#this was a lot of rambling bleh sorry!

[somepancakeonline5377]

dude CU/TETOCU and HS??? its like a dream some true lmao

Thank you!!!! It’s a silly combo of interest that just happened in my head one day and it’s driving me crazy, But I adore it.

Gosh I could talk about my silly AU ALLL day!!! I have so many ideas and stuff :33 I am a bit busy lately and lack of motivation so that’s why I haven’t said much about it recently bleh :PP but I’m so so so so so glad your interested!!!!! :D

If you ever have any questions please let me know!! :D I’ll be more then happy to answer them!! And thank you from the bottom of my heart for the ask!! :D

Btw I love your username, just in time for spooky season too! And Terezi is just so cool love her so much.

[cube-cumb3r]

while im at it neopronoun opposition is weird to me as a swedish person.. the whole debate is so anglocentric that they assume every language landed on the same solution they did, to reuse a plural pronoun as a gender neutral one and then they think any other solution is absurd or unheard of. what do you mean you just made another pronoun up you cant do that!! etc

coz its like here in the 2014 the swedish academy accepted 3rd person pronoun "hen" (as opposed to hon/han) like officially into our word list after it gained some popularity in the 2010s. like that is a NEOPRONOUN that someone just Came Up With in like the 60s and then people just started using it and now its just a recognized part of our language. sure we could've also reused our plural pronoun "de/dem" as a gender neutral one but we just made up a new one instead. and to like imply that mainstream use of a neopronoun is just UNHEARD OF and that neopronouns is something the mainstream could NEVER GET USED TO EVER!!! is... your perspective is very limited to the english speaking world is all i can say

[galactic-rhea]

The thing is,,,,abuse doesn't have anything to do with intelligence or lack of confidence, though yes, a person with low self-esteem is an easier target for abusers, however that's what not I'm talking about.

Like I'm someone who doesn't like to take part in The Discourse (tm) because this is fandom, I'm here to talk about my favorite dolls and create silly scenaries with them. And it might feel a bit egregious to talk about something as delicate and serious as abuse, grooming or domestic violence but also it's the perfect playground to explore such themes and you can learn a lot by psychologically analizing a character and do your own research on the matter so you can understand abuse better, and sometimes that way you can also have a more critical view on real life, and for some of us, also come to terms with our own lives.

That said, back to my original point, it has nothing to do with intelligence. A person that falls into a cycle of abuse doesn't make them stupid, the whole deal of predators and abusers is that they know how to play their game, they know how to manipulate. A victim's mind will always try to cope with the abuse in ways that can be hard to understand sometimes in ways that will make you say 'well, that's enabling their abuser', but is not a statement on their intelligence or lack of it, abuse dynamics are extremelly complex, and victims will go through several states such a guilt, or violent outbrusts, fear, appeasing, avoidance, sometimes all sometimes just a few. And it's because no one is the same and no one's experiences will be the same, even though there are patterns you can identify sometimes.

So when someone wants to argue against a character being too smart to fall for abuse or manipulation, it's a bit sad to me. Not necessarily malicious or dangerous, or anything, again this is fandom and fandom runs rampant with whatever takes that makes all of us grimace. But because that's not how it works, if a certain dynamic isn't abusive by your pov, then it has nothing to do with the character's intelligence. It's not about being strong, or confident; that downplays how abusive dynamics come to be.

Like for example y'know I don't think padmé and anakin were abusive, I've made several posts about it, but it's not because they are too intelligent for that.

Likewise, Anakin wasn't stupid for being groomed by Palpatine; the contrary, he was quite literally a gifted child and a genius at mechanics and was good at many things, including drawing and strategies, but he fell for Palpatine's grooming because:

a) Palpatine is an evil top tier manipulator and predator who knows how to play adults, he literally knew how to play the jedi council, what was a 9 y/o going to do about it.

And b) Anakin's trauma and unattended mental illnesses made him an easier victim for grooming; he was already used to be a thing and be a servant from the moment he learned to talk.

But even if we weren't talking about someone as deeply messed up as Anakin was already, abusers and predators always will take advantage and exploit of the weaknesses and flaws on an individual, they will adapt and change their tactic according to the victim needs, that's why anyone could become a victim, it doesn't matter if your IQ is up there on the moon.

It's not about being too "stupid" to not realize there was abuse, it's a deep, complicated and terrible ensemble of thoughts and insecurities tangling around the brain in such a way that there's no a way to blame the abuser without feeling at fault, or at the very least without feeling scared of retaliation or lost, it's a power dynamic that messes up the sense of self.

[masqueradeoftheguilty]

mmm. more penacony thoughts.

i like the main story idea and its had some good parts but. i feel like im just not seeing the peak writing others are. the pov jumping makes it all a bit messy, the long character backstory jumpcuts are frustrating, theres sO muCH standing around and talking and dont even get me started on the filler!

but on the other hand it has gotten me back into playing. i doubt itll stick but i have been wanting to actually get through the story (only to be reminded of it being a slog)

[sketchthetofu]

YEAH IT WOULD HURT…

LMAO JADE- “u can’t do that bc we will get grounded, and Tides gonna be super disappointed in us, I don’t think William will be able to handle that look at him.”

UAAAGHHHHH DAKOTA SMILING GENUINE… I bet Dakota is pretty okay with this, bc it makes sense the PD would want answers, they burned down their base, their home, ofc they’re mad Doug and him just took so much from them, even tho they weren’t involved in the kidnapping of Tide (which I think Dakota would not agree with at all with his complicated relationship with parental figures and prob knowing how much Tide means to the PD from being friends at school).

Hellfire getting excited and prob hitting too hard bc of that (ig if he’s not doing many fights he also doesn’t know how much he’s supposed to pull back for his hits). Oooo fun thought process there with him wanting that adrenaline high & working for Overlord giving him that <3!

Makes sense makes sense! (I had to ask, u know how much of a sucker I am for Dakota being mutated-)

“Their emotional support villain” GIGGLES I LOVE THAT- thats so silly and they would totally do something like that, frick Overlord that’s our lil guy now <3. Uaaghh wait how does Overlord being killed affects Dakotas being a villain? sense he’s not getting payed for it anymore and basically lost his job bc of it, making so he’s at square one again unless he finds more for hire villain jobs outside of the circle he was in :O?

good mmorning in the time youve been gone ive made another au. this one is dakota centric

OMG YIPPEE!!! AND THE CROWD CHEERS FOR WE GOT ANOTHER DAKOTA CENTRIC AU!!!! 🎉✨

I think I just saw the art for it, Hellfire Dakota right :O??? I love him sm…. U gotta tell me about him….

[strawbubbysugar]

Coming off anon for this one cuz oh boy it’s theory time and I’m feeling very silly

(I just woke up at the time of writing so sorry for any typos, rambling, or confusion lol)

Alright! So, I’ve been thinking a lot about the existence of Eclipse and the theories popping up about them lately mainly: that Clipsey is a recycle of Moon’s broken body. Which I’ll touch up on first.

The issue that was presented with Moon by this definitely-not-at-all-suspicious engineer was that his processing unit was smashed and ‘unsalvageable’ (which we know to not be true), and aside from the obvious injuries cause by Trap, no major problems with Moon’s case are brought up. His *internals* were destroyed, aside from his battery which was reused.

Continuing forward, the SOMA comparisons. Reading through a plot synopsis of the game, I can’t help but link the destruction of Moon-man’s processing unit and Simon’s brain injury together a bit. Considering that that is the partial cause for Sun and Moon combining and the reason for Simon getting his brain scan copy. Both undergoing heavy ‘brain’ damaging and being brought to very odd circumstances because of it.

With the assumption that this is *actually* Moon’s body, “Uploaded into a modified corpse” is a *very* apt description for what Eclipse is. They’re a copy of someone (two people technically) inhabiting the dead body of the original, almost like Pry/ncess in a weird way.

That’s where the comparisons for the game and Bethroned end to my knowledge however, so time to move onto the more ‘looking too far into things’ section of my theory,

The design and color scheme!

Starting off, I noticed that the coloring of the Sun side on their face was reused from *post incident* which makes sense, that’s how Sun would’ve been seen last before running away with Pry/ncess, the eyes obviously match up as well.

Though the tops of the rays have noticeably sharper points to them if that’s anything at all, it’s impossible to draw the something the same way every single time after all so that can be easily written off.

The same can be said for Moon as well, the coloring of his face matches up with theirs, however his other features are… very much not intact. Very close but not quite.

The coloring and patterning of the hat is entirely different, the cape maintains the same coloring but the stars on Eclipse’s are much smaller and more faded than Moon’s as well.

What’s throwing me off though is the eyes, for both post incident and for Eclipse the right eye gained a black sclera, Moon’s pupil turned white, but Eclipse’s stayed red.

If Eclipses body was Moon’s then this could’ve happened naturally, the eye could’ve simply underwent the same damage/change as it did with Moon’s form in Sun’s body. Though do to this being his actual form the pupil could’ve kept its regular eye color.

Their lack of a mouth could also mean that they can’t speak, another drastic contrast in characterization to our boys. From the artwork we’ve been shone of them they see, cunning, clever, but very, VERY distressed. (Be a bit weird to consciously design eye-bags on your new king after all, right? That’s their own fault.)

And for my last point, their crown and the Opal.

This is the most obvious ‘combination’ in their design, it gets the rounded bottom of Sun’s and the gem formation and top shape of Moon’s. When overlayed on top of each other you also get similar colors to Eclipse’s crown, though more cleaned up and appealing on the eyes.

The gem in this crown has been confirmed to be an opal (if my memory serves me right I can’t find the post anywhere to confirm, tumblr search engine is bleh)

There were a few pieces of folklore and symbolism relating to the opal that I found particularly interesting with what little we know about Eclipse.

Mainly, it representing loyalty and goodluck as well as royalty. A lot of other interpretations I found pointed to it granting foresight and being responsible for prophecy, something you’d certainly want your king to have after the huge string of ‘bad luck’ that befell both of them.

Loyalty to prevent another incident like Sun choosing Pry/ncess over his kingdom and trusting them first, foresight and prophecy so that they can avoid incident like King Freddy dying and, well, Sun and Moon’s incident. and royalty is obvious.

Though the loyalty interpretation and foresight/intelligence can vary widely in intention depending on if Chica or PeePaw (maybe both, stares at Trap) is responsible for their existence. Cant speak that much on it before they’ve even appeared in the story.

Alright so what am I getting at with all this? Well, put simply, Eclipse’s design and name are very very intentional and combining the Princes was clearly in mind when they were (re)built by whoever their creator is. I believe that they attempted to program, be it from scratch with parts of Moon’s processor or with some kind of backup of Sun *somehow*, Sun into Moon’s body and combine their ai together in order to make a new heir.

Again, can’t find the message, but Eclipse’s existence was described as ‘decidedly uncomfortable’ which is very understandable if this were true, having you and your brother’s brain and memories COMPLETELY sewn together, not even with semi separate minds or personalities like with the actual Sun and Moon, would be very, VERY lacking in the ‘good for your mental health’ department, especially if you knew you aren’t the original ‘you’, just a clone, a do-over, a combination of two other failures that you need to clean the mess from up.

Put simply, I believe Eclipse is a combination of Sun and Moon, but not THE combination of Sun and Moon. If that makes any sense. They’re a replication of both placed inside Moon’s old body and used to fill the empty spot on the throne and potentially-maybe-hopefully-not help Afton.

Hands down my favourite ask ever. Like oh my god you did it. You got everything. You caught all the little secrets I put in and I’m flabbergasted. WOW. I AM. SO HAPPY HSFSG

THANK YOU FOR PUTTING SO SO SO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT AND ENERGY INTO THIS ANALYSIS BECAUSE I JUST. I MIGHT CRY. THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME SOBS :;;

[nyoomfruits]

For the kiss thingy landoscar 17!!!!

17. kiss to distract

“But then, if Max gets fifth, and I get fourth, I still win, but only if Charles doesn’t get third. Oh, and if Yuki doesn’t win. But if I win and Charles gets second, that’s fine? But Max can’t place above me regardless. If he wins it’s all over. So I definitely need to place above Max, and not more then one below Charles. But if Charles-“

“Lando,” Oscar cuts him off, from where he’s sitting on the couch, amused expression on his face. He’s already in his Red Bull polo, and Lando is once again struck by how well dark blue looks on him. Sure, Lando still thinks orange looks much better on him, but that probably mostly has something to do with how Oscar was wearing orange when he fell in love with him. Or something.

Besides, he’s traded his own orange hoodie for a black one a while ago, so really he isn’t one to talk. It’s laid out on the bed next to him as he speaks, but he hasn’t been able to bring himself to actually put it on and walk out of their hotel room. Something about it makes it all so official.

If he puts the hoodie on, he’s one step closer to winning the championship. If he puts the hoodie on, he’s one step closer to losing the championship.

“I mean, I probably shouldn’t worry too much about Charles, Ferrari has been Ferrari-ing it a lot lately, so the chances of them screwing something up at least are pretty big. Oh my god, what if my team screws up? I mean I love those guys to death, but we’re so close to winning a championship here, and they have to be nervous, and you know what happens when a crew gets nervous, they get all jittery and-“

“Lando,” Oscar repeats, and he’s in front of him suddenly. He’s smiling, that soft one with the crinkly eyes he saves specifically for Lando, and Lando can’t help but smile back, even though he knows it’s a little fragile at the edges.

“I’m sorry,” Lando sighs. “I know it’s unfair to you, you’re practically out of the running, unless Max, Charles and I all DNF, or fall outside the points. Or, hey, no, if Max and I DNF and Charles gets, uh, eight, and you win, then you could still-“

Oscar kisses him. As far as distraction methods go, it’s pretty effective, because Lando’s brain immediately turns to TV static.

“What was that for?” He asks, when he pulls away, even though he kind of already knows the answer.

“You were rambling,” Oscar says, smiling fondly. He’s still holding Lando’s face, and pulls him forward ever so slightly to press a kiss to his forehead.

“Bleh,” Lando says, lets himself flop forward into Oscar’s embrace, nose buried into the crook of his neck. “I’m nervous,” he says.

He can feel Oscar’s smile press against the top of his head. “I know.”

“What if I don’t win?” He asks. “What if I go through all of this and then I just don’t win?” It’s the one thing that’s been on his mind the most. What if he’s been fighting this whole year only to throw it away at the last moment. What then?

Oscar shrugs, jostling Lando a little in the process. “Then you take a deep breath, straighten your shoulders, and try again.”

“Hm,” Lando says. It’s not that reassuring, but Oscar’s never really been good at being reassuring. It’s what Lando loves about him, at the end of the day. How he will always be honest, even though that’s not what Lando wants or needs to hear.

“Hey,” Oscar says, pulling away from the hug so he can look at Lando. “I love you.”

“Yeah,” Lando says, smiling. At least he’s won that. “I love you too,” he says, and with one last kiss to Oscar’s lips, goes to pull on his hoodie.

[wraith-caller]

hii!!! just wanted to say i've been seeing a lot of your stuff about the d twins and wanna say that i love everything you're talking about !! they mean a lot to me and my sister and are glad that other people like them just as much as us

:] thank you for saying so. i enjoy thinking and writing about them, and i am always happy to meet others who like them too. like pretty much every character in the game, they are compelling and tragic and flawed and relatable all at once. darian's kindness coupled with his dedication to such a cruel order is especially interesting. i just love that he and devin were treated so terribly by the world, but darian still has it in him to have concern for a stranger's safety and is so eager to call you a friend. but that he isn't this perfectly rational being who can look at what the order has done and refuse them - he is desperate for acceptance and belonging, and he won't risk losing it once he's found it. while devin is harder to get a bead on since we are seeing him in a freshly traumatized state, he serves as the sort of 'darker' side of what this lifetime of complete societal shunning can do to a person - the anger and rage and guilt and shame, all lashing out at the ones who have hurt him. darian wants to be accepted and find kinship with others, devin is the moment of duress and mourning after losing it. bleh sorry. i can't help but ramble about them. d twins fans are one of the smaller slices of ER fandom, but we're still kicking!!

[xviruserrorx]

(I was gonna reply normally but my rant got to long for Tumblr reply limits XD)

I know, I know 😩 It really was troubling me about the thought of deleting them!

One of the fics I've been thinking of deleting is just because it attracted a lot of negativity. Some people didn't agree with how I was writing a character (despite me tagging the fic ooc in case) and seasons have been continuing to come out of this show and more people keep making little comments about how I've written one character or another and how it doesn't match with what is the most current season of the media. The fic was a mixed of the old media and the new media (which some people liked) but a lot of people didn't agree with as I was kinda sticking with the older media.. And then more people didn't agree with the way I tagged the fic (again with this same character).

This fic had been getting updated every 3-7 days with 10k chapters and I had the story completely mapped out and people were routinely reading it and it picked up attention really quickly. It originally was just a one chapter thing that people reading convinced me to continue. That fic was not continued for me but for those people who wanted it (I mean this in a good way). It's also safe to say that the engagement I was getting from this fic was amazing I mean people were sending me theories of what they thought was gonna happen, I was getting multiple comments everytime I uploaded like it was fantastic and those people who were regularly reading were amazing. And the fic itself was very fun (if I may say) I'd written it in a way that it was revealing the bare minimum every chapter but still in a way that carried the story; the readers were actively engaging and having fun and I too was having fun.

But when all those negative type of comments kept coming in I ran away (back to the Merlin fandom actually funnily enough 😅). I dropped it and it wasn't till earlier this year that I had gone and looked at it again. I tried to rewrite it but I couldn't. I know it was just a difference of opinions and some people being very vocal about their opinions even though I never asked for constructive criticism on this fic or anything else...

But yeah along with a some other things that I later figured out that was why I've been thinking of deleting some things.

Saw someone recommend one of my fics now excuse me while I go cry for the rest of eternity

[weasleywinchester]

Save Yourself - Chapter 18

So We Won't Have To Keep Them All Inside

Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Helllloooo! I am so sorry for the super long hiatus. I hadn't planned that, but life got very bleh and uninspiring and stressful. Despite the next few chapters being the main part of the story I've been wanting to write I had a bit of self doubt in my ability to keep going. But it's here and hopefully on a slightly more consistent bases. If you haven't read this series then I will simply say I'm writing such a big fic because it's very much my Dean Winchester story. It's the one that has lived in my head so long, that has been thought about and rethought about so much that it makes the whole thing daunting. But my brain is back on this fic train and I'm hoping to finish it off by the end of the year. As always shout out to my tag list, you've been so patient and I hope you're as excited to read the next chapters as I am to write them. Much love 💙💙💙

Series Summary: “I promise.” Those two words would trap you in a life you never wanted. You are an artist, a hunter, a Winchester. And yet the pain in Dean’s eyes as demanded you live the life he wants you live, you couldn’t say no. You met the Winchesters by chance, found out they were real people. And you figured it was a once in a life time thing, but then Dean called you, and so did a new job. Both leading to the life you wanted, a family that didn’t begin or end in blood and a once in a life time love. And he said leave it and him behind, forget. But you can’t. Chapter Summary: The family trip to Dodge city was meant to be fun for the whole family… And it was, until it wasn’t. With Dean finally coming around on the idea of Jack not being outright evil, a bystander getting killed threw a monkey wrench into everything. And then there’s Claire; determined to be a hunter, to do it all alone until she realizes that having someone by her side is helpful. Warnings: Cannon typical violence, some fluff, some sad feels

A few days later

You all had managed to make it home in one piece. Jack was distraught and none of you knew how to help him. Death was an unfortunate part of living, and an unavoidable part of hunting. And how could you even begin to explain that to someone who’s been alive for a matter of weeks?

“I understand why you like the kid.” Dean says softly, “but I think we need to cool it with the training for a minute.” He gently slides his hand into yours, giving it a small squeeze.

“I just want him to see the world we fight for. To see what you and Sammy do is important.” You give him a meek smile.

“I know, sweetheart.” He kisses your temple, pulling you into his arms. “And you will. You make Sam and I believe in the Family Business all the time.” He chuckles.

You watch as the sleepy little town of Lebanon, Kansas rolls by; the sun is shining, crows flying through the air and baby roaring down the road. It’s amazing how the world rambles on, no matter the tragedy or joy that’s happening… Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you quickly fish it out to see a string of texts from Sammy.

“Jack isn’t taking it well.” You sigh, rubbing your eyes. Dean glances at you everyone once in a while, watching as you pull your lip in between your teeth and biting at the skin.

That’s not good. Dean thinks to himself.

“We’ll work through it.” He reassures you as he pulls up to the bunker. He swiftly glides the Impala into the garage, parking her right next to your little blue Subaru. He turns to open the door when he feels your hand on his thigh.

“You mean that?” You ask. He fully turns to you, eyes searching yours as much as yours are searching his.

“Ya.” He nods, taking a deep breath. “This case,” His gaze moves past you, eyes looking at something you can’t see. “It’s dug up a lot of memories of people I couldn’t save.”

“Dean-”

 “Not— not in a bad way sweetheart, just a reminder.” He gently cups one of your cheeks, thankful you are not one of those people. Not yet. He shakes the intrusive thought from his mind, bringing his other hand up to your cheek. “And we’ll help Jack get past this.” He brings his lips to yours, pouring every ounce of love he can into the kiss. The heat of your lips warms his body head to toe, a little bit of hope seeping back into his bones. Hope that this small bump in the road is all it is.

“And as fun as Dodge City was, I think you and I need some time alone.” Dean hums in your ear, placing a gentle kiss on your neck.

“Okay Romeo.” You giggle, playfully swatting at him. Your phone rings out and you gently pull away, earning a pitiful whine from your husband. “It’s Claire.” You sigh.

“Fine.” He playfully rolls his eyes as he slides back to his side of the car.

“Hey what’s up?”

“I need you to come help me with this case.” She blurts.

“I’m doing fine. Little stressed, how are you?” You roll your eyes. Dean flashes a smile as he gets out of the car, grabbing the bag of groceries and walking inside.

“Hi (Y/N). How are you? You wanna come on a hunt with me?” She pointedly repeats. “I could use the girl power, and a Winchester. Which you happen to be both…” A sudden wave of voices drowns out her words.

“Where are you?” You frown.

“Bar, about an hour away from Omaha.”

“Nebraska?” You scrunch your nose, sliding out of the car. “We’re kinda dealing with that baby situation still, and Dean’s finally….” As you put your hand on the door the lights in the garage flicker.

“(Y/N)?” Claire asks.

“Let me call you back.” The words slowly tumble out as you hang up, feet moving faster than your brain as you appear in the doorway to the war room. “What in sam hill happened?” You ask, running over to Dean.

“Jack’s gone.” Dean grunts as he stands, turning to help Cas.

“What?” You frown.

“Jack thinks he’s a monster.” Cas sighs as he plants himself in the nearest chair.

“What did Claire need?” Dean asks, leaning against the war table.

“Wanted help on a case.” You check him over as you direct your question to Sammy. “How are we going to find him? He can’t be out there alone.” Your mind starts to race with all the possible ways he could get hurt, or how he could accidentally hurt someone.

“Baby.” Dean pulls you back to face him.

“There’s so much that could happen.” You whisper, the terror rising in your voice. 

“Sweetheart.” He says firmly, squeezing your hands to get you to take a breath. “Go to Claire.” You open your mouth to protest but he shoots you a look, happy when your mouth snaps shut. “You help Claire, I’ll find Jack.”

“Call me -”

“When I find anything.” He nods, pulling you into his chest. “Gotta keep the kids alive.” He whispers in your ear.

“And you thought we didn’t have any kids.” You laugh.

“Should have known you’d get your way.” Dean chuckles, placing a kiss in your hair. “Be careful.” He whispers.

“I’m not the one who gets visits from Death on the norm.” You slap his back. “I will though… as long as you are too.”

“Promise.”

_______

The diner bell dings as you enter; It’s a little busy, but not much more than any of the ones back home. You wave to the waitress and pick up a couple of menus, sliding into the booth where Claire is sat. The waitress brings two mugs and a fresh pot of coffee, pouring each of you a cup before attending to the other patrons.

“We’re dealing with a nest of Vamps.” She begins.

“Why yes, the drive was good. Not much traffic, lot of semi trucks though.” You cock an eyebrow at her. She gives you a nod, letting a small sigh escape.

“Good. How’s the old man?” she asks, managing to keep the eye roll small. “ And Sam?”

“They’re good. Trying to track down that baby… who’s not actually a baby like we thought.” You frown, pouring a couple of creamers into your coffee.

“You guys always have the weirdest cases.” She shakes her head, taking a large gulp of her black coffee.

“Last name is Winchester. Pretty much a magnet for weird.” You pick the menu up, trying to read the specials but your eyes can’t seem to read any of the words. You check your cell. Nothing.

“Your volume is on-.” Claire grits her teeth as a notification dings. “If they found anything you would know.”

“Ya, well, if you ever disappear like this I would worry just the same.” You sigh. “Why did you need me on this hunt anyways?” You ask, taking a sip of your coffee.

“Can’t believe you drink it like that…” Claire looks at your mostly cream coffee in utter disgust.

“If I wanted criticism on how I take my coffee I would go find Lucifer.” You mutter.

“Like I said, I need a Winchester.” Claire reiterates. “Being a young female hunter has it's disadvantages.” Her eyes move to the door. “And Dean always tells the two of us to travel in pairs…”

You turn to see a pair of men walk in; they look like brothers, maybe a few years apart, dressed in standard issue hunter FBI suits. Ah, that’s why she didn’t want Dean.

“Brought a friend.” The older one smirks, sliding in next to you.

“(Y/N), Jason and Nick Clayton.” Claire gestures to the two. "We ran into each other while tracking one of the vamps."

“Pleasure.” You stick your hand out to Nick, the older one. “(Y/N) Winchester.” Before your name has even fully left your mouth both their jaws hit the floor. You glance at Claire, who simply shrugs.

“(Y/N) Winchester... like the one who killed Rasputin?” Jason asks.

“Killed– Dude she’s the one who took on the Devil AND GOD.” Nick exclaims.

“And freed so many trapped spirits in that haunted college–”

“And had an angel wipe her memory only for it not to work!”

You and Claire look at each other, the same look of bewilderment on your faces.

“Ok, cut the crap. It’s not like she’s famous.” Claire rolls her eyes.

“Not famous?” Nick scoffs. Claire looks over at you, her jaw clenching so hard that she’s about to break all her teeth.

“It’s because I’m Dean’s wife.” You shrug.

“What?” The brothers say in unison.

“No way. You’re not his wife. He’s your husband.” Jason clarifies.

“Lucky bastard.” Nick winks. You scoff at the absurd notion that you are more famous than Dean.

“Wow… Let’s move on from the fangirling ok?” Claire scrunches her nose in irritation.

"Now I know how Dean felt when we first met." whisper to her. "But yes, let's get this show on the road." You gesture for her to take the floor, letting her explain the current vampire problem in the area.

_______

“(Y/N)!” Claire yells as a vamp pins her to the floor. She squirms underneath him, her vision blurring as his hands close tighter around her throat. In the blink of an eye his head is gone, blood splattering her in the face.

“Thought you said you could take him?” You grin, offering your hand to her.

“Shut up.” She slaps your hand away, jumping to her feet.

“You ladies move fast!” Nick shouts as he takes out another vamp.

“Looks like it’s a party now.” You announce as the rest of the nest files inside.

“Let’s do this.” Jason grins. One vamp rushes Claire and in one clean swing his head is on the floor. Another rushes you, taking a swing of your pipe to the stomach before getting their head chopped off. 

“Pipe!” Claire yells, holding her hand out. You slap it into her palm, unsheathing your machete for another vamp as she takes the head off another. The four of you stand back to back, waiting for another wave or for someone to move.

“You know, this thing is really handy.” She breaks the silence, spinning the pipe in her hand before handing it back to you.

“Winchester original?” Nick asks.

“Saw it in a video game, thought I would give it a try.” You laugh, wiping some of the vamp guts off the knives taped to the top of it.

“We’re fucking awesome.” Claire scoffs as she slowly turns in a circle to look at all the dead vamps..

“Hell ya.” You hold your fist up and she bumps it.

“Where to next?” Jason asks.

“How about food? And sleep?” You grab Claire by the neck and lead everyone out of the barn. “And a shower. The vamps seemed extra bloody today.” You attempt to shake off some of it, but to no avail.

The two boys get in their car and you and Claire climb into hers.

"You ok?" You ask.

"Are you Kidding? We just had the coolest fight." She snorts, leaning against the steering wheel with a grin on her face.

"I meant about the fan club." You correct. "This was meant to be your hunt, not a Winchester spectacle." Not that I ever expected to be a spectacle...

"Kinda why I wanted you here." She mumbles, glancing at your sky high eyebrows. "It proved that I know what I'm doing... and that I have back up." You nod, watching as the trees whip past.

"Prove to who?" You ask, looking down at the dry vamp blood on your thighs. You see her body go rigid, hands firmly gripping the wheel.

"Me..." She answers after a moment. "... Jody."

"We all know you're a great hunter." You say softly. "It's just... not really the life that anyone wants their loved ones to have." You look over at her; she's got a bloody lip and a small scratch across her cheek but she still looks too young to be wanting this life. "But we all understand the choice." You smile at her. She smiles at you, relaxing into her seat as she speeds back to the motel.

_______

“Ya… thanks man.” Jason hangs up the phone, turning to the group. “Looks like we got the main nest. Hunters in the next county found a few stragglers but nothing else.”

Claire and Nick nod, talking about where else they could look. Their voices fade into the background, you mind racing with possible answers as to why-

“(Y/N?).” Claire whispers, gently touching your arm.

“Ya?”

“You ok?” Jason asks, sharing a look with his brother.

“I haven’t heard from Dean–”

“They’re fine.” Claire reassures, standing up from the table.

“It’s been three days… something’s wrong.” You sigh, looking out the window.

“This is why you shouldn’t fall in love. All you end up doing is worrying.” Claire glares.

“Little worry is good.” Jason smiles.

“You don’t worry about anyone?” Nick prods, earning an icy glare.

“I haven’t heard from Cas or Sam either.” Your frown deepens. 

“Wait, what?” Claire frowns. Dean tends to be hyper focused on hunting, but all three of them not keeping in touch? Definitely weird. She watches as you stare out the window, your expression flipping between worried and reprimanding yourself. “Maybe they don’t have cell service. Or they jumped in a lake with their phones again.” She shrugs. 

“I’m sure they’re fine.” Jason pats your shoulder. “Unfortunately we have to head out.”

“Family calls.” Nick agrees. You quickly exchange info, telling both of them if they need anything to call. You walk them to the door, watching as they drive off in Nick's 1967 Mustang.

“They seemed nice enough.” You shrug, taking a seat next to her on the bed.

“They were.” Claire nods. You wait for her to elaborate, watching as she studies her fingernails.

“So why call for backup?” Claire sighs, slamming her laptop closed and looking at you.

“Jody and Alex bond over helping people in normal ways.” She takes a deep breath in. “And I haven’t had that with anyone except you and Dean.”

“Sounds like you wanted some family-”

“I don’t need a family.” She states, the walls behind her eyes slowly building.

“Maybe not, but you have one.” You point out. “I don’t know what it’s like to be you Claire. But I do know you can’t keep everything inside.” You gently take her hand. “If Sam and Dean show you anything, it's that family can put you through hell, but they can also pull you out.”

Her phone buzzes loudly, you can’t see who’s calling but by the eye roll you have a good guess.

“Jody?”

“Ya. Although she already called in her weekly attempt to make me come back…” She mutters, moving her hand over the ignore button.

“Answer it.” You shout.

“Why? I already know what she-“

“Please.” You whisper. Her big doe eyes study you for a moment, and she answers.

“We’re on our way.” She tells Jody, grabbing her backpack and dragging you with her.

_______

24 hours later

“You ate a lizard?” You scrunch your nose in disgust.

“Not much else over there.” Dean chuckles against your neck.

“Claire should have stayed out here, your PDA would make her sick and she’d be back to herself in no time.” Alex playfully jabs as she grabs all her work stuff.

“Haha.” You give her a small wave as she leaves. When the door clicks shut Dean moves you into his lap, hands caressing your legs.

“Dean…” You half heartedly push his hands away. His finger ghosts over the big bandage on the side of your leg. You helped the girls save him and Sam, managing to limp away with only a gash in your leg. 

“Missed you sweetheart.” He mumbles, bringing his lips to yours.

“Missed you too.” You mumble back. He breaks the kiss, keeping his forehead against yours.

“Too close for both of us.” He states.

“Still thinking about you eating lizards.” you poke back.

“I mean it.” He takes a deep breath in, slowly letting his heart beat slow down. “To think about what could have happened.” He wraps his arms tightly around you, burying his face into your hair.

“I would rather not think about it.” You gently rub his back. “Spend too many hours doing that already.” You look out the screen door, watching as Donna, Sam and Jody laugh about something.

“Ugh, Alex was right. You two are gross.” Claire groans from the hall.

“Glad to see it puts your usual attitude back in place.” You chuckle, unraveling from Dean to look at her. She shrugs, plopping into the recliner. “You heading out?” you tentatively ask. Her eyes are puffy, hair scraped back into a ponytail.

“Think I might hang around here for a while… for Jody. And Alex.” She flashes a small smile.

“Good.” Dean nods.

“Embrace your people while they’re here.” You smile at her. 

“No good to keep everything inside.” She nods, picking at her nails. The screen door screeches as Sam walks in, taking a seat next to you and Dean.

”Well on a completely unrelated note, I am apparently more famous than you among hunters.” you poke Dean in the chest.

Dean whips his head back so fast he hits the wall behind the couch.

“Nice.” Sam chuckles.

“How?” Dean frowns. You just laugh, shaking your head and giving him a kiss.

“I mean… you are the prettiest Winchester.” Dean chuckles.

“Dean! You can’t say that when Sam is here!” You laugh.

“Ok, you guys are the worst.” Sam shakes his head and walks back outside.

Last Chapter Next Chapter

Tag list:

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@supraveng

@winchestersgirl222

@fantasy-myth1

@laycblack

@urgirlarrielle

@akshi8278

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[shiny-miltank]

A leche hobbies update:

Update on knitting adventures: almost done with a scarf I started 🤔 dropped stitches everywhere but it really helps with my adhd to have something in my hands to play with while feeling like I’m working towards something! Don’t think I’ll show it off though LMAO, it’s ugly as a scarf but I like it as a “baby’s first scarf” to look back on when I get better. And it’s warm :)!

Other thing: picked up a sewing machine from the good will and still in really great shape and working! Its old and has character and I love it HAH. I’m learning from my abuelita on her own machine. It’d be great to combine this and knitting to make essentials and to repair clothes that really need it.

Drawing/not really a hobby it’s my “Jobby”: sorry for being a lil slow on updates! I got a little bit of burnout and I really want to finish summers commissions so I can clear my schedule more. I’m just about done so I’m no longer chipping on three projects at a time between my full time job oof-but do know they are being worked on. I’ve got adoptables on the way and sketching the next ask-n update! I’ve also been keeping an eye on other places to post like insta and bluesky but I feel like I need to like…observe? Some more? Before committing and learning whole new platforms and posting schedules bleh.

I got other projects in the pipeline, one including a pmd thing, more Paldea headcanons and what not and some certain purple psychic cat things returning. But all in due time! Can’t overwhelm myself : 0

And a little bit of a rant or ramble about perhaps dropping a longtime hobby I’ve had and feeling sad about it beneath the cut ;( but if you’ve read this far thanks! Love ya’ll for supporting me!

I think a handful of you? Know I roleplay on this platform and have for a good seven? Eight? Years. It’s fun, a lot of my ideas and headcanons and art I’m known for were actually jump started by some random thread or idea from between my rp partners and what not. The Mewtwo blog, ask-n, scarlet turo and etc etc were old muses or ideas that turned into their own thing. It’s always been so easy to write and collaborate your ideas with the rp community you’re in and it becomes it’s whole big thing!

But I know it hasn’t always been the healthiest hobby for me after awhile but esp when I want to focus on content creation as a job that I’m really into. I no longer have the time to maintain plots and characters despite being so determined to stick to it. It’s becoming more of a distraction of just scrolling down the rp dashboard out of FOMO more then anything and heck I can’t even see most of it as a lot of events and verses and etc I blacklist to attempt to curb anxiety and distractions which haven’t been working lately 🤔 I still get lots of anxiety.

That and the community’s changed really. I know every old rper has typed their piece on “back in the good old days-“, leaves their blog and doesn’t give any useful advice or attempt to change the narrative lol. I don’t want to do that.

And it’s not the communities fault either. It’s natural for spaces to change to help new ideas and new people come in. It just means maybe it’s no longer meant for me and that’s okay. If anything it’s more how my friends I’ve been with for all my time there have left or are leaving. There’s a disconnect I can’t seem to get over no matter what new muse or idea I promote esp when I’m no longer comfortable in the space I enjoyed for so long. I never had to block so many things before and again not the communities fault and none of the things I’m blocking are unsavory, it’s more like my tastes and likes and dislikes and what I have spoons for have just become different over so long. It’s totally a me thing.

It’s in my mind that maybe it’s okay to let it go since I’m getting so hyped for my newer hobbies and the ideas I have for my art/comics. I don’t have the time anymore to dedicate so much energy on it like I use to esp when even over all my work Im still figuring out my adhd after getting diagnosed officially, new meds, the other mental diagnosis that makes the mental soup in my head alongside other life stuff.

I owe rp in general for helping me get that creative spark and through a lot of tough, long dark times. It’s provided me with the escapism and outlet since like, forever. I started rping in ye old Neopet neomail days and haven’t stopped since besides the occasional period that didn’t last long. Who knows maybe this is just a rut and I’ll feel better tomorrow or next week or something. Could be the change of seasons where my seasonal depression kicks in but I’m not quitting yet but it’s somewhere in the funky mind palace as I navigate this weird patch.

Thanks if you’ve read my ramblings this far! I wish there was a way to reward peeps who read through my long jargon? It just feels good to know I can scream into the void and sometimes I’ll have one or two people nod at me in understanding. Idk, I’ll think of something—

[spicyraeman]

Well interacting with you makes my week too! **aggressive friendly fist bump**

I hope your holidays are going well 😁

Wolfheart is ending me. Can I pet that dawg? CAN I PET THAT DAWG? (https://vt.tiktok.com/ZGeN9U7kG/)

I love seeing the hairy SH art! PCOS / trans / wolf girlie, I stan all versions I see. We're not cowards here! The new band drawings are fire, still making my heartrate go jglcbxlw. And seeing the growth? Honestly it's magic to me, I think it's perfect then it becomes even more perfect and I'm just how?? How possible?

Veteran'zel, Baby'zel, Beam'zel, Horny'zel, Rat'zel, all I do is love'zel! The cheetah/dog doodle + wet rat'zel made me hiccup from laughter, we were blessed.

Buddy, Karlach's got her tail docked like the gith children, that's why! See, problem fixed **insert Flex Tape meme**

Also for Lae'zel's accent : yes, she would have such a harsh accent! As a foreign speaker, the pronunciation isn't always intuitive and is sometimes paradoxal. She probably never used some sounds, and it's hard to guess a lot of them. It's so inconsistent. I lack air in the middle of my sentences because of the tonal accentuations differences. Languages are crazy man. Lae'zel would have a stroke, struggling to say "library" with Gale correcting her.

I've been upgraded to bestie? Careful, I feel like the most specialest goblin in town now 😎

I also wanted to share with you my recent victory : I passed my exams with unexpectedly high grades! It's been 10 years since I succeeded in anything school related, I feel strangely proud and hopeful. I attribute this partly to the intense hyperfixation for BG3. I can come back to this fandom and get comfort when I feel burned out and in need of motivation. Thank you for being part of it and sharing your blorbos with us. Good soup for our cold starving souls. So yeah, you and your art matter even if you find it bleh sometimes and you doubt yourself.

I wanted to be brief but I'm incapable of shortening shit even if my life depended on it. Violently dumping my brain in your ask like I'm late on garbage collecting day. Sorry not sorry for the awkward emotional stuff. Take care of yourself, bestie ✌️

🫀🚑

Sry for answering these “backwards”, I just needed to get the conlang stuff out first before all my good braincells shut down lol

hope the holidays are going well on your end as well :]

To pet a werewolf truly is the dream isn’t it, wereshart is prob my fav hc for her it just fits so well. I've been trying really hard lately to figure out how to draw her recently bc despite the art disparity her and lae’zel are neck in neck at being my fav characters. Seeing the growth in the bass drawing really gave me that boost of confidence that I'm at least slightly getting there lol

I truly do love Lae’zel in every form, but wet rat’zel rotates in my mind more than it should, sadly its not a hc I could ever commit to considering I can’t even remember Karlach’s canon tail lmaoo I really should just hc that karlach got her tail docked at this point, that or I need to make a checklist for her so I can go through and make sure ive got all her bits when I draw her

Also Ive already posted my big rambling mess about Gith accents but yeah harsh accent lae'zel best lae'zel, it just makes sense

But yoooo big gratz on the exams! Def something to be proud of!! I can agree this fandom really is a huge motivator, I haven’t had this much drive to do anything I've been doing recently in years. Glad I could help provide a lil comfort spot full of blorbo soup for the soul lol

Dw about shortening shit as you’ve prob seen i’m prone to rambling and also every emotion I experience is awkward so that's just par for the course here.

Hope life treats you well till the next ask, peace ✌️

[yourmoonmomma]

Hi!

I’ll definitely consider changing therapists! thank you for the suggestion. I’ll give it another session to see how I feel and then look elsewhere if needed.

Therapy is strange..Idk I’ve always been comfortable with my emotions (it took a lot of internal work during my younger years). But, when it comes to therapy, I struggle to get words out and I’m really panicky. I’m not sure if this is because every time I would show emotions with my ex he’d tell me I was living in my head or just bringing up the past? I cried so much during the relationship when he would get really distant, and I just remember him just watching me. No words, nothing. He would say it killed him inside but idk actions will always be more valuable than words.

Continuing on from that point. Lately I’ve been feeling like it was all my fault, that I was the one who treated him badly. Every time we’d argue it was always because I bought something up and we’d go in this cycle. But he was a good guy, kind, loyal, and I think he tried. This ofc, just makes me feel like trash because maybe I didn’t appreciate him? I see things on social media like “if your ex did any of these things you deserve better” and it’s stuff like cheating, following other girls on socials, name calling etc. He didn’t do those things, we struggled on the emotional side of things..Did I ruin something good? The guilt consumes me a lot. Even when it ended he told me I was asking for too much and his family was more important. I still don’t know what I asked for other than to have more than one date a month and consistent communication..

I keep asking everyone if it was my fault, truthfully I feel like I ruined it all. I replay the day before the breakup where I knew from his eyes that the love wasnt there but he still said he loved me. It really haunts me. I’ve been asking a mutual friend of ours to let him know that I want a final conversation where I can admit my faults and guilt. This friend said he won’t do that because I was treated badly, and i need to hold my self respect. Deep down I know I was horrible, no one seems to believe me.

Bleh sorry for the rambling, I should ask though, how have you been? I hope you’re taking care of yourself and staying hydrated! -🐼

Hi lovely!

I'm glad to hear you're open to doing that <33 I've seen probably close to 10 therapists in my life, and of those 10, only 2 (one of which is my current therapist) was the perfect match for what I needed. It can be discouraging sometimes, going through so many, but when you find the one that fits your needs, it's worth it!

Actions ARE more valuable than words, and I'm sorry he didn't respond better to your emotions :( You can always say that to a therapist though! Something like "sorry, I just need a few moments to gather my thoughts, I'm feeling something, but I'm scared of saying it/unsure of how to say it/can't name the feeling". You're allowed to sit there with your feelings until you can express them!

Just because someone tries doesn't mean they were right for you. They don't have to cheat to still not be the person you should be with. If it was good, it wouldn't have ended. I understand that guilt or fear or worry, but there will be a better person that comes along for you, I'm sure of it. You are NOT asking for too much by asking for more communication or more dates. You just need to find someone who also wants those things, or is willing to provide you with those things. That is not too much to ask, especially from the right person.

I don't believe you were horrible, but I am sorry you feel that way. If you were, it's important to know it takes two people to end a relationship, in most cases. It sounds like you were willing to work on things, if he was willing to work with you, and he wasn't. No matter who is "horrible" that's all it comes down to. Faults or not, a good thing or not, he wasn't willing to continue working on the relationship.

Don't be sorry for rambling, that's what I'm here for <333 I've been okay though! Jayson surprised me with a new phone after I smashed mine, so I'm very happy about that :3 Been eating way too much it feels like lately, especially for how broke we are lol, but it's been nice to cook & eat food. I hope, despite everything, you're taking care of yourself too <3

[ringtownrangerlark]

Sending an ask to stop that post from getting unmanageably long (seems to happen with us a lot).

RE your tags - like yeah absolutely, you are talking to the #1 League Hater, Hater of Pokemon Leagues Everywhere. But also like, if the funding doesn't come from them it has to either come from Almia or from that region's government (which is typically too busy funding the league to even think about the Union). We are a not-for-profit, that money has to come from somewhere, and Almia's pockets aren't exactly deep.

And besides...that double standard for partners isn't coming as a request from the League (at least, not from this League, I wouldn't be surprised if other regions have made this demand). That's the Union imposing that standard on us in anticipation of possible future complaints.

Bleh. It does feel gross to even kind of defend a League. We should have ourselves a little bitch fest about Leagues, I promise I've got some stories. But La Primera would never fail Medusa. If there's one thing I need you to know about Paldea, it's that they have one of the most ethical Leagues I think it's possible to make.

-@paldean-ranger-brandy

That's fair! Sorry- I do seem to tend to ramble.

Agreed that Almia can't fun every ranger union everywhere. It's a tiny region.

The Fiorean government funds out Ranger League and I see that as the best option, really. I mean, rangers provide a public service: we manage natural disasters, we keep the roads clear, we keep people/cities safe from wild pokemon. Investing in the rangers keeps civilization running.

The fact that the government instead is putting their resourced toward the league makes it seem more like a league problem again. Can't the league be self-funded? I imagine there are registration fees, not to mention item and ticket and merchandise sales from all the fandom around league matches. What public service are they providing besides ecological destruction? Frankly the only government funding the league should get is from like a tourism department or something, and even that seems redundant.

I'm glad Paldea's league is ethical in your experience. But that the local Union is more concerned about hypothecal appearances to the league rather than backing a successful ranger doing their job properly is backwards and downright shameful.

[unfortunate--moth]

:D

There's a lot of ships I've seen so I'm gonna a rapid fire say how I'd rate them and commentary

GOD THIS IS GONNA BE LONG

0104 <- 2/10. I can see the appeal but they're more siblings, they're very dysfunctional together and don't have the best relationship. Plus, any Haruka ship is a turn off for me.

0004 <- 6/10. It's cute and I see why people like it. Es and Muu would make a pretty funny couple outside Milgram.

0103 <- 0/10. They're brothers in my eyes, and as I said before, Haruka ships are bleh. Also, uhh... 17 and 20??? Age gap??? Not legal???

0203 <- 5/10. They'd be besties, and Yuno would bully(friendly, tho) the hell out of Fuuta. Romantically nah.

0204 <- 7/10. I see the appeal, actually, and they're both high schoolers! I feel like the whole Yuno dislikes Muu would definitely make it interesting.

0305 <- 2/10. I see them as bickering, son, calm father, trying his best. Fuuta acts too much like a child for me to even take this ship seriously 💀

0506 <- 9/10. I downloaded 5 0506 art pics today and I'm NOT upset! Team mom and team dad! Gotta love them, they're just so AREGGG ADORABLE

0306 <- 5/10. Throw in Mikoto, and it goes to a 10/10 ship. 0306 alone, though, is basically angry Fuuta and Mappi, trying her best to calm him down.

0507 <- 10/10. It's one of my favorite ships. They kiss, and the world is happiness.

0607 <- 8/10. Team mom x Team dad but it's the oldest of both genders. It's wonderful but 0506 appeals more to me more.

0307 <- 3/10. The age gap and how Fuuta acts might as well have Kazui be his dad 💀

0309 <- 10/10. No questions asked. They're just adorable and would work perfectly romantically and Platonally.

0609 <- 8/10. They're so cuteness overload core. 2 rays of sunshine :3

0310 <- 0/10. Did we watch the same milgram? Mf this is enemies to lovers to the physical extreme.

0210 <- 7/10. I've seen a bit of it and can see the appeal. 2 smart gals who are also cold. Perfection. I prefer them as like, cool friends who bully Fuuta tho hehe.

0610 <- 10/10. Lesbians in love PLEASEEE

0909 <- 9/9. I actually like 0909 after I understood it, John and Mikoto have such an interesting dynamic, and I live for it. (090909 is awesome, too)

0710 <- 5/10. I'm netural on it. No strong feelings either way.

0910 <- 4/10. They're so siblings and that's final.

0103050708 family <- ♾️/10. They're SUCH A FAMILY OK???

...

You said I could ramble.. /j

- Kat :3

i feel like if we put all these numbers together we could make an uncrackable password/lh

i feel like i agree with all of these opinions!! i do think any ship with fuuta is gonna be hilarious. i cannot see him with shidou or kazui but the thought of it is really funny. in my brain its shidou wrangling a stray cat and with kazui its like somehow finding your dad's friend on grindr /j /j

also i never considered family 0103050708 but i needed to make this meme immediately im so sorry

[rosettastarlight]

Since I’m finally feeling better, and I figured I should get this all out now before the life gets sucked out of me by the joy that is customer service during the Holidays, bleh, but this is basically headcanons I’ve got for the au where Jim Hopper and Vance Hopper are father and son. Obviously, this is full au since I’ve already discussed canon compliant because the timelines match up a lot better than you think for a tragic backstory, but anyway! Full au entails the Black Phone taking place around 1983 or 1984 which would make Vance only about a year or two above El (I can never see him past 14 whenever I post about him, so he’s 14 when he moves to Hawkins and 13 when he was kidnapped), where Vance ends up moving to Hawkins after his dad insists on seeing him more because both the Grabber and Disappearance of Will Byers would, um, definitely be incidents that made Hopper realize life’s too short. 

I feel like I should also mention I personally headcanon Vance as autistic, and I might give him traits I myself have. Also, that in this au, Vance would have been born in 1969-70 instead of 1964 to fit, and that the “Refrigerator mom theory” was only just starting to be discredited in the 60s and 70s, which was a theory people believed meant autism and neurodivergent symptoms in general were the parents’ fault because they didn’t give their child the correct amount of love and attention they should have during their developmental years. With that aside, I kinda tend to ramble, so if this is long, I’m sorry.

It’s mostly about some I have about Vance in general and the Hopper family before Sarah died, so on we go!

Hopper was still very much nervous about having kids due to the stories he heard from old friends who were exposed to Agent Orange with him, about their kids being born wrong or not at all, so he'd never been more relieved or happy when Vance was born perfectly fine if a little early. He figured he maybe got lucky, and wasn’t quite as anxious or felt as guilty about withholding the risks from Diane when she told him she was pregnant again nearly a year later.

Of course, when Sarah got sick with cancer, Jim realized he wasn’t the one that was lucky, Vance was, and he does wonder to himself sometimes through the years if maybe the reason Vance is so “different” is because the chemicals were passed down to him through Jim, too, just in a different way.

The camera shot of Hopper crying in the hospital stairwell is through the perspective of nine-year-old Vance who realized in that moment his sister was never getting better because his father never cries.

Vance is very touch averse unless you're close to him like friends, his parents or Sarah, and even then a warning is best, from behind is not advised without letting him know its you (after escaping the Grabber, coming up and touches from behind was completely off limits for a long while, it sent him into full fight or flight mode and you know exactly which one he's gonna pick), and sometimes touch can still get too much and he will make it known. He reacts really badly otherwise, if you are not close and you touch him, you get a warning on good days by just pushing you away and on bad days, expect him to swing at you.

Vance is not good at reading social cues or how he's supposed to react in certain situations, which results in his rude and standoffish behavior.

When he likes something, he gets very cautious with anything different, someone once posted that getting Vance to try something new is like getting a feral cat into a bath, and that's all I can see.

When getting instructions, Vance needs them super specific, he'll ask questions and such of what exactly he's doing or grabbing, it drives Jim up the wall and he tries to stay patient when Vance is practically interrogating him or when he's not specific enough which ends with Vance bringing back or doing the wrong thing he was supposed to.

This is both because Hopper knows his son just wants to be sure and do a good job and because he knows if he loses his temper and snaps at him, Vance will bring or do the wrong thing on purpose out of pure pettiness and spite.

Jim and Vance's similarities both divide them and bring them together. When Vance was a kid, it helped bond them because while Jim didn't entirely understand what Vance had, he did understand Vance got angry easily the same way he did when he was younger (although for different reasons, Jim because his dad was a fairly abusive douchebag, and Vance because he is easily overstimulated and had a lot of meltdowns.), and tried ways that helped his anger issues to help Vance that actually worked somewhat.

Big Hopper taught little Hopper how to fight. He thought it might help Vance to get the anger out since sometimes, to him, you just need to hit something, and would often encourage him to playfight or practice his punches when he could see Vance start to get overwhelmed at home.

Diane fought with him about it because she didn't like him encouraging violence to solve problems.

Hopper would also playing loud music on the car radio that he knew Vance liked to calm him down by being able to listen to just one, constant sound while he quietly coached him through breathing techniques.

Overall, neither he nor Diane really understood how to deal with Vance, they did try their best with varying results, but every now and then Vance tries to let them know the effort’s still appreciated.

Jim honestly doesn't mind Vance's aversion and just chooses to appreciate that he must be doing something right that Vance feels safe enough around him to consider his touch familiar and calming.

When they were still married, Diane mostly handled Vance since he needed to be handled somewhat delicately because of his aversions and hypersensitivity but at the same time needed to be taught his behavior wasn’t okay when the teacher called home for the tenth time that week on Wednesday. Meanwhile, because of Jim’s hesitance to be too strict or get angry with either of his kids, he let Sarah get away with a lot.

Daddy’s girl Sarah and Mama’s boy Vance.

I’m taking more my experiences with my brother as kids for this one since we don’t know a lot about Sarah.

Sarah and Vance were pretty close, actually, despite their differences, though Vance had to be reminded a few times to be gentle with his sister. Sometimes, the cute aggression would take hold, and he’d tackle her, poke, or pinch her playfully, and once or twice just pick her up to show he could and carry her around the house like a big teddy bear.

They would chase each other a lot and bring back home sticks, rocks, and whatever poor unfortunate worm they found on the sidewalk or grass outside.

They both loved animals and the zoo, and while never successful, would hide from their parents whenever they lured home a stray animal from mice to dogs.

Even as a kid, Vance would probably try to catch baby alligators if you let him, and “No, honey, you cannot pet the giant snake, just because it’s friend-shaped does not mean it’s a friend.”

Like most siblings, they did get into fights that would turn into brawls, but despite what Jim would ever believe, 8 times out of 10, Sarah did start it and she was a biter.

This is getting really long, so I’m just gonna make this part 1 of 2 and get back to this later.