#this was fun to make felt like i was back on livejournal :D | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

prophetkristy · 1 year ago

Text

20 YEAR DIVE-A-VERSARY

(I'm not old, YOU'RE old!)

copypasta from LiveJournal Dreamwidth:

Like Finding Nemo, Only Less Cartoony Part III: 3955

On December 14, 2003, I went to the bottom of the ocean.

It is getting late in the Extreme 2003 cruise, and the handful of us on board who have not yet gotten the opportunity to dive on Alvin are starting to get worried. The electrochemists' instrument is giving so much trouble that the chief scientist is minded to send a member of their lab down on every dive in order to troubleshoot. This despite the fact that the instrument's daddy, D, has given a group of other scientists a course in running the instrument, and common fixes, so that we will be able to take in situ electrochemical readings on our dives despite not being well-versed in the field. Despite the fact that most of the electrochem failures have been due to hardware problems and instrument hard grounds which were unfixable from within the submarine and shut the instrument down for the dive after the point of no return. A few of the other PIs on the ship are looking out for those of us who haven't yet dove, however, keeping track of who had yet to dive and how many dives were left, dropping suggestions to the chief scientist whenever they feel they have a chance.

In all matters scientific on Atlantis, the chief scientist has final say. This includes selection of each and every scientific observer for each and every dive made on the expedition. S/He has, therefore, a very difficult job, coordinating the wants and needs of 20+ scientists (and their co-workers back home) with limited ship and sub time. There are naturally a lot of tensions. Our group has the added fun of a chief scientist who always waits until the last minute for things. The observers for a dive have generally not been chosen until the night before that dive; sometimes very soon before the night's dive briefing.

When you're a newbie scientist on Atlantis (and a huge Alvin fangurl to boot), you try so hard not to get your hopes up, and usually you fail. Even though I felt blessed merely to have the opportunity to be on the ship and do research at sea, and I knew there was no guarantee I would be able to dive on Alvin, I really, really wanted to be chosen. I couldn't help keeping track of how many newbies were aboard vs. how many total scientists got to dive vs. how many dives we had left [1]. All I could do was try to be helpful on board in any way I could (so I didn't seem like a waste of valuable ship-time expense), and hope.

After yet another yummy dinner [2] on Dec. 13, I am at the bank of computers in the Main Lab going over dive tapes for footage of Pompeii worm sampling. It is cold, frustrating work. iMovie keeps crashing, and the vagaries of the ship's environmental controls have made the main lab excessively air conditioned on this trip. (The annoyances are partially mitigated by being near the electrochemists' lab space. They were fun people and I enjoyed being with them.) At some point, the chief scientist, C, appears behind me, leans over my shoulder, and says quietly, "How would you like to dive tomorrow?"

…!!!

I think I squeak out a "really??!?!" whisper. C is suddenly the most awesome person in the world. (If I were chief scientist I'd get a huge kick out of making people's days/weeks/months/lifetimes by picking them to dive!) He reminds me when the briefing is (in a few hours!) and goes off about his stuff.

My attention span, naturally, is shot all to hell. I save my workspace and fly to the computer lab to send a squealy email (or what would have been squealy, if emails had sound) to advisor, mom, and boyfriend. I fly to my cabin and pull out the wool stuff I've brought for the occasion (socks, sweater borrowed from mother). I riffle through my file o' accumulated paperwork for stuff from the briefings I'd had earlier in the cruise. (Actually, I'm not really sure what I did before the briefing (besides the emailing and flying).) I am v. bouncy.

Apparently there is some shuffling about who's going to be diving with me. I get the feeling that P, who's finally chosen, is called to the briefing pretty much as it's starting and told just then. (did I mention C did things at the last minute?) C becomes even cooler: P is a newbie, too. C is trusting *two*newbies* with a full dive.

P and I are two newbies all ready to become Deep Sea Explorers.

What happens at a dive briefing? The chief scientist, observers, and pilot (minimally) meet and discuss the dive plan. Others may attend: the expedition leader (from the Alvin group), any scientists who have special equipment aboard or sampling requests. The dive plan is a list of objectives to be met for a dive, along with pertinent instructions, dive coordinates, sampling requests, etc. It's one of those things the chief scientist must rack his/her brain about every day. We also go over any instruments or equipment to be used, and the pilot or expedition leader will bring up any safety concerns or technical issues and make sure the dive plan is realistic given their capabilities. I learn how to operate the Sipper, the water sampling instrument that will be on Alvin's basket, which is controlled with a palmtop computer by one of the observers in the sub. We also get tips and reminders on note taking, video operation, what to pack for the dive, and much more.

After the briefing you pack up your warm clothes, notebook, dive plan, spare batteries for the palmtop, any goodies you feel like bringing (I'd brought a stash of Riesen for the cruise--chocolate can be like gold at sea) into a pillowcase which is stowed in a box in the Alvin hangar. The pilots will make sure your stuff gets in the sub when they prep in the morning. Then you try to get some sleep, as you're due on deck by 7am. I am afraid I won't sleep, but the darkness of my cabin and calm rocking of the ship work pretty well [3].

Regardless, I don't have difficulty getting up the morning of Dive 3955. ;-) The sun is not quite up when I get on deck. I snap a photo of one of the first sights to greet me, the expedition leader getting the sub ready for my dive. *g*

Expedition leader P prepares Alvin for my dive. Obviously he's a good leader, as he's managed to delegate well here.

The pilots and techs are working over Alvin, still in the hangar. I wander the deck and try not to explode with excitement. (B, the morning's launch coordinator, makes a comment to me about trying not to be nervous and going to get some coffee or something. I look nervous? I'm not; I'm thrilled! I'm about to ride the world's first deep-diving submarine to the bottom of the ocean! And there's no way I'm eating or drinking anything before being shut into a titanium sphere for 8 hours [4]!)

The dive plan, naturally, changes at the last minute, and we huddle to confer. Yes, I'm really short. From left, B (launch coordinator), C, T, P, and me. Behind B you can see the aft of Alvin; above our heads are some A-frame hydraulics. Also on the deck behind us are several float packs for elevators.

Preparations for the dive go mostly as usual. After what seems like the longest prep ever to get the sub attached to the A-frame, P and I are called up. We climb the stairs, remove our shoes, wave to the crowd.

P and I are ready to dive!

As the starboard observer, I enter first. There are designated places you're allowed to put your hands and feet, and you have to be careful on the way down not to trip switches (there are control panels everywhere in the ball, including just behind the ladder you climb down). The hatch opening is greased (to assure a tight seal, I assume) and you have to be careful not to hit that on your way in (I think I did, what with my gimpy knee--but we didn't leak or anything, so it's all good). The pilot is already inside. You fold yourself down into your space as quickly as you can so that the port observer can follow you down and get into his space. Once all three are situated, the launch coordinator removes the ladder and seals the hatch. There's no going back! (According to my research, no one's ever fainted inside the ball. You do go inside beforehand, during your dive safety briefing near the beginning of the cruise, and I reckon any claustrophobes are weeded out then--long before they're ever sealed inside.)

Inside the ball, it isn't as crowded as I expect it to be. (I think all three of us were on the small side.) I sit behind and to the right of the pilot, who sits on a padded box (the first aid kit, IIRC) behind his window, surrounded by controls. I have my own window, looking starboard and forward and a little down (it was actually a little low for comfort--when glued to my window, which was fairly often until we really started working, I was rather contorted). The windows are v. small; just wide enough for two eyes. If you have hands my size, and make a circle with your forefingers and thumbs together, it's about that big around. They are tapered with the wide end outside, so not only do you get a good range of vision, but I imagine it also helps the pressure issues. They're about 3.5 inches thick.

Above that is my little video monitor and the controls for it and for my pan-and-tilt camera on the top starboard of the sub. Each observer has a monitor that can toggle through every camera mounted on the sub (and there are a handful), and also a pan-and-tilt outside that's a camera + light that can be controlled by remote. You can also turn on or off overlays on your monitor, which give you real-time information from the sub's computer about temperature, depth, position, and much more. Two digital video recorders run throughout the sub's time on the bottom. One is slaved to the starboard pan-and-tilt (which also has two lasers on it that are fixed at 10cm apart so you can get a sense of scale), and the other is slaved to whatever the port observer has on his screen. So you have video responsibilities on top of everything else. There is also a tape recorder and mini-maglite in my little corner. Many things like this remind you that this ship has been in service (though constantly upgraded; there probably isn't a single original part left) since the early 60s, and things have evolved for utility through long experience.

To my left, in the back of the sphere, is the science rack, a big rack of equipment and stowage. (The observers also have racks above their heads holding computers and such--space inside the ball is at a premium.) A shelf there holds a few handheld digital cameras--video and still--for when the mood strikes us, as well as the Sipper's palmtop. There is also the all-important lunch, always packed [5]. In the corners between science rack and observers are oxygen tanks, CO2 scrubbers, your pillowcase full of stuff, oxygen masks, and other necessities.

You can, of course, see outside through your window even when the sub is still on deck; I admit to appropriating the digital camera (since I couldn't take my own) and taking lots of curiosity photos.

C aboard the Avon, as seen through my window as we dangle above the ocean waiting for the divers' signal.

Having watched a number of launches by this point, I know the drill, and it is interesting to actually be launched. I see a number of jellies outside my window as soon as we hit the water. I don't notice much about the final preparations; before I know it T is radioing Atlantis for permission to dive, and we are sinking silently beneath the waves.

I'm in that little sub!!

It takes about an hour and a half to drift 2500 meters to the ocean floor. After learning how early I was expected on deck, I had toyed with the idea of napping on the way down, but of course I'm way too excited for that. We use the time to go over the dive plan and make sure we're absolutely familiar with what needs to be done. The pilot spends the first few hundred meters checking for grounds in any of the electrical equipment. We also listen to music; yes, the pilots have installed a stereo system in the ball. And we get steadily colder. The ball isn't insulated, nor does it have internal heat. Ambient seawater is about 2° C (halfway between refrigerator temp and the freezing point of water). Hence the warm clothes. You're encouraged to wear natural fibers (think fire). They also supply a couple of wool blankets, neatly folded underneath the lunches below the science rack. My mom's sweater keeps me pretty cozy; my feet are a little chilly, as usual, so I am thankful for the blanket.

The hatch and its tiny one-eyeball window (T tells me it's to make sure we don't surface directly underneath a ship). You can just barely make out the seam. Note condensation on the ball, and audio speaker at bottom left.

With the cold comes condensation on the inside of the ball. You've sealed in air from the surface, which (because we were at 9° N) is warm and humid. So the inside of the ball gets quite wet. As the dive progresses, water starts to drip over your window, giving you a split-second moment of worry that it's leaking. (At the pressures of the deep sea--over 250 times atmospheric pressure--if there was a leak, you'd probably never notice it before the sphere was crushed, I reckon.) Water also collects in the bottom of the compartment (there is a flat floor inside the sphere over a little compartment beneath), so you're sitting in a puddle. I don't even notice my wet rear until we're ascending again; we are v. v. busy once we reach the bottom.

The seafloor, off-axis. This photo was taken by the Dancam, a high-res digital camera mounted on top of the sub that automatically takes a photo every 30 seconds during bottom time. The front edge of Alvin's sample basket is at bottom. At right, the starboard manipulator has taken hold of the elevator we will later attach to the InSECT. Look closely to see a sea cucumber.

Dive time is limited by the sub's battery power, so no external lights are switched on until we're just above the bottom. We're working on the East Pacific Rise, a crack in the ocean floor west of the Americas where hot water and sometimes magma oozes out of Terra's crust. The sub comes down off-axis, which means that it's a small distance away from the vent area. You don't want to come down right on top of one of those black smokers!

Before we discovered vents (off the Galapagos in 1977), we thought the deep sea was a pretty barren place, biologically speaking. If you consider the common method of deep-sea biological sampling--tow a net behind your ship--it's no wonder. (One oceanographer remarked that sampling the deep sea was like running blindfolded through a field with a butterfly net above your head.) Hydrothermal vents are probably the primary focus of deep sea life, and they are *packed*. Some figures place the biomass per unit volume at a vent as much higher than the "photic zone" where light penetrates the top of the ocean. That's saying quite a lot, especially considering that we were under the impression that all life on Terra somehow traces its energy back to the sun; there is no sunlight on the bottom of the ocean.

So we reach the bottom, 2502 meters below the surface, off-axis where there isn't a lot to see. Mostly flat rocks (pillow basalt) and a few sparse pink sea cucumbers and sea stars. T gets his bearings (based on the baseline established by Atlantis once arriving on station), and drives us toward the vents. The best indicator that you are approaching the vent area is the crabs. There are little white crabs everywhere down there, and they increase in density as you move closer to the hot water, where everything else thrives. Regardless, the bottom of the ocean is an entirely different world, with plenty of strange alien life.

Another thing that increases in density near the vents (but mostly off-axis) are "Alvin droppings": scores of dive weights left where they're dropped to rust and return to the ecosystem. ;-)

Most of our work is at a place called Tica. This isn't actually a black smoker, but an area of diffuse flow--great habitat for Riftia, the giant tube worm. We retrieve the electrochemists' InSECT (In Situ ElectroChemical Tool, named on this cruise by one of the pilots and looking a little like a mantis), sending it to the surface on an elevator. We sample the Riftia around which the InSECT has been taking measurements for the past four days. We pick up numerous sampling devices that have been set down there at the beginning of the expedition. We take a water sample with a niskin bottle that had been rigged atop the sub; the rope to trigger it is flippantly labeled "Pull to Flush." (hee!) My window isn't well situated to observe the action in front of the sub, so I mostly watch my monitor (at one point my pan-and-tilt is right on the action, because the pilot wants to use its lasers to mark the area he's working in) and work the Sipper. Tica is an incredible place; giant tube worms growing in clumps almost like flowers, their red lipstick-shaped gills poking out of their tubes. Older clumps of Riftia are tangled masses. Swarms of amphipods above the worms like insects. Crabs crawling over and under and around--the worms go down in their tubes when poked, a likely crab-defense-mechanism. The occasional ghostly white eel-like fish.

Taking a sample of a giant tube worm. The pilot honestly just grabs the tube in a manip and pulls it up like a weed. It will go in the open biobox on the basket. The InSECT is at bottom left.

After finishing our sampling at Tica and moving slightly off-axis to send the InSECT up, we drive to an actual black smoker called Q Vent. Driving is one of the biggest drains of battery power for Alvin, and our driving around to find the elevator for the InSECT, find various samples, and find Q Vent, coupled with a less-than-optimal battery charge [6], cuts our dive time short. After a cursory survey of a portion of the Q Vent chimney where my organism of interest, Alvinella pompejana, is growing, T informs us that we have only 40 minutes remaining on the bottom due to power concerns.

Taking Sipper samples of an alvinella colony at the Q Vent. The Pompeii worms grow in papery tubes of metal sulfide directly on the sides of the chimney. The instrument being held in a tube here has a temperature probe and electrodes for electrochemistry (when it's working), as well as the inlet for the Sipper. Note the red dots of the starboard pan-and-tilt's lasers, which are 10cm apart for scale.

One the things about which I'm most proud, being on a double-newbie dive, was the decision we made at that point. With 40 minutes, I felt there was no way we'd get any appreciably good Alvinella samples--both my group and the bacterial group are interested in well-documented measurements before sampling, especially of temperature and electrochem. Rather than doing a quick snatch of random worms, we decide to abandon the colony and get a frying pan set up in the time we have remaining. A frying pan is an apparatus our geochemists have built to put over the top of a vent chimney to grow a "protochimney." A day or so after placement, the frying pan is collected and brought to the surface, where it can be dissected to find out what's in a growing chimney [7]. We have just enough time to take Sipper samples of the black smoker on top of Q vent (which is a very tall chimney) and place the frying pan before we run too close to our power reserves.

The frying pan placed atop Q vent. The "smoke" isn't actually smoke, but metal sulfides precipitating out as they hit the cold seawater. These precipitates are what build the chimney at a hydrothermal vent. The water at the vent opening is 350° C (3.5 times the boiling point of water). It doesn't boil because of the extreme pressure. Note the "snow" in the water all around; these are clumps of bacteria.

Having accomplished all that we could for the day, we drive slightly off-axis and drop weights, beginning our slow float to the surface. All the exterior lights are again extinguished and the only thing to be seen outside our thick Plexiglas is occasional little specks of bioluminescence.

What the bottom of the ocean *really* looks like.

On the way up, there are still tasks remaining. The pilot has things to take care of with the sub and its computer.

T, our pilot, types data into Alvin's computer.

We scientists collate our notes and prepare a science report, which is called up to the surface once those up top are ready for it. The science report is a quick summary of what was accomplished on the dive, generally received and/or circulated during the afternoon science meeting. It's useful for the rest of the team on the surface to know what samples and how many are on their way, so that preparations to receive them can be made. The obligatory "this is me in the sub!" photos are taken. And we finally have time to eat lunch!!

P in the port observer's position, readying the science report. Yes, they've put in some cushions between us and the titanium, thank goodness. His window is just behind T's knee; you can see the blue pad around it.

Me, sitting in the pilot's seat. Behind me on the control panel you can read the temperature (in green), 1.8° C, and the depth (in red), 1559.4 meters.

I have yet to write in detail here about recovery, but one thing that happens is that Alvin sits on the surface for about half an hour which Atlantis slowly and carefully drives up to it and gets into position for recovery. Alvin is a fairly small boat--about the size of a UPS delivery truck--and so even calm seas will move it around quite a bit, in various directions. Waiting for recovery was one of the few times during the expedition that I felt seasick. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, telling myself in firm tones that I Would Not Be Sick.

I'm sure the scientists aboard had a great time planning for not one, but two initiations once P and I returned from the ocean floor. (another planned entry--initiations!) Actually, I know they did. After we climb out of the ball and stretch, we look for our shoes; they aren't in the bag on the side of the A-frame where they've been left. G, the recovery coordinator, points them out: sitting on the yellow line delineating the "safe" zone, mine frozen in a block of ice! (P's are merely frosty from being in a freezer.) I nearly fall off the stairs on my way down from laughing so hard! We're duly initiated, and I set my icy shoes out of the way to thaw and dry in the warm equatorial afternoon sun.

Some cold shoes. Compared to the stories I've heard, this was a pretty mild prank!

I'm very amused. :o)

Since we haven't gotten any Alvinella samples (disappointingly), I don't actually need to be present for the daily basket-swarming. I hang around in the sunshine drying off until P chases me off the deck because I'm not wearing shoes. (Um, obviously.) That's my cue to squelch my way inside and downstairs to change clothes.

The evening of that memorable day is also notable. I wander a good deal, winding down from my incredible experience. Out on the deck, seaman E is shining a light overboard and is fishing for squid amidst swarms of silvery flying fish [8]. If you discount most of 'em being underwater, they look quite a bit like a flock of little birds. I watch E help B bring in one of the biggest catches of the cruise.

B and his mondo squid. [9]

Finally I go looking for a flashlight so I can go up to the bow and look at the stars. D, one of the SSSGs, offers to go with me. We plant ourselves on the deck in the bow and cast our eyes to a glorious night sky spread above us. I've only seen that many stars before on camping trips in the mountains of Idaho. And it was somehow fitting to end a day spent at the bottom of the ocean by exploring the vast heavens.

Note: if I haven't done so before, I heartily recommend the book Water Baby by Victoria Kaharl for any and all fans of Alvin. It's out of print, so look for it at your library or used. It's a fascinating history of science and discovery.

[1]: Then there are the additional considerations: every eighth dive is a PiT dive, where the sub carries a pilot-in-training in place of one of the two scientific observers aboard. Also, it was general practice (at least on our cruise) that at least one of the two scientific observers on a dive was "experienced" (has been down at least once before). [2]: The food aboard Atlantis is v. good. Our steward/cook, L, was amazing. At our very first briefing on the ship, the captain told us we *would* put on weight during the cruise. [3]: I slept really well on the ship. The only time I didn't was when we had weather. My cabin was a level below water level, up in the bow. Waves of any appreciable size would SLAM into the hull with resounding booms. When we were cruising or there was weather, it was a little like being inside a cannon. [4]: Indeed, Alvin has no restroom. They do carry bottles for necessity. You have to empty your own up top if you used it. You can well imagine the apparatus is much easier for males to use. I managed to not need it. [5]: The one time Alvin was wrecked (it fell off its cradle during a launch in 1968 and sank--no one was inside), it stayed on the bottom of the ocean for nearly a year with its hatch open. After the salvage, they found the lunches inside incredibly preserved by the cold of the deep sea. [6]: You know how your Walkman's rechargeable batteries will charge better if they're completely drained beforehand? The principle is the same for large batteries, too. The night after 3955, the Alvin group deep-cycled the batteries. There was no power shortage on the next dive. I'd be bitter, but really I'd have been happy and fulfilled with a scant five minutes on the bottom. [7]: The downside here is that 3955 ended up being our last dive in that area, so that frying pan we put there was never recovered and is probably now a part of Q Vent. I still think we made a good decision. I imagine a lot of sampling devices get left and are overgrown (biologically or geologically) down there. Vent ecosystems are extremely dynamic. [8]: I only saw the flying fish at night, usually when E was fishing or when we had a light out there for a CTD cast (ack, another entry: CTD hooking!). [9]: We grilled it (and others) at the end-of-cruise barbecue!

#i still kinda can't believe this happened to me #also sign me up to dive in the new sphere #(please please please)#dsrv alvin #extreme2003 #deep sea research #r/v atlantis #science #deep sea #alvin

1 note · View note

shupadoop · 3 years ago

Text

I hate JKR and Drarry is my OTP

When I was a kid I adored reading, and I devoured new characters and stories. I read less and less over the years as one does because adult life is demanding. And then I very suddenly got interested in writing again in my adult life which lead me to reading again. I grabbed 4 books at a time from the library, read them on my commute, put together story ideas when they inspired me, then did the whole thing over again.

And then Covid happened (and I was in a lousy position because of non-covid things as well) and life was really fucking hard.

Suddenly the idea of consuming brand new media was overwhelming. I barely had the mental energy to do my job, or generally live my life. Becoming emotionally invested in new characters was just not on the table. So I became extremely nostalgic and threw myself into all the stuff I liked when I was about 12 (peak internet *rawr*) because it felt like seeing old friends which came with a low cost and big emotional reward.

When I was 12 Harry Potter was the absolute shit. All the cool kids shipped Drarry (but obviously we called it H/D). I went to the midnight release party for books at Chapters, I had a stone to commemorate Dobby in my garden, I had every Potter Puff MSN avatar saved on my computer.

To be drawn back to all that in the midst of JKR going on a seemingly never-ending transphobic rant was weird to say the least. When it started to become common knowledge that JKR was not the great person our pre-teen selves imaged, I thought it might be interesting to reread Harry Potter. I wondered if I a) missed any literary content as a child that could be fun to dissect later and b) if there would be any hints she had a shitty view of gender.

The answers were none whatsoever, and yes, tons, respectively. The world was inconsistent, the character motivations didn't always make much sense, the kids were in blatantly oppressive gender roles, and yes, it was racist. I remembered that even as a kid there were things I didn't like about it, but it was of such cultural importance I happily ignored the things I didn't like in exchange for revelling in the LiveJournals, and DeviantArts, and FFNs dedicated to HP.

And that's where I think the true magic happened. I have a theory that what pushed Harry Potter from a popular series to a truly household name was the community that was able to exist around it thanks to the internet as it was in those days.

Something that really struck me when I reread the books is how poorly developed Draco's character was. In my reading I expected to find a boy struggling to find his way, who was led down the wrong path, but here and there showed real capacity for change. Someone witty, and elegant, and who had the mark of someone who would be very charming if he wasn't an utter git. There was nothing of the sort; until book 6 he only appears in a few short scenes and doesn't have much personality at all. The image I had of him was one entirely built by a bunch of randos on teh interwebz that collectively decided to take all the parts they liked and throw away the rest and tell amazing stories of personal growth, and resilience, and love. I think that's truly remarkable, and absolutely beautiful.

This is what brought me back to Harry Potter fanfic. This is why in my covid-addled, anxiety-ridden, overworked adulthood I spend my me-time reading Drarry fics. I love you wonderful tumblrverse shippers and your refusal to let TERFdome take your optimism.

#I didn't know where else to say this #So here you go internet randos #Have a little view into my soul #Just some middle of the night thoughts #drarry #fuck jkr

6 notes · View notes

lilydalexf · 4 years ago

Photo

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Tabula Rasa

Tabula Rasa has 8 stories at Gossamer, but there are even more X-Files fics at AO3 and her website. She writes Mulder and Scully in a very lovely way. I've recced 3 of my favorites of her fics here before: Bird in Snow, Fall: East on M St, and Skuamorph. Big thanks to Tabula Rasa for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I'm always extremely pleasantly surprised to get kudos (or, very rarely, a comment) on my old fic, but I'm always happy to see it! I did post them all (I think) to AO3. I'm not surprised people are still reading fic, though. It's an iconic show and now with streaming, it's really easy to watch older shows and natural to want fic about them!

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

XF was my first fandom, definitely my first online fandom, and so it will always have a special place in my heart. Also... I had a great time! I stumbled upon and joined the Scullyfic email list by accident, but it was the best thing I could have done. I learned a lot about how to be a writer and how to be in fandom, and those lessons are still important to me. Foundational. Also, in terms of modern fandom drama, XF was more low-key on the drama (although it didn't seem like it at the time!). But I learned something that's always served me well: find like-minded people, and hang out with them. Don't worry about the rest.

Also... you can't control the show, but you kind of can control the canon.

Because of Scully, I ended up taking a forensic anthropology class in university-- and now I have a Master's in a forensic science! Part of the Scully Effect, and proud of it!

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Definitely mostly email list! I never really got the hang of message boards. Posting fic was exhausting, and tbh I never figured out how to work Ephemeral. I checked it every day, though! I loved, after a new episode, everyone sending in their thoughts and reading everyone's experiences together. Fandom was a lot more work back then, tbh!

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

That fic can be just as good, or better, than traditionally published works. There are works of XF fic that have stuck with me for years now, far more than some books I've read. That fan writers can know the characters better than the show writers. The fandom in general was really smart, and mostly more adult than me (I joined fandom when I went away to college, so I always felt at the younger end of the scale. That was good though!).

Also, my first time reading and writing porn. Not gonna lie, I was shocked the first time I accidentally read smut. But I adjusted fast. lol

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I was still a kid (now we would say preteen) when the show premiered- I think in middle school. But I was already into ghosts, aliens, monsters, solving mysteries, and I'd already imprinted on the dynamic thanks to Square One (really)! I was also just old enough to start developing celebrity crushes. Hilariously, I did not twig to the fact that I'm bisexual the entire time I was in XF fandom, despite having enormous crushes on BOTH Mulder and Scully. Ahhhh!

Also, my whole family was into the show, but I was definitely the one with the hyperfixation. I used to take notes and record the episodes as I watched. It just had the right stuff and hit at the right time. And I've always been obsessive.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

As a kid I also really liked Star Trek, and someone had given my dad a book about the history of Star Trek, which I read. This included mentions of fandom and fanfic. As soon as I had a private-- and perhaps more importantly fast-- internet connection (in college), I went looking for XF fanfic, and that was that. Hooked immediately. Also I shipped them A LOT so that's what I went looking for.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I tend to not go back to a fandom once I have a new fandom, so I wouldn't say I'm in it. I did hang around the edges for the revival, of course, because I wanted to experience that with the same people, but since the revival was mostly not that great (with a few exceptions), I didn't get pulled back into it. But I still think of the people I knew in the fandom a lot, and always hope they're doing well.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I've never left fandom, and I've been in a BUNCH: Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Bandom, Supernatural, now CQL/The Untamed and other Chinese-media fandoms, with many smaller ones in between or on the side. I feel like at their core fandoms tend to be similar, although where you host the fandom makes a big difference: Livejournal, tumblr, twitter. I think that because fandoms now tend to be bigger and more diverse (which is good) there tends to be more wank (which is bad). In some of them I was close to a group of people, some of them not. Honestly the best thing is when someone you know from an old fandom is in your new fandom. It's so much fun. I have really good friends thanks to fandom, and I've had them for YEARS. Like. 15 years.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I tend to focus more on ships than characters, but some of my all-time favs: Scully, Hermione, Sirius Black, Castiel, Lan Wangji, Xie Lian. That's just fandom-oriented ones, otherwise we'd be here all day. :D

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I don't often rewatch episodes any more, although if I come across an ep on tv I might. I definitely still think about them though! For example, I'm a teacher now, and just a couple weeks ago one of my colleagues mentioned he'd heard the students saying they shipped two of their classmates, and he was like "Ship? I don't get it" and I was like "HOO BOY, do I have a story for you!" And I explained how shipping came from XF fandom, and why. That was fun. I definitely still think about Mulder and Scully too-- I mean, they're cultural touchstones, so they do come up sometimes in greater pop culture. Also, I was in Hannibal fandom for a while, and Gillian Anderson is still The Best.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I haven't read XF fic in years, even the ones I remember as being really significant/important to me. I still have my all-time favs saved on an external HD though! Fic in another fandom- every day lol.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Blinded by White Light by DashaK has stuck with me. Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the Ruby-Throated Warbler by I forget I'm so sorry -- that's lasted as my ideal post-canon MSR and as an interesting and different way to tell a story. [Lilydale note: It’s by rah.] I was always thrilled to see fic by Brandon, JET, MaybeAmanda, Syntax6... and, frankly, everyone on the Scullyfic/ Emuse list. So many talented people in that fandom!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Things Outside, which is the only thing I've ever written based on a dream, and I'm really satisfied with it. It was hard to write but so much fun to revel in the weirdness. I always kind of wanted to write more because I know a lot more about the situation, but otoh, I like the open, ambiguous ending (usually I am very HEA).

In other fandoms, King & Country in bandom (MCR) and in Supernatural I'm very proud of Hope and Clay. I struggle to write casefics even though I love to read them, but that one really worked out.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I don't think I'll ever write something new. There is an old fic that may be done but it was smut so I was too shy to post it at the time. In theory if I find it and it's decent, I could post it!

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I do! I write fic very slowly, but I do write still! I have a million ideas for stories, but I'm so slow at the actual writing part.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I usually take a jumping-off point from canon, or of course, something I need to fix or expand on. Or sometimes I start telling myself a story as I fall asleep and the idea grabs me long enough I can manage to write it.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I was getting into fandom and realized people didn't use their real names. I flipped through my history book looking for inspiration, and decided tabula rasa was a great name for a writer. I tend to add an X because it's rare to get "tabularasa" as a username, and the X is indeed for X-Files (so I'm something like tabulaxrasa most places). I usually go by Tabula Rasa or Tab, though. And I still use it because 1) it IS a great name for a writer; and 2) it's not fandom-specific so I can keep it in every fandom.

I identify with it so much I have answered to this name in class (oops). I have a "Tab" t-shirt (as in the soda, but I have worn it to Comic-Con for ease of ID-- better than a nametag!). And my mom got me a necklace with a "tab" typewriter key as a charm, which I adore. Yes, I have accidental merch of myself.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

As you can tell from the above, my family knows (my family being my parents and sister). They are supportive! I think my mom read a couple stories? But obviously she has to know the fandom to get it... I got my sister into fic, and we even wrote a couple fics together (in Gundam Wing). She's a lot more selective about fandoms, but she's joined fandoms on her own, too. She's just not in one constantly, like me. :p

I tend not to tell not-online friends unless I have felt them out and know they're super fannish, or they bring it up first.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Most of my old fic is now on AO3 and I hang out on twitter a lot, @tabula_x_rasa

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I'm really glad people are still in this fandom! It will always be so important to me. Thank you Lilydale, for this nostalgia trip!

(Posted by Lilydale on March 30, 2021)

#old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #tabula rosa

41 notes · View notes

virtualpeople · 4 years ago

Text

Simblr Community Challenge by @amelettes

Got tagged by @lilith-sims - thank you for tagging me!

How long have you been playing the Sims?

About 15 years or so? Can't quite remember how far back it was, other than it was probably about 2005/2006 and it began with a nice shiny copy of the Sims 1 Complete Collection. Spent a good three years in isometric bliss building big shapeless shopping centres filled with neon inflatable furniture before one day experiencing the Sims 2 on a friend's computer. Three dimensions! A freely moveable camera angle! More than three levels of zoom! Young uranium-z wasn't impressed - clearly a game with such a tragic lack of neon inflatable furniture was inferior to my beloved Sims 1. It actually took another year or so to accept ts2 into my life, after one day waking up and thinking 'you know what? Maybe 3D environments wouldn't be so bad after all'. Y'know, well after the sims 3 had been released and all that, but hey, better late than never!

How long have you been a Simblr, and why did you become one?

First tumblr post February 19th, 2012. Ouch, that's the best part of a decade. As to why? Probably because everyone on livejournal was setting one up and posting nice pictures and it looked amusing, or something like that. I can't really recall much about 2012 (other than the eurovision song contest , which is sadly irrelevant to answering this question) so lets just assume that was it, and not some kind of bizarre quest bestowed upon my shoulders by a grizzly old spellcaster in a long-forgotten cave, since that would just be silly

What type of Simblr are you

Been posting basically the same content for almost a decade with very little change, so perhaps... vaguely dated? Stuck in my ways? I'm just having fun over here posting lazy pictures, daft backstories and once-in-a-millennia CC - am genuiniely jus here for a laff (and maybe make someone else laugh on occasion)

Which generation of Sims do you primarily play

what do you mean play i just spend all day attempting to wrestle with bodyshop Sims 2 with the occasional dose of Sims 1 (gotta soak up that wonderful downtown jazz music in it's original format). Tried ts3 for a bit and wasn't really feeling it, and more recently tried ts4 out when it was free on Origin and felt it even less (sliders i missed you) so it's very likely to stay that way.

I’m truly dreadful at interaction and tagging people and am not sure who’s already been tagged so... uh.. consider yourself tagged if you read all the way through that and fancy giving it a go? :D

#sims #but also #not sims #tag meme #fun fact: i loved the ts1 soundtrack so much i never actually gave the ts2 soundtrack a chance #since my stubborn git past self though 'this ain't my ts1 jazz' and muted it #and from the first launch that's the way it stayed #never thought about it before now but i have no idea what it sounds like lmao #so while ts2 won my heart it never won my ears

14 notes · View notes

olderthannetfic · 5 years ago

Photo

37 Days Till Escapade!

There’s still time to make it to this year’s con. It’s going to be a good one!

Due South was a staple of late 90s slash fandom and predictably popular at Escapade. It was a fun buddy cop show about a mountie and two different Chicago cops named “Ray”, Ray K and Ray V, or as I like to think of them:

The Cute One and The One Who Can Act

>:D

I kid! I kid!

The series started out by teaming Fraser up with Ray Vecchio, salt of the earth local Chicago cop with the stereotypical big Italian family and a sadly prescient surname. After two seasons, the show got canceled. Fans went nuts trying to get it renewed. For once, their beloved show actually came back!

But as often happens in these situations, some of the actors had already moved on. Ray V’s actor left the show and was replaced by “Ray” K for reasons too stupid to need exploring at this or any other juncture.

(Okay, look, he’s undercover as Ray V so Ray V can go undercover with the mob. They look nothing alike. Ray V’s family has to play along with this. Like I said, it’s absurd.)

Incidentally, if you see fans using some version of “For reasons that do not need exploring at this juncture”, that’s a Due South reference.

Fraser/Ray V already had a following amongst slash fans of the later zine era, but Ray K hit just at the right time. It was 1997: the public was getting online, and fandom was expanding rapidly. Free mailing lists and online fic archives were possible on a scale they never had been before. And Callum Keith Rennie is awfully pretty, isn’t he?

I think you can guess what happened next.

Overnight, the new juggernaut with The Pretty One dwarfed the old ship. The show changed tones somewhat, and later viewers who were pimped in through the new ship didn’t always even bother to watch the first two seasons. Remarks were made about the shipability of the balding one. Fans who felt like their efforts to save the show were what eventually got it renewed felt betrayed both by canon and by fandom.

Massive butthurt ensued.

So virulent were The Ray Wars that there are places on LJ/DW where to this day you cannot talk about Due South without instantly restarting the fight. If there was one silver lining it was the many snarky Livejournal icons proclaiming: “I swing both Rays”.

I’m bi and I like terrible dad jokes. I am required to love that.

Sample lulz from isis, though made by lozenger8. I know like 50 of you had these damn icons, but it’s probably been 15 years since I actually saw one used.

Escapade Due South panels include:

1996: Perfectly happy couple, or the world's most dysfunctional relationship? And where does the wolf fit in?

1998: Is 3rd Season an AU? (Get that strange man's hand off my Mountie! Is Due South like M*A*S*H* - strong and secure enough to survive the loss of a major character? Or will Fraser wake up and find Ray Vecchio in the shower, and the third season just a dream?)

1999: Can this Fandom Survive with Two Rays? (No matter what you say, they're both good for Benny. And bad for him. Is there room in Benny's universe for two loves? Maybe neither of them is right for him. Turnbull, anyone? )

2000: Season 3/4 (Fraser/Kolwalski: who's really in charge here? Who's needier?)

2002: Swingin' both Rays (Fraser cares for both of them, so why can't we? Is it possible to accept all seasons as canon? Is it necessary, or desirable, to go beyond OTP in order to embrace all the wonderful characters Due South offers?)

2003: Small Fandom or Monster in the Closet by Alice in Stonyland, Sharon Marais (This panel will discuss both viewpoints; audience is encouraged to share their stories and opinions.)

2014: Due South Retrospective (Let's stage a dramatic historical reenactment of the Ray Wars for the benefit of those who missed it the first time around! Or we could skip that part and just talk about how awesome Benton Fraser is.)

2017: due South: For Reasons That Continue To Need Exploring At This Juncture (Whether long-time fen or new to this fandom, an opportunity to give and get fanworks recs, share links to social media due South community sites, display show-and-tell due South memorabilia, squee about canon and about fanon. May also include topics that are Canadian Six Degrees (AKA Six Degrees of due South).)

2018: Do Slash (Rey Fraser/RayV? Fraser/RayK? Ray/Ray? Fraser/Ray/Ray? Red ships, green ships, other dS ships? Let's show the love for any of them! Share fanworks recs! Reminisce about how we first found dS slash! Discuss dS slash zines (plus some announcements about NEW dS slash zines).)

Personally, I’ve seen exactly three episodes of Due South: The first one, the first one with Ray K that’s a huge callback to that, and the one where Fraser fakes his death. (What? A girl has needs, okay?)

As pretty much a bystander, I gotta say... wow, the potential between the Rays is so interesting.

Here’s Ray V off on this deep cover mission for ages and ages while Ray K is pretending to be him and hanging out with his family and his old partner. Imagine the loneliness and insecurity of knowing you’ve been replaced at home. Imagine the mindfuck of stepping into some other guy’s life and feeling like a fraud. Ray K ends the series riding off into the sunset with Fraser... while Ray V marries Ray K’s ex wife. Whut?

It is no surprise then that my very favorite Due South vid--and it has a lot of competition because this fandom is known for vidding--is Phoenix by Scribe. It’s a constructed reality of Vecchio’s time undercover. (Helpful of that actor to have been in like 800 mafia canons!) I saw this at Bitchin’ Party a number of years ago and was blown away.

Phoenix on AO3

Due South has tons of great fic, making it another great older fandom to check out. The big archive was the Due South Archive, but like so many other great slash archives of ages past, it now resides conveniently on AO3.

I suppose Due South must have had a het arm of the fandom at some point, but if so, I sure don’t know where it hung out. Fanfiction.net has like 800 stories, as compared to AO3′s 12,580.

Due South on Fanlore

Due South on AO3

Countdown to Ray Wars 3.0:

10...

9...

8...

#fandom history #due south #escapade 2020 #escapade con

34 notes · View notes

mcrmadness · 4 years ago

Note

Oooo, how about two from each of them? Fanfic asks: J and P, film asks: 15 and 16, music asks: 20 and 26.

OMG thanks!!! :DDD

Ask games: Fanfic asks, Film asks and Music asks. (People you can still send me asks if you want, asks are fun to answer to!)

***

FANFIC ASKS:

A little background before we get to the questions: I haven’t written too many, actually only 6 quite short ones (and one of them is a bit longer than usual) about Die Ärzte (Bela/Farin FTW) and all of these I have written between the years 2009 and 2012, so I was 18-21 which means they are not that good. And there’s lots of things I wouldn’t write anymore. I also have a WIP on my computer, I started it in 2012 but stopped writing altogether only to start writing again in the end 2018, it has bit over 28k words currently and tbh I have written 90% of that when I started writing again two years ago. I still have my old ones up on LiveJournal (ask for a link), but I haven’t published anything fron this later one as I’ve just been writing down all kinds of snippets whenever I have had an inspiration. I think those are also a lot better in quality than what I wrote before, the old ones are quite cringey.

J. What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I guess we talk about those fics I have also finished, now. It’s actually hard to decide but I would say my favourite is either Why not even once? or The Boring Book Freak. I think the latter is actually The favourite.

The first one (was actually my second dä ff overall) is set to happen in 2003 and in that one Farin is leaving for another vacation somewhere and Bela wants to go with him, but Farin wants to travel alone and Bela is struggling with that, as well as with Farin finally leaving and having to somehow survive his time at home without Farin there. The writing itself is bit stupid and I feel that the end got bit too far but otherwise I like the idea.

The second one (came actually after the previous one) is set to happen in the early/mid 90s (my fave Bela/Farin era btw) and on that they just are at some random summer cottage. Now, fuck cottagecores and such, I wrote it because summer cottages are a thing in Finland and I wrote it when cottagecore was not even cool yet. Somehow I imagined that it would be very Farin-like to rent a cottage from the middle of nowhere, in a forest and then spend a weekend or so there with Bela. Who then is not entertained at all and is bored because Farin won’t put away his book and won’t give him any attention, so he tries everything to get Farin’s attention. I especially like the visual images this fanfic gives to me, I can see their hairs and outfits so well and those are also aesthetically very pleasing. (They look the same as in that Absolut Live interview from the 90s, I don’t control their looks with my fics usually, I just have an idea and then my brain creates how they look in that particular scene :D)

I have also written a short songfic around the lyrics of their song “Ich weiß nicht (ob es Liebe ist)” and it was fun to imagine that as Bela/Farin. That was fun to write.

This got a bit long so I put the rest under a cut:

P. What are your favorite tropes to write?

(Had to google what a trope is lol. I’m old-school and no longer know most of the terms unless they’re old terms.)

Angst - I put my own angst, sadness and angriness into my writing often. It’s when I feel like in real life I would need other people but I don’t know how to reach out or don’t just feel comfortable about opening up, I open up a file and start writing. This is also where we get to the next trope...

Hurt/Comfort - But not so that X hurts Y, but that Y feels hurt for other reasons and then X comforts them. I kinda got obsessed with this theme after being bullied at school so I was always hurt but never comforted, so I often go back to those feels and emotions with my text to look for that comfort (hug, nice words, whatever) I never got in real life.

Fluff - This is bit complicated because I like writing fluff but I also hate reading fluff I have written. Because it does not sound like me. And sometimes when I write, I feel like standing behind my own back and vomiting a little on the inside because of how cheesy and disgusting that is but still I can’t stop writing. And then I feel like a different person when I read them because I can’t believe it’s ME who wrote them. The same way when I watch movies and people kiss, I always look away. And I want to look away when I read my fanfiction. But I can’t, especially because I know I looked at that scene in my head when I wrote it.

Humour - I love humour so much and I like to include this to my writing. Normally I put the humour in my comics but some of that fits also in the regular texts too.

***

FILM ASKS:

These are super tough but also fun - I have been trying to think of what to answer to these for days.

15. A film everyone loves but you hate?

The Avengers (-12). Sorry but not sorry. Well I don’t hate it but I don’t understand why everyone says it’s the best Marvel movie ever. It’s not. It’s full of clichés and stupid forced heteroromances and whatnot and the plot was just so, so predictive I don’t understand why it’s often talked about as some sort of cinematic master piece. I literally was able to tell everything that was gonna happen next when I watched it for the first time. Only cool things in that movie are Loki and Iron Man, whose character I already liked as I had seen the Iron Man movie and liked it. But I hated both Thor movies (the third one is awesome tho).

I like Marvel and I have seen I guess most of the movies - before MCU all good Marvel movies to come out were The X-Men movies and Spider-Man movies, and because I saw so many terrible Marvel movies, I was avoiding the whole MCU and I got into these movies much later and still, after seeing them all, I say The Avengers is one of the worst ones. Thor and Thor 2 are pretty much even worse (and I haven’t even seen the Hulk movie because it looks terrible), mainly because I just can’t stand the fact they’re mainly just built around Thor and his love interest...

16. A film you love but everyone else hates?

Spider-Man 3 (or the whole trilogy with Tobey Maguire). I see we continue with Marvel here but seriously I don’t understand why everyone is always picking on Tobey’s version of Spider-Man? And people especially hate the third movie and how Venom was portrayed in it (I’m obsessed with Venom’s human teeth pls I want his teeth), when it’s actually the best one for me. The second one is bit boring because it was again all about whining and Mary-Jane... Anyway, the reason why I am so attached to these movies is that I saw the first Spider-Man movie from TV when I was a teenager and in junior high myself, and I was bullied and a bit of a nerd so I could relate to Peter Parker a lot, and it gave me just so much strength to see him become Spider-Man and to stand up against the bullies and other assholes.

I also saw the third movie in the movie theater and there was one scene during which I started hysterically laughing with my friend because of an expression Tobey made as he was sitting on a bed, I don’t know why but somehow I just totally lost it at that :D It still makes me laugh so much when I see it! And when the movie ended, I heard a The Killers song “Move Away” for the first time during the end credits and TK was one of my favorite bands at the time (and still is).

***

MUSIC ASKS:

20. a song that empowers you

It gotta be Dead! by My Chemical Romance:

youtube

This album was what got me through all the shit that happened when I was 15+ and especially this song always made (and still makes) me feel so good. I often listened to my old mp3 player while walking to school and back home and every time this song came by, I just felt like nothing can harm and that life FINALLY was so great! It’s so energetic and still makes me feel that living is actually super awesome.

26. a song that taught you a lesson

Hmmm. I think I will answer to this with Dusche by Farin Urlaub.

youtube

That thumbnail is terrible but... And why did I choose this song? Well, I’m all for the sound what comes to music and I’d say at least 80% of all lyrics go way over my head. I just don’t have the skills for understanding poetry and also very poetic lyrics make me go crazy. I hate not knowing and when I have to assume, guess and interpret something. I don’t want to guess but I wanna know what someone has actually thought.

Dusche was the first song that had lyrics that for the first time ever actually spoke for me. I probably saw some video with English subtitles a fan had made and it just blew me away because holy shit, people are capable of writing lyrics even I can understand??? And that way I realized I can like lyrics but only if they make absolutely no sense (aka are funny or somewhat crazy, like Dusche) or when they are written in a story form or sung from the 1st person view or to “you” or in passive - but only if I can get behind the idea there.

After Dusche, Farin’s song Porzellan followed. And one of my absolute favourites is Karten. So, Farin is one of the only few people whose lyrics I have been able to understand. I still don’t hear lyrics and don’t understand a majority of the lyrics my fave bands write, and I have understood only a couple of Bela’s lyrics and I’m not sure if I’ve understood any of Rod’s lyrics. It’s not even about the language barrier anymore really, it’s just the topics or wordings I cannot comprehend.

Thank you again for the ask! This was very interesting to ponder and answer to :)

#useless-blog-of-a-moth #mutuals #ask games #mcrmadness' random stuff

1 note · View note

amandajoyce118 · 5 years ago

Text

Agents Of SHIELD Easter Eggs For My Missed Episodes

Okay, so I fell very far behind the last few weeks. Work has been busy and exhausting, freelance work has been busy as well, and the state of the world in general here in Florida is pretty much the apocalypse. So, this Sunday, I binged the episodes I’ve missed. The Easter eggs are under the cut (or whatever tumblr calls it, I am livejournal old.) just because this is going to get long.

We’re starting with S7E07. Yes, that’s how far behind I am.

Obviously, there are spoilers, but since I feel like everyone else is ahead of me at this point, that’s probably a given. If you just want to escape the world for a while, have some Easter eggs.

S7E07 “The Totally Excellent Adventures Of Mack And The D”

The title

It’s a reference to the time traveling adventures of Bill and Ted, of course.

River’s End

This is the town just near the Lighthouse. It’s the town where Deke first materialized on Earth back in season five.

Run SOP7.07

When Russell gets the computer from his old classmate to check out, this is what’s on the screen when he boots it up. I think we all know that’s a reference to this being the seventh episode of the seventh season if you catch it on screen. The writing on the first print out kind of looks like Kree writing, but I think that’s just because all of the alien writing in the show looks Kree. (This whole sequence has nods to War Games, Weird Science, etc.)

Mack’s Model Car

The ‘67 corvette is the first model car Mack intends to take to his younger self and his brother. He puts it together instead. That’s the same model he tells Coulson he and his dad put together when he was a kid when he tries to convince Coulson to let him work on Lola in season two if I remember right.

Swayze’s Bar

Anybody else get a Roadhouse vibe, or just me?

“Don’t You Forget About Me”

I get that this song is probably chosen for the recognition factor, but I feel like it’s also Deke’s not so subtle way of asking the team and Mack to not forget him in 1982/3.

Deke Squad

The way Deke introduces them to Mack is an homage to the A-Team, right down to the music. Honestly, the pop culture references are many in this episode, and I probably won’t list them all because there are just so many 80s references.

The Chopping Mall Homage

Okay, this one I will mention because the director for Chopping Mall clearly didn’t understand that the show wasn’t ripping him off. Though there’s a lot of robotic references (like the Doctor Who Dalek “exterminate” from the Sybil-bots), the episode borrows a lot from Chopping Mall when it comes to the design of the robots.

Deke Speaks Russian

It’s clearly a FitzSimmons family trait to pick up on languages. Every time there’s a hiatus or significant time jump, it seems like Fitz, Simmons, and now, Deke learn a new language. Also - Russian is the language Bobbi is surprised no one knows in season three, though Daisy knows a few curse words.

Nathaniel Malick’s Look

Just me, or does he seem to be borrowing from Grant Ward’s season three closet?

S7E08 “After, Before”

The Establishing Shots For Afterlife

They look to be reused from season two, which probably saved the show a little money.

Jiaying In Blue

This is probably just a coincidence, but I like that they put her in blue for the episode. Why? Because when Raina is so determined to find out her destiny, she talks about stories her grandmother told her about “blue angels from the sky.” We know that’s the Kree now, but still, it’s a nice, likely unintentional, callback.

Elena’s Memories

The shrike is from last season. Ruby’s death is from season five. Tess’s death is also from season five. What they all have in common is guilt, May’s not wrong about that, but also Elena’s impulse control.

Abuela’s Necklace

That necklace is the same cross from season three that gets passed around the team in the finale, ending up in the quinjet bound for space that Hive and Lincoln die in. Elena’s remark about her father getting mixed up with bad people? That’s possibly a nod to her father being a supervillain in the comics.

“Time, Space, it’s never stopped us before…”

Nice nod to all the things Fitz and Simmons have been through over the years, and their remarks about the worst things they’ve been through in the past as well.

Kora And Nathaniel

Okay, so the dynamic between these two with Nathaniel convincing Kora to join him reminds me a whole lot of Ward convincing Kara Palamas to join him. It’s also what brought Daisy to Afterlife in the first place - the idea that her found family was afraid of her - but she realized the error she made eventually.

“You’ll bounce back.”

They’ve been saying this about Elena all season in regards to her mental state and her powers, so I’m glad this paid off with her figuring out real super speed instead of her dying. She’s now evolved beyond her comic book counterpart.

S7E09 “As I Have Always Been”

The title

It’s obviously a nod to Enoch’s line, but it’s also been said in the series before. Sybil has used the phrase “as I have always been” before, so it’s clearly a Chronocom thing.

The title card

I like that every time it’s a weird space/time story instead of defined by the decade, they’re using this particular title card that’s reminiscent of the one from Jemma being trapped on an alien planet.

“People like you.”

We can all agree Daisy reminds him of Peggy, right?

Removing the Implant

The images on screen when Daisy removes Jemma’s implant looks eerily similar to when Jemma removed files from a guy’s nasal passage way back in season one. I guess the special effects used for the computer screen is similar.

Enoch’s “heart”

Him simply pulling it out of his chest is not unlike Tony Stark pulling out the core keeping himself alive in the Iron Man movies. I also like that they equate this with Enoch’s heart in the same manner that Pepper Potts equated Tony’s with his.

Enoch’s Loneliness

Not really an Easter egg or a reference, but what Enoch describes, I think, is how everyone feels about found family storylines in shows like this. You find something you need in them and don’t want to let them go.

The Water Glasses

Interesting choice to train Kora with glassware. Daisy did that too. (Side note: how old is Kora supposed to be? She said she’s felt dangerous “for years.”)

S7E10 “Stolen”

The Title Card

I feel like they just get more and more 80s with every episode.

John Garrett’s Backstory

It’s almost word for word what Garrett explained when he was revealed as Hydra in the first season, right down to him holding his guts in his hands.

Durant

So, Malick calls the guy getting Lee’s powers Durant, but I kind of wonder if he’s meant to be the father of Durand. Gerald Durand is a mercenary in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. He works with Batroc on the Lemurian Star, hired by Hydra.

“Long haired creepo stabbed you with a pointy stick.”

That was Loki. John Garrett got to watch Avengers a few decades before it was released.

Sousa’s Stolen Moment Comment

I feel like that’s kind of a nod to Endgame and Steve becoming Peggy’s husband. Because all Steve wanted was a chance with Peggy and he didn’t care if that messed up the timeline. Sousa would give anything for just a moment, never mind a whole lifetime.

“If The Job Was Easy, It Wouldn’t Be Any Fun.”

The quote is a variation of one Garrett says when he’s originally in the show and both Ward and Trip are familiar with it. (He says “everyone would do it” instead of “it wouldn’t be any fun.”) I guess it’s something of a catch phrase for him.

The Room Holding Coulson and Gordon

That’s the same room that Cal destroys with his super strength when he’s not allowed to see Skye (Daisy) in season two.

“Best Day Ever!”

It’s kind of odd to what Garrett using this phrase since it was Cal’s, but I guess in a Jiaying heavy episode, it makes sense.

And that is it. I am caught up. It is unlikely that I will rewatch any of these to add more just because I’ve been so busy, so if you saw something I missed, feel free to let me know.

#agents of shield #aos season 7 #aos spoilers #aos easter eggs

2 notes · View notes

captain-aralias · 5 years ago

Text

End of Year in Fandom meme

i know on tumblr the tradition is to post a list and then wait for people to ask you before just telling them all your thoughts... but i come from livejournal where we answer all the questions.

here are my thoughts about the things that i really liked in 2019.

if no one reads it, that’s cool! if you do read it - that’s cool too. please talk to me about any of these things. i have strong feelings about them.

Your main fandom this year?

this was, of course, 'carry on'. now there are two books, it might be time to start trying to call the fandom 'the simon snow books', but i don't think it's going to stick.

it's a nice fandom. not overwhelmingly big, but active enough that it's engaging. lots of people's first fandom.

Your favourite film watched this year?

movies is where i'm weakest now music has been removed from the list because i'm been watching long-running TV instead of 2-hour things, mostly.

i really liked the netflix christmas movie 'klaus' - but i would say, my favourite movie was 'steven universe - the movie' which is notable in that it's a movie of a TV show, but for reals. it was SO GOOD. i thought the structure worked really well as a movie, and the fact that it was longer than 10 minutes meant we got lots of proper-length songs :D

Your favourite book read this year?

ok! this is easier. i read lots of great books this year, mostly pratchett. many of which i think i've read before, but my memory is bad and it was a long time ago. there were only a few that i really really felt like i'd read before, like 'night watch' and 'going postal - which are still my favourite-favourites.

the best ones i either hadn't read before at all or remembered very little of were 'wee free men' and the 'amazing maurice'. also, all the middle vimes books - like, had i read 'the fifth elephant' before? i don't know. but it rocked.

also this year - there was a new 'invisible library' book (genieve cogman) which was about a heist (i love it!), two new 'murder most unladylike' (robin stevens), and right at the beginning of the year, 'the wicked king' (book 2 of 'the folk of the air' by holly black - who has never fully worked for me until this series. now it's amazing'.

'wayward son' was my most anticipated book, but it wasn't my favourite of the year even tough i have three copies of it, plus the audiobook, plus the kindle book. i feel for it in a different way than i feel for other books as it is my fandom and it's special to me in a way none of the other books are. it's also not bad, like some anticipated things have been - it just wasn't exactly what i wanted.

but, you know - bring on 'any way the wind blows'. it's set at watford. i am down for that.

Your favourite tv show of the year?

TOO MUCH CHOICE, ARGH.

2019 was, for me, the year of (animated) television shows that blew my mind with how much i loved them. if i had to choose one... i'd have to go for 'ladybug' but it's a tough call.

i love 'ladybug', even though it's a monster of the week show for kids that is written in another language and dubbed. somehow it transcends this and is SO GOOD and fun.

closely followed by:

steven universe (of course)

mob psycho 100. (how the hell did it get so good so fast? the first episode was like, eh, i guess this fine, and then it was about FRIENDSHIP, and growing up, and compassion.)

my hero academia (a late entry, i literally watched it last week. SO GOOD OMG)

yuri on ice!!!

haiyku!!

i also really enjoyed/am enjoying 'she-ra' and i'm enjoying 'the dragon prince'.

did we watch anything that had real people in it? yes. (i also watched a lot of starkid musicals - which doesn't fit anywhere on the list). but it wasn't as good.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

see above.

all the anime and ladybug are all massive fandoms/massive megafandoms that i'd never heard of because i am an ignorant westerner (this is what tumblr is good for, to be fair to it - forcing you to interact with random stuff that people who share one of your interests are also interested in - i have found many things that i like from seeing gifs of them). i read some yuri fic but i didn't want it to suck me in, before i was read to leave 'carry on'... so i backed away. i haven't read any 'ladybug' fic for the same reason.

and i dont ship stuff in BNHA so what's the point? (except maybe all might/eraser head, but i think maybe that' because i like them both the most as characters and they've been in some scenes together. and are adults. and all might is really gay - not a good reason to write fic) (or is it?) (no - i've got lots of 'carry on' stuff to write......)

Your biggest fandom disappointment?

it feels like the answer should be 'wayward son' after what i wrote above, but i wasn't actually disappointed at all, if that makes sense. although i wanted to be filled with overwhelming love, i didn't expect it - it was more like i was desperate to read the book (particularly because loads of people got it early, but i didn't) and my head was just full of white noise for weeks during september. even things like the 'steven universe' movie coming out didn't stop my brain saying 'WHERE IS WAYWARD SON???'

and then when i got it was like - yeah, this is all right - not my favourite, but now i know what happens i can process it. what a relief.

ok! i know what my actual biggest disappointment was - i REALLY wanted to like the new 'his dark materials'. it looked great! it was long - which i thought would mean it would be good. i had lin manuel miranda in it!

but i didn't get past the first episode. it just had far too many random boring scenes, and james mcavoy was all wrong for asriel, and i just hated it.

Your tv boyfriend of the year?

HMMMM... as usual, i love too many. (erin is well aware of this terrible state of affairs - if there's a rubbish and yet strangely competent stringey man in something, she knows i will like them too much).

i probably feel closest to adrien agreste, even though reigen arataka (mob psycho) is exactly my type.

and let's not even talk about how beautiful viktor nikiforov is. it should not be allowed.

Your tv girlfriend of the year?

this one is easier (alas indeed - we watch television programmes about MEN). it's marinette dupain-cheng. she is so smart and kind!

also - the worst witch wasn't very good this year (so it didn't get on the list, see above), but hectate hardbroom is still great.

and, of course, i have always loved the doctor. is it right to put the doctor here? people have started using non-binary pronouns now. idk - i'm going to say she's a woman right now.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?

eeeeer.........

renaissance faire sword fight in 'wayward son' maybe? (it was about 7am, i can't really remember but i think i was happy)

or something like - spoilers - the end of the most recent season of haikyu!! you'd think - surely the heroes will win, but what i've learned in anime is that sometimes... they don't. and so i was genuinely invested in whether or not they would get into the nationals. and THEY DID!!!!

The most missed of your old fandoms?

B7 - i definitely miss it more than doctor who, athough obviously i did go back for thirteen. (i liked the series - it was perfectly nice, and i was one of the people who didn't want a female doctor because the doctor's always been a rubbish man and i thought that was part of his thing. but now that there is a female doctor i'm much more like - shit, i wish i was the doctor, but i guess she's really good. the episodes themselves are just fine, though. it doesn't make me fannish)

i wrote a thing for 'blake's 7' because i was asked to by someone who is really lovely, and i met up with mrsunderhill from tumblr and we talked about fic stuff - and she told me that a lot of russian-speaking fandom followed me from doctor who to B7, which i did not know. (hello russian-speaking fans, if you are here).

but it was hard going - i realised i'd lost the knack, but also how great the show is. i probably won't read any more who fic unless it's by people i know, but i would still read B7.

just probably not anymore 1990s gen. i started selling the zines that i know i'm not interested in.

The fandom you haven’t tried yet, but want to?

i already said 'don't tempt me, frodo!'

i'll go looking once i'm fed up with 'carry on' and not before.

#my content #carry on

17 notes · View notes

plantboipotter · 6 years ago

Text

Drarry Fic Recs

Heed All Warnings and tags etc. They are in place for a reason.

I’ve compiled a small master list of Drarry Fanfiction recommendations - excuse the fact that I only read like 4 authors, all their stuff is just really good and I end up falling down a rabbit hole. Irregardless, I hope you find new fics to indulge in! Every single one of these authors are brilliant and I cannot sing their praises enough.

Short - Up to 20k

Fine I'll hold my breath / til i forget it's complicated by Teatrolley

10k - E

Summary: Harry and Draco become friends with benefits, and Harry thinks it's more complicated than it actually is

Erosmancy by astolat

11k - M

Summary: Blaise was immune to whatever it was people usually felt around his mother, for which he was profoundly grateful, since no one needed an Oedipal complex on quite that spectacular a scale, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have a thorough respect for her gift.

Newts by astolat

13k - E

Summary: “I’m twenty-eight!” Harry said. “I’ve been an Auror for ten years! You want me to go back to Hogwarts now?"

Notes: Written for prompt #1 by jokerofish: Harry's about to be promoted to the Head of the Auror Department when Zacharias Smith brings up a 235 year old law that states a department head must be a Hogwarts graduate- now Harry has to go back and graduate Hogwarts - unfortunately that means convincing Professor Malfoy to give him something more than D.

Reparatio by astolat

17k - E

Summary: Draco snorted. “I’m not reduced to penury. I want something considerably beyond money, and I rather think you’re the only one can give it to me.”“You want the Invisibility Cloak,” Harry said, flatly. He’d half expected as much; it was the only thing he had that Draco could want—“Don’t be stupid, Potter,” Draco said. “I want my reputation back.”

Medium - 20k - 70k

Here Be Dragons by birdsofshore

21k - E

Summary: Harry doesn’t want to waste his time investigating illegal dragonhide trading, whether it involves a fetish club in Knockturn Alley or visiting a remote island in Wales. Why the bloody hell does Malfoy always have to be up to something?

The Rules of Matchbreaking by PalenDrome (nerdherderette)

22k - E

Summary:

For Prompt #51: When Draco gets fired, he reluctantly agrees to break up a girl’s relationship for her disapproving mother. Through word of mouth, the one-time gig turns him into a professional Matchbreaker, however he winds up falling for one of his clients and must somehow balance his secret job and love life.

[excerpt]: “So who is it? The Curse-breaker and the Veela? The head of the Department of Magical Transportation?” Draco’s eyes lit up. “The Dragon-tamer?” Now that particular Weasley could be fun.“No. It’s Harry,” Hermione said, the name exploding out of her in a rush.Draco blinked, stunned into silence.“Harry,” he said, after he recovered his faculties. “You want me to break up Harry and the Weaselette?!"

The Critiquer by dysonrules

24k - E

Summary: When Harry submits his cock photo to a renowned Cock Critiquer and gets a terrible review, he decides to take a photography class to hopefully improve his skills.

Draco's Proposal by sibamoono

23k - E

Summary: Based off the film "The Proposal" Draco Malfoy has spent years making ammends for his misdeeds as a teenager. However it seems its not enough, as it continues to hinder his career. That is, until Harry Potter pops in unexpectedly.

Wish Upon A Star (as dreamers do) by ICMezzo

27k - R (You need an ao3 account for this particular fic - but it can also be found on LiveJournal)

Summary: There’s plant magic and celestial magic and dark magic and the normal magic that allows Harry to use a spell to clean his socks when Myrtle’s taken up in his laundry room again. Then there are wishes, and dreams, and love, and those are even more magical still.

The Four Ds of Apparition (or: Destination, Determination, Deliberation, and Dicks) by eidheann and firethesound

36k - E

Summary: After transferring to the Apparition Department, Harry's life becomes one big dick joke. And all his friends are arseholes. So is Malfoy, but what else is new? AKA Harry Potter and the eighteen twenty dicks.

A Convenient Impracticality by firethesound

38k - E

Summary: Somehow Harry ends up agreeing to a fake relationship with his ex-nemesis-turned-friendly-acquaintance-with-benefits, except for some reason it involves an awful lot of actual dating and, sadly, not much sex. Confused? Harry is too, but when has anything with Draco Malfoy ever been as straightforward as it seems?

The vanishing department by dicta_contrion

37k - E

Summary: The things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, even if that involves a lot more form-filling, bickering, covert glancing, miscommunication, and flying furniture than we might expect.

The Boy Who Only Lived Twice by lettered

54k - E

Summary: Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It's all right here, folks.

Naked by bixgirl1

57k - E

Summary: Harry and Draco are sent on an undercover assignment to catch a Dark wizard — which might not be so bad if it weren't at a Muggle nudist resort.Now Draco has to deal with a very interested Harry, temptation he's long-since learned to ignore, and threats around every corner — including the one to his heart.

A Guide to the Morphology of Magic by wendlaa

64k - E

Summary: When Draco Malfoy is hand picked to investigate a string of curses cropping up in Muggle communities in North America, the last person he wanted to be traveling with was Harry Potter. Still, duty calls, and the two set off on an adventure chasing down mysterious curses, sleeping in cramped hotel rooms, and trying to navigate their newly formed post-War selves as they make their way through small towns and long, dark stretches of highway.

You Open Always (petal by petal) by birdsofshore

65k - E

Summary: Harry’s not the kind of person who pays for sex. He really isn’t. Until he is.

Long - Over 70k

Tea and No Sympathy by Who-La-Hoop

70k - E

Summary: It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he's falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him?

Unhook the Stars by jad

70k - E

This is Top!Draco, so if that’s not your thing, maybe skip this one!

Summary: "Love is like a Rubix Cube: there are countless wrong twists and turns, but once you get it right, it's perfect no matter how you look at it." Seventy-thousand words of pornographic discourse between two boys-turned-men that still haven't learned how to communicate like normal people – with words. Guest appearances by Pansy Parkinson, Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini, Teddy Lupin, Gregory Goyle, the Weird Sisters, ex-wives, several Weasleys, a Boggart, and a Honey Badger.

Headlights In The Snow by Saras_Girl

71k - M

Summary: What’s big and purple and smells like tea? Harry is about to find out.

Reparations by Saras_Girl

87k - E

Summary: Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.

Azoth by zeitgeistic (faire_weather)

88k - E

Summary: Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care.

Balance, Imperfect by bixgirl1

91k - E

Summary: When Harry sustains an injury in the line of work, he no longer knows how to navigate the life he loved, and finds help and solace from the most unexpected source.

Helix by Saras_Girl

92k - E

Summary: Seven months after the end of the war, Harry is feeling lost. Fortunately, he is about to be offered an unexpected and sparkling chance to find himself again.

At Your Service by Faith Wood (faithwood)

95k - E

Summary: Hogwarts students are in danger; Harry is determined to save them all. There's only one thing he knows for certain: Draco Malfoy is somehow involved.

Bloody But Unbowed by Lomonaaeren

100k - E

Summary: Nothing in Harry’s life since the war has gone the way he expected. And now he’s the mediwizard assigned to take care of Lucius Malfoy, of all people. But he’s Harry; he grits his teeth and endures. He won’t allow even Draco Malfoy’s flirting, which he knows is just a joke, to disconcert him.

Starts With A Spin by Maxine

119k - E

Summary: It started with the spin of a bottle, and now Harry and Draco have gotten themselves so far into their own game there's almost no way out again. Except to keep playing.

Level Two: Series one by Ashii Black (ashiiblack), blamebrampton, Catsintheattic, dustmouth, epithalamium, incandescent (lmeden), JosephineStone, leveltwo, nerakrose, raitala, Romaine, Vaysh, Writcraft

113k - E

Summary: Witches and wizards are disappearing in a seemingly random fashion. Coincidence? Abductions? But no one is claiming ransom. The Aurors are not even sure the disappearances are connected, then one of the missing turns up dead. Meanwhile, Auror Harry Potter is thrown into the infamous Sirius Black Muggle murder case from 25 years ago. Given a chance to clear his godfather's name for good, Harry is not above accepting even the help of magical specialist Draco Malfoy.

Written On The Heart by Who-La-Hoop

113k - E

Summary: Harry doesn’t mind that so many Slytherins from his year have returned to finish their NEWTs, really he doesn’t. It’s just – do they have to be so friendly? He’s not prejudiced, really he’s not. It’s just – they’ve got to be up to something, right? Unnerved by the attention he’s attracting from everyone – the Slytherins are the least of it, to be fair – and struggling with a raft of changes to Hogwarts itself, Harry wishes he could be happy that one constant remains: Draco Malfoy really fucking hates him.

When he’s hit by an illegal love-spell though, Harry finds he has more to worry about than whether or not Blaise Zabini actually wants to be his friend. For if everyone affected has been blessed – or cursed, by the look on Malfoy’s face – with a magical tattoo revealing the name of their soulmate, what does it mean that Harry’s skin remains completely bare?

What We Pretend We Can't See by gyzym

131k - E

Summary: Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

Any Instrument by dicta_contrion

131k - E

Summary: Draco Malfoy wouldn't go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can't control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound

149k - E

Summary: Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

Mental by sara_holmes

186k - M

Summary: Harry has had quite enough of sharing his mind with someone else, thankyouverymuch. A miscast Legilimecy spell says otherwise.

Turn by Saras_Girl

306k - E

Summary:‌ One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

#drarry #fic recs #masterlist #slow burn #mycompliation

13 notes · View notes

sakurasakiyama · 6 years ago

Text

PSA: I’m Back~! ♡

(I had to dumb down this gorgeous GIF because of the limit... I hate the limit >.<)

Yes, after being gone for about 5 months, I have decided to make my return to the online world :D I have missed all of you so very much, and I’m glad to say that I’m doing a lot better now mentally than when I left! ❤ 2018 was a very big year for me, I made a lot of mistakes over that year, so I’m going to do my very best to stay and continue to be the positive person I am, and hope that 2019 will be a better year for me :)

A lot of things have happened with Tsubasa and in the 2.5D world since I’ve left here. And of course, I had to come online a couple of times for a few little things every now and then. As of course, I’ve been keeping up to date with everything in the shadows that’s been happening with Tsubasa, Toumyu, and a couple of other things! So, I’m glad I could find a way to keep up whilst being away from everyone, and I could join in on the fun quietly in the shadows :D

Of course, I want to touch base on what happened before I left, as well as what’s going to happen next with everything I was doing prior to leaving also >.<

Like I said before, 2018 was a very big year for me, where a lot of bad things happened. I had a lot of people came to dislike me from what happened about a year ago now, and IRL was a major stress for me with Uni & the family. And I will admit, I’m not the perfect person, and I’m not proud of what I did. I just suddenly felt like I couldn’t do it anymore, I had to get offline before I would do something even worse that I’d regret. But coming to that decision was never easy, it really broke my heart having to leave. I was a literal wreck who broke down once and for all.

However, in doing that, I had to stop doing the one thing that made me really happy and was special to me - the Tsubasa Trash Community. I hated that I was having to let it go in order to get myself better, it took me a long time to get over having to let it go. And then Charlie made the decision to do it all on her own in my absence. After that, I knew that I had to start focusing on myself and where I kept going wrong. I remember seeing in one of the comments that was left when I was leaving. One of them said, “...it's important that you stop damaging yourself for the sake of strangers on the internet and start putting your own mental health first.” After all this time, that message stood out to me and helped me connect to where I was going wrong. And because of that, I’m now making progress on improving myself as a person, as well as mentally, and now I’m doing a whole lot better! :D

Now, of course you’re all wondering, what’s going to happen next? xD Of course I can’t go back to how everything was since I’ve left, it’s not that simple >.<

Since Charlie decided to take over full control of the Tsubasa Trash Community in my absence, I can no longer go back to doing the work that I loved doing prior to leaving. That being said, I will miss posting and translating like I used to. So, it’s heartbreaking for me to no longer be a part of the Community I started, but in the end, there’s nothing I can do about it. Therefore, I will be posting some other random things here and there of translated interviews (online & magazine), scans, GIFs, and whatnot of Tsubasa of course xD I still love the boy and that’s never going to change, so I’ll still be posting a few little things whilst working on subs to keep my blog active as much as possible! :D I will also be opening my messages and ask box again as well! So don’t be afraid to have a chat with me and catch-up :D

As for subs, I will still be working on subs for OchaRock -THE LIVE STAGE-, along with the special episodes and spin-off. And I’m half way through re-timing/subbing the DVD episodes of FIVE for everyone. That being said, the subs are my main priority for now as I’d like to get them done before early March when I go back to uni. As for requesting softsubs, I’ll continue to leave that in my partners hands (@rz-jocelyn), so please ask her for them, either for FIVE (public broadcasting) or OchaRock for the time being. I will eventually allow people to ask me once again after I’ve sorted everything out and started getting back into the rhythm of things :) Hardsubs will still be posted as usual! xD

As for my downloads, I will continue leaving them on Tenimyutopia as well for the time being. If anyone asks me for them here on Tumblr, I will redirect you to Tenimyutopia on LiveJournal to download them. As I don’t want to turn on my messages and asks for a majority of them to be for download links >.< Because with wanting to work on subs and them being a priority to get them all done, I won’t have time to answer asks for links in that period. Possibly during March, I’ll allow everyone to send me requests on Tumblr again for links :)

Well, I think that’s it! xD Again, allow me to say, I’M BACK~! ❤

P.S. My blog (and also twitter) will also have a few changes made to it within a day or two with header, wallpaper, profile and description being changed. I haven’t had the chance to change all of that yet, so please be patient with me whilst I make the preparations xD

#Personal #PSA: I'm Back~! ♡

47 notes · View notes

rainbowserenity · 6 years ago

Photo

On Friday, I got to go to the KH pop-up experience at Disney Springs!!! It was basically just a big room of merch and the demos and stuff, but I got to sit by a giant mural of the cover art so day made A++++ I also got pics of like EVERYTHING there, which is under the cut if you wanna see :D I got to play both demos (there was one for Olympus and one for Toy Story) and have a bunch of thoughts, but I’ll put that towards the bottom in case anybody’s avoiding minor spoilers (although I think these are the same demos they’ve been showing at a bunch of conventions so this might be ~common knowledge~ IDK I’M JUST TRYING TO BE CAREFUL)

I saw the sign pretty much immediately and was like LEMME IN OMG ALKSJF;LIWJE;FLIWJEF

THEY TEASE YOU WITH THE MURAL LIKE HEY LOOK AT ME IT’S AWESOME

I know everybody’s already seen it but YEAH JUST LOOK AT IT

I ran in there and took a bunch of selfies next to Aqua and the cast members were looking at me like I was crazy :(

BUT WHO CARES :D

and here’s the Destiny Trio looking fabulous as usual~*~

they also had these renders covering a wall, so naturally....

had to struggled to take a pic with Reekers~*~*~ (seriously, the cast members were staring at me like I was the only person to take selfies against the banners.....although judging from how many people wandered into the place asking, “What is this? A video game? Is it free?????” maybe they see it less often than I want to think lmao)

This area led to the demo area!!!

those screens played the trailers on a constant loop (and Dearly Beloved was playing in the background ;; it was a little hard to hear cause of the noise but STILL, THE FEEEEEEEEEEEELS)

better look at these signs~ I think it’s kinda funny that Sora/Donald/Goofy were only included on the posters if they had new looks lmao

Took this for @tensai-shoujo ;D They had an Olympus poster next to it, you could only see them when you were walking towards the demo area

HELL YEEEEEEAHHHHH

I like that they had those banners/murals/whatever up everywhere, as opposed to just setting up a bunch of screens lol IDK IT JUST MADE IT FEEL MORE SPECIAL

I just really liked that Sora art~*~

another view.......kinda wished I could’ve yoinked one of those banners lmao

BUT LIKE I SAID I played both demos and before I get into my thoughts on them, I shall show off the merch and stuff :D

WAIT FIRST THE KEYBLADES WHICH WERE LIKE....AS LIFE-SIZED AS THEY COULD BE I GUESS ALSKDJF;LIWEFJ I had to physically restrain myself from completely freaking out (y’know, besides the usual)

I feel like I should know what the second one is...?????? I though it was Starseeker at first glance, but it’s not so idr if it’s a new one......obviously the last one is the Toy Story one lol

They had a kiosk under here where you could preorder the game, but I was mostly just all THIS ART IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND SOON WE WILL SEE IT ON OUR SCREENS AS WE PLAY TT__________TT

and now for the merch!

the top shelf was the deluxe edition of the ACTUAL GAME, and even looking at the real case and stuff, it still doesn’t even seem real......like we’ve been waiting for 12 years, is ANY OF THIS FOR REAL OR NOT??? I kinda wanted those figures on the bottom and hey, there’s that one keyblade!!!

in case you can’t read the signs, the top shelf is a preorder bonus from ordering it from the kiosk....I kinda liked that lanyard lolol. the bottom shelf is bunch of awesome standees I vaguely recall seeing in the Squenix store (I’m not really up on all the merch lol I avoid looking at it too often cause it makes me WAAAANT it and I am poor, so I just don’t want to torture myself)

ngl I kinda want this......REEKERS MY LOVE.............

NEVER MIND I WANT THIS MORE LOL I’ve been wanting the Aqua play arts for so long, why do they have to be so expensive now?!? at least I got to see it in person lmao I SHALL TREASURE THE MEMORY FOREVER~

the KH3 Sora play arts~ THERE’S THAT KEYBLADE AGAIN WTF it must be a new one???

I had no idea there was a Roxas play arts??? or is this even released yet??? like I said, I’m not really up on merch news lol I guess his head must be interchangeable since you can have his hood on and pretend he’s super angsty about missing Axel and stuff

I’ve always thought these were kinda cute in a stupid way lmao

and I’ll unceremoniously end the images with lovely keychains and jewelry :D

Those are all the pics! now I’ll babble about the demos and my experience with the battle system, so stop here if you don’t want to know for whatever reason~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Like I said earlier, I got to play both demos! It was slow enough in there that I just moseyed back in through the line and I could feel the silent eyes of the cast members judging me 8))))))

I played the Toy Story one first cause duh, and I think it dumps you into the beginning of the world since poor Sora was all WTF WHY DO WE LOOK LIKE THIS??? And I started laughing when the “I’m Sora/Donald/Goofy” line came when they were introducing themselves, cause some things never change ;P

it took me a minute to get used to the buttons (especially since you obviously couldn’t customize anything but the camera directions) and I kept accidentally using Shotlock and stuff LOL. BUUUUUT it was really fun once I got a sense of what I was doing! it was very smooth and fast and fun~

to me, battling feels like a combination of KH2, Birth by Sleep, and Dream Drop Distance. the coolest thing was that you could do a command (like Thundaga), and a reaction command would pop up. If you kept doing it, you could chain them together into one big ol’ massive attack - in my case, it was summoning the Mad Tea Cups!!! I GOT TO KILL HEARTLESS WITH A DISNEY RIDE LOL

what was also really fun was that you can switch Keyblades mid-battle!!! I had no idea what they all did, but I’m sure in the actual game they have different abilities like they do in most of the games. now you don’t have to choose just one mwhahaha~

towards the end of the Toy Story demo, you had to fight against an evil toy and got to drive around a robot and shoot lasers! PEW PEW PEW

one thing I really liked was how SMOOTH the animation was. idk if I just read a lot into it, but Sora’s always felt kinda.....clunky when he runs? maybe it’s his big feet lmao but in this demo, he felt MUUUUCH easier to handle. talking to other characters didn’t bring you into another screen, either, you just turned them and talked in real time. IT’S PRETTY GREAT

The Olympus demo felt shorter, probably because it was mostly a boss battle, but the coolest thing is that YOU CAN RUN UP WALLS HOLY CRAAAAAAP!!! I think they’ve showed this in trailers so I shouldn’t have been so surprised, but it was awesome :D

they had different magic options, and this time I managed to SUMMON A GIANT TRAIN HELL YEEEEEAHHHH~ I also managed to get some kind of Goofy limit and he destroyed a bunch of Heartless instantly, so that’s why Goofy rules okay

since I had a little more of grasp on the buttons and stuff, defeating the Titan was sorta easy 8D;; I’m sure they gave you stronger magic/abilities/Keyblades in these demos so it’ll probably be more difficult in the actual game - however, they didn’t really have any tutorial in the demo. They basically had a screen telling you how to run up walls and that was it.....and yet, the reaction commands and new battle system were easy to grasp (especially if you’re a seasoned player lol). I mean, yeah, a lot of it was just mashing the triangle button, but there’s also a certain finesse to chaining them together so that’ll be fun to discover~

The demos made me EVEN MORE HYPED FOR THE GAME THAN EVER!!!!!!! and even though we don’t have too long to wait, IT’S STILL GONNA TAKE FOREVER ALKSDJF;LWIEJF;LWIEJFWE I CAN’T WAIT TO PLAY IT AND I FEEL LIKE WE’RE ALL GONNA LOVE IT!!!!!!!

IS IT THE 29TH YET AHHHHHHHHHHHH

....if you made it this far down, thanks for reading 8D I feel like I’m back in 2007 making a LiveJournal post, with what all the images and captions and babbling lmao

12 notes · View notes

sarasa-cat · 6 years ago

Text

2k19. Maintaining my sense of chill.

My number one primary overriding goal for this year is maintaining my current sense of chill.

tl;dr: I am literally scheduling chillax fannish activities into my daily life (starting today) as key part of my chill maintenance routine.

Writing Monsters (FFVII: Vincent, Lucrecia, Yuffie, Cast) is still a high level priority.

Fandoms: FFVII, FFXII, other FF games, and the Persona series are still on the menu. Adding DA back in**. May add in a few other smaller fandoms for the sake of fanart and very short fiction.

Fic: Balancing EPIC FIC with flashfic + micro-fiction: Monsters is the epic. But I want to get back into writing very short fiction for short-fic communities on DW.

Art and Graphics: I have a fan art challenge that I have given myself (nervously bites nails, and a few prompt spots are still open) and I also want to spend some time on mood-boards and other graphics.

Stretch goal 1 - Meta: as time allows: finally do that Dirgepalooza. 2019 feels like the year to make it happen. ;)

Stretch goal 2 - Tidying, organizing, and republishing/reposting: After 12 years, my fan-mess is a mess. Content spread out all over the place: Livejournal, InsaneJournal, Fanfic.net, Dreamwidth, AO3, Tumblr. I want to tidy some day. Some day.... maybe this year.

Re: Adding DA back in. As much as I enjoyed DA:O and its collection of DLCs, I don’t know if I will ever have the patience to play that kind of game again, especially for a completionist PT that covers all DLCs. Maybe? TBD.

Replaying DA2 is easy and fun and enjoyable. Also, it runs on my small, portable work laptop! ^_^

DAI is on my larger, aging gaming machine (a lugtop). I have never done a completionist PT, I haven’t played the DLCs, and, TBH, I rushed through the end of game on my only “play to the end” PT. I have many inquisitors who are twiddling their thumbs in various locations of the world. As much as I enjoyed (and felt annoyed by) my main PT with the character who eventually became my “primary” inquisitor, that character ended up being one big shrug and ... and ... idk. It was fun while it lasted? SO, my goals for DAI as something that interests involve one of the following old goals from a few years ago:

Most likely: Restarting my Rozina Trevelyan PT and using it as inspo for creating aesthetics posts, mood-boards, graphics, and maybe some art, tbd. Flashfic on occasion.

Alternatively: Inquisitor Merrill. Because. Omg because. Again, aesthetics, mood-boards, graphics, and FLASHFIC. Obv, Merrill/Solas disastermance.

Alternate Alternative: Inquisitor Fenris. Because. Also, Dorianmance. Again, aesthetics, mood-boards, graphics, flashfic.

Alternative to Alternative: Inquisitor Isabela. :D

So much TBD on which I will do. Need to sort out all of my DA universes.

#personal goals #fandom goals #2k19

2 notes · View notes

sabulana · 7 years ago

Text

Fifteen Years of Fandom and Fanfiction

It has been fifteen years to the day since I posted my first fanfiction online.

Which is kind of. Wow.

Like really. Wow.

And now, because I get long and rambly at this point, the rest is under the read more

I never thought I would last this long. I was reading Final Fantasy 7 fic at the time, because that is one of my Forever Fandoms, my first real fandom, the one I can always return to and it just feels like home.

I admit, I wasn’t very good. I was fifteen. I hadn’t attempted writing any fanfiction before. It wasn’t my first attempt at writing, but it was the first thing I ever shared with anyone.

(The first thing I ever tried writing was a story about a talking hamster named Tallulah. It lacked any kind of plot structuring and I was basically just rambling on the page, but I loved it. Half of it is scrawled in pencil on wide-ruled pages, and the rest was typed on an old typewriter that everyone in the house could hear my using. My grandad used to stop in my room and ask when I was going to get published whenever he heard it.)

Anyway, this first fanfic I wrote is still up online. It’s still terrible. It’s short and badly written, and in the entire fifteen years it’s been up online, there have only been 524 hits recorded on Fanfiction.net and only 1 review, which was posted a couple years after the story went up online.

The story can be found here.

What followed after was what every teenage girl writing fanfiction does: creating OCs! I had a couple fics with a bunch of different OCs (girls and guys, but mostly girls, and mostly they were all the same) and I was trying to write them all at once and .... yeah, none of it went well. I’ve taken those stories down now, but I still have the email alerts of all the reviews. (I still do this. Even if my stories vanish from the internet, I will always have the feedback I got. That’s how much it means to me.)

I have a folder in my Yahoo email with 859 emails of reviews, good and bad, and another 107 reviews in my gmail account.

I remember people asking me questions about things they felt I should have included in the chapters, but that I was trying to wait to reveal until later. I remember being told there were too many characters to keep track of. I remember people being mean, and people trying to be helpful and people who liked it and encouraged me to keep at it.

I branched out into the Jak and Daxter fandom after that. More terrible writing, but my first attempts at romance, at ‘teh yaoi’, because it was 2004 and I was that kind of person. It’s embarrassing, but at least I know that now. (God. I’m so embarrassed by my past self. I feel I need to apologise for her constantly right now).

Jak and Daxter is another one of my home fandoms now. I made so many friends during the couple years I was so active in that fandom. I’ve lost track of most of the friends I made since. Some vanished altogether, some ventured into other fandoms and we grew apart, but I’ll never forget them. And of course, there’s my dearest @ecojak who I’m still friends will even now (love you bby!) and not to forget @pantlesswerewolf you were there too, right?

My experience of Jak and Daxter fandom was completely different to that I experienced in Final Fantasy 7 fandoms. For one, I had more contact with other writers. We had forums to talk on. We all reviewed each others fics and offered help and advice. There’s a chapter of what was one of my favourite J&D stories somewhere that’s dedicated to me as I was the mother-figure to all Jak/Torn writers, or something like that. I was 16 at the time, and I’m still incredibly touched by the gesture.

I also got banned from FFN a couple times, first because they decided that one of my series should have been a multi-chapter fic when I hadn’t intended it to be that way at first. It was just going to be a couple of one-shots. Then there were more. And then I got banned. :/ The second time was because I wrote a songfic and didn’t take it down when FFN banned songfics.

(Do people still do those? I have no idea. Oh well.)

Most of all though - I improved my writing. I kept at it. Even when people didn’t like what I was writing, other people did. More to the point, I enjoyed writing. I loved the games, and I wanted to show it by writing more stories, and sharing my love in that way.

I sort of faded out after a while though. I went on holiday for two weeks without internet, came back to find there had been some bullshit drama in my absence and... I don’t remember much of the rest,

I moved on.

I played new games, I read fanfiction in new fandoms. I contributed a bit. I stalled on writing fanfiction, but I was introduced to roleplaying on Livejournal. I’m still sad to have had to give that up, but I had a year of internet trouble and it just wasn’t possible to keep up. Now though, I don’t think I would throw myself into it again like I did before. It was a lot of fun, and it really helped me with things like character development and really getting into characters’ minds but it also consumed my free time completely. I did little else for years of my life.

But now I am an adult, and I must do Adult Things, like work and pay my mortgage and organise my wedding and shop for food because stocking the kitchen is now a thing I must do if I want to eat. (Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to wander into the kitchen and think ‘there’s nothing to eat’ in front of a fridge and cupboard full of ingredients I bought and then remember that I’m the moron who forgot to buy snacks? Ugh...)

But fandoms keep calling me. I still write fanfiction, even after 15 years. I make friends and read awesome stories that are posted online for free because other people around the world want to share their ideas and love for these games, books, movies, tv shows, whatever - just that same as I do. I keep improving, too. Compare my latest story with my first. The difference is obvious. The difference is why that embarrassing first story is still online - a marker of how far I’ve come.

And yeah, there’s plenty of stuff out there that’s better than the stuff I’m writing now after all my improvements. But I know I wouldn’t be anywhere near as good as I am now (at least, compared to that first story, yes?) if I had given up. If I had let a few bad reviews drive me away. If I let people tell me that fanfiction was just a waste of time - why do something if you’re not making money off it, after all?

I have started my own original novel though. I’m putting 15 years of writing practice into it. I’m putting in all my years of reading and learning from example into it. It’s not finished yet, and it’s not perfect, but it’s better than my rambling story about Tallulah the Talking Hamster, and I would never have considered even attempting to write it if not for fanfiction.

My point in all this? I’m a 30 year old woman who is not ashamed of writing fanfiction, who is glad to write fanfiction, and is really quite proud of how far I’ve come in terms of skill right now. I mean, yeah, who doesn’t have wobbles of self-confidence, but that’s why I’ve kept every single review alert I’ve ever received in my inbox.

So if anyone out there reading this is just starting out in fandom - any fandom - go take a look at that first fic. Maybe you think you write better. Maybe you think you could write better, if only you weren’t afraid to try. Maybe you do write better, and you’ve never written a story before in your life. My point is - do it. Even if you think you’ll fail. Even if you get some negative feedback. Write, and keep writing. Draw, and keep drawing. Make cosplays and edit videos and do whatever it is you do and don’t stop. Because you’ll never get better if you stop.

#writing #fanfiction #fandom #would really appreciate this being read #though i'm sorry for the length #it's a little personal #but i wanted to get this off my chest #i got sappy at the end #sorry about that

8 notes · View notes

summoners-path · 8 years ago

Text

knowing your partner well makes writing together a lot easier. tag this with the people you enjoy roleplaying with but want to get to know better. REPOST. don’t reblog !!

TAGGED BY: @fcyth ( thank u! ) TAGGING: i’m uh just gonna tag the first few people in my activity: @notionsandhellebore, @dreamzanarkands, @legendaryturk, @the-lonely-soul, @lunarxmaiden !!

BASICS:

❥ NAME: i tend to go by hedge these days. but i’m fine with just muse names, too. i went by b-chan for the longest time as he was my only muse and i’m still rather fond of it. :3 ❥ AGE: old enough, i guess. i can stop aging anytime now. that’d be swell. ❥ PREFERRED PRONOUNS: people tend to go by the muse and that’s fine by me. ❥ SEXUALITY: lol. ❥ ZODIAC SIGN: i’m a sun-sign gemini with my moon in pisces.

THREE FACTS:

i’m actually really musically talented. it’s a shame that i don’t put more time into the skill. i should. i can play pretty much anything i pick up and i’m great at improvising. i just... don’t like to perform so it’s always felt a waste to spend time on it, just for me.

in general, i love household chores. now, no one loves to scrape the dust out of crown molding. but i love tidying. i love vacuuming and laundry. i like dusting and rearranging things. i like organizing. honestly, anything but dishes, i’m on it.

i really don’t keep up on popular culture. i don’t watch a lot of tv. i’m not big on movies. i’m even really selective about what video games i buy. i just... don’t really care to keep up with that sort of thing. if it’s something i’ll like, i’m sure i’ll hear about it... and without having to sort through all the stuff i won’t.

EXPERIENCE:

❥ HOW LONG (MONTHS/YEARS?): a long time, i think. i’m well into my twenties and i started when i was maybe? twelve or so? i’ve changed my method a lot over the years, but never dropped rp completely. ❥ PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: i started with table-top games ( yes, like d&d! ) and then moved to online forums, instant messengers and livejournal. there was a brief period where i went back to more in-person type stuff. but, then, i found tumblr. ❥ WORST EXPERIENCE: dark souls. i love the games; i hate the fandom. ❥ BEST EXPERIENCE: here. i say this for a lot of reasons tbh. it might actually make a good story sometime, when i feel up to telling it. but this blog has, quite literally, changed my life.

MUSE PREFERENCES:

❥ TYPICAL MUSE GENDER: until i started writing on tumblr, i almost always wrote men. i’ve branched out, though! my multi-muse is mostly women and that’s been fun. ❥ FAVORITE FACE: unpopular opinion here, but i actually despise faceclaims for the most part. i think it takes away from a huge part of the fun... that being using your imagination. suddenly, i’m forced into seeing an actual person who is almost always famous and tied to something else. it’s jarring for me. so, in general, i just... prefer to stay away. ❥ LEAST FAVORITE FACE: ❥ MULTI OR SINGLE: both. this is my only single-muse and i have a multi for everyone else.

WRITING PREFERENCES:

❥ FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: fluff and angst are equal in my book and both are right up there with just general conversation. i know that might seems boring but i honestly like exploring the so-called mundane as someone else. i think it’s healthy and tends to be the majority of what i do. it’s really fun. i guess, then, that means i like crack too as nothing says crack like a series of bad jokes between characters over some tea. as for smut, i like it but i don’t write it very often at all. i’m not very good and i’m also just not comfortable with it in general. i’ll only write it with people i know well ooc. ❥ PLOTS OR MEMES: both. i like the healthy balance. ❥ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: again, both. i tend to hold up longer threads longer, but i love short ones too. they’re satisfying as they can be finished in a few days instead of a few months. ❥ BEST TIME TO WRITE: morning, usually before 11am. yes, i’m crazy. i know. ❥ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE: ha. he’s not a self-insert; he certainly didn’t start that way. but we do have a lot in common and tend to have more and more as time goes on. and, honestly, i think that’s the reason i’ve been able to sustain and expand upon him for so long. they say the best writers write what they know and i know him well. we’ve learned a lot from each other.

#memes;#outoftea;#fcyth #thank u for tagging me!#also omg #if u ever wanna rp with me just drop in and scream like #HEY #:3

9 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 8 years ago

Text

Survey #67

“i wanna grow up, i wanna be, a big rockin’ roll star!”

did you pay attention to anything you were being taught in health class? i always listened, yeah, but it scared me a lot because my anxiety around that time was mostly health-focused. i was afraid i was going to get everything somehow lmao. what are your feelings regarding shopping? i like shopping for myself, but not for vitals. like grocery shopping, nah man. shopping for stuff like clothes, bueno. do you think people have any misconceptions about you? i'm not certain about many things, but i am certain about that. have you ever worn fishnets? no, but dey sexy. do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? occasionally i'll go to get them done, and the woman who does them is actually my hairdresser. do you believe prayer really works? boy, isn't this relevant to some things going on... the answer is, i don't know, but i'm leaning towards "only if god for whatever fucking reason deems you more worthy than someone else who's prayed for something for a fucking year but i don't want her to have that." the people whose prayers come true just seem so fucking cherry-picked. do you have one best friend who is always there for you? apparently not. only when she agrees my issues are "valid." describe one of your most emotional farewells. well, the one that affected me the most was certainly when jason left, but it wasn't the most emotional in that moment of all my farewells. the one i would define as most emotional was when my lizard shadow died. he was old (i had him most of my life) and wasn't moving much, but i finally realized he was dying. it was so. fucking. slow. and he was obviously in agony the last day (yes, this shit lasted days), as he kept writhing and opening his mouth to gulp in air... oh my god, i don't even like talking about it. i sobbed and sobbed and talked to him so much, and any time i sat by his cage, he always looked at me. he was such a sweet little boy. have you ever been tied up? no. i really don't know how i'd feel about that. how many times have you been cussed out? online, PLENTY. irl, i only remember one occasion. does it bother you when people ask personal questions? who's asking? do you know anyone who’s been in jail? i do. have you ever considered acupuncture? noooo. have you ever watched the same sex undress? she undressed in front of me, but i didn't watch her. have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? i've seen him tear up, but never totally cry. have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? my dad's a recovering alcoholic, so i saw him drunk a lot. i'm pretty sure i've seen mom drunk once, but she denies being drunk. do you enjoy mario games? not particularly, but i mean, i'd play something like mario kart for family fun. do you think that necessities should be free? (ex. food, toilet paper) hm. debatable. does it bother you when dogs lick you? no, unless they're licking my face. do you feed your pets human food? occasionally. which is worse: being sexist or racist? oh jeez. do you think suicide is selfish? i mean, yeah, it is, but if this makes sense, it's not a damnable kind of selfish? like you truly are thinking about yourself and not how it would affect others, but sometimes, y'know, you need to think about yourself. i'm not saying suicide is ever necessary, but i understand why it happens. would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? heh, probably. what are the most embarrassing songs in your itunes library? lmao i think i have one taylor swift song. OMG I DO IT'S "PICTURE TO BURN" KILL ME. how picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? VERYVERYVERY. i have to be sincerely interested in you. do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? i'm sure you've heard this enough in my surveys, but never had sex, done sexual things. but i mean sure, doing things in places other than the bed was usually more fun, but i ALWAYS felt way, WAY more vulnerable and paranoid. in your opinion, is it ever okay to get back with an ex? of course it is. people change/learn. what's the first animal you go to see at the zoo? it would be a meerkat if my zoo still had them, buuut... what's the strangest or rarest creature you've seen at a zoo? a white (not albino) alligator! o: what animal is at a zoo that really, in your opinion, shouldn't be? oh, i'm sure there's many if i was more knowledgeable about this subject. do you like zoos or aren't you bothered? i have mixed emotions. i offer you a cigarette, you say... "no thanks." why do you think you were put on this earth? i go back and forth between god planned me very intricately and uniquely to my parents just decided they wanted a kid. is it ever okay to hit a child? when is this? NO. YOU DO NOT. TEACH YOUR CHILD. THROUGH FEAR. do you think violence in video/computer games influences the nation also? oh boy, this question. no. it doesn't. pretty sure we didn't have video games since humanity began, and we've had violence since the start. are you in any shape or form, racist? no, i'm not. are you in any shape or form, sexist? no, i'm not. how do you think the world will end? the world itself, or humanity? humanity will end whenever god feels like it. the earth itself, well, i guess if it explodes somehow. what natural phenomenon do you find the most beautiful? WHAAAAAAT, I HAVE TO PICK ONE?! would you kill someone who killed a child? how about YOUR child? i know without a doubt you killed a child, mine especially, i kill you. what is your favorite cover of a song? "hurt" by johnny cash. bar none. have you ever been in love with someone who was fatally ill? holy fuck, thank god no. have you ever received or given a make-over? ... oh god... yeah... i gave jason a make-over lmfao and got him to pose for a picture after like 30 minutes of pestering him. i'd show the picture, but i have too much respect for him ha ha ha. do you know anyone who is HIV+? not to my knowledge. have you ever been to a desert? nope. do you know any trans* people? not irl what is your favorite beatles song? "hey jude." i'm honestly not a big beatles fan whatsoever. what is the poorest you have ever been? probably now, really... i'm sure you know of the gamer fad on youtube. who's your favorite? markiplier! is there something written on your shirt right now? "we're all mad here" what is your favorite song to play on guitar hero or rock band? "king nothing" by metallica!! \m/ where do you find the surveys you take? as of right now, i've been getting my surveys from a lad over at livejournal who has a good 2k surveys stockpiled up. i'll occasionally pick some up from tumblr, too. if i'm truly desperate, i'll just google search and find random webpages. what's one weird/annoying thing your pet(s) tend to do? OMGGGGGG YAAAAAAA'LLLLLL. okay so my dog teddy has this super weird habit of, totally out of the blue, trying to climb onto me and lie directly over my face. like i have to physically hold him back to stop him, and he still fights against me to try and get on me. i haven't the slightest idea why he does it, but it's super annoying... i always have to bring him to his room so he'll stop and calm down. what's your favorite song by your favorite artist? YOU SHOULD NOOOOT BE ASKING ME THIS QUESTION OH GOD. i have a very, very difficult time picking favorite songs. i'll go through my fave artists regardless though and try... ozzy osbourne: probably "trapdoor." metallica: oh god. uhhh. "king nothing," i assume. otep: eeeeek!! i really, really love "special pets" and "apex predator" like the same!! marilyn manson: yikes. errr. "heart-shaped glasses," maybe. WAIT. "angel with the scabbed wings," perhaps. cradle of filth: i guess their cover of "mr. crowley." rammstein: "donaukinder," pretty easily this time. a day to remember: "i'm made of wax, larry, what're you made of?" fuckin' rocks!! do you have an "original character?" well, as a forum role-player since i think 2007, i think last time i counted, i have over 200, lmao. and yes, i'm attached to them all too much to kill off half of them. fuck my life rip rip rip. what about a persona/fursona? ye, ozzkat. do you ever MAKE your own surveys? not an entire survey, no, but once in a blue moon i'll think of a question i think's really good and add it onto a survey. why's it the woman who have to give birth anyway if the man is physically stronger in most cases? i mean, besides the obvious, are you asking why it was ever made this way to begin with? *shrugs* who really knows? do you get good internet there? nnnnnope. it goes out pretty frequently. ever had a cavity? how many? i sure have, but idk how many. ever broken a tooth? indeed. when i passed out as i was scrambling out of the shower because i felt dizzy, i landed dead on my chin. a good number of my molars shattered. the feeling of all those broken fragments in my mouth when i woke up... ewwwww. ;D; for a while, they went untreated as they were not causing much issue. eventually though, they needed to be filled, i think because the microscopic cracks that were formed were expanding. it could've ruined those teeth. what did you do on the playground at your school as a child? for a long, long time, i mainly swung if there were any swings open. it was the one thing i actually enjoyed doing outside. in my older elementary school years, i actually started a trend, ha ha: digging tunnels with our hands in the sand pit. idk why exactly i liked doing it, but i did. my friends and i would always be the weirdos digging the entire time we were outside. i remember once we made a pretty intricate system. are you into comics? no, i don't read them, but i still sometimes enjoy who the subject is. ex. i like batman, but i've never read his comics once. would you ever like to work on a farm? i would not. i don't like outdoor labor, honestly. did you ever have computer disc games you played as a kid? sure did! we had "putt-putt," "freddy the fish," "i spy spooky mansion," "odell down under," "oregon trail," i personally had vet-oriented games, and i remember there was one about going up the amazon river, and it was the third in the series. that one was my all-time favorite. OH OH OH! and i had this wicked cool dinosaur game that taught you about various dinosaurs and looked sooo realistic!! what do you think of people who have therapists? i think they're brave as fuck to admit they have a problem and need help??? like what else would i think??? do you have any of those adult coloring books? i do. i don't use 'em a lot, though. don't enjoy coloring like i used to. ever ridden an elephant? no, but that'd be REALLY cool. deserts: dreary or beautiful? beautiful!!! ever seen a panda? i don't believe i have, even in a zoo. what kind a camera do you have? nikon d3200 do you have stretch marks? where? don't be shy, they're tiger stripes! i'm much convinced they're not tiger stripes. all they tell you is i'm overweight, not that i'm a warrior. and honestly, the better question is where don't i have stretch marks. i gained weight way too fucking fast when jason left, so... they're kinda all over the place. they're fucking gross and i've tried so hard to get rid of them using bio oil (which was working, but we don't have the money to keep buying) and another cream that doesn't do much. ugh. lobsters: cool or scary? both. they're honestly pretty creepy, but i do believe they're still quite cool, too. opposoms: total vermin or cute? CUTE AS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK what tv channel dominated your childhood? ha ha animal planet!!! if nicole was picking what to watch it'd be disney channel, but me, animal planet. (: it's such a shame how much animal planet has changed, though... now it's all about people and how to survive a fucking animal attack... ever actually seen a snake in the wild? here in the rural south, plenty of times. i have two noteworthy occasions, though. once, when i was being dropped off at home from school by a family friend, we stopped short because of something in the driveway. my sisters and i got out of the car to see a rattlesnake- a HUGE one- curled up, head raised, hissing, and rattling its tail vigorously. we called for our mom and dad, who came outside and immediately called somebody; i don't recall who, but they were not going to harm the snake. they came quickly and, with a shovel i think, moved the snake to the large tobacco field right across the road of our house. the snake was quite compliant, i was surprised. second, also many years ago, i was taking a walk and found a pretty small snake in the middle of the road, which is just a gravel path. it didn't want to move, but it seemed perfectly alive and healthy. i couldn't identify the species, but i don't think it was venomous. regardless though, i refused to be stupid and touch it, but i still stayed by it and directly a car once around the snake because i didn't want it run over. my friend came over, however (they were whom i got around the snake), so i abandoned the serpent and went home to play. after she left, i went to check on the snake, and he'd been run over. :( i was sincerely sad. have you ever had a PET snake? what kind? i've had two! my first ever was a ball python named mona lisa, and wow... i never knew it was POSSIBLE to love a snake so dearly. i mean, "it's just a snake," right? no, she was family. she was going to play a big part in my senior project actually, but she sadly died due to the pet store's own negligence (there was a tick on her when we adopted her, and it apparently made her ill). after mona, i adopted another snake quite a while later; it was too young to distinguish gender, so i gave it a neutral name: cato. it too was a ball python, and we had little cato for a very short period of time... it never deficated, and when it passed and its tailbase swole up, we took its corpse right to petsmart because i had a feeling they were to blame. again. apparently, we'd adopted a sick snake: something was wrong with its bowels, no doubt, and the employee assumed it had to do with bacteria. i absolutely refuse to ever adopt a reptile from petsmart or petco ever again; they just don't treat their reptiles and rodents (i've got a gooood story about rats...) like family in my frank opinion. i've located a ball python morph breeder instead, and i plan on adopting from him very, very soon. (: ever had an encounter with a snapping turtle? they're scary! ha ha ha omg guys my older sister ashley once fished up a HUGE snapping turtle!! it was liiivid! i can't remember how my dad did it, but he got it off suuuuuper-duper carefully. wait, or maybe he just cut the line, i don't remember. do you like oatmeal? eh, i have to be in the mood, and it needs JUST the right amount of milk or it's too liquidy. i also only eat it with milk, not water. wherever you live, have you ever seen your national bird? i have once in the wild! :D i live in north america, so it was the bald eagle. it was SO BIG. ever had a reptile as a pet that you had to feed crickets? did you ever pick up the crickets? i sure have: a chinese water dragon lizard named shadow. for a very long time, i couldn't touch the crickets, no. eventually though, i would pick 'em up and drop them into the cage. later in shadow's life though, it was much easier (and convenient for him) to just dump the whole bag of them into his terrarium. it was so cute how he'd get so excited every single time he saw a cricket! i miss him. :( ever play hearthstone? i have, but only to get the "i won three games" mount in world of warcraft, lmao. it's an okay game, but i don't love it. i'm not the best with tactic games like that. ever gone hunting? biggest thing you've ever shot? i do not go hunting, no, i can't stand the idea of killing an animal for sport. my little sister does sometimes, though. i don't think she's been in a few years, however. coolest place you've ever been hunting? n/a. how about fishing? biggest thing you've ever caught? heeeeeell yeah, man! been fishing since i was a little girl! :D i never keep anything i catch though: i kiss my hand, touch the fish's head with it, and gently place it back into the water from whence it came. i caught my biggest many summers ago while catfishing one night... i hooked a blue catfish in the eye. whoooops. o.o; i ended up catching it, and it was huuuuge! wish i had the picture dad took to show you guys. with its size, dad said i could certainly keep the fish to cook up for dinner, but i said no, to let him go. watching dad take the hook out though was horrid; the fish ended up losing its eye. :( so i called him "'ole one-eye," hehe. 'ole one-eye was just fine when he got back in the water, thank goodness. i almost caught something i KNOW was even bigger once, though. same fishing spot, catfishing again. fought with it for a while, and holy SHIT i wish i'd seen how big it was. ended up breaking my line pretty quickly. i wanna go catfishing again. :( coolest place you've ever been fishing? i've never been fishing outside north carolina, and not far from home, either, so i haven't really been anywhere necessarily "cool." there's two places i consider quite interesting, though. the catfishing spot, for one, is at a dam. i don't know what about it, it's just real cool there. the second spot, though, is much more wild. it's in the middle of shitfucknowhere and you have to brave through some pretty thick woods to get to the river. It's also connected to a dam, but you can't see it from where you fish. it's a great place to fish for striper. boy, is it pretty there, too... wish i had pictures. i love how untouched it is. i watched a mink, i think it was, dive into the water once. this fishing talk is making me so nostalgic! which is cooler: african or asian elephant? i wouldn't say one's "cooler" than the other, but i find an african elephant to be more proportional with the size of its ears. the asian elephant's ears look too small. craziest thing you've ever eaten? i honestly don't think i've ever eaten anything considered strange. i'm VERY picky and don't really risk much with food. i mean i guess the "weirdest" thing was i took the smallest, smallest bite out of deer jerky once. what's in a camel's back? fat. it's not water, if that's what you wanted me to say. do you believe in any cryptids? i think i do, yes. there's just been too, too many sightings, and i don't believe that many people are liars. i think i believe in sasquatch, chupacabra (not the "omg it drinks blood" bullshit, but the coyote/??? mixed creature), the dover demon, mothman, hellhounds/the many ghostly hounds people have seen in the world, olitiau if i spelled that correctly, i'm iffy with the jersey devil, and i'm sure i'm forgetting some i think are plausible... i am VERY interested in learning about any cryptid. i mean c'mon, a good portion of our world is entirely undocumented! who knows what's out there! "lost tapes" was my shit back in the day, until like the last season where everything looked too fake. steve irwin: foolish for messing around with animals or brave for teaching us? steve irwin was anything but a fool. he was an inspiration for all us people who love and are fascinated by animals. he was my teacher, despite never meeting him. he put his safety aside to teach the world about creatures big and small so we could respect and honor them. god bless that man, and may he rest in peace. you were and still are my hero. what do you think of people who put their whole life on social media? some things need to be kept quite, sure. like i'm not gonna go on facebook and proclaim, "i just had sex boiz!!" or "just took a shit, ya'll!" some things, keep a mystery. your whole life isn't everyone else's business, you know? if you post a lot, i have no issue with that, just know your boundaries. don't you think it's a bit deceptive to wear a push-up bra? no??? is wearing certain pants to make ya dick look bigger deceptive, too??? perhaps some people are more comfortable with the cushioning. or maybe they could only find their size as push-up. or, just maybe, a woman likes to feel better about herself. do you truly believe we came from chimps? why? no, i don't. and i have a plethora of reasons, but the underlying belief of mine is that it's just implausible and i don't believe our body can "pick" the "right" trait to pass on to increase odds of survival. to believe we all came from one organism just seems... very unlikely. well, what do you think of extra bones and even organs in our bodies? why do we have them? if you're talking about the appendix, it actually does have a use. it's vital to survival in the fetal stage. I don't remember what it does, though... extra bones, i can't entirely tell you with certainty. my own sister had an extra bone in her hand, gross stuff... i like to think of them as god fooling around in the sims creation page *wink* if you could choose anyone to be your mother, who would it be? i honestly don't think in any case i'd want another mom. if you could choose anyone to be your father, who would it be? ... i honestly want to say james hetfield, but i think incest might be a problem because fuckshittits i'd fuck him and he's in his 50s kill me pls end this madness. weirdest video game you've ever played? hmmm. i personally don't think i've ever played a "weird" game. the first "silent hill" is pretty damn whacky, but far more in a scary sense than weird. it just really throws everything you've ever thought about the world into chaos. we're having a pig-pickin'! whatcha eating? oh god... i hate those... please no... D: ever been on a scary hay ride? i have indeed, at the old church-oriented cheerleading and basketball place ever been to a castle? i have n- wait! i've been in cinderella's castle in disney world! :D what's your favorite kind of penguin? i think they're called emperor penguins. they look very majestic but silly simultaneously! whales. should they be allowed in sea world? i don't think so, honestly. if so, they'd need a WAY bigger aquarium than i remember seeing them in... ever seen an albino? whether it be human or animal? pretty sure i've seen albino mice, but that's it, i think. what do you think of the song "miss jackson" by panic! at the disco? good song very good a++ what is the wallpaper on your best friends cell phone? i'm pretty sure her lock screen is she and her husband, and her home screen is a bible quote. do you feel comfortable singing in front of others? nope, no one. do you like using big words when you talk? if i believe this word to be more descriptive/accurate when explaining something, sure? do you EVER use caps lock? yes, i do, for emphasis. i'm extremely passionate and talk exactly how i type, so there's gotta be emphasis!! are you loud when you’re having sex? i wouldn't know, but i was always quiet doing sexual things because i was sooo nervous about being loud, even if no one was around. have you ever wanted to drop out of school? definitely. i was suicidal in high school partially because of school, and i really considered it in order to potentially save myself (i ended up having to drop all but one class when the issue was brought to my principal). i did drop out of college. when was the last time you watched south park? well over a year ago. i watched it with jason occasionally, he enjoyed it. are you italian? i am not. are you interested in photography at all? well, i'm hoping to be a photographer, so. any survey takers that annoy you on tumblr? not at all. there are some whose answers i disagree with very much, but honestly, every survey taker i've seen seem pretty cool. do you like bob marley? OH MY GOOOOOD NO I HATE HIS VOICE can you talk to your parents about anything without them judging or bickering at you? i don't think so, honestly. are you interested in art? very much so. don't you think we're spending too much money on exploring the mere theory of climate change? lmao who made this, donald trump??? no. climate change is important as fuck and if we keep this shit up, could very well end or nearly decimate humanity. everyone always wants to know your favorite animal. what's your SECOND favorite? probably rhesus macaques. very mischievous and social. who’s your favorite disney character? probably mulan, but i have no real preference. have you ever taken the eharmony personality quiz? YES AND I HAD ZERO MATCHES GG do you take vitamins? if so, what kinds? not anymore, no. how much was your prom dress? what’s the most you’d spend? i'm not sure how much either of them costs... and i really don't know how much i'd pay, but not too much, i mean, it's just prom. would you marry someone of a different religion? depends on the religion, really. like some religions have beliefs i would never respect, such as some religions believe the woman is far lesser than the man. i wouldn't marry someone with those beliefs. how did you learn the word “fuck”? school, i'm sure. if you could make one of your enemies your best friend, who would it be? why would i want to be friends with my enemy, as anyone who i consider my enemy is obviously so for a reason? what is the last movie you saw in theaters? trolls. soooo cute. (: have you ever got into a wreck? i've been in an accident, not a wreck, i'd say. do you think you are an argumentative person? no. to avoid confrontation, i usually just keep my opinion to myself to avoid this whole issue. can you admit when you’re wrong? i'm quick to admit that honestly. i doubt myself. are you easily confused? VERY VERY VERY do you think you would make a good wife/husband? i hope... have you ever caught a butterfly? omg i forgot this story... a few days after jason left (it may have even been the next day, i don't recall), i found a yellow-and-black, crippled butterfly. i tried so hard to nurse it back to health, but it was useless, it was going to and did die. i buried it in my back yard among crysanthemums (i probably murdered spelling that). honestly, part of me getting my semicolon butterfly tattoo relates to that butterfly. have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? no, that sounds... really wrong. do you like being kissed on the neck? if you want your clothes ripped off, sure. favorite song by the band the offspring? uh-oh, i'm not sure! i reeeaaally love "why don't you get a job" and "pretty fly for a white guy" about the same. how many times each morning do you press the snooze button? i never use an alarm, so. when you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? fries because i'm a fat american what video game or computer game are you best at? am i best at? idk, really. how do you normally come across new music? youtube's recommendations what subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? it depends on what you want to do in your future, really. they all have purpose, just not for everyone. do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? i wouldn't say i "enjoy" them, but i'll usually get excited a bit for like a minute just because something different is going on. are you pretty politically correct? yes and no. have you ever behaved like a stalker? ... i think so, honestly. do you appreciate other people’s opinions? appreciate, yes. it's part of what makes us unique. if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be? *shrugs* do you care what’s going on in the world? i'm one of the idiots that lives on it, duh i do. how many partners is too many? having any more than one do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose? yeah, ensure there's no blood or anything. do you prefer boys to shave down there? no preference. whatever they're comfortable with. how much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? all she knows is i almost had sex once but didn't. i talked to her about it because i felt VERY guilty. are any of your siblings married? what are their spouse’s names? only ashley is married, and her husband's name is nick. have you ever had a pet bird? no, i wish. how many times have you moved in your lifetime? i've moved twice. if you could get one piercing and one tattoo, where would you want them? piercing, labret. one tattoo... ohhhh man... i think it'd still probably be what i'm starting next: the painting "denialism" by da's tatchit on my right upper arm. it doesn't have a personal meaning to me, honestly, i just think it's fucking awesome. would you consider yourself to be adventurous? depends, really. what're the risks of what i'm doing? has any part of your house ever been flooded? no, only our yard. is there anyone that you're worried about right now? who and why? well, jason is the obvious. i always worry about him, whether or not he's happy and moreso if he's being loved enough... because i can guaranfuckingtee ashley will never love him like i do. if you won a lot of money, would you donate any of it? to what organization would you donate it? i'm sure i would, but idk where. describe the best friend you've ever had, or the best person you've ever known. jason, quite easily. he was both my boyfriend and best friend. he just kinda... changed one day. have you ever adopted a stray animal? MANY cats, yes. if you were seriously ill and couldn't find the necessary help or treatment in your home country, would you ever travel abroad to get treatment, expenses aside? who wouldn't, honestly? what time did you wake up this morning? i'm woke 24/7, motherfucker. ever wonder if you’re someone’s everything? i have. apparently, i wasn't. would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde? i actually kinda want to, but it's another hair color mom won't allow. my hair is like supremely healthy and she doesn't want me to ruin it. what is your mom’s middle name? marie do you know the color of your ex boyfriend/girlfriend’s eyes? yes, a very mellow dark brown. have you had your wisdom teeth out? no, but it looks to be inevitable soon. your appendix? nope, i still have it.

#survey #quiz #questions #asks #answered

1 note · View note