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dreamingofaizawa · 4 years ago

Text

Obedient (Rewritten)

Soft! Yandere! Erasermic x Chubby! Fem! Reader

***18+ Fic***

You must be 18 years old or older to participate in this reading. If you are not, please remove yourself from the line and find another piece. Thank you.

Warnings: Yandere, stalking, implied drugging, kidnapping, reader is way too fucking calm with the situation, Stockholm Syndrome, BDSM themes, a collar, body worship, the word Daddy once, smut, double penetration (diff. holes), anal, unprotected sex, overstimulation, aftercare.

Word Count: 6.6 k

Author's Note: Alright. I've been wanting to rewrite this for a while now. Obedient was the very first fic I'd ever written and posted back in September, and my writing has changed A LOT since then. Reading the original, I realized there's a lot that I can change and tweak, and a lot that wasn't very clearly or well written (in my opinion). So, here it is!

You can find the original here.

Enjoy~

“Happy birthday to me.” The words tumble loosely from your lips on a heaved breath, your fingers curled lazily around a cold glass of whiskey.

It isn’t a rare occurrence to see you perched atop a stool at the edge of the bar, nursing your third glass at 2am on a Friday night. Or rather Saturday morning. It’s one of the only places you can find solace, away from nosy coworkers and nosier acquaintances. The loneliness is soberingly blissful. You never cared much for social interaction.

At this point the bar is emptying, only a handful of bodies sticking around in the early hours. In the reflections of the rows of glass liquor bottles you see them again. Two lanky figures sitting in the corner booth at the back of the establishment. Any normal person would see them and think nothing. But you know better. When you first walked into the bar six months ago they were in that exact spot, and every time afterward they’d be there when you walked in and stayed after you left.

You, being observant as you are, always watched everything from your spot at the bar, the slightly warped images in the glass serving as your eyes for the night. It didn’t take long for you to figure the two were watching you every time you stepped inside. The blonde one always sat with his back to you, and his head would occasionally turn in the reflection. You’d alternate seats to make sure you weren’t imagining things, but it only confirmed what you’d suspected.

Not that you cared enough to do anything about it.

As long as they keep their distance you’re perfectly content letting them look. And they did keep their distance. They’d never even come within 5 feet of you, seemingly happy with just lingering glances. Of course, tonight would be a different story.

You watch as their glassy reflections stand up, the distance between you and them shrinking with each of their long strides. You let your eyes fall to the amber liquid in your hands, praying they’d only pass you by on their way out. Two sets of footsteps approached, two bodies popped up on either side of you, and a deep, silky smooth voice sounded on your right.

“Mind if we take a seat?” A glance to your right revealed a rugged, yet handsome man peering down at you with his deep, tired onyx eyes. Long raven hair spilled over his shoulders, framing his chiseled jaw peppered with barely tamed scruff and a scar curved along his cheekbone. You turn to look at his friend, long blonde hair pulled up into a high bun and hypnotic green eyes focused on you behind orange tinted sunglasses despite being indoors past midnight. He is handsome as well, a small mustache on his smiling lips, high cheekbones and a sharp jawline drawing you in.

You couldn’t help but feel they look familiar, somehow. You’d seen their faces before, somewhere, but you pushed that to the back of your mind for now.

It wouldn’t hurt to let them sit with you, right? They seem friendly enough, and it’s better to entertain them in case things go south should you reject their request. With a small, tired smile, you nod.

“Sure thing, fellas.” They both plop down on either side of you and the blonde immediately gets talking.

“So what’s the occasion, little listener?” Two thoughts came to mind. One, how did he know there was any occasion, two, what kind of pet name is ‘little listener’? Your confusion must have shown on your face, because the raven haired man spoke up.

“You’re pretty dolled up for a night at the bar, kitten.” Ah. So they had been watching you. You aren’t wearing anything that would normally be considered ‘dolled up’. Your tan sweater and black skirt are relatively plain, and the platform boots you’re wearing accompanied by your thigh-high socks are something you’re experimenting with.

But usually you entered the bar with a white button-up and black slacks from your job as a waitress. Today you had time to go home and pamper yourself a bit before heading to your usual drinking spot. Evidently, they noticed. You bring your glass up to your lips and gulp down the remaining liquid before entertaining the question.

“Nothing special. Call it a birthday party.” And hey, you mean it when you say it isn’t special. Your birthday only marks yet another routine year on this earth. The blonde nudges your shoulder with his own.

“I’d say that’s pretty special, sunshine!” The alcohol must be affecting you, because you chuckle a bit at his enthusiasm.

“Just another year gone by, you know?” You’re never this talkative sober. The man on your right rapped his knuckles on the bartop, the barkeep making his way over with a tired smile.

“One more glass for this pretty kitty here.” The name had your eyebrows raising.

“This one’s on me.” As the fresh glass was sat on the bartop you scoffed quietly.

“Kitty?” A deep hum came from the man.

“Well how would you describe yourself, kitten?” Somewhere in your muddled brain you warned yourself not to be self-deprecating on your 25th birthday. You didn’t listen.

“Definitely not feline. I’m short and chunky and the only thing cat-like about me is my posture and eyeliner,” you stated, matter-of-factly. As a waitress at an esteemed high-end restaurant, you had to learn to be quick on your feet, agile, and most importantly, poised. A hum comes from the blonde, a muttered ‘pretty and humble’ floating on his breath. You force a chuckle at the statement.

“Pretty is also a word I wouldn’t use to describe myself.” A short silence falls between the three of you, and you take the time to study their faces. Where had you seen them before? You’re certain if you’d met them before you’d remember them, you don’t tend to forget attractive people.

They’re oddly patient as they watch the cogs in your brain turn, your eyes taking in every detail of every feature. Your breath caught and your eyes went wide when you’d finally placed their faces.

“Present Mic and Eraserhead. You’re pro heroes.” The words are quiet, nearly imperceptible as you breathe them, but they’re close enough to hear. Present Mic beams at the recognition.

“In the flesh, sunshine. But we’d prefer you use our names.” Eraserhead leans away and sticks a hand out for a handshake.

“Shouta Aizawa.” You shake his hand and turn to the blonde, who similarly has his hand held out.

“Hizashi Yamada.” You introduce yourself, a bit shaky and only slightly starstruck. What in the world are two pro heroes doing talking to you? As you regain your composure you excuse yourself to the restroom. You weren’t prepared to talk to heroes tonight. A glance in the mirror has you sobering yourself, rationalizing their strange behavior. These two are pro heroes. They were clearly only worried about your safety, a woman all alone in a bar till the earliest hours of the morning. ‘That’s why they were watching me’, you muse. You quickly fix yourself, then step back out to the two heroes.

The three of you pass another hour of time before you decide it’s time for you to head home. They offer to give you a lift, but you politely decline. You can't intrude on them any more than you already had. Hizashi insists otherwise.

“Please Sunshine? If something were to happen to you we’d never forgive ourselves!” It made sense to you. They’re pro heroes after all, it’s in their nature to worry. So you oblige to ease their anxieties.

Since Shouta hadn’t touched any alcohol, he’s driving, and you punch your address into the GPS system of their very expensive looking car. As you sit back, Hizashi holds a bottle over his head.

“Water?” You thank him and drain the bottle, realizing you’re a bit more dehydrated than you initially thought. In your semi-drunk haze you fail to notice that the bottle had already been opened, and you miss Shouta’s eyes watching you down the beverage through the rearview mirror.

It’s only five minutes later you feel drowsy, your head lolling to the side and eyelids drooping. You don’t quite register the question Hizashi asks you, and when you don’t answer he turns around to look at you.

“You seem tired, Sunshine. Take a nap, we’ll wake you up when we get there.” Your exhaustion takes hold over any rational thoughts, and with a sleepy nod, you stretch out over the backseat and let your mind slip into unconsciousness, blissfully unaware you’ll never see your apartment again.

The first thing you notice as you wake up is how stiff and sore your muscles are. It takes you a moment to realize you aren’t in your clothes from last night, nor are you in your own bed. Your eyes snap open and you sit up, taking in the unfamiliar room. With a curse under your breath you scour your memory for anything, checking if you’d gone home with anyone or gotten yourself in a tight situation. The last thing you remember is being driven home by the two pros, then passing out in their backseat.

Questions began forming in your mind. ‘Where am I? How did I get here? Where had the two heroes gone?’ In an attempt to think clearer, you try crossing your legs, but your ankle is stopped short by something heavy. Throwing off the blanket, a thick metal cuff glinted in the light of the room, an equally thick chain leading somewhere over the side of the bed.

When your breathing begins to quicken, you settle your mind, refusing to panic. Willing yourself to relax, you begin to think about how you can get out of this situation. ‘Today should be Saturday. Assuming this room is part of a house, someone would most likely still be here’. With a small breath, you speak, hopefully loud enough for someone to hear you.

“H-hello? Is someone there?” It only takes a few seconds for footsteps to reach your ears, and the door opens to the last person you’re expecting to see. A ruggedly handsome Shouta Aizawa stands in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe with a small smirk on his lips.

“Good morning, Kitty.” As endearing as the pet name is, the only emotion you feel right now is confusion. Your mind is drifting to all the fanfiction you’d read online, piecing together the events of last night like a puzzle. ‘The bottle of water was already open’. In your defense, they’re pro heroes, it’s only natural for you-- or anyone, really-- to let your guard down. A large hand on your shoulder jolts you back to reality, your eyes wide as you stare up at Shouta like a deer in headlights.

“You okay Kitten?” All you can manage as you settle your thoughts is to blink up at the man, swallowing down the lump in your throat before letting out a shaky breath.

“Let me guess. I’m home now, aren’t I?” The man stares back down at you with subtly raised eyebrows before chuckling softly.

“That’s not the reaction I was expecting, but I can’t say I’m mad about it. You’re a smart little kitty, aren’t you.” He leaves you to your thoughts and your mind begins reeling once again. You understand this is wrong, that you shouldn’t be so willing, so obedient. You also know how boring your life has been up until now. How mundane and lonely you’d been for as long as you can remember.

You’d cut ties with your family long ago, and ‘friend’ is a very loose term. Most of the people you called friends are acquaintances at best, your antisociality and trust issues meant ‘making friends’ is not on your life agenda. Somehow you knew, deep down, you wanted something like this to happen. You longed to give up control, to let someone else string you along and take the reins and let you relax, not have to worry about anything anymore. That side of you tended to make itself known through your explorative late teen years.

You’d had romantic partners before, though once anything intimate came up they all refused to associate with you anymore. They couldn’t understand your want to give up control, your need to submit. They refused to collar you ‘like an animal’. None of your partners ever understood the weight behind such a garment. This may be your chance at the relationship you’d always craved, regardless of its twisted nature.

Then there’s the logical side, the chances of you actually escaping. As a quirkless human in the presence of two trained pro heroes (assuming Hizashi is also in on this), the likelihood of you making it out is slim to nonexistent. If you somehow manage to get out, the two could easily track you down and just as easily drag you back. So, as wrong as it seems, you don’t fight it.

Shouta returns with a tray of breakfast, setting it down on your lap after you’d adjusted yourself to lean against the headboard. As he pulls back you mumble a ‘thank you’ and begin to eat, acknowledging the pang of hunger in your belly. As weird as it seems to say ‘thank you’ to your captor, you find it could be helpful even if only a little. Being polite is automatic, but it’s also a great way to make sure you don’t end up injured, or worse, dead somewhere, so for once in a long time your manners are intended. You’d gotten halfway through your meal when Shouta speaks up.

“You’re taking this really well.” He almost seems skeptical. You peer up at him as you finish the food in your mouth.

“There isn’t much use panicking. I’d only end up hurting myself. Besides, it’s not like I can get out.” You motion to the cuff around your ankle and he gives a small chuckle.

“You’re not wrong, kitten.” He leaves to let you finish breakfast, returning ten minutes later and taking your empty tray. He comes back right after, a pair of handcuffs and a blindfold in hand.

“I’m sure you need to use the bathroom.” You give a small nod, acknowledging the pressure in your bladder for the first time since you woke up. Gently, he takes your wrists and locks the cuffs around them, then holds up the blindfold before going to tie it around your head.

“These are just a precaution.” Soon you feel the cuff on your ankle fall away, and Shouta’s strong arms loop under your knees and back as he lifts you off the bed.You’re both surprised and not that he can lift you with relative ease. He is a pro hero after all. It takes less than 30 seconds for him to stop and gently place you down, taking the blindfold and cuffs off.

“I’ll be waiting just outside the door. Once you’re done, knock and I’ll take you back to bed.” You nod and he leaves, locking the door once he’s outside. Of course it locks from the outside. You take a moment to just think about your current predicament. Currently you’re locked in the house of a pro hero, being kept against your will (sort of). Your life had just taken an unexpected turn.

You knock on the door like Shouta said, and it isn’t long before you’re back on the bed with the cuff around your ankle. As he turns to leave you stop him, and he turns back to you with a quirked eyebrow.

“Can I...draw?�� You didn’t know if he’d actually let you have anything, but it was worth a shot. If you were to be cooped up here you need to keep yourself occupied. With a low hum, he leaves the room and comes back with a sketch pad, pencil, and eraser.

Days come and go with either of the pros serving you three meals a day. They begin questioning your obedience, especially Hizashi. He questioned your lack of panic and how you never seemed to try to escape. Even he knows this isn’t normal. Shouta seems less skeptical, like he’d expected less of a fight than any normal, sane person would give. When Hizashi asked questions you answered truthfully. Lying is of no use to you.

“Really, I don’t mind it here. So far my life has been pretty shitty and boring, so this turn of events is mildly appreciated. Besides, you treat me relatively well, considering I’m being held captive, so I can’t say I’m upset.” You’d guessed from both your reading and their actions that they truly believed they cared about you. The chances of them hurting you are slim, so you’re able to live with them without fear.

The cuff around your ankle came off about a week in, and Shouta gave you the freedom to roam the house, though it wasn’t without warning. He held his hand out to you, an offer to help you stand, and you took it. Slowly, you swing your legs over the side of the bed and shift your weight to your feet. Your legs shake like a newborn fawn, but Shouta held you to let you stretch your legs and get comfortable walking again.

He led you out to what you assume is the dining table and sat you down, Shouta taking the seat on your right. You assume Hizashi is in the kitchen, what with the clatter and smell of food. Shouta asked what you’d been drawing, which caught you a bit off guard, but you answered anyway.

“Koi fish.” He hummed, focused on you.

“Any particular reason why?” You take a moment to think about your answer, it’s not a question you’re used to responding to.

“Well they’re gorgeous creatures. Elegant, sleek and graceful. The way they move is so mesmerizing, smooth and flawless like a flowing creek. I’ve always loved drawing koi.”

The conversation lapses into your fascination with the fish, how they somehow remind you of dragons and how the fantastical creature’s existence isn’t as far-fetched as it’s made out to be. Hizashi joins soon enough, serving dinner and listening in on the conversation.

Once you all finish eating you get comfortable on the couch, nestled between the two men. It isn’t long before you drift off to sleep, their body heat lulling you into dreamland. Shouta carries you to bed, carefully laying you down and pressing a light kiss to your temple. He stands above you, admiring your features as you sleep.

You’re gorgeous to him, a goddess in your own right. He and his blonde counterpart had started watching you mainly because you were a woman, completely alone and seemingly unarmed in a bar until the earliest hours of the morning. Neither of them could tell if you were quirkless or not, and as heroes they made sure to keep an eye on you during their weekly trip to the bar should you get into any trouble.

But eventually it became a habit to look for you, and the more they looked the farther they fell. You looked as exhausted as Shouta every time you stepped through the doors, hair just beginning to lose its style and shoulders sagged. But you were so beautiful, even in your exhausted state. Hizashi was the first to mention his infatuation to Shouta, but the raven-haired man had already figured the blonde was into you.

Soon enough they began to get antsy, constantly watching you walk out the door into the dead of night all alone. You’re just too trusting of the world outside, not taking enough precautions for a woman of your caliber. They made it their mission to make sure you were safe, and one day, take you back home where they could protect you.

Now that you’re here, it’s like a dream. Even as you sleep you’re the most beautiful thing in the world. How your lashes flutter against your cheeks, the way your lips softly part with every breath, how your chest gently rises and falls, it all makes him stare down at you in complete awe. It takes a great deal of willpower for him to tear his eyes away from you and join Hizashi in their room.

***3 months later***

A couple months have passed since you’d...moved in with the two men, and you can’t say you hate it. They’ve respected your privacy, allowing you to stay in your own room and letting you bathe yourself after refusing their attempts at persuading you to join them. Honestly it’s been nice living with them.

Though, the longer you’re with them the more thoughts begin gathering and swirling in your head. Caring thoughts, how their days progress, how they’re feeling at any point in time. And needy, dirty thoughts. Any time those pop up you make it a point to push them deep down into the farthest recesses of your brain, refusing to fuel those pesky embers.

Somewhere in the back of your mind you know what’s happening, what’s been happening. You’re no stranger to Stockholm Syndrome, having done your own minimal research on the subject a few years back. You constantly tell yourself this isn’t normal, nor is it healthy, to enjoy the company of your captors. You have to remind yourself that they had taken you from everything you knew, and even though there wasn’t much for you to love, they’d taken you from that as well.

But soon enough the illogical prevailed, because despite all of that, the two have been nothing but good to you.

In no time at all the days you spend alone in the large house are the days you find yourself missing their company, hoping they’d return sooner. You managed to dig through their clothes and pick out some of their older t-shirts, and began wearing them around the house. Their lingering scents have been a comfort as you patiently wait for them to come back. They don’t seem to mind at all, so you’re content.

As time passes you get closer with them, gravitating toward them and snuggling into either of their sides, letting them wrap an arm around you and tug you into them. You began giving kisses when they left and returned, a small peck on the cheek at the door. The first time you had engaged a kiss was a shock to both of them.

You had tugged Shouta’s sleeve and when he turned you silently grabbed his collar and yanked him down, leaving a small peck on his cheek, doing the same with Hizashi. They barely had the time to react before you dashed to your room and curled under the blankets, face heated and heart pounding like some schoolgirl who had confessed to her crush and got a positive response. That night you’d received more cuddles and kisses than normal.

The kisses became routine, and before long you all slept in the same bed. Strangely enough, life began to feel somewhat normal. The house began to feel like home.

And soon enough that schoolgirl crush manifested into something dirty, something lustful and carnal. Just as much as you long to be around them, you want desperately to feel their hands on your bare skin, mapping out the curves of your body as you writhe beneath them. You crave them and their touch. But of course you still have your pride. Dropping hints would have to suffice.

Slowly, subtly, you dress lighter, more scantily. No shorts under their t-shirts that barely cover your ass, allowing the stretched collars to drop and expose the slightest peek of skin. After a shower you walk back to the room in nothing but a towel, allowing the edge to ride up your thighs. Your tactics seemed to work, their eyes glued to the newly exposed skin, soaking in your plush thighs and soft skin. Their stares make you ache, but after weeks of nothing but lingering glances you decide to toss your pride out the window.

You have dinner ready when they walk in the door, and after everyone had eaten and showered you usher them both to the couch while you sit facing them from the coffee table. Their confusion is evident on their faces, your nervous fidgeting and reluctance to look them in the eyes didn’t help. What you’re about to bring up is embarrassing to say the least, but staying silent would be a detriment to your sanity. With a steadying breath, you meet their gaze and quietly force out your seemingly ridiculous request.

“So… I enjoy being here with you,” your fingers twist into the hem of your shirt and you swallow down the lump in your throat, “and I really appreciate that you’ve given me anything I asked for-”

“No.” Shouta’s voice suddenly cuts off your sentence.

“You can’t go outside, Kitten. I’m sorry, but that’s non-negotiable right now.” You blink dumbly at him, completely thrown off balance by his statement before you catch yourself, waving your hands frantically in front of you.

“No! Oh god, that’s not…um…. I wasn’t asking to go outside. I love being here, with you, and doing whatever but...it’s what we don’t do...that’s bothering me...just a little bit…” By now your voice is so quiet and high-pitched you wonder if they can even hear you. Hizashi, bless his heart, is just as confused as before the conversation started.

“Sunshine, you aren’t making much sense. If you think about it, there’s actually a lot we don’t do.” Shouta holds a hand up, silencing the blonde. His dark eyes drag over your body, watching the way your thighs almost imperceptibly rub together and you can’t meet his gaze. You squirm, the intensity in his eyes something you aren’t used to but it makes you hot all over. His hand comes down on his thigh twice.

“Come here, Kitty.” Slowly, you stand and walk to him, letting his hands grab your hips and pull you down to straddle his lap. A finger curls under your chin, angling your head to look Shouta in the eyes. A small smirk pulls the corner of his mouth, a moment of realization flashing across his face.

“Our little Kitty is getting needy ‘Zashi. Isn’t that right, Kitten?” Heat flooded your face, your embarrassment and arousal sending hot blood to your face and chest. You squeeze your eyes shut and nod, hoping they’d do something about the very horny state you’re in. Shouta’s hand moves to your hip again, lifting you and placing you in Hizashi’s lap before standing and walking away.

The blonde cooed at the surprised squeak you let out at the sudden movement, and you open your eyes to his wide grin. Leaning forward, he wraps his arms around your waist and presses his lips to yours in a sweet kiss. It feels nice, and you let your body melt into him and his warmth, his long fingers digging into the flesh of your lower back as he tugs you closer and a pleasant haze settles over your mind.

It’s a blissful moment shared between you, and Shouta returns just as Hizashi pulls away from the kiss. They share a look you can’t place before the former raises a hand to gently stroke your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He seems conflicted, trying to mull over some sort of decision in his brain, his brows just barely drawn and jaw set. When his eyes dropped to his other hand, yours followed, to find he held a long thin black velvet box. Clearly it holds some sort of jewelry.

After a few moments he turns it to you and lifts the lid, and your heart damn near stops beating. Whether it’s from excitement or a brief flash of fear, you don’t know. These two have been watching you for much longer than just at the bar. Those few months are only the tip of the iceberg, but how they’d come to notice you would probably forever remain a mystery to you.

Right now, all that matters is that they know everything. From your failed relationships to the reason they’d all ended. They had to know, that’s the only explanation. There’s no possible way it’s pure coincidence that you now gaze down at a beautifully crafted leather collar. It’s simple, thin, black dotted sparsely with sparkling gems and a dainty metal ring centered at the front. Tentatively, you reach out and trace the leather with your fingers.

“Is this...for me?” A deep hum sounds in Shouta’s chest, and that’s answer enough for you. Shouta plucks the garment from its seat and moves behind you. The cool leather feels heavenly as he loops it around your neck, his fingers brushing your skin. Everything seemed to go quiet as you waited for something, anything, to solidify this moment.

Click.

You shudder out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. Shouta tilts your head and presses his lips to yours, looping a finger through the collar and giving a gentle tug. It makes you mewl, allowing him space to slip his tongue behind your teeth. He can see your pupils dilate when he pulls away, plush lips slick with saliva, lust invading your mind. You look so needy and desperate for them, so fucking gorgeous.

Hizashi leaves a kiss on your cheek then picks you up and places you on your feet. Both men grab either of your hands, lacing their fingers with yours, and gently pull you with them to the bedroom. Hizashi begins undressing first, and you can only let your eyes drag over his bare upper body for a moment before Shouta grabs your chin and distracts you with another kiss. This one is more passionate, heated, rough as his tongue effortlessly invades and dominates your mouth. Hizashi’s voice permeates your lust-filled haze.

“Come here, baby.” Shouta pulls away and allows you to walk over to where the blonde sits naked on the edge of the bed. He motions for you to turn around and you oblige, then he grabs your hips and pulls you back to sit in his lap, your back pressed to his chest. You watch as Shouta undresses, baring his skin to you as Hizashi tasks himself with undressing you.

Your shirt is the first to be removed, a groan spilling from the blonde when he discovers you aren’t wearing a bra. He pulls you flush against his chest, peppering wet kisses down your neck and shoulders as your eyes roam over Shouta’s sculpted frame. The raven haired man makes his way over, kneeling down between your legs and reaching up to toy with your breasts, rough fingers working your nipples until they peak. Hizashi’s hands find their way down to the pouch of your stomach, grabbing at the soft pliant flesh and squishing the fat there.

You let out a low whine, feeling extremely self-conscious with his hands working at the parts of your body you hate the most. You grab at his wrists in an attempt to pull him away, but he hushes you and whispers into your ear, his breath hot on your neck.

“It’s okay, pretty baby. Let me feel you.” You will yourself to let him go, let his hands explore your body the way he wants. He keeps his hands on your belly, long fingers massaging into your skin.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” He’s nipping and kissing at your neck, whispering praises into your ear as he fondles all the fatty parts of you.

Shouta’s hands reach up and tug your panties down, then grip your thighs and pull them apart, exposing you to his hungry eyes. You can’t help but feel exposed, uncomfortable, as they touch and gaze at every part of yourself you had always despised. A whimper builds in your chest, tears beginning to sting your eyes and your breath shaking. Hizashi leans over and kisses your tears away as Shouta leans forward and kisses at your belly and thighs, hands working at whatever flesh he couldn’t get his lips on.

“Let us love you. All of you. You’re such a pretty kitty.” You let yourself relax, let yourself relish in the fact that these two gorgeous men are doting over your body like you’re a goddess, like they couldn’t live if they didn’t worship every one of your perfect imperfections. Though you’re far from comfortable, the initial fear subsides, allowing them full access to you.

“Good girl kitty, good girl.” Shouta whispers as he nips at your thighs, sucking little red marks into your skin. He hooks your legs over Hizashi’s, and the blonde’s fingers dip down to tease your folds, barely breaching your little hole and making you buck for more friction. A soft moan slips from your lips as he pushes two long fingers into your soaked pussy.

You rock your hips into his hand, his palm barely brushing against your clit making you mewl. Shouta focuses his attention on your breasts and belly where Hizashi left bare, kneading and kissing and licking, leaving blooming marks all over your skin. Soon you feel a knot form in your stomach, tightening and burning impossibly hot. Hizashi feels your pussy clenching around his fingers and quickens his pace, grinding his palm down against your clit hard and curling his fingers to hit that spot that has you seeing stars.

When the knot snaps you’re falling apart on Hizashi’s lap, back arched and legs shaking. You throw your head back against his shoulder and cry out, pleasure racking your body in intense waves. Hizashi keeps moving his fingers inside you, letting you ride out your high, legs trembling and toes curling with the continued stimulation.

After your release you relax back down, chest heaving with every breath. Hizashi lifts you up and lays you down on the bed, Shouta crawling up over you and kissing you sweetly. He grabs your legs and wraps them around his waist, lining up his painfully hard erection with your throbbing pussy.

“Are you ready for me kitty?” You look up at him through your lashes and nod fervently, needing him desperately despite the sensitivity. He tugs at your collar gently.

“Use your words kitty cat. Are you ready for me?” Your eyes widen slightly and you answer without any real thought.

“Yes Daddy.” Shouta growls at the name and swears under his breath, thrusting his hips forward and bottoming out all at once. The air is punched from your lungs, the stretch around his thick length almost enough to make you cum a second time. Shouta leans down and kisses at the bruises Hizashi had left on your neck, giving you some time to adjust. It only takes a few moments for your walls to stop clamping down on him.

“I’m going to move now kitty. Relax for me.” He starts slow, groaning as he watches his length slide in and out of you.

Your warmth feels so good around his cock, and he moves faster, driving his cock so deep you swear you can feel him in your throat. Hizashi lays down next to you and puts two fingers into your mouth, your tongue sliding over them, coating them in your saliva.

He pulls them out and goes to rub your clit, leaning over and placing open mouth kisses along your collarbone, sucking new bruises onto your skin. Your legs quake with the quick building pleasure, your second orgasm creeping up fast. Suddenly both men stop their movements, Shouta pulling your body flush against him and sitting up.

Lithe, cold fingers suddenly dance around your back entrance, toying with your puckered hole. A single finger pushes in and you mewl and squirm at the new sensation. A second finger works its way in, the two digits working to stretch you gently. Soon there’s a third, and when you’re relaxed the fingers are gone and replaced by the thick head of Hizashi’s cock.

“You ready, sweet thing?” You nod and whine, a little weary but ready to be full of the two men. He slowly inches his way inside, shallow thrusts sinking him deeper until his hips are flush with your ass. Both men pepper wet kisses along your shoulders, giving you time to relax, but you don’t need it. You whine, wiggle your hips in an attempt to get them to move, and they oblige.

Their initial pace is slow, letting you feel every ridge and vein as they slip in and out of you. They build up a rhythm, when one is bottomed out the other has only the tip in, and soon you’re drooling from the amount of stimulation you’re getting. Hizashi’s fingers move down to work at your clit, and just the slightest touch has you trembling. The stimulation shoves you over the edge and has you cumming hard around them, your slick dripping down your thighs. They slow their pace slightly, your holes clamping down on them and attempting to milk them dry. Hizashi’s fingers rub your clit harder, overstimulating you.

“Do you have one more for us baby? I know you can cum one more time for us.” You whine, thrashing in their arms trying to simultaneously get away and tug them closer. Tears fall down your cheeks and a familiar tension fills the pit of your stomach and Shouta leans over and bites down on your shoulder. The pain pulls you over, crying out as you clamp down on their lengths hard. Their hips stutter as they chase their own release, and they shoot rope after rope of cum into you as you ride out your own high.

They still their movements, holding you and each other close. After a few moments they pull out together, the movement making you moan and tremble. Your body goes limp and Shouta pulls you to lean against him, stroking your hair and back. You’re sobbing softly into Shouta’s shoulder, your last release washing over your body almost painfully, your bones already beginning to ache. Shouta rubs your back softly and Hizashi peppers soft kisses along your shoulders, both cooing praises in your ears.

Shouta picks you up and the three of you go over to the bathroom, where Hizashi plugs the drain and turns on the tap to fill the large tub with hot water. Shouta climbs in and sits down, still cradling you, and the slowly rising water begins to soothe you. Hizashi pulls out a tube of ointment and rubs it onto Shouta’s back, relieving the scratch marks you left on him. After tending to Shouta he unlocks your collar and sinks into the tub, leaning against you. You let the two massage you and wash you, bringing you back from the intense scene.

“You okay kitten?” Shouta rumbles into your ear, petting your hair. You nod into his shoulder and grab Hizashi’s hand, wanting to be close to the both of them. The hot water and the care of the two bring you back down to earth, and you start to feel fatigue pulling at your consciousness. Hizashi notices you drifting off and takes you from Shouta. He dries you off with a towel and locks your collar back around your neck.

“Sho, I’m going to take her to bed. When you’re ready come join us.” Shouta hums and Hizashi carries you to bed.

You lay with Hizashi and cuddle into his chest, letting him hold you and rock you as you drift off. After a few minutes you feel the bed behind you dip and look up at Shouta with half lidded eyes. He gives you a peck on the lips before nuzzling against your back. With a long, soft sigh you melt into their arms, content with the new life you’d been brought into.

#erasermic #yandere erasermic #erasermic x reader #yandere erasermic x reader #erasermic smut #erasermic mha #erasermic bnha #shouta aizawa #shouta aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa smut #hizashi yamada #hizashi yamada x reader #hizashi yamada smut #shouta aizawa mha #shouta aizawa bnha #hizashi yamada mha #hizashi yamada bnha

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sitp-recs · 3 years ago

Text

(Perfect artwork for Modern Love, by @cambiodipolvere)

Today is the day of one of my favorite people! And I totally resent @tackytigerfic and Starry for almost sharing the same birthday, god the STRESS 😂 Tacky is my first and closest fandom friend. We clicked together so fast and easy that sometimes it feels like I’ve known her all my life, like we’re two dog moms living in the same neighborhood who happen to read fic in their free time. Despite our conflicting time zones and crazy schedules we manage to chat every other day, tagging and sending each other all kinds of stuff, coming together to cry scream about a brilliant fic we’ve just read or shaking our heads in embarrassment at every other unnecessary bullshit post. Tacky’s bright and wise energy uplifts my spirit even on my moody days, and makes me grateful for her friendship and for this fandom life. Okay so this got long and I had to put the rest under the cut:

It’s such a lovely and precious thing, to have someone with whom you can share every single thought that crosses your mind, your scariest, most embarrassing, petty or disturbing idea, without fear of being shamed or judged by it. I trust Tacky with all my heart to hear me out, share a joke or a piece of advice, even on the (rare) occasions when we don’t get the same perspective - that doesn’t happen often when it comes to Drarry, as we are taste twins!

Tacky my darling, you’re such a good person, and such an incredible friend. Thank you for introducing me to this lovely community, for being my safe haven and your unique self, with so many qualities I admire and feel inspired by: kind, witty, earnest, wise, and so very human. I love your humour and empathy, and your chill yet no-nonsense personality; I love your talent and how articulated you are; I love your passion for Drarry, and how you let this emotion inform the way you navigate the fandom and create for it. And god, but you’ve been creating some of the most beautiful content I’ve seen in these recent years! I’m permanently in awe of your ability to write Drarry in any shape, format or length, transforming even the most ordinary moment into an extraordinary and meaningful piece of character or relationship development. You know how you mentioned yesterday that some authors change the way you feel about a ship in a deep, definitive way? Well, you are that author for me. Your works made me fall in love with M-rated contemplative romance, and also allowed me to fall in love with Harry in a way I never thought it was possible before.

Some people - myself included - got to know you through the fun and intriguing A Lick and a Promise, others through the atmospheric and sensitive Modern Love, others through your contemplative and heartbreaking short form. Each story has its merits and purpose, and all of them share a Tacky trademark: the heartkick factor! Your talent has no limits and goes across different genres and tropes, that you explore with a bold twist full of personality and heart. And even more impressive is your consistency at always raising the bar - every new fic of yours becomes an instant fave and makes me think “wow I thought Tacky couldn’t get better yet here we are”. Seeing how your writing evolves as you find your narrative voice is a beautiful and humbling experience, I feel so lucky!

I’m really grateful for being active in the fandom at this moment in time, because that allows me to read and engage with your brilliant work, and to have you as a dear friend. I can’t wait to see what comes out of your beautiful brain next. It was an impossible job choosing a single fic to rec today, so I decided to do a belated Tacky reclist! Naturally these are my personal and biased must-reads, and I urge everyone to go check these beauties right now. Feel free to include your own favorites too, and don’t forget to leave them some appreciation.

Happy happy birthday my darling Tacky! This fandom life wouldn’t be the same without you. I hope you have the amazing day you deserve!

Between the Power Lines (2020, M, 3.2k)

The road trip fic you didn’t know you needed. I got utterly immersed in the heartbreaking quietness of this, feeling like a witness to an ordinary yet poignant love story. Such tender intimacy, such character development, such lovely American aesthetics with barely any dialogue. This is, IMO, the fic that reveals Tacky’s triumph in storytelling.

Even the Night (2020, M, 3.4k)

This fic has a surreal atmosphere, those Midsummer vibes unbelievably sexy and intoxicating linked to the sensorial experience of fumbling together in the night. Masterclass in tension building, a silky and languid dream-like affair.

Aim for my Heart (2021, M, 3.4k) - Harry/Draco/Ron

One of the most sensitive and stunning portraits I’ve ever seen of a poly/triad relationship, this fic packs so much character and longing! It’s a privilege to watch Ron and Draco’s tentative dynamics through the smitten eyes of the one person that loves them like no one else: Harry.

The Long Fall (2021, M, 3.6k)

I can’t even write about this tender domesticity without getting a lump in my throat. Best opening scene I’ve read in years, and a refreshing way to approach both mpreg and parenthood, painfully honest and lovely. This became an immediate comfort read for me, and it’s probably one of the fics I revisit the most.

Mortal Frame (2021, M, 6.6k)

This thrilling, fast-paced spy story left me breathless since the first paragraph, gods what an immersive ride! I’m so here for Drarry on the run, sharp and urgent with danger but mellowed by the silent trust and tender intimacy only Tacky can master. Major bonus points for the brilliant take on the Horcrux hunt plot line!

Last Offices (2020, M, 6.7k)

Oh, this fic 💔 I tend to avoid MCD but there’s something so deeply fascinating about body washing rituals that I caught myself mesmerized by this. I just couldn’t put it down, so emotionally compromised I felt. There’s a sort of strange comfort in the heartbreak of doing one last act of service out of devotion to someone. This fic inspired so many difficult but lovely feelings in me, and one of them was hope. Only Tacky could possibly achieve that!

Our Little Life (2020, M, 7.2k)

Inventive and singular, this story hit me straight on the solar plexus and left me speechless as I saw the (clever, magical and bittersweet) plot unravel. Such a fabulous take on alternate universes and all the angst potential behind it. Come and bask in the yearning melancholia of a short yet intricate and perfectly executed plot.

And One to Play (2019, E, 21k)

What a fun and delightful fic, I can’t have enough of pining Harry losing all sense of propriety when faced with a hot, competent and pragmatic Draco. This has fab dynamics, unhinged protectiveness, even more unhinged attraction between two idiots who can’t keep their hands off each other. A must-read for any Auror partners fan!

A Lick and a Promise (2019, E, 55k)

Hot, BAMF Professors carefully balancing a fuck buddies situation while solving a Hogwarts mystery, do we need anything else? I certainly do not. This fic is so fun and intriguing and immersive, with amazing supportive cast and a delicious get together feat secret shagging and oblivious pining. Love it!

Modern Love (2020, E, 61k)

My favorite read of 2020, this fic is a love letter to Drarry and will always hold a piece of my soul. Sensitive, wistful, tenderly aching and so very romantic, this is a Muggle Draco triumph with a superb Harry, exquisite slow burn and a side of suds comfort. I promise it will be impossible to listen to Bowie again without thinking of this love story.

Bonus: five stunning drabbles!

Something in the Way (2021, T, 119 words)

“Up,” he said, and Draco, sick with love, raised his arms above his head and allowed Potter to slide the jumper on him, big hands stroking it flat over Draco’s stomach until they both shivered.

Stir-Up Sunday (2020, M, 300 words)

“I want you always,” he said, tugging again on the fine curling length of it. “Is it okay to say that?”

Whalebone Arch (2021, M, 722 words)

“Are you still not talking to me?” Draco steered Harry towards the crisps. “Do I have to suck you off in the loo to cheer you up?”

Semiplume (2021, T, 923 words)

“Did you know,” Harry murmured, and he put his arms around Draco, fearless. “I’d be your mate. If you needed a mate, I mean.”

Relic Radiation (2021, M, 927 words)

“You’ll kill me,” Harry said, and Draco turned his face towards the darkened sky, lunar pale, his profile some stupid unearthly thing—a flaring blazar, a supernova—in the light from the kitchen window.

#drarry fic rec #Drarry reclist #happy birthday Tacky!#fave

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dreamii-yume · 4 years ago

Note

IF YOU WRITE FOR GENSHIN I CAN DIE HAPPY 💖💖💖

THE DARLINGS HAVE SPOKEN. You are the representative.

...Testing...the waters of Genshin Impact..._:('ཀ'」 ∠): Might as well try it on the character that gets lewd less in this fandom lol

I welcome you, Dear Darlings, a Genshin Impact Sinfic written by someone who doesn't play or know anything about the game. I'm just really hornii.

♥︎♥︎ CHONGYUN ♥︎♥︎

♥︎ WARNINGS ♥︎

Yandere | Non-Con | Unhealthy Relationships | Angst | Depictions of Violence

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Darling wanted to be the best friend that Chongyun could ever have, but even someone as kind as her have their own limitations...Too bad she herself didn't know that until it was all too late.

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

The first time it happened, it was an accident and quite frankly...It was your fault.

You already built a fairly decent friendship with the blue-haired exorcist ever since he came up to you, inquiring about evil spirits and such. At first you thought he was just another mischievous kid trying to pull a prank on you, but it soon became apparent to you of how serious he really was. He didn't look like he's someone who can lie about something like this either, with a such straight face nonetheless.

So, you gave me him honest answers about what you know, apologizing when he looked disappointed about it. Maybe it was early at that time where you've already grown a soft spot for the exorcist, lifting his spirits up by suggesting him a place that could very well be a hive of evil spirits. After all, even if you were nothing but a mere residence of Liyue, you were still confident of your knowledge when it comes the nation's different wonders.

...But of course, every other place you've accompanied him to had the same story as the others and thus, no evil spirits were around…Or at least, no evil spirits were around by the time the two of you got there. However, borne out of that journey was a new-found friendship between you and Chongyun, so it wasn't entirely out of naught.

When a bunch of hilichurls appeared out of nowhere coming in to attack the both of you, you were left astonished as the exorcist immediately came diving onto danger himself. With such a huge and heavy weapon, he strikes down his opponents in the most elegant of movements you've ever seen. His Cryo Vision aided him within every attack, giving you a slight attraction in the process and a cool, refreshing breeze drifted against the wind. Suffice to say, you were more than impressed and thanked him whole-heartedly, unconsciously taking his hand against yours out of excitement.

Recalling back, that was the first time you've seen him actively avoiding the trigger for his condition. He retracted his hands away from you, not in rude kind of way but in a genuinely concerned manner. That's when he explained his rare constitution, about his congenital positivity and how this excessive positive yang energy he speaks of can affect him and everything else around him. He told you about what he's not allowed to have or feel; Anything that accumulates heat and strong emotions, even intense thoughts alone are flying triggers.

It was your first time hearing such a condition, so you couldn't say that you understand it very well. But if it was something that he was actively warning you about, you were willing to go with what you understand for now and respected his wishes...Looking back at it now, you wished you could've been more straight-forward and asked him to elaborate even further. Maybe then, you would've had avoided a mistake that would ultimately lead you to an undesirable future.

That future didn't happen until a few months later as you kept contact with Chongyun and often found yourself enjoying spending time with him. Having been born into a simple family yourself, you weren't exactly the adventure type of person. Fighting wasn't in your blood, and you aren't very adept with any weapons, you're embarrassed to even say that you aren't very physically active like most people your age. Adventuring with lacking skills in the great depths of Liyue Harbor, let alone in Teyvat is practically a death wish that you wouldn't want to make. You were just someone who prefers to stay inside and live your life as it is, until Chongyun came in and sparked that sense of curiosity within you.

It was selfish, but perhaps it may be because you were with someone who was chosen by one of the seven Archons, someone who holds the abilities of a protector that you feel a sense of security with. You were finally able to explore the secrets of your nation without having to fear for an ambush or death. But still, as much as it felt nice being able to do such a thing, you couldn't get over at how you were practically using Chongyun's naivety and occupation to go wherever you like. You were essentially taking advantage of his skills, and it just didn't sit right with you...It felt wrong, so you wanted to make up for it at least.

You ended up inviting him to dinner one day, in your very own lovely home to serve him food as a gift. You weren't as talented as the chefs from Wanmin Restaurant in terms of culinary, but you were well enough to put a smile on people's faces. "Ah, but surely you know how my services are free of charges? Compensation is not needed; I only do what I must." You remembered Chongyun refusing your offer at first, his humble self had strike to you as sweet and innocent, but you persisted.

"Then, think of it as a treat from a friend if you will." You kept on insisting, not allowing him to go without even considering your suggestion. A few more convincing later, Chongyun's impeccable resistance finally crumbled down and with a sigh, accepted your tempting offer.

Of course, you made sure to keep his personal body condition at mind, making sure to avoid using ingredients that could harm him physically and mentally. But at this point, you weren't aware of the full extent of what congenital positivity can offer nor realized how serious it really is. You kept obvious ingredients at bay, but naively kept the ones that looked insignificant enough to not be a trigger.

Who knew a sprinkle of grounded black pepper can lead you in such a situation?

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Continue the Spice~?

I was reading @cinnamonest 's Genshin Dicc Headcanons (Chongyun's Yandere Profile in general too (OwO) ) and found myself thinking, huh...Chongyun sounds like he has a really cold dicc and thus, this NASTY was born.

#yandere genshin impact #genshin impact #chongyun #yandere chongyun #yandere #Sinfic

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thebookbin · 2 years ago

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The Sunbearer Trials

Aiden Thomas

Publisher: Feiwel & Friends, Macmillan Genre: young adult, fantasy Year: 2022

Me, every time I read a YA book:

I don’t know why I keep convincing myself to give them a try when I have clearly outgrown the genre. It’s probably the pretty covers and interesting blurbs, but yanno. I apparently can't trust myself. I'm an untrustworthy bitch.

Now, being the extremely gay fantasy-lover I am, when I saw the premise of the book I was immediately like yes. This is exactly what I want from a fantasy, a nonwhite setting with fantastical mythology and everybody's just so gay. But it just... disappointed me on all aspects.

I didn't used to be a prose snob, but now apparently I guess I am. I have just read some works that are so well-written that the more juvenile style of YA becomes grating. There were so many "he explained" and "she retorted"s. In my humble opinion, dialogue tags should only be used when there needs to be clarity over who is speaking. Also, what's wrong with plain ol' "said?" IDK it just takes me out of the story. Instead of focusing on what the characters are saying, I am so focused on these weird descriptors that are all over the place.

There are so many expressions that just come from an undeveloped writing style. "Terror gripped his spine" and "The curve of his muscles" were two phrases that I caught multiple times each, and they were so weird. There is an absurd amount of detail paid to clothes and appearance. It very much gives "secret-novel-I-wrote-in-high-school-that-was-lowkey-anime-fanfic."

First is the introduction to Teo. He is described as a troublemaker, but he rarely causes mischief and when he does, it's caricaturistic. His first introduction, he plays a "prank" on the described "bully." But because we don't get to see Ocelo actually be a bully, Teo becomes the bully in my eyes, humiliating them in front of a room full of gods. But literally as soon as anybody says anything to Teo, he gets so offended and cries. Characters constantly feel like caricatures: Niya is the literal stereotypical Nickelodeon Best Friend, like I'm pretty sure her character is just Sam Puckett. Loud, stupid, strong, and loves food. Aurelio, the strong and stoic type. His sister, the stereotypical high school bully, who is even described with a high pony tail!

There's also this weird hierarchy between types of gods. There are Gold gods and Jade gods. Gold gods are supposed to be "superior." But literally the only person who ever talks about this is Teo himself. It gets to the point where we as the audience start to wonder if it's all in Teo's head. Like yeah, Jades have never been in the Trials before, which means he's never had to worry about joining a life-or-death competition. And then Teo complains about not being allowed to go to the "Academy" (cue eye-roll), which is described as a place of abuse, anyway. Nobody literally says anything about Jades being less than Golds except Teo.

The comparison to Percy Jackson and The Hunger Games is so laughable. Both of those series have a main theme of systems of power being corrupt and harmful to society. But in The Sunbearer Trials the system itself is part of a religious order that is deeply rooted in latine cultures. I mean personally, any religion that requires child sacrifice isn't one worth following, but hey that's just me. But this culture isn't acknowledged as bad or flawed, even by the main character, the so called trouble-maker, the one who can see the flaws in the world, doesn't even have a doubt about the way this world is. It's like if Katniss was from the Capitol or Percy if he was more like Luke.

Just the idea of the entire world relying on teenagers à la Hunger Games but not for entertainment or a grotesque commentary on society but to literally keep the apocalypse from happening is probably the stupidest system for keeping the world from ending ever thought of.

There's just so much to say about this, because I wanted to like it. But the clumsy attempts at prose end up seeming like more of a rough draft for a novel than a complete novel in and of itself. I think I would consider reading another Aiden Thomas novel if it wasn't YA, and had gone through the higher publishing standards of the fantasy genre.

storygraph | bookshop.org | local houston

★★½ great idea but terrible execution stars

#book review #ya books #young adult #books and libraries #the sunbearer trials #aiden thomas #meh #disappointing #iffy writing #fantasy #queer #author of color #author latine #featured #2022 #macmillan #fiewel and friends #two stars #two and a half stars

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sintreaties · 4 years ago

Note

I'm a writer on AO3. I'm good, and I know it, but people don't click Kudo or leave any comments. It made me feel like there was no point in sharing a story no one wants to read.

I understand where this is coming from, but also, I don’t think it’s that easy. It’s true that most people tend to forget about Kudos or don’t care to leave them, idem with comments, and let’s be honest, not everyone is a chatter-box so I can forgive that a bit more. And people’s tastes are hard to predict too! Most of the time it’s just a question of luck in choosing the prompt. I’d like to say that technical skill also has its weight, but seeing how a lot of the works on the main KKG page by Kudos on Ao3 are group chat fics, we both know I’d be lying.

As I only either write for myself or for people that specifically request what I’m writing, I don’t really tend to be frustrated by it. I never wrote for the fandom, nor I ever will because I know that would be a disappointment for both myself and others.

Of course I know that even if I tell you to change your mentality it won’t be that easy. Telling you “it’s just fanfics, it’s not that serious” won’t work either. These are the pieces of advice I can give you after three years in the fandom:

1) observe what the larger portion of the fandom likes in terms of genre. In KKG’s case, it’s often smut, fluff and comedy (not necessarily in this order), with some exceptions for angsty fics like In Bloom (but In Bloom heavily relies on technical ability and on a very experienced creator who’s been writing for more than ten years , so keep that in mind when comparing yourself to others).

Do the same with characters. KiraSaya has the most works in Ao3, followed by Meariri. If you choose a rairpair (like I did) and an odd genre (like I did) to reach the top it will take you twenty chapter (like I did with Of Thorns and Petals, which took two years to gain the main KKG page on Ao3. It still means nothing to me, because I just really liked the story and the challenge, but keep it in consideration). Don’t forget to tag things properly either. It’s necessary for others’ comfort sometimes but also to make it easier for them to find your works if it suits their tastes.

2) interact with the community. Reach out to some creators you like, interact with their works, ask them to collaborate, join a server and let others know you by writing random short prompt for them (of course, be safe when you interact with people you don’t know). This is the hard route to be honest, but although nothing can assure your success, there’s a very high chance you’ll meet wonderful people that share your same passions and struggles and that will add to the fun of creating much more than the occasional boost of serotonin given by random Kudos.

3) I can’t stress this enough, but write what makes you happy. I know this sounds like a pradox after all the rest, but really! Creating is about passion and self-expression. People can see it and in some cases they can fully appreciate it! If you don’t put yourself first you’ll quickly get burn-out, and I assure you, neither you nor your possible readers will want to read a half-cooked fic in your head when you’re too bitter and tired to consider writing at all.

4) this will probably sound very harsh now. When I first became “popular” in the fandom with fics like A Hotel Room I also thought I was good. It took me very little to realize how wrong I was.

Reading the works of someone more experienced and more educated made me realize that my writing was lacking and in no little measure! Little by little I started to correct some of those mistakes and although now I certainly improved I know for a fact that I’m still no New York Times Bestseller writer. That’s completely all right. How am I supposed to improve if I just sit on my (very small, very relative) success?

Writing takes skills, no more and no less than painting. Talent and predisposition are important, but so is practice. Be humble enough to doubt your own skills and to ask others to beta-read for you, asking for corrections and learning from what they tell you (choose people you trust of course). That is how you become good in terms of execution, along with learning as much as you can from others’ works.

5) last but not least, don’t let others and the lack of immediate results demotivate you. You can’t compare yourself to others, most importantly if you don’t even know them. Not everyone is born to be the most talented writer right off the bat. Not every work can be appreciated by the multitude. Luck, practice and passion will help you with all of this, but in the end, you are you and not everyone will agree with what you have to say. It’s okay. As long as you’re satisfied with what you created, that should be already a success for you, no matter how small it is.

That’s all I can give you lol. I hope it helped — if not you, at least whoever needed to be told this sort of things. I know that fandoms and fancreations have become a big part of life for some during quarantine, but don’t stress over it too much.

Feel free to share your Ao3 name and some of your works if you don’t feel too shy, even in DMs. I can’t promise I’ll read them because I rarely have time to read fanfics these days, but maybe I can send someone your way ;)

#writing #fandom #fanfiction #kakegurui #sintreatiesreplies #anon #long post

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sadviper · 4 years ago

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Confessions of a Seducer: Woo Do Hwan Interview with Hong Kong Esquire, July 2018

The time is 9:21 PM. Like any other city, New York is vibrant and teeming with activity after dark. Lights glisten throughout Manhattan. This reporter, Patrick Soon, has an appointment to interview Woo Do Hwan at this time. It feels right to interview him late at night. This year, Woo Do Hwan is still only 25 years old. His drama, “The Great Seducer” is the reason for his recent rise in popularity. In it, he acts as a 2nd generation chaebol who deliberately gets close to an honors student named Eun Tae-hee with the intention to get revenge for his friend. However, he unconsciously becomes attracted to her without realizing it.

Seduction is the theme of this drama series. Woo Do Hwan is its living embodiment.

The night is dark. He arrives on set where the photoshoot is taking place, enveloped with a mysterious aura. The amazing seductive power that he exhibited in the drama is present here, demonstrated to all as he appears in the midst of “Quiet Nights”, a soft jazz melody that permeates the air.

He has a quality that is different from others

We never deviate from the topic of seduction for the purpose of the interview. In Korea, there was a strong reaction to the drama series after it aired. Typically in Korean dramas, the male lead is either entirely warm and loving, or the type of guy who is very strong but is still full of love and righteousness. The type of role that Woo Do Hwan plays in “The Great Seducer” is rare: he’s edgy, defiant, a little bit dangerous, wrapped in an aura that might very well kill you.

This series focuses on the classic kdrama subject matter of upper class angst. Within this structure, he sets new goalposts that redefine the image of a male lead actor--simultaneously cool and fragile, conflicted and gentle.

Following the broadcast of the drama, the positive feedback went far beyond Woo Do Hwan’s expectations. I paid him high compliments, telling him he was the breakout male lead character of the new generation, that this series placed him into the public consciousness of Hong Kong audiences. His expression clearly showed his astonishment.

WDH: “You said that I became an Adonis through this drama. I’m pretty embarrassed--I don’t really know how to respond. Maybe I should just accept your compliments and thank you.”

He humbly smiled and laughed after he said those words. It was like being with two different people; the feeling of someone fresh out of school versus a man with dark powers of attraction.

The drama is full of seduction, danger, and excitement, so I asked Woo Do Hwan if he ever encountered any kind of temptations in his own life. He took the question seriously, and fell deep in thought. Then he replied with a hint of embarrassment, “I have to give it some thought, if you want me to tell you what are the most difficult things to resist. That’s because at different points in your life, different things will tempt you. Lately, the greatest temptation for me is sleep. I was very tired during filming and kept wanting to just pass out. I have to sleep; so more than once, I would skip meals and go straight to bed. I want to perform well, so I try to grab every chance I can get to sleep. That way, I can stay focused and not wander off while filming.”

He likes women who are straight-shooters

In “The Great Seducer”, Woo Do Hwan plays a chaebol heir who at first treats love like a game. But once he starts dating Tae-hee, without realizing it, he becomes deeply attracted to her, only to discover after the fact that he has fallen in love. Not just love; through her, he rediscovers meaning in life.

WDH: “I feel that the character I play is very similar to who I am as a person. When I find my true love, I will give my all for the other’s sake, just like him. I can walk through fire and do anything for her. The most important thing is giving her happiness.”

There is an unspoken rule that women do not like men who are perfect, pure, goody-two-shoes. Woo Do Hwan’s role in the drama, with his aura of mystery and soul-slaying power to captivate, confirms that unspoken rule that men can’t just be normal if they want to appeal to women.

Woo Do Hwan couldn’t help but laugh when I shared my thoughts.

WDH: “Sometimes I wonder whether I’d be attracted to someone mysterious or to someone happy, upbeat, and straight-forward. Personally, if a woman can talk to me about anything and everything under the sun, then I will find her attractive. That’s because heart-to-heart communication is important to me. If she is too mysterious, then I won’t know what to do. She’d give me the feeling of being hard to get close to. So if I were to date, I would definitely choose someone who makes me feel relaxed and comfortable. Any important relationship should have no reservations, pressure, or secrets. There should be no need to hide anything. That’s what I believe.”

Noona romances

Woo Do Hwan’s focus and involvement with only one person is a testimony to how seriously he treats romantic relationships. I listed five qualities that could be used as a new definition for masculinity: Seriousness; the ability to mesmerize; manliness; mystery; and lastly, being easy-going or easy to get close to.

Many kdramas have been using noona romances for their thematic material. As the trend increased in popularity, it caused an upswell in discussions in Korea, opening up a new possibility of redefining masculinity.

WDH: “I also recently found out that noona romances are very popular in both dramas and movies. It’s an interesting phenomena. I don’t think love has anything to do with age. As I previously said, the most important things in any kind of relationship are honesty, communication, and trust. If each party thinks of the other as The One, then age shouldn’t be a factor.”

The father as the role model for your life

Woo Do Hwan’s career is only just starting to rise. He spoke frankly that he didn’t have time for romance at this stage of his life.

There is a movie called “The Divine Fury” that he is about to film. He was cast to play a completely different role from “The Great Seducer”, and will go head-to-head in direct confrontation against Park Seo-joon. In this movie, he plays a Machiavellian character who manipulates and betrays others without hesitation.

WDH: “I’m looking forward to acting this role. I’m so grateful to my family who helped and encouraged me after I entered this career field. My father is the person I admire the most, and my family are the most important people in my life. Since I was young, I already respected my father. Now that I’m an adult, I keep reminding myself to learn from him, and hope that I will become somebody like him.”

The interview is drawing to a close. I said, “You’re absolutely a rising star.” He immediately responded with a humble smile, “If you want to talk about what’s fashionable, let’s talk about local hotspots. If I don’t need to work, I’d ask my friend to join me at the Nanji Hangang Park (a resort area for picnicking and camping near the Han River?). I feel very relaxed in those kinds of places. After camping, then along the way, I’ll visit rooftop bars and cafes in the ___ area (in Cantonese, sounds like “Lee Tai Yuen”). I like to enjoy my coffee or handcrafted beer, and just relax and talk until nightfall. That’s the kind of life that I like.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes: Not my translation, I just bothered someone to give me the rough idea, and I cleaned up the aftermath, chortling over the endless amounts of “amazing seductive power” that Woo Do Hwan was overwhelming this Patrick Soon guy with. Apparently the interviewer was being excessively roundabout in his writing, so I just...made stuff up since I couldn’t verify accuracy, ahaha. I’m irked that this article isn’t on the HK Esquire website, so this is for internet posterity I guess?

Finally, I seriously hope WDH got paid beaucoup bucks for sitting on dumpster lids and bare doorsteps in NYC, my god. ;__;

#woo do hwan #Chinese translation #Chinese interview #Hong Kong Esquire #The Great Seducer #Tempted #The Divine Fury #touching NYC grunge with bare hands and expensive duds #brave man #it said Manhattan #it feels like Brooklyn #interview

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onyourzeus · 4 years ago

Text

in ruins | kyh

title: in ruins pairing: kang younghyun (youngk of day6) & you genre: heavy angst, not a happy ending i’m warning you, small caps words: 4.0k

author’s note: i love hurting myself this way.

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

you thought upon knocking on the door, you’d be greeted by the one person you have been looking forward to seeing all week. instead, an unexpecting friend of his unlocks it ajar, eyes peering over to your figure before realizing who you were.

“wonpil, hey,” you greet him amidst the confused expression on his face. it brings him back to his senses, shaking his head slightly before fully letting the door open. he gulps slightly yet you catch it, but don’t question why he looks.. so nervous.

“is this a bad time?” you hesitate, taking one small step forward as you crane your neck to look around the apartment. wonpil immediately shakes his head again, sidestepping and gesturing his hand over. “no, no! please, come in. make yourself at home.”

“okay, thanks…” you trail off, a small smile on your lips but a certain emotion tugging at your heart. with a better sight of the inside, you notice dowoon lying down on the couch with his phone on hand, seemingly focused on a game that requires both of his hands to control. wonpil closes the door behind you, and excuses himself to the kitchen before asking, “did you want anything to drink? water, tea?”

“i’m okay, wonpil. thank you, though,” you tell him, nodding your head to let him be. as he makes his way to get a glass of water for himself, you walk into the place further, taking in the minimal decorations and a few picture frames hanging on the walls. it’s been a while since you’ve set foot in the dorm, and taking in its unique scent and interior gives you some comfort from the anxiety building up from your stomach.

you tell yourself that’s just how wonpil acts around you when younghyun isn’t around: a little shy, polite, and a smidgen bit careful not to say anything weird. you wish, at this point, he can get used to your presence. then again, you only get to see most of them whenever the bassist invites you over.

“hey, dowoon, what’cha playing?” you attempt to start a conversation, standing next to the edge of the couch where dowoon’s head rested. his sight is obstructed by the screen of his phone, so you bend down to check what has gotten most of his attention: genshin impact.

“ah, jae had told me you rolled a keqing yesterday, that’s pretty cool,” you comment, and dowoon jumps from the sound of your voice so close to his ear. you get up, stepping back while apologizing. “sorry, sorry! didn’t mean to be nosy.”

“no, you’re good—” he starts to say, sitting up from his comfortable position while pausing his game, haphazardly placing his phone on the side. a scratch on the back of his neck, he glances over to you. similarly to wonpil, he looks surprised to see you here. “oh! how’s it going?”

“it’s going,” you reply quickly, realizing more and more it doesn’t seem like you were expected to come. weird, you wander in the back of your mind, younghyun usually gives them a heads up when you’re coming over to hang out or just pick him up to leave.

“did younghyun not say anything today?” an air of silence is felt, and now you’re more concerned when turning to look at his bedroom door— he’s not in there.

“he probably forgot,” wonpil chimes in, approaching the living room as he sets down his glass. “hyung has been really busy lately, so it might have slipped his mind.”

“yeah, yeah. it’s no big deal. you’re always welcome here,” dowoon adds, an encouraging smile appearing on his lips. you reciprocate, albeit a little forced, feeling less sure of the fact that the plans you and younghyun had made and promised to pursue are starting to crumble beneath your feet.

sighing deeply, you grip onto your purse and interrogate further: “he’s not in his room, is he?”

the drummer and pianist steal a glance at each other for a split second, but every detail of their silent conversation is not lost on you. that’s a look of panic, worrying what you’d feel if they told the truth, rapidly forming excuses in their heads they can use to white lie their way out of the situation.

“he’s…” wonpil begins, and dowoon’s ears have warmed up to the tense air looming all over you three. a door to the left creaks open, and for a moment you’re relieved. maybe you were overreacting, already affected by the many times something similar has happened to you, but there was no reason not to forgive younghyun.

however, this time, it’s different. if that’s not him coming out of the door right now…

“hey, i’m gonna go on a run—” sungjin informs his roommates, locking the door in his wake. he finally looks towards the three of you in the living room, and given his certain sense of maturity— and analyzing what’s going on by the awkward expressions painted on your faces, he gives you a wave of his hand.

“hi. you’re looking for younghyun?”

“sungjin, i… yeah. where is he?” you let your breaths stabilize, not wanting to break down in the middle of what once was a familiar space, and is now becoming more and more foreign to you. as wonpil and dowoon remain quiet, pretending to busy themselves with his almost empty glass of water and overheating phone respectively, you keep your eyes on sungjin. begging him to tell the truth.

he delivers, but his stare is hard, almost as if he’s hiding something behind the glassiness of his eyes. “he’s been out for the whole day. he said to not wait up on him since he still has another work schedule tonight.”

as you stand there, knuckles turning pale with the way it holds onto your purse for dear life, you scoff sarcastically. leaving sungjin’s gaze, the anxiety had reached the base of your throat, restricting words of profanities to come out of you like a broken dam.

“you can wait for him in his room. did you text him?” sungjin continues to console you, walking closer but allowing personal space between you. “i can call him while i run, he’s going to get annoyed eventually and pick up.”

“yeah, i’ll do the same as hyung. we’ll blow up his phone so he can come back home,” dowoon joins with a perk to his voice, seemingly anticipating their master plan to succeed. wonpil nods along, but doesn’t meet your gaze, only swirling the remaining liquid in his glass.

“you don’t have to do that,” you let them know as much as your voice can muster before breaking. “i’ll take you up on your offer of waiting for him, if you don’t mind. i’ll call him myself.”

sungjin brings his fingers in between the bridge of his nose, contemplating on accepting the compromise. to hurry things up, you bring a hand to his shoulder and squeeze it gently. he seems to understand as he nods firmly, patting your hand before you let it go.

“okay. let me know if he doesn’t come back in an hour, yeah?”

“yes, sir.”

“do you want some snacks? leftovers? are you hungry?” wonpil goes off with his questions, and it’s an endearing sight to watch him treat you so politely in his humble abode. honestly, at this point you’d rather leave and forget this day even existed— but you needed answers, and you know you’re not getting it from them.

you don’t want to, anyway, because they shouldn’t be involved in this. they don’t need to be. this is between you and younghyun, and if you were to wait for him again, for the longest time— and maybe the last time, then so be it.

you’re not going to leave until you get what you wanted.

“don’t worry about me, wonpil. i’m sorry for intruding on your night,” you apologize, bowing down before him as you make your way to younghyun’s bedroom. thankfully, he left it unlocked, and you swung the door open and close in an instant. with your back on the door, your labored breathing comes back— it took a lot from you to stay calm, collected, and unbothered by what’s going on. you didn’t want to make it a big deal, they’ve seen this before, and it usually gets resolved.

like you said, forgiveness was not an uncommon concept with you and younghyun. you believe it’s essential with how… complicated your relationship is with each other. you’ve fucked up a couple of times, said things that weren’t within your best intentions to, and younghyun didn’t hold grudges because of them.

he would be upset, justifiably so, but after a day or two, you were both back to normal. he reassures you there wasn’t any bad blood, and he understand the frustration himself.

from then on, you tried— really hard not to fuck things up anymore because it’s scary. it’s terrifying to think about the consequences of unwanted words, uncalled for actions with a person whose schedule is jam packed everyday, and his thoughts never ending.

younghyun is always on the run, whether that be hopping from studio to studio or collecting ideas for a new song and another.

it’s not like you aren’t busy yourself, but the degree to which he pushes himself further into his career is miles ahead from yours. and it’s not your place to complain about, it’s your choice to be supportive, though. which you promised. from day one, and he kissed you like it was the one answer he needed to hear.

you miss it. you miss him, his lips, his touch; everything that screamed younghyun, it’s right here. in his room. the only thing missing is the person himself, him.

you walk over to his bed, kept clean and sheets folded. always organized, rarely leaving miscellaneous crap in random places. sometimes it’s intimidating, to visualize the kind of person who inhabits this room, but knowing who he is, you feel safer than insecure here.

walking over to his desk, a black notebook sits atop with a pen to the side. ah, you notice the cap is missing, and you look for the miniscule thing all over the place. you find it on top of his dresser, and quickly put it back in its place.

you guess, there are some things that younghyun forgets, that he misses, but never the big picture.

you’re tempted to turn the pages over, but respect his privacy nonetheless. it might be lyrics he’s not ready to show anyone yet, and you of all people know what it’s like to write something new, a genre you haven’t dipped your pen in yet. it’s quite the daunting experience to bring it into the world, for other inquisitive eyes to read.

most of the time, younghyun’s words are never amiss. in fact, they always fall in the category of perfect, for you. you don’t like to admit that because he will never believe you, so it’s best to keep it a secret for yourself.

you enjoy his new releases better that way, making you feel more special in a sense that you’ve heard his melodies first. you’ve heard the stories behind these metaphors face to face.

you wish you could see him face to face right now.

before you forget, you pull out your phone and pull up younghyun’s messages with you. your text was sent three hours ago, and it was read which made you think okay, he’s seen it and acknowledged the fact that you’re coming over, maybe he’ll reply once he gets a break soon.

he never did.

you scroll up to the previous messages, a lot of back and forth short phrased responses that don’t mean as much as the way you guys would constantly bombard each other with long conversations.

have you eaten? yeah, a lot. you? yup, out with a friend rn. ight, stay safe. u too.

r u asleep? no, in the studio. oh, it’s super late. yeah, working on stuff. alright, text me when u’re home? i’ll try.

he never did.

feeling a tear fall down to your cheek, you wipe it away roughly and begin to type another text.

i’m at the dorm. the boys didn’t know i’d be here. do you remember our promise? please respond.

your hand hovers on the send button for longer than you thought, and you bite your lip in anticipation for a decision so foggy in your brain. should you? should you be this upfront and accusatory? it’s not that bad, right, because he did promise. and now you’re here, the only one taking care of that promise— what’s his excuse?

i’m at the dorm. the boys didn’t know i’d be here. are you coming back soon? is what you sent instead, feeling the lump on your throat getting bigger and your eyes welling up hot, salty tears. you try to compose yourself. sitting on the edge of his bed, hands going over his white sheets as a way to ground yourself.

you can’t cry, the walls are too thin and dowoon or wonpil will know. and wonpil will be too polite to leave you alone, and dowoon wouldn’t know how to confront the situation and just run to his room leaving wonpil by himself.

it felt like forever that you wake up uncomfortable lying down on younghyun’s bed. you blink a few times before sitting up straight, your side hurting from the way you fell asleep on the mattress. you straighten out the right half of your hair that had been messed up having plopped down on the pillow, and look for your phone in your purse.

it has been an hour since you got here, and no new notifications on your phone.

you have had a fair share of getting stood up on blind dates before meeting younghyun, and at one point you stopped caring. boys don’t deserve your tears, you’ve never even met them and if they thought you were fooled by their persona online, then they were dead wrong.

but this is younghyun, the guy who proved himself different. the guy who came to your first date spot prim and proper, an hour earlier than the designated time. to think you were actually going to cancel this one because it was too tiring, too predictable at this point.

but seeing his selfie that day, a table already reserved for the two of you and you haven’t even gotten ready yet, you felt guilty for assuming so wrongly of him.

two years later, you’re thinking you should have listened to your gut all this time.

as you are about to leave and practice what you have to say to the boys in the living room, the door opens and in comes a disheveled looking younghyun. his coat hangs on his arm, his hair a little haggard but his smile soon disappears upon seeing you invading his space.

“oh, you’re here.”

oh? you’re here?

you stand up from the bed, eyes directly staring at him just five feet away from you even though he feels like a galaxy away with that kind of answer.

“did you look at the texts i sent you?” you deadpan, trying your hardest not to seem fragile.

younghyun shakes his head, plops the coat on his dresser and shrugs. “i’ve been busy, did you need something?”

“you don’t remember?”

he stands rigidly, his own fox like eyes avoiding your burning stare. they focus on the wall, with his lips in a tight line.

he looks different to you.

there’s something about the younghyun in front of you that makes you question your presence in his room. and how unwanted he’s making you feel.

“younghyun, what’s going on?”

“what do you mean by that?”

“don’t play dumb with me. you promised, hell, we promised we would see each other tonight,” you remind him, your voice rising a pitch higher and it strains your throat. you drop your purse on his bed, and cross your arms defensively.

anything to make you feel safer in the cold that has entered the room once he got in.

“something came up, i’m sorry. you know how work has been,” younghyun explains nonchalantly, still refusing to see you. refusing to tell you the truth with his eyes.

it’s not enough anymore.

“you could have texted? you could have let wonpil or dowoon or even sungjin tell me that , you’re busy, you can’t even do that?”

“i don’t want to bother them.”

“well, younghyun, guess what? you’re bothering me!” your sudden outburst causes him to turn towards you, eyes wide and brows furrowed.

they definitely heard that, and they’re definitely listening from the outside. but any worries about your image towards his friends had gone out the window by now, only to be left with an ounce of desperation for an explanation. an answer. an apology, even.

he doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, and you’re scared to break off the eye contact at this point. you’re determined to tell him you’re not really mad, just frustrated. you’re not holding a grudge, you just want to hear it from him that he didn’t mean to do this to you. that he didn’t mean to hurt you this way.

your vision gets blurry, but you force the tears to pool over your eyes and not fall down. not right now, not when his gaze is steel and intimidating.

“i’m leaving, stay as much as you’d like but i’m not going to be back until midnight,” he dismisses you, grabbing his coat to bring it with him.

a scorn burns on your mouth, words tasting like lead when you say: “leave, that’s all you know how to do.”

this stops him from his tracks. a pin can drop in the middle of the room, and you still can’t hear it. your thoughts are screaming, a headache forming on your temples not understanding how it’s come to this so suddenly.

you didn’t mean that, but now your tears are saying sorry for you. you sob standing up, arms on either side and hands shaking from the pent up frustration popping out of your veins.

you’re tired, so tired of being the one to adjust. of being the one to stay when he leaves, and foolishly wait for him to come back. only that he doesn’t, and this time he probably never will anymore.

“pull yourself together,” younghyun tells you, tone hinting pity which aggravates you further. he doesn’t look as mad anymore, but his shoulders are tense and his eyes fierce. “we can talk later. i have dinner with heejin and i still need to record kiss the radio later—”

“dinner? with who?” you snap, tears momentarily stopping with the mention of a name you’re unfamiliar of. “when did you schedule this? could it not have waited after tonight when i have been asking you for some time together for this very day?”

younghyun rakes his fingers through already unkempt hair forcefully, distaste in his mouth as he shoots back at you, “i told you i’ve been busy, heejin and i have a song together and it’s supposed to come out in two days so we’re meeting up as much as we can—”

“yeah, okay. over dinner, at a fancy restaurant away from a recording studio, am i right?”

“you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“younghyun, it’s my fucking birthday,” you talk over him, your voice speaking over the loud beating of your heart. sweat drips down your temple, the headache hammering itself on your skull as the tears escape down the surface of warm cheeks. suddenly, you hear yourself laughing. monotonous, without emotion, as you see younghyun’s scowl snap into a look of confusion, then of realization.

“i know what the fuck i’m talking about, brian. and from the looks of it, you don’t. you never did.”

“you should have told me—”

“and i need to remind you of that? after knowing each other for years?” you snap back. the walls vibrate with the volume of your cries, and you hear a knock on the door and a person asking if everything is alright.

younghyun looks back, but doesn’t respond and turns to you with pained eyes, a fine line between guilt and feeling bitter. he knows he should have remembered. besides, your first date with him was on your birthday too.

“enjoy your fucking evening, brian. i’ll see myself out,” you mutter under hot breath, breathing hard and eyes red. grabbing your purse, you walk past the man you thought you knew. and now he just feels cold.

it stings when he grabs you, and he loosens his grip when you exclaim loudly. “brian, stop.”

“i’m sorry. i’m sorry i fucked up.”

“it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“yes, yes it does,” he pleads, pulling you closer to his body. you shiver, not liking the way he presses into you with a desperate attempt to forgive him. maybe if it wasn’t today, you’d drown yourself in his needy touches, inhale the scent you miss having all over your skin, kiss younghyun on the lips and understand he’s human too.

not anymore, not when all the chances you have given him were taken for granted, and there’s nothing left inside of you to give him another one. you’re all out, exhausted from the waiting, the forgiving, the crying. exhausted from it all.

“younghyun, let me go. please. i’m tired.”

he hesitates, but once you pull yourself off him he releases his stone cold grip. your eyes hover downward, face sticky from the tears you have shed.

no more.

coming out of his room, wonpil and dowoon are nowhere to be found anymore. it was only sungjin, sitting by the island counter, scrolling on his phone absent-mindedly. he notices your presence, looks up and offers you that warm smile of his even if his eyes sympathize with your heartbroken gaze.

“i’m so sorry,” he whispers.

you close your eyes, shake your head and offer a grateful smile. for him. “not your fault. i’m sorry you had to hear that. please let the others know i’m deeply sorry.”

“text me when you get home, okay?” sungjin hops off the barstool and places his hand on your shoulder this time, transferring the kind of warmth you have been needing all day, all week.

you know he’s just being kind, roped into the tail end of your disastrous break up with younghyun so you nod once. he doesn’t take it and adds, “i’m serious. if i don’t hear from you, i will text you. multiple times. you’ve seen me do it.”

with no escape from his compromise, you emit a small laugh and firmly nod this time. “okay, sungjin. thank you.”

“happy birthday, by the way,” he consoles you, and you do your best to keep another wave of pain locked up. you thank him, accepting the side hug he offers you, and make your way out the door.

as the breeze outside doesn’t do well in vanishing the evident sadness on your expression. you walk the streets of the city holding in a breath, careful not to attract too much attention to your lonely self.

you get home barely alive, shoes left on the doorstep and your clothes slithered off on the hallway. you text sungjin what he wanted to hear, and once you’ve landed on your bed, you let it all out again.

birthdays were never really a favorite “holiday” of yours before you met younghyun on this very same day two years ago.

it was as if being alive on this earth for another year was a favor given to you by fate, having to know younghyun even more as the days go by past it. as much as he created meaning to your birthday for the past two years, this time, younghyun had destroyed everything you built together.

the pieces are too small, much too fragile to make your heart whole again.

#young k imagines #young k scenarios #day6 imagines #day6 scenarios #young k x reader #brian kang imagines #brian kang scenarios #day6 au #by:jiae

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needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas · 4 years ago

Note

We all know Kohga is perpetually horny as hell, but I'd love to see what would happen if he ended up taking (accidentally or otherwise) an aphrodisiac potion. 😆

I've actually had a thought for EXACTLY this idea! Let's get to it!

Revali had once again invited his friends over to his home. It wasn't to bond with them of course, but rather, as a means to show off how well he re-decorated the place. New tapestry, a nice vase, the whole nine yards, all within his humble little space. He was currently giving the princess a tour, feathers all proud and puffed.

“And as you can see, Princess, THIS is the finest vase you’ve ever seen, have you not?”

“It is quite the collection! Though I must ask, what is that one?”

She pointed towards a small, pink vial of liquid. He plucked it from the shelf, scoffing.

“Oh, forgot I left it out here. It’s what we use during this time of year. We call it ‘anti down’, and it keeps us from acting a fool during heat. All Rito have it, but I refuse to act like a dog and hump everything. Unlike your little knight with Mipha."

Revali HATED that Link STILL didn't react to that blatant slander. Cheeky, even in his own home. Zelda butted in between them, as per usual.

"I had no idea you Rito HAD something for heat!"

"Because we're above primitive desires. Unfortunately our biology is so unique, it does the OPPOSITE effect if any other species takes it. I'll be sure to put this a-NO LINK!"

Link was starting to eat the decorated fruit bowl, and Revali put the bottle down in order to try to pull him off. Kohga watched their dumb little fruit fight, when he noticed the smallest bottle on the counter. Must be one of those fancy rito drinks. He made sure no one was looking, before he swiped it, tucking it away in his suit.

"Hey Revali, I'd LOVE to stay and chat, but uh. I'm bored. So, good luck, and goodbye!"

Kohga gave him a mock salute as a goodbye, though Revali's squawking made sure he didn't hear him leave. Sooga looked down at Kohga, lightly scoffing.

"Those curtains were atrocious."

"He could've picked a better way to come out. Tbh it was more effective than catching him with a dick in his beak."

"Well put, Master Kogha."

He chuckled. He showed Sooga the little bottle, as if he was gloating.

“Plus side, I got myself a little present! You want a swig?”

“Polite pass. I don’t trust drinks that I haven’t seen made, unless made by you. But I must commend your sticky fingers.”

“Hey, you know how good I am with these fingers~. Anyhow, here’s hoping this fucks me up.”

He tossed his head back as he took it in one swig, before shaking his head furiously.

“Oh. Oh. EW. God, YOU make drinks better than this.”

“It must be awful, you hate my drinks.”

“Both statements are true. Ew. Ugh, take me home, I need this taste out of my mouth.”

“Would picking you up make the experience a bit sweeter?”

“Maybe, let’s test it out.”

Kohga grinned as Sooga grabbed his husband, and took him right home. Little did he know, a moment of bitterness, made for a VERY saucy Kohga.

--------------------------------------

Kohga grumbled under his sheets. It was rare, but every once under a blue moon, Kohga couldn’t sleep worth a shit. Tonight was one of those nights. He grumbled as he sat up, folding his arms over his chest.

“Not FAIR. I’m TIRED. What is the issue NOW?”

Kohga threw off the blankets, and saw that he had a bulge in his suit. His frustration melted away to amusement, and he chuckled.

“Ah. Was so grumpy, didn’t notice you there. Alright, alright.”

Kohga thought about bugging his snoozing Sooga, but the poor guy barely got enough sleep as it were. Besides, he needed a bit of self love, been a while. He squirmed out of his clothes, and after grabbing a bottle of lube, got himself nice and snug. He lathered up his hands, and grabbed at his cock, only to wince.

“Ooh, you are SENSITIVE tonight. Okay, easy does it. Easy.”

He got himself used to his touch, and eventually he was able to stroke himself. Unlike Sooga, he always preferred a quick, light pace in his handjob. Kohga tossed his head back, dying in satisfaction. Sure, he wanted to be asleep, but jerking himself off while Sooga rested right next to him? Was it ever sweet. It was surprisingly short lived however, as he found himself cumming way faster than usual. It was good, REAL good, but that was definitely record timing. He sighed, removing his cum soaked hand, and wiping it off on a rag.

“Hoo. That was good. Alright, sleep time.”

Kohga covered himself, and fell right to sleep, the end.

At least, that’s what SHOULD’VE happened. What DID happen was him sitting there, wide awake. He thought it was just his body getting that high from an orgasm, but he’d come to realize that as he sat there, his cock was throbbing, and BAD. It felt even worse this time, and Kohga muttered angrily. Fucking hell, he needed to cum again? So soon? This late? Dammit all.

“Alright. I get it. Round two, let’s go.”

Kohga buried his face in his pillow as yet again, started to pump his cock. It somehow felt even better this time around, and Kohga grumbled to himself, really going at it.

“Shit, okay, gonna be one of those nights apparently. Shit.”

Kohga was trapped in an endless cycle. He’d cum, try to sleep, cum, try to sleep. He reached his fifth orgasm, and his body was trembling something fierce. He was a horn dog, sure, but now he was insatiable. He didn’t want to wake Sooga up, poor guy barely ever slept, especially next to him, but Kohga needed him, and needed him now. He got up from his cum covered spot, and nudged Sooga a bit harshly.

“Sooga, Sooga get up!”

Sooga sprang up, quickly looking around the room.

“What is it?! Are we under attack?”

“No. Just, god shut the fuck up and let me fuck your face.”

Sooga was clearly NOT expecting that, especially so late at night. But he was never one to refuse Kohga. So he laid down on his back, and gave not a single qualm as Kohga held onto his hair, pulled his hair back, and shoved his cock right into his mouth. His Master was aggressive usually, but this was something different entirely. Kohga didn’t even mean to. He just couldn’t help but force himself into that pretty, hot mouth of his. Not once, not twice, but three times. Each time Sooga kept himself still (minus his legs, those pushed and squirmed till he pretty much kicked the sheets off), accepting loads after loads of his Master’s cum, each being bigger than the last. Kohga barely spoke, merely full of grunts and grumbles. Kohga pulled away, seeming to be sated, at least for a second. Sooga’s chest heaved under him, and his cheeks were flushed in embarrassment. He met Kohga’s eyes, and saw helpless, uncontrollable lust.

“M-master Kohga, you’re quite...energetic tonight.”

He paused mid sentence, forcing himself to swallow all that cum, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. He smeared it all over, making himself into quite the messy boy. Kohga took a deep breath, trying to recall just where his head was.

“I...yeah. Fuck you’re pretty like this. So pretty. You handle all that cum like a real champ.”

Sooga was about to thank his master Kohga, before he suddenly found his dick right back into his mouth. Sooga’s mouth loved such rough, desperate treatment, soaking Kohga’s dick in his drool. Another load, then another. Sooga thought he’d be tired, but he seemed to only fuck him with more fury as time went on. As Kohga forced more cum inside of his mouth, Sooga had to actually push him away, just to get some means of air. He coughed a bit, trying not to choke on his Master’s cum. While it was a treat, it was just SO much of it. Sooga swallowed again, shaking as the thick fluid sank right into his stomach.

“M-master Kohga, please, a breather, just for a moment-”

“I wanna ride your cock. I wanna cum on it so fucking hard, Sooga.”

“If...that is what is demanded of me-”

Kohga knelt down to kiss him, shoving his tongue in his mouth and licking at whatever cum he seemed to have left in that pretty, pretty mouth. Usually Kohga was far more grandiose in his approach, but there seemed to be no room for that tonight. It was just him slamming himself onto his cock, nearly making Sooga jump every time his ass slammed into him.

"M-Master Kohga, please slow down! I want to enjoy y-"

"I need your FUCKING cum. I need your pretty cum, right in my ass. Enjoy me later."

Sooga was unable to tame his master. He came on him once, twice, thrice. Each time was met with loads and loads of cum littering his chest and stomach. Kohga laid on top of him, sounding just absolutely exhausted. Sooga held onto his back, assuming this was the end of Kohga’s lust.

"You...god, you're insatiable. What number was that?"

Kohga hummed a bit in thought, before looking up at him.

"T...thirteen."

"Holy-master Kohga, are you ill?"

"Don't...know. I just know I can't sleep, and I know I want you SO fucking bad, Sooga."

"Not sure how much more of me you can HAVE Master Kohga…"

Sooga prided himself in being able to help his master, but this was...so much. His mouth was sticky with cum, his chest was soaked in sweat and cum- he hadn’t recalled the last time he was so absolutely filthy. Sooga was about to prompt Kohga to take a break, when Kohga seemed to spring back to life, cock even harder than he was a second ago.

"Get on your stomach. Let me fuck that cute ass of yours. I always liked seeing my cum leak out of you."

"Master Kohga, I'm honored you want me so, but I think all of this is healthy! Maybe you need a moment to collect yourself-"

Kohga held onto his face, kissing his big, beautiful face. He parted after just a moment, springs of hot cum connecting their open mouths. Kohga nearly shook as he wiped the cum from his lips.

"I NEED you Sooga. I'm aching something SO bad, don't make me suffer like this!"

Kohga sounded damn near to tears in his whining. Sooga couldn’t refuse his poor, desperate master. He rolled to his front, and Kohga was on his back almost immediately, rubbing his cock against that beautiful, plump ass of his. Sooga looked up as Kohga rested his chin on his shoulder, trying to find his thoughts. Despite his concerns, Sooga VERY much wanted him to keep going. Knowing his Master wanted him so hungrily, knowing he was getting cum in every part of him, made Sooga's cock terribly hard.

"J-just. Use me as you see fit, but be careful."

He was going to add more, but Kohga’s teeth aas on his ear, nearly making him melt. Kohga’s breath was hot in his ear, and it made a shiver run up his back.

"It's cute how you're worried about me. It's cute how you'll sit here and let me fucking use you. You look good in my cum. So good. Now, I love you, but stop FUCKING talking, and let me plow you like a goddamn field."

Sooga felt himself gulping at that oh so sensual voice of his. Sooga couldn’t stop that cock just pushing into his ass, even if he wanted to.

Which he absolutely didn't.

------------------------------

"So you and Sooga have one thing in common, apparently."

"We're both handsome?"

Revali had joined Kohga and Urbosa for brunch, and of course, Kohga wanted to start some shit.

"One, don't you touch my man. Two, no, you both make shitty drinks."

Revali cocked his head, clearly confused.

"I...didn't make you a drink, ever."

"Talkin about that little bottle. Tasted like ass. Actually worse, I've eaten ass."

"Little d-YOU took my anti rito down?!"

Kohga shrugged at the sudden anger from the random look of anger.

"Your….what?"

"My rito-its for my HEAT! Dear Hylia you DRANK it?"

"Yeah? Why?"

"It's supposed to help RITO with heat."

"And what does-oh. Oh. Oooooh that makes a LOT of sense. Huh."

"Is that why he's not here?"

"Oh it absolutely is. Dude can't walk."

There was a moment of silence, before Kohga loudly slumped his drink, sighing.

"I fucked him at LEAST thirty two times-"

"NO ONE ASKED."

“He did. Multiple times-”

“Why do I keep inviting you to things?”

#asks #kohga #sooga #lemon #revali #cummies for sooga time <3

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thewayshedreamed · 4 years ago

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An Elriel fic

This fic is set in the “This Time” Nessian AU— Starting with Elain’s birthday party from Part 3. Here’s the back story of those texts that haunted Elain, how the conversation with Azriel went, and mention of the eventual date that Nesta interrupted in Part 6 😉

You can catch up on This Time here!

A/N: It only took an eternity for me to finish this chapter. It’s the first thing I’ve posted that’s Elriel-centric, so I found myself deleting/re-writing to try and get it right. Eventually, I had to cut myself off and just put myself out there, so I hope y’all like how I’ve written them! Shoutout to @keshavomit and @acourtofmarauders whose comments inspired me to share this!!

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Once Nesta dropped her off at her apartment post birthday breakfast, Elain drew herself a hot bubble bath. She hoped the warm water would ease her achy muscles and her unsteady nerves; both from the night before. It wasn’t that she had completely blacked out. She remembered the majority of the night, with only the time after her body started to succumb to exhaustion being a little fuzzy.

She lay back onto the back of the tub, taking a deep breath of eucalyptus scented bubbles and easing her eyes closed. She couldn’t help but reflect over the night, heart swelling with love for her family and friends who had truly made her 23rd birthday one to remember. It was increasingly rare that every one of them were able to get together on the same night, and she was feeling extra loved that they made it out just for her.

She had a few laughs to herself as the memories ran through her mind. She thought of her and Feyre dancing for hours, being joined by the others on and off throughout the night. Cassian grabbing her hand when Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” came through the speakers, spinning her around and singing loudly with her. Her friends keeping her drinks full and making her laugh. Being so excited that Nesta finally joined them for a couple of songs. Spinning into Azriel accidentally and hearing his deep laugh as he steadied her.

And just like that, her thoughts hanged on Azriel; like they always seemed to. She was no moron. She knew they had a natural sort of chemistry, but she always struggled to tell if he truly saw her that way or if he would ever be open to her. She was struck with a memory of him from the night before, something that hadn’t come back to her until now.

——————————————————————————

Somehow, she had ended up near the edge of the dance floor, semi-cornered near a table by Grayson. She remembered being so annoyed that he’d been there and even more annoyed that he was insisting on polite conversation. She wanted to yell at him that she knew he didn’t give a shit how she was doing and that he had no right to know after he’d wrecked her heart a couple of years prior. She wanted to swat at his hands when he would laugh and playfully touch her or reach for her. The alcohol in her system was begging her to do all of it, and she was almost completely convinced. Just one more touch or one more attempt at familiarity, and it was game over. She steeled herself, waiting, until a pair of arms wrapped gently around her waist from behind.

“There you are, love.” Azriel’s smooth, deep voice ran over her, and she relaxed immediately.

He was closer than usual, more affectionate. She realized the show they were supposed to be putting on, and she leaned into him. She rested her head back on his chest, and turned her chin way up to look into his face. He was looking down at her, mere inches away, with amusement sparkling in his hazel eyes.

“Hey,” she breathed, lamely, if she was being honest with herself. She felt the impression of cool glass in her hand and looked down.

”Sorry it took me so long to grab your drink. The bar was really backed up.”

She looked down at the half-empty glass in her hand. Definitely his existing drink. She decided to give him a little hell. Why not? They were pretending, anyway.

“Babe. It’s half-empty,” she pointed out through a laugh.

He narrowed his eyes at her playfully, telling her he knew she was being difficult. “I may or may not have gotten thirsty on my way back to find you.”

“Az, you remember Grayson.” She gestured toward her ex as she spoke. When he looked up, she noticed the tension in his jaw.

“Of course. How are you, man?” He released her waist with one hand, extending it toward Grayson. Grayson only looked at it, ignored it completely, and addressed Elain.

”Really? This guy? You’re better than that.” She felt Azriel tense behind her. Grayson gripped her upper arm, pulling her toward him. “You can’t be fucking serious, Elain. Guys like him are good for one thing. Maybe you can have a few good rolls around in the sheets, but you can’t honestly expect to settle down with a guy like him.”

All too quickly, Azriel’s large hand gripped Grayson’s wrist where he was holding Elain’s arm. There was a layer of darkness to his tone that Elain had never heard.

“Get your fucking hand off of her. Now.” He gripped Grayson harder in warning, but Grayson’s eyes stayed on Elain’s.

“Elain, come on,” Grayson said.

She was fuming. His company had been unwelcome from the beginning. He’d been far too comfortable entering her personal space. He had openly insulted Azriel on multiple levels. He was manhandling her. The words left her before she could stop them, the alcohol delighting that it finally got its way.

“Even if you’re right, he’s the best fuck I’ve ever had and has ruined me for anyone else. So allow me to indulge myself for as long as I feel like it,” she seethed.

Grayson’s eyes widened and quickly narrowed in anger. Nevertheless, his grip on her arm softened, and Azriel shoved his arm back toward his body. He shook his head and walked away, totally speechless.

“You okay, Ellie?” Azriel was in front of her now, looking down into her face. He was running the back of his fingers up and down her arms, and she cursed the goosebumps that erupted over her skin.

“Yeah. I really am. Thank you for coming over. You didn’t have to do that,” she said. She glanced up at him and watched his features soften when he realized she was serious. Shortly thereafter, he started laughing.

“Elain, you can’t just go around saying things like that about me. Word will travel, and I may not live up to people’s expectations,” he joked.

She groaned, feeling guilty that she had completed objectified him without his consent. She leaned into him, resting her forehead on his chest for a couple of seconds before looking at him again.

“I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know what got into me. I just felt like humbling him a little, and I didn’t like how he was talking about you.”

Azriel laughed as he pulled her into a hug, his forearm braced around her neck.

“No apologies, Ellie. Come on. I owe you a drink; you know, a fresh one.”

——————————————————————————

Elain’s eyes popped open, and despite the heat of the bath water, she felt herself flush further at the memory. He hadn’t seemed bothered, but holy shit. Who would take it upon themselves to call someone “the best fuck they’ve ever had” when they’d never so much as hugged long enough to be considered intimate? Gods above.

She was obsessively thinking about her deleted messages again. She grabbed her phone off the side of the tub, hoping that when she opened her messages app, all of her texts would magically reappear. They didn’t, just as they hadn’t the other 15 times she’d done it that day.

She removed the plug from the bathtub, letting the water out and begging it to take all her memories along with it. She toweled off, put her lazy Sunday clothes on, and padded out of the bathroom.

She was startled by her phone ringing and dragging her back to the present. To her absolute horror, Azriel’s name flashed on her screen.

She steadied herself before she answered. She was glad to hear that her voice sounded as if she were a perfectly stable person.

“Hello?”

”Hey, Ellie. How you feeling today?” he teased.

Hungover. Fucking mortified.

”About how you would imagine,” she laughed. “What’s up?”

”I wanted to check in on you. And I wanted to see when you would have some free time to meet up. I still have your gift,” he explained.

Of course he’d gotten her a gift. Because he was wonderful. And she’d treated him like a glorified escort. She answered him before she lost her nerve.

”Oh. You didn’t have to do that, Az,” she paused. “What about now? You could come by?”

It took him a couple of seconds to respond. “Um, sure. Yeah. You know, it doesn’t have to be today, though. I didn’t mean to impose or anything.”

Shit. Was she too eager? To hell with it if she was. Waiting would kill her.

”You’re not! Really. I’m just being a bum on my couch today. I’d like the company,” she replied.

——————————————————————————

After about thirty minutes, Elain was convinced she was being stood up. Maybe he didn’t have the heart to tell her he wasn’t wanting to see her today. She was about to draft a text to him before she heard his knock on her apartment door.

“Come in!” she called. She had unlocked her door during her fitful pacing minutes ago.

He poked his head in before opening the door and stepping inside. The sunshine flowed into the apartment behind him, and for a second, she was almost convinced that he was superhuman. His dark hair was damp and brushed haphazardly to the side, and she couldn’t help thinking about how unfairly attractive he was. He was wearing a black v-neck with black jogger sweats, and his scent of cedar and mist washed over her as he plopped on her couch.

“You look way too alive and well today. Seems a little unfair,” she pouted.

He breathed a laugh as he turned toward her. “Some of us drank water throughout the night, birthday girl,” he teased as he tapped her nose with his index finger.

“Hey!” she exclaimed in faux annoyance. “I drank water. Maybe it was today, but I did.”

He tapped her knee with his hand, and she swore she felt it throughout her entire body.

”I’ll be nice. I’m here bearing gifts, after all,” he replied.

She thought back to the night before. The memory of their bit with Grayson, her deleted texts. She thought of Nesta’s words of advice that morning to ask him about the only remaining text she had: his reply. It was now or never, she supposed.

”Before you give me my present...” She bit her lip. “...can I talk to you?”

She watched his eyes land on her lips and jump immediately to her meet her stare. His brows furrowed in concern.

“Of course, Ellie. About anything. You okay?” His words, so similar to those he asked her last night, flooded her nerves all over again.

“I woke up this morning to a really confusing text from you. Not that what you said is confusing necessarily, but apparently, I deleted all of my texts last night. I must have done it right before you responded, so I have zero context to our conversation.” She could feel the heat of her blush on her chest, her neck, her face. She wanted to be literally anywhere else. She showed him the text for frame of reference.

Azriel: 😂 Not cool. You had me worried there for a minute, Ellie. Goodnight. Hope you enjoyed your birthday.

She watched his eyes scan the text, his lips spreading into a small smile. He wasn’t speaking soon enough for her liking.

”Oh. That. We had been texting a little at the table right before you left, but at some point between you standing to leave and getting home, you sent me this.” He scrolled through his phone until he landed on her message. He turned it to her so that she could read it for herself.

Ellie: I’m v mad at you Az

Another one, several minutes later.

Ellie: Nvm talked to Nessie. We’re good. Night 😘

Cauldron, Elain. Kiss emoji, really?

The only other message was his response that she’d already shown him.

She shook her head. “I have no idea what that’s about. What was I saying before that?”

Now it was Azriel’s turn to blush, the tips of his ear turning a faint pink. “Oof. I don’t know if sober me feels as bold as the drunk me in those. I think I’ll just keep those tucked away.”

She blinked at him and his nerve to insinuate he was going to keep them from her.

“Azriel Spion. You better show me those texts.”

”Mm. Don’t think I will, Elain Archeron.” His blush spread to his cheeks.

She lunged for his phone, but he dodged her at the last second. He lifted it into the air out of her reach, her body sprawled across his lap. Elain with less adrenaline would have been mortified to find herself there, but this was critical information. She pushed herself back onto her knees, reaching for the phone in his outstretched hand. He evaded her yet again.

”Why are you so giant? For the love of the Mother, just let me see!” she exclaimed.

”No! It’s not my fault you deleted yours,” he retorted.

She knew she would never be able to overpower him, and he was too stubborn for her to talk him into giving in. She landed on torture, hoping it would work in her favor.

She stopped reaching for his phone and instead turned her hands to his torso. His position left his underarms wide open, and she took her chance, hoping he was ticklish. Otherwise, this would only be even more awkward than it already was.

To her absolute delight, Azriel yelped in surprise. He immediately snapped his arms to his sides as he tried, and failed, to hold back his loud laugh. He tried to move away or grip her hands, but doing so would mean he would have to shift his arms. His body wouldn’t allow it.

“Elain!” he bellowed. “Stop it. I said STOP.” He let out another loud belly laugh, and Elain fell a little bit harder at the sound. It was one of the most precious things she had ever seen. Azriel, who was always so reserved, so dry, letting out such a loud, deep laugh felt like an honor to witness.

”Not until you show me those texts! They’re just as much mine as there are yours!” She had to raise her voice over his laughter, the words coming out through laughter of her own.

“You didn’t keep yours,” he said through clenched teeth between laughs. “Not. My. Problem.”

She pushed her fingers in a little harder, and he yelped again, dissolving into laughter once more.

“Fine! Alright!” he yelled. “You win!”

He tossed his phone on the cushion behind her. She stopped immediately to retrieve it, leaving Azriel spent and gasping for breath next to her.

“You tiny, brutal woman,” he breathed, eyes locked on her.

She waved him off, scrolling up through his messages to the beginning of last night’s conversation. The first messages were mild enough. She thanked him for her birthday drink, for saving her from that conversation with Grayson, for humoring her with a slow dance despite the fact that he wasn’t one to dance much. His responses were polite and friendly, barely on the flirtatious side. She was about to toss his phone into his lap and call him dramatic before her eyes landed on a message that sent her pulse through the roof.

Ellie: That feels nice. Thank you 😊

A: Anything for the birthday girl.

Ellie: I mean, I can’t believe everyone hasn’t offered to play with my hair. Seems a little rude.

A: Very. I guess you’ll have to get new friends.

Ellie: Except you. You have to stay 💕

A: Like I said, anything for you.

She shot her gaze up to look at Azriel. He was watching her with the focus of a surgeon, scanning her face for any reaction. She was doing the same to him. She had a vague, fuzzy memory of sitting next to him in their booth for a portion of the night and assumed that’s when these had occurred. They had likely resorted to texting considering their friends’ nosiness. There were more messages, the time stamp about thirty minutes later.

Ellie: Stop being so nice to me. I’m going to fall in love with you.

A: Promise?

Ellie: 😅 Very funny. You’ve been warned.

The rest were the ones she’d already read about how she was mad at him, whatever that meant. She could hear her own heartbeat; feel her blood pressure in her gums. She knew her blush was at an embarrassing level, and she had to take a couple of deep breaths before she looked at him again. He was still looking at her, an almost pained expression on his face.

She cleared her throat. “So. Did you?”

”Did I what?”

”Stop being nice to me,” she murmured.

”No.”

She locked his phone and handed it back to him as she settled into the cushions. She wanted so badly to close the distance between them, but she knew she’d already pushed him beyond his comfort zone. His answer spoke volumes if she was interpreting him correctly, but she was terrified to find out. She decided to stay the course, keeping the focus on her deleted messages.

“I guess I should check in with Nes. Just to see what I was mad about,” she said quietly.

”I talked to her this morning,” he murmured.

Her eyes locked on his yet again.

”And are you going to tell me?”

”Do I have a choice? You’ll torture it out of me otherwise,” he joked. She was grateful for the laughter as a break in the tension. He cleared his throat.

“You told Nesta you were mad at her, too. When she asked why, you told her it was because she and I are such close friends,” he said. He glanced at her, giving her a chance to react.

“Why would I care about that now? I only know you because of your friendship.” She was so tired of being lost, of being the only one who didn’t know what was happening.

His voice remained quiet and even, as if speaking any louder may scare her away. “You told her it was because I would never look at you. Because you’re her little sister and I was considerate and wouldn’t want to make her mad.”

She swallowed thickly, hoping she looked more put together than she actually was. “And what did she say that made me so quick to drop it?”

That evoked a small laugh and the sound of it made her want to curl into him. “That I’m not scared of her in the slightest,” he began. “And that I was basically the only person she would find worth of you.” His blush deepened as he finished.

She nodded, processing his words. Her mouth was dry, and she was totally speechless. The distance between them was almost painful now, but she was so terrified to make him uncomfortable and potentially ruin their comfortable friendship.

He shifted on her couch, scooting a little closer to her. She was still facing him, her legs curled under her and her elbow settled on the back of the couch. She propped her head on her fist and fixed her gaze on his thigh, an inch away from her knees.

“When I told Nesta that I’d deleted my texts, she told me to talk to you. That you would be understanding.” She glanced up at him. “I basically bit her head off. But it’s because she knew without a doubt that you would understand, isn’t it?”

”She’s known for a long time how I feel, Ellie. Without me having to say a word.”

All she could do was nod. He shifted forward, turning his attention back to the reason he’d come over.

”Az, you really didn’t have to—“ he interrupted her my lifting a scarred finger.

”None of that. I wanted to, and I did.” He placed an envelope in her lap as he ran his hand through his damp hair.

She opened it, scanning small documents inside to figure out what he had gifted her. Two tickets to see the Velaris Philharmonic Orchestra. One of the first true conversations they’d had, she shared with him that she wanted to go one day. With the hustle and bustle of life and the expenses that came with it, she’d never gotten around to it.

True to her sensitive spirit, tears brimmed her lower eyelids. She was so touched that he remembered but simultaneously felt guilty that he’d spent so much on a gift for her.

“You can invite who you want to. I know Nesta has wanted to go, but you can bring a friend, too. I just wanted to make sure you had company. It didn’t feel right to give you a gift where you’d have to go alone.” Her heart melted at his rambling. Azriel never showed his nerves, and he had let that wall down for her several times today.

“Azriel.” She glanced at him, willing him to look at her again. His elbows were resting on his knees and he’d been staring straight ahead as he spoke. He finally turned his head toward her, his onyx hair brushing across his brow. She leaned forward, resting her chin on his shoulder as she took in his elegant bone structure.

“Thank you. I love it more than you know,” she whispered.

His eyes lit up at her words, and her chest squeezed at how much joy it brought him to make her happy. His eyes fell to her lips, and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched him wet his own. He brought a scarred hand up to cup her cheek and pulled her face even closer to his, using his thumb to pull her lip from her teeth. She gasped softly, and he pressed his full lips softly to hers. She leaned into him, letting out a small whimper when his grip tightened slightly on her cheek.

Something shifted in him at hearing her whimper into his mouth, and he sat up to orient his body toward hers. He deepened the kiss, then hooked his hand behind her knee to pull her over his lap. She settled into him, moving her hips against his, and he let out a low groan as she moved.

She pulled back from his kiss to look at him, still a little in disbelief that this is where their day had taken them. She ran her fingers through his hair and watched as his eyes fluttered shut. He let out the most indecent moan, and it took everything she had not to slant her mouth over his again.

“What are you doing Thursday?” she asked.

His eyes popped open, still a little glazed over from the heat between them. His hands were under her sweater, thumbs tracing small circles over her ribs.

“No plans, why?”

”A very dear friend of mine gifted me two tickets to see the orchestra, and I’d really like to take you on a date, if that’s okay.”

He smiled at her, his eyes turning up at the corners as he looked at her. “I would say I feel bad for the guy, but there’s no way I’m missing that,” he replied, his lips brushing hers as he spoke. “I’ll be sure to pull out my best suit.”

Her returning smile was so broad, it almost hurt. “Perfect. I can’t wait,” she whispered as she started to rock her hips once more. His lips crashed into hers then, their conversation over for the time being.

Before she lost herself in him completely, she had one fleeting thought as she reflected over their earlier words. “So, did you?”— “Did I what?”— “Stop being nice to me.”— “No.”

It looked like he was hell bent on keeping it that way, and she knew she was beyond screwed.

She was already in love with Azriel Spion, and even still, he was never going to stop being nice to her.

——————————————————————————

Well, there it is! A brief timeline note: Nesta’s phone call falls on that Thursday, during their post-date sleepover. I hope y’all enjoyed it!

Tags (This Time taglist + masterlist):

@polireader // @lord-douglas-the-third // @justgiu12 // @notyournymphetish // @sjm-things // @strangeenemy // @iammissstark // @keshavomit // @sjmships // @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks // @dusty-lightbulb // @texas-shaped-waffle-maker // @julemmaes // @charincharge // @superspiritfestival // @awesomelena555 // @sleeping-and-books // @hizqueen4life // @maastrash // @bookstantrash // @rhyswhitethorn // @grace-k-sterling // @sayosdreams // @sis-it-dont-add-up // @b00kworm // @courtofjurdan // @sannelovesreading // @acourtofmarauders // @candice-dick-fit-in-your-mouth // @gisellefigue08 // @girl-who-reads-the-books

#elriel #elriel au #elain archeron #Azriel #acotar #acomaf #acowar #twsd writes #twsd fics #this time au

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darrenhayesoneandonly · 4 years ago

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OMG! This is the most beautiful post from Darren Hayes I’ve seen! And that’s almost impossible!

“This photo was taken four years ago. It's me with my beautiful goddaughter Lilah. I've never shared a picture of her face for privacy reasons - but she's in kindergarten now so it's all good. I'm sharing this picture because, besides the day I married Richard, it's one of the happiest days of my life. A lot of people understandably wonder what the hell I've been up to for the past DECADE (gosh, has it been that long?) - and the truth is, she's been a huge part of it. I have had the privilege of babysitting her one day a week for the first few years of her life, and then spending an afternoon a week with her with her, most weeks since. The story behind how this came to be is wild! It's long so buckle up...

In 2012, after finishing the last show on my 'Secret Codes and Battleships' tour, I distinctly remember leaving the stage and I knew I was going to go away for a long time, maybe forever. I didn't know. I just knew that the music industry as it stood at that time had changed to the point that I no longer fit - and I was very sad. I'll tell you more about that in the future, but all you need to know right now is that for the first time since I was 16 I realized I had stopped dreaming. I'd stopped planting those seeds that come to fruition. So as I sobbed in my husband's arms backstage, and as the days afterward eventually turned into a lovely sleepy vacation - I had an epiphany: I needed to live.

I had never stopped writing and recording, touring and promoting. Not since 1996.

So we decided to go on an adventure.

We left England and moved to the USA in 2013 with zero plans. AND IT WAS TERRIFYING. But also ELECTRIFYING. I decided to do anything BUT music. You can imagine I got bored immediately and that's when my ex-theatre director husband suggested I take an improv class. His reasoning was that I am an artist, I loved funny people and people thought I was funny and that I might enjoy doing something anonymous and low risk that would expand my horizons and let me PLAY. I often talk about 'best decisions' in life. Auditioning for a shitty covers band where I eventually met Daniel Jones? Great decision. Making 'The Tension and the Spark' that got me dropped by Sony but led to me meeting my husband? Great decision. Doing improv comedy for the hell of it? Great decision. I met all of my best friends I have now in the USA - and.. the father of my goddaughter.

I spent 3 years at The Groundlings Improv school. It wasn't easy! I had to audition to get in, I had to pass every level and eventually I had to pass or fail each level to advance to the final level which is their writer's lab. The end goal for me was never to get into the company or get on Saturday Night Live (which is where many of the cast started) - but it was SO NECESSARY for my soul. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to be in a room full of strangers who had no idea of my past career. Most students were 25 year olds who had no clue who I was. I often laughed when I'd get praise like, 'Wow, you're pretty confident on stage' and I'd remember those special moments like singing with Pavarotti or performing at the Olympics and I'd secretly think, 'Yep, I've had a little experience'.

I was so humbled by comedy. I loved not being the best at what I was doing but having to earn my praise. I loved earning respect from the ground up. Mostly I loved meeting my dear friends.

It's how I got a message from the funniest, coolest most talented writer and improviser I knew, Johnny - who was answering an ad that I had put on Facebook looking for a keyboard player who wanted to join me to create a farcical dinner duo, playing restaurants for real, but in full character. Thankfully Johnny hated the idea but asked me if I'd ever thought about writing a musical. We ended up working together for years, writing songs and a book for an original musical and in the process, became great friends. One day, he told me he and his wife were expecting a baby and..

So that's how I ended up being godfather to a 4 year old who lights up my life That's how I got back to myself, it's how I managed to retain the magic inside me that I had lost for a little while.

I haven't always shared every detail of my private life - I am a 3D person beyond social media - but I wanted to give you a window into my world outside of the occasional tweets or instagram posts about my insane exercise goals or my adorable labradoodle. I'm always dreaming, I'm always living a high definition life beyond the computer screen. If you're someone who follows me closely you already know the answer to the question I often get asked which is 'Why did you quit music' or 'When will you come back' It's so crazy to me, because I didn't quit. I have never stopped making music. I have never stopped having singing lessons! I just haven't put a record out since 2012.

I love you.

(There's two pictures of me with Lilah, and a very rare picture of my super handsome husband, Richard, with her)”

#darren hayes #darren hayes of savage garden #omg this #so beautiful post #beautiful photos #i’m melting #that’s why we love Darren so much #adorable #he’s amazing #I’ll follow you to the ground D #always your fan #savage garden #new photos #love him

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barbika1508 · 5 years ago

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Protecting my nation (Peter Pevensie x Reader)

Words: 6,5K

Genre: Romance, Smut, PWP

Pairing: Peter Pevensie x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, and basically sexy times

Summary: The story takes place around the time when the giants wanted to invade Narnia. One day in particular when the High King was in the very front of the forces, there came a close call that almost cost his secret crush her life, which later on that night revealed to be not a mere crush but, full blown love.

‘’What the hell were you thinking?!?!’’ his voice by this point is literally booming, even though we’ve just entered his tent, I feel like the tone he is using is thunderous in the seemingly quieter camp ‘’What in Aslan’s name possessed you to do such a stupidity?!’’

I want to remark something in return as ‘Pure adrenaline.’ but I hold myself back, knowing he’s going to lose it even more, given that he’s pacing up and down already while I make my way to the table in the middle of the makeshift room. Tugging one chair out I lower myself down on it carefully, mindful of my body that is aching in some parts more than others ‘’You were busy in the front, Ed had his hands full, somebody had to protect him while he had your back.’’ I reply instead, reaching for the laces of my boots. They are still dirty from the battle my movements coordinated in a way as if I have my armor on, which does make me realize when I bend down that the protective metal layers have been removed. But after wearing it so long, the ghost feeling rarely leaves me.

‘’That’s not your job.’’ Peter suddenly stops pacing and stares as me incredulously, red in the face. Yes, that’s how much angry he is.

‘’All is fair in love and war, my dear king.’’ I reply kicking off one boot ‘’It’s not like I had much time to think.’’

My eyes immediately dart up to him as he’s nodding already ‘’Exactly!!! This is the exact same reason why I didn’t want you in the front lines. You are a good archer you should have kept to your strengths.’’ At this my eye twitches, once the second boot comes off.

I place my hands onto my knees and give him a hard look as he continues to glare at me. I don’t miss the cut over his eyebrow that looks unattended.

‘’My strengths?’’ I start trying to calm down my breathing, while he nods firmly crossing his arms still standing across me holding his distance ‘’You know I’m one of the bed swordswomen in Narnia. I’m a decent archer. And we both know where my strengths lie don’t demine me like that, Peter.’’ I hold my calm even though I am brewing with anger.

‘’Its not undermining you Y/N, there’s an unspoken but well-known reason why we won the first battle.’’ He snaps back, going completely cold as if I’m his enemy. It does sting the way he is treating me.

‘’I’m glad you are pointing that out. I should keep humble my deepest apologies sire, oh great High King is acknowledging the strategy that I came up with worked, and we’ve ended up victorious but oh no that is not enough! In return I’m receiving anger, frustration, brattiness and ah yes pride if I may be so bold to point out, your highness, may I suggest banishment as punishment?’’ The last part I practically hiss glaring at him, as he plops down onto a closed chest, to start undoing his own footwear. But he stops after the second word left my mouth, to stare at me as if I have grown two heads.

‘’One recent victory does not ensure a winning streak, even if you may have been blessed by lady luck itself. It is exactly the reason why we think before we act my lady and not the other way around.’’ he goes to angrily undo the laces, letting silence fall. Its odd given the tension that surrounds us. I glare at him for a moment longer, but avert my eyes onto the map and plan that’s laid on the table with chess like pieces on it. We are close to the giant’s stronghold, or what used to be a giant’s stronghold. As far as we know it’s all in ruin, and the once supposedly friendly giants are now unruly and pose a threat to Narnia. Hence the war, and our reason of being here, and the reason why we are arguing right now.

I sag back against the chair, placing my dagger that I have always on me on the table to get more comfortable. My sword I’m missing, the heavy but familiar feel of it being strapped over my waist and it resting over my right hip gone, as it has been handed over to the blacksmith to sharpen it for tomorrow.

Reaching forward with my right hand, I rearrange a few pieces up and down over the map. Even though we didn’t lose, we didn’t exactly end up victorious. Yes, a few giants fell but we’ve lost brave men as well. The events of today are catching up to me, my mind processing the imagines, sounds, smells, everything while my body is already feeling the consequences aching all over, limbs feeling heavy, small wounds prickling now and then, bruises I’m sure blossoming.

‘’Pete.’’ I find myself saying in a gentle tone, sparing him a glance while I play with a lion’s piece between my fingers of my right hand. He doesn’t look up to me, he continues to read a scroll instead which he took from the same chest he has sat himself on ‘’There’s a reason why Ed accepted me to join his council.’’ He doesn’t move at all, or indicates he’s acknowledging my words ‘’And why you’ve knighted me.’’ his eyes are still scanning the page ‘’I didn’t come to Cair Paravel, to wear dresses and mingle with people, Peter I came there…’’

‘’You came because you wanted to protect your country.’’ He interrupts expression void of emotions as he glares at me jaw setting tight once he stops speaking ‘’You came because you lost everything, and you don’t want anyone else to experience that. You were accepted because of your intellect, your skills and thirst for knowledge. You were promoted because you showed potential and passion. So why the fuck aren’t you using nether of all the things I’ve counted?’’ he’s cracking getting angrier again.

‘’Because my passion is what guided me.’’ I snap in return gripping onto the chess piece tightly as I match his stare which so many avoid and wish they would never experience. As much as the High King is beloved, is kind, generous, a good man, he can be hard and harsh with truth and justice when he needs to. And it’s those types who always smile, that are the most terrifying when anger steps in.

He opens his mouth to say something but I’m quick to add my own thoughts ‘’Call it blind devotion to my king…’’ he stands up looking imposing even though he’s across the tent ‘’…loyalty that knows no bounds…’’ I continue as he steps forward a calculating glint sparkling in his eyes ‘’…looking out for a fellow soldier in a life and death situation…’’ he’s getting very close and to be honest the way he is stoically holding himself its terrifying but I need to get this out of me before he can start going on about how wrong I am ‘’…or take it as someone who loves you, and wouldn’t be able to live a day without you, and wanting to simply protect you.’’ I blink quickly hating that these emotions are bubbling up so easily. I was so determined a second ago, ready to mouth him off to get my point across and now I’m getting scared with a mere thought of seeing him hurt or worse.

I bite onto my lower lip not wanting it to tremble. I bet my glossy eyes, give it all away thought hence why I avert my gaze, readjusting body language squaring my shoulders and sitting properly in front of my king who I won’t question with whatever punishment he is going to give me. His hand reaches forward, fingers calloused but gentle when they come in contact with my skin, the tug gentle as he has me lifting my head up to look at him his gaze already fixated onto me, face still void of emotions. But I can see his own eyes are glossy.

‘’I’m not mad because you protected my brother and me.’’ he speaks voice gentle giving me hope even though my thoughts turn pessimistic ‘’I’m scared that the next time you won’t be so lucky Y/N.’’ he admits surprising me genuinely. Anger I understand, specially his frustration with my actions. But fear? That’s puzzling because I feel it whenever he goes to war, or into uncertain situations. I know how that feels, and I barely can handle it. But I didn’t imagine he’d feel it ‘’I’m scared that…’’ his voice cracks, which has him averting his gaze and then suddenly kneeling down between my knees, taking both of my hands into his, his thumbs caressing my bruised knuckles gently.

‘’I’m scared that I’m going to lose you.’’ He admits eyes getting teary as he stares at me finally eye to eye ‘’That I won’t be there for you. You are an amazing warrior Y/N, you are. It’s why you’re so highly regarded. You must understand why it’s so frustrating when you act impulsively. I can’t lose you either. I can’t.’’ He leans forward arms going around me, as he rests his head in my lap.

I am completely speechless by this point, but automatically place my hands onto his head, slipping my fingers between his dirty blonde locks to scratch at his skull, while he tries to steady his breathing. It goes quiet once more, leaving us in dangerous waters; we are left with own thoughts.

‘’You can’t expect me to stay at Cair every time something goes wrong, especially if its life threatening. Its not in my nature to play politician, or stagiest. I want to defend my nation too. In as many ways as possible.’’ He pulls back, looking up at me sighing deeply. He doesn’t say anything in the beginning he just stares at me as if he is taking my features in trying to engrave everything into his brain. He looks so handsome…he always looks handsome. His eyes seem like two diamonds sparkling from the dimly lit torches carefully placed around the tent. He has a few light scratches on his cheeks, along his jaw and the small gash over his eyebrow which I’ll need to tend rather sooner than later. But no matter the scratches or bruises, he is still the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in my life. After the horrors we’ve seen today and the anger that overtook him, he’s treating me like a flower, hands placed on the low of my back, fingers gently running in circles.

‘’So, it’s that why you throw yourself in front of your King every time there’s an ounce of danger in sight?!’’ he asks eyes not moving away from my own ‘’Is that one of the ways that you are protecting your nation?’’ I cannot read him, or what’s going through his head but knowing him for years, I have an idea and I want to smile because he is of course going into the wrong direction with his thoughts.

Lowering my hands from his hair, I caress his cheeks gently cupping them holding his head at a still waiting for anything to change in his expression for a moment. I wordlessly at first lean down, still watching him carefully, but he remains stoic as if he’s given up on something ‘’You could say that.’’ I start feeling how his shoulders sag in disappointment and I feel him wanting to pull away but I inch closer not allowing him ‘’But the truth is, king or not I’m in love with you.’’ Its almost comical how his eyes widen as he looks at me frozen on spot, eyes turning into a puppy look (kicked puppy).

‘’I’m not that chivalrous, I love my nation I want to protect it as best as I can. But I love you the most, Peter. High King, knight, emperor those are just titles that you’ve earned. Magnificent. You are all that, but that is not the man who I feel in love with. I feel in love with Peter Pevensie, the boy that became a man who took it upon himself to teach me a mere simpleton how to earn respect not with fists but with words.’’ Now his lower lip is trembling and I just want to kiss him all the more ‘’The man even though he has a nation to rule, takes his time out of his already always busy days to visit me, across the castle just to wish me good mornings, or good luck for meetings, or just to make sure I’ve eaten.’’ I pause leaning my head down, resting my forehead against his as he closes his eyes, so I press a kiss to his forehead ‘’That is why I did what I did. And I’ll gladly do it again. You are my whole life.’’

Ignoring the voice in my head that is shouting to be patient I lean down, pressing my lips against his slightly chapped ones. He sighs in relief and leans into it, hands holding onto my hips firmly as if he is steadying himself. Now it goes eerie quiet as I lean back a bit, hoping he doesn’t hear how my heart is beating in my chest.

I mean this isn’t the first time we’ve kissed, oh no we aren’t blushing virgins. But it’s the ‘I’m in love with you’ part that strikes a chord of course. It’s another level of intimacy as silly as it may sound to some. I’m not the one to just fall in love with someone. And yet, here he is having taken my heart, which I just practically handed to him.

‘’Y/N…’’ comes a sensual whisper making a shiver run down my spine, hands dropping to his shoulders a bit hesitant on what to do next. This can go two ways. Either he’s going to go about it the gentleman’s way and let me down easily, or…

Before I can finish the though he confirms the second idea by closing the distance, lips pressed firmer against my own, his tongue teasingly darting out across my lower lip, making me chuckle for some reason as he straightens up and inches closer my legs spreading wider to allow him to pull me closer to him, while our lips continue to dance along.

My fingers dig into the leather tunic he’s still wearing and I never despised it as much as I do now. I squeak when his hands go lower under my ass forcing me to jump up which he takes the chance to gather me in his arms and lifts me up. The kiss gets broken as I yelp in surprise but cling onto him, as he chuckles lips already on my neck.

‘’P-Peter!’’ I shout in disbelief as he drops my butt on the table taking the chance of my distraction to bite me, for sure leaving a mark behind. A few more delighted chuckles later he straightens up, looking at me gleefully hands readjusting over my things to hold then elevated, and my legs spread wide open.

‘’Yes, my love?’’ he plays innocent eyes showing hunger.

‘’Don’t do that, I could have fallen.’’ I complain half-heartedly glaring at him taking in his tunic as I avert my gaze, while crossing my arms.

‘’I would never drop you.’’ He eagerly leans in not sounding sorry, but does playfully rub his nose against mine even though I’m averting my gaze ‘’I would never drop you.’’ He nudges me hands resting over my forearms now as he gently tugs at them, but I remain stubborn ‘’My love I’m sorry, I won’t do that again.’’ he tries and that’s obviously a lie which has me smirking and glancing at him even though I want to remain serious to provoke him further.

‘’We both know that’s not the truth.’’ I point out, his hands tugging my own away to reach away.

‘’Are you calling me a liar?’’ he chuckles wrapping my arms around his neck, his own falling down to reach the hem of the big light blue tunic that I’m wearing. It’s actually his I just took one of his belts to make it look more presentable in front of the others this morning; given that my own tent lies across the camp.

‘’Yes.’’ I agree genuinely which has him grinning ear to ear and actually laughing for a moment, while I drop my hands, going for the side of the tunic, wanting to undo all the bounds that are keeping the offensive clothing on him ‘’Why did you have to wear this awful, awful thing. Ugh.’’ I groan in frustration as I create more knots than undo them. He remains grinning, watching as I struggle for a bit. Glancing up at him, I just tug at the buttons and strings harshly, the buttons falling down some landing on the table even.

‘’It’s actually my favourite tunic. Or well was.’’ He states to which I gently hit him over his chest. It has him gasping rather dramatically, but the grin he is sporting tell me everything.

‘’Liar again. I’m wearing your favourite tunic.’’ I continue opening his garment, reaching the last button that for some reason just won’t let me undress him, meanwhile I can see with the corner of my eyes the way he is musing eyes greedily taking me in, even though his shirt is like a sack on me. Comfortable one may I add.

Leaning in he presses a kiss to my cheek lips ghosting over to my ear ‘’I do like it yes, but I prefer it when it’s not necessarily on you.’’ His words have me just tearing the button away finally letting the fabric fall open to reveal the undershirt and more importantly more skin, his collarbones looking inviting for me to mark them up.

‘’Finally.’’ I state still frustrated tugging the damn clothing off but he isn’t cooperating with me ‘’Be more truthful and take this off too.’’

He raises an eyebrow ‘’How is that being more truthful?’’ he asks and yeah, I know it doesn’t make any sense but his playfulness is only raising my frustration, to which I groan and pout giving him the puppy eyes, my hands weakly tugging at the bottom of the tunic.

‘’I want it off.’’ I admit a bit whiny but as long as he’s smiling, I have nothing to complain about, even less when he starts to tug the damn thing of finally. Praise every entity thank you.

‘’So, demanding.’’ He mumbles to which I raise an eyebrow motioning with my hand for him to continue as there’s one more shirt left to go.

‘’You don’t know the half of it.’’ I chuckle leaning back on both hands briefly, just watching and taking it all in as he finally takes the shirt off and is left bare. For my eyes only. My hands are quick to reach forward, fingers tracing the lines and ridges of his abs and muscles, feeling healed up scars here and there.

‘’I see you’re enjoying yourself.’’ He muses hands reaching to rest over my hips once more as I scoot closer to the end of the table. So, I smirk in return letting my nails run over his skin, leaving faint red marks in my wake which has him quirking an eyebrow especially when, they go lower and lower reaching for something that’s been pressing against my thigh for some time.

‘’Hmm I am. Very much so.’’ I reply satisfied not missing the way his muscles tense up once my fingers trace him properly, starting to run up and down gently over his clothed length.

‘’It’s a little bit unfair that you are still fully clothed when I am not.’’ he points out making me chuckle even more so when he takes a step back but leaves his hands on the table next to me, meaning he’s leaning forward so I can kiss him if I want too. But touching comes to a momentary halt.

‘’I don’t see anything being unfair at all, my king.’’ I tease hands resting over my knees ‘’I’m completely satisfied for now. But…’’ I let my hands run slowly upwards my thighs which his eyes immediately follow after ‘’As a member of the Just Court, I see the problem in your complaint, and acknowledge that it needs to be levelled to fair play.’’ I slide my hands under the big shirt that is covering my thighs, conveniently hiding away what my fingers are doing which reflect on the way his eyebrows furrow smile disappearing, as his eyes meet my own again.

‘’You aren’t playing fair at all my lady.’’ He complains as I lean in closer undoing the buttons, one by one keeping him waiting.

‘’You haven’t specified what exactly is the problem that you are having, your highness you’ve only expressed there’s a problem in the lack off clothing on my part.’’ I play innocent and slide off the table. He remains unmoving, except for his eyes that wander over the expanse of my collarbones that are exposed, and my legs, as my pants come undone.

‘’So, you took it upon yourself to correct this, but in another way which you know would not please me?’’

At that I on purposefully lean forward and let the pants fall to my knees. I lick my lips slowly his eyes following my tongue until I’m leaning back bracing myself on the table, and raising up onto it, kicking the pants off ‘’Oh is my king not satisfied?’’ I fake surprise cupping his face again ‘’What ever shall I do to correct my foolish ways?’’ at this he snorts amused but clearly losing patience.

‘’You are the worst.’’ He mumbles but finally steps forward arms wrapping themselves around me as he ducks his head to kiss the side of my neck, but remains there simply lingering kisses which start to get messier, but in the best kind of way, calming me down, until I’m whining unable to hold myself back. He’s not the only one that is losing patience.

‘’W-we both know that you don’t m-mean that...mmmmhmmm…’’ I end up moaning as he finds that sweet spot that makes me tingle all over for a brief moment.

‘’My mind can be changed.’’ He replies drawing a smile on my lips once more, as I bury my fingers into his hair tugging gently which gets him to let out a groan, that has me feeling hot all over, excitement practically bubbling in my stomach.

‘’Peter.’’ I gasp out sensually which has him looking up in worry for a moment, until I attack him that’s the fine way of saying it, the way I kiss him. His grip gets tight again, just the way I like it while his hips are comfortably nestled between my legs. It isn’t too long until tongues get involved, and the fight for dominance begins. But I let him win, guiding the kiss however he wants it because half of my concentration goes onto my hands, which are quite shamelessly reaching for the buttons of his pants. I can feel when he smiles into the kiss, breaking it as a result a breathless chuckle filling the quiet air.

‘’You are full of tricks.’’ He points out as I undo his pants, tugging them down with an urge.

‘’I just know what I want.’’ I reply, as his hands replace my own.

‘’And what is that my fair lady?’’ he asks now rid of the pants a teasing smirk on his lips.

‘’You.’’ I simply reply taking his right hand and guiding it under the shirt I still have on, to have him feel how soaked my undergarments have become. His smile disappears, fingers moving on their own as he feels me, making me gasp as he touches me, pressing into the thin fabric to feel my wetness.

‘’How do you want me, my queen?’’ I quirk an eyebrow at the new title he has given me, but tease him further by buckling my hips encouraging him to touch me more, guiding his hand to touch me without barriers which he does eagerly so. My mouth falls slightly more open a gasp finding its way past my lips as with my free hand I grab onto his shoulder, our faces now inches away from one another, eyes darting now and then to each other’s lips, and yet we don’t collide. Yet.

‘’Exactly like this, my king.’’ I reply quietly, as his rough fingers brush over my clit. It has my body twitching briefly, until the second firmer brush has me leaning my forehead against his as he adjusts his hand the shirt riding up revealing my undergarments to his eyes and part of my stomach, while his fingers explore more running down my lower lips tracing everything, spreading my wetness along.

‘’Are you sure? You are hurting from the fight you need to b…’’ I shut him up by kissing him, conveying my need to him through the kiss, while also mewling at the way he plays with my clit, making me go crazy even more. I want him so bad ‘’Shhhhhh.’’ He hushes me gently making me whine louder as he stops moving his hand for a moment ‘’We wouldn’t want any unwanted ears hearing us, now would we?’’ he asks me slowly so my brain can comprehend his words. I nod slowly earning a satisfied smile in return fingers slowly moving making circular motions ‘’Good girl.’’ He praises me, a blush quickly hitting my cheeks.

My mouth falls open in a breathless gasp, while I stare directly at him, feeling his finger slowly entering me, his own face mimicking sort of wonder. Letting out a shaky breath he proceeds to press gentle kisses to my cheek, my nose, my lips while slowly tugging his finger in and out ‘’You are doing amazing my queen. Taking me in so well, so tight for me, and wet.’’ His words are encouraging making me tighten up, just as he pushes a second finger in, the sensation way better than when I use my own fingers. All bets are off, when he uses his thumb to circle my clit. I bite hard into my lower lip trying my hardest not to just cry out from the madness of pleasure that he is instigating in me. He lets me rest my head against his shoulder clearly enjoying the state that he has reduced me into.

‘’That’s it, my love that’s it you are doing amazing, my beautiful queen.’’ he starts saying sweet nothings between the kisses he litters over the right side of my neck this time, leaving a mark here and there and while he remains calm and collected I am loosing it way quicker than usually. His fingers just feel so good and the way he’s brushing my clit has my thighs soon trembling and my hold on him is probably borderline harsh, but he hasn’t complained about it yet ‘’…you are so gorgeous my love, doing so amazing, I bet you’ll feel even better once I enter you properly…’’

‘’Ah Peter…’’ I whimper eyes closing to a shut as they roll to the back of my head, toes curling, thighs starting to properly shake.

‘’Are you close, my queen?’’ he sounds very complacent.

‘’Y-Yeah, p-please don’t stop-p…’’ I manage to get it out with my right hand grabbing onto the edge of the table while with my left I grab onto his shoulder and hold myself up while he actually listens to me and doesn’t tease, just speeds up perfectly.

‘’That’s it gorgeous.’’ He encourages calmly, my vision starting to become white at first until stars start to explode under my eyelids, as he’s giving me everything I want and more ‘’Cum for me Y/N. I want to see my gorgeous queen, blossom.’’

I bite onto my lips again, toes and fingers curling, legs raising but not closing as he’s the barrier. I let sanity slip from my grasp welcoming in the explosion, and galaxy of wonder and bliss wash over, rendering me a trembling and crying mess which he muffles with a hand over my mouth. Not romantic but given the circumstances I don’t mind it.

‘’Whoah there gorgeous, I’ve got you; I’ve got you.’’ He reassures me, simply holding me tenderly, hands caressing my back as I’m practically slumped over him once my high starts to calm down ‘’You did so amazing my love, so beautiful, you are so astonishing. I love you.’’ At the last words my heart literally skips a beat but I’ve gained enough brain cells to move. Attempt to move.

‘’Pete…’’ I breathe, wrapping my arms around his neck as he still holds me, and fondly looks at me which just is too much for my heart to handle ‘’I want you.’’ I find myself saying and again blushing harder.

‘’So straight forward.’’ he chuckles faintly, as I inch closer to the edge, one hand reaching down to touch his cock, still hidden but it has him chocking briefly, stopping my hand ‘’Y/N just give yourself a moment to breathe my love…’’ I interrupt him with a hungry kiss.

‘’C’mon Peter, I need you in me right now.’’ I demand practically wanting to buckle my hips against him, but the way I’m sitting isn’t working out well ‘’I’m fine, I just really need you right now.’’ I continue with urgency. His resolve doesn’t last long as I thought it would. He kisses me roughly once more, forcing me to lean backwards holding me up as he is quick to push everything off the desk, the map the figurines the books, scouts’ reports, to the ground not caring as he lays me down, hands cupping my face as he stops to admire me. My dagger clatters to the floor once my back properly hits the wooden surface.

‘’I love you. So, so much.’’ he admits quietly words holding a huge heaviness to them. In his eyes I can read that he really means them, and I myself know how the struggle of so many emotions or how strong they can be and overwhelm you, how hard and sometimes impossible it is to portray them with words. Its why they say actions speak louder than words.

‘’I love you too, infinitely.’’ I whisper in return accepting the slower but more passionate kiss. My breath hitches from anticipation once he briefly moves away, but doesn’t break the kiss apart. He tugs me forward so that my ass if half hanging from the edge of the table, but I know he won’t let me fall. I wrap my legs gladly around him, gasping silently once I feel the tip of his cock nudge against my lower lips. Its he who breaks the kiss, looking down between us meanwhile I keep staring at him, at the concentration written all over his features. So, I let him be, enjoying the sensation of the head of his cock prodding and then entering me, and the feeling of fulness as he enters slowly filling me up, having me aching but not from pain but from need. He looks gorgeous, slightly concentration tugging his features, but at the same time it all unravels the more he enters me.

‘’Oh fffaaaaaa…’’ he gasps once he’s fully in, eyes shut tightly closed as he just stays there leaning over me on his elbows, caging me in. I let my hands roam over his torso again, raising upwards to press fleeting kisses to his cheeks, but end up pressing pecks on his lips until I get tired and just lie there smiling at him, with adoration. Experimentally I clench around him to which he tips his head to the side, opening his eyes to glare at me.

‘’Take me, my king. I’m all yours.’’ I whisper reaching down to tug the belt and tunic off, making quick work of getting rid of the tight restrain over my breasts. So, I’m left equally undressed like him, which clearly captures his attention for the moment being.

‘’Fuck you are so gorgeous.’’ He breathes out, leaning down to capture a nipple between his pillow-y lips, at the same time he experimentally pulls out and pushes himself back in, the moan that was about to leave from my throat gets chocked. His eyes peek up at me, a mischievous smirk forming on his lips while his tongue darts out making me shudder, once he circles it around the perk numb, his other hand pinching the other nipple. It has me arching my back, this sort of body shiver shaking me up, the whole idea and picture before me surreal but so fucking arousing.

My mouth falls open, once he starts to rock his hips, gently and slowly but the sensation is still out of this world. He fills me up completely but not in an uncomfortable way, and the way his dick is curved has already tingles going off across my skin.

‘’So tight…’’ he groans once he speeds up control finally slipping. I grab onto his biceps as he has himself prompted onto his elbows still ‘’…ugh Y/N…’’ he gasps breathing out hard, as my fingers dig into his skin.

‘’So good…’’ I breathe out, eyes shutting close as I let go of him with one hand to reach down. He’s quicker though, surprising me by grabbing both of my wrists roughly and forces my arms above my head, pining me back down against the table hard. But it’s nothing I can’t handle, given that a few hours ago I was…alright let’s not go into gore and death and all that.

‘’Not so fast, gorgeous.’’ He states looking cocky, slamming his hips into mine making me groan as getting too loud will alert others outside. He is the High King he has personal guards no matter what occasion outside and even inside Cair Paravel ‘’You’re mine to protect…’’ he says firmly slowing down but he emphasises his words with harder thrusts ‘’…mine to look over…’’ another muffled groan ‘’…mine to cherish…’’ he leans lower easily holding both my hands with only one of his (because I’m letting him) ‘’…mine to love…’’ his tone turns more sensual, as he ghosts his lips over my left cheek, eyes trained onto my own ‘’…all mine to spoil…’’ his lips quirk into a wider smile ‘’…and all mine to ruin.’’ He growls at the end, hand grabbing down to steady me by my hip as best as he can as he pulls almost all the way out, leaving me in a whiny state. He doesn’t give me the time to be vocal about it, as his hands suddenly makes a detour over my mouth, while simultaneously he slams back in. My back on its own arches off the table, my hands flying upwards to latch onto the edge of the table to hold on for dear life, as the pace he sets it isn’t fast but its brutal and deep in all the right ways, that bring tears to my eyes instantly, vision briefly blurring.

‘’Fuh…fuk..ahh…ohh…’’ half chocked sounds keep leaving my throat as I can’t even assemble a proper sentence or what I want to say in my brain, let alone a coherent word to actually form. I barely can keep my eyes open, the sight just frying every brain cell because Peter looks fucking magnificent as I take him in.

He is covered in sweat, gold locks sticking to his forehead, but also the way the sweat is dripping down his skin, in this moment I would even lick it off. I want to trace my fingers over his muscular arms, fell the muscles tense, as well as his abs that have me tilting my head. My eyes follow his happy trail, and even though I can’t see us being connected I fucking feel it, and it’s burning at the rest of my sanity.

Its when he leans slightly forward again, readjusting his stance one hand reaching up to hold the table preventing it from moving further ahead, and with the other he reaches for my clit that’s been neglected this whole time that is when its game over. I clench up immediately, nails digging into the wood of the table, body tensing like a violin chord ready to snap at any moment, as electricity courses through me.

‘’Are you close, my queen?’’ he asks breathless smirking as I immediately start nodding, holding in a yelp once he starts moving his fingers over my clit in a circular motion. Without warning I feel like I get hit over by a train. Everything is weightless, I have no care in the world whatever happens it doesn’t matter, I am surrounded by nothingness in the best way possible. Its Peter’s grunt, warmth and weight of his body pressing on me that has me opening my eyes to look at the mop of blonde hair, as he lays over me, head resting over my chest.

For a moment I try to collect my breathing, remember how to do that in the first place actually. Unbending my fingers figuring how to work them follows. They’ve become kind of cramped up as my grip tight on the wood was too hard. Briefly stretching them, I start to run them up his back ignoring the sweat, to just caress him. I can feel his seed leaking out from me, but he hasn’t even bothered to pull out yet. I don’t mind it. In this moment I don’t mind anything at all.

As long as he’s safe and sound, unharmed I’m okay with anything, even the back pain that will probably follow but I can live with that. After all tomorrow is going to be soon, and I need my A game, to protect my king again on the battlefield.

I’m pleasantly surprised once I feel a gentle kiss that he presses under my jaw. And the next one that follows I just sigh and hum content, giggling as he continues to trail kisses upwards my neck again but this time less aggressive than the first time. He presses one last peck over the corner of my lips and then raises up to look at me properly ‘’You okay?’’ he asks gently, readjusting his body a bit so he can trail his hand over my cheek.

‘’I’m more than okay.’’ I reply slightly too eager in return. But he doesn’t say anything on it just leans in to kiss me, tongue not shying away.

He’s too quick to break the kiss, and I’m on the verge of turning into a brat but he just moves higher to rest his forehead against my own ‘’Ready for round…’’

‘’Your majesty may I come inside; we’ve received urgent news.’’ Comes an urgent voice from the outside making us both glance behind him, where the tent entrance is but luckily nobody steps through. Glancing up I meet Peter’s eyes again and I think we’re both having same thoughts ‘’Your majesty?’’

‘’Give me a moment.’’ Peter replies calmly like the king he always is, but leans down to quickly devour me, biting onto my lower lip once he breaks away ‘’This isn’t over.’’

‘’Definitely not over.’’

#peter pevensie smut #peter pevensie imagine #peter pevensie x reader #Smut #narnia smut #narnia #narnia fanfiction #chronicles of narnia

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alipeeps · 4 years ago

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New tag game: Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game

Thanks to @minmoyu for tagging me and ooof, are you sure you’re ready for this?!! :D I have been around/in fandom for a loooooong time and at first I thought, okay, no way I can list all my crushes, there have been SO many and we’ll be here all day but then as I started compiling a list I found I was having fun reminiscing and decided, what the heck, yeah, let’s do em all... or at least all I can remember! :D

There have absolutely for sure been other more minor crushes and passing fancies along the way, but these are the big ones that I remember (and that, in more recent years, I can track by going through my posted fanfics on AO3 and even *shudder* FFNET and seeing which shows I was into enough to want to write fic about the characters).

[Quick note: with rare exceptions, for actors I am listing them by the character they played rather than just the actor. Whilst there are actors that I like in multiple roles (and conversely, characters who on paper I would normally be into but are played by actors who do nothing for me, and hence the character generally does nothing for me either), for the most part it is the character I really have the crush on.]

I’m going to put this under a readmore cos it has gotten ridiculously long:

So... without further ado:

1. MORTEN HARKET from a-ha - OKay so, dating myself badly here but... I had the *biggest* crush on Morten Harket when I was a teenager. Pretty much the entirety of my side of the bedroom I shared with my sister was covered in posters of a-ha, and Morten in particular. I even had a heart-shaped Morten Harket pillow! :D I loved a-ha’s music (still do!) and I wanted to go see them in concert when I was 14 but my parents wouldn’t let me (*sob*). I did finally get to see them in concert in the early 2000s and they were BRILLIANT live (and Morten was still very very pretty)!

2. RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON as MACGYVER - MacGyver is the first tv character I remember being really into and having a crush on, to the extent that I would record episodes of the show off the tv (onto VHS tape - yes, I am *that* old!) so that I could rewatch them (especially the ones where he got hurt - yeah, I was a whumper even then! :D)

3. KEIFER SUTHERLAND - One of my rare exceptions. I think I first saw him in Lost Boys (and loved him in that film) but it was his role as Doc Scurlock in Young Guns that really made me fall for both the character and him. I definitely remember seeking out any and all films he was in and buying any magazine he was interviewed in (and knowing far more facts about him than was probably healthy! :D) and even drawing a fanart portrait of him. :)

4. KYLE MACLACHLAN as SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER - I remember hearing about Twin Peaks before it started airing in the UK and it sounded so different and interesting... I watched it from the very first episode and very quickly developed a crush on Coop.

5. BRENT SPINER as DATA - I think ST: TNG had been airing for a while before I stumbled across it but I quickly became hooked and Data was my favourite character right from the start. I definitely remember at one point buying an (unofficial) episode guide book so that I could look up which episodes were good Data-focused ones (especially ones where he got hurt! :D) so I could go out and buy the videos that had those episodes on (at the time the show was available to buy on VHS-tape with 2 episodes on each tape).

6. DAVID DUCHOVNY as FOX MULDER - Another show that I heard the buzz about and started watching right from the start and, like so many others, I immediately developed a crush on the snarky, enigmatic, troubled FBI agent with the weird name. The X-Files was the first show I ever tried writing (one, never-finished) fanfic for.

7. PAUL GROSS as BENTON FRASER - Man, Due South was such a good show! It was so quirky and clever and funny and Benton Fraser, with his huge heart and his serious demeanour and his gorgeous blue eyes, was just so darn attractive! He also got whumped a fair bit too! :D Due South was also the show that introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan (I was enough of a fan that I bought the show soundtrack on CD).

8. HUGH LAURIE as DR GREGORY HOUSE - This was a bit of an odd one for me because I had grown up knowing Hugh Laurie solely as a comedian/comic actor, known mostly for playing buffoons and genial idiots. And suddenly here he was with stubble, an American accent, and a limp, and he was hawt AF! :D It caused quite the feedback loop in my brain for a while which pretty much went “Wow, House is hot.... but it’s Hugh Laurie... but he’s hot... but it’s HUGH LAURIE!!1!”

I *loved* House (the first few seasons, at least) and oof a character with persistent pain (and a self-destructive streak a mile wide!) was a whumper’s dream. House was the first show for which I wrote - and published online - completed fanfics.

8. JOE FLANIGAN as JOHN SHEPPARD - Stargate Atlantis was my first proper online fandom, the first show I prolifically and repeatedly wrote fanfic for, and the first time I ever met in person an actor I was a big fan of (and while the show was still airing, to boot!). It was also my first introduction to the online community of whumpers! A bunch of us from the Shep Whump thread on Gateworld heard that Joe was going to be at a convention in London and we decided to book hotel rooms and meet up and go to the convention together and it was AWESOME! I can still remember seeing Joe *in person* for the first time and just,,,, struggling to believe he was actually here, in person, in front of me! He was super super lovely and humble too and took time to chat to everyone at the signing table and I clearly remember my brain just pretty much fritzing out during the photo session and being intensely aware of the sensation of Joe’s hand on my shoulder....

It was also super lovely to meet fellow fans, and online friends, in person for the first time and we had so much fun, and it kickstarted me going to lots of other conventions, including specific Stargate/SGA ones where I got to know lots of other lovely fans and online friends. I’ve met Joe about 4 or 5 times in total now and he’s been lovely every time.

9. PAUL BLACKTHORNE as HARRY DRESDEN - Gosh I loved the shortlived tv adaptation of The Dresden Files. I loved the fantasy aspect, the stories, the humour, and I especially loved Harry Dresden and how often he got whumped! :D

10. DAVID TENNANT as THE 10TH DOCTOR - I had watched the Christopher Ecclestone revival of Doctor Who and enjoyed it well enough but I can clearly remember watching David Tennant’s first episode as The Doctor - on Christmas Day, at my brother-in-law’s house - and being aware, as I watched it that... ooookay, yes, I’m in trouble here... I like him... I like him a lot... :D I mean, I’m sure the fact that he got whumped so thoroughly in his very first episode had nothing to do with how quickly I fell for him... right? :)

11. ALEX O’LAUGHLIN as MICK ST JOHN - Another show that ended far too soon and just as it was getting *seriously* good. But also a prime example of my point about having a crush on the character not the actor. I looooooved Alex as Mick St John... and yet in Hawaii 5.0 he pretty much does nothing for me (the character is too stoic and the whump often too unrealistically glossed over). Anyway, in Moonlight he was my favourite kind of character - angsty, brooding, dangerous AF when he needed to be... and essentially immortal so you could whump the heck out of him and he’d recover so you could whump him again! :D

12. SIMON BAKER as PATRICK JANE - There is so much to love about Patrick Jane... his smarts, his sass, his angst... and Simon is a rare “against type” blonde crush for me (you may have noticed by now that most of my crushes follow a similar physical aesthetic - tall, slim/wiry, and dark-haired) and again here I think my crush is almost all to do with the character rather than the actor.

12. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH as SHERLOCK HOLMES - I’m almost ashamed to admit it, given the clusterfuck that both the show and its fandom became, but in the earlier seasons I had quite the crush on Benedict’s Sherlock (and okay, a little bit on Benedict himself - I did definitely enjoy some of his other roles too). It helps that I was already a huge fan of the Sherlock Holmes character (I’ve read all the stories and novels multiple times and was a big fan of the Granada adaptation starring Jeremy Brett - whose Holmes would definitely count as one of my more minor/passing crushes) already. Benedict is another crush that I have met in person, at a (actually, the first!) Sherlock convention and he was lovely in person - very genuine, very articulate and thoughtful.

13. TOM MISON as ICHABOD CRANE - I was excited for Sleepy Hollow as soon as I heard about it and I was SUCH a fan for the first couple of seasons (before TPTB completely destroyed it and it inevitably got cancelled (I didn’t even watch the last season and a half)) and Tom’s Ichabod (and his amazing chemistry with Nicole’s Abbie) was a large part of why. I also quickly became a big fan of Tom himself as he came across as so witty and self-deprecating and *fun* in all the behind the scenes/convention clips etc. I was lucky enough to also meet Tom at a convention and he genuinely is that witty and charming and lovely.

14. TOM WISDOM as ARCHANGEL MICHAEL - I think Dominion was possibly the first show that I got sucked into by seeing whumpy gifsets on tumblr! :D It was such a great show and also to date the most immersive, welcoming, cast-and-crew-interactive fandom I have ever been in. The cast and crew regularly live-tweeted the episodes, and interacted with fans on Twitter, and it was SO much fun. And Tom’s Michael was my favourite character right from the start - seemingly aloof but so much going on under the surface... and some really nice whump, especially in season 2! I was heartbroken when it was cancelled after only 2 seasons (and just as the plot was getting *really* interesting).

15. OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN as LUCAS - I was hooked on Emerald City right from the first episode. It was visually stunning, so atmospheric, and really intruiging. I love love loved Adria Arjona’s Dorothy (ngl, I had a bit of a crush on her too) and she and Lucas together were just... *chef’s kiss*. I mean... what an introduction to a character... she finds him crucified, bleeding, his wrists tied with barbed wire, and amnesiac.... and the whump only gets better and better from there on in! Like the entire first two episodes are just... Lucas whump! :D And his devotion to her... Emerald City was honestly the first show where I really got into a ship. I was *invested* in Dorcas, dammit! Aaaand sadly another excellent show that never made it past its first season.

16. JASON RALPH as QUENTIN COLDWATER - Another show that I watched right from the start, was heavily invested in.... and that the writers absolutely tanked and destroyed in later seasons. *cries* Quentin was such a brilliant viewpoint character for the show and I loved his awkwardness, and his angst, and his enthusiasm, and his adorable floppy hair... and how often he got whumped!

17. COLIN MORGAN - I fell for Colin in Merlin (which I stumbled upon late, long after it had finished airing, and hence was able to binge-watch the entire 5 seasons!) and liked him enough to seek out his other works, such as The Fall, and Humans, and The Living and the Dead, and he was brilliant (and very pretty) in all of them... and his characters also seem to get whumped quite a lot! :D

18. MATT LANTER as WYATT LOGAN - Wyatt was another of my favourite archetypes... absolutely badass and competent... but also tortured and angsty and capable of intense devotion. Another show that I watched because of whumpy gifs on tumblr and the second ever show where I actually got invested in a ship - Lyatt all the way, baby!! :D - aaaaaand yet another show cancelled before its time.

19. NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM from FINAL FANTASY XV - my very first video game crush! I was recommended to play FFXV by fellow whumpers on the whumpshire discord because it was whumpy... and they were not wrong and I loved the game and I absolutely adored Noctis. FFXV is one of very very VERY few video games that I have actually played right through to the end. And possibly the only video game that has ever affected me to such an extent... I became so invested in the characters and their world and I actually found the last couple of chapters really hard to play because it was actually upsetting me emotionally. I had to take a break for a couple of weeks before I could go back and finish it!

20. CONNOR from DETROIT BECOME HUMAN - and from there I jumped straight into another video game crush! DBH was another game recommended to me for its whump potential and I, and many others, immediately fell in love with the quirky, sassy, self-sacrificing (if you play the game right!) “android sent by Cyberlife”. The game itself is really good too... although, I have tried to play through all the different endings to the story but have never yet managed to make myself play the machine Connor storyline.... I want to complete all the story branches... but I also just want Hank and Connor to be friends and to be happy! :D

21. ZHU YILONG - Ahhh... the beginning of the asian drama arc of my fandom life! I first came across Zhu Yilong after getting sucked into watching Guardian because of pretty (and whumpy) gifs on tumblr... and I’ve never looked back. He is one of the rare entries where I am pretty much guaranteed to like him in pretty much anything he does and my crush extends beyond Shen Wei, or his other characters, and into reblogging his fashion shoot photos, and keeping up with news of his work in general. He’s just... so darn pretty! And also so... blur! :D And the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of him with Bai Yu, during the Guardian era, just made me fall for him all the more. He’s also ridiculously talented - not only a fantastic actor, but a really good singer (I love his singing voice), he plays guitar and piano, and he can paint too!!

He’s also pretty much what made me start learning Chinese... because after Guardian I went seeking his other dramas to watch... only to find that many of them are only partially, or not at all, subbed. So I thought... why not try learning Chinese and then I’ll be able to watch his other shows? :D

21. JI CHANG WOOK - My first kdrama crush, and what a good one to start with! Healer was the first drama I ever watched and can you blame me for falling for JCW... especially when I followed up Healer with The K2?! I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve watched him in. Although I do wish he would go back to doing more action-based shows as he is sooo good at them... but he seems to prefer the romcom genre these days, which is something I am nottt always a fan of tbh.

22. JAKE HSU as MENG SHAO FEI - Yet another show that I got sucked into by tumblr - and also one with a great, fun fandom through which I met lots of lovely people who I still follow/am mutuals with to this day. I just *adored* Jake’s character in History and I also loved the ship - Tang Fan and Meng Shaofei were awesome and adorable together and I was totally invested in both the ship and the gangster/cop/what happened years ago story happening alongside the ship. And Jake is just all kinds of cute.

23. XIAO ZHAN - Aaaand we are pretty much up to current day now... where The Untamed took over my life in the summer of 2019 and has yet to let me go. Xiao Zhan is another disgustingly talented human being - a fantastic singer and a really good actor, and also an artist - and he also just comes across as a genuinely sweet and charming person, and a very thoughful and earnest one too. And lbr he is ridiculously pretty, and his smile is just pure sunshine.

24. LEE DONG WOOK as LEE YEON - The most recent entry to the charts.... a Korean actor I was aware of but whose work I hadn’t watched and whose looks didn’t particularly seem to grab me... until I watched Tale of the Nine Tailed and fell head over heels for Lee Yeon (and daaayum does red hair suit LDW!!) and very quickly began to find LDW’s looks very appealing (and oh my, does Lee Yeon whump well!!). And yes, I have now started watching Goblin. :D

Phew! Aaaand we are done! I’ll admit, I did think of a few more as I was compiling this list but I decided to categorise them as more “minor” crushes and not include them... otherwise we really could be here all day!!

I’m going to tag: @sarah-yyy, @arlothia, @howdydowdy, @thepromiseweheldforlife and @the-wandering-whumper!

#meme #fandom #crushes

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makeste · 5 years ago

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I just took that Bakugou introspection as Horikoshi's way of telling the audience that yes Bakugou can keep up with OP Deku because there has been so much muttering across the fanbase that Bakugou won't be able to. I don't see the melodrama of Bakugou only seeing his strength as a means to keep up with Deku or that his pride is problematic. I think him having an idea for his hero names means he knows what his strength is for. He's always been strong as a person (when Deku was not) (pt1)

Losing his quirk doesn't need to be the gateway to force him to develop the kindness and consideration he's already been showing, nor would it be karmatic balance between him and Deku- especially when any scenario that takes his quirk benches him from the story or cheapens the stakes by him getting it back relatively fast. Deku's 15 years of quirklessness can't be balanced. Additionally, Bakugou only lost in the story when he was too close minded to learn, once open minded he started to (pt2)

grow. It doesn't send out a good message, if after all that growth he still gets punished. His declaration of spirit to not lose, be it to Shigaraki or Deku is not a bad thing, he is the underdog with an indominable will and he is declaring his spirit as the symbol of victory. Bakugou may lose his quirk, I don't know, but your reasons I disagree with because we interpret those panels differently. They give the audience a point of reference to guage Bakugou's ability.

you make some excellent points, anon! and you see, it’s strange, because up until this chapter and his monologue, I was in full agreement with most of what you’re saying -- that he’s already figured out all of that hero biz, that he’s already in the process of sorting his shit out on his own, and that Horikoshi is simply waiting for the right moment to finally show it.

but after reading his internal dialogue in this chapter, I’m just not so sure anymore.

in the past I’ve done a lot of guesswork on Kacchan’s thought processes based on his subtle little actions and microexpressions, and on what we’ve already been told about his character thus far. I call it “guesswork”, though, because it very much is that, because we so rarely get an actual glimpse into his head to see what he is really thinking. so when Horikoshi actually does give us one of those rare glimpses, I’m inclined to pay very close attention, and prepared to make any necessary adjustments to my current understanding of his character if need be. he is very, very complicated, and despite my spending an absurd percentage of my free time analyzing him up and down and front to back, that absolutely doesn’t mean that any of those analyses are actually right, lols. I’m constantly updating my internal databank of Kacchan knowledge both from interactions with the rest of the fandom, and -- when Horikoshi actually deigns to give us some new information -- from the canon itself.

anyway! so when I read this chapter and saw Kacchan yet again comparing his progress to Deku’s in his head, and thinking -- even now, even in the moments right before an intense battle!! -- only about his rivalry and about keeping up, that immediately set me to updating my mental bakuwiki in regards to his current character growth status. so he definitely has his hero name picked out already, we know that much. and so presumably has thus already figured out what kind of hero he wants to be. right? right.

and yet he still apparently has not revealed the new name to anyone. even after three months. like yeah, we get it, you made a promise to tell Jeanist first, etc. fair enough, but still! it’s an interesting bit of hesitation to take note of. and then there’s also the matter of Horikoshi’s interview from back in December (which I’ll link in a comment once this is posted), where he talked a lot about Bakugou and made a point of saying that his character growth wasn’t done yet, and that he still needs to apologize to Deku. which is as good a confirmation as any that such an apology is indeed forthcoming.

so why, then, does it seem like we’re still no closer to that moment, even after Kacchan seemingly had a mysterious epiphany at the end of the internship arc, and even after we subsequently went through a three month time jump? Kacchan isn’t one to be slow about it when he decides to make progress. his growth in all other aspects has come by leaps and bounds. and yet when it comes to his relationship with Deku -- his friendship with Deku, except that he still can’t bring himself to acknowledge that’s what it is, and insists on thinking of it as only a rivalry -- it seems like he reached a certain point, and then just... stalled. like he’s not willing to go any further past this. and there are many reasons for why that may be the case. but at the root of all of them is pride.

and I’m not saying he needs to give up that pride, because that’s a huge and very important part of who he is. you said his declaration of spirit not to lose isn’t a bad thing, and I agree. but that doesn’t always make it a good thing either, and I don’t want to get so swept up in my love of the character that I start refusing to acknowledge the downsides of that trademark pride as well. pride, like anything else, is nuanced. it can be both good and bad. it’s good when it motivates you and pushes you to do your best and to achieve your goals. but it’s bad when it makes you inflexible, and when it prevents you from taking actions which would benefit you and others, just because doing so would mean humbling yourself in a way that is scary and which feels like it runs counter to your ultimate goals. because you want to be someone who always wins. and so any time you do experience a loss, you go through an entire mini-crisis, because it feels like your very purpose in life is being threatened.

I don’t know if “problematic” is the word I would use for this aspect of him. I feel like that word is fairly overused, especially in fandom, and now has certain connotations of “this is objectively bad behavior which should be called out and shunned.” and I don’t think that’s the case at all when it comes to Kacchan’s pride. he’s already learned how to put it aside in order to work with others and save others. and that’s great! he already is a great hero by this point, imo. if Horikoshi decided to just end his character arc here and not take it any further, I would actually be just fine with that.

but I think that there is still the potential for more. I think that we are still not done here yet. because this manga consistently surprises and amazes me with the way it goes the extra mile when it comes to character development. Kacchan and Deku didn’t have to reconcile their differences and learn to respect one another after only 120 chapters (I say “only” in a very sincere and not sarcastic sense here, because that really is an insanely short timeframe compared to most other manga). but they did. Endeavor didn’t have to see the error of his ways and decide that he wanted to become a better person, and he definitely didn’t have to be shown apologizing and admitting his wrongdoings and even going so far as to back out of his family’s lives for their sakes and even build them a house so they could move on apart from him. but he did! and that’s insane, you guys. name me another series that goes that hard in trying to redeem a guy whom virtually every single member of this fandom would have once described as ultimately devoid of any redeeming qualities. I can’t think of any.

but BnHA is just like that. it goes hard. it doesn’t back off. nothing about its character arcs is remotely half-assed. and so if a character is showing signs that they are still angling for more growth? that there are still things they need to learn? then I’m inclined to think we are going to roll up our sleeves and get that growth, one way or another.

this story consistently amazes me because whenever I look at a certain aspect of a character’s development and say to myself, “oh hey, that’s pretty awesome, even if it’s still not ideal,” Horikoshi goes and nudges it down another notch towards being ideal. like, the dude just doesn’t settle. and so that’s one of the reasons why I’m convinced this is a very real and even likely possibility. because this kind of development, to me, would be very, very, very close to my ideal. is it strictly necessary? absolutely not. would it fucking blow my mind as a development, however? I kinda think it would, ngl.

-- that is, with the one addendum that since I do love my son very dearly, I wouldn’t want it to actually be permanent. so in order to be truly ideal, such an arc would also have to include a way for him to climb back up again after experiencing that fall. which some might find contrived or “cheap”, as you put it. but that’s a risk I’m very selfishly and biasedly game for all the same, lol. I am more than willing to occasionally suspend my sense of disbelief in the name of character development, and honestly, I don’t actually think it would cheapen the stakes in any way, because just because Kacchan’s main character status gives him cool perks like a one-time get-out-of-losing-your-quirk-for-free card doesn’t mean the same would apply towards anybody else. and for that matter, it wouldn’t detract from whatever soul searching Kacchan does during that period while he fully believes that he will be quirkless for the rest of his life, either. it doesn’t have to be permanent in order to have a permanent impact.

lastly, in regards to it balancing things out between him and Deku, I don’t mean that Kacchan becoming quirkless would (a) be some sort of necessary and deserved punishment for him, or (b) be even remotely equivalent in any kind of way to what Deku experienced while growing up. that is very obviously not the case, and I can’t stand that kind of thinking, that redemption is only about punishment. maybe “karmic” isn’t the word I should have used then; I meant it as a way of signifying something spiritual in the push-pull balance between the two of them, not in the “what goes around comes around you were a jerk and now you’ll finally understand what it feels like” sense of the word. that’s a big yikes, lol. so yeah, just to clarify that part of it!

what I mean by balance is that it would serve as a catalyst to Kacchan finally being able to understand Deku’s side of it. finally being able to see things from the point of view of his rival-friend who’s had the exact opposite arc as him in terms of what he had to do and go through and learn and unlearn to get this far. it would serve as a means of finally bridging that one last gap of understanding between them. it would bring things back into balance because it would bring them back into balance, by giving them the push to finally mend that one last broken part of their former friendship. the part that’s still untouched by both of them, because they’re both afraid of disrupting the current semi-stable truce that they have now in their relationship. even if it’s not perfect. not, if you’ll pardon my use of the word yet again, ideal.

tl;dr I see Bakugou’s introspection as being a lead-in to something potentially game-changing both because I want it to be, and because, as strange as it may seem, the manga has conditioned me to think this way now. to have expectations. to anticipate more depth, more growth. so it may be the case that in this instance I’ve taken those expectations too far and I need to temper them back down and swing them in a less angsty, more traditionally shounen direction. and like I said, if that does wind up being the case, I won’t be upset.

but maybe, just maybe though, this manga will in fact go there once again. if for no other reason than that it can. “Horikoshi really went and did that” is a sentence I’ve gotten very used to typing since I started reading this manga. and so, well, let’s just wait and see.

#bnha 275 #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #bnha meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks #long post #because tumblr is being a giant @&$^)! and I'm not sure that the 'read more' function is working in the way it's supposed to be working #so if not I apologize!#my bad #quirkless!bakugou #bakugou meta

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letterboxd · 4 years ago

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Beautiful Day: The Don Hertzfeldt Q&A.

In which the singular creator of It’s Such a Beautiful Day and the World of Tomorrow trilogy answers 57 questions put to him by the Letterboxd community, about death, gills, snacks, back flips, the best time of day to watch a movie, and the sick pleasure of emotionally destroying people.

Since his first animated outings in the 1990s, filmmaker Don Hertzfeldt has had a way of staring deeply into humanity’s soul via a humble stick figure, and his skill at blending existential questions with situational humor breeds intense reactions. To browse Letterboxd reviews of Hertzfeldt’s animated works is to meet film lovers at a rare, collective gathering point: heaping great piles of love for films that do “the exact opposite of helping with depression”.

There’s something optimistically anti-feel-good in Hertzfeldt’s works; a bleak view of the future, and a frank appreciation of death’s inevitability, that makes viewers urgently want to fix the way they’re living right now. “I’ve built a lot of my life philosophy on the messages of this film,” writes Misty, of his acclaimed It’s Such a Beautiful Day. “It has kicked my ass completely,” writes Dirk of the first, Oscar-nominated World of Tomorrow instalment, “making me angry at myself for letting trivial stuff take over things I love and making me happy I have so very, very much in my life to enjoy and be grateful for.”

The filmmaker’s magic lies as much in the process as the content: “Hertzfeldt is able to make every moment count,” writes Artpig, of the second WoT instalment, The Burden of Other People’s Thoughts, “every line of dialogue, every moment of silence, every note of music, every line of animation.” The World of Tomorrow films, says animation expert Toussaint Egan in our Letterboxd Show animation episode, are “some of the best science fiction films, period”.

And his timing. Oh, his timing. Just as the northern hemisphere days were turning cold, and the drawn-out misery of the pandemic was really taking hold all over again, Hertzfeldt tweeted:

WORLD OF TOMORROW EPISODE THREE everywhere october 9 5pm est 🚀

— don hertzfeldt (@donhertzfeldt)

October 8, 2020

And like that, World of Tomorrow Three: The Absent Destinations of David Prime was ours, an overnight gift to the quarantined and bereaved-weary, on Vimeo for all to rent or own. The gifts, they keep coming: a master list of movies that have their fingerprints on the World of Tomorrow universe, and now, in recognition of our community’s love for his films—and in his signature lower-case—the answers to questions asked in an exclusive Letterboxd Q&A.

To make things easier for Don, we grouped similar questions (and have noted which members asked what). Read on for more than you ever thought you might get to know about Hertzfeldt’s process, brain, heart and influences.

Filmmaker Don Hertzfeldt.

From “holograms that yell at you!” to the stunning colors, textures and folds of the blue mountains, to attributes David progressively deletes to make room for memories, would you please give us an insight into World of Tomorrow Three’s world-building process? —Letterboxd in the grand scheme of the series, episodes one and two still felt like baby steps to me. episode three was my first chance to really start blowing things up and exploring this universe. when i’m writing, i don’t want to worry about going over the top or think about structure or meaning or really much of anything yet. writing is playtime, it should be fun and messy. i want to go over the top. there is no top. i don’t want to start thinking too much until i’m rewriting and sorting through it all. thinking too much too soon can get in the way, like being too aware of when you’re trying to fall asleep. when you write a diary entry or a text to a friend, there’s no self-consciousness or creative blocks, you just write. it’s casual and fluid and automatic. but if you’re asked to write a term paper or a screenplay, suddenly all those lights turn off. it can be paralyzing. it’s hard to get to that place of truly not caring what anyone thinks and approach all forms of writing just as freely as writing those immediate thoughts in your diary. but that’s what i try to do.

When you start writing a new piece, do you usually start with a plot idea, a thematic idea, one uniform philosophical notion, or a little bit of each? —Kodiak J. Sanders, Trenz, Mr. Tables i don’t think i ever write in a straight line. i’ll jot down a hundred stray ideas over time, and one day i’ll sit down and see what connections might be made out of them. i really want this scene to be in the movie, so how do i get there? this is a good line, how can i get a character to say it? so the actual story usually only starts to reveal itself when i sit down to logic all these bits and pieces out. hey, in order to connect this strange idea to that strange idea, suddenly there is a very interesting third scene.

I’m astounded by how much the animation and the visuals improve with each instalment of World of Tomorrow. What have you done differently for each one? —Aske Lund, Cringetacular the characters needed to physically perform a lot more in episodes two and three so there were more demands put on the animation. when emily 4 dances or david staggers up a mountain, those sorts of scenes were animated in “ones”, which means doing 24 drawings per second versus my usual twelve. it’s still all 2D hand animation, just more of a classic disney approach that gives the movement a smoother look and a little more room for nuance. and obviously it takes a lot more work. but i hesitate to call such things improvements because i’m not sure i like the idea of different techniques being thought of as good or bad. it’s just another way of doing things. it really depends, sometimes super limited animation can be more effective.

Likewise, Part Three’s sound design is incredible. What conditions did you create it in, and what are all those sounds, and how do you have such an incredible command of the cut-to-silence trick?! —Letterboxd thanks, the sound design is always my favorite thing to do. other than julia’s lines, it’s easy to forget that all the animation starts with dead silence. obviously there’s no sound coming from a live-action set. so adding sound and music to everything, usually pretty late in production, is when all the stuff i’ve been working on suddenly starts to feel like an actual movie. this is not a future that works very well—particularly david’s, which predates everything else we’ve seen so far by a century or two—so you’re hearing a lot of creaky old hard drives booting up, electric distortions, and bent circuits from broken toys.

Emily and Emily Prime in a still from ‘World of Tomorrow’ (2015).

World of Tomorrow used to fill me with existential dread, but now with the current state of the world it’s become more and more comforting in a strange way. Do you feel that at all as you make new episodes? —mariano gg i wish that were possible but when i’m making something i’m usually so close to it i’m unable to see anything but all the things i need to fix.

Can you talk a little bit about sourcing the photo-realistic images for the backgrounds in Part Three? —Jack Moulton most of the environments were 2D images i built in photoshop, usually starting from close-up photos of different textures (like sandstone), all sort of reshaped and puzzle-pieced into something new. an easy to see example was david’s cockpit, which was cobbled together from all sorts of different old aircraft engine and machine parts. the trick in building and lighting these locations was always figuring out where the line was drawn in making these places realistic, but not too realistic for minimal characters to inhabit. i kept landing on a sort of painterly looking middle ground.

If the cloning process in World of Tomorrow existed right now, would you go through that process and create clones of yourself to prolong your life? —tim probably not, that process doesn’t seem to work so well.

If you were put into the world you’ve created, would you buy gills? —Lauren Torres i tend to avoid putting my head under because i almost always get water in my ears so i guess i wouldn’t need them. gills also seem like they’d be a real nuisance to keep clean.

What does love mean, and why do your characters go through so much effort to find it? —Andrew Michalko oh man.

In this year of years, what do you hope people will understand about death and its inevitability (or is it all there on the screen, and if so, that’s okay too)? —Letterboxd understanding death and its inevitability is maybe the most valuable thing a person can do for themselves.

Was the absence of Emily Prime in Part Three a practical decision [Don’s then-four-year-old niece Winona provided Emily’s voice] or an intentional departure from the first two films? —Michael it was both. i couldn’t find a way to fit her in naturally and i also felt like the series needed to start growing in other directions and not rest on the past. episode two had also been really difficult to write, it was so reliant on winona’s recordings, and it felt like the dam was really broken when i was finally able to write without any restrictions this time.

In a series like World of Tomorrow, where you headed in a direction that is a lot more plot-driven than your previous work, how far in advance do you plan? Did you always know this was in David’s past, or are these stories told one at a time? —Ryan Welch, Kodiak J. Sanders, julius, Alex Leon i could tell early on that this wasn’t a story like it’s such a beautiful day with a clear beginning, middle and end, but a much wilder thing that could continue to grow. the openness of it is still what makes it so interesting to me. i have all sorts of notes for the next episodes but if i already knew what would happen in episode nine i think that would take a lot of the air out of the tires and i’d start to feel like i was just connecting the boring dots. while writing, i’ve also had to be aware that there someday might be an episode nine so i can’t go wrecking the timelines before i get there.

What were the rocks and the gas pump that Emily fell in love with meant to represent? —Ekaneff she was learning how to love, and like all of us, in her youth she gravitated to a bunch of individuals that were wrong for her.

Aside from the ability to release more frequently, is there something about the episodic structure that you prefer/appreciate, as opposed to creating one larger feature-length film? —SiddFinch1 there’s just more freedom. the traditional running time of a feature film, 90 to 120 minutes, is a totally arbitrary number.

Have you ever considered writing a World of Tomorrow book or graphic novel? —Jay Smith the earliest ideas for world of tomorrow were sloshing around in a graphic novel called the end of the world that came out in 2013. but i don’t have any talent or much confidence in making another book like that. it’s a different world. when i look at someone like chris ware and then look at something like the end of the world, it’s like, “wow, baby made a mess”.

A page from Don Hertzfeldt’s graphic novel, ‘The End of the World’ (2013).

What attracted you to the unique style [of minimalist stick figures]? Is there a sense of intimacy that you feel you can achieve with this simplicity? —Evan Whitford when i was little, before i wanted to make movies i wanted to be a newspaper cartoonist. i think my drawings today might have more in common with newspaper comics than the sort of characters you usually see in animation. comic-strip panels were always composed in a very reserved way because they were generally intended to be skimmed. you needed to be able to read the strip in five seconds so you could be off to read the sports pages and obituaries. the comics pages were also under constant size and space restrictions. so they were minimal by design and the artists reduced their characters to only their most essential parts. there was no room for fussing. charles schulz said “i only draw what’s necessary”. and that’s actually incredibly hard to do. you’re accomplishing so much more with so much less.

i’ve also found that if there’s a scene that’s not playing right and bothering me, most of the time it’s because my composition was too cluttered. i almost always find myself removing things from the frame and trying to pare it down to only what’s necessary. very rarely do i ever think ‘i need to add more stuff in here’. because this shot is only five seconds long and i want you to be looking over here when this moment happens and this character says something, and if you’re distracted by this other flickering junk i put in the corner it’s going to throw everything off.

Animation-aside, which creative medium do you resonate with the most? —Bronkdan music.

How much did you pull from real-life experiences to make It’s Such A Beautiful Day, if any? What research did you conduct into memory? —Gunnar Sizemore, David Sigura, Micah Smith whenever i got a little stuck writing it’s such a beautiful day, i’d go back and reread my journal and pull more things out of it. dreams, conversations, small scenes. reading the journal now, it seems like i stole something from it every few pages. i also heavily researched neurological problems. it’s never said in the movie what exactly’s going on with bill, but i needed there to be a real diagnosis to base the medical writing on. so all the things he’s going through are real treatments or symptoms based on an actual condition. i didn’t want to ever come out and say, “he’s got terminal brain clouds”, or whatever in the movie, because then it becomes a “brain-cloud movie”, and that’s too easy for the audience to compartmentalize and distance themselves from… “brain clouds are so rare, that will never happen to me”. but not being told exactly what’s wrong with bill might help make the story more relatable and universal.

In what ways have you kept your mind fresh creatively? How do you keep yourself from slipping into complacency? —Watchmoviez, Drew’s reviews most creative blocks or stagnation come from anxiety, second-guessing and doubt. over the years i’ve learned to just sort of calm down and trust myself more. it’s like the old aesop fable: when you stop thrashing around in the water, the water becomes clearer and you can see more. if a scene isn’t working right, i can more easily chill out about it these days and trust that i’ll eventually figure it out—because i’ve figured these sorts of things out a hundred times before and i know by now that i’m not the sort of person who’s just going to allow a scene that isn’t working to remain in the movie. there’s a little more panic about that sort of thing when you’re young: “oh no, the movie sucks right now, will it always suck?!” i’ve reached the point where i know that i will not let it suck. and that sort of thinking allows all the movie gears to turn more easily.

Do you have a specific thematic, emotional or other miscellaneous motive in mind when including classical music pieces? —James Y. Lee when i’m listening to music and suddenly the right piece arrives, it’s usually blindingly obvious to me: there’s just no doubt this needs to be in the movie somehow. it’s like the idea has always existed and i’ve just finally uncovered it. it’s the same with writing. when the right thing floats along, it is striking and obvious and into the pile of notes it goes.

How much of your animation style lends itself to experimentation, such as discovering new tricks and pretty shots, that is then discarded if you learn it doesn’t work as intended? —Adam, Jacob i think i’m always experimenting. i figure if it doesn’t work, at least i’ve learned something.

What is the strangest compliment or critique you’ve gotten personally or of your work? —Elliot Taylor i’ve always remembered this one. i am so proud of you came out a couple years after everything will be ok. it was a continuation of that story, so it was basically the first time i had ever made a sequel. and everything will be ok had done really well when it came out. it won sundance and got all these great reviews. so i am so proud of you comes out and i remember reading this review that says, “everything will be ok was probably my favorite animated short of all time. it honestly changed my life. it was funny, sad, beautiful and just so wonderful. everything will be ok, boy did i love it. incredible. two thumbs up. truly, best thing ever. wow. so, unfortunately, its sequel, i am so proud of you, just feels like more of the same.”

A still image from ‘It’s Such a Beautiful Day’ (2012).

Are there any pieces of fiction that have influenced your work that we probably wouldn’t think of? —Gyani Wasp, Mikolaj Perzyna, Aaron McMillan, Harrison, Axel, Cringetacular, The25centman, Hunter Guidry one thing that pops to mind is the phantom tollbooth. my favorite children’s books were the ones with all the fun metaphors and clever wordplay. when i was plotting out episode two i wanted to lean into that, where visiting different sections of emily’s brain would be like milo visiting the land of math, the land of letters, the land of sound, with different looks and logic to it. so we had the bog of realism, glimmers of hope, broken memories, the logic center, and all the stuff in triangle land and square land. i guess that’s a lot but i wish there had been a bit more.

How did your friends and family respond to the “my anus is bleeding” part of Rejected? —Alex Tatterson they were pretty used to me by then.

Do you know of the work of David Firth, the internet animator? His work is also surreal and has dark humor, but more sinister than whimsical. Would you ever consider making an animation in the realm of horror in future? —KEVIИ HДWKIИS i’m afraid i don’t know him. i’d love to make a horror movie. from a certain point of view though maybe it could be argued that most everything i’ve made is a sort of horror movie?

My first tattoo is of Billy from Billy’s Balloon hanging from his ankle and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. How do you feel about people having your work tattooed and do you have any ink from other creatives that have meant something to you? —Elias it really fucking enrages me when people get my stuff tattooed on them. no just kidding. mostly i feel embarrassed but i’m glad you haven’t changed your mind about it yet. sometimes i wonder how many people have.

Have you ever thought about directing live action? —Abeer, Noah Thompson yes.

Is there an update on your feature film Antarctica? —Rylan California it’s one of many things swirling around.

Will you do a remake of Robocop and why not next year? —Simon no, because robocop is already sort of perfect.

Do you ever see yourself directing a large studio film? Or working with a large team to make something with a higher budget, maybe through a crowd-funded project? Or do you just strongly prefer working on your own? —Vteyshev, Monotone Duck sure. i’ve never preferred working on my own at all. it was usually just the only way to ever get anything made. i haven’t had the funding to pay a big crew, or really much of a crew at all. there’s the old saying: you can make something good, you can make it fast, and you can make it cheap, but you can only pick two. if you make it good and fast it won’t be cheap, if you make it cheap and fast it won’t be good, etc. so my only route in hoping to make something good and cheap has been to totally forget about making it fast.

What did you find digital animation added or took away from your work, and what did those changes do for your storytelling? Will you continue using the digital medium when/if you decide to move on from the World of Tomorrow project? —Alec Lai, Slipkornbizkit, Aldo digital just sped everything up. it’s still one person drawing everything, so we need to remember that speed is relative here, but i felt like i went from riding a bicycle to driving a car. there are many pleasant, wonderful things about riding a bicycle but you’re not going to get anywhere very quickly. and i’m not in my 20s anymore, in fact my 20s and 30s were mostly entirely devoured by making movies in what was maybe the slowest way possible. so these days i am appreciating the speed of digital.

If you could have a conversation with any filmmaker, dead or alive, who would it be and why? —ToBeHonest, Cringetacular if i could resurrect one of my heroes from the dead i think i would feel terrible wasting his time forcing him to have a conversation with me. he might also just sit there, covered with graveyard dirt, screaming in horror.

What is the best time of day to watch a movie? —Sammy night. i always feel a little nuts coming out of a movie and the sun is still up.

What’s your all-time favorite science-fiction film, and why? —Letterboxd 2001. because come on.

What is your favorite of Julia Potts’ films, and why? —Letterboxd i like the one with the severed foot.

Are there any animated films that you felt had a profound impact on you as a child? —Sprizzle probably fantasia. and ray harryhausen stuff. whenever there was a sunday-afternoon movie on TV, my brother and i learned that if in the opening titles there was a credit for “special effects” we should keep watching because we might eventually see something cool.

Which one of your movies is your personal favorite? —Jakob Böwer, RodrigoJerez i don’t know. sometimes it’s the newest one because it’s usually the one with the most experience behind it and therefore feels like it has the fewest mistakes. but then over time i realize they’re all riddled with mistakes. of the it’s such a beautiful day pieces, i think my favorite has always been i am so proud of you. and then i’ll see reviews that say “clearly the second chapter is the weakest one”, and i’ll think, man you guys don’t know what you’re talking about.

One of Don’s layout sketches for ‘I Am So Proud of You’ (2008).

What’s your favorite Pixar film? —Jordan inside out.

What film would you want to be the last one you watch before you die? —Gavin honestly if i’m in the process of dying i hope i won’t be watching movies at all.

Do you have faith in humanity? —Connor Kriechbaum not often.

What is something that worries you about where humankind is headed? —Felix_Bouchard social media.

What is the most valuable thing you have ever lost? How often do you think about it? —Siminup well now i’m getting sad.

Can you do a back flip, mister Don? —Doug maybe with the help of a catapult.

What is your take on the after life? What do you think happens to us when we die? —Luisdecoss i guess that it’s probably a lot like our memory of what the year 1823 was like.

Do you want anything from McDonald’s? —Andrew Rhyne only if i’m in an airport and desperate.

What’s your favorite meal or snack? —Pfitzerone, Evan lately in quarantine i’ve been discovering this particular breakfast burrito.

How’s your quarantine life, Don? —Ivan Arcena it’s okay thanks. eating lots of breakfast burritos.

Hi! I can’t believe you’re going to read this. I am currently filled with an unparalleled amount of joy, wow. This is a long shot but here I go. I’m 17 and your (self-proclaimed) biggest fan. I’ve seen It's Such a Beautiful Day eight times now and every single time I pick up on more details. I’ve watched a few of your interviews and in the AFS one about Rejected you said that the louder you play a movie, the funnier it is. On my seventh watch of It’s Such a Beautiful Day I hooked my laptop up to three huge speakers and I must say—you were so, so right. I made a video essay about the movie. Lol, I’m not sure if this will get to you but Michael Jordan once said something about missing shots or not taking shots or maybe about tequila, I am unsure but I know it was important. Thanks MJ. Not you, Mr Jackson. I’m sorry Ms. Jackson…

I actually do have a question, sorry about the rambling. Every single time I watch the guy at the payphone flip his pencil and go “fantastic, fantastic” I cry. And I think what really does it for me is that “we’ll finally have our day”. Earlier in the movie, Bill’s co-worker talks about how all of time is happening at once. So what I constantly ask myself is if the guy at the payphone is simultaneously having his day and waiting for it. And I’m no longer speaking to that one specific example or even to the movie as a whole but I guess I’m wondering if the idea of all events happening at once comforts you?

In Slaughterhouse Five, Kurt Vonnegut writes: “The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist.” When I read this I immediately thought about your movie. I think the idea of all of time happening at once makes all of life feel less important but more special. You know? Anyway, I suppose I’d just like to know what inspired the lines about time in the office scene. This isn’t much of a question, more an incoherent ramble but thank you so, so much for all you’ve done. I feel so incredibly inspired and so deeply moved by your work and I know that so many people in this comment section and around the world would agree. I can’t believe I’ve been given the opportunity to ask something. It really is such a beautiful day. :) —Eli Osei (co-signed by Vooder) that old guy at the payphone was someone i saw at the laundromat once and he borrowed my pencil and the whole thing just played out like in the movie. i just thought it was such a perfect little scene that i’d just witnessed. anyway, the idea of time being a landscape and everything taking place “at once” just came straight out of a science magazine. i don’t know how, but apparently it’s been more or less proven to be true? we perceive time in one direction, but the past and the future are always all around us. think of it as though we’re driving our car through a landscape. even though the mountains we saw ten minutes ago are behind us now, it doesn’t mean those mountains have ceased to exist. they’ve only ceased to exist from our point of view. we’ve only just driven past them. the mountains, like your childhood, are still going on back there. anyway, i had never heard of that before and thought it needed to be in a movie.

A still from ‘World of Tomorrow Episode Two: The Burden of Other People’s Thoughts’ (2017).

Are you a fan of Kurt Vonnegut by any chance? It may be coincidental, but I love how you both utilize science-fiction settings and concepts like being “unstuck from time/memory” to explore the human condition. I feel his writing and your animation are both capable of making me laugh wholeheartedly one minute and weeping genuine, sorrowful tears the next. —Vooder i’m embarrassed to say i’ve never read him and i’m told on a regular basis that i should. that all started after i am so proud of you came out with those discussions about time being a landscape. but i almost only ever read non-fiction. it’s a long story. but now i’m almost afraid to ever read vonnegut after all these years of build-up.

Hey Don, this is really cool. I don’t have as much of a question, more of a comment. It’s Such A Beautiful Day has gotten me through a lot of hard times, being in middle school sucks, I think everyone knows that: and your movie has made life just a wee bit better for me. It also gave me the inspiration and motivation to finish my first feature! Thanks lots. Love from Indiana —Blood Mountain: Experimental Cinema <3 hey thank you. yeah middle school was pretty much the deepest pit of hell. there’s this old saying, “if you find yourself in hell, keep going”. and i’ve never understood that saying. “keep going”, because, i guess, you can always just go deeper into hell?

Hi! Has the vitreous humour in your eyes started to deteriorate and have you experienced floaters within your eyeballs? If not, that’s okay. Just remember it’s part of life, so don’t get scared when it happens! Just keep moving on! But if you do have them, follow-up question: Do you think it’s funny that the body of vitreous fluid that allows your sight to be clear is called the vitreous humour, and when it detaches it’s anything but humorous? I find that pretty humorous myself, in, like, an ironic way. —Clbert1 i actually blew a blood vessel in my eye a couple weeks ago and the whole thing turned bright blood red. it didn’t hurt or anything, i just walked into the room all disgusting and my girlfriend was like, “what the fuck?!” and then the next day i had further weird eye problems. i just went to the eye doctor yesterday. i think i will be fine but i was thinking, wouldn’t it be like the most heavy metal thing ever for my biography if i just suddenly went BLIND? “and then in 2020, HE WENT BLIND.”

Will Intro ever be released to the general public outside of theater screenings? —Melissa okay yes you’ve talked me into it. on that note, i noticed that the poster of intro used on letterboxd is a weird fake and i’m not sure where it came from. someone just used a picture from rejected. if fake posters are to be made i would prefer it if they used a picture from raiders of the lost ark or something.

Do you have plans to combine the World of Tomorrow shorts into one feature-length film à la It’s Such a Beautiful Day? —David Sigura, Sam Stewart, An_Person no, it’s going to be much longer than a feature-length.

Will we ever get a ‘Hertzfeldt 4K Collection’? Or at least a Blu-ray with It’s Such a Beautiful Day and all episodes of World of Tomorrow? —Teebin, HippityHoppity there is actually already a blu-ray for it’s such a beautiful day. up next we’ll do some sort of world of tomorrow blu-ray of the first three episodes. but 4k is too many k’s. you don’t need that many k’s.

Would you ever consider comprising an OST album of all the songs you used and mixed from your films? —PhiloDemon i don’t think so. i read that for many years cat stevens resisted releasing his original songs from harold and maude on any records because he thought they were more special if you could only ever hear them in the movie. i like that.

Do you get a sick kind of pleasure from emotionally destroying people with your movies? —MaxT26 yep.

What’s been your ongoing experience of the outpouring of joy and love of your work? —Henry gratitude. how sad for me if, after all this work, nobody was watching at all.