melestiasworld

[melestiasworld]

im so far away from the version of myself i aspire to be

[melestiasworld]

the cortisol levels are so high i'm waking up with random bruises on my body

[melestiasworld]

Me drinking tea with myself <3

[melestiasworld]

Just started a big girl job :)

[melestiasworld]

I LOVE SEPTEMBER SO MUCH

[melestiasworld]

« Approach everything in life with the confidence of the average white man »

[melestiasworld]

September is here. Meaning that you should to start fresh. So change those bed sheets. Switch out that old toothbrush. Get your hoodies and sweaters out. Prepare for a better you. With new goals. And a healthier mindset. I know it’s been hard lately, but use this opportunity to start fresh.

[melestiasworld]

thinking that much is both a blessing and a curse

[melestiasworld]

Guess all I needed was just a new pair of shoes 🎀

[melestiasworld]

Someone once said to me, 'Do things you like, and you'll find people who fit you.'

Spoiler alert: He was right.

[melestiasworld]

I survived summertime sadness (iykyk).

How did I do it? Writing this for my future self and for the depressed people out there dealing with the same feeling:

Get out every day (soak up that sun girl). I made it a point to get outside so much this summer that I even got a bit of a tan.

Practice a sport regularly (gotta keep those endorphins flowing).

Surround yourself with at least one person to spend time with, if possible (even if it’s just one good friend).

Do something fun or new every day to have something to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be big—just something that brings a little spark of joy.

Set tangible goals (visit certain places, accomplish specific things, read a certain number of books)—a summer bucket list, per se.

Get involved in projects that take up your time. This ties in with the previous goal, but focus on activities that require your attention.

Get off freaking social media. You don’t need to see what everyone else is doing on their vacation. Focus on your own journey—no need for comparing.

Make the most of the time given to you by investing in yourself. This time is unique—don’t let it pass by without making it meaningful for you. Blast on the Lana del Rey song and you're good to go, hang in there <3

Get Finished Flowering by Gabriel von Max, 1870

[melestiasworld]

just had a "i need my dad" moment but couldn't go to him

[melestiasworld]

Glen Martin Taylor, “but i am safe in here.”

[melestiasworld]

are we doomed to act like our parents?

[melestiasworld]

A few days ago, I watched the documentary "The Minimalists" on YouTube, and it was so inspiring that I started decluttering my home. I'm in a place right now where I just want less stuff—less clothing, less skincare, less decoration. I want to get rid of anything that doesn't serve me anymore.

I've realized I have a lot of things I rarely use and clothes I don't wear. I want every piece of clothing I own to be my favorite. I also have many sentimental items, so I plan to put them in a memory box.

What I liked about the documentary is that it emphasizes you don't have to get rid of EVERYTHING. If something still serves a purpose, you should keep it. I feel this way about the memories I've collected; I find joy in looking at them and remembering the past and the people I've loved. Or maybe I just have trouble letting go.

The hardest part for me would be getting rid of clothing. I know I have too much at the moment, and I just want to declutter. I tend to wear the same clothes in rotation, but fashion is a big part of my personality, so I cherish my clothes a lot. Having fewer clothes will also make creating outfits easier because of fewer options. It reminds me of the fashion DS game, "The House of Bling." At the start of the game, you don't have many clothes to build your character with. As you level up and start buying new clothes, by the end of the game, you have so many clothes that dressing up takes forever. You lose track of how much you really have.

Consuming and buying less is also freeing. A while ago, I decided to stop buying clothes from big firms for ethical reasons. When you're in a mall, you just feel this sense of freedom because you have the urge to buy when you're there.

I really like the mentality of "get rid of anything that doesn't serve you anymore." I think it can apply to different aspects of life. I want to keep this mindset with me. Getting rid of things felt good.

Wanderer above the Sea of Fog by Caspar David Friedrich, 1818

[melestiasworld]

I want to become a soldier of God.

This phrase has been stuck in my mind for the last few days.

My mission is to build pure strength. Both physical and mental, exuding the virtues I hold dear.

Look for the flaws you despise in yourself and in others and aim to embody their absolute opposites.

I abhor weakness within myself and will cultivate unwavering strength. I detest dishonesty and will live with steadfast integrity. I loathe laziness and will embrace diligent, purposeful action. I despise distractedness and will practice focused, mindful presence.

I was visiting Le Petit Palais in Paris and I saw the absolute beauty of a statue—Jeanne d'Arc praying to God.

She sits there, illuminated by the light from the room behind and above her, seated royally in the middle of a grand corridor. As I walk slowly towards her, having spotted her from afar, I am captivated by her presence. She is so breathtaking that I wonder why others do not notice her.

I am determined to use the life given to me wisely, drawing inspiration from her strength and devotion.

I commit to fighting against weakness with all the strength I possess. I will harness my potential, living with purpose and dedication, as a true soldier of Allah.

Jeanne d'Arc by Emmanuel Frémiet, 1875

photo by me

[melestiasworld]

having your heart broken the very next day after writing that is a different kind of pain

I know love exists, for I am full of it, In every small act, in every gentle bit.

When I move a dying bee from the street's edge, Ignoring the stares, with no need to hedge.

When I chat with an old lady to brighten their day, Or offer a kind word, come what may.

When I stop to guide snails on their tiny quest, To save them from being squished, I feel blessed.

When I share in a friend's joy, my heart swells, And in their sorrow, my tears tell.

When I cry at goodbyes, even knowing we'll meet, The love in my heart skips a beat.

When flowers' beauty calls for a photograph, Their silent whispers, a gentle craft.

When I notice the little things in everyone around, The way they speak, their actions profound.

When I adopt the habits of those I hold dear, Their essence stays with me, always near.

In every gesture, small and true, Love exists in all I do.

Brent Cotton, First Light

(one of my favorite painters ever, i just feel so connected to his paintings in a way I can't explain)