#this unsolicited post brought to you today by:

[hummingbird-games]

I need visual novel enthusiasts to stop saying they’re not gamers/not “real” gamers.

Yes you are.

Yes, you are.

Yes you are.

[denial-permanente]

Hi, I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your blog but also how much of help it has been for me personally. I've seen how frustrating your blog can be from all the weird comments and unsolicited pics people send you. My wife and I started on our own chastity journey just over a year ago and your blog is one of the resources that is most helpful to me. Obviously I love the images you post but the insight into your relationship is of most value. We've always had a great marriage but our sex life could have been better...it happens to most of us I'm sure. We had several discussions about this over time but I knew deep down the issue was mostly down to my masturbation habit. Again probably something most married.men are guilty of. I think it was a habit or addiction. I brought up using a chastity cage after one of our discussions/arguements and the benefits it could bring to our relationship. I also confessed about my masturbation habit and how I needed help to fix it. My wife was actually happy about my suggestion and willing to try it. We read some books and blogs and ordered a cage. Fast forwarding to today, we currently practise a 6 week lock up period. My wife finds this the most acceptable period as she notices a low interest week after a release. So there are 5 weeks when I'm particularly affectionate and attentive. She is not a dominating type like yourself and we just have a normal marriage. In the future I do crave that she decides to move to permanent chastity and no piv sex. But that would be down to her and I think it best to not push for that or tell her that is my desire. Maybe that's the wrong choice though, I just think that will worry her. I've ordered a vixskin like yourselves as I think that will help her with missing piv sex and may lead to a longer lock up time. Thanks again.

First, congratulations on figuring out where some of your problems have been and good luck on your efforts to fix things. I just want to mention something about moving to "permanent" lock up. This is not just for you, I see this with a lot of the men who leave comments.

I get that the idea of being locked up forever is hot. Once I got into the idea of keeping my husband locked, we both used to tease each other along with bedroom talk about him being locked for really long term (like 5 or 10 years) or even for the rest of his life. I'd imagine my husband forever frustrated and full of desire for me. I'd imagine the power I had over him that way. It was exciting and arousing to talk about. And naturally he felt the same way.

But... that was me. And him. And I don't think that what we do is for everybody. And certainly I can imagine that a lot of women would not want to do this, or would be comfortable with the idea. A lot of men seem to get all horny and then dump all these fantasies on their wives, and you don't understand how it might freak them out a little.

It seems that your wife is enjoying what you're doing. Give it some time. Let her enjoy what she's doing. Let her take your fantasy and try to fit it into her own mind. It may not be your fantasy, but isn't it belter to have one that you can share and make a reality?

[after-witch]

messages

I got a lot of lovely messages about my back pain at my first day of work so I'm answering them all in one post!

thank you for the kind messages & logical responses, I really really really really truly appreciate it when people take the time out to send something thoughtful to me.

under a keep reading!

Anonymous asked:

I'm not sure if it'll help at all or if you could use one, but there's some companies that make cushions that are portable (or semi portable) for office work and truck driving and stuff, they can help with bad chairs and back pain (I got one for my mom years ago after an injury, she quite liked it) (I'm so sorry if this unsolicited advice is unwelcome)

no it's not unwelcome! I have one for strapping into chairs that I got last year, but tbh I found that a rolled up pillow was better for my back, at least with the chair I have.

Anonymous asked:

hello Theo! it's okay to feel the way you feel after your first day. a new job is a very stressful experience and there's an element of shock, because you rapidly enter a new environment and are required to adjust to it very promptly.

I'm more than sure that neither your boss, nor your colleagues will be against it if you bring yourself a pillow to support your back to work. you can start small with a pillow, if you feel awkward about more significant adjustments, and then later negotiate a question of bringing a more comfortable chair, if you have resources. you need to be a special sort of asshole to start picking on your employee for a back pillow.

this is an immediate health need that should be met and an absolutely valid reason to request making adjustments on your workplace, doctor note or not. 1) the more comfortable you make yourself the more chances are that it will improve your overall performance; 2) from the employers's POV accommodating to the needs of an already on-boarded employee is better than going through the hiring process all over again.

I wish you all the best and I am sure you will do great once you adjust! sending you a mental hug

"shock" definitely fits… it's all very fast and just, jarring I guess?

I brought a cushion today and no one said anything. I did find out what I need to do in terms of requesting accomodations via an online FAQ (I didn't want to ask my manager so early;;) but I will need a doctor to fill out a form, so I have to wait until next month when I have health insurance.

Thank you for the kind words and logical thought process. I sometimes just need people who are not me, currently in hysterical emotional frenzy, to be like no, this is not a big deal, only assholes will care about a pillow and employer's would rather complete an accommodation request then find & hire someone new.

--

Anonymous asked:

You absolutely should ask for accommodations this early. They hired you because they know you were right for the job, they want you there, so they will help make it easier for you. They are obviously nice people so ask.

You've been through alot of stress and anxiety recently so having that all build up on you after your first day is normal.

It's hard to not think negatively I know but don't let your brain spiral you until you have talked to them. We are always are own worse enemies!

It will be fine, you will be fine

It turns out I do need a physician to fill out a form so I will have to wait until next month when I have insurance. But thank you for the logical thoughts... I get so wrapped up when I feel negative emotions, I kind of lose myself in them. I brought a cushion today and no one said anything.

I have been really stressed & anxious and it's kind of like the Cherry on Top when something went wrong with my back. I'm always waiting for something bad to happen so to speak, when things go right... so when my back hurt so bad yesterday I was just like "Welp!! here it is!!!! right on cue!"

--

Anonymous asked:

First few times I took a flight I dealt with horrible muscular pains the days after, the first few days I could barely walk each time. The reason why that used to happen to me, even though I thought I was relaxed and just sitting, was because I was unconsciously straining my muscles due to stress I wasn’t aware of. Eventually the whole thing became casual to me, so the stress and the pain went away and these days I’m completely unaffected.

Of course a condition such as yours might further exacerbate the pain, but as you get used to the new climate and process I doubt you’ll have to deal with it for months or years. It’ll become like sitting at home.

I think for sure, I was straining when sitting at the chair, because it doesn't have the same type of back (nor is it as wide) as my chair at home... so I feel like my back muscles were straining for hours and I didn't think about it. But also the chair is rather awful (other people were complaining about them, especially with it hurting their thighs!) so I hope I can get an accommodation request.

[russilton]

Thanks but no thanks for being so not understanding. I was letting out my frustration and upset at seeing people continuously bash on George and simply state my opinion on Lewis which imo I don’t think was as bad as you seem to suggest. If it annoyed you that much you could’ve just as easily ignored it (like you’re telling me to do with others comments!!) instead of airing your thoughts in public without my words to go with it.

Having faves doesn’t mean you can’t point out their flaws or things you’ve noticed about them that may be more negative.

Anon, this is my inbox. You can’t walk into my house, yell about the way the food I brought home has annoyedyou, then get upset when I tell you it’s unappreciated and I want you to back off. This is a space of controlled conversation, meaning I do have to set my own boundaries, and you crossed them.

An open inbox doesn’t mean I’m here be angrily vented at either. Did you consider I’ve had a pretty ass day too, man? I’m trying to engage what I preach, chat with people about fun topics and move on from a truely heartbreaking day of racing, and now I’ve got a long message about how Lewis fans are so awful so it’s time to bring up how Lewis sucked becuase George didn’t. Can you consider reframing how unhelpful that is today? You’re having a bad day as George fan? I’m having a bad day as a Lewis fan seeing someone tear him for a couple bad races to make George look better. George can look great all on his own, without that.

Especially after an entire season of this back and forth nit picking and fan waring being why I turned anons off for so long?

You get to come here and say whatever you like as a complete stranger for my direct attention, but it’s wrong for me to take those words out of context when you yourself removed the context of your identity and continuity? This isn’t a place I’ve allowed these kinds of vents for a long time because I find them so unhelpful to the situation, it just reaffirms a belief and then people spiral, and I don’t know if it’s 6 people with the same belief or just one person not giving up.

I’m sorry I was mean to you, it’s not fun to receive, I know, but you also can’t just come in and start venting unsolicited for your own release but be angry at my feelings becuase I didn’t sympathise or fix it . I’m not the Merc socials, I’m some guy in bed with a tumblr who was mid writing a post about 3 real people fucking.

If this sounds pretty annoying or restrictive to you, make your own blog, get chatting, make friends to discuss your views with, that’s the route to actual conversation. Not a strangers inbox.

[thestalwartheart]

Oh boy I am so sorry (and incandescent) that you had to experience the entitlement of this heinous loser commenting their Opinions on your fics 💀 I mean I’ll first say that I love your stories. You’re one of the first 00Q writers I read and I was later so delighted to find that you also had a tumblr and I could read your non-fic thoughts and fandom joys. All your stories are so full of heart and the way you convey the characters’ emotions is so chefs kiss. Also whenever I see that one tumblr post that jokes but also makes the genuine point that character and thematic analysis can in fact go hand in hand with characters boning, I immediately think of you 🤣

Even if I lived in a timeline in which I somehow wasn’t touched by your stories and characterizations of Bond and Q and other characters, I would still be so appalled that this person felt the need to leave their rancid takes on your stories. This person really typed out their words, thought “Yeah, I did something!” and then clicked Send.

I still can’t believe there are people who will find something that isn’t for them and then believe that means they can treat the creator… however they wish. I wasn’t aware that everything in the world had to be catered to their tastes lest their be consequences.

“Then don’t share your work!” some might say. It seems to me that people who genuinely believe this argument treat unsolicited comments as a force of nature rather than something people can choose not to do. I know not to leave food out overnight because that might attract bugs into my home. Bugs are a force of nature. Neither I nor the bugs can control their need to scavenge for food, so it’s on me if I leave food out. Creators can’t control every person who comes across their work but said persons can make decisions for themselves to not be a shit.

Oh, Anon. Thank you for this message. It was so heartening to read and just the reminder I needed that while people on the internet can and do spend their time typing out truly hateful nonsense, there are people out there who spend their time writing kind things, too. And I'm so lucky here on tumblr to have cultivated this community where we're all so supportive of each other ❤️

And while I'm here, thank you to everyone else who has been so kind to me this morning too, either in AO3 comments, in my tumblr replies, or in my DMs. You're all gems. I'm fine, I promise.

Today was actually a lesson in how far I've come as a recovering people pleaser. A while ago, these comments would have bothered me immensely. Now, I've done my ranting, blocked the commenter, and I'm good. I'll stick to getting my constructive criticism from writers and editors I trust, and whose opinions aren't simply a word vomit of their own issues masquerading as an objective critique.

To end on a happier note, this comment:

whenever I see that one tumblr post that jokes but also makes the genuine point that character and thematic analysis can in fact go hand in hand with characters boning, I immediately think of you

has brought me UNTOLD joy about my impact on this fandom 😂 Boning as character analysis is so important to me, truly!!!

Thank you for this lovely message, friend. I appreciate you so much, and I'm so glad you're not only enjoying my stories, but my presence on this hellsite too. ❤️❤️❤️

[theglowstickchronicles]

Hi, we’ve never talked and you don’t follow me but I’ve been following you a little while. I just really feel compelled to mention this to you. There’s a lot of research available about how badly artificial sweeteners worsen IH. I know this is unsolicited advice/ info but I’ve read your posts about it and since I have the info I just had to pass it along. Obviously that’s not the only thing but your post today almost brought tears to my eyes. Doctors do not keep up with research as you well know. They are at least 10 years out from practicing, in office, what is found by researchers etc. I’ve been so tempted to share other things with you but I also know some people aren’t receptive and really only listen to drs. I wish the best for you.

Hey anon!

I do appreciate the advice, and this is actually something my neurologist told me. Overall I’ve actually cut out most artificial sweeteners for this reason! I will gladly listen to (or, well, read) any and all advice you have- I can’t promise to take it all, but at least I’ll have it!

I’m guessing the Diet Coke is what prompted this ask and please know that this decision was not made lightly. There were several contributing factors to taking a med holiday and consuming food/drinks that I know contain ingredients that I should not be having.

[teenmomcentral]

Tyler Baltierra defended his wife’s honor after some of his Instagram fans used Tyler’s newly buffed body as a reason to shame Catelynn Lowell into working out more. 

On Sunday, the Teen Mom: The Next Chapter star took to social media to show off the progress he’s made in his fitness journey over the last year, earning him lots of kudos from fans, as well as his wife Catelynn.

“I still have a long way to go until reaching my goals, but I like to post my progress as a reminder to myself of where I started, how far I’ve come, & why I keep putting in the work!” Tyler wrote in his thirst-trap photo caption.

While many fans took to the comment section to praise Tyler for the hard work he’s been putting in at the gym, the shirtless selfies also garnered some hateful words directed at Cate, with one person suggesting that Cate go “get on that treadmill” and “get healthier” in order for her and Tyler’s lifestyles to be “in sync.”

Tyler responded with a lengthy comment defending his wife and their relationship, while also telling the body-shamers to “leave [Cate] alone” and stop comparing their “own individual journeys.” 

“Whoa hold up, absolutely NOT! She doesn’t need a treadmill for her body to be desirable to me or for our lives to be in ‘sync,’ are you [for real] right now!?” Tyler wrote.

“That woman’s body has brought 4 of my beautiful children into this world!” Tyler wrote in defense of Cate. “That body has been with me through everything! That body has fought through hell & back to be the woman & wife she is today!”

“That body has held & nurtured my children,” he continued. “That body has even held me like a baby at times when I was at my breaking point…so DON’T YOU DARE tell my wife what she needs to do with her body … .

“We don’t outgrow each other, we GROW WITH EACH OTHER, through every high and low!” Ty continued. “Her body is perfect TO ME and that’s all that matters….” 

Tyler proceeded to screenshot his response and share it to his Instagram Story, along with a message to all of his followers. 

“If you share this woman’s opinion, please do me a favor & unfollow me,” he wrote on Instagram Stories. “I have no room for this type of energy! All I’m doing is sharing my OWN INDIVIDUAL fitness journey & every time I share it, people have to share their unsolicited opinion about my wife & I’m sick of it! 

“If you don’t support my wife, then you don’t support me & I don’t want you here,” he continued. 

Fans later applauded Tyler for speaking up for his wife; however an exchange between Tyler and the guy Cate’s brother has claimed is Ty’s rumored boyfriend had some criticizing the #GirlDad.

(As The Ashley previously told you, Cate’s brother Nick alleged on Instagram Live last month amid a very public family feud that Tyler is in a secret relationship with a music artist in Arizona named Sik World–real name John.)

Sik World jumped into the comment section of Tyler’s post on Monday to compliment Tyler’s “gains,” with both he and Tyler going on to make multiple jokes about the rumor of their secret relationship.

“Damn!” Sik World wrote. “My apparent secret boyfriend making all kinds of gains BEAST!” 

“@sikworld YO! I’m so dead right now lmao!,” Tyler replied.

Tyler and Sik World continued to make light of the rumors surrounding them, with the former calling out the latter for being “so bad at hiding our secret.” 

“That’s it, we’re breaking up, I can’t trust you anymore!,” Tyler told Sik World. 

The friends ultimately exchanged comments insisting that they were being “sarcastic” about the whole thing, while acknowledging there would still be people who would take what they were saying seriously.   

“@tylerbaltierramtv [despite] these clearly sarcastic comments, the fact SOMEONE out there will read these and think ‘yup… I knew it’,” Sik World wrote, to which Tyler replied, “@sikworld & that’s literally the best part about it all lmao!” 

[xxtha-blog]

Hello, I have an announcement to make. I will be calling out myself today.

It’s been brought to my attention something that happened just over 2 years ago has been brought back, so I’d like to talk about it:

So here’s a story. If you follow my blog you know I’m very critical of a lot of things, especially surrounding Dreamtale AUs. Now, I believe in one very important thing when I criticize things: No one deserves unsolicited criticism. Thus I tag/warn/hide all my stuff so those who continue reading it are prepared and I NEVER send my stuff to the creators of the work. EVER. If they’re in a server and I want to talk about it with someone, I move to DMs. If I get asked an opinion on tumblr I tag that shit with warnings, put on a read more label, and keep my criticism as constructive and analytic as possible.

So what does this have to do with anything. Let’s go back to November 2019. It was just prior to Dreamtale being continued, and a peak everyone hates Dream and knows nothing about his character. So if you think I dislike Dream alts and AUs now, it was a lot worse back then. Especially about one particular AU: Shattered Dream. One day I sat down and wrote a very long vent/rant essay on Shattered Dream, put all my emotions into it, then put it down and promised never to touch the AU again. I had it written down, it was done. No more would I rant about Shattered Dream. I had already put every opinion I could think of in a stupid document to get it out of me. The only people that were supposed to see that rant essay bullshit were my friends. It was meant to be private. It wasn’t constructive criticism. It wasn’t nice. I put all the frustration I possibly could into that thing. And I absolutely NEVER wanted it to be read by the creator. Why would I, it was me being an asshole for like 10 solid pages. It was just every problem I personally had, written down for me to get tf over it. I didn’t post it anywhere but my dms/private server. For any of my followers on this blog, you’ve probably never heard about/read this thing for a reason. I never posted it here, and if you do read it now, know I certainly don’t stand by the things I said in it.

However, me being a dumbass, I thought it was fine where it was. Discord. There was no possible way it could get out there. It was in a google doc. It was tagged with a big content disclaimer at the top for my friends (because a few of them did like the au). I did not post it anywhere beyond my own private dms and discord channels.

And the worst possible thing happened to that document.

Someone sent it to the creator. And they read it. And I was fucking mortified. I don’t know how they found it and I don’t know who sent it to them and I immediately asked to talk to them in discord so I could apologize. I also disabled the link for it to remove access since it had gotten out.

They sent me a message something along the lines of: I don’t want to hear your apology, what’s done is done, just take it down. And I was blocked before I could send a single message. I obviously had taken it down. The link they currently have posted it is a copy of it, the original was deleted.

So shit. I felt terrible. I believe very strongly in the idea that you should make things for yourself and nothing but yourself, I’d never want my opinions to genuinely affect someone’s ability to create, that’s terrible, that’s not what criticism should be ever. And then they quit their AU and I felt even more abysmal. And the situation was essentially the equivalent of someone screenshotting or copy pasting some shitty rant you made in a discord server about an AU, and having it sent anonymously to the creator. I had a false sense of security it was safe. I shouldn’t have. That was stupid. That will forever be on me.

Now, present day, they post a copy of the essay on their blog and say it was sent anonymously to them. I can promise you I would never send that to them or anyone connected to them. That’s insane. It was not me who sent it, but I am genuinely so fucking sorry you had to read that. I am so sorry for the pain it caused you, for the demotivation, for the loss to your followers of an AU they loved. It was not meant for you. It was not meant to accuse you of anything. it was solely a vent, full emotional bs rant keyboard smashed onto a page. If I could go back and redo things, it would never have been written in the first place. I wish you had continued your AU. I really wish none of this had happened.

I have been waiting 2 years to be able to say that. @shattereddreamsau I know nothing I say can make up for the two years, but if you’d be willing to talk about anything, I’m fully open to making up for this in any way I can. I know I can’t take it back, the internet lives on forever, but know that I will do whatever it takes to make it better if you’re open to that. If not, and I totally understand if you want absolutely nothing to do with me, but I do hope you see this and know I am truly sorry. If you do reply, I ask we continue it privately so we can sort this out away from tumblr.

I avoided making this type of post on tumblr for the last two years to avoid other people getting involved and to avoid causing you more problems, but since the essay has now been posted here, I am here to take responsibility for writing it.

I appreciate the effort people put into AUs even if I don’t like them. I hope you know I appreciate different opinions on AUs. I’m glad to see people find enjoyment out of things I do not. I do not ever want to take that away from someone, and I hope in the last two years, you have seen me make an effort to keep my criticisms properly hidden/tagged and short/respectful. AUs are supposed to be fun. I never want something like this to happen again and will do my best to make sure it doesn’t.

[ginger-grimm]

I could scream at the top of my lungs about how fatphobia is a real thing but I know most skinny people would then try and divert the attention away from that because "skinny people have insecurities too 🥺"

Literally no-fucking-body says you don't. I am aware that skinny people have insecurities and that they get bullied too and I absolutely find it wrong to tell really small and skinny people to eat more, but I genuinely don't think most skinny people (like the ones who go through their life at a normal BMI and have never had their weight commented on) understand how heartbreaking it is to be seen as inherently disgusting and to be used as "thinspo" and to not find any cute clothes in your size (most clothes I wear look like something my 40 something year old mom would put on) or have a doctor talk about weightloss when you come with in with a cold, etc.

Some days all I do is walk down the street, the park, or simply sit somewhere and people laugh at me, insult me, etc.

I've had people spit on me, kick me, stick food to my clothes, throw rocks and snowballs at me starting from the age of 9. It is draining to always anticipate being heckled when a group of people walk by you. It is tiring to actively avoid large gatherings in the park because you're afraid of being laughed at. It's exhausting to be on tiktok and watch disingenious people post "this is not healthy" under the guise of "caring for them (a complete stranger who didn't ask for unsolicited "health advice") and that fat people in general literally can't post anything unless they're funny or whatever.

I get that skinny people get made fun of for their possible underweight too but at the end of the day, there aren't hundreds, thousands of weight gaining companies and products pushed onto you. You can go to the doctor for an illness without having your weight brought up. You don't have people staring at you in public when you eat a fucking sandwich for lunch (seriously, I don't eat anything in front of mass group of people because they will stare).

And if you're one of those skinny people who purposefully choses to tell their fat friend "Ugh, I look so fat today. I feel so gross." you can absolutely go to hell. I get that EDs and body dysmorphia are a thing, but when you actively turn to your fat friend and spout that nonsense I can't deal with you. It's worse when the fat friend turns it around on them "If you're fat then what am I?" "Oh, but it looks good on you. You really pull it off!" You are contradicting yourself and what does that even mean?

I just wish people would see that being skinny ≠ healthy and big people can absolutely be healthy (i.e. eat healthy meals, be extremely active) and just have an illness or a shitty metabolism.

[fallingfor-fics]

Teachers Pet- chapter 4: introductions

All chapters

chapter 3

I woke up to the Grandfather clock in Dumbledore's office chiming, if I counted correctly, 6 o'clock. The sunlight beaming in through the small circle cleared on the window. Although I was still dreading this day I figured I'd want to be ready and awake when it was time to begin my very first day at Hogwarts. I laid on my back looking up at the ceiling getting lost in thought for a moment thinking of all the things that could go horribly wrong. 

Eventually I lifted the covers off myself and swung my legs out of the bed stepping on the cold stone flooring. I yawned, stretching my arms up and cracking my neck and back. I got up and went to my luggage. I paused for a moment wondering what I should wear since I didn't have a uniform yet. I looked over what I had and contemplated my choices. I wanted to try to look the part and not stand out too much. I grabbed my black boots and a simple dark green turtleneck sweater I had that used to be my grandpas that I snagged from my dad's closet since he never wore it. I looked over my bottom options trying to remember what the students were wearing. I remembered seeing some in skirts and some in pants. I just decided on some simple black leggings and figured I would have my coat on anyways so it didn't matter a whole lot and once I got my uniforms I would change into them as soon as possible. Probably as soon as I purchased them in the nearest restroom. I took my clothes in the bathroom and went pee and got dressed. I then brushed my teeth and splashed my face with some cold water.

As I exited the bathroom I stopped and grabbed my hairbrush and some makeup from my bag, I didn't wanna look too rough on the first day. Thinking of that made me think of all the new people. There are a ton of students here, girls and boys. What if they make fun of me for not being in a uniform. No, no they wouldn't, Albus wouldn't run a school that bullied people. And if they do that fine ill just hit them with a hex or something. I can defend myself just fine. I always did at Beauxbaton's. I remember my first year there were some girls that messed with me for having a hole in my tights since I knew my mom couldn't afford to buy me new ones after she explicitly told me to not rip them. And they would continue to tease me for other things, anything. But one day in my second year I got tired of it and turned all of their hair green. Of course they screamed and freaked out and I got in trouble, but I didn't care because no one messed with me after that. There was still the occasional comment or unsolicited opinions but I like to think I'm pretty smart and quick witted so I usually always had a response to them.

   I grabbed the brush and brushed my h/c hair and pulled some from each side back into a small clip. I grabbed my makeup bag and applied some concealer here and there, brushed my brows out, and curled and applied mascara to my lashes. I contemplated some light eyeliner but I didn't wanna risk messing it up and running late, I hadn't done any in awhile and probably fell out of practice. I figured this was decent enough and put on some simple pearl earrings and a silver necklace that had a small sun and moon charm. It was a gift from my sister years ago and I would wear it almost everyday. She said it reminded her of us, the sun and moon, she liked to think she was the sun and I was the moon but I said I didn't revolve around her, but she was older so it made sense she was the sun. I took one last look in the mirror, some of my shorter hairs falling from the clip and I tucked them away from my face. I didn't really like stuff in my face. I contemplated putting on my glasses or my contacts. I figured the last thing I needed was to look like a nerd so I put my contacts in and exited the bathroom. Just as I was packing up my things I heard Dumbledore knock on my door. "Come in," I answered. He opened the door and smiled at me. "Well you're up and at em" he snickered. I smiled at him as I applied chapstick and sprayed on some perfume. It smelt like roses and an old lady. But I still liked the smell. It was like my signature scent. "Are you ready for your first day here at Hogwarts my dear?" Dumbledore asked cheerfully. "A little nervous, but mostly ready" I sighed. "Ok well to give an overlay of your day, you can leave all your belongings here and I will have one of the house elves bring it over to your dormitory when you get sorted. And then I have arranged a student to show you around and then travel with you to Hogsmeade to get your uniforms and stationary items once you are given your schedule. It should only take but half the day, at least up until lunch and then from there you can go to the remaining classes of the day." he said with a witty smile standing in the doorway with his hands together. "Wow sounds like a plan!" I said nervously. Realizing this was actually happening there was no stopping it, and I would have my first day at Hogwarts starting in the next thirty minutes. I looked over to the clock and it read 6:30. "Oh and breakfast is from 6:30-8:30am so we should probably head to the Great hall now so we can get you sorted and seated in time" he added. I felt a nervous tingle spread in my chest at the thought of being sorted again in front of different people, having no idea how their sorting ceremonies went. I was gonna ask but I didn't wanna look stupid so I went with it. "Wonderful I'm all ready to go." I smiled putting my coat on, tucking my wand in my boot and grabbing my bag from the post and throwing it over my shoulder.

He headed out towards his office and I silently followed behind all the way down those odd stairs again and down the hallway. After what seemed like quite some time we approached large doors that were open, which I assumed was the so-called great hall, and kids were shuffling in and taking their seats. Some saying small good mornings to Dumbledore. He went into the great hall and I followed directly behind him, my heart suddenly beginning to beat faster. What looked to be most of the school had already arrived to their seats and conversed amongst each other. Some I could tell were obviously first years by their innocent faces, and others I could tell had seen some shit and were at least 5th years. I took deep breaths as I followed him up some stairs to where the teachers sat, where I presumed, to eat. I looked over at some of them and back to Dumbledore. He walked me over to the table to do some quick introductions. "Good Morning everyone this is my Goddaughter y/n that I told you all about" Dumbledore said to them they all smiled and said small hellos to me. "This Professor Lockhart teaches Defense against the dark arts" he said as I looked at the very interesting man. He was smiling largely up at me, almost to largely, it was kind of creepy. "Hello" I said softly. He then took my hand and shook it and then brought it to his mouth to kiss it. I tugged it away quickly after he did so and he said "Good morning y/n! It is so wonderful to meet your acquaintance, I can not wait to have you in my class! I have heard so many things about you and you are much more grown than Dumbledore had described." I looked at him and just gave a soft smile not really knowing how to respond to that. I lightly and discreetly pushed Dumbledore's side to encourage him to keep moving so I didn't have to retain eye contact with this Lockhart fellow. "And this is Hagrid as you met yesterday" "Good Morning Hagrid it's good to see you again." I smiled at him "Pleasures all mine, I teach care of magical creatures" he boomed. "Oh nice" I said as we kept going with our introductions. "This is Professor McGonagall she teaches Transfiguration" She gave a simple nod to which I returned. "And this is Professor Flitwick he teaches charms" I smiled and nodded at the small man with a thick mustache. "Oh and It appears Professor Snape has not joined us yet, but he teaches potions, and this is Madam Pomfrey the matron here at Hogwarts, and last but not least Professor Trelawney who is the Divination teacher" he said I smiled at the kind looking woman who had rather large hair and glasses. She looked like a lot of fun.

"Ok now that all the introductions have been made, it's already," he stopped to look at his watch " 7 o'clock I would say this would be a good time to get the show on the road" he said smiling down at me. I laughed nervously and realized no one had paid any attention to me yet, but that was about to change. Don't get me wrong sometimes I love to be the center of attention, but not in strange and new places. He stepped past me and up to his podium, I stood kind of behind him and waited to see what was next. He cleared his throat and began. "Good Morning students, I hope you have all had a good weekend, before we get breakfast started I have an announcement to make, or rather an introduction. We have a new student joining us today, she has transferred from Beauxbatons. And let me add she is my Goddaughter and I am very pleased to have her here with us at Hogwarts." he looked over at me and nudged his head for me to come up next to him, I did so and looked over the full room of students, making sure to not make eye contact with them. Some were still having quiet conversations but halted when I stepped up, and turned their attention to me. "This is y/n, she is in her 6th year and has not been sorted yet but we will do that in just a minute." I smiled a small smile at the students or should I say my new classmates overlooking the rows upon rows of them "I have high hopes that you will treat her with respect and make her feel welcome!" he spoke loudly. Some of the more obnoxious students yelling "hellos" from their tables. "Now come sit and we will sort you into your house" he said as I followed him around the podium and to a chair in front of it.

Unbeknownst to me Professor Snape walked in out of my view, as I was focused on the students that I was displayed in front of and took his seat behind me. I sat nervously watching as Dumbledore walked over and grabbed an old dusty faded brown witch hat and carried it over to me, he is putting this thing on my head? I sat still and upright as he gently placed it atop my head. All of the sudden the thing began to speak, startling me a bit. "Hmmm very interesting," it said and I sat patiently wondering what that was supposed to mean. "Tough one, compassionate but stubborn" I rolled my eyes at that comment, even an old hat could tell I was hard headed? "Smart but will do anything to be proven right" how dare he expose me like this, I was beginning to think this was some trick to humiliate me, a few of the students snickered at that and I shot them cold looks. "No doubt, clear to see...SLYTHERIN!" The hat yelled and an uproar of cheers came from the table on the far right, I didn't know if this was a good or bad thing but based on the looks of some of the students and Professors faces it was probably not the most popular. Dumbledore took the hat from my head and I shot him a concerned look to which he just winked and smiled. I smiled and looked over the tables, the Slytherin one still cheering. "This is going to be interesting"

[nordleuchten]

La Fayette in Prison - Part 3 - Neisse

We continue our journey from Magdeburg to Neisse, a town in the region of Schlesien. Schlesien originally belonged to Austria but was annexed by the Prussian King Frederick the Great in 1741 and included into the territory of Prussia. Neisse is today part of Poland. At first La Fayette was the only one of the prisoners who was transferred to Neisse. Alexander Lameth was too ill to be transferred. He stayed behind in Magdeburg and was eventually released on parole. He recovered and enjoyed many more years on this earth. The two other prisoners, Latour-Maubourg and Bureaux De Pusy, were first transferred to a prison in Glatz and only from there to Neisse were they stayed roughly twelve days before being brought together with La Fayette to the infamous prison in Olmütz. La Fayette therefor stayed the longest in Neisse. He arrived there, once more heavily guarded on his way, on January 16, 1794 and stayed until May 17 of the same year.

Now would be the perfect time to wonder why the prisoners were so frequently removed from one place and brought to another. Wesel was never intended was a permanent solution. It had simply been the nearest secure prison at the time of the groups arrest. But what with Magdeburg? After all, in 1805/6 Magdeburg was by far the safest and most secure fortress in all of Prussia. The problem in 1794 was, that there was a war going on – and it did not looked too good for the Prussians. The Prussian King was slowly but surely considering the possibility that he would be force to make peace with France. Such a peace treaty would most certainly include handing over his prisoners. He therefor brought the prisoners to Neisse, a town close to the Austrian border, and negotiated with the court in Vienna the transfer of the prisoners in order to prevent their release. The court in Vienna obviously agreed and that is how the prisoners came to Olmütz. La Fayette was distraught about being separated from the others but as soon as he could he wrote them that he was well and that they should not worry too much about him. I wrote in the post about Wesel, that his servant Augustus stayed with him and that another man, Pontonnier, was forced to leave him. Well, it seems as if Pontonnier was not a valet but his secretary and therefore stayed with him. There is also mentioning of another valet, a man who was called Pierre Compte/Comte, who also stayed with La Fayette ... you see with regard to his staff I am a tiny bit confused .... but it seems as if Pierre and Pontonnier were certainly with him and concerning Augustus, well, I think I have to go on and do little bit of digging to find out where exactly his guy had been in 1794. In Neisse La Fayette once again fell ill and this illness seemed to be so worrisome that he thought he would not make it. He also feared that this sudden move from Magdeburg to Neisse was in preparation of his execution. With these two things in mind he wrote a short farewell-letter to his family:

“Adieu, then, my dear wife, my children, my aunt (...) whom I shall cherish to my last breath.”

There were other letters from that time, not from La Fayette but from his friends, that I would like to show you. But first, there is actually one handwritten document from La Fayette from his time in Neisse. It is the short excerpt from a written statement that La Fayette made and today part of the online collection of the Wien Museum.

Now, on to the other letters. The first letter is by Joseph Brown who wrote to George Washington from England, giving a short report upon a recent debate in the House of Commons. He wrote on April 2, 1794:

“N.B. You will probably Sir before the receipt of this Letter have heard that an ineffectual attempt has been made in our Ho. of Commons to stir the Governmt to interfer in behalf of your ill-fated Friend (my respectable & ⟨va⟩lued Correspondent) M. de la Fayette: Burke opposed it on the ground of his having been in Arms against this Country: whereas he saw no improperiety formerly in himself moving for the enlargemt of Mr Laurens, who had been a President of Congress from the Tower, & afterwards meeting him at my House, though the motion was not immediately successful.”

The next letter is from Doctor James McHenry. McHenry wrote Washington on April 3, 1794:

“I thought that perhaps it might come within your view at this juncture to send a commissioned person to Vienna to solicit the release of Mr la Fayette with powers to proceed to France on a like errand in favor of his wife and children, in order that the whole might be removed to this country. I perceive by the act of Congress for discharging his pay during the war the new obligation you have laid up on your unfortunate friend. If it is possible to go beyond pecuniary aid, or so far as to restore him to liberty and his family how would he rejoice to owe that blessing to the man he affectionates most upon earth; and what sublime pleasure to me to be an humble instrument in its accomplishment. The friendship he has always expressed for me; the friendship I feel for him; a conviction of the patriotism of his principles and purity of his motives; the esteem in which he is still held by America; a remembrance of the moment and his youth when he embarked in our cause, and the services he rendered it in the course of our revolution, all conspire to make such a project peculiarly interesting to the feeling heart: at the same time, Sir, you must be sensible, you who on former occasions have not deemed me unworthy some portion of your confidence, that such a mission would reflect upon you its author, and from whom alone it ought to proceed, as long as exalted friendship shall be ranked among the virtues, a lustre which philosophy must delight to contemplate and history to diffuse among mankind for their benefit or instruction. The friendship of Achilles for his dear Patroclus, as celebrated by Homer, has survived the fate of empires and the charges of time, as if destined to serve as a perpetual monument sacred to friendship. May not another Homer arise to consign yours for Fayette to equal immortality, and tears of pleasure flow at its recital like an exhaustless stream through the long period of future ages.”

McHenry was aide-de-camp to Washington was well as to La Fayette during the Revolutionary War. His letters touches on McHenrys feelings for La Fayette, on Washington’s friendship for La Fayette and how this friendship was perceived by others but also illustrates how many people tried to help La Fayette. It also touches on the act from Congress that I discussed in the Magdeburg-post. Furthermore, there is a little, almost comical detail. McHenry wrote this letter in a town in Maryland, conveniently named Fayetteville after the Marquis de La Fayette.

Last but not least there is this wonderful letter from Washington himself addressed to the Prussian King. A cabinet meeting some time prior had deemed it acceptable for Washington to write as a private citizen on behalf of La Fayette. Here is the protocol of said cabinet meeting:

At a meeting of the heads of departments at the President’s, on the fourteenth day of January 1794. It was propounded by the President, whether in consideration of the eminent services of M. de la Fayette, to the U. S. and his present sufferings, it be not adviseable for the President, in a private, and unofficial character, to address to the King of Prussia a letter, requesting his release on parole, founded on motives of personal friendship only. The opinion is, that such a letter is proper to be written. H Knox Alexander Hamilton Edm: Randolph

And here is Washington’s letter – it gets me time and time again ...

“Philadelphia Jany 15th 1794. Sire, However unusual it may be for your Majesty to receive an address from a person, who, at the very moment of making it, disclaims the exercise of any public function, and acts as a private individual; yet it is believed from your illustrious character, that the Motives, which lead me to the Measure, will serve as an ample apology. I cannot longer resist the impulse of friendship, to lay before you, who know so well, how to appreciate its force, my personal and affectionate anxiety for the welfare of M. de la Fayette. Report informs us, that he is under confinement in the dominions of Prussia, and therefore at your disposal. At an early period of his life—at a season, and on an occasion, far remote from the time and causes, which have subjected him to his present condition, he pursued his military career, with so much benefit to my country, and honor to himself, that he acquired a most endearing place in my affections. A sincere attachment then commenced was strengthened by an intercourse which continued after the return of peace had seperated us until more active and interesting scenes served to interrupt it. Upon the events, which succeeded, I shall be silent; only entreating your Majesty to be persuaded, that as I seperate myself, in this letter, from my official station, to render a tribute to your liberality; so I beg to be understood as intending to observe that delicacy, which becomes every man, whose country has, with perfect sincerity, cherished peace and impartiality towards the whole world. Permit me then to ask and obtain from your Majesty, a favor, in which the most lively sensibility of my fellow-citizens is engaged—the release of M. de la Fayette on his parole—If his word should not be deemed a sufficient pledge, I shall regret, that your Majesty does not entertain the same conviction of fidility, as a full experience has impressed upon myself. But I can never be persuaded of the possibility of his departing from that innocence of conduct, which is always to be expected from a prisoner of war. This request, unsolicited by, and unknown to him asks the patronage of your Majesty’s sensibility; and is dictated by a confidence, that he could not be in the power of any sovereign, who would more delight in indulging a friendship, which cannot acquit itself, without thus endeavouring to deliver him, under your benevolent auspices. I pray God to preserve your Majesty in his holy keeping Go: Washington”

Washington made it clear that he wrote as George and not as President Washington. He send the letter to Thomas Pinckney, the ambassador to Great Britain, who in his turn passed the letter on to John Markham Marshall for him to deliver the letter to the Prussian King. In June of 1794 Marshall wrote Pinckney how things had developed:

“I deliverd your letter to Prince Henry of Prussia on the 28th of April and at the same time declared to him my intention of following implicitly his advice in the business which had been entrusted with me—he appeard highly gratified by the confidence which was placed in him, and express’d himself in terms of the warmest admiration of our President, & friendship for M. de la Fayette. Whilst I remain’d with him he wrote a letter to the King his Nephew—informing him of the letter with which I was charged, and urgin⟨g⟩ a compliance with the request which it contained On my departure from Rheinsbg—his Royal highness gave me a letter to the Minister of State on the same subject who immediately inform’d me that nothing could be done for M. de la Fayette, as an agreement had actually taken place by which he was to be deliver’d up to the Austrians and he added that probably the agreement was already executed. he spoke favorably of M. de la Fayette & lamented that it was not in the power of Prussia to comply with the request of his friends[.] As the only chance which remain’d, I endeavor’d to discover if it were possible to prevail on the ministry to favor the escape of Fayette from the fortress where he was confined. [Philipp Karl] Alvensleben the Minister of State to whom I made the proposal, acknowledged his wish that it could be done but declared to me that it was too late[.] I could not press the subject further but as the Minister had not said that M de la Fayette was actually in the hands of the Austrians, I wrote requesting permission to se⟨e⟩ him before that event took place, intending if my request was grantd to renew my proposal. I enclose you the answer of Alvensleben, my business with him was at an end. I wrote, as I had promis’d, to give Prince Henry an account of my want of success, & to enquire if he could point out any step by which I could yet be of service to M. de la Fayette[.] the answer by the Baron [Karl Friedrich Hieronymus] Münchausen I enclose you, I can not very well understand it, but I clearly perceiv’d that Prince Henry could do nothing for Fayette, and as I did not wish to be obliged to converse with him, on what our government might possibly yet do to procure his enlargement, I declined the invitation to Rheinsburg”

La Fayette had met Prince Henry in the autumn of 1785 during the Prussian Review of 1785. They were on rather friendly terms with La Fayette writing to Washington on February, 6 1786:

“(...) prince Henry I Have Kept for the last, because it is By far the Best Acquaintance I Have Made—I don’t Examine who is the Greater General His Brother or He, a Question that divides the Military World—But to Abilities of the first Rate, Both as a soldier and a politician—to a perfect litterary knowledge, and all the Endowments of the Mind—He joins an Honest Heart, philantropic feelings, and rational ideas on the Rights of Mankind—I Have spent a fortnight with Him in His Country seat and We Keep up an epistolary Correspondance (...)”

With that in mind, I actually believe Prince Henry when he expresses his sympathy for La Fayette.

There is not much more to say about La Fayette’s stay in Neisse and so we can finally move on to Olmütz. Olmütz will take some time because there is simply sooo much to discuss. La Fayette’s imprisonment in general, his failed escape, the arrival of his family, and more. Bevor we tackle Olmütz though, I would like to take the time to talk about Adrienne’s fate in the meantime.

[canonicallysoulmates]

Yesterday, there were like 3 j2 interviews released, today there’s been some more, it’s been a flood. The boys are looking handsome and beautiful, Jared got a haircut and I am screaming but he looks soooo goood! 

I do have some thoughts so let’s get into them...

quick preface this post is only about j2 so i’m not including their tvline interview were they talk about the final episodes in this that will get its own post

The Talk:

There were some technical problems with Jensen so the interview was almost all solo Jared. 

He talked about the final day of shooting and said that while he expected to cry he just felt proud ❤ 

He was asked if there was a moment he knew he had a “brother for life” in Jensen and Jared started by sharing how they met and instantly clicked with both being Texan boys and having so many things in common followed by bringing up how they got jumped early into filming and how Jensen had his back and vice versa, that was such a pivotal moment in their relationship and even know years later you can tell how much it still means to Jared that Jensen had his back.

They brought up the matching tattoos and Jared showed his! 😍

Jared got asked about the time him and Jensen were roommates. Uh...okay, this surprised me - not the fact that they were roommates I already knew that info but that he was asked about it cause this [them having lived together] feels like some forgotten part of j2 history. It’s not something that’s brought up, it’s not asked about, it was possibly even blacklisted, I can’t even recall the boys bringing it up at least not in recent years. Honestly, if it wasn’t because the hats and j2 fans from back in the day saved this info for future fans I feel like this is a fact that might have been lost to time, so to hear Sharon ask him about it threw me for a loop. Was this a one-off question or is this a part of j2′s history we’re now going to get to know more about? 

Jared responded pretty much the same way he did back in 2009 saying they would spend their days working out, playing guitar, cooking steaks that he can’t remember them ever talking about work once they got home, that at home they could just be Jared and Jensen. 

I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m not used to hearing them talk about this part of their story but it kinda feels like Jared himself is not used to talking about this topic, at least not in a professional interview setting....I really wish Jensen had been in the interview cause I’m curious as to what reactions he would have had or what he would have said in response to this question. 

Jensen was not available for most of the interview portion but the technical problems did get fixed in time for the boys to play ‘Know your Bro’

The boys got sent paddles with their faces and for reason Jensen’s Jared paddle had makeup I would like the story behind that 😂

Oh you think this being a virtual interview and Jensen having technical problems is gonna stop these two from acting married? How wrong you are! They got asked who has the messier dressing room to which Jensen replied Jared and Jared literally went no sir, no sir while holding the Jensen paddle. 

Jensen was straight out of fucks this day, they got asked which one was more likely to forget their wedding anniversary and after they both paused for a minute he, very seriously looking, answered both of them. Jared answered Jensen was most likely to forget but when he saw Jensen’s response he lifted his paddle too then bless his heart tried to do a smooth save by saying for both of them their wives were their rocks to which Jensen nodded and said ‘yeah we don’t get a choice’. And Jared then said ‘plus they’re both Italian so they’ll beat us up’. That’s...romantic, nothing says you better remember our happiest day as a couple like the threat of a beating... No comment.

Full interview: The Talk | J2 interview 

CW Arkansas interview:

They did a little mini interview with CW Arkansas and were asked what those final days of filming were like and Jensen got all emotional saying that 15 years ago him and Jared got on this rollercoaster together, that they didn’t separate for 15yrs and it was no different for the final week of filming, calling it a beautiful ride and that he couldn’t have asked for a better partner 🥺❤

Full Interview: CW Arkansas | J2 interview

CNN written interview:

The boys also did an interview with CNN that was released today, talking about the show and it’s legacy. 

They admit it’s gonna be an adjustment for them to not be working together, with Jensen saying “So, it will be different, and that’s probably when he and I will call each other and be like, ‘I miss you so much!’” We know Jensen, we know.

Jared talks about how on spn they went through deaths, and marriages, and births, and divorces and honeymoon phases and all this things and then:

Jensen: “Oh, I thought you meant we fell in love” 

Jared: “We fell in love too” 

said in a supposedly joking manner according to the author of the piece, who proceeded to add that plotline is only in fanfiction (weird thing to add but okay) Jensen replied “or was it?” [i will add and make of it what you will that the word the author used was not replied but retort which means to ‘say something in answer to a remark or accusation, typically in a sharp, angry or wittily incisive manner’ again make of that what you will but if we go by that definition of retort it sounds like Jensen didn’t like the authors unsolicited addition] 

Jared laughed and said “There it goes the internet.”

For some reason that whole exchange gave me early 2000′s j2 flashbacks which I don’t even know how it’s possible I didn’t even know who these men were back then...

They also said they’d like to do conventions again, and actually the boys are currently scheduled for 2021 conventions so 🤞 they’ll be able to do them. 

I gotta say that it seems like the person who wrote this piece doesn’t really know Jared and Jensen’s sense of humor or how to read them well so I really wish this had been a video interview instead of a written one; I will also add that I found it interesting that the author mentioned Jared being on a road trip back to Austin but didn’t say the same for Jensen even though we know the both of them had been road tripping together, make of that what you will. 

CNN interview 

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

another unsolicited relationship advice post:

okay. i know that there’s probably thousands of relationship advice posts on here. but anyway. to my younger followers, if i have any:

if anyone that you’ve just met declares that you’re “girlfriend material” or “boyfriend material” and that you must simply meet their parents NOW! or some other ridiculously short interval (like a week say), instead of, idek, like a month or two into your relationship, know that that is a possible red flag for trying to push the relationship too fast.

i say this as again, bc on some buzzfeed fb post about supposed “nice guys” i commented about my high school stalker/creeper from 2012/2013. who, when i first met him in 2012 at public school, he insisted that after two days of knowing him that i simply “have to meet my (his) mum and my sisters right now! bc you’re girlfriend material and i LOVE you!”

like woah! dude! i’ve known you for a grand total of two fucking days! i absolutely don’t have to meet your family RIGHT NOW (although if i’d ever been stupid enough to actually date my stalker back then, i would’ve had to meet his mum or one of his 4 sisters/all of them at once; at some point anyway…. bc they would’ve had to drive us to dates etc bc neither of us had our Ps (provisional drivers licence here in aus) yet at the time)). because i’m pretty sure the normal window is about 1-2 months? maybe 3-4 months? why the fuck are you so obsessed with the term “girlfriend material”??? what the actual FUCK does that EVEN mean?? get away from me. bc this isn’t love. it’s something else, that i can’t put my finger on.

compare this to clear braces boy from catholic school, who literally took almost 3 years to ask me out; and to even ask for my number. when he’d finally asked for my number right before one set of the winter holidays at the end of term 2/before the start of term 3 in 2010, i was so oblivious as to why he wanted my number…. when he’d never wanted it/asked for it before.

so when he called me, while i was still on the bus home from school, i was panicking like “OH FUCK THATS WHY HE WANTED MY NUMBER!!! HE WANTS TO ASK ME OUT!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!! WHY THE FUCK AM I SO SLOW AND FUCKING DUMB???!!!” he never pressured me to meet his parents (although at 14/15 it was very obvious that that was a standard practice since we couldn’t drive ourselves anywhere lmao). we were basically on equal footing, except for my slowness with cottoning onto him asking me out and why he asked for my number lol.

CBB had never pressured and harassed me about my virginity. he had NEVER harassed me with porn, most especially while at school, unlike mr creeper who LOVED pulling out his porn filled phone and school laptop to show me his overly violent, degrading and aggressive porn. CBB’s flirting method was showing me norwegian black metal bands (or normal metal bands like parkway drive) and making me watch repeats of family guy on his ipod at lunch bc he loved family guy. he never brought up the term “girlfriend material” ever. he treated me like an actual person. and not his own personal fuck doll, that had holes that were conveniently for sticking his useless and clueless ass teenage dick in, again unlike creeper who was hellbent on wanting to act out his favourite violent etc porn on me to let him “take your virginity in a wonderful weekend of sex down the coast and you have to do all things that I LIKE BC THAT’S THAT AND I SAID SO!!!” 🤮🤮. although if i had progressed further than those few weeks with cbb, and my constant *karen from mean girls voice* *fake cough, fake cough* i’m sick *regina george voice* boo, you whore!” act every time i didn’t turn up on date that he’d asked me on…. maybe he could’ve treated me like that. but i’ll never know lol.

so cbb was unlike mr stalker; who was obsessed with my supposed “girlfriend material” status. mr stalker was obsessed with the fact that i had the ability and audacity to basically tell him “no”, by coyly letting him down with “my dad says i can’t date bc it distracts me from school and getting good marks 🙄😑” (which probably wasn’t true, looking back lmao)….. where he then whined PUBLICLY on facebook about it, with a status like “today sucks”… and then naming and shaming me in the comments when someone asked in the post comments what was wrong like: “*insert my name here* said no! she’s being a bitch!”. that at the time, made me roll my eyes and still does today when i think about it. because bro. i had literally only known you for two fucking days at that point. of course i’m going to say no. what the hell??? two days is nowhere near enough time to know a person well enough (although the conversation we had together on misguided trip to his house one day while we were wagging (skipping class/playing hooky for americans) aboriginal studies told me MORE THAN ENOUGH about his piece of shitness tbh) to “date” them imo.

because to me, the title “girlfriend material” doesn’t mean any fucking thing. but when it comes from a creep like mr stalker; it means “you’ll be my girlfriend forever and have my kids bc you’re such a nice girl and you’ll fix me bc that’s what nice girls like you do; bc you’re SO LOYAL AND NICE!” which i also saw as a MASSIVE RED FLAG back then, because we were literally 16yo kids (he literally told me this when we were on his bed in his bedroom in the aforementioned misguided trip to his house). and i also saw it as a red flag bc…. just because i’m “loyal” and “nice” doesn’t mean that i’ll spend LITERAL Y E A R S trying to “fix you” while you fuck around and never bother to change your behaviour all bc you think it’s “girly” to do just that. it definitely DOES NOT MEAN that i’ll have KIDS with you, what the actual fuck. like i’m a hopeless romantic, to an extent, mr creeper. but not to the extent where i’ll give myself up to someone like you, all because i’m “nice and caring” and it’s apparently what “nice girls do!!!” or whatever else fucked up guilt trip views you’ve got on why girls/women supposedly have to waste their time with and on you.

and also, on another front. CBB never FOLLOWED me home (considering he lived in a suburb 20mins away from mine lmao and we both lived at least 15mins away from the catholic school we attended) despite me telling him REPEATEDLY to “fuck off and walk home your way”….. whereas unfortunately, mr creeper lived just over the other side of my suburb.

so one day mr creeper decided to stalk me home (despite me saying the above “fuck off and walk home your way” comment constantly to him in the 10min walk home). and then when we got to my street and in front of my house he decided to joke that “oh now i know where your house and bedroom are, i’ll come to hide under your bed naked one day!!!! and when you get home (bc i’ll obvs do it when you’re out doing something), you’ll just have to FUCK ME because you’ll be so surprised that im there and ready to fuck you!” as if i’d be so overcome with supposed lust & love for him, after knowing that he’d broken into my room against my will and messed with my shit….. all for some cutesy love prank…. like in, idk, love actually (???) or himym (specifically the “naked man!” episode from season 4) or some other shitty romcom. bc no. you’re overstepping SO MANY fucking boundaries that i’d literally call the police on your stupid fucking stalker ass. what the actual fuck.

finally, cbb never forced me to try to kiss him, unlike mr stalker…. who whenever he got the chance, he’d grab my head and force me to kiss him…. and then gave me back the utterly disgusting & controlling GALL to tell me that i was “kissing wrong” and whinge/bitch that i “wasn’t into it”. and then he’d force me to kiss him again with a “im so sorry does this fix it 🥰🥺???” like NO???!!! forcefully kissing me DOES NOT FUCKING FIX ANYTHING YOU STUPID CUNT! please just get the FUCK away from me. like if you force me into anything, of course i’m not going to enthusiastically enjoy it??? and moreover, don’t you think it’s YOU who is “kissing wrong” (whatever the FUCK that bullshit actually means) and not me???? why do you think GRABBING MY HEAD and FORCING me to kiss you is appropriate in ANY of these situations????

just. to end this. to anyone and everyone, regardless of their gender/sexuality/age etc. NEVER trust anyone who uses the term “girlfriend material”/“boyfriend material”, to describe you, most especially when you’ve JUST MET them.

they’re using it as a means to control you and possibly trap you into an unhealthy (or potentially abusive) relationship like i would’ve had with my stalker/creeper. but most especially, this goes out to my younger followers, if i have any. be aware of this. watch out for the small red flags and run at the earliest time.

[hailing-stars]

@febuwhump day 12 who are you

the world minus one 

summary 

“Who the hell are you?”

“Agent Woo,” he says.

“Ha,” says Peter. He grins. “That rhymed.”

“I’ve been assigned to oversee your home detainment,” he tells him, flashing his card as if he were a magician, and they were at a magic show, instead of the most boring place on planet earth

OR

Agent Jimmy Woo is assigned to oversee Peter's house arrest post far from home, and Peter's eyes see probation officer but his brain screams FRIEND.

Peter considers chopping his foot off.

Did he really need two feet? Maybe Mr. Stark could fashion him a prosthetic like he did for his own Infinity Gauntlet damaged arm, or maybe Peter could spend one of his annoyingly long days trapped inside this apartment figuring out how to do it himself.

He’s exiled to a much larger apartment than the one he and May share in Queens, but somehow, it still manages to be cramped and suffocating, as if the air there was thick and might smother him before the boredom drove him up the walls.

That is if his ankle monitor doesn’t choke the life out of him first.

He pulls at it, itching at it from his place sitting in the middle of the living room floor, when the doorbell rings and Peter stops, he frowns. Mr. Stark isn’t expected to visit him today, and May isn’t due for dinner until a couple of hours.

With a sigh, he stands and walks across his apartment. He opens the door to an unfamiliar face wearing a familiar and unwelcome FBI jacket.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Agent Woo,” he says.

“Ha,” says Peter. He grins. “That rhymed.”

“I’ve been assigned to oversee your home detainment,” he tells him, flashing his card as if he were a magician, and they were at a magic show, instead of the most boring place on planet earth.

It’s an awkward moment. Him just standing there, in the hall, and Peter basks in his ability to make a Fed sweat.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“Are you a vampire?”

“...I’m sorry?”

“Vampires,” sighes Peter. “They have to be let in. Feds usually don’t wait for an invitation. Not used to one having manners.”

Peter walks away from the door, leaving it open, and hoping that’s enough of an invitation. It isn’t like he has a choice anyway.

Agent Woo shuts the door behind him, and something stabs at Peter. He’s being rude. His aunt taught him better than that, and there’s something about Agent Woo that Peter decides he likes. The magic trick, maybe.

Peter offers him coffee. Agent Woo looks over at the kitchen, which is admittedly a disaster zone, and politely declines.

“So, what’s your job?” asks Peter. He clears a space off of the dining room table for them to both sit down. “Making sure I’m not staging an escape attempt?”

“Basically, I’ll be dropping by from time to time, to ensure you’re behaving yourself,” says Agent Woo. “Tony Stark did bribe me to harass you about your online classes and that’s not typically part of my job description, I need the money for my children’s college -”

“-you have kids?”

“Not yet, but I plan to, and with the way the economy is-” Agent Woo pauses. “We’re really supposed to be talking about you.”

“I’m behaving myself,” says Peter. “I’m attending my online classes, and I’ve got no plans to take up a new identity and flee the country. Now back to you. Anyone special you’re planning on having these kids with? I need all the details.”

It’s true. He does.

There isn’t much entertainment in his life what with being locked up in an apartment, spending most of his days alone. It’s for May’s safety that they aren’t able to live together during his house arrest, during the massively long stretch of time before his trial, but that doesn’t mean Peter likes it.

Agent Woo spills something about a doctor before pausing a second time and getting back on track. He recites the same information Peter’s heard before. It’s really boring and a waste of time, but Peter supposes he’s got lots of it to waste, anyway.

“Any questions for me?” Agent Woo asks, once he’s finished with his spiel.

“Can you show me how to do that magic trick?”

“Maybe another time,” he tells him, then looks around. “You know, a lot of people in your situation find it helps to form a routine and create a clean living space. Waking up in the morning, showering, putting on normal clothes.”

Peter frowns at the sudden callout. “Who says pajamas aren’t normal?”

“Just offering some friendly advice.”

He stands, and heads for the door, telling him he’ll be by in a couple of weeks, when Peter feels the throbbing near his ankle.

“Agent Woo,” says Peter, before he gets to the door. “You wouldn’t, um, know how to loosen the ankle monitor? I may have been what Mr. Stark fondly refers to as tactless with the agent who put it on and they may have retaliated just a little bit.”

So, Agent Woo loosens the ankle monitor, and Peter, once he’s alone in the apartment, collapses on his couch and decides that he and Agent Woo are going to be friends, despite the unsolicited advice.

*

Peter’s prepared the next time Agent Woo visits.

Coffee is going, the apartment is clean, and he’s got five packs of playing cards laid out on the kitchen table. It had been a lot of whining on his part to convince Mr. Stark to drop everything and run to the store and buy them, but this is an emergency. A magic emergency.

He’s also ordered a pizza, and it arrives just as Agent Woo starts his regular round of checkup, interrogation questions.

“Oh, that’s the pizza,” says Peter, when the doorbell rings.

Agent Woo opens his mouth as Peter leaps up from his chair, but ultimately doesn’t say anything. Once Peter’s back to the kitchen table, he opens the box and lets the aroma fill the apartment.

“Want a slice?”

“That would be crossing professional bounds…” says Agent Woo. His voice trailed off. He stared at the pizza. “But that pizza looks really good, and I haven’t had lunch…”

Peter pushes the box closer to the FBI agent. Agent Woo grabs a slice, and official talk about Peter’s detainment falls to the wayside.

“Tell me about the doctor,” says Peter. “Is she pretty?”

Agent Woo obliges, and Peter begins to understand why Woo’s crushing on her so hard. She sounds kickass. And Peter’s rooting for them.

“You gotta ask her out, man,” says Peter. A string of melt cheese hangs off his mouth and swipes it away. “I mean, Agent Woo.”

The agent laughs, and by the time he leaves, Peter knows how to do the magic trick and almost no time was spent talking about his upcoming trial or the conditions of his house arrest.

*

Peter bleeds out on his living room floor.

He hadn’t meant to get stabbed. He hadn’t even meant to step out of his apartment, but it’s getting to him. The confinement. The crime happening below his apartment and he’s expected to sit by and let happen.

Mr. Stark is going to kill him, and he wouldn’t have called him if not for the pain, the unbearable pain of his skin stitching itself back together. Superpowered healing doesn’t come without it’s trauma.

To make matters worse, his doorbell rings, and he isn’t expecting anyone, so he knows it’s Agent Woo.

He inhales deep. He tries freeing his face from displaying the terrifying agony he’s experiencing in his leg, and he limps over to answer the door.

Agent Woo isn’t fooled. “Jesus Christ, is that blood?”

“Is that Delmar’s?” Peter momentarily forgets his situation when he spots the brown bag in Agent Woo’s hand, and when he smells the unforgetful aroma of Delmar’s Deli.

“Forget the sandwiches,” says Agent Woo. He walks into the apartment, helps Peter back to the couch, and places the bag on the coffee table. “What happened to you?”

“Don’t freak out,” he tells him. “I accidentally stabbed myself with a steak knife.”

Agent Woo stands, crosses his arms. “I’m supposed to believe you did that to yourself? On accident?”

“To be fair,” says Peter. “You’ve known me long enough to know that’s also extremely probable.”

“How could you do this,” says Agent Woo. He isn’t angry. His voice sounds the same as Mr. Sark’s had on the phone. Worried. Afraid for him, and what’s done, putting his own privilege of pretrial house arrest on the line for a few minutes fighting petty criminals. “You know what’s at stake if you break the rules.”

“I know,” says Peter, softly. “I’m sorry.”

“We need to put pressure on that.”

Agent Woo disappears from his sight and returns with a towel he carefully ties around Peter’s leg wound.

“Are you sure you don’t need a hospital?”

Peter shakes his head. “Spider healing will work it’s magic.”

He closes his eyes and tries to block out the pain, and when that doesn’t work, he decides a distraction is what he needs.

“Tell me about Dr. Lewis,” he says, through a grimace. “Have you asked her out yet?”

Agent Woo sits on the couch next to him. “Not yet.”

“You gotta get on that,” says Peter. “Before someone else does.”

“I don’t know about that, Pete,” he tells him. “I don’t know if someone like her would say yes to someone like me.”

“Someone like you? Someone who’s a nice person? And likes all the same cheesy sit-coms as her?” asks Peter. “Dude, you two are perfect for each other. You’re gonna ask her, and she’s going to say something like geez, finally, I was waiting for you to get a clue, and then you’ll have little Dr. Lewis-Woos running around all over the place.” He stops, the pain stabs, and he keeps going. “She’d be lucky.”

“Thanks, Peter.”

“Anytime,” says Peter, his voice cracking. The edges of his vision blur, but he’s able to focus on the brown bag on the coffee table. “You really brought me Delmar’s?”

“Last time I was here you said how much you missed it.”

“Make a habit of doing favors for murders? Fun.”

The pain’s making him more bitter, more honest, more angsty about the fact that the entire world thinks he’s killed that clown Mysterio. Maybe that’s what his temporary escape is really about. Trying to prove that he’s good. That he’s against the crimes people say he’s committed.

“I know you’re not a murderer.”

The entire world minus one, he guesses, along with his friends and family.

“You believe me?”

“I’ve dealt with killers before,” says Agent Woo. “You’re not one of them.”

Peter feels lighter, better even in his leg, by the idea of someone like Agent Woo believing his innocence. Gives him hope maybe his house arrest will end with freedom instead of prison, like Mr. Stark has been telling him from the start.

His good feeling doesn’t last long, though, because Mr. Stark barges through the door and Peter’s spidey senses know he’s about to get a lecture.

“How could you be so stupid?”

“Mr. Stark -”

“-No,” says Mr. Stark. “No excuses. I’ve warned you over and over again. Where is it?”

Peter pulls the device he’d built to interfere with the ankle monitor out from his pocket, and hands it over to Mr. Stark, who breaks it.

“For a genius,” says Agent Woo, as he eyes the broken parts of the interference device. “You really lack common sense.”

Mr. Stark turns his attention to Agent Woo. “Look, Agent -”

“-I’m off duty,” says Agent Woo, standing up from the couch. “Just a guy bringing some sandwiches, and I’ve really got no reason to believe he didn’t slip and fall, uh, on a kitchen knife. Just… never again.”

Peter nods his head. “Okay, yeah, never again.”

Agent Woo leaves them, Mr. Stark softens and gives him his extra strength pain relievers, and Peter drifts off, but not before devouring the sandwiches he loves and dwelling on the tiny spark of hope Agent Woo offered to him.

Not everyone believes he's a murderer, and for that moment, it’s enough.