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#this took all day for no reason im sorry i kept getting distracted from it
dogtoling · 2 years
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I got Engel! they're so cute, could you tell me more about them?
A few people have asked about Engel actually and I'm not going to reply to all of those (since it's like, the same answer) so i'll do this one!!
I'm pretty sure I posted his design thing from last year on here but here he is (yes, he is a dude despite how he dresses. he is incredibly used to people thinking he is a girl. and he doesn't really care at this point)
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Interestingly he is actually not from Octaria OR Inkopolis but actually grew up in the Deepsea and he hated it, like, a lot. Which explains why when he got settled on the surface, he founded a band called Deep Sea Dead Zone. because the deep sea is a dead goddamn place.
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Their first album came out in 2017 and the second one, well... it hasn't happened yet because their guitarist kinda fucked off. That guitarist being Dodo, while the other band members are Boy and Peppermint. They're still kinda in the process of recruiting a new one, and while Engel has PLENTY of songs written and probably almost ready to go, the band is still stuck in a bit of limbo because everyone is STILL kind of busy with you know, adult stuff, and other life stuff
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(the unhinged cover photo. In spite of how cute Engel likes to dress, his songs are.... hm..... yeah)
The main thing going on for him is being the lead guy for the band, which has also resulted in him being micro-celebrity mostly on social media, but he's also looking to be a fashion designer. Kind of a lot in his life got messed up because of the band going on hiatus and other things happening that threw him out of the loop... he's not a very stable person and yes i took the twitter thread from some tumblr post i saw and edited him into it
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(and peppermint. they're best friends and used to be roomies)
Engel is a really outgoing and energetic person usually, and he really doubles down on the cute aesthetics, so a lot of people who don't specifically know him from his band are really surprised to learn what kind of music he writes. In total contrast to how his personality seems to be, like a lot of lyrics are ridiculously moody, angry or straight up depressing...
so basically, he's got a lot going for him but also a lot going against him, mostly his own mental health and past trauma. But he HAS been doing much better recently (therapy, meds et cetera) AND he even has a slug now to help with a feeling of normalcy. Living alone is pretty difficult for him especially with how busy a lot of his friends have been pretty much since their turf team broke up a good few years ago... that was way before Splatoon 2 and before the band even existed
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(his emotional support slug, Meat, is pictured in the tableturf drawing)
briefly about his turf team, during the era of Splatoon 1 turf wars in the early 2010's, Deep Sea Dead Zone were a blue ink battling team! (though that was not their name.) Peppermint was a Krak-On Splat Roller, Boy was a .52 Gal, Dodo was an E-Liter 3K and Engel was, of course, a Carbon Roller
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He was also brand new to the surface, could barely speak the language, and had to pretty much sneak out to meet up and play with his friends. It's a whole thing. Playing with friends was always the main draw of ink battling as a sport for him, obviously, even though he was pretty decent on his own. When Peppermint had to retire from them due to health reasons, no one (except Dodo because he was never in it for the friends anyway) really felt the urge to keep playing anymore, so he's not touched ink battling since like, probably 2015
With that being said though.... Peppermint has returned to Turf Wars and looks like she misses him
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Dragonfly
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zhongli/f.reader
genre: morax/zhongi, immortal!cursed!reader, miko/shrinemaiden!reader, angst, hurt/comfort(?), slow burn, reunion, traveler is NOT y/n, implied xiao/traveler,
warning(s)!!: mentions of: death/repetitive deaths, war, past suicides, the suffering of immortality in a mortal body, for the sake of this fic dragonflies are semi-common in teyvat/liyue lol, xiao considers zhongli/reader parental figures, things will definitely not follow canon timelines, Xiao is a frequent/important character, characters may be ooc (im sorry)
w.count: 15.6k (i am so sorry)
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SYNOPSIS: fate and time are cruel kings ruling over even gods. morax is no exception. the only human he ever fell in love with was twisted by fate to battle him in a brewing war. the image of the burning temple that she resided in rested behind his eyelids and not a day goes by that he does not still mourn and yearn. time had cruelly taken you away from him. or... had it?
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“Hello Traveler!” The soft yet chipper voice of the ever-pranking funeral director calls out from behind the blond Outworlder. The day in Liyue was still young and bright as the umber-clad young lady walks up to both them and Paimon who had floated herself bouncily from the Traveler’s right shoulder to the left. 
“Oh,” Paimon begrudgingly acknowledges, form bobbing in the air comfortably. “It's Hu Tao.” 
“Paimon,” Traveler scolds, crossing their arms over their chest. Paimon just sighs as the blond looks to the funeral director who had come close enough for conversion and unfolds their arms, bringing them down to their sides relaxingly. “Good to see you, Hu Tao,” they greet with a small nod.
“Indeed,” Hu Tao nods back, closing her eyes briefly in glee before reopening them. “It is lovely to see you. Are you here to visit Liyue? Or, perhaps another pressing matter brought you back to this nation once again.” 
“It’s nothing drastic,” Traveler dismisses. “We just.... had some time on our hands. So, we’re just visiting.” Partially, that was the truth. However, the full truth was that there was most definitely something the pair could be doing instead of wandering around Liyue. But it was important to take time for yourself sometimes, right? 
“Well, feel free to stop by the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor if you’re interested! I’d be happy to host the both of you for a meal.” 
“You mean, Zhongli would host us?” Paimon quips up knowing that, as Hu Tao’s consultant, Zhongli’s job descriptions can vary in terms of tasks. However, when Paimon spoke Hu Tao lifted her arms up towards herself. One wrapped around her chest and rested the elbow of her other, resting her curled fingers against her chin in thought. 
“Perhaps, not this time. Zhongli has had something on his mind these days.” The woman brought her curled hand and arms back down, now gesturing them softly in front of her as she spoke more. “It would feel distasteful to ask him to host guests at the moment.” 
The mention of Zhongli being mentally occupied made the Traveler and Paimon look at each other. They were privy to a lot of information the consultant kept tucked away from public knowledge- for good reason. The staged death of Morax for one. Although Hu Tao had once speculated that Zhongli could possibly be an Adeptus, she surely didn’t know that she wasn’t exactly far off from a bullseye. 
Still, the fact that Zhongli, the former Lord of Geo, was distracted so much that Hu Tao had essentially dismissed him of some of his duties was a concerning thought. He never seemed the type to dwell so much on something that it obstructed his work.
“I’ve tried asking him about it before,” Hu Tao continues, “since he gets like this around the same time every year. All he’s ever spoken to me about it is that someone he knew from his past had died around this time. It felt… wrong to pry into his past more for some reason.” It wasn’t an odd statement coming from her. She often took her work very seriously, even if she herself was a spitfire of a young lady. 
“Someone from his past died?” Paimon asked, already knowing about his past with the Adepti and The Seven. Perhaps, it had something to do with them? Either way, the concern was planted in the Traveler’s chest, so it felt only natural to find the ex-Archon and try and get some answers out of him. Maybe, since the pair had already known about his identity it would be easier to talk about. Or, that was the hope at least. 
Hu Tao and the Traveler spoke briefly for a moment longer with the usual snarky comment from Paimon before going their separate ways. Hu Tao had apparently been on her way out to fulfil a clients few specific requests and her stop for a chat was pushing to make her behind on her work. Paimon didn’t mind if she went on her way sooner rather than later, the dealing with the dead had always been creepy to the floating companion. 
Regardless, Hu Tao was a nice lady. Traveler would make sure to stop by and see her more, maybe indulge her hobby of poetry a bit. 
The two had walked around the busy streets of Liyue for a while trying to find Zhongli. He wasn’t at the funeral parlor, much to their dismay at making it an easy search, so they just starting wandering hoping to catch him somewhere along the way. Soon enough, they had wandered just far enough to catch a glimpse of his long brown tailcoat at Liyue Harbor. 
In retrospect, they should have started their search here if the funeral parlor was a bust. 
Zhonglig stood with his hands tucked neatly into each other behind his back, shoulders slack as he looked out over the landscape. He was basking in the solitude at the top arch of the harbor’s bridge when he hear the approaching sounds of footsteps. Turning his chin, he unclasped his hands and let his arms fall from his back before turning to greet the approaching Traveler. 
“Ah,” his deep voice reverberates and only the closest to him can detect the faux sound of a choked strain in it. “Greetings, Traveler.” 
“Hello, Zhongli!” Paimon greets floating just a fraction ahead of Traveler. “What were you doing?” She already begins to pry with a suspiciously high-strained voice. It just makes Traveler silently sigh and shake their head. She really needed to work on being more conspicuous. 
It’s quiet for a moment before Zhongli already catches on. Perhaps he can be a bit dense about certain aspects of the mortal realm, but he was by no means a fool. A smile finds its way on his lips in a moment of mild amusement at Paimon’s grace, or rather lack thereof. 
“I was merely lost in thought. Reminiscing about the past, you could say.” 
“The past?” She pressed again.
“Paimon,” the Traveler hisses for the second time that day. The floating girl just opened her jaw in mock offense before floating closer to them. 
“What? What did Paimon say now!” 
Zhongli’s low chuckle was a soft tune that at least showed he wasn’t offended by the blatant attempt at coaxing his thoughts out of his lips. 
“Did the Director send you to find me perhaps?” The fact that he was trying to slowly steer the conversation away wasn’t lost to the Traveler. Paimon and them both looked back to Zhongli shaking their heads. 
“Not exactly,” Traveler starts. 
“We did run into her though,” Paimon tacks on. “She told us you had been down in the dumps, so we came to check on you!” Paimon’s small hands came to her hips and her chest puffed out as if proud of her actions of checking in with a friend. 
Zhongli chuckles once again at the way Traveler places their hands on their hips as well,. Though, they were instead sending a playful scowl at the back of Paimon’s head.
“It is quite refreshing to see the two of you bicker,” he chides. “It certainly helps in easing the mind.” Once more, the two’s attention was drawn back to the former god. 
“So,” Traveler starts before Paimon could interject with something else, “there is something on your mind?” There was a growing fit of silence between the group of three, no one speaking in fear of shattering something they couldn’t exactly describe. Zhongli seemingly caved with a minuscule sigh kept more to himself than the harbor’s breeze. 
“The assumption that I’ve been a bit… preoccupied is correct. Lately, it seems I cannot focus on certain tasks for too long. My mind has a bit of a tendency to wander around this time of year.” Zhongli can already see the look of curiously mixed with concern written into the eyes of both Paimon and Traveler. His own eyes flick around the bridge and beyond the harbor’s main port before returning back to his visitors. “If you’re very interested to know, then I would not mind trying to explain it all over some tea. Though, it would be best if we took the topic of conversation elsewhere.” 
The sudden shift in his demeanor was almost palpable. It was like a cloak of grey mist started to waft around his very being at the mention of speaking his mind. Now that the two outsiders got the confirmation that whatever it was that was plaguing him was of the past he doesn’t let others know of, they were ready for a lengthy story. 
Zhongli had graciously invited the Traveler and Paimon to his personal abode, a place they had never even set eyes on. Of course, they knew he had to have had a place to stay and sleep, but for some reason it felt like all he ever did was walk around Liyue, do his work at the funeral parlor, or listen to stories at the Third-Round Knockout. It shouldn’t have been a shock to know he had his own home, but all the same, it was. 
It was simplistic inside, with the shelves being the only things of high value because of all the collected items he had bought and stored on them. Gesturing them both to a set of chairs between a table, he began brewing tea to serve as promised. 
Traveler sat awkwardly at first. Shuffling around in their chair while Paimon floated around the open space of the house being nosier than she should’ve been truthfully. Still, Zhongli didn’t say anything about her snooping so she continued to do so until the homeowner returned with a tray in his hands. 
A decorative teapot sat in the middle of the dark, wooden tray atop a plain towel; the steam of the hot, freshly brewed tea wisped out gracefully from its spout. Beside it were three small teacups placed upside down that clattered with the smallest sounds of finely made clay as he set the tray in the center of the table. Along with them was a small dish of cubes of sugar and a small creamer that held milk inside it. 
Zhongli skillfully took the teacups and flipped them over, setting them all upright and easily pouring the exact same amount of tea into each. The brew was dark and the steam wafted around the tabletop before dissipating into the air only to be replaced immediately with more. He slid two cups toward Traveler and the other to Paimon once she stopped her floating around and settled once again as the third member of the current party. He offered the milk and sugar to the two of them as well. 
“I prefer my tea black, but please help yourselves.” Zhongli settled into his own seat easily. One arm resting on the arm of his perch and the other on the table top to curl his fingers around the cup he had prepared for himself. His legs crossed out of habit and it was then that the Traveler realized he had taken off his tailcoat. It was purely out of habit to take it off when he had arrived to the privacy of his own home, and he didn’t even realize it himself- not that it mattered. It was simply a different look than they were used to. 
Paimon began dropping sugar cubes into her cup a bit too clumsily as small droplets splashed on her hand from the objects breaching the liquid causing her to yelp. In turn, the two seated companions offered her chuckles of amusement as she blew on her hand. Of course, it was hardly an injury- it was more a fright than a burn. 
“It’s hot,” Zhongli chided. 
“Gee, you think!” She then started dropping in cube after cube much more delicately. Or, rather she would drop them from the same height as before but immediately fly away when she let go so the upcoming splash wouldn’t touch her again. The Traveler made their own additions to their tea as well, but much less messily. 
The three settle into a comfortable silence filled with small sips of tea and clicks of returning cup to wooden table top. That is, until Zhongli broke it by placing a small wooden box on the table in front of him to join in with the teatray and it’s accessories. 
It was an elegant box the size of his fist. Golden edges wrapped in angular designs and a locked latch in the front of it. On the top of the lid was the symbol of a Geo Vision. At first, the two travelers thought that maybe this box is what he stored his fake Vision in when it wasn’t on his person. Pulling a small key from under his long-collared shirt, he unlocked the box and opened the lid. From where the Traveler sat with the lid facing them, they still couldn’t get a peek inside. 
The last thing they expected Zhongli to pull out of the cushioned, plush lined box was a hair ornament. 
Modeled in the shape of a dragonfly, the piece was carefully handled by the ex-archon and placed so very delicately on the table. The wings of the dragon fly were filled with a crystal that shone green and teal, the colors shifting with the light and angle as which it was gazed upon. The piece itself was designed as a hairstick, acting as an elegant means to pen up locks of hair- the metal rod of the stick seemed well suited for such a job. Matching teal-green crystal beads hung from the bottom tips of each wing as decorative tails. 
It was a beautiful piece to gaze at. 
Zhongli kept his hand on the table right next to it, his fingertips just a breath away from touching it again. When Paimon got a bit too close while gazing at it, Traveler could see the slightest twitch run through his fingers. As if the ex-Archon was anxious about Paimon getting too close to it. Still, to not be rude he said nothing as she continued to narrowing gawk. 
“Paimon, back up a little,” Traveler said, sitting forward a bit to try and act like they were trying to get a better look while simultaneously trying to get Paimon to back off a bit. When Paimon floated back to her place by her teacup, Zhongli’s shoulders loosened like he was relieved at the distance between the reckless floating fairy and this clearly important item. 
“You were curious on what has been on my mind, yes? This is a one reason I’ve been rather… absent as of late.” 
“You’ve been spacing out over a hairstick?” Paimon asked astonishingly. Zhongli shook his head. 
“Not quite.” His fingers uncurled and genly brushed over one of the beaded tails, letting the crystals bump over his fingertips. His eyes softened, yet that cloak of grey melancholy came back to him. “It’s more about who this was going to belong to.” 
Traveler and Paimon both had questions, but remained silent. They both settled into their respective places ready to listen to the story he was surely about to unweave. They knew that the tea would grow cold and kettle drank empty by the time it was all finished. Though, the look in his eyes and the way his voice grew softer in a way that pulled at the heart made the eternity of sitting in one place much easier to bare. 
“This ornament was going to be a gift to someone I knew a very long time ago. I never had the chance to give it too her, however; so, I keep it here with me where it is safe. I cannot bare to throw it out, even after all this time.” 
It seemed crazy, how the two swore his eyes had grown misty just saying those few sentences. How this story is going to start all because of a crystal dragonfly from millenia past.
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There were many places that had been tainted and driven to ruin due to the war raging by the Archons. Gods were battling each other for power, others trying to flee from another’s unjustly wrath. Some even tried defending their people instead of taking place in battles or retreating. It was chaos and there were few corners of the old world of Teyvat that wasn’t splattered in a thick muck of bloodshed. 
Still, that didn’t mean everywhere had been tainted. No. This fact rang true as Morax had discovered one fateful day a small territory cleansed of blood and impurity. 
Hidden behind a barrier he had stumbled upon in the middle of a half dead forest, the invisible viel hid everything beyond it from sight. In fact, if he hadn’t happened to be near it, the Archon probably wouldn't have noticed it in the first place. The barrier itself easily gave and allowed him passage inside which led him to believe it was more of a mask than a shield. 
Walking through it led him to a forest of lush floral and trees that thrived surrounding a small section of land that housed no more than 500 people perhaps. A small village with huts scattered around plots of farmland and a rather luxurious palace atop it all. It was a farcry from the near-deathly state of the outside world and the whiplash of it made him momentarily wonder if he was somehow succumbing to some sort of hallucination. 
Morax walked through the dirt paths all the way until the thick wall that cut off the eastern styled palace from the rest of the people. Walls tall and made of a stone the God of Geo had to have created at somepoint. The craftsmanshift of it was marvelous he had to admit as there was not the slightest crack between the stacked stone. Easily vaulting himself onto the tall wall, he gazes beyond it’s perimeter. 
Inside of the sturdy walls, he could see six different buildings. Along the two side walls of stone stood two houses each. Two west and two east, separate yet built so similar he could easily mistake the four as clones of each other if not for his experienced eyes that had seen such fine details over his life. Connecting these four abodes from west to east were grey, stone paths. The same cobblestone led beyond the front gate he had forwent as he perched atop the wall and led straight forward to a single building that was larger than the rest. Morax assumed that was the main estate just from the grandeur of it compared to the lacking other four. 
Though, the final building is harder for the curious immortal to see. It was built directly behind the main estate, no doubt also connected with the same clean stone paths that weaved through the courtyards. All Morax could see of this building was it’s roof, the same tiled and burned color as the high status homes around it. 
Morax straightened his body from it’s crouched position and began to gracefully walk along the stone wall. Getting new angles of the buildings inside, he soon grew close enough to the main estate that he easily lept to it’s roof. Landing as if the air lessened his weight, he could now view that one single building he hadn’t yet more clearly. 
Immediately, the Archon recognized it as a temple that without a doubt housed priests and priestess alike. Some may be masters at their craft and others may be but small, inexperienced fledgings beyond those sacred walls. 
The idea of a temple like that in an uncharted and untainted territory flared his curiosity. So much so, he was hardly in control of his instincts as he once more lept gracefully from the estate’s rooftop onto the stone paths. His barefeet made a sound of collision when his heels touched the man-made path, and continued to make the same shuffling sounds as he walked straight into the temple. 
Morax did not run into a single person in the temple, though he could hear matras and practices from around different open training fields. Even the soft plunks of arrows being driven into targets for archery precision and the chiming of bells for cleansing. The open halls of the temple and the roof over his head that kept the sun’s heated glare from his figure felt comforting. 
Being in a place so filled with peace and sounds of anything but war was outlandish to the otherwise warrior-type god. Morax had contracts to fulfill and his own principals to protect while fending off other gods trying to level his unnamed throne. Taking out a few of his own violation never did any harm to strengthen his gag between himself and others.
The god had walked so freely that he soon found himself under the sun again. Instead of in the open halls of marble floors and burgundy columns, Morax was standing amidst a field of wild grass, flowers, trees, and bushes. It was like the lush forest outside the stone perimeter allowed a single bit of it’s ecosystem inside the temple just for the mortals to bask in. 
A small humming of wings quickly caught Morax’s attention amidst the sounds of the wind’s breeze and dancing leaves. His chin led his head in the direction before coming to see a small dragonfly hovering around him before landing on his shoulder. The view of the insect was neary cut off by the hood he always wore over his head, but the bug itself was peaceful just resting it’s wings on the god’s shoulder for respite. 
For a moment, the warrior of countless battles felt relief. For just that moment, the weight of such responsibility with his temperament lifted all because a small insect decided to rest on him. 
The dragonfly’s respite did not last. The little critter’s wings began to hum again and soon began to hover off and before Morax could stop his feet, he found himself following it. Bare feet stepping over well worn paths of flattened grass and dirt patches. Not long from where had previously stood, he stopped at seeing where the small insect had flown to in lieu of himself. 
The eyes of the archon landed on the first person Morax had seen since entering this temple- although uninvited, presence unknown and undetected. Reaching out a delicate hand with her index finger extended, the dragonfly landed easily on the appendage. 
A priestess knelt elegantly in the tall grass, previously inspecting herbs when she heard the familiar buzz of wings. The hakama pants that folded at her legs were neatly pleaded without a crease out of place and her kosode tucked perfectly into the trousers- not a wrinkle to critque. Her hair had been loosing tied back with a red hair ribbon that fluttered in the breeze that kept the tall grass swaying like waves of spring. 
The wind picked up when the dragonfly lifted off her fingers and off back towards Morax. It was like the little creature had led him straight to her and was now directing her vision back so they could meet each other’s gaze. 
It was all thanks to that one, small bug that Morax and first made eye contact with you.
“Oh,” your small voice of surprise- at seeing such an odd looking man in the overgrown, private gardens of the temple- carried on the same wind that the dragonfly danced in. You stood and dusted off your knees, knocking any sticking dirt off your bottoms before standing up properly. You inspected the man in front of you.
Arms dark as earth with cracks of glowing gold. Clad in a white cloak that split five ways down  and encompassed with a golden belt at his waist with a hood pulled over his head. The hair you could see whipping lightly in the wind behind his back was dark in color matching his arms. His trousers were wide open and baggy around his legs, only encasing snuggly around his ankles. His impressive stature gained your attention easily and you could tell he wasn’t exactly something mortal. It would be ridiculous to think just at the sight of his arms alone, not to mention the air around him seemed so… powerful. 
“My apologies, I wasn’t aware we were expecting a guest today,” the courteous smile you sent him made him wonder if you weren’t at least a little apprehensive of his unexpected presence. 
“You weren’t made aware because no one aside from yourself is aware of my being here.” 
“I see,” you muse. “I hope you are aware that qualifies you as a trespasser.” 
“Trespasser?” Morax gapped, losing his composure for a moment. His brows dipped in offense under his hood, his pride kicking into his throat through his words. “I am no such being.” 
“Ah, but aren’t you just? You said yourself, no one knows you’re here. Yet, you end up in the presence of this temple’s Miko. If that does not mean you’re trespassing, what does?” Morax’s eyes hidden under his hair and flick from your head to your feet and back up again. You were the head shrine maiden? You seemed so young and yet you held such an important position? It planted a pebble of doubt in him.
Then again, if he focused on you properly, he could barely see a small circular arua around your frame. It was like a barrier was placed around you, one protected you from the outside and anything that could taint you. Exactly like the barrier surrounding the territory he had more or less invaded. Honing your spiritual power like that so young, he would’ve perhaps tutted in impressiveness if you hadn’t challenged his very being moments ago. 
Still, Miko or not, he still outranked you. Crossing his arms over his chest, their golden geo pulsed with a soft light. 
“With such a rank you possess, are you still so unaware when a God stands before you? A pity.” 
“On the contrary,” you smile to him and his brow again twitches at your nonchalance. “I’m being quite respectful if you think on it. If you were simply a noble who lives among the palace homes, I would’ve quickly dealt with you since only a select few from outside are allowed entry into the temple. Much less this garden which is private and limited to my attendance only.” 
“Are you implying you could force me away at any moment should you please?” His voice grew tight in challenge. His sense of traquilty from before discovering you was dimming and the frigid air of his battle sense were returning even as the wind continued to caress you both. 
“I assure you I would do no such thing. I’m simply proving that even in the presence of a God, I will not yield since I do not even know which is in front of me. Not to mention, this land has no God to speak of or for. So, if you think about it that way, I am where one would hypothetically stand.” 
Oh. 
Morax felt something stir in his chest at the teasing tilt in your voice that spilled over your lips that curled into a smile. Your eyes were so clean and clear, it was like staring into crystals and he had the urge to create a new form of geo just to replicate them. The feeling was foreign to him, but it shocked him greatly when he realized it wasn’t an unwelcome stir. 
He finally dropped his crossed arms and began to decrease the distance between you both. Morax came to stand in front of you so he could get an even better look at your features. As such, you could now look easily under his hood as he stood above you. His eyes seemed to glow a lovely shade of amber that complemented his glowing, golden skin and dark hair. 
“Address me as, Morax,” he instructed. Your taunting smile turned soft and wide as your eyes closed in the most pleased expression he had seen in years. His amber eyes widened at the innocence and the small bells of laughter that left your throat towards him shook his unshakeable core. 
“That’s much better,” you said, now obviously pleased. “I’m, y/n. It’s an honor to meet you, Morax.” 
It was his name rolling off your tongue- spreading into the wind that had blown harshly for but a moment- that sent an earthquake that started at his chest and spread through his whole body. It was the sound of his own death sentence and he was once again shocked at how he easily accepted that he would definitely be back to this temple. Be back to this garden of overgrown grass and floral. 
Morax would definitely be back to you. 
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As promised, Morax had been back to that temple several times since the first time he met you. When the weight of the archon war was- ironically- too heavy, or if he needed a place to escape just for a moment he would seek you out. It was quiet ridiculous how you had somehow wormed your way into his very soul and wrapped him around your finger. 
The Lord of Geo had come to learn much about you in the time he spent by your side. Your favorite flowers and scents, when you had started your priestess training, when you had progressed to the skill level you possess now and how long you had been the acting miko of the temple. Your favorite type of weather, or time of day, or season. In turn, he had confessed things about himself as well. 
How he had been around for as long as the world- or so it sometimes felt that way. How he’s in the middle of a grand and merciless war with other gods presumably because of issues to do with celestia. How he had taken many lives of both mortals and gods alike all for the sake of his own land and people. The very feeling of battle is engraved in his bones like names on a tombstone, yet it didn’t seem to push you away. 
It was laughable. The very Being of war and battle was utterly infautated with you, a mortal being of purity and values. Of course, you were alway assure him that what he did was just his own values, especially his strictness with any contract he made. You neved judged him for his sins and the weight they carried, but you never outwardly agreed with him either. You told him what he needed to hear, not what he wanted and he cherished those words so dearly. If he had any less self-restraint, Morax could easily let himself take your very words as law itself.
Yet again, it was another day he had left his duties behind him as he found you kneeling in the fields of grass once again. Leaping from the outerwalls, to the rooftops of the estate, to the roof of the temple, he easily lands like a pebble hitting sand next to you. It was the rush of air beside you that alerted you of his attendance rather than any sound he made- or didn’t make. 
“Hello again, Morax,” you greet as you thumb through the herbs and check the petals of nearby wildflowers. Morax kneels at your side before sitting fully in the grass, one of his knees bent up to prop his arm on with the other stretched out in front of him. A rather relaxed position you had insisted he use instead of kneeling for however long he visits would last. 
“Good afternoon,” he replies. It’s silent for a while after that. The atmosphere of simply being with you was good enough for Morax. That was until the urge to speak and hear you speak in return hit his throat. “Your people seem more rowdy than usual.” He didn’t need super-enhanced senses to tell that the noise had increased since his last visit. 
“You can tell that even though you’ve never properly been inside?” 
“I have been inside.”
“No one knew that thought,” you tease with a finger that flicked back and forth a few times. “So, it isn’t a proper stroll in my temple.” Morax playfully chuckles at your antics. “You are correct though.” 
“Is there a reason?” He had noticed it since he arrived, but the air around you seemed heavy. “Something seems to be weighing on you.” 
“You’re perceptive. I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked about that considering-” 
“Y/n.” 
You sigh before the hand that had been thumbing at flower petals falls back into the tresses of wild grass and to the ground at your side. 
“The monks are gathering in a rush under Master Jiang’s orders.” Morax’s brow furrows at the information. You had mentioned this Master Jiang before. He was apparently a traveling monk that had previously been nomadic. Though, since the archon war had only gotten worse over the course of time, he had settled in the safety of your barrier and subsequently in your temple. 
On the rare occasions you let your irritations get the best of you, you spilled your guts to Morax about how he was constantly chanllenging your power and position in the temple. Thinking he was better because he was older with more experience beyond the protective walls of your home. Along with the misguided misogyny of being a man. It was one thing after another, spouting off about anything that irked you until you got all your curses off your lips in the privacy of the archon. 
Morax had not met this Jiang- not to mention anyone else outside of you inside the temple sense his visits weren’t exactly documented- but he already strongly disliked him. Now, he was trying to taking charge of your temple?
“For what purpose.” You do no respond to him right away and it sends a jolt through his nervous system. “Y/n. For what purpose,” he repeats with a heavier tone. You let out a sigh that feels as heavy as your aura as you sit in the field of wildgrass and flowers with the closest being to your heart. 
“He’s afraid that we’re going to soon be effected by the war as well.” You didn’t need to specify which war, he was more than well aware which you were referring to. 
Among the other things he had learned about you, he had come to understand why your people were save from the archon’s destruction so far. It was because of you and your power. 
Inside the temple was a specific place for you to practice your skills and keep the barrier around your precious home. That didn’t showcase all you could do, however and Morax knew it. Keeping the living things inside safe and keeping all the taint out. If something did happen to get inside your barrier, you were quickly dispatched to purify it. You could tell the moment something breached your safe haven, all the proof he needed as his first appearance to you. 
You had admitted ot him once that the reason you didn’t immediately cast him out was simply because you didn’t feel any hostility from his presence. He had no intention on hurting your people or home, so you allowed him access in. That barrier was an extension of your power; constant proof you were so much stronger than that stupid old monk was trying to plat down. 
Morax had only heard the sound of your birch tree bowstring plucked once before, and the air instantly felt cleaner. He’d heard bells in the distant halls while he waited for you in the treetops of your private garden to avoid the chance of being seen. While with you, he had picked up on a masking you placed over him so he couldn’t be detected by others and kept safe from prying eyes. Your power still astonished him even after all this time. 
“That’s asinine,” he growled. The whole ordeal of it all just set the message that they didn’t trust you and your abilities. After all you had done since you were a child to protect these people, after everything you’ve sacrificed, and they’re doubting you now? When your powers were in their prime? It was insulting. 
“Morax-”
“Do not try and save their value but udnermining your own.” 
“I’m not!” You cry in exasperation. You let out another sigh before letting your body lean into his shoulder and against his propped up leg. Morax froze up as your body softly collided with his own. While you had him attached to your very being, hook line and sinker, he had never once touched you. Not a single brush of his fingertips to your body or even allowing your legs to touch as you sat side by side. 
The side of his body you rested on felt like a volcano on his geo-ingraved skin. 
“Sorry,” you whisper. “Could I stay like this just for a moment longer?” 
His arm that you leaned against came to wrap around your shoulder and push your head further against him. The archon lowered his leg to join the other on the ground just so he could have you closer to him. His chin rested by your forehead and he closed his eyes letting you invade every one of his senses. Squeezing your form as he felt the trembles you tried to conceal and force to stay inside, not letting yourself break as much as he wanted you to. Morax wanted you to feel safe and open with him, but he understood all too well how difficult a task that was as someone of your strict upbringing. 
“Stay here as long as you need. I will not move.” Morax was geo, the land itself. He created mountains and stone and they all know his name. He was a god of contracts and his words were just as serious as those that he holds so strictly to them. The Lord of Geo would stay your unyielding pillar for as long as you needed him. That he promised to himself as he felt your small drops of tears silently fall onto his chest that he dare not mention. The urge to wipe them away and treasure you like a fragile bell ached within him, but he dare not act on those either.
For but a brief moment, Morax- the Geo Archon- wished for a single second he was mortal. That he was like you.  
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Morax had no idea how this happened. What had gone wrong? Was it him? Did his sudden intrusion into your life of purity ruin everything? As a god, did his divine hands finally touch something he was never meant to?
Weeks ago you had urgently awaited his normal time of arrival but as soon as he showed, you urgently told him to leave. To leave the temple, the palace, the barrier- all of it- and never come back. You had demanded he return to the world he knew, the one filled with smoke and war and ongoing conquests. His chest filled with thick, black tar as you screamed at him and he did what any sane being would do. Morax screamed back, unable to understand and he was losing his patience bit by bit.  
The Archon wanted answers, none of which he demanded for were satisfing. The monks had finally discovered that you had been meeting with an outsider from beyond the barrier; to make matters worse, they knew it was Morax who had been active in the outside war since it begun. They were focring you to make a decision and the best course of action was to push him away before things got too out of hand and would be to a point where you could do nothing. 
It made no sense to Morax. He could help, he was certain of it. He’d let you direct him, use him how you like and pull his actions like a puppet on willing strings. He’d follow your every order to the letter if you just wouldn’t force him out and shun him like you were desperately trying to do. 
You wouldn’t yield. 
Morax hated your stubbornness now more than ever. You finally forced him away with a bracellet you had made yourself that was nothing but clear-ringing, golden bells threaded with red string. The sound they made amplified your power and he knew at just the meresight of them you were trying to make him leave. 
With one flick of your wrist, he could feel invisible threads of nothing wrap around his limbs and begin to tug. Once more he tried to reason something- anything- out of you, but was met with nothing but a second ring of bells that yanked his whole being out of your barrier. Forced out and finding himself outside, he was furiously frustated. Summoning his polearm, he let out a cry before thrusting it into and then subsequently through the neearst tree effectively slicing it down.  
Your final words to him stay in his ears like a parasite- pounding against his eardrums so violently he was afraid they'd burst if they continued to torment him. 
“If you ever return, I will have no choice but to take further actions, Morax.” 
Morax had to stay away from you. It’s what you wanted; or maybe it wasn’t your wish- but it’s what you said. What you demanded he do. Still, he didn’t know when this happened. Morax didn’t know when he decided that the last thing he would ever do is stay away. 
Therefore, Morax still returned into your barrier and through your territory. Just as you had said, you were true to your words. 
The moment you felt his presence trespass inside your barrier, you evacuated the palace and with the same bells you sent him away with, you summoned him back. It was like he was teleported with magic, the same invisble strings that had yanked him out now drew him in. The ringing of your bells reverated in his ears before he was standing in that same overgrown field. 
Morax stood in the one spot he first saw you and you took presence in the spot he had found you kneeling. This time, there were no dragonflies humming in the air and something in him knew there never would be again. 
“I told you,” you choked. 
“I refuse to listen to a moral’s orders,” he bit back. It was a lie. He said he’d listen to your every word, and he meant it. Even when his desperate pleas to stay by you landed him nowhere by alone. 
Morax knew there was only one option left as he eyed the staff in your hand. Your grip was so tight around it your hand trembled with the sheer force of it. Your head shook with micro-swivels on your neck as you kept your eyes on the ground. 
“You should have.” Morax’s polearm materialized at his side in a moment before he took it’s familiar grip into his palm. He had only ever told you of his weapon, never wanting to show you in case it tainted you somehow. All that silly precaution seemed so pointless now. 
The gentle breeze he was accustomed to had become bone chilling as you lifted your chin to finally look at him. Morax almost caved seeing your angry tears, but as you moved to engage in battle, he let his body move on it’s own. The god who was so accustomed to battle just wanted to shut his brain off for this one. 
Morax didn’t want to do this. 
The battle between you both was a long one. You screamed at each other. Sometimes words, sometimes just sounds of angusih and pain. You knew Morax was holding back on you, you didn’t have the power to fully stop a god and you knew it. Morax knew it. Whether he was holding back because of his affections for you or because he was toying with you, you couldn’t figure it out. The power of your barrier did limit his abilities some, but it was hardly enough to be considered a handicap.
Still, somehow, you had knocked his polearms from his hand before you forced him onto his back into the grass. 
His cloack was torn and his arms of geo-glowing beauty seemed dim and dark like the shadow cast over his eyes. His hood had been knocked back while his hair was tosseled and battleworn. Your body and his were covered in cuts and burns and scrapes. Everything hurt from inside your body to the outside. 
You had him on his back as you climbed over him. Your legs pinned his arms down and your weight sat on his chest, the bottom of your staff pushing into his throat as your labored breaths shook throughout your whole body. All you had to do with lift your staff just a fraction and slam it back down and you could do some major purifying damage to his body. It probably wouldn’t kill him… but what if it did? Did you have it in your to purify a god? Maybe if you tried, it would take all your strength and you could die together. You almost scoff at yourself- 
-wouldn’t that be just poetic.
You could feel his own chest heaving under your weight and you knew he could easily throw you off him if he wanted to. Just like before though, he did nothing. He just lay in the grass beaten and battered as he glared beyond the staff’s pole into your face. You hated the look in his eyes.
“Will you not follow through?” He chastised with so much venom you wanted to vomit. The staff shook once with both of trembling hands holding it above his neck. You had to- it was your duty. You would be betraying your people if you let him live. For your people, for the cowardice monks who forced you here, for your ignorance for thinking you could keep Morax by your side without consequence. For everything you had trained for until now, you had to get rid of him. You had to!
Morax sucked in a breath as he readied his neck to be pulverized. Your staff came away from his throat… and soon your weight was being pushed off his body entirely. Raising to your shaking, exposed legs from your torn trousers, you took staggering steps backward from him. Morax’s glare morphed into shock as he raised to his elbows to watch you retreat. 
“What-” 
He watched  your chest heave with frustrated tears. Choked, uneven sobs tore at your throat as you screamed before throwing your staff far from your grip. You heard it clank against Morax’s discarded polearm and thought for a moment how ironic it was. Your weapon reuinited with his in your moment of weakness- your lowest point of failure. The moment you threw duty away and chose yourself for once. 
“I can’t,” you cry, falling to your knees into the singed and destroyed field that once flourished so wonderuflly. “Please, go,” you beg. Morax climbs to his feet, wincing at the wounds on his body before calling for his polearm again. Once it was again in his grip, he looked at the dried blood of yours that litered the blade. The Lord of Geo immedately dismissed it, watching it disapate into the air from whence he summoned it. He simply stood there, looking down at your crumbling frame. 
What were you doing? You were going against your practices and willingly letting a supposed threat escape. He took one step in your diection, still so woefully attached to you. Watching you tear at the seams and keep unraveling in front of his very eyes. He was at a loss; what could he do to even begin to ease your suffering when he himself was part of it?  
“No.” You could feel his eyes on you and his want to approach you burnt the top of your head at which he gazed. “Be gone.” You demand once again like the first day you chased him off. You didn’t hear him move and in a fit of nothing left, you tore off your bell bracellet and threw it in his direction. “Go back to where you belong!”  And in a mere moment, his presence vanished and you broke completely. The eyes of the monks watched as you sobbed in the gardens, the battle they made you wage concluding with no victor. 
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“Zhongli…” the story behind the hairpiece and his grief was heavier than either Paimon or Traveler was expecting. 
“I had planned to gift this to y/n during one of our meetings. I knew she wouldn’t be allowed to wear it of course,” he chuckled bitterly to himself. “For a great many of reasons. Still,” it would’ve proven to myself she was mine. Zhongli cleared his throat. “Regardless, I think I’ve spoken enough for once. The tea has run out and you both surely have other arrangements as the day is waning.” 
“Paimon doesn’t think-” 
“Then, we’ll be off,” Traveler interjects. Zhongli was just being polite but what he was really saying was that he wanted to be alone. “Thank you for telling us. Y/n sounded like a wonderful person.” 
“Tis but a story.” The way he replied made it sound like he was trying to convince himself more than them. The two left his home, leaving him still sitting at the table with an empty teacup and still holding that crystal winged dragonfly like it was Teyvat’s most precious treasure. 
It was quiet between Paimon and the Traveler as they walked aimlessly around Liyue. The Traveler’s mind boggled at the information they had been told and grew curious to any they hadn’t. They were almost certain that there was more to your story, but Zhongli couldn’t bare to say anymore. 
“Wait,” Traveler stopped in the middle of the path, bringing their hand to cup around their mouth in thought. “That all happened during the Archon War, right?” 
“Paimon thinks she remembers him mentioning that. Why?” 
“Do you think Xiao would know anything about it?” Traveler thought about it, but if memory served Morax was the one who granted Xiao his name. As Paimon looked at the blond with wonder, a voice spoke behind them. 
“You called?” 
Paimon’s screech echoed into the air as the Traveler spun around, not expecting the very apedtus to show up. Xiao sure took the calling of his name seriously. 
“Paimon never-” the floating companion looked to the blonde. “Oh, yeah. I guess we kinda did.” Xiao crosses his arms as he stands expectantly. The daytime hours were few in remaints and the streets began to slowly thin in populous, so he was less reserved about being around people, Though, he still didn’t want to linger either. Regardless of his wants, he noticed the air of tensity around you both. 
“Did something happen.” It wasn’t a question, it hardly was when Xiao was involved. 
“Do you know anything about a woman named y/n?” Xiao’s body when frigid as he dropped his arms and quickly stepped up to the both of you. Coming nearly toe to toe as the Traveler squeaked and took a half step back. 
“How do you know that name.” Once again, Xiao wasn’t asking. Traveler looked around and decided that standing in the middle of the road wasn’t the best place for this conversation. 
“Let’s go somewhere else.” 
The newly formed trio had migrated outside the city and out into the wilderness by a river.  Xiao and Traveler took to sitting among stones, Xiao crossing his legs and Traveler letting their’s dangle. Paimon’s ever floating presence never going too far from the two. They sat and listened to the sound of the bable of running water, trying to find a way to reopen the previously halted conversation. 
“Did Rex Lapis tell you about y/n?” Xiao ripped the bandage off first, something Traveler was almost thankful for. “That’s the only possible conclusion I can think of if you know her name since she wasn’t memorialized during her lifetime.” 
“Yeah, he did. I’m pretty sure he chased us out before he could tell us everything though.” Xiao nodded. Earnest understanding shone in his eyes but there was something else behind those irises of his, but the Traveler couldn’t figure out what it was. “Did you knew her too, Xiao?” He nodded again. 
“Not long after Morax found me and gave me my name, I found out that he was frequently paying visitation to a mortal woman. I thought he was being reckless, so he took me to meet her one day.” 
“He took you himself?” Paimon questioned. 
“Yes. He wanted to prove a point.” 
Xiao could still remember his first impression of you.  You had scolded Morax as soon as he landed in the familiar garden, arms crossed and mouth opening in reprimands. Calling him foolish for bringing a highly detectable entity beyond your barrier- one he didn’t even realize he had breached with his archon- and that if you hadn’t masked his spiritual signal just like how you did with his own, he’d be in a world of trouble. 
Seeing Morax take your scolding as he stood there bemused, Xiao’s first thought was that he did not like you. He distrusted you. What kind of mortal argues with a god on what they can and cannot do like you did? It was ludicrous. Still, the moment Morax introduced him as his newest comrade named Xiao, you smiled at him. You sent along with that smile a warm welcome and he suddenly felt awkward. 
“Xiao,” you called to his back before he was to leave with Morax at the need to return back outside your walls. He did not turn around to face you, but he did not move until you spoke again. “Feel free to come back and visit anytime. I’ll keep you covered.” 
“Rex Lapis- Morax- was the one who saved me and gave me the name Xiao. I respect him and owe him a great deal- a debt I may not truly be able to ever repay in full. In mortal terms, some may say he’s like a father to me.” Xiao’s chin lifted up to the darkening sky. The day had felt so long, the Traveler hadn’t realized just how late it was beginning to get. “If Morax was a father, then y/n was my mother."
The yaksha can still remember the first time he had sought you out for himself without Morax with him he was recoiling from karmic debt. It didn’t take a genius to know that he felt lighter in your presence- your purifying light helping ease his burdensn whether you did so purposely or not. 
It was late into the night when you had awoken abruptly from your sleep to the sensation of Xiao passing through the barrier. You sprung up from your futon, quickly focusing on his approach and cloaking him the best you could. His energy was rough, dark and pulsing and it worried you. You quickly made your way out to the garden where you knew he’d be and unshockingly enough was when you arrived. 
Curled into himself on his knees, his arms wrapped around his torso as black smoke engulfed him like vines. Gasping and sweating, he weakly stay collapsed in the grass as you ran to his side. 
“Xiao!” You whispered in anxiety as you knelt next to him, your eyes teary in fright. “What’s happening to you?” He didn’t answer, just shook his head with heavy, labored breaths. The moment, your hand came to rest on his back, his eyes rolled back with a fraction of his burden easing off his shoulders. Xiao slumped into you, his shoulder and neck pushing into your legs as his head rested partially on your stomach. His sudden collison knocked you back into the grass, your previously kneeling form now firmly planted on the ground. 
“Please,” he gasped as your other hand had come to his shoulder that wasn’t pushing into your lap. “Please, could you… sing.” In truth, he wasn’t sure why he asked that of you. He didn’t know what possessed him to request something so odd, but regardless of the oddity, you did. Your mouth had opened and you slowly and softly began to sing him a lullaby he had never heard before that night. 
It was like a blanket of early morning mist started to coat his burning, heavy body. His aching came to a slow stop as his mind became clearer. You sang the lullaby over and over again until the effects of his karmic debt had disappeared into the evening air. Even when he went completely lax on your lap and your hands had moved to run through his hair and across his back, you kept singing until early that next morning Morax had come to retrieve his missing Adeptus. 
As Xiao in the present looked at the stars, tracing constellations, he once again was reminded of your lullaby. You sang that to him many times after that and he remembered every single instance. It wasn’t far-fetched to say that the reason Barbarto’s song’s calmed him so is because he’s reminded of you in those moments and tunes. 
Yes, Xiao came to revere you just as much as his Archon- even though you were just a mere mortal. 
“So,” Traveler spoke up softly, trying to gently pull him from his obvious reminiscing. “What happened to y/n? Zhongli mentioned that he had fought her, but what happened then? Did they ever see each other again?” 
“No,” Xiao’s face contorted into a grimmance as his fist’s balled in his lap. “Y/n was executed before Morax could ever see her again.” His fists were so tightly balled they shook, clearly he still resented the fate you had been subjected to. 
“Executed?!” Paimon exclaimed. “But- but why?!” 
“Because she let Morax live.” The yaksha’s eyes narrowed as he gnashed his teeth. “Those filthy monks that poisoned her temple confined her to a dungeon cell where they starved and deprived her of anything. Letting her suffer for days before placinig a curse and executing her all because she refused kill an Archon.” 
“Did those people really not like Archons that much?” Paimon asked. 
“They were monsters!” He exclaimed. “Y/n had been raised to choose the people over her own desires, but the moment she wanted something for herself they-” 
“Xiao,” Traveler interrupted, reaching out their hand to place it on his folded knee. 
“She didn’t deserve the fate they gave her.” Traveler only nodded at his solemn tone. “When her execution was carried out, Morax… he reacted to an extreme.” 
“An extreme?” Paimon inquires. Xiao nodded, lifting his head back up from where it had been tucked towards his chest in anger. 
“The moment y/n’s barrier disappeared Morax stormed inside. He destroyed everything he could get his hands on. I… I was with him.” Xiao was enraged at the news of your demise, but he knew as he watched the back of his Archon as took the lives of the lowly monks who dared try to outrank you that the grief and emotions Morax felt course through him far outweighed his own. 
By day's end, the entire palace, surrounding village, and temple were all up in flames or crushed into rubble. Standing among the burning wreckage that stunk of ash, blood and death Morax plunged his polearm into the earth and screamed with no one left to witness him aside from Xiao. Instead of trying to approach his archon, he instead kept his eyes on the remains of buildings going up in flames like a personal pyre in remembrance of you. 
“After that, Morax stopped talking about her to anyone. It was like he pushed her into the recesses of his mind and tried to erase her altogether. With the meeting of other Archons and the assembly of Liyue, it seemed like he was trying to move forward.” 
“Poor Zhongli,” Paimon whined. “Star crossed lovers sure are sad to think about.” 
“To this day, there’s no one y/n has cared for as deeply as Morax.” At Xiao’s confession, Traveler’s ears perked. Did they hear that right? 
“Hold on,” they started, “what do you mean ‘to this day’?” Xiao’s body stiffened. He cleared his throat before he looked away, hoping that silence would push past his slip up. “Xiao!” 
“It meant nothing.” 
“Liar.” 
“I am not.” 
“Paimon thinks so too!” 
“Your input does not encourage much.” 
“Hey!” 
“Xiao,” Traveler tries again, arms crossing over their chest as they straighten their sitting posture on the stone they still sat on. Xiao cursed himself at deflating so easily in the face of the blond’s pressure. 
The Adeptus took after his Archon in that sense it would seem. 
“If you can keep it a secret,” he hesitated, “then I have somewhere to take you.” Xiao’s face turned back and looked the Traveler into the eyes.  They could see just house uneasy his gaze was, yet still under it was a stern ‘this is important’ before everything else. They nodded deeply towards him and force another sigh from his lips. The two of them jump from their stone seats as Xiao points in a direction. “Then follow me.” 
“Paimon can keep a secret too!” 
“Somehow, I doubt that.” Still, Xiao let her follow him too. The more the merrier you’d say- or at least he hopes. 
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“I had no idea there was a place like this in Liyue!” Paimon exclaims after Xiao had taken both her and the Traveler along a path through the forests and into a clearing. After approaching what appeared to be nothing, his figured seemed to pass through something. The two who accompanied him both gawked at his sudden disappearance into thin air before he was reappearing from nowhere. ‘Hurry up,’ he had told them as they cautiously followed his once again disappearing back. 
Beyond the boundary of nothingness was a fairly large home that was longer than the clearing thy where previously in. The path forward was lined with trees and during the daytime they provided comfortable shade for any who walked under them. Now though, they just casted nighttime shadows of moonlight. The air felt different from the forest’s air as well. As if it had been filtered through something and made even cleaner than normal. 
Xiao walked with confidence through the path of trees and up the steps of the elongated home like he had done it a million times before. He didn’t even stop to check and make sure that both Traveler and Paimon were still behind him and hadn’t instead wandered off. The lanterns that lit the halls cast moving shadows along the walls and they danced off Xiao’s back as they continued to trail after his heels. 
Soon, he came to a stop outside a set of doors before looking at Traveler briefly then back again. He knocked twice around the hardened sides of the doorframe and didn’t wait for any signs of noise before taking further action. Sliding them open, he stepped inside and the Traveler and Paimon naturally followed.  
It was a large room, a small floor desk tucked away on one side littered with papers, books and ink. Another set of doors opposite from the ones he had just walked through led out to an open terrace that further pushed out into a stone garden. On the opposite side of the room was an unfurled, messy futon that lacked a body to rest inside it. 
Xiao sighed at seeing the empty futon and made his way out the doors to the wooden terrace. Apparently he had found who he was looking for since he began to speak and it wasn’t to the Traveler. 
“Why are you not resting?” 
“How could I when I have visitors?” A voice answered him and it made the skin on the Traveler’s face flush. It sounded clear like bells and was as soft as a gentle stream. Holding such composure- it reminded them of Zhongli’s voice and how aged it was. Xiao backed up into the room again as someone had came inside. 
The dark hour left the woman mostly unseen, but Xiao was quick to start lighting a lantern for light. 
“Thank you, Xiao,” she commented as the wick began to burn with a flickering flame. Traveler’s face remained flush at the woman in front of them. She didn’t just sound wise, she looked it. Like she had seen many years and experienced many things- but still looked so young. Xiao moved to her side and Traveler didn’t need to ask if the woman in front of them was who they thought she was. “Are you friends of Xiao’s?” 
“Yes,” Traveler whispered before they cleared their throat and answered again. “Yes, we are.”
“I see.” Xiao cleared his own throat, turning his head away at the gaze the woman sent him. Luckily the lantern didn’t light the room the greatest so his tinted cheeks stayed between the duo and didn’t reach the Traveler’s eyes. Looking back, she smiled warmly and it seemed exactly like how Zhongli explained. “It’s lovely to meet you both. My name is y/n.” 
“WHAT?!” Paimon exclaimed before slapping her hands over her mouth. Both at the discourtesy and the late hour she had yelled into. 
“I assume you have a great deal of questions,” you tell them, “but, for now I think we should table all that for tomorrow. You’re both more than welcome to stay here for the night. Xiao can lead the way for you.” 
With that, somehow the two travel companions ended up in a guest room with two futons and Xiao telling them to get some rest before leaving and presumably going back to your side. 
You had once again left your room to sit on the terrace and Xiao joined you. Sitting beside you, his head coming up to your shoulder in height as you both looked and focused on nothing. 
“Are you upset with me?” He asked. 
“Not particularly, no. Shocked, maybe. I wasn’t expecting someone else to follow in behind you from the forest.” 
“I apologize.” 
“There’s no need.” You slowly bring your hand up to rest on the back of Xiao’s head, a comfort to both him and you. Just like how Xiao described you as a mother, you didn’t ever think of him as anything less than what you assumed a son would be like. “It’s actually helped me with something that’s been on my mind lately.” 
Xiao just grabbed onto the sleeve of the robe you wore, not saying anything but conveying enough for you to understand. 
“I’ll explain it tomorrow. For now, how about a lullaby?” Even from the guest room and with Paimon already asleep, the Traveler could hear a faint song in the air before drifting to sleep. 
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“Sooo, how old are you?” 
“Paimon!” Traveler yelled. “That’s rude!” 
“I was just asking a question!” 
“Ask a different one!”
The small squabble that earned a sigh from Xiao the next morning led you into a small laughing fit. The group of you were gathered in a drawing room used for when Xiao would visit you during your days. You’d spend time listening to things Xiao would encounter outside, and while it was a good way to pass the time you would otherwise spend alone, it felt better with more lively guests like this. 
“Xiao’s older than I am, so please rest assured I’m younger than you think.” 
“Xiao’s older?!” 
“Ahem,” the Yaksha interrupts by clearing his throat, “age matters aside, don’t you think now would be a good time for an explanation. If we’re gone from Liyue too long, Zhon- er- Rex Lapis could get suspicious.” 
“Why’d you correct yourself like that Xiao?” Paimon asks before you answer for him. 
“He feels like Morax’s mortal name makes me uncomfortable. I’ve told him time and time again that it doesn’t bother me, but he insists on using his other titles. Feel free to keep referring to him as you’re used to, I won’t get confused.” 
“How considerate of him,” Paimon dryly says, pulling another chuckle from you. 
“In any case, Xiao is right. I assume he told you about me, seeing as he brought you here himself.” 
“Sort of,” Traveler starts. “Zhongli is actually the one who told us about you. Xiao just told us more.” A shocked look passes over your features when you hear that the former Archon had opened up about you at all. “He said that someone from his past died around this time and we were worried about him. We kind of… pressured him into telling us.” 
“I don’t think that’s true,” Xiao said as he crossed his arms. “If Rex Lapis truly didn’t wish to speak about it, he wouldn't have. Believe me. He’s too stubborn.” 
“Be nice,” you lightly chide him. “Still, it’s a shock. I thought he would’ve buried his memories of me long ago.” 
“I’ve told you,” Xiao spoke up again, “Rex Lapis- he still-” 
“Xiao.” Your voice was stern for a moment before he clammed up. 
“Sorry,” he spoke defeatedly. Instead of staying quiet and letting the awkward air cloud up the room, he started up the discussion of why he had brought outsiders here in the first place. “Traveler, do you remember when I told you that Lady y/n had been executed?” Traveler nodded and was shocked at his use of a title. He didn’t use one at all when he was talking about you yesterday? Did he always address you personally like that? “Do you also recall how I mentioned how before she was killed, she was cursed.” 
“Oh yeah,” Paimon acknowledges. “Paimon remembers you saying something like that.” 
“It’s because of that curse that she’s still alive.” 
“They cursed her not to die? Doesn’t that seem kinda dumb since they apparently executed her for not defeating Zhongli?” Paimon’s face scrunched before her entire being deflated. “Paimon doesn’t get it.” 
“That isn’t quite correct. I can die,” you inform them. Xiao’s fist twitched as his gently grasped the fabric of his pants in his palms. “In fact, I have died several times. The curse i bare is that I cannot stay dead.” 
“Isn’t that still contradictory to what the monk’s were trying to accomplish?” Traveler asks. 
“Not necessarily. Back in my original life, I had broken a vow I had been raised on: placing my people above myself and never being selfish. That one sacred vow being broken was enough for Jiang to label me a treasonous traitor. This eternal life of mine is punishment for that crime.” 
“That’s so dumb!” Paimon exclaims. You continue to explain after she’s finished huffing. Her puffy face was quite amusing to look at as she crossed her small arms like she was offended on your behalf. 
“My curse resets my life to the point in time I was killed. Therefore, any injuries or illnesses I received in previous lives have all but vanished. I can still starve and freeze to death. I can become ill and contract diseases just like a normal mortal. I’ll die if I'm stabbed and I’ll scar if I’m burned. Still, even after all that, I’ll simply wake up again like none of it happened. This prolonged suffering is what Jiang and his acolytes were after.” 
“That’s terrible,” Traveler whispers. “Have you died many times?” 
“I’ve lost count.” You raise your hand to look at your palm that has been the same as the first time you woke up from death. In the ruins of your destroyed temple you were foggy minded and confused before your entire being filled with dread. “I’ve lived so many lives I cannot remember them all, but I know I’ve touched on every type. I’ve gone mad, harming people around me and myself. I’ve given in to every sin in hopes that they would allow me to die and not come back. I’ve even tried ending the cycle myself, but all to no avail.” 
You took a deep breath before dropping your hand back to your lap. 
“As stained as I am now, I’m hardly the priestess I used to be. I can never be that pure original version of me, but I’ve long accepted that. I’m quite… content with my life right now.” 
“Content my foot,” Xiao huffed. “You were planning to stay alone for a lot longer if I hadn’t found you.” 
“Wait,” Paimon piques, “found you?” 
“It was purely by chance,” you explain. “Sometimes, I’ll venture into Liyue but under a cloaked disguise so I’m not recognized or detected. Some years ago, I accidentally ran into Xiao near Wangshuu Inn and spoke his name purely out of reflex. He heard me and well, it was safe to say he wasn’t exactly pleased as he tracked me down.” 
“I was frustrated,” he corrected. “I came to find out you were alive and hiding for eons after thinking you were long dead.” 
“I know.” 
“Imagine how Morax would feel if he knew!” 
“I know, Xiao,” you repeat. “That’s something I actually want to talk to you about.” Xiao stills in his rampage before his arms slowly uncurl and his posture takes on something uncomfortable. “You’ve kept my life a secret for some time now, omnienting the truth from the Archon you respect so much. I’m sorry for asking such a selfish request.” You turn to look at the slack faced boy before bringing your hand to cup his chin affectionately. Traveler felt like they were impeding on a parental moment as they tried to look anywhere but you both. “If you want to, you can tell him the truth now.” 
Xiao’s hand comes to quickly clasp around your wirst that started to fall away from his face. His mouth opens before it closes again. He was torn between what he’s been wanting to do for so long and the open permission to actually do it. 
“Are you… for certain?” 
“Yes,” you swallow a lump in your throat. “I’m certain.” Xiao quickly takes your wrist out of his grip before he’s rushing to stand up. He stands with such a force he teeters on his feet before going to the door. He didn’t want to wait a single moment longer. “Xiao!” He stops momentarily and he’s reminded just for a brief moment how you spoke his name like that to his back the first day he ever met you milinia ago. This time though, he spun to look you in the eyes. “Take this with you,” you had gotten up from your place and placed your hand out of a nearby window. Bringing it back in not longer after, an insect of glimmering colors hummed through the space and landed on his shoulder. 
“A dragonfly!” Paimon exclaims as Traveler also rose to their feet ready to follow Xiao out. Xiao just nods before dashing out of the door. Being inside your barrier always made it hard for him to teleport between locations, so he had to get outside first. “Traveler, lets catch up with Xiao!” Paimon says, pointing after him. 
“Yeah,” they agree before looking back to you as you stay by at the window. 
“Get going now,” you urge before Traveler was awkwardly bowing to you and running out, calling Xiao’s name to try and get him to ‘slow down and wait up!’ 
Once alone again, you felt a coil settle in your chest. It was the same tightness you felt when Xiao had found you. Found out you were alive as you confessed everything to his insistent pleading after following you into your barrier. You braced your hands on the window pane before swallowing a lump in your throat. 
You never got the proper chance to tell Morax how you felt about him in your original life. It was wrong for a mortal like you to fall in love with a god- much less in the middle of a world altering war. You would’ve been far more foolish to confess your feelings than you were when you let him go. 
The tight coil only grows barbed spikes as you remember the last time you ever saw him. Laying beneath you as you pinned him down. Standing before you as you demanded him away. Feeling the empty air as he vanished right before you eyes. 
Xiao had told you that he was the one responsible for destroying your home. Burning it all down and destroying everything in his sight all because you had died. He was so filled with anguish and you didn’t know if you fully believed it. Xiao insisted that Morax hasn’t cared for a single soul as much as he cared for you. Even know as he lived as Zhongli you still hadn’t been replaced. You didn’t know if you believed that either. 
“I won’t regret this… will I?” You ask no one as you feel yourself start to pathetically cry. “Weak,” you call yourself as you stand alone in the empty home you constructed for yourself long ago. 
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“Did you find him yet?” Traveler asks Xiao as they met back up in the middle of Liyue. Zhongli wasn’t at the funeral parlor and Hu Tao didn’t know where he had meandered off to before they came looking for him. He wasn’t at his home nor was he listening to that storyteller at Three-Round Knockout like usual. “Last place is the harbor. He was at the bridge when we found him, so let’s go look.” 
They made haste to the bridge, but with crestfallen faces it was devoid of any kind of descended Archon. They were about to recollect their thoughts and try and figure out if there was any other place he frequented they could try when someone spoke up behind them. 
“You all seem troubled,” the familiar voice of Zhongli startled all three of them as they all whipped around to look at him. He looked as composed as usual, maybe even a bit better than yesterday. Maybe airing some of his grievances helped him out a bit after all. Still, who knows how the news Xiao had for him would effect his mental well being. 
“Rex- ahem- Zhongli, I need to speak with you.” In the heat of the moment, Xiao almost addressed him as Rex Lapis. Calling him that in the middle of the busy day would be a mistake, so it was good he caught himself. Zhongli looked at Xiao’s steadfast gaze and let it travel over to the blond and their companion who’s always had an issue keeping quiet. 
“You all look stiff, like something has happened.” 
“That’s Zhongli for you,” Paimon remarks. “Always perceptive.” 
“So, it’s as I surmised.” 
“I’ll explain everything, but it can’t be here.” Xiao stepped in. 
“I understand,” Zhongli sighs. “Come with me. We can talk outside the city away from any possible prying ears. I would prefer to not be cooped up indoors.” 
Just like the day before, Zhongli took the group out to the same river Xiao did; it was far from the people and now he stood cross-armed and ready for any sort of explanation. Traveler stayed quiet, knowing it was Xiao’s wish to say something first and made sure Paimon stayed quiet too. If anything, they were there to make sure nothing got out of hand- this was truly between them. 
“On behalf of someone else’s word, I’ve been keeping something from you. It’s about… It’s about, y/n.” 
“Xiao,” Zhongli bit and Xiao felt the words get stuck in his throat the moment your name left his mouth. Zhongli’s tone was already on edge. Just the mention of your name was enough to make the Archon nearly growl. The former divine being had been feeling the blanket of grief hold him down more this year than previous ones, the fact that he opened up about you just the day prior to the Traveler made old wounds throb. The last thing he wanted was to talk about you and make everything hurt all over again for another time. 
“I understand you don’t want to talk about her, but please hear me out.” 
“I will not entertain whatever thoughts you think you need to say. Y/n died a long time ago, you should leave her in the past.” His words were ironic since he himself couldn’t even do that. 
“You don’t understand.” 
“Xiao.” 
“Please, she-” 
“Enough!” 
“She’s still alive!” Xiao, fed up with his god not letting him get a word in, blurted it out. He inwardly recoiled, not wanting to just say it like that. He wanted to ease into it, try and slowly explain it so Zhongli would accept it easier. “Y/n, she’s… she’s alive.” 
There was silence so heavy it kept Xiao’s head down with an invisible force. His eyes stayed locked onto the boots of the one person who he respected the most. If he had never felt fear before this very moment, now would be the perfect introduction to it as he felt the burning gaze of Zhongli on his skull. 
“Is that an attempt at a ill-advised jest,” Zhongli’s voice put on a dangerous tone. It was understandable and justified however. Who would just believe that the one mortal an Archon fell in love with thousands of years ago was alive? It sounded ludacris and Zhongli did not enjoy feeling like a fool. 
“He’s telling the truth!” Paimon defended. Her mental restraint on not talking snapped at seeing Xiao look so meak under Zhongli’s overwhelming stature. Zhongli’s gaze shifted from Xiao to Paimon who squealed at the intensity before flying to hide behind the Traveler’s shoulder. His gaze was hard, stern, and angry. 
“What could you possibly know? You only just learned about who she was through me- without my telling you so, y/n would be only a memory shared between Xiao and myself alone.” 
“We know because we met her,” Traveler tell him. His fists clench and his jaw locks. 
Zhongli couldn't stand lies or liars, and yet he wanted everything the group in front of him said to be bold face lies. Zhongli trusted the Traveler and Xiao the most out of almost anyone he knew presently. He trusted them with his secret and they always tried their best in their own duties and goal to find their sibling. He respected them and trusted them with his life as both Zhongli and Rex Lapis. 
But did he trust them with your life? 
With the promise of you being alive coming from Xiao and backed up by the Traveler, the former Archon was notably torn. He didn’t want to get his hopes up and have this all be some sort of illusion. A trick of the mind that will leave him crumbling just like the day he first lost you. He didn’t thinking he could take that kind of anguish again. 
The Traveler stepped up and took Xiao’s hand in one of theirs and the other took hold of Zhongli’s. Paimon floated out from behind them as the blond made both of the immortal being bring their gazes up to them. 
“Xiao can take you to her just like he did with us. Y/n is waiting.” The curled fist of Zhongli’s lessened enough to wrap around the Traveler’s comforting touch. He looked back at Xiao who had been looking at the blond with such gratefulness for salvaging the situation before calling his attention back. His amber gaze had loosened up, but they weren’t the normal eyes of Zhongli. Morax was peeking around the irises of the tallest among the group. 
“This is no lie?” 
“I would never lie to you.” 
“Yes,” he breathed out, “I know.” He took a breath, feeling so embarrassingly out of character. It was then that he noticed the small insect that had been on Xiao this whole time. The trio had seemed to forget you sent them back with the dragonfly, but Zhongli knew. He sucked in a breath as he looked at it. “Take me to see her at once,” he commanded. Xiao wasted no time in teleporting all three of his companions to the edge of your barrier he had memorized the location of. 
Zhongli’s hand was dropped by the Outworlder as he walked to the edge of it. He could sense the familiar power from years past and reached his hand up to place his palm on it. It bent with his palm like a bubble before it pushed through, rippling the distorted view of cloaked foliage behind it. He hesitated, but a slight push at his back had him walking in- well, stumbling in. 
His face mirrored the Traveler’s when they had first seen the area behind the barrier. He could feel you everywhere and his body started moving before he could stop. Xiao and Traveler called after him as he took off into a sprint towards the house under the tree’s shadows. It felt like a ribbon had tied itself around his wrist and was yanking him forward. The dragonfly that had sat perched and patient on Xiao had taken off with Zhongli, acting as a guide as it flew in front of him. 
“Take me to her,” he pleaded with the buzzing bug. “Like last time,” he remembered how a similar bug had led him to you that first time. He felt so vulnerable as he ran into the house, barging through the doors and dashing through halls with abandon. Zhongli felt mortal with his emotions controlling his actions and his desperation oozing out of his very core. He should be in better control of himself, but he can’t control his body no matter how much he tries. “Take me to her!” 
The dragonfly had flown to a corridor that led into a vast open space. Stairs of three steps led out into an open garden with bushes, flowers, and carefully created paths to walk. It was a far cry from the overgrown, wild garden of the past. A stone canopy held up with four strong pillars covered the peaceful place from the sun and a small stone table sat among the paths intersection. 
His breath was labored, chest heaving as the dragonfly continued out into the garden and his pace slowed down until the insect had taken a turn just outside the cover of the canopy. The dragonfly stopped, perching itself on an outstretched finger and Zhongli almost collapsed. 
“Thank you,” you said to the dragonfly before it lifted off your finger and took off in a random direction, its job fulfilled. The sun bathed you in a golden light Zhongli could remember from eon’s ago and as he stared at you, a tear fell heavily and unstrained from his eye. 
You weren’t sure what to say as you looked at him, but when you saw that tear fall you were ready to immediately apologzie. You never got the chance. Instead you were frozen in surprise when he had somehow appeared directly in front of you and encased you to himself. 
Sealing his body to yours, his arm wrapped around your lower back and one of his hands pushed your head against his neck. His back curled inwards, bending you backward enough so that your back arched and he could form you to him even further. You were so warm and he felt himself choke as his nose took in your scent from atop your head. It was different from before, but he could still smell you in it- altered or not. It proved that you weren’t some fake, you were real.
Zhongli nuzzled into the top of your head, greedily taking in everything of you he could. You had placed your hands on his sides before sliding them up to his back. One of your hands snagged into the fabric of his coat and the other stayed wound around his back. He could feel you start to shake and he felt a bit better than he wasn’t the only one overly-emotional. 
“You’re alive,” he whispers into your hair, voice cracking enough the wind could easily pick it up and take it somewhere far away. You just nodded into his chest as he somehow gripped you to him tighter, closer. “You’re alive,” he repeats like he’s trying to convince himself this isn’t a dream. 
“Yes,” you sob. “Yes.” 
As the two of you stood under the sun in a garden different from the one in his memories, he took no notice of the three other figures who had finally caught up to him after taking off on his own. Xiao felt a weight lift off his chest at seeing you two finally reunited and Traveler gently took his head in comfort. He had no chance to get embarrassed at the action, instead he just squeezed it back as he watched his long-seperated family cling to each other. 
Xiao felt whole again for this one moment and he knew that you both did too. 
“I’ve missed you so,” Zhongli confesses into your locks and you almost laugh if it wasn’t choked up on your dying sobs turned to sad sniffles. “Oh, how I’ve missed you.” 
“I’m sorry,” you sniff as you let your arms slowly start to retract from him. He knew that things needed to be discussed and explanations needed to start somewhere, but he was reluctant to let go. His arms released you, but his palms were quick to gently cup your cheeks instead to tilt your face up to him. Your eyes were swollen and the whites of them irritated due to your tears. He looked no better.
Zhongli ran his gloved thumbs over your cheeks and across your eyes when you closed them when he got too close with his touch. He planted his feet between yours before pushing his forehead on yours and choosing to bask in your sun bathed body before anything close to closure ensues. 
“Um,” you break the silence, but like last time, nothing else gets out before your interrupted. 
“Call me by my name.” 
“What?” 
“My name,” he repeats. “Please.” He didn’t want to hear his mortal name or any of his other countless name and titles he’s collected over the years.  No. His ears yearned for the name you knew him by. After all this time, he just wanted you to call him-
“Morax.” 
Zhongli collapsed at last. His hands that cupped your cheeks dropped as did he. He came to his knees in front of you, his empty hands easily latching onto yours in lieu of your cheeks. His head hung as he sat- kneeled- at your feet. You shuffled in astonishment and shock as he took your hands and pushed them against his forehead pleadingly. 
“Again.” 
“Morax,” you whispered and he could hear the embarrassment in your tone. He chuckled as a shiver ran through his entire being. 
“Once more.” 
“You’re being spoiled.” 
“I think I’m more than qualified.” He hears you chuckle and he could perish right here in this very instant without regret at the sound. It was just as he remembered.
“Morax.” 
“This time,” he starts speaking as he feels you slowly start to join him on the ground. Your hands had twisted in his grasp to hold them back. “This time,” he starts again, “you’ll stay with me, won’t you?” 
You pull both of your encased hands to your lips, kissing his gloves and he wishes he took them off. His wish must’ve been yours as well since you slowly started to remove his gloves and revealed the dark, golden imbedded skin he kept hidden to the public eye. Your eyes remained closed as you worked, like you had dreamed of doing this so many times you didn’t need your sight. Once again, you placed your lips on his knuckles and it was like his skin was alight with lava. 
Reopening your eyes, you adjusted your hands so that your fingers were now interlaced, fingertips resting on top of each other’s hands as your palms were on the warm ground to lean closer to him. You push your forehead back against his, breathing in his air that became tangled with your own. Smiling so softly at him that he released one of your intertwined hands to push his fingers into your hair behind your ear and pull you even closer to him. He wondered if he could meld your very existence into his own and become the earth itself among the garden.  
“I’ll stay until you don’t want me,” you declare.  
“I’ll never not want you, my dear. We have too much time to make up for and many stories to share, should time continue to allow it.”
“Time is nothing but a concept to me now,” you chuckle bitterly. You would tell him about it all later, but now wasn’t the time. It would dampen the mood too bitterly for your tastes.  
A contract was made under the sun behind a barrier that had kept you concealed and hidden from his faze. Your intertwined hands were the signatures finalizing that contract. Zhongli wasn’t ever going to let you slip through his fingers again- he promised himself that as he held tighter onto your warmth and you to his. 
Zhongli couldn’t wait to finally give you the hairstick he had held onto for a millenia in your memory. Even more, he couldn’t wait to see it glimmer under your locks of hair since there was nothing and no one holding you back anymore.  
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a/n: pls god like/reblog/tell me your thoughts. this is babies first genshin fic and it's got so many words im so anxious i could throw up. i only edited this like one and a half times bc words became mushy and my eyeballs started melting. pls excuse the shift between past and present tense, my eyeballs - as aforementioned- are melting
if @scara7102 sees this it wouldn't let me tag you uh oh
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verstarppen · 1 month
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A THANK YOU LETTER
an apology and update! for all you beautiful people - 2 for the price of 1
hello! over the months i've written and deleted this letter because i was too much of a coward to show my face after i left. i contemplated if it would be adequate enough, if it even matters. At the end, i owe this fandom too much, so here it is:
THE APOLOGY
i am truly sorry. there's no better way of putting it.
the more i create the more i realise how this fandom held my hand and i simply wouldn't be the person i am now if this blog never existed. i've always struggled with sharing art and writing online, as i thought it was too lame and took the coward route of keeping it to myself and my closest friends.
ever since this blog, i've found that less of an issue. the more i think about how much i let you and myself down by disappearing the more i feel the shame weigh me down. i never wanted to leave, but life has this funny way of forcing your hand when you least expect it.
without getting too personal, this year hasn't been great for me or anyone close to me - friendships died, family members were hospitalised, university crushed me, expectations from everyone around me made me question if i'm failing in every aspect of my life, i lost passions like art - something i've always thought of as my dream career, and i fear the stress will only grow rather than die down.
in some of those harder moments i would always turn to a distraction, create something for a fandom i enjoy to get my mind off things. to see your comments and your messages always kept me going even when i physically couldn't take the stress of everything around me anymore. being busy made my flame for F1 dwindle, too. it's one of the main reasons i didn't return earlier. I've missed half the races this year, yes that includes both lando and oscar's wins, and although im looking forward to the summer break ending and the racecs coming back, i don't think the enthusiasm will ever return to the way it was when this blog was at its peak.
i feel like a coward for disappearing and it's a big regret of mine this year. i can't promise to write for F1 again, but what i've made will always be archieved here :)
THE UPDATE
not great. i can't even lie i'm not doing too hot right now. i promised i would return to writing when things finally calmed down and yet the more stress there was the more one off projects i made to combat it. throughout the months i've accumulated a lot of side projects for different fandoms like star wars, star trek, dc, merlin and lesser known fandoms such as heavy rain, mortal kombat, the sims (no seriously have you seen the lore) etc. that i have nowhere to post. in april i decided i can't afford (literally) to distract myself with any hobby projects for the sake of my situation and thus... i was an idiot and i deleted my ao3 account. there weren't that many stories on there anyway, but i regret it even if it was the right decision.
i owe @wtfisakilometer2 so much for telling me that the people who love the blog wouldn't mind what fandom it is as long as it's by me, even if i don't fully believe it. it did open my eyes to finally write this, though, so direct all your love to her.
so that leaves me here, sort of homeless on my own blog and with very conflicting feelings about it's direction. i intend to preserve it as an archive of my F1 writing without messing with it, but still let you know about my new ao3 and everything on it so i can keep both our interests in mind.
thank you for reading if you made it this far, i hope you have an awesome day and a lot of cat memes in your pinterest. thank you for all the lovely messages (i read everything) and thank you for everything this fandom has offered me. i will truly never get over you guys.
- star :)
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purplecoffee13 · 9 months
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‘Talk Dirty To Me’ - Thin Lines pt. 2
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‘And I know you like it too, the way that I want you. I gotta have you, oh yes, I do.’ - Talk Dirt To Me by Poison
Summary: ‘You just got some bad news and those unanswered texts from Harry are starting to look really good.’
Wc: 5.2k
Tropes: Rockstar!Harry x Opera singer!MC
Warnings: EXHIBITIONISM, daddy kink, sub/dom dynamics, mean dom!Harry
A/N: Heeyyyy… How y’all doing? Sorry for the long time no update. I have exams coming up so I wanted to upload this before I enter this hell-ish time. Hope you enjoy this, it’s uhm… more risqué than what I normally upload. (NOT PROOFREAD IM TOO LAZY RN)
Series Masterlist
General Masterlist
Ending your Wednesday night in a sweaty, half-lit bar that reeked of beer and sex hadn't exactly been something on your schedule, but you were here anyway. The reason? A text message from Harry, containing solely an address and taunting words that formed a dare too risky not to take.
Ever since that night in your dressing room, Harry had been texting you addresses of bars and clubs around town, but so far you hadn't responded to him. You were far too shocked by what you had let him do to you and how much you had liked every second of it.
It was devious, bad, and the most euphoric you had ever felt.
But it was a one time thing, you had told yourself. After you came down from the blissful feeling Harry had given you, you realized how insane his offer had sounded, and even if you had wanted it, he probably didn't mean it anyway.
Tonight, there was a formal dinner organized by the theatre where you had been performing for the opera. Loads of people were invited, it was a big ordeal. Reece had accompanied you, or so you thought before you saw he had brought his girlfriend with him.
It made you feel stupid. You could have brought a date if you had known, and you felt foolish for ever assuming Reece was your date. It already hadn't put you in the best mood, and as the icing on this disastrous cake, you had been seated next to his girlfriend.
She wasn't a bad person. In fact, she was very nice. It only made you feel all the more guilty about pining after her boyfriend. It wasn't something you had any control over, of course, but your stomach felt heavy nonetheless. You were about half-way through desert when she said it, casual as if it wasn't a big deal.
"We bought a house together."
You saw how Reece's eyes flew to you the moment that sentence flew out of his girlfriends' mouth, and it told you all you needed to know. He knew there was something between you and him, he'd confirmed it by the way his gaze flicked to yours and back to his plate. You weren't crazy, you hadn't been imagining it, so you didn't feel as guilty about feeling like you had been betrayed in a way.
You kept up the act and told her you were happy for the both of them, then excused yourself and rushed to the bathroom where you took a moment to collect yourself. You felt like ripping your hair out in frustration, and you knew you needed to hold onto this anger before it turned into sadness. You didn't want to waste any more tears on him, not tonight at least. No, for tonight, you needed a distraction.
Pulling your phone out of your purse, you clicked on the message Harry had sent you and put it in your navigation app. A ten minute drive, that wasn't too far from here.
Harry: 'Come out to play wherever you are, darling.'
You stared at the haunting sentence, and you felt your cheeks heat up at the sudden memories of that night from two weeks ago.
You: 'Wait for me by the entrance.'
(((|)))
Harry had been staring at his phone for god knows how long before Roger, one of his friends, flicked his fingers against his head to get him out of the trance he resided in. Harry let out an annoyed from, turning his head to his friend before looking back at his screen.
He couldn't believe you had finally replied to him. After ten days of no answer he had began to think that maybe you hadn't been interested as much as he thought. But then he'd think of the way you crumbled under his touch, and how he was the first one to do it, and he knew he couldn't let you go, not so soon at least.
Nini's was an underground bar filled with lowlifes, criminals and people who wanted to escape the reality of their lives. It was Harry's favorite place, and he couldn't wait to show you every corner of it.
Your Uber had taken a bit longer than you planned, but at last, you were here. You were in the sketchy part of the city. Had you not known that, you would have figured so by the concerned look of your driver. It was quite intimidating, to say the least, but you were ready to let go for the night, while holding Harry's hand of course.
Like you had requested, he was waiting by the door, leaned against the wall of the joint he would be spending tonight in. You spotted his tall frame almost immediately, and a calm sense of safety fell over you. Everything around Harry seemed scary; this neighborhood, this bar, these people. But strangely enough, you felt like nothing could happen as long as you were around him, when in reality he might be the most dangerous thing for you.
The smirk on Harry's face was almost proud, in a sense, and you felt your lips form into a smile. The thought of giving him what he wanted, making him happy, made you feel better than ever. You walked up to him, and stopped when you were standing right in front of him, a civil distance between the two of you. After all, you hadn't seen each other for two weeks, and while he had made you come, you weren't sure on what level of intimacy level that left the two you when it came to basic conversation.
It wasn't extremely cold outside, but it was quite chilly. Your soft pink dress was quite short and your hadn't worn tights, as you did not expect to end up standing out in the cold. So while your long, leather jacket was very fashionable, it didn't protect you from the temperature very well.
"Hi." You said, crossing your arms over each other in an attempt to stop your teeth from chattering too obviously. Harry sniffed a laugh and tugged on your arm to pull you into him. With his hand on the small of your back, he pushed you against him as he leaned his face down, nearing your mouth. Brushing over yours for a second, his lips crooked into a grin at the sight of your mouth opening ever so slightly in anticipation of a kiss. That was all he needed to know.
"Hi darling." He greeted you back before latching his mouth on to yours. It wasn't until your lips touched that he realized how much he had been wanting to kiss you, and she realized how desperate she was for his touch. Cupping your jaw with his free hand, he delved his tongue deeper into your mouth, but it still didn't feel deep enough. You knew your panties were already ruined and the thought of what would happen later tonight only made you ache more.
After a few more seconds, Harry stopped the kiss, urging a whine from you. He chuckled, stroking his knuckles over your cheeks before tapping your ass softly as he whispered 'C'mon' in your ear.
You took his hand and let him guide you downstairs, past all the people making out and almost — or fully — having sex in the hallway. The sounds that came from every corner of the club had manifested from some form of joy or pleasure, whether that be sex, alcohol or something else.
Harry led you to a couch where a few other people were sitting. He sat on the corner, leaving an open spot in the middle. No sooner as you had sat down, Harry threw an arm around you. You smiled at the action, and let yourself relish in the protective side that seemed to come out of him now that you were near.
"Love, that's Sasha, Roger, and Mikey." Harry pointed to the woman sitting next to you, the guy on the chair next to the couch, and a guy groping the girl he was making out with by the bar. You nodded and greeted them, while they watched you as if you were some kind of zoo animal. Sasha, the one next to you, leaned into you with a lazy smile on her face.
"You're pretty. Where did he find you, babe?" She asked, her voice ringing through the loud rock music that sounded from the speakers.
"The opera." You answered quickly, nervous and intimidated by the people around you. Sasha looked at you with a surprised look on her face as she flicked her eyes from Harry to you.
The livelihood of the conversation was over very soon, though, because a girl walked over, seated herself on Sasha's lap and started making out with her. You leaned back into the couch, a bit wide-eyes as you watched Sasha's hand slip between the girls' legs. Though you liked what you saw, you weren't nearly buzzed enough to be on the same level of confidence as everyone else in this club.
"Is that turning you on, love?" Harry murmured into your ear. The warmth of his breath against the side of your face did not help your case at all, and all you could do to answer him was to nod sheepishly. You could feel the smirk on his face, and even if you couldn't, you could hear it through his voice. "That's what I thought."
He planted a few kisses on your cheek and jawline, his hand snaking onto your inner thigh, when his name was called by Roger. You both looked in his friend's direction, and you noticed the little silver white plate he held in his hands. Laying on it, were lines of white powder and a rolled up dollar bill. You wondered where they had gotten the dollar bill from, as this was a club in London, but then you realized that perhaps you were focusing on the wrong thing.
You watched as Harry took the plate and placed it on a the salon table in front of him. He grabbed the dollar bill and put it to his nose as he leaned down, snorting the line of — what you assumed was — cocaine away.
"You want a line?" Roger asked, and you snapped your head to him. You thought for a moment. You had never done cocaine before, and you weren't sure it was the best idea. Neither was coming here, but you were here to let go, so what better time to do that? You looked at Harry — who already had his eyes on you — for some kind of approval. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders.
"Whatever you want darling."
You pondered for a bit more, and then scooted yourself forward on the couch, staring at the lines on the plate in front of you.
"A little bit couldn't hurt."
With that, you snatched the dollar bill from Harry's hand and leaned forward, snorting about half of the line. You felt that although tonight was in spirits of letting go, you didn't want to lose too much control of your body, at least not at the hands of drugs or alcohol. Especially for the first time, this should be more than enough.
"Good girl." Harry rubbed your back, smiling as you scrunched your nose at the weird sensation. He leaned into your ear again, ever so slowly. "Are you going to let me ruin you again tonight, baby?"
As if it was a prime instinct, you nodded your head, leaning into him. A sadistic laugh came from his throat as he latched his hand around yours. "God, I forgot what a pathetic little slut you are."
You whimpered a 'yes', and hoped you agreeing with him would lead him to do something. You needed him and at this point it didn't matter if he got you off on this couch in front of everyone. It wasn't like something like that wasn't already happening next to you.
"Harry... please. I need you." You cried out as he stroked his fingers up and down your inner thigh, grazing over your soaking wet panties ever so slightly. Your pussy was aching and you just needed him to touch you.
"Of course you do." He said smugly, and if you had had a little more courage, you would've rolled your eyes. But you didn't want to risk it, you didn't want him to have a reason to not pleasure you. He softly pushed you until you were leaned back into the couch, and you glanced at Sasha and her girl, who was at the brink of an orgasm from the look on her face. To feel whatever she was feeling right now, you couldn't wait
Harry's hand found itself around your jaw again, while his other hand worked its way up your leg. You weren't physically able to keep your eyes off of him, too lost in the rough details of his face, and once again you wondered how someone could be this pretty. At the soft sensation of Harry's fingertips grazing the outside nog your soaking panties, your hand flew to his wrist.
Harry looked down at your hand and then back at you. His gaze was so dark that you automatically retreated your hand. The corner of his mouth pulled up, and he stroked a bit of hair behind your ear as he tutted.
"You either want this, or you don't. Don't waste my time." From the way his voice sounded, the words could've been the sweetest compliment in the world. But you didn't miss the sinister edge to it. You knew he wasn't a soft person, you were aware of who you had gotten involved with. There wasn't any gentleness you were expecting, in fact, it was the last thing you wanted or needed from him.
"I want this." You stated sternly, which was very unlike yourself. It was almost like you had something to proof. And deep down, you did. To Harry, to Reece, but most of all to yourself. You've been wanting this for weeks and in hindsight, you were a fool for prohibiting yourself from pleasure in the name of an unrequited love for a guy who is buying a house with his girlfriend. You deserve to feel good, you want to feel good, and last time Harry made you feel so good.
"Alright." Harry grinned, and started to rub your clit over your panties. You shifted in your seat ever so slightly at the sensitive touch of his fingertips against your heat. Your eyes fluttered shut as you got lost in your pleasure, and you rested your head against the couch.
Harry kept drawing slow circles, and your hand found itself to his black dress shirt, holding onto it like your life depended on it. You couldn't even be occupied with the fact that there was a chance that people were watching, and if you were being honest, it only turned you on more. It was like Harry said the last time, and you marveled at how he had figured out you had a thing for exhibitionism before you even knew it yourself.
"Harry..." you whined softly, pulling at his shirt so hard that a button flew open. That made him slow down for just a second, mainly out of surprise, before he started rubbing even harder.
"Open your eyes." He ordered, and you did what he said immediately.
Like you had expected, there were a few people watching. A girl, over by the bar was sitting on a barstool, legs crossed as she kept her eyes fixated on your legs. And Roger, who had a girl on his lap by now, still looked at the way you were falling apart for Harry.
"Do you see that, love? Everybody's watching you." Harry said, and you gasped when he slapped on your clit. "But you're just gonna watch me."
Your eyes travelled to his and you kept them there, obeying him just like he liked.
"I want you to come for me, show everyone here what I do to you. How pathetic and desperate you are for me."
You knew there would never be any point in disobeying him, but it was scary how your body seemed to live with that exact same philosophy. How it just gave in to him, crumbled down whenever he'd demand it should. Scary, but exhilarating.
Suppressing the sounds attempting to escape your mouth, your orgasm washed over you. That tense feeling you'd had in your stomach for weeks now, was slowly fading away, and the result of it ended up on Harry's fingers.
With a smirk, Harry retreated his hands and sucked your arousal off of his fingers, keeping his eyes fixated on you. It was almost as if he was trying to taunt you, but you were trying to keep yourself from another orgasm.
"Let's go." He suddenly said, smacking your thigh and standing up, then beginning to walk away without waiting for you. You hurry out of your seat and follow Harry as he walked towards the corner of the bar. You frowned as he seemed to reach a door that had a 'private' label on it, but you keep quiet and follow him anyway.
The door leads to a staircase, again leading to the office of what you can only assume is the boss. It has a big desk and large windows, and a door that leads to a small balcony. It isn't very high up, as you can still hear people chatting outside, but it is far enough to not know what they are talking about.
You weren't allowed to take in any more about the room though, as Harry walked up from behind and pressed himself against you while his hands started massaging your breasts. You lean back into him in an instant, going weak under his touch.
"You have amazing tits, baby." He said as he began assaulting your neck and you let a grossly loud moan. It was a sound you had never made before, not with Harry and not in general, but you could tell he liked it by the way his grip on your breasts tightened even more. "I'm going to fuck you now, and then I'm going to come all over them, understand?"
You knew the sentence was more of a demand than a question, but you whined a 'yes' anyway. Harry then turned you around and grabbed scooped you up, arms under your thighs. You complied and wrapped your legs around his waist, letting him guide you to wherever he wanted to go. You just needed him.
You could've almost come at the way he held you up with one arm while using the other to open the door to the balcony, and your body was on fire as endless possibilities of what he was planning ran through your mind.
"I'm clean, baby." He said, walking onto the balcony before kissing you. You pulled back to grant him an answer too.
"Me too, and I'm on the pill. Just so you know." You said, and the insinuation made Harry curse under his breath. Coming inside you seemed to be something the both of you had been fantasizing about.
Then, Harry sat you on the edge of the railing. Your arms instantly tightening around his neck, way too aware of how high from the ground you were.
"Harry..."
"Trust me, otherwise this isn't going to work." He interrupted you, and though his tone was a bit harsh, he was right. You were going to lose your virginity, and although you knew that didn't actually mean anything, this would still be the first time a dick entered your vagina. And that did make you a bit nervous. He held you tight as he unbuckled his pants and pulled it down.
"I'm gonna fuck you so good baby, I promise." You heart just about melted at the sweet words that fell from Harry's lips. This was probably the softest he was every going to be, and although it was very nice, it was him being mean that got you wet.
Then, he pushed his tip inside, earning a gasp from you. He whispered in your ear, telling you to relax, and just like the first orgasm you had tonight, your body listened to him. It still hurt — he was long and quite thick — but your wetness combined with the relaxation of your muscles helped a great deal.
He took a minute to let you get used to his size, but once you told him it was okay to move, he took it as a sign to take out his own sexual frustration. One that you didn't know he'd had for weeks, hoping you'd respond to him like a fucking teenager. Smiling when seeing you read his message, and almost losing his shit when you replied tonight. He'd been dying to feel you again, in whichever way he could.
"Oh my god..." you softly groaned as he thrusted in and out of you. It hurt, a great deal even during the first thrusts, but Harry's moans were making up for the pain, and you felt it ebbing away.
"You are so fucking tight. God fucking damn it." He mused in your ear and then the sound of glass breaking was heard from down on the street, followed by a bunch of cheers and loud laughter. Initially, your grip around Harry tightened. All of a sudden, he pulled himself out of you, and your mouth fell open at the emptiness inside of you.
He got you off the railing and turned you around, pushing you down until your stomach leaned against the railing you were just sitting on. Half of your upper body was leaned over the railing, available to see for anyone who would look up. Your body shot forward at the sting of a slap on your ass, and you moaned in response.
Without warning, Harry slid back into your hot, achy walls again and began ramming himself into you. At this point, the mixed pleasures of his sounds, the way he filled you up and the chance that people might see you get railed as your tits spill out of your dress overruled the pain of getting used to his size, and you were an uncontrollable mess.
"Ah— Harry!" You could do nothing but cry out his name as he drilled into your pussy like his life depended on it. Your hands tried to push your breasts back into your bra, but Harry stopped thrusting once deep inside of you, leaned over and snatched your hands away, pinning them on your back.
"Don't fucking touch yourself unless I say so, you ungrateful little slut." His degrading words hit you like a truck and he resumed driving into you. "You'll take what I give you, and you'll let people smart enough to look up, watch me fuck you senseless until your nice tits have spilled all out of your top and you can't say anything but my name."
"Yes, Harry!" You said, breathlessly. "Thank you, thank you."
"That's a good girl." You could hear the smirk in his voice, and you gasped as he smacked your ass again. The sound seemed like it was able to be heard all over the street, but no one looked up.
You didn't contain your moans, you physically weren't able to, as Harry pounded into you over and over again. The hurt was washing away, but you still felt very... stretched out. This was your first time after all, but you were aware that Harry wasn't going to let that get in the way of giving it to you rough.
Your breaths became shorter, and you felt like another orgasm was on the rise. But you needed more stimulation, otherwise it would take a longer time. It was like Harry read your mind, because he let go of your wrists and let your reach for your clit. With his harsh thrusts and the new stimulation on the most sensitive part of your heat, your high was now racing towards you.
"That's it, you gonna cum all over my cock, sweetheart?" Harry said, thrusting into you harder, allowing you to feel how deep he was really going. There were tears rolling down your cheeks at the impact of his long hard cock inside of you and how amazingly painful it felt.
"Yes, yes..." Your words trailed off. There was nothing else coming out of your mouth but sounds that represented how he was making you feel. Comprehensive words were something for later.
"You've been so mean to me. Ignoring my texts, had to wait for it so long, didn't I?" He told you, and you shut your eyes. The sound of his voice was getting you closer and closer, and as you did, you realized how intense this orgasm was really going to be.
"I'm sorry daddy." The words rolled off your tongue before you had a chance to stop yourself, or be embarrassed.
"Fuck, are you fucking kidding me?" Harry whispered, mainly to himself, as his hands dug into your waist and he slowed his thrusts down, containing himself from his own orgasm. Then he spoke up again.
"That's okay, baby. Because now this pussy is daddy's, isn't it? Mine to use, mine to keep."
That was enough to bring you over the edge. You cried and cried as your orgasm took over your entire body, and you felt like you were living in a dream. Everything was hazy, and you couldn't even hear what Harry was saying behind you. But you did feel him take his cock out of your pussy, and it felt wrong, and cold, and empty.
You turned your head, holding yourself up by the railing as you watched Harry walk back inside. A frown formed on your face. What was he doing?
"Get over here." He demanded. You pushed yourself up to stand straight, legs weak and a bit wobbly. It felt like you had cinder blocks attached to your ankles with how difficult it was for you to move. It hurt, too. But the smirk on Harry's face made up for it, and you loved to see him pleased with you. When you finally reached him, holding onto his arm to keep yourself steady, you were hoisted up onto the desk, forced to lay down on your back on it.
Harry walked around the desk, towards where you were laying with your head, and closed the windows. It was rather cold outside, so this out a stop to the breeze. You waited in anticipation for what he was going to do. And then, he was stood right over you, right over your face. He pulled you back by your arms, still not saying a word, until your head dangled off the desk.
"Have you ever given anyone a blowie, Y/N?" He asked, massaging your tits. You arched your back at the touch, and nodded your head. Harry didn't know what he was expecting, and he didn't know he would hate the fact that another man's cock had been in her mouth before. But there was only one solution to that, and it was to give it to her so good that she would forget there were any other men in the first place. "Then I won't go slow on you."
"I never want you to, daddy." You responded, voice still rough from how fucked out you were. Harry instantly groaned, you were actually made for him, there was no other explanation.
To his surprise, your hand wrapped itself around Harry's cock and you started stroking him until he took a step closer to you. You still reached forward, a desperate need to have his cock inside you in one way or another. And when you started kissing his tip, Harry instinctively took a step closer. From there, you took him further and further into your mouth. Times like these were moments where you thanked the universe for not giving you a gag reflex. It came in very handy now. It's why you loved to give blowjobs, you loved watching people fall apart for you.
And fall apart Harry did. He leaned over, holding down your hips so you wouldn't slide of the desk, and he tried to fight the moans that came from the very back of throat. He knew he wasn't going to last long with her mouth fucking him like this. When his tip reached the back of her throat, he jerked forward, earning a strangled moan from you.
"Yeah? You want me to fuck your face, baby?" He asked, but before you could even reply, his hips started moving. You held your mouth open, enjoying the rough treatment from him. This was beyond amazing. You didn't want him to ever stop.
But, after a minute or so, he did.
"Fuck! I'm gonna come baby." Harry said as he pulled his cock out of you and started stroking until his orgasm hit him and his hot spurts of cum landed on your tits, just like he wanted.
You were both still panting by the time your chest was coated with him, and Harry leaned down to give you a sloppy, fucked out kiss. He then grabbed some tissues and began to clean you up. You did nothing but stare at his beautiful face until all the cum was removed from your tits.
"C'mon, let's get you a taxi." He said before giving you a small kiss. Your eyebrows knit at his command.
"But I wanted to stay a little longer." You pouted. Harry shook his head as he threw the tissues in the trash.
"Don't be ridiculous, you can't even walk properly." He said, turning around to see you sitting on the desk, your dress back on. He felt proud to see you so ruined, knowing that he had done it, especially because he had been the first.
You got up, and unfortunately found that he was right. Your legs felt just as heavy as before, and you had to lean against the desk to hold up the balance.
"Fine." You huffed, arms crossed.
Harry just smiled as he walked towards you and scooped you up, like you didn't weigh more than a box of feathers. But you did, so you were especially impressed at the ease with which he picked you up.
He carried you downstairs, completely ignoring the puzzled looks from people, and when he got to the bouncer, he just brushed it off with the excuse that your heel had broken.
Luckily there were a couple of taxi's waiting outside the bar, and Harry put you in one, giving your address to the driver. It occurred to you then, that you had never told him that.
"Wait, how do you know—" you were about to ask, but got interrupted by him.
"Same way I got your phone number." He answered before grabbing your face and giving you another kiss. "Text me when your home, and preferably after that, too."
You chuckled and went to put on your seatbelt as Harry closed the door for you. You looked out the window again, but he was already gone. Still, you were smiling.
You were definitely going to text him back.
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actualbird · 2 years
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hc time: nxx team members ranked on how good they are at answering their phone
1st place: miss mc rosa qiangwei
purely based on canon, she seems to be immensely punctual when it comes to answering both calls and texts! i know this is mostly because of Story Reasons (because, mc, narratively, Needs to be good at answering her phone punctually for the story to progress in the ways the pacing Needs it to be progressing), so maybe shes less of a Very Punctual Phone Answerer and more of a Deus Ex Machina Phone Answerer.
mc, realizing that shes been answering her phone VERY punctually: ....oh god, something big is gonna happen soon, isnt it? D:
it's like the phone-answering equivalent of when Boss Music suddenly starts playing
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2nd place: artem
while artem is also a workaholic nerd like mc, hes in second and Worse because i like to think that he sometimes he gets so focused on work he doesnt realize his phone's vibrated off his desk onto the floor. or sometimes he gets so buzzed up on too many coffees in a row that he just assumes that any vibrations happening in his reality is Normal. basically, too much coffee gives him the jitters, so artem essentially goes on Vibrate Mode too.
celestine: i just watched your phone vibrate itself off of your desk, how did you not notice???
artem, trembling because of overwork and caffeine and speaking very fast: uhwellyouseeit'sbecause---
celestine: ah.
artem on vibrate mode + phone on vibrate mode = they cancel out.
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3rd place: vyn
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good at answering the phone provided you follow his schedule. also, vyn will not hesitate to block the numbers of repeat offenders.
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4th place: luke
luke seems like the type who would WANT to be very punctual in answering his phone, but sometimes he gets super duper focused on a case or a new gadget and the Extreme Focus blocks him out from hearing his phone's ringtone for 3 hours straight. or he breaks his phone accidentally while hes doing something fighty or parkouring so he can get to mc's place in record time. OR peanut has made it a fun little game to swipe "decline call!" whenever he sees that luke's phone is lighting up.
or all of the above, all together.
luke: hey im SO sorry i missed your calls for three days straight. on the first day i was just distracted, on the second day i had to use my phone as a projectile weapon, and on the third day peanut kept ending all my incoming calls and then took my phone and flew off with it and i have NO idea where it is anymore
aaron: normally, i'd call bullshit, but youre exactly the type of person to get hit by all that consecutively.
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5th place: marius
i know in my heart that this man probably has 4 separate phones, each for different purposes. one is for Pax work matters, the second is for NXX work matters, the third is for schoolwork communicating with his professors and the such, and the last one is for personal contacts.
the nxx team are in both the NXX Specific Phone and the Personal Phone, sans vyn who used to be on all the non-pax phones until vyn blocked the phone number of marius' school phone because marius kept texting him questions about the reading at 1am, so now marius has to text vyn his schoolwork questions from the other two phones.
contacts aside, all phones are near CONSTANTLY going off because he is busy as HELL. if he only had one phone and wasnt juggling all these different matters, he'd be super punctual. alas, marius just has So Much To Attend to, and when marius needs to Have A Moment To Himself To Be Sane, he foists off the first 3 non-personal-usage phones to vincent like hes a phone babysitter.
vincent, cradling 3 phones in his arms like they are babies all vibrating with notifications and texts and email alerts: master von hagen, your children need you :(
marius, rhythmically thunking his head on his desk: UUUGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
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guavagyu · 2 years
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you're so cute - k.mg
omg second mingyu fic 😵‍💫 anyways this was requesteddddd <333 (tysm for sending me an ask ily 😭)
i also rlly wanted to publish on the day it was requested but ive been really busy so im so sorry for the delay 🥲🥲
that actually made me like....idk...cry (in a good way obviously cuz its mingyu??) also i tried to include the request as much as i could, and just added shit later on :_)
anyways teehee (mingyu>>>>)
contents: smut (mdni!! youve been warned), some humor here and there, established relationship (rlly briefly mentioned), oral (f receiving), fem!reader, softdom!reader (not even that much but ig it still counts so yeah), sub!mingyu, tall reader again cuz slay, (affectionate) teasing, praise, squirting, fingering, strength kink hsjahdksdhh, swearing lol, mentions of the rest of svt + specific members, mingyu being sweeter than like idk candyland, lmk if there r any more <3
wc: 841 lol (shorter than id hoped)
synopsis: after mingyu teasing reader for the entire day while they were at a public event together, when they get home, reader has her way with mingyu. >:)
"you're such a tease, you know?" you gently pushed mingyu against the wall, your eyes level with his the moment you returned to your shared apartment with your boyfriend,
"w-what?" mingyu gulped, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat, regret quickly bubbling from his previous actions earlier in the day, you two and the rest of the group had been at an event for some reason (you all were invited??), and mingyu decided it would be an amazing idea to tease you for the entire duration of the time you were there. firstly, he wore the tightest suit imaginable, in an attempt to show off his physique (to which you were already massively aware of), which was quite rude. even though it was super distracting, it was definitely an enjoyable sight. alright, fine, you had a strength kink. you loved how you and mingyu were practically the same size, but he still managed to always overpower you when it comes to strength. it just sparked something in you.
second, he kept fucking licking the gelato that was being served there like he was eating pussy. it was so irritating. you almost took him right then and there. and it's not like the others didn't notice your striking glares towards mingyu's direction, clearly understanding the situation. fortunately jeonghan didn't make any comments, and only wiggled his eyebrows when you made eye contact, which made you lightly laugh and shake your head,
"you know exactly what the fuck im talking about mingyu, don't even, you horny bitch," you rolled your eyes and chuckled, when he smiled and then buried his face into your chest, "you're so cute, you know that?”
“im only a horny bitch for you, love..” mingyu blushed, his comment and term of endearment making your heart flutter,
“hmm? oh really?” you playfully raised an eyebrow, trying to invoke a better response from mingyu, but was slightly disappointed when he simply buried his face back into your chest, and simply nodding. then, you felt it. you felt it. gyu must've been hard for the entire event, probably from some random thought that popped up or something about the outfit you wore that made him..uh..brick up,
"mhm, only you, always you," he nodded, before taking you into a soft kiss, whimpering when you began making your way down to his neck, placing delicate kisses along his collarbone before stopping at a specific spot to lightly suck on, making gyu shiver and let out a soft moan. desperate for more, you continued your business there, doing anything capable that your mouth has the ability to. after a few minutes of this, gyu let out a loud moan and a soft whine after, the previously hard rock sticking into your stomach slowly becoming softer and softer,
"pup.." you trailed off, mingyu's face heating up at the nickname and when you continued, "did you just cum untouched?"
"uh.." you gently grabbed his face and smiled at him,
"that's adorable gyu," you kissed him, "can you help me now, please?"
"oh," when he realized how little attention you must've been paid, especially somewhere specific, he added, "yeah sure,"
"bedroom?" mingyu nodded and let you take his hand and lead him there, both stripping off your clothes when you arrived. when you settled yourself in the bed, he settled between your legs, only continuing after you give him a small "yeah", he started going at it like he'd been starved. when you slightly tugged at his hair, he groaned, the vibrations causing you to let out a choked moan. as mingyu continued to eat you out,
"g-gyu," you softly let out,
"hm?" he hummed, letting out vibrations again, making you groan,
"close," that's when he quickly detached himself from your pussy, and two of his long, perfect fingers, and reattaching his lips to your clit, sucking harshly. gyu hastily found your spot and began to curl and scissor his fingers inside of you, which inevitably brought you to cloud nine, well, launched you to cloud nine. it was only when you finally decided to return to earth, and you heard him laugh in astonishment,
"love," mingyu softly kissed your thigh,
"yeah?" you panted,
"you squirted," he smiled,
"huh? i can do that?" you looked at him, slightly baffled,
"well, you just did," gyu shrugged, and you noticed how his face dimly shined in the light from your release, and the large dark patch on the bedsheets, making you blush and let out a soft "oh". the moment he got up after you caught your breath, you scoffed and said,
"you are not hard again, i swear to fucking god,"
"hey, that just means i get to be here with you and, uh, you know, fuck you longer," he grinned, displaying his ethereal canines,
"you are so weird," you laughed,
"you love it. and me," mingyu winked,
"you're right. i do love you," you smiled, gyu letting out a quiet "i love you too" before the rest of the night was filled with kisses..and a lot of sex.
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cynettic · 3 years
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Stay with Me pt.3
Summary - You manage to escape from Scaramouche, if only for a moment before you realize there’s no escape. It only takes until you’re sitting back in your regular spot that you know what you need to do.
Pairings - Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche
Warnings - Suggestive content, mentions of death, swearing, slight gore / blood 
A/N - Its really hard to make this depressing while I’m vibing to Rasputin. Like no joke- I have it on one of the 1 hour playlists :D
Here you’ll find -  pt.1 and pt.2
He’d left a key.
Scaramouche didnt make mistakes, not while he had you captive in the vicinity of his bedroom. He didnt have room for mistakes, not when you were watching his every movement while he was in your line of sight. 
Sure, he mightve killed a person or two in front of you, but those were necessary mistakes. There was a sign on the door, it specified not to enter. You’d understand that, right?
Thats what he thought at least, lulling himself into belief after belief that you’d be there waiting for him every time. That you’d welcome him with open arms, even if there were chains ensnaring your wrists. That you’d accept your fate at his hands and submit yourself to him.
The Balladeer was a fool.
He’d kept you there for too long, and while you searched for an easy way to escape, time sent your head spinning. Into a spiral that begged only for the wind against your face, back laying on dirt with the familiar chirping up birds waking you up in the morning.
You wanted to go outside.
And when push comes to shove, you had to risk a little more to make it happen. Lure him into bed with kisses while your hands unbuttoned his vest. But what he believed to be alluring contacts was just your way of finding the keys hidden in the back pocket of his shorts.
It wasnt hard to find the one to your cuffs while he was asleep, cuddled in your chest with both arms around your waist as if to get you to stay put. You took the key, hiding them back in his clothing and hoping he didnt notice.
He didnt say anything the next day.
You werent going to wait any longer.
“Oh for fucks sake, why won't the goddamn door open?”
The room was left in tatters behind you, a little gift for Scaramouche once he got back. Turns out a pair of chains can smash up a lot of things, and rage can be used as a great source of strength when contained for such a long time.
But you’d done more than throw the blankets around, cut up the drawers and smash open the windows. Because your fists had bled red when you punched through the glass, puncturing your skin. Your knuckles were an ugly red, bruising already.
Ah, Scaramouche deserved a much better gift.
Gruesome as it was, you rubbed your knuckles against the pale walls. Till the blood stopped coming, till there was a nice little message for the boy which you held so dearly to your heart.
‘Balladeer.’
The first time you’d found out about him being a harbinger he’d told you not to call him by that name. You weren’t someone he associated with by work, you were a treasure to him. That’s why you continued to call him as he pleased, although the temptation always arose.
You were no longer his.
Shoving the door with your hand again, palm fiddling with the handle and groaning when it hardly budged. “Stupid,” you grumbled when the knob began to loosen. Backing up, you charged with your shoulder to the door, full force as the momentum broke the hinges. The door fell down with you along with it.
It was expected, you’d been stuck in the room for a long time, and thats considering you’d sat on the ground for decades. Your body was slight numb, muscles sore and unused for so long. 
“You a-arent supposed to leave your room!”
A young man stood in the hallway along with a woman who looked relatively the same age. The two were wearing uniforms, flinching when you stood up from the debris and off the door. “Excuse me?” You asked, voice unnecessarily icy and stern. But you couldnt care less, you were going to get out of this house, damn anyone who stood in your way.
They both continued to shake when you walked towards them, staggering from side to side. The woman stepped up in front of the man, presenting a brave face. “If you leave the mansion, the harbinger will kill us all!”
“Well then I expect you should be on your way then. Actually…” you gestured to the maze of hallways. “You can lead the way.”
“What…?”
Your hand went limp to your side, an exasperated looking momentarily crossing your face before you sighed. “Im not staying trapped in that room, I’m sorry if that ruins your life, but frankly you're not the one stuck in there are you?” You took an extra step just to intimidate them, eyes wide to make the appearance of crazy. “It would be a great help if you showed me where he hid my vision too.”
“We can show you to the door…” The man began, “But the whereabouts of your vision are unknown, he wouldnt tell us something like that.”
A gift bestowed from the gods, a piece to help me thrive with my ambitions and pursue my goals.
Gone.
You really wished you’d taken to clawing out Scaramouche’s face instead, but you’d take what you got. Right now your main priority was getting out of this place, even if it meant leaving a piece of you behind.
“Door.” Your voice was raspy and there was a terrible feeling that crawled up to your throat, but you didnt have time to be emotional. “Show me where the door is… please.”
The conflict in their eyes dissipates by the time they lead you along, mumbling words between themselves. You didnt bother to try eavesdropping, you were so, so tired. You wanted to go home.
Anywhere. Anywhere but here.
It took a few minutes until you were standing in front of a grand door, almost twice the size of you and just as wide. You then began to notice the decorational plants and furniture that filled the empty space, there wasn't an inch of dust. Even though you could tell none of it was used.
“Hurry,” the man warned when you paused. “I dont know when our master is coming back, but if its soon, we’ll all be screwed.”
You couldnt feel your head as you numbly nodded, hand clenching the knob and flinging the set of doors open. “Thank you,” you merely mumbled, taking your first step out of the house in what felt like forever.
The days after that were a blur, the area around Scaramouche’s house were nothing but void. Empty and filled with forests and vast plains. You knew he didnt like people or socializing in general, but to this extent?
Your only option was to run.
Let your feet take you somewhere, anywhere. It was a constant pattern of running and taking breaks, leaning on a tree and gasping in a few breaths before you were again scurrying through the forest. 
And yet you felt better than you’d felt in past months that you’d been stuck with Scaramouche.
Food became any boar you came across, the claws you’d spent so long hiding with Scaramouche coming to unleash a wrath beyond your comprehension. Till the animal was cut to shreds and no meat was left even to eat. You’d slaughtered it, without intention to eat or benefit for it, you’d killed it just to kill.
“I’m sorry,” you’d sobbed into the ground where you’d buried the harmless animal. Forehead pressed into the dirt as you pleaded for forgiveness to whatever archons would accept it. You couldn't even remember what archons you were supposed to pray to. “Forgive me- forgive me…”
But eventually you found your way around to somewhere you knew. Territory of Inazuma where you could find your way back, back home.
Where was home?
You’d been on the run from the vision hunt decree, abandoning your post for the Kitsune Saiguu for such a thing. Even now that you could return without a vision and as no threat under the decree…
You’d sacrificed everything for your vision.
Where were you to go now…?
Rain patted down, the trees providing only a slight cover as stray drops fell into your matted dirty hair. You didnt mind, it hid the tears that slid down your lifeless face, feet taking you into the far meadows of your hometown. Till you plopped down underneath a tree, knees curled to your chest and arms hugging them close. You were crying.
You were home.
____________________
“Awh,” a ginger haired murmured, elbow resting on the cool wood of the tabletop. “Is little Mouchie sad? I heard your kitty cat escaped~”
A death wish, even fatui that idly minded themselves around the bar knew it. Sipping cold drinks and swirling their cups, the soft chatter was nothing but a distraction from the main course of events. That being the smaller Harbinger who sat sulking in his seat, hunched over with a drink in hand. He’d drank far more than what was on the counter, but everytime he finished a glass, he’d smash it on the ground, watching the fragile glass shatter into pieces.
“I dont have a cat,'' was his only response, tone daring Childe to pursue further. To give him a reason to start throwing the glass in his face instead.
And Childe was an idiot when it came to challenging someone.
“No cat?” The rest of the drink in the taller harbinger’s glass was gone when he threw his head back. “Hmmm, I cant think of what else could’ve had you so enraptured in returning home then~!”
Scaramouche didnt respond, uneven bangs shadowing the bags under his eyes. “Stronger,” he said instead, elbow on the counter and hand outstretched for something. When there was no movement from the man managing the wine, the harbinger looked up. “I need something stronger to drink,” he repeated, voice seething.
“Of c-course!”
The glass was nestled in Scaramouche’s palm in no time, fingers curling around the circular form to down it in seconds. The drink merely slid down his throat in one movement, alcohol burning his senses. It didn’t matter, he was numbed by the growing rage inside of him.
Finally, he turned to the ginger haired boy, eyes hazily dancing along the counter till it reached his fingertips. Up his hand and along his arm, till Scaramouche was staring right into Childe’s eyes. “They escaped,” he admitted softly. “But it’s alright, because I sent something that’ll bring them back.”
Childe paused, raising his drink up away from his lips to pose a question. Hesitation danced along his features before he brought the glass back, he’d rather not provoke the shorter male any further. Wasn’t like he could interfere anyway.
____________________
“That… that…” 
It was preposterous, having returned to that same spot for a day or two and heading back to the hometown you’d once lived in. The one Scaramouche had lived in. There shouldn’t have been an issue, you were solely gathering supplies for the sake of it, ambition driving you to travel far far away.
Out of Inazuma.
It was your new beginning, convincing yourself that you didn't need a vision. Finding some sort of purpose before Scaramouche shattered the vision and your life along with it. You’d seen how people had reacted when it had been ingrained in the statue, neutralized and broken. They lost hope, purpose and aspirations for anything new.
It’s not like the Raiden Shogun took my vision.
But you’d taken that fact for granted, expecting some sort of new start without Scaramouche. A victory, getting away from him just for a split second and getting out of Inazuma altogether, you’d never see him again.
Until you got his message.
“How the hell…” You crushed the note until it was just crumbled paper in your hand, slowly leaning on the stone wall. “Piece of shit… what kind of person even…” 
Not only did he manage to find you, but without making his presence known, he’d tugged at your one weakness with an ease that had you down on your knees.
You threw the paper to the ground, deliberate as you stared past the alleyway. Pensive as you considered your options. Damn, what options did you even have? You’d been an idiot to underestimate Scaramouche, he wasn’t a child, you knew that… but archons he seemed like one when he was with you. Shown you a vulnerability he wanted only you to see. But maybe that had been part of his plan all along, until all you believed was his soft demeanor.
He may act like a child, but he’s a harbinger.
You stared down at the crumbled piece of paper in disgust.
Not only that, but he has no regard for human life.
Either way, you’d lived decades more than him. You could face him, you would present yourself to him just as he expected you to. Even when everything in you rejected the idea, sobbed at the thought of returning to that house, those chains. Being locked up and confined only for the purpose of coddling a small boy, a selfish boy, a cruel boy. 
Deep breath in, deep breath out.
You’d figure out a way, and this time you wouldn’t rule out the option of his death.
———————
Oh darling Y/n, how have you been?
I hope this letter reaches you rather soon, we both have much to discuss, no? About me, about you, and much more. You see, I’ve taken up quite a distaste to your little friends. Stone statues in Inazuma as small as Kitsunes truly hold no purpose, what will they do, come back to life? Haha, I should think not. I’ve already arranged to have them demolished, who knows what kind of material they might possess. Ah, and of course I’d show you the finishing product, unless you’re willing to come and have a chat with me once more? Under the Sakura tree like we used to, you’ve waited years, I believe you can wait for me?
I hope this letter reaches you in best interests. I’m always looking out for you after all.
Sincerely, your Balladeer
——————
It was raining.
Beautiful weather as you lay sitting there, feet crossed and tucked in the same you’d often do. After all, there was no need to fear the vision hunt decree or the Raiden Shogun. Let them come, let them take care of you before Scaramouche did.
You werent cold, not when the cold drops dampened your clothing, slipping down the length of your spine and drenching your face. Despite having lived in a luxury residency for such a long time, this was where you were most comfortable, enduring whatever the weather had for you, taking it with a smile. Because you were waiting…
The Kitsune Saiguu was a distant memory.
You were waiting for Scaramouche, the young boy that often bound into the field in lengthy strides, childlike wonder in his eyes. The one who’d cried when the other kids pushed him away, the one that just wanted to be praised. You’d held him in your arms, and now, even knowing the results, you wouldnt have done differently.
He was just a boy.
Just a boy when he joined the fatui, looking for praise that he was given. He created chaos and bellowed orders with a cruelty that was highly looked upon. Told that he was doing well, so he continued to do so.
He’s just a boy.
You wished you’d held him in your arms, if not only for a tad longer. Shield him away from the wrongness of the world, if only for one last time.
Banishing away your hatred for him was hard.
But you found it under the tree, rain soon dimming down to a clouded cold breeze that swept through the meadow. You’d hated him while stuck in the mansion, but you could now see it from a larger point of view. What he did was wrong of course, but you could remember him so vividly now. His small form giggling, tiny arms around your neck. 
“Play with me!”
Was it your fault?
For not holding him tighter? For trying to rectify his bad doings and teach him what was wrong and right? Maybe if your grip was firmer, if you’d spoken to him about the warmth he’d given you that day when playing cards...
“Lazy ass.”
Burying down that pile of worry and insecurities, you took a deep breath in to relax. The edge of your lip perked up, only slightly. “Still terrible with your social skills arent you?”
Slowly securing a dry space under the three with you, Scaramouche sat down. His features were the same ones you’d grown accustomed to at his mansion. Rich clothes, sharp eyes, and the baby face that refused to go away. His movements were soft as he pulled out a deck of cards. The two of you didnt speak as he distributed them between you both. It was tense… no, it felt too much like the warmth form long ago to be tense. You only wished the situation to be different.
“I love you.”
But you could only offer a bitter smile to his words. “I love my vision,” you replied. “I love the Kitsune Saiguu, and I love my friends.”
His touch was gentle when his fingers came to gently cradle your cheek. Holding your face dearly as he peered into your eyes, his were soft. Different from the cruelty he held within, the hatred that burned and destruction that seeked to explode.
You saw a little boy.
Your hand came to press his hand further against your cheek, till you slid his palm to your lips. He appeared so calm when you pressed the first kiss, lips tracing the lines along his palm with all the care in the world.
But you needed to change your view, see him as the man he now was. As the man he had become.
“I love you,” he repeated, and you let go of his hand. It fell limp by his side, cards all but forgotten. There was a much more pressing matter at hand, because you truly needed to see him as he was.
It was necessary if you planned to kill him.
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tendouluvr · 4 years
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aizawa calling you clingy - gn reader
- [attempt at] angst to fluff
- warnings: being called clingy, aizawa gets annoyed with reader and berates them, one use of the word ‘shit’
- wc: 1.9k
a/n: this wasnt......as sad as i wanted... i cant tell if im just not so good at writing angst or immune to it T_T
once again, not edited!
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#! aizawa!!!! eee
#! hes a levelheaded man so arguments are rare
#! u both trust one another so theres no reason to have doubts in ur relationship
#! being his s/o, he tells u things thats not so easy to tell others over time, and you’re patient enough to let him take however much time he needs to let u in
#! however, years of keeping to himself most of the time doesnt just disappear even if you’re his s/o
#! so aizawa does have this tendency to close off and distance himself from u bc of his stress and insecurities
walking through the spacious halls of ua, you were headed towards your lovely boyfriend. aizawas been pretty busy lately with teaching his class, making sure no one is being left behind progress wise, doing his job as a pro-hero, and then spending his free time training with shinsou.
you knew showing up at school unexpectedly was something aizawa found irky, that’s why you made sure to tell him the night before that you would be coming during lunch time to bring him some yummy homemade food.
humming softly to yourself, you finally reached the door opening to class 1-A and walked in. the classroom was empty, but there at the front was no one other than mr. aizawa shouta. you quickly greeted him with a smile and he turned to look at you.
“what are you doing here?” he slowly asked with a look of confusion.
“i brought you some food! did you eat yet? i hope not, i made-,” you quickly stopped talking once you noticed the look he was giving you.
“why are you here? i already told you, you shouldnt be showing up without letting me know first. our relationship is quiet, if the students see they’ll get noisy and ask questions, i’ll get bombarded by my colleagues, and it’ll put you in danger if words get out. did anyone see you coming here? can you listen to me for once instead of continuing to always be near me? you’re so damn clingy and need to start thinking about the consequences your action will bring. i already ate, just go home before anything happens.”
your jaw dropped a little after hearing what he just said to you. did he not remember what you told him last night?
worst of all, you couldnt believe he just called you clingy. you just wanted to do something nice for him by making his favorite food hoping that it’ll relieve some of the stress thats been building up, but he just thought of you as clingy.
fine, if clingy is what you are then you’ll stop bothering him. you quickly whispered an apology, not sure if he could hear or not, and began making your way back home as fast as possible. the food you made for him was still tightly grasped in your hand.
due to the new dormitories, aizawa stays at ua majority of the time. he comes home to your shared apartment whenever he can to spend time with you. unfortunately, those time aren’t usually much because as soon as he’s free, he’s quick to do something else.
once you’ve made it home, you packed the food away and put it in the fridge. you felt your phone buzzing repeatedly, already guessing who it could possibly be, you took it out to see it was your boyfriend.
shou <3: im sorry
shou <3: honey, im so sorry. pls text me back when u can
shou <3: i know what i said hurted u, but i promise u i dont mean it. pls just call me or text me so we can talk about this
shou <3: i have to go back now. but i love u. so much.
staring at your screen, you contemplated texting him back.
letting out a sigh, you decided not to.
putting your phone to the side, you walked to the bedroom and changed out of your clothes into the comfy pjs you were wearing right before you left.
seeing that there was nothing for you to do other than wallow in your insecurities and let out a few tears, you got into bed and made yourself comfortable for an afternoon nap.
aizawa on the other hand was at school and distracted. his own words kept replaying over and over in his head and all he wants to do is smack himself a few times (after comforting u ofc).
his students could tell he was in a badder mood than usual so they collectively agreed to not worsen it (one particular student does not care. can u guess?). aizawa just wanted the day to pass so he can apologize to you directly and make it up with some cuddling.
despite being distracted with planning his apology and thinking about you, he was still teaching as he should and constantly telling his students to be quiet because he’s intimidating like that.
a few hours passed, the students are back in their dorms and some of the teachers are still in school finishing up some work. the hallways were empty and silent, and the weather outside was nice and calm - not too sunny with just the right amount of wind.
however, if you were to peek your head inside of class 1-A at the moment, the environment is an exact 180. aizawa is quickly trying to grade the remaining stack of papers he has on his desk so he can leave as soon as he can. there’s papers everywhere, he’s not so sure where the answer key went off to but to hell with the answer key. he just needs to go home.
his hair is messily tied up and his lips have probably been gnawed off by now. as soon as school ended, he got out his phone to see if you replied and sadly you didn’t. he doesn’t blame you though, considering all of the shit he said to you earlier. 
finally writing down the fat score in red pen onto the final paper, he gathers everything and put to the side of his desk and packed up his stuff. his stuff being his yellow sleeping bag and that’s it.
he went to his room first to clean himself up a bit, and then grabbed a taxi to go to your shared apartment. arriving at the front door, he takes out his copy of the key and entered.
first thing he noticed while entering and taking off his shoes was that the apartment was dark and quiet. he made his way to the kitchen first and turned on its lights to check the fridge. in the fridge laid the food you made for him earlier today. he took it out to start heating it up in the microwave then he walks away from the food and to your bedroom.
quietly opening the door, he poked his head in to see you laying on your side with your back facing the door. he assumed you were asleep and gently closed the door to not wake you up. he made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. 
you, feeling the bed dip, slowly opened your eyes to be greeted with the sight of your boyfriend gingerly brushing his fingertips across your cheekbones. he notices that you’re awake and looks up to meet your eyes.
making eye contact with him, you quietly grunted and brought the blanket up to cover your face while turning your entire body to the other side to ignore him. aizawa sighed and brought his hand down to rest on your waist as he begins talking.
“yn... i know you’re.. mad at me for the things i said to you earlier, but i’m truly sorry. i know saying i didn’t mean it isn’t good enough for you to forgive me, but i want you to know i’m really really sorry. i’ve been so busy for the past few days, my head is all over the place, seeing you at school just got me overthinking and worried that i ended up saying things about you that’s not true at all. i love you so much, hun. you’re the best thing to happen to me. you don’t have to forgive me now, i understand if you want some space.”
it was silent for some time after he finished his apology. the echoing silence was slowly making aizawa worried that you’ll leave him, but he won’t tell you that. thinking that you wanted space, he lifted his shaky hand off of your waist and moved to get off of the bed when you suddenly grabbed onto his hand to keep him there.
“i...i told you the day before that i was going to be visiting you during lunch time. did you not remember? or even hear me tell you?”
aizawa situated himself back down onto the bed before replying. “if i’m being honest, i don’t really remember much of that day at all. my brain was occupied with work and rest, so i was practically drained by the end of the night. i’m sorry i took it out on you, it’s my fault for overworking when i know you’ve been trying to help.”
letting out a soft sigh, you turned your body back towards him. still holding onto his hand, you carefully slotted your fingers in between his and pulled him down to lay with you. he immediately found comfort in this and placed his head into your neck. you could feel his facial hair against your skin making you let out a quiet giggle.
“i love you. i know you have a habit to overwork since that’s all you did before we dated, but please shou, take care of yourself. im not talking physically, cuz you’re already so damn fine, but mentally. i hate seeing you bury yourself in work and training that it even makes me tired just watching you.”
he grumbled something against your neck - his usual reaction to you complimenting him - and held onto you tighter while putting light kisses on your collarbone.
“i know. i will. please bear with me, i know i’m a pain but i’ll always try to be my best for you. i’m never letting you go, love you too much for that.”
“hmm? who said i’m going? you’re stuck with me forever just so you know,” you laughed and patted his head before rising from the bed.
“i heard you heating up the food earlier. get up and come eat,” you tugged aizawa to get him off the bed.
he grumbled once again because he was being forced to leave the warm comfort of your shared bed, but followed you out anyway holding onto your hand.
“wait. you heard me entering? so you were pretending to sleep when i got here?! not funny, babe. not funny. -also don’t take sleep for granted. i did and look where that got me. stop laughing!”
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bonus:
it was the next day and aizawa just finished passing out the grades he rushed grading yesterday. even though it was rushed, he was confident that there wasn’t any mistakes-
“aizawa sensei, you marked this question wrong when it’s right. this one too. and this other one on the last page. are you trying to fail me?!” denki dramatically wailed as he showed aizawa his papers.
guess he did make mistakes after all.
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Dorm Loaders react to you having a pop it but for fidget reasons
I KNOW IM CRINGE IM SORRY - but pops help calm me down - so i thought it'd be cute for a scenario too
This version is when you are dating the dorm leaders as well as the reader is gender neutral
Riddle
Riddle was aware of the trend, he gets why but he's slightly annoyed by it
he was meeting up with you for a study date , before he approached you , he noticed your pop it
funny enough it was a strawberry one
"hah...you're into this too?" Riddle asked in a firm but slightly annoyed tone
"yeah? why ?? " you were constantly popping the bubbles
"hm? are you ok?"
"oh yeah! don't worry riddle , this is just calming me down! or keeping me calm at least- It's a fidget toy after all "
He kinda just stood there in silence, he completely forgot that's what the main purpose was
but this really opened his eyes on how anxious or fidgety you can get
"Very well, just don't make too much noise with it . "
"Aw i thought you were like the strawberry one "
He blushed a bit but quickly composed himself "Im glad you were thinking of me but- wait how many of those do you have ?"
"...." you just smiled
" y/n how many do you have - "
"............i may have over 30 - "
"WHAT-"
Leona
He's not too fond of the trend but he doesn't care either
He goes to the spot you agreed to meet up at for him to nap on you
then he sees you with a pop it
ugh...am i even gonna nap..." he begrudgingly walks over
"hey leona!" *pop*
"Please tell me you're not gonna use that damn thing while i nap .."
You looked at him but looked down 'Sorry..I'm just a bit anxious today."
His ears went down , he didn't get it , why does it evolve the pop a thingy ma bop "what does that have to do wit this..?"
"That's the original use- a pop it helps with stress and anxiety but it can help you focus too! "
He stood silent which lowkey made you more anxious
then he spoke "fine, as long as it isn't too loud, i don't care " he lays on your lap and sets himself in place
"oh ok! I think number 25th is the quietest one i have "
"*yawn* yeah ok ..."
"......you have number f**king what now..?? "
Azul
He is aware of the pop it's and actually uses it to his advantage
He actually sells them as a small bonus for certain meals
It actually is quite popular and he makes more money from it
One day , he noticed you having on but it was more unique then what he sold
"oya oya , you seem to be in this trend like the other , little pearl "
"oh yeah , i already had one before you sold them "
He seemed interested , he actually never looked into the pop its much but really used it for profit
"If you don't mind , what is the purpose of these?"
"well why everyone else usually gets them is either because of it trending , it's satisfying or just to show off but my reason is completely different
As you spoke that , he noticed how figdety your hands were getting and you were constantly popping the bubbles
"..does it relax you ? "
"Yeah and it can distract me too, it really helps !" you looked giddy
he blushed a bit, your smile was the sweetest thing to him, in fact it makes his day
"w-well..if you want , i could get you more"
you perked up " oh sweet ! even though i have like over 30 "
"that's great little pearl I'll-....30!? "
Kalim
He has his own- you can't convince me otherwise and it annoys the hell out of jamil XD
You had like over 100 because he's extra of course , one for a different occasion
When you came over for a private date in the lounge, he took notice of your pop it , it was a ring looking one
"y/n...are you proposing to me!? " he was obviously joking but he did lowkey want to marry you
"pff very cute. i just have a lot on my mind. " you popped it a little faster
that kinda threw him off guard, he thought of it as a play thing , so he was a little confused, just a smidge
"It's a nice little fidget toy..." then it clicked for him , he didn't think it was a fidget toy- now he does
"Ah i see y/n ! I'm glad it keeps you calm "
You both continue your date and you both actually played with your pop its during then
THen kalim spoke " how many do you have ?" "ah...over 30 i think?"
"ah.." Kalim looked blankly
"..t-too much?.." you seemed worried
"To much ..? " he then suddenly beamed " you mean too little! Come on I'll get you some more!! "
"HUH-"
Vil
He knows too well of this trend, he even got offered to do commercials for pop its
He was actually really annoyed by it. plus the poping gets old to him
He one day noticed you with one ,but he's not surprised
Even if he's annoyed by it , he can understand the popularity and satisfaction of it
"Ah , sweet potato..You're into this trend ?"
"Well.. I was in it before it was a trend. It just helps my fidget"
Ah. He knew you were a fidgety and anxious person but it went over his mind of the pop it being more of a fidget then a toy
still won't change his mind of how annoying they are
"i don't care if you use it but please refrain from making too much noise with it "
"hmm..I'll try but i like the sounds. " you pouted a little
He covers his face with his hand and sighs "Fine. but only for a small bit because it honestly pains me to constantly hear popping. "
"calm down , this is one of the quiest ones i own!" you smiled
"...How many do you have?"
"....mayhaps over 30"
"....."
"...."
"sweetie. My little darling. my sweet potato. you have a problem"
Idia
Of course he's in the trend and has his own , fite me
Idia kept it more lowkey then others but he really enjoys pops it and even got ortho some
SO he was happy that you had some of your own too
" ehhh! y-you have 30 !? " Idia spoke after he questioned how many you had
"it's not that bad. They're all different at least. Look at this kitty one!"
He looked in awe of the kitty pop it and held it "They have ones like this?? I thought it was just normal shapes?? "
After explaining all different shapes and varieties , Idia got excited
It was a nice time too, you both looked online to see some that you didn't have , some were cute while some were interesting
But something caught Idia's eye. "eh? what's this "
It was a pop it game board, it was just two pop its connected to a rubber board on each side
"how do you play?" he questioned
"i'm guessing you use the dice to pop the bubbles , and everytime you pop it fully you get a point? " As you point to the area that has 3 bubbles to show points
Idia was silent. Then the mouse slowly went to "add to cart "
"you're getting that for the board game club, aren't you ? "
"yep :) "
Malleus
Probably has the purest / most confused reaction
He often keeps hearing of these ..."pop its"??
He sees others with them , coming in different shapes in sizes. he almost mistakes it as like a pet
The only person he would talk to more about it, is none other than his beloved
"Dearest. could you explain to me what are these things? they're quite confusing..." HE said as he examined one of yours
"Well...you know that feeling of being anxious or highly stressed? These things can distract or calm you down, try poping some of it and see!"
He did as he was told and oddly...he enjoyed it ??
malleus kept popping it for a few minutes without saying a word, like he was in a trance
"M-malleus ?? you ok ? "
"eh? ah. i'm sorry , i got distracted. "
you giggled because he was acting so cute, especially now possibly being invested
"I'll try and get you a dragon one !"
and you could of swore that a dragon tail suddenly and he wagged it
281 notes · View notes
wheelsup · 3 years
Text
the taming of the shrew | two
if i be waspish, best beware my sting
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after some setbacks, penelope is willing to do anything to get you back on board. but has spencer already ruined things?
A/N: hello! im so sorry that this posting schedule is super inconsistent. the more i thought about this chapter, the less i liked the more technical aspects of it. but! i hope you enjoy to plot aspect of it nonetheless <3 thanks for reading!
category: fluff, slow burn series, spencer reid x fem!reader
wc: 4.4k
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Since that phone call with Penelope, she’d been over nearly every night for a week with plates of treats and onslaughts of apologies. Each time she came knocking, you told her there was no amount of persuasion that could change your mind. And yet the following night, she’d be there, a new type of pastry in hand and a new set of reasons why Spencer was worth the trouble.
First, she brought blueberry muffins and reasoned that deep below that prickly exterior, he really was everything she promised –– sweet and caring. But that must be deep, deep down. Like, The Lost City of Atlantis, deep down, because you didn’t expect it to surface any time soon. 
Then, she brought fudge brownies and explained that his behavior wasn’t personal –– he was getting snippy with everyone lately. And while you maintained that anybody would have a hard time getting along with Spencer, you were absolutely positive that it was now impossible for you. 
Quite frankly, it wasn’t just Spencer who was unwilling to play nice. You hated him. More than you’ve ever hated a stranger. 
You wished him a lifetime riddled with minor inconveniences that would drive him to the edge of insanity. You wanted him to miss all his trains by just a quarter of a minute; close enough so that he could see it leave the platform, knowing he almost made it on. You wanted him to constantly feel like he was about to sneeze. You wanted his socks to be perpetually wet, and if he should happen to put on a dry pair? You hoped he stepped in a puddle.
That was all you could think about as you laid out on your couch, munching on one of Penelope’s lemon bars while she paced around your apartment. She kept going on and on advertising Spencer to you. As annoying as it was, she was also saving you a ton on groceries that week. 
For the most part, you filtered her out. Not a single word that came out of her mouth was believable anymore, especially not when she was talking about Spencer. Despite what Penelope thought of him, you saw in him what she refused to accept. 
As her speech came to a close, she looked at you like she expected a response to dignify her prattling. 
“Give it a rest, Penelope. He’s a lost cause,” you laughed dryly. “He doesn’t need –– nor does he want –– anyone in his life.” At the very least, he definitely didn’t want you. 
“Yes, that’s the problem!” If you’d been listening to her, you would’ve heard her saying the same thing. “He doesn’t want to date!” 
Your head just about exploded when she said that. 
There had been countless, fruitless conversations about this, and all along she saw the gaping hole in her supposedly airtight plan?
“If he doesn’t want to DATE, then WHAT was the point of this?!” Your fingers pressed the bridge of your nose; you suddenly felt a headache coming on. Funny how it always happened around the time of day that Penelope came to visit.
Penelope stopped pacing. She stalked over to your couch, picked your legs up by your ankle, and moved them to make space for herself. You begrudgingly sat upright as she took her place beside you. 
“Because he’s not himself anymore. He’s not open like he used to be. Not to the people who care about him the most, and certainly not to the world.”  
Penelope toyed with the hem of her dress, distracting herself from her quivering lip before pressing on, “Spencer Reid has always wanted love. And it’s not right that he no longer believes he can have it.” 
You hadn’t seen Penelope look so desperate until now. It was concerning. Because what could make her look so hopeless? What could make Spencer so hopeless? 
“Penelope, I don’t know what’s wrong with your little friend, but… there’s a lot more bubbling inside him than you’re letting on.” 
She chewed up the insides of her cheeks, wincing to herself at your incredibly accurate claim. 
“You are hiding something, aren’t you?” You narrowed your eyes on her. You were no detective, or whatever exactly her team did, but she was just awful at concealing her thoughts.
“It’s not my story to tell,” she murmured. 
She could already feel herself about to give it away and doubled down her mental defenses against it. Focusing extra hard on keeping Spencer’s privacy intact. If only you knew her track record with secrets, you’d be proud of her for staying quiet this long.
“What isn’t your story?” 
“That his girlfriend died last year.” 
She spilled it before she even realized what she was saying. You’d just asked so nonchalantly that she forgot she was talking aloud. Penelope turned purple, terrified now that the whole truth was out there. 
You couldn’t even take satisfaction in the fact that your trick worked. You were just as mortified as Penelope, and if you weren’t already sitting down, you knew you’d need to. You assumed there was something deeper going on with him, you didn’t think it was a dead girlfriend. That was some Nicholas Sparks shit. 
“He pretends like he’s fine but I know he’s not. And if he found a way to move on, maybe he’d start feeling as okay as he claims to be,” she sniffled before snot could run from her nose, tears lining the rims of her eyes. “I know I should’ve given you the full picture, but I didn’t think you’d go for it if you knew…” 
You were too floored to process it all right away. This added a whole new layer of complicated to an already uneasy arrangement.
“Well, I know you’re right about one thing. I would’ve said no.” 
She gave you a set of pleading eyes, praying you’d see where she was coming from. 
“I know,” she whispered defeatedly. “But maybe... now that you know, you can understand why he acts out the way he does.”
“Penelope, I can’t just… make someone move on, or –– or get them to believe in love! Especially when it’s fake.”
How on Earth did she expect you to pull that off? Did that guy from A Walk to Remember move on when Mandy Moore died? You hadn’t seen the ending of the movie, but you assumed not. 
“I’m sorry, this is just… a lot bigger than the favor I thought it was ––”
“What if I could return it?” she cut in. The gears in her head started to turn, figuring ways to patch up the holes she made. 
“There’s nothing I need from you.” 
That couldn’t be true. Penelope looked around the room and it didn’t take her long to think of it.
“I can help you sell your art,” she tempted, gesturing to the scattered canvases. “You make all your income from this, right?” 
You didn’t want to give any fuel to her fire, but you nodded. “What if… what if you didn’t have to settle for local buyers? What if I told you that you could make way more money selling them to the whole world?”
You chortled at her idea. 
You were a local artist, through and through. Your art got put in local galleries and sold to local buyers. Nothing more, and that was fine with you. You realized it a long time ago that it was just a pipe dream to think you’d be more. 
“I’m serious! You could get a separate painting studio, and stop living in one? Huh?” She wrapped her hand around your shoulder, waving the other in the air, urging you to picture it with her. “Imagine this: a kitchen that’s separate from your living room. A bed, inside it’s own four walls, and more than twelve feet from where you cook your meals.”
Pushing aside her so blatantly insulting your apartment, if that were a possibility, you’d want nothing more. But it already sounded foolish and you hadn’t even heard how she planned to pull it off. 
“Penelope, I’m fine where I am. I make the money I need, and that’s... it’s fine.”
She gave you a pointed look. “You know, I can hack all search engine results to make sure you are what comes up first anytime someone enters the word ‘painting’, right?
An airy chuckle left your lips. Of course she could. You patted her thigh twice and stood up, prompting her to follow you to your door –– hopefully, so she can show herself to the other side of it. “Still no, Pen.” 
“Just take some time to think about it!” Her voice carried through the wood as you shut it on her.
*
There was this one bench in Kenilworth Park – the one that overlooks the crystal clear pond – that you’d always been able to rely on to fix any problem.
There was hidden magic in the bushes that sprawled out from the edges of the water, surrounded by spiky green blades of overgrown grass. A simplicity you loved in baby ducklings paddling into the tiny body of water, swimming close together so they don’t get lost in, what seems to them, a whole ocean. And clarity provided by the freshest air in the world, under the shade of the big oak trees on a late summer afternoon.
But at the present, none of that came close to being enough.
The artist’s block started off as a minor inconvenience, but without your permission, had stretched into weeks of steadily declining motivation. Each new idea felt even worse than the last, and you were acutely aware that there would come a point where you’d officially hit maximum capacity for how awful they could get.
Still, that didn’t seem to light a fire under you. You happily coexisted with the blank pages of your sketchbook. Staring down at them, laying open on your lap in their stark-white glory, you felt like you were playing a waiting game. If you stared long and hard enough, maybe they’d flinch. 
Unfortunately, you never got to find out who won, because your phone rang inside your pocket. As if the caller had interrupted an incredible genius at work (which couldn’t be farther from the truth), you hastily raised the phone to your ear, slamming your sketchbook shut.
“Hello?” Your voice wasn’t as kind as it could be for someone with nothing better to be doing. Two seconds later, you learned who was calling and came to regret it.
“Hi, This is Rebecca from District Arts, calling with a message from Andre ––”
“Oh, hi!” you tried to walk back your previous tone, straightening up in your seat and pitching your voice higher, “Yeah, I’ve been waiting to hear from him!” 
While Rebecca intimidated you, Andre happened to be your closest friend at the gallery. He worked closely with the artists to curate their collection and help them make sales. 
“Does he want to sort out what to set the opening bid prices at for my new pieces?” A handful of days ago, you sent him pictures of your new work and were waiting to hear his thoughts. You’d always been able to trust his opinion, and a vote of confidence from him might be just the thing to inspire you.
“Uhm…” There was a criminally long pause on the other side of the line, ended by Rebecca’s weary inhale. “Unfortunately, we’re calling to inform you that your pieces will not be included in the next rotation.”
For a minute, you weren’t sure what to make of what she said. You’d never heard those words before.
“What – what do you mean?” you laughed nervously. She probably misspoke. Perks of friendship aside, Andre always included you in sets. 
“Ugh, let me just get him…” her voice faded away as she put the phone down. 
That wasn’t exactly the reassuring statement you were looking for. In the time it took for the call to switch hands, your confusion finally melted in. And then quickly boiled into anger.
The District Arts gallery changed their entire collection every two months. The pieces shown accepted rolling bids throughout the full eight weeks, finally selling at the end of term to their highest offer. After that, the pieces got taken down, sent to happy new owners, and the entire gallery reset with entirely new works. 
So if you missed one rotation, that meant waiting two months to get back in.
“Andre, how am I just cut from the gallery!” you barked before he could get a word in. If he didn’t like your work, he could’ve just said so. 
“No one said that ––”
“Okay, let me rephrase.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, something you found yourself doing quite frequently lately, and took a deep breath in and out. It was seemingly just for show because it did absolutely nothing to calm you down. “Why wouldn’t you put me in the next set? I’m in all of them!”
“I know you are!” He sounded just as upset. “It’s just that… we give you the biggest space we have, because you always manage to fill it up. But this time… I’m not so sure you can.”
“That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed. “What makes you say that?” You asked that, but you knew.
“You’ve only finished three pieces… I’m worried how you’ll deliver seven more before we set up.”
“But… it’s four weeks away, I could do ––”
“And it took you four weeks to make what you have... I’m sorry. We couldn’t take that gamble.” 
He took your silence as an opportunity to turn off the work talk and speak, just friend to friend. 
“You know that I trust you and I’d hold that spot if I could. But, I also know what you’re going through right now, and… I don’t know, maybe letting yourself rest would be a good thing?” 
Your heart paused. By, “knowing what you’re going through”, you assumed he didn’t mean the little artist’s block.
“If you’re implying that I can’t do my job because of what happened with Cyrus –”
“I’m not, I’m not....” he backtracked as quickly as he could. “But take another look at the paintings you showed me and tell me if they feel like you.”
Even if he was right, you wanted to fight him. You wanted to cry. You wanted to beg that you didn’t need that big space; you were willing to downsize and just turn in the three that you had. Even if they got shoved into the corner where hardly anybody bothered to look. You just couldn’t afford to go two months without the income. 
But even with tears beading up, you realized that the gallery couldn’t afford it either. They needed to bring in money and you couldn’t do that for them this time. So they were right to go to someone who can.
“Right,” you sniffled, recollecting yourself so he can’t hear the shakiness in your voice. “I understand. It’s a big risk, like you said… It’s for the better.”
Andre tried to thank you for being understanding and spewed some sort of encouragement. The words flew over your head. You managed to toss in a few ‘mhmm’s and ‘sure’s at the right places to coast you along until the call finally ended. 
As soon as it went dead, you dropped your phone to the side and brought your hands to your face, rubbing them furiously over your cheeks. Your fingertips pressed hard into your eyelids, trying to forcibly reabsorb the tears threatening to spill. 
It almost worked, until you tried to breathe. 
A full sob escaped in that one gulp of air and you succumbed to it. But the loud crunching noise of some pedestrian walking over the falling leaves destroyed your sense of privacy, and you quickly wiped away all signs of your breakdown. The crunching stopped just short of your bench and on instinct you flicked your eyes up to see who the intruder was.
You did a double take. It was him. That fucking asshole.
He was standing there, looking dumber than you could even remember, with his hands in his coat pockets and a curious look on his face as he watched you cry. Tucking your sketchbook under your arm in haste, you made it a point to stand up with as much aggression as possible, rolling your eyes at him.
“Don’t worry, I’m leaving,” you barked. “No need to yell at me this time.”
You bristled past him, barely refraining yourself from checking his shoulder as payback. You wanted to believe you were better than him, but it did sound incredibly tempting. He stood there for a moment before turning on his heel and following you.
“Wait,” he groaned.
You didn’t listen, neither stopping nor slowing down.
“I said wait,” he huffed as he caught up to you, popping up at your side and jogging along as you kept going.
“Yeah, because I need to listen to a guy who yells at strangers in bookstores.” 
Now that you’d brought up the elephant in the room, your feet started moving even faster, working double time to get you away from him.
Damn the fact that he had those long legs. He didn’t even break a sweat trying to keep up. He was inescapable.
“Well, if you waited like I asked, you would’ve gotten an apology for the ––”
“Gee, thanks!” you yelled, stopping for only a second to turn to him and give him a mocking bow of your head, hands clasped together like you were praising at his altar. “I was waiting with bated breath for that! Thank you, kind sir, for now my life can go on.”
“Look, I’m actually sorry,” he snapped. Then in realizing the irony, softened his voice, “I’m sorry for being rude. I was having a bad day… not that that’s an excuse.”
You stared at him blankly, just watching his mouth moving quickly and waiting until it finally stopped. 
“Did you need something?” 
“Did you… did you not hear what I just said?!” 
“No, sorry,” you smiled, voice sweet like sugar. “My ears filter bullshit. Wanna try again?”
He scoffed, looking away like he couldn’t believe you before stepping even closer. “What’s your problem?”
“Me!? The fuck –– what the fuck is your problem?” You turned and stormed off again, seething at his audacity. Spencer just couldn’t relent his annoying tendencies and followed yet again.
“My problem is that I’m trying to be nice, and you’re not letting me!”
You got a good, hard laugh out of that. “Okay, first of all, having to apologize for yelling at me and pushing me isn’t exactly the best starting point for the journey of becoming a nice person.”
“Like I said, I was having a bad day.” 
Under your breath, you muttered, “Well, I hope this one’s even worse.”
“Why are you such a ––” He stopped himself from finishing that thought. Even in his worst mood, he wouldn’t cross that line. 
But he didn’t need to finish it, you knew exactly where he wanted to take it. The soles of your shoes scraped against the loose gravel as you came to a grinding halt, ears ringing.
“A what?” You turned to face him, a sarcastic smile on your face growing wider as he started to shrink more and more. You got up close in his face, daring him to say what he really wanted to. So he could reinforce your belief in exactly the type of person he was. “A what?” 
Spencer pursed his lips and shook his head, refusing to say it no matter how much you challenged him. If he wasn’t going to have the balls to say it, you decided to take it upon yourself.
“Tell you what, you keep thinking about it and get back to me the next time you’re in a cunty mood.” 
The word he was thinking of was probably not as bad, but you had a habit of escalating things. Even if you took this one too far, you didn’t care. 
Before you tried to take off again, Spencer’s hand flew to your elbow. He tugged you back, forcing you to turn around and face him. He didn’t know his own strength; without any resistance, you came stumbling into his chest, at risk of falling over if it weren’t for his tight grip on your arm.
It took you a beat to push him away with both your hands on his chest, vocalizing your disgust for being so close to him. 
“Can you stop trying to disagree with me for a second? I’m trying to tell you that you’re right, I was being a… well, you know…” He avoided the word. Apparently ‘cunt’ was where he drew the line. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve it.” 
Your nostrils were still flared and blood hot as ever, but he made you pause. He looked sincere, if not a little tinged with guilt as well. You were suspicious of it.
“You saw me crying and felt bad, didn’t you?”
He laughed darkly. “Well, I saw you, yes. Did I feel bad? No.” 
“Oh, my God,” you growled, berating yourself for getting close to believing he might be capable of decency. 
“I’m joking! I’m joking.” He squeezed your elbow twice in earnest. “I did feel bad, but that’s not why I wanted to say it.”
“Okay.” You weren’t ready to give him a real smile, so you flattened your lips into a thin line and nodded once slowly, and left it at that. 
You still weren’t a fan, but the apology did dampen some of the resentment. Maybe he wasn’t the worst person alive. You’d settle for saying top ten most annoying, instead.
Minutes later, you came to the startling realization that he was still on the path, just two paces behind you. You flinched when you saw him out of the corner of your eye, not expecting him to still be here. 
“Uhm. Where are you… why are you still following me?” 
“I’m not. My car’s that way,” he gestured to the parking lot at the end of the long walkway. “I forgot my loaf for the ducks.” He didn’t mean to offer that information up, it just slipped out. He could practically see your smug expression coming before it even got there.
“You’re not supposed to feed bread to the ducks. It’s bad for them.”
“I don’t.” He didn’t care to explain this to you, but he couldn’t have you thinking he was any less competent than he really was. “It’s a special bread made from water and seeds that were ground into flour. It’s duck-safe.” 
“They make duck-safe bread?” Now that was something you’d never heard before. 
“No… I make duck-safe bread,” he said softly under his breath. 
You didn’t know how else you were supposed to react to that besides laughing wildly. 
“You make it?” He nodded like you were the crazy one here. As if he wasn’t the one spending his spare time grinding up seeds and baking loaves of bread for ducks, donning a frilly pink apron and oven mitts as he did so. At least that’s how you imagined it. “Why not just feed them the seeds?”
“Because, loose seeds will sink in the water and can potentially clog waterbeds and cause foreign bacteria growth in the pond.” 
“So you… hand-make the seeds into a little loaf of bread so it doesn't do that?”
He confirmed. You pondered silently for a moment, then absolutely had to ask, “You ever eaten the duck bread before?”
Spencer was caught off guard by that question. His cheeks deepened to a rosy color.
“Yeah, well, it was the house so…” he laughed nervously and stared at his sneakers. “It’s actually not too bad.”
You weren’t entirely surprised by that. You remembered what his grocery basket looked like, and given those same options, you probably would’ve tried the duck bread too. Still, you cracked the smallest of grins at knowing he makes bread for ducks. The one, sole redeeming fact you’ve learned about Spencer. 
You reached your car first, and Spencer stopped in front of it with you. 
“I’m actually sorry, you know,” he whispered once more, hand resting at the top of your car door as you opened it. He wasn’t talking about the incident at the bookstore.
“Yeah…” For a while you were so busy being angry at Spencer that you forgot about your own problems. 
He noticed your nose was still red around the edges, eyes still a little bleary. “Are you okay, by the way?” His voice was too soft, too genuine.
You shook your head no.
“Is there anything I can do?” You shook your head again. And then you had an awful thought.
You knew he was just offering to help just to say it, because that’s how people react when you say you’re not okay even if they don’t care. But there actually was something he could do for you… Something that Penelope could do.
“Uh, no but…” you fixed your hair and tucked it behind your ear, seamlessly switching to a flirtier voice. “If you still feel bad about the other day, you’re welcome to make it up to me.”
Spencer cocked his head to the side, unsure of how he could do that. 
“Hang out with me sometime.”
“H-hang out?” You could tell that it flustered him, even if he tried to play it off. He swallowed thickly, nose twitching and brows scrunched together.
“Relax, I really do just mean hang out.” You were lying through your teeth. He didn’t need to know that. 
As if he didn’t want to think about it for a second longer and just get out of this conversation as quickly as possible, he agreed without thinking it through. He didn’t even ask why an almost complete stranger would want to hang out with him. 
You stuck your hand out, expecting him to hand over his cell so you could put your contact into it. He rocked on the balls of his feet, watching as you input your contact and sent yourself a text on his phone.
“Hi, this is…” you read out your message as you typed, pausing at just the right place. “What’s your name by the way?”
“Oh-uh, I’m Spencer.” 
A devilish grin took over your face, hidden from his view while you were looking down at the screen. He was going to be easy to fool.
-
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agh! im still not in love with how this chapter is turning out, but it came to a point where i just had to stop fiddling with it and just post it. any feedback or comments about this story is very much appreciated 💕
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if you’d like to join, the link is at the top of my masterlist
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series only taglist: @madsgraygubler @manuosorioh @fanfictionfangirl04@donkeykongsmassiveballs @rexorangecouny​ @iwannabemorethanme@mlqcool @lightning-butterfly
new tags not working: @strawberrycherrykisses @marrymespencerreid @iilwsr @chelsea-the-enchanted @craybae1116
(and just so you don’t think i removed you from the taglist/sign up again without knowing, these tags are. also not working): @pissbit @redevil590 @kaz-2y567 @datsimplol @reid-to-me @rem-ariiana @thegirlinthedresscriedalltheway @jaddi-e @spencerswildestdreams1 @sskylarpaige26 @zbgubler @nyasiablack1899 @faithsamantha @chrisdylan17 @just_arandomwriter @peterisbetterthanpietro @thegirlinthedresscriedalltheway @jaddi-e @chloehanson
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queenshelby · 3 years
Text
Roommates – Part Fourteen
Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader
Words: 1,580
Warning: Fluff
Note: This plays in 2020. It’s all fiction and not based on Cillian’s real life and family.
It has been a week since Cillian found out about Laura’s lie and, as expected, it took him some time to come to terms with it. Whilst, on one hand, he was relieved that she wasn’t pregnant after all he had been through with her, he was also somewhat disappointed by it. After all, he had been looking forward to finally becoming a father after him and his ex-wife Lindsay went through IVF for many years unsuccessfully.  
Luckily for him, you knew that he was struggling and you were there to pick up the pieces and support him through this horrible initial week after he had found out.
Unfortunately for you, Laura had also since found out that you were involved with Cillian and ceased the opportunity to seek revenge which, for some reason, she still thought she was entitled to. Her friendship with most of your mutual friends had been destroyed after it was found out what she did. But this wasn’t your fault you thought. It was hers alone.
After sending you at least ten text messages, telling you how you were the most horrible person who had ever walked this earth, she informed James and most of your other friends and Cillian’s family about your relationship with Cillian in order to get them to turn on you instead of her.
As a result, James kept calling, messaging and emailing you constantly and you ran out of options on how to block him after he obtained several new phone numbers and email addresses so that he could harass you, thinking that you had been involved with Cillian for years.
As for your family and friends, you found it difficult to explain to them that there was only some truth to what Laura was saying. You tried hard to make clear to them that you were not in a relationship with Cillian and it was Cillian’s mother herself who didn’t take your and her son’s explanations serious.
‘I think my mother is set on the idea that we are together’ Cillian chuckled as he handed you the invitation to her 70th birthday which specifically mentioned you as his plus one.
‘She told me about it already. She also enquires about your wellbeing on a daily basis, darling. Apparently, you aren’t very forthcoming to her about your feelings. Luckily, her birthday not until after Christmas’ you laughed.
You had always gotten along well with Cillian’s mother since you met her almost ten years ago.
‘I am not sure if I should be more amused by the fact that my mother talks to you more often than to me or that she thinks that we will be out of lockdown by January next year’ Cillian then said, smiling before offering you a cup of tea.
‘Well, you know your mum and I get on like a house on fire, sweetheart’ you then joked before approaching Cillian and kissing him gently.
You didn’t usually kiss. Kissing was only to initiate sex which you have had plenty off over the past week even while Cillian was feeling rather depressed about what happened.
You knew that sex would get his mind of the pain Laura had caused him and you were more than willing to distract him from all the madness in his life.
In turn, sex led to you sharing a bed and, since you had sex every night and sometimes even during the day, you pretty much slept in the same room continuously for weeks on end. Sometimes you would stay in Cillian’s room while, on other nights, he would come to yours. It was almost like musical chairs.
But tonight, this was all about to change as, in the morning, you had just gotten your first period since you started being intimate with each other.
As such, you quickly apologised for the kiss you had just given him to ensure that he wouldn’t get the wrong idea about your intentions.
‘Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to initiate anything. I was just sneaking in a cheeky little kiss’ you said somewhat embarrassed as you quickly pulled away from the kiss.
‘No period sex then I suppose?’ Cillian joked, knowing very well that this was off the table for you even though he had explained to you that it wouldn’t bother him.
‘Absolutely not Cillian’ you giggled before reaching for some more of the pain killers on the kitchen counter.
‘Well, if you change your mind tonight, you know where my bedroom is’ Cillian winked and you couldn’t help but shake your head in disgust.
‘Trust me Cilly, I won’t’ you chuckled.
‘Alright then. No sex tonight. Got it’ Cillian chuckled before offering you to fill up your hot water bottle. ‘How about I fill this up for you, we have some wine, order some pizza and watch a movie?’ Cillian suggested as he took the hot water bottle from you.
‘That would be nice’ you said, smiling and wanting to kiss him again, but refraining from doing so for obvious reasons. You reminded yourself that you weren’t more than friends with benefits, regardless of the rumours out there which Laura had spread.
***
Half an hour later, you finally settled in the living room with your hot water bottle and two glasses of red wine.
Being so close to Cillian and unable to be intimate with him bothered you and you could see that it bothered him too as he tried hard to keep his hands to himself.
Occasionally, you felt his hand brush over the top of your cotton pants and then move away quickly as if he was a shy little school boy who was doing something naughty and who thought you wouldn’t notice.
It was strange, the fact that you both only ever showed affection towards each other while, before or after you were having sex. But then again, of course, it was normal considering your arrangement. You were friends and, if kissing wouldn’t turn you both on so incredibly much, you probably wouldn’t even be doing that in the bedroom.
But even just in that moment, where he was sitting next to you and was watching a movie with you, you wanted to kiss him desperately and a kiss was all you wanted.
You felt the urge to snuggle up against him and rest your head against his chest but you thought that this also would be inappropriate you restrained yourself from it for the remainder of the evening.
***
At around 10 o’clock, you finally called it a night. You were tired and exhausted and needed a good nights’ sleep.
Unfortunately for you, sleep was something you struggled with and it was when you lay in your bed for an hour, tossing and turning with your eyes wide open, that you realised what was missing.
It was the warmth which would normally radiate from Cillian’s body when you cuddled up against him and it was the scent of his skin you breathed in when laying in his arms.
Even if you couldn’t be intimate with him, you wanted to be near him, kiss him and cuddle him and feeling this way about him wasn’t something you were prepared for.
***
Little did you know that you weren’t the only one craving this kind of closeness and non-sexual intimacy. Cillian also was laying on his bed, restless and unable to sleep, realising that something was missing.
He adored the smell of your hair and the softness of your skin pressed against his. He loved spooning against you while you held his arms tight as he wrapped them around you.
He also loved the little sounds you were making in your dreams when there was clearly something pleasurable on your mind.
He soon realised that his efforts to simply fall asleep like this on his own were going to be futile and he decided to get himself another glass of water from the kitchen and settle with a book until he would be tired enough to go back to bed and try again.
***
‘Still up?’ Cillian asked as he walked into the kitchen and saw you filling up your hot water bottle again.
‘I can’t sleep’ you pouted while moving aside and allowing Cillian to fill up his glass.
‘Me neither’ Cillian then said before making a suggestion which could possibly change that.
‘Do you…uhm…want company…in bed?’ Cillian then shuddered somewhat reluctantly.
‘Cillian, I am not going to have sex with you, I told you that’ you said somewhat amused by the fact that he was still trying to convince you otherwise.
‘I didn’t mean for us to have sex Y/N’ Cillian then explained and your eyes widened immediately.
‘So, you mean just us sharing a bed to sleep?’ you asked confused, causing Cillian to nod.
‘Just to sleep and maybe kiss…if you want to’ Cillian said almost shyly.
‘Just kissing?’ you asked again, unsure about his motives.
‘Just kissing’ Cillian confirmed.
 Tag List:
@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @ @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​
@peaky-cillian​
@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​  
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stylistiquements · 4 years
Text
𝓦𝓗𝓐𝓣 𝓘𝓕  it never happened
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The stream started some time in the afternoon. Rae sat in front of you while you were behind the camera. You greeted everyone as you would usually do. She looked at you, giving you a sweet smile, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes as the thought of how you ended up on this unexpected live stream hit you.
“Yeah, I arrived at y/n’s house this morning and the trip was fine thank you.” All you remember was that feeling you got when you saw her crossing your front door and how it finally felt like home. She looked the same as she did when she left. Her long brown hair floated freely on her back and she had a smile that radiated as intensely as the sun, lightning everything it touched. She hugged you and you squeezed her tight, embracing all the warmth she had to offer. It was that exact moment that made you realize how much you had missed her. Living in different states was something you grew accustomed to since Rae had to move for work and, of course, your buffoneries on twitter.com was a major distraction from the monotony of not having her around, but it just wasn’t the same. 
The chat was already going full speed mode, packed with the redundant questions about how you and Rae met, about how you became friends, about your age so on and so forth ...
Rae thought it would be fun, so you let her have it. You couldn’t refuse anything to her, and she knew how to use it. Yet, you knew pretty much for sure that it would go wrong at some point. Don’t they call you the chaotic sisters anyway ? Must be for some reason.
You told yet another time the story of how Rae showed up uninvited at your 12th birthday party and how she never left. “Must be my toxic trait” she grinned as she rolled her chair  back and forth on your wooden floor. “Being so attracted to me ?”, “Being your best friend” she continued with a muffled laugh. I see the shade is fantastic today. 
Rae saw how nervous you were before the stream started as you couldn’t stop shaking your legs. Maybe it was because you were afraid of someone spotting your reflection on a piece of furniture, or maybe it was because the thought of seeing Corpse in the chat made your heart sink into your chest. Oh, you hated that. You hated the idea of conceding even the smallest victory to that man and yet that heart kept racing when thinking that he might be watching you at this very moment.
 “Hey Sykkuno is here, y/n ! Hi Sykkuno”. It was pretty surprising to know that he was here, but only seemed fair since that boy was always so nice and supportive. 
Is there gonna be a face reveal someday ?
What’s your zodiac sign ? 
Every time this question popped up in the chat, you had to resist the urge to pop in front of the camera and be like hey guys that’s me ! Can you guys like fucking leave me alone now ? Honestly, this type of question had always annoyed you on a different level. However these days, for some reason, you understood them better. It might be because, in a way, you were really curious about Corpse’s appearance too. “Oh my god you guys need to chill” you said with an amused tone “I don’t want to reveal my face I look too good for any of you guys”. “Imagine being that delusional” you both looked at each other and grimaced childishly. It seemed like a new thing you were doing as it never happened before. Well, grimacing at your screen seemed pretty useless anyway. “Zodiac is classified information because you guys would just bully me if I told you.” you chuckled. “See ... my own toxic trait is that when I started to do astrology researches, it was meant as a joke but it keeps getting more and more serious with every day so that’s hum ... concerning”.
I have a question for y/n.
Rae glanced quickly at you when she realized it was Corpse. “Oh hi Corpse, ask your question” she said with a big naughty smirk on her lips. However, it faded away as soon as her eyes focused on the chat before growing bigger and slier. 
Why is y/n not simping for me ?
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“Are you really not focused on the movie because it’s not twilight ?” Rae said as she paused the movie. “Is it about Corpse’s thingy.” You shook your head. It should have been that, why weren’t you that flustered about what happened ? Corpse just played a 666 IQ move Among us style on you and yet that wasn’t even troubling you. Rae stared at you for a moment. It was a thing she loved doing when you weren’t talking enough to her taste. “Alright fine, I’ll tell you” you sighted as you closed the distance on the couch. “I keep thinking about what someone said on the chat I don’t know why it just stuck with me. They said what if Corpse never killed you first in Among us? What would have happened ?” 
Rae looked at you with incredulous eyes, scouting your face to see if the answer she was looking for was in your eyes before giving you that “and ....” look. “I don’t know Rae it’s just a question. Like it’s weird and useless, but I was just wondering if he would have noticed me.”
༘✶ ⋆。˚ ⁀➷˚ ༘✶ ⋆。˚ ⁀➷˚ ༘✶ ⋆。˚ ⁀➷˚ ༘✶ ⋆。˚ ⁀➷˚ ༘✶ ⋆。˚ ⁀➷˚ ༘ ⁀➷
Masterlist | Previous | Next 
A/N : Hi everyone ! I’m sorry this one took a little longer than usually but I had such a hard time writing it ! I don’t know why but this one feels different from the other and I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not 🤔 I started posting little blurbs on the side of What if. Mostly things that I thought about when writing the serie but maybe too ✨angsty ✨. I hope you’ll still like it. As always, feel free to comment anything you’d want to say or see so I can improve. Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)
𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻  : @majasophieanna ; @bellomi-clarke ; @ravenclawbb​ ; @letsloveimagines ; @princezukohere ; @siriuslystupid ; @thefangirl05 ; @takoyakiuchiha ; @makeithotlikefire ; @oi-itsemily ; @scarletserena ; @lovelysmp ; @awkwardangelthings ; @liljennyx3 ; @newestro ; @youretheonlyonewhomakesme ; @acciowilltolive ; @k-jrose ; @evans-dejong ; @mirahg ; @a-dot-dev ; @just-a-stan ; @mcntsee ; @fanworrior ; @dumbnojutsu ; @livie-bug82108 ; @lunariasilver ; @whenpugzfly ; @jades-bullshit ; @empress-chesire ; @im-your-possession ; @tiaamberxx ; @peteysgf ; @adanagie ; @lochness-butmakeitsexy ; @hwangful ; @koushiskitten ; @butterfly-skinnylegend ; @s1llygoose ; @cherry-piee ; @nikanikabitch ; @littlemaladaptivedaydreamer ; @darlingkuroo ; @moneybagmgk ; @captain-willowwitch ;
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lovely-keii · 4 years
Text
Haikyuu Boys After Your Break Up
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Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou, Tsukishima Kei, Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, Akaashi Keiji
Angst
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Kuroo Tetsurou
after your break up he buried himself in his work
he piled up all his work and took extra shifts
all to distract himself from the fact that he lost you
he tried to fill the hole you left with work, but it was just never the same
he couldn’t remember if it really felt this way before you
he put on the radio and tried to block off all the incessant thoughts swarming his head
he was focused on his papers; reading, writing, signing, and repeat
until the song started playing
it was both of your song when you were still together
he froze in place and his mind went blank
just the words coming to tear his heart apart
and then he remembers your voice
and it suddenly is all he can hear
“Tetsu, I know that you’re asleep, but I really just need to say it. I feel like I’m the only one in this relationship. You work so much, and I barely get to spend time with you anymore. Do you not love me anymore? Alright, good night. I love you.”
You were gone
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Tsukishima Kei
for the most part, he seems to be unbothered
his days go on as usual
after you break up, the only thing that seems to change is your presence
he goes to all his classes, goes on his normal route, and acts normal
was it always like this? were you never that big of a part in his life? did it even matter?
it did
it did, because his heart hurt a lot more than usual
and he cried a lot more than usual
not that anyone would know, of course
it’s just back to him and himself, alone
the door in his heart used to be closed, but after you left, it became locked
not that anyone noticed, i mean who else would try to open the door
was it always like this without you?
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Oikawa Tooru
“he was oikawa tooru, who were you anyway?”
he used his ego to push it aside
he didn’t need you, he only needed to play volleyball
“what made you think you were so important?”
his entire lifed turned upside down when you left
he cried every night, he overworked himself, and he barely slept
and when it hit him
he just kept crying
one day he was in the grocery store
his hand wavered in front of a drink
a drink you always asked him to get for you
but now he had no reason to get it anymore, did he? 
you didn’t need him to buy it anymore
he walked to the cashier
the drink in his cart
maybe it was all a dream and you’d be there waiting for him?
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Iwaizumi Hajime
it was like he’d forgotten what life was
when you left, so did a part of him
a small part of his innocence left the day you did, and it broke him
when you pull the wrong piece from a jenga tower, the entire thing will fall
and his world collapsed, crumbled right in front if his eyes
every now and then, you’d get a voicemail from him
it didn’t matter what you did with it, he couldn’t stop himself
he just missed you so much
he needed you back
or maybe he just needs you to take with you the pain you left with him
why would you want hurt him?
did he make a mistake, because he can fix it
he’ll do anything to fix it
where did he mess up
just come back
nothing was ever going to be the same anymore
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Akaashi Keiji
“ah! keiji!”
“y/n?”
“how have you been?”
“oh, im doing fine”
after the break up, you two went seperate ways
he missed you a lot, but he never tried to call you back
he knew that he needed to get his life back together so he cut you off
it wasnt like he made a wrong move but maybe he did
now that he was doing alright, maybe you and him could get back together?
“y/n, would you like to-”
“MOMMY!”
“ah, sorry keiji! my kids are calling me, i hope you have a great time!”
“oh, you go ahead then, y/n”
maybe he did make a mistake
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loousir · 3 years
Text
(Vampire Story) Chapter Two
Masterlist | Prev. Part | Next Part
All characters depicted are 18+
Warnings: Mention of the v-card word, mention of crazy ex and reader being bi, reader being watched
-------------------------------------------------------------
The day went on with little incident and otherwise nothing happening. Minimal assignments, everyone was just getting used to the atmosphere of the new highschool year. Lunch for Kai was a different story.
---Kai's P.O.V.---
Kai sighed as he walked out to one of the courtyards that he was told held the cherry tree Darian mentioned. He looked around for a moment and observed the area, spotting the blonde who had invited him. Darian had seemed to find Kai as well, waving him over.
Kai took the spot next to Darian who was looking around for someone. "So, Kai, what brings you to this school?" He asked, looking up to him after. Kai shrugs, not wanting to say the real reason why he was here. "My parents moved here recently and this is the closest place to my house." That was a flat out lie but he seemed to buy it.
"You know, there aren't many guys like us here. Why wouldn't your parents move to a, oh, I dunno, a not human territory?" Kai shrugged. "No clue, they never tell me whats going on in their life anyways." That was true, Kai is always left in the dark when it comes to why he's sent to do things but once he saw you, he knew why they sent him to this school.
"Look, I don't really wanna talk about my family." He said, pushing his hair back slightly. Darian raises his hands a bit as to say he wouldn't press anymore after the aggressive response. "Anyways, I saw you staring at (Y/n) in the gym this mornings." Kai looks over to him with a skeptical glare.
"He's a virgin."
Kai raises his brows slightly. "What?" Darian rolls his eyes. "Probably in the way you're thinking but not what I meant. He's not marked and has never been drank from. And as far as I'm concerned, he's single." Kai "ohs" softly before seeing you walking along side Andy. You looked over and saw him too, offering a small wave and a smile. Kai returned the gesture.
Good to know he's available.
Darian seems distracted as Kai kept his eyes on you. You and Andy had sat down under one of the weeping willows to eat lunch together. "Darian, are there any other vampires in this town?" Kai asked, looking over to the blonde. Darian nods and locks eyes with Kai. "There's a few. Be careful about them, they aren't exactly here to play nice." He pauses and texts something on his phone.
"And be careful with (Y/n). Im pretty sure he's got some eyes on him that aren't yours." Kai nods and thanks Darian for the warnings. Lunch had passed pretty quickly, Kai asking Darian for more "need to know" information. But of course, things had to be cut short as the bell rang, saying lunch was over.
---(Y/n)'s P.O.V.---
You sighed and fiddled with your pencil slightly while sitting in class. You knew this teacher would be no fun but damn. This was just not it. Kai was sitting in the seat next to you which was the window seat. Both of you were fortunate enough to sit in the back of the class. The teacher was mumbling on about something when you heard something fall. You looked down then looked under your chair by your foot to see a mechanical pencil that wasn't yours.
Right as you went to pick it up, another hand collided with yours, making you glance up. Kai was in very close proximity. "Sorry," he whispered to you, grabbing the pencil. You shook your head and when you both sat back up, the teacher was looking at you and Kai. A couple other students were looking too.
"Sorry Mr. Wells, Kai dropped his pencil."
Kai nodded and held it up as "proof" while you did the classic "Im the teachers pet" routine. Mr. Wells gave a slightly skeptical nod before going back to what he was doing. Kai smirked and looked over to you, catching you looking at him. He winked before turning back to his paper.
You blushed softly before doing the same. Andy was one of the students who had watched it unfold but was the only one who noticed the aftermath. You were ever grateful this was the last class of the day.
The final bell rang and you packed up, waiting for most of the students to clear out before standing. Kai and Andy seemed to have done the same. "Are we still going to that Cafe?" Kai asked, slinging his bag over his shoulder as he stood. You nodded and stood up as well, looking over to Andy who was waiting by the door for the both of you.
"Let's get going."
---------------------------
The three of you had made it to the Cafe pretty quickly thanks to Andy. It was a small, family run place that always gave off fall vibes, even in the middle of summer. You placed your orders before talking about the surrounding shops and neighbourhoods. Kai listens intently as you speak, thankful you're telling him about the area.
The moment that you had paused to thank the waitress, Kai took the chance to change the subject. "(Y/n), can I ask you about yourself? Like what you do for fun for example." You were in the middle of taking a drink but nodded none the less. "Yeah, uhm," You pause for a moment and think. "Well..." You listed off a few of the things you liked to do in your free time. One of which was going on picnics.
Kai smiles and watched you as you talk. Andy simple sat quietly and played on his phone, not really interested in making a new friend. "Oh and, Andy is my best friend. I see him as a brother." Andy looks up at the mention of his name and looks between you and Kai.
"What?" You roll your eyes. "If you weren't anti-social for once you would know what I was saying." Andy's lips press into a straight line. He breathes in to say something before stopping himself, knowing you would have comeback for whatever it was. "Whatever. I'll warm up to him..." He mumbled out. You looked to Kai with a smile and a shrug.
Kai smiled a little more as well and takes a sip from his own drink. "Do you think I could know a bit about you?" You asked as he set his cup down. "Sure. But where to start..." You said to start at the same place as you, with likes and dislikes.
"I enjoy reading, and stargazing. I can't think of much else I enjoy doing off the top of my head but..." You smiled and shook your head. "No worries, I'm sure we'll learn more as we talk." Kai nods and Andy looks to the both of you. "Hey uh, I gotta get home soon. Do you want a ride back to your place?" He asked, looking between you and Kai again.
"Please. Is it alright if we cut it short today?" You asked looking up to Kai. He nodded, "I don't mind. There are plenty of other days we can talk." You smiled and stood up, going to wait in line to pay the bill. Andy looks up to Kai. "Hey, uhm, I should warn you about his crazy ex. She's kinda freaky so you might run into her. If a chick with heavy eye make-up and a blonde streak tries to confront you, that would be her." He spoke only loud enough for Kai to hear but he nodded and took the warning seriously. "Thank you for telling me, Andy." He nods and looks to you making your way back over to the table.
"Lets get going."
------------------------------
1301 (sorry these have been so short, also not proof read)
100 notes · View notes
atlabeth · 3 years
Text
fever - sokka x reader
this has been sitting in my drafts half finished for 3 weeks so i thot it was prime time i actually finished it
this is kinda based off the song w dua lipa and angele so you can listen to that if you want
summary: sokka's convinced there's a mystery illness keeping you from focusing, but somehow he's completely oblivious that the only 'sick' you are is lovesick, and he's the reason you can't focus.
a/n: i have never written a sickfic. but this is like. a fake sick fic. its an idiots in love fic. i mean this is coming from mr "is he taller than me? is he better looking?" himself so. it makes sense. as usual, this is not proofread bc im a lazy mf
also im sorry for being vague with the calc but i was NOT about to do math during summer who do you think i am? ??
wc: 1.7k
warning(s): mentions of being sick and 🤢calculus 🤮 but otherwise tooth rotting fluff
-
How could the smartest man you knew be so, so incredibly stupid?
You thought that you were being obvious, so obviously that you were sure he knew. It was embarrassing how obvious you were.
You had met Sokka in your calculus class at the start of the new semester after you ended up sitting next to each other, and it wasn’t a stretch to say that you were immediately smitten. With eyes like the ocean and a face that had to have been crafted by the gods, you were almost too distracted to respond when he asked you for a pencil. But when he winked at you after giving his thanks, it only solidified what you had already suspected: you had known this man for all of five minutes, and you already had a crush on him.
Little did you know, it was going to turn into the most infuriating crush you had ever experienced.
You and Sokka became fast friends even though calculus was the only class you had together. Unfortunately, it was also something that you completely sucked at. Bad news, it was required for your major. Good news, Sokka was some sort of genius and offered to tutor you — Wednesdays in the library turned into a weekly occasion, and served as an opening for your calculus skills, your feelings for Sokka, and your exasperation to all grow stronger.
You normally weren’t someone to beat around the bush. If you started to like someone, you told them and dealt with whatever happened after, but something about Sokka just kept you from spilling your feelings outright. You knew that if he didn’t feel the same way, your relationship likely wouldn’t change, but there was still that tiny voice that said it’s better to stay like this in case things do go wrong — and this was the first time you listened to that voice. You simply valued your friendship too much.
But that didn’t mean you were going to be completely quiet about it — you hoped that if you did enough, he would be able to realize you liked him and do the whole process for you. A bit of a dim hope, but crushes make people do stupid things.
Things like bringing an extra coffee to every session, laughing at all his jokes (even the bad ones), sitting a little closer to him than usual, not dropping out of this wretched class so you could spend time together (it might’ve been required, but you still counted it). He didn’t make a point to object to anything, so you knew you weren’t making him uncomfortable — but you had concluded after nearly a whole semester of working and studying together that he was the most oblivious person in all of Ba Sing Se. He could teach you all kinds of formulas, but had no idea that you liked him. Grand.
Today was arguably the most important session out of any of them, seeing as your next class was the final, so it was only fitting that Sokka unknowingly made himself more interesting than any material you could’ve been working with. His arms were going to be the death of both you and your calc grade. You swore that the heat rushing to your cheeks was actually emanating off of you.
“Hey, Y/N!” Sokka grinned as he saw you and raised a hand in greeting, a sentiment you would’ve returned had it not been for the coffee cups in your hands. You settled for mirroring his grin and settled down in the seat across from him. You slid his coffee cup over, set your own down, then shrugged your bag off all before taking a seat.
“You ready to study ‘till your eyes bleed?” he asked, prompting a nervous laugh from you.
“You jest, but my eyes might actually start bleeding depending on how long we go,” you sighed. “There’s a reason I got an extra shot of espresso today.”
“Come on — by now you should know that you have nothing to worry about! I am the best teacher there is, and you got me all to yourself.”
Your eyes widened momentarily and you coughed, purposefully averting your gaze to give yourself some time to recover. Okay, he was going to make it really hard to focus today. “Let’s just get into it.”
He nodded and flipped open his notebook, beginning to talk as he rifled through his bag for a few extra things. “Okay, we’re just gonna start with going over the basics, then we’ll work our way up. There’s a couple practice problems on that page, so you can go ahead and answer those as a warmup.
You slid the notebook over in front of you and after approximately five seconds of looking at the first problem, found yourself studying Sokka rather than the material. Who could blame you? In the battle of cute tutor boy versus calculus, he was going to win every time.
He turned around and you immediately averted your eyes once again, trying to appear extremely involved, but you found that your mind was empty on anything to do with math. “Hey, uh— how do you do this first one? I’m totally blanking here.”
“We use limits in everything — this is actually something you’re really good at!” He studied you intensely and frowned. “Are you okay? Like, you’re not sick or anything, are you? You seem kinda out of it.”
You choked out a laugh and shook your head. “No, no — I’m fine. I guess I’m just a little tired.” As if to demonstrate your lie, you took a sip from your coffee and cringed internally. Love had turned you into an idiot.
He seemed to buy it as he nodded and picked up the pencil, scribbling a couple of notes as he explained the first problem to you. “Does that make sense?” You nodded and he handed the pencil back to you. “Okay — the other ones follow the same kind of process. It should be easy enough.”
You managed to get a little further in the second problem, but your lovestruck mind would not stop focusing back on Sokka every time you tried to do, well, anything. Curse him and his perfect arms, and eyes, and hairstyle, and everything.
You shook your head and set the pencil down once more, letting loose a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Yes, you did. “I just can’t focus at all.” Because of you. You picked up your cup once more and took a sip, hoping it would do something to get you back into the math state of mind.
Sokka frowned once more as he put the back of his hand against your forehead. “God, you’re hot.” You nearly choked on your coffee as your eyes practically bulged out of their sockets — he had to know what he was doing by now — how could he not? “Like, you’re completely burning up. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, I swear— I just…” you set your cup down on the table and heaved a sigh that was a touch more exasperated than necessary. “Are you telling me you seriously haven’t noticed? Like, not a single thing this whole year?”
“I’ve noticed a lot of things this year,” he chuckled. “It’s kind of our whole job, so you’re gonna have to be a lot more specific.”
You finally couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Sokka, I’m not— I’m not sick! Haven’t you noticed that I’m only ever flustered, or running into things, or forgetting info, or— or just a complete idiot when I’m around you? I like you, like, a lot, and I have for an embarrassingly long time! The reason I can’t focus is because I am hopelessly attracted to you in every single way.”
His brows creased for a moment and you clamped your mouth shut, worried that you had just ruined everything. It was only after a pause that felt like a century that he finally responded, the hint of a smirk on his lips.
“Well, why didn’t you just say something?”
You stared at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in pure surprise before the annoyance set in. You set your jaw as your brows furrowed and you hit him lightly on the side of his arm with the back of your palm. “You can’t be serious! You— you’ve gotta be messing with me by now. I really can’t believe that you can be that smart but this oblivious!”
He finally let the grin play across his lips in full force and he shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, I don’t know how you don’t expect me to mess with you when you scrunch up your face all cute like that every time you get mad. Besides, I started liking you after that fifth class; I offered to help you out so I could spend more time with you! I didn’t realize you felt the same way. I kinda just enjoyed the free coffee and getting to look at you all the time.”
“I can’t believe you!” you cried as you hit his other arm. “You’re telling me that I had to deal with this- this mental turmoil about whether you liked me back, while you were just enjoying the free eye candy and coffee the whole time?”
“You have nothing to worry about! I enjoyed the company far more than the coffee,” he joked, a certain twinkle in his eye. “But, you are probably out a couple twenties after all of that. So, what do you say about this Saturday, the cafe by the shoe store? My treat.”
“Damn right it’s your treat,” you shot back, though you couldn’t stop the smile forming on your face. “You owe me a lot — you have to make up for those coffees and all the emotional distress you caused.”
“Oh, I think I’ll have plenty of time to make up for lost time. After all, we do have a lot of coffee dates to get through.” And when he winked at you just like that first day, you remembered just how impossible it was to be angry at Sokka. “But first, we kinda have to get through this study date. The final’s still happening tomorrow.”
You responded with a raised brow. “This is a study date?”
Sokka shrugged and grinned. “They’ve all been study dates. You just didn’t know it.”
-
idiots in love idiots in love idiots In LOVe
perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77
atla: @marianne1806
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unprofessional-bard · 4 years
Text
Don't Push It, Pt. 1
Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist
Part 2 (1/2)
Based on this request.
Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader
Warnings: Age gap (the reader is 26 and Joel is 53), a lot of teasing/sexual tension, implied romantic feelings.
Summary: It's been going on for years. They both know better than to act on their feelings, but patience starts running thin when a few boundaries are crossed.
Word Count: 5.280
Author's Note: Okay y'all so I am a whore for Joel with long hair and I unintentionally made this into a fix-it au where Joel is alive. Also, the reader is going to have some OC characteristics to fit the scenario better. Finally, this fic changes POV's a lot, so I'm gonna clear that up:
• ----R and below: The reader's POV.
• ----J and below: Joel's POV.
• ----B and below: Both POV's.
The fic starts off with Joel's POV.
Enjoy!
gif credits: nikolai-stavrogin
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"Hey, Joel," Dina called over to the man sipping coffee on his porch.
"Mornin' Dina," He replied as his daughter's girlfriend walked over to him. Her baby bump had grown a little more and it never failed to put a smile on Joel's face.
"There's a little trouble with the patrol today," She said. "Jesse won't be able to make it to patrol with (Y/N)."
Shit.
"And they're askin' me to fill in?" He sat up a little.
"Yup, Maria told me to ask you if-"
"No problem, sure, I'll do it." He spoke nonchalantly, then asked if Jesse was alright. Dina told him she wasn't sure, that it must be something important for him to miss patrol, which made Joel nod: "You told (Y/N) too, or...?"
"No, but she's gonna be there regardless. I doubt that she knows."
"Alright, thanks Dina," Joel got up and she smiled in return before walking over to Ellie's place.
It was wrong. By the lord it was wrong, but he couldn't help it. You were fierce, confident, determined and disciplined; qualities he came to appreciate in time, but a bit differently only when it came to you. He shouldn't want you, an unknown source in his mind kept telling himself, but he did. He didn't know why, he never found himself being attracted to a woman your age, yet you had him under your spell. Oh the things you did to him...
Worst part was, he couldn't have you, whether he liked it or not. Nevermind the fact that you were too young for him, you probably didn't want him anyways- despite the crystal clear signals he got from you. It was just how you were, though: A little physical and perhaps a little flirty, but he could just be confusing that with your confidence.
Or he could be overthinking everything.
Joel readied his backpack, but realised there was still a little more than an hour before the rendez-vous, so he decided to head over to your place to tell you about the news to kill some time. After he made it there and knocked on your door while calling your name a couple of times, which were left unanswered, your neighbour curiously looked over the fences and called over to Joel: "She left a while ago... For the gym, I think."
"Thank you," Joel smiled politely and earned a wave from the lady in return. He took his time as he walked over to the gym. After he arrived, he looked around for awhile to spot where you were, but when he found it, the sight almost made him choke.
There you were, ankles crossed as you pulled yourself up and chin over the barfix with closed eyes, a frown and a clenched jaw. Sweat laced the sides of your face and Joel's eyes wandered lower: You were wearing a sports bra and matching shorts which hugged your frame tightly and the sun was shining directly onto your muscles, which the lord himself carved out and were also sweaty, but Joel didn't care - it made you look more attractive, if anything. You let out a huff and lowered yourself down, while he tried to collect himself. He didn't want to disturb you so he decided to wait until you finished...
...but you didn't seem to be finishing any time soon. He didn't want to look like a creep as he stood there and waited, so after you did another pull up and let yourself down, he cleared his throat.
----R
"(Y/N), here you are."
Had you not been already hanging, you definitely would've fell when you heard Joel's voice reach your ears. You opened your eyes to see him slowly approach you, his stupid thumb stuck in behind his stupid belt.
You hated it: You hated finding this man attractive and you hated your guts for occasionally flirting with him - him, who probably would never look at you the way you looked at him. He liked you, of course, he enjoyed your company but not the way you wanted him to. You hated that you had a crush on this man, who became even more gorgeous as he let his hair grow over the last few years, you also hated how he neatly parted it to the left.
Patrol with him was both a treat and a curse at the same time. You got to spend time with him, which made it a treat, but when you watched him- saw him in action, how aggressive he was, heat started to pool between your thighs. He was so rough and precise as he was smart; he always knew what to do under any circumstance, so you almost never worried when you went out with him. He made you feel safe, praised you and played with your heart when he responded to your flirting and nothing came out of it.
You hated it because your little "crush" on him was pathetic, for someone as confident as you. Sure, you teased and flirted with him, but one praise as simple as you did well today and you'd be melting on spot. You even tried to get with other people to distract yourself, to no avail. They weren't Joel.
None of them could ever be Joel.
"Good morning!" You said with a high pitched voice, reflecting your struggle to keep yourself up.
"To you too," He chuckled at your state and watched as you pulled yourself up slowly. "Hey, listen. Jesse ain't gonna make it to patrol today so I'm fillin' in for him."
----B
The way you faltered a little didn't escape him: "Why? Is he okay?"
"I dunno, but I'm sure he is. Something important must've come up," Joel informed you, not wanting to worry you as you seemed to care about him. A lot. Ugh.
"Tsk," You breathed out and closed your eyes to focus on keeping your head above the metal bar.
Joel then spoke again: "Yeah, I was just here to let ya know."
"Okay, well-" You exhaled audibly and suddenly let yourself go. The force of the action sent you flying a little and it almost made you bump into him: "Woah, oh, sorry-"
"Woah there," You both chuckled at the same time. Joel held you by your elbows to help you balance yourself and your heart rate picked up pace when you realised how close your face was to his chest a moment ago - the chest you wanted to get your hands on: How muscular was he? How many scars did he have there? How would it feel to run your fingers through the hair as you ro-
"Uhm, yeah, as I was saying," You snapped yourself back to reality and took a small step back, disappointed by the way his fingers let go of your arms: "I'm done here, just need to do a couple of stretches, then head back and take shower."
"Right. Well, I'll see you at the gate, then?"
"Uh, sure, yeah."
You didn't know what else to say other than stay. You wanted him near you and around you, you wanted to show off to him and you wanted his attention, so you had to think quick.
Joel didn't want to leave either, even though you were going to spend the whole day together. He still nodded and turned around to leave. It was then, when a brilliant idea crossed your mind: "Actually, Joel?" He turned around, gave you a soft look that made you want to run up to him and kiss all over his face. "Could you help me with my stretches?"
If he'd been drinking or eating anything, he most definitely would've choked: "Help you?"
"Yeah," You flashed a smile at him. "It's simple, you just gotta press me down and keep me in place." The widening of his eyes, puzzled face and his tense posture made you shy. "Eh- Normally, Jesse helped me with them."
True. Some stretches required someone to push your body to its limits - when you worked out alone, you stuck to simpler stretches, but right now, you needed a reason to have him by your side.
Joel was torn between leaving, like a responsible person who knew when to walk away would. He was responsible, yes, but his moral compass was thrown out of the window whenever you joined the picture. So far, he wanted to think he was handling his emotions well- by not acting on them and not talking about them.
Now, however, it was as if he was facing the last straw. He had a few boundaries left to cross, and this was one of them.
"Plus, I'm a bit tired to do them. Will you help me?"
Lies. All lies.
You'd been doing these stretches for long enough, even though you'd worked hard, you weren't tired at all. Joel thought this to be the case, so he tried to go around it: "You sure? I mean, how're you tired?"
"I've been training like hell this morning," You settled on the mat. "I don't wanna do these stretches, but I have to. I'm not in the mood to pull a muscle today."
That was good enough for him really: "'Kay," He sighed. "What do you need me to do?"
Your eyes glowed in excitement before you faced forward and explained: "Im gonna lean forward, like this-" You extended your legs forward and lowered yourself down. "All you gotta do is press on my back and stop me from moving away for a few seconds."
A few seconds which felt like five minutes, truth be told.
As soon as he touched your bare back, you sighed, then forced it into a hiss. He immediately retreated his hands, thinking he hurt you, pushing the ludicrous idea that you might have moaned away immediately.
His hands were big and a little cold comparing to your skin which was on fire after the workout, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't do that on purpose. You straightened up and looked at him with an innocent smile: "Your hands are cold."
Not cold enough to make you react like that, obviously.
Joel offered an awkward chuckle from the back of his throat: "You're gonna have to deal with it, missy."
And deal with it you did- barely. Christ, that was a bad idea, your worst one yet. To have his hands on your bare skin, pressing you down made your cheeks burn and mouth hang open as he kept you in place. You almost didn't hear him when he spoke, too busy trying to comprehend the size of his hands and how they'd feel around your throa-
"How many of these do you gotta do?"
"Uh, dunno," You blurted out. "Not too many."
Joel was partly glad, it felt so wrong yet it was just a simple act of help you could've asked from anyone. After 20 seconds of staying like that, you straightened. You went into a head-to-knee position and gave him an okay to press you down again.
You switched to the other leg after half a minute, but you were running out of ideas. There weren't any positions left that you could use his help with, so you played one last card to ruin him: "More."
"W-What?"
Good riddance.
"Press a little harder," You pretended to focus and tried your best not to smirk, knowing you had him where you wanted.
"Oh- hm," He cleared his throat and pressed a little more down on your back. If your plan hadn't backfired and made you almost moan through your teeth, everything was going accordingly.
Joel went to pull back, but stopped when you added: "It's been a while since I did these..."
Christ.
"That enough?" He slowly retreated his hands and stood up, watching you lean up where you sat.
"Yup, that'll be it," You smiled and blinked a couple of times. If Joel had known better, he would've thought you were making him do that, then being all cute on purpose-
It was going to be a long day.
----R
Patrol with the older Miller went as normally as it always was. Part one usually went like this: Meet up at the gate, get your rifles and horses, ride out, reach checkpoint one and sign your names. The road to checkpoint one didn't have any trouble, it usually never did. It was more quiet between you two than usual though. Had you gone too far?
"So, uh," You said once the two of you mounted your horses again. "You coming to the dance tonight?"
"What?" He snapped his head in your direction, looking clueless. "What dance?"
"Well, not a dance exactly but- you know what I mean?" You started riding. "The adults only event?"
He looked really distracted, a bit tense even: "Oh, right. You know those ain't my thing."
"I know," You nodded with a soft smile. "But I haven't seen you in any event ever since you decked Seth."
"Decked?" Joel chuckled bitterly at the memory.
"He deserved it, and more, that prick," You rolled your eyes, making him chortle.
"And nobody managed to shut up about it for the whole month," He sighed with a gorgeous yet tired smile on his face which you managed to see just in time. "So, no thanks. I'll pass."
"Aw, come on," You whined. "You can't avoid coming to these events forever. Please?"
He gave you a confused look, his smile slowly disappearing but not in a bad way: "Why?"
A good question. Oh, no reason, just wanna try and make a move on you, quite possibly jump your bones if it all goes well.
"I wanna make sure you haven't lost your ability to socialise." You offered.
"Really? Why, you're my momma now?"
"Ew, no," You both laughed. "Can't I be sure my friend is alive and well occasionally?"
----J
Friend.
A word that made Joel stop and think.
You saw him as a friend, huh? Two people, with clear sexual tension and an obvious age gap between them- Friends was an awkward description for him, but it was better than nothing.
He opened his mouth to reply, to insist that he was indeed alive and well, but you stopped him: "You know what I mean."
The conversation was making him a little distracted, he noticed, so he decided to keep his mouth shut until you reached checkpoint two. You didn't press him on, which was also a delight. That's another thing he liked about you: You knew your bounds- in patrol anyways. Or maybe it was because you got to know him well over the time, knew what he liked or not.
Part two went quieter too- infected and conversation wise. Not even a single runner was on sight as you swept through the small cabins and houses. Except for the occasional clear's and nothing here's, you didn't say anything else. Joel itched to talk to you, about anything to break the silence, but he was too lost in thought.
When you finally made it back to Jackson, you finally spoke up: "So? You coming?" He chuckled, mostly out of relief, then you added: "I found a new outfit, I wanna know what you think."
That caught Joel's attention. With a curious smile, after handing over your horses, he asked: "What outfit?"
"You'll see... If you come." You smirked, your close proximity making Joel's heart race.
"Don't get your hopes up," He sighed with a small grin and tucked his thumb behind his belt, the other one gripping the strap of his rifle.
"You're the worst," You punched his shoulder with mock upset, making him chortle and stumble a little to the right. "Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow then."
Joel remained quiet, then you walked away with a soft smile gracing your lips. The words sunk deeper than he would've liked, a sudden wave of guilt soaking his guts with regret, even though you didn't sound disappointed or upset. Lips pursed, he watched you hand your rifle to Peter and sign off, then leave; his steps coming to a halt as you did.
He just might check out what was up at the dance tonight, if he could successfully move himself out of his comfort zone in the following few hours.
----R
"Well well, look who it is," Tommy grinned when you approached the doors of the pub. The night had settled across the sky by the time you stepped outside your place. The sound of music and chatter of the people from inside filled your ears.
"Yours truly," You smirked. "It's crowded in there huh?"
"It sure is," Tommy said as he turned around to lead you inside. "Adults only events tend to attract more people, as y'can guess. Don't you look pretty today."
"Why thank you." You smiled playfully: "For no one, but myself, at that."
You lied through your teeth. You had dressed up in the silly hope that Joel would actually show up. You had been planning on it ever since you came across the item wrapped around your hips in an abandoned clothes shop a few weeks ago, and this event was the perfect excuse for you to wear it. For him.
"I ain't sayin' nothing!" Tommy raised his hands up in defense. "Figured that much, haven't seen anyone catch your interest in a long time."
Ha. Nice.
The atmosphere was lively and the air was warm, full of energy. Chatter and dancing went about the packs of people scattered across the space, but you couldn't see Joel, much to your disappointment - you weren't surprised though. What surprised you was Jesse suddenly showing up.
"Where's Ellie and Dina?" You asked after a while of teasing him about missing patrol.
"They decided to stay behind, I guess." He shrugged.
"What can I get y'all?" Tommy smiled, suddenly appearing behind the counter. Without waiting for an answer, he filled two glasses and pushed them towards you. You and Jesse looked at each other for a brief moment, before knocking it back at one go. "Woah there..."
A round of laughter later, you felt someone's presence behind you, then they tapped you on the shoulder: "Hey, (Y/N)!"
Much to your disappointment, once more, it was a boy named Mark. He was a year older than you, had no features whatsoever matching Joel's prettier ones and he took an obvious liking to you, which in truth you didn't appreciate, even though he wasn't weird about it or anything. You faked a smile and turned to him a little: "Hi."
"Good to see you," Sure. "How, uh, how are you?"
"Busy, actually," You pointed at the glass Tommy was refilling for you.
"Mind if I join?" He made himself comfortable on the stool next to you.
"Yeah. I do." Your smile never faded but your words were laced with poison.
He looked between you, Tommy and Jesse, mortified at your answer: "W- Heh, well, would you wanna dance later, then-?"
"No, I don't." You spoke calmly and turned to face Jesse again, only for him to move to tap you on the shoulder, which Tommy stopped from happening.
"Why don't you go home, huh?" He grabbed his wrist firmly, but not hard enough to leave a bruise of course. "The lack of oxygen in your brain's clearly stoppin' you from understandin' a word as simple as no."
You looked over at the younger Miller, a stern look on his face which seemed to make Mark piss himself. Suddenly, an even deeper voice was heard behind the boy: "I advise you to listen to him, son."
You turned completely in your seat to see Joel grabbing Mark by the shoulders, making him jump, then remove him from the seat carefully. Mark's legs were quick to oblige, making him walk towards the exit, but Joel held him in place: "A-ah, what do you say to the lady?"
"I'm s-sorry, (Y/N)," He nodded quickly. "I'll never disturb you again, I promise."
"Good boy," Joel patted him on the back, which sent him running to the door. Your cheeks were suddenly burning and you couldn't help but smile shyly.
"Tsk, what a jackass," Tommy nodded disapprovingly as Joel took the now empty space next to you.
"You decided to show then, huh?" You smirked at Joel.
"Yeah, figured you'd break someone's wrists and make 'em eat it," He chuckled, tipping his head at his brother in a greeting -God he looked so handsome, was that a new shirt?- before he continued: "Decided it'd be a shame to miss it."
You giggled and lightly pushed at his arm, almost immediately feeling the muscles underneath the rolled up sleeve of his blue shirt: "I'll take that as a I came because you asked and I listened for once." The exchange, obviously, didn't go unnoticed by his brother and Jesse, which made you sit upright suddenly: "Tommy was the one who was gonna break his wrist anyways..."
"Nobody gets to disturb anyone here, especially right in front of me," He said and slid a glass to his brother.
Jesse joined in: "I doubt it, but should he ever-"
"Aw, you guys are spoiling me," You grinned and waved your hand down, pressing the other onto your chest.
----J
You looked beautiful. You were wearing a plain, dark green, mid-thigh, flare skirt; which could pass as a miniskirt, but Joel was no fashion expert. You always did come up with the rarest clothing items (like your sports set that morning), so he wasn't surprised that you happened across the skirt. You also had a simple, white, v-neck t-shirt on- which all in all was the reason you left Joel speechless: You could be wearing something as simple as these, but you'd still look so damn pretty.
A few minutes later, after Jesse and Tommy disappeared in different directions and you were finally left alone, Joel spoke up: "Is this the-"
"What made you-" You gave each other a brief look before chuckling: "You go first."
"Ah, I was gonna ask if this was the outfit you wanted me to see," He said, briefly looking down to point at your skirt.
He watched you run a hand through your hair and bite your bottom lip before answering: "Yeah..." You got up and stuffed your hands in your pockets, which made Joel's heart sizzle. "What do you think?"
He gave you a genuine smile: "I think you look beautiful."
The shock on your face made Joel panick a little, but when you offered a shy little smile, he relaxed: "You- Really?"
He gave you a single, slow nod in acknowledgement, his smile grew bigger when you beamed at him and offered him a quiet thank you, then sat back. You were staring hard at your glass, clearly avoiding his gaze and he found it rather cute, but didn't comment on it.
He was looking forward to chat with you, after all, you were the reason why he showed up, but you were unfortunately dragged away by a couple of friends, Jesse included...
To dance.
An upbeat song he didn't recognise started playing, putting you and another boy, Mick, to action. Everyone backed away to give you two space, then started off with what seemed to be something you'd been practicing for a while. You mirrored each other's moves, it was similar to some folk dance he'd watched way before the outbreak, but it most definitely wasn't a folk dance. Your arms linked occasionally, hands on your hips as you crossed each other's legs with fast movements and other types of moves Joel couldn't name if he tried, but it was organised and fun to watch. It wasn't intimate, too, just a silly little dance as you called it minutes later when you finished and walked to the bar for a drink. You didn't stay long, though, just downed your drink, winked at him and went back to the stage where you and Mick (but mostly you) stole the show.
It went on for two more rounds, to the point your t-shirts were absolutely soaked and your legs couldn't take it anymore. Joel had a particularly hard time in his seat, watching your skirt float around your thighs made him feel embarrassed with himself. Tommy even went as far as to tease him about his constant squirming, but a glare from his older brother was enough to shut him up.
The last dance finished off with you in Mick's arms, leaning back in his hold and closing your eyes with laughter. Everyone clapped you both, which earned you a kiss on the cheek from Mick- which you returned. Joel's jaw clenched unintentionally, even though you and him didn't appear to be more than friends.
Stop. Stop it, you idiot.
He couldn't care less about these types of things, drama about who's dating who and whatnot, but when it came to you he naturally grew curious.
He watched you, eyelids struggling to keep themselves open as Jesse led you and helped you onto the stool, next to Joel once more. You huffed and giggled, eyes closed with sweat droplets on your forehead. He couldn't help it when his smile grew wider at your tipsy state.
What he didn't see coming was the sudden hand on his thigh and your back against his arm, letting your head drop onto his shoulder as you let out a brief laugh: "Never let me dance and drink at the same time again."
Joel didn't know what to say, he quickly looked around for Jesse only to find him already gone and a couple of people staring at the both of you. With a rush of panic, he responded: "I don't think I'm the one you should say that to, darlin'."
Your hand and the rest of your body immediately retreated when you jumped at his voice: "Joel?!" You looked a little embarrassed and he couldn't help but smirk. "Uh, where's Jesse?"
The question almost made him scrunch up his face, but he patiently waited until the end of the conversation, which was after you've walked away to find the boy in question and he was alone with his own thoughts... Jealousies...
"He dropped you off and went over there, I think." Joel nodded to the direction he thought Jesse went off to - he didn't see though, he was too busy focusing on you when your fingertips had brushed somewhere dangerously near his crotch.
"Huh," You stared around to find him, but Joel figured you were too intoxicated to actually see that far. "You need to stop wearing the same clothes."
He raised a brow at that: "You tell him that."
"Oh I will," You grinned mischievously and suddenly grabbed Joel's glass of whiskey from his hand, then downed it at one go before he could intervene.
"Hey!" He tried to grab the glass from you but you leaned back. "I think you've had enough for the night."
"Says who-?" You pouted and at the very same time, lost your balance, realising that you leaned a little too back. However, Joel caught you; one hand on your arm, the other on your waist and he pulled you back - he didn't know if you did it purposefully, but you practically fell into his body: "Oh! I'm sorry-" You laughed, not looking sorry at all. "Thanks, Joel," You purred, extending the 's' and the 'l' at the end of each word as you grabbed onto his biceps. "You saved me."
"Pfft," Joel couldn't help but let his hand linger on your waist as he made sure you stood in place. Your eyes met when you lifted your head from his chest - the meaning behind his hazel gaze and your own was similar and it lasted for what felt like a whole minute, while in reality it was no longer than a few seconds.
You finally let his arms go and he took it as his cue to remove his hand from your waist (which, for a moment, felt like it had been glued there): "So... You enjoying yourself, old man?"
Joel sighed through his nose, amused at how the alcohol in your system was slowing your speech, then went back to how he had been sitting before you came. Just when you asked, the smooth, familiar tune of Ain't No Sunshine started playing. After all the excitement, a slower music felt nice: "Sure. You?"
"Oh I sure am," You nodded and leaned back against the counter with something of a triumphant smile.
"I can tell," Joel replied, then without turning his head, side eyed you. His stare later on moved down to your skirt. "Why'd you get all dressed up for, really?"
"Huh?" You blinked, not processing if he was asking what you thought he was.
"I, uh- just never took you for the skirt type."
"Is that so?" You asked, eyes widening. "Well, just trying on a new outfit..." You looked down and bit your lower lip, making Joel's heart skip a beat. He mentally kicked himself for not leaving right then and there and continuing to talk to you: "There's actually another reason."
"Hm?"
"There's this guy," You turned towards him, placed your arm paralleled across his on the counter and leaned forward a little, pretending to look around. His fingertips scratched against the wooden surface of the counter at the mention of this guy in question. "I don't know his name, but maybe you do?"
He just raised a brow when you looked at him innocently: "He's a bit old, around this tall," Your hand went back and forth in the air as you tried to size the man's height in your mind. "Has pretty, long, graying hair with an also graying beard... A little scar on his nose," You looked at him and leaned in a little more, invading his personal space but not touching him, then pointed at the exact spot on your nose and it was then, Joel realised, that you were indeed describing himself. "He's wearing this blue shirt and, honestly, it would look better on him if he opened another button or two."
I know, I know
Hey I oughta leave young thing alone
But ain't no sunshine when she's gone
He wanted to counter, tease you back, lean down and taste your lips, then place a kiss or two on your neck and bite it softly just to hear you moan quietly into his ear- he also needed to get his shit together, as much as he wanted to do all of that.
He couldn't quite believe his self control when he leaned away from you, especially since the tip of your noses almost touched and he felt your hot breath on his lips. He cleared his throat and quickly looked around to see if anyone was looking- no one had seen the rather intimate interaction so he spoke: "I don't know who that is."
The disappointment on your features was like a knife twisting up in his guts. You blinked a couple of times, but didn't lean back: "S- Sure you do..."
"I don't," Joel insisted, his voice stern. "Maybe you should look for someone else."
Your disappointment turned into embarrassment and anger, making you frown and lean back: "Excuse me."
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away
And with that, you got up and stormed away, leaving Joel wanting, aching and ashamed.
Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away
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