#this was finished in like. july/august but i went on vacation and never posted

[mistreil]

verti (AU) - based on the national theater of korea's macbeth posters

[angst-in-space]

july '24 writing progress

words written: 13.5k

most words written in a day: 1,115

least words written in a day: 0

yearly total: 79.1k

projects worked on:

ya sci-fi book rewrites

finished a draft of the soukoku oneshot!

started writing the bsd regency au!

finished editing & posted the last chapter of sylvix dreamscape fic!

sylvix pacific rim au

works published in july:

you're a dream (i'm never waking up) - chapter 10 (fe3h / sylvix)

july goals

meet my camp nano goal of 30k words for the month / approx. 1k a day

finish ya sci-fi book rewrites? haha? *laughs through my tears*

finish first draft of soukoku oneshot

start a first draft of bsd regency au

implement beta feedback for sylvix dreamscape fic ch 10 and post

august goals

f-finish ya sci-fi book rewrites?? for real this time?? 🥹

keep up with goal of approx. 1k per day for 40k in 42 days challenge

edit (maybe post?) skk oneshot

make some progress on bsd regency au

maybeeee update one of my other multichap fics that i haven't updated in a long time?

perhaps work on some other fic?

notes:

july was pretty hectic for me... i went on 3 trips this month (a family reunion, a family vacation, and a wedding) so there was a lot going on, plus work was busy etc. etc. so honestly i'm patting myself on the back for getting anything done at all. i did not reach my goal of writing 30k or even getting halfway to it but THAT'S OK!! this was (i think?) my second-most productive month of the year so far, so that's impressive!

i stiiiiillll am working on ya sci-fi book rewrites, but am just finishing up the big climactic chapter. and the three remaining chapters after that are fairly short and not as complicated, sooo maybe i can get those done this month? 🤞

i actually got quite a bit done fic-wise during july! most notably, I FINALLY FINISHED EDITING AND POSTING THE LAST CHAPTER OF SYLVIX DREAMSCAPE FIC!! which took me over a year to post, oops. it had been about 4 years since i started that fic, so posting the final chapter was an emotional experience—but i'm really glad i stuck with it, and seeing people's reactions and kind comments has made me really happy. 🥹

i also finished a draft of my soukoku oneshot! it's about 7k and there are a few parts i want to edit, but i'm hoping i can get that done & posted sometime this month. i also started writing the bsd regency au (which is a joint soukoku & shin soukoku fic)—really excited for this one bc i've been planning it for months. probably will not be done with it for umm a Very Long Time but glad to have at least started it, and hope to get a chunk of it done during august.

i'd also like to work on a few fics i've had on the backburner... both in terms of writing and editing/posting. i hope to continue writing some other fics, mainly the sylvix pacific rim au (which i did work a bit on in july!) and i hope to maybe update some older fics as well since i have a huge backlog of stuff i haven't posted... oops. i'm trying to kinda just have fun posting my fics again and not let my perfectionism get to me too much. after all, i write fic bc i want others to enjoy it!

oh yes also some friends and i are taking on the 40k in 42 days challenge which seems super fun and helpful! i'm not sure if i can write the full 40k but i am definitely gonna try and hope some good progress comes out of it!

thanks for reading and wishing everyone a wonderful august 💖

[little-peril-stories]

Camp Nano July 2023

How It Went

Um, not how I expected.

The good:

I managed to write every day. I'll confess here that, because we went on vacation and were all over the place most days, I sometimes updated my word count for the day, wrote more, and saved that 'update' for the next day because I like getting the badges. (All the writing was done in July though! I did all the outlining and planning work between February and June, but I didn't start writing till July 1.)

My outline was helpful. I didn't spend a lot of time agonizing over "what happens next" because I always knew, even if the specifics were a little fuzzy. My process boils down to 'plan hard, but allow for deviation & exploration' and it seems like that is still a system that works for me.

Some of the writing was OK. I mean, it's a writing challenge and I was going fast. She gonna need work. But I often smiled while I was writing, or when I was rereading scenes, and that's a good indicator for me. :)

The , uh, well, you see:

I wasn't always feeling it. Trying to track exactly why I felt this way has been tough. I'm willing to admit it could have been burnout (or something adjacent to it) since Camp Nano began right on the heels of the end of the school year, and I had just finished the whirlwind of writing The Queen of Lies in a month, a Thing That Happened that we may never understand. Maybe I started planning too early and the passion had faded since the height of my enthusiasm as I plotted it out. Idk. Maybe it was being on vacation, constantly being around people and having limited time to myself to really feel the story and the words and the everything. Idk.

The romantic tension isn't there. And this one hurts, because I (personally, as someone who is actually really new to writing romantic tension lol) think I did this really well in TQOL, so what's different here? (Aside from diff characters, diff story, okay I get it, you know what I mean.)

I was distracted. And this one is purely my fault. I was editing chapters of TQOL for posting throughout this time, too, and even though it takes a different kind of brainpower, it was often the task that called to me more.

Overall:

So, I'm SUPER proud of myself for achieving my Camp Nano goal of 31,000 words (1000 words/day) on July 28. But I kind of wonder if maybe it wasn't quite the right time to write this story.

We'll see how the last three days of July go (I want them badges, dang it), but the true test will be in August, when I have no goal set for myself. Will I focus on the finally finishing Book 1 and letting humans read it? Will I just work on TQOL? Will angsty heist wip rise again? Or will the passion for Book 2 (which I was SO EXCITED TO WRITE) return the moment the daily word goal is gone? (lol what a joke we all know I'm gonna write Will's POV chapters for TQOL.)

Thanks for reading this pointless ramble.

[cupcraft]

Inspired by this post I wanna do a year in review tho honestly it's gonna be boring

January: worst block ever, 100% virtual school again, mental break downs

February: failed my first exam in grad school yikes and felt like I was exploding

March: pulled it back and passed the class and brought myself up to B range yippee (my classes are pass fail 70 is passing for reference) and left the hardest block to never look at again (until the standardized test ig...)

April may and 1/2 june: school honestly and lots of issues with how poorly taught the last block in June was

Other half june: vacation to write fics and the lab rotation that would become my PI for my thesis!! Great experience lovely time. The technoblade stuff :( affected me quite a bit.

July: my other lab rotation. Terrible awful no good time for 1000 reasons most of all that they wanted me to keep working during the semester post rotation and I had several email arguments srsly. Idk when the apps were but I think this is when I got accepted to dreamoire zine.

August: zine writing, terrible block once more but passing a okay I guess kinda sorta.

September: final for this block killed us all so bad, still zine writing but also maybe thos is close to the dsmp poem zine acceptance (I forget exactly timing). Entered long hard block

October: in my long hard block and learned a lot honestly. Thesis meetings. Doing those zines. I'm so boring. Think I also started my ccrime gas stationverse series here

November: honestly this was a rough time mental health wise, fandom wise, school wise. I ultimately went on medication for the first time. Passed the hardest block. Got back into the writing swing and finished dreamoire stuff I think...

December (what's been so far): finishes my longest fic ever, meds working really well I'm a lot happier, on break finally, gonna start standardized test studying, and finishes dsmp poem zines. Doing good. Osmp return + wine stream happiness. Fandom anniversary too.

Thanks for being here with me followers and beloved moots.

[rovingpixels]

A look back at the year

JANUARY

I started playing with the characters in this story in mid-December and posting it in my Instagram Story. I had no intentions to do anything with it long-term; it was just a way to play, low pressure, but I still had the compulsion to share! By mid-January, I was so attached to the characters, I gave them their own account.

 FEBRUARY

It took a couple weeks to get through the early posts and I started with original content in February. The first thing we did was take a summer vacation to Selvadorado. Axl has a (random) jungle explorer aspiration so it seemed like a good idea. He loved it! Noe was poisoned and almost died! 

MARCH

We made family portraits on the afternoon of Harvestfest. I really do love these kids! This was never the plan for the game/story but Noe kept getting abducted! 

APRIL

Antonia had been abducted a couple times and I finally thought it’d be fun to follow her. I had some ideas about the aliens that I wanted to explore and I was telling the story primarily through her eyes at the time so it was necessary. 

MAY

Her abduction left Antonia feeling out of control so when she was offered a job outside the home, she jumped on it even though she was doing well as a painter on her own. I found a photo of the inspo building while cleaning out my phone recently and though, oh, that’s Antonia’s workplace. No, it’s my college studio building! The job meant Stevie went into daycare, which seemed to suit him – he’s outgoing and doesn’t mind his disguise. Antonia’s meeting new people! But she’s in hot water with the woman who runs the women’s arts cooperative in Finchwick which Antonia also recently joined. When we finish the flashback, she’ll have all that and more to deal with. 

JUNE

I never remember to get married in this game. It just doesn’t occur to me! But Noe has been bugging Antonia for a while and on Winterfest night, he finally made a grand gesture proposal in the Ruins while they were both wearing ugly holiday sweaters! When we get back to present day, we’ll be planning a wedding. I’ve already picked out the dress! 

JULY

While I waited for High School Years to come out (Axl will be in his final semester of his senior year!), I decided to do a short flashback to flesh out how Antonia and Noe met and their early days. And here we are. 

AUGUST

 Noe calls Antonia “bud” and a new nickname is spawned! They’ve fallen into an easy friendship by this point. Also, hottie!

SEPTEMBER

Their relationship is growing and they’re starting to have real romantic feelings. Antonia decides to get rid of her long-distance boyfriend. Noe trusts her with some uncomfortable details about his past. And they dance!

OCTOBER

We’re off on yet another tangent with a spooky tale for Halloween! The plan was to have a post each hour from noon to midnight on Halloween. I ended up posting a few days into the next month. I’ll start earlier next time! Although in the end, it was revealed as a campfire story that Noe told, there are some clues about his ancestry in the post.

NOVEMBER

At the summer carnival, Antonia assures Noe that her intentions toward him are serious. They enjoy spending time together in a different setting and they learn new things about each other.

DECEMBER

Finally! The anonymous boyfriend is dumped, other obstacles are cleared, and we get some intense kisses and more! Much more! 

2023

What comes next? There’s still a few things to establish in the flashback. I’m resisting the urge to play the flashback through Axl’s babyhood – we’ll see. I do love these characters as young ones and it would be interesting to explore the mess I’ve dropped on their plate, but this is also a good breaking point to go back from. 

When we return, it will be to Axl’s senior year, some conflict for the twins, Antonia and Noe both wrangling in their jobs, and wedding planning! 

In the immediate future, I have to my game is in desperate need of updating and probably repairing. And I finally need to get High School Years! 

If you’ve read this far, it’s fun simming with you! Happy New Year! 

[renjanachandrakanta]

Chapter 7: The End

Life's been good.

This morning i saw a tiktok video where a girl told the public that her therapist said if your first 2 years of college is worse, then the next 2 years will be amazing or vice versa. I agree.

Here i am, sitting in my sister's room writing about how amazing my last 2 years of college starting from 2022. Spesifically in the chapter 7.

In this chapter, i came back to Bogor in July 2023 for a skill competency test after finishing my first internship. It was a rough week but I passed. I started to join my friend group from freshman year that I've been avoiding in 2021, we studied together, we even `idid sleepover.

Starting from August, I did my second internship for another 6 months in Jakarta. I met Mba Sheryl and Natasya that moment.

In the end of 2023, I met Salma, my JPTB group friend from Klaten. I got to have quality time with Halida, my highschool chairmate, and Ina, my highschool bestfriend the other day. I hung out with Daffa and Qaani too, my Magfood buddies. What feels more magical is i got the chance to meet Sandra, my long-lost childhood friend for the first time after dozen years.

I moved to Bogor after finishing the internship. I moved in to a new house with a girl from my major that I've never befriend with. It happened randomly and we clicked well.

In the end of February, I took Rani to Jakarta. There, we met Abey for the first time. Yes, its the Rani and Abey I talked about in my blog post when I was a child. The Amanda Atma Pamabel and the Amalia Maharani Izzati. We didn't plan to spend 3 days together but we did. It was purely the happiest moment after a long time. I got to introduce my boyfriend to my long distance bestfriend too.

At the beginning of March, me and my college group friend went to Bandung for vacation. It happened spontaneously with short time of preparation. Lots of fun and good picts.

Ramadhan comes, me and my kostmate named Putri (the girl from my major) decided to sell food in front of the house. I provide pudding i made myself and donut. I started small business too with Qaani and Adin (selling donuts) to earn money.

I begin to do sports like yoga, running, and badminton. Me and my boyfriend started to be invited for badminton together with my JMP friends. Now, Adam and I have been together for 2 years, we celebrate our 2nd anniversary right in 23rd of March with Nasi Kandar, chocolate drink, and deep talk at Bhumi. That night was my last night in Bogor chapter 7 before heading to Banjarmasin the next day.

Last, I finally got my dream phone and feel the love my parents gave me. My siblings welcomed me cheerfully.

By coming back home, I have officially closed the 7th chapter of my college life. Next month, i will go back for my thesis seminar (i'm on my final semester and doing skripsi) and the graduation preparation. I guess next chapter will be my last chapter of uni.

Life's getting good, surprisingly. Of course after the hardest first 2 years i experienced. I manage to handle the newest version of myself, and I have acknowledge another colour of my life.

[killjoyhistoryarchive]

“Conventional Weapons” and the Rocky Road to “Danger Days”

In 2009, My Chemical Romance was buzzing with activity. The band performed several shows and festivals (including Summer Sonic in Japan), Gerard and Mikey Way attended San Diego Comic Con, and The Umbrella Academy was named one of Amazon’s top comics of 2009. Ray Toro held a Whopper eating contest on the official MCR website (no joke), while a certain comic series written by Gerard Way and Shaun Simon was announced in August. And at a show at the Roxy in Los Angeles, MCR performed three new songs from their upcoming album.

But while their next album seemed easily slated for an early 2010 release, MCR was about to hit a series of hurdles that would leave them with a scrapped album, a lost drummer, and a totally new outlook on where their music was headed.

On July 31st, 2009, MCR performed a set at the Roxy that included three new songs–“Kiss The Ring,” “The Drugs,” and “Death Before Disco.” Gerard was enthusiastic about the new tracks, even telling Rolling Stone that “Death Before Disco” was “the greatest song we’ve ever written.” Videos of the tracks soon appeared online, where fans eagerly devoured what they thought would be the follow-up to 2006’s The Black Parade.

As the days and weeks went on, the media blitz kicked into high-gear. While Ray Toro posted short studio clips on MCR’s website, the band gave several interviews where they gushed about producer Brendan O'Brien, discussed their new stripped-down style, and claimed that this would be their best record yet. In an interview with MTV, Gerard described the still-untitled album as a “true love letter to rock and roll,” adding:

“There’s something about being an American rock-and-roll band that we’ve kind of grown into and we’re very proud of. And I think that’s what we’re celebrating with this record. There’s no agenda, there’s no mission; it’s just about rock and roll.”

Meanwhile, Gerard Way and close friend Shaun Simon had another surprise in store: a comic series called "Killjoys.” Dark Horse Comics announced the release at San Diego Comic Con. Jeremy Atkins, the Dark Horse Director of Public Relations, described “Killjoys” as “a psychedelic rock-and-roll road trip adventure geared toward both fans of The Umbrella Academy and My Chemical Romance.” But not much else was said about the comic, as MCR’s upcoming album had become Gerard’s top priority.

As the album drew closer to completion, MCR gave fans more glimpses of what lay in store. They shared the titles of various tracks, including “Still Alive,” “Trans Am,” “Hail To The King,” “Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back," “L.A. Heavy,” "The Only Hope For Me Is You,” and “Black Dragon Fighting Society.” They cited a variety of influences, including Queen, Judas Priest, Bruce Springsteen, The Killers, and Blade Runner. By all accounts, this was going to be MCR’s defining album.

In December, MCR previewed seven tracks for SPIN magazine. A month later, in January of 2010, the album–which was still untitled–was rumored to be released on March 30th. As they continued to rework the songs, they realized that the stripped-down sound wasn’t working. As NME reported in January:

Things turned around with a song called “Trans Am,” now renamed "Bullet Proof Heart,” the likely first single. And perversely, they did it by returning to fiction. Broadly, it’s about a boy in New Jersey, dressed in a Judas Priest T-shirt, called Johnny. And a girl called Jenny who might be his girlfriend, but who also (honk the pop fact sirens!) might also be the missing girl from “Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine” by The Killers.

But in the same interview, Gerard restated that the album would give "the purest, best version of the band you could ever hope for.” And in early February, MCR finally started to wrap up production, telling Big Cheese that the album would probably be released in spring or summer.

“Killjoys” also looked promising–back in January, Scott Allie had reported in a blog post that Shaun Simon and Becky Cloonan were ready to get started. Once Gerard wrapped up the album and finished working on the Umbrella Academy movie screenplay, it seemed like he’d be ready to dive in.

But February was also when the band publicly stumbled for the first time.

Before the Big Cheese interview, MCR had abruptly cancelled their appearance at the Soundwave festival in Australia. In a blog post on MCR’s website, Frank claimed that Gerard was having voice problems (he jokingly implied that it was due to coffee and cigarettes) and required treatment to make a full recovery.

Fans were disappointed, but most understood that it couldn’t be helped. But a month later, the fandom received another shock: MCR’s drummer Bob Bryar had departed the band. In another blog post, Frank told fans:

As of 4 weeks ago, My Chemical Romance and Bob Bryar parted ways. This was a painful decision for all of us to make and was not taken lightly. We wish him the best of luck in his future endeavors and expect you all to do the same. We also wanted to give you all a quick heads up on how the record is progressing. We have been writing some very powerful new songs so this week the four of us entered the studio once again, and what has been ending up on tape each night is some of the most exciting and honest work we have ever created.

The fandom was stunned. Clearly, MCR had been experiencing some behind-the-scenes turmoil, suggesting that the process wasn’t going as smoothly as fans had thought. While it wasn’t known at the time, they also parted ways with producer Brendan O'Brien, who had been hired specifically to channel their raw, back-to-basics sound. Where would MCR go from here? And when would fans hear the latest album–which was apparently undergoing rewrites once again?

It wasn’t until late 2010 that fans would finally learn what had happened to this unreleased album.

This moment, says frontman Gerard Way, looking back on what went wrong, “was the hardest part”. Guitarist Ray Toro was “home dealing with some family things”, leaving Way, his bassist brother Mikey, and guitarist Frank Iero alone in the mixing studio. “The sinking feeling was really starting to become loud that it wasn’t right - that the record wasn’t finished, I couldn’t even put them in a track order … "Thinking about it now, it’s kind of upsetting, because I just felt so lost,” Gerard says.

This was discussed in an interview with Herald Sun, where they talked about the process of starting again after the departure of their drummer and producer. Speaking to Music Radar, Ray Toro talked about the struggles the band had with original producer Brendan O'Brien, admitting that it hadn’t gone as well as they once thought:

“He was really trying; he did the best he could with us. He knew things weren’t clicking, and he’d try to rally us. I remember he said, ‘Hey, on some songs, I’d love to hear you do what you did on The Black Parade.’ Because there wasn’t any of the harmonized guitar parts or the stacking that I usually do. He was trying to get us to make one record, and we wanted to make something totally different.

Musically, we wanted to go back to our basement. But just because we wanted to do something different didn’t make it easy. In many ways, we felt as though we were holding ourselves back creatively. We were going through the motions. Some of the songs were good, but we weren’t happy with all of them.”

Needing a break, Gerard took a vacation to the desert that surrounded Los Angeles. There, as he told Terminal 5, he realized “I had started the band after 9/11 when I hated art. Black Parade had been about hiding and punishment. I couldn’t tell the truth so I’d talk about cancer instead. I had to put on a mask to show people who I really was. But now it was time to own it. To be who I was before this band started. And I had something in my back pocket: this song, ‘Na Na Na.’”

Reunited with producer Rob Cavallo, who had worked on The Black Parade, the band kicked things off with “Na Na Na.” Gerard and Shaun Simon’s comic “Killjoys,” once a separate side project that had nothing to do with the band, suddenly became the concept that they formed the album around. Fueled by fresh creative energy, the band wrote and re-wrote tracks, came up with concepts and characters like Dr. Death Defying, and shredded the limitations that had confined them. At one point, Gerard turned to his brother Mikey and said “Danger Days, here we come again!”

Not everything from the previous record was scrapped. “Trans Am” became “Bulletproof Heart”; “Death Before Disco” became “Party Poison.” A few new versions of old tracks appeared on the record, as well as the Mad Gear and Missile Kid EP that came later. But MCR’s fourth album had gone from a rock and roll record that deliberately avoided ambitious storylines, to a vividly realized concept album that invited fans into the world of post-apocalyptic California. In many ways, it was the opposite of what they had originally planned. And it seemed to be exactly what they had been looking for.

During this time, Frank snapped in-studio photos that he sold on MCR’s official website, offering one-of-a-kind peeks into the recording process. In March, Mikey Way stated in a blog post that “One day you will wake up, and nothing will ever be the same again, but it’ll feel like an old friend.” He was talking about upcoming changes to the MCR website, but in a way that statement reflected the band’s process at the time–they had completely reinvented themselves, and yet there was still a certain familiarity in the old tracks they had revamped.

The band completed the album with fresh energy, offering sporadic updates in the coming months. Fans waited with some skepticism to see what MCR had in store. And finally, one day in early September, MCR’s website disappeared and was replaced with a mysterious transmitter. The Danger Days era had begun.

But was the scrapped album hidden away, never to be heard again? Not quite.

In 2012, in a blog post on MCR’s website, Frank talked about the feelings of depression that he had faced after The Black Parade. He felt like MCR had done it all, leaving them with nothing left to accomplish. In November 2008, Gerard called him up to talk about the band. As new ideas took shape, they prepared to start recording the album that would eventually be scrapped after months of work.

Frank pointed out that while the band had limited themselves during the recording of this album, the songs weren’t inherently bad–in fact, some of them were among his favorites that the band had produced. As time passed, he developed a greater appreciation for the tracks. And when the band met up and listened to those songs, they decided to release a selection of tracks to the public–two tracks a month for the next five months, for a total of ten.

After all this time, the album finally had a title: Conventional Weapons. Tracks included “Kiss The Ring,” “The World Is Ugly,” “Surrender The Night,” and the fan-favorite “The Light Behind Your Eyes.” Listening to the tracks, it was clear that MCR had aimed for a rock album with a pure American sound–no ambitious concepts or storylines, just a set of killer tracks. Whether they succeeded is up to the listener to decide, but they provided some insight into what came before Danger Days.

Due to its unconventional release, and the fact that the album was a series of random tracks and not a finished product, Conventional Weapons is not considered an “official” MCR album. But while Danger Days was the final album, Conventional Weapons was the final release before MCR broke up in 2013. Since the split, the release of CW has caused many fans to wonder–will My Chemical Romance’s fifth (and unreleased) album ever be shared in a similar fashion? Or will it be locked away forever, like the other CW tracks that were never released?

Only time will tell. But for now, Conventional Weapons serves as an intriguing part of MCR’s history–a time when the band set out to make one type of album, and ended up making the complete opposite.

(Picture credits: 1 2 3. Other in-studio photos by Frank Iero.)

[Originally published 07.09.2017]

[eralisse]

Brothers Conflict: Passion Pink - Kaname route - Main Scene 9 - Vacation Day 2

It has been a very long time since I last posted anything. I had left the Brothers Conflict fandom and then recently came back, and then restarted playing Passion Pink and Kaname’s route (since I never finished it before). So I guess I’ll start off with a scene translation.

This is the second day of the Asahina family’s summer vacation, when everyone goes out searching for Wataru. I very recently got my hands on the light novels, and I can safely say that the game has more dialogue lines in the identical segments. (The novel has more narration around the dialogue.)

Brothers Conflict Translations Index

Main Scene 9: Vacation Day 2

August 12 (Thursday)

Juli: Today’s the second day of the family vacation, isn’t it?

Ema: Yeah. I’m going to enjoy it wholeheartedly!

Juli: What do you plan to do today, Chi?

Ema: First, I think I’ll head to the ocean. What will you do, Juli?

Juli: I’m still sleepy, so I’ll be at the cottage. Be careful out there.

Ema: Yeah, will do. Anyway, I’m off.

---

(Mm, the sea breeze certainly feels nice.)

Masaomi: Hey!

Ema: Masaomi-san… What’s going on, you seem panicked?

Masaomi: Have you seen Wataru?

Ema: Hm? Wataru-chan? No, I haven’t seen him… Um… What’s happened with Wataru-chan?

Masaomi: The truth is, I haven’t seen him in a while.

Ema: Oh!? Since when?

Masaomi: He had breakfast with everyone. But, after that…

Ema: Oh no, he couldn’t have gone to the ocean by himself…!?

Masaomi: No, we come here every year, and he’s been told strongly to play only in the shallows, so I think he should be alright from that…

Ema: …

Masaomi: … Sorry, I’ve made you anxious.

Ema: No. Anyway, let’s split up and search! [**1]

Masaomi: Yes, thank you.

---

Kaname: What’s up? Has something happened?

Ema: It seems like Wataru-chan hasn’t been seen in a while… Just now, I was talking with Masaomi-san about splitting up and searching.

Kaname: ...! Got it. We’ll work with you. Azusa, go back to the cottage, and tell Kyo-nii and Iori about this. Tsubaki, go give a shout to Subaru and Yuusuke, then Rui.

Azusa: Understood.

Tsubaki: Alright.

(What should I do…?)

[Choice: Search the boardwalk]

Ema: If I recall correctly, there’s a boardwalk nearby, right? I’ll go look over there!

Kaname: No… You should go back to the cottage.

Ema: What…? Why!?

Kaname: There was a forecast for rain in the afternoon, and also, you’re not familiar with the surroundings?

Ema: But! When everyone else is searching together, for me to sit around waiting, I can’t do that! Because… Because Wataru-chan is my little brother!

Kaname: …

Ema: …

Kaname: *sigh*... Fine. In exchange, you’re coming with me. We’ll search the boardwalk together.

Ema: Okay!

---

Ema: Wataru-chan!

Kaname: Wataru--!

(Wataru-chan… In this rain, where did you go…?)

Ema: … Achoo!

Kaname: Imouto-chan. You okay?

Ema: Y-yes…

Kaname: The rain got heavier than before, hasn’t it? Don’t force yourself.

Ema: I-I’m fine…! A-achoo!

Kaname: Being this soaked, and sneezing like that… How is that “fine”?

Ema: … I’m fine! Until we find Wataru-chan, I’m not going back!

Kaname: … For crying out loud, you… You’re more stubborn than I expected.

Ema: Hm…?

[Kaname wraps an arm around Ema.]

(He… he’s hugging me…!?)

Ema: K-Kaname-san…?

Kaname: … As I thought, your body is completely chilled…

Ema: …!

(The strength of his arm around me, his body temperature, my heart is pounding from them… This pounding… Kaname-san is my brother, so why is this feeling…) [**2]

Kaname: … Thank you. Even though it’s gotten like this, you’re still searching for Wataru frantically.

Ema: Th-that’s because Wataru-chan is my little brother…!

Kaname: Yeah, that’s true. But you know. To me, you are my precious little sister. That’s why, I don’t want you to force yourself. …Got it?

(Th-that’s…)

Ukyo: Kaname!!

(That voice was Ukyo-san!? Oh, I accidentally shook off Kaname-san’s arm…)

Ukyo: I see you’ve searched all the way over here.

Kaname: Has something happened, Kyo-nii?

Ukyo: Yes. Wataru’s been found. Everyone’s already returned to the cottage, so you two should also hurry and warm up inside. You must be frozen from the rain, aren’t you?

Kaname: Ahh, he’s been found, that’s good.

(... Even though Kaname-san is acting like nothing has happened, I’m still a bit embarrassed, and can’t look at him…)

Ukyo: … Ema-san? Your face seems a little red… Oh no, you haven’t gotten a fever from the rain…?

Ema: I- I’m fine! Anyway, let’s hurry back to the cottage!!

Ukyo: Is that so? Then let’s be off.

(... During the time I didn’t know where Wataru-chan was, my heart was pounding from Kaname-san… and I was somewhat insensitive… But…)

---

Wataru: … I’m really sorry.

Masaomi: Yes, but it’s good that you’re not hurt and nothing bad happened to you.

Kaname:Well? What were you doing and where?

Iori: He was playing hide-and-seek with her pet, and fell asleep.

Tsubaki: Oiii, you. You’re a kid, so don’t be wandering off as you please all by yourself, yeah?

Ema: It’s okay, Tsubaki-san.

Wataru: … Hmph.

Azusa: … Wataru?

Wataru: I’m not a kid anymore.

Tsubaki: Playing hide-and-seek and falling asleep, you’re definitely still a kid.

Wataru: … That’s not true.

Ukyo: But everybody got frantic and was searching for you, you know? Do you understand that?

Wataru: … Yes, I’m sorry.

Ukyo: Since you’ve caused everyone such trouble, I’ll definitely be getting help from you for dinner preparations, right?

Wataru: …!! Y-yes!!

(Ukyo-san’s punishment looks strict… Wataru-chan, you can do it!)

---

Ema: Ah…! Subaru-san. The jacket I borrowed yesterday got soaked, so I’ll return it to you after I do laundry. After you went to the trouble of lending it to me, sorry about that. [*1]

Subaru: Ahh... It’s fine. You must be tired from today. Take a break.

(Oh, I don’t think Subaru-san has ever been so kind before…?) 

Ema: Still, I must apologize… Ah, if it’s alright, I’ll wash your wet clothes as well? Here, please undress!

Subaru: Wha-!? S-stop…

Wataru: Onee-chan? Isn’t taking off clothes for having fun at night?

Ema: … Ehhh!!??

Kaname: *snigger*

Subaru: Y-you! What on earth just came out of Wataru’s mouth…!

Ema: You’ve got it wrong! That wasn’t me, I didn’t say anything…!! [**3]

Kamame: Ahahahaha!

Ema: KA-NA-ME-SAN…!

Kaname: Aha, ahaha! Sorry, but it’s just so funny…!

Ema: … You’re laughing too much.

(Argh, that Kaname…!)

Kaname: Haha! Imouto-chan, you can leave the laundry for today. Take it easy together with us?

(Even though a lot of things happened today… it was good to be able to work together with everyone. I hope tomorrow is another good day!)

----------------

Notes:

1. The “No” has a “Don’t worry about it“ connotation.

2. Where I have “heart is pounding”, the text is “doki doki”. So the connotation has more nervous/butterflies in stomach/blushing/etc in it.

3. ”I didn’t say anything” is more like “I didn’t say anything to teach Wataru that.”

In the last section, Wataru is quoting what Kaname said during the previous vacation day, when Ema changes to her swimsuit, but Subaru objects and gives her his jacket. In Kaname’s route, and in the novel, Kaname asks what’s up with the (ugly) jacket and tries to take it off her/persuade her to take it off. Wataru asks why he’s trying to take off her jacket, and Kaname responds with something like “Ah, right. Undressing is for after the kids go to bed. Then we can have some nighttime fun!”. The novel dialogue stops right after Ema says that she didn’t say anything, and Kaname is absent in that scene. Personally, I think the game closes the loop on this scene a lot better.

4. In the scene with Kaname and Ema out in the rain, I had the translation as Kaname hugging Ema with one arm, because I assumed they would need to keep moving. (There’s no plurals; it’s just the character for “arm” but could mean either “arm” or “arms” and is not specific.) However, the novel has a picture of them full-stop, face-to-face hugging. Really, you two? Wataru could be drowning for all you know-- KEEP MOVING. Although, I suppose given Kaname’s line about not wanting her to push herself too hard, it also makes sense for them to stop?

5. When Kaname is taking charge of the search efforts, Ema has slightly more to say here than in the novel. Here, she’s like “what kind of person do you think I am to sit around while you’re all looking for Wataru”. But in the book, all she says is “Because Wataru is my brother.” Then, in both versions, the two have a staring contest that Kaname concedes. I like the game dialogue better, but Ema’s strong front is a bit ruined in the following sequence.

6. Another change is that in the game, it’s Ukyo who finds them in the rain. But in the novel, it’s Tsubaki, and he literally only says two things: “Kana-nii!” and “We found Wataru!”. None of Ukyo’s mothering.

----------------

Comments:

Is this fandom still alive? Not that there were that many fans of Kaname that I could tell... He’s still best boi/man, great character, and the only reason I’m revisiting this fandom. I wish there was more fan fiction/art for him... *sigh*

Lastly, from the various discussions I’ve read over the years, there doesn’t seem to be a clear reason for why Kaname falls in love with her? My thought is that he falls in love with her during this sequence, when she goes out of her way to go look for Wataru. To those of you a little more familiar with the novels, the most important thing to Kaname is his family. In the following scene, when Kaname and Ema take a walk on the beach, Kaname has a line that translates to “Today, you so desperately searched for Wataru... If anything ever happens to you, I’ll come save you. Thank you (for what you did today). That a girl like you is my sister, I think is truly great.”

[lunasilvermorny]

The Summer of Muggles

It’s finally here - and it was all my idea!

Kidding...

First of all - I’m so glad to see that anyone is that invested in anything related to my headcanon ^^ So thanks anon for giving me the motivation to finally make that post!

That being said...Here’s the thing.

When I made the "Summer of Muggles", it was just something I made for myself, to figure things out, so it involved zero research. And as someone who's never personally been to the UK, I probably got a lot of things wrong and Americanized the hell out of everything. Anyway, for me to post it, I need to do a proper research and I'm just not invested enough in it to dedicate the time and energy that will make it happen.

That means that the full thing will just stay as something I wrote for myself.

However...!

I can summarize it for you. (and by summarize, I mean - make a very long and detailed post about it.)

(I realized that the drawing I made about the Summer of Muggles is almost a year old, so I’ve decided to redraw it... It’s really encouraging to see how much I’ve improved since last year.)

0. Introduction:

For Luna's 14th birthday (it's in December, so she was still in her 4th year), her mother bought her a car that Luna named Oliver. Luna's muggle grandma has taught her how to drive (the first time she let her sit behind the wheel was when she was only 8 y.o.!), and she really loves muggle technology in general, so it was the perfect gift for her.

When Luna came back for the summer vacation between her 4th and 5th year, she's decided to go on a road trip across the UK with Oliver. The car had a magical protection that prevented muggle-cops from approaching it, so Luna was able to drive around without a license. She also looked older than she was (mostly because of her height), so she didn't draw any attention to herself whenever she got in and out of the car.

She drove around, especially next to coastlines, parked next to beaches and slept in the car. During her trip she met many muggles, but a selected few actually traveled with her for a portion of it.

You can divide her trip into 4 major sections:

The first week (the adjustment period)

The end of July

The first three days of August

The rest of August

Okay, let’s dive in!

----

1. The first week (around mid-July)

She spent most of the time getting used to sleep in her car and go to public places for basic needs like food, bathroom, laundry etc.

The most memorable event during this week was when she met a group of people that were on their way to a rock-concert when their car broke down. So she gave them a ride and in return they've sneaked her in.

----

2. The end of July

That's when she met Pete and Lynn - fraternal twins that just finished high school and wanted to have a small taste of freedom before going to uni. She met them while she stumbled across a forest party for their graduation.

Most people there were too wasted to notice her, but they saw her almost immediately and started a conversation with her. So they drank, danced and talked for hours. They were also the only muggles that figured out she's a witch. (Well, almost... you’ll see why in the next section.) Lynn has noticed her wand and they told her that their little sister is also a witch that just finished her first year at Hogwarts. After the party was interrupted by the cops, Lynn and Pete asked her if they can join her for the trip, and without any second though she agreed.

They mostly went to parties and got drunk in different places for the rest of the month, and had a lot of fun together.

--

3. The first three days of August

After arriving at a small town and sitting in the local pub, Luna’s identity as a witch was discovered and she had to use Obliviate on the muggles in the pub to keep it a secret. Because they were in the middle or nowhere essentially, a wizard from the Ministry of Magic arrived shortly after to see if a minor used magic there. Luna, Lynn and Pete hid in the car, and once the wizard got in the pub, drove away in a hurry.

Knowing that she needs a strong alibi in case they found out it was her that used magic, Luna left Lynn and Pete with Oliver next to a small forest outside of the town and flew in her owl form to her parents’ house, but when she saw that the wizard got there before her and was already talking to her father, she's decided to fly to the Weasleys instead. She got there in the middle of the night and woke up Bill to ask for his help.

In the early morning the wizard from the Ministry arrived at the Weasleys’ house and was greeted by Luna and Bill, although Mrs. Weasley joined them shortly after he got there. When she saw her son was telling the wizard that Luna has been staying there for more than a week and never left their house, she supported their story, even before she was sure why they're lying about it.

The wizard said that he found a letter addressed to her in the pub (oh right, I forgot to mention that while in the pub, Charlie Brown showed up with a letter from Rowan, and with the whole fuss surrounding her being a witch, she hasn’t noticed when she dropped it.) but Luna kept insisting she was never there.

The wizard left eventually and Luna found out later on that her father made the problem “disappear” and that's why she got away with it.

She stayed there for a couple of hours and gave Mrs. Weasley a not-really-convincing explanation for what happened, but Mrs. Weasley chose to trust her eldest son and his reasons for helping her.

Luna flew back to the road outside the small town where she's left Lynn and Pete with her car, but when she got to the exact spot, they weren’t there anymore. She's spent the rest of the morning searching for them in both her human and owl forms and when she couldn't, she went to a small pub on the side of the road to get some rest. The pub was empty aside for the bartender - Michael, a 20-something y.o. bloke that ran his parents' business when they got too old to do it themselves.

They talked and bonded, and eventually he offered her to sleep in his flat on the second floor, because she looked too exhausted to keep looking for them. But she barely got half an hour of sleep before she's decided to keep searching, and Michael offered to help her. She knew she'd be better off searching in her owl form, but he looked determined to help her, so they've searched together for a few hours. Around noon Luna thanked him for his help but said she preferred to keep searching alone, so she had the chance to cover more ground in her owl form.

Toward the evening she started to lose hope and took a quick nap on a bench in a random bus stop, before she was interrupted by an old lady and her son. She almost lost her wand, but the old lady gave it to her just before she left again.

She kept searching for a few more hours and just before she lost all hope, she went once more to the place where she had left them in the first place and to her surprise, found Lynn sitting next to a tree a few meters from the car.

Lynn told Luna that Pete and her had a huge fight and he's decided to go to Wales alone (because that's where they were heading) and Lynn went to a nearby town to sleep, but got stuck with the car because the gas ran out, and by the time she got back to the same point, Luna already gave up on the idea that they might still be there.

When Luna suggested they should just keep going, Lynn told her she's too tried and they both went back to Michael's pub to get some rest. But instead of sleeping they've spent the entire night drinking and talking with him and when Lynn finally fell asleep around dawn, Michael asked Luna to join them on their trip, since Pete’s spot has opened.

--

4. The rest of August

The three had great chemistry and spent most of the time like before- partying and drinking, only that with Michael there, they also went camping more. Lynn and Michael almost became a thing, which made being around them awkward, then it didn't work out, which made being around them even more awkward, but after a few days it went back to normal.

They went to the northernmost point in Scotland before they turned back to England, but kept driving past London and went to the southernmost point in England. There they met Connor, a rich young bloke that celebrated his financial freedom with a huge party on the beach.

During the night he made a very negative impression on Luna and Michael, but after he sobered up in the morning he offered them to come visit him in Brighton, where he'll make it up to him. Michael was against it, but both Luna and Lynn were intrigued and they've decided it will be the last place they visit before they head back home.

They partied with Connor for a few days and Lynn's decided to stay with Connor, while Luna and Michael headed toward London.

Luna dropped him at the train station and planned to go home, but when she stood outside of her house, already prepared to open the door and get in, she's decided that she wanted to get a proper goodbye from Pete as well and flew to his aunt's house in Wales.

Pete was surprised by the strange owl that knocked on the window, and even more surprised when it turned into Luna. He hugged her and apologized for leaving without a saying anything, and just said that he and Lynn had a huge fight and he couldn't stay there with her anymore. He refused to get into the details but showed concern for his sister’s safety and reassured Luna that they tend to have huge fights like this a lot and they'll make up "sometime soon."

--

After that Luna really went back home - and that's the end of the Summer of Muggles.

If you think that was long, the original post was ~30 pages long in MS Word, so... I actually summarized it. (Who know I was capable of it? Not me.)

[our-time-is-now]

June 12, 2019: Will Sam come with us?

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on our blog.

Wednesday, 07:37 pm

Whatsapp, ok.cool.:

David: Hey, guys, what about our holiday planning? Any specific ideas? There's not much time left - unless you want to plan for next year...

Jonas: Oh, damn, you're right, there's not much time left. Will everyone come along?

Abdi: Sure!

Carlos: Yeah, me too! Ey, we need to work this out before I will start the apprenticeship! After August 1 I'm out...

Matteo: Yeah, we will make it. July? If you start August 1, then maybe week 2 and 3 or so?

Abdi: Sounds good! I'm in.

Carlos: That would be sick!

Jonas: And where? Really surfing?

Matteo: Eh... maybe something more chill?

Abdi: Haha, bro, you don't NEED to do sport if you don't want to.

David: Surfing would be nice. I'm open to other stuff as well.

Jonas: Somebody just has to take care of it. Otherwise we'll only get something last minute and we can't choose where to go anyway. Unless we go camping somewhere...

Abdi: Camping would be nice again – but then Germany or what?

David: You can also go camping abroad ;-)

Carlos: I never went camping before...

Jonas: Dude, you've never been camping?!

Matteo: What did your parents do with you? Always just vacation on a yacht?

Carlos: Haha, noo, but never camping.

Abdi: Then we should go camping. Everyone should have experienced this.

Jonas: Wait a second.

Carlos: Eh... okay... for what?

Abdi: Brudi?

Carlos: Brudi?

Matteo: Brudi? :-)

David: Jonas?

Carlos: Killjoy!

David: :-P

Abdi: Ey, what is he doing now?

Carlos: Maybe he's on the toilet...

Abdi: Don't want to know that...

Jonas: I just talked with Hanna. The girls have not yet planned anything concrete. Now we thought if we should plan something together... she can talk to the girls and I wanted to ask you what you think about it. I mean, after all, it is our last summer together before the serious part of life begins, sort of... haha…

Carlos: I have nothing against holiday together with Kiki :-D

David: Who would've thought? ;-)

Carlos: You are not allowed to say something about that – you wouldn't spend the holidays without Luigi either...

David: Okay, okay...

Abdi: Will Sam come with us?

Jonas: Abdi, when we all go together, of course!

David: So I have nothing against holidays with a bigger group.

Matteo: I don't care whether we go with girls or without.

Carlos: Dude, brudi, don't tempt me to make a joke.

Abdi: Haha.

Matteo: :-P Of course I meant: Sure, definitely, let's make a big deal out of it! But then camping would probably be really good.

Jonas: Yo, I think camping is pretty nice too, and Hanna thinks so too. She also just said the girls think it's good too.

Abdi: Sam as well?

Carlos: Do the girls have an idea where?

Jonas: Noo, they are also just brainstorming about it.

Jonas: Mia says that if we go with them, Alex should come too. That's okay right?

David: I don't care - I barely know him.

Matteo: Same. He's not really my cup of tea, but I'm okay with it.

Abdi: I don't mind. But what about Sam, is she coming or what?

Carlos: I don't necessarily have to have him with me – he really treated Kiki like shit!

Matteo: We all think he's shit out of solidarity, ok? :)

Jonas: Come on Carlos – we are so many! Can't you ignore him for one or two weeks and chill with us? And if Kiki can handle it...

Carlos: Thanks, Luigi <3

Abdi: Are you ignoring me now?

Matteo: Abdi, of course Sam will come with us! Don't be weird!

Jonas: So Carlos, it's okay for you, if we all think he is shit out of solidarity?

Carlos: Well, it's also shit if no one of us talks to him... so I don't mind...

David: Hey, guys, wouldn't it be smarter if we discussed the planning with the whole group? Together with the girls?

Jonas: What did we do before David?

Carlos: Never finished anything?

Abdi: Right.

Matteo: Right <3

David: Haha :-P As if...

Matteo: Yes.

Carlos: Matteo definitely didn't finish anything :P

Jonas: I'll tell the girls about a combined Whatsapp group and stuff...

David: He finished the thing with me! <3

Matteo: <3

Carlos: *throw up emoji*

Abdi: <3 <3 <3

Abdi: Dude, brudi!

Carlos: Joking!

Jonas: Hanna sends a message that Kiki is making a group tomorrow to plan ... they're all somehow not at home right now.

Carlos: Really?! Where?

Abdi: Dude, don't you know what your girlfriend does?

Jonas: Bar-hopping or something like that...

Abdi: Sam too!?

Jonas: Dude, Abdi, enough now!

(next play)

[kristallioness]

2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019

*arrives a month late*... Happy 2021 to all of you, my dear followers! *raises a glass* It seems that my tendency to finish my artwork or personal posts on time has only gotten worse over time (I blame work *lol*). Oh well, better late than never, since there are things I would still like to take with me from this extraordinary year of 2020.

It is cringeworthy that I have two huge red X-s this year. But after I'd put these puzzle pieces together, I remembered far too well what was going on in my (work) life at the time, so it's completely understandable why I didn't have the time nor the energy to draw at all during those two months.

What were those typical statistics that I wrote about again to compare the years? *goes to read last year's post*.. Oh, right! In 2020, I managed to finish 3 full digital drawings (from the months of April, July and December) as well as work on several sketches. I wrote 28,154 words worth of fanfiction (oohh, that's a lot better than previous year), plus 3,126 words in English (I dare say I wrote an equal amount in Estonian) for the prompts I got during UYLD (making the total 31,280 words, which is quite impressive!).

I finished reading the 1st Kyoshi novel in the evening of the 20th and slightly past midnight on the 21st December (barely before the holidays, but I set this goal for myself and I did it!). Am already looking forward to starting with the 2nd part some time this year. Besides that, I ordered and received all the other new Avatar books that came out (3rd part of "Ruins of the Empire", "Katara and the Pirate's Silver", "Legacy of the Fire Nation") as well as BOTH Avatar series DVD sets (I still can't believe I found these on sale on some random online store in Estonia, but these are now among my most prized possessions!).

I finally started my Avatar rewatch last January, but merely got to the Ba Sing Se episodes in Book 2 (I need to continue with "The Earth King") and now it's been 5 YEARS since I last saw Korra. Reading through my journal personal posts from last year, I know far too well that it's not about rushing through it as fast as possible. Instead, I should enjoy the ride and continue watching the episodes when I'm well rested and in the right mood. That way I'll end up feeling much more at peace.

As for the entire year as a whole? I don't think anyone in this world of ours was prepared for the way this decade would begin - with an uncontrollable pandemic, the virus of which is randomly attacking and threatening to wipe out the weakest amongst us. If any of you (or even if you know someone who) have lost a loved one to this plague, there is not much else I can offer but my sincerest condolences! Me, my family, friends and colleagues seem to have managed to avoid catching it so far. *spits 3 x over her shoulder*

I had such high hopes for this year in so many ways. Event-wise I was looking forward to watching the Eurovision Song Contest in May (where Uku Suviste was supposed to represent Estonia for the 1st time ever after so many unfortunate failures to get selected as the winner of our local competition), the European Football Championships in June (asking my colleagues which countries they support, perhaps make fun bets / guesses with them to see whose team would win the matches), the Tokyo Olympic Games in July-August, the President of Estonia (Mrs. Kersti Kaljulaid) coming to visit my hometown to celebrate our Victory Day by taking part in the parade together with the Defence Forces (after 15 years *sigh*)...

I will always remember my last big event, which took place when life used to be "normal", so to say. It was the 102nd anniversary of Estonia on the 24th of February, when I took part of all the most important celebrations in Tallinn on our Independence Day, FULL-TIME (whenever I scroll through my Facebook timeline, I see the photos I uploaded of that day, my heart melts and I smile fondly). But the day after that.. utter hell broke loose. We had our first infected person in the country.

I will also remember the last day I went to work in "normal" conditions. Friday, the 13th of March (typically my lucky day-number combination): I missed the tram I wanted to get on in the morning, at work my team received great news that one of our colleague's family had grown bigger by a new tiny member the day before, we had our last team lunch together, we discussed the safety measures that we should take and joked about what might happen next week, I took the bus home instead of the tram (as the tram's route came from the airport and that place was considered to be more dangerous and with a higher risk of catching this virus).. It was another 2.5 weeks later by then (since the 25th of February) - Estonia (along with the rest of Europe) went into full lockdown.

The beginning was frightening and people were on edge, nobody really knew what to do nor what was gonna happen next. But in time, things began to shake into place and everybody developed a comfortable routine for remote work, including figuring out how to get everyday things done (such as grocery shopping). I found solace in taking photographs of various beautiful bird species, who began to fly around and serenaded me during spring, visiting the trees around my "nest" i.e. rented apartment (with a pair of them ACTUALLY building a nest in the chestnut tree right beside my window, thus turning me into a protective godmother of their chicks).

To be honest, I was awestruck by the positive / surprising aftermath of this lockdown: how the world / environment began to heal itself from the pollution that was normally caused by humans. I was taken aback by how dead silent our usually loud capital became in my neighbourhood (I could only hear trams passing by my house according to their schedules, practically no cars whatsoever, streets were empty of people.. absolute silence).

By May-June, things started to look up in Estonia (as well as the rest of Europe) and people were allowed to start travelling / moving around more freely. During my vacation in July, I managed to go to my last (open air) event (for the rest of the year) under these new "corona" conditions and ended up having a blast at the Open Farm Days in my home county for the first time.

Our country's shining moment came during the first week of September, when we hosted the first ever Rally Estonia of the World Rally Championship (WRC), where our very own Ott Tänak and Martin Järveoja won. The event was so well organized and successful that nobody caught the virus nor did the spectators / participants spread it to others, which surely must've helped in ensuring us a spot in the WRC calendar for 2021 as well.

The remainder of the year was rather dull, with the exception of the US Presidential elections in November, when we were all holding our breaths that Joe Biden would win (congratulations, my American friends!). This eventually led to the painful downfall of THE WORST government the Republic of Estonia has ever had, and to the rise of our first female Prime Minister, Kaja Kallas (both happening in January 2021, I couldn't believe it all spiralled so soon, ha-ha!).

Anyways, during the last 4 months, work was very stressful and driving me nuts, so badly that when I eventually went on vacation before Christmas, I had a slight anxiety disorder that wouldn't let me relax for several days (luckily it went away just as quickly once I began to take it easy and managed to get some proper rest / sleep).

In hindsight, I kind of get this weird feeling as if I saw this whole thing coming, given how actively I was living my life throughout 2019. My final year of the 2010's was so full of important events and personal achievements. It's almost as if something mysterious inside was driving me, telling me to visit all the places and do all the things I wanted to do, cause I wouldn't have this sort of a chance again for a very long time.

This must be the main reason why I am thankful for 2020 for going the way it did. Sure, I'm disappointed that a lot of events were cancelled, that so many people have had to leave this world so soon due to this unpredictable disease.. But I think there are so many lessons to take from what came out of all of this. I believe the world needed some sort of a restart or break, given in what direction we were headed (politically, economically, environmentally, socially etc.). I'm just sorry it's had to come with such a high price of innocent lives.

I have even higher hopes for 2021, given how amazingly January has already passed for me and my country, and what is to come in my hometown in February. Let's take the lessons learned from 2020 with us and keep on heading back towards the "normal" lifestyle we used to know. Except this time, let's improve our ways, put all the hatred behind us, be more considerate, keep a distance, stay safe, but still try to make the world a better place for everyone. Thank you so much for reading, for remaining by my side, and for your support and love throughout the years, my friends! I hope to see you all alive and healthy at the end of the white metal ox year of 2021! *virtual hugs*

[lilac-goddess]

With the start of the new year,I’ve been finding myself taking inventory of all the things that have happened in 2020 and how I feel about them. I’ve organized them in chronological order (because I this is how my brain works)

January: I was in an okay relationship with a guy. He treated me well but I wasn’t content. I felt off but thought it was just the stress of the holidays and of all the school things I had to do. 

February: Still in a relationship with a guy. Doing well in my spring semester of school. Making friends and feeling genuinely happy. Went on a Valentine’s Day date with said guy (it was awful; no, I won’t give details). We also went to Disneyland which was actually pretty great, even though he was too much of a baby to go on my favorite ride.

March: The world’s anxiety about Covid was increasing. Still going to school at the beginning of the month. Took a week off work to take care of things at home while my parents went on vacation. This was when the world shut down. School went online, my work (a retirement home) went into a full lock down, and then boyfriend broke up with me  ( he dumped me and had very stupid reasons, including but not limited to the fact that he was afraid that I’d cheat because I was bi)

April: My 20th birthday came and my parents forgot it. I didn’t get presents and it went by without too much notice. ( Yes, i had friends reach out and wish me a happy birthday, but there was nothing done to celebrate in any capacity). School was still online. Work was still locked down. Still isolating away friends.

May: More of the same. Finished my second year at my community college. Worked my ass off at work. 

June: Repeat of May. Begin to question my sexuality.

July: Repeat of May and June.

August: Repeat of May, June and July. 

September: School starts again (still online). I start off okay but online learning isn’t my strength. Still questioning my sexuality. I know that I’m attracted to women but I’m unsure if my lack of attraction to men was situational or if it was never there to begin with. 

October: Still doing online school, still not enjoying it. Took a week off work to take care of things at home. Tried to enjoy my time away from the craziness that my work place has become. Still questioning if I was ever really attracted to men or if they were just convenient. 

November: One of my coworkers I have close contact with tests positive for Covid. School still sucks but I start feeling happier. I begin to settle on the terms queer and sapphic to describe my sexuality. They feel much more like me than bisexual ever did. I finally allow myself to go out and enjoy life as much as possible. 

December: Online school is a bitch but I finish it. Where I live was forced into another stay-at-home order, basically killing my ability to go out and enjoy life. The holidays look a lot different this year and it doesn’t quite feel like Christmas. But Christmas, signals the end of the year which is good. 

I guess what I’m getting at in this impossibly long post was that, 2020 didn’t go the way I would’ve wanted. But there are things that I’m thankful that happened. If my ex didn’t end things, I would’ve stayed in a sub-par relationship because it was better than being alone. I wouldn’t have pushed myself to be better and actually be happy. Not just content, but genuinely happy. 

Last year sucked for a lot of reasons, but at least I know I ended it as a stronger, healthier, happier version of me. 

[modern-oedipus]

Check-List for the Goals I settled for 2019

The funny mistake I’ve made earlier lead me think about what I’ve expected from 2019 when we started it. I found a list of the goals I made while we were entering the new year’s and here is a realistic evaluation of how it went.

• First of all, I wanted to manage my depressive episodes better. I wanted to have them less frequently. I wanted not to be absolutely crashed if a trigger hit me. Here’s how it went with a rough statistics (yes, because I’m a soon-to-be scientist, I actually made a graph of my own mood swings as if I am a test subject).

✔️ January was absolutely terrible for me. I had so much anxiety because of a toxic relationship and I wasn’t sure if I could ever live without that person. I failed two classes and withdraw a third one. I was super anxious about my internships. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be on the path I was and I was also having financial troubles. Also, one of my pet birds had passed away.

✔️ February was the month I truly felt like something in me was changing for the better. I felt like something clicked after the winter break— when I was, in a funny way, forbidden from consuming sugar for three days. I used to eat a lot of sugar/sweets to cope with my stress back then, to the point I still amaze at myself for not being overweight, plus size, or developing diabetes; because I really was eating too much sweets. But then I had a conversation with my father that feels unworldy, and combinated with the tree days no sugar diet and beginning of the new semester I suddenly felt like, even if I couldn’t fix everything, I could fix something. I had to start, regardless of how little. So I started by eating carefully— so significiantly less sugar consumed than I used to be, but I didn’t force it all at once. So if I were eating 3 brownies a day I decreased it step by step to 2 brownies a day, one brownie a day, and... At November 2019, it is probably a brownie once in 15 days. With even more pleasure than eating 3 brownies at once. (Don’t worry, I still let myself be free of eating whatever I want occassionally. I’m taking care of my health). Anyway. I started to hit up gym in my college for first time ever. I was so painfully inconsistent, but I knew that much was to be expected, so instead of getting angry at myself for not being a regular I just appreciated myself for going despite not being a regular.

✔️ March was a turnpoint. I decided to be bold enough to pursue my ex hobbies that I lost because of depression, one of them being writing. I’ve had a strong muse for Norman back then. I made a new account on Facebook. I knew no one, but to my luck I made so many friends. I drowned in NorRay ship with a very nice roleplay partner. I built new friendships away from the toxic partner of mine who was seriously causing a lot of damage on me. By the end of March we broke up and— surprise, my world didn’t end. I felt so refreshed, so alive, as if I was freed of my chains, and up until this day this feeling stands. I was more eager to pursue new hobbies, talk about my interests and do crazy shit instead of worrying my ex would think. I was happier. Much happier. This too, is still valid.

✔️ April was... unworldly. Because something that relates to my society happened as a big improvement and I was extremely positively surprised. This feeling is valid up to this day as well.

✔️ May... May was wild. I got kissed by a random stranger at the spring fest party. This fucking event lead me to write Conflict. Seriously. I built stronger friendships, online and offline, during this month. I felt truly connected.

✔️ June!!! June was so weird! It was my first break after one or maybe two years of depression. It was my first free holiday in which I didn’t reall feel like I was a waste of time, space, effort, money, etc. I got to walk around streets with a burden off my shoulders after so long. I got to look forward to the next days. The insecurities hit me up sometimes, but significantly less frequently, as I aimed in the beginning of the year. At this point I have had lost a good 5 kgs and had been eating very healthily too, and I was enjoying this new healthier lifestyle I adapted. This is still valid too.

Let’s examine June a little more carefully. At the end of the June I was going to go out of town to have an internship at a very prestigious university out of town. Which meant I had to stay in student dorms. I had no background about my field of internship yet. I was going to be utterly alone and I was freaking out about it. I’ve spent last week of June extremely tense because I don’t live in dorms normally and sharing a space with people and being alone at a professional place and things like doing laundry felt terrifying. But at the same time I was proud of myself because I’ve had always wondered how life would be living in a college campus, and this school I went was the best in my country equal to the university I am attending. Overall, it was prestigious and I was very excited.

Another important thing about June was that I’ve had written almost ALL of Conflict in my head with two of my roleplay partners eagerly listening to me and encouraging me whenever I plotted.

Have you noticed this?

My story was completed BEFORE I even posted.

At the end of June, a few days before I was about to leave for the internship, I had a breakdown. I had a bad breakdown. I had first draft of Conflict completed but I could never get to edit it. I could never get to post it. I didn’t even have an account. I didn’t really expect much interest in the story either, I just... I don’t know. I think I just thought, “Wow, this plot is so feelsy. I shouldn’t keep it buried in me. Maybe other people will love it too.” and I... kept Conflict waiting... for so long. Then I had a breakdown thinking I can’t do a fucking thing right and I’ll never get to post anything because I always let my “depression” take over it— which is a funny excuse because I wasn’t even depressed at June. Scared yes, but not depressed. I hate playing the victim. Objectively speaking, I wasn’t at my best but it wasn’t my worst either. Anyway. I left first chapter of Conflict linger there for a few weeks, hopeless that I could ever post.

✔️ Then comes July. I came to the internship city! It was AWESOME. I LOVED the campus, LOVED the experience, LOVED my field, and ENJOYED dorm life. I made many friends. I had roommates. I worked out more often. I went to sightseeing. I extended my network. I did A LOT of fun stuff.

On the first night I was at dorms, my two roommates were out. I didn’t know anyone yet. I had ONE night free to do anything. I was... in an awe. So I opened the documents. I looked at the pretty sight from my dorm room and I said, “Well, let’s do this.”

It was like a torture to finish that first chapter.

I had no expectations when I posted.

But oh my god, it felt like something clicked when I posted! Getting my story POSTED was a significant proof that I was SERIOUSLY moving on from the LAST traces of depression. It was something I created. It was MY productivity. It was ME. But in a way it was everyone. I felt extremely happy. Oh— did I mention Conflict is my first fanfiction?

Anyway, then I began to look forward to updating. Living in campus had it’s amazing advantages, such as no time wasted on transport, and ability to chill at coffee shops or 24/7 open library ALL NIGHT if I wanted. Which was wayyy less depressing than the environment of my house. I wrote. I felt super engaged. The simple fact that I could exist and produce something and have other people respond to it was something I could never imagine myself doing back on my depressed days. (But I could totally imagine this BEFORE I got in depression. In a way, I was back. I am still back. And I’m so grateful.)

I wasn’t only fooling around to write, though. I’ve been learning a lot. Experiencing a lot. Living a lot. It was amazing. I even binge watched Harry Potter with my roommate— and I hadn’t rewatched it before. (I had fucking forgotten that Sirius died, lmao.)

I also briefly fell in love again. It was a nice brief summer thing. Still think she’s amazing.

I need to go now, actually, so I’m abrubtly cutting this post off halfway to edit later. I don’t know what I earn by sharing this. I’m definitely not looking for attention— maybe you’ve realized it before but I give very little fucks about what people around me say (except for constructive critism). But somehow, I felt as if someone needed to see this. I don’t know that person. I don’t know who they are and when they are reading this. I just want people to know that there is an example of a girl who seriously changed a lot within span of a year by constant hard work, gentle-self-talks, and constant push-throughs even when she’s not motivated. Right now I’m far from being depressed nor suicidal, I’ve lost enough weight to dress up all bold clothes I LOVE to wear, I’ve built self-confidence, etc, as I will edit later. I just... want you all to know... even if this is not valid for everyone if you want something to happen you have to MAKE it happen. And it actually HAPPENS when you MAKE it happen. So, you don’t have to stay stuck in a bad cycle. You don’t even need a new year’s eve to do this. I started at february, see?

So do your best! I’m cheering for you!

Edit: I’m back. So point of this post was to check whether I’ve reached my goal of having less frequent depressive episodes. (Because I know I’m human and depressive episodes can hit ANYONE, so I didn’t have an unrealistic “I’ll never experience this again” expectation but I did have the expectation of “I’ll experience this maybe once or twice in a year, move on fast w/o unhealthy coping mechanisms and I’ll stay connected to LIFE instead of dissosciation” and I’ve achieved this.

A fast summary would be,

July built my self confidence at all aspects, from my hobbies to my career, my social skills to my curiosities. It was amazing.

August-September was vacation. One month of having a blissful vacation without feeling like a burden. One month of having full bliss. No depressive episodes not even once. I was regularly working out and I didn’t gain any weight even though I eat sweets and nice food everyday because of “holiday”. I went to a dietician in the end to find out my blood sugar is very healthy and my weight is normal now.

At the end of September & beginning of October I was nervous because of school, but I handled a lot better. I have done my best. I have truly done my best. I attended almost all lectures, I engaged in the material, asked all questions on my mind, went office hours, stayed active in newspaper, continued to hit up gym regularly, built more friendships, ALSO STAGED A THEATRE TEXT I HAVE WRITTEN LIKE THAT WAS AMAZING, and— and—

I don’t know, fast through November it doesn’t feel enough. I don’t know what I’ve honestly expected. But I expected to feel smarter or something, because science is hard shit. I expected better grades than this because I have honestly given it my all best. But the fact that my friends called me to reassure me made me really happy because one of my other goals was to build friendships and to think people, online and offline, check up on me makes me tear up. Especially when they are genuniely by my side as friends. It just feels so nice. So I’m feeling bittersweet.

I couldn’t lose any more weight since June, but I kept gaining/losing in some balance and I’m stable by now. My aim for February is to... lose 10 kgs in total— in a year. Which means I’ve got 4 kgs left to get rid of extra weight. I’m not really obsessed with body image, I’ve never been, but... What will I even do if I do not eat healthy and exercise? I mean, what’ll I even do? I like exercising and healthy eating. So I should just prevent stressful eating further so I can get rid of all the extra stuff. I’m already wearing all the pretty clothes I want and I do get stares because ;; idk they look cute I’m cute. Not in a narcissitic way. But self-love is important. I’m bi anyway, I do think girls are cute so since I’m a girl why shouldn’t I be cute as well?? A very feminine girl in fact, so like, hell yes, at least Nila can now wear whatever she wants and feels like she looks good on them so ONE OF THE MAJOR GOALS OF 2019 is fucking SETTLED!!

I’m planning to meet up my dietician again soon, and say that, “Look, I’ve come this far. Let’s lose 4 kgs in next 4 months. It makes 1 kg a month. Amazingly managable right? So guide me so I don’t ruin my health while thinning.”

So, I’ve managed my three major goals: Get rid of depression (learn how to burn it if it hits you); get a body you not only appreciate but feel genuniely HAPPY to be in; and built friendships and strengthen your bonds with people.

My two other major goals are incompleted, though. To cut it short, I wanted to get a better academic standing— from my first midterm grades I couldn’t really achieve that no matter how hard I tried, which is truly upsetting, but I have no choice but to go on. I love my major. I love science. I genuniely want to stay in this field. I don’t think I’m too idiotic to be a scientist. Sometimes I do think that, okay, but that’s a common thought in STEM majors. I do want to believe that what I work on will make a difference. It will have a meaning. So even though these results... are very discouraging to the point I felt really bad today, as if I could somehow, I don’t know, have a panic attack or something (I did not, I don’t have chronic anxiety or panic attacks or whatever, never experienced this). I just felt close to it, with increased heartbeat and feeling a bit dizzy and also very... imbalanced. But that’s probably because I didn’t eat well today, I unintentionally ate very little hence probably it exhausted me combined with bad news and saturday’s breakdown. Anyway. I have no choice but to go on, believing it will be better. My last major goal was to have a romantic partner, haha. Because I just want to. I mean, I don’t think I need to justify why I’d want a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and I don’t think I worked hard for this goal lol. I mean, I didn’t go out of my way to reach people. I liked like... three people this year, I still like one of them, but... It didn’t... go far. That’s probably because I still haven’t completely shaken off my shyness and unwillingness to get out of my comfort zone.

In conclusion, I have achieved 3/5 of my goals, which is more than half of it! So good job! For the girlfriend/boyfriend part, I, haha, I may neglect it for this year I mean it’s dumb to date someone just because??? You want to date before year ends right??? I mean, I’m not exactly angry at myself for that because it’s not only in my control so I think I forgive myself for not achieving that goal.

Academics though.

Ugh, academics are extremely terrifying to me.

That’s one big thing I need to settle.

On the bright side I have— two months! Silly me thought I have just one! So... let me... work hard in these two months!!!! And I’ll update if I can get a better GPA this semester. And if I get a lover. It’s ok not to have lovers but at least let me keep the GPA high I BEG you.

I’ve got new goals settled for 2020. But I will focus on achieving my last two goals before the year ends (academics mostly) and... update!

I don’t know who needs to read this. But I don’t mind having my journey posted at this point. I still feel very uncomfortable talking about depression, actually. But it was my reality. Now that I truly moved on, I can talk about it and critisize myself for all good and all bad.

I hope, to anyone who bothered to read so long, it gave some hope. That things can get better. That you CAN make things better little by little. 2020 can be your year. Or you can start on this very day like I randomly started on February (I didn’t have a thing for February, I just so happened to decide).

I’ll always be cheering those who do their best to make a difference.

Stay safe and let’s work hard. ❤️

Disclaimer: Some of my kind hearted readers were worried about me because Conflict describes unhealthy mindsets. Don’t worry— more than half of them are not based on my real life experiences! I’m not self-harming (never did, don’t think I ever will), neglecting antidepressants (I never used any actually), have suicidal tendencies (well, that part was real but no longer valid) AND I DON’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP LIKE NORMAN/PETER sO Y’ALL CAN CHILL thank you for worrying about me I love you all

And I’ll be more than happy to be your goals-buddy if you want to change something about yourself as well!!!

[ettawritesnstudies]

August Monthly Goal Update

Hello! By the time this goes up, the other post I wrote detailing my monthly goal process should have been published so I’m not going to explain much farther here. Future updates will have the link. This month was *wild* guys. I went of vacation the 1st - 5th, my boss scheduled me to work the 6th - 17th, and I moved into college and had orientation the 22nd - 25th, which meant I had a lot of things to accomplish. 

I completed 25/30 goals this month, winning by a 10-point margin! In retrospect, some of these goals were easier than I expected and so I could have combined them and added more. A lot of them are also recurring goals that just didn’t happen because of my wacky schedule. With such a big adjustment with college, I expected this month to be an outlier, and I’m sure my September list will reflect my new schedule. Let me know what you’re up to and how your months are going by tagging me or using the hashtag #monthlygoalsupdate!

If you want to read more, the list is below the cut!

Donate Hair - I got my hair cut in late July and donated 10 inches to charity! Children With Hair Loss is a great organization that gives hairpieces to kids dealing with medical issues (cancer, of course, as well as burns, Alopecia, and Trichotillomania, and others) for FREE. 10/10 recommend checking them out.

Clean my room before I leave for college - no small feat

Buy and pack all college supplies

Go through clothes and pack those

Make #1month1language post a week - whoops. I’m trying again in September! I did turn my phone’s langage to Italian tho

Make an Italian learning schedule 

Make a Spanish learning schedule - I’m counting these two as half-done since I made viable schedules for both but only stuck to it about half the time.

Buy new glasses - yep, I bit that bullet

Send out more graduation cards - they never ever end

Finish alcohol safety training for college

Deposit money into school laundry/debit account

Read student handbook

Complete academic integrity training

Find syllabi for each class and add all dates to the planner - I have 3 of my classes done as of writing this, and I’ll get the rest of the syllabi this week, so this will definitely be done by the end of the month

Send thank-you notes to advisors - I met with advisors before school started to figure out my wacky schedule and thought a thanks would be in order given that they did it over the summer

Get a work-study job as a lifeguard

Write 20,000 words - I haven’t touched my book at all since camp nano ended :(

Publish Worrywart parts 1, 2, and 3 - I write Newsies fanfic too! You can find me on ff.net with the username “mgsglacier”

Get 2nd meningitis shot for school and update health info - vaccines are important y’all

Send vaccination history to uni

Put away diploma - funny story: at graduation, we got our diplomas in envelopes with a bunch of other stuff after the ceremony, and I kind of threw it on my dresser to deal with later. I didn’t realize until I did this goal that I graduated 4th in my class. I thought I was 12th before. :0

Do 1 devotion outside Mass once a week - I did like 3 one week and none the other week, so this technically doesn’t count.

Update check register - adulting is hard guys

Keep up with other Uni obligations - this is vague, but they gave us a list a mile long to do and most of them are things that can be done in ~10 minutes so this is my way of bundling them into one goal

Exercise twice a week - I have no excuses

Have 1 me-day - I’m really bad at taking a break and end up working myself to burnout if I don’t put this on a to-do list. :P

Get together with two specific friends - I have no excuse besides a busy schedule but I’m still sad this didn’t happen

Meet with my mentor once and report conversation - my university has a really cool mentorship program for women engineers! I’m going for coffee with her on Thursday!

Play piano/guitar once a week - unfortunately not this month, but I’m in an Arts themed dorm and it’s so nice because there’s ALWAYS someone singing or playing, so this will definitely get done in September!

[das-verlorene-kind]

Kindchen’s Art Summary - 2018 edition!

2018 was a weird year! I drew a lot more, but focussed on smaller pieces. I tried to do more skecthes, improve anatomy/posing/faces and just didn’t pour as much of my ressources into big, elaborate drawings. I also had a lot on my plate this year - BBB took a lot of my time, and I am also still job hunting (wish me luck please!) which is causing a great deal of stress and anxiety. Anyways, on with the summary!

January Church fanart - MANIA came out, everyone! Which means, Church came out. And Catholic me couldn’t resist drawing some angsty religious-themed art. Especially since @sn1tchesandtalkers and I were still writing IHJF!

February Angel Pete - I drew a lot of him this year, but this one remains my favorite. Yeah yeah, I posted it in March, but c’mon. February was still angel!Pete month.

March I finished “I’ve Changed My Plea To Guilty”, my first multi-chaptered fic (not counting IHFJ, for which I had a lovely co-writer) and I was just so proud of myself! I still am. The boys still mean a lot to me. Hence why I put the art for the final chapter here.

April Pete² - I didn’t do much in April. I did some fic illustrations and started BBB!

May Deertrick - A portrait of the grumpy little deer boy! I had and continue to have so much fun with this AU~

June Pride Month! - I did a lot of requests for pride months, and it was a lot of fun! 🏳️‍🌈

July Sons Of Bitches - I was on vacation, so I didn’t have time to draw much. It was also my birthday, and I got so many lovely gifts! <3

August Siren Patrick - I did a lot with pencils, and I had so much fun. I’m never gonna stop! This one is fanart for someone else’s fic for a change, Before It’s Voiced by @folie-aplusieurs !

September Chibi deertrick - I started job hunting and was just generally super anxious. What little free time I had, I spent to prepare for inktober! So not much was posted. But, of course, no month without deertrick, haha!

October Inked Devil Patrick - Inktober, everyone! My second year participating, and it went quite well! Again, my main pieces were an angel and a devil. Unfortunately, they haven’t been colored yet, but... it is on my list for 2019!

November Louder Than Bombs - It was finally time for everyone’s BBBs! It was such a load of content, it wa soverwhelming tbh. I participated both as a primary, and as a secondary creator for the lovely @the-chaotic-panda ! I have a looot of feels about this but to keep it short, I won’t be doing primary art for BBB again, so enjoy what you got.

December Teddytrick - finished the year with some cute Patrick! Look at him. He’s adorable and blushing....!

That’s it, everyone! What a year it has been. I did so much more art in 2018 than in 2017, I am honestly surprised by myself. I filled two skechbooks! I feel amazing. While I didn’t focus as much on elaborate artworks anymore, I felt like doing smaller pieces and sketches improved my skills. While I still want to do larger pieces, I’m also happy with just drawing cuddles and fanart for fics or, well, anything else I can annoy my friends with, haha. Also, I do more Peterick art in general... Well.

I don’t know what 2019 holds for me. I am excited and anxious. If I manage to secure a new job, then I am sure I’ll be more busy, but also way less anxious and eager to be productive. If not... God, I don’t even want to think about it.

In 2019, I hope I can keep fighting against the depression and insecturity that plagued me for the past years. I want to keep creating, and I want to keep sharing my art with the world!

Thank you to everyone who reblogs my art. That means so, so much to me. Thanks to all my followers, you guys are amazing and I have so much art to do in 2019!

Most of all, thanks to all my amazing friends. You know who you are, and I love and adore each one of you beyond words. Without your support, I wouldn’t be here.

To a new year, everyone!

| 2017 version |

[ilovelocust]

Fun With Age Ranges

Whelp, I know I went into the right field. I don’t get enough sleep one night and I spend all my free time between work the next day, playing with numbers and percentages. Lucky you guys, you get to see some of the interesting factoids I’ve puzzled out.

This is under a cut for being really long. There is a TLDR at the bottom if you start to wonder the point of my charts. If you would like to use any of the images in this post, feel free.

On to the numbers!

First let’s start with our inputs:

Keith, season 1 age 18. Birthday October 23rd.

Lance, season 1 age 17. Birthday July 28th.

Shiro, season 1 age 25. Birthday February 29th.

Pidge, season 1 age 15. Birthday April 3rd.

Hunk, season 1 age 17. Birthday January 13th.

(S6) Keith was not an emancipated minor. He must have been at least 18 when kicked out of the Garrison, not to be forced to return to the group home.

Shiro was held prisoner for 1 year before he escaped back to earth.

(S1, Interviews) Keith was kicked out of the Garrison, after Shiro was declared dead.

American highschools host summer vacation over three main periods

End of May to Early August

Early June to Mid-August

End of June to Sept just after labor day

These facts let us use Keith’s age as a sort of measuring stick for every other character. We know that between the time Keith turned 18 and the time he turned 19. He was kicked out of the Garrison, spent a prolonged period of time studying the blue lion carvings, and then rescued Shiro at the beginning of season 1. During this whole time period Keith must be 18.

So let’s create a visual representation of this measuring stick.

The red months are the months of the year that Keith is 18 (because his birthday is so late we count the first full month in Nov). Somewhere in here Season 1 will start and every character listed 2 through 5 will be their Season 1 age.

Now because we don’t have birth years, every character has two possible age ranges in comparison to Keith. They are already the age they will be in Season 1 when Keith turns 18, or Keith is already 18 when they turn the age they will be in season 1.

We’ll use Pidge, color green, as the example for this concept. This is her age range if Pidge turned 15 before Keith turned 18.

This is her age range, if Pidge turns 15 after Keith turns 18.

Now, you might notice this provides us a nice visual representation of when Pidge turned fifteen based upon which month season 1 starts. If Season 1 starts in the time period between Nov and March of Keith’s 18th year, then Pidge must have turn 15 before Keith turned 18. If Season 1 starts between April and October of Keith’s 18th year. Then Pidge must have turned 15 after Keith turned 18.

This applies to all the characters.

Lance 17 before Keith 18.

Lance 17 after Keith 18.

Shiro 25 before Keith 18.

Shiro 25 after Keith 18.

Hunk 17 before Keith 18.

Hunk 17 after Keith 18.

This means every character has two different possible age gaps with Keith depending on when season 1 started.

Nov-Mar: Pidge-Keith 2 Years 6 Months

Apr-Oct: Pidge-Keith 3 Years 6 Months

Nov-July: Lance-Keith 9 Months

Aug-Oct: Lance-Keith 1 Year 9 Months

Nov-Feb: Shiro-Keith 7 Years 8 Months

Mar-Oct: Shiro-Keith 6 Years 8 Months

Nov-Dec: Hunk-Keith 3 Months

Jan-Oct: Hunk-Keith 1 Year 3 Months

Now, here is where inputs 6 and 9 come in. Somewhere between Nov-Oct Keith must be kicked out, then Season 1 may start. Further we know that Keith would not have had the opportunity to get kicked out when school was not in session, and that Season 1 started while Pidge/Hunk/Lance were in school.

Thus, neither action could occur in July and in one out three scenarios neither actions could occur in June or August. We can use this information to create a chart with inputs what month Keith got kicked out and how many months elapsed between that action and the start of Season 1 to get what month season 1 started in.

Further more we can take into account summer vacation to weight the months based upon probability that either aforementioned action could occur. November, December, January, February, March, April, May, September, and October are assigned weights of 3 because they are possible in all three summer vacation scenarios. June and August are assigned weights of 2 because they are only possible in two out of three scenarios. Finally July is weighted 0 because it is never possible in any scenario.

When I’m finished the Chart looks like this.

Look at it, isn’t it beautiful, but ah! What are those percentages at the bottom? Well my dear person who actually read to the end of this post. Those percentages are the entire point of this endeavor.

Case Blue (Dec-Feb) represents the time period where Shiro-Keith is 7 Years 8 Months and Lance-Keith is 9 Months.

Case Green (Mar-July) represents the time period where Shiro-Keith is 6 Years 8 Months and Lance-Keith is 9 Months.

Case Purple (Aug-Oct) represents the time period where Shiro-Keith is 6 Years 8 Months and Lance-Keith  is 1 Year 9 months.

And I’m here to tell you Case Purple is by far the most likely option.

See look back at our inputs 7 and 8. We know, thanks to interviews and common sense, that Keith was kicked out of the Garrison due to his reaction to Shiro’s reported death in the Kerberos mission. Furthermore we know, that there was a full years time between when Shiro was reported dead and the start of Season 1.

For Case Blue to be true, we would have to believe that Season 1 Keith, the picture of emotional restraint while grieving he was, stuck it out in the Garrison for 9 long months of Iverson blaming Shiro for the mission failure, before he finally decided to punch him.

Even the worst odds for Case Green, require Keith to have stayed for 5 months without losing his temper (an entire semester!), and for even odds he’d have had to stuck around for 7 months.

Neither Case Green or Case Blue are particularly believable based upon the Keith we knew back then. Which leaves Case Purple, 100% chance of being true if Keith stuck around the Garrison between 1 and 4 months after Shiro’s reported death.

TLDR Conclusion: At the beginning of season 1 Keith is 1 Year and 9 months older than Lance, and Keith and Shiro have only 6 Years and 8 Months between them.

Extra Fun Conclusion: With Keith’s two year upgrade, his and Shiro’s gap has shrunk to 4 years 8 months, and his and Lance’s has grown to 3 Years 9 months.