#this was a long time coming tbf
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Next up, a design commission for Dazeonae! This one really took me back to my Pirates of the Caribbean roots~ Want a commission of your very own? I have a commission waitlist! Shoot me a DM if you’re interested in being added~
#commission#commissions#leonard rousseau#dungeons & dragons#dnd#tbf my pirates of the caribbean roots haven't come up on tumblr in a long time#if at all?#but hoo boy you guys
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Believe: Kimi ni Kakeru Hashi - Episode 5 (2024)
#is now a good time to post …during a second boopening upon us all?#perhaps not#but idc 😇🥰#kimura takuya#木村拓哉#takuya kimura#believe 2024#jdrama#jdramaedit#jdramasource#jdramaflow#tsukutta#drama gifs#oh kanzaki jiro has come a long way hasn’t he? 🥲#tbf if he was 20 years younger he probably would have repeated history here all over again 🥰 (�� <- for many..perhaps contradictory reasons)
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thinking abt when i was in iran before getting femto LASIK at this insanely good eye clinic and the receptionist, without looking up, was like if ur nervous take one of these and pointed to a candy bowl full of beta blockers
#i saw the same candy bowl on like several other receptionists' tables and didn't clock it was full of tablets#anyway Irans medical care is in fact actually insane. still reeling from the fact that i got femto lasik just by calling the eye doctor#asking if he has time tmrw and he was like...yeah sure ill pop into the clinic#and also another surgery that was done like 1 or 2 days after the consultation. this isn't to say they do a rushed job#bc they are phenomenal im just baffled abt the speed of it all. ig im used to the uk where u have like...2 yr long waiting list#but tbf there are a) less qualified ppl here and b) there is def s better work life balance for medics#compared to iran#anyways#also most receptionists were like. recently graduated doctors. so theyd be on their reception shift and then when they finish that they#go straight into the clinic offices and start treating patients etc it was so sleek and fast as a process#anyway i also heard the most horrifying stories there bc this was during the protests do ppl would also come in bc like#their eyes were fucked up by gas or being beaten by the police etc etc it was rly heartbreaking sometimes
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four years for this show...
#IM SORRY. ITS JUST. IM SO. HHHHHRGN#its fine. its good. its entertaining to say the least#but from a writing perspective......#im not an anti i am the worlds biggest helluva boss enjoyer the hellaverse is SO SPECIAL TO ME#but.. the more i see about hazbin s1......#how in over four years was this what you came up with. how is the pacing this insane. how is this character treatment ok.... PLEASE#my sorta toxic trait is that as someone obsessed with media analysis; narrative devices; and story structure -#as well as just. someone who is an aspiring showrunner/creator working on my own huge projects -#is that every time i come across a movie or show that i think is done in a really lacking way. all i can think about is how i would#have done it instead#(this happens in a non-critical way too tbf if i really enjoy a book or game i'll be like they should let me make a based on film)#but hazbin. hazbin. all i have right now is 'i could fix her' in my head#I WOULD TREAT THESE CHARACTERS RIGHT I WOULD GIVE THEM THE NARRATIVE THEY DESERVE#there is. so much potential here. how is the execution so lacking#mine#good ideas!!!! good moments!!!!!!!! THE OVERALL CONSISTENT NARRATIVE IS NOT DOING SO HOT#as a side note though i really think this is why helluva is doing so much better in terms of pacing and writing. the structure of that show#is so much more accommodating to a long intricate story WHILE weaving in a billion different character stories#8 episodes for hazbin is insane season 1 needed twice as much#nyx crit tag
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my favourite part of season 5 is still the reveal that Gabriel and Tomoe thought Adrien and Kagami made the perfect pair and wanted them to be together because it completely flips their relationship
Kagami and Adrien sneaking around and finding the slightest gaps in their schedule and giving their bodyguards/parents the slip to spend time together and feeling so clever that they’ve gotten away with it their parents don’t suspect a thing
only to smashcut to Gabriel and Tomoe doing an evil pound it because their ship is canon
#miraculous ladybug#ml s5#gabriel agreste#tomoe tsurugi#adrien agreste#kagami tsurugi#it’s the illusion of free choice™#it was a very clever plan tbf like if they told them to date it would be awkward and forced. but put them in the same room together and see#what happens… let them think it was all their idea… boom success!#then the next step is saying ‘yes i only just found out you’ve been dating kagami and i have decided to give you my permission to date her-#what do you mean you broke up a month ago and your dating the baker girl who made a hat for me one time?’#on the flipside though it probably wouldn’t have worked out in the long run bc kagami likes the thrill of a secret forbidden romance like#that’s partially what drove her to felix imo so if tomoe said one day ‘it’s come to my attention you’re dating the agreste boy. i approve o#of this match and have organised a date for you two on friday.’ you Know kagami would immediately go#‘oh no.. okay um so now i’m kind of feeling that everything about him that was attractive to me before isn’t really there anymore…’#also on the flipside like looking at it on a more deeper/serious level like it just goes to show how much control tomoe and gabriel have o#er their kids to the point that they would be willing to manipulate them into a relationship and then when#the two of them tried and realised it wasn’t working. instead of admitting they don’t know their children as well as they think they do#or acknowledging that their children are actual people who have their own feelings that don’t always match their parents#or coming to terms that their children aren’t extensions of their legacy and will that they can puppet however they want#instead they say ‘okay we tried the hands off way now we’ll just have to force them’
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i started drawing to pass the time on the train and i blacked out and when i came to days later there was some kind of dorky klapollo nonsenseon my screen??
is he, you know,
#ace attorney#klapollo#klavier gavin#apollo justice#aa4#sorry about quality btw you know tumblr#my art#this is by far my favorite klapollo piece i’ve done :) it’s crazy how once you draw the same thing many times you get better at it#amazing#this started as posing/figure practice with dancing poses and i decided to klapolloize it but now i’m thinking about an au….#like what if they’re super competitive rival dancers who are just a little bit obsessed with each other#and they lose their original partners for some reason and are forced to team up but they’ve spent so long watching each other#they actually really understand and flow with the others movements and soon they’re perfect partners#and of course they’re better off working together than as opponents#and. you know. they fall in love. ofc.#brb gonna think about this for a million years#also these are not ballroom poses 😭😭 just a disclaimer#these poses are silly losers dancing like idiots (which is what i was thinking when i was drawing tbf)#maybe i’ll come back and do some real ballroom art another time#also do you like their outfits 🥺 i love the outfits
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Auditory processing issues suck SO HARD. I just spent about 1.5 hours watching the first half hour of a movie on YouTube, because I had so much trouble understanding the dialogue that I kept constantly having to go back and listen again and again and again, look up a transcript of the full film (the transcript contained mistakes, so it wasn't much help), compare and contrast various subtitle files available online, even cup my hands around my ears, etc. Just to figure out what the characters were saying to each other.
And it's not just literally understanding what words they say to each other, oh no. That's only the first step. The next step is figuring out what those characters MEAN when they say certain words. Like when a dude says "You know, I see, like, if we can get successful, it's, like, L-L, man… limos and Learjets," I feel like I'm having a stroke. I have to hit pause and sit there for a sec and ask myself a bunch of questions and do some research online.
Why did he say L-L? Why did he randomly say the initials of the two things he wants? Also, why does he specifically say 'Learjet'? When people dream of having a private jet, don't they normally say 'private jet'? I'd never heard the word Learjet before, so I had to go look it up to try to get more context, but that didn't really help. Is this a music biz reference I don't know? Is this a Canadian reference I don't know? If this happened once or twice during a movie, it would be no problem, but when I'm stopping and going back literally every two minutes, it takes for-fucking-ever to get through the film and my brain is So! Fucking! Exhausted!
I had to stop at about the half-hour mark. I felt like I was about to cry from frustration, so I quit for the night. I'll return to it in a day or two, when I've got a bit more mental energy, and try to work my way through the rest. If I can get through half an hour of film time per day (in an hour or so, however long it takes to get through that much), I can finish the movie in three days of watching. (And this is a movie I really, really WANT to see. I wouldn't waste a moment of my time struggling through it if I didn't care this much about it.)
Anyway. Sometimes when people say they "don't watch movies much", it doesn't necessarily mean they're being elitist snobs or whatever. Sometimes it's just so fucking challenging and exhausting to watch a movie that it leaves me feeling angry at my own body for being a dysfunctional piece of crap. I don't know if this counts as a "disability" and I'm not claiming that label because I don't want to step on any toes, but I have to admit that the mere prospect of watching a film often fills me with dread because it can be so intensely difficult for me (unless I just mentally check out and give up on understanding it completely, which is what I typically do when I'm watching with other people).
#please don't be harsh to me about this y'all :( i just needed to vent#i feel stupid enough already for being so incredibly fucking bad at something as simple as WATCHING A MOVIE#i don't get it? is this an autism thing? or is it an auditory-processing issue only?#tbf it's a mockumentary (hard core logo) and as i said to a friend tonight: that might be part of the problem#i think actors in mockumentaries often don't have an actual script and tend to improvise a lot of their dialogue#which is great for creating really realistic and convincing dialogue#but also often means that sentences trail off or make no sense; words are pronounced weirdly; enunciation is shit; etc.#the actors in this movie are really good in the sense that they're very realistic and it comes across basically like a real documentary#so props to them for that. but jfc. is it just me being shitty at understanding people talking?#or is it that these people do not fucking know how to project and enunciate and open their goddamn mouths when they talk?#and place emphasis in the right place in sentences? AND PRONOUNCE WORDS CORRECTLY FFS???#no i'm not being fair. and i know that. it's not fair of me to blame the actors/characters for my own difficulty understanding them.#but god this is hard for me. kind of ironic that i've studied so many foreign languages and can understand about 10 languages more or less#but i'm almost brought to tears by the challenge of trying to understand what native english speakers are saying in a normal film#there's another line where the transcript says 'as long as we can keep the fuckin' mentals fuckin' together'#but i swear he does not actually say 'mentals'. i listened to that bit so many times!!!#i even sent the link to a friend who confirmed that it didn't sound like 'mentals' to him either. more like 'mantoros' but that's not a wor#anyway i eventually just gave up on that one. i'm done for the night. i need to sleep#might delete this tmrw bc it feels stupid to get this down over literally just trying to watch a movie :( but i had to let off some steam#if anyone has a CORRECT transcript of this movie anywhere (you'll know it's correct if it does NOT include the word 'ryder') pls let me kno#that would help a lot with my future attempts at finishing it. but now i'm going to bed
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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The emotional development of me hearing about this silly little German generic murder mystery TV show thinking it was going to be hilarious and awful to crying and yelling at my screen DID MAIK REALLY CREATE CLUES FOR ROBERT TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS CHILDHOOD LOVE OF HIS LIFE SO HE WOULDN'T GO THE REST OF HIS LIFE GOING INSANE OVER WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM BY LEAVING HINTS ONLY HE WOULD UNDERSTAND BC OF THEIR ROMANCE ROBERT GO TO HIM YOU HAVE TO GO TO HIM WAIT NO FUCK HE'S DEAD I HATE EVERYTHING. Unexpected turn
#tatort#tatort: das opfer#andreas pietschmann#mark waschke#I will not go on about this but#I did get way more emotionally invested than I thought I would#I was praying into the very last moment that somebody would throw time travel or ANYTHING in there PLEASE HE CAN'T BE DEAD#if I was mesut I would've just admitted defeat like I would never be able to compete with gay dreamy andreas#just yeah sammy......I get you#it was all just a love story in the end :')#the gay crying the gay longing the gay jealousy#andreas in a spiffy leather jacket kissing other men#it had everything#also I would like to ask the germans: are you guys ok?#you alright?#bc every single thing I see coming out of that country is just#soul-crushingly devastating and depressing#maybe it's bc I only see stuff that features andreas 'sad and haunted (and now also dead)' pietschmann#tbf even if maik didn't kill himself lung cancer would've gotten him a week later I stg#that man smoked more than a protagonist in a 50's noir
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Trying and failing to make an analysis post about the oddest point my brain decided to latch onto when it's low on inspiration and an adequate level of comprehensive writing skills.
#rambles#tbf it's something i brought up in an older analysis not too long ago so it's not like i had a eureka moment#it may come off as redundant considering that most of what the analysis is about has already been covered by me#which is partly—a.k.a. mainly—why i'm stalling to finish it#i also noticed that many things i post that are focused on '12 karai tend to underperform and garner the slightest bit of traffic#so i'm desperately trying to spice it up just enough to be enthralling and not like someone's reading the same thing for the fourth time#these tags are out of control😭I'm sorry
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#i truly think i can talk forever about falin and marcilles relationship#and the complexity between them#like. the ritual. being each others first friend.#marcille having to acknowledge her views on infantilization (for more than just falin tbf)#and also having to confront the idea that everyone else is very likely to die before her#and the different maturation process of those around her (and herself)#meeting someone when theyre younger than you (both by their races maturity and actual maturity)#and having to come to the knowledge that theyre older than you. that theyll die before you.#i love how this is a theme in the series as well.#the differences in the age of maturity does cause a Lot of fucked up situations#like. im older than you but only for a time. you will die long before i will. we grew up together.#dungeon meshi spoilers#kinda
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im rereading asunder and keep having to remind myself that all these characters have french accents fml
#well. most not all. but yknow#personal#da#im only skimming tbf im working on something that has me going through Everything#hopefully i can get through it all in one go. hopefully before the stream in less than 5 hrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#im not that excited for it actually. im keen for the dav announcement and that's it. it had better be near the start#anyway. i rewatched redemption yesterday and idk why i had in my mind that it sucked#like it's not *good* but it wasnt as bad as id made it out to be since first watching it. it's just kinda *ok*#but it was a relief after spending the last week reading through talktables. god almighty im glad im done with that#i think when i get up to dai im gonna go through it in frosty#it's gonna take probably 2-3x as long as if i read the talktable. maybe even longer. but i wont lose my mind quite so much#weirdly the dao and dai talktables are about the same length (all dlc included for both) which always really surprises me#but i didnt read the full dao talktable. only for the dlc (and awakening was a CHORE). i read everything in the toolset#and i was able to do most of da2 using those spreadsheets i made of plots and conversations a few months ago. i knew those'd come in handy#the only time ive ever been glad da2 doesnt have item descriptions#ANYWAY. back to asunder. the start is interesting but rhys goes through like. anti-character development and i hate him by the end#obv that's still character development. i just really prefer when a character becomes better or at least doesnt become frustrating to read
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No effing way we’re in the timeline where the yogscast survived longer than roosterteeth. What a time to be alive
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Am I really gonna take a character whose entire childhood was on screen and also had a whole storyline about being a sperm donor and write him as a trans man? Yeah, yeah I think I'm gonna.
#sorry pals but the trans buck fic has finally entered my neverending pile of drafts#it was a long time coming tbf#long time as in the 3 weeks since I started watching the show#lmao#911#evan buckley
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kinda insane how bigotry infects everything. i still dont feel good checking out the campus lgbt group despite being a senior now bc of the passive aggressive lesbophobia i got earlier
#like refusing to hand out lesbian pins and when we’d ask theyd kinda scoff and go ‘’why do you need it? just take the rainbow’’#(but ofc incorporating the blue flag asap)#not hosting any sapphic events for a while and ignoring our voices#refusing to put up our flag in the room and when they finally did it was half assed#i remember one time we had an event and the person hosting was like ‘’haha i can make custom badges!!’’#and there was a long line for lesbian badges. bc they had none. and the person was all flustered#like ‘’oh i didnt think thered be THAT many of you…. we dont have too many buttons sorryyyyyy’’#tbf it does seem like the lesbophobes graduated and whoever took their place has been better and got the pins in and has been better#but even in the groups they held there was just unchallenged lesbophobia like one girl constantly being passive aggressive#and mocking lesbians and saying ‘’i shouldnt be here bc im a filthy man liker ig. dont comfort me i know how you REALLY feel’’#and thats not even speaking towards how rude the previous leader was to me asking for an interview for the newspaper on discord#saying i shouldnt even have to bc ‘’people can just look up what ive done on the site so are you implying i didnt do enough?’’#which tbf i got an apology for but i was already dealing w anxiety and being iced out when id try to join in#like man i hope they keep trying to do better. do better for the ppl who come after me#but it was seriously so disappointing and isolating#echoed voice
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if more than one minor event happens within a day I'm already like "damn hold the fuck on the world is moving too fast"
#tbf I have also been feeling sick all day today so I there's a reason I'm not processing anything properly#for context: mike said something on stream today that most of the fandom did NOT like#I don't even know what it was bc I didn't watch the stream today. but a lot of ppl got mad#including ppl that liked him before#I started getting flashbacks to what happened within the brazilian fandom in january tbh#and at the same time it seems twt could be blocked from Brazil entirely soon enough#because elon doesn't want to comply with our anti hate speech laws#it's been too much for me to process#I don't think anything major long-term is going to come out of either of those occurrences#mike already apologized and said he would inform himself better before saying stuff (whatever it was)#and ppl have said twt would die like. at least 4 different times already and it's still around#also even if it did die in brazil it would mostly be a minor inconvenience for me tbh#the biggest problem would be maintaining communication with mike but if push comes to shove then he at least knows my e-mail#lucasings#and my tummy still hurts 😐😑
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