#this stupid ass pose with this stupid ass car in this stupid ass fake 'deep' filter 😭

[jrueships]

that one boy band member who tries to branch solo through a slow song that doesn't go anywhere

[kazosa]

A Mutually Beneficial Arrangement - Part 3

Summary: All you wanted was to use your skills in automotive engineering and design to open your own custom car shop. When the rug gets yanked out from under you, one of your regular customers offers you a job that you just can’t resist. Will it stay a mutually beneficial arrangement, or will something unexpected bloom?

Pairing: AU Dean Winchester x Reader

Appearances by: Bobby Singer, Ellen (Harvelle) Singer, John Winchester, Ryan

Chapter Synopsis: The trip to Kansas and meeting the Singers and John Winchester. Will they believe that the reader is really Dean’s fiancé, or will they see through the ruse?

Word count: 5550

Warnings: alcohol consumption, language, awkwardness

Tagging: @coffee-obsessed-writer   @closetspngirl   @sorenmarie87   @adoptdontshoppets   @parinarain   @his-paradox   @babykalika2001   @docharleythegeekqueen   @22sarah08   @flamencodiva   @mirandaaustin93  @collette04   (if you want to be added to the tags, holla)

    You were in the Impala waiting for Dean. He had stopped at yet another gas station. Baby was a great car, but she didn’t sip gas, she guzzled. You got out your phone while you waited.

    “This is beginning to be a bad habit,” Ryan said when she answered the phone. “How is it going?”

    “It’s good,” you were trying to keep your excitement under control. “The day I told him, we had dinner at his place, and we drank all of his booze.”

    “Thank God,” she was fully aware of how you were wen you were drinking. “Did ya get it?”

    “Get what?”

    “Oh, come on. You know exactly what I mean. Impala Guy is HOT. Please tell me you at least let him round the bases.”

    “You’ve been hanging out with Donna too much,” you observed.

    “Well?”

    “No. He fell asleep on the couch. We were talking ‘til really late,” you explained. “I… had to sleep in his bed.”

    “That’s kinda hot… what happened yesterday? Did you get the jewels yet?” Ryan wanted to know.

    “Oh my God, yes. They’re these gorgeous emeralds in gold. Amazing,” you confirmed. “We’re about 70 miles outside of Lawrence. He’s been going slow this last leg. Oh, and we got fake engaged last night.”

    “What?! That’s the stuff you need to lead with! How did that happen?!”

    “We posed as a married couple for the earrings and it was…” you sighed, “SO good. He fell into it naturally. I think he might have actually liked it. He’s letting me borrow his grandmother’s ring.”

    “You need to send me a picture of that as soon as we hang up. So, why’s he taking so long to get there? How long have you been on the road?”

    “Getting close to eight hours,” you said. “Stopped for gas twice and lunch. This time is a top-off and a pee break.”

    “TMI honey. Maybe he just wants to hang out with you and not his family,” Ryan suggested.

    Ryan probably wasn’t far off. Dean hadn’t out right expressed hesitation, but you could feel it.

    “Yeah, maybe. Finally. Here he comes, gotta go,” you told Ryan when you saw him crossing to the car.

   “Picture!” Ryan reminded. “Bye!”

    Dean opened the door and got in the car.

    “Bye!” you hung up. You’d already taken a picture of the gorgeous ring and quickly sent it to Ryan.

    “Who’re you talkin’ to?” Dean was curious.

    “My friend, Ryan, I told you about. She was checking up on me,” you answered.

    “Did you tell her how handsome I am and what a perfect gentleman I’ve been?” he aske with a hint of mischief.

    You laughed, “Um, yeah, actually, and she’s a little disappointed.”

    He started the car and pulled out of the gas station.

    “Disappointed? Did you not sell this?” he moved his hand up and down by his face as he drove.

    “She’s disappointed for… other reasons,” you couldn’t believe you were even hinting at sex with Dean.

    “Oh?”

    You raised your eyebrows at him and nodded.

    “Oh,” he grinned. “Well, keeping it professional.” He mocked being serious.

    “Absolutely,” you agreed.

    A few moments passed and Dean’s demeanor went to real seriousness.

    “I think I should warn you about my dad,” he saw he had your attention. “He’s… a jerk. There aren’t a lot of people that like him. Bobby only hangs around because they have a history and because Dad keeps his nose out of the dealerships.”

    “Does Bobby like him?” you were a little concerned.

    Dean took a beat to think on it.

    “I think Bobby respects him,” Dean said, but didn’t say but I don’t think he likes him. “Anyway, he’s gonna say things to you, because of me, that you probably won’t like.”

    “What kind of things?” now you were really concerned.

    “I told you I used to ‘date’ less than reputable women…”

    “Wow. Your dad seems so charming,” sarcasm was your reliable friend in times of stress.

    “Yeah, he’s a real peach. Just don’t let the facade fool you.”

    “What about your brother and his fiancé?”

    “Sam…he’s as smart as they come. Lawyer. Bit of a stick in the mud… grammar nazi… thinks he’s doing the right thing though he’s wrong half the time. Jess is a piece of work. She doesn’t always mean to be a bitch, but she really can come off that way. It’ll just hit you later.”

    You bit your lip, then said, “My how you paint a picture.”

    “They’re not so bad once you get used to ‘em,” Dean offered.

    After he let you in on what his family was really like, you thought maybe you should let him in on a little secret you’d been keeping.

    “I have something I need to tell you, too,” you began. “It always comes up when people find out what I do. It’s like some weird compulsion to ask. Like the validity of my chosen career is dependent on it…”

    “Just rip off the band aid.”

    “I drive a Tesla,” you blurted. The words came out more like one long word than an actual sentence. You cringed waiting for his reaction.

    “I don’t even know what to say to you right now,” Dean looked like he was going to be sick. “How do you get anywhere long-distance?!” He wasn’t yelling, but he was fully horrified at your choice in car. It was almost comical.

    “I fly,” you said, finding his behavior amusing, “or I drive my other car. But my Tesla has really good range and hauls ass.”

    Dean had a pained look on his face. He hadn’t expected the band aid to sting so much. “Oh God, what’s your other car?” Don’t say hybrid. Don’t say hybrid. Don’t say hybrid.

    You were getting the giggles, “An… Altima,” you said between giggles, “hybrid.”

    “Goddamnit,” he hit the steering wheel with the palm of his hand. “I can’t talk to you right now. No more talking.”

    “Dean…”

    “Nope!” he put his hand up and shook his head, “Shh…”

    Dean listened to the deep rumble Baby produced as he pressed the gas pedal. Good, American muscle car. Now that’s what a car should sound like, he thought.

    “Alright,” he broke the silence. “What’s your top speed?”

    “Two-fifty.”

    He snorted in disbelief. Admittedly, he hadn’t seen a Tesla in action, and he hadn’t been keeping up on the new car specs. That was an impressive top-speed.

    “What’s the zero to sixty?”

    “You know, I’m kind of excited to meet your family,” you were desperate to change the topic.

    “What’s the matter sweetheart, embarrassed?”

   “No. I just feel like we’re playing ‘whose sword is bigger’.”

    “Oh, I know my sword is bigger,” he was goading you, but you resolved not to take the bait. “Show me yours, I’ll show you mine,” you mumbled to the window.

    “Any time, darlin’,” he heard you.

    “Okay, but I wanna drive a GOAT or something comparable,” you countered.

    “You are so on,” Dean said and made a mental note to check into Telsa.

       Th closer he got to the house, the more he wanted to turn around and head back to Bemidji. Life was normal there. No one gave a shit about him. He could do his work and fade into the background. No stupid gala’s he had to attend for a company he wanted but would probably never have. He looked at (Y|N) to gauge her mood.

    “I can handle them, Dean,” she tried to reassure him.

    “I know you can,” he answered back. He made the turn into the lane and slowly drove up to the house.

      The drive up the lane was a sight you hadn’t expected. Dean always called it ‘the farm.’ All the farms you had ever been to had livestock and crops. The Winchester ‘farm’ was more like an acreage with out buildings. The house itself was two-stories, quite old, and massive. The wrap-around porch had a swing secured near the ceiling. The house had to be at least a hundred years old and you couldn’t wait to see inside.

    Dean came around the front of the car to where you stood by your closed door. He looked slightly apologetic as he approached you. He swung his arms out wide, his palms slapping his thighs as he let them drop. Dean leaned on the car in front of you, his arm propped on the roof.

    “Last chance to back out,” he offered.

    “A deal’s a deal,” you put your arm between him and the car and around his back. “I’ve got your back.”

    He put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you to him. For the tenth time that day, he wished the week were over.

    “I’ve got you, too. If it gets too much, you let me know,” he said, his lips brushing your temple.

    You could feel yourself melting into him despite the frigid air.

    “Alright,” you squeezed him, “showtime!”

    You were nervous as hell thought you were trying to put on a good face for Dean. It didn’t take a psychologist to realize he was wary, too. For a second, he held you just as tightly before letting you go and taking your hand.

    “Leave the bags, I’ll get them later. It’s too damn cold out here,” he looked back at you, his eyes crinkled, squinting against the bright sun.

    He led you up the steps, your hand in his. At the door, you stood close to him as he opened it and stepped through. There was no turning back now.

       Dean had to give the front door a fir push to open it. It still stuck in the same spot it always had. The house was warm inside, and a fire was going in the fireplace. It surprised him, a little, that that house had Christmas decorations and a tree. (Y|N) was hesitant behind him, but she followed a moment later when he stepped further into the entryway.

    “El, would you look what the cat dragged in?” Bobby saw Dean first and got up off the couch to greet him. “Damn good to see ya, son! We weren’t sure you’d show up.”

    “Hey, Bobby,” the two men hugged tightly, Bobby slapping Dean’s back. “Good to see you, old man.”

    The two broke their embrace and Bobby warned Dean, “Watch it, son. I may be an old man, but I can still whoop your scrawny ass.”

    Ellen had come over from her spot on the couch to say hello to Dean and hug him as well.

    “Good to see you, Dean. It’s been too long. Me ‘n’ the old man wasn’t sure you’d be coming,” Ellen said.

    You smirked at the glare Bobby gave Ellen.

    “Ah, well,” Dean shrugged, “it’s Christmas.”

    “Exactly,” Ellen implied it was why she thought he wouldn’t show up. “Still, glad you’re here.”

    The greetings out of the way, Bobby and Ellen turned their scrutiny to you.

    “Have you finally brought someone home to meet the family?” Ellen asked first. Clearly, she was surprised at your presence.

    “Boy, don’t just stand there like an idjit, introduce us!” Bobby was shocked at Dean’s poor manners.

    Dean had a half-smile on his face. You were still nervous, but excited to finally meet them. Dean had said nothing but good things about Bobby and Ellen Singer. The only pressure you had was to look like Dean’s fiancé. They didn’t have to like you, only Dean did, but you knew it was important to Dean that the Singers liked you.

    “Bobby, Ellen,” Dean was looking at you now, “This is (Y|N), my fiancé.”

   You fought the urge to laugh at the shocked expressions on their faces, but you waited for them to say something in return.

    “You’re a fine one for secrets!” Bobby grumbled to Dean. “Hello, darlin’, nice to meet you.”

    The Conway Twitty song immediately got stuck in your head.

    “Forgive our shock, but we didn’t even know Dean was seeing anyone, let alone a fiancé.” Ellen explained.

    “He did only ask me last night,” you offered.

    Dean put his arm around you again, “Wanted to make sure she said ‘yes’ before she met my crazy family.”

    Ellen gave Dean a look that said she heard what he said but couldn’t decide of how much of it she believed. Dean had always been good about keeping his mouth shut, even in the toughest of circumstances. She just couldn’t believe she didn’t notice a change in Dean. A change that usually happens when he’s seeing someone new, but not this time.

    “The house looks beautiful,” you observed, breaking the tension and taking off your outerwear.

    Dean followed suit while Ellen explained.

    “Thank you. I came out here yesterday and did all this,” she said. “Scrooge likes to put on a good show, he just can’t manage doing the house,” Ellen rolled her eyes. “Come on in, honey. Getcha anything to drink?”

    You gave Dean a quick glance and he gave you a barely detectable nod.

    “Yeah, that sounds great. What do you have?”

    “Everything under the sun and an assortment of holiday standards. C’mon into the kitchen, take a look,” Ellen didn’t wait, she just swung her arm for you to follow and went to the kitchen.

       Dean was still appreciating the view of (Y|N) disappearing into the kitchen when Bobby started in on him.

    “What in the hell has gotten into you? Have you lost your damned mind? Your daddy is gonna flip his lid when he sees his mamma’s ring on her hand.”

    Dean didn’t know if Bobby was angry or if he was trying to protect him.

    “Well, normal people would be happy if their son got engaged,” Dean mused.

    “I’m sorry, son, of course I’m happy for you, it’s just all so sudden,” Bobby explained.

    They moved into the living room and sat down near the fire to talk.

    “You better tell me. Who is this girl and why are we only finding out about her after you get engaged,” Bobby wanted to know.

    Dean half-laughed. (Y|N) was right, it was good to get everything down before.

    “She’s actually my mechanic. I asked her out about a year ago. We just hit it off,” Dean shrugged. He thought about the last few days, “She just makes me a better man. I like who I am when I’m with her.”

    “This wouldn’t have anything to do with Sam and Jess and your dad thinking about retiring, would it?”

    Nothing in the world felt as heavy, or hit harder, than Bobby’s gaze in that moment. The man seemed to always know when something wasn’t as it appeared. For as much as he wanted to tell Bobby the truth, he just couldn’t, not yet.

    “See? This is what I’m talking about. I tell you what’s going on and I still get questioned. I love her. That should be enough,” Dean wasn’t yelling, but he was getting upset. He took a breath and steeled himself and wondered where that sudden feeling of protecting (Y|N) came from.

    “I think the ladies had a good idea getting a drink,” Bobby said.

       “What’s your poison?” Ellen asked as she pulled glasses out of the cupboard.

    You told her your favorite and she grabbed a bottle to pour one for you and one for herself. Ellen eyed you with suspicion but admitted, “You have good taste,” and raised her glass. Giving her a nod, you raised your own and you both took a drink.

    “Why do you suppose Dean never told us about you?” She cut right to the chase.

    Dean had filled you in about what you were up against. You remembered that he said Ellen could sniff out bullshit and to just be as truthful as possible.

    “Dean told me about his past. I suppose he didn’t want to disappoint you all again,” you said.

    You could almost see the gears turning in Ellen’s thoughts. She was weighing your words against what she knew to be true.

    “Did he take you to some dive bar on your first date?”

    “No, actually, we were supposed to go out to eat. He didn’t show up to pick up his car like he was supposed to, so I hunted his ass down,” you chuckled at the memory. “When I found him, he had the mash and juice all over him. He ended up taking me to his place and we ordered in. It was really nice. We drank all of his booze and talked until he passed out.”

    Ellen cocked an eyebrow at you, “You… drank Dean Winchester… under the table?”

    “What?! When?!” Dean walked into the kitchen with Bobby.

    “Our first date,” you told Dean as he reached up to get two tumblers out of the cupboard.

    Dean opened a bottle of Jonnie Walker Double Black and poured two fingers in each glass, handing one to his adopted uncle and keeping the other for himself.

    “I was tired,” he stressed, like he’d had to explain himself more than once on the subject. “I didn’t get much sleep the night before and I made it to 3 AM, thank you.”

    “All I’m hearing is excused,” you teased.

    “One time. It hasn’t happened since, but she won’t let me forget it,” he played along.

    Dean gave you a grin and sipped at the whisky.

    “Ohhh…” he caught his breath, “Nectar of the gods.”

    “Warms the soul dudnit?” Bobby said, sipping his own.

    “Yeah,” Dean’s voice was raspy.

    The whisky looked good and you’d never tried it.

    “Can I have a taste?” you asked.

    Dean did a slow mosey over to where you’d sat at the kitchen island. His fingers lightly brushed yours as he handed you the glass. The dark liquid swirled in the glass as you held it, the smoky aroma hitting your nose. Taking a moment to appreciate the whisky, and the close proximity of Dean, you became aware of the heat that seemed to radiate from his body.

    When he’d give you his glass, he rested his arm on the back of your bar stool. Your instincts told you to put your arm around his waist like you had at the store. Dean moved closer, still chatting with Bobby.

    “Where is Dad, anyway?” Dean asked.

   You brought the glass to your lips. Th smooth liquid took a few seconds to make its presence known with it’s familiar burn. You let it rest on your tongue to get the full flavor and effect. Smoke. Vanilla. Fruit. Spice.

    “Oh, he’s in town brow-beating the caterer,” Bobby said, enjoying his own tumbler.

    Finally, you could no longer take the burn and let it numb your throat.

    “Holy moly,” you rested your head on Dean’s shoulder.

    Dean responded to your comment and movement.

    “Finally met your match, sweetheart?” he asked reaching for the glass.

    You expertly moved it out of his reach.

    “Mine now,” you teased, then handed it back. “Man, that’s good. Not sure I’ll be able to taste dinner now.”

    “Ellen’s cooking, probably best,” Bobby said softly, but everyone heard anyway.

    “Robert Singer!” Ellen whipped a wet dishcloth at his face. The “splat” sound it made when it hit made everyone laugh.

    None of you heard the door off the kitchen open and close. It made the sudden appearance of John Winchester that much more startling.

    “What’s going on in here?” John’s voice boomed in the kitchen, making everyone fall silent.

   “My husband was just embarrassing me in front of Dean’s… new lady,” Ellen grumped. “My cooking is not that bad.”

     “Not that good, either,” Bobby said into his glass.

    Ellen moved from behind the island, not looking at John, and collected her husband.

    “Alcohol makes you bold, Robert” she said as she pushed him out of the room.

    You sat in stunned silence as Dean and his dad had a mini stare-down. John wasn’t unhappy to see his son, but he wasn’t overly excited, either.

    “Hi Dad,” Dean said.

    “Dean,” John crossed he space and hugged him. “Good to see you, son. I’m glad you’re here. Didn’t know you were coming.”

    You elbowed Dean.

    “You invited me,” he said. “Thought it’d be okay.”

    “Of course, it is, you know what I mean,” John looked at you, a half-smile on his face. “And a plus one, I see.”

    John seemed nice. You were expecting someone different. Dean took a breath to brace himself and turned to you.

    “(Y|N), this is my dad, John Winchester,” he said waving his hand between the two of you. “Dad… (Y|N) is my fiancé.”

    John’s eyes went to your left hand where his mother’s ring was clearly visible.

    “It’s nice to meet the woman who has stolen my boy’s heart,” he said, extending his hand to you. You jumped down form your barstool to take his hand.

    “Very nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about all of you, it’s nice to meet everyone in person,” you were almost gushing and reminded yourself to reel it in.

    “Hmm,” John released your hand. “It’s funny you should mention that. I don’t remember Dean saying anything about you.” He eyed you, “You must be the real deal. Dean’s never brought one of his lady friends to the house before, certainly not for the gala.” He paused a beat, “You are here for the whole week, right?”

    You nodded.

   “Well then, whisky be damned, we need a bottle of champagne! Not every day my oldest son gets engaged.”

    Dean couldn’t believe his good luck. He thought his dad would have something bad to say about the bombshell he thought he’d dropped. Knowing his father, he didn’t want to get too excited, it still might land…

   You watched John disappear down a staircase behind a door you’d assumed led to the basement wine cellar. He seemed nice enough, but there was something not quite right about him and about what he’d said, you just couldn’t put your finger on it…

    “So,” you began, “your dad seems okay, so far.”

    Dean was standing very close.

   “Yeah, it’s weird. He doesn’t usually like the women I date,” he admitted. “But I kinda did that on purpose, too.”

    “Bring home a lot of winners, did ya?” you teased.

    Dean shrugged, “More like sneak ‘em out.”

    He saw you giving him a look.

    “When I was a horny teenager,” he covered.

    “An as a horny adult?” you asked.

    “Haha. Those were more just meetings in passing,” his voice was low. “And it helped it irritated him.”

    “Such a charmer,” you said.

    Dean slipped his arms between yours and around your back. Moving half a step forward, you left no space between you. His arms felt nice as you ran your hands up the back of them and over his shoulders. He felt so good pressed against you, warm and firm under the soft flannel.

    “I do have my redeeming qualities,” he grinned.

    Yeah you do, you thought. Dean seemed happy and you were glad of it. He’d been tense the last hour of the drive to the house, which reminded you…

    “Dean, what about the bags? We’re staying here, aren’t we? It seems like no one was expecting to see us…”

    “Of course, you’re staying here,” John seemed to have a knack for suddenly appearing.

    Dean let go of you suddenly, like he’d gotten caught sneaking kisses. Wish he would kiss me, you thought.

    “Dean grab some champagne glasses,” John instructed and moved into the living room, pulling off the foil top as he walked. “Ellen, what the hell were you doing in my kitchen?”

    John’s voice faded off as he went into the living room were Bobby and Ellen were again seated. Dean had moved to another cupboard and was pulling out plain glasses.

    “Dean, honey, no,” you put your hand on his arm.

    He watched as she put the glasses away, appreciating what the stretch did for her body. She, instead, took out the long, skinny glasses and put them in front of him. All things considered, she was doing just fine with his family, but he was still concerned about his dad. He knew better than to think he’d turned over a new leaf.

    It had been so easy to fall into his loving fiancé role with (Y|N). He had to remind himself that at the end of their week together, it was all over and to not get used to her being around. There was a job to do and he was going to do it. The plan was working so far, and she wanted to get her own shop going. She had her own incentive to make sure everything played well… but it definitely didn’t suck having her in his corner, or on his arm.

    “Should I get out seven?” she asked.

    “No. Sammy and Jess will be in tomorrow,” he answered. “C’mon, I’m sure they’re dying to tell you embarrassing stories about me.” He grabbed four of the glasses, leaving her the remaining one to carry. From the living room, they heard the telltale ‘pop’ and cheers from Bobby and Ellen.

      Not willing to risk eating Ellen’s dinner, John ordered pizza be delivered. They drank the bottle of champagne, gorged on pizza, and finished of the bottle of Jonnie Walker. Everyone was having a nice time, talking and telling stories about Dean and Sam when they were growing up.

    A full stomach, adult drinks, long drive in the car, laughing at their stories, had made you very tired. Dean was sitting on the corner of the sofa, one arm resting on the top of the cushion, the other on the armrest. You were past drowsy and had almost dozed off a couple times, the couch was so comfortable, and you were leaning against Dean…

    You put your hand on Dean’s knee to help pull yourself up off the couch.

    “I’m sorry, everyone, it’s been a long day and I can’t keep my eyes open,” you regretted to tell them. It had been an enjoyable evening and you hated for it to end. Dean followed you as you stumbled your way to the stairs while you and Dean said your goodnights to everyone.

      “There are so many stairssss,” (Y|N) was taking each stair like she was summiting Everest.

    “Keep moving,” he encouraged with a hand on her lower back. “Are you drunk?”

    “No…” she paused to think, “I’m not, but I’m buzzing pretty hard. Suuuuper close, though.”

    He chuckled, “Yeah, okay.”

    At the top of the stairs, he pointed out Sam’s old room but said that Bobby and Ellen would probably stay there for the night. He guided her around to the front of the house where his room was and led her inside, closing the door behind them.

    (Y|N) stood in the middle of the room just looking around. It didn’t look much like it did when he was growing up. His dad had finished renovating the upper floor after he and Sam had moved out for good. When he came back after his mom died, that was when he’d seen the first changes and it just slowly became his dad’s house after that. It looked more like a fancy hotel room than his boyhood home.

    Dean went to the bathroom and reached inside the door to turned on the light. He did a quick check to make sure there were towels and toilet paper.

    “Dude, your room is huge. You could fit two and a half of my room in here. This is amazing,” she was walking around, looking at things. She went to the windows and looked out, “Wow. This is really nice. How many times did you sneak in and out?”

    The room had three large windows that were at the front of the house and overlooked the wraparound porch. It had been so easy to climb down, or up, when he needed to get away.

    “Not as much as you’d think, but enough. Way more than my parents knew about,” he rubbed the back of his neck, sheepish.

    “Looks cold out there,” the light from the front yard showed that it was snowing and blowing hard.

    “Do you ice skate?” he asked looking out the window with her.

    She turned to him with a smirk on her face, “Do you?!”

    “Hey, I asked first,” he countered.

    “I can,” she said, “not well, or graceful, but I can scoot around a rink… mostly. Why?”

    He went back to the bed where he and Bobby had put their bags and unzipped his duffel bag, pulling out his pajamas. (Y|N) went to hers and pulled out a shockingly similar set.

    “Dad likes to have something planned for each day. Tomorrow is skating,” he said undoing the buttons on his flannel.

    “You skate?” she asked again.

    “Not on purpose,” he threw his shirt on the floor.

    “Uh-uh,” she shook her head, “after a year together, no way I let you throw dirty clothes on the floor.”

    He sighed and picked up his shirt and put it in the basket in his closet. It surprised him that it was still there along with some of his things. He pulled out a shoebox and brought it back to the bed.

    “I’m gonna…” he grabbed his kit and pajamas and went to the bathroom.

       Quickly, you changed out of your clothes and got on your pajamas. Dark blue, green, and black plaid flannel set. You were buttoning your shirt when you heard the water shut off in the bathroom and the door opened again.

    He stepped out holding his clothes and ready for bed. You noticed the smell of mint as you passed by with your toothbrush and paste. You moved as quickly as you could because you were dying to see what was in the box.

    When you were done in the bathroom and went back out, Dean was under the covers and propped up with the pillows looking through the contents of the box. It struck you suddenly about how adorable he was. He only had a small grin on his face, but he looked happy, too. The tension was gone as he looked at his memories.

    Apparently, he’d assumed you’d be sleeping with him. You supposed it didn’t matter much. It was a king-sized bed, after all. Plus, you’d practically been sleeping on him downstairs… Just thinking about it gave you butterflies and a body shudder.

    “Sorry,” Dean noticed your shudder, “Dad likes to keep it cold up here.” He stopped to look up at you then flipped the covers back on your side. “I’ll be a gentleman, I promise.”

    How disappointing, you thought.

    “Better than raging hellfire,” you said. “My grandpa would always keep the house so hot on holidays.”

    You climbed into the bed with Dean and scooted to his side so you could see what he was looking at. He dug through the box showing you the items he’d saved and the stories behind them. While it was great to see what was important to Dean, there were pictures at the bottom of the box that had caught your eye.

     When he quickly tried to skip one, you snatched the stack out of his hand an looked at he picture in all it’s glory. Your mouth dropped open at the sight. The red sweatband and sunglasses would have been enough to catch your attention, but there was more, so much more.

   “I can explain,” he said.

    You fought of a round of giggles and kept your eyes riveted to the picture. You had so many questions.

    “I think you’d better,” you chuckled.

    “The school needed a gym teacher. It was a few years after mom died. I needed to do something.”

    “Is that the uniform the school gave you or did you pick it?” It was so hard not to laugh, you were almost crying.

    “It’s the school uniform,” Dean was less amused.

    “Oh God,” you sighed, “it’s all so tight…”

    “The whistle made me their god,” he was reverent.

    “Look at your cute lil knees!” you took a cleansing breath and look up at the ceiling.

    “You done?” he asked.

    You fanned yourself with the pictures.

    “I think I have a crush on Coach Winchester,” you said, beaming at him.

    “Alright,” he grabbed the pictures from your hand and started putting everything back in the box, “you clearly need to sleep.”

    You turned off your bedside lamp when Dean was putting the box back in the closet and got your pillows situated. Your heart was racing as you looked at the t-shirt stretched across his broad back, causing the wicked pace. You were very much enjoying the thought of him in that uniform, but you were also going to be sleeping next to one of the most attractive men you had ever seen in real life.

    Finally, you were both settled, and Dean had his light off. You couldn’t tell if he was facing your or not, but there was one last thing you had to know.

    “Hey, Dean?” you began.

    A loud sigh came from his side of the bed. Your eyes had adjusted to the dark and you could see his profile.

    “Yeah?” he answered.

    “Do you still have the uniform?”

    You could see him smile and turn his head to you.

    “Maybe. Go to sleep, ya freak.”

[impalasutra]

Fake

Summary: The reader asks Gabriel to be her fake boyfriend for a family wedding but her ex decides to show up to the event, anyway, making Gabriel jealous.

Authors: @nobodys-baby-now and @impalasutra (aka @revwinchester)

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Fake dating, obnoxious ex, cursing, unprotected sex, jealous sex, claiming

Word Count: 4103

A/N: @nobodys-baby-now and I had SO MUCH fun writing this together for our friend @thewhiterabbit42‘s birthday!  We took turns writing “100″ words (I think the shortest section is about 150... the longest approached 500... we are not good at sticking to our own rules... haha)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RABBIT!!!!!

Fake -  

“Gabriel?” She asked, using that voice, the one that she knew he couldn’t resist.  “Can I ask you a favor?”

Gabriel looked up from the book he had been flipping through.  “What can I do for you, sugar?”  

She held out a fancy envelope in front of the archangel.  “So, my cousin is getting married in a couple of days.  I was supposed to go with Max but, well, you know...”  She paused for a minute, rubbing at the back of her neck as memories of the man who broke her heart the week earlier flooded into her mind.  “The invite is for two and it would raise a lot of questions that I’m not ready to answer yet if I showed up to this thing alone.  Any chance you’d pose as my boyfriend for the weekend?”

The room was filled with a foreign silence, nothing ever left him speechless, but her question had taken him by surprise and he didn’t know how to react. He narrowed his eyes to stare at the little square in her hands, even though he didn’t need to. After a moment, he focused his attention from it to her, and slowly raised his brows.

He could see her growing anxious as she expected his answer, and he could feel a weird sensation at the pit of his stomach. All he had to do was answer, but he was dumb.

Yes, he’d done things for her before, they’re friends, best friends some would say. He’d saved her life in more than one occasion, he’d taken her home after getting stupid wasted and passing out in a barstool, he even got slightly protective when he find out she had a boyfriend, and considered snapping his ass into another dimension when he dumped her.

That’s what friends did.

“Me -” he pointed a finger towards himself and then towards her- “Your… boyfriend?”

“Y-yes, Gabe… Fake boyfriend.”

“Fake boyfriend.  Right.  That’s what I meant.”  He could do that.  Couldn’t he?  He was an archangel, he could do anything.  “Of course I’ll go with you.  I’ll be the best fake boyfriend you’ve ever had.”  Gabriel wagged his eyebrows at Y/N and blew her a kiss, loving the way it made her react, like she was suddenly shy around him.

Y/N composed herself quickly and punched him in the arm.  “Cut it out, ya jackass,” she laughed.

Gabriel joined in her laughter, glad to see her smile again after having to bring up her jerk of an ex.  “What? I was just practicing!”  He stood and pulled Y/N into a hug.  “We gotta make it look real, like we’ve been traveling the world together.  You know, you could take a break from hunting for a little bit and we could travel the world.  All it would take is a thought.”  Gabriel lifted his hand and prepared to snap but Y/N grabbed it before he had a chance.

“Don’t you dare.”  She glared at him with all her might until she cracked and her face broke into a smile.  “I’ve got a case to solve and you know as much as the Winchesters are practically my brothers, they’d be lost without me.”  She slipped out of his hug and left him standing alone in the library, throwing a “Thanks again Gabe” over her shoulder as she left.

He watched her walk away, slightly swaying her hips as she did so. Slowly, a smirk began to pull his lips at the thought of them getting a break away from hunting and the Winchesters. It continued so until he was standing alone at the library, smiling like an idiot.

“You… what?” She asked to the person on the other side of the phone, finding it hard to ask a coherent question, while trying her best to remain unfazed at what she had just been told.

Gabriel’s focus moved from the road to her, as he sat in the passenger's seat of her old car. He’d tried to convince her to snap them up at the location, but she’d claimed they needed the trip to build up details about their fake relationship.

“Oh, I hadn't heard you right!” She lied, he knew she had. “Thank you, I’ll see you tonight.” She hung up the phone and kept driving in silence, but he stared at her, waiting for an explanation.

“Well?” He finally asked, after realizing staring at her wasn’t going to make her talk.

Even asking didn’t seem to work, though.  Y/N continued to stare straight ahead, the skin on her knuckles lightening with how tight she gripped the steering wheel.  Gabriel contemplated just reading her mind but he knew she wouldn’t appreciate that so he carefully nudged her shoulder, instead.  “Sugar, what’s up?”

The contact seemed to break her from whatever had suddenly stressed her out and she turned to look at him briefly, a real smile on her face for a second before she turned her eyes back to the road, her lips growing tight again.  “That was Max.”

Gabriel felt tension in his body, too, at her ex’s name but he made himself relax, he wouldn’t be any help to Y/N if he got upset.

After a long pause, she continued talking.  “He’s decided that he’s going to come to the wedding after all.  I mean, you heard the call.  I told him that his seat was spoken for, that there wouldn’t be space or food for him but he insisted.”  Y/N stopped and took a deep breath before she whispered,  “He… he says he misses me.”

His jaw tightened as soon as the words left her mouth, “well, isn’t that great?! Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, doesn’t it?” He thought bitterly, allowing himself a moment to be salty.

What he didn’t expect, was to suddenly have her eyes on him. Her mouth hung slightly open, as she stared at him dumbfoundedly.

“Gabe, you know I’m not gonna fall for that, right?” She said in a hesitant tone, as if she was trying to convince herself as well.

Then, it was his turn to stare at her like a deer caught in headlights. Gabriel realized he’d actually said that out loud, and not inside his head only. He drummed his fingers over his knee in a fidgety manner, trying to come up with something to say, and fast.

“I know. I was just, you know -” He was rambling, stumbling with his own words. “It’s annoying to me when people make dumb decisions and then don’t deal with the consequences.”

It wasn’t the entire truth, but it wasn’t a lie either. She seemed to believe him, as she nodded and turned her eyes back on the road.

“Yeah, I know…” Her words trailed off, as she seemed to organize a thousand thoughts inside her head. “You think he made a dumb decision?”

Gabriel kept looking at her, slightly surprised at her question. Even though she did not look at him, he could see the sadness all around her.

“Sugar, any decision that involves being away from you it’s the dumbest anyone can ever make.”

Y/N scoffed but she didn’t say anything so Gabriel let it drop.  He was too close to showing his hand, anyway.  Y/N was a hunter, and a great one at that; the last thing she needed to worry about was his dumb feelings.  Besides, hunters and angels weren’t exactly a match made in heaven as the angel blade in her weapons bag reminded him regularly.  Gabriel loved the friendship he had built with Y/N despite that and he wasn’t going to let something as ridiculously human as emotions get in the way of that.  

They drove in companionable silence for the rest of the trip, Gabriel occasionally humming along to the songs that played on the radio.  He noticed that Y/N always smiled a little when he did that so he did it more and more often as they got closer to her cousin's wedding and to Max.  

The pair arrived at the church and Y/N parked, turning off the car.  She reached out and grabbed Gabriel’s wrist as he moved to open his door, causing him to pause.  “Did you mean what you said back there?”

Gabriel didn’t have to ask to know what she was referring to.  He had hoped that she’d dismissed his last comment, maybe even chalked it up as one of his weird, flirty jokes, but, apparently, she had spent the rest of their drive turning it over in her mind and examining it.  “Every word,” he admitted.  They both sat in the car, Y/N’s hand still attached to his wrist and Gabriel thanked the gods that he didn’t have a pulse because he was sure she’d feel it growing quicker as they stared at one another and the air in the car seemed to grow thick with… something.

Gabriel finally brushed it off and climbed out of the car, walking around to meet Y/N at her door.  He offered her his arm with an exaggerated motion, which she gladly took as she giggled at his antics.  “Let’s get this show on the road,” he exclaimed, doing his best to dissipate the tension that had risen in the car.

They made their way into the church and took seats about half way back.  Gabriel continued to make Y/N laugh as they waited for the ceremony to begin by telling her exactly what everyone in the room thought about the upcoming nuptials.  “Ooooh, Great Aunt Janet has the hots for the groom,” he whispered, “she was only 62 when he was born…”

“Like we can talk,” Y/N quipped back.

Gabriel stiffened a little but before he could respond, the ceremony was starting.  The next thing he knew, he and Y/N were back in the car and on their way to the reception.

He wondered if there was something about being confined in a small place with her that made him feel... uneasy. Sure, she was in a better mood than before they arrived to the wedding, and they weren’t talking about her ex anymore. But he found himself fidgeting with his hands more than usual, squirming in his seat as they approached the party.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, almost making him jump out of his skin.

He tilted his head side to side, debating on whether to say something or not. “Nothing you just, got me thinking.”

She raised her brows and turned towards him with a slightly concerned look on her features, “I’m sorry, does your brain hurt?” She teased, repressing a smirk as her words slowly clicked inside his mind.

“Real funny, sweet cheeks,” Gabriel said flatly, also failing to repress his own smile.

“So, what did I get you to think about, if I can ask?” She said shyly, he smiled at her attempt to seem casual, when it was evident she was more than curious.

“How freakin’ old I am.” He expected her to laugh, make a joke and dissipate that strange mood in the car, like she always did. Instead, she took a sharp breath in, clearly taken aback by the reply. “What?” Gabriel asked, growing anxious at her lack of words.

“I don’t know, I figured you thought about it all the time. Everytime I look at you I think about it,” she admitted.

He grimaced, wondering if that affected her in more ways than one. Not that it mattered, they were friends, age gaps in friends don’t matter. “Don’t fancy dating an old man?” He tried to joke.

Everything suddenly felt better when she smiled and seemed to relax, causing the imaginary pressure on his chest to fade away. “Nah, it’s only fake dating, anyways.”

Her words rubbed him off in the worst of ways, making him clench his jaw and purse his lips. It annoyed him to have her recall every five seconds that the whole thing was fake. How was he supposed to act like the perfect boyfriend if she kept saying it was fake?

“Don’t get like that, you know I don’t care how old you are,” she said, thinking that the face he made was about his age.  “It’s just… you’re a freaking archangel, Gabriel.  You’ve literally been around since the beginning.  You’ve seen it all, done it all, and you’ve got practically unimaginable power.  It’s hard not to think about.  It’s hard not to wonder how I got so lucky, considering there are so many more interesting people - not to mention gods and goddesses - out there that you could spend your time with.”

He chose not to say another word, deciding it was better no to mess things up further. The reception venue wasn’t too far from the church and the pair arrived quickly.  Y/N got out of the car first this time and met Gabriel at the front of the car.  “Are we ok?  I’m really gonna need my best friend in there,” she told him, nodding in the direction of the banquet hall.  

Gabriel grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.  “We’re always ok.”

As soon as they walked into the reception, Y/N tensed.  A man was watching them, his eyes dropping from her face to where her hand was joined with Gabriel’s.  He marched over towards them with his jaw set.  “Who the hell is this?”

“Please just leave, Max” Y/N pled, her voice soft and small.

So this was the ex, Gabriel realized.  He had never met Max before but he had hated him from the first time Y/N had mentioned his name.  He dropped Y/N’s hand and slid his arm around her waist, pulling her in closer to his body but never taking his eyes off of the man.

“I told you on the phone that I was coming with someone.”  

Instead of listening, Max grabbed one of Y/N’s hands and pulled her away from Gabriel.  He leaned in close, clearly trying to keep him from hearing his words.  “And I told you on the phone that I miss you.”

“Max, please. Don’t do this, you broke up with me,” Y/N reasoned, looking down between them, unable to look at the one that had broke her heart.

“I know, and I’m sorry. I regretted it the moment I sent you that text.”

Despite her ex’s attempt to keep their conversation private, Gabriel could hear every single thing Max said, and even the ones he didn’t. He felt his grace boiling when he hear her pulse spiking up and Max thinking about taking her away and ripping her dress off.

Unable to hold himself back, but discrete enough not to cause a scene, the archangel took three long steps towards them, a serious look on his face. “Excuse me, buddy. That’s my girlfriend you took away from me.” His voice was low but deep, menacing like a predator cornering its prey.

With one swift motion, he released her from Max’s grip, and twirled her back into his arms, where he felt she belonged. “If you’ll excuse us, there’s a reception where I have to show off my girlfriend.”

He walked her away from him, jaw tight and eyes focused straight ahead. Gabriel was furious, and completely ignoring her calling his name, until she gave him a couple of soft pats on his chest.

“Gabriel, stop.” She demanded, successfully making him pause on their way to the table. “What’s your deal, why are you acting like this?” She questioned in a harsh whisper, pulling him by the arm to a corner away from the guests. “Max wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

His eyes almost rolled to the back of his head, his mouth falling open as he tried his best not to raise his voice. “He what? Are you being serious right now?” He couldn’t help the way his tone was switching octaves, he was getting more upset than ever. “He took you away from me, broke up with you, via text, and then-”

She placed a hand in front of his face, interrupting his whiny rant. Her eyes were open wide, and her mouth pulled downwards. “However he broke up with me is none of your business,” Y/N snapped, tears welling in her eyes. “And what the fuck do you mean by ‘taking me away’, he didn’t take me away from anyone.”

“Yes, he did. You’re my…. Girlfriend.”

Y/N stared into his face defiantly.  “Your fa…”

Gabriel put his hand over her mouth.  “Please, don’t say that again.”

There was a heat in his eyes that she had never noticed before and Y/N nodded.  

Gabriel removed his hand and, instead, grabbed her wrist, pulling her away from the party and into the bathroom.  He snapped his fingers, locking the door, and then his mouth descended onto hers.  Gabriel poured everything he had into the kiss, one of his hands cradling her cheek while the other tangled in her hair.

After she got over her initial shock, Y/N returned the kiss.  She opened her mouth, letting him in when Gabriel’s tongue requested access.  One of her arms wrapped around him and her nails dug into the flesh of his neck, pulling him impossible closer to her.  Her other arm made its way under his suit jacket, pushing the fabric away from his body in an attempt to remove it.  

Gabriel pulled back from the kiss, still holding her face and their eyes locked.  Their lips were swollen and Y/N was out of breath as they stared at each other.  Y/N’s eyes flitted down to Gabriel’s mouth as her tongue shot out and wet her own lips.  She took a step back from him and Gabriel followed.  They continued this dance of creating and then closing the distance between them until Y/N’s back was against the wall.  

One of his thumbs brushed over her lower lip, while his other hand slithered from the back of her neck down to her spine, causing her to shiver along the way. He gripped the fabric of her dress, unable to stop staring into her eyes, pupils blown with desire.

“Even if this whole thing is supposed to be fake, you’re mine,” he muttered, breathing heavily.

“What’s… happening?” She asked in a breathless whisper, the crimson blush on her cheeks making her glow, in his eyes.  

Her beauty and shyness made him speechless, there was nothing more ethereal in this world than looking at her in that moment. “I don’t know,” Gabriel replied sincerely, pressing his body against hers, aching to feel her skin against his. “Do you want me to stop?” The question made his voice crack ever so slightly, making him realize he was afraid he’d fucked things up by letting himself get carried away.

She closed the little distance left between them, kissing him with a neediness he’d never seen in her. It was his turn to feel shocked at her actions, but he quickly gave in.

The hand gripping her dress relaxed and traveled down her buttocks, where he grabbed her leg and lifted it up. Y/N’s dress slid up, and Gabriel wasted no time in re-placing his hand to feel the soft skin of her thighs. He couldn’t help grinding on her, causing her to gasp when she felt his erection against her underwear.

Y/N jumped up, wrapping her second leg around Gabriel’s waist, too, as her dress rode up even further.  “Gabriel, please,” she whispered.  

With a thought, her underwear and his pants were both gone, his hard cock pressing into her warm flesh.  Gabriel caught Y/N’s eye, her pupils blown wide.  “Tell me you want this as much as I do,” he begged.  He could see it written all across her face but he needed to hear her say it.  

“Yes,” she practically whined as she bucked her hips with what little leverage she had in her position.  

It was the magic word and Gabriel lined himself up, using a little bit of grace to ease his entrance as he pushed forward, filling her in one long thrust.  He groaned into Y/N’s neck once he was fully seated inside of her, the heat of her sex almost too much to handle.  

One of Y/N’s hands tugged at his hair and something inside of Gabriel snapped.  He pulled out of her and then pistoned his hips forward, filling her again quickly and roughly.  At the same time, his lips attached themselves to her neck and he sucked hard as he fucked her.  

“I’m gonna mark you up, Sugar.  Inside and outside.  Make sure everyone knows that you are mine.”  He punctuated each sentence with a rough thrust of his hips, loving the sounds that he was drawing from Y/N’s mouth.

She was a mewling mess under his hands, and he loved it. Her mouth hung open and she gasped every time he thrusted into her.

“Do it,” she pleaded, Gabriel sucking her pulse hard enough to finally leave a mark in the crook of her neck.

Her eyes began to flutter shut, and it was getting harder for her to keep her moans low. She was close and Gabriel could tell, which made him smile to himself.

One of his hands moved between them, and he wasted no time rubbing her clit with the tip of his thumb. “Oh, fuck,” she whispered, letting her hands fall down to his ass and digging her fingernails in his skin.

“If you damage it, you buy it.” Gabriel warned, hissing at the mixture of pain and pleasure.

“I thought I already had, boyfriend,” she quipped back.

He growled at her words, and thrusted even harder into her, pulling his hips back until he was almost out of her, and then snapping back in as hard as he could.

The smugness that was in her face disappeared, leaving her struggling to keep her voice down. “That’s right, honey bun. Let go,” he whispered in her ear, feeling her tremble and clench around him.

“Kiss me,” Y/N managed to say.

Gabriel placed a quick peck on her lips, causing her to stare at him slightly confused. “I want to see your face when you cum.” He smiled, pressing his forehead against hers.

She smiled back and slowly let herself go, closing her eyes as she did so. “Look at me,” he begged.

Y/N opened her eyes, unable to focus on anything for a few seconds until she met the molten gold of Gabriel’s.  She was taken aback by what she saw there, the pure emotion and need that was written across his face.  “Gabriel,” she panted, “I… I…”

She never finished her thought, as Gabriel’s cock hit her g-spot just as his thumb grazed over her clit in a way that only she had been able to do for herself, before.  His other hand covered her mouth as she screamed her release, her muscles clamping down on his cock and pushing Gabriel over the edge with her.  He buried his head in her neck as he groaned, letting his grace hold them both upright.  

Gabriel took a minute to come back to himself and then lowered Y/N to the ground.  “That was…” he started but wasn’t sure how to finish his thought.

“Yeah,” Y/N agreed, not having the words either.  She straightened her dress before she burst out laughing.  

Gabriel looked at her concerned for a moment.  “Y/N,” he prodded, “what’s so funny?”

She looked down at her rumpled dress as one hand went to her mussed hair.  “We are about to spend an evening with my extended family and I look thoroughly fucked.”  She burst into giggles again as she caught a glimpse of her ruined makeup in the mirror.

Gabriel looked down at himself, as well, noticing a couple of missing buttons on his shirt.  He chuckled as he snapped his fingers, putting everything back into place just as it was before they had entered the bathroom.  

Y/N looked at him and smiled.  “Thank you, Gabe.”  Her voice was warm and the archangel just wanted to wrap himself in it.

“What can I say, sugar,” Gabriel replied, “I make a great fake boyfriend.”

Y/N blushed.  “I think you’d make a pretty great real boyfriend, too.”  She bit her lip.  “You know, if you wanted to.”

Gabriel grabbed her hand and the two of them walked across the bathroom and back towards the reception.  “There’s nothing I’d like more.”

Impalasutra Tags:

All: @hexparker @atc74 @thewhiterabbit42 @mrswhozeewhatsis

Also: @idabbleincrazy

[littlewalken]

Spider-Man x Deadpool story starter

I start it, you finish it

Contains a hint of lemon

Spider-Man + Deadpool

“PNDB”

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Deadpool had to be smiling underneath his mask. He stood at the podium twiddling his thumbs, waiting. Peter Parker lifted his camera to his face and took a picture. There was still a good couple of minutes to stop this.

Being “the local leader” J3 Communications had been steadily building its footing with it’s independent television empire, and part of that included a local UHF channel which allowed anyone their fifteen minutes of public discourse-as long as it didn’t incite hatred, violence, or break any other FCC laws. 

So today it was the turn of the masked vigilante Deadpool to make his choice of chairs, tables, podiums, and fake plants and take to live air with a 90 delay. He had even left his weapons at security to show how serious he was about things. And he had to be serious because he hadn’t cracked a single joke. Well, he had, but they weren’t the zingers he was known for.

Even if Peter wasn’t the staff photographer required to get a few shots of everyone who appeared he would have been there n one form or another. Spider-Man’s presence might have set Deadpool off. At least he didn’t know who it was under the mask.

When it was time Deadpool took a deep a deep breath, “Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between and not. Fifteen years ago, last Valentine’s Day, that night exactly, I took your mother to pound town. Being the stupid idiots we were, we placed you for adoption in what was hopefully a loving family and not a Dickensian orphanage.

“Every Father’s Day that goes by, every Christmas, every one of your birthdays, I think about you,” Deadpool wiped a tear from his mask. “I think about all the things I’ve missed out on, teaching you to ride a bicycle, teaching you how to lob grenades, and all that macaroni art!

“So, if you’re the fruit of my loins please come to meet me this Saturday at noon on Fog Hill. And remember to spay and neuter your pets and strange relatives!” 

With that Deadpool left the podium. The control room would repeat his message two more times and pad the rest of the time with PSAs. 

“Hey! Shutterbug! I’m ready for my close-up!”

Peter knew better than to look through the view finder as sure enough, Deadpool had bent over and was mooning the camera with his bare ass. 

“Think I should have invited mom to come along too?” Deadpool wondered aloud. “Naw, she’ll probably hear about this any way.”

“Are you really looking for a child you gave up for adoption?” Asked an intern who was still fresh to the world.

“Nope, sorry, too old,” Deadpool dismissed them. 

“That’s front page…” 

“Nope nope nope,” Deadpool teased. “I doubt Babypool would read it anyway. I can see them now, one of those sword carrying Fedora tipping pony pokers, pajama wearing cat hoarding, do you think they’re in a relationship with a waifu pillow or a cardboard cut out? What if they’re normal? OMFG my child could be an accountant!”

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Peter Parker found his mind sent back in time, back to the April Fool’s Day after the Valentine’s Day Deadpool had spoken of. The day he had to make many adult decisions as the result of an adult choice he had made about six weeks previously. He would have to tell other people. 

Ned Leeds approached with a triumphant grin on his face as he held up his prize-a bag from a high priced jewelry store, even though it only had one handle and a mysterious stain. 

“Thanks, buddy,” Peter said as he took the bag and put it in his backpack.

“What do you need it for?” Ned asked in anticipation of being part of a great practical joke.

“Something… Something that I don’t think is that funny any more.” 

Ned could sense something wasn’t right with Peter. “Okay, but if it gets funny again please let me know. Or video it, okay?”

“You’ll know, everyone will know,” Peter said quietly. He could get one at the nurse’s office, she’d give him a pass for gym too. I’ll have to tell Mr Stark I can’t web sling for awhile. I’ll have to tell him. I’ll have to tell Aunt May.

Not wanting to tip anyone off Peter did his best to look green as he headed for the nurse’s office. The kid coming out made a comment asking if Peter had eaten a certain something at lunch too and he nodded. There were a few other queasy looking kids there. 

He had to write his request to the nurse on a note because he couldn’t dare say it aloud. Not that he didn’t already know. He just wanted a second opinion to know the first one was wrong.

It wasn’t wrong. 

And so, only a few months into being 18 and an adult, he had to figure out how to make it right. 

***

There was some stupid musical that had a song about taking away all the trappings of a magical evening and seeing things for what they really were in the daylight, and he was quite sure Joey McIntyre was involved with it. 

Deadpool had positioned himself on the roof of the park bathrooms in what he was sure was a sensual pose. After all the last time he and Spider-Man had been here things had gotten rather passionate. The poor kid had blubbered about his horrible Valentine’s Day, no tuxes left to rent in his size, melted chocolates, abandoned by his date, not wanting to intrude on friends who had gone off with theirs. 

It had taken longer to get through all the discouragement and consent then it took for the somewhat awkward masked sex. Please tell me there was at least one back of the car my parents are out for the evening something before this. 

“Couldn’t stay away, huh?” Deadpool asked when he thought he saw something moving on the roof. He’d already told two raccoons and what he hoped was a pigeon. 

This time it was a person dressed in a Spider-Man costume and holding a gift bag. 

“I got you something.”

“A present! For me!” Deadpool squealed as he hopped to his feet. “Oh, you shouldn’t have! What on earth could it be?”

Spider-Man held out the bag but he didn’t budge. Something was wrong.

“Is it a bomb, please tell me one of my arc enemies has forced you in to delivering a bomb to me or they’ll kill your parents!” 

Even that failed to get a reaction from Spider-Man. 

“Thank you,” Deadpool said as he took the bag. He looked inside, took out the object, turned it a bit to catch the yellow security light. “You Bedazzled it and everything.”

“I thought you’d find that funny,” Spider-Man said quietly.

“I love it,” Deadpool said in a soft tone. 

There was a silence waiting for the other to laugh and break the tension. 

“Do you think unplanned parenthood is still open?” Deadpool finally asked.

“It’s called Planned Parenthood,” Spider-Man said.

“I don’t think so, we definitely didn’t plan this. 

***

“Is it Ned?”

“It’s not Ned.”

“Is it Flash Thompson?”

“It’s no one from school.”

“Is it Tony Stark?”

“No.”

“Is it Dr Banner.”

“It isn’t an Avenger.”

“So it was someone worth laying down with but not worth bringing home and introducing to me.” Aunt May returned to her larb. Of course she’d find the box to the home pregnancy test Peter had taken. He should have thrown it out at school but the positive result had shocked the sense out of him. 

“We kept our masks on,” Peter admitted. “He’s never asked who I am.”

Clunk, May’s fork hit the floor. The waiter brought her a new one. 

“I was going to take a gap year any way,” Peter said, the waiter still being close enough to possibly hear. 

“Are you going to keep it?”

“I don’t know.”

***

Tony Stark was taking the news harder than Aunt May did. He got up from behind his desk and marched to be face to face with Deadpool.

“Hey hey hey, he told me he was 42!” Deadpool joked. 

“Spider-Man,” Tony heavily emphasized the second word. “Can make his own choices. I just want to make sure that you…”

“Have already told my amazing baby mama that I will support him in what ever choices he makes with our prom night dumpster baby because it’s his body!” Deadpool snapped. 

“Halloween,” Spider-Man said. “That’s about when it’s due.”

“My bad math,” Deadpool said. 

Tony Stark still looked mad. 

***

Peter Parker looked at his phone, he was purposefully ignoring all of Tony Stark’s messages. All these years later, even after arranging the adoption, the subject of the Spider-Pool baby still pissed him off. He looked around at everyone who had gathered at Fog Hill in Central Park like Deadpool had asked and quite a few of them looked way to old. 

It was hard to pay attention to everything in general with the crowd, even Peter’s Spider-sense seemed to be going a bit crazy trying to sort its self out. When Deadpool finally arrived the crowd went wild. He climbed up on a rock and scanned the crowd.

Looking for a better line of sight the spider part of Peter’s brain directed him to a near by jungle gym. A couple of people who had been sitting there had gotten off to get closer to Deadpool but one kid remained. They were wearing a grey hoodie with goat ears and well worn sneakers. 

“Hey,” Peter said.

“Hey,” goat hoodie replied. 

His spider sense had never felt this way before. 

***

“It’s always fun and games until someone loses an eye.”

Spider-Man just shook his head. He had climbed up the sky scraper to think and Deadpool had followed.

“Do you think Tony Stark will tell you who it is?”

Spider-Man shook his head. 

“Because if either of our identities are compromised the bad guys could go after our kid and learn the identity of the other and all hell would break loose?”

Spider-Man nodded.

“Do you think our kid was even there?” Deadpool asked.

“Yes.”

[sweetpeachjones]

YMUB pt. 7

Episode 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 , 6

A/N: Thank you for putting up with me

 For my anon n @pupyluv247 xoxoxo

"Ugh, why is it so damn hot in Oakland?" You lie in your silk sheets tossing and turning desperately trying to find some comfort. It wasn't the temperature that had you going crazy like, your hormones were raging. It has been 3 weeks since you moved out and got your own place. Three weeks since you and Erik spoke. He would call and you ignored his calls you ended up changing your number altogether. He would come by the office and your secretary would block him. If he got belligerent security was called and he would leave but Erik was persistent and it was a matter of time before you had to face him. You decided on taking a cold shower before drifting off to sleep, however, your cell phone was almost begging you to call Erik. He didn't know where you lived and tonight wasn't the time to found out. The glow of the phone irritated you so much that you took the battery out and put it in ur drawer. Only then you were able to get some rest. The next morning after finishing your first appointment, you were waiting for your second when you received a call from the University. "Hello Mrs. Stevens" "Yes" "Oh hello this is Shelia from the Black  Excellence committee and I wanted to inform you that you and your husband are going to be nominated with humanitarian of the year award." "Oh wow well I'm honored." "I'm glad you are you guys have done so much work for our city and beyond it's time you have been recognized. So the ceremony is Aug 11 a month from now and I will email you further details okay." "Okay, thanks so much." "No thank you and have a wonderful day." As soon as you hung up your secretary buzzed in about Erik calling. You told your secretary to say you were in a meeting. As your second appointment walked in. At 5 pm you prepared to leave as you walked out the door you smelled some familiar cologne you knew immediately who it was, you reached into your pocket and grabbed hold of your switchblade just in case. You stalking me now." You said flatly and kept walking. You didn't have to look back to know he was following you. "You can't keep ignoring me Y/N" "Wanna bet, what do you want" "You of course" "Oh thought I was unless to you." You turned as you walked in the parking deck Erik quickly follow seeing you walked to an unfamiliar car.

"What's this?, Where's your car?"

"None of your business but I bought this baby as soon as I moved out. I figured you would have some sort of tracker and found out where I am." You fiddled with the keys as you dropped them in water the other day, it has been malfunctioning since then. You pressed the unlock button only to have the car alarm go off. Frustrated u bang the keys on the roof, Erik silently watched you throw a temper tantrum. He calmly grabbed the keys from you pressed on some buttons, silenced the alarm and unlock your car door. He opened the door for you and waited til u got in. You said nothing as u got in and he slammed the door. You wanted to wipe that stupid smirk off his face as he waited for you to say something. You didn't you just started the car. "Is there something else you need." "Yeah, did u get the call from the school,?" "I did, and?" "Sooo we need to make arrangements to pick up" "No I'll meet you a block from the venue and we will ride up together so no one is suspicious." "Why can't I pick u up" "You seriously need to ask me that question, move out my damn way." You put the car in drive and pulled off unnecessarily hard. He jumped back just in time before you ran over his toes. The night of the ceremony You spent all day with your stylist and glam squad aka your sister and boy cousin and they primped and prepped for tonight evening. You settled on a rose gold evening gown with diamond accessories. Once done you looked like an Aphrodite herself. You had an Uber XL bring you to the designated spot you and Erik agreed upon. Erik was leaning against the car looking up and down the street apprehensively waiting on your vehicle. Once the driver pulled up he open your car door and you stepped out. Erik's jaw dropped as you walked towards him. He was looking extra delicious in his black tux and gold accessories. His gold slugs gleamed at you when his smiled and held out his arms awaited a hug. You hesitated but he wasn't having that as he pulled you in a tight bear hug. You almost melted being in those strong arms and he had the nerve to wear your favorite cologne you bought him. He was making it damn near making possible to have an orgasm off sight and smell alone. His hands were dangerously close to your ass as you pulled away. Any fondling and you would just have to have him. "Erik we have to go" We have time, he said as he leaned in closer to kiss your neck "Uh huh I ain't here for all of that." Girl bring your sexy ass here, grabbing ur waist, we need to get in character. Finally kissing his way on your neck and earlobe. You were minutes from giving in. "Erik", you whispered "Yea baby", he answered as his hands were creeping under ur skirt. If he went any further it would have been game over. "If you don't get your fucking hands from under my skirt, I swear your eyes gonna match your outfit." And with that, you pushed him away. He sucked his teeth, knowing u want it just trying to fight but let you win this round. He Chuckled and said "okay princess off to the ball" holding the car door open. You glared at him for his little smart ass comment as you climb in the vehicle. He still managed to slap your ass HARD. One pulling up to the venue, the site was immaculate, you couldn't wait to get out the car. You almost felt intoxicated breathing the same air as Erik. You needed a drink fast. As you stepped people were calling you to take pics, you felt like a star because this was your nite, well yours and Erik. Y'all pose for several pictures but looking like the happiest couple in the world. If they only knew. Inside were pictures of you two at various points of your humanitarian work. Pictures of y'all with kids from Sudan, Nigeria, South Africa you working alongside women making dinner, pics of Erik building with hospitals and schools with the locals. Relief efforts after earthquakes and flooding both of y'all dirty from hard work but happier as ever. You almost felt nostalgic about how good you felt working and those happy faces of the people you help and the long steamy showers with Erik after a days work. It was too much emotion at once and you couldn't get to the open bar faster. As you made your way to the open bar Erik followed you like a hawk. “What would you like to drink ma'am?” “I'll have a whiskey.” “She will have apple cider” You looked at Erik with a fake smile. “Oh, honey, you are sweet but I got this”, adding venom in your voice. “I'm sure you do buttercup, just pace your self”, also adding base in his voice. The bartender looked confused feeling the conversation was deeper than face value. " I'll have a red wine please" Erik glared at you. "What doctors recommend at least one cup of red wine a day." Someone tapped you on your shoulder and turned to see a group of students that wanted to congratulate you personally. Among the crowd was Davida standing there looking bashful. You saw her and you attitude immediately went sour. Erik look shocked and nervous as he to was surprised she was here. He told her about but didn't think she would show up. You downed your first drink fast. "What the fuck are you doing here?", you whisper angrily. "Look Y/N, I didn't come here to fight or cause drama, I want to make amends with you and whether you like it not we're gonna be family." You stood in silence looking at her like she done lost her damn mind. Erik started to say something but you interrupted him you looked at her stepped closer so she can hear you. "I am not Erik so you can't-fool me. I know that baby is not his and your just looking for a meal ticket, if that's how you eat then fine but I'd be damn you ain't eating off MY plate." And you walked off leaving Erik confused about the conversation and Davida dumbfounded. The ceremony went lovely, you had just the kick in the ass you need to focus on the event and not think boning your sexy yet unfaithful husband. When it was time for you and Erik to accept your awards he spoke first. You kind of zoned out until he mentioned of opening a center for women's empowerment in your name. You were shocked to say the least and was speechless. Everyone clapped and cheered whispering amongst themselves. " Wow, such a beautiful couple. " Oh wish I had a marriage like that" Sadly the only ones who weren't fooled by the hype didn't clapped which was you, Erik, and Davida. You stepped outside to get some fresh air as took a sip of your drink a deep voice stirred you out your thoughts. You look to the sound and almost choked on your drink, It was your old mentor from grad school Ellis Watts. He was 6 years older and you guys had a hot sex fling for while Erik was back home and you were away at school. After all these years he still looked good. “OMG, what are you doing here?” “Well, I was in town and heard you were being honored so here I am.” Y'all embrace for what seemed longer than needed. You realized lots of people was around so you decided to go to this secluded spot in the gazebo in the backyard. "I'm so glad you came to support me, I figured we left things kinda weird." "Well I know you were just homesick and missing your boyfriend. But we did have some great times together., He sighed you it was hard to let you go, I thought about almost every day" "Hmm imagined if I didn't leave, where could we have been." "Are you having some kind of doubts about your marriage, are you happy?" You didn't answer as you tried to fight back tears. You wept silently as Ellis hugged you and let you cry. He rubbed your back to soothe you. You looked up at him as he was at least 5 inches taller than and pecked his lips as a thank you,  the kiss got more intense as your arms moved to around his neck. The kiss ended abruptly when you heard a pounding thud and you open your eyes quick enough to see Ellis on the ground holding his jaw. Confused you see Erik in complete rage. He gave Ellis no time to recover as he pounces on him punching him in the face. Somehow Ellis overturned Erik and both were giving and taking blows. STOP IT, PLEASE STOP ERIK GET OFF HIM! you yelled. Erik stopped and look at you. Leave Erik! I'm not going nowhere until you come with me! You noticed a crowd was drawing and assume the cops were next. Fine just go I'll follow. He quickly left and you pulled some napkins out of your purse. I'm so sorry about that, you said as you cleaned Ellis's lips. That's fine really if I'd have you as my wife I'd be fighting anyone who looks your way. You laughed to yourself and finished cleaning him. Y/N!!!!! you heard Erik yell. "You better go, I'll take it from here." "Okay here's my card call me ok" You left just as quick to catch up with Erik. Both got into the car y'all came in and left. "Driver our house" "You mean your place, I don't live there anymore." "STFU, and why the fuck was you kissing on that nigga?" "You seriously asking me that while your baby mama pregnant AF at our event." "That's beside the point though, no knows the issue with her however you kissing another nigga who ain't your husband's at an event for us!" He had point but fuck him "Fuck u Erik I ain't gotta explain shit!" The rest of the drive was silent. Once the car pulled up, you quickly hopped out and stormed towards the door. Erik was right behind with you with the keys. When he opened the door, you started for the stairs but Erik grabbed your arm and swung you back to him and pinned you to the wall. He was still pissed. "So you fucking that nigga?" "Fuck u, Erik" "I'm not asking you again!" "Unlike the piece of shit, you are I don't have to fuck every dick that walks by." "That's cause you know that my pussy and can't no nigga fuck you like I can. How long as it been a month maybe two I know that pussy is wet AF right now begging to eaten and fuck properly.” You just turned your head cause he was absolutely right. Then he went for the kill sucking on your earlobe as his hands went under your dress. "Just as I thought", he picked you and found a better way to release his emotions. The next morning The sunlight plus the urge to pee woke you up. Erik has arm tightly around your ribcage keeping you snugly against him. You look down and you were completely naked. You subtle movement woke up the sleeping beast behind you "Where you going?" "I have to pee" "Mhmm well come back" He moved his arms like granted access. After you did your thing you looked in the mirror while you washed your hands. You noticed the passion marks and slight bruises over your neck and chest. Last night was everything you needed and more but you couldn't continue this cycle.  You needed to leave. You snuck out the bathroom and went towards the dresser, you quietly got some casual clothes and almost melted how neat your drawers were. You kept your clothes in a certain way while Erik just threw his in the drawer. The fact he took the time to fix it how you like making you all warm and fuzzy inside. But damn that! You gather some more clothes shut the drawer quietly. The sound you heard almost made your heart stopped. “Where you going” “Huh” “I said where are you going, getting out of bed walking towards you.”

You looked like a deer in headlights didn't know your next move. “We're you leaving me?” “I can't stay here Erik” “Who said you can't your my wife this is your house.” He was getting loud almost frightening. He snatched the clothes out of hands and threw them across the room. "Oh you were gonna leave me and go with that nigga wasn't you. After I gave you something special something near and dear you gonna fuck a nigga and leave you got me FUCKED UP" he grabbed a glass vase of flowers and threw them across the room. You watched the water and flowers go everywhere but you couldn't let him intimidate you. "Oh save your bullshit Erik, we both know you bought that center out of guilt. And as much as you have been fucking around you should have no reason to question what I do." You stormed towards the door finding your courage but he blocked the door and got on his knees. He wrapped his arms around your waist. Okay, baby, I'm sorry. You're right, I'm trying to do better, I'd want to make this right. Please stay." His sniffing made your heart broke and you just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle and forget this ever happen. But it did and these are the consequences. "The only reason you want to make this right is that you got her pregnant. Now I looked past the other times but you are making a fool of me. And I can't be here for that now move I need to go." Erik stood up but his demeanor was deadly. "Fine you wanna take your ass to him then go." He reached behind him and locked both doors. "But you gotta find another way to leave other than this front door" "What negro move" Erik's was stiff as a boulder. He instead grabbed your arm and led you towards the balcony. Your first thought was he gonna throw you over so you kicked and screamed making it difficult. He pushed you on the balcony and locked the sliding glass door leaving you out by yourself. Erik, Erik open this damn door! You banged but to no avail, he didn't answer. He climbed back in bed and turned the TV up loud to drown you out. Frustrated you stop knocking and looked for a solution. You looked over and saw the pool, if you jumped you could make it, since you're on the third floor the deep end would have to be your target. But you wasn't much of a swimmer. You had no other option. And hitting the ground wasn't one of them.  You looked behind you and Erik was facing you but looked at tv. You climbed over holding on the balcony as you made your jump. All Erik saw was your red shirt floating past the balcony rails. "I know this bitch didn't!" He ran downstairs as he saw your body enter the water in a weird way. Since you didn't bob back up he knew something was wrong and the blue liquid was starting to turn red. Oh, shit y/n! He yelled once he got to the patio. He dove in and retrieve your unconscious body. He gave you CPR as you weren't responding. "Come on baby breathe dammit" He blew one more time and pumped your chest until you spit up water. He was so happy he cradled your head in his arms and noticed the cut on your forehead. He carried you bridal style in the house as he went and got the first aid kit. You started to protest but he wasn’t having it. He just took care of cleaning you and laid in bed as the painkillers took effect. He didn't want it to happen this way but as far as you and he was concerned his wife was back.

@curls-and-crosses @killmoncoochie @killmongersgurl @pupyluv247 @kreolemami @dumbchick @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wakandan-aesthetic @errin261 @lunaerly @muse-of-mbaku @royallyprincesslilly @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers  @nemesispawn @imgabbyrae @hausofgucci @inxan-ity@wakandalivesforever @killmvnger@whorderofthepheonix @goddessofthejungle @chaneajoyyy  

@imaginewhoever @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @bezzywazhere @wakanda-inspired

[mona-stay]

A real imaginary friend part 3

pairing - Lucifer x reader

warnings- kidnap, torture, evil Michael  

part summary- Michael sends his angel to kidnap reader. will Lucifer give Michael the war he wants or will he lose y/n forever

part one          part two

story-

When Lucifer told you all about Michael’s minions at the store and about how Michael wanted his war had you all on edge. Dean had every possible wording up, Cas was forever looking for traces of his brother’s whereabouts. You couldn’t settle over the next week waiting for Michael’s army to do something. Nothing happened a week went by and there wasn’t a single sign of an angel or any attempt on Lucifer’s life, after he childishly refused to stay in the bunker until Michael was found. Lucifer full of confidence saying Michael had lost his bottle after their sister told him what happened at the store but deep down you knew it wasn’t that easy. Another month went by and everyone started to forget about Michael and move on with life.

You were hunting again, today you had a possible wraith. In an old people’s home in Georgia, an old retired hunter called Dean’s phone looking for help. You headed into the home looking in every mirror hoping for an easy lead. Sam went into the communal room posing as a visitor, while you and dean went to see the manager for jobs.

Yours, a trainee nurse while Dean was posing as a handyman. It took 2 days and you still hadn’t found the monster, yet another body showed up during a night shift making you request nights the next morning. Your first night shift started and you scooped out each staff member finding nothing. Sam and Dean were parked outside neither of them officially allowed in at this time of night. You looked out the window giving them an OK thumbs up signal, letting them know you were safe but still hadn’t found anything.

“miss waters” you heard someone call out your cover name. You smiled at the old woman in the hallway playing the role of your fake job. “what are you doing out of bed at this time of night, Mrs white?” you asked helping her back to her room. Once inside something felt off, the old woman stood up straight raising her arm hitting you in the head. Dazed you get up blinking the stars away pulling out a silver blade. The old woman laughs at you “that’s not going to hurt me stupid girl” she said “well see” you call back slicing her arm.

There was no burning, no screaming expected by a wraith when touched with silver. “what are you?” you asked backing yourself into a corner. “I’m an angel of the lord and my brother Michael wants to meet you,” you said before hitting you again knocking you down. Your head hit a cabinet blood dripped onto the carpet, the angel stood over you smiling as she touched your head knocking you unconscious.

Dean watched the windows, it had been an hour since you’d last looked and he was starting to worry. “she’s a professional she knows how to look after herself and there is only half an hour of her shift left” Sam said trying to reassure both Dean and himself. 40 minutes went by and there still wasn’t any sign of you. Dean got out the car heading to the back of the building, in a rush. Sam followed asking Dean what he planned to do and to think before he acted. Knowing is brother’s shot first policy when someone he cared about was in danger.

Within minutes Dean picked the lock on the back door one he’d used as a service entrance during his fake job. Once inside he and Sam snuck around looking for you. They walked to the window they saw you last not really knowing where to start looking “should we split up?” Sam asked. Before Dean could answer they heard two voices down the hallway getting closer. Dean grabbed Sam dragging him into an open door. happy to find the room dark and empty. Not wanting to be kicked out before finding you.

Sam stood by the door listening out for the people to pass. Dean pulled out his cell and tried calling your phone for the 10th time. A faint buzzing could be heard in the room making both Winchesters look. On the floor was your mobile, a small pool of blood there too. Both boys looked at each other worried, Sam put on the light as Dean noticed a note next to the blood, under the phone. He picked it up feeling sick, he knew this was the reason you were missing and hadn’t checked in. he wondered how long you had been gone for he should have can in soon and maybe he could of saved you. His fingers shook as he opened the folded paper reading the black fancy writing.

Lucifer, you shouldn’t have said no to me! now I have your human! Your Soulmate! I will have my war one way or another! Meet me, fight me and save your girl. Keep me waiting and I’ll make sure she feels my impatience. Michael

Dean handed Sam trying not to be sick, Sam gasped as he read it out loud. “what are we gonna do?” Sam asked. Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, “I don’t know Sammy! We give this note to Lucifer and he will kill us both then start an apocalypse. We don’t and y/n Gets beaten and killed. Trust me those dicks are creative when it comes to pain” dean said knowing they were caught between a rock and a hard place. “well we can’t just stand around here, let’s get back to the car and call Cas maybe he can help or he can tell Lucifer what happened” Sam said looking out the door hoping no-one would see them.

Back at the car dean called for Cas, not like he hadn’t been silently calling him since finding Michael’s note. “Cas get your feathery ass down here right now or so help..” dean yelled being cut off by Cas appearing in the back seat “Dean,” he said looking at the Winchesters “I sense urgency and fear. What going on? Where is y/n” Cas asked? Dean had his head in his hands trying to keep a grip on his emotions. Sam looked at Cas handing him the note “your brother took her” he said. Dean couldn’t handle the silence and started baby not knowing where he was driving too he just needed to be moving.

***

You woke feeling groggy, the light hit your eyes bright making you blink several times. The room around you was in a large and exquisite room, with white and gold walls. It reminded you of the best suit in a 5-star hotel. Your mind goes back to what you’re remembered last, being in the home with an angel posing as a wraith. You go to the door trying to open it, to your misery it was locked. You panic looking around all your weapons had been taken from you. Running your hands in your hair you pull out a clip, smiling to yourself. Bending the clip you place it in the lock, “that’s not going to work but points for trying” you hear someone say, making you jump.

Turning around you see a man in his 20s, he had jet black hair with honey brown eyes. Something about him seems familiar, liked you’d seen him before. He also reminded you a little of dean. “so you’re names y/n! And my brother’s new pet” he said it like he was telling you it more than asking. “yes and I’m guessing your Michael” you answer back keeping your body and voice strong. You watched Michael hold himself like a soldier in the army his legs spread shoulder with apart, his arms behind his back. “I am, the archangel Michael to be precise,” he said a hint pride. “so you’re the big brother, right we’ve met now like you wanted hello not exactly a pleasure. now open the door I wanna go home,” you told him. You may have looked and sounded tough and confident but inside your heart raced and stomach twisted and turned in fear.

Michael took a step forward “well I can see why my brother likes you and it’s not just the grace in you, but I can’t let you go, not yet anyway” his voice is cool and calm making your fear grow. “why can’t I leave? where are we?” you asked first hoping to stall long enough to find a way past Michael. “we’re in what Zachariah calls his green room and to answer your other question. Well, I need you to show my brother he can’t run away from his destiny. I’m sure holding his soul mate hostage will push Lucifer into starting an apocalypse just to find you alone” he smirked. “now I’m not a monster like my brother, while you’re here if you behave you stay here until the war is over then you can go home.” Michael started to say.

“behave. You expect me to just sit back and be a good girl after you kill people to lure me out, kidnap me so you can start a war to destroy the world,” you yell Michael steps closer to you, anger all over his face “who do you think you’re talking to? I am an archangel the firstborn” he started but you didn’t care for his speech or title.

“You’re not the first archangel I’ve met. You can’t scare me I’ve been tricked by the trickster and came out on top and as a child literally danced with the devil. You really think I’m scared of your choir boy angel threats” you shouted back.

You felt a sharp smack to your face, it hurt like hell but the adrenaline running in your veins you didn’t feel it as bad. Michael hit you another two times until you fell to the floor. “you will obey me and you will hold your tongue in matters you don’t understand”  the room around you started to smoke and change. The luxury suit darkened the once golden walls turned into dark gray stone. The tables and artwork had gone, a metal chair was the only item left. The door now steel bars with another room on the other side, Michael transformed the room into a cell, a bed in the corner and a metal chair with chains, another click of his fingers you found yourself chained to the chair. You screamed a mouthful of curses at Michael as he walked out the cell.

***

Cas hadn’t said much on the ride back to their motel. He couldn’t believe Michael would do this, take another angel’s soulmate. One of the few things he did say to the boys, he explained about y/n soul how she’d been made for Lucifer. “This was my father’s plan bringing him to the bunker, so he could meet her again” he also told dean how he’d sensed it the first time he met her, he could feel the grace in her, it was one of the reasons he’d been distant with her. “I’ve never once hated y/n. I just didn’t want to anger Lucifer”

They got to motel all nervous about facing the devil, they decided not to go home just yet. “what if we just don’t tell Lucifer. We can save y/n ourselves” Sam suggests. Dean looks at his brother doubtful “I’d agree with that but how do we even find her. We spend weeks trying to find him the note didn’t even say where Lucifer was meant to go. So I’m guessing he already knows, should we tell him to find out where Michael wants them to meet” Dean argued. “and how many people do you think will die if Lucifer goes after Michael” Sam said back. “so what you suggest leaving y/n with Michael for God knows how long until we find them. You never know what Michael will do to her” dean shouted back. he’d been held by angels before, he knew what Raphael was capable of.

Cas sat on the bed looking at the note, while the brothers argued. Dean turned to him pulling the note out of his hand “your quiet,  what’s your opinion?” he asked. “telling Lucifer is going to end in a lot fighting and bloodshed but Michael shouldn’t harm y/n unless provoked or Lucifer doesn’t answer his message” Cas said looking at Dean, Dean made the point you wouldn’t just sit back you’d fight against Michael to get back to the bunker. Making Cas give a nervous look, “give me an hour before you tell Lucifer. I think I can find somebody to help” Cas added before vanishing.

Not even 15 minutes after Cas left Dean started to get restless. Sam knew, he could see dean fidgeting and pacing around the room. “we can’t just sit here we need to do something” Dean said, “look give Cas a chance and if he’s not back in an hour. Well go the bunker and I’ll tell Lucifer myself” Sam said. “tell me what?” Lucifer’s voice came from the door. His eyes glanced around the room “where is my angel” he asked feeling the nerves coming from them. Sam and Dean looked at each other, Sam sighed knowing there was no way they could hide this from him now. “look don’t get mad, but…” Sam said as he walked next to dean pulling the note out of his hands and handing it to Lucifer, not knowing how to tell the devil y/n had been kidnapped.

Lucifer read the note his eyes going red with each line, the air in the room getting colder with his anger. Sam watches Lucifer’s hand scrunch the paper in his fist before the same hand came up hitting the wall leaving a large hole in its wake. “what the bloody hell happened, how could you let this happen! You were meant to be protecting her, have her back isn’t that what you hunters say” he growled through clenched teeth, trying to keep as calm as he possibly could. His body language was anything but calm, his clenched fists shaking at his side, his shoulders tensed and squared.

The look on his face alone was enough to scare any man. Dean swallowed hard “we’re not 100% sure on the what exactly. We were on the hunt y/n got a fake job inside the home and asked for a night shift. She checked in at 5 am with us letting know she was okay but by ten past 6 she was gone. We went in to find her and we found this note. Cas is going to get help or information on Michael’s whereabouts he said give him an hour” dean said holding his hands up, palms facing Lucifer. Lucifer didn’t answer instead his fist hit the wall again this time close to deans head this time he kept his hand in the wall. Lucifer wasn’t in a waiting mood, not when you were in Micheal’s hands. “I’m getting her back, you can either help me or stay out the way! Try and stop me and I will make sure you feel the full treatment hell has to offer when I kill you both” he said the full promise in his voice. Before Dean had a chance to answer Lucifer clicked his fingers and was gone, leaving Sam looking worried at dean a hunt of I told you so in his eyes.

***

You sat in the cell. Michael made around you. Losing track of time you didn’t know how long you’d been in here for. Well it looks like my brother isn’t responding yet, do you think we should give him some motivation” Raphael said. He was Michael’s second in command and more than happy to do his dirty work. In the time you’d been here Raphael had paid you three visits each ending with you in pain from some chronic illness he magicked up or bloody from his grace as he boiled your blood in your body. Raphael painted a sigils on the wall part of you wondered what it was for. “now let’s see if your screaming draws him in shall we” Raphael said coming at you with an angel blade in his hand.

It had been hours, you had stab wounds everywhere each non-fatal but that didn’t mean you weren’t in unbearable pain. You had lost a lot of blood but Raphael would click his fingers and stop the bleeding before you could die from blood loss, however he left each cut and bruise how it was. You closed your eyes picturing Lucifer in your mind, ‘Lucifer help’ you thought over and over as Raphael ran his blade into hip again making you scream loud. Raphael stopped and smiled at you “was it so hard to call for him, if you’d done that hours ago you wouldn’t be in this state, but because you made me wait and I'm having so much fun let's make sure he gets the full message shall we” your eyes widened at what he said then flicked to the symbol on the wall. When you watched him draw it, you assumed that was how they were going to contact Lucifer. You never believed they would use your prayers to torture their brother. “interesting thought, but no that sigil is so he can’t use your prayer to find you but he can still hear you scream” Raphael said. clicking his fingers, the pain in your chest was unbearable making you believe he was making you have a heart attack, you screamed again this time for Lucifer, Cas, God anyone who could hear you.

***

Lucifer kicked in the door to Crowley’s mansion, demons came running at him only to burst into dust. Lucifer wasn’t in the mood to deal with them, he came to see Crowley and nothing was going to stop or slow him down. If Michael wanted a war he was going to get one, right now Lucifer was working on getting his army. After the first attempted apocalypse when both Michael and Lucifer were locked in the cage, Crowley had found a way to become king. To Lucifer's annoyance a lot of demons followed Crowley, saw him as king and lost faith and respect in their creator. If he wanted a loyal army he needed Crowley.    

Crowley looked at Lucifer “you should have called Lucy, I would have baked a cake” he said sarcastically. “I’m not in the mood for jokes Crowley, I wanna make a deal and if you say no well I’ll kill you right now” Lucifer said, if it were a cartoon he’d have steam coming out of his ears. “well I see someone’s shoved a stick up your ass, what’s this deal you wish to make” Crowley said part of him not wanting to test the devils word. “I will let you keep this whole king of hell thing you have going on. In return, I want an army of no less than 3000 demons. And I want soldiers, not your Wall Street crossroad demons. I need demons to go against Michael and his army” Lucifer said not batting an eyelid.

Crowley thought about it, knowing it was one of the easiest deals he’s ever made. He could lose that amount of demons if it meant keeping hell and his title as king. “3000 is a lot of demons Lucy, but I guess I can work with that, you sure you’re willing to give up hell. A petty fight with your brother just doesn’t seem worth it. What’s really going on?” Crowley fished. Lucifer wasn’t in the mood but knew without Crowley he’d only be able you rally up around 1000 demons for his army and that wouldn’t be enough to go to war with.

With a sigh, he told Crowley about your kidnap. Part of Crowley wanted to help Lucifer, he knew you from his dealings with the Winchesters and enjoyed your company and humour. When he was the resident of the bunker’s dungeon you used to come to sit with him and just talk for while even bringing the demon king a drink of whiskey some nights. if Crowley was honest about his feelings he developed during his time on human blood he would actually call you a friend. “well I must say it’s a shame I quite like the little kitten. Okay, I’ll get you your army, it’s a deal” he finally said.

As Lucifer walked out of the mansion “brother don’t do this, I have a plan let us help you” Cas called out with the Winchesters in tow. “Cassy like I told your human pet, you’re either with me and that’s great, but if your not and try to stop me I will smite you the same way I’m going to smite Michael” Lucifer told his younger sibling. “and what’s your plan open the gates of hell and start an apocalypse there is a better way” Cas argued. Lucifer was about to make Cas vanish when he heard your voice.

your cries for help rang in his ears followed by screaming, he could hear Raphael’s laughter in the background. Another loud blood-curdling scream came. “Lucifer, Cas, Chuck someone please help me” your voice called in his head. Lucifer turned to Cas who looked terrified by the prayer he’d also heard. “if you heard any of that Castiel then you know I have to do this” Lucifer said before walking off. Dean looked at Cas, he still had a look of horror “what’s going on? What’s he talking about Cas?” he asked. cas lowered his head “they are using y/n screams and prayers to torture Lucifer, to make him angry and it’s working. they are torturing her to make Lucifer mad enough to tear the planet apart” cas said trying to think of a way to stop this and save his friend.

part 4

[thelostandforgottenangel]

One Call Away

No matter what she knew she could always count on him to be there, no matter the time of day or what he was doing at that moment if she called he would come to her as fast as he could - even right then in her current situation as her feet pounded down the crowded sidewalk running away from her pursuers she knew he was coming to her aid

He was coming if she could just hold out a little longer

The teenager ran for the open street once more making the men chase her, she had thought by now they would have given up but they seemed to be a little more butt hurt over her taunting them to leave the woman they had grabbed alone laughing at one guy as he hit a light post when she spun around it, she had called for help since they had outnumbered her ten to one and she had tried to wait for him but they had forced her to intervene once the first one made his move.  

She had been coming home from April’s apartment when she had seen some of the purple dragons men grab a woman off the sidewalk so fast she hadn’t had the time to scream for help, the girl had casually jogged across the street putting in a call to the massive turtle who was out riding his motorcycle with Casey only a few blocks away from what he had said last he had checked in on her and hour ago as she had headed out

She had been in the shadows when the leader of the small group had pinned the franticly sobbing woman to the wall unable to just stand there while they were working up to hurting her

She slipped out of the shadows lifting a broken broom handle her fingers brushed over moving until she was close enough taking out the two men right behind him before knocking the man groping the woman away grabbing her arm as she moved towards the front of the alley pushing the older woman behind her protectively yelling for her to run for it once she saw the exit was clear as she held them off

The guys were going to kill her for this but she held her ground until she was sure the lady was long gone before deciding she needed to level the playing field and right now she wasn’t on the winning side, that became no more truer as she caught a bat to her side knocking the wind out of her before getting ganged up on all at once already feeling like she had been hit by a truck fighting for air as she swung her weapon forcing them back before she was gone

Their angry yells followed her as she bolted looking back to see they were ten feet back and gaining turning the next corner the second she got around it for once wishing there were more people out so she could pull a vanishing trick on the men halfway down the next block when a massive human stepped into the center of her way making her skid to a halt seeing Hun and six more men she didn’t wait for them to move upon seeing her looking behind her in a quick glance between the two groups before bolting into the street without thinking

She dodged cars looking to the roofs for her back up not seeing him yet running in front of a car instinctively flipping over the hood as the men stopped to not get hit giving her thirty seconds to get a bit further down the street away from them looking over her shoulder to see them finally hit the sidewalk racing after her again before her eyes caught sight of a familiar black bike speeding past her seeing Casey’s head whip around as he caught sight of the young woman grabbing the radio attached to his chest before she was grabbed from behind thrown into a side alley bouncing off the side of a dumpster

“So the freaks little human girl wanted to play– you seem to like getting into our business a little too much”

The teenager scrambled to her feet spinning around as Hun cornered her holding her ground as he slowly closed the space between them going to grab her making the same first mistake she was starting to notice he never learned from, she shifted her weight round housing him in the side whipping the stick she was still carrying around popping him in the jaw hard enough to make him move back as one of his men grabbed her from behind somehow slipping around them without her ever knowing knocking the air out of her before he reached out grabbing her shirt pulling her away from his man and throwing her into the back wall laughing as she got back to her feet spitting out a stream of blood onto the concrete shaking off her dizziness  realizing she had bit her tongue and lip on the impact

“What are you not going to fight back?”

A sound drew her attention overhead making her glance up before a heavy fist landed a blow to her right cheek sending her stumbling backwards never fully recovering as he hit her three more times but she stayed on her feet swinging the broken handle out hoping he would do as he did and back off to dodge it backing herself closer to the wall as he took another step towards her not to worried about her weapon of opportunity seeming stunned as her smile widened further as a huge shadow passed overhead “I don’t have to fight you lard ass - just waiting until Superman gets here”

He laughed as her back hit the wall looking up at him as his men started towards her “Oh, and why is that princess” he grinned as she shot him a glare pressing further against the wall praying she hadn’t been imagining the dark blob that had just been there out of the corner of her eye “You’re waiting on a fake hero to fly in to save you” he paused in his approach as a large figure landed in front of her in his true superhero pose flaunting a set of sais in both hands as he got to his feet growling in such a threatening way that had the man stopping cold in his tracks

“Last I checked - kid don’t need anyone to save ‘er ass from a bunch of punks like ya” she sighed in relief her body easing as she grinned up at her hero upon hearing Raphael snarling menacingly at the men pushing the small woman behind his cracked shell keeping his body protectively in front of hers “But since ‘m here ya ain’t gonna touch ‘er again” the smaller gang members backed down heading for the street before they came flying back hitting the ground

“Now that was just dumb… you guys should really watch where you’re going I mean running from him, you’re just going to hurt his feelings – he’s a teddy bear if he kills you just means you looked at him funny or you pissed him off – you know what scratch that he ain’t got laid in forever he’s always pissed off” the girl giggled tiredly seeing Raph shaking his head as Casey came out of the shadows into the alley entrance looking a little bruised up nursing a bloodied nose from his little side fight out on the streets while taking care of the other men who had fallen behind in the chase laughing before he saw the small female leaning on the wall “Ay Red – she’s looking a little rough over there”

Raphael didn’t take his eyes off the man growling having just arrived right after he had hit her seeing she was trying to hold him off hating it had taken him so long to get to her

“Ay kid, ya okay?” the massive turtle quickly glanced over his shoulder checked on her keeping the gasping teen behind him as she caught her breath holding her bruised up side before his hand was on her cheek “Sorry it took so long – GPS went down had to find ya the old fashion way”

Her face slowly came up giving him a reassuring smile even though she felt like hell “I am now Superman” he rolled his eyes at her stupid nickname for him unwrapping his wrist wraps before looking her over seeing she was going to have one hell of a shiner and her lip was busted open oozing blood as she smiled at him reopening it again as he handed her the wadded up cloth before his eye were locked on the man who had hurt her hearing her soft laugh “Now you’ve gone a done it… Told you my Superman was coming”

He flew forward a smirk on his lips

The girl didn’t move until the massive human was tied up with the few men that had still been out cold looking up as the turtle in red scooped her up off the ground into his arms poking fun at her while scanning over the injuries to be sure nothing was broken or life threatening before he had nuzzled against her making sure to tell her how good she had done while promising all in the same sentence not to tell the others she had gone solo

Wouldn’t help coming from the one turtle who did it too often in front of her

“Ay Red!” Casey didn’t even have to say anything more; they were gone as the police sirens got closer heading off to a safer location probably wherever he had left his bike before they would head back to the lair together hearing his deep chuckle as she curled up against his chest resting for a bit longer.

They may not have always gotten along and sometimes he might have found her to be annoying when she wanted him to spend time with her – but when it counted and the chips were on the line she knew he would always be just one call away

@devilsnevercry1388 @raphael-the-ninja @saismatters

[semiramis-audron]

Dream life

Sometimes you have a dream that is so vivid and so long that it feels like you lived through a whole part of your life. But when you wake up, it’s gone. You know that you dreamt and that there were important things happening. But you are left with a pale and blurry afterimage, with the unpleasant knowledge that it was there and you have no way of recalling that dream.

"... I hope your flight home wont get delayed as well, honey. I miss you." she huffed through the phone, conjuring a smile on my face. "I really don't think there are thaaat many people trying to smuggle syringes onto planes, usually they're smart enough to hide drugs without things that the metal detector could pick up, right?... " ... and sometimes you have a rich idiot flying first class who didn't think twice about bringing his questionable material in the carry on luggage. "Honey, I know how you don't like it if things don't work out as planned, you don't have to hide it." True, but usually Darleen wasn't as miffed about it as she sounded now. Hopefully that annoying quirk of mine didn't rub off on her. "It's okay, really, I got here a bit late, is all. I'll sleep now, try to ignore the jetlag and in two days I'll be home." First a shower though, the long flight had left the back of my shirt all clammy. I had already gotten rid of it, and was busy getting out of my socks by now. "And then we have a whole month to ourselves. I can't wait!" even the smile in her voice was audible through the headset. Her eyes always sparkled when she smiled, it made me miss her even more. "I promise I wont leave the house again then, or at least not without you, okay?" she laughed a bit dirty and I imagined her shaking her head at me. "You're stupid and silly, husband. I sent you an E-mail with the contacts of the rental service your car is at. Be good and get some rest now, I got a lot of stuff to prepare still for when you come home. Pick something small and black and sexy, you know." "Thanks luv, have a good night." "Love you, lovebug." "Love you too, sunshine..." she hung up and I sighed.

Since a few months she had started helping out with my business trips and it was such a huge help. And made me feel even worse whenever I left her home alone. Not that she'd be bored or locked up, she had plenty of hobbies to occupy herself with, and her own job was quite demanding too. Articles and predictions for the various business magazines, that had saved our stocks a few times already. Taking that econometrics course was the best idea I had in my life... at least the best in my social life... She was pleasantly surprised that I hadn’t tried to flirt with her, so she had started to flirt with me to find out whether I was gay or just shy,  she thought I was cute when she found out it was the later. I was also there to pick up business stuff, not girls, but there was no reason to say no to her, really. I wasn’t going to find a girlfriend on my own any time soon and if she decided I was a good catch, why convince her otherwise? She was smart and also attractive, which according to everyone who saw us together was... less likely than winning the lottery. Which is pretty rude, because there were a lot of both smart and attractive women in my informatics course. Then again, intelligence and humour ARE attractive to me, so I might be blurring the line between physical and mental attractiveness... But Darleen, she knew she was attractive, still chose me, and was so modest. She was the nicest and kindest and most charitable person I ever met. Always offering her help, laughing at my jokes, never pressuring me into anything and just... hanging out at my place or letting me code at hers. And holding my hand at those very exhausting dinner parties and business soirées, drawing attention to herself when she noticed me getting overwhelmed. And the attention was like sunshine and water to the flower of her beauty, she blossomed and I was enjoying my time there much more, watching her being happy. It gave her such a glow. I always felt like I wasn’t good enough for her, she liked the stage light and I preferred working behind the scenes. But she assured me, we were perfect for each other, our somewhat different personalities complimenting each other. Opposites attract and such. It was her who gently nudged me to pose the question when I was worried she’d say no. Our wedding was beautiful, I cried when I saw her. She looked like a goddess in that white and golden dream of a dress. And so far our marriage was perfect, nothing like those clichés you’d expect. We didn’t have kids yet, but we still had a lot of time for that. We both had our jobs and loved each other possibly even more than before. Even worse so, that she took the time to arrange my business trips for me, with her own career booming. She had an impeccable sense of style and luxury, always knew the best places to book, for my somewhat anxious ass.

My toes greatly enjoyed the warmth of the heated bathroom floor in this hotel. Everything was spotless, even between the tiles. The air freshener was a small mister attached to the heating system. Sprinkling salt-water onto a hot stone. It smelled like actual ocean, instead of a chemical perfume breeze. My nose rejoiced... The mood lighting and warmth of the shower made me drowsier than I expected with a local time of 3 pm. I really needed that month off to get my biological clock in order again. Thanks jetlag..  Stumbling out in the most comfy bathrobe, and just sitting down to wait out a dizzy spell, I discovered that the bed was a soft, warm fluffy cloud. I was out like a light...

Naturally I woke up in the middle of the night, firing up the laptop and working for a few hours, until the breakfast buffet was open. Afterwards, since the air was still pleasantly cool before the midday heat, I dropped my laptop in my messenger bag and decided to head for the city. People ignored me, I was just another pasty faced British tourist. I checked out the rental service Darleen had picked out for me. It was easy to find, since they were also the main taxi service in the area, so their advertisement was all over the place. She even had booked a car already, just like I liked it. Nothing pompous or fancy, with a good grip on the streets, and easy for me to feel comfortable in, what with the different side the wheel was on here. I would come back there later to get the car, if I even needed to, the conference centre was only about two hours to walk from the hotel, according to google and the nights here supposedly were pleasant, I could easily walk there and after the expo closed, walk down and marvel at the night sky... For now I seemed just fine without the car, strolling down the boulevard and trying to get some sun on my limey skin and a little souvenir for my lovely darling. I made a point out of never coming home empty handed.

They had beautiful summer dresses in the windows of some shops, also bleached white straw heads with fake hibiscus blossoms on them, but Darleen didn't like it when I brought her clothes home as gifts. She usually didn't like the flowy style I tended to pick. She did like swimsuits and beach wear but again, our styles deviated, so that was not an option either. We should definitely come here for vacation though. She loved trying on different, form fitting outfits for hours. And while I was not a fan of shopping for myself, I sure do loved watching her enjoying herself... Luckily for me she did like to accessorise her dresses with jewellery. So that coral reef- styled golden necklace with a blue topaz in the gold smith' shop window would hopefully be a good gift, especially with the matching earrings they offered me for a top deal. Such tiny and delicate things, weighing almost nothing and yet so valuable. Sometimes it was saddening, that I didn't have the kind of style that went well with accessories and bling... They went into the messenger bag too, and I spent the next hour in a little café with a fruit smoothy in the shade.

The heat was getting to me, but the expo was only a short walk from where I was now, so still enough time to marvel at the local knick knacks before heading into the air conditioned building and checking out the competition and new gadgets on the market. My presentation didn't start until 8 and distracting myself by trying out VR headsets to strap your phone in and the newest augmented reality funsies helped to keep me from worrying too much. Naturally the prestigious plans of many internet and phone providers, especially in the mobile branch were advertised with great effort. The age of faster, better, bigger was definitely what they aimed for, and I was part of it. You spent the first three years of your career building and improving and fine-tuning apps and coding to make electronic transactions and advertising available to the broad public. Comfortable and save with the click of a button, social networking to link thousands of developers and establishing a broad connection for easy micro transactions. And then you spend the next five years trying to code ways to battle the incredible amount of fraudulent transactions, misuse, ad subscription traps and letterbox companies. Collecting and sighting data to weed out problematic third party providers and as soon as you do, they come back under five new names. Like a digital hydra of pop-up ads. It was an exhausting field of work, especially if your company was among the leading three to have created and worked on those issues. Our booth was swarmed, both by competitors, affiliates and of course delegates from companies interested to work with us in the future.

There were set dates I had to be at the booth for important meet and greets and I believe I handled those well, having switched into a more formal business attire and smiling professional, even if my bracelet told me to move from coffee to water because my pulse was through the roof... I managed to get some air in between, take a deep breath and check out the booths of other companies as well. People didn't know my face, they recognised the logo on and the name on my conference ID. I made regular detours to our booth to drop off the various promotional gift and VIP bags. I did love the lanyards and the pens, lanyards were just...  they had a certain fascination to them... I couldn’t explain it. Playing with the closing mechanism was calming... And the pens were very useful since I kept losing mine or breaking off the little clip when fidgetting with it in skype calls... So I could never have enough of those. It seemed wrong to buy them just because I couldn't be bothered to keep proper track of them...

I broke two behind the podium at my presentation, but my voice didn't waver. I had rehearsed it and prepared for deviations and questions that might throw me out of the loop. I knew what I was talking about 100%, that wasn't the problem. But my heart was beating in my throat. This conference room was huge. Almost a theatre. And live streamed online. If I had gotten any tan from my brief stroll outside today, it went unnoticed, my hands were ice cold and my face probable pale as a sheet, but well, I was always pale. When I was done answering questions on the stage and only had the 3 or 4 people come up to me, my legs were a bit wobbly. Soon it would be over. There was the obligatory shaking hands and being offered more business cards, while the rest of the audience flooded out of the hall already. I smiled, I listened, I explained. Took a sip from my waterbottle, contemplated some answers to slow my voice and politely rejected an invitation to a local sushi bar to wind down with some other CEOs. I just wanted to get back to my hotelroom and hear my wife and then drop dead.

Our representatives at the booth didn't mind me hanging around there while I called the rental service to ask if they could send someone to pick me up. My wife had paid the car in advance they told me, they didn't have any limo service available at such a short notice. She had made sure to instruct them that I was to be given this car and none else, and that i preferred to drive it myself. She was right. I usually did not enjoy being chauffeured around like a pompous billionaire. And I saw no sense in driving a sports car, since I wasn't a speed devil. Or a Maybach, since I didn't want the car for attention. Just driving from A to B. A comfy, save car was all I ever wanted. But I was exhausted from socialising and the climate was poison for my cold blooded British sensitivities. Not to mention that my jetlag still told me it was long past my bedtime. I'd be a hazard on the street like this. They refused to send a taxi because Darleen had been quite clear with her instructions and made it sound like she had threatened them with a non-fulfilment lawsuit if I were to be given any other car. Which, frankly I doubted, because I had never seen here in a state that was more than mildly annoyed. But they agreed to send one of their drivers to pick me up with my designated car. Which was all I asked for really. I was warned that I probably needed to wait a bit since he was new in town and didn't know the best routes yet. It gave me time to tie the gift bags together with lanyards and lug them to the parking lot. Where, surprisingly enough, the young man was waiting already.

He greeted me with a smile, when he saw that I was roughly his age. Even told me he had expected some old, wrinkly bald guy, not someone he'd have a beer and a game of Mario Kart with. I felt flattered and relaxed. If there was something that made me more uncomfortable than socialising with people, it was socialising with people who treated me like a raw, golden egg. Businesspeople were chummy sometimes which was okay, if it wasn't too unprofessional. But people whose services I paid for often ended up being weirdly respectful, almost terrified of me. I guess it made sense, there were some higher ups in my contact list with a rather short and moody temper, who had never delivered pizza or worked in customer service themselves. I would be rather save than sorry before escalation a customer as well... My driver was chill though, I gave him fifty bugs in advance to help me load my goodies into the trunk and not tell anyone about me curling up in the backseat in a fetal position to get some sleep on the way to the hotel. He laughed and slapped my shoulder, handed me the emergency blanket from the expired first aid kit (there was a second up to date one too, thankfully) and then turned to a radio station playing smooth tunes to lull me in. He promised to drive slow, so my pretty head wouldn't get bumped by the road too much. That made me feel flattered too, but in a weird way... He was really nice, I made a mental note to leave an awesome review on yelp for their company and maybe find a way to get him some extra credit or hook him up with someone from our resident office, if he wanted to change job. But my body sensed the chance to boot down and I slept like a baby the moment he switched the backseat light off.

I don't know what happened, it was probably a really weird and unconnected dream. Even though I thought I was awake for a moment at least. It was like several things happened at once, and my head just processed them too slow. I thought I was woken by one incredibly loud bang, like a blast - at the same time... pressure on my ears and intense silence but also a high frequency tone whistling unnervingly. My body was pressed deep into the seats, maybe we had bumped into something, but the force felt unreal... especially my upper body, my head, pushed back, I was being smacked right in the face, breaking my nose and jerking my head, like my brain being smashed against the back of my skull---

The dream stopped and I woke up, sorta, my legs were heavy and tired and I couldn't breeze, there was stuff all around me and it was hot everywhere, I choked on air and the smell off iron and burned rubber and then choked on liquid stuff in my throat and nose. I couldn't see, and I couldn't get up. I could move my arms but my legs didn't obey me. I think it was loud around me, but it sounded like someone was covering my ears with their hands. There was biting, cutting wind near my face sucking more heat in my direction from the other side and the urge to move away from there. My eyes were burning and watering too much too see, and I wasn't sure which way was up or down, it seemed to change all the time. I tried to crawl towards the cold. My legs barely helped propping me up, at least I wasn't hurt. The car door was open and I pulled myself closer to it, letting my weight drag me out, hands grasping for hold in the grass beneath, trying to pull my legs out. I felt a jostle and a sudden tug of gravity and then more blows to my side and front and back and my head spin and then the movement stopped but my head still spun and my face was in dusty muddy ground that tasted of iron and then I continued to sleep and the dream stopped...

[acciopjm]

AO3 Fics

Strike ~ read

⁂ ~ really need to read

𝕐𝕆𝕆ℕ𝕄𝕀ℕ

 ⇢ Bon Voyage ~ Yoongi was meant to be taking the trip of a lifetime with his boyfriend. But now he's in Paris, alone and miserable. That is, until he collides - quite literally - with one Park Jimin. ~ 47951

 ⇢ Gangsters Love Better ~ As the leader of a gang Yoongi is busy a lot; killing, stealing and smuggling is a lot of hard work to do after all. But there is still some room for a beloved pet, and who would suit better into this role than Jimin...? A deep whisper, so close to his ear, that Jimin couldn't hear anything else growled into his senses; "I don't need any protection baby-boy." ~ 61032 (22/22) (ft. Jikook, Namjin)

 ⇢ Only breathing ~ As a drug lord, Yoongi knows the rules: -you don't ask questions; -whatever the client wants, you sell it; -you don't do loans; -you don't fall in love with a customer's whore. Yoongi knows the rules. And because he knows them he also knows when he's about to break one. ~ 26461

 ⇢ I'm Glad You're My First (First for Everything) ~ Jimin wasn’t a prude, he just liked saving his firsts for everything for someone special. And, that special someone was Min Yoongi. ~ 12840 

 ⇢ Beauty in all forms ~ When Jimin hit an art block he really didn't expect a grumpy florist to be the answer to his problem. ~ flower shop, tattoo parlor, fluff, smut ~ 4738 

 ⇢ i'm outside the door (invite me in) ~ neighbour au where jimin is adorable and clueless and yoongi is grumpy with a kitten who is in love with jimin ~ neighbour!au ~ 4707 (👥)

 ⇢ Just Checking ~ Jimin and Yoongi just really, really love each other.(aka just yoongi and jimin being domestic and fluffy and cheesy) ~ nursery teacher!jimin, journalist!yoongi, fluff ~ 4933

 ⇢ light me up (i'll keep you warm) ~ He’s already taking a deep breath when he hears someone twisting the doorknob. “Jung Hoseok, I have a bone to pick with you, you absolute asshole,” he starts.It is not Jung Hoseok.Definitely not.Min Yoongi.Jimin coughs awkwardly into his fist. “Hello,” he finishes.(In which Jimin has a crush, yells a lot, and maybe falls into like.) ~ 13154

 ⇢ pretty (odd) ~ in which min yoongi is a librarian and he happens to fall deeply in love with park jimin, the regular who's in love with literature just a little too much. ~ College/University, Librarylibrarian!Yoongi, english major!jimin ~ 11813 (📚)

 ⇢ Under the Mistletoe ~ Thanks to Kim Taehyung and his big mouth, Jimin finds himself snowed in on Christmas for the very first time. The problem is: he’s at a cabin in the middle of nowhere with Min Yoongi.What could possibly go wrong? ~ 12057

 ⇢ I’m Here with You ~ When Jimin kisses Yoongi, he keeps it soft and mellow with pecks that go as soon as they arrive. All he can think about is how much he loves Jimin, and these days, it’s really the only thing on his mind anymore. He’s made a home out of Jimin, and he lives there everyday without ever wanting to leave.Or, Yoongi and Jimin place their forevers in each other with sweet kisses, soft embraces, and whispered promises. ~ 13196 (💚)

 ⇢ Give it to me slow (then wash away) ~ Jimin has worked in the Blood Brothel for a long time, he's had his fair share of clients, knows how to do his job and what to expect from his customers. That's why it is to him a shock when he gets a boner from being bitten by one of their new clients, Yoongi. ~ vampire au ~ 33331 (💉)

 ⇢ Boyfriend Tag ~ “Normally I post dance routines and the occasional tag or challenge video and I know I haven’t posted in a while so I am here to make it up to you all. Yoongi lost a bet sooooo we are here with the highly requested, boyfriend tag!!” Jimin yelled making Yoongi wince and lean away from him. “Are you ready?” Jimin asked bringing his attention to Yoongi. “You better not get a thing wrong,” He warned pointing a finger at Yoongi. ~ 51598 (15/15) (💚) ⁂

 ⇢ Cotton Candy  ~ "He could get used to sitting next to Yoongi like this. To have him around. To have the band around. To smile and feel happy. To see Yoongi sitting in front of an instrument and having him play just for him.'If this was my happy ending,' Jimin thinks, resisting the urge to lean his head on Yoongi's shoulder, 'if I wasn't who I am, I'd just let you have me whenever you want. You could have me anytime.'"As spring turns into summer, school band Cotton Candy unexpectedly loses its singer and the members are forced to look for a new vocalist. Six boys find one in the form of the promiscuous pink haired boy Park Jimin who makes a home in their hearts and finally finds a place he belongs. ~ 239518 (25/25)

 ⇢ Craigslist Date ~ Min Yoongi's family are judgmental and unsupportive of his lifestyle and his mother won't stop nagging him about how he's still single. When he finds Park Jimin on Craigslist offering to pose as someone's fake date to mess with their family, Yoongi can't help himself. What starts as a prank on Yoongi's family turns into something more when the two of them quickly develop feelings for each other. Will Yoongi, who doesn't know how to handle feelings, let his chance at love slip away, or will he go after the silver-haired boy and hold onto him forever? ~ 48845 (13/13) (💧)

 ⇢ Weight of Playing with Fire ~ "He's walking this way, grab my ass!""But mine's coming this way too, grab my hand!"Or the one where Yoongi and Jimin fake-date to make their unrequited love(s) jealous. ~ 48862 (35/35) (💧)

⇢ Bite Me, Scratch Me, Lick Me Better ~ Jimin yawns, smiling at the feeling of warm sun against his face. He had a pleasant dream. He thinks. He remembers the feelings it gave him, but can't recall a single thing about it. He sighs, and unconsciously pets the cat on his lap, only to freeze because when he opens his eyes he's not petting a cat-- he's petting Yoongi. ~ 68926 (26/26)

⇢ What's Up, Buttercup ~ Jimin meets Yoongi, the grumpy buttercup fairy, and proceeds to worm his way into his heart. ~ 14305 (4/4)

⇢ Impractical Magic ~ Jimin needs to shadow a real witch for his creative writing assignment. Min Yoongi is just about the worst witch he's ever met. ~ 16801 (3/3)

⇢ The Devil's Mistress ~ Yoongi is Captain of the pirate ship, the Devil's Mistress, and he and his crew are racing against time to find a famous buried treasure, always one step behind and losing it to another rival ship. To gain the upper hand, Yoongi kidnaps a silver-haired beauty who is rumored to be a creature of great power. He isn't expecting to fall in love on the way. ~ 16473

⇢ Paper Chase ~ Jimin thought that joining a fraternity would be all parties and fun. He hadn’t anticipated falling for his cute roommate, Yoongi. ~ 15089 (3/3)

⇢ Sexy Mochi ~ Yoongi’s never really understood why it’s a stereotypical thing for alphas to have some obsession with omega’s necks. He’d always thought that was kind of weird and just some macho ‘make your mate submit by biting their throat’ thing until he’s alone in the kitchen with Park Jimin and his damn shirt falls down his damn shoulder. ~ 8281

⇢ Barbershop Romance ~ Jimin's impromptu visit to a salon called SUGA turns out to be more interesting than he expected. Way more interesting. ~ 13164

⇢ Barbershop Love ~ Jimin has never taken his best friend’s jokes about his alleged praise kink seriously, because that’s all they are and ever will be. Jokes. They’re stupid jokes that Taehyung makes at his expense to see the shy Jimin turn into a blushing, embarrassed mess of stuttering protests and meek curses. They’re only jokes, and they’re so stupid.Or at least Jimin has always thought so, but then his hairdresser boyfriend asks him to pose as a model for his winter collection, and Jimin realises that there might the teeniest, tiniest bit of truth to Taehyung’s persistent teasing. ~ 22153

⇢ Coffee and Honey ~ "-Hyung...- Hoseok sighs -You are as intimidating as a pink marshmallow. -That's the fucking point! -Yoongi literally bangs his head on the table -He IS a pink marshmallow."In which Yoongi has insomnia, cannot for the love of God socialize, and Jimin is the way too cheerful and, oh, so downright gorgeus barista who works in a nocturnal coffe shop. ~ 7290

⇢ 7 Minutes in Heaven ~ “It’s a fusion game. The person who spins the bottle gets to ask the person it landed on truth or dare, and if that person doesn’t want to answer or do the dare then they either take a shot or take off an article of clothing,” Jin says like he’s proud of improvising such a fantastic game. “I’m not playing that,” Yoongi says. “Hyung, don’t be a party pooper, are you scared we’ll learn your secrets?” Hoseok asks and Namjoon ah’s dramatically. Yoongi shakes his head and puts his tongue in his cheek before he smiles at their antics, pushing Namjoon over closer to Jin so that he can sit down. “Please, hyung, it sounds like fun!” Jungkook says. “It’s my birthday.” ~ 8487

⇢ Winter Blues ~ Yoongi is turned into a cat by a sorceress, and novice witch Jimin finds him and takes him home. ~ 14685 (3/3)

⇢ Gotta Be Fate (if We're Under the Covers) ~ Jimin is excited to just sleep for a day and maybe catch up on some tv shows at the hotel.That is, until they get to the new hotel they’re staying at, and he gets handed a room key that’s the same as Yoongi’s. Meaning, he and Yoongi will share a room and worse, he and Yoongi will have to share a bed.“Why do I have to share with Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin complains. He’s managed to avoid it this whole trip which is really in his best interest if he wants to keep his raging heart boner for him hidden. ~ 7895

⇢ Warm Mr. Wolfie ~ Jimin's late aunt left him a cabin last year, and he still hasn't been by so he takes time off to spend the holiday season there. Little does he know he'll meet a wolf on his hike behind the cabin, a wolf that will change form in front of him and claim to be his mate. ~ 7973

⇢ oil, lube, service ~ "Unless you know what a ‘rear oil change’ is? I mean, what the hell are they going to oil, my tires?” Jimin laughs at the ridiculousness. “Oh, I don’t know, but that sounds kind of kinky, 'changing your rear oil.' It sounds like the mechanic is preparing you for buttsex.”“Tae!” Jimin complains.AKA The mechanic AU where Park Jimin thinks Min Yoongi is overcharging him for car maintenance, but he's really not, cue Yoonmin falling in love. ~ 53313 (10/10)

⇢ soundtracks ~ What Yoongi doesn’t say is this: "If only you knew, Park Jimin. Every song I write, and all the words I have to give, will always be yours."(Or, Yoongi is a famous underground rapper from simple beginnings and Jimin is his hip-hop hating, exceedingly rich boyfriend). ~ 38877

⇢ Aeonian ~ In the year 1304 A.D., tensions between the Vampires and the Lycans are at an all time high. Min Yoongi is the Captain of the Death Dealers and the most elite of the Vampires' protectors. Over the long years of his life, Yoongi has grown unemotional and apathetic, no longer interested in feeling emotions. When the human nobles come to visit, Yoongi meets Park Jimin, the youngest son of a baron, and his whole life changes. Suddenly Jimin is the most important thing in his world, and Yoongi will do anything to protect him. ~ 54422 (3/3)

 ⇢ The Songbird and the Sea ~ In a world where dominance of the sea is an endless battle between pirates and mariners, Park Jimin is content living in his little village on a small, uninteresting island by the eastern mainland. He wants nothing to do with the bloodshed of good and evil, the heartless killing of both innocents and condemned, the constant establishment and disruption of order. What he wants is peace, to live his life in the same town he was born in, to spend his days in the beautiful forest, and to use the powers of his Blessed Rune to nurture the home he loves so dearly.But when his island is attacked by pirates, Jimin will have no other choice than to do as they command and leave all thoughts of peace behind in favor of boarding the Agust, a pirate ship captained by the infamous Min Yoongi, Black Fox of the East. ~ pirate!au, slow burn, enemies to lovers!au ~ 255878 (34/34)

 ⇢ Look My Way ~ It all started when Yoongi read his own name and the word 'cute' written in the same sentence on the wall of the boys' bathroom.But he kind of liked the way his name looked in the stranger's handwriting. ~ high school!au, fluff, crack ~ 5362

 ⇢ love is not a coincidence (it's fate) ~ Thirteen years into their friendship, and Yoongi finally realises that he's in love with his best friend. ~ high school!au, fluff ~ 10,694

 ⇢ thrill me, chill me, fulfil me ~ Yoongi is actually doing pretty well, thanks.Or he is until Jimin tosses himself in Jungkook's lap and breathes out toucha-toucha-touch me into the microphone pinned to his shirt front, looking right into the audio booth, and then Yoongi has to swallow and try not to cry out of sheer sexual frustration. Or, Jimin plays the lead in Rocky Horror, and Yoongi suffers. ~ college!au, musical theatre!au ~ 7465

 ⇢ maybe i hate you can be our always ~ When Yoongi thinks about it, really gives it genuine thought, it's possible that Park Jimin isn't the worst person in the world. (Or, Yoongi and Jimin get off on the wrong foot.) ~ enemies to lovers!au, college!au, slow burn ~ 35,919

 ⇢ Lil' Meow Meow ~ Jimin nods his head, biting his lip to prevent the giddy smile from showing on his face. With careful movements, he pockets the paper like a fragile piece of treasure, and he glances up at Yoongi through his eyelashes with a shy smile. “T-thank you, the flowers are really pretty.”Yoongi visibly preens at the compliment, chest puffing out subtly. “Anything for the pretty baby boy.”or: Jimin meets Yoongi, a straightforward and confident alpha cat hybrid, and proceeds to fall in love. ~ hybrid!au, college!au ~ 25,320

 ⇢ Pepsi Cola ~ “OK, fine, I’ll tell you one thing,” Jimin sighed as he shifted on the seat, his shoulder rubbing against the underside of his chin. “We’re going to a place that just opened this weekend, a really fun place.”“Fun place?” Yoongi repeated before making a noise under his breath. “A fun place in Seoul? Is that even real?”“Uhuh, we’re going to that new ‘roller skating rink’ that opened in Gangnam-gu,” the younger man explained, dropping the English words out of nowhere and surprising him. “You heard about it, right?”“‘Rollo…su…ting’?” he said, slurring the English words rather heavily and struggling with the last part of the funny word.“Yoongi, you do know what roller skating is; don’t you?” Jimin asked, his expression showing that he was trying his hardest to not laugh at him. “Surely you know what it is?”A.K.A. that oneshot in which Jimin's kisses taste like Pepsi, Yoongi can't pronounce the word 'disco' and everything is soft™ ~ fluff ~ 26,669 (1)

 ⇢ Queens ~ “Yoongi doesn’t know what bowling is,” Jimin said out of the corner of his mouth, that smirk reappearing on his face again.“Hey, I know what balling is!” Yoongi argued indignantly, turning to give him a faüx glare. When his friend raised his eyebrows, imploring him to explain, he quickly added. “It involves a ball, so, there.”A.K.A. that oneshot in which Jimin has to explain what bowling and pizza is, Yoongi keeps getting gutter balls and everything is still soft™ ~ fluff ~ 33,123 (2)

 ⇢ Hang On, Baby! ~ “OK, first, I need to tell you this. I thought about this date all week long, OK? I mean, all week long and that’s not a joke, Jiminie.”“Hmm, Yoongi,” Jimin said around his slushie straw, his lips lifting up into a smile. “That’s cute.”“Huh?” Yoongi hummed, lifting his eyebrows as he did. But his boyfriend just carried on sipping at his drink, which meant that he should continue explaining. So, he shifted on the wall and tried to think of the right words to say. “Well, you put a lot of thought into the first two dates, so, that meant that I needed to do something special too. But, I ain’t in Gangnam-gu, and it’s hard to find out about all of these new cool places to visit, yeah? And Seodaemun-gu is pretty much dead of an evening, which meant that I really had to think to find the right place. That’s when it hit me.”“What hit you, Yoongi?”“Something special, somewhere special, there’s only one place in this district like that,” he stated, before quickly adding. “The arcade, Jiminie: Electrozone.”A.K.A. that oneshot in which Yoongi is highly competitive whilst playing Galaga, Jimin bets kisses, and everything is soft like always™ ~ fluff ~ 32,333 (3)

 ⇢ So Kiss Me ~ Min Yoongi is stressed out. Park Jimin is stressed out. They're all stressed out.A.K.A. - the College!AU that nobody asked for. ~ college!au ~ 52,246 (1) 

 ⇢ Make A Move (Before I Make A Move) ~ Yoongi thought that taking Jimin down into Gyeonggi-do for spring break was a great idea. Jimin thought talking Yoongi into staying in a love motel for the night was a great idea.A.K.A. - the Road Trip!AU that nobody asked for. ~ college!au, road trip!au ~ 49,372

 ⇢ i'll be a gentleman ('cause i'll be your boyfriend) ~ Yoongi isn’t an easy man to surprise, but kisses out of the blue and sudden boyfriend proposals can do the job. ~ college!au, fake dating!au, fluff, smut ~ 21,020

𝕐𝕆𝕆ℕ𝕂𝕆𝕆𝕂

 ⇢ my youth is yours ~ “What did you say your name was?” says Yoongi, after an eternity of awkward silence.“Jeongguk,” says Jeongguk. “Um. My name is Jeon Jeongguk. I’m a freshman.”“Oh,” says Yoongi. “Fucking hell.”(In which Jeon Jeongguk goes to college, makes some friends, and learns he’s got a lot of growing to do.) ~ 24957

 ⇢ The Art of Lost Stars ~ "You were supposed to come five hours ago."Jungkook sighed, handing Yoongi a couple bills. "I know, time got away from me.""Away from you, my ass. You're lucky I didn't walk out on the kid.""I'm sorry, thank you."Yoongi scoffed, looking through the money. "Your kid is upstairs asleep," he pocketed the money. "She kept asking where he dad was."Jungkook licked his lips, wiping his palms on his pants. He never knew why he got so nervous around Yoongi.Maybe it was the tattoos spread all over his arms, the piercings on his lip and eyebrow, or the fact that Jungkook had the biggest boner in the world. ~ 53557 (24/24)

 ⇢ Cerulean and Malachite ~ Ever since Jungkook could listen, he’d been watching. Watching the streets, the crowds, watching the people pour on and off the trains. Jungkook had watched for the flash of color that was said to indicate the instant when one found their Soulmate. Under normal circumstances, in everyday life, an aura would be invisible to the eye; but when two Soulmates found each other, it was said that they would see the color of each others’ auras. Jungkook spent his entire life with his eyes wide open, searching around him, waiting; watching and waiting. Jungkook became impressively good at observation. ~ soulmate, pianist!yoongi, college au ~ 16144

 ⇢ Sneeze once; I hate you. Sneeze twice; we're doomed ~ Jeon Jeongguk used to imagine himself being brave and confident in front of his soulmate. It wasn't until he realised that his soulmate is a gorgeous (and serious-looking) man dressed in all-black that he started to doubt the whole soulmate thing altogether.-Soulmate AU in which you sneeze at the same time as your soulmate. No exceptions. You have a flu? Your soulmate sneezes it all out with you. Your nose itches? Your soulmate finds out through experience. ~ soulmate au, college au ~ 13528 

 ⇢ Love and Basketball ~ Jungkook and Yoongi are the star players on their high school basketball teams. They also cannot stand each other.What if one night changes that all? ~ basketball!au, high school!au, enemies to lovers!au ~ 44,197 (16/16)

 ⇢ By Your Side ~ Yoongi and Jungkook deal with the hardships of a long distance relationship. ~ basketball!au, college!au, high school!au, angst, long distance!au, fluff (sequel to above) ~ 34,388 (12/12)

 ⇢ take me out (we're going down) ~ There are a lot of things that Jungkook expected from his junior year of college. General stress. Student debt.He did not expect to be hit by a car.It’s going well. ~ fluff, humour, college!au ~ 20,202

 ⇢ these hallowed halls ~ “Bowtruckles,” Yoongi announces with grandeur, “Can suck my dick.”The Hufflepuff table is next to the Slytherins; Hoseok looks over and winks, along with Jimin’s second-year friend (Taesung? Taehyung?) but a group of girls giggle, and one of the Hufflepuff prefects rolls his eyes, piecrust stuck to his chin.“Just because the bowtruckles can suck your dick doesn’t mean they will,” says Gerry. “Bowtruckles have caused me so much emotional damage in the last hour that they should suck my dick just to make up for it.”Or, Yoongi goes to Hogwarts, and meets Jeongguk, and grows up. ~ hogwarts!au, friends to lovers!au, slow burn ~ 70,601

 ⇢ with a bang (stunted plants can bloom) ~ namjoon [1:12] so you met jimin and taes roommate last night yoongi [1:15] …...yeah namjoon [1:15] met him real good yoongi [1:16] oh my god 

or what not to do when you find yourself falling for the guy you almost slept with but then didn’t because he turned out to be your friends’ roommate: a guide by min yoongi ~ college!au, humour, fluff ~ 24,450

 ⇢ hey, i like you a lot (not clickbait) ~ “why does yoongi-hyung hate me,” jungkook mumbles. “we’re still on that?” jimin raises his eyebrows. “he doesn’t hate you. he just doesn’t like being in front of a camera.” (jungkook is the only one yoongi won't film with and it just really bothers jungkook for some reason.) ~ office!au, humour, fluff, friends to lovers ~ 5873

 ⇢ You Stir up a McFlurry in My Heart ~ Jungkook is completely and utterly screwed the moment he develops a crush on the voice behind the McDonald’s Drive Thru speaker. ~ food service!au ~ 7985

 ⇢ 그 손을 내밀어줘, Save Me ~ That’s when Min Yoongi, self-declared ‘simple man’, turned the corner onto his street, mid-yawn, his breath escaping with a small squeak he’d never admit he made, when he collided into another body, and his ‘simple man’ life was thrown into chaos.In which Jungkook is angry, nearly a high school drop out, and alone, and Yoongi is an adult who is struggling, and somehow, they find someone to save them in each other. ~ angst, fluff, slow burn ~ 54,113 (15/15)

 ⇢ The Best of Me, 나 너밖에 없지 ~ Three weeks. It had been three weeks since the performance, two weeks since he and Jungkook had that silly little Romeo and Juliet talk. Silly and dumb, maybe, but the thought still made Yoongi smile, even in his groggy, half-asleep state. Nothing had really changed, per say, nothing except for the kissing. God, the kissing… Jungkook kissed, for all his inexperience, like he was trying to make up for lost time.Jungkook was still a little shit, Yoongi still indulged him. Days were long, nights were longer, and Yoongi loved Jungkook with more ardor than he’d ever thought possible. It was a pity he didn't seem to be what Jungkook needed. ~ fluff, angst, college!au, slow burn (sequel to above) ~ 65,937 (12/12)

 ⇢ The Sound of Winter ~ Yoongi has a lot on his plate, but when his pack discovers a small pup in their territory, he finds that he's about to have a lot more. ~ werewolf!au, angst, slow burn ~ 39,583 (5/5)

 ⇢ I know I'll fall in love with you, baby ~ The soulmate/soulbond au where Yoongi is part of a famous rap duo and Jungkook is his diligent fanboy, they meet at a fansign and things escalate from there (alt. Yoongi didn’t sign up for this) ~ soulmate!au, rapper!yg, fanboy!jk, fluff, angst ~ 31,461 (5/5)

 ⇢ ride out the storm with you ~ babysitting a field operative who probably has the shittiest measure of danger is definitely not a part of yoongi's job description. but that's what he still ends up doing half the time, anyway. ~ secret agent!au, slow burn ~ 26,528

 ⇢ watercolor ~ It’s a man, he realizes, his hair a muted shade of mint, like the pebbles that rest at the bottom of the water fountain outside of Taehyung’s dorm. He’s not the tallest, but people seem to give him space, so he’s easy to observe, despite his black on black outfit, a t-shirt tucked into tight denim. ~ tattoo!au ~ 18,655

𝕋𝔸𝔼𝔾𝕀

 ⇢ lost + found ~ Yoongi adopts a stray puppy that broke into his apartment in the middle of the night. Probably the best/worst decision of his life. ~ 406218 (61/61)

 ⇢ I Write Songs About Your Stupid Anecdotes ~ Taehyung keeps singing Spanish songs while Yoongi is trying to tutor his students. Jimin keeps "forgetting" his keys at Jungkook's apartment. Namjoon won't forgive Seokjin and Hoseok is the glue of all these six idiots.Or the 'listen i know we've been best friends for years but i'm trying to tell you that i'm in love with you so will you fucking stop singing spanish songs' au that no one asked for. ~ 30744 (20/20)

 ⇢ Settle Down and Let Me Know If You'll Stay ~ "I can grant you three, no wait it's four. Four wishes! Just say the word!""What?"Or the one where Taehyung is a genie who found himself in the company of a drunk with a wicked personality and can't help but want to make him happy. ~ 49658 (34/34)

 ⇢ The Nearness of You ~ Taehyung is a black cat hybrid in a magical world that detests his kind. When Yoongi, a student studying the Magical Arts, performs a spell to summon a witch's familiar, he unknowingly grants Taehyung the opportunity for freedom and love he's long been denied. ~ 10107 (2/2)

 ⇢ Will You B Minor? ~ “Hey baby, my brass isn’t the only thing that’s upright.”“Goddamnit, Kim Taehyung.”In which Taehyung is full of useless music-related pickup lines and Yoongi is too confused, too awkward, and too smitten with a certain Saxophonist. (A story with one too many midnight serenades, Americano’s, hungover misunderstandings, exploding washing machines, and that one little snore Yoongi does in his sleep that makes Taehyung want to catapult himself into space for No Apparent Reason.) ~ bffs!taekook, fluff, brass!au ~ 19,364 (2/2)

 ⇢ feelings you provide ~ Feeling a little daring, Taehyung slips the ring on his finger. He’s not expecting it to fit, he knows that part of the victorious appeal of this jewellery is it was designed to fit only Yoongi, but instead it slips over the knuckle of his ring finger like a glove. taehyung borrows one of the SUGA diamond rings when he needs a comfort object ~ canon verse!au ~ 3157

 ⇢ you’re my golden hour ~ Yoongi is taking a photography class because it's a required elective. Kim Taehyung is: 1. the best photographer in the class, and 2. The Most Beautiful Person In The Entire World. ~ college!au ~ 4259

 ⇢ disappearing act done poorly ~ Taehyung goes through a break-up and decides to 'cope' with his feelings by going to the cinema each night to watch the same film; Yoongi is a tired cinema employee but somehow manages to put up with Taehyung. ~ college!au ~ 13,574 (2/2) 

𝕍𝕄𝕀ℕ

 ⇢ At 4 O'clock, I'll Stay ~ “I hate him so much, Yoongi, I'm thinking of saying he has rats in his stupid bar just to get rid of him!" "Well, what did he do?" "He said that I was the best soccer player and shouldn't talk shit about myself!"Or the one where Taehyung goes to Jimin's bar to talk bad about his latest soccer matches and Jimin waters down his drinks by "accident." ~ 35897 (22/22)

 ⇢ summer, winter, spring (i'm falling for you) ~ The school starts to take notice of Jimin.Taehyung has always noticed. ~ friends to lovers!au, high school!au, fluff, slow burn ~ 41,786 (4/4)

 ⇢ it's your heart i wanna live (& sleep) in ~ The first time Jimin sleeps over at Taehyung's, it's an emergency. The other times after? That's a different story. ~ college!au, fluff, crack ~ 22,658 

 ⇢ true love's kiss ~ "Taehyung needs kisses!" Jungkook yells. Everyone in the Great Hall turns to look at them. Taehyung is suddenly glad he's fallen off his chair, because hiding under the table has never been more convenient. "He needs True Love's Kiss to lift his curse! Or he'll turn into a Squib!""Merlin," Taehyung whimpers, clutching Jimin's leg. "Merlin help me." (in which taehyung accidentally drinks a potion that looks like pumpkin juice, loses his magic and finds true love in his bestest best friend.or: in which jimin lifts a curse, falls in love with his bestest best friend and makes some bad, followed by some really good, decisions.) ~ hogwarts!au, friends to lovers!au ~ 19,711 (6/6)

 ⇢ Wanna Hear Your Body Talk ~ “What?” he asks, slowly, giving Taehyung a chance to change his mind about what he’s offering.Taehyung doesn’t take it. He probably doesn’t even notice it, because he’s a do first, think later type of person when it comes to his brilliant stoned ideas and Jimin should know better, should stop him, but… well. He doesn’t dare name it even in his own mind but if Taehyung is proposing what he thinks he is, stopping him is the very last thing Jimin wants.“Let’s make out,” Taehyung says, putting the bowl away, sounding ceremonious and completely, absolutely serious. “Prove me wrong.” (Taehyung doesn't believe making out is better than sex, so Jimin takes it upon himself to convince him) ~ college!au ~ 4826

 ⇢ Common Ground ~ Taehyung is rich, a little bit bratty, a lot a bit spoiled, and failing calculus. Jimin works full time, tutors, and is a straight-A student. There's a rulebook somewhere that states very clearly that people like Jimin should never associate with people like Taehyung. But rules are meant to be broken. And opposites always, always attract. ~ college!au, enemies to lovers!au ~ 44,136 (2/2)

 ⇢ Until my last breath ~ "I see colours everytime you speak"- Jimin said in a small murmur, as he hid his face in the curvature of Taehyung's neck - "The most beautiful colours I've ever seen" - he continued, not wanting to look Taehyung in the eyes. His small, delicate hands traveled along his back, carefully feeling the warm mesh that covered his skin."and when you touch me ... when you touch me, I hear the most beautiful melodies." Jimin brushed his nose into Taehyung's warm skin, causing a heavy shiver to run through his body."And what do those melodies sound like?" "It sounds... it sounds like peace"  (Or Jimin finds himself in a situation he has never expected to be in, with the last person he would ever want to). ~ fluff, angst ~ 78,226 (15/15)

 ⇢ to whom it may concern ~ Taehyung believes in soulmates. He believes in soulmates to the moon and back, with the sort of fervor reserved for children and lunatics.Jimin believes in soulmates. He’s just not sure he wants his. ~ fluff, friends to lovers!au ~ 16,351

 ⇢ stay (until your dream holds mine) ~ "It wasn't love at first sight." ~ hybrid!au ~ 5115

 ⇢ now you're lost (lost in the heat of it all) ~ It’s not that Jimin was scared of dog hybrids. He just really really didn’t like them because how could he? Dog hybrids were gross.Kim Taehyung was tall, slim, had gentle but defined features, the most perfect eyebrows Jimin had ever seen and a playful glint in his eyes. But most importantly - he was a dog hybrid. ~ hybrid!au ~ 14,477

 ⇢ various stages of undress ~ in which taehyung has a crush, jimin takes his clothes off, and yoongi must be persuaded. ~ stripper!au ~ 14,820

𝕁𝕀𝕂𝕆𝕆𝕂

 ⇢ Days Are Numbered So Move On ~ Jimin is a spy. Jungkook is training to be one. Hoseok trains the agents to have agility. Seokjin just wants to be Employee of the Month. Namjoon is the leader nobody asked for. Taehyung loves the kids books. And Yoongi is in the wrong occupation.Or the one where Jimin is stuck training the new spies because of his last mission and Jungkook insists on being a nuisance to Jimin. ~ enemies to lovers ~ 34591 (28/28)

 ⇢ It's Still Beautiful How You See the World ~ "Wait, you promised him that if he graduates from high school, you'd date him?"Or the one where Jungkook confesses to Jimin in middle school. Jimin thinks Jungkook is too young to know what "love" is so he promises to date Jungkook after he graduates from high school and starts college. Now that Jungkook has graduated from high school, Jimin starts to back out of their promise. ~ 45550 (32/32)

 ⇢ I Shouldn't Be In Love With You ~ Star soccer player Jeon Jungkook has not spoken once to math nerd Jimin all year. That wouldn't be so strange if not for the fact they used to be best friends. ~ 10409

 ⇢ Home ~ Taking in what he assumed was a stray hybrid dog, Jungkook takes care of Jimin. The cute hybrid has brightened Jungkook's dreary days and warmed his lonely nights and Jungkook learns that he cares a lot for the elder. And Jimin finds that he cares for the younger just as much.The small apartment doesn't feel as empty anymore, now that Jungkook had Jimin to call his home. ~ 26412 (15/15) 

 ⇢ More Than Your Body ~ Jungkook got an assignment to create a documentary about something he can get involved in and in the beginning, he had no idea what to do. However, when he sees Jimin dance, he knows what he wants.Or in which Jungkook is a film student and may or may not be a little obsessed with the silver-haired man he keeps seeing on his way to university. ~ 48670 (5/5) 

 ⇢ All of you, all of me ~ Jungkook felt secure and protected with Jimin, like he could let himself get loose and open up to him without being judged. ~ 11621

 ⇢ The Jeon Family ~ Jungkook is the heir to Korea's biggest mafia group, and Jimin is an innocent employee that catches his eye. ~ 30499 (3/3)

 ⇢ In the Line of Fire ~ For some reason, Jimin was everyone's favorite target. ~ 1212

 ⇢ doubt thou the stars are fire ~ Jeon Jeongguk's got a Reputation™. Park Jimin learns how to not give a shit about it. ~ 3451

 ⇢ my heart is beating (like a jungle drum) ~ "He thinks you're a bully?" "You? Bullying? You're too anti-social to do that." "I know!" Jungkook bemoans. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Jimin thinks Jungkook is bullying him when all he wanted was to give him a cupcake. To apologise. To see him again because he's cute. OR the one with a lot of misunderstandings ~ 3228 

 ⇢ your body is a place to stay ~ In which Jungkook juggles a five-year-old daughter, Jimin the pretty bookstore employee, and coworkers who like to tease him too much. ~ single dad!au, tattoo parlour!au, cafe!au , fluff ~ 8783

 ⇢ who would have thought i'd get you? ~ in which jimin comes over for dinner, and jungkook and seoyeon try to impress. (follow-up to your body is a place to stay) ~ single dad!au, fluff ~ 2527 (sequel to above)

 ⇢ Blow Me Like Your French Horn ~ In which Jimin undergoes a transformation from Cinnamon Roll to Sinnamon Roll and Jeongguk is a little too competitive, a little too tsundere, and a little bit too moony-eyed for his own good.(A tale of red converses, sandpit wrestling, shitty best friends a little too obsessed with playing Cupid, emotional constipation, existential crises, and that one body roll Jimin does that makes Jeongguk re-evaluate his life)“i see that you adore playing your loud ass trumpet at random moments in the middle of the night, well fyi i happen to be a master at the French horn so fuck u i challenge you to a brass off” AU ~ slow burn, friends to lovers!au, fluff ~ 40,219 (8/8)

 ⇢ expensive lips ~ Jungkook goes to Sephora on a mission to get some lipstick. He leaves completely enamored with an employee named jimin. ~ fluff, smut, strangers to lovers!au ~ 12,385

 ⇢ the eyes are the window to the soul (and to the heart) ~ In which Jungkook’s eye colour changes according to his mood, but when Jimin wants to know what the colour ‘pink’ means, Jungkook hesitates. Jungkook doesn’t want to tell him that his eyes turn pink whenever he’s around Jimin because it means love. ~ college!au, fluff, humour ~ 7789

 ⇢ You Broke My Heart (but I broke it myself) ~ Jimin's fiancé has abandoned him on his wedding day, and Jeon Jungkook, Jimin's first love and worst heartbreak, is back. ~ high school!au, angst ~ 19,660 (3/3)

 ⇢ we're not broken just bent ~ “You’ll die,” Jimin hisses and they’re so close now that his perfect illusion is broken. Jungkook can see his dark circles, can see Jimin’s lips, red and raw from biting. “I did almost die in this house once, five years ago,” he whispers, watching as Jimin clenches his jaw but doesn't look away. “I think I can handle more. I’m bigger and stronger now, see?” Jimin holds his gaze for two seconds before it tracks south to move down Jungkook’s body. ~ hogwarts!au, enemies to lovers!au ~ 16,204

𝕋𝔸𝔼𝕂𝕆𝕆𝕂

 ⇢ Frooty Loopy ~ "We both reached for the last box of Froot Loops and I don't care that we're both adults I will fight you" AUaka: in which Taehyung fights Jungkook to the death for a box of artificially flavored and colored loops. ~ 30939

 ⇢ Hickory ~ Jungkook should be focused on winning, but his mind's stuck on wondering whether or not this Kim Taehyung guy fucks harder than he hits. ~ 48347

 ⇢ maybe we’re all just fools ~ Jeongguk likes to run. He’s never wanted anyone to run with him before. ~ 52675

 ⇢ change my world (you're the sunlight in my universe) ~ Jungkook is an artist who likes drawing on the cafe's freedom wall. Taehyung sees his drawings, and falls in love.Featuring Jimin as the 100% done wingman, Yoongi as the possessive boyfriend, and Seokjin as the sassy mom. ~ cafe!au, college!au, fluff ~ 6757

ℕ𝔸𝕄𝕁𝕀ℕ

 ⇢ a sugar coated pill and a pick me up ~ As Namjoon stood slightly removed from the scene, bemusedly watching the six-year-olds swarm around his cooler (which he had borrowed from his mom), he didn’t even notice that someone had sidled up next to him until he heard the tiny, but undoubtedly exasperated, huff.He followed the sound, turning his head to the right. A guy was standing there, arms crossed, lips pursed. He let out another huff, louder this time, but only slightly.Namjoon refused to acknowledge him. What the fuck was this guy’s deal? Was he really that bitter that his six-year-old just lost a soccer game for six-year-olds?One more huff from the guy.He was beginning to think this guy’s lips were just perpetually pursed and would simply never, ever unpurse themselves, when he, the guy, finally unpursed his lips to speak.“I just think it’s pretty irresponsible to bring Gatorade to a soccer game for first graders,” he said, huffily, “No offense.”(or: namjin are soccer dads who fall in luv) ~ 25023 (2/2)

 ⇢ It's Gonna Get You In Trouble ~ Kim Namjoon knows he's not the most handsome guy out there. It's just guys talking shit about each other, Jin Hyosang is an asshole, and anything that escapes his mouth is complete bullshit. But it's true though. He's awkward, clumsy, and a complete nerd; no one, not even the most desperate person in the world, will notice him.Kim Seokjin is having none of that. ~ high shcool!au, fluff, humour ~ 6107

𝕊𝕆ℙ𝔼

 ⇢ play the game ~ Yoongi and Hoseok get paired together for a class project. ~ smut, enemies to lovers!au, high school!au ~ 5148

 ⇢ Decorate Me Prettily ~ Yoongi blankly stares at his left wrist. Another batch of parallel lines decorating his very pale complexion. Another batch of parallel lines over parallel scars. Another batch of parallel lines revealing how his soulmate is feeling as of the moment.or (soulmate au where whatever written/marks you have in your body your soulmate has it too) ~ soulmate!au, self harm ~ 3259

 ⇢ The Philosophy of Special Relativity ~ Hoseok’s tongue is cold as it licks into Yoongi’s mouth, and his lips are slightly sticky, but Yoongi can’t help the way his tongue automatically brushes over Hoseok’s, the way a low moan claws it’s way up his throat. He can taste the sweet, slightly bitter flavour of chocolate over the muted spices from their dinner, and something else – something distinctly Hoseok that makes Yoongi’s knees feel like Jell-O.Or: Hoseok wants Yoongi to eat ice cream. Yoongi just wants to eat Hoseok. ~ eating disorder, smut ~ 5695

 ⇢ Flames just create us (burns don't heal like before) ~ Yoongi is a wolf and Hoseok is a lamb trying to run away from home.(Or: Hoseok is heir to a multi-billion company and Yoongi is the bartender he falls in love with.) ~ heir!hoseok, bartender!yoongi ~ 22,090

𝕄𝕌𝕃𝕋𝕀ℙ𝕃𝔼 𝕊ℍ𝕀ℙ𝕊

 ⇢ no more parties in seoul ~ tittytae: mail me my death certificate pls 

tittytae: i jus accidentally liked Jungkook’s pic from fifty weeks ago

jimin neutron: YES YES YES

tittytae: I UNLIKED IT

tittytae: did i just make it worse

a chatfic where all of bangtan are in university, live to expose one another, and hoseok is a modern day cupid. ~ texting, fwb!taekook ~ 57,455 (yoonmin, taekook, namjin)