#this was a mistake but I'm committed to the bit
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"Daily" 2025 sketchbook
01/22 - 01/28
Incomprehensible character scribbles, Neo nostalgia, and trying to draw a place I saw in a dream
#daily 2025 sketchbook#this was a mistake but I'm committed to the bit#got nothing to show for 1/29-2/4 tho. was in a bit of a drunken haze that week#can't promise it won't happen again
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qsmp makes me feel like a conspiracy theorist almost constantly. I see someone go "yeah bad almost exclusively chooses tophats in games when given the option" and I immediately run back to my conspiracy board and pin that next to the photo of q!slime and q!mariana saying they'll adopt juanaflippa because she has glasses like q!slime/q!mariana respectively under a sticky note captioned "??? the original spanish-english egg pairs were designed in a way meant to attract certain parents to adopting them???", that's connected by red string to a note pad page stating "how random was the parent pairing REALLY?" with nothing under it - which is then connected to a string that leads to several polaroids containing the ending(s) of the wall and the wreckage of the button, captioned "why build a wall that big only to have it end at a certain point?" followed by a string connected to a notebook page in the middle of the board reading "the illusion of choice?" - connected to several other seemingly dead-end questions and theories, as well as some slight stragglers only connected to eachother and not the middle. and then I look over my board covered in feverish notes and I go. yeah okay so I may just have like a slight problem
#quesadilla island and the illusion of choice.#i am so normal#I spent. a little bit too long on this bit I think.#saying stuff#I have more thoughts but it's just the generic stuff.#why does the federation want the residents on the island so badly. how did wilbur even leave the island.#why did islanders from the island itself vs others who aren't arrive the same way. what the fuck is up with the codes.#why do the feds insist on having a good rapport with the islanders. why do they try to desensitize them to their presence via tasks.#why do they try so hard to look non-threatening to the point even grunt workers carry around bubble wands to blow on the regular.#a lot of this is easily “the federation wants to build trust” but that's also a why. what do they stand to gain from doing that.#hold on where's my nerd tag#i think.#oh my god really.#that's. okay yeah that checks out actually#qsmp#quackity smp#q!cellbit a man of the people (I am burning with questions about the federation all of the time oh my god.)#edit if you see spelling mistakes in this post do not correct me please I have a fragile ego#I did not notice until four hours had passed and now I'm committed to pretending I do not in fact care about it
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//the best part of most of y'all knowing very little about tftgs aside from what i tell you is that i really can just lie to you and none of y'all can correct me.
#you know this whole thing is one big experiment‚ right? and you're the little mouse? {ooc}#//if any of the like two of you who do know noticed the mistake i made#//no you didn't#//i'm committing to the bit
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Spoke to my idol the other day.
#sirius is rambling again#text post#it's odd#i'd have thought they were just as inaccessible as the others#but they were weirdly chatty and i felt like if i pushed too much they'd grow disinterested#so i kind of gave them a cut-off reply#online of course i don't have irl idols#i know everyone is human and putting people on a pedastel is a recipe for disaster#but i really admired them a lot from afar and figured i'd throw some words of encouragement at them when they were feeling a bit unsure#of themselves#kind of happened on pixiv as well#i thought the language barrier would make it so that i wouldn't be able to communicate with them#but it seems everyone and their mom is bilingual (except me)#and they responded with enthusiasm#it's so strange to me#i keep thinking that i'm basically spunk under a pipe#yet i get humored every now and then by people whose talents i respect#i don't know whether to feel encouraged or somewhat offput#part of me wants or expects my idols to be stuck-up assholes as my childhood idols had been#you know - the ones that would make fun of you for being unsure#but i think every art idol i managed to speak to thus far has been weirdly nice to me specifically#not to say they weren't assholes or groomers or something heinous of the sort#i hope i am not anyone's idol#i had been told that i was in the past and it was a weird responsibility to bear#because it makes the weight of your words multiply#i almost didn't want them to see me as a human or that i made mistakes#so that i could give them some sort of stable footing y'know?#but that was in the apst and they don't even spare me a second thought these days#due to barriers#i wonder if making new accounts like this is how i escape from commitment
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i had a good day i like having things to do but unfortunately i have just remembered i am insane</3
#currently. in this moment#currently i can't stand the enorrrrmous gap between what i recognize as good writing + how committed i am to improving the skill#(not very) (i am not committed i have never committed or honed any skill as it's a very vulnerable position to put yourself in)#(or let me rephrase that i feel unusually insecure and existentially threatened when i have to start from zero and make mistakes)#(which is basically all of life. so it's abnormal i know it is. but it's where i am right now and i'm not climbing out of this one anytime#soon)#so listen i didn't sign up for this. i don't even want this really and i double triple quadruple don't want rules and advice and#indirect criticism. the latter no one at all on planet earth can avoid bc every sentiment and opinion expressed can reflect on you in a way#where was i what gap. right so i am not actually disciplined or motivated to learn/discover/get better at creating something#so that's the gap‚ i know what i should be trying to do or what i should want or what i should strive for. i know why. i see i hear#i understand#it's just that‚ i am aware that psychologically that is not in my best interest#like long-term it is but in actuality it isn't. d'you know what i mean?#but i have my compulsions. and those don't care they operate on a different level#so there is a bit of an opposition. so what happens‚ and this is the important part‚ what happens is i do it and i feel bad.#unless i close my eyes and ears. and i feel bad right now#and i'm bummed#and then i question everything and wonder why i'm alive#and i said insane because if i didn't have compulsions and obsessions? if i lived a real tactile present life. day to day and only cared#about how i can improve my life and the lives of others. and how i can become useful#directly. if i was someone who could access that. then i wouldn't have this problem#i know this sounds like “if i was different i would be different which would be good”. and that is exactly what i'm saying yeah#so this is my journal entry for today. i felt good when i was doing something simple for 9 hours and then i 🧠made myself feel bad#kata.txt#writing tag
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Prima Nocta
Marcus Acacius x Virgin!F!Reader oneshot
{ Main Masterlist }
Rating: E (18+ only)
Summary: Tomorrow, you will marry your husband-to-be. But tonight - it belongs to his father.
Word count: 6k
Warnings: DUB CON only due to nature of prima nocta, both parties enthusiastically consent, twist on prima nocta, unspecified age gap, loss of virginity, dirty talk, oral sex (F receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex, unrealistic descriptions of first sexual experience, all manners of historical inaccuracies and linguistic anachronisms sorry not sorry, ignores the events of the movie so you can consider this an AU, Marcus is widowed and has a son, shall we call this bfd: Ancient Rome version lmao
Notes: I'm a bit rusty for sure, but I had the absolute best time writing this oneshot. It's a departure from my usual themes to say the least, but once this idea took hold of me it never let go. I know prima nocta is meant to be invoked on the wedding night, but I like the idea of it being the night before so I made it so 🤷🏻♀️ Gorgeous dividers by @firefly-graphics as always.
He thought he had gotten away with it. Having lived more than fifty winters in the capital and outlasting eight emperors, he regrets to confess that he is still none the wiser.
It would have been such a clever manoeuvre. Palming off a generous but very much unwanted gift from the emperors, and marrying off his son in one fell swoop.
He should have been suspicious of their swift assent to his proposal. In his eagerness to bow out of their audience, it had been convenient to dismiss the flash of malice in their eyes.
And in the snake pits of Roman court, no misstep goes unexploited.
He is not proud that he is caught off guard by the emperor’s closest advisor who intercepts his walk home from the armoury, even less so of his ineloquent response to the missive handed to him.
‘What is this?’
‘Urgent word from the emperors, sir.’
Cold sweat prickles the back of his neck as he stares unseeingly at what is scrawled on the parchment.
‘I cannot,’ he blurts out, indignance rising fast and hot in his chest. ‘I will not.’
‘You think it wise to twice refuse the emperors’ generosity, general?’
General. To him, the culmination of a lifetime of service and sacrifice. To them, an instrument of bloodshed in war, a plaything in peacetime.
Desperate, he tries a different tact. ‘The right of the first night belongs to the emperors. I dare not commit sacrilege.’
‘It is not sacrilege if it is freely bequeathed upon you, general.’
There is no mistaking the warning lilt in the last word, and he has no answer.
‘The hour grows late. You had better not keep the bride waiting,’ says the advisor with an air of finality before retreating into the shadows.
Marcus shudders at the cold that settles into the empty space, fingers stained with ink from the now crumpled dispatch.
He remembers nothing of the remainder of his short journey to his quarters. As the front door swings open, he realises there is something in the night air that is out of place.
Sea salt.
You are here.
Would you be demure? Frightened? You are of royal lineage, a lady of the small but proud coastal kingdom strong-armed by Rome into an unequal treaty for its profitable trading posts, in return for the mercy of not being razed to its fertile grounds.
And now, you are lowered to marry a general’s son.
Worse, lowered to have your virginity taken by his father.
Candlelight spills from the crack underneath the door to his bedchamber. Marcus takes a deep breath, and pushes it open.
You hear him. The swish of fabric, the slide of leather soles on marble.
The general is here.
Your hand in marriage is part of the terms of the treaty, and the missive that sent for you announced your match as the widowed hero general. You had him cast on the wretched journey from your home as one of the domineering, brutish soldiers now garrisoned at your family’s kingdom - only to be told on your arrival that you will be marrying his son instead.
Relief at the news that your future husband would not be decades older than you is instantly snatched away by furtive whispers of prima nocta.
Your future father-in-law will take you first.
The humiliation is bitter on your tongue. You are Rome’s to marry off, hers to give to whomever she pleases -
But she won’t break you.
The door creaks. You stand tall and hold your ground.
He sweeps into the room with an air of well-worn authority, the cloak on his back dark as the shadows that nip at his heels.
The candles flicker when he sheds the heavy robes with a smooth sweep of his arm.
You stare, in a manner that would have had your lady-in-waiting tutting. But you are alone, very much so, with this man not ten paces from you.
General Marcus Acacius.
He is older, certainly old enough to have a son your age. But you had not imagined him so - strong, for the lack of a more imaginative word. His shoulders are broad under his wine red tunic, and you can see the muscles in his arms flex as he clenches and unclenches his fists at his sides. From where you stand, you can hardly see any silver in his dark curls.
Marcus unflinchingly assesses you right back.
No, you are decidedly not demure. Or frightened. Far from it.
You are defiant, even as you observe him with evident curiosity. Your head held high, a telltale sign of your noble breeding, mouth set in a stern line while your eyes burn bright with a proud fire.
Judging the silence has gone on long enough, he breaks it with a formal, ‘My lady.’
‘General,’ you answer steadily.
The door slams shut belatedly behind him, and you flinch - the first glimpse of weakness you concede.
Marcus breathes in, delivering his next sentence with as much composure as he can muster. ‘I expect you have been informed of the - formalities that we are to perform tonight.’
You grind your teeth so hard you are astonished that your jaw doesn’t crack.
Your virtue is just a formality.
Refusing to dignify his question with an answer, you nod once.
He watches you wordlessly, and you meet his gaze. You thought you would find something else there, not the regret that you see.
Turning away from you, he reaches for the amphora on the table.
‘Wine?’
‘Yes, please.’
The wine is drunk in silence and moderation. Him at his desk, you perched on the end of the bed.
As you sip, pacing yourself, you observe the general discreetly from across the small distance between you.
To say that you are disconcerted by his behaviour would be an understatement.
You assumed that he asked for this - for the perverse pursuit of deflowering his son’s bride-to-be while eschewing the unwanted responsibility of a wife.
Yet, watching him stare pensively into his goblet, lips pursed in a pout that is almost sullen, you are not so certain anymore.
When you bring your drink to your mouth to find it empty, you clear your throat. ‘I have to wake up early tomorrow morning - for the wedding.’
The general starts before collecting himself, drawing himself up to his full height as he sets down his cup with a heavy clunk. ‘Understandably, my lady.’
Then he moves, charting a course across the room, licking his thumb and index finger to douse the candles dotted around the space.
The thought comes to you unbidden - he has thick fingers. And big hands.
Your cheeks tingle with heat.
Soon the chamber is cloaked in darkness, save for the candles next to the bed, the warm light pooling in the most inviting manner on the soft surface despite your trepidation. You long to rest your aching feet.
He comes to a standstill on the other side of the bed, as if waiting for you to take the lead. You cannot decide whether you are thankful for him not imposing on you, or frustrated at him for not taking the lead in what is very much unfamiliar territory.
In the end, the desire to get off your feet wins out, and you gesture at the bed. ‘Shall we…?’
‘Certainly.’ He bends down, you assume to take off his sandals. You do the same, toeing off the soft leather slides the maids had you change into when they dressed you.
Once barefoot, you climb in with as much grace as you can summon, acutely aware that you have an audience. Your knees sink into the mattress, and you’re relieved that it is stuffed with feathers, luxuriously giving under your weight. Shifting primly, you find your back against the headboard, cushioned by equally soft pillows.
The general follows suit, the frame creaking as he eases onto the suddenly too small bed, strong shoulders brushing yours as he settles next to you.
You stare hard at the back of your hands, the only way to stop your gaze from wandering to the span of his fingers splayed wide on sturdy thighs, or lower to the bony ridge of his knees - gods, you must be unwell, since when have you been drawn to knees?
You are still questioning the state of your sanity when the general, who has been nothing but unperturbed and composed since he stepped into the room, stumbles over his words in a manner that is neither, as if he had held the question behind his teeth for too long.
‘Are you - are you absolutely certain - in no doubt - that you are… untouched?’
His question stings like salt in a festering wound. Indignant doesn’t even begin to describe the retort you spit at him. ‘Yes, I am. Are you?’
Peering at you sideways, his eyes widen at your outburst, and fear briefly flits across your heart that you have overstepped.
But then, he surprises you with a smile. ‘You bite, don’t you?’
You let your shoulders sag, too far gone to hold onto your facade.
‘It’s been a long day, sir,’ you admit. ‘To be frank, I just want to get this over with and forget it ever happened.’
He pauses at your confession, as if weighing his options. Then he shifts, and says, ‘The reason I ask if you were untouched is because, if you were not - we could have just pretended we did this.’
You frown. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I did not invoke prima nocta, it was imposed upon me. The emperors are displeased that I turned down the betrothal, this is their way of punishing me for my ungratefulness.’
Oh.
As much as you didn’t want this either, your pride suffers to hear him describe it as a punishment.
‘I know…’ you stumble, halting to steel yourself. ‘I know I am nothing like the women here in Rome. I spend too much time in the sun, and my hands are rough from working with horses -’
‘Why do you say that?’ he interrupts you.
You look away. ‘That is why you do not wish to marry me, is it not? And why you do not want this - why you do not want me.’
The general sits up, palms on the mattress to support his weight, the lines on his forehead deepening with a frown. ‘No, that is not the reason. You are young, you deserve a husband who can build a life with you in the years to come. Not a washed-up widower.’
The bitterness in his voice turns your head.
‘You’re not washed up, from what I hear.’ Somehow, you find the courage to add boldly, ‘Or from what I see.’
Letting your eyes trail unabashedly over his broad frame, a thrill chases through your blood when you notice his Adam’s apple bob with a tight swallow. He’s so close that you know you’re not imagining the heat seeping into your bones.
Silence stretches between you, charged with a consciousness that creeps in and spreads. Two souls from different worlds and stations put in a situation in which neither of you had a hand. This may not be how you imagined giving away your virtue - far from it - yet your stomach twists in anticipation.
You glance upwards, only to find him already watching you.
Something has shifted when you so bravely reached out and tipped the balance with your words. He can tell that you are not one for flippant flattery, and it takes him a moment to collect himself, harder said than done with the blood roaring in his ears.
When he speaks, it comes out in a much lower register than he intends, so much so it sounds like a secret.
‘You say you just want to get this over with. But I can - I can make it good for you. It doesn’t have to be something you want to forget.’
Your eyes widen and your lips part, and heat blooms almost uncomfortably in his chest. ‘You would do that for me?’
‘I will serve you in whatever way you ask of me tonight, my lady.’
Never have mere words, albeit delivered in such a delicious baritone, moved you so. You came in expecting to have your virtue stripped from you, the same way Rome callously stole you away. Where you thought humiliation and dishonour awaited, this man is offering deliverance and devotion - if only for one night.
Your throat tight with emotion, you nod in lieu of a spoken answer.
Marcus is deliberately slow in his movements, wanting you to feel safe in his presence. ‘How much do you know? So I know what I need to teach you.’
Despite yourself, shyness rears its head and you mumble, ‘I’ve - I’ve heard stories. I know what… happens… between a man and a woman in the bed chamber.’
He nods reassuringly, making you feel less of a fool for the juvenile answer you gave. ‘And has anyone touched you before?’
There’s no mistaking the lurch in your stomach as your heart hammers violently. ‘No. No one. Never.’
The protector in him stirs, summoned to duty, warring with the desire that seethes under his skin like the unholy flames of Vesuvius. He fears it is a quickly losing battle.
Reading the desire in your endearingly open face, Marcus reaches over you to settle one hand on your hip as he leans close, his breath warm on your cheek.
‘Have you ever kissed a man?’ he rasps.
You shake your head, eyes fixated on his mouth, framed by a tidy moustache. He is so close that you can see his beard is flecked with silver.
You swear the general is leaning into you, and every inch of you is on tenterhooks, enraptured by his proximity -
‘You should save it for your husband.’
You barely forestall the whine of protest that teeters on the tip of your tongue, pinching your lips together, but his lopsided smile tells you that he knows.
‘I can kiss you elsewhere though.’
‘Oh,’ you inhale shakily when he dips to mouth at the side of your neck, landing on your pulse point in a suckle. Your whole body arches off the bed, hands gripping the sheets, head spinning at all the sensations that are new to you - the burn of his stubble, the cool trail his lips leave behind -
Then the palm on your hip pulls you into him, sprawling you against the wide cage of his body, your breasts pressed against his broad chest. The dress they put you in is thin, and the fabric rubs against your pebbling nipples as his kisses travel daringly low.
‘Am I going too fast?’ he pauses, voice strained.
Breathlessly, you shake your head.
‘If you want me to stop, or wait, you say the word. Understood?’
‘Yes, general.’
Two words he hears daily from his men, and yet from your lips, they unleash a dangerously feral side of him.
More. Is the only coherent thought that remains.
Impatient hands reposition you so that you are astride him, and he groans when you slot flush in his lap. He watches your eyes widen at what you feel between your legs. Your dress rides up, and his blood rushes south at the bare expanse of your inner thighs on his skin.
‘I want to see you,’ he speaks plainly, palms squeezing the dip of your waist. ‘May I undress you? Please?’
All decorum flees you, and you might have chanted yes, yes, yes to his question.
Dropping your chin, you watch his thick fingers nimbly undo the knot holding the front of your dress together. The silk capitulates like water, tumbling down in delicate drapes around your waist, baring you to his heated gaze.
‘You are beautiful,’ he declares with a solemnity that steals your breath.
And it is easy to believe him, the way his dazed eyes trail over your breasts, before his hands follow. Calloused palms, which you are sure have held many a sword in triumph, now cup your tender flesh in reverence.
Your head lolls to the side as he teases you, but when he rolls his hips upwards, your eyes snap to the pained expression on his face. You’ve heard ladies in court whispering over wine about length and girth, but nothing could prepare you for the thrill of feeling a man’s undeniable desire for you.
Instinct guides you, moving your hips so that you are grinding against his length, seeking relief from what is building deep within you.
‘Do what feels good,’ the general murmurs encouragingly, palms on the small of your back to let you take control.
And just like that, you are thrown back to one summer’s day in your youth. You were bathing in a rock pool, under the spray of a waterfall in perfect solitude when you accidentally slipped forwards on the smooth stone surface. The unexpected sensation between your legs ripped through you like lightning on a clear day. And you chased that feeling, hips undulating until you shuddered and cried out. Knees trembling in the aftermath, you never dared to seek it out again, but neither did you forget.
And now, years later, you finally know what had transpired. Pleasure. And this time, under the general’s hooded gaze, you pursue it with single-minded determination.
Marcus wishes you knew how beautiful you are in this very moment. Breasts swaying in tandem while you rock back and forth on his clothed length, eyes glazed, every whimper from your swollen lips making him throb harder for you.
‘Good girl,’ he rasps, throat tight. ‘Take your pleasure. Take what you need.’
And when he sucks your nipple into his mouth, you wail, tipping forward at an angle that unexpectedly takes you apart.
The waves that wash over you are more intense than you remember, and you are sure that has to do with the man holding your hips to his as you buck, and the warm swirl of his tongue against your breasts, sucking and nipping as you come down from your high.
‘That was not your first time,’ he states as a matter of fact when the white noise in your ears finally fades.
‘It happened once, a long time ago, and I didn’t understand then -’
‘And now you do.’
‘Yes, general.’
This time, he lets loose a moan at your words. ‘I can feel your wetness through your dress.’
Confused, you look down, and your cheeks burn when you spot the dark patch on the delicate fabric. ‘Oh, I -’
‘It’s natural,’ he assures you. ‘The wetness makes it easier for -’
It dawns on you when you feel his hardness twitch under you. Oh.
‘It - you feel -’ you stutter, struggling to comprehend how the girth of what you are sitting on could possibly fit inside you.
Taking your hand, Marcus presses a chaste kiss to your palm, eyes warm and open.
‘We will take it slow. I will use my fingers first, to prepare you for me,’ he explains patiently. ‘I promised I would make it good for you, did I not?’
‘You did.’
And you have complete faith in him.
Your knees knock into each other hopelessly when he slides you off his lap, and he has to bodily prop you up against the pillows. Sinking into the soft feathers, you watch him kneel between your parted legs, and you feel so safe even as he towers over you.
‘May I disrobe you?’
You bite your bottom lip, and nod.
Except it’s not a disrobing, it’s nothing near as civil as that. The general rips the rest of your dress clean down the middle, rendering you completely bare beneath him.
Marcus knows should be ashamed of his brash behaviour. But how could he when you react so viscerally, jaw slack as your chest heaves in unmitigated desire?
His gaze shamelessly trail over every curve and dimple, from the breasts he has tasted to where your knees are demurely closed, and knowing that he is the first - the only - to have laid eyes on you makes him impossibly hard.
It matters not that you are not his to keep. This will always be his.
‘You are exquisite,’ he professes, voice tight.
You duck your head, more shy of his compliments than being nude before him. ‘You don’t have to.’
Sliding a finger under your chin and tilting your head until you meet his gaze, he assures you, ‘I mean every word.’
Then he moves down the bed until he can rest his weight on his elbows, and you startle when rough palms glide over the outside of your thighs, stopping at your knees.
He pauses to give you time. ‘Are you certain you wish to continue?’
Your answer is a confident yes.
Then, as if opening the shell of Venus, he delicately pries your knees apart, and his breath hitches as you are revealed to him.
He is aware that he’s staring like an imbecile, words failing him. As the silence stretches on, you become self-conscious.
‘General,’ you demur, moving to cover yourself.
Shaking his head, he finally says, ‘Forgive me, but you are perfect.’
Then he looks up at you with such intensity that has you struggling to catch your breath, and without breaking eye contact, he bows his head -
And closes his lips over you there.
You are wholly unprepared - no one has ever gossiped about this in court. Your hips buck violently off the bed, but Marcus holds you down with reassuring hands, suckling on the pearl between your thighs with gentle laps of his tongue.
‘Oh, oh, oh,’ you stuttter, torn between watching the man wreak the most devastating pleasure on you and averting your gaze.
You’ve only ever known worship to be pious, and yet, this most vulgar adulation is the closest you’ve been to the gods.
His beautiful curls brush the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, catching the candle light as he moves, and the crook of his nose - so proud even with the scar on its bridge - draws patterns on your skin as he stakes his claim where no one has ever touched you.
You quickly realise that what you felt just now in the general’s lap was insignificant and thin in comparison. This pleasure is all-consuming, something divine that has you weak and trembling all over. All you hear are slick, wet sounds of tongues and lips, and your own whimpers between garbled groans.
Marcus feasts on you, unapologetically. Flattening his tongue, he tastes you in broad sweeps, moaning into your sweet cunt as you writhe above him, your needy mewls driving him to the edge of madness. You taste like fig - the earthiness of the purple peel, ripe sweetness of the pink flesh.
Then your hands wind into his hair, pulling him closer, ankles hooking over his shoulders. He groans harder, the sound rattling in his ribs as you soak his beard. Surrendering any last vestiges of shyness, you rock against his tongue, nails scratching his scalp as you whine louder into the night air.
Moans that will echo long after you’re gone.
The thought alone hardens his resolve to mark you unequivocally. You’re close, your pliant body quivering and breaths coming in shallow gasps now. He peers up at you, but your eyes are sealed shut and upturned at the gods, your breasts heaving.
Gently, he eases one finger inside you, and he grunts at how easily he slides in. You barely react, and so he pushes back in with two, coaxing a cry from you. Your cunt clenches as he gently thrusts his digits in and out, stretching your tight walls.
‘Oh gods. Oh gods,’ you pant violently.
You’re close, so close. He wants to warn you of what is to come, but it feels like sacrilege to tarnish the moment with words. When he feels you begin to quiver, he laves at your clit harder, burying his fingers inside you to the knuckle, until he feels you crest and break.
‘Gods, oh gods - Marcus!’
The cry of his name catches him off guard. He nearly loses control right there and then, as you ride out your high on his fingers, but by some miracle he holds out through gritted teeth. He devotes his attention to kissing his way up your body, from the slick inside of your thighs, to the side of your hip, making you jump when he sucks on your sensitive breasts.
You stare at his mouth with wild, dark eyes, and him at yours, but he vowed to leave your first kiss to your husband. Girding his self-restraint, he asks, ‘Are you alright?’
‘Yes, Marcus.’
His cock twitches at the sound of his name on your lips. He wants to hear you say it in all manners of ways - whisper it, gasp it, scream it. And by the cheekiness in your smile, it’s clear that you know what he’s thinking.
Your eyes drop to where his hardness is pressed against you. ‘Will you teach me how to please you, general?’
He swallows a groan, the animal in him rattling the bars of its cage. He replies diplomatically, ‘I will teach you how to teach your husband.’
In one smooth tug, he shucks off his tunic, then his loincloth, and he tries not to be self-conscious under your watchful gaze. Pulling you against him, skin on naked skin, he smears kisses along the side of your neck, smiling at your answering shudder. In return, you run your lips and scrape your teeth over his collarbone.
Taking your hand and pressing a kiss to your palm, he slides it all the way down his chest and wraps your fingers firmly around his throbbing cock, his pained moan in your ear.
Eyes wide, you marvel at the size of him in your grip. ‘You are so big.’
Marcus curses through clenched teeth. ‘You are an insolent girl.’
With a wicked glint in your eyes, you correct yourself, ‘You are so big, general.’
If he wasn’t so aroused, he would have chuckled at your cheek. Instead, he growls, ‘Such insubordination.’
Tilting your head to one side, you grin. ‘And how would you discipline me, sir?’
He lets the silence linger for a beat, allowing anticipation to build as one big hand splays over your ass, hot lips brushing the shell of your ear. ‘I would deny you my cock, my lady. Let your sweet cunt weep for me, empty, not knowing how good it would feel to have me deep inside you.’
You are unsure if you are more shocked at the explicitness of his words, or at the gush of wetness that has you pressing your thighs together. If you had to wager a guess, he is just as affected as you by the way his length pulses in your grasp.
Marcus smiles as he takes in the way your body reacts to him. ‘But how can I deny such a lovely, desperate creature such as yourself?’
A sob escapes you. ‘Please, Marcus - I’m yours to take.’
With that, all self-restraint abandons him, and his lips crash into yours. At the back of his mind, he knows you deserve a better first kiss, something gentle and sweet. But to your credit, you seem to take it in stride, winding your arms around his neck with a deep groan as he deepens the kiss. Opening up your mouth, he sweeps his tongue against yours, making sure you taste yourself and the pleasure that he had wrung from you.
When he reluctantly pulls back for air, you hum, ‘I thought you said I should save that for my husband.’
He all but snarls, ‘Damn your husband.’
The possessiveness in his tone sends you reeling, and his resolve wears even thinner when your cunt brushes against him, so wet and soft, begging for him.
‘I cannot wait any longer,’ he declares.
You bite your lip beseechingly. ‘Please, Marcus, I cannot either.’
He braces himself above you on strong arms, until all you can see is him, backlit by the soft candlelight. Beholding his beauty - the wisps of gray at his temples, the scar lining his cheekbone - your breath catches at the tenderness in his eyes as he stares down at you.
Holding the base of his cock, Marcus notches himself at the entrance of your cunt, trembling as he holds himself back.
‘I will go slow,’ he assures you. ‘If it hurts, you tell me to stop. Understood?’
Your mouth dry, you can only nod.
Holding your gaze, Marcus rolls his hips ever so slowly, jaw slack when he breaches you, inch by tortuous inch.
He is barely inside you and you already feel so unfathomably full.
‘Marcus,’ you gasp when it gets impossibly tight, nails digging into his broad shoulders.
He stops, and whispers encouragingly, ‘You are doing so well for me, taking me so beautifully. Just breathe.’
In between his patient, languid kisses, you unfurl, and Marcus gently pulls back, before pushing into you, deeper this time.
When you cry out, he shushes you, brushing the wet corners of your eyes with his lips. ‘Does it hurt?’
You shake your head. ‘No, it’s just - so much.’
‘I know, I can feel how tight you are gripping me,’ he mumbles into your neck, throbbing inside you while he holds himself still as you adjust. ‘Brave, sweet girl.’
When you find your voice again, you give him cheek. ‘I am a woman now, general.’
He smiles at you - a warm curl that crinkles the corners of his eyes endearingly - and claims your lips again. Feeling the tension seep out of your body, he thrusts shallowly so you can learn the movement of his hips. When he hits a spot that makes your jaw drop and your hips buck, he pulls all the way back, and drives himself to the hilt in one smooth motion.
And with that, you become a part of his soul, and his yours. His chest swells with the fiercest possessiveness and the greatest honour all at once, despite knowing that the circumstances that brought you together will inevitably tear you asunder at the break of dawn.
‘Marcus!’ you choke on a sob, throwing your head back, your walls clutching his cock in a merciless grip.
‘There she is,’ he grunts, mouth scraping the shell of your ear. ‘Say my name like that.’
And you do, over and over again, as he fucks into you. His pants land harshly in the crook of your neck with every thrust, hands greedily squeezing all the skin he can find - the curve of your ass, the dimple in your waist, your thigh to hitch it over his hip.
Looking down at you, eyes drunk and unfocused as you stare back at him, each squeeze of your wet cunt around him, every breath from your lips feels sacred.
He is seized by a sudden need to know. ‘How does it feel?’
Your eyes soften, and he shudders when you cup the side of his face to bring his nose to yours. ‘Divine.’
Marcus loses himself in you, in the wet squelch of your cunt around his length, the way your tightness takes every thrust. Words of praise that he doesn’t even hear tumble from his lips and onto every inch of skin he can reach as you cling to him, scraping your nails down his back and digging into the meat of his ass.
Pitching forward to press a hard kiss to you, he says, ‘I want you to fall apart for me again.’
‘Please, Marcus, please.’
Pushing himself up to his knees, still buried deep inside you, he spreads your thighs obscenely wide over his hips, and he moans at the sight of your cunt so full of him. With hooded eyes, he sucks on two of his thick fingers and brings them between your legs, carefully drawing circles on your clit, knowing that you are already sensitive from cumming twice for him before.
Your face twists in agony as he builds you towards another climax, patiently weaving the web of pleasure that wounds you tighter and tighter until your spine feels like it will snap in two. ‘Marcus, oh - don’t stop, don’t stop, oh gods -’
He bares his teeth as he feels you start to clench around him. ‘That’s it, that’s it. Cum on my cock, let me feel you, give it to me.’
Your peak crashes into you relentlessly, and as you are swept away, you can only wail and thrash, while Marcus curses and stutters unintelligibly above you as he spins out of control.
He had every intention to pull out, but it is as if some higher power is determined to foil his plans. With a guttural roar, his hips snap flush against yours, big palms grasp you so hard by the waist that you squeal, and he spills into you in hot gushes, once - twice - and again until he is spent.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
He doesn’t know if he said that aloud or if it was a trick of the mind. All he knows is that he eventually collapses bonelessly onto you, skin fused together with sweat and cum as your breaths become one in the crisp night air.
It is him who breaks the stillness, his old bones creaking when he stirs to relieve an ache in his back. His softened cock slides out of you, prompting you to whine in protest. He grunts when he looks down to see his cum dribble out of your cunt, leaving a pearly trail on the inside of your thighs.
When he meets your eyes, there is no awkwardness in the silence. ‘Forgive me, I didn’t mean to spill my seed inside you. That was reckless.’
Your heart skips a beat at his admission, and you can’t hide the pride in your voice. ‘Do I make you reckless, general?’
He tries and fails to be stern in his answer, the tenderness with which he brushes his nose on your cheek giving him away. ‘I know better than to encourage your insolence with an answer.’
You are far from discouraged though, quite the opposite. Knowing you have this man - who commands armies of thousands - at your mercy is a siren’s call.
Peering at him from under your eyelashes, you curl one leg around his waist. ‘Do you want to be reckless again?’
He huffs, but a smile breaks through. ‘Have you ever been told that you are a cocktease?’
You hum teasingly. ‘I have never heard that word before, but I like it.’
‘You do?’ he breathes against your lips. ‘You like being my cocktease?’
‘Yours, general.’
Marcus is astounded when he feels himself harden again, and he moans as you press open-mouthed kisses down his neck. ‘What spell have you cast on this old man, my little cocktease?’
You grin, letting him ease you onto your back so he can settle between your thighs again. ‘The kind that lasts until dawn.’
Eventually, morning must break, sure as the moon turns and the sun rises. In the golden rays of day, you will wed his son in ironic, virginal white, showered in rose petals. He will look on from the side in his finest ceremonial robes of red, as you walk away from him and into your new life as someone else’s wife.
But in the velvety folds of this night and many more to come, safely ensconced in the deepest corners of his memories, in lands far away, in war and in peace, there he keeps you - where you are not.
More notes: Thank you for reading! As usual, comments/reblogs/asks would be very much appreciated 🥰 I hope you enjoyed this fic as much as I loved writing it!
#prima nocta#marcus acacius fanfiction#gladiator ii fanfiction#marcus acacius x you#marcus acacius x reader#marcus acacius x f!reader#marcus acacius x fem!reader#marcus acacius oneshot#marcus acacius smut#pedro pascal character fanfiction
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Green Flags in Communication 💚💬
"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."
This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.
"I don't want you to feel alone in this."
This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.
"I've been struggling with ___”
This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.
"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."
This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.
"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"
This is an example of constructive communication.
"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"
This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.
"I appreciate when you ___.”
Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.
"I didn't handle that well."
This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.
"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."
Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.
"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."
Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.
"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"
It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.
"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."
Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.
"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."
Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.
"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"
Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.
"I trust your judgment on this."
Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.
"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."
Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.
"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"
Validates the other person's feelings.
"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."
Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.
"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."
Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.
#communication#personal improvement#personal growth#personal development#self help#self awareness#self reflection#self improvement#healthy relationships#relationship advice#relationships#green flags#emotional intelligence#healthy relationship#health and wellness#mental wellness#mental health#level up journey#glow up tips#glow up#positive mindset#growth mindset
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"Clearly, Caitlyn Kiramman Should’ve Known Better at 23: A Masterclass in Ignoring Trauma and Believing War Criminals"
**Spoilers for all of Arcane**
Recently I made the mistake of delving into the comments of an otherwise excellent post regarding Caitlyn Kiramman and the aftermath of her time as "dictator", specifically in terms of were there enough consequences? did she do enough to make it right? should more have been done to her? that sort of thing. In the festering cesspool of those comments, I saw a variation of the following statement:
"if we were doing things based on what was fair and just, Caitlyn should have been executed on behalf of the two cities for peace"
It was more crude but you get the point. This person alleged that Caitlyn deserved death for what happened during those few months. Before we move forward lets review what we know about all of this. I have quite recently covered a lot of Caitlyn's arc so I'm not doing a deep dive here. Just enough to address this particular bit of idiocy.
How It Starts:
Like I said we aren't doing a deep dive here, so just for a quick reminder as to where twenty-three year old Caitlyn is mentally at this point(regardless of fault or nuance, just the facts):
Has been almost killed by Jinx three times
Almost killed by Sheriff of Piltover
Abducted naked from her childhood home, forced to dress in Enforcer uniform, bound, gagged, and forced to attend Jinx's tea party where Jinx tries to get Vi to murder Caitlyn
Violently knocked out
Shows Jinx mercy at Vi's request
Jinx kills her mother
Trying to become head of house Kiramman
Undercity attacks the memorial
Survives strike team operations
Brutal fight with Sevika
Vi stops her from shooting again
Very emotional split from Vi after hitting her and leaving her alone
So, with all of that under consideration, a Noxian warlord in her fifties who has commanded troops on various continents across Runeterra, calls her up and says trust me, i have your back, we will get justice for your mother. And Caitlyn folds... Le Gasp?!
Guys I know this is a little more snarky than my usual approach, but this really is just not that complicated. This is not even subtle. We literally see the flash back of Ambessa orchestrating the memorial attack to get us to this point. Caitlyn is an open wound mentally and emotionally, she never stood a chance. Lets take a moment to review some important points here by the way:
Ambessa came to Piltover for Hex-Tech. She doesn't hide this from Mel and is quite clear in her goals.
"If there is a chance hextech can be weaponized, we must have it". Mel responds "Piltover isn't your testing ground... I can't believe you'd start a war just to cover your ass" And Ambessa responds "i would set the world ablaze to protect our family". And the conversation ends with Ambessa ordering her daughter to "let the war unfold".
2. She executes her plan to make Caitlyn her scape-goat in front of:
Councilor Salo
Councilor Shoola
Large group of enforcers
Group of twenty plus people who make up as Ambessa states "every house and family with a modicum of influence"
Not a single, solitary person says a word when Ambessa brings a twenty-three year old grieving young woman with, if we're being generous two months of combat experience though probably less, and says She is in charge now! They let Caitlyn be walked right into the jaws of the wolf herself.
The Great And Terrible Rule Of Caitlyn The Creepy! WHAHAHAHA!:
What she gives her okay on:
Occupation of Zaun
Lawful (under martial law not normal law) arrests of those who cause problems
Yep... there it is folks. There is the great list of terrible crimes against humanity committed by the she-devil of Piltover herself. Checkpoints and arrests. Which by the way I am not justifying. People being arrested subjects them to Ambessa's brutality once they are inside. And as we clearly see Rictus uses the right to arrest to brutalize a Jinxer, and to break up the rally. And Caitlyn absolutely shares some portion of the blame for that. But um.. the way people reacted I was really expecting more public hangings and and labor camps.
**Not really a good place to put this but just fyi, despotic mad-women don't usually have to get up early to please a craftsman guild over supply complaints... just saying..."
"But OP! Sexy Zangief was beating people up and breaking up peaceful rallies!"
Well fortunately we talk about that!
"Was it for my encouragement that your man Rictus was instigating violence?"
How does Ambessa respond? Not with anger, or rage. First with guilt "You don't trust me", then with approval when Caitlyn responds the blade cuts both ways "fearless child, you never shy",
Ambessa is a master manipulator. Caitlyn is and was grieving her mother, and her whirlwind extremely intense romantic relationship with Vi. She had a gargantuan hole in her heart and a woman with decades leading and commanding soldiers and learning strategy slid right in. Recall that in bed with Maddie Caitlyn almost is defending Ambessa, talking about learning so much from her and the lives Ambessa saved with her assistance getting control of Zaun, so they could hunt for Jinx. Caitlyn has legitimately come to care for Ambessa at least on some level. I even believe that on some level Ambessa has come to care for Caitlyn.
2. "Arrests require cause"
When Ambessa is suggesting someone in Zaun knows where Jinx is, this is how Caitlyn responds. Not with orders to start dragging people out into the street. Not executing children in the street or burning down buildings. And when Ambessa tries to justify it "What greater cause is there than returning peace to the city?" Caitlyn responds:
3. "Why is peace always the justification for violence".. (Note Ambessa laying comforting hand on Caitlyn's shoulder during conversation)
Ambessa gives her this speech: "we've lost so many.. the anger, the sorrow.. it's tiring. Gods, I know it's tiring.. But you will never rest knowing that she's out there. Or maybe I underestimated you. Maybe you have the strength I do not.. to forgive.. and trust in tomorrow.. the decision is yours commander.."
"I know you are so tired, I know you are exhausted. I know you want this to be over. But you can't feel safe with her out there. I know you can't. Unless of course you can do what even I can't. Forgive your mothers FUCKING MURDERER. But ya know, up to you"-
If you truly cannot see the insidiousness of how Caitlyn is being twisted and manipulated, I envy you the charmed life you have lead. But be weary my friend, "you're off the edge of the map, here there be monsters." (POC 1)
"But OP! Ambessa was experimenting with Hex-Tech and committing brutal interrogations!"
I will admit the show does not explicitly state that Caitlyn did not know about this. Explicitly. However, given our context clues I feel quite confidant suggesting she did not:
See literally everything she said above
Every time we see them doing this she is not present
It seems like they are in some deep and away part of the prison when they are doing this
In private after the failed hex-tech experiment, Ambessa laments that they didn't secure the scientists before seizing control of Piltover. She is openly discussing that they are the actual ruling power. I seriously doubt she would be doing that anywhere Caitlyn may come knocking.
She Could Have Stopped At Any Time! Maddie Even Say So:
You mean that Maddie? The Noxian spy who keeps an eye on Caitlyn from her fucking bed, taking advantage of Caitlyn's grief and guilt over how things ended with Vi? Caitlyn is reminded she has a choice twice. The first time by the spy in her bed, and the second time by Ambessa herself. Her loyalty is being tested. Not her conscious. Ambessa literally put eyes and ears in her bed, and some of yall wanna argue Caitlyn wasn't being controlled. Ambessa assumed the role of Caitlyn's mother, and had her spy take on the role of Vi. And I will say this. Sure. Caitlyn could have gone to Ambessa and called it all off. No more war, no more martial law, the council is in charge again so no more imprisonment and hex-tech experiments. And maybe.. just maybe Ambessa would have row-row-row your boated her homicidal ass home. I rather doubt it. I suspect that conversation would have ended with Caitlyn getting this treatment:
We have been over this already but for a reminder:
Ambessa came here for hex-tech to fight the blackrose. She instigated the memorial attack for her cause.
"I would set the world ablaze to protect our family"
As we will come to see later, her last living child begs her to stop the bloodshed, even offering to go back with her, and all Ambessa can see is weakness.
Other indicators of how she is doing with everything:
"I never expected this to go on so long.. I thought.. I don't know what I thought.."
"Up again?" Maddie tells us Caitlyn hasn't been sleeping
Forbids the use of the cells Vi was kept in
REWIND BACK TO HELLFIRE:
I recently just did an in-depth doc on the strike team, the use of the grey, and what all of this means in story. So I will keep this brief here. but I do want to discuss it as "SHE WAS GASSING KIDS!" is still being vomited up by every double-digit iq booger eater with a keyboard.
Ambessa orchestrated the memorial attack to force Piltover retaliation
The strike team is an alternative to a full-scale invasion by Piltover.
They are hunting dangerous drug lords, destroying shimmer, and hunting Jinx. All three seem fairly reasonable. The issue is not if they are doing something wrong, it's the reason Caitlyn has them doing it. All you have to do is refer to the handy dandy song lyrics they use as Arcane always does to understand this:
"Can I do the right thing for the wrong reason? Is it bad that I'm making friends with my demons, and Living by a couple deadly sins Just to make sure I finish what you began And I ain't afraid to lose a life or ten If it means that I get to win in the end (woo) So I'ma do this on my own, step into the danger zone Pull the pin and watch it blow" (Hellfire Fever 333)
4. Using a crowd dispersal agent that incapacitates bad guys with no documented fatal effects (see multiple characters exposed who are all alive and seemingly well, those images of the people with health issues were from the unfiltered, unaltered smog the Undercity used to live with)to hunt a target who likes to blow shit up seems fair. Also the fact that it knocks people out means they don't have to kill them.
Caitlyn's Remorse And Attempts To Make Things Right:
Literally starts a war with Ambessa to save Vander
Saves a hurt Vi with Jinx's back exposed to her when she is armed
Takes care of injured Vi in her own bed and postpones any judgement of Jinx until Vi wakes
"I Know!"
"We can't erase our mistakes.. none of us"- Equates herself with Jinx
"No amount of good deed can undo our crimes"- Equates herself with Jinx
"Hating you.. I've hated myself.. I just don't have the energy for it any longer.."
Tender moment showing IMMENSE regret during she and Vi's big scene.
The Cost:
One statement I saw opined that there is a difference between remorse and punishment, and that Caitlyn should have been punished. That giving up her seat and losing an eye hardly qualified. Well! Boy oh boy do I have good news for you. Let's take a gander at the physical "not punishment" she acquires willingly leading from the front lines against Ambessa:
Cracked in the head with rifle stock, twice: Skull fractures anyone? how about a lovely concussion?
Stabbed in the stomach: Internal bleeding, bile leaks, intestinal obstruction due to scar tissue adhesions, bowel perforation, the list goes on.
Kicked in the midsection while still stabbed: potential to drive knife deeper lacerating organs and such, just massive pain, potential catastrophic bleeding if a blood vessel was hit, potential rupturing of stomach, kidneys or liver releasing harmful fluids into abdominal cavity, potential for long term chronic pain or permanent organ damage
Leg sweep by Ambessa driving Caitlyn's head into the ground: potential tbi, brain hemorrhage, or further skull fracture, potential vertebral fractures, potential long term cognitive impairment or loss of motor control if spine is damaged
Kicked again: We covered this. Knife is still there.
Ankle pinned/Leg kick/backhand: All sorts of fun things happening to ligaments and tendons. Potential permanent disability. Potential concussion and bruising as well as a whole host of lacerations.
Headbutt with War mask on: Concussion, skull fracture, brain bleed
KICKED OFF OF HER FEET
Pulls knife out of her own body: Potential fatal bleeding, massive pain, possible peritonitis and respiratory distress depending on what all was damaged during the fight with the knife still in her body.
Sacrifices her own eye
Now lets take a quick look at some reasonable assertions for the mental "not punishment" she will likely suffer from after all of this:
Massive potential for PTSD just from the wounds alone
Losing an eye impacts her shooting which is a huge part of who she is and a link to her mother
A woman she shared a bed with levelled a rifle at her neck and pulled the trigger. Caitlyn thought she was going to die.. that doesn't just go away..
look at her face...
She is twenty four people....
4. Guilt over death toll of war
5. Guilt over Vi's possible death from downward spiral
6. Guilt over Vi's possible death from explosion in commune all born from Noxian;s arriving there
7. Guilt over everything done to the Undercity
8. Guilt over perversion of her families ventilation system
9. The fact that from season 1 Act 2 til now, she only ages a year and probably not even a whole one. Refer to my list in the beginning. She has not a single fucking second to breathe or heal from any of that shit
RESTITUTION:
So aside from willingly leading the battle that most of the undercity walked away from until Jinx shows up and almost dying for it, how does Caitlyn start to make things right you may ask? (because it is a start, for those who don't get that. This is the beginning of a story not an end). For the first time in what we understand to be the history of the twin cities, Zaun has a seat at the table. People are REALLLLYYYYY underselling this. I guess because they wanted a whole political treaty signed and to watch Caitlyn get shame-nunned through the street or something. IDK. But what I do know, is that Caitlyn gave away the ancestral seat of house Kiramman, and all the power and authority that came with it, and it now belongs to someone from the undercity. An equal voice. And it's just the beginning. It's not perfect. It's not all wrapped up in a big shiny bow, it feels real. Change isn't instant. It never has been and it never will be, and if you need that to feel fulfilled I understand, but this show was never going to be that for you.
Caitlyn Should Be Executed?:
So back to the original statement. Caitlyn should be executed in the name of peace between the cities. Well, I'll say this. if you see a 24 year old woman who inside of a year had her entire reality imploded, fell prey to the manipulations of a violent war monger close to 30 years her senior if not more, yet found her way back to herself and shed her own blood as a war hero TO SAVE HUMANITY, and your answer is she should be executed. Sure! So long as you admit you have the humanity of a toaster oven you fucking idiot.
To those of you who have continued to read, and share your thoughts, and been open to kind debate and discourse in good faith. You all mean the world to me. As I have said many times, opening myself up to this community has really happed my "real" life in a lot of ways and I love getting on here to appreciate and celebrate this story with all of you. That being said, this particular issue is so god damn irritating to me I am done being nice about it. Have a wonderful day!
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hello here is 3.29-3.31! absolutely devastating for my bingo
hello it's part 3 of 3 for my cool fun graphic design adventure!! part 1 and part 2 got too long. to recap i am recreating this t-shirt design but with the magic 8 ball songs instead of city names:
here is the current draft, updated through 3/27 (pittsburgh) (!!!!)
#notable changes from our last entry:#1. finally found the proper font for portland and changed ginasfs#2. started adjusting row heights and widths to make the composition more similar to the original#3. returned the flower to volcanoes and put the moon in jet pack#and put the other flower in music or misery instead of my own muse#feels better like this i think but idk i want your thoughts. help#also committed to putting the parentheticals in the state fonts rather than the city fonts#so expensive mistakes has been adjusted to the michigan font#however i could not find the kentucky font for the fucking life of me so i have frankensteined together something that is passable for#ten years#if anyone knows what font it is. please lmk#but this will do for now#anyway. ANYWAY. wilson and jet pack blues were on my list of songs that would Get Me A Little Bit#so i'm having a time over here#five shows remaining!!! two updates left!!!!#bees' graphic design adventure#fob#i am still working on figuring out a way to distribute this when it's finished#i think i'll put it up on my inprnt maybe?? and also make the file available on like google drive or something#so ppl can print it on their own stuff#i still dk what the best way to do shirts is and i'm not sure i have the energy/time to figure it out but i do want ppl to get what they#want#so if ppl can print their own shirts with the file then that could slay#okayyyyy goodnight!!!!#wait jk i forgot . spotlight 2???? holy shit??#was noodling around playing it on piano earlier bc i learned it a couple weeks ago#from the sheet music i found somewhere on here#my god. the shrimplications.#if he does love selfish love its over for me i fear. top tier truant wave song#anywayyyyyy actually goondight for rreal!!!
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I've never sent a request before, but I'm fiending for more adam, like anything, anything at all
Benefit of the doubt
Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader
Viewer discretion is advised
Warnings: Angst(?), Not exactly fluff at the end but it gets better, typical Adam TW’s, reader low-key high-key has a complex about being loved, this is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader. (Also Y/n isn’t used, which also surprised me, the author, LMAO)
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Request Box: Open
Word count: 1760
A/N: Hi! Thanks for the request! I haven’t had a chance to write something that was originally my own idea in a while, so this was very refreshing! I’ve had this idea since I’ve watched the show so I hope you enjoy it!
I’m entirely up for making a small series from this oneshot, but I would need to know y’all’s opinion on it! (So don’t feel scared to let me know if you want some more of this idea in my Request box/the replies on this post!!)
Also Adam may be slightly OOC but please just chalk it up to him not yet getting his ego’s dick sucked 24/7
Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, let me know if you do!
Proofread but of course could have left mistakes!
You’ve existed for almost all of human existence, Almost.
You were the 4th being to be created during the time of Eden. But unlike the other 3, you weren’t human. In fact, you technically never lived before. An honestly hopeless existence, yet it was so beautiful in every way. But for what purpose? Well…
You were created shortly after Eve ate the apple, before she and eventually Adam committed the first act of sin that caused evil to latch onto humanity like a leech.
The reason for your existence was simple. To be Adam’s new spouse, except for when after he died. From the very moment Eve bit the fruit of temptation, it was already decided she would hold no place in heaven. Adam was given mercy due to him not possessing any knowledge of the fruit Eve had shared with him, he trusted her wholeheartedly. Which is exactly why heaven gave him mercy… no, pity would be a better choice of words.
Upon your creation you learned immediately of the happenings before your existence. About Lilith and Eve, and about Lucifer
And so, after Adam and Eve were casted away from the Garden, they continued to live their lives, fostering the existence of mankind for the rest of time. And when they eventually died, Adam was given pity while Eve was thrown to the wayside, the vast unknown.
You thought it was finally your time to experience existence with the one you loved, the one you were made for. Of course you never would know life as he did but surely your life never-after life could be just as meaningful as his.
How excited you were, how completely enamored by the thought of it. But there was a problem with that, Adam had grown into a new person, he was meant to of course, he was human. But he had grown selfish, abhorrent… insecure.
You understood why, to be betrayed by not one but two of his wives for the same person. You couldn’t possibly imagine what he could be feeling. Before you were to meet your future husband, Sera informed you that he had asked for a mask, and once on, he has refused to take it off.
That didn’t bother you, it’s irrelevant to your love for him. You've only heard descriptions of his features. Short Brown hair, gold eyes, bushy eyebrows, some scruff on his chin. All in all, he sounded perfectly fine, ordinary even. But even then it’s his choice to wear the mask, so you’ll respect it.
Finally, the time he arrived in heaven, and when Sera finally introduced you, his new spouse, the one to whom would be by his side for the rest of forever.
He rejected you outright.
“What?” Your breath hitched as you stuttered over the word, the sharp inhale of your lungs through your mouth flicked through the air.
Sera looked just as shocked as you but she quickly regained her composure “What is the meaning of this Adam?”
“If you think I’m going to let my life get fucked over by another one of your “gifts” well, you’ve got another thing coming!” He crossed his arms and shook his head defyingly. “I’ve already learned my lesson with those last 2 bitches.”
“Adam I’m sorry that happened to you but I would never-“ almost like lightning his finger shot to your mouth, shushing you.
“Save it, Sweetcheeks, I really don’t care what you have to say, so just stay there and look pretty, k?” His hand fell and grabbed the sides of your face, squishing your cheeks together, his LED mask flashing a sharp smile.
You saddeningly looked down at the clouds below you.
“Adam!” Sera’s voice sounded through the air, still soft but firm, she continued, placing a hand on your shoulder, “Divine judgment allowed you to be the first human soul in heaven, so I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I expect you to give your new spouse that same grace.”
Slowly your eyes looked up at Sera with a soft smile. Adam only groaned “Ugh, Fine but don’t be fuxking annoying, capiche?” You nod your head quickly.
“Very good, glad we have it settled.” Sera gives a quick smile, “now, I have some business to take care of so I’ll leave you two alone to get to know one another” With that, Sera flew away leaving the both of you alone.
The silence was thick in the air, the only sound being the occasional wind breeze blowing past. The sunlight creeps in through the clouds painting an orange sky above you both. In every sense of the word, it was perfect.
It was almost funny. You had waited so long to finally meet him, your true love, the one you were made for. All the things you dreamed about, the laughs you’d have together, the warm embrace of the person who you loved. But now… you didn’t know what to say…
“I’m… happy to finally meet you.” Your voice is quiet, almost non-audible. “I’ve been waiting for you since… well, forever…”
He doesn’t respond. He seems to be transfixed on something below you both. You train your eyes on whatever he’s watching only to see the dark cavernous abyss below you. Finally he breaks his silence.
“The fuck is that?” He asked pointing down, a sound of genuine intrigue hidden behind his abrasive voice
“That’s hell?” You stated confused “where would-be sinners will go to be punished, didnt you k-“ you suddenly realized that perhaps Adam really didn’t know what hell was. It was only created relatively recently, after Eve and Him ate the apple, of course he wouldn’t know. “it’s also where Lucifer-“
“Don’t fucking say his name.” Adam spoke, his voice rough in his speech. LED mask putting a harsh frown on his face. “Let’s get one thing straight M”Kay babe, if you’re my “new spouse” that’s something you should remember.” The “new spouse” was said with a tone clearly meant to mock you.
“Sorry…”
“Ugh, It’s fine, just don’t do it again.” He groaned before a wicked smile crept onto his mask “Sooo, that means he’s going to be stuck with all the wasteful beings of existence, HA fuxkin’ hilarious. Guess that makes them the losers and us the Winners!”
His laugh filled the air, the sound was like music to your ears, sure maybe it wasn’t really what you’d hoped he’d fine funny, but you loved it all the same but eventually his laugh died down
Silence again… in admits of all of it you suddenly was sparked with a thought “oh!” Adam looked confused at the random exclamation. “I had almost forgotten… I brought you something, as a welcome gift or was it a nice to meet you gift? Both? Eh, it doesn’t matter but the point is-“ you suddenly snap your fingers.
Golden light began shining, the light seemed like liquid hot magma as it moved and molded slowly into a shape. Light seemed to be overlapping and churning into itself, forming your desired outcome. With one final snap of your fingers, the gleaming gold liquid took hold, and quickly hardened to a solid.
The object that had formed quickly fell down, landing in your arms with a light thud.
“I’m still learning this creation stuff, so I’m sorry if it’s not perfect but-“ you hold out the object in your arms as an invitation to grab it “I learned from Sera that you liked to play guitar when you were alive, so I thought you might like to have one here…”
Adam looked at the instrument in your hands. The base color was gold, the neck was pearly white with gold strings. To be honest it looked more like a harp then anything, like if a guitar and a harp had a baby.
Silence again. Did he not like it? Did he hate it? You go to pull it back to you and apologize when suddenly it’s ripped out from your hands.
“Holyshit, this is sick as Fuck!” Adam immediately started playing some rifts on the new guitar. The sound wasn’t what you were expecting but you guess Sera was right about his talent with the instrument. The whole time his mask had a wide and sharp smile as he mimicked guitar sounds with his voice, the occasional laugh leaving his mouth.
“I’m really glad you like it” you say, a sigh of relief leaving your body.
Adam looked at you, one you missed. He saw how relieved you were, how nice you were being. No person who supposedly loved him ever gifted him something, well, one other did. Someone he trusted and loved more than everyone, anyone. But look how that ended, with them being removed from the garden, away from an eternity of happiness until he died. All from someone giving him what he thought was nothing but love, a gift.
But he could see that this was different, you were different. When Eve gave him the apple, she didn’t explain what it was or why she wanted him to eat it, even when he asked her she didn’t explain. But with you, you had not only given him something you knew he liked but also expressed the reason behind it. Yes, you were different, even Adam could see it.
“Anyways, thanks for the axe, I guess…” Adam for the first time was stunned, but quickly he continued “What was the thing that Sera chick said about me and “divine judgment” or whatever the fuck? That she gave me the “benefit of the doubt…”
You were a bit confused but continued listening, “I guess I should at least try to give you a chance, since you got me this sick ass guitar an’ shit.” Your face lit up, you about began to speak before you were, once again, shushed “B-B-But-” his finger tapped your lips with each repeated syllable ”-only a chance. If you betray me like those last 2 bitches then you’re done, got it?”
To say you were overjoyed would be an understatement, a smile quickly plastered across your face as you quickly nodded your head
“Alright good, so uh, what do ya say about showing me the best places to get a bite to eat around here, I could really go for some ribs right about now.”
“ I’d… love to, thank you Adam”
“Yeah don’t mention it Sweetcheeks” Adam quickly wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you two began walking.
Maybe you will get your eternity of happiness.you can only pray you do.
#Hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin x reader#hazbin hotel x gn reader#hazbin hotel x female reader#hazbin hotel x male reader#Hazbin x gn reader#Hazbin x female reader#Hazbin x male reader#adam x reader#Adam x gn reader#Adam x female reader#Adam x male reader#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin adam#hazbin hotel adam x reader#Hazbin Adam x reader#Hazbin hotel Adam x gn reader#Hazbin hotel Adam x female reader#Hazbin hotel Adam x male reader#Hazbin Adam x gn reader#Hazbin Adam x female reader#hazbin adam x male reader#light angst#angst with a happy ending#x reader#x male reader#character x male reader#fanfic
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astrology notes: 19 ☼𓂃𓃗𓂃
quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences based on astrology. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!
˚♡₊ pisces & them not knowing if something they remembered was from one of their day dreams or an actual dream they had.
˚♡₊ moon or chiron in the 2nd house can indicate an emotional eater. they can be someone who eats for comfort or just because they're bored.
˚♡₊ virgos are known to be judgmental towards other people & things but they’re judgmental towards themselves as well, being that they typically struggle with perfectionism. for this reason, they probably cringe at themselves and the things they’ve done quite often. they can be quite regretful and hard on themselves when they make a mistake. but virgo, you guys are imperfect just like everyone else who has lived and died. and although it may be easier said than done, breathe, live, and just be. try to view as your mistakes as an opportunity to learn & improve.
˚♡₊ asteroid juno (3) in 4th the house can make people think you’re the type to bring home to meet their mom/family.
˚♡₊ uranus in the 2nd, 5th, 8th, and 11th house can cause the native to feel frustrated and experience disturbance in those areas of life that are represented by those aforementioned houses. that’s because uranus is a planet that represents constant change and unpredictability & those houses are fixed houses that represent exactly what the name suggests, it’s fixed, it desires stability and regularity.
˚♡₊ capricorns are known to be controlling/bossy but aquarius tends to have those characteristics too. i’ve often seen it happen with their friends, like they can be the leader of the group and tell people what to do or they make decisions for others. i guess it’s the saturn influence since we know that cap is ruled by saturn & aquarius is traditionally ruled by saturn too.
˚♡₊ those with gemini moon are the type to laugh at themselves while they’re crying. and if they’re not, then they’re definitely going through it because it’s often hard for them to take themselves seriously like gemini risings, but in this case it’s more focused on their emotions.
˚♡₊ those with their venus aspecting saturn could be the type that always has a loved one/former loved one, like an ex, coming back even if it’s 6 years later. the person that tries to come back may realize what they had a little too late, they may realize that the loyalty & love you gave them was one of a kind and it’s hard for them to find that same or similar level of stability and commitment elsewhere.
˚♡₊ scorpio risings are lowkey mad funny because of their gemini in the 8th house, but especially if they have planets like sun, mercury, or moon there. & because it’s in the 8th house, it’s not something that many people know about them except for those that are close to them or those they have 8th house synastry with.
^ but when it comes to those with a gem rising or gemini in the 10th house, everyone thinks/knows they’re funny.
˚♡₊ uranus dominants or those with uranus in aspect to mercury/neptune may really enjoy reading/watching sci-fi & dystopian books/movies or tv shows.
˚♡₊ taurus moons are typically blessed with the ability to remain calm & grounded but their emotions can be a bit stubborn and linger for a while. it may take some time for them to get over a breakup or separation from someone they really love.
˚♡₊ those with chiron, pluto, or mercury retrograde in the 5th house or 10th house could have stage fright. they may dislike doing presentations in school or at work. if they have to do something in the presence of others they’d rather it be in a group. but even if they are in a group, like a small choir, they’d prefer to stand in the back or behind others.
˚♡₊ the house where aries or mars falls in your chart can show you the type of men you usually attract:
in the 1st house, if you’re a girl you may attract men who you’d describe as the male version of you, or men who are childish or younger than you.
in the 3rd house it could be your classmates, those in your neighborhood, or those that you see as more of a brother, even if they’re not related to you. for this reason, you may be quick to friend zone them.
in the 6th house it could be the men at your place of work who are always hitting on you or trying to flirt. or men that have an unexplainable desire to take care of you, they may see you as a damsel in distress.
in the 10th house it could be older men who are already established or successful. maybe you easily attract sugar daddies or men that just want to provide for you whether that be money, opportunities, or guidance.
in the 11th house your male friends may be the ones crushing on you or you attract men from all walks of life, meaning you might be "everyone's" type. even if you're not the type that some of these men may usually go for, they could be willing to ignore that when it comes to you.
in the 12th house you may have a lot of secret admirers and men that often day dream about you but won't tell you.
the attraction could be stronger or more noticeable with mars making aspects to planets/asteroids like venus or eros or with venus or eros also in aries. & due to the characteristics of mars, these men may find you intimidating and they could be a bit scared to approach you at first, or they could come on to you a bit aggressively, or they just try too hard to get your attention.
if you read this until the end i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.
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Caught up - Bang Chan Hard Thought
Content warning - infidelity, appearance by Minho[MDNI]
WC - 626
✧ Masterlist ✧
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It all happened so fast. The scratching, ripping, moaning. Your legs wrapped around his waist, his warm hands hiked up your sundress, and pinned you to the closet wall. He held you up against him while he fought with his belt, button, and zipper. This is wrong. This is so terribly wrong, but when he sinks into you, when he fills you like he was made just for this moment, all of the guilt melts away with a strangled groan.
“Holy shit.” He's grunting while he ruts into you. There's already sweat beading at his hairline, you can feel it when he kisses your neck. He sucks forbidden marks into the skin, and you know you should tell him to stop. You need to tell him to stop.
“Chan, we - Chan.” Words betray you. Syllables melt into moans and your crossed eyes can't follow a single thought.
“I know, I know. I'm sorry.” His nails dig into you in a way that contradicts his apology.
His thrusts pick up, his moans ring louder in your ears and the knot in your stomach tightens so quickly that it has you wildly clenching around him. You can feel your slick dripping from you. You can hear the way that it coats him so perfectly.
“We shouldn’t.” He's speaking like he hasn't already done it. Like he hasn't already lost his sanity in his brother's girlfriend's cunt. “I just can't-”
His sentence falls off into moans as he reaches the edge. “God I wanted you so bad.”
All that you can say is his name. All that you know is the feeling of him. His lips find yours in the dark. The kiss is clumsy and rushed and so fucking good. It's everything that the both of you have dreamt of.
It felt wrong then, when you'd touch yourself to your boyfriend's brother and moan his name so loud that your neighbors could mistake Chan for your actual lover.
Chan felt no better as he'd fuck himself to the thought of you with his brother sleeping on the other side of the thin wall. He’d bite his fist and fuck his pillow with sweet whispers of your name. He always came with his eyes closed. See no evil, commit no sin.
“Baby?” Minho called for you from the hallway. You gasp at the sound and Chan buried himself so deep inside of you that you see stars.
Chan covers your mouth. His eyes stare into your wide ones as he strokes you agonizingly slow. His cock massages your g-spot to a perfection that you've never experienced. He's perfect.
You whimper from behind his hand while he fucks you slow. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth and his eyes roll back when you squeeze him. His nails are bruising against your hips, he digs in to keep his composure but you're both losing it.
It only takes one more slow & deep thrust from him to have you seeing white. Your legs tighten around his waist and you bite your tongue so hard that you could draw blood. A whine still escapes you despite your efforts, you still squirm around him and clench so wildly that he's spilling into you as you come undone.
“Babe?” Minho steps closer to the closet. His curious ears are red as he plants one to the door.
“Oh fuck, baby.” Chan grunts through clenched teeth. He can't help it. “Shit, so tight.”
Chan tips his head back as you ride out your high. He savors each clench of your dripping cunt as it milks him dry. He takes in the way that your chest rises and falls against his. He takes it all in with his eyes closed.
And then the door opens.
Thank you for reading! Likes, reblogs and comments are encouraged and appreciated 🥰
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Horrorfest: I'm Smarter Than The Devil, I'm Smarter Than the Devil! [Yandere Demon Chrollo x reader]
Title: I'm Smarter Than the Devil, I'm Smarter Than the Devil! [Yandere Demon Chrollo x Reader]
Synopsis: You should always read the rulebook before committing to a deal with the devil.
For Horrorfest request:
Hi! This is my first time sending in a prompt, so please forgive any formatting errors :) the prompt is "Reader doesn't read the fine print and accidentally sells soul to demon!Chrollo" (hxh)
Word count: 1024ish
notes: yandere, bad decisions
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It isn’t fair. It simply isn’t fair. It is oh so, completely, wholly, utterly, entirely unfair.
“I didn’t know–” you start, and stop, and hate how childish you sound. Whining and petty, and this is no petty thing.
After all, you’ve sold your soul to the devil.
Well, correction. You’ve sold your soul to a devil.
A devil you hadn’t seen in years, and hadn’t expected to see ever again. Not after the night you made the trade, a trade which had seemed simple enough at the time.
Everything seems simpler, doesn’t it, when you’re not looking back with the unwelcome clarity of hindsight?
–
“And… all I have to do is sign your book?”
How weak you must look–how human, how mortal–to the demon standing in front of you. The bandage he’d wound around his head when he first showed up is gone, and underneath it, imprinted on his skin, is a mark that is sure to mean nothing good.
He’s not bad looking, you suppose. For a devil. Dark hair and eyes that seem to see right through you. Part of you wants to ask about the coat–doesn’t it get hot, where he comes from, with the fur collar?--but now that you’re soaking in the reality of it all, mostly you’re focused on the book in his hands.
A book that glows, a book with pages whose words swim around when you try to peek at them.
The demon smiles politely, with no teeth. If he were to grin, would he have fangs?
“And agree to make a trade.”
You swallow. Right. The book said you would have to make a trade with the demon you summoned. This could be anything, as long as the demon wanted it. Someone else’s life; a precious object, usually sentimental; or well. Your stomach squirms at one of the other things the book said a demon may want, and you hope it doesn’t come to that.
“What… do you want to trade for?” You want to smack yourself on the head the moment the words leave your lips. Giving the demon an open-ended opportunity is a rookie mistake–and yeah, it was your first time summoning a demon, and maybe some of the online articles you found were a bit sketchy, but the guide book seemed solid enough. Given by a friend of a friend who swore his cousin used it and it worked out just fine.
The demon snorts.
“Didn’t your little book tell you not to leave it up to me?”
“Um.” You shrug, feeling stupid, and human, and very, very pathetic. “Yes. But I just–well.” You turn out your pockets, empty as anything; that’s why you summoned the demon, after all. You need your big break. A way to make money, to be successful, to finally have the lucrative career you always wanted. “I figured it’d be better if you just tell me what you want from me?���
The demon’s gaze narrows.
“What makes you think I would want something from you, little human?” He takes a step forward, and a warmth fills the air. Not a comforting warmth, but something unpleasant, like the smell of gas when you open a stove. “How arrogant.”
He’s going to kill you he’s going to kill you he’s going to–
“But there must be something you don’t have,” you blurt out. “Even demons must be unhappy like we are, and want something different. Right?” Oh, it’s stupid, and unbearably human, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind. Honest, dumb thing that you are.
The demon parts his lips–and then closes them abruptly. He tilts his head at you, gazing at you with a curiosity just as unpleasant as the bitter warmth around him.
“What an unusual thing to say,” he murmurs.
He’s going to leave. He won’t make the deal. He might kill you, at worst. At best, you’ve done all this for nothing.
“All right. I’ll make a deal.”
You can’t hide the surprise on your face.
“You-you mean it?” Giddy, awful hope bubbles up inside you. “But–what will you trade for?”
The demon smiles primly. “Something you can’t even feel. You won’t miss it once it’s gone, I promise you.”
Your head is too full of anticipation to think about it further. The bitter air around you doesn’t help, adding an almost hazy feeling to your head. Something you can’t feel and won’t miss… maybe a talent you didn’t know you had? Or one you did, but won’t miss after he’s taken it. You always did like singing, maybe he’ll snap up your singing voice and shove it in his pockets. Or he’ll walk away with your favorite genre of book, forgotten in your emptier head, no worse for the wear.
“Deal!” You blurt.
He does smile wider then, a grin. He doesn’t have fangs, but that doesn’t make it less unnerving.
The book’s pages glow when he holds them out to you, and they’re warm when he presses a quill in your hands and bids you to sign your name.
You do. Shaky, uneven. But your name, there, forever in the pages.
The book snaps shut.
You have only a brief glimpse of the demon before he disappears in a wisp of black smoke. As he vanishes, he says something, but you don’t quite know what it means–
“Chrollo.”
–
You can’t feel a soul, and who knows when it’s gone? Not you, certainly. Though there’s something jittery about the realization that you’ve been walking around for years with nothing underneath your skin but your brain and bones and blood.
Did anyone else notice? Was some light gone from your eyes, never to return?
All because some demon had lifted your soul like a pickpocket. Through deception, through misdirection.
“Don’t be so sour with me, dear.” The pet name makes your stomach roil.
That bitter warmth from so many years ago, the unpleasant hit that feels like it’s coming from a furnace, seems to rise up from behind you, pushing you into his arms. He still wears his coat, after all these years; an impractical looking thing, considering how hot it must be where he comes from.
How hot it must be, where you’re going.
He presses a chaste kiss to your forehead.
“It’s not my fault you didn’t read the fine print.”
#yandere hunter x hunter#yandere hxh#yandere chrollo#yandere chrollo lucilfer#afterwitch writes#aw horrorfest
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。𖦹°‧⭑ monsters: chapter ten
synopsis: batman comes for a visit. and phosphorus makes a rather "heartfelt" confession.
cw: reader is a monster, mature themes, violence, profanity, innuendos, phosphorus is phosphorus
a/n: anon... this is for you ;) you know who u are
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One month later.
"Let me get this straight... you want to stay here in Belle Reve?"
"Yes."
"And you don't want to go back to Arkham?"
"Nope."
Taking in a deep inhale, Batman let out a long exhale through his nose.
"I don't suppose this has something to do with Alexander Sartorius?"
"Whaaaaat? What makes you say that?"
His brows flattened, and you realized his gaze wasn't on you, but rather on something outside of the window behind you.
Warily, you turned around, only to see Phosphorus fighting against a swarm of guards trying to detain him.
"You're not taking her back to Arkham, Batman!" he exclaimed, using his head to bang against the glass since his hands were cuffed behind his back. "I'll burn this whole place down!"
Your eyes shot wide.
"Don't say that, you idiot! They'll add to your time!"
"I don't think a few extra years is doing much to his triple life-sentence..." Batman assured in a monotone.
You could practically hear the judgement in his voice, its presence distinguishable from a mile away.
With a sigh, you turned around, leaning back in your chair and crossing your arms over your chest.
"Alright... maybe it does have something to do with him... so what?"
"He's psychotic."
"It wasn't too long ago that the shrinks at Arkham thought I was psychotic."
"Demonic possession is not recognized by any court in this country. It was either that or be declared as legally insane. And if that were to have happened, they would've—"
"Locked me up and threw away the key? Believe me, I know."
With a huff, you slumped slightly in your chair, your gaze falling to the floor, before slowly gliding up to him.
"He's charming."
"Most psychopaths are."
"Do you think I would be anywhere near him if I thought he was a threat to me?"
"Love can make sane people do irrational things, (y/n). I've seen it before, and I've seen the road it leads to."
"I am not Harley Quinn."
"And he's not Joker?"
"This seems very hypocritical considering you-know-who..."
At the mention of Selina, Batman cleared his throat, quickly shifting the conversation by sliding a manila folder across the table.
"This is not what I came here to talk about."
Glancing at the file, your eyes quickly landed on the JL insignia printed boldly on the cover.
"...You're joking."
"I think you would be a good addition to our ranks."
"You gonna open a Belle Reve chapter of the Justice League? Start recruiting inmates?"
"You're not an inmate. You haven't committed a crime."
"I've murdered and cannibalized hundreds of men, women, and children."
"That wasn't your crime."
"Oh, yes, civilian! Let me save you from this burning building! Oh, no! I bit your arm off. Try again next week?"
"According to your psych evaluation, the demon has repressed herself with no signs of returning in the near future."
"Mahalat may be docile now, but I can't promise that when the stakes get high, she won't return to her old ways," you stated, seriously. "I may have placated her into not eating everything in sight, but that doesn't mean she won't eat period. And with the Justice League's no-kill motto, I'm sure I'd be nothing but a social pariah."
"You shouldn't have to spend your life behind bars because of the mistakes your parents made."
Slowly, a small smile cracked onto your lips, heart warmed by the hero's declaration.
Batman had always been so kind to you, no matter how frightening or menacing you could be.
He made it a point to make sure you were well-taken care of, covering everything from your legal fees to your original, self-admitted stay at Arkham.
He was a gentleman—with nothing but your best interests in mind—and the kindest person you had ever met.
"I'm a danger to the public, Bats... And myself," you started, softly, resting a careful, reddened hand over his gloved one. "If staying in here means I don't harm another innocent person, then I'll do it, no questions asked."
Expression firming, you stood from your seat.
"But I'm no hero."
Memories flashed behind your eyes, images of dead bodies, half-eaten limbs, screaming children.
You were far from innocent in this whole endeavor.
"The people I've hurt... the lives I've taken... that can't be redeemed by saving cats from tress..." you stated, seriously. "Each and every one of them deserves justice... and I'll be damned if I get off scot-free."
Unable to catch it, a stray tear rolled down your cheek, forcing Batman to stand up.
"So don't worry about me, alright? I'm sure you've got more important things to be doing than checking up on some—"
Before you could even finish your sentence, you were enveloped in a hug.
A surprisingly warm, surprisingly tender hug.
From Batman.
'No. Way.'
You could hear Phosphorus going absolutely ballistic in the background, shouting something along the lines of "Get your hands off her!" as he beat against the glass.
But you were too taken aback to even notice.
Just as quickly, as he came, Batman pulled away, resting a comforting hand on your shoulder.
"You're a good person, (y/n)... Don't torture yourself with the past."
And with that, he picked up his file and exited the room, enduring a few seconds of beratement from Phosphorus before making it past and continuing on down the hall.
Exiting yourself, you were instantly bombarded with questions by your irradiated lover.
"What did he say? Is he taking you to Arkham? How soon? We have time to make an escape plan? Waller won't let this happen, right?"
"I'm staying here, Alex," you giggled, amused. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Oh, thank, God."
"Alright, lovebirds. Chow hall. Now," one of the guards barked, quickly un-cuffing the man before shoving him toward the entrance to the dining room, allowing you to walk over.
"Why the hell did he give you a hug?" Phosphorus asked, muttering a few curses at the guard under his breath as he rubbed his wrists. "Bastard's known for being a hard-ass, but the moment he comes around you all of a sudden he feels like handing out hugs?"
You chuckled, entertained by his jealousy.
"You're crazy."
"I'm right," he corrected.
"Y'know, I never took you for the possessive type."
"I don't like people touching what's mine."
At that, you stopped in your tracks, raising a brow as you poked a finger in his chest.
"And what about you? You have this my my my, mine mine mine thing going on. But what about me? Are you mine? Or is this ownership a one-way street?"
"'Course I'm yours, doll face," he answered, smoothly, as if it was the simplest thing in the world, sending a ripple of warmth through your stomach. "I thought that was a given."
"Alex, how the hell is that a given?"
"If I say you're mine, it's obvious that the same goes for me to you."
"No. Not obvious at all."
"It's totally obvious!"
"Nope... but now that I know, I wanna hear you say it."
"You wanna hear me say it?"
"Yup."
"And you wanna call me possessive?"
"I can always ask G.I."
"Yeah, good luck getting anything outta him."
"Leaving..."
"I'm yours," he caved, quickly grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you back. "Your guy, your man, I still don't give a shit what you wanna call it."
He let out a quiet sigh, lowering his voice so only you could hear.
"I'm yours. And you get to touch me and hold me and kiss me whenever you like... in exchange for mind-blowing sex."
You grinned, giving him a knowing nudge.
It sounded even better when he said it...
"See? Now was that so hard?"
"On the contrary, I think I felt an artery harden."
"Asshole!"
"You know you love me~"
"Fuck off."
"There she is."
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#creature commandos#creature commandos x reader#dc#dc x reader#dcu#dcu x reader#doctor phosphorus#doctor phosphorus x reader#dr phosphorus#dr phosphorus x reader
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Indulgence
Pairing: Dom!Bucky Barnes x Sub!Female Reader Summary: When Bucky calls, you go to him. Word Count: Over 5.7k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, unprotected vaginal sex, D/s elements, bondage, aftercare, established arrangement, insecurities, pet names, longing, possessive behavior, world building, mix of canon and non-canon, slight feels (it's me, okay?), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: I'm very excited for this new AU, lovelies! There's a deep bond between these two, but we know the road to love isn't always easy. ❤️Beta read by the amazing @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. And thanks to @targaryenvampireslayer for listening to me ramble about this part. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You had only been asleep for an hour when your phone went off, your eyes barely open as you reached for the device and saw the familiar name appear. “Bucky?” You answered drowsily.
“Hey, angel,” he said roughly, the pet name bringing a sleepy smile to your face. It sounded like he hadn't gotten much sleep either. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“It’s okay. I have tomorrow off,” you said, a bit more alert as you sat up. “Are you at your apartment?”
“Yeah, I got back a bit ago,” he replied, swearing under his breath. “It’s really late. I just…”
“Need me,” you finished for him, stretching your back as you stood up. If he wanted to tell you he made it home safely from his latest assignment, he would've sent you a text. You knew by now that a call meant he had to see you in person. “Give me a few minutes?”
“You sure? I understand if you’d rather go back to bed.”
“I’m not going to get any sleep until I know you will, too,” you said. It would drive you crazy. “I want to come over. Okay?”
You wondered if the call dropped since you didn't hear anything on the other end. “Okay. I’ll send a car,” he said. He never let you pay for a ride yourself. “Thank you,” he added so softly you almost missed it.
“You don't need to thank me,” you assured him, though you appreciated hearing it. “I’ll see you soon.”
“I’ll be waiting,” he promised, your heart skipping a beat before he hung up.
You brushed your teeth again before you changed out of your pajamas. The outfit didn't exactly matter. If it had, he would’ve told you what you wear. It wouldn't stay on long anyway. You sensed that this was a night for him to simply blow off some steam or release anything still pent up from his assignment.
You were more than happy to help.
“On my way.” You messaged him a few minutes later as you went out to the car.
You politely greeted the driver before gazing out the window. If anyone had told you months ago that you’d be sleeping with the former Winter Soldier, you would’ve laughed at them for saying something so crazy. You never expected to meet the man, let alone connect with him. That was your life now though. You were sleeping with Bucky Barnes.
But it wasn't that cut and dry.
“I’ll be outside.” He sent back.
You smiled to yourself as you thought about Bucky, the man searching for himself again. After years of enduring horrific pain and having no control over his actions, he felt lost once he was free. In his eyes, he would never be able to right all the wrongs of the atrocities he was forced to commit, but making amends for his past was a start. It wasn't enough though to heal the cracks from within. It couldn't stop him from plunging into the deep abyss of his mind where it once felt whole.
He had to find a way to feel semi-normal again. He needed to do something good for someone else outside of his heroic duties. And he had to do so in an environment where he could express himself openly, honestly, and authentically with a person he could trust.
That was where you came into the picture.
If Bucky called, no matter what time of day and you were available, you went to his place in a car he paid for. You stayed until you were both satisfied. A more crude way to think of it was that you helped him fuck out his frustrations and gave him a means to inflict pleasure on someone instead of hurt. It was a routine you were used to by now.
“You wanna be my angel?”
You may be his angel, but you weren't his girlfriend. He wasn't in a place to have a typical relationship. You weren't just a fuck buddy either. You were his submissive of sorts, along with his confidant and a way for him to find release and some sense of normalcy.
While he sometimes fucked you like a whore, he never once treated you like one. He cared for your well-being and checked in on you the way a boyfriend would. He kept his place stocked with your favorite snacks. You didn't sleep with anyone else and neither did he. You looked out for each other.
Unlike your last boyfriend.
As far as arrangements went, you could do much worse. There were rules set in place. Bucky was honest about his needs and helped you heal your wounds from the failure of your previous relationship. But the more time you spent with him, the more you wanted to be with him.
Was it a recipe for disaster?
The drive seemed faster than usual because before you knew it the car stopped in front of Bucky’s apartment building. Your pulse quickened when you saw the brunette standing by the door, donned in his usual leather jacket. Even from a short distance, he looked massive and heat bloomed in your core as you knew what was to come. He moved to the curb with more grace than a man his size should have, his hard blue eyes set on you through the glass before he opened the door.
His gaze practically set your heart on fire and it went full ablaze when he tenderly smiled. He was stunningly beautiful even in the dark of night. It almost hurt to look back at him.
You had it bad.
“Hey,” he said, offering you his gloved hand to help you out. You hardly ever saw him out without his vibranium hand covered. “It’s good to see you.”
“Hey,” you smiled softly, giving the driver a quick thanks before you got out. “You, too.”
Bucky's large hand moved to the small of your back as he gently led you toward the building and opened the door. He didn't like to linger outside for too long. Neither of you spoke as he guided you to his apartment on the first floor and you didn't push him to make small talk. It was a delicate arrangement and some nights didn't call for filler.
Still, you tried to get a read on his emotions. There was a stiffness to his stance, but he didn't appear upset or angry. You also didn’t spot any obvious injuries.
“Were you hurt?” You asked as he took his keys out. He was only gone for a couple of days, but you knew how dangerous the missions were.
He turned and stared at you, not at all surprised by your question since you always asked. “No, I didn’t get hurt,” he assured you, reaching up to scratch at the stubble on his chin. “But I can't exactly talk about it either. I’m sorry.”
You nodded in understanding. It was information you weren't privy to and you doubted he called tonight to talk about it anyway. He peeled back layers of himself, yet there was so much underneath that you didn't know about. You cared for him regardless.
“Bucky, you don't have to apologize for that,” you reminded him.
“I just feel bad. You can tell me about your work, but I can't always talk about mine,” he said, looking both ways before he poked his head into his apartment.
“My job isn’t as ‘exciting’ as yours,” you teased before he let you in.
Bucky had a nice place. The partially exposed brick walls paired well with the hardwood floors. Tasteful, but not extravagant. The thick curtains in the living room matched the drapes in his bedroom. Since he occasionally slept on the floor by the oversized chair, it helped to block out the sun. He didn't have much as far as decor, but he did have a piece of art that his best friend, Steve, drew hung up in the hall.
He also had a bowl that you made on the console to hold his keys, which he promptly set them in.
It meant something that he even let you into his apartment when others close to him had never been invited.
“Need anything to drink?” He asked, slipping his jacket and glove off.
He had an empty glass waiting on the kitchen island in case you did. While you indulged in a drink now and then, he wouldn't allow you to have too many. He refused to have sex with you if you were inebriated. Said it took consent away and you wouldn't be alert enough to use a safeword if necessary.
He wouldn't budge on that rule.
“No, thanks,” you answered, gazing at him.
His T-shirt strained against his biceps, one flesh and one vibranium. You could still smell his cologne from the small distance across the room, amber and cedarwood. Warm, comforting, dominating. All the things he was to you.
Not the monster he sometimes believed himself to be.
You eyed him as he poured himself a shot of whiskey, the need to soothe him coming forward when you caught a distant look in his eyes. He didn't even make a move to down his drink as he set his hands on the counter and stared off. Maybe he couldn't give you the details about what happened, but you could take care of him.
Because as much as he sometimes had to have control over you, both of you had power in your relationship.
“Bucky?” You gently called out, pulling him from his trance. “You can talk to me, even if you have to keep some things to yourself.”
His shoulders dropped as he sighed. “Three months.”
“I'm sorry?”
“Three months since we started this,” he answered.
You realized he was right when you remembered the date. It felt longer yet still brand new. “Yeah. Three great months,” you smiled.
A knot formed in your stomach when he didn't smile back. “And you still feel safe with me?” He asked, gripping the counter so hard you thought it might crumble in his hands. “You really trust that I won’t hurt you?”
Your smile slipped, the questions like a punch to the gut as you walked toward him. You stopped a foot in front of him to give him some breathing room as he made eye contact. Where had that come from? What happened to make him question that?
“Of course, I feel safe. Not only do I feel safe with you and trust you, I know that you won't hurt me. You will always take care of me,” you said with fierce determination, yet with a vulnerability you couldn't hide. “If I didn't believe that, I wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t submit to you.”
You told him the same thing the day you two agreed on this arrangement. He wasn't your boyfriend, but he wasn't like your ex. He wouldn't just throw you away without a second thought or ignore your needs. You also had faith in him that he wouldn't harm you.
And as much as you trusted him, he trusted you that much more. If he didn't, he wouldn't have called you in the first place. That meant he still trusted himself around you.
He looked away and asked above a whisper, “Do you still think I'm a good man?”
“Yes,” you replied without hesitation, your heart aching when his jaw clenched. “Bucky, look at me, please.”
He slowly made eye contact with you, a storm swirling in his stare.
“You are a good man,” you stated, needing to reach the part of him that believed it. “And it doesn't matter how many times you ask me that, my answer isn't going to change. Ever.”
Bucky was silent, his breathing the only sound in the space. You were worried that you said the wrong thing before he pushed himself away from the counter. Instead of moving back when he approached, you stood firm, ready to brace the storm. You sometimes felt like a mouse confronted by a lion when he got close, but it sent a thrill through you. Because you meant what you said.
You trusted him and he made you feel safe.
“I just had to hear you say it,” he whispered as he cupped your face.
A fire lit within you as Bucky captured your mouth with his. There was care and tenderness beneath the hunger and you found yourself clinging to his arms as you kissed him back. No one before him had ever kissed you with such desire, such passion. It had you chasing his lips when he pulled away too soon.
“Now go to my room, get undressed, and kneel on the bed facing the headboard,” he ordered, his voice low and allowing the words to sink in just in case you had any objections. Because he was done talking and ready to play.
So were you.
It took you a moment to answer since you had to bite back a whine. “Yes, Sir,” you whispered, feeling his eyes on you as you walked to his bedroom.
You focused on keeping your breathing even as you shed your clothes, taking a moment to fold them before you set them on the chair in the corner. The only time you left your garments on the floor was if Bucky put them there or had you put on a show for him. It was his space and you respected it.
He hadn't told you how long to wait for him, but your heart thumped as you knelt on the queen sized bed. You didn’t see any toys as you glanced around, but there was water, snacks, wipes, and the soft blanket you loved waiting on the nightstand. It took a moment for you to spot that there was a blindfold and scarf on top of the blanket. Your womb clenched in anticipation, an exquisite feeling knowing your patience and obedience would reward you.
Bucky walked through the door a minute later and shut it behind him. The energy shifted completely, both of you ready for each other. As much as you wanted to lift your gaze and look behind you, you kept your eyes downcast as he approached the bed. He cupped your cheek once he was close enough and forced your eyes to meet his.
“My beautiful angel,” he whispered, brushing his thumb along your skin as you glowed from the praise. He reached for the scarf and ran his fingers across the silk as he glanced at you. “As much as I hate to cover those beautiful eyes of yours and restrain you, I want you to concentrate on my touch tonight. Just let me have you.”
A shiver rolled down your spine as you nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
“Hands behind your back,” he said, moving to secure them once you did so. The silk was soft against your skin, almost as soft as the kiss to your shoulder. After years of being restrained, you knew he felt guilty at times taking your control away. The difference was you gave yourself to him willingly. “Tell me your safewords.”
“Green is good. Yellow to pause,” you stated, testing the scarf. He never bound you too tight, but it was enough that you couldn’t slip your wrists free. “Red to stop."
“Good girl,” he praised, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. You turned your head a fraction so he could slot his lips properly over yours. Gentle, yet hot enough to melt your insides. “My good girl.”
He maneuvered you so you were in the middle of the bed and spread your knees a bit further apart. He joined you on his knees, still fully clothed. Casting your gaze down again, you bit your lip when you saw the prominent bulge in his pants. A hand came up to grasp your chin before you could stare for too long and lifted your head. If you were still wearing your panties, they would’ve dampened from his darkened gaze.
“So beautiful and all mine tonight,” he said.
“I’m yours, Sir,” you whispered, the word “always” unspoken.
“And I know you were staring,” he smirked, his fingers working the button and zipper of his jeans. His impressive cock sprang free once he pushed his underwear and pants down far enough and you wished you could lean down and swirl your tongue around the large head. “Greedy angel. Just desperate to have my cock in you.”
“Yes, Sir. Please,” you begged.
He made a show of lifting the blindfold before he slipped it over your head, your body tensing up when your world went dark. Sight was one of the senses you relied on the most. It helped you absorb most of the world around you. And now it was temporarily gone. It felt like your heart would burst from your chest as you breathed a bit heavier. But Bucky was there, softly touching your face until you relaxed.
“Breathe, angel. I’ve got you,” he whispered, drawing a gasp from you when his lips touched yours. His hands mapped your body, brushing along your breasts down to your thighs. You felt him everywhere. “Color?”
“Green,” you whispered as a hand moved around your back and forced you to arch. He was careful not to hurt your arms. “Please.”
Your head fell back with a moan as his lips closed around your nipple. You could practically feel that he looked up at you as he gently suckled. A wave of arousal crashed through you as he pinched the other. No one had ever lavished your body with such attention the way Bucky did.
“I love seeing you like this,” he murmured against the swell of your breast. “Helpless. Trembling. Needy.”
You didn't mean to let such a wanton moan escape, but he made you feel needed. He made you feel wanted. It was a beautiful thing to surrender to him.
“And I love that I'm the one you trust to take care of you.”
“I trust you with my life, Sir,” you moaned.
And your heart, even though he had the power to break it.
Your chest suddenly felt colder when Bucky pulled his mouth and hand away and you shook from the loss of his heat. His vibranium hand touched your torso to remind you he was close when he shifted closer to you on the bed. You gasped when he dragged his hand down and you were helpless to do anything but feel when it slid between your legs.
“You're doing so well for me,” he said, his teeth grazing your neck as his fingers spread your sopping folds. He teased you, letting you soak his metal fingers as you mewled. He lightly bit you again when he replaced his fingers with his cock, sliding along your slit, but not pushing inside you just yet. “You want me inside you? You need me to fuck you, don't you? Tell me.”
Your cheeks flamed as you whined. “I need you to fuck me, Sir,” you said, trying to widen your thighs to take him in more.
“I will. I'm going to give you everything you need,” he rumbled, gripping your hips with strong and capable hands to keep you still. “And you’re going to let me ruin your pretty little pussy with my cock.”
You panted with want at his possessiveness. Filthy words were something you never thought you’d hear from someone associated with The Avengers and they kicked your body into overdrive. You ached to have him split you open. “Ruin me, Sir.”
In one swift move he lifted you, pulled you into his lap, and buried himself to the hilt. Your mouth fell open as you let out a cry, every inch of his cock stretching and making itself at home in your welcoming cunt. You couldn't brace yourself on his shoulders with your hands behind your back. You couldn't see the ecstasy in his eyes as he let you adjust to his size, but you didn't have to. Not with the way he dug his fingers in and groaned against your shoulder.
He took you to heaven when he was inside you.
“Color,” he said against your skin, thrusting his hips up once.
“Green,” you moaned, reminding yourself to stay still when you wanted him to move. “So green.”
“Good girl,” he whispered, gently kissing up to your ear. “Keep being good while I bounce you up and down on my cock.”
Your eyes fluttered behind the blindfold as he pulled you up and slammed you back down on his cock. Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and your heart beat frantically in your chest. It was difficult to string thoughts together, but they all went back to him and how good he made you feel. How he made you feel beautiful.
Flaws and all.
“It’s like your cunt was made for me, angel. Practically crying all over my cock,” his voice was smoky as sounds of pleasure tumbling from your lips. The next moan was softer when he slid a hand up to your neck, resting it there as the other kept your hips flush against his. “You deserve to feel good because you are good. So fucking good.”
Your lower lip trembled as a sob worked its way to your throat, “Thank you, Sir,” you whimpered before he squeezed.
“And I. Deserve. You.” He punctuated each word with a deep thrust. You didn’t have to see his face to know the fury that surfaced. “My angel. Mine.”
It overwhelmed you as he bounced you in his lap, sinking you down onto him again and again. His thrusts were almost unforgiving, but the hand on your throat didn’t tighten anymore. He couldn’t hurt you. He wouldn’t hurt you.
“I’m your angel, Sir,” you moaned as he reduced you to a needy wet mess.
“I wanna tear you apart,” he growled against your lips. “And put you back together so you still feel me when you fucking breathe.”
“Tear me apart, Sir,” you gasped, a plea for him to use you more. Your thighs hit his as he thrust up and all you could do was take it. He touched places inside you no one else could reach, physically and emotionally, and you never wanted it to stop. “Please!”
“Tell me you need me to come inside you and I’ll let you come,” he ordered, the hand on your neck squeezing a fraction. “Say it.”
“Come inside me, Sir,” you begged.
“Bucky,” he breathed against your lips. “Say. My. Name.”
Your next breath was shaky. He always had you call him “Sir” on nights like this. Why was this different?
Your orgasm began to crest, but you couldn’t let go until you gave him what he wanted. And he’d give you what you needed. “Come inside me, Bucky,” you exhaled. “Please.”
He swiped his thumb along your pulse with a deep groan, his cock still driving up into you. “I will after you come,” he promised, his tongue sliding past your parted lips and pulling away all too quickly. “C’mon, angel. Come for me. Show me you’re mine.”
The sob you tampered down earlier resuraced, wrenched from your throat as you came. Your release continued, practically leaking around his cock as tears slid out beneath the blindfold. You were beyond rational thought as pleasure spiraled through you, vaguely aware that he thrust through it to chase his own end.
“Good. Fucking. Girl.” He grunted, pulsing hotly inside you as he filled you up.
Both of you panted as you continued to drift from euphoria, your heart still beating wildly. You were warm, but your body shivered as he lifted you up. Your combined release slid from your aching cunt once he slipped free. You floated and wanted him to catch you, but you couldn’t put your arms around him.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered when you let out a whimper. He made quick work of untying your wrists so he could lay you down properly and wipe away the tears still on your cheeks. “I’m going to take the blindfold off.”
Your eyes stayed shut for a moment when Bucky removed it, but you cracked them open when you wanted to see him. Your vision slowly cleared as you blinked a few times, your mind still floating as he came into view. He called you an angel, but he was the one who had a halo around his head at the moment. A gorgeous angel who had unrightfully had his wings taken away. He smiled like he wanted to eat you alive, but his touch was nothing short of tender when he brought his hand to your face.
“So fucking beautiful. You did so well for me. Fuck, I just wanna clean you with my tongue and fill you up all over again,” he praised as you clenched around nothing and whined. As hot as it sounded, you needed a bit of rest after that. “Not tonight,” he smiled, keeping a hand on you as he grabbed a wipe.
A reason he had everything close by was because you craved his touch after sex. If he ever got too far away, you whimpered and reached for him. It made you feel needy, but he assured you that he needed to keep touching you just as badly.
It just wasn’t fair that he looked so composed.
Bucky continued to shower you with soft praise as he cleaned you up. It didn’t take him long before he wrapped the soft blanket around you, trembles moved through your entire body as he put his arms around you, too. He took aftercare very seriously. It was a way for you to feel cared for and nurtured while allowing your body and brain to return back to normal. He never wanted you to experience negativity or sadness after any sort of session, especially an intense one.
You were aware that he moved you closer in his arms and rested his cheek against the top of your head, but you weren't ready to speak yet. It always took you a minute to come back to yourself and he was never one to rush or push you. If relaxing in his embrace was what it took to return to the world, he was more than content to keep you in his arms.
At least, that was what he told you.
You opened your eyes after a few minutes. Your heartbeat was back to a steady rhythm, but you still weren't ready to move yet. You were warm and safe. Bucky was there to take care of you. But what about him?
Had you taken care of him?
Bucky had a faint smile on his face when you lifted your head, his shoulders relaxed and eyes soft. Like he was at ease with everything around him. “Welcome back, angel,” he whispered, peppering your face with light kisses.
“Hey,” you smiled tiredly, your voice a little hoarse as you brought a hand to his hair, happy that you could touch him again. Judging by the way his eyes slipped shut for a moment before he opened them, he missed your touch, too.
“You okay?”
“I am and so are you. You're okay.” It wasn't a question. Whatever haunted him earlier was gone.
For now.
He didn't tear his gaze away as he reached for the water behind him, which you gratefully accepted as he put it to your lips. “You amaze me, you know? You just came back to yourself, but you're talking about me being okay.”
“Isn’t that why you call me?” You asked with a small frown, taking another large sip. “To help you?”
His brows furrowed. “It’s not just about me. This is about you, too.”
You took one more drink before you could say something stupid. Yes, this was about you, too. How he didn't push too far. How he’d hold you after sex and talk with you because those things were important to you. How he made you feel cherished and wanted for a short while.
You just didn't want to admit that he was a constant in your mind. But would it be so wrong if you did? Even if he’d never date you, didn't he have a right to know how you felt?
Communication was key and you would have to eventually tell him if those feelings persisted.
“It’s about both of us and I just want you to be okay,” is what you said because it was the truth.
He set the water aside and cupped your cheek, his calloused hand a little cool, but nice. You almost wished you could hide from his knowing eyes, but he didn’t press you for more. “I am now,” he said, swallowing a little. “I just couldn't let you see me tonight.”
Worry filled his eyes like he may have upset you, but you shook your head. You had seen his scars, but he was never obligated to show you his body. “You're letting me see you now,” you said, scooting closer as he brought your wrist to his mouth to kiss it.
You thought about how the evening played out. How he asked if you thought he was a good man. How he demanded that you speak his name. And how he said he deserved you. Either something happened while he was gone or someone said or did something to get to him. You wished you knew what it was since he didn’t expand on what had been eating away at him before.
“And before you ask, you didn't hurt me,” you told him, knowing the question was coming. You appreciated that he cared enough to check.
He pressed a kiss to your temple. “Good because I’d never stop hating myself if I did,” he admitted, looking at the ceiling for a moment. “You don't deserve that kind of pain.”
Your heart swelled, not letting any past hurt enter your mind. He made you believe that you deserved better than what you had. It was a good feeling.
“Neither do you. And that's a reason why safewords exist. Both of us can use them,” you reminded him. Like aftercare, he took the words seriously. He listened to you. And if he ever got overwhelmed, he had every right to stop it the same way you did. “So no self-hate tonight.”
He huffed in mock annoyance. “Yes, ma’am. And speaking of self-hate,” he teased, tilting his head to look your way. “I really don’t want to go to therapy tomorrow.”
There was a forced calmness in his blue eyes as you assessed him. “You still don’t like your therapist,” you stated.
One of the conditions of his pardon was that he had to go to therapy. It was meant to help him process his thoughts and past experiences in order to work through them. Though he didn’t tell you what went on in his sessions as it was none of your business, he didn’t keep it a secret from you that the doctor was far from his favorite person.
You wondered if Bucky told her about you.
“What’s there to like?” He asked.
You smiled a little, knowing better than to poke the bear and say she probably wasn't that bad. “Well, being able to speak to someone who provides non-judgemental and empathetic support is one thing.”
“That’s why I like talking to you,” he said, the affection in his voice making your heart skip a beat.
“Oh,” you said, not sure what else to say.
Moments like that made you think he cared. No, that wasn’t right. You knew he cared about you. But hearing things like that made you feel like there was hope for more and he wasn’t ready for that.
Hope was both a wonderful and dangerous thing.
“Have you met anyone else?” He asked suddenly, moving his hand to your back.
It was a question Bucky asked every time he had you over. He said from the start if there was another man in your life that you’d rather be with, someone who could offer you more, he’d step aside. There wasn't anyone else. You didn't want anyone else.
And while it was admirable that he would walk away if that ever changed, your heart ached at the thought that he’d easily let you go. Because at the end of the day he wasn't ready for a relationship. Not yet.
Even if he was, who said he wanted one with you?
“No, I haven't met anyone,” you said, feeling the warm breath of his exhale against your skin as his hand moved up and down your back. It relaxed you more and you found yourself fighting a yawn. “Have you?”
“No,” he chuckled. The crinkles by his eyes made him look carefree. “Not since you saved me.”
You shut your eyes, afraid that tears would well up if you looked at him. “I didn't save you. All I did was buy you a coffee one afternoon,” you whispered dismissively.
That day changed your life.
“I’m going to let that slide since you're sleepy, but I’m going to remind you when you're wide awake that you did a lot more than that,” he spoke. He held you a little tighter when you stayed quiet. You were more tired than you thought. “Get some sleep, angel. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
You let your eyes shut at his command. “Thank you for taking care of me, Bucky.”
“Thank you for taking a chance on me.”
There was something else unspoken in the air, but a tender kiss to your forehead stopped you from reading too deeply into it.
In the morning, he’d send you back to your place after he made you breakfast. He’d text you later to make sure you were okay. He would continue to check in and you would do your best not to fall for him more. Because one day he wouldn't need you anymore. You didn't know when that day would come, but tonight you could indulge in the fantasy that Bucky wanted you to be his girl.
Permanently.
I just want these two happy and together. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x female!reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x fem!reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#dom!bucky barnes x reader#dom!bucky barnes x sub!reader#indulgence au#bucky barnes#dom!bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fan fic#bucky barnes fan fiction#bucky fic#james buchanan barnes#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x female reader
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YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE : PICK A PILE
FIRST IMPRESSION VS AFTER THEY KNOW YOU
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PILE 1 PILE 2
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PILE 3 PILE 4
Hello everyone ! I'm Rin! I'm an intuitive tarot reader. It's been almost one and a half since I've been learning about tarot, divination and astrology so I decided to channel general reading for everyone! It's my first public reading ever, so hopefully you like it
Disclaimer : This is a general reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Remember, the energies can change from time to time. So pick wisely.
How to pick : Close your eyes, take a deep breath and clear your mind. Trust your intuition and choose a pile that you are most drawn to.
PILE 1
At first, they see you as a person they are willing to risk it all for. Anyone who doubts you, your FS is willing to go up against anyone for you. They see someone who is strong for learning from your past mistakes. Due to this, they see you as someone they somewhat fear. 'I want to know them, but what if they reject me? What if they misinterpret my intentions toward them?' They feel stuck. One moment they want to approach you, but then they are afraid to because you are intimidating to them.
After they get to know you better, they start to see you as someone who brings a lot of excitement into their life. They are obsessed and passionate about you! Don't be surprised if they start to become more flirtatious and clingy. Your presence brings a lot of transformative experiences and forces them to step out of their comfort zone or remain stuck in the past.
PILE 2
They think you're driven and hardworking, focused on your future. But because you're so into your work, they feel a bit distant from you and wonder if you're really right for them. Still, they're hopeful they can break down your walls and get to know you better.
As they learn more about you, they realize you're the one they've been searching for. You make their life feel magical, and they're falling for you even more. They start to see they misjudged you at first and want to take their time to be sure. They like you a lot, but they need a bit more time before committing fully. Until then, they see this relationship moving towards something serious, like getting engaged or married.
PILE 3
This person is clearly infatuated with you and sees you as their perfect match. However, they may place unrealistic expectations on you, causing you stress with their demands. They come across as somewhat obsessed with you, finding you incredibly attractive and wanting to exert control. Yet, you stand firm in your strength and maturity, refusing to be manipulated.
When they realize they can't easily sway you, they may begin to distance themselves and keep secrets. You don't need to rescue or change them; instead, show them your strength and worth. As they reflect on their mistakes and change for the better, they'll come to understand and appreciate you more deeply
PILE 4
They view you as an option among several others, still undecided on whether to approach you. Oh! They are a player. You are unapproachable to them because you are playing hard to get but it's just you want to enjoy your single phase. They don't have any strong feelings towards you until they learn more about you. It was your personality that made them attracted to you.
Your strong personality intrigues them, prompting a sense of urgency to pursue you before someone else does, possibly leading to impulsive decisions. It's possible this attraction is one-sided, as some of you may be content with your single status and not anticipate their advances, potentially resulting in rejection. Nonetheless, they're determined not to give up and will strive to impress you, especially in terms of financial achievements, hoping to change your perception of them. They feel insecure and jealous seeing you with others, fearing they may fall short of your standards, prompting them to work hard to improve themselves.
Take care y'all
#tarot reading#tarot#tarot community#free tarot#pick a pile#pick a card#pac reading#tarotblr#divination#future spouse
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