#this was actually. so much fun I never enjoy more realistic/study stuff but this was!! rly fun I Cannot stop laughing looking at his eyes

[3amsnek]

birthday bastard boy!!! went in a completely different direction this time with my annual Jim Appreciation Art and had a blast painting him with some fun brushes :3 love my strange lil son

click for better quality

reblogs >> likes!!

[average-mako-enjoyer]

Or Mordin (for the character ask) since we're having Mordin feels this morning.

From the character ask game.

This is very, very interesting, thank you! Finally, I have a chance to talk about him.

Favorite thing about them He's one of The Characters. One of my top 3.

He's so complex, so morally ambiguous, so intelligent and yet so short-sighted at times.

He heals and he kills, but not with medicine.

He has to see the results of his actions for himself, to see with his own eyes the people whose lives he has impacted.

He's passionate, he's asexual, he's ruthless, he's one of the most compassionate people you'll ever meet.

He's everything at once.

Love him, love him, love him. Least favorite thing about them Don't get me wrong, I like his redemption arc, but it feels half-baked and toothless to me.

He's the best damn character in ME2, and I feel that ME3 kinda forgets how badass he actually is. So he takes a back seat in his own ME3 story until the final climactic moment and that's it.

I think this is the only instance where making completely atrocious renegade choices (killing or betraying Wrex, killing Maelon, destroying his data and thus killing Bakara, and pushing Mordin to sabotage the cure) feels more rewarding because it has the same moral ambiguity that is an essential part of Mordin's character. Favorite line "Life is a negotiation. We all want. We all give to get what we want."

"No tests on species with members capable of calculus. Simple rule, never broke it."

"Hard to see big picture behind pile of corpses." brOTP Bakara, obviously.

I think their relationship is incredible. It's based on mutual respect and care, and I think it's one of the rare cases where Mordin doesn't just see her as a patient or a curious piece of research, but as a person, and that person interests him as much as her genetics and physiological reactions. OTP I've seen someone suggesting Aria/Mordin, and yes, this sounds like FUN.

But realistically? Mordin/Immortality. Just give my man all the time in the universe so he can continue his studies.

I think he would have been fascinated by the post-control ending Shepard. nOTP Mordin/Shep.

I've seen some cute art, but… how about no? He's clearly not interested in romance or fucking, leave him be. Random headcanon He's also a painter and he does abstract art with names like "The Presumption of Anger p.3", and you look at it and it's just a long vertical black line on a purple background. And he's very serious about this stuff. Unpopular opinion I don't think it's that unpopular, but Gilbert and Sullivan plus the seashells quote did some irreparable damage to his image in the eyes of the fandom.

Yeah, the games portray him as this quirky, babbling genius. Oh, he tests biological weapons, but not on the crew, of course not, why are you so nervous, Joker? But that's just the surface.

There's so much to Mordin behind his mannerisms and behind his sweet relationship with Bakara. There's really so much darkness in him. And all that just gets ignored, and it's so shitty?

He gets babyfied a lot, and considering the fact that he's also a positive autistic+ADHD rep in these games, it's a little insulting tbh. Song i associate with them I don't really have one, but in the spirit of pulling random indie music recommendations out of my ass, I think he would've enjoyed the sheer ridiculousness of Hydrogenuine by USS Favorite picture of them This one.

[nymph-ette111]

I’m happy to know you enjoy our interactions too and that you liked my little tangent there. I’m glad that you searched for accounts from actual people who have the disorder rather than pseudo-psychologists, because they are often the harshest without a shred of accuracy (just the way they talk about the narcissist’s eyes turning a demonic black is enough to make me exit the article).

To be fair, Quora is one of the worst places when it comes to accepting people with npd. So I’m glad you managed to find something that didn’t conclude in a pro-eugenics rant lead by a divorced dad who is certain his ex wife is a narcissist because she took the kids. And since I chose my first paper this school year to be about npd and gender (we could write about anything, it was to test our abilities in general), I had to go through a ton of those. They ranged from absolutely hilarious to restraining order worthy. Thankfully Google Scholar saved me from that (though I would never suggest reading studies upon studies on a topic for x reader headcanons, I’m only saying this to sort of validate where my understanding of it came from). Since, yk, it’s a relatively fresh thing (recognised since the 80s I believe) and the fact that I had a therapist who diagnosed me correctly and knew how to approach it is pure luck

Also just any dog metaphor is delightful but it fits so well with Toby too?? Like, it just feels so right when people do that. And I can genuinely see Jeff having some npd traits, good call^^

Ben is just so!!! He’s awful in the best way. I want to kiss him and also put him in a blender for fun :3 i want to drive him insane. And also hold hands maybe. Like, yeah, realistically I would lose my sanity if he liked me but he’s so fun

Also yeah, that’s why I like your blog so much. You don’t shy away from making them hard to be around, hurt, mean. All kinds of messed up but also fun to read about. That’s why I also said that they would probably have an easy time with hurting me mentally, bc if they were aware of just how paranoid I am they would absolutely do what I did in that friend example, only 10 times worse (like, specifically saying stuff they know gets a reaction out of me to force me to stay or do whatever). In all honesty, this might be just why I like creepypasta characters (especially this specific portrayal of them). I mean, it does fit into that type of ‚pleople may be nice but they are out to get you at all times so you need to act to survive’. It’s kind of a safe way to experience something that is both natural to me and also absolutely unsafe irl. Like, yeah, I would have to walk on eggshells to be with Toby but also that is the way I see any sort of relationship either way. Sometimes, I’m more uncomfortable with the pure fluff bc that feels fake and unnatural. On that note, Toby to me is so untreated-bpd coded

-⭐︎

Agreed Ben is so fucking stupid I want to gnaw on him and push him down the stairs, what a silly fella. You don't know how happy it made me when you said you liked my blog :') when I shared my first post I thought it wouldn't get any attention, and I would just end up deleting the blog all together so hearing someone actually enjoys these little headcanons I make about fictional serial killers is so nice <3

you said everything so perfectly I have nothing to add, and yes toby is fucking miserable any disorder he has is 100% untreated and yes I love him and yes I want him and—

[ozwuv]

I would like to draw more but I find myself overthinking it and then losing motivation. So, I was wondering if you ever had a similar issue and if so what do you do to stay motivated and not overthink?

Really good question actually!

What nipped the overthinking for me was just completely dropping the planning stage of drawing. I don't put much thought into composition, colors, etc. I don't have any solid ideas of how I want things to look before I begin. Obligatory disclaimer that this is from my perspective as a hobbyist and therefore not practical for an aspiring professional, & this is gonna sound like BS but hear me out lol

Most of the time the only things I have in mind are 1. What character(s) I want to draw and 2. A vague idea of the atmosphere I want the finished product to convey. And "finished" can mean a lot of things -- a messy sketch can be finished, a fully rendered piece I spent an entire day could be finished. A common pitfall people fall into is having an impractically rigid idea of what a "finished" drawing is and subsequently what they want their art to look like, all the bells and whistles etc, when realistically your art is never going to look exactly how it did in your head. But is that really such a bad thing?

I guess the overarching concept is to just fall in love with the process and enjoy the journey rather than the destination. This obviously sounds easier than it is in reality, but imo people focus way too hard on what they're producing rather than how and why they're producing it. Other people loving what you draw and praising it is wonderful, but if you don't enjoy the process, what was the point? Drawing (and I would venture to say most other forms of art in general) becomes a chore with that mindset applied.

A lack of planning may very well mean you wind up drawing a lot of stuff that doesn't seem interesting, maybe haphazard, difficult to parse, etc, but this is all your perception. It's cliché, but there is always going to someone out there that adores something you think looks like a dumpster fire, and that applies to the things you draw too. Over time, just doing whatever you want and enjoying the process has this trickle effect that will improve your output. In the same vein, constantly overthinking will also inevitably trickles into your output. You can often tell when someone enjoyed the process of something they drew vs when it was just a slog for them to get through (at least relative to their other works).

I would venture to say that you could spend your entire life studying and could be the most technically knowledgeable person about illustration ever in the world, but if you don't genuinely love the process, your work will never be as good as it could be if you did.

If you finish something and think it looks like shit that's always a bummer, but if you had fun with it, I think that was time worth spending. I've said this before, but most of the time I only truly dislike something I've drawn when I spent any part of the process frustrated with how it was going. It's counterintuitive, but I really think that placing so much emphasis in how you want the finished product to look is what ultimately is going to make it look like shit to you.

All that being said, once you do get past that initial overthinking phase, you can start to get more specific with planning and whatnot. The key is to just stop holding onto the idea of what you want and allowing things to develop as you go. Your art will naturally improve this way since you're actually enjoying it. To me, that's what people mean when they say they can tell something was made with love.

Side note: Let go of the need to be consistent/have a developed style. Just let yourself be inconsistent. You don't need strict consistency unless you're like an animator who needs to keep characters on-model or something. Experimenting is not only way more fun, but leads to improvement and discovering new things to implement into your process/style at large.

Tl;dr just get a lil silly w it :3c

[puphoods]

claire from the start of the year vs end btw. :)

i think ive improved a lot but on small things... i think im better at drawing bodies + have a better understanding of where things go when i draw a person(/whatever)... i think the way i draw faces is better but i really need to improve on how to draw mouths + different expressions its something i dont have a good understanding on. i dont think ive improved much with colours which is another weak point of mine that i struggle with a lot. i think my lines look more confident and purposeful and i think im better at at least trying to draw things im not confident in rather than avoiding it or drawing around it as a copout. umm what else... i feel like ive gotten better at drawing hair. realising i much more enjoy making it look more realistic + that i enjoy my art looking more realistic (comparatively) in general so i want to work on that but also work on exaggerating shapes and poses and lines etc. etc.

some things i want to try and focus on next year... that stuff i already mentioned ofcourse but also really need to buckle down and focus on learning to use colour better. i want to figure out a colouring style i enjoy more as well bc i dont really enjoy the way i do it Or how it looks rn. i also want to try drawing different perspectives and more interesting looking + dynamic poses and art pieces in general. id also like to start focusing on drawing things that arent just characters as i would enjoy being able to do things like backgrounds props scenes etc. sometimes. i also really need to figure out how to draw multiple characters interacting + touching etc. and how to make it look natural/good bc it always looks stiff and awkward

i would also love to try drawing with different styles and methods (ie painting/rendering things sometimes stuff like that) bc the times i do try out different styles i enjoy it :) i need to do style studies. i also need to look at some tutorials or whatever for different digital art methods like painting which i dont really enjoy bc i can never seem to find any that i like

and i need to remember to have fun with it... i always end up trying to draw so people will think its good rather than because im enjoying it and i really need to focus on that again. and i want to draw More which i say all the time but i really do as ive said i dont draw much more than gets posted but even if i do sketches or practice more often would mean a lot to me. i really have in the last little while been much more motivated to actually start creating some of my stories that i have and while i think im still a long way away from being in a position where i would feel confident starting i want to start doing things that are pushing me in the right direction and alot of this here is doing that (along with practice writing and stuff but thats a big different thing). well i dont know what else to say. goodbye

[vergess]

Curious question, how many Sherlock Holmes adaptations have you watched? Also, if you watched several , which one is your favorite?

Well, setting aside the Great Mouse Detective because it's unfair to compare other adaptations to something I loved as a child and thus can only view with perfect adoration in spite of any actual truths.

I am a tumblr user of repute, so I've of course seen the BBC's Sherlock. I think that A Study in Pink is the best episode in the show because the editing and cinematography are outstanding and serve the story beautifully. The writing is mediocre but competently sets expectations for the quality of the rest of the show. Then the second episode is so shockingly racist. So overall, it's bad, but influential in fandom whether we want it to be or not. I enjoyed it at the time, but as a more... like. Informed adult? It's bad. Don't bother.

A Study in Emerald. Short story by Neil Gaiman. Barely constitutes an adaptation, but we deserve to be reminded of good writing after that last one. It's available for free on Mr Gaiman's website, here:

Apparently there's a graphic novel version of Emerald, but I've not read it. Unless the graphic novel is just the fake newspaper on the website? Wikipedia was somewhat unclear.

Downey Jr movies: I love them. Absolutely horrible adaptations, but fucking amazing films. More fun than you're expecting. Highly recommended.

Elementary: Probably the best modern adaptation. Captures the serial spirit and commitment to Solving Mysteries Realistically of the original. However, I cannot watch it. The lead actor's performance is basically perfect for 'what would the Holmes character be like today' but I cannot stand it for some reason. I haaaaate watching him, and that makes this one hard for me. I recommend it highly anyway.

I watched two of the Basil Rathbone films to the point of nausea as a kid, but over exposure to the Worst Kinds Of White People in high school discussions of his body of films left a bitter taste for me. Because these films were an adaptation for an audience MUCH closer to the audience of the original stories, there is a period and character authenticity that just cannot be matched by anything else. Honestly, if you only ever watch one adaptation, it should be one of these. I say that in spite of these movies attracting the worst people on earth. There's a reason the 'generic' image of Holmes looks that way, and it's Basil Rathbone.

I've only seen the Peter Cushing movie, not the show. But, he's very much the performance I imagine in my head when reading the stories these days. My favourite live action Holmes actor, and a really top tier Watson. Definitely worth the time. I'm told the show is, um. Not so good on the Watson front.

I didn't like The Private Life of Holmes. I thought it sucked. I have no redeeming statements for it. It's objectively better that the 2010 BBC show, but I have nostalgia for that one's fandom. I just hate this one. It's bad!! Watch anything else. Watch the Great Mouse Detective, it has the same plot but it doesn't suck.

Young Sherlock Holmes is also a bad movie, but it's a bad Pixar Kids Movie so it's still perfectly competent for what it wants to be. If you need something to give a Holmes loving kid under 12 has 'seen them all' give them this. It's forgettable, and thus kids never really see it anymore.

I haven't seen Enola Holmes yet, but I'll probably get around to it. So I guess that's a tentative recommendation there.

The BBC radio drama Adventures of Holmes and its sequel Further Adventures of Holmes is REALLY FUCKING GOOD. If you like podcasts or audio books or stage plays, you have GOT to try these. The first half is a complete adaptation of every Holmes story, and the second half is professional fanfic of identical quality. I've never tried the American version and don't intend to.

I liked the 3 VHS tapes of the Granada tv series that I watched as a little kid, but I honestly couldn't tell you if they're good. I haven't watched any of it since I turned 9. A lot of people like them to the point of thinking Jeremy Brett is THE Holmes actor, so they had to be doing something right.

Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century and Case Closed are both like... impossible for me to parse as Holmes adaptations. Wikipedia says they are but like........ okay. I've seen them both and they are their own entities to me lol. Case Closed in particular is bomb as hell, highly recommended. But like... in a retro anime way, not a Holmes way.

Miss Sherlock has been good so far. I haven't watched enough to have a strong opinion beyond, like. Gay shit. As a Known Fagotte, I gotta say. They sure did cast very attractive actresses and leave all the homoeroticism in place. This, reasonably IMO, distracts me from having anything valuable to say.

The Star Trek TNG episodes with Data and Moriarty are obviously personal favourites. If you can suspend your disbelief enough to accept the god like powers of the holodeck, I think it's a really good time.

And the only one I can remember that wasn't on the Wikipedia list of adaptations is Slylock Fox. These are riddle comics for very young kids, like, ages 3-7. They're to help early readers learn new vocabulary and practice critical thinking. They were my very, very first Holmes media.

I. Hated. Those. Goddamn. Comics. I wanted to kill them. Not the characters or the author, but the comics themselves as a concept. I NEVER solved ANY of the fucking riddles, and to this DAY I will NEVER FORGET that latex paint dyes water and oil paint doesn't.

Probably good for kids who get bored in class a lot, but be ready for the rage.

[creune]

Long time no ramble, huh

I'm back by unpopular demand and with exactly zero brainpower

And hell, if anyone would have told me how much petty shit you have to do when creating a card game I probably don't try to do that for class

Okay, that's a lie, I absolutely would have

But still

My entire weekend is going to be an unbalanced and insane amounts of sprite making (for my partner's game), card art creation for my own game, art for an unrelated class and studying like crazy for the tests next week

It doesn't sound that bad until you realize I have, only for myself, over sixty images to create

Realistically, not doing all of them this weekend

But you can bet your ass I will try anyway, while trying to understand the difference between different operating system generations, AI search tech and other stuff like that

I'm creating my own hell, as usual

And most likely for nothing, as the unrelated project is to be submitted to teachers who don't seem to grasp the concept of a manual

Or coding for that matter

But that aside, it's actually the chillest semester I've had so far

Lots of projects, few tests, only one 8am class

I know hell is coming but I'm enjoying the peace while it lasts

In other news, I've upgraded into a DM. So far I've had two players:

My partner, chronic minmaxer, troll of the century, theater kid of gay proportions, smartest and dumbest player at the exact same second, with a knack for evil characters and one shotting bosses

And a dude who we don't even know the actual name of (a friend of a dormmate that never showed up so we legit just don't even know the guy at all) who knows the recipe for explosives by heart and tried to calculate the ph level of magic acid and wrote himself out of the roleplay part of the adventure entirely. Also is never free so no session for a while now

It's been an experience, in ways I wouldn't have expected

In both a "please stop sniffing dust" way and in a way of learning to be more social on my end, even if sometimes that has to include sentences as "no, you can't have a carpet bomb as a lvl2 character" or "if you throw a decapitated head at a [insert non-violent type npc here], they won't wanna talk to you"

I love the chaos

I've also had some other stuff creep up on me that reset some progress I made in my behaviors and just becoming less depressed, but I managed to overcome it with the help of my partner. At least mostly. But hey, could be worse. Could have entirely destroyed myself. That would have sucked

I have a lot of things I wanna do and for all of that I need myself so, can't afford to lose me

For example, the goddamn card game that is hell incarnate

It's the unholy abomination child of yugioh with inscription, getting fucked sideways by slay the spire

I'm both excited to actually make it and hate everything about it

I have way too many shit going on as usual and I'm 100% sure not a single other soul will care but

It's a game I wanna make so I'll make it, even if for myself (for class, I am making a demo version cause there's no way in hell I make the whole thing in 4-5 weeks)

Only issue is that writing had to be sidelined again

But oh well

Passing my classes is a bit more important

And when I write, I can actually say I'm proud of what I'm doing

I am happy with my work on all fronts

Which is new and weird but also just

It's so freaking great

I can fuckin smile when I make my silly lil stories or cards or whatever

Life's good y'all

It really gets good

And I'm so damn happy it does

It's so fun

It's exciting

It's awesome

Yeah that's it

I just wanted to make a lil update on life

Cause I'm actually feeling happy consistently

And I felt like sharing that

[teaberrii]

hai! its anon that asked about your hobbies! i actually enjoy drawing too! though i draw on ipad with an apple pencil 😅

though if you're not using it already, i recommend ibis paint x! its a free drawing app thats pretty much on par with a lot of other paid professional drawing apps :) also get a simple stylus, cus finger drawing is uh.. let's just say finger artists are to be worshipped and admired fr idk how they do it 😭

ahh drawing people and characters.. the pain of having to study anatomy/clothes studies/colour theory etc. icks me but its the process of learning ig XD I'd also recommend just learning a few of the basics from youtube, unless you just want to draw for fun, then in that case dont worry about everything i just said LOL

by the way, all this art talk really reminds me of Kaveh T_T i feel like most artists can really relate to him xD I love him to bits (and his boyfriend, alhaitham of course LOL) 💚💚

I've heard of ibis paint x! I've seen reviews and heard good things about it but I never got around to actually looking into it. I guess this is another sign. I'll check it out :)

I'm finger drawing cause I don't have a stylus, and it is indeed so hard 😭 I totally agree on getting a stylus, LOL. This also makes me wonder if there are actual finger artists out there. If so, I'm curious if they have a different process or something o_o

Omg learning anatomy and clothes makes me want to sleep. LOL. I think this is why I'm like... sticking to basic/chibi stuff. :x Drawing more realistic stuff makes me aldkjfaksjfdksd

You know, Kaveh should have an art channel called: Draw with Kaveh. Maybe he'll run out of ideas one day and meets Reader who becomes his muse. And then they start a business relationship which grows into something more. LOL Anyway...

Thanks for the tips/advice, drawing anon <3

[pudding-parade]

Mine isn't very exciting. It was 2006ish, and my daughter was 8 or 9. She and her little friends played TS2. I'd look over their shoulders from time to time, being a "responsible parent," and I noticed that you could build houses in it. I've had a weird life-long hobby of designing/drafting houses, and I liked to fiddle around with architectural CAD, but in CAD, at least at the time, you couldn't build/render entire neighborhoods. TS2's building aspect seemed kind of like extremely light, dumbed-down CAD, so I coughpiratedcough a copy of the base game to see what it could do. As it turned out, the non-open world and the way lots worked and stuff kind of scotched my dreams of building realistic neighborhoods (though you can get closer to that in TS3, of course), but building in it was kind of fun, anyway, and it was much quicker than CAD. So, I did that for a year or so. I did eventually buy the game+EP/SPs, but I never intended to actually play it.

Then my daughter, who by then had graduated to medieval playing (and researching how to do so more realistically also sparked her love of the period and history in general; she's now getting her PhD in medieval studies), informed me that CC existed, so I could make better-looking houses. And then I thought, "Hey, maybe I'll share some of these houses!" to kind of 'pay back' the creating community. But before I did that, I figured I'd better test them out, so I put some Sims in them. Turns out those cramped, more-realistic houses didn't work out well for actual playing -- too-narrow halls, inaccessible dining chairs, stuff blocking furniture and making it unusable, CFE'd attic floors that didn't actually work, stuff like that -- but I found that I actually enjoyed playing the game and…Well, here we are.

I still like to do weird shit in the game instead of just playing nuclear families like a normal person, though.

The earliest memory of the sims you have. On your mark, get set...go!

[what-i-call-men]

Jiggle physics

Jeff Pfister x female!reader

Warnings: SMUT, dominant reader, sub Jeff, some degradation towards Jeff, a bit of voyeurism at the end (reader finds out mutt saw the whole thing)

Request: My fic thought for the night (up for grabs) but it’s Jeff pfister. Reader is a dancer/instructor and Jeff studies her for “jiggle physics”. Thought is definitely a smut

One again I am stealing a picture from @copy-of-a-cheeto because I love the icons they make. Thank you!!

Also thank you to @divineruler for proof reading

It was another day for you to begin with. You were working at a small gym in town after your other job hadn't really worked out. You were freshly graduated from college and needed somewhere to work while you looked for other opportunities, a gym was your best option. Now you weren't an avid gym person, but you did enjoy dancing so you ended up instructing a Zumba class. It was more of a hip hop class because your gym was right near a college town, and early 00s Spanish didn't reach college kids as much as hip hop and rap music.

This week you had specifically scheduled a dirty Thursday class, uncensored music and a lot of confidence boosting music. You were doing your last few songs, pushing everyone to their "sexy limits" as you put it. You had stripped off your tank top, now just in your sports bra and leggings. When you were stripping off your top, you had a few of your regulars whistle or cheer, some even joining you as they knew the choreography. You ended your last high energy song and started your cool downs, opting to leave the shirt off as you were definitely sweating right now.

The slow sounds of Just the two of Us by Grover Washington jr played through the speakers as you instructed your class to stretch out. As you faced them, you couldn't help but catch a glance of blonde hair from outside the glass doors to the room. It looked familiar but you couldn't put your finger on it as you continued your instruction. After you finished your cool down, you moved to gather your things as some of the students chatted with you. One of your best friends had walked out to run to the locker room and came back, running up to you and pinching your arm a bit. "You'll never guess who is outside looking for you." She whispered so others wouldn't hear.

Turning to her you rubbed the now pained part of your arm and raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Um I don't know, Ryan Reynolds ready to sweep me off my feet?" You asked and reached down to pick up your gym bag and tank top, choosing to toss it in the bag rather than putting it on. Your friend followed you out of the classroom with the rest of the remaining class. "No, it's fucking Jeff and Mutt from high school." She whispered and nodded to the front desk where they stood, talking to a receptionist. You looked at them for a second.

"And they have those same dumb haircuts from when they were 12." You choked back a quiet laugh as you approached the front desk. Mutt saw you first and then elbowed Jeff to look up at you. "Hey boys, long time no see." You said and walked up to the pair, holding out your membership card to the front desk people to clock you out. "What warrants such an abrupt visit from the resident horny weeb club." You said and led the boys out, your friend keeping a close distance behind the group.

"Hey y/n, can we talk to you alone? We have a job offer for you?" Mutt said and glanced at your friend. You stopped outside the gym and nodded to your friend to go to the car you shared. "What job could you two possibly have for me? Last I heard you guys were just trolling random people online and spam liking my Instagram pictures." You said and crossed your arms. You weren't really friends with the two in high school, but you did have a friendly teasing relationship with them, rather than really making fun of them like others did. You were really only nice because you never knew who'd end up going crazy, and you'd rather not be on someone's shit list.

"We recently ran into... a lot of money. And we wanted to hire you at our robotics company." Jeff said and gestured excitedly at you. He definitely was on something from the way he had a shake to his hands. "Uh... you two know I majored in archeology? I don't know the first thing past how to google." You said and looked mainly at Jeff. God if he didn't have that stupid haircut still, you'd be tempted to say he got hot. He's got a pretty good body and he looked pretty good in comparison to Mutt. It would help him a lot if he didn't still dress and look like he was 12.

"We're aware. It has nothing to do with your degree. Here, this is what you'd make if you come to work for us." Mutt grabbed a card from his pocket and a pen that hung from your bag pocket. When he handed you the paper you had to blink at the numbers for a second. "Annually?" "Weekly" Jeff corrected your question. You stared at the paper for a second. "How do I know you guys aren't just high or something? How'd you even find me?" You asked and Mutt and Jeff looked at each other before Jeff grabbed his keys from his pocket. He clicked the unlock button and a Rolls Royce beeped from where it was parked only a few spots away from where you stood. "If you're interested come pay us a visit." Mutt pointed at the business card he had handed you and the two walked to the car before you could say anything.

When you got home of course you researched the company name on the card. Kineros Robotics had made actual headlines and pictures of the men were on different sites about their sudden influx of money to their company from a generous anonymous donation. You glanced at the card and pursed your lips before pulling up Instagram, going to Jeff's page, glancing at the pictures he's posted and biting your lip. God you could really tell he was either still a virgin or very submissive in some sense. He wasn't like any of the gym bros that hit on you or messaged you. With a small surge of courage, you hit the 'message' button and typed out a quick text.

After messaging back and forth about the job opportunity for about two days, you found yourself standing outside the main entrance to the robotics lab. You walked down the hall to see glass doors and just a buzzer. You buzzed and were quickly let in. "You guys should get a receptionist or someth-" your words were cut off when you saw what was really in the room. There were humanoid robot figures and a lot of latex parts just laying around. A lot of these parts were tits or asses, all different shapes and sizes but there seemed to be something off with all of them.

"Hey I'm glad you made it. You can set yourself up in the room over there." Mutt said as he stared down at his computer. The room was all white, some windows around but pretty much all of them had shade covering them with little to no light peeking through. There was a pile of white powder sitting at each desk. Oh so they were coked out and making sex dolls. What the actual fuck did this have to do with you? "Set my stuff up...?" You asked softly and Jeff stood from his desk to lead you to the room.

"I didn't tell you what you were here for?" He asked as he opened the door to the next room. You shook your head and looked at the hardwood floor and speaker set up. "We need you to be a model. See... our last few latex prints came out... less than desirable- jiggle wise. Our math was way off and we need these to be as real as possible." Jeff said and walked to a small cabinet in the corner of the room. "I need you to put this on so we can monitor your motions to make our robots more realistic." He said and handed you what was barely any cloth. It looked like those dotted suits superheroes wore so their suits could be cgi but instead of a suit it was a bikini top and what is pretty much a skimpy pair of bottoms that were basically bathing suit bottoms with how little they covered.

"Jeff, you didn't mention this." You said and took the clothes slowly as he headed back out to the door. "Just put those on and I'll be back in a few." He said and glanced over your body again quickly before closing the door. You decided to send a quick text to your best friend- just a "here's what I'm doing in case I get murdered" text. After that you slipped the clothes on and stared at yourself in the mirror beside the little cabinet. You could tell this was a makeshift dance room. That was probably what they were looking for. Good thing jiggle physics was your thing in class.

Jeff came back a couple minutes later with a laptop in his hands. He stopped and gulped when he looked over your body in the skimpy outfit, quickly opting to sit on the ground as he monitored the points on the laptop. "Go ahead." He said and positioned the laptop on his lap, having to adjust himself a bit a couple of times. "Jeff... I need music." You said and moved to grab your phone, nodding to the speaker system, him shrugging and letting you do so. As you leaned over the speaker you glanced in the mirror beside you and he was very much staring right at your ass. God if he wasn't such a virgin you'd probably be disgusted. That was probably why they didn't know the right jiggle physics for a woman's body.

You started playing some of your best twerk music, trying to shake off how weird it was to have just Jeff staring at his computer then back to you as you danced. You tried to just close your eyes and get into the choreography as you ignored the awkwardness of Jeff obviously having a boner and you just twerking for him to collect data. You did a few hip swirls and then some quick shakes, glancing at yourself in the mirror. Honestly as you looked you didn't realize you had given Jeff a perfect look of your ass. He ran a hand through his hair as the song began to wrap up. You went to your phone to change the song and decided to strike up a small conversation.

"So… are you getting good data?" You asked and just got a simple nod from Jeff, his stupidly cute bowl cut bobbing back and forth as he nodded. "So you're making sex robots huh?" You asked as you looked through your playlist nonchalantly bending over a bit to give Jeff a good view of your chest. He once again responded with a nod as you started the next song. It was a bit more sexy than the last one. "Why don't you monitor the jiggle physics of sex then?" You asked as you lowered the volume of the song, starting your choreography, which included some moves where you're on the ground, shaking and bouncing as if you were riding someone. "I'm sure they are more accurate than me dancing." You said as you pushed yourself down to the ground chest first with your ass up and facing Jeff.

He adjusted a bit and you moved yourself a bit closer to where he was seated as he chose not to answer you. "If you want more accurate results Jeff, you need the jiggle physics of sex." You stated and gently moved the computer off his lap, placing it on the ground as you gently moved to straddle his legs. "The reason you and Mutt can't get the math right is because you need to really experience a woman's body during sex and neither of you could rope in a girl to fuck you for science. Am I right?" You asked Jeff as you leaned into him, settling yourself on his lap. His face was so red as his eyes kept flicking from your chest to your face. He just nodded silently to your question.

"Jeff, I'm gonna need you to verbally respond to me. I want to hear you say it." You said and ran your hands from his shoulders and down his chest. He took a deep shaky breath. "Fu- I need you to fuck me for science." He said softly and looked up to you as you tutted at him.

"No honey, the other thing." You said and pushed your fingers under the hem of his shirt. He gulped and took in another breath. "I can't get anyone to fuck me. Please y/n I need you." He pretty much whimpered under you as you pushed up to the balls of your feet, leaning forward and beginning to shake your ass a bit from where you sat on his lap. You rolled your hips slowly forwards and pushed your chest against his, leaning up next to his ear. "That's better." You whispered and then left a small wet kiss under his ear. Slowly working down his neck in small wet kisses and sucks.

You could feel his body tense as you reached down between you and gently palmed at him. God you could tell how hard he was without looking. You smirked a bit and continued to suck small hickies on his neck and under his ear as you quickly undid his button and fly, grabbing his dick from his boxers. Wow if you would've known he was packing you probably would've slept with him in high school, but everyone just assumed he wasn't and that was why he didn't get girls. You pumped him slowly and you could hear him let out small moans and whimpers, wanting to stay quiet on the off chance Mutt heard over the music.

As you pumped him you gently bit his earlobe to get his attention. "If you wanna get inside me baby, you gotta help me out." You said quietly and he nodded and willingly let you take his hands and place them on your ass. He gave a small gentle squeeze and you smirked as you felt him twitch in your hand. "God... fuck... holy shit..." he muttered as you rolled your hips against his thighs, wanting to at least stimulate yourself a little bit.

"You wanna make sure my monitoring is ok baby?" You whispered and he glanced over at the laptop, still reading the outfit you wore. You grabbed his cock again, now moving yourself to push your bottoms to the side. Slowly sinking down on to him, you could've sworn Jeff came right then. And he did. But that wasn't going to stop you from helping him out for the 'sake of science'. You grabbed his hands and placed them on your waist so as to not interfere with his readings. Slowly you began to bounce on him, feeling all parts of your body begin to bounce. Jeff was letting out the most sinful noises. Honestly it sounded like he only knew what moaning was from women in porn, but you didn't mind- honestly it was hot to have him be so responsive.

"Oh baby you're gonna be too loud, Mutt might interrupt us and you wouldn't want that would you? Don't want him to find you moaning like a whore for me." You said lowly as you reached up to gently squeeze his throat. He closed his mouth and nodded at you as you continued to bounce on him. God you could tell how close he was to coming again, but lord knows you weren't done with him. His moans got quieter but he still let out small whines from below you. You reached down to rub your own clit as you bounced on top of him. "Fuck baby, you wanna fuck me so bad? How about you get that data you need by pounding me from behind?" You muttered and climbed off of him.

He barely questioned you when you did so, only whining a little at the loss of contact. As you turned around and got on your knees, pushing your ass up in the air, he quickly moved to his own knees, pushing into you and beginning to thrust at a rapid pace. You could definitely tell his knowledge of sex is from video games and porn because he kinda went wild. He pounded hard and you couldn't help but moan out as he grabbed your waist with a tight grip. After he got a hang on his speed, he reached forwards and pulled you up, pushing you against the mirrored wall he had been leaning against, he paused momentarily to undo the bikini top, and as soon as it dropped to the ground he was grabbing your tits from behind.

You pushed back against him, your face now pushed against the foggy mirror as he thrusted into you hard. "Fuck.... fuck y/n." He grunted out quietly as his thrust became more sporadic and sloppy. You could tell he was gonna come again, so you reached behind your head and grabbed his hair firmly. "You're not coming again until I cum. You fucking hear me?" You groaned as he continued to thrust into you. He nodded and reached around in front of you, fumbling for your clit for a moment before you corrected his hand placement and showed him the correct movement. He rubbed quickly and in pace with his thrusts, you could tell from his look in the mirror that he was trying so hard not to cum.

As soon as you finally reached the edge, you let out a loud and pretty pornographic moan of his name mixed with some swearing and praises. "God... fuck Jeff you feel so good in me. I want you to cum baby. I want you to cum in me baby." You thrusted back on him and kept your hand firmly tugging at his hair. It was only seconds before he was coming in you, his own face twisted in pleasure as you looked at him through the mirror. He slowed to a stop and slowly removed himself from you. You only caught your breath for a couple moments before there was a knock on the door.

"Hey those were good readings, we're gonna need you here again tomorrow so we can get some other position readings." Mutt called through the door. You looked at Jeff. "Could he see the reading the whole time?" You asked Jeff quietly. He bit his lips and nodded. "I assumed you knew because you saw this room through the glass when you walked in." Jeff said and pointed to the mirror which was in fact a one way mirror you had seen walking in from the lab, which you falsely assumed was a window because of the shade. "So mutt saw the whole thing?" You asked softly, slowly piecing everything together. Jeff nodded, scared you were gonna be upset. You only shrugged and reached over to gently grab his throat again. "Guess now he knows how good of a whore you are for me then." And god if he hadn't just come, Jeff probably would've come again from that action alone. Damn you were gonna have fun working here.

[starconsumer444]

Just found you and already smitten with your dark content. Could you maybe write either Kuroo/Suna/Tendou/Bokuto (whichever u choose) brother or stepbrother catching sister/stepsister trying to masturbate but not knowing how so they edge her relentlessly until she agrees to let him have sex with her because he's tricked her thats the only way she can really cum the first-time? Finishing with a nice cream pie?

Older Brother!Suna (18+)

A/N:Thank you thank youuu~ I’m sorry I didn’t go with the “relentless” edging, I just did it one time because it was getting long and I have a sick and twisted sadomasochistic habit of writing from the late hours of the night until the early hours of the morning and getting dead tired half way through. I’m not sure if that was all that great in comparison to my other works, but I really hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

(CW/TW: Incest, Virginity [Suna makes it hurt too, but there is an orgasm <3], Coercion, Dubcon, Edging??? Or just flat-out orgasm denial...,Age gap??? [Reader is 18, Suna is 25] Fingering, Creampie, Absolutely Clueless reader..., Masturbation, Suna is an asshole in this one, Deception, Manipulation and PLEASE TELL ME IF I MISSED SOMETHING!!!!)

Unfortunately for you, university wasn't all that it was talked up to be in terms of sex and anything else really. You went into your first year thinking you were gonna lose your virginity, make new friends, go to frat parties, and just have all-around wild experiences. Suna, when he was in school, would always come back with cool stories to tell you, and had a new girlfriend every break he got. To have cool experiences like your big brother was the only reason you wanted to go, but unfortunately for you, it was none of that. Maybe it’s because you’re not an athlete like him, but it was studies, a newfound coffee addiction, and a roommate that never seemed to go anywhere. All that on top of your dead social life, absolutely miserable..

When Suna came to pick you up from the airport so you two could spend the holidays with your parents (a tradition no matter how old either of you get), you told him all about it. Sure, you didn’t grow up particularly close with him being seven years older and all, but he was still your older brother and no topic seemed to be off limits with him, so it was nice. He wasn’t the most doting older sibling and definitely not the most talkative either, but he was good for listening. Really, listening was his strong suit.

You told him about your lackluster social life and your mountains of schoolwork, but, even knowing he wouldn’t mind, you didn’t tell him about the sex stuff. Why would you? He’s your older brother. He shouldn’t know things like that about you.

Needless to say, you go home for winter break a sexually frustrated virgin. Maybe, if you had tried a little harder with the people at school it wouldn’t have come to this?

The house had been dead silent when you decided to, for the first time, attempt to masturbate. You were sure no one was home, not your mom, not your dad, and not your older brother, Suna. Still, you could’ve at least checked before you completely stripped your lower half.

It wasn’t going well, you had two fingers inside yourself and you didn’t feel anything. You felt like a doctor doing a self-probe at best. It just felt... wrong? But this is how the girls in porn do it, right? There’s no way you’re getting this wrong. You’re doing exactly what you see; moving your fingers in and out, even curling them a bit… What could you possibly be doing wrong?

Suna watches you silently from your slightly cracked door.

Pitiful, he thinks.

He was just coming by to ask if you wanted anything from the store because he was headed out. He didn’t expect to see his little sister struggling with her fingers in her cunt. He can postpone that walk to the corner-store to bond with his little sister.

He doesn’t even bother knocking to spare you the humiliation, just pushes the door open and lets himself right in.

You notice him immediately and let out a loud scream, closing your legs and trying to hide yourself by turning away from him. You want to disintegrate. Your body is burning up with embarrassment.

What does he want? Why now?

You feel his weight make your childhood bed dip and you can feel the warmth radiating off his body. One of his calloused hands caresses your thigh and you don’t move away from it the way you know you’re supposed to. You’re frozen.

What is he doing?

“Suna, get out!” You turn to look at him and grab his wrist to stop him in his tracks. Can’t he take a hint? “What are you-”

“You’re not doing it right.” He pipes up. In the back of his mind he knows this is wrong. He shouldn’t be doing this with his baby sister.

“Huh?” You’re clearly lost.

“I’ve done this before, let me help you.”

It takes nothing for him to separate your legs and settle himself in between them.

“You’re still a virgin?” His fingers slide gently up and down the wetness between your folds and it draws a sharp whimper and a harsh nod from you.

Suna is twenty-five and has enough sense about himself to know this is wrong. He’s not going to try to rationalize it. He’s just taking a golden opportunity even if that opportunity is his little sister. He has a knack for corrupting innocent girls like you; it’s fun for him even if it’s sick and perverted.

The dirty feeling you get having your brother touching and eyeing your most intimate parts is intense. You want him to keep going, but you know you should tell him to stop.

“Suna, this isn't okay.”

He shushes you but nods his head.

“I’m just helping you.” He says matter-of-factly. “It’s not like you can make yourself cum. Let your big brother help you, okay?” He insists and pushes two fingers inside your hole.

You scoot back out of shock and let out a surprised yelp, “O-okay,”

If he hears the nerves in your voice, he doesn’t do anything to acknowledge it. All he does is scoot closer and offer a gentle smile, the same brotherly one he gave you when he left for college and you cried wanting him to stay. That smile.

It feels so different when he fingers you. He’s not being as rough as you were and he’s definitely more practiced; you’re sure there’s tons of girls he’s done this too. It feels good, especially with him rubbing pleasant circles into your clit. You shouldn’t like this as much as you do.

“Feel better?”

“Mhm,”

He starts to speed up, and you clap your hand over your mouth to stop the moans from being too loud in case you two weren’t the only ones home. His fingers are like magic and you don’t know how to react.

With the stimulation to your clit and his fingers inside you, above cloud nine is where you are. You’ve never felt like this, and there’s a tinge of guilt about it being with your brother but this is too good.

As cute as you look with your heaving chest and your eye’s starting to unfocus, he knows he’s not done with you. When he feels you start to spasm around his fingers he pulls them out, because this may be his only chance to use you, his little sister.

He brings his fingers to his mouth and licks them clean like the perv he knows he is. It leaves you staring with your mouth hanging open, clearly searching for the words.

“What?” He asks, feigned puzzledness all over his expression. “You taste good.” He chuckles inwardly, you cringe internally. That’s not what you were going to ask, though.

“No…” You can’t look at him, so you look down and play with the sheets on your bed.

“Come on, what is it?”

“I think I was going to cum… and you-”

“That’s dumb, you can’t cum from being fingered.” There’s a seriousness in his tone, you take it as fact; he knows he’s lying.

“But the girls in porn-”

“It’s porn, it’s not realistic.”

You’ve heard that before. You guess it’s true, especially if Suna says it. It must be.

Thank god for shitty sex ed, he muses internally because without it, this wouldn’t be possible.

“Do you wanna cum?” He asks curiously.

All you offer in response is a meek nod. You’re not actually certain on going through with your brother making you cum, but if it’s anything like the way he made you feel just now… maybe, it’s not so bad.

He tells you to lay down, and you do so without hesitation. With your legs splayed open over his thighs, it feels grosser knowing your brother has an even clearer view of you. You wish you had the self control to just say no and end this.

He pulls his sweats and underwear down; if your heartbeat wasn’t going crazy before it definitely is now. His dick is thick and long. He’s rock hard, his tip is pinker than the rest of it, and there’s clear stuff leaking out. It looks like it’s going to hurt, even looks like it’s hurting him right now.

“Suna, wait is this-” You don’t know how to finish. “I’m a virgin.”

“I know, you told me already.” He’s not really paying attention to you. He spits on his hand and rubs it all up and down his length. It’ll hardly help more than the fingering, but it’s a kindness he’s willing to give his little sister. “Just… relax. I’m not gonna hurt you.” He says as he leans over you, guiding his length to your entrance.

Immediately you clench and shut him out.

“I-I’m sorry I just-”

“It’s fine, just relax like I said.”

You do, and he starts to push in. It burns. Stings? Something like a mix of those two.

Even if there was lube for you to use, Suna wouldn’t have offered. He likes the way his baby sisters' face contorts  in pain and confusion. You look cute losing your virginity to your big brother.

“AH-” It’s a sharp, pained exclamation coming from you as your hand pushes at his chest. Your legs are thrown over his shoulders now and he’s impaling you slowly inch by agonizing inch. You can feel him stretch you, but you don’t want him to stop, you’ve waited so long for this.

One of his hands rests on your lower stomach and you beg him to do anything to make you feel better when he’s all the way in. He rubs at your clit and leans over to kiss you like you’re his girlfriend.

Without warning he starts to move. It’s nothing but shallow and slow thrusts that have you feeling every inch of him. If it’ll make you cum, you can handle it. All you want is to cum. Combined with his fingers working on your clit, you’re sure you will, right?

Your moans are soft, even if it doesn’t feel that great. The girls in porn moan all the time, it’s the right thing to do.

When he feels like he’s been kind enough, he starts to move faster. You start to get used to it and your legs start to shake from the combined stimulation and strain from being bent at such an angle.

It’s like magic. Your orgasm washes over you,your eyes roll into the back of your head, your body shakes and your back arches off your soiled sheets.

Shock is plastered on Sunas typically inexpressive face. He didn’t expect you to actually...

His little sister is so sensitive. Most girls wouldn’t climax like that their first time. There’s an unspoken sense of pride in this for him. Still, he’s not stopping until he cums too.

You’re whining and squirming up under him, pushing at his hips and moving his hand away from your clit like him continuing is killing you after you’ve worked through your first orgasm. He assures you that’s how it’s supposed to feel and you’re supposed to wait until he cums too.

Once more, you’re laying there in discomfort and he’s getting off to it. Suna knows he’s wrong for it but he just can’t bring himself to care. Not when he’s so close. He especially doesn’t care when he sees your horrified expression as you feel him paint your walls with his warm cum. He’ll make sure you don’t get pregnant later, but for right now he wants to savor this moment.

[matthewbeilschmidts]

It’s been a long while since I’ve posted but I’m so glad that I am :’)

This is for Day 1: of @prucanweek - Ordinary

Apologies for spelling errors, it’s a little short but I hope you enjoy 😭💞

-

Matthew doesn’t mind that he’s living an ordinary life. Really.

He grows up near the coast, two parents, a fraternal twin brother, and their gangly hairless cat, Tony (picked curtesy of Alfred). Their parents take them everywhere they can during their childhood, the beach, museums, sports game. They focus on their interests, figuring out what the two like and dislike, as they encourage them both to be themselves and do what they love no matter what. Alfred debates between whether he likes wrestling or football more, while Matthew settles into hockey. In between family get togethers, community festivals, and endless sports training, they somehow have time for homework. (The two share answers a lot.)

He and Alfred each have their own rooms when they enter their teen years, a space to decorate and fill with their own mementos and awards. The sports continue, but later their parents find themselves a little bit busier than before. They do though, give them as much time as they can during the school year, never wanting them to go without someone by their side.

Matthew fades into the background a little bit as they get older, while Alfred puts himself front and center. Matthew watches once with a hand over his eyes as Alfred auditions for the school musical, and surprisingly he read and sings the lines well. “It’s always the rowdy ones!” their theater teachers says after he’s finished performing, a mix of anticipation from planning on putting Alfred on stage and dread at the thought of having to manage him.

Matthew silently supports him, after all he has his own things to do.

He’s the co-caption of the hockey team, the coach giving him the position to give him a little more of a voice, and his teammates verbally agree, considering on the ice Matthew has a lot more to show than he does in person. He accepts, albeit hesitantly.

By the time graduation comes by, Matthew can barely believe how the time has passed. His team even wins a championship under his watch. Some of his fellow classmates look so ready to go out and experience the world, and it’s scary to him because weren’t they all going at the same pace?

His parents talk him through picking his college of choice, and he decides to go. He needs to do what everyone does and experience the world.

And if he decides he wants to come home, that’s okay because at least he tries.

-

He’s in his first art class during his third year at university. The time has been going well, he’s got pretty decent grades and has managed to join a few clubs. But he’s not done yet. Extra curriculars, can’t finish without them. He prioritizes his general education first, and even slips himself into a few major classes early on, but humanities is on record now and has to be completed no matter what one’s studying.

He can get through one semester, he hopes.

Next to him, a student is snickering and the professor doesn’t look amused.

“Gilbert.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“If you’re done, I can introduce myself now.”

The professor goes in with complete, in-depth introductory slides with her name and credentials, and a briefing of all they will overcome this semester.

He’s never been an artist, at least not one that picks up a pencil and creates a realistic masterpiece with nothing but that and a pad of paper. Maybe some poetry contests in high school, if that counts. The written word has its own impact, its own set of colors to breathe out for the world to see.

There’s another snicker, interrupting his internal monologue.

He doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t know the student, and it’s not his place to control others. But, if it starts to hinder the class, maybe he’ll tell him something. He’s paying to be there, too.

The man catches him staring.

“Yes?” he asks Matthew without being spoken to in the first place.

“Oh,” Matthew flushes at being caught, not that he was trying to hide it anyway. “Well, she didn’t say anything funny?”

The guys waves a hand, making a “psssh” noise as he does.

“I’m just laughing because of how formal this all is. She won’t be this dignified later in the semester that’s for sure. She’ll be ripping her hair out.”

Matthew glances back, he doesn’t want to say anyone looks mean but, he would believe it if she was.

“You look scared,” the guy laughs, which is rude because isn’t he the one that just put the thought in Matthew’s mind? “She’s not too mean just a sticker to the rules. Will get real pissy if something doesn’t go right.”

“And you still set her off knowing that?”

The man laughs again, but this time around he’s actually trying to contain it behind the thin art easel. He’s not very hidden.

“She’s my cousin’s wife.”

Ah, that makes sense then? Messing with family is normal, but also he shouldn’t be bothering her at work.

“It’s no wonder you seemed casual.”

“She taught both of the lower division figure drawing classes, too. This is my third semester in her class. She’s the only one teaching this specific class I didn’t have too much of a choice.”

“Art major?”

“Yep! And you?”

“Psychology major. I have to get in some cultural classes.”

“Ever taken art?”

“Actually no, not even in high school. I got through that stuff by working backstage in the theater department.”

“Well not to worry my friend, because you picked the best one.”

“Is it easy to pass?”

“Nope. Well, maybe if she likes your work,” Matthew deflates at the blunt response, “but don’t worry because I’m here to be your guide.”

Matthew perks up, but it takes him a moment. This guy’s gonna help him?

“Are you any good?”

“Am I good?” He looks perplexed Matthew would even ask. Matthew has to cover his own amusement. “I may not look it but charcoal and I go way back. I’ll show you my work later as proof.”

“Deal.”

“Gilbert, since you’re adamant on talking, you can be the first to introduce yourself.”

Even if his name wasn’t said, Matthew feels just as guilty. Caught, for talking on the first day of all things.

“Gilbert Beilshcmidt. Fourth year. I’m an art major and my favorite breakfast food is pancakes.”

Matthew looks surprised that he was paying attention, even to the last addition of their introduction. Matthew’s not sure he would have known considering he was distracted.

-

And so their friendship starts.

-

Gilbert sits next to him again. And again.

Where ever Matthew sits in the art room, Gilbert follows not too long after.

Some days they take the sitting desks, some they stand and lean against the stools.

And despite not even talking much, Gilbert treats him like a friend.

-

“Do you have any plans this afternoon?”

“Nope, this was my last class.”

“Do you want to get some coffee and work on our sketch books.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

-

Matthew finds himself meeting Gilbert in his downtime. Every Thursday after drawing for three hours becomes the day they meet. At first, all they do is draw, little more.

Gilbert is animated in all moments, but he has short spurts where he focuses exceptionally on his work. Matthew is no art critic, but he thinks Gilbert expresses himself quite well on paper. Graphite, charcoal, and pastels, all the utensils glide easily without a single stroke missing its mark.

Watercolor though, could use some work, which actually happens to be Matthew’s favorite. Even if the intention is to guide the colors with a brush, it’s okay for them to take a life of their own spreading across the thick paper.

They share snacks, art supplies, and their time.

Gilbert proves himself very useful as he promised. Matthew though never planning to be the next Van Gogh, has to pass this class. And it would be nice to pass it with flying colors, but some concepts are harder to grasp than others.

It’s obvious to tell he’s a beginner, while Gilbert excels. Matthew finds out he only now needs the intro class since it’s the first semester it became a requirement.

Gilbert helps him find the shapes he’s comfortable with, explains the processing for hatching and how it relates to shading. And while he’s no expert, he sees a subtle improvement over the next few weeks that makes some pride swell within himself.

-

“Do you want to come with me and my friends to this cool bar for dinner on Friday?” Gilbert asks about a month into the semester.

It’s the first time Gilbert and him will have spent time off campus.

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

-

Gilbert’s friends are just as animated as he, it’s almost hard to keep up. Overwhelming as they are, they’re extremely welcoming. Matthew eases into the atmosphere, joining in when he can but mostly pleased to be out and doing something different.

He’s made friends during his time, but like him they’re a little more reserved and pick quieter places on the town.

It’s fun. And he wants to go out again.

Matthew invites Gilbert and his friends to watch his next hockey game.

After their shock in finding out he plays such a violent sport, they’re all agreeing and planning to find the best seats in the arena.

-

“Are you serious. Are you hiding muscles under that red sweater?”

Gilbert pokes at him, it tickles when he gets closer to his biceps, but he knows he’s only teasing.

“You think I’m playing but I’m serious! You should have been there, well you were there. On the stands, I mean. We all screamed after you sent that player flying against the wall.”

Gilbert recreates the motions, but only slams himself into the wall and whines after he bounces back. He then plays it off like it doesn’t hurt. Gilbert’s not a very good actor.

People tell him it’s so much different watching him on the ice, but it’s still him. He’s always wondered how much different, he feels like himself. He just knows he goes into the zone when he’s in his gear. He just wants to win. And he will.

“It’s like night day,” Gilbert continues. “You were ready to kill a man down there.”

“You’re not the first to say that. I guess maybe, I could be a little more out there in real life, huh?”

Gilbert stops walking.

“Nope.”

“Nope?”

“You’re perfectly fine the way you are. I like the way you are, so don’t go change. I don’t want to be at risk of dying during art class.”

And as silly as it sounds, he’s pleased. He likes Gilbert a whole lot, too. Just the way he is.

-

“Do you want to have dinner with me?” Matthew takes the initiative.

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, just you and me. I want to take you out.”

“Like you did to that guy on the court,” Gilbert laughs nervously.

“On a date. Gilbert, would you like go out with me?”

He says yes.

Later that evening when he’s heading home, Gilbert starts running through the courtyard cheering that “I have a date with the cutest guy I’ve ever met!”

Matthew’s window is open, he’s face is bright red and he slams head first into his pillow. He needs to plan the best first date ever.

-

Three months into dating, he’s finally heading home again for a school break. He wants to take Gilbert with him, who is waiting for the next major holiday to go back home. But isn’t it too soon? They haven’t been dating that long, after all.

But Gilbert surprises him, and jokingly says he wants to go with him because he’ll miss him too much while he’s gone. And then, Matthew asks if he seriously wants to go.

“I do.”

So they ride the 3 hours train down to Matthew’s childhood home. He’s a little bit nervous, because he’s had dates to school dances, and brought friends over, but this is entirely different. This is someone he wants to take a serious step with, even if the time hasn’t been that long. They’ll never get anywhere if they don’t, so they’ll both take the leap and pray it works out.

“Mom, dad, Alfred, this is Gilbert.”

It’s the most timid Matthew’s ever seen him.

“Nice to meet ya, I’m Matthew’s boyfriend.”

After he shakes all their hands, he takes his hand back to link pinkies with Matthew.

There’s not an once of regret in his mind as the long weekend passes.

-

Gilbert graduates the next year, and the year after it’s his turn. They’re going to move in with each other. Gilbert really has no irresistible urge to go back to his home town, satisfied with just visiting a few times a year. And Matthew thinks he would like to go back closer, just to figure out his next move. So, they go together.

It’s only a one bedroom, but is more than enough space for them both. Gilbert finds work as a docent while Matthew works for a second degree in education.

He still plays hockey for a local league, Gilbert becoming their number one fan. They find their own rhythm, a pace that works for them both, where they can settle down or speed up when they agree with each other. Dewey mornings, warm summers, chilly evenings they spend them altogether.

They decide move up North closer to Gilbert’s hometown. Matthew’s more nervous meeting his grandparents than he was introducing Gilbert to his own family, but Gilbert assures him again and again they’re just a stuffy old family who actually really care about each other a lot more than they let off.

Gilbert’s grandfather towers over him, despite being a hair above 6 feet. He’s silent, eyes boring into Matthew as he introduces himself. And to end all of Matthew’s worries, the elder man pulls Matthew into a hug and tells him he’s glad him and Gilbert are home. Gilbert, just as perplexed as he, stares, but he melts into a pleased laugh.

Yeah, this is his and Gilbert’s home now.

-

They stay, for a long while, contemplate moving a few times, but they’re satisfied for now.

Gilbert and him always make time for each other, continue their own respective interests with complete support of the other. They’re never afraid to complain, because they always work through it rather then let it simmer.

Gilbert’s vivacious spirit keep them going, and Matthew’s heart keeps them grounded.

His life at first seem a little bit ordinary, but how can he complain when the pieces of the puzzle fit themselves in and stayed locked in tight.

[jostepherjoestar]

Ah I was sitting on this idea while waiting for requests to open! I loved your ask that had La Squadra meeting Risottos daughter from the future that got me thinking what if La Squadra had a memey s/o from present time? Would they ask lotta questions about the future and get confused when they speak in vine or tiktok references? 😆

La Squadra with a meme-y s/o from the future

gn reader // sfw

ahh that was such a cute ask and glad it made you think of this idea! thank your for requesting this and omg so so so so sorry it took so long, hope you’ll still enjoy it none the less! 💖✨ (you and your LS bf have a good comprehension of each other’s timelines and are used to traveling back and forth a bit :D)

Risotto

He knows the complications are endless and at times it all seems incomprehensible- having an s/o who can literally time travel; but your sheer knowledge of memes and the way you seem to effortlessly drop them into everyday conversation is astounding to him.

He doesn’t understand them that well, no amount of context or explaining will help. It’s simply a language he does not understand that well. And the memes or slang he kind of does understand, he just doesn’t find that funny. 

However, he will never actually find it a bother when you drop a few weird jokes. The way they make you laugh and sometimes even dry-heave from the hilarity makes him love you even more. 

In moments like that he’ll dryly let out a few slang words he remembers. You will never forget the time he let out a serious and deep “yeet” when you were already hysterically laughing, his addition might have made you stop breathing for a minute. It still makes you grin when you remember him shaking your shoulders and telling you to “breathe dammit!!”

Overall this man does not really get it or find it that entertaining himself, but he’ll gladly tease you and make you smile with the stuff he picks up. Risotto just can’t stop staring at your beaming grin.

Formaggio

Although he doesn’t truly grasp the layers of certain jokes or memes, Formaggio is your man! He’ll start using jokes and memes he learned from you and is so pleased when he makes you laugh with them. 

Formaggio is great at continuing a bit but once he loses interest he just...stops. Which is kind of perfect since your knowledge of vines is a lot bigger than those of tiktoks so those quick six seconds are easy to get the point across. 

He’ll still get some stuff wrong but he gets the gist of them. He loves annoying his teammates with his newfound references and they all can’t stand him. The second he opens his mouth with that smug look in his eyes, they all sigh in unison and prepare for the incomprehensible babbling that’s about to commence. 

The rest of the gang likes you but when you and Formaggio are hanging out at headquarters together, they tend to keep conversations quick because they know once you two team up, the suffering will never end. 

“Babe, wake up! New meme just dropped!” 

You two are a menace to deal with but god if it isn’t sickeningly cute and funny when he calls you his baby, his cinnamon apple!

Illuso

Don’t get Illuso wrong, he loves you but dear heavens you are on thin ice with him. He isn’t the most joke-y type, he likes a good chuckle but please do not oversaturate him with references he does not get. 

He has little to no interest in the videos you wish to show him and even less interest in remembering the ones he begrudgingly watched. 

At this point you’re allowed a couple jokes a day, he doesn’t count or literally prevent you from saying them, but you know each other well enough to see when he’s actually getting annoyed. 

To shut you up he’ll try and fluster you! He’ll look into your eyes so intensely as you continue talking about a meme, one eyebrow cocked and one side of his beautiful lips curled up into a smug grin. 

He’ll place a single hand on your cheek, his thumb gently swiping across it while the rest of his large hand and fingers rest on your scalp. As he hears you stumble over your words and can feel your cheeks heating up he’ll get in nice and close to your lips. Ghosting his over yours and placing a single kiss that you wish would last longer. That’ll keep you quiet for a bit 😌

He accidentally (re-)invents “that’s cringe” without your help. (he’s referring to you, sorry bestie)

Prosciutto

Why are you saying these weird words AT him? Why must you crease his brows even further?

Prosciutto’s patience is getting tested with you and your innate need for adding incomprehensible colourful commentary to everyday things and situations. He truly doesn’t get it and there is no amount of explaining you can do to change his mind. Even after the memes make even a little sense, he won’t find them funny.

He does love you, so much in fact, that he knows asking you to stop isn’t going to work and it wouldn’t be a fair thing to do. He sees how your smirk feeds into the satisfaction of landing a joke in your present time where most of your friends know what you’re talking about. 

However when you come around his part of the space time continuum, playtime is over. Well mostly. He does enjoy being a bit goofy around you, his snarky comments get a sarcastic edge that parallels your need for adding a fun flair to mundane things. 

The only time you made him laugh with a meme was when you kept repeating “i can’t believe you’ve done this” over and over while poking his cheeks during a playful mood. After a final poke, Prosciutto’s resolve finally breaking, he couldn’t help but snicker. With one final addition of the line, ever surprised by the wonderful sound he makes when he finally breaks, you stop and stare. Enamoured by your wonderful boyfriend and his gorgeous smile. 

Pesci

He’s the most supportive partner out there! Anything that makes you laugh and giggle, like the memes you keep showing him, fills his mushy heart with joy. 

Pesci will kind of get them? They all make sense in a way, but some of them just go above his head because of the layers of internet knowledge he does not possess. Although he really loves it when you show him stuff that reminded you of him.

🥺🥺🥺🥺 <-- his face the entire day after you show him cute pictures of animals and said they made you think of him. He’s just so in sickeningly smitten with you.

He’ll try out a couple of internet slang terms and blush really badly when they make you laugh. If Pesci could, he’d play your laughter on loop 24/7. Him baby, ok?

When the whole internet was debating their existence and that of every object because everything is cake, you quizzed Pesci on his cake-recognizing skills. He failed horribly, they all looked way too realistic and he might have had a small existential crisis. 

You playfully bit his wrist to show he wasn’t made of cake, planting some kisses along the sensitive spot. He shivered at your tickling pecks, relieved he wasn’t just a tasty confection and even happier that you’d love him regardless. 

Melone

Your meme comrade. 

The first mistake was showing him what the internet was like in your future timeline. He got so invested in its machinations and the entire culture surrounding it. He studied every single social media outlet. Every niche he could find only fuelling his curiosity. 

Pandora’s box has been opened and there is no turning back now. Not only does he get all the memes and vines you show him, he memorized them too. Melone will artfully display his knowledge in daily life when you’re around and show off.

Do you regret showing him? Maybe...but is it hilarious to hear him quote terribly long copy/pastas? Yes. Yes it is.

He will steal your phone so he can feed into his meme needs, saving the most fried up images that barely make any sense, to your gallery. You sorted the ones he saves into a special folder so you wouldn’t have to strain your eyes so much. 

It’s all fun and games until he starts referencing stuff during more intimate times. At first they made you laugh but as time went on you had to ask him to stop. 

Hearing Melone whisper “eeby deeby” while kissing his way down your neck might not be the mood you’d preferred. (hearing him sigh and say “so, no head?” was pretty hilarious tho)

Ghiaccio

To your surprise, once he understands the memes and gets the references, he becomes quite good at using them as well. Steering clear of the misspelled ones, of course. (one bad gloop might actually kill him)

Ghiaccio is such a big softie once he’s alone with you, letting his guard down and finally calm, not irked or stressed by his surroundings. 

He loves it when you show him new weird pictures you saved because they made you think of him. You don’t allow him to have a smartphone no matter how much he wants it (it’ll mess up sensitive time stuff) so when you’re scrolling through your preferred meme gathering app with Ghiaccio alongside you, he’ll point out ones and snicker a “that’s you”. 

It makes your heart melt how cute he can be with the stuff he picks out. Once he actually said “you’re baby” and you felt your soul leave your precious body as his cheeks turned redder than plush tomatoes in summertime. 

When he’s around the rest of the squad or in a more public setting, the usual stressors return. But with you around to offer quick witty jokes, things tend to become less focused on irritation. 

You are 100% sure you’ve heard him yell the famous words “AM I WRONG?!” during a heated argument with Melone. You had to leave the room to prevent worsening things, holding in your laughter and silently dying as you heard him rave on. 

[everythingblreview]

Slow Damage review 2.0 Part 1

It’s 16 pages actually 

Hello I’m back and instead of actually writing a new review of a game, or playing a new game that’s a lie I’m playing more than one VN at the same time right now. I’ve been thinking a lot about slow damage lately and wanted to write my full thoughts/analysis on it. For this occasion, I replayed the game. This will be full of spoiler of everything in the game as well as the spoiler of the short story.

Disclaimer: This is MY opinion, I’m not wanting to start a discussion, this is just how I experienced the game. Not everything here will be in a positive light and I don’t hold back from criticize what I didn’t like. This is a fictional game so please don’t attack me. But if you are fine with me babbling 16 pages about the game, you can go ahead. Important to note: Towa is my favourite character, so my thought on the routes are all Towa centered

(I probaly forgot some stuff but please excuse the game is really long)

I will start from the unlocked route and work toward the true route. Starting with Taku~

Taku

After replaying Taku’s route I noticed some differences to my first time playing.

First his route was my second favourite in the game the first time I played it, but replaying it, it was not really interesting anymore. His story is all about him developing drugs for Toono because of his deb he made so he could study to become a doctor, but if you know already about this part there is nothing else to really investigate. His backstory with his mother is ok, he feels guilty for stuff he done in his route but that’s all there is, when you already know the secret Taku is hiding, there is not much left, that’s why is lacks something if you replay it.

The second thing is his relationship with Towa, before I talk about the problem, I personally  have with it I will talk about the things I did like: Taku already was protective of Towa since he was a child, and his feeling developed into more later on, from what Taku said we can assume his feelings turned into “like” after the incident with Asakura. Towa feeling to Taku developed during the time they spent together when they were both locked in the building. Taku was someone he always felt save with, back in his horrible childhood when no one was there for him, only Taku(it was probably the only time he could get away from his crazy mother), and after the fear of losing Taku he noticed he has deeper feelings for him (at this point we can’t say that is romantic love because Towa doesn’t understand this feeling, but Taku is special for him it’s canon don’t attack me). The development part of their feelings was nice and felt pretty realistic. Secondly, I like how they dealt with Taku falling for a guy. Taku said he wasn’t interested in the same gender from the beginning, but he didn’t say stuff like “I’m not gay, I’m straight” or something like that. He just said he is not experienced with it, and he didn’t just go for it after Towa “attacked” him and was still unsure at this point, and only later when he was sure he had romantic felling he went for it, which was quite nice.   Now to for the things that I can’t get over and ruin the relationship for me. First, from the true route we learn that Taku has been lying about Towa past the whole time, (telling him his mother was a great woman) so this relationship is already based on a lie. Towa mother was not a great woman like Taku tells, she is the whole reason Towa has suffered his whole life, and while Taku may not know the everything, he knows what Towa went through but still he keeps his mouth close. There is a scene after the confession scene, where Taku wanted to say something (probably about his past) after they talked about his mother, but decides not to even after Towa asked him about it. In the end after he gets released from prison Towa asked him again and he acts like he has no idea what he is talking about and just says something else. And this brings me to the thing that annoys me the most: How Taku deals with Towa’s mental health problems, or to say it simple, he just doesn’t. The first thing I noticed when I replayed it, Taku is acting like he doesn’t know about it, even though he does. Always saying how Towa behaviour (about him drinking, smoking and sleeping with guys) “was always like this” and saying that “your heart is still dead”. Taku you know exactly how horrible his past is how can you say such stuff??? He always tells Towa how he should stop doing it, but he doesn’t think about doing something to prevent it. I know that he is worried about him but the only thing he deals with are Towas wounds. His wounds may heal but his heart doesn’t if you keep putting only bandages on him Taku. He is really bad at dealing with mental problems, his way to get over it is just not to talk about, in the hope it will go away at some point but in Towa’s case it won’t ever go away, it is destroying him slowly from the inside.

He is also overprotective of Towa in a bad way, putting a chip in Towa after getting rid of Asakuras shitty DIY wings and even going as far as TRYING TO KILL Towa and I though Rei will be the yandere after Tonno tells him he won’t let Towa go after both of the get kidnapped by Toono. I understand that he wants to protect Towa and it is indeed dangerous to let Towa do what he wants because he doesn’t care for himself, but Towa need some kind of freedom, he is not stupid. He acts like Towa is his thing and I didn’t like this part. And the last thing, that left me in a uncomfortable feeling is in the very end he says Towa causes to many problem that why you should not leave him alone, but the goal would actually be to heal Towa to a point, where he does not need help anymore but we never get to it here sadly. (and please stop with the housewife Towa look in the end it hurts my eyes)

I also don’t like the age gap of 20 years in the relationship, because I cant deal with the thought of one person dying way before and leaving the other person behind but that’s a me problem.

The first time I was not sure what to think about Taku’s route but after knowing all this stuff and replaying the route, I just can’t like this pairing sorry.

All the things above are only about Taku and Towa’s relationship, I do like Taku as a person and I enjoyed that he is like a father figure toward Towa and like a family for him. It’s really cute that he really cares for Rei too and treats him like a son better than Rei’s trash father ever could like they are a small family.

Rei

From beginning we get to know Rei as Towa’s and Taku’s best friend, who speaks like a woman and acts a little like it, we also learn that he enjoys fighting and participate in deathmatches. His route is about his struggle with the deb his father (who is a piece of trash) has and his own gender. From the second chapter we learn that Rei is a pure soul, he is a good boy that does not see the bad in human. (Compared to Towa who had a bad feeling from the start) and Rei tells us that in his past he was always mistaken for a girl.

The first time playing his route, the whole thing about his gender felt really sudden but after replaying his route, they were some hints that Rei does struggle with it. Like him telling about his past and him asking Towa what is “manly”. Rei doesn’t want his friends to get involved with his problems that’s why he tries to keep his distance, but Towa is someone he can feel at peace with. Rei’s gender struggle comes from the fact that his parents treat him as a girl when he was a child, it really messed him up because he starts thinking that he was a girl, but still got kicked out by his father after telling him he is gay. Rei hated his own gender even going as far as trying to cut off his… in front of Towa. But through his love for fighting, he realized that he wants to be a man, and after talking (and fighting for fun) with Towa he decides he will now live and act as a man.

Not gonna lie, I really like Rei for his feminine side, though I never thought of him as a woman and while it makes me a little sad that he doesn’t want to be like it, I can accept that he wants to be a man, because in the end the “fem Rei” was never real. He was forced into this feminine roll and that was not the real Rei. What I like about his character is that, while he has his love for violence, he is still a innocent and pure soul. He really cares for others and only wants his best for his friends. (He is also the person, who is looking for true love and doesn’t sleep with others for fun) Even though his father is a big shit he still wants to help his father so he doesn’t start working with child trafficking again. He knows Towa since middle school and was always interested in him, but romantically only after the whole thing with Mizuno, when Towa protected him.

What I really didn’t like the first time I played it is that, while you can really feel that Rei likes Towa, Towa doesn’t share the same strong attraction. It felt more like Towa just agreed to this relationship in the end, but replaying it, I noticed that Towa does care for him in his own way, the first time it’s difficult to say because you don’t understand Towa’s personality. Towa always agrees do help Rei if he asked him for something and he worries about him. The relationship of all the pairings starts at the end of the game so it’s always difficult to say how it works out, but Towa did have a pleasant feeling after Rei’s confession and after they slept together. I want to see more development on Towa’s side because compared to his feeling for Taku in his route it felt weaker with Rei (for me), hopefully they explore it in the drama cd.

While Rei does say some things like Taku to Towa (that I didn’t like) I can’t blame him for it because he doesn’t know Towa’s past.

Regarding  Rei’s personality, I hope they don’t change to much about him, because it would be stupid to make a character and then change him after everyone already start liking him like the way he was. They changed his way of speaking (what you probably won’t notice if you don’t understand Japanese) which if fine, doesn’t bother me but if he will start saying stuff like “I can’t eat cake anymore because only woman do” …. Yeah please no. and he cut his beautiful long hair short noooo and it looks so bad please change it We have to wait and see how Rei’s change will affect him in the end, and I want to see how their relationship will develops  especially on Towa’s side

Madarame

I wanted to replay everything, just to make sure I didn’t forget anything, but with Madarame’s route I just had to give um in the middle. The first time I played it I went through it without problems because I was expecting something from it, sadly it never happened, but this time it was just like playing a never-ending bad end, and I just felt so sad that I had to stop playing. And now I can confidently say, I hate everything about this route. And I did give this route a chance because I don’t like to go into a game thinking I won’t like character, I try my best to understand the story and characters, but it was no use here. I just don’t understand why such a route was needed to for a character like Towa. Knowing how much Towa was abused in the past and that he suffers from extreme mental trauma because of this makes everything worse, this route really brings out the worst of Towa’s mental health issues.

Starting from the beginning we learn that Towa and Madarame used to hang out together and Towa did feel good hanging out with him (they were not in a relationship and there were no romantic feelings which is confirmed). Towa tells us that this was in the past and that he is not this person anymore, also he tells us that he doesn’t like following orders and doesn’t like treatment from Madarame, that’s why dealing with him is hard and after understanding this himself, he wanted to keep his distance. Of course this is not in Madarame’s favour, he want his “pet” all to himself (He even said Towa need an “owner”).So he kidnaps him and tries to break Towa, to let him remember how he used to be. For this he uses violence and treats Towa like shit. We know that he knows about Towa’s abuse in his childhood and still he uses the same horrible methods as Towa’s mother did, taking away his freedom and chaining him to a place, keeping him in silence which he hates. Raping him (of course Towa let it happen because he is used to it) and slowly breaking his mind so Towa starts thinking he needs Madarame. When Towa says something against him, he got angry or just straight up beats him. Towa has no freedom in this “relationship” it only goes the way Mada want it. There is no communication it’s just a typical “alpha male” top and controlled bottom dynamic between them. It was so sad seeing how Towa went against his friends after he spent some time under Madarame’s influence.

In the beginning Towa is so desperate that he would rather die than to be with Madarame, and I don’t know why we have to think this is “romantic” or some shit like that? Its funny how they tried to include them acting like a couple in the second half of the route. Like Madarame said Towa doesn’t need a collar anymore, sure because he is now manipulated into thinking he need Madarame. I will never forgive him for the emotional and physical abuse he let Towa go through in the beginning.

Madarame himself just feels like he is not even human, this guy has no feeling and his feeling for Towa are like a feeling you have for your pet (or better to say animal? Because you would treat your pet better) and he treats him like a pet. (I’m really not a fan of the whole “your mine” “you belong to me” thinking, human are not objects, just because you decide to be with someone doesn’t mean you are their property) I understand they wanted to go for the “he lives in the present not the past and he is honest and doesn’t lie” thing but it made him feel like he has no feeling at all. Showing that he likes cats made no sense to me, because what’s the point if he treats a cat better than Towa? Did they try to make him look like he has a loveable side? Because it sure didn’t feel like it for me. Trying to make abuse ok by showing that this guy likes animals in that case it’s totally ok …yeah sure not.

He really did everything to manipulate Towa into thinking that he needs to be on “this side”, the side that always abused him, by slowly breaking Towa. Towa himself has no understanding for right or wrong, he just does what he thinks is right for him in this moment, that’s how his brain works.  

Madarame says he and Towa are the same because both want violence, but I can only disagree, they couldn’t be any different Towa’s love for violence is a reflection of his abuse as a child, something that was done to him and he now thinks he needs, it’s something he does to try to cope with his trauma, his love for it is not real. While Mada on the other hand, likes it because who knows why it’s not like we ever get to learn anything about this guy because he never says anything. This guy wants nothing and is not interested in anything, I don’t get what I’m supposed to like here. The route ends with Towa and Madarame running away, leaving Towa life, his home and his friends that tried to protect him, to live their life on the streets fighting and enjoying violence, and for me this is the opposite of a good end, it’s just hurt knowing Towa is forever stuck in the circle of violence. (and blond hair really looks bad on him)

I played a lot of bl games and there is always abuse, rape and manipulation involved in almost every bl game, but this has to be the worst case of abuse I ever had to go through and this is coming from a person who likes Mink.

I may said a lot of negative stuff about Taku, but compared to Mada, Taku is an angel send from heaven Funny because Madarame says Taku is trash. The theme was to throw your past away and living in the present, but it felt more like let’s embrace the mental illness and violence.

(the only thing worth going through this hell one time is seeing Mayu, Kotarou and Towa in a suit, especially Towa looks very hot, boi)

The route had an interesting start, and they had a good backstory to write something good with all the stuff with Kaga and so one, but they did absolutely nothing with it and chose to make it about abuse, rape and manipulation, the easy way to force a “romance”(because there is no) into it, and in the year 2021 I expect just something better from it, consider how well the rest of the game is written. N+C really had to bring this rape abuse combination back, didn’t they? They got rid of some bl clichés and I’m thankful for it but we are only half through it, they still need time.

The route just felt extremely disappointing and made me feel horrible.

[ot3]

hey, i know you've talked about how part of the unique way QM is constructed comes from you not liking comics much but seeing it as a way to convey stories through illustration before, but as someone who relates to that, i'd like to ask if there's any piece of media (in comic form or any other medium, really) that breaks up the standard format of its respective art medium you enjoy/draw inspiration from when designing visual elements/composition? (its cool if there are none/you just don't feel like answering it btw i don't wanna bother)

i'm an animation enthusiast first and a human being second, and i was actually studying to eventually go into animation before i got too sick to stay in school, so most of my inspiration comes from there. probably only a couple surprises in this list but nonetheless ill go over my main inspirations

obviously into the spiderverse is the first and immediate thing i'd list for stuff i find inspiringly format-breaking of it's medium. in a way, what they're doing there is the exact opposite of what i'm doing - they wanted to make a movie that invokes reading a comic book, but i'm trying to draw a comic that feels like my favorite animated media.

the compositions and color design in spiderverse is the best in the game with almost no competition but i like the way they invoke paneling at key moments to show multiple things concurrently on the same larger frame and that's definitely part of what i've invoked

ethe revues in revue starlight are also some of my favorite bits of compositional work. they have these fantastic setpieces that they user to frame the fights and theyre all chock full of meaning and characterization, with the bonus being that since fight scenes happen rather fast the comps all have to have a very strong initial read.

like wow!!! just look at these!!! such beautiful stuff! i'll never get sick of watching them

and even if the show itself has no interest to you i really think everyone should watch the revues theyre sick as hell.

stole these screenshots from a medium article because i could so easily get distracted combing mob psycho for screenshots right now but mob psycho has a ton of fantastic compositions, a really fun blending of art styles, and a willingness to warp physical space for more interesting shots that make it one of the best looking animes of all time. 

cartoon saloon’s films (secret of kells, song of the sea, etc) are also a master class in shape language and geometric compositions. they’re unparalleled when it comes to heavy shape language over realistic perspective in animation. also the most effective use of intentional tangents in character design i’ve ever seen.

samurai jack was also DEEPLY formative for me in childhood. most of the screencaps i can easily find are from the newest season which i never actually saw, but the show has always had strong shapes, strong colors, and strong comps.

there’s also books my parents read to us as really young children that ABSOLUTELY left an imprint on my psyche

graeme base’s eleventh hour was one of my favorites because the whole book was this mystery about who ruined this fancy animal party and there were coded clues hidden in the book in the illustrations or their decorative frames. just really fun, whimsical, and detailed drawings

jan brett’s childrens books were always really cool as well, with their decorative borders that had other story elements happening in them alongside the main illustration. 

i spent a lot of time poring over these as a kid

then something i’m realizing now as i write this post is that my love of just drawing a ton of objects cluttering a drawing as a means of storytelling definitely stems from the i spy books. 

like these are all just DELIGHTFUL! theyre so much fun to look at and theyre literally designed to have you pore over everything. they’re devoid of life and motion, completely static, but still so alive and vibrant and dreamlike despite that. they absolutely beg your imagination to run wild thinking of where these objects might be and what they might be doing together and what it says about the imaginary person who owns them. i really just think theyre fantastic. maybe i should go buy some i spy books... im honestly kind of feeling it rn... id hang these up as prints i love them so much.

this one’s a bit of a pull but i really enjoy the illustrations from the card game dixit for similar reason. dixit is one of my favorite games, and the way it plays is you have to describe, narrate, or caption these abstract illustrations in a way that gets some, but not all of your fellows players to accurately guess what card you’ve played. all of the illustrations are rather simple with only a couple of main visual elements happening every time but once again, the elements are whimsical and dreamlike and offer a ton of depth in the story you can imagine around them. 

overall i think all of these things combined do a decent job of building up the underlying philosophy that dictates the way i draw, which is that everything should read very clearly immediately, but have enough detail, intrigue, or elements less grounded in reality that it invites a lot of speculation about the supposed narrative you’re being presented, or the artist’s intent. all of the stuff i’ve linked here you can tell what’s generally going on very quickly because the visuals are very well constructed and pleasing, but then there’s a ton to unpack in these clean visuals once you get down into the detail or concepts.

this definitely got long and self indulgent but i hope it gave you something to think about!

[some-dr-writings]

v3 girls x SHSL Toy Maker

Kaede Akamatsu:

·       Your girlfriend loved your toys. She’d always gush over them and would so happily watch as you worked away on any project without a care in the world. Her favorites though were the wooden ones, just seeing how you chiseled, sanded and worked with the wood was just so interesting to her.

·       Obviously, you gave her a toy piano for her birthday once, and it immediately was her most cherished possession. It was tiny, just big enough to be played with one hand, so Kaede took it wherever she went, keeping it close as a reminder of you and her most favorite thing in the world. It actually took her quite a bit of time to get used to it, but once she had mastered it, she’d play it whenever she wanted should there not be a piano around.

·       “Hey, how’s my pianist do- oh?” As you entered the dressing room you found Kaede playing you little toy piano. “Ah, Y/N! I thought no one aside from the performers were allowed backstage.” “Yeah… but who ever said I wouldn’t break the rules. I just had to come see you before the recital!” You eagerly sat beside her, just needing to get closer to that entrancing smile. “Getting in some extra practice before the big performance?” “Actually, no.” “Hmm?” She sheepishly laughed, holding your little piano close. “Just calming my nerves. Since I thought I couldn’t have you by my side, I started playing your piano. It’s helped a lot.” It became a tradition for Kaede to play you piano before any performance. It was able to calm her no matter what song she played on it.

·       Whenever it was out of tune, even just a little she’d immediately take it to you for repairs. It was usually a quick fix, but she still loved watching you work away on repairing it.

·       You also began making little music boxes for yourself. Though not pianos, you placed in Kaede’s favorite songs and before going to sleep, would wind one and have it play should the pair of you be apart. Sometime you’d even send her one so she’d know you were thinking of her.

    Kirumi Tojo:

·       Like for everyone else, she wanted to be our maid and assist you in whatever way she could and help you become even greater than you already were. “Oh, uh… Sorry, but I don’t need anything. I won’t want much either. I’ve heard how people you work for become amazing and stuff, but… I’m happy with my simply life. I don’t want it to get any greater than this. Honestly, only reason I came to Hope’s Peak is so I’d have an excuse to make more toys without my guardians telling me to study more. I’d be happy to be your friend though! Are there any toys you liked as a kid, I know I could make a nice one for you!” On occasion you’d amuse Kirumi and accept her assistance, but for the most part you’d simply decline and ask if you could make anything for her.

·       Kirumi truly just enjoyed helping others, there was nothing else she wanted so it seemed no toy would be of satisfaction to her, only after getting together did you finally come up with something. “A doll?” “Yeah! If somehow you can’t find anything to do for anyone, you can serve the doll. Its pockets are filled with requests for you to do for it, and if this doesn’t feel like real requests to do for you, I request that you care for the doll when you have nothing else to take care of!” “I will do my utmost to fulfill your wish.” You didn’t think Kirumi would actually play with the doll, but the smile on her face at finally receiving a request from you was enough to make you know it was worth it.

·       Surprisingly on occasion you would see Kirumi entertaining the doll, whether it be it be having tea parties, or one of the many other requests you had written down. You eventually found out that no matter where Kirumi went, she took the doll with her in case she had a moment of free time she could dedicate to it. You were her partner after all, though she did so for everyone, for you especially she wanted to complete your requests to the best of her abilities. And thought it never came up in conversation, she always had it around because she liked having something you had placed so much time and effort into just for her nearby.

   Himiko Yumeno:

·       Both being entertainers of sorts you both immediately clicked, you both loved making others smile and bringing joy to them through your work.

·       Not only did you and Himiko become romantic partners but business partners as well, you making and selling various toys based off of Himiko, her magic, and of her ‘familiar’ as well. They were a big hit with both children and adults. Sometimes you and Himiko would have long discussions bouncing ideas off one another about what toys to make next. An action figure? A wand? Perhaps some stuffies or a magic broom stick? On occasion one of you would start to go more abstract like suggest something like a pinball machine or soundboard, maybe even a skateboard. Sometimes it became a sort of competition for who could come up with the most outlandish, yet realistic and feasible items to make and sell.

·       Often you’d spend your time whittling away making toys for Himiko, she rather enjoyed them, no matter what they may be. She also liked watching you make them. You were so skilled with those fingers and many other things like woodworking, sewing, painting, and other such things. Sometimes she’d toy with the idea of you being her assistant.

·       You always had Himiko test your toys to make sure they worked properly if they were more electronic in nature or some such.

·       You both liked doing whatever you could to support one another through your own pursuits, you were simply great partners for one another.

   Maki Harukawa:

·       Being with you always felt… nostalgic to her, especially when you made toys for younger children. How you were so tender, kind, and respectful to them, you reminded her of how many of the older kids at the orphanage acted when they weren’t tired and annoyed at having to be babysitters all the time.

·       You had taken to making and donating toys to orphanages, mostly to the one Maki was from though. You were only one person so you couldn’t make many too quickly, but what you did make was durable and could last for several generations while still being fun and not needing too much maintenance.

·       You also gave Maki toys on occasion and would play with them with her. Since she had to spend most of her childhood training you wanted to give her a little something to let her indulge in just being carefree for a time. She cherished these gifts and moments almost more than anything else. Being with you was always just so nice and peaceful.

·       You taught Maki a few things like how to sew. It took a long time, there were many failed attempts and bleeding fingers, but she eventually got the hang of it. She’d sometimes help you with your projects or even repair some of the kids’ clothes, it started with simple things like you asking her to connect two basic pieces or her adding a patch to some pants, eventually though she was able to do more complicated things. She made a doll for you and a few for the kids. In return for all that you had taught her, Maki would teach you self-defense. Though unlikely it was not impossible for a person to attack you one day so she wanted you to be safe. In her line of work, she couldn’t be attached to anyone, but now you and Kaito and Shuichi and others were in your life, she had connections to people she wanted to be around, so even if it wasn’t much, even if it wasn’t enough to save you should you become an assassin’s target, you could at least not be too troubled by our average crook.

·       You were her irreplaceable partner, she adored you, and for as long as she could, she’d keep you as close as she could, just making little toys with you.

   Tenko Chabashira:

·       She adored everything you made, gushing over how adorable it all was. And she showed every last toy off, much to your embarrassment at times. She was rather loud with her affection, making it so that the whole world knew. Even complete strangers would know the pair of you were partners and that according to your girlfriend, you made the best toys the world had ever known.

·       Often Tenko would drag Himiko into testing your latest creations in order to make sure they worked correctly.

·       Tenko insisted that you teach her how to make toys and she teach you Neo Akkido. She’d say that learning her form of Akkido would help you be a better toy maker, and her learning how to make toys would help her improve her Neo Akkido.  You had no idea how in the world this could work, but just about any excuse to spend more time with your girlfriend was a good excuse in your book, so you eagerly agreed…

·       The training was much more than you expected. She didn’t teach you anything and just went straight to fighting you full force, and you just had to make up your own form to keep up and avoid getting too injured, but you did learn how to fight so her training did work.

·       You were much more gentle when it came to teaching her though her energy and enthusiasm could cause problems at times like accidentally knocking over items and the like. At least it was still fun.

·       Being together could be rather chaotic at times, but it was well worth it.

   Tsumugi Shirogane:

·       Your friendship began with a bet and through it a more romantic relationship bloomed. Tsumugi was showing off a very expensive, limited edition figure she had just gotten in the mail. “Wait, how expensive? But it’s so cheap! You should get your money back, or at least at a discounted price.” Obviously, this comment ticked off the girl, and a bet was made, if you could make a figure of the same character of higher quality that could simultaneously be less expensive from the cost of materials, you prove your point, if not you’d have to apologize to Tsumugi.

·       Not only did you win the bet, Tsumugi absolutely loving your figure, but you had also accidentally won her heart in the process.

·       Tsumugi still bought merchandise of her favorite anime and you always made such things for her despite that, though she did teach you why the official merchandise was so important to her. Often you’d end up analyzing the items whether they still be in the package or not, differing what it’s true price would be without the brand association. If it didn’t match you’d make your own version for Tsumugi which happened more often than not, but the few times you deemed the product worth the price it was a pleasant surprise.

·       Being deft at sewing and many other skills you often assisted Tsumugi in making her cosplays! She even convinced you to indulge in her passion as well. You much preferred making them, and seeing others wear them, but play-acting as the characters could be fun.

·       Sometimes when Tsumugi was at cons or other such similar events, she’d send you toy she found that you might like or might inspire your work. She’d also send you materials for your work, maybe even have you keep some for her own work.

·       Sometimes you’d watch whatever anime Tsumugi was most recently obsessed with when she was away. It was something to remind you of her in particularly lonely moments. Tsumugi would do something similar, play with the toys you had given her.

·       Though things could be rocky on occasion, you were able to work things out and you couldn’t want for another partner.

   Angie Yonaga:

·       “Oh my, how divine! I’m sure Atua has blessed you for such wondrous art!”

·       Angie completely adored and whole heartedly loved your toys, always calling them your art. Whenever she found you working, she always left you be as to not distract you, knowing she’d want you to do the same if she were working on her art. She’d even go out of her way to get more materials for you if she had noticed if you were starting to run low or if you were using one particular material a lot for a time. If any of your tools broke or needed repair, she already knew just the place to get another one of high quality.

·       As one ‘blessed by Atua’ you were the only person she allowed to be in the same room with her as she worked, as long as you were working as well. This was for two reasons, one, to not distract her and two, so that Atua may take possession of you too and help make your creations even more wonderful!

·       Though she never needed inspiration, because she had Atua, she would go walking around town with you to do whatever, giving you a new change of pace, which would hopefully help you get out of your rut and be filled with new creativity to create more!

·       Even with her colorful background, she understood you more than most others ever could when it came to your work. She would do anything to assist you, because aside from her god, you were the person she loved most.

   Miu Iruma:

·       “Hey, you’re the toy maker, right?” “Yes?” “You can make adult toys, right?” “What do you take me for!?... Of course I can!” “Oh ho ho, This’ll be fun!”

·       Miu was certainly an interesting client turned partner. Whatever you made, she wanted to add improvements to it, no matter how off the wall it may be. She was in inventor after all so tinkering with toys likely just came naturally to her.

·       What you did find surprising though is that she never wanted you to make anything sexual for her. She never admitted it directly, but she always just wanted normal toys. Model train sets, bouncy balls, remote control cars, simple things like those. Often, she’d end up ‘enhancing’ them in her own way, yet still, she wouldn’t ask for anything else. For as lewd and crude as she could be there was something about her that was also young at heart in a way, in fact that could be why she was so loud and overconfident much of the time. But then you’d remember that you’re teenagers and you were sounding like an older person with this line of thinking and would stop yourself.

·       Miu would insist on working in her lab so she could make tweaks to your designs as you were making them. Things usually got out of hand like making a toy robot that could turn into a cannon and shoot fireworks, or it’d have rocket fists powerful enough to knock out a full grown, healthy adult. Not long after making such items Kokichi would pop up, asking to borrow your toys, and who were you to deny him, toys were meant to be played with, and inevitably not long later you’d hear of Kokichi’s latest prank involving whatever toy Kokichi had borrowed from you and Miu, often getting a laugh out of her.

·       Things usually got out of hand rather quickly when you were with one another, but it was a fun, calm sort of chaos