#this took me forever rip

[hinamie]

the new jjk cafe fits have been living in my head . no thoughts except yuuji in a letterman

[haydanakin]

-Edgar Allen Poe

prequels appreciation week: day 1 + day 2 — Protagonists + Antagonists ↳ ANAKIN SKYWALKER

[amberantlers]

"It's why you're still here."

Hi. You should read this fantastic radiohusk fic, On Cloud Nine by @arahusk

It's so good, I might be a little obsessed with it. I need a physical copy so I can hold it in my hands and bite it.

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

In my opinion

There is no denying that House loves Cuddy. It's obvious, everybody knows it, there's no debate. Cuddy also loves House, again, obvious, no debate. But the way that Cuddy loves House is not the same as the way that Wilson does.

Cuddy acknowledges Houses issues, and she loves him in spite of them. She sees the worst parts of him, the "undesirable" parts of House, and she chooses to look beyond them. She sees the man that he is aside from those things, and she makes the conscious choice to coexist with those parts of him in exchange for being together with the parts that she loves. An example would be House's jealousy. She acknowledges that he can be extremely jealous, and she agrees to look past it because he's also very loving and protective. That's why when House continues to make mistakes, she becomes more and more disappointed. Because she sees a man who she believes could do better, falling back into his "old ways." She will try to convince herself that it's not a surprise when he does "bad" things, and she tries to convince herself that she doesn't need him to change, but the truth is that she does. Cuddy is a mother. She is a very mature, professional woman, and she wants to settle down. House, as he exists in the show, would not be able to live up to par with those expectations. I'm not saying he couldn't be a great dad to Rachel, or that he wouldn't love Cuddy, but he would realistically would not be able to act the way she needs and deserves for the rest of their lives. And when he does inevitably do something destructive, she will struggle to deal with it. Because she sees House as someone split down two sides, the "good" side, and the "bad" side, and she will expect him to focus on the "good" side, so when House does something wrong, it will feel like a personal attack, because she will see it as him not fighting hard enough to not give in to his "bad" side for her. And that's not to say anything bad about Cuddy, because the fact that she needs somebody who is the type of person that House just can not realistically be is neither of their faults. But I believe that House fully understands all of this. He is crumbling under the pressure of living up to Cuddy's expectations. He is constantly trying to fight his "bad" side so that he can be what she needs. But in reality, he is not two separate parts. There is no "good" and "bad" House. They are one in the same. With her, he has to fight to be what she needs. He has to fight to change. So when stressful things happen, his fight or flight response kicks in, and he runs. Because he's scared. He's scared that he is going to do something that will disappoint her. He is scared he won't live up to her expectations. With Cuddy, he has to sacrifice parts of himself to attempt to be who she needs. And it's just not sustainable. You can't live like that forever. All the good becomes overshadowed by constant anxiety and stress. It leads to House's mental health plummeting because he starts to hate himself for not being able to get rid of that "bad side." And so when Cuddy needs him during stressful times, he can't bring himself to be there for her fully, because he is so focused on the "good" side of him coming out, that he starts to lose himself.

With Wilson, however, it is basically the exact opposite. Wilson doesn't see two different sides of House. He sees one person who is incredibly multifaceted. He recognizes those "undesirable" parts of House, and he loves them just the same as he loves the "good" parts. Because he sees no divide. When House does things that are hurtful, he still calls him out, but he doesn't see it as a personal failure. He sees it as just a part of House. Like yeah, he'll insult your fatal illness, but he'll shoot some random guy with a spud gun for insulting you. Where as Cuddy would see those as two separate, distinct sides, Wilson sees those as a conjoined whole. He doesn't love House in spite of his issues. He loves House because of his issues. Because House's struggles are a part of what makes House who he is. So Wilson can fight with him and be mad at him and hurt him, but he doesn't expect House to throw away or "overcome" parts of himself. He would love for House to give up drugs, but he doesn't expect House to give up his addictive tendencies. There's a balance, and it's all an equal part of House. And so because of this, when House and Wilson are put in stressful situations, House doesn't feel like he has to run. He feels safe. Because he knows even if he says something wrong, and even if he upsets Wilson, Wilson is not going to leave him. Wilson does not have these high expectations for him that he feels like he is being forced to fill. And so he can focus on genuinely being in the moment and being there for Wilson because he is not fighting with himself, and he is not scared. He has trust in Wilson and enough trust in their relationship to know that they will work things out. I think the fact that they have very similar issues also helps a lot. He can be mean to Wilson and lash out, and Wilson will recognize that House is doing that because he is scared and because he loves him. In return, Wilson can also insult House and make fun of him because he's just as destructive. They meet each other on the same level because they are equals. House does not feel like Cuddy's equal. He feels like she is better than him, and he can't be himself with her. Him and Wilson know each other as well as they know themselves, and they're not constantly making the other feel like there are high expectations they have to fight to reach in order to love each other or be "worthy" of each other. They're just House and Wilson.

But I have no idea what I'm talking about, so take this with a grain of salt.

[missingn000]

hey all! i wrote a what-if character study & action fic for if king fought sanji instead of zoro during the raid on onigashima. i'd really love if you gave it a read! thanks so much!

link

playlist

happy reading!

[affluent-havoc]

Treasure

[hyakunana]

I kinda got hit with Jyamahaki thoughts

[shattered-earth]

Some of my favorite in tape designs!!!!!! (That I designed.. lol)

They are all "stamp" type tape, i even paid the factory extra to get custom molds for these because I love the differing lengths and shapes of real stamps as well as amore delicate line of circles vs the default molds with huge circles.

There was a little drama at some point because the factory was letting people use my mold that I paid for but I cleared it up @_@;;

Anyway I don't go to cons anymore so I will probably have to stop selling washi tape cause they don't do so hot online especially for the price we have to sell them at to make it worth it for these complex designs + foil etc. No regretti tho, to see them in person is worth it.

All my washi tape (there's more than this too lol) are buy 4 get 1 free~

[ratajota]

a cat family commission :o)

[blackjackkent]

The back room of the House of Grief always strikes me a little like those rooms in a museum where you go to watch a little movie about the subject matter before being let loose into the exhibit.

I had Rakha instruct Shadowheart to take the lead here, but it just occurred to me to see if you actually get to do the "mapping" if Shadowheart doesn't take the lead - and you do! And actually I feel like it's pretty interesting for Rakha under the circumstances, and I didn't do it with Hector, and I'm always a sucker for scenes that entail plumbing an OCs emotional depths.

So we're going to play around with this after all.

-----

Rakha really does intend to let Shadowheart take the lead through the Sharran facility. All she does is sit down on the bench while Shadowheart examines the room - and as she does, she feels a wrenching in the Weave behind her, the twisting rip of a dimension door.

A voice at her elbow makes her jump. "You seek to be Unburdened, yes?"

The voice is unfamiliar - dark and low and surprisingly gentle. An equally unfamiliar woman has appeared at Rakha's side, slender in build with dark violet skin visible through slits in the black fabric of her robe.

She tilts her head as Rakha glances at her. "The Mapping of the Heart can reveal the way... yet there is another here whose need is great."

Shadowheart, standing next to the others at the wall, has gone deathly still. "That voice..." she whispers. "Allow me-- I think I'm supposed to do this."

And she should. She should step aside. This place is Shadowheart's past, not hers. The fight that certainly lies ahead is Shadowheart's fight. Their very presence here is on Shadowheart's behalf.

And yet... and yet...

You seek to be unburdened, yes?

The beast, the Dark Urge, is gone from her - but its absence has not healed the grief or guilt or rage or pain that it left behind. And in the end she still carries the same need that led her to follow the Emperor for so long - the desperate, futile hope that there is some magic by which all the damaged parts of her might slough away, leaving behind only a peaceful and unbroken whole.

These people are enemies, and yet she must see what succor they offer before she destroys them.

"Keep back, Shadowheart," she mutters hoarsely. Her fingers curl into fists in her lap.

Out of the corner of her eye, she can see the anger that flashes across Shadowheart's face - but the cleric waits, as instructed.

Amusement touches the stranger's voice. "You cow her so easily? I had thought I sensed more strength to her. Perhaps not..." She snorts softly, a barely audible exhalation. "We shall begin."

Rakha turns towards her, eyes narrowing. The mocking at Shadowheart's expense has briefly struck through her own preoccupation, prodding up a hint of anger- but the woman cuts across her before she can speak. "Do not look upon me."

And Rakha goes still, turns away. There is no resisting that voice; it hums with power, it is soothing, it is steady and unrevealing as stone.

"This is your time, not mine," the woman murmurs. "Look inward. See what will be discovered."

Rakha realizes suddenly that she is trembling. She has hurled herself headlong into this moment, but it should have been Shadowheart's, and whatever peace might be on offer, she does not want to look inward to find it. Inward is a place stained with blood.

"Perhaps this was a mistake," she mutters, and moves to rise.

But again the stranger's voice seems to freeze her in place, helpless before that implacable calm. "Hush..." she croons. "You have already taken the first difficult step. Now you merely have to sit here a while and talk to me..."

-----

"What is happening?" Wyll hisses under his breath. "Who is this?"

"The Mother Superior," Shadowheart answers in a low, flat voice. Her eyes are wide with apprehension. "I hope Rakha knows what she's doing."

"I think we can be quite certain," Jaheira says darkly, "that she does not." One of the Harper's hands rests on the hilt of her scimitar, and her eyes are fixed on the barely visible outline of the stranger's face.

"Chk. Then let us attack," Lae'zel mutters. "She places herself in danger. And this is not why we have come here."

Jaheira frowns. "And put the whole place on alert? No," she answers curtly. "Settle yourself, Minsc," she adds curtly to the Rashemaar, who has begun to straighten to his full height.

"But Jaheira, do you not see that it is--"

"I said be calm," Jaheira snaps under her breath. "This moment sits on a blade's edge, ranger. Do not tip it into chaos."

-----

"You are here because something grieves you," the stranger says softly. "Perhaps you know what that is. Perhaps you merely think you know. The Mapping will reveal your heartform. Then the healing can begin."

Rakha's breath catches raggedly in her throat. She should never have begun to listen, but now that she has, she finds she cannot stop. What healing might this woman offer her?

The woman's head lifts a little, a thoughtful tilt to one side. "Answer the questions I put to you. And answer honestly - the lips may try to deceive, but the heart will offer the truth in the end. Let us begin..."

A minuscule pause, and then she asks, "What last caused you to shed a tear?"

(A/N: Doing a little tweaking on some of these answers to make them more Rakha-ish. As usual, the text in italics is in-game dialogue, text not in italics is mine.)

Rakha has only a few memories of crying. But she remembers the last instance with painful clarity. She sat in a pool of her own blood and sobbed as Withers told her that there was more to her than the beast that had been ripped out of her soul.

"Hope,"(*) she whispers.

"So be it," murmurs the woman. "The second question - what is your unspoken desire?"

So many desires have crossed through her in the past - the hunger for blood, for chaos, for destruction. But those violent desires are gone now, leaving behind softer and subtler things - and in the end there is only one thing she has ever truly wanted, even while the violence ravaged her.

"To be at peace,"(**) she answers.

"Your heartform begins to take shape." The soothing tone takes on an edge now, feeling the hook set and steady. "The third question - what is your greatest fear?"

Rakha's jaw works. She has far more of these than desires. But in truth one of them stands out far above the rest now, because the thought of it is wreathed in a memory of overwhelming pain and blood and everything she has most hated about herself.

"My father,"(***) she whispers.

The stranger hums softly. "The heartform grows clearer again. Such a burden you carry... but we can help." Rakha hears the subtle shift of fabric as the woman turns slightly towards her. "The fourth question. How would you spite one who wronged you?"

Rakha says nothing for a long time. This question, she finds, has a simple answer, and she does not like it. She would have liked to believe that all the violence in her nature vanished when the beast was torn from her, that now in her rebirth she can, without any struggle, manifest Wyll's gentleness, Minsc's good humor, Jaheira's wisdom.

But the answer to this question is the same as it has always been, because she is still her in the end. She might be a little softer, a little slower to strike, and her violence is no longer founded on helpless, animal hunger. But she is still blunt and direct, and she has not forgotten Lae'zel's words that formed the core of her world when she had nothing else to guide her. Attack with purpose and savor your kills.

"I would kill them," she admits flatly.

The woman laughs softly. "So simple? As you wish..." A slight pause, then: "The final question. How would you feel, if all your burdens were lifted?"

Another long, long, long silence. Yes. This is what she wants, what she hoped for in even seeking this conversation. A lifting of her burdens, a sanding off of the scarred places in her soul.

And yet... even in answering these questions, she has seen a new and uncomfortable truth. Much of her has been emptied out by the removal of the beast; if the scars are taken away too... there will be nothing left.

"I would be lesser," she admits, very low, almost inaudible. "My burdens molded me."

The Sharran woman's voice turns dryly approving. "You know the value of suffering. Good. Life is full of it - whether you welcome it or not."

She turns her head. "It is done. Your heartform has revealed itself to me." Rakha catches a glimpse of intense violet eyes peering at her from under the black hood. "You possess a violent heart. Rage grips you. Blood inflames you. The House of Grief knows such burdens - and can lift such burdens."

(A/N: Wellp. Ouch.)

Yes. It is true. She has seen flashes of it in the last few minutes, the painful realization that has been waiting for her to notice it, ever since the temple of Bhaal. The beast is gone, but the soul it shaped remains, and the path to peace is no easier now than it ever was.

But this woman will be no help to her. She already knows what Wyll would tell her, if she could make him understand this revelation. It is her path to tread, and no other's - least of all this Sharran, Shadowheart's enemy. She should not have sat here and listened in the first place.

"You're wrong about me," she says quietly. Not wrong in your description, but wrong that you are the ones to save me.

"This is your own judgment of yourself," the woman says calmly. "Embrace the truth your heart shares - however painful." Again the sound of shifting fabric, this time as the woman stands. "Our help comes at a price, one that cannot be discussed here. We will talk further - but first, an introduction."

Rakha turns in time to see the woman pull the hood away from her head.

"I am Viconia DeVir," she says coolly. She is a drow, Rakha can now see - not unlike Minthara in her violet skin and pale hair. "The House of Grief is mine. But what lies beneath - that belongs to my mistress, and that is where you must go."

"Viconia DeVir," Jaheira says icily. One of the scimitars is out in her hand now, in spite of her earlier admonitions, and her eyes have narrowed to tight slits with dislike. "Alas, I know you a little too well to follow you into a dark hole in the ground."

"You," Minsc snarls at her side, unable to restrain his own anger any longer. "Boo would have caught your foul scent, had you not confounded his nose with evil Sharran incense."

"Always a pleasure to see old acquaintances," Viconia answers sardonically. "But you would be wise not to interfere in what is to come." Her eyes drift from Jaheira to Minsc, then to Rakha, and then finally to Shadowheart, where they settle with a cool sneer.

"We will talk more down below," she says, and vanishes.

----

(*) Under the hood there is an actual calculation going on between several different possible results here, so I selected the nearest equivalent in the available options - "A beautiful sunset."

(**) In-game selection: "To be held."

(***) This one was pretty hard to find an equivalent for in the available options and, unfortunately, affects the way the fight later plays out. In the end I chose "Darkness" but we may end up headcanoning a different manifestation for this in the battle.

[soulless-bleach]

Dream-Gin Ichimaru

[yourenotmygirlfriend]

happy birthday to niall horan!! i had the BEST time at the show in dallas a while ago, and im finally ready to share some pics :D hope you enjoy!! :)

ft niall vs bug video :)

[thegroovyskull]

Lapearl jumpscare

[ccstiles]

Part 2 of my maid dress series!

Auron is not impressed or phased lol

[note-boom]

I had a sudden vision whilst reading Antagonistic Quarter

[carbonateddelusion]

sits here. my mood has been swinging back and forth like a pendulum lately