#this song fits them way too well ugh (starts ugly crying)

[kismetmoon]

‘your name is a triangle, your heart is a square.

i love to see you, way over there.

once i was happy, you found it intriguing,

then you got to me, and left me bleeding.

you make me feel like a fool, waiting for you.’

[Plain text ID: a drawing of two original stylised Flatland characters, Ruth and Liz, on a light pink background with a green circle in the centre.

Ruth is a humanoid character who has pitch black skin with dark grey patches, a round half-lidded eye with a point on top and four bottom lashes for a head, thin limbs and a short tail. Liz is another, taller humanoid character who has a seven-point star shaped head with one eye with three top eyelashes in the centre, grey skin that fades to black on the edges of her head, her forearms and hands, and the bottom of her legs and feet, a thin black tail with a five-point star end and two hoop earrings at either side of her head.

Ruth is wearing an oversized light grey button-up jacket. She is smiling at and talking to Liz while wagging her tail. Her left arm is bent as though whispering something to Liz. There is a square speech bubble beside her with scribbles, to indicate illegible speech. Liz is to the right, holding a dieffenbachia plant with both hands while her knees are slightly bent. Her tail is behind her and she is laughing while smiling at Ruth. Both of their eyebrows are raised. There is a tiny pink heart beside Ruth’s head.

End ID.]

[krizaland]

Yandere Zim X Male Reader? There isn't many out there, and I sort of had a song in mind if you would like to listen: Rory by Foxing.

You got it, friend!

Be warned: There are themes of unrequited love, wasps and a graphic depiction of wasp stings ahead!

Here's the song that was used btw

From the moment he met you, Zim found himself captivated by you.

From your gentle eyes to your kind soul, Zim found you utterly fascinating.

You were nothing like any of the other humans! You weren’t ugly, and you didn’t even stink!

You may have been friends with Dib but that didn’t stop you from sticking up for him whenever Dib tried to expose him!

At first, Zim decided to use you as a good source of information as well as a way to keep up appearances without drawing too much attention to himself.

However, the more time he spent with you, Zim started to feel…strange to say the least.

His PAK would spark around you and his squeedilyspooch felt like it was tied up in knots!

“Computer! What are these HORRIBLE feelings inside of me?! What has that Y/N-human done to Zim?!” Zim demanded as he pointed to the ceiling.

“WELL….UM…”

“C’mon spit it out already!”

“WELL IT SEEMS THAT YOU HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE…”

Zim’s jaw hit the ground.

“WHAT?! ME?! IN LOVE?! WITH A HUMAN?! IMPOSSIBLE! Preform a full body bioscan!”

Zim’s computer sighed as a few mechanical tentacles wrapped around Zim.

“SCANNING…SCANNING….”

After a few minutes, the tentacles retracted,

“BIOSCAN COMPLETE. NO ILLNESSES DETECTED.”

“N-No! No! This can’t be! No invader can even experience love! Especially not for the enemy! What am I going to do?! ARGH! Computer! Create an antidote for my love illness!” Zim commanded as he tugged on his antennas.

“UM THERE REALLY ISN’T A CURE…”

“LIES!! Surely there has to be some way to get rid of these HORRIBLE FEELINGS!” Zim wailed dramatically.

“WELL…THERE IS ONE WAY TO GET RID OF THEM..”

“What are you waiting for! Tell me! Tell me the solution!!” Zim demanded as his voice quivered a bit.

“THE ONLY WAY YO GET RID OF YOUR FEELINGS IS TO ASK Y/N OUT..” The computer lied

“WHAT?! YOU WANT ZIM TO DATE THE ENEMY?! ARE YOU INSANE?!”

“Nyeh!”

Zim’s tirade was interrupted by Minimoose.

“Stay out of this, Minimoose! This doesn’t concern you!”

“Nyeh!”

“Aww! It’s sweet that you care about your master but don’t worry, Zim will be fine!”

“Nyeh!”

“Eh?! Ask Y/N out on a date to keep up appearances?! Never! didn’t I already make it clear that was a bad idea?! There’s no way I’d possibly show that kind of weakness to the enemy. But what if…”

Zim hummed for a moment as he stroked his chin.

“I’ve got it! I’ll ask Y/N out on a date to keep up appearances! Yes…I’ll simply use these feelings as a way to appear more normal so I can continue my mission!”

Minimoose was a bit annoyed but happily encouraged his master

“Nyeh!”

“I think you’re cool too, Minimoose! Now then, how to woo Y/N…Maybe one of those love note thingys.” Zim muttered to himself as he begin typing away at his keyboard.

After a few minutes of typing, Zim cracked a wicked smile.

“Excellent! With this loove note there’s no way Y/N could possibly resist my proposal!”

Zim burst into maniacal laughter as he printed the note.

“Now all thats left to do is deliver it!”

“OOOH!! OHHH!!! CAN I BRING THE NOTE TO RACECAR?!!” GIR squealed as he reached for the note.

“No GIR! I’m not going to risk this note getting damaged because of you!” Zim snapped as he snatched away the note.

GIR did like that answer.

He let out a loud shriek and threw himself to the ground.

He begun to kick and cry as loud as his voice chip would let him.

“ENOUGH! You may deliver the note to Y/N!” Zim grumbled as he held out the note.

“YAY!!!!!!!”

And with that, GIR grabbed the note with his mouth and flew off with it.

“Ugh, I better make sure GIR doesn’t ruin all of my hard work.” Zim huffed as he threw on his disguise and followed after GIR.

It wasn’t long before GIR managed to find you.

You were sitting on a bench in the park next to Dib, who seemed nervous about something.

“Dib? Are you ok? You’re acting kinda…twitchy”

“Twitchy? I’m not twitchy! Heh! It’s just um…the air! Yeah the air is really cold today!” Dib lied as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Dib it’s almost June. It’s like 88 degrees out here. What’s really going on?” You pressed as you gave Dib a sympathetic look.

Dib looked down at his feet and took in a deep breath.

“Ok, I’ll tell you but you have to promise you won’t be grossed out by me.”

“Dib, you’re my best friend! Not even hunting the most disgusting cryptid can make me grossed out by you!” You reassured with a chuckle.

Dib took in another deep breath as he turned to face you

“Y/N, I know we’ve been friends for like a really long time now and….well….”

“Well what?”

Dib swallowed thickly as he tugged at his shirt collar

“I think I might want to be more than friends!”

Dib’s words flew out a mile a minute before he clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Wait?! Are you serious?!” Your eyes lit up a bit.

“Gah! I knew this was a bad idea! Just forget I said anything!” Dib whimpered as he buried his face in his hands.

“No no! I’m actually really happy you told me that, Dib! Because…I want to be more than friends too!” You reassured as you put a hand on his shoulder.

Dib looked up at you and blinked in shock.

“Wait? Really?”

“Yes really! I’ve actually been wanting to ask you out for a while but I wasn’t sure if you felt the same.” You admitted sheepishly as you rubbed the back of your head.

“What?! You had feelings for me this whole time?! And you didn’t even- You know what? Who cares? All that matters is that we both feel the same about each other! Right?” Dib still seemed a bit skeptical.

“Exactly! That’s the spirit!” You cheered as you threw your arms in the air, smacking poor GIR out of the sky.

THUMP!

SPLOOSH!

GIR fell face first into a puddle, soaking Zim’s love note.

However it wouldn’t have mattered whether or not the love note was in tact. For Zim had witness the entire exchange between you and Dib and was devastated.

He let out a pained chuckle as he grabbed the soggy note from GIR’s mouth.

Zim was about to confront Dib when-

BONK!

THUMP!

Zim had walked right into s tree, causing a wasp nest to fall right on his head.

Zim let out a blood curdling scream as the wasps begun to attack him from all directions!

Soon he began to run amok, with more wasps trailing behind him!

It wasn’t long before Zim managed to make it back to his base.

Two robotic arms came down from the ceiling,

POP!

They pulled the wasp nest off of Zim’s head and chucked it out into the front yard.

Zim let out a pained groan as his grotesquely swollen face throbbed with wasp venom and glowing green pus.

The robotic arms carefully peeled off Zim’s disguise and another arm carried him down to his lab.

After a refreshing chemical shower, Zim’s face had returned to normal!

However, while his face had healed, his feelings were still in shambles.

He picked up the note and went back up to the kitchen.

Zim sunk to his knees as he shakily held the soggy note in his hands.

“I wrote you a letter, asked my robot to send it but it took to the sea before you could’ve read it…”

Zim’s grip tightened on the note as a few tears trickled down his cheeks.

“Retreated to snow capped waters of the unknown. Extracted my soul straight from my body! but glowing and red…And I swear that sweat would envelop your arms if you broke down and held it!”

“I swear I’m a good man-“ -Zim took in a heavy breath- “-I swear I’m a good man…”

Zim sniffled a bit,

“So why don’t you love me back?”

He looked down at the note in his hands.

“So why don’t you love me back?”

Zim let out a deep growl as he chucked the soggy note into the window.

“Instead of twisting up words you just say there in silence! In wind burnt homes sighing rays from a sunset!”

Zim rose to his feet and stormed towards the window.

As he peeled the soggy note off the window, he couldn’t help but notice that the wasp nest was still in the front yard.

“And all I could hear was the sound of the wasp nest, my head made a home for the hum of the insects!”

Zim took another glance down at the soggy note he had peeled off the window.

“But my hands shake and shudder at the mention of half written reasons we’ll only be friends!”

Zim’s fist curled around the note and punched the window.

“I swear I’m a good man…. I swear I’m a good man…”

Zim squeezed his eyes shut and let out a sob

“So why don’t you love me back?”

His hand slid down the window.

“So why don’t you love me back?!”

Zim threw the soggy note to the ground and stomped on it

“So why don’t you love me back?!”

He threw his head to the ceiling and shrieked

“So why don’t you love me back?!”

He clutched the sides of his head and wailed his plea once again,

“So why don’t you love me back?!”

Zim melted back down to his knees.

“So why don’t you love me back….”

A louder sob racked his body as Zim felt his world crash down around him.

How humiliating.

He was Irk’s finest invader! How could he be so wounded by one pitiful human?!

No, pitiful wasn’t the right word to describe you. In truth, Zim felt that handsome was a better fit.

Despite how devastated he was, Zim still couldn’t stop wanting you.

The need for your love sparked a fire deep within him.

The fire burned violently throughout Zim’s body! Pulling him out of his depression and making him more confident than ever!

Zim wanted you for some much more than appearances!

He wanted you to be his and his alone!

By taking you away from him, Dib had just made the biggest mistake of his life.

Zim let out a thunderous maniacal laugh as he raised his hands to the ceiling!

He put his disguise back on, grabbed a blaster, and hopped into his Voot.

“Prepare yourself, foolish Dib-monkey! I am coming to reclaim what’s rightfully mine! You shall rue the day you took Y/N away from Zim!”

[berrymeter]

ok perth u probably didn't see the oneus cb yet but i gotta give u my thoughts please take my thoughts.

black mirror: it feels a little atrocious and cheesy and i actually love it like it's just a catchy song!! they could have gone harder but i'm okay with it. the mv is VERY valkyrie which is cute but also boring. none of the shots really wowed me also rbw tanked their budget for this cb.. and some of their fits suck. for me this is a step up from banbakbulga though

connect with us: letdown letdownnnn i would honestly rather listen to the outro version of this song. there is no movement there is no buildup. but xion has a verse so 🥰🥰 i guess

polarity: THIS IS THE ONE.. catchy as hell mwah

happy birthday: save me. save them. the chorus is nice honestly and i like this producer but the aggressively heterosexual corny english interjections really took me out of the vibe.. it's not my birthday i'm not your girlfriend shut up shut uppppp

valkyrock: mixed feelings bc it really just feels like valkyrie with poorly arranged hard guitar in the bg there were some weird instrumental choices too. it serves its purpose which is to be a cool concert remix. there are some cool moments tho especially with the main guitar which i can only assume is kanghyun just shredding it good for him. could have gone harder with the rock concept

so overall this cb... just okay. i'm okay with it! it's def not a come back home or a tbontb (i actually LOVED tbontb era sfsgdfdgdg even the acoustic guitar in the chorus) but frankly it wasn't trying to be that. still feels pretty oneus. anywayyy this is long! i just wanted to like. open a discussion lol don't feel pressured to respond!! -tt

i can finally start answering this ohohoho

hi tt anon my beloved!!! i am ready to answer to these thoughts (aka compare them to mine hSDGHSDKJGH. also i’ll be writing like, each ThoughtTM after i’ve listened to each song, so while i’m typing that i’ve only heard black mirror)

ok so i’m done typing my thoughts and. it got VERY long. don’t apologise for length i’m also wordy <3

now connect with us. so far i didn’t like the voice editing on keonhee’s voice but the song sounds... alright... not groundbreaking but it’s alright. seoho my beloved <3 WAIT THERES NO DROP IN THE CHORUS???? WHAT THE FUCK? i don’t really like the typical kpop drops always used now but come on?? oh wait there’s a? ugh. that was nothing. well i guess it’s a song and dongju got a verse for sure. i don’t have a lot to say on it i don’t know if i’ll add it to any playlists IS THAT HWANWOONG’S FIRST LINE?????? what the hell is any of this DSKJFHKJHD i may not have noticed him before but huh what. eh. it’s a song. again maybe it’ll grow on me! but right now yeah it’s a letdown i agree.

so for black mirror i agree the mv was... cheaper than what we got with gaja, twilight & etc. like they used all the budget on their first mvs DNSKJFHKJ (and to be or not to be... i guess? i don’t remember much except Guns And Blood Bath). i don’t really mind it in itself bc i don’t watch mvs much anymore and i’ve accepted that sometimes companies will just throw whatever at the audience for the sake of money (see also: ugly dance by onf letting me down in great part bc it acts as a followup to beautiful beautiful but is literally just a performance mv with no storytelling elements whatsoever but eh what can you do right) but for someone who likes cinematography it’s definitely gonna be disappointing if they were expecting something like gaja or come back home. as for the fits i didn’t really look at them, mostly their faces? and ough they are pretty <3 but yeah i wanted to get the more negative criticism out of the way so i can talk about The Song because unexpectedly i actually really like it!! and we can thank the bassline for that LMAOOO honestly this is gonna sound mean for no reason but this is what w*nho (censoring in case it gets in tags... i do NOT need mbbs after me on this fine day) thought he was doing with his debut song (not losing you that one made me cry. the one that i forgot the name of). i really enjoy the vibe of the song even if imo it doesn’t really fit the visual concept very much? but it has strings and i’m not gonna say no to strings. strings and a sexy bassline. and yonghoon’s whistling. SHFSDHKH

no but it’s a really good song imo! it’s not... as good as say, twilight (maybe it’ll grow on me idk we’ll see but twilight really was one of their best so), but it’s still a pretty solid song and while i do like banbakbulga a lot now it feels a lot less oneus than black mirror. oh wait i have something else to say, they really should leave the rapping to ravn bc like we know kpop rappers are not really rappers but i. really don’t wanna hear leedo rap anymore. he has great vocals there’s no reason for that... ravn is genuinely enjoyable to listen to so i don’t mind him but pls rbw give leedo more vocal lessons so he can sing more (and also give dongju vocal lessons at all?? why does he get two lines per song??? they’re a 2 yr old group now there’s no excuse. is he that bad? i don’t buy it he sounded good in the rtk gaja)

black mirror also very vaguely reminded me of run away by got7 during the chorus for some reason feel free to ignore that HFKJSHKFJ

onto polarity! shit i really need wrist braces. well this is like an improved connect with us? it’s definitely catchier sdnfsjkdfh and definitely a oneus song tho that means i don’t really like what their style is headed toward... one of the percussions they keep using, i really don’t like it!! i hear it everywhere and i don’t like it! not bc i hear it everywhere but bc it’s used for anything and everything like u should be more careful with what sounds u use for what songs. but i’m also very picky in the little details when i’m focused on something i guess sndfjskh. keonhee sounds really good in this song thank u mr lisp for my life i love u :) OH WAIT LEEDO IN THE CHORUS??? VERY GOOD LET’S GET MARRIED jk not to a leo man.

then we got happy birthday....... um... i was gonna say this is fine then he said you’re my goddess and. let me out <3 NOOO KEONHEE SOUNDS SO GOOD THIS IS EVIL... WHY DOES HE SOUND SO GOOD ON THIS SONG NANODNONDD LOVE LOSES </////3 i wouldn’t say it’s unlistenable for me like english girl but i’m gonna have to turn off my english speaking brain to listen to it yeah. it’s a good song otherwise what a shame... stop pushing ur heterosexual words onto me i’m just trying to listen to a song!!! do songs have to be gendered!!!!!!!!!

valkyrock here we go. last one. last one boys & not boys. so far it’s nice tbh. HUH? they lost the vibe with ravn’s verse. okay i guess the prechorus is alright i can hear the faintest hint of strings. the chorus... the percussions should not be like that... like idk how to explain it but the rhythm is too regular and not spaced out enough, if they were gonna do it like that it should hit a lot harder. don’t give me just the big boy (idk the english name but u know the one on the drums) and the small cymbal sound... that’s not loud enough bring out the damn gong (ok i may exaggerate but like it sounds more dancey than rock either way). uhhhhh overall though i really like the mix of the heavy guitar & strings i think that’s great and they should do that more. i can only assume onewe took care of the instruments LMAO harin u should’ve gone harder than that king i know u can...

so uhmmm for me this cb is... better than the previous one. which is sad bc it was a full album. i also liked it better than tbontb bc i felt that one didn’t go hard enough and black mirror wasn’t trying to go hard in that way so it doesn’t bother me 😭 yeah it’s not light us raise us fly with us level but it’s really good still. i can’t wait for oneus to finally release something that makes me insane but tbh? tbh? the bassline might get me there anyway. sexy bass makes me deranged and i think that’s at least a little bit relatable. still... when oneus get back to their roots in ways other than valkyrock maybe we’ll ascend to a better plane. much love 💕

[willsilvertongue]

tag game

💘choose five of your own favourite edits and do a short commentary on each, at what you absolutely loved about it as well as what you’d do in it now as in order to improve and other comments!💘 tag ten mutuals of yours to provide an opportunity to amazing content creators such as yourself to appreciate their edits and spread love!! 

tysm for tagging me @tenmonologues 💕💕 this is the cutest tag game for editors aw

bellarke ‘lose my mind’ gifset: LOL i’m always gonna plug this one in when i can just because it never showed up in the tags and i spent an embarrassing amount of time on it yike... for this one i remember listening to the acoustic version of the song on the bus and almost started crying right then and there bc it fit them so so perfectly. anyway i do love how it came out i think the scenes are really fitting & the pink colour scheme worked out mostly 😌 still hate the last gif but i blame s5′s ugly ass night scenes lighting

beliza gifset: this one also took me ages but i had a lot of fun doing it and just looking at their moments while editing made me soft throughout the entire process so.. yeah :’) i’d cut out the last two gifs though they’re not really needed and i don’t like how the colouring looks with rest ahahaha

(t100dcaw18) luna gifset: i was looking through my edits and tbh this one is kinda cool?? idk it’s just not the standard way i make them i guess. but it worked out since me playing around with the text made the set look better overall i think & the colouring i made for the first scene worked for the rest of them without needing adjustments - an obvious relief to any editor dfsgfkgf. also luna :(

‘5 times bellamy struggled’ gifset: oh boy this one had to make the list for sure. it’s one of the first gifsets i posted on here and the feedback from people esp old mutuals made me emo and it was before s5 and the gifset itself was really sad but the type of sad you want to feel so... i’ve just got good memories about it you know? ugh but making it was a Process in terms of turning bellamy less pale the lab lighting really had something against him huh!! 

‘if i love you is that a fact or weapon’ gifset: this one is my first actual gifset and it’s here for sentimental reasons too but also bc i love the quote so much ok!! it’s just SO them from clarke’s pov 😭 bellamy literally being used as a weapon against her in 315 & her love for him being made a fact when she writes his name down on the list i just love the implications that has

anyway yeah.. these aren’t even my best edits they’re just the ones that make me feel the most emotional i guess! but lemme add a bonus for the s6 trailer one & this bellamy one they’re not faves but i think they’re a lil pretty

tagging @jessmariana @jasperjoordan @clarkegriffinblake @pterparkcr @shialablunt @commander-anya @sulietsexual if you guys wanna!

[talkingismylifewrites]

babe.... bAbe..... u can’t give them the Good Dad Rog shit and the. not follow up with the hot space angst.................... it’s what the people Deserve

i copied this verbatim from our chats so like, if its choppy that’s why. also, this is like….part 1 of what is really 85 pages of hc’s all about hot space so like…more to come??? sorry for the angst

it begins with brian having cheated on chrissie

and dom, who is pregnant with baby #5, takes Offense to it

basically dom gets chrissie her divorce and sets her up with crystal, who has always had a Thing for her

and while in the middle of handling this shit because dom is kickass, dom comes to the decision that Brian Is Wrong and Needs To Be Taught A Lesson

so she convinces ronnie to her side and is like, we do not interact with brian for as long as it takes for him to realize he fucked up

so basically hot space is such shit because dom and ronnie are like for however long you support brian we will not have sex with either of you

like you want to be there for him? fine but your hands gonna be there for you instead of us

john immediately is like good luck brian hope you figure your shit out

kinda backfires actually

roger and john are like uhhhhh

well this is a shame certainly bc we love u

but also

ig we…. gotta fuck each other

Oh No

they’re so smug about it until they receive an envelope from home

its pictures of both women together in various positions

john gives in first but roger is annoyingly stubborn when he wants to be

And that’s why John don and Ronnie all get to go to Bali

they come back

And roger has moved out

and he’s like. uh. can i? am i allowed to see the kids

and they’re like wait what?

and they’re like OF COURSE WHY DID YOU MOVE OUT???

and he’s like. you uh. u said? that if i stuck with brian that we were like. done. and like brian’s a fuckhead and chrissie deserved none of what he did but uhhhhh he’s also like. my best friend and he’s going thru some shit even if it’s self inflicted u know and um. you guys have each other i guess so like i knew you’d be okay but i just.

i’d really like to be able to see the kids

and fucking miami ends up at the door

with all the NDA’s and legal shit they sorted out

like ok so, here’s how separation is going to work

and they’re like wait no no no we just–we were just upset???

but roger is like but you threatened to end our relationship and withhold sex unless i give in to what you guys want and i’m sorry but i…i can’t do that

and miami is literally like you. you all. left. and you took the kids with you. you left a NOTE

what the fuck did u think he was going to think?

and they’re like WE TOLD HIM WHERE WE WERE

WE THOUGHT HE’D COME

miami is like

“bali” is not an invitation 

 like no you thought you could manipulate him into bending to your way

that doesn’t COUNT

miami is Team Roger

which is how they know They Fucked Up

and roger just kneels down before their little army of kids and gives them giant hugs and is like no matter what i will always love you guys

and then miami like takes him outside and is like i will take you all for everything he’s owed

and roger goes and lives with freddie

brian ofc has NO IDEA any of this is even fucking happening

maybe thats when roger starts The Cross

and its all angsty heartbroken shit and Johns like HE’S QUIT THE BAND

and the three of them are like shit

we do not work together without roger

miami ends up being like the weird go between who picks up the kids for their weekends with roger

and they beg miami for information

and miami is like you do not deserve to know how he is

and crystal is like look, i get that you’re supporting my girlfriend but now you’ve hurt my best friend and my boss like…do you understand how your actions have fucked me???

and roger isn’t really? doing well? but he also know he can’t afford to fall apart because if he goes to shit there’s an excuse for him to not be able to see the kids???? and like he doesn’t wanna think they’d do that??? but he only has legal rights to like. three of them.

and the thought of never getting to see all of his kids keeps him up at night and he spends a lot of time drinking

like a lot a lot

and he writes all the kids letters from where he’s holed up working on the cross and he makes it sound like hes! doing! so! well! on! his! own!

the kids get little gifts delivered? like all the time

bc he’s always thinking of them and he has the money to just.. send them trinkets

ugh ok so they’re separated for a while then like. just under a year maybe?

rog moves out of fred’s after two months

when it becomes apparent that uh

this isn’t

he gets his own little shitty house

this might be for Real

and he tries to get one with rooms for each of the kids

and when they come to visit he’s like look here’s something for you and bunkbeds for the twins that aren’t twins and a pool and maybe we can get a dog?

but the kids just want to pile into bed with him

but one of them like is crying? and john’s like whats wrong? and she’s lke do you think papa is lonely in his big house who’s going to cuddle him at night he’s all alone

and johns like……….. fuck

 like not only have we broken the best relationship we’ve ever been in but we have broken our children too

the kids asking roger in the big puppy pile in his bed and he’s like well i cuddle you all SO MUCH while your here that it it keeps me warm even when you go home

that why i hug you all as soon as i see you!!!! i need a top up of your love!!!! gotta keep me toastie warm :)

and freddie is a fucking liar he’s like roger is doing BETTER THAN EVER he is so FUCKING HAPPY NOW and hes like ROGER IS THIRTY FLIRTY AND THRIVING AND YOU GUYS ARE MISSING OUT ON HOW HOT HE LOOKS NOW

like POST BREAK UP HE’S TONED AND FIT AND HE LOOKS AWESOME

flash to roger sitting on the floor of the kitchen in his boxers without a shirt on just sobbing into a pint of rocky road ice cream

roger: vaguely emaciated, surviving on cigarettes and gin and tonics

he hasn’t shaved but the man can’t grow a beard so its jsut ugly patches of hair

but!!! like the other three really only see him when the kids are around and??? yeah??? he looks good!

because no one can KNOW because as far as he’s concerned they didn’t want him

like he’s dressed nicely. he’s lost a bit of weight but well he’s hit his thirties so maybe not the Worst thing even if they did Love His Pudge

and he would never ever ever scare the kids by showing them how he looks

freddie’s like oh yeah roger’s GREAT

SO BRILLIANT

and you can’t tell he doesn’t sleep and has massive bags under his eyes because that is the dawn of the prescription sunglasses

TRIED TO HAVE HIM AROUND FOR SCRABBLE THE OTHER DAY BUT HES JUST GO GO GO THESE DAYS

freddies like you should hear the songs he’s written like that stuff is GOD

(the songs are just him weeping over a guitar track)

cut to the other day: freddie and roger playing scrabble for thirteen hours in between crying jags

the next day: chess, but the pieces are shot glasses

freddie is like in bed next to jim like i dunno how much more alcohol we can drink i’m running out of ways to make him drunk enough to forget

so jim makes him garden with him bc it gets him out of the house so he even gets a TAN but they just drink SO MUCH WHISKEY

 then ronnie and dom and john are like look at him he’s golden tan he looks gorgeous

  but the kids are like DAD HAS A STRAWBERRY PATCH!!!! AND WE PLANTED SUNFLOWERS TOGETHER

 and jim is like he’s only evenly tanned because when he passed out in the garden i rolled him over so his back would get tan too

  and yeah they’re like??????????? he looks so good????

and miami lowkey thinks hes helping but he is NOTbecause every time he sees him he’s like okay we can get you think much from your combined fortunes and the beach house and i can make it so you have custody of your legal kidsroger: they’re ALL MY KIDS MIAMI

but rogers mainly like i’m not gonna separate any of the kids that’s????? no. like. they belong as a family

 even if i’m not……. part of that family….. any more…….

 roger is like look i just want to be able to see them. i won’t take them form their parents and miami is like roger..you’re their parent too

 and roger is like no i’m just like, their uncle now?

 like i’m not in that family they made i clear that i am not allowed

A N Y W A Y S

 ronnie is the one who sorta caves first

 she’s lke look we started this and i kinda pushed for us to end it so i’m gonna fix it

 john wont bc of the band dynamics, dom is top aware that it could splinter the group back into two couples, ronnie is really the only one who can

 yeah and ronnie sorta. just shows up at his house in the middle of the night

 and like (luckily for him) he’s just got in from a thing for the cross

 so he Doesn’t look fucking awful

 but he’s also fucking exhausted so he opens the door and is like FUCK are the kids okay!!! shit!!!! dom??? john???

 and ronnie’s like everyone’s fine i just. i missed you?

 and roger’s like. he’s so tired he’s just like ronnie….. i can’t do this right now. you can’t. you can’t just show up here

 that’s not fair.

 and ronnie’s like…. well. she wasn’t sure how she was really expecting it to go because. yeah. they’re literally not been within about 50m from one another in fucking months

 but she was. hoping at least for an “i miss you too”

 but roger’s like. it’s really late, i’m… gonna go to bed. i really, really cannot do this right now. i’ll see the kids on friday.

 and so ronnie goes home and bawls her eyes out to john and dom who are…. also kinda shook?

 like. they were NOT expecting roger to turn her away like that, that’s… yeah. but like roger has been mostly by himself this whole time. like they’ve had one another but he’s. just been sorta trying to learn to keep his head above water by himself again and. it was actually a dick move showing up there unannounced. like, they basically left him with little to no warning they can’t just try and walk back in the door y’know?????

 and anyway on friday miami comes to pick up the kids and ronnie is like uhhh i’m coming with

 and miami is like uh. disrespectfully speaking? you fucking are not

 and she’s like oh :) ur not taking my kids then

 which. is just. another bad move? tbh

 miami is like. right. fine. can i use ur phone to call the other father of ur children to tell him that one of their mothers won’t let him see them

 and ronnie is like go right a fuckin head

 and dom and john are sorta there like ronnie ronnie wtf are u doing ronnie

 but ronnie’s like nah i’m calling his (miami’s) bluff

 and dom is like no, uh, roger can have the kids

 but. miami calls

 and ronnie is like not mine he can’t its all or nothing

 he’s stood there in their parlour

 and like obviously they can only hear his side of the conversation

 dead eyeing ronnie like i fucking hold this band together out of sheer will

 i can outlast you no matter what

 Miami: Hi Rog, Miami. Yeah, yeah, the kids are fine. I’m at your old place right now, actually. No, yeah. No. Well, actually, Rog. Veronica says you can’t have the kids this week. No, she didn’t say anything to me about it before. No, no. I’m sorry, Rog. I know, I’m so sorry. She hasn’t said anything about next week yet. Yeah. Yeah. It’s alright, it’ll be alright. We’ll work something out. I’ll come right around, okay? Alright. Okay. I’ll let them know. Yeah, I promise. Just like you said. Won’t change a word. See you in a bit.

 and ronnie is like what did he want you to say to us?!!!!

 and miami just straight up blanks her and dom and john

 and walks into the living room where the kids are, all ready to go

 and is like hey rugrats!

 (which is totes rogers nickname for them)

 and they’re all like!!!! uncle miami!!!!! are we going to see papa now???

 Veronica is like ho don’t you fucking say it

 and he’s like i’m really sorry guys (and ronnie goes to interrupt but he stops her) but daddy has the flu

 and the kids are like!!!! oh no!!!!

 and he’s like so you can’t go see him this week :( he’s really really upset about it, and he HOPES he’ll be better next week because he misses all his little nuggets so much

 and the eldest is like???? but!!!! our hugs keep daddy warm!!! if he’s sick he needs to be warm he can’t be cold!!! who’s going to recharge his cuddles???

 and miami is like well he said if you all hug each other reaaaaally right he can feel it! so long as you all keep giving each other lots of hugs he’ll keep tight and cosy

 and he goes to leave and is like to the three of them like…. i cannot believe that you are actually doing this. i didn’t know you could be so cruel

 and off he trots

 and ronnie is like. fuck

 fuck

 FUCK

 and the other three would be like ronnie what…what the fuck was that???

they end up having…. a huge fight over it

 like giant

 like “hi chrissie can you take the kids for a couple of days” fight

 and chrissie is like uh…. i can take a few? but crystal is.     away

 work emergency

 and johns like????? queens on a break????????????

 and dom’s like???? ROGER, JOHN. ROGER IS THE EMERGENCY

so they’re like trying to find babysitters so they can fight it out but also maybe go to roger??? 

 because the work emergency is code for roger is trying to destroy himself via alcohol poisoning

 like miami knows the second he hung up that roger as going to just drown himself in whisky

 so he used a payphone to call freddie and crystal

 and is like i don’t care what you have to do or how you do it but you need to be at roger’s yesterday

 but brian isn’t looking after their fucking kids

freddie isn’t home

 and jim has heard what they did

 and hes like that was fucking cruel

 crystal isn’t home

 miami is gone

 fucking RATTY doesn’t pick up

 phoebe straight up was like freddie told me if i watched hte kids he’d kill me

 he was like i am not even allowed to be speaking with you thank you and goodnight

so they call mary and they’re like please mary

and mary is like as far as i’m concerned if you’re that worried about roger watching his own fucking children i do not know why you would call me as the better option

like fuck you you think roger can’t be with his kids and now you want to DUMP THEM ON ME??? “and anyway, i’m just stopping at home for the booze i have here. we’ve all been banned from the liquor stores with in a ten mile radius of…… a place.”

 eventually they manage to scrounge enough family members on john and ronnie’s respective sides

 but it. genuinely takes like over a day

 everyone is either straight up just not answering or, if they are at home, not willing to step in

[meanwhile miami is on the fucking warpath he is like you wanna play chicken? i’ll roast you for dinner VERONICA he’s writing up a custody agreement so tight it will tie them up in court for years like he sits down at roger’s kitchen table while roger is profusely vomiting up all the alcohol he had and then some and he’s like they’re gonna fucking pay

he’s getting the kids and the houses and over half the money and the royalties and here is a list of available bass players because HE GETS THE BAND TOO]

 but yeah john ronnie and dom end up having a giant, fuck off, end all fight

and dom is like. u realise we just took his fucking kids away right

 and johns like for fuck sake chrissie is FINE do you really think she wanted me to tank my career and for all of us to blow up our entire family because of her????

 but the problem is. it’s BIGGER than the chrissie thing now

 johns like she knew what she was getting into and she knew he was a cheater when they were fuckign dating

but really it was like, six different fights that all boiled over in the name of Chrissie’s Honor and then

the biggest thing is that like, 

 when they were in bali

 they did fully think roger would come

 and but then he didnt and the spent 3 weeks getting angrier and angrier at the situation and him and brian and it spiraled into this black ugly mess of shit

 and they didn’t realize how vital roger was to keeping them together like he’s the fun dad so the kids have been acting out more becasue he’s not there to get them to blow off steam

(plus like, the kids just lost their dad??? like he doesn’t live there anymore he’s at a different house and that is big)

 and he’s the peace keeper (surprising despite his tempter but everyone else like stews he’s the only one who’s like lets talk it out)

 and he makes them all coffee in the morning so they’re all vaguely caffeine deprived

 and now ronnie has fucked it all TWICE first by showing up and then by TAKING HIS KIDS and dom was like when we had baby#2 and it was clearly rogers we promised him we SWORE that he would never ever ever take them away from him

 like we said that as long as he was their papa that was IT he was their father and we would never ever take that from him

 and ronnie’s like i didn’t MEAN IT he should KNOW I WOULD NEVER MEAN THAT

 and johns like. ok. but uh. how would he know

 bc

 i mean. we sorta

 did take his kids away from him

 when we went to bali

 when we went to bali for a month

 and again

 and then

 now

 five days of the week

 and now?

 i mean

 we have been… slowly taking the kids away from him

 three weeks ago we made him give them back a day early so that we could do to the beach

 bc we could only do it…. as a family…. on the weekend

 and then two of the little ones (one of which is his) was sick and we kept them home

 because. him seeing his kids is inconvenient to us

 and we had them on the actual day of his birthday

which you know is his favorite day of the year because the kids make him breakfast in bed and wake him up singing happy birthday

 so. us just pulling the plug isn’t… really all that unrealistic is it?

 and dom and ronnie sort of get defensive and backing each other up

dom is like no!! we have NOT!!

and ronnie like how dare you

 and johns like. ok. but see this is the problem

 this was the problem in bali too

 like its us vs. him

 we all get caught up in defending ourselves

 when he’s NOT HERE TO DEFEND HIMSELF

 that everything we do seems right

 and he should… just be grateful?

 to have us?

 to see the kids?

 and that we have proven that if he doesn’t agree with us he doesn’t haveus?

 like originally it was just sex yeah

 but then it was clear that you wouldnt budge

 and neither would he and why should he have brian has been there for him longer than he’s even known me

 like brian is terrible for cheating but he’s roger’s brother and we literally made him choose his family and when he wouldn’t

 we chose for him

 and, as we’ve established, chrissie is FINE

 and a grown woman

 and roger knew that better than any of us because crystal was filling him in on EVERYTHING

 she probably didn’t fucking need the two of you, and then me, ripping apart our family, the band, and the various social circles we run in

 or even WANT us to do that

 and dom’s like……. i really miss him

 i’ve been trying really hard not to

 bc it’s easier to be angry

 and i didn’t want it to seem like i love him more than you guys

 because i know it can be hard sometimes like not falling into those couple-y behaviours

 and i didn’t want to do that

 but i really really miss him

 but like, roger is my first

 he is my first real love and i love you both so much but he’s my roger

and. it’s been really hard watching [youngest] hit milestones and rogers not here to see them

 (and they tried to be nice and send videos and pictures but its not the same!!

so they just stopped telling him hoping that the kid would do it there and roger would think it was the first time

but that just made roger feel like they didn’t care enough about him

to be like oh hey your kid’s walking sucks that you had to learn form the older kid insead of the other parents)

 and dom’s like. and it’s made worse because. he wouldn’t have let this happen if it was one of us

 and john is like. uh

 and ronnie’s like fuck. no. ur right. he wouldn’t have

 dom’s like. right back at the beginning he was always saying that he’d make sure we were all involved in the kids lives no matter what that this wouldn’t happen he wouldn’t let it

 and we did it to him

 and ronnie is like. how the fuck do we fix this

 bc shit like that. like their youngest hitting milestones???? like that feels like something they stole from him bc they can’t give that back

 for like the first time john actually cries

 and is like what have we done

 and yeah. the fight just sorta ends with all three of them in tears and just. sort of silent

 because maybe that was the biggest issue

 because. what the fuck

 because chrissie was pregnant and maybe dom was pregnant and they were like imagine this was us

 and we got cheated on

 and so when the whole Bali Thing happens the kid is like maybe 6 months?

 so roger genuinely misses over half of this kids life

and kidlet just. doesn’t have the same bond with him???

 because there’s so little you can be there for when you get every weekend 

 and roger knows

 but the other three don’t because they haven’t seen him with the kids?

 but the kid just cries the whole weekend and wants his “daddy”

 kidlet isn’t really comfy around roger and neither, really, is their second youngest who is withdrawing

 and roger is just like???? these are my KIDS

 and the second youngest is roger’s

 and i’m a STRANGER to them

 and he tries so hard! but the other problem is like, we have so many kids

 and i am one person

 like he is stretched so thin

so he can only do so much like if hte baby is crying he has to take care of the baby sorry oldest ones i can’t go play outside with you

and the three of them just realize, like, what have we done???

cut to roger’s house he’s just lying on the floor not even crying just laying there his bedroom is ruined because he hung up with miami and just trashed it

and is laying on his floor like i want to die here

john calls while the Roger Stomach Pumping Emergency Squad are on day three of their duties

 and crystal picks up which is. it’s not the BEST he could have hoped for, which would have been freddie, but it’s the second best bc crystal still nominally works for him

 (crystal is like i’m gonna fucking quit like i will take the cross to the NEXT LEVEL even if i have to KILL JOHN TO DO IT)

 and johns like ok this is. i’m just calling to say that i’m going to come around tomorrow? i’ll be there are 12. i’m not asking for permission, but i’m just calling to give you a heads up. to give roger a heads up

 and so. they uh. sober roger up. do their best to make him somewhat presentable? (does not work. he refuses to shave or shower or get changed out of his Depression Pajamas. he swills some mouthwash, they call it a win)

(depression pajamas are john’s pants and the joke shirt ronnie and dom bought him for his birthday years ago thats like save a drum bang a drummer)

 and then. they go upstairs, just leaving miami downstairs except he’s Not Allowed To Talk

 he is there, strictly, as roger’s legal representation

 miami just holds all the papers for legal divorce and separation the papers that are going to FUCK THEM UP if roger says so

 and john shows up and he’s like. oh. um. this isn’t. this isn’t really a legal talk?????? and miami is like yes well y’all do have a history of Technical Kidnapping so

 can’t be too careful 🙃

 and roger just. doesn’t give a shit

 he’s like miami can you shut the fuck up

 like what the fuck do you think johns going to do that’s worse than break up with me and refuse to let me see my kids?

 what, have you all gangbanged my mum too? just for a giggle?

 and john is like. uh. no. winnie is. un-gangbanged. as far as i know.

 and rog is like well there you go, everything appears to be Just As Shit as it was yesterday and no worse

 and johns like look. i just. ronnie honestly didn’t mean that you couldn’t see the kids, not at all. she just. she just wanted to see you and the kids were… leverage? sort of? which sounds awful

 and roger is like. yeah. that sounds pretty fucking awful, actually

 and he’s like where’s my alcohol and miami is like as your legal representative and your medical emergency contact i must advise you not to drink anymore as i do not believe your liver will survive

 (miami [visibly jots down john calling the children leverage])

 but yeah rogers like. well. here i fucking am.

 and johns like. this is all. it’s all fucked up. we love you? we never stopped loving you? this has all spiralled way out of control. the girls were just mad about chrissie and

 and roger is like?? do u think i give a FUCK about chrissie???? none of this was EVER about chrissie on my side. this was about the three of you deciding that our relationship with acceptable fucking collateral for you to throw about to win arguments and get me to do what you wanted

 [miami in the corner scribbling it all down]

 that’s now how relationships fucking work, john. and i never thought you’d take my children away from me for it.

 and johns like. i know. i’m sorry, we’re sorry. it honestly just grew out of control. when we were in bali we thought you would come and then it would have been fine, but you didn’t and we got angry and

 and rogers like?!! i didn’t do what u wanted so you ran away with my children for a month

 i couldn’t have come even if i WANTED to

 “gone to bali” is not a fucking address, john

 (and the thing is when they wrote that? it was tongue in cheek. it was a “come find us”. but, well. that didn’t work out as intended, did it?)

 like they thought of course roger would like, call miami to find them or hell ratty or something like they all have the same credit cards they could figure it out…right?

 and johns like. i’m sorry. can you. would you be…. interested? in talking to all three of us? we love you, and we miss you. we want to try and save this

 and roger is like i dont know

 i don’t know if it can be saved

 and well. that’s enough to get a foot in the door because.    his kids. roger would grin and bear his way thru 16 and a half years of painful awkwardness on his part of it means he gets to be with his kids as they grow

 but he’s not saying yes

 he’s saying he’ll talk to all three of them together

 but miami will be there

 and miami is like 💅

 and so they set a date for the next monday

 and this time roger is wearing like. a fucking suit, he’s all scrubbed up

 and they’re like???????? what the fuck

 (john totally went home and told the other three how terrible he looked)

 but this time like. it’s…. it’s make or fucking break like if they walk out of this and he can’t see it being salvaged then… that’s it

 he’ll be giving them the (kindest) separation and custody agreement’s that miami has drawn up

 miami has like three all drawn up and ready depending on how it goes

 one is niceish one is harsher and the last is scourged earth

 nice: they get half his assets, he gets friday evening-sunday afternoon and ¾ of all school holidays

harsh: ¼ assets (minus property and future royalty income from existing tracks), friday afternoon school pick up- sunday evening, and all school holidays apart from three days beginning and end, weekends, and potentially visitation right son Public Holidays (such as christmas day)

scourged earth: ½ present cash assets (nothing else), friday afternoon pick up - Tuesday morning drop off, all school holidays minus weekends (excepting public holidays. so if xmas day falls on a sunday? too fucking bad)

 miami is like i will wipe the board with you if he asks and i will not hesitate

 and he WILL be going to court to attempt to win rights to have ALL of the children involved in those custody agreements (miami thinks they have a case given how many interviews they’ve given over the years referencing how the children view each other as brother and sister)

 plus there’s like squatter’s/commonlaw rights

 yeah basically miami is. uh ready to destroy

 like roger is the common law parent because he has lived with these kids in that house for 7 years

 roger’s one request was just can i have enough to buy a house big enough for all the kids to come visit and can i just see them? like even if its once a month i just want to see them

 miami is like i gotchu fam you’re my favorite tell the others

 BUT YES SO roger is like i’m really just here to see if there’s anything to salvage.

 and like

 dom immediately bursts into tears

 she hasnt seen him in person since he LEFT

 and because??? how could there not be??????????

 dom is willing to give ANYTHING to fix it

 and ronnie is like. horrified. she keeps going to reach across the table to hold his hand before catching herself

 and she starts. she apologised for what happened the other day, for crossing that line

 and rogers like… it’s been coming for a while now

 because he always knew one day the kids would stop coming

 like either they wouldn’t let him see them

 or the kids wouldn’t want to come see the guy who was once their dad but now just has his own home

 like the two youngest already don’t want him

 so it makes sense

 yeah.

 and dom’s like… do you still love us?

 because i still love you

 and rogers like. i. i could never stop loving any of you???? but i also cant ever forget the past year and the things that have happened either

 That’s what makes it hurt the most is like I still love you?? I will always love you you’re the mothers of my children and John you’re their father like you’re raising my kids

 and johns like well. love is a start, yes?

 and roger’s like. yes. but i love my kids more, and. i spent the last year hoping we were just… going to work it out. that this was going to stop, but it hasn’t. it’s got worse. and i suppose it’s a good thing that you did what you did last week because instead of the kids being slowly taken away from me and me having to accept it over time, it happened all at once and i can’t take that. i Won’t take that again. and so now i know that if this isn’t going to work out that i am Going to have a relationship with my kids, if i have to fight you all in the courts for it

 and ronnie’s like we’re not? we’re not going to fight you

 and miami that sneaky bastard pulls out the SCORCHED EARTH custody agreement and is like so you’ll sign this?

 and dom’s like what the fuck is it?????? and he’s like custody agreement. in the event of your separation from roger, dominique, and/or his departure from the home you share with john and veronica he would be entitled, by contract, to have the children (ALL OF THEM, those children being those who were born between 1974 and 1983) from friday school pick up to tuesday morning school drop off, and the entirety of school holidays apart from weekends.

 and johns like fuck. that’s. a lot of time

 and roger is like? i haven’t had all of the children together in over a month

 and ronnie is like fuck. you haven’t, have you? there’s been….

 and miami picks up another piece of paper and starts listing off reasons

 Because he’s been picking them up and dropping them off and every single time one of them isn’t there he writes it down

 dentist appointment, flu, stomach bug, school trip, trip to the beach “as a family”

 They watch a roger visibly flinches at the “as a family” comment

 and dom just signs it. plucks it right out of johns hand who is trying to read it (or the first page) and flips to her page and signs

 and johns like fuck!! dom!!!

 and she’s like. roger wouldn’t ask us to sign anything that would be detrimental to the kids OR to us

 we used to fucking know that, john

 She’s like Roger is their father first and foremost and he has the right to as much time as he wants from them. If they miss us I will PERSONALLY but them their own phone line to call us but he gets as much time as he wants with them

 and like. john and ronnie aren’t going to sign, not without their lawyer there to check it out, but. that sign from dom? is enough to get roger to agree to try

 to agree that maybe there’s something to salvage there

 Even if it’s just with dom

 Because she was like I have faith in this man and I do not plan on ever losing him again so I’ll sign anything because it’ll never come down to it

 Yeah because. well. he can live with that if it means he gets his kids

 he can live with knowing that he’s not wholly Wanted in this relationship

 if he’s… wanted a little bit and he gets to watch his kids grow up every day

 it’s 16 and a half years

 that’s doable

 He will do what he needs to for his kids

 he loves those rugrats so fucking much

 he stays at home SO MUCH for the next like. year. bc he is BUILDING that relationship with the youngest two

 Like the rest of the break? Is because roger will not leave the house

 He is like nope not working I’m with the nuggets

 And Freddie is like bring them to the studio just come

 Like it’s just him with the kiddos

 Writing and trying to get his babies to love him again

 And he’s like I’m never leaving you ever again

 That first tour? Is ROUGH

 like it is hard for roger to leave and he almost is like I can’t do it I can’t leave them what if they forget me again??

 Which just adds to the angst because they did that to him

they made him doubt that his kids really love him

so then like, fast forward six-eight months???

oh my god even when they get back together? and get comfy with one another to start having sex again (which takes A WHILE) roger is suddenly. really adamant about using condoms

ugh he’d be sneaky about the condom thing at first too. like. he distracts them? clever fingers, clever mouth, encouraging them to help each otherlike it takes. a Distressing amount of time before finally dom is like I Want You To Fuck Meand that’s when That Whole Thing goes down 

she’s like c'mon like how we used to

and roger is like uhhhhh i can’t do that

because you might get uh, pregnant

and the other three can’t think of anything better like yes this will reunite us

an roger can’t think of anything worse because the thought of losing another baby?? he wouldn’t, uh, he wouldn’t survive that

and they’re like????? look if u slept with someone else like. ok that…. hurts. but. get tested and if ur clean it’s fine

and rogers like. no

that’s not the problem

dom has straight up a breakdown about it when she realises what the issue is

because roger is GOOD with kids

roger LOVES babies

but he’s like i do not want to have babies with you because i cannot guarantee that you won’t take the baby from me again

and roger is just sitting here uncomfortable

while dom weeps and john and ronnie are like what the uck is going on

but. he’s not. he’s not comfortable? this doesn’t feel like a family he’s 

building for keeps anymore

not really

it feels like something that can, might, will be taken away

he’s like look we can call it what we want but i get it i’m here for sex

and that’s great!! i love sex!! but i’m not going ot risk it

and the baby starts crying and roger sorta. automatically goes to get up before being like. oh. uh. it’s probably better if one of you goes. she. she’s not comfortable around me, she won’t settle if i go in

its not fair to the kids (because that’s who he’s really messed up over)

like they were so upset and it’s not fair to have them have to like, be separated form their homes and from their parents

roger is just so natural around the kids?

like u honestly wouldn’t even notice that he’d been gone

he slips right back in

he’s a bit distant for a few days, learning the new routines, new schedules, new favourites, new dislikes

but once he’s got it? he’s back in there

but just. flinching away from the casual touches that pass between the four of them

 so later dom fucks john and forgets a condom and has a pregnancy scare

 and roger is like. weirdly……. fine

 and dom is like??????? what the hell ur ok with this??? if i am pregnant?

 and roger is like…… i haven’t decided yet

 and dom’s like wtf do u mean? and he’s like. it would be a dick move of me to just leave ig. so perhaps we could separate but i’d stay living here in a separate room from the three of you?

 and ronnie is like? those are the only two options for you

 we’ve been back together for like eight months

 and rogers like? and we were separated for over a year

i’m still not sure if this is real

AND THEN

freddie calls john one night like. a month or so after the condom revelation (which they’ve all been. sorta sadly going along with? like it ruins the mood a little bit each time bc it’s a reminder that something’s a little bit broken here), and is like. look. i. i really shouldn’t be telling you this? but i think he’ll end up regretting it because i. god knows WHY but i have faith that you guys are all gonna pull thru this. but rog’s munich trip next week for the cross? yeah he’s booked in for a vasectomy.like he wouldn’t say anything because he doesn’t want them to make it a Big Deal

 and they’re SO UPSET but they’re like we can’t tell him not to because…if he wants to, he wants to

So when he comes back from munich 

 they think he had a vasectomy

 John is like how does one check for that?? Does his penis look different???

 Does his sperm taste different?? How would we know???

but one night he just goes to ronnie Just bends her right over and is like let’s do this and it’s the hottest sex they’ve had

 like they have INSANELY HOT SEX and they’re all. laying there. happy and sated. rog is curled up in the middle super asleep and the three of them are just all wide awake staring at the ceiling like huh. what feels weird

and then they realize and they’re like he didn’t use a condom so that means…..

:(

 and then they just PANIC

 Like ROGER

 ROGER YOUR CONDOM

 and he’s like oh my godddd shut up i’ve gotta be up for swimming lessons in like. five hours oh my god

 and ronnie is like maybe he did maybe he didn’t but like YES YOUR SWIMMERS ARE THE ISSUE RIGHT NOW

 THEY MIGHT BE SWIMMING

 IN ME

 ROGER

 and roger is like is…that a problem??? 

 and like they’re panicked bc!!!! he REALLY didn’t want any more kids!!!! they don’t wanna fuck with that they’re finally in a good place again!!!!!

and roger is like, sorry, guess i should have talked to you guys about having another kid???

 but ye he’s. secure again. and their youngest is like. older now. he misses babies. and also miami still got all the old paperwork

and they’re like wait….so you didn’t get the vasectomy??? 

and roger is like lol no

so like, oops, ronnie, you uh, might be uh…pregnant

and they all just sort of fall on top of him because while they’re still not perfect

it’s a start

they have like, five more kids afterwards

also

 veronica, the trooper, still having fucking babies into the mid 90s

 god bless her

 Veronica’s uterus is the real MVP

[petri808]

Birthday Surprise

@hakyonaweeks 8/12 Bonus Day- Past  *This is submission 1 of 2 for the bonus day*  each day there will be 2 submissions :)

(AU Story)  Today is also my birthday so I decided to use that as the inspiration for this story.  Oh and the song used in here is “All of Me” by John Legend

Tapping the notepad in her lap, ‘I should put Aunty Gi-Gan on the table with Uncle Ogi, I think they’ll get along.  Kouren, Vold, and Algira might fit there too.  Ooops, almost forgot Tao.  Okay two more…  Oh, Uncle Geun and Aunt Yun-Ho.  Perfect!’ Yona looks over at her sleeping fiancée, ‘the guys have it so easy,’ chuckling, ‘then again, would we really want them helping to plan out a wedding? Nope!’ She’d bet anything that Hak’s response would be, ‘I did my part and put the ring on your finger, so you plan the wedding and tell us when to show up.’

As if on cue the diamond of her engagement ring sparkles in the lamp light.  ‘Yes, you did put a ring on it,’ lifting her hand, twisting it to make it sparkle again.  The ring itself was not some weighty bling, but Yona really didn’t care if it was a real diamond or a cubic zirconia, a carat or just an eighth.  She loved it more that he had remembered her favorite stone was blue aquamarine, like his eyes, she once equated it to, and had them placed as flanking stones around the diamond birthstone.  

Hak had really thought it out when he got that ring.  She smiles, and of course when he’d given it to her, it had been a surprise she’ll never forget…

~~~xx~~

Saturday, April 7th was going to be a fun night for Yona and her friends, it was her birthday after all and there was just one thing she really wanted to do, sing karaoke. Not that she thought she was some awesome singer, maybe okay enough not to shatter glass, but it was the fun of it, having a few drinks and hanging out with friends.  Her boyfriend Hak didn’t really care to sing, sometimes if they fueled him up with enough liquor they could get him to sing a song or two but most of the time he was just there to hang out which was fine as well.  

By 10pm, the vibe of the karaoke lounge was perfect, tipsy but not wasted, lots of laughter, and a few teasing, mellow and just the way she liked it.  Yona and Lili had just finished singing a song, returning to the table they shared with the rest of their friends.  Yoon, Kija, Shin-ah, Tetora, and Ayura were all there but two were missing, Jae-ha and Hak.  Not a big deal, maybe they went to the restroom or to grab drinks, Yona thinks as she slips into the current conversation.

A tap on her shoulder gains her attention and she turns her head to see Jae-ha standing next to her with a smile.  “Yona, could you come with me please?”

“Why?”

“Hak has a birthday present for you,” pointing at the stage where a chair now sits.  “He requests you have a seat there.”

The girls all giggle, “Is Hak gonna give you a lap dance?”

Yona’s eyes widen as she deadpans at Jae-ha, “He wouldn’t, right?!  Not in front of all these people.”

“No,” the older boy laughs, “he’s not,” turning to the others with a grin, “but if you girls want, I could give you a lap dance.”

“Not tonight playboy,” Lili chuckles, “but nice try.”

“Maybe next time,” Jae-ha winks at Lili, then turns back to Yona, “you should get up there, you’re making Hak wait.”

“O-okay…”  Yona walks with hesitation to sit on the stage as requested, flushing when all the eyes in the room seem to focus on her.  It wasn’t so bad standing on this stage when you’re singing and having a great time, but she swore the silence was making her anxious. What was Hak going to do?  She fiddles with the fingers in her lap, trying her best to not bolt from the chair when a song finally begins to play.

Yona’s lips part, and her hand covers her mouth in surprise when she sees Hak walk out of the shadows holding a microphone, stopping at the edge of the stage, and lifting it to his lips,

“What would I do without your smart mouth

Drawing me in, and you kicking me out

Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down

What’s going on in that beautiful mind

I’m on your magical mystery ride

And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright

My head’s under water

But I’m breathing fine”

Stepping onto the stage towards her beaming…

“You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind”

…And taking her hand into his…  Yona’s eyes are glazing over at such a beautiful and completely unexpected side of her boyfriend.  All the nervousness had drained away and all that was left was just him and her on that stage.

“'Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

'Cause I give you all, all of me

And you give me all, all of you”

Hak continues holding her hand, squeezing, rubbing little circles in the webbing of her thumb and pointer finger…

“How many times do I have to tell you

Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too

The world is beating you down, I’m around through every move

You’re my downfall, you’re my muse

My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues

I can’t stop singing, it’s ringing, in my head for you

My head’s under water

But I’m breathing fine

You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind”

He stoops down to her level on one knee, gazing into her eyes, transfixing them…  She didn’t know her heart could melt any more than it already had.

“'Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

'Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all, all of you

Give me all of you

Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts

Risking it all, though it’s hard”

Hak let’s go of her hand and reaches into his pocket, pulling out…

“'Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections”

… a ring, holding it up to his girlfriend.  Yona gasps, as both hands now fly up to her mouth and a few tears begin to trickle down her cheeks.  “Oh, my goodness,” whispers from through the glowing smile that had bloomed on her face.

“Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

'Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you

I give you all, all of me

And you give me all, all of you.”

Yona’s head is already nodding yes as the last words roll off his tongue.  “All of me,” forcing her words to get out of her head, “I’ll give you all of me Hak!”

“I’m glad you said yes,” he grins and slips the ring on her finger, “would’a been pretty embarrassing if you hadn’t.”

She nearly chokes at his stupid response, “Why wouldn’t I have said yes?!”

“You always say I’m a pain, that I’m always teasing you, and I think you said I was ugly once.”

“I did not…  did I?  Tch, that was when we were kids!  Ugh, you’re teasing me again!”

“I know,” Hak starts to laugh, “I’m sorry it just a habit…”  But Yona’s tired of him talking and cups his cheeks pulling him into a kiss.

“Just shut up for once,” she grins, adding a peck to his nose.  “Before I change my mind…”

~~xx~~

‘Nope,’

the ring sparkling in agreement as she leans over and kisses her sleeping fiancé’s cheek. Hak may be a pain, and he loved to tease, but he’s never hurt her and has always been there for her through the worst of times.  

‘I wouldn’t change my mind for the world…’

[amoristt]

Among the Inbetweens | Nathan x Reader

disclaimer: i know nathan is not a good person. i am not putting a blanket over his actions in this fic. i, the writer, understand he’s not an innocent character and has made many terrible choices. im just answering people’s requests, please dont put me under the fire for it.

thank you.

moody-patootie asked: I would please like to request a nathan x reader songfic with the song Findlay by Landon Tewers (angsty perhaps?). If it is possible and interests you of course. I think it fits rather well with nathan since he was so unloved.  sure thing!! i love song requests so much :3 also thanks for recommending me this song, i love it and i now have a new artist to look into :D in this fic i really wanted to explore the ‘bad parts’ of being in a relationship with nathan prescott, namely his breakdowns. in my fics i mostly portray him in his better, more loving lights, so when you suggest angst i realized now would be a perfect time to show his sides that are harder to deal with. thanks for giving me the opportunity <3 hope you like it!

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

Among the Inbetweens

Upon the very instant you walking into his room, unaware of what you were about to throw yourself into, you realized you really should have called Nathan before just barging in.

The tenacity in the air was almost palpable and it set off alarms that rang in your head like bells, warning you of the situation you were about to have to deal with. Nathan, sitting at his desk with his back faced to you, his shoulders squared and his head ducked down to his shoulders. He was angry.

“Nathan?”

He lifted his head, turned and he glared at you from the corners of his eyes. You felt your stomach drop.

Not mad. Pissed.

“What.” He deadpanned, his voice a rumbling hiss, and you debated just turning around and leaving right then and there.

You swallowed and shut his door behind you, shuffling into the room but staying close to the wall. “What’s wrong?”

The course, airy laugh he forced out made you cringe. 

“Same shit every fucking day,” He laughed viciously. “Day in, day out.”

“What happened?”

In an impulsive, fury induced movement, he shoved all the papers off his desk and turned his swivel chair to face you. You jumped at the movement, taking note of his aggression only increasing. His features were stone cold, eyes narrowed and chilling. His phone was gripped almost devastatingly tight in his right hand. This was bad. Very bad.

“What happened?” He asked as though you were dumb. You frowned.

“Yes, what happened?”

He suddenly stood, sending his chair back and hitting his desk, shaking it and tipping over the small jar of pencils he had sitting on top of it. They spilled and rolled over the edge, clattering on the floor.

“What do you think happened?”

Try as you might to not take his words personally, you still knit your brows at his crudeness. He’s just mad, you told yourself. He’s so fucking mad but it’s not at you.

“I’m so fucking-” he gripped his hair and stumbling back. “Sick of it, everything- I don’t even fucking live with them and they still- Ugh!” He kicked some of the pencils that laid near his feet. “I hate it!”

Of course you knew the minute you saw his anger it likely had something to do with his family, but this wasn’t just his normal agressions. He was blind right now, not thinking clearly as he sent another pencil skittering over the floor. You remained silent, unsure of way to say, and you guessed maybe it was best you didn’t say anything at all. Right now was not the time to console him.

A storm was coming and you could see it in his eyes, his stature.

“They don’t care!” He snarled, and you realized he was more venting out his anger to himself rather than saying it directly to you. A pit formed in the center of your stomach as you realized what was to come any second now. He turned his back on you, body trembling with fiery rage. For just a second he looked down at the phone still in his hand, then he store his gaze away, and the next thing that happened you almost didn’t register.

The phone came less than a foot from your head, clashing against the wall with what sounded like a fatal crack. It happened so fast, you’d barely even seen him whip his arm to launch the device, and you flinched seconds after it smashed into pieces. The pieces gathered in a pile on the floor, the phone now absolutely destroyed and covered with it’s own screens shards. The wall sported an inch long hole.

Nathan did not come out of his rage even after you cried out sharply, jerking away from your spot and swearing you had felt some of the glass fling against your arms. If anything he seemed even more tense and furious than before, his bony hands balling and un-balling dangerously. He wanted to swing at something, break something, hurt something and even though he’d never once gone so far as you injure you this time you wondered if it would be a first. There wasn’t one clear thing in his mind right now, it probably all felt like a mush, or maybe static. He wasn’t even close to being in his right mind. Maybe tonight was his breaking point.

With him standing menacingly in the center of the room you made your way along the wall, finding his bed and soundlessly settling yourself on top of it. You tried to make yourself smaller upon it, your legs tucking themselves to your chest. Knowing him and his triggers, you did not look directly at him. Instead you watched from the corners of your eyes, head turned incase he looked up at you so you could quickly turn away and pretend to not see the hate in his eyes.

“Bullshit,” he seethed, and hissing ferocity made you shiver. “It’s all fucking bullshit.”

You wanted to talk to him. You wanted to tell him it was okay to be upset, to be hurt, to hate, but you couldn’t. Surely if you dared to speak up to him directly right now he’d yell at you, and then you’d end feeling hurt and that wouldn’t help anyone. Right now Nathan needed silence. He needed space and solitude. He could get none of these things.

So much was gathering up inside of him, like a pit of snakes or something far worse. They coiled and writhed inside of him, made their way up to his heart and choked the life out whatever was left of it, and he was left facing the consequence of having your entire chest busted and tied. Without an outlet all of it manifested at the very base of his throat, behind his eyes, in the palms of his shaking fists that would do anything for a face to target. You’d never seen him this way, with such a spark that made you feel like everything around you was suddenly so flammable, you included. You stared at him like you imaged a rabbit would stare at a fox: terrified and frozen with apprehensive tension. At any moment you felt like he’d lunge at you, but he didn’t, and it only made the trepidation grow within you until you almost imaged him making his move.

Only, it wasn’t your imagination.

He did make his move, but you were not the paper he lit on fire. Instead it was he himself, his fingers tracing their way down his face, nails biting into his pale skin and dragging along the way. A sharp painful cry left his lips but you felt as though the agony wasn’t from the physical wounds he was dealing onto himself. When he was done with his first path he did it again, harder this time, eyes squeezed shut and his mouth a tight grimace. Without even thinking you sprang into action and made a move for his hands, gripping tight to his skinny wrists and all too easily prying them from his marked up face. At the sudden contact he tried to yank away but you held fast, tugging him with you as you took a step back to try and keep himself from trying again.

“Stop!” You begged, heart leaping and your breath billowing in your throat. He was still trying to rip away from you, stumbling backwards and jerking back his elbows. When he looked up at you, you did not recognize even a single part of those eyes. He was more akin to a wild animal, frightened and frantic, than he was human. His eyes were dark and afraid, and at that moment they were afraid of you.

You felt like you were wrestling with him but you didn’t give in, holding fast and unwavering even as he started giving into it. His will was draining now, that fury that had once been eating him alive beginning to combust inside of him. The compressions of his heart and chest started to loosen and you hoped he felt like he could breathe again.

“Nathan,” try as you might to reach him, he still limply tried to pull away from you. His actions were half hearted and tired but still consistent, so you didn’t lighten your grip until the last of his anguished tugs were replaced with tortured breaths. You carefully led him to the bed where you had been sitting, and although he was sluggish and lagged behind your movements, he still followed you and did not fight when you urged him to sit down beside you.

Countless marks ran down his face, angry and red. The nails on his shaking hands were short but apparently dangerous, able to work as claws if he was enraged enough. Luckily they weren’t sharp or uneven enough to draw any blood but the marks were still very radiant, running down from his brows, over his eyelids, to his sharp cheekbones like a ugly streamers. His split lip still bled from how hard his teeth had sank into the flesh, and his tongue still darted out to subconsciously try and soothe the stinging.

At least he was letting you touch him. Even if his state of breaking, all his walls starting to crumble down and crush him, he was allowing you the grace of sitting next to him and silently offering whatever support you could. There was so many words swimming in your head, so much you wanted to say that you could almost physically feel it bubbling up in your chest, threatening to burst at any moment.

Nathan, leaning forward with his face in his hands, was both silent and deafening. No longer did his shoulders tense up, fists ready to crack on any surface they could find. He was quiet and still, but there was also a part of him that roared like thunder. His cries.

They were soft, barely noticeable unless you were to see his state, but to you they were all you could hear. Loud, unforgiving, piercing. Your chest ached with every angry sob, every harsh intake of his uneven breaths. Before you had been afraid he was too far gone during his act of rage but it always came back down to this, both soundless yet thunderous. He was the calm of his own storm, and he was a rain that licked away it’s wounds afterwards. He was both the ferocious river, dragging everything along with it, and the gentle trickle that followed close behind.

Your hand met the expensive fabric of his jacket and he didn’t respond, so you let it wander past his shoulder to his upper back. Up, down, gently rubbing over his clothed skin. Not only was the repetitive movements hopefully helping him, but they were also helping you. You timed your breathing to the movements, your thudding heart starting to come down from your previous fears. You should have known it would come down to this. Nathan could be the scariest person you’d ever met, but even he got tired eventually. The only thing that presented a problem afterwards was everything bounding in your head, from the things he’d blindly said to you to the things he’d blindly thrown at you. His phone still laid demolished on the floor a few feet away, that new crack in the wall taunting you.

“Nathan,” you whispered, and he didn’t answer. “Nathan?”

He still didn’t answer. His muffled sobs continued on, adding weight after weight to your chest and making your own eyes sting. You gently scratched against the top of his jacket before rubbing in small circles.

“Can you hear me?”

Thankfully Nathan did seem to be able to hear you. He nodded and then sniffed, then let his hands fall limply to his lap. The sight of his face, still littered with claw marks but now glistening with tears, made you have to look away for a minute.

Now that you had his attention your mouth ran dry, unsure of what to say next. You’d wanted his attention to make sure he was lucid in some ways, but now that he was waiting for you to say something you had no idea what you could possibly tell him to make this situation any more bearable. Actually, you didn’t even know the situation, how could you possibly help him?

Still though, his eyes reached yours, longing and expectant. He wanted you to say something, anything. As always it made you wonder how someone as mountainous as Nathan could appear so small at times, like a small child asking you for help; needy, afraid. The worst possible thing you could do right now was not say anything, so you wracked your brain for literally anything to say.

“Are you okay?” You’d blurted, and the second those words left your mouth you wanted to smack it. ‘Are you okay?’ The question was so painfully obvious, so ludicrous and dense, but he went on to answer it anyways, looking down at his lap.

“No.”

His voice was much… Softer than you’d anticipated. Then it struck you that no, his voice did not sound soft, it sounded broken. Soft was kind and gentle, warm to the ears and touch, but his was none of those things. His answer was blunt and simple, cold, and raw with scratches on his throat. The walls that which buried him had yet to disappear, so instead of fighting them he gave in. Nathan was tired, exhausted from his previous outburst that he’d likely be replaying in his head for the rest of the week. Every little thing would set him off in the worst ways.

Your hand found it’s way to his lower back, but this time he tensed beneath your palm, so you slid it right back up to the spot he’d been compliant with. “Is there anything I can do?” Once again your words felt dumb. After what you’d seen simple minded questions were likely the last thing you should be asking him about. But, you didn’t want to ask him what had happened. Of course you were curious but you didn’t want to trigger him into another melt down, especially not when he was already so jaded and worn out.

For a moment he looked at you, turning his head just enough to get his peak before once again covering his face and shaking his head. “No.” He mumbled, and you frowned in defeat. There wasn’t anything you could truly do for him other than stay at his side, offer some sort of grounding and peace for him to come back to when he’s released with his post-meltdown exhaustion.

“You should go.”

At first words didn’t register with you. You blinked at him a few times, processing, understanding, until you finally realized what he had said. “What?” you asked softly, leaning forward and trying to get a look into his eyes past his shielding hands. Never once had he asked you to leave him during a time like this. Usually it was the opposite, him calling for your aid during even his worst times of needs, but this time he didn’t want you to be there with him.

Once again he let his hands fall to his knees, his fingers toying with the fabric of his jeans. “You should go.” He repeated himself and didn’t meet your gaze, staring straight down. Your throat felt like it had been punched.

“Are you sure?” You asked.

“Yeah.” He answered.

You hated the way it made you feel. It made you feel an entire combination of things, but the most prevalent were useless and… Hurt. He didn’t want you to be around him, and though part of you understood it was because he was likely tired and wanted isolation, you still couldn’t help but take that blow to your ego.

Still, you nodded aimlessly, and swallowed down the rock forming at the center of your throat.

“Okay.” Your voice wavered and you knew he heard it with how he squeezed his eyes shut, almost in pain at hearing the sound.

As you got up, feeling like an animal with it’s tail in between it’s legs, you gazed down at him and took in the sight. Him just sitting there in silence, his entire body still slumped but not of relaxation, his face stinging with self inflicted scratches and his eyes still full of humiliating tears. There wasn’t a single thing you could do for him, and you finally understood what years of this had been doing to Nathan. In this moment you could see everything on him: the years of abuse, the pressure, the way he felt so unloved. The childhood trauma. Though you knew he beared these scars and marks you’d never seen them until this point, and it left you breathless. You so desperately wanted to stay, but you knew he wouldn’t let you even if you begged.

Nathan seemed to have read your mind. “I’ll call you.” was all he offered, a subtle way of telling you it was time to leave. You nodded again and thanked him softly, though you didn’t know exactly what you were thanking him for. Turning your back and leaving him felt entire levels of wrong but you did so anyways, and as you opened his dorm door you caught sight of that damn phone again and for some reason that was the one thing that finally let your tears take shape and leave a burning trail down your cheek. You shut the door softly behind you as you left and leaned against it on the other side, holding your sobs in with the palm of your hand.

The entire way home those tears still rolled down your face, from the moment you stepped out of the dorm room to the instant you stepped back into your own. They felt like scratch marks of their own and thankfully you didn’t run into anyone. All you wanted to do, you found, was lay down and sleep. You were tired too, and welcomed your mattress with a loud thud. Silence took it’s place and hung uneasily heavy over your room, cloaked your mind and body with fog.

You didn’t want to move from your place. You didn’t even want to roll over, not having the energy to even breathe evenly it seemed. With a whole lot of urging you managed to force yourself onto your back, staring up at your ceiling through blurry eyes. Things like this had happened so many times before, you’d think you’d have gotten used to it, but this time it felt… Different. You felt so unnaturally lonely.

Roughly you wiped at your eyes and sniffed, laying there on top of your blankets and pillows, wondering about Nathan as usual. After you’d left, what did he do? Did he cry, have another fit, break more things in his room? Or, worst of all, did he do nothing?

You felt selfish to be hurt at the idea of him doing nothing when you left, but you couldn’t help it. Something about the way he sounded, the way he looked at you, felt entirely new and you didn’t like it. His expression didn’t have any substance, his eyes almost entirely empty towards you. Perhaps tonight was his breaking point, but not nearly in the way that you had imagined it would be.

Sitting at your side your phone sat like a brick, unalerting and silent. ‘I’ll call you’, he’d said, but there wasn’t a thing in his voice that led you to believe he actually would.

The entire night felt strange and alien. It felt wrong, like it shouldn’t have happened, or should have happened a different way. You wondered what it was you could have done to change things even though it meant nothing now that it had all happened. You couldn’t go back in time, you couldn’t change the course of your actions, what little ones you had done.

Your ceiling, white and simple, served as a holder for your eyes to unfocus on. Though tired, anxious, and hurt, you just sat there in silence and waited to hear that obvious and obtrusive ringtone of yours. You waited until you finally fell asleep, eyes heavy with tears and uncertainty.

Your phone still sat beside you the entire night.

There was nothing.

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 11/30 NXT 12/02 NXT UK 12/03 Smackdown 12/04 Takeover War Games 12/06 + Main Event 12/03

Raw:

...Yeah hi, what the fuck is with the doll trapped inside of the table? Is that a metaphor for Alexa??

I’m so happy for her being able to have segments with Orton. Good for her.

Alexa’s like a mere inch taller than me so she’s a nice gauge as to to how tall the men’s roster is in comparison, and Randy? Fucking tall.

So the writing was on the wall; Fiend cares about Alexa (whether the nature is abusive is irrelevant to this point) and Randy has figured out how to use Alexa as a pawn to manipulate Fiend. I was kind of hoping Fiend/Alexa were in control of the gameboard, but it seems I’ve been duped.

The only complaint I have about this is how... compliant and helpless Alexa was in this segment. She’s not only been possessed/traumatized into caring about Fiend, but furthermore she does care about him, so why wouldn’t she be fighting against Randy when she was in his arms? The writing of her character in this particular segment seemed shallow. I know she can play whatever emotion they want from her, so to not ask for any emotions at all is curious.

Also the only person who isn’t a heel here is Alexa, and I won’t really hear any argument on the manner. Fiend is a predator at best. Orton is a psychotic douchebag.

My head hurts. Imagine Becky being stuck in a tag team with Lana rather than throwing a huge fit about not being able to defend her title for fucking months.

“Sarah you wouldn’t understand, but Shayna and I are about to-- *starts smiling like a fucking idiot*” Wow I want to defend wwe’s incessant need for giving Lana a storyline but I’m so fucking tired of abysmal promos. God. I. Miss. Becky. WHY is the Raw women’s champion wrapped up in this??

“First of all... ew.” lolololol

Shayna’s hatred for Lana is fucking hilarious.

Why is it, whenever Nia and Shayna do their dual barricade ragdoll move, Nia always gets the lighter one?

Nia fucking pummeled Lana lmao.

I kind of wish this story had a live crowd, I’d like to see if all of this was actually buying Lana some goodwill from the audience.

Hilarious watching Lana sit on the bottom rope for a few seconds before climbing through onto the apron, before slinking down to a sitting position, before finally collapsing onto the floor barely peering into the ring. Tf is she doing rofl.

Now she jumped up onto the apron lacking any enthusiasm, tagged herself in, and is climbing onto the turnbuckle while seemingly sobbing. What in the fuck lmao.

God Asuka is working overtime here.

*Bonus* online exclusive: how fun, Lana and Asuka are singing and dancing together. This division is turning into a garbage fire rq.

Oh is Mandy still out with an injury in kf?

Love it when new debuts get no fucking entrance. Yikes.

Mia Yim had such a dope theme song and entrance, I can’t believe it’s been scrapped so that she can call herself “Reckoning” and hang out in some dead-end group. Shame.

Oh my god. Mia loses to Dana via rollup after taking virtually no offense. What a waste of everyone’s time. I see this going nowhere, absolutely nowhere.

*Bonus* online exclusive: lmfao the Nikki Cross interview was worth a mention. First off, Nikki looks gorgeous. Second, I feel like this is the beginning of her run of not appearing on Raw because she isn’t deemed developed enough outside of a tag team, which is sad. Third, rofl @ her giving Sarah sheep’s stomach chicken to eat, I have no words. Anyway, she should be a solid midcarder. Get it together wwe.

Highlight: Probably the Nikki Cross online exclusive

---

NXT:

They got Shotzi something that glows. Wow.

Why is there a silhouette as if Io isn’t already added to the team? Why wouldn’t she be? Shayna was in last year’s, why wouldn’t Io be in this year’s? Is this supposed to be suspenseful?? lmao plz.

Indi did not take a bullet for you, she was just an idiot. Also why does this bitch still have a neck brace on? It was an Eclipse, let’s get real for a second.

Why you acting like your team is cohesive anyway? Doesn’t Dakota hate you? Didn’t Toni just turn heel for virtually no fucking reason, after defending/consoling Shotzi and attacking Candice like a sore loser? *sigh*

I know fans are really into WarGames but I find the alliances really fucking weak every year. It’s as bad as Survivor Series, just with more weapons and brutality.

So Xia Li lost some matches and now she’s being tortured... okay. I’m gonna keep my comments on this to a minimum cuz I can tell this will be some long-term story.

Oh I really like how their respective team members are standing up in the back on balconies. I really fucking like the layout of this arena. Huge fan.

Why Shotzi vs Raquel though? Why is the team captain fighting? That’s not typical for these, is it?

Ugh failure to throw Shotzi through the ropes. There’s just... a skill gap in the division, you know? And Shotzi and Raquel are on the lower end of that gap. I don’t care if people love Shotzi, she’s MILES away from being a champion. What saves her is her risk-taking, but it’s just a matter of time before that bites her in the ass.

Shotzi’s offense is doing a minimal amount of potential damage to her opponent while taking herself out in the most convoluted way possible. She’s Sasha Banks on steroids.

You call it innovative, I call it foolish.

Raquel just standing there waiting with stairs in her hands. Beast.

Shotzi can’t have a kf leg injury, that negates 95% of her offense!

Limpy vs Gimpy

Setting up that ladder in the corner was clunky as shit.

A pure ladder stip is hard to have in a women’s singles match, but this match is a big pile of meh.

Honestly I’m not about to complain about all of these women getting involved because this is borderline boring.

AYYYEEE it’s Io! Io saved this match tbh. Love her, THAT’S my champion.

Give Shotzi’s team the advantage, I doubt they win anyway.

To be honest; you have former nxt champion Ember Moon, inaugural UK champion and former nxt champion who fought against Charlotte fucking Flair at WrestleMania Rhea Ripley, and current champion that beat Charlotte fucking Flair for the title Io Shirai. The idea of that team losing is laughable at best in kf. But they will, cuz fuck babyfaces.

*Bonus* online exclusive: What surprises could you possibly have in store aside from some random weapons? Also fuck your howl. Edit: she was talking about her stupid new tank, wasn’t she...

Highlight: Io showing up at the end of the ladder match

---

NXT UK:

Who’s this green-shirt bro and why did he run over there to break up the brawl as if there aren’t 2 dozen officials already? Men needlessly getting involved in women’s fights irritates the shit out of me.

He also got in the way of the shot for the majority of this clip. I hate him. 

I hope Jinny wins this future match.

This Aleah girl is like a cross between Kacy and Alexa, and honestly I hate it. Which is odd cuz I love them. She pisses me off though. Not sure what to make of it.

So supposedly Valkyrie is undefeated? That’s good. Let’s keep that going.

Valkyrie has nice counters and is super athletic. I say this every time I watch one of her matches but she deserves more praise.

I hate that women on UK get so little time. Send Valkyrie and KLR to nxt and send Dakota and Rhea to the MR, thanks.

I’d pay to see Valkyrie vs KLR too!

Still not a fan of Valkyrie’s finisher. Love her gear though, it looks different.

Highlight: Always a pleasure watching Valkyrie

---

Smackdown:

Lmfao Bayley “fails” to break the count before rolling back outside, so she rolls back in and fucking stomps her feet while yelling at the ref. She’s good. She’s good at the basics, good at paying attention to her surroundings, and good at improvising.

Bayley and Nattie are smooth together. They’ve never had a match, right? Other than this?

Love how Bianca has all of Bayley’s attention.

Bayley just used Nattie’s discus clothesline against her lmao. What a troll.

I remember when Bayley tapped, her entire fanbase was crying claiming she was buried. Watching it myself, she is so obviously entering into a program with Bianca. Christ 90% of her attention was on Bianca throughout the match.

*Bonus* online exclusive: Bianca just told Bayley her hair ain’t even and she looks dusty, good fucking bye.

mmmm not sure if Sasha has the admiration of the wwe universe. Look she’s a remarkable talent in the ring, but she is insanely annoying outside of it. She’s changed nothing from the time she was heel, other than no longer cheating to win. She obnoxiously cackles, she’s egotistical, she gets along with legit nobody. I’m not convinced the crowd would even cheer her, even if she’s one of the best bell to bell. Her fans can call her the number 1 babyface, but that’s a stretch if I’ve ever heard one.

“I won the first 2 women’s mitb” aaggghhhhh I hate that Carmella still claims that. Debatable. De-ba-ta-ble.

Lol “I can’t help if men are obsessed with me,” alright sure. That’s good tbh. Carmella is a notorious cheat but regardless, that’s good.

Well the reason y’all never faced one on one is because Carmella’s a Smackdown veteran and you just got here, but I digress.

So where’s the army that still runs around crying that Becky buried her when she called her the greatest woman to never be great (facts)? Where’s the outrage for Sasha demeaning Carmella and claiming she’s not in her league? Sasha fans are wild.

“With half the work I’m better than you. I held onto that Smackdown woman’s title longer than all of your title reigns combined.” omg she’s dead. Shots fired, target hit. Someone call Sasha a hearse. 

Instead of sitting there making ugly faces, Sasha really should’ve gotten up and left. Lick her wounds or something kekek.

Highlight: I’m into this Bayley/Bianca thing they’re building

---

Takeover WarGames:

I just think it’s so cool that wwe shelled out the money for a Black Sabbath song. Of course they can afford it, but for a Takeover? Points.

Nobody wants to come take out Candice rq? No? Nobody at all???

Oh hell yeah Dakota gets to start? Good for her, since she skipped out on it last year.

I don’t fucking get Ember Moon’s persona, but I like her lit gear tonight.

“Aiming it square at Team LeRae” sometimes I wonder if Vic is simply blind.

The concept of this match is fun, but it always feels a little hollow until the match actually starts.

So cool that they got Wade Barrett on commentary in nxt.

Sloppy headscissors by Ember, but Dakota sold well per usual. Not sure why they’d have Ember run the marathon.

I’d pay so much money to see the 4hw in a WarGames match.

Oh that’s cool, Raquel put her hand up to protect Ember’s face from Dakota’s kick. We appreciate a performer that protects her coworkers.

That sunset flip powerbomb by Shotzi onto Raquel off the ropes was neat.

Toni up in here just removing all the turnbuckles. I wonder if running into exposed turnbuckles actually hurts that much.

Toni barely taps Ember with a kendo stick and she acting like she’s dying.

Man that 6 woman thing was so choreographed. Even did a countdown.

Io ma’am we don’t-- we don’t need ladders... okay. Okay.

Io scaling the cage and Raquel knocking her off like in Super Mario Brothers.

I feel like WarGames is convoluted enough, but sure, let’s get into the winter of overbooked women’s matches. New season, same bullshit.

AHAHAHAHAH IO’S FUCKING SMILE. She is standing on top of the cage putting a garbage can over her head, and has the audacity to wear a shit eating grin. I cannot, this girl is crazy and I love her.

Stupid spot? Maybe. Is Io batshit insane for jumping like 10 feet down completely blind? Absolutely. Points.

CLEAN ddt by Io onto Raquel. Spiked.

Candice is dumb. Got a trash can lid standing opposite Shotzi who’s wielding a chair. Candice throws the lid, says ‘hold on’, then climbs through the ropes to grab a kendo stick while crying ‘help’. Grabs her kendo stick, goes to bat against Shotzi, gets her hand smashed lmao. Idiot.

Oh that was perfectly timed. Dakota busts Shotzi with a chair strike and barely even begins to turn around before Io missile dropkicks the chair into her from out of nowhere.

Dakota stuck a trash can over Io and then did a double stomp that impacted the trash can so badly she couldn’t slide it off lol. eesh.

Is Ember gonna attempt to Eclipse someone onto a set of upright chairs... Omg no. You’re gonna take the brunt of this, jfc don’t.

Oh good god what a fucking beautifully bad idea. I hope you’re okay bro. Man Dakota FLIPPED over. Nasty, nasty move.

That Storm Zero through a trash can was ace. Honestly I see a lot more potential for Toni here in nxt than over on UK.

This is a really good match. 

It’s not that I hate the coffin drop off the ladder onto Candice, but Candice really ruined it by preemptively grabbing a chair and holding it on top of herself. Kind of spelled out exactly how that was gonna go.

Io and Rhea make an amazing team.

Rhea and being thrown into the cage on the outside of the ropes, name a more iconic duo. I’ve heard that’s the worst part about cage matches cuz your skin legit gets dragged against the links as you slide down.

Holy shit Io just got powerbombed through a ladder. OOF.

That’s the ending?? Raquel pinned Io for the ending??? Holllllyyyy shit.

Interestingly enough, I’d have to say the 2 team captains did the least amount of notable work.

What took out Shotzi: On screen the last bump she took was her coffin drop onto Candice, which kept her from saving Io. Mess.

Some great spots for sure. Recency bias might be a thing, but I feel like I enjoyed this one more than last year’s.

Highlight: That Eclipse onto the chairs to Dakota was WICKED

---

*BONUS*

Main Event:

Main event giving people promo time? Is this typical??

Okay look. You acknowledged Alexa is brainwashed. You acknowledged that she chose him (even though she’s brainwashed so you really shouldn’t be upset). Now you’re claiming SHE came out and slapped you, as if you haven’t been relentlessly bothering her about her boyfriend that she chose because she’s brainwashed, and as if you weren’t the one who came out and confronted her. Is this not super problematic to anyone else??? Nikki this doesn’t make you a victim or even a decent person/friend lmao.

It’s a good promo though. Good delivery, very buyable.

WHY DO I GOTTA HEAR THE CAW MUSIC???

I know Lacey’s being a bitch, but it’s an awful hair style, Sarah. I’m sorry.

Lmao Lacey is so god damn funny when she has someone to play off of. I can see the appeal in her and Peyton, I can see it. I can see it. The pairing should absolutely not last long because Lord they’re abysmal in the ring together, but outside? Swell, just swell.

Lacey will always have a job solely for her character work if nothing else.

Haha Lacey running from Nikki. She’s a treat.

Really thought that spinning heel kick was gonna be the end of it.

This match is definitely Main Event(tm) worthy, but I’m glad it has some semblance of a story going into it.

Peyton’s jump kick looks dumb.

Probably for the best that Nikki loses this, even if Peyton is awful.

---

*WarGames was definitely the highlight in an otherwise really lame week of wrestling. I don’t even have a runner-up, I’m just thankful for WarGames.

[r-o-se]

ALMOST 101 thought-comments on ep 3 of Produce 101 S2

1.      They are showing the kids journals and practice things. I feel so so sorry for people who have trained for like…. 5 yrs and still cant debut its fucking DEPRESSING

2.      Everyone are talking about how they wanna get to A and nowwwwww they’re revealing the new grades I’m gonna be SAD

3.      Bunch of good kids downgraded to F including Ren and Guanlin and Jinyoung poor boy cant look up from the ground I am REAL SAD BOI

4.      ENTIRE YUEHUA FAM IS D RANK NOW I AM SO FUCKING SAD AAAAAAHHH ALL OF MY KIDS

5.      MINHYUN WENT DOWN TO D I AM SO SO SO SO SAD A G H ITS NOT HIS FAULT HE DOESN’T DO WELL UNDER PRESSURE

6.      K-TIGER BYUN HYUNMIN GOT FROM F TO C AND ENTERED WITH A FLIP WOOOOO

7.      TAKADA KENTA GOT TO B MY DUDE they even said his Korean pronounciation is better than some of the other trainees I’m so PROUD

8.      JR GOT TO B MY BOY MY BOY MY BOY MY BOY IM SO PROUD MY BEAUTIFUL WARTORTLE SON IM SO SO PROUD AHH

9.      And now he says he was too sad about Ren and other NU’EST members who stayed at their grade or went down by one (Minhyun and Ren dropped a rank, Baekho stayed at D) to feel actually happy this is the fucking sad self sacrificing leader I know that boy would cut his leg off for NU’EST to get reciognized again

10.   HYUNGSEOB GOT FROM D TO A WHO HAS NO TALENNT IN SINGING? WHO?? NOT THIS BOY FUCK Y E A H THIS IS THE BEST THING

11.   Kim Taedong from the Vibe Label got from F to A holy fuckk

12.   WOOJIN AND DANIEL GOT BOTH UP TO A

13.   Seriously this is the best bromance of the entire season Daniel dotes on that kid so hard its so fucking cute

14.   They are announcing A grade reevaluations out loud??? Sounds scary ngl

15.   Entire original A grade stays at A grade this really is some hardcore aces all gathered together

16.   They are going to choose the first center now and no one really knew about it, the A ranks are gonna do a one minute performance/choreography within a hour and then everyone will choose a center from that

17.   Everyone are like what on earth do I do right now within a hour

18.   First is Daniel my pink boy who has THREE CATS!! Important information yes anyways hes rapping from a paper and i

19.   Noone pays attention to BNM Park Woojin poor kiddo ppl are like ‘the not Daehwi from BNM’ ‘The other Woojin’ but now he came out and HE DANCED SOS WELL AND RAPS SO WELL WTF DUDE HIS DANCE IS REALLY GREAT WHY WASN’T HE PICKED

20.   Another BNM rarpper kid, Im Youngmin, who rose from B to A but his nerves got the better of him

21.   Soooooooooo many rappers in A rank holy damn

22.   HYUNGSEOB SMALL NERVOUS KID

23.   He apparently had major problems with the time limit and messed up real bad and said he was sad as well I am sad too poor kiddo

24.   Now it’s the kid who came from F to A. He started clapping and everyone did it with him but he FORGOT HIS DANCE MOVES POOR KID AND PPL STILL CHEER FOR HIM IM GLAD

25.   Now it’s time for the little Woojin

26.   HOTSHOT SUNGWOON!!!!!!! His vocals are soooo good goddamn

27.   Other vocally talented kid, Kim Sungri ended with a damn flip

28.   Dance kids Noh Taehyun (IMPORTANT) and Ong Sungwoo

29.   And now the two mains, Samuel and Daehwi lol

30.   Daehwi went off from others and is kinda hiding because he doesn’t want others to know what he’s doing lol

31.   Samuel does some fast rapping and then a really neat and sharp choreo

32.   Daehwi aka the one who wins this im rlly anticipating this ngl

33.   Hes doing the og Pick Me song for I.O.I with really cheesy aegyo lol and I mean its cool but…….. BNM WOOJIN SHOULD’VE WON I don’t even stan that kid but he was sooooooo good

34.   The two candidates for center are Daehwi and the little Woojin

35.   They are now practicing for the big stage

36.   Why blur out the center lol we all already know it’s Daehwi

37.   Ren is so in distress it’s SAD lil boy went out to cry I love him so much gdi he’s more than a pretty face APPREACIATE HIM

38.   And roll the same stage ive seen a bajillion times lol they didn’t even bother switching out the individual shots of kids

39.   JUSTIN AND KENTA LOOK SO GOOD IM SHOOK

40.   I don’t know if it’s the flaw of my laptop but the thing I’m watching this from has such bad and laggy audio rip

41.   I’m really glad they showed that Kim Youngjin kid who was completely edited out from the first two episodes and overall just a bunch of shots of F graders it makes me happy

42.   Now it’s time for the group battle thing and unlike last season with a 1000 vote benefit its fucking 3000

43.   Everyone under the 61 rank will be dead

44.   The evaluation songs are 2PM-10 out of 10//Beast-Shock//BTS-Boy in Luv//Seventeen-Mansae//EXO-Call Me Baby//INFINITE-Be Mine//SHINee-Replay//Super Junior-Sorry Sorry

45.   Totally unrelated to the stuff going on there rn but I’m super excited to see the Infinite performance I fucking LOVE Be Mine and it’s choreo

46.   The teams get chosen by randomly drawn trainees, first is Daehwi because, yano, center

47.   He takes Hotshot Sungwoon, Brave Samuel, Maroo ent Jihoon, Cre.Ker Haknyeon, C9 Jinyoung, Yuehua Euinwoong AKA the kids that are popular/choosing for popularity not ability lol no hate to any kids I love them but I mean… you know lol

48.   Next is Minhyun, He chooses individ. Kim Jaehwan, MMO Kang Daniel, YGk+ Kwon Hyunbin, Fantagio Seongnwoo and NU’EST JR

49.   They don’t know the other teams in that detail rip

50.   The last kids, 5 F ranks and one D rank make up the last team sighs poor leftovers

51.   Now they’re gonna race for the songs, one B rank redhead is going to run barefoot, I don’t know his name but I’M ROOTING FOR HIM NOW U GOT MY VOTE

52.   Unlike last season, only half of the trainees can get a song they want, the first one to get back with their song gets it, later the ones who made it back first get to choose their opponent from the slower ones

53.   Omg the barefoot B rank is SO FAST I’m just gonna link it here because I cant get a good screenshot just click on this entire comment it’ll open in a new window

54.   Minhyun tried to get Boy in Luv but Daehwi was few seconds faster it is SAD TIME

55.   The fastest in the race gets to choose an opponent first, the slowest last.

56.   Fastest team chooses the leftovers team as their opponent

57.   Minhyuns team gets chosen last bc theyre so hardcore

58.   Omgggg Justin, Zhu Zheng and Ren are all in the Replay group this is HEAVEN

59.   Their rival team with A.Tom, MMO Taewoong and Jaehan are all more intimidating looking guys who really don’t fit the Replay softie concept and they are in despair sighs goddamnit Zhu WHY DID U CHOOSE THEM U ASS

60.   ANYWAYS now to other teams, one team got Infinites Be Mine and wow one of the dudes, Im Youngmin from grade A knows the full choreo and says it’s easier than the Nayana choreo

61.   The first team just discovered that Sunggyu sings 90% of the song and see who gets to sing it

62.   Part goes to FNC Yoo Hwiseung who has such an amazing high note everyone stare at him

63.   WOODAMMMM AND HIS GR8 VOICE he’s gonna get the main vocal part to Mansae everyone are sooooo hype

64.   This is the leftover team who goes against the Woodam Mansae team and they don’t have any good vocals sighs this is so sad poor little kids this is so depressing I just want everyone to do well

65.   Beast Shock team 2 only trainees I know is Donogsu from S.How and that’s it rip

66.   Team 1 has one of the D grade YGk+ kids and Minhyuk who ranked last during ep 1 andddd I don’t know others annnnnnnnnd that group isn’t getting shit done they just play around and don’t get anything decided sighs

67.   The avengers team has Baekho’s team as their opponent

68.   Team 2 has Kim Sangbin from grade A as their salty leader aahahah

69.   Fun fact when I first heard shock I thought they said ‘chug’ and I never really bothered to check it until my Beast biased friend called me out lool he doesn’t think they fit the manly man image for Boy in Luv

70.   BAEKHO STEPPED UP AND SAID THAT THEY HAVE GOOD DANCERS LIKE SAMUEL AND JIHOON PLEDIS FAM ISN’T DEAD

71.   ‘Since they are all popular they are gonna fight over the center position’ aahahah FUCK he’s right they are doing excactly that

72.   JIHOON ACTED WITH BIG BANG???????? WHAT??? W HA T ???

73.   Jihoon became the center that’s what happens when u act with bigbang

74.   JINWOOS TEAM HAS CALL ME BABY he’s the second to last chosen team sighs but he’s with the shy kid Dongbin, Han Minho and pink haired Seokyu with that scandal of him getting beaten up ugh poor baby

75.   Anyways that group has a dance off for the center position and even though most preferred Minho they didn’t say it out loud so Dongbin got it but… he isn’t too good with singing rip

76.   The other Call Me Baby team has Moonbok and everyone are kinda thinking that this team will win just because of him lmao

77.   But Moonbok has major problems learning the choreo so hes both their strong and weak point

78.   SORRY SORRY TEAM 1 HAS HA MINHO and also Kim Namhyung and Cube Yoo Seungho making them decently a strong team unlucky enough to go against Minhyun’s

79.   MINHYUNS TEAM AKA DREAM TEAM THANK U MINHYUN FOR CREATING THE TRUE AVENGERS

80.   Sungwoo said that JR gave leader vibes from the moment he saw him and everyone agree

81.    JR is beating himself up again about becoming the leader I’m so sad if this group is not gonna do well he will take it so bad I’m scared to even think about it

82.   Hyunbin suggests Sungwoo and Daniel for center, Daniel says it’s the best for Sungwoo and everyone agree and Sungwoo fake ugly cries and it’s beautiful I’m so glad my team is friendly

83.   10 out of 10 team has Jisung and Kim Taemin, Jisung gets called ‘artificial flavour’ lmao and Jae Chan becomes the Center

84.   The other 10 out of 10 team has Park Woojin from BNM as the leader and Hotshot Taehyun who actually can do the choreo hook. They also have Yuehua Hyungseob, GON ent Eunki and Yongbin whose ent I forgot but hes the one with the pretty nose lol

85.   Taehyun knows the choreo in another way from as it’s written down and it feels a bit heated

86.   The first team has problems doing the tricky chore but the second one gets it pretty well + they have the K-Tiger Byun Hyunmin so its easier for them

87.   First team has serious problems WHY DID THEY CHOOSE SUCH AN ACROBATIC RIVAL

88.   Now they’re preparing for their stage makeup and clothing and whatnot aaaaaahhh I’m so EXCITED everyone are looking so GOOD

89.   2PM 10 out of 10 teams are gonna go on now I’m SO EXCITED FUCK DUDE

90.   Jisung gets called the ‘master of facial expressions’ that’s a pretty lame name for the meme god

91.   Cut to the practice, team 1 is pretty fucking sad and their center Jae Chan makes mistakes with both singing and dancing

92.   Jisung gets praised for his dance and whatnot, Jae Chan asks for more timie to practice, the rest of the team shut him down and make Jisung the center

93.   This choreo is pretty gay ngl and the song is GREAT

94.   They threw confetti on themselves lmaoo

95.   ONE OF THEM DID A BALLET TWIRL SO CUTE

96.   Team 2 is veeeeery ambitious but Hyungseob is having problems with lyrics

97.   Park Woojin and Taehyun are having problems bc Woojin is the leader but Taehyun leads more and Woojin is sad aw

98.   People are crazy about team 2 lol poor team 1 2 has three A ranks and the k-tiger

99.   Ngl I liked team 1 more but I mean….. 2 flashed abs and flips so they are def gonna win sighs

100.   Can’t believe Park Jihoon is gonna sue Ahn Hyungseob for winking

101.   Lmaoooo Kim Taemin rated the other team 8.5/10 for their performance, Hyungseob said the first team was 8.4/10

102.   It just hit me I wont see like half of my kids again ever after this wow now I’m fucking sad fuck you mnet

103.   SOMEONE CALLED JISUNGS NAME AND THAT BABY STARTED CRYING AAWWHH ‘I was reciognized by someone’ FUCKING CUTE

104.   Oh my god they are revealing the results now I am SADDDD

105.   HYUNMIN SCORED OUT JISUNG I AM SAD

106.   HYUNGSEOB GOT 163 VOTES??? WHAT THE FUCK???????

107.   TEAM 2 WON???? BUT THEY ONLY HAD TWO PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT THE VOTES IN IM SO ANGRY TEAM 1 FUCKING DESERVED THIS AAAAAAGHHHHHH

108.   3000 votes is so much that’s so fucking much

109.   Anyways this was sad 

110. FALSE ALARM FALSE ALARM THIS ISNT OVER I JUST DISCOVERED THE CALL ME BABY CLIP THAT WASN’T UPLOADED BEFORE AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH SAVE ME

111.   Anyways 111 what a gr8 number lets watch Jinwoo be amazing as he always is

112.   Team 1 center is ‘age doesnt matter’ Hyunwoo and he just got scolded by Kahi

113.   Team 1 has Moonbok and Hyunwoo, team 2 has Jinwoo so who’s the real winner here

114.   Kahi lets two other members, Donghan and Woncheol to try out for the center position, Donghan does really well, Woncheol not as well. Hyunwoo apparently looks too strong and ‘not sexy’ in the center position loool

115.   Donghan becomes the new center and Hyunwoo cries poor kiddo ugh 

116.   Moonbok has an energizing effect on everyone ngl its cute lmao he also hides behind Hyunwoo while riding piggyback and pops out during one moment aahahahahah

117.   Aaaaaaaand its STARTING shit son the harmonies are nice, their main vocal is REALLY good and Donghae does amazingly as the center

118.   I mean Moonbok energizing others and being enthusiastic is cute but they are overhyping him a loooooooot

119.   Ok but... let me see Jinwoo... pls... THERE HE IS IN AN OVERSIZED PLLAID KINDA THING

120.   Apparently this team was pretty problematic while practicing and as far as I know they also 1) where the second to last to be chosen and 2) lost this competition ugh

121.    Their center, Dongbin doesn’t know his parts and is.... not good sighs I’m sad he also started crying

122.   Jinwoo has to do all the hard singing parts because he’s the only compentent vocal in the group and just..... ugh poor kid he is going to kill his voice I’m so so so so so sad

123.   LEZZ GO JINWOO IS SO GOOD PLEASE PPL PAY ATTENTION TO HIM 

124.   Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhahahah all the teachers are on the edges of their seats because of how those makeshift vocalists are doing

125.   If Jinwoo doesn’t make it though this evulation I’m going to be really, really, really, really, REALLY sad  

126.   Team 1 has only 2 positions that overdid team 2 positions but they still won bc Jelly Heeseok and Moonbok brought so many votes in. Jinwoo did alright though, not too good but alright

127.   Team 2 lost. Obviously. Ugh. I’m just... sad dude

now it’s really done and it was even sadder than I anticipated

ring me up when u wanna cry about p101 im always up for that 

[death-is-a-new-beginning]

Pale Faced Boy- Take A Chance

Sunshine

A/N: Here you have the next chapter to Pale Faced Boy! Hope ya’ll’s like it.

The next morning I laid in bed, I had been tossing and turning all night. At some point I just gave up on trying to sleep. I stared up at the ceiling for hours, as my mind replayed the events of yesterday. For serving reason I couldn’t get that boy put of my head. I could see his grin perfectly in my mind as he said, “See you tomorrow, sunshine.” All I wanted to do was take that stupid, gorgeous smile and slap it off. Part of me didn’t want to go to school today knowing that he would more than likely be waiting for me. The other tiny part of me wanted to go and see him for some reason. What do I do? I haven’t had this much interaction with anyone besides my parents in a while and I’ve forgotten what it’s like being around people.

Truth is the last time I had a friend was in freshman year. We had been friends since third grade, and all through middle school. During the summer before we became freshman we had hung out quite a bit and then when school started we no longer had classes together, she started making other friends. I tried to make some too but as time went by they only wanted to be friends with her. They only wanted to eat with her, and because they were older, she lost interest in me. That was the day I realized I didn’t want to get that close to people again. They make you promises but they never hold up there end, so all that effort you had made for them eventually all goes to waste.

So now here I am stressing over whether or not I was gonna go to school and face Stiles. I sighed, and sat up while my alarm finally going off. I grabbed my phone turning off my alarm and looked at my notifications. I scrolled down seeing the comments likes and reblogs from the story I had updated and there had been quite a few of them. I smiled feeling content with the outcome, maybe one good thing has come out from this weirdness with that kid.

I kept scrolling down my notifications while walking to my bathroom to see that I had received two text messages. One was from my mom saying that she and dad would be out of town for a few weeks for work and the second one was from a number I didn’t recognized that read, Morning Sunshine, I knew exactly who it was. It was none other than Stiles Stilinski. I promptly texted back How did you get my number? I put my phone down on the counter of my bathroom, I began stripping down so I could take a shower when my phone buzzed again.

555-7603: I have my ways ;)

Me: I think it’s called stalking in the real world

555-7603: Ha ha you’re so funny . Are you coming to school today?

Me: Is it a school day?

555-7603: Yeah?

Me: I will be at school . Idiots these days I swear.

555-7603: Sunshine :( that hurt right in the feels. I just might cry.

I rolled my eyes smile ghosting upon my lips,I didn’t bother replying and took a well deserved shower. When I got out I grabbed my phone and walked into my semi messy room, I walked to my closet looking to see what I would wear today. I decided on a plain grey dress that fell mid thigh and a green and red plaid shirt tied around my waist. I put on a pair of black converse, threw my hair into a messy bun with a pair of earrings. I grabbed my phone, making sure to grab my headphones and backpack while walking out of my room. I passed by the kitchen grabbing a water bottle then made my way out the front door to my car.

I got into my beautiful black jeep wrangler turned it on to hear her purr softly, Oh how I love this car, I thought to myself. I plugged my phone into the aux cord playing a playlist I had made last night called Just Ugh, it fit perfectly to how I felt about Beacon Hills High, I pressed shuffle and reversed out of my driveway. As I got on to the main road Ride by Twenty One Pilots started playing, it brought a smile to my face.

“I just wanna stay in the sun where I find. I know it’s hard sometimes. Pieces of peace in the sun’s peace of mind, I know it’s hard sometimes. Yeah, I think about the end just way too much, but it’s fun to fantasize. All my enemies who wouldn’t wish who I was but it’s fun to fantasize. Oh, oh, I’m falling so I’m taking my time on my ride. Oh, I’m falling so I’m taking my time on my ride. Taking my time on my ride." I belted but when he started raping quickly I stopped singing and just listened happily, drumming my fingers to the beat on the steering wheel.

When the song ended I realized that I was half way to school, ugh am I right? I only got halfway through the next song before I pulled into the parking lot. I was about twenty minutes early which was nice because that meant I could organize my locker and my thoughts. I parked my car, grabbed my bag and headed into hell… I mean school. When I got to my locker, I opened it grabbing things that I would need for my next few classes.

I then tried to organize the miscellaneous things that were messy when suddenly a pair of hands covered my eyes. I felt a warm breath by my ear sending a shiver down my pine. As I struggled against these hands, I heard a voice say, "Guess who?” I have to be honest I screamed, as lame as that sounds. The hands immediately fell from my face,I was turned around to see Stiles laughing so hard he almost fell to the ground.

I punched his shoulder so hard he fell to the ground, I slammed my locker door closed and made my way to my first period class and of course I saw the one person I didn’t want to see, Lynn Grace, my former friend.

I stopped in my tracks looking at her, her face was plastered thickly with make up and she was wearing a pair of super short shorts and a low cut tank top, she had this surprised look on her face as I stood there. She quickly masked her reaction with a smug look. She walked down the stairs coming towards me leaving her friends, I was suddenly grateful that I had decided to look decent, to show her that I was fine without her.

“Well look who we have here, the high and mighty biatch who think she’s better than everyone. Definitely too good to talk to anyone, isn’t that right old friend? You’re so perfect that we peasants aren’t worth even talking to? Funny ‘cause I’m pretty sure I got hot and you’re just not. Who’s on top now?" She asked feeling confident.

"See that’s funny when you were the one who ditched me to be popular. It doesn’t really matter because the girl I made a promise to, doesn’t exist anymore. She was buried a long time ago under all that make up. I guess even that much make up can’t cover up the ugly inside of you. anymore. I don’t talk to you but that’s for obvious reasons. I doubt you could keep up with the conversations I tend to have. They’re quite intellectual and your boobs hanging out might distract you.” I gave her a pointed look at her shirt and she glanced down pulling her shirt up a little. I kept my facial expression blank, but inside all I wanted to do was run to my jeep and cry.

Suddenly Stiles appeared next to me he started to speak as put his arm around me, “Hey Sunshine,you waited-” I shifted my attention to Stiles my expression guarded, he noticed the change in my expression and his demeanor changed to a concerned one.

“I ditched you because you were no fun. You would rather write a story then go to a party, you had were such a dork, that when I saw my chance to move up to bigger and better things,I took it. I never wanted to be friends with you in the first place, the only reason I hung out with you is so that I could get rides home from school, that and my mom made me.” Lynn laughed. I have to admit that my heart cracked even more when she said those things. I looked around and noticed that a crowd had gathered around us.

His eyes squinted as he looked back in the direction I had been looking at and then back at me, he then glared at the girl I thought I knew, “You’re the one who lost out on the amazing person Sunshine is. You might see a dork, but I see someone who is strong and knows what she likes and what she wants. She has class, more than I can see you have. ” He glanced down at me seeing my façade falling quickly then continued, “I’m glad she’s not friends with you anymore, you’re just a user, you always have been. Don’t you dare talk about her like she’s below you, 'cause she’s not. I despise people like you, always trying to tear others down. So sad.” He shook his head disapprovingly.

Stiles moved his arm that was wrapped around my shoulders, so he could intertwine his fingers with mine pulling me in the direction of our first class. I was in a daze and I let him lead me away but not before I looked back at the one person I could barely recognize. Her mouth was opened wide as she looked between me and Stiles. I looked into her eyes and I saw no remorse but she did look sad and unhappy with where she was and who she was. I have to admit that I felt pretty happy she seemed as unhappy as I felt.

For the first time in a long time I was glad he was around as he led me away. Inside I was breaking, I hadn’t seen her in forever, mostly because I was always in the library and if I did happen to see her back facing me, I’d walked in the other direction. It’s been two years since I’ve seen her, face to face at least. I came back to my senses when finally we stopped, I looked around to see that we were inside an empty classroom. I gazed up at the boy who literally pulled me away from breaking down and who defended me.

He seemed as if he was studying me, to see what I was going to do. He looked prepared for anything in that moment, his hand squeezed mine gently. I looked down at our hands intertwined, my hand fit perfectly in his,almost if they were made for each other. I squeezed back gently giving him the smallest smile I could muster.

“You okay Sunshine?” He asked slowly, scanning me carefully.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for taking me away and for standing up for me.” I looked down at the ground embarrassed that I showed my weakness for a measly moment.

His free hand outstretched to my chin and he pulled it up gently so I was looking at him, “I read somewhere that when women say 'I’m fine’ they’re really lying.” He offered a small smile to which I had to chuckle.

“You’re right,” I sighed then continued, “I’m not okay, but class is starting soon and I don’t really want to talk about it.” I stared back into his eyes, his chocolate brown eyes, they looked back at me with a certain kindness I didn’t really understand but deep down appreciated. He nodded and led me to my usual seat in the front and sat next to me, our hands still intertwined placed on his thigh. Stiles typed away on his phone texting someone, and every so often he would squeeze my hand.

Just then the bell rang and people started filing in to the classroom including his best friend Scott. He looked between us and he nodded understandingly, to my surprise he sat on the other side of me. I peered up at him and he gave me a kind smile, “Hey, I’m Scott, although I’m pretty sure you know who I am since we’ve practically grown up together.” I laughed and nodded, “Yeah I live like four houses down from you.”

“You live how far from Scott?” Asked a stunned Stiles. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Four houses, duh.” I responded grinning at him. Then the teacher walked in and I heard Stiles whisper something to the effect of, “How did I not notice her before,” I laughed quietly glancing at this boy who seemed like an anomaly to the formula of life I had come up with.

Stiles eventually let go of my hand so we could pull out or things from our bags and my hand immediately felt the warmth dissipate, but I turned my attention to the teacher as he started the lesson for today.

When the lesson had finally ended I was suddenly glad because I couldn’t focus at all. I kept thinking about what Lynn said and I kept hearing Stiles words firing back at her. I also couldn’t focus because Stiles and Scott kept glancing at me almost as if they were trying to make sure I was okay. I hated feeling so fragile and being treated as such however it was nice that they cared, even though I wouldn’t admit that to them. I gathered my things into my backpack while standing up, as I looked up Stiles had his hand already outstretched for me to hold onto.

I didn’t know if I should hold onto his hand, I still didn’t know this boy and I felt insecure for obvious reasons. He seemed to see that I was undecided so he said,"C'mon Sunshine,“ I reluctantly took the hand, craving the warmth his hand provided even if it was a little sweaty, I didn’t mind too much. His face lit up as he led me to the next class we both have together, I even saw Scott’s face light up a little with a smirk and he walked in front of us.

In a weird sense Scott seemed like he was a leader, maybe it was because he was the Lacrosse captain or if it was something else, but he had a strange air of authority, I shook my head ridding myself of silly thoughts. When we got to our next class Scott said he needed to talk to Stiles for a second.

I let go of Stiles’ hand, walking to my seat, sitting down while glancing to the doorway where they were talking. I caught myself trying to hear what was being said but I couldn’t. I couldn’t believe that yesterday I had screamed at this pale faced boy and today I’m grateful for his presence. What the freaking hell? I did not expect this at all. Me hanging around with McCall or Stilinski? What is going on? Am I losing it? I thought to myself as I pulled out my notebook from my backpack, shaking my head.

Stiles entered the room with a grim expression, he walked over to me, crouching so he could talk to me. He said, "Hey something came up,I have to leave with Scott. I'm so sorry Y/N, we’ll try to come back but I don’t know how long it’ll take.” He looked annoyed and I didn’t know how to feel or how to respond so I put on my blank stare and nodded. After I glanced at him I stared straight ahead, looking at the board.

He stood up, “If you need me just text me, okay?” I just gave him a curt nod to which he sighed then walked out of the classroom. I had built these walls around me for so long that I thought they were strong but just one look at my past and the help of a boy and they’re slowly coming down. I balled up my fist tightly, how could I let that happen?

At lunch time, I wasn’t feeling great, wanting more than anything to be done with school so I could go home and sleep. It was so bad I didn’t want to stay the rest of the day and write in the library. I felt nauseous and dizzy so I called my mom. The phone rang a few times and she answer, “Hi, baby,how are you?”

I responded, “Hey mom, I’m not feeling too great mom, I’m feeling nauseous and tired. How are you and dad? ”

“Oh no my mija is sick, should I come back?” she asked concerned.

“No, I’m okay can you just call the school and let them know I need to go home please?”

“Of course. I’ll call right now, make sure to text me when you get home okay? ”

“Okay. Love you mom, ” I muttered weakly.

“Love you too baby,” and with that she hung up.

I made my way to my locker to see the sillouhette of the girl I once knew. I groaned making my way to my locker. She turned and looking at me smugly she started to open her mouth but before she could say anything I put my hand up cutting her off.

“I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now, can you please just leave me alone? ” I looked at her tiredly.

“Your looking pale, are you okay? Are the headaches back?” She asked feigning concern.

“’m not your problem anymore so don’t worry about it,” was all I said, before grabbing my bag and closing my locker. With that I made my way towards the office leaving her behind like she did to me. Before I got to the office the P/A system called my name asking me to go the office. Relief fled my system as I reached the office.

“Sweety your mom called and she said you need to go home. Are you okay? ” The sweet lady from the office asked.

“I’m just not feeling all to well is all, ” I plastered a smile to my face.

“Sorry to hear that, well I got all your homework from your teachers right here. All you need to do is sign the sign out sheet and get some rest. ” I nodded, signed the sheet and put the materials in my bag.

Once outside, the cool October breeze hit my sense making me feel less constricted. I made my way to my beautiful car, unlocking it and getting in. I turned it on and drove to my salvation, home.

As soon as I got home I dropped my bag on the ground, walking upstairs and into my bedroom. I texted my mom to say that I had gotten home then I stripped down into just my bra and underwear grabbing a oversized shirt and collapsing in bed, immediately falling asleep.

When I woke up, I felt super drowsy still but the nausea had gone away. I picked up my phone to see 20 missed calls from Stiles and 7 texts from him.

Stiles: Sunshine where are you? Stiles: Why aren’t you in class? Stiles: Are you ignoring me? Stiles: Are you mad that I had to leave earlier? Stiles: I’m sorry, Sunshine. Look just let me know that you’re okay? Stiles: Y/N, I’m worried about you, you aren’t responding and you’re not at our table. Stiles: Goddammit Y/N what the heck is going on?!

I felt a tinge of guilt that he was so worried that he called me by my name, so I called him back. It rang twice and then I heard the voice I was growing to know well, “Hello? Y/N where have you been? I’ve been worried sick,” he exclaimed sounding relieved yet tired.

“Yeah sorry about that I went home 'cause I started to feel sick around lunch time. I didn’t sleep well the night before. What time is it by the way?” I asked looking at the darkness outside my window.

“It’s like 1am right now,” he yawned. I began to felt bad that I had called him right now.

“Oh gosh I’m sorry that I called you this late I didn’t even look at the time, ” I rushed, all he did was chuckle saying, “It’s okay, really I’ve been because Scott snores like you wouldn’t believe.” He yawned again, it was almost as if I could picture him rubbing his face tiredly.

“Sunshine, how are you? You know, after yesterday?” He asked suddenly. I didn’t say anything at first, I haven’t really processed anything that had happened. I was kind of void of emotions especially now when I had just woken up. I’m definitely not used to telling anyone my feelings or revisiting my past.

“Y/N? You there?” He asked. The way he said my name sent a flutter of something, making my stomach sink.

“Stiles I don’t think I even know how I feel about what happened yesterday, let alone, in all honesty, be able to communicate that sentiment with someone I barely know.” I croaked out, feeling a lump grow in my throat. It was quiet for a while, so much so I thought he fell asleep but then I heard shuffling and a door close.

“Stiles?” I inquired, suddenly worrying if my honesty was going to finally send this strange boy packing. Why I suddenly cared about this kid I barely knew beat me.

“Stiles?” I repeated.

“Uh, yeah, I’m here. Sorry I couldn’t really hear you over Scott’s snores, so I left the room. That and uh Scott threw a pillow at me.” He explained.

I nodded like an idiot almost as if he could see me and I internally laughed at myself for being momentarily dumb, “Sounds like something Scott would do.” I snickered and rolled my eyes.

“Well he did it, and it’s my room. Anyways, you uh were about to tell me how you felt about yesterday. That girl was such for the lack of a better word jackass.” He said, I could hear him walking somewhere as the wind brushed against the speaker.

“Where are you?” I asked, smoothly changing the subject.

“I’m at home, duh, and don’t change the subject and answer the question.” He retorted. Damn, I thought he caught me. I’ve been trying to evade this conversation but nothing was working.

“Stiles-” I groaned.

“Don’t Stiles me. Talk to me Y/N.” He retaliated seriously. For the third time during this phone call he called me by my name, the way it rolled of his tongue made my heart race. For a second I thought I heard an engine roar to life, but I quickly shoved the thought away.

“Stiles, it’s not easy for me, opening up, not to anybody not even my parents. I’m used to dealing with things on my own, I’m not used to someone caring about how I feel about things. It’s easier this way and I don’t get hurt in the process. That’s how I deal with things. I’m sorry,” I murmured the last part quietly. Then I heard the door bell ring which seemed weird since it was you know almost two in the morning.

“Hold on, I think someone just rang my doorbell.” I said.

“Really, what if it’s some murderer?” He quipped.

“It’s not funny, I could be killed and my last conversation would have been with you, how unfortunate, really.” I growled, really hating the fact that no one was home.

I quickly put on a pair of shorts grabbing my bat as I made my way quietly downstairs. As I got to the front door I could see the porch light on and a shadow in front of the door. I peered into the peep hole seeing Stiles’s face with his phone to his ear. I unlocked the door cursing under my breath.

When the door opened and a smiling Stiles was revealed, I wanted nothing more than to punch him again. He put down his hand ending the call as I did the same, “Sunshine, fancy seeing you here,” he laughed, what an a hole, I was genuinely freaking out and here he was at my doorstep joking around.

“What the hell are you doing here Stilinski? Mind you I am holding a bat,” I asked upset. He rolled his eyes and gave me a look asking me if he could come in so I stepped to the side letting him enter my humble abode. Once inside, I closed the door, making sure it was locked.

“Look, I couldn’t sleep with Scott snoring and you clearly need to talk aboutwhat happened, even though your trying desperately to act like it didn’t phase you, when I know the truth because I was there. I’m here to ask you to take a chance, a risk albeit and trust me to be here for you and to listen to you.” He stepped closer to me, looking me dead in the eyes with an expression I couldn’t really place.

“ Take a chance? On who? On you? Someone I barely know? Trust is earned not given freely Stilinski, I don’t really have a lot in supply.” I chuckled bitterly, gazing at him incredulously, stepping away from him while making my way upstairs to my room.

“I don’t need a lot of your trust, I just need a bit so I can prove to you that I’m real, I want to be here for you but I can only do as much as you let me.” He retaliated confidently. As I entered my room, I set down my bat by my bed and I sat down on my bed with my back against the headboard while he mimicked my movements. I stared at him for a while , deciding what I was going to do and if I was going to share things with this kid I was beginning to trust.

“So what will it be Y/N? Are you going to let someone in or are you going to run and hide behind your computer screen again.” He pressed.

I sighed, feeling tired, “Where do you want to start?” I yawned, relaxing against the headboard.

“From the beginning, obviously.” He replied in a smart butt way that only Stiles could pull of so I rolled my eyes and begun my tale of why I refused to be around people and why I don’t get close to them.

The next morning I woke up with my head resting on his chest with his arm wrapped around my waist. His mouth was open a little and soft little snores were vibrating from his chest as he inhaled. As I watched him sleep peacefully, a piece of me never wanted to wake up from whatever unreal dream this was.

A/N: I hope you have a good day or evening and remember that you are lovely and perfect to me.

Love,

CaptainHopelessRomantik-808

[stilloursongliveson-blog]

Beast’s Answers :)

ready, set, sex.

1. Are looks important in a relationship? Not really but kinda. Like... Obviously, it's most important to love them for who they are and be attracted to the personality..all that. but you know... you don't really wanna be with someone who you think is ugly. Does that sound bad? idk. You gotta have some level of physical attraction, in my opinion.

2. Are relationships ever worth it? of course..they're everything

3. Are you a virgin? nottt really lol I guess some peoples definition of "virgin" is different but..no

4. Are you in a relationship? Yes mam

5. Are you in love? Yesssss mam

6. Are you single this year? Well I was, but now I'm not :)

7. Can you commit to one person? Absolutely

8. Describe your crush Welll...she's my girlfriend, so I wouldn't really call it a crush

9. Describe your perfect mate she has brown hair and brown eyes and cute cheeks and sings and loves music and is sweet and funny and thoughtful and nice and listens alot and talks alot and likes things I like and is unique and different and down to the earth and caring and her initials are p.a.m.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? I never know how to answer this. I wanna say no...but then again...maybe kinda sorta cause that's how I felt when I saw you.

11. Do you ever want to get married? Yes

12. Do you forgive betrayal? I will always forgive, even if the other person doesn't say sorry. That's just how I am.

13. Do you get jealous easily? Not really, I never have

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? didn't you ask me that already

15. Do you have any piercings? yes...two lip piercings..4 regular ear piercings..and cartilage

16. Do you have any tattoos? No, but I want them

17. Do you like kissing in public? Yes :) just not too much, but just enough

20. Do you shower every day? Nopeee, thats overrated

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I don't think...I know :)

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Mayyyybbeeee

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? For sure. I would never cheat...never ever ever for all eternity.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Who knows

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? I already am and of course I want to be

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yes

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? mhmm :)

28. Have you ever been cheated on? I still am not totally sure. I don't think I really was..but I think he was just crossing some boundaries

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? absolutely not

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? never, no thank you

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? yep, several times

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? my vocabulary is like...second grade level so. i have no idea. *googles unrequited* Oh....ohhhh.... yes. Yes I have.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man? yes..not all the way...but yes

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? yes

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? yes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? yep

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? not really

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? sort of

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? many times

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? poem, yes

41. Have you had sex so far this year? not yettt..aha...

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? well, it really depends. I could kiss for a long long time cause I love kissing. but I mean... ya... it depends. lol

43. How long was your longest relationship? like 9 months..ish? but we broke up a couple months in between so long idk how you calculate that

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? boyfriends-2 girlfriends-3

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011? none

46. How many times did you have sex last year? uhh... like.. 3 or 4?

47. How old are you? 22

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? I wouldn't say anything, I'd just cry

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? ugh, so many things. I can't choose. She just is my favorite thing.

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? hell no and I don't think i'd really consider them my first love afterall

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yeppp

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? *sighs* yes but way too long and sad of a story

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? I don't think they're really mad and maybe i'm just taking them the wrong way but I don't really know. I think she's just tired of me..I don't really think it's the fact that I'm dating someone. *shrugs*

54. Is there someone you will never forget? A lot of people.  I don't really forget anyone.

55. Share a relationship story. One time..I met this girl on tumblr and she had a girlfriend. But I really liked her and she really liked me I guess. That was two months ago. *whispers* she's my girlfriend now. the end :)

56. State 8 facts about your body 1-I have blue eyes 2-I have naturally light brown hair..kinda wavey/curlyish 3-I'm about 5'8 4-My boobs are like 36-38D..sometimes C..it depends on the bra I guess. 5-My teeth are not the greatest.. lots of problems there 6-I have pretty long legs and a short torso 7-I have really hairy arms..and other things XD 8-I'm fat. point blank lol

57. Things you want to say to an ex Can I say something to all of them? That seems more satisfying. #1-I'm happy things worked out for you. #2-You're disgusting #3-What the hell were we thinking? #4-Fuck you

58. What are five ways to win your heart? I don't know man...just do everything my girlfriend does.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) meh..maybe

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? like..6 years

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? it really depends on the person

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? again... do whatever my girlfriend does.

63. What is your definition of “having sex”? I feel like it kinda depends if you're with a guy or a girl and what you consider to be sex. In my mind it's pretty much anything past just kissing.. like once you're even just touching, down there at least...I consider that to be sex.

64. What is your definition of cheating? crossing any boundaries with another person..and really jsut doing anything behind the persons back or just being unfaithful.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? it kinda depends..I like a lot of things

66. What is your favourite roleplay? eh, that's not really my thing but I guess I'd have to find out/experiment

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? really just...sitting somewhere with a nice view and jsut sitting and talking with them and looking in their eyes..just real undistracted quality time, in a nice setting

68. What is your sexual orientation? bi/lesbian..idk, I considered myself bi for a really long time..but now i'm more just like.... lesbian.

69. What turns you off? a lot of things

70. What turns you on? not much I mean...

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? oh god

72. What words do you like to hear during sex? fuck me... my name.... i like that... and just moans and breathing and screaming

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? just unexpected/spontaneous affection or verbal affirmations

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? um, I'm really not sure how to answer that

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? write a song for me :)

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? I don't know..I'm kinda spontaneous. I like to come up with creative date ideas or gifts or just..being randomly complimenting

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? It doesn't really matter to me

78. What’s your dirtiest secret? that's for me to know lol..in general, i'm just a dirty person inside

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? umm, when I met you and you told me you were already with someone

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? today :)

81. Who are five people you find attractive?     1- you(Belle)     2- channing tatum     3- tina fey     4- emma watson.. i didn't used to, but I do now     5- gwen stefani lots more. the last three..it's more just like.. I think you're really pretty..not attractive in the sense i'd like to fuck them lol

82. Who is the last person you hugged? my mom

83. Who was your first kiss with? well if you wanna be technical...this black boy named patrick in 2nd grade XD but what i'd consider like my real first kiss, my ex boyfriend nathaniel when I was 14

84. Why did your last relationship fail? really a lot of reasons. she just gave up on me. but really, we weren't a good fit at all anyways so it would have ended up that way one way or another

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? lol that's a funny question. I don't consider it like..."I got you from the internet"..that makes it sound like you're just some fictional character or figment of imagination XD but, we met online so I guess yes if that’s what they mean lol

[inthewordsofahalfgoddes]

Free Writing

I feel sick. On friday i came home dizzy feeling like I was dead walking and passed out sleeping for most of the night into the day. I woke up sunday feeling a lot better but as i tried to eat my body was not having it. Even now I can’t stomach too much but apples and even then that is pushing it. i feel like at any second i will puke but It’s a faint sensation. I had two dreams that had me startled and put a slight cloud on my day until i forced the thoughts away. The first was strange and happened about 2 days ago. i was in an apartment listening to a friend of mine talk about his life. I was trying my best to fight trying to have sex with him and failing. even going so far as to entering the bathroom with him. ugh. i was pretty upset at myself in my dream cause I watched myself do it but in my head I was like ‘why are you doing this. don’t do it’. so anyway I have a pair of headphones on connected to like a walkkie talkie and I hear my ex’s voice on the other end. he’s talking about old money business and i click the talk end and ask him to repeat it. He is shocked and he says ‘your voice is too much right now’ and I apologize and ask him to repeat it. he starts to cry and i can hear the emotion and I look up feeling his pain. It was strange because I didn’t really care too much about the situation. I feel like I already moved on from him a long time ago and I didn’t regret my decision at all but haring the pain and emotion in his voice was too much. the dream ends and its a shallow dream so i know im near to akinng up. I carried that with me for the majority of the morning and it bothered me because i feel like i am being punnihsed for how the relationship went. I dragged it on for longer then it needed to be. wayyy longer and I still look back now and regret it but I’m learning to move past it and not dwell too much on it. I eventually was brave enough to face being alone and potentially being unloved so there is that. The other dream happened today. jesus had a weir dtanget and left a silly conversation we were having. i think he really just wanted to step away from me and i was actually pretty okay with it. I feel when we talk too much it puts a strain on our friendship. i wanna-say relationship but...I don’t like that. Inn my head im much more happy seeing it as a friendship because that means its safe. i almost don’t give myself any reason to be jealous  about others and i can give him my love in friendship and that is much more better for me. but some things he said got to me. He was talking about how dull and boring my life would be without him and at first i just joked about it but now I’m startting to see his point. Would i have been exposed to music without him? not as intense bth.My obsession with music and desire to persue it in some shape or form was inspiredby him and who he pointed out to me. I covet his songs so much. They are like staples for me and i dunno im actually listening to one of his songs now (let ‘em know by bryson tiller). So now that he has done his typical thing pretending to be upset and leaving “for couple of days” I have time to think. Its also venus retrograde whihc is like time to revisit and reassess how I see love, how i want to be loved and how I love others. also how my relationships look like and if there is a need for change. This is a simplistic view but its my understanding of it. So I know his venus is in Leo. which lmao is very fitting. hmm sometimes i wonder if I need to slow down with my thoughts of him. I am fascinated by him, pused by him, fired up by him, irritated, annoyed, and some feelings that i cant or wont name. So where does that leave me? Sometimes in my head i’ll call him allan and that makes me pause. Am i waiting for a saviour again? if i am i need to step back and realize that that only ends in pain and dissapointed hope. My last relationship i leanre da lot but it was under duress. it was painful and like forced me out of my caccoon under his hand and i felt so constrained as i tried to heal. it was too much for me and he never did understand me. Now that i’m just feeling jesus out I now see i see him as a saviour and i’m torn bewteen seeing him as one and being okay with it. is it so bad to have friends as liferafts? but at the smame time i dont think he should be treated like one :/ idk its weird though things have been feeling so surreal to me. watching my hands type and literally giving form to my words is unsettling to me. I feel like something is happening to me and i’m scared that its something bad. i don’t rmember being so sick before. in 3 years i only ever experieneced slight sniffles and here i am full blown sick and shit. i’m worried for myself and my body.I ask for michael’s healing and proetction. I am in a strange place and I wonder what will become of all of this. I feel so out of place. maybe its the books i have been reading too. When i read i somtimes carry bits of it into my life. i wake up in this world slightly disjointed and off. I finished reading parable of the talents and that left me shook. i have oto write a book review for that but ive been avoiding it for some reason? anyway I’m a lil way halfway trough lilith’s brood and I find the book fascinating and also scary in a way. i’m not scraed perse about the alients. or maybe i am idk. I’m more scared of the future where women and children will be vulnerable. why is it that males resourt to being bullies again once oscieties are gone? why sare they the most dnagerous? i mean even now they still are and its wrapped up in laws, decorms etc but in a dystopian futuere? terrifying. I couldnt be like Olomina and dress like a man because I am too fullfigured and womenly to pass. i am worried for myself. I just want to be free....i dunno what is going on with me? I ffeel like im drifting in and out of reality and things feel dreamy. I had a thought about my empathy and pisces power and like...maybe all my empathy is for books? thats when i feel so misty and out of it after reading ike my mind really led me away. im happy im reading again at least. it unsettles me that i am becoming  a women. I am entranced with myself seeing the curves, my skin and body seeing how beautiful it is but also seeing how dangerous it is to me and my life. How many times will people punish me for how i look? men mostly. and i dont mind suing what power i apparently have over them but its like i know it will be used aaginst me soon. i never feel wrong for knowing that my body is beautiful. I know it is and i know i am beautiful and a creature many may want to touch and have. I am growing into it and i feel like a flower that is maturing before peoples eyes and im afraid. i know fear is bad so let me say mor elike it unsetles me. but with chnage comes growth and i feel like because of my freeizing myself as i unthaw and turn into who i was supposed to be i am going to blossom very quick. its also weird too because as I say i want this this and this in my body over time i gain that. i was so e skinny and i wished to be thicker and now here i am getting thicker and i know if i atemore id be even thikcer and yet my stomach has not changedd and actually has remained smaller then it as before? i am also finally looking pretty. i felt like such an ugly child and now i wonder if its not that im being graced with it now but that i am seeing it in myself. i know i have eyes that can trap people. I actually look away to make them feel comfortable because if i stare too long at eople they either get caught up in my face (men especially) or they paue for a second.. idk. i feel like im changing t into something that ahs power that i am not comfortble handling;. or am i just being dramatic? the voice in my head is soft and quiet and that is the true me. I have to protect her because thhis world wants to hurt her and she is too good for it. that sounds weird.. But i know i have to keep this shell around me because peope see weakness and want to go for it/. when i gaine dback my sag and leo self i have used it like a shield against people and emotions. only a few know about my soter side/. jesus nampende and allan do. allan has used it and used it agains me to quiet myself, jesus looks down on it and i think nampende is the only one who sees it and sympathzes with it. alone i am soft and always ondering. when im with peoplei am dynamic lughing being wild and having fun. i know that that needs to be my face to protect me. these days i feel like i need to make a descion.  I dont know when and what i need to decide on but i know something will happen soon in my life. something big. idk.maybe its the new moon in virgo? or maybe its just me. im usually okay with momnets of confusion but coupled with this sickness and weird feeling im worried. i had my period so im worired im pregnant but....idk.anywasy on a more shallower side im getting my hair done and im trying to get a new phone. i know its mostyly because i wanna just fuck show people i actually am cute asf? for some reason i cna never capture how beauiful i am in pictures. maybe its the dymanicness of my face. idk i mosty want jesus to se it i think he thinks im ugy af and im like not??? if he saw me in person i dont think he would be saying and talking to me the ay he does. but i cant help things and tb its better that way. if i eve rsee him it will be a good suprise for me when i smirk at him like boyyyy you don fucked up;. anywyas im being etty and yes my exercises ha and will be fueled with this drema in mind veen tho i know it may not actually happen nor go the way i want ti to go. ughh sometimes i forget that im 23 and dont need to have it ll figured out. like thast not un expuse but i always be putting so much pressure on myself to know so much and catch up because i froze so much of myself. i know my body ma=eant well with how it chose to protect me but sis, i suffer lol.I am trying my best to just do my best. I feel tested and tested constantly but i guess with trying to be a better person and working on yourself. oh wait. PLUTO. i remmeber asking pluto a month ago to reveal all my bad shit a lotttt over the course of a month and sicne its a slow moving planet its prob now just hitting me. yikes. well if i cna make it through this then i really will be rdy for anything. so much pressure and stimulation i know i can survive but damn i need a break and shit.well i have tomorrow off so im probgonna chill and dhit. i have a meeting with some witches and other femmes in about an hour so lmao idk man im just trying my best. I hoope the universe sees that im trying because awd jesus i am. I love myself through this no matter what. the feeling that im gonna die is creeping up again its so strange i hvent felt this oh...its probably just anxiety over this sickess. ugdwheteriutuieyte45465hthrethuwt im gonna stop lol this has been too long already (peep the change in tone thast my sag self shining through)

[krayns]

All :p

THANKS A! okay ill skip the ones M already asked me!

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? 

LOLOL, well it was the GC so I would say hey bitches wus good. ACTUALLY. I’D BE LIKE YALL CAN LOOK BUT CANT TOUCH CAUSE YALL BITCHES BE GETTING THE WRONG IDEA, and told yall bout a good million times Im just not interested. Pls take a hint.

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

WELL. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, bc he was a lowlife scrub who I do not need in my life at all. Blocked & erased my history 

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? 

UM…. yes bc I would care about my partner and would want the best for them……. so I wouldnt want them on drugs 24/7

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? 

OMG its exactly 6 letter BISH.

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? YA GIRL WAS DRUNNNNK IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE 

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

OMG NO. Im never the one to mess it up SMH, im the one left to clean up the mess SMFH 

7. What does your last received text say? “Or nahhh” 

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? 

LMFAO what kind of question. YALL REALLY THINK I SIT THERE AND COUNT EVERYTIME I KISSED MY MAN LIKE LOL?????????  Lets just say I kissed him WAY too many times than he deserved. (V many times tho bc who doesn’t love a good smooch)

9. Where was your last kiss at? 

BRUH. my ex mans house OK NEXT 

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? 

well I have 2, and a few hours ago before they both went to sleep bc they youngins. 

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Ya girl likes her steaming hot cup of TEA in the morning. Gotta have my daily tea. 

12. Where did you sleep last night? 

My mans crib ;) why you care tho?

13. Do you think relationships are hard? LOL. They’re hard if you make em hard. And if you’re partner is stressin you then hell yeah. But I mean no relationship is perfect. Its all about working through those hard times and that honestly makes the relationship stronger. 

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? 

YES. I would’ve left the trash ass ugly piece of garbage that treated me like shit and used the hell out of me, before I got super attached to him and let him walk all over me. DEFS wish I could’ve left his fuck boy ass long time ago, shouldn’t have let things lasted as long as they did.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO. bruh. YOU ARE ASKING FOR A WORLD WAR 3. im crying could you imagine. OH he would be shook. That or he would have the best sex of his life lbr. 

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Sunny when I gotta go out, Rainy when I’m inside/ at night. BC YA GIRL HATES GOING OUT IN THE RAIN. Womans are not tryna look like a wet cat. 

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? 

Actually yes quite a few, people I knew from school, also I think Selena Gomez? My middle name is kinda basic.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

None of the above ;) 

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

PART OF ME: I REALLY HOPE SO bc ya girl a hopeless romantic 

OTHER PART OF ME: HONESTLY IDEK BC MANS ARE SO WHACK THESE DAYS, HARD TO FIND A QUALITY QT, and honestly im doing me these days like mans can wait BYE 

20. Does anyone like you?

Jesus! My boy JC. Dont know if anyone else likes me bc like I clearly can’t read minds so?

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

Besides family, no one else is ringing a bell

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? 

Nope

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

Currently: My EX, Alicia from AYTO (tv show) (snake ass bitch), 

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yessss many times. Like theres so many ideas I have. I would probs get one like on my side, back, lower waist, or behind my ear? Either something cute or something with meaning.

25. In the past week have you cried? 

Yes I think I had a moment the other day.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? 

A cockerspaniel. 

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Depends on my mood. I really like showers tho, preferably with my man 

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Not yet ;)

29. Do you think you’re old?

Honestly sometimes I feel old asf

30. Do you like text messaging? 

TBH not really. I prefer having that face to face, talking through text is too much miscommunication. 

31. What type of day are you having? 

A swell day, kinda was in my feels earlier but ya girl got it together. 

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

YASSSS. I’ve wanted one for a while, but now I’m like do I want one that bad? It would be cute af THO

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

WARM WARM WARM. No ones tryna freeze their ass off. Ya girls an Island baby 

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Jesus Christ. 

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

RELATIONSHIPS, FUCK FLINGS ARE JUST NOT FOR ME. I am not meant for that fling life 

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Im quite wild tbh when you get to know me

37. What song are you listening to? 

Currently: Straight Up & Down by Bruno Mars 

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? 

Hellllll YEAH 

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? 

Yes, I’d say my Moms, Ash, Rach or my sister Tia

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

OK. WELL…………………………………… dont ask me bout this rn im confused. But I kinda also have feelings for my ex ex man who wasnt really my man but still he is literally like my ideal man and ive been seeing him a few times and im triggered UGH my first uni LOVE FML fuck he has me WEAK ASF

41. When did you last receive a text message? 

A second ago: so 1:55 AM 

42. What is wrong with you right now?

NOT A GAWD DAMN THING BISH. 

no but real talk school out here draining me. ALSO IM V CONFUSED BOUT STUFF. 

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

YO thats my girl. RIDE OR DIE since 7th grade. I know her like the back of my hand and likewise for me. 

44. Does anyone disgust you? 

HAAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA, you already fucking know the answer. TRASH ASS EX MAN. Also fuck boys just disgust and erk my soul in general. 

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Depends on who’s asking 😏 but hey if I like you, you cute, nice, funny, LOYAL, determined I mean I would probs say yes. ALONG WITH MY OTHER WANTS: smells good, good style, nice hair, kind, TALLLLLL, athletic, 

But hey I mean he don’t have to fit all these categories, im just being extra here 

46. Are you in a good mood right now? 

Currently Yes :D

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

My mom

48. What color shirt are you wearing? 

Not wearing a shirt oooooooops 😳

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? 

YUP. dont wanna repeat bc it was honestly the DOUCHIEST thing I’ve ever heard in my life and it makes me sick to my stomach that this literally came out of a mans PIE HOLE. i cant. 

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Already gave up on em. LIKE UP OUT OF MY LIFE. blocked and erased that history 

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Not really my ex ex man I still kinda like. BC my ex man was not the one that a fell hardest for so nah. IF IT WAS HIM THEN I WOULD. 

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

ummmmm noooo????

53. Do you like rain? 

Only when I’m inside, or about to sleep. That Netflix and cuddles possible chill typa weather ya feel 

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Nope, unless the liqs turns them into a monster then yes I would care. 

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? 

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL😳😳😳 HONEST TO GOD IM EITHER STRAIGHT UP OR SO LOWKEY. Like im TOO GOOD AT THIS. I could be crushin so hard on someone and they would never know bc im too good at hiding it.

56. Do you like to cuddle? 

YES LOOOOOOOOOVE. your girl likes her doses of cuddles. BABS like getting cuddled too ): 

57. Are you shy? 

LOL HONEST YES. IM SO SHY AROUND CUTE BOYS OR LIKE PEOPLE I DONT KNOW. But once I get comfortable with you whoever you are im defs not. YA GIRL WILD AF

58. Do you get along with girls?YASSSSSSSS girl power bitch. LOVE MY GIRLS. Love hyping and empowering up my girls. 

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

YEA SHE MY BAE :* 

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

STRESS. LOL jks but omg phone, lipgloss (bc you never know if you eva gonna kiss a QT), the normals 

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

UM. NO!!!! TF! ARE YOU WHACK. NEVER WOULD YOU EVER CATCH ME IN A JUMBIE INFESTED PLACE. NAH NAH

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

YES. OBVI. I’m that long term typa gyal ;) Im that ride or die typa girl

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? 

LOOOOL. Lets not think back to that time, I already ctrl alt and DELETE. BOI BYE 

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

um YES. stop. putting. me. in. my feelS. But lets just say it wouldn’t just end with a kiss on the forehead ;) 

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? 

Well im cute so……….. everyday something cute happens aka ME :)

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

21, and the rest were family SO LOL 

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?   

honestly i can do my own nails, but its nice to treat your self

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? 

ZEBRA, your girl is a zebra print stan, my whole room is practically this print 

69. Do you have any stickers on your car? 

i dont own a car, but the car I drive has a “princess on board sticker” which is for my little sister but HEY its suitable for me too so 

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

Lil Wayne… not about that country/ tim buck two. But tbh I dont listen to either of em 

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?  

IPHONE 6 GANGGGGGGGGG

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

Maybe like last year? Usually get pizza pizza

73. Do you like diet soda?   

NAH, diet taste kinda weird 

74. What color are the walls in your room?    

Its like an olive green, but I want to re paint, maybe a shade of pink 

75. Are you 16 or older?    

older…. why you tryna holla?

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?  

I did…. show got mad boring tho. 

77. Do you have a job?   

Not currently, in school tho

78. What are your initials?   

K.M.B BITCHHHHHHHEEEZ

79. Did you ever have braces? 

nope, but the dentist always ask me if i had braces and always say how nice my teeth are :D

80. Are you from the south?  

NAH NAH, IM NORTH JAX FAM

81. What does your last status on facebook say?  

um???? I think I promo’ed Ash’s travel VLOG, check that shit out tho!!!!!!!

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? 

CRTL.ALT.DELTE. 

NO BISH

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? 

I would say my dad bc I grew up with him? but i tell my mom and step mom more personal stuff/ everything so

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? 

I think it was suicide squad.

86. Do you smoke?    

Nah, not on those greens fam

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?  

DEPENDS. On location and look. 

88. Is your phone touch screen?    

YUP

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? 

Well my hair is wavy and I usually just leave it natural. I love straightening my hair but takes way too much strength and energy out of me.

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?  LMFAO YES. TO GO TO SLEEPOVER AT ONE OF MY MANS HOUSE IM CRYING @GOD forgive me father 

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? 

DEFS POOL OR OCEAN LOL BOUT LAKE OR RIVER BYE 

94. Are you single or in a relationship?   

Doing me. Living life. Doing whatever the hell I want. I am happy and thats all that matters. Not letting mans bring me down, have me stressing, crying myself to sleep, or crying until i have no more tears to cry

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?  

Texting my squad in the GC, talking about waste mans 

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?  

Fireworks in my heart: probably in the summer on my first date with trash 

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?   

YES bc I stay taking cute pics, im obsessed with taking fire pics

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

NOPE. Always know my limit

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Hate is a v strong word. I think if anyone I really disliked I’ve removed, I may have some fakes from like HS but thats about it.

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:   PROBABLY TICK TOK, YO MY GRADE 7 ASS WOULD WHINE UP TO THIS SONG, MAJOR TRACK 

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?  noPE, but honestly i wish I did bc I wanna go somewhere warm