#this unspoken thing
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hereiswhatremains · 29 days ago
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"I think that loving you has been the truest thing about me."
— Taylor Jenkins Reid, from The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo
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herhurthoneyheart · 1 year ago
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I will forever be the person who says "it’s okay, I understand.." even when my heart is breaking into pieces..
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onionninjasstuff · 3 months ago
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carrying each other :з
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months ago
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Maybe we never had a chance.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#a-yuan#Ultimately...despite how hard we try to reach people - sometimes it just is not possible.#Sometimes all you can do is wish that things could have been different. You pen a note with all the things you want to say -#and then you let it go. The words stay unsent and unspoken. You just watch the rift between you grow until you're too far away to try again#It is a sad end! It is two people who want to be closer but do not have the right capacity to do anything but shut doors.#Worse yet; it's two people who feel it is not their place to try and impose anything more.#It takes so long to heal from endings like that. You never get enough closure when there is still a faint hope of 'another day'.#It's a false amicability. It's closing a door and telling yourself that at least the windows are unlocked.#WWX will keep up his friendliness as a way to hold LWJ at a distance. LWJ can only try to help so many times.#Speaking of tragedies of trying to help; Let's talk about the addiction metaphors in this episode.#WWX tells LWJ in fairly straightforward terms that he does not *want* do be doing ghost cultivation.#What he wants is to protect people - by any means necessary. If he had another option he would take it.#The path WWX 'chose' is one that is deeply mired in external shame and taboo. He jokes about it but it clearly doesn't feel great.#And I put 'chose' in quotes because just like many who find them selves in bad situations - the choice is an illusion.#He's adamant that this is 'his' choice. That he is in control.#Better to be villainized that endure the terrifying reality that you lack any ability to have choice anymore.#If he had the choice - truly had the choice - he would not be doing this.#You can't help those who don't want to be helped. So of course all LWJ can do is watch from the side. Offer a hand when he can.#This life was a tragedy and the countdown to it all blowing up started a long time ago...
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jakeperalta · 24 days ago
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The Hunger Games (2012) dir. Gary Ross
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natalievoncatte · 4 months ago
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Everything was in place. Lena dropped down into the passenger seat of Jess’s car. The trunk was loaded with presents and books and Lena was ready. Jess fired up the engine of her 2009 Honda Civic and off they went, navigating National City traffic.
Lena’s stomach was full of butterflies. She had her hood up and was dressed down in sweats, not looking at all her fashion place self. Jess parked by one of the service entrances and a security guard let them in with a curt nod. Lena had dropped him a four figure tip to cooperate.
The kids were gathered in a common area on the fifth floor pediatric intensive unit, ranging in age from three to fifteen. Lena fought the lump that formed in her throat as they gathered, some of the younger ones in the laps of the older.
Lena started with a reading of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, complete with sill voices and big smiles and a lot of effort on her part to keep tears from welling in her eyes.
Some of these kids were having their last Christmas, and some of them knew it. Some didn’t. Others would go home, and a lucky few would help change the world with their participation in clinical trials.
On some level Lena knew that Kara would show up eventually- she’d been dropping in regularly enough, once learning that Lena read to the kids.
Sure enough, she showed up as the kids were eating turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy prepared under the supervision of a Michelin star chef that Lena had hired at great expense to prepare their dinner.
Supergirl, all swagger and power, strode into the room. The response was curious. They knew her of course, and she’d been there enough times, even read to them, that there was a peculiar familiarity to her visits and only the new kids got truly excited.
They were more excited by Kara’s plus one. She’d brought with her the most perfect Santa Claus that Lena had ever seen. No fake beard here; every whisker was real, as was every crease and wrinkle. Even his costume was flawless, velvet coat and paints lined with genuine fur. He had a huge beach sack thrown over one shoulder and greeted the kids with a cheer, setting to work handing out gifts.
Kara came over and stood next to Lena.
“You’ve outdone yourself this time,” said Lena.
Across the room, Santa gave a hearty Ho! Ho! Ho!, and had taken up a seat to invite kids onto his lap.
“Believe it or not,” Kara said, “he owes me a favor.”
Lena snorted and Kara winked.
“‘sides, I live at the North Pole, too. Sort of.”
Lena watched the man with the children. He really was quite good, a consummate professional.
She looked over at Kara. There was a twinge of pink in her cheeks and snowflakes melting in her hair, and her new suit showed off her muscular arms. More than that, there was a look of a wistful joy in her eyes as she watched the kids enjoy themselves.
Lena’s heart would have grown three sizes that day, if it didn’t already feel like it might burst through her ribs every time she looked at Kara, really looked at Kara.
She’d long ago admitted her feelings to herself- it was getting them out that was the problem, even now.
Across the room, Santa Claus stood, startling Lena out of her reverie.
“I’m sorry kids, but I really must go. Lots more visits to make tonight!”
He stood and walked over to Kara. “I do have that one stop to make before I begin my rounds proper. Shall we?”
He even had the perfect Santa voice.
Kara turned to Lena and offered a hand.
That was how Lena ended up in something like the setup for a bad joke: Riding in an elevator with Santa Claus and Supergirl.
It was actually rather awkward. Kara opened the roof access door and motioned for Lena, and the Santa Claus impersonator followed her out. Kara went last, lingering by the door.
“May we speak in private?” Santa said.
“Sure,” said Lena, happy to play along. She pulled her hood up against the chill and walked a few dozen paces from Kara, and Santa turned to face her.
“I’m sorry I didn’t bring you that easy bake oven you wanted when you were six,” he began.
Lena’s face fell. Lillian had exploded at her when she asked on Santa’s lap, a much less convincing Santa, and asked for the silly cooking toy.
She’d screamed that menial tasks were beneath a Luthor and Lena was supposed to ask for the American Girl dolls that Lillian had already bought, and what an ungrateful, spoiled little bitch she was. It was the first time that Lillian had called her that and far from the last; she’d added many insults to it over the years, like stupid or lazy or, most painfully of all, fat; dropping that one had sent Lena into a spiral of crash dieting that almost turned into full blown bulimia by the time she graduated from high school.
She’d never told anyone about the easy bake oven. Not even Kara.
Before Lena could demand an explanation or even speak, Santa reached into his bag, withdrew something, and handed it to her.
Lena took the stuffed bear on instinct. When she did she knew it was more than a bear. As her hands touched the somewhat ratty fur and she saw the little tear in his left ear she knew, she knew.
When the Luthors took her in, Lillian destroyed everything of her old life- everything of her mother, as if to erase her from ever existing. It was spiteful, and hateful. Lillian couldn’t revenge herself on his husband’s mistress so she did it to her child.
She’d burned Lena’s stuffed animals. They were all gone, reduced to ash.
Except… except…
“Clive?” Lena whispered, hot tears burning down her cheeks. “This is impossible, how…”
He placed a gloved hand on her shoulder and Lena felt a wave of indescribable shock roll through her. Something just… opened.
Her mind filled with an image of perfect clarity, and a song fresh and bright in her ears. Her mother’s voice and the distant sound of the sea that would eventually take her. All her life Lena could barely remember her mother- she clawed at scraps, more able to feel her than truly remember her.
Not anymore. As she clutched the bear to her chest, memory flooded her mind like warmth from a hearth fire filling a cold room. She grinned like a fool and choked back sobs.
“How?” Lena chirped out.
“Kara asked me to bring you something very special, and I do owe her a favor. I really must get going, though.”
Then she heard it. Jingling bells.
Lena had seen a woman fly; said woman had saved her from splatting on the pavement too many times. She had never seen reindeer fly, pulling a sleigh behind them.
Wait.
No.
This was not possible.
Santa Claus threw his sack in the rear of the sleigh and climbed aboard. He threw Lena a wave.
“Merry Christmas, Lena Luthor.”
“Wait,” Lena called. “Did you bring Kara something?”
“What Kara Zor-El Danvers wants, I cannot give her,” he said, with a cryptic grin.
Lena stumbled back as the reindeer launched into a full gallop with a blast of air, the rider snapping his reins. It was only then that Lena noticed that the lead animal had a glowing red nose.
Kara stepped up behind her and put her hands on Len/ shoulders.
“Kara,” Lena said. “That was the real Santa Claus.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t understand. That was the real Santa Claus. He’s real. Santa Claus is real and he gave me my stuffed bear back.”
As Lena turned, Kara smiled. “I know, baby.”
Lena swiped at her cheeks.
“I-I don’t know how you did this, but thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t even know what to say.”
Kara stepped closer, into her space. Very gently, she brushed away one of Lena’s tears with the pad of her thumb.
“You don’t have to say anything.”
“He said he couldn’t get you what he wanted. I find that hard to believe.”
“He can’t just give it to me because it’s not his to give. He did give me this, though.”
Kara reached under her cape, drawing out a small twig with a pair of scalloped leaves and some red berries.
“Is that mistletoe?”
“Yeah,” said Kara.
She lifted it over her head and held it there, smiling at Lena.
It took a moment for her brain to catch up. Kara was holding the mistletoe over her head. She was under the mistletoe.
Lena faltered for just a moment, but then stepped forward, closing what little gap was left between them. Kara was every inch the dashing prince as she put her arm around Lena’s waist, spinning her a little as the other hand cupped her chin and tilted her head just so for Kara to place a gentle, loving, and utterly devastating closed-mouth kiss on Lena’s lips.
Suddenly Lena understood what it was that Kara wanted and for the second time in as many minutes her heart soared and Lena threw her arms around Kara’s neck and they swayed there like dancers amid the snow flurries until Kara flew them home.
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raepliica · 2 years ago
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tristamp post-S1 mashwood sillies and tri98(?) merylwood :]
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ladyofsilverr · 5 months ago
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DRAGON AGE: THE VEILGUARD — 3/∞ ➜ Neve Gallus
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clumsy-mudpuppy · 2 months ago
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they dont talk about the nightmares
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mummer · 9 months ago
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jace being the first one to jump to call valyrian exceptionalism a farce ties so well into his bastard identity and the fact that he’s had to baldly lie about himself for his entire life to fit the image of the perfect heir…. like of course he would understand that better than anyone. people have died to protect that lie, his lie! rhaenyra telling him this garbled incoherent nonsense prophecy like it changes anything about what they’re doing or why they’re doing it. little normcore guy in targ family hell beating down his bad rebellious thoughts with a hammer every morning trying to reconvince himself of the lie, of the idea he could be the perfect shining promised prince but he knows something is Wrong. a totally mundane trivial death at the centre of the spiral. quentyn voice i must be the hero the hero never dies.
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fandombead · 10 months ago
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I love that Janus has a cane: a tool long used for support and guiding. Self care and guiding the others, sometimes physically pulling and moving them with it. I see the shepherd metaphor quite plainly as well
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hereiswhatremains · 29 days ago
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"Yes, the love is still there even when you aren't."
— IG (@zanefrederickwrites)
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javierduffy · 1 month ago
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different.
#can’t help but recognize how kieran is a fantastic unspoken representation of autism#i see a lot of myself in him and the way that he is so isolated and lonely and yet cannot help but perform and find solace in his daily#routines is so heartbreaking in its own way to me. like no matter what you do or where you are you have no choice but to be yourself and fun#nction the only way you know how and it will never not be vastly different from everyone else. and when you’re surrounded by people who DONT#like you and will not accommodate and are not at all willing or curious in understanding WHY you are the way you are you’re left to just ….#live in your own head forever. i’m certain kieran thinks many wonderous things and sees the world in a beautiful light and i know this becau#se i am autistic myself and because of that i see the world in colours that neurotypical people will never comprehend but we’re never allowe#d to see the world through kieran’s eyes. we are never allowed to see where his heart rests or the poetry he waxes or what he believes or wh#at his triggers are or what’s a stim and what’s just habit or anything. anything. the breeze sounds different to him and he can hear birds f#or miles and the sun makes every hair on his arms tingle and that’s why he wears layers everywhere and every green he sees sings a beautiful#song to him and yet we’ll never know. because he is too different even for the van der linde gang. he is incomprehensible to them and he doe#s all of his 4/5 daily tasks over and over and over again and while he would always do them and will always do them because they are innate#to him no one will ever know just what they mean to him. no one will ever know that kieran duffy can distinguish the horses behind him by th#eir breathing cadences behind him as he scrubs the spare saddle with the sun high above his head and he can know when something is wrong bec#ause he can hear it. no one will ever know that he CAN read but the only thing he’s interested in is books about wildlife and horses and fis#h in particular and no one will ever know because he knows no one will ever understand or even care and if they do they’ll be sure to make#it a point to tell him how DIFFERENT he is. and realistically even if the vdl’s DID come around to liking him he STILL would NEVER be unders#tood. i know for certain he would always be described as odd and despite its new affectionate approach he would still be the odd one out wit#h his daily routines and his texture preferences and his inability to make eye contact and his erratic seemingly random triggers and his#anxiety that seems to have a mind of its own. no one would ever know how bright the tree leaves are in his eyes or how every horse smells di#fferent or why sometimes it’s more fun to reel his rod in over and over instead of actually catching a fish. he will always be …. different.#sorry. novel moment. he means a lot to me.#i’m not super happy with how he looks in these but i’m just trying to draw more :’) i always say that but i always mean it too#also if my novel makes no sense then just ignore it. it’s late and my head hurts. i tend to get tangential#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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envythesnow · 13 days ago
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saxon and lochlan through each other’s eyes <3
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mythboundcal · 16 days ago
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The Weight of an Empty Coat Hook FMA: Brotherhood Fanfic by MythboundCal
There’s still a coat on the hook by the door.
Khaki. Pressed. Too stiff to be his. He’s never been that precise.
It hangs like a promise. Like a habit. Like something he forgot to take down and now doesn’t know how to touch.
Roy tells himself it’s for when she visits. But it’s never cold when she does.
The war is over. The new government is still finding its legs, and his title weighs heavier than his rank ever did. He’s got folders to sign, meetings to attend, medals to return.
But the chair to his right? It stays empty.
She said she needed time. Not away from him, necessarily—just away from this. The work. The policy. The tightrope that starts to look more like a noose the longer you walk it.
He understood. Of course he did.
He just didn’t expect time to move so slowly when she wasn’t filling the room with her silence.
The coat shifts in the corner of his eye when he walks past. He never looks at it directly. Not really. But he knows it’s there.
The way he used to know her breath patterns during stakeouts. The way he still pauses when pouring two cups of coffee, even though the second one always goes cold.
Some days, he thinks about boxing it up. Sending it to wherever she is. Some days, he thinks about what he’d write in the note. Most days, he doesn’t write anything.
Because if he does, that means she might not come back.
And he’s not ready to believe that yet.
So the coat stays. Waiting.
Not a uniform. Not a weapon.
Just fabric. Just memory.
And maybe, just maybe—
A place to return to.
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one-hit-boy-wonder · 6 months ago
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billy who's been left behind and kicked out and disgarded his whole life vs mary who's been chosen and cherished her whole life (by her parents, by her other parents, by billy)
these two are gonna have so many attachment issues but in the opposite direction.
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