#weasleywinchester

[weasleywinchester]

Save Yourself - Chapter 18

So We Won't Have To Keep Them All Inside

Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Helllloooo! I am so sorry for the super long hiatus. I hadn't planned that, but life got very bleh and uninspiring and stressful. Despite the next few chapters being the main part of the story I've been wanting to write I had a bit of self doubt in my ability to keep going. But it's here and hopefully on a slightly more consistent bases. If you haven't read this series then I will simply say I'm writing such a big fic because it's very much my Dean Winchester story. It's the one that has lived in my head so long, that has been thought about and rethought about so much that it makes the whole thing daunting. But my brain is back on this fic train and I'm hoping to finish it off by the end of the year. As always shout out to my tag list, you've been so patient and I hope you're as excited to read the next chapters as I am to write them. Much love 💙💙💙

Series Summary: “I promise.” Those two words would trap you in a life you never wanted. You are an artist, a hunter, a Winchester. And yet the pain in Dean’s eyes as demanded you live the life he wants you live, you couldn’t say no. You met the Winchesters by chance, found out they were real people. And you figured it was a once in a life time thing, but then Dean called you, and so did a new job. Both leading to the life you wanted, a family that didn’t begin or end in blood and a once in a life time love. And he said leave it and him behind, forget. But you can’t. Chapter Summary: The family trip to Dodge city was meant to be fun for the whole family… And it was, until it wasn’t. With Dean finally coming around on the idea of Jack not being outright evil, a bystander getting killed threw a monkey wrench into everything. And then there’s Claire; determined to be a hunter, to do it all alone until she realizes that having someone by her side is helpful. Warnings: Cannon typical violence, some fluff, some sad feels

A few days later

You all had managed to make it home in one piece. Jack was distraught and none of you knew how to help him. Death was an unfortunate part of living, and an unavoidable part of hunting. And how could you even begin to explain that to someone who’s been alive for a matter of weeks?

“I understand why you like the kid.” Dean says softly, “but I think we need to cool it with the training for a minute.” He gently slides his hand into yours, giving it a small squeeze.

“I just want him to see the world we fight for. To see what you and Sammy do is important.” You give him a meek smile.

“I know, sweetheart.” He kisses your temple, pulling you into his arms. “And you will. You make Sam and I believe in the Family Business all the time.” He chuckles.

You watch as the sleepy little town of Lebanon, Kansas rolls by; the sun is shining, crows flying through the air and baby roaring down the road. It’s amazing how the world rambles on, no matter the tragedy or joy that’s happening… Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you quickly fish it out to see a string of texts from Sammy.

“Jack isn’t taking it well.” You sigh, rubbing your eyes. Dean glances at you everyone once in a while, watching as you pull your lip in between your teeth and biting at the skin.

That’s not good. Dean thinks to himself.

“We’ll work through it.” He reassures you as he pulls up to the bunker. He swiftly glides the Impala into the garage, parking her right next to your little blue Subaru. He turns to open the door when he feels your hand on his thigh.

“You mean that?” You ask. He fully turns to you, eyes searching yours as much as yours are searching his.

“Ya.” He nods, taking a deep breath. “This case,” His gaze moves past you, eyes looking at something you can’t see. “It’s dug up a lot of memories of people I couldn’t save.”

“Dean-”

 “Not— not in a bad way sweetheart, just a reminder.” He gently cups one of your cheeks, thankful you are not one of those people. Not yet. He shakes the intrusive thought from his mind, bringing his other hand up to your cheek. “And we’ll help Jack get past this.” He brings his lips to yours, pouring every ounce of love he can into the kiss. The heat of your lips warms his body head to toe, a little bit of hope seeping back into his bones. Hope that this small bump in the road is all it is.

“And as fun as Dodge City was, I think you and I need some time alone.” Dean hums in your ear, placing a gentle kiss on your neck.

“Okay Romeo.” You giggle, playfully swatting at him. Your phone rings out and you gently pull away, earning a pitiful whine from your husband. “It’s Claire.” You sigh.

“Fine.” He playfully rolls his eyes as he slides back to his side of the car.

“Hey what’s up?”

“I need you to come help me with this case.” She blurts.

“I’m doing fine. Little stressed, how are you?” You roll your eyes. Dean flashes a smile as he gets out of the car, grabbing the bag of groceries and walking inside.

“Hi (Y/N). How are you? You wanna come on a hunt with me?” She pointedly repeats. “I could use the girl power, and a Winchester. Which you happen to be both…” A sudden wave of voices drowns out her words.

“Where are you?” You frown.

“Bar, about an hour away from Omaha.”

“Nebraska?” You scrunch your nose, sliding out of the car. “We’re kinda dealing with that baby situation still, and Dean’s finally….” As you put your hand on the door the lights in the garage flicker.

“(Y/N)?” Claire asks.

“Let me call you back.” The words slowly tumble out as you hang up, feet moving faster than your brain as you appear in the doorway to the war room. “What in sam hill happened?” You ask, running over to Dean.

“Jack’s gone.” Dean grunts as he stands, turning to help Cas.

“What?” You frown.

“Jack thinks he’s a monster.” Cas sighs as he plants himself in the nearest chair.

“What did Claire need?” Dean asks, leaning against the war table.

“Wanted help on a case.” You check him over as you direct your question to Sammy. “How are we going to find him? He can’t be out there alone.” Your mind starts to race with all the possible ways he could get hurt, or how he could accidentally hurt someone.

“Baby.” Dean pulls you back to face him.

“There’s so much that could happen.” You whisper, the terror rising in your voice. 

“Sweetheart.” He says firmly, squeezing your hands to get you to take a breath. “Go to Claire.” You open your mouth to protest but he shoots you a look, happy when your mouth snaps shut. “You help Claire, I’ll find Jack.”

“Call me -”

“When I find anything.” He nods, pulling you into his chest. “Gotta keep the kids alive.” He whispers in your ear.

“And you thought we didn’t have any kids.” You laugh.

“Should have known you’d get your way.” Dean chuckles, placing a kiss in your hair. “Be careful.” He whispers.

“I’m not the one who gets visits from Death on the norm.” You slap his back. “I will though… as long as you are too.”

“Promise.”

_______

The diner bell dings as you enter; It’s a little busy, but not much more than any of the ones back home. You wave to the waitress and pick up a couple of menus, sliding into the booth where Claire is sat. The waitress brings two mugs and a fresh pot of coffee, pouring each of you a cup before attending to the other patrons.

“We’re dealing with a nest of Vamps.” She begins.

“Why yes, the drive was good. Not much traffic, lot of semi trucks though.” You cock an eyebrow at her. She gives you a nod, letting a small sigh escape.

“Good. How’s the old man?” she asks, managing to keep the eye roll small. “ And Sam?”

“They’re good. Trying to track down that baby… who’s not actually a baby like we thought.” You frown, pouring a couple of creamers into your coffee.

“You guys always have the weirdest cases.” She shakes her head, taking a large gulp of her black coffee.

“Last name is Winchester. Pretty much a magnet for weird.” You pick the menu up, trying to read the specials but your eyes can’t seem to read any of the words. You check your cell. Nothing.

“Your volume is on-.” Claire grits her teeth as a notification dings. “If they found anything you would know.”

“Ya, well, if you ever disappear like this I would worry just the same.” You sigh. “Why did you need me on this hunt anyways?” You ask, taking a sip of your coffee.

“Can’t believe you drink it like that…” Claire looks at your mostly cream coffee in utter disgust.

“If I wanted criticism on how I take my coffee I would go find Lucifer.” You mutter.

“Like I said, I need a Winchester.” Claire reiterates. “Being a young female hunter has it's disadvantages.” Her eyes move to the door. “And Dean always tells the two of us to travel in pairs…”

You turn to see a pair of men walk in; they look like brothers, maybe a few years apart, dressed in standard issue hunter FBI suits. Ah, that’s why she didn’t want Dean.

“Brought a friend.” The older one smirks, sliding in next to you.

“(Y/N), Jason and Nick Clayton.” Claire gestures to the two. "We ran into each other while tracking one of the vamps."

“Pleasure.” You stick your hand out to Nick, the older one. “(Y/N) Winchester.” Before your name has even fully left your mouth both their jaws hit the floor. You glance at Claire, who simply shrugs.

“(Y/N) Winchester... like the one who killed Rasputin?” Jason asks.

“Killed– Dude she’s the one who took on the Devil AND GOD.” Nick exclaims.

“And freed so many trapped spirits in that haunted college–”

“And had an angel wipe her memory only for it not to work!”

You and Claire look at each other, the same look of bewilderment on your faces.

“Ok, cut the crap. It’s not like she’s famous.” Claire rolls her eyes.

“Not famous?” Nick scoffs. Claire looks over at you, her jaw clenching so hard that she’s about to break all her teeth.

“It’s because I’m Dean’s wife.” You shrug.

“What?” The brothers say in unison.

“No way. You’re not his wife. He’s your husband.” Jason clarifies.

“Lucky bastard.” Nick winks. You scoff at the absurd notion that you are more famous than Dean.

“Wow… Let’s move on from the fangirling ok?” Claire scrunches her nose in irritation.

"Now I know how Dean felt when we first met." whisper to her. "But yes, let's get this show on the road." You gesture for her to take the floor, letting her explain the current vampire problem in the area.

_______

“(Y/N)!” Claire yells as a vamp pins her to the floor. She squirms underneath him, her vision blurring as his hands close tighter around her throat. In the blink of an eye his head is gone, blood splattering her in the face.

“Thought you said you could take him?” You grin, offering your hand to her.

“Shut up.” She slaps your hand away, jumping to her feet.

“You ladies move fast!” Nick shouts as he takes out another vamp.

“Looks like it’s a party now.” You announce as the rest of the nest files inside.

“Let’s do this.” Jason grins. One vamp rushes Claire and in one clean swing his head is on the floor. Another rushes you, taking a swing of your pipe to the stomach before getting their head chopped off. 

“Pipe!” Claire yells, holding her hand out. You slap it into her palm, unsheathing your machete for another vamp as she takes the head off another. The four of you stand back to back, waiting for another wave or for someone to move.

“You know, this thing is really handy.” She breaks the silence, spinning the pipe in her hand before handing it back to you.

“Winchester original?” Nick asks.

“Saw it in a video game, thought I would give it a try.” You laugh, wiping some of the vamp guts off the knives taped to the top of it.

“We’re fucking awesome.” Claire scoffs as she slowly turns in a circle to look at all the dead vamps..

“Hell ya.” You hold your fist up and she bumps it.

“Where to next?” Jason asks.

“How about food? And sleep?” You grab Claire by the neck and lead everyone out of the barn. “And a shower. The vamps seemed extra bloody today.” You attempt to shake off some of it, but to no avail.

The two boys get in their car and you and Claire climb into hers.

"You ok?" You ask.

"Are you Kidding? We just had the coolest fight." She snorts, leaning against the steering wheel with a grin on her face.

"I meant about the fan club." You correct. "This was meant to be your hunt, not a Winchester spectacle." Not that I ever expected to be a spectacle...

"Kinda why I wanted you here." She mumbles, glancing at your sky high eyebrows. "It proved that I know what I'm doing... and that I have back up." You nod, watching as the trees whip past.

"Prove to who?" You ask, looking down at the dry vamp blood on your thighs. You see her body go rigid, hands firmly gripping the wheel.

"Me..." She answers after a moment. "... Jody."

"We all know you're a great hunter." You say softly. "It's just... not really the life that anyone wants their loved ones to have." You look over at her; she's got a bloody lip and a small scratch across her cheek but she still looks too young to be wanting this life. "But we all understand the choice." You smile at her. She smiles at you, relaxing into her seat as she speeds back to the motel.

_______

“Ya… thanks man.” Jason hangs up the phone, turning to the group. “Looks like we got the main nest. Hunters in the next county found a few stragglers but nothing else.”

Claire and Nick nod, talking about where else they could look. Their voices fade into the background, you mind racing with possible answers as to why-

“(Y/N?).” Claire whispers, gently touching your arm.

“Ya?”

“You ok?” Jason asks, sharing a look with his brother.

“I haven’t heard from Dean–”

“They’re fine.” Claire reassures, standing up from the table.

“It’s been three days… something’s wrong.” You sigh, looking out the window.

“This is why you shouldn’t fall in love. All you end up doing is worrying.” Claire glares.

“Little worry is good.” Jason smiles.

“You don’t worry about anyone?” Nick prods, earning an icy glare.

“I haven’t heard from Cas or Sam either.” Your frown deepens. 

“Wait, what?” Claire frowns. Dean tends to be hyper focused on hunting, but all three of them not keeping in touch? Definitely weird. She watches as you stare out the window, your expression flipping between worried and reprimanding yourself. “Maybe they don’t have cell service. Or they jumped in a lake with their phones again.” She shrugs. 

“I’m sure they’re fine.” Jason pats your shoulder. “Unfortunately we have to head out.”

“Family calls.” Nick agrees. You quickly exchange info, telling both of them if they need anything to call. You walk them to the door, watching as they drive off in Nick's 1967 Mustang.

“They seemed nice enough.” You shrug, taking a seat next to her on the bed.

“They were.” Claire nods. You wait for her to elaborate, watching as she studies her fingernails.

“So why call for backup?” Claire sighs, slamming her laptop closed and looking at you.

“Jody and Alex bond over helping people in normal ways.” She takes a deep breath in. “And I haven’t had that with anyone except you and Dean.”

“Sounds like you wanted some family-”

“I don’t need a family.” She states, the walls behind her eyes slowly building.

“Maybe not, but you have one.” You point out. “I don’t know what it’s like to be you Claire. But I do know you can’t keep everything inside.” You gently take her hand. “If Sam and Dean show you anything, it's that family can put you through hell, but they can also pull you out.”

Her phone buzzes loudly, you can’t see who’s calling but by the eye roll you have a good guess.

“Jody?”

“Ya. Although she already called in her weekly attempt to make me come back…” She mutters, moving her hand over the ignore button.

“Answer it.” You shout.

“Why? I already know what she-“

“Please.” You whisper. Her big doe eyes study you for a moment, and she answers.

“We’re on our way.” She tells Jody, grabbing her backpack and dragging you with her.

_______

24 hours later

“You ate a lizard?” You scrunch your nose in disgust.

“Not much else over there.” Dean chuckles against your neck.

“Claire should have stayed out here, your PDA would make her sick and she’d be back to herself in no time.” Alex playfully jabs as she grabs all her work stuff.

“Haha.” You give her a small wave as she leaves. When the door clicks shut Dean moves you into his lap, hands caressing your legs.

“Dean…” You half heartedly push his hands away. His finger ghosts over the big bandage on the side of your leg. You helped the girls save him and Sam, managing to limp away with only a gash in your leg. 

“Missed you sweetheart.” He mumbles, bringing his lips to yours.

“Missed you too.” You mumble back. He breaks the kiss, keeping his forehead against yours.

“Too close for both of us.” He states.

“Still thinking about you eating lizards.” you poke back.

“I mean it.” He takes a deep breath in, slowly letting his heart beat slow down. “To think about what could have happened.” He wraps his arms tightly around you, burying his face into your hair.

“I would rather not think about it.” You gently rub his back. “Spend too many hours doing that already.” You look out the screen door, watching as Donna, Sam and Jody laugh about something.

“Ugh, Alex was right. You two are gross.” Claire groans from the hall.

“Glad to see it puts your usual attitude back in place.” You chuckle, unraveling from Dean to look at her. She shrugs, plopping into the recliner. “You heading out?” you tentatively ask. Her eyes are puffy, hair scraped back into a ponytail.

“Think I might hang around here for a while… for Jody. And Alex.” She flashes a small smile.

“Good.” Dean nods.

“Embrace your people while they’re here.” You smile at her. 

“No good to keep everything inside.” She nods, picking at her nails. The screen door screeches as Sam walks in, taking a seat next to you and Dean.

”Well on a completely unrelated note, I am apparently more famous than you among hunters.” you poke Dean in the chest.

Dean whips his head back so fast he hits the wall behind the couch.

“Nice.” Sam chuckles.

“How?” Dean frowns. You just laugh, shaking your head and giving him a kiss.

“I mean… you are the prettiest Winchester.” Dean chuckles.

“Dean! You can’t say that when Sam is here!” You laugh.

“Ok, you guys are the worst.” Sam shakes his head and walks back outside.

Last Chapter Next Chapter

Tag list:

@deansqtpie

@supraveng

@winchestersgirl222

@fantasy-myth1

@laycblack

@urgirlarrielle

@akshi8278

@arctusluna

@malindacath

@lyarr24

@flamencodiva

@havesaltwilltravel

@deansbbyx

[amywritesthings]

Such a kind comment, friend! Thank you for the reblog xo

SEEING YOU, SEEING ME THE COMPLETED SERIES

After handling a life-or-death favor for Tess, you're in deep shit. Until she can make things right, she suggests you lay low at her place for the week. The issue? It's also Joel Miller's place, and you're pretty sure he hates you.

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader (Joel x You) Rating: Explicit ( 18+ ) Word Count: 16K Tags: No Spoilers; Pre-TLOU, Mentions of death and violence, Age gap/difference, Slow burn, Angry!Joel, Eventual Smut, Semi-Enemies to Fuckers, Alcoholism, Mention of drug abuse, Masturbation, Manhandling, Light choking, Slight Sadism, Touch starved idiots, Guided Masturbation, Oral sex (f/m receiving), Protected p-i-v (wrap before you tap!), Dirty talk, Pet names, Open-ended epilogue Series Playlist: Found on Spotify

CHAPTERS

01. THERE, EVERYWHERE

02. BREAK IT TO ME GENTLY

03. THEY ARE TWO ALONE

04. CAN'T QUIT YOU, BABY

05. IN THE AIR TONIGHT

06. REACH OUT, TOUCH FAITH

EPILOGUE

ADDITIONAL STORIES

reckless. (a future one-shot.)

                                        ( Visit the AO3 story. )

[multifan2022]

Used to be yours part 3 Ideas

Hi babes, i know its been a long long long time. and I still have a lot of you hooked with this story which i love and cant put into words how much I appreciate. that being said its been a long rough road for me since the last time i really connected to my stories and wrote again. To try and ensure that i make as many people happy as possible i would love love to hear your wants for the next chapter or chapters! What do you guys want to see happen.

Anything you guys want to see let me know and ill do my best to do right by the old me and all of you!

Also if you want taken off the taglist just let me know, i wont be offended. I dont want to blow up anyones notifications if they dont want me to be <3

@maverick-wingman @atarmychick007 @sexualparkour @halo-mystic @themusingofagothicsoul @lumpypoll @cornishkat @boringusername3 @mega-kittyglitter-1 @weasleywinchester @misslildong @jynxmirage @lilyevanswhore @azenpal @itsdesiree86 @wannabewolf   @ultimate-geek14  @iwishtoliveinafantasy @dracofxckingluciusmalfoy  @black-repunzel99 @itsdesiree86 @lilmonstrjedi @xomrsalliej4787xo @princessmiaelicia @child-of-thedevil @notjustsomeblonde @melllinaa @sopheeg @callsign-viper @rainy-day-lady @kingofsantafe01 @pariahsparadise @lillie-g98 @marland56 @i-wear-wet-socks313 @haideehaids @jstarr86 @happypopcornprincess @scenesofobx @roostersgirlfrxend @eighthwvnder @katied06811 @ariacraigggg @wildlyobserving @untoldshortsofthefandoms @maddy3984 @alldaysdreamers @janechihard @variety-fangirl 

[musings-of-a-rose]

I CAN HAND DELIVER MESSAGES TO GARRETT ON SUNDAY!!

Hey everyone! I’ll be meeting Garrett on Sunday (!!!!) and would love to take any of your messages, etc to him and hand deliver them! If you’d like to send him a message or whatever, you can pm me here or send me an ask (don’t worry - I’ll leave your Tumblr name out of it and won’t post the ask) and I’ll print them out and hand them to him. 

The deadline would be Saturday night, 4/1 by like 10pm EST (as I have to get up early the next day). 

I'm going to put my taglists for him here in case ya'll want in:

All TF Boys:

@unic0rntaking0ver17645 @ahsokathearcher @thatpinkshirt @Whovianayesha @dobbyjen @tanzthompson @goodgriefitsawildworld @triggerhappyflygirl @jaime1110  @thisisthewaytofiction @kirsteng42 @xowlan @rosechvnel @ew-erin @hungrhay @maievdenoir @starlite41 @mrsparknuts @hotchlover @wildmoonflower @1andthesame @weasleywinchester @agentminnesota187 @nembees @paintlavillered @trickstersp8 @alwaysdjarin @trinkets01 @littlenosoul @witchygagirl @dindjarinswhore @your-voice-is-mellifluous @emilianamason @monalisastwin @modernperplexity 

Benny Miller Taglist:

@rebel-fanfare @corrabell @khiraeth @itspdameronthings @whiskeymeaway92  @blueeyesatnight @fastandfeminist  @glitzalia  @igotmajordaddyissues @bport76 @pretty-girl-likes-tea  @mermaidxatxheart @skvatnavle @im-ricks-flagg @nicolethered  @fabilei @darlingchanse @pascallllllll1 @Prostitute-robot-from-the-future @daniacat @its-a-show-stoppin-number

[selfcarecap]

I do t think I’ve ever cried so much in a marvel movie 😭💜💜💜 such beautiful tribute to Chadwick and T’challa

Same 😭😭😭 cried like 7+ times but it was so nice and so well done and obv emotional (in an amazing and heartwarming way)😭❤️

[weasleywinchester]

I Can't Help Myself - Ch. 5

Leaving Just You Picture Behind

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4| Ch.6

What is this thing called free time??? I managed to write another chapter for this series! I can't believe it's almost done!! And before the show comes out this month!! We get a little time jumpy in this chapter, mainly because I am following the timeline of the games. We also go from super cute parent/ellie vibes to sad vibes. mainly because I don't want to write the sad ending, but the little thing in my brain says I should... so I'm going to write sad ending and happy ending because this is my fic and yall are going to have to choose what ending you want to read, of course you can always read both. Thank you to everyone who's given this series a read, I love seeing you make your way through each chapter! And still taggin @sarahbellesaurus because you liked part 4 so here's part 5!

Series Summary:

This world isn’t kind to anyone; and heaven forbid anyone wants a slice of happiness. You wanted the stereotypical, as most people would tell you, dream of falling in love, getting married and having kids. After coming to Jackson, you kept that dream to yourself. Until your stupid best friend’s stupidly handsome older brother waltzes in, and you tell him. Joel thinks it's nice that you can hold onto a dream like that... and he let's his guard down just long enough to think maybe...he might want that too.

Chapter Summary: Thankful, Grateful, Blessed. In the world before it almost felt like those words haunted you; from stores to friends houses to birthday gifts. And then once the infection hit, it felt like the mocked you as you scavenged through houses, trying to survive. But maybe now, the could be some of the few words to describe your life. Warnings: All the feels, TLOU Pt. 2 spoilers, fighting (vocal and physical), illusions to death

A Year Later

“Momma!” Ellie shouts as she lets herself into the house.

“Upstairs!” You shout back. You can hear her take the steps two at a time, slowing as she reaches the doorway to your office.

“What’s shakin’ sugarpie?” You look up from the quilt you’re making, giving her a little smile.

“Where’s Billy?” She nods to the empty playpen next to your desk.

“He’s with Joel and Tommy.” You chuckle, kicking a pile of fabric off a stool so she can sit down.

“Bit young for a boys day out.” She softly chuckles.

“Never too early to get them out of my hair. But what did you want to ask me?” Your sewing machine softly whirs as you continue your project.

“I was talkin with Cat… about getting a tattoo.” She shrugs. Lots of people in town had them, and Cat was a pretty amazing tattoo artist. She learned from her uncle, who was an artist before the infection.

“Over the acid burn?” You nod. It was something you both had talked about. Ellie found it absolutely hilarious that you had a tiny knife tattoo on your middle finger, and ever since she saw it she wanted a tattoo.

“Ya… I was hoping you’d help me design one.” Your machine stops and Ellie looks up to see your look of surprise.

“Really?” You ask, the corners of your mouth gently tugging into a smile.

“Ya. You’re an amazing artist, with some of the best designs. And I want it to be a reminder.” She swallows hard, eyes focusing on the floor.

“Reminder of…” you prod.

“Of my family.” She shrugs again.

“I love that.” You smile, quickly packing up everything on your desk so you have space to work. You tell Ellie to throw a record on, while you pull out all your art books. You both flip through pictures, tabbing things that catch your eye.

“You still have your wedding dress?” Ellie asks as she flips through an old catalog. 

“Ya, in the closet. Why?”

“It had a fern design didn’t it?” She looks over to you, a smile slowly appearing. You quickly dig it out, putting it on the table. Both of you draw a few variations and compare.

“Think this one.” She points to one of hers. The fern is fully inked in, many tiny leaves on each stem.

“Ok, one piece down.” You sloppily recreate it on your own sketchbook, doodling around it.

“So you have a piece of me… maybe a piece of the mom you never got to meet?” You ask gently. Ellie nods slowly, trying to rack her brain for something.

“What about something like this?” You turn your book to her. You’ve drawn a different type of fern, but this one is just a simple outline. “Mine’s filled in, because we’ve gotten to live a life together, we’ve filled in a lot of gaps. Hers is an outline, a life lived before and for you, but not with you.”

Ellie gently reaches for your book, fingers gently tracing the outline. She hardly thought about her birth mom lately, only turning to her journal in empty nights alone.

“Do you ever think about her?” Ellie asks.

“I do.” Ellie’s eyes flick to your face. “I only know what you’ve shared. But somewhere deep in my bones I can feel her; mainly guiding me through your temper. I hope wherever she is, she’s content with how Joel and I have tried to take care of you.”

Ellie soaks in your words. She thought about what her mom might say to Joel, how she would thank him for keeping her safe. Or maybe how she’d lay into him for stopping the fireflies. But she hadn’t thought what would happen if she met you. A stranger that was the only one who ever felt like home.

“She’d be thankful, for everything. Much like I am.” Ellie pats your hand.

“Thanks Sugarpie.” You lay your hand on top, taking a deep breath in. “Feel like you need one more piece.”

“I already know what it is.” She sighs.

_______

“How’s your ink?” Joel chuckles. The dirt crutches beneath his feet as he guides you along the patrol route.

“Healin’ nicely.” You pull him down to you, kissing him on the cheek. He gently takes your arm, turning it to reveal your tattoos.

“Can’t believe my own son stole my nickname.” He playfully grumbles as his fingers gently caress the little bumble bee that sits on top of a lavender flower.

“Who else could ever be worthy?” You giggle.

“I guess that’s true.” He gives you a kiss, letting his lips linger for just a second more. It’s the moments like these that he remembers best. The way you smile at him, how you dance in the sunlight, the way the breeze carries you laugh.

“Have you seen Ellie’s?” You quietly ask, threading your fingers through his.

“Much bigger than both of yours.” He nods. It wasn’t much of a shock that she got one, she always liked the one on your finger. He was a little surprised it wasn’t anything Savage Starlight related though.

“We designed it together.” You tell him, “You like the moth?”

“Reminds me of the one on my guitar.” He flashes a smile, pulling your hand up to his lips and kissing the tips of your fingers.

“‘Cause it is.” You whisper. His eyes narrow at you, not sure what you’re playing at. “All I’m sayin’ is don’t stop trying. She’s comin around. There’s too much between you to let that all go forever.” You press your lips to his, smiling when he pulls you close.

"And you didn't want a matchin' one?" He chuckles.

"And miss the opportunity to permanently adorn my skin with a Joel Miller original weapon design?" You laugh, flashing the little pipe with scissors taped to the top.

"Only you Darlin'." He shakes his head, grabbing you and smothering you in a kiss.

_______ 

A Year Later

“(Y/N), your terror is pullin’ on the lights again!” Tommy shouts from the top of his ladder.

“Mmm, can’t help it if Billy loves his uncle!” You shout from behind the bar. You look around at the team putting together the dance hall. It looks so magical with all the lights strung everywhere, the warm glow of the fire.

“Come here munchkin.” Ellie sighs, picking him up as he giggles in excitement. He wraps his little arms around her, trying to grab her hair that’s been scraped into a ponytail. She moves it out of the way, giving him a silent no.

"Pie!" He giggles as her fingers tickle his sides.

"Got you booger." She chuckles as he giggles louder.

“We gunna see you at the dance tonight?” You ask, leaning around her to smile at Billy. He gives you a toothy grin, tucking his head into his sister's neck.

“Uh… maybe” Ellie shrugs. Things have been a little less tense with Joel, she’s managed to keep herself in line for the sake of you and Billy;  but she still tries to keep her distance. “Who’s babysittin?”

“Molly next door. She said she wants practice.” You chuckle as Billy reaches for you. You take him from her, bouncing him as you hand Tommy the rest of the lights.

“I heard Dina is newly single.” You say low enough for only her to hear. She hums in acknowledgment, which makes you smile. They were always friends but Ellie started lookin at her a bit differently after Dina started hopping from boyfriend to boyfriend, and yet always ended up stumbling to Ellie’s every time she broke up with them.

“Remember what I told you the night Joel proposed?”

“That you love us?” She smartly remarks. You shake your head and lean over to her.

“That you have to dance with the people you love at least once.” You wink.

_______

“I don’t need your help Joel!” Ellie yells. You quickly make your way around the bar, closing the space between you and him but he quickly turns and brushes past you.

“Joel!” You call after him, your body following but your eyes glued on Ellie. You give her an apologetic look, running after your husband. As you stumble outside you see Joel making his way toward home, but Maria is standin' across the street with-

“Seth!” You yell, calmly walking over to him.

“You gunna claim her as yours you need to get her-” He spits as you slam your shin right into his crotch before he can finish.

“(Y/N)!” Maria warns. You ignore her, throwing a jab to his eye and the heel of your hand up his nose. The force is enough to knock him flat on his ass, the snow around dotted with red.

“Stay away from my daughter you jackass!” You scream, kicking him for good measure and running off to find your husband.

“Joel!” You shout after him, jogging as fast as you can to catch him.

“She’s made it clear she doesn’t want anything to do with me.” He yells over his shoulder.

“That’s not true…”

“Then what the hell was that in there?” He whips around so fast you startle, tripping over your own feet and landing flat on your ass.

“Ow.” You wince.

“Sorry Darlin.” Joel sighs, helping you to your feet. He helps brush the snow off you, grunting as you wrap yourself around him. You put your chin on his chest and wait until he looks down at you.

“She’s trying to figure out where she fits in Honeybunch. And it constantly feels like it’s not here.” Joel pulls your hood up, tightening the cords as he mulls over your words. “She came to the dance…”

“Not for us.”

“No teenager goes to a community function for family. Does that matter anyways? Not everyone can be as… lucky as us. She’s gotta find her way, in her own time.” You pucker your lips at him, which makes him roll his eyes as he gives you a kiss.

“How do you do that?” He mumbles against your mouth.

“What?” You smile against his.

“Get my head out of my ass.” He presses another kiss to your lips, his tongue gently sliding along the seam of yours, both of you humming happily as your tongues tangle.

 “I was coming to see if y’all were ok, and clearly you are.” Tommy chuckles. You begrudgingly unseal your mouth from Joel, shooting Tommy a glare.

“Momma!” Billy lurches in Tommy’s arms for you.

“Come here honey bee.” You take Billy, laughing as he burrows his face in your neck.

“I’ll meet you back at the house.” You tell Joel, tilting your head for his kiss goodbye.

“Want me to take Billy?” He gives you a quick peck, gently rustling Billy's hair.

“Nah, we’re gunna go see Sugarpie.” You tell Billy, who gives a small yea in response. Joel gives you a curt nod, walking back inside with Tommy. You watch for a minute and then quickly make the trek home.

You knock on Ellie’s door, happy when she lets you in.

“I have an early patrol.” She states.

“And I have half a mind to smack you.” You cheerfully tell her as you set Billy on her bed.

“I don’t need his help.” She huffs, sitting at her desk.

“I know, and it doesn’t matter.” You sit on the crate across from her. “Ellie, he’s your dad for all intents and purposes. He’s always going to want to help you, protect you, be there for you. None of that stops simply because you want it to.” You watch as she picks at a loose thread on her pants.

“Sugar, we don’t know when our last days are. Don’t let the last words you say to people you love be ones you regret.” You gently put your hand on her arm. Her green eyes turn to you, knowing that, like usual, you’re right.

_______

The Next Morning

“Hey, I gotta stop at the house.” Ellie tells Dina as they make their way to the stables.

“Ya, sure.” Dina shrugs following after her. Ellie slowly makes her way up the porch, letting herself in.

“Pie!” Billy yells in delight from the living room.

“Hey B.” She gives him a kiss as you come around the corner.

“His shift already started.”

“You responsible for the black eye?” Ellie questions. Maria made Seth apologize to her this morning, not that it did anything to make her feel better. It did warm Ellie's heart to see Seth's big black eye. Maria wouldn’t say who did it, which meant it wasn't Tommy or Joel. And of course Seth would have told everyone if it was Joel, and he would never admit if you were the one to beat him up.

“That all he walked away with?” You frown, trying your best to keep your smile at bay. Ellie rolls her eyes, wrapping you in a hug.

“Think your route crosses path with his, maybe say hello…” You give her one last squeeze before letting her go.

“You mean sorry.”

“Smarter then you look sugarpie.” You pat her shoulder and spin her toward the door. “Make sure to stay warm, keep your eyes peeled.”

“Do you think he would... want to watch a movie tonight?” Ellie quietly asks, opening the door and giving you one last hug.

“I think he’d love that.” You smile, waving to Dina, who flashes a smile. Ellie quickly walks down the stairs, turning to give you one last wave.

“Watch her Dina!” You yell. You assume Ellie rolled her eyes by the way Dina laughs.

_______

“(Y/N)!”

You turn to see Jeremy running toward you, a look of worry on his face.

“Jer, what’s wrong?” You catch him as he slows to a stop.

“Jesse radioed in, Joel and Tommy never checked in. And there were strangers spotted not too far out of town.”

“Ellie?”

“Jesse went to find her and Dina. They’re going to cover the route, figured you’d want to be on the scout team too.”

You can feel the panic rise in your chest; you take Jeremy by the hand and run into the barn.

“Woah there-” Maria chuckles.

“Can you watch Billy?” You ask, trying your best to saddle your horse.

“(Y/N)... what’s wrong?”

“Can you watch Billy?” You ask louder.

“Ya sure.” She nods, backing up as you mount your horse and take off on the trail. You ride hard to the ridge that surrounds the mountain lodge; it was a place that Joel and Tommy frequented when they wanted to play their instruments in peace. You’re not sure why they would end up there in this bad weather, but something was telling you to start there. As you reach the ridge you leave your horse in a nearby stable.

Jeremy managed to keep up, quietly following you as you scuttle toward the edge. You belly crawl the rest of the way, using the scope of your gun to see down below.

“Anything?” Jeremy whispers.

“Two of our horses, lots of people outside. Burned infected at the gate” You whisper back.

“Clear up here.” He confirms. You can feel him sit by your feet, his back to you so he can keep watch.

You try to calm your breathing, watching as the people outside patrol the lodge. Your scope moves to the large windows at the front, and you can see him. You watch as a girl not much older than Ellie shoots Joel in the leg. You jerk, feeling Jeremy keep you in place.

“What’s happening?” He harshly whispers.

“Joel’s been shot.” You push past your teeth. You watch, seeing the flash of something silver come in contact with Joel’s face. That’s when you see her. Her little brown pony tail poking out of her hood. Ellie, get out of there.

“Be ready.” you whisper, taking a deep breath in and cocking your gun. You hear Jeremy do the same. The girl winds up once more and you pull the trigger. The shot rings out, scaring the horses below and sending the guards scrambling. You manage to shoot several of them, the pure white snow now a river of red.

You turn back to the lodge window, seeing two people dragging the girl, one dragging Ellie and two more dragging Joel. You let two more shots fly; one hits one of the people dragging Joel and the other gets the person dragging Ellie right in the neck.

“Jeremy?” you whisper, panic rising in your throat.

“Clear.” He whispers back.

You let a few more shots fly until the group drops Joel and Ellie, fleeing into their vehicles. You scramble back from the hillside and dig out your radio.

“Heather, do you copy?”

“Copy.”

“Lodge trail. Light it up NOW.” You yell. Jeremy peels you away, leading you back to the horses. You can hear gunshots in the distance, hoping that it did some damage. You quickly ride down to the lodge, staying close to Jeremy as you both make it inside. He does a quick sweep, coming for you when it’s clear.

You hear her before you see them, her sobs bouncing off the walls and deep into your skull.

“Ellie.” You engulf her in your arms, blood smearing across your jacket as you try to calm her.

“Back-up is on the way.” Jeremy whispers, keeping his eyes on the windows.

“Move her into the next room, away from the windows.” You command, pushing Ellie into Jeremy’s arms. Her scream is like a baby being ripped away from their parents, you can feel it vibrate your bones. Calm, stay calm. You take a deep breath and turn to Joel. He’s bloody, his shallowing breathing matching the pace of your heart.

“(Y/N)?”

You turn to see Tommy slumped against the wall.

“We got people on the way.” you nod.

_______

“Ellie?”

You startle at the unexpected voice, moving to your hiding spot along the wall.

“Shit.” You hear two sets of feet scramble, immediately going to Joel.

“Dina? Jesse?” You stand up, your brain not quite believing your eyes.

“(Y/N), what the fuck happened?” Jesse asks, arms reaching for you.

“Ellie’s in the next room, grab her and get back to Jackson. She’s a little roughed up but she’ll make it.” You rub his arms, like a mom warming up her kid from the cold.

“Joel…” Dina asks.

“Can’t do anything until the cavalry is here." You glance at him, "Please, take Ellie and ride as fast as you can.” You swallow both of them in a hug. You take a deep shaky breath, gasping to keep the sob inside.

“I’ll stay.” Jesse whispers. “Dina can take Ellie.” 

“No! No.” You take both of them and lead them to the next room. “You have to watch each other, we don’t know if anyone is hanging around.” You gently shake Ellie, helping her stand and handing her off to Dina.

“We’ll make sure to put the whole town on alert.” Dina nods, helping Ellie out of the lodge. Jesse gives you one last hug, handing you his snacks and jogging after his friends.

_______

The mumbling. You’ve always hated when people talked in hushed tones, as if you didn’t know what they were talking about, or who. It didn’t help that the storm outside had settled, leaving the trees to groan in the silence, the snow to snapping the weakest limbs.

“(Y/N).” Jeremy’s voice is gentle, his hand resting on your shoulder. Your voice is lost in your throat; so you simply turn your head toward him.

“We have to move him.”

Your eyes turn back to Joel, his lungs wheezing with every breath. Silent tears blur your vision, a fat drop falling on Joel’s sleeve as you nod. 

Jeremy helps you to stand, making a note that you’ll need a set of new clothes before you go back to town. You’d scare the shit out of everyone with how much blood you have down the front of you. A few people come in with a stretcher, staring at the state Joel is in.

“Be careful.” Jeremy tells them, snapping everyone out of their daze. The four of you move Joel, trying your best to be quick and gentle.

“Blankets.” You mumble, gathering the few that were found in the cupboards and wrapping Joel. The two gently lift the stretcher and take him outside where the covered wagon is waiting.

“Ready?” Jeremy asks.

“Be right up.” You swallow hard. You listen as his footsteps fade down the hall, the door quietly closing. You look up to see the golf clubs still sitting in their bag. You walk over, taking out the one with the biggest head. You twirl it around, feel the weight of it in your hands, and start swinging.

[multifan2022]

Used to be yours

To everyone asking! Yes there will be a part 2! Its already partially written but i would love to hear about anything you guys want to see happen! 

@maverick-wingman @atarmychick007 @sexualparkour @halo-mystic @themusingofagothicsoul @lumpypoll @cornishkat @boringusername3 @mega-kittyglitter-1 @weasleywinchester @misslildong @jynxmirage @lilyevanswhore @azenpal @itsdesiree86 @wannabewolf   @ultimate-geek14  @iwishtoliveinafantasy @dracofxckingluciusmalfoy  @black-repunzel99

 to anyone i missed! let me know if you want to be tagged <3

[musings-of-a-rose]

To everyone on my TF Boy taglist, I cannot for the life of me get everyone's tags to work. I have tried everything I know how to do and Tumblr refuses to let me tag you:

@unic0rntaking0ver17645 @ahsokathearcher @thatpinkshirt @Whovianayesha @dobbyjen @tanzthompson @goodgriefitsawildworld @triggerhappyflygirl @jaime1110 @thisisthewaytofiction @kirsteng42 @xowlan @rosechvnel @ew-erin @hungrhay @maievdenoir @starlite41 @mrsparknuts @hotchlover-blog @wildmoonflower @1andthesame @weasleywinchester @agentminnesota187 @nembees @paintlavillered @trickstersp8 @alwaysdjarin @trinkets01 @littlenosoul @witchygagirl @dindjarinswhore @your-voice-is-mellifluous @emilianamason @monalisastwin @modernperplexity @midnightswithdearkatytspb @bitchwitch1981 @mrscadilllac @casa-boiardi @cakipy-blog @simping-soldat @mrsvedder12 @marantha @Darkheartgatita @survivingandenduring @readiskeepingmegoing @CasualFancyDonut @lulawantmula @inept-the-magnificent @myconglomerateromance @swiss-mrs @iamchallengerred @darkgoddes187

[katareyoudrilling]

The Sweepstakes: Dave York (Porn Star AU)

Taglist:

@lovesbiggerthanpride @kirsteng42 @pedrohoe04 @greeneyedblondie44 @pagannightwitch @kaitieskidmore1 @alexxavicry @mandoblowmybackout @mswarriorbabe80 @nothoughtsjustmeds @loonymagizoologist @aynsleywalker @maievdenoir @ruhro7 @amneris21 @davnittbraes @theravenreads @bravopeach  @bport76 @eppy816 @harriedandharassed @thirddeadlysin @chloepluto1306 @raspberrymama @avengersfan25 @weasleywinchester @motheroftorches @thevoiceinyourheadx @starfleetteddybear @bitchwitch1981 @its-nebuleuse @veryprairieberry @littlemisspascal @whataperfectwasteoftime @just-here-for-the-moment @deadhumourist @pedrostories @neddrollsdice @thirsty-flygirl @yespolkadotkitty @wheresarizona @mandobi @mymommmy @drillingkat

The Sweepstakes: Dave York (Porn Star AU)

Pairing: Porn Star Dave York x Female Reader

Summary: You’ve never been able to explore your kinks with a partner.  Could a night with a porn star give you that opportunity?

Word count: ~2.6k

Rating: Explicit (18+ only. NO MINORS)

Content Warnings: kink negotiation, some choking and breath play, unprotected PiV (paperwork is involved), oral sex (m and f receiving), multiple orgasms

A/N: This is rougher sex than I have written before, and I definitely got in my head about it.  Please heed the warnings, but also know that it’s still me writing it, no matter how much Dave York tried to say otherwise.  The company mentioned is heavily inspired by Bellesa.  Bonus points to anyone who can guess which performer in particular inspired this one.  Enjoy!

Comments and reblogs are always greatly appreciated!

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Taglist – link in my bio and on my Masterlist

You can’t believe you’re standing in the room you’ve seen so many times on your laptop and phone.  White walls, hardwood floor, gauzy white curtains, and most importantly… the bed.

You take a deep, calming breath and wipe your damp palms down your leggings as pace around the room waiting for him to arrive.

It all started when you saw an ad for “The Sweepstakes” advertised on your favorite porn site.  It said, “Enter for a chance to win a night with your favorite porn star!”  You filled out the form before you could even stop to think about it.

You won and now you wait anxiously for your choice to arrive – Dave York.

You love Dave’s videos.  He can go from laughing and flirting to intense and demanding in the blink of an eye. It’s ridiculous how much that dichotomy turns you on.

You don’t feel turned on right now, though.  You feel very, very nervous.  You take another calming breath just as the doors open and Dave York walks in.

In his more scripted videos, he’s often cast as a businessman, wearing a suit and tie, or maybe just a dress shirt and slacks.  In the casual, unscripted ones, he wears all black.

That’s what he’s wearing today.

His black sweater strains across his broad, muscled shoulders.  Track pants hang low on his trim waist.  He’s clean shaven and his dark hair is short and neat. If it weren’t for the intensity of his gaze, he would probably just look like an average guy.

He’s anything but.

Dave extends his hand to you and introduces himself.  You manage to fight through the haze of nerves and arousal to do the same.

“Erin asked me to go over your sexual interest survey with you to make sure we’re on the same page, since your tastes run on the rough side.”  His deep, gravelly voice vibrates through your body sending jolts of need to your core.  It’s so much better in person than through a tiny phone speaker.

You met with the director, Erin, earlier in the day to sign releases and fill out paperwork related to your sexual history, health, and interests.  You even agreed to be filmed for your private use.  A chance like this doesn’t come around every day.

You nod and Dave looks down at the papers he’s holding.

“Let’s start with spanking, how hard do you like it?” he asks, warm brown eyes meeting yours.

“I… uhhh…. I don’t actually know,” you stammer.  Dave waits patiently for you to continue.  “My partners have never been willing to uhh… try things with me.”  That’s an understatement.  Not only have your partners not been willing, they have looked at you like you were crazy.  “I like watching it.  I like it when you do it,” you choke out, heat flooding your cheeks as you look anywhere but at him.

Dave sets the papers down on the bed and reaches for you, lifting your chin up so you meet his eyes.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed.”  His hypnotic, liquid chocolate gaze starts to melt the tension you’re holding in your shoulders.  “We can try these things and find out if you like them, but you have to talk to me.  If you can’t, then we can’t.  Can you do that?”

You nod.

“Say it,” he commands, but not unkindly.  Heat floods your center.

“I can do that,” you answer, a bit breathlessly.

“If you say no, or stop, or anything else to indicate something isn’t working for you, I will stop immediately.  Understood?”

“I understand.”

“Good,” he smiles and picks up the paper again.  “Let’s talk about breath play.”

A burst of adrenaline floods your body as Dave moves closer to you.  Holding your gaze, he lifts his arm and places the heal of his hand against your collarbone.  Your heart beats loudly in your ears as he gently wraps his fingers around your throat.  You can still breathe normally even as he squeezes gently.

“I will not squeeze harder than this, is this ok?”

“Yes,” you whisper.

“Good, remember at any time you can tell me to stop, and I will.  Now…” he removes his hand from your throat and brings it towards your mouth.  “I will only cover your nose and mouth for five seconds at a time, ok?”

“Ok,”

“Let’s practice.”

Staring intently into your eyes, he covers your nose and mouth and counts to five.  Your fingers and toes tingle as the adrenaline courses through your body.  Dave’s pupils dilate as he watches your reaction.

Five seconds isn’t very long at all, but you gulp in air when he removes his hand.  The rush goes straight to your head and you sway towards him.  Large hands steady your shoulders.

“How was that? Are you ok?” he asks, his voice husky with his own arousal.

“That was… very good,” you reply shakily.  Your pussy is already throbbing, and you’ve barely begun.

“Good,” Dave murmurs.  He’s still so close.  You can feel the warmth radiating off his body, he squeezes your arms before letting his hands drop.  “Is there anything else you want?”

“I want…” you take a shaky breath, locked into Dave’s hypnotic gaze, “to be thrown around a little.”

Dave licks his lips, “Fuck yes,” he replies, closing the distance between you.  “You want me to use you?”  His eyes are as black as his sweater as he crowds your vision.  Desire ripples off him in waves.  It hits you that he desires you and it and makes your knees weak.  You nod, hypnotized by his gaze.

“Can I kiss you?” he practically growls.

You whimper yes and melt into him as he plunges his tongue into your mouth.  He’s so intense and overwhelming.  God, you hope the cameras are already recording.

Your head swims with arousal as he explores your mouth, pulling you tighter against his broad frame. ��Your hands fist in his sweater as you fight the urge to climb up his body.

You break apart panting.  Dave steps back, his large hands helping keep you steady.

“I have to take this back to Erin,” he swallows and holds up your paperwork, now slightly crinkled from getting crushed between your bodies, “and give you a few minutes to make sure you haven’t changed your mind.”

Dave steps away from you and heads for the door.  You can’t help but notice the bulge in his pants that wasn’t there before.  You lower yourself to sit on the edge of the bed on wobbly legs.

He pauses at the door and turns back to you, “One more question.  Are you wearing underwear?”

“No,” you blurt out, surprised.  He smirks and leaves the room.

You collapse backwards onto the bed, taking in a deep lungful of air to try to calm down.  You’re embarrassingly wet between your legs.

No.

Not embarrassing, you correct yourself.

Just because your previous partners haven’t been open to trying these kinks does not make it embarrassing that you are into them.  There wouldn’t be a whole industry devoted to these things if you were the only one.  Dave certainly seems to be.

You push yourself back up to sitting.  The nerves you felt when you waited for him the first time have burned away in the wake of your arousal.  Your knee bounces impatiently as you wait for him to come back.

You pop back onto your feet when you hear the door handle begin to turn.  Dave enters the room with a question in his eye.  You nod.  There is no way you have changed your mind.

He stalks towards you like a jungle cat and pulls you into another kiss, hands cradling your face.  He’s less desperate this time, but still eager, confident, demanding.

You allow your hands to run down his sides, over the rippling muscles under his thin sweater.  You feel the divot at his hipbone, but instead of trailing down to explore the swell you feel against your abdomen, you slip your hands under his sweater and draw them up his back.

Dave chuckles and breaks the kiss, allowing you to pull his sweater off over his head.  You drag your fingers down the smooth, golden skin of his chest.  You whimper as your fingers get to the waistband of his pants.

He reclaims your mouth with a curse and turns you, so the backs of your legs knock against the side of the bed.  His large hands roam down your body and hitch under your thighs.  Before you realize what he’s doing, he lifts you up and tosses you onto the bed.

You squeal as you bounce.  But before your bottom hits the bed a second time, Dave whips your leggings down past your ass and pushes your knees into your chest.  He dives into your pussy like a man starved.

Your squeals of surprise rapidly turn into moans as his expert tongue sweeps over your throbbing cunt.  His question about underwear makes sense now.

Your hands scrabble for purchase on the bedding as Dave presses you open and feasts at your core.

All the buildup of being here, discussing your list, and finally getting to kiss and touch the subject of so many of your fantasies has you pulsing against his mouth in no time.

Dave pulls back from you to stand by the bed with a satisfied smirk on his face, pulling your leggings the rest of the way off and tossing them on the floor.

As your orgasm fades, leaving you boneless on the bed, you can’t help the huge smile that spreads across your face, or the laugh that escapes your chest.

“What’s so funny,” Dave watches you from beside the bed, eyes twinkling.

“You just… just…. that was so good and I’m just so glad I’m here,” you smile up at him.  You’re no longer nervous.  You’re excited to be here and experience all of this with him.

“I’m glad you’re here too.”  Dave begins to pull down his track pants and you scramble up and over to him to kneel eagerly at the side of the bed.  Now it’s Dave’s turn to laugh.  “Do you want something, beautiful?”

You preen internally at the nickname and don’t even bother to hide your enthusiasm.

“I want to suck your cock.”

“Look who has things to say now.  I think that orgasm loosened your tongue,” he teases you gently, his eyes flashing with humor and want as he frees the cock you’ve been dreaming about.

He’s so perfect.

You lick your lips and pull your top over your head before lining up to take him in your mouth.  Dave hisses as you draw him in.  He strokes your cheek and neck as he watches you.

With every flick of your tongue the ache between your legs builds, until you’re moaning around him with every stroke.

You pop off to catch your breath and Dave eagerly claims your mouth.  He climbs on the bed, pushing you onto your back and crowding your vision, never taking his mouth of you.  He kisses down your neck and nips at your shoulders and breasts as he lines up at your entrance.

“You ready for this cock, beautiful?”

You nod and pull him towards you with your heels.

“So eager for it,” Dave growls as he presses into your wet heat.

Your eyes roll back in your head as he fills you so perfectly.  He plies you with long, firm strokes, pressing you deeper into the mattress, covering your body with his.

He’s all you can see and feel and you melt beneath him, giving yourself over to the force of him.  Your orgasm begins to build in the distance, but before it can take hold, Dave rolls the two of you so that you’re now on top.

His hands stroke up your torso, cupping your breasts and tweaking your nipples as you adjust to the new angle.

Dave pistons up into you, his abdominal muscles tensing with the effort.  His strong hands hold your hips firmly against him.  A boldness you’ve never felt before washes over you as you grasp one of his hands and bring it to your throat.

He places his hand exactly as he said he would, at the base of your throat.  You lean into him, knowing you are in control and could lean back at any time, but the theoretical danger of it sizzles under your skin.  His strong fingers squeeze slightly sending dizzying waves of pleasure through your body.

You stare into his eyes, never breaking contact, as he brings you to the brink.  Your clit throbs, seeking the friction of his body, you’re so close to breaking when he pulls out and flips you over onto your stomach.

He drags your hips in the air and presses your shoulders down onto the bed as he drives into you and smacks your ass.  Your pussy clenches in response.

“You like that don’t you?”

“Yes, oh my god yes,” you babble incoherently.

“I feel that tight pussy grabbing me.”  He smacks your ass again for emphasis and you clench around him again.

He is so deep in this position.  He thrusts into you slowly, dragging his cock against your sensitive walls, allowing the orgasm to ebb away in favor of slow sensation punctuated with the stinging of his palm.

You press your hips back into him, savoring every thrust and allowing your mind to drift.  You are not in control here.  He will move you when he’s ready, you don’t have to think, just feel.

Seemingly to prove your point, he pulls out and flips you once again.  This time onto your side before pulling you into his chest.

His strong arms band around your hips and shoulders as he enters your slippery cunt from behind.  You are at his mercy and nothing has ever made you feel more alive.

He nibbles at your ear as he spews praise and filth under his breath – how good you feel, how wet you are, how he’s going to make you come so hard.

You don’t doubt his promises and when his hand comes up to cover your mouth, all you can do is take and take and take his cock.

You are only need and sensation, unable to move other than how he moves you.  Everything else falls away except the white hot pleasure taking over your body.  He has edged you over and over and you half expect him to do it again, but this time your climax is barreling towards you at full force.

“Give it to me,” Dave demands in your ear, and you launch off a cliff.

He removes his hand and you gasp for air, sparks clouding your vision.  He doesn’t let up as you pulse and scream around him.  He presses on your mound, intensifying the waves of pleasure wracking through your body.

He stutters and moans raggedly behind you, emptying himself into your fluttering pussy.

You sag against him, spent and floating.  He presses kisses between your shoulder blades and up your neck as he helps disentangle your bodies.

You catch your breath, staring at the ceiling above you and then over at the glistening man next to you.

“That was…. amazing.”  A whole new world has been opened to you, and you definitely like it.  “Thank you.”

Dave props himself up on his elbow and looks down at you, angular jaw and aquiline nose catching the light of the fading sunset.

“That was just round one, beautiful.  You have me all night.”  He winks before kissing you once again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Taglist- in reblog

[percywinchester27]

Hey! I just finished reading Stroke of Luck and I absolutely love it! I can't wait to read all of your other stories! I'm new and I was wondering if you could suggest some blogs for me to follow:)

Really? Thank you so much! I hope you keep liking the other stories too! :) You are very sweet!

About blogs to follow... Writing blogs off the top of my head-

@sdavid09 @grace-for-sale @kas-not-cas @supernatural-jackles@thing-you-do-with-that-thing @blacktithe7 @torn-and-frayed @bringmesomepie56  @mrs-squirrel-chester @mrswhozeewhatsis @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @deanssweetheart23 @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @ilostmyshoe-79 @nichelle-my-belle @tankcupcakes @mysupernaturalfics @melonshino @jotink78 @littlegreenplasticsoldier @imagineteamfreewill @iwantthedean @ravengirl94@thegreatficmaster @plaidstiel-wormstache @kittenofdoomage @winchesterprincessbride @trexrambling (I’m sure I’m forgetting someone very important here...)

[quiddy-writes]

Can I please be added to your Supernatural tag list ?

Of course you can! Just be aware that my “Supernatural tag list” is basically just my Sam and Dean lists. 

[ravengirl94]

I don't remember if I've asked or not but can I please be added to your taglist? Absolutely love your writing!

I don’t currently have you on any lists, but I’d be happy to add you to one! Just let me know which one :) The current lists and rules can be seen HERE

[wheresarizona-writes]

Taglist Reblog:

@pinebeam @spacenerdpascal @padbrookcottage @trickstersp8 @that-friend-in-the-corner @beskarprincessjenny @manuymesut @alexxavicry @trinkets01 @boiistfu @booklover2sblog @xoxabs88xox @mrsparknuts @totallynotastanacc @nik2blog @amneris211 @tusk89 @leed-bbg @laureliciousdefinitio @saintbedelia @bbyanarchist @spettrocol @aynsleywalker @amneris21 @alwaysdjarin @lex1903 @zetasaturno99 @mishasminion360 @bluestuesday @joelmillerlvr @star-wars-fan-2005 @aerangi @avengersfan25 @jaime1110 @princessnnylzays @darknessbyme @iceclaw101 @alwaysdjarin @downbads-world @therealcap @voteforpedro09 @love-the-abyss @hawsx3 @fettuccin-e @xocalliexo @chaoticevilbakugo @weasleywinchester

but he’s the one I want

summary: All you needed was to see if your dad’s friend, Joel, had a spare key to your father’s house. Instead, you get railed within an inch of your life on Joel’s couch. 

His brown eyes squeeze shut. “Lord help me,” he says under his breath. A second passes, and then he’s looking at you. “Fuck it—I’m already goin’ to hell.” Joel’s large palms grab your face, pulling you in to crush his lips against yours, muffling your surprised sound. 

pairing: DBF!Pre-Outbreak!Joel Miller/College Student f!reader (no physical descriptions)

rating: E (18+!!! No y/n, DBF!Joel Miller, slightly possessive Joel Miller, pre-Outbreak, age gap, explicit consent, unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), creampie, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, dirty talk, size kink, praise kink, spit as lube, overstimulation, sex on stairs, body worship, slight body insecurity, getting caught, misunderstandings, angst with a happy ending, Die Hard is a Christmas movie debate) 

word count: 11.5k+

a/n: Alexa, play “But Daddy I Love Him” by Taylor Swift. I don’t know where this came from (daddy issues), but I hope you enjoy it! Reader is freshly 21 in my head, Joel is 35 (it’s months before his birthday), and Tommy is 29. Let me know what you think! Big shoutout to @devineconjuring for going on this journey with me and betaing!

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

Main Masterlist

Knock, knock, knock. 

It’s a Friday night; the sky is dark, but the porch light is on. You hug your jacket a little closer to your body to stave off the chill in the air as you wait outside the front door for someone to answer it. A masculine voice calls out, "Comin’!" Footsteps thud on the hardwood floor as they head your way. 

Seconds later, the door is cracked open, and you’re met with the home’s owner, Joel Miller. Just the sight of him in his jeans and navy blue t-shirt has your heart rate picking up in speed, the man looking as handsome as ever. 

His eyebrows furrow in confusion when he sees you. 

"Hey," he greets. "What are you doin' here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

University of Houston—go, Cougars!

You smile. "Three-day weekend—I have Monday off. I thought I'd surprise my dad since it's his birthday." 

The confused look doesn’t disappear. "I coulda sworn he told me they were goin' to Vegas to celebrate a few days ago." ‘They’ being your father, stepmother, and your teenage half-brother.

“Well, I guess it slipped his mind to tell me they were going out of town. He must be getting forgetful in his old age.” 

The relationship you have with your father is… complicated. It’s not bad by any means—you get along and love each other. He just wasn’t very present when you were growing up—he lived in Austin while you were with your mom in Houston, only seeing him a few times per year. Now that you have a car and your mom moved out of state last year with her new husband, you occasionally made the three-hour drive to your dad’s to visit and do your laundry free of charge. It was also where you now stayed on your breaks from school.

Joel opens the door a little wider and crosses his arms over his chest, your eyes moving from his face to admire the broadness in his shoulders and the muscles in his forearms. Having his full attention on you makes the nerves in your belly flutter around like a bunch of butterflies were let loose. 

“He’s not much older than me,” Joel says. His eyebrow lifts. “Are you callin’ me old?” 

The man in question happens to be one of your father’s best friends—or so you’ve been told. In all of the visits to your dad’s growing up, you could count the number of times you saw Joel on one hand. Over the past year that you’ve been coming to Austin regularly, you’ve had much more interaction with him, which has led to you developing a little bit of a crush. Who can blame you, though? He’s gorgeous—the chocolate-colored eyes, the hair that looks so soft, that perfect nose, and those kissable lips. 

“If the shoe fits,” you reply with a shrug and a smile. 

“Kids these days,” Joel grumbles under his breath, shaking his head. “Did you come by just to call me old?” he asks. 

“Oh, no. I was expecting at least one person to be at my dad’s, so I didn’t bother bringing my house key. I’m here to see if you possibly have a spare I could borrow—I would’ve called, but I don’t have your number.” 

Maybe he’d give it to you now…

“I’m sorry, darlin’, I don’t.” 

Hot and a sweetheart—how is he single? Is he single?

You frown, feeling annoyed that you drove all this way to Austin for no reason. You should’ve called ahead, but that was your mistake, assuming your family would stay in town for your father’s birthday. “This was a waste of gas,” you muse. “Love that for me. Well, it looks like I’m heading home, or maybe I’ll get a cheap motel room. Thanks anyway, Joel. Have a nice rest of your night!” You do a little wave at him. 

You start to turn, but stop when he says, “Wait,” and you face him again. He opens the door wider. “It’s too late for you to be drivin’ all that way, and there’s no reason you should pay for a motel when I’ve got a guest room you can stay in. You can get a good night's sleep and leave tomorrow mornin’ when the sun’s shinin’.” 

Again, a sweetheart—why hasn’t anyone snatched him up? Or have they?

“Are you sure?” you ask. 

He finally offers you a friendly smile and moves to open the door all the way. “Yeah, it’s no problem. I was feelin’ lonely anyway with Sarah gone at a sleepover. It’ll be nice to have some company that isn’t my brother.” 

Lonely? Nice to have some company? That sounds pretty single to you. Your night just got a lot more interesting. “Thank you so much! I’ll do my best to be better company than your brother.” 

With that, you make your way inside, toeing off your shoes next to a pair of his work boots.

“That won’t be too hard,” Joel says as he shuts the door. 

You stop in the entryway because you’re not quite sure where you should be going since you've never actually been inside his house. You only know where he lives because your father once asked you to drop something off here. 

“Let me get your coat and bag.” You hand him your small purse, and he moves behind you, helping as you shrug off the long jacket you’re wearing, which he hangs up on a nearby coat hook with your bag. “Oh.” He stops in his tracks, and you look at him, seeing his widened eyes staring at your body. “Were you plannin’ on goin’ out tonight?” 

You glance down at your outfit, and you can understand why he’d make that assumption at the sight of the cute little black dress you’re wearing—it only reaches mid-thigh and has a V-neckline to show off your breasts.

“Not going out—it’s laundry day. I do my laundry when I come to Austin, and this was literally the last clean thing I had.” Your eyes lift to see his glued to your chest, and you think that’s an interesting development. “I have spare clothes I keep at my dad’s that I planned on changing into.” 

It’s the truth, and you’re a little thankful this was your last clean outfit. You can only imagine how embarrassing it would’ve been coming over here in a ratty old T-shirt, granny panties, and your Spongebob Squarepants pajama pants. 

He clears his throat and looks away. A rosy blush appears on his cheeks as he scratches at the back of his neck. “I can put my jacket back on,” you tell him, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable.

“No, no.” He meets your gaze, offering a reassuring smile. “It’s fine—do you need to use my washer and dryer?” 

“You’re already being nice, letting me stay over. I can wash my clothes at the laundromat when I get home.” 

“It’s really no big deal.” 

“Thank you, but I’m good.” 

“Okay.” His hands go in his pockets, and he seems to get very interested in the short console table against the wall, staring at the contents lying atop it—a stack of unopened mail and what you assume are his keys and wallet.  

“So, what were you doing before I interrupted your evening?” 

“Oh—” He looks at you again. “—I was watchin’ a movie. Would you like to join me?” 

You smile. “Sure—lead the way.” 

He takes you to the living room, where a movie is paused on the television, and lets you know you can sit anywhere. Your choices are one of two armchairs and a maroon leather sofa, and you choose the sofa while he heads for the kitchen. 

“Would ya like a beer?” he calls out on his way to the other room. He doesn’t give you a chance to respond because a second later, he’s back at the doorway to the living room with a confused expression again. “Wait, are you old enough to drink…?” 

The question makes you smile. “Yes, Joel. I’m old enough to drink.” 

“Legally…?”

You giggle. “Yes. I can legally drink. You wanna card me?” 

“No.” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “Beer?” 

“Sounds great.” 

“Okay.” He nods. 

As you sit on the couch waiting, you become very aware of the situation you’re in. You’ve spoken to Joel one-on-one a handful of times over the last year, but it always happened at a barbecue or a holiday party—places where there were other people around—you’ve never been alone with Joel. This is new territory, and you’re not entirely sure what to expect, especially considering how he was staring at your chest. 

Would you fuck him if given the chance? Yes, zero hesitation. Do you think you have a chance with him? Maybe, and that thrills you. Just two things are working against you: your age and the fact he’s your father’s best friend. Those are two hurdles you’re not entirely sure how to get over, but you’re definitely game to try. 

Your conversations were always friendly in the past, and you’re proud to say you’ve made him laugh a few times. You think you could possibly charm him. What you know for sure is he’ll need to be very aware that you’re interested; otherwise, he won’t even fathom trying anything with you—thank god you’re wearing this dress. Nerves are swirling in your tummy at what could happen tonight, and you’re eager to see where things go. 

Joel returns with two open bottles of beer, handing you one, and you thank him as he takes a seat right next to you. He leans forward to grab the remote and hits play before sitting back and taking a drink. 

He’s so close to you that you get a whiff of his cologne—it has a spiciness to it and some citrusy notes that, when combined, smell amazing. It makes you think he took a shower when he got home from work today—and, suddenly remembering he’s a contractor, you imagine him shirtless and sweaty while using a hammer. The thought causes your mouth to go dry, so you lift your bottle to your lips for a sip, focusing on the TV. 

It’s easy to figure out what he’s watching when you see Josh Hartnett in clothes from the 1940s. 

“Pearl Harbor?” you ask, now holding your drink on your lap, picking at the label with your fingernail. 

“Yeah.” His head turns your way, his beer resting on his thigh. “Have you seen it?” 

Meeting his eyes, you answer, “Oh, yeah.”

He frowns. “Because it’s a girly movie?”

“Um, kinda? The guys are pretty easy on the eyes, and the story is interesting. I wouldn't say it’s super girly. Sure, it’s a romance, but there’s so much action and drama about the war in it.” 

“The back of the DVD said nothin’ about it bein’ a romance.”

“Are you enjoying it, at least?” you ask. 

He sighs and looks back at the television. “Yeah, I am.”

“Then enjoy it! If anyone asks what we watched, I’ll tell them Die Hard.” You lightly pat his thigh closest to you, feeling the muscles tense under your palm. 

His gaze returns to you. “You’ve seen Die Hard?”

“Yes. A few times.” 

Because it’s your dad’s favorite movie. 

His upper body slightly turns your way, his arm going behind you on the couch. The closeness and the attention he’s giving you make your skin heat. 

“I want you to settle somethin’ my brother Tommy and I disagree on—have you met Tommy?” 

“Once.” At a barbecue. He didn’t catch your attention like Joel did. “What am I settling?”

“Do you think Die Hard is a Christmas movie?”

“What…?”

“Tommy is fuckin’ convinced that Die Hard is a Christmas movie, and I say it’s just another action flick. A good one, but definitely not a Christmas movie.”

It takes you a second to process what he asked. 

“I mean,” you start, “it takes place on Christmas Eve, at a Christmas party, and I’d say it’s a Christmas miracle that John McClane happened to be there to save the day. So, yeah, it’s totally a Christmas movie.” 

“You’re fuckin’ with me. Just ‘cause it takes place on Christmas Eve at a Christmas party doesn’t mean it’s a Christmas movie.” 

You point the neck of your beer at him. “You forgot John McClane being a Christmas miracle. Makes sense to me that it’s a Christmas movie.” 

He takes a deep breath. “So, are you tellin’ me that—what the fuck is that movie called?” His eyes leave you as he thinks, trying to remember the name. “Lethal Weapon!” He looks at you again. “So, you’re tellin’ me that Lethal Weapon would also be a Christmas movie? Have you seen that one?” 

Yep, with your father. 

“I have, and yeah, it’s a Christmas movie. You’ve got drug dealers using a Christmas tree business as a front, Christmas is mentioned all throughout, they use a bunch of Christmas songs, and it ends at Christmas dinner. Absolutely a Christmas movie.” 

“Say you’re messin’ with me, darlin’. You know what a Christmas movie is, right? 

“Yeah, you’ve got the heavy hitters—It’s a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, A Christmas Carol—then those stop-motion ones that are delightful. I’d put Die Hard and Lethal Weapon in the same category as Home Alone.”

“Why the hell do you think Home Alone is a Christmas movie?” 

“It’s set during the holiday season, and there’s a ton of Christmas imagery and music. Plus, you’ve got Kevin going on a similar journey as the main character in It’s a Wonderful Life where, in the end, he realizes how much he loves and needs his family—sounds pretty Christmas-y to me.” 

His jaw clenches, and it’s seconds before he inhales deeply and looks back at the TV. 

“Son of a bitch,” he sighs, shaking his head. “They’re fuckin’ Christmas movies.” He takes a long drink of his beer. 

You grin. “They are indeed,” you reply and pat his thigh again. 

His bottle lowers, and he looks over at you. “Even though you somehow made a dumbass like Tommy make sense, you’re definitely better company than him. He’d never let me live this down.” 

He’s visibly relaxed, and you have, too. The fact he’s enjoying you being there has calmed your nerves, and you’re having a great time talking to him. Plus, he’s nice to look at.

“Then it’ll be our secret,” you say. “Like how we’re totally watching Die Hard right now, and not—” Your eyes go to the TV, and they widen. “—the one sex scene in Pearl Harbor.” It’s nothing too risque and honestly kind of lame. 

Joel looks, too. “They’re just rollin’ around on the ground…” 

“It’s PG-13, Joel. I don’t know what you’re expecting from a movie where they can only say fuck once, and titties are prohibited.” 

His head turns your way. “You’re somethin’ else, you know that?” he says, and when your eyes land on his, you find that he’s smiling—your heart skips a beat. 

“A good something or a bad something?” 

“A good somethin’.” 

You share his expression. “You’re something else, too.”

“A good somethin’ or a bad somethin’?”

“A very good something.”

His eyes darken, and suddenly, his attention returns to the movie. Joel clears his throat, then chugs the rest of his beer, leaning forward to set the empty bottle on the coffee table. 

When he sits back, his arm is still behind you on the top of the couch, and he scoots the tiniest bit your way to have your bodies touching. 

It’s clear that there’s a shift to the energy in the room, and the tension becomes palpable—he likes you, and you think there’s a possibility he more than likes you with how close he is. The thought has your heart pounding, and you’re unsure what to do next. You’ve only been with boys your own age, and Joel is so much older and more experienced. 

The panic has you blurting out, “Are you seeing anyone?” Then, backpedaling, “Not that it’s any of my business, so don’t feel obligated to answer.” 

He looks at you, and you keep staring at the TV, almost wishing the floor would swallow you whole. 

“Why do you wanna know?” 

“I’m nosy.” 

He huffs in amusement. “You only wanna know ‘cause you’re nosy?” 

“That’s what I said.” 

“No other reason?” 

“Can’t think of any.” 

“Okay—no, I’m not seein’ anyone. What about you? You got a boy back in Houston worryin’ about you?” 

“Nope.” 

“Really?” The genuine surprise in his voice has your head turning to see the matching expression. 

“What’s so shocking about that?”

He frowns. “I beg your pardon, darlin’. It just doesn’t make much sense that someone as pretty and fun as you doesn’t have a line of boys waitin’ their turn to take you out.” 

Those butterflies in your stomach are flapping around again. 

“Not really.” You shrug. “Plus, the guys my age usually only want sex but aren’t very, um, giving, if you know what I mean.”

Now he looks grumpy. “Selfish boys,” he grumbles, and it makes you smile. 

“So, not an issue with someone older like you. Good to know.” You squeeze his thigh and keep speaking so he can’t reply, “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you single?” 

For some reason, he can’t look at you now, focusing on your hand. He reaches across his body to grab yours with his larger one, staring at your fingers. He lets out a long, weary sigh, his thumb rubbing against each of your dark blue-painted fingernails. 

“Women don’t particularly like that Sarah is the most important person in my life and my top priority…”

“But she’s your daughter, she should be your top priority.” 

“That’s the logic, but they want me all to themselves and don’t like sharing.” 

“Joel?” 

His face lifts to meet your gaze. 

“Yeah?” 

“You’ve dated some truly shitty women.” 

He smiles. “I guess I have. It doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve given up on datin’. It’s just a waste of time.” 

“That is such a shame.” 

His dark eyes get even darker. “You’re trouble.” 

“Why am I trouble?” 

His eyebrow arches. “Your daddy would kill me.” 

Your brain short-circuits for a second as you take in the statement—he’s into you, he’s really into you. Now, what are you going to do?

“Don’t you remember, Joel?” you ask and move to put your beer on the table. When you sit back, you cuddle a little closer into his side. “You were worried about me driving home in the dark, so you offered me your guest room—we watched Die Hard, then turned in for the night. You’re a stand-up guy for keeping your friend’s daughter safe.” 

His eyes move from yours to your mouth, his hand coming up to cradle the side of your face—his palm is so big his fingertips almost reach the back of your head. He starts leaning in, your heart hammering in your chest at the thought that he’s going to kiss you, and you stop breathing when his lips are only a hair’s breadth away from yours.

And then he pauses. 

“Tell me why you really came here tonight,” he rasps. 

That confuses you, your brows pulling together, and you sit back to see his face. “I did? I needed to see if you had a spare key to my dad’s house.” 

His eyes are on yours. “Bullshit—there’s no way this just happened to be the last outfit you had.” He looks directly at your tits. 

“It is if you wait super last minute to do your laundry, and I told you, I have other clothes at my dad’s. Why do you think I came over here?” 

His gaze goes back to yours. “With that dress you’re wearin’ and how you keep lookin’ at me, for a lot more than needin’ a key.” 

“You thought I came over here to seduce you…?”

“Yeah…?”

“Wow.” You gently pat his cheek. “You think I’m way bolder than I actually am—me coming here and the outfit was not premeditated.” You shake your head. 

His eyes round, and you’d think he was burned by how quickly his hand leaves you and how he moves away a little to put space between you. “Fuck, have I been readin’ this wrong?” 

You scoot to have yourself against him again. “The assumption I came here specifically to seduce you was very wrong. But you’re right that I definitely want you to fuck me, Joel.” 

“Shit,” he breathes out and scrubs a palm over his face. “You’re gonna get me in so much trouble.” 

Turning his way, you rub your hand along his jeans-covered thigh. “No, I’m not,” you tell him. “Stop thinking, and kiss me.” 

His hand lowers. “Not thinkin’ is gonna get me killed.” 

“Not thinking is going to get you a blow job and pussy.” You press your palm between his legs over where you can feel he’s already hardening. “Hell, I’ll sweeten the deal—you can come anywhere you want.”

His eyes go wide. “Jesus Christ,” he whispers, and you smile. His reaction makes you brave. 

“Tell me you don’t want this, and we’ll go back to watching the movie and pretend nothing happened. Or—and I like this option more—you kiss me, and we’ll go as far as you’re willing to go.” Your hand moves up to hold his cheek, and it’s a good sign when he leans into your touch as you stare into his eyes. “But I’m going to make myself crystal clear, Joel. I want you—badly.  You’re beyond sexy, and the fact you’re older and have a lot more experience than me is a big turn-on. I’d love to know what good sex is like for once and maybe have you teach me some things.” You shrug your shoulder. “It’s up to you, though. Just know I’m more than willing.” 

His brown eyes squeeze shut. “Lord help me,” he says under his breath. A second passes, and then he’s looking at you. “Fuck it—I’m already goin’ to hell.” Joel’s large palms grab your face, pulling you in to crush his lips against yours, muffling your surprised sound. 

This kiss is unlike any you’ve experienced before. You’re used to overeager boys practically shoving their tongues down your throat the first chance they get, yet here’s Joel claiming your lips—you can feel his every want and his desire for you with how thoroughly he kisses you. The soft pillow of his mouth moves with yours, his scent filling your nose—hints of the beer he drank and his spicy cologne imprinting this moment in your mind. Your eyes flutter closed, and your head goes dizzy from the arousal igniting in your belly. 

Just one kiss and you know you’re ruined for anyone else. 

His arms go around you, and he mouths at your chin. “Come here,” he says against your skin. “Get in my lap.” 

You do as you’re told, bunching up the bottom of your dress at your waist and moving to straddle his thighs. His hands go under your clothes to grab your ass, and he’s so surprised to feel bare skin he leans back with the confused expression you’re becoming intimately familiar with. 

“You really didn’t come over just to fuck me?” he asks. His palms wander, and you know he’s discovered your thong when he hooks a thumb under its stretchy waistband—they were the last clean pair of underwear you had. 

“I really didn’t.” You’re curious about something. “But if I had, what are the chances that I would’ve succeeded…?” 

“With this dress and a little convincin’? Pretty good.”

You smile. “Really?” 

“Yeah. You’re so fuckin’ beautiful and smart. I know this is a bad idea, and it’ll probably bite me in the ass later, but I’m so fuckin’ lonely, and you’re just too damn temptin’ to pass up.” 

The truth is clear in his eyes and makes you kiss him—your fingers comb into the hair at the back of his head, finding it softer than you thought it’d be. It starts off slow and tender, just lips to lips, until Joel deepens it, the tip of his tongue making it past your lower lip. Hearing that he’s lonely tugs at your heart, and you want to do everything you can to make that loneliness disappear. Things start to heat up, and all you can do is follow his lead, moaning as he explores your mouth with his tongue. With his palms on your backside, he helps you rock your hips, grinding yourself against his hard cock beneath his jeans, rubbing your clit just right to fan the flames growing in your core. 

When you finally need to come up for air, his hand grips your chin to turn your head as you pant, Joel kissing and nipping at your skin from the base of your neck up—tingles wash down your spine when he nibbles on your jaw. He gently bites your earlobe, and you gasp when his hot breath tickles your ear. 

He huskily whispers into it, “You want me?” His hand fondles your breast. 

“Yes.” 

“I can touch you?” 

“Anywhere.” 

“I need you to be a good girl and tell me when you do and don’t like things—understand?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good girl,” he purrs. 

The way those two words make your cunt clench has you moaning, ”Fuck.”

He easily unzips the back of your dress, tugging the garment up and over your head, letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor. You’re sitting astride his lap, the dark pools of his eyes taking in your mostly naked body, his big hands massaging your bra-covered breasts. It’s surprising that being under his gaze, you don’t immediately feel self-conscious, and you think that has to do with how he’s looking at you—the desire and appreciation clear as he admires you.

“Can I take this off?” he asks, nodding towards what he’s touching. 

“Yes.” 

He sits up straighter, and it’s quick work for him to get your bra off, it landing on top of your dress. He’s focused on your tits, holding them in his palms, weighing them. He leans forward, sucking your nipple into his mouth, and the sudden shock of pleasure has your breath catching in your throat, your fingers grabbing handfuls of his shirt for something to hold onto. When he grazes his teeth over the stiff bud, your entire body shivers—your panties have a wet spot from your pussy leaking your arousal for him. He gives your other breast the same attention, leaving your skin shiny from spit when he comes off of it with a wet pop to look at you. 

“Lie down on the couch, baby.” He pats the empty seat next to him. “Your head all the way at the other end.” 

He doesn’t have to ask you twice. You scramble out of his lap, the couch’s leather creaking as you crawl over to where he instructed and sit back on your elbows to see what’s happening. Joel grunts as he gets up to stand, watching in interest when he squeezes the noticeable bulge at the front of his jeans. His arm goes behind his head to grab his shirt, pulling it up and off of his body to bare his torso. 

At seeing so much of his golden skin, your jaw goes slack—his freckled chest is so broad, tapering down to his trim waist, his abs showing a little bit of muscle definition you think is from doing manual labor and not working out. Your eyes fixate on the happy trail of hair below his belly button that disappears beneath the waistband of his jeans.

“Sure could get used to you lookin’ at me like that.” 

That has your attention snapping up to his face, where you find him smirking, and you close your mouth. 

“Sorry,” you apologize, your eyes darting away from him. 

“Nothin’ to be sorry about, darlin’. Makes me feel pretty fuckin’ great about the shape I’m in.” 

You look at him again. “Hate to break it to you, babe, but you’re in great shape and so hot—you’re really down to fuck me?” You point at yourself. 

He kneels on the sofa by your feet, his hand on the back of it to steady himself.

“Darlin’, if I didn’t know your daddy, and you were a stranger I met in a bar, I’d bring you home in a heartbeat. I feel like a real lucky son of a bitch that someone as young and pretty as you has any interest in an old guy like me.” He lifts one of your legs and gently kisses the inside of your ankle, the sweetness of it making you melt a little. 

“Oh, I’m very interested in you.” 

“Is that so?” he asks and spreads open your legs. He crawls over you, and you lie back, Joel nestling his hips between your thighs for you to feel how hard he is as he dips his head, kissing up the column of your throat—the nerves in your stomach flutter wildly. 

“Yes,” you whisper and need to touch him, wrapping your arms around his torso to press your palms against the warm skin on his shoulders—his body shudders, a rumbling groan coming from his chest. 

You squeak in surprise when his lips are suddenly on yours, kissing you hard. 

He takes over all of your senses—he’s all you see, he’s all you feel, he’s all you taste, he’s all you hear, he’s all you smell. It’s him, and him alone—his lips on yours, his tongue in your mouth, his weight on top of you. Your fingers thread into his hair, moaning as he takes over your very world, reveling in this feeling of being wanted. 

His lips leave yours, both of you breathing a little heavier. His teeth gently sink into your chin before kissing along the underside of your jaw. 

He speaks into your skin, his words muffled, “I’m very interested in you, too. I shouldn’t be, but I am.” His mouth ends up at your ear, and he quietly asks, “Can I eat your pussy?” 

“Oh.” The question surprises you. “I’m usually the one who asks. Do you want me to blow you first?” There was always a quid pro quo when it came to oral. 

His head lifts to look you in the eye. 

“Darlin’?”

“Yes, Joel?” 

“You’ve been with some truly shitty boys.” 

It makes you laugh, and he smiles. 

“Ain’t that the truth,” you reply. 

“It should always be ladies first—may I?” 

What a gentleman. 

“Absolutely.” 

“Good,” he says and pecks you on the lips. 

He doesn’t immediately move off of you, and it catches you off guard. Instead, his mouth blazes a trail, kissing down your body—your neck, your chest, and your belly. This is when your self-consciousness rears its ugly head. Joel is getting up close and personal with your imperfections—your scars, stretch marks, cellulite, all those little details you normally kept hidden in the safety of dark rooms or under shirts when you hooked up with someone. Now, you’re basically naked, the lamp is on, and he can see it all, which makes you feel uneasy. 

He kisses just above your belly button, then below it, going lower and lower until he places one last kiss on your panties, over your mound. He sits up on his knees, tracing the lines and curves of your thighs and hips with his large palms while he drinks you in as you lie there—you have to fight the urge to cover yourself, unable to meet his gaze.

The silence is broken when Joel speaks. “You’re so fuckin’ beautiful.” 

Your eyes seek out his face where you don’t find any deception, but you have to ask, “Really?” 

“Really.” He nods. “Fuckin’ gorgeous.” 

His attention goes to the apex of your thighs, and the pink of his tongue swipes along his bottom lip as if he’s imagining how you’ll taste. He strokes the pad of his thumb over the visible damp spot on your underwear, his other hand squeezing his cock that’s straining in his jeans. 

“I bet you have the prettiest pussy, too,” he says, and gets his fingers under the elastic waistband on your panties, pulling them down and off your legs, the air cool against your now bared skin. He shuffles back a little, then bends forward, spreading your lips open with two fingers as his face hovers over it. You think your heart might beat out of your chest with how fast it’s thudding, your skin feeling so hot. “I fuckin’ knew it, such a pretty pussy,” Joel murmurs. He circles your clit with his thumb, and the pleasure has every muscle in your body tensing and your eyes closing. “You’re gonna taste so good.” 

He loudly groans as he drags the flat of his tongue along your cunt, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking.

“Oh, god,” you moan, your body squirming at how good it feels. 

Joel has to pin down your hips with an arm across them to keep you still, his face buried in your pussy. He goes straight to the source, lapping at your entrance to taste your arousal while the tip of his perfect nose rubs against your bundle of nerves, his facial hair prickling your skin. 

Oh. 

Oh no. 

You’re fucked. 

It’s not even a minute in, and you can already feel your orgasm taking shape low in your belly, the muscles beginning to wind up. If you thought the first kiss ruined you, you know you’re ruined by how eagerly he’s eating you out—who knew this could be so good? You have to wonder how you’ll ever be able to fool around with anyone else when Joel is all you’ll be able to think about or compare it to—this is the only moment doubt invades your mind. You feel like this is all a mistake, but it’s quickly squashed by how unbelievably horny and curious you are. 

His mouth lifts, and you whine at its loss. “Gimme a second,” he pants. “I gotta see how tight you are.” That’s when one of his thick fingers presses to your soaked opening, and he slowly starts to push it inside. 

The slight stretch makes you gasp his name, your fingers clawing at the sofa’s maroon leather.  

“Christ,” Joel says. “You’re squeezin’ me. With how fuckin’ tight you are, I’d think this is your first time.” 

You sit back up on your elbows and open your eyes to look at him. 

“You just have massive fingers, and it’s been a while.” 

His gaze meets yours as he smirks. “Well, I’m gonna loosen you up with my massive fingers, and I think you’ll enjoy it.” 

He doesn’t wait for you to respond. His head dips, flicking his tongue side-to-side against your clit when you feel the sudden pressure of his second digit pushing into you—there’s even more of a stretch and the delicious feeling of being full. You fall back on the couch, tangling your fingers into the brown waves of hair on his head, moans falling unbidden from your lips. His digits crook as they pump in and out of you, sliding along your upper wall when they press into something that elicits white-hot pleasure, making you keen and wiggle under the hold he has on your lower half.

Yeah, you’re totally and completely fucked. 

He’s relentless with his mouth and fingers as you careen toward your end, free-falling in the throes of pleasure. He’s really going to get you off, and you think you might be in love with him. Is that crazy? Falling for the guy you absolutely should not fall for—that you can’t even have any kind of future with—because it’d ruin both of your lives, especially his. 

Why does that make you want him more? 

You definitely understand now why Eve ate the forbidden fruit—the temptation leads to such sweet gratification when you give in. 

He sucks your throbbing clit into his mouth, sweeping his tongue around it, and you can hear the wet squelch of him fucking his fingers into your cunt. Your thighs are trembling—you’re so close, the coil inside you winding tighter and tighter until it snaps, and you’re coming with an unintelligible cry. Your body seizes up, euphoria exploding out from your center, radiating to your fingers and toes. Joel removes his digits, his tongue taking their place to catch every bit of your slick he can get, groaning as he lets no drop go to waste. 

You’ve never come so hard, feeling a little floaty as you ride out your high, your chest heaving heavy breaths. With how shaky your arms and legs are, you’d think you were out in the freezing cold. 

Joel’s mouth comes off of you and he sits up, rubbing his hands along the outside of your legs. 

“Such a good girl for me,” he says. “Was it good?”

“Was it good?” you parrot back at him and push yourself up into a sitting position. “It was more than good, Joel—oh my god, it was amazing.” 

The bottom half of his face glistens in the lamplight, his shiny lips turning up in a smile. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yes.”

“You still wanna fuck?” 

“I think I will die if you don’t fuck me.”

He chuckles, and that’s all the answer he needs. He’s off the couch instantly, and you watch as he hurriedly unbuckles his belt and gets his jeans undone, shoving them and his boxers down his legs so fast it makes you giggle. He’s balancing on one foot, peeling off his sock, and you finally get a good look at his dick—it’s hard and bobbing between his legs, the tip flushed red and shiny from precum, and your eyes round at how big he is. 

“Second thoughts?” he asks, taking off his other sock. 

Your gaze rises to his, seeing he’s frowning. “No.” You shake your head. “It’s more, ‘I sure hope that thing fits inside me.’” 

He crookedly smiles, his chest puffing up a little. “It’ll fit—I promise.” And he has the audacity to wink at you. 

Just as quickly as he got off the sofa, he’s getting back on it, kneeling in the space between your spread thighs. His attention is on your pussy, rubbing the tip of himself against your swollen clit and through your wetness. Nerves swirl in your belly, along with arousal, his free hand giving your hip a reassuring squeeze before he’s spitting on his fingers and slicking up his cock. He notches himself at your entrance, and your heart is in your throat as you hold your breath.

“Just relax, baby,” he says. “You can take me.” 

He slowly starts feeding his hard length into you, making you gasp when the fat head breaches your slick cunt, your eyes squeezing shut, your fingers digging into the couch’s leather cushions. A groan rumbles from his throat, and you answer with a drawn-out moan as he burrows his thick cock deep inside you, your tight walls stretching to their limits to accommodate his size. Full doesn’t even begin to describe how stuffed you are—he’s hot inside you, almost searing, and you can feel him pulsing. He bottoms out and goes completely still, his hands on your hips in a bruising grip.

“Fuck, that’s good,” he rasps. “You okay?” His thumbs stroke circles on your skin. 

“Yes.” It comes out as more of a squeak. “I just need a second.” 

“Of course, sweetheart.” 

Darlin’, baby, and now sweetheart when his dick is inside you? Is he trying to make you fall in love with him?

He bends at the waist, one hand on the couch holding up his weight while the other massages your breast, his lips wrapping around your pebbled nipple, the sparks of pleasure going straight to your pussy. Your fingers wind up in his hair; what he’s doing to you has you whimpering at how good it feels and only makes you wetter where you’re joined. He pulls each of your legs up to rest on his ribs while his mouth moves higher, kissing your sternum and up the arch of your neck, sucking on your pulse point and making you squirm underneath him. 

His hands end up on either side of your head, his lips leaving behind a wet streak of kisses along the hinge of your jaw to finally ghost over yours—you can feel his breaths and smell your musk. He’s so close it wouldn’t take much more for your mouths to meet. 

His nose nudges yours. “Need more time?” he whispers. 

Enough has passed that you don’t feel as overwhelmed. You slide your palms up his back to his shoulders. 

“No,” you answer just as quietly. “You can move.” 

He pulls out almost all the way and pushes back in as his mouth claims yours, muffling your sounds when he sets up a rhythm of long, hard strokes. You’re gone—all rational thoughts go out the window, and the only thing you can think about is how his cock is moving in and out of you. It’s so distracting you’re having trouble kissing Joel back because your brain keeps screaming, ‘so big, so full, so good.’ 

You’re feverishly clutching at his shoulder blades, your nails leaving crescent moon imprints and scratches you’re sure will bleed on his golden skin, Joel moaning into your mouth. It surprises you when you feel the familiar tension of another orgasm making itself known deep in your core, the pressure rising with each thrust, the angle of them causing him to slide against spots you never knew existed, and you don’t ever want this to end. 

His lips leave yours, pressing his forehead to your cheek. He’s breathing hard, sweat beginning to bead on his skin as he keeps the same pace. 

“You feel so fuckin’ good,” he pants. “Fuck, I’ll never get enough of this pussy. Just wanna stay inside it until my dick is all it knows.” 

Your legs are quivering, your body is burning up, and you can’t get enough of how fucking good this feels. One time—one time—and you’re addicted, you’re drunk on the pleasure and will do anything—anything—for this to happen again. 

“It’s yours,” you gasp. “Oh, god, it’s yours!” 

His lips move to your ear, huskily asking, “It’s mine, baby? Your pussy is mine? I’m fuckin’ ya that good?” 

You’re so out of it and lost in the lust you start babbling, “Yes, it’s yours—fuck, ruin me,” you whine. 

“That’s what you want, for me to ruin your perfect little pussy?”

“Please—make me feel it. Make me ache to have your cock inside me again. Make me yours.” 

He growls, and you think you’ve said the wrong thing because he’s immediately pulling out, your eyes springing open in time to see him sit up on his knees. 

His big hands grab hold of your waist. “Flip,” is all he says, and you find yourself getting manhandled onto your front, Joel tugging you up onto your hands and knees. He wastes no time sheathing himself back inside you, pushing in so deep that your eyes roll back in your head and your toes curl.

Joel’s hips are flush against your ass, the full length of him seated all the way inside of you—you can’t think, your mouth open in a silent cry. He’s filling you to the absolute brim, and it becomes evident your cup has truly runneth over. 

He was right, though. It did fit. 

A shuddery breath escapes you. He only allows you a moment to get used to the new fullness before he’s pulling out until just the tip of him remains and snapping his hips forward hard enough it knocks the air from your lungs—this is how you learn what it’s like to really be fucked, and fucked good. 

His fingers dig into the skin on your waist, pulling you back as he thrusts forward at a pace that has you lightheaded, stars dancing behind your closed eyelids each time he presses against that heavenly spot inside you. 

Warmth grows in your belly, the sounds from the TV overshadowed by the filthy cacophony of skin hitting skin and the audible wetness of his cock working in and out of your used cunt—he’s grunting with each stroke, your moans stuttering from the onslaught.

“Is this what you wanted?” he asks through gritted teeth, emphasizing each word with a hard thrust. 

It’s a struggle to gather your thoughts and form a response with how good he’s fucking you. 

A palm lands on the side of your ass in a loud smack, the sweet sting causing you to clench around him and whimper. 

“Answer me, sweetheart,” he says. “Is this what you wanted?” 

All you can gasp out is a single word. “Yes!” 

“Am I fuckin’ you good?” 

“Yes!” 

He’s pounding into you at a near-brutal pace, the fire inside you only getting hotter as each second passes. 

“Look at me,” he orders. 

It takes everything in you to turn your head and look over your shoulder. Joel is a sight to behold—a flush rising from his chest to his cheeks, the sweat on his skin making it glisten under the lamp’s light, and his hair sticking wetly to his forehead. His eyes are heavy-lidded and glazed over, his jaw clenched. 

He slows, his gaze on yours. 

“You wanna be mine?” he asks. 

“Yes.” 

The moment your answer leaves your lips, he’s blanketing your back, holding himself up with a hand on the couch, the other going under you to palm your breast and tweak your stiff nipple with his fingers. 

He lightly bites your earlobe, his facial hair scratching your cheek when he kisses it. 

“I’m gonna make you come,” he says through heavy breaths. “Then I’m gonna fuck you full of me—you want that?” 

A shiver moves through you, and you gulp. 

“Yes.” 

“Good girl.” 

His hand smooths down your front over your stomach to between your legs, where he starts circling your clit with two fingers. It’s like a live wire along your spine, electricity sparking in your core—that added to the sensations of his cock splitting you open and pushing in and out of you has you rocketing toward your release. 

“You gonna come for me?” His hot breaths fan over your ear. “You gonna let me feel you come all over my cock? Come on, let me have it—come for me.” 

Joel’s bent over you, fucking into you harder and faster, his fingers deliciously swirling around your throbbing bud as he grunts in your ear with every thrust, all of it driving you higher and higher to your end. 

You’re so worked up that it doesn’t take much to have you falling over the edge—the muscles in your belly pull tight, your orgasm ripping through you, gasping Joel’s name. He sucks in a breath when your pussy clamps down on him, then loudly groans, continuing to fuck you through your high, and doesn’t stop—his fingers keep up their assault on your clit, and his hips snap into you in quick, short bursts that extend your high. You come, and come, and come to the point your arms give out, and your body shakes and twitches from all of the pleasure coursing through it. 

When you think you can’t take any more, relief washes over you that Joel follows suit. With one last thrust, he buries himself all the way to the hilt inside you as he falls forward, his front framing your back, his teeth sinking into the meat of your shoulder. He comes with a dirty, rumbling groan—you feel his dick thicken and pulse, hot spurts of his spend filling you. He grinds his hips, fucking it as deep as it will go, then stills.  

The movie’s ending credits are playing, hearing the music and your and Joel’s ragged breaths as you both come down. He’s at the same awkward angle as you, with your hips up and your faces down—his sweaty chest is pressed to your back, your bodies sticking together everywhere they touch. It’s not the most comfortable position, but with how your limbs tremble, you’re not entirely sure you can even move. 

You asked him to ruin you, and oh boy, did he deliver—you’re absolutely, positively ruined. It kills you that after whatever this night is, you’ll have to go back to subpar sex with guys who couldn’t find the clit if they were given a map and detailed directions. This is the second time tonight that you fear you’ve made a grave mistake hooking up with Joel, and the post-sex clarity is not helping the situation at all. 

What were you thinking?

That’s easy; you weren’t. Or, at the very least, you weren’t thinking with your brain. Your pussy took the lead on this one, and it looks like she’s gotten you into a bit of a situation. 

Your thoughts are interrupted when Joel’s arm wraps around your middle, and he turns you two onto your sides, the couch just barely wide enough to fit you both. 

“Tha’s better,” Joel slurs, nuzzling his face into your hair. His hand over your stomach feels around until he finds your smaller one, lacing your fingers together and holding it to your chest—oh, he’s cuddling with you. It’s unexpected and nice. You close your eyes and enjoy this taste of intimacy. 

Many minutes pass before he mumbles something you can’t make out. 

“I’m sorry,” you start and are immediately embarrassed by how hoarse and scratchy your voice sounds from all the sounds you made tonight. You clear your throat and try again, “I’m sorry—what did you say?” 

He turns his face so it’s out of your hair. 

“I asked if you wanna stay over,” he says. 

You smile. “Are you getting forgetful, Joel? You said I could stay over when I got here.” 

“Fuckin’ smartass,” he grumbles, and you giggle. “What I meant was, do you wanna stay in my room? With me,” he clarifies. 

“Only if you’re okay that I sleep naked—I’m not wearing my dress to bed.” 

“Was kinda hopin’ you’d be naked.” He kisses your shoulder. “But if you’re more comfortable wearin’ somethin’, I can get you one of my t-shirts—it’s no big deal.” 

“It baffles me that you’re single.” 

“Why?”

“Uh, because you’re incredibly sweet, amazing in bed, a great father, very handsome, hardworking, and just an all-around catch. If I had the opportunity, and you know, there wasn’t the elephant in the room—” The fact he’s much older than you and one of your dad’s best friends. “—I’d date you in a heartbeat. If you ever give dating a shot again, you’re going to make one lucky woman very happy.” 

“Fuck,” Joel groans, letting go of your hand to press his palm to his face. “What the hell am I doin’?”

That makes your stomach drop, and you frown—he’s regretting everything, and you can’t blame him. The post-sex clarity is a real bitch sometimes. 

“Stressing for no reason,” you reply. You’re pretty sure you can walk, so you get up from the sofa, ignoring how wobbly your legs feel and his come leaking down your thigh. “Don’t you remember, Joel?” you ask, looking toward the floor for your clothes. “You let me stay the night ‘cause you were worried about me driving home in the dark.” You carefully bend down to pick up your thong, followed by your bra and dress. “We watched Die Hard,” you continue, straightening to stand. “Then turned in for the night to our respective bedrooms. You’re a real stand-up guy for caring so much about your friend’s daughter’s safety.” 

You can’t even look at him, focusing instead on the TV where the Pearl Harbor DVD’s menu is on screen. 

“Stop that.” 

“Stop what?” 

“Tryin’ to pretend nothin’ happened.” 

“You clearly wish nothing happened, so nothing happened—where’s the bathroom?” You need to clean up, and you’re tempted to just leave altogether. 

“Up the stairs, second door on the right—when the hell did I say I wished nothin’ happened?” 

“You didn’t have to. Your ‘what the hell am I doin’?’ was enough for me to get it.” You hug your clothes closer to your body. “Anyways, thanks for tonight. I think I’m just gonna use the bathroom and get out of here. I don’t want you to worry, so I’ll stay at that cheap motel by the highway.” The sign said it was twenty-something dollars a night, and you can swing that. You start heading toward the stairs. 

“Hey, stop.” You don’t. You keep walking, willing the unshed tears in your eyes not to fall. 

Why are you so upset? You’re well aware that this can only be a one-time thing. It was something fun and sexy where you got to fuck the older, unattainable guy you’ve been crushing on for a while. It wasn’t anything serious, and couldn’t be anything serious, because there’s no future for you two together. Not when he’s a good friend of your father’s. That kills any chance of having a relationship with Joel. 

What hurts is he regrets it and wishes it never happened—you’re a mistake, and who wants to be someone’s mistake? 

His heavy footsteps sound behind you. “Darlin’, stop,” he says again, and you continue ignoring him. Fingers latch around your bicep and lightly tug. “Please, stop for a second. Talk to me.” Finally, you do as he’s requested, standing still in front of the staircase. He turns you to look at him in his big brown eyes, his hands holding your arms. 

“I don’t wish nothin’ happened,” he says. “You were talkin’ about how if things were different, you’d date me, but since they are the way they are, you won’t. I was thinkin’ to myself ‘what the hell am I doin’ wishin’ you’d change your mind,’ when I know it’s for the best.”

“Oh—really?” 

Hope swells in your chest, butterflies fluttering around in your tummy. 

“Yeah.” He nods. “Tell me you want nothin’ more to do with me, and I’ll grab you a towel and some of my clothes so you can wash up and retire to the guest room unless you’re truly set on stayin’ in a motel. In that case, I’ll pay for your room somewhere safer and much nicer, so I know you’ll be okay. Or—and I like this option more—you kiss me, and I’ll take you up to my bedroom so we can shower, either together or separately, whatever you’re comfortable with. Then we can get into my bed where we can talk and figure things out.” 

It sounds like he doesn’t want this to be a one-time thing, either, and that makes you so happy you let your clothes fall to the floor to throw your arms around his neck, crashing your lips to his. Joel groans, his arm sliding behind your back, hugging you closer to him, his other hand cradling your cheek. Suddenly, he’s backing you up until your heels hit the first step, and he guides you to sit on a higher one, Joel kneeling on a lower stair to be at the right height that his hips slot between your thighs when he lays you back. He licks into your mouth, deepening the kiss, your fingers digging into his shoulder blades. 

With how good he made you feel tonight, how wanted, you need more of him. There’s a looming fear in the back of your mind that this is too good to be true—that you’ll never be with him like this again, which makes you desperate for him. Your hand snakes its way between your bodies, taking his half-hard cock into your palm, slowly stroking it—a low rumble comes from the back of Joel’s throat. He gets his hand to the juncture of your thighs, sliding his fingers through the puffy lips of your sex, gathering your arousal and his come on his fingertips to rub at your swollen clit. 

“You’re mine,” he says into your lips. 

“I’m yours,” you answer. 

This is how you end up fucking on the stairs, Joel thrusting into you at a pace that has your toes curled and your fingers gripping his ass—your spine tingles from his mouth exploring your neck, mapping out the spots that make you gasp and moan, and you’re in heaven. 

A door slams shut on the other side of the railing, and your eyes fly open.

“Hey, Asshole!” a man calls. 

Joel’s hand covers your mouth, and you watch the intruder walk through the dining room to the kitchen without seeing you. 

“I brought over pizza so you can stop bein’ a sad and lonely sonofabitch!” 

Joel immediately pulls out and gets off you, using his strength to help you flip over. “Upstairs,” he whispers, tapping you on the hip, and you go as quickly and quietly as you can with Joel following. 

You make it to the second-story landing, and he grabs your hand, tugging you all the way down the hall into what you know is his bedroom by how it smells like him. He closes the door and locks it before beelining to his dresser, roughly pulling out one drawer from which he grabs a burgundy t-shirt, then another that he gets a pair of stretchy gray sweatpants. 

“Is this a dress?!” Is yelled from downstairs. “Do you have a girl over?! Who’d wanna fuck your sorry ass?!”

Surprisingly, the clothes in Joel’s hands are not for him; he shoves them into your arms and ushers you over to his bathroom. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, flicking on the light, the fan automatically turning on. “It’s Tommy. Stay in here, and I’ll kick him out.” Obnoxiously loud footsteps are coming up the stairs, and he has to take a deep breath, his eyes to the sky like he’s praying God will smite his brother right this second. “Lord, give me strength,” he breathes. 

“Where would you even meet a girl?!” Tommy asks from the hallway. “All you do is work—you never go out.” 

Joel pecks you on the lips. “I’ll be right back—stay in here,” he tells you again, and this time, he leaves, shutting the door behind him. 

There’s banging on the bedroom door, and your ears perk up as you put on the clothes. 

“Go home, Tommy,” he says. 

“Not until I know who this pretty dress belongs to.” 

“Give me that—it’s none of your fuckin’ business. Leave.” 

“Come on, Joel—we know the same people. Did you finally give in to Nikki? She’s wanted to go out with you for a long fuckin’ time.” 

“No, and it’s still none of your fuckin’ business who I have in the house I pay for. So, get goin’, or I’m gonna make you go.” 

“You can be a real dick, Joel. Why are you bein’ so fuckin’ secretive?”

“Do I ask about who you take home from the bar?” 

“No, but—”

“Exactly,” Joel interrupts. “I don’t give a fuck what you do in your spare time, and I sure as hell don’t need to tell you what I do in mine, so leave, Tommy—I’m not in the mood for your bullshit.” 

“With how fuckin’ grouchy you are, I don’t think you got laid at all—I’m gonna get goin’ ‘cause you clearly need the company of a woman. Bye, mystery woman with the pretty dress hidin’ in Joel’s bathroom!” he yells. “Hopefully you can cheer this fucker up! Enjoy the pizza!” 

It goes quiet, and you think Joel left the room, too. You can’t go anywhere, so you decide to take in your surroundings—the bathroom is cleaner than you’d expect from a single man, you have to put the toilet seat down when you pee, and as you’re washing your hands, you notice there’s only one toothbrush in a cup. 

You know you shouldn’t snoop, but you pull open the medicine cabinet and find an extra tube of toothpaste, some Tylenol, Ibuprofen, a thing of pain relief cream, then a shelf with a few medicine bottles that intrigues you—prescription pain pills, antidepressants, and heartburn medication. No red flags, but you’re a little worried about how much pain he’s in. You close the cabinet, and soft knocking on the bathroom door makes you jump. 

“You can come out,” Joel’s muffled voice says. “He’s gone.” 

Walking over to the door, you open it, Joel leaning against the doorframe in a white t-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants he must’ve put on before talking to Tommy. 

He sighs. “So, that was my brother.” 

“Seems nice—if I remember correctly, he’s younger, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“That explains how annoying he is.” 

He smiles, and an amused huff leaves him. “Yeah, he’s annoyin’ alright.” 

“We have the house to ourselves?” 

“We do—I walked him out myself.” 

You grin. “Wonderful.” You grab a fistful of his shirt. “Because I think you said something about us showering together, and I’d like to do that right now, then go eat pizza—I’ve somehow worked up an appetite,” you tell him and pull him forward; he happily comes your way with a smirk. 

“Worked up an appetite, huh?” he asks, his eyes on your mouth. 

“Yes. No clue how.” 

He closes the distance, his lips almost touching yours, when he replies, “Let me remind you how,” and kisses you. 

An hour later, you’re walking down the stairs clean and in your borrowed clothes. 

“Can we eat then go to bed?” you ask, through a yawn. “I had classes today, and that long ass drive, plus all the sex. I’m so damn tired.” 

Joel’s behind you in just his sweatpants. 

“I’m fuckin’ tired, too. That sounds good to me.” 

The only lights on downstairs are the lamps in the living room. You walk into the dark kitchen, Joel flipping on the light as he follows, and you head for the stove where the pizza is, popping open the box to see it’s pepperoni. 

“I’ll grab us some plates,” Joel says, rubbing your upper arms. He kisses the top of your head before stepping over to a cabinet.

Turning around, you’re about to ask Joel where the cups are when the dining room light comes on, Tommy standing by the switch. You gasp in shock; Joel’s immediate reaction is to grab a knife from the knife block and get between you and the unwanted visitor—it takes him a second to recognize it’s his brother. 

“Goddammit, Tommy!” Joel shouts and slams the butcher knife onto the countertop. “Are you tryin’ to get yourself killed?!”

“No,” his brother answers, shaking his head, and he looks a little too amused. “But you sure the hell are! Her?!” He points at you and has the audacity to laugh. “Oh, god, Joel,” he says through his glee and grabs the back of a chair, his other hand on his chest as he chuckles. “Her daddy is gonna kill you—you’re fucked!”

Joel sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, perching a palm on his hip. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” he says. “I’m a dead man walking.” 

“You are!” Tommy calms down, and his shit-eating grin annoys you. “What the hell were you thinkin’?” he asks. “I mean, I know what you were thinkin’. I just can’t get over you not only robbin’ the fuckin’ cradle, but bangin’ your best buddy’s daughter. How long has whatever this is—” He gestures at you both. “—been goin’ on?” 

“It just happened tonight—I don’t need you lecturin’ me on right and wrong. I know it’s a fucked up situation.” 

A fucked up situation? Ouch. The comment has you crossing your arms over your chest, staring at the floor. 

“Fucked up is right, and I’ve got no fuckin’ idea how you’re gonna get out of it. Her daddy finds out about this, and he’s gonna shoot you deader than dead.” 

“I told you I didn’t want you lecturin’ me.” 

Tommy puts his hands up. “Hey, I’m not lecturin’. I’m just statin’ the facts. I wanna make sure you know this thing between you two could get you killed. You’ve got a daughter, Joel—what would you do in this situation?” 

“Woah,” you interrupt, moving to stand beside Joel—Tommy’s comment about Sarah is a fucking nuke you need to try and hopefully defuse. “First of all, I just want to point out that I am a consenting adult and can fuck whoever I want. Second, I need to set the record straight and say that my dad isn’t going to kill anyone. He’ll be mad as hell if he finds out, but he isn’t going to commit murder because, truth be told, he’s never given a fuck about my life choices. I’d also like to add that this is kinda his fault for not having me visit more often because now Joel and I are pretty much strangers, and this whole thing isn’t as bad as it sounds.” 

“It’s still pretty bad, honey,” Tommy replies, his attention turning to you, smiling. 

“Maybe, but it’s also nobody’s business who I fuck.” 

“Sure, but this person you fucked is one of your daddy’s best friends whose—no offense—way too old for you.” 

“Why does everyone keep callin’ me old?” Joel grumbles. 

Tommy looks at his brother. “‘Cause you are, you old man.” He suddenly looks like he just realized something. “Wait a goddamn minute,” Tommy says. “Joel, are you havin’ a midlife crisis? You’re around the age people have those, right? It’d make sense why you’d risk your life to fuck her.” 

“Get out, Tommy,” Joel replies, pointing toward the front door. “I’ve had enough of you.” 

His younger brother pouts. “‘Cause I called you old?” 

“Out.” 

“Fine.” He slowly starts walking toward the hallway that leads to the front door. “I’ll get out of your hair so the two of you can enjoy the rest of your night. Bye!” 

The door loudly closes as he leaves. 

Well, you’re not entirely sure what’s going to happen now. Between the comment about Sarah and the other things that had been said, you wouldn’t be surprised if Joel ends this. You might as well cut your losses and get it over with to save yourself from more heartbreak. 

Your eyes are on the ground, the first tear falling down your cheek. “After all that, I know whatever this is is probably over,” you quietly say. “But is there a chance I can still sleep in your bed with you tonight? And if you’re willing, have you hold me?”

He turns and pulls you into his arms.

“Yeah, you can sleep with me,” he answers and kisses your hair. “But I’m gonna need you to stop.” 

You lean back to look at him with watery eyes. “Stop what?” 

A sad smile is on his lips. “Jumpin’ to conclusions without talkin’ to me. You’ve already got one foot out the door, and I haven’t even opened it.”

“It’s just everything Tommy said.” 

He lightly squeezes your biceps. “Tommy was bein’ a little shit. You were right when you said this isn’t as bad as it sounds, but you gotta be honest with me about somethin’.” 

“What?” you ask.

His hands come up to hold your face, his thumbs wiping away the tears that have fallen. “Are you positive your daddy won’t kill me? I’ve got Sarah to think about, and even though I like you a lot, I’m not gonna risk dyin’ to be happy.” 

The sweetest man and the best father.

You think about it for a second, and the sad truth is you can’t imagine your dad killing anyone for you—he doesn’t love you that much. He doesn’t love you to the same degree that Joel loves Sarah. With how easily Joel grabbed a knife to protect you, there’s no doubt in your mind he’d kill for his daughter without hesitation. 

“He’ll be pissed off, but he isn’t going to kill you. We also don’t need to tell him anything unless this turns into something. We can keep it to ourselves for now.” 

He hums in agreement. “You know, if you wanted, you could start comin’ here to do your laundry...” 

You smile. “How will you explain that to Sarah?” 

“That I’m helpin’ you out, which is true. Plus, I’ve got the guest room.” 

“Uh huh, the guest room that I’ll sleep in?” 

“Yes.” He nods. 

“Alone?” 

“I sleepwalk.” 

You snort. “Stop it.” You playfully push his chest. “Sarah is not gonna believe you sleepwalked into the guest room.” 

He snatches your hand, bringing it up to kiss your knuckles. “Who said anythin’ about Sarah knowin’ I’m in the guest room, or you bein’ in my room for that matter, while she’s sleepin’? There are also nights like tonight she spends with friends.” 

“You really want me to hang out here?”

“Yeah. It’s nice to have company that isn’t Tommy.”

“I believe that. As long as I’m not a bother, I’ll do my laundry here.”

He smiles. “Not a bother, and you can wash your clothes tomorrow and stay another night. You could even stay over Sunday, too, since you have Monday off—you’re more than welcome.”

You loop your arms around his neck. “Yes, Joel. I will spend my long weekend with you.” 

He leans in, brushing his lips against yours. “Good.” 

Main Masterlist

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be tagged in my fics, please fill out the form in my bio, on my masterlist, or just let me know! 

[weasleywinchester]

I Can't Help Myself - Ch. 6

And I Kissed it a Thousand Times

Series Summary:

This world isn’t kind to anyone; and heaven forbid anyone wants a slice of happiness. You wanted the stereotypical, as most people would tell you, dream of falling in love, getting married and having kids. After coming to Jackson, you kept that dream to yourself. Until your stupid best friend’s stupidly handsome older brother waltzes in, and you tell him. Joel thinks it’s nice that you can hold onto a dream like that… and he let’s his guard down just long enough to think maybe…he might want that too.

Chapter Summary: You should have killed her. Should have shot her right in the heart and put her the ground. You couldn't move, you life frozen at the exact second your husband took his last breath. And yet, time sill moved forward; a few days had passed, filled with uncertainty if those bastards that did this would be caught, if your family would ever fill whole again, if you would ever fill whole again. As much as you tried to keep everyone together, this path would take you to the limit.

warnings: Violence (beating, gun shots, blood, death), cursing

“(Y/N)?” Maria pokes her head into the house. The only answer she gets is the gentle creek of the foundation settling. She readjusts Billy in her arms, making sure not to wake him as she steps into the house. She peers into the living room, seeing you’ve moved from the couch. She sets Billy down, taking a look in each room before heading upstairs. Your office door is wide open, the quilt you were making still pressed under the sewing foot. She makes her way over to your bedroom, gently knocking.

After a second of silence she slowly opens the door. Her eyes find you laying on the bed, your body convulsing with every breath. She doesn’t know what to say. What could she say? Nothing. Nothing that a dozen people haven’t said already. She comes around the bed, sitting in front of you. You’re awake, eyes red, face tear stained even though no more fall down your face.

“Billy’s been askin for you. And Ellie.” She says softly, moving your hair out of your face.

“Is he her—here?” You hiccup.

“Ya.” She nods. “Charlotte has quite a few kids at the daycare today, told here I would take him.” You sit up, moving into the bathroom and splashing your face with cold water. You try to keep your eyes forward, only focusing on what you need for the task at hand.

“Just sit with him for a little bit. I can take him for a few nights.” She’s seen a few towns folk go through a loss like this, but it’s different when it’s so personal.

“Ellie?” You ask, keeping your hands firmly on the bathroom counter.

“Pie!” Billy’s giggle floats up the stairs. His laugh feels like a warm blanket wrapping around you. You can hear Ellie talking to him, telling him how much she loves him.

You quickly throw on the nearest flannel and make your way down stairs. You slowly walk into the living room, keeping your eyes on the floor until you see Billy hugging your legs. You scoop him up, his smile turning into a frown as he looks at you.

“Seen that frown somewhere else.” Ellie whispers, wrapping her arms around you and setting her head on your shoulder.

“Me too.” You manage to whisper back.

“Howdy family.” Tommy’s deep voice reverberates through the house. You feel his hand at your back as he gives the side of your head a kiss. You close your eyes, waiting for a second kiss from the second Miller brother, but it never comes.

“Let’s all watch a movie.” Tommy suggests, putting in the first tape he finds. You and Ellie move as one unit to the couch, sitting on one side of it. Billy wiggles out of your lap, and runs to the chair Maria has settled in. He yanks at the blanket, running back to you, climbing Ellie’s leg like a monkey. He proceeds to tuck you in, giving you a big sloppy kiss and snuggling against your chest.

You blankly watch the TV, trying to keep yourself laser focused on anything; the static edges of the old TV, memorizing where each scratch in the wood is, the way Billy’s hair has a slight wave to it like … You take a deep breath in, hugging Billy closer.

“You want us to take him?” Maria asks. You shake your head, trying to pull yourself back together. 

You manage to make it through the majority of the movie. Once Billy was asleep you took him up to your bed, laying him, and yourself, down. It was odd, the feeling of being so empty. You knew death was inevitable, you just never imagined watching as … It wasn’t so much his death, just the tragedy of it. Being helpless to save him, to get help in time.

“Momma?” Ellie croaks, coming to lay opposite of you. You stare at each other, not saying a word but knowing exactly what the silence means. A single tears rolls down her cheek, quickly followed by a steady stream of them. You pull her close, sandwiching Billy in between your bodies as the pillows catch your tears.

_______

The Following Night

Couldn't sleep. Not that it was unusual, but you knew you could fucking use it. Your brain leaping from memory to memory, good, bad and everything in between. The twitch started in your fingers, stretching them, opening and closing your fists in attempt to get it to go away. Then it moved to your toes; the wiggling and accidental pop of a knuckle. You feel the twitch continuously move through your body, irratating everything until your brain stops at one thought: You have to find that bitch.

You sit up, lighting the lantern and grabbing your backpack. You change out the gear, stuffing in new clothes and ammo. Quietly making your way down stairs, avoiding the creaky boards, you tug your boots on and slip out of the house. You jog over to the neighbor's yard and knock quietly on the door. A sigh of relief escapes your body when the lights flick on.

"(Y/N)?" Charlotte blinks.

"Can I leave Billy with you?" You whisper. You didn't want to leave him; he was so confused about everything, always searching for Joel when you came to pick him up from daycare.

"What's wrong?" She puts her hands on your biceps, a flash of concern in her eyes.

"Something I gotta do. Maria will come and get him around lunch."

She nods slowly, and you could kiss her right now. You bolt back to the house, coming to a screeching halt when a light flashes through the door window. As the deep clomp of boots comes close enough to the door you pop it open and hit whoever is behind it.

"Jesus- It's ME!" Tommy loudly whispers.

"What the fuck are you doin' in my house?" You whisper yell back.

"Looking for you." His one hand gestures to you while the other rubs his forehead.

"Why?" You push past him, walking into the kitchen to grab a bag full of snow from the cooler.

"I'm gunna find her." He states, waiting for you to turn around. "Why are you dressed?" He questions.

"Because I'm going with you." You state, handing him the bag. He sighs, setting it on the counter and gently cupping your face.

"You can't bear." He shakes his head.

"No one puts momma bear in a cage." You meekly smile as silent tears stream down your face.

"You gotta stay here. For Ellie and Billy." He puts his forehead to yours, a tear rolling down his cheek. "They already lost their dad. Can't lose their momma too." he whispers. You wrap your arms around him, squeezing him tight. You can't lose any more of your family, but you know Tommy won't rest until these fuckers are dead.

"Can I at least ride out with you?" You plead. You can feel him pull away, ready to argue. "Like a half day ride, just to see you off." You feel him sigh, relaxing into your embrace.

"Fine. But what about Billy?"

"Charlotte will take him for the day." You reassure him. He slowly lets go, cupping your face one last time before nodding for you to grab your son.

You quickly get him settled at Charlotte's, reassuring her you'll be back by early evening. You and Tommy walk in silence to the barn, gearing up your horses and riding out.

"You sure you want to go out? Maria might kill you." Tommy playfully pokes.

"She will kill me." You scoff. "But... I need to make sure you get a good start." You smile. Tommy nods and mounts his horse. You take a deep breath in, keeping the tears at bay and hop up into the saddle.

The two of you ride hard, past the patrol routes, past where you found Joel and Ellie on their way back to Jackson a couple of years ago. Tommy slows down just as you hit the edge of the valley, hopping off once he's decided it's safe.

"Be safe little brother." You give him a small smile.

"Pretty sure you're the younger one." He chuckles, his arms swallowing you in a hug.

"Come back."

"Always do bear."

_______

"Hey honey bee." You smile, scooping Billy into your arms. "Thanks for watching him." You nod to Charlotte.

"Anytime." She nods. You can tell she wants to ask if you're ok, and you're thankful when she doesn't.

"(Y/N)."

You turn to see Maria standin at your gate.

"Maria." You let out a deep sigh, quickly walking to your own house and letting her in. You set Billy down, who happily runs into the living room and starts pulling out his toys.

"Nothing we could do or say would have stopped him." You turn to her. Joel's jacket is gone...

"He left behind my back. After I said we couldn't spare anyone." She whispers. You can hear the tremble in her voice, the worry. And then her words register.

"You weren't going to send anyone?" Your mouth hangs open, brain trying to rationalize why.

"We're vulnerable. We need everyone here. We need Tommy here." Her voice is sharp, slicing you with each word.

"It would eat him alive," You boom. "He would never forgive himself for not going after her."

"I can't lose him." She whispers. You look at her, and it's like looking in a mirror. The pain, the stress, the abyss that waits for you to fall.

"You can't stop him." You can feel the lump in your throat form, the tears in your eyes threating to spill and never stop.

"I sent the one person who could." She confesses. You frown, the only person who's ever been able to kinda sorta stop him is Joel. And he's gone.

A high pitched noise travels through the house, the sound of your heart hammering in your chest trying to compete with it. You back out of the room, running to the coat rack. You reach for where Joel's jacket should be, but it's gone. The word around you spinning until you feel her hands on your shoulders.

"She was going anyways." Maria sobs.

"No..." You cry out, slumping to the floor.

_______

A Year Later

“Pie!” Billy claps as he looks at the picture of Ellie you have on the side table.

“That’s right honey bee.” You chuckle, handing him the frame. He gives it a big kiss, turning to give you the biggest grin.

“Yel’ow?” Tommy calls into the house.

“Sewin’ room!” You yell down to him. The clomp of his boots echoes up the stairs only stopping once Billy screams in delight.

“Hey booger.” He excitedly yells back, scooping him off the floor.

“Don’t you have some sort of job to do?” You yell over your shoulder.

“Just came to ask how your visit went?” He tickles Billy’s belly, the loudest giggle erupting from his little mouth.

“Really nice. They’ve done a good job with the house, it’s beautiful.” You smile. “Have a good round of crop growing’ too. There’s a head of lettuce in the kitchen if you want to take some.” You turn to see he’s got his patrol gear on. “Where are you goin?” You arch a brow at him.

“Figured I’d go see Ellie. Been a while.” He nods.

“You should have came with us.” You shake your head. He is in no condition to go anywhere alone.

“That’s alright. Been a while since I rode alone.” He gives Billy a smile as his tiny hands slap him in the face.

“You and Maria…” you prod, leaning against your desk next to him.

“Takin some time.”

Oh.

“Well, take the batch of cookies downstairs. Maybe they’ll make it to Ellie.” You poke him in the side as you smile at your son.

“Maybe.” He gives you a smile but there’s no warmth behind it. You knew he and Maria were on rocky footing after him and the kids made it back… but you figured him being alive would trump everything else.

"Be safe. The ride is simple but that don't mean there aren't critters out there." You add. He's hiding something. Only get's that look when he's about to do something stupid.

"I love you, you know that right?" His eyes search yours, although you're not sure what they're searching for.

"I love you too Tommy." You frown. After a moment he nods, putting Billy down.

"Best be off before it gets to dark for these old eyes to see." He pecks you on the cheek, taking one last look at you before making his way out.

_______

A Month Later

“Auntie Dina!” Billy exclaims, lurching in your arms. You whip around to see Dina and little JJ. 

“Dina!” You yell, quickly walking over to her and swallowing her in a hug. “Oh my is that little JJ? You’re so big!” You say in your best baby voice, giving his belly a tickle. “I didn't think you'd be back in town so soon, with the weather being so nice.” You smile until you see the terror in her eyes. “What’s-“

“(Y/N).”

You turn to the voice to see Maria jogging over to you. She shares a look with Dina, before turning to you. Her expression is neutral but there's a hint of sadness in her eyes.

“We need to talk.” You glance once more at Dina, who's suddenly found the floor very interesting.

“Be good for Auntie Dina.” You whisper to Billy, giving him a kiss and setting him down. Maria quickly leads you back to her house, locking the door behind you.

“Maria you’re scaring-“

“Tommy asked Ellie to go after the girl who killed Joel.” She blurts, eyes trained on the floor. You blink a few times, your brain refusing to grasp what she just said. “That’s why Dina came back to Jackson-“

“Where is he?” You interrupt.

"She's already been gone a month." Maria ignores your question.

"A MONTH!" Your jaw hits the floor. How could Tommy keep this to himself for a month. How could Dina...

"Dina hoped she'd come back." Maria sighs.

"Y'all better pray I don't kick each one of your asses." You growl in her ear as you stomp out of the house.

______

“WHAT THE FUCK TOMMY?” You slam the door to his office open.

“(Y/N), just listen-“ He begins to stand, hands held up in surrender.

“LISTEN? You sent Ellie after Abby? What the hell were you thinkin’?” You swat on old glass off the desk, shattering it on the wall. You put your hands on your head, taking a deep breath in. Tommy's your brother, you love him, even if he's a giant fuckin asshole...

“I was thinkin my brother deserved better! His family deserved peace!” He bellows back, sweeping his arm in front of him as if that peace was sat on the desk.

“Peace? We finally started to get past this! I can finally say his damn name without burstin' into tears!” You slam your hands down on the desk.

“He needs to be avenged-“ Tommy carefully states, leaning on the desk opposite of you.

“Avenged? You sent Ellie out for REVENGE YOU ASSHOLE!”

“She made a choice.” He cautiously walks around the desk.

“You should have asked me.” You grit through your teeth, fingers pressing so hard into the desk they're white.

“She’s an adult, she doesn’t need permission.” He gently reminds you, lightly placing his hands on your shoulders.

“She is my daughter. You had no right to ask this of her. She’s been through too much.” You can feel the lump in your throat get bigger, pressuring the tears in your eyes to free fall. “you should have sent me.”

“We both know Ellie’s one of the best trackers and she’s been fine on her patrols-“

“But she doesn’t have Joel! She’s alone out there.” Your voice wobbles, the dark thoughts already prodding and poking at your mind. “I can’t lose her too.” You sob, falling against Tommy's chest.

"She'll come back Bear... she'll come back." He soothes, gently rubbing your back.

_______

A Few Months Later.

Were meetings always this borin? Surely not, Joel would've hated them... You've been sat in the bar for what feels like eons, but has probably only been an hour. It's been too long since Ellie left. Too long since Billy or JJ have laughed from her silly jokes that they don't even understand.

"(Y/N)?"

You turn to see the group starin' at you.

"I'm sure y'all love havin me, but I gotta go." You stand up, grabbing you things and walking out. As you step into the street you take a deep breath in, letting the fresh air fill your lungs, the sun warming your skin.

"Memaw!" JJ happily shouts. You slowly open your eyes to see JJ wiggling away from a very nervous lookin Dina.

"Hey sugar cube." You close the gap between you and scoop JJ into your arms. "You helpin mom get more stuff from the house?" You tickle his belly and he gives you a happy giggle.

"We're actually done movin' our stuff." Dina mumbles.

"Oh, I didn't see you come by. Did you just put Ellie's stuff in her old room?" You cock your head to the side, gently bouncing JJ on your hip.

"Um, no. Her stuff is still at the house." Dina grabs JJ from your arms, ignoring his whine. "It'll be the only thing waiting for her." She turns on her heel and walks quickly away from you.

Shit.

You walk back into the bar, kneeling beside Maria.

"Can you watch Billy for a couple of days?" You whisper. Her eyes shift to you, a small frown appearing.

"Dina left all of Ellie's stuff..." And it might be all I have left of her.

She studies you for a moment, nodding. You clap your hands together and give her a silent thank you.

_______

Dina told Ellie she wouldn't wait for her if she left, but part of her hoped she would have. The house slowly comes into view as Ellie rides closer, dread sitting on her shoulders like a vulture. By the time she can see the tops of the windows she can see a wagon sitting out front, your wagon. The wagon you bring when you and Billy come to visit; the wagon that's always full of everything they didn't know they needed.

The soft nicker of a horse carries over the breeze and Ellie's heart leaps in her chest. She picks up the pace, leaping off her own horse and busting through the front door.

"Dina?" She shouts, eyes feverishly searching the house. A loud thump comes from upstairs. Ellie bolts toward it, wrapping her arms around whoever is crashing into her.

"Ellie." Your voice sounds relived, your embrace around her warming her to the core.

"Momma." The tears are soaking into your shirt as her body sags against yours.

"Oh sugarpie." Your own tears fall into her hair as you gently rock her. "I thought I lost you." You kiss the top of her head.

"Dina? JJ?" She leans back to see the answers in your eyes before you can say them.

"Back in Jackson. She waited for month." You reassure her, nodding furiously in hopes that Ellie knows Dina loves her. She nods and pulls you back to her.

_______

A Few Months Later

"Why you going to far down south?" Tommy shouts from his spot in the couch.

"Coffee." You shout back.

"Seriously?"

"No." You yell in his ear, making him jump. He throws glare, mumbling something about abusing the handicap person. You roll your eyes and plop next to him. "Ok, I'm kinda of goin' for coffee, but Jeremy also has some family that's movin', and I said I would help."

"And what about your children?" He gestures to the space in front of him.

"I think you'll be just fine." You pat his shoulder.

"Ha, very funny." He playfully sneers.

"Dina and Ellie said they'll take Billy." You let out a deep sigh, relaxing into your couch. "And Maria said she'd take you." you feel Tommy bolt upright next to you. "Well, more like you'll take her to dinner." You roll your head to look at him, his eyes flickering between excitement and fear.

"You mean it?" He whispers.

"Ya. Told her you've pulled your head out of your ass and are ready to apologize." You give a pointed look. He furiously nods, jumping off the couch and runnin' home.

_______

"Think that's the last of it." You huff, sitting down on the porch steps.

"I hope so." Jeremy takes a seat next to you. "I need a fuckin' drink." he chuckles. It's not deep like Joel's, it's much more breathy.

"And a good fuck." You add.

"I'll take you town if you take me to bed." he playfully bumps against your shoulder. You've been banting like this for a few months. It wasn't that you hadn't thought about Jeremy that way, the ceiling of your bedroom knew that; but he wasn't Joel. He wasn't the one you really wanted.

"Come on." He gestures for you to follow. You walk into town, Jeremy happily filling the silence with stories about his family.

"Think that's what you're lookin for." He points to a booth that has a few bags of coffee on the table.

"Oooo lord." You mumble, quickly walking over. You talk with the seller about what types they had and how much. After much bargining you settle on a good price. Another customer comes to stand next to you, her eyes scanning each product for sale.

"How long will we be here?" The boy on her other side asks.

"Not too long Lev." She softly tells him. Lev... that's an odd name.

"What brings you by?" The seller asks her as she finishes bagging up your coffee.

"Traveling through." She states. Your heart is racing. Can’t be. You quickly walk back to Jeremy, his face concerned.

"I need you to find out who that girl at the table is." You ask him. He stares at you moment, not sure what the girl is to you, but gives you a curt nod and leads you to the local bar.

_______

"Her name is Abby." He whispers as he sits across from you. You sat in the bar all day, watching as Lev and his friend resupplied for their trip.

"She's a firefly." He states, waving to the bartender. You sit in silce, letting every single memory with every single emotion attached to them flow through you.

"You know her." Jeremy observes from your silence. You're practically buzzing in your seat.

"She killed Joel. Jesse. Nearly killed Ellie, Tommy and Dina." You grit through your teeth. It's taking every ounce of will power not to run up to her and beat the shit out her.

"And the kid?"

"Seraphite."

Jeremy nods, downing his drink as he stands up.

"Stay here." He whispers, kissing your forehead. You do as he says, sitting for what feels like hours until he sits back in front of you. Your eyes shift to his face, which is covered in dirt. He waves to the bartender not looking at you until he throws back a drink.

"She'll never hurt your family again." He states. Your mind picks apart his words, taking in all the information that's packed behind it. You can feel the heat rise in the room, your breath quickening. You slump back into you chair, hand coming to your mouth as tears silently fall down your face.

It's over.

[ladykatakuri]

Stardust Reblog Challenge Sept 19th

Somehow I could not add to my Masterlist, so I am adding here to the second one for this challenge

Sun and Rain, Hunter x F! O.C by: @photogirl894 NSFW

19th:

Echo: Sweet Love, Echo x Virgin F!Reader by: @zoeykallus NSFW

TBB HC`s - Playing Trustfall by: @zoeykallus SFW

Clone Trooper Rambles: Haircut by @wanderinginksplot SFW

Notes on Tutoring Chap. 31, Dave York x F!Reader by: @honestly-shite NSFW

Falling for You, TBB x GN!Reader by: @nahoney22 SFW

Relaxing, Quality Time, Fox x GN!Reader by: @zoeykallus SFW

TBB x Reader HC`s Regain Trust After Order 66 by: @zoeykallus SFW

Echo - There for you 22, Things left unsaid Echo x F!Reader by: @zoeykallus SFW

Walk me Home: Prologue by: @cyarbika SFW ( this is the next part to No Strings Attached people !!!!!!! )

TBB x F!Reader - Bra-less Comfort by: @zoeykallus Slightly NSFW

20th:

Kindred Chapter 1, Hunter x F!O.C by: @clonecyaree SFW

In Perfect Light Chapter 31, Crosshair x F!Reader by: @interstellarwraith SFW

TBB, Rex and Cody x F!Reader, The Savior and the Hostage by: @zoeykallus SFW

Barista to Sugar Baby, Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader by: @absurdthirst and co written by: @storiesofthefandomlovers NSFW

Only Room in the Inn, Pero Tovar x F!Reader by: @absurdthirst co written by @storiesofthefandomlovers

21st:

Sun and Rain Chapter 52, Hunter x Kimber ( F!OC ) by: @photogirl894 SFW

22nd:

Hunter: Dirty Little Thief 13 by @zoeykallus SFW

Wiggle Room, Tech x F!Reader by: @tech-deck NSFW

26th:

Gar Cyare Chapter 3 by: @wanderinginksplot SFW

Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken {Oberyn Martell x F!Reader x Pero Tovar} by: @absurdthirst NSFW

Wild Abandon Chapter 10, Ezra x F!Reader by: @starlightmornings NSFW

In Perfect Light Chapter 32, Crosshair x F!Reader by: @interstellarwraith SFW

Ask for me Again, Cassian Andor x F!Reader by: @princessxkenobi NSFW

Deserve, Marc Specter x F!Reader (implied Steven Grant x F!Reader ) by: @softlybarnes NSFW

Walk me Home Chapter 1, Wolffe x Cherise (OFC) by: @cyarbika SFW

27th:

Little Secrets, Tech x F!Reader by: @zoeykallus SFW

Insights and Glimpses, TBB x F!Reader by: @zoeykallus SFW ( some little suggestive thingies )

I need your Help, TBB x Depressed Reader HC`s by: @zoeykallus SFW

Wedding Night, TBB, Howzer x F!Reader HC`s by: @zoeykallus NSFW

Hot Blood, Cassian Andor x Curby F!Reader by: @weasleywinchester NSFW

The Reunion, TBB and many others X F!OC`s by: @imabeautifulbutterfly SFW

28th:

My Sweet Traitor, Imp!Crosshair x F!Reader by: @zoeykallus SFW

I`ve got so much love for you, Fives x Virgin F!Reader by: @zoeykallus NSFWish

Memories Lost and Found, TBB/Wolffe and Fox x F!Reader by: @zoeykallus SFW

Cold Hands, TBB x Reader HC`s by: @zoeykallus SFW ( partly suggestive )

Stay Close VI, modern!Pero Tovar x F!Reader by: @ezrasbirdie NSFW

29th:

TBB x F!Reader HC`s, Hiding your pregnancy from them by: @zoeykallus SFW

Bloodlust part 7, Din Djarin x F!Reader by: @dindjarindiaries NSFW

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Right Girl, Wrong Time Part 3 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: Bradley is feeling very nostalgic after spending the night with you in his arms. He suggests a visit to the library, and you suggest he joins you for a second sleepover. 

Warnings: Smut, fluff, swears, and angst

Length: 4800 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader (former fuckboy college student Bradley)

This is a sequel to accompany my story Old Habits Die Hard (you'll want to read that one first)!

Check my profile for my masterlist

You were so warm and comfortable. You were never this cozy when you woke up alone in your bed. You cracked your eyes open, and the first thing you saw was an arm wrapped around you from behind. Then you heard soft breathing and felt the arm tighten around you as you shifted a bit. 

"Morning, Sugar." You melted back against Bradley as his mustache brushed the back of your neck. 

His fingers gently stroked along your chest and tummy through the fabric of his tee shirt. Even through your warm haze, you felt goosebumps tingling your skin as your legs tangled with his. 

And he was hard. Already hard for you. Ready if you wanted him. And you really, really wanted him. 

"Beer Boy," you whispered, and you were welcomed with a soft groan next to your ear as he pressed his length against the back of your thigh. He let you take his hand in yours, and you guided it lower until he was touching the bare skin below your belly button. You pushed his hand down to your bare pussy and into your wetness. 

You let him tease you for a minute, and he expertly got you so wet, you felt warm thinking about the spot you left on his pants last night. His lips felt too good on your pulse point, sucking enough to leave you short of breath. 

You rolled over in his arms so you were facing him, and he was impossibly handsome in his still sleepy state with his hair a mess. 

"Hi," you whispered, and he grinned briefly before your lips collided with his. He rolled onto his back with you clinging to him, and he welcomed you above his body like you belonged there. The prickle of his mustache against your upper lip was addicting, and you kissed him over and over, going back for more. 

When you paused to slip your leg around his waist and straddle him, he whispered, "Hi." This time you were the one grinning as you ran your fingers through his beautiful hair. He was looking up at you like he would let you do anything you wanted to him. Like you were in charge. 

So you kissed him gently this time, tasting his lips and his tongue and running your thumb along all of his scars. They had faded so much over time, but the pattern was still perfectly ingrained in your mind. You remembered him telling you how he got these scars, what he had done for his friend. You shivered as you thought that at one time, he would have been willing to do something like that for you.

You released his lips, but he used his big hand at the back of your neck to guide you back to him. You smiled against his lips as you wiggled your pussy along his solid abs, his hard cock tapping against your butt with every movement. 

"I had it so good," you told him when you both needed to catch your breath.

"I'm right here." His eyes were bright and sincere as he longingly gazed up at you, rubbing your bottom lip with his thumb.

You kissed his thumb and then the palm��of his hand. "Yeah... but you used to be mine."

"Sugar," he groaned as you guided yourself a little lower until you were rubbing your slick entrance along his length. "Tell me what you want," he rasped next to your ear. "I want to hear you say it."

You moaned as you said, "I want you to kiss me until I sound stupid and touch me until I sound so fucking dumb."

His hands were under the tee shirt, guiding it gently over your head. You shook with anticipation as his lips wrapped around one taut nipple, tossing the shirt to the floor. With his hands on your hips, he guided you to his cock, and you let him push past your entrance, slowly filling you up. 

"I was thinking," he muttered while his wet lips made your nipple hard. "Sugar, we should visit the library later."

You whined so loudly as you vigorously nodded your head. "Yes! Please," you begged, riding his cock slowly. "Please, take me there."

He sucked hard on your nipples, keeping your pace steady with his hands at your waist. "You gonna spend the whole weekend with me, smart girl? Making love like this?"

You were already close, nodding for him, because you could barely speak. When he started slamming his hips up against you, fucking you harder, you came with nonsensical words all over your lips. And he filled you up with his cum again, just like last night. 

As you collapsed on top of him and came down from your wave of euphoria, you recognized this for what it was. It really did feel like you were making love to him. It had always felt like more than fucking. 

And now, as he stroked your back with his long fingers, you were thinking about the last words you said to him before you left him at his frat house and moved to Chicago. 

I love you, Beer Boy.

But Bradley hadn't mentioned it at all last night or so far this morning. Maybe he had never heard you speak them. That thought made you inexplicably sad. 

"Wanna get breakfast?" he asked softly against your hair. 

You just nodded against his neck and peeled yourself off him. "I know a cute restaurant, if you want to try it out."

He looked at you with those soft brown eyes and smiled. "I'll go anywhere you take me today, Sugar."

--------------------------

Bradley watched his cum coat your pussy and inner thighs as you stood up and suggested a restaurant that you liked for brunch. You shifted weight from one foot to the other, and he stretched out on the pillow with his hands tucked behind his head. He could just lie here and look at you all day, but brunch with you did sound nice. 

"And...." you started, biting your lip nervously.

"Sugar. Didn't I already tell you? Don't hesitate with me. Tell me what's on your mind."

You leaned down to kiss him briefly. "Do you want to check out of the hotel and come stay at my house tonight?"

His heart was pounding as you pulled your mouth away from his and looked at him hesitantly. Another broken heart was probably inevitable at this point, but he couldn't stop himself. 

"Yeah. I want that."

"Okay," you said with a small smile. "I'm going to shower quickly, and then get changed into my dress from last night with no underwear and absolutely no shame, and then we can get food."

Bradley laughed as he watched you dash into the bathroom. He took a few deep breaths as he heard you turn on the shower. He got out of bed and cleaned himself up again. The room was trashed, and he'd always been a bit of a clean freak. Without stepping on the broken lamp, he stacked the pizza box and other trash on the desk. Then he picked up all the discarded clothing and started to organize his suitcase. 

When you stepped out of the bathroom, still naked, he handed your dress to you before kissing your forehead and using the bathroom himself. 

---------------------

You were sitting on the edge of the bed, putting your shoes on, when Bradley's luggage tag caught your eye. At first it startled you that you would have recognized his handwriting anywhere. You could still easily picture 'SUGAR what's your number?' written on his pristine bedroom door. 

But it was his actual address written in that tidy penmanship that had you scrambling to get a closer look. 

San Diego. Bradley lived in San Diego. You'd mentioned you were looking at San Diego State, and he had said nothing. He had even brought it up again last night, listening to you go on and on about your Miami versus San Diego debate. But he had said nothing other than mentioning he lived on the west coast. 

Your stomach felt uneasy now. Wouldn't he want you to know that? Didn't he understand that would probably make your choice between the two jobs a lot easier? 

Unless he wasn't feeling the same way you were right now. God, your heart would break if you told him you wanted to move to San Diego and be with him, only to hear him say he wasn't interested in that idea. 

As he strolled out of the bathroom, you dropped the tag from your fingers and turned to look at him. He looked fantastic. He looked like everything you'd ever wanted. 

"This okay for brunch?" he asked, looking down at his worn jeans and gray golf shirt. "I didn't bring anything too nice, other than my suit for tonight. And you're looking hot in that dress again."

You grinned. "You look good, Beer Boy. And I'm literally wearing last night's wrinkly dress that you gave me head in."

He swallowed hard and looked at you with those soft eyes again. "Yeah... without any underwear."

So he was interested in sex. Okay, you could try to reel it in a bit. See how that worked out for you. 

"You ready to go?" you asked softly, and Bradley gathered up his bags before taking your hand and leading you toward the elevator. 

Oh, the kisses. They were soft, unhurried, and perfect as you rode the few floors down to the lobby. And your hand felt tiny and protected in his as he led you to the front desk.

"Hi, I'm going to be checking out early," he told the woman at the desk, kissing the back of your hand before releasing it to get his wallet out. 

"Is everything okay, sir?" she asked politely, eyes sliding between yours and Bradley's. 

"Perfect, actually," he said smoothly. "But my girl and I accidentally broke the lamp. So sorry. Can you just charge it to my card?" he asked, handing over his credit card and grinning at you. 

My girl. You buried your face against his bicep and listened to the hotel employee clear her throat. 

"No problem, sir," she told him, and Bradley was still grinning when you looked up at him. You probably wouldn't even make it through brunch. He'd made you feel so good last night and this morning, and he was seriously messing with your heart now. 

"Let's go, Sugar," Bradley told you, leading you outside where his rental car was waiting for him at the valet stand. You followed him. You'd follow him anywhere right now. 

You gave him directions to the restaurant, and you realized this was your first time in a car with him. He was a very good driver. "Park over there," you told him, and he pulled into a lot. You watched him jog around the car and open your door for you and take your hand. 

You naturally laced your fingers with his and led him inside where it smelled like coffee, bacon and cinnamon rolls. "I'm starving," he groaned, wrapping his arm around your waist as you waited to be seated. "You're wearing me out. I'm ordering everything."

You laughed. "You used to eat a ton ten years ago, too."

"Yeah, but I can afford real food now. Not just cereal and strawberries."

"I liked the cereal and strawberries," you whispered as the hostess led you to a small table, and you felt Bradley's fingers tighten on your waist before he pulled out your chair for you.

Bradley waited until you were alone with your menus before he said, "I liked the s'mores too, Sugar." 

You gazed at his handsome face over your menu, and your mind drifted to the spring break you spent with him alone at his frat house. It had been the most perfect week, listening to music, eating s'mores in the kitchen, and having sex. You wondered, not for the first time, if he still had those dirty photos saved somewhere. "Me too."

He hadn't been lying. You listened to Bradley order a ton of food for brunch compared to your stack of pancakes. 

"I was going to say this is my treat, but now I'm second guessing exactly how much this bill is going to be," you told him after the waiter delivered two coffees. 

Bradley barked out a laugh. "Yeah, no way. Nobody should have to pay for my food except me. It's my treat, Sugar."

You watched him take his phone out of his pocket and set it screen side down next to your clutch. It had a cool phone case that looked like yellow, red and black graffiti. "Rooster?" you asked, reading the single word on the case.

He looked up expectantly. "Yeah, Sugar?"

You pointed to his phone in confusion. "It says Rooster."

He just nodded. "Oh, yeah, that's my call sign." He took another small sip of his hot coffee. 

"Oh! I hadn't even thought to ask!" You hummed, considering how it sounded when you said it. "Rooster. Rooster. I like it, but you know... Roosters are flightless birds. And you're an aviator."

Bradley was holding back his laughter as he said, "Yes, I know."

"Was Beer Boy already taken?" you asked with a smirk, stirring some cream into your coffee.

He did laugh this time. "I doubt it, but you're the only one allowed to call me that."

You felt warm inside, and not just from the first sip of your coffee. 

"Nat got me the phone case for my birthday," he told you. "I thought it was pretty cool. She has a matching one with her call sign on it."

You just looked at him for a beat. "A girl got you a phone case with your call sign? And your call sign is Rooster? Is that because of your big cock?"

Bradley choked on his sip of coffee, and you started giggling. You were kind of feeling like you didn't like this Natasha Phoenix girl too much, but the look on Bradley's face had you smiling again.

"No!" he said, after wiping his mouth with his napkin. "It's not like that at all! My dad's call sign was Goose, and Rooster felt similar. Related, kind of. It just sort of stuck."

"Oh! I like that."

"Yeah, and Nat and I?" he asked, eyeing you closely. "Nah, we've never so much as touched each other. Unless you include her smacking me when I say something stupid."

So you'd been obvious in your feelings about his friend. You were a little embarrassed. You swallowed hard, and just rolled your eyes. "Well, I'm sure you didn't have any trouble finding girls in flight school. They were probably lining up to keep you warm on those cold, Rhode Island winter nights."

Bradley had a concerned look on his face as he set down his mug of coffee. He opened his mouth twice before he finally spoke. "Sugar. I don't think you fully appreciate how much you changed me. Or... I guess, how much you made me want to change. To be better for you."

Now you were gaping at him. His brow was creased, and he looked down at his coffee mug as he took a deep breath. 

"I was different after you broke up with me," he said, meeting your eyes again. "And I didn't go back to hooking up. I swear. I didn't like the person I was before I painted my door and started over again with you."

"Bradley," you whispered. Sitting here with him, sipping coffee in his presence, was just so surreal. You thought about him a lot, but you always blocked out the possibility that he was sleeping around. Hell, you blocked out the idea of him with anyone else at all. It hurt too much to think about. 

"I dated four women in the past ten years. I had four sexual partners in the past ten years. Do the math, Sugar. It's your specialty," he said with a tight smile. 

"Really? No more hooking up?" you asked softly. He stretched his legs out under the table and bracketed yours in. 

"You taught me to look for quality over quantity. An important lesson. So, thank you for that."

You had the urge to fling yourself into his lap and never leave. You were about to reach across the table and start making out with him when your waiter arrived with plate after plate of food. Bradley kept his eyes on you while the food piled up in front of him, and you broke out into a grin that he matched. 

"Are you going to help me eat all of this?" he asked, laughing as he looked at the single stack of three pancakes you had ordered. 

You muttered, "You're on your own, Beer Boy," before you stole a bite of a cinnamon roll and a piece of bacon. 

"So tell me more about Chicago. Did you love it?" he asked, cutting into a gigantic waffle. "How was the giant bean?"

You sucked in a breath. Bradley eyed you with interest when you didn't answer right away. "I... well, I never went to see the bean."

"You never went to see the bean?" he asked, looking alarmed. "Are you actually allowed to say you lived in Chicago if you never visited the giant bean?"

You bit your lip; it was better to just tell him and get it over with. "I never went to the bean. Because I promised you I wouldn't go without you."

His expression went soft. "Sugar. You didn't have to hold yourself to that. You didn't have to... limit yourself because of me."

You thought about your Grateful Dead tattoo. You thought about how you never went to the bean. You thought about how you never really let yourself fall in love with the deep dish pizzas, because you weren't sharing them with him. It all seemed silly just a few days ago. But now? Now that Bradley was here with you, all these things you did seemed important again. Relevant. Fateful.

You scrambled to change the subject. "The winters were horrible though. Truly miserable. Would not recommend being there in January." Bradley chuckled as you said, "And actually, the summers were kind of miserably hot. Sort of makes me want to rule out Miami." 

His eyes flicked up from his waffle so fast, you almost laughed. "So that would leave San Diego?" he asked softly. 

You licked some syrup from the corner of your mouth, still wondering why he hadn't given you the real answer as to where he lives. 

"I'm still going to visit both schools. But if it comes down to it, I'd probably go with the San Andreas Fault over perpetual hurricanes."

"Good choice," he told you, kind of smiling as he ate his enormous breakfast.

------------------------

Bradley's head was swimming as he handed his credit card to the waiter and moved your little purse before you could try to leave the tip. Everything felt like a mystery he was trying to solve, but he didn't seem to have all the information. 

You had a tattoo of the lyrics he used to sing to you. You never went to see the giant bean. You were talking about San Diego. You were working at UVA. You were at the same bar as him last night. You had once upon a time loved him.

He felt lost in you as you slipped your hand into his and walked back to his rental car. 

"Still feel like visiting the library?" you asked, looking up at him. 

You were interested in another round of sex with him. He was interested in having sex with you, too, but he was also interested in more than that.

"Yeah," he managed to say. He couldn't deny himself this weekend with you, even if this was all he'd ever get to have. It felt like a gift. 

You pressed up onto your tiptoes and kissed him, licking his lip with the tip of your tongue as he groaned. You tasted like coffee and maple syrup. And he was still in love with you. 

Then you were pulling him toward the car. "Let's go, Beer Boy."

He parked next to the library, and you were pulling your faculty ID card out of your purse. 

"Remember the ancient librarian? Who knew us by name?" he asked as you walked down the sidewalk hand in hand.

"You really are feeling nostalgic, huh?" you said with a laugh. 

He was. He really was. It felt like ten days had passed, not ten years. 

Bradley did a double take upon entering the library and finding the same librarian was still there. You held up your ID card, and she greeted you as Professor with a smile. Then she turned to Bradley with a look of surprise, and he grinned at her. 

"It's nice to see you again," he told her with a wave as you pulled him through to the stacks. 

The library was nearly deserted as Bradley chased after you as you looped through some of the dark shelves on the way to the study rooms. 

"I can't believe she still works here!" he whispered, but you turned and looked at him over your shoulder with a smile and ran a little faster. 

When you got to the row of study rooms, he caught up to you and wrapped his arms around you from behind. 

You were laughing softly as you caught your breath. "Do you remember which study room it was, Beer Boy?" you ask him as he kissed your neck. 

"Is that a serious question? Of course I remember, Sugar," he mumbled next to your ear, gently guiding you forward to the room second from the end. "It's ingrained in my mind."

You pulled the door open and flipped on the light, and Bradley felt like he had taken a time machine back to the best moments of his adult life. You were spinning in his arms, turning to face him as he kicked the door closed.

"I never thought I'd get to do this again," he groaned as he guided you back against the door. "God, I loved being in here with you."

You moaned as he pressed himself against you, so pliant in his hands. "I loved it too, Bradley," you managed between kisses that were somehow both sweet and hot. 

He guided both hands under your dress, hissing at the feel of your bare ass and pussy against his fingers. He could picture your cum soaked underwear from last night on the top of his clothing folded up in his suitcase. Now that he was given another chance to defile the library with you, he was going to make his cum drip down your legs.

"I'm gonna get you off so good," he promised, rubbing his mustache against your neck as your head tipped back against the door with a soft thud. 

"I know you will. You're the best," you whined, bucking against his hand when he teased your clit. Within seconds, you were begging. "Please, Bradley. Please."

So he slipped a finger inside you, and you started to move your hips along with his hand. "You always did like my fingers. Here. At the movie theater. In your kitchen."

When he added a second finger, you were babbling and moaning. 

"You're already close? God, you sound so dumb, Sugar," he told you with a grin when you met his eyes. You were shaking your head slightly, lips parted, gasping for breath. He had your dress pulled up around your waist while he finger fucked your bare pussy. Your legs were shaking as you pushed your fingers up into his hair. 

He felt as possessive of you as he had when you were both just twenty one. He withdrew his fingers and licked them clean while you watched, clenching your thighs together. 

He grabbed a chair and rammed it under the doorknob before grabbing another one and sitting down in it. He sat right in front of you with his thighs spread and coaxed you toward him with his index finger. 

"Come here, Professor Sugar," he told you. You already looked a little crazed and fucked out as you pushed away from the door and took a shaky step toward him. Bradley hiked your dress up as you sat down straddling his lap, and your lips were on his instantly. 

You kissed him slowly and sweetly as you pressed your pussy against the rough front of his jeans. He swallowed your sigh as you started to swirl your hips against him, easing yourself down to rub against his hard cock through the denim. Your head tipped away from him as you whined. 

It was just like your very first encounter here ten years ago, and Bradley growled with need. "You ever bring anyone else here with you?" he asked, digging his fingers into the soft flesh of your ass.

You squeezed his shoulders a little tighter and your eyelids fluttered open to look at him as you started to shake. "No."

He used his other hand to grab your chin and force you to look at him. Your eyes were wild with need. "Study rooms are just for me," he said forcefully as you got yourself closer, rubbing your clit against his pants. "Nobody else. That does for your new job in San Diego or Miami, too. Understand?"

"Yes!" you moaned, stroking his scars and looking at him like you'd do anything he told you. 

He rubbed along your bottom lip with his thumb. "Everytime you see a library, I want you to think about how good I can make you feel."

"Bradley!" you cried as you came, and he dug his hands into your flesh, harder and harder. He smacked your ass one time before he hauled you out of the chair and bent you over the table, barely giving you a chance to get your footing before he was unzipping his jeans. 

You'd left another wet spot. He couldn't fathom at the moment how he'd gone ten years without you. It felt like he had accomplished the impossible. But he was certain he never wanted to do it again. 

Bradley listened to your little gasps and whining sounds as you came down from your orgasm. He pushed you down on the table until your cheek was pressed against the wood, your ass and pussy on display for him as he shoved your dress up to your waist. 

He ran his hands along your soft skin, his hard cock hanging out of his pants twitching in anticipation. "I've thought about this more times than I should have, Sugar. I've thought about you a lot," he whispered, bending to kiss your cheek and your ear as he rubbed himself against your pussy. 

"Beer Boy," you whispered with a smile, reaching back to take his hand. 

"This is better than my memories," he swore, pushing his length inside you.

You were holding his hand against the table next to your face and whining as he fucked you. "Bradley, do what you want with me. Make me yours again."

He wanted that. He really wanted that. 

He was so turned on by you and the feel of your lips pressing against his hand. "Oh, Sugar," he hissed as he fucked you hard, bumping the table a few inches across the floor. That's what he wanted. He wanted you to be his. 

When you arched your back, you took him even deeper, and Bradley could feel your pussy fluttering and clenching around his cock. You were moaning nonsense while you kissed and licked his hand, and you came a second time for him. 

Bradley filled you with his cum, immediately pulling you up to stand against his body. He wrapped his arms around the front of you, stroking your chest and belly through your dress as he let his chin rest on your shoulder. 

Bradley rubbed his nose along your cheek. Everything he thought about saying to you felt insubstantial, so he just remained quiet. You didn't say anything either. Instead you eased his cock out of your pussy and spun to face him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, placing kiss after sweet kiss to his lips and mustache. 

As you stroked your fingers through his hair and looked at him with so many unspoken feelings behind your gaze, Bradley felt his heart clench for you. 

When you finally spoke, your voice was soft and comforting as you smiled. "I got your pants wet again."

Bradley barked out a laugh. "That's okay, Sugar. I'll wear it like a badge of honor. In fact, I'd love to get you grinding on me in my uniform."

You bit your lip, eyes half lidded as you nodded at him. "That sounds so hot," you whispered. 

He wanted to tell you he could make that happen. He wanted to tell you he would love to be your boyfriend again. But he couldn't do that yet.

You tugged on his hand and said, "Let's go to my house, Beer Boy. Let's get ready for this reunion."

When you led the way out of the study room, fingers loosely linked with his, Bradley watched his cum drip down your thighs to your knees. As far as he was concerned, his reunion with you was the only one that really mattered. 

-------------------------

You knew I was going to let them revisit the study room... Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls (The cover banner is the Jon Langston album cover!)

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