#this starter inspired by me also watching the movie for the first time yesterday

[hadleyberry]

Alright so I'm kind of way late to the party on this one, but I wasn't sure if I needed to know a whole lot about the Pokemon world beforehand first, but... I watched Detective Pikachu for the first time yesterday and oh my gosh it was so cute! It really kind of has me considering getting into the game, but I know nothing about it and also I don't like the whole idea of battling them. Also contemplating checking out the cartoon series. Either way, I wish I could have my own Pokemon now, I'm just not sure what one I would choose. !

[tommysparker]

Good For You

Peter Parker x Reader

A/N: I dunno how I really feel about this one...but there will be a part 2! Inspired by “Good For You” from the musical Dear Evan Hansen, give it a listen and enjoy :)

Warnings: just pure angst, reader is disappointed but not surprised, and also # done

Six times. 

Six times he’s canceled plans last minute. 

And that’s just this month, so far. 

You were happy for him, honestly, you were. But had you known his newfound fame would have cost you hours of waiting, hours of your life that you will never get back, just to end up looking like a fool as you leave the restaurant, you probably would have re-thought some decisions. 

“Hi! This is Peter Parker, leave a--”

You sighed in frustration, tossing your phone and keys on the couch as you kicked off your shoes and shut the door to the apartment. Thankfully, your parents weren’t home so you had time to release some stress and anger. 

Dropping yourself onto the cushions, you grabbed the TV remote and pressed the on-button, hoping some good ol’ fashioned Disney Plus would take your mind off tonight’s events, or lack thereof. However, the television network had other plans. 

Sure enough, there was your boyfriend, dressed head-to-toe in that stupid red and blue spandex costume standing next to the great Tony Stark, who wore a regular suit and that signature smile the public adored. 

Really? He ditched me to hang out with some tech billionaire? Is what you would’ve thought, however, you were used to it at this point. The first few times you felt disappointed, but now all you saw was red. 

You turned off the TV, throwing the remote aside and grabbing your phone, hoping to see at least one message from your once adoring lover, but you were met with an old picture of you and him that you set as your lockscreen. 

With a heavy sigh, you went into your room and decided to catch up on all the homework you’ve been ignoring. What better way to distract yourself than with memorizing calculus formulas? 

The only text you got that night was from your parents telling you they’ll be home late. 

                                                       ---

The next day at school, you completely avoided Peter at all costs. 

Peter was beyond confused. 

He had gotten home late last night after spending hours with Mr. Stark teaching him the new customs of his suit and later going back to the lab to fix some minor bugs. 

When he came into school this morning, he was hoping for the usual bear hug you greet him with when he walked over to your locker. However, by the time he got there you were already gone. Betty, whose locker was right next to yours, said you went to class early to talk to the teacher. 

He shrugged it off, figuring he would catch you in between classes. 

But he never did. 

Every time he tried to talk to you, you would run off or ignore his callings. He thought maybe you were just having an off-day, you’ve been having a lot of those recently. 

By the time lunch came around, he knew something was wrong. 

No matter what mood you were in, you always made sure to sit next to him in the cafeteria, so when you didn’t show up at all, he had a feeling it was more than just an off-day. 

He didn’t see you for the rest of the school day. 

                                                        ---

You were done. Absolutely done. 

You woke up that morning ready to deal with whatever bullshit excuse Peter was gonna throw at you, but as you entered the school something inside you just snapped. 

Maybe it was because one of your friends were talking about the amazing date they had, or maybe it was because you were tired after waiting for Peter to swing by your window and apologize for missing another date then end up passing out on the window sill, but either way, you were done. 

You dodged Peter the whole first half of school, ditching after lunch because you weren’t ‘feeling well’.

The rest of the day you spent curled up on your bed, listening to music that related to whatever emotion you were feeling. 

You glanced over at the clock, seeing school would’ve been out about half an hour ago. Picking up your phone you texted MJ asking if she was down to go out later. You were supposed to be having a movie night with Peter but if he could skip your plans dozens of times, why couldn’t you? 

A ding followed by your phone lighting up took your attention off your laptop. Picking up your phone, you were hoping it was MJ accepting your invitation, and thankfully, the bookworm didn’t fail to please. 

A few hours later, you were almost ready to go out, when a loud knocking sound came from your window. 

Startled, you whipped your head towards the glass, and behind it stood non-other than your boyfriend. 

Did you forget to tell him you canceled? Whoops. 

Rolling your eyes, you opened your window and stepped back so he could come in. You were still upset with him, but that doesn’t mean you were about to make him wait outside when it was near zero degrees. 

“Hey! Sorry I’m late Mr. Stark wanted to test this cool new web settings and we kinda lost track of time but I got your favourite food to make up for it- oh are we going somewhere instead?” Peter tilted his head as he took in your outfit. Normally on movie nights, you’d welcome him wearing a pair of comfy pants and his hoodie. However tonight you were dressed in jeans and a top he hadn’t seen you wear before. When did you go shopping? 

“Yeah-no. It’s just me going, MJ should be on her way right now. Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” you shrugged, walking back to the mirror to finish doing your hair. 

“Wait- what do you mean? What’s going on? It’s movie night...” The vigilante expressed, trying his best to mask the disappointed look his face fell into. 

“Guess I’ll have to make it up to you, right? Just like all the times you’ve made it up to me.” You snapped, sarcasm laced with your words. 

Peter could sense something was wrong, your tone and the look in your eyes being a dead giveaway. “What are you talking about, Y/N?” 

“I dunno Parker, why don’t you tell me. Because I have been stood up too many times this month and honestly, I’m sick and tired of your empty promises,” You huffed, turning around to face him with your arms tightly crossed over your chest. 

The brown-haired boy was baffled. “Look if this is about last week, I told you I’m sorry. You know how much being Spiderman means to me--”

“--More than it means being with me?” 

Peter’s facial expression made it seem like the question slapped him in the face. “What? No! Why would you think that?”

“Um for starters, you’re always ditching me to go play superhero with a billionaire. Every time you tell me you’re gonna make it up to me, you never do! Yesterday’s date was supposed to make up for the one you missed last week, and that one was supposed to make up for the one you missed two weeks prior! I’m seeing a pattern Parker and I don’t like it.” 

For some reason, his ears fell deaf to everything you said except for the mention of his alter-ego. “Playing superhero? Really Y/n? I’m saving lives! I’m making a difference here. I have these powers and if I don’t use them, and bad things happen, that’s on me. You have no idea the kind of responsibility I have. Besides, you should be happy for me! I’m better than I’ve ever been before. Don’t you get that?”

You bit your lip, fighting back tears. “Yeah, I guess you're right. Well...I’m sorry I don’t fit into your responsibilities.” 

“What? No that’s not--”

“I’m not done yet! You got what you always wanted, right? Your dream is now a reality, well good for you, Parker. I’m happy for you, really I am. I just wish you would’ve told me that dream didn’t involve me so I didn’t waste my time loving you,” You spat. 

“Wait, Y/N please--!”

“I mean, are you even sorry?” You cut him off again. “‘Cause you say it all the time but you never act like it. The Peter I knew would’ve put everything aside in order to right a wrong, but you, you just worry about yourself.” Yes, that was a low blow, and far from the truth, but in the heat of the moment you could hardly control the words coming out of your mouth. Months of pent up frustration being released kinda broke the filter. 

Peter looked like a kicked puppy, he tried to say something but you kept ranting. 

“When was the last time you hung out with Ned? Or had a real conversation with May? All of us are hurting, Peter. We’re your friends, your family. And all you do is jump the fence over to “Mr. Stark’s” at the blow of his dog whistle. But, hey, if that makes you happy then fucking good for you. I guess if I can’t give you any fancy tech, o-or ‘understand your responsibility’ then go ahead and cut me loose. No, really, I won’t mind--”

“Stop it! Just stop, please!” He had tears running down his face, similar to your own. He took a shaky breath, wiping away the tears roughly before giving you a heart-broken look. 

You stared back, shoulders shaking and eyes red. You sniffled, pointing a shaky arm to the window. “Get out.” It was quiet, a huge contrast to the previous volume of your voice, but suddenly the energy was drained from your body, mentally and emotionally. 

Peter left without a word or hesitation. 

You walked to the window, swaying slightly as you watched him swing off into the distance. 

So you got what you always wanted, live with the consequences. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Again....not ecstatic about this turned out but hoping part 2 turns out better :/

All: @greenorangevioletgrass @allegra-writes @soraitmnt @worldoftom @farfromparker @angel-spidey @parkerpeter24 @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​ @the-panwitch @rebekkah4766 @hollandsamor @spideygirl2003 @theactualprincessofeverything

Peter Parker: @rubberducky-jrr 

[beanchitecture]

May 1, 2020

Yesterday morning it was pouring rain. It put me to sleep after a deep conversation about love with a friend of mine (which at some point lead to tears and weeping). Yesterday I watched Hot Fuzz and Guardians of the Galaxy (again) and honestly my butt is getting pretty tired of sitting. At the same time, these movies, for whatever spectacular reason, inspired me to draw faces at the same time as watching them. In a way, it’s kind of comforting but frustrating at the same time, something I have felt before when I used to draw with graphite avidly but know I can cope with. I think I’m starting to delve back into the realm of the hand drawing I oh-so missed and, quite frankly, it nice to know that I’m spending my time on something I actually wrote out I would do this summer (regardless of quarantine). Eating at home has been different and... difficult (but this is honestly nothing new)/ My grandmother is doing alright but her hemoglobin count has dropped significantly again, requiring her to take another hospital visit next Tuesday for a blood transfusion. It feels good to be home and to see everyone again, but at the same time there is a sort of distance in terms of overall interaction with my mom and dad. They are both the same as ever, but I believe my mom is doing worse, always tending to my grandmother and making sure her needs are met fully. Unfortunately, she tends to take her frustrations out on her which is not very kind and she can lose her patience a lot quicker than before. I don’t really think I can be of any help in order to alleviate some of her pressure. My brother and I are straight vibing which is great. Today I decided I was going to compile my favourite videos from the last 12 months of my jolly ol’ life and create an overall recap video of it - crappy craft and all - but I don’t really feel ready to do the editing and watch and rewatch things over and over again. That’s one of the reasons I struggle with videomaking - dealing with frames and frames and frames. But maybe with a bit more experience, big or small, I might feel more comfortable with it as time goes on. I also started piecing together a composition for the graphite drawing I want to start first this summer as a side project. So far, it looks alright, although it always feels like something is missing. There is a lot of negative white space left which I think is what I’m going for but... there’s a sort of emptiness to it. I think that that’s gonna be okay, and maybe for starters I should just begin with something shitty to warm me up. It might not be so bad after all. Last but not least, I miss my friends a lot. Talking over Discord has proven to be a social lifesaver during these trying times. However, I fear that I will have become so estranged to face to face interaction that once it reignites I’ll feel a bit alienated... I’m sure I won’t be the only one to go through this feeling. I think that merely thinking about the lack of physical contact I’ve had over the last month and a half only makes matters worse mentally, so it’s probably best to brush those things off and not panic too much now.

It’s 4:04 am now, and my sleep is certainly not found... yet. But I think that’s it for today. I don’t know who will ever read this crappy blog post, but I’m writing it now because, well, it helps.

[7team7]

SasuSaku Month Day 7: One of These Nights

Title: Sasuke and Sakura’s Night Out! // Rating: M (drugs, language) // Summary: Sakura and Sakura don’t get out much, but just one night is enough to make up for a lifetime of staying in. Very much inspired by my love for both the movie booksmart and those memes where it’s like aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you want to just go absolutely fucking feral? Yeah, nerd SasuSaku going feral basically // ao3 link 

A/N: something to make up for yesterday’s angst, this was a ton of fun to write!! Also why do i keep writing things i dont know about?? Idk anything about the good old mary jane or drugs in general lol but just go with it this isn’t really supposed to make sense Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, Booksmart, or anything mentioned in this story. I’m just a wee speck of dust in the universe

----

“One of these nights we should do something actually fun.”

“Since when did watching movies with me stop being fun? Did you want a snack or something? I saw that post you tagged me in this morning, I guess we can build a blanket fort on the trampoline, but you can’t complain about it being cold.”

Sakura sat up from where she was lounging on Sasuke’s bed, staring at the wall. “Now that you mention it, I could go for some boba. Or an edible.”

Sasuke, sitting in his bean bag, stared at Sakura in disbelief, “do you even know what’s in those?”

Sakura straightened up even more and looked down haughtily, “of course I do. Naruto told me a long time ago. And doesn’t a brownie sound so good right now?”

“Sakura, you got drunk off a few sips of your Aunt Tsunade’s rice wine and you’re telling me you want to get high? We’re about to go to college and you want to fry your brain?”  

“We’re about to go to college and we’ve never done anything. Do you know how lame that is?”

Sasuke seemed to contemplate Sakura’s words for a moment before giving her a wolfish grin, sounding every bit the teenage boy he was, “that’s not true. We’ve done stuff. We’ve had sex. Lots of it.”

One of Sasuke’s pillows sailed across the room towards his face, accompanied by a screech, “I knew it, I knew you’d say something dumb! What does it matter when you’re already a stupid boy with no brain. Those ads are totally false, by the way. What’s the harm in trying weed, Sasuke? I wanna try, so you should do it with me.”

Despite being the captain of the speech and debate team, he couldn’t find anything to argue about. He texted Naruto; at least he could trust their “plug” or whatever he’s called by half the school.

Except, they actually couldn’t because he was somehow all out and directed them to Kiba instead.

“Seriously? We’ve known Naruto, like, forever? And he lets us down now? Kiba is smelly and weird. His weed probably...smells like weed.”

Sakura doesn’t let up, “just text Kiba, he’s not that bad. Don’t be lame.”

“What should I even say? Leaf emoji? Side eye emoji? Plug emoji? Is he going to give us a friends and family discount?”

“Sasuke, I know you love using color coordinated spreadsheets to organize your life, but now is not the time. Mention my name. Maybe he’ll give us a hot girl discount.”

“I just sent him ‘weed’ with a question mark. Oh, he already responded. He said come over right now and he’ll ‘give us the hook up.’ Sakura, does that mean he wants us to have a threesome with us?” Sasuke asked with false, exaggerated concern.

That earned Sasuke another pillow thrown at his face (this time it’s his favorite dinosaur plushie) before Sakura gets to her feet and announces with a rather dramatic clenched fist, “get in the car, we’re going to Kiba’s.”

----

“Yooo, Sasuke! Woah! And Sakura? The Kiba Hut is going to have a blessed night if these two legends are here! Come on in guys, we’re having a kickback.”

As Kiba opened the door wider to let them in, a haze of smoke wafted out and the smell hit them like a wall. They had definitely come to the right place.

They saw Kiba’s usual crew, Hinata and Shino, sitting on the couch looking very blissed out already, along with a number of other kids from their school. Sakura checked her phone, isn’t it like 9 pm? Is this late or early for this kind of stuff?

“My guy Naruto told me you’re here for some famous Kiba Hut edibles, and like, welcome to the bake sale, but I’m telling you man, you gotta try the newest from Shino. Shit’s dank, bro.”

The couple turned away from Kiba to look at Shino sitting there with his sunglasses still on despite being indoors. He raised a single hand in greeting, then gestured to a plate of brownies plus something less familiar in front of him. “The new goods or pot?”

Sasuke looked disturbed by the sight and was about to say “neither” before Sakura elbowed him sharply in the side, “we’ll take both!” she cut in with a big smile.

“Adventurous! I fucking love it! Man, you kids are too cute, I’ll give it to you real cheap. You got Venmo?” Kiba pulled his phone out to start the transaction.  

Sakura glanced around, they had never been to Kiba’s house before, so this was a new experience all around. She spotted a bowl of water by the kitchen, “uh, can dogs get high?”

Kiba laughed, “you’re probably wondering where Akamaru is! He’s chillin’ in the backyard. He’s cool with it though, he’s a total bro. He’s got hella treats out there, we’ve got hella treats in here. Equality, you feel?”

“For sure, for sure. I’ll just approve the charge now and we’ll be on our way!”

“Not so fast you two! Here at the Kiba Hut, we support tripping out in a safe environment, so you should take Shino’s new-new here.”

Sasuke and Sakura exchange glances. What did they have to lose?

----

Well, for starters, their grasp on reality.

They sat at Kiba’s kitchen table to take what Shino gave them and saved the edibles for later. And it was like nothing they had ever experienced.

“Sasuke. Your eyes are really red. Like not just the whites but your uh, pupil or whatever is the colored part.”

Sasuke rubbed at his eyes, “no they’re not. I can see them. So I know they’re not red.”

“Uhh, okay? They totally are though. And..did your head get bigger?”

“No but yours did. Ha, if only Ino was here. Hey, forehead. Wait—what the fuck, when did we get so small?”

“Oh my god, you’re so cute. You’re so short, Sasuke, you’re so small!”

*A/N: please imagine them as the SD versions of themselves*

Sakura started scooting forward on her chair. “What do we do now? How do we get down? We’re so small. We can’t stay here. What the fuck is going on? What did they give us?”

“It’s so hot in here. What did Kiba say about getting ready to hot box? What does that mean, like sweaty boxing? Where’s our water?” Sasuke looked up to their glasses of water on the table, which seemed miles away in their shrunken state.

“There’s no way we can reach up there. My head feels too heavy for my body, I’ll fall over if we try to jump.”

“Shit. Shit, okay, take your jacket off, first of all, am I the only one melting? Are the walls melting? Just throw it on the ground and to make a cushion. I’ll throw mine down on top and we can jump down.”

“Are you insane? What if we die?”

Sasuke gave Sakura a judgemental look, “we might as well be, I’m so fucking high! Just jump, I’m sure it won’t be that bad. Plus, I’ll go first and I’ll catch you,” he finished with a wink. He threw his jacket down on the floor with a pointed expression. A burgundy cardigan soon followed. And Sasuke jumped.

A voice sounded from below, “it worked! I made it! Jump now!”

Somehow Sasuke’s now doll proportion arms caught Sakura despite her now huge head. He set her down and started looking for the exit. There was no way they could push the kitchen door open, and he didn’t even want to see Kiba at the moment. It was so hot in the kitchen, he just wanted to get out of there.

“Sasuke! There!” Sakura pointed across the kitchen to the backyard. The doggy door.

“Fucking score! Let’s go.”

He grabbed her hand and they scurried across the tile as fast as their little legs could take them. But they needed to climb up a small threshold to get through the door, and the run combined with the heat of the kitchen had really drained them. They exchanged a look. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Akamaru’s dog bowl was full of water.

“Give me a boost!” Sakura told Sasuke as they faced the metal bowl. The way the metal warped their reflection made her feel even more tripped out, if that was possible. She just needed water now.

Sakura climbed up onto Sasuke’s clasped hands, grabbing onto the edge of the bowl. She held herself up on the edge and dipped her head to take a cool, refreshing drink.

Except her mouth encountered strands of white dog hair floating all around the water. She nearly toppled backwards as she tried to spit it all out, “ew, ew! Disgusting!”

Sasuke lowered her and asked as if it wasn’t already apparent, “so I’m guessing I shouldn’t drink the dog water?” She shook her head, “let’s just go outside.”

They walked to Kiba’s lawn and collapsed. It seemed like the sprinklers had just finished their cycle, so the cool, wet grass was a welcome change from the stuffy kitchen. “Sorry for dragging you here. I didn’t think it would be like this,” Sakura spoke quietly. Sasuke was a bit of a homebody to say the least, so when he didn’t have a good time during their outings, she always felt guilty for pushing him too far for comfort.

But he didn’t care as much as she always thought he did, he just enjoyed spending time with his girlfriend. They would both cherish these memories in the future since they were attending separate colleges. “It wasn’t that bad. Makes for a good story, I guess.”

Except the night wasn’t over, because a deep growl sounded from the shadowy corner of the yard.

Sakura bolted up, “Akamaru?!” before Sasuke dragged her back down, “are you trying to get us eaten? Keep quiet and just run!” Sasuke pointed to the side gate and without another word, they made a break for it. They didn’t bother locking the gate up again, too intent on getting the fuck out of there.

Sasuke took one look at his car and said, “nope. I’m not getting in that thing. We’re still coming down and it’s not safe. What if I get a DUI? What if we die? My dad would kill me either way.” Sakura nodded along as they started walking down the street, not another soul in sight.

Konoha wasn’t a huge town, despite never visiting Kiba’s house before, they could easily make their way back. “Hey, the park isn’t that far away. We could go sober up there then come back for your car?”

----

It seemed like whatever Shino gave them had mostly worn off during their walk and their stone bench looked more inviting than ever. They had shared countless moments there, from their first kiss, to their first “I love you”. They even opened their college acceptance letters there. Sakura swung her legs back and forth on the bench, “You know, I still have the edible in my bag. Should we?”

Sasuke ran a hand through his midnight hair, “Jesus fuck, alright. We’ve gotten this far and I know you wanted to try it. We can split it.”  

They had been sitting and talking for quite some time when Sakura started giggling more and feeling some type of way. “Woah. Is this why half our classmates came to school high everyday? What have we been missing?”

Sasuke’s eyes were half lidded as he slouched on the bench, “maybe Naruto is actually onto something. We should call him. Haha. Naruto. What a loser.”

Sakura started patting around her pockets to call their friend, “Sasuke. I think I left my phone in my cardigan pocket, which we left on the kitchen floor. Fuck, I’m so stupid,” but she was still laughing a little and Sasuke just shrugged. “It be like that. I left mine too. We can get them later and we can call Naruto later. Life is so chill.”

Sakura smiled, “exactly, it really do be like that. And life is so chill. Like woah. Are you hungry by the way?” Sasuke perked up a bit and nodded, “starving. Ichirauku is just around the corner.”

----

Sitting in the vinyl Ichiraku booth waiting for their cheeseburgers, Sakura was relieved to be somewhere she’s familiar with. But then she spotted a face she’s very familiar with after years of sleepovers and flower shop visits: Ino’s dad. She ducked down started tapping her palm the table, “Sasuke, don’t look, don’t look, it’s Ino’s dad. This is terrible, he’s like a fucking mind reader or something he’s totally gonna know we’re high.”

“Can you stop, he’ll look this way if you keep making noise. Just be chill or something.” He couldn’t help but steal a glance over his shoulder to confirm if it really was Inoichi. “Holy shit, wait. Is that Shikamaru’s dad?”

Sakura craned her neck to see over Sasuke’s head, “it totally is! And they’re with Chouji’s dad too! This is crazy. If they see us they’re gonna tell my mom. And then I’ll be on permanent house arrest.” She sank lower into her chair until her pink head rested on the table.

Sasuke placed his chin on his folded hands. He had endured enough shenanigans for one night, it was time to just wait this one out. Once he got his cheeseburger with extra tomatoes he was ready to go home and knock out.

Except Chouza’s laugh carried across the diner, and so did his booming voice, “just like the old days, right guys? We still get the munchies!”

Sakura perked back up when she heard this, “did he just say the munchies? Oh my god, Sasuke they’re high. They probably smoked weed and now they’re here because they have the munchies. Just like you and me. This night is too fucking weird.”

Thankfully as the trio of dads was about to walk out with their food to-go, the waitress arrived with their order and blocked them from view. The pair ate in relative silence, glad for a moment of calm. But it didn’t last because not long after the dads left, another familiar figure walked in.

“Sakura, you’ll never fucking believe it. Actually just look, it’s Kakashi.”

She whipped around to see that it really was none other than their favorite literature teacher. She waved him over without thinking twice and Sasuke kicked her under the table. “What are you thinking,” he grits out. Kakashi was cool, hell, cool enough to let everyone call him by his first name, but he was still their teacher. An adult who worked for their school. Someone who could totally get them in trouble. Like, worse than detention, and they’d never even had detention.

“If it isn’t my favorite students,” Kakashi smiled as if seeing them outside of school was a perfectly normal occurrence. “What are you doing here?” Sakura questioned innocently, as if it wasn’t well into the night and she didn’t reek of weed.  

“Picking up some food,” he answered matter-of-factly. “I could ask the same of you two, you’re normally home studying at this time of night, am I wrong?” Nope, he was 100% correct.

Sasuke chose his words carefully, “tonight has been an anomaly. But I am ready for bed now.” Kakashi nodded, “I see. You look like you’re done eating, so it won’t be long now. Drive carefully.”

The students exchanged a look before Sasuke swallowed his pride and started to beg as best as he knew how, “please, can you drive us home, we walked here from somewhere else and I don’t feel comfortable operating a motor vehicle in my currention condition, if you know what I mean.” Kakashi considered the two of them. They were certainly acting strange. Was Sakura trying to wink at him or was that a nervous twitch?

His eyes crinkled, “one ride won’t hurt, it’s late and what kind of teacher would I be if I left my students out to fend for themselves? I’ll just pick up my order and we can leave.”

----

They got situated in the car, just to find their former elementary school teacher Iruka sitting in the passenger seat. Sakura’s jaw dropped as she looks between Kakashi and Iruka. “You,” she points to the gray haired man, “and you?” she points to the ponytailed man. “Huh,” added Sasuke, “I thought Iruka hated tardiness, but Kakashi is late to class everyday.”

“Honey,” Iruka laughed nervously, “did you not tell your students about us? You always call them your precious students, I mean, I thought you’d tell at least these kids and Naruto.”

“Yeah,�� jeered Sakura from the back seat, “what other secrets are you hiding Kakashi?”

“Sakura, shut up, shut up, Naruto texted me to come over now. He has something really cool to show us—or so he says. I wanna see, plus he owes us for sending us to Kiba’s. Kakashi take us to Naruto’s instead.”

Kakashi sighed, “I’ve seen some shit being a teacher, but I never thought I’d become a chauffeur for my students. But alright.” He made a U-turn and headed to Naruto’s. He had been there plenty of times, seeing as Minato was the school principal and something of a mentor to Kakashi.

----

After a car ride filled with the Mamma Mia soundtrack (Iruka claimed it was neutral territory, everyone loves it), they finally got dropped off at Naruto’s. They knocked on the door, ready for whatever surprise Naruto had to show them. When he flung the door open, they had never seen their friend so excited. His blue eyes were sparkling, “hurry! My room!” and he scurried into the house before they could even take their shoes off.

Naruto’s room was already quite a sight to behold considering the orange color scheme and ramen cups littering his desk, but his new orange quilt wasn’t what had Sakura screaming. “Why the fuck do you have a fox? Is that legal? Where did you get that thing?”

The blonde sniffed, “excuse me, ‘that thing’ has a name. Say hi to Kurama. Isn’t he a cutie?” Sasuke crossed his arms. Yup, their best friend had lost his mind. Even the fox’s collar and ID tag were orange. “And just what do you plan on doing with a fox, idiot?”

Naruto considered this for a moment, “I dunno. Didn’t think that far. I got it from this guy I know. Do you think Suna State allows pets in the freshman dorms?” Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. Hopeless, he was really hopeless. And then he remembered how Naruto had let them down earlier, but he didn’t think it was because he had acquired a new pet. “What was that all about earlier? How do you not have weed?”

“Oh yeah! I have something else to show you! It’ll explain everything. Come into the basement. Say bye to Kurama first.” Sakura half-heartedly waved at the rather grumpy looking fox in his cage before they followed Naruto down below.

----

There was no way the universe wasn’t fucking with them. “Sai? Why the hell are you in Naruto’s basement?”

“So rude, Saucey-k! He’s my guest, you’re a pest! And he’s painting, duh.” Their very strange and very pale friend was sitting in front of a giant canvas that nearly stretched the entire span of the wall. He was adding details to what looked like a picture of Naruto in a loincloth. He was lounging on his side, eating grapes with one hand, and petting a fox with the other.

“Yeah no shit, I can see that,” Sasuke quipped, “but why?” Naruto huffed at him again, like it was obvious, “he needs money for his college tuition, so I commissioned him to paint me and Kurama. I’m looking pretty sexy, right?” Sakura didn’t bother answering him, “how does this ‘explain everything’, though?”

Naruto snapped two finger guns at them, “oh, right! Sai is an artist. And he does his best work when he’s high. He obviously needed a lot of weed to complete this masterpiece, so I gave him all my weed. It’s like, paying it forward or something.” If at all possible, Sasuke was even more irritated than before. He couldn’t spare a gram for his lifelong best friends, but he could give it all to this guy? Traitor.

“Well, now that you’ve seen it, we should leave Sai to work in peace. Looks amazing, cutie! Kurama, we’re coming back up, did you miss me already?”

---

“Wanna pet him? He’s only bit me six times in the last hour, I think he really likes my vibe or something.” Before either of them could protest, Naruto started opening the cage. “Kurama, come here, come here. Who’s a good boy? Who wants to get pet?” His arms made a circle for Kurama to settle into when the fox started stalking towards the cage door. He pounced through the gap in Naruto’s arms and hit the ground running.

“Kurama, wait! We were just becoming such good friends! Come back here!” The trio immediately chased after the animal, but he was too fast and he escaped out of their doggy door and into the night. They rushed into the backyard just in time to see Kurama leap over the fence and out of the Uzumaki property.

They all plopped down onto the grass and Naruto started wailing, “he’s gone! What did I do wrong? Please, you guys we have to find him!” They definitely weren’t high anymore, they were too tired for this, but they weren’t shitty friends, so they agreed to go look for him.

----

They had even enlisted Sai to help them out. As they walked around Naruto’s neighborhood calling for Kurama, Naruto’s phone started ringing, “do you think Kurama is calling? He wants to come home!” He started excitedly fishing his phone out of his front pocket, “Kiba? Why would he be calling now?” Sasuke and Sakura settled on the sidewalk, expecting some weird conversation between dealers.

“You found him? Holy shit man! Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there soon! Thanks bro!” he hung up the phone and faced his friends, “Kiba found Kurama! Let’s go, we have to go now before Kurama starts missing me too much!”

And they were headed back to the place where the night had begun.

----

Thankfully Kiba only lived a few blocks away because Sakura’s feet were dragging with exhaustion. They were standing in Kiba’s backyard and she leaned against Sasuke’s shoulder as they listened to the explanation. The back gate was mysteriously left open, and Akamaru wandered out into the front yard. He was having a relaxing evening chewing a bone on the front lawn when a fox appeared. It seemed that the fox smelled Akamaru’s treat bank in the back and wanted a taste for himself. When Akamaru started barking like mad, very peeved that some other animal was trying to get at his precious treats, Kiba went outside to see what was going on. He just thought he was hallucinating since he was super high, but it was really a fox.

“And then I saw he had a tag and it had your name and number!” Kiba finished. Naruto had tears in his eyes, “that’s amazing. Kurama probably smelled Akamaru and just wanted a friend. Friendship is so powerful!” He was hand feeding Kurama treats, who looked much more complacent now that he was being fed.

They all made their way back into the house just as Kiba’s kickback was winding down. Sai disappeared into the kitchen for a while, returning with a cardigan and a jacket. “Ugly, this is a terrible color I’ve only ever seen you wear. And your boyfriend is basically attached to you, so I’m assuming this is his.” Sakura reached out to grab them from his hands before settling back on the couch.

“Thanks again, Kiba. I’m gonna take Kurama home now,” Naruto turned to face Sasuke and Sakura. “You two live in the opposite direction. Are you gonna walk?”

“I can drive.” The whole group looked to the front of the room where the voice came from. “Shino?” asked Sakura, “I didn’t even realize you were still here. And aren’t you high?”

“I’m the supplier and the designated driver.” When he offer any further explanation, Sasuke and Sakura shrugged and got up from the couch. Sasuke could get his car tomorrow. A free ride back to his comfy bed sounded wonderful.

----

Sakura had fallen asleep almost immediately when she got back to her own room, not even bothering to change her outfit. It had to be well into the afternoon when she finally woke up. Her head felt fuzzy and her mouth was dry. Was last night even real?

She grabbed her phone out of her cardigan pocket just to find that it was dead. But her pocket also held a napkin, “what is this? I don’t remember putting this in here?”

She unfolded the white napkin to see one of Sai’s signature ink drawings. It depicted Sakura, drawn in red pen, leaning against Sasuke, drawn in blue pen. He even added a bit of background—it looked like the grass and fence of Kiba’s backyard. He must’ve drawn it when he went into the kitchen. Sakura plugged her phone in and flopped back down onto her bed. She stared at the little drawing, wishing she was with Sasuke right now.

So last night was real.

----

A/N: this isnt meant to make nerds feel bad about staying at home. im writing fanfic so i am the nerd at home

[playunderground]

Introducing OVERSOUL: An Interview with Derrick Saladino

Last month, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Derrick Saladino to talk about his brand, OVERSOUL. When he pitched OVERSOUL to me in his initial email, he described it as “a lifestyle brand created from identity crisis,” and that “counterculture/subcultures like anime, gamer, emo-punk, euro-techno, and underground hiphop/b-boy culture heavily influence the brand’s creative direction.” I stared hard at the first two influences, and then stared not-as-hard at the rest of the influences, wondering how these various subcultures could overlap.

My brain being comprised of worms and dirt, I assumed that the anime and gamer influences meant that the designs were going to look like Bart Drinking Lean or Sasuke Wearing Supreme. (In other words, a caricature of anime-inspired Instagram ad streetwear.) This assumption changed quickly after taking a look at OVERSOUL’s site. Their first collection, ISEKAI, is comprised of three pieces. The logo tee and hoodie both look great, but the third piece was what really caught my attention: it’s a button-down tee adorned with daggers. At a glance, it looks nothing like anime- or gaming-inspired clothing. This was the point at which I snapped out of my irony-poisoned haze; the world of memeified, ironic-but-not-quite-ironic hentai tees and Goku Smoking Weed edits had calcified my expectations of what forms of inspiration a brand could and couldn’t pull.

It makes sense in the context of the rest of his influences and the ethos that he operates under – to get ahead of myself for a second, Derrick had this to say of his interest in various countercultures:

"When people express their passions or life to a certain degree, it just pulls me in. It’s like, ‘Okay, I don’t know what the fuck it is, but show me. Let me indulge.’ That’s really how I get into things."

In talking to Derrick, on and off the record, I saw a talented designer who was unapologetic about what he was interested in and passionate about. He’s also a huge geek that runs a bi-weekly Smash tournament at a local nightclub.

(This interview has been edited for length and clarity.)

"Okay, wait, first and foremost, my name is Derrick Saladino and I am a fucking gamer. Before being a designer or anything, I am a fucking gamer. "

Daniel: What is OVERSOUL? 

Derrick: OVERSOUL is about identity crisis. It’s my experience dealing with that personally. Growing up, I never really fit in to particular popular groups. Every time I would attempt to make new friends, I would stumble upon the randomest shit: anime culture, gamer culture, I’d end up becoming friends with a lot of emo-punk kids, techno. Nothing that I fell into was mainstream, popular culture. It was a lot to do with being lonely and trying to make friends. With OVERSOUL, thinking about all that kind of shit, dealing with identity crisis – obviously there’s a lot of people who’ve been through that – I want to create a new identity or community of people who share similar values and, you know, take pride in it? 

I mean, even the name, OVERSOUL, I ripped the word from this really old anime that I used to watch growing up, Shaman King.

Shaman King? What the hell, like 4Kids shit?

Yeah. That wasn’t the first anime that I ever watched, but it was something that I was really into. From being like 12 to even later in my high school, I just loved it. The concept was so cool – taking a soul and imbuing it in an object to make it powerful. It just looked fuckin’ sick. When people wear my clothes, I want them to feel empowered. That’s how I want people to see it. Soul being clothing, putting it on yourself, there you go.

Spirit Integration is, I don’t think the tagline to the brand, but it’s also part of it. Spirit Integration is mind, body, and spirit, and for anyone into the spiritual side of life, that’s what makes us. Our thoughts and mind and DNA – that makes us who we are.

When I read the description on your site, I noted that you referred to OVERSOUL as not just a startup streetwear thing or a brand, but a conceptual design experience. What does this encompass, and why did you pick this specific wording?

None of the stuff I make or have made in the past is very conventional. It’s been pretty avant-garde, I would say. I’ll have an idea, and regardless of whatever trend is going on right now, I just fucking do it. When I make clothes, I’m not making clothes for the public, really. My mentality is more like, “You know what would be sick in a game? If the costume looked like this.” That’s why I say it’s a conceptual design experience.

Has being involved in the industry and working behind the scenes affected how you understand your own brand after launching? What about how you understand customers and other brands, now that you know what the design process is like?

First-off, let me just back up and go over a history of what I did before OVERSOUL. In high school, I made clothing because I hated what everyone else was wearing. This was 2011-2013. During that time, that’s when I had a brand and brands like Obey, Diamond Supply, and The Hundreds – literally peak Tumblr hypebeast, Zumiez, starter pack shit – were around. I looked around at everyone else and was like, “I can’t click that, it’s not resonating with me.”  I had two other brands after that, and then came OVERSOUL. So I have this history of kind of knowing the market, even being a consumer, and evolving as a businessman and designer. I don’t think anything has changed. I think I’ve always stayed true to doing my own shit, rather than trying to compete with everybody else. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll notice what other designers are doing and some things I’ll take note of or inspo from but I hardly think about other people, to be honest. I respect everyone’s hustle, I just can’t be doing the same shit.

Give me your top 3 video game fits.

Top 3, oh my god. Snake from Metal Gear Solid V – very techwear, utility as fuck. My previous brand before this was techwear, and I had to stop it because techwear is so hard to sell. 

I’m really into draping fashion. Cloud, Final Fantasy VII, it was the movie Advent Children – you play Smash, right? There’s two costumes in there: the black, and like this, not really skirt, but it covers up somewhat? All-black, huge sash going on, it reminded me of Yohji Yamamoto.

Something that I’m going to make in the future is inspired by Naoto from Blazblue. His outfit, I looked at it and I was like, “Yo, this could be fucking, like Chrome Hearts, like what the fuck? I’m just gonna abuse this character design, it looks amazing.” I think that fashion right now, what really gets people’s attention on social media, is just some crazy shit, I don’t mean dumb shit, but like, just has to be very bold, and I think that’s what Naoto’s character design is. His pants have this huge cross on them. I think that’s one of the most crazy things I’ve seen in awhile.

Let’s talk about Anime-den! It’s this thing that we started roughly 5 months ago. One of my best friends here, he actually works at Fortune [Sound Club, a nightclub in Chinatown], and he’s a music producer. We really bonded over clothes, anime and gaming, and we had this idea – I think we were just high as fuck one day – and I’m like, “Yo, you know what would be fucking dope? If we brought weeb shit into the club.” I think he was just joking around, but he was like, “That would be really fun to set up, we can do it.” 

[Weeb being short for weaboo, a pejorative term referring to those obsessed with Japanese culture to the point of fetishization and idolization. It’s been ‘reclaimed’ by some fans of anime, used ironically as a form of self-deprecation.]

So, the next day happens, we’re talking, and he asks me, “Do you actually wanna do it?”, taking it seriously. I’m astonished. I was fucking joking, you know? We were just some high guys. He pitches the idea to Fortune and they approve it. At this point, we’re like, “Okay, we gotta actually invest all our effort into this,” because we’re actually gonna do something that I personally haven’t seen anybody do before – bringing a game into a club, anime into the club.

It’s really cool. Just yesterday, the commentator from Vancouver Street Battle came to Anime-den. Pride? He commentated for Battle of BC 3 and Pinnacle. He has ties with Animebae, too. [Animebae is a local anime-inspired startup streetwear brand.] Who would’ve thought that this guy would come through? And he brought his friends. He was telling us that what we’re doing is sick, and hearing this from a guy of that calibre in the gaming or Smash community, it really shook us. We’re actually bringing in people who play the game seriously here. 

How has setting it in a club made it different from other tournaments that you’ve been to? How does the dynamic change?

It’s a little different because when it comes to actual competitive events, people have a different mentality when they enter. They’re there to win and they practice hard for it. As for Anime-den, it’s the total opposite. It’s very casual, we’re all just drinking, blazing, whatever. It’s just the environment where, you know, dim light in a club, there’s music going on in the back –I guess to some gamers it can seem distracting? But I think people, they don’t care. They just play. They’re just there to have fun. Totally different dynamic from an actual event. 

I think that the purpose of Anime-den is to bring people together. That’s literally what Anime-den is for.

Yeah, I just noted here that I think it’s consistent with your brand, in that you’re translating the intangibility of these digital spaces like anime and gaming that people bond over, and you’re putting it into a physical space and letting people actually further develop what these subcultures would look like in person. Like, when you think of anime or gaming in real life you think of Anime Expo or cosplaying or some shit – and that’s fine, people have fun with that [Editor’s note – I think it’s fun!] – but it’s not the only mode of expression. With events like this, I think it’s cool that you’re saying, “If you’re a gamer, there’s another avenue for you. You don’t have to dress up or anything…”

I mean, walking in today and meeting you, you wouldn’t have gotten the idea that I was super into anime or gaming. I just look like a regular dude, right? And my clothing gets inspired by it, but I don’t really look like I’m cut from the legit anime cloth. Choosing these lifestyles and putting it into this real aspect, I think it can appeal to everybody. People tend to judge a lot of things, but once you step into the Anime-den room, whatever perspective you have about anime to begin with, I’m pretty sure that changes. Man, the crowd, they look all the same as you do too. We’re all normal people, we just like cool shit.

I think we should talk about ISEKAI.

OVERSOUL’s first small collection was ISEKAI. Translated to English, it would be ‘a better world,’ and I named it that based off of the anime genre, isekai. When you watch these sort of things, it’s usually someone going to another world. For my first collection, I wanted to welcome people to my world. That’s why I chose ISEKAI. One of the big graphics for the brand was the blade shirt. [On the site, it’s name is the Beginners Dagger Shirt.] My reference for that was playing MMORPGs. Typically, the first weapon you get [in MMORPGs] is a short sword or dagger. I wanted to be like, “This is the start of my brand.” This is your starter item. It’s funny, when I tell people this – they’re always like, “I never thought…”

[laughs] It’s really cool!

That’s why I went with ISEKAI. This is what my world is. One of OVERSOUL’s long-term goals is actually establishing ‘my world,’ if that makes sense? There’s only a handful of designers who have, like, captured a signature silhouette. For example, Rick Owens. When you see [a Rick Owens piece], you know it’s Rick Owens. If Zara did the same shit as Rick Owens, you would look at it and be like, “That’s Rick Owens.” You wouldn't call it Zara. That’s what I’m trying to establish for myself, to create that silhouette for myself eventually in the future.

What’s up next for OVERSOUL? 

Hmm, how should I put this... should I leak something? I’m going to drop an accessories part sometime soon. That’s in the design process right now, but I’m looking forward to doing my next big collection.

There’s this one song that I found in the past during my peak weeb days: Plastic Love by Mariya Takeuchi. A couple of months ago, they released the first official music video for it, after like 35 years, which is fucking insane – they should have done that a long time ago. I totally forgot about the song until I saw the music video. It’s something that I could relate to before and can relate to now, and I definitely want to build my next collection based on Plastic Love.

I think Plastic Love works really well because I’m surrounded by that scene in Vancouver – I work in Yaletown, and that’s the Yaletown lifestyle. It’s very lustful, but you don’t care. It’s all fake shit, really. That’s what Yaletown culture sorta is. I wouldn’t say that I’m like that, but I think that I could definitely expand on the topic through my brand. It’s not necessarily identity crisis, but the genre and artist kind of make it a subculture.

There’s also a few collabs on the way. One with a music group, another with a tattoo artist. What I really wanna do with the tattoo artist – he does anime tattoos – is ero art. Like, erotica. I think it’s a slept-on art style. It’s not generally for the public, per se, so I think that it would be something worth making. Super ecchi, maybe line art. I want it very exaggerated, even bondage-type shit. 

There’s a lot of things where people are like, “Oh, that’s too much!” But you know what, it could be sick! This is why I do things solely for myself. As long as I get a reaction from somebody, I’m happy with that. Wanting a response, not even approval, just being acknowledged, that this shit exists, it motivates me to keep doing what I do. 

I thought about doing graphic design shit; anime erotica art goes really well with techno. That kind of scene, the way that European style posters are, if you take the art and fuse them together, it works really well. I’m like, “How come no one has done this yet?” 

So you’re treating it more like art and not just a part of anime culture?

I view anime as its own respective art, and with art, there’s no rules, so I can just take this and this, and bang. At the end of the day, everybody wants to see new and cool things. People are always going to have their own subjective opinions, but as long as you have their attention, you’ve already won the battle. That’s the mentality that I carry, that everyone has their own opinions. 

Last question: what are your top 5 video games?

You know, I was trying to prepare for this interview – I didn’t even think this would come up.

[laughs] Come on, man.

I’m gonna put Super Smash Bros. Melee on there – I’ve been playing it for so long, it’s literally been bonded with my DNA. 

I don’t wanna say Ocarina of Time, because I think that it’s everyone’s favourite, but I mean, it’s still up there. It’s an all-time masterpiece, but I enjoyed Majora’s Mask a lot more. The concept of the world being blown up by the moon, in-game time, the moon crashes in like 3 days, and you keep going back in time, skipping whatever, I think it was so much fun, so yeah. 

I really like Fire Emblem: Three Houses. It’s very recent, but I have so many hours on it already, and I can’t stop. I haven’t felt this way about a game in a long time. It’s so replayable. Once you finish Ocarina of Time, you probably don’t touch it for a while. When you play FE, you’re like, okay, let’s do the next one. There’s three houses! Even after doing all three, it’s like, “Oh, I’m gonna try again, but I’m gonna make this character like this.”

I grew up playing a lot of Roller Coaster Tycoon, unfortunately, but it’s fun. It’s not a typical gamer thing, but I love it. 

I might put Final Fantasy VII on there, too – when Aerith died, I real-life teared up, like, “Dude, no way, you’re really gonna kill her off like that? You gotta save her!”… and then she dies. I’m pretty sure after that happened, I didn’t touch the game for a week. I was actually emotionally harmed. I’m really into RPGs – being able to emotionally attach yourself to characters, I think it’s a beautiful thing. 

Any last things you wanna say?

I want my brand comparable to Chrome Hearts, MISBHV or Rude [Vogue]; when they have their own aesthetic and that’s what they do, that’s what I want to build as well. The idea that I take a lot of inspiration from gaming, it really shows.

Maybe I’m hungover, so I can’t really find the words right now, but for anyone trying to do fashion, music, whatever, as saturated as the community seems at the moment, you just have to get your foot in the door and start. Yeah, there’s competition, but to be honest, with all the people here who have brands, I’m friends with all of the people who make them, and I have no judgement about if their clothes are wack or not. Some things I don’t agree with, but everyone’s on the same hustle.

OVERSOUL’s ISEKAI collection is available now online at oversoul.online. 

[wannabewriterstuff-blog]

A Single Tear

Prompt: 44. “You always cared more about her than you ever did about me”

Requested?: No

Words: 1,737

Warnings: Angst

Pairing: Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

A/N: Heyyy, sorry if it’s bad. It’s my first time writing a fanfic 😅

If you do like it, just ask if you want a part 2. Feel free to request anything too! I need some ideas❤😂

I also used one of the story starters because I had no idea how to start the imagine.

I just want to say that this fic is highly inspired by the imagine "Her" by @ashisbaeee because they're an amazing writer 😍 also, sorry if it's a bit similar. I wanted to write something but I had no inspiration until I read that fic😅

Sorry if it's kind of rushed. I'm not used to writing just yet. I hope I get better at it though😅😆

It was a normal day. As long as you ignore the fact that it wasn’t. Waking up to a cold empty bed space beside you was normal, but why was it still empty when Tom came home a few hours ago?

Just then, you saw note beside the bed on the nightstand.

“Good morning love! Sorry I’m not home. Have plans with Z and Haz. Be back later, love ya!”

Zendaya.

Always Zendaya. Even if you knew there was nothing to be jealous about, and even if Harrison was with them, there’s still a gut wrenching feeling in your stomach that tells you there’s something wrong, but you couldn’t do anything about it. You just had to trust Tom.

Pushing the thought aside, you get up and try to cook breakfast. You thought Tom would be home after a few minutes or a couple of hours, but he was home later than you originally thought. He wasn’t even home ‘til dinner.

You were a bit upset because you wanted to spend the day with him after he was away for 6 months because of filming, but you also understood why he wanted to hang out with his friends.

When he did come home though, he immediately went to hug you. “I’m really sorry, I thought I’d be home early, but Z suggested we go walk around a bit.” You heard the sincerity in his voice, and decided it was ok. You told him it was fine, and suggested to watch something on Netflix.

“Y/N, I wanted to ask you, do you want to go to Haz's house tomorrow for a sleepover? He to invited me earlier and said I could bring you.” You were a bit shocked because you never really got invited to those even after 3 years of dating Tom.

You've been dating Tom for a while, and yes, you've become close with his friends, but not as close as he was to them. Even though you and Zendaya were close friends you were still insecure due to the rumors about her and Tom, but it's really not their fault, and you knew better than to let it get to your head.

“Sure, why not?” you were happy because you finally got invited.

~~Time skip to the sleep over~~

You were currently sitting in a circle with Tom, Harrison, Jacob. She says was with Laura outside the house doing whatever. You excused yourself from the group telling them you wanted to go to sleep early.

You were sitting on the bed scrolling through Instagram when you see it. A picture of Tom holding hands with Zendaya. At first, you tried to tell yourself that it's just platonic hand holding, but you couldn't get the jealous feeling out. So you decided to go downstairs to excuse Tom from the group and talk to him about it. You knew it wasn't really the time to do this, but you just couldn't take it anymore.

You make your way downstairs just in time to hear Tom saying something about Zendaya.

“I mean, Zendaya is amazing. She's talented, she’s beautiful, and she's also very nice. I mean, how can you not like her?”. He spoke like a love-struck teenager talking about their crush. Harrison was quick to answer though “Hey, think about what you're saying dude. Remember Y/N? Your girlfriend?”. You smirked because you were quite happy that Harrison came to your defense.

“Of course I haven't forgotten about her—just, Zendaya— I mean, I love Y/N, and she’s amazing in her own way, but Z's different. She just got me confused I guess.” And what that, your heart broke. You didn’t, want to hear more so you just slowly walked back to the stairs to your shared room with Tom. You had tears in your eyes, but you just held them back.

When you got to your room, you just decided to sleep. Trying not to think about what Tom had just said.

After a few hours, you were still awake, you felt the bed dip behind you and an am wrap around your waist. You felt some sort of warmth, but still, you had the words replaying in your head.

“I love Y/N, and she’s amazing in her own way, but Z's different. She just got me confused I guess.”

Tom had expected you to turn around and hug back, but when you didn't, he wondered of you heard what he said— but that’s impossible….right? He just tried not to think about it.

In the morning, you had no energy to be as enthusiastic as you were yesterday, feeling emotionally by the words that you’d heard. You went to pack some of your bags and prepared to go home with Tom since you only planned on staying at Harrison’s for one night. As you and Tom waved goodbye to them, you couldn't help but notice the way he looks at Zendaya. It reminded you of how he used to look at you.

You haven't really talked to Tom as much, and you were sure you started to be distant, but you really don't know what to do. You know what you heard, but you might have just misinterpreted it. I mean, he still loves you the same, right? You might just be over thinking things.

Time seems to go by fast. First, you're waking up next to him. Next, you're waving goodbye to him at the airport because of his next movie. You have to admit, you have been quite distant, but you can't help it. Not after what he said. You try to forget it, but every time you see Zendaya with him, you just keep getting reminded of what Tom said.

After a few weeks of being alone at the apartment with Tessa, you just seem to get more paranoid. Specially now that you found out that Zendaya was going to be in the movie with Tom. Again.

As much as you can, you just try to calm yourself down. Your mind running with thoughts, you seem to get interrupted by your phone ringing. When you see Tom's picture appear on your phone. You instantly pick up. Even though you were a bit hurt, you still missed him.

“Y/N?” after he spoke, your mind was filled with worry because of his tone.

“Hi Tommy! Why'd you call? Thought you were busy?” you tried to keep your voice sweet no matter how worried you are.

“Him, yeah. We’re currently on our break. Just wanted to talk to you about something.” His tone still remaining the same.

“Sure…what is it?”

“I think we need to break up.”

You felt like crying, sobbing, but you couldn't. You felt numb.

“It's her isn't it? Zendaya?”

You knew the answer, but it wouldn't hurt to ask would it?

“I'm sorry” was all he could say. Although you wanted an explanation, you couldn't talk to him anymore. Knowing you'd cry.

“It's ok. You always cared more about her than you ever did about me anyway”. You were disappointed, but you didn't care about hiding it anymore.

“It's not like that baby—” you cut him off. “Yes it is and you know it!” you took a breath. You never meant to shout.

“I’m sorry for shouting, but if you want to break up, I can't do anything about it.” Tears were now falling from your eyes. The numb feeling, gone.

“I’m really sorry Y/N” and with that, you hung up. A part of you wanted to fight him, but you also knew that it was pointless. Forcing a relationship is never good. No matter how painful, you just needed to let it go. There's no point in trying to bring back what was.

You stood up from your bed grabbing the suit case from under the bed and stuffing your clothes in it. You were sobbing at this point, but you knew you had to do this. You had called your best friend, telling her about the break up, and that you needed a place to stay until you found a new apartment. She insisted you stay with her though. She was looking for a new roommate anyway.

After you were done packing, you take Tessa with you to drop her off to Tom’s house where most of his family stayed. You'll just take her there and return to the apartment to get the bags and leave. They were near the apartment, so you just decided to walk there.

Knocking at the door, Nikki answered. She had a smile on, but it quickly fell when she noticed your tear stained face. She asked you what happened, and you explained.

“I-It's ok Mrs. Holland. I understand him. I know I can't compare to Z. It's just— I just came here to drop Tessa off.”. You were still crying. Nikki went to hug you. “You know you can stay here anytime you want, right?” She was always so nice. You treated her like she's your own mom.

“No thanks, I already have a place to stay. I guess I should say goodbye?” Nikki pulled back from the hug, both hands on your shoulder. She takes a deep breath before she speaks, due to her tearing up as well.

“Ok. I wish you the best Y/N, but please, no matter what

happens, you're welcome here anytime you want.”

You decided not to say bye to the others, you didn't want to get anymore emotional. After you said goodbye to Nikki, you went back to your once shared apartment with Tom to finish packing. It was heartbreaking, to say the least. You never wanted this to happen.

You walk towards the door, bags in hand. You turn around, you wanted to get one last look at the apartment before leaving. It’s like you were taking a picture in your head. Like you were trying say goodbye to the memories that was still lingering in there, but at the same time, trying to hold on to it.

You close your eyes, accepting the fact that you're not his anymore. You weren't. Not when you thought about how long he probably liked Zendaya.

A single tear fell from your eye as you turn around and walk away.

A single tear fell as you tried your best to leave the place you spent years in with Tom. The person who loved you. The person you will always love.

[canyoncurl]

God it’s rlly been a long time and istg I didn’t forget about you!! Last week I almost spent the whole weekend in my bed. My head hurt and I was like a dragon that couldn’t stop breathing 🔥. I thought I got Covid at first but the result turned out negative (thank god) so I back to work normally this week.(my colleagues say I’m tough and I be like:😎)

Harry’s house IS my favorite album (well I prefer to put it this way: my favorite Harry’s album is Harry’s next album🤣). I’m also obsessed with songs from hs1&2. 🍉🍬, the 🐟 song, golden, sott, 🥝…these songs rlly saved my life! God I wish I can meet more people who can go to Harry’s show with me. My friends are more like K-pop fans(but they listen to Harry as well, just don’t stan him like I do). It must be so much fun to see him across cities! Meeting friends, hitchhiked with strangers sounds so cooool! It’s not silly at all!! You makes me rlly want to meet you and go a show or two with you. 🥺

Christmas🎄 is near and I’ve been planning to buy some stuff with my friends. Except for the holiday items, I also intend to put a new 🛋️ in my bedroom. My bedroom isn’t a big one so the sofa has to be small. It’s always exciting to get a new furniture in your house.🥳Well you know what, picking a sofa is not that hard, but picking a sofa blanket makes me shilly-shally. Do you have any suggestions and what’s your plan for the upcoming holiday?

About hobbies, despite I’m deadly busy, I still managed to find some time watching movies. I watched Trainspotting the third time yesterday. Idk why I find it so relatable and I even recite the lines. Btw are you going to see the new avatar movie 🍿 ?

To know more about you, and if you don’t mind, I would like to ask two more questions.

What’s your favorite movie(s)?

Has anything interesting happened to you recently?

Hope you have a lovely dayyyy! <333

M

m, the merry and bright! 🫂🤍

there’s no need to apologise for messaging me late, m’kay!? real life commitments always take priority, especially during the holiday season! it’s taken me an equally long (if not longer) time to reply to you, so we’re more than even 😌🫶

i’m hoping that by the time you receive this, you’re feeling far happier and healthier than you did! have your symptoms cleared up, my love!? i do hope you’re spending christmas well. sending so many tissues and a warm hug. ❤️‍🩹

a new sofa sounds like a lovely idea! the weather here has been particularly frosty, so cuddling under a blanket on a new couch on christmas day sounds heavenly! 🛋🤍 did you end up picking out a blanket!? i am a bit of a blanket fiend (as i am typing this, i am snuggled under four and a duvet, hot water bottle tucked against my tummy dhfgf). my personal favourite is my harry inspired one with ‘we’ll be alright’ printed on it. a loved one got me it for christmas a couple of years ago & it’s ever so cosy!!!

now to answer your wonderful questions 😌

1. i struggle to concentrate throughout full films unless i’m at the cinema (which i frequent a lot dhfgf), so my criteria for favourites is usually ‘did i watch it the full way through without pausing!?’ – my ultimate favourite is brokeback mountain, which i have watched more times than i care to admit! such a sniffle starter … i got a piece of art commissioned for my bedroom wall & even that makes me sniffle each morning dhdgf! some other favourites include beautiful boy, spirited away, isle of dogs… and monsters university 🥲. i also watched bones and all at the cinema recently and it’s not left my mind in weeks fhfhfg. i have not watched any of the avatar movies, believe it or not! have you? if so, would you recommend them?

2. hm!!! it’s always hard to remember interesting things that have happened when you’re trying to. all of my stories have disappeared, whisked away in the wind dgfgfg🧍my birthday was last week & i turned 23, so that was fun! i went for a walk around the christmas markets and an art exhibition. 🌬❄️ what interesting things have you been up to!?

thank you for your lovely questions and for being patient with me! i hope you have a wonderful christmas, my love! looking forward to getting to know you more by the next one (… and for talking about those future concerts together)! 🫂🤍

seasonal squeezes,

bug 🐛🤍

[agron-rebel-general]

1-24 buahahhaahhaahaaa!! (Like you don't know who this is)

OMG I SO KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! LMAOOO!!! I FREAKING LOVE YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!!! OK SO i’m going to skip over ones that I’ve already answered!!!! EEEE I’M SO EXCITED!!! @highspeedsamurai !!! YEAH!! THATS HOW CONFIDENT I AM!!!!!

2: How many ships do you have on this blog?

OMGG!! I HAVE A LOT AND I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE!!! Nagron is my main canon ship, and then I have amazing ones with others!!! Cetan, Alcide, Steve, Gannicus, LOTS of ladies from the show, crossovers like a certain greek goddess, or Guinevere and Phoebe etc etc!! BRING ME ALL THE SHIPS!!!!!!!!!

3: Are there any people you’ve been too afraid of approaching?

THEEREEE are a few to be honest!! I’ll very shyly like a post for a starter call or something!!! I’m working through my insecurities though!! Maybe one day if I get REALLY bold I shall send them memes ;)!!! I NEVER used to be like this I swear!! It stems from one of my former friends insulting my perky personality!! So I have been very....... insecure about things but I am DEFINITELY working through it!!! =D!! 

4: What’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse?

I just LOOOVE how complex Agron is!!!! I really enjoy delving into his mindsets at different times!! Throughout the canon verse, AUs, other era threads, modern aus... ALL the things!!! I just really enjoy getting inside his head and describing his emotions !!! Cause . .  the dude is VERYY emotional indeed!! 

5: If you had a billion dollars and could only spend it, what would you buy first?

UMMM I would probably spend it on cons OR plane tickets to meet all of my friends that I wanna visit!!! This is a totally selfish answer btw!!! I really love buying things for my family and friends... I would probably spend it on them first tbh!! 

6: How much cash does the mun have on them right now?

HAHAAH!!! Almost 1000 dollars..... yeaahhh I need to go to the bank!!!! =$

7: Last movie the mun watched.

Lethal Weapon 3!!! LOOVE IT!! I can never see it enough times!!! 

8: The mun’s favorite fictional character.

UMMMMM there is NO WAY IN HELL I can narrow it down!!!! I LOVE the muses I play like Agron, Bellamy Blake, Magnus Bane etc!! Buuut yeah no, I can’t pick my favorite fictional character!! 

9: Last concert the mun attended.

OMGG!!! I don’t go to a lot of concerts!! I SWEAR the last one I went to was a concert for Soul Decision !!! ... Anyone?? ;)

10: Last thing you did before logging in?

Organized my Dr.Seuss books!!! I’m in the middle of packing!!! 

11: What is the most precious thing you own?

THAAT is really hard to pick!!! I have a few things that are very near and dear to my heart!! 

12: The last time the mun cried.

Yesterday!! I don’t cry often but when it starts... its hard to stop! 

13: Muse that the mun is most like. (if applicable)

UMMM ......... Melitta?? ONLY because I feel I’m one of those people who likes to support their friends and listen to them and such!! 

14: Favorite Pokemon?

THEY ARE ALL SO CUTE!!!! 

15: Are you artsy?

HMMM I like to think so!?!? But probably not... I do enjoy doodling random stuff and making graphics online!!! But I’m rubbish at drawing and stuff!! I guess my artsty muse is more when it comes to photoshop and such! 

16: What does the mun really think about my muse?

OH WELL LOOK AT THAT.. you sent this anon so I guess I can’t answer it!!!!! No but actually... I could spend hours and write countless pages about how much I ADORE your muses!!!!  You write each one to perfection, and it truly makes ME a better writer to write with you!! You INSPIRE me and I just really can’t fully express in words how much I LLOOOOVEE your characters!! You put so much thought, effort, and capture them beautifully!! I am BLESSED to have you as a writing partner!! 

19: Do you have any stuffed animals?

OMG I HAVE A TON!!!!!! I kept all of my stuffies from my childhood so yeahhhhh.. I have BOXES of them!!!!! AND I AIN’T AFRAID TO ADMIT IT!! 

20: Which of your ships on this blog is the fluffiest?

HMMM I would have to say Agetan!! Which is Agron and Cetan [ @cetanlittlehawk !!] They are just so pure and Cetan’s is SO innocent!!! Definitely my fluffiest ship and I LOVE it!! 

21: The mun’s most annoying habit.

HMMM I used to bite my nails?? Most annoying habit... oh jeezz!! Thats a toughie!! I would say when I debate!! HAHAAHH! I get really into debates and like to use as much evidence as I can!! People tend to... not like that I guess?? So eventually just drop the argument or they run out of things to say!! hahahH! But yeah, that might be considered annoying ;)!!!

22: What do you like to do in your spare time?

Besides writing?? I love coloring, chatting on the phone and skype with my friends, making graphics, coding... hanging out with peeps.... YEAH!! thats probably all!! Going to add some stuff on my list when I learn to do more hands on things ;)!! Goals!!! ;)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING ME THE ASK MY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED ANSWERING THESE!!!!!!!!!

Munday Meme

[srtringbean]

First Love

Pairing: Namjoon x reader Genre: angst, romance, smut later on, angst Warnings: nothing yet Word count: 3731 Summary: “Don’t fall in love with someone like me… you’ll just be disappointed and leave…”

Part 1  Part 2  

Since you moved to Korea about a year ago things have been rather different for you. For starters, because you were a filmmaker Big Hit noticed your work inspired by BTS and so they contacted you for an interview to work for them. I know exciting right? Well you ended up taking the offer and loved it. About a month in you met the boys and boy you nearly melted into a puddle that day but they were very welcoming. It’s been over half a year now working for the company so making friends wasn’t as bad as you thought. The unnies would help you in your korean since you weren’t exactly native speaker fluent but you were fluent enough. It was even better when Namjoon actually spoke to you in english here and there. He was trying to make you feel more comfortable since you started working there so you two became close friends.

It was around the time that their comeback was approaching making it very stressful and busy for them. Filming for the music video, getting the set ready, having to edit, etc. man it was a load on you. “Oh, y/n do you think it’s possible to redo those two scenes this week and have editing finished by Monday?” Your sunbaenim asked knowing you were going to start editing today and thank the gods he asked today and not when you were halfway done. “Ummmm yeah I think I can but i’ll have to stay here all week since it’s a lot of editing to do and filming again.” In all honesty you weren’t very thrilled to stay and do overtime but you got paid more and had no plans either way so you took the offer. “Are you sure it’s not too much to ask? I know you’re one of our best editors and directors but don’t over do it.” Everyone in the company knew how hard you worked within the six months of being there just to go from editing to executive director and the head of the editing department but your sunbaenims were concerned about you since you were also the youngest there being only 20. “Yeah it’s okay i’ll just go home and pack some stuff to stay over the night.” giving him a smile to reassure him he nodded and smiled back leaving the room.

The walk home wasn’t far from the studio though the cold air freezing your body up made it feel far. You approach the building to greet the man letting you in. “Ah y/n there was someone looking for you earlier.” he was the cutest ahjussi ever and he treated you so kindly you being a foreigner. “Really? Who?” “It was a tall handsome young man with blond hair? Pink hair? You kids and your crazy hair colors.” you couldn’t help but chuckle at his remark. It was Namjoon he was talking about so you head to the elevator and press the number 4 button. Namjoon was basically the only best friend you had since moving and he made you feel very comfortable to be around. He wasn’t just an idol in your eyes unlike how most fans viewed him that way. Yeah you liked BTS a lot before working with them but even then you only saw them as human beings who happened to make really catchy music. When meeting them for the first time yeah you literally cried because they’re a group who holds a lot of meaning to your heart. “Oh sunbae what are you doing here?” It was hard to recognize him wearing all black (almost everything he wears really) face covered with a mask and wearing sunglasses but his pinkish blond hair was all you needed to know it was him. “Yahhh y/n you don’t need to be so formal just call me namjoon.” Giggling at his request you did it on purpose sometimes knowing it bothered him so you spoke up, “ Okay Namjoon what are you doing here?” “Oh yeah uhh the boys got you this…” He pulled out small bag with a light blue bow on it. “What’s this for?” curious what was in he gave it to you and before opening it he cleared his throat. “Well we know you’ve been working hard and we wanted to thank you for all the hard work and sleepless nights you’ve had for dealing with us… and uhh yeah open it.” There was excitement in his eyes when you opened the bag as if he was a child getting ice cream and you thought it was cute. “Oh my god….” It was a group photo you being the center of it. It was taken on your first day on the job and you had a bad start messing up but in the end there was a picnic with the boys cheering you up. It was as if it happened yesterday making you smile. “Do you like it? Oh god you don’t like it. I told them it would be stupid i’m s-” “I love it… thank you.” tears started to form in your eyes and out of pure instinct you hugged him tightly and let out a soft cry. As shocked as Namjoon was he returned the hug and man did his heart flutter. “I also got you something too..” He pulled out of the hug not wanting to but had to. “Wait what you did?” As you opened it there was a piece of paper folded nicely and then a locket. Opening it, it was a picture of when you guys visited home in LA recently looking at the other half was a selca of him making you laugh a little. You missed home... “Yah~ why did you put yourself on the other half?” It was funny but very adorable. “Well your best friend is always here for you.” He said with the biggest smile. There it was the smile that won everyone over. The dimples the were the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. “Well i’m glad that I have this to remind myself who my best friend is. Do you want to come in I made some hot coco earlier.” “You sure aren’t you busy? I don’t want to interupt your day.” “Yes I don’t have to go back until like 3 and it’s 1:30.” He came over many times that everyone asked if you were dating but you said no and brushed it off. Of course he was handsome and very good looking yet also a sweetheart who was actually an amazing person that you wished people knew about him like you did but- no no no you didn’t like him stop. “Sorry I didn’t have time to clean up the mess.” Looking at the mess you were too lazy to pick up for the past what two weeks now? Gross you thought to yourself. “If you’ve seen the dorm then this is nothing compared to that. Plus I’ve been here so many times it doesn’t matter.” Well… he is right.

Watching her heat up the hot cocoa he made his way to her living room and noticed her bookshelf stocked with film books and movies. He loved watching her geek out over blockbuster films or when you would show him the difference in lens or shots and loved it most when you showed him projects you were working on. The work you made was beautiful with the stories you tell making viewers being moved. Looking up and down he saw a photo laying there with y/n and another man who looked a hell of a lot older than her. “Y/n?” You hummed in response while stirring the drink. “Who’s this?” holding up the photo you looked up and immediately froze. God why did you keep that picture? Bringing back awful memories making you feel emptiness you walk over grab the picture and burn it. Taking a deep breath you feel your hand shaking but try to keep calm. “He’s nobody…. Do you want some cake too?” trying not to crack. “Are you okay?” noticing your change in expressions “Did I do som-” “It’s fine Joon…. It’s just nothing…” “Are you sure you’re okay?” Just breath y/n just breath…. “Just…. Just drop it okay? I’ll tell you some other time Joon.” He was concerned but knew not to push any further so he didn’t say anything else. Namjoon knew how difficult it was for you to express your feelings to anyone really but he noticed your efforts in trying to loosen up. He wanted to know more though and just wanted you to trust him, not that you didn’t but obviously there was more to know but your walls were too high up and too thick to break down due to your stubbornness. After eating something he helps pack some clothes and anything else you might need to finish your work. “Hey i’m going to take a quick shower do you mind picking up a little?” “Yeah sure.” “DON’T break my stuff okay?” “What I would never do such a thing! Now go take a shower stinky butt.” Yes it seems odd that he would stay while you shower but you reached that comfort level of friendship with him when you first invited him over. You kind of wish you had a picture of his reaction because it was priceless. After showering you picked out your daily comfortable style that everyone loved not knowing why. It was literally the same thing you were probably the girl version of Jungkook with his white shirts jeans and timberlands. Picking out a black shirt that was lose and a pair of jeans that were high enough to cover your not so toned sides and picking out your favorite long black cardigan that the boys got you since you literally loved cardigans. Especially the long ones. Walking out you saw Namjoon on the couch reading who knows what. “Hey let’s go.” clearing your throat loud enough for him to hear. “Oh okay.” As you guys arrive the other members seemed to be showing up as well. “Y/n!!!” Taehyung ran and picked you up to hug you and embarrassed you pat his back while spinning you. “Yah! Put me down you know I hate being carried.” You did… You really hated it thinking you weighed too much for them so you ended up dropping weight though you still hated being picked up. “But you’re so light!” he said pouting “Anyways… how’ve you been? Why do you have another backpack?” “Oh i’m staying the night here to finish your video and this week we have to reshoot two scenes.” “Yahh paboya Isn’t that too much work since our comeback is next week?” Yoongi was another good friend of yours since he understood you 100% emotionally. “It’s okay sunbae I can get it done if I focus and not get distracted that’s why i’m staying here for four days.” “Aw we wanted to go bowling Saturday but you’re working…” Jungkook was only two years older than you making you the maknae of the group. It boosted his ego tenfold really and you didn’t know why. “We can go some other time oppa.” Also did I mention he loved it when you called him oppa? He loved it knowing that he actually was older than you unlike fans older than him would call him that and he hated it. You on the other hand found it hilarious. “Yah she’s busy with work jungkook-a we shouldn’t even be going out since we have our comeback next week.” Jin and yoongi both scolded the younger one but you couldn’t help but smile. “Yahhh it’s okay to go out without me and plus you should go out and have fun and relax you’ll be busy next week and for the next month and a half or so. It’s okay.” “Are you sure? We’re concerned about you overworking yourself.” Jimin was always concerned about you over doing it with work. “Listen short stuff i’m fine okay i’ll be fine once I finish this i’ll rest okay I promise.” The boys couldn’t help but laugh at you calling jimin short even though he was taller than you slightly. “Yah! I’m taller than you and older!!!” “Yeeees sunbaenim~~!!” As you walked into the building before he would start scolding you. Namjoon stayed in the front talking to boys forgetting he had your stuff. The guys started to head inside for practice before yoongi pulled him to the side. “Hey is y/n okay? She looks exhausted lately and thinner too. I don’t think she’s taking care of herself.” If anyone knew you it was Yoongi and Namjoon. They both worry you being the youngest taking in so much work and them also knowing what it feels like going through their own personal matters. “I don’t know hyung… today she seemed off..” thinking about the picture he saw earlier today. “Why what happened?” Lately yoongi noticed you staying later than usual working on projects that didn’t need to be done until another month. It certainly wasn’t invisible to the naked eye on how tired you looked for the past month and a half but every time a member insisted for you to rest, you’d ignore them and continue to work. It’s been getting worse and out of hand. “There was a picture of her and what I assume her ex and when I asked her she became upset and burned it saying he was a nobody.” “Namjoon... “ putting his hand on his shoulders to help him relax, “ Everyone knows you see her differently, I mean you make it pretty damn obvious and she is either really slow in catching on or she’s afraid to let someone in. She trusts you well us enough but she also shows you her trust towards you differently than towards me. There is obviously something holding her back but her overdoing it with work won’t help her and I know for a fact it’s to distract herself. Even PDnim noticed and is starting to get concerned. She trusts you more since one you’re the only fluent english speaker making her feel somewhat more relaxed. Try to talk to her.” Taking in a deep breath he knew his hyung was right but it wasn’t easy talking to you being so damn stubborn. “Hyung trust me I’ve tried, she’s the most stubborn person i’ve ever met. Way more stubborn than you are and that says a lot but I’ve tried, I really really really have tried. I’m scared she’ll hurt herself.” He sure as hell wasn’t lying about that because every time someone got passed a stubborn wall, good luck getting through the next 50. “Yah it’s okay we’ll talk more about this some other time okay?” Yoongi patted Namjoon back to walk in the building.

You were so focused on you work that you hadn’t realized Namjoon still had your stuff until he walked in. “Oh you had my stuff. Sorry i was working I forgot about it.” “Do you need anything? Food? Anything?” “No i’m okay i’ll call you or yoongi sunbae if i do.” you smiled before you went back to work. He left the room and went to the practice room and the rest of the day was just work.

After a long night the boys left back to their places and Namjoon told the boys he would stay to check up on you. He knocked on the door before entering only to find you sleeping. You looked so peaceful and even though there was some drool he couldn’t help but let out a slight laugh. “Man you really need to let yourself rest.” There was a box of tissues across the table so he grabbed a few to clean you up causing you to move slightly making him become cautious trying not to wake you up but he failed when trying to put a blanket over you. “Hmmm….Joon?” your voice was scratchy and your eyes were squinted trying to figure out what was going on. “Oh sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up. Are you okay?” “Mmm I’m okay just tired….. What time is it?” “It’s almost 11 why?” Rubbing your eyes you take a big sigh and get up leaving him looking at you confused. It’s been about 8 hours of working but technically 5 since you fell asleep. “Let’s go to the convenient store I’m hungry.” Half awake and half asleep walking out with your bag. You didn’t even care how you looked with your messy hair and squinted eyes. “I can order take out if you want? And go to a cafe and get you coffee.” Watching you always eat ramen noodles when working annoyed him and everytime he offered you always said, “No it’s okay joon, it’s close by so I don’t have to walk that far.” There it was, the same sentence making him feel bad. Before he knew it you were already outside going towards the elevator so he caught up. Nope he wasn’t letting you eat another sad bowl of ramen again so he pulled you the opposite way to who knows where. “Yah~ what are you doing the store is that way.” Still trying to wake up but not trying to get out of his grip you being too tired. “Y/n you need to eat a real meal okay not cheap ramen.” Without arguing you let him drag you around. “Ajumma can we have a spicy bulgogi with the dumpling stew!” “Ahhhh Namjoon Ah!! Yes coming right up!” This was your and Namjoon’s favorite place to eat on your days off. After waiting for a while the food came out and it smelled so good you were kind of glad he dragged you here. It took a while for you to convince the ajumah and namjoon that you could eat spicy food and they doubted you but you told them that you were mexican and when they gave you the “spiciest” they had boy were they dumbfounded after you finished barely breaking a sweat. You were sniffling but you weren't dying that you needed milk. You may be a foreigner but you could do spicy food all day every day.

After the meal you thanked the ajumma again. It was already 1:30 into the day and you had to get to work but nope he decided to drag you some more. “Joon i have work to do now isn’t the time~” whining hoping he would comply but didn’t. “Come on y/n you need a break you can go back after the sun rises. Please come on we haven’t hung out in forever since we’ve been busy with work~ pleeeeeease.” “OKAY OKAY OKAY FINE just…. Please stop whining please.” You said burrowing your face into your hand. This boy just didn’t know how to give up didn’t he. Both of you sitting down on a bench looking at the view you couldn’t help but rest your head on his shoulder. He was warm and it felt comfortable you wish- No y/n no stop he’s just a friend. “Hey y/n… can I ask you something?” You looked up at him with a slight smile. “You technically already did.” “You know what I mean.” “Yeah what’s up?” Curious to what the boy had to say you sat up and faced him. “Do you believe in love?” You didn’t expect for such a bold question making you freeze. It was a tough and soft subject for you to talk about and you thought you should tell him how you felt. It was only fair to him. “S-sorry i shouln-” “I do…” looking forward at the river. He seemed shocked that you responded since you normally pushed the subject away. It felt unfair that you had to keep a secret from him because of your fears. So little by little you started to let him in to see if he was worthy of your trust. “I believe in what I fear the most. I believe that it exists yet I don’t know how it feels. It’s scary for me to fall in love so I run away when I feel it approaching me and end up hurting those I love.” He looked at you while you stared out in front of you motionless. It was a bold question to ask but he had to. “Do you feel it approaching you?” Nervous for your answer he mentally prepared himself for rejection. “I do…. But this time, I don’t feel scared. I mean I’m terrified but I have to face it at some point. I can love someone but…. I don’t know how to be in love with someone.” She wanted him to know so badly why she was so fucked up but she was scared he’d leave her. She knew he was a caring person and she knows how he feels but she wants him to tell her when he feels ready and although it’s unsure of what she’ll do, y/n doesn’t want to hurt someone who doesn’t deserve her burden. It’s scares the living hell out of her that she’ll crumble down so hard that nobody would want to put her back together and that’s why she pushes the thought of being “in love” away. “Y/n…. you know I’m here for you right? You don’t have to tell me if you aren’t ready.” You looked at him and gave him a genuine smile.  Reaching out to place your hand on his face he took in the warmth of you palm and closed his eyes. “I’m never going to be 100% ready to tell you Joon. I just don’t want you or any of the boys to see me at my worst. It’s not something to be seen knowing people can walk away. Don’t fall in love with me.... You’ll just be disappointed and leave...” But it was too late for him not to. He’d fallen so hard for you that you were a delicate feather to him and he held you so gently thinking you’d break apart at any moment. He didn’t care anymore whether you push him away because he mentally prepared himself to break those walls you’ve built. Or so he thought….

Okay okay okay so I don’t know if it’s good but feedback would be very helpful I hope you guys like it i’m hella nervous ~.~

[americanauthor]

Glendalough.

Yesterday we finally took the bus tour I had booked for us in June and which I’ve rescheduled three times. It was an afternoon trip to Glendalough, and absolutely worth the price (of 22 euro) if you’re interested in seeing the sites but not seriously hiking or spending more than about seventy minutes there. 

Before you arrive at Glendalough, you’re taken to Lough Tay, or “Guinness Lake”. Which I found absolutely stunning. 

The land and lake are owned by the Guinness family, but contrary to urban legend that is not the water with which Guinness is brewed. 

Off to my left you might see the yellow ropes? There was a hut constructed there with a sign that said “FILM CREW ONLY”. Our driver told us that it was a prop from the show “VIKINGS” and that there is 24 hour security that watches it round the clock. 

Lough Tay is famous for “Vikings”, “Braveheart”, “P.S. I Love You” etc. The Wicklow mountains are just breathtaking and if you have access to car or rental car while visiting Ireland I highly recommend. I booked us the tour as we’re not going to be renting a car any time soon, so it suited us to get out of the city and see some sites in comfort. 

The tour took about five hours, an hour with change each way for the drive and a decent amount of time at actual Glendalough. I wasn’t thrilled when we got there because of the fact there is some semi-serious walking (for older people) to get to the actual lakes, which isn’t detailed in the description. However, I was with the ever optimistic and happy Sam so he did his best to keep spirits high as we trekked in the drizzling yet never ceasing rain. And afterwards I got a tea and scone which was lathered with the most delicious, creamy salty butter. 

This is the only good photo either of us took of the actual lake. At this point we’d walked around the first lake ( “Glendalough” meaning “valley of two lakes”) and spent our energy on way too many pictures of trees. 

When you first arrive, there’s a graveyard and ruins you can explore. Apparently according to my grandmother I have relations in this graveyard. A general wave to the ol’folks and we were off to find the lakes. 

For those of you who have seen the animated Book of Kells movie, this is a round tower -- for the same purpose, to protect illustrated/illuminated manuscripts from the Vikings and/or other invaders. This shot doesn’t show the door, two feet off the ground designed for retreat and escape from invaders. 

And here’s the “New Church” which has reportedly never been restored and dates back more than a few centuries. As Sam said upon seeing it, “built to last”.

When you set off to the lakes, I do recommend the boardwalk path if you have the time, though I chastised Sam for choosing the boardwalk path as it’s 1.6K to the bigger lake and not the 1.4k of the other path. The other path for starters is mostly uphill, which in the rain would not have been ideal. The boardwalk path also takes you around more of the actual “park” or natural areas. 

I’m not a huge nature girl. I do not hike. I like the reward of tea and cake at the end of basically anything, be it a staff meeting, class lecture or nature walk. I’m not picky. But when I’m anywhere with Sam he can usually inspire me to relax and it’s not hard for either of us to get goofy. 

And it really was quite breathtaking. Very quiet and still. 

After attempting to each dry ourselves under the hand dryers in respective restrooms, we shuffled back to the tour bus and home to Dublin. For a bit of fortification and to dry out, we ended up at a pub with a friend and a plate of particularly disgusting “nachos” which we ate none the less, ravenous adventurers we are. 

All in all a very enjoyable day, and the kind that left me googling other day tours this morning...

[dandelliongirl]

Family Christmas

And heaps of snow.

December has been a wild ride. After my JLPT exam I spent a few days celebrating Independence day with mum and relaxing. The last couple of weeks before submitting my thesis were super busy with proofreading and reformulating a lot of my text. It was a tight schedule but I got it all submitted on the 15th - albeit super hastily. I’ve been both relieved and stressed because I’m happy it’s out of my hands for now but I also fear the feedback I’m going to get. I just hope I won’t have to do anything drastic to it. I do aim for the highest possible grade because I got one from my BA thesis and I’ve kind of set up expectations from all the good feedback I’ve gotten during the process. I want it to be worth the effort and the hours spent.

Dance recital came and went. Did not screw up anything, although the sole of my pointe shoe did snap in the last official show on Sunday evening. We had one extra show on Monday and the stage was littered with torn newspaper where I had to do a bunch of really quick pique turns on the shoe with a broken sole. I’ve never feared pirouettes as much as I did then but somehow I managed and didn’t break anything. Basically all size 5½ shoes were out of stock so I’m going to get a text message to schedule a fitting sometime this or next week.

My ballet gals and I had a little pre-Christmas party where we planned a lot of fun variations for next spring. We’re hopefully doing a pas de quatre from The Awakening of Flora, and me and my friend are doing the pizzicato polka. It’s up to our teachers and rehearsal schedules at this point though. We kind of already ordered a test tutu though and we’re super excited. Fingers crossed it’ll work out.

Christmas week was busy with a thorough Christmas cleaning. I cleared our kitchen cupboards from random used batteries, empty bottles and computer parts, organized our tools and office supplies, organized our walk in closet and bedroom closet, did two loads of laundry, cleaned the toilet, washed the floors and aired out all rugs and textiles. It took me three days and was super exhausting but also cathargic. On the 21st me and my friend went to see Star Wars VIII The Last Jedi. I didn’t really like the movie because of all the death and destruction and dark themes although I can totally see why it has been highly acclaimed. It was objectively a good movie but I just wasn’t feeling inspired or happy after it, which totally has more to do with me being oversensitive rather than anything else. I’m used to playing Animal Crossing and avoiding the news, how do you expect me to see so much death, destruction and depression. The original trilogy is so much more playful and because of the physical effects and stage props and tin can droids it’s easy to see it’s a work of fiction. Modern movie tech makes everything hit too close to home I guess.

I’ve been playing literal hundreds of hours of Animal Crossing Pocket Camp this month. I’m level 37 right now and hunting down Fauna to add to my campsite. I just got Marshal invited yesterday and gosh I love him so much. What an ABSOLUTE cutie pie.♥ I just wish the campers would give out more cotton since all rustic, cute and natural themed items require cotton...

I spent 5 total days with mum and dad over the Christmas holidays. We spent Christmas eve traditionally watching TV, going to place candles for my grand aunts’ grave and memorial stone, going to the sauna and eating an amazing dinner prepared by dad. We had a starter of fish and salad, a main of beetroot casserole, pork with a cream and pepper sauce, sweet potato fries, caramellized red onion with carrots, and a desert of crème brûlée with a mulled wine topping. The only thing that broke tradition this year was coming to spend some time with the bunny and letting him roam free for a while.

I got some really cool gifts even though I wasn’t supposed to get anything besides the insanely nice and expensive Clavinova piano. Dad got me a rad shirt with a dabbing unicorn and some really nice bluetooth headphones. Mum got me all the things that I wished for: a book, a big light box with letters and symbols, and a glass drinking bottle. I went to feed my friend’s cat on Christmas day so she got me the Lottie and Kicks amiibos. (Gosh I hope they make Leif and Luna amiibos at some point, they’re some of my fave NPCs right alongside K.K. Slider, Digby, Celeste and Reese&Cyrus. So basically all AC characters are my favourites lol. My fave villagers are Julian, Flurry and Marshal.) Grandpa gave me an adorable indoor thermometer he’s carved and painted himself and grandmum sent me 50€. My guy’s family got me a soup bowl with choclates in it and his grandpa knit me some new wool socks. They also got the bunny some sawdust for his litter and a bag of grass hay.

On Christmas day me, mum and dad went skiing. It’s been snowing like crazy and everything is so beautiful. It’s supposed to rain for a couple of days so I hope it won’t all melt away though. Skiing was so hard but not as hard as I thought it might be. It’ll take a few tries to get back in shape but we did around 5km, which is really good for a first time. Today we went and practically dug our summer house from a pile of snow. We had a little campfire going and we roasted sausages and had coffee/tea over there. I’ve been dreaming about our summer house a lot lately, and in my dreams it has been threatened by a bear, a leopard and a nearby prison. I’m sure it’s something to do with feeling threatened since the summer house is my safe place. Anyway it was really nice to visit and everything looked so pretty covered knee deep in snow.

I miss my boyfriend so much. I found out that he had skyped with his parents on Christmas and so I confronted him about why he hasn’t told me that he has a working video call connection. He told me he forgot, which obviously indicated that either he was lying or he did not want to, which is why it did not cross his mind to talk to me at any point. Eventually I managed to dig out that he’s been really homesick and Christmas was really hard for him. He also said that he isn’t sure if calling me would make him even more homesick. He’s been concerned about how strongly I’ve reacted to his exchange year. I can’t help it that I feel a lot of things and I was genuinely depressed for a month after he left. And I can’t help it that I do miss him a lot. But there is nothing I could do about it right now so I’m managing. And I’m learning how to be alone and how to be left alone. And I’m learning to be stronger and less selfish. In any case it does make me feel a bit easier to know that he is missing home as well. I would want to know that I’m loved and missed as well though, and it does make me really sad to think that he doesn’t necessarily miss me at all or want me back. I don’t know. I just want to feel loved because right now it feels like a really one sided relationship, and I feel like a backup plan or a safety net he’d like to get rid of but is too afraid to rather than too in love to. If it makes any sense? In any case I’m eternally grateful for my friend who’s been spending time with me weekly, and who’s coming to spend New Years with me. A true friend is so needed right now. And a fluffy bunny.

I’m both excited and anxious for 2018. I’m happy to make some resolutions and reflect on a lot of things at the end of 2017. In the New Year I’m definitely going to continue working on doing as I damn well please instead of fitting my schedules to everybody elses. I’m also thinking of travelling and taking advantage of this stage in-between but I don’t know where to go because my guy hasn’t invited to visit him and I’d like to have some company wherever it is that I’d go to. At the same time I’m definitely anxious regarding the big life changes of graduation and job hunting and everything that comes with becoming an actual adult of sorts. I know life will take me where I need to be and I’m a smart and savvy lady with brains and a working etiquette any employer would be happy to have. Still, there’s no-one who wouldn’t feel nervous in my position.

A few more days of 2017 remain and I’m going to enjoy video games, good company and hopefully some more skiing and winter nature. I also need to get the rest of my resolutions in check. It looks like melting New Years tins is going to be difficult as the EU has banned most tins.. We need to come up with a back up plan if we can’t find any leftover packages.

30 more minutes until new ACPC campers. I’m tired but Fauna is almost on level 7 and I’ve almost got the stuff she needs to join my campsite. I’m going to stay up and see if she’s there.