#this unspoken thing
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herhurthoneyheart · 9 months ago
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I will forever be the person who says "it’s okay, I understand.." even when my heart is breaking into pieces..
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natalievoncatte · 16 days ago
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Everything was in place. Lena dropped down into the passenger seat of Jess’s car. The trunk was loaded with presents and books and Lena was ready. Jess fired up the engine of her 2009 Honda Civic and off they went, navigating National City traffic.
Lena’s stomach was full of butterflies. She had her hood up and was dressed down in sweats, not looking at all her fashion place self. Jess parked by one of the service entrances and a security guard let them in with a curt nod. Lena had dropped him a four figure tip to cooperate.
The kids were gathered in a common area on the fifth floor pediatric intensive unit, ranging in age from three to fifteen. Lena fought the lump that formed in her throat as they gathered, some of the younger ones in the laps of the older.
Lena started with a reading of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, complete with sill voices and big smiles and a lot of effort on her part to keep tears from welling in her eyes.
Some of these kids were having their last Christmas, and some of them knew it. Some didn’t. Others would go home, and a lucky few would help change the world with their participation in clinical trials.
On some level Lena knew that Kara would show up eventually- she’d been dropping in regularly enough, once learning that Lena read to the kids.
Sure enough, she showed up as the kids were eating turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy prepared under the supervision of a Michelin star chef that Lena had hired at great expense to prepare their dinner.
Supergirl, all swagger and power, strode into the room. The response was curious. They knew her of course, and she’d been there enough times, even read to them, that there was a peculiar familiarity to her visits and only the new kids got truly excited.
They were more excited by Kara’s plus one. She’d brought with her the most perfect Santa Claus that Lena had ever seen. No fake beard here; every whisker was real, as was every crease and wrinkle. Even his costume was flawless, velvet coat and paints lined with genuine fur. He had a huge beach sack thrown over one shoulder and greeted the kids with a cheer, setting to work handing out gifts.
Kara came over and stood next to Lena.
“You’ve outdone yourself this time,” said Lena.
Across the room, Santa gave a hearty Ho! Ho! Ho!, and had taken up a seat to invite kids onto his lap.
“Believe it or not,” Kara said, “he owes me a favor.”
Lena snorted and Kara winked.
“‘sides, I live at the North Pole, too. Sort of.”
Lena watched the man with the children. He really was quite good, a consummate professional.
She looked over at Kara. There was a twinge of pink in her cheeks and snowflakes melting in her hair, and her new suit showed off her muscular arms. More than that, there was a look of a wistful joy in her eyes as she watched the kids enjoy themselves.
Lena’s heart would have grown three sizes that day, if it didn’t already feel like it might burst through her ribs every time she looked at Kara, really looked at Kara.
She’d long ago admitted her feelings to herself- it was getting them out that was the problem, even now.
Across the room, Santa Claus stood, startling Lena out of her reverie.
“I’m sorry kids, but I really must go. Lots more visits to make tonight!”
He stood and walked over to Kara. “I do have that one stop to make before I begin my rounds proper. Shall we?”
He even had the perfect Santa voice.
Kara turned to Lena and offered a hand.
That was how Lena ended up in something like the setup for a bad joke: Riding in an elevator with Santa Claus and Supergirl.
It was actually rather awkward. Kara opened the roof access door and motioned for Lena, and the Santa Claus impersonator followed her out. Kara went last, lingering by the door.
“May we speak in private?” Santa said.
“Sure,” said Lena, happy to play along. She pulled her hood up against the chill and walked a few dozen paces from Kara, and Santa turned to face her.
“I’m sorry I didn’t bring you that easy bake oven you wanted when you were six,” he began.
Lena’s face fell. Lillian had exploded at her when she asked on Santa’s lap, a much less convincing Santa, and asked for the silly cooking toy.
She’d screamed that menial tasks were beneath a Luthor and Lena was supposed to ask for the American Girl dolls that Lillian had already bought, and what an ungrateful, spoiled little bitch she was. It was the first time that Lillian had called her that and far from the last; she’d added many insults to it over the years, like stupid or lazy or, most painfully of all, fat; dropping that one had sent Lena into a spiral of crash dieting that almost turned into full blown bulimia by the time she graduated from high school.
She’d never told anyone about the easy bake oven. Not even Kara.
Before Lena could demand an explanation or even speak, Santa reached into his bag, withdrew something, and handed it to her.
Lena took the stuffed bear on instinct. When she did she knew it was more than a bear. As her hands touched the somewhat ratty fur and she saw the little tear in his left ear she knew, she knew.
When the Luthors took her in, Lillian destroyed everything of her old life- everything of her mother, as if to erase her from ever existing. It was spiteful, and hateful. Lillian couldn’t revenge herself on his husband’s mistress so she did it to her child.
She’d burned Lena’s stuffed animals. They were all gone, reduced to ash.
Except
 except

“Clive?” Lena whispered, hot tears burning down her cheeks. “This is impossible, how
”
He placed a gloved hand on her shoulder and Lena felt a wave of indescribable shock roll through her. Something just
 opened.
Her mind filled with an image of perfect clarity, and a song fresh and bright in her ears. Her mother’s voice and the distant sound of the sea that would eventually take her. All her life Lena could barely remember her mother- she clawed at scraps, more able to feel her than truly remember her.
Not anymore. As she clutched the bear to her chest, memory flooded her mind like warmth from a hearth fire filling a cold room. She grinned like a fool and choked back sobs.
“How?” Lena chirped out.
“Kara asked me to bring you something very special, and I do owe her a favor. I really must get going, though.”
Then she heard it. Jingling bells.
Lena had seen a woman fly; said woman had saved her from splatting on the pavement too many times. She had never seen reindeer fly, pulling a sleigh behind them.
Wait.
No.
This was not possible.
Santa Claus threw his sack in the rear of the sleigh and climbed aboard. He threw Lena a wave.
“Merry Christmas, Lena Luthor.”
“Wait,” Lena called. “Did you bring Kara something?”
“What Kara Zor-El Danvers wants, I cannot give her,” he said, with a cryptic grin.
Lena stumbled back as the reindeer launched into a full gallop with a blast of air, the rider snapping his reins. It was only then that Lena noticed that the lead animal had a glowing red nose.
Kara stepped up behind her and put her hands on Len/ shoulders.
“Kara,” Lena said. “That was the real Santa Claus.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t understand. That was the real Santa Claus. He’s real. Santa Claus is real and he gave me my stuffed bear back.”
As Lena turned, Kara smiled. “I know, baby.”
Lena swiped at her cheeks.
“I-I don’t know how you did this, but thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t even know what to say.”
Kara stepped closer, into her space. Very gently, she brushed away one of Lena’s tears with the pad of her thumb.
“You don’t have to say anything.”
“He said he couldn’t get you what he wanted. I find that hard to believe.”
“He can’t just give it to me because it’s not his to give. He did give me this, though.”
Kara reached under her cape, drawing out a small twig with a pair of scalloped leaves and some red berries.
“Is that mistletoe?”
“Yeah,” said Kara.
She lifted it over her head and held it there, smiling at Lena.
It took a moment for her brain to catch up. Kara was holding the mistletoe over her head. She was under the mistletoe.
Lena faltered for just a moment, but then stepped forward, closing what little gap was left between them. Kara was every inch the dashing prince as she put her arm around Lena’s waist, spinning her a little as the other hand cupped her chin and tilted her head just so for Kara to place a gentle, loving, and utterly devastating closed-mouth kiss on Lena’s lips.
Suddenly Lena understood what it was that Kara wanted and for the second time in as many minutes her heart soared and Lena threw her arms around Kara’s neck and they swayed there like dancers amid the snow flurries until Kara flew them home.
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raepliica · 1 year ago
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tristamp post-S1 mashwood sillies and tri98(?) merylwood :]
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ladyofsilverr · 2 months ago
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DRAGON AGE: THE VEILGUARD — 3/∞ ➜ Neve Gallus
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mummer · 6 months ago
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jace being the first one to jump to call valyrian exceptionalism a farce ties so well into his bastard identity and the fact that he’s had to baldly lie about himself for his entire life to fit the image of the perfect heir
. like of course he would understand that better than anyone. people have died to protect that lie, his lie! rhaenyra telling him this garbled incoherent nonsense prophecy like it changes anything about what they’re doing or why they’re doing it. little normcore guy in targ family hell beating down his bad rebellious thoughts with a hammer every morning trying to reconvince himself of the lie, of the idea he could be the perfect shining promised prince but he knows something is Wrong. a totally mundane trivial death at the centre of the spiral. quentyn voice i must be the hero the hero never dies.
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fandombead · 7 months ago
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I love that Janus has a cane: a tool long used for support and guiding. Self care and guiding the others, sometimes physically pulling and moving them with it. I see the shepherd metaphor quite plainly as well
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weirdo-from-bonesborough · 3 months ago
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billy who's been left behind and kicked out and disgarded his whole life vs mary who's been chosen and cherished her whole life (by her parents, by her other parents, by billy)
these two are gonna have so many attachment issues but in the opposite direction.
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puppetmaster13u · 1 year ago
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One of my favorite tiny headcanons for superbat is that they at some point while both concussed, end up with nicknames for each other. Bruce half jokingly calls Clark Sunshine, and again they're both concussed, their mental faculties are not all the way there. So Clark jokingly calls Bruce Moonshine.
No one else has this context. And everyone else is very confused.
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creepycoffins · 1 year ago
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I said he was unpleasant, he said I was a louse, and then we took to quarreling round the house
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binglepringle · 5 months ago
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Idek what this is but here you go đŸ€Č
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kotofeden · 1 year ago
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"I must go now, but I'll wait for you in a throne room"
Okay, so @samioli and @wr1ghtw0rth inspired me to dig up an old sketch and finish it up a little, blame them for this
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cauldron-of-oddities · 2 months ago
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Happy sad thought, possessed by the snippet of this song.
What if Ekko calls Jinx ‘my dear enemy’ as a ward and solace for Jinx?
She believes she kills all those who she loves and love her. So Ekko says enemy while meaning ‘my dear love/friend’ as a comfort to her. To ‘confuse’ her curse.
But between them, unspoken, they know the true meaning.
And maybe there's something Isha left Jinx with. Not everything needs to be spoken. Sometimes, you just know.
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miidnightzone · 11 days ago
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pre-canon kevin snarls that if andrew won't let him onto the court, he must take kevin in the car for a drive. andrew raises an eyebrow. it's past midnight and the striker is huffing, heavy breaths that could easily be mistaken as rage alone if andrew wasn't familiar with two things: the signs of spiralling and kevin day.
he feels the smile that pulls the corner of his mouth up, "you are not in any shape to be making demands."
"andrew," kevin grits impatiently, right hand sticking out like a child who ate the last of their candy and demanded for more. "keys, now."
andrew tsks, "ah, ah. can't have our new assistant coach dead in a ditch now, can we? imagine the articles!" he doesn't wait for kevin to follow when he stalks past him, keys held up and spinning on his finger. "don't forget, i can leave without you."
when kevin finally unfreezes, he nearly knocks over the dorm's shoe rack in his haste to reach the closing door.
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willyhoos · 24 days ago
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metamy is insane. like.
what if i was the hero you loved gone wrong. defeated and destroyed. rebuilt as my own greatest enemy. what if i lost everything. what if i had been reprogrammed to despise all i had once fought for. what if i couldn't even remember why i had fought at all.
and what if you were made of roses. what if you represented every beautiful thing i once died trying to protect. what if you wore flowers in your hair and cared for small creatures and had eyes the color of the forests i used to call my home. what if you were everything i once loved.
those memories are just out of my reach. infuriatingly. maddeningly. but if anyone knows who i am (who i used to be) it's you. if anyone can make me feel like who i used to be (who i really am) it's you. i can't speak, i can't breathe, i can't remember anything (but you).
you are the world i have been ordered to burn. i am the weapon you have chosen to resist. i was (am) the hero that you loved.
you are my only memory.
i will do anything to make you believe me.
#sonic#metamy#metal sonic#amy rose#like. the motifs man. the robot falls in love with rose.#he fought and died to protect nature. her name is AMY ROSE.#he fought and died to protect nature and HE WAS CONVERTED INTO A METAL WEAPON. used against his OWN DREAM.#you are a weapon against yourself. what do you remember? i remember her (i remember failing her)#he's cold. (un)dead. sharp. made of metal. enemy of life. LITERALLY AT WAR WITH HIMSELF (metalsonic v sonic).#she's so so warm. bright. soft. covered in flowers. the only thing that could be good and patient and loving enough to endure him.#it's about his unspoken obsession. he has no mouth he makes no sound he cannot blink or smile or cry.#so he stares in silence at a girl so beautiful and gentle he almost remembers. almost. almost. almost.#all she sees (at first) is a tool. a cold imitation of her love. staring unblinking. unthinking unfeeling.#and then. confusion. and then curiosity.#and when she figures it out. it turns to horror.#BUT THATS FOR LATER!#the best part to me is that weird phase where amy is like. what is this thing doinggg😭 (secretly affectionate) while metal stares at her👁👁#and composes love poem death threats (2 sonic) in his mind.#its about jealousy. im the true sonic. you say you love sonic and im sonic why dont you love me? love me. love me#-> you are kind to me. i had forgotten that feeling. i wont lose it again. so im gonna kill your boyfriend . if thats okay😁beepboop!#the dynamic between amy and sonic and sonics weird undead evil robot clone WHO WANTS TO BE 'THE REAL' SONIC SO BADLY is sooooo yummy.#esp if sonic in turn is like. 'is. is he actually a contender in this. AMY. YOURE BETTER THAN THIS.'#sonic's own sense of ego and entitlement (/pos i love him hes a rat) clashing in two separate forms. two separate lifetimes.#but! that rose! that same rose!!!!!!!!!!!#(clutches head in hands)#.txt
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riothegreenwitch · 2 years ago
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I bet we were fun.
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hoofpeet · 9 months ago
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It feels like a lot of the ppl who are asking you to trigger tag the derealization stuff r probably the same people to ask for trigger tags on self harm scars. Like yeah mayb some ppl might be triggered by them but it's also a very real part of someone's body (+life) that they r always living with. And it's weird to ask someone to trigger tag that??? Like what a fucked up thing to say to someone? No you can't have your arms uncovered in your own space because it makes me upset to see that part of you/no you can't make a mild vent post on your own blog because it makes me upset to see that part of your life?? The unfollow/block button is right there goddam. Just walk out you can leave and all that. Anyway ur post really resonated with me and I'm so sorry for all the hate you got over it
YEAH people treating any kind of scarring as some sort of taboo subject is also really annoying to me.. Putting effort into any art starts to not feel worth it when people expect to like. Take everything they want from you while ignoring whatever they don't want to 'deal with'.... very very disheartening to be expected to be quiet about normal parts of my life while. also pouring all my time into making art for other's enjoyment . Like an internet jester
-neway ! Glad my post helped a little at least- it was nice to see others relate to it, so whatever weird discourse it sparked is worth dealing with if it comforted anyone 👍
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