#this was an assignment for class so its not necessarily my best work lol but still wanted to post these two under the shade of a tree

[inthetemporalzone]

[dingodad]

ok i am hearing a lot of similar responses to my previous posts so i may have jumped the gun in assuming just how much my followers already understand my thinking on the topic LOL. so let me go a bit deeper with this

i am familiar with the idea, as many of you have put forward, that a classpect is applied to a hero based on their personality, rather than something that is assigned at birth and determines their personality. i see obvious holes in this. there is no suggestion, for instance, that if a character grows and changes as a person, their class or aspect would change to fit their new personality. a common response i'm getting to this complaint is that sburb "just knows" who you will grow up to be, and assigns a classpect according to this prediction; but at this point i fail to see the practical difference between "sburb gives you a classpect at birth and you have to grow into that role" and "sburb knows what you will grow up to be and any timeline in which you fail to grow into this role will be deemed a doomed timeline". not only is the distinction purely philosophical, it's purely academic; we do not know, and will never know because we cannot know, whether dave strider was a "knight of time" from the moment of his birth, because homestuck is not concerned with this question of free will and determinism. homestuck is concerned with the fact that free will and determinism are NARRATIVES put forward by NARRATORS.

it is a mistake to think of sburb as impartial. i think it's a mistake to think of any concept as nebulous as ""the game"" as having any kind of sentience, or "knowing" anything at all, but that's another discussion entirely: the point is not that sburb is necessarily malevolent, or necessarily benign, but that is a machine designed for a particular purpose, and that all the mechanisms that make up that machine ultimately serve that purpose. and sburb's ultimate purpose is to tell a story! the idea of a young girl developing as a person to become a powerful seer of light, or realising her potential as an heir of breath, are deeply compelling NARRATIVES, and any label that "the game" assigns to one of its player is going to be in the interest of telling a compelling narrative. whether that narrative is actually "true" to the core of that person's self is inconsequential! and that's why i see sburb's class system and alternia's class system as fundamentally the same system, merely told by different narrators. where sburb uses the circumstances of your birth to generate a captivating RPG-style adventure populated by rogues and mages and witches, alternia is a world seized by a malevolent narrator only interested in telling the story that most efficiently leads to his birth; as such, rather than a "class" being something they grow into as they mature, a troll's "class" decides their place in the brutal hierarchy that runs the alternian machine.

i don't think it takes a particularly long or hard session of thought to realise "sburb knows best" as a justification for classpect realism is gross, and i think the comic is well aware that it's gross, because the relationships of expectation and control between children/characters and their parents/authors are one of homestuck's very frontal and central themes! being assigned a class and an aspect works within the context of a friendly game of sburb where a class and an aspect might help you to play the game. but the moment you start to believe that someone's class and aspect are in any way "truths" outside of that context, it becomes no different to pretending sollux and aradia's personalities and life trajectories are determined by the colour of their internal organs, even outside of the alternian society that enforces classes based on those colours; and most crucially, no different to a baby having a gender assigned to it on the day of its birth because its parents "just know" what the "right" gender for it might be in the future. even if that baby's parents could see into "the future", would it be fair to make that decision? even if the parents could see into every possible future for that baby, would it be their call to decide which futures for that baby are "doomed" and which one is the "right one"? it's all a matter of the narrative being told!

on an individual level, a parent rarely has ulterior motives in gendering their infant child, just as a hero is rarely assigned a class or aspect purely as a form of personal torture; but on the societal level, on the level of universe-spawning video games or galaxy-conquering lords of time, the gender binary is upheld because its perpetuation performs a crucial service to society, just as the caste system is upheld because it keeps the gears of empire oiled, just as the classpect system keeps the universe-spawning process as efficient as possible. that's what i mean when i say they're equivalent

[mwahmichelle]

🎀 goals i have before 2024 🎀

these goals aren’t necessarily things i want to achieve / be able to do by then. just things i want to get into the habit of doing :)

physical goals

1. go to the gym three times a week

im kinda cheating with this one cus i already do this, but i want to be more productive (?) when i go. i also want to set a plan for those three days so i dont do random exercises. (eg arm day: 10 sets of _ exercise, ect.)

2. stretch and use the massagers every evening

my parents recently bought a foot massage machine, a hand massage machine and a neck massage machine. i used them for around two weeks before i stopped lol. i did notice a difference in how much pain and stiffness i was feeling throughout the day, so i want to start using them again, as well as using their back roller and leg bands to help me stretch.

3. walk my sisters dog four to five times a week

walking her dog was so difficult in the summer because of the heat, so hopefully it’ll be easier now that the weather is cooling down :,) its unrealistic to say that ill walk her (the dog)) every night, so ill stick to a minimum of four days :)

study and work goals

1. work every day

sigh. i have a schedule where i work ~30-60 minutes every day, and 8 hours once a week. sounds easy. and it is. i just have problems with discipline, so i’ve been skipping a few days 🤥 that is not good, so i need to focus >:(

2. do homework the day its assigned 🗣️🗣️

in the past, i did all sorts of mental gymnastics to convince myself to do my homework the day before the lesson, but i end up just not doing it 💀 my teachers get pretty worked up about it, as does my mother lol. rightfully so tbh.

3. study ⁉️

i adore studying, so why am i not studying 🤨 makes no sense 🥱 lets get to it, mkay??

self improvement goals

1. self care sunday (morning…)

i have classes every sunday afternoon, but they’re pretty chill, pretty enjoyable :) the main issue with self care sunday, is that most of the time, i dont do enough during the week to deserve them lmfao. its like every day is self care day 🫠

2. explore the city twice a month

i moved to a new city back in february, and still don’t know anyone or anything abt it 😧 i need (!!) to get out more. like, no joke. with my busy schedule, twice a month is the least i can guarantee. its more than i’ve done the past 8 months 🤷🏼‍♀️

3. read and meditate every evening

this one should be easy, but alas. i’ve never been able to meditate, and reading every evening is difficult when u don’t have any books 😺 i shall try my best anyways…

yuh these are my goals ✨

i tried to make them achievable, so no excuses 😠

[asecretvice]

Rereading 'And this your living kiss' and it really makes me want to take Cas's class haha! Which got me wondering whether you might have any recommendations how to ease into reading poetry or learning more about it as someone who has been out of school for a while? I find the way you talk about poetry in that fic incredible and I reference it all the time when speaking about fan fiction in general, because not only do you flesh out these characters so beautifully, you also write original poetry from a character's viewpoint and it's analysis?! It is honestly super inspiring. I'll stop gushing now haha :D

(Also sorry I might have unfollowed/refollowed you a few times earlier since my tumblr was glitching...)

Oh my goodness, thank you so much! This is very kind of you. That you feel inspired means so much to me ^_^ [And no worries about the following stuff. Tumblr is as tumblr does, lol.]

And now I have wonderful news for you--there are several avenues you can take when easing back into poetry! I answered an ask a while back in which someone requested recs, and much of that still holds true: seek out anthologies; look into different countries' most celebrated poets; peruse exemplars from various poetic movements, etc.

But how to get to those things? Let us count the ways!

The Library. I don't know where you live, but hopefully you have access to either a public or university library (many of which allow non-students to get cards as well). Different types of libraries have different aims when it comes to curating a collection, but either way if you head to the 811s and thereabouts (if they use the Dewey Decimal System) you will have a ton of stuff to choose from. Again, go to the anthologies so you can read a wide variety of poetry. Then, mark every time you read a poem that stirs something inside you. Then by the end of it you'll have a ready-made list of poets to explore more in depth. At the same time, you've really widened your horizons. If there's already a poet or two you have in mind, a library will likely carry a collection or even a complete collection of their work. Reading the complete collection of a poet can be just as illuminating an experience as reading a wide-reaching anthology. You see a poet grow before your very eyes, can feel the themes as they evolve in their clever hands, watch as they experiment and find their unique voice. I prefer physical books when possible, but libraries also have one or more ebook subscription services, such as Libby or Hoopla, that you can access as well if that's more convenient for you. And, if you're unfamiliar with libraries you may not have heard of interlibrary loan before--this is when a library will look outside of its own system for a book, so even if none of their branches carry it, they will find someone in the country who does and then bring it to their library for you. The best part about this is that these services should all be free to you. Unfortunately that is not true of every library, but most try their best, because freedom of and access to information is their mission. That makes the library the perfect place to explore things you don't necessarily want to invest your resources in.

Of course, if you do have some resources don't neglect to check out your local bookstore. If you're lucky, you have access to some independent bookstores! I mean, if you've only got access to a big chain go there too, but in my experience unless it's a huge store they only carry what will specifically sell because it's a classic likely to be assigned by local schools, or the odd book that has big prospects. Which is totally fine! But what an independent bookstore can give you is a more personally curated collection. If you're lucky, you can find little gems in addition to what will conventionally sell. Regardless the owners/managers of such a bookstore will have a working relationship with lots of different publishers and their salespeople, and will have a more interesting spread. There are websites, such as libro.fm and bookshop.org, which support independent bookstores for your online book and audiobook shopping needs.

The internet, especially The Poetry Foundation. The organization behind the website also publishes Poetry Magazine. You will find most popular poets on this website, often with an accompanying bio. This will give you a decent overview of whoever you're looking up. Sometimes when you click on a poem it will lead you to the page of a digital upload of the magazine--which is amazing, because then you can keep turning the pages and read everything they published in May of 1952, or whatever. Also when you're on the front page of the website you can read articles and interviews etc about poetry. A small caveat about this, and any other poetry journal or anthology. These poems are chosen by editors and other people who fancy themselves good arbiters of what is the best kind of poetry. Sometimes they're right; sometimes they're wrong; sometimes it's simply a matter of taste. People are inherently subjective, poetry is very subjective, and therefore all sorts of biases can be in play. Another factor to consider is that a lot of poetry from the 20th century on is still under copyright, whether under a trust or the author/author's family. Therefore some of the selections of poems that the site has for someone isn't necessarily what they'd choose, but what they're allowed to host on their site. Another source to really consider is wikipedia. I know, I know, but it's great at two things: a) lists and b) sourcing. Look at lists of your country's poet laureates (even states/provinces and cities can have them too!). Look at winners and nominees for major literary prizes. Pick a poet, scroll down to the bottom, and see what categories the wiki elves have put them in (eg, "Poets in such and such movement") and see who else is a part of it.

People. Don't underestimate the people around you. Friends, family, even coworkers. The most random people might have an opinion--or a wealth of knowledge--that surprises you. Ask them, even, if they remember what sort of poems/poets they were taught in school. If nothing else, it will tell you what's stuck with them all this time. And hey, wherever there's someone whose taste you trust, may as well mine them for more recs!

Books about poetry. Okay, so you've got several avenues you can take when looking to read poetry. But you mention learning--so let's talk about those resources. I would say there are a few different angles to take here: anthologies, histories, biographies, and workbooks. I know I've already mentioned anthologies, but it's worth mentioning here again because not all anthologies are alike. They're edited by different people and have different goals. Sometimes the goal is to give as wide a spread of a certain thing as possible; other times it's to be very narrow in scope for deeper exploration. Likewise, sometimes they will have a lot to say before a certain poem/poet is introduced, and sometimes they stick with bare bones. Flip through an anthology before committing to it to see if it strikes the right balance for you. How much context would you like? Histories is kind of a wide range...they overlap a lot with biographies and more academic ventures. These are the type that might focus on a pair or group of poets who had a relationship of some kind (friendship, antagonism, student-teacher, etc). So you know, you can find a book about the Pre-Raphaelites, for example, and if the author(s) know what they're about you'll get tons of amazing context for the point in time, the social fabric they lived in, their influences, and why they changed the world, basically. Biographies are that, but more focused on one person. I really enjoy biographies about poets because in my experience the author set out to write the book because they really love the poetry and find the person behind it interesting. Sometimes they have even been a student of the poet in question. I think it's really great to get so much historical and personal context, because you can read the poetry in so many more ways. (I don't know what your educational background is, but are you familiar with the various types of literary criticism? There are so many lenses to choose from, and all useful in different ways. If you're interested in hearing more about that, let me know!) Workbooks are ones that are designed to help you write poetry. Even if you're not interested in pursuing writing for yourself, it can teach you a whole lot about reading it because it gives you a greater understanding of its underlying structure. Stephen Fry's The Ode Less Travelled does well with introducing poetic elements, providing examples, and setting up exercises for you to try yourself. I hope at least some of this has been helpful to you. Thanks again for your ask!

[koo-zy]

hello! do you have any fantasy/historical jungkook x reader fic recs ?

hello lovely!! i’m so sorry i missed this yesterday :( i was actually planning on reorganizing my tumblr because i feel like no fics are ever going to be able to be found my blog LOL so hopefully that’ll be done soon!!

as for the fantasy/historical fics.. i’m honestly not too sure what “fantasy” (do demons count..? soulmates..? werewolves????) typically includes so i’m just going to include a bunch of fics that hopefully fit in :”) here are the first ones that i thought of + summaries included in their main posts!

also.. i’m sure i missed a lot of amazing fics (mainly because i’m dumb as hell and don’t really know what can be included in “fantasy”) and would like to apologize in advance!! 

@inktae ’s entire masterlist (they have a lot of fantasy fics!)

while this isn’t just jungkook recs, @ficswithluv had a fantasy category a few weeks ago!

@kpopfanfictrash ‘s jungkook masterlist

@fortunexkookie ‘s jungkook masterlist

one shots!

énouement - @littlemisskookie Mulan!AU

War is Hell, but it’s what you had to do to take your brother’s place. Of course, between the days of Hell are little slices of Heaven you’d call your Captain, Jeon Jungkook.

midas - @gukyi 

jeon jungkook was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and the power to turn whatever he wants into pure gold. you were born with healing and invisibility powers but without a cent to your name. so when you’re plucked off of the streets for pickpocketing and assigned to be his minder as punishment, you realize you’re going to have to overcome a lot more than class differences if either of you are going to get what you want.

i will not lose! - @jimlingss Magic!AU

A single bet - use every means to make Jeon Jungkook fall in love with you.

a piece of the moonlight - @/jimlingss Mulan!AU

For your loved ones, the people who are waiting at home, the people who have died - you will fight. And sometimes to fight means to sacrifice: who you really are and the person you really love.

dynasty - @/jimlingss Historical!AU

It’s no secret that the Emperor is infertile. But even so, a girl is selected every three months and brought to become his concubine in hopes of conceiving the next heir. This time, it’s you. And in order to prevent execution, Jeon Jungkook might just aid you in conception.

game of temptation ft. knj, myg, kth - @/jimlingss Succubus!AU 

As a succubus, your beauty is unrivaled and shaped to tempt mortals. But it’s still hard to resist Taehyung, and there’s little you can do once you’ve been coerced to do his bidding for him. This time, you find yourself entering the affluent Kim Household as a housemaid. And these poor humans don’t know your intentions are far from being angelic.

knot today - @kinktae

(IDK IF WEREWOLVES COUNT BUT JERHFBDSKNZX THIS IS REALLY GOOD!!)

When your first heat approaches and you are left partnerless, who better to turn to than your alpha roommate that you’ve spent the better half of your life hiding your feelings for?

ego - @luxekook Harry Potter!AU

(..i also don’t know if HP counts LOL)

in which jeongguk is a cocky lil shit and the reader has to take him down a few pegs

stumbling - @hayjeon Prince!AU

an ask in their inbox regarding the prompt: hii! so the royal wedding of prince harry and meghan is today, and since my bias is JK and since i’m such a sucker for royal stuff, can i reuest a fic of bts all being royal of 7 different kingdom, and all of them being invited to jin’s wedding and the girl (oc) is also invited and kookie met her there, and eventually took an interest at her? the girl is also royalty from other kingdom. thanks!

werewolf!jungkook - @/hayjeon

an ask in their inbox regarding the prompt: Werewolf!jk? (im sorry ik it’s overused and unoriginal) where he and his mate have pups to take care of and they’re quite a mischievous bunch!

there for you - @cupofteaguk Hogwarts!AU

Jungkook is always known for doing things unapologetically, and it makes sense given how almost nothing gets under his skin—almost nothing, but maybe there’s an exception that takes a form of a muggleborn with the shy smile and quirky spells.

say you won’t let go - @/cupofteaguk Soulmates!AU

You’ve been eighteen years old for ten years when Jungkook first moves in 

new romantics - @/cupofteaguk Hogwarts!AU

Jeon Jungkook will go down in history as one of the best Quidditch players that ever graced the Hogwarts scene. It seems like he always gets what he wants—his life is very predictable in that sense. What he cannot predict, however, is the newest weekend employee wiping down the tables at the Three Broomsticks.

a cinderella story - @suhdays Modern Cinderella!AU

you are forced to work multiple jobs as you live under your stepmothers roof. unable to move out and strive for complete independence, you do what you can in order save enough. turns out, as a college student that is harder than you thought. so, you distract yourself by joining online chat groups in which you meet a boy that goes to your school. that boy? none other than the rugby star himself, jeon jeongguk. it doesn’t prove to be an issue until he asks to meet you at an upcoming halloween party. he’s never noticed you before so why not hide yourself in order to live your dreams, if only for a moment?

explorer - @1kook Alien!AU

Jungkook does not want to impress the frankly tyrannical ways of his planet on you. He just wants to stay here and keep your couch warm for you, hold your hair back when you wash your face in the morning.

rottenfolk - @junqkook Faerie!AU

a look was as hazardous as chemicals, a kiss as perilous as poison; his eyes and lips felt akin to a cure, but he was purely venom.

the young wolf - @/junqkook Game of Thrones!AU

he was promised to another, meant for another to hold and to love and to kiss. but when his hand lingered on yours for a moment too long to be proper, and when his eyes held yours for a beat too long to be a passing glance, you allowed desire to creep into your veins, to take root inside your heart. perhaps before you might have been permitted to love him freely. perhaps he might have even been promised to you instead. but war was no place for the wants and desires of two people, no matter how much they yearned for it to be.

the lighthouse - @rubycoast S2L!AU

(im not too sure if this is considered fantasy but its one of my favs!)

you and jungkook had one thing in common: you were both lost souls stagnant in the search of some fulfillment. the one of many differences was that your story had been written on your sleeves, while jungkook’s was a story needed to be unriddled.

black magic - @hansolmates​ Magic Uni!AU

a witch with an ambition for learning, you stumble across a crushing spell in the middle of the forbidden section. of course you have to try it out! what happens when the crushing spell not only has jeon jungkook crushing on you, but you crushing on him?

the sea & the storm - @jamaisjoons Fantasy!AU

the sea is a powerful mistress. she is calm and beautiful. she is mysterious and alluring. she is a force to be reckoned with. above all, however, she is lonely. until she meets him. fantasy au.

the lionheart’s oath - @sugaxjpg Knight & Princess!AU

There was no happy ending, no dragon slayer to save the kingdom and get the princess — there was only him: Jungkook. A simple orphan that was lucky enough to be invited into the castle, a former homeless thief that had found shelter in the form of an elysian heir. Now, after twelve years by your side, he was about to lose you to the world you sought to explore.

ghosts just wanna have fun - @/sugaxjpg Psychic & MedSchool!AU

When Jungkook discovered that he could communicate with dead people, the last thing he expected was that they would be there to give him romantic advice.

wartime child - @ktheist Wizard!AU

raising a baby in wartime isn’t easy. but when your baby starts showing signs of magical abilities, you’re forced to ring up the only other person you know he takes after: jeon jungkook.

birth of an empress - @/ktheist Dragon Slayer!AU

partners for three years and friends for longer, jungkook thought you’d remain so until he saw you with the knight at the merchant’s trade.

alternatively, the friendly neighborhood wizard trying to propose to the infamous dragon slayer in the middle of slaying a dragon? now, that’s classic.

series/two shots!

fear in your eyes - @/gukyi Werewolf!AU

(again, idk if werewolves count but hifksdjcx !!!!)

there’s a werewolf in that forest behind your house, they told you, and he’ll eat you before you can even beg for mercy. 

the worshiper series - @/jimlingss 

Long ago, there were gods who resided in Heaven -- existing to watch over and protect the universe. Each of them had their own flaws, trials and tribulations; some which were more sparing than others, but these are their stories...

a promise of freedom - @/jimlingss Wartime!AU

War is cruel and its inhumanity has not spared you. Captured by the enemy, you were brought to the front lines to heal their wounded. But after one night of saving a particular man’s life, he swears to fulfill any wish of yours.

one year, my love - @/hayjeon Historical!AU

You forge a marriage contract with the strangely speaking man who suddenly stumbled into your town with memory loss, but little do you know that he’s actually the lost Crown Prince, and a lot can happen between a married man and woman in one year.

demigod!au drabbles - @/hayjeon

an ask in their inbox regarding the prompt: i have a supernatural au prompt! how bout daughter of hades/loner!reader and son of zeus/bully! jungkook?

into the woods - @/junqkook Goblin!AU

getting hurt and stumbling upon a goblin in the forest leaves you completely at his mercy, though you aren’t sure if that’s necessarily a bad thing.

lionheart - @/junqkook Magic!AU

as a sorcerer, it is of the utmost importance that you keep your magic a secret from everyone. when you become prince jungkook’s servant, it becomes increasingly difficult to keep your identity hidden; especially when you fall in love with him.

a royal exchange - @/hansolmates

she’s the man!au where the princess impersonates her brother yoongi in order to finish his degree on time while yoongi is thrusted into princely duties. jeongguk is in the mess purely through room arrangement

knight!jungkook x princess!reader - @/ktheist

a series with 27 parts!

that’s all i can think of off the top of my head right now :(( not gonna lie, half of these probably don’t even fit into either of those categories and i know there are so so so many amazing fantasy/historical fics out there!! i wish i knew them all but i hope this helped a little bit! if anyone has any fic they’d like to rec, feel free to send it to meee :)

and finallyyyyy i leave my following page open for viewing as well so you can check out all of the authors i follow!! please show all of these authors (and many more) some love! <3

[yukiobeyme]

Hi! I saw your hc of the brothers reacting to a mc playing the harp. Do you think you could do hc with an skilled painter mc too? I study art, but due to a depressive episode i stoped painting, i started painting again a few days ago and remembered how much i enjoy it. Maybe due to the studys of the devildom she didnt have time for a while? Its ok if you dont want to or feel uncomfortable:)

Sorry, it took forever but hopefully, this suffices. It’s the longest thing I have ever written for Obey Me (5.6k words) The picture that is included is drawn by me, which is a painting that is featured in Detroit Become Human. It was in chapter 6 for Marcus, and the painting is human- hope. So, yea I hope you all enjoy and it’s just as good as the harp fic I did.

This is also like how the brothers try to help you with depression too because I need it lol. The first half is them noticing that you aren’t doing art anymore then you randomly paint then its the brother’s reaction though I don’t know if their reaction is long enough.

I am behind on requests but feel free to send stuff, I’m doing online classes so I have more free time and on my computer constantly. I think I’m finally gonna catch up on everything.

Trigger Warning for Depression and not necessarily Eating Disorder Otherwise Nonspecific but MC struggles to eat while depressed. 

 Art was something you always did. It was started as an innocent hobby, then you started to doodle on your assignments and notes. If there were paper and pencil around, there was bound to be one of your drawings on it eventually. In high school, you decided to take Art as your elective of choice, and during that time you learn what your favorite medium was and what your art style is. You found out you like paints the most; acrylics were the easiest for you, it was the most forgiving of the paints, watercolor you loved but it took work and concentration to do, and oil paint you practiced loved to hate. Oil was always so hard to work with, at first you always overworked the paint and left it looking dull and sad looking, but you were determined to get it right. Your final project was a huge oil painting, you took your time to plan and layout that painting. The topic you chose was the fall of angels, which you didn’t know much about. You knew about the Celestial Realm and Devildom, everyone does but it’s not like humans can walk freely in either of the realms. You debated back and forth if you should do a generic angel or if you should have more fun with it and recapture the fall of a true angel. Your research led you to learn about six brothers that fell around the same time. You recognized the first name easily, Lucifer; he was prideful and what everyone refers to the most powerful demon. He fell from Heaven after he became so impressed with his own beauty, intelligence, power, and position that he began to desire for himself the honor and glory that belonged to God alone. This pride represents the actual beginning of sin in the universe—preceding the fall of the human Adam by an indeterminate time. The other names, Mammon, Leviathan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Belphegor didn’t seem to ring any bells, but you took the time to try and research each on. You decided to capture all their falls in one painting, they fell in the order of power. Lucifer would be the furthest one down the canvas and that’s why Belphegor would be at the top still within the clouds. The painting ended up looking amazing and still hangs on the wall in your living room, it was the first decoration piece you ever put up.

Fast forward to when you were whisked away to Devildom to be an exchange student. They were nice enough to give you time to pack things, only 15 minutes to pack a year's worth of things. You grabbed random clothes and stuffed them in a bag, you grabbed your favorite stuff animal and went immediately went to your desk where you kept all your painting supplies. You made sure to grab as many different colors as possible, all different brush sizes and your two sketches that could handle the paint medium. You decided to grab your phone and its charger though you knew it probably wouldn’t work in Devildom. With one last glance around your house, you paused and looked at the oil painting before telling the demon that you were ready to start this adventure.

Much to your surprise, you were met with faces that were familiar. Though it wasn’t because you had met them before rather it was because you studied their faces and bodies to paint them. You were flushed the whole time they introduced themselves and was even more flustered when you realized you would be living with them for the next year. If they noticed, they didn’t say much about it. You knew they noticed your stares though. You were studying their faces, trying to recall if you captured them right, if your references were accurate or not.

You tried to do some form of art every day, from doodles or painting. Usually, you would sketch something during your breaks and paint them once you were back at the House of Lamentation. The brothers knew you painted but you always requested to be left alone. This was the time you played the music you wanted and get lost in the brush strokes. It was your stress release, something you found joy in, the way you reconnected with your body.

But within a month of being an exchange student, your RAD work piled up and instead of sketching during breaks you had to start studying and doing work to ensure you stayed on top of everything. The mix of stress and not taking care of yourself led you down a spiraling depression. You gave up painting and daily self-care was sparse and very little. You stayed up late and woke up early to get as much work done as possible, food was on the small side and on the go food.

You had gone shopping with Asmodeus and grabbed canvases, the now gathered dust in the corner of your room. Somewhere still blank and others left unfinished, but you could never push yourself to pick up your paintbrushes. Sometimes you would pull out all your material and just sit and stare at the canvas until you gave up and left it alone. Soon the brothers decided to make a schedule so that you never alone and offer you different types of support that were unique to them. They never pushed you to pick up painting again, though they tried to encourage it and encourage you to take care of yourself.

Lucifer:

Lucifer noticed how your habits changed, while he never saw your finished art pieces, he saw bits and pieces. He noticed that you like to draw what was around you, he had seen you draw the RAD, the House of Lamentation, and even sketches of his brothers and himself. When you stopped drawing in the morning, he just figured you weren’t as inspired, but then the dark circles under your eyes formed, skipping meals or eating too little, and how you sometimes drifted in class.

He thought it should be his job to help you, but he didn’t know how. For the first time in centuries, he felt powerless. He decided whenever you skipped meals, he would find ways to get you to eat. In the morning if you skipped breakfast, he grabbed a fruit and a granola bar to hand to you. Or when you skipped dinner, he brought the food to wherever you were studying. He made the time to sit with you, while you ate, bringing work of his own to do. He would try to brush off as he simply wanted to work in a different area when in reality, he wanted to make sure you ate.

Finally, Lucifer would ask if you had drawn or painted recently. Your grimace told him everything, “No, I haven’t been inspired recently,” you shrugged it off hoping he would drop it. But instead, he poked and tried to get more information from you. You broke after a while spilling all the struggles you have been facing and how the stress-induced depression, you assured him you been through it before and you would be fine but right now it just felt like loneliness and darkness.

While Lucifer didn’t show it, it broke his heart to hear you say that. He figured you were stressed, and you seemed down, but he didn’t know it was too this magnitude. He did his best to support and encourage you in any way he could, hoping that it would help somehow. He offered to tutor you and help you with homework in hopes to lighten your load. He knew he should tell Diavolo, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. This felt too intimate to disclose to him, he felt happy and privileged that you shared it with him, and he didn’t want to break that. At least you were talking to someone.

Mammon:

Mammon was oblivious to how your schedule and habits changed. It wasn’t until Beelz mentioned that he hadn’t seen you eat yet today during lunch. Then it clicked how he hadn’t seen you as much or rather how he had to seek you out constantly to get the attention he deserved from you.

He started to pay more attention to you and something seemed missing from your stack of books but could never place it until he came to your room and say your sketchbook on the floor under all your books. It clicks he doesn’t remember the last time he saw you drawing or doodling.

He then noticed your tired eyes, your slow-moving, and you did skip a lot of meals or at very little. He totally increased how much he spent with you, even when you claimed to have too much work to do. He would simply sit at your feet and lean against you. You would occasionally drop your hand down and play with his hair. You noticed the increase of affection and time he spent with you and at first, you were annoyed with it but soon you enjoyed the quiet company. Once Mammon saw you were happy to have him around, he started talking to you about his random schemes; which never failed to make you smile and laugh. He soon made it his goal to make sure you were always laughing and smiling, he never wanted it to stop.

You didn’t disclose everything to Mammon, but you talked about your feelings to him. In some ways it was hard not too, having him so close but you couldn’t help but feel vulnerable. He comforted you to the best of his ability, sometimes he said the wrong things, but he tried and attempted to fix it.

He would surprise you with small gifts, one day at lunch he managed to get a yakisoba bread and you were surprised when he offered you the whole thing instead of just wanting to split it. You offered to split it with him and you wouldn’t take no for an answer. You both ate you halves outside, and you couldn’t help but cuddle up against him. When you finished your food, you gave Mammon a peak of the cheek. He flushed immediately and you hooked your arms together and walked to class with him. Needless to say, he bragged about it to the brother’s group chat and he was made fun of because of how he blushed for the rest of the day.

Leviathan:

Noticed the symptoms immediately, he had been through similar things. That there were times he stopped video games and anime or stopped finding the enjoyment from it. Though because he was constantly in his room, no one would notice.

He simply offered you silent support, making sure you were never alone or in one place for too long. He would try to drag you away for a quick game or anime or watch him play a game. You finally asked why he was spending more time with you and he would bashfully say while he didn’t know how you felt, he felt like he had been through similar things. It broke your heart to hear that and you pulled him into a tight hug. Later that night, you went to his room bringing tea for both of you and you both stayed up way too late talking to each other. It seemed like talking about it help life some of the pressure off you.

He said his door was always open to you, and while you didn’t always take him up on it, you occasionally when to study and watch him play whatever game he was currently playing. It was nice to have his company, even if you didn’t talk, it was comforting to be in the company that understood your feelings.

During class, he sat to your left while Beelz sat to your right. Levi made sure to nudge you if your attention seemed to diverge from the lecture and always offer you his notes if you missed anything. He also showed you places to hide in RAD, if you wanted to hide during lunch but his only request was you took food and ate it. He said he would prefer to hang out as well but respected your privacy if you truly wanted to be alone.

Would try and encourage you to paint or draw again. Asking you to draw him some character from his games or anime. You occasionally you would indulge in drawing whatever he wanted. Overall, Levi was your quiet support and you were grateful for it, to be able to sit in quiet and not to be asked what is wrong or must talk was a perfect escape sometimes.

 Satan:

He was worried about you, he offered to take you to the library for a new place to study. He would read your textbooks to you. He would read it whether you were in his room, the library, or curled up on his bed. Though most times if he read to you on his bed, you would drift off to sleep listening to his voice. He would always smile whenever you managed to fall asleep, it comforted him that he was able to help you fall asleep.

Satan would find books about depression, but he was uncertain because it sounded to clinically and he doubted that it was really like how the book described. Though he continued to research, trying to find out ways to support you. Online forums and talking to the brothers about the things they were doing and what seemed to help you.

He would stumble sometimes but you couldn’t help but feel touched he tried so hard. When you say the help guide and books he had, you cried. You couldn’t believe someone would care this much about you and want to help you. He was there to comfort you and once you calmed down you thanked him and laugh, “I was wondering why your actions seemed straight from a self-help book, Thank you,” you kissed him on the cheek and gave up studying for the day to hang out and cuddle with him. He would ask what he could do to help, what things he did that helped or hurt you. You would drift off to sleep with a smile on your face.

When you weren’t reading together and Satan would play drama, especially Korean Dramas, something you introduced to him. He would play your favorite one, the one you have already watched together and that you have seen a million times, but still loved it and reacted to the story every time. Sometimes Satan would quote the show and act dramatically to make you smile and laugh.

But there were hard times with Satan, he was the Avatar of Wrath, after all, he would get annoyed at the situation, but never at you. He always made sure that you knew that, though occasionally he would say something that he would immediately apologize for it. He tells you; he feels worthless and helpless. He wanted to help you and make it all better, but he knew that isn’t how it works.

Asmodeus:

Much like Mammon, offered you comfort and affection. Whisking you away to get the newest coffee or tea at the café, shopping, bubble baths, and doing skincare with him. While you tried to protest, he was consistent, and most times was a success. He starts to offer to go the café to study for a change of scenery, offering to quiz you while you took the bubble bath, or doing face masks that you could put on and study for a bit while it dried.

“Stress isn’t good for your skin. Neither is not sleeping,” Asmodeus would tell you pointedly.

Never directly asked what was wrong, but constantly reminded you he was there for you if you ever needed him or wanted to talk. While you didn’t to it often, instead of talking to him you would seek him out to cuddle and of course, he never denied it. It was a guaranteed break for you and most times you fell asleep.

Whenever he took you shopping, he would drag you to the art store encouraging to buy art supplies, he ended up buying you new paintbrushes, paint, and canvas. Telling you there wasn’t any rush to paint anything, but it would just be there in case you hit inspiration. He would always joke that you could paint him or “paint him like a French girl,” and would flash you a cheeky grin. You would laugh and shove his shoulder.

Sat behind you in most of your class and whenever he had the change, he would give you affection. He would pass you notes constantly, sometimes it was drawings of his own. Sometimes they were beautiful and amazing other times he drew funny sketches. You quickly found out who drew Lucifer riding the unicorn and Diavolo in the dress. The funny sketches also included exaggerated drawings of the teachers or his brothers, which was so hard not to laugh in class so you could only turn around and glare at him, that didn’t last long before you broke out into a smile and shook your head at him.

Beelzebub:

Noticed you lack interest of food and lack of eating immediately. Was constantly bring you snacks and sharing them with you. He sometimes was sneaky with it, dropping it off fruit slices and sitting it beside you and leaving. Then coming back later to see the empty plate and he was beaming. Would study with you and sat near you in class, whenever he pulled out a snack, he would set it in between you, in hopes you would snack on his food.

Whenever it was his turn to cook, he would find out your favorite comfort food; whether it was something from Devildom or Human food. Trying to make sure the food was as appetizing as possible and mouth-watering in hopes to entice you.

Would always be proud whenever you ate and encouraged yourself to be a glutton sometimes. Beelzebub was also your teddy bear, always down to engulf you in a hug and study with you occasionally. He would also tell you stories and memories about Lilith, times in the Celestial Realm, or random memories that were simply used as a distraction or calm you down when you got too tense about your schoolwork.

Beelzebub would also be the one that read you bedtime stories when you couldn’t sleep, it always made you laugh. He would do the voices and everything, as you cuddle against him. It became a normal thing to wake up to see Beelzebub leaning against you bed, he would admit he was checking on you during the middle of the night and decided to stay just in case you needed him.

He always checked up on you and while he was the Avatar of Gluttony, he indulged you in other things than food. He gave you a lot of praise and even small trinkets he found while he was out shopping.

He was just always there for you and he had his alerts on specifically for you. He would always reply with lightning speed. He was also the one that came up with the idea to not let you be alone too long and create the shifts between the brothers. While it was annoying in some ways you couldn’t help but feel touched by their efforts

Belphegor:

Consistently offered and told you take a break and naps. He would drag you to the planetarium to study and while he offered to study with you, he would end up dozing off at some point. It always made you smile. You would go snag his blanket and tuck him in.

He would constantly wrap you up in blankets and cling to you like a koala, trying to make sure you were as comfortable as possible as you study. He even would offer you to use his pillow that he carried around. While you were hesitant, but you adored how Belphegor smelled and often found comfort in that. He would be able to help you learn about the stars and constellations. He could talk forever about it and often did. He knew all the stories behind them, what they looked like and could point them out.

Sometimes you would count the stars with him to fall asleep. Belphegor was known to tuck you in, he would kiss you on your forehead and whenever he found you asleep, he would join you. It was the simple things that made you feel a little better and loved. Never forced you to talk about anything, but whenever he noticed you were staring off into space, he would begin to ramble about everything and anything. Trying to ground you and bring you back to the present.

He knew where to find you whenever you couldn’t sleep, and you weren’t in your room and he told the other brothers but always told them he would go and comfort and hang out with you. You were in the planetarium, it where he went when he couldn’t sleep or felt restless. He would sit beside you and sit in silence, he usually had a blanket to drape over the both of you. You would lean again him and rest his head on your shoulder, bringing in his smell and feel some of your tensions melt away.

Finally, one random day, you had inspiration hit you. Asmodeus had bought you a canvas and it was huge, and you knew the painting had to be just right. You decided to paint it outside, thinking maybe getting some vitamin D would help as well. You gathered your art stuff before you headed out. You ran into Satan as you made your way outside, you flashed him a shy smile and he offered to help you carry out your things. You were in the garden and you slowly set up; Satan helped you set up before disappearing. You grabbed your pencil and started to sketch out your painting. You heard someone approaching you and it was Satan though he was carrying a book before finding a place to sit near you in the shade. You gave him a soft smile before you went back to work. Before you knew it, you were loaded up your pallet with all different colors and started to paint. You allowed yourself to get lost in the painting. Letting your mind go blank and allowing your hand to take over the paint strokes. You didn’t notice the crowd that gathered behind you, you were completely lost in the joy of the painting. Your smile only continued to go the more and more you painted, you remembered how much you loved painting; the tension in your shoulders started to release and you felt renewed. Once you were finished you stepped back to see the painting in the full picture. You looked behind you to see all the brothers behind you, looking at your painting.

“It’s beautiful,” Satan said setting his book down and the other brothers nodded in agreement.

“Thank you… for everything,” you started and continued when you saw the brothers confused looks, “For supporting me and reminding me to take care of myself,” you flashed all of them a small smile.

“It’s inspired by all of you. That you reached out to me and reminded me of the hope that it gets better, even if it takes a while or doesn’t feel like it ever would.” All the brothers looked touched, but your words and it was Beelz that pulled you into a hug first. Soon you were getting hugs from all the brothers except Lucifer who gave a nod, you knew that later in private you would get a quick hug from him later.

Lucifer:

Lucifer had a sense of pride in seeing you paint again. Seeing you so engrossed in your work and how confidently your paint strokes were. He loved watching how the colors swirled together and how the painting slowly came to life. He realized he could watch you paint all day; he would later ask if you were willing to paint him something for his office. He would let you in his office and look around to get an idea of the mood of the room and how much space you had to work with. When you finished the painting, Lucifer hung it up almost immediately. He whenever he was stressed and tense, he would find himself looking at it, following the swirls of the colors to calm himself.

He also adored to indulge you in more expensive paints, which always took your breath away. He would allow you in his office to paint if you wanted. Most times Lucifer was working on papers, but occasionally he would play the piano, soft melodies that were soothing. It became a tradition that once a week, you would go to his office to paint or draw. Asking his opinions on sketches and if you should follow through with them or change it up.

Mammon:

He was taken back by how beautiful you looked as you painted. You were so carefree and happy; it took his breath away. He watched how your body moved as you painted, how smooth and elegant it looked. It was angelic, he was the only brother that dared to approach you; he would sit down on the grass and watch you.

He never formally requested any paintings from you, but you ended up painting him something anyway. You bought a copy of the magazine he was on the cover of and recreated it for him to hang up in his room. He was speechless when you gave it to him, you decided to do it more of an abstract with lots of colors. He hung it up on his wall and whenever he looked at it, he would smile and blush, it seemed so intimate that you painted him. That you probably spend a lot of time looking at his face to recreate it. He was greedy and craved watching you paint; for some reason, it was soothing for him and it made you happy so in turn, it made him happy.

Leviathan:

He watched in amazement, seeing you so shy and in a shy to being confident and standing tall. HE was in awe; his mouth fell open at some point. He felt like a child again, recalling how he has memories of having similar reactions when Lucifer did things. He followed you paint strokes, watching the painting come to life. When you turned around, he gave you the biggest smile, he was so happy to see you so passionate and happy with your work.

Even though the memory of being chased by Henry 1.0 was fresh in your mind, you decided to recapture him for Levi. So he could always have him hanging in his room. Levi was speechless when he saw it, he would whisper thank you to you. His smile made it so worth it.

Satan:

He found it super important to text his brothers that you were painting in the garden or about to start. The chat blew up with excitement. He grabbed a random book; he had no intention to read the book, but he didn’t want you to think he was staring at you. He sat underneath the trees near you and opened the book and started to pretend to read. He was amazing and honored that he could watch the full process of watching your painting coming to life. From the rough sketch, then the base paint, and then watching you add more and more color. When he saw his brothers come out, he raised one finger to his lips, to ensure they stayed quiet.

He didn’t ask you to paint him anything but asked if he could watch you occasionally. Which you mostly agreed to, though with more intimate projects you would tell him next time. You ended up painting himself something anyways. It was an old-world map, Fra Mauro map. It was made in Italy and even included the Garden of Eden. When he first saw it, he was speechless, he was excited though. This painting would go so well in his room, it matches the old-world library setting he had in his room. He was even more excited because he has a book about old-world maps that Fra Mauro is featured in it. The hug he pulled you into took your breath away, but you felt so happy because of his reaction.

Asmodeus:

Asmodeus was excited to see you painting again. He would be lying if he said it wasn’t attractive to watch you get lost in your art. While he was watching you paint, he couldn’t stop thinking about what other things you could paint and wondered if you would be okay with painting him like a French girl. Soon he disregarded the thoughts and simply appreciate the art in front of him, though he decided that you were really the masterpiece here.

Instead of painting Asmodeus a picture on canvas, you asked him to take off his shirt and lay down on his bed. You had brought your paints and paint brushed, while he was confused, he complied.

“This is going to be cold, sorry,” you gave him a heads up before you painted the stroke on his back. Asmodeus love it, you were turning him into a piece of your art. It felt intimate and precious. Though it was cold, and he complained and shivered, he was excited to see the final product.

Once you were done, you took a picture of your painting on his and yours D.D.D. You told him you combined two of your favorite paintings by Vincent Van Gogh, Starry Night but instead of the yellow stars, it was Van Gogh’s sunflowers.

 Beelzebub:

He was the most excited out of the brothers, he was so happy to see you painting again. Seeing it come to life right in front of him, gave him a new appreciation for art. He could have watched you paint forever, you looked so carefree and relaxed. He didn’t know how much he missed your smile. After you were done and the painting was dried, he would ask if he could trace the colors. He would pull you into a huge hug and spin you around, making you cling onto him and laughing.

Beelz would ask instead of painting him something if you could have a paint night with him. You decided to pull up a Bob Ross video and follow it together. The results were dramatic, yours look close to Ross’ but had your unique style, while Beelz tried his hardest and it did resemble the reference paint. You started to giggle at his painting and before you knew it, Beelz took his extra paint and flung it at you. You let out a shriek before joining in, in the end, you both ended up covered in paint and laughing at each other.

 Belphegor:

Belphegor was napping when his D.D.D started going off like crazy, he was annoyed until he saw that it was about you were about to paint. It gave him a jolt of energy to rush out to the garden. He was the last brother to get there. Standing behind you, he watched how your brush danced across the page and how your body swayed. You seem in your element and lost in your work. It was so relaxing to watch you paint, how the colors swirled together and just seeing how relaxed and happy you were seemed to rub off on him.

You knew you didn’t have to paint Belphie anything, but you couldn’t help yourself. You knew exactly what you wanted to draw anyways. You set up in the Planetarium and went to work to capture the sky above you. Belphie ended up joining you, he grabbed his blanket and sat behind you before curling up and watching you paint. It wasn’t long before you heard his soft snores behind him. You chuckled at him before going back to work. When you were finished you saw he was still asleep, you couldn’t help yourself. You crept near him with a paintbrush in hand and touched his cheek with it. He woke up immediately due to the cold paint, you soon were fighting over the paintbrush. You didn’t stand a chance against him, once he had the paintbrush in hand, he gave your cheek the same treatment. You both began to laugh and once you had calmed down, you showed him the painting you did for him. He pulled you into a hug, rubbing his painted cheek against yours to smear the paint even more.

When it was time for you to leave Devildom, you gave the brothers the painting. They tried to refuse but you wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Please, it’s a way for you to remember me. You inspired me to do and it’s a reminder to have hope that I’ll be back soon,” you told them a little teary-eyed. You knew you were going to miss all of them so much, but you had a renew sense and passion for painting and the brothers and Devildom has inspired a lot more pieces as soon as you got back to Earth.

[seoultraveller]

You’re the sweetest!!😭💕 But same here I love reading what you’re writing and it’s just fun having these conversations 🥰 Ahh, I see :( See it as a learning process maybe? But life is tricky :// (Smh, recess time must be even more annoying🥱)

Omg yes absolutely!! Don’t worry didn’t sound creepy😆 I can understand that though 😂 My hair started getting curly a couple of years ago so it’s been a long learning process ! I’m still learning though because my hair does not want to listen to me lolll it’s the hair who’s in charge 😅 and thank you !! Exactly, I wasn’t too scared once I was in school so that was a relief :)) YESS ITS THE BEST SLEEPING IN !!!!

Yesss go ahead marry him he’s good looking and he seems like a good dude😌✨ Though looking at others charts is so fun omggg it can really tell a lot about a person 👀

And omg thank you for always reading what I publish, it really means a lot🥺 AGH YOURE THE BESSTTT ;((💕💕

OMG BTWWW DID YOU SEE THE PERFORMANCE PREVIEW ??? IM STUNNED LIKEEE WOOOOW

💖 💗 💝

No~ you are!! 🥺 Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I’m falling. ... (either in love 🥰 or in obsession 🙃 with the soccer player & SAN! 😬) Yes, yes; I’ll do my best to see it as a learning process. Anything could pretty much be a learning process. How was your week overall though?

Play by Play of My Week: I arrive at the wrong side of the school and have to walk all the way across campus to the office. Once there, I tell them that I have been re-assigned to work there. One of the two ladies in the office says, “Oh, that’s funny. You’re not on our list.” In my head I am screaming 😡 NOT ON YOUR LIST! SO WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE EXACTLY!!! 🤬 They give me a map, because I was such a lost little one on the first day 🥺, and told me where to go. I arrive at the classroom and the teacher asks if I am set to be a one-on-one. I PROMPTLY say NO. NEVER WILL I EVER AGREE TO BE A ONE-ON-ONE. Too stressful. I’ve seen what it’s like first-hand, and some of these students beat up and hit their one-on-one aides. Listen I ain’t the mothafuckin’ one, two, or three FUCK THAT! The first day was easy. I just sat on my laptop, because although we are in-person, COVID restrictions still have to be in place. This whole entire thing is stupid. The second day I noticed that there are 7 aides (adults) in the class. Only three out of 12 students (in the class overall) signed up for in-person instruction but only two showed up all week. The ratio is soooo~ fucking off! Wednesday comes and I’m just chilling at that point because we are in a hybrid system. Wednesdays we are at home, online all day. Thursday, one of the aides struggles with the use of electronics and had an emotional meltdown on top of personal problems at home. I felt really bad for her. But only bad enough to WANT to go to the administration office and tell them all to FUCK OFF! (Would never do that because I have car payments to make 😉) On Thursday, the teacher actually bought us all lunch and it was pretty delicious!! Friday, we got to go home early and didn’t have to attend afternoon collaboration so 🙌 🙌 🙌. Over the course of the week I am less upset with the team that I immediately work with and more upset with administration in the district office. Anyway... ☺️

Okay good. I know that it can come across that way sometimes, not necessarily creepy, but weird... That’s interesting 🤔 So was your hair always straight up until recently? 🧐 It makes me wonder if that’s genetic. 😂😂 Yeah~ the hair is always in charge!! 😂😂

LOL 😂 I believe anything’s possible because we’re both human (🤞🏾if you ever see a black girl losing her shit over Son Heung Min... it’s me), but he’s dated Miss Korea and a few other k-pop idols. Little Ole’ Me ... can’t compete. 🥺 like... 🥺🥺 Yeah it can!! Looking at someone’s chart and thinking hmmm... 🤔 you could see how that works in someone’s life. It’s really interesting. His Cancer Venus ✨real fucking cute✨ but I think I like him more for his dedication and character. 😉 ☀️ ☺️

Of course!!! 🥺 ❤️ 🥰 💕

SAN NEEDS TO.............. [redacted] !!! TONIGHT!!! His part was so~ smooth. FIX ON! 🥺 bro~ stop! 😭 Yunho went on full-attack! I had to close my eyes. Black-haired Yeosang needs to stay. FOREVER!

[ambitionsource]

Idk what schools are like in NYC, do kids have hooks to hang up their coats? Lol this is such a lame question but anyway, anything to add?

i found this question SO funny on first read, like i just want you to know this is the first thing my brain thought of in reaction:

GJFKDLSJGKLFDSJHGSD anyway. i think the equivalent to what you’re asking here in the states is like... lockers. and the thing is this is actually a revealing question, because whether you use your locker (and for what purpose) is pretty telling of your personality. for example, i never used my locker in the last 3 years of high school and just kept everything in my backpack. this was kind of necessary when we only had 6 minutes of transition time in a huge school, but you get the idea.

farkle uses his locker, and his is kind of centrally located so its easy for him to come and go to it between classes. he doesn’t use it so much for schoolwork (he has his messenger bag for that), but he’ll keep spare items in there just in case like a jacket, a blazer, dance shoes, etc. in the early school years his locker is very sparsely decorated (because he has no friends...), but as we’ve seen canonically over time he decorates it with pictures of his friends, which grows in variety as the series goes on. the interesting thing about farkle’s locker is its more of a set piece than other character’s -- in certain episodes like 208, it basically IS farkle when he himself is absent. so his holds a lot more visual power than everyone else’s.

maya doesn’t use her locker. she keeps everything stuffed in the extra pockets of her dance duffle, which also doubles as her backpack. she takes it everywhere and rarely stops at her locker. if you opened it, there’d be nothing but a few crumpled assignments from like, freshman year that she never completed.

riley uses her locker sporadically, sticking mainly to keeping things in her backpack. she’ll leave a few textbooks in there or extra pairs of things like dance shoes and clothes if necessary, but she rarely goes to it. she has a couple of photos hung up inside, but otherwise she just doesn’t spend much time in there. she might also leave her coat in there if it’s a wintery day, but by senior year she’s more likely to drop it in the booth.

zay doesn’t really use his locker except to store his dance duffle between classes. he has photos in it (including the one of charlie featured in 211), but it gets updated infrequently since he doesn’t spend a lot of time there. he basically swaps out his backpack for his duffle, and his backpack is like standard green and one he’s had for ages so it’s flimsy but he’s decorated it with pins, buttons, and doodled all over it over the years. another thing is that he has this thing of letting his best friends over the years doodle something / “sign” his backpack, so he has stuff from his friends in middle school as well as yindra, nigel, riley, and yes, even charlie.

charlie is someone who uses his locker religiously (ba dum tss), partially i think because it gives him some place to orbit around as he goes through his day. there are a lot of canonical scenes with him talking to people at his locker, so people kind of know that’s a place to find him between classes. he has photos of his friends (well, Known friends, like haley + clarissa, pics with yindra from les mis, his sisters, church friends, etc), and he also has a little divider in the lower half that acts a shelf so he can separate his dance shoes and stuff from everything else. he tends to keep his backpack and dance duffle in the locker unless he needs it for a specific class, and then collects all his things at the end of the day each day.

isa uses her locker pretty efficiently as well, and she takes care to make sure it’s very organized. dividers, magnetic whiteboard with a to-do list, yeah she’s that bitch. she doesn’t necessarily go back and forth to it a lot each day (she knows how to get use out of her backpack), but she has it all worked out so that everything is exactly where it needs to be when she needs it. she doesn’t have a lot of personal affects in it though.

lucas... well. he didn’t use his locker at all until he was kicked out of the booth, because the booth was like... basically his locker as well as his semi-home lmao. like why bother to use your locker when you’re just gonna come back to the booth at the end of the day anyway? but once he got ousted he kind of had to recalibrate, and he uses his locker solely because he still just has a lot of... Stuff at school. he’s basically a little nomad and so he’s got his whole travel duffle stuffed in there at all times since it can’t be in the booth anymore. that said, even though he uses it, i don’t think lucas decorates it. that’s just not who he is and ain’t nobody got time for that.

asher most certainly uses his locker, and we’ve seen him use it more than a couple times in canon. he’s somewhere around charlie and isa in terms of how he uses it, but i think his has slightly more personal touch to it. he’s also got a back-up stock of like... every important thing he could ever possibly need in a little bin at the bottom of it, like an emergency first aid kit but for also like. self-care and school supplies lmao. in freshman year he had a mirror in there but when he became friends with lucas and dylan who would, incidentally, end up slamming his locker door a lot on accident, he got too nervous the mirror would shatter and got rid of it (which is probably a good thing because it effectively forced him to stress about his appearance about 34% less than he would’ve otherwise). he has some pics of the techie crew and pics + letters from dylan hung up now instead.

dylan has shit in his locker but he doesn’t really use it for school. he’s basically created a little quick shoppe out of it and has stores and stores of things like gum, extra writing utensils, candy, snacks, water bottles, and during testing season, scantron bubble sheets. he’s basically like... a dealer, only its school supplies + self-care stuff and he won’t charge you any money lmao. the interior door of his locker though is stuffed full with photos of his friends, family, and asher like 15 times. he also 55% of the time doesn’t even have a backpack. like he will show up to school with literally nothing and yet, somehow it doesn’t seem to matter. cory hates him for this and eric was suspicious of the locker shoppe for a while (even though once he got to know dylan as a person he was like okay yeah nvm he’s fine lol), but they’re just hatin bc dylan is using the system in his own way! he won’t do it the way they’re used to and they’re gonna have to DEAL WITH IT!

-- Maggie & Es

[thebeautybunny]

5 Life-Changing Habits to Bring into 2020

5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Happy New Year! I'm sure most of you reading this right now have your own goals, resolutions, and ambitions you would like to accomplish this year. After all, it's 2020!! It's a new decade, a fresh start, and I want ALL of us to grow and shoot towards our highest potentials within these next ten years. Thus, I have put together a list of a few beneficial habits that you can bring into the new year that will help you with your growth and journey to success! These five habits are habits that I have implemented into my own life in 2019, and I can say that they've really made a difference in my work ethic and overall achievements. I would like to share them with you in hopes that you will try at least one or two of them out, and that they will make a positive impact on your life as well. Starting with the easiest one:

1. Make Your Bed as Soon as You Wake Up

Don't underestimate how doing something so simple can really affect your morning! Making your bed as soon as you wake up not only makes your bedroom look so much more put together but it subconsciously sets the tone for the rest of the day. Think about it: It is the first "task" that you complete in your day, which then starts your day off with a sense of accomplishment. And if you can't AT LEAST make your bed first thing in the morning, then how are you possibly going to go about the rest of your day?? If you tend to just roll out of bed and go after you wake up, try it. Try it every day for a week and then report back to me how you feel at the end of the week. And besides, who doesn't enjoy sliding into a neat bed at the end of the day? Your future self will thank you.

2. Read For at Least 15-30 Minutes a Day

This habit has changed up my morning routine so much! I used to wake up in the morning, immediately reach for my phone, and scroll through Twitter and Instagram. Now, I've replaced that habit with reading a book for about 15 minutes every morning. I was inspired to do this after visiting my city's library to study for an exam I had coming up and being surrounded by so many books that I could read for free! 

This is a good habit to implement into your life because reading a book- especially one that feeds your self-improvement- becomes a part of the thoughts that you generate daily. If you're reading a book thats purpose is to help you out at some aspect in your life everyday, you will soon see it manifest itself into your life, because it becomes a part of your thoughts and your perspective. You begin to see the advice from the book play out in your life, and it's very rewarding! Compare this to scrolling through Instagram or Facebook (which I am guilty of too, don't get me wrong 😅) and consuming hundreds upon thousands of different opinions, negative news, and empty information that adds no value to your life the same way that reading a book does. Just think of it this way: whatever you read becomes the little background voice in your head. It can either be something beneficial to you and your growth, or something that adds absolutely no depth to your life. Look, I get it…cat videos and World War III memes are great! But so are books on how to start living your dream life! Which one is going to be more beneficial to you in the long run? And if you don't enjoy reading, please stop lying to yourself!! You just read 3 paragraphs of this blog post. If you found the time to read this post, you can find the time to read for 15 minutes. Find books that speak to you that don't feel like a drag when you read them. No one is asking you to read Webster's Dictionary or a biography on Prince Henry the Third. If I can do it, you can do it too. I believe in you!

3. Create a Vision Board

I created a vision board at the beginning of 2019 with my monthly calendar sitting right in the middle of it. Around my calendar, I printed out pictures of a few different things that I wanted to accomplish that year- a stack of books to represent reading, the number "$2,000" to represent saving up money, a foreign country to represent my desire to travel, a platter of fruit to represent eating better, and a camera & laptop to represent creating more content! I can proudly say that I have accomplished all of these goals. (although my diet COULD be better, LOL.)  I really did underestimate the power of having a vision board and how seeing your goals in front of you every single day brings you closer to hitting each one! Especially with me being such a visual person, having a vision board really inspired me and allowed me to fulfill all the achievements that I put onto it in 2019. You just want to make sure that you put it somewhere where you are forced to see it every single day, which for me was around my calendar. You want to dream big, but you also want to put goals on it that will be attainable and achievable within the next year. 

4. Exercise

Okay, I know this one probably sounds super cliché, but lemme tell ya: increasing my exercise practice last year has helped improve not only my physical health but my mental health as well! I started off the year by going to cycling classes twice a week with my best friend, which helped kick my cardio stamina into high gear. From that, I made it a habit to go to the gym at least 3-4 times a week. I find the gym to be a great place for me to relieve stress after a long day of work. The boost of endorphins it gives makes me feel so much better afterwards and feels like a reboot to my brain. And, of course, it's nice to see my booty get bigger from doing squats 😉. It also allows for a deeper, more restorative night’s sleep. Aaaaand you don't necessarily need a gym membership to workout! Don't let that be an excuse, darling. You can always workout at home or go for a run in your neighborhood. It's a great habit to build and stick to overall. 

5. Plan Out Your Week

I don't know about you, but I feel like I have more control over my life when I write down the things I need to do and the upcoming meetings and events I have down somewhere where I can frequently see it. I really don't know I how I could function without my daily planner. I think I'd be running around like a chicken with its head cut off without it. For me, I have three different calendars: the one hanging on my bedroom wall, the one in my phone, and the cute pink spiral book planner that I take with me everywhere. My planner allows me to write down the things I need to do, due dates, and meeting/ event times into it and I can see my week at a glance. I think it's extremely important to keep some kind of planner on you, especially if you have multiple jobs and/or you are a student. It's important to know when projects and assignments are due, what time your next work meeting is, and when you're meeting with your girlfriends for brunch. It's incredibly helpful to have it all in one place, and you'd be surprised how much less stressed you'd be if you immediately put down important dates into your phone calendar! I like to plan out my week at the beginning of it, on Sundays. For my wall calendar, I start marking down important dates (like pay day, my ortho appointments, birthdays, and concerts) as soon as the month begins, on the 1st. And for my phone calendar, I just import dates as soon as I know it- or else I'll forget and just freak out on whether my next dentist appointment was on the 6th or the 16th. (Yes, this has happened to me before…. NOT a fun feeling.)

These five habits are all habits that I have done in 2019 and, although they MIGHT seem small and insignificant, they have actually made such a positive impact on my life in the past year. I hope by trying out even just one or two of these habits and implementing them into your life will cause a ripple effect of other beneficial habits to manifest in your life in 2020. I want nothing but good vibes for everyone this year! Here is to living up to our full potentials in this new decade. Cheers!

~ Xoxo Chiyo 💋

[stuclyblrs]

as usual here’s my first thoughts of the semester

being in shanghai in general

i havent rly seen much of the city yet so idk cant comment

but life here is def different from nyc this isnt necessarily a super walk able city (but subway lines are pretty extensive)

in terms of academic life same thing very different like my dorm is 20min by bus to campus (not sure how long the subway takes tho) and its not really walk able compared to nyc where i walk literally everywhere on campus. additionally, here is one academic building and the dorms so rn its 5pm and ive been in the same building since 9am or so...... its nice to not have to rush to classes cause sometimes they can be far apart but i could see this getting old quick

the building is pretty nice tho idk everything thats here but i wanna find a better study spot than the library cause its soooooo small and gonna be a nightmare near exams

food ????? idk where to buy some or even how to cook LMAO so idk how im going to eat while im here today i ate lunch and will eat dinner on campus (no meal plan but we have a dining hall) but idk what im gonna keep doing lol

chinese

soooooo its been a while (a full year lol) since i last took chinese so im nervous lol im already a little overwhelmed with the amount of work we have for this class which is expected cause its the same amount of workload from elementary i (lucky korean is a bit less even tho its still a lot) but idk man i just dont wanna get behind and do poorly again especially since im in china....... i need to speak chinese........

my prof seems nice but its hard to say if she will always be this easy as a prof since it was the first day - i guess i can make further judgement once she starts actually teaching and to see how hard she grades stuff

there are some assignments that im rly unclear about tho since there more like idk stuff for chinese as a language here compared to in nyc since everyone except for native speakers are required to take it so idk how things work

calc iii

ummmmmm not off to the best start lol

my professor is hard to hear and idk what he was going today the stuff we were doing is stuff ive (supposedly) learned before but i dont understand anything he told us ???????

and not sure what the workload for homework will be since its every week + we also have a quiz every week yikes i miss my calc ii prof

physics ii

huhhhhhhhhh im scared marty

i was hesitant to come abroad b/c of physics - i just started the major last semester (ie when i took physics i) so im still v shakey on physics and Yeah i didnt know one if this class would ~count~ as physics ii (ive been told its fine lol cause like it still is a lower level class so it should be fine right) and two what the workload for it would be like here in shanghai lol especially since my physics i professor was very unconventional

additionally taking physics ii with the professor that teaches it in nyc is kind of like a rite of passage kind of thing w/in the physics majors lol (not that deep whats more importatant is me doing well and being on track for the rest of the major)

with that also being said i was unsure b/c i didnt want to take myself out of the community within the physics department cause everyone i met was so amazing (as in students idk many profs) and i have like a group of ppl that i tended to do work with so i dont have them to rely on anymore

okay so back to first impressions its kind of hard to say anything abt my prof yet cause stuff we did today was rly basic (like talking about the charges of a proton/electron lmao) but for the class itself......... big yike cause there’s only 6 ppl including me in it and thats too small for me personally and im the only study-away student (or just non-chinese student in general) in the class so i feel like i stand out a lot and that im the odd one out skldjfvnjdfskv i dont like it :(((((

opinions will change once we actually get into the material and start doing hw lol 

memory politics in china

i manged to get this to count for my cultures and contexts core ayyyyyyy

actually tho in general i wanted to take some kind of chinese history/culture course cause you know........ im in china but tbh there was nothing good (like no straight chinese history class like ?????) so this was the most interesting out of what i could take relating to china

overall seems okay idk im just not a writing person and this requires three main papers and like 9 one-page assignments

[arthurandabolition]

College Students and Consumer Culture

Electronics

1. Toshiba laptop with charger - want

2. Wireless mouse - want

3. DVD player - want

4. CD player - want

5. Smart Television - want

6. iPhone 6 with chargers - need

7. iPhone 4 with chargers – want (now; it’s my old phone)

8. iPod - want

9. USB portable charger - want

10. Batteries (AA, AAA, C, and D) - want

11. Remote controls - want

12. Blue earbuds - want

13. 2 Canon camera kits (with stands and external lights) - want

School Supplies (in total)

1. Three-in-one Solo Briefcase/Backpack - need

2. 5 bookbags – want

3. 13 notebooks - need

4. 20 page protectors - need

5. 4 packs of lined paper - want

6. 50 pens (roughly) – need (but not that many)

7. 25 pencils (roughly) – need (but not that many)

8. TI-84 Calculator - need

9. 100+ books, magazines, textbooks, bibles - need

10. 4 binders - need

11. 10 folders - need

12. Post-Its and notecards – want

13. Highlighters, colored pencils – want

Clothing and Accessories

1. 10 sweaters and long-sleeve shirts – need (but not that many)

2. 10 pairs of pants [lol “pairs” - because on “pair” of pants is technically one item, but it’s also a pair haha … ok let’s continue] – need (but not that many)

3. 100 shirts (roughly) – need (but not that many)

4. 10 suits – need (but not that many)

5. 5 scarfs – want

6. Wallet - want

7. 4 bracelets - want

8. 4 necklaces – 1 is a need (personal), the other 3 are wants

9. 4 watches - want

10. 20 hats (incl. beanies, snapbacks, buckets) – want

11. 12 belts – need (but not that many)

12. 10 pairs of shoes – need (but not that many)

13. A lotta’ underwear – need (but not that many)

14. 25 pairs of socks - want

15. My glasses? (with a case, cleaner and wipes) – need (without contacts)

16. My contact lenses? (with holder and solution) – need (without glasses)

Grooming items

1. 2 hair clippers (w/ adjustment combs) - want

2. 4 hair brushes - want

3. 2 hair combs - need

4. Hair scissors - want

5. 2 2-in-1 Suave Men’s shampoo and conditioner - need

6. 3 deodorant sticks – want (society pressures)

7. Bath & Body Works NOIR 2-in-1 hair and body wash and Ultra Shea Body Cream – want

8. 1 200-pack of One-a-day Men’s Vitamin vitamins - want

9. 3 colognes - want

10. Dove soap (unscented) - need

11. Aquaphor Healing Ointment – need, but can be substituted

12. Body lotion - need

13. 40 towels (all sizes) – want

Additional items (transportation, household furnishings, appliances, and more)

1. Lamp - want

2. Dresser - want

3. Nightstand - want

4. Adidas travel bag – need, when traveling

5. Two bookcases - want

6. Furnished bed - want

7. Car (2018 Hyundai Elantra) - need

8. Photographs of friends and family, signs of affirmation, calendar - want

9. Planner - want

10. Debit and Credit cards - need

11. 30 Envelopes - want

12. Best birthday cards I’ve received (about 60) - want

13. 98 DVDs - want

14. 50 CDs - want

15. 60 cards (birthday, holiday, and special event) - want

16. 10 gift bags - want

17. 3 pieces of luggage – need, when traveling (but not that many)

18. Bb trumpet (with cleaning kit) - want

19. 6 posters - want

20. 4 yearbooks - want

21. Misc. business and personal documents and papers – need because security

22. Napkins, toilet paper, tissue, paper towels - want

23. Toolkit (ex: screwdriver) - need

24. Business cards - want

[The home that I live in has the following appliances]

25. 2 full bathrooms

26. 1 half bathroom

27. Dishwasher

28. Kitchen

29. Washer and Dryer

30. 2 Refrigerators

I took this assignment very seriously. I made it personal. I was on a quest to understand how much I take things for granted. Today, there are places in the world where people will sacrifice their lives for a portion of what I have in my possession to be given to their family. If you’re reading this, the same probably goes for you too. We have the agency to contest damaging things that linger in our cultures, like consumerism. Somehow, one of the cultures I belong to enforced the idea that Nike, Adidas, Toshiba, Suave, Bath and Body Works, and other “brand name” companies deserve my loyalty.  What I love about this assignment -at least at this moment- is: I’m questioning how and why I have things. Some things I have were given as gifts, while other things were bought at a price that I could’ve bought the same thing, with the same quality, at a fraction of the price. Some are brand new, some are worn. Some things look or feel better than others. But one thing is for sure, most of these things are wants. I don’t need most of this stuff. So, I ask myself: if a fire broke out on the third floor of my home, and I had a few minutes to grab all that I wanted or needed, what would I grab?

Five wants

1. 4 watches – two are gifts, two I bought. I was raised to believe to never believe a man without a watch, because he will not value your time if he doesn’t value his own time. However, a man does not necessarily value time by whether he is wearing a watch. Plus, I can just check my phone, look at clocks, or ask people what time it is.

2. Post-Its and notecards, highlighters, colored pencils – all these things are great to make papers organized and pretty, but they aren’t a need. I can just use pencils and pens to supplement to achieve the same purposes.

3. Bb trumpet (with cleaning kit) – I was a trumpet player from 6 years in grade school. I played in concert, marching, and jazz band. I was gifted with a mid-grade Bb Trumpet from my mother when I hit high school. So now, I keep it for sentimental reasons.

4. Bath & Body Works NOIR Ultra Shea Body Cream – This was a gift

5. 3 deodorant sticks – Most of us wear deodorant to keep our natural smells hidden due to society pressures. Some of us wear it so that we prevent our armpits from producing a lot of sweat. I consider the former a more valid point.

Five needs

1. iPhone 6 with chargers – My iPhone is a need because I need a phone for emergency purposes. For example, I commute to campus. I drive for hours on the freeway super early and super late at night. On the other hand, I don’t need to have such an expensive phone with so many features and instead of multiple chargers, one charger is sufficient.

2. Car (2018 Hyundai Elantra) – Yea, I’m questioning why I bought a new car too. Minor mistake but I’ll be alright. Similar to the iPhone, I do need a car, for car stuff, like transportation. I need my car to run errands, go to school, go to work, and more. But, I could’ve bought a hooptie and went on my mary way.

3. 10 pairs of shoes – I have a decent number of pairs of shoes, but I don’t need these many shoes. I need two pairs of shoes: one pair of sneakers to walk around campus in and one pair of dress shoes for work.

4. Three-in-one Solo Briefcase/Backpack – I can’t carry around all of my books, notebooks, and supplies in my arms all day, and I need these things for my classes during the day, so I need my backpack so that it can hold everything for me as I carry it around comfortably.

5. 12 belts – I do need a couple of belts. One for dress pants for work, and one for a pair of shorts and/or jeans. The rest are extra and not needed.

Please feel free to reply/comment!

[bellarkefanfiction]

For the month of October, Lina got the chance to catch up with @kay-emm-gee, author of Small Favors, The More Things Change, Bedgate and many, many more, which you can find here. 

BFF: Tell us about yourself!

Kayla: Hi, I’m Kayla - twentysomething, from the USA, graduate student in cancer biology. And to keep myself sane from science, I spend a good chunk of my free time watching TV and reading. I adore any type of romance story, and those of the fantasy, sci-fi, and historical genres most of all. And, when I’m too tired to read or write, I’m also an avid knitter! #grandmastatus #proudofit

BFF: When did you start shipping Bellarke?

Kayla: Pretty late compared to most, I think? Not until season 2, even though I loved their dynamic from the beginning. I was intrigued by the idea of shipping them by the end of season 1, but I can’t say I really committed until The Hug^tm from 2x05 (I love that I have to specify which hug now lol) and then they went straight to OTP status from there!

BFF: How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Kayla: Funny enough…I actually wrote fanfiction when I was eight or nine, based on Pony Pals (I was obsessed with horses for many of my younger years), I believe, for a class assignment. So that was technically my start haha – but I guess my first published fanfiction was on FFN for Avatar The Last Airbender, a little piece that was supposed to be a prologue for a longer Zuko/Katara post-series multichapter AU…which I planned out entirely but never wrote (some things never change!). I posted a few other things there (for Smallville, Gossip Girl, The Infernal Devices series) but I was more in a reading stage then and couldn’t get enough of fanfiction (Tempest in A Teacup or Stormbenders, anyone??). I didn’t hit a prolific writing phase until Bellarke! And then the floodgates opened and I couldn’t stop writing, for them or for other ships too.

BFF: Are you a part of any other fandoms?

Kayla: Game of Thrones is something I have gotten into writing for recently, although it’s mostly for rarepair ships, which is strange for me (shameless plug for my sideblog, @winterfellslady). I’m usually very much about the narratively obvious pairings, but the Thrones universe is so expansive that it’s hard not to see so many possibilities. Aside from that, I’ve written here and there for a lot of other fandoms: Teen Wolf, A Court of Thorns & Roses series, From Dusk Till Dawn, The White Princess, The Shannara Chronicles, Reign, & Black Sails.  

BFF: Which of your fics was easiest to write, and why?

Kayla: First one that comes to mind as ‘easiest’ was my Peaky Blinders AU oneshot (Our Glory Days Are Numbered). It was a 3AM fic idea that just would not go away, and so I sat up and wrote it in less than an hour with barely any edits. It was a rare experience of producing something I was super proud of, super quickly. The process is usually much more laborious for me when it comes to fics that I want to stand out. As far as multi-chapters, strangely enough, my first one (Small Favors) was easiest to write? I think it was because I had very concise & defined ideas for each chapter, so it kept it simple and the ideas didn’t run away from me…like they do most times now.

BFF: Which fic did you find most challenging to write?

Kayla: It’s a tie between my modern scientist/lawyer AU i pick my poison (and it’s you) and my modern Sense & Sensibility AU by insensible degrees. The first never sat quite right with me (still doesn’t) because I never felt like the scientist perspective/experience came through smoothly enough. The second was tough because I had to power through writing it in its entirety before posting, which was a resolution for me so I didn’t leave it unfinished, but wow was it difficult. It ended up working, but it took almost a year to write (and honestly, it only got finished because @hawthornewhisperer gave me such good feedback & encouragement along the way so shoutout to her for that!). Even so, it’s probably one of my favorite fics that I’ve ever written.  

BFF: What do you predict will happen in season 5? Especially for our favourite duo?

Kayla: After being separated for six years and not knowing if the other is alive, Bellamy and Clarke are gonna have a lot of baggage to work through. Since I’m always here for the Bellarke Angst, I hope, predict, and expect we’ll get that in boatloads. Also, I don’t necessarily predict this will happen, but I’m interested to see if the Clarke & Madi dynamics mirrors season 1 Bellamy & Octavia at all, and if so, how that plays into Bellamy & Clarke’s dynamic (for better or worse). I’d love to see Bellarke get together on screen, of course, but honestly…I just want them to be each other’s centers again in season 5, that’s really all I ask for!

BFF: Do you have a specific process for your writing?

Kayla: Music is essential – I need thematic/atmospheric music to really get in the groove. Most of my Spotify is playlists for different story ideas actually. Aside from that, nothing too particular. I tend to edit as I go, which isn’t the most effective way to write, but I’m too much of a perfectionist to do proper draft editing.

BFF: Do you have any plans for other fics you’d like to write, if so could you spoil or tease us?

Kayla: Real life has been higher-than-average busy for like a year now, so I can’t find much time to write (and I’m working on Game of Thrones fics when I do find it), but there is one Bellarke fic WIP that is holding my interest right now. It was a request from a follower celebration winner for an Anastasia AU, but I wanted to put a spin on it, so I’m making it steampunk! Honestly, it’s the most inspired I’ve felt for this pairing in ages, which is promising. Here’s hoping the inspiration and motivation stays high!

BFF: What advice would you give novice writers?

Kayla: Keep writing. Even if you hate it now, it’ll make you better. And, later, when you do get better, don’t hate something you wrote early on, especially if you loved it when you wrote it. It’s where you came from, where you started, and it’s proof that practice makes a difference. And while you should mostly write what you want to write, it’s also okay to write for others. Because honestly, sometimes writing something that you definitely know other people will like or love is a safe way to boost your confidence (and get you motivated on stuff that you aren’t sure people will like!). One of the best tricks I’ve come across, and I use it often. Lastly, use a placemarker (like a unique, random combination of letters that you can easily Ctrl+F for) to note in the text when you need to look up a fact or something, and keep writing, instead of trying to find the info at that moment. It’s a useful way to prevent falling down a research hole and instead allows the inspiration and words to keep flowing.

We thank Lina and Kayla both for bringing us such a lovely interview! Please look forward to next month’s author interview!

[laurakinneywrites]

lazy bios;

RAYMOND STINGER; ((surname tbd lmao))

ok he's not actually super developed cos i just made him today but he's mr ray from finding nemo lmao!!!!

obvi like lisa he's an elementary school teacher??? AND IDK HOW IT WORKS IN THE US OF A like i know obviously over here when you have a primary teacher they're your teacher for all lessons? idk if that's the case in america tho i feel like it might not be???? but he's english!!!! and he's a geography major :) he's super duper into geography and travelling and shit!!! 

but when he was like a Teenager he was dead like rock and like thought he was the Bees Knees LMAO like he thought he was SO COOL but he wasn't he was just a massive dork that thought he could start a band but nobody wanted to be in his band cos he's a nerdass so he started this one man band in his garage and held concerts that only his mum and kid sister would go to and he was one of those kids that would try and strap all these diff instruments to himself to make it work LMAO so he had like a keyboard and then he'd blow into his trumpet and strum his guitar and if she was feeling generous he'd get his kid sister to do the *ding* of the triangle or bash some symbols together and he thought he was so rock n roll but he just wasn't LMAO

ANYWAYS in spite of that he's a very talented musician in fairness to him and even tho he had no friends at school and was the big loser he was just rly sweet and nice to everyone???? he just!!! likes people and likes making them smile!!!! he's just a big smiler!!!!!! lmao and at his old school that he taught at they ended up in a bit of a rut where they had no music teacher? so he took on the role to help out while they found someone to fit the position but then they realised just how good he was and how much the kids love him so it kinda stuck and he got back into music and as like oh!!! i missed this!!!!! wow!!!! so now that he's in cherry grove he's like!!! WANNA TEACH THE SMOLS LOVE THE SMOLS THEY'RE SO UPBEAT AND FULL OF WONDER GOD BLESS 'EM!!!!!! and so even tho he majors in geography and excels in music, he teaches everything obvi!!!! 

but geography and music classes are his favs and he loves hyping the kids up? and like where lisa sorta teaches her kiddos and is dead hippy and gives them play times where she feels they deserve it and just plays her guitar and sings to herself while they're working n shit he likes to like?? actually teach lessons with music sometimes??? which is super unconventional maybe but he's got that whole like school of rock vibe where he wants kids to know that they can be anything and that any career is viable and that you don't always have to be academic! or athletic! or musical! or you can be! any of those things!! and that's ok!!! and so he has all the fun w music class especially cos he assigns them all instruments and is like YOU'RE IN THE BAND and lets them explore their talents and if they don't wanna be in the band and play or sing he's like that's cool!!! u wanna manage??? do costumes??? what do u wanna do COS I'M SO ON BOARD!!!!! he's just a really cheery bab lmao i haven't given him any angst (YET?????)

but yeah! and he loves the beach and the ocean and stuff like that obvi cos u know he's based on a stingray so, lmao. and he loves taking kids on field trips omg!!! to the aquarium? CHECK!!! to musicals? CHECK!!!! he's a pacifist and he's not one for arguing but he does like to be assertive and get his way if the principal doesn't want him taking the kids on field trips n stuff but he does it in such a soft and mild way that he sorta convinces them that it's for educational purposes and wins people over with his warm smile ^_^

also i like to picture how he dresses and he def goes to work in like really clipped and expensive looking (but tbh probs scavenged from second hand shops lol) suits that are really prim and proper looking but he loves wearing like suspenders and braces and he never wears a tie (the occasional bow tie IF HE HAS TO but he hates wearing ties) and his hair's always scruffy and messy and his shirt's always crumpled w the top button undone so it's that kind of Look(tm) where he's dressed all smart and suave but Not? so basically like every hot dude at the end of a wedding reception after they've discarded their tie and have danced into the night, except that's his every day Look

DINAH CARROLL:

OK SO she’s a childhood best friend of alice's?? and like when bunny sorta lead alice away they drifted a bit? like they're still /friends/ but dinah's not at all on the drug scene and it's just not the life for her and she doesn't rly venture into that kinda territory at all? so where alice fell into a bad crowd she sorta left dinah behind? and they sorta miss one another terribly and think super highly of one another but maybe they don't necessarily have anything in common anymore and it's kinda sad for them cos they can't seem to fall back into old patterns.

i was thinking that like they both kinda chase after the white rabbit but alice falls down the hole w/o dinah? and i was thinking about how alice sorta idolises bunny and maybe dinah did too but got left behind kinda thang?

cos especially in the book and whatnot alice and dinah follow white rabbit and alice falls down the rabbit hole after him!!! but leaves dinah behind!!! and she spends all her time in wonderland talking about dinah and how much she misses her, and there’s a part about where alice talks about how everyone in wonderland hates dinah but she thinks she’s the best cat in the world, so essentially alice and dinah (in the rp) are best friends and alice goes down her route with bunny and dinah feels a little left behind and alone. but she never stops loving and missing alice? and vice versa? alice still thinks highly of her and though her new friends don’t necessarily think very highly of dinah or even like her in the slightest bit, she’ll defend her relentlessly even when they aren’t still talking/hanging out/etc

but i was thinking about like cats and their agility and their love of climbing and stuff!! and i was thinking of making her like really into things like rock climbing and abseiling and shit????? and like free running/parkour n stuff lol.

and she can be soft and affectionate and ^____^ like all cats but she can hold her own and she's got a bitta bite in her too ya know?? like a soft lil feminist kitty. and naturally she Loves Cats lol. and she's scared of dogs? i was thinking about how alice like proudly tells people about how dinah's v good at hunting and catching her dinner (ie mice and stuff?) and thought maybe my dinah could be like into archery or smth? not /actually/ hunting but she's a dab hand w a bow and arrow maybe or smth.

also she's like tomboyish and girly at the same time? so she loves a good flower crown and prettying herself up but she's not afraid of getting herself all roughed up and dirty and looking scruffy? and she likes playing around w her image and just trying new things and dyeing her hair and doing as she pleases :3

she's not necessarily good with kids? not so much that she dislikes them, cos she doesn't, but she's not rly used to altering herself or her behaviour to suit others? like she is who she is with everyone? so around kids sometimes she forgets that she can't just be blunt if it suits her or sarcastic or w/e and that she's gotta be a lil bit softer and sorta adapt and stuff

idk her sexuality just yet but she’s very much into girls and guys and loves kissing pretty girls and has never had a Real or Serious relationship cos most people don’t take her seriously which is okay!!! she’s just coasting through life but once she develops a crush her lil heart is all aflutter and she’s got a bad habit of crushing on girls who won’t like her back and it makes her a bit Sad

her parents own a donut shop called the rabbit hole

she has two sisters named caroline and edith (one older, one younger!) and a little brother named albert

she has two bunnies and a cat! her cat is literally named kitten because she’s unoriginal, and she has a white rabbit named white rabbit (cos unoriginal), and another white rabbit named snowdrop (cos dinah’s kids were named snowdrop and kitten lol)

MOHINDER PATEL; 

okay!!!! so mo!!!!! his backstory is a bit topsy turvy til i develop it in its entirety cos i wanna make sure it's all solid lmao but.

BASICALLY mohinder's parents were explorers and stuff? and they travelled the world with mo at their side? they were archaeologists for the most part, but before they set off travelling, ever before they had mo, his father was a professor and his mother was a veterinarian. :) anyways!!!! one day they were travelling and mo was only about 3? they got into a boating accident. they were travelling along the river and the current grew stronger than they'd anticipated, and they crashed into the bank. mo's father was driving and he passed away on impact, but his mother crowded over mo's body, shielding him in an attempt to save him from harm? obviously distraught and terrified, she wanted to stay and mourn her husband but her priority was getting mo to safety, and so she bundled him into her arms and ran to find help. they were stranded alone in a jungle though with no sign of civilisation and she was certain there was no hope until she eventually ran into a small clearing that essentially resembled a tiny village? there weren't many inhabitants but they were willing to help and they took them in, took care of mo, and tried to nurse his mum back to health. sadly she died tho from her injuries as she'd been so shocked and eager to help mo she hadn't taken any notice of how severe her own injuries were. 

anyways mo eventually was integrated into this tiny band of people, and lived his life in this jungle, growing up surrounded by the people who saved him. there were only about 20 of them, and they were all men. there were no women and so the only woman that mo ever truly knew was his mother, who he lost far too young? he still has little reminders of his parents, things they scavenged from their bodies/the boat/etc, but not much memory of them.

anyway he grew up in this sorta deserted jungle and had no real basis of human interaction cos he didn't know anybody out of that circle? he was surrounded by nature and animals more often than he was people, and for the first few years of his life there he barely spoke a word, only really opening up around age 6 or 7, finally finding the courage to speak, though still a boy of few words.

he was taught to hunt and defend himself as they weren't near any sort of real town and they didn't have things like tvs or basic coking utensils even? so they had to hunt and fight for their food. mo /hated/ it. he learned archery from a young age and became exceptionally skilled, but he never liked to kill for his food as it didn't feel right. so when he was a little older he started trying to find new ways to feed himself through plants and stuff? he wasn't very clever though so a lot of plants that he picked and whatnot were really dangerous and he got really poorly for a while and was kinda scolded for it and had to revert back to the ways he was taught.

he's a scrappy fighter even though he can stand up for himself and fight there's nothing clean or proper or educated about his techniques in fighting cos it's all based on the hunting and everything hes had to do to stay alive??? so he's a proper savage if he's ever in a fight lmao

he loves animals so much though? he doesn't wanna hurt them cos when you grow up with mostly animals for company they become your family and he works to protect them, not harm them??? he used to put himself in danger a lot by going days w/o eating cos he would just refuse to kill for his food.

he doesn't rly know how to harness and express his emotions cos he's never been taught real, human behaviour? he's never had any basis to learn from either. so he's got no concept of social norms and ordinary behaviour?

he spent all his life just like climbing trees and swinging from branches w the monkeys and drinking from the lakes w elephants and integrating himself w the animals rather than the few humans he Did know?

when he was 15 their little 'village' if u will was raided and uncovered??? and essentially i've not like delved too far into this aspect but bc it was kinda an uncivilised and unethical way of living they were all brought back to civilisation and The Real World, but mo especially bc he was so young he was put into foster care by the system? given this new life and stuff. they tried to track his parents family based on the lil bits he Did have but to no avail.

he was thrown into this big scary world that he didn't understand with cars and boats and plains and television and aksjdlkasjd it was kinda scary for him cos he Knew Of these things but he'd never rly been in big cities surrounded by skyscrapers and stuff? and now that he's that bit older he's growing and learning things but it's still scary. foster families were always sending him back into the system cos they didn't want him? they didn't wanna deal w him and his tantrums and his way of life. he's always walking around barefoot w/o a t-shirt on and raking mud through the house and doing as he pleases and eating w his hands and has no manners or anything aklsjdkalsjd

he's still really into archery and now that he's a bit older and integrated into society he knows what like veganism is and stuff? so he shoots and stuff but never Hunts? and he's a strict vegan just bc that's what He wants and stuff? but he's not like preachy or anything like when people ask him Why he's like 'i don't like tearing animals limb for limb' and they're like UH???? ME NEITHER???? U GOOD????????? lmao but.

anyways!!!!!! being in the real world was scary and he'd never seen a girl before (aside from his mum) SO EMOTIONS RAN HIGH AND WERE CONFUSING AND!!!!!!! so he was just like ok!!!! SCARY!!! but nobody would ever go near him cos they thought he was rabid or some sort of wild animal and they were kinda frightened of him and people picked on him and he was treated like a weirdo to the point he was pulled from school and underwent like private classes and stuff. which for him was kinda weird and confusing cos he was once again being taken away from like civilisation and people after getting used to it to a degree? but yup.

he's quite playful and carefree but he's dead stubborn? dead mischievous and likes playing tricks on people but that requires having friends to trick lmao. and he's got a bit of a temper and can be easily stressed out and gets dead anxious and nervous in loud and crowded spaces sometimes? like really claustrophobic. he's so used to following his own rules too sometimes it's hard to adapt and he attaches himself to soft people who don't treat him like smth of a pariah and don't cringe away from him but he never rly meets people like that so it's not easy???

but the basic human kindness shown to him and he'll attach himself to you and he gets really overprotective and if he sees someone messing with someone he cares for he just Loses His Shit? like he's got a temper and he's not been taught to reign it in and he hates cruel people?? so one time for example he had a foster dad who was abusive and he straight up attacked him and punched him in the face in defence of himself and his foster siblings and he was sent back into the system for it even tho he thought he was doing the right thing? he's tamed to an extent and learned since but he's still a bit wild u know?? one step at a time and all that

but he loves singing at the top of his lungs no matter how bad and dancing barefoot through the woods and doing as he pleases and he's found music really calming so when he was first introduced to like, an ipod and earphones and stuff it was such a marvel for him and he found that just plugging earphones in helps him quiet all the other sounds and calm him down :)

he wants to explore and travel some day just like his parents did cos he does sorta miss the wild and stuff but he doesn't think he's got the social etiquette or common sense of even the intelligence to ever make smth of himself cos of the life he's lead

anyways he's now in cherry grove? essentially he was tracked down by his parents family and he's just been moved to cg to live with his aunt and her husband and it's all scary cos they're Family but he doesn't Know Them and he's in a new place with new people and ahhh!!!! SCARY BIG WORLD !!!! so ya lol there's more on him but my hands are cramping up if we're being honest

[telaraneas]

So I plan on writing a session but I’m having trouble understanding some classes. Can you classpect analyze a bard of light, sylph of time, knight of breath, seer of void or witch of space? Thanks if you do!!!

OH THATS INTERESTING... hmm i know i say this a lot but the way i see classes, they're descriptive and not predictive- i've never written a session so take this with a grain of salt, but my advice would actually be to start writing the story itself first until you can kind of get a feel for how the characters bounce off each other and what the narrative turns out like, and start assigning classes and aspects based on what feels right, and what will probably happen is that you'll end up at a place where the story/characters and the classpects you've assigned them can feed off each other to strenghten themselves (unless you're already doing that and you're just in the process of figuring out what classes fit best, in which case, ignore this paragraph sjfnksjfj)

IN ANY CASE HAVE SOME ASSORTED THOUGHTS ON THOSE CLASSPECTS

(warning written 2 hours later: i actually have no idea if any of this is useful or coherent or will help you figure anything out. i think i lost track of what i was supposed to be helping with. but it sure made me want to read a hypothetical session with these kinds of people skdnekd)

BARD OF LIGHT: hmm i will be honest with you here, i am still having a hard time really grasping what exactly it means to be a bard?? i THOUGHT i had a handle on it but on rereads ive realized i actually have very little clue of how to reconcile gamzee's classpect with the weird fuckin deus ex clown role he has. so i dont feel very confident in my handle on bards in general right now jsjdks so take this one with a massive grain of salt

having a light player who's a bard certainly sounds like it makes for an INTERESTING story... if light is certainty and fate and Things We Know For Sure Definitely Gotta Happen, Because. then a bard of light might be the kind of person who just. dunks the session into void most of the time skdnskdn. i dont know if you mean for these classes to be all the people in a single session, but i kind of hope it is because theres real potential for INTERESTING DYNAMICS between a bard of light and a seer of void... this might very well be a Blind Leading The Blind kind of situation, like, maybe the bard was in charge of the instructions or something but then they lost it or something- SOMETHING might have happened that might have led the players to just have to figure shit out on their own. and yet, the bard of light would still probably be the person with most of a vague grasp on how things will turn out in the end, for one reason or another

like i said i'm just spitballing here, this might not be useful to you at all skfnksnd

SYLPH OF TIME: so, i think sylphs are in charge of bringing their aspect into existance in the context of the story, often, whether literally or figuratively, and they will be concerned with mantaining its "health" and stability. and frankly this sounds like it could be really good news on the time front, because to me having the time player be a sylph kind of indicates that however things go wrong, they'll proooobably end up fine?? at the very least, if things go wrong timelinewise it probably wont be the actual time player's fault lol but then again, having a person so OVERLY concerned with this might also not necessarily be a good thing??? with time's Thing with missing the forest for the trees and not stopping to smell the flowers, if no one is around to stop them they might get stuck in a mindset of doing things only as a means to an end without an intrinsic motivation or reason other than it being a foregone conclusion... really theres just a lot of different ways someone could be a sylph of time actually!! this really is the sort of thing that depends on what circumstances they're up against and what the rest of the players in their session are like, hmm.

with how wishy-washy and whimsical some of the other classpects seem to end up implying the session to be, this player may end up frustrated lol...

KNIGHT OF BREATH: ohoho this person has the potential to be the universe's favorite punchline sjfnekd... breath really does strike me personally as a matter of narrative contrivance and things falling into place just when they need to... and knights tend to be marked by 1. having to be very active and pulling everyone's shit together for things to succeed, and 2. really not necessarily liking their aspect very much all things considered, after being dragged around by their need to wield it for the whole session...

so theres really fun potential here for the knight of breath being everyone's knight in shining armor who shows up at the nick of time to save the day, figuratively or literally, and yet just. spending the entire time mostly confused and annoyed that they don't really know what the hell is going on or what they're supposed to be doing skfnekjr... gotta wonder if a dandelion blowing in the wind is having fun or not.... obv theres other less literal ways for this classpect to manifest but personally when i saw knight of breath i just started giggling and im sorry sjdbje

SEER OF VOID: oh there are so many different ways to take this one. like i mentioned, a session with a bard of light and a seer of void kind of sounds real fun just conceptually- but i actually have no clue how exactly this would work for a seer; seers do very literally See Things, but more importantly i think they search and find. they're drawn to their aspect naturally and their aspect is drawn to them too, i feel. it's an Awareness and Understanding that allows them to be able to direct others and spread their aspect as required.

i think in general since being void aspect means being ruled by the unknown and the undefined and The Way Things Happen In Real Life, Where They Just Kinda Happen, a seer of void may be the very best person to keep their head on straight and roll with the punches of a session where certainty itself has become uncertain, and thrive in that enviroment and thus help their fellow players embrace the unknown as well

alternatively, you could read it another way as them literally being able to see and understand absence, thus making them easily able to tell when they're wasting effort on dead ends, etc

WITCH OF SPACE: ironically enough even though this is literally the same classpect as one of the main characters, i'm having the hardest time grasping it lol... i don't Get witches just yet, i'm sorry i'll get back to you on this one later if i can think of something useful to say about it.......

[oldmancopper]

2018 Spring Evaluations

The good and the bad, lol: GAME 2001  (only taught one week, so minimal reviews)

•             While i definitely learned a lot, it felt like a majority of different small lessons rather than one buildup. On the note of disjointed lessons that felt out of place, i feel that Y______'s presentation in class was considerably less professional than the other professors. He talked about his firing at Turbine, and how many others he'd already fired before his own termination. It felt shallow and bitter. Videos were shown of himself doing well in video games, but combined with the above topic repeatedly gone over, it felt egotistical and loosely tied into the topic he was teaching at best.

GAME 3900

(None)

GAME 3175

•             Walt's anecdotes and industry stories are possibly more helpful than even the class material. Always a pleasure.

GAME 2175

•             This course is very well structured and I enjoyed it •             I loved this class. My only complaint is that the full class assignments where my grade is dependent on everyone in my class to do work is ridiculous. This is unfair to the students who do their work. •             I want to flat out thank you for being such an incredible teacher in the past couple years. I feel guilty for having reached the personal conclusion about my career path --game development isn't something for me. Yet I still hold in dear in my heart and have continued to learn as much as I could before moving onto the next stage of my life. I will use the great knowledge you've taught me in other aspects of life, especially within interpersonal business relationships and just general social managing. I can without a doubt say that you are one of the reasons why Princeton agrees that at its core Becker actually has some great knowledge and skill in game design and development. In objective review of the class' structure reflected against the information received over the course's duration, I would have to say the quizzes and the book integration were the weakest aspects. I felt as though I truly understood the material, given by the high scoring homework which proved little challenge to me, yet I struggled to retain the knowledge required by the quizzes. Although the application of the skills learned proved perfected, the retention of supposed key details was not strong. In addition, I did not feel it necessary to obtain the knowledge within the course literature, whether intentional or not (because who wants to pay for books these days). Personally, I cannot retain enough attention in order to utilize written material under forced circumstances, and I can feel this is simply a trend within modern generations. One replacement to a single, outdated albeit useful data source is a weekly/monthly article system. These articles serve as an addition to lecture outside of class by linking topical themes with current events/news, providing relatable meaning for a wider audience. I wouldn't want to say this will necessarily give you more work to correct and return, but you could either require a quick paragraph summary of the article through a Canvas text box (which will take you, like, 5 minutes to read) or have an in class assignment where everyone gives one question and one comment. Like you'd go around the room in some order and everyone would take their turn to provide those to the class, in the sense of a class discussion. These weak points could be due to many factors, and I do not want to essentially claim your teaching method to be err; I only wish to provide my user experience in hopes to better future iterations of the course. I know you of all people understand that. Cheers, and a blessed 2018! •             This was a particularly eye opening course if you ask me, and I'm glad that any regards towards the industry and the way it functions wasn't obscured or 'glamored' to be something it wasn't. Professor Y_________ was particularly truthful with us on the way it functions, which if you ask me has better prepared us for the job market we'll eventually be entering. Beyond that though, understanding and learning about production methods in this class showed its usage since you can apply the majority of what you learn here to game studio or any game studio, allowing you to see where there are currently fall backs from a production stand point and how you can properly revise the current methodology to correct such fall backs. Additionally I appreciate that the lectures given after notes are decided as a whole by the class through voting, allowing the class to 'plan the course of direction' so to speak for those lectures and generally allowing us to gain some sage advice whether it be in production methods, or if it's even just life advice that's typically applicable in a work environment or even outside it. •             I thought the assignments, lectures, and readings were all very helpful and well planned, though I thought it should've been a bit more clear how the game we first pitched will be used for all the future assignments in case we accidentally pitch a game that will give us trouble with everything we have to manage about it later. •             Good professor, wants students to succeed and be prepared for a real job environment. But difficult assignments and quiz/test, quizzes have trick answers. •             More small group assignments would help the stragglers understand some certain things more. •             This man knows what he's doing and teaches the course in an extremely interesting manner. •             Old pro game manager teaches class on the reality of what is expected in the game industry. 10/10.

GAME 3901

•             Live Studio is well structured and (in my opinion) the best class at Becker. •             Please let incoming/current freshman take this course instead of ______. The experience is so incredibly invaluable, you'd be robbing them to not let them take Live Studio instead. •             It is a shame that the course requirements were changed to punish those who are taking a minor or extra classes. No matter what happens, Live Studio is objectively a more useful class and changing the requirements to force more talented students into it is a mistake. Walt and Monty will always manage their class better than in Game Studio, fortunately I was lucky enough to get onto a Greenlit studio, but my opinion still remains. I learned so many useful things in Live, worked with an amazing team, and got full-hands on experience that I doubt I will get in _________. •             Please let incoming/current freshman take this course instead of __________. The experience is so incredibly invaluable, you'd be robbing them to not let them take Live Studio instead. •             Thank you guys for such a wonderful opportunity. I really do wish we could expand the scope of the games we are working on, but I understand you guys want to give variety to the resumes of everyone who comes out of Live. Quality over quantity, I assure you! After learning of the production methods from Walt's Life Cycles class, I am eager to see a project of larger organization size and structure. Allowing students to fill the roles in a tiered system similar to a genuine AA or AAA game development company would allow the students to attain experience, knowledge, and skill through a simulated job/internship platform. Then again, I assume that is what SIP is for haha...]

.... calculating....

[the-calm-before-thestorm]

4.11.2018, 12:25 am (florence time).

Been feeling strangely apathetic the past few days. I’m not really sure exactly how to explain how I’ve been feeling - sort of as if I’m just going through the motions really? Of course, every day is different, and comes with its own interactions and frustrations and good moments. For some reason though, I just don’t really feel like myself. I feel like I need another day of self-reflection and of leisure, but I am unwilling to devote an entire day (that could be spent being productive!) to play.

Maybe that’s the problem?? I’m overworking myself? If i’m not doing homework I’m thinking about homework (lol), and if I’m not doing that I’m wasting my time on my phone - social media, 1010, reading articles from twitter, tagging friends in memes on facebook.

I’m excited for the weekend in Amsterdam - I think it is going to be a very transformative experience in terms of not only the extreme liberalness of the entire city, but also just being able to get away and see friends I haven’t seen in awhile (and jack!)

Maybe I just need to exercise?? Or have a deep conversation with someone? Or devote some time to individual hobbies interests (such as journaling? lol.) I met with my Italian Grand Tour (literature) teacher today about my paper, because I’m relentlessly overthinking everything, and she asked me what my major was - i told her fashion merchandising, we both laughed, and she said “because you’re quite good at this whole thing” (and by thing i guess she means analyzing themes/literature??). I appreciated the compliment, and I think she appreciated my earnestness, but it must be a difference between Italian and American professors. I feel like American professors like it when you meet with them after and ask questions and engage further. Not that she didn’t like meeting with me necessarily - I just think she was more surprised at my need to meet to proofread before turning it in. Or maybe it’s because she’s taught primarily at study-abroad schools, where her students aren’t nearly as annoying or tryhard-like as I am.

Maybe I’m just in a rut?? Listening to the same songs, going to the same cafes, wearing the same outfits, hanging out with the same people. I’ve been consciously trying my best to step out of my comfort zone and go to new places and walk new routes around the city and sample new foods - but for some reason, I’m feeling bizarre. Not stifled, exactly...just weird?? Not even really tired or angry or anything. Just kind of ...off.

I feel like I’m usually a pretty happy, passionate person who cares way too much about everything that’s going on, whether it affects me or not (for some reason, if I’m invested enough, I’ll always care far too much about something even if it doesn’t concern me lol). Maybe I need a break of just not doing productive things and just relax (like laur tried valiantly to make me do yesterday to no avail??) 

Maybe I just need to exercise 😂I feel like so much clarity is achieved after a nice sweat session, a nice hard workout, a nice long run. We’re abroad to grow and live and enjoy and thrive, and right now I’m not sure if I’m doing any of these things. Even right now as I’m typing this I have the impending doom of assignments and tests, which are still weeks away!!

This weekend will be good for me. I need to spend a collective 3 days not worrying about work and having a good time 😂

I feel like maybe everyone else is having a better, more fulfilling experience than I am? Not that I haven’t learned SO many thing or grown or done so many exciting things - just maybe I haven’t made so many fulfilling relationships? I just don’t want my happiness to be dependent on others - I want to be able to, at the end of the day, make myself happy. Of course, to some extent others play a role in one’s individual happiness; however, at the end of the day I think you should be able to be happy with just yourself and embrace yourself wholeheartedly.

Maybe I just need to take an hour to walk around (or run) with earphones in and think and ruminate. I remember one day in class we asked our philosophy professor what he did over the weekend, and he replied simply “I thought...some weekends, I’ll spend a good eight hours just thinking about things.” Maybe I need to just ruminate about life. 

I think I just need to journal more in general. I always have glimmers of such interesting things that I would love to go into more detail about in writing - but the moment passes to quickly and I forget.

I’m such a planner, such an organizer, a cleaner, a do-aheader, a type-A person if I’ve ever seen one. I really just think I need to relax and take it easy loll. #selfcare