#this show is so healing to me it always has been

[astralspen]

Something amazing about In Stars and Time is how it makes you feel what Siffrin feels.

And yes, when you go through Act 5 and everything breaks down that's cool.

But when Siffrin feels loved and safe, I think that's what's special. That's what makes this game and these characters so special to me.

As someone who, too, had a similar feeling of feeling unlovable for a very long time. This game really healed that part of me.

When the timeloops start, and Siffrin clings to being useful, you still feel little bits of love. Small, barely there, a little distanced, because Siffrin feels distanced. But it's still there. The party looks out for you, pays attention to you, makes stupid jokes with you.

As you go through, you feel love through Loop. Loop who despite all the teasing and bullying helps. Helps the person who they so wish they could be. The one who holds their own heart, who has the family they lost. Loop reaches out to you, reminds you, you're here, I see you. It hurts, but I see you. And I will always see you and sit with you. And I will keep you from becoming as detached as I did, whether that be by annoying you or having a heart to heart or just yapping in general.

You feel love from the head housemaiden. That cruel kind as she weeps for your situation, and crys tears you can not. As she apologizes over and over again. Euphrasies loves by showing you the painful kind of mercy, the one that stabs you in your heart and makes you want to scream, because she loves through pity. Through pitying you and your suffering. No matter how much it hurts it is love nonetheless.

And finally, in the end, after everything you've done, after everything you went through. You feel love again. This time in your face, so burning and bright that you can not ignore it, you feel loved from the very people you loved from the start. The party who runs in to save you, despite everything you said. Who tells you it's ok, you were going insane, we may be a little mad at what you said, but in the end that doesn't matter. Because we love you. And man, when they really showed the unconditional love, I was going to cry. Because a love like that, especially one with the party, is so hard to find. And it's so precious.

Finally, you see love, one more time. Twohats. The Loop fight. Loop, who is trying to kill you, Loop who is so jealous because that is the love they so wanted. They want their family back. Loop who despite everything. They still can't kill Siffrin. Siffrin, who despite being forced to fight again, who could drop dead at any moment because of his craft exhaustion, refuses to oblige Loops request. They both refuse to kill. Because they still love each other. Siffrin who pulls Loop into a hug, and apologizes. Apologizes to who they once were, the Siffrin who should've gotten this. The one who had their family and their heart stolen from them. The Siffrin who never got to feel love. He thanks who they are now, Loop. For sticking with them despite everything. Who watched Siffrin, guided them, gave them a shoulder to cry on, bantered with them so Siffrin did not lose himself. Who despite everything, still decided to help. Siffrin isn't mad at Loop, because Siffrin knows, he would do the same. Siffrin gives Loop back all the love they gave. He let's Loop move on, knowing they're loved. That they always have been. Loop accepts that their family is gone, that they loved them all the same. They learn that even with them gone, they were still loved. Loop is allowed to be happy as they leave.

And isn't that just what this game is about? That no matter what, everyone deserves to be loved. To know it too, and to be happy. And that's what healed me a bit. Because if even the King, who spent his days weeping for a kingdom long gone, who lost all his family and could not build a new one, who froze everything in time, was still able to know and remember the love he had in the end, then why can't I? Why can't anyone? If even the ones who hated and cried and destroyed everything, the ones who hid it all until they couldn't, who didn't understand their emotions and felt trapped within a construct, who didn't feel like them no matter how much they changed, then can't we, too, love and be loved?

This game shows that love does not have to be romantic, does not have to be displayed in any way, is not something earned, but is a basic right for all of us. And for that, I thank it.

[marsmaximoff]

❤️‍🩹; healing caresses ᜊ

content warning: gn!reader (married). comfort, fluff. his illness and cheating are mentioned.

word count: 349 ^^

author's note: the emperors' hype is dying, you say? not on my blog. this will ALWAYS be a caracalla fan account, and im gonna post more about him, i promise. i just got distracted with season two of squid game which i'm also gonna post more about (it'll be about the pink guards hehe). anyways, i think no one is gonna read this but i hope im wrong SJKSJSK. ps: english is not my mother language, im sorry for the mistakes. enjoyyy <3

divider by @saradika-graphics !!

his fluffy and slightly messy ginger locks act like the softest of silks around my fingers. the soothing gesture slowly bringing him back, melting away the agitation. all showing on the loosening of his shoulder muscles, his now even breathing, and the way he leans into my touch, seeking that unwavering love i so unconditionally provide.

“what…did i say this time?” he asks the question slowly, with caution, almost absentmindedly. i don’t know what makes me feel worse: the fact he doesn’t remember or the way he wants to. “do not worry about it.” my hand does not cease its movement. “i…i wish to know.” he shifts, pressing his head on my lap more onto my stomach, as if bracing himself. i have never enjoyed these conversations, loathing how much self-deprecation they bring. if he’s lucky enough to forget, why would i plague his mind again?

“you questioned spoke about my loyalty, my fealty”, as usual, “stated i would fancy the idea of leaving you, which i will never”, i assure him firmly. fortunately, his words don’t pierce my heart anymore. i do not let them, for it is not my husband who utters them. “they shall not get to your head, i… i did not…” i know how difficult such words are for him, acknowledging the illness that slowly rots all he has ever been.

“love, don’t concern yourself. i feel all right, what matters to me is that you do. i am already aware that you do not mean any of it.” some masters warned me i would tire of so much consolation, but it comes easy when the love is pure, i believe. “thank you, my love. i assume it is not effortless”, he continues with a sigh, “but you must know how highly i value your company and patience. it warms me”, his embrace tightens around me, as if reinforcing the genuine confession. “that will on no occasion change, you have me forever”, i say with a loving smile before pressing a soft kiss to his head. boyish giggles surround us, delightedly squeezing our hearts.

[slasherflicks999]

new oc/sona yaaaaaay!

oh how i wish i had all those piercings (bridge come back to me💔)

can we guess where his name came from gang (suspiciously username shaped name)

i actually really enjoy his character design and i literally color picked his color pallet from a diagram(?) that shows how a bruise heals and it worked out LMAOO sooo new character design life hack

more info and lots of general yapping about him after the break if you care to read :3 and i yap a LOT i have lots to say about him bc its been a while since i genuinely developed an oc LMAO

cw for LOTS and LOTS of talk of death if you do decide to read! just in case :3

first of all you may be thinking “5’6? short king!” and i will have you know i actually made him taller than i am irl by a few inches LMAOOO whoops t boy swag will do that to ya

anyways the thing about his color pallet being based off of that of a literal bruise IS actually relevant because he is literally immortal and is CONSTANTLY getting injured like all the time. i think conveying info about characters via their color pallets is fun and i wanna do more of it so hehe. plus green and red and purple are a nice combo and it worked out very well :3 also another little note about his design: he’s a very creative and artistic person and i wanted to show that through his clothes being somehow modified and i think i did that well too. trying to properly get back into making actually decent and thoughtful character designs so im proud of myself :3

that being said his immortality causes him a SHIT load of problems. i feel like being immortal would really suck LMAO but more-so i feel like i dont see people do much with the idea of immortality in terms of horror or at least not from what i’ve seen. like im still figuring out his lore but the basics are: he has no clue who his dad is and found out he was immortal at a somewhat young age but literally his entire life he’s been viewed as just kind of off?? like he looks human and for the most part acts it but he just has certain traits that humans…. do not have. his eyes glow in pics like a nocturnal animal’s would and his teeth are suspiciously sharp and he gets weird cravings for raw meat which he can somehow digest perfectly fine with absolutely no issue but he’s not like OVERTLY some otherworldly creature he’s just a little weird. a tad strange even. possibly even kind of unsettling depending on who you ask.

and i like to imagine these are a lot of things that were present in his childhood too, like his mother would wake up to the sound of rummaging in the kitchen and find him at the ripe old age of five just gnawing at a whole raw steak in the dark. he’s just sort of always been like that and didn’t realize it was weird until he was older. (is a lot of this used as metaphors for undiagnosed neurodiversity/mental illness? …..iii dont knowwww :3 (yes) (although not every aspect of him is a total reflection of myself, he is still his own character in many respects lolol))

but in general this ends up causing him all sorts of issues in all sorts of millions of ways. for one he has sort of a fragile sense of self because he doesn’t even know what he is?? he knows he can’t just be a regular old human because of all the previously mentioned reasons and a few more, but that aside he has no idea what he is. he also doesn’t know pretty much anything about how his immortality works beyond what he’s experienced and what the others have told him during the times when he’s “dead,” he has no idea how his aging is affected by it because he seems to be aging relatively normally so far, he has no clue if he will EVER die for good/if there’s any way to kill him, he has no idea how his body seems to heal the most insane fatal injuries as if nothing happened, and much more quickly than a normal human would, he kinda doesn’t know jack shit about himself and it pisses him off a little bit!

it also has just caused him lots of trauma as you can probably imagine. lots of dissociation everywhere he looks

moving on to how his immortality actually works: like i said there’s only so much he knows about it but this is all the info he knows so far. he CAN “die” but all of his deaths are temporary. that is to say that his body will eventually heal and regenerate itself and he will come back. it’s not like deadpool where he can get stabbed in the head and go about the rest of his day like nothing happened, he might be able to keep himself up for a while to fight back or run away but it wont be long before he drops dead for a few days or so. during said time his body outwardly does seem very dead. he’s unresponsive and still and isn’t blinking or nothing and his pupils are blown (which he already has huge pupils but yk), like if you were to just show him to someone they’d be like “yeah that’s absolutely a corpse and also why would you show this to me.” but his body is still alive in a sense, it’s just sort of… yknow when you put a computer into sleep mode?? upon first glance it’s gonna look like it’s off but inwardly things are still going on. his body is still working to regenerate itself the whole time, even if whatever he sustained that “killed” him would very much not be healable or survivable by any normal person. in his POV, he just sort of gets knocked out for a while and then wakes up exhausted and sore and absolutely FAMISHED. like he could easily eat a horse without any exaggeration the boy can eat.

he’s also always been interested in horror and the supernatural and crime and shit and is largely desensitized to that sort of stuff from that + experiencing a lot of different deaths himself bc of the whole immortality thing paired with him being generally reckless when he was younger because what’s it gonna do? kill him? (“what’re you gonna do, jeff the kill me?” -him at jeff moments before being stabbed, probably) he says he doesn’t care but it actually effects him deeply in ways he doesn’t understand for a while. as he gets older he becomes less reckless and doesn’t throw himself into dangerous situations as often.

all that being said he’s not necessarily all that dangerous himself?? he carries his dagger around with him for protection or cutting up meat and apples or woodcarving more than anything and as a proxy he works a lot more as just an… observer. despite his name he’s not really all for the killing people stuff if he can help it unlike many of the others, if anything his name more so refers to the fact that HE’S usually the one getting slashed up. (it’s actually just bc of my username but shhhhhh) but generally he much prefers to be in the background keeping watch or scoping things out or just sort of… stalking people basically. dont ask me how he manages to be stealthy in THAT outfit… he manages somehow i swear 😔

but yknow overall he’s not an incredible threat to most people, the “creepy” part of him being a creepypasta comes a lot more just from how much it would suck to be in his shoes as just a guy who happens to be immortal but still able to experience the pain of death over and over again. he isn’t the creepy thing as much as his entire life experience is LOL. usually he’s just unsettling and disturbing at most.

he also has a VERY complex relationship with BEN in my AU specifically (WHICH RANDOM DISCLAIMER TIME: NOT THE LITTLE 12 YEAR OLD VERSION NOOOOO EW my au’s BEN is like a combo of “fanon” him and behavioral event network he is not 12 years old and i dont want him being shipped with anything NEAR that version of him, ONLY my AU’s version who is 19. im not a freak. 💔 they’re not a couple anyway (BEN🤝slasher -> being aro) but i did wanna preface that just in case bc im not trying to get misinterpreted like that) might write more about that sometime… bc their relationship has a lot of symbolism and complexity bc BEN is my fav character ever period and yes i am gonna write him and my self insert oc as being incredibly deeply intertwined bc i love him and cringe culture can kick rocks and therapy is difficult to get :3 oc x canon shippers platonic or romantic yall will always be safe on my blog frfr

im gonna post more about BEN soon too…. literally working on actually making a proper design for him rn which is mostly just difficult bc i cannot for the life of me think of what to give this freak to wear. i need them to serve cunt but like….. how do i do that 💔💔 that one BEN design i reblogged that gave him the adorable little heels….. absolutely genius………. u know who u are :3

more random rapid fire fun facts about him bc why not: he loves piercings and tattoos and body mods bc they heal so easily for him, he has his tongue split! (NEEEED to do one day actually my dream body mod), his immortality doesn’t seem to effect his ability to get sick which he HATES but when he does get sick it only lasts for a day or so and he’s a total drama queen the whole time, he loves to sew (though only by hand, he’s genuinely afraid of sewing machines) and will patch up or modify clothes for his friends or other proxies if they ask, his favorite kind of raw meat is boar, and his favorite cooked meat is a tie between pork (boar or domestic pig) and chicken, he wears his headphones most of the time bc he loves music and sounds can sometimes overstimulate him, and BEN can talk to him through them because of course he can, he loves animals and actually has way more empathy for them than for humans, and he absolutely LOVES medical dramas and does not care that a lot of the actual medical parts are inaccurate he will eat them up. he WILL be caught staying up until 6am watching chicago med and he will not apologize.

ANYWAY i think that’s about it actually. if anyone actually read all my ramblings…. i love u /p u mean very much to me /p

i WILL be yapping more soon (except probably about the actual “canon” pastas hehe) :3

[cconfusedkat]

I think the reason why I have a tendency to draw new things every few months is bc im Still relatively new to digital art and always wonder how much i improve in months

So mainly it's for my sake because im like Oh wait ive been drawing this character differently recently ?? And then Boom i take my eyes away for one second and theres redesigns

Plus instead of making clothing so complex i decided to go w my heart and base their clothes off of how id characterize them If That Makes Sense ,, i figure kallamars is the most obvious one for him being a tailor for example

Whereas shamura is the (main) undertaker , Leshy and Heket are the two missionary party leaders , and Narinders isnt very obvious but hes considered the gladiator :-3c

Lamb and Goat (Allure & Giuseppe) are the two leaders of the cult!! (Allure main leader, giuseppe co leader) As time went on and giuseppe settled in allure's cult , the name changed from just alluring lamb to the cult of death and wisdom ,,, Ram (aaliyah) isnt a very repetitive person that shows up at the cult since she has her own cult to run (within another universe , a war cult specifically) but she likes to show up every so often just to check in with her brother [giuseppe] :>c

And ofc how could i forget wilt lol- i forgot to add giuseppes cape here Woops ,, But its what giuseppes main clothes r in the other cult

And well i kinda wanted to incorporate the healed designs ,, another thing i wanted to add is that i constantly yap about them all being rlly strong (minus Narinder however- i believe he wouldn't be able to go on crusades or missionaries due to fibromyalgia) but its not too obvious either ,, id def say that leshy and allure are probably the strongest out of everyone else (leshy can summon roots from the ground and uses his body as an advantage, where as to allure their main weapon is withholding a heavy axe ,, but that shit is Not Easy so both leshy and allure are bottom heavy cuz of that- their back muscles and legs carry shit for the both of them HELPP)

Shamura isnt exactly a battlefield person though, they're probably the only bishop to not wanting to fight ?? Those days r Way behind them ,, Kallamar can make himself taller due to Allure reserving some strength left of the blue crown as apart of a compromise they were forced to make with kallamar to stay within the cult-

One thing in common Giuseppe and Narinder have is pacifism ,, narinder is a pacifist because of seeing allure so ill and he didnt actually like seeing people in pain- whereas Giuseppe is pacifist because hes a god of wisdom nd prefers to take things with a lighter approach. The complete opposites of those two are Allure and Aaliyah, theyre both aiming for any type of genocidal route because of what they went through for both the lamb and goat genocides occuring in different worlds of theirs ,, giuseppe doesnt rlly like crusading with allure for that reason 😭 even though aaliyah is Much worse since shes a god of war- its just the way that bloodthirst makes giuseppe incredibly uncomfortable,, to see such a shy lamb act the opposite on their crusades is Lowkey what terrifies him lmao-

Herrmm ,, heket and kallamar are pretty similiar in the stances of not rlly gaf-ing about fighting and crusades ,, heket is good at stealth and kallamar just aims right for the target because shi's just Impatient-

Okay thats all the yapping i have left in me fur now i also have these to share

The only decency here is giuseppe lmaooo 😭🙏

Oh one last thing is heights :-3

(Shamura is 4'7, Ram is 5'1, Lamb is 5'5, Narinder is 6'0, Goat is 6'1, Kallamar is 6'3, Heket is 6'6, and Leshy is 7'2 ,, Idk why i put sozo there but maybe bc its fur my own reference)

[nerdishpursuits]

What really amuses me (or annoys, depending) is that we always manage to look for more than meets the eye, assuming the show has more depth to it, when in truth it’s lacking in so many ways.

We seem to forget what we’re dealing with here. And what that is? Is a novela, pure and simple. A Spanish one, true. But a novela just the same. And while in the beginning, for the most part, quality prevailed? It’s more and more obvious the show is becoming plagued by the inconsistencies of its genre.

We’ll never have a sensitive topic such as SA treated with the care and empathy it deserves (if anything, it encourages the message that victims are better off if they keep silent; the SA itself and the inherent misogyny? they were just background noise for the now 20+ episodes narrative of a woman suffering the consequences of looking for justice that was legally denied)

We’ll never see Fina’s recovery as it should have been treated.

We’ll never see Marta’s own trauma addressed.

I severely doubt we’ll see them healing together in a way that feels rewarding, empathetic and well thought out. We’ll get hints that they spent the night together, that they talked about their feelings and addressed the problems they’re facing. Hints and more hints. Surface level depictions that don’t really bother going beneath the surface. One of those high-speed trains that seldom stop at any station for more than a few minutes, the scenery a blur at the edge of one’s vision. Expecting more? Well, it might be asking for too much. We either enjoy what we can and as much as we can, or we desist. Plain and simple.

As for more of today’s events?

1. Just like Marta is a grown up, capable of making her own decisions? So is Tasio. For Carmen to lay all the blame at Marta’s feet is ridiculous. As is the show persisting in comparing her to Jesús, who is a de facto muderer and whose violent actions don’t have repercussions + let’s add Don Pedro to the list, whose revenge ended with the murder of the one responsible for his son’s death - I doubt there’ll be consequences as, after all, he’s a man and allowed to get away with it. For Marta though? Pandora’s box and all its blessings. May I just say succumbing to rage and helplessness one time, does not a violent person make, nor does it undo the moral tapestry of Marta’s character (for all the show loves to punish her for it).

But I’m digressing. Tasio is not a saint and to pretend otherwise is laughable (Carmen herself suspected he orchestrated the entire thing to curry favour with his father? I mean. Her trust in him is somewhere below sea level, no need to pretend otherwise. More so, she seems to forget it was Damián who paid for Tasio’s out-of-jail-card: claiming Marta’s family wouldn’t help him is borderline absurd). Marta didn’t force him to do anything, he chose to help her of his own free will. And at the end of the day? Marta never shies away from doing the hard thing: taking accountability. And she does it every single damn time, no matter how hard it is. (let’s see if Tasio ever gets there, fully). And I now find myself needing a scene where Fina defends Marta with Carmen.

2. They found the most contrived way of using Marta’s journal against her - if it is her journal, that is; for all we know it’s Marta’s calculus notebook (Santiago invading their safe space and just so happening to find it laying there? It’s not only supremely absurd but a sacrilege as well, yet another violation of their intimacy). Rather funnily, this show might be trying to preach violence is not the answer yet here we are, ascending to the next level altogether (I personally don’t see any other way to be rid of Santiago - his demise needs to be imminent and it needs to happen). Not to mention how outlandish it is that a nobody is able to get into Fina’s cell, waltz into Marta’s office or walk onto their property like so? This level of absurd is top-tier for sure.

3. The one consistent thing? Marta’s love for Fina and Fina’s love for Marta. That hasn’t changed and it won’t (it’s very much obvious Marta is nothing but irritated with Pelayo and for good reason: that man is like fungus, chemical treatment needed)

Oh well. Since the inane seems to be the way? Let’s join the circus: Santiago is moved to tears upon reading Marta’s journal and gives them his blessing, for Pelayo and Santiago it’s love at first ‘stache and they buy the property next to Marta’s so they can be felices los quatro, Jesús launches a business promoting hair-growth (dar en el calvo) and Eladio writes a book in prison (from SIcario to NOcario).

On the bright side? Flirty and Horny Fina is back tomorrow? Or so it would seem. She’s been dearly missed 😌 Furthermore? For everything that’s not being said, shown or addressed? It’s still a feat Mafin remains the healthiest relationship on the show. No doubt about it!!!

[oddly-casual]

A thought I have pretty often but don’t have the brain to properly express is the fact that between the Girlymatsu’s and the regular matsu’s the only one who doesn’t share her signature color with her counter part is Osoko.

Like obviously it’s in the back of her intro card, and it’s Osoko so we know red is supposed to be her color.

She wears red in all the added merch and bonus content too. Off the top of my head there’s the Jyushimatsu dolphin episode, Tabimatsu, and hesokuri wars. All of which she wears red unless it’s a special set or she changes back into her work uniform.

It could really be nothing, but it always kind of threw me off. All the other girls get their signature color, why not Osoko?

Even if it’s in a subtle way they could’ve done it. Like with the pine pattern on ichiko’s dress or Jyshiko’s bright blonde hair and colored contacts.

Osoko’s makeup is more pink than it is red. So where’d her red go? I had a few thoughts on this so I’m gonna spit some shit.

1. Shes trying to blend in

In the episode she’s introduced in, she gives this big talk about how woman are supposed to be. Being independent, knowing when not to let other men pay for you, being young and approachable. She says all this but so easily snaps the next second. My only guess for why she snaps so quick is because she does that with friends.

With her friends Osoko has no problems being angry, making faces, yelling at them, etc. We don’t know how she is outside of her friend group, but from the way she describes herself it doesn’t seem like she acts the same around everyone.

Osoko is a working woman, she has to be all those things to survive the work place. Bold, but not too bold. Red is a very bold color.

Red lipstick is mature, but it also might hint at promiscuity for some older folk and people who like to talk shit. Meanwhile pink is a more cuter and toned down version of red, that’s why Osoko wears it as makeup instead. She wants to come off as light and fun and cute when that’s not who she really is.

2. She wants to seem younger

It’s brought up a couple times and the show kind of hints at it, but Osoko and Karako are supposed to be the older so believe.

They dress more mature and scold the others for being immature, and the comment jyushiko makes about them being old and unable to have children looks like it seriously pisses them off.

Osoko talks about youth a lot in her first episode, especially about how it makes her seem cuter. You’d think it would be a Todoko thing, but Osoko mentions it more than once when she talks. Meaning being cute and young (compared to her older male coworkers) instead of being headstrong or beautiful, is important to her.

Karako wears red heals and red lipstick but I think that’s just her style. She is bold, her personality is loud and just like how Karamatsu likes wearing shades and leather jackets to seem like a cool guy, Karako probably wears red to show maturity and maybe even a bit of sensuality.

Meanwhile Osoko, who doesn’t like the fact that she’s getting older, wears a more youthful color. Being pink. Even putting it on her cheeks to add to the youthful look.

3. Identity crisis

Pretty much everyone knows about Osomatsu’s identity issues. He very obviously has no personality of his own and it shows- mainly in the fact that while everyone has their own casual outfits that show off their identity, Osomatsu still wears the family symbol on his plain red hoodie.

I don’t think the girlymatsu’s are supposed to be sisters, they call each other friends and have never been mentioned to be related. They are all very visually distinct from each other, and their personalities are on full display all the time in just how they dress.

There would be no need for the girlymatsu’s to wear distinct colors because there would be no need to differentiate them from each other.

The show does it anyway, obviously, because fuck it why not it’s cute- but again, Osoko doesn’t.

It could be because, like Osomatsu, Osoko has no idea who she truly is. She pours herself into this older sister persona to lure men in (her words), but she’s loud and crude and judgmental when separated from that.

Just like how Osomatsu makes his family his identity, I think Osoko makes work her identity. She wears her work clothes out and about, even when she’s on vacation. In season 2 when she dresses out of her wet suit she’s in her uniform again- and we know nothing about her personal life, not even in the small tidbits we get from the other characters.

I truly think identity issues is something every version of Osomatsu is faced with. Even if it’s not that, idk I just think it’s interesting. If you made it this far, kiss kiss.

Live laugh love Osoko.

[lillytalons]

ADOLIN & MAYA

Apparently I have a ton to say about Adolin and Maya from Wind and Truth.

Spoilers Ahead!! 

Maya getting the deadeyes is like the greatest payoff of finding out about them existing all over Shadesmar and specifically the lost deadeyes on the bottom of the ocean who I had assumed had to have the eternal tragedy of being ‘dead’ and lost forever. The spren coming back to more real life with the reversal of the broken oath to Ba Ado Mishram is just so great. I should remember, there’s pretty much always payoff with Sanderson, even if it takes a while. 

Also the suit up moment had me jumping and celebrating it was just so beyond good. 

Honestly, Adolin potentially living forever without his leg is a cool concept, like the shardplates adjusting for him showing that past radiants didn’t have all their limbs was great but not it also sets Adolin apart again because so many of the radiants would be able to heal themselves, not all obviously but most. I’m excited to explore it in the future.

He got his plate through inheritance and who knows exactly which dead spren it’s made of, but I’d like to think fate was involved. The Plate starting to respond to him like Maya originally did was just beyond amazing. We haven’t seen a lot of differences in living plate yet since we have a small sample size, but so far we know that wind spren can move to others at a drop, and creation spren seem to have a lot more flexibility with form (though that could just be because Shallan thought to ask for it), but the chances that his plates are from the pair with cultivation spren isn’t great. Honestly with the movement and permission, so far I’d say wind Spren but maybe we’ll get that answer eventually. 

Maya being a soldier is just incredible, like she doesn’t seem to remember or mention healing or anything, but she knows war, and is the perfect match for Adolin. Having someone to talk to about everything and someone who really understands the kind of sacrifices he needs to make without a fight has got to be a major benefit for both of them. Most of the Spren now are learning everything from scratch, are very young comparatively, and have to slowly grow memories and the like. But Maya, while silent and relearning how to talk and interact, doesn’t have to be taught about complex ideas. Which is good since she’s basically thrown from talking again to one of the most important battlefields in Roshar’s history. There wasn’t time for ethics/people lessons like Syl and Kaladin had time for. 

Maya is so interesting because we mostly know new spren who have never been bonded and it seems like spren have been staying away from learning about fighting as a whole, their own cultures’ way to avoid the atrocities of the radiants. But the deadeyes have a lot of possible wisdom and such to offer, now that they can talk again. Plus, depending on how old Maya is, she could have been bonded to several soldiers, killed during recreances and bonded to a new one, if she was a solider she would have bonded again, so she understands death. As one of the shards found in an obvious place and protected and passed down, she could have been hooked to important radiants that were in the middle of the fighting. 

And I’m sure there are plenty of cultivation spren like Wyndle that don’t like fighting, wouldn’t have bonded to radiants if at all possible. So spren like Maya would have picked up the slack to keep fighting.

Not to mention, well no one really has stormlight right now, but the potential lessons the unoathed could teach to new and current radiants are huge! Yes the radiants are figuring out a lot and in some ways benefit from not actually having an instruction manual to limit their thinking, but gentle nudges if they’re missing important and useful ways to use lashings will be helpful. Until the heralds come back, or they find more records in Urithiru, the un-oathed are all they have (especially with the Stormfather and his habit of giving visions gone. Lucky Dalinar wrote it down before dying I guess)

Back to the discussion of fate, Adolin’s sword being a cultivation spren just makes sense. He’s barely connected to Honor and Odium, not bowing to the passions and disliking oaths more and more (Dalinar could have learned a bit from him), which means if he’s connected to any of the three shards, it’s Cultivation. And he does have the history of slowly but doggedly cultivating friendships, relationships, building people’s skills, heck even talking to his blade before every battle is much more a cultivation trait than anything else. Despite some of his impulsivity, he’s got an awful lot of patience that most of the characters don’t.

The potential powers for edgedancers are healing and friction. He almost was using friction during many of his fights, especially during his last fight, leaning into the movement of his peg and basically using moments of friction and movement like edgedancers do. He has a history of perfect footwork and movement in his duels. Even leaping and moving across the dome in an insane show of momentum proves my point. 

Then with the healing, he has more respect and understanding of both normal healers and mind healing than most. Beyond that, he’s a good tactician and all, but more and more he hates fighting, doesn’t even really want the duels, he feels very Eowyn coded, can and will fight to the end, but wants to be a healer and focus on growing things (maybe metaphorically). He heals Yawagawn emotionally by seeing he needed a friend and again building him and his skills up.

He remembers those that have been forgotten, whether a lonely boy emperor, a bridgeboy or a young girl who wants to fight, he treated his blade and plate as sentient years before it was even considered that they could be, before anyone knew anything about them, he was ensuring that they wouldn’t be lost forever, which also ties into listening to those who have been ignored. He wants people to be able to make their own decisions and not be beholden to others, whether through class lines or oaths, and it’s so good. He follows the soul of edgedancers and radiants without being beholden to oaths and Honor because he’s seen a lot of things can go wrong with that. And he was right! Beyond never abandoning Maya (which I loved him for) he’s now really free of the issue of Retribution.

And he helped save the only human kingdom to stay free of Odium! He’s just the best.

[a-bad-case-of-the-stephs]

What're some Steph Brown moments you think should be talked about more?

Thank you sm for asking me this…

This one is actually really hard for me to answer because I think society should be talking about every stephanie brown moment all of the time. Additionally, I genuinely don’t think I can tell what moments w her are underrated anymore.

That being said I have made a list:

1. This Scene w Crystal in cataclysm

Robin #54

Really shows some extremely interesting parts of their relationship. This is like one of our first indications Crystal and Steph’s relationship might be on the mend. We get a look into how close they are despite their many issues. We have a minute where Steph jokes about Crystal blaming herself for the quake “too” implying Crystal often blames herself for things out of her control, which as I’m always discussing is a Stephanie Brown classic trait. The idea that this is something Crystal might do as well is so compelling to me. And throughout it all, we have Steph trying to protect Crystal, taking care of her, even tucking her in like a parent would their child. (Cough Stephanie brown parentification cough cough)

2. This panel from GK37. The way Batmans silhouette steps forward while Steph’s silhouette stands starkly still. The purple overcast sky with the flakes of snow (the whole weather/environment in gk37 kills me). The emphasis on ‘go to hell’ as after a comic of bargaining Steph finally comes to terms with the fact that she can’t rely on anyone else, that Batman going to her and telling her she could be something, that she could be good meant absolutely nothing to him. Amazing. Imprinted into my brain.

4. Steph’s conversation with Natalia about the stars in Robin 104. Gorgeous panel with an interesting look into Steph’s brain.

5. The Riddle scene in Robin 113, because I’m not smart enough to break down the Riddlers riddles and put together the implications which I assume are there and I want someone else to do it for me. Additionally, the lighting is absolutely gorgeous as we get to see Steph at this low point.

6. Robin #92, the scene where Bruce talks to Steph about the future, deeply unsettling her to the point that months and months later at the very start of war games she’s still thinking about it

7. The moment after Tim Drake’s birthday gaslighting bonanza where he commiserates with Steph abt getting tested by Batman. I’m imagining that he feels guilty for his role in her own test. For the record I’m hallucinating that guilt. I think it’s possible Lewis straight up didn’t know how Tim lied to Steph in Batman Family. But on the other hand the parallels to GK37 are insane and clearly there for a reason. Thinking about this lots. The repetition of “I know” vs “go to hell”. Their reversal of roles…I’ve already blabbed abt this on my blog but I’m still putting it here also bc I’m thinking abt it always.

Robin #120

8. All of GK22 as a reflection of how Batman’s loneliness post officer down is actually inextricably connected with his decision to sanction Steph as Spoiler. But specifically this scene because it makes me sick and ill and because it’s my header. Love the decapitated head side eyeing Batman.

9. Okay last one. One moment I’ve been thinking about a lot recently is Stephanie’s first interaction with Batman post War Games. Like the first thing she says to him after returning from her faked death is her essentially asking permission to patrol in Gotham.

Robin #174

Which is so fucking insane. She was unironically and genuinely spiritually broken by the events of war games. One of the very core tenets of her characterization, her willingness to be Spoiler no matter what regardless of the consequences, is fractured and entirely reversed. I have a lot of thoughts about this, and in general how post war games pre bg2009 Steph has healed physically but something big has clearly changed in her and not for the better. If you ask me, that period of time is stephanie brown at her lowest point. Will be posting abt this more eventually because writing this out has given me worse brain worms than normal.

Thank you so much for the ask again, sorry this took me a second I kept writing out way too much. I’m unfortunately a rambler at heart. Would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on any of these moments or other moments I missed.

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

I wasn’t here last year and I’m kind of glad. I think cancellation in real time would’ve killed me.

It must’ve been the cancellation noise which alerted me to the show because I came to it knowing it had happened.

Like Ed, I fell hard and fast.

And then grief hit, belatedly, but horribly nonetheless.

I adore this show on many levels. It’s healed things £££ of therapy never reached. It helped me better accept my neurodiversity, realise I’m likely demi, and despite being white-passing, explore parts of my south Asian heritage I didn’t fully acknowledge before.

It’s made me braver. It’s made me calmer.

Stede Bonnet lives in my DNA now. He has changed my brain chemistry forever.

I am sad we might never get a season 3, but I am so happy this show existed for even 18 episodes.

I feel there was a tear in the universe somewhere; that it got through, and we were never actually supposed to see it at all.

There’s something so real and honest here about the human condition. It’s a glitch in the matrix. A wonder that keeps the stars apart. And I shall always be grateful for that.

[stitchzin]

Letter from a Crow

As soon as Rook disappears, Lucanis is the one who decides to tell Viago, the word spreads as Rook's friends begin to read books on how to rescue her. Lucanis goes to Caterina, they meet at the Cassino, and says he stopped her from confessing because he didn't wanted bad luck. Now he feared he would never hear this again.

"She wanted to call me Vhenan... do you know what it means... It means, my heart."

"My poor boy..."

"Raise your head" Illario appears behind him. "You won't avange her while having it down." They were a weird family but they were there, healing some woulds.

But Viago's family was Rook and Teia. And both don't know what to do this time. One day the owner of one of the city's theaters enters the Cantori Diamond, and gives Teia a letter that looked like it had been read several times.

She said that regardless of whether Rook was found or not, Viago should read it.

Rook was unique in relation to many crows, she did not move from the main house after she started earning her money. In fact, she even has a rented room near the theater, but she only used it when she had her nights with friends. Her "real" room was positioned next to Viago's room. Every morning he opened her door and said "Those who earn money lying down are whores, get up", even if Astraea was already awake.

He drank coffee Rook drinked her chocolate, talked about various subjects, nobility and Crow gossip, new poisons and the weather. Teia adored that, It was rare that she and Rook shared the breakfast table, but it was pure entertainment to watch Rook and Viago have the same mannerisms.

Viago was training when Teia delivered the letter, the exhausted body of a man who tried to throw his emotions on anything but those around him. He had returned from a visit to Caterina, who had been through something similar. There was no way of knowing what the first Talon had advised him, but it had had an effect on him.

And reading that yellowed paper, with purple ink and a dried jasmine branch on the page made him freeze. Rook had had the courage to say what he had never said explicitly. And without her there for him to provoke, or correct.

He didn't know what to do.

The only person he wanted to talk to about his favorite's disappearance was herself. Teia and he sat on the balcony drinking wine. The balcony of Rook's room, surrounded by her things he asked the servants to keep it neat. The vases of jasmine that never died made everything smell like her. And he read it again out loud.

Nesryn,

I remember the day I arrived in Treviso, the way I followed Viago because I thought I could rob him he was covered in silver and good quality leather, only to witness a murder. I didn't even feel afraid it was so quick and ellegant. He dragged me by the ear to you, thought I was one of your children and apologized afterwards and turned his back. I think he thought my Vallaslin was a theater painting because of its unique lines.

Despite everything, the following week I followed him, he told me to mislead people and I did it, he told me to deliver messages and I went.

He would give me a candy, a bag of fruit or a silver coin. If he was having a good day, a full meal before correcting my acrobatics. Funny two weeks. But... If I hadn't stolen keys from that smuggler and entered that warehouse and freed him of that trap, he might never have taken me to Villa De Riva. If Viago had been impressed by my peculiar way of moving between the rooftops before, he didn't show it until that day, always so critical. In my 12-year-old mind he hated it, but today I know he corrects it, because he cares.

"Astraea is your name now, Sitara is dead in that desert." I didn't want to stop being Dalish, and when Viago said he would never ask for such a thing, I accepted. I think he just accepted that I would always be this slightly wild thing with blue hair.

I arrived at the Crows knowing much more about hunting and survival than murder and became my unique self, always thinking of a way out, a new trick. Even so, with all this transformation I still saw myself arriving at your house. With bruises, cuts and sore muscles. Learning to make medicines, cook with you or play one of your instruments. You asked me to leave thw Crows, and I asked where. Still you were there when I became a crow, and when I did so well at my job that I earned the family name.

I heald high for many years.

When Antaam arrived, when he caught you, I had to show my gratitude by saving you. Obviously, the Talons weren't happy, but I trusted Viago. Even though I was afraid of being abandoned again. After a lot of yelling, Viago sent me away. I knew he was risking his neck by doing this, so I obeyed. And I didn't regret saving the friends I made at the theater. Nor did I regret traveling together. We passed through villages while I hid half of my face. There I saw a different family, light conversations at the table, lessons on sewing clothes, who would wash the dishes, putting feelings into poems and songs.

It was a beautiful time. And thank you for showing me this family that was made up of our friends. It was beautiful to see worlds within the world, realities marked by a veil that separates them from the rest. Dancing gave me new ways to practice sword and dagger, so beautiful that you had me as a nighttime attraction, using a ribbon to disguise the murderous beauty of my hands.

The thing is, my world is different from yours. In my life, I learned to get up when I fall, to keep walking because no one will save you, to endure pain so that it becomes a surmountable difficulty, to feel the effects of poison before receiving the antidote and to build up resistance. It wasn't easy. But that's what my family taught me. And that's what saved me many times.

Nessie the issue is... staying with you, away from Treviso without being able to return reminded me that Viago is my family. He and I are within the same veil. And the difference between you two is brutal.

You told me that "It's possible to live even after discovering that the world has gone bad, as long as I don't allow the world's evil to seem normal."

Viago told me "We carry death in the shadows, and at the same time we look in the eyes and say: not today."

We have different lifes, different sayings to keep our heads held high in the world we live in.

Being in this family these days rekindled my light and I'm going to use it to deserve to return home. That's why I'm leaving with Varric and Harding. I promised I would only send a letter to Viago through a contact, but life is as untamed as I am.

I'll see you again in Treviso.

Love, Astraea De Riva.

[ketamollykaine]

Creepypasta AU Headcanons

Midnight City: Jeff the Killer

★ He is 27, and he's a Capricorn sun, Scorpio Moon, and Taurus Rising (Gemini mercury, Sagittarius Venus, Sagittarius Mars, Leo Jupiter, Aries Saturn, Aquarius Neptune, Sagittarius Pluto)

★ Jeff stands at 5'9", has a slim physique but has defined, strong muscles. His body fat % is probably around 6-7%. He's pale nut not ghost white.

★ Is from a mid-middle class family from Montana.

★ His chelsea smile has long since healed into keloid scars, never burned or cut his eyelids, only has a few burn scars along his temples and forehead that he covers with his hair.

★ His hair is very slightly wavy, parted in the middle, and of course it's black. His natural colour was very dark brown. He'll dye it maybe once a year if he feels like it. It goes down right past his pecs/to hs mid back.

★ Has really nice defined eyebrows and lighter blue hunter eyes. His nose is thin, has a ridge from being broken a couple times, and is upturned slightly.

★ Wears guyliner and it's the hottest thing you've ever seen.

★ Thin, but strong jawline. Doesn't care for growing out his facial hair past a week or two, mostly likes to be clean shaven which can be hard at times because of his scars.

★ Has always been conventionally attractive and had a huge complex about it that shattered when he saw his face permanently altered, making him have the mental break that made the chelsea smile.

★ A metalhead, 100%. Goes to underground shows a lot and doesn't bother hiding his face. He has grown to love what he made of himself.

★ Genuinely enjoys impulsively planning his next kill, he gets a rush from playing God with someone's life.

★ Very confident and sure of himself, but surprisingly not full of himself. Jeff has gotten good at what he does and knows it.

★ Charming to a fault, but also cold and sometimes rude. Doesn't care to come off any type of way. He's very apathetic when it comes to people and their emotions. Enjoys his own company most, but is friends with Dove, Toby, Jackson (the Puppeteer), and Laughing Jack.

★ Doesn't work for Slenderman, is 100% a lone wolf. He doesn't fuck with the fact that Slender exists, so he stays clear of him as much as he can.

★ Has his own cabin in the woods, mostly everyone does if they share it or not.

★ Sings! He loves music. I think he'd sound like Landon Tewers. When he hangs out with Dove, they jam together.

★ He is "Need To Change" by Landon Tewers personified. He can be a great lover, but he will chose himself at the end of the day. Very self aware.

★ He's covered in stick and poke tattoos and has self inflicted scars only for counting each kill, not no barcodes. They're 1cm lines neatly cut on his left pec.

★ Is a sucker for real goth women. Don't hand him an e-girl or TikTok alt girl. He wants a trad goth baddie, hopefully with some amount of bloodlust.

★ Wants a lip piercing but hasn't gotten it because "What if it gets caught on something and rips his lip apart?"

★ He tends to not sleep for a couple days at a time then sleeps for 18-20 hours and act like nothing happened.

★ Uses recreational drugs sometimes. Is no stranger to blow, xanax, 2CB, or molly. Drinks frequently and smoked weed daily. He's even learning how to grow!

★ Isn't a sociopath. He still very much has feelings, lots of big feelings. Jeff is a sadist in non-sexual terms. He enjoys seeing people in pain and being the one to cause the pain.

★ Wears dickies or black cargo pants, grommet belts, steel toe, black latter laced boots, black crew socks, a black band t or black muscle t in the summer, and various hoodies. Some are white, some are black. Sometimes he'll wear a bullet necklace that he stole from Dove and spiked leather bracelets.

★ Some of his favourite songs are "All Around Me" - Flyleaf, "Fentanyl" - McCafferty, "Pet" - A Perfect Circle, and "Chelsea Smile (KC BLITZ remix)" - Bring Me The Horizon

★ Knows his brother is alive, but is still reeling with guilt and will never forgive himself. He stays far away from Liu, trying to make Liu forget about him. Wants to have a brother again so badly. He drinks about this all the time and will cry alone.

★ Satanist, has a copy of The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey. "the group views Satan neither as a supernatural being, nor a symbol of evil, but instead relies on the literary Satan as a symbol representing "the eternal rebel" against arbitrary authority and social norms,"

★ Will help you take revenge or he'll get it for you. Any excuse to kill and help someone realise their power. He likes having equals and moulding killers. This is an extremely rare occurrence though.

I made a c.ai character for y’all to enjoy, here.

[quietwingsinthesky]

Dean is such a paradox for me because on the one hand, I have been actively triggered by him in the show, there are moments where, intentionally or not, the writers managed to create a portrayal of manipulation and abuse and control issues that it sets off actual alarms for me. And on the other hand, I would not have him any other way. There is something — not comforting, that’s too soft a word — about knowing where Dean’s actions stem from, having seen and learned all that we do about his childhood neglect and parentification and the trauma he goes through repeatedly in the show, and that he doesn’t come out clean. He comes out a goddamn mess who ends up hurting the people around him in reaction to his own pain!

There’s a reality there that’s. Almost nice, actually. Distressing to watch, but it is a fucking mess, it’s a good mess! He’s got zero healthy coping skills and a healthy relationship with say, his brother, is terrifying because it leaves him open to abandonment!

I’m not sure I’m wording this correctly. There is a way to be a good abuse victim. Take the pain, martyr yourself on it, and then, even if you have no support or idea how to, then you have to become a Good Person who never hurts anyone the way you have been learning to your entire life. Simply toss everything that shaped you out the door and emerge a saint with a tragic backstory. And Dean is not that. And that’s so fucking good. Everything that he has gone through continues to effect the way he treats the people around him, and he can’t fight the behaviors he might recognize as harmful because he also sees them as protecting him (or protecting Sam by keeping Sam with him.)

And sometimes, idk. It feels good to see a guy who didn’t heal the “right way.” Who mostly didn’t heal at all, just keeps the wound open because it’s easier that way.

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[agirlinthegalaxy]

Something I see frequently is fans wanting characters like Elle Greenaway or Nathan Harris to return as unsubs in Criminal Minds, which. I'll be completely honest, I hate the idea for a lot of the suggested characters because it feels so undeniably tragic and hopeless that someone will inevitably become a killer, even if they don't want to become one. Yes, a lot of the unsubs have some kind of tragic backstory, but the thing is that they're still awful people (excluding very very few). I feel like having previous characters return as the unsub paints this picture that you're unable to break the cycle of violence or that you're destined to become a monster, which is just such a honestly tragic message, especially for a show that's already pretty dark.

I'm not opposed to characters reappearing, but I'd much prefer that if those characters appeared again that it'd be in the vein of them having undergone some kind of healing and growth and be able to find themselves some kind of peace and satisfaction in where they are in life. Let them reappear, but don't transform them into monsters but a symbol of the healing and growth available to survivors and the other characters.

[alilaro]

omg my momma got me my very own car yippee!!