#this started as a vent but ended up as a social commentary lol

[brick-van-dyke]

// Half a vent, half a political thihg

TW: body stuff, gender dysphoria, talk about blood

I feel extremely nauseous and like I'm gonna throw up because of my stupid ass period which only came back because I stopped taking T to save money for a little bit ughhh. Like I'm ok and il survive, I'll be taking T again in January, but still. This sucks and like...

Ok not trying to act like or say "oh no being a trans man is so much harder than being a cis woman blah blah blah" here, but I do just wanna saying having a period as a trans man just really sucks a lot. Not only do we have to deal with a period the same way a cis woman does; feeling sick, digestive system fucking up, the pain and cramps, mess and how it can make you feel really down, etc. but we also can have the whole gender dysphoria side of it as well which can absolutely get worse with the emotional stuff that happens during periods.

I feel very very depressed during my periods already, it's fucks with my already not great mental health and makes me think in darker places than I'd usually, but on top of that?? It makes gender dysphoria all around feel more extreme plus it causes gender dysphoria itself. The the other things about it also can cause gender dysphoria as well, so there's like. 3 added issues that come with my period purely because of gender dysphoria.

This doesn't even over the societal issues and how hard it is to be a trans man with a period when you're out and need to change your pad or tampon. I usually just don't and do it at home since I can luckily get away with that but there are so many trans man who can't do that and it suckks. No wonder so many trans men I know are on birth control, esp if they're pre t/ not planning on taking t.

Overall it just kind of sucks and it highlights, ironically, how different it is to be a trans man rather than a cis woman and is yet another example of how the terf argument "ooh but we have the same body so it's a shared issue" just really doesn't work and actively just erases all these issues and ignores the differences in our struggles; namely that it's just different both literally and socially to be perceived as a man who also had a period and who finds that everything about it causes a secondary, separate type of distress.

[clanoffelidae]

bleh

trying to tell myself that this is the heaviest time of year at work, im very much still recovering from covid, im still hurt by what happened back in early december and having difficulty re-engaging with previous past times because of the associations, and am also currently trying to help a disabled friend get out of his abusive home, find a doctor who can help him, and figure out how he can sustain himself financially long-term in a way that won't make everything worse in the long run by exceeding his limitations; so it's okay that i'm not doing a whole lot of 'fun' things or being super productive, i don't have to be to begin with, but i'm still feeling pretty down at times

i think by and large i'm mostly lonely; while i see people every day at work we're all stressed to hell and back, i retreated from several social circles when the whole deal went down in early december because it was all just constant reminders of what was hurting me (which was absolutely the right call, but the end result was also that, well, now i don't talk to as many people any more :/), and hit me so bad that i really should have gone to the hospital so i've just been too tired to socialize with people both irl and online but unfortunately human brains are stupid and still demand a level of socializing and make you feel bad when you don't get it even when putting in the effort to get it would cause greater overall suffering due to physical and mental stress (i've had like maybe half a spoon since i started feeling really sick around december 22nd-23rd)

i dunno, just externalizing it, if you happen to read this it's probably cause you follow me and so by now you are probably well aware that i do that a lot lol

idk writing in a journal or personal notepad doesn't really help as much, i try to bury these types of posts a lot by not tagging them and putting them under readmores in the hopes that they'll go largely unnoticed, but i need the façade of putting it out there and making it 'public' or else it still circles to an extent; i have to at least be able to pretend i'm saying it to other people to get it out best and unfortunately i haven't been able to cognitive dissonance myself well enough for truly private rambles to help

so like i dunno, if you're reading this don't feel like this is a cry for help or really saying anything, i'm just trying to process how i feel and externalize it in the hopes the bad vibes will ease up a bit

and what sucks even more is that now i feel the need to say that haha; because what hurt me so bad back in december was that two instances of me just posting things on my blog to externalize them, untagged (tagged with commentary but not tagged to be searchable) and hidden under readmores that were just me trying to get negative feelings out in as privately a way as i could while still saying them 'publicly' because my brain is stupid and needs to at least be able to pretend it's being said to other people, were taken and used to call me immature and untrustworthy, i was given no chance to defend myself or even ask questions until i went and tracked someone else down to ask if i could ask questions, no one ever reached out to me and asked about the posts before going ahead and leveling accusations at me (and i know the posts had to go through at least four people's hands and two levels of hierarchy), not once did anyone try to inquire about these non-specific and untagged posts to see if they had the story right, and while during the subsequent conversation one of them was cleared up and apologized for (which i greatly appreciate!) not a single thing was said about the other and the second post had been me venting irrational anxieties about encountering a specific individual who had previously hurt me and when i requested that they (people who used that post to accuse me) not do that to someone again as far as i can tell i was pretty much just brushed off

like if just one person had messaged me and said they were concerned about the posts or wanted to talk to me about them i would've been happy to clear things up right there on the spot

and now i can't even make an anonymous post on my anonymous tumblr blog about the fact that i'm feeling a little down without feeling the need to defend myself for doing so because the last time i did this it was -gestures irritably and exhaustedly to text wall above-

just sucks y'all, idk

at every possible point in that situation i tried to communicate with people when it was clear there was something to communicate about, beyond that i was just externalizing feelings and attempting to make sure they were out of the way and not bothering anyone, you don't get to come in here and demand that i should have taken my vent post about completely irrational anxieties relating to an individual who has harmed me previously to you, complete strangers, instead of just non-specifically venting it and burying it because it's irrational worry and i knew that and was just trying to get it out of my head; especially when you never tried to communicate your concerns to me, as far as i knew we had resolved everything because everything had been cleared up and everyone said it was fine, the sheer hypocrisy and audacity of demanding that i bring my personal trauma and anxiety to complete fucking strangers when said strangers couldn't even be bothered to send me a single damn message related to their own concerns after, again, we had seemingly cleared everything up and everything had been smoothed over because clarifications were made and everyone said it was cool, and then i got taken by complete surprise and felt the damn floor fall away from me after an hour or two once it fully sunk in that the fucking intrusive thoughts i was trying to cope with were used as a weapon against me

like fucking thanks they were already causing me enough difficulty on their own, didn't know they could be weaponized even further, now i know i guess

'but how could anyone have known that-?' maybe if they'd fucking asked me, at literally any point, instead of taking non-specific words from a complete stranger that were not directed at anyone and deciding what they meant in their own heads

but to do a complete tonal whiplash as is my specialty i am well and truly still upset about that and still working on it (emotional processing and recovery was halted by a blast door upon contracting covid wherein i transitioned from fighting a painful emotional situation to fighting for my damn life lol), slowly picking up steam again on working through it and dragging things up back out from where they got hurriedly buried because i had other priorities like trying to continue breathing to sort through them, but as awful as it was the statements of 'i hate that this happened and am extremely hurt by it and am still processing it' and 'if this situation hadn't happened i could've well died or at the very least wound up on a ventilator and with severe lung and probably heart damage from covid so i am simultaneously extremely grateful it happened because i love living and being alive' are not mutually exclusive <3

'lynx what the FUCK do you mean it stopped you from dying or at the very least ending up on a ventilator from covid'

part of the reason the situation was so hard on me was that i had inadvertently entered withdrawal from my adhd meds, an amphetamine, and the situation resulted in that withdrawal going on for much longer than it should have (and may have sort of been the reason it started because i wound up staying up late because i was so excited due to stuff related to the situation before it went to shit and as a result overslept and missed my meds for 2 days in a row and thus started me into withdrawal); it left me struggling to stand and trembling and with a persistent headache and too weak to do much other than stumble to the kitchen for 2 minutes and then stumble back to bed

what this means: i was in severe physical distress due to amphetamine withdrawal BUT i also built up an extra stockpile of the meds i failed to take

i shortly after went up to a higher dose of my meds

i barely had enough to get me through covid

if all of this hadn't happened i would have gone into amphetamine withdrawal from an even HIGHER dose of a medication which left me struggling to stand, extremely weak, and in pain when i went into withdrawal the first time; while being sick with covid that got so severe already that i could feel stuff rattling in my chest with every breath that i was too weak to cough out, i was unable to do more than take extremely shallow breaths because the lower parts of my lungs were gummed up, and i was having to breathe at about 35-40 breaths a minute while lying down resting because if i tried to slow or deepen my breathing at all i would become dizzy from oxygen deprivation

yeah anyway the situation sucks and im still very much working on the emotional hardship it caused and figuring out what to do but on the other hand i am simultaneously extraordinarily grateful for it because whatever benevolent but chaotic entity sets up the rube goldberg machine that is my life (this is NOT the first time something like this has happened, another good example im not going to get into the details of rn is 2 months of extremely painful ear infections saved me from a therapy bill) made sure i wouldn't die or at the very least end up on a ventilator with severe lung and probably heart damage from covid 👍

and ive got that other stuff going on like i mentioned at the beginning but that's way too much an on-going thing for me to have more thoughts than 'hnnng why can't i just kidnap friend' F lol

just venting and then felt it apt to ensure the tonal whiplash of my life hits as many people as possible because if you started reading that upset vent you gotta know what happened a few weeks later because buddy. ah.

anyway living and being alive is great, i have seen the face of death before and while it has left me a much wiser and more peaceful person in the aftermath (honestly i know it doesn't seem like it from my vent posts but that's because i have chronic can't shut up disease but at the end of it all i really only give a shit because i know that what happens to me can happen to others, if this had been something like 'yeah i got attacked by a rabid dog but it was euthanized and im getting treatment for it 's all good' you would've heard way less about it lol, it's because this is a kind of situation that ripples if that makes sense?) i really was laying there christmas night realizing the probability of me not waking up again (which is never 0) had increased by a worryingly large percentage and looking at death who was vibing on top of my chest and making it hard to breathe like '... i'm going to sleep and you better piss off while i'm in dreamland'

(not literally i mean this in a metaphorical sense)

at this rate i'm gonna have to start asking how the kids are lol

mfer's quiet tho like damn okay i'm not worth a reply i'll just go fuck myself then lol

(again, still being metaphorical here; it's one of those things where if you don't get it just let it go and if you get it you get it and also i'm so sorry do you want to talk /srs)

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.4 (Pool Party)

The Actual First Episode

A classic Lizzie Mcguire episode

- For some strange reason, this episode was considered episode #4 and the fourth episode to air even though the production code for this episode is '101′. Meaning that chronologically, this is episode #1 and probably the series pilot. It’s no wonder that all the kids look a lot younger here than in other episodes.

- That being said, let’s begin my episode recap. Lizzie is running through an obstacle course during P.E. class and she’s having a miserable time; I can definitely relate. Side note: Coach Kelly is played by Dot Marie Jones, who also played Coach Beiste on the hit Fox television series, Glee.

- Cartoon Lizzie, who is Lizzie’s conscience gives us a brief commentary on the different social circles in her gym class and she describes herself as someone who doesn’t fit in any category. I can also relate to her in that aspect just because during high school, I didn’t fit into any sort of clique. And that’s fine because having multiple interests and friends from different walks of life was beneficial to me.

Introducing Lizzie’s BFFs and Classmates

This is so pure, I love it

- Babies! They look so young here for real. Miranda is first introduced as Lizzie’s best friend and they basically confide in each others secrets. But more about Miranda later on.

Gordo is so cute but extremely wise for his age

- Lizzie knew Gordo since she was a day out of her mom’s womb. She describes him as “smart, funny, creative and right about everything”. That’s our Gordo for sure.

Kate looks quite different here and it’s not because of the face she’s pulling

- Kate Sanders, as you all know is Lizzie’s frenemy but former best friend because she hit puberty and became popular because of that. I kinda need more info on how that happened. Did the other girls suddenly look up to her? Or did Kate suddenly develop a lot of confidence and a mean attitude to pair?

Danny Kessler was more visible at the start of the series. I wonder what happened?

- I believe Danny was meant to play a larger part in the show; However, his character just kind of faded into the background later on only to be somewhat replaced by Ethan Craft, who is a far better character in my opinion. He serves the purpose of being the hottest boy in school who girls go gaga for and that’s about it really. Danny invites Lizzie and Miranda to a pool party on Saturday and they lose their minds from the invitation. 

The Mcguire Household

Lizzie vs Dad and Matt lol. Jo as referee.

- I found this scene, which introduces us to Lizzie’s parents and brother to be a little chaotic; Lizzie tells her family that she’s been invited by the ‘hunk-in-training’ of the school to a party. We also get mentions of spit-swapping and strip poker as well as her dad thinking she has been kissing Danny and having second thoughts on allowing her to go to this party.

- Well, Lizzie doesn’t have to worry about it because she can’t go either way because her Nana’s 80th birthday party falls on the same day. Lizzie gets mad and storms off. I’m guessing her Nana lives out of town and so, it isn’t possible to go to her birthday party and also come back for Danny’s party on the same day.

Miranda’s Betrayal

- Lizzie vents to Miranda and Gordo about not being able to make it to Danny Kessler’s pool party and because of that, being the best friend Miranda is supposed to be, she tells Lizzie that she too won’t be attending his party either in order to show her support for Lizzie.

Side note: Knowing that this episode was written by Terri Minsky, I made the connection that Gordo’s parents who are shrinks is similar to Andi Mack Cyrus’s parents and step-parents being therapists too.

- Kate approaches Miranda and asks her a favor to ask her mom to draw some fake, temporary tattoos on her and her friends for the upcoming party. Miranda accepts and agrees to hang out with Kate after school, which pretty much means she’s re-attending the party and hence, betraying Lizzie in the process.

Miranda is disliked by most fans because of instances like this

- I honestly cannot be too hard on Miranda because she’s only 13 and everyone at school keeps talking about the pool party. Plus, she has a crush on Danny. So, I can’t fault her for ditching Lizzie but she could have at least asked Kate if Lizzie could come along to her house.

- However, I didn’t like how Lizzie was sitting by herself in the same school bus as Miranda and Kate and Miranda did not bother to ask her to sit with them. Even if Kate isn’t willing to let her, she should definitely stand her ground. Poor Lizzie has to sit with this one kid who proudly picks his nose and flicks it.

“Eww! Ya Nasty!” *in Raven Baxter’s voice

Obligation vs Being Forced to do things

- Jo Mcguire is on the phone talking to someone about trying to get out of volunteering to write for a newsletter. Lizzie overhears this and confronts her mom for being hypocritical as she is forcing Lizzie to attend her Nana’s birthday party whilst she herself is trying to come up with an excuse to get out of doing something else.

- I get what Lizzie means; how is it okay for her mom to make excuses while she can’t? Well, Jo is an adult, so excuses are something that she is able to make and bear the responsibilities that come out of it. Lizzie is still a kid and I believe that her old grandma’s birthday is more important than some middle school party.

Heart to Heart

- After Lizzie confines herself in her room, Jo deploys her husband, Sam to try to get Lizzie to open up by asking him to use a simple yet complicated technique known as the ‘hairbrush routine’, which is making an excuse to look for something in the room and proceed to talk about a neutral topic and only engage with the questioning at hand when she makes eye contact and speaks in full sentences. Lol, that’s a mouthful.

- Luckily, we did get this beautiful moment in the end:

Give me some tissues :(

Gordo is the Man

This is some good acting imo

- Can we first talk about that long stare between Lizzie and Miranda in the hallway when Miranda, Kate and her crew were walking past Lizzie by her locker? Their expressions were so believable; I can almost read the dialog between their faces alone.

- Lizzie complains to Gordo and accuses Miranda for being a hypocrite but Gordo tells Lizzie that she shouldn’t be mad at her because the party was something Miranda really wanted to go to.

- Ughh, it’s hard. The position Miranda was put in is so difficult. It’s either she doesn’t go to the party to show her loyalty or she does go and have the best time of her life but risk having her friend hate her because of it. Either way, I think Lizzie shouldn’t be mad at Miranda regardless. There are plenty more episodes for that in the future.

- Gordo delivers the final blow when he says that he wasn’t even invited to the party and that pretty much cancels out all of Lizzie’s arguments.

Another cute Lizzie x Gordo moment

Lizzie makes up with her Mom and Miranda

- Jo enters Lizzie’s room and tells her that her Nana is going to Las Vegas to play poker and so, Lizzie is free to go to the pool party. What a grandma haha! I’m happy they hugged it out. I don’t like Lizzie being mad at her mom.

- Lizzie decided to skip the party (good for her!) and she and Gordo played in the backyard and made art by dipping a huge piece of cloth in some color dye to create a really cool effect.

- Miranda unexpectedly shows up at Lizzie’s backyard after leaving the pool party and turns out, she had a bad time because Kate’s ankle swelled up from the tattoo and she had to sit with her in the locker room. She also admits being a bad friend to Lizzie for blowing her off.

- Lizzie doesn’t hold any grudge and she and Miranda are back to being besties!

Overall Thoughts

- There was a lot to talk about in this episode from Lizzie’s relationship woes with her best friend to her feeling like her opinions and thoughts are not seen as valid by her family. I do think that for how Lizzie was so upset at Miranda, she kinda forgave her too easily. But I don’t think I would want to see them continue to not be on speaking terms for more than 1 episode.

- I am glad that there was no unnecessary sub-plot involving Matt and Sam in this episode. His story-lines are really a hit or miss to me. I prefer the ones where his relationship with his friends and family are tested as well as when he faced situations that gave him character development. I don’t like the goofy, comic-relief ones like last episode’s cooking fiasco.

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Homecoming

Masterpost

6x02: Homecoming

I really need to knock the rest of these out -- hopefully soon I will! But man, there’s a lot more in season 6 than you might realize.  A lot of these episodes are pretty packed.  

At the beginning of the episode, we get a lot more Blaine-meta-ish things, and the one thing I’d like to pull from it is that Blaine’s getting therapy.  Yup, that’s right, both these boys are getting their heads checked by a professional - and that’s a good thing! Look, I don’t think Kurt and Blaine are going to live a 100% perfect and happy life-  no couple can accomplish that, but the fact that they’re both trying to better themselves is a huge thing, and recognizing that is a step forward in becoming adults (I mean, not even adults make the best choices to better their mental health).  So yeah, they might not patch up things perfectly, but I think there’s a lot of subtext (cause Glee’s always been subtext) that shows they’re both in better places by the time season 6 starts. 

The New Monday Night Dinner

So, because Will is a character again (ug) we start having Monday night dinners at his place (ug, ug).  Okay, it’s not really that - but he’s supposedly having all the show choir directors over for a friendly chat? How convenient that they’re all former students.  And why is Sam there? You know what - I’m not gonna think too hard about this. 

The main thing is that Rachel and Kurt are already having issues being co-directors because it’s Rachel and Kurt. 

And then Blaine arrives and Kurt feels super awkward about it.  I mean how do you act when you’ve dumped the person you love the most in the world and now have to be in a semi-casual social situation with them with your former teacher, former roommate whom your ex once made out with and who will some day carry your child, and former dude whom you both had a crush on.  This show is weird guys.  

Anyway, Kurt’s actually happy to see Blaine - even if Blaine is totally ignoring Kurt’s there.  And then Will turns the conversation to ‘everyone be nice to each other’, which lasts about five seconds when they try to give Blaine some advice about a girl being in the Warblers and Blaine is unsure about it.  It’s awkward.  But hanging out with your ex whom you aren’t actually speaking to at this moment is always gonna be awkward.  

Getting the Gang Back Together

Um, what even is this outfit trying to say, Kurt?  Are you the colorful walking dead? 

Anyway - Rachel and Kurt start their tenure as semi-teachers by organizing sheet music.  And let’s just say it -- they both have the most absurd way of doing it.  Just -- no, genre than artist, that’s it you weirdos.  But of course, Kurt would do it by emotion.  

You know what - say what you will about Kurt and Blaine’s communication -- Rachel and Kurt have by far less communication going on.  They’ve worked for two hours at ‘organization’ before they realized they were doing two different things.  Oh Hummelberry.  

Anyway, we get another argument from them - cause that’s what they do best.  And Kurt basically says what should have been said hours ago - that this is pointless without members.  However, if he’s doing his work study here (don’t ask me to define what exactly his work study is - I don’t get it either), shouldn’t he be proactive, too, in getting kids to sign up?  And what’s with the defeatist attitude Kurt? Kid’s still got issues relating to his break-up.  

(It’s also times like these that I do wish we had gotten a final career related story for Kurt, but alas, all the things we never had). 

Anyway, Kurt storms out as he usually does when having a fight and made his point.  

So - after a scene of Rachel following a disembodied voice to the men’s locker room -- we get Kurt meeting her in the auditorium and, sigh, apologizing for hurting her feelings.  Again.  Cause he’s never done that before.  

I think I’m tired of Hummelberry, guys.  

Anyway - weirdly, he apologizes for the things he said in the previous scene about her life.  Which, um, is weird - cause he didn’t actually take any personal shots at her -- which means they edited out some extra dialogue.  Man, I wish they had left that in - but can’t be too mean to Rachel.  

Anyway - Rachel says, yeah, they have to be proactive in getting people to join us - so she’s pulled in some favors.  Idk why Kurt is so -- who did you bring in Rachel?!?  He could have easily figured it out.  

Well everyone is all the former cast members who are still living and aren’t really part of the main cast anymore.  It’s Homecoming - so it seems fitting.  Though, I have to say.  Everyone looks like they’ve aged about ten years -- which isn’t a bad thing, it just means this little coda of a season would have felt better placed much further in the future.  

Anyway - Kurt’s surprised and happy to see all his old friends.  I have to say though - I miss that Blaine isn’t there.  I know he can’t because plot and the fact they’re trying to reset back to season 2 but still. 

Anyway - who cares if any of this makes sense, we have the gang back together again. 

Go they gather everyone in the choir room and explain that they need help getting the kids to join.  And Kurt’s super frigidity.  Huh.  I think there’s some room to explore Kurt as someone who is an anxious kid with minor OCD tendencies.  Cause that feels very apparent here.  

It’s funny that they rattle on about how much they need their friends to band together and save glee club because the school needs it -- when really, both Rachel and Kurt need it.  I mean, that is kind of the point of this season, but...  it’s just interesting to think about.  I mean, it’ll come full circle when Kurt talks about choosing another path to take at the end of the season.  They both hit rock bottom and now they’re looking for something to fill the space that will help them get back on the right track.  And their cause is saving the glee club.  

Hm.  It’s just interesting that this season of Glee is kind of one last stop in Lima before going out in to the world to really be the person you’re supposed to be.  I’m sorry the story wasn’t developed a tad more (except in the case of Rachel) but that’s what it is.  It’s almost fitting, then that I’m wrapping these up with the same kind of mentality.  It’s nice to have that one last thought and move on.  Anyway -- I’m getting meta on myself, lol... 

So - their brilliant plan is to sing in the school - cause that’s always worked in the past, lol.  And they do an 80s classic - because it’s Glee and the last season and Ryan Murphy has to get in all those hits that he didn’t use yet. 

But I think what stands out to me about this performance is that it’s less about the lyrics (which I don’t think make much sense anyway) and more about the visual style.  They’re recreating the music video, yes, but also adding the same elements of style used in the video -- the whole running from the police (Sue) thing, and it’s really pretty cool.  

You can’t get a really good luck at Kurt’s 80s outfit - but here it is, and this goober is just having a lot of fun dancing on the tables and singing in his high register.  It’s nice that they’ve now fully incorporated Chris’s voice into the group numbers -- especially when he’s not going to be singing much on his own.  

Gay Legacy

So, I guess later that day, Kurt goes to try to recruit the gay football player.  Cause, damn, if Ryan Murphy still is clinging on to his closested football player issues.  I really don’t know why Kurt’s wasting his time -- Spencer obviously doesn’t want to be a part of the team, nor have we seen any indication that he actually has some kind of performing arts talents.  But I suppose this scene is supposed to be a commentary on the current state of the LGBT community.  

Actually, that’s exactly what it’s about and it’s kinda fascinating.  The thing about this conversation is to show just how far things have come from 2009.  Society has become more accepting of the LGBT community (obviously, it’s got a long ways to go - but from when Glee started, a lot of progress has been made).  And we’re now here talking about different types of LGBT people.  Kurt can’t and isn’t the catch all for gay anymore - that definition has widen (even if it’s always been that wide and diverse, we can now, as a society, have that conversation).  And now even gay kids can have various inspiration to pull on - it doesn’t have to be musicals, it can be Modern Family.  And that even though Kurt and Spencer share a preference for men, doesn’t make them any more similar than any other two guys. 

So, yeah, it’s interesting that this scene (and the following one that Kurt’s not in) has less to do with the story and recruitment, as it is Glee’s usual way of knocking down the fourth wall and saying - yeah, okay so we’re not relevant like we used to be, but we did have an impact.  

Meanwhile, in actual story time - we get to remember that Kurt was once on the football team -- and learn that Spencer is an asshole, and I’m still not sure why Kurt’s trying so hard to recruit him. 

Recruitment

Kurt next pops up when Brittany is giving him advice on how to win Blaine back -- which involves burning all his clothes (yes, nude Kurt) but getting normal clothes (um, he’s been dressing ‘normally’ for a while now), and then being honest with him (yes do that!) about being a Barbara Bush impersonator (wtf Brittany?).  Kurt’s equally confused as the rest of us and moves on with his life as he should.  

However - I have to wonder - did they know at this point that Brittany was gonna try to get them back together? I have no idea.  None of Brittany’s actions make sense most of the time, so I shouldn’t think too much about it. 

Meanwhile - the main issue is that they’ve all failed to recruit members - mostly because none of them really know what they hell they’re doing.  But then Roderick’s magical voice floats through the vents (sure) and they’re all mystified and run to go find him.  

They find Roderick in the library - and why do they all look terrifying in this scene?  Come join the cult - Roderick, lol.  Anyway - they get a new member.  

And I’ll take a second and talk about the season 6 newbies - who are actually pretty interesting.  They aren’t cut from the same cloth of the originals as the season 4 newbies, their story lines all converge with existing characters, and we’re not forced to sit through any awkward love triangles.  They served a function and it worked, too bad this didn’t happen way back in season 4 - the show might have lasted longer. 

And then we get a long speech about what it is to be in glee.  Cause apparently we needed that reminder.  Kurt doesn’t say anything but nod in the background as other people give speeches.  Ah yes, we’re back in season 1 again aren’t we. 

Roderick auditions for Glee -- cause tradition - and Kurt... doesn’t really do anything.  But he’s there looking pretty so... 

First Meeting

So, ha, okay.  Roderick is their only recruit and he shows up and Kurt has this nice speech about how you can’t go back again, but maybe you can make something new and better out of the ashes of the old thing.  And I think that’s kind of cool -- because it’s not just about glee or his career, but about his relationship with Blaine.  Like I said earlier, even though they’re all home again, the point is to go in a, god help me, new direction -- one that’s better than before, and as we’re coming to the ending of the show, I kind of like that there’s a sentiment that says - yeah you can and are allowed to start over and do things again.  Second chances are a thing. 

However, they’re stopped quickly because Blaine comes in, screaming about how Jane was poached by Rachel and will now be in New Directions instead of the Warblers.  Blaine, who is clearly still angry (and very confused about his emotions) at Kurt blames Kurt for making it all happen -- which is ridiculous, but c’mon Kurt, Blaine’s allowed to have some residual issues.  Kurt even tries to say that it’s fine because the Warblers have a lot of people and New Directions don’t - but Blaine’s pushing back.  Which is actually a good thing, tbh, even if he is a little off the handle here.  Blaine’s no longer going to be a doormat - and that works much better for the balance of he and Kurt in the long run.  

Kurt and Blaine are on their way to being on equal footing again, but here there’s still a lot of pain that hasn’t been healed yet.  Subtext!! 

Homecoming

Alright, so official glee club has started! And they get two more members as the weird cheerleader twins join.  And it’s all happiness and joy as this new/final chapter has officially begun. 

And then we get the final number - Home - where Kurt gets to sing in his lovely lower register.  :D  And the Homecoming celebration officially starts.  It’s a little weird to see the kids doing something so high school normal, lol, but hey it’s a fun time to celebrate.  

So, um, Kurt, Sam, and Artie go spy on Spencer because -- tradition? I mean, that’s one of the themes of episode.  Let’s go with tradition. 

Anyway, being back is actually kinda bittersweet for Kurt because being back home means that there are still a lot of unresolved issues from the past to deal with. 

Blaine and Karofsky are there - and Blaine is intentionally not looking at Kurt, as Kurt looks like he’s been stabbed in the heart watching from afar.  The song plays on - Home is when I’m with you.  Well, Rachel and Mercedes and McKinley is home, but there’s a bit ‘home’ that’s missing in Kurt’s heart.  We’re gonna get there - but we do have a little ways to go. ;) 

[valeriemperez]

Whenever Candice posts poignant quotes and messages, people get worried, which I guess is understandable, but around this time last year she was doing the same, and on a insta live she said that she just posts things like that because she finds the message important, but that it’s not about her, as she is really happy and confident. In fact, from interviews and cons, she and Jessica both seem the most excited about this season. And she has never shown any intention of leaving.

That sounds about right. I mean, the thing is that we haven’t heard much from Candice lately - and that always makes us jumpy. But we will know in a few days whether things are shaping up well for Iris this season or not.

I'm kinda worried about Iris' screentime this season, these past few weeks CP seems to be going back to LA or wherever and not even on Fridays and by Monday, she's not even back sometimes. The 100th episode seems to be Iris-lite, I guess I'm worried they're using the Iris/Nora tension as an excuse for the reduced screentime while we're getting idk how many Nora/Barry scenes and I don't like it.

I totally understand that fear, but it is something we’ve seen in the past. We thought Iris was in a lot less of certain episodes than she ended up being. For the 100th episode, right off the bat it’s clear that she won’t be doing stunts or fight scenes there. But that doesn’t mean she couldn’t have gotten some meaty scenes in for the 4 days out of 8 that she was filming.

It doesn’t make sense to me that they would reduce Iris/Candice’s screentime or importance in this of all seasons, because in that case they could just not create any tension and just use the excuse of Iris “working” to have her be offscreen. That’s what they did in 2A, after all. But until we see the episodes for ourselves, I understand that we worry the producers are irrational and don’t know how to write, lol.

I’m in a bad place with Flash fandom rn. To a point that I dread seeing fan commentary and content. The negativity, constant judgement, gossip, in-fighting, racism, misogyny, superiority complexes, and trolls have just ruined it for me. I hate that because I still love Flash. Sometimes I wish I never joined the fandom. Part of me wants to go, but I can’t do it because then they win. I can’t let them scare me off. IDK where to go from here. Thank you for letting me vent.

I’m so sorry to hear that, and I totally understand what you mean. At this point, I think your best option (and mine) is merely to watch the episodes or read the interviews without looking at any comments. Drop off your love for the show, Iris, Westallen, whatever you like - and then go do something else that makes you happy. 

There’s definitely others out there who feel like you and who want a positive space to squee, so maybe put out a tweet or whatever SM platform you use to ask about starting a new groupchat that will suit what you and others you know would like?

It’s the SBs and antis that talk about GG hating CP. It’s to make them feel better about their faves. CP fans don’t talk about hate, just his passive behavior in certain situations. I’ve seen fans complain about him not promoting the show on SM but by the look of it he’s not promoting any other project, just that skateboard deal (I consider his wedding/fiancé a project given how much he promoted the RL on SM and in the media). Unless I missed it he’s not promoting his NYC show either.

I would argue that this is a bit of semantics, but I am sure that he will promote the show more A) once it premieres this week, and B) once his wedding prep and celebrations are done.

Why does 50% of the fandom think Grant hates Candice and the other 50% thinks he’s having an affair with her?

Because people interpret the same data through different filters, lol, and it’s easy to come to any conclusion you want when you don’t have more than 5% of the facts.

I hate to bring up fandom gossip but I keep seeing people talk about this, and you’re one of the more rational people in this fandom and I like reading your thoughts, so: what are your thoughts on Grant and Candice’s social media interactions, or lack there-of?

Social media is in no way an indicator of real-life relationships or interactions. You would probably have no idea who my best friends are based on my SM platforms. I know we’re used to casts who act like a big happy family online no matter what and always feed their fans, but the majority of The Flash cast isn’t like that and hasn’t been for 5 years. 

I think that G&C may be more private with their dynamic than they are with some others, but I also don’t think it’s a huge outlier compared to how they are with (for example) Carlos and vice versa.