#this specific moment is so important to me bc it must have been such a breaking point in their relationship

[lunarriviera]

under the skin meta: The Monologue™ (part 1)

[spoilers for s2 in general and ep 20 in specific—which, trust me, you really don't want to watch out of order. it's worth waiting for this one.]

if you’ve seen The Monologue, you understand. this is why tan jianci fans are somewhere on a spectrum from chronically bitter to unendingly distraught about never not yet getting to see him play gu yun in sha po lang/winner is king. if uts were a north american prestige drama, tjc would have just handily won an emmy. as it is he’ll probably just be in a bunch of romcoms and do more goofy stuff on hi6, and that’s fine too. i guess we’ll always have “wet the bed.”

where was i oh right The Monologue. this will be long but it’s possibly the most glorious moment in this entire drama so here we go.

to build up to it, tho, we need backstory: namely, season two's gradual unraveling of shen yi. we know he can’t sleep well and has ghastly nightmares about a little girl he didn’t save, mostly because he didn’t consciously know she was in any danger. in her red dress, like the little girl in schindler’s list, she stands out, tragic amidst the desaturation, and shen yi makes a variety of horrified faces about having failed her. (horrified faces seem to be his main ones this season, which is partly what makes The Monologue so exciting.)

anyway shen yi has already been pretty thoroughly harrowed by this particular case as it is, having been the one to figure out (of course) the serial murderer’s ritualistic pattern and motive. shen yi turns his most Horrified Face to du cheng to warn him that the next victim's in danger, and they have this exchange, which will be important later.

(what du cheng says is 别担心, which also gets translated as "rest assured"—like, don't let your heart be uneasy. i got this.)

so du cheng takes off to save the victim, and shen yi goes back to his office to do…actually, what does he think he’s going to do? some paperwork, a little light filing, maybe sharpen some pencils? instead he predictably goes into a glass-shattering fugue state, and imagines the little girl. this begins the monologue scene, even though it all takes place in shen yi’s head. pls indulge me by watching it again, bc i assume you’ve already seen it anyway, and my god it’s such a gorgeous piece of face journey that ALSO sets up what’s to follow.

in some ways this compressed little piece is even better than what comes after. the way he FLIES to her and FALLS to his knees, just rushes up to her stammering and devastated and PROMISING he'll save her this time. honestly it destroyed me, i watched it like 5 times in a row before i could even move on. the unheld-back generosity of this brief performance, the way he’s completely focused on her and then just FALLS APART, it snapped my heart like a carrot stick.

me, a fangirl: SHEN YI SHEN YI NO BB NO PLS SOMEONE HELP HIM me, film nerd: huh fascinating never seen an actor's lips shake before

so now he understands what he needs to do. what he MUST do. having had this revelation, shen yi shows up at the killer’s door, creepy-smiling at him and barging inside. and then he delivers The Monologue, ten solid nearly-uncut minutes of sheer batshit insanity.

shen yi rants. he raves. he paces and pivots and gestures, he thinks aloud, he surmises and expostulates and revises and reverses and exclaims and delivers each conclusion with rabid glee. he scowls and shouts and is sinister and grins and is just one thousand fucking percent unhinged.

we have never, ever seen shen yi like this before, and thank god, because he would scare people on the regular, and he’s scary enough as it is. why do you think he wears all those baggy pastels and smiles so sweetly. why do you think he tries to pass as an unassuming twink, it’s because if people knew what was really going on inside his head half the time, they’d be screaming crying passing out. (tho the beauty of shen yi is: he also really is just an unassuming twink.)

anyway there i was, like a bonehead, stupidly trying to screenrecord this scene before i realized it would be like fifty gig of fire emoji, and then my hands fell limply at my sides, bc it dawned on me what was actually happening. sort of like that moment in “free churro” when you realize bojack horseman really is going to keep giving this heartbreaking eulogy for the length of the entire episode.

because The Monologue is virtuoso. it's tour de force. this is the kind of thing they play at the oscars during your "in memoriam" clip reel. this is what undergrads copy for their audition pieces. this is some heath ledger shit. it's jack nicholson in the shining, al pacino in scarface. this is about one inch away from brando.

as a result of all this, shen yi has the serial killer (whose name is ge yutian by the way) eating out of his goddamn hand within like half a minute, absolutely spellbound—which is the entire point. if shen yi doesn’t convince him, all of this glorious sorcery is for nothing.

(the guy who plays ge yutian is good too, a perfect scene partner for this. he picks up every cue and lets tjc have all the room he needs.)

just a few more notes on the performance, both tjc's and shen yi's:

1. where it really goes off the rails is when shen yi shrieks, DAMN POLICE! and ge yutian JUMPS in alarm. this not only made me laugh (him being so bonkers that he actually frightens a serial murderer!) but is also the moment when The Monologue stops being "aw haha such a fun thing for an actor to get to do" and “…jesus christ what the fuck am i watching." look how i couldn't even get a non-potato screencap. it's from this point on that shen yi is possessed.

2. because he has to show that he identifies with ge yutian, that the killer can and should trust him because they think alike. but that’s just the old “FBI profiler eventually becomes his prey” cliché, so there’s more to it. he also has to convince ge yutian that his ideas, shen yi's, are ge yutian's ideas, from the inside out—and therefore he's the right candidate for the sheng role. and finally, that it's precisely his ability to act, to be a strong performer, that makes him the right choice. that it’s shen yi who’s most suitable, thanks to his convincing mimesis of ge yutian’s highly suspect “thought process."

3. to really pull this off, even as shen yi builds him up (cf. ge yutian clapping enthusiastically, enthralled by this flattering vision), he also has to tear him down. so he plays two roles at once: ge yutian and an unknown theatre critic—who’s also shen yi, because he’s still the righteous officer of the People’s Police, here to inform ge yutian that his vision is sick and twisted, and not anything his gentle-hearted lover would have wanted, not her way of being in the world.

4. finally i would argue that shen yi's admittedly shaky s2 state here suddenly seems a lot more bolted-on. a few viewers have worriedly described The Monologue almost as some kind of psychotic break but honestly i read it as so very controlled and so very deliberate. while he’s desperate (must save victim this time. must not fuck it up again.) he’s not deranged. he absolutely knows what he’s doing.

i'm sorry to say part 2 will follow. but to conclude for now:

• actors are witches. • 16:9 can no longer contain tjc’s talent this man needs 1.85:1 • you hardly ever get to see someone just NAIL IT TO THE WALL like this, what a time to be alive • (and these were long takes too. there wasn't that much cutting. that was all him.) • pls watch under the skin for some unexpectedly fine acting as well as ofc crime drama, ensemble comedy, weird art historical facts, and captain du cheng (jin shijia), who alternates between being a giant goofball and an aloof occasionally scary badass. also they’re in love.

[literallyjusttoa]

Headcanon based on something I just drew.

When Apollo is annoyed he rants, when he’s angry he yells, but when he’s truly furious, he’s completely silent.

Many a mortal have died to nothing more than the sound of an arrow being let loose. In his rage, Apollo deemed their lives, and their deaths, unworthy of his voice. No requiem for the wicked.

[imissivan]

so i think in every universe that’s not the present one, ivantill is requited openly and goofy and sometimes still repressed and bad at communicating, but however long it takes, they find each other. but i have to admit. what they’ve gone through — the lack of freedom, happiness, the total lack of human social networks, not even not being raised by humans but the total absence in their lives of humans who connect with humans AS HUMANS — rather than as human pets — it prevents ivan and till AND mizi and sua from forming relationships like we think of them. yknow? mizi and sua are much more open about their regard for each other, because of mizi’s unique character and situation, the level of innocence she’s able to retain. but the rest of them know what’s going on. the pain of that existence stunts what possibilities are available to them. in that environment, they do what they must to survive — which means ivan keeping his feelings under tight control and accepting his fate to yearn and never have; till deeply, deeply repressing whatever he feels for ivan bc mizi represents innocence and a hope for a joyful, free life that has been denied to all of them; sua not connecting with anyone besides mizi, marching to her death without consulting mizi bc it’s all she can think to offer. the circumstances of this universe are such that it’s nearly impossible for healthy or full human relationships to form. for children destined for alien stage — for whom growing old is already a distant dream, much less growing old with someone they love by their side — it’s even less likely. this is also what makes these relationships that DO form despite the circumstances so damn powerful and compelling — the time mizi and sua get to share (mizi crying with frustration when they drift apart when they’re so little) — the stability that ivan and till’s bond provides, even if it is volatile and characterized by miscommunications and misunderstandings. for me, with ivantill, it’s key that it’s NOT totally unrequited — the feelings till has for ivan are confused and unexamined, but like, i don’t blame till for that! he’s got plenty to worry about already, and the circumstances of the garden also exacerbate ivan’s struggles to communicate and understand his feelings properly, too. loving gently and warmly and out in the open like mizi does does not come naturally or at all to ivan in this world! and that adds barriers between ivan and till. but they still care for each other so much — till does look back, there are moments of tenderness, of ivan being different for till than other ppl, of till treating ivan differently, which along w the narrative structure and their relationship paralleling mizi and sua’s and so on, express a deep regard for ivan that goes mostly unexpressed / is made difficult by their situation.

but then!!! you look at the goddamn AUs and shit!!!! and one, look at ivan’s character — outside of the trauma of alien stage, he’s so much more open and soft and loving! to till, specifically — able to get his attention and form a relationship not just based on proximity or thru antagonizing him. that’s very important, in my eyes, to making ivantill work. it’s something ivan can’t do in alien stage, that kind of open expressive love, but if he could, i think it would present him as a viable option for love in till’s eyes (as much as such a thing can exist in that world). like at the bare minimum, till would KNOW — whether ivan confesses or not — that ivan loves him, be more aware or sure of that. ivan can express affection or admiration for till in the open, at times when till’s not asleep or distracted or whatever.

second, till is also different! mizi is not the only source of warmth and happiness in an otherwise bleak and deeply painful, abusive life. without those incredibly challenging circumstances forcing till into survival mode, he has more options for how he can imagine his life, relationships, and express himself. he doesn’t have to put his whole being into loving the one person who expresses warm love as a survival mechanism to keep inspiring himslf to live. instead, he can observe and better understand ivan. and ivan is also less difficult to understand, himself better at expressing himself. with fewer thorny barriers between the two complicating their attitudes towards one another, the two can be friends, best friends, without complication — and thus also more. and i feel like i can’t ever stop thinking about the biggest barrier to their relationship in the alien stage world, the lack of examples of loving human relationships. how do you know what it means to love someone, if you have never seen it? never felt it? i think about this on a queer level, too — took me forever to figure out that i DO feel certain kinds of attraction differently towards different kinds of people, that i do feel it at all, bc at first, i only had 1 narrow example of what romantic or sexual attraction could be. without examples of other possibilities, it never occurred to me that what i was feeling counted. and that’s still with and understanding of any concept of love or romantic relationship!! poor ivan and till are out there fuckin tryna invent human social networks from scratch, RIP

this has been such a long stream of consciousness thinking about these guys so i just want to mention one final thing.

THE GODDAMN ACTOR AU.

they can be platonic OF COURSE. but the depth of emotion and their bond and everything in the other universes — to me, actor AU is the healthiest and easiest and sweetest universe in which the two of them get together. they’re not in each others lives from childhood, and it works in their favor acrually — they’re both fully realized humans, who have lots of chemistry, who deeply admire each others abilities, have similar interests — if we can bring the knowledge of their dynamic and the depth of their bond from the alien stage world to consider what they’d be like together in the actor AU, like 🥹🥹🥺🥺🥺🥺. an open and confident and loving ivan. a mature and expressive and affectionate till. they’re at their best in actor AU, and it’s that AU that really settled my brain into “shipping these two forever and ever” mode. because it can’t happen in their original universe — not without huge changes and a lot of time, like even if they both escaped with their lives, they would need time to heal and grow into their own people before they could really have a health relationship. but in actor AU 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 what they have and can have in actor AU 🥺🥺🥺🥺 gives us a glimpse at what they could be, if they got that time, if they got that chance. what they can be in every other universe, whenever they get that chance. AHHHHH i just love them so freaking much

[anxious-witch]

I would like to talk about Edwin, Charles and asexuality for a moment and why I personally like hcing Charles under the ace umbrella rather than Edwin.

To preface, this is obviously just my opinion, and if you like ace Edwin, relate to him or hc him as such, totally valid! I am just basing this off some of the narrative purpose that Edwin's sexuality plays in, and how in parallel, Charles' seems to fit into the flavor of ace-spec I am more familiar with.

Splitting this into two part bc again, I cannot seem to stop talking. This part talks about why I don't see Edwin as ace, part two will talk about why I can see Charles being ace/on the ace spectrum.

Edit: here's part two

Anyway! To the actual reasoning.

Let's start with Edwin. First thing we need to remember about Edwin is that he was born and raised in 1900s, and so that some of his behavior, habits and the way he talks about sexuality can't be judged by modern standards. Plus ofc, added layer of trauma of decades of hell.

So his dislike for being touched, his inital reaction to being flirted with etc, can all be contributed to that, imo.

But let's look at why I think it's important for his character specifically to experience sexual attraction.

Given his upbringing, and growing up with what was likely lots and lots of shame and repression around being a gay man, Edwin seems to completely block out any sort of feelings or wants he might have around other men. (Which is why he didn't realize he was in Charles until he was forced into situations) With his added trauma from hell, in which we know he, at least for a time, believe he deserved it because of being gay, I think it makes perfect sense he didn't wanna acknowledge any of it.

The first hurdle in his path was, of course, the Cat King. Now, you can love him, you can hate him, but I hope we can all agree that what Edwin experiences around him is sexual attraction. I touched upon that in my analysis of their interactions and how symbolic it is for Edwin's sexuality so I will try to keep this short. The way Edwin gasps and looks at the Cat King up and down when he transforms into just a coat and underwear, the way he recalls their meeting with the focus on the wink, on the CT's abs, the way he stares at his lips at their second meeting in ep 4. I don't think Edwin has feelings for the CT, except for maybe last ep where we can see a crush forming, but before that? That looks to me like pure sexual attraction.

It doesn't translate just to the Cat King either! We see it when CT transforms into Charles. Edwin is stunned, yes, but I think him pulling away and saying "Stop it!" Very sharply when he realizes it's a game is very telling. Sure, having romantic feelings for your best friend isn't easy to accept, but to realize you want him, in a sexual way, for even a few seconds? That must have been devastating for Edwin, due to him thinking of such desires as shameful.

Which I think is supported again when Edwin is caught by Lust in Hell, falling back into his shame, and Charles pulls him out. Because experiencing lust towards another man isn't a sin, but Edwin thinking it is is what briefly gets him stuck.

I am also not very keen on making Edwin ace due to the implication of "oh, Charles could pull him out of Lust because Edwin's love for him is pure and not lustful" because well. Being gay is no more pure or no more sinful than being straight. Gay people can have sex and it's not more morally wrong than a gay-ace couple that does not. With the rise of purity culture I feel a bit...uncomfortable with the implication of Edwin only coming to terms with his sexualityis due to the fact he only likes men romantically and there is no "sinful' sexual part. I think it kind of...defeats the purpose of his arc, especially the part where he meets the Cat King in the alley and the Cat King holds no power over him due to the fact Edwin is finally at peace with wanting him. Because that's okay. He can be attracted to him, be fine with it and not let it go any further(for now at least, hence idk what they are gonna do with s2).

So yeah. Again, not faulting anyone for any hcs or fics, if you like Edwin as ace, totally do your thing, I just feel like Charles is right there, with much more interesting dynamic when we apply ace lenses to him. But more about that in part 2

[dano-or-not]

you said you were running out of things to say about mob psycho, so i wanted to ask your opinion on the parallels between toichiro and mob (but not the ones everyone talks about, like how mob could've turn like toichiro if his life was different and stuff like that), specifically the parallel of how their two battles ended.

in s2, their battle ended with mob saying that leaving toichiro to suffer alone would be too sad, not matter how much he dislikes him, so he decided he is going to help him. and he does that by absorbing a lot of toichiros energy before it explodes, which ultimately saves his life.

now, in s3, ???% was about to deal a final blow to shou and toichiro, only to stop because of how hard mob was trying to contain himself, so toichiro announces he is going to stop ???% by absorbing his energy, the exactly same thing he did for him, the only thing only the two of them could do. shou objects, and before toichiro could go through, he realizes that in the end, what he's doing now is no different from what he always did, run away from his family, so he ultimately decides to run away with shou, leaving mob there desperately trying to stop himself.

i barely see anyone talking about those two scenes, but they've been on my mind forever for so many reasons.

how both of them made their decisions and they aren't right or wrong, they're choices, choices made by them because they are the ones in charge of their own lifes, it was mob's choice to stay there and help him, just like toichiro deciding to run away was his

there's also the fact toichiro says to mob that he's not as strong as him before leaving, which on a surface level seems to be about his strength, but i see that dialogue as him saying hes not strong enough to be willing to sacrifice himself despite all that he might lose, and that makes me crazy!

there's a lot more, like how desperate mob must have felt, we see in s2 mob in his room pondering if someone would stop him if he went out of control. and at that moment, with toichiro walking away, it must have felt like it was over, he had already told teru before to hit him with all he had, to stop mob, but he couldnt, and with suzuki leaving, i imagine how he felt

im soso sorry for the long ask, i don't even know if anything i said made any sense, i have a lot of difficulty putting my thoughts into words, and that gets 10 times worse because of my terrible english lol, i just saw your post about not having any new ideas and it gave me courage to try and send something, im usually very embarrassed bc i always feel like im saying sum wrong LOL, but your blog is my favourite on tumblr and your works are absolutely amazing so im glad to be sending you something, much love

Hello fifth anon!!

And thank you for helping me with post ideas, it's nice and appreciated!

You're so right about the mix of similarities between Toichiro and Mob's face offs in season 2 and season 3! I totally agree; neither of the decisions they made were perfect. Was it good that Mob was going to sacrifice himself? No. Was it good that Toichiro ran away from Mob at ???%? No. But was it good that Mob refused to abandon his morals and continued to show unyielding compassion? Yes. Was it good that Toichiro finally made a choice for his family rather than himself? Yes. Just like you said, their choices were just choices, and luckily happened to be ones that worked out.

As for Mob's point of view in season 3, yeah that must have been rough. At that point Toichiro seemed to be the only person who could stop Mob, and he walked away (for good reason). Even though Mob wanted him to run, it still had to have felt like defeat.

Toichiro did the exact opposite of what Mob did in season 2 when placed in an identical situation, and I think that did an excellent job of wrapping up Toichiro's character arc. He's finally taking care of what's most important to him and acknowledging that he isn't the best by saying how Mob is stronger in terms of both power, empathy, and preparedness to self-sacrifice for others.

There were two choices for Toichiro to make and they were equally bad. As the viewer of course we want Mob to be saved as fast as possible, but can you really blame Toichiro? Sometimes you help people who won't be able to repay you, but that doesn't mean they didn't deserve it.

But Mob Psycho 100 is also a story meant to convey a message, so certain things have to happen in a certain way. In season 2 Toichiro had to learn the importance of being there for people no matter what, and in season 3 Mob had to learn to be there for himself. They taught each other those lessons.

So all in all, I agree with your points and think you were really spot on! I'm glad you had the courage, the longer the ask the more interesting things I get to delve into! And don't worry about ever being wrong, I don't think you can ever really be wrong about story interpretation; if an idea resonates with you then it's right, that's all there is to it :)

And your favorite blog!? That's so cool, thank you so much!!!! :) I definitely had a mini-freak out of joy hearing that lol. I'm glad you enjoy my posts and fics! I'm very honored.

[cupcakefoggy]

So I was rewatching the 2009 Superbowl Halftime Show with Bruce Springsteen, because I live the party life, and exactly 30 seconds in I was already crying because Bruce Springsteen and Clarence Clemons are truly BFF goals and it never fails to make me tear up at how absolutely Soft these two were for each other.

For non-music nerds, a quick backstory: Bruce and Clarence met while Bruce was working on his very first Big Deal album, Greetings from Asbury Park, which for anyone who's paying attention means Clarence was with Bruce pretty much from the literal beginning. Put it simply: if there's a sax riff on a Springsteen album that has you cooing in delight, it's Clarence Clemons. It was so important, this meeting of the musical minds, that Bruce immortalized it in "Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out." Truly, these two go together like peanut butter and chocolate. They are the Reese's Cup of classic rock.

But see, it's better than that, bc not only are they both great musicians on their own that created actual perfection when they joined together, but they're also perhaps the most delightful example of non-toxic masculine friendship that the 80s had to offer.

Look up videos on YouTube of Bruce Springsteen performing in the 1980s. Specifically, look up his performance of the famous "Detroit Medley." I would bet actual money that at least a couple of the videos you find of this performance, come to a point where Bruce, like it's the most natural thing in the world, spares a moment from rocking out to casually peck his saxophonist/bestie on the lips. Why? Because they're best pals and hell with anyone who cares, that's why.

Keep in mind, babes, this is the EIGHTIES. This is the poster era for homophobia. Clearly, someone forgot to tell Bruce Springsteen, because the man is 100% out of damns to give. This man is secure in his identity and could give half a shit if someone sees him being Soft with his BFF. He knows he's a ladies' man and who the hell cares if some doink thinks otherwise?

It should tell y'all something that the first time I saw a guy kiss another guy, it wasn't some steamy clip from Rocky Horror or Y tu Mama Tambien. No. Just a couple of bros onstage taking a quick moment to share some casual affection before continuing with a kickass rock show.

The stills above from the 2009 Superbowl show never fail to melt me into a puddle. These two goofballs have been together since 1971, but before they start the set, Bruce still takes a second to reach back and grab his friend's hand. It's just a soft little "are you there buddy? just wanted to make sure..." and it's so damn cute it makes me cry. Every time. I can't imagine what it must be like to be friends with someone for forty years. Can't imagine what it's like to know each other better than you know yourselves. Can't imagine being about to play on live TV for billions of people and still reach back to squeeze your friend's hand, like a couple of kids nervous to start their first day of school.

Clarence Clemons died in 2011. I wonder if sometimes Bruce still reaches back to squeeze a hand that isn't physically there. I wonder if at every show, a ghost in a leather jacket with a sax slung over one shoulder waits in the wings, and reaches out to squeeze back.

[mousemannation]

saw the post where you said any new fans will now be experiencing a post-fedal world

…i just got interested in tennis through Roger’s letter

can’t believe I will have to live in the post fedal time. well. there’s always sincatraz.

(technically speaking I got interested in tennis through an f1/tennis crossover fic with Oscar piastri and jannik sinner, but I digress)

(also just for funsies where should i start + recommended favourite players?)

roger's gay ass letter bringing in new fans as it should be!!! welcome!!!!! we might be in a post-fedal world officially but they have been and will continue to haunt the narrative forever this cannot be changed. modern tennis would not be the way it is without them, both the actual game AND the fandom. even the sincaraz narrative is perpetually haunted by the spectre of fedal.

(shoutout to the janscar agenda shfbsh im glad thats also bringing new fans in)

im honoured someone would trust me to give any sort of coherent recommendation on where to start with tennis,, if ur completely new then it's always worth looking into the archive, and i mean on theme u can't go wrong with 2008 wimbledon final THE fedal match. i actually have a playlist on yt of fedal moments here that has a lot of the important matches

i could name so many matches really, theres a fuckass amount of tennis ksjrhgsrkfhj i mean again on theme with rafa both ao22 and rg22 were crazy, the whole tournament but also the finals specifically.

for wta i have a post where i asked people to tell me their must watch matches here which is good place to start.

as for players well this is mouse man nation so legally i have to say alex de minaur and daniil medvedev. u already know sincaraz. wta i like naomi osaka, daria kasatkina, iga swiatek, coco gauff... i won't start naming every player i like bc we will be for all of eternity srjfsrkfh

theres a LOT of players and there's a LOT of footage out there so u can also always scroll the youtube pages like atptour, WTA, tennischannel, tennistv and see what piques ur interest! like all the matches ive mentioned will have highlights on youtube!

[hiemaldesirae]

Swap AU:

Val wasn't too slow, he didn't come at all to Vox's distress call. He thought Vox could handle it. He spends the first 4 years as Alastor's thrall dead, as do most of the soul that Val owns. (Angel included.) Killing Valentino and the souls he owns gets old, however and sinners are getting tired of the same old pornos, so Valentino gets to go back to work, but thanks to their multiple horrible deaths, Valentino and his contracted souls are alot closer. They even have a discord server dedicated to bitching about Alastor. Now that Vox is back, they've added a sever dedicated to getting pictures of Vox for Valentino so they all don't die horrible deaths--and also, Valentino rewards everyone with every new picture with a raise of 50 dollars, so it's nice incentive.

Alastor on the other hand beside killing Valentino and his contracted souls for the first 4 years, made a shrine with Vox's heads--except for the very first one. That one he slept with. That one remain's in his (formerly Vox's) bed everyday, waiting for Alastor's return everynight so he can curl around it and murmur the words he never got to say to his beloved Vox one last time.

When Vox returns, Sir Pentious joins the hotel because Vox has always been his favorite of his favorite of the Vees, and if he's joined another Overlord and started something else, the Sir Pentious will try it out!

Angel Dust is there because he doesn't want to go through the absolute HELL the first 4 years under Alastor was, he wants no repeats. No one Valentino included DOES!

Husker actually loves working with Vox, and loves sending smirks at the very pissed off shadow Alastor (not knowing Alastor is watching from the Shadow's eyes.) and the side hugs, the cuddles, Yeah, they might piss off the Shadow and Alastor even even more but he deserves it--Vox still has nightmares about his near death.

OHH okay okay i see. that clarification. Actually made things 1000x worse for me actually im gonna throw up. this val trusting in voxs abilities to the point where it made him lose one of his best friends for years vs show val jumping to vox the moment that it became clear the other couldnt hold his own..... so sickening what the hell. the guilt that val must feel in specific for voxs disappearance and presumed death- honestly hes probably glad for dying so much those first four years because it took his mind off the fact that it was HIS fault all this happened to vox and him and vel. i just want an oddly tear filled reunion scene with the two vees where vox is like "i thought you guys just didnt think i was important enough to come help" and voxvel start actually bawling bc theyve missed him so much and theyre so glad he's back and *safe*. also the discord server inclusion is hilarious as hell thank you for that mental image nonny

oh my GODD thats actually so sweet im gonna be sick. i just know those former heads are kept clean and swept everyday both by niffty and alastor himself, and the one in his bed is probably propped up by all the most comfortable pillows while alastor himself just goes without a pillow.... WHAT WORDS. what FUCKING words if it was i love you ill actually just implode on the spot nonny ill get raptured and itll be all your fault /lh

+ pentious finally gets an audience with his idol! aww this is so sweet im gonna get cavities. hopefully he doesnt get hit with the kys this time but oh well if he does cause i support my wife committing crimes

Also. Vox having nightmares about the time he nearly died.... do you think that he has like ptsd flashbacks or something everytime he sees a radio. im gonna be SICK fuck oh my god. do tou think ohe day he just . meets al again and immediately tries to run away or something while the other hotel members go to his defense because they know the shit hes been dealing with from al....

p.s. nonny are you planning on turning this into a fic or something anytime soon? because if not.... can i write one based off these ideas 🥹

[running-with-the-feels]

Soo... About that time Kuai liang told scorpion/Hanzo the truth, and Hanzo proceeded to give Kuai the look... Got any thoughts on that scene?

I have SO MANY thoughts

I did make a post about it a while ago, but my thoughts have developed a bit since then, so Thank You for the ask.

Specifically, it's this look:

That is of interest to me bc in this moment, Hanzo does not know what the truth is, he still thinks that Bi-Han was responsible for his family's death. All he knows right know is that Kuai Liang (who he's looking at) has invited him here to discuss something.

We also don't know what Kuai Liang's invitation said, but it must have been something bc otherwise Hanzo wouldn't be here. If he was invited with the promise of information about what happened to his family, he would be demanding that the second he saw Kuai Liang, if it was with the promise of an alliance, Hanzo would have refused to meet.

So what was it?

And in that picture above, Hanzo is looking at him so softly. There's not really any fondness or yearning but there's also a complete lack of hate and anger. It's like he's seeing Kuai Liang for the first time.

And then he catches himself:

And there's suspicion and anger again, like he's reminding himself why he doesn't like or trust Kuai Liang

But the whole time Kuai Liang is talking, Hanzo is listening, he Wants to understand, he Wants to know why he was invited here.

There's suspicion, sure, but no open hostility which one would expect given what happened the last time they saw each other (Blood Ties Comics, Hanzo left Kuai Liang to die a slow and painful death)

The only reason they fight is because Frost intervenes and even then, the moment Hanzo realizes that Kuai Liang didn't order that, he stops and starts listening again

He has no desire to keep fighting, as much as he argues against the alliance before learning the truth. And I don't know whether that is guilt over how many times they've hurt each other or because Kuai Liang might actually be the most stable relationship (hostile tho it was) that Hanzo has had since his wife died

They have been a part of each other's lives for years, both as enemies and as forced allies (due to Quan Chi) and nothing has ever actually been able to part them. Kuai Liang might very well be the one constant Hanzo has.

Which, I think, Is why he didn't kill him in the blood ties comics. I know that it's Takeda who intervenes:

But it's also made clear on the next couple of pages that killing Kuai Liang wasn't really something Hanzo wanted to do

Sure, it's less about Kuai Liang than it is about his own soul remaining intact but from a storytelling point of view rather than a character one, Kuai Liang's life has been tied to the struggle hanzo is having over being Scorpion again or not

Hanzo tries to kill Kuai Liang (being scorpion) but stops at the behest of his adopted son (being himself). Kuai Liang is then left on the brink of death as Hanzo admits that he is on the brink of losing himself.

Kuai Liang's life is thus symbolic of Hanzo's soul and dedication to making amends for what he did as Scorpion. (I know that wasn't the writer's intention but that is what they have achieved, or at least, one interpretation of it.)

So when Hanzo meets with Kuai Liang at the Lin Kuei temple, his struggle over, it makes a lot of sense that he would be calmer and more understanding.

Because for all that Hanzo has a reputation for being hotheaded and unreasonable, he approaches that meeting with the intention to try and understand, to listen and not start another fight. And like I said, part of that could be guilt, and part of that is probably the fact that, hate each other or not, they are inextricably bound up in the most important parts of each other's lives.

But either way I would kill to know what the invitation Kuai Liang sent Hanzo said.

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/756239745546387456/whoops-i-feel-like-i-invited-a-bunch-of-nasties?source=share

Well atleast they aren't disappointed in me 🥹.

Just a few quick notes before I go (sorry can't help myself 🫣)

"none of these things that this obviously ignorant anon has written is how real relationships work" hey but that was my point. That is for sure not how real relationships work. Real relationships aren't dependent just on specific occasions. That's why my hypothetical me broke up with my hypothetical bf 🤷🏻‍♀️

"...because in the real world, people don’t feel the need to stick to their partners like that all the time and they definitely wouldn’t ignore their friends or coworkers just because their partner is there." Well....IRL people don't straight up ignore their partners either 😬. And they for sure don't leave them behind without asking them to tag along. Or maybe I've been doing relationships wrong all my life??

The way Jk behaves with Taehyung in public (aww so you see it too?? Aren't they the cutest? 🥰) shows more than anything that those two don’t have anything to hide-Btw, going as buddies in the military or shooting travel shows as a duo doesn't come under the "hidden couple" category either.

"I also don’t see you or any of your anons asking why during HS concert, Jimin and Jungkook “disappeared” together for almost 20 minutes" Yes I didn't ask this anywhere. But there's a reason for that, the reason is- I had no idea that they "disappeared" bcs believe it or not, I am not in-charge of their pee pee schedules. And trust me you don't want to assert the point that they were using those 20 mins for making out in the concert venue loo, bcs by that logic, taekook have been making out at almost every other award show, since they've had a habit of "disappearing" together during shows.

"Y’all must think this is some drama or something where those who are in love can’t keep their hands of each other IN PUBLIC." You say this and then you start talking about 20 min disappearances. Be consistent please 🙄.

"..would openly display their affection towards each other by holding each other while singing romantic songs, sticking close to each other, wispering to each other and all." There were four members at the hs concert. Two stuck together like glue, the others did their own thing. There were three at yoongi's concert, two stuck together, the other one was more focused on yoongi. There were 6 and then 5 members in '23. Two stuck together, the others did their own thing. Now if you want to believe that those two are just coworkers(bcs jikookers don't even believe in their friendship), and I am ignorant and don't knwo how real relationships work, then I'd rather have this coworker relationship than that relationship with a boyfriend.

Hi anon!

Well, they are probably sitting around being all mad because I once again hid their ask from all of you 😂. Thanks for coming back, I think the tone of your ask was pretty lost to them.

My reason for not believing that Jk and Jm are together will always be that I do not see it in their general interactions. Sure there's some moments that out of context look sus, but when you look at them in context.. they are clearly just friends (which is by all means just as important by the way, people should stop acting as if calling two people best friends is some sort of insult). No matter how many birthdays or couple days they spend together, no matter how happily Jk talks to Jm in his lives, no matter how often they are seen together in general.. I just do not see it in the way they interact. Never have, not once! So for Jkkrs to come here and use arguments about Jkk to debunk Taekook.. it just makes no sense. It is not as though we are not aware of Jkk moments, or that we are not aware of Jkkrs theories.. we know! We deal with the same footage, Jkkrs literally send their opinions to our blogs. I am just never going to see it. I still will not see it even if it ever turns out that Jk and Tae are just friends.

I can never take a Jkkrs opinion on Tae and Jk seriously, because I think a lot of their opinions are based on unrealistic views. Had I thought their views on Jk, Tae, and Jm as individuals are correct, perhaps we would have more room to discuss.. but with how they usually describe the three, I don't think there's a possibility of that happening.

[lotus-pear]

okay, i know this sounds silly once i actually write it down, but i never thought people thought about holidays as more special than regular days? like i get it, there's celebration, but sometimes what it celebrates isn't what you're feeling at that moment. so what do you then? enjoy the same as everyone else anyways? i have a couple friends that are younger than me, mostly bc i kind of mentor them sometimes. earlier, i wished them a happy new year, and they asked why i didn't have much energy about it. i just didn't feel it. i told them that, and they said i just didn't get it. mostly with a tone of "you're being silly", like i'm purposefully trying to ruin their mood.

and here's the truth. this year's holidays have been quiet. no issues, no problems. it's been a peaceful time. but for that to happen, my parents and i just stayed at home, in our rooms. we exchanged presents on christmas morning, but we didn't make a special breakfast or force ourselves to take pictures. there wasn't a need to. we're with each other, we're at peace, but it's not very different from yesterday when i listened to them laugh from my room with some star wars show playing. or in the middle of august when we watched the spiderverse movie. they're okay, i'm okay, and in the turbulence of the year, i think that makes it nicer. it's like other days. quiet.

that said, it surprised me, how there's a need for the days to be special. like if i don't dance my way through new years, i'm doing it wrong. or that if i don't eat all my dinner in thanksgiving, i'm being ungreatful. it's strange, i think, how people mold these days into more importance. i guess for me, i've always thought i'll celebrate when i'll celebrate, and i'll quiet when i'll quiet. for me, i will laugh without tearing through the idea that it might not be the time. that i have homework or situations boiling over. i'll just laugh because i want to laugh, and that it's special because i'm letting it be.

holidays are excuses for others to let me cherish them. i've noticed that. some days i want to give a gift because i found something they like, and the response is "it's not my birthday" "it's not christmas" "you didn't have to, this was your idea". but i don't always get that. why do i need some outside force to let me know that it's a moment worth celebrating? i knew that it let me give more than normal, but i didn't know people actually thought it was supposed to be more special. i didn't know it was an actual expectation. so here i am, with a question held back previously by my teeth. think you're a thoughtful third party. might as well ask the question, since there's a button letting me. what's your take on holidays? are they more than other days? why? maybe you can shine light on why it's more special. or maybe you don't, and you just shrug at this observation. at the end of the day, i thought it nice to ask something like this to someone like you. artists see so much. makes me envy it sometimes.

and just in case they are more important than two days from now, happy new year.

i let this sit for a little bit bc i wanted to give a provocative and thoughtful opinion regarding the matter. i agree with what you stated previously, with holidays being used as outlets to channel a specific emotion that is normally disregarded. it ilks me at times to give someone a gift, only for them to respond “what’s the occasion?” must there be an occasion? could i not have simply thought about you in that moment, found something that reminded me of you, of our bond, and gifted it to you as a way to show i think of you outside the time we spend together? isn’t that what gift giving is about?? why must it be your birthday, or christmas, or some other holiday where it’s expected to give gifts to one another? holidays are just some other day in my opinion. they’ve been romanticized and commercialized, so much so that the joy of christmas in my childhood has completely lost its meaning and value. i wake up expecting to feel mirthful and eager, but really it’s just another winter morning, yk? it’s like the magic of the holidays has diminished over time. it doesn’t feel the same anymore.

[caluski]

hi… any tips how to spend your birthday alone :-(

hiii im so sorry baby i know this sucks :(((((( i might be not the right person to answer this bc i always freak out about my birthdays BUT maybe some of these could soothe your nerves a little as well.

choose music for yourself. what i usually do when im having a tough day is picking either a) a playlist of mine that i know will keep me feeling alright, or b) a playlist with new music that i can listen to thorough the day in hopes of finding something new (like my favorite genre playlists from everynoise.com). if youre likely to feel crappy on ur bday best to not choose either too sad or too happy music!!! too sad for obvious reason, but too happy - might make you feel even worse, like forcing yourself to smile in the mirror when you feel like the absolute failure. if youre out of ideas lmk what genres/artists you like and i would love to try to pick out a playlist for you!

the classic go to cinema/cafe/restaurant/gym/beach whatever to keep yourself busy. im sure you probably thought of this yourself but its a standard advice for a reason; activities are good for you!!!!!! since its summer, maybe your city has some fun events? flea market or thrifting? being a tourist at your own city? maybe a free museum or art gallery exhibit? think it through, im sure theres something you can come up with!!!! for me, free-to-attend events work best, because i dont have to worry about feeling guilty about spending much money.

if youre like me, you might feel worse if you pretend its a day like any other - for me, celebrating things is super important, so i have to acknowledge birthdays properly. so what i do, instead of acting like its nothing, is trying to make it as special as possible. if you cant be with your loved ones, try to make it a day of preparing yourself for the upcoming year. for me, its usually meditation, taking some time to relax with my thoughts (like during yoga), lighting candles, and so on and so on. for me this past sunday, it was a lot of listening to the rain and intense wind. maybe take a super long bath, or if you prefer being more active, a longer than usual walk/run to help you clear your mind.

this is connected to previous point, but - remember to look at your future with hope no matter what. its really important to try and find positives, even if being alone for one reason or another sucks so much. good ways of doing it are listing ways in which your life has become better than last year (there MUST be something - maybe youve become better at sex, maybe youre feeling a little more comfortable in your gender expression, maybe you finally learned how to love food you used to be grossed out by, whatever). think of what youve overcome since past birthdays, think of how youve grown or what youve learned, and then set yourself some goals to achieve over the next year. dont be TOO ambitious because then youll just feel upset bc you didnt manage to meet your expectations. aim low and specific! explore a new city, try to overcome your anxiety about phonecalls, find a new comfort tv show, and such. think of small things youve always wanted to improve on that feel more achievable. you can put it into a letter to yourself to open in a year, maybe a word document, an extra long journal entry. remember that a you from the next year will likely read this! be kind to them and give them as many excuses to feel proud and hopeful as possible.

start the good change & embrace new things! dont let yourself drown in sadness by staying in bed all day. its okay to have bad days and let yourself process them - we cant possibly be doing our best all the time, and sometimes slowing down for a moment really is necessary to keep moving forward - but it'll feel so much better to do something meaningful (to you). if youve been wanting to start working out for a while, a day like this might be good to do it for the first time. or maybe youve been putting off cleaning your bedroom or your bathroom or something. change your sheets and pajamas! start fresh! crack open a new book! maybe you have an unused notebook laying around - start a scrapbook with a beautiful collage on the very first page. make that recipe youve kept in your bookmarks for years - its so fun to look back at your memories like, "oh i remember ive made my very favorite meal for the very first time on that lonely birthday!!! how symbolic is that, now i cant imagine celebrations without it!!!" and so on and so on.

and these might be super obvious but theyre also super important: stay well fed and hydrated! get plenty of fresh air! if possible reach out to someone for some human contact! go to bed at proper hour or take naps (dont stay up for too long esp if you know you'll do nothing but feel sad - and lack of sleep will only make you feel shittier).

these might be pretty plain but i hope something can be helpful. so sorry about your birthday being in solitude! i hope the next one will be much, much better and you'll be surrounded by your loved ones. happy birthday sweet pea! and let me know how the day goes for you :-) mwah!

[peachyfnaf]

im really not having a lot of fun watching sams/laes anymore and it's just making me rather sad. so. this post is me yapping about that- under the cut in case someone doesnt wanna see it (and i have a tag to block if peeps dont wanna see my saltier/more discourse-ridden takes in general lmao)

tbch, i feel a bit bad about it. or not really Bad, just upset n' angry n' annoyed that im no longer getting as much joy out of watching the shows as i used to. it does a big hit to The Tism which normally clings onto these shows like a leech dhfssdfgd

i think i've made my opinions on the current arc blatantly clear to anyone who's seen me post about it before, but in case someone Hasn't, let it be known i do not like this arc. i hate it. i hate what they did to nexus/new moon, i hate how it's being handled, i hate how some of the other characters are being treated/are acting, i hate how the fandom has become so split over this arc that you almost have to pick a side and can only make friends on that side. i hate it.

anytime its a silly episode i have the gnawing thought of 'nexus is out there. perhaps being manipulated by dark sun or falling further into villainy, or something even worse.' in the back of my mind, so i can barely focus on the silly and just start thinking about nexus instead. and sometimes the silly episodes just bore me or contradict themselves or make me worried for the future. (ie, for the last one, some things that are nothing but silly jokes in the moment- such as frank- can later be considered legit serious and lore important things down the line, so i always have to keep my guard up a lil bit even around silly episodes. its rather exhausting).

and anytime its a lore ep im just not interested in it bc im more curious as to whats going on in other parts of the lore. ofc i mainly mean nexus, but im also curious about eclipse and what he's plotting. about the astrals, specifically lunar v taurus. i simply dont see the content i was hoping to see, and its been happening back-to back-to back-to back now on these two channels. so, it's starting to become unfun/boring for me.

not to mention that i just Miss the vibby games- i miss the video games very, very much and i am constantly angered at the higher ups for making the va's do more lore both because all this lore is grating and im also highkey worried for the va's. idk how stressful it must be to film lore for basically every day, but i'd bet its not the best thing in the world. i fear for even worse burn-out.

overall, this, to me, is just not a fun time in these two shows rn and im really thinking about just Ignoring this arc completely in my own canon and instead focus on past lore/silly videos. like i'll prolly still theorize about what's next and watch the eps just bc i like hearing their voices, but ive gotten past the "im angry at this for fun" phase and am more into the "im not angry anymore, just bored, sad, and disappointed with how things are turning out," phase.

i miss my wife, (sams/laes before this arc) tails. i miss her a lot

[mercymermaid]

well here's my full season 5 (nezha edition) rant bc what did i just watch

obvious spoilers 💀

what the fuck was that

blah blah animation, blah blah main character sacrifice, wowee

first off, the mechs?? yeah, i know it's just product placement, and i've never actually liked the concept. in a world of mythology and magic, something to technological belongs in a sci-fi movie, not among gods. and in season 5 especially, they feel *so* out of place. the only people who end up actually using their mech are nezha (twice) and mei (once.) i can't be mad at mei, since yeah it's just one time to have an epic moment and goes away after that, but it's nezha that i'm mad about. that standoff at the festival? okay, product placement, epic moment, never brought up again. but then during the battle thing against the chaos guy??? he's the *only one* using a mech and it ticks me off. i wanna see the third lotus prince not the third lotuce mech!! i wanna see him being all badass with his staff and firewheels (like sealing off the jade emperor's power in s4)

i'm gonna be so honest, i only watched the season (and show) for nezha, as i tend to do to medias when i have a top unbeatable absolute favorite. and the show did not deliver.

tldr; nezha had so much potential and all of it went right down the drain

speaking of the power

so you're telling me that mr. "my job is super duper important and more important than my life" would take lightly to his dad going "lmao no" and just taking his seal and reinforcing it with his little magic house?

OH. THE LI JING SITUATION.

"i've always been proud of you" NO YOU HAVE NOT??? YOU HATED NEZHA SO MUCH YOU BURNT DOWN HIS TEMPLE AND LITERALLY YOU GUYS HAVE A BURNING HATRED TOWARDS EACH OTHER?????

i wanted a fucking fight scene SO BAD. SO FUCKING BAD. but noooOOOOOO you're DEFENDING YOUR BITCH DAD??? okay, i get it, power imbalance or something! give nezha a *reason* to be so buddy buddy with his dad, because he sure as hell wouldn't do it without one!!

that ties in to the whole pagoda thing, how fucking hurtful must it be for your dad, who you are far from on good terms with, to pop in, take the power you've put on your shoulders, deem you not good enough ("you got demoted!"), and push you around?? very! very very!

you do not understand what i would've done, what war crimes i would've committed in order for nezha to get some focus on HIM. specifically angst. with the shit that he went through in s3, being nerfed and having his long-term position as guardian of the map pulled out from right under him by his little friendly rival, and then *s4*, getting his ass absolutely kicked by the shit that went down with azure, being the most injured and put under the giant strain of containing the jade emperor's power, you're not gonna elaborate and give him some depth besides "big brother energy but distant and super 'regal'"?? (btw if you've ever EVER written nezha angst (or even some nezha-centric stuff in general) on ao3 i've probably read it and oh my god i love you so much for gifting it to the world, and if you read this far recs are always appreciated 😭)

actually on that note, mk is the one constantly making trauma jokes, and while i get that he's the main character, everyone's gone through shit. s5 at least kind of works with that, with mei's samadhi fire thing and wukong/macaque's death memory thing, along with pigsy's insecurity moment and sandy's little "i'm very very angry but i control myself" spiel, but like come on ☹️ (not a ruse to get nezha some angsty focus wdym)

ALSO mk breaking the seal? yk how in s4 we had that little thing where their eyes flashed and they felt the jade emperor die? i was lowkey expecting a little similar shot of nezha feeling his seal on the power break but no we needed the emotional moment 😒

i was so excited in the festival scene for nezha to go "yeah, okay, i see you", fight against his father, and join the MCG, but nooooOoo he gets sent to the celestial realm to not be seen until the end of the world

OH SPEAKING OF not nezha but red son??? what happened to the poor guy i feel so bad for red son enjoyers because he had ONE EPISODE of screen time. that's worse than us nezha fans. that little bit about the dog videos meaning help us could've so been used later, he literally joked about how this time he was invited and just. didn't show up?? there could've been such a sick moment of mei sending the dog video, and red son seeing it and coming in and being all badass with them but no he was just literally not featured again except for the 'world is ending/being saved' flash shots. (unrelated but please i want canon big brother nezha lil bro red son content those guys are Iconic)

ANYWAY it's coming to an end now, and boy oh boy

basically i have futile, naive hopes for s6 - please, PLEASE give nezha focus that lasts longer than 1-2 scenes. it literally does not have to be angsty, nor big brother energy, not even a badass moment!! just make it mechless and put the camera on *him*, and i will die a happy woman. (another badass moment, in which he wins for once, would make me cry for joy. a big brother, to literally anybody, specifically red son or mk, would make shake and snarl like a feral animal. an angsty moment would make me force the world to be puppies and rainbows. a nezha episode would make me implode and take the world with it.)

bring back li jing and do it *right*. make nezha bring up their horrible past, and at that point, i'd even settle for a corny talk-it-out session with wise words and an issue that gets resolved way too quickly, though an epic fight scene would be preferable. angst not optional, because you can't tell me that interaction would end without tears and breakdowns on nezha's end. (at this point, i'll write it myself)

LET NEZHA WIN. i do not care what he fights, who he fights, when he fights, why he fights, how he fights, let him actually cop a win for once. this fearsome general who was entrusted with guarding the samadhi map, is a protector deity, and managed to singlehandedly contain the jade emperor's power has never won a single fight within his show screen time?? bull fucking shit i tell you. stop treating this guy who carried the end of s4 like some shit side character who never gets his way, and start treating the guy right.

can you tell i'm mad about this

also ACTUAL s5 thing, not gonna lie, mk's decision is stupid. nüwa is trying to protect her creations like a good mighty goddess, and you go "erm actually me some random guy who you created to save the world and was about to do so is gonna undo all of your work and decide to make my own path and simultaneously create a massive crisis where i not only flip normal on its ass and give everyone magic but also potentially unleash the same cosmis horror you're protecting us from"

i'm kinda curious about this new magic tho... (pls have a negative effect or some sort of effect) (pls let nezha win)

yeah okay i think that's it if you've stuck around to the end here's a selection of desserts because you need it after the crash of the season ending 🍮🍭🍬🍫🥧🧁🍰🍪🎂🍩🍨🍧🍦🥠🍡🥮🍥

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ february 2024

yes, i know, february has an extra day this year, but i'm posting this today bc i won't have time tomorrow lol

☆ STATISTICS.

projects worked on: The Gemini Heist

proudest accomplishment: i... wrote?... i guess??? *can't remember a single thing i did this month for some reason*

books read: Witch King by Martha Wells. i'm ngl, i was lost like 80% of the time, but that might just be a skill issue on my part (it's the kind of book that throws you into the thick of it without holding your hand and listening to the audiobook with the attention span that i have was... probably not the wisest idea lol)

(alhough funnily enough, it's while having this audiobook on in the background that i came up with a lot of my plot thoughts for gemini heist LMAO. either that or while playing zelda.)

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

although i did get writing done this month, this update's gonna be short. i don't really have much to say lol

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: THE GEMINI HEIST (draft 0.5)

it's very weird to not be using word count to track my progress anymore. freeing, but weird. i have no concept of how much i've actually done for this wip this month.

i do know i've figured out a bit more stuff about the heist and the lore. i had a big plot brainstorming session and untangled a few scenes. while i know what direction i want the story to head, i still don't know how any of this gets resolved, tho.

and i wrote out a few important scenes. that's progress, right?

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

i've been writing so chaotically out of order based on whatever scene i feel most inspired for in the moment that i,,, honestly can't remember what i've written this month vs what i had already written before 🥲 here's a scene that i THINK i wrote in february. Leo and Illiana might be my new favourite dynamic. (for context, Illiana is posing as her identical twin at a party, and Leo is posing as a guest. they came in separately.)

With the bodyguards tailing her the entire way, Illiana slowly made her way towards [Leo]. She tolerated a few brief exchanges with other guests she crossed paths with to appear natural, then, once she was close enough, she slipped the extra comm out of the pocket concealed in her skirt. She made a show of bending down to pick up something, then strode towards Leo. “Excuse me,” she said as she approached. “I believe you dropped your earring.” Leo turned to her, smile strained underneath her veil. “Oh, thank you,” she said, holding out her hand. Illiana placed the comm into her palm, taking care to hide it from the guards. As Leo angled her head away to slip it into her ear, she added, “I must say, your Holiness, this is quite a lovely party.” “Why, thank you, Miss…” She faltered, realizing she didn’t know Leo’s alias. “I’m sorry, I don’t believe I’m familiar with you.” “I’m a business leader from Tharekkan,” Leo said, pressing her palms together and giving Illiana a slight bow with her head. “It’s an honour to be here.” Illiana was surprised that Leo, with all her meticulous planning, didn’t have a fake name ready, and now she was curious. “How may I address you?” Leo’s already tense smile tightened even more. “‘Miss’ is fine,” she replied, practically through clenched teeth.  “No, I meant, your na—” “I’ve been told much about how lovely Fiolsby is, right before the winter,” Leo cut off, an unnatural segue back to the script they had practiced. “But I haven’t had the time to properly see the city.” Now Illiana just had to pry Leo's fake name out of her. “Really? That’s a shame. You know, the gardens offer a wonderful view of the city. Would you like to see, Miss…?” She let her sentence trail off, watching Leo expectantly. “If it’s not too much trouble, I would love that,” Leo replied, to Illiana’s annoyance.

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

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[abrahamvanhelsings]

CURRY. hi, it's me again just realized i should also have asked for metternich/rossini (i am 100% serious)

going to give you a 100% serious answer. do i think they fucked? not historically but do i think in another world they might have? by god. yes. i am not exaggerating when i say that metternich was genuinely one of rossini's biggest fans, and that's saying something bc rossini had half of europe eating from the palm of his hand at the height of his popularity. i haven't read much on their interactions, and i think there's nothing on their... situationship specifically. they're briefly mentioned in various literature, and im not sure where the primary sources concerning their relationship (like letters) can be found. it's kind of hard to get a good grip on what they were to each other, bc one author will simply say that rossini was metternich's favourite composer and then another will say they were friends. however i read an article on metternich's use of music in diplomatic settings recently, Damien Mahiet, 'The Musical Diplomacy of Metternich', Diplomatica 3:2 (2018), and that really got me thinking abt how they could've been something. in my mind. for real. going to add some screenshots here:

It's clear from this article at least that they interacted on a level that, to me, goes beyond 'guy who hired another guy', but that they really talked about music together. also, not unimportant to mention that metternich played the violin as an amateur himself, so he really did know what he was about! this is what i mean when i say they interacted on a more casual level:

extremely funny to me that rossini would complain abt this to metternich, like the gossip... these two were hitting it off. what's also really important to me is how metternich wrote abt rossini to dorothea lieven (the wife of the russian ambassador in london who he had a situationship with, also btw a very interesting woman bc politically she was arguably a more influential figure than her husband the ambassador):

"a very nice chap"

"he consistently touches a sensitive string in my heart" :')

metternich going 'fuck beethoven his vibes are miserable and his music repetitive. rossini is everything to me btw' has me on the floor lmfao?

"a lifelong passion for the work of rossini in particular"

rossini saying that metternich really understood music >> they were talking deep into the night i know it

in a wild turn of events metternich hated court life and the public, societal nature associated with politics and diplomacy. he really much preferred to be at home with his wife and children (and to have long conversations through letters with his mistresses, which is a whole other interesting aspect of his life, but before anyone starts making assumptions, i must state he was also happily married to his wives - id have to make a whole post abt early 19th century upper class relationship conventions and metternich's specific ideas on love to dive into this). but ?? to say abt listening to music, and apparently rossini's music in particular in such public settings, "i live in a moment when the rays of the sun enter the darkness of my jail" ?????

also there's these other bits that show metternich was SUCH a fan like he really did everything to get rossini to perform at places. and partly this was bc of his diplomatic efforts through music, of course, but that he chose rossini in particular is bc he thought he was the god of harmony and thee best person for the job. and i like to imagine he also wanted to talk to his bestie in person:

and ROSSINI STILL WROTE TO METTERNICH IN 1858 talking abt "the brilliant days" and their friendship from almost 40 years ago. brother.

so there's this for the historical aspect of their relationship. now it's of course also very interesting to me that metternich was considered to be very attractive by standards of the time, plus he was abt 20 years rossini's senior which :) i love me an age gap (and so did metternich's third wife as ive shown you lol). lot of ways to do something very interesting with this whole dynamic. plus i think there's plenty of room for angst if we consider metternich's conservative policies against rossini's politics which are always kind of... ambiguous, but there's a lot to say abt the opera's he created and what did and did not shine through in those. also the fact that despite whatever political differences they had it clearly did not prevent them from being friends bc of the power of music <3