#this took..........longer than anticipated!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blondemrk · 1 day ago

Text

CHALLENGERS ᯓ⚽︎ jeno + jaemin written series

wc 26.1k

✎ elis note . . hi!! just to clarify, there is a lot of timeskips within each grade! if you have seen the movie you know there are a lot of timeskips in it! if you are confused at any point feel free to leave an ask and i will clarify. be prepared to have ur heart CRUSHED. thank you for reading and remember this is only chapter 1

chapters 1 2 3 masterlist

FRESHMAN YEAR

the sun hung low in the sky, casting a warm glow over the college soccer field where tryouts were underway. y/n stood among the other girls, stretching her legs and loosening her shoulders, her mind racing with the anticipation of the upcoming drills. she had spent countless hours training for this moment—the opportunity to showcase her skills on a bigger stage, to prove that she belonged here just as much as anyone else.

though the focus of the day was on the girls’ team, her eyes kept drifting across the field toward the boys’ team. they were positioned on the opposite side, running through warm-up drills, and among them stood two players who had already made an impression on her—jaemin and jeno.

jaemin had an easy confidence about him, the way he carried himself effortlessly on the ball, dodging defenders and pulling off cheeky flicks. he seemed to be constantly smiling, teasing his teammates as he played. there was something about his energy that made him stand out, and y/n couldn’t help but watch him for a moment longer than she meant to.

jeno, on the other hand, was more reserved. he wasn’t flashy like jaemin, but his quiet intensity was just as captivating. y/n watched him as he moved with precision, his eyes sharp as he read the game, anticipating every pass and movement. he wasn’t loud like jaemin, but there was something in his demeanor that demanded respect.

the whistle blew, signaling the start of the drills, and y/n quickly turned her attention back to her own team, reminding herself of the task at hand. she wasn’t here to watch the boys; she was here to make the team.

a few drills in, y/n found herself in the middle of a fast-paced passing sequence. she was doing well, keeping up with her teammates, but as the ball came to her, it took an awkward bounce. she scrambled to regain control, but before she could, a figure from the other side of the field appeared out of nowhere, intercepting the ball with a swift flick of his foot.

it was jaemin. he grinned playfully as he jogged past her, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of amusement and challenge.

“careful, you almost had it there,” jaemin said, his voice light and teasing. “but i guess i’m just too fast for you.”

y/n shot him a quick look, her competitive streak immediately flaring up. “you got lucky,” she said with a grin, hoping to mask the fact that she’d been caught off guard. “let’s see if you can keep that up.”

jaemin chuckled and walked backwards towards his side of the field, clearly enjoying the exchange. his playful demeanor was hard to miss, and it only fueled y/n’s desire to show him just what she was capable of.

after hours of drills, scrimmages, and practice games, the tryouts were finally coming to a close. the sun had begun to dip below the horizon, painting the sky in shades of pink and orange. y/n, jaemin, and jeno, despite being on opposite teams, found themselves in a shared moment of exhaustion, the competitive tension still hanging in the air between them.

as the coaches gathered the players for one final huddle, jaemin jogged over to y/n, his usual grin in place.

“hey, you did pretty well out there,” he said, a little out of breath but clearly impressed. “didn’t expect you to be that fast.”

jeno, who had been standing nearby, spoke up quietly from behind. “she’s a good player.” he said, his voice low but with a note of sincerity.

y/n was taken aback for a moment by his comment. jeno wasn’t one to offer praise lightly, and she couldn’t help but feel a flicker of respect for him in return.

“thanks,” she said, offering him a small smile. “maybe i’ll make things interesting for you guys this season.”

jaemin’s eyes sparkled at her words, and he raised an eyebrow. “don’t get too cocky now. let's see if you even make the team. rosters come out this friday.”

as the players began to head off the field, y/n felt the excitement of the day’s tryouts settle in. she hadn’t just impressed the coaches—she had caught the attention of jaemin and jeno, two players who had already proven themselves to be forces on the field. there was something about the competitive energy between them that felt like the beginning of something more, a rivalry that would fuel their future interactions and maybe even something else.

for now, though, y/n was just focused on one thing: earning her place on the team.

a couple of days had passed since the intense tryouts, and the anticipation was starting to get to y/n. after all the sweat and effort she’d put into the drills, she couldn’t help but feel anxious. she had a good feeling about making the girls' soccer team, but that nervous energy still lingered, buzzing in her chest.

the gym doors were open, and as y/n made her way toward the bulletin board to check the final rosters, she could already see a small crowd gathered around. some players were chatting nervously, while others stood in tense silence, waiting for confirmation.

as she walked up, her heart skipped a beat. she didn’t even need to scan the list for long. there it was—her name was on the girls’ team roster. a breath of relief left her lips, but before she could fully process the excitement, she heard a familiar voice.

“hey, looks like you made it.”

y/n turned around to find jaemin walking toward her, a grin already plastered on his face. he was holding his phone in one hand and a water bottle in the other, clearly unfazed by the moment. he paused when he noticed her standing in front of the board and gave her a knowing look.

“guess you’re in, huh?”

y/n shot him a look of mock disbelief. “i’m not even surprised that you’re here already,” she said with a small smirk. “were you waiting for me?”

jaemin let out a short laugh, clearly enjoying himself. “not waiting. just knew you’d be here sooner or later. we all know how important this moment is.”

she rolled her eyes playfully, but the nerves that had been there moments ago were quickly replaced by the warmth of his teasing. jaemin had always had that way about him—making everything feel just a little more light-hearted.

“so, what’s the verdict for you?” she asked, her voice a little more casual now that the tension was broken.

jaemin checked his phone one more time before giving a small shrug. “of course i made it,” he said confidently. “i told you, we’re too good.”

y/n chuckled, shaking her head at his typical overconfidence. “yeah, yeah. of course you would say that.”

before she could say more, another figure appeared at the edge of the crowd, and y/n felt her heart skip again when she saw it was jeno. he had a quiet presence about him, yet it seemed like everyone always knew when he entered a room. his eyes scanned the board, his focus intense. he was clearly a bit more reserved than jaemin, but she couldn’t help but feel the tension between them—like he was always observing, quietly sizing up the situation.

jeno stood there for a moment before finally stepping forward, his gaze flicking between y/n and jaemin.

“made it,” jeno said simply, though there was a hint of pride in his voice. he wasn’t one to boast, but the way his lips curled upward suggested that he wasn’t completely unaffected by the moment.

“of course,” y/n said with a smirk, “you were too good not to make it.”

jaemin glanced between them, a gleam in his eye. “yeah, no surprise. the team’s already got some serious competition with us in it.”

y/n raised an eyebrow. “you’re not getting too cocky already, are you?”

jaemin grinned. “i wouldn’t be jaemin if i didn’t.”

jeno, however, kept his usual calm demeanor. “the real work starts now,” he said, his voice steady. “we’ve still got a lot to prove, no matter what roster we’re on.”

y/n couldn’t help but nod in agreement. jeno was always the type to keep his focus on what came next, and it was part of what made him so dangerous on the field.

“well, i guess i’m looking forward to seeing you both play,” y/n said

the three of them stood there for a moment in comfortable silence, the weight of the moment slowly sinking in. they had all made it onto their respective teams, but it was more than just a roster spot now. it was a start to something new. the season ahead would test them in ways they hadn’t fully anticipated, and their interactions—already laced with hints of competitive tension—would only grow more intense as time went on.

“so, what’s next?” y/n asked, breaking the silence and glancing between jaemin and jeno. “now that we’re all here, do we get to start training, or do we have to wait for the coaches to give us the real schedule?”

jeno shrugged slightly, his expression thoughtful. “i’m sure they’ll get us all organized soon enough. but i’m ready to start anytime.”

jaemin raised his eyebrows, looking over at y/n with a grin. “well, looks like you’ll be on the opposite side of the field from me. try not to get too frustrated when i score a few goals.”

y/n laughed, not feeling the sting of his words but rather the playful challenge that came with it. “we’ll see about that. you’ve got nothing on me.”

jaemin chuckled. “we’ll see.”

jeno, standing quietly to the side, offered a small but sincere smile. “see you both on the field,” he said, before turning and walking off, leaving jaemin and y/n to continue their banter.

as y/n watched jeno leave, she felt a surge of excitement. this season would be different. with jaemin’s playful competitiveness, jeno’s quiet intensity, and her own drive to prove herself, there was no doubt that things were going to get interesting.

the weeks passed by quickly, and while y/n’s days were filled with the usual grind of practice, studying, and balancing life as a college student, there was an undeniable shift in her relationship with jaemin and jeno. though they were on different teams, their interactions outside of practice—at lunch, between classes, and during the rare moments when their paths crossed after a game—became more frequent.

jaemin’s playful, cocky personality made him easy to talk to. he’d often tease y/n, joking around about how the boys' team was clearly superior to the girls' team (though y/n knew better). but over time, she noticed a different side to him. when the competition wasn’t in full swing, he was surprisingly thoughtful and considerate. he’d listen intently when she spoke about her personal struggles or frustrations, offering advice in his own carefree yet comforting way.

“don’t let it get to you,” jaemin would say, his usual teasing replaced by a more sincere tone. “you’re good, y/n. don’t forget that.”

y/n had to admit—there was something comforting about his presence. he made her feel like she could take on anything, even if the pressure was starting to get to her. the endless competition between their teams was exhausting, but when jaemin was around, she felt like she could laugh it off.

jeno, on the other hand, was quieter, but there was an unmistakable kindness in his demeanor. though their practices didn’t overlap, they would often find themselves walking to class together or sitting at the same table in the campus café. he didn’t speak as much as jaemin, but when he did, it was always with thoughtfulness and depth.

during one particular afternoon after class, y/n found herself sitting with jeno, both of them sipping on iced coffees as they talked about the season. jaemin had walked off with some of his teammates after a game earlier that day, and jeno had ended up walking with her instead.

“you’ve been playing really well,” jeno remarked, his eyes scanning her face as though trying to gauge her thoughts. “i’ve noticed you’ve been pushing yourself in the last few games.”

y/n smiled, but there was a hint of exhaustion in her eyes. “i guess i have to. the competition’s getting tougher, and it feels like there’s more on the line now. the season’s just started, but it already feels like everything’s building up to something.”

“i get that,” jeno responded quietly. “the boys’ team is tough, too. every match is a challenge, but it pushes us all to be better.”

y/n nodded, appreciative of jeno’s understanding. “i think that’s the hardest part,” she said. “the pressure. i want to be at my best, but sometimes it feels like i’m just trying to catch up.”

jeno looked at her for a moment, as if weighing his words carefully. “you’re not behind,” he said, his tone steady. “you’re right where you need to be. just don’t rush it. we all grow at different paces.”

there was something reassuring in the way he spoke, a calmness that seemed to settle the restless thoughts swirling in her mind. he wasn’t one to give long speeches, but when he did, it had a way of making everything seem clearer.

as the season progressed, y/n found herself spending more time with both jaemin and jeno, and in a way, she had become a bridge between their worlds. despite being on opposite sides of the field, y/n understood how to balance their competitive natures. jaemin’s boldness clashed with jeno’s quiet intensity, but y/n was able to navigate both personalities with ease. she became their sounding board—jaemin would vent to her about the boys’ team, while jeno would talk to her about his focus on improving, his quiet observations of the team dynamic, and how he wasn’t sure if he was pushing himself enough.

one evening after practice, y/n found herself in a small study group with jaemin and jeno, sitting outside the library and working on an assignment that had been lingering on her to-do list. jaemin, ever the extrovert, had managed to convince both her and jeno to take a break from their work and grab coffee together.

“so,” jaemin said, leaning back in his chair and stretching as he glanced between y/n and jeno, “you two talk a lot, huh?”

y/n raised an eyebrow. “what do you mean?”

jaemin grinned. “i mean, jeno’s all quiet and mysterious, but i swear when you two are together, you just get each other. like you’re on the same wavelength or something.”

jeno, who had been focused on the assignment in front of him, looked up at jaemin’s comment, his expression neutral. “we talk about soccer,” he said simply. “it’s easy to relate.”

y/n chuckled, teasing, “i think jaemin’s just jealous. he doesn’t get the same level of understanding from us.”

jaemin laughed. “i get plenty of understanding from people who know how to appreciate my brilliance.” he gave jeno a playful nudge, but it was clear that he was only half-joking.

jeno, in his typical calm manner, shrugged and then turned to y/n with a soft smile. “i don’t mind it,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically light. “it’s nice to have someone to talk to.”

jaemin seemed to sense the shift in jeno’s tone, but instead of pushing further, he let it go. instead, he turned his attention back to y/n. “you really do balance us out, you know?” he said, his voice more sincere this time. “between me always being the loud one and jeno being the quiet one, you’re like the perfect mediator.”

y/n smiled, grateful for the acknowledgment, though she didn’t want to make it sound like it was all about her. “i guess i just know how to handle you both. you’re not as different as you think.”

jeno’s lips curved into a small smile, and for the briefest moment, it felt like the three of them weren’t rivals from different teams. they were just friends, united by their shared experiences on the field, their growing understanding of each other, and their mutual respect.

though the season was still young, y/n couldn’t help but feel that, in some strange way, this dynamic—being the bridge between two competitive worlds—was exactly where she was meant to be.

the shift had been gradual, almost imperceptible at first. the teasing between jaemin and y/n grew more flirtatious, and the moments they spent together outside of practice began to feel more intimate. at first, it was harmless—just the two of them joking around, teasing one another, and enjoying each other’s company. but soon, something deeper began to take root.

one night, after a long practice session, y/n found herself sitting next to jaemin on the bleachers, the rest of the team scattered around the field, cooling down. the air was crisp, and the stadium lights bathed the space in a soft glow. jaemin had been unusually quiet, his fingers absently tracing the rim of his water bottle.

“so,” y/n broke the silence, nudging him with her shoulder, “you’ve been in a weird mood tonight. what’s going on?”

jaemin looked at her, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “nothing. just thinking.”

“thinking? about what?” y/n raised an eyebrow, curious.

jaemin leaned closer, his tone dropping into something more serious, though there was still a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. “about us.”

y/n blinked, her heart skipping a beat. “us?”

jaemin’s smirk widened, and he leaned back, a confident swagger returning to him. “yeah, you know, us. i’ve been thinking maybe it’s time we took this thing between us to the next level.”

the words hung in the air for a moment before y/n could process them. she’d known that jaemin had been flirting with her, but to hear him actually say it out loud—well, it caught her off guard. but something about the way he said it, the light in his eyes, made her heart flutter.

“you mean… like, dating?” y/n asked, her voice softer than she intended.

jaemin nodded, his smile never faltering. “yeah, exactly. i mean, we’ve been spending a lot of time together, right? and i don’t know about you, but i think there’s something here.”

y/n couldn’t deny the pull she felt toward him, the connection that had been building over time. jaemin was fun, easy to talk to, and the chemistry between them was undeniable. she had started to notice the way his smile made her heart race, how his touch lingered just a little longer than necessary.

and yet, there was something nagging at the back of her mind. but the pull to say yes was strong. maybe it was the thrill of something new, or maybe it was the simple fact that jaemin had always been there, cheering her on and making her laugh when she needed it the most.

“i… yeah, i think i’d like that,” she said, the words feeling right as they left her lips.

jaemin’s grin grew wider, and in that moment, y/n couldn’t help but feel like she was making the right choice. his arm slipped around her shoulders, and she let him pull her into a casual embrace. it was easy, comforting, and she couldn’t remember the last time she felt this at ease with someone.

“i knew you’d come around,” jaemin teased, his voice light and playful. “you won’t regret it.”

the next few weeks passed in a whirlwind. jaemin and y/n fell into a rhythm, spending more time together both on and off the field. it felt like the beginning of something real, something exciting. they would grab lunch after practice, hang out with friends on the weekends, and sometimes, they would just sit in the library and study together. jaemin was the one who made her laugh when she needed it most, and she became his quiet support when things were tough.

but despite the obvious chemistry between them, there was an underlying tension, one that neither jaemin nor y/n could sense—but jeno certainly could.

jeno had always been quiet, observant, and good at reading people. it was no surprise that he had noticed the subtle shift between y/n and jaemin. he wasn’t blind to the way they had grown closer, how they’d spent more time together, how their interactions had become more intimate.

and while he genuinely wanted to be happy for them—he did, really—there was an ache in his chest that he couldn’t shake. jeno had always admired y/n from afar, ever since their first days at college. but over time, those quiet moments they had shared began to mean more to him than he could admit. he wasn’t the type to express his feelings easily, and when jaemin made his move, jeno had never once considered that his own feelings for y/n ran deeper than friendship.

now, watching them together was like a slow burn. every time he saw them laughing together or sharing a casual touch, a pang of jealousy twisted in his stomach, but he kept it all to himself. the last thing he wanted was to be the third wheel, especially with someone like jaemin who could make everything seem effortless.

one afternoon, after a particularly intense practice session, y/n and jaemin were talking about their upcoming match when jeno approached them. his usual calm expression was still there, but there was something in his eyes that y/n couldn’t quite place.

“hey,” jeno greeted them with a small nod, his voice a little quieter than usual.

jaemin immediately flashed a grin, ever the extrovert. “what’s up, jeno? you here to remind us that we should be focusing right now?”

jeno’s lips twitched, but the smile never quite reached his eyes. “something like that.”

y/n could sense a slight tension between the two of them, but she couldn’t put her finger on why it felt off. jaemin was still his usual teasing self, but jeno seemed to be holding back, as though something was weighing on him.

“you alright?” y/n asked, her tone concerned. “you seem a little off.”

jeno hesitated for a moment, his eyes flicking between her and jaemin. then, after a beat, he shook his head. “yeah, just… tired. it’s been a long week.”

y/n nodded, giving him a sympathetic look. “i get that. we’ve all been pushing ourselves hard lately. let me know if you need anything.”

“thanks,” jeno murmured, offering a small smile before walking off, his steps quieter than usual.

jaemin watched him go, a slight frown forming on his face. “what was that about?” he asked, glancing at y/n. “he didn’t seem like himself.”

y/n shrugged. “i don’t know. maybe he’s just stressed about the match.”

but in the pit of her stomach, she couldn’t help but feel like there was more to it. jeno had always been the quiet one, but this sudden distance, this quiet tension—it felt like something was brewing underneath the surface.

what y/n didn’t realize was that jeno’s feelings for her weren’t something he could easily ignore. and while he would never voice it out loud, every smile she gave jaemin, every casual touch between them, felt like a painful reminder that what he had silently hoped for was never going to be.

SOPHOMORE YEAR

the championship game was the event everyone had been waiting for. sitting in the stands, jaemins jersey on her back. the air was thick with anticipation as the boys' soccer team prepared for what would be the most important match of the season. y/n sat in the stands, a sea of excited fans around her, but her attention was fixed on the field below. her heart was racing, knowing how much this game meant to her friends, especially jaemin and jeno. the entire team had worked tirelessly for this moment, but more than that, she knew how badly jaemin wanted to win.

her eyes swept over the field, finding jaemin at the center. he was full of energy, dancing around defenders with a cocky grin plastered on his face. the game had started off fast, both teams evenly matched, but jaemin’s confidence was evident. as usual, he was the one to take charge, and the rest of the boys followed suit.

beside him, jeno was more composed. y/n had always admired jeno’s quiet strength—the way he seemed to let his actions do the talking. his steady and calculated style of play was the perfect counterbalance to jaemin’s more energetic and show-off demeanor.

as the game went on, it became clear that it was going to be an intense battle. every pass, every shot, every tackle mattered. the crowd was on the edge of their seats, the atmosphere electric. but then, a pivotal moment came in the second half.

jaemin had just stolen the ball from an opponent and was charging toward the goal with a fierce determination in his eyes. the entire stadium was on their feet, cheering him on as he neared the box, only a few steps away from a perfect opportunity to score. but before jaemin could strike, an opposing player lunged forward, tackling him hard from the side.

y/n gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as jaemin crashed to the ground, his body twisting awkwardly with the force of the impact. the stadium went silent, and even the opposing team seemed to hesitate for a moment, unsure of what had just happened. jaemin stayed down, clutching his leg, his face contorted in pain.

the referee immediately blew the whistle, and players from both teams rushed toward jaemin. y/n’s heart pounded in her chest as she stood up, her eyes glued to him. she could see the way his body was trembling as he attempted to sit up. it was clear something was wrong.

“jaemin!” she shouted from the stands, her voice breaking through the noise. she saw him grimace as he tried to move his leg, but it was no use. he couldn’t put any weight on it.

jeno, who had been near jaemin when the tackle occurred, was the first to reach his teammate. his usual calm was replaced with a quiet urgency as he crouched next to jaemin, his expression hard to read.

“jaemin, are you okay?” jeno asked, his voice laced with concern.

jaemin clenched his teeth. “i—i don’t know. i think i twisted my ankle. i can’t move it.”

jeno’s face darkened. “stay still. let the medics check you out.”

the medical team rushed to the scene, quickly assessing jaemin’s condition before helping him off the field. the entire stadium held its breath as jaemin hobbled off, leaning heavily on jeno for support.

y/n’s hands gripped the railing of the stands as she watched jaemin being led to the bench. her stomach twisted in knots—this was the championship game, and jaemin had just been sidelined. she could see the frustration on his face as he was helped to sit on the bench, his eyes filled with anger and disbelief.

with jaemin off the field, the boys’ team was suddenly without their star player. the coach called a timeout, gathering the team around to strategize, but the mood was somber. jaemin had been a key player, and without him, the boys’ team seemed to lose their momentum. y/n’s gaze shifted to jeno, who was now stepping forward in the absence of his teammate.

jeno didn’t hesitate. his calm, measured demeanor was exactly what the team needed at that moment. while the rest of the players seemed rattled, jeno remained steady, his focus sharper than ever.

y/n watched as he took charge, organizing plays and leading his team with quiet authority. he was still jeno—his usual reserved self—but today, there was something different. he wasn’t just playing for the team anymore; he was playing for jaemin, for the game, and for the glory that had seemed to slip away the moment jaemin went down.

the tension in the stands grew with every passing minute. the game was still neck-and-neck, but jeno’s leadership was starting to turn the tide. his passes were impeccable, his vision of the field precise. with each move, he seemed to elevate the entire team, pulling them back from the brink of defeat.

then, in the dying minutes of the game, jeno did something that sealed his place as the hero of the match. he seized a loose ball, dodged an opponent, and took a shot that sent the ball sailing into the back of the net.

the stadium erupted in cheers, but y/n couldn’t help but feel a bittersweet pang in her chest. the boys’ team had won, and jeno was the one who had secured their victory—but it came at a price. jaemin wasn’t there to share the glory. his injury had stolen that moment from him, and now, jeno was the one in the spotlight.

after the game, the boys’ team celebrated their victory, but it was clear that the win was tainted by jaemin’s injury. the atmosphere was a mix of celebration and uncertainty, with players high-fiving and congratulating each other, but their eyes constantly flicking toward the bench where jaemin sat, his leg propped up and his ankle wrapped in ice.

y/n approached jaemin as he sat quietly, his face a mask of frustration. he forced a smile when he saw her, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“hey, you did great out there,” y/n said, trying to comfort him, but her voice was full of concern.

jaemin shrugged, his tone dismissive. “it doesn’t matter now, does it? i’m stuck on the sidelines while jeno takes my spot.”

y/n’s heart sank. “jaemin—”

“no, really,” jaemin interrupted, his voice edged with bitterness. “he played well, didn’t he? took charge, scored the winning goal. now the team’s going to think he’s the new leader.”

y/n didn’t know how to respond. she knew that jaemin’s injury had shaken him more than he was letting on. he had always been the center of attention, the one everyone relied on. now, that position had shifted, and he couldn’t help but feel betrayed by his own body.

from across the field, jeno was talking with some of the other players, but his usual calm demeanor seemed to be weighed down by something more. when his eyes briefly met jaemin’s, there was a flicker of something—a silent understanding—and then jeno quickly looked away, returning to his conversation.

y/n’s gaze shifted back and forth between the two of them, and she couldn’t ignore the shift in their friendship. jaemin’s injury had opened up a rift that neither of them seemed ready to address, but the strain was becoming more and more palpable.

she knew that jeno hadn’t done anything wrong. he had played his part, stepped up when the team needed him. but she also knew that jaemin wasn’t one to take kindly to being sidelined, especially when he had worked so hard for this moment. and now, there was a quiet tension that neither of them was acknowledging—but it was there, hovering between them, thickening the air.

as she stood between the two of them, y/n couldn’t help but feel like everything had changed. the victory, the injury, the unspoken feelings—it was all too much for her to handle. she had always been the bridge between jaemin and jeno, but now, she wasn’t sure if she could hold them together any longer.

the days after the championship game were tense, like a storm waiting to break. jaemin’s injury was the kind that required rest and patience, but the emotional toll it was taking on him was becoming evident. he spent more time alone, nursing his injury, and less time with the team. he could feel the frustration bubbling inside him—every time he watched the boys play, every time he saw jeno step into the spotlight, the bitterness grew.

jeno, on the other hand, seemed to be carrying the weight of the team’s victory. he’d been praised for his performance, and while he appreciated the recognition, something in him felt uneasy. it wasn’t just the fact that he’d replaced jaemin in the game—he knew jaemin hadn’t taken his injury well. what jeno hadn’t expected, though, was how deeply jaemin’s silence would affect him.

their first confrontation came late one evening after practice. the boys were winding down in the locker room, the team buzzing about their upcoming game. jeno was leaning against a locker, talking with some of the other players, when jaemin walked in, his crutches tapping against the floor with each step.

jaemin’s eyes scanned the room, and for a brief moment, he locked eyes with jeno. there was a heaviness in the air, something unspoken, and both of them could feel it. jaemin didn’t wait for anyone to approach him—he walked straight over to jeno, his face tight with emotion.

“you’ve been getting all the attention lately,” jaemin said, his voice sharp.

jeno raised an eyebrow, confused. “what are you talking about?”

“i’m talking about the game,” jaemin snapped, his tone defensive. “you take my place, you score the winning goal, and suddenly you’re the hero. the mvp. what about me? i’ve worked my ass off for this team, and in one moment, it’s like i don’t even matter anymore.”

jeno blinked, taken aback by the sudden outburst. he had known jaemin was upset, but he hadn’t expected this level of animosity. “jaemin, that’s not what this is about. you’re hurt. i didn’t want this to happen. i didn’t want to have to step in. but the team needed me.”

jaemin’s face flushed with frustration. “of course, you didn’t want it to happen. but you’re loving the attention, aren’t you? you’re eating it up, just waiting for your chance to be the star.”

“that’s not fair,” jeno responded, his voice growing colder. “i didn’t ask for this. i didn’t ask to be the one who scored. i did what i had to do, and i played my part. the team needed someone to step up, and i did. what else do you want from me?”

jaemin’s eyes narrowed, the anger now completely surfacing. “i wanted my place back,” he shot back, his fists clenching. “i wanted to be the one to win the game. i wanted to be the one to get all the praise. not you. you’re just... you’re just happy to be the new ‘golden boy.’”

jeno’s jaw tightened. “that’s not fair, jaemin. you’re the one who’s been acting like you’re above everyone else this whole time. just because i’m not loud and flashy doesn’t mean i don’t deserve this. i stepped up for the team. i didn’t ask for this position, but i’ll take it if it means we win.”

jaemin laughed bitterly, his voice rising. “you don’t get it, do you? it’s not about the game anymore. it’s about you, trying to replace me. you don’t care about what it means to me, how hard i’ve worked for this, how badly i wanted it. you’re too busy trying to prove something.”

jeno’s face hardened, his voice dropping to a low growl. “maybe you should stop thinking everything’s about you. maybe you should take a step back and realize that this team doesn’t revolve around you. i’ve been here, too. i’ve put in the work, and i’m tired of watching you act like you’re the only one who matters.”

the room fell into a heavy silence. the rest of the team, sensing the rising tension, had fallen quiet. their argument was no longer just about the game. it was about their friendship—the bond they had built over the years. and now, it was unraveling right before their eyes.

jaemin looked at jeno, his expression hardening, as if seeing his friend for the first time. he opened his mouth to say something more, but the words wouldn’t come. instead, he turned away, crutching himself out of the locker room without another word.

“jaemin, wait—” jeno started, but the door slammed shut behind him before he could finish his sentence.

jeno stood there, staring at the door, his fists clenched at his sides. he felt like his chest had been crushed under the weight of what had just happened. he had never imagined it would come to this. he never imagined that a single argument could destroy the friendship they had built.

but now, as the seconds ticked by, jeno knew that things had changed. his heart ached, but there was a gnawing feeling in his gut that told him this wasn’t something they could easily fix.

jaemin’s injury had kept him sidelined for weeks, and the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional turmoil he was going through. every day felt like a reminder of his inability to contribute to the team, of the space he was losing—not just in the game, but in his friendships. he couldn’t shake the feeling that his position had been taken, that his importance to the team, and to those around him, was slipping away.

y/n had been there for him, as always. she’d helped him with his recovery, visited him at his apartment when he was too frustrated to go out, and spent hours on the phone with him whenever he needed someone to talk to. but despite all of her support, jaemin couldn't stop the nagging feeling in the back of his mind—jeno was still there. jeno was still the one everyone was talking about, the one everyone was praising for leading the team to victory. and the worst part? y/n had been spending more and more time with jeno, trying to comfort him through the aftermath of their argument, offering him the support jaemin had always given him.

it was late one evening, and jaemin was sitting on his couch, nursing his ankle as he scrolled through social media on his phone. every post, every mention of jeno just seemed to dig a little deeper into his insecurities. he couldn’t stop thinking about the way y/n had looked at jeno the other day—like she was proud of him, like he was the hero of their story. it made his chest ache. his jealousy, which had been simmering for weeks, was finally boiling over.

a knock on his door interrupted his spiraling thoughts. it was y/n.

"hey, how’s the ankle?" she asked, stepping inside with a small smile, trying to keep the mood light.

jaemin looked up at her, forcing a smile in return. "it’s fine. still just... healing," he said, his voice flat.

y/n sat down beside him, glancing at his ankle. "you should really rest it more. i know you hate it, but you need to let it heal properly."

jaemin nodded but didn’t say anything. he couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine. he had been pretending for too long, and it was starting to wear him down.

after a moment of silence, jaemin finally spoke, his voice low and tense. "you’ve been spending a lot of time with jeno, haven’t you?"

y/n blinked in surprise. "what? jaemin, we’re friends. you know that."

jaemin’s expression hardened. "yeah, but it’s more than that now, isn’t it? you’re always checking in on him, always there for him. you never used to do that for me. what’s going on, y/n?"

y/n’s eyes widened, confusion and concern overtaking her features. "what are you talking about? i’m just trying to help him. he’s struggling, jaemin. he’s your friend, too."

jaemin’s heart pounded in his chest as he leaned forward, his gaze intense. "yeah, i know. but it’s like you’re forgetting about me. you’re too busy being there for him. you’ve been... spending so much time with him, talking to him, comforting him. and i’m just sitting here, watching it all happen."

y/n’s expression shifted, her confusion turning into frustration. "that’s not fair, jaemin. i’m here for you, too! you know that, right? i’m not replacing you with jeno. you’re just... you’re just in your head right now."

jaemin’s voice rose, the hurt and jealousy finally spilling out. "it feels like you are. you’ve barely been around since the game. and when you are, it’s always about jeno—how he’s doing, how he’s coping. i’m just supposed to sit here and wait until i’m good enough to play again, right?"

y/n’s face fell. she had never seen jaemin like this before. the defensiveness, the jealousy—it was completely out of character for him. she had always known him as confident, energetic, and optimistic, but this version of him was raw and vulnerable in a way that was hard for her to process.

"jaemin, i’m not trying to push you aside. i’m here for you. i’ve always been here for you," y/n said softly, her voice cracking with emotion. "but i’m also trying to help jeno, because... because he’s going through something, too. you don’t get it, do you?"

jaemin’s eyes flickered with frustration. "i get it, y/n. you’re both just so much better than me right now. you’ve got him—jeno—and you’ve got the team’s attention. and then there’s me, stuck on the sidelines with nothing to offer."

y/n’s heart sank. she didn’t know how to make him see that it wasn’t about jeno or the team’s attention. it was about him, about helping him recover and reminding him of the strength he still had—no matter what had happened on the field.

"i never said you were nothing, jaemin," she said, her voice quiet but firm. "you’re everything to me. but you need to stop pushing people away. you can’t keep thinking that i’m going to abandon you just because jeno and i talk more. that’s not how it is. and you know it."

the silence that followed hung heavy in the air. jaemin’s face softened, but the tension between them remained. he had been so consumed by his own jealousy that he hadn’t realized how much y/n had been trying to balance—her support for him and for jeno. but now, it felt like their friendship, their connection, was slipping through his fingers.

"i’m sorry," jaemin muttered, his voice low. "i didn’t mean to say those things. it’s just... hard, you know? watching everything change."

y/n let out a slow breath. "i know it’s hard. but you’re not alone in this, jaemin. not now, not ever."

jaemin looked away, staring at the floor, unsure of what to say next. the insecurity that had been gnawing at him was still there, but in this moment, he realized that he had let his jealousy cloud the truth: y/n wasn’t choosing jeno over him. she wasn’t replacing him.

y/n, caught in the middle of their fallout, struggles to remain neutral. every day feels like walking through a minefield, where one wrong step might shatter everything. the friendship between jaemin and jeno, once so effortless and full of mutual respect, has cracked under the weight of rivalry, jealousy, and unspoken words. y/n feels like she’s stuck in the eye of a storm, trying to hold onto both of them while everything around her crumbles. she can’t help but blame herself, even if deep down, she knows it’s not her fault. she wishes she could simply make everything go back to the way it was, but the distance between them feels too vast, too permanent now.

when jaemin and jeno had their falling out, y/n immediately felt the ripple effects. they didn’t just stop talking to each other; they stopped being the people y/n had grown close to. jaemin, once so open and warm, now avoids y/n’s attempts to comfort him. his silence is suffocating. y/n tries to reach out to him, but his cold responses only make her feel like a stranger. he’s hurt, she understands that. but why does it feel like every time she extends a hand, he pulls further away?

jaemin’s hurt is so visible. he’s not the same person anymore. she watches as he buries himself in his recovery, and yet, every time he’s with her, it’s like there’s a piece of him missing. the playful glint in his eyes is gone, replaced by something deeper—anger, resentment, uncertainty. he doesn’t express it directly, but y/n can feel it in his tone, in the way his body language tenses when she mentions jeno. he can’t even stand the sight of her talking to jeno for too long, a fact that cuts deeper than y/n would have expected.

it’s not just jaemin’s silence that gets to her; it’s the way he subtly pulls away from her. the days when he would spontaneously grab her hand or ask how her day was feel like distant memories now. he’s still there, but only physically. y/n catches him staring at her sometimes, but there’s no warmth in his gaze. just cold, calculated distance. every time she tries to reassure him, tell him that nothing’s changed, that she’s still there for him, it feels like he’s not listening. he doesn’t believe her anymore. and she feels that, deep down, a part of her is losing him—slowly but surely.

the jealousy that jaemin harbors isn’t just about soccer or jeno’s success. it’s about her. about the fact that y/n and jeno still share moments together, that jeno is still a part of her life even though their friendship is strained. jaemin’s insecurities grow, and they’re starting to eat away at him. he feels threatened not just by jeno’s increasing success on the field but by the bond y/n and jeno share. there’s a part of jaemin that wonders if y/n still cares for him in the same way. the uncertainty is consuming him, and as a result, he pushes y/n further away.

and it’s not like she doesn’t try to fix it. she does, over and over again. she texts him, calls him, tries to make plans for the two of them, but every time, it feels like he’s just going through the motions. the moments when they used to talk for hours have now become quick exchanges, and the silence in between those words is growing. she knows that silence. it’s the silence that comes before something breaks for good.

jeno, too, has been changing, but not in the way y/n had hoped. she can still see the boy she once knew—the one who used to joke around with her, who would tease her in a way that made her feel at ease. but now, he’s a version of himself she barely recognizes. jeno is quieter now, more withdrawn, but he still makes an effort to be there for her. he helps her study, checks in with her after games, and offers her advice when she’s frustrated with her performance. yet, there’s something beneath the surface—something that y/n can’t quite name. the way he looks at her when they’re alone, the way his voice softens when he says her name, it all feels different. y/n can feel the tension growing, a quiet undercurrent that runs beneath their casual conversations.

it’s hard for y/n to ignore that jeno isn’t just supporting her as a friend anymore. he’s hiding feelings, feelings he’s been carrying for far too long. his gestures of kindness, his little acts of support, now feel heavier than before. y/n can sense his pain, the longing that he’s trying so hard to keep buried. she feels it when his hand brushes against hers for a second too long or when he offers her a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. jeno is hiding his feelings, but they’re becoming too obvious to ignore.

the worst part is that y/n doesn’t know how to act around him anymore. she’s torn between loyalty and love. she knows jeno’s feelings for her are real, but she doesn’t know how to reciprocate them without betraying jaemin. she can’t help but feel guilty, knowing how hard jeno is trying to be there for her even as his emotions remain unspoken. but she also knows that the bond they share is built on years of friendship. and she can’t just ignore the weight of her own feelings for jaemin, even as she watches him crumble before her eyes.

y/n feels like she’s drowning in guilt and confusion. she’s struggling to keep the pieces of their fractured friendships together, but no matter how hard she tries, it seems like she can’t fix what’s broken. her efforts to talk to jaemin only push him further away, and when she tries to reach out to jeno, it’s like she’s stepping into a minefield of unspoken emotions. the more she tries, the more everything unravels.

she wants to talk to both of them, to tell them that she’s still here for them, that she’s not choosing sides, but the truth is, y/n doesn’t know if she can. she doesn’t know if they’ll ever get back to the way things were. she doesn’t know if she can carry the weight of their pain anymore. and worst of all, she doesn’t know if there’s a way out of this cycle.

her world is becoming smaller by the day, and with every passing hour, she feels the distance between them grow. what was once a tight-knit trio is now split apart, with y/n standing in the middle, watching as both jaemin and jeno spiral into their own worlds of resentment, frustration, and unspoken feelings. and she’s left, powerless to stop it, only hoping that somewhere down the line, they can all find a way to heal.

jaemin and jeno, now unable to even look at each other, refuse to communicate. the fallout from their argument leaves a thick tension hanging in the air, and it seems like there’s no coming back from it. jeno’s once lively presence on the field now feels almost like a shadow of what it used to be. he plays with intensity, but every movement, every pass, seems mechanical. the joy he once felt in soccer feels hollow. he can feel jaemin’s absence, even though jaemin is still a part of the team. their silent animosity has shifted the team dynamic, leaving jeno with the burden of trying to fill the emotional void left by their fractured friendship. yet, even with all of his success, he can’t seem to shake the feeling of guilt that clings to him.

jaemin, on the other hand, isn’t interested in jeno’s achievements. he’s too consumed with his own bitterness to even acknowledge how jeno is rising in prominence. while jeno has gained respect from the team, jaemin isolates himself further. he doesn’t attend social gatherings, avoids his teammates, and spends most of his time with his thoughts. his physical recovery is slow, but his emotional pain is even more crippling. he watches from the sidelines, not just in the literal sense but also in his own life. the anger he feels toward jeno consumes him, and with each day that passes, the resentment deepens. he finds it impossible to cheer for jeno’s success, even when it’s clear that jeno has worked hard for it.

y/n feels the tension every day. she’s never been so acutely aware of the growing distance between herself and both of them. jaemin’s withdrawal from her is the most painful part of all of this. she tries to reach out to him—texts, calls, messages—but they go unanswered, or at best, she receives short, disinterested responses. the once warm and open relationship she had with jaemin is now a ghost, replaced by awkward silences when they are in the same room. he’s not the jaemin she fell in love with anymore. he’s not even the jaemin she used to call her best friend. he’s someone she doesn’t recognize, someone who has become a stranger in her life.

but jeno doesn’t make things easier, either. he’s still there for her, but the burden of his unspoken feelings weighs on him like a storm waiting to break. he’s quieter now, his once carefree attitude dampened by the constant internal conflict he feels. his gestures are kind, and he’s there whenever she needs him, but there’s an air of sadness around him that y/n can’t ignore. the way he looks at her sometimes, the lingering touches, the soft smiles that don’t quite meet his eyes—they all make her heart ache. jeno is hiding something, something that’s slowly chipping away at the friendship they’ve shared for so long.

y/n feels as if she’s been caught in the crossfire of their conflict. she wants to support jaemin, but he doesn’t want her help. she wants to comfort jeno, but she can’t deny the distance that’s growing between them. the emotional weight of trying to maintain relationships with both of them while they drift further apart is overwhelming. every conversation she has with jaemin feels like she’s walking on thin ice, afraid of saying the wrong thing. every interaction with jeno feels bittersweet, as if there’s something unspoken lingering in the air, a tension that neither of them dares to confront.

the pressure to fix things is crushing. y/n knows that jaemin and jeno are both hurting, but no matter how hard she tries, she can’t seem to get through to either of them. it feels like she’s losing both of them at once. the guilt eats at her. what if there was something she could have done to prevent this? what if she could have said something differently, or acted differently? the "what ifs" consume her, leaving her trapped in a never-ending cycle of self-doubt.

jaemin has become more withdrawn; he no longer has the same spark in his eyes, the same warmth in his gestures. he’s quieter, more distant, and no longer seems to take the same joy in their relationship. while he’s still present, both physically and on the field, his heart isn’t the same. his smiles feel forced, and his touches, once full of affection, now seem mechanical. y/n is left grasping at straws, trying to bring back the jaemin she once knew.

jaemin's disinterest isn't just in their relationship, but in everything around him. he becomes less involved in team activities, declining invites to social gatherings or team dinners. when y/n tries to talk to him, he brushes her off with vague excuses, saying he’s tired or busy. his friends, even jeno, notice the change in him, but no one dares to bring it up. y/n begins to feel like she’s fighting a losing battle, putting all her energy into saving their relationship while jaemin seems to pull further and further away from her.

jeno, still caught in his feelings for y/n, notices the tension between the couple but doesn’t know how to help. he’s always been there for y/n as a friend, but lately, even his attempts at offering support seem to fall flat. jaemin, who used to be so open with her, now keeps everything inside. his demeanor is colder, and whenever y/n tries to talk to him about it, he deflects, pushing her away with every word he says. it becomes impossible for y/n to ignore that something isn’t right.

one night, the truth finally hits y/n like a ton of bricks.

after finishing a late-night practice session, y/n decides to take a detour to the locker room to grab something she left behind earlier that day. she knows jaemin often stays late to work on his recovery, so she plans to surprise him with a snack. but as she steps into the hallway leading to the locker room, she hears voices—low whispers, followed by soft laughter.

at first, she doesn’t think much of it, assuming someone else is around. but as she gets closer, her stomach churns. she pushes open the door, only to be greeted by a sight that freezes her in place. jaemin is standing there, his arms wrapped around her best friend from the girls’ soccer team. the same best friend who had been her confidante, the one she had confided in about jaemin’s emotional distance and her struggles.

her best friend is laughing softly, pressing her lips to jaemin’s in a kiss. jaemin doesn’t notice y/n at first, too consumed in the moment, but when he hears her sharp intake of breath, he pulls away. the look on his face is one of pure shock and guilt, but the damage is already done.

y/n doesn’t know what to do. her legs feel like they might give out beneath her as the world spins around her. the betrayal cuts deep. jaemin, the man she’s been holding onto, the man she thought was her rock, has been cheating on her with someone she trusted with everything. her best friend—the one person who was supposed to have her back—has turned her loyalty into a cruel joke.

jaemin stumbles forward, his words coming out in a disjointed mess. “y/n, i—i didn’t mean for you to find out like this.” but there is no apology in his eyes, no regret. instead, there is just guilt, a guilt that’s tainted by the obvious desire to justify his actions.

y/n doesn’t say anything at first. she stands there, numb, as her heart breaks into a million pieces. everything she thought she knew about jaemin, about their relationship, is a lie. she turns without saying a word, walking out of the locker room and into the cold night, feeling the sting of the betrayal burn into her chest. she can’t look at jaemin anymore. she doesn’t want to. she can’t trust him. not after this.

jaemin watches her leave, knowing that he’s just lost the one person who truly mattered to him. but the reality of his actions doesn’t seem to hit him immediately. he stays in the locker room, facing the harsh consequences of his mistake, but all he feels is regret, not for his actions, but for the pain he’s caused y/n. what’s done is done. the brokenness in his chest doesn’t compare to the pain he knows y/n is feeling.

the next few days are a blur. y/n isolates herself, drowning in a mix of heartbreak and disbelief. she doesn’t return jaemin’s texts or calls, refusing to let him explain himself. there is no explanation that can make this right, not when she feels so utterly betrayed. she tries to focus on soccer, but even the sport she loves doesn’t bring her solace. every time she steps onto the field, the memory of jaemin’s betrayal haunts her. she can’t shake the feeling of being used, of having her trust completely shattered.

meanwhile, jaemin reaches out again and again, but y/n refuses to listen. jeno, who had been quietly watching from the sidelines, begins to notice the strain this is putting on y/n. his own feelings for her, long buried, come rushing to the surface as he realizes just how much she’s hurting. he wants to comfort her, to tell her that she deserves better, but the line between friendship and something more is too blurred. and with jaemin still trying to reach y/n, jeno knows he can’t step in—at least not yet.

the damage is done. y/n has lost her best friend and her boyfriend in one blow, and the aftermath leaves her questioning everything she once believed about trust, love, and loyalty.

JUNIOR YEAR

the sun hung low in the sky as y/n walked across campus, her heart heavy. junior year had begun, but it didn’t feel like a fresh start. it felt like she was still stuck in the aftermath of the betrayal—the cheating, the lies, and the painful loss of trust.

she glanced over at the soccer field as she walked past it, the sound of the boys' team practicing drifting in the air. her eyes briefly met jaemin’s across the field, and she quickly looked away. he had been trying to approach her for weeks, sending texts, leaving notes in her locker—desperate attempts to fix what he’d broken. but y/n had learned the hard way that some things can’t be fixed. not when the cracks run so deep.

her stomach twisted at the thought of him. jaemin had been everything to her—her first love, her best friend, her everything. but now? now, all she could feel when she saw him was the sting of betrayal. the guilt, the anger, the hurt—it was all still there, swirling in her chest like a storm that never seemed to pass.

y/n shook her head and focused on the task at hand: surviving the first week of classes without completely falling apart. her friends—what few she had left after everything—had told her to focus on herself. to stop worrying about the people who’d hurt her. but how could she when every interaction seemed to revolve around jaemin?

as she entered the building for her first lecture of the day, she almost collided with someone at the door.

“woah, sorry!” she said, stepping back quickly.

jeno, who had been walking just behind her, gave her a soft smile. “you okay?”

y/n forced a smile, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “yeah, just... tired.” she gave him a quick nod before turning to head inside. the last thing she needed right now was to engage in a long conversation.

but jeno wasn’t the type to let things go easily. he followed her into the classroom, sitting beside her without hesitation. over the last year, jeno had become someone she could rely on, even if it wasn’t always easy to accept his support. after the fallout with jaemin, jeno had been a silent presence, offering his care without pushing her.

for that, she was grateful. but the last thing y/n wanted was to rely on him too much. she knew how tangled everything already was.

“so, how’s the team?” jeno asked casually, pulling out his notebook as the lecture started.

y/n shrugged, her eyes momentarily flickering to the side. “same as always, i guess. a lot of pressure with the season starting soon.” she tried to keep her tone neutral, but she couldn’t ignore the pang of discomfort that came from thinking about the boys’ team. jaemin was there, of course, and the last time they’d interacted had been... messy.

jeno caught her hesitation but didn’t press her for details. he just nodded in understanding, choosing to stay silent for the rest of the lecture. he could tell that y/n was struggling, but he wasn’t going to push her. not yet.

the days that followed felt like a blur. y/n buried herself in her schoolwork, soccer practice, and the few remaining friendships she had left, all while trying to ignore the ever-present tension between her, jaemin, and jeno. jaemin’s attempts to reach out only made it worse. he’d show up at the field, lingering after practice, hoping for a chance to speak to her, but y/n would avoid him every time. the pain was still too fresh. every time she looked at him, all she could see was the hurt he’d caused.

jaemin’s frustration was growing. he hadn’t been able to understand why y/n was shutting him out completely, why her anger felt so cold and final. he could see the way she leaned on jeno more and more, and the jealousy that simmered beneath the surface began to eat away at him. but his guilt was even worse. the guilt that he’d destroyed something beautiful, something he’d taken for granted.

one afternoon, jaemin waited for y/n outside the gym, hoping for a chance to speak to her before practice started. he had rehearsed what he was going to say a thousand times in his head, but now that he was face-to-face with her, the words felt impossible to speak.

“y/n,” he called softly as she walked by, her head down as she passed him.

y/n froze for a moment, her back still turned to him. she knew he was there, knew he was probably waiting for some sort of acknowledgement. but she couldn’t do it—not yet. not when the wound was still so open. she didn’t turn around.

“please, y/n,” jaemin’s voice cracked slightly. “can we just talk? i—"

“i don’t think we have anything to talk about,” she interrupted, her voice cool. “not anymore.”

the finality in her tone hit him like a punch to the gut, and he stood there, staring after her as she walked into the gym.

it was hard for him to accept, but jaemin couldn’t ignore the truth: y/n wasn’t going to forgive him. not now, not ever.

the following weeks were a blur of practices, classes, and quiet nights spent in solitude. y/n couldn’t bring herself to face jaemin, and with each passing day, the distance between them seemed to grow even wider. the guilt that came with avoiding him was overwhelming, but it was nothing compared to the emotional wreckage she felt every time she thought about everything he had done.

jaemin’s attempts to make things right were relentless. after that last confrontation outside the gym, he continued to text her, leaving notes on her locker and occasionally cornering her after class. but each time y/n saw him, she felt that old sting in her chest. she wanted to scream at him for what he had done—wanted to demand answers for why he cheated, for why he ruined everything they had. but she never did. instead, she put up walls, silently pushing him away every time he tried to break through.

it wasn’t just jaemin’s efforts that were getting to her, though. it was the way he kept showing up everywhere. on the field during practice, at school events, and even at their usual hangouts with friends. his presence was suffocating. y/n knew he wasn’t giving up, but she also knew she couldn’t face him. not yet.

when practice rolled around, y/n buried herself in the physicality of soccer, pushing herself harder and harder, trying to ignore the pain that came with every memory of jaemin. the sound of the ball hitting the net, the exhaustion in her legs, and the focus she poured into every drill kept her distracted.

but even on the field, she couldn’t escape the tension that seemed to hang in the air, especially with the boys’ team practicing at the same time. jaemin’s eyes followed her movements from across the field, and every glance they shared sent a sharp pang through her heart.

jeno, on the other hand, remained a steady presence. unlike jaemin, he didn’t force his way into y/n’s life. he never pushed her for answers or sought her forgiveness. he simply existed alongside her, a quiet anchor in a storm that felt like it would never end.

on the field, jeno’s style of play was as smooth and calculated as ever. he had always been a naturally gifted player, but there was something different about him now. his usual cheerful demeanor had become more reserved, and his focus seemed laser-sharp, as if he was trying to block out his own emotions. y/n couldn’t help but notice the way jeno’s eyes lingered on her whenever they passed one another during drills. he was always there, watching from the sidelines, but never intruding.

during a particularly brutal practice, y/n was pushing herself beyond her limits, running drills until her legs burned with exhaustion. it was a typical coping mechanism for her—distracting herself with the physical. but as she sprinted down the field, her vision blurred, and her foot caught unevenly on the turf. she fell hard, the impact of the ground knocking the air out of her lungs.

she lay there for a moment, struggling to catch her breath. her teammates rushed over, but the one who reached her first was jeno.

“y/n! are you okay?” his voice was laced with concern, his hands hovering over her body as if afraid to touch her.

y/n winced as she tried to push herself up, but the pain in her ankle was immediate and sharp. “i’m fine,” she said quickly, brushing him off, though it was clear she wasn’t.

jeno knelt beside her, his gaze softening. “let me help you,” he said gently. he offered his hand, and despite herself, y/n took it.

she leaned on him as he helped her to her feet, his steady presence offering her the comfort she didn’t know she needed. “i’ll take you to the trainer,” jeno suggested, already beginning to walk with her towards the sideline.

y/n didn’t protest. she let him guide her away from the field, away from the eyes of her teammates, and the watchful gaze of jaemin, who stood from a distance, watching the exchange with a mix of frustration and guilt.

the next few days were filled with rest and rehabilitation for y/n’s injury, and as she hobbled around campus on crutches, she found herself once again caught between two worlds. jaemin tried to reach out, of course, apologizing over and over for the distance between them, but every word from him felt like a reminder of everything she had lost.

jeno, on the other hand, continued to show up quietly in the background. his support didn’t demand anything from her, but it was clear that he was there—always just close enough to make sure she was okay, but never forcing anything. and as much as y/n tried to ignore the growing feelings inside her, it was getting harder and harder to do so.

one evening, while y/n was working on a paper in the library, she received a text from jeno.

“how’s the ankle?”

it was simple, direct, and caring. she hesitated before replying, unsure of what to say. her thoughts were all over the place—too tangled in confusion, frustration, and the quiet ache that seemed to settle in her chest every time she thought of jeno’s kindness.

“it’s getting better, thanks to you.” she typed quickly, then set her phone down, trying to refocus on her work.

a few moments later, her phone buzzed again, and y/n’s heart skipped when she saw the next message.

“i’m glad to hear that. let me know if you need anything.”

y/n smiled softly, her heart pounding in her chest as she read his words. there was something about jeno’s quiet presence that made her feel safe, something she hadn’t realized she’d been missing until now.

the crisp autumn air bit at y/n’s skin as she walked across campus, her ankle feeling better but her heart heavier than ever. she had spent the last few weeks trying to bury herself in her work, her studies, and soccer, but no matter how much she focused on the physical, the emotional chaos just wouldn’t go away. jaemin’s attempts to contact her had become relentless, and no matter how many times she rejected him, he wouldn’t stop.

she was almost used to it by now. almost.

today, however, was different. jaemin had finally sent her a message that broke through her defenses:

“we need to talk. please.”

it felt like a simple request. but after everything they had been through, after all the hurt, y/n wasn’t sure if talking could ever fix what had been broken. she had spent too much time trying to rebuild herself after his betrayal. she wasn’t sure she had any pieces left to give.

jeno had been quiet these days, and y/n was beginning to notice the subtle shifts in him. he had always been there for her, his presence a constant source of comfort, but lately, there was something different in the way he looked at her. something soft, something almost... protective.

she wasn’t blind. she knew that jeno’s feelings for her had shifted over time. he had been the quiet, steady support when she needed it, but now, his concern for her seemed to go beyond just friendship. it was something deeper, something unspoken.

but where did that leave her? she wasn’t ready to think about moving on from jaemin, but at the same time, she couldn’t keep clinging to someone who had hurt her so badly.

y/n stood at the edge of the field, her eyes trained on the boys' team as they finished practice. she couldn’t help herself; she looked for jaemin. his back was to her, but she could still make out the tension in his posture, the way he hesitated before he turned to speak to his teammates.

for a moment, she thought about walking over to him. but then, the thought of everything he had done—everything he had destroyed—stopped her in her tracks.

she turned instead and walked toward the locker room, where she knew jeno would be waiting. it had become a routine of sorts. after every practice, jeno would stick around to make sure she was okay, despite her attempts to push him away.

this time, though, there was something different in the air.

jeno was already sitting on the bench in the locker room when she entered, looking down at his phone. he didn’t look up as she walked in, but y/n could feel his gaze shift toward her as soon as she sat down next to him.

“you’re not practicing today?” she asked, trying to keep the conversation casual. it was the usual way they interacted—friendly, easygoing, without any pressure. but today, the air between them felt thick with unspoken words.

jeno shrugged, putting his phone down on the bench next to him. “just wanted to check on you. i know your ankle’s still recovering, so i thought maybe we could grab lunch after this.” his voice was calm, but there was an underlying urgency, like he was waiting for something.

y/n smiled softly, grateful for his consideration. “lunch sounds good,” she agreed, trying to shake off the weight of the thoughts swirling in her head.

but before they could continue their conversation, the door to the locker room creaked open, and y/n froze. she hadn’t expected anyone else to be here, but when she saw jaemin step through the door, her stomach dropped.

he paused when he saw them sitting together, his eyes briefly flicking to jeno, then back to y/n. his jaw clenched, and for a moment, no one spoke.

finally, jaemin broke the silence. “can we talk?” his voice was tight, hesitant, as though he wasn’t sure how to approach her.

y/n didn’t respond immediately. her heart was pounding in her chest, and she could feel jeno’s eyes on her, waiting for her to make a decision. she glanced at him briefly, silently asking for guidance, but jeno simply gave her a small nod, as though telling her to handle it however she needed to.

with a sigh, y/n stood up, brushing past jaemin as she made her way to the door. she had spent so many days avoiding this moment, but now, she couldn’t put it off any longer.

jaemin followed her outside, but they both remained silent as they walked to a quieter part of campus. y/n was doing everything she could to keep her emotions in check, but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

“you’ve been avoiding me,” jaemin finally said, his voice low. “i know i messed up, but i need to apologize. i can’t keep pretending like nothing happened. you and i... we were everything to each other, and i know i broke that. but i need you to know how sorry i am, y/n.”

y/n bit her lip, trying to steady her breathing. she had heard these words so many times before. the apologies. the regret. but the damage had already been done.

“you don’t get to apologize anymore, jaemin,” y/n replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “you don’t get to make things right after what you did. i gave you everything, and you destroyed it. you don’t just get to walk back into my life and fix everything with a few words.”

jaemin flinched at her words, his face falling as he saw the raw pain in her eyes. “i know. i know i can’t fix it, and i don’t expect you to forgive me. i just... i need you to know how much i regret it. how much i miss us.”

y/n shook her head, stepping back a little. “it’s too late for that. i can’t go back to what we were, jaemin. i can’t pretend that nothing happened.”

for a long moment, there was nothing but silence between them. jaemin’s eyes were filled with sorrow, but y/n couldn’t bring herself to feel pity. she had loved him more than anything, but now, all she could feel was the aching emptiness he had left behind.

as she turned to leave, jaemin reached out, his hand brushing against her arm. “i still love you,” he whispered.

y/n stiffened at the words, but she didn’t turn back. she couldn’t. “i’m sorry, jaemin. but i can’t love you anymore.”

y/n walked away, her heart heavy, but strangely lighter than it had been in months. saying those words to jaemin—admitting that she couldn’t love him anymore—was the hardest thing she’d ever done. but it also felt like a release. she wasn’t sure what came next, but for the first time in a long time, she felt like she could finally start moving forward.

she didn’t look back, but she couldn’t ignore the quiet ache that lingered in her chest.

as she made her way back toward the locker room, she found jeno waiting by the door, his eyes filled with concern. he didn’t say anything at first—he didn’t need to. his presence was enough.

without a word, y/n walked over to him, and jeno, sensing the weight of the moment, wrapped his arm around her. the silence between them was comforting in its own way, as if jeno understood that sometimes, words weren’t necessary.

and for the first time in a long while, y/n allowed herself to rest in the quiet support jeno offered, uncertain of what the future held, but feeling—just for a moment—that maybe, just maybe, things could get better.

the days following her confrontation with jaemin felt like a blur. classes, soccer practices, and social events all blended together into a single haze. y/n found herself moving through life on autopilot, her mind always drifting back to the conversation she had with jaemin. the weight of his words, the intensity of his gaze, stayed with her even after she tried to push it all aside.

she avoided jaemin as much as she could. he tried to approach her between classes or at the campus café, but y/n would make excuses to slip away, her heart too fragile to face him again. she didn’t know if she was ready to face the emotions that would inevitably come with it. she couldn’t trust him again, and the hurt still felt fresh.

jeno, on the other hand, was a quiet presence in her life. he was still there, offering her the same unwavering support that he always had. but y/n began to feel the subtle shift in his behavior. he was quieter now, his gestures more lingering. sometimes, when their hands brushed or when he’d pass her a comforting smile, she caught the fleeting glint of something deeper in his eyes.

she didn’t want to acknowledge it—she wasn’t ready to confront it—but the truth was impossible to ignore. jeno was falling for her.

one afternoon after practice, y/n lingered in the locker room, tying her shoes slowly, hoping the rest of the team would leave first so she wouldn’t have to face anyone. but when the door opened, it wasn’t one of her teammates—it was jeno.

"hey," he greeted her softly, his voice warm, but there was a certain hesitance to it, as if he was unsure how to act around her now.

y/n gave him a small, tired smile, forcing herself to appear less bothered than she truly felt. “hey, jeno. what’s up?”

jeno walked in and leaned against the lockers, crossing his arms as he looked at her. “i was just thinking... we haven’t had much of a chance to talk lately, huh?”

y/n chuckled quietly, although it was tinged with sadness. “yeah, i guess you could say that. everything’s been a little... chaotic.”

he nodded, his gaze softening. “i get it. but i miss our talks. it’s not the same without you around.”

the sincerity in his voice made her stomach flutter. she could see the concern in his eyes, but more than that, she could see something that made her heart ache—a deep, unwavering loyalty, and maybe something more.

“i’m sorry,” she said, almost in a whisper, as she looked away from him. “i’ve been... distant. i just... need some time, jeno.”

“i know,” he replied, his voice gentle. “i’m not rushing you. but i’m still here, y/n. whenever you’re ready.”

she nodded, trying to push away the lump in her throat. jeno had always been there for her, through everything. but now, as she stood facing him, it felt like the weight of their friendship was shifting, and she wasn’t sure how to navigate the new dynamic.

“i appreciate that,” she murmured, her voice thick with unspoken emotions.

jeno hesitated before taking a step closer. “you don’t have to face all of this alone. i’m not going anywhere.”

y/n could feel her heart racing. jeno’s words, the way he always made her feel safe and understood, it was hard to ignore. but the thought of opening herself up to him—of acknowledging the way he might feel—was terrifying. she wasn’t sure she was ready to go there, not yet. not after everything she had just been through with jaemin.

“i know,” she whispered, barely meeting his gaze. “but i need some space. just for now.”

jeno didn’t push further. he simply nodded, his expression unreadable. he stepped back, turning toward the door.

“i’ll give you that,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “but don’t forget, i’m here. whenever you need me.”

y/n’s chest tightened, and she quickly turned away to avoid looking at him. she couldn’t bear to see the hurt in his eyes, especially when she knew she wasn’t ready to reciprocate the feelings he had for her.

but no matter how much she tried to push it away, a part of her was drawn to him. jeno had always been there when she needed him the most, and maybe, just maybe, that was enough to make her believe that something could still work between them.

but not now. not yet.

over the next few weeks, the tension between y/n, jaemin, and jeno only seemed to grow. jaemin’s attempts to reconcile with her became more frequent, but every time he tried to approach, y/n would shut him down. the thought of reopening the wounds he had caused was unbearable.

on the other hand, jeno remained patient. he didn’t push her, and he didn’t ask for anything. but y/n couldn’t shake the feeling that he was waiting for her—waiting for her to come around, waiting for her to finally admit that she might feel the same way.

it was a confusing time. she had spent so long focusing on healing from jaemin’s betrayal, that the idea of a relationship with jeno felt overwhelming. she wasn’t sure she could trust herself to be open to someone again, let alone open herself up to someone who had always been by her side.

one evening, as the team wrapped up practice, y/n found herself walking alongside jeno as they made their way to the locker room. the sun was setting, casting long shadows across the field.

“i’m glad you came today,” jeno said casually, his voice carrying a quiet intensity that made her heart beat faster. “it’s been a while since we really talked.”

y/n glanced at him, noticing the way he was looking at her—serious, but kind. “i know,” she replied, her voice quiet. “i’ve just been... trying to figure things out.”

jeno didn’t push her. instead, he simply nodded, his gaze softening. “i get it. and whenever you’re ready to talk, i’ll be here.”

y/n felt something in her chest tighten at his words. it wasn’t that she didn’t care for him—she did, in a way that felt deep and complex. but right now, she wasn’t ready to confront the emotional storm inside her. the pain of jaemin’s betrayal still loomed large, and the thought of opening her heart again, even to jeno, was terrifying.

“thanks, jeno,” she murmured, giving him a small, appreciative smile.

they reached the locker room, and as y/n stepped inside, she caught one last glance at jeno. his face was unreadable, but there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes, something she wasn’t ready to acknowledge yet.

it was a wednesday afternoon when everything came to a head. the girls’ team had just wrapped up a grueling practice, and as y/n was stretching on the sideline, her eyes caught the boys’ team warming up across the field. jaemin was leading their drills, his movements fluid and confident, but there was something in his posture that struck her—a defensiveness, a tension in his shoulders that was unlike him.

y/n turned her attention back to her own teammates, but the sight of jaemin lingered in her mind. for the past few weeks, she had kept her distance from him, and yet the unresolved feelings between them never fully faded. she wasn’t sure if she missed the person he was or if she was just mourning the idea of their relationship, the future they could have had before everything fell apart.

“y/n?” her teammate’s voice broke through her thoughts, and she looked up to find her friend standing over her, a concerned expression on her face. “are you okay?”

y/n forced a smile. “yeah, just... tired.”

her teammate wasn’t convinced. “you’ve been off lately. is it still about jaemin?”

y/n paused. she had tried so hard to avoid talking about him, not wanting to reopen the wounds, but it was clear that her friend wasn’t going to let it go.

“i don’t know,” y/n admitted, her voice quieter than she intended. “i’m just... still confused. i don’t know what to feel anymore.”

her friend sighed, sitting down beside her. “you know, sometimes, it’s better to just let things go. you can’t control how people change, or how they hurt you. but you can control how you let it affect you.”

y/n nodded, even though she wasn’t sure she agreed. it wasn’t that simple. her heart felt shattered, torn between two people—jaemin, the boy she once thought she’d spend forever with, and jeno, the one who had been there all along, waiting patiently for her to figure things out.

later that evening, as y/n walked through campus, she caught sight of jeno sitting alone on a bench by the dorms, his gaze fixed on the ground. there was something about his posture, something resigned, that pulled at her heart. despite everything, he was always there, offering her his steady support.

without thinking, y/n found herself walking toward him.

“jeno?” she called softly as she approached.

he looked up, surprised, his expression softening as he saw her. “y/n. hey.”

“mind if i sit?” she asked, her voice tentative, unsure of what she was looking for in this moment.

“of course not.” he moved over to make room for her, and she sat down beside him, the space between them familiar and comforting in a way she hadn’t realized she needed.

for a long moment, neither of them spoke. the only sound between them was the rustle of leaves in the wind, the quiet hum of campus life in the distance.

y/n turned to him, her gaze searching his face. “jeno... i don’t know what to do anymore. with everything. with jaemin, with—”

“you don’t have to figure it all out right now,” jeno interrupted gently, his voice calm. “you don’t have to have all the answers. just... take your time. we’ll figure it out together.”

there was so much comfort in his words, in the way he was always steady when everything else felt uncertain. y/n wanted to believe him, to believe that things could still work between them, but the weight of her past with jaemin made it hard to fully embrace the idea.

“you’ve always been there for me,” y/n said quietly, her voice cracking slightly. “and i don’t want to hurt you, jeno. i just... i don’t know what’s right anymore.”

jeno gave her a small, understanding smile, the kind of smile that made her chest ache. “i’m not going anywhere, y/n. whenever you’re ready, i’ll be here. but i’m not going to push you.”

y/n could feel the sincerity in his words, and it hit her in a way she hadn’t expected. he wasn’t asking for anything. he wasn’t demanding that she figure it all out right away. he was just here, present, ready to support her no matter what.

“i’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “i’ve been so focused on trying to figure out what happened with jaemin that i didn’t even think about... what i might be doing to you.”

“y/n,” jeno said gently, reaching out to place a hand on hers. “you don’t owe me anything. i’ve always cared about you, and i always will. i just want you to be okay.”

her breath hitched in her throat, the weight of his words settling deep in her chest. for a moment, y/n felt the warmth of his hand in hers, the comfort of knowing that she wasn’t alone in this mess.

but the conflicting emotions inside her heart refused to subside. she wasn’t sure what she wanted, or who she wanted it with.

the weeks after the conversation with jeno felt like an emotional maze for y/n. each day brought with it new questions, new doubts, and a growing sense of uncertainty. every time she saw jaemin, her heart ached with the weight of what had been—what could have been. and whenever jeno’s eyes found hers, she felt the pang of guilt from not being able to fully let go of the past.

y/n had always prided herself on being able to handle difficult situations, to keep her emotions in check. but this was different. this wasn’t just a matter of keeping her focus during a soccer match or acing an exam. this was her heart, her friendships, her relationships—all tangled together in a mess of pain, betrayal, and longing.

she could no longer ignore the tension that had been building between the three of them. jaemin had been trying, in his own way, to reach out to her—whether through small gestures or the occasional message, but every attempt only seemed to pull her deeper into the emotional whirlwind she had been trying so hard to avoid.

and jeno... jeno, who had been nothing but supportive and patient, was beginning to look more and more like the person y/n should have turned to when everything fell apart. but the guilt of not being able to reciprocate his feelings was beginning to eat away at her.

it was during one of the rare moments when she was alone in the quiet of her dorm room, reflecting on everything, that y/n received a text from jaemin.

can we talk?

the words were simple, but they sent a shiver through her. she hadn’t heard from him like this in weeks—not since their last confrontation. she had been avoiding him, avoiding the rawness of their past, but now... now he was reaching out again, and she couldn’t ignore it any longer.

her fingers hovered over her phone as her heart raced in her chest. she wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear what he had to say, or if she even wanted to face him again. but she knew she had to. for her own peace of mind, she needed closure, even if it hurt.

when? she typed back, trying to mask the uncertainty in her voice.

now?

with a deep breath, she stood up, grabbed her jacket, and left the dorm. the campus was quiet at this time of night, the only sounds the distant hum of streetlights and the occasional rustling of leaves. her steps felt heavy as she walked toward the park where they had agreed to meet. the cool air did little to ease the tightness in her chest, and the closer she got to the park, the more she felt like she was walking into a storm.

jaemin was already sitting on a bench when she arrived, his back to her. he didn’t hear her approach, and for a moment, y/n just stood there, watching him. his shoulders were hunched, his posture stiff, but there was something about the way he sat that made her heart ache.

he was still the boy she loved, despite everything.

when he finally turned to see her, his expression was a mixture of relief and something more vulnerable—something that made y/n’s chest tighten.

“y/n,” jaemin’s voice was soft, like he was afraid she might disappear if he spoke too loudly. “i—” he paused, taking in a shaky breath. “i’m sorry. for everything. for what i did to you... and to jeno.”

y/n felt her throat tighten at the mention of jeno, but she didn’t interrupt. she needed to hear him out, even if it hurt.

“i was stupid,” jaemin continued, his voice cracking slightly. “i wasn’t thinking. i let my insecurities take over, and i hurt you in ways that i’ll never be able to take back.”

she looked at him, unsure of what to say. the words she wanted to say were stuck somewhere deep inside her, caught between anger and hurt, love and regret.

“you hurt me, jaemin,” she finally said, her voice soft but firm. “and not just once. over and over again.”

jaemin’s face fell, guilt overtaking his features. “i know,” he whispered, his eyes dropping to the ground. “i don’t expect you to forgive me. but i need you to know that i regret it. every day.”

y/n took a step back, her arms wrapping around herself as if trying to shield her heart. “i don’t know if i can ever forgive you. not the way i used to. not the way you want me to.”

jaemin’s face twisted in pain, but he nodded, as if he had expected that response. “i understand. i’m not asking you to forget, y/n. i just... i just wanted you to know that i’m sorry. i didn’t want to lose you.”

y/n’s chest tightened at the sincerity in his voice, but she could feel the walls she had built around herself strengthening. “you already did, jaemin. you lost me the moment you chose someone else.”

the words were harsh, but they were true. and as much as they hurt, they were the closure she needed.

for a long time, neither of them spoke. the silence between them was thick, filled with the weight of everything that had been said and everything that had been left unsaid.

finally, jaemin stood, and as he looked at her one last time, something in his eyes shifted—like he understood that this was it. he wasn’t going to get another chance to make things right, and y/n wasn’t going to allow herself to be pulled back into the same painful cycle.

“i’ll always care about you, jaemin” yn said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

jaemin nodded, his throat tight. “and i’ll always remember what we had. but i can’t keep living in the past.”

with that, she turned and walked away, her steps slow and deliberate. she didn’t look back as jaemin stood there yelling out apologies and begging her to come back”

the tension in the air was palpable. ever since the conversation with jaemin in the park, y/n had done her best to move forward. she had thrown herself into her training, trying to focus on her game and get through each day without the constant weight of the past on her shoulders. but it wasn’t that simple.

jaemin wasn’t just a shadow lingering in the back of her mind anymore; he was there, in her peripheral vision, always there. and with him came the rising tension—the tension that came with his jealousy, his frustration, and his desperate attempts to claw back something he had lost.

y/n had started to notice it on the field. it wasn’t just during practices anymore—jaemin’s jealousy was showing in the little moments. in the way his eyes would narrow every time jeno passed the ball to her, or how his voice would take on a sharp edge when he spoke to her, as if anything related to jeno irritated him. it was subtle at first—small, passive-aggressive comments about how “jeno seemed to think he was part of the girls’ team now,” or how “jeno must be really close to y/n to know exactly where all her classes are and her practice schedule”

but as the weeks went on, it became harder for y/n to ignore.

after a game one evening, where the boys’ team had played a particularly grueling match, jaemin cornered her in the locker room, his voice low and tense.

“do you really think it’s a good idea, spending so much time with jeno?” he asked, arms crossed over his chest. his eyes were dark, and his jaw clenched tightly.

y/n’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “what do you mean? jeno and i are friends,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

jaemin’s eyes flashed with something sharp—anger, maybe, or something darker. “i’m just saying. you’ve been hanging around him a lot lately. too much, don’t you think?” his tone was almost mocking, but it was laced with something else.

y/n took a step back, surprised at his words. “what’s your problem, jaemin?” she asked, the frustration in her voice growing. “jeno’s been nothing but supportive of me. we’ve been friends since freshman year.”

jaemin let out a short laugh, his gaze flickering to the ground before meeting hers again. “yeah, sure. friends. i bet that’s all it is. just friends,” he muttered bitterly, turning away from her with an almost sarcastic wave of his hand. “i’ll leave you to your ‘friendship’ then.”

y/n’s chest tightened, hurt flashing through her. she had never expected jaemin to be like this—not after everything they had been through. but his words, his tone—everything about him was dripping with jealousy. she could feel it, even in the space between them.

for a moment, neither of them spoke. the silence was heavy, suffocating. jaemin finally turned, his back to her, and y/n didn’t know whether to scream or walk away.

the rest of the night passed in a blur. she tried her best to shake off the encounter, but it kept replaying in her mind. jaemin had always been possessive, but this... this was different. his jealousy was like a storm brewing just beneath the surface, ready to spill over at any moment.

jaemin’s behavior began to worsen. he started making excuses to avoid speaking to y/n altogether, but when they did interact, his words were laced with bitterness, as if he was punishing her for things that weren’t her fault. he would drop little comments about her and jeno, as if testing the waters, pushing her boundaries to see how much she would take before finally snapping.

one night, after another game, the breaking point came. jaemin pulled y/n aside in the parking lot, his face twisted in anger.

“why are you so close to him? why can’t you see it, y/n? i’m the one who’s been there for you. i’m the one who’s always supported you!” jaemin’s voice was low, but it was shaking with frustration. “i’ve been waiting for you to come around. but you keep pushing me away for him!”

y/n’s eyes widened as his words sank in, and for the first time in a long while, she felt her own anger flare up.

“i’ve never asked you to do that, jaemin!” she shot back, her voice cracking. “you don’t get to treat me like this just because you’re a selfish asshole! you broke my trust, and now you’re making it worse by acting like i owe you something.”

jaemin’s expression faltered, and for a moment, y/n saw a flicker of guilt in his eyes. but it was quickly replaced by frustration, and he stormed off, leaving y/n standing there, her heart racing.

she stood in the parking lot for a long time, trying to calm her breath, but the ache in her chest only grew.

jaemin had become more unpredictable, his behavior erratic. the once carefree, joking boy she had fallen for had been replaced by someone who was bitter, angry, and manipulative.

and jeno... jeno, who had always been there for her, was caught in the middle. y/n could see how much it was hurting him to watch jaemin spiral, but he stayed quiet. he didn’t push her to choose between them. he never had.

but y/n could feel the weight of it all, the pull of the past and the future, and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep pretending that everything was okay.

the tension was becoming unbearable. jaemin’s jealousy was no longer something she could ignore. it was poisoning everything, and y/n wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep herself from falling into the same trap again.

y/n had never felt so torn between two people she once thought she could rely on. jaemin had been her everything once—her best friend, her confidant, the one who’d held her hand through all of life’s uncertainties. but somewhere along the way, he had betrayed her trust, broken their bond, and left her to pick up the pieces of her heart. then there was jeno, who had quietly stood by her side, never pushing her, but always present, in a way she couldn’t ignore anymore.

junior year was almost over, and with it, the façade y/n had put up for so long. she had tried so hard to balance the pain jaemin had caused her with the tenderness she felt from jeno. she’d buried the anger, the hurt, and the confusion, but it was all bubbling up now, and she couldn’t hold it in any longer. the exhaustion was overwhelming. every interaction with jaemin felt like a warzone, and every moment with jeno felt like a bittersweet reminder of what could’ve been. she was drained—emotionally, mentally, physically—and she knew something had to give.

it happened after a particularly tense practice. the girls had just finished their drills when she spotted jaemin and jeno across the field, talking, but there was an edge to their conversation that y/n couldn’t ignore. jaemin’s body language was rigid, and jeno’s face was unreadable. there was too much unspoken history between the three of them, and y/n couldn’t shake the feeling that she was standing on the sidelines of her own life, watching as the people she cared about most drifted further apart.

y/n waited until practice ended, when jaemin finally approached her. she’d been dreading this moment, but she knew it was coming. he had been quiet for days, and she couldn’t pretend anymore.

“y/n,” jaemin’s voice was soft but urgent, like he needed her to understand. “we need to talk.”

she nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. the air felt thick between them, charged with everything they hadn’t said, everything they hadn’t resolved.

“jaemin,” she began, her voice steady but strained. “i don’t think we can keep pretending like everything's okay.”

jaemin’s face tightened, his hands shifting nervously at his sides. “i don’t want to lose you, y/n. i know i screwed up. but i can’t keep living in this tension with you. i miss you. i miss us.”

y/n’s chest tightened, her heart pounding in her ears. “i don’t know if i can forgive you, jaemin,” she said, her voice wavering. “what you did… it broke me. and the way you’ve treated jeno—it’s not fair to either of us.”

jaemin flinched, but y/n pressed on, needing to say the words she had been holding back for so long.

“you don’t get to demand my forgiveness,” she continued, her voice growing stronger with each word. “i’ve spent the past year trying to figure out if i can ever trust you again, and i can’t. you hurt me in ways i don’t even know how to explain. i’m tired of pretending like i’m okay with it.”

tears welled up in jaemin’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything at first. he simply stood there, absorbing her words. his face twisted with guilt and sadness, but there was also something else there—a recognition of the truth she had finally voiced.

“i’m sorry, y/n,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “i didn’t mean to hurt you. i never wanted to lose you.”

the pain in his voice almost broke her, but y/n stood firm. she had to.

“i need to focus on myself now, jaemin,” she said, her voice shaking with the weight of the decision. “i can’t keep holding onto something that isn’t there anymore. i need space. from you. from everything.”

jaemin’s face crumpled as he nodded, unable to find the words to respond. but y/n didn’t wait for him to say anything else. she turned and walked away, feeling her heart shatter with every step she took, but also feeling lighter—like she had finally made the decision she needed to make.

later that evening, y/n found herself on the bench outside, her thoughts racing. she was still shaken by the confrontation, her emotions raw. but in the quiet moments, she started to realize something she hadn’t fully acknowledged before: how much she had been leaning on jeno. his quiet support, his gentle encouragement, the way he had been there for her without pushing her, without trying to fix everything—he had become her anchor.

she didn’t know when it had shifted, but somewhere along the way, jeno had become more than just her friend. she had relied on him in ways she hadn’t wanted to admit. and now, as she thought about everything that had happened with jaemin, she realized that maybe—just maybe—there was a part of her that had been falling for jeno all along. she didn’t know what that meant for her, or for their friendship, but she couldn’t ignore the feeling growing in her chest.

the thought made her heart race, but she couldn’t bring herself to face it fully just yet. the pain from everything with jaemin was still too fresh, too raw.

the next few weeks were a blur. jaemin withdrew further into himself, giving y/n the space she had demanded. the boys’ team continued on , and the girls’ team was stronger than ever. jeno remained by her side, a steady presence in a world that felt like it was crumbling.

y/n didn’t know what would happen next. she wasn’t sure if she was ready to open her heart to jeno or if she was still too broken from the past. but she knew one thing for sure: she couldn’t keep living in the past, and she couldn’t keep running from the feelings she had for him. it was time for her to figure out who she was—without jaemin, without jeno, and without the weight of their mistakes on her shoulders.

SENIOR YEAR

as senior year begins, the weight of the past hangs heavily over y/n, jaemin, and jeno. it’s like an invisible wall between y/n and jaemin—every interaction charged with the ghosts of their past and the pain of betrayal. y/n can’t shake the memories of jaemin’s infidelity, and despite the months that have passed since, the scars are still raw. she’s exhausted from carrying the burden of their broken relationship and the emotional toll it’s taken on her.

jaemin, on the other hand, is still consumed by guilt. the boy who once had so much confidence and charm has become a shadow of himself. his attempts to reach out to y/n—through small gestures, texts, and even the occasional private conversation—are met with indifference. every time he apologizes, y/n’s response is distant, noncommittal, and filled with pain. she can't forgive him, not yet. maybe not ever.

jaemin, desperate to regain her trust, falls into a cycle of self-doubt. he can’t let go of the fact that he betrayed her, and the realization that he’s lost her, perhaps forever, only feeds his spiraling behavior. he starts showing up late to practice, missing key training sessions, and losing focus on the field. his performance begins to falter, his frustration growing, but he refuses to confront the root of his issues—his inability to move forward from the guilt and shame he feels.

the boys' team, once cohesive, begins to feel the strain. jeno, still trying to be a support system for both y/n and jaemin, finds himself caught in the middle. he’s seen firsthand how much y/n has suffered, and he can’t help but feel the bitterness growing between the two people who once meant so much to him. but he’s also aware of how much jaemin is spiraling, how his emotional instability is affecting their entire team dynamic.

meanwhile, y/n grows more withdrawn. she can no longer pretend that everything is fine. every time she sees jaemin, her heart aches with the memory of his betrayal. she wishes she could hate him—make it easier to move on—but that’s not who she is. instead, she retreats into herself, focusing on her studies and soccer, trying to drown out the emotional noise.

her relationship with jeno deepens as he becomes the one constant in her life. while jeno doesn’t push her to talk, he’s always there, offering quiet comfort. they continue their friendship, but the more time y/n spends with him, the more she realizes just how much she’s come to rely on him. he’s not the reason she’s avoiding jaemin, but in his own quiet way, jeno becomes her safe space. it’s unspoken, the bond that’s forming between them, but it’s undeniable.

jaemin can’t stand it. watching y/n grow closer to jeno only feeds his jealousy. he tries to lash out, throwing passive-aggressive comments at jeno, but the latter doesn’t react. the distance between jaemin and y/n only grows wider as jaemin's self-destructive behavior intensifies. his jealousy becomes palpable, but he doesn’t know how to deal with it, except by pulling away more and more. it’s a vicious cycle: the more he pushes, the more y/n pulls away, and the more it fuels his resentment.

through all of this, y/n remains steadfast in her belief that she needs to focus on herself. she can't afford to fall back into the toxic cycle she once had with jaemin. but the weight of her feelings for both him and jeno is starting to take its toll on her. she knows she can’t keep juggling the expectations, the unresolved emotions, and the pressure to maintain the facade of normalcy.

jaemin’s attempts to make amends only seem to create more tension. every apology, every moment where he reaches out, is now a reminder of the trust that has been broken. it’s like a broken record—his words seem hollow, and y/n is no longer willing to listen.

jaemin reaches his breaking point when he realizes that no matter how much he tries, y/n isn’t going to forgive him. his emotional volatility begins to affect his performance on the field in ways it never has before. his usual charisma and leadership are replaced with frustration and irritability. it’s a clear sign to those around him that he’s struggling, but he refuses to confront his issues. instead, he turns inward, spiraling further into his guilt.

jeno, however, notices. he sees through jaemin’s facade. he’s been friends with jaemin long enough to know that this isn’t the jaemin he remembers. but jeno has his own burdens. he’s not just trying to support y/n; he’s silently dealing with his own feelings for her. watching her suffer because of jaemin only fuels his protective instincts. he wants to be there for her—wants to be the one she turns to when everything falls apart.

as senior year progresses, the tension between y/n and jaemin only grows. jaemin’s efforts to fix things are becoming more desperate, while y/n remains resolute in her decision to protect her heart. jeno watches the two of them, helpless in the middle, but trying to give y/n the space she needs to heal.

but the cracks are becoming more visible. jaemin’s self-destructive behavior is starting to cost him more than just his relationship with y/n; it’s affecting his relationships with everyone around him. and as y/n moves further away from him, she finds herself looking toward jeno more and more—unsure of what the future holds but realizing that perhaps the person who’s been there all along might be the one who helps her pick up the pieces of her broken heart.

as the months of senior year drag on, jaemin’s inability to move past his mistakes continues to take its toll, not only on his personal life but also on his career as a soccer player. the once-confident, charismatic team captain has fallen from grace, and his internal turmoil is becoming more apparent with every passing day. his guilt over betraying y/n, combined with the increasing pressure of trying to rebuild their broken relationship, is starting to unravel him.

on the field, jaemin is nowhere near the player he once was. his focus is scattered, his energy is off, and he’s constantly distracted. his once natural leadership is now overshadowed by his inability to keep it together. his performance on the field has been slipping for weeks, but it's not until a crucial game against a rival school that his reckless behavior finally leads to a major setback for the boys’ team.

the game is everything. it’s the deciding match for whether they’ll advance to the regional championships. jaemin, feeling the weight of the stakes and overwhelmed by the pressure to redeem himself, becomes reckless. he overcompensates, trying to push himself too hard in the heat of the game, desperate to prove his worth to everyone—his teammates, the coaches, and especially y/n. but in his haste, he makes a catastrophic mistake: a poorly timed pass leads to a turnover that results in a crucial goal for the other team, setting his squad back in an irreversible way.

the crowd’s disappointment is palpable, and the coaches’ frustration is evident as they pull jaemin from the field. his teammates’ silent judgment cuts deeper than anything he’s ever felt. jaemin can’t bring himself to face them or the consequences of his actions. the guilt floods in once more, but it’s different now. it’s not just the guilt of hurting y/n—it’s the overwhelming realization that he’s failed everyone around him, including himself.

after the game, jaemin isolates himself even further. he can’t face his teammates, who are all visibly frustrated with him. instead of seeking comfort from those who might understand, he withdraws. it’s a familiar feeling—the loneliness that has haunted him throughout the year—but it feels heavier now. every failure feels like it’s stacking on top of him, weighing him down with the realization that he has no one to turn to.

meanwhile, jeno begins to rise in prominence. his performance during the game is flawless, and his leadership shines through, even in the wake of jaemin’s mistake. he is the one who steps up, leading the boys' team to salvage what they can from the game and earning the respect and admiration that jaemin can no longer seem to command.

the contrast is stark: where jaemin once was the leader, jeno now shines. jaemin can see it all too clearly. jeno’s humility and grace on the field, his consistent performance, and his ability to be there for his teammates in the toughest of moments have earned him the spotlight jaemin so desperately craves but can no longer hold. the more jaemin watches jeno succeed, the deeper his sense of failure grows.

it’s not just on the field. jeno has also become a constant presence in y/n’s life. as the two of them spend more time together, their bond strengthens, and jaemin can’t ignore how close they’ve become. every glance, every shared smile between them feels like a reminder of what he’s lost—not only in terms of soccer but in terms of his relationship with y/n. the jealousy simmers beneath the surface, but jaemin is too wrapped up in his self-destructive thoughts to confront it head-on.

for the first time in his life, jaemin feels like a failure—not just to his teammates, but to himself. he’s become consumed by his guilt, bitterness, and jealousy. instead of redeeming himself, he has pushed y/n further away, sabotaged his friendships, and watched as jeno quietly earned everything jaemin thought was his.

the emotional weight is almost unbearable. jaemin can no longer deny that he’s lost control of his life, both on and off the field. and as he watches jeno rise, he’s faced with the stark reality: the man he once was, the person he thought he could be, is slipping away. the question now isn’t about how he can get y/n back—it’s about whether he can fix himself before he loses everything.

as the months of senior year wear on, jeno’s role in y/n’s life becomes more integral than ever before. he’s always been there, supporting her quietly from the sidelines, respecting her boundaries without ever pushing for more. after everything that’s happened with jaemin, y/n has learned to rely on jeno in ways she never thought she would. despite the wreckage of the past, jeno has never faltered in his loyalty to her. and now, as she continues to heal from the heartbreak and confusion jaemin left behind, jeno’s presence is one of the few constants she can cling to.

jeno never pressures her for anything, never expects anything in return. he simply is there. he shows up in ways that are subtle but meaningful—checking in with her after tough practices, offering a quiet word of encouragement when she’s feeling defeated, and being a steady presence during moments of vulnerability. y/n, still grappling with the emotional weight of her past, finds comfort in his steadiness. she knows she can count on him, no matter what. he’s the one person she can trust without hesitation, a stark contrast to the chaos that has surrounded her love life over the past two years.

while their connection remains primarily rooted in friendship, the way jeno has been there for her throughout the years starts to leave a deeper imprint on y/n. there’s a calmness to him that’s easy to be drawn to—a quiet strength that doesn’t demand attention but can always be relied upon. in a way, jeno is the anchor y/n never knew she needed. his patience and understanding provide her with the safe space she’s been craving, and as they spend more time together, y/n begins to realize just how much he means to her.

jeno’s support has been unwavering, even when the weight of jaemin’s actions and her own self-doubt have threatened to pull her under. jeno listens without judgment when she opens up about her struggles and doesn’t rush to offer advice or solutions. he simply listens and allows her to feel everything she needs to feel, never making her feel like she’s burdening him. his genuine care for her emotional well-being gradually helps y/n rediscover parts of herself that she thought were lost forever—her ability to trust, to be vulnerable, and to believe that she deserves to be happy.

as the year progresses, y/n begins to recognize how much jeno has become a cornerstone in her recovery. she’s not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way, she’s started relying on him more than she realizes. his presence no longer feels like just the comforting familiarity of an old friend—it feels like something more, something that she hadn’t allowed herself to entertain before. every time they spend time together, she begins to notice the little things about him: the way his eyes light up when he smiles, the way his laugh makes her heart flutter, and how much she values the quiet moments of connection they share.

this growing bond between them doesn’t go unnoticed by y/n, and it begins to make her question everything. could she ever open up to him in the way she once did with jaemin? could she ever allow herself to love him as deeply as she thought she loved jaemin? the questions plague her, but y/n can’t ignore the growing warmth in her chest whenever jeno is near. there’s something so comforting and steady about him that she can’t help but wonder if he’s exactly what she’s been looking for all along.

but there’s still a lingering uncertainty in y/n’s heart. she’s been burned before, and she’s not sure if she’s ready to open herself up to the possibility of falling for someone again, especially someone as important to her as jeno. she knows that she can’t rush her feelings—she can’t rush the healing process. but with every passing day, y/n’s emotional walls begin to crumble just a little bit more, and jeno’s quiet, steady presence is there to catch her when they do.

the distance between y/n and jaemin seems insurmountable. y/n has grown closer to jeno, and jaemin, despite his attempts to mask his feelings, can’t help but feel the growing resentment and jealousy. it’s not just the friendship between y/n and jeno that bothers him—it’s the constant reminder that jeno was there for her when he failed her, when he walked away from their relationship, when he let her down. jaemin’s insecurities and guilt fuel his jealousy, and every time he sees jeno smile at y/n or hear them laughing together, it feels like a dagger to his heart.

jaemin tries to convince himself that he’s fine, that he’s moved on, but the truth is that he hasn’t. his feelings for y/n have never truly gone away. every time he sees them together—at practice, social gatherings, or simply hanging out between classes—the tight knot of jealousy twists in his chest. the more he watches them, the more broken he feels, realizing that he’s lost y/n, and there’s no easy way to get her back. this pain soon turns into frustration and confusion. he wants to reclaim what they had, but he doesn’t know how to fix what’s already been shattered.

unable to handle the weight of his jealousy and guilt, jaemin begins to lash out in small, passive-aggressive ways. he makes snide comments to jeno when they cross paths, mocking his success on the field or teasing him about how close he’s become to y/n. when y/n is around, jaemin often says things that are dismissive or loaded with frustration, hoping to provoke a reaction, hoping to get under their skin. it’s his way of coping with the feelings he can’t articulate or face head-on. but his actions do nothing but create more distance between him and y/n, and deepen his own bitterness.

despite his increasingly erratic behavior, jaemin can’t stop himself. he watches jeno rise in prominence—on the field and off—and it only exacerbates his feelings of failure. jaemin knows that jeno is everything he isn’t: calm, steady, patient. jeno has been there for y/n in ways jaemin never could, and as much as he hates to admit it, jaemin feels like he’s losing her for good. the desperation to get her back grows stronger, but every attempt he makes only pushes her further away.

the tension comes to a head during an intense practice session. the boys’ team is gearing up for an important game, and the pressure is high. jaemin, already struggling with his internal conflict, becomes increasingly reckless. his focus is shattered, and his performance suffers. when a particularly intense play goes wrong because of jaemin’s lack of focus, the frustration from both his teammates and the coaching staff mounts. jaemin can feel the eyes of his teammates on him, disappointed and frustrated. the weight of his failures—on the field and in his personal life—bursts out of him in an explosive meltdown. he lashes out, not only at his teammates but also at jeno, blaming him for everything. in a moment of complete emotional breakdown, jaemin storms off the field, leaving both teams in stunned silence.

the eruption of his emotions doesn’t go unnoticed, and it becomes a moment of reckoning for both jaemin and everyone around him. he has pushed his anger and guilt so far into the back of his mind that it finally comes spilling out in a public, uncontrollable outburst. his colleagues are shocked, unsure of how to handle the situation, but jaemin doesn’t care. all he can think about is the turmoil inside him—the guilt over losing y/n, his jealousy over jeno’s growing presence in her life, and the crushing weight of his own self-doubt.

y/n, having witnessed jaemin’s meltdown from a distance, knows that this moment can’t be ignored. she can no longer avoid the confrontation that’s been looming over her for months. the unresolved tension between her and jaemin is suffocating, and she knows that she can’t continue to keep her emotions bottled up. she finally decides to confront him, to demand the answers that she’s been too afraid to ask.

when they meet in private later, it’s raw and painful. jaemin, despite the guilt written all over his face, can’t seem to form the right words. his apologies come out desperate, but they feel empty to y/n. he begs her to understand that he never meant to hurt her, that he never wanted to lose her, but the weight of his actions hangs heavily between them. y/n, her heart breaking all over again, finally lets out everything she’s been holding inside. she tells him how deeply he hurt her, how his betrayal shattered her trust, and how he emotionally abandoned her when she needed him most. she admits that she will never be able to forgive him for what he did, that the damage is irreparable.

y/n, broken yet resolute, finally says the words that have been lingering in the air for months: “we’re over, jaemin. for good.” the finality in her voice cuts through the thick silence between them, and jaemin knows that this time, there’s no going back.

in that moment, y/n feels a sense of closure, but it’s not a peaceful kind of closure. it’s the painful kind that only comes after everything has been laid bare, after every raw emotion has been exposed. jaemin has lost her, and she has lost him. the weight of it all is crushing, but y/n knows she’s made the right decision. she can’t keep living in the shadow of his mistakes, and she deserves to find peace, even if it means leaving jaemin behind.

jaemin watches her leave, the sting of her words echoing in his chest. he stands there, alone and defeated, knowing that the person he loved is finally gone from his life. he has no one to blame but himself.

after jaemin’s emotional breakdown at practice, the tension between him and jeno reaches a boiling point. the air is thick with unspoken words as jaemin’s jealousy and guilt continue to simmer. jeno, ever the composed and patient one, has remained calm throughout the ordeal, but this time, something snaps within him. he can no longer stand by and watch jaemin tear himself apart and take everyone down with him.

it happens after practice, as the boys’ team is cooling down. jaemin is pacing restlessly, his mind clouded with anger and frustration. he can’t shake the image of y/n and jeno—how close they’ve become, how much jeno has been there for her when jaemin couldn’t be. the jealousy is gnawing at him again, twisting every thought in his head. he feels as though the walls are closing in around him, and he can’t breathe.

jeno, having just finished a set of drills, walks toward him, his usual calm demeanor masking the concern brewing inside him. he’s been trying to get through to jaemin for weeks, but the guy seems impossible to reach.

"jaemin," jeno calls out, his voice steady but firm, “you need to stop. you’re not just hurting yourself—you're hurting everyone around you.”

jaemin stops pacing and looks up at jeno, his eyes wild with emotion. the words come out in a venomous hiss. “what do you know about what i’m going through, huh? you think you’re some perfect hero, standing there with your fake sympathy, acting like you care about me? or y/n?”

jeno’s patience wears thin, and he takes a step closer. “this isn’t about us, jaemin. you’re spiraling. we’re trying to help you, but you’re pushing everyone away.”

jaemin’s hands clench into fists, his breathing ragged. “help me? you don’t even understand. you think you can just step in and take over like you’ve always been the better guy? you think you’re the one who deserves y/n?”

the words hit harder than jeno expects, and for a moment, he’s taken aback. he doesn’t know if jaemin is just lashing out in his pain or if there’s something deeper at play, but the mention of y/n makes his blood boil. he can’t hold back anymore.

without thinking, jeno steps forward and shoves jaemin’s shoulder hard, a physical push meant to get him to back off. "enough. you’re not thinking clearly.”

but jaemin’s temper flares up instantly. his eyes darken with rage, and before jeno can react, jaemin swings a fist at him, hitting his chest with a force that knocks jeno back a step.

"don’t touch me!" jaemin yells, his voice cracking with a mix of anger and frustration. "you have no idea what it’s like to lose everything!"

jeno’s mind is spinning, his heart racing, but he’s not going to back down now. he shoves jaemin back, this time harder, and they stand face to face, only inches apart, both breathing heavily. "and you’re about to lose everyone, jaemin, if you don’t get your act together. y/n deserves better than this. you’re not helping her or yourself by destroying everything."

jaemin’s face contorts with pain, and for a split second, it almost looks like he’s going to break down. but instead, his eyes harden, and he takes a step forward, his fists raised again.

"stay the hell away from her, jeno!" jaemin spits out, his voice laced with venom.

but jeno, now pushing back his own frustration and anger, grabs jaemin by the wrist, forcing him to face the reality of the situation. "i’m not going to let you drag her into your mess any longer. you want to fix things? stop running from it. stop blaming everyone else."

the two stand there, the tension crackling in the air, neither of them moving. for a moment, everything is still. jeno’s grip on jaemin’s wrist tightens, not in anger, but to ground the situation, to get jaemin to listen. jaemin’s chest heaves with ragged breaths, his emotions spilling over in every movement. but after a few moments, jaemin’s eyes flicker with a mix of shame and frustration. he pulls away, stumbling back, his voice barely a whisper, but still full of bitterness.

"get out of my face, jeno. i don’t need your help. i never did."

jeno doesn’t move, his eyes softening, though the hurt is still there. "i’m not leaving you, jaemin. i can’t just stand by and watch you destroy yourself."

jaemin scoffs, shaking his head. "then maybe you should have stayed out of it from the start."

with that, jaemin turns and walks away, leaving jeno standing there in silence, the weight of their confrontation hanging in the air like an unspoken truth.

jeno’s heart aches, but he knows there’s nothing more he can do for jaemin—not until jaemin is ready to face the truth himself.

as the fallout from jaemin’s betrayal continues to cast a long shadow over y/n’s heart, jeno quietly becomes her anchor. he’s always been there, but now, his presence feels different. there are moments when she realizes how much she’s come to rely on him—how steady and constant he’s been when everything else in her life has been in turmoil. the emotional bond between them grows stronger as y/n opens up to him in ways she hasn’t been able to with anyone else.

jeno, for his part, has never wavered. he’s been patient, never pushing y/n, but always available when she needs him. he’s seen the pain in her eyes, felt the tremors of her heartache, and offered his quiet support from the sidelines. but lately, the way y/n looks at him has changed. the small, lingering glances, the way she leans on him when the weight of her day gets too much—it’s all starting to feel more intimate, more real. they both know it, even if neither of them is ready to say it aloud.

it’s after one particularly grueling practice that jeno finds the courage to take the next step. the team has just finished a session, and the night air is cool as y/n sits alone on the bleachers, exhausted but still lost in thought. jeno approaches her slowly, as if testing the waters, and sits down beside her. for a moment, neither of them speaks. the silence between them is comfortable, but there’s something different about it now—a quiet anticipation.

jeno clears his throat before speaking, his voice unusually soft. “y/n,” he starts, his gaze lingering on her but never meeting her eyes. “i need to tell you something.”

y/n looks up at him, confused. she’s never seen him so serious, so vulnerable. “what is it?”

jeno exhales deeply, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. the weight of his words is heavier than he expected. “i’ve always loved you. i just didn’t know how to say it.”

y/n’s breath catches in her throat, her heart pounding in her chest. she blinks, unsure of how to process his confession. she’s never seen jeno in this light before—he’s always been her rock, her friend, but now his words hang between them, so raw, so real.

she doesn’t know what to say. a thousand thoughts race through her mind, memories of jaemin’s betrayal, the pain of their relationship unraveling, the way she’d sworn never to let herself be vulnerable again. but in this moment, all of that seems distant, almost irrelevant. she looks at jeno and sees the quiet sincerity in his eyes—the way he’s always been there for her, never asking for anything in return.

jeno sees the hesitation in her eyes and his heart drops. he opens his mouth to say something more, but y/n beats him to it.

“i—jeno, i didn’t know.” her voice is barely above a whisper. “i did realize how much... how much you’ve always been there for me. but now... i don’t know what to say.”

jeno nods, understanding. he’s not expecting anything from her right away. he’s been patient for so long, and he knows y/n needs time. “you don’t have to say anything,” he replies quietly. “i just... i couldn’t keep it to myself anymore.”

there’s a long pause as y/n processes his words, her emotions swirling in her chest. she can’t help but feel a shift in herself. as much as she’s tried to keep her heart guarded, jeno has slowly chipped away at those walls without her even realizing it. he’s always been there, offering support, offering love in the most unspoken ways. and now, with his confession, she can no longer ignore the feelings she’s developed for him—feelings she didn’t want to have, not after everything with jaemin.

finally, y/n turns to him, her eyes soft. “jeno, i... i think i might feel the same way,” she admits, her voice trembling with a mix of relief and fear. “i’ve been so afraid of getting hurt again, but you’ve been here for me, even when i didn’t deserve it.”

jeno smiles, the weight lifting from his shoulders. “you’ve always deserved it, y/n. you just didn’t know it yet.”

and for the first time in a long time, y/n feels like she’s finally where she’s meant to be.

as their relationship begins to shift into something more, y/n and jeno find themselves spending even more time together. their bond, once rooted in friendship, now flourishes in the space between quiet conversations and shared moments of understanding. every time y/n looks at jeno, she sees not just the friend she’s known for years, but someone who has truly been there for her when she needed him the most.

jeno, for his part, is patient and careful, never rushing things, but always present. he’s no longer just the quiet support he once was; he’s becoming the person y/n confides in the most. they find themselves talking for hours, even on days when there’s nothing urgent to say. jeno listens intently to y/n, offering words of encouragement when she doubts herself, his voice always steady and reassuring. when y/n has a bad day or feels the weight of the past dragging her down, jeno is the one she turns to, and he’s always there, without fail.

their time together starts to shift from the familiar rhythm of friendship to something more intimate. they grab coffee together before practice, their fingers brushing when they both reach for the cup. it’s innocent, a fleeting moment, but it makes both of them pause, just for a second, realizing how natural it feels. there’s an ease between them now, a shared history that makes their bond stronger than ever. the way jeno looks at her, his eyes filled with admiration, and the way she catches herself smiling when they share a joke—it all feels like the beginning of something new.

they spend more time outside of soccer too. jeno starts inviting y/n to small, low-key hangouts—movie nights, walks around the campus, even late-night ice cream runs when the weight of their studies gets too heavy to bear. these moments, simple as they are, become cherished memories for both of them. y/n finds herself looking forward to these quiet times with him, moments when the world slows down and it’s just the two of them, enjoying each other’s company without any pressure or expectations.

one evening, after a long week of practice and studying, jeno takes y/n to a small, tucked-away café on the edge of town. they sit outside, sipping hot chocolate under the soft glow of string lights, the air crisp and refreshing. they talk about everything and nothing—how their teams are doing, their plans for the future, and the small, silly things that make them laugh. jeno’s laughter is like a balm to y/n’s soul, and she finds herself laughing in a way she hasn’t in so long.

as the night stretches on, jeno becomes quieter, his eyes studying y/n as if he’s memorizing every detail of the moment. finally, he speaks, his voice soft but steady.

“you know, i’ve always loved spending time with you,” he says, his tone almost too gentle for the weight of his words. “but now, it feels different. in a good way, though.”

y/n meets his gaze, her heart fluttering slightly. she knows exactly what he means. there’s something undeniably deeper between them now—something unspoken but always present, lingering in the quiet moments they share.

“i feel the same way,” y/n admits, her voice barely above a whisper. she takes a deep breath before continuing, unsure of what comes next. “i didn’t realize how much i needed this, how much i needed you.”

jeno’s expression softens, a small, warm smile playing at the corners of his lips. “i’ll always be here for you, y/n. whatever you need.”

his words mean more to her than she could express. it’s not just about the reassurance; it’s the sincerity behind them, the unshakeable presence he’s given her since the very beginning. it’s comforting and grounding, the way she can rely on him without question.

as the weeks go by, y/n’s heart begins to heal in ways she didn’t think were possible. jeno’s love is different from anything she ever thought she needed, but it’s everything she’s come to crave. it’s steady and gentle, always patient, and never demanding. they share the quiet, tender moments that begin to stitch her heart back together—small gestures like a soft touch on the shoulder or the way jeno looks at her when she’s not paying attention.

their relationship deepens further with each passing day. there are no grand gestures, no rush, just a growing sense of security and warmth that builds between them. jeno’s hand finds its place in hers more often now, their fingers intertwining as they walk to and from class, the simple act a silent promise of what they’re becoming.

there’s a day during midterms when y/n is feeling particularly overwhelmed. jeno notices the way she’s rubbing her temples, the exhaustion written all over her face, and without a word, he takes her study materials and pulls her away from the books. he insists they take a break, dragging her out for a walk around the campus, forcing her to breathe and focus on something other than the weight of the semester. it’s in moments like this that y/n realizes just how much jeno cares for her—how much he’s always cared, even when she didn’t see it.

as the weeks turn into months, y/n’s feelings for jeno only grow stronger. it’s not just his patience or the way he supports her—it’s the way he makes her feel safe. he’s the person she’s finally allowed herself to trust again, the person she knows will never let her down.

one night, after a game, when the adrenaline has worn off and they’re sitting on the grass, watching the sunset together, y/n leans her head against jeno’s shoulder. the peace between them is tangible, and she knows, without a doubt, that this is where she’s meant to be.

for the first time since jaemin, y/n feels truly happy, and it’s with jeno, the person who’s been there all along, quietly, patiently waiting for the chance to make her his. it feels like a second chance—not just at love, but at life, at healing.

the final year of college has flown by, a blur of practices, games, and emotional highs and lows. y/n, jeno, and jaemin find themselves standing at the threshold of a new chapter, the world of professional soccer calling their names. the three of them have worked so hard to reach this point, each driven by their own dreams and aspirations, but now that graduation has arrived, it feels bittersweet. it’s not just the end of college; it’s the end of an era for all of them.

the atmosphere in the locker room is charged with excitement, nerves, and anticipation as the day of signing for their respective teams finally arrives. it’s a moment they’ve all dreamed of, and now it’s here. they’ve each worked tirelessly to get to this point, and their futures are about to change forever.

y/n holds her breath as she watches the team representatives enter, the thick envelopes containing offers for professional contracts in their hands. her heart beats faster when her name is called first. she’s been offered a spot with a prestigious women's team in the usa, a huge accomplishment and a dream come true. it’s a victory she’s worked years for, and as she holds the contract in her hands, she feels a rush of pride and excitement. but as she glances over at jeno and jaemin, she can’t ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach. she knows something else is coming—the realization that their paths are diverging in ways that are beyond their control.

then, it’s jeno and jaemin’s turn. the room goes quiet as the tension rises. they’ve both been offered a spot on the same team—one of the top teams in korea. the news hits y/n like a wave. they’ll be playing for the same team, side by side, in korea, while she’s headed in the complete opposite direction. the irony doesn’t escape her. once, they were all three so intertwined in their lives, their friendships, and their dreams. now, their futures are pulling them apart.

jeno glances over at y/n, his expression unreadable. he’d always hoped they could find a way to make things work, but as reality sets in, a silent understanding passes between them. her future is in the usa, and his is in korea. there’s no way their relationship can survive such distance, especially with their professional commitments looming over them. the time they spent together—growing closer, learning from each other, falling in love—feels like it was just a moment in time. the possibility of continuing their love story seems impossible, as much as they want to.

jaemin, meanwhile, stands a little further away, his own feelings tangled in the mix. he’s proud of both y/n and jeno, but the reality of it all is suffocating. he’s tried so hard to fix things with y/n, but now, seeing how their futures are pulling them in different directions, it feels like everything has slipped through his fingers. he doesn’t know what’s next for him and y/n, but he can’t deny that the emotional baggage of their past might just be the thing that keeps them apart, even if he still wishes he could somehow undo it all.

after the signing ceremony, y/n, jeno, and jaemin find themselves alone in a quiet corner of the campus. it’s the last time they’ll all be together like this, the weight of it heavy in the air. jeno looks at y/n with a mixture of love and sadness in his eyes. he’s always been the steady one, the one who supported her through thick and thin. but as much as he wants to hold on to the hope of a future together, reality is crashing down around them.

“i’m proud of you,” he says softly, his voice thick with emotion. “you deserve this, y/n. you’ve worked so hard.”

y/n’s eyes well up with tears, and she smiles through the ache in her chest. “i’m proud of you, too, jeno. i always have been.”

but then, the silence falls between them. it’s the unspoken truth that neither of them can ignore—their love story was never meant to last with the paths they’re about to take. they both know it, but neither can say the words out loud, not just yet.

jaemin stands a little to the side, watching the two of them. he can see the pain in both of their eyes, the unspoken goodbye they’re each trying to avoid. as much as he wants to be angry, as much as he wants to hold on to the hope of fixing things with y/n, he knows that their futures are too different now. there’s no easy way to say goodbye, but in his heart, he knows it’s the only way forward.

finally, it’s y/n who breaks the silence. she turns to jeno, her voice trembling slightly. “i think…i think we both know this can’t work, jeno.”

jeno swallows hard, his gaze meeting hers. the love they’ve shared, the bond they’ve formed—it’s real, but the reality of their careers, their lives, their futures—it’s too big to ignore. he nods, his chest heavy with the weight of it all.

“i know,” he says quietly. “i love you, y/n. i always will, but i don’t want to hold you back. you have your future ahead of you, and i can’t be the reason you don’t go for it.”

y/n smiles softly, her heart breaking all over again. “i love you too, jeno. i always will, but this…this isn’t the time for us. i need to do this on my own.”

the night before y/n’s departure, the campus is quiet. graduation is over, the signing ceremony is done, and now it’s just the lingering goodbyes and the last few moments before they all part ways for good. y/n sits in her dorm room, packing the last of her belongings into a suitcase. her heart feels heavy, weighed down by the reality of everything that’s happened. jeno is going to korea, jaemin is staying in the city, and y/n, despite all her achievements, can’t shake the sense of emptiness that’s settled in her chest.

she’s been trying to stay strong, trying to be excited for the future ahead, but as the hours tick by, the truth becomes unavoidable. she’s about to leave behind everything that’s been familiar to her for so long—her friends, her teammates, the life she’s built here. but it’s not just the soccer; it’s jeno. the bond they shared, the way they supported each other through the darkest moments, the love that had started to grow between them—it feels like it’s being torn apart by the distance that looms ahead.

as she stares out of the window at the darkening sky, there’s a knock at her door. it’s soft at first, hesitant. but y/n knows exactly who it is before she even opens it.

when she swings the door open, jeno stands there, looking exhausted and conflicted. his hands are stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie, his gaze fixed on the floor. he doesn’t say anything at first, but the sadness in his eyes speaks volumes.

y/n steps aside, letting him in, her heart aching at the sight of him. she’s tried so hard to push down her feelings, to convince herself that this is just the way things are. but seeing him like this, standing on the edge of everything, it shatters the walls she’s carefully built.

“jeno…” she whispers, unsure of what to say.

“i don’t want you to leave,” he finally admits, his voice raw, thick with emotion. he looks up at her then, his eyes brimming with tears. “i don’t want to lose you.”

y/n feels a lump form in her throat as she meets his gaze. she’s always known how much jeno cares for her, how much he’s supported her, but seeing him like this—vulnerable, honest—it breaks her heart in a way she wasn’t prepared for. she thought she was the one struggling, the one fighting to let go. but now, in this moment, she realizes that jeno is struggling just as much.

“i don’t want to leave either, jeno,” she says softly, her voice trembling. “i don’t know how to say goodbye to you. it feels like everything i’ve known is slipping away.”

jeno steps closer, his hands reaching for hers. he’s shaking slightly, the weight of their impending separation clearly taking its toll. “then don’t say goodbye. stay here. with me. we’ll figure it out, y/n. i can’t imagine a future without you.”

y/n pulls her hands away, her emotions swirling like a storm inside her. she wants to believe him, wants to believe that maybe—just maybe—they can make it work. but she knows the reality is far more complicated. she’s heading to the usa for her career, and he’s going to korea for his. no matter how much they love each other, the distance would be insurmountable.

“i can’t, jeno,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. “we both have our futures ahead of us. and i don’t want to hold you back from yours. i don’t want you to look back and regret staying for me when you should have been chasing your dreams.”

jeno's eyes fill with pain as he steps even closer, the space between them disappearing. he reaches out, gently cupping her face, his thumb brushing away a tear she hadn’t even realized had fallen.

“please don’t say that,” he whispers. “i don’t want to let you go. i don’t care about anything else but you. i just want to be with you.”

y/n closes her eyes, a tear slipping down her cheek. “jeno… i can’t stay. but i want you to know… i will always love you. you’ve been my rock through all of this, and i don’t think i’ll ever stop caring for you. but i have to go, and you have to go, too.”

for a long moment, they just stand there, the weight of their conversation hanging heavy in the air. finally, jeno speaks again, his voice soft, almost like a plea. “can i just hold you for a little while? just… let me hold you, y/n. i just need to be close to you.”

y/n nods silently, too emotionally drained to say anything more. she allows him to pull her into his arms, her head resting on his chest. the world outside seems to fade away, leaving only the sound of jeno’s heartbeat in the quiet room.

as they stand there, holding each other, y/n can feel the warmth of his embrace wrapping around her, the comfort of being with him one last time. she closes her eyes, allowing herself to forget everything—her pain, the distance, the uncertainty of the future. for a brief, perfect moment, there is only the two of them.

and in that moment, she feels herself slipping into sleep, her body relaxing against his. the last thing she feels before she drifts off is jeno gently pressing a kiss to the top of her head, his arms wrapped securely around her.

“i love you,” he whispers, the words a soft promise in the quiet darkness.

y/n’s breathing slows, and though she can’t respond in that moment, she knows she’s leaving a piece of her heart with him.

for now, it’s enough to be with him like this. to have one last moment of peace before the future takes them in different directions.

as she falls asleep in his arms, y/n knows that no matter what happens, she will always carry the love they shared—deep within her heart, a love that was pure, even if it was only meant for a chapter of her life.

taglist . . open @chenlezip @polarisjisung @mrkified @narcisstict @injvns

60 notes · View notes

stellewriites · 4 months ago

Text

PART ONE

summary: by chance you and your emotionally unavailable husband meet a friendly couple that invite you stay at their farmhouse in scotland. however the time spent there with johnny & kyle has you questioning if there's a dark side to them you didn't see before.

a speak no evil au - masterlist

notes: manipulative johnny & kyle, piv, noncon, somno, never explicitly acknowledged abusive relationship between reader and her husband (financial, physical, emotional, coercive control), drinking, murder, it's dead dove horror people!! heed the warnings

you picked at the buttery croissant on the plate in front of you, trying your best to block out the sound of your husband’s voice as it grew more frustrated by the minute. you pitied the poor soul he was berating on the other end of the line, but you couldn’t bring yourself to feel bad enough to try and stop him, to turn his ire against you instead.

he wouldn’t listen to you anyway, hadn’t the first few times you’d asked when you’d first arrived on your honeymoon.

you scoffed quietly and shoved a bite into your mouth, chewing obstinately. two years late, but sure. your honeymoon.

elliot sighed heavily, and threw his phone down onto the table, rattling your coffee and gaining the attention of nearby hotel staff. “i work with fucking idiots, christ. how hard is it to follow instructions?”

“it’s why they keep you around, smartest one on your team,” you said appeasingly, the same rote answer you always gave him when he got in his moods.

“smartest one at the whole fucking firm more like,” he scoffed. you cringed at the scornful looks sent your way from the other couples on the retreat. “useless. the lot of them.”

the french riviera had been a dream destination for you for years, one elliot had known about from early in your dating days. the holiday he’d booked was all inclusive; tailored to honeymooners specifically with romantic activities on and off site and transport easily accessible in order to explore the area.

you felt as though you should’ve been having the time of your life as you sat eating breakfast looking over the beautiful beach view, but you’d never felt emptier. the sight of happy couples around you day after day had only highlighted your husband’s distance.

elliot had promised this trip would change things for you both, for your relationship, but the last six days had proven the opposite. if he wasn’t busy and distracted on his phone, elliot was complaining about the quality of the food, the amenities, even the bloody people.

it was too much and just the morning before you’d been tempted to ask him to cut the fortnight away short when he’d gotten an urgent email and then a frantic call from his boss.

you’d sighed in relief when he’d left you to wander the local area by yourself for the day; happy to escape his negativity for an hour even as you felt guilty for thinking so. you knew he worked hard, you knew his job was important, and his work meant you could afford your luxury apartment in London and be able to take trips like this one without stressing over the cost.

you’d taken the time to go to the market you’d read about on the plane, the place des lices, and tried every free sample of cheese that had been waved your way once you’d gotten there. but you hadn’t been the only one from your hotel to take advantage of the famous food stalls as you recognised the deep scottish brogue of one half of the couple that were staying in the room next to yours; it rose even above the busy hum of french chatter easily.

you’d turned your head and smiled when you caught his pretty husband’s eyes before turning back to the stall merchant and buying a chunk of fresh camembert for elliot to try. you’d been eyeing up the fruit stall further down and were debating the brie too if you spotted some good cranberry jam.

“you’re from the hotel, right?” you suddenly heard from your left. you turned to find the couple a lot closer than before, apparently taking your polite smile as invitation to join you. “i’ve seen you at the pool before. I’m kyle, this is my husband, johnny.”

“nice t’meet ye.”

you’d introduced yourself and shook their hands once your cheese was carefully packed into your tote bag.

“where’s yer chatty husband?” johnny asked, eyes scanning the crowd.

you flushed, a creeping sense of embarrassment rising as you thought of elliot back at the hotel shooing you off before you’d even sat for breakfast.

“oh he had some emergency at work he had to deal with,” you excused. “didn’t need me hanging around distracting him, so i went for a walk.”

“you’re on your own?” kyle asked with a concerned frown.

“yeah, but i don’t mind. i travelled alone a lot before we were together. i’m used to my own company,” you said with a soft laugh.

the pair swapped a silent look before focusing back on you. “well, we’d be happy to have ye if you’re feeling lonely, bonnie,” johnny offered. “we were thinkin’ of goin’ wine tasting after this now that we’ve got our snacks, if you’d like to join.”

you chuckled as johnny raised their bag and wiggled his eyebrows.

“i wouldn’t want to intrude.” you shook your head.

“it beats heading back to the hotel,” kyle cajoled. “unless you had other plans?”

you pursed your lips before letting a small, shy smile grow. “ok. wine tasting sounds fun.”

you had spent the afternoon laughing and eating the cheese, bread and fruits you’d bought at the market over glasses of wine with johnny and kyle, a wide smile never leaving your lips even as the three of you stumbled back up the steps to the hotel.

your phone had stayed silent the entire day and it wasn’t until you were waving goodbye to your new friends and opening the door to your hotel room that you wondered if elliot would be annoyed at you for staying out so long without contacting him.

you smiled a little shakily as you caught him leaving the bathroom with a towel slung around his hips. “good day?”

“fixed their mess if that’s what you mean,” elliot huffed, but he turned to you with a satisfied smile and nodded. he dipped his head down and kissed you sweetly. “what about you? good day?”

“mhm,” you hummed, your smile settling more firmly on your face at his easy mood. “i went wine tasting.”

“oh?” elliot grinned, looking at you a little closer and taking in the signs of your slight inebriation, the way you swayed slightly on your feet and the almost sleepy glaze over your eyes.

“met a few new friends,” you said. “johnny and kyle.”

elliot stiffened for a moment before smiling again, less genuine and with a sharper edge this time. “oh? that’s nice. i’ll be free to spend the day doing whatever you’d like tomorrow, darling. no need for friends on our honeymoon.”

“you will?” you asked as you started to undress, surprised he wasn’t asking for an extra day to check everything with work had settled. you didn’t look the gift horse in the mouth however. “there’s a great market i saw today we could go to. i wouldn’t mind going twice, the cheese is amazing—“

“sure, sure. fine. let’s just sleep now, yeah? i’m exhausted after today,” elliot interrupted as he dried himself off before climbing into bed.

“of course, yeah. we can figure it out over breakfast.”

which brought you back to now, with your croissant and your husband and your beach view and the ever growing pit of disappointment.

you skimmed your eyes over the other couples sat on the veranda with you and felt jealousy bubble and spit in your stomach. it was the small things you longed for, the easy affection you craved; legs hooked together under the table, feeding each other, shy smiles shared behind mugs, little jokes whispered on the breeze.

you felt tears prickle at your eyes unexpectedly and wiped at them hastily before elliot could notice.

“bonnie?” your head whipped up at the familiar voice and you smiled automatically at johnny and kyle as they made their way over. johnny was in a pair of shorts, and you saw a knee brace peek out from the hem.

“mind if we join you?” kyle asked, already pulling out a chair at your eager nod, ignoring the deep frown on elliot’s face.

“and you are?” elliot asked rudely, looking between the two men.

“this is johnny and kyle, the couple i told you about last night.” you laid a gentle hand on elliot’s forearm.

“oh, the wine tasters. right.”

“heard you were busy saving yer boss’ arse yesterday,” johnny said with a pinched smile. “yer bonnie wife didnae mention what ye did though?”

“i work for a powerful man looking after his money,” elliot explained vaguely, with an air of condescension.

you noticed kyle wave over a waitress and quietly order for both him and johnny, his palm settled firmly on johnny’s thigh beneath the table.

“oh aye? tha’s a lotta responsibility then. no wonder yer always looking so stressed on yer phone,” johnny laughed.

“oi, be nice, john,” kyle scolded, but the smile teasing the corner of his lips took away any bite the reprimand held.

“sorry, uh, emmet, was it?”

“elliot,” you corrected quickly.

johnny snapped his fingers and nodded. “right, right. sorry, my memory’s not what it used to be.” he waved at a rough scar at the side of his head.

“so how long have you two been together?” kyle asked as their drinks arrived. you saw elliot sniff at the vast amount of sugar kyle poured into his tea.

“five years,” you answered at the same time elliot answered, four years. you turned to him with a frown. “we’ve been married for two. we met before your promotion, remember?”

“are you sure, darling?” elliot asked.

“yes, elliot. i’m sure.”

kyle and johnny watched silently, eyebrows raised until you turned back to your croissant with a tense jaw.

“time flies ‘n all that,” johnny said, hoping to ease your tension.

“right.” you nodded. “what about you guys? been together long?”

“been stuck with him for a decade now,” kyle huffed, patting his hand on johnny’s leg.

“been blessed by me, more like, cheeky sod,” johnny muttered.

you laughed as kyle leant in to kiss his cheek obnoxiously. “met in the forces, just clicked.”

“been together ever since i caught him starin’ in the showers,” johnny boasted with a grin.

elliot shifted uncomfortably in his chair and johnny’s grin dropped minisculely and his eyes hardened.

“what’re yer plans today then, bonnie?”

“oh, uhm, we’re not quite sure yet,” you said looking to elliot. “maybe the market since elliot missed it yesterday?”

“you should join us on our cruise along the coast,” kyle said. “just us and the captain, and a fair bit of booze; views are meant to be unmissable.”

“sounds better than a market,” elliot chuffed before shrugging. “sure, why not?”

“really?” you were more than surprised elliot was willingly agreeing to spend more time with kyle and johnny given how on edge he’d been just sat with them the last ten minutes.

“what d’ye say, bon?” johnny leant over the small table with a smile, taking up enough space for you to feel surprisingly cornered.

“pretty hard to say no to ‘unmissable’,” you said and forced a laugh.

“great,” kyle said and johnny slumped back into his seat, throwing an arm around the back of kyle chair. “we’ve got an hour before we’re meant to be there so eat up, love.”

elliot bristled at their familiarity with you and wrapped his own arm around the back of your chair, his hand curling around your shoulder and squeezing just a tad too tight. “she’s already eaten.”

“what, that little pastry?” johnny laughed. “you’ll need yer energy for what we’ve got planned, hen.” johnny winked.

you felt yourself flush involuntarily, your heart thumped and your eyes widened at the accidental insinuation and you knew elliot had heard it the same way going by the agitated tap of his leg beneath the table.

“i’ll probably just have another coffee,” you said placating, and smiled thinly when elliot kissed your temple. “i can grab something for on the boat or afterwards maybe.”

“that’s my girl,” elliot spoke into your hair.

---

while kyle and johnny finished up their breakfast, you nipped back into your room to change into your swimwear underneath your dress and met them along with elliot at the steps leading down to the beach.

once you’d left the dock and were deep enough in the water that it became a mesmerising dark blue, it didn’t take much convincing to have you jump in the water with johnny as the boat idled in place. elliot had waved you off with a dismissive glance at his phone when you asked if he’d join and kyle had promised to have the towels ready when you’d both ran out of energy.

“not joining them?” elliot asked, sparing a quick glance at kyle as he sat down next to your husband.

“figured i’d keep you company ‘til johnny climbs back on board. we’re temporary neighbours after all, yeah?” kyle said. he looked over the side of the boat and shook his head at his husband splashing you despite your giggly squeals of outrage. “married for two years?” he asked out of the blue and waited for elliot to hum his agreement. “what you doing on a honeymoon trip then, if you don’t mind me asking?”

elliot sighed frustratedly as he locked his phone and put it down beside him, knowing he was going to get nothing done with kyle yammering by his side. “we’re busy people, only just found the time together to go.”

kyle raised his eyebrows in shock. “busy indeed.” he looked to elliot’s phone. “got any photos of the wedding?”

elliot nodded once, and not enthusiastically enough for kyle’s liking, as he pulled up the photo folder you’d made on his phone titled ‘happily ever after 🩷’ before handing it to kyle to flip through.

the younger man whistled lowly, eyes glued to the screen as he pinched and moved the photos to zoom in. elliot noticed how he paused on the photos of you, but flicked through the others quickly, not bothering to stop quick enough to take in your bridesmaids’ dresses or the expensive tiered cake or elliot’s flash suit.

he snatched his phone back when kyle licked his lips at a photo of you dancing with your friends.

“lovely gown,” kyle said with a smirk as he watched elliot seethe. “you really got lucky, eh? punching up like that.”

elliot’s eyes squinted in a glare. “excuse me?”

“come on, mate. you can be honest, it’s why you worry about the job, right? you want to keep that going for you so she doesn’t leave you in the dust,” kyle continued to goad him.

“it’s not me that needs to worry about being left behind,” elliot spat. he rubbed his hand over his mouth and jaw to hide his burgeoning smug look, but kyle saw it in his eyes, the self-satisfaction. “i’ve got options. plenty at that.”

kyle stared at him with a blank face. “oh yeah?”

elliot laughed meanly and dropped his hand. “oh yeah.” he tapped his phone against his palm for a moment, seemingly debating something before freezing as he heard you and johnny climb the short ladder back up to the deck, laughing all the while.

“done in already?” kyle asked, his mood already lighter.

“johnny’s knee is aching, thought he could rest it and we’d get a quick drink,” you answered with a wide smile, reaching for one of the beers stored in the boats built-in cooler and handing one to johnny.

“bonnie was jus’ telling me how she used to live in a much smaller area when she was younger,” johnny said as you both sat down opposite to your partners. “but you live in london now?”

“what is it with you two? always asking bloody questions,” elliot complained, hiding his unease behind a laugh.

“just making conversation, mate,” kyle said tersely.

you felt the air grow awkward and jumped in before your husband could make it worse.

“we moved to london for elliot’s work,” you said.

“and you like it?” kyle’s inquisitive, dark eyes had you willing to be more truthful than you would usually be, especially with near strangers.

“i have to admit… i’d always thought we’d be somewhere further from the city; its what i’d always wanted and elliot said he’d liked the idea of somewhere quieter. we met in my home town after all.” you caught elliot’s scornful eye and ducked your head. “but it just didn’t go that way in the end. and london is lovely, the apartment is— lovely.”

“you ever been to scotland?” johnny asked. “the countryside is like nothin’ you’ve ever seen up there.”

kyle nodded. “we’ve lived on the edge of falkland for a few years now; feels like the middle of nowhere sometimes. doesn’t get much better, i haven’t missed the city for years.”

“one of the best decisions we ever made,” johnny agreed, leaning over to kiss gaz softly.

you sighed wistfully.

“don’t think the hills would agree with my dear wife, but maybe we’ll take a trip up there some time,” elliot said unconvincingly. you swallowed thickly at his thinly veiled dig.

“when you’re not so busy, yeah?” kyle said staring your husband down.

elliot’s lips thinned. “yeah.”

“so how’re you finding france so far?” johnny asked. “enjoying yer stay?”

elliot sniffed. “could be better. from how this one went on about the place i was expecting a hell of a lot more,” he said snidely, gesturing to you flippantly. “i’d have picked bali personally.”

your shoulders hunched even as you felt indignation and anger burn the back of your throat. it wasn’t your fault elliot wasn’t taking advantage of the holiday, the lush area and the activities that promised to be unforgettable if given the chance. you knew you’d remember going in the sea with johnny for years to come, but you doubted you’d remember the boring dinners you’d been having with elliot in a month’s time, or at least not so fondly.

“think i’d have put the trip off for longer if i knew what this place was going to be like,” elliot laughed. “in fact—“

“why don’t you shut the fuck up fer once and let yer pretty wife speak, eh?” johnny cut him off with a sarcastic smile.

elliot was shocked into silence and you found yourself stuttering as kyle and johnny focused on you.

“what do you do when you’re not on a late honeymoon, love?” kyle asked.

“uhm, i don’t actually work currently,” you admitted sheepishly, your eyes darted to your husband as he grew redder in the face. “elliot makes enough to cover us financially and finding something in london was harder than expected after i had to suddenly quit my previous job when we moved.”

kyle and johnny cooed sympathetically.

“i’ve picked up painting recently though, which has been different. not necessarily any good at it, but i like it,” you said.

“an artist? yer after my heart, hen. i sketch a little myself,” johnny said. “now ye’ll have to come visit us just so you can paint the views.”

kyle was quick to pull out his phone to share some photos. he stopped on one of johnny on the top of a steep, grassy hill; his arms thrown up the air, backpack on the ground next to him and a wide grin stretched across his face, his mohawk a little longer than it was now and a mess in the wind.

“wow, it’s gorgeous there,” you gushed, trying not to focus on johnny’s strong stance highlighted by the rising sun behind him.

“that’s the view just behind our house,” kyle grinned. “forty minute hike to get there, at most.”

you gawped. “no way.”

johnny nodded.

“think you’re maybe overestimating her painting skills there, boys,” elliot snickered as he looked at the photo. “if you saw what she’s done so far you’d realise it’s definitely just a new hobby.”

“show us,” kyle suggested kindly, not bothering to look at elliot.

you hesitated before reaching for your bag and pulling out your phone. you handed it over with a shy smile.

“oi, these are good, bonnie,” johnny said immediately, stood looking over kyle’s shoulder. his brow was pulled into a frown as he concentrated.

“i’d buy ‘em,” kyle added, looking up at you to smile.

“ha! right, yeah,” you laughed, thinking he was teasing. you put down your beer and took your phone back, dropping it into your bag. you leant in to kiss elliot’s cheek and stood. “who’s going to join me in the water? elliot?”

“i don’t think so, darling. maybe another time,” he said.

“i will.” kyle stood. “did johnny show you how to dive off the front?”

your eyes widened in excitement as you shook your head and followed him, waving at the captain sat at the helm of the small boat as you passed.

johnny watched the pair of you go before turning to glare at elliot silently, not breaking eye contact even as your husband frowned and shifted uneasily, eventually looking down at his phone to avoid johnny’s unwavering, cold gaze.

---

“i don’t like them,” elliot said once you were back in your hotel that evening.

“who? johnny and kyle?”

“who else?” elliot scoffed. “they’re too familiar with you, they— they fawn over you. flirt relentlessly, in front of me—“

“oh come on,” you laughed, unable to stop yourself even as elliot grew angrier at your casual dismissal. “they’re married, don’t be bloody daft.”

“don’t call me stupid.” elliot warned.

“i’m not, i just—“

“whether they’re actually interested in you or not isn’t the point,” elliot seethed. “they’re doing it to wind me up. to get away with humiliating me and you encourage them.”

“i— what? we were just having fun,” you said.

“oh i know, i saw how you clung to them in the water when you thought i wasn’t looking. fucking slut.”

you gaped at elliot, taken aback by his harsh words and sharp tone. you took in a deep breath and tried to level your own voice.

“they’re just friendly.” you bit your cheek. “if anything, you’re just jealous i’m getting more attention than you for once.”

“what was that?” elliot whipped around to face you and you felt your blood run cold even before he took a step towards you. he gripped you roughly by the back of your neck and tugged you forward so his lips rested at your temple and you followed limply, keeping your hands by your sides. “you better not play up tomorrow, darling. whatever they offer, we’re busy. this our honeymoon, not a fucking jolly for you to try and meet other men.”

you seethed in his hold, furious at his accusations and the irony of his ill-placed jealousy. but all the same you nodded gently. “ok, elliot.”

“good.” he kissed your round cheek with a loud, sarcastic smack before turning towards the bathroom. he shed his clothes as he walked, leaving them in a trail you knew he expected you to pick up and closed the door behind him, leaving you stood motionless in the centre of the hotel room.

---

you dodged johnny’s bright grin and kyle’s sweet invites to hang out over the last week of your holiday with a pained grimace.

after the first few mornings of suddenly stilted conversation over breakfast, they stopped joining you and elliot and you were happy they were able to continue enjoying their honeymoon even if you weren’t.

elliot didn’t say in so many words, but he didn’t trust you not to gallivant off if left alone like before, so you were stuck waiting in the admittedly lavish hotel room on the days elliot got pulled back into work over the phone and on his laptop. too important to leave until later, he’d said. but he’d promised each time to take you out for a dinner that had continued to be forgotten about.

with only a few days left you were stuck waiting by the road, the little moped you’d rented for the day parked and so far unused while elliot nipped back up to the hotel to grab his sunglasses. it’d been twenty minutes already and part of you wondered if he’d gotten lost. you wished he’d left the keys with you instead of pocketing them so you could keep yourself entertained with a quick ride around the block, get used to the feel of the bike before joining onto the main road.

a squeaky horn, two beeps in quick succession, had you flinching from your moody thoughts and looking up as kyle and johnny pulled to a stop in front of you.

“long time no see, love,” kyle said. he nodded down at the bike with a grin. “where you off to?”

“and can we join?” johnny asked with a waggle of his eyebrows.

you snorted. “nowhere. not until elliot comes back at least.” you shrugged. “he’s got the keys,” you explained.

“how about we take you for a quick ride then,” johnny offered and kyle immediately started getting off from behind him.

“no, no i couldn’t. thank you. elliot will be back any second, im sure,” you said quickly, worried elliot would grow mad if he saw you sat behind johnny on the bike.

“ok, love,” kyle placated. “how about we swap numbers then, in case we don’t get to see you before your trip is up? i want to see more of your paintings.”

“we’re off home in about two days or so, figured yours would be about the same,” johnny said.

“what about email?” you suggested instead. your couples therapist had suggested regularly reading each others texts to try and gain back trust between the pair of you. the irony that it was now you trying to hide a conversation in your phone wasn’t lost on you, but you knew elliot wouldn’t want you talking to them after this trip. “i can get pretty chatty in a text, so email might be better,” you lied flimsily.

“sure,” johnny nodded along, clearly not believing you. “whatever you’d like.”

“you can have john’s email,” kyle said with a smirk, the expression growing when the scot sighed and swatted at kyle’s thigh behind him.

you watched them with confused amusement until johnny read out his email.

[email protected]

“wow. that’s very myspace of you,” you laughed even as johnny rolled his eyes.

“soap’s an old nickname, you’ll probably hear me call him gaz sometimes too. old habits,” johnny explained.

“from the military?” you confirmed and they nodded.

“i say it when i want him to listen. gets him standing to attention when i call him soap,” kyle said teased.

“anything you do gets me standing to attention, handsome,” johnny said, sultry and playful.

“oh piss off,” kyle laughed as he pushed johnny’s face away, pretending to groan in disgust when johnny caught his wrist and messily kissed his palm. you felt your stomach clench at the brief sight of his tongue poking between kyle’s fingers, lapping at the webbing before he let him go.

his tongue there and gone again in a second. you’d almost think you’d imagined it if you didn’t see the spit glisten in the sun before kyle wiped it on his shorts.

you blinked to clear your head and turned away even as the thought of johnny’s mouth around kyle’s fingers replayed over and over in your head.

turning away meant you caught sight of elliot making his way back. it had your thoughts sobering and you looked back to the couple with an apologetic smile. “i’ll see you guys later hopefully, but if not i hope you enjoy the rest of your honeymoon guys.”

“ye trying to get rid o’ us?” johnny pouted, mischief clear in his eyes.

“no, but I know elliot will want to set off straight away so—“

“we know when we’re not wanted, love,” kyle sighed, winking at you to soften the words and let you know they weren’t offended, just pulling your pigtails. “take a hint, johnny, let’s go check out the beach.”

“aye aye, sir,” johnny saluted lazily before revving the moped back to life and waving at you over his shoulder.

“ready to go?” you jumped slightly at elliot’s voice behind you, you hadn’t realised he was so close already and when you turned around you could see he was tense.

“ready when you are,” you said and moved out of the way of the bike.

elliot didn’t mention johnny or kyle and you were thankful; the day had barely begun, you didn’t need an argument to ruin it already.

you swung your leg over the bike behind him and cuddled close, smiling when elliot rubbed a warm palm over your bare knee next to his thigh. today could be good if you just let it, you reminded yourself as elliot set off clumsily.

you lifted your head from his back once he’d managed to get the hang of controlling the moped a little better, becoming confident on the roads after a few minutes, but you wished you hadn’t.

his collar was rustling in the wind and had slipped loose around his shoulder, revealing a smudged lipstick mark previously hidden by his button up overshirt. you felt your breath hitch, unable to look away even as your eyes started to burn.

your gut clenched and rolled unpleasantly, like you could throw up any moment but your jaw was firmly clenched closed. your hands shook where they were holding elliot at the waist and you finally clenched your eyes closed.

with trembling lips, you held back a sob.

today could be good if you let it, you repeated. so let it.

---

you didn’t see kyle or johnny before you left and you didn’t mention what you saw to elliot either.

instead you went back to london, to the dreary rain and the empty flat and the weekly couples’ appointments.

you lied when your therapist asked how your honeymoon went. you grinned and turned to elliot with wide sparkling eyes and reach for his hand to hold between yours as you simpered, “simply perfect.”

but it wasn’t and elliot new it.

the breaking point was when johnny sent your throw-away email account a message one afternoon with a photo attached at the bottom. you grinned when it loaded on your laptop and you zoomed in to see your smiling face, then kyle’s, then johnnys.

it had been taken on the boat on your way back to the dock after a long day swimming and drinking and laughing. elliot had kept to himself for most of the trip unless spoken to, but after an hour you’d managed to ignore him well enough. it wasn’t until kyle pulled him up on your way back, slapped his phone into elliot’s hand and asked him to take a photo of the three of you with the water and island in the background that you remembered he was there.

“elliot, be a good lad and take the photo for us won’t ya?”

“why not ask the captain—“

“he’s done enough dealing with us fer the day, aye? oh— wait, did ye want tae be in it with us?”

“no. thank you.”

they’d thrown their arms around you, pushing and pulling you to their liking until you were stood by the edge of the boat, and smiled. your shoulders were sensitive where johnny’s arm laid over the top - sunburnt you thought at the time - and your hair was still wet from your last dip, but your smile was wide and glowing even as elliot had gritted his teeth.

despite his grumbles he’d done as asked and you’d been dying to see the photo ever since when johnny cooed, “aw, lovely photo to remember ya by.”

now you felt your cheeks heat as you saw how your swim shorts had rucked up high on your thighs, damp and clinging, showing off more skin than you’d realised. your swimsuit at least covered your stomach and cleavage well enough, though johnny’s hand on your shoulder held one of the thick strings of your suit where it had tied at the back of your neck. he was in the middle of playing with it, tugging it so it was taut but not enough to loosen the bow. you don’t remember feeling him pull at the string holding your suit up over your breasts, though you were distracted by the tight hold gaz had on your waist, the handful he’d grabbed as he knocked your hips together.

god no wonder elliot had gotten mad that evening. if you hadn’t known the two were married, you’d have assumed they were trying to get between your legs by this photo alone.

you read the message johnny had sent along with it.

missin you and yer sweet laugh, bonnie!

forgot to send the photo earlier, i think the three of us look well fit, we’ll have to go swimming gain sometime. gaz suggested leucate plage if yer still in love wih france, but im sure there’s a few different au naturel beaches we could try ;)

you sputtered a laugh at that, scoffing at the idea of going to a nude beach especially with those two. bloody hell, elliot would have a fit, you thought gleefully.

but for now we thought you could come visit us like we’d said before? the countryside could be good for you and the ol’ ball n chain. we’d be happy t have ye both for the week, we’ve got the room. just let us know, yeah?

yer handsome pal,

johnny

you shook your head at his theatrics. emailing johnny felt like having a slightly unhinged penpal and reading his emails never failed to brighten up your day, you could hear him in the way he typed. you also loved when you assumed gaz would steal the phone to use his account to talk to you, the lack of scots and shorthand was always a dead giveaway between the two.

you bit your lip and found some of the photos he’d sent previously of their home and garden. it was gorgeous simply put and although the anxiety of admitting to elliot that you’d kept in contact with them had your palms sweating, the deep urge to go visit them ultimately won out.

you bit the bullet over dinner that same night. steak, specially made to soften elliot’s mood.

not that it helped much.

“what?” he dropped his cutlery and pushed back from his seat, needing distance from you as he processed you’d been lying to him. “why would you do that?”

you didn’t have an answer. or not one that elliot would like, so you felt yourself begin to shrug before you thought back to your last session.

“our therapist said it could be good for the relationship if i made some friends separate to yours,” you said.

“she also said you needed to focus trying more with my friends,” elliot reminded.

“but your friends aren’t offering to stay with us for a week in the highlands, elliot. if they were then i’d be all for it!”

“so if i tell my friends that we’ll spend christmas at the ski lodge with them this year, you won’t whine about wanting to be at home together, this time,” he challenged.

you swallowed. he knew you hated skiing and his bitchy judgmental rich friends. it wasn’t even as though it was his easy going friends that liked to go, it was the worst of the bunch that purposely left you out or talked down to you, made it impossible to try without embarrassing yourself.

but fine. you could deal with that this year if it meant your friendship with kyle and johnny was allowed to grow.

“sure,” you said with an obviously fake casual shrug. “so we can go?”

elliot huffed. you sprung out your next argument.

“our therapist also said it was important to let me take the lead a few times. in order to let me regai—“

“regain some power in the relationship, yeah, i know. i was there.” elliot nodded. he seemed to think it over. “this will help you trust me again?”

you reached across the table and held his hand, smiling at him hopefully when he looked back at you. you tried not to think of the lipstick stain in france, tried not to let the hurt cloud you eyes. “yes.” you stood and walked to stand by his chair, chest warming when he wrapped an arm around your waist. “the honeymoon felt forced,” you admitted, making sure to keep eye contact even as he stiffened. “we both felt it, you can admit it, i’m not mad. but this would be new and an adventure. like old times, elliot.”

he nodded a little less resignedly. “sure, old times. ok.”

you smiled, dipped down to kiss him deeply, rubbing his clean shaven cheek with your thumb.

“thank you. this will be fun, i promise. we’ll get to relax and just spend some time together, yeah? no pressure of what we should be doing as a couple or at work or— or—“

elliot softened as he looked at you stutter to find another reason. “yes, darling. it’ll be good.”

you stepped out of his grasp.

“i’ll let them know we can go, what date do you think would be best?”

---

“fucking hell, you had one job. look out for the stupid carved owl in the tree and that’s when we know to turn left,” elliot seethed as he drove, the sun growing dimmer by the minute. you’d spent the entire day driving up north using the directions, had set off that saturday morning in hopes that the traffic wouldn’t be as busy as midweek. “so where are we now? you insisted on following their directions instead of using the satnav, so where the hell does it mention this endless fucking shitty, unpaved road? eh?”

you hunched down in your seat next to him and reread the instructions from soap, hoping to find a clue as to where you were on the, admittedly adorable yet detailed, map he’d drawn. you’d found it endearing when you’d first saw it but now you were thinking it was more of a necessity.

elliot snatched your phone from your hand and split his focus between the dark road and your phone, scrolling erratically to find the directions in the email he wanted. your hand hovered between you, eager to take your phone back but hesitant to foul his mood further.

your eyes caught on movement on the road and you quickly gripped the wheel to swerve and avoid hitting a deer that had wandered out from the trees. “fuck, elliot, watch out!”

he slammed on the breaks and dropped your phone into your footwell as he automatically gripped the wheel to take over from you.

you both sat still, panting; anxiety and adrenaline pumping through your body as you tried to tell it and brain that you were fine, it could calm down, you were ok. you rubbed at your shoulder where your seatbelt had dug in.

elliot started up the car again, silent, and went slower down the road until the headlights caught on a misshapen tree. you squinted before pointing it out. “here, look. i think that’s the owl, go left.”

it only took a few minutes before you could see the lights from kyle and johnny’s farmhouse. the shape of their barn and surrounding smaller outbuildings stark against the natural curves of the hills and trees they were settled amongst.

“we’re here,” you said excitedly. “they said to pull around the side of the barn to the garage they have at the side. their house should be riiight there.” you grinned as you parked directly in front of it on the gravel next to their truck.

“great,” elliot said sarcastically. you didn’t mention his tone knowing that having to drive all day, several hours longer than you’d both expected, would have rankled anyone’s mood.

you climbed out without a word and got your bags out of the back of the car. when you rounded back to the front you found johnny and kyle walking to meet you already, their front door left open behind them.

“bonnie! ye made it,” johnny said as he jogged over to you excitedly. you let go of your suitcase as he pulled you into a hug as soon as you were close enough, scuffing his stubble against your neck in his excitement.

“down, boy,” kyle laughed, nudging johnny out of the way to give you his own hug. once he pulled back he nodded to elliot and smirked. “thought you’d maybe gotten lost, we were ready to start a search party.”

elliot bristled but johnny spoke up before he could defend himself.

“aye, but tea is still warm and ready to be served, an’ ahm fucking starving so let’s get inside yeah?” johnny slapped elliot’s shoulder before leading you all to the house. “done a big roasty fer the pair a’ye, so i hope yer hungry.”

the heat encompassed you as soon as you stepped inside, led through to the kitchen-stroke-dining room. the food smelled divine and the warmth accumulated from the oven and the fireplace had your shoulders relaxing instantly.

the house was far from modern with its mismatched old wooden chairs around the handmade table and the well-loved couch you could spot through in the next room, nothing like your lifeless flat in london. but the farmhouse was still stylish in its own way, in the colour of the cabinets, the throw on couch, the wallpaper leading up the stairs. though more importantly, it was homely. lived in.

“i can imagine the drive wasnae easy for first timers, so sit yerselves down and i’ll plate the food, gaz’ll get the wine,” johnny said.

you pulled out the chair next to elliot, leaving the two opposite you empty.

johnny clapped his hands as if to say voilà when he put down your heaped plates a minute later.

“this looks amazing, johnny, you cooked this?” you asked, eyes round and barely stopping yourself from digging in to be polite.

“have a great sous chef,” he said and patted kyle’s arse when he passed by with the wine. kyle smirked.

“how did you find the drive up, seriously?” kyle asked as he poured your drinks. he took a seat with johnny and gestured for you to start eating; now with permission, you didn’t hesitate.

“it was fine. might’ve been easier if we were given an address instead, satnav might’ve made it quicker,” elliot said as he pushed around some of the steamed vegetables on his plate.

“the views made taking our time worth it though, the valleys we passed were gorgeous,” you gushed. “i didn’t realise there were so many small lakes too.”

elliot sniffed irritably, but you didn’t notice. in fact you’d barely noticed how he played with his food more than ate it as you were too busy chatting and eating. you were going crazy for the hearty roast dinner, you could see in the colour and in the bursting taste of the veg just how fresh it all was; nothing like the store bought stuff you usually got at home.

you hadn’t had anything home cooked in so long that you hadn’t made yourself, and when you told kyle and johnny so they both reared back as though slapped.

“oh love, you’re missing out, that’s not right. don’t worry we’ll take care of you while you’re here,” kyle promised.

elliot cleared his throat. “got any salt?”

johnny’s eyes flickered tersely from elliot to the roast beef he was poking on his plate and back up again. “sure. let me just grab it for ye.”

“cheers,” elliot smiled thinly.

“top up?” kyle asked and gestured to your wine glass. you nodded before turning to elliot, but he wasn’t looking your way so you held your glass out.

“thanks. god, after this and the long drive i think i’ll be ready for bed; sorry excuse for company on the first night,” you apologised.

“we’re just happy to have you here,” kyle assured you as johnny sat back down. your husband doused his food in salt before making a better dent in it, downing his wine quickly afterwards with a wince.

“yeah, i think it’ll be an early one for us tonight, won’t it, darling?” elliot said and started to stand, rudely pushing his unfinished plate away. “in fact, i think i’m pretty tired now.”

you looked down at the last few bites of your meal and the full glass of wine forlornly but stood alongside elliot.

“it really was a fantastic meal, thank you so much, johnny,” you said.

“anytime for you, hen,” he said. “here, let us show you to your room.”

“i’ll grab the dishes while you take them up, johnny. you cooked so i’ll clean,” kyle said, hooking a finger in johnny’s jeans to catch his attention when he stood up. you felt a sharp pang at their easy domesticity. sure they’d said they’d known each other, been together, for a decade, but it still ached that you and elliot where struggling so obviously in comparison despite your sixth anniversary nearing on the horizon.

you gave kyle a fragile smile as you followed johnny upstairs with your bags to your room for the week.

“i’ll leave you to it, see ye in the morning,” johnny said as you settled into your room.

“this is amazing,” you said with a small laugh, disbelief and joy mixing into something like hope as you started to get undressed. the view out of your bedroom looked over the front garden and you felt giddy at the idea of staying with your new friends for the next few days and exploring the area further.

“it’s… quaint,” elliot said.

you turned to him, your mouth pulled tight. “please don’t start.”

“what? it’s just… smaller than what we’re used to,” he said with a shrug, starting to laugh as he gestured at the room. “i mean look at this place, and the bed.”

“keep your voice down at least, elliot,” you hissed, eyes sharp on the closed door of your bedroom.

“darling, you know i get overheated easily, and by the looks of it we’re going to be pressed side by side all night. and i doubt they have a/c,” elliot huffed. he sat down on the bed and rolled his eyes when it squeaked. “oh, come on.”

“we could open the window,” you said stubbornly, ignoring elliot as he shifted to make the bed squeak again.

“and let in the smell of sheep shit? not your brightest idea,” he scoffed. “christ and never mind the bloody noise on top of that. good thing i brought my ear plugs or i’d never get any sleep.”

you bit your tongue when you thought of the constant traffic noises that flooded into your apartment at all times of the day and night, the light pollution that did its best to creep past your blackout curtains.

“i’m sure you’ll get used to it after the first couple of nights,” you said instead and moved to join him in bed. you reached for his hand and squeezed it, leaning in for a kiss, teasing your tongue at his lips for a split second before pulling back. “just… please be nice?”

he sighed.

“fine,” he conceded. “i was just expecting something a little nicer considering the price of the trip we met them on.”

you scowled at him and let go of his hand. “you’re being rude.”

you leant over to turn off your lamp and laid down facing away from him. neither of you noticed the shadows shift under your door, the light footsteps heading away from your room.

---

you woke up the next morning to find elliot already in the shower, you could hear the pipes from the bathroom next door and noticed his suitcase had been half unpacked.

you were grateful he’d let you sleep, you’d gone to bed frustrated and you didn’t want to carry it on this morning. it was a new day and you were eager to have fun.

you walked over to the window and pulled back the curtains. as you gazed out your eyes naturally drifted to johnny, stood near the barn you’d passed on your way in. he was small given the distance but you couldn’t help but stare as he rhythmically chopped logs into smaller, more manageable pieces.

he was sweating, the repetitive action of driving the axe up and then through the thick wood obviously tiring, and you felt water pool in your mouth as you looked on gormlessly.

the sleeves of his thick checked shirt were rolled up his forearms and part of you wished he’d decided to chop the wood in the driveway so you’d have a clearer view of his muscles at work. he wiped his face on his bicep and suddenly turned to the house, to your window.

you ducked away before he could catch you and started to get dressed out of the line of sight the windows may provide. with your face aflame and anxious butterflies rampant in your stomach, you needed to get your head on straight and decidedly not ogle your new friends.

with one last stern word to yourself you headed downstairs back to the kitchen and found gaz pottering around.

“ah morning, love. coffee?” he offered, holding out a cup. you took it gratefully with a small thank you and sat at the table again. there was a plate of toast in the middle, enough slices freshly made made for the four of you, and you reached forward for one. “i was thinking me and soap could show you a hiking trail nearby, make a day of it.”

“the one you showed me on your phone?” you asked, nodding enthusiastically regardless of his answer.

“this one’s even better,” gaz said, smiling fondly. “just might take longer.”

“coffee? thank you, darling,” elliot mumbled as he swiped your coffee from your hands without asking and distracting you from answering gaz. you’d barely had a sip before elliot was finishing the drink off in one go. “mm, bit too milky for my liking,” he told you and sucked his teeth.

“probably because it wasn’t for you,” kyle said flatly. “we’re going on a hike today, care to join or has work called you in already?”

“i’d love a hike,” elliot said brightly. johnny walked in through the front door as elliot continued to talk about the hikes he’d been on before, heading to the sink to wash his hands and leaning up to kiss kyle as he passed. “work can wait for the great outdoors. my wife here knows how much i love going on— on uh, on hikes and finding new trails and mapping them out.” elliot stumbled over his words for a second, taken back by the kiss.

johnny’s shoulders shook with a silent laugh and he turned and winked at you as he opened up a cupboard door that hid his face from your husband.

“oh, so you two go together?” kyle asked.

“no, no,” elliot laughed like the thought was ridiculous. “i go with my mates. not really her thing.”

you pursed your lips; you hated it when elliot answered for you, especially when he was wrong. which was often. instead of fussing though, you focused your ire on another slice of toast from the centre of the table.

“right.” kyle stood from his chair and went to lean next to johnny on one of the kitchen counters. “we’ll pack a bag full of snacks and drinks and then we can be off. give us fifteen minutes?”

you nodded, thankful for the excuse to leave elliot at the table, and went to grab your walking boots before coming back to wait with elliot near the door.

“quicker to get there from the back,” johnny said and led you through the rest of the downstairs out into the back garden.

it looked like it could spread for acres if not for the looming trees of the forest fencing it in.

to the left was their chicken coop and a small locked shed. if you turned around you’d see your cars parked, the garage and then the barn further up.

the chicken coop was on solid muddy ground, closer to the gravel front, whereas the shed was further up on the flat grassy area that began to rise into a small hill further back and closer to the trees; there was a small iron table sat with four chairs closer to the house and you couldn’t wait to use it, imagining sitting out there for lunch or breakfast.

to your right you took in their allotment, the large raised beds full of blooming vegetables; tall beans climbing the trellis arches from one side to another. you saw noticed the glint of a greenhouse hidden behind it all. everything was encouraged to grow to its fullest and you bet the food they’d served the night before had been grown by their very own hands.

“we’ve got strawberries if ye’d like tae pick some over the next few days,” johnny said as he walked you down to the end of the garden, catching the way your eyes were glued to the allotment.

“i’d love that, i haven’t been strawberry picking since i was little,” you said.

johnny nodded. “settled then.”

---

the hike wasn’t difficult, but living down south in a very flat city hadn’t built up your cardio for the steep hills and climbs at all.

“this is a good place to stop for lunch,” johnny said, apropos to nothing.

he squeezed your arm as he wandered off the path towards the edge of the hill. you were halfway there to the top, but already you were loving the views.

“knee bothering you, johnny?” kyle asked as he pulled out a rainproof sheet from his bag and started placing the food out in the tupperware boxes.

“something like that,” he said.

you laughed when you saw johnny pull out a bottle of wine from his.

“just tryin’ tae make use of all the wine we bought on holiday, hen,” he snickered.

you sat down and helped them spread the food out while your husband paced from the ledge to the path and then to the blanket, only to start again.

“have a seat elliot,” you said encouragingly, patting the space you’d left purposely empty next to you.

he slumped down with a huff and kyle side-eyed him.

“how was your night? sleep well?”

“hope the room wasnae too small,” johnny added, biting into a cheese cracker as he looked to your husband.

you felt your stomach drop and your face heat up. “no, not at all—“

“i think i’m just used to the finer things,” elliot said, picking up one of the packed travel cups pointedly and pouring himself some wine.

“we slept fine,” you said firmly as you frowned at elliot. “it’s perfect.”

“ah, we’re just joking around, hen, no need to fash,” johnny teased. “you pack yer paints?”

“shit.” your face dropped as you looked at him. “i completely forgot when i was packing, i was too excited.”

johnny grinned. “you can borrow mine, it’s alright.”

“if they’re not dried up that is,” kyle said with a laugh. “i’ve not seen you touch paints in years, johnny.”

“they’re water paints, gaz, they’re meant tae be dry,” johnny said with a roll of his eyes. he looked to you and covered the side of his mouth. “yer a breath o’fresh air, ye have no idea. i love him but he doesnae have the eye fer it, you know?”

“im right bloody here,” kyle said exasperatedly, making you laugh.

“fucking hell,” your husband muttered under his breath before standing. “i think i’m gonna go ahead and have a look at the trail, get a lay of the land. i’ll turn around in ten and meet you back here.”

“are you sure?” you asked at the same time johnny warned him, “don’t go off the path.”

“why not?” elliot asked, taking it as a challenge despite johnny’s grave tone.

“go straight so you don’t get lost,” johnny repeated seriously. “it’s a tricky place, these woods. one wrong turn and you’ll ne’er be found.”

elliot stayed silent for a moment, left off kilter by johnny’s intense eyes, before laughing, waving him of with a scoff. “sure thing, johnny.”

you watch your husband walk off with an uneasy feeling before kyle and johnny’s easy going nature distracted you once more.

before you knew it it’d been twenty minutes, but you were too busy talking about how they’d ended up moving out so far away from their original shared home, that you hadn’t noticed elliot wasn’t back yet.

“it’s great here, but it can feel… lonely sometimes, just the two of us,” johnny admitted as he looked to kyle. the handsome man nodded and knocked their knees together.

“i know how that feels,” you said, three cups of wine having loosened your lips.

“yeah?” kyle asked softly, tilting his head to meet your downcast eyes.

you opened and closed your mouth a few times before taking a deep breath.

“i want a baby,” you said weakly, sadly. you were quiet as though hoping not to be overheard. “elliot doesn’t think it’s the right time, but im starting to doubt it’d ever be the right time if it were up to him.”

you blink at the anger that had seeped into your last words and gasped as you realised that you’d actually finally said them out loud. not even your therapist had gotten you to admit this.

“oh god, please forget i said that,” you begged them suddenly, wide eyed and pleading. “please. don’t say anything to elliot about it. i— i think i’ve just drank a little too much,” you tried to excuse yourself.

“hey, it’s ok,” johnny said with a concerned frown.

“i didn’t mean it,” you rushed out.

kyle moved to elliot’s previous spot and pulled you in for a warm hug, calming you down.

“it’s normal to want things and to be disappointed when the person that promised you them can’t deliver,” he whispered. you sniffled and slowly wrapped your arms back around him with a nod, tears building behind yojr closed eyelids. you slumped into his hold further when johnny’s large hand rubbed soothingly across your back below kyle’s arms.

it was nice. simply being between them and being comforted by them was nice.

you leaned back and wiped at your eyes with a sniffly laugh.

“thank you, guys, i— thank you.”

gaz squeezed your shoulder for a moment before finally letting you go.

you felt fidgety, needing to do something with your hands and to keep them from staring at your red rimmed eyed, so you reached for a handful of grapes when it suddenly occurred to you that elliot wasn’t back. you looked at your watch and swore.

“elliot’s not here yet, shit what if he’s lost?”

“he won’t be,” johnny reassured you, standing alongside you and grabbing your shoulders. “he’s an experienced hiker, right? he probably lost track a’time like we did.”

“let’s get this packed away and we’ll go catch up to him,” kyle suggested. you nodded, easily calmed once given easy orders to occupy your busy mind

---

“elliot?” you called out as you walked, johnny and kyle on either side of you, looking out into the trees in case he’d gone off track. “you there? elliot?”

“stop shouting, christ, i’m here,” elliot complained further up the trail. he was slouched against a tree. “took you all long enough.”

“oh my god, what happened,” you said as you crouched next to him, looking at the sorry swollen state of his ankle.

“twisted it looks like, worst-case it could be a sprain,” kyle said from over your shoulder. “should be fine, we can get home with him leaning on our shoulders, right, soap?”

johnny tutted in disappointment as he stared down the path instead of at your injured husband.

“the waterfall was only five minutes away as well,” johnny said to no one in particular. he crouched next to elliot. “c’mon then, let’s get you back.”

your husband bristled. he looked longingly down the trail johnny had gestured to just a moment before.

“we should still go, i’ll be fine,” he insisted. “we should go to the waterfall.”

gaz raised his eyebrows incredulously as he helped elliot stand, but he stayed silent.

“you want to lean on me or johnny?” he asked.

“whoever gets us there quicker,” elliot said, face pinched.

kyle rolled his eyes and set off walking, leaving elliot to wince until he matched kyle’s stride. luckily the walk wasn’t long before the four of you cut off the trail and found yourselves stood at the bottom of the waterfall, a light mist of water splashing at your bare skin from where you stood.

“holy shit.”

johnny nudged your shoulders together with a laugh.

“impressive, right?”

“to say the least,” you huffed.

kyle had helped elliot sit down by the edge of the plunge pool with his leg stretched out as you’d taken in the view with johnny, though you soon took a seat next to elliot when you noticed he was situated as comfortable as could be. you pulled off your shoes and socks and shuffled forwards a little to dip your feet in the water, kicking lightly and grinning even with how the cold bit at your toes.

elliot stayed stern faced even as he looked at the impressive feature, but kyle and johnny took no notice.

they started to undress, throwing their clothes down haphazardly by their bags.

“you coming in?” kyle asked you cheekily.

“we go in every time we’re here, tradition now,” johnny explained once he was stood in his underwear.

“i don’t have my swimsuit,” you said hesitantly.

“jus’ go in yer kegs like us,” johnny dismissed the worry.

“it’s probably for the best she’s said no,” elliot said meanly, one eyebrow raised as he looked over your relaxed form, your stomach rolls obvious and plush under the afternoon sun and your thighs spread thick where they pressed against the edge of the natural pool. you suddenly felt the need to layer up in your baggiest clothes. “she’s happy enough sat with me. isn’t that right, darling?”

you felt embarrassment, hot and sharp, flood from your face to your toes as you stared at him. this was your husband. a man that took delight in belittling you.

“oi,” johnny warned from where he stood waist deep in the water.

you ignored them both and stood suddenly, shucking off your clothes with tight angry movements, a smile only eventually pulling at your lips when kyle wolf whistled playfully.

johnny joined in jeering and clapped as you stepped carefully closer to the edge before jumping in. once you resurfaced, you resolutely faced away from the scowl you knew would be on your husband’s face. you were past caring.

the cold of the water had you sucking in thinner breaths until you acclimatised, and you were grateful it was deep enough to brush your collarbones as you could tell your nipples were babbling from the chill.

“be careful, love, there are fish in here,” gaz said as he drifted closer to your front. his smile was bordering on mischievous but it eased your slight reservations of being in the water. “but don’t worry they don’t bite.”

you felt a sudden pinch on your buttcheek and you squealed before johnny’s laugh and warm chest at your back registered. you flushed hot and dug your elbow back into his ribs as they laughed, both barely giving you space to float alone.

they guided you closer to the waterfall with easy going smiles and it wasn’t until you felt their capable hands on your hips and tummy to keep you from being dragged under as you held your hands under the heavy pour that you looked back guiltily at your husband. you pushed off and away from them but continued to swim a little while longer until elliot kicked up a fuss, bored.

“are we done now? it’s getting dark, we should be heading back,” he spoke up when it looked like the three of you weren’t tiring any time soon. “and then there’s dinner to think of.”

“you offering to cook, elliot?” kyle said as he climbed out of the water.

elliot scoffed. “not likely. with the ankle and all,” he said patronisingly.

gaz smiled thinly. “of course.”

the three of you dried off as best you could before dressing and heading back to the farmhouse with elliot leant between johnny and kyle.

even as your clothes chafed against your damp skin, you couldn’t bring yourself to regret swimming. thought the cold was biting even through your coat, and a warm shower was calling for you back at the farmhouse.

---

once you were back you showered quickly and then ran a bath for elliot. you helped ease him in so he didn’t slip and further injure himself.

“put on a real fucking show today,” he grumbled once he was laid back. you cupped the water over his hair carefully.

“what do you mean?” you grabbed the shampoo and began lathering it.

“don’t play dumb,” he hissed. “acting like that, like a whore, with them. again.”

“i wasn’t—“

“you’re a fucking hypocrite,” he said harshly. “punishing me for one little mistake but now you get to act like this with other men?”

you let your hands hang over the edge of the tub in shock. “you cheated on me. more than once, elliot. that’s not a little mistake.”

“we’re past this,” he said tiredly with a shake of his head, rubbing his hand over his forehead to wipe away the dripping shampoo.

“then why did you bring it up?”

he turned to look at you, disgust clear on his face.

“you’re ugly when you get like this,” he said simply. “leave me to it, i’ll call you in when i need a hand getting out.”

your lip trembled as you stood and went back to your room. as you closed the door behind you, you heard elliot mutter to himself, “he’s an absolute idiot thinking this was only a twisted ankle, clearly not a doctor. the swelling has hardly gone down.”

you didn’t react, heading to the room next door with watery eyes. as you were tidying up your clothes, sniffling back angry and hurt tears, there was a knock on the doorframe. your turned to see johnny with a plate in his hand.

“thought i’d make things easier and bring his tea up fer him,” he said and put it on the bedside table. “do you want me to bring up yours too or will you be joining us?”

“oh, i’m not hungry, thank you johnny,” you said with a watery smile. the food looked delicious but elliot’s words had soured your appetite. “i think i’m just going to go to bed as soon as elliot’s alright.”

“ye sure?”

“mhm.” you nodded.

johnny nodded, said a soft, “let me know if ye change your mind.” he pulled out a pack of pain tablets from his pocket with a little wave and dropped them on the bed and then left.

you waited for elliot’s shout before you went to help him out of the bath and back through to your room. you left him to dry and dress himself and once he was sat on the bed with his food, you turned your back to him and willed yourself to fall asleep quickly.

part two

want to email johnny? click here!

#it’s here!! and posted correctly hopefully!!#face claim for elliot of oliver jackson cohen bc he’s hot but he plays an arshole really well #i’ve had a lot of fun writing this over the last month #took me forever but it turned out a hell of a lot longer than i’d anticipated too #hoping the email idea doesn’t flop and goes well!!#thank u kai for helping me with my ocs and thank you birdy for helping me pic the fic title!!#ily guys :’)#full disclosure idk if the area i chose is all that solitary Imao i've never been to scotland never mind falkland or the reservoir #i just looked at google maps lol #soapgaz x reader #soapgaz #soap x reader x gaz #johnny soap mactavish x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #kyle garrick x reader #cw noncon #tw noncon #cw abusive relationship #tw abusive relationship #let me know if more tags are wanted or needed #fat reader #johnny soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #johnny soap mactavish x reader x kyle gaz garrick #johnny mactavish x reader x kyle garrick #soap x reader #gaz x reader

414 notes · View notes