#this was done a while ago but i was working on this vid again and already had this gif made sooo

[flickering-nightfall]

boop

[nakylvr]

what do we think about needy sub!manon, because HEAR ME OUT, her being so needy and turned on, sending you pics and audios of her fingering herself thinking about you and moaning your name, sending dirty messages while you're at work, just because SHE KNOWS THEY TURN YOU ON and that will lead to her getting filled with your strap when you get home 🤭

god i love sub!manon so bad 😵‍💫

— SAY SO 👑

warnings/tags: language, nsfw content, sub!manon, dom!reader, slight mommy kink, strap on, masterbation, sending vids, praise

you had been at work since the early morning, trying to get everything done before your deadline you had for the end of the day. which meant you hardly saw manon this morning before you left. scribbling a quick note on her nightstand and heading out. it was now nearing the end of the day, and you were still at work, much to manon's dismay.

manon had been needy the whole day. texting you every other hour asking the same question of when you were going to be back, which usually took you another hour or two to respond. it had been over an hour since you last texted her back, when she came up with the perfect idea to get you to respond and come back home.

she changed into the lingerie set you got her a few weeks ago before grabbing her phone and laying down on the bed. opening the camera app, she holds the phone up to take a picture of her in the outfit. she sends the picture to you and waits to see if you respond.

your phone dings with a notification and you glance away from your screen for a split second to see that it's from manon and just reads "1 attached image" making you raise an eyebrow. picking up the phone, you open the message and your eyes subtly widen at the image.

baby, i'm at work. you text back.

she figured that'd be your response, which is why she was already pointing the camera down, recording, as she slips a finger into her wet heat. whimpering as she starts fingering herself, her eyes close and she moans your name when she slides a second finger in. "fuck...pl-please come home...i need you s-so bad, please mommy, 'm so wet for you," her moans get more desperate and whiny the more she talks, knowing how much it turns you on whenever she sends you videos of her touching herself. she stops the recording to send the video to you, not stopping her fingers as she lets out whiny moans.

your phone dings again, and you open the message to see a video attached. you glance around before playing the video and listening to it, your jaw almost dropping. you quickly press the call button on her name, which manon answers instantly, and you immediately hear her moaning on the other end. "you just couldn't wait, could you?" you whisper into the phone, collecting your things and getting up and leaving.

"no," manon whines on the other end of the phone. "you've been a-at work all day..."

"i'm leaving now," you tell her as you walk up to your car. "and you better have not came by the time i get there, understand?"

"okay"

you break multiple speeding laws trying to cut through traffic on the way back to the apartment. you fiddle with the key in the lock for a moment before getting the door open, tossing your bag on the table and letting the door close behind you. as soon as the door closes you hear noises coming from the bedroom, and you quickly walk over, opening the door. you're met with the sight of your girlfriend on the bed, legs spread and three fingers deep in her pussy, moaning out your name.

you walk up to the bed, crawling onto it which makes manon open her eyes and see you, gasping your name as she nears the verge of cumming. you tsk, shaking your head as you look down at her. "look at my poor baby, all worked up and needy," you fake pout as you speak. "you didn't cum, did you?"

manon quickly shakes her head. "n-no, i-i didn't," she replies past whimpers. "i-i swear."

you hum, nodding your head as you bring your hand down to pull her fingers out of her, smiling at the whine she lets out at the feeling disappearing. "don't worry princess, i'll make you feel good." you get on your knees and unbutton your pants, pulling them off to free the strap on you were already wearing. "c'mere, if you be a good girl and suck my cock i'll let you cum."

manon whimpers at your words, watching you undo your pants and reveal the faux cock underneath. she sits up a little, shuffling closer to you as she rests her hands on your thighs, looking up at you with her big brown eyes. you tap her cheek gently with your hand, grabbing the back of her head and nudging her closer. her lips part as she slowly takes you in her mouth, swirling her tongue around to get it as wet as possible, still staring up at you while taking all of it fully.

"there ya go, my good girl," you coo, pushing her hair out of her face. you thrust your hips, making her gag lightly and grip your thighs harder. you do it again just to hear that noise between a moan and a gag come from her as tears brink in her eyes, but she takes it. you do it one more time before pulling her off, a string of saliva connecting between while she takes deep breaths. "lay down for me, princess," you say, stroking her cheek softly with your hand.

she does as you tell her to, lying down on the bed as you situate yourself between her legs. you rub the tip of the strap up and down her slit before slipping all the way in, causing her to gasp in surprise as you give her no time to adjust before starting a fast pace. "f-fuck! oh my god- yn," manon whines your name, her arm reaching to grab your hand on her waist for some kind of leverage from the way you were pounding into her. "'ts too much!"

you slap her hand away when she grabs for you, grabbing both hands and pinning them on each side of her head, staring down at her watching the way she reacts. "this is what you wanted, isn't it? you were the one so fucking needy that you had to send me videos of you touching yourself while i was at work. you're gonna take it,"

all manon can do is moan and whine helplessly as you push the strap so deep that her eyes roll back, her mouth agape with loud, desperate noises coming from her. your tight grip on her wrists has her unable to move her hands which causes her to whine at not being able to touch you. she can hear your words and shakes her head, trying her best to respond. "i-i jus' wan-wanted-" she's cut off by a gasp when she feels the tip of the strap hit her g-spot, moaning loudly when you realize and keep hitting it. "fuck mo-mommy, please let me t-touch you, please," she begs shamelessly, not caring how she must sound right now.

you give in to her begging easily, letting go of her wrists that were now stinging lightly. immediately she wraps her arms around your neck, pulling you down closer to her as she kisses you deeply. moaning into the kiss, her nails drag down your back and scratching your skin. parting from the kiss, manon stares up at you with her brown eyes welling with tears, desperately moaning at the feeling of you filling her up so good.

"look at you," you smile down at her. "you look so pretty like this, my pretty girl. always so good for me," you coo, hissing quietly at her nails dragging down your back. "you close, sweetheart?"

manon nods feverishly, whimpering at your praising words that make her feel even closer to orgasming. "pl-please 'm so close, please let me cum!" her begging comes out more whiny as she nears the edge. her legs wrap around your hips, pulling you impossibly closer to her as she puts her face in the crook of your neck, whimpering into your skin.

you feel droplets of her tears hitting your skin, and you decide to give in, knowing how needy she had been all day waiting for you. "go ahead, sweetheart. you've been so good for me," you tell her, snapping your hips harder to get her to cum.

manon whines loudly into your neck, her body shaking as she finally climaxes after all day of not getting anything, a few tears falling from her eyes. she pants heavily against your skin as you slow down to a stop, pulling out of her slowly. a quiet whimper comes from her at the feeling, her eyes closing with tears resting on her lashes. she reaches out for you as you quickly take off the harness, grasping your arm and pulling you down to lay next to her.

"you okay?" you ask her softly.

"mhm," she hums, nodding her head as she curls into your side, resting her head on your chest. "i love you," she mumbles quietly.

"i love you too," you smile, pressing a short kiss on her head.

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Not That Kind of Guy

Part Fourteen: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink(Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation, public/semi-public, spitting, cumplay, nude vids/pics, masturbation, oral, PIV, dick piercing, forced orgasm, bondage/blindfolds, biting/slapping/spanking/cutting, rape kink, NONCON/DUBCON/CNC, Somno, blood, knife, gun play, GEN. SMUT [all possible tags, not necessarily all apply]

Info: Ghost is whiny, He’s feeling petty, he told you so!![diary entries from Ani] extremely not proofread. Stalker!Anakin Character art (as Ghost) MDNI 18+

Diary Entry: September 2nd

I lied. I said I wasn’t mad at you, but I am.

It’s not like I tell you no to anything, so why wouldn’t you just ask me first? Are you just desperate for a moment away from me and too nice to tell me that? Running from your problems won’t help especially when your problem is me.

I did what I should’ve done a long time ago. A new software has been installed on your phone, very similar to the screen cloning software linked to my laptop. Only this one is active all the time, a constant feed of live audio that I’ve taken the liberty of flagging a few words within the code.

Anakin, hate, love, Ghost, annoying, angry… so on and so forth.

The software flagged several sections of audio within the timeframe of your drive to the cabin. I must say, I’m surprised about the things the two of you talk about, I’m never going to be able to look Han in the eye ever again.

I also lied to you about something else. I don’t work tonight, or tomorrow. I switched up my schedule with April for you, cause I have a little something planned for you. A little thing I’ve had tucked away, actually never intended on getting it out and doing anything with it really. It was a gift from Cliegg after there was a murder on the college campus last year.

Don’t worry, it wasn’t me that time.

Anyway, I think it might be fun. For me at least.

“Okay but I don’t get it.” Luke said, propping up his feet on the dash while you drove.

“What about it don’t you get?” You snorted, slowing to a stop at a traffic light. “I think it’s pretty self explanatory Luke.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t come equipped with a cooter and I’ve never, nor wanted, the opportunity to see one.” He crossed his arms and tilted his head back and rolled his shoulders. “I just don’t see the benefit.”

“First of all, it’s pretty.” Holding a finger up and adding a second, “second, it feels heavenly.”

“I am a gay man.” Luke scoffed, “Dicks aren’t very pretty. A little jewelry can’t fix that.”

“How does it even work? Does he have to take it out to piss? That’s inconvenient.”

“No!” You laughed, covering your mouth as you turned the dial to quiet the radio. “No, he doesn’t have to take it out. To answer your other question, it’s the metal balls on either end of the jewelry. That’s the point of the piercing you know? It rubs up-“

“Okay that’s enough, thoughts have been thunk.” He covered his ears and did a dramatic shiver of disgust.

“You asked!”

“I didn’t know you’d be so descriptive!”

“You described in great detail all about the massive ingrown hair on-“

“Oh my god! I told you never to mention that again!” Luke reached across the console and whacked you up the back of the head.

“I’m driving!” You squealed, your hand shooting out to the side and shoving his shoulder. “No, don’t you dare touch that radio! For fucks sake if that’s-“

“It’s ABBA.”

“Go to hell.”

——————————��—————————————

After two hours you reached the small lakeside cabin that was to be your home for the weekend. A cute little place with a loft and two small bedrooms. The kitchen was… lackluster; a fridge and a stove with a whopping number of three cabinets. The living room however did have a pool table, which in Luke’s eyes made up for the fact that your sister beat him to claiming the loft room, because she’d driven separately and arrived before you.

You chose the room to the left of the living room and Luke chose the one on the right. The view from your window was beautiful deep forest green, leaves and moss and huge tree trunks. While Luke’s was the deep blueish green lake water, the occasional white wake following a boat zipping past.

After tossing your bag onto the floor in the general direction of the nightstand you jumped onto the squishy and super cheap springy mattress on the tacky ‘rustic’ log bed. Pulling up Anakin’s contact you tapped the call button and listen to it ring on speakerphone.

“Hey pretty baby.” Anakin’s rich timbre flooded the line.

“Hi Ani.” You smiled despite him not being able to see you. “Just got into the cabin and picked my room.”

“Oh you got to pick?” He said curiously, “you got the loft didn’t you?” You could hear his grin.

“No, my sister did.” You scoffed, “I thought Luke would have a cow over it but he decided the pool table here would offset his disappointment.”

“Pool table hmm?” Anakin tsk’d.

“Hot tub too.” You grinned.

“A fuckin’-“ he groaned and let out a loud huff, “a hot tub?”

“Yes sir.”

“Hmph.” He snorted, “someone finally taught you some manners huh?”

“W-what?” You asked nervously, bringing the phone closer to you and hopping off the bed to shut the door. “Manners?”

“You just called me Sir didn’t you?” He laughed. “Been taking some etiquette classes?”

“Oh shut up.” You breathed out a sigh, a breath you’d almost choked on. Your guilty conscience was really beginning to steam roll your daily life, even on your mini-vacay you can’t escape your wrongdoings. Ghost was still haunting you all the way out here.

“Just teasing doll.” He snickered, “Anyway, what’s on your agenda?”

“Nothing for tonight, probably gonna sit on the dock and have some drinks, do a little bonfire, hot tub maybe.” You told him, beginning to relax again.

“Drinks? Be careful baby. It’s not exactly safe to drink and get into a hot tub.” He chided, “I’m serious.”

“I know.” You sighed, rolling your eyes.

“Good girl.” He said, pleased enough with your response. “So what room did you say?”

“Oh! I didn’t actually oops. I got the one looking out into the woods, it’s real pretty, I’ll send you a picture after we hang up.” You said, shifting your weight to sit more comfortably.

“Aw thanks babydoll.” You could hear his little smile through his words. “Well, I should probably let you get back to it huh?” He sighed.

“If you wanna talk more-“

“I always wanna talk more but I don’t want to keep you from your fun.” He said a bit quieter. “Uh, just don’t forget to call and leave me a message before bed okay baby? I’d love to hear your pretty voice when I get off work tonight.”

“Okay Ani,” nodding even though he couldn’t see you. “I’ll talk to you soon then… I miss you.”

“I love you too.” He made a kissy noise and hung up quickly, leaving you with a frustrated, pinched brow that you reached up to sooth with the heel of your palm.

After snapping a quick picture of your view through the bedroom window, you rejoined your trio in the living room where Luke was teaching your sister to play pool. You stood and watched for a moment, seeing them bicker like they were just reminded you of how much you loved summer trips with them.

Growing up with a sister close in age to you was fun, except for when it wasn’t. She went to school before you did, made friends before you did. Of course you were only two grades behind, but there is a big difference between kindergarten and 2nd grade. She had always been happy to play with you until then.

So when she was meant to be paying attention to you, or at least making sure you were alive, while you were both outside… she was busy on the swing set in your backyard. Which is how you found yourself with scraped knees and (surely, most definitely) a broken ankle from your scooter.

A new family had moved in across the street from you not too long before the summer started, you hadn’t met them, didn’t even know they had kids, until you were being pecked on the shoulder by another child’s finger. After that, Luke was found wherever you were; glued at the hip was an understatement, your families were convinced you were soulmates, that you’d grow up to be married.

Jokes on them.

His sister Leia was outgoing and confident in ways that Luke lacked, so during that first summer she gravitated toward your sister. The twins became a binder, something that held the four of you together. Bridging the gap perfectly between kindergarten and 2nd grade as 1st graders.

It stayed that way, for the rest of your school years and after.

Your parents got along swimmingly, the four of you floated between the two houses. Nights often ending up with a pair of kids asleep in the floor, where one of those children did not belong. A quick phone call to the house across the street to make sure your sibling was there, then all was well and your parents would scoop Luke and you up and tuck you in.

You were seven the first summer your parents had the grand idea to spend a week on the lake. It was a tearful goodbye, kids who spent every possible waking moment with each other are not easily pried apart.

Your parents drove the full two hours to a cute lake house they’d found online and within the first 30 minutes of being there your father had enough of the sniffles and whines. By dinner time Luke, Leia and their parents were sitting around fire pit with you.

Thus your annual tradition was born and kept even after the horrid aftermath of Luke’s unexpected outing. Sans parents of course. Your father supported your mother even if his views didn’t fully align with hers. He was a ‘be gay, just don’t be gay in front of me’ type of person, while your mother was more of the ‘send him to conversion camp, he’s tainting my children’ type of gal.

That didn’t really jive with the whole ‘love and positivity’ approach that the twins parents had about the situation. Which leaves you where you are now, reminiscing on those happy childhood memories before everything got complicated, before you discovered the world outside of your safety net, before the consistent visits from your uninvited house guest.

A loud clap broke you out of the fog and suddenly you were hyper aware of your sister’s nose right in front of your face.

“Lauren!” You gasped, your eyes wide before softening into a grin.

“You’ve been staring into oblivion for a solid minute,” she giggled, “I thought about sticking my finger in your mouth but I was afraid you’d bite it off.”

“My mouth?” You asked confusedly.

“Yeah you’ve been catching flies, looking like a mouth breather.”

“Eew! Don’t call me that!” You scoffed, standing up and following her over to the pool table to discuss your evening plans.

——————————————————————————

Anakin watched your little blue dot travel back and forth from the cabin to the dock, he listened the chatter between the three of you as he drove the two hours out to the pine forest your weekend getaway was taking place. The mile long gravel driveway was perfect to stash his car off to the side of, no one would be coming in or out of the drive all weekend.

He walked through the woods, backpack slung over his shoulder, his hood up and mask on. It was 9:57 and the three of you were still on the dock. He could hear you talking about getting into the hot tub through the Bluetooth earbud he had in, that new software was really paying off.

He hadn’t planned to do this next bit, but he couldn’t help himself. He purposefully got his left shoe dirty, twisting his foot side to side in order even dirt for a proper footprint. Then he left his mark on the first step up to the front porch.

*ping*

‘Having fun?’

You laughed, picking up your phone and leaning back in your chair as you crossed one leg over the other and switched the sound off. You’d only had it on for when Anakin texted, and now he was. Or you thought he was until you realized the text came from your own number.

‘No. Don’t engage. He’s not going to know where you are, how could he possibly know?’ You thought to yourself. ‘I planned this in person, I told Anakin at his place not mine. All Ghost knows is that you’ve left for the weekend.’

You swiped the message away and let out a huff, deciding to take the opportunity to walk back up to the house and call your boyfriend.

“Guys I’m going up to the cabin, gonna call Ani.” You said, standing up and taking your hard lemonade with you. “Need anything?”

“Nope, we’re about ready to head back anyway.” Lauren answered, waving you off. “We’ll be up soon.”

With that you walked away, taking the worn dirt path back up to the house and dialed Anakin’s number, waiting for the voicemail to pick up your call.

‘Hey Ani.’ You smiled, crossing one arm across your chest to rest your other elbow on while you talked. ‘I’m probably not going to bed just yet, but I am going back up to the house. I just wanted to fill you in a little bit I guess.’

Once your shoes hit the gravel you absentmindedly kicked a larger rock off to the side, swinging out your leg and shifting your position to walk backwards, looking down at your sister and Luke on the dock.

‘We’ve been just hanging out all evening, made some sandwiches and had drinks by the water.’ You pivoted again as you neared the porch and looked down to ensure your footing before taking the first step up. ‘We’re going hiking tomorrow morn-‘

You scrunched up your face and took another look before backing away from the steps completely, your eyes scanned the porch and saw the cabin door was still shut.

‘Sorry, thought I saw something…’ you muttered into the phone, spinning slowly in a full circle to take a better look at the tree line. ‘I- okay, anyway. Going hiking tomorrow… probably swim too. There’s a canoe moored down there so maybe we’ll try that out.’

Off to the left of you behind your sisters car you swore you heard gravel crunching underfoot, but when you looked toward the dock, Luke and Lauren where still sitting there. You marched over to the opposite side and saw nothing, going so far as to look under her car and yours.

‘Okay well…’ You were certain now that someone was outside and you were not alone, your phone buzzed against you ear and you pulled it away to swipe away the message, not even registering the sender before holding your phone back up to your ear.

‘Uh alright well I’ll talk to you in the morning,’ you quickly walked back over to the porch steps and side eyed the footprint as if you’d expected it to disappear by now. ‘Goodni-‘

A strange feeling passed over you, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up and a chill ran down your spine like a drip of cold water. You were almost afraid to turn around.

‘I gotta go, Miss you bunches… goodnight.’ In your panicked state you didn’t have the same thought process you normally would, you’d simply ended the call and whipped your head around, expecting to find someone, something, that might’ve caused that hair-raising fear. There was nothing.

Breathing a sigh of relief you laughed at yourself. It had probably just been a rabbit, maybe you’d startled it and it kicked up some gravel. The footprint… it could have been there when you arrived, it could’ve been made by one of your group, including you.

You checked the message you’d swiped away and your blood ran colder than ice. Your rational explanations were bulldozed in seconds.

A picture of you, standing in the drive way, taken from behind your sisters car.

The breath was stolen from your lungs. Your sight was locked into tunnel vision, all you could see was the front door as you ran to it and pushed it open. Colliding with something solid and warm as you stepped inside.

Something living and breathing that gripped your hair and cradled you to its chest, something that kicked the front door shut and pressed a cold, blunt object to the temple of your head.

Something that made you want to scream.

Diary Entry: September 2nd continued

I have time to kill and nothing to do while I wait for you. So I figured I’d write alittle bit.

I’m currently sitting under a tree, watching you and your cute little ponytail swishing around while you giggle. You’re so beautiful. Everything you do is beautiful. I’ve never seen something as exquisite as you.

Maybe that’s part of the reason I want to ruin you so bad. Leading you, my innocent doe, down the path of corruption could quite possibly be my life’s work. How would you like that sweetheart?

You wanna be my magnum opus?

Though of course we do have the one small identity issue to take care of. I need to get my shit together and figure out what the fuck I’m going to do. It’s not like I can tippity tap it into Google: ‘how to tell my girlfriend I’ve been stalking her for almost a year’.

No thank you. I don’t trust WikiHow with the fate of my love life.

Let’s be for real. I don’t even trust myself with the fate of my love life because I’ve already managed to fuck shit up. I’m continuing to fuck shit up. What I’m about to do? It’ll fuck the fuck out of the shit.

What can I say other than love makes people do crazy things?

“Ghost.” Your voice was wobbly and unsure. “Is that a-“

“Gun? Absolutely.” He grunted, pressing the barrel into your skull.

“What are you doing? They’re gonna be back soon, you can’t be here!”

“I came to chat.” He said simply, leaning his head down to put the cheek of his mask against your warm skin. “I missed you.”

“Did you miss me? Is that why you left your boyfriend back home? Wanted to let me have you all to myself for a weekend?”

“No!” You snapped at him, twisting your head away from his.

“Heard you on the phone.” He cooed, “still can’t say the L word? Why’s that?”

“If Luke sees you… my sister- they’ll call the cops, you know that.” You pushed against his chest and felt it rumble with a low laugh beneath your palms.

“Stop deflecting, answer my question.”

“I told you I wasn’t going to talk about Anakin with you!” The whisper left your lips tainted in unease.

“I’m aware. That’s why we aren’t talking about it. You’re going to tell me.” He barked, holding you close to his chest and walking backwards toward your chosen bedroom.

“N-no, I won’t. That’s not fair.”

“It’s not fair?” He scoffed. “I don’t care if you think it’s unfair.”

“How did you find me?!” You wriggled from his arms the moment he closed the bedroom door.

“I know everything about you baby.” His voice low and much too confident for you to believe anything otherwise. He looked relaxed in the way that he reached behind himself and locked the door, leaning back on it and crossing his arms, one long leather finger running parallel to the barrel of the pistol.

“I just wanted one weekend!” You shouted taking off your sneaker and throwing it at him, he gave you no reaction and it only pissed you off more. “Just one!”

“One weekend away from you! I know you can see everything on my phone, you see and hear everything I do, why do you think I wasn’t the one planning this trip? I didn’t want you showing up here!” Yelling at him in a way you never had before as you stalked toward him with your other shoe pointed at him. “I don’t want to talk about Anakin with you! I don’t want to tell you how I feel!”

“Do you want to know how I feel?” He asked calmly.

“I don’t give a shit!” You chucked the shoe at him and he batted it away easily.

“I think you do.” The gun raised up to his mask as if he were scratching his forehead with the barrel. “I think you care a lot and that’s why you won’t tell me.”

You didn’t answer, because he was right. You did care and you did care a lot. You’d been avoiding telling Anakin you loved him to spare Ghost the hurt of having to hear you say it to someone else.

“No.” You stuttered, hesitating and hating the taste of the word on your tongue.

“Don’t lie to me.” He barked, holding out the pistol and motioning for you to move. “Kneel. Now.”

“Gods, seriously? Put your arms down, you idiot.” He scoffed as he watched you lift your hands and put them behind your head like you were being arrested as you knelt down slowly.

“Well I’m sorry. I’ve never been held at gunpoint before.” You snapped, scowling up at him.

“I’m so lucky to have to honor of being your first then.” He grumbled, tucking it into the back of the waistband of his jeans while pulling the pink silk from his pocket and tossing it at you.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” His voice gruff as the toe of his shoe tapped your knee. “Put it on.”

Ghost shook his head, undoing his belt buckle, the tail end of the leather now forever imprinted with your teeth marks. You did as you were told and heard his pants unzip along with a soft grunt.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” He asked, holding his flat palm out to the side to make sure you couldn’t see, rearing back to slap you.

“How should I kn-“ *smack* “ow?! What the fuck?”

“Just making sure.” He snickered, taking off his gloves and putting them in his hoodie pocket.

“Asshole.” You mumbled.

“What was that?” He asked with a playful tone. “You want me to fuck your asshole? Is that what you said?”

“Shut up. You know that’s not what I said.” You muttered, unable to keep your lip from curving upward just a fraction of a centimeter.

“Ah well, the offer still stands.” He chuckled, tapping the side of your jaw with the cold metal barrel of his pistol.

“You’re making me nervous waving it around like that.” You huffed, jerking away from it.

“Good.” He snorted, “open your mouth.”

You did exactly that, thinking you’d feel the warm weighty head of his cock hit the tip of your tongue. Hoping for a taste of the salty precum that wept from his cockhead. You weren’t expecting something small, cold, metallic and pellet shaped.

“Don’t swallow; this is the only time you’ll ever hear me say that so you better listen.” You could hear his smarmy grin. “Roll it around, you feel that?”

“Mhm.” You nodded, feeling the smooth metal and the grooves carved into it, opening your mouth again and he plucked it off the tip of your tongue.

“Your initials, or well… what your initials should be.” He mumbled the last bit.

You hear a series of mechanical and metallic noises, followed by the unmistakable sound of a firearm cocking back.

“You did not just-“

“I did.” He snickered, holding the gun sideways and pointing it directly in the center of your forehead. The blunt edge digging into your flesh and pressing down against your skull.

“Spread your fingers.”

“Why?” You asked as you splayed your hand.

“Do you have to question everything?” You felt thick metal circle your middle and ring finger, dropping to the base of each digit, barely making any contact with your skin on its descent. It really put in perspective just how much bigger than you he was.

Even more so when you felt his warm, calloused fingertips weave their way between yours and squeeze gently. The tender gesture did nothing to quench the fear sitting heavy on your chest. A loaded gun, a loaded and ready to fire gun was about an inch from your brain.

“C’mon, you don’t want to talk? Not even like this?” Condescension dripping from his lips. “Loaded gun to your head and you still won’t talk about your feelings.” He tsk’d.

“It’s not your business.”

“See that’s where you’re wrong. We’ve already had this discussion haven’t we?” He crouched down in front of you, air rushing past from the quick motion. “It is my business. You were mine first.”

The curved edge of the barrel traveled down your forehead, across your cheek and rested heavily on your bottom lip.

“Give it a kiss for good luck little doe.” Ghost spoke low and steady, almost monotone. Considering your situation you did as you were told once again.

“Good girl.” He stood back up and pushed the waistband of his boxers down by hooking his thumb beneath the elastic. “Now get to work, bitch.”

His tone had changed again, now a sharp and hard edge that smacked you like a cold wind. Emotional whiplash was to be expected in every encounter you had with Ghost, but none so far was as bruising as this.

He’d never brought a gun to a knife fight before.

You hesitated for a moment longer than he was willing to wait, so he dropped your hand, the small bit of comfort he’d allowed you to have. Grabbing the back of your head and forcing his swollen cockhead past your lips, cool metal returning to the center of your forehead.

You gagged and spluttered around his length, the hot and leaky cockhead bruising the back of your throat. Ghost seemed to love the sound, loved feeling you cough and try to gasp for air, his hand tightened in your hair as he let out a loud and gravely moan.

“You suck cock so much better with your life on the line.” He laughed, pulling you away from him and releasing your hair. He watched you cough and wipe drool off your chin and neck with the back of your hand.

“Ready to talk?” He asked, his breathing heavy and uneven.

“Fuck you.” Spitting the words out with venom.

“Sorry sweetheart that’s not on the agenda tonight.” You felt the rush of air before his palm made contact with your cheek, your hand immediately lifting to cradle it and feel the heat radiating from the irritated flesh.

“C’mon doe, I don’t have to be mean about this.” He barked, “Just use your big girl words.”

“L-Luke’s gonna be back up here any minute.” You stuttered, lifting your head in the general vicinity of where his would be.

“You realize you’re only making this more difficult for yourself right?” He asked, not giving you the opportunity to answer when he fisted your hair and forced your lips to meet the tip of the barrel of his pistol.

*shk* *click* **click** nothing.

Before you had time to process the fact that he had just pulled the trigger of a loaded gun in your mouth, you were being choked and not given any hope for breathing. His forefinger and thumb tightly clamped over your nose and his cock lodged in your throat as he fucked your face. Instinctively you tried to draw in a breath, accidentally breathing in saliva, making you cough so hard that Ghost had no choice but to back off.

“Ghost...” You dry heaved on your hands and knees. “I’m n-not gonna tell you.”

“What’s it gonna take huh?” He asked angrily, you could hear the sound of clothes rustling just before he lifted you up and shoved you over toward the bed. “What’s it gonna take for you to admit that you love me?”

“I don’t!” You yelled, taking off the blindfold and tossing it aside.

“I didn’t say you could take that off.” He snapped at you while pulling his gloves on, snatching the ring off your middle finger and shoving it down in his pocket. He whipped his head around toward the door suddenly.

“Shit.” He shoved the gun in the back of his waist band and grabbed his bag without explanation.

“What?” You asked sitting up on the bed.

“Gotta go.” He grumbled.

He grabbed the blindfold and slipped it back over your head, grabbing your jaw and tilting your head back, his lips met yours in a soft embrace. His tongue piercing gliding across the slit between your lips before pushing past them slowly, the taste of cigarettes and gum flooded your senses. He hadn’t tasted like this last time he kissed you.

He took one of your wrists in a gentle grip and brought it to his cheek. Ghost kept a loose grip on your wrist but he allowed you to feel the smooth skin beneath his eyes, your fingertips collecting the smallest amount of moisture in the outer corner of his eye.

He was crying.

He broke the kiss, your lips begging to stay connected to his. As much as you hated to admit it to yourself that kiss felt like home. The fact that he was shedding tears was unsettling, the car crash that was this relationship had officially gone beyond whiplash and into ‘trapped inside, in need of the jaws of life’ territory.

He took the same hand and pressed it to the center of his chest and left it there to put both his gloved hands on either side of your face, pressing his lips to your forehead. Their warmth left your skin and you immediately wanted it back.

He took the blindfold back off and smoothed out your hair quickly, putting the silk in his pocket and putting up his hood. The mask back where it belonged, those black pits where his eyes should be held an emotion that was pouring from every inch of his being. You felt like he was staring through you and straight into your soul. He stood beside the window with his bag slung over his shoulder. Who knew such strong emotion could be felt… seen, without ever laying eyes on the person emitting those feelings.

“Lock your window back.” He nodded toward you and promptly climbed out just as you heard the front door opening, he was gone before you even had a chance to get a second look as he ran off.

You did as he asked and locked the window before checking your appearance in the mirror, a mess was reflected back at you. You looked as if you’d been lost at sea. Tangled hair and ashen skin covered in streaked makeup. The churning in your stomach only rocked the proverbial boat more.

After a deep breath you brushed your hair and pulled the makeup wipes from your bag to clean up with.

“Hey!” You heard a sharp knock on the bedroom door and answered it while still wiping away at your face.

“What’s up?” You asked your sister as she pushed past you.

“Just checking on you before I went to bed, Lukey and I were out there for longer than we meant to be.” She shrugged on her way to jump on the bed, “Ow! Fuck.” She winced and picked up her bare foot, rubbing the sole with her thumb as she picked up the offending item.

“Who’s ring?” She asked, holding it up for you to see.

“Oh it’s just Anakin’s!” You lied, laughing anxiously and plucked it from her fingers, encasing it in your own hand. “Probably just fell out of my bag.”

“He has such a weird taste in jewelry. What even is that?” She pointed to your closed fist, and watched as you peeled back your fingers and exposed your palm.

It wasn’t a lie, it was Anakin’s.

“A centipede.” You swallowed, staring at the hunk of metal. “It- he always wears this one. I don’t… I’m not sure how it ended up in my bag.”

Your throat felt dry, your palms started to sweat. You felt like you might be sick. Why did he have Anakin’s ring? He hardly ever takes it off.

Diary Entry: September 3rd

I should have never taken those fucking rings off. I had to lie to you. It’s stupid I know but lying about something little like that is almost worse than the big secret you know? Cause I don’t want you to think I’m untrustworthy, I am. I’m very trustworthy.

You just let me shoot what you thought was a loaded gun in your mouth. I’d say that means you trust me quite a bit. Ghost, not me I mean. You trust Ghost with your life, but you can’t trust Anakin enough to tell him you love him?

Date

September 3rd (1:45 am)

Anakin jogged to the end of the driveway and hopped into the front seat of his car, taking off his mask and gloves. With the steering wheel in both hands he leaned forward to rest his forehead on the back of his hands. Keeping his grip at the top of the wheel with one hand he leaned back again, looking up at the roof of his car, his other hand going to pinch the bridge of his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone started ringing, he quieted himself and quickly strategized a set of half truths and full lies that he might need to use before answering the phone.

“Hey princess.” He sounded cheery as he picked up the phone, “lucky you, I was just going out to smoke.”

“Oh?” You asked, feeling relieved to hear that he sounded fine. Maybe ghost didn’t chop off his finger after all. “Sorry, I- I have a weird question.”

“I love weird questions.” He snorted, you could hear him flip open his zippo lighter and snap it shut after a long inhale.

“Are you missing any rings?” You asked, hoping he said no and that this was just a very odd coincidence.

You heard rustling on the other end of the line while Anakin frantically searched his pockets, coming up one ring short.

“Yeah I am actually, why?” He answered clearing his throat nervously.

“Which one?”

“My many legged lad.” He answered, instinctively flicking his cigarette ash with anxiety, the miniature embers floating down to his jeans. He quickly swiped them away and tried to remain focused. “I took it off to shower at your place last night.”

“I figured the cat knocked it off the sink or something.” He shrugged to himself, hoping it was enough of a lie to convince you that maybe Ghost snatched it off the sink.

“S-somehow it ended up in um, my bag I guess.” You said, turning the jewelry over in your palm, placing it on the nightstand beside the bed.

“Huh, well that’s fucking weird.” He chuckled, “I don’t know, babe. Just keep it safe for me til you get back I guess sweetheart.”

“I will, I’ve got it on the nightstand right now.” You answered, licking your bottom lip.

“Thanks babydoll, listen, I gotta go back inside.” He grumbled, sucking air through his teeth the way he always did on his last drag of his cigarette. “I love you doll. Sleep good.”

“Night Ani, text me when you’re home.”

“You got it baby." Anakin answered, his voice low and smooth.

A perfectly normal conversation. A perfectly normal explanation on his part. A completely plausible assumption that Ghost simply took it from Anakin. Though you’d never known him to be brazen enough to come around with Anakin there and awake.

A perfectly dreadful whisper floated in one ear and out the other.

—————-

Date

September 3rd (2:27 am)

Anakin walked circles around his car, desperate to find an escape, an excuse, an explanation. Something, anything to help him backtrack. He couldn’t go back to your cabin tonight. He’d made you lock the windows and he knew Luke would quadruple check that the front door was locked. He didn’t know your sister or Luke’s sleep habits so he didn’t feel comfortable picking the lock.

He would have to tough it out until tomorrow night.

You were very much in the same boat as him. Waiting anxiously to see if he would come back, to see what would happen.

You wanted to call Anakin again, just to hear his voice, to listen to the calming comfort of it. To affirm that all was well, he was safe and fine. That was the only reason. You just wanted to make sure he was safe. Anakin was perfectly capable of handling himself, but to your knowledge he didn’t own any weapons that he could defend himself with. As far as you knew, Anakin Skywalker was sweet and kind and soft. He was loving and gentle. He was the perfect man, the most wonderful thing to walk into your life.

Anakin loves you and you love him. You love him so much, so much that it hurts. You love him so much that you’ve refused to say it. To protect him, to protect yourself, to protect Ghost from the hurt of it.

That’s just it though, there is Ghost. He’s there at every corner, he’s the creak in the floor boards at night, he’s the figure you see in the corner of your eye, he’s the creepy feeling of being watched, the voice you swear you hear saying your name.

He cares for you, and he cares deeply. You know without having to hear it from him that he believes you’ve hung the sun and the moon, he knows all the stars in the galaxy twinkle just for you and he believes you should be treated as such.

For all his wrong doings he’s done something right, not the helpful little things nor the occasional softness he’s begun to show.

No it’s something else.

It’s a feeling so oddly tangible that you can feel it in your throat each time you swallow. There isn’t a name for it, no term that you’ve ever heard could properly define it. You know that much to be true.

It’s a pull, a strong and undeniable tether. Like a child and their security blanket. Visible or not, where there is one there is always the other.

You’d miss him if he were gone, much like you’d miss the comfort of a fresh from the dryer blanket. The fuzzy warmth that wraps you up so tightly, the feeling of being tucked away from the world in safety.

That heat fades quickly, just like he does. He’s present one moment and the next he’s left you alone and you have to start the cycle all over again. You stare at your reflection and watch the world tumble around you and he watches you from behind the glass until he’s ready to come out again.

You want to fold him up and lay him across the end of your bed. Within reach at all times, you don’t want the dryer door between you anymore. You don’t want the few moments of heat from the fabric.

You want consistency.

Anakin can give you consistency in a way that no one else ever has. You never have to worry about him leaving or being disloyal, you never have to voice your feelings or opinions if you don’t want to because he just knows. You never have to worry about anything. Except for Ghost.

With Ghost you know that you are without a doubt the safest person alive. You don’t have to think, you can just be and know he is there to do anything and everything for you. You never have to worry about anything. Except for Anakin.

————-

Date

September 3rd

Hiking had never been your favorite summertime activity, but you’d come to realize it wasn’t because of all the walking or the bugs, it wasn’t even because of the horrid, atrocious memory of the time you’d walked through poison ivy.

You didn’t like it because it gave you too much time to think. That was exactly the opposite of what you needed right now. Right now you needed nothing, you needed the cold emptiness that comes along with burying yourself in something that took up all your brain power until there was none left to dwell on your troubles.

By the time you’d reached your destination you were drenched with sweat in the most uncomfortable way imaginable. Your shirt stuck to you, the cups of your bra were damp and itchy, your shorts had ridden up and you weren’t entirely sure that you were wearing shoes instead of walking barefoot in a bog.

“Luke.” You grumbled, taking a long drink from your water bottle. “How long have we been out here?”

“About two hours.” He replied casually, not nearly as winded as you and your sister. “Let’s eat and we’ll head back.”

“Are we lucky enough to be on one of those trails that the start is long but the loop around is short?” Your sister asked, wiping her forehead with the inside of the collar of her shirt.

“You’re both wimps,” he scoffed and rolled his eyes, passing out sandwiches and chips. “No, the way back is the way we came.”

“You’re joking.” You complained with a scrunched up expression.

“No ma’am.” Luke responded and thumbed over his shoulder at the overlook you’d made the journey to see. Yes it was beautiful, but worth the blister forming on the back of your ankle? Definitely not.

“Unless you’d like to take a dip off the cliff edge.” He snickered, knowing damn well that you’d rather gnaw off your fingers than jump from this height. “It’d be a couple minutes swim to shore and you’d be at the cabin.”

“No way really?” You said, standing up and biting into your sandwich as you walked cautiously closer to the edge. Gazing down you saw the dock, your eyes traveling up the tiny- hardly visible- dirt path until you reached the cabin.

He was right, you tracked your hiking trail up the curve of the incline you’d suffered through, it was a massive arc. Leaving you staring at the comfort of the cabin, so close but impossibly far away. You looked for a moment more, the lake sparkling like glitter in the bright sunshine. A few boats disrupting the water as they sped past, far off the shore.

You snapped a few pictures and scrolled through them, nearly choking on your food as you spotted something you’d missed with your naked eye. Only seeing it now that you were scrutinizing the photos quality to decide which one you’d keep.

“Jesus, you alright?” Lauren asked, watching you thump the side of your fist against your chest. Breathing heavily through your nose while chewing the food to swallow it and chase it down with a gulp of water.

“M’fine.” You coughed, looking back down at your phone and then to the landscape below to see if he was still there.

You should’ve expected to find him, expected the way he made himself at home on the porch, rocking in a rocking chair. The scene was still jarring, even more so when you realized he wasn’t wearing his hoodie.

His bare arms on display, his chest and abdomen covering by a loose black tank top. You frantically tried to zoom in with your camera. But of course all you could see was a fuzzy blur of inked skin.

What luck.

He was there, in broad daylight without a staple piece of his ensemble, one he didn’t remove in front of you. Now you understood why he told you he’d be recognizable if you were to see his skin. He was covered in tattoos.

And it’s your unfortunate luck that despite being so close to him, it’d take an hour to get there. Your great luck that he’d left himself vulnerable to your gaze at a distance that would prove impossible to decipher his identity. He was doing this purposely, there was no doubt about it. Why else would he do something so risky?

Ghost was baiting you.

Like the stupid little fish you were, you nibbled on the hook until he was able to reel you in.

‘I see you’ You texted him,

‘Creep.’ He texted back, standing up from his rocking chair and walking to the front porch steps. He waved dramatically, the sun shining down on him and catching on the white plastic of his mask, making him plainly visible. You watched through the zoomed in and grainy image of your phone as he moved, hoping maybe it would clear up and you could see something identifying.

Suddenly you were reminded of something you’d learned in school, a book you’d read… maybe Nancy Drew? Signaling using a mirror or something reflective to catch a person’s attention, sometimes used as a means of communication in Morse code. Though this wasn’t nearly as sophisticated.

He had pulled out both his knives and flipped them, the sunlight refracting off the shiny silver blades erratically until it became one concentrated beam as he crossed the sharp edges over each other. Forming an X to direct to light straight at your face, promptly blinding you.

“Fuck.” You winced, stumbling backwards and causing your sister to gasp.

“Christ, what the hell are you doing?” She asked worriedly, standing up and walking toward you but not daring to move as close to the cliffs edge as you were.

“A- a bug or something.” You lied, rubbing your eyes to clear up the imprinted flash of light you saw each time you let your eyelids fall shut.

*ping*

‘See me now?’

‘Asshole.’ You mumbled under breath, looking back over the cliffs edge to see that he’d managed to get out of sight in the time it took for you to recover.

“Alright, let’s go back. I’m hot and sweaty.” Luke said, standing up and stretching. He packed away our trash and then shoved Lauren forward when she complained.

“I’ll push you off the edge if you don’t shut up and leave me be.” He snorted, dodging her water bottle that she swung by the handle at him.

“C’mon let’s go before you kill each other.” You said with a laugh, feeling better now that Ghost was -probably- gone for now.

After another hour of hiking back down the steep incline you’d just traveled up, you were grateful to collapse on the cold wood floor of the living room and bask in the cool air supplied by the window unit nearby.

——————————————————————————

Diary Entry: September 3rd

I’m so jittery waiting around for you guys to get the hell out of that stupid cabin. I have shit to do and you’re gumming up the works. I need to get your bathing suits, I scouted out around the lake last night when I couldn’t sleep. Not in my Ghost mask, I used a bandana. I think it’d be real unfortunate to get the cops called because Ghostface is roaming the pine woods.

Anyway, your bathing suits. I’m taking the ones I disapprove of. Did you know there’s a cabin full of jockey college boys right across the lake from you? You better not have planned that. They have a perfect view of the dock you’ll be swimming off of. Which means they were probably watching you last night when you were having your drinks.

I’m the only one who can watch you like that. Especially when you’re gonna be prancing around with that fucking ass of yours on display. ‘Ani, I’m just gonna wear it to tan in!’ Yeah alright. That’s the only reason doll? That’s the reason you brought a thong bikini to the lake? With a cabin full of testosterone waiting to catch a whiff of you from across the way?

I can’t believe you’re so stupid sometimes. I love you but damn do you have no self awareness? I’d let you wear it when I’m around. But I’m not. Not the way I want to be at least. I want to be there fucking you with my eyes and smacking your cute ass every chance I get. If I’m not standing there watching over you then those idiots might get the idea you’re wearing that shit for them and not me.

They don’t know you’re tanning, making that bangin’ fucking body sun kissed for my viewing pleasure when you return. They just see ass and tits and drool. I might drool yeah… but it’s only for you. I love you. I have eyes only for you and I always will.

Those dick-wads don’t know you or care about you. They lust over every bitch they see. You don’t want to make it easier for them do you? No? That’s what I thought. I know you didn’t do it purposely little doe. You can’t help it. You’re used to me being by your side and keeping you safe, used to wearing whatever you want when I’m around because you know I’ll fuck shit up if someone looks at you wrong. You’ve gotten used to it and didn’t use your little girl brain to make adjustments for the fact that Anakin wouldn’t be there for you.

Just another reason you should’ve brought me along.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Oh my fucking god it’s so fucking hot outside. What the hell is wrong with Luke? Making you walk up that MOUNTAIN. I totally would’ve followed but I’m actually busy trying not to fucking drown in my own sweat. There’s a bunch of reasons Ghost is mostly nocturnal. This is one of them.

I was being baked alive.

Anywho, I showered and now I smell like you, so I’m gonna wander about, have a wee little snack. By the way, I’m really sad you forgot the mustard.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Baby, don’t be mad I didn’t mean to almost make you trip. I just thought it would be a little funny. I was right. But I’m still kind of sorry.

I wish I could’ve seen your face.

‘Oh my god! His shoulders are out!’ Scandalous.

Risky? Yes. Worth it. Yes, can’t wait to hear you whine about it when I fuck you again.

——————-

Date

September 3rd

“Okay, let’s get ready for the lake.” Luke stood up and clapped his hands together once, a loud *pop* resounding through the living room.

“Already on it.” You huffed, throwing yourself forward into a sitting position and hopping to your feet.

You entered your room and noticed two things immediately: 1) the ring is gone 2) your red one piece swimsuit is on the bed. Upon further investigation you discovered a note laying on top of it.

Written in quick scratch was a short note from Ghost.

‘Doe,

I’ve taken the liberty of making adjustments to your wardrobe.‘

‘Adjustments?’ You thought, grabbing your bag and dumping it out on the bed.

The only things missing were your other bathing suits and your shower stuff, quickly grabbing the red suit you rushed to the bathroom and locked yourself in to change. Pushing back the shower curtain you saw your body wash and shampoo, the walls still wet from his shower. You couldn’t help but let out an annoyed huff.

Your phone vibrated on the side of the small bathroom sink, sliding across the porcelain and falling into the sink basin. You quickly fixed the straps of your bathing suit and retrieved your phone before the leaky tap could wet the screen.

A video message awaited you from ghost, the image from the thumbnail made you laugh in a choked kind of surprise. He was outside giving you a leather thumbs up, your hot pink string bikini on overtop of his black hoodie. As you pressed play the video was mostly silent other than the nature noises of the background until he flipped the camera around and zoomed in.

A low modified whistle left his lips as his camera focused on the bathroom window, your bare back in the frame for a moment before he shifted the camera slightly to get the mirror in front of you, showcasing your breasts as you changed into your swimsuit.

You swiftly spun around going to the window to scan the area, he couldn’t have possibly gotten too far away. Throwing open the window you stuck your head out and looked to the left and then to the right where Ghost had suddenly appeared, inches from your face.

“Ow! Fuck, agh-“ You yelped, whacking your head on the window pane while he laughed at your expense.

“Hey! You okay?” Luke banged yelled from the other side of the bathroom door.

“Y-yeah!” You shouted back, turning to look inside the bathroom again before turning back around to see Ghost had crouched down, out of view if you were to open the bathroom door.

“What are you doing? You’re takin’ ages.”

“Uh- sorry. Wardrobe difficulties.” You squeaked out, glancing back at ghost who was still wearing your hot bikini bikini top, sans bottoms… which was honestly a bit disappointing. You heard Luke walk off, yelling to your sister that you were probably ‘on the throne’.

“Who is he? The Queen?” Ghost’s mechanical voice came from beneath the mask.

“Close enough.” You shrugged your shoulders and watched as he stood up to his full height, his knees cracking upon the ascent.

“Why did you take my shit Ghost? I wanted to wear that!” Whisper shouting at him while you hung the upper half of your body out the window.

“That’s why I took it.” He said plainly. “I don’t want you looking like a fucking slut out there without me around to keep other eyes off you.”

“Who the hell is gonna see me out here!? You shouldn’t have even seen me out here!” You pointed angrily.

“Shut up, I know you’re happy I’m here.” He snarled, getting right in your face, reaching up to grab your chin. “I heard you last night.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You scoffed as if you hadn’t done exactly what he was insinuating.

“I don’t want the girl who moans for me to be ogled at by some fucking frat guys.” He barked, shaking your chin and digging in his leather fingers.

You turned bright pink. You couldn’t argue with his statement. You did moan for him. Under him, over him, even without him.

“What frat guys?” You stuttered, avoiding acknowledgement to the first half of his sentence.

“Across the lake.” He pointed, flicking out his knife to gesture in their direction. “Big group of ‘em. Paid them a visit last night just to check things out, you know I worry about you.” He said in a quieter tone, bringing the blade of his knife to your bottom lip and tapping it with the flat side.

“I would’ve never known they were there if you hadn’t told me.” You narrowed your eyes, speaking carefully as the knife rested against your lip.

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “Or maybe not.”

“What’s that supposed- shit, why?” You flinched and brought your hand to your mouth touching the nick he’d left when he quickly jerked the knife away.

“So you’ll think of me when you’re yapping to some no-count bitch boy from across the way.” He snapped back. His leathered thumb came up to spread the blood across your bottom lip and past it onto your tongue.

“It’s just a bonus that you bleed so fucking pretty.” He pushed your tongue down with his thumb, rubbing the crimson liquid into the squishy muscle, then curling the same thumb behind your bottom row of teeth and shifting his cock in his jeans with his free hand.

“Clean it for me baby?” His modified voice lower than usual.

“No, use your mouth doe.” He chuckled when you reached out to grab the knife from him to rinse in the sink.

“What?” You furrowed your eyebrows but opened your mouth anyway. He placed the blade on your tongue and nodded at you.

“Now suck it.” He grumbled, affectionately patting your cheek twice before using two fingers to push up your chin and close your mouth around the cool steel.

————————————————————————

“What happened?” You sister asked, touching the scabbed line that traveled up your ass cheek and disappeared beneath your swimsuit.

“Well, I just fell.” You muttered, pulling the hem line to cover more of it. “Don’t really know what cut me but it happened a little bit ago.”

“You need to be more careful.” She shook her head, finishing up her job of rubbing in your sun tan lotion. “I swear you’re worse than my toddler.”

“Oh shut up, I am not.” You scoffed, “there’s a difference between something you don’t have any control over and choosing to shove a pebble up your nose.”

“I- that was only one time! When will you let that go?” She asked grumpily. “What am I supposed to do, carry around a fucking periscope so I can see behind me?”

“I’m not- I was kidding.” You sighed, shoving her out in front of you, making her stumble.

You clicked the lotion shut and shook it up, slamming it down on the heel of your hand before putting a generous amount in your palm. You slapped it onto her back and rubbed it in, ignoring the hissing sound she made when the wet glob of sunscreen in your palm smacked her flesh and splattered messily across her skin.

“Caleb is just… an explorer.” Lauren said, trying to make it sound better than it was.

“I never shoved anything up my nose.” Luke chimed in from behind his sunglasses, sitting up against one of the dock posts. “Lauren, you know I was an ‘explorer’.”

“No. You were a bug boy.” You snorted, looking over at him with a little smirk.

“So what? I liked… like bugs. They’re cool okay?” He grumbled waving them off.

“Remember when you had Ants on a Log with actual ants?” You giggled, Lauren crouching down as she let out a guffaw.

“I was seven!” He said defensively, crossing his arms.

“Caleb is two. He can shove a pebble up his nose and it can be excused.” Lauren snorted, catching her breath. “You were seven, you knew better. You have no room to talk.”

“Okay mom,” Luke huffed, you knew without a doubt that he was rolling his eyes behind those glasses. “At least I don’t still pick my nose.”

“Hey! Sometimes you just gotta get up in there.” Lauren pointed at him, a scowl on her face. “Don’t lie, you pick your nose. Everybody does!”

“Uh… I mean I technically pick my nose. Just with a tissue.” You said, supporting your sister in your useless argument.

“So you’re both gross then.” Luke gagged and grabbed his stomach dramatically.

“If I’m gross, so are you.” You said, getting settled on your towel. “Lauren’s right. Everyone picks their nose.”

“You’re both horrible.” He grumbled, shaking his head before standing up and lowering himself into an inner-tube so that he could float on the water.

You all had a peaceful first half of your day, it was refreshing after the hike to relax in the sunshine, letting the heat lull you into a state of calm and the opportunity to think of nothing save for the concentration of singling out different nature noises just because you could. Cicadas, the occasional grunt of a bullfrog, Whippoorwills calling out to each other in the trees, the gentling lapping of the lake against the dock.

None of the city sounds that clouded your head and made it feel cluttered.

It was cleansing, a nice reset for your mental state. Exactly what you needed, exactly what you were so happy to be here for. Now if only you could get some clarity on the difficulty you’d return to after your weekend of being at ease.

Even in peace times nothing is perfect.

The gentleness of the world you’d drifted into was being infiltrated. The distant sounds of a boat zipping through the water at much higher speed that it should’ve, especially with the water skier attached to the towline. What could make it worse? Two jet skis flanked the boat at a good distance away, though it was clear they were all in one group. Shouting and laughing like drunken fools, which you were sure they were considering the way they were behaving.

You licked your bottom lip, reminded of the small nick Ghost had left you with. These must be the ‘no-count bitch boys’ he was referring to earlier. You had to admit, he was definitely right about that. Wrong about your willingness to speak with them though.

You huffed and stood up, deciding now would be a good time to take a refreshing break in the water. The liquid enveloped your skin, the heat of the sun having beat down on you had your flesh soaking up the warmth so much that the water felt cold. In involuntary shiver tickled your spine as you swam over to Luke where he’d floated a way from the dock.

Slowly but surely the boat along with its entourage weaved its way across the water to your side of the lake, you pushed Luke’s inner-tube back toward the dock to give -them- yourself some space.

“Thanks babe.” Luke said, dipping his hand into the water and flicking it at your face.

“Hey! I was trying to be nice!” You scowled, reflexively sliding your hands beneath the tube to dump Luke out of it.

“I could’ve drowned!” He gasped as he resurfaced, taking off his sunglasses so he could wipe the water from his face and shake out his hair.

“Oh whatever, don’t be whiny.” You grinned.

“Me? You’re telling me not to whine?” Luke tossed his glasses up onto the dock and made his way toward you quickly. “All I did was flick you with water and you tried to drown me!”

“I did not!” Squealing as he lifted you up and tossed you farther into the water. How such a scrawny little guy could do such a thing was beyond you, but you had no time to contemplate.

You only had time for revenge. Squinting beneath the murky waters you made your way to Luke, hearing him call out your name in garbled syllables.

Ever since you’d known Luke, he’s had an irrational fear of the tiny possibility that there may be an alligator in any body of water. Didn’t matter how far from the wetlands of the states you were. There was always a slim chance, to him at least.

Holiday Inn pool? ‘But it’s outside, it could’ve crawled in! Will you just check it?’

Tiny dollar-store-bought blow up pool in your backyard? ‘But the creek! The creek’s back there… I’m not going in till you do.’

It got to the point that it was so severe his dad had to come up with a ‘gator gauge’ which was really just a hand-held tennis ball launcher he’d spray painted green and put a ‘gator free’ sticker on the back of so he could prove it was safe. Top-notch, high security, military grade ‘gator gauge’ that doubled as the lazy way to play fetch with their dog.

It was mean. Maybe a bit cruel… but he deserved it. So you swam behind him and put the heels of your palms together, spreading your fingers and creating jaws. You’d disappear from sight for long enough that a hypothetical alligator could’ve dragged you off and you heard Luke call out for you again.

Your lungs started to burn and you knew it was time to enact your plan. Luke stood on his tiptoes in the water, the perfect opportunity to press your fingers and nails into the muscle of his flexed calf. He screamed and thrashed about, you let him go and backed up so you could resurface. You popped up and sucked in a deep breath that turned into a choked laughing fit.

“You little bitch!” He yelled, splashing as he swam at you, pushing you under the water by your shoulders. He quickly pulled you back up and shoved your shoulder. A pink tint to his cheeks from embarrassment, he huffed and splashed a wave of water at you.

“I could’ve drowned!” You mocked him, pretending to cough.

In your short time of distraction the boat and its occupants had cut the engine and let the momentum carry them closer. The jet skis now tethered to the back, the ladder down in the water. Despite the safer option a group of five guys jumped over the side and made themselves at home in your space.

“Hey! How are you ladies?” One of them asked, completely ignoring that Luke was right there with you.

“No soliciting, thanks.” Your sister popped her head up and shook her left hand to show off her wedding ring.

“Whoa, didn’t mean anything like that!” He laughed and his friends agreed. “Just wanted to say hello, see if you guys were up for a drink.”

“I think we’re just fine.” Luke spoke up from behind you.

“I wasn’t asking you.”

“Alright, let’s go.” Sighing you turned around and swam until you were able to touch the lake bottom, walking the rest of the way to the shore.

“Hope you’re going to get some mixers.” A different guy shouted.

“Going to get a restraining order if you don’t leave.” You shot back over your shoulder, earning a round of laughs from them, the opposite of what you’d hoped for.

“C’mon. Don’t be like that! Just give us a chance. We’re good people.”

“Good at ruining my day.” Luke mumbled, following behind me and scooping up his stuff and getting ready to leave.

“You’re going? Serious?” One of them laughed.

“You came over here uninvited, you’re not entitled to our company.” You said, turning around and walking toward the house.

“That may be true but you’ve certainly made up for it by jiggling that ass.” His friends snickered and one smacked his arm.

You reminded yourself that you were here to have fun. Not to argue with a man who has half the brain capacity of a drunk squirrel.

Deciding you couldn’t let them win, you figured you’d beat them in your own way. You continued on without another word, pretending you hadn’t heard them, instead pulling out your phone and sending a simple text message.

‘You were right.’

The answer was an immediate: ‘I know.’

Diary entry: September 3rd

I hate to say I told you so. But I will.

I. Told. You. So.

I was having a great time watching you, it was reminiscent of how I used to watch you have dinner and I’d eat with you. You’re so cute and playful… I love you so much. I know that Luke is super gay, that’s not why I’m jealous. I’m not worried about that. I’m not stupid and I’m not paranoid, I know better. I’m jealous because it should’ve been me that you were playing around with.

I’m jealous cause you didn’t invite me. I’m jealous that you got to swim and I’m sitting in a tree, soaking my shirt with sweat. I’m jealous that Luke had a beer. I’m jealous that your sister took a nap. I’m jealous that those shit-for-brains tried to talk to you. (I love your sisters fucking comeback though.)

I’m jealous that they got a better look at your sweet little ass than I did too.

I’m pleased that you were so off-put by their behavior that you texted me little doe. What a very good girl you can be, but, oh so good at being bad too. You’re just like me. Maybe I’m making it worse, maybe better. I don’t know, I don’t really care either.

I’m just excited.

My little doe is feeding that flame of deviancy hanging out deep within your stomach. I knew you had it in there somewhere, gods you’re just so fucking perfect. I’ve never felt more lucky. ‘Ghost, I’ve got one more day here. What if they come back?’

What if indeed.

Men can be unpredictable. A woman is safer in a pit of snakes that being alone with a man she doesn’t know. Which is why I try so desperately to protect you especially in situations like this. That delivery guy? He seemed harmless. But I dug a bit deeper and well, he wasn’t so harmless after all.

Now, these boys might be disgusting pigs who prefer to wallow in the squalor and bask in the glory of their custom made beer can wall. They don’t deserve anything too harsh. Also; Wow. It’s amazing how they’ve managed to drink that much and none of them have been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. But back to business, I personally don’t feel like killing anyone. I know for a fact you don’t. I also know that even if I did feel like it, I couldn’t because you’d definitely know it was me. Then what the hell would I do?

You had no good ideas. Which is not your fault, you just can’t think about these things on your own. You need guidance and that’s what I’m here for. So, I settled on something you’ve never done, I haven’t done in a long time, and it’s not technically illegal here… just heavily frowned upon. I hate their shit attitudes, they’re gross and they’ve disrespected you and that’s unacceptable. So a nice little bit of property ‘destruction’ is in order. Middle school memories, how sweet.

TP the cabin? Absolutely. Destroy their beer can wall? Definitely. Silly string their vehicles? Duh.

Fuck you before and after? Yes. Always.

Part Fifteen

Tag-List:

@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwars @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes-blog @shadowhuntyi @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero r @vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @lunalitva @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141 @hopesworlld @lonaah @guiltycherries @syralix @doblasftcisco @demieyesore @hemmoxloser

Thanks to @rottencandyblood and all their love❤️

THE TAGS LIST IS FULL! But if you want to be tagged I will comment ur username for you. Love you all so many.

[byechristopher]

can u do a fic where chris and reader are dating but reader gets insecure because she sees all these old pics and vids of chris with this girl he used to be with but they talk about it and they say to each other they're in love for the first time this is bad sorry but i'm lowkey sad and need this

Trust Me.

– CHRIS STURNIOLO FLUFF.

Author's note: Hey there, thank you for the request! Now, I didn't know how to bring up the old photos, so y e s, I used snapchat memories (happened to me, so..). I hope you like it either way. 🤍 Do not copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: None, sliiight angst. Did not proofread!

Usually, I'm not one to stare at people, but when it comes to Chris, I can never resist, even when he's doing the simplest tasks. We've only been dating for a couple of months, and while I wouldn't label myself as "obsessed," I find myself captivated by him.

My thoughts are interrupted by Chris (not that I mind) as I sit on the pavement, and he bends over to gently kiss the top of my head, his hands cupping my cheeks. I smile and grasp his hands, looking up at him to see his beautiful smile.

"Beautiful day today, huh?" he says, sitting down beside me, his head tilted back, soaking in the sunshine.

I gaze at him, appreciating the way the sun highlights his curls, makes his skin glow, and brings out the pink in his lips and the icy blue of his eyes. God.

"Yes, very beautiful," I chuckle, joining him in looking up at the sky, letting the sun caress my face as well.

"I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" he smiles and wraps an arm around my shoulders, bringing me closer to him so that he can press a kiss on my cheek.

"Yes, yes. Can I play that game on your phone?" I grin, knowing he is not able to resist that and he chuckles, giving me his phone.

"Here you go, babe."

He leaves and I immediately unlock his phone. I want to start the game but a notification from snapchat pops up and I accidentally press on it. I roll my eyes because it is one of these "memories" thingies, it said two years ago.

When it opens, my stomach drops. A few pictures and a video of Chris and his ex girlfriend are under this notification. I know I shouldn't feel anything but I do. Especially when I see how tightly he's holding her, the way he looks into her eyes. The video is my last straw – he's cupping her cheeks while pressing kisses all over her face, saying over and over again how much he loves her. He sounds very genuine. He's never told me he loves me. Ouch.

I quickly close the app and lock his phone, not in the mood to play any of the games on his phone anymore. I can't fathom my emotions – perhaps because I've already fallen for him, and the fact that he might not love me just yet triggers an unsettling feeling within me. Not a positive one.

I go back inside the apartment because I am not in the mood to enjoy any type of sunshine either, so when he's done and he doesn't see me there, he gets confused.

"Babe? Where are you?" his shouts reach me, and I take a deep breath, wondering whether I should tell him anything or just leave it be.

"Hey, I'm up here." I say, standing on top of the stairs as I look down at him.

His smile brightens and he starts walking up the stairs to meet me – he's got a fresh hoodie on now, his hair is damp and the fact that he looks like the cutest human being on earth doesn't help with the fact that I want to cry.

"Why'd you leave? I thought you wanted to stay outside for a while," he questions, pulling me close for a kiss.

"Yeah, just not in the mood," I shrug, failing to force a smile before heading to the bedroom.

"Babe." he follows, concerned, "is there something wrong?" he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"No.. just.. everything's fine." I realise how stupid I will sound if I say anything so now I am just stuck with my mood swings.

"You know you can tell me everything, yes?" he gets on his knees right in front of me as I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, placing his hands on my thighs and giving them a small reassuring squeeze.

I look down at him, then down to my fingers, really considering telling him now. With a small sigh, I cover my face with both hands, "I accidentally opened your snapchat memories." I say, really getting embarrassed now, "and it was you.. with.. yeah."

I can hear him sighing as well, knowing what I'm talking about, but he doesn't say anything for a while. Instead, he grabs my hands gently pulling them away from my face, bringing them both close to his lips so he can kiss them.

"Baby.. you know this means absolutely nothing now, right?" his voice is so sweet and gentle, like honey, it makes me want to cry.

"I know.. please, I just.. I don't know why I'm feeling this way." I know exactly why I'm feeling that way but I would never tell him that, he'd be so uncomfortable. Especially if he doesn't love me back just yet.

"It's normal, I think I would feel the same way if I saw you with your ex." he nods, still pressing kisses to the palms of my hands, "but you need to know that you're the only one I see. For a very long time now." his eyes look sincere as he makes sure to keep eye contact with me no matter how much I avoid it.

I don't say anything, I only nod – he gets up and quickly picks me up, making me wrap my legs around his waist as he sits at the edge of the bed with me in his lap this time. His hands touch me everywhere, my thighs, my waist, my back, my hair – his touch is feather-like, it feels dreamy.

"You know, baby.." he speaks with his gentle voice, "..I might not talk about my feelings as much as you do, but that doesn't mean I don't feel as much as you do." he buries his hand in my hair, his lips close to my ear, pressing kisses there and on my cheek.

I don't have the time to say anything because he continues, "I'm very, very bad when it comes to expressing my feelings, I think you know that by now." he chuckles a bit, making me smile a little bit, "but what I'm feeling for you, I don't think I've ever experienced before." he says and I don't want to get my hopes up but my heart definitely does something, "the moment I saw you, I knew. And that scared me. The fact that my heart felt something, by just looking at you."

I pull back just a bit to look at him, his hands now cupping my cheeks, caressing my skin, "and still to this day, even after all these months, I still feel the same way I felt when I first saw you." he presses his forehead against mine, kissing my lips every now and then, "I am.. madly in love with you, baby." he whispers and I almost widen my eyes.

"What–" only this word comes out of my mouth but I want to grab him and kiss him and tell him a million things. But nothing else comes out and my heart starts beating fast, like crazy.

"Yes. I am sorry if it's too soon for you. But I wanted to say it to you since like.. the first month. I just didn't want you to think of me as a weirdo.." he chuckles and I chuckle, too, "and anyway, you know I don't necessarily like expressing my feelings but sometimes it is necessary for the both of us."

"I am in love with you too.." I smile, my arms wrapping around his neck to bring him even closer to me, "and I have been for a while now." I whisper against his lips.

"Shit. You're doing it again.." he whispers, his smile so big, "the thing. My heart." he whispers again and I laugh softly.

"Stop. I love you." I say and my heart feels at peace.

He smiles, wrapping his arms around my waist again, hugging me close before kissing me again, "I love you too."

[ghostwrittenmadness]

prologue- the major//minor archives

masterlist

"Hello, my name is Eliza." The blinking red light of the camera taunted her as she shifted from foot to foot. "Maybe I should have come up with a script for this, but the rest of it wont be scripted, so why should the intro?" Silence from the camera. Oh man this was going to be hard. From beside the tripod, James gave her an encouraging thumbs up. Clara seemed unamused.

"Anyway, my name is Eliza Jones, and welcome to my mini series! I'm going to call it Major and Minor! Its goal is to document The Condensing and its impacts. While it happened three years ago, and we have made many great strides to normalcy- there is still much to be done." She looked at her friends again. This time Clara was nodding along. "I was not directly impacted but The Condensing, but many of my close friends were. It's something that changed their lives forever, and it's disheartening to watch society loose steam about an issue so prevalent." Across the room, Robin opened the door quietly, two passengers in tow, and took a spot next to James. Perfect timing, everyone was here. "I know I'm using a lot of big words and talking about such a serious topic, but my goal of Major and Minor is to casually spread awareness through silly little vlogs with my friends! We attend Westdale College, which happens to be located in the most integrated city in the country. And yet, as you follow our lives, I hope you'll notice how much more we need to do. Ready to meet my friends?" She motioned for Robin and James to take her place in frame, before stepping behind the camera and taking it off the tripod. The Condensing, as it had been dubbed, was a vaguely described government plan to help with over population, lack of resources, and a nationwide housing crisis. According to them at least. It was hard to remember the specifics of what happened, partly because there was none. It was chaotic and fast. People were chosen at random to 'participate' in The Condensing, which was apparently a literal term. Participation wasn't optional, and nobody really knew what was going on until 25% of the population over the age of 15 was reduced to around three inches tall and moved into tiny cities across the country. The two groups were very separate at first, but in the three years since, places have put in work to connect the two groups. Eliza felt fortunate enough to have been raised in Westdale, the leading city to do so. "Everyone, meet James Nelson!" She said, zooming in on his face. He had light brown hair that fell slightly over his blue eyes. With his free hand, James waved, before Eliza lowered the camera to his other hand. "And Clara Grace." The three inch redhead was crosslegged in James' palm. She gave a half hearted salute. "Up next we've got Robin Gray," She panned out to the girl next to James, with cherry red hair and dark lipstick on. "Finally, thing one and two: Kai Bennett and Cooper Bell." The two were pressed close on Robin's shoulder. They were perfect contrasts of one another. Kai's short black hair against Cooper's wild blond strands. Kai's sweater was blue and Cooper's was bright orange. Kai waved at the camera and Cooper covered his face. "No flash photography." "Jesus," Clara groaned. Eliza set down the tripod and joined her friends in frame. "This will be fun! I've always wondered what it would be like to be a vlogger! Anyway, that's all for now, maybe I'll add more, maybe I'll post this intro on its own, but we'll see you next time!" Some of her friends had taken more convincing than others. Clara was hesitant, claiming to not have much of a life to document. Robin, a film major, was quickly on board. Kai and Cooper were split, but whatever one did the other did too, and Kai came out victorious. James humored the group, as always. Everyone had some sort of camera, even if it was on their phone, and the plan was to record their day to days individually for Eliza to compile. Maybe they'd throw in some themed videos too, but she didn't think that far yet. Clicking off the camera, she turned to her friends. "Lunch?" "Thought you'd never ask." "Let's go." "Finally." She shook her head with a grin.

next

[pennyplainknits]

More Joy Day: some vids I love

I meant to do something more substantial for More Joy Day, I even recorded a podfic, but I was really unhappy with it. I didn't want to let the day go without marking it, so below are some vids that bring me joy. I hope they bring you joy too, and that you'll spread that by leaving a comment for the vidders as well! Where I have it I've added a link to tumblr or AO3 to make that easy

Freedom Ride by Sally Sparrow

This is such a gleefully fun look at how everyone wants a piece of Steve Rogers, set to a song that can't help but make you want to dance. Also a lovely reminder of the fun and possibilities of pre-Endgame Marvel tbh.

A Better Son by Neery

There's just something wonderful about how this song works for S1 Stede, it remains one of my favourite character studies of him, capturing his dramatic nature, his grit-your-teeth-and-smile approach to the world.

Bethlehem Steel by AurumCalendula

Speaking of character studies this is study, lament, epitaph. Dean Winchester, in all his skills, contradictions, and trauma. I especially love the opening montage of his hands, and the fast, choppy editing. The song choice is inspired too.

Devil's backbone by secretlytodream

A very different Steve Rogers vid to Freedom Ride. I love how it builds, and how it shows how very little choice Bucky had in any of what happened but how Steve chooses him time and time again.

Hail Satan by Tafadhali

Sometimes a vid isn't so much a celebration as a stern FUCK YOU to canon. I said when I first watched this I could feel the anger vibrating off it, and it inspired my own ST vid Brutal. Great song choice, and really great use of the limited amount of screen time Corroded Coffin gets too

To Wreck, Jedusaur/@jedusaur

Speaking of fuck yous to canon.... Not only is this a fantastic, pointed, angry vid, with a gutpunch when you realise just what the vid is about, the first time i saw it also has joyful memories attached, as I watched it premiere at bitchin party far too long ago.

Potential Break Up Song by sisabet

Just roll around in the most toxic of toxic breakups. I watched Smallville for far too long because of Michael Rosebaum's face and this is a really good exhibition of why. His ability to make one of THE comic book villains the poorest little miaow miaow.

Wait for it by booksandwildthings

(I only have the YouTube link for this). This remains one of my favourite Obi-Wan vids, though really this whole playlist could be Obi-Wan. I like the usage of the cartoon source, and the impact the switch to live action makes. It also really throws into sharp relief how much Obi-Wan loved Anakin, which of course makes his betrayal hurt even more (flashing lights in this one)

Whoomp (There it Is) by Sisabet

Has me grinning the whole way through. Saving the world with friendship and nail bits! This has such great movement and the editing is spot on. The lyric matching is so fun too. (flashing lights in this one)

Spring Break Anthem by emotionallyits2009

If Bethlehem Steel is Dean As Tragedy, this is Dean as well...just watch. The comedy in this vid is so well done, and I really love the way it highlights Jensen's comic chops, while also exploring the darker underbelly of Dean's hedonism.

And apparently I only get 10 vids per post?? So I guess this is part one of two

[lillian-gallows]

Kinktober Day 26: Overstimulation with Din Djarin

Pairing: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader Word Count: 1239 Warnings: Overstimulation, Crying during sex (In a good way), Squirting, Oral (F receiving), Vaginal Fingering, P in V sex, Sex Toy used on reader. Kinktober Master(sub)list.

Minors DNI

A live wire. That was the only way to describe how your body currently felt.

Din has had you in bed for the last who knows how many hours, pulling orgasm after orgasm from you in any way he could think of, and a few ways that you had told him about from a raunchy holo-vid you saw once.

The pair of you hadn’t had much time alone recently, between bounties that just kept getting further and further away and taking care of Grogu, there just wasn’t much time to indulge in each other or relax.

But right now. Din was between bounties, and Grogu was with Peli, who had winked and smirked when you two had rushed off after passing your child off to her, and you could finally breathe and rest for a couple days.

Well, maybe rest wasn’t the right word for what you’d been doing thus far.

You’ve lost track of how long you two had been in bed. You were pretty sure it was still morning, but you’d woken up to Dins mouth sucking on your clit, so checking the time hadn’t really been a priority at the time.

You might have glanced after coming down from that first orgasm, but he’d not given you much time to do even that before he was working you up again with his fingers. You’d tried to get him to come up from between your thighs so he could fuck you properly, but he’d insisted he had a plan and didn’t want to stop now.

What that meant you were still finding out.

You’d cum on his fingers, then again on his tongue, then he’d retrieved a toy that you’d gotten not too long ago for when he’s gone on long hunts and made you cum on it, twice.

Your body was more than sensitive at this point, and you hadn’t even had the pleasure of having his cock yet!

He was currently in the process of finger fucking you again while his mouth once more latched onto your swollen and tender clit, he’d at least had the good grace to ease up a little so it wouldn’t hurt.

You were a sweating, whimpering, shaking mess and the look in his eyes when he looked up at you from between your thighs was ravenous.

“Din…Fuck…I don’t-Ngh…I don’t know if I can cum again…” You whimpered, a high airy sound that matched well with your quivering legs and tightly gripping hands on the sheets.

He hummed and it sent a jolt through you that he must have felt because his eyes lit up. “Yes, you can, Cyar…” He rumbled, hot breath feeling almost scalding on your hypersensitive flesh. “You can give me at least two more…I know you can…”

How in the galaxy he could possibly know something like that, you had no idea, but you were teetering on that precipice once more, so you weren’t about to stop and ask questions.

Especially not when he crooked his fingers just right to press perfectly on your sweet spot while humming again on your clit.

That sound that came from you was desperate and pleading, for more or for mercy you weren’t sure, but it didn’t really matter, not when you felt like your body was filled with lightning in the best way. There was also something else there, a soft pressure that felt a little like you needed to pee, but also not at all like that. But it was gone as quickly as it came.

After all that time between your legs and out of your reach, you were a little shocked when he slowly crawled up your body, kissing your skin tenderly as he went before ending the trail at your lips.

“Din…” You whispered against his lips, what you wanted from him you weren’t sure, your mind still craved him, but your body was begging for a break.

You knew that if you told him to stop, told him you were done, he’d stop and pull you into his arms to cuddle till the sun went back down. But you’d be lying if you said that you weren’t incredibly curious what his goal was, if there was one beyond just getting absolutely drunk on each other.

He stayed there for a handful of minutes, just holding and kissing you, hands roaming more or less innocently. He’d ordered you to tease your nipples while he was fucking you with the toy, so they were as pink and sensitive as the rest of you, and his chest pressed to yours felt a thousand time more intense than it normally did.

You could feel his hard cock pressing between you, leaving small trails of precum on your skin when his hips moved, he was as desperate as you, and it showed.

Soon his kisses moved down to your neck while his hands massaged your breasts, lightly pinching at your nipples, which caused you arch up into his with a gasp that had him smirking.

He didn’t tease you like that for long as one of his hands moved down to line himself up with your entrance.

He felt absolutely massive in your swollen cunt, and he seemed to notice the difference too as his breathing was utterly wrecked, his eyes were squeezed shut as he sheathed himself inside you slowly, clearly trying not to cum just yet, but given the way every nerve in your body was alight you weren’t sure you would be able to hold on yourself.

Your arms wrapped around him tight, holding on the only line to sanity you had left as he started to rock into you, groaning in your ear on every thrust while you were whimpering, the mix of pain and pleasure had tears springing to your eyes, but you didn’t pay them any mind.

“Din…Fuck, Din…” Those were the only two words you had left, and they were playing on a loop from your lips, gasped, moaned, whimpered, cried out to the ceiling, and every repetition of them had him gripping you just a little tighter.

You almost hadn’t even noticed the tightening of your belly with the way your whole body has felt like a tight wire for the past couple of hours, and by the time you were teetering on the edge you could tell Din was right there with you, just waiting for you fall so he could follow.

And fall you did. You’re pretty sure you passed out for a couple moments, as everything went white, then went black, and when you came to again your body felt like you were made of liquid.

Wait. No. That was the strange dampness of the sheets under you. What the fuck?

Din let out a breathy chuckle when you managed to open your eyes. “I knew you could do it…” He said softly before pressing a kiss to your forehead. His words made it click for you what had just happened, what his goal had been.

He was trying to work you up enough to make you squirt, which you had thought you couldn’t do when it was brought up, but he’d been certain he could make you do it.

A breathless chuckle fell from your lips at this realization reached your pleasure-soaked brain, and Din was right there with you.

Laughing in a heap of loose limbs on your bed.

[girl-in-the-mirrorbluenight]

Okay I've been thinking about this pretty much all day since I saw the hbomberguy and then todd in the shadows video i just have so many thoughts. While I wouldn't necessarily call myself a Video Essayist™ (I've only made a few over the years) as a youtuber and someone who has made video essays i definitely have more experience than the average person. There are so many things that stand out to me about this whole debacle i dont even know where to start.

First I want to just give a little insight into the process for making video essays from people who've never given it a shot and just how absurd it is to do the type of plagiarizing James has done. Video essays take a fuckton of research, even for pretty simple topics, but on top that you also have to make them with the medium of video in mind. it's really not enough to just take an essay you would write for a class and read it out loud. the flow is different, you have to have accompanying visuals, often background music, etc. They're a beast to make. My Twisted video for which i used literally two sources for my research (Sondheim's books and the musical Twisted) still took days of thorough reading, note taking, watching the musical, watching the musical again, watching the musical and taking notes, cross-referencing my notes, etc. For videos that synthesize multiple sources or are covering multiple pieces of media, that time goes up exponentially. Then there's writing, recording, gathering clips (often one of the most difficult parts depending on how obscure what you're talking about is), and editing. Even for a silly video like my Glee video, I still had to do a ton of research to make sure I was getting things correct, and that was a funny tier list about freaking Glee! There is just no way you could come up with a thorough analysis by just copying and pasting. Which brings me to my next point.

I think James may have thought (or more likely rationalized) what he was doing as analysis based on like the vaguest definition. When you do any kind of analysis, what you're doing is taking research from multiple different places (news articles, primary sources, existing analysis, etc.) and coming to your own conclusions, whether that's a synthesis of those different sources, or applying it to a specific thing like a movie. Really simple example is my Twisted video where I take Sondheim's writing and apply it to a specific piece of media (in this case Twisted). I'm using existing work but coming to my own conclusion. In the Spies Are Forever video, I took existing research about the Lavender Scare and the Hays Code, including primary sources from the time period, and applied it to the musical Spies are Forever. What James seem to do is take a bunch of existing scholarship, copy and paste it all together and then come to a "conclusion" that was not actually his own original thoughts but either "facts" he completely made up or something that didn't do anything to actually link his other "sources" together. I can see why it has the veneer of analysis, but making up a random "fact" you think might be true is not the same as a drawing a conclusion based on research.

I also think Todd made a really good point in the part about England's propaganda campaign against Italy around 9:30 that it's just really bad video making to not include examples of images from this so called propaganda campaign. I have a ton of examples of news clips, government reports, etc. in my SaF video about the Lavender Scare because...it was a real historic thing that happened! If something was supposedly so widespread and not even that long ago, you can probably find evidence of it somewhere. Kaz Rowe (who is also linked in the queer creators playlist on hbomberguy's vid) talked about this a lot in their video about tiktok misinfo where people often make these outrageous claims but the thing is if something so outrageous happened (like people constantly shitting on the floors of versailles), other people at the time would probably be talking about it somewhere. It's a big red flag when someone makes such bold claims and has no evidence to back it up.

Putting this last section under the cut because I go talk about WWII, Nazis, and HIV/AIDS a bit (watch Todd's video for some more context) so if you don't want to see that post is over here.

Lastly I wanted to talk about something else Kaz brings up in a lot of their videos when talking about historical topics and that is the tendency to dehumanize people of the past, often as unwashed, unintelligent masses who would just do any ridiculous disgusting thing because they were so stupid and disgusting. There are a lot of things to criticize about the people of the past and their actions obviously, but we cannot forgot that they were in fact, people. Real individual people with their own lives and dreams and ambitions and individual opinions and they have never been and never will be a monolith. Claiming anything is broadly true of "the victorians" or "the ancient egyptians" or whatever other vague historical group you want to talk about is usually a lot more nuanced than "they all thought or acted in this one particular way". I'm certainly not a historian and i've only done one history focused video but James Somerton seemed to make a lot of broad historical claims in his videos that I think fall into this trap.

The one that stood out most to me in Todd's video was the claim about Nazi body standards which is a whole mess in general that Todd goes into for a while, but the way he talks about WWII soldiers was just like...weird. Besides the fact that a lot of his claims about Nazis seem to be bordering on glorifying them and their aesthetics (gross), I think we should remember that WWII was less than a century ago. There are still over 100,000 surviving WWII vets in the US. My grandfather who was in the Army during WWII (he didn't serve overseas but he was an enlisted soldier I can literally look up his enlistment records in the national archives online) was a real person who I obviously knew personally and who died fairly recently. To think he enlisted because he was jealous of German fitness or whatever and wanted to prove how tough Americans are is an absolutely hilarious thing to think if you knew him. I'm sure there are as many reasons for enlisting as there were enlisted soldiers. When James talks about even as relatively narrow of a group as "WWII American soldiers," he's still talking about a very large group of real and diverse people and to make such broad claims that "most" or even "a lot" of them were just so taken in by strong german physiques or whatever is frankly insulting. I haven't watched the entirety of James video so maybe he does address this at some point, but from the clips I've seen it seems very generalized and implies some level of racism when WWII soldiers in fact included a lot of racially diverse people. IDK, i think if you're a supposed historical researcher and you're making a video about WWII and you don't know about groups like the Tuskegee Airmen or the Navajo Code Talkers, that's on you. I don't want to discount some of the really horrible shit that American (and obviously other countries) soldier's did in the war and how many of them held disgusting views (even my grandpa who I love dearly was not the most politically correct person to put it lightly) but Jame's claims are not criticizing any real ideology or the consequences of them, they're oversimplifying complex and harmful historical ideas and attributing them to something he pretty much made up. I'll also give you a little hint about something. When people fall into Nazi ideology, it's because they ultimately agree with the ideology, not for some surface level aesthetic reason of "fitness" or whatever. They are antisemitic, they are racist, they are eugenicists, plain and simple. They don't just think the Nazis are cool except for all their beliefs. I also think (and again I could be missing a part of the video here) the hyper focus on the Germans and the Soviets and not mentioning Italy is at the very least an oversight too. Mussolini, like Hitler and Stalin, had a pretty big campaign of promoting an ideal strong race which he tied to ancient Romans. Like this was also a country controlled by a fascist dictator that American soldiers fought in idk it just seems weird to me to leave it out. (okay edit i looked up the transcript and he does talk about Italian fascism a little bit but only about how Mussolini rose to power, nothing about his ideologies or anything really related to the main topic of body image).

And one more thing on that note that bothered me a lot. I think his claims about HIV/AIDS is probably the most well-known here on tumblr and has been pretty thoroughly destroyed by this point, but I do just want to say one more thing about it which is that AIDS isn't gone! I feel like they way he talks about it from what I've seen of this video makes HIV/AIDS sound like a problem of the past now that we have drugs for it, but that is just not the truth. There are still tens of thousands of new infections in the US each year and way more globally and yes, people do still die from it. I just don't like when people talk about AIDS as if it's this problem of the distant past, a separate era that people went through in the 80s rather than an ongoing epidemic that still does not have a cure. Safer sex, clean needle usage, and getting tested are just as important now as they were in the 80s and 90s and don't forget that.

[burnwater13]

Concept art by Christian Alzmann. Image depicts Grogu sitting on Ossus and holding a frog in mid air using the Force, while Luke Skywalker (partially in frame) sits watching him. Image from The Book of Boba Fett, Season 1, Episode 6, From the Desert Comes a Stranger.

Djarin had noticed that Grogu was being more and more rebellious and more obstinate when it came to doing simple things like cleaning his room, helping with chores around the cabin, and minding his manners when they travelled anywhere other than Tatooine. He’d tried to talk to his apprentice about what was going on, but Grogu would just wave him off and ask what they were having for their next meal. 

The Mandalorian sighed just thinking about how often that had happened lately. Simply reminding him not to slam doors around the cabin became a routine discussion. The last time he asked Grogu to be a little more careful, his son just pouted at him until he returned the damaged door to its frame. Djarin had to take it to his work shop to repair the hinges, which had gotten bent and somewhat mangled. 

It was a tell tale that Grogu had used the Force to close the door, rather than just leaving it open while he did whatever he needed to do. He tried to talk to Grogu about that too. Being more careful when he was using the Force. That just produced more pouting and a comment the boy obviously thought he hadn’t heard, ‘I wish I was back on Ossus’. Ouch. That had hurt. 

Din Djarin had never seen himself as a potential parent or even the training officer for another bounty hunter or Mandalorian warrior. It had been hard enough for him to learn to do those things for himself. He’d been grateful to the Mandalorians who had saved him all those years ago, but that had quickly turned into a constant state of panic and anxiety. He was so far behind the other kids his age. He had to work so hard and he’d messed up so many times. 

There was the time his squad, they couldn’t have been more than twelve years old or so,  had been given a very simple task. The five of them needed to infiltrate a warehouse operated by some merchants on Concordia and bring back ‘proof’ of their success. Djarin had suggested that they bring back a vid showing that they had arrived, entered, performed their perimeter check, and left without being apprehended. Simple right? Wrong.

The others agreed right up to the point that they realized the warehouse contained all sorts of weapons and ammunition. He had order the other members of the squad to return the items. This task was about having discipline and following orders, not running amok. They disagreed and proceeded to take whatever they could carry. He refused to do the same.

At the time it proved to be a good thing. He was the only one who could open or close any of the doors and access points they had used to gain entry. When they returned to the enclave, he reported his squad to their commander for failing to follow the mission parameters. His training officer was quiet while he reported and while he hadn’t felt good, he hadn’t felt bad either. 

“Din Djarin you need to choose who you are. Are you a Mandalorian or are you a boy who can’t handle the responsibilities that are assigned to you? You let them take the weapons. Own it. Or stop it. Don’t complain about it. Do you understand?”

He had swallowed his pride, little that he had and nodded his head. He understood. He was between a rock and a Mandalorian. It was a hard place to be. He had to make a choice and go with it. He hadn’t done that. He heard those words many times as he continued on his path. Own it or stop it. He had heard those words again as soon as he’d seen Grogu’s pram on that trash heap on Nevarro. He couldn’t own it so he had to stop it. 

Now he was standing in the cabin and he and Grogu hadn’t shared a civil word with each other for two days. He’d asked Grogu to please clean up his room and before he knew it there was the sass, the bad attitude, and a door slamming. This time he just let Grogu have the peace and quiet. They spent so much time together and Grogu really needed some friends his own age. People he could complain to and gripe with when Djarin or their parents had asked for one thing too much out of them. That had been something the Mandalorian had really missed from his childhood on Aq Vetina.

Grogu had spent the morning quietly at the table in the main room of the cabin, using his data comp to do something. He wasn’t watching Diggle and Daggle, that much was clear. He didn’t have his headphones on. Djarin had asked him to watch those with headphones on because he found them so distracting. He loved the show and wished he could just lay down his work and watch them with Grogu, but good Mandalorians were disciplined and he was a good Mandalorian. 

He took a deep breath and walked over to his apprentice. His son. His best and most important responsibility and decided to break the icy quiet.

“Whatcha lookin’ at buddy?”

“Love you, dad.”

“Love you too, buddy.”

Djarin had made the right choice and was happy to own it.

[pavlovianfuckery]

you know what they say about slippery slopes

AO3

The Master-masterlist

Fandom Masterlist

A/N: This was supposed to be just a regular massage but my finger slipped (snerk) and, well… things happened. sidenote; I am definitely blaming part of this on this one vid David Anders posted on Instagram a few months ago that did like, irreparable psychic damage to me, I should not be allowed on the internet anymore probably

the plan was to write something cute for valentines but *gestures vaguely* i am the way i am

Summary: Ever wanted to take a very pretty fictional man, oil him up, rub him down and give him a happy ending? Yeah, me neither

Pairing: Blaine DeBeers/F!Reader

Notes: there's the massage thing and the massage thing, handjob stuff, bullying the man a little, some fluffy bits

Length: 6.9k

It's so late that it's almost early and after a long shift, all you want to do is get home and fall into bed. Sadly, there's still tables to wipe down and a floor to sweep. At least you don't have to close down the bar, though you would feel a bit more grateful about it if it wasn't for the fact that Don E keeps whistling a jaunty little tune while he does it.

Home. Shower. Bed. Peace and quiet. Mentally repeating the words like a mantra you grit your teeth, letting out a quiet sigh of relief when the whistling stops. The blessed silence doesn't last long, though.

"You know it's your boyfriends birthday in a couple of days, right?"

With the prospect of potentially living forever hanging over your head, things like birthdays don't really feel important anymore, so you hadn't even thought to ask Rather than telling him that, you roll your eyes and keep sweeping, fighting to get a particularly stubborn line of debris into the dustpan.

"He's not my boyfriend, Don E." You've been trying not to risk ruining everything by putting some sort of label on it, so you're not sure what Blaine is to you, anymore. You're pretty sure it's not that, though, and until you figure it out you'd rather focus on the here and now.

"Ha!" He stops wiping the counter and points a finger at you, looking completely convinced that he's caught you out. "Knew who I meant though, didn't you?"

Which, alright, maybe he has a point. Not that you'd admit that. Rather than argue you shrug, steadily making your way around the room, though perhaps gripping the broom a little tighter.

"And you're telling me because…?"

"Because he gets so damn mopey, every. Single. Year. If I have to put up with that one more time, I might ask Candy to push my head into the deep fryer."

"Bit of an over-reaction if you ask me." He looks so hard done by, and it almost makes you feel a bit bad for him. Though that might be because you almost can't keep from laughing. "And I'm still not seeing how it's my problem."

"I was kind of hoping you'd do a friend a favor and, you know," he shrugs, the rag in his hand flapping a bit sadly, "work your feminine wiles on him or whatever. Maybe stage a little intervention."

"An intervention, huh?" Sounds positively hare-brained, but you suppose it won't hurt to at least hear him out.

"You know, take one–" He makes an obscene gesture, "for the team, cheer him up."

"…I'll think about it." In fact, your mind is already starting to whirl with ideas and you lean against the broom, mulling a few of them over. Maybe…

"Come on, be a team play–"

"You really don't have to keep doing that." When he does it again, you can't stop from laughing, just a little. "No, really, please stop, I got it."

Sweeping the last of the dust up, you go to empty the dustpan in the trash. You've got a few ideas already, but maybe you should do some reconnaissance before deciding anything.

"I'm heading out, you got the rest covered?"

"Sure do," he does a lopsided salute before going back to wiping down the bar. "Godspeed, soldier."

⁂

You're still smiling when you knock on the wall that acts as a doorway to the office, not waiting for a response before stepping through the gaping hole in the brick.

He looks about as tired as you feel, leaning back in the office chair and scowling at the open laptop in front of him.

"So I take it your evening has been about the same as mine?" Rounding the desk you step behind the chair, sneaking your arms down and rest your hands on his chest. "Hoping yours had less handsy customers, at least."

Casually wrapping a hand around your forearm, he lets out a long-suffering sigh.

"This your way of asking for a raise?"

"No. In fact…" Drumming your fingers against his chest, "a little birdie told me that it's your birthday soon."

"Was the birdie bald, by any chance?" He snorts, shaking his head. "Doesn't matter. Your point being?"

"The point is that apparently the situation is so dire that I've been tasked with staging an intervention."

"Sounds serious."

"I thought so too." Leaning down, you rest your chin on his shoulder. "It doesn't have to be anything, I can just…come over, bring some food, and we'll see where the evening goes. No pressure."

"Might not be such a good idea, doll." His grip around your arm tightens almost imperceptibly.

"You sure?" Rubbing your cheek against his, you decide to try and bargain a little bit. "There might be a gift for you to unwrap…"

"That a promise?"

⁂

In some ways it feels a bit like being back at the start again, standing outside his door. Except this time, there's no nervous twisting in your belly, no hesitation in ringing the bell. As the door opens this time there's no quip from him, and though the jeans are the same, the dress shirt from back then is swapped for a dark gray t-shirt that looks soft from wear.

"Hope you're hungry." Hefting the bag from the usual take-out place, you step inside. "Got your favorite, extra spicy."

Dropping your overnight bag at the end of the kitchen counter for now, you get started on unpacking the food. There's an empty martini glass by the sink, and he's definitely a little tipsy, but you'd more or less expected that.

You end up eating in the kitchen, and while it's a bit more on the quiet side than it usually is, it's nowhere near as bad as you'd thought it was going to be. By the time the food is mostly gone you're pretty sure that the situation had been exaggerated. Maybe not outright lying, because there is something almost subdued over him tonight, but nowhere close to how bad Don E had made it sound.

"I did actually get you a gift, by the way." Gesturing with the chopsticks, you almost drop them, making him shake his head at you with just the hint of a smile.

"You realize I can just buy whatever I want for myself, right?"

"I know." For some reason you almost feel a bit shy, picking at the last of the food with a shrug. "It's silly, but a friend brought me to this new shop a while back and I saw this there and thought of you." Reaching over to your bag, you fish around in it for a moment before retrieving a gift bag. Plopping it down unceremoniously on the counter, you slide it over to him. "Not much to unwrap, but I hear it's the thought that counts."

Tugging the ribbon at the top open, he cautiously peeks in the bag.

"You got me…coffee?"

"Told you it was silly." Maybe it was stupid. Why couldn't you have thought of something else? "But this new place does these fancy artisan blends, and they just started doing ones with chili. That's supposed to be the hottest one, and I remembered that you like coffee, so…"

What feels even sillier is the fact that you feel embarrassed at all. He's been inside of you in every way that matters, so something this small shouldn't make you flustered. And yet.

"If you're not careful, I might start thinking you have a crush on me." A few months ago it would have hurt to hear him say it so casually, but not anymore. Especially not when he looks almost fondly at you.

"Consider me guilty as charged, then." Twirling a lonely noodle around your chopsticks but not picking it up, you nod at the bag. "Should be one more thing in there."

This time he reaches into the bag, retrieving a plain-looking bottle. Turning it over in his hands, he pulls a bit of a face at the label.

"Really, doll?" He's always so quick to resort to humor, and this time is no exception. "If you wanted to rub your grubby little hands all over me, you could've just asked."

"Alright first off, my hands are not grubby," you put the chopsticks down with a laugh, almost a bit offended. "Maybe I just wanted to do something nice. And you're just about the tensest person I know so if anyone needs a massage, I'm pretty sure it's you."

"That your expert opinion, or…?" He raises a very skeptical eyebrow.

"More like amateur opinion, but yeah." You shrug, pushing the mostly empty container to the side. This is something else you've learned to recognize, how he'll pretend to be disinterested and make you push. You haven't figured out exactly why he does it, but it might have to do with plain stubbornness or even to have plausible deniability, somehow. "I'd really like to, if you'd let me. Who knows, you might even enjoy it." Maybe it's a low blow to use his own words against him, but he doesn't comment on it. Idly rolling the bottle between his palms, he sighs.

"I don't know about you, but I'm having another drink."

⁂

There's probably something to be said about how he sometimes hides behind alcohol, and how you wish he wouldn't. It's hard to mind it too much when he's kissing you though, lips almost flushed from the bite of chili pepper and faintly tasting of wine. The way to the bedroom is a meandering, stuttering thing, all hushed sighs and wandering hands. It's hard to say who leads who, and by the time you drop the bag at the foot of the bed your entire body is humming with want. As you go to pull the curtains closed, he all but plasters himself to your back.

"What are you doing?" The words are a bit muffled as he kisses the side of your neck.

"Setting the mood."

"Should I be expecting rose petals in my bed, next?"

"I didn't bring any, so I hope not." Grinning, you turn around, wrapping your arms around his waist. "All of this," you give his t-shirt a tug, "needs to go."

Another thing you've learned to appreciate is how he's nearly always a bit more pliable when he's been drinking. For once there's none of his little power-plays, no teasing. Instead he simply steps back, pulling the soft t-shirt over his head in one sinuous motion.

"Better?"

"A little." Hooking your fingers over the waistband of his jeans you pull him a bit closer again, backing towards the bed and dragging him along. As you sit down, you don't bother trying to hide how much you enjoy the view. "I did say 'all of it', though."

"There's that bossiness again." If it's meant to be some sort of protest it's not a very convincing one, especially not when his voice is turning so soft around the edges. Not when he's looking at you like that.

"You don't seem to mind it much. In fact…" You drop a few kisses across the soft plane of his stomach before grinning up at him, "I think you're starting to like it."

"…It has its moments." He huffs, sliding a hand down and giving the back of your neck a gentle squeeze.

"Good." Reaching for the fly, you fiddle with the button, but not popping it open. "Now, will you please take the rest of your clothes off?"

"In a minute." Plucking at the sleeve of your top, he gives it a little pull. "You keeping yours on? Might get messy…"

Roundabout though it is, he doesn't need to ask twice. Rather than putting on a show you strip quickly, impatient to get on with it before he changes his mind and tries to weasel out of it somehow.

"There." Reclining on the bed, you give him a pointed look. "Now you. And no more stalling."

And he doesn't stall, not exactly. But every move, from the way he pulls off his socks to the way he shimmies out of his jeans, still feels just a hint too slow and almost calculated to frustrate you. He looks very pleased with himself when he eventually stretches out on the bed next to you, and you can't resist playfully poking him in the chest.

"Finally. Was that so hard?"

"Not that hard," he grins, wrapping a hand around your wrist and pulling you closer, "but if you give it a minute…"

"Oh, that's terrib–"

The way he kisses you almost makes up for how he interrupts you. Still, you have a plan and you're going to stick to it, even if the feeling of his cock stirring as he rubs against you is starting to make it difficult to focus on much else.

"You're trying to distract me, aren't you?" Rolling your eyes, you pull back, dropping a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Maybe," he murmurs, resting his forehead against yours with a lazy smile. "Is it working?"

This close you could count every lash if you wanted, trace every line around his eyes. All the shades of blueblueblue there pulling you in and down until your chest grows tight and it feels like you could drown there.

"Not even a little."

"Can't blame me for trying." He doesn't sound very disappointed, though. "So how do you want me?"

"On your front is fine, I think."

"This good?" He's almost obedient with how quickly he flips over onto his stomach, grinning at the way you can't keep from looking. As he rests his head on folded arms, your eyes slide greedily over the line of his shoulders, down the shallow dip of his spine.

"It's perfect." Reaching down for the bag, it doesn't take long to find the bottle and with it in hand, you can't resist crawling up his body, straddling his thighs and caging him in with your arms. Soft, pale curls tickle your nose as you nuzzle the back of his neck, muffling the words against his skin. "You're so beautiful."

"You don't have to keep saying that, you know."

"I know, it's just hard not to." You grin, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades. "Want me to stop?"

"…No." He shrugs, or something close to it. "Just didn't have you pegged as the romantic type."

"I'm not, really." You hum, kissing your way from one shoulder to the other. "Maybe I'm just so damn in love with you that it makes me want to be, a little."

For a second you can feel him start to tense up, but then he sighs.

"And here I thought you were a smart woman." Despite the teasing words, his voice is so fond, and for a moment it's almost enough to soothe the sting of him not saying it back. It makes you wish that you could take every single ounce of i love you and physically push into him, douse him in it until he'd shine under your hands, as if it could make him understand. As if it could make him say the words, even just the once. But you can't, so you do the next best thing.

"Guess I'm not really that, either." With that you sit up, popping the cap on the bottle. As you pour oil into your palm, you hope that enthusiasm counts for something, because at this point it's pretty much all you've got. Starting slow you gently smooth the oil over his back and shoulders, no real pressure yet, just enjoying the way he feels under your hands. "Since this is kind of new for me, I hope you won't judge me too harshly."

"Me, too."

Rather than ask what he means, you try to focus on the task at hand. Even though you're just making things up as you go, there is still the urge to somehow do well, to do it correctly, to be good. Feeling the way he's slowly relaxing underneath you feeds into that so perfectly that it makes you feel almost warm. But then he usually has that kind of effect on you, especially lately.

Following the line of his shoulder up, you only half notice the way his eyelids flutter shut as you gently press the pads of your thumbs up the back of his neck. When you do it again he lets out a long slow breath, and while it's not much to go on it's enough to give you a starting point, at least.

Aside from the occasional sigh he's almost completely silent, and it ends up feeling like a gift to you as well, getting to just…touch him, like this. Not that you mind the usual chattiness, but this is nice, too. Different. As you knead his shoulders you can feel the tension draining from him little by little, and even though you're far from an expert, you can tell that there's a few stiff spots. Trying to think about where you get sore, you gently press your fingers in around the edges of his shoulder blades, careful not to hit the bone. As you press from bottom and rub upwards, he actually groans quietly.

"Is that a good noise or bad noise?" Being pretty familiar with the sounds he makes you're pretty sure which one it is.

"S'good," he sighs, voice muffled against the sheets.

"Is it, really?" You can't keep a huff of laughter from escaping as you do it again.

"Mm. You can keep…doing that, if you want."

"Oh, can I? That's generous of you." You do spend a few minutes more like that though, until you can feel him all but melt into the bed. Massaging the rest of his back is a lot less eventful, though he shivers very prettily as you kiss every notch of his spine on the way down.

Lacking any other excuse, you tell yourself that it's all in the spirit of being thorough as you tip some more oil out before moving on. You half expect some sort of clever comment from him as you start to rub your palms over the soft swell of his ass. When none comes, you give his right cheek a playful slap just because you can, though the way it makes him tense up almost makes you feel a bit bad.

"Sorry, couldn't resist." Grinning, you bend down and drop an apologetic kiss to the same spot that you struck. "You're not falling asleep, I hope."

"No," he snorts, cracking an eye at you. "So, is there a happy ending somewhere in my near future, or…"

"There might be." Putting a bit more force into it you push the heels of your hands into him, kneading at him for a while longer. Thinking about it you can't quite resist pulling the pliant flesh apart and dipping a finger down to gently touch him there. "You want one?"

"Maybe not like that, but…" He sighs again, burying his face in the sheets, "I'll think about it."

"Whatever you want, just tell me." Bending down, you press a kiss to the other cheek as well, just to even things out. Much as you'd like to linger there, you move on for now. You're starting to suspect you've been a bit too generous with the oil because everything is very slippery, but as you rub down the back and sides of his thighs, it's definitely not a bad thing. He doesn't seem to think so either, relaxing until he feels almost like putty in your hands. Working your way down and squeezing over the lean muscle of his calf you try to think about what to do next, and as you reach the ankle, you run a finger over the sole of his foot, mostly to see what he'll do. That gets you a discontented little noise as he twitches away, toes curling, and you can't keep from giggling. "Don't tell me you're ticklish."

"'m not."

"If you say so." Reaching up, you give his side a gentle nudge. "Turn over for me, sweetheart."

It feels a bit silly, outright stealing what you've come to think of as his word, but you can't think of another term that fits. And right now he really does look almost sweet as he stretches, long and shivery, before flopping over on his back with a contented noise.

"This isn't so bad." While the way he says it sounds almost grudging, with the lazy smile and dozy, half lidded eyes it might as well be a glowing review.

"I kind of suspected you'd come around to it."

"Did you, now?"

"Mm-hm." Grabbing the bottle you move back up, swinging a leg over to straddle his hips. "Give me your hand?"

And that's pleasant too, in its own way, rubbing the oil into his palms and back of his hands, all the way out to the fingertips and the neat, clipped nails before making your way back down to his forearm. He keeps shifting underneath you as you work, which makes it kind of hard to concentrate. Not that it was that easy before, but feeling his cock stir and swell as he rubs against you makes it so much worse.

"You're being very unhelpful right now."

"Yeah?" He doesn't look or sound sorry at all as he grabs your hips, pushing up against you and sliding his stiffening cock through your folds. "You mind?"

"I'm not done!" Laughing, you dig your fingers into his biceps, trying to pull up and away. "How do you expect me to work under these conditions?"

"Fine." Rolling his eyes, he lets you go, albeit reluctantly. He's almost well behaved after that, relaxing into your touch as you knead his upper arms and shoulders. Before moving down over his chest you add some more oil.

"Sorry about your sheets, by the way."

"Don't really care." The words vibrate against your palms as they glide across his chest.

"You sure?" Carefully watching his face, you rub the pad of a finger over one of his nipples. Giving it a small pinch has him letting out a small huff of breath.

"Gentle, doll." Softening your touch, you roll it between your fingertips, enjoying the way it makes his brows lightly knit together, voice going a bit breathier. "That happy ending still on offer, or…?"

Having him underneath you like this, vulnerable and so openly wanting is almost dizzying, filling your chest with warmth until it feels like you could burst from it.

"Obviously." Bending down, you trail soft kisses across his chest, not caring about the oil getting smeared all over you. There's going to be a thorough shower after this, anyhow. "Anything you want." Even though the words are hushed and close to his skin, they still have his breath speeding up, hand coming up to grip the back of your neck. "You want my hands?" Wrapping your lips around his other nipple, the way he shivers as you give it a few soft sucks is nothing short of delicious. The noise he makes at the gentle drag of teeth over the little nub makes it really hard to stop and let it go but you do anyway, laving your tongue over it. "My mouth?"

"Just…" His grip on you tightens and he makes a low frustrated noise, pulling on you until you move back up.

There's a hunger to the way he crashes his lips to yours, giving you a whole new appreciation for the clichéd expression 'stealing every ounce of air right out of your lungs'. Every move has his stiff cock rubbing against you, and for a few aching seconds you completely forget that this isn't supposed to be about you. He's panting a bit when you pull back, gently pushing down on his shoulders.

"Let me take care of you." Angling your hips just so, you rub against him a bit more firmly, purposefully. "Please? I want to."

There's something almost funny about how he manages to make you beg without needing to even do anything, but that doesn't make it any less effective.

"Go on, then," he groans, tilting his hips up to meet yours, "touch me."

And just like that you're thrown back in time, to your first night with him all over again. You'd been so full of nerves back then and almost sick with want, agonizing over how ill-advised the whole thing was. Although the wanting hasn't wavered, there's no nerves or agonizing this time as you slide down his body.

"You're almost too pretty like this." And he is, messy and glossy, eyes dark as his knees part with hardly any resistance at all to let you settle in between them. Giving his thighs a few kneads, you make yourself comfortable before popping the cap on the bottle again. Pouring out another generous helping, you can see that there's no real danger of running out just yet, but you've definitely done some decent damage to it tonight.

There's an odd sense of intimacy about giving someone a hand-job, and the way his breath hitches as you wrap a hand around him makes you wish that he'd let you do it more often. Even though you keep the touch soft he still throbs against your palm as you spread the oil around, a fat drop of pre-come gathering at the flushed tip. It takes a conscious effort not to rush, and as you wrap a hand around his shaft and give him a gentle squeeze, the sound he makes is so frustrated and almost needy that it makes you ache in sympathy.

"You plan to keep teasing me long?" He might have been trying to sound casual about it, but the rough edge to his voice and the way his chest unsteadily rises and falls kind of ruins that.

"Not that long." As you softly rub the palm of your hand over his tip he tenses up, a breathless little moan falling from his mouth. "Just a little while." For now you just try to treat it as another step in the massage, lazily stroking his cock, enjoying how it gets more slippery by the minute as drops of pre-come leak out and mingle with the oil. As you cradle his balls in your free hand and roll them in your palm, you can't resist gently pressing at the space behind them. Moving a bit lower and ghosting a slippery fingertip over his entrance has his knees drift a little further apart, hips angling up towards you a bit more. "Can I?"

When he doesn't respond you push just a bit more, not quite dipping inside, not yet. It's a stubborn kind of silence rather than an unwilling one, eyes sliding shut and hands restlessly fidgeting in the sheets. As you spread a bit more oil over him there, his knees drop another fraction of an inch further apart. As he twitches against your fingertips and you start pushing inside, he swears under his breath, head thudding back against the pillow.

"You'll have to tell me, sweetheart." And the words shouldn't come out sounding like that, quiet and almost desperate, but you're painfully aware that tonight, you both had the same thing for dinner. That there's no influence here, just the way he swells in your hand as you work a second digit into him. Some things are still the same though, like the faint echo of his heartbeat thrumming against your fingers, and how the way he tightens around them as you stroke almost has you quietly moaning.

It's slower this time, both by necessity and because you don't want it to end too soon. Thinking back to last time, you try to recall exactly what you did, quickly pushing away the thought of the morning after. The angle itself is easy enough, but had you been thrusting, rubbing, or something else?

Laid out in front of you like this, legs spread and chest heaving, he looks like the prettiest puzzle in the world as you set out to see what will work when there's nobody in the passengers seat. He doesn't give you any directions, not really, but the noise he makes when you get it right makes it feel completely worth it. From there the silence slowly unravels until he's moaning too, hands reflexively tightening in the sheets.

"Won't you look at me?" He's so damn stubborn and too proud by half and you shouldn't have to beg, but at least it works, even if it's just for seconds at a time. "Looks like I finally found a way to shut you up." It's a bad attempt at humor but you're not sure what else to say. He's clearly still enjoying it but you're not used to him being this quiet, and you can't honestly say that you enjoy it as much as you thought you would. "Should I stop?" You slow down until you're barely moving, rubbing the pad of a finger against the sensitive underside of his tip in feather-light little strokes.

"Don't, pl—" He takes a few unsteady breaths, tongue darting out to wet his lips, "don't stop."

"No?" Wrapping a hand around him properly again you touch him a bit more firmly, enjoying the way it makes his abdomen tense up and twitch as you add a little twist at the end of each stroke. "Tell me what you want, then. Talk to me."

"Need to fucking come, want you to," he takes a few more breaths, quick and wavering, "to fucking make me, all over you."

Even if it wasn't intended that way, the emphasis on 'make' almost has you light-headed.

"In a minute." You slow back down again, soaking up every frustrated noise that falls from his pretty mouth, drinking them in like nectar. It feels almost mean, but on the other hand it's not like you haven't earned the right to bully him, even if it's just a little. Rubbing the pad of your thumb in slick little circles over the swollen head, you can't resist teasing him some more. "Let me hear that lovely voice say 'please', first."

"Oh, you fucking bitch, you—" There's no real heat behind the words and you can't even find it in you to be offended when he's like this, panting and desperate as he uselessly ruts against your hand. "Alright, please, just… please."

"See, that wasn't so hard." And despite the whole thing feeling a bit underhanded, you can't deny that it's satisfying. "You getting close?" You can tell but you still want to hear him say it, to keep him talking.

"Yeah, just—" Chest hitching with shaky little breaths as he inches closer to the point of no return, he really is too pretty. He's almost trembling with it, knuckles going noticeably paler even through the fake tan as he crumples the sheets in his grip.

"Will you do just one more thing for me?" And you know that you're pushing it, but the way he's leaking all over your hand is definitely going to your head, and the noise he makes as you press into him a little firmer, move just a little faster, definitely isn't helping either. "Something real easy?"

The only response you get is a shaky nod, but it'll do. There's a twitch in his jaw as he chases it, eyes fluttering shut again.

"I want you to say 'thank you' when you come for me." You can feel him throb and swell against your palm, and the noise he makes as you squeeze around the base is something almost like a whimper. "Can you do that for me, be nice and polite?"

"Fuck you." Despite the way he tries to almost spit the words at you it's really more of a drawn out moan, and it's hard to take it very seriously when he's almost arching off the bed.

"No?" Seeing him reduced to this breathless, messy wanting feels almost like a gift somehow, and you can definitely see why he's so fond of doing it to you every chance he gets. It's addictive. Still, you can't help feeling a little mean as you let go of his cock, going completely still inside of him.

"No, don't fucking—" There's that reedy edge to his voice, the one you could almost get drunk off, and for a few moments you worry that you might have gone a little too far, that he's going to push you away. It's not like it'd even be difficult for him to do. "Fine, I'll fucking do it," he looks almost pained as the words come in fits and starts, sounding as if he could choke on them, "just, no more stopping."

"That's good. You're so good to me, do you know that?" Taking pity on him, you don't wait for a response before wrapping your fingers around him again. Rather than picking up where you left off you start over, the light touches drawing the prettiest, wavering little moans from him. "Tell me what you need, I promise I won't stop."

"Bit faster…" Still keeping the grip light you speed up, making sure to run your fingers across the sensitive underside on every stroke. "Fuck, I'm close," there's an urgency to the words as he swallows around them, legs tensing up as he braces for it, "please, have to let me fucking come on you."

Even like this, trapped between your hand and your fingers and just on the brink of falling apart he's still making demands, trying to claw back control in whatever small way he can. Scooting in closer and bending down just a little more is a bit of a balancing act and though he still feels a bit far away, under the circumstances it's the best you can do. It's still close enough though, his tip brushing against your breasts as he thrusts up against your hand, hips twitching off the bed almost on their own.

Pushing into him a little more firmly you can feel it there too when he drops off the edge, spasming around your fingers with a drawn out moan as his cock swells and pulses in your hand.

"Fuck yes, thank you…" His eyes are almost glazed over and so fixed on the way he spills over your chest and neck in messy spurts, that you're not sure if he realizes that he's very nearly babbling. "Fucking love you, thank you, oh, fuck…"

Watching him like this, desperately sucking down air he doesn't really need and so awash with pleasure that he's all but lost to it, you don't think that you could love him any more than this even if you tried. Keeping your touch gentle you do your best to draw it out, keeping him there until every drop is spent and you all but drip with it as he sinks into the sheets, trembling through the aftershocks. You end up having to retract your earlier thought, because this, him boneless and sated and dozy and knowing that you did that, is even better. Since the bedding is once again a lost cause, you quickly wipe your hands on it before laying down, snuggling in as close as possible even though it makes him scrunch his nose at you.

"You really have to get it all over me?" Despite the grumbling he still reaches for you, pulling you closer.

"Should have put it somewhere else, then. Besides, I'll be stealing your shower in a bit, anyway." Pressing a kiss to his shoulder, you sigh. "You could always join me, if you want."

"Pretty sure I don't need an invitation in my own home, doll." He murmurs, absentmindedly weaving your fingers together. "Want me to take care of you, first?"

"After." Squeezing your legs together, you savor the sweet ache between them.

⁂

As much as you dislike this house, you have to admit that the bathroom almost makes up for it, even if the size and the gleaming black and white tile make you feel out of place. As tempting as the spacious shower with its ridiculous water pressure is, your eyes are instantly drawn to the huge bathtub. Even though you don't say anything he still picks up on it, so the look of longing must have been more obvious than you thought.

"You can if you want to, you know."

It'd feel like imposing, even if the thought is silly. Biting your lip, you consider it.

"Looks to me like there's room for two in there." It's probably a bit of an understatement, but it gets the point across, you hope.

"I'm really more of a shower guy," he stretches with a pleased groan, completely unselfconscious in all his nakedness. "You knock yourself out, though."

Something so small and insignificant shouldn't be disappointing, but it somehow is, at least a little bit. Not enough to keep you from turning the tap though, quickly starting to fill the tub with water so hot it's only just this side of steaming. Rather than getting in the shower right away he hovers, and you're not sure why.

"Let me know if you change your mind." Not that you'd expect him to, but it's at worth a shot. Instead of waiting for the tub to be full you get in right away to give yourself a quick rinse, shivering as the warmth seeps into your bones. It's almost makes you feel alive in a way that the shower at home never quite manages, no matter how high you turn up the heat. As you get comfortable and let your eyes slide shut, you hear the rattle of the shower door sliding open and then closing again a few seconds later.

"Alright, move." Even though the tone is slightly annoyed, the way he leans down to squeeze your shoulder is anything but.

"What happened to being a shower guy?"

"So now you don't want company? Fine, don't let me bother—"

"Oh no, you don't." Reaching up, you grab his wrist before he can move away, spreading your legs. "Come here."

There's a moment of hesitation, but all it takes is a soft pull of encouragement for him to step into the water. Slotting himself between your thighs he stretches out, sinking down and taking up more than his fair share of tub, which honestly shouldn't surprise you.

"Happy now?" With a put upon sigh that you don't buy for even one second, he leans his head back to rest against your shoulder.

"What do you think?" Reaching down, you rest your hands against his chest, rubbing soothing little circles over his still slick skin.

"I think you've got your work cut out for you, because I am greasy as hell right now." The casual way he says it does nothing to stop your heart from doing a slow flip in your chest.

"You are way too fond of putting me to work." Reaching for a washcloth, you pause to press a quick kiss to his temple. "And just for reference, I am."

Even though he's perfectly capable of cleaning himself, there's something almost peaceful about doing it for him. You definitely could've used less oil than you did though, but if that means getting to spend a few minutes more like this, you don't mind. He doesn't really seem to either, leaning into your touch with a pleased hum as you scrub at almost every inch you can reach. As the suds glide over his skin, you just know that he would so readily be turning a pretty shade pink right now if he was properly alive. It's almost painfully domestic, but right now, you wouldn't have it any other way. While you'd happily stay like this for the rest of the night, there is only so much scrubbing to be done, and the water cools down a lot faster than you'd like.

Getting out of the bath is no more pleasant than it would have been before the turn, the air feeling much too chilly despite being a perfectly normal temperature. As you reach for a towel, the arms wrapping themselves around you from behind catches you off guard.

"This is kind of weird." Running a hand over his forearm, you lean back against him, "I'm not used to you being this warm."

"You don't like it?"

"Just feels a bit strange." Pulling away you make a new grab for the towel, successfully this time. Drying off proves to be a bit harder than it should be on account of him refusing to behave, and in the end you simply give up, letting him pull you back to bed.

The sheets stick to your damp skin as he pushes you down, covering your body with his. Even now he still feels faintly warm all over, or almost. His mouth is the same temperature as always, tongue feeling almost chilly as he messily kisses his way down over your still heated skin, settling between your legs.

"What are you doing?" Sliding your fingers through the soft curls at the back of his neck, you give them a gentle tug. The way he leans into it with a slow smile has your stomach twisting with want all over again.

"Didn't notice any cake earlier, so…" The way he wraps his arms around your thighs and pries them apart wider is slow and entirely purposeful, making it blatantly obvious what he's doing, as if you didn't already know. He looks very pleased with himself as he continues, cool breath puffing against your heated skin, "I'm pretty sure that makes you dessert."

⁂

If you liked this spicy snack even a little, please consider supporting your local smut-slinger and hitting the reblog button on the way out, perhaps even drop a comment if you're feeling generous, it really helps with the motivation side of things a lot!

The Master-masterlist

Fandom Masterlist

[bonesandthebees]

ive been both really busy and also not? hahah but ive been good!! i've been mostly working. today was crazy actually, someone walked into the vet with a bearded lizard?? that they found ?? at the local park?? someone had just abandoned their lizard there ig which was really sad but im glad someone found it and was able to help it!! also the person who found it was a vet tech themselves who used to have bearded lizards so that's good hahahah they were v prepared

our doctor unfortunately doesn't take any exotics so we had to send them to a diff vet but it was cool to see the lizard, he was very sweet and friendly EUEUUEUE

but yeah other than work? mostly just been writing which has been super nice. this is the first year im properly tackling whumptober!! normally i just. pick and choose my fav prompts LMAOO but this year im actually writing for each prompt every day and i've done all 7 days so far!! im super proud of myself rahshshs

i went to my first social dance a couple weekends ago!! that was super funn

i cannot remember if i told you, but i started doing west coast swing lessons!!! since i took a gap year of school while waiting to apply for the vet tech program, i was like "welp i need some sort of hobby that gets me out of the house" so i didnt stew in bad mental health n stuff and i decided to try dance! i'd seen vids of it on my youtube shorts a lot and it always looked so... freeing. and i thought doing something that involved physical activity would be a good idea too since exercise is good for mental health!!

and woww i love it way more than i was expecting HAHHAHASDKFJJK it's so so fun and it really does feel like flying (when you do it with an experienced lead lol, so not always but the times where it's happened i cherish v much <3) and the people?? are all so nice???? like wow i was a bit nervous when i first started but everyone is so welcoming and understanding and super fun to talk to and it's a very accepting environment of queer ppl and i just RAHSHS ITS SOOO LOVELY BEE OH MY GOSHH

but yeah!! so ive been doing that sinceee march but i had yet to go to an actual dance, i'd only done lessons bc i was really nervous lol but also bc its on the weekends and thats when i go visit my mom so its hard to find time. but i finally decided to go no matter what last time (which yeah. almost canceled bc i ended up having two other meetups that day?? it was busy) and im really glad i went it was super fun.

just hoping i can convince one of my friends to go with me one day lol

oh no I'm so sad that someone abandoned their beardie :((( thank god someone found it though and wanted to make sure it was okay. so many people would just leave it so that little guy got lucky with that at least. I love bearded dragons, one of my teachers in high school had one she named Mushu and she would let him just run around the room during class sometimes. he was adorable.

ooooo I hope you're having fun with whumptober!!! you're stronger than me I've never attempted to do all the prompts for something like that. I struggle so much already with keeping things short and I also don't do great with prompts but I admire everyone who can dedicate themselves to that. it's such good writing practice as well

oh that class sounds lovely. tbh it really shows you have a LOT of self awareness to recognize that not only do you need something to get you out of the house, but taking the steps to sign up for a class with physical activity for your mental health. that's really great and you're going to thank yourself later for putting yourself out there like that. and that sounds so much fun!!! manifesting you get one of your friends to join you one day

(also this reminds me I really need to get back in the habit of going to my yoga and other exercise classes. I fell out of it after I got back from my europe trip this summer so I need to get my ass in gear again)

[oraclekleo]

Update:

So I have been up to some things during the weekend, was pretty busy.

My sister came for a visit and because she went by car, she brought me a water melon! Yummy! It's 18 kg, though. I still have a second half of it here with me. It's so much of a water melon! 😂 They didn't have smaller in the store. So I guess I'm just gonna eat nothing else but a melon today (just as I did yesterday and day before... too much of a water melon).

My sister also volunteered to be my test dummy for me to learn how to hypnotise people. It went well from the beginning. I managed to calibrate my voice to a calming monotonous tone, I was slowly guiding her towards calm and relaxation of her body... Then I wanted to guide her to the deepest level of calm and relaxation and the usual way how to do it is to tell the person you are hypnotising to imagine themselves at the top of stairs and with each step down they take, they become more and more relaxed and calm, right? So I did just that and...

MY DUMBASS SISTER TRIPPED ON THE VERY FIRST STEP OF THE IMAGINARY STAIRS AND ROLLED DOWN!

No joke! I told her to take a first step and she suddenly twitched and started laughing telling me she tripped on the stairs! How wrecked does your brain have to be that it makes you trip on imaginary stairs? 😂 So there was no way we could continue. We will try again next time but I'll probably use different metaphor than the stairs. 😂

Apart from making my sister roll down imaginary stairs, I was sorting clothes this weekend. It's becoming hotter so I need to unpack the summer clothes. I also still have so much of mom's clothes here. She passed away nearly a year ago and it's time for me to just put it all away but it's pretty hard to do. I'm gonna be donating a great deal of of it all to charity. But it's not a finished process, there's still a lot of work to be done.

I have also set up a little private tarot corner for myself.

It's cute and in a place where my home office screens and laptop used to be.

I also had a weird dream... I described it to my friend so let me just copy/paste the messages so I don't have to type it all down again:

Although… I did have a dream last night… No dogs involved 😂 Which is already weird, right? But it was like… I had a guy friend… I don't remember his face clearly… I only know he had like black longer and slightly wavy hair. Probably a latino type? I'm not sure. Anyway! I was on video call with him and while the dogs weren't present in the dream, he said he liked the last vid I shared where I cuddled Dachi in the morning in bed (why would I record it and also share with anyone, I don't know) and that he's envious of it. And because it's something I hear all the time that people are envious about my dogs' life, I was just joking about it. But he seemed to be a bit fixated on the topic and started to asking what he would have to do to be also cuddled like that by me. And clearly we had a video call because he was far away so I brought up the geographical distance. And he suggested he could visit me and kept asking whether I would give him a cuddle and head scratch (thanks for putting this into my dreams, btw.) if he came for a visit. So I wanted to turn it into a joke and told him only if he wears a collar. I'm starting to feel like I'm dodging a bullet in the dream but that guy says he's booking a flight right now. And then I woke up because dogs smelled a fox a or cat outside through the open windows or something and growled and barked… Anyway, in like 2 minutes I fell back asleep And I was back in that dream only… like… later on. And I was living in my own house, not in an apartment. In a house with a garden. And interestingly enough with one of my former co-workers as my roommate (female co-worker). But the house still had like guest bedroom and this latino vibe giving guy for a visit and was in that guest room, apparently. And in that dream… It's a bit confusing for a little. I think he sent me a text message that he's waiting in bed for the morning cuddles and also sent a me selfie with him wearing a collar. I still have no idea what his face looked like but the collar was purple… like bright purple colour. I did went to see him in the bedroom. He did have a pretty torso and neck, yes 🤣 And I remember like combing his hair with my fingers and his hair was like really nice, too. That was good. I don't know what products he used but worked great 😂 I should have asked… Yeah… This guy was like purring and burying his face into my neck as I was scratching his head. That was a bit… too touchy for my usual taste but clearly I didn't mind in the dream too much. I mean, I also usually don't have this type of dreams. Must be all the audios I listen to recently 😂 They start rewiring my brain to be more open towards physical intimacy 

So yeah... That's what I have been up to this weekend.

How did you do?

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

Finally uploaded the Uluru Games patch part 1. Technically I uploaded it a couple of hours ago, but then it hit me I wanted to go overboard with the thumbnail again, so I chose to upload the video cause I was already 5-10 minutes late and add the thumbnail whenever I was done.

It is a bit laggy this time, I don't know why, but I came up with an idea to maybe cover that for part 2 so there is still hope for this series of vids to not get completely ignored cause the game suddenly felt like not working like it usually does.

I wanted to go with a more comedic thumbnail of me yelling at Spathodea to stop the fire while wearing oven mitts and heat resistant glasses with Desert, Medicine and perhaps Vertin, if I found a good picture, hiding behind me, but oddly enough, oven mitts is the hardest stock picture to find apparently. I found thousands of pictures with kitchen gloves but nb had oven mitts so I chose to find a shield instead to maintain the absurdity of my idea, even if it doesn't look as fun as actually having mitts on and trying to grab Ulu. *nods*

[melestiasworld]

enneagram > MBTI ?? (am I really saying that !?)

I was researching my enneagram type lately and I have a lot to unwrap

Amidst my attempt to organize the endless tabs on my phone, I stumbled upon an old Enneagram test result. It was surprisingly spot-on, articulating behaviors I've long recognized but struggled to articulate.

I'm a 9w1, and I've been watching Dr. Tom LaHue's videos about my type.

He was saying that 9s can, if not careful, mistake the taste, goal of other's for their own- something I know I tended to do a lot when I was younger Back then, I craved uniqueness so intensely I wanted to dress up differently, listen to different music -being like everyone else was disgusting to me. Looking back, I might have resembled a type 4 during that phase

but I'm glad I had this phase, it helped me cultivate my confidence and identity

I've also noticed a pattern where I struggle to voice my opinions naturally. It's something I've had to learn the hard way.

it takes effort for me to really put myself in thinking mode to connect with my true self and figure out what I truly desire Yet, when a topic strikes a chord, I don't hesitate to speak up. Tom was also saying how my default response to a question or a request is always “yes” when it should actually be “no”, so that I accept only what I truly desire

“you can find your real “yes” only by saying “no””

I mean, I already knew that of me, and what really helps me is seeing other people being assertive in their opinions

I love people-watching and seeing people stand their ground inspires me

I've recognized that I sometimes fear expressing my voice because I don't want to burden others. I'm capable of understanding multiple perspectives, making every option seem acceptable—but what do I truly want?

Combining assertiveness with kindness has been a struggle. I've been aware of this aspect of myself for some time, and I'm committed to improving.

We all have patterns that emerge when we're not in a healthy place. and the enneagram helps you see more clearly on this. In the vid, mr tom was going through the levels of health of 9s going from the worst to the best, I've stopped to the first because it resonated too much with me : My brain will do anything to keep me away from feeling any type of negative emotion, this actually has been really detrimental at one point in my life

I will get lost in my priorities and the things I need to get done so I’m doing fucking useless tasks like cleaning my shoes, cutting my bangs, or sorting the tabs on my phone when I have more pressing matters

I became aware of this problem a while ago when speaking to a therapist, did I buy a book to help me regulate my emotions? yes

did I read it? no

when will i read it ? who knows

dr. really putted the finger where it hurts, i think i really got to work on that

that was also said in some of the videos, 9w1’s are scared to be a burden or to be a burden because our biggest inner fear is being rejected by the ones we love

deep down I know that it is very true -nothing can keep people from leaving me

but what’s interesting would be to discover why do I harbor this fear of abandonment? Why do I crave safety so desperately? nobody really abandoned me, nor left me, I never had problems making friends, so where does it come from? I’m going to look into that during the several hours of reflections I have during my nightly reflections

I thought I had myself all figured out, that I’ve spent too much time pondering my identity, my values, and desires Yet life just keeps impressing me and putting me in situations where I have to work on myself again and evolve

its like rediscovering myself, or building a new version of me

I do not want to die knowing I haven’t achieved the final version of me; I want to reach my full potential

but I'm so thrown between the melissa who strives for greatness and has all of those crazy goals and the melissa who wants to rot in bed and do absolutely nothing - a topic for another rant

[viscountessevie]

queen charlotte’s first meeting scene is as rip off from magnificent century kösem. i hope this will become bigger news when show starts

https://twitter.com/aofaglover/status/1573758456737124352?s=46&t=Cj8-wxU3Iw5Sa0s-i59iAw

Just wanna put this disclaimer out before anyone starts reading under the cut: Despite this ask & post and my own feelings about the show, it has been really heartwarming to see BIPOC fans delight in this show and my fandom friends gushing to me about this :D That is something no one can take away from them and I'm very glad they enjoyed it!

[This is also my first and last post on QC so my overall thoughts on the show and everything surrounding it will be there at the end!]

Hello again yall!! I actually started writing this a month ago when I was in Bali with my fam but could never find a good pic comparing George and Julian lmaooo so I gave up on it for a while. Also I've been hella busy at work but I'm back for a bit!

Heya anon! I'm not sure if I blogged about it but the moment the first teaser of their meet cute dropped, every one who has seen Turkish drama kicked up a fuss on Twitter. As they should!!

This is the original clip in question:

Alot of people did talk about it at the time - especially on Twitter and Reddit and I know a few of my mutuals on here talked about it briefly.

The ripping off was not a great start to the QC promo on top of "Love cures racism". All my friends have given their input on the "realistic" aspect of the show, I agree with their points and don't have much to add on tbh so I'll link the posts here:

Tbh yall can just go through Triv’s QC tag

Honorable Post Mentions: 

On top of this rip off meet cute; I picked this ask cos ever since the first few promo stills dropped my friends and I - particularly Zaira, Triv and Belle - noticed another rip off from our childhoods.

Can yall guess what it is?

Yall he's SO Julian coded please - I love him (this is me saying before the show aired and I won't be watching but the vibes are thereee)

Then the video of QC and LD came out recently (a month ago when I wrote this reply hahah):

Down to the dresses, it's giving:

Shoutout to @hptriviachamp for pointing it out lmao

Sidebar: while I'm not interested in QC's premise, I do love how well India and Arsema are playing their chars (from what I've seen so far) and I WOULD LOVE to see a version of Barbie's Princess and Pauper with these two!! Speaking of them, look at their chemistry in this pic!!

Also me seeing the end of the vid:

All in all to say the Kosem copying was bad and it should be called out but the Barbie references are all in good fun!

Since this is the main ask I've gotten about the show, I'm also going to put my main thoughts here and I don't think I'll be answering any follow up asks because every take has kind of been said and done. I really don't have much to add on since I'm not ever going to watch the show either.

Outside of the show, I adoree that India and Arsema are getting their flowers and the couple is being promoted how they should be! It's all well deserved. A small part of me does feel sad because if this is the PR team going all out, where was all this fanfare for S2, Jimone and Kathony?

However, based on what I've been told:

- I'm glad the chemistry between QC and George was good and everyone enjoyed their romance

- Who on the team hates LD?? Because COME ON martial rape AND giving her a not-hot older man IN VIOLET'S DAD OF ALL PEOPLE?? They did her so dirty. Idc if Lord Ledger gave her the first orgasm of her life, I see that man and no thank you. My girl deserved someone as hot as Adolphus!

- These two things is a HUGE reason why I can't watch the show cos of my triggers: I hate hate how gratuitous they were with the torture porn - both with LD's scenes with her husband (FOURRRR MARTIAL RAPE SCENES THAT'S LAUGHED OFF AS A GAG???) and George getting waterboarded for his mental illness. As someone who experienced SA and has a mental illness, these are very sore subjects for me so no thank you QC, but I will not be tuning in.

Anyway to close this out, congrats to the cast for doing a great job and whoever enjoyed the show, I'm glad you did! Those who read this and agree with me, just know you aren't alone in your critiques of the show. As long as you're being respectful and mindful of the language used, your criticism and enjoyment of the show are both valid!

[projectxa3]

Rebloged it once with a note, but I saw the tags and they deserve to stay. And really, it is nice. I've been away from the site a while, just coming back the last few weeks. And it truly is very nice to see you again, especially since it's your art, specifically yours, that was I believe one of the things that brought me here. From your Stamp On The Ground vid on Newgrounds to the comics and works on Deviantart where I already had an account, to also seeing you had a tumblr, oh maybe I should check that out too, fifteen years ago, it... it really is good to see you again. Even in rough times.

Thanks, Zarla.

#ladyverse#hunter#smoker#jockey#charger#z art#z comic#haven't done an in-depth comic like this in a while and it's exhausting#good outlet for rage though#really they'd all be soaked in blood especially jockey but i held back a little#where does jockey keep getting clean shirts... where do they do their laundry...#smoker the most clean since she mostly hangs in the back sniping#there are probably some mistakes but it's really late and i'm tired i spent too long on this#go to bed zar#respectawoman

It's the ladyversary again and it has now been 15 years since they started running around! I can't believe it's been that long, time is an illusion. I haven't drawn them actually fighting zombies in ages, now that I think about it. Inspired by current events as you could probably guess.

Gave Hunter and Smoker their L4D2 outfits for fun, I almost never draw them in them. Zombies stole her shoes!!

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