#this was A Ride

[avidstarling]

This show is a little silly

[agarafile]

i think i need to go and lay down for a minute

[gulliesforever]

jake and amir wrote a christmas party episode and it's absolutely bonkers insane here's my best attempt at transcribing the draft !!! : D

Jake and Amir: Christmas Party Draft

[JAKE IS WORKING IN THE OFFICE IN THE MORNING. AMIR WALKS INTO FRAME IN A BRIDAL GOWN]

AMIR: Here comes the queef, here comes the queef! [PLOPS DOWN AT DESK]

JAKE: Okay, everybody, he's NOT DEAD.

EVERYBODY IN THE OFFICE: Boo!

AMIR: They hate me, they reaaaallly hate me. [HIS MASCARA IS RUNNING]

JAKE: Yeah, they do. And I think they have every right to, don't you?

AMIR: Ah [VAGUELY OFFENDED]!

JAKE: You threw a molotov cocktail on the dance floor at the holiday party last night.

AMIR: When? Psh- When!

JAKE: LAST NIGHT!

AMIR: So then SAY THAT. Say when. You can't just say 'you threw a molotov cocktail', that could have been fucking four years ago. You don't know when or where- 

JAKE: I said WHEN and I said WHERE!

AMIR: Meaning?

JAKE: Meaning I said both those things, and also it shouldn't matter. You shouldn't be throwing molotov cocktails now or four years ago, right?!

AMIR: [IN A VAGUELY BAD SOUTHERN ACCENT] I did what I had to do, and I wouldn't change a goddamn thing.

JAKE: Really? You wouldn't change walking into the IAC holiday party dressed as Santa Claus from the waist up and completely nude from the waist down, singing, as you just recently did, 'here comes the queef, here comes the queef'?

AMIR: You're a mean one, mistah queef.

JAKE: You emitted a very high-pitched queef, which got a smattering of applause and some chuckles... which is, admittedly, much more than it deserved. People were trying to smooth over the awkwardness.

AMIR: They were impressed! That I was dressed to impress!

JAKE: You were undressed to depress.

AMIR: OH! Are you going stag to the holiday party? Are you like, bringing a-

JAKE: It was LAST NIGHT. It already happened! You tried to ruin it, you showed up naked, you're a mean one mister gr- mister queef, molotov cocktail.

AMIR: I feel like if Sarah or Dan did this, nobody would care, but for me they're not granting me the benefit of the doubt in some weird fucked up way 'cause I'm like, a known to be loose canon guy! How's that fair?!

JAKE: It's almost like you have a history of doing this fucked up shit.

AMIR: Yeeeaah, exactly right!

JAKE: That is one of the reasons why people do have less patience with you. It's entirely fair. And- And even if that was your first time offense, immediately after you said 'I'm going to spike the punch!' and stole a football from Gronk who was there as a favor to our boss and spiked it into the holiday punch bowl. Everyone got wet, everyone got stained. That was when you butt-chugged a bottle of champagne, filled it up with gasoline that you also had, and then you started singing Prodigy's 'I'm a Fire Starter'. You grabbed Barry Diller by the necktie and shoved it inside the bottle of Veuve Clicquot and you said 'It's time that we go!' We lost you for half and hour, I guess you crashed a wedding-

AMIR: What gave you that idea?

JAKE: [POINTS AT AMIR'S BRIDAL OUTFIT]

AMIR: Oh, right. I thought that was a thinly VEILED reference [HE IS WEARING A VEIL]

JAKE: ... What's wrong with you, man.

AMIR: [QUEEFS] 

JAKE: When we found you, Mariah Carey's 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' came on, but you changed the words to 'All I Want For Christmas is Jews'. And you said "oh shit, my parents are home!" and called the cops - then two male strippers - dressed as Rabbis - instantly walked in. I guess you hired them ahead of time. They started taking off their Tallits (?) in a sexy way.

AMIR: I thought they were born to run!

JAKE: What does that mean?!

AMIR: It's a THINLY VEILED REFERENCE.

JAKE: To Bruce Springsteen?!

AMIR: YEAH!

JAKE: Right. Because that WAS who the third stripper that showed up was impersonating. Where the fuck did you hire these guys?! Every time you spoke a stripper or two sprinted onto the dance floor ALREADY NAKED from the neck down. Finally, there were so many of them and the dance floor was covered with kerosene and champagne from your butt-chugging and molotov cocktailing that they started that they started slipping and sliding each other. The biggest most muscular one slid with both of his legs in the air and hit the ground with a sickening thud. I think he snapped his neck, he was killed on impact. Does that sound at all familiar?!

AMIR: Uhh. Bits and pieces. I do remember going stag. And I had had a vodka soda, so the details are hazy.

JAKE: A man died in front of you. Is that hazy? You tried to light the building on fire. Is that unclear?

AMIR: Yeah, yeah, it sounds familiar but I bet you're not even going to ask me what I got you for Christmas.

JAKE: I ALREADY KNOW. It was 48 male strippers who you tried to get to give me a dance! You pulled up a chair with a giant dildo strapped to it and tried to get me to sit down! Finally - I don't know how you convinced everyone else at the party - but they forced me on to it. I sat on the dildo chair. Is that what you wanted?

AMIR: [ANOTHER QUEEF]

JAKE: Got it. Where the fuck did you get the bridal costume.

AMIR: I guess you could say I crashed a wedding last night. That whole dance party thing was the borderline lead up to what ended up being a pretty epic night.

[THERE ARE SIRENS IN THE DISTANCE]

AMIR: Ah, shit, here we go.

[A GUY ENTERS]

GUY: There he is! There's the guy that stole... MY HEART! [STARTS DANCING AND STRIPPING]

JAKE: Is that- Is this another one of your strippers?!

AMIR: No, I think he's just taking a moment to express himself!

[THE WIFE OF THE GUY COMES IN WEARING THE SAME OUTFIT AMIR WORE LAST NIGHT]

WIFE: Last night was the fucking night of my life thanks to that man!

AMIR: Merry Christmas to ALL! And to all a good wife!

[THEY ALL LOOK IN THE DISTANCE AND SEE SANTA'S SLEIGH FLYING OVER A CHURCH ON FIRE]

SANTA, IN THE DISTANCE: HO HO HO

OTHER JOKES THAT DONT FIT IN THE STORY BUT DESERVE RECOGNITION:

>  Turns out the guy IS the 19th stripper, and he goes 'And I think you've been a bad boy' [POINTING TO JAKE, AND HE BRINGS OUT THE CHAIR WHICH IS BLURRED] SLGSLDKGMSDG

> AMIR: It go down in my BMs. It go down in my BMs. 

JAKE: That is what you said as you tried to shit on to the buffet! Your pink sock came out! Everyone saw your colon!

AMIR: I WAS PRAIRIE DOGGING

JAKE: It was MORE than prairie dogging! You have an ulcer! A doctor said you had to get it looked at!

AMIR: My insides were out that night, yeah! That's my Christmas stocking! And actually, could you stuff her? Back inside of me?

COMMENT: This is too much, too blue. What makes it in is usually much tamer. 

[borreloadsavagedragon]

8 and 12 for the ask meme 👀

oh my god I reblogged that ask game knowing I am not a mean person AT ALL, so this is gonna push me to my LIMITS

(if you stand by anything in here, you’re cool as hell and I'm glad you interact with media, I am simply over sharing about fictional card game nerds like always!!!)

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

I had to sit and stare at this one forever to come up with one because I am just so in my own little corner that I never really notice other people's interpretations of characters, like I have my bachelors and ph.d. in the ones that matter and I write my silly little fanfics using my deranged thinking, that's it, roll credits

BUT there is one thing I've seen a few times now across a couple of months in random liveblogs or opinion pieces that I kind of wanna touch on it

And that's that Kaito wasn't held accountable in Zexal.

I think a topic like accountability and atonement in fiction is going to differ very strongly between person to person and what they feel is the proper amount of justice to someone given their crimes, I understand that, but I just want to throw my own hat in the ring for why I disagree respectfully but wholeheartedly

Here's where I write about it in my analysis(WHICH IS 8K+ RN AND STILL GOING, GOD HELP ME)

"This is one I’ve seen a few times and I wanted to make an entire separate point for it because I do think it's a very interesting conversation to have in regards to the moral playground that a lot of the YuGiOh rivals in general have(with Ryoken Kogami from YuGiOh Vrains sitting as the reigning king in the topic of questionable ethics by some fans, but he’s another character study for another day), but the focus isn’t where I think it should be. I think it’s more fascinating that Kaito’s the character I see called out the most for his work as a Number Hunter compared to other fan favorites in the cast, especially when all we saw from Kaito since his actions in "The Seized Emperor's Key! Showdown, Kaito vs Shark" was his own form of accountability. We’ve known since the very scene following his introduction as the primary antagonist for the first half of Zexal I, Kaito despises the job and his employers based on how he can’t even look Mr. Heartland in the eye when he reports his progress and how his eyes drop to the floor when the premise of taking souls is brought up. He has a special distaste for those with Numbers because of what he was led to believe since we also learn later on he’s been fed almost nothing but lies about the Numbers so the times Kaito might have become far more conflicted with his circumstances sooner were always ripped away from him. In his mind, he's trapped and following orders is his best option right now, but if it means the only thing that matters most to him, his little brother, is ok, then he'll be the worst person in the world. And that's just the explanation for why he did it all. Because even with the truth, he doesn't excuse it.

Following Zexal I, Kaito continues to involve himself with the struggle against the Barians, and while most of it is with the understanding he's avenging the damage done to his family, it’s also in part avenging the damage he did to Yuma, Ryouga, and the many other people he’s laid a hand on. The idea that a character or a person needs to wear their guilt and redemption on their sleeve at every second is unreasonable. I also think it’s important to recognize that atonement isn’t just justice or forgiveness; Kaito, for example, never once asks for forgiveness, nor apologizes verbally. Instead, he shows up. He's there when he has to be and does exactly what he needs to do, because his actions are going to be worth more than his words are going to be. Kaito has always been and is always going to be someone who is going to act, not speak. Zexal I Kaito isn’t showing up to help handle the gang in the first few episodes of Zexal II. Zexal I Kaito isn’t taking Yuma’s place against Mizael in the duel in the sphere field. While Kaito continues to have alternate and additional motivation for his own newfound focus, he does not do these things for his ambition’s sake only.  Anytime accountability and Kaito’s treatment of his allies is brought up, I think it’s also very telling when some things are excluded, like how he pivots the entire project with Chris in the Arctic into getting Yuma sent to Astral World instead of them in order to reunite with Astral is largely overlooked. Another example is his complete turnaround behavior towards Gauche and Droite both in Spartan City, going as far to recognize how strong of a duelist and person Droite is when Gauche is possessed by Alito and that Droite is the only person suited for that duel despite him being seemingly such an asshole towards her in Zexal I. Hell, Kaito’s treatment of Ryouga is far different in one half to another, he goes from reducing Ryouga down to a waste of his time and just another punk who wants a piece of him to respecting him in his own weird little way where he has to pick a fight with him. We've all seen Zexal I, we've seen how Kaito truly treats people he doesn't like. --- I like to look at Kaito through the lens of rejection because loneliness is such a key portion of his character. I feel like focusing on those wrongs doubles down on the theme that’s in place. Kaito has hurt people. But he recognizes that, verbalizes it when he calls himself hell bound even, so he will continue to do better by those people."

THIS IS WHY IM HIS BIGGEST APOLOGIST

I just think he's so interesting, I wanna talk about him being a piece of shit because he IS, how mean he was to Yuma in I says a lot, but he's not THAT much of a piece of shit by the end, his development isn't overwhelmingly apparent, much like most rivals in the franchise, but it's VERY there

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

SPECTRE!!!!! I LITERALLY HAVE PIECES FOR HIS WIG AND HAVE HAD THEM FOR A YEAR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

I was AMAZED once to find out that people didn’t like Spectre because Spectre is so standout and fascinating. I HATE how he's boiled down to being creepy or "what happened to Aoi in their duel"-

Before it plummeted to hell, I got a tweet on my Twitter fyp from an rp acct that was like “like this if you hate spectre” and it had ~35 likes so I had to be cheeky and tweeted "what's it like to have bad taste" gjdsakldgskajg My one time with a mean streak..........

Genuinely though, what’s it like to not have taste, he's a freak, it's on purpose, I'd die for Spec

[stereopticons]

Oh hello there!

Opening Credits: What's in the Box? - Four Year Strong (well, that is a choice!)

Waking Up: Rent - Original Broadway Cast of Rent (a vibe for sure. not sure what vibe, but you know)

First Day At School: Girl From Mars - Ash

Falling In Love: Tiny Little Fractures - Snow Patrol (uh oh, that doesn't seem good)

Fight Song: Where is My Mind? - Pixies (ahahahahaha, well, I guess that is fitting)

Breaking Up: I Wanna Be Adored - The Stone Roses (I have questions for you)

Life’s OK: I Died So I Could Haunt You - Stars (um........)

Getting Back Together: There Is a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths (I guess fitting giving your life's ok song)

Wedding: Training Montage - The Mountain Goats ("I'm doing this for revenge" sure is a choice)

Birth of Child: I Can't Stop Smiling - Velocity Girl (aww)

Final Battle: Shadow Waltz - Clever Hopes (....huh. Uh huh...)

Death Scene:  marjorie - Taylor Swift (does that mean you're not really dead?)

Funeral Song:  Hunting for Witches - Bloc Party (ahahahahahaha)

End Credits: Not the End - Karmella's Game (I'm starting to think you did not die and have come back to do more things for revenge)

message me hey for you life story built from shuffling my music library

[tuoshpreecq]

Scott: breaks up with Jean

Scott: dresses up like a slut to go see Emma

Emma: Your friend Kamala is dead

Scott: 😰

[firedragon1321]

Real Digimon fans remember.

[edgepunk]

the Pathologic joke in the conclusion section of hbomb's video is very appreciated

[goldkirk]

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT CLOWNCORE IS

[littlebetesofeverything]

You know what? This was an incredible season finale. I live for the callbacks and the resolutions. Everyone is ending on a better note than the season beginning. Definitely glad this is not the end though, so here’s to the hiatus!

[apollotronica]

OH MY GOD ITS 10 AM

[maaaxx]

twbb Chapter 14 :)

[viewparadise]

I hate that I know exactly what this is in reference to

not to be controversial but sometimes I think the private personal lives of celebrities are in fact none of our business

[crow-caller]

as a child there's nothing cooler than a kid who gets subjected to evil experiments and gains special abilities. it's even cooler if these abilities also cause unfathomable suffering to use/against others. children love stories like this.