#this was fun enough but i'm not super happy with it. hope i keep improving!!!

[ozonecologne]

putting the "chapel" in chappell roan!

I loved this look of hers for Hinterland, so I did a quick and dirty portrait collection! ~6 hours, painted in Photoshop

[sungtaro]

do u have any advice for making gfx? i really like yours and your concepts are always so creative

ahh, thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me 🥹 i'm really hard on myself about my gfx. but i absolutely love making them, and i'd love to share some advice with you! i'm not sure if you already make gfx or not, so i'll include some things about getting started along with general advice / stuff geared to someone who already has some experience so that hopefully, wherever you are in your journey, something here might be helpful. i hope i'm not just giving you info you already know JBDJB 😭 so feel free to come back and let me know if you need something different ... if you have specific questions about a particular set or anything else like that, i always welcome that too! this got long, so i'll put it below the cut.

1. getting started - i'll write this point assuming you've never made a gfx before, so if you have, feel free to skip it! the only program i use is photoshop for gfx. and the main thing with these that i didn't know at first is that you can (and should) use a bigger canvas than what you would for gifs ! my typical size for a gfx panel is somewhere around 1080x1200 px. if you are placing gifs anywhere in them, you will likely have to resize down to meet tumblr file size limits. - some things that you should know how to do in ps: creating a clipping mask, rasterizing/resizing, smart filters, eyedropper tool, and different blending techniques such as overlays. if any of these things sound like 'omg what???' (they did to me as a beginner) let me know and i'm happy to explain more! - for total beginners, my biggest recommendation is to start by using templates. this helps you get a feel for what layers go into a gfx in the styles that you like, and makes it easier to start making some cool things and boost your confidence before you feel comfortable starting entirely from scratch and developing your own style. you can search 'psd template' here on tumblr, or on deviantart (i'll talk more about sites i use to find things below). just make sure you read each creator's own rules before you use something. i also make templates! you can find them here. i don't require credit and you can edit mine basically however you want, aside from combining them with other templates.

2. finding inspiration aside from things i see right here on tumblr, source material that just really speaks to me, or ideas that pop into my head while i'm driving (seriously ... almost all my gfx ideas come to me while i'm in my car or out taking a walk 😂), my favorite places to look for inspo are behance and deviantart (both of which are also great for finding elements you can use for free!). usually i have at least a baseline idea before i go into any gfx, so i know what to search for to find some design ideas -- for example, 'yearbook design,' 'retro advertisement,' 'lyric poster,' 'zine,' 'y2k,' 'film photo story,' etc are all things i've searched before. if i have used a source for inspiration, it will always be linked in my caption, so definitely take a look if there are any in particular that you love to see that inspo source! (as a general note, you should always link back to your own inspiration sources, it's just the right thing to do)

3. my process (from idea into photoshop) once i have an idea and i've gathered some inspiration, i usually sketch out my basic layout idea into a notebook. with gfx, composition is something you need to keep in mind within each individual panel as well as the set as a whole. i think about what i want the main focus to be and what basic elements i want in each panel. then i will start gathering my resources and start getting things in photoshop! often, i don't really know what it's going to look like until i start putting it together. that's kind of half the fun though. throughout making most of my gfx, i consult at least one friend on layout, colors, etc especially if i'm not liking something or i'm just stuck and don't know what would make it better. i HIGHLY recommend getting feedback and utilizing other sets of eyes to get your best quality work. i know there are some things i just can't possibly think of on my own, especially when i've been thinking about and looking at something for way too long. once my panels are finished i export them as a png and arrange them on tumblr to see the whole thing together before i post!

4. finding elements i.e. fonts, textures, pngs, etc again, behance and deviantart are great places for this! on behance, it's best to search 'freebie' with what you're looking for because otherwise all the options may be stuff you have to pay for. but they have SO many textures, pngs, fonts, any resource you can think of. with deviantart, be mindful of people who just compile texture/png packs from other sources/artists, because that's basically impossible to properly credit (and you really should do your best to do that). but DA is a great source for things like brushes and hand-drawn elements, and templates too! again, just be sure to read all of op's rules before using their resources. -places to find fonts: behance, fontspace, dafont, and ofc google! -places to find free pngs/icons (i use these for all of my social media templates and more): flaticon -photos you can use for free are available on unsplash -mockups you can use for free are available on behance, unblast, and pixel surplus

5. other important bits - as i've mentioned a few times throughout CREDIT is so important when you are using other people's resources, and using anyone else's work as your inspiration. i always credit when required and often credit even when not required, and just in general always try to mention where i find all my resources especially for sets that i've used a lot of different things for. of course, we can only do our best with this, and i've definitely made mistakes or just lost where i found something in the process of making things, so just have good intentions and try to do what you can to ensure you're giving credit where it's due - it also helps other people find things that they can use for their own work! - don't be afraid to experiment and try things out, i think really what i love so much about gfx is that there are literally infinite possibilities, styles, and ways to improve. keep an open mind and know that nothing is out of your range if you can find the right resources. happy creating, and please know i'm available to talk about anything you have questions on, or if you want to utilize me for feedback !! <3

[shipmansflannels]

in the heights | natalie scatorccio x reader

hey! I'm back! I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long, really. but I'm happy with the engagement and the new followers here on the blog, welcome everyone and I hope you like my stories below. I haven't made the masterlist yet, but as soon as I do, I'll pin it to organize it better. this first oneshot is super cute, I hope you like it. I'm also not going to open requests for now, but I'll leave my ask open in case you want to send me messages and interact through it too! thanks for following along! enjoy!

sorry for any grammatical or coherence errors, english is not my first language and I'm trying to improve!

------------------------------------------

in the heights | natalie scatorccio x reader

-> prompt: you and natalie at a ferris wheel. but it gets stuck. <-

warnings: non cannon, no crash, most fem!reader but it works for gender neutral readers too, natalie having a soft side, a lot of swear words, very cliché and gay.

***

"I already told you I don't want to go. That's for children."

You laugh, watching Natalie blow out the last of her cigarette and use her worn-out sneakers to crush it on the floor. The two of you are leaning against a street light, but you're more focused on the popcorn that's almost gone and the noise of the kids screaming behind you, enjoying the huge roller coaster, or the carousel, or yelling for their mom to buy more tokens to hit the clown's mouth and win a damn stuffed bear.

It's your last year before heading off to college, but you're not old enough to enjoy the rare amusement park event when the mayor is in a good mood, which is why you make a point of not only inviting Natalie, but the rest of the girls on the team.

The difference is that you're not as close to them as you are to the platinum blonde who's snorting as she's being bumped into by a four-foot-tall boy who's running after another boy whose height you haven't yet identified.

"Oh, please, it's just going to be a single ride. I really want to see the city from up there", you insist, using your best whining voice, to try to convince Natalie to join you on the ferris wheel. She rolls her eyes as you shove another handful of popcorn into your mouth. "Then we can go on the ghost train, since you want to be that frightened."

"You know I hate the ferris wheel, (Y\N), no way."

Natalie was always closed off about her feelings and desires - and unless it had to do with addictions, cigarettes and drugs, you'd never guess any of the things she was passionate about. Of course, you knew about her problems with her father, her terrible relationship with her mother and how much she wanted to buy a trailer in the park closest to her school so she wouldn't have to live with this nightmare again, but otherwise, none of Natalie's fears were obvious to you.

So it was fun to hear her complain, in her usual grumpy mood, about how she hated rides on the ferris wheel.

“It’s not that bad,” you tried once more. "One ride, I promise. I'll give you one of my cigarettes later, don't worry."

Natalie huffed again, rolling her eyes at you, and put her lighter in the pocket of her old moss green jacket before walking over to you.

"Just a ride and then it's over. It's not a question."

You nodded, shrugging and swallowing hard, before starting to walk beside her. Oh, one more thing about Natalie that you knew since you met her: she hated holding hands.

***

"I swear I'm going to kill you. It seems like a good thing to push you from the highest point, don't you think?"

Natalie proposed, whispering through clenched teeth as the ferris wheel monitor buckled you up and closed the cabin. There was a noise in the background, coming from other laughing children and families in the cabins behind, so Natalie had to get a little closer to you to whisper in your direction.

"Ah, come on, it's going to be fun!", you murmured, in your usual joy, looking to the side and enjoying the view of the park before the ride started to rise. "But if you feel unwell, I can ask the monitor to stop first and come down."

"It is not necessary."

She murmured, taking a deep breath, and you felt like there was too much air gathering in Natalie's lungs. With your free arm, you passed it over the cabin, around the platinum blonde, in an attempt to comfort her. It didn't help, but you were sure you saw her lined eyes relax a little.

And then, the ride began. The families behind you screamed loudly when the cabins started to rise a little, and then they started laughing when theirs stopped in the air and slowly descended, giving a good view of the city from up there.

You looked away again at the huge windows and the landscape, even though you weren't so high up. It felt good to reassure Natalie at that moment, her fear feeling like it was going to leave her body and hover like a cloud of dust above your heads.

"Are you okay?"

"Absolutely."

You laughed, making a mental note and finding it amusing that Natalie always used colloquial language when she was scared. Suddenly, she looked down, and her clear eyes widened again.

"Holy shit! Why are there two guys down there? And why does it look like they're arguing? Oh, God, don't tell me we-"

You looked down, just to see where she was looking, and then, suddenly, the voices of the families became clearer, as if they purposefully escaped from the windows of the cabins straight into yours. "we're stuck!" "it looks like the toy broke!" "damn, bunch of irresponsible people!" "I want my fucking money back!" "get that fucking toy down soon, buddy!"

Gritting your teeth, you looked at Natalie, and you were sure that she had heard at least half of the whispers, or, well, at best - and probably the most terrible - she had enough intelligence to figure out what had just happened on her own. to happen.

"Fuck me," she muttered, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Once, twice, three times. And then, you grabbed her with your free arm by the collar of her shirt, the back collar.

"Calm down, it's just a quick stop, it's supposed to give more excitement. Soon the ferris wheel comes back, just try to breathe", you whispered, and obviously it didn't help at all.

"I'm not five anymore, (Y\N). Don't act like you're my fucking parents."

"Hey, don't freak out, it won't help…", you clicked your tongue. "Well, how about if we just try to distract ourselves while the toy doesn't come back? Make small talk? There are some things going on that you haven't told me yet, right?"

You don't know how this caught Natalie's attention, but you saw that her face had returned to its usual paleness, and that she had raised an eyebrow in your direction.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why, the most obvious. You and Travis Martinez, what else?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's not what you think. He's just my friend. Just like you are too."

Ouch, that one hurt. It would have affected you more, of course, if you had even had feelings for Natalie, but obviously you had nothing more than a friendly affection for her, and in truth, her and Travis' sudden closeness wasn't bothering you in the slightest. in an unhealthy way…

Absolutely not. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

"Just friends? Oh, sure, like, okay then…" You took another deep breath, and then blushed when you saw her raised eyebrow again. "It's just, like, he doesn't seem like the kind of person who would hang out with our gang…"

"You mean he doesn't look like a rebellious kid?" Natalie scoffed, biting her lip and looking away from you. "Yeah, I mean, you'd be surprised by some things about him."

"And how come you know so much, huh?"

She pursed her lips. You had used an intonation that definitely wasn't as ironic as you thought it would be, and in fact, maybe that would have surprised Natalie. You were about to open your mouth to apologize, when she spoke first, her eyes fixed on you and that cheeky smile that only she knew how to give.

"Damn, I didn't know you were that possessive, (Y\N)…"

It was your turn to roll your eyes.

"And I'm not. I don't give a shit about your circle of friends, okay?"

"It's not what it looks like…"

"Okay, let's change the subject…", you pursed your lips too, looking away. "Did you buy the hair dye? Your roots are turning black again…"

She nodded, but that sleazy smile was still on her lips as she looked the other way. In fact, it only disappeared when she realized that you guys weren't coming back down, and that it would probably take hours to do so.

"This shit's never going down again, is it? What the fuck…"

You laughed, looking at her again and shaking your head. "You know, if you're so scared, you can hold my hand. I won't bite you unless you ask me to."

Natalie rolled her eyes again, looking at you with closed eyes. She hated vulnerability, especially when it was her own. Her hand slid across the space in the seat that separated the two of you in the cabin, and then, her fingers caught yours, lightly, as if they were magnets attracting each other.

"If you tell anyone tomorrow, I'll kill you," she whispered, her teeth clenched and her gaze still very serious. That made you laugh and eased the blush on your cheeks a little.

Suddenly, like an answer to her silent prayer, the cabin gave a sharp start and threatened to descend. This caused Natalie's already trembling and vulnerable body, barely secured in the seat belt, to fall until it reached your arms. You held her just in case, but she made sure to lean on your waist to straighten herself up again.

"Oh, God, I think I'm going to throw up," she murmured, returning to the fear inside her. You watched her and, in a rush, had an idea that might help. Well, it helped you with your now rare panic attacks before a decisive test in class.

Instinctively, you grabbed her cheek, pressing your faces together at a considerable distance. Her eyes were on you, but specifically at the level of your nose, and she seemed shocked by your unexpected attitude.

“What the fuck are you doing?”, she whispered, her lips barely moving.

"I'm trying to take your focus away. Pay attention to other things, don't fucking look down," you replied, your tone as neutral as possible, your eyes focused on her. But your closeness was incredibly suspicious and, even if you denied it, it took away some of the attention that should have been hers. Clearing your throat, you whispered again. "Do you feel better?"

Natalie didn't answered. She closed her clear eyes and took another deep breath, swallowing hard. And then, her pale, calloused hands touched your shoulder. At first, it seemed like an attempt to push you away, but then, suddenly, when she unexpectedly pressed your lips together, you understood everything.

Responding to the kiss as best you could, terrified that it would be clumsy, you let your mind wander to the darkest parts, and you also understood that you always wanted, deep down, for this moment to happen. And then, after minutes of the wind in your hair and your body getting hot with the blood bubbling almost to your head, Natalie finally did what she normally would do, using the grip on your shoulders to pull you away from her.

"Fuck, this wasn't supposed to happen," she whispered, trying to apologize. And suddenly, she fixed it. "I mean, maybe it was, but not like this. I guess I was just a little… too vulnerable, my bad."

You laughed, blushing once more before holding her hand again, this time placing your palm on hers.

"It's okay to be vulnerable sometimes. You look cute with that soft side," you whispered, nodding. "Well, not like that…"

"Don't be stupid, of course it's like that," she murmured, raising her eyebrow. "Okay, I'm not going to punch you in the face because you kissed me and because you have feelings for me."

"For the record, you were the one who kissed me."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, fuck. Nobody cares."

Suddenly, the ferris wheel gave another start and, finally, with the screams of satisfaction from all the families who were still waiting up there, it started working normally again. Natalie sighed, still holding your hand in hers, and you smiled, relieved, looking away.

"Just promise me one thing, (Y\N)?"

"Anything, Nat."

"That you won't tell anyone that we kissed-"

"That you kissed me."

"Whatever! Don't tell anyone, do you hear me? Or I'll change my mind and punch you in the face, yes."

You laughed before pulling her closer with your free hand, by her chin, and kissing her once more. "Don't worry. It'll just be our little secret for now."

[archetypal-archivist]

The most interesting egg is leo because she speaks majority spanish with foolish, and she's mentioned a few times that she doesn't understand english super well. Overall its been good for foolish because he's getting pretty good at reading and its been fun to watch him improve. I just wish the other english eggs did that too i want to see bad learn spanish or something ☹️

Yeah, I agree! I love how much Foolish has been learning with Leonarda, he's getting to the point where he's picking up snippets of Portuguese from Richarlyson's signs because written, the languages aren't dissimilar. As a point for multiculturalism and diversity, this is a major win and it's exactly what the QSMP was meant to do! I'm very proud and happy because of that. :)

As for the others, it would be very neat if Bad or Philza worked harder to learn languages outside of English too, but I'm not sure either would go for it. I will say that they do have semi-reasonable excuses though.

Philza isn't on long enough or with enough regularity to learn much, and Badboyhalo is often so entrenched in lore and quick, snappy communication that the time it takes to translate a Spanish sign could seriously affect how things go. Bad's self-assigned purpose seems to be keeping the lore going- he drops in to keep others up to date, furthers the plot, and farms resources so all players are on a level playing field and no one is excluded because they get killed by mobs every few minutes or can't sprint to keep up with a group bc they have no food. That doesn't leave much room for sitting there for a while translating and learning.

I will ALSO say, however, that given how long he streams for and how late, a Spanish learning section would be lovely late night content. Cross your fingers and hope, lol.

[bluberimufim]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

Hello. I got tagged for this by @squarebracket-trick on this post and I thought it sounded super fun. So, here we are!

1. What motivates you to write?

I started out as an artist, but I began writing once I realized that visual art as a medium wasn't enough to tell the stories I wanted to tell - it had no way of codifying lore, defining character traits, or even just easily telling a long story. I think it's still largely that, in a way. I come up with all these stories and I "get them out" through writing because I sure as hell can't keep them inside my brain for eternity.

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

This one is pretty recent, from a few chapters ago in DoS, but I'm really proud of it. I just feel like it emphasizes how much Seth's experience with souls connects with the body, which is the Goddess of Time's domain. A lot of metaphors in this story centre around bodies and physicality because of this. Here's the snippet:

And yet, there was Theo, with her soul so unwound there was no fixing it anymore. The most she could do was keep healing and healing, covering the cracks of the bowl with her own hands in the hope that they'd go back to normal. Keep filling the ocean so that, no matter how many holes lined its bed, it would never be empty. [...] She held her so tight she thought her hands would fuse to her skin. As if she could cover the cracks of her soul with her own body.

Idk, I just vibe with it.

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

(what happened to 3 and 4? where did they go?)

I'd say back-and-forth banter, probably because of my time in theatre, but also horror description. It creeps up on me. I keep writing horror on accident. And I always really like it. Just something about describing something weird and spooky.

6. What do you enjoy most about the Writeblr community?

Mostly the fact that there's all these other writers who have cool stuff and also wanna see my cool stuff. I already loved writing on my own, but knowing that there are people Out There who also care about my stories just feels amazing.

And also, the casual friendship between people. You interact with someone's blog, they interact with yours, and you suddenly feel like you're friends, kinda. I can only compare it to making quick friends with someone on the playground as a kid. I like it <3

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech-to-text, a writing program etc)

I am a very ✨analogue✨ person, so my best writing advice in this scenario is always: put that shit on paper.

Feel unsure about a scene? Put that shit on paper. It's like a 0.5th (hehe "halfth") draft that you will copy onto your document and you will always improve it with that second look.

Worried about perfectionism? Put that shit on paper. Even pencil, at least to me, feels hard to erase. It's mostly about living with the stuff you've written and not looking back - erasing is such a pain in the ass that you might as well just keep going forward.

Wanna write secretly during class/lectures/whatever where you're not allowed to have a device? Wadda ya know, the answer is also paper.

Wanna edit? Printing stuff out helps you get some distance from your own writing and it also makes you see it more as a book than as just something you've made.

It also generally makes you feel less bad about changing stuff later in the document, because you have a solid, physical record of what you've written before.

Put that shit on paper. It works well.

(sorry for the rant sbdhagjk)

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

I once made a post about the art movements in the world of the dystopia WIP (yes, seriously) but I can't find it anymore. I'm not gonna explain it again, it was stupidly long the first time around.

I guess, outside the dystopia WIP, I'm pretty proud of the whole Three Sister Goddesses thing from DoS. I have drawn designs, but I'll make another post sometime. I'm also proud of the relationship between the Goddesses tho.

They're at war with each other, but they're just doing it for entertainment. They kiiiinda hate each other but not as much as their desire to have fun. Like, they will send their daughters to decimate each other's armies, but they'll also hang out together in the Plane of the Gods. The war is kind of like a decades-long game of Monopoly they're having at the family function. And I just think it's cool. Goes into that whole thing about mortals being like ants to uncaring gods that I like.

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Kinda cliché, but I'd say this: it happens to everyone, dude (gender neutral). Everyone has periods of time when they feel bad and can't write. Or where they feel like their writing is terrible. Doesn't make you less of a writer.

Even if you're not as productive as other people: who cares, honestly? As long as you're having a good time and doing something you love, it doesn't matter how much time you need or don't need to finish something. Even if you never finish anything. And if you feel like you're not as good as other people: who cares either, you know? Everybody starts somewhere. And everybody has different strengths. You'll get better. You always do.

At the end of the day, we're all just doing this because we love it. Don't force yourself. The time will pass anyway.

Ooooookay that last one was a bit more serious than the rest. Anyway, I wanna tag, no pressure, @fleurtygurl @stesierra @cheeto-flavoured-pasta and @sarandipitywrites

[sakarrie-creates]

It’s that time of year! Here’s my 2023 art summary! After two years of having to include non-colored pieces, I finally did enough ‘full’ pieces to fill my art summary template! I did have to get a bit creative with the months since I was able to draw a LOT more during the summer, but I’ll take it! Sorry it's a bit blurry. I'm not sure if that's just for the preview or not, but it was a smaller file than normal and since these reflections are 99% for my own interest, I decided it wasn't worth trying to change.

As usual, I got rambly so reflection questions are answered under the cut. The template I used is available here in case anyone else wants to make their own! My fic summary will be coming in a week or so, so stay tuned for the stats and round-up there. :)

What events did you participate in (with art)? Player Appreciation Week, Fandom Trumps Hate, Dear Fellow Traveler (Animatic), Weird People (Editing), SPN Comfortably Queer Zine (dropped), and lots of zine applications for page artist, merch artist, comic artist, and spot artist roles!

What was your biggest challenge this year? While time, like last year, was still a challenge, I think my biggest challenge was a mix of low motivation and an intense perfectionistic mindset. At the start of the year, I got super into TOH and was super hyped about all the zines with apps opening. I really REALLY wanted to get into them and figured I should apply for art too just cause it would increase my overall chances of getting in. After the finale, I did a screenshot redraw that ended up being absolutely fantastic for where my skill level is. I went deeper into rendering than ever before, and somehow it worked for me. 

That probably was the start of my unreasonably high expectations, and I got it into my head that maybe if I could make a whole portfolio of artwork at that quality level, I actually stood a chance at getting into a zine as an artist. From then on, I was hardcore crash-coursing perspective, rendering techniques, and generally trying to improve without allowing room for mistakes. While I do think it helped me grow a lot, it burnt me out so I struggled to work on stuff past summary (when all the zine apps were) and even dropped from the SPN Comfortably Queer Zine cause my imposter syndrome was so strong. (Though that was also partially because it was a ‘sign-up and you’re in’ zine, so they never saw my art during the application process and had no way of knowing if I was good enough.

What was something you were surprised by? I’m pretty sure I discovered the perspective tool is CSP this year! CSP has so many tools I’m not aware of (despite watching tons of tutorials and guides), so it wasn’t super surprising but it was nice. I have to say, they’re a serious hassle to work with and require a higher understanding of vanishing points and such than I currently have, but I could see it being very useful for future scene art pieces.

Did you try anything new this year?

Yes! This year I kicked down the door to the merch world and have been collecting and designing throughout the year. Though the designs have mostly just been for zine app portfolio’s, everything has worked out really well for me and I hope to produce charms for my collection as I improve my skills. Where do you think you most improved? Definitely my confidence in rendering! And probably my rendering itself too. I did a ton more pieces with it this year and it’s definitely a favorite part of the art process for me. I think I’ll have a lot more fun with it this year too, since I’m trying to keep it lower pressure, so I can experiment more to find out what brushes and styles I like most. What are you most proud of? I think I’m most proud of how ambitious I was with my zine apps. Though I didn’t get into any for art and it burned me out a fair bit, I did a lot of hard work and made pieces I can be mostly happy with. As for specific pieces, I’m very proud of my animatic clip for the Dear Fellow Traveler MAP (which is what the Belos art from the summary is from). My portion was about 5 seconds with 24 fully colored and shaded frames. A few of those were moving frames too, so the end result is the closest thing to actual animation I’ve done. I also really like the rendering on the Huntlow Epilogue art and generally how the Steve&Matt hug turned out.

How’d this year compare to your 2023 goals? I honestly couldn’t remember what my goals were, but all things considered, I didn’t do too bad! Thankfully past-Sakarrie was wise and made it a bullet list so I can just check things off. Met: -Player Appreciation Week -Add to zine portfolio -Apply to at least one zine as an artist (fine if don’t get accepted) -Keep experimenting with backgrounds and shading -Pull out some old WIPs -Build more consistency of style

The checked off ones I definitely met, so good for me! This was a very zine-focused year, so I way exceeded those goals. The last two I did do, but they’re a bit subjective. Specifically, I think the ‘WIPs’ I was referring to were old sketches, but most of the old WIPs I revisited were already colored and I was either adding rendered or cleaning them up for zine usage. As for style, I’m REALLY bad at telling haha. That said, my characters seem reasonably similar when I draw them, so I’m going to tentatively count it. Kinda: -One fully colored piece per month

I’m gonna give myself a half check on this one. I didn’t have a fully colored piece every month, but I did have over 12 fully rendered pieces in the end, several of which had backgrounds. So while I didn’t meet the letter of the goal, I feel like I met the spirit of it.

Did Not Meet: -Finish Huntlow comic -30 minutes animatic digitalize rough draft -Maybe make some fanart of my favorite fics

These don’t shock me. They’re all personal projects and this was a very external-goal-driven year for me. The Huntlow comic is a big love of mine but it’s definitely ambitious for where my skill is. I’ve got the whole thing messy-sketched and most of it has been clean sketched, but the jump from that to lineart is gonna be hard, and I have no idea what I’d be doing with color since the panels don’t have a background. That said, I do feel like it’s some solid work and I adore the angst vibe of it, so maybe I’ll get it done one day. I could also see myself posting it as a messy lineart comic so that others could enjoy the concept being executed in case it never gets finished.

As for the 30 Minutes animatic, I still 100% intend to complete it eventually. I love the way it fits to the music and I’m so proud of the thumbnails. Even if it never becomes a full animatic, I want to digitize the frames and line it up with music so I can share the concept I see in my mind with others. My brain was somewhat overtaken suddenly by TOH this year, so now that that’s settled and I’m hoping to follow my muse more this year, maybe this will be something I can get excited about again.

The fanart for favorite fics is no surprise since it’s kinda the tack on. With low motivation and projects with deadlines that needed my focus, personal art like this was buried way below other priorities. It’s a nice though for sure though.

Alrighty then, now it’s time for 2024 goals!! Oh goodness, I really don’t know what to expect of myself. I definitely am going to try to allow for more personal projects with lower pressure, but I do still have some goals. Hopefully most can be accomplished without applying big pressure though.

2024 Goals:

-Number One Priority: Create for my and don’t put myself in a place to get crazy burnt out and still have requirements. If I meet this goal, then it’s okay if I don’t meet any of the others. (It would be sad.... But I would still count it as meeting overall goals.) -Participate in Summergen and PAW Week (Art or Fic) -Design Handplates charm as anniversary gift (November) -Design CS Charm -Have a fully usable Zine Portfolio (Currently need more merch samples and rendered pieces with backgrounds) -Apply to new TOH Zines or other loved fandom zines. If I end up getting into any, I can pull back, but since that doesn’t seem likely, I want to get into the habit of always being ready to apply with what I have. -Make an ongoing project list to pin to my tumblr. This applies mostly for fics, but that way people coming to my page can see what fandoms I’m actively creating for and what they can look forward to (as well as have an opening to ask questions if they’re interested). -Post more (at least 10 times throughout the year) and add my best pieces to instagram (8+ pieces by end of year). -Do ONE of the following:     1. 30 minutes digitized so it can be shared with music      2. Open Up Your Eyes fully thumbnail      3. Fanworks for other people’s fics      4. Participate in an extra bang or exchange with art      5. Design and manufacture a pin -Play with different brushes and rendering styles -Draw something from scratch every month, no matter how small -Not exactly art, but I want to have a finalized long-term merch display plan for all my items Overall, how’d the year go? I think I did well! I didn’t meet all my goals and I pushed myself too far, but I learned and improved a LOT this year. All things considered, I made pieces that last year me would be blown away by, so I think that’s an automatic win. I’m pretty uncertain on how this next year will go (even more so than last year, which is surprising since I was changing schools last year), but I’m hoping to enjoy what I do and create art semi-regularly. Here’s to 2024!

[eiseryn]

✨🧪HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEI 🧪✨

It's September 17!!! Which means it's the birthday of everyone's (my) favourite pharmaceutical doctor🥺🥺🥺I love her so much 🥺🥺🥺

It's no surprise that she's my current obsession and a lot of my brainrot is based on her orz so ofc I had to do her justice for her birthday! Which is today -- September 17~

Since Sept 17 this year is also Mid Autumn Fest I was hoping to draw her eating some mooncake maybe with Ceres or Vail or Elise 🤔🤔🤔 Let's see if I can squeeze in a sketch tomorrow.

As for how she usually celebrates her birthday? I imagine usually with her friends and Vail XD Maybe this year, they had hotpot and mooncakes 🤣* I imagine her favourite filling might be low sugar red bean or lotus seed. I tried to draw some lotuses in the BG of her birthday art but uhhhh I free handed them so they might not be the best. The flower in her hair is supposed to be a lotus too but I didn't look at a ref before I drew it so it's not accurate LOL SOME FUN FACTS FOR THE UPCOMING CYBERPUNK VIS NOVEL THAT'S DEF GOING TO COME OUT BEFORE 2030 (pls believe and cope with me)

Fun fact 1: The events of the campaign take place right after had a girl's night out with Elise + Ceres 😭

Fun fact 2: In the campaign, her birthday present from Vail is Meng, her ragdoll cat :3

Fun fact 3: The diamond-shaped green gemstone necklace she's often depicted wearing was Ceres' gift to her!

Comparing this year to last year's piece, I'm super proud of my improvement. I tried to keep everything almost the same except her hair is a little longer since it's been a year~ I think the main improvement is me being able to draw hands sometimes now XD (I REALLY TRIED FOR THIS PIECE T_T) Maybe you might notice other improvement I've made? 🥺

Let's also compare last year's Lei bday art (2023) compared to this year's (2024). For some reason last year's art looks really wonky in terms of the face even though I actually drew the sketch on pencil traditionally??? Also ofc there's no hands drawing LOL And the hair is shorter but for some reason there's no green dye? Although in this year's piece note that the green dye migrated cuz she didn't dye her hair so it simply,,, moved down LOL as her hair grew

NOW THAT'S WHAT WE CALL ✨IMPROVEMENT✨

But to blab more about Lei's birthday while we have space 🤔🤔🤔 CONSIDERING THE MODERN AU where Lei + her friends are in university (and med school LOL)... I imagine the first year they threw her a surprise birthday party cuz Gigi is very good at planning parties 💅 But they can't do that every year or she'll expect it!

Lei is half Chinese so that's why it's really cool her bday this year falls on mid autumn fest! It's extra cool cuz she already has some moon motifs with her flower symbolism being moon flower + an unreleased parallel for the witch au/ fantasy au + celestial themed wallpaper i was going to draw... I HAVE TOO MANY OC BRAINWORMS NOT ENUFF SKILL OR TIME

Some brainworms at 2am

smaller party this year and it's a hotpot party!

If it's with her closer family it would be with Gigi + Elise + Ceres + Vail (so a party of 5) + cats

The only reason I might imagine with the Mertalline group (larger group) is so Flash can show up XD BUT ALSO IN THIS AU FLASH IS VAIL'S NEIGHBOUR XD so maybe if they're at Vail's appt he will show up anyways 🤔

I was imagining the party to take place at Ceres + Lei's shared appt BUTTTTTT just for the Flash cameo 🤣🤣🤣 That's going to be the canon

They probably have a dual pot/ divider thing so there's a white broth + spicy broth! I wonder who can handle spice in the group? Def Gigi... maybe Elise? I imagine not Ceres and maybe not even Vail! It's Lei and Flash I wonder of the two if they can handle spice 🤔🤔 I think Lei can, but not super spicy -- just enough to eat spicy food and not die LOL

dessert is mooncakes instead of cakes... DEF MULTIPLE FLAVOURS SO EVERYONE CAN TRY DIFF FLAVOURS -- classics like lotus seed + red bean (low sugar for lei + normal sugar for sweet tooths like vail and gigi) + maybe some unique ones like pineapple or ube or sweet potato?

maybe they do some moonviewing together too 🥺 take a stroll to the local university grass field and enjoy being in each other's presence

I wonder what Lei's friends would give her?

I'm thinking that Ceres would handmake some thing(s) -- maybe an album she worked on for the past year about their fave memories! Maybe a painting of Meng + Cillin, or a keychain?

Elise would likely go with perfume, scented candles, or jewelry like earrings -- something she knows Lei would like or use!

Gigi's gift is her presence in Lei's life (IM JOKING BUT ALSO THIS IS TRUE). She'd probably give Lei a pretty outfit that she'd like Lei to wear + it would fit Lei perfectly -- SHE MIGHT EVEN SEW OR DESIGN IT HERSELF???

Vail's birthday gift for the first year is Meng AS IT IS CANON but for this one I imagine they already have Cillin + Meng so 🤔🤔🤔 maybe this year it's his d- I'm kidding... sorry LOL probably something like earrings actually XD since he's gone shopping with her. He likely recruited the help of Ceres and Elise and Gigi for this tho. Maybe even a fluffy robe or bathcoat... IDK I feel like he's rather practical with gifts and he probably treats her well outside of her birthday / gifts her things anyways so XD

It's really hard to top a cat let's be real here

I kinda want to write a short fanfic... NGHHHHHH if I have time tmr (me doing all these things for tmr 🤡🤡🤡)

[heart-of-copper-dog-training]

My Favorite Day of the Week: Prison Time

As you know, yesterday was our first meeting with the inmates since our kerfuffles needed unkerfuffling. So, let me get ya'll updated.

First, it was SO fun seeing the guys again. We all missed each other so much! I have a mix of good news and bad news, so I'll start with the bad first: we have two dogs who are terminally ill. The last coordinator didn't get them vetted in time to get them treated and now that our rescue coordinator who is amazing has gotten that done, it's been discovered it's too late. So her rescue organization will sponsor them until end of life and make the call when to euthanize, but for now they are staying with their handlers and if one of them makes it long enough, she will go into a hospice adoption with her handler later this year.

One of our purebreds was transferred to a purebred rescue to give him a better chance at adoption, so in his spot we got this new beautiful dog who, honestly, looks like a coyote wearing socks. She's so sweet and might be a service dog candidate with Tadsaw, that remains to be seen.

As for the dogs and handlers, like I said, we were all very excited. We got a new location due to some issues with the old one (prison things, warden went over it) and while it's smaller, it should be fine until the weather cools. We're hoping to get a second room and split into two groups to get more space.

Our two shyest dogs are more open and happy, bonded with their handlers. One of them even made a friend with our third lifer dog, Pie (due to having been in for three years, he's mostly unadoptable as he'd have too much separation anxiety. The rescue is sponsoring him as well but he's expected to live a long happy life with his handler). Which means Pie gets extra exercise (he's a fat boi who is working on it and gradually showing improvement).

Our crazy girl Mauve is doing so well on her leash skills! All the dogs are working leash skills this week and next week, as that is one of if not the most common reason to return a dog. We'll also be using my body language 101 handout as homework next week so we can go over that with the handlers.

We'll be adding back up handlers soon per dog, so that there's never a stranger with them. And as inmates go in and out we'll have more ready to go trained handlers for each batch of dogs.

Our new dog, Molly, is best friends with Mauve and we're not fully convinced they aren't related, due to their location they were found in, their ages, and their appearance. Regardless, they are so sweet and cute together which is great because Mauve needs a friend who can keep up with her energy.

Next week, we start figure 8s, sitting for greeting and a brush up on "down". I'll be with the rescue coordinator because our second trainer has a few things and can't make it but she'll be back when we meet again, hopefully with them having read the body language 101.

I can't stress enough how great it is to walk into a room full of smiling faces and happy dogs (many of whom were super shut down when they entered the program). Our handlers are amazing. I can't believe that in the small time we've known them, they've gone from a bit standoffish and not really friendly to each other to smiling, cracking jokes and teasing one another about this or that with their different dogs. They know they are doing a great thing and some of these dogs come from horrendous situations. I'm so proud of the work they've done, even with our sporadic (and hopefully more consistent now that we've met with the warden and gotten a new coordination with the prison) meetings. The real test will be our next batch of dogs, but this group (who has had far too long due to the issues previously) is going very well. I anticipate they'll all graduate (less our three lifer dogs) and the next group will have its small hiccups, but also thrive.

I'm so honored to be part of something that brings so much joy to everyone. The inmates are happy (even those not in the program are having fun watching the dogs and asking how to get in), the dogs are happy, us trainers are happy, the rescue organization is happy and our coordinator and warden are happy. It's a win win win for everyone.

It's my favorite part of the week and I can't wait to see where it goes.

As always, be kind to yourself, to your dogs, and to others. It's free to be kind.

Here's a picture of Orange Cat (legal name Lionblaze but we call him orange cat lol) looking smug and satisfied for ya'll who are here for the cute animals.

[aberooski]

Do you have singing voice HCs for any DM characters?

Ooh good question! Of course you can take my headcanons with a grain of salt, but I'm happy to share!

I sort of do, but not quite to the same degree as my hyperfixation on my GX crew singing voice headcanons. Or maybe it is actually it's been a while since I've thought about these guys that way aksksk

Like for instance we have a frame of reference for Seto because Eric Stuart is a singer. Which would apply to Bastion a little bit too through the transitive property of voice actors but Seto's voice is more or less just Eric's and Bastion's isn't so I think about them very differently.

Side note: Seto can sing and has a nice voice but would literally never sing ever in his life so I don't think even he knows what his vocals are like. 🤭

We also sorta have a frame of reference for Téa because in my experience we all just kinda agree that it's her singing We'll Be There even though it's not actually Amy Birnbaum singing. But from that frame of reference I think it's safe to say I think she'd have a very pop-y voice. Her voice is light enough to be very agile for runs and has the energy for more upbeat songs. I also think she lives more in the upper register, not quite full soprano though. She'd probably be more of a mezzo soprano in like a choir or something like that. But she's got a great belting range. So jealous

Tristan I actually think about the most. I think he actually has a very good voice and everyone is surprised by that when they find out. It's kinda like a secret talent but he's modest about it. He's the most musically adept between the four of them apart from Téa since she's a dancer and has that side on lock too, but he keeps it to himself. But goddammit his voice is smooth like butter and lives in that middle voice range. Get him on a nice slow acoustic song and he'll change your fucking life.

Joey is the most amateurish with his sound and general talent but he tries. He's lowkey jealous of Tristan's innate vocal talent and tries harder to get good so he can one up him at first but then just grows to enjoy it. And he's more of a belter than Tristan which he loves to flex but in a fun and playful way. Hid voice like I said is amateurish and rough and unrefined, but he's got the spirit and the potential to be a very very good vocalist as he improves.

Bakura has the sweetest most gentle tuckin voice in the world 😭 except for Yugi but shhhhh! Like you want him singing lullabies to your kids at night. His voice is very melodious and his British accent survives in his vocals which just 😭 his range is deceptively low though but is generally very wide.

I haven't thought super deep into Duke or Mai but I have decided they both have deep, sultry, very sexy voices 😩 Like they would KILL in a midnight piano bar. Voice part wise I've always had it in my mind that Mai would be an alto, probably 2nd alto, and Duke would be a baritone. I also can't imagine any senerio where Mai doesn't have natural vibrato 😩

And Yugi 🤔 Yugi is very self conscious about his voice but like Bakura, he has the fucking sweetest most gentle voice you've ever heard. It's just as gentle as he is, and his range leans more on the higher side but he's got more of a lower register than Sy does of you know my headcanon about him 🤭 Joey loves to be his hype man if the situation ever arises where Yugi sings anything like if they're having a karaoke night or something and he appreciates the sentiment but get soooo embarrassed. He and Téa duet at karaoke night a lot and their voices are very well matched 🥰

Tbh haven't really thought about Atem that much that way 🤔 but in my mind he's a bass/baritone. But he probably has a very nice voice too, strong and warm and just a kinda naturally refined sound. I dunno really, but he can definitely sing 😅

Hope that's a satisfactory answer for you! 💜

[semperama]

hi erin i was wondering if you had any advice for how to deal with not getting any comments on a fic. i'm in a pretty small fandom and i get the same (small) amount of kudos as many other writers there. but i recently posted a pretty personal fic that i worked extremely hard on for months, so hopeful that it might resonate with people, and now i just feel crushed. i'm working on new fics but I keep thinking that I’m probably only setting myself up for more disappointment ;(( any thoughts? ty <3

Hi, anon! I'm sorry to hear you feel like your hard work has gone unnoticed. That's such an awful feeling. I can't say I'm an expert, because I haven't been in a fandom small enough that it was normal to get no comments, but I do know what it's like to work hard on something and be disappointed by the response. I have a few things that might help.

If you can, I really recommend trying to make friends in your fandom. Especially in small fandoms, it can be such a lifesaver in terms of getting feedback and keeping your motivation. A good keysmash in the comments of a Google Doc can be just as satisfying as a dozen comments on AO3. Finding someone you trust to beta read your fic, or to bounce ideas off of, is a good idea in ANY fandom, but it can be especially helpful in small fandoms to keep from feeling like you're shouting into the void. And make sure you're giving back to others as well! Leave some comments on other people's fic! Follow them on tumblr and hype up their projects! Do whatever you can to tap into the community that is there.

I hate to say it, but part of it really is adjusting your expectations. If everyone in the fandom gets a handful of kudos at most, then you need to go into writing for that fandom with your eyes wide open, knowing that even if you pour your blood, sweat, and tears into something, all you can expect is that same handful of kudos. That says nothing about you as a writer. You could write an absolute masterpiece, and if there are only 10 people interested in that subject, you're only going to get 10 people to read it. And that's okay! That doesn't mean you've failed in any way, and you should still be proud of your accomplishments. But you can't get blood from a stone, you know? If the audience isn't there, it isn't there. In a way, that can be freeing though. The problem with large audiences can be the expectation of a huge response every time and feeling like you failed if you don't get it. In very small fandoms, at least you know the lack of response is due to the lack of people, not something you did wrong!

Related to the previous point, if you're going to be writing for a fandom where getting lots of (or any) comments isn't the norm, then you should try to find a way to measure success for yourself that doesn't have to do with comments. That often just means writing something you are proud of and you enjoy reading. Especially in the case where you're writing about subjects that are personal to you, make sure you take the time to appreciate the catharsis it brings you. Pat yourself on the back for how you're improving your writing skills by getting in touch with your own emotions and experiences and turning them into stories. Those things aren't useless if they don't reach a huge audience. You are improving yourself by doing it!

All that being said, if it really is a super duper tiny fandom and there's no community to get involved with and you don't think you'll ever be happy writing for mostly yourself, I do honestly think there's a time when you have to ask yourself if you need to move on. I personally suck at writing for myself. If no one's going to read it, I don't want to write it, haha. In the past when fandoms have died or my friends have left, I've jumped ship too, because I need the community aspect. Fandom isn't fun for me without it. Everyone's different though! I've known people who are happier writing for fandoms so rare no one else is writing for them. It just comes down to both your tolerance for the lack of feedback and how much you feel compelled by this particular fandom.

Anyway, sorry I got so long-winded and I'm sorry if none of that is helpful! I hope you can glean something from it at least, and I hope you are able to feel proud of yourself for finishing a personal fic, which is SO hard to do, even if it didn't get the response you were hoping for. <33

[tabbyclaw]

Yep, I'm doing this. Crosssposting my Yuletide letter here just for the hell of it.

Overall I like stories that are more on the lighthearted side, fun with a bit of humor and a happy ending. Grand, world-saving plots are always great, but I love an adventure where the stakes are low and personally important to the characters, and when the plot gives them a chance to show off their competence and recognize the competence of the people around them. (Most of the characters I've requested are a bit pathetic or goofy to some degree or another and I absolutely encourage embracing that, but they're also good at what they do and I'd like them to have a chance to shine.) I don't like AUs that completely change the canon setting and circumstances, but I'm always interested to see what people do with "What if [canon event] happened differently?"-type AUs. Characters and their interactions are always the biggest thing I'm here for, so I'm definitely hoping for banter and casual physical affection, both platonic and romantic. And speaking of romantic, there are definitely some requests here where that's what I'm hoping for, although in all cases I will absolutely be happy with platonic relationships between the characters as well. For romantic stories I'm a sucker for mutual pining and accidental feelings realizations, and I love unusual and unexpected romantic moments and flirtation, where maybe this wouldn't look like flirting if anyone else was doing it, but when it's these specific characters it definitely is. I'm not keen on second-person POV, but first and third are equally welcome.

DNWs: explicit sex, unrequested non-canon pairings, unrequested identity headcanons, non-canon character death, tragic/bleak endings, mundane/modern/setting change AUs, non-canon severe illness/injury (canon-typical comedic, non-permanent injuries in cartoon canons are fine), animal harm.

Fandom-specific likes and prompts

Darkwing Duck Requested characters: Drake Mallard, Gosalyn Mallard, Launchpad McQuack

I'd really love some domesticity for this group, especially mixed in with the way their home lives intersect with the crimefighting. Navigating the early days of making it work as a household and as a family, and how that changes over time. Possibly as Gosalyn gets older Darkwing considers bringing her into the crimefighting business (maybe to fill in temporarily because Launchpad is unavailable for some reason, or maybe as a more permanent thing) and has to walk the parenting tightrope of "wanting to help my kid grow" and "wanting to keep my kid safe"? Or maybe a look at her relationship with Launchpad specifically, and how it differs from her relationship with her dad? Also, Launchpad is out there being a superhero's sidekick with no secret identity to protect him and it should be super easy to connect him to both his lives. I don't actually have any specific thoughts about that; it just makes me go "Hey, wait a minute" sometimes and I wanted to throw it out there. And I definitely ship Darkwing/Launchpad, so if the spirit moves you in that direction knock yourself out. (But nothing about them dealing with homophobia, please!)

Kung Fu Panda Requested characters: Tigress, Shifu

This is a request made mostly in hopes of fix-it fic. The original movie makes it clear enough how desperate Tigress is for Shifu's approval, and every time the extended materials dip into her backstory it just hammers home how long she's been chasing it and how much not getting it has affected her. What I'd really like to see is Shifu actually recognizing that post-canon (or at least post-first film) and making some effort to ease that pain and improve the relationship between them going forward. I don't need a huge dramatic blow-up with groveling, just something that says the first steps are being taken. (Maybe something tied to that still of the two of them eating noodles in the end credits? I always felt like that suggested some of the tension between them loosening up.) And if that whole thing feels like kind of a lot (fair), maybe something about what she was like growing up, before things got really difficult. I've always thought that her time with him must have overlapped with Tai Lung's (would Shifu have taken her in so readily if he was already bitter about his previous failure?), so what would that have been like, and how would that loss that she was too young to understand have affected their relationship?

Oxventure D&D Requested characters: Prudence, Corazon de Ballena

That reference I made in my general likes, to characters who are pathetic or goofy but still surprisingly competent? I was definitely counting the Oxventurers among those, and Corazon especially. I love how cool he thinks he is, and how cool Prudence actually is (well, you know, most of the time), and I love the chemistry between them when they're being terrible people who are trying very hard to pretend not to care and failing miserably at it. Especially when they're being a mix of terrible and caring towards each other. They play off each other so well and have so much chemistry that I'd love to see them doing almost anything together (unintentionally taking a day off in the same place? Secretly planning a job they don't think the rest of the guild will approve of?), but I do specifically ship it pretty hard and I am always down to see things go in that direction. Anything that involves accidentally realizing and/or revealing their feelings for each other would be great, and specifically I think these two would be perfect for a fake dating plot (as part of a plan that made sense at the time? To piss off Corazon's dad?) that gets more real than either of them ever intended it to.

Megamind Requested characters: Megamind, Roxanne Ritchi

Even when these two are in conflict there's a level of sincerity and familiarity between them that I love, and they're already pretty flirty and comfortable with each other from the very beginning of the movie. I'd be interested to see a pre-canon take on that, with the two of them gradually getting bolder and more familiar in their interactions as Megamind starts to develop an interest in Roxanne and Roxanne realizes that a) Megamind is basically harmless and b) it's really fun to push his buttons. If "Bernard" had never happened, would they have ever gotten to an 'openly interested in each other' stage on their own? Alternately, post-canon it would be fun to see the two of them learning to live in each other's worlds, with Roxanne helping Megamind get used to being around people and interacting with the public like just another citizen, and Roxanne getting used to being with someone who approaches everything in his life (including romance) with the same level of drama and spectacle he devotes to villainy.

[kopivie]

fortunately, none of my teammates follow me here so i'm just gonna unload my thoughts.

i. LOVE. tchotchkes.

so, for context, i got poached into a splatoon team whilst play open clam blitz this past april. i was testing out a splatterscope because i'd never used it in anarchy before and i landed myself on a team with a three stack -- rev, rude, and tourist. we won two matches and then suddenly, as i started a new match with completely different people, i got an influx of discord messages.

at the time, my in-game name was my discord tag (prior to the user change policy). i hurriedly added one of them -- rude -- and he was like "hey we're in a discord call, join my server!" and let me tell you, i was TERRFIED because at that point, i'd already been added by a myriad of people who either wanted to exchange friend codes or tell me to kill myself.

(whether they were serious or not, who knows. at least that means i'm good enough to make people mad.)

rude introduced me to tourist and rev and in the call, explained that their team leader, apple, was absent for a while and they needed a backline to play open with them for some time. i was suuuper confused because i was like ???? why would you want me, some bumbling splatterscope user, to sub in for a competitive backline captain???? but they all reassured me that i was really really good! and they told me that they wanted to play with me more often. shortly thereafter i met apple and i became an official sub for the team, and now i'm a permanent member and...

wow.

there's a lot more to tell. there's so, so, so much. but... these people are like a family to me. like, actually.

as it stands right now, i'm the oldest on the team (not by much), but they're all like little siblings to me. (except tourist because i think he's older than me.. he's also taking a break bc of his busy life!)

apple is like the sibling i have to keep an eye on because she's a little self-destructive but i wish her all the happiness in the world with her and her endeavors.

rude is the silly little brother that i hope my own little brothers grow up to be – he's bubbly and chill, super fun to spend time with (although i still have yet to get comfy sitting in silence with him -- in due time), and i want to squeeze him and put him in my pocket.

and rev is quite literally the little brother of the group. he's a baby! (although i'm 99% sure he's taller than me. big ass kid.) he reminds me of my little sister and he's just a funny kid, i adore him.

we play splatoon together almost every day these days (i've been contributing more and more to the team and i think we've been improving!) and i know it's 1 am, but myself, rude, and apple actually just finished a private battle where apple and i did a 1v1 e-liter battle. we did this for HOURS. like everyone really sat and enjoyed laser tag with me. i'm the resident charger main/lover in the server and i just... wow.

tl;dr: i love tchotchkes so much. they're genuinely my best friends, and i wish them all happiness and love in their lives.

[colonyworkshop]

Hello everybee~ 🐝

Once again it is time for me to celebrate the Anniversary of Colony Workshop and look back on everything I've achieved so far. I'm actually a little late posting this but I'm not going to let that stop me!

First of all I would love to say a big Thank You to everyone who's been following my art pages for the past few years. It has been a lot of fun working on these cute bug drawings and I'm really glad I've had a nice reception to my sketchbook pages and other odd bits I post. Your support means a lot to me and it has really helped me to continue working on this WebToon passion project~ 🦋

~~~~~

And now for the part where I get to toot my horn about everything I've achieved this past year!

In the last year I've definitely put out some of my best quality work. I really feel like I've gotten used to creating and using assets to make better backgrounds quicker, and I've been getting more out of gradients now that I've spent some time learning them.

I have also improved on my WebToons processes noticeably. I learned how to use rulers and got a bit better with vectors, which makes it so much easier to do all the weird panel sizes and text bubbles! I think the switch to mono-colour was a good move too. Especially now that I've figured out how to make it a gradient layer.

I'm always learning new features and techniques with Clip Studio, and it's so satisfying to solve a time saving problem. It feels mad how much more I've learned in the last 4 years, despite feeling like I had a pretty good grip with it then!

Another big success for me this year was selling art at Furcation 23! It was my first time selling at a Dealer's Den so I was quite anxious, but everyone was super friendly and I got to chat a bunch~ A fair few people picked up the special Honeybee Gala prints in the Honeybee frames. To those people- I hope it brings you happiness every day! 🐝

I'm all set to run a table again later this year, so come say hi if you're there! I'm super looking forward to it but there is much to prepare. I have a pretty good idea of extra things to bring this time- sticker packs, small prints, acrylics. But there's still a lot to do and there's more I want to draw so it might be a bit of a mad rush getting everything done!

~~~~~

Just a little bit about changes I'm implementing for this next year-

Some of you may have noticed by now that from January I stopped posting my usual monthly newsletter, and this is a decision that I will keep going forward. For the first few years of Colony it seemed like a really good idea to keep a monthly newsletter going so that I could do little recaps on what I had been working on and share my thoughts on how it was all going. However, I kept finding that I didn't always have a huge amount that I was ready to share and when drawing projects ran on over a few months it was causing me a bit of stress and guilt seeing the same thing recurring on my to-do list. Coupled with the time cost of writing a little newsletter every month it started to seem like I was better off drawing instead.

I am definitely trying to gain some confidence with social media and would really like to be comfortable enough dropping small posts with my thoughts every now and then, but for now I want to focus on reducing unnecessary stress and give myself as much drawing time as possible!

I really hope that little updates and WIP posts will be a good way to go. I'm actually pretty bad for forgetting to post things and when I get going with a big project it can end up being the only thing I focus on. I don't really want to trap myself into a routine of forcing myself to post, but I would really like to find a comfy middle ground where I can make a post once or twice a week and boost engagement!

~~~~~

To sign off this Anniversary Newsletter I'd love to give another big Thank You to you all! The past 4 years of Colony artwork have been amazing and I'm so glad to have a setup to work on my little WebToon. I've really come so far since I started digital drawing in 2010 and it's been amazing to work on something meaningful to myself. I really hope I can keep this energy going and expand my audience as I release more episodes!

Wish me luck! 🐝

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here my friend to wish you Happy 911 Eve!! I know I've been AWOL for literal months and I apologize, I blame my psyche activating hibernation mode combined with obsessive deep diving into the RWRB fandom (I highly recommend it if you have time, no repulsive characters being treated as besties and a minimal amount of treating half the ship like they should be eternally grateful the other half even looks at them). But I really wanted to come out of hibernation to celebrate the return, particularly since the chaos generated by Mr. Guzman has been insane. And, I'm sure it won't be all sunshine and roses (even with Tim back at the helm, which I thank all available deities for), but at the worst you haven't had much chance to flex those salt gremlin skills recently so this could be a prime opportunity!! At best, well I still remember the rule, at all costs don't get your hopes up, that way disappointment lies. Still though at least the boys, the show, and the brain rot is back, let's enjoy!!

Oh my god, hiiiiiiiii!!! Seeing this just ABSOLUTELY made my night! I'm so glad you've found some peace and joy! I'm not like, deep in the fandom or anything, but RWRB is a fave book of mine and I adored the movie, it was SO much fun! I've been throwing myself full force into Dimension 20 and having a great time watching improv outshine scripted TV in every way from character development to hitting emotional beats, to narrative payoff.

I was super trying to just put 911 into the background and try and watch casually (HA! My neurodivergent brain could never), but WOW has this week been a LOT. Someone put Ryan back in PR jail for a couple weeks, damn! He's out here stirring up the pot and having a great time getting to have scenes with his bestie again and that's great for him, but HELL for us! I'm also excited to see Tim back (and touted as sole showrunner 🤭) as he's always been good at balancing the cast and keeping their interactions with each other at the heart of the show. But, as we all know, expectations MUST be kept in the ground and it seems like Marisol unfortunately isn't going anywhere fast enough 😒😒😒

ANYWAY, hearing from you was a delightful surprise and I'm ready for the ride, and to indulge my salt gremlin side. (D20 is perfect and so I have nothing bad to say, but sometimes it's nice to be a salty bench about other things!) I can't wait to flail with everyone SOOOON!!

Just remember the sacred words!

[hopefulpenance]

I feel a bit bad that I'm venting constantly about art, because i love it, but I think I have too many words and messes inside, so I'll just put it under.

This blog is gonna end up a diary hahs

I just feel like I'm failing pretty bad, and I'd like to go back when I just drew. I dont consider myself creative, in the sense that I'm not flooded with ideas or concepts. But I had _some_ cool ideas and if not, it was a pretty character or maybe fanart! Nowadays there's nothing, I feel so void-like, and I don't like questioning whether this is the way or not. I know it is, because it's always been this path, I just want to find that one piece that puts me back in enough order to move forward.

Last year I focused a lot on learning and improving, I was very happy doing that, however I fear that so much studying might have done me backwards. Studies with realism are super fun but maybe I ended up burying my artstyle somewhere in the way and now it got super difficult and tiresome to draw. Last week I was feeling like I just no longer know how to draw expressions, basically drawing from my head no longer feels natural and that's making me feel horrible.

I also have this awful fear that it's the tablet that's making it feel so unnatural. If I can't adapt to it, I'd have wasted so much money. And I *have* been feeling like i miss just my old drawing tab + a pc, which could just be me thinking back on that time when I was usually drawing constantly. Blaming the tools is dumb and an excuse, but if it's not and it IS the tablet... it's really sad having a dream set-up as a kid and once you achieve it it just doesn't work for you :-(

I'm pretty sure it's just some form of nostalgia but it's a fear that's been present recently.

I was so excited to get better, I wanted to work on making art that felt like a piece, a full work of art. I was excited to open commissions at some point and all of that seems distant right now. I don't know what more to do, apart from not giving up. That's a given, I'll keep trying. I just wish for something to change, click into place, adjust, anything, I want to make stuff again ( .⁠︵⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠)

There are these drawings I made in 2022 when I was trying out pixel art, and I think they're my favourite stuff I ever made. They've been on my mind lately. I'll put them here cause why not really.

Edit to say, if you read up to here thank you, I post it for myself but it still means a lot. Hope you start next week filled with energy.

[mellow-worlds]

older rants

I kind of want to feel the same way it felt that day my aunt and uncle wouldn't leave me alone and forced me to eat. I don't want that part, but before eating anything, I was probably as close to fainting as ever. I want to faint. Do I? Well, I want people to know I'm unwell. I suppose fainting would be very dramatic. But it would make my issue seem real. It honestly feels a little wring to be so whiny when in reality, nothing much has happened. I'm not being that whiny, but I'm pretending to be super anorexic or whatever, when I'm not. I just don't eat all that much and do intermittent fasting overkill but hahsjs ksjsjbshs I'm fine. I do still have some anorexic traits and thought patterns but that doesn't mean I am anorexic. I havent even been doing this for all that long, maybe 3 weeks?? And honestly, feeling weak is awful. But it'd be real? I just hope the pain doesn't come back. Anorexia is super painful. I hope it doesn't sneak behind my eyelids while I try to sleep and I hope it doesn't make me moan in pain.I'm so jealous of the people who are naturally skinny. I'm so jealous of K. I should eat healthily. Ofc I'm not losing weight if I only eat sugar. And I'll try to exercise at least a little. Hhh. I guess it's a start. And I eat so unhealthily, anything would be an improvement.

I think I have so many toxic traits because of my abysmal self esteem. For example my constant need for validation and attention and in the past my need of some sort of control and wanting to be seen as good and being marvelled at which never happened lmao. But then again, sometimes I do think I'm pretty smart? Evidence says otherwise but sometimes I do feel a little smart. And sometimes I think my face shape is pretty. So maybe my self esteem isn't as bad as I'm claiming it is? Maybe it's not to blame for me being a terrible person?Talking with P today was so nice. It was only short but very very nice. L was also there and we laughed a lot and gosh I like this man so much. I think I'll really just "keep trying". It's fine. We can be friends. Rn I'm not as willing anymore to kms because I talked to G at uni again and it was a lot of fun, but honestly...... yeah no. It's the right thing to do.

Anyway, P looks so good. :) I really do get obsessed too easily. Is it obsession though? I just write about him a lot, I don't necessarily think about him incessantly. He does look very good, especially with his glasses. Today in the lecture, our arms touched just a little bit. And he smells sooooo good. Even his tobacco smells nice somehow. But he also has this other scent that's just so nice. Idk I think I could gush about him for the rest of time. Maybe. I think he's awesome.I really, really enjoyed talking to him and L. And I hope to talk more with L in the future in general. And ofc I wish I never stopped talking to P. I wish he liked me. Istg I'm trying. I'm trying to be better and prettier. I wish I was good enough for like literally anything. I'm not really anything and not good enough yo be anything. I wish I was skinny so P could have half a reason to like me.I saw that there's scars on L's arm. They looked artificial, but also well healed and I couldn't really get a good look. I don't really know what to make of this. She doesn't seem like the type of person to hurt herself, she's too sweet. But I suppose I shouldn't try to deny it? And I guess that ultimately, it doesn't affect me. She seems really happy now, I don't think I have to be worried. Makes me wonder what people would think about my scars. Luckily, so far no one really seems to have noticed. Maybe this one girl from my old class. Or A and J. Definitely no one from uni :). Sucks enough that my sisters know. I also wonder how people will react when I kms. I suppose I also don't seem like the type of person to do so. Momentarily, I'm super happy. Yk, when I get to talk to friends. It turn to shit the minute I'm left to myself. And this morning, thinking about P, it really made me sad. He'll never like me. It's fine. Just sad. I shouldn't be sad about things i could expect. Still am. Oh well.