#this took so long because i was trying to limit myself to 5

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[yawnderu]

K-9 — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader | Part II

Sick as a dog, and just as vicious.

1 2 3 4 5

Simon scores a date with his favorite medic

Or

Simon has to be under her watch after getting a knife to the gut.

"Oi, doc." Simon calls out and you sigh softly, gaze drifting from your patient report to him, his unmasked figure lays on the medical bed, gauze wrapped tightly over his abdomen, keeping his newest injury guarded from anything that could rub on or mess up the stitches.

"Why'd they call you K-9?" One of his thin, eyeblack stained eyebrows lifts as he looks at you, already feeling bored from having to stay still for so long, movement limited by the patched up stab wound on his stomach.

"Long story." You dismiss him, looking back down at the patient report you were writing for him. His medical file was interesting, indicating no pictures of him should ever be taken, as well as additional personal and professional information.

"You got surgery in 2020, what's that about?" You didn't notice any bigger scars whenever he was injured, having already seen his naked torso and part of his legs.

"Curious 'bout me, doc?" His tone is slightly teasing, the smug bastard thinking he's funny by asking that. A single eye roll is enough to get him to speak, a deep, gravelly chuckle escaping his lips before he answers.

"Took a nasty gunshot to the leg, was fadin' fast." He lays back down, gaze drifting towards the ceiling as he thinks about it. He was so close to death himself, only three years ago.

"Thought it'd be more interesting." Your bluntness never fails to make him double take. It's not passive aggressive or mean, just... way too honest. More than he's used to.

"I'll get a proper grand injury just for you, lass." You roll your eyes again, taking a sip from your coffee to hide the way the corners of your lips are tugging up. It's amusing, really, to find out how much Simon has changed throughout the years. Price told you he used to be much more quiet, though after 4 years of working with the task force, he was able to open up, getting more and more used to interacting with a team rather than being a lone wolf.

"That's not necessary, I can give it to you myself if you'd like." Your gloved hand presses on the scalpel on your white coat before going back to writing his medical report, tone laced with subtle humor.

"She can joke." He taunts, trying to sit up before a sharp hiss of pain escapes his lips. You frown, the report taking way too long to finish because you keep getting interrupted.

"Hold on." You walk up to him, hands holding onto his strong back before you try to help the behemoth of a man sit up. His calloused hands hold onto your forearms, a few low, deep groans escaping his lips at the strain his flexing muscles are causing to the fresh injury.

"Fuckin' hell." He mutters and you look up, eyes focusing on his pained expression for a second too long. Simon isn't ugly, really, but when his face is all scrunched up in pain, sweat gathering in the form of clear specks all over his eyeblack stained skin? He looks almost majestic. You get your head out of the gutter, placing some soft pillows behind his back to help keep him up without much strain.

"You should be healed up soon enough, got lucky the bastard didn't stab that deep." You shrug, looking back at the tiny coffee maker in your office before you look back up at him, his brown eyes already staring back at you, pupils blown, as usual.

"Want some coffee?" He shakes his head politely, eyes closing in pain as he tries to get into a more comfortable position.

"A cuppa would be nice." You flick his forehead softly, tired eyes drifting towards the clock on the wall. 0100, yet you simply nod and grab your phone from the desk.

"Try not to die while I'm gone." The door closes behind you before he can reply, brown eyes closing as he sighs when you're gone. He doesn't even know how it all started. Simon is a man of discipline, a soldier, a Ghost, yet the way his heart quickens and his cock hardens whenever he's with you is something he can't control, as if a parasite made home in his brain and is using his body as a vessel, ridding him completely of any self-control.

You come back 10 minutes later, a tray with a cup of hot tea and food placed on his lap, the almost comforting warmth quickly spreading through his legs and body.

"Thank you." He moves the spoon around the cup of Earl Grey, letting the sugar mix in for a hot minute before he takes a sip from it, nodding his head once in approval. He was starving, really, but he tried his best to eat slowly, ignoring his hungry stomach begging him to wolf it all down. His eyes drift back to the tray, attention caught by the singular orange left there.

His hands fumble for one of the knives in his clothes, finding all of the straps were removed by you and placed too far away for his injured body to reach. He looks back up at you, admiring you in silence and truly taking you in. The way you lift your glasses every once in a while even before they can slip down the bridge of your nose, the way your hand fiddles with the pen and your lips turn into a small pout whenever you're not sure how to describe something in the report, the way you look so angelic under the dim lights of the infirmary—

"What are you lookin' at?" You don't even bother looking back at him, feeling his stare on you for the past two minutes. He has such an intense gaze that makes you feel as if he can see through your soul, yet it never intimidated you.

"Nothin', bird, nothin'. Peeled you an orange."

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[ccsainzleclerc5516]

Come Home With Me (part 2)

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x reader

Warnings: fuff, smut!

part 1

You were a mess the whole week. You broke up with Andrew after the wedding not to reconcile with Carlos but because you didn't want to give him false hopes anymore. Because you knew you couldn't love him the way he deserved.

All your pain was back, pain that never really even left. All the emotions that you suppressed and pushed under the carpet, lying to yourself that you were over it, now resurfaced.

Not even a week later, the celebration of Isabella and her new husband did not stop. Only this time it was much smaller, in a small circle of close friends in their new apartment.

You were sad and listless, but since you didn't, you couldn’t, enjoy your friend's wedding celebration, you decided to respect her and come to another party she threw.

And he was there too.

It was all too much for you, you couldn't relax at all so you decided to let the alcohol do its best. And it did. Glass after glass and you soon became carefree. Your head was floating and your eyelids were getting heavy.

You never took alcohol well. When you were in good company, you always drank like everyone else, but you never knew the limit when you should stop. You would always feel too good and relaxed until it suddenly took you away. And so it often happened that you overdrink and get drunk, just like this time.

When you were together Carlos was always the one who took care of you when you drank. He was always overly protective of you, especially since you were 5 years younger than him. He never let you out of his sight and always made sure that no one approached you or looked at you in a way he didn't like.

“I think you’ve had enough.” Carlos said approaching you and taking the glass from your hand.

“I wouldn't agree with you.” You slurred reaching for it, but he took your hand turning you around and pressing your back against his chest. You leaned your head back against his chest as his arm rested around your waist. “You don’t get to hug me like this.” You mumbled drunkenly with your eyes half closed.

“Let me take you home, you’ll pass out if you keep up like this.” He said.

“I don't need you to drive me home, I can drive myself.” You stated confidently even though you probably couldn't even get to the car without someone else's help.

“There is absolutely no way I’m letting you drive like this.”

“Let me just find my keys. I’m sure they are here somewhere.”

While you searched unsuccessfully all over Isabella's apartment for your apartment keys, which were in your pants pocket, Carlos meanwhile went to inform your friend that he was driving you home and that he’s gonna take care of you.

“Vamos” He said coming back for you.

“Don’t you vamos me. I can vamos myself.” You talked nonsense trying your best to walk as straight as possible, but obviously struggling.

He couldn't help but laugh at you so as soon as you left the apartment and closed the door behind you, he lifted you up and took you in his arms which made you let out a scream and instinctively wrap your arms around his neck.

“Put me down!” You protested, but he ignored you enjoying the feeling of your skin against his. He wanted to kiss you, but he didn't want your first kiss after so long to be like this.

When he put you in the car on the passenger seat, you fell asleep as soon as your head hit the window beside you. He admired you for a minute taking your hand and intertwining your fingers together. He brought it up to his lips leaving a small soft kiss and continued to hold your hand the entire drive to your apartment.

You unconsciously squeezed his hand in your sleep, which brought a smile to his face. He knew that no matter how much you resisted, he would always have a soft spot in your heart.

After a 15 minute drive to your apartment, you finally arrived and you were still fast asleep. Only when Carlos took you in his arms again did you start to wake up.

“Carlos?” You murmured softly leaning your head more into him.

“Hm?” He asked walking with you to the door of the building.

“Please don’t leave” His heart trembled when he heard you say that. He wanted to tell you not to worry, that he will never leave you again if that's what you want, but he knew that there was no point in saying it now because you certainly wouldn't remember it in the morning.

“I won’t leave, baby, don’t worry” He soothed you.

Once you reached your apartment, he immediately took you to your bedroom and laid you down on the bed. You woke up enough to kick off your shoes and pull Carlos to sit on the bed next to you.

“Come here” You whispered putting your hands on his cheeks and pressing your lips against his. His hands found your waist pulling you closer to him. You were quick to straddle him as you sat in his lap and he hugged you tightly without breaking the kiss.

“I want you” You whined quietly into the kiss. “I want you to touch me, I want you to fuck me” He groaned at your words throwing his head back as you kissed his neck. The bulge in his pants grew uncontrollably as he felt you rub against him and roam your hands through his body.

“Baby, no..We can’t” He sighed taking your wrists into his hands and stopping you. He couldn’t believe he was rejecting you. You. He couldn’t believe it. He missed your touch immensely, and your body in every possible way, but he didn't want you to think tomorrow morning that he took advantage of you. He’d never have sex with you while he was sober and you were wasted.

“Please Carlos..It’s been so long since I came…”

“Oh fuck y/n..” Your confession knocked him off his feet. He squeezed your waist sighing. He leaned his forehead against yours stopping your movements and pressing you down on him just so he could get any kind of friction for a brief second because his cock was throbbing in his pants while he was listening to you.

“Don’t you want me?” You pout.

“Baby, I want you so much I think I would cum as soon as I put it inside you”

“Then put it inside me” He hisses and you moan kissing him again.

“No, we’re not doing it like this. Not while you’re drunk out of your mind” He stands his ground making you whine again.

“Carlos..please” You plead again, but there’s no way he would give in. You just mean too much to him.

“As soon as you sober up I’m gonna make you cum so many times you’ll forget your own name” He says turning you over and laying you down on the bed again. “Now get some sleep okay?”

You grumbled and frowned like a child. You didn't want to talk to him, and he didn't pay much attention to it because he knew that you would thank him for it tomorrow.

Not long after you fell asleep, Carlos laid down next to you and pulled you close. You leaned on his chest and he caressed you and left small kisses on your forehead until he himself fell asleep as well.

He could believe that it was happening again - you in his arms - because he always believed that the two of you would meet again, this time at the right time. He felt in his bones that you were meant for each other and there was no way he would ruin this chance with you. He was just hoping you’d feel the same way when you woke up.

When you opened your eyes in the morning, you were hungover, your head hurt and you couldn't wait to get in the shower and wash everything off. After you took a shower, you heard noises in the kitchen. By some miracle, you remembered everything from last night. You remembered that you wanted to drive alone and that Carlos stopped you and that you were forcing him to have sex with you and that he refused because you were drunk.

You knew he took care of you last night.

You wrapped a towel around your body and headed towards the kitchen where you met Carlos in an apron making breakfast. You leaned against the door frame watching him from a far and smiling at the scene before you.

“Carlos” You said after a while making him look up to the side at you.

“Mi amor..” He said quietly not sure how you would react. He stopped everything he was doing as you approached him and stood in front of him.

He was completely surprised when you wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head on his chest. He thought he was dreaming. He hugged you tighter closing his eyes and kissing your head.

“Thank you” You whispered.

“For what, baby?”

“For staying last night” He smiled at you and leaned down to kiss you which you happily welcomed and kissed him back.

A gentle and slow kiss turned into a fast and passionate one in a matter of seconds. Before you knew it you were lying back in your bed as he was hovering over you pinning your hands above your head.

“I swear you were all I could think about all this time” He mumbled against your skin leaving a trail of kisses down your neck towards your stomach as he removed the towel off you.

Every part of your body craved him. You were dying for him to touch you and make you feel the way no one else ever could.

“Touch me, please” You whimpered and he obliged sliding his hand down to your wet crotch.

“Baby, you’re so wet already” He hissed proudly knowing that he’s the only one who can have you soaking wet within seconds.

“I missed you” You justified yourself by confirming the statement you confessed to him last night.

He slipped his fingers inside you and with the other hand he started rubbing your clit. He was pumping in and out of you teasingly slowly making you buck up your hips. “Does that feel good?” He asked.

“Yeah” You moan.

His lips quickly replace his fingers as he starts circling his tongue around your clit his hands now moved to your hips holding down to keep you from fidgeting as you cum all over his tongue.

“That’s it baby” He murmured licking off your juices that were dripping out of you. “You taste so sweet”

He hovers over you again putting his lips on yours pushing his tongue in for you to taste yourself, but you’re impatient to feel him inside you, all of him.

“You wanna take it?” He asks and you eagerly nod your head. He took his cock in his hand giving it a few strokes and grunting as he teased your clit with his tip. Feeling the warmth of your pussy he started leaking the precum before he aligned himself with your entrance.

“I’ll go slow baby, okay?” He leaned on his elbows over to you leaving a soothing kiss on your cheek. As he was trying to enter you he reminded you how big he was because you could never forget.

You winced whimpering as he pushed himself in and cooed you softly. “It’s okay, it’s okay” He was kissing you all over your face and neck staying still until you got used to the feeling of him.

Once he felt you calm down under him he asked “Can I move baby?”

“Please”

That’s all it took for him to start thrusting in you slowly at first and then faster and deeper. The way he was stretching you out hitting your deepest spot knocking the air out of your lungs it had you seeing stars.

“You’re doing so good, so so good” He praised you as you wrapped your legs around his torso and pushed him deeper inside you. You felt him getting closer as his movement started getting sloppier. “Baby I can’t hold back anymore, I’m gonna cum”

“Cum inside me” You whispered sending him over the edge. You reached your climax as well as you felt him twitch inside you and fill you in streams. Both of you rode out the waves of pleasure moaning and grasping on to each other. Once both of your breathing calmed down he pulled out of you and left little kisses all over your stomach making you blush.

“I love you Carlos” You whisper tangling your fingers in his hair.

“Mi niña” He smiled coming back up to face you. “I love you too. I’ll never let you slip out of my fingers ever again.”

“I’ll go home with you.”

[leviscolwill]

adore

pairing: bsf!jude x fem!reader

summary: you adored your friendship with jude, but sometimes you wished things weren't so complicated between the two of you. [wc: 3,2k]

contents: mostly angst ??? a few cute moments here and there bc i'm fluff girly thru and thru 🤞, they can't communicate to save their life, drunk jude, a random man being annoying, jude being a dumb fuck, language, did i miss anything ?

note: this wip has been rotting in my drafts for a couple of months, i hope you enjoy it because i really enjoyed writing it 🫶

now playing adore by cashmere cat & ariana grande...

"please don't leave me y/n... you don't understand, i need you here."

"jude, i'm literally going to the toilet. i'll be back in 5 minutes, now let me go."

your best friend had always been the clingy type whenever he'd reach his alcohol limit (which was usually only after a couple of drinks). but tonight he was practically glued to your side, not that you minded, you basically spent your whole life attached by the hip. but you had to admit, it hurt a bit to see the person you couldn't have, not in the way you wanted to have him, at least, act all lovey-dovey with you.

the nature of your relationship with jude was complex, to say the least. he was your best friend since you were kids and you wouldn't change that for the world. but the way he looked at you sometimes made you yearn for something more, or whenever his touches on your shoulder or your waist would linger a bit too long to be friendly. maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you, after all, the chances of jude wanting you the way you wanted him were very low, not to mention the fact you led two different lives. but it didn't matter, you could manage to live and long for him with the hope that one day you could be more than a best friend to him. and this thought was all you needed to face him and his sparkly eyes for the rest of the night.

when you got out of the bathroom, your mind was still full of thoughts of your relationship with jude running in your mind. you were so engrossed in your thoughts that you bumped into a man's chest, not really being careful about your surroundings.

"i'm sorry, i wasn't looking." you quickly apologise to him, you were already on your way to your friends before the man grabbed your wrist, quickly letting it go.

"it's okay sweetheart, can i get your name as an apology ?" you cringed at his poor attempt at flirting with you, but you weren't feeling confrontational tonight.

"i'm-"

"y/n !" jude's voice made your head turn in surprise.

"you were gone for so long i almost forgot what your beautiful face looked like." he said smashing his face on your shoulder.

"is that your boyfriend?"

"ummm, no he's my-"

"depends who's asking." jude interrupted you, side-eyeing the nameless man.

"jude. i can speak for myself." the look he gave you broke your heart a bit, his lips pouting in sadness.

"if he is not your boyfriend, i'd gladly take your number, might even take you back to my hotel room..." it was obvious to everyone around that the situation was uncomfortable for you, that familiar feeling of disgust you always got when a man was being too friendly creeping on you.

"who do you think you are?" your best friend stared at the man with a frown on his face.

"jude, let's not..." the tension between the two men was evident as people stopped to stare at whatever was happening.

"relax mate, i just wanna talk to your friend nothing more." the stranger grabbed your wrist, still looking at jude, testing him, testing how far he would go to stop this.

"let me go." you didn't have to try getting away from him because jude did it for you.

the nameless guy suddenly let you go, and seeing him hold his jaw while screaming profanities at your best friend was all you needed to understand what just happened. jude punched him, but the alcohol in his veins prevented him from dodging the punch that came straight for his eyebrow.

immediately you took jude's arm before he found another idea to mess up your night some more, and walked out of the packed club for some air. you ordered a uber for the two of you and texted your friends that you were getting home early.

even fresh air couldn't rid you of the anger that coursed through your body. of course, you were mad at the man who couldn't keep his hands to himself. but another part of you couldn't help but be pissed at jude and his impulsive behaviour. but when you looked at him and saw blood trickle down from his eyebrow, everything was suddenly forgotten and you could only worry.

"fuck you're bleeding, why didn't you tell me? fuck, fuck, fuck." you searched through your bag for a tissue, mentally cursing yourself for how messy it was, and handed one to jude.

"just didn't wanna bother you..." he mumbled, holding it to his wound.

you both waited for the uber in complete silence, you knew you needed to have a conversation with jude about what just happened but you'd do it tomorrow, when he was sober and when your judgement wouldn't be clouded by anger.

thankfully, your uber didn't take too long to arrive, you helped jude put his seatbelt on after watching him struggle with it for a good minute. the atmosphere was tense and it seemed the driver felt it so he didn't try to make conversation with any of you.

you were halfway to your destination when you felt jude's fingers brush against yours lightly. you took a glance at where your hand lay, on the middle seat, jude's hand was right next to yours and when you looked at him he was suddenly entranced by his shoes, busy pretending it never happened.

you were sick of him acting like a child, so you held his hand, since he obviously wouldn't do it himself. the rest of the drive was silent but the atmosphere was peaceful, a nice change from the club.

you let go of jude's hand once you arrived at the villa you rented with your group of friends. you immediately took jude to the bathroom to clean his cut, he looked like a child while you were gathering the material you needed, mumbling words to himself with a frown on his face.

"is it gonna hurt?"

"probably not." these were the first words you exchanged since the club, the uneasy atmosphere of the room wasn't one you were used to whenever you were with jude. he was the one person who could understand you the best in the world, but it just wasn't the case tonight.

"can you hold my hand?" it was like he turned four again. but you couldn't deny anything from him, especially not when his eyes were glassy from all the drinks he had, so you took jude's hand in yours.

you started cleaning the cut, fully focused on your task, trying your best not to be distracted by the way your faces were inches from each other's.

"you're so pretty..."

if there was one thing you knew about drunk jude, it was that had loose lips. he couldn't keep any secret from you whenever he had the right amount of alcohol in his veins, and that often worked in your favour, but right now his words were only distracting you from your job.

"don't say that..." your heart was racing both at his words and at the proximity you two shared.

"i mean it." he was tracing your jaw with his fingers. you felt your hand quiver at the unexpected contact, and afraid you might mess something up because of jude, you quickly put a bandage on top of his, now clean, cut.

you started tidying up everything you used and expected jude to go to his room but he didn't budge.

"what's wrong?" you were a bit worried his injury was more serious than you thought and his brain was just working a bit slower than usual.

"kiss it better... please?" he said pointing at his bandage with a kissy face.

you were torn between kissing or slapping some sense into the boy standing in front of you. jude bent down so your face was in front of his, you obliged because you knew hammered jude would not have let you go to bed before you kissed him better. not because you wanted to, of course.

he was still unmoved, looking deep into your eyes so you took his hand in yours and led him to his bedroom for him to get a good night of sleep.

once you got jude to his bedroom safely, which wasn't an easy task given how starstruck he was at every little everyday thing in the house, he threw himself on his bed and grumbled something about clothes, before taking off his shirt with no prior notice. you immediately looked at your feet to give him some privacy while he changed clothes. he only giggled at your action saying he knows how much you would like to watch undress. which wasn't true, of course.

you took a quick peek, to make sure he was under his sheets. handing him a glass of water once he had his sheets pulled up to his chin and a content look on his face.

"no thanks, i'm not hungry."

"this is a glass of water?" you were perplexed at jude's words. the fatigue of your body preventing you from trying to understand his nonsense.

"well, i'm not hungry for water." you sighed at his childlike behaviour and considered shoving the water down his throat at some point before retracting, not really wanting to deal with the homicide of one the most in-demand football players of the moment.

you placed the glass on his bedside table and walked towards the door, unwilling to talk to a very drunk jude when all your body asked for was a good night of sleep.

but you couldn't ignore jude calling your name in a tired voice. you turned around to listen to whatever he had to say to you, only for him to beckon you closer with his hand. you rolled your eyes but still obliged, sitting on the unoccupied side of his bed.

"i just wanted to know why you were mad at me tonight." you didn't want to have this conversation tonight, but it seemed jude had other plans.

"because even if your intention was right, i think we could've solved the issue with no fits of screaming and fighting. i know you meant right but you can't just act without thinking all the time." you weren't even sure jude was registering your words properly, his eyes moving up and down your face.

"but i was mad at him too, he kept talking to my girl as if i wasn't right there." although jude was hardly convincing by the way the words came out of his mouth all slurred, you had to admit him calling you his girl put a faint smile on your face.

you thought your best friend was done but he just kept right on.

"fuck, you don't even know how many times i wished i was your boyfriend to stop these men looking at you that way. i mean i wished i was your boyfriend all the time, but especially then and also when you show me whoever you're talking to, you really have a vile taste in men y'know."

you looked at jude in total shock, he wasn't aware of what he just said from the way his face had the same drunken expression as before.

"do you mean it?" maybe he was pulling a prank on you. the look on his face didn't seem too serious, but then again he was drunk, how could you know how serious he was?

he laughed, how could he laugh in what was a very serious situation from your point of view?

"of course i mean it, sometimes it even looks like you want me too, maybe i just thought wrong. just tell me you don't want me, i reckon i could live with the fact i'm your best friend a bit longer." jude's nonsense somehow got even more nonsensical. how could he be saying all this with a smile on his face? even worse, how could he possibly think you didn't want him to be your boyfriend? you didn't even know what to say to him. hell, was there even a right thing to say in this exact situation?

"you can't do this to me jude... you can't just say this shit to me when you're drunk out of your mind. what do you expect me to say? i don't even know if you're aware of what you're telling me right now." words finally found their way out, your voice was much less cheery and much angrier than his as you felt a sense of injustice seeping through your veins. how could he say this to you like it was the simplest thing in the world? did he only love you when he was drunk? did he actually mean that, or was he over-exaggerating things under the influence?

"i love you and i loved you for a long time, please believe me, i know you're my best friend, and i don't want to ruin things between us... but i just needed to get this off my chest." jude was truly confused as to why you were so mad at him for this sudden 'confession'. of course, you didn't have to reciprocate his feelings, but he could only think about how he ruined your friendship for good from the way you responded so vehemently.

"goodnight jude." you left his room before he could add anything, and your thoughts were already running wild. you weren't sure if you should be feeling happy that he felt for you what you felt for him, or if you should be mad at jude for dropping this bomb on you so suddenly when he could clearly not think straight, making you doubt about the whole thing.

if you were overthinking before, your brain was now about to explode from everything that just happened in the span of an hour.

once you got under your sheets, no amount of sheep counting, lofi music, or breathing methods could put you to sleep. your brain was screaming at you, urging you to freak out about what just happened. every and each of your thoughts led back to jude, your own brain was torturing you, forcing you to separate truth from fiction at 3am.

you wished jude told you the truth, you wished his drunken words were his sober thoughts. but you didn't know how you were supposed to act like this never happened if this wasn't the case. how could you possibly come back to your little role, so well perfected over the years, of jude's best friend after he gave you the smallest glimpse of hope? your friendship with jude was the most important thing for you, but you wondered if you'd be able to pretend for the rest of your life or if you would go insane before that.

when sleep finally started taking over your endless train of thought, you came to the conclusion that if he meant what he said earlier, he'd have no issues telling you once he sobered up. you comforted yourself with this idea while your eyes closed by themselves, no more energy left in them to fight for the sake of overthinking.

jude had been avoiding you all day. the only time you exchanged an eye contact was during breakfast and even then he quickly went back to his room, not speaking a word to you. you could tell he was avoiding you like the plague, if he happened to be where you were he'd immediately flee the room, suddenly mesmerized by his phone.

you wished you were mad at him for how he was treating you and how he was making you feel, but the truth is, you could only focus on your heart breaking a little more each time he'd walk past you like you were two strangers.

after dining with the rest of your friends, you decided you were sick of jude's little games. if he didn't want to talk to you, then you would confront him whether he liked it or not.

it took you all the strength of the world to knock on his door after taking a deep breath.

no answer.

there was no way he knew it was you, you were sure of it. maybe he was just avoiding everyone tonight? you quickly refuted this idea, you saw him laugh with a couple of your friends half an hour ago.

you knocked again, a bit harsher this time to make sure he'd hear it. still nothing. you were preparing yourself to knock one more time, with much less hope than the first time.

"y/n, what are you doing?" yasmeen's voice startled you, it almost felt like getting caught doing something you shouldn't be doing.

"um... just needed to talk to jude, do you know where he is?" you couldn't help but feel embarrassed at the question. you were his best friend, if anyone should know where he was, that would be you. and your friend's dumbfounded look wasn't helping the heat creeping on your face right now.

"what do you mean? he left like an hour ago, had an unexpected meeting in london or something like that... he didn't tell you?"

it had been a very long time since you felt this way, maybe since middle school when your math teacher made fun of you in front of the whole class. your mouth suddenly drying, the sensation of your heart constricting, and your eyes stinging, trying their best not to let the sadness spill. it all felt like one big joke, you hoped jude would open the door, he'd tell you he was messing with you, he'd tell you everything he said last night again.

but that moment did not come. you couldn't answer yasmeen, afraid that the truth might spill along with your tears if you uttered a word. you simply shook your head, and went to your room, trying your best not to meet her eyes. your friends weren't blind, they could tell something was wrong between jude and you today, although none of them asked you what happened, they just kept a watchful eye on you and the way you looked at jude, in hopes he'd look back.

it felt good to cry in the privacy of your own room, far from the speculative conversation others were most likely having about the whole situation.

once your eyes were short of tears, you somehow found the strength to take your phone and click on your messages with jude to type a new one.

let's just keep doing what you did all day

i'll pretend you don't exist and last night never happened

probably best for us :)

[inkyquince]

Sincerely, Bailey (Commission)

characters. Bailey. (Hinted Briar. And Harper is Bcc'd out of worry)

cw. implied drunken bailey. violence, both physical and sexual. angry emotional bailey. mentions of sex trafficking, Robin slander. dubious consent of treatment of pc.

notes. Letter Commission for PippyLI! Once again, SO sorry how long it took to get out, having to do IRL stuff for a year basically sucked. Hope you enjoyed angry emotional Bailey! Thank you! Sorry i was FIGHTING to get this into an email format but oh my god it wasn't working at all.

From: CaretakersForYourNeeds@ub.com 

To: thorns@ub.com

Subject: 50% off Paneling for your Home, 5 Star Reviews Draft

B, look over this draft before I send it. 

Hello Customer! 

We are having a big sale on our boys coming in and sprucing up your home! Spend over £250 on our service and we shall knock off £20 to a whole new paint job for a whole room! Then £10 off for every third room painted! Spend over £500 on our service and we shall install new radiators for half price! 

Enough of that. If your wife reads further than that paragraph of what’s an obvious spam email, she’s too stupid to to be alive. Get rid of her and stop wasting my time. 

This is more of a courtesy email about your inquiry into one of our selections, number 209. I’ve been the caretaker of numbers 191 to 220 for a long time, and I can personally attest that that product is not suited for what you’ve outlined you wish to do. I know on their file it recommends consumers should enjoy taming, sadism, bondage at most in order to get any use out of them. However, in my professional opinion, they should be taken off the list and left to the gropers and rapists wandering the town, and the customers at the brothel. 

In my personal experience, they would have benefited to be put directly into the brothel  or the farm right away. Give them hands-on experience immediately rather than wasting time making them make money by themselves. They started out very promising in the beginning, very malleable but have proven to be a nuisance to both myself and the people around them. Either that or be put permanently underneath my care to make sure minor annoyances are kept at a minimum. 

They refuse to behave, even under threat of assault or worse. I do not think that anyone other than myself could handle them. Now, before I get a complaint from you, no, it’s not because I’m their caretaker and have paternal feelings towards them. I’ve watched them get their cunt stretched out by strange cocks too much to care about if they have a good time having sex. I would be helping the public by keeping them under lock and key. 

So my counter offer will be to take their friend, #201 in return. A whiny crybaby who reacts well to sadism. Of course, you might have to deal with them trying to save the little shit, but we don’t cover fees to do with losing a product halfway through your paid time. Just a warning. For a price of 30% of your original payment I could keep them busy so there’s no chance of missing out on your full 12 hours of paid time. 

I would be prepared to spend those 12 hours showing them exactly what happens when you don’t listen the first time. I’ve noticed that they become pliant to a rough fuck the longer it goes on, if they’re allowed to bite and get a few scratches in. No better than a mewling beast once all their thoughts go to their clit. They also seem fixated on riling me up enough to drag them down and fuck them. With other’s they bite and scratch and use pepper spray (I have no idea where they keep getting these, the supply in town is very limited), but despite the threats of shipping them off to the brothel or to a close friend, they instead fight. But no, they don’t fight me in a coherent, normal way, no, they’re diving for my cock and trying to make me cum while I’m trying to teach them to pay their rent on time. 

They love it. They love angering me, they love going into my office, they love offering up their body for a “one time” extension, even though they keep doing it, no matter how many times I ruin them against my desk, their cunt gripping me so tightly. Maybe they have a fucked up crush, or maybe they’re just sick in the head. 

But I can’t get rid of them, they bring in so much mney that I can’t kick them out. They bring in rent, they keep the other little shits quiet and they’re so fuckin good at their job that I have insane fuckheads like you asking personally to request them. But who cares, they clamp around a cock disgustingly tight, they suck down cock like it’ll divorce them if they don’t and now I have to write this breakdown on why you can’t experience that at 3am and getting hard while I do it. I never fuck orphans but apparently they live to make my day miserable and start off with a double of vodka with no fuckin mixer. All because some fuck came in after being kicked in the dick by this little shithead and wanted his fucking money back. I have to write fucking disclaimers now. What the fuck. 10 years ago we didn’t have to do this shit. What do you mean I have to spend 12 hours of my day fucking this Bin Baby so that they won’t wander away and save the most annoying boy I’ve ever met? What the fuck. The other day I had to fucking jerk off to when they buried their face in my crotch and whined for my dick. If it was anyone else, I’d kick them in the crotch until they would have to go to hospital. 

I have no idea what fucking crack their mother was smoking before throwing them in the dumpster but now I’m stuck with a little asshole who loves my dick and won’t fucking behave. You want to fuck that? Try to and you won’t be fucking found. I will fucking wring that stupid addictive scent of their body, their cunt, out of your skin, and sell it to the nearest freak. You want Morgan wearing your fucking skin for touching them? I’ll take your teeth so no one will ever fucking find you, but who would care, your wife? The one who might read a spam email? And doesn’t care that your dick hasn’t worked except for when she shit out your crotch spawn? You think I won’t fuck you up for the sake of your kids who are older than my fucking orphan? 

Fuck you and your ugly fucking kids. 

Sincerely, 

Blailey

P.S briar should i also add that if you stick your thumb in their asshole they tighten up enough that i can see stars? that the first time i fucked them i fucking said that their body always belonged to me? and it fuckin was and still is. i should break their stupid little boyfriend’s nose for thinking they own that little slut. the smell of their shower wash is fuckin insane but it isnt. makes me want to fuck their thighs and make them walk around all day smelling of cum. briar who even is this stupid fuck. 

From: thorns@ub.com

To: me

Bcc: Harper@nhs.com

Subject: RE: 50% off Paneling for your Home, 5 Star Reviews Draft

An insane person wrote this. No client will buy anything after reading this. Stop it.

-B

P.S. you misspelled money, as well as your own name. How. Are you smoking something that you aren’t sharing with the class? Also have you ever even heard of an oxford comma? Eden was the drop out, not you.

P.P.S. Don’t punch kids. Also stop drinking. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for pretending to lose consciousness and using it as an excuse to drop out of school?

This happened when I was in HS but it's still eating me up. I (18F at the time) suffer from a severe case of IBS, which went undiagnosed for years. During the events of this story, I had no idea what my illness was which I suffered from ever since I was a toddler. My parents took me to several doctor, all who insisted I was perfectly healthy. Every year, the pain would get increasingly worse, and we try a different doctor every once in a while. I gave up seeking medical help during middle school because I was frustrated, the doctors believed I was faking to skip school and refused to write me notes. My parents know I don't lie, yet the doctor's words got to them. They don't exactly think I'm faking, but they think I'm exaggerating a mild stomachache because I wanted to skip school and have no will to fight. I mean, it's true that I have a low tolerance to pain, even getting my hair straightened is a painful experience for me everytime.

Anyway, since IBS tends to attack when someone feels bad, high school was the worst period in my life for numerous reasons but mainly because I was getting severely bullied. Also due to my frustration with doctors, I started believing that my illness was terminal and had yet to be discovered and I was severely depressed thinking my death was soon, which made my IBS worse. When the pain was at its worst, it felt like my belly was being stabbed from the inside by several knives, it leaves me to exhausted to get up from my bed. I always locked my room's door so my parents wouldn't try to drag me out of the bed Whenever I wanted to skip school. Despite at the constant pain I was in, never once did I lose consciousness because of it. Sometimes I wish I could faint so I wouldn't feel the pain for a short a period of time, but it never happened.

In days which pain is manageable, I try my best to go to school, I often attended 2-3 days each week. I specifically insisted on going to this school because it's lenient, unlike the school my parents tried to send me to.

However, just because the pain was manageable, it didn't mean that I was feeling fine. The constant exhaustion from the severe IBS attacks left me tired all the time and I just wanted to lay in my bed again. I spent most of my time at school resting my head on the desk and teachers got used to it, but they drew the line at me actually falling asleep in class.

It happened when I was like 4-5 months away from graduating, I just wanted to rest, I had enough of the pain that I didn't want to set afoot in school again, but my parents wouldn't let me. Eveyrone thinks I'm fine and just exaggerating, that's why, I used my perfect acting skills to drop to the floor while sitting in my chair, I heard everyone whispering about how worrying the way I fell was, that it must be something serious. Classmates kept shaking me for a minute but I didn't react because I wanted it to look real. I eventually pretended to wake up and told them that I couldn't handle it anymore. That period was my Physics final, which I didn't study for, and I didn't want to take it. I have no idea what lessons we took because I never studied or paid attention in class, I was literally at my limit.

I was allowed to rest that day, and when I went back home I told my parents about losing consciousness and that I desperately need to rest. They allowed me to drop out on the condition I go back to school the next year, I agreed, but secretly believed I would never live that long to attend school ever again.

My best friend cried really hard when I told her we wouldn't be graduating together and begged me to reconsider. I told her my illness got worse to the point I started fainting, and I desperately needed to rest.

Of course, I'm still very much alive and learned what's actually wrong with me (I literally self diagnosed myself based on people's experiences on the internet then "confronted" a doctor about it) and the IBS attacks are mild and manageable these days since I know what I need to do to avoid them, I have a full time job and rarely ever need to skip. But the guilt is making me feel like TA for worrying everyone about me and breaking my bff's heart. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[marvelouslytrekking]

A Much Needed Nap

Pairing: Leonard/reader Summary: The exhaustion from multiple crisis made a relaxing night very needed. Even if it meant forgetting something important. Word Count: 1037 A/N: It's been awhile but I was in need of something soft and could use a nap myself so this all but wrote itself. Hope you enjoy.

You knew that when you had enlisted in Starfleet that rest would not be something you would be all that familiar with, however, you hadn’t expected it to feel just so never ending. You knew it was the curse of getting assigned to the flagship, an assignment you would not give up for anything, expect right now, maybe a nice long nap would have you trading in your rank without much of a second thought.

You tried very hard to keep yourself balanced, however part of that balance was making sure you spent time with your friends, but between the back to back disasters and then the mandatory fun the captain would set up to help everyone “decompress” you felt like you have had no time to just relax, unless you were asleep but even that was limited. 

So when Uhura had asked you to get drinks with her after your shift, you didn’t even feel bad for turning her down, you must have looked like you needed the break because she didn’t even ask a second time. She was good at respecting boundaries, but she also liked to try and convince you to join her in shenanigans, so her not trying to entice you, even slightly, was a sign that you looked as exhausted as you felt. 

You sighed happily as you slipped into lounge clothes, you couldn’t even think of the last time these sweats had made an appearance. You plopped yourself on the couch and pressed play on the first movie that came up on your padd. You heard your doorbell go off and you groaned, you hadn’t even made it 10 minutes into the movie. Maybe Nyota had changed her mind and was going to try and force you out with her. 

“Come in” You shouted, too lazy to move to see exactly who it was. You barely even turned your head to look at who you had just let enter your space. 

“From the look of it, I am going to assume you’ve forgotten of our planned date.” You heard a gruff voice say from your doorway, a slight chuckle in his voice. 

“Oh my god!” You sat up rather quickly to look up and see Leonard with a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a rather nice looking outfit on. You had been so busy the last few weeks, you and Leonard had barely had time to even see each other in passing. You had finally synced calendars and made plans to have a nice sit down date, one that was more than a 5 minute lunch, or 15 conversation before you both passed out in one of your beds. “It completely slipped my mind, I am so so sorry Len. If you give me like 10 minutes, I can be ready.”

You stood up and walked over to him, reaching up to pull him into a kiss, “The flowers are lovely” You toyed with one of the leaves, smiling at how much thought he had put into getting them for you. 

“You’re fine, you look exhausted,” He frowned slightly when he took in just how true that statement was.

“And here I was about to say how handsome you looked, and you’re saying I look terrible” You huffed. 

“Now don’t put words in my mouth, I said you look tired, not terrible.” He glared at you, “How could I possibly think you look terrible when you look so adorable in my sweatshirt.”

You tried and failed to hold back the smile at his comment, “I don’t remember this being yours.”

“Probably cause you stole it forever ago.” 

“Well anyway, just make yourself comfortable, and I will get changed.” You told him, “though don’t even ask, you’re not getting this hoodie back.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” He smiled, “But no need to change, we can just stay in. Looks like you just started a movie, and I would hate to make you not finish that, plus i could use a nice calm evening too”

“Are you sure? I feel terrible about ruining plans that you clearly took time to make.” You frowned. 

“It really wasn’t anything crazy, we can rain check it until you have had more sleep.” He told you, sincerity in his voice. 

“Thank you, Len.” You smiled, pulling him into a hug. He didn’t hesitate wrapping his arms tightly around you, staying like that for a while, just happy to be in each other's arms. 

“How about, I get these beautiful flowers in a vase, you go change into something more comfy and we can just curl up on the couch, eat some shitty replicator food and watch the dumb movie I had started,”

“Sounds perfect” He planted a kiss on your forehead before passing the flowers off to you and heading in your room to find some of his clothes to change into. 

You had finished putting the flowers in a vase and placing them neatly on your counter before finding some food to replicate when Len came out with a few extra pillows and blankets from your room. Upon seeing how cozy he was about to make the couch, you had no doubt you would be finding yourself asleep soon but you were just happy to have some time to spend with Len quietly. 

As you set the food down on the coffee table, Leonard had gotten himself and the pillows and such situated. You then found yourself getting settled curled up against his chest. You each grabbed a bowl of food and ate in comforting silence as the movie neither of you were paying all that much attention to played in the background. Once you were done eating and the dishes were set aside, you felt Leonard lightly playing with your hair, a gentle kiss here or there placed on your hairline. It wasn’t much longer before you felt yourself slipping into a deep sleep. 

Before fully succumbing to the sleep that was gripping at you, you found yourself mutter a soft, barely audible, “Love you so much Len,”

“I love you too dear” Softly, with so much care behind the normally gruff voice was the last thing you registered before you were fully asleep.

[butterflydm]

this is random but i just remembered that ages ago i saw an ask game for asking fic writers their 5 favorites/ones they're most proud of of their own fics, and i would love to know yours if you're up for it! it would be so interesting to hear a Butterfly Career Retrospective haha

feel free to be flexible on the number and discuss as many or as few fics as you feel like, and to count a whole series as a single entry (like voice, although if you have any particular favorite installments or interludes within that that you'd like to note i'd be curious to hear that too!)

This took a while but I finally got it done, @markantonys!

I have written a lot of fics, so this was a difficult challenge. I am somewhat helped out by the fact that old fics tend to fade out of my memory… but then if I reread a bit of them, I tend to remember why I wrote them and what I loved about them. I did not limit myself to five fics (I tried!) but these are roughly in reverse chronological order of when I posted them.

not in the stars, but in ourselves - trying to bob and weave and make something that feels narratively satisfying out of the mess that is Mat Cauthon's late series arc has become something of a hobby of mine! This is fic is one of several where I narratively examine parts of the canon that didn't work so well for me and try to rearrange them into something that feels like it rings true for the previous characterization and choices.

This fic in particular really made me see how the roadblocks that existed in each of the character's main plotlines was so much easier to solve if they had access to the other main characters (and I suspect that's part of why Jordan kept them so unnaturally separated during these arcs).

I also really enjoy the romance in this fic, and how the characters interact with prophecy in more unexpected ways, and how Rand and Mat help each other through their traumas, and how each of the members of the polycule bring their own perspective to the relationship.

the caffrey exception in White Collar fandom - this fic languished mostly unfinished on my harddrive for a long time before polyweek gave me an excuse to finish it up and post it! I wasn’t really in White Collar fandom, was the problem, and I always write and post more consistently when I have fellow fandom people to encourage me. I also was originally watching WC with my (now ex-)girlfriend and I stopped watching after we broke up, iirc, so I didn’t actually finish the show until years later. And by the time I was writing it, I didn’t feel like there was all that much visible fandom around. But it had a nice little response during polyshipweek, so I was really happy with how it all turned out. Makes me think that one day maybe I’ll finish up and post that RENT fanfic that’s been on my harddrive for eighteen million years.

negotiating with the truth in The Wheel of Time fandom - you can tell I got fancy with this fic because I gave the chapters titles, lol. This fic leans hard into Mat being an unreliable narrator and playing around with that, and it was a lot of fun to focus on and explore that part of him. I do love a lot of the fics I've written in WoT so trying to narrow it down more was tough (and I still only managed to narrow down to three!) but I really loved writing this one and exploring the differing ways that Mat and Rand were approaching this relationship of theirs and how they come to a compromise in the end. I think I really liked that they genuinely do have different wants and desires that need to be navigated.

voice interlude: feels like falling for the first time in The Wheel of Time fandom - this is, a little bit, subbing in for the Voice series as a whole, but I wanted to pick out a complete story and not something still in progress. I am pretty hopeful that Voice will get finished (there are three more main fics in the series, I think — one that mostly spoils through bk9: winter’s heart; one that mostly spoils through bk12: the gathering storm; and then one with whole-series spoilers) but I have some fairly long unfinished works in past fandoms, so eggs and hatching & etc.

What makes this fic in particular stand out to me is how I was able to really take this one moment in time in the series and expand on it so that I could deep-dive into Mat’s characterization and what he was thinking and feeling, and it’s such a revelatory moment for Mat. I enjoy showing characterization via writing about sex, and the interludes in the Voice series really allow me to do that.

my mouth (your lips) my hands (your hips) in The Magicians fandom - This fic where Margo and Eliot approach Quentin on this more equal ground (of them competing to see which of them can land him first) and it developing into a true polyam relationship… I really loved exploring how messy but ultimately loving it was. I also loved delving into Margo as an aromantic character in this fic, and how the great love of her life is her best friend.

A lot of my own fears and pains and worries made it into the three main characters in this one, though all in ways that make sense with their own base characterization, I think. There’s this one line that Eliot thinks - “he had always been better at self-preservation than bravery” and that is 100% canon Eliot but… yeah, it’s also me. One of the things I am working on in therapy is loosening the stranglehold of my self-preservation so that I can be a little braver when it comes to reaching out to other people.

If you like my poly fics in WoT fandom, you might also enjoy my marqueliot fics (but I wouldn’t recommend the show tbh. Or, well, I might rec it up until the episode “All That Hard Glossy Armor”. That’s a good one to end on. And it’s a Margo episode!).

searching for a sound (we hadn’t heard before) in The Magicians fandom - I wrote some serious fix-it fics in this fandom. But this fic was me taking the kind of ridiculous angle on a plotline that I think that the show might have actually pulled off, if it had been so inclined. This fic was also me balling up all my frustration at the poor writing choices and lobbing it at the show’s forehead. It was very cathartic to write. And I think it’s pretty funny too, so that’s a bonus.

(I’m Not Calling You A) Liar for Steven Universe fandom — I am cheating here and including a vid. This vid is… if I sliced up my heart (Hannibal style) and laid it out on a plate, it would look something like this vid. I actually started watching Steven Universe because I saw the “Stronger Together” clip with Garnet but soon after I started watching… holy shit, Pearl and her deep heartbreak over Rose just grabbed me by the throat and did not let me go. Watching her slowly process and begin to resolve her grief was a very healing experience when I was watching the show. There was something very much intensely yearning about Pearl at the start of SU, and how she was trying so hard to hide it (from Steven but from the other gems as well). But she can’t move on until she confronts and heals!

My favorite of the vids that I’ve made, I think, and the one I’m proudest of. There is maybe one single clip that I would change now if I went back to edit it again, but that’s it. I’m fully satisfied with the rest of it; and this is not the case with most of my vids. My Yuri! On Ice vid is probably the other one that comes closest to feeling like I wouldn’t change anything now.

Enyo’s Daughter in MCU fandom — so I am a bit of an odd one out in MCU fandom, because the ship that I liked the best, over any other… Tony and Natasha. Iron Man and Black Widow. It’s a complex and thorny ship, but I liked exploring it. Tony and Natasha both get to be messy and fucked up and exploring situations like that can be interesting. It was written pretty soon after the first Avengers movie came out, if I recall correctly. I never did finish the sequel to this fic, which I am kinda sad about.

Any fandom where canon is currently developing can be kinda tough for me to stay ahead of, in terms of writing any big fic series(es) — this is also why my big Star Wars WIP is destined never to be finished, tbh. I started writing it before a lot of the current canon even exists, and trying to go back and finish it would be difficult because the new shows & movies have changed so much and it can be hard to mentally reconcile what I knew back then vs what I know now when it comes to canon. Once the new MCU movies after Avengers came out, this fic was kinda doomed to never get the sequel finished, alas. And this is why WoT having a closed book canon has made writing fic for it easier, I think.

Melt into Time from American Idol RPF — time-travel fic! I’ve attempted it from time to time, but this one I actually finished. I don’t remember the actual process of writing this anymore, because my memory is for crap, as I mentioned at the start, but it is probably my favorite fic that I wrote in this fandom overall. It deals with second chances and a lot of yearning and people being emotionally messy (a theme for me, for sure).

Justice, Be Not Blind from Dexter — my one and only Dexter fic. What I remember most about writing this fic is that despite how short it is (less than 1k), I did so much research. Miguel Prado was hands-down my favorite character who ever appeared on Dexter and so I wanted to write a fic for him, but I wanted it to sound as true to his character voice as possible. I don’t even really remember the extent of the research that I did and it’s been so long that I couldn’t tell you anymore whether or not the character voice is accurate, but I remember how much I wanted to get this right and how much work I put into trying to get Miguel to feel genuine.

Travelers Without Map or Compass for Doctor Who fandom - cute romantic fluff, but I’m very fond of it. It captures a sort of vibe in the Doctor & Rose relationship that was very appealing to me, and I enjoyed exploring and expanding my thoughts on some of the rooms in the TARDIS.

Another Nameless Planet in the Star Wars (Prequel) fandom — I wrote longer fics in Star Wars fandom but honestly I think I captured Anakin best in this small fic that’s not really about anything in particular except Anakin wanting to be treated as an equal (by Obi-Wan specifically).

I have fics that I wrote before this point, but most of them I genuinely don’t remember writing to the point of going, “huh, oh, wow, I guess that was me, huh?” lol. But going back over my fics… man, it really is like having the deepest yearnings of your heart spread out in front of the world sometimes, isn’t it?

Thanks for sending me on this journey to the past! I hope you enjoyed it. <3

[cosmicdream222]

have you entered the void before?

I'm asking cause I've seen you post about it a bunch times with different methods to enter

Also, thank you for introducing me to the phase method! I'm using it and another method (one I created) to enter

Hey! Glad to hear the Phase has been helpful for you! Happy to answer your question, but it’s a bit more complicated than a yes/no answer and I’m feeling rambly today so you’re gonna get a whole backstory on how this blog came to be 😂

Backstory about me & this blog

I’d been in the personal development manifestation community since around 2016, and it was my life for a long time. But the kind of manifesting these people taught was basically like… wake up at 5am, work out, journal, meditate, shadow work, tarot cards, affirmations, cold showers, start a business, post no less than 10 times a day across your 5+ social media channels, and maybe if you hustle hard enough and cleared enough past life karma and Mercury isn’t retrograde, then the universe might grant your wishes... (if you don’t die of exhaustion first. 😅)

It really was a mess and realize now despite the facade of positive thinking and good vibes, the whole community really just keeps themselves identifying with lack & victim mentality so the coaches at the top profit off everyone else’s misery.

I believed in manifesting and had faith I would achieve my goals, but despite years of trying a million different things, only saw small or short-term successes and never seemed to get anywhere. I was feeling pretty burnt out and miserable, so summer 2023 I decided to stop trying so hard and just spend some time focused on myself and what I wanted. I went back to the two methods that I’ve always loved and had success with: affirmations and tapping.

I tapped every day and started making affirmation art and lockscreen wallpaper for fun. I posted the affirmations on Pinterest, which eventually lead me to finding affirmations pinned from tumblr. I think it was a screenshot from blushydior I saw at first, but her blog was deactivated by then. So I started stumbling around tumblr (around Aug-Sept 2023 at this point), where I eventually came across loa, the void, and shifting.

I was surprised because despite my extreme research into all things personal development & spiritual, I’d never heard of it. Although I’d read about quantum physics and more supernatural things, every coach/teacher had major limits. “Manifesting” only meant getting logical earth things like making 6 figures in your business through hard work and hustle so you can afford to travel and buy luxury cars & Chanel bags. Stuff like changing the past, waking up with all your desires, etc was absolutely impossible and not even talked about except “you can’t change the past”.

So having only heard about these incredible overnight life-changing manifestations from tumblr, I was skeptical and wanted more information. I basically started this blog to collect information from outside tumblr to prove it to myself and share with others. Which of course sent me down a rabbit hole of research and overconsumption and overcomplicating the void 😅

I did get kinda obsessed and throw myself into trying every shifting & void method I saw right away, which just left me frustrated with “failed” attempts. But I see now I was just repeating the same victim mentality from the old community - that everything had to be hard and a struggle, that I was a victim of circumstance and limited by a higher power. (This is also a really commonly held limiting belief in religion and society in general that affects many people.)

It took me more than a few months to realize, but I’m finally switching my default programming to that of a creator instead of a victim. Because I don’t want to be obsessed and put the void on a pedestal, I’m currently just working on my self concept that I am in control of my reality and can manifest whatever I want - with or without the void. I still do want to experience it of course, just want to make sure I’m going at it with a healthy mindset.

However!

About a week or two ago I read someone’s void success story that triggered a memory from many years ago: I realized I actually did wake up in the void and manifested something, long before I even knew what manifesting or the void was 😭 Because I’d always believed in supernatural things, I thought I had a “psychic dream” but now I know it was the void! (If anyone wants storytime I can make another post with more detail).

And since at the time, I entered without even knowing about the void’s existence, I realize we here or tumblr really do overcomplicate it. Like the video I posted where the void is described as the midway point between wake and sleep - it really is that simple!

I’ve noticed now that whenever I wake up naturally (not getting woken up by an alarm, outside noise, or cat jumping on me) I do always seem to wake up in the void. It’s the same kind of experience, and I don’t hear anything, but my first natural instinct when I wake up is to wonder where the sounds of my environment are. So I end up tuning in to my room and snapping out of the void.

I guess I just have to train myself to make my first thought an affirmation for my desires instead of just wondering where the sounds are 😅 But regardless, now I know it’s absolutely real and possible for me, I know it’s only a matter of time until I figure it out!

[vxiphoid]

JUBILANT ANTHEMS

❨ summary ❩ twst › dorms playing apples to apples together (ft. heartslabyul, savanaclaw, ignihyde)

tags ✧ no reader but we’ll just say they’re spectating, initials after dialogue so you know who’s talking, family bonding time lmao, they literally fight like siblings, cursing, crack, ooc (?)

amanuensis’ message ⊹ im PRAYING yall know how to play apples to apples bc i did not explain anything… (INSTRUCTIONS, skip if you already know) basically the judge would pick up a green card and pick a word. the other players (except the judge) use one of their red apple cards that is best suited for the word and place the card face down on the table. the judge shuffles the played cards and then picks one and whoever played the red card that the judge picked, gets the green card the judge picked. first to 5 wins! i confused myself trying to make this, goodnight💀

⌜ 1k ⌟

♫ heart racing - kanii, roivaz, & nimstarr

twst masterlist

HEARTSLABYUL

cater is the oldest, he starts first!

cater’s word choice: chewy.

CATER’S MINDSET

╰┈➤ if were being honest, he didn’t know what word to choose, so he went with the most weirdest one on his green card. you gotta keep it interesting somehow… had a good laugh from everyones expression when he chose his word though.

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

TREY

best poker face, he’s always smiling. trey and ace almost slapped each others hands trying to place down their cards first. it was a silent duel between the two but for sure nothing is more superior than his card. he was sure to win, just two more points.

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

RIDDLE

gave cater the most HARDEST side eye at his word choice and got a pure smile back. he had the perfect card for the other word on the green card that would’ve flawlessly given him a point but nooo cater had to pick chewy >:(. riddle has no cards to fit this description so he is petty!!!

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

DEUCE

clueless. he knows what he’s doing to an extent but this word leaves him stumped, had to look at the synonyms on the green card more than once. otherwise, clueless. it seems like riddle is a little irritated by his cards so deuce is happy he’s not the only one struggling. he is the last to place down his card after his long, thorough decision making.

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

ACE

THE FIRST TO SLAP DOWN A CARD, YOU COULD HEAR THE CLAP ECHO. like he’s been waiting for this since 1985 or something, he’s giddy with excitement. with his whole being, he knows this point is his. what do you think of that TREY?

cater has shuffled the red cards, who got the point?!

CATER’S CHOICE

╰┈➤ “oxygen, mold… ew. vampires??? who the hell picked toes??? you win💀”

it was deuce’s card. he politely took it and placed it in his score deck, determined for the next round. see, cater went with the most funniest since none of these went with the topic at all, but he never expected deuce to be the one to put it down. trey or ace maybe but never deuce😭. deuce received owlish stares for a few moments, trey wasn’t even smiling anymore😦. it wouldn’t have bothered them if it wasn’t for the fact that deuce had been racking up points for the last SEVEN ROUNDS. the others had their points but just how many did deuce have…

“deuce, do you chew toes? •_•꧞” — a.t

“no? that was the only card that was the best one, unless you wanted me to put down keanu reeves..” — d.s

“john wick?” — c.d

“just how many green cards do you have, deuce?” — t.c

“seven.” — d.s

“you’re kidding. deuce had already won TWO rounds ago????>:[“ — r.r

everyone was so caught up in their own little rivalry, no one noticed that deuce had already earned over 5 points😭

“why didn’t you say anything man?!” — a.t

“i’ve never played before, i didn’t know the limit was five!” — d.s

“you’ve never played!?” — c.d

“damn, we’ve been beaten by an amateur..” — t.c

“quiet, all of you!” — r.r

SAVANACLAW + IGNIHYDE

ortho’s the youngest, he’s up!

ortho’s word choice: inspirational.

ORTHO’S MINDSET

╰┈➤ only chose this because the other word was ugly and ruggie would most likely make a mean comment. ortho’s also glad it was his turn and nobody else got the card, it would’ve started chaos. honestly, jack looks like he might combust, its concerning… half of the answers weren’t sticking to the topic but he can admit, they were actually really funny

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

LEONA

you kidding? half of the time he barely knows what happening just like he’s half asleep. ruggie has to keep reminding his ass to pick up cards. however, the only thing keeping him partly awake is idia’s little remarks every time ortho picks leona’s card over idia’s. fiery bastard.

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

IDIA

stupid leona and his stupid smart cards. he bet thawmarks on who wins this match; if ortho or himself win, 3000 tm for idia. if jack or ruggie win that’s 3000 tm for leona. hell, he even found himself slightly warming the corners of his red cards so ortho knows who’s it is. this point is idia’s.

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

RUGGIE

more laid back about the game lowk, he helps jack from time to time, basically the baby sitter. also has to watch his potty mouth or idia will be on his ass😞 even then, he’s still in the lead with four exquisite points. one more point and he can cash out on sunflower seeds from ortho, yippee🥳

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

JACK

the most focused yet most expressive (its his ears & tail). his tail wags subtly when he gains a point and his ears deflate slightly when he doesn’t KRKSKNKS :( every card he puts down are with confidence! jack only hopes that he’s playing his cards right. he’s not getting anything for winning but hey, new memories with friends are good. even if your teammates are at each other’s throats…

ortho’s shuffled the red cards, the point winner is…

ORTHO’S CHOICE

╰┈➤ “teachers, viral videos, getting a hug aw…… i don’t even know how to say that—“

ortho turns the red card towards jack for help, jack’s ears pinning back moderately as he read. “guacamole??” “oh” he’s trying his best :[. idia jabbed ruggie with his elbow for snorting which had him wheezing instead. maybe it was a little machine glitch but ortho genuinely didn’t know how to pronounce the word, he did giggle a bit at his own mistake.

“i was gonna say gudetama…” — o.s

“you were close, ortho…” — i.s

“i mean, its a start. gwaa - kuh - mow - lee” — j.h

“gwaa kuh mow lee… guacamole!” — o.s

“teacher jack!” — r.b

“how pure.” — l.k

ortho looked over the cards again with creases between his brows. “who put down teachers? i pick you!” “thaaaank you,” leona plucks the green card from ortho and places it in his deck, a small grin as he pushes it forward. “and that’s game.”

“YOU put down teachers?!” — i.s

“i did.” — l.k

“good game!” — j.h

“that was fun!! :D” — o.s

“damn it, if only ortho knew what guacamole was!” — r.b

“seems like he needs an update.” — l.k

“shut your mouth.” — i.s

[2treez]

ADVICE FROM OLD PEOPLE

1 The most important person in your life is the person who agreed to share their life with you. Treat them as such.

2 You might live a long life, or you might live a short one — who knows. But either way, trust me when I say that you’re going to wish you took better care of yourself in your youth.

3 Stuff is just stuff. Don’t hold onto material objects, hold onto time and experiences instead.

4 Jealousy destroys relationships. Trust your significant other, because who else are you supposed to trust?

5 People always say, “Make sure you get a job doing what you love!” But that isn’t the best advice. The right job is the job you love some days, can tolerate most days, and still pays the bills. Almost nobody has a job they love every day.

6 If you’re getting overwhelmed by life, just return to the immediate present moment and savour all that is beautiful and comforting. Take a deep breath, relax.

7 Years go by in the blink of an eye. Don’t marry young. Live your life. Go places. Do things. If you have the means or not. Pack a bag and go wherever you can afford to go. While you have no dependents, don’t buy stuff. Any stuff. See the world. Look through travel magazines and pick a spot. GO!

8 Don’t take life so seriously. Even if things seem dark and hopeless, try to laugh at how ridiculous life is.

9 A true friend will come running if you call them at 2am. Everyone else is just an acquaintance.

10 Children grow up way too fast. Make the most of the time you have with them.

11 Nobody ever dies wishing they had worked more. Work hard, but don’t prioritize work over family, friends, or even yourself.

12 Eat and exercise like you’re a diabetic heart patient with a stroke — so you never actually become one.

13. Maybe this one isn’t as profound as the others, but I think it’s important… Floss regularly, dental problems are awful.

14. Don’t take anyone else’s advice as gospel. You can ask for advice from someone you respect, then take your situation into consideration and make your own decision. Essentially, take your own advice is my advice…

15. The joints you damage today will get their revenge later. Even if you think they’ve recovered completely. TRUST ME!

16. We have one time on this earth. Don’t wake up and realize that you are 60 years old and haven’t done the things you dreamed about.

17. Appreciate the small things and to be present in the moment. What do I mean? Well, it seems today like younger people are all about immediate gratification. Instead, why not appreciate every small moment? We don’t get to stay on this crazy/wonderful planet forever and the greatest pleasure can be found in the most mundane of activities. Instead of sending a text, pick up the phone and call someone. Call your mother, have a conversation about nothing in particular. Those are the moments to hold onto.

18. Pay your bills and stay the hell out of debt. If I could have paid myself all the money I’ve paid out in interest over the years, I’d be retired already.

19. If you have a dream of being or doing something that seems impossible, try for it anyway. It will only become more impossible as you age and become responsible for other people.

And finally, the last piece of advice:

20. When you meet someone for the first time, stop and realize that you really know nothing about them. You see race, gender, age, clothes. Forget it all. You know nothing. Those biased assumptions that pop into your head because of the way your brain likes categories, are limiting your life, and other people’s lives.

🌳🫶🏼🌳

-CTTO

[berrypass-de-murdler]

2 - 5 Death on the Low Seas

Things are... very difficult internally but this series is keeping me going somewhat, so I'm still at it lol

Ngl limiting myself to one case a day is slightly torture but it helps me focus on writing and I look forward to it every night

um... I'm just looking for people to talk to (not even to vent necessarily, I also love to rant about murdle and I just need company) so if anyone is willing to reach out, that would help a lot <3

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

Logico takes a boat to the Violet Isles - with, of course, Admiral Navy as the captain. 

LOGICO: I guess I should be used to these teleporting suspects by now.

Some others are headed to the isles as well, namely the Duchess of Vermillion and 

U. MIDNIGHT: UNCLE MIDNIIIIIGHT!!

He picks up and noogies Logico.

LOGICO: I HATE YOU SO MUCH!! DUCHESS: My diamond is missing a necklace. I mean, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!  LOGICO: FINE, I’ll look for it… although it’s not the most engaging mystery in the world.

First, Logico stumbles across the deck. No diamonds there! But there is the least threatening Midnight.

U. MIDNIGHT: Heheuhueh, I can see my house from here! LOGICO: That’s not YOUR house! That’s the VIOLET MANOR!  NAVY: No… we’re not there yet either.

Benjamin is leaning so far over the edge, Logico so badly wants to push him into the ocean. But he has a job to do.

DUCHESS: Found my diamond yet? LOGICO: NO, I’m still LOOKING. 

He gets a text from Irratino. “You never find a railing without a piece of dead fish.” He stares at it for a long time and firmly believes that these messages no longer have any meaning. 

DUCHESS: WHILE he’s busy… [encroaches on Navy] what are you up to after… suppertime? NAVY: Um… DUCHESS: [creepily massages his shoulders] What say we try something new for dessert?  NAVY: UM…

She entwines her tail with his. He gets so uncomfortable, he jumps overboard! AGAIN! Thank goodness he’s rescued by an adorable shark. 

U. MIDNIGHT: Pffffffhuhuhuhuh. He’s like, a seal, and he can’t even swim! LOGICO: You didn’t happen to find a diamond in the water, per chance? NAVY: [coughs up a sardine] No…

Logico takes him to the bedroom to lie down. Above the bed, there’s a painting of a nightmarish deer-like creature, stained with fear.

NAVY: Lord Violet.  LOGICO: N- THAT’S Lord Violet? NAVY: Yes… he once had a butler who was his best friend, whom he’d do anything for. But one day, that butler was murdered. Lord Violet took it upon himself to find the murderer… LOGICO: What happened? NAVY: He tracked down the killer for a month, until he finally found their location. And when he did, he speared them alive with his horns.

Logico tenses. That seems weirdly gruesome, even though he faces crimes just as bad on a literal daily basis. There’s no time to think about that, though, because he found the Duchess’ lost diamond! Except it’s right on top of a body…

LOGICO: I knew there couldn’t be a trip without a murder! DUCHESS!!! DUCHESS: UGH!! That bitch tried to expose my affair with Admiral Navy, I HAD to kill them! Now thanks to you, Deductive Logico, it will be revealed anyway! Therefore, I GO! 

She jumps into the ocean (man, it’s happening a lot). Being the queen of fish, she disappears into the deep. I wonder if she’ll find Dr. Crimson?

LOGICO: Like she even needed a boat in the first place!

Ben and Navy are distracted, because they’re finally approaching Violet Manor. It’s a gorgeous, intimidating silhouette in the fog, just right for a dramatic reveal. The three stare, mesmerized… Then Uncle Midnight vomits over the edge. (Alcohol poisoning.)

The end!

The murdle rp is so funny help they all look so stupid

It's like gacha but worse

Maybe it's not worse. I can't tell anymore

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[thehubby]

Introducing Dextra

Like many gamers, it has long been a goal of mine to develop and publish my own game, to add a minute something to the fabric of our culture, but especially to the hobby which I have enjoyed for a very long time. At long last, through a confluence of self-determination, assistance from friends, and an environment more friendly to independent publishing than any yet, the time for that dream is now. It gives me great pleasure to introduce you to the my first role-playing game, Dextra.

What is Dextra? It is a very rules-light narrative-focused tabletop RPG. It is designed for players who are most interested in a game system that helps them structure telling stories, not crunching numbers and trying to figure out optimal builds. In fact, telling a good story is the only objective and "win" condition in Dextra. Even if the land is ravished, the villain escapes and the heroes perish, if the table tells a satisfying tale, the table wins.

How does Dextra play? Dextra is designed for casual players (even if they do take their stories very seriously!), and is intended to address one of the biggest problems I personally have had with tabletop gaming over the years: rules bloat and accessibility. There is only one hard rule in Dextra: every facet of the game (including contributions of the players) must be subservient to the story at hand. Between the 15 pages of basic guidelines and 65 pages of support materials, there are many recommendations of how to proceed, but you are free and encouraged to ignore any and all of them as befits your need to tell the story.

There are no lists of classes, powers, equipment and such in Dextra, no codified character abilities, spells, races or anything else. It is a game truly limited only by the imagination of the players at the table. But you need not worry about your fellow players abusing this potential to create overpowered monstrosities, because they don't make their own characters. Each player provides a name and class -- any class, from fighter to fae emissary, wizard to werewolf hunter -- and character sheets are passed around the table where everyone else gives them the attributes, powers and abilities, equipment and items, and traits and quirks that make them who they are. It's a little like Mad Libs, except instead of dubiously entertaining jibberish, you're likely to end up with something cool like an Infernal Bloodline, a Ruggedness ability score, or Spear of Lightning.

Taking actions and overcoming challenges is done using 2d6 (two six-sided dice for any newcomers out there), adding the character elements that the player feels are appropriate to their roll, and comparing it to a predetermined difficulty that the Game Master establishes for the action. GMs don't need to look up any tables; they simply estimate the difficulty of an action (assuming it is one that carries a risk of failure at all) from 1 to 10, and add 5. There are guidelines for combat, hit points, character conditions and so on if desired, but Dextra does not contain realistic or complicated battle mechanics. If that's your jam, this may not be for you.

Is Dextra free? No, it is not free. Yes, it is. Though It took nearly a year to conceive, write, edit, format and ultimately publish the game, and I believe in fair compensation for myself just as for any other writer or creator, the market spoke after release and I determined it is more important to me that people be able to play the games I create than an occasional payout. Dextra and all of my other published games are free.

Where can I get it? Dextra is currently offered at Itch.io (link provided). It should be published on DriveThruRPG (link provided) sometime within the next three days after their review and approval. It is currently only available as a digital PDF download (preparing print-on-demand copies involves some software and expertise I do not currently possess). If you wish to obtain a copy of the game and have a preference between these two sites, by all means go with that. If you have no preference, then my recommendation is Itch.io, as they not only take a smaller cut of the sale, but have more features available (such as complimentary community copies and easier means to send free codes to users).

Where can I get more information? If you have questions about the game, send me an Ask on the Dextra-RPG Tumblr account. You can also check or follow that account for occasional posts of information and to find out how you can contribute to a crowd-sourced character creation project to be offered as a free download to potential players.

[elftwink]

been learning to play ironsworn (gritty fantasy ttrpg which you can play with a gm but is mostly suited for solo or small group co-op gmless play) after having the rulebook pdf for several years (stars finally aligned to remove invisible thing blocking me from reading it idk) because i'm on another solo ttrpg kick & i don't know what took me so long to get around to this game because it genuinely is exactly what i was looking for. years ago when i was playing through solo 5e modules i should have just been playing ironsworn (believe it or not, 5e isn't very suited to solo play and is extremely clunky when you try lol).

also though i have dabbled in some other solo ttrpgs, a considerable amount of them are journaling games which is fun but imo considerably more work (usually by the time i'm a quarter of the way through the journal entry, i know how to entire scene played out and i want to move on to the next gameplay thing, so i get frustrated and bored quickly. it feels like when you solve a level in a video game but don't have the coordination to pull off the necessary move so you have to spend 20 extra minutes doing something you already figured out), so i really appreciate like not needing to write something for the game to progress (ive been taking notes for my own record since im playing solo and thus am not really out loud roleplaying the way you do in a group, but i definitely could do that instead and not take notes and the game would still function perfectly)

& ive been playing by myself but also in the past ive played a lot of ttrpgs in very small groups which has been other games but is mostly dnd and like. we also should have been playing ironsworn so that having a gm was not necessary. have definitely played games where we had to adapt the rules soooo much to do something that is just base game included in ironsworn. plus it's rules-light enough to do pretty complex moves that pose difficulties in bulkier games (ever introduced someone to dnd and they tell you they want to do a sick backflip and catch something and then attack and you have to tell them that will require several different consecutive rolls and some creative liberties with how the rules are 'supposed' to let you move? you can just Do That in ironsworn. use the strike move and describe it. done!)

the one thing is that although it's rules-light enough to theoretically play any setting or genre (some with more difficulty than others), ive found so far that like... the grittiness and sense of threat is very built into the mechanics so that would be sort of difficult to work around or change (but i think it's great from a game design perspective). what i mean is like, okay: you start with 5 max hp. there isn't really a way to raise this max hp, you just slowly gain abilities (assets) that make you less likely to have to lose the hp in the first place, or that make it easier to recover. when you encounter foes, you rank them on a scale of 1 -5, and enemies on the lowest side of this scale do one harm to you, while enemies on the highest side do five harm to you. so even though encountering an epic enemy won't always be deadly due to the assets you have, they are ALWAYS capable of taking you down to 0 hp with one good hit. so the feeling of threat is much more present compared to games where your character starts to be able to just tank and push through a failure or huge threat.

admittedly also i'm playing solo, im still learning how to balance combat, and also i built a character who has NO combat talents and iron (the close quarters fighting stat) is one of my lowest stats so i personally am under much more threat than if you built a character who knew how to fight or who could do deadly harm. but also the other thing about combat is it's extremely difficult to maintain control of the fight; you have to score a strong hit to do it on basically all moves, and there's a really limited pool of moves available when you don't have the initiative, and obviously none of them really favour you. i don't know that this makes combat genuinely more difficult, but it does make you feel like the fight is always about to spiral out of your control. every second you let it drag without decisive action feels like it brings you closer to dying. like i said, this is a feature of the game design and not a problem in any way. just thinking about it because when i was initially learning i was going to try to supplant it into a homebrew fantasy world of my own but the tone just wouldn't be right. and that it is somewhat difficult to replicate the kind of worlds that i typically play or run for dnd, which tend to lean somewhat sillier and definitely much higher fantasy

but i like to try new things and tbh especially in dnd i find that i very rarely feel that sense of threat and when i do feel it, it has nothing at all to do with the actual mechanics and reality of the combat and everything to do with how well the dm sells it to me and makes it sound and feel scary and dangerous. which is a testament to what a good gm can do for you but i do appreciate the threat feeling more built-in and also being actually real.

[parcy-anda-but-with-actual-posts]

Okay, so first time in a long time tackling a monthly challenge, I'll go ahead and make cumulative weekly posts here for Smaugust (2024). Just having fun, not trying to impress anyone, but I also want a convenient place to come back to it. =v=; General Warning: Creativity is not my strong suit, but I've tried not to be too predictable.

Day 1: Fruit — A scorpion pepper dragon. Peppers are fruits, technically, but I tried to mix it up by having this dragon be super chill, or at least lazy. It's content to be left to its naps as it overheats easily in its hot, arid environment, being more active at night, and even then, not too active. XD I can expand on lore for this, but keeping things simple for now.

Day 2: Ash — medieval/monk illustration inspired, apologies

For this one, I took a photo of the ash tree out front, and used its outline to create a cloud-breathing false hydra of sorts. Sad hypothetical story time: in reality, this is a mass of separate serpents all coiled up together and spewing thick vapors to obscure what lies at its center. These are the various children of an immortal great mother serpent, of whom all that remains is her head. They wouldn't leave her behind, and their home has decidedly not been safe since the incident; they carry her with them everywhere, hiding in misty places and masquerading as a large tree.

Day 3: Storm — I defaulted to scenic, because design on the word storm alone, I was really struggling with. Have a storm drake-like thing. ^^' I created pale yellow glows that shone through and lit up surrounding foliage as it stalks and prepares to attack something. I also let the colors that come to mind with dark clouds and stormy nights take this thing over completely. Fun experiment. C'X

Day 4+5: Fossil+Hybrid — this doesn't bode well, having to combine to make up for lost days this early. >v<; Here, though, have the unholy spawn of anatomically-somewhat-accurate Aerodactyl and the proportions and vibe of an Azhdarchid. I adore these pterosaurs on an aesthetic and imaginative level... would just about wet myself in fear if faced with one. Maybe someday I'll come back to prompts like this and actually put some respectable time into posing and rendering, but for now, just quick ideas for fun. :3

Day 6: Mist — WHOOPS, I missed one - adding this one in belatedly, but it was done on time... might have overlooked this because it really was thrown together in a hurry, and highly self-indulgent. Like, more than most of these. ^^' Have a cotton ball mass of dragon that curiously rolls up on little towns at pre-sunrise hours, especially at the base of mountains. It's a lazy and harmless enough creature, but it has a way of scaring little ones sh*tless, just the same. The sun rays coming through don't hurt it, luckily, but it does add to the "be not afraid" vibes. X'D

Day 7: Striped —Along with nostalgic inspiration of a friend's character, I based this one on a Cheshire Cat vibe, spiraling shapes vaguely snuck in. I'm still having much too much fun with the rough wash brush... but that's what I've decided to do this whole month, is have fun. ^^ Hopefully you're having a nice day!

Each week will be a different post, since the 30 image limit leaves us just shy of fitting the challenge into one post. >v<; See Week 2, if you like! (or Week 3, or 4, for that matter!)

[fluffysourpatch]

His little cherub

Copia x Child Daugther!Oc

// Words 3043 //

Warnings: beginning angst but then pure fluff! Copia a loving father to his little daugther!.

Copia looked up from the mountain of paperwork on his desk, picking up his cup of coffee and taking a sip before speaking. "Come in." He calls out to the person behind the door, putting down his pen and leaning back in his chair, fixing his posture and combing his fingers through his hair to appear more presentable.

inside came Gigi his only daughter 5 years old who he adopted. “Daddy? Can we play?” she asked him but Copia has a lot of duties to do

Copia sighed, but smiled softly. “Maybe tomorrow, kiddo.” He answered, ruffling her hair. “Go play with your toys for now, okay?” Copia looked over his papers again, before leaning back in his chair. It seemed his little girl always knew exactly when he was busy.

“But I wanna play with you!” she stomped her feet

Copia looked up from his paper, looking toward Gigi. “My child, I wish for nothing more than to give you all of my attention, but I still have work to do!” He sighed in exasperation. “Please, do me a kindness and play with your dolls, or your crayons, or anything else; I promise I will play with you when I have time…” Copia said, his frustration melting as he saw Gigi’s frown. “Please, Gigi, be a good child.”

“But to play with my dolls is boring! They won't response! she exclaimed and stomped her feet again I wanna play with you!” her frown turns into anger.

Copia let out an aggravated sigh. “Mia cara, Gigi… I know you wish to play with me, but I am too busy… if this were any other day then I could play with you, but I need to finish this pile of paperwork so I might get to bed at a reasonable hour. Please, I am only asking that you play with your toys for now.” Copia said, trying his best to appear stern and firm.

Gigi walks up to him and took some pen from the desk as she threw it at him angrily “NO I WANNA PLAY!” she yells but the pen didn´t hit Copia.

Copia sighed quietly, rubbing his temples. This was getting annoying. “Il mio bambino, please do not make this difficult. I just need you to play with your toys for a moment. I need to do my work… please, just wait for me. I promise I’ll play a little later…” Copia said, his tone more tired than annoyed this time.

“But I wanna play with you!!” she yells again and starts to hit the desk. Copia’s patience was beginning to wear thin. This had gone on for long enough. Gigi was going to learn how hard work was, and that he just couldn’t always get his way whenever he wished. “Bambino, this behavior is unacceptable. Play with your toys, and learn to be patient because I cannot…” he paused for a moment, realizing he didn’t want to yell at this sweet little girl, but she certainly wouldn’t listen if he didn’t. “I cannot play with you right now.” Copia said sternly.

and then she pushed Copia to his limit as she went up to him and kicked his leg angrily.

“Gigi, stop this instant!” Copia shouted, his voice loud for the first time today. “I have to finish this paperwork, and I cannot do that if you continually distract me and beg me for playtime. Do I make myself clear? Please, mia cara, stop this behavior. I cannot play with you right now, and you must learn to respect that, to be patient and accepting of the situation. What is it that I must do…” Copia trailed off, shaking his head angrily and trying to regain his composure. Gigi jumped as his voice raised against her, never in her life did he scream at her or lost his patience with her. Her eyes widened and took a step back. Copia took a deep breath, realizing that he was scaring his little girl. He sighed, rubbing the side of his face and smiling softly. “Tesoro, I am so very sorry for yelling, I am just… tired, and I need to get done this paperwork. You must play with your toys until I have enough time to play with you, as I promised. Will you promise me this?” Copia said, kneeling down next to Gigi. but she didn´t listened to Copia, she turned around to run out of the office without a word. Copia sighed, looking toward the door. “Gigi, come back here, please. Mi dispiace Tesoro…” Copia sighed again, looking out the window before looking at the papers in front of him once more. “Oh dear…” he muttered to himself silently.

As Gigi was running away from the office, she run the hallway and reached a door she knocked fast without stopping.

Sodo let out a sigh as he heard the door knock. He rose from his desk and opened the door, seeing Gigi standing there. “Hello, little one.” He said softly. “Is everything alright?” Sodo looked puzzled.

she shook her head as tears are spilling from her eyes “daddy screamed at me!” she sobs trying to wipe her tears with her tiny hands.

Sodo put his hand on Gigi's shoulder, taking a moment to crouch down and speak to her at her level. "Sweetie, did you know that your daddy was working? He is very busy right now and doesn't have time to play with you right now, however, he still loves you very much. Maybe he yelled at you because he's just stressed out right now, and he's still adjusting to his job." Sodo says, trying to comfort the young girl.

“But I wanted to play with him... “she cries “he didn’t play with me a long time ago... I miss papa” she sobs

Sodo sighs, standing up taking Gigi in his arms. “Darling, you can’t play with Papa right this moment… but I can. And it’ll be like having a big brother for a while. I’ll play with you until it’s time for you and your papa to go to bed, okay sweetie? Is that okay with you?” Sodo asked her, smiling gently.

She nods at him with tears in her face as she smiles at him and giggles plus cries the same time. “We can play together?” She asked him again wanting to know if he really wants to play with her.

“Of course, we can, sweetheart! Let’s play with the dolls over here, alright?” Sodo said, walking toward a toybox on the other side of the room because sometimes Gigi always left her dolls at Sodo’s room so he made a box to put them inside. “I wonder which doll you’re going to pick…” he muttered to himself as he began opening the box and picking out the toy. He smiled softly before giving Gigi a hug and turning around, waiting for her to grab a doll, any doll.

Sodo smiled as he watched Gigi take a doll from the box. “Which doll did you pick?” Sodo asked, crouching down next to the youngster as she shows him which doll she picked, as he is speaking at her own level again. “Let’s start playing!” he said, his tone cheerful.

she giggles and starts to play with Sodo

Sodo picked up the other doll as well, speaking with a sweet, high-pitched voice as he started playing with Gigi. He would mimic her and her doll’s voices to add to the game; he always enjoyed entertaining children, and he was especially close to Gigi. He always wanted her to have the best childhood, even if it meant helping out to relieve her father from a bit of his stress.

after some playing Gigi fall asleep on Sodo’s bed with the doll in her hand

Sodo let out a soft chuckle at the sight of Gigi sleeping. She was absolutely adorable when she slept. Sodo made sure to tuck Gigi in for the evening, smiling softly as he adjusted the blanket. "Sleep well, my little lamb.", Sodo whispered to the young girl.

Copia stepped into the room, still in his robes, and saw Gigi sleeping peacefully in Sodo's arms. He cleared his throat. "Hello, Sodo." Copia said calmly, approaching both Gigi and his Ghoul "Oh, lord..." Copia muttered, watching both Gigi and Sodo interacting in the room. "Is she...? Did something happen?" He asked the question of Sodo, his expression a mix of bewilderment, concern, and anxiety.

Sodo looked up at Copia, smiling softly as he held Gigi protectively. "No, it's quite alright, Copia. She came crying to me, so I took her into my room for a little while. She had said you yelled at her." Sodo answered, his tone gentle and warm. He looked over at Gigi calmly.

Copia nodded silently, feeling even more concern wash through him as he watched Sodo gently rocking Gigi in his arms. With a heavy sigh, he stepped forward and looked down at his daughter, touching a strand of her hair that was falling on her face. "mio piccolo amore," Copia said softly, touching Gigi's cheek. He looked up at Sodo. "Mi dispiace tanto, Sodo." Copia said, his tone soft and worried.

Copia continued to stare at Gigi, his expression one of sadness, guilt, and remorse. He turned to Sodo, who gently patted Gigi's head as she slept. "Grazie Sodo. Please, take good care of her, won't you?", Copia said softly. He then turned to Gigi carefully, gently kissing her forehead. "I am sorry for yelling at you, Gigi. I am so sorry... ti amo mio piccolo angelo"

the next morning, Gigi woke up to Sodo’s bed alone. Gigi sat up slowly in Sodo's bed, feeling slightly confused. She knew she remembered playing with Sodo, but he wasn't in the room anymore. She looked around, feeling slightly alone and slightly scared. Where was Sodo? Where was her papa?

She tried to remember exactly why she had been in Sodo's room in the first place. She knew he was playing with her, but her memory felt fuzzy. Did she remember what happened yesterday? Was her papa mad at her? She couldn't remember.

she stood up and walked with her little legs out of the room. She went to the dining room where the sisters of sin were serving the food for the ghouls. There she saw Copia “daddy!” she came running to him

Copia was eating a light breakfast with one of the Ghouls. He smiled gently as he saw Gigi run toward him. He got up from his chair and picked her up, giving her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Good morning, la mia piccola colomba.” Copia said, his tone full of the affection that was always there when it came to Gigi. “Did you have a good time with Sodo last night?” he asked her.

“Yes, we played together and had lots of fun!” she giggled and hugs him tight with her arms and legs around “I miss you daddy...” she whispers to him as she hides her face at his neck.

Copia felt warm inside as he felt Gigi hug him. He gently ran his fingers through her hair, smiling at her. “I am so glad you had the joy of spending time with your uncle last night, my little Tesoro, I am sorry I have not been able to spend a lot of time with you the past few months, I am simply so busy.” Copia said, his tone soft.

He then lifted Gigi up a bit, and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I promise, though, that once I finish some paperwork, we can play some more Si?”

“But when are you finished?” she asked sadly “I can’t wait anymore papa...”

Copia held Gigi close, smiling softly as he felt her hugging him tightly. "Colomba, I should be finished by lunch time Si? Will that be okay with you?" Copia said, his tone soft and gentle. "Do you think you can wait just a bit longer? Please." he said, looking into Gigi's eyes.

“C-can I stay with you then while you work?... I promise I will be quiet... “she booped her nose with his nose while looking at him

Copia’s expression softened as Gigi booped noses with him. The young girl was utterly adorable, and despite how busy he was, Copia couldn’t help but melt with each gesture of affection.

“Of course, Tesoro” he said softly, “and you don't need to promise; you’re always such a good little girl, it’s one of the things I am proud of most.” Copia said, his love and affection flowing through his sweet words.

Copia chuckled as he felt Gigi’s stomach growl. “Ah, it seems you must be quite hungry. Let us go see if the sisters are done cooking your food.” Copia said, carrying Gigi as he turned around to walk out of the room. As he walked away, he placed a kiss on Gigi’s forehead; a sweet gesture he had never done with any other child.

after they ate, they went to his office. Copia was doing his paperwork and Gigi was playing or drawing silently beside him, sometimes between drawing she reaches for his hand to hold it for some Minutes.

Copia sighed as he looked back over at his papers, focusing on his work again. Then he felt Gigi’s hand sneaking with his, he smiles softly and squeezes her hand.

As he looked down at the papers in front of him, feeling a bit of guilt wash over him. Gigi was only looking for his attention; she was only a little girl. She wanted to play, she wanted to be loved, she wanted him to be proud of her. “Hmm…” Copia spoke out loud, thinking. He set down his pen and put the papers in front of him to the side.

Gigi was drawing her and papa in a picture holding hands as they do right now. She looks up at him and then asked softly “can I sit on your lap daddy? O-or... Is it distracting you from work...?”

Copia smiled gently, his eyes warming at the scene of Gigi drawing him and her together. He reached down and picked Gigi up to sit her in his lap, kissing her gently. "Of course, you can." he said softly, "This is the best part of my day, having my beautiful little girl in my lap." Copia brushed back Gigi's hair, and spoke to her as he looked at what she was drawing. "And whatever you are drawing must be so beautiful. Can I see it when you are done?" She hums a quiet yes as she continues drawing and waggling with her tiny legs

Copia nodded gently, smiling as he felt her weight in his lap, and felt Gigi humming softly, probably in content. He looked down to check out what Gigi was doing, still watching her draw. “Hey, Gigi? I am proud of you.” he said softly, his voice warm and full of affection.

“You are?” she said as her eyes sparkle, “I am also proud of you daddy!” she giggles

“Why, yes. Of course, love. You are the most important thing in my life, my little cherub. And every tiny accomplishment you make, makes me the proudest papa in the world, do you hear me?” Copia said softly, his eyes sparkling as he spoke. He brushed her hair away from her face, his fingers gently brushing past her cheeks, “And what about this? Eh? You said you were proud of me, too. Why would you say that?” he asked, looking down at Gigi.

“Uhm... Because you work very hard... You work hard for me, for the people who loves you outside... Uhm what where they called... Fans”

"Ohh, yes, mio piccolo amore. That's correct! Fans. And yes, I do work for them. But I work hard for you, too. You are my most precious thing, and I do everything in my power to protect you, and make you happy. Ti amo, Gigi." Copia said softly, his smile as warm as always. He gently stroked her hair again, letting the warmth from his touch comfort the young girl.

After that Copia continues to work on his papers and Gigi on her drawing still sitting on his lap.

Copia sighed and picked up Gigi from his lap. "Tesoro It's time for you to go to bed," he said softly. Gigi looked at him for a moment, a tiny frown on her face. "...But papa... I wanna spend more time with you." she said, her tone sounding almost pleading. Copia looked at her a moment, smiling softly, "Come. Let me take you to bed." He said, gently, taking Gigi back to her room. As they arrived, he laid her down on her bed, putting the blanket over her and rests his hand on her forehead smiling.

Gigi glanced at him with her happy smile as she asked him “Can you stay with me? And read me a bedtime story? Please?” Copia smiled softly at Gigi's request, nodding slowly. "Si, Tesoro. I can stay with you tonight, and if you'd like, I can even read you a bedtime story." He said, kissing her cheek.

Copia read Gigi her favorite bedtime story as she hugged him tightly to her. It was a story of a king who loved his daughter deeply and took her hunting, to share in his favorite past time with her. Copia smiled as he read, looking down at Gigi as they cuddled closely to him. She was precious, more precious than anything in the world to him, and he was so happy she was his little angel.

Eventually, though, Gigi's eyes began to flutter with sleep. She looked up at Copia one last time, her face showing her love for him. And then, she fell asleep

Copia looked down at Gigi as her eyes closed. He gently set her down on her pillow, her small frame buried underneath the covers of the bed. Copia leaned down and kissed her forehead, his expression full of love and affection.

“buonanotte mio piccolo tesoro prezioso.” Copia whispered softly, turning off the light in the room before closing the door, leaving little Gigi to happily sleep.

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Hii! I always wanted to write a Copia with his daughter story! and well here I am! i hope you like it and i hope the Italian words are not wrong! whoops it would be embarrassed if they are not correct. sorryyy! :p

If you want a Part Two, leave a comment! :) <3