#this was a little self indulgent
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it doesn't matter now | y.i.
yuuji itadori x reader (any gender)
warnings: dubcon/noncon, blood, emotional and physical abuse, emotional manipulation and mention of death.
post shibuya yandere yuuji whose psyche is so fucked up that he begins using sukuna as an excuse to abuse you. maybe the two of you were in a healthy, loving relationship. you've been his rock through and through, but the aftermath of shibuya came with these slight differences in yuuji's personality and treatment towards you. he gets angry more frequently, he's colder, a little distant. sex with him is different too— he's rougher, degrades you more often, seeks his own pleasure and often leaves you hanging. his strength only ever increases, and sex with him is more hurtful than it is pleasurable.
his lack of control over his life results in him wanting to gain more control over you— which he expresses through a myriad of purple bruises in the shapes of his fingers and bleeding bites all over your body. and even though you only ever want to help— it is clear his treatment has a negative impact on you both physically and mentally. if you try to reject his advances, try to make an excuse; he only manages to emotionally manipulate you into believing that this is what he needs. one time, he choked you so hard you almost passed out. he slaps you into silence if you cry or tell him to slow down. he doesn't recognise his own strength, of maybe he does, he just doesn't care— so it often results with a dark, blossoming bruise the size of his hand on your cheek. those bruises on your neck are too dark to hide with concealer, and you try to be patient, to communicate about how hurtful this is to you, that he's changed, but it's always the same excuse. you want to be understanding— you've loved this boy with everything in you. he used to be a ray of sunshine, your light in the darkness, untainted by the horrors of the world. a smile so bright, it erased all problems in your life.
you want to be there for him, but he's changed. him not taking a no for an answer and his emotional unavailability eventually leads to you seeking an out from the relationship.
it doesn't sit well with him, of course. he lost everyone in his life— he can't lose you either. he tries to force you back into his life, and no matter how much you fight back, he's always stronger. he only tells you that he needs you— through a flurry of forceful kisses that feel more like bites and sharp thrusts that leave you breathless and wanting to throw up. he's made you bleed one too many times. when it gets too much— you scream at him to stop, claw at his arms, kick and thrash, but he doesn't. it only fuels the fire in his veins. it reminds him of mahito, a little, how he was thrashing and crying when he was below yuuji. it fills him with a burning sensation to take out the anger of his losses on you.
and when he's done, and you're a mess of bloody bruises and tears, refusing to meet his eyes— he showers you with kisses that only make your heart race with fear. your old yuuji would never do this. and he tells you that wasn't him. that it was sukuna's influence. that he loves you and he'd never do anything bad unless he was truly provoked. he tells you sukuna has been prompting him to do this, but you know all too well the difference between your once loving boyfriend and the demon that resides inside him. but there's no one you can go to help now— nanami is dead. he would have saved you. he was like a father to you, afterall. nobara is dead too. she would have helped you— she was strong. she would beat the common sense back into yuuji. and gojo is sealed. you're afraid megumi wouldn't believe you if you told him— he's too blinded by his belief in his best friend. yuuji wasn't always like this, afterall, and at the end of the day, it's not like yuuji will let you out of his sight long enough for you to ask for help.
it doesn't matter now. yuuji will do all he can so he doesn't lose you too, and if he has to take extreme measures to keep your life under his control, he'll do it. all you can do is sit back and take it, and hope your yuuji will return to you someday.
#this was a little self indulgent#and honestly#i dont know how i suddenly got inspired#anyways#yuji itadori#yuji itadori x reader#my yuuji <3#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#yuji x reader
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hey i think something we shouldn’t bring into the new year is assigning found family members roles of regular family members based — found family are familial relations, but they don’t all fit in perfectly to the nuclear family archetypes! they’re more likely to subvert the nuclear family archetype than embrace them, just in the nature of their existence :)
#like sure do whatever you want with your blorbos#but i think it’s also important to portray found families as how they exist and function irl#this doesn’t just apply to characters but also real people and familial in nature friend groups#i am family but i am not your child your parent etc#found family#rye thoughts#this was a little self indulgent#ok maybe very self indulgent
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[Stardew Valley] felt compelled to draw some ponies..
#my art#my little pony#stardew valley#this is the definition of self-indulgent#also yes the update got me back in its clutches
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chat i dont think i can explain this one
#i wanted to do a clothes-swap with all three (yall know who) but then i ran out of juice DFGHJD#why did i learn how to draw if not to make things that are self-indulgent and caters only to me#and sometimes you wanna dress em up like little dolls DFGHJD#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#sunnysidedraws#sunnysidedoodles#sunnysidemeshi#described#id in alt text
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I have noticed a pattern & I’m guilty of all of these
#no serious art yet only scribbles#I love this godforsaken sketchbook#making self indulgent shit instead of working on actual things ❤️ yay#more gay malevolent fanart coming soon I fear#my art#malevolent#malevolent podcast#john doe malevolent#LOVE seeing john fanart going aww silly guy 😍 and then right under it the most horrific creature#its a little game in my head by now to look for which entity is on what end of the scale#lovecraftian memory cards u might say
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oh... oh the implication of Jazz being hype over Soundwave's fangs... the implication of Soundwave being self conscious over them and seeing one of his (boyfriends? queer platonic partners??) being so elated to see he has them...
(also the fact that Jazz is into fangs is so wildly in character to me)
YESYES this is what im thinking of rn
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10 years in the future for Nanako-chan
#nanako dojima#persona 4#yu narukami#ryotaro dojima#tohru adachi#a little sister... a LITTLw sister. you expect me to not fawn...? to not crumble? ok....#go on. look....... go on. GO ON!!!!! (crazed) (eye twitching) (i like these 4 and nana-chan especially)#hope you like my older design for her...#funfacts i said on twitter so i'll put on tags here:#adachi did his time in jail quick. yu's 27 and still looks the same. pretty bancho#i think nanakos signature color would change from pink to yellow. yu doesn't actually wear any yellow at all in p4g IIRC#but it is a color you associate him with the most. i want nanako to adopt that color. BUUUTTT#for self indulgent's sake she does wear pink to get yu to dote on her more. (reminds him fondly of baby nana-chan)#(AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)#oh yeah and adachi's a hag. i think his fashion is handpicked by yu probaably.#(thinking if i missed anything else) ahhhh........... nanako-chan... return for p6 or something. ok byeee!
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This California heat is gonna be the DEATH of me! 😩 I want to be on a beach in La Paz NEOW!
(Please don’t judge me on my shading. Been awhile since I’ve done male anatomy ✋🏼😔)
#tbb#star wars#the clone wars#clone troopers#clone wars#tcw fanart#tcw#lego star wars#sw fanart#star wars fanart#the bad batch#the bad batch art#clones#lego clone wars#lamiliani#for the republic#grand army of the republic#just a little drawing I did for my bestie#or maybe just a self indulged thing lol
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Was struck with a truly silly non-serious AU idea in which our resident jailed Great Sage gets befriended by a little gal sometime after Guanyin stops by to inform him of the journey.
She keeps him company until the Tang Monk arrives, by which time she’s a lil wrinkly and, since she has outlived most of the people she knows, Pilgrim Sun decides to bring her along!
Cue old lady grandma shenanigans mixed with classic jttw shenanigans wherein Pilgrim Sun will fistfight yaoguai with a grandma on his shoulders.
I like to think he calls her either great-granddaughter (zēng sūn nǚ) or little sun.
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
#KNOX ART (me)#Journey to the West (ft. Little Sun) AU#I just started thinking about Swk and kids and got feeling soft so here we are#this truly is a very silly AU#i'll probably do doodle dumps here and there for it#v self indulgent silly no-pressure thing to give myself something to draw#needed something soft so here we are#not putting in any main tags because we stay silly folks#this can be a silly lil bonus thing for people to stumble across#i am unknowable--#Knox OC: little sun
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nsfw mdni
watching jason todd work on his motorcycle be like...
jason: what?
y/n: just lookin'
jason: you look like you got something to say
y/n: [shakes head] mm-mm
jason: you sure?
y/n: ...well...
jason: tell me
y/n: mmmm... no, it's too embarrassing
jason: pfft. you? embarrassed?
y/n: perish the thought
jason: so lay it on me
y/n: oh, i'll lay something on you
jason: babe...
y/n: jaybird, i don't mean to be crass but--
jason: sweetheart, just spit it out--
y/n: i wanna suck your dick so bad
jason: ...
jason: /////// jesus christ...
~°•*~
A/N: something about a man all greased up and sweaty while working on machinery uwu
#nothing crazy just some self indulgent “reader being a little freak” core#i TRIED to turn this into a cute little blurb but it wasnt working so have this little imagine instead#~°•*andy writes#~°•*thirst#~°•*jason#~°•*dc#~°•*brainworms#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#jason todd scenarios#jason todd imagine#jason todd drabble#jason todd blurb
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💕
#ultimate imposter#Hajime hinata#Twohina#An art#Sdr2#sdr2 nagito#danganronpa 2#Okay long tag rant incoming#I got into a comment thread on ig because I was mouthing off. Dumb of me I know I keep doing this#And it woke up a nasty side in myself that I don't like. Not that I said anything undeserved#but I was getting a little too into the satisfaction of it. And if you let yourself gloat in being nasty#You're more likely to allow yourself that in other situations and imo you just shouldn't indulge yourself in that#At least I shouldn't. Its not about being self satisfied. Anyway. SUCH A TANGENT#I had a little self reflection moment when I woke up and decided to stop being angry at people in my head. Even shitty people are just peop#And idk maybe that makes sense to someone. If this comic is super nonsensical to you dwbi lol#Okay that's it. Tap mic. Thanks you. Tip your waitress.#twogami
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german words i wish existed in english
a messy and incomplete list
nachvollziehen (v.) -- to understand, but less empathetic. i.e. i see the steps that brought you to that conclusion, but i don't understand you.
doch (interj.) -- you're wrong and really it's the opposite of what you said. often said with a healthy dose of sass. i.e. "this isn't a good movie." "doch. (it is)"
frech (adj.) -- somewhere between naughty and sassy and silly. when you're being a bit of a brat, you're being frech.
dreist (adj.) -- audacious, but far more colloquial. when you have the goddamn audacity, you are dreist. i.e. to park that far over the line is dreist as hell
heimat (n.) -- home, but stronger. a home is wherever you have built a life, but heimat is where your roots are. heimat is where you feel pangs of nostalgia when you go to visit your family for christmas and see the shop at the corner.
weltschmerz (n.) -- literally 'world-pain'. the world sucks and sometimes you just sit and feel the pain of it all. that's weltschmerz.
existenzberechtigung (n.) -- the right to exist, often in a comedic context. i.e. pineapple on pizza has absolutely no existenzberechtigung.
fernweh (n.) -- literally 'far-ache'. the opposite of homesickness, the desire to go far away. i guess wanderlust is similar, but that is also a german word, and this is more painful and visceral
schweigen (v./n.) -- the act of not speaking. silence, but more deliberate. the palpable feeling that people are withholding their voice.
verschlimmbesserung (n.) -- when an update with the intention of making something better actually just made it worse. looking at you @staff
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141 as clients for sexworker reader!
//König and Nikto are here too//
MDNI
Ghost
You rarely see him, but you look forward to hearing from him. He always books multiple hours, sometimes even overnights. It's just hour after hour of pounding. Every hole you can take it. You tell him not to leave marks, but you don't really mean it. You know it. He knows it. Bitemarks and bruises are on your skin for days afterwards, he pays for you to send pictures of them healing. Thank God your regulars don't give a shit about the marks. Even if they did you wouldn't stop him from leaving them. Can't really stop him from leaving them. He asks you to wear makeup so he can fuck it off your face. You recently found out he's been stealing your fake eyelashes when they fall off, he collects them like trophies(???) Only praises you when he's felt you've earned it, which was rare. Never said I love you. Don't think he knows those words.
Gaz
Ugh, perfect client. Always a gentleman and really hot. Like "why are you hiring me when you can fuck anybody?" hot. Such a pretty dick too, has a little beauty mark on his shaft you like to kiss. He books three hours every other week just to cuddle and fuck. Really big on pleasing you, so he'll request you not to wear underwear just so he can pull your pants down as soon as you walk through his door and start eating you out. Sometimes when he really wants the "girlfriend experience" he'll slide into you while your spooning and watching Netflix. Has accidently said "I love you" once while ploughing into you, his lips pressed right up to your ear. You don't bring it up.
Price
One of the older clients. Big pussy eater. Huge. Likes to hire you to do stuff around his flat in a skirt and g-string so he can pull it to the side and eat you out while you're doing whatever he asks you to do. Watching TV? Cleaning the windows? Folding laundry? Sometimes he just straight up wants you to sit on his face, holding the skirt up so he can still see your face. When he's finally satiated, he'll get his. Sitting you on his lap and helping you bounce up and down, still in that skirt. Says I love you, but not to you. To your pussy. Literally looks at your pussy and says it.
Soap
So, so weird. Likes to act out scenes he sees in porn. Seriously. Like "help me I'm stuck in the washing machine" or "did you order a pizza with extra sausage". He'll buy outfits for the scenes; cheerleader, nurse, maid, even has a oddly realistic army uniform, right down to the boots. You get the point. One day he wanted to "try ass stuff", because he thought it "looked cool". He said I love you as soon as you stuck the tip of your strap-on in him and continues to do so every time you fuck him in the ass.
König
Yeah... Sorry to be basic but he's a bondage guy through and through. He likes to switch it up sometimes but he's mostly the dominating party. Not the kind to care about fancy shibari, really just hogties and knots that will keep you in your place. Taught you a few moves to take him down when he wants that. Wants you to use him for your pleasure when you're dominating, just like he uses you for his own. Doesn't say I love you. But he does teach you to say "I am yours" in German. So whenever he asks you a question in German, your line is always "Ja, Ich bin dein, Oberst."
Nikto
Very clingy. He was odd off rip. You were kind of uncomfortable with him because you didn't really understand him. Then he became endearing when you finally "get" him. He's sweet. Doesn't want to be alone. He'll pay anything just to have you sit next to him. Watching TV. He sits on the floor between your legs while you sit on the couch and play with his hair. He tells you lame jokes while eating whatever you wanted that day. One day you decide to tell him a corny joke too.
"We... don't think that is very funny."
Of course, he has needs. It depends on the day, but he's always changing the dynamics. Very much a switch at heart. He'll have you bent over the table while holding your jaw to look up into his eyes. Making you say thank you everytime he strokes into you. Other days he'll want to be rode while you hold him, "handsome man," you say between every kiss, "love you so much," while he whimpers under you, "you deserve to feel good." He says I love you. A lot. You say it back. Whether it's because you want to continue getting paid or you actually care about him, you're not too sure at this point.
#this ones a little self indulgent#short stuff#cod x reader#cod#cod mw2#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#ghost x reader#soap x you#johnny soap mactavish#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#johnny soap mctavish x reader#john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz x you#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick#konig x you#konig x reader#konig cod#nikto x reader#cod nikto#call of duty nikto#price x you#price x reader#captain price#soap x reader#soap cod#john price x reader
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you remind me of someone.
A while ago I read this headcannon that maybe Gliscor reminded Ingo of Emmet because of the smile. And a few days ago I realized Crobat looks awfully similar to someone else...
#submas#submas emmet#submas ingo#warden ingo#funnily enough. Golbat is actually my favorite pokemon. Gliscor is fourth. so MAYBE this is a little self indulgent LMAO#i also don't have a “future” Emmet design yet. im kinda waiting to see if he turns up in legends za#emmet#ingo#my art
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Make Me Yours
Male Yandere x Reader
Part 2: "Your One and Only"
"I just... really wanna put a collar on a cute guy."
You didn't even mean to say it out loud, but your best friend since middle school had always been super open with this sort of stuff. You've always been the first one she texts when a date goes really well, or really terribly. And a lot of your coffee meetups, like this one, devolve into her oversharing all the juicy details of her relationships.
"Oh wow." She nudged you with a grin. "Didn't know you had it in you!"
Unable to meet her eyes, you try to defend your stray thought. You remind her of some of the jerks you've dated, how their assertive and self-assured personalities had all quickly turned into a bit too aggressive and controlling. In certain situations, in controlled doses... that could lead to a nice time. But it's all fun and games until you try to explain away some of their worse moments to your coworkers and swiftly realize you're in "that kind" of relationship. You wonder if you give off some kind of energy that attracts creeps...
The thought of finding a guy who would not only let you take the reins but maybe even prefer you taking charge? It gave you a little thrill you're almost embarrassed to admit.
"Well, it's nothing to get all twisted up over." she shrugs, taking a sip of her iced latte. "You'll find the right guy that's into that kind of thing."
You smiled, she really was trying to encourage you with this, and it was oddly sweet of her.
"Oh, look!" she scooted closer to you, showing you her phone screen. "There's tons of collars you can get. You thinkin' like leather, classic S&M style? Or somethin' more cutesy?"
Maybe a little too encouraging, sometimes.
~ Somewhere very close by...~
His hands were shaking. Your words were playing on repeat in his head, drowning everything else out.
As if you weren't already perfect. He'd been so jealous of you meeting up with your friend, but if it made this conversation happen so he couldn't be too upset about it. He'd been trying to think of some way to make you his for so long... But being yours? Wearing something like that? Something that said he belonged only to you?
He was already yours. But a little proof never hurt.
. . .
It was late, and you decided to cut through the park to get home quicker. It was a pretty safe area, but you didn't want to be here any longer than you had to be. A few lights lit up the main path and you didn't see anyone else around.
But that didn't mean you were alone.
"Hey..."
You spin around to see... some guy. You'd never met him before, but he was... making A LOT of eye contact.
He was cute though. Soft, fluffy hair and piercings in his ears, his bright eyes poking out from beneath his bangs. And he had at least six inches on you, but not really an intimidating frame, a bit skinny too. The way he was looking at you was making you nervous, but you weren't sure if it was a "Oh, this is unexpected." kind of nervous or a "You're gonna end up in his basement." kind of nervous.
"You probably don't remember me but, uh...we had a few classes together last year and…"
He seemed really nervous himself, trailing off with some color in his cheeks. You tell him politely that you were sorry, but you didn't remember him.
"That's okay, uh..."
He was breathing kind of funny, his eyes still staring into yours. You asked him what he needed, hoping it would speed this along and you could leave.
He took a breath, and all you could do was stare, wondering if you should distract him and make a break for it.
"I... I've liked you. For a long time. It's like... like everything about you is just so... wonderful! Seeing you every day keeps me going! I was okay just watching but then... Sorry, sorry. I'm c-coming on too strong, I..."
He took a step towards you, moving like he was going to touch you, but you instinctively took a step back. He looked a little hurt.
"No, no please, don't be scared! I just... I thought it was the right time... I've been thinking about this for so long! I just wanted to..."
He dropped to his knees and the look in his eyes was almost...like he worshipped you. Like you were everything to him and nothing else mattered. It was a bit overwhelming...
"I heard you talking to your friend the other day. Not, uh, not in a weird way, I swear! I-it's just... It's all I can think about..."
He stared at you, a glimmer of something in his eyes. You could see a tremble in his hands, like he was debating reaching out for you again. But he was holding himself back.
Seeing him kneeling, looking up at you with a want that burned into you... It was doing something to you.
This was a weird, kinda scary, unbelievable situation. But it felt so...
Good.
You felt bold. Deciding to go for broke, you finally spoke again.
You asked him to tell you what he wanted.
You could see the tremble shoot through his frame, the smallest, quietest gasp when the your words finally registered.
"I want... I want you to look down at me, just like this! I want you to run your fingers through my hair and tell me I'm a good boy. Your good boy! I want to cuddle up to you and hear your heartbeat while you hold me, I... I want you to use me... I want you to yank my collar if I get too excited and tell me to behave."
He laughed softly at the thought, this guy was completely smitten.
"I want to be yours, if that'll make you happy..."
He reached into his back pocket, you heard the gentle clink of the collar before you saw it. It was like some kind of odd proposal, except he was down on both knees.
He held it up to you, his eyes clouded with a want that made your face feel hot.
So painfully slowly, you reached out for him, your fingers flinching back for a split second, rational thought desperately trying to break through. But despite all the reasons you could think this was completely crazy, you still wanted this.
You touched his cheek, and he didn't hesitate to lean into your hand with a contented, dreamy sigh.
The power he was giving you was... new, exciting, maybe a bit intoxicating. And he was offering it all so willingly, you wondered if this was all a dream.
"I wanna be your good boy..." His voice was soft but pleading, almost desperate. "Please..."
His smile was making your brain feel fuzzy, seeing him looking up at you like you were his whole world.
"Make me yours."
#this one's a little self-indulgent lol#male yandere#male yandere x reader#yandere x reader#male yandere oc#yandere male#yandere boy#subby yandere#wondering if I should start naming these guys and gals#so i can do part 2s with the same characters#this one's been nearly done and in my drafts for a while#job hunting is long and tiring y'all#Jacob#minty writing
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(The rest is under the readmore!)
(Next part) ->
#breaking news: local man is confronted with the fact that if he uses dumb contests as an excuse to avoid emotional vulnerability —#then his partner is going to do the exact same thing lol#also covid update: I had a bit of a relapse and have been completely stuck in bed again the last couple days#am still definitely doing better than before but remain very very fatigued#apparently changing my bedsheets was a little much for me lol#anyway thank you to the people who have sent in asks the last couple days!! I am very excited to get to them#I just had to get this self indulgent comic out of my system first lololol#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#soukoku#skk#bungou stray dogs#my art
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