#this was a harry styles smut i wrote a few years ago

[telekineticseance]

NEW EXPERIENCE

pairing: doug remer x f! reader

summary: remer convinces you to watch a specific type of movie with him

genre: smut

word count: 2120

cw: p in v, fingering, cussing, unprotected sex, i mean it's smut there's sinful things happening

You and Remer sat in the living room watching a sappy romance film that you forced him to watch. He kept making snide comments throughout the movie, talking about how cheesy it was or how something would’ve never happened in the real world causing you to roll your eyes through most of it. You and Remer were best friends and every couple of weeks during off season, you two would curl up under a blanket and watch a movie while Coop went to Jenna’s house or wherever he decided to go.

“You know, if I wanted to watch porn I would’ve put that on instead,” Remer commented, watching the screen as the couple got intimate with one another. You shushed him, eyes glued to the screen.

Remer paused for a moment before speaking up, "You wanna watch porn?" He paused the movie on the scene, turning his attention to you. "I uh...." You cleared your throat as I looked at the time, "I think I should be getting home." 

"You're not scared of porn, are you?" Remer asked as a smirk crawled upon his face. "No, I just don't watch it."

"But you have seen it before, right?" You shook your head no at him causing him to let out a dramatic gasp. You and Remer had reached that point of friendship where you told each other pretty much everything, but the one thing you refused to talk about to him was your sex life and definitely not if you watched porn or not. But just because you didn’t talk about yours, didn’t mean he didn’t occasionally tell you about his, or sometimes lack thereof.

"How do you get yourself off then?" Remer asked, adjusting his position on the couch to get a better gaze at you, looking you up and down as he does so. You felt yourself turn red, "I uh.....don't."

You glanced at the time again. "I really should be getting home." You said starting to get up, before Remer grabbed your wrist and pulled you back down. "No. Let's watch some." You paused, staring at him with a confused expression on your face. Partial disgust masking in as well. “Isn’t it weird to be watching porn with your friend?”

Remer shrugged, “Not as weird as you might think. People do it all the time.” He justified himself, shrugging. Who the fuck is watching porn with their friends? You sighed, "Okay. I'll stay, but if I get uncomfortable I’m leaving.”

He nodded at you before getting up and walking to the DVD player, putting something on. It had a pretty blonde girl and a muscular brunette man. The scene already started with the guy and the girl naked. The guy leaving kisses all over the girl's body.

You saw Remer from the corner of your eye, fixated on the screen as he took in his bottom lip between his teeth. He glanced over at you to see your reaction before turning back to the screen. You felt yourself crossing your legs as the boy's lips traveled to her pussy, and your cheeks grew red as the anticipation on the screen grew. There was no way in hell you were actually getting turned on by this. Right?

You gulped hard as the boy's lips reached their destination and then he attached his lips to her clit, feeling weirdly as invested as Remer probably was. He then began licking her all over. Suddenly, you felt a warmth start to grow down below, and you subtly squeezed your legs together, gently enough where Remer wouldn't notice.

You had never thought about getting yourself off to porn, and you definitely weren;t going to think about it now, sitting on the couch next to Doug Remer. "I see what you're doing." Remer stated as he glanced over at you, hand resting on the leg that was draped over his lap, stroking it gently.

"What?" You asked, as you felt yourself start blushing. "I know you're squeezing your legs together but touching yourself is a lot better." Remer insinuated, looking down at his dick while smirking, "Trust me."

He turned his attention back to the screen. You hadn’t even noticed that during the time of you being invested in the screen, he had pulled his pants down ever so slightly and his free hand was stroking himself, eyes glued to the screen.

You watched him very carefully as he ran his long fingers up and down his long length, his breathing was heavy. A drop of pre-cum dripped from his dick but he quickly swiped it away with his thumb. You felt yourself clench your walls together, imagining his hand being you instead. Despite not wanting to admit it, you definitely had inappropriate thoughts about Remer on occasion and sometimes even woke up in the middle of the night from having dreams about him.

A smirk grew on his face, but he never looked away from the screen. "Like what you see?" He asked. "No." You lied while blushing and looking away.

You brought your attention back to the moaning blonde girl on the screen. The brunette was now inside her and ramming himself as hard as he could into her tiny body. You couldn't help but imagine if that were Remer doing that to you.

You felt your heart rate beginning to rise higher and higher as the scene went on the tv, the thoughts still running through your head. You jolted slightly when you felt a hand pry open your legs. The same hand placed your own hand on the crotch of your pants. "Rub." Remer commanded, his green eyes turning dark. "You're clearly sexually frustrated and I can feel it from here. Believe me. It's driving me fucking insane.”

You stared back at him, very shocked at what he wanted you to do. But he just turned his head back towards the screen and continued playing with himself as if he didn't just forcefully tell you to play with yourself. You turned your head back to the screen and obeyed him, and rubbed your hand through your jeans.

After a moment, you felt jolts spark through your lower half, and you knew you needed more than just through fabric. You took a deep breath as you shakily unzipped your pants, and slipped your hand inside.

You could feel Remer watching you from the corner of his eye, and it literally took every strength in your body not to get up and attempt to run out of the house and all the way home.

You rubbed yourself over your underwear, before pushing it to the side and dipping your index finger inside. But once you did, you had no idea what to do. You weren’t lying when you told Remer you had never done this before, just occasionally read about it in those sleazy romance novels. You’ve only heard that you're supposed to stick a finger in........or something like that.

"Struggling, are we?" Remer asked chuckling at you, him now looking down at where your hand rested inside your jeans. You shook your head no in response but he rolled his eyes before lifting you onto his lap. He pulled off your pants, putting them down on the floor next to the couch. You barely had time to process that you were even sitting on his lap before you were already in your underwear.

You were about to push yourself off of him, when he placed his palm against your pussy. He began rubbing his hand up and down while pushing down on it. "Relax." He whispered softly against your ear. You couldn't help but feel his hard dick against you back. But you relaxed under his touch anyway.

"Eyes. On. Screen." Remer commanded as he noticed that you were staring at him rubbing your core. He rubbed his hand along the fabric, adding more pressure against your clit. "Look at how he is going in and out of her." He whispered against your ear.

You kept your eyes focused on the screen. "The pressure," He paused, pressing the fabric of your underwear against your entrance and started moving again. "And the pleasure she must be feeling."

He pressed against your clit, this time stopping and rubbing gentle circles in it. You let out a gentle moan in response, keeping your eyes glued to the screen. He pushed your panties aside, and you let out a gasp as his cold fingers grazed your clit.

He rubbed figure eights into it, moaning into your ear as your legs began to shake softly from the pleasure. "You have no idea how fucking hot this is." Remer said, as you felt his cock twitch against your back. "Touching you like this, while we watch two strangers fuck each other."

He pinched your clit lightly, rubbing it between his fingers. You arched your back and took in a sharp breath. "A little sensitive are we?" Remer asked chuckling.

He rubbed his index fingers along your slit. He let out the loudest, most sexiest groan as his fingers reached your entrance. "You're so fucking wet."

He dipped his finger inside you with ease, causing you to let out a moan. "Play with your boobs." He paused by pulling his finger out and dipping it back in. "It'll feel good."

With his free hand, Remer slipped off your shirt, in which to his surprise revealed you weren’t wearing a bra. You brought your hands up and placed them on your boobs, cupping them and massaging them together.

"Pinch your nipples." Remer commanded, his breathing was heavy, as he was starting to ignore the people on the screen, watching you intently. You did as he told, moaning in the process from the pleasure. He curved his finger, causing you to raise your hips slightly, letting out another moan.

"I'd like to fuck you like that." Remer whispered in your ear, the pressure of his finger going faster and harder as his head gestured to the screen. "Would you like that?"

The moans of the couple on the screen echoed in the living room, and you watched as the guy plunged his entire dick inside of the girl. "Do you wanna feel my big dick inside of you?" He added, "Do you want me to make you scream more?"

You could barely answer, this had been a new territory of feeling for you. Your breathing increased as your eyes continued being glued to the screen.

"Answer me, " He rammed his finger inside, making you scream out, "P-Please!" You weren’t entirely sure what was going on around you, everything was so cloudy and it all moved so fast, you just knew that you wanted him.

"Beg for it. Beg for me to treat you like the slut that you are." He said as he dipped his head into your neck and he started sucking and biting on your skin.

"Please fuck me Remer." You whimpered out, feeling him lap at the marks on your neck. Before you knew it, he'd pulled his finger out, and he yanked your underwear off completely. He pushed your back down on the couch and hovered over you.

"You're about to feel so good." He moaned, rubbing his dick along your clit before pushing it in. You dug your fingers into the curve of his back, pulling him closer.

He thrust in and out as the sounds of your moans, mixed with his echoed the room, along with the ones that were coming from the tv. "Fuck Y/N." He painted, while balancing himself on his forearms.

He gritted his teeth, you knew he was close from the tightening of his eyes and the buckling of his hips. "Cum for me Remer." You whispered seductively in his ear.

His thrusts grew sloppier as your hips collided together, and you knew he was gonna explode any second, you not falling far behind him.

He thrust into you, one deep and final time, feeling your stomach tighten and release. You left out a series of curse words as a wave of pleasure rippled through you, while he continued riding out his high, his thrusts getting slower as he buried his face into your neck. He let out a small groan, as you felt his breath on your neck.

Your chest rose and fell quickly, your heart rate slowly fell to normal pace, as he pulled himself out. You let your hips fall, while Remer let his body rest against yours. He shakily lifted himself up on his forearms and looked at the tv.

"Well would you look at that," He said, making your attention return back to the tv. "They're still going at it."

[watchmegetobsessed]

🔥 = smut   🌈 = readers’ favorite (with more than 1k notes)   🌷 = author’s favorite

hello there! to avoid having my masterlists getting crashed, i am now starting with the last fic i wrote in 2023! the previous posts will be available of course, only my new works will be found here!

Find my other masterlists HERE !

Now And Forever 🌷🌈— New Year’s Eve is spent with princess duties, but it’s even more torturous than usually, because the person you want to be with is in the room as well. And he also happens to be your guard.

Now And Forever (part 2) 🔥— To be eligible for the throne, you need to get married. The past few years have been dedicated to finding a king for you, but now that you’re secretly dating your guard, these attempts are a bit more complicated than before.

Good Things Take Time — Harry has been in love with Y/N since forever. Unfortunately the plan he comes up with to win her over leads her to meet the man she eventually would get engaged to…

Mad Man 🌈— You came to the game to forget about the massive fight you had with Harry a few days ago, but your alone time is soon interrupted by the man you’ve been trying to avoid.

Behind Bars 🔥--- You get stood up by your Tinder date, but at the same time you run into a man who works at the bar and seems to be into you. Or that’s what you think when you read his message he wrote to your receipt, asking you to return to the bar the next day.

Wing It --- It’s your first day working in Selma’s Home, you’re nervous enough already, but when an emergency calls your boss away and you’re left alone, the situation is topped when famous CEO Harry Styles casually strolls in.

Soft Launch --- You officially soft launch your relationship.

Make Her Regret It 🔥🌈--- Harry, your freshly divorced, insanely hot neighbor needs your help: you have to pretend to be his new girlfriend when his ex-wife comes over, however your little stunt outdoes your expectations in a lot of ways.

Even If It Takes Forever 🔥--- Harry Styles is used to get any woman he wants, everyone knows that. But when his interest shifts towards you, everything changes and he is ready to wait for you for as long as it takes, even when he finds out you’re engaged to your asshole boyfriend. Not even that ring on your finger stops him from pining after you.

[pinkhoneydrop]

Its A Game

Pt. 1

[ A/N ] - I've been working on this for a little while now and i think it's ready to be shared :) this is unedited I'll be looking for beta readers once i get more into a flow with writing here and I'll have a master list up soon as well!! ps. please request a fic i love new ideas and i don't bite!

[ Pairing ] - Harry Styles x Reader!

[ Genre ] - Smut, Fluff and future angst

[ word count ] - 1.8k

[ All Parts ]

[ Masterlist ]

///

Fucking perfect. That’s what he thought about you every time he saw you. The most perfect person in his grasp as he pushed you up against the door and his finger tried to find the knob. His nose nudging against your neck as his lips found themselves kissing past your jaw. You always smelled like coconut. And if he focused really hard, he thought you almost tasted like it too. Your lips fell on the skin above his eyebrow as he hastily opened the door. Smudges of gloss left behind on his skin and he would get a tingling sensation when he would attempt to clean it off later. Your hands were so gentle on either side of his face as he paused to look at you. The two of you were leaning against the counter of the bathroom. In the mirror he could see his own reflection. Lip gloss sweat and lust tarnished his appearance. You whimpered at the feeling of his hips pressing against your own and his eyes flickered back to you.

“Shh, quiet down darling. Don’t want them to hear us.” And as those words left his mouth Harry took your face in his hand. Rings cold on your skin and nail polish contrasted against its color. He placed a soft kiss to your bottom lip, and you let out the most sinful sound Harry thinks he’s ever heard. He hoped to God someone would walk in and spoil is secret.

Did you think the same about him?

New York City in September. You weren’t from here. You flew out in his request a few days ago and we’re leaving back home tomorrow. And in 48 hours there would be pictures of the two of you leaving a party together. Matching blown out black irises and pink faces. It didn’t matter to him if the media didn’t think you matched up to any of his other exes. Or if they thought you were better. The media didn’t even know who you were. And he like it that way. Even if he hesitated to admit he was sprung for you and wanted more. Not that you made it easy though. It might have been better you were so young birthday just passed 6 years between the two of you and you were as beautiful as the bouquet of flowers you left for him after his last show. Ready to bloom in due time. He wanted to be with you every second. You just seemed to consume his thoughts. The songs he wrote about other girls all became about you. Every fan whose gaze lingered on him a little too long made him wish they were you.

Harry had 6 minutes till he had to start the show tonight and his pointer and middle fingers were knuckle deep inside of you. His lips pressed against your neck and his other had on your thigh. Warm skin against warm skin. Heart rates rising and heat collecting in the squared off room. Your phones forgotten on the sofa in the dressing room along with your belongings. Your naivety was draped across the floor along with your shyness and the coat you were wearing earlier. 6 minutes turned into 5 then 3 then a knock was heard on the other side of the door. Reluctantly the two of you parted ways. Labored breathing and frantic hands passed in between the bodies of you both. You were ushered to your section, and he was escorted to his starting point under the stage. It would be another 4 hours 37 minutes till you would see him again in his local apartment. A humble jet justifiably luxurious flat Sequestered away off some random street far away from Manhattan.

4 hours turned into 5 minutes as your car service pulled around and let you out in front of his building. Looking up to the sky you could just make out the balcony that was his from the front of the building. Pulling your jacket closer to shielded you from the cool air you walked into the lobby. The smell of leather and cleaning products were drastically different from the usual smooth scent the area had. Your heals clicked on the polished stone tile leading into the elevator.

Shiny metal doors closed softly, and you pressed the button with a 14 on it. You sighed and looked to your left to adjust yourself in the glass mirror lined wall of the elevator. Reapplying lip-gloss and being sure your lashes looked okay. A small smack of your lips and you decided you looked cute enough. As the elevator approached the last few floors you could faintly hear music playing from the speakers. The doors opened again to his pent house on the 14th floor. It was quiet for the most part and you shrugged off your coat setting it on the table placed near the elevator.  You pulled down your skirt as you walked further into the apartment searching for Harry. Your purse brushed against your leg as you peered around corners and called out for him.

“Harry?”

“I’m out here Darling I have a surprise for you.” Harry yelled back from the patio of his flat and you followed the sound of his voice as excitement filled your belly. You smiled hard as you rounded the corner seeing candles leading to the patio where Harry was sitting waiting for you at the table. It was gorgeous nothing was out of place, and you felt like you could have cried when Harry lifted a slice of cake with a lit candle in it. His voice rang out softly as he began singing to you.

“Happy Birthday to you…” it was so sweet of him to do this for you and you nearly melted.

“You had a show tonight…how did you do all this?” you fought back tears trying not to seem to taken aback by the gesture.

“I missed you birthday so I figured we could celebrate it together just us while you’re here.” Harry was deeply upset he missed your birthday. As someone who missed you when you were in a different room it was hard being in a different state or country as you. He watched as your eyes softened at the decorations and he just wanted to sweep you up and hid you from the world. You were so perfect. The candle light bouncing off your skin and hair. The smile on your face. You looked so delicate. Just so perfect and all for him. You let you a soft laugh and grabbed his face in both hands and placed a wet kiss to his lips.

“You going to make a wish?” Harry whispered into your ear as you pulled away. His eyes caught your right before you nodded and closed them to make your wish. The wind began to pick up, and Harry placed the cake slice back on the table. As soon as his hands were free, he pulled you into him fore heads touching and neither of you said a word. Your lips fell open, just barely touching his, but not kissing. You took one glance at Harry’s eyes, and you knew your wish was going to come true. Fuck it, you thought and pulled at the collar of his top to kiss him.

“Sorry. You’re probably so tired.” You started to ground yourself and remember where you were and what happened that day. Harry didn’t want you to pull away and his lips chased after yours. His hand slipped to your back and fell on the top of your ass.

Pulling you in closer he kissed the side of your ear before speaking. The heat from the kiss made you think back to earlier in the bathroom. How much you needed him then and how much you still want him now. The feeling was mutual it seemed. Harry snuck a hand between your thighs as you leaned into him further. The tip of his finger pushing past the hem of the skirt you had on and your eyes darkened as they ventured further. Harry took his other hand and gripped your face. The fat of your cheeks dimpling around his fingers as he moved you closer, if that was even possible. The top of your outfit doing nothing to prevent him from feeling how aroused you were at his actions.

Your hands were draped across his neck and you moved one arm so your other hand could wander. Through his hair, around his neck. Down the front of his shirt and to the front of his pants. He was dressed so nicely for this little celebration, but you wanted so badly to fast forward time to see him in all his glory. Then gain you would mis doing this. Your fingers slipped past his pants and Harry pulled away from the kiss.

“Darling not out here.”

“But Harry…I need you.”

“Okay.” In a rush harry propped himself up against the table and once again pulled you into him. He took hi hands and ran them up your thighs and under your skirt. The skin burned as you watched him. Waiting for him to hurry up. The need for him spreading to the very pit of your tummy and even lower as her hooked his fingers around the underwear you had on and slipped them down your legs. And patted one of his own after you stepped out of them.

“Go on. ride my thigh.”

You like to think you’re a person who follows directions well. You lifted one leg up and harry hiked it the rest of the way up to his hip and held on to you with the other hand as well. Your skirt was bunching up around your ass and your waist the more you moved back and forth on his leg. With one hand harry put some pressure on your hips and tensed the muscles in his thigh. Normally you would never be so hasty as to make mess of his pants but it looked like the two of you were racing to see who could do it first.

“I bet you want to cum darling, don't you? Beg for it.” Harry watched as you began to fall apart on top of him.

“Please, I need it so bad.” Your voice was strained. Trying to be quiet and fight back the moans the friction was causing. Harry ate every word up and maybe it was cruel of him but he wanted more. He always wanted more of you.

“Be a good girl for me and we'll see what kind of reward I have in store for your present.” Harry knew what he was doing when he said those words to you. You were hanging on every word and both of you were getting off on it.

[arithmonym]

20 questions for 20 writers!

thanks to @accidentallyadorable for tagging me! this was fun. :3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

30! only 20 are visible from my profile, though. my older fics and drabbles are quarantined to a separate account, and a few things are posted anonymously.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

113,190 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

it’s mostly the locked tomb these days. i also have a few old works for the penumbra podcast, the magnus archives, and the adventure zone—and a few even older works for harry potter and percy jackson, but those are on ff.net so i can pretend they don’t exist.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

it’s familiar (but not too familiar) - fluffy griddlehark time travel fic. this was my first attempt at writing them and i could definitely do a better job now, but the prose still holds up.

alive, barely breathing - post-canon griddlehark first time fic that’s fucked-up and sad. sometimes i look at the comments when i want to feel good about my writing. :3

bring your hunger - post-canon griddlehark grief/relationship study. also a WIP. (honestly, this one might go on anon for a bit—it’s vulnerable in ways i don’t want to explain, and i’m shying away from writing the next chapter because the Fear of Being Known got to me a little.)

it’s not unusual - fluffy modern AU where team 69 go to a bar and play catan. palamedes has an oral fixation, because of course he does. this one is campal with background griddlehark getting-together, but i might write a sequel from harrow’s POV someday.

bad idea right? - modern AU chatfic inspired by this post by eskildit. it’s about camilla dealing with the paldulcie situationship™️ & enduring so much dyke drama thanks to the nature of her friend group. it received a podfic recently, which is fun!

(… i also want to write a camdulcie sequel for this one. i’ve been rotating the idea frequently.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

almost always. there are a few scattered comments i haven’t replied to yet, but i like responding! it’s an excuse to drop more lore about the fic and the writing process, IMO.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angiest ending?

the ace cam fic i haven’t finished yet, which will probably be posted on anon. (i feel like people are going to attack me for poor representation or something, but it’s inspired by my own experiences, so. can’t win them all. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

something sweet is pure, uncomplicated fluff, so i guess i’ll go with that!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really. i’ve blocked a few people for being rude, but i haven’t gotten hate in years.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

occasionally. i’ve only posted 4 explicit fics, but so far it’s a pretty even mix of f/f, f/m, and other.

10. Do you write crossovers?

i have a tlt/w359 fusion AU i want to pick up again! i need to untangle some threads of the metaplot, though.

(also, the first fic i published on ff.net was a harry potter/rise of the guardians crossover. yes. it was cringe. yes, it’s probably still posted on the internet if you want to find it.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, actually! a few of my old hp fics were translated into spanish or chinese.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i wrote a round-robin fic with the campal server once. i also started co-writing a fic with quinn a while ago (before we both got busy with school) that i’d like to return to at some point, because the concept still makes me vibrate with glee.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

i’m not sure that i have one, actually? i’m a multishipper to my core.

15. What's one WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have so many WIPs in my google docs that i’ll probably never finish.

i’d like to revisit my fic about necromancers & dysautonomia some day, but my writing style has changed so much since then. i might have to rewrite what i’ve posted.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i’m frequently complimented on my worldbuilding. i’m good at examining the implications of things that other people might not think about, so my plots are original even when i’m writing a fandom trope. (i can’t wait to post my harrow nova AU for this exact reason.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

sigh. pacing. i write from very close POVs, but sometimes i get too far into the character’s head, and it drags the story down. i’m trying to write sharper prose, but i’m going through an awkward growth phase as a writer—i know the structure i want, but it’s a struggle to get there concisely.

also, i over-edit instead of writing new words, which does me no favors.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i guess it depends on context? i have a pretty good grasp on code-switching from being bilingual but not quite fluent, but the memory of that one klance fic haunts me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i mentioned my first published fic earlier, but the first fic i wrote was a percy jackson self-insert fic when i was twelve.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

indelible! cam and pal figure out that dulcinea isn’t who she says she is at the fifth’s anniversary party, but it doesn’t change anything. <3

///

tagging @harrowharkwife @friendamedes @cindthia @logicbutton @thewinterstale @sluggydrabbles & anyone else who wants to participate!

[sassy-cissa]

20 questions for fic writers!

I wasn’t tagged *sad face* but decided to do this anyway. Even if no one reads, I’ll have a record.

Here are mine! (under the cut)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 111 works right now. (mostly fics and some poorly done art)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

768,637

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter!! Mostly Drarry and a couple Snape/Hermione

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

We Found Love Right Where We Are (mpreg)

The One Where Draco Loses his Mind and Gains a Boyfriend

There's No Espresso in Azkaban

Into My Heart

Regardless of desire, life hands you who you are

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I really try to, but especially when it's a fest fic I feel like I keep saying the same things over and over. Sometimes I try to go back – but truly I suck at responding.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? There are two: First: All you left me (are the whispers in the wind)  and also Then the Tears Fall  Both are MCD…so yeah

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Except for those two I'm all about the happy ending. I guess the endings I like the best are Every Hour Has Led to This and The White Dragon

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Only once. I took some real shit on a fic I wrote over 10 years ago.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Personally, I think I'm an abysmal smut writer. And it's only if a fic if I feel it works. Outside of a few things, I generally don't add smut for the sake of the rating.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

There's No Espresso in Azkaban into Korean - HERE and into German HERE

The Toad's Hollow School into

German: HERE and into Spanish: HERE

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes – a few times. I co-wrote with  @timothysboxers, and a little ficlet with @lettersbyelise and @maesterchilland. I've also done one with oldenuf2nb.  I'm always up for a collab.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Drarry – hands down. Once I found the pairing there was no turning back.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A couple. One I'm working on (sort of) and the other continues to lie dormant from 2012. If I do ever pick it up again, I'll have to really almost start over. I think my style has changed since then.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do okay at dialogue and plot. But honestly I'm a much better continuity beta (for everyone but myself)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Being overly detailed. I must keep telling myself every minute of every day does not have to be accounted for. It's my nit-picky nature that often tires me out and why things go unfinished.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't do it much. Lord knows I have enough trouble with English. On one hand it frustrates me, since I don't know what it says and if they add the translation – it distracts me. On the other hand, it's generally not enough for me to hit the back button.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. First and only!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Really…I can't pick one. The two I mentioned above for their endings come to mind. Is it cocky to say if I posted it – I actually liked it? But the one I'm most proud of was my Big Bang fic - Every Hour has Led to This.

No tags, but feel free to do it if you're of a mind.

[larry-hiatus]

Writing “Goals” for 2024

I made a list of writing goals in 2022 and 2023, so I decided to make one for this year too! (I’m putting “goals” in quotations because these are some things I would like to do, but I’m not necessarily aiming to definitely do them, if that makes sense. We’ll just see what happens!)

1. Tackle some ideas from my list - I keep adding to a list of potential fic ideas, and it’s getting long! They often get added to the list and then forgotten about, so I would love to write some of these instead of always starting fics from brand new ideas.

2. Write a long(ish) fic - This one is ehhhh, nerve wracking. I feel like I’m rubbish at longer fics (long by comparison to my normal stuff, which doesn’t usually go above 15K). I don’t have the attention span or motivation, I’m not good at plots or world building, and if it’s not PWP, I feel lost. That being said, I have ideas for longer fics, and I think it would be nice to try them out. We’ll see!

3. Write a non smut fic - As I mentioned above, non PWPs are not my strong suit. However, I usually try to make it a goal to write at least one non smut fic each year. It’s difficult for me. I was able to do it a few times this year, my favorite being my Halloween fic. I don’t always like how my non smut come out, but sometimes I have ideas that I want to write that don’t include smut. I think it can be a good challenge.

4. Finish and repost a specific old fic - Way back during One Direction’s prime, I wrote chaptered fics on Tumblr. They were well liked, and I enjoyed it! There is one fic that I really loved and never finished. I posted it on AO3 a couple of years ago, but I have since privated it. I would love to finally finish it, maybe even go back and update some of the old chapters to better reflect my writing style and abilities now, and then share it again with everyone.

5. Write for Wank Fest - In 2022, I wrote an infamous fic for Wank Fest, and I had a lot of fun. In 2023, I wanted to write for it again. I even had several ideas, but I didn’t have enough time or motivation to finish them! It would be great if I could come back to the fest this year.

6. Write a spur of the moment canon fic - 2023 was the first year that I did this, whipping out a fic in a couple of days based on an event that just happened IRL. I did it when Louis got new hand tattoos, when Harry accidentally posted his 1D shirt selfie, and with a series based on Harry’s naughty HSLOT shows. Obviously I can’t predict what will happen IRL or what will inspire me this year, but ya never know!

7. Write some fics for CSW based on past concert moments - Speaking of my HSLOT series, I had said that I might go back and write more fics for it based on older show moments, either Harry’s solo shows or even some 1D shows. I don’t have any immediate or definitive plans for that, but it’s in the back of my head!

8. Write a dark fic - This was something else that I did for the first time last year. I didn’t even understand why people would want to write or read a dark fic, but once I got into it, I loved it. I’m so proud of the fic I wrote, and I think it would be awesome if I could explore that kind of thing again.

9. Write a sequel - Yet another goal that I completed in 2023, and I’m adding it to my goal list again! I definitely have ideas, and I’ve gotten requests, so it’s definitely a possibility!

10. Use a beta more often - I never used to post fics without getting them betaed first. However, this past year, I haven’t done it as much. Part of this is because I was doing so many sudden fics that I wanted to post ASAP, but another reason is because I have a hard time taking criticism and finding a balance for what kind of betaing I want/need. I think it would be beneficial for me to try and push past that a bit!

That’s all I’ve got for now! I’ve reused some old goals, but hey, they’re good ones for me lol. We shall see what happens as the year goes on!

Going to tag some lovely writers—I would love to hear some of your goals, plans, hopes, or ideas for the year if you haven’t already posted a list! @lunarheslwt @alwaysxlarrie @larrysballetslippers @enchantedlandcoffee @hellolovers13 @zanniscaramouche @harruandlou @loveislarryislove @red-pandaaa @nooradeservedbetter @greeneyesfriedrice @hl-obsessed @beelou @28goldens @huggieshalo @justanothershadeofblue @littleohs @louieshalo @allwaswell16 @parmahamlarrie y

Feel free to say I tagged you if you want to share your writing goals too!

[amchara]

I'm a bit late with this but thanks for the tag @whenshesayshush!

How many works do you have on ao3?

71 (with an additional 10+ on ff.net, and a lot of scattered on livejournal and elsewhere on tumblr, as I am old-school)

What’s your total ao3 word count?

357,732

What fandoms do you write for?

Active: Fate: The Winx Saga, The Shadowhunter Chronicles, Shadow and Bone/Grishaverse

Past: Supernatural, Harry Potter, Gossip Girl, Star Trek (movieverse), misc smaller fandoms

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Effortless (TSC)

Trouble Seems to Follow (TSC)

Something I Need (Shadowhunters TV/TSC)

When I Go Quiet, You Say I Look Good in the Silence (TSC)

Hideaway (Fate: The Winx Saga)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! But I've really fallen behind in the last year - it's not great. But I aim to reply to most comments even if they are massively late. I feel if someone has taken the time to leave a lovely comment, I should acknowledge it.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is hard to choose because many of my stories have bittersweet endings or endings where ultimately it may end up being okay but by the current end of the fic, it's ambiguous.

In terms of longer stories, Trouble Seems to Follow leaves the main pairing in limbo, with secrets between them that are almost certainly going to have terrible consequences. Or maybe A Darkly Lit Path as the corruption arc is set up but never full explored.

Overall- it may be, You Have to Let Go, one of the Whumptober 2021 ficlets but lol, pretty much that whole series is an an angst-athon. I kill major characters, there's several possessions, some deals with demons, etc.

But I was looking through my archive and umm, yes. Many many angsty stories. The next question is going to be interesting to answer.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Heh. So the thing is, I rarely write pure fluff. Big believer in making the characters work for their happy ending! Ummm - let's go with For How Long. My fav The Last Hours pairing was not going to be canon, so I wrote them a happy ending.

Do you get hate on fics?

Nope. I've had a couple comments where commenters seemed confused on why I wrote certain characters or situations but they've never been hateful.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep! I used to write more mindfuck/hate-fuck and dub-con inhibition lowering fics but I think nowadays I tend to write smut where it's integrated as a conduit for exploring messy, intense feelings, and some good examples would be Talking Bodies and Shadow to the Light.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Very occasionally! I think the craziest one I wrote was a loooong time ago. A Black Donnellys/Supernatural crossover called Shake on Your Luck about Dean winning some luck in a poker game with a leprechaun and I had an absolute blast writing it in a folkloric, storytelling style!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A long time ago in Harry Potter, I wrote a few. More recently @belle-keys and I started a co-writing project that may or may not ever see the light of day, but it's been fun so far! I've also done some collabs on Big Bangs - most recently with @widadsadki and @skloomdumpster. I enjoy them! But wouldn't consider myself a regular co-writer.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Let's go with one of my longest-standing ships, who I've never written for but they likely inform/influence a LOT of my id when I'm writing - Eugenides/Irene from the Queen's Thief series.

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

None! I still have plans to return to all my current WIPs on Ao3, it just may take time.

What are your writing strengths?

Worldbuilding/expanding on canon. Exploring minor character backgrounds. Characters finding catharsis through challenging situations. Angsty/ambiguous endings.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Straightforward happy endings or fluff/slice of life fics. Humorous writing, I don't feel I'm often great at dialogue - sometimes it does click but I have to work at it. My writing background is journalistic so my style feels often quite 'workmanlike' and sturdy without being lyrical.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done it before but only in languages I have passing knowledge of - French and Spanish. I don't have strong feelings either way if authors do it?

First fandom you wrote for?

The second Xman movie, X2. Yes, the one that came out in 2003. Yes, I've now been writing fanfic for 20 years!

Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ooh, this is the toughest question - I think stylistically Effortless and Confluence are my best works and so they are probably my favourites. But I have a fondness for Love Letter Scorecard too!

Tagging: I think most people in FTWS fandom have done this oen so- let's go with TSC and other fandoms @themimsyborogove, @ibrushmyteeth-donttellanyone, @bookishjules @lifeofbrybooks, @jesse-is-spiralling @dontmindmyshadowhunting and anyone else who'd like to do it!

[sparrowsarus]

20 Questions for Writers

Tagged by @batrachised! Thank you friend! I am glad we are both mildly unhinged about the same 1900s Canadian author.

How many works do you have on AO3? 39.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 81,156. Which I did not realize.

What fandoms do you write for? Currently, I have written for: Stargate Atlantis (13) Harry Potter (8) Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (7) Girl Genius (5) Baldur's Gate III (3) Bob's Burgers (1) The Story Girl (1) Chronicles of Narnia (1)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Falling For The First Time (DND:HAT) Troutblight Blues (DND:HAT) Five Times Marcus Woke Up Audrey (And the One Time She does It Back) (Harry Potter) [ed.note: How???) Hearts Worth Breaking (DND:HAT) Exit Wounds (SGA)

Do you respond to comments? I try to! Sometimes it takes a while, but I do try to reply to most, if not all.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? When I Come To The End Of The Long, Long Road for sure. Though that might be my angstyist fic just in general. Though Like Two Sparrows In a Hurricane isn't exactly chipper either.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of 'em. I am a purveyor of cotton candy! It's fluff all the way down!

Do you get hate on fics? Not really? I've gotten one or two hmm comments, but I'm mostly in chill fandoms/write really niche things in unchill fandoms, so there are just less eyes in general. Which is fine by me.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have dabbled in smut. It is all very soft, very vanilla, and mostly exists as a way to practice a different way to analyze a character.

Do you write crossovers? I write random tumblr crossovers, if that counts. L.M Montgomery and C.S Lewis, BG III and DND:HAT. Things with thematic similarities, but nothing wild or cracky, alas! Thought one day, I might. One day. Because Anne Shirley, Girl Genius style Spark?? The potential!

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge?

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not a fic proper, but I'm spitballed a fair few fic ideas with other people enough where it counts, I reckon.

What’s your all time favorite ship? The HMS Dreadnought; or, Anne Shirley/Gilbert Blythe.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? It hurts me to say, but Sir Yendar and The Blue Knight. But then, you never know! I might watch The Green Knight and the words might return!

I just suspect I need to just rewrite chapter 2 entirely. I don't want to! But.

What are your writing strengths? Brevity! I get to the point. I am so good at cotton candy.

What are your writing weaknesses? Well, sometimes I am too brief and skip a lot of useful detail. I also used to have a vocabulary? No idea where it went. Maybe to Ibiza with my motivation and my brain I guess.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? If I knew any others I would possibly have more of an opinion? But as of now it's never come up.

First fandom you wrote for? Oh boy.

So many, many years ago, I was into Digimon. Like, really into Digimon. Sora was my girl. I hated Mimi because ten year old Sparrow had some weird-ass internalized misogyny she didn't pick up at home, let me tell you!

But my first fic, some twenty-five years ago, was probably Digimon, and it was probably awful. And if it wasn't Digimon, it was for Dragons of Autumn Twilight and man would baby Sparrow be devastated to know what had happened to Raistlin later on in that series. Teen Sparrow was miffed as is.

Favorite fic you’ve written? Right now? Like Two Sparrows In a Hurricane. It's certainly one of my best.

[keldjinfae]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Again, not personally tagged by @oldefashioned, but procrastination the distraction is welcome.

How many works do you have on ao3?

I have posted 21 works, though I very recently deleted one of them because I had initially put it up as an Evil Author Day offering and it's been reshaped enough since then that I felt it was time to let the old version go. Plus, I'd initially meant for it to be part one of a three-part arc, and that arc has since changed to feature a different pairing entirely, so...

What's your total ao3 word count?

477,888

What fandoms do you write for?

I'm a "one at a time" kind of writer, so right now, only Teen Wolf. In the past, under a few separate names, I've written for BtVS and Angel, HP, KH, SPN, Heroes, and I was just getting started on Inception when I had to take a break from writing.

Top five fics by kudos:

You Gotta Promise Not to Stop When I Say When (1,540)

A Little Sweet and Simple Numbing Me (487)

I'm Coming Down Fast but Don't Let Me Break You (427)

My Echo, My Shadow, and Me (401)

I'm Not Asking Questions, I'm Taking My Chances (293)

All Teen Wolf fics, and all Sterek.

Do you respond to comments?

Every single one of them. It may take me months to do so, but every comment brings me joy, and some of my most treasured fandom moments/connections have come from comment interactions.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think I have a fic that ends in angst. At the moment, Wish You Were Here might fit this bill because I've only posted the first chapter and it's about avoiding dealing with the unexpected death of a loved one. There was one I wrote for Heroes, back in the day, that was solely about Peter burning his mother alive, so yeah, that probably qualifies--it's not on AO3, though.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not so much hate, no, but every once in a while a comment might criticize a character's actions or make suggestions on how they personally would've written a scene, etc. Any outright hate I've ever received for my fics has come from a site other than AO3.

Do you write smut?

Almost exclusively. Nearly every time I'm drafting out a fic for Teen Wolf, particularly when it's Sterek, I'll have a "then sex if there's time for it" note, and Derek barges in with that determined "I'll make time" face, so...

Craziest crossover:

So... uh... the entire reason I started writing fanfic again was because I got smacked in the face with a crossover/fusion idea for Teen Wolf and Skyrim. Other than that, Teen Wolf and Fallout, Teen Wolf and Inception, Teen Wolf and Supernatural...

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Once, years ago. It wasn't the entire fic, but it was a sizeable chunk of one, and the names had been changed for the "author's" chosen pairing/fandom, but apparently they liked my wording so much that they didn't feel the need to come up with their own.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Also years ago.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes indeedy. Co-writing is one of my absolute favorite ways of writing. Co-creativity is my jam, the energy feeds me. I've written KH fic with @caseyvalhalla, and I've cowritten Teen Wolf fic with my not!wife, Anna. It is my hope to continue to do so with other people, should our visions/writing styles align. I've got one fic in particular that I think at this point is going to need a co-writer so I don't lose focus.

All time favourite ship?

Sterek. I adore many other ships, some of them hold a special place in my heart and I will always come back to read them, but Sterek is the one that gripped me over a decade ago and hasn't let me go since. Like @oldefashioned said, I think it's because I love the characters individually as much as I love them together.

Other than Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski (as well as factoring in Peter Hale with any combination of the three), there's Adam Banks/Charlie Conway, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Alanna/George Cooper, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Nathan Petrelli/Peter Petrelli, Angel(us)/Spike, Spike/Buffy, Angel(us)/Buffy, Angel(us)/Spike/Buffy (really I could've just said any combination of the three), Arthur/Eames, Fenris/Mage Female Hawke, Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Riku/Sora, and most recently Maximus/Lucy MacLean, with the added complex triad factor of Maximus/Lucy/Cooper Howard.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I still haven't actually verged into "doubt I ever will" territory yet, but two WIPs that have been begging to be finished for a while now are Wish You Were Here (Kingdom Hearts) and Light Up as If You Have a Choice (Dragon Age: Origins).

What are your writing strengths?

I don't know. Dialogue? Establishing a setting? That answer might require a survey from other people who actually bother to read my fics.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Not being able to move on until I have a scene "perfect." If I'm stuck on getting from Point A to Point B, I am mentally incapable of jumping ahead to Point C--it is Point B or Point Bust.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I tend to avoid it if the translation starts to read too much like an index, or like I'm writing a conversation twice over. However, if the other language is vital to the narrative (i.e. a character says something in a language they know the other person won't understand, etc.) then yes, I write it in that language, rather than something like, "'blah blah,' he said in Polish."

First fandom you wrote in?

The Song of the Lioness

Favorite fic you've written?

Depending on the fandom, Freaks and Fools was a Kingdom Hearts fic I co-wrote, and more recently, I'd have to say my favorite Teen Wolf fic to write is a toss-up between You Gotta Promise Not to Stop When I Say When and My Echo, My Shadow, and Me. Promise because it is just me writing myself via Stiles, wishing I had a Derek; Echo because I'd wanted to write an alternate version of season 3a for a while, and I finally got to do it, thanks to the Sterek Reverse Bang.

[girl-with-goats]

fic author interview

damn, it's tumblr games day 😂 thanks for the tag @felixantares 🫶

How many works do you have on AO3?

75! I also have uh 21 on Wattpad but in my native language!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

762,790 - damn holy shit

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

fruits of your labour

Blood in the wine

white butterflies

Red Supernova

White Supernova

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Though I usually have some delay when I have no idea what to say and I need time to process 😂 I appreciate every soul that commented anything I wrote 🫶

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Uh—

There's a few.

chamber of my bloody mind & a story I made up & Young Rivers (in your hands) probably leading the ranking 😂

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

white butterflies I suppose!

7. Do you write a cross-overs?

Not really, no! I like to keep my fav fandoms separate.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

lmfao yes, it makes me laugh now

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Uh—

Hello.

You do know me, right?

I do write smut. Fucking lots of smut. Kinky and filthy smut is kind of my specialty and I'm not ashamed of it. I even have a horny jail playlist that I recommend to everyone trying to get into the smut writing mood 😂 (again not sorry)

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, whew!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a few! I also translated some of them myself lmao the perks of being a polyglot

12. Have you co-written a fic before?

Yeah, plenty! Though they aren't posted on AO3.

13. What's your all time favourite ship?

Why are you making me choose 🥲

grindeldore, I think. there's a lot of comfort in those characters and I love them with all my might

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but think you never will?

welll there's a few I haven't finished and I don't plan coming back too but I started writing them like a decade ago (gosh) and I have different plot ideas and writing style

15. What are your writing strengths?

Plotting and worldbuilding! I also love purple prose and metaphors, man

My strengths is also converting a fic that was supposed to be short into a long fic 😂

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing, I think. I sometimes rush to the finish line too fast.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

As in inserting a dialogue in other language to a fic written for example in English? Well depends on the context, I guess. If the character isn't supposed to know the content of the conversation and doesn't understand the language, then absolutely yes, it makes total sense. Other than that, a whole dialogue isn't really justified. I get some minor phrases or words snuck here and there, but they also need to make sense—like a character speaking Spanglish or whatever.

18. What's the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, then it was Star Wars.

19. What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

SKAM! I'm participating in SKAM big bang this year, so hopefully it will be done hehehe

20. What's your favourite fic that you've written?

It's like picking a favourite child!!!!

Okay, if I really have to choose— parti pris & a story I made up.

tagging @uncannycerulean @sandervansunshine @luxuriousmalfoy @thehollowone16 <3

[crimson-tulip]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

tagged by @luthien-under-bough

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Only two. I’m a baby writer.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

Around 13k. Proof that I’m still a baby writer but I’m growing.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

House of the Dragon only. I’m considering Fringe, Harry Potter and Star Wars but not before a few months.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

what I risk to be close to you, a modern AU Daemyra (WIP)

if I killed someone for you, another modern AU Daemyra (WIP)

5. Do you respond to comments?

To every comment. I feel bad if I don’t ’cause I’m afraid people will think I don’t care about them!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

All my fic are WIP for now but I’m planning a fic that is named stages of grief in my notes. The current title tells everything.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

what I risk to be close to you will have a happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, I’ve never received any hate. Let’s pray it doesn’t happen in the future.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do. Depends on my mood and the needs of the story. I often use sex as a way for characters to physically express feelings they can’t say out loud.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not in fic. But I do crossover in rp and the craziest thing I did was a meeting between an Marvel OC working for HYDRA and a turned-human Berlioz from the Aristocats. He was teaching her french, she was teaching him russian. It was pretty fun to write.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Never.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried but it was never posted online and will never be. I’d love to try again.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Daemyra has been my obsession for two years now and I loved them before but HotD really got me obsessed. Before, I was mostly obsessed with Alt!Lincoln Lee/Fauxlivia Dunham (Fringe), Padmé/Anakin (Star Wars) and Ricardo Diaz/Laurel Lance (Arrow).

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A Daemyra fic called where our duty lies. I wrote chapter 1 a year ago and never worked on it again. But it’s still on my mind.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think my ideas are pretty great! And I try to stay focus on one or two WIPs at the time.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

English isn’t my native language and turns me in a very slow writer. And I feel like my writing style is better in french than it is in English.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Italics is fine for that. But I could put High Valyrian in a Daemyra fic someday.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Vampire Diaries.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

what I risk to be close to you for now. It may change in the future.

[en-hale-archives]

I have a very unhealthy obsession with heeseung he’s literally on my mind 24/7 I have hard thoughts about him all the time I even get distracted at work I have no idea how to stop feeling this way about him even when I try to stop I just can’t 😓 any suggestions on how to fix this?

Oh wow, you've got it bad.

Don't worry though, cause this was my EXACT same problem a little less than a year ago after I wrote my fanfic for Jake. I spent so much time researching who he was, watching videos to be able to visualize his off-screen personality, including his relationships with the members, his staff, and engenes. I imagined how close he was to his family and his dog, even though we no little to nothing about them.

And I realized I was literally falling for Jake, which scared the fuck out of me because it felt wrong to develop feelings for someone you don't know, but I had spent so much time writing about him that I was constantly enraptured with the thoughts and image of him.

I knew that wasn't a healthy feeling at all, so I spent a few weeks away from Tumblr and Enhypen, more specifically Jake, and after a few weeks, I was able to come to my senses.

What helped me to get over him pretty quick was just the realization that Jake has no idea that I exist, nor would he ever unless some movie moment somewhat happens which is very much so like a 0.000001% seeing as he; one, lives in Korea and I don't, two, is an idol, three, is an idol who can't even date due to his company's rules, four, we live two completely different lives, and the inevitable five, again, he has no idea I exist. And these are only the broader factors, there are also a hundred more that play a role in why it just would never happen. So once I was able to wrap my head around the fact that Jake was to just be a part of my imagination and someone that I could idolize/fantasize about but never pass that boundary, I was about to enter into a healthy state of mind.

I did research on this phenomenon and it's known as a parasocial relationship/interaction. It's when you form a one-sided relationship with a person on screen or on television to the point that you feel like you know them like they are your best friend (or significant other). It's different when talking about characters in a movie, but in terms of celebrities -- k-pop in general -- it's a lot different. We get to see the lives of these idols. They do v-lives where they sit and talk to us and we feel like we're there with them. They have content coming out of their asses at least twice a week, if not more, so in terms of k-pop outside of western celebrities, our parasocial relationship with them feels 10 times stronger cause we see them on a day-to-day basis in which we don't see with -- say, Justin Bieber, Shawn Mendez, or Harry Styles. We only see them when it's necessary, and maybe some social media shit, but that's it.

It's not necessarily considered "unhealthy" to have a parasocial relationship, especially if it brings you joy, relaxation, takes away that stress, burden, depression, whatever else you're feeling, and gives you something you're missing in real life, but for me, the thought of it made me cringe (lol) and I wasn't feeling relaxed, I was stress that I had taken the liking to a real person, and started considering that enjoying k-pop was becoming too much if this was the outcome.

So once I realized I didn't want to become a crazy person, a few weeks later, I was "over" him lol. and now my bias is Jay, so in the end, what was the fucking point..?

Having bias and whatnot isn't bad, nor is my decision to continue to write stories for these people that I have a liking to (a healthy liking). Realizing this puts me in a comfortable position where I'm not stressing over them. I love their music, I love their personalities, and I love being an engene. That's it. And while -- yes -- I do write smut where I'm constantly thinking of the hyungs in a sexual way, I've adapted to only considering that part of them as fantasy and nothing more.

lol, I just wrote a whole ass book but in conclusion, the best way to get "over" an idol is to just spend some time away from anything associated with them (or at least, that's what worked for me). If it gets to the point in which you think nothing can help, I'm not in the position to tell you to get some help, but probably get some help.

[havin-a-wee]

If Only She Knew

pairing: dad!harry x cheerleader!reader

word count: 4.2k

warnings: smut (fingering + unprotected sex), cheerleading position implies readers weight, 20 year age gap

hi! ive been having some really bad writers block but i wrote this and even though its def not my best work i like it enough to post it :) also, i totally didn't mean to imply the readers weight, i only realized afterwards, so im really sorry about that. also the age gap is kinda big, so if ur uncomfy with that you shouldn't read this <3

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY

“Geez watch where you’re going!”

You don’t even look up at the girl, recognizing her nasally voice easily from how annoying it is. You were nose deep in a book while walking down the school hallway, and of course your worst enemy had to be walking down the same hallway, at the same time, in the opposite direction. You are both at fault for the collision, considering Ella had her eyes locked on her instagram feed. But knowing the girl, there is no way in hell that she will take any responsibility, even though you are the one who has coffee dripping down the front of your white blouse.

Since middle school, Ella Styles has always hated you. You have never known why, but she seems to have a vendetta against you, and tries her best to make your life miserable. You never let her, always refraining from giving her the explosive reaction that she was looking for. And that makes her hate you even more.

High school is over in 2 months, and although you are going to miss the freedom of being a child, you most definitely won’t miss the people from the tiny town you’ve lived in since you were young. You’ve always been the type of person to have a small friend group, only 4 people in your circle. But that’s how you like it, because crippling social anxiety makes it difficult for you to meet new people.

“I- sorry.” You still don’t look at her, instead peeling the soaking wet top off of your stomach.

“You better be sorry.” She flips her blonde hair, ensuring that the fluffy locks hit you right in the face. You are lucky this time seeing as she didn’t take it further, because sometimes she would purposely embarrass you after small incidents such as this one.

Tears well at your waterline and you run into the nearest bathroom, pushing open the blue door and locking yourself in a stall.

After all these years of torment, Ella rarely was able to get to you. But sometimes, she does something that pushes you off the edge, leaving you with red, tear-stained cheeks. The final straw this time was her ruining your brand new shirt, the one you were anxiously waiting to debut at school.

But now there was coffee dripping down your chest and staining the bright white fabric. Your only saving grace is the cheerleading uniform in your backpack. In fact, you were walking to the locker room to change for practice, and then for the game at 6 tonight.

You had been excited for the game, knowing that Friday night games always led to parties and fun afterwards. You rarely go to parties of course, but the buzzing energy never fails to rub off on you. But now that stupid Ella had to go and mess up your day, you’re dreading seeing her smug face while she asserts her dominance as cheer captain.

You untie your top and rip it off in a haste, frustrated tears running down your face periodically. You could’ve put a jacket on and gone to the locker room, but Ella would be going there soon, and the last thing you want to do is run into her with teary eyes. She can’t know that you let her get to you.

You brush your hands down your uniform, pulling down the skimpy costume and stuffing your old clothes in your backpack. Once out of the stall, you pull your hair up into a high ponytail, reapply your lip gloss and walk back into the hallway, having already done your makeup that morning. You’re happy that it’s a home game today, because the home game uniforms are two pieces and the skirts are smaller than the ones on the away game uniforms. There is a certain someone you are looking to impress, and the way your tits spill out from the top of the outfit will most certainly help you in your mission.

It’s not like you need to impress him, because he’s shown time and time again that he finds you sexy no matter what you wear. And when he doesn’t tell you, he shows you, by pressing his hard on up against your ass after you just woke up, despite your messy hair and bare face.

However, he also loves when you tease him. And that’s exactly what you’re planning to do.

You sling your heavy backpack over one shoulder and trudge down the hallway, the old fluorescent lights practically blinding you on your journey. The locker room is dingy, smelling of cheap soap and Victoria’s Secret perfume. At least it doesn’t smell like the boys locker room, which smells like sweat and more sweat.

It's already bustling with people, your teammates scrambling to get ready in time as to not get yelled at by the coach.

“Y/N!” The familiar shout of your best friend Rose is like a breath of fresh air, and you bound over to her. She’s standing in front of your lockers, the two of you obviously picking ones next to each other. “Wait, why are you already changed?”

“The bitch spilled her coffee all over me,” you grumbled, your eyes shifting over to where Ella and her little goons are giggling.

“I keep telling you, anytime you want me to beat her up I will gladly do it.”

“Not that I doubt your abilities Rose, because I know you would have her on the ground in a heartbeat, but I can’t let you do that. She can’t know that she upsets me.” You lower your voice for the second sentence, irrationally fearing that she can hear you over the loud chatter echoing through the room.

“I still think you should let me beat her up, but you do you I guess.” Rose shrugged her shoulders and turned back to her locker, bursting out into laughter with you after a beat of silence.

The rest of the getting ready process goes smoothly, Rose distracting you from the girl side-eyeing you in the corner. Soon enough, the whole squad was in formation outside, and you have your hands on the shoulders of Rose and another girl named Bethany. You are a flyer, meaning that you’re the one who the bases support while you pose and flip in the air. Its a hard job, but you are one of only three girls on the team who is advanced enough at flying to be safe doing it in routines. One of the other three girls is Ella.

Ella is the flyer for the middle group, seeing as she is the captain. You are on the right and the other group is on the left. Luckily, Rose is a base in your group, so you feel a lot better putting your safety in the hands of someone you already trust with your life.

“ELLA! YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!” Coach Habbiths voice is piercing, her angry shrieks bouncing off your ear drums. Ella audibly huffs, displaying her frustration with the critiques she has been receiving since we learned the routine weeks ago. That’s one of the biggest problems with Ella, she believes that she's always right.

Every single practice she has done a needle instead of a scale at the end of the routine. It's aggravating for everyone, and that frustration is amplified everytime she makes the same mistake over and over. “Alright, everyone down. group 1 and group 3 take five, Ella and group 2 stay on the field.

The team obliged to her instructions, and you are brought down from the air.

“Okay Ella, I want you to watch how Y/N does the last move, because she’s actually doing it correctly.” Coach is standing in front of you now, and she emphasized the word ‘correctly’. This is much to Ella’s dismay, and much to your excitement.

Nothing brings you more joy than seeing Ella’s face when you one up her, and this time is no exception.

Aside from a few eye rolls and nasty looks, Ella corrects the move without much fuss. By now there's 15 minutes until the game, and the players have been warming up on the field for about half an hour.

“Did you see her face!” Rose tugs on your arm while you walk back to the locker room, water bottles in hand.

“I know! I should’ve taken a picture!”

“We can only hope that it knocked her ego down a peg.”

“I doubt it” Rose nodded in agreement and you continued your chatter, talking about the random things that best friends talk about.

“It’s go time ladies!” You jumped in surprise when Coach Habbiths yelling booms through the locker room, the hefty amount of metal in the room enhancing the echo.

In a blur, your entire team rushed out onto the field, the crisp air cooling your warmed skin. There was a huge crowd. probably the biggest the teams ever had. But that makes sense, because this game was against your school's biggest rival. Luckily, despite the huge crowd you were able to lock eyes with those piercing green irises you have gotten to know so well over the past couple months. Everytime you see him he gets more and more attractive, and this time is no exception.

At this point, the teams routine is muscle memory and you’re done with it before you can blink. Most people would think that being thrown in the air is memorable, but your main concern is the growing wet patch on your panties that spreads each time you squeeze your thighs together. Just the thought of the man is enough to turn you on, and now that you’re sitting on the cold metal bench your imagination has time to go wild.

The only thing that snapped you out of your daze was the eruption of appaulause from the audience, and the realization that the other cheerleaders were standing up and running towards the players. You breath out a sigh of relief, recognizing the cheering as a signal that the game has ended.

“Hey, you coming?” Rose tugs on your arm, looking down at you still on the bench.

“Um, actually I don’t feel so well, I think I’m going to go home.”

“I should’ve known. You know, one day you’re going to have to go to a party.” Rose places her hands on her hips, giving you a sarcastically annoyed stare.

“And today is not that day.” You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder, turning back to Rose for a second. “Have fun and be safe.”

“I always do.” Rose places a chaste kiss on your cheek before turning back to the gathering crowd on the turf.

Instead of heading to the sidewalk and walking home, you duck under the bleachers and walk down the gravel path, pushing open the fence that separates the field and the school. The contents of your backpack slosh around while you sway your hips as you walk. Finally, you make it to the back wall of the school, leaning your back against it and plopping your heavy backpack down by your feet.

And now you wait.

Much to your convenience, the wait this time isn’t long, only five minutes passing before you see the familiar man following the same path you did earlier.

He has a pair of brown slacks on, pressing against his waist courtesy of his black belt. A button up white shirt hides the tattoos on his stomach, but he's rolling up his sleeves as he walks over to you. He's walking with intention, hungry eyes zeroed in on you.

When he’s only steps away, you cheekily bite your lip and use your finger to push up your skirt a little bit more.

Your actions have the intended effect, his eyes blowing wide and hands grasping at your waist.

“Y’can’t do that.”

Before you have a chance to ask what he means, his lips collide with yours, his tongue slipping in only moments after the initial kiss. But as soon as he started, he pulls away.

“Y’can’t be teasing me on the field like tha’, had me hard next t’my friends.” His hand is on the wall above your head, and his other arm is wrapped around your waist pulling you into his chest. He’s panting, and you are too.

“Sorry Mr. Styles,” you push your bottom lip out in a pout, giving him the most innocent look possible. “Just wanted to wear it cause I know how much you like it.”

“Aw, my babygirl wore this f’me? Well I guess y’can be forgiven. Now let’s get t’my house before I fuck yeh right on this wall.” He places a soft kiss to your lips picking up your backpack from the floor and turning to the direction of his car.

“But it hurts!” He turns around again, giving you a sympathetic look and caressing your cheek. The rings on his fingers are cold, but you’re used to the feeling.

“I know sweet girl, but I can’t take care of yeh here, s’too risky.” He pauses for a moment, thinking of a solution to your not so little problem. “How bout I give y’my fingers in the car? Hows that sound hm?” You nod eagerly, pulling his hand down from your cheek and holding it. He takes the signal and begins walking to his car while you follow him.

You never planned to sleep with your bullies dad. But a few months ago your parents dragged you to a family friends housewarming party, and that friend happened to be a friend of Harry’s too. There were no other teenagers there, so your focus was on the attractive older man who had been checking you out since you first locked eyes, and after ending up in the upstairs bathroom together the two of you have been fucking at least twice a week. You only learned that he’s a dad when you saw him for the first time outside the party. He didn’t look the part, and you actually thought he was in his 20s until he corrected you. He’s 38, having become a parent at only 20 years old. Your relationship is a bit taboo, but you’re a mature 18 year old and you and Harry get along well. So well that your time together has developed from casual sex to a mutually exclusive relationship. (Neither of you like labels, but you’re basically boyfriend and girlfriend).

He makes you really happy, and when you have to face off against Ella, it helps knowing that you have power over her, even though she doesn’t know it.

“Did she do anything today?” Harry is walking beside you, hands still intertwined.

“Besides spilling coffee on my shirt, nothing much.” Harry sighs in frustration and squeezes your hand as a show of affection.

“M’so sorry, I wish y’didn’t ‘ave to deal with her.”

The thing about Harry and Ella is they can barely be considered family. Ella’s mom is, for lack of a better word, a bitch. She’s snobby, conceited, and rude, and those behaviors have rubbed off on Ella. Another thing that rubbed off on her was her mom’s hatred for Harry. Being young parents put strain on their already struggling relationship, and they split before Ella’s first birthday. Harry said he tried his best to make it work for Ella’s sake, but her mom was looking for someone to pay for her life, and Harry had just started working his way up as a businessman.

Now, he’s a CEO, but luckily Ella’s mom already found a new beau with plenty of money, so she didn’t come crawling back to him. However, the success Harry achieved only a few years after their breakup made her jealous, and so she instilled that anger in their daughter. So currently Ella spends most of her time with her mother, and when she is with Harry she doesn’t treat him kindly.

“It’s not your fault Harry, you don’t have to apologize for her actions.”

“I know, I jus’ hate tha’ she treats yeh like that.” He sighs again, reaching into his pocket to grab his keys. In a few more steps you’re standing outside the sleek black suv, walking around to the passenger seat and sliding in once you hear the click of the door unlocking.

You both take a few seconds to breathe, an unspoken gesture to prepare for the night's events. Harry turns to you, a sexy smirk plastered on his face. “What d’ya think about fixin’ that ache darlin?” You nod eagerly, sliding down a bit in your seat to give your legs room to spread. “Think yeh can take off y’skirt fo’me?” Your head bobs once again as you nod, hooking your fingers under the elastic waistband and shimmying out of the skirt. While you’re doing that, Harry turns the car into the deserted street, using only one hand to steer.

You toss the tiny skirt into his lap, giving him a signal without distracting his eyes from the road. He reacts immediately, his free hand coming down to squeeze your thigh. You mewl at the contact and bite down on your lip, trying to stop your hips from bucking up in search of relief. His squeezes move up your thigh, and finally his fingers press against your weeping cunt. Swiftly, he pushes your soiled panties to the side, swiping his fingers up your folds collecting your juices. You shriek and buck your hips up into his hand, but much to your dismay he removes it from between your thighs. The car comes to a stop at a red light, and Harry takes the moment to look at you, his eyes wandering your squirming body. He’s practically drooling when he places his fingers in his mouth, tasting your sweet wetness.

“Sorry pup, jus’ needed t’taste yeh.” He chuckles again, and you whine softly in desperation. In one quick motion, he dives his hand back to your pussy, pressing his thumb on your swollen clit.

“Fuck!” The pleasure shoots up your spine, goosebumps raising across your body as he rubs circles on the puffy button. “Harry- please,”

“What d’ya want puppy? Want m’fingers?”

“Yes, yes,” you breathe out, words barely comprehensible through your panting.

“Alright, alright, I gotcha.” And with that his two fingers press into you, filling your tight hole perfectly. There is no hesitation before he begins pumping the digits in and out of you and his thumb never lets up on your bundle of nerves. “Such a needy puppy, got yeh soaking f’me from out in the stands hm?” His eyes are still on the road, but you can picture the lust filled eyes that are undoubtedly on his face.

“Get so wet jus- just thinkin’ about you,” you gasp, writhing as his fingers slam in and out of you.

“Yeah? This is my cunt, m’the only one who can make yeh this wet, isn’t tha’ right?”

“Only Harry.” At your confirmation he speeds his hand up, your vision clouding with white spots as the knot building in your stomach grows tighter and tighter.

All of a sudden, he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty. “Wha-” You begin to question him but you realize that he’s pulling into his driveway. Instead of complaining, you sit up quickly and unbuckle your seatbelt, pulling your skirt back up your legs to avoid being nude on his front lawn.

As soon as you feel the little jolt your hand yanks on the handle and you hop out of the car. Your brain is fuzzy with need and all you are focused on is alleviating the aching between your thighs. You hear Harry lock the car while you're on the steps, and you turn back to ensure that he’s behind you. And sure enough, he’s hot on your trail, just as eager as you to get inside and onto his bed. Your foot is tapping on the ground anxiously, waiting for Harry to unlock the front door. After what seems like an hour, he is next to you again, fumbling with the silver keychain in his hand, eventually unlocking and pushing open the door. You both practically run inside, hands roaming each other's bodies and lips locking as you shuffle through the hall.

You disconnect breathlessly when you reach the stairs, subconsciously wrapping your hands around Harry’s neck so he can pick you up bridal style. He does so hastily, barely a second passing before he’s plopping you onto the fluffy mattress. “Finally,” he pants, hands fumbling with his belt buckle. There’s a prominent bulge in his trousers, and although you’ve seen it plenty, you are always in awe at how thick and big he is. While he’s busy removing his clothes, you are practically drooling at the sight of his bare cock, full, heavy, and dripping precome.

“Harry?”

He looks back down at you with his emerald green eyes, simultaneously dropping his recently-removed shirt on the floor. “Can I ride you?” The look he gives you is indescribable, a mixture of need, lust, cockiness, and beauty all rolled up into one.

“Whatever y’want puppy,” His hands scoop under your ass, and he lifts you up and switches your positions. Now it’s your turn to undress, and Harry makes himself busy by running his hands up and down your torso. “So gorgeous, y’know that?” You nod quickly then pull your shirt off of your head. “Most beautiful girl in the world I reckon.” You blush at the compliment, butterflies being added to the many sensations occuring in your body. You straddle his thighs, wrapping your hand around his length and tugging a few times. A loud groan rumbles through his throat, and you smile knowing you’re the one who made him feel like that. “Thought- thought yeh said y’wanted to ride me pup.”

“I do.” You keep your hand on his cock, sitting up on your knees and lining him up with your weeping cunt. All at once, your body is put at ease as his cock fills you up perfectly. He bottoms out inside of you, both of you moaning and groaning while you adjust. “So big-” Your words come out in choppy pants, the syllables being cut off by your heaves. You suck in one deep breath and move upwards, sinking back down onto him quickly. His large hands hold a tight grip on your waist, guiding you up and down his member. His lips attach to your neck, suckling on the supple skin just enough so that it doesn’t bruise.

“What a dirty little puppy you are,” he growls, eyes focusing heavily on where your bodies connect, watching himself disappear inside of you as you bounce up and down on his cock.

“Feel so full-” Tingles ricochet down every part of your body, and your legs are becoming weaker with each movement. Harry can feel your movement faltering, so his hips thrust upwards to meet yours, fucking you from underneath. “Harry!”

“I know pup, I know.” His thumb strokes your cheek and he leans in for another kiss, devouring your plump lips and swirling his tongue around yours. “So fuckin tight,” The words tumble from his mouth in a low growl, which sends the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. His cock twitches inside of you, encouraging you to muster all your energy and finish both of you off. Adrenaline kicks in and your strength returns, riding him faster and harder than before. “Let go f’me Y/N.” It only takes a few more thrusts for you to come undone, Harry’s orgasm following suit. The waves of pleasure roll through your body, and you throw your head back in ecstasy as you allow the feeling to overcome your body. Spurts of his hot cum cover your velvety walls and you ride out your orgasms together, resting your foreheads against one another.

You end up sleeping at his house, feeling safe knowing that Ella is staying with her mom today. It’s normal for you to sleep at his place, seeing as both of you are usually so tired that you pass out before you can leave. What isn’t normal is for you to be woken up in the morning by Harry’s phone ringing. Harry is a deep sleeper, and you laugh at the sight of him conked out while his ringtone blares on the nightstand just a few inches away. Carefully, you reach over his sleeping body and grab the phone, planning on hanging it up and going back to bed. However, when you saw that it was Ella calling, you changed your mind. Making a split second decision, you slide the icon to the right, holding it up to your ear.

“Hello?” Her whiney voice rings through your eardrum and you wince. Not the nicest thing to be woken up to.

“Hello,” you answer, your voice not reflecting the cocky grin that spread across your face.

“Who the hell is this!” she shrieks, and you make a mental note that she must not be a morning person.

“A friend of your dads.” Your response is once again calm and monotone, trying to stifle the laugh that is bubbling in your throat.

“Ugh! What’s your name?”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N”

[uhoh-but-yeah-alright]

2021 Writing Self-Evaluation

Thanks so much to lovely humans @haztobegood ​ @quelsentiment @disgruntledkittenface ​ @kingsofeverything ​ for tagging me to do this. I LOVE reading everyone’s and even though picking just one of anything is torture for me, I always enjoy filling these out too. <3 (which is why they get so fucking long - soz in advance!)

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 20

2. Word count posted for the year: 86,906 (a bitch! writes! short! fics!)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction, Schitt’s Creek

4. Pairings: Larry, girl!Larry, girl!Zarry, Harry/Marcel, Zouis, Harry Styles & David Rose (Schitt’s Creek), Zourry, Zourriam, Zianourry (+ Louis had a few quick goes with every other member of 1D thanks to the magic of glory holes)

5. Story with the most Kudos/Bookmarks/Comments: Going Green (so fucking green) for all three. 

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): This one is tricky, because there are a few at the tip of my tongue, but I’ll go with Going Green (so fucking green) for a few reasons. It was my first foray into PWP and kink and D/s, all of which I LOVE reading but had never felt confident enough to write. I wrote it for Wordplay, which means I only had a week to conceive and write it, and despite being in love with my brain for seeing the prompt “reduce” and going “what if: reduce, re-use, recycle but make it BDSM,” I had no idea what the hell “recycle” would actually mean in that context for quite a while, so that was a little stressful because I really didn’t want to drop the idea. And despite all that, it ended up being basically exactly what I wanted, which was immensely satisfying. And it cracked open the smut-fixated part of my brain, which has still not healed (thank God), so that’s been a lot of fun too. 

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): I have reasons I’m proud of each fic I posted this year, but in the interest of making myself answer all of these, I’ll say my most recent one, like air to me. It’s for Zouis Fest, and I’ve been so excited to write Zouis because I love them, but for whatever reason I just could not get my brain to start writing it. I also fucked up and got my (extended!) deadline confused in my head (shout out to the mods for the gentle reminder or I would have straight up missed it) and so ended up having to write the whole thing in a panic the day it was due, on my mom’s sofa bed while giving my family very vague explanations for why I couldn’t hang out that day. So, not my best work.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: I’ve been lucky to have some incredibly generous, lovely people leave really wonderful comments on all the fics I’ve posted this year (special shoutout to @littleroverlouis for being more creative and hilarious in basically every comment she leaves than I am in my actual fics), but the one that immediately sprang to mind is this one @hazzabeeforlou left back in April on a fic of mine from last year, You Saw Me Standing Alone: 

So, I read this a few nights ago and have been waiting to comment because it has continued to affect me since then. It was a full moon, you see, and the moon shines RIGHT in through my bedroom window. And every time I’d go to bed I would think of this story and how utterly raw the metaphor was and how the ending took me by surprise so much so that I teared up. I’m not being very eloquent but what I’m trying to say is, this was somehow magical and real in a way myths are, in an ancient, kind of spiritual way, a witchy way. It made me deeply uncomfortable in the best way too... like, in a way that it spoke to a truth that I like to repress in myself, tapped into such a deep tenderness and sense of being that at first this felt too vulnerable to read! I have no clue how you did all of that in such a perfectly succinct way and wove it all into a bedtime story but you DID and this is just. Masterful. Bravo darling <3

It floored me when I first read it, and it still does, honestly. Toni’s such a beautiful writer and this fic is really special to me (and among my stranger ones, so it’s definitely not for everyone) so it’s a comment that will stay with me. 

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: I feel really fortunate that writing was a thing that I mostly found fun and even joyful this year. But my Reverse Bang fic, Hold Tight, definitely didn’t come easy. I’m sure it was mostly because I’m an almost entirely short fic writer, so writing what ended up being nearly 30k was way out of my norm, and partially because I love @kingsofeverything and wanted to do her art and her prompt justice, but it was a bit like pulling teeth to get from the outline to the finished piece. I’m so glad I powered through though!

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: When the idea for Just the 2.0 of Us occurred to me, I expected it to just be a fun little piece of selfcest-adjacent filth (and it is, I hope!) but Marcel’s realizations about his motivations and desires were a total surprise that just kind of happened as I was writing.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: This conversation in Divide and Conquer That Ass in which Louis is asking Zayn for advice on how to satisfy insatiable Harry is a fun one. (It’s not smut/explicit itself, but it’s about it, so skip if you’re not interested in that.)

“Zayn,” Louis whines. “I told you I think we’re finally running out of ideas to try, though. I mean, where do you even go from a fleshlight? Oh! A vacuum hose, yeah? Suction’s the natural next step, surely.”

Rather than respond, Zayn rolls his eyes and takes a frankly disrespectfully long hit from the joint they’d been sharing. Which he pointedly does not offer back to Louis, despite the fact that Louis thinks he’s very clearly demonstrating his continued need for it.

Finally, after yet another selfish drag, Zayn deigns to reply. “Pretty sure that’d be a nightmare to clean up after, Lou.”

Louis huffs and mutters that he can just buy a new hose each time if need be, but he knows Zayn’s right. It was a ridiculous idea. But desperate times and all that.

“Well tell me then, genius, what does come after fleshlight?”

“Flesh.”

Louis rolls his eyes at Zayn’s infuriating deadpan. “Were you not paying attention to my TMI soliloquy? We’ve tried both of our fleshes in all the ways. Hands ’round, fingers in. I mean I s’pose we haven’t tried feet fucking, but honestly I don’t know that I’d be able to figure out those angles–”

Zayn’s dry laugh interrupts him and Louis looks up to find him shaking his head, a look of endeared disbelief colouring his gorgeous face. “Not more of your flesh, you tosser. I meant like, an actual other human’s...orifice. Like, the thing a fleshlight is meant to mimic? Just get another cock and another arsehole involved. Then one of you can get proper fucked while fucking the other.”

Louis blanches and immediately dismisses the idea, demanding the joint back as Zayn shrugs.

“Whatever, mate, just offering advice. But if you’d rather try YouTube tutorials on contortionist foot fucking, suit yourself. I mean, you were ready to have your man hoover himself while you fuck him, so I figured you might be open to something as time honored as a threesome. Forgot how you two are about sharing.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: It feels a little shallow or silly to center this answer entirely around smut, but it also feels the most true. Before this year, I had barely written any smut, and starting mid-2021 with the second week of wordplay, I basically couldn’t stop. And I’ve had an absolute blast, which has been a delightful surprise. I think the reason it feels like actual growth is that my hesitance before was based entirely on insecurity (as a writer and also because, despite always having wanted to be a Blanche or a Samantha in real life, I’m pretty square when it comes to sex LOL), so leaning into this newfound aspect of fic writing just felt really liberating and fucking FUN. And that’s the whole point, right?

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I want to say I hope to manage my time/fest deadlines better so that I’m not always scrambling and also so that I can actually allow time for a more substantive beta-ing/editing experience, but that’s just not how my brain functions. Never has, and I’m pretty sure without a diagnosis and medication, it never will. So, that feels out. 

I’d love to explore poly relationships and also try for at least one long(ish) fic, possibly together. And although I always want to be the kind of writer who can creates a vivid atmosphere, that definitely doesn’t come naturally to me, so that’d be cool to try to pull off. 

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): @a-brighter-yellow has literally never responded to any idea of mine - no matter how absurd or idiotic - with anything other than immediate and enthusiastic support, and when I’m wavering between two ideas, she always encourages the more ridiculous one (see, e.g., doG...and his friend), and I’m always grateful that she’s nudged me that way. She’s a huge part of why I ended up writing so many fics this year and having so much fun with them. <33

(Also, The Hids - and by extension the @motorboatrryfest2021 ​- which are responsible for a full quarter+ of my fics this year)

And, I will never be a “big” writer in this fandom, but there are a handful of extremely kind people whose consistent and enthusiastic comments make me feel like I am. And as a pitifully needy asshole who craves affirmation, those people (whom I want to list, but am terrified I’d accidentally leave someone out, so I’ll just hope they know who they are) are truly a huge part of why I keep writing fic. 

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: The first half of Knock Knockers! Who's There? is literally just me with my partner, poor guy. 

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Lulz, as if I have wisdom. I guess just: unless you’re trying to become a professional writer, this is just supposed to be fun. It’s a hobby! That doesn’t mean every moment can be fun or even enjoyable, but try out different styles and methods and word counts and genres and pairings until you find which combination(s) make it all more fun than not for you specifically. 

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I really wanted to do a 12 Days of XXXMas thing this year, and started planning it out, but just ran out of time/energy this month. So I’m already excited to do that next year. But in the more immediate future, I’m psyched for my Harry/Tim Riggins fic for @harryrarepairfest and to maybe pull something off for @1dpolyficfest!

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. I fucking LOVE reading these, so if you haven’t been tagged and want to do it, please consider this your tag. And @ me when you do it so I see! Plus I’ll tag 18 specifically: @a-brighter-yellow @berzerkshires @absoloutenonsense @homosociallyyours @wabadabadaba @beelou @littleroverlouis @jacaranda-bloom @louandhazaf @allwaswell16 @lululawrence @londonfoginacup @evilovesyou @vintageumbroshirt @nevergooutofstiles @thelesserneptune @phd-mama   

[roonilwazlibimagines]

fics inspired by songs

so here is a list of all of the fics i have written with a song that inspired me to write it and i will include a little blurb about how/why it inspired me as well just because i can. no one asked for this but i did it anyways

j.p x female reader - music with your dad | song by nasty cherry | smut + best friend's dad

I love nasty cherry and i love this song, i listened to this song in the shower not that long ago for the first time in a while and the idea came to me. i wrote this after having not written smut for months so it felt awkward but still fun

r.b x female reader - architecture | song by maisie peters | angst

this song was the song that made me fall in love with maisie peters and i wrote this pretty much immediately after i listened to it because i loved it so much and for some reason it made me think of regulus. i wrote this a while ago when i was still at school and not writing often, i wrote like a paragraph a night on my phone, so it's not really my best, but i tried

r.b x female reader x s.b - ivy | song by taylor swift | angst + cheating

i wrote this and i loved it and then i read it and i hated it because i spent so much time on it and it still wasn't perfect, but then i read it a few months after and didn't hate it. i think it has its ups and downs, but i love this song and i guess i love this fic

s.b x female reader - worst of you | song by maisie peters | angst + toxic relationship

i had this idea not long after architecture because i started listening to all of maisie peters' songs and just couldn't help but think of sirius. i did write this after a bit of a writing slump so it was good to get me back into the flow of things but i fear i took it a little too literal

s.b x female reader - betty | song by taylor swift | angst + fluff

i could talk about this song and this fic forever, i wrote this when i was trying to get over a boy and i didn't know how our relationship would end so i left the ending open-ended, i found it like a year later with the knowledge that i no longer speak to this boy and finished it how i wanted our relationship to finish. it has a special place in my heart

r.l & s.b - she's an angel | song by harry styles | smut

this isn't based on only angel by harry styles, but when i was thinking of a title i was like !!! and so i feel like it could kinda based on it just based on vibes

s.b - she | song by harry styles | angst

kinda a part 1/first draft to betty, betty is what i wanted this to be but i didn't spend enough time on it. it wasn't at all based on the song by harry styles, but like it totally kinda could be and just coincidentally has the same name

g.w - don't say you love me | song by transviolet | angst + fuck buddies

this is actually one of my most favourite things i've ever written. i love it a lot even though it is set in their last year of hogwarts and i don't really do that anymore. but i put so much effort into it and i feel like it really paid off. i also made a playlist for it which is on the post

c.d - all too well | song by taylor swift | angst

i actually started writing this like a week after red tv came out and i updated like mid-end 2023. i edited it like heavily 5 times but now i never want to read it again so i just published it to get it out of my drafts lmao

fics i would like to pretend don't exist

f.w x female reader - sweater weather | song by the neighborhood | fluff

i had never listened to this song until someone requested it, i probably would have been like 13 when i wrote this and i hate it because i really just based it off the lyrics and not vibes but i'm sentimental and will never delete it

s.b x female reader - makeup | song by ariana grande | smut

this was one of my first attempt at writing smut and i cringe really hard, but i am sentimental and will once again, never get rid of it

j.s.p - absolutely smitten | song by dodie | fluff + my very first attempt at smut

this was my very first attempt at smut and that is all i have to say to get my point across. it's only really brief in the last part, and i feel like without it i wouldn't hate it as much. but i'm really glad someone requested this because it introduced me to dodie and i've never been the same

[larrydoinglaundry]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

Thank you @larrysballetslippers  for tagging me.

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 4

2. Word count posted for the year: 136552

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: This Chemistry Like Candy to Me

Bookmarks: This Chemistry Like Candy to Me

Comments: This Chemistry Like Candy to Me

More under the cut.

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

You were a beam of light, lit up my broken sky, let's call it You were a beam of light now lmao. It was my first long fic for this fandom and I was, and still am, proud of how I wrote kink exploration and Louis' progress as a dom. I think they have a really healthy relationship.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):  Noooo don't want to do this. I'm proud of each work for different reasons and I'm very attached to them all.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I need to share two! These ones, as well as all my favorite reviews, is for You were a beam of light. People seem to love the way h&l communicate and support each other and that's all I wanted - to show a healthy relationship where you can be exactly who you are.

Oh my, i love it so much. As in. You dont know how much this affected me haha. I dont even know how to explain myself without sounding like an idiot hahahaha but damn it this fic is definitely going to my top fave fics. Its so well written and well done. Fluff? Chefs kiss, The communication? Chefs kiss, smut? CHEFS FCKING KISS!!!! You just raise the fcking bar for any fic that has bdsm for me hahahaha also i know I already commented it but you made me realized what kind of kinks i might have hahaha ya wann know the top of my kink? COMMUNICATION!!! So many problems/arguments solved by talking and listening. AHHHHHKKKKK thank you for this, hope you are having a fcking good day!!!!

Another one here, not the entire comment because it was long.

 I LOVED the scene where Louis went to go visit Harry at work (*blushes* and also the wedding escapade + Harry being Louis good girl). I really appreciated that you chose to make Harry non-binary and it was lovely to see the conversation between him and Louis. It was very sweet to see Louis support Harry in that moment and in the story overall. On that topic, I loved seeing how you made Harry and Louis a supportive unit for each other. Like they were so good at communicating with each other throughout and even when they sometimes weren’t (like with the caning) they were able to get to that point where they could talk things out. I can tell you put a lot of effort on developing the characters (Harry and Louis ex, their friends, etc

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

A really devastating period not too long ago when I was writing a fic I haven't yet published while trying to also make progress with my thesis. I think I mentioned before that writing just got to a point where it wasn't fun. I forced myself to write instead of giving up but I definitely did it while sobbing uncontrollably in frustration over my own "poorly told story", grammar and boring plots lol.

I got over it, lmao. I love my current work more than I've ever loved any of my works. Thank you Cait for being the best person ever and being so patient. Your very necessary yet gentle criticism has been vital.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Figging scene in You were a beam of light🙈 It wasn't part of the original plan haha.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Hmm! There are so many in my not yet published work.

But if I'm thinking about published works,,, my most recent Christmas fic had some themes that have touched me more or less personally, so I'll choose this;

“These past few weeks that you’ve lived here, every time I get home from an early shift, you’re outside playing with Alex. Paying attention and being present, unlike lots of other people," Louis explains, stroking Harry's leg with his thumb, "You involve him when you bake, you purr when you breastfeed him. I can see how much you love being a mother and you being tired, feeling excited about getting to spend some time away from him or you not being able to buy a kitchen set for him does not make you a bad mother.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

Oh, wow. Uh. Writing wise,,, Grammar. It has gotten so much better. Maybe narratating, too? I don't know, my works feel richer in many ways. I'm still very critical of my works but I think certain emotions come across better. The smut is fire, in my opinion at least lmao.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

To further broaden my vocabulary, my narratating skills and my story planning skills. I want to be able to further enrich my dialogues.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

My beta for long fics aka Cait @stylesthebrave ❤️ I also absolutely love how much excitement Mia @brightgolden has shown for my upcoming work haha.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year?

Yes but I don't want to elaborate 🙃 Keep on guessing!

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

I don't think I'm the right person to share any wisdom😭 But I mean,,,

Take a breath. Relax. It's okay.

Writing can be frustrating for many reasons. Maybe your writing doesn't meet your own expectations. Maybe you don't get the amount of kudos you wish, or as many reviews as you think you'd deserve. Don't base your writing joy on something that comes from the outside. Base it on what comes from the inside. Write because you want to, not because you feel like you have to. Inner motivation is much more powerful than outer.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

My Silver Fox aka Actor Louis fic !! It's so close to being finished. Gas me up guys, gals and non-binary pals so I get the mighty force and motivation to finish it😭

Also excited for writing Girl direction for the first time! Love me some tender girl on girl love. With a twist though - it's ABO. So excited to see what I can do with that verse with F/F.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

Who has done this already? I don't know💀

@stylesthebrave @brightgolden @jacaranda-bloom @hershelsue @neondiamond @larry-hiatus @absoloutenonsense