#this took me ten yrs lol

[aztarion]

Give me some fun facts about Soledad rn or I’ll do something…dunno what yet…

im sorry i took so long getting to this T_T thank you for asking!!! this went off-road many times with me overthinking it i just couldn't save it but hopefully it's still readable, i tried to do a mix of character and meta while not repeating anything from prev asks and then it kind of morphed into a weird bio lmao

her full name is Solona ‘Sol’ ‘Soledad’ Castillo; born 1/11/72 and raised in soledad, california, until her parents moved to sierra vista, arizona. died embraced 1/11/98, so forever 26 (and chronologically a fresh 48 during the events of Night Road).

by that time in 2020 her mom and dad have both passed and her older brother is 52; he runs their dad’s mechanical repair workshop there. she absolutely still does the sad little drive-by late at night every couple of months if she's in the area on a job (surgical mask on and hood up of course). i hc that julian, while keeping an occasional spying eye on her during the 10 yr absence, also looks out for her brother and sends business his way unbeknown to her lol

she ended up 3/3 fully blood bonded to julian in the beginning while they worked for the cam, and julian was 2/3 bonded to her. his “wasn't it romantic?” comment -- yeah literally too romantic, get back to work and feed the big underground nosferatu both of you 😤 i like that headcanon personally as another reason why he would cut contact so suddenly with sol when they were in a relationship — to break the bond on both sides; he could obsess strictly over 2100X and her desires would be completely her own again

another headcanon i'm sorry... after the diablerie of aila and the intense guilt that came with the act, plus julian (her sire) abandoning her and essentially straining and forcing their bond to fade, she gains the bulimia derangement. i paired that with the siren predator type lmfao. so very um dramatic all around when shes having a bad night. she restricts to bagged blood for like ten years working as a courier and just resigns herself to being perpetually dour and unsatisfied. i like to write her easygoing and much more lively when she's with julian during their work for the local camarilla, like the reality of her new condition hasn’t really sank in because omg julian's sooo fun and woah this world is crazy but at least julian's here he's gonna change everything or something (she believed in his vision and ideals even if she didn't fully grasp the scope at that time -- like she was on board at least. bless her she had 2 intelligence). she then becomes very muted pre-night road while the bond fades and the uglier, lonelier facets of being a vampire surface; having to pull together an independent undead existence for herself, trying to control her beast while feeding exclusively on bagged blood as job payment, then a little more tearing at the seams upon arriving in tucson during night road (resentment, guilt, anger, desire, longing, hunger for something that won't have a plastic aftertaste, all rushing back and blurring together at once; not so good a grasp on those when she’s been keeping herself numb and isolated and constantly on the move for a decade). behind everything she is desperate for connection

she has a good control on her beast thanks to that (monastic? lmao) decade (and high willpower/composure/resolve), until returning to tucson and stirring aila’s presence; the strange link to lettow, julian showing up, old memories and feelings that aren't even always her own now gathering on this very carefully crafted veneer like plaque. also suddenly having a ghoul and her own assets to worry about kind of freaks her out due to her own existential uncertainty and not really trusting herself. not even really knowing who she is. and she really likes elena right off the bat; she usually puts herself in more danger as to not risk her ghoul in the exact situations one would find themselves needing a damn ghoul in — she is literally the worst kindred ever in terms of priorities and self-preservation

speaking of her beast, it's very much that of a scorpion or snake… yes blunt-object-to-the-back-of-the-head-symbolism with some of her tattoos 😭 she stays lowkey, tries not to put herself under circumstances that would provoke or overly strain it, can keep it in check relatively well due to avid practice being a loner control freak, but when it snaps it's like an inland taipan. actually one of my fav moments playing with her in night road: so she chooses to continue feeding on blood bags in tucson, but when she finally had the opportunity to indulge with her predator type and a live target in dallas, she fucking got a critical success and killed them T_T this was after impulsively kissing julian back at the apartment d'espine allows you to stay at while in the area too. real in-character off-the-rails moment rip

i mentioned before but under the composed exterior she tries to present, she intensely seeks connection to something or someone. unfortunately the way she sees it: lettow is drawn to her because of the remnants of aila lingering within her -- also she literally ate his girlfriend, she's still not ok with that even if he forgives her because of course i gave my vampire oc morals and a guilty conscience (meanwhile cobie is eating people whole like twice a day); julian has no issue using her for whatever despite his affections, and elena is literally blood bonded to her, which sol is constantly thinking about elena's feelings and best interests — its a little bit of a sore spot for past reasons...

she gets on well with dove and begrudgingly really likes carlos (they absolutely cuss eachother out in very aggressive spanish one minute but he will pass her the roach the next) and she simped so bad for invidia caul — i think sol’s type is just a combo of super intelligence + willingness to engage in unethical experimentation lmfao. she's like omg noooo i don't understand wtf you're saying and that's sexy to me also your actions make me feel bad and are very ‘end-justifies-the-kind-of-morally-bankrupt-means’ but i cannot deny if they work out the ‘end’ would be really beneficial to kine and kindred... woe… hashtag conflicted and a little turned on. but she's very drawn to people who are idealistic or driven in an inherent ‘i want to help then i'll have purpose’ way. also the thrill. omg im just psychoanalysing her at this point sorry. this bitch would easily be indoctrinated into a cult is what it all boils down to + the extreme loyalty means she'd probably end up the cult leader's right-hand arm man his everything his confidant his best friend his silly rabbit 🤦‍♀️

also a follower in the streets but more of a leader in the sheets who said that

ok random stuff... she has those brown eyes that when she was human would glare almost red-orange when caught in straight sunlight; super deep chestnut, it only comes through under certain fluorescents these nights

very thick long hair; naturally has a kink/wave to it, quickly prone to returning to that state even when straightened, esp in the southwest's heat. usually loose when in tucson or dressing up, or braided ponytail on the road/job which i am so afraid to draw

nails are sharp like mini claws unless she’s specifically clipped them after rousing. they extend obscenely when she pops protean. i need to draw her fangs but they’re feline/kittenish: weirdly long and thin like staple punches, and again when she pops protean they extend like a snakes

her character color scheme runs warm-dark: black, brown, ochre, sienna, umber, burnt orange, deep shades of red, and maybe some random olive. style-wise it’s a mixed bag of practical minimalist and sleek; street and active wear, the occasional gold-ruby-emerald or leopard print dolce & gabbana-esque gaudy accent. very feminine on top; skin tight, low cut, corseted or cropped, paired with something oversized; men’s beaten-soft leather jackets, vintage driving jackets, or blazers. pants go either way: form fitting or baggy and belted depending on whatever silhouette she wants to cut. think of like the swaggiest 70s cuban drug lord/80s gangster restyled on 90s supermodel Naomi Campbell or something. with formal-wear i really like her in off-shoulder stuff. i try to draw her tattoos more in art bc it makes her more fun to look at but as a courier she wears driving gloves and long pants/boots to cover them up, and baseball caps or large sunglasses (yes at night. loser) to keep herself mostly unidentifiable

THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT MY BLORBO!!!! :'3

prev info/asks jic: 0 , 1 , 2

[asshole-rebel-psycho]

Forcing myself to like other lesbians a memoir.

That awkward moment when you swipe right on a similar type of masc lesbian as you on a dating app. You are only marginally attracted to them because they are the only normal looking profile within 15 miles of your location and you'd feel bad to pass a fellow lesbian bro up.

They swipe right too and match!

The next day you half reluctantly message them on Bumble with 4 hrs left keeping in the back of ur mind that they indeed did not bother to message you at all too so that's your first hint of suspicion.

You ignore the subtle red flag because why not give it a go!?

You answer her pre set opener asking

" what is one thing that I wouldn't know about you from your profile"

In a friendly, light, charismatic way with interesting details about yourself she can pull from...

You end your personal pitch by asking her

"what about you?"

And your fellow lesbian then responds with

" I drive a Tanker Truck".

.... that's it. With no questions 😆

I then respond ( because I'm nice and I don't want took like I'm ghosting her for her job lol)

By saying " oh cool, that's a good job. My dad is a trucker, He's looking into other trucking jobs like that one."

You decide to end it after that by not asking a question thinking their dull ass will unmatch but...

They ask you another question 🤣 🤣

So then you continue on asking questions to carry the convo because you think they are interested and were just being boring but they end up not asking any more questions further into the chat after several days of them keeping the convo light and about the weather but still somehow moving it along...wasting both of our times.

U end up wondering 🤔 if they weren't into me why did they even respond to begin with?

And what makes things worse is that you two are both the only lesbians within miles of rural land and you weren't even that attracted to her to begin with but because you don't have much lesbian or non poly queer girl options you decided to give her a chance.

Only to find out that just because you two are both normal, stem lesbians in the same area doesn't mean you can force chemistry or attraction.

Ten years of technology cannot erase 10,000 yrs of evolutionary biology!

But what really sucks is that as a fellow lesbian I know her single ass ain't matching with too many eligible Bachelorettes in the area. 😂 because I look similar to her and I'm not. Only a few a month.

So it makes you feel like shit because even when this lesbian is thirsty in the 🏜 desert she refuses the only bottle of water within 30 miles. All because you aren't more femme looking with baby girl energy. That's it. We need balance and the vibes need to be different, not same.

Kinda fucked up but that's the way it is.

To my fellow soft butch and masculine lesbros out there! I will probably swipe left but hopefully we can be pals down the line. We are lonely, tired, hated and need eachother's support. Just because we aren't attracted doesn't mean we can't love eachother as lesbian bros.

This was long winded sorry!

Yours truly,

The lesbo Carrie Bradshaw lol 😆 🏳️‍🌈

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

https://twitter.com/taebystars/status /1727240538779463763?t= IQOfpzFrWqjZ2w2z1qft_g&s=19

https://twitter.com/btsmano777/status /1727159240983556377?t= Ej3lSdVKnOpmGb9UpLix3g&s=19

Okay so someone needs to give me some cookies or something for going into that delulu lalalala land to search things up. I searched it with some keywords on twitter and took only two that are on top nd this is what i found. Based on these tweets idt he said similar things in last year so yeah that promise tkkrs talk about is definitely from fanmeet only who's video you can see in the 2nd link. So yeah that proves it that he saidit(To the fans) back in yrs only. Thing is i do think if not for tattoes jk might have gone to special force units not because of taehyung specifically but we all know how much he loves adventures things so it's not a big deal for me.

Also the reply where you said he didn't get his 7 tattoe with jk then i believe he did got his with jk on the same day only but he just made fool out of armys that time by posting the fake tatto. I remember polyc(their tattoe artist) liked one taekook fanart where tk goes to do their tattoes together and jk is like saying encouraging things to tae while holding his hands something like that but he later unliked it or he started blocking taekookers nd even posted it that blocking thing on one of his accounts' story cause youknow how delulu tkkrs gets. And polyc said jm came with members nd when jm had his tattoo done already jk didn't (remember the live when he said that he hasn't gotten his tattoo done yet but he'll go when he decides where he'll make it nd decided the place on his body for the 7 tatto based on comments section itself), so that tells jm had gone with other members to do that 7 while taekook went together later than the rest.

I also remember polyc posted this one story on his acct saying that the reason why he doens't have taehyung's autograph on his shop's wall is because after posting jungkook's tatto his acct got flooded with lots of engagement on that post and in all that chaos he forgot to take taehyung's autograph hence taehyung's autograph is noton the shop's wall with other members. So again this tells jk and taehyung went there together.

And about vmin running man nd yes he said it like he would love to go with jm there, there's another thing idk if it was about running man only or vmin unit song taehyung said but then jm commented on it saying like he (taehyung) just says things or something. One thing about taehyung is that this man loves bullshitting and or telling half ass things so people just make up tens of theories out of it. I hate that thing about him like anything

Lol, you went into the cult territory. Thanks for the clarification and fact checking.

Anyway, such an insufferable man with really ugly habits. I feel annoyed and I've only talked about him for a bit today. That's enough, moving on.

[beatriceportinari]

what better person to explain amino to u than somebody who was on there since he was ten years old (me). originally amino was just a few standalone apps (anime, gaming, pets… i think there was one other but i’m blanking on it) at that age i spent my time on pets amino bc. well! i wanted to talk abt my pets. at its core amino was just a forum where u could post n talk to other ppl abt similar interests. eventually the company expanded and amino became a standalone app with different communities/sort of mini apps within it. then, they opened the floor for its users to create their own communities (sorta like reddit?) and be in charge of managing them. which is where the leaders/curators came in. curators were essentially the lower lvl version of a leader bc you didn’t have the ability to ban or strike like leaders did. so, gestures, i was a curator on tokyo ghoul amino for like 4 years. i took the job as seriously as any 13 yr old could LOL. the rumors abt amino being insane is definitely true though. especially w being in a position of power i was absolutely in the trenches having to deal with other users. or having users come to me with drama between their friends expecting me to either solve it or dish out punishments. then if u had users actively trolling or harassing ppl you’d have to wait until the leaders were online to ban them so as curators sometimes we’d be wrapped up for hours trying to solve the issue n get in contact w our leaders 😭 IT WAS A MAD HOUSE!

that's crazy why did they make reddit for kids...

[trueduelist]

I thought i was gonna be washing dishes today but when i get all set up, the fng walks in and says yoo i think this is my spot. Im like ? And then shift leads run in freaking out and looking 5 yrs older. She frantically explains i need to be in kitchen and fng needs to go away because hes driving her insane.

Im like woah woah ok and tell him to finish his tickets because he walked away from his station with almost ten unfired tickets. He tries to argue with me but finally goes back and shift lead runs out of kitchen screaming WHY IS HE BACK NO NO NO and i try to explain that i need him to clear the tickets while i set up the station because he hasnt even done that even tho he has been there for an hour. She is so panicked that she doesnt even understand what im saying (theres also language barrier) but agm says "chill. It will all be ok" and she walks off.

Anyways fng PISSES ME OFF!!!! He has been on the clock for 1 hour and yet hasnt done a single fkn thing... Except make batter that was so thick it was almost a solid mass. Which he said took him 40 min.. presumably because he was struggling to mix it at that consistency. He cries about how he doesnt know morning prep and im mad because he knows how nights go and he hasnt filled any sauce bottles or blanched fries... He knows how to do that.

Anyways i keep him for like 15 min while i get situated because i dont cope well with my routine getting so messed up. Send him to dish where hes also useless apparently? Gm had to personally train him even though he has 1 yr dish experience. When he left, it was a complete mess. And he didnt wash cutlery, ramekins, glasses and mugs.. FOH was in tears LOL

[chronic-monachopsis]

In regards to quitting smoking, I would try to find something that's more important to you than the temporary relief smoking gives. For me, it was getting steadily harder to breathe. And as "no shit" as this is I really wanted to Not Suffocate And Die so I stopped. I'm quit two (three?) years and I'm not gonna lie I still think about it. But nowhere near as often as I did when I was smoking. I pretty much only remember it when I see/smell someone else smoking. The guy next to you is kind of minimizing how easy it is to slip into more than five. Also, different people take different time periods to quit. It took my grandmother 16 years or so and it took my brother about 5, so be patient with yourself. It's okay if you quit and then smoke again you can always quit again. There's room for error. Just don't give up on /yourself./

Oh hey! thanks for the words!! Its def been difficult since ive been smoking since i was around 15 (which looking back... fucking yikes?? really big mistake)

Its been my unhealthy crutch, so its really hard to let go of it and rid myself from that mindset! When i went into the vape shop, i was actually trying to tell the worker that ive gone from five a day to TEN. but i was interrupted and then felt kind of stupid for being there LMAO.

I definitely want to give them up soon though, cigarettes over here cost me something like.. €14.30 a box ?? which is.. just way too expensive for me personally. there is a permanent dent in my wallet from it all. im also at the point where my lungs are just wheezy and it generally makes me feel shitty.

also congrats on your 2 (3??) yrs free! thats huge! i hope i can at least be off them by December, so wish me luck LOL!!

[skyburger]

ok sorry this post will be in green text because i set my tumblr to dark mode but the app just kind of sucks and doesnt work because i never update it anyway everythibg reads fine but in the post editor the text is the exact same color as the background unless i change it to another color (like green for instamce). thsts why i have it set to light mode usually but its dark in hereee and im tireddd but i had something to say anyway that probably took longer tp say than my actual point. my actual point or not even a point just a think i thunk. Ok so im watching markipliers fnaf3 revisit i put it on to fall asleep to theyre good background noise for me. but yeah im watching that rn and i got reminded of my really minor fnaf headcanon that phone dude is just phone guys son. like i dont have any reason for this beyond its fun but why would i need another reason tbf! also kind of fucked up to think that w/ this hc PD (phone dude) found those old training cassettes PG (phone guy) did and is like yoooo sick as hell like he just doesnt know hes related 2 that dude. i dont think thats dramatic enough to be dramatic irony but not ironic enough to be just irony on its own and im not letting myself look this up bevause i Wil get more distracted than i already have. u know wat i mean hopefully. oh also other small thought i thinked (and i think every time i listen to the night 2 phone call( is that its really funny to hear scott cawthon voice phone dude and say the cassettes they found are "like, prehistoric, dude!" even though hes definitely old enough to have used cassettes LOL i just always think like. Man is that how he imagines kids these days (im lacking better phrasing rn soz) because the worst part is thsts pretty accurate. he did a ver good job playing this younger dude (i dont have an adjective to describe pd other yhan like hes a very dude-y dude) does this make sense i feel like im phrasing this terribly. im not trying to sound mean to people over the age of like forty i swear my point is just like so often if anyone older tries to act like this it comes off as very How do you do fellow kids like do u know ehst j mean. im not saying mr. cawthons like less than ten minutes of phone dude dialogue is the pinnacle of this im just saying its simple amd fun and works 2 me. i like phone guy i think most every fnaf fan likes him but i like phone dude a lot also possibly a little more. my guy didnt do shit besides letting springtrap loose like bro was just really invested in his deprecated fazbear haunted house place hes not up on all the lore... i wonder what he did after fnaf3 maybe hes in like a travelling scary circus(???) and/or a spirit halloween employee. probably like a reddit mod but i dont mean yhat meanly i just think hes moderating a kinda small sub for some nicher horror thing hes just chilling dude. maybe hes a youtuber for like tech disassembly modding whatever. i think he has a modded nintendo wii maybe he really likes mario kart who knows. ick whzt im on about now im tired as fuckkkk but my last thinked think was just i like 2 think pg's name is scott for obvious reasons but i like yo think pd, in my headcanon where hes pg's son, is slso cslled scott hes scott jr. hea definitely called scotty though as a nickname bro is suchhh a scotty it fits him dontcha think... anyway im strucvling to stay swake to ramble but i love to ramble to stay awake its some paradox shit (mot really) but yrs my point was im going 2 sleep now goodnight FORVER'!!!!!!!! or juzt until i wake up tomorroaw. baiiiiii

[intergalactic-deathray]

This is actually terrifying

…Well I’m actually torn between a feeling of belonging and intimidation bc these r my people in my sport BUT they r all at least ten yrs older than me and coaches (smt im not quite yet lol)

But stop bc why do I actually enjoy the intensity of this, I’ve literally missed it. It’s so weird bc it’s genuinely traumatizing but also like, it’s an environment I thrive in yk? So interesting how that works…bc I mean these are all people who have been through all the same pain and suffering that I’ve been through, but find satisfaction in it. It’s an entirely different world, but one that can fight for my place in. No, you don’t get “accepted” into it, you claw tooth and nail to be here and one slip up will oust you from it. It’s a sink or swim environment and I love how it forces me to be my best. That said, it sucks when your best isn’t enough and you sink anyway, but that pressure and scruntiny is what is so mystifying about this.

But anyway, I also don’t rly fit in bc I’m not a coach w anyone else and all other instructors have their gym friends they can hang out with. I don’t currently coach so I don’t have those built in companions. Also I rly wanna find my old coach who I actually kind of love. Almost a mother figure to me a little bit—a very infuriating, sometimes verbally toxic mother but someone who cares about me nonetheless. It took me a long time to realize that.

Anyway wish me luck.

[tribeoftrolls]

To the Goodest Boy I have ever known...

Wrex Sept 30 2011 - March 26, 2023. 

Wrex was 11 years old boston terrier and would of been 12 in Sept. It’s been a very hard week for me of his passing. It was sudden, I’ve only had him for 2 yrs at the age of 9 when I adopted him from my brother. Long story short in the process of trying to figure out what was going on with him with my vet, within just one week of finding out he had cancer and it reached his lungs. He was healthy, he was vibrant, he was full of life. Nothing was indicating he was sick this entire time of 2023, it took just one week. And cancer took him one quiet sunday morning, which I was there and experienced the process of him passing away safe in my arms. I’m still heart broken, still grieving but it’s not feeling as heavy as I am aware that he’s no longer sick and is free. He can play forever just how he likes it because he ALWAYS wants to play. 

I’m so glad in the 2 yrs I got to take him to park thats near my neighborhood to play fetch with him. Let him lay in the cool grass, drink some water, enjoy the sun. He got to go to family bbq’s, he got his first swimming lesson in a pool with a life jacket on him. He has met so many of my neighbors and majority of my neighbors he would run to, to say hello. He got to play with SO MANY construction workers that were in the front of the house working on putting in a sewer system in my neighborhood lol. He had a very friendly disposition with people that I knew I didn’t have to worry he would do anything to anyone. If he ran at someone, he had a ball in his mouth and put the toy down staring up like “Play!?” The only thing I WAS worried of was how people reacted to him so I would only let him meet people that showed interest in wanting to pet him. He’s gone to deli trips with me even though the trip to the deli was always a big one for him, it always gave him anxiety because of all the sounds and smells. (I think he thought he was going to the vet to be honest lol) But I was teaching him to socialize and using treats to get him use to the area and we were only there for five to ten minutes. As my husband was in the deli store to get breakfast. 

Once we were back home, that little experience which is down the block from our home, tired him out lol. I had him dressed up for holidays, just simple t-shirts or just a bow tie on the collar. Only time there was a costume was during christmas and he was dressed up as an elf and this year he was a reindeer. He was always patient with those kind of silly pictures I’d take of him, thats’ the only time I’d have him in a costume lol. He was all spruced up for mothers day in his button down plaid shirt so he got all the attention from my family such as my mom, cousins and aunts lol. There is so much that I can type about him, there is so much he did in just 2 years with me and my husband. And I’m glad we got to know him and love on him as much as he loved us. 2 years feels so short but when I think of all the things me and my husband did with him, he had a blast as there wasn’t any place we didn’t bring him. This year it’s going to be so much different. It’s going to be hard to not have him for family vacations, holidays and more. I do plan on adopting some day but I am going for just one year to recover from this and see how I feel in a year. It’s all touch and go from here on and out and going through this process to grieve. It has so many up and down moments. I miss him so much and my house just feels...empty. Me and my husband are working through it together and my family is there for us to. And my best friend Minstrelofmyths has been there for me to! <3 

At times wish we just had a little more time with him, just one more summer. But it is the way it is, we never know when it will be our last today. Which is kind of scary to think about so I’m gonna put that thought away where it belongs lol. Anyway it’s 3am....I’m beat tired. Good night.

[love-the-escape]

So Much (For) Stardust

Track 1 Love from the Other Side

Track 2 Heartbreak Feels So Good

Track 3 Hold Me Like a Grudge

Track 4 Fake Out

Track 5 Heaven, Iowa

Track 6 So Good Right Now

Track 7 The Pink Seashell (feat. Ethan Hawke)

Track 8 I Am My Own Muse

Track 9 Flu Game

Track 10 Baby Annihilation

Track 11 The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years)

Track 12 What a Time to Be Alive

Track 13 So Much (For) Stardust

Alright there is no ranking here just my impressions on first day. Can already say that the fandom will be more accepting of this album over American Beauty/American Psycho, and DEFINITELY over Mania. (which is crazy Mania is amazing) We’ve got FOB returning to their guitar routes but mixed with more lowfi modern production. Patrick’s vocalization still giving its signature sound, Pete still delivering the crazy analogies and poems he decides to call lyrics.

(also want to say there is no lyric analysis because i don’t do that during the first couple days of an album, so these are what i took in on my initial listens.)

First thing to talk about is that the track titles are pretty tame for Fall Out Boy, there’s no “Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued” which is classic cause its too long even for the scrolling feature to not add an … to it.

going to remove the script/speeches: The Pink Seashell is a speech performed by Ethan Hawke, which i think was inspired from a film called Reality Bites (?) either way its very dramatic and def changes the tune from like upbeat in so good right now to i am my own muse. The other speech is Baby Annihilation which for an fob fan is basically Pete Wentz deciding to give one of his mini rants that’s kind of circular but also very sincere, but where that sincerity feels very daggered. It doesn’t really fill the same role of pink seashell but it does turn the mood from the climax to the ending of the album.

now left with 11 tracks.

the three lead songs were the 2 pre - released tracks and then Hold Me Like A Grudge is the first single from the album. these are classic fob opening songs, very anthemy and the fans will be belting along with patrick at the tour.

once we hit Fake Out the mood has become that kind of upbeat that is masking the pain of the lyrics. Heaven, Iowa has patrick utilizing the vocalization he starts in AB/AP.

I Am My Own Muse has fob with the anger and just really transports me to Infinity on High pat. ugh so good. flu game ends with that kind of old ticker drum which just screams nostalgia to me.

by the time we get to The Kintsugi Kid, we’re on the come down. fob albums always hit a climax and then either end by melancholy remembrance, upbeat unrealism, or strangled anger. In What a time to be alive Pete is still illustrating his obsession with pop culture. You will be able to place this album in time in 10 yrs because of his references. If the album end with “What a Time to be Alive” it would end on upbeat unrealism, with a tongue in cheek kind of nod to the present and could of been past. However, Pete Wentz is nothing if not a emo kid at heart.

So Much (For) Stardust, an ending that i always love is when artists tie it all together with a closing that calls back to previous tracks. This album isn’t a concept album, but i would say its thematic. This song def ends the album on the strangled anger vibes, the song starts and you think its going to end on melancholy but the bridge turns from cries to yells. And it just fits ya know? For an album made because of quarantine it just gets it.

number of songs I cried at: 3 (heaven, iowa; i am my own muse; so much (for) stardust) can’t explain it lol

album rating: 10/10, currently probs ranks in my top 4 fob albums

i don’t really post in here, but today was a big day in music for me? like jimin released his debut and fob released their first album since mania. so i want to share my thoughts even if no one reads them.

so if you read this enjoy!

[petrasplaining]

do all the positivity things

ONE: Positivity for the first person who comes up when you do @ and the first letter of your name/alias

@beguilcd amber is so so sweet and so so nice, and it’s such an honor to get to write with her and also to see her treat a character that is so close to my heart with such care is just incredible. the mulan of my heart! and of petra’s heart. i love her a lot :”)

UNO: Positivity for the first person who comes up when you do @ and the first letter of your muse’s name/alias

@pxtienceisavirtue skye is a fantastic writer. i honestly… literally.. have no clue who all her muses are but i would legit follow her to the end of the world anyway that’s how amazing skye is.

UN: Positivity for the first person you remember shipping with ( in general or on this muse )

well on this blog that would be the loml tiff, who isn’t on indie anymore. but ? let me ramble about her for a sec. because i can. she is the gina to my yael, my wife my sister, the joanne to my maureen, i cannot even begin to say how much i love her and how much her presence in my life has been such a positive influence and just. i love her. my life is a thousand times better because she’s in it. tiff has always always been the one person who has consistently made me feel so loved, and never ever makes me doubt it. she loves me and truly cares about me, beyond rp beyond.. u know.. she checks on me no matter how busy her life gets and all that stuff and that’s just evERYTHING to me. i’d fight the whole world for her. 

EINS: Positivity for the first person who messaged you in 2018

@hasmercy dis bish likes to bully me a lot, but i love her. so frudgin much. i mean find you a friend who is your personal social media alarm for whenever your fave (in my case yael) posts anything on instagram. it sounds so little but the sentiment behind it means so much tho? the fact that she takes the time, to link me to show me something she knows would make me happy? because she knows it’s something i love? that’s precious. that means she thought of me? remembered me? :”) that aside tho, dana is also a wonderful, steadfast friend and i appreciate that so much.

ETT: Positivity for the first person who comes up when you do @ and your favorite letter

@asperad so jess, is one of my favs ever? like. jess has always been such a sweetheart to me, who leaves me little, feel better messages during the …occasional negativity post i make and liKE. it might seem like such a small simple gesture but… i?? just when you’re having a really hard time, getting a message? knowing someone cares to send that tiny little positivity your way? it means so much esp when you’re at such a low point, u know? and i appreciate that u do so frequently more than i can say. loveloveyou

UNUS: Positivity for the first person to come up on your dash.

@firstofficerslog​ is my little brother and i love him always. he’s one of the nicest people i know, who has a huge heart and genuinely cares about the people around him. he’s also incredibly strong and brave, and i appreciate his presence more than i can ever express. he was there for me a lot last year and was very supportive through an incredibly rough time in my life ?? and i’ll never forget that. if i could love him enough to make him happy always i would. and i just always want good things, the best things for him and for him to be constantly surrounded by good people who make him happy, who support and love him because he deserves that.

ODIN: Positivity for the first person listed on your “top fans” thing.

@leadershiipskills accdg to my blog, i’m your biggest fan and you’re my biggest fan! how cute are we?? :) anyway. gosh. where do i even. you’re the kind of person i could talk to for hours on end, and i wouldn’t get tired of it. u know, i love talking to you. i always have. you always take such interest in me when we talk. you ask me how i’ve been. you follow up, legit for days when you know things have been difficult for me. you give me reasons to smile for no reason at all. it means so much to me that you try and get to know me. you make me feel like i’m more than a person you write with, that i’m not only as good as whatever ships we have. you make me feel like i’m more than that. you’re curious to know who i am, what i like. you take a genuine interest in the things i do, in the things that happen in my life and i mean? i told u this before and i’ll say this again, you dont just tell me i matter, you make me feel like i matter. and i think that’s priceless. i can only hope i’m able to make you feel just as special because you truly are. i’m so lucky to have you as my friend, my mom, my twin. ilyyyyyy bab.

JEDEN: Positivity for the first person you think of.

@burnedbrighter​ ANGELA my sweet babe. how do i even begin to express the amount of love i have for you?? you are a TREASURE. a friend for keeps. u know, people, i feel, come and go on indie and i feel a little bit like that’s just how it is and i’ve come to accept that but you have been there, you know. through how many years. i’ve never doubted my worth to you as a friend. indie or not, i know that we’re friends, and that means more to me than anything, honestly. i hope you know how much i love you, and how much i appreciate you because i really do. ty for always making me feel loved.

EÎS: Positivity for someone you remember from when you first started your blog.

@zensolano caiti?? my sweet darlingest caiti. i’d go wherever you go, always forever you know why? because you’re an actual sunshine and ray of positivity and just the sweetest thing in the entire world! your presence lights me up, and you just, make me feel special and loved and remembered and just. coughs we all know i’m not always the hugest jafael fan depending on what’s happening lmfao but i would volunteer to scream about them alongside you, that’s how much i love you, and your cute fangirling sweet pure self. ily okay?

YKSI: Positivity for someone who has been one of your first writing partners, either on this blog or in general

@shculdbeafraid​ izzie, you’ve been there legit since this blog was born, i’m pretty sure? hahaha. and you’ve always been such a good friend to me, anytime that you know i’m not feeling the best, you’re always there to offer to listen and i appreciate that more than i can say. you’re wonderful and i have lots of love for you always, yeah? :)

BAT: Positivity for the first person to come up when you do @ and the letter F

@filiamatris​ is there anything i look forward to more than all of avery’s ooc posts tho? i think not? hahah, you’re amazing and so kind and considerate and you’re just…s ucH a caring person? and i cannot say enough how much i appreciate that, how much i appreciate having that kind of positivity in my dash is. it really, really makes all the difference. you make all the difference! you’re wonderful and amazing ilu

EKAB: Positivity for for the first person to come up when you do @ and the letter O

@ofcoldguns​ iK we havent talked a whole lot but you’ve become such an important part of my dash, and it’s always so nice getting to see you there and !! i appreciate anyone who appreciates one day at a time so. :”) you’re a darling and i look forward to getting to know you more!!

MOJA: Positivity for the top person in your activity bar

@likescauliflower​ ILSE MY LOVE. you’ve always been one of my most fav ever i mean your writing is stellar, i get to cry with you about all the things that i love aka jtv and odaat which! is always such fun! it doesn’t matter how busy you get irl, no matter how many times it takes you away from me because i will always always love you always!!!!! our love is forever just like seblair’s love is forever okay. 

[thotsforvillainrights]

Can I ask you for more headcanons about Tomoko and dad Skeptic? Do you have a timeline in mind for her? Like What she’d be like at different ages?

(Gosh yes! But don’t quote me on it just in case I change the story up later on down the line lol)

~Tomoko’s Timeline~

(1-3 yrs old)

Crybaby crybaby unless she’s in her daddy’s arms. I tell you from the moment she came into this world, her and Skeptic have been inseparable. Don’t fret! There are still sometimes where she can’t bear to be held by anyone else but you either. It just seems like there are more times for him than for you. It’s all good though, considering she never wanted to sleep as a baby and usually fought it when she was placed down for a nap! 

(4-5 yrs old)

Her relationship with you and Skeptic has only gotten stronger. She’s still more attached to him so don’t take much offense. The two of them can often be seen in the computer/home office. He’s working and she’s coloring right next to him at the desk. She becomes a bit curious about things and often tries to touch daddy’s computer when he leaves for bathroom break. There was one time when he was working on an important work project that she completely deleted by accident. You thought he would have popped a blood vessel but he simply took a deep breath and gently scolded her. “Now sweetheart, try not to touch daddy’s computer like that. You mess up his very hard work and he has to do it again okay? Oh...oh no. No Tomo, don’t cry please!” Skeptic is heartbroken he’s made his little girl cry so easily but they’re just some of her famous fake tears she can turn off at the drop of a hat so no worries.

(6-10 yrs old)

She’s become more curious about the world around her. You’d call her a brainiac but a silly one at the same time. She’s got a lot of energy at this point in her life. So she’s always running around and up to something. At the same time, she sits still and soaks up so much information. You’re positive she’ll be as smart as her father someday. The downside might be the way she asks a million questions a minute for the both of you. Unfortunately some of them are harder than others (the dreaded ‘where do babies come from’ question), but between you and Tomoyasu it’s handled pretty well. I think around ten you end up signing her up for softball lessons. You always figured she’d want to do dance but it seems more like she’s attached to more energetic and wild things rather than orderly and graceful. She also collects bugs under rocks and can climb the hell out of any tree. It’s impressive and you love bragging about it to the other parents. 

(teen years)

As much as I’m sorry for always pandering to the angsty teen stereotype (Nemoto Family AU for example) I’ve already made headcanons about her being this way long before she even had an official name lol. Skeptic is having a hard time accepting this more than you. Things have shifted drastically. You’ve even seemed to become the favorite parent considering you tended to be more relaxed with her choices than he is. He’s becomes a little too controlling sometimes. It’s rough for a girl to actually live when he dad has LITERAL surveillance satellites trained on her at all times. She’s acted out of spite toward him a few times. She’s gotten some piercings and even a tattoo as well. Boy you remember that argument as clear as day. The moment when everything really shifted was shortly after she turned 18. She snuck out to a concert with her partner that Skeptic already wasn’t pleased about. He caught her coming back home in the middle of the night and you swore the whole block could hear the two of them at each other’s throats. The kicker was when she’d shouted that she never asked to be born and she wished she’d ever had a father like him. He went completely silent and she pushed past him straight upstairs and into her room, slamming the door on the way up. I think it was one of the only times you’d heard Skeptic sniffle. The house was silent and awkward for the next day or so. But it was for the best considering the two of them apologized to each other when the night rolled around. It lead to some pretty healthy venting where she’s ended up telling him how suffocated she felt throughout high school. He also admitted it was difficult to see her growing up so fast since he felt like he was losing his babygirl right before his eyes. They apologized again, and the relationship had been repaired just as it used to be.

(adulthood)

Leaving for college broke the two of you but at the same time you were both so proud of your baby. She’d originally majored in tech just like Skeptic but eventually her heart settled on journalism (which her auntie Curious helped her with tremendously). By now she graduated, found a nice girl and settled down in the city not too far from you. Although a lot of the others are starting to pry for grandkids, you know your baby is far comfortable with her three cats for now! She still visits often, and with her NOW fiancé. It’s hard to say which person proposed first, but you don’t doubt it was Tomoko lol. Who knows, maybe down there line there will be a new set of tiny feet pitter-pattering down the halls of your long since empty nest. Especially with the way Skeptic had been at you lately. You’d likely never forget the night he rolled over and stared you dead in the face before saying “Let’s make/adopt another one...”

[mythiccheroacademia]

The whole time traveling children has me feelin some type of way tbh. Imagine Mirio, Kaminari, and Tamaki walking into their respective rooms and there are just small children vibing. Mirio with his daughter, Kaminari with a daughter and Tamaki with a son. 😭

as i said, parent!bnha is SUPERIOR

A/N: So, instead of making these separate asks, I’m just going to make it one giant post. I thought it would be easier that way. Probably the only post that’ll have more than three characters lol

Warnings: none

Kaminari Denki:

when kaminari walked into his room, he didn't expect to see two children on his bed fighting like wild animals

the younger girl was totally beating the boy’s ass tho

kinda embarrassing bc she’s gotta be like, seven, at most

as if it’s not the weirdest thing he’s seen (bc it’s not) he rushes in to break them apart

he manages to separate them with his arms 

the boy with yellow hair snaps his jaws at his sister’s fingers

“hey! bad! no biting!” he scolds

the little girl blows a raspberry and taunts “yeah! papa says no biting!”

the older sibling just rolls his eyes “rat”

meanwhile, denki is literally malfunctioning

papa?

PAPA? HUH???

the only person’s pants (and heart) he’s been trying to get in to for the past three months was y/n’s and he sure as hell would remember if he did

he didn't have kids

especially one that was his age

“sorry! you two are cute, but i’m not your pops”

thus, they begin to tell denki about how they mayhaps followed him and their mother into a dangerous mission and got hit with a time travel quirk

denki just nods his head

tbh, he’s not that weirded out

weirder things have happened

but, he does have one question

“who’s the lucky woman?”

coincidentally, you bust into his dorm room, wet from a recent prank and head steaming with anger

“Kaminari Denki!”

his son juts a thumb over to you

“the woman that’s about to murder you”

“oh say less”

his life literally couldn't get any better

before you get the chance to throttle him, the little girl jumps in your arms and your anger is immediately quelled 

“hey mommy! i just wanna let you know that it was [son’s name]’s fault that we followed you when you told us not to”

“WHAT!?”

you’re to busy trying to get them from killing each other to comprehend anything that’s going on

kaminari is in a love-struck gaze bc hot damn, he won the jackpot, huh?

if he wasn't in love with you before, he’s in love with you now

you and your feral children

it was nice being God’s favorite

Kirishima Eijirou: 

funny thing was

kirishima woke up from his afternoon nap with his mini-me in his arms!

at first, he was really confused as to why there was an 8 yr old boy with spiky teeth and (your hair texture) black hair on his bed

he thought he was dreaming

then the little boy bit his nose and grinned like he had done the funniest thing in the world 

“WAKE UP DADDY! WE GOTTA GET SWOL TODAY”

did he get hit with some duplication quirk?

and what was that he said...daddy?

as in, father?

kirishima is wide awake now, but before he can ask the kid what’s going on, the boy is up and making use of his punching bag

he decides it wouldn't hurt to get a morning work out in, so he decides to humor the kid

after a mini workout, kirishima is in near tears as the boy tries to flex the little muscles he has 

eventually, he gets the kid to tell him what happened and finds out he was hit with a time travel quirk of some sort

instead of being weirded out, kirishima is ESCTATIC 

he has a family in the future 

he’s so excited and proud that he just has to show his son off to his friends!

the first thing he does is go and bother bakusquad in the common room

he’s bragging like shit to them and his ego swells as they all swoon over how cute and handsome the kid is 

you and bakugo come out of the kitchen to see what all the commotion is about and the little boy excitedly runs to you and jumps into your arms 

“momma! you’re here! you’re so pretty! why’d you marry daddy when he looks so unswol?”

it’s silent before bakugo fucking dies of laughter 

“y-you finally let shitty hair hit it? and got knocked up?? LMAO”

everyone’s dying and kirishima wants to die

he can’t believe this was how his long-term crush on you was getting outted

by an 8 yr old boy

so not manly

you look confused before you put the pieces together

the kid did look like you and kirishima

you want to console kirishima about the crush that you lowkey knew he had on you, but your son was one step ahead of you

with a gracious smile, he hits bakugo’s head

hard

“what the fuck kid!?”

“don’t make fun of daddy, uncle bakugo! at least daddy didn’t faint at his wedding″

Bakugo’s contemplating murder and everyone’s rolling on the floor

“WE BEEN KNEW YOU WERE THE BIGGEST SIMP”

even ten years later, bakugo still holds a grudge against your son

Togata Mirio:

i’m about to kill y’all w this one

since year one, mirio has been feigning over you 

but 1) you were too dumb to notice 2) you both were really busy with, y’know, school and 3) he lowkey gave up bc he thought you deserved better

so imagine his surprise when he sees this four year old girl on his bed

and she looks like you with his features

mirio might not be the brightest crayon in the crayon box

but he’s got eyes

and it wasn't like he’s memorized your features to the T

the tiny girl is swinging her legs absent-mindedly before exploding with happiness when he sees him

she runs to mirio and he catches her with open arms 

“daddy! daddy! i got hit with the coolest quirk at school today!”

proceeds to tell him about her best friend discovered her quirk and it was a teleportation quirk 

mirio can’t help but giggle along with her even tho he knew it was a scary situation for the parents

speaking of which...

he innocently asks her who’s the mom

“mommy is the prettiest mommy in the world! she has e/c eyes, hair like me, and the most beautiful s/c skin! her name is togata y/n!”

if he wasn't geeking before, he’s geeking now

not only did he manage to marry you, but you let him be your baby daddy?

him?

big bet

mirio doesn't even care at this point

he’s parading around UA with the fattest smile as he introduces his daughter to damn near everyone 

everyone’s freaking out bc wtf when did mirio get someone pregnant??

maybe he should've explained himself, but he sees you at your locker and makes a b-line for you

“good morning, y/n!”

he doesn't notice that you slam your locker close and hide the confession letter you wrote to him behind your back

you’re a stuttering mess and he’s too busy basking in the fact that he’s holding y’alls child 

y’all look like a mess

but he’s ready to lay it on thick when the little girl kisses your nose and cheers,

“mommy, i missed you”

he explains the situation 

you cant help but smile, “you know this could potentially ruin the timeline?”

and you feel like melting as he gives you the softest smile 

“there’s no way I’m letting that happen. not when i end up with the woman i’m in love with. we’ll just have to twist fate together”

and twist it you did

Tamaki Amajiki:

tamaki wasn't the bravest person ever 

and he knew his crippling anxiety got in the way of a lot

but he had never been more proud of himself for managing to invite you to his room

it was supposed to be a study date

despite how bold you normally were, he took comfort in how nervous you seemed 

now, you two were leaning in, about to kiss

and then a voice from behind interrupts 

“uh, am i interrupting something?”

you two let out the ugliest squeal and jump 50 feet away from each other 

you’re all over the place, trying to explain the situation

tamaki’s heart is barely beating at this point

it takes the kid, who looks about 16, about thirty minutes to calm you down and revive tamaki

explains that he’s from the future and a descendant of tamaki’s family

decides to leave out that you two are his parents so he doesn't risk possibly erasing himself from the space continuum 

that would be bad

despite how surprised you two were, you two take it rather well 

you three spend the day together bc you and tamaki feel this weird sense of responsibility for the guy even though he’s only two years younger

the boy is trying his hardest not to expose himself, but it’s so hard

you two are asking him everything from his favorite food to if he has any siblings

he’s good at pretending that he’s cool, calm, and collected, but he wants nothing more than to jump into his parents’ arms and cry about how scared he is of messing up

but he won’t 

bc he’s a strong boy

but he slips up

“how far are you down the future?” tamaki asks

“uh, about like 100 years or so--”

“you’re lying”

the kid nearly chokes on his food as his father blinks at him

you try and scold tamaki but he continues

“i don’t mean to be mean, but your nose twitches when you lie. y/n does the same thing”

that’s when the jazz record stops and everyone is staring at one another

“....wait”

this time, you nearly pass out

y’all had a kid together???

THE HELL??

the boy, coincidentally, starts fading and he thinks he fucked up

now he’s full out sobbing into the both of your chests, scared that he’s disappearing

despite the news, you and tamaki calm down, look at each other, and hold your son

“don’t you worry, baby” you coo, kissing his fading hair

“i have a feeling we’ll see you quite soon” tamaki comforts, closing his eyes

Bakugo Katsuki:

bakugo finally understood when his mom said

“the meaner you are to your parents, the nastier your kids will be to you”

he regretted being such a demon bc his kid was literally the spawn of satan

katsuki didn’t need an explanation to know that that...thing was his kid

he looked damn near identical to him with features that he couldn't quite place

but anyways, that wasn't the focus rn

rn, he was trying to figure out a way to keep that animal caged

as soon as katsuki took his eyes off him, the six yr old ran out the door as fast as his little legs could carry him

“catch me if you can, you old bastard!”

yup, it was his kid

“GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE FUCKER”

his son is blasting his way through the halls, skillfully evading Katsuki’s grabbing hands 

he’s wildly laughing as he flips and turns through the doors, watching with glee as his father falls on his face

multiple times

the small boy latches on to a cupboard and smirks

“no wonder mom always beats your ass! you weak!”

katsuki nearly looks like the devil, eyes white, and face red with fury

his pride suffering by the second

he’s about to cuss the kids to hell when you come out of the kitchen, confused

you were about to ask why katsuki looked like a rat with rabies before you caught sight of a basket of fruit teetering on the edge of the cabinet, above the little boy’s head

“look out--”

the basket falls on the kid’s head and he’s on the floor, reeling from the hit

katsuki would've normally laughed his ass off, but he felt kind of...concerned?

he watches you run towards the child who’s trying his hardest not to cry

the boy holds his head, fat tears in his eyes as you pick him up and coddle over him 

“i’m sorry, baby. I'm sorry i didnt get there in time” 

cue the waterworks 

the boy is full-on sobbing into your chest about how his head hurts

you bounce him and kiss his forehead as katsuki checks over the red bump 

“you’ll be okay, brat” he comforts, voice softer than usual

in that moment, katsuki can’t help but notice how much a family y’all look like rn

then the dots start connecting and he goes 

oh shit 

so, maybe, he’s had a tiny crush on you

and it didn’t help that you two were friends with benefits bc yall were horny teenagers

but who knew he’d get the balls to ask you out on a proper date one day

he was such a simp for you gosh it was ugly

“you have to be more careful from now on,”  you say to the boy 

the brat suddenly looks innocent and katsuki wants to throw him

“sorry, mommy. i’ll be gooder”

the look on your face is priceless 

bakugo uses it as a chance to kiss you 

“huh?”

“i guess now’s a good time to tell you that i want to be your dick on demand but with feelings and shit, dumbass”

[cha-melodius]

I've just had a random tmfu related thought:

What if the events in the film took place around 10 years earlier? I don't mean historical stuff, but more like: how would the interactions btwn the characters change? I imagine both Napoleon and Peril would be pretty inexperienced in the spy business and they'd be somehow more raw - like their demons would be closer to the surface - with the war being fresher in Napoleon's memory and Illya's psychotic epsiodes more out of control. I also imagine then being more reckless and naive (not yet worn down to be so cynical and distrustful by years of spy work). And Gaby would be less level-headed too. And Waverly could then lead and shape the team without having to counter so many of Oleg's and Sanders' evil influences (I really like the idea of Waverly being kind of a dad of the team).

So, well, what do you think? What would change if it all happened 10 yrs earlier?

Btw, your The Lost Art of Keeping A Secret is such a masterpiece (like, don't get me wrong, a your fics are amazing, but for some reason I like this one the most).

Ooh, what a fantastic AU idea! Honestly it feels like SO much happened to them in those ten years, they'd be very different people! This got crazy long, because it's so interesting and could go a lot of ways, so the majority of my thoughts on their individual characters are under the cut. The tl;dr is that I absolutely agree with you on them being more fresh and less jaded and experinced, not to mention with a lot fresher trauma that they haven't learned to bury so well yet.

I think we'd have all these young, hotheaded fools trying to make their way around each other and save the world, and tbh it sounds like kind of a mess, lol. I feel like initially they'd be even more distrustful of each other, because as much as Illya and Napoleon disdain each other at the beginning of the movie, I think there is a base of respect because let's face it, they're both very very skilled, and they've been briefed with enough of each others' track record to know that the other one is actually a formidable agent. Ten years earlier, neither of them would have that record, so they'd really think that the other was a joke. That said, less time with the KGB and CIA might mean that, when they do get a look at what the other can do, they're more willing to be impressed.

Then, you put them in these situations where they save each others' lives, and I imagine them forming even tighter bonds earlier because, as you say, they have this freshness and naïveté where something like that would mean so much to them, not to mention they have a lot less reason to be loyal to their respective agencies without the history. I LOVE the idea of Waverly seeing potential in them very early and poaching them to shape them into a team! We never got to see the UNCLE team as a real TEAM in canon, but I feel like the dynamic in Istanbul would be very different earlier in their lives. I mean, they wouldn't have the time to really develop that "I work better alone" attitude, or at least not to be so completely entrenched in it, so I think they'd come together faster once they got over their initial reservations.

I feel like I could go on forever about this but I will stop now, lol. As I said, my thoughts on where they'd each be individually are below the cut! Thank you so much for sending this ask in, I had such fun thinking about it. And thank you for your lovely comments on Lost Art! That was a difficult fic for me to write, actually, because the dynamic had to be different than what I'm so used to, so I'm so thrilled to hear how much you love it!

Ok so, on each of them:

IIRC ten years would put Napoleon right after he'd been "recruited" by the CIA, and oh man, I can just see him chafing under the new restrictions, constantly getting into SUCH trouble and testing the limits of Sanders' patience. He's not yet "the CIA's most effective agent," still more of an art thief than a spy, and most of the rest of the agents probably feel like he's more of a liability at this point. Maybe the mission to extract Gaby would be his first big test, and Sanders would have backup plans because he'd be expected to fail. I agree about the war being fresh in his mind, too; I kind of like the idea of after the war, he'd like to leave guns and killing behind, but then the CIA recruits him after he's arrested and he's forced back into it, and it's psychologically rough for him, especially at the beginning. So, for instance, during the extraction, Napoleon never takes a fatal shot at Illya because he still can't quite bring himself to shoot someone down like that again.

And oh, Illya... He's supposed to have been special forces before becoming the youngest KGB agent, so if we do go with him as being a KGB agent at this time, he'd also be so new at it. The KGB would recognize his (near-inhuman, lol) skills, but I think they'd see him as such a loose canon. Constantly sending him on crazy, impossible missions that should have killed him, but somehow he always survives. I've headcanoned in fics in the past that the KGB was responsible for teaching him self control, at the expense of his emotional health, so at the beginning of that time I agree he'd have an even shorter fuse, but also wear a lot more of his feelings on the surface. We get glimpses of Illya's emotional side in canon (I mean beyond his outbursts), and I think those would be more common. He hasn't learned to bury everything so completely, so maybe there's even more romantic/sexual tension between him and Napoleon, and Napoleon initially thinks he'll exploit it but he doesn't count on his own feelings for Illya getting in the way.

As for Gaby, she'd be so young! And I can imagine the trauma of losing her father would be so much fresher. I acutally feel like she'd be even hungrier to do something about it when Waverly comes calling, recruiting her as a sleeper agent, and possibly less able to keep her real role in the whole thing a secret from Napoleon and Illya. I can see her as less willing to be used as some kind of pawn by these two spies, who don't have much more experience than her, but ironically that might give her away faster.

[purplehoodiesimon]

When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! Then, send to the last ten people in your notifs (anonymously if you want). You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity ♡

Ay Millie why do you keep giving me these lol 💜💜💜 (I do appreciate it, thinking of things is just Hard™)💜💜💜

1. My dogs, specifically this one (she is not allowed on the couch)

2. My gay little bracelets habit (not all of them are pictured here and not all are YR themed but a lot are 😌)

3. Fish scene fish scene fish scene fish scene fish scene fish scene fish scene

4. Wille's skin on this drawing I did a while ago that I never posted because the skin turned out really fucking good and I just love how it looks.

5. This photo of the moon I took last year because even though it's nothing new or special, it's really neat and I like that it's my photo of the moon. I love the moon and space, it makes me happy.

[dastardlydandelion]

So...what kind of horror movie would you write featuring the Hargrove/ Mayfield family? (That you haven't written already lol)

oh boy, u may regret asking me this bc i am indecisive af and i can’t pick just one!

two that i'm actually writing are max as (g is for) ghostface killer in the abcs of neil’s death and also the max + tory nichols werewolf movie fic outlined here. also some more misc gorror junk bc i’m a demon and esp horny for susan wearing blood splatter. but more ideas commence below:

horror movie #1: another creature feature! awhile back @lucdarling sent me an ask abt max + billy hiding smth from susan and her like, playing along, pretending she doesn't know, and one of the scenarios that popped in my head was them keeping a baby bat as a pet. max finds it and she’s only like six or seven, and she thinks it’s going to turn into a vampire. so here is that scenario except horror edition: baby bat is actually a vampire type creature. not rly a vampire like, what’s prolly popping into ur head, like an undead human like dracula or smth, but like a bat monster that sucks blood.

billy being a lil older doesn’t actually think the bat is going to turn into a vampire. he makes fun of max for believing this, but he helps her take care of it anyway bc he thinks it’s cool. susan, like in the non-horror version, knows abt the bat but plays dumb bc she’s feeling a lot of guilt abt max’s difficulty adjusting to the blended fam (as of rn tho, neil has yet to reveal his abusive nature. the red flags are not yet red, more of a brownish maroon, and he is on his best behavior almost all the time, showering susan + max with affection and keeping the swears out of his mouth when he scolds billy in front of them) and knows the lil furry baby makes her happy. she tacitly cleans up after the bat whenever the kids miss a spot (bats poop a lot, dude) and distracts neil, deterring him from discovering it whenever he gets close.

baby bat gets rly big rly fast. and the older it gets, the more it starts to look monstrous. it still has bat features but it’s just like, different. its fangs grow suspiciously long, its hooks grow suspiciously long. its feet are elongated. a dorsal ridge emerges from its spine, spikes at first just flesh but soft fur rather like peach fuzz eventually sprouting. billy catches on that smth is strange abt this animal when it's as long as his forearm after two wks and still growing. he nearly shits a brick when the bat is clinging to his sweater one day and he steps in front of a mirror and only his reflection looks back at him— no bat.

max laughs at him all like, “stupid brother, ofc there’s no reflection. nosferatu is a vampire, vampires don’t have reflections.” 😂

susan catches a glimpse of the thing when nosferatu crawls out of the home max built it in her closet the same wk billy realizes it doesn’t have a reflection, and also almost shits a brick. she doesn’t know what it is, but it’s NOT a fucking bat. not a normal one, anyway! cue a comedy scene where she’s chasing it around the house with a butterfly net and it’s always one flap *ba dum tss* ahead of her, flying just out of reach. she suddenly regrets not getting rid of it sooner, scolding herself for ever allowing her daughter to keep a wild animal.

she can’t catch it. max comes home, susan tells her she needs to get rid of it. max cries, flips her the bird, refuses. billy tho…billy has mixed feelings. he loves nosferatu but he’s worried it’s going to get dangerous. he loves his dad and his dad is dangerous too. he’s stressed out enough, always on edge, knowing that one way or the other, neil is going to hurt him again. he’s already waiting for his dad to hurt him, he doesn’t need the added stress of waiting for nosferatu to hurt him too. and while max is 100% nosferatu’s favorite, it likes billy too. billy’s been handling it since it could fit in the palm of his hand, it trusts him much more than it trusts susan and doesn’t know any different when billy takes it out of the closet when max isn’t around.

billy frees nosferatu at an abandoned farm. there are always bats flying out of the old silo adjacent to the dilapidated barn. while he knows nosferatu isn’t a *normal* bat, it’s still bat like enough that he thinks it might make friends and be happy here…

yeah, that doesn’t stick. before long, nosferatu is feasting on that colony. leeches the blood out of a couple bats nightly. the number of bats increases with nosferatu’s size. meanwhile, max mourns her missing friend. she’s sullen af and won’t speak to susan at all. she thinks susan is the one who got rid of nosferatu. billy never fesses up and susan doesn’t contradict max’s assumption bc she wants the step-siblings to get along.

neil, meanwhile, is getting more comfortable. those maroon flags are slowly but surely brightening to scarlet. he starts sabotaging susan’s plans with her friends, trying to keep her around the house more and more, quietly but steadily eroding her relationships with other people. he’s getting more visibly aggressive when he disciplines billy. he curses him out with a virulent venom that dunks susan’s stomach in ice water and scares max so badly, she runs to susan and hides behind her even though she’s still so mad that susan got rid of her beloved baby vampire.

nosferatu’s appetite surpasses what the bat colony can offer. it’s like the size of a ten yr old human child now. fucker’s big. it doesn’t just have fangs on top, but tusks on bottom. it can’t go out in the sunlight anymore, the sun sears its flesh. it misses max a lot and before, it wasn’t strong enough to fly back to her house. but now it is. it’s extremely strong, actually.

so bc it's hungry, nosferatu grabs a snack along the way. some nameless rando, it swoops down and sucks dry. nourished and much happier, nosferatu makes its way back home. patiently waits outside of max’s bedroom in the moonlight, tapping its hook against the window until she wakes up. initially max is a lil startled— nosferatu looks so different, there’s a beat before she recognizes it— him?? yk, ig it’s male, the og nosferatu was a guy. sure, why not, nosferatu is a boy now.

once she realizes who it is, she is so! happy! max opens the window and embraces her friend. she isn’t freaked out by the blood on its fangs. she’s always known nosferatu is a vampire, albeit, she was thinking he’d look more like dracula than this bat-monster-thingy.

nosferatu moves back into max’s closet. it hangs upside-down from her rod by its weird, elongated feet. we get more shots of nosferatu sucking rando ppl dry at night, tho he remains gentle with max. when max drags billy in to show her he came back, nosferatu is less friendly with him. he’s not aggressive with billy, but he is standoffish. nosferatu’s thought process is somewhere between human and animal. he doesn’t quite cognitively understand that billy took him to the farm with the intent of getting rid of him, but he does understand that the last time he clung to billy, billy left him alone and never came back. max puts two and two together, and realizes it was billy who “stole” her friend. she yells at him a lot, he yells back, she then ices him out.

billy acts out bc he’s upset. runs away, thinks he’s going to find his mom…the cops find him first and call neil. neil is rly embarrassed and pissed abt the whole thing. he breaks down and beats billy in front of the mayfields for the first time. nosferatu smells the blood and it’s time for the main event! we love dead!neil, yes, we do.

nosferatu flies out the closet and right into the living room where billy’s bleeding and teary but biting his lip so they don’t actually fall. susan’s covering max’s eyes but so shocked and tbh, FRIGHTENED, she doesn’t move a muscle beyond that. neil’s got the belt raised, preparing to bring it down again, and nosferatu smashes right into him. neil stumbles, turns back to see this freaky monster looking thing. proceeds to whip the belt at nosferatu. tries to fight him off with the belt and it doesn’t accomplish much beyond pissing him off more— nosferatu, like most classic vampire types, has a healing factor!

max rips her mom’s hands off her face in time to see her pet sink its fangs into her stepdad’s throat. nosferatu sucks neil dry. billy’s a little dazed, not quite frightened. susan is just dead ass frozen, too scared to scream, even. nosferatu crawls over to billy and nudges at him, making sure he’s in once piece and forgiving him in the same go. max darts over and that snaps susan out of her stupor, but she isn’t as fast as our blood-sucking bat monster.

nosferatu stretches his wings out and with a truly impressive wingspan, hugs both of the kids. <3

horror movie #2: a haunting! this one opens with a bang. it’s a tragic horror, beware. we’re in hawkins post s3. billy died at starcourt mall. neil’s obvi had a longstanding abusive mindset and abusive behavior, but he rly takes his grief out on susan and max. mostly susan. she does her best to protect max however she can, whether that means shielding her w her body, sending her out of the house, getting neil’s goat to inspire his ire in max’s place, etc. but sue simply isn’t around all the time and when she isn’t, but max is, well. yk.

one day neil comes home early (bc he lost his job for a violent outburst, tbh) and discovers susan packing a suitcase.

sue fights hard. she rly does. but neil is bigger, heavier, crueler, and to boot, he caught her completely unawares. he kills her. and no, no it’s not some accidental thing where neil makes one bad move rage-blind. he strangles her with his belt. she’s clawing at his arms and making these horrible choked, trapped animal noises. thrashes and twists her body with everything she has trying to get him off but he’s so strong, his grip is unrelenting, and she's growing weaker, lightheaded with the lack of oxygen. strangulation can induce incontinence and when susan blacks out, her piss streams to the hardwood— neil hears that as much as he felt the clawing and heard the noises, even now he could stop, but he doesn’t. he just. doesn’t think his wife has the right to leave him, esp not after his son just did.

neil burns the body and the suitcase in the woods while max is at school. max has been spending as much time as she can (and often with sue’s prompting) outside of the house, so it actually takes her about two days to realize her mother isn’t around. neil tells a pretty convincing story about how susan abandoned them, voice saturated with apology and sorrow. he takes her out for a fancy dinner and promises he’s going to be a better father-- that being a better father is the least he can do now that her mother abandoned her and they are alone in their grief.

max doesn’t know what to think. she’s been preoccupied with her own grief and pain. she finds it hard to believe her mother would just leave her to neil’s wrath. she has a lot of hangups with susan and anger toward her for marrying neil and not getting them out sooner, but she’s also old enough to realize there would be risks involved with that. it’s hard to reconcile the memory of her mother just last wk pinning max to the wall to protect her from neil’s blows with her own bod just abruptly taking off without a word in the middle of the night. but hey, maybe that’s why susan left. maybe she got sick of protecting her, maybe the pain got to be too much and she turned tail.

but also…it’s early october now, abt three months after billy’s death but still fairly warm outside. yet neil is wearing long sleeves. neil never used to button his collared shirts all the way up, and yet. every collar is buttoned. also, mom’s car is still here. why would mom leave without her car?

that ceramic pelican she loved so much is still here too, on the mantle in the living room. it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing she would leave behind, she's had it since max was a baby.

max almost wants to believe neil because she’d rather her mother abandoned her than be dead somewhere, rotting in a storage locker or a hole in the ground. under the earth with the worms, just like billy. max has the worst feeling low in the pit of her gut. she thinks she knows the truth. she thinks abt going to hopper and hesitates bc she’s not sure she could handle it if he actually found smth. or what would happen to her if he did, where she would be sent, who she would end up with.

this movie would be more on the ambiguous end of things. an arthouse horror, if u will.

the days turn into wks and neil is crawling in his skin. the viewer isn’t sure if the shadows he’s seeing, always, always susan-shaped shadows, are of a ghostly nature or if he’s just hallucinating out of guilt. but the signs gradually point to the former— that smth paranormal is indeed going on. bc those scratches and bite marks susan left in his skin?

they do not heal. they do not get infected. they do not become necrotic. but they do not heal, either. days turn into wks and the wounds still look fresh, like she just left them moments ago. neil can’t wear light colors anymore because his wounds weep red into the fabric. he isn’t just seeing susan’s shadows either, he’s smelling her.

he washes his sheets and pillowcases a dozen times and the scent of her shampoo, her lotion, it’s like it’s woven into the fibers. he walks into the hallway and chokes on the aroma of susan’s perfume. he wonders if max is screwing with him, if max figured it out and she’s trying to torture him into a confession. one day he stomps off to max's bedroom, furious, adamant on confronting her. he grabs her doorknob, prepared to yank it open and then lets out a yelp, jerking his hand back with a sudden sharp pain.

it feels like a bee sting (which would be esp bad for this fucker in anything i write, bc i headcanon him as being allergic). but there’s no stinger. no injury. nothing. neil is freaked out enough that he backs down.

max, on the other hand, is getting gentler signs. when she turns the radio dial in the camaro, it’s somehow always her mom’s favorite songs that come thru the speakers. when she goes to pull clothes out of her drawers in the morning, she discovers that the things she’d just shoved inside in wrinkled balls are perfectly folded, neat as a pin, exactly like how susan always folded. susan was always fond of cardinals and suddenly max is seeing cardinals, pretty red cardinals, in just abt erry tree and shrub.

neil wakes up one night to his wife’s voice whispering “boo” right in his ear. he throws the covers off and discovers ashes in the bed. he doesn’t smell susan’s shampoo or lotion anymore, he smells the kerosine he’d poured all over her body.

his wounds still won’t heal. whenever he looks in the mirror, he catches a glimpse of susan walking past behind him, peering at him from her peripheral. he whips around, heart hammering, but there’s never any tangible person there.

max is almost certain her mother is dead at this point. neil’s been so bizarrely nice to her lately. she never believed in ghosts but her experiences with the upside-down broadened her perception of reality. she doesn’t know how else to explain the songs, the cardinals, the folded clothes. the way that these days, whenever she does feel fear toward neil, it just fades away. her fear melts like popsicles in the sun, immediately replaced by the sensation of a warm, maternal hug, as if arms she can’t see are trying to reassure her she truly doesn’t need to be afraid of him anymore.

in fact, max feels so unafraid of neil and brave, that one night she calls him out on it. he’s grizzled and unshaven in his recliner, beer in hand. she steps in front of the television he’s vacantly fixated on and folds her arms across her chest.

“you killed my mom, didn’t you?”

quick as a flash, neil leaps to his feet. he brings his arm back like he’s going to strike her and susan’s ceramic pelican on the mantle explodes into shards. the lights flicker, the television program cuts to snow with a static roar. every other knickknack on the mantle rattles and framed photos tumble off the wall.

neil very wisely lowers his hand. he slumps, boneless. he doesn’t say a word. max sees the answer in his eyes. it’s the dead of night and she snatches the camaro keys off the hook, marching out of the house, slamming the door behind her. it’s the dead of night and she doesn’t care. she’s going to blow past every stop sign and pound on the chief’s door until he opens up. and fuck, i just realized if this is post s3 he’s supposed to be in russia. shit. i don’t watch this show, but i know abt russia bc i DID watch the clips of that demogorgon that i rly hope isn’t stuck in captivity!! okay, but let’s pretend that didn’t happen?

it’s an au?? i mean, errything i write is always technically an au anyway, bc when i write stuff susan has an actual personality and billy isn’t *completely* abhorrent. okay, so it’s an au and mr. hopper didn’t blow up and un-blow up in russia. he’s still here. so max drives to his house.

she pounds on the door so hard this guy snaps outta bed, thinking someone’s trying to bust it down. she tells him neil confessed to killing her mom. it isn’t true, exactly, but he didn’t have to. so it’s a helluva grim drive back to cherry lane, this time in the cop car.

but when they go inside, chief prepared to arrest neil, no need. neil’s hanging from the belt he strangled susan with, shirtless for the first time since that night, erry seemingly fresh furrow and bite mark on full display. below his dangling feet is a map, the area he burned susan’s corpse in circled in red marker. did he kill himself or did the ghost do it?

up to u, we soundlessly cut to credits without a concrete answer to that question.

horror movie #3: crossover special! stranger things meets the chilling adventures of sabrina. sequel to that fic i wrote where susan makes out with lilith, queen of hell, and lilith kills neil for her. sue officially joins the church of lilith. bc in this ‘verse the church of lilith actually happens after caos s2 instead of the nonsense that was s3 and the inconceivably godawful migraine-inducing shit-fest that was s4.

killing neil was lilith’s only freebee. susan isn’t a witch, she’s a mortal, so in order to reap the other rewards of worshipping the one and only mother of demons, she has to fornicate with the witches and participate in the sacrifices!!!

this is, uh, well. it’s p much a porno, dude, sorry. 😅

this is just an excuse for susan to have sex with lilith, zelda, marie, hilda, big witch orgies + susan. witches bathing in the blood of their sacrifices, susan so nervous and timid but unable to deny her desire. the witch’s dressing her in their gothic garb.

how does the rest of the fam get it on this?

max joins the church too. she has more age-appropriate conduct with sabrina and the weird sisters, and what have you. just smooches and over-the-clothes groping, and whatnot, even tho the weird sisters, at least, would be interested in going further if given the opportunity.

billy dies in starcourt again, so he gets revived in the cain pit! hilda is the one who goes to him after bc she’s been in the cain pit many a time (i am still BIG side-eyeing zelda for repeatedly murdering her sister since childhood). hilda understands how jarring it can be to come back. suddenly alive!billy is freaking tf out but she brings him inside the mortuary, wraps him up in a big blanket burrito and they have a talk. hilda explains that he’s going to be okay and rubs his back while he tentatively sips the hot chocolate she made.

after billy’s calmed down, she brings max and susan in. max and susan can’t do as much magic as the caos witches— they’re mortals, after all, it’s not in their nature —but they’ve gained some abilities thru being in the church, following the rituals, and being carnally involved with the immortal witches. max happily shows him some of her new magic tricks.

horror movie #4: another crossover with caos. heavily inspired by creepshow episode s2e1, model kid (which i already v blatantly referenced in the last axe snafu update and i’m not ashamed, bc it’s a good series i love v much).

billy picks max up from the byers’ place rly late one night. it’s dark and the weather is bad and okay, yeh, he might be a little high. and a little concussed. he pissed neil off pretty bad the other day and okay, actually he’s defo concussed bc he doesn’t even remember what he did wrong!

needless to say, they take a wrong turn somewhere. they end up in greendale. at first max is pissed. she yells at him a lot! yells so loud hilda can hear them thru the walls of dr. cerberus’s comic shop/diner. she goes outside to see what all the fuss is abt, hilda never rly ignores youth in need. we love hilda, she deserved so much better…i’m getting distracted, okay, back to the story.

hilda ushers them inside. max is like, “ooh, comics? horror junk and comics? nvm, i’m not mad anymore.” she pats billy’s arm and wanders away to go check stuff out! hilda makes billy sit down. caos canon established that she’s psychic, at least when she wants to be. she smells the weed but she also sees his life, his trauma. billy doesn’t remember what he did to piss neil off or the abuse that followed, but hilda sees it clear as day.

he’s rude and cranky w her when she probes a little too much for his liking. hilda gently but firmly reprimands him and gets him a milkshake on this house. then she goes to check on max. she steers max to a v particular section of the shop, the one that sells model kits. now, max isn’t *huge* into model kits BUT they are p neat and she enjoys them well enough. more so when the weather is nasty and she can’t go outside. or when she needs smth to do with her hands (a trait she shares w susan) to distract herself and ease some of the anxiety when she hears her brother being beaten or her mother being shouted at.

max is actually rly impressed by the array of models. vintage ones and newer ones. monsters, slashers, final girls, tiny accessories like knives and bloodied heads. but when she gets to the paint-your-own shelf, her jaw drops to the floor.

there’s one that looks just like neil. unpainted, plain gray vinyl, but undoubtedly her stepdad. the expression on the five inch figurine is one frozen in fear.

“i think that one’s calling to you,” hilda prompts her, with the softest smile.

max blinks away her bewilderment altho she still can’t speak. she turns to hilda and turns her empty pockets inside out. hilda just waves her hand. she tells her it’s on the house. that it wouldn’t be fair if she gave billy smth on the house, but not max.

speaking of billy, when he finishes his milkshake, he’s suddenly totally sober and healed!! no more high buzzing in his blood. no more pounding headache or concussion fogging his mind. he doesn’t feel his bruises anymore, rolls his sleeve up, and realizes they simply aren’t there anymore. like they dissolved off his skin.

albeit it’s muttered under his breath, but billy does thank hilda. then he and max are on their way. max shows him the suspiciously familiar figurine in the box. this night cannot get weirder.

max knows what to do with the model kit. she does. she isn’t sure how she knows, but she does. she grapples with it for a long time. neil’s the closest thing she has to a dad these days. and things aren’t bad all the time, ofc.

sometimes neil gives max a ride when mom and billy aren’t available. sometimes he brings her ice cream entirely unprompted. neil’s the one who picks max up off the sidewalk when she wipes out super bad on her skateboard, carries her inside and then later to the car when her cut doesn’t stop bleeding and she ends up needing stitches.

but most of the time he sucks. she can’t rly be herself around him. he's indifferent to her interest at best, scornful at worst. he would hate all her friends. he scares the shit out of her when he’s angry. he doesn’t have a problem belittling her mother in front of her, tearing susan to shreds and making her out like she’s lower than dirt, the most worthless person on the planet. doesn’t have a problem beating billy in front of her or glaring at her with the promise that she’ll be next if she dares to voice her dissent.

max doesn’t always want to do what she knows she’s meant to do with the model. bc she's kind at heart and bc on the good days, she genuinely does have mixed feelings toward neil. never enough to hope he'll be better, he's proven he won't...but maybe enough to hope he won't get worse, either.

then comes the night neil breaks ribs. bad, like we’re talking, a-sharp-spear-of-broken-rib-punctures-billy’s-lung-and-he’s-coughing-up-blood-bad. that’s a trip to the emergency room. in the days that follow, at her next dnd meeting w the party, max places the fully and attentively painted model of her stepdad on the table. normally her pals would protest her derailing the intended game, but they can sense it, yk, that smth is different.

max takes over as dungeon master to the protest of no one, all other mouths sealed as if bewitched and spellbound. she narrators a scene where the demogorgon devours neil and uses the demogorgon piece and the model for demonstration.

when max returns home, neil is strewn across the house in gory chunks and torn wallpaper curls around massive claw marks.