#this took so long bc i couldn't decide who to write for LMAO but then i Wondered

[ariestrxsh]

🖤 content warning: 🖤 smut, heavy step sibling kink, brutal face fucking, breath play, dacryphilia, degradation, humiliation, light praise, roughdom!stepbro!chris, bratty!stepsis!reader

🖤 author's note: 🖤 this is not incest!!! the characters are step siblings. i'm aware that it's still morally grey for some people. totally get it. if you don't like the concept, don't read it bc it will literally be impossible for you to forget they're step siblings. 😭 i just need rough dom stepbro chris more than i need air in my lungs. (this joke will be even funnier to you after you read this fic if you do.) and last thing: sorry x100 for writing this lmao. and a super big sorry to anyone who's on my taglist who didn't wanna read this.

🖤 summary: 🖤 after arguing about whose turn it is to do the dishes, you and your step-brother chris decide to have a breath-holding contest, but there's only one way chris can be sure that you're playing fair.

holdyourbreath

"So, are you going to do the dishes before my dad and your mom get home?" Your eyes darted up at Chris, your disgusting new step brother, from across the room while you were curled up on the living room floor next to the dim lamp with a warm blanket and a good book.

"Are you fuckin' with me, kid? I thought it was your turn to do the dishes," Chris replied smugly, glaring at you from his gaming chair as he sat in front of the TV, mindlessly playing some dumb Modern Warfare whatever number they're on now.

"I did them last night," you responded defensively, your voice becoming shrill. "Yeah, and I did them two nights in a row before that. What's the big deal?" Chris snapped back, rolling his eyes at how whiny you were.

You resented how hard-headed he was, especially because you were hard-headed, and there was only room for one stubborn person in this house.

His mom had met your dad about six months prior and three months into knowing each other, they eloped, and now you were stuck living under someone else's roof with an obnoxious, gross, smug step brother who never carried his weight around the place and made everything everyone else's problem.

You weren't the type of person to use the word hate lightly, but you hated Chris.

"Chris, can you please just do the dishes? I'm busy. I'm right about to reach the climax in this book," you responded in an agitated and slightly desperate tone. "Well, I'm busy, too. I'm about to go climax after this game," Chris chuckled at your word choice.

"Ugh, you're disgusting!" You slammed your book shut, shooting him a look of contempt. "Sorry, princess. Did I ruin your climax?" Chris smirked, motioning towards your book and biting his lip.

You almost got up and just did the dishes yourself, because you knew they needed to be done, and despite how much you didn't want it to be true, Chris was perhaps, even more hard-headed than you, but you had an idea.

"Let's settle this like adults. Breath holding contest. Whoever holds their breath the longest doesn't have to do the dishes tonight," you suggested, and Chris gave you a look like you'd given him an offer he couldn't refuse.

You and Chris were both competitive, and contests were often the only effective way to settle arguments between the two of you. Sometimes it would be rock, paper, scissors. Or a staring contest. Or a one-on-one game of basketball. Anything you guys could turn into a competition really.

"Deal," Chris confidently responded, pausing his game and spinning around in his chair until he was facing you. "Okay, on the count of three," you said, setting a stopwatch on your phone, and the two of you both took in a deep inhale before holding your breath as long as you could.

You and Chris stared directly at each other, giving each other dirty looks and sizing each other up, both trying to gain dominance over the other. You didn't really care to stay true to the game and play fair. When you started running out of air, you slowly exhaled through your nose, cycling your breath and hoping Chris wouldn't catch on.

You couldn't let that smug bastard win. After all, it was his turn to do the dishes, and your book was way more important than his stupid video games.

After the stopwatch hit a minute and a forty-five seconds, Chris' face was turning a bit red. He pinched his eyebrows together and scrunched his nose at you in a look of displeasure, and after about fifteen more seconds of this, Chris let out a long, angry exhale. "Fuck you, you're cheating!" He accused you.

"I am not!" You snarked back, but the way your voice naturally raised an octave or two had even you unconvinced of your own lie. "Bitch, you didn't even breathe out before you said that. And you don't look or sound out of breath at all," Chris replied, narrowing his eyes at you and clenching his jaw.

"I wasn't cheating," you said, avoiding eye contact. "You were, and I can prove it," Chris licked his lips maliciously and grinned at you. "You can prove it?" You said in a skeptical tone, testing him. Chris stood up, slowly sauntered over to you while you were still sitting on the ground.

He peered down at you with a darkness in his eyes as he started unfastening his belt and unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. "What the fuck are you doing?" You asked, glaring up at him, but your eyes fell and widened when he pulled out his big, juicy dick. It was already hard and the tip was swollen and shiny with a layer of precum.

Conveniently for Chris, your jaw dropped as you studied the way his veins webbed out across the backside of his shaft, and he took this opportunity to grab onto the back of your head and shove his throbbing cock into your gaping mouth. He let out a satisfied exhale and his eyes gently rolled back as he relished in the wet warmth you provided for him.

He held your head in place and forced every inch down your throat until you could feel the hem of his shirt tickling your nose. He reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone, and he opened the stopwatch function on it. He then placed it into your trembling hand.

"You're gonna hold this for me, you fucking cunt. You're gonna hold it up so I can see it, and we're gonna count together how long you can hold your breath, yeah?" Chris said through gritted teeth before hitting the start button.

Chris' left hand was still tangled in your hair, and with his right hand, he pinched your nose closed between his thumb and pointer finger. "Be a good girl and hold your breath for me," he whispered to you, admiring the way your soft, pretty lips looked keeping his cock warm for him.

"Come on, princess. It's only been fifteen seconds. I know you can keep going since you're so good at holding your breath, right?" He taunted you as he peered down at the tears forming in your eyes.

"Like having your step brother's dick in your mouth? I bet you do. Didn't even put up a fight or nothin', you just let me stick it in," Chris spoke to you in a low, dominant voice that immediately had your pussy drooling for him. "Thirty seconds," Chris relayed, his eyes bouncing back and forth between your pretty little mouth and the stopwatch.

"Fuck, it's so nice to have some peace and quiet around here for once. No bitchin', no complainin', no whinin'. Just the sweet sound of you gagging on me," Chris moaned, gently rocking his hips back and forth and relishing in the soft choking noises that came from you, his belt buckle softly clanking against itself.

"See? Now that's what it looks like when you're actually holding your breath. Forty-five seconds," Chris smirked down at you, noting how red your face was getting from lack of air.

He started to fuck your face a little rougher, still cutting off your oxygen flow, the sound of the metal on his belt getting louder. You could feel his tip grazing that spot at the back of your throat, tickling your gag reflex. You could feel his pretty veins with your tongue as it rested on the backside of his length.

"You like having your mouth used by your step brother? I bet you like when I remind you what I am to you, huh? Does it make you wet? How wrong it is?" Chris teased you, thrusting back and forth, his eyes rolling back into his head as several animalistic moans left his mouth.

You didn't want to admit it, but Chris was right. There was something about it that was so taboo that you couldn't help but soak your panties while Chris used you however he wanted. "One minute. You already look like you need air, princess," Chris taunted you, his jaw slacking as he looked down at the tears rolling down your cheeks. "So pretty when you cry for me," he let out a breathy moan while he threw his head back.

Your heart started pounding in you ears, your palms were sweating, and your eyes felt like they were going to bulge out of your head. You did secretly love choking on your step brother's gorgeous cock, but you really couldn't breathe, and you didn't have the lung capacity for this.

You took your free hand, made a fist with it and started pounding on Chris' thigh to let him know you'd had enough. "Admit you lied and that you like this, and I'll let you breathe," Chris cooed, peering down at you and how desperately you gazed up at him.

You were too prideful. Surely, he'd have to let go of your nose regardless of whether you admitted to it or not, right? You pounded on his thigh again.

"All you have to do, princess, is nod your head when I ask you these next few questions, and I'll let go," Chris said to you slowly as if you were dumb. "Did you cheat during our contest and then lie about it?" He inquired, staring down at your makeup streaking down your cheeks. You couldn't take it any longer. You nodded.

"Good answer. Now does it make you wet? How wrong it is to have your step brother's dick in your pretty little mouth?" He asked in a soft, sweet tone, which didn't match the vile words pouring from his pouty lips. Humiliation welled in you, and you looked up at your step brother in shame as you hesitantly nodded your head.

"That's what I thought," Chris whispered, finally letting go of your nose and pulling his meat out of your throat, eliciting several loud gasping and coughing sounds from you before you started violently panting, desperately trying to catch your breath.

"Fuck, I can't believe you liked that. You're so fucked up," Chris whispered, winking down at you and smiling, knowing he liked it just as much. "You know, while I have you here, I may as well have you finish the job, hmm?" He suggested, searching your face for a reaction.

Desperation filled your eyes while you gazed up at him and slowly nodded. You hated the way he had you submitting to him, and so easily, too, but you couldn't help the way it turned you on to think about your step brother busting all over your tongue.

He grabbed the back of your head again and made his cock vanish behind your lips once more. He gripped onto your hair tightly, controlling your movements and causing your mouth to jounce on his meat. His hips began involuntarily thrusting back and forth while he enjoyed the way you graciously took every inch like you were starving for it.

Your tongue danced around on the underside of his shaft, supplementing the sensations he was already giving into. The way you stared up at him with your lips embracing all his sensitive nerve endings made him melt in your mouth, and his eyes started to glaze over. You could tell he was getting close.

"Fuck, you're such a good step sister. Takin' me so fuckin' well," he whispered in a sultry voice, contemptuously smiling at you. You couldn't believe how much you were looking forward to making Chris finish on your tastebuds, and you felt repulsed with yourself for getting so wet at his words. No matter how much you tried to remind yourself what a disgusting, selfish jerk he was, your pussy was drooling for him.

"What would your daddy think if he knew his little princess were choking on my dick right now while he finishes up at work?" Chris seductictively teased you, feeding your humiliation kink.

You didn't need to use your words to tell Chris how much you liked everything he was saying to you. He could tell by the desperate glint in your eye that lingered as he degraded you.

"Want your step brother to cum on your pretty little tongue?" Chris cooed, his movements becoming more jagged and messy as he fucked your mouth. "You gotta beg for it, princess, or else I won't give it to ya," he snarked back, his lips curling into a devilish grin.

You peered up at him in silence. Of course you wanted to taste his seed as it poured from his tip, but you wanted him to beg you to let him cum, not the other way around.

He roughly pulled you off his cock and leaned down so that his face was only a few inches from yours. "I said beg," he rasped. Fuck, you thought when you realized you'd already lost the power struggle the second you cheated during the breath-holding contest.

Chris wasn't the type to let things go, and he didn't care about cumming if you weren't going to beg him. He'd leave himself unfinished just to spite you. "Please, Chris.." you softly whined while you were on your knees peering up at him, longingly. "Please what?" He inquired, needing to hear you say it.

"Please. I want you to fill up my mouth," you quietly admitted. "Good girl. Say it again. Beg harder," he lustfully stared down at you, hanging onto your every last word, but you thought you'd try one more time to flip the dynamic on him.

"Be a good boy and cum for me," your lips curled into a smug smile, but Chris wasn't the least bit amused. "That's not how this works. You are not domming me right now, fucking bitch," Chris said, taking your hair into his tight grasp again and shaking you around like a doll. "I fucking said beg. And if you misbehave one more time, I'll never let you suck my cock again," he threatened. You hated how effective this was.

"No, no, no. Please. I'm sorry. Please finish on my tongue. Please. I'm dying for it. I need your cum flooding my mouth until it's overflowing. I'd do anything for it," you whined, giving Chris exactly what he wanted.

"Fuck. So easy. Such a good girl for me. How could I not reward such pretty words?" Chris cooed, making his wand disappear behind your pretty lips again like some kind of deranged magic trick.

He rocked his hips back and forth, triggering your gag reflex some more and relishing in the lovely sound of you choking on him. His moans became deeper and more urgent as you took him so well. "Good girl. Get ready for me, princess. I'm so close," Chris breathlessly called out, violently fucking your face while he manipulated the movement of your head, still holding your hair in his tight grip.

His guttural moans echoed throughout the house as his dick throbbed against your lips, emitting a hot, thick, sticky substance onto your eager tongue while he pumped back and forth, savoring every last bit of pleasure. "Good girl. Swallow," he commanded you, smiling down at the way you obediently listened.

"Fuck," he whispered when he was done using your pretty little back-talking mouth. As he tucked his satisfied cock back into his pants, he wiped away a tear that was running down you cheek and softly said, "Now those dishes aren't going to wash themselves, princess."

taglist: @weirdratperson @bsturnzmtt @sturniolo-girl @munchingmini @butterbean-01 @coolasice01 @theyluvme-2315 @zariyam @brookiecookie-18 @maggot3647 @slut4chriztopher @strnlslvr @sleepysturniolo @lvrsturniolo @sofieeeeex @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @matts-myloverboy @mattsfavbigtitties @new2024cats4life @witchofthehour @slutforsturniolosss @sturniolosweetheart33 @whoahoahoahoahoa @ilovechrissturniolosposts @smt-obsessed @sturnioloxlver @that1fangirll @hrtz4alex2211 @luvhsien @sp3ncerslvt @sturniolo-munch44 @jakewebberswifee @karttpet @thenickgurl @sturniolo-fann @sst7niolo @slxtformatt @chestersturniolo @riowritesitall @camzeecorner @mattsturnixlo @annedebeijer @scorpioosworld @mattlover-00 @sweetlikesug4rvenom @m11rx @sturniolocharms @mickelodeon-2003 @sigmarizzler1 @chrislova

[manonblaqkbeak]

Time With You

Hello everybody, happy 2024!!! I'm on annual leave (that i took to read hofas lmao) and decided to use this time to right this fic that has been in the back of my head for monthsssss but i hate using my laptop so never got around to writing it until now.

it does start out with Aedion's POV, something i dont think ive ever done, but it ends with Aelin's as this is a rowaelin story lol

as always, hope you enjoy!!

cw: brief mentions of death/grief, arobynn hamel being a POS. but otherwise its purely fluff bc i love human au rowaelin fluff

word count: 1500+

Aedion couldn't stop staring at his cousin—which sounded strange, but he had a very good reason for why his eyes were glued to his cousin; Rowan Whitethorn's hand was on her bare thigh.

And why was it on her bare thigh? He had no idea.

Aedion was aware that they were talking more, had become friends instead of constantly bickering, but he wasn't at all aware that their friendship had moved to the point where Rowan was resting his hand on Aelin's thigh.

And Aelin seemed to like the fact that it was there. He knew his cousin as if she was his sister—if she didn't want that touch, then she would remove it and bite Rowan's head off. It wasn't like she was a stranger doing that. One of their first conversations when Aelin had started at Orynth University had been a verbal spat; Rowan bumped into her and when Aelin asked for an apology, Rowan claimed that she had been in the way and that she should apologise to him.

And so that one conversation started years worth of petty arguments and forced proximity due to Aedion's friendship with the silver-haired man.

“Stop staring,” Lysandra hissed under her breath.

Aedion turned to his fiancee, and frowned. “How long has that been going on for?” He hoped that his cousin and Rowan couldn't hear him. All of their friends were at their local pub, the best way to catch up these days, the air outside in the courtyard refreshing after being inside a stuffy office. And when everyone got there, they had found that Rowan and Aelin were already there, occupying a tall table with stools—with only enough room for the both of them. And when everyone else went to the long benches that they always sat at, Aelin and Rowan stayed at their own table, talking amongst themselves.

“They've been talking for a while,” Lysandra said, her emerald green eyes sparkling from the warm fairy-lights strung up around the place.

Aedion's frown deepened. “What does that mean?”

Just then, Rowan stood up, the menu from the restaurant behind them in his hand, his wallet in his other and he leaned over and kissed Aelin on her cheek.

Aelin's smile was brighter than the sun.

“Since when does Rowan kiss Aelin?” Aedion asked his eyes about to drop out from their sockets and his confusion growing even more. He and Aelin were as close as siblings, but he could admit to himself that he did feel a little hurt that Aelin hadn't told him of this development.

With Rowan out of sight, Lysandra and Elide shot up out of their seats and made their way towards Aelin. Aedion followed after them, even though Elide said, “Women only, cousin.” Aedion didn't listen and stood next to Lysandra, patiently waiting for his cousin to speak.

XXXXX

It was a little embarrassing to admit it, even to herself, but with the moment Rowan put his hand on her bare thigh, all thoughts but one disappeared.

Aelin liked Rowan, a lot.

And when Rowan got up to order their dinner—and was insisting on paying for her—Aelin forgot that all their friends were only a few feet away, that there were strangers surrounding them, that live music was being played, but when he got up and left, and her friends and cousin were in front of her, asking question after question, Aelin had to mentally slap herself out of the stupor she found herself in and asked Aedion to repeat his question, but only because he was the one who spoke last.

“Are you and Rowan dating?”

“No, not yet.” And Gods, maybe it sounded pathetic, which she hated sounding, but she hoped that they would soon move on from this weird-limbo thing that found themselves in and would start seeing each other properly.

��When did you start liking him like that?”

Aelin shrugged, if only because it was too long of a story to get into right now. “I'll message you about it later.”

Aedion raised his eyebrow. “You promise?”

Aelin huffed a laughed when he extended his pinkie finger, his fathers ring gleaming in the fairy-lights. “I promise,” she said, wrapping her pinkie around his. “Now go, all of you, Rowan's coming back.” They all rolled their eyes at her, but did what she said and soon, Aelin found herself face-to-face with Rowan again.

XXXXX

Aelin was glad she left her car at her apartment, finding that the evening was nice and breezy without being too cold, because it meant that Rowan walked her home and held her hand the entire time. Her smile was so wide she knew that she would still feel it hours later.

Gods, she couldn't remember the last time she had been so...giddy about someone. Maybe in the beginning stages with Chaol, before their relationship fizzled out and they both realised that they were better off as friends (and they very much were; sometimes it was like they never dated for two years and lived together for one).

But this beginning with Rowan, it felt different. She didn't want to think too much of it, but Aelin...she thought to herself that it would be very easy to fall in love with him. How funny life was to go from heavily disliking him, to holding his hand weeks after she found in the park near the beach, his eyes teary as he sat in silence, his grief consuming him over the death of his late girlfriend, Lyria.

Aelin found herself at that same park due to her own grief over the deaths of her parents. They had been gone for years and years, but the time living under the harsh and cruel roof of her foster parent, Arobynn Hamel, still lingered, may always linger, as her therapist told her, but it was up to Aelin to decide what to do with those emotional and mental scars.

And they found themselves talking about their grief, their lives and wishes for their futures. He walked her home after that as well, and their friendship had changed after that, for which she was very grateful for—that there was someone else like her that dealt with dark thoughts and feelings, but was fighting each day to overcome them.

Shaking off the thought, Aelin blinked and realised that she and Rowan were just a couple of moments away from the front doors of her apartment building.

Rowan dropped her off at her front door, the scent of her favourite diffuser—camellia and lotus flower—greeting her as she opened her front door. Rowan cleared his throat and Aelin turned to him.

“It's your weekend off, isn't it?” he asked, his Doranelle accent still quite thick even after living in Terrasen for years now.

“Yes.” She was assistant manager of Havilliard Books. She and Dorian, one of her oldest friends and store manager, long ago worked out a schedule that worked amazingly for them both. And not only was she assistant manager, but she handled their stores personal Instagram page, and because Dorian's father owned the multiple stores throughout the continent, Dorian made sure that she received extra payment for keeping their page up to date and inviting.

“Did you have any plans this weekend?”

“No, I'm free all day.” She usually reserved Sunday for an apartment clean, but fuck that. She could clean later.

Rowan smile, his facial tattoo crinkling slightly. It was a work of art, that tattoo, the Old Language of Doranelle was stark against his golden-tanned skin.

“How about I finally take you out on a proper date? Starting from the moment I arrive here tomorrow morning and it ending whenever you want?”

Aelin's smile grew impossibly more. “I would very much like that.”

Rowan's smile grew too. “Good, then I'll see you tomorrow, Aelin. I am very much looking forward to it.”

Aelin reached up and kissed his cheek like he had kissed hers earlier. “I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you for walking me home. Goodnight, Rowan.”

“Goodnight, Aelin, I'll see you tomorrow, how does nine sound?”

“That sounds good.” And as an early riser—even on her days off—it would give her plenty of time to get ready.

“Okay, I'll see you then.” He kissed the top of her hand, reminding her of her favourite romance stories and waited until she was inside and locked the door behind her to leave.

A whoosh of air left Aelin and she found herself humming to her favourite classical pieces. She did end up cleaning her apartment, finding that she had too much energy to have a shower and go to bed, and as she cleaned, she called Aedion, telling her cousin of her budding relationship with Rowan. Her cousin was ecstatic for her, even as he promised to kick his arse if Rowan hurt her—although Aelin told her meddlesome cousin that she could very much do that herself, as she took self-defense classes at her gym and had the toned and muscled body to prove it.

Afterwards, as she lay in bed, she and Rowan texted each other until Aelin's eyes started drooping, her last message only half-written, but she fell asleep with a smile on her face, ready for tomorrow.

[jays-bookmarks]

Falling Leaves (Kazuha x gn!reader)

I woke up today and chose violence >:3c

This was inspired by some hcs I saw that said Kazuha would be too passive and conflict-averse to ever sit down and address the problems in your relationship so the tension would just build until it all falls apart and boy I was thinking about that all night,, so I had to write something about it lol

I might write a part 2 where you guys make up if people want to see it bc goodness knows I can't handle pure angst like this lmao

Summary: You love maple leaves, yet so many goodbyes seem to happen when they turn red. They say if you love someone, set them free... but why does it hurt so much? Words: 927 Warnings: angst w no comfort, Kazuha has attachment issues :(

Autumn was always your favorite season in Inazuma. With it came a break from summer's constant balmy air that always stuck your clothes to your skin, and the farmers' harvest that meant a huge variety of dishes for you to sample. Yet the most important change in autumn was the leaves of the maple trees that dotted the Inazuman landscape. There was something about this last burst of color before the trees shed their leaves for the winter that always left you in awe, and on more than one occasion you had to quickly apologize to someone you bumped into because you were too busy watching the trees.

In recent times, though, the autumn leaves reminded you of something else. Someone else, to be specific.

That someone was sitting next to you, his back leaning against the trunk of the maple tree the two of you were relaxing under. Every once in a while, a breeze rustled through the branches, blowing a few crimson leaves to the ground.

The two of you had spent many afternoons like this, simply enjoying each other's presence. Yet today, as with many days previously, you felt something had changed.

You shot a glance at your beloved. He was silent, a contemplative frown on his face. You had caught him wearing a similar expression on many occasions when he thought you weren't looking, and, after weeks of gentle prodding that got you nowhere, you were determined to get an answer out of him today.

You sighed, prompting Kazuha to look at you with a questioning hum.

"Kazuha, are you… okay?" You asked.

Kazuha smiled, leaning over to press a kiss to your forehead. "Of course. I'm with you, aren't I?"

You bit your lip. This was the same evasive answer he'd been giving you every other time you brought this up to him.

"That's sweet, Kazuha, but…" you paused. "You've been sort of… distant… lately, even when we're together."

"…I'm sorry, my love. It seems I've neglected you yet again."

"No, this isn't about— this is about you. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, love."

You sighed as silence fell over you both. You knew he was avoiding the question, but you decided that the issue had gone on unresolved for long enough, so you kept pressing.

"Is it because I asked you to spend more time with me?"

You hated considering the possibility, but you had to be sure either way. Kazuha stiffened beside you. Though it was only a brief pause before he spoke, it told you everything. After all, he wasn't very good at lying, especially not to you.

"Of course not, love. The time I spend with you is the most precious of them all."

Your chest tightened as you took a shaky breath. It's not like this was unexpected. You had felt the distance between you two growing by the day, but you deluded yourself into thinking that you could still bridge the gap. Maybe if you had said something earlier… reached a little harder… but... no, he was too far gone. You should've known better than to cling so tightly to such a free spirit. You were someone who craved stability and reliability, and this was something Kazuha simply couldn't grant you.

With that realization, you asked your final question.

"Am I… tying you down?"

Another pause. Kazuha let out a long sigh. "In truth…"

You drew in a breath, your hands clenching at the fabric of your shirt as you prepared to receive the blow of his words.

"No."

You looked up in shock, the tension deflating from your body as you met Kazuha's gentle gaze. He smiled, but the twinkle in his eyes you had grown to love was nowhere to be found.

You shook your head, pinching your eyes shut so you didn't have to see the pity in his gaze.

"Don't lie to make me feel better, Kazuha," you said. "If I'm really holding you back from being happy, then—"

You cut yourself off, unable to voice the thought that had surfaced in your mind. Tears began to roll down your cheeks, but no hand came to wipe them away.

"Then… is this goodbye?" Kazuha said, his voice soft but steady, just like it always was, betraying no hint of emotion.

"…it doesn't have to be."

You wanted to grab him by the hand and beg him to stay; you wanted to pull him into an embrace and hold him until he promised to be by your side forever; but most of all, you wanted him to smile again, properly, without that distant look in his eyes. So you kept your arms wrapped tight around yourself. They say if you love someone, set them free… but why did it hurt so much?

Kazuha pushed himself from the ground, the soft swish of fabric the only other sound besides your trembling breaths. Even the breeze had died down, as if the world itself was holding its breath to see what would happen next. Kazuha stood before you for a moment. You wished you could see what expression he wore, but you couldn't bring yourself to look up at him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy," he said. "Goodbye."

He turned and started down the path back to Ritou, his footsteps fading with your final shred of hope. You buried your head in the cocoon of your body and sobbed. So this was it. All the time you spent together, over with a single word.

Goodbye, Kazuha. I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy.

[borreloadsavagedragon]

Give Kaito essay (for the character meme)

Oh god, I’ll read more this because it’s gonna be a journey and that's also why it took so long gjdaslgk-

And the standard zexal and arc v spoilers warning message-

1. how long have i known about them A LONG time though it didn’t get to like he’s my whole world status until pandemic era-- MalindaChan did her cosplay for him back when I was still a certified Yugiboomer who entertained GX and 5DS because "lol abridged series jokes" and that’s when I first remember seeing his design? I tried watching Zexal briefly when it was actively airing but just couldn’t get far bc Boomer Brain ™, but I remember him being cool but the "Kaiba-likeness but not being Kaiba" Yugiboomer wall couldn't be overcome right away, I had to train my skills Then 2020 happened, I watched Vrains to understand Link Summoning, got SUCKED into it, and was like wow past me was dumb, ALL of the spinoffs are GREAT Zexal reached a hand back out to me when I was kinda struggling with the Vrains community and I'd decided to start writing more spinoff muses with some mutual friends and that's also when I realized I’d be subconsciously collecting Galaxy and Photon monsters since they’re pretty + space themed but also because they were inside of ALL of the Kaiba support sets(because DUH) so it was like,,, well, let’s try that again

Now I’m In Hell And It’s All His Fault Do you think I ENJOY playing Photon competitively? Well yes, but also NO. It means learning new decks is HARD because I can't look at dragons and knights in SPACE.

2. whether or not they’ve ever made me cry Moon duel? W,, what Moon duel,,, I don’t,,, remember any space dueling, ahaha, isn’t that another yugioh, the rush of the go,,,,,,, In all serious though, yes lmao The duel against Zexal when he tells you his reasoning for why he’s the Number Hunter and he looks so broken, that got a solid few tears The flashback of him trying to break Haruto out of the city got some tears  The duel with Chris is also really good show of his character at the root, the thing that gets him back to his feet is the moment Chris even considers Haruto as part of his suffering, g o d The moon duel of course. That’s. That one was brutal. Yeah. 

3. whether or not i have any merchandise/objects with them uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

There’s a wall scroll behind my work desk that sneaks into my Zoom calls, there’s a canvas print he’s on that sits at my work desk, my ita bag has a handful of charms, pins, and buttons for him(still hunting for artists who draw him with merch wink wink)

I guess my Photon tcg deck counts? The tcg is just one big merch machine if you squint enough-

My Book of Moon themed binder is literally just all of my collector Photon and Galaxy/references to Kaito cards + a small page for Miza since Tachyon is a Galaxy Eyes

Do cosplays count? Because I’ve got all but his space suit basically done + his duel disk 

4. what about their personality i like How seriously he takes himself despite literally everything else about his character 

He’s often off to the side with his arms crossed, pouting or frowning, having the cool guy edge lord behavior But also he’s screaming in the rain, jumping through a window on a kite glider he made himself that also doubles as his robo-butler, flying to the whole ass moon because a rock told him to, and beefing 14 yr olds, he’s just a legend 

I also love that he's like... very clear about himself and on how you should treat him. He straight up says he's going to hell for what he's done and just continues to be there because that's how he'll atone because atonement isn't forgiveness, like he's not ours to forgive. Love him so much.

5. what about their backstory makes me emotional Honestly, most of it

Watching Kaito slowly lose his autonomy (his brother whose been his responsibility for what could be read as since birth, his father just becoming a figure head in his life versus an actual parent, Chris walking out on him with no closure until they duel, being watched by and trained under brutal conditions by the government, failed escape attempts, getting lied to and used, etc) and then knowing one of the people who he attributes half of that loss and suffering to is someone he never gets closure against is very hard to watch

Even in Arc V, he loses his entire family in a way that makes him cut ties with every single person left in a desolate city and hunt his enemies down one by one to pay them back for his suffering, and it happened before we finally actually get to see him or hear of him for the first time so god knows the details

He really just gets put through it time and time again, yugioh be nice to that onion challenge

6. the moment of theirs that made me the saddest there was no duel on the moon in yugioh zexal

But actually, Kaito dying is tragic for a few reasons

THEY JUST LET HIS BROTHER WATCH IT HAPPEN? FAKER??? HELLO?

He was... ok with it happening-

He was killed off before the final duel and before he could reunite with Yuma and Ryouga again, and even though he came back as a spirit, it felt like a such a cop out

7. the moment of theirs that made me the happiest The pure look of joy on his face reuniting with his brother after they defeat Vector the first time, it’s so good The first time Prime Photon is summoned, goated, perfect, all boss monsters should be willed into existence like that But also Arc V, Kaito watching Dennis duel Yuya after everything with Zarc and clapping for him is so sweet omg

8. something about them that made me laugh HIS ONE LINERS, yugioh really gives the rivals the best solo lines I swear to god

Ok listen, dub and sun debate aside, I watched both because I’m a mess and need as much Kaito as I can get, but the dub has some heaters and Kaito’s got a few good ones, ESPECIALLY when he's talking to Mizael

The one to Shark, “You’re quite the romanticist”, who the fuck says that out loud to another person Kaito talking to Dennis is also a fever dream, the dub especially is so jarring, I love them

9. my favorite canon outfit of theirs White coat with the gazer tattoo, you can never go wrong with the Photon coat Numeral Hunter is also based, I know that's not like HIS look in any show, but... I HC that would be his Vrains Avatar, he could go to Vrains very easily, Solflare is an exploitable card in his deck

10. my favorite moment with them in canon UUUUGGHHHH CHOOSING ONE IS HARD

Uhhh, episode wise Shark Hunter is prooobably my favorite(for obvious reason but besides those LOL) because it’s such a tone setter for who Kaito is and also I could listen to these two bicker all day long, we really didn’t get nearly enough of their side rivalry as opposed to like Kaiba and Joey or Takeru and Ryoken

And then the Moon Duel is like my second favorite duel in the whole franchise, only outclassed by Soba and Revo in Vrains, you really get to see just how strong he is because he's half blind, still actively dying by dueling, and gets his helmet cracked in the vacuum of space, and he's still able to win

Character moment, the duel against Chris comes to mind again because it shows a lot of Kaito to his core, but also Kaito hauling ASS to get Yuma to Astral world to reunite with Astral is iconic, Kaito's always ready to take the plunge when everyone else says not to because he just KNOWS he's right

11. my favorite relationship they have with another character sweats profusely, I said it above somewhere I think- removing shipping from the equation entirely, I REALLY like all of the bff / rival dynamics across all of the shows, I love how well done they are and I fully find them more interesting than the standard protag/rival ones, even with KaiRyo having like the least amount of time dedicated to theirs comparatively. Ryouga and Kaito being treated so similarly by the hands dealt to them to where they'd understand the other one like looking in a mirror and yet they cannot stand each other, I eat that shit up. But also knowing the other person so well that they don't even have to talk and also realizing that person is their one of their only option to success? Give me MORE of that I also really love the foil between Mizael and Kaito a lot, I REALLY wish it got the time it was rumored to get, guess I gotta do everything myself In Arc V, Kaito and Shun's dynamic is really good for the little bit we're allowed the time to see it, Shun being one of the only characters who actually goes back for him after leaving so abruptly between Arc V and Zexal... tugs on the heart strings I also love that Kaito took ONE look at Edo in the safe house and decided to speed run the enemies part of the enemies to lovers arc they were going to have, I wish they could have spoken in canon more, hell GX Edo and Zexal Kaito would also be such an interesting dymamic

12. what i like about the way the fandom portrays them Everyone drawing him like >:D all of the time, keep doing that The white lab coat look too? Like not the Photon one, like a standard white lab coat? Perfect, DO NOT change that

nsfw next but also just how everyone knows he's a bottom no matter which ship it is lmao

13. what i dont like about the way the fandom portrays them that no one talks about him except in “WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE RIVAL” polls fndhxjshxbs

I’m going insane in my thoughts alone over here, I need to convert everyone to watch Zexal

14. what i liked about the way canon portrayed them Ok here we can get heated for a bit because I’ve seen an argument somewhere that Kaito didn’t develop at all from season 1 to 2 of Zexal but he 100000% did and I honestly like how it's done

Season 1 Kaito was purposefully talking to the air Astral could be in to avoid even looking at Yuma because he thought so little of him despite how much clawing to get on the same level as him Yuma did

Season 2 Kaito is jumping in to keep Mizael from killing Yuma without a second thought, he's going to the arctic despite ALL of the protests to build the bridge to Astral

His development is subtle, but it's very there, not to mention he can now stomach being in the same room as Faker, gave Chris a second chance, his dying words to Yuma are all the more apparent how important Yuma became to him Like the ONLY person we should have seen an actual conversation touching on Kaito's actions with WAS Ryouga but... be honest, Ryouga's not accepting that from Kaito, they're both very much people of action and they established their bond through the snark and bickering, that's how they communicate Plus Kaito's also outward about not being a good person, telling Yuma he sold his soul to the devil, telling the gang in the first episodes of Zexal II he's already going to hell because that's what his guilty soul deserves Ryoken and Kaito would be SUCH an interesting duo, I'm just saying

15. what i dont like about the way canon portrayed them Oh boy now here we go LOL

The duel against Mr Heartland. - This one's unbelievably bad for so many reasons, mostly because there’s no universe where Kaito struggles against Heartland of all people in a duel, but also this is the person who’s been THE symbol for most of his trauma and trials up until that point. There is no chance in hell he struggles, gets crippled by him, and has to have Yuma take over. That was and always should have been his duel to win, but Yugioh has the unfortunate "this is a story through the protag's eyes" shonen protag bug at its core (Yuma sweetie you’re lovely and wonderful, it’s literally not your fault) 

Arc V giving him literally no time for their version of Kaito to have a more satisfactory character arc because of how long and bad the Synchro Dimension/Friendship Cup arc was. Just another victim of the Synchro Arc, sighs. The dub also puts this weird and bad attempted joking line about how Kaito doesn't do family and like have you literally watched any of Zexal, you're the whole ass studio Kaito just doesn't feel very Kaito the same way in Arc V, it's very sad, lots of shit you know og Kaito wouldn't let fly that just goes by in Arc V, but different versions, dimensions, stories, etc etc, it's just such a whiplash coming from Zexal where he's just so much more

OCG Structures was a coward and didn’t want to play with dimensional physics because Kaito 110% could find a way into that timeline I haven't read the Zexal manga in full just yet because I wanna collect them all physically so that'll be later- And a little bit for the games since Konami wanted at least one of those to be canon thanks to Vrains world-

Cross Duel literally had you consider killing kids for him but honestly this one is more funny than infuriating, everyone's a worst version of themselves in Cross Duel agjdaslkgj Duel Links is usually pretty good, but since Kaito’s first launch event where he's hunting you down, he’s been very much more like an NPC for the Zexal world events, just seems weird to me, I'm sure that'll get thrown out once Chris' unlock event actually happens coming up here and when Miza gets added... then that digital world won't know WHAT to do

[aclosetfan]

OK so i have this hc where BC finds out Butch is a very talented graffiti artist and decides to ask the mayor for permission to let Butch graffiti (?) around Townsville (as long as he doesn't make anything too offensive or something). my prompt is: BC watching Butch working and just being like "im so gay for him hElP" :DDD IT WOULD BE AWESOME if bubbles were there too and BC thinking how she's really happy that two of her fav people get along so well and gsjshsjs honestly anything just involving Greens + Bubbles + art + BC 'secretly' being full of LOVE would be PERFECT. Thank you! (sorry for the long ask lmao)

:) please forgive the delay, anon! I love this prompt and tried capturing the spirit of it to the best of my ability! Also, I added Boomer to this, and made Buttercup a trans guy named Bud. It’s sort of a spiritual successor to this post, hope you don’t mind!

There’s more exposition in here then I wanted, but I find with one-shots, I always tend to lay a more detailed foundation so people understand the world we’re visiting. I don’t know if that’s the correct way you’re suppose to do things, but i love lore, so I write it lolol.

for this prompt game!

============================================

“I didn’t know he was,” Bud paused, ripping his eyes away from Butch to look over at Boomer, “uh, like, actually good at this?”

"Whose good at what?" Boomer grunted, wiggling and stretching his tongue around his straw as he tried to wrestle it back into his mouth.

Bud rolled his eyes, taking pity on the other far more...broken boy, and held the straw circling around Boomer's liquefied lunch in one place. "Butch," he clarified, "who else?"

Boomer let out a delighted noise and took large, greedy sips of his lunch, smacking his lips obnoxiously when he was done. He opened his mouth like he was going to answer when at the last second, it seemed he decided against it and pulled another gulp of mush through the straw. Bud couldn't stop the disgusted face he pulled, watching the chunky yellow gunk slowly travel up the see-through plastic straw. He supposed his discomfort couldn't be helped since he had, in fact, volunteered to watch over Boomer while Butch helped Bubbles with the Mayor's urban beautification initiative, and that included holding his cup of food while he ate. It wasn't like Bud was required to help him go to the bathroom or anything, but still, it was freaking nasty, and Boomer was constantly asking him to itch places Bud had no desire to itch.

Maybe babysitting someone with the attention span of a goldfish would have been easier if Boomer hadn't insisted on attending the project with Butch and Bubbles and had just stayed in his fully air-conditioned home, but no, Bud had never been that lucky. Instead, he and Boomer sat across the street from where Bubbles and Butch worked, sitting on a concrete barrier that had taken a great deal of maneuvering to hoist Boomer onto, so he could "supervise."  The heat of the sun was uncomfortable but not unbearable, and that was only because of the intense breeze coming off the busy roadway. However, the concrete was steaming to the touch, and he kept adjusting to save his poor thighs.

Sweat began to drip uncomfortably down his back, and he felt it pooling in his binder. If he had known he would have been stuck sitting under the sweltering sun with absolutely no shade, he would have worn something different and, maybe, put on more sunblock. Or, better yet, he would have just said no to the whole endeavor. 

Again, rolling his eyes, Bud's gaze fell back to the two across the street. Bubbles and a handful of other artists were volunteering with the Mayor's public infrastructure committee to promote public arts around the City. Unfortunately, here was a lot (a lot) of inappropriate graffiti downtown in the city’s poorer districts, and Bubbles had specifically requested permission to paint over some of the more offensive, bigoted stuff. She had initially wanted to do traditional painted murals but had quickly become enamored with all the graffiti styles that, you know, didn't promote white supremacy and other shitty stuff like that.

Bubbles had done a great deal of research into the Townsville tagging community. She could go on about the differences between tagging, Mular work, wildstyle, and all kinds of graffiti techniques forever, and had actually gone so far as to track down some of the people whose works had really inspired her. She'd call them and ask if they were interested in doing more in a specific "beautification" zone. More often than not, no one seemed to want to refuse their bubbliest Powerpuff, despite some insisting that their identities needed to remain anonymous. 

Not even two weeks into the boys' return to the city, they had unsurprisingly gotten the run-down about Bubbles' project as it was the only thing she seemed interested in talking about the last few weeks. Mostly speaking to Brick since they were the one who boasted the boys' collective attention span, Bubbles had explained the committee project, showing off pictures and lamenting about how she hadn't been able to track one of her favorite artist's down.

It shouldn't have been such a shock, but it was when Brick had laughed and snapped at Boomer to get his attention. Bubbles had been enthused, and Boomer's ego had been sufficiently rubbed enough that he agreed to help her out. Unlike some of the other taggers she had worked with, Boomer didn't care about his anonymity as he was already too infamous anyway but was adamant that he maintain complete creative control. In Bud's opinion, Bubbles had been a really good sport about that, considering it was her project, so one busted lip and two black eyes later, Boomer and Bubbles compromised on a perfect, shared "artistic vision."

Then, of course, as everyone already likely knew, Boomer broke both his arms, cracked his clavicle, and suffered through a 24-hour coma due to a rocket-launcher-related incident that he and his brothers kept insisting had been "worth it."

"It's not like he was ever using his head much anyway," Butch had shrugged, waving off Blossom's lecture, and Brick had added, "and it's not like he died this time, so what's the big deal?"

"Yeah, bitch, I lived!" Boomer had cackled, putting any of Blossom's arguments sufficiently to rest.

Whatever Boomer had done to himself, it had knocked his Chemical-X off-kilter, impeding his regenerative healing abilities. As a result, he was stuck with two arm casts and a neck and back brace that didn't allow him to rotate his head. His brothers took turns babying him while he healed, and today had been Butch's turn, who Boomer had already volunteered to help Bubbles in his place. Apparently, Brick hadn't been willing to switch shifts, needing what they called "a fucking minute alone," which was fine since Boomer had wanted to come supervise the art project, but someone still needed to actually watch him while Butch was busy working.

And since Bubbles’ beautification zone involved derogatory language about Bud and his transition, he felt obligated for whatever stupid reason to help out, like it was his fault or something that they were stuck at this shitty, hot intersection. He hoped, at least, no one thought it was his fault, but he pushed his unease and anxiety far away for the time being.  

Still sucking away at his lunch, Boomer spoke up through a mouthful, pulling Bud's attention back to the present.

"Yeah," He spoke, chewing on a chunk of yellow (?), "we've all tagged when we were kids. Butch is pretty good, I mean, I'm better, but he has potential. Is he my first choice? No. His lines, eh—" Boomer shrugged, then winced in pain before continuing, "—needs work, but a few more days under my wings, and maybe we'll really have something with him."

"I can hear you," Butch yelled as the light turned green, and the few cars stopped went barrelling ahead.

"Finally!" Boomer called back, "Your dripping paint! And stop muddling the colors! And Bubbles, please, this isn't some heartless studio work! My vision requires actual passion!"

"Sorry, Boomer!" Bubbles waved him off, her voice echoing up and down the currently empty street, "I can't hear you! Traffic!"

"Oh, har har! Very funny!" Boomer mocked, "Pretend I'm slow clapping right now! Bud! Slow clap for me!"

He gave Boomer a long look, but despite himself, he felt an amused smile tugging at the corner of his lips and complied, slow clapping on Boomer's behalf.

"Har! Har!" Boomer said again, in time with his clapping.

"Bud!" Bubbles gasped as the traffic began to pick up again, "Betrayal!"

"Forget him, Bubbles," Butch flipped the two of them off, "I'll be your brother now. He can stay with Boomer. I like you more anyways!"

"Oh! You think you can replace the niche I fill that easily, huh!?" Boomer cried, and shifted on his ass until he faced Bud, "Bud! Throw my drink at them!"

Bud snorted, taking the drink away from Boomer entirely, like he still somehow had the ability to reach for it, "Not gonna happen. I'm not making you another one of these. Never again. It's against nature to blend burgers and fries together, okay?" 

"Is it really too much to ask for unbridled support in a goon nowadays?" Boomer pouted, "One day, I'll have a million minions ready at my beck and call, and then you'll all see."

"I look forward to it." He laughed, pushing the drink back in front of his face, "And I'm not your goon. Now, drink up, I don't want Brick on my ass about your calorie intake."

"They're the only one who actually loves me." Boomer nodded solemnly before taking another sip.

"Excuse me? Are they here right now feeding you?"

"Fine. He's the only one who loves me after you," Boomer amended with a smile as the telltale signs of his impending temper tantrum dissipated.  

As he ate, Bud watched Butch and Bubbles. They were once again obscured by traffic, but he could see them still joking around through the gaps. It made him weirdly happy. Bud would have never guessed how much he'd end up actually enjoying the Rowdyruff Boy's company, but puberty had made them strangely likable. Of course, they were still pains in the ass, but now, they were at least funny about it, and it was nice seeing Bubbles and Butch getting along. He briefly wondered if Butch thought the same thing about him and Boomer. His heart flip-flopped at the thought.

Pulling rapidly at the front of his shirt to generate some air flow, Bud watched Butch shake a spray can and carefully, watching his lines, sprayed a neat line onto the wall. Bubbles had refused to show Bud what the finished piece would look like, but so far, it seemed like they were spraying something that needed bright neon effects. Depending on how complicated a project was, Bubbles could sometimes spend whole days down here painting, but with two people on the job, Bud was hoping it wouldn't take too long. The heat was starting to go to his head, and Boomer could hardly be comfortable with all the extra bracing. He highly doubted the two across the street were fairing any better.

And as if Butch was reading his mind, the other boy stopped painting and wiped the sweat off his forehead. He said something to Bubbles as he tossed the spray cans down and without warning, pulled his shirt off over his head, throwing it onto the pile of his and Bubbles' stuff. Bud's heart came to a screeching halt, in perfect tune with the blue Ford Buick, which literally came to a screeching halt as the light turned red.

With the cars at a now stand-still, Bud had an undisturbed view of Butch, shirtless, sweaty, and intensely focused on the work in front of him. The intensity written on Butch's face wasn't unknown to Bud, he had seen it plenty of times when they had fought, but it was different encountering it in a non-violent setting. Butch's eyebrows furrowed together in concentration, completely absorbed in his work to notice Bud staring. It was a lot to take in, and Bud unconsciously pulled Boomer's drink protectively into himself.

"Uh, Bud?" Boomer scooted closer, his open mouth following the straw, but he ignored him.

The heat was definitely going to Bud's head, but he didn't think he cared anymore. He couldn't figure out if he were experiencing an intense bout of gender envy or if it was a side-effect of the very insignificant crush he had developed on the taller boy over their short acquaintanceship. Whatever it was, it wasn't pairing well with the heat. The way Butch's back muscles flexed as he stretched this way and that to spray paint, and the way he'd shake those stupid cans, made Bud next to dizzy. He tried focusing on Butch's work, ripping his eyes away from his body, to admire his talent (because Butch was better than just "good" like Boomer claimed), but that only seemed to make Butch more attractive.

He watched Bubbles glance over in Butch's direction, then not so discretely, she turned around to make eye contact with him, waggling her eyebrows. Bubs had been there the day Butch had hand-delivered some hand-me-downs to try on, and apparently, the look on his face had given away too much. Right after Butch had left, Bud had been cornered and interrogated, and now, he heard nothing else from her besides Butch (and, duh, graffiti).

Bud looked away, unwilling to entertain whatever delusion his sister was thinking. He didn't need hers on top of his own. Bud searched for anything else to look at to pass the time. Staring at the cars was fine, until they stopped and he was awkwardly making eye contact with the drivers, and watching Boomer eat his blended burger and fries was making his stomach turn, so whether he liked it or not, his eyes fell back on Butch and Bubbles across the street.

What Bud saw was horrible. It was outrageous. It was the cutest thing he had ever seen. Butch stood there with Bubbles, laughing, as he rubbed a splotch of paint off her cheek. Bubbles was laughing too, loudly animating with her hands a story Bud couldn't hear over the sound of traffic unless he wanted to eavesdrop on them with his super-hearing. He didn't need to, though. He was fine just watching because that gross, mushy feeling from before was back, where he found himself happy that they got along.

If Bubbles liked him, then maybe, Blossom would too, and if both of his sisters liked him, then maybe, just maybe, Bud would try his luck and ask him out. Maybe. Only if Butch maybe liked him back, but Bud didn't count himself that lucky. Butch had a lot more going for him than Bud did.

Or...well, maybe not in the eyes of the law, but who really cared about that besides Blossom?

"Excuse me!" Boomer huffed, wiggling around to get his attention, "hello!"

Bud jumped, almost surprised to find himself back on a hot, steamy concrete barrier on the side of the road of an incredibly busy intersection.

"W-what!" His voice cracked, turning to face Boomer with wide eyes.

Boomer tsked, "Are you done checking out my brother?"

Bud relaxed his hold on Boomer's shake, noticing his white knuckle grip on it, and with an anxious laugh, argued, "I-I wasn't—"

An evil smile spread across Boomer's face, and Bud immediately switched to the offense.

"I swear," He jabbed a finger at Boomer, "tell a soul, and I'll break the rest of you."

Without even blinking, Boomer shot back, "How about you stop manhandling my food, and I'll think about it."

"How about me starting with your left leg?" He threatened.

"Oh, Butchie!" Boomer sang, "Guess wh—hmph!"

"You wanted your food, right?" Bud shoved the straw back into his mouth, "Now, eat up!"

[neiptune]

ok so, sry for answering in the comments and continuing the conversation here, but the character limits in the comment section had me walking in circles (also sorry for the long text ahead, talking about books always has me rambling)

admittedly i had to google who ferrante is, but now that will definitely be a name i'll look out for the next time i'll go the library- do you have any recommendations? :))

i started regularly reading classics only about three (?) years ago bcs the ones that were written in english i wanted to read in their original language and it took me some time to grow confident enough in my english level to attempt to get through them (as you probably noticed english is not my native language😂) so I have a lot to catch up on!

what i read from dostoevsky i rlly liked (made the mistake to read anna karenina as my first russian novel when i was fifteen - took me some time to get back to russian literature after that)

as cliché as it is, i actually really enjoyed what i read of austen's novels as of now, i just started reading my first murakami so i'm excited to see what that will be like. not (exclusively) but in general i also really enjoy oscar wilde and ocean vuong's works, i have to read a lot for university so during the semester i started reading more short stories and poetry or just light romance or sometimes fantasy novels that don't need my full concentration. or i just reread some of my favourite novels when i was like 15/16 as comfort- what are your comfort books?

sorry againf for the loong text, i hope you have/ had a good day! :)

Please never ever apologize, I love getting messages in my inbox <3 Bonus points if related to books, I've been so excited to reply to this!!!

Yes I absolutely do have one suggestion: please read the my brilliant friend series. I know they're 4 books but after you finish the first one you're not gonna be able to stop: the writing is phenomenal and they have pretty much changed my life. The books tackle female friendship, childhood, competition, adulthood, the post-war stultifying culture of naples, class struggle and so much more in a way that will leave you gasping for air. If you decide to give them a go please let me know, I'd be so happy to hear your opinions! (not going into more detail otherwise this post is going to be 5 pages long lol)

I 100% couldn't tell you're not a native!!! Found myself being a lil jealous of how well spoken you are instead (obviously not a native either here haha) and I must say, I've always read a lot of classics, mostly english literature and mostly bc of school assignments! Lately I've been slacking, there are so many books I bought bc I wanted to enjoy them in their original language but eh, never really touched them again :( I miss being an avid reader and I hope to get back on track this year! I looooove murakami like I know he's problematic but his books have changed my life, especially norwegian wood! I must admit I only read pride and prejudice by austen and didn't like it, also never watched the movie, but I'm willing to give her another go through sense and sensibility eventually :) I'm also trying to step out of my comfort zone and read more fantasy, I really liked the priory of the orange tree and the ninth house! Anddd I also love horror so I should really explore it more, I absolutely love shirley jackson! NOW ONTO COMFORT BOOKS. I'm so sorry but harry potter will always bring comfort to me. JKR can absolutely get fucked but those books shall be held close to my heart forever, they just feel like home. I also non ironically loved the twilight books lmao I'd be absolutely willing to reread! I'm gonna add a few more to the list: little women, the pollyanna series, the hunger games, wuthering heights, the secret history, alice in wonderland, the secret garden and literally any goosebump!!! My turn to apologize for the long ass reply but books are a topic I love too much so I can hardly shut up 🥰

[dreamcrow]

💌🎀🌈 :3'>

(from this meme; thank you for the ask!)

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (wip) that has you excited!

ah, last snow is so close to being close to publishable! and yet... so far OTL i am trepidatious of this fic in many respects but i am. hm. dementedly fond, of my silly little caveman ocs. and yes, of early days magic dweebs. not knowing who you are, or who this strange annoying nerd is, but also realizing how much more you have in common than you'd thought...

anyway i suppose the real answer to this question is "showing off how the earliest version of the universal translator charm does/n't work" lol but i have a lot of work to get through to get to that point!!

🎀 give yourself a compliment about your own writing

oeughghghh (bamboozled) 😭 all RIGHT all right... if i had to pick something on the spot? hm. the effort i put into little details, probably. i do put a lot of effort into them, lol. (to the point i have considered putting up a kind of... fandom non-fiction "dvd commentary"? i chickened out bc i couldn't decide whether people would actually be interested. there were citations and everything 😂) i love finding allusions and secret features when i read things, and i love how much i've been able to put the same into my own work.

🌈 is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

oh god this feels like every fic i've written recently lmao. particularly minor arcana, which—is huge, it makes sense that i worked hard on such a long fic! but man. i don't want to be like "it's writing all this pre-metallurgical setting that's tripping me up" but i do have these two pre-metallurgical nickels 😂

is it the conflict, i wonder? god, writing bellroc's last argument with ren took me out. and now that i think about it, that's not...not what's tripping me up on last snow, either. (the sparring sequence in pace and fury is also one of the proudest pieces i've actually published, for that matter.) i imagine "pulling off the emotional beats so they're as devastating to others as i imagine them in my head" is a thing many authors could relate to, though. 🤔

[bibewilderedandbuck]

Maddie's "buck is 28 and i still have my hands full." not one person is like "where..........are ur parents" they just know those fuckers dont care

incoming rant about how much buck's parents and my parents are a like......

i maintain that theory that they're perfectly fine people outside of their kids. that is sitting in my head all day long. Bc that's what my parents were like. They are members of the community, my mom was the truancy officer at my high school and she would give jobs to kids down on their luck, to fix our computers or the car or mow the lawn. kids who had to work bc their families couldn't afford for them to spend the day at school (she would go to their court hearings and testify on their behalf). or babysit kids who were in the charge of their elder ""delinquent"" siblings. she would help pay for school lunches for those who couldn't afford it and if i had a friend who didn't have a lunch she had a mini fridge with extra food. My dad wasn't around bc he worked too hard, but he would always be up for taking all of our friends to ice cream on the weekends and he would make it a point to take us individually to an outing for our bdays so he could have time with us.

but she wasn't like that with Us. and thats the point. she shoved all her catholic guilt and family trauma on to us. the amount of times i can tell you that we've had to call the cops or almost take her to the er bc she pulled some stunt bc we were "ignoring her". she cried for a YEAR when i decided i wanted to leave for college. and my sister and brother have similar stories. we were all her therapist at one point in time. talking ur mother off the ledge when you don't even realize how depressed you are is one helluva way to grow up.

i was that kid who kept getting injured and it was definitely bc i was clumsy (i spent a lot of time before the age of 15 in hospitals for all sorts of reasons). as a kid you notice real fast that you get the Right Attention when you're hurt or sick

it took me a long time to unlearn how to say fuck you to the mandatory apology she would want for hurting her feelings aka "not filling her love tank properly" and even longer to even slightly understand what a personal boundary could be since we weren't allowed to have those.

I'm only a few years younger than buck and my parents are boomers, and we share a lot of traits (adhd and the Need to be wanted and the immediate anxiety catastrophizing). Not to mention we're both queer (thank you abc). WHICH also makes for a fascinating resemblance. i'm only getting therapy, adhd testing, ssri's recently bc i'd been fighting my way to finding myself for so long. When your parents are off but no one else sees it, you are under this cloud of i need to take care of THEM so i never did any discovering for myself! Until college.

Fuck. their portrayal gets to me so much bc they are so much like my parents. they care about what other's think but not what their actions do to the children living in their house. I UNDERSTAND their grief and i UNDERSTAND their loss. But those are explanations not excuses.

my parents never wanted kids, i was an accident. And you can tell they never really thought that they would have to set aside their life, their trauma to deal with a whole new being. And that's what the buckleys did.

i have no conclusion to this lmao, i just know that i am gonna write some buckley parents stuff and imma use it to work through some things

[rueria]

hshm thoughts

things that fuck me up about tmmr (this devolved into just hcs lmao):

1. him dying 22 times to kws somehow. why. what. how did mnkm fail 22 times. like ik he was still a kid but like. 22 times.

2. him not knowing how to swim and just. letting himself drown when he's in water. at least struggle my guy

3. him not stepping on any puddles for 2 years bc he didn't want his shoes to get dirty (biting my fcking fist—)

4. him somehow not looking at any mirror for years to notice his eyes became blue?? i don't remember the reason for this one

5. him getting carried away in his hallucinations, this guy probably got into many accidents as a kid. (or not, since he's got ppl looking after him) (i think i remember apparently mnkm's the one who was always getting into accidents and tmmr would usually look after him)

6. him covering for kws. he wouldn't tell who the kappa was. and even if kws killed mnkm, he'd still cover for him. what. (ever think about how tmmr basically tried to let himself die in front of kws, knowing he'd stop him. ever think about tmmr going to meet that kappa despite the heavy rain and the midnight hour and mnkm's warnings) (in a way, you could say tmmr chose kws over mnkm 22 times) (maybe this is part of why mnkm is so reluctant to just fcking talk with him lmao) (and then their positions are reversed like ten years later...)

7. (maybe kind of a stretch) each route has him 'chaining' someone to him with smth more tangible than simply love. with mnkm, it's his stories. with kws, it's the hashihime. with hnzw, it's hell. with hks, it's his eye. (i don't wanna think about kaoru route sorry)

8. apparently it's bc of the hashihime obscuring his feelings for mnkm(?) but bro. guy just wants friends, man. he's too selfish and egoistic and dense to actually connect with people (which is why he's a perfect fit for the hashihime) until the shopkeeper literally had to force him to face his own flaws. but like. i want him to meet more people that aren't in love with him lol.

9. guy was asked to write about love, writes fcking hardcore smut, like. it's funny but also sad somehow?? brother.

10. if not his writings, then what else could another person love about him?

11. his feelings about his parents' deaths (also grandma's in mnkm's route). specifically how did he feel about his mother? for a decade, he thought "she left" and abandoned him, and it's only mnkm's route that he finds out what rly happened to her. is this why he's so desperate to cling to other ppl so they don't leave him—

12. and re: 4th point: is that why he never looked at his reflections long enough to realize his eyes literally became blue, bc looking at his face reminds him of his mom—

12.5. and knowing him, he probably didn't cry over his mother's disappearance or shown grief over it externally, and imagine how that would've made mnkm feel

12.6. "minakami really is a good friend. he couldn't even lie to his friend and tell him his mother will come back."

12.7. and did he think his mother left bc he did smth wrong? bc she was fed up with him? bc she didn't love him enough to stay?

12.8. "when my mother left, she took the umbrella she gave me, as if to erase any proof that she existed."

12.9. tmmr unconsciously trying to suppress all memories of his mother

13. him just being ridiculously and uncannily good at forgetting things in general.

14. sometimes i think about how unreal his dad's death is (being killed by a bear) and i wonder if there's smth more sinister that his mom and grandma just decided to shield him from

14.5 also the parallel of his dad getting killed by a bear and him getting killed by a kappa...

15. on that note. if you think about it, if the hashihime didn't exist from the beginning, tmmr would have really just died, huh. the only reason he's alive is that mnkm loved him enough to keep trying.

16. does tmmr have schizophrenia? or some form of psychosis? and schizophrenia is highly likely to be hereditary...

17. he hates himself and can't trust anyone who likes/loves him unconditionally... is that why hakase makes him uncomfortable afgsjdk

[starlostastronaut]

DAY 04 | IN THE DARK

PAIRING: hwang hyunjin x reader

GENRE: fluff

WC: 0.80k

CW: nothing

PROMPT: "tell me a secret"

if any of you are marauders fans and read atyd, you know exactly where i stole this prompt from lmao. that was pretty much all i had in mind when writing, and as always the prompt is more of just inspiration lol. i also wrote like half of this today in school. but anyway, enjoy cute sleepy hyune <3

title from waiting - jamie campbell bower (yt link bc its not on spotify)

general masterlist here

<< previous | mctc masterlist | next >>

You were fighting the urge to close your eyes and sleep with the last bits of energy you had left. You promised Hyunjin you would wait up for him, but he didn't show up. You ate dinner alone, receiving an apology text telling you that the practice ran late and to not wait for him because he didn't know when he would come back.

You weren’t happy, of course, but you understood. This was what it was usually like when they had to learn a new choreography. Long nights in the studio, Hyunjin coming home tired and angry at Minho and his perfectionism. By that time, you would already be asleep, and you would see him at breakfast the next day.

Today was no different. You cleaned up the plates and got ready for bed, thinking of Hyunjin, who was most likely still dancing somewhere. Determined to wait for him to come home this time, you turned on the lamp, deciding to read for a while to pass time. But just as your head hit the pillow, the exhaustion finally caught up to you, and you had to fight your entire system to keep your eyes open. Then, when you were about to succumb to the dreamland at last, you felt the bed sink. Your senses immediately alerted you and brought you to full consciousness, but soon there was a hand on your arms, rubbing up and down and coaxing you back to your sleepy state. 

“It's just me. Go back to sleep, love,” Hyunjin whispered. His touch momentarily left your skin as he took off his hoodie and tossed it away, completely disinterested in where it was going to land. Carefully to not disturb you, Hyunjin climbed into the bed properly, settling down behind your back. One of his arms travelled over your waist, prompting you to scoot back into Hyunjin's warmth. With a hum, he tightened his hold on you, pressing you even closer.

“How was your day?” you asked, desperate to stay awake for a little longer. You wanted to enjoy the time you got with Hyunjin as much as you could, because, truth be told, there hadn't been much of it lately.

“I don't know,” Hyunjin mused. “Long. Exhausting. Fun. Minho was a dick.” After each description, he pressed a soft kiss to the back of your neck. He too was relishing in these stolen moments of affection, when you belonged to him and him only. If only they didn't so frequently happen in the middle of the night. “I couldn't wait to get back home to you,” he murmured, his lips still pressed into your skin.

When you didn't respond, he assumed you fell asleep. He wouldn’t be surprised. It was actually pretty impressive that you managed to stay awake for that long, if you were to ask him. Hyunjin knew that today you had a difficult day. Your workplace had organized some sort of event (he didn't listen properly when you told him, and he was aware that that was his problem), but he could imagine how exhausting it must have been, especially for you, who really weren’t a big fan of socializing.

Hyunjin himself couldn't seem to fall asleep. He was more than content to just lay there, though, holding you safely in his arms. However, he was sure he would fall asleep soon enough. That was one of the many effects you had on him. When he was with you, he felt the most relaxed.

Suddenly, he felt you move. Without a second thought, he adjusted himself so you could lay your head on his chest. His hand came up to gently stroke through your hair. “Love? Are you awake?”

“Mmhhm.” That was all he got in terms of an answer. Hyunjin chuckled. You truly were the cutest like this, worn out and tired, but fighting sleep with all you had, just so you could spend a few more moments with him. “Hyune? Tell me a secret,” you pleaded, snuggling into his chest. Your words weren’t anything more than a sleepy murmur, but Hyunjin still heard you well enough.

Hyunjin smiled and kissed the top of your head. “You're my biggest inspiration,” he confessed. “When we're practicing a dance or recording a song, I always think about your reaction, and that motivates me to do my best.”

When he didn't receive an answer this time as well, he went to properly check. Your eyes were closed, and your chest was slightly moving, calm and steady. You were properly asleep at last. Hyunjij smiled to himself. He didn’t know if you heard him or not, but that didn't matter. He would tell you tomorrow again. But for now, he closed his eyes, surrendering himself to the land of dreams.

taglist: @stayconnecteed @saintriots @vivioluh @ivaneedssleep @jazziwritesthings

©starlostastronaut 2023 | do not repost/translate my work without permission

[musingmycelium]

21C? :)

21- "i'm sorry i can't get up" C - "nighttime"

Forests in southern Nevarra grow thick enough to blot out the sky, trees with sweetly scented needles and trunks wider around than Noure though it isn't like the last of that is hard to be right now. A wraith flickering under the moonlight. White hands dragging on knobby knees made of bark leaving dark trails behind. Perhaps even the sweetness of cypress needles in the breeze isn't going to cover the sharp smell of blood.

Wet earth grips the bottoms of their feet viciously, selfishly, unwilling to let them go. Like Noure this time in how it clings to skin and chills to the bone.

Defining oneself in opposition and similarity. Noure looks up towards the moon and raises a hand, pale skin and thin bones and red blood and silver moonlight and deep dark sky. Figures they would find themself in a cemetery when they're dying.

They've used the last of their mana to get this far and it's running out fast. Bleeding out of them through the open wound of their chest. Sinking to the base of a cypress tree Noure drapes themself over a root with as much dignity as they can manage. Even with more blood on the earth than in their body Noure can muster energy for the drama of it all. Why go out with a whimper if you must go out at all.

Noure's fingers glow but their magic is dying too. Pain closing in around their vision to turn the corners rust red and run their breathing ragged. The cypress supports them upright but just barely. Just enough.

It wouldn't do to greet a friend lying down.

A new glow in the cemetery, conjured not by the moon nor by Noure. A true ghost walking through the trees. A voice carrying like needles shifting in the wind. "Why is it every time I see you it is because you have brought trouble with you."

It isn't really a question and Noure huffs a laugh, and when they reply their own voice is weaker than the apparitions. "Good to see you too Valor. I'm sorry, it appears I can't get up." They struggle to breathe now, the words taking too much out of them too quickly.

"I can see that." Valor reaches out and strokes their arm, less real than a breeze but it leaves the hair on Noure's skin standing up. Like a friendly stike of lightning Valor is, so unlike the way Noure burns. "Did you come here for aide or peace?"

Well if Valor is blunt and stinging too then there at least Noure can say they're alike. "I think it's too late for help now." Too late for many things, maybe too late from the beginning.

Valor's hand sinks through Noure's skin and instead of a breeze it's a storm. "Not necessarily but it will be soon."

Pain doesn't just filter through their thoughts it stops them from thinking entirely. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you have a choice, to accept my aide or accept the peace of death." Valor says it simply, maybe it is. Their presence rests under Noure's skin and warms them from the inside out. Keeping the chill of the earth at bay.

Once Noure would have said no without thinking about it. There was a time saying yes would have been too easy. Now though..

Sweet cypress fills their nose, mud hardens on their soles, blood drips slowly and weakly down their chest.

Noure uses everything to lift their hand and grip Valor's arm in return. "I accept."

prompt list

[fanmoose12]

I dont know if you still do some commission prompt ideas.. but reee I have an spicy levihan prompt idea and since you are the best levihan writter I've ever found I want to share it with you!

prompt idea: It's a very hot day at survey corps. Levi and Hange work in the office doing paperwork, Hange takes off her shirt from the heat leaving only a black crop top that covers just her breasts, and very short pants. This annoys Levi and tells her to put her shirt back on, but Hange doesnt give a sh*t as she says she doesn't have many features to show so it doesnt matter. Levi thinks otherwise, and feels like an idiot for thinking that way towards his partner... but who couldn't take their eyes off those thighs and those hips?

Who wouldn't be able to think dirty if he has a sweaty Hanji in front of him giving her the sun's rays right on her face and sitting with her legs spread in such a sexy way...

Maybe the summer heat isn't what's making him hot right now...

yoooooo the prompt is so good? made me feel so hot despite the cold spring weather😳

(not actual smut bc i'm too weak to write but... as close to nsfw as i can get lmao)

It was a long day. It was a hot day, one that Levi had to spend barricaded inside his office with a giant pile of paperwork looming over him.

What made it even more unbearable was the presence of the Scout's biggest weirdo and Levi's very own best friend, Hange Zoe. She sat right beside him, just a little too close for his comfort, and was writing relentlessly, her elbow scraping against his time and time again.

The constant intrusion into his personal space made him grit his teeth, but for the sake of maintaining the fragile peace and what little composure he still had, he kept his mouth shut and continued dealing with his own share of work in hopes that it would end his torture sooner.

He wrote, wrote, wrote; the letters started to swim before his eyes, and his thoughts turned into cotton, making him slow and sluggish.

He deserved a little break, Levi decided at last, and when he lifted his head, he found that he was not the only one who fell under the influence of heat and monotonous work.

Catching his gaze, Hange flashed him a smile. She stood up, took off her jacket, discarding it on a sofa in the corner of the room, and walked up to the sink. Levi watched, expecting Hange to pour herself a glass of water or spill some on her face. Instead, she got her head under the faucet and turned the water on, wetting her hair.

"Oi, four-eyes!" he exclaimed, raising from his seat. "The fuck you're doing?"

"You look like a dirty dog," he told her, hoping that his crude words would put Hange to shame. Of course, it didn't, only made her laugh. Levi cursed his naivety.

"It's so damn hot!" Hange whined, as she emerged from under the sink, hair wet and in disarray.

He started cursing everything else - every decision, every moment of his life that had led him to this day and to this room and to Hange - a second later, when she poured a glass of water- and splashed it all over her yellow shirt.

The wet fabric got transparent almost immediately, and now clung to Hange's body like a second skin, accentuating every curve and swell. As he watched a drop of water travel down from her cheek to her neck and then dip between her breasts, Levi's own throat became dry in record time.

And then, the impossible, incredibly arousing prick had the gall to smile and wink at him, "Hey, Captain? Fancy a glass of water?"

If only Hange knew just how he thirsty he was, enough that he was ready to lick the water from her skin.

He could imagine it so vividly - pressing his mouth to her neck and then making a wet trail starting from her collarbone and ending at the jaw. He shivered, both disgusted by his thoughts and horrified at the effect Hange had on him.

The summer heat was getting to him, it was obvious. There was no other way to explain his sudden dizziness and unexpected tightness in his pants.

Levi swallowed and plopped back into the chair, hiding the unfortunate reaction of his body from the view.

Hange sauntered back to her seat a moment later, and Levi - oh, how optimistic he could be sometimes - decided that this particular torture was already over, and Hange turned back to being Hange, a weirdo, a pain in the ass and best friend, who was exactly that - a friend. Not- not someone he wished to fuck like there was no tomorrow.

It was just summer heat, and it was turning him a little crazy. He'd laugh about it when the day was over and everything returned to the way it always was. The itch beneath his skin would vanish like it was never there in the first place. He'd once again would be able to look at Hange and there would be no desire to rip her clothes off.

It was just a summer heat, those weird feelings would disappear along with it.

---

For the next few hours, it seemed like everything indeed was coming back to its orbit. As Levi kept his eyes strictly fixed on a piece paper in front of him, the only feelings four-eyes provoked in him was slight irritation at her constant huffing and confusion at her unintelligible murmuring.

So his bewildering reaction to Hange was truly nothing, just a short-lived clouding of mind. Levi was relieved.

But not for long.

Levi snatched one of the papers he had ruined by making a mistake and took it in his hands, forming a small ball that would soon be thrown at Hange's messy mop of hair.

When the clock hand reached mid-day, Hange let out a long and loud groan. "This heat is killing me!" she cried out. "I feel like my skin is melting, I can't take it anymore!"

He raised his hand and shifted in his seat, taking aim. He froze and faltered as soon as Hange appeared in his line of sight.

She was... taking off her clothes. Already out of her pants, she was doing a quick work of her shirt.

Levi stared, his mouth watering.

"Sorry, Levi," she said upon noticing his gaze, and completely misinterpreting it. "I know it's inappropriate and blah, blah, blah but it's so hot that I can't even think straight."

Yeah, Levi shared the sentiment, he too couldn't quite think straight. The only thing that was on his mind was Hange, the patches of naked skin she kept unravelling and the overwhelming desire to touch her - with his hands, his lips and teeth.

"Four-eyes," his voice was hoarse, too quiet, too restrained. Levi called upon every bit if will that he had to stop himself from devouring his friend. "Put your clothes back on. It's fucking -" distracting, "disgusting."

"Yeah, yeah, we all know how awful I am." Yes, she was awful indeed, torturing Levi like that and having not a single clue of the effect she had on him. "If it makes you feel better, I can close the door, so some poor cadet wouldn't walk in here and get a stroke from witnessing how terribly gross I am."

Without waiting for his answer - not that Levi could really give it, certainly not in the state that he was in - she went to the door to lock it.

He watched her - the subtle sway of her hips, the strong muscles of her back; if before his throat was dry, now he was salivating.

He didn't think, felt like he was put under some spell, one that stopped him from being rational, cool-headed. It was just summer heat, he came up with a weak reasoning, as to why he rose to his feet and his legs started moving, approaching Hange.

She didn't see notice him, fumbling with the lock, until he was standing right behind her.

The sound of lock coming into place seemed thunderous, but Levi didn't let silence linger for too long, and wrapped an arm around Hange's sweaty, naked and pleasantly cold waist. His lips hovered above her right shoulder. Before he pressed them to her skin, he pleaded, "Please, stop me."

But Hange didn't.

The kiss was scorching hot, worse and so much better than the heat, Levi relished in it. He picked Hange up, let her wrap legs around him and, without breaking the kiss, carried her back to the table.

With a shocking fierceness and readiness, she turned around and pulled him into a kiss.

"The paperwork!" she screeched, before Levi lowered her down.

"Fuck the paperwork," he growled, holding Hange to him with one arm and using another to throw away everything that was on the damn table. "Fuck the heat," he continued, as he sat her down and pushed on her sternum, making her lie down. He started at her navel and went up from there, peppering the skin of her abdomen with wet kisses. "And fuck..."

"Me?" Hange asked breathlessly, hope transparent. She pushed herself upright once more, hands quick, insistent and extremely efficient in pulling off his jacket, then his shirt.

She was fighting with his zipper, obviously losing, when Levi took her hands in his, guided them behind her back and skimmed out of his pants himself. Hange's whistled lowly, clearly apreciating every bit of view before her.

"Big where it matters, Levi?"

Hange shivered, her anticipation palpable. Levi smirked, before proceeding to pull the panties off her.

The joke was awful, embarrassing, it made the tips of his ears burn. Levi quickly distracted Hange from it by creating a new trail of kisses, the one that now started from the place where her top ended and trailed down her stomach, stopping a little below her panties.

"You were saying something about me fucking you?"

She nodded, eagerly, and that long, hot day Levi found a new way to battle off the heat.

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

not jealous | jake sim

summary: jake sim is not a jealous person. at least that's what he tells himself. so why does he find himself going through your phone when a certain "bluejay park" decides to text you?

pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. mentions of jay park]

genre: angst, fluff 

warnings: angst, cursing (very minimal), one slightly suggestive sentence, jake being cute, some more angst lol, slightly cheesy bc jake’s just too cute ugh

wc: 3.8k

a/n: ok i loved writing this, which is why i went on to almost 4k words LOL oops. but anyways, i love jake a little too much and this type of scenario has been running around in my head for a while now so i decided to put it into words. also i may have created this blog just so i could post this somewhere LMAO anyways yeah this was my first fic so hope you guys enjoyyyy <3

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

At least that's what he tells himself. To be fair, in his past relationships, he never showed any jealously. Then again, he doesn't know if he can call those relationships, "relationships". Does a fifth grade relationship with a girl who he was once dared to kiss during a game of Truth or Dare in the basement of a classmate's house during their 11th birthday party count? He doesn't remember being jealous when the same girl was later dared to kiss his classmate, Sunghoon. (Funny enough, that's how the two boys came to be best friends 'til this day, but that's a story for another time.) 

But really, Jake doesn't think jealously is one of his traits, even if he's now almost 20 years old without any experience with love other than his current relationship with you and that short-lived romance in the fifth grade. (What was her name again? Jake would have to ask Sunghoon later.)

So he doesn't know what clicked in that brain of his that lead him to this current situation he was in. He doesn't know why he felt a little spark of anger in him when your phone, which you left right next to him on the couch while you went to take a shower, kept buzzing with texts from "bluejay park". He doesn't know why he couldn't kept his eyes distracted from the messages, although your phone was constantly lighting up because whatever it was Jay had to say to you, he would not shut up about it. He doesn't know why he questioned what your relationship with Jay was for a split second.

In fact, you're close with all of Jake's friends. That's one of his favorite things about you, you get along so well with all his friends you might as well replace Jake himself in the friend group. So he doesn't know what tells him to take a little glance at your phone—at the messages.

But he finds himself doing it anyways.

Hearing that the water in the shower was still running (you were always the type to take long showers), he quickly grabs your phone and scrolls through the lock screen just to find that he couldn't even read the messages since you had your notifications set so no one could read them unless the phone was unlocked (darn you and your settings!) Thankfully, Jake knew your passcode––and you knew his too––or he thought he did. Until the iPhone vibrated, telling him the passcode was wrong.

He must've entered it too fast or something. So he tries again.

And again.

And again.

Until the iPhone switches its screen to say: "iPhone is disabled. Try again in 5 minutes."

There's no way. You never change your password. And even if you did, you would tell him—you two even had each other's fingerprints saved into each other's phones in the past (you know, before the world decided that Apple's home button was too lame and decided to just completely get rid of it). If there was an option to save multiple faces for Face ID, you two would be that couple that saved each others faces in your own phones.

That being said, Jake sat there, your phone in hand, frozen. Why was your phone locked? Why was Jay texting you 10 texts per second? Why did he feel guilty about this entire situation?

He hears the shower switch off and in that moment, he swears he feels his heart beat just a little faster. He tells himself there's no way you'll be out before the 5 minutes are up. You followed a really meticulous skincare routine (one that Jake memorized by now) that took an extra 15 minutes of your time after each shower.

"Hey Jake?" Your voice calls out from the tiny bathroom door crack that you left open before you hopped in the shower, "Is my phone out there? Do you mind bringing it to me?"

Fuck.

Jake shifts on the couch. Taps his foot on the ground. Returns your phone to its original spot. Clears his throat.

"Don't you want to get dressed first?" he calls back, quite timidly.

He can hear you stop moving around in the bathroom. Probably telling yourself what an odd response that was. To be fair, it was an odd question, considering the fact that you two have been together for so long, it’s not like he hasn’t seen you undressed before...intentionally or not. 

Next thing he knows, the steam is rolling out of the bathroom door and you're stepping out in your towel, eyebrows raised.

"If you didn't want to get up from the couch, you could've just said so, you lazy butt," you smirk at him as you walk towards him and the couch, leaving a faint trail of water drops behind you. Jake's eyes follow your figure as you go to grab your phone and lift the screen towards yourself.

That's when he freezes. You do too.

You cock your head, as if asking yourself why it was disabled. He can hear the gears in your head turning.

"Jake, did you try to unlock my phone?"

He runs through all the possible excuses he could blurt out. Come on Jake, think of something! But he knows he can't lie to you.

Too many beats of silence pass by.

"Maybe," he finally says—or more like murmurs. He looks up to you like a child looking up at their mom, who just them caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. To his surprise, you don't show any hint of anger. A flash of confusion—and is that worry he sees?—crosses your face for a split second before you shrug and turn towards your room to change, dropping the subject. It was natural for you two to use each other's phones anyways. So then why did you have that look of worry?

Jake knows you well, a little too well. But that's what you love about him. He can easily read all your emotions. One of the many things he picked up from dating you for almost two years now. But why would you care if he tried to get into your phone? Why would that worry you? All the possibilities run through head and his own worry begins to increase. He trusts you. He does.

So then why does the thought bother him throughout the entire day? Why does he bring it up during dinner later that night, when you're both cuddled on your sofa, slurping take-out ramen while rewatching your favorite k-drama under the thick blanket that you always keep in your living room for nights like these?

"Huh? Of course I've heard from Jay today, we had that conversation about that stupid meme you boys kept laughing about in the groupchat we're all in, didn't we?" You answer him when he asks if you've heard from Jay lately. You sit up from your warm spot under Jake's arm to put your empty bowl on the coffee table in front of you. When you lean back, you look up at him,

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's nothing, just wondering," he says, avoiding your eyes by keeping his own trained on the series currently playing on your TV. This would be your third time rewatching this series together. He would never complain to you though, he knows how much you love it and if he were being honest, he was secretly attached to the characters—not that he would ever tell you, he would never hear the end of it from you and the boys.

"You're being weird. Just tell me, or did you forget that I can practically read your mind," you say with a giggle and shove to his side, the one you were currently warmly cuddled into. Jake wasn't the only one who learned how to read emotions; you could read him just as well as he could read you. And like you, that's one of the many things he loved about you. But maybe not in this case.

He toyed around with the contents inside his ramen bowl with his chopsticks.

"I just..." God, how does he word this? Why was he having trouble explaining it? You were the easiest person to talk to. To him, you were the only person he could tell everything to.

"Jaywastextingyouabunchearlier," he blurts out quickly, but not quickly enough for you to miss it.

He feels you shift under his arm. He feels the air in the room shift. Tension.

"What?" Now you're sitting upright, legs criss-crossed in front of you on the couch but turned, so your body is completely facing him. He mirrors you, sitting up to put his ramen bowl next to yours on the surface, but he stays facing the TV.

"Your phone kept going off because of him when you were showering," he says with a little more confidence. But inside, he was nervous as hell, the same nervous as when he asked you out for the first time many moons ago. But it's too late to back out now, he brought it up first, anyways. Guess we're having this conversation now, good going Jake!

"Is that why you tried unlocking my phone earlier? I mean I thought you were just trying to leave selfies on my phone like you always do but you were trying to read my texts?" You question, slightly raising your soft voice. He doesn't know how to react, he hates confrontation.

"It wasn't like that, Jay just kept spamming you and like I—why was he even texting you in the first place? Then your phone got disabled because you changed your password, which you never do by the way, so I–"

"I changed it because my little sister kept getting into my phone when I went to visit my family yesterday! Did you really think I was hiding something from you? You know I can text whoever I want, right? You don't own me."

Okay so now he's managed to make you angry. Good going Jake, part 2!

"Okay but what does Jay need from you so bad that he has to send you like 50 messages at once?" He's standing now. So are you, eyebrows furrowed together as you collect your bowls from the table.

Standing there, bowls in hand, you say, "Jake, that's none of your business! It wasn't even that big of a deal, I don't know why you felt the need to nosy around."

"Well, if he's texting you non-stop, then obviously it's a big deal! We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you would just tell me what you guys were talking about," he murmurs back, eyes narrowing. You scoff as you trail into your kitchen. He follows behind and stops at the other side at your kitchen island as you place the dirty dishes into the sink.

"No, we're having this conversation because you obviously don't trust me! It doesn't matter what we were talking about, it doesn't matter who I was texting! I could be texting your mother and I shouldn't have to tell you what we were talking about! That's why we're having this conversation," you say as you turn back to face him from the other end.

He hates this. He hates fighting with you (which is a very, very rare occasion). He hates that you think he doesn't trust you. He hates his insecurity eating at him, telling him to keep questioning you on why you and Jay were talking in the first place. He was aware that you were close with his friends, but it wasn't until the texts he realized just how close you are with them. It's not that he didn't trust you, he just didn't know how to act when it came to you and other guys. God knows how he got lucky enough to meet you, let alone date you, so the thought of him losing you to someone else actually terrified him. Not only were you his first real relationship, but he wanted you to be his first and only one in life. You were it for him.

"Why did he text you." He deadpans from his side of the kitchen.

You scoff with a hint of exasperation. "You're kidding me."

You stare at him. He stares back, quirking an eyebrow, as if restating the same question back, as if testing you.

You're fuming now. Why was he making it so hard? Why was he doubting you? Out of frustration, you start laughing, which scares him. That can't be good.

"Fine. You wanna know so bad? Take a look,"  you're one tone level away from screaming as you take your phone out of your pocket, unlock it, and open up your conversation with "bluejay park", sliding the phone across the island to reach him.

Jake stares at the phone which now lies there, unlocked, facing him. Isn't this what he wanted? It is, right? That's why he started this dreaded argument with you in the first place.

Then why does he feel so fucking awful?

He looks back up at you, to see you sighing and looking up at the ceiling, as if trying to force your forming tears back into your eyes.

Yup, he feels horrible.

"Happy? Happy to know we were just trying to plan a surprise birthday party for you but you and your jealously just had to know huh, Jake?" You quickly state, voice cracking, as you tried not to choke up. You weren't sad that he found out about the surprise. You were sad that it felt like he didn't trust you. That he thought you were the type of person to do god knows what behind his back. You hated the feeling of not being trusted. Especially by Jake, of all people.

"Fuck."

Jake's face (and heart) falls with the most broken expression you've ever seen. But you're too sad, angry, tired (a mix of all?) to care. Your only goal right now is to not let him see you cry.

You hurry past him, across your apartment, and into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you, leaving behind a shocked, and regretful, Jake.

His heart shrinks when he hears the door slam shut and a little more when he looks down at the still unlocked phone in front of him. He didn't have the heart in him to look at it anymore. Of course he trusted you, he knew what you said was the truth.

He mentally screams at himself for assuming the worst––for thinking that you, a literal angel, would betray him.  First, he thought he was losing you to someone else. Now, he was afraid he just lost you through his own actions. 

He hesitantly sulks over to your door, softly knocking when he reaches it.

"Y/N?"

No response.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I let my—”

"Jake just please leave me alone for now," he hears you painfully say from a distance, meaning you're on your bed. He knows the door's unlocked—the lock on your door hasn't been working for a long time now, despite the many times he tells you to talk to your landlord about it. But he doesn't find it in him to open it. He knows he messed up. If he saw you in there right now, crying, he wouldn't know what to do. He wouldn't know what he would to do himself, knowing he was the reason behind your tears.

He nods in silence, knowing you can't see him, but does so anyways and returns to his spot on the couch. He could leave right now, go back to the dorm with the rest of the guys, let you have your space like you wanted. But his heart hurts at the idea of leaving you sad, angry, or a combination of both. He can't leave this unresolved. He fucked up, he has to fix it.

And so he sits on your couch for another hour. The clock on the wall behind him continues to tick as the silent tension in your apartment continues to grow. When it hits 11pm and he's sure you've slumbered off into sleep, he quietly enters your room.

He can see your figure in the dark, your back facing the door as you're curled up into yourself under the comforter. He feels his heart drop a little more when he imagines you crying in that position from earlier. He slowly peels the comforter open and gets into his side of the bed, careful not to bother your sleeping figure.

Laying there, staring up at the ceiling, he's never felt more like a stranger in your bed. It's not that he hasn't slept over before, god knows he's probably slept over at your place more than he has in his own bed. But right now, in this moment, he just felt awful. Like he didn't deserve to be in such close proximity to you. How could he be deserving? He violated your privacy, made you feel like you weren't trusted, doubted your relationship.

These thoughts run through Jake's head as he stares up at your ceiling fan, wishing he could turn back time to a few hours ago, before he checked your phone, before he let his insecurities get to the best of him.

You can feel the dip he makes in the bed behind you when he gets in. Of course you're not asleep. There's no way sleep could reach you when you had the recent events constantly replaying in your head like a broken record.

You knew Jake with all your heart. You didn't have to look at him to know he was probably laying there, hurt, staring up at the ceiling, drafting what to say once you wake up—or once he knows you're actually still awake.

You decide to break the tension by turning to lay on your other side, facing him.

You were wrong. Thanks to the little sliver of moonlight shining through your sheer curtains, you can see him, now laying on his side, already looking at you with so much regret in his eyes. You can almost hear the cracks in your heart physically forming.

His eyes widen when he realizes you're still awake. He opens his mouth to say something, but not before you quickly shift over to his side of the bed and embrace him in a tight hold, burying your face into his chest. Without any hesitation, he returns the gesture, arms holding your body as close to him as possible. As if once he let go, he'd lose you forever.

He lets out a sigh of relief as he breathes you in. He didn't even know he was holding his breath all this time.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Y/N," he mutters into your hair. He feels his hoodie getting wet from where you buried your face. He pulls you closer, if that's even possible, feeling his own eyes heating up with sadness. He would never forgive himself for making you feel this way.

"You know I trust you right? Please know that. I shouldn't have assumed the worst when I saw your phone. I...I let my insecurities get to the best of me."

You move your head from its home on his chest to look up at him, as if asking him to elaborate. This was new to you, you didn't know he held insecurities in your relationship. But it wasn't because of you, no, you were his entire world. Losing you meant losing everything.

Jake's never been the best at saying his feelings. That's why it took him so long (with the help of his six best friends) to finally confess how he felt about you. He was afraid of letting people in if they could easily walk out. Maybe that's why he never let anyone into his life before you. But oh, were you an exception. The second he met you, he knew he was fucked. But thank god he did, because thanks to you, he's been able to be more open, more vulnerable. He's able to talk to you about anything and everything. He doesn't have that same fear of losing people anymore, not when he has you in his life to reassure him every step of the way. But right now, in this moment, he doesn't know how to tell you that his new fear was, in fact, just losing you.

The sheer idea of you not being a part of his life anymore terrified him. 

"I hope you know you're never going to lose me Jake, if that's what you're insecure about," you softly mutter as you wrap your free arm that's not stuck in between both your bodies around him to gently play with the ends of his hair. It's as if you could read his mind, he loves that you know him so well.

"It just sucks that you could even think I would ever do something as awful as what you were assuming...with one of your closest friends nonetheless," you continue.

"I know. I know, and I feel terrible. I'm so sorry. I know you would never do anything remotely close to that, and I know you would never intentionally try to keep anything from me," he sighs. He shifts so he can lie down on his back, bringing you with him to lie on his chest, never letting you go once. "It's just...I just don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you Y/N. Everyday, I ask myself what heroic thing I must've done in my past life to deserve this life with you and I can't help but think you could just as easily be stripped away from me."

As much as your heart breaks listening to him rant, you feel your love for him grow even more. You knew how hard it was for him to put his true emotions into words, and him telling you this reminded you how much trust he had in you.

After some moments of silence, moments of him drawing random shapes onto your back, moments of you two just holding each other like it was the end of the world, you speak up.

"I love you. I'm sorry for making you doubt yourself—"

"No, it's not your fault, I can't help but think things like that. I just don't know what I did to deserve you, and I know that I need to be mo–"

"Babe let me finish," you say with a little giggle in your tone. He immediately stops and mutters a little "sorry". How cute, you tell yourself.

"I was gonna say," you look back up at him so you're making direct eye contact now. "You're the only one that's ever on my mind, Jake. I can't help the way you think, but I can assure you that there is no one else I would rather be with. And I mean that for the rest of life."

You snuggle back into the comfortable hoodie he's currently wearing (you make a mental note to yourself to steal it from him later) and decide to ease the tension,

"So you're stuck with me for life, sorry to inform you Mr. Sim."

Jake lets out a laugh, looking down at you to see you returning his smile with a cheeky one.

"I love you. So much," he says so sincerely, so genuinely, that you almost tear up again from how content you were. Now you were asking yourself, what did you do to deserve him?

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

No, he just loves you.

A lot.

[hajimescutie]

Hello!! I was wondering if I could request headcannons for seijoh 4 with an s/o who has gotten a really high mark on a very important test (like for university exams and stuff) they had, and just them being really proud and happy of reader 🥺

I recently got my mark and I was really happy about it bc I had MULTIPLE breakdowns about it and a lot of anxiety/panic attacks about the exam, the exam has chemistry, maths, biology, and physics for all the topics we took in hs so u can guess how overwhelmed I was 🥴.

Anyways I showed my parents my score and they said good job and that was it so I felt... idk a little upset. I've wanted to go out and celebrate and maybe buy myself a congratulatory gift but I haven't been able to :/

So I was wondering how seijoh 4 would celebrate with there s/o for their achievement!! I hope this isn't too much!! And I hope you have a great day/night ❤️❤️

# — seijoh 4 with an s/o who got good grades

includes: seijoh 4 x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none

a/n: hi lovely!! first of all, i’m so proud of you 🤩🤩 as someone who’s in university, exam season is so damn stressful. here is my achievement gift for you bby 😚 and pls make sure one of these days to treat yourself! you 100% deserve it. n e ways i hope u like this <3 also so sorry this took so long!

main masterlist aoba johsai masterlist

OIKAWA:

please he would be so so excited!

as soon as he got the text saying you passed, even though he knew you would, he pulled out the flowers and some of your favorite treats!

to celebrate your academic achievement, he thought it'd be nice to treat you to a movie night!

he knew you wouldn't be home for at least an hour or two

but he got to work so quick

tooru knew how hard you worked to get where you are now

countless nights with minimal sleep

a little too much caffeine

staying after hours at school in order to study

the pretty setter did his best in order to support you and make you feel like you could do anything

when he was done setting the stage, he felt pretty accomplished

mans is so extra

would literally buy fairy lights, build a fort, have several bowls of snacks and several bottles of drinks

but if it's to celebrate you and your success?

he would do it again in a heartbeat

you 100% burst into tears when you came home

"y/n-chan! i'm so proud of you!"

"i told you, you would pass!"

"even though we all know i'm smarter-"

the last thing he saw was a pillow flying at his face

he was still happy for you nonetheless!

IWAIZUMI:

hajime would literally wait outside your classroom for you to finish your test

mans would be nervous too!

anything that's important to you is important to him

regardless of the outcome, he'll always be proud of you and your hard work

but good news!

he knew you passed as soon as he the brightest smile creep onto your lips

would 100% pick you up and spin you while mumbling how proud of you he is

"i knew you could do it, doll!"

"you let that dumbass brain of yours psych you out when you know you're smart"

"hey! i'm only saying facts- don't hit me!!"

he decided to take you out to dinner, ice cream, and stargazing <3

not like a super fancy dinner but somewhere casual where you both could be together and enjoy each other's company

you would talk about how the test went with him, the concepts you did and didn't understand, how you think you did

he would listen so attentively

all he could do was smile

hajime felt his heart soar the entire time

he knows you're able to accomplish anything you put your mind to

this man could write a book on how happy he is for you

lmao he probably wrote somewhere in his notes how proud he is of you

you can't change my mind on that

you're so precious to him, and for him to see you so excited and happy makes him feel giddy

he loves you so much, and he couldn't be prouder to have someone as special as you by his side :)

MATSUKAWA:

just like hajime, issei would be waiting for you outside your classroom while you finished your test

but he was way more nervous than you were

which confused him because it was your test

maybe the suspense?

anyway

issei knew how important passing this test was for you

unfortunately, you had encountered multiple mental breakdowns while preparing for said test

but your boyfriend was with you the entire way

he supported you and helped you every chance he got

even though he wasn't that good at the subject you were taking

it's the thought that counts

when he heard people coming out from your classroom, the last thing he saw was you trampling over to his tall figure and latching yourself onto him

"i passed 'sei! i passed!!!"

would pepper kisses all over your cute lil face

he felt like his heart was going to pop out of his chest

issei would go all out with celebrating your achievement!

you deserved a break!

he took you to the amusement park, took you out to dinner, got some dessert at your favorite bakery, and ended the day with watching your favorite movies

issei is so cheesy you can't tell me otherwise

before you both went to bed he would tell you how proud he is of you, how he never doubted that you would pass, how much he loves you and can't wait for you to move on with your career, the list goes on

you're important to him, and he wouldn't want anyone else

HANAMAKI:

omggggg

hiro wanted to do anything and everything in order to celebrate your achievement!

hiro knows you're smart

you're smarter than him and his dumbass friends combined

you can't tell me that you wouldn't come home and already see your favorite food made, a bouquet of your favorite flowers, even a cake that said 'congrats' on it!

hiro is so cute

the pink-haired male wanted to put his all in making you understand that all of your hard work paid off!

it broke his heart to see you so stressed over your exams

he wanted to help, he really did

but he wasn't as smart as you lol

so, the next best thing was to support you in any way he could

he would 100% tease you about how stressed you were

"see! you were worrying over nothing!"

"come on babe, you can't tell me you didn't know you were gonna pass"

"what do you mean?! you're the smartest person i've ever met!"

despite the teasing, hiro was so proud of you

while you were eating, he couldn't help but stare at you lovingly

he couldn't believe someone as intelligent, hardworking, and beautiful could be with someone like him

he loves you with his whole being, and he'll do anything in order to make you happy

reblogs are appreciated! <3

©hajimescutie 2021, all rights reserved

[morvantmortuary]

Man I want to ask everything but I think I will just go for these: ⛰💁

(I'm delighted you asked me anything! thank you, Nonny <3

this got long, but not as long as the last one, I promise!

⛰️-  What was the hardest part?

this is probably pretty obvious for how fucking long it took me, but I'd say spellbound (reprise). I'd thought the Masquerade had been hard up until that point, but jesus, the idea of having to bring it all home and tie it off successfully terrified me. There were lots of things I wanted to make sure I set up for later, but then I wanted to make sure I closed all the things that needed closing in a way that didn't just feel like a cop-out. I think I rewrote the damn thing six times, each time adding a piece that I felt it needed if I wanted it to have any symmetry whatsoever. I have a Hector and Rora segment that I ended up having to cut entirely, as much as I loved it, because I didn't know what half it should go with when I realized I'd have to post it in two without totally wrecking the pace I was trying to keep. I'm planning on posting it separately later, just because I think it's a really interesting look through Hex's perspective, but I feel it's pretty emblematic of how difficult it felt at times to figure out what elements to bring forward and which ones I had to tie off as everyone shifts roles. I don't know how the fuck I thought I was going to have all of this done by Halloween, what the fuck self lmao.

I was also just exhausted from my semester, and kind of having to balance concluding my work for my students with just generally being at a point where everything but writing felt like it hurt because I was so burnt out. I was honestly really nervous when I was writing this at times, because I couldn't tell if I was happy with it before I posted it, or if I was just exhausted here too. And if even writing was starting to feel like it hurt, what was I going to have left?

I think I'm mostly pretty content with it - Maxi and Reader's conversations in that chapter are some of my favorites in the whole Arc - but I think if you gave it to me over again, I'm sure I'd find something I'd want to tweak, or do again slightly to the left. It might even look different when I try to tie it all together in the manuscript version for a pitch contest, we'll just have to see. But for now, I'm pretty okay with it, for it being my first Arc ending and all. :)

💁- Did readers influence change any part of this story?

Hector was supposed to be so awful! He really was supposed to be my main antagonist as the would-be golden boy of They Who Decide, as some of y'all probably guessed when I wrote the Voicemail chapter. Before that, he'd already shifted in my notes from an ER trauma surgeon who maimed and mangled his patients internally on purpose, to a crime scene photographer who was caught meddling with scenes because he couldn't help himself around blood, to finally just being a spirit/Remembrance photographer who also moved around a lot from place to place bc he kept fucking up and attracting attention to himself. I was originally going to have him kidnap the Reader from their house after Maxi told them the truth about the Curse, which was going to lead to a showdown between the two and Rora in a location I wound up cutting from this Arc bc it took too much moving around. But around the same time I was deciding the Reader needed to be the one to have a showdown with Maxi (playing with the Final Girl tradition), I was getting a lot of feedback that people really liked Hector. I mean, I'm sure his fc being Diego Luna helped lmao, but also people just seemed to dig him in a way I hadn't expected! I didn't want to set people up to like him only to have him turn out to be a total fucking monster (although, I dunno, I guess that could have made for an interesting plot twist??), so I started slowly walking him back a bit as I got to know his backstory/figured out his arc for later. Then the longer he kept talking, the more I realized he was just a big space cadet with rage issues and a murder problem, and here we are. :'D Congrats, you guys, you got him an arc!

He and Rora were also supposed to be in a really toxic co-dependent relationship, when I first started planning for them. They're definitely still very close, as we'll see in some flashbacks down the line, but now they're more like mutually exasperated siblings than what I had planned originally. Which is maybe for the best, bc I wasn't even sure how I was going to post some of the things I had planned lmao.

He and Maxi also turned out to be way more dependent on each other than I thought, rather than the original total break-up aftermath I had planned for them. We'll get a look at their relationship too as we go on - they're close in a different way than Hector and Rora or Maxi and Rora, and the way they've been constantly pitted against each other through their childhoods as the two only/oldest sons of twin brothers who both wanted to secure their legacy with They Who Provide has a lot to do with how they see themselves and each other now.

thanks for your interest, nonny, I super appreciate it and I hope this answered your questions! <3)

[limelocked]

Quick rundown of sapnap's visit as I watch it for you bc this entire lore stream was unplanned (it's "Working on new lands" in sapnap's vods)

- sapnap follows all of sam's instructions like immediately to the point where it's kind of cute. He says he's "not sure if he's my dream anymore"

- they get to the lava lake and before Sam lets sapnap cross, he says "good luck getting him to talk". Sapnap is the first person I've seen who didn't freak out while crossing the bridge.

- there's crying obsidian in the walls.

- he gets to dream and dream passes him a book that says "I'm not talking". Sapnap asks why, and asks if dream is sad. Dream doesn't respond, just passes the book back with no edits.

- dream puts the clock on the wall. The clock is labelled "DO NOT BURN".

- dream passes sapnap a book that says "you took so long". Sapnap tells dream that he hurt him, and that it took him a little bit to decide to come and see him. Sapnap says "you're better than this". Dream doesn't respond

- "if you can talk to anyone you can talk to me". Dream tells sapnap he's on strike. Sapnap asks why, dream doesn't reply. Sapnap asks him why the cell looks so run down. Dream writes that "it's a security measure"

- sapnap tells dream he should talk to him, tells him that he has to stay here for now. Dream writes "I'll get out someday" and Sapnap says no, dream has to stay, and that he loves him but this is where he belongs for now. He expresses hope that one day dream will be released.

- dream writes "I spent days. I broke the lecturn, I was making a portal, and he did this" meaning that the crying obsidian was implimented so dream couldn't turn the cell into a portal.

- sapnap tells him he can't try and escape, says he misses dream, but what dream did means he belongs here for now. He says he'll visit dream, that they'll still be friends and that he's sorry, but he has to stay.

- dream burns the clock. Sapnap tries to stop him, fails and says that his time in the prison is gonna suck, but dream can get through it. Dream writes "eventually".

- sapnap says "I don't think you're leaving here". Dream tosses the "eventually" book back. Sapnap says no, passes it back and dream passes it straight back. This goes on for a bit.

- "what you did, the things you did, this is what got you here. So you've got to sit here until— however long you need to be. And if you try and break out early, dream, you only have one life left. I don't think it's gonna be tommy, I don't think it's gonna be techno, dream. If you break out of this prison, it's gonna be me who takes your final life."

- dream asks sapnap to pass a message. Sapnap asks to who, dream tells him "he stopped visiting". Sapnap asks who again. Dream says ranboo, and asks sapnap to say ":)"

- sapnap agrees, assuming it's harmless. Chat is freaking the fuck out. Dream says "thank you". Sapnap says he doesn't have to talk, but he'll only pass the message if dream stops throwing his clocks away. Dream verbally agrees for the first time this stream, passing the book back with "yes" written as well.

- sapnap promises to visit more, and asks if dream wants george to visit. Dream passes the book back, confirming he wants to see george and asking sapnap to tell Sam that he needs a new clock.

- dream gives sapnap a signed thank you for visiting book.

- sapnap asks sam who the last person to see dream was, and asks when it was. Sam says it was ranboo, and that the visit was "quite a while ago now".

- sam asks if dream told him anything other than "yes". Sapnap lies and says no, and sam obstructs sapnap's spawn point bed, tells him it's weird that dream would only talk to him, so he'll have to run back to the prison gates. Sam kills him and sends him back to spawn.

- sapnap messages ranboo, and ranboo comes online. They get in VC and Sapnap tells ranboo that he and karl have been building their own place. Ranboo warns them about the hole he dug

- they meet in the community house. Sapnap says that dream doesn't talk anymore and that he was told ranboo was the last person to see him. Ranboo says he doesn't remember, because he doesn't write down what happens when he visits dream, because he doesn't want to remember.

- sapnap tells ranboo that dream wanted him to pass him a message, and dms ranboo the smiley face. Ranboo stops talking, and appears to go into the ender walk state. Sapnap watches him run off for a bit, confused, before going to look for him.

- sapnap ends stream after failing to find ranboo.

God this was a lot lmao

this is such a good recap post tf, not gonna answer too much because this deserves to be in the main tag as like reference material but i read this after i watched the stream as died a lil