#this show has a lot of required reading sometimes to get the joke...

[elumish]

In the wake of what's going on in the world, I see a lot of rhetoric that basically boils down to the idea that everyone has a responsibility to watch every bad thing that's going on in the world all the time. That awareness itself is a responsibility that everyone has always.

I'm not going to say that people do or don't have a responsibility to be aware of things, but I want to talk about how to take care of yourself and others while doing so.

For some context, I spent close to a year and a half reading about every terrorist attack in the world as part of my work on the Global Terrorism Database. It was 2015/2016, so this was the height of ISIS/Daesh, it was a major time for Boko Haram, and it was when there was a lot of political violence that we weren't sure how to classify in places like Yemen, Crimea, and Libya (stuff the GTD didn't know how to classify had all of is information recorded, and then it went into purgatory until someone above my paygrade decided what to do with it). What this means is that I was spending 10-20 hours a week reading about hundreds or thousands of attacks a month and, in my case, recording infomation about the type of attack and the type of weapon. Much of my life was reading terrible things.

Limit what you do in isolation. One of the worst changes for me during that time, mental health-wise (even though it was great for my commute) was when I went from working in-person to working remotely. With other people, there are ways to diffuse the pain. A burden shared is a burden halved and all that. That may mean talking about it, or joking about it, or finding some other way to engage with it that isn't just reading about the most horrible things in the world and then stewing in your own thoughts about them.

Find something to do that's totally unrelated. I highly recommend finding something to do with your hands, if you can (knitting, Lego, cooking, whatever), but regardless of what it is, you should have some time when you entirely switch away to something different. During a fair amount of my time with the GTD, I was also doing my undergrad thesis about terrorism on TV, so a huge amount of my life was about terrorism in some way. The only other thing I watched was Great British Bake Off, and I would just rewatch the episodes, over and over.

Be compassionate about how you share information and with whom. Use trigger warnings, and consider using consistent tagging on places like Tumblr so people can blacklist it if they need to. Also consider whether it's appropriate or necessary to share photos of bodies or other results of horrible violence. What is it accomplishing, to show that? Can that goal be accomplished other ways that don't require the equivalent of jumpscares of unexpected photos of dead or brutalized people? Are you just showing it because you think that everyone should have to see it? If you are showing it, are there ways to mitigate against harm it may do?

Do what you can to avoid an echo chamber. Sometimes, when everyone around you is upset or angry about the same thing, it just amplifies itself, and you all get angrier and more upset in perpetuity without accomplishing anything.

Work towards action. Watching terrible things happen for the sake of saying that you haven't looked away isn't as meaningful as taking action in some way. Write to your Congressperson. Donate. Do whatever is appropriate for the thing you want to stop. But penance via watching terrible things happen doesn't accomplish anything.

Recognize compassion fatigue and do what you can to mitigate it. If you spend long enough doing this, you start to lose context, and you start to become less able to have compassion about things. If you're reading about attacks with dozens or hundreds of deaths regularly, five can start to not seem like that many. If you're reading only about the worst suffering in the world, "lesser" suffering of those around you can start to seem unimportant and petty. Do what you can to mitigate that.

Be kind to yourself. You do nobody any good if you burn out. Look away, if you need to. Take a break. Do things so you can enjoy life, because otherwise you are just another person suffering in the world. Other people's pain isn't a hair shirt for you to wear.

[gin-juice-tonic]

So, for Starters: Book Of Bill Spoilers warning. Another opinion from me below. This new one is about the lost journal pages again, of course.

Originally, I wanted to make a super big crazy essay about all the reasons I think the journal pages in BOB (The Book of Bill’s given name) are fake, and show off my super-cool totally completely sound deductive reasoning techniques in the process.  

Unfortunately, knowing myself I’m not sure I’m actually capable of accomplishing such a feat. You all know how I tend to post things in parts, sometimes out of order, often never finished. However I would like to share something in particular that’s been eating at me that I’ve seen… partially discussed, but only partially. And certainly not the part that I would like to discuss. 

It’s about the rats.

You know, the rats.

I saw these rats being talked about since before I was even able to have a look at the book myself. 

But before I get further into it all, I would like to start off with a joke: 

Why did dead rats, eggnog, a land orca, shrimp colors, It’s a Small World After All, and an Anti-Cipherite Suit cross the road? 

Well, that’s easy. To get to the other side. 

Of the book, that is. 

If you’re anything like me, you probably skipped right to the journal pages upon contact with the book. And if you’re even MORE like me, you were probably left a little confounded by them. Not only did they seem… wrong somehow. But they also felt random. Full of odd choices of subject that didn’t make a lot of sense. Could these pages really have come from journal 3? If so, why do parts of them feel so… completely out of context? 

And this is where the rats come in. As I mentioned before, I saw many people discussing them. In particular, they were noting a connection to this passage from earlier in the book:

Many of the related discussions also felt odd to me. Though I lacked the knowledge to be able to articulate why at the time. UNTIL, I read the book for myself from start to finish. That's when I realized something:  This is not the only time something from earlier in the book connects back to the journal pages. In fact, it happens many, many times throughout the earlier passages. (Here is a small collection of them for your perusal.)

And then it started clicking into place. The reasons the pages felt like they were so abnormally out of context… is because they WERE lacking context!

Now, before you can finish saying “Gin, you’re an idiot.” I would like you to ponder these three questions: 

1) Why, if these pages were taken from Journal 3, should they require context from outside of it to be able to be completely understood?

2) Why is it that this context can be found in what Bill Cipher has been writing in the preceding passages up till now? 

3) If you put food in a mogwai’s mouth at midnight EST but drive it over the CST time zone line back to 11PM before it can swallow, will it still transform into a gremlin? 

Okay, you caught me, that third one is unrelated. But the first two I believe require further thinking. So let’s delve a little further into the idea. Consider this the real third question: 

3) Are we to seriously believe that these, the only pages of J3 still lost to us, just so happen to tie into the new topics from the rest of the Book of Bill over and over like this?  

And since you’ve done so well thinking thus far, I’ll ask a fourth question: 

4) Are you aware of the concepts of Watsonian and Doyalist analysis? 

Assuming you don’t and you won’t google it, I’ll skip to the important part. Watsonian analysis is to analyze a story from within it, as if you yourself were Watson making deductions in a Sherlock Holmes novel.  

Now, from a Watsonian point of view, what happens when we try to answer our earlier questions? Why should it be that the Book of Bill provides so many of these points of reference to the journal pages? 

One possible line of thought could be that Bill wrote the earlier passages of his book *around* the idea of what was contained in the pages, but I think this doesn’t work for a few reasons. For one thing, the purpose of the book is to get the reader to make a deal, not to take a whole novel to set the stage for a 3 day mini Ford adventure. For another, not all of what I described prior is really fit to be called “context”, is it? The rats, the “Small World” cassette, and the Bill-Suit are one thing, but Eggnog? Shrimp colors? Land Orcas? I certainly wouldn’t define them that way. If anything, they’d be better suited to being called “references”. And unlike the more contextual ideas, there’d be no real need for Bill to sneak mere references to the pages into his grand story.  And lastly, there are a great deal of Bill pages that have nothing to do with the content in the journal pages at all.

So what exactly am I trying to say here? 

If we do intend to think of the callbacks outlined above as references, the only logical conclusion within the story is that the journal pages themselves are referencing back to the Book of Bill, not the other way around.

But… how? And why? Something Ford has written in the 80’s shouldn't be able to reference something Bill is writing post-weirdmageddon certainly. 

That’s because “Ford” isn’t referencing it at all!

And as for why… Well, have you ever noticed when you're writing a story on the fly, things you wrote earlier all come crashing back to you as you try to wrap things up? I believe personally that the journal pages are not pages actually written by Ford, but more a strange endcap on Bill’s crazy train of thought! That Bill is the one writing them, and the "references" are just fuel that further the pages creation. Almost as if, to quote someone much more knowledgeable than me on this subject…

(This single paragraph has been inserted a good deal after the original writing of this post.) I would like to clarify, I am not trying to claim the ideas presented in the pages have no basis in reality whatsoever. Ultimately, what I'm saying is I think Bill wrote them, and they should be taken with suspicion instead of as complete fact. "Did this event happen exactly this way?", "Does some of this feel distorted?", "Did this part even happen at all?" I think those are questions worth examining with the events detailed on these pages.

In the end, all I've described above (as well as other aspects of the pages I've not mentioned here) leave me with the impression the pages are not real.

As I stated only a bit earlier, the idea that these pages, the only pages of J3 purported to be lost, should be so connected to the rest of the book is beyond coincidence to me. Not to mention that in order to take these pages as total truth, you must give credence to several other passages of Bill's book as well. And I'm not too keen on having to trust him that much.

To all who have read this far, even to those who may have scoffed at the ideas in here or think I've only written up nonsense. Thank you for reading and considering my thoughts.

I am not saying anyone must agree with me on this. I know some people have found the pages to be important and meaningful to them, and I do not wish to give the impression that I think my view is the end all be all correct one, or that I think lesser of those who believe them to be Ford's own writings. I only want to share my own thoughts on them. And to anyone else who found the pages to feel "off" somehow, possibly validate their feelings too.

[darkmold]

BG3 characters + mundane parenting because I’m mental illness coded

Warnings: babies I guess, it’s not specified how they and Tav acquired the baby (could’ve been theft), I liked this lemme know if anyone wants an npc edition, got depressed on Karlach’s entry oops-

Astarion

He requires very little sleep, so he’s typically on nightshift with the baby. If the little one fusses, he’d rather be the one to handle it than have his poor, tired partner wake up. Sometimes if the baby is being particularly clingy or petulant, he’ll take one of that week’s sewing projects into the nursery to keep himself entertained while he sits by their crib. Sewing project is usually a new garment for the baby- they grow too fast to keep up with.

Halsin

Halsin has wanted kids for so long but never allowed himself to settle down. You know he’s never putting that baby down. Carries them in a sling all day long sometimes just because he’s so thrilled to be a papa. It’s an honor to show them the world.

He would never pass up a chance to spend time with them. He knew having children would be require effort, and he’s fully prepared to be active.

Gale

When his partner is out and he’s left with the baby, he quickly realizes he’s not half as good at getting them to stop crying as they are. He tries everything that usually works- bouncing, feeding, changing, etc., but soon finds that the quickest way to soothe them is by using his voice. Gale runs out of things to say, which results in him carrying the baby around the tower and just explaining various objects.

“See? The metal points are called the ‘hands’. The big hand represents how many minutes have passed, and the little hand represents how many hours have passed…”

Wyll

Reads to his child every night. It was rare that Ulder had the time to, but he remembers his nursemaid reading to him frequently. It’s important to him that his baby get that experience. Plus, maybe it will encourage them to read more when they’re older? There are lots of good stories out there including the ones about their cool dad

Karlach

Keeps to tradition any chance she gets. She wants her kids to grow up like she did- with family gatherings, and sun melon slices, and stupid inside jokes. She wants her babies to know what home feels like. One day, the memory might be all they have left.

Some of her favorite memories growing up were of birthdays. They didn’t have a lot of money for presents, but her dad always baked sweet rolls, which is one tradition she’s not giving up on anytime soon.

[candycandy00]

I’m Your Present! - A Togame x Reader Fanfic

Togame jokingly asks Santa for a cute girl he can play with all night long. He gets you. 

Smut. 18+. Fem Reader. All characters are adults. Bondage. Use of toys (vibrators, handcuffs, blindfold, anal beads). Overstimulation. Praise kink.

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more!

Part of CandyCandy’s Kinkmas 2024!

Totally ripped from the hentai Eromame. I basically just rewrote it with Togame lol. I recommend giving it a watch! It’s very cute! And required yearly Christmas viewing for me!

It was just a joke, really. Just the Bofurin guys fooling around at their annual reunion/Christmas party. For some reason they always invited the guys from Shishitoren, and Togame always showed up. He brought drinks and passed them out, laughing when someone stuck a pair of reindeer antlers on Sakura’s head. 

Togame can’t remember who came up with the idea first, but someone joked that they should write letters to Santa. Most of the guys were half drunk by that point, so they all agreed. Some of them proudly read theirs out loud while the others cheered. Some very quickly ripped theirs up or threw them away. Maybe they asked for something a little too personal to share with the group. 

As for Togame, he wadded his up and crammed it in the pocket of his jacket, thinking he’d toss it when he got home. 

Now, standing in the kitchen of his small apartment, he fishes the crumpled letter out and smoothes it back out. He chuckles to himself as he reads it. 

“Dear Santa, please send me a cute girl to play with all night.”

He wads it up again and drops it into the trash. What a dumb joke. 

But it was at least a little sincere. Togame hasn’t had a girlfriend since his first year of college, and lately he’s been feeling a little lonely, and a lot horny. 

It’s probably because Choji of all people got himself a girlfriend earlier this year. And in true Choji fashion, he doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. He’s been bragging about all the sex he’s having with his hot girlfriend, and it’s only made Togame realize how much he misses being intimate with someone. 

It’s all he can think about the last few months, and he’s been jacking off like a teenager. 

He sighs as he takes off his jacket and gets ready to turn in for the night. It’s Christmas Eve, and he’ll be expected to visit his relatives tomorrow. 

Just as he starts to turn his lights off, he hears a thump on his balcony.

You squeeze past three people carrying loads of presents, your own arms full of brightly colored packages. You stack them in the pile next to the giant sleigh, there to be sorted and packed by other helpers. 

Someone calls your name, telling you to come to the office. You straighten your red, fur-trimmed dress and walk back into the main workshop. The office is a wide room in the back where the Wishlist Management team works. Three of them are behind a counter, reading over lists and letters while the rest are either sorting through last minute mail or relaying orders to the workshop. 

“Hello? Did you need me?” you ask, stepping into the room. 

The helper in the middle looks up from a crumpled piece of paper. “We have an unusual wish here. Would you be interested in granting it?”

“Me?” you ask, taking a seat across from the counter. You’re a standard helper, usually working on gift wrapping, sorting, or transporting. You don’t usually make gifts yourself, so actually granting wishes is a little out of your wheelhouse. 

The helper behind the counter looks a little embarrassed as he slides the piece of paper over to you. When you read it, you feel yourself blush. A cute girl to play with? You’re pretty sure he doesn’t mean board games. 

“Who wrote this?” you ask. Sometimes letters like this arrive from teenagers, and they’re always discarded. For the Management team to be taking it seriously means it has to be a sincere wish from an adult. 

The other helper slides a photo across the counter. “Togame Jo. Twenty-eight years old. Lives alone.”

You pick up the photo and look at this Togame fellow. To your surprise, he’s extremely good looking. In fact, he’s totally your type. Midnight black hair and kind emerald eyes. Wow. 

“Of course you’re free to say no,” the other helper says. “We can ask someone else if you’re uncomfortable with-“

“I’ll do it!” you say, cutting him off. 

He looks surprised. “Are you sure? You do know what he’s asking for, right?”

You nod. “I know. I’ll get some toys from the adult department and head on out. Thank you for bringing this wish to me!”

The other helper gives you an awkward smile and wave as you walk out the door. 

You’re not sure why, but you were instantly drawn to Togame when you saw his picture. It’s not just the lovely green eyes or the gentle smile. There’s something there, hidden just beneath his calm expression. A sadness, a loneliness, that touches your heart. You want to give him the best Christmas present ever.

When Togame pulls back the curtain from the glass door to his balcony, he’s not sure what to make of the scene before him. 

Outside, on his balcony, is a young woman sprawled out as if she’d fallen from the sky. 

He hurriedly opens the door and steps out into the cold, but before he can kneel down to check on her, the woman suddenly sits up. She rubs the back of her head and straightens her Santa hat, then looks up at him. 

“Oh, hello! You’re Togame Jo, right?”

Rendered momentarily speechless by this bizarre situation, Togame nods, then extends his hand to her and helps her to her feet. 

“Come inside,” he tells her, unsure of what else to say. It’s too cold to be standing around out here, especially in that short dress she’s wearing. 

Once inside his apartment, he gets a good look at her. She’s very pretty, with a cute Santa girl dress on. It’s candy apple red with white fur trim. There’s a cloth sack hanging from one arm. She’s looking at him with bright eyes and a smile. 

“How did you end up on my balcony?” he asks, shutting the glass door and closing the curtains. 

“The express sleigh dropped me off. I think they misjudged the distance a bit though,” she replies, still smiling. 

“Express sleigh?” The words make no sense to him. She doesn’t seem drunk. Is this some kind of Christmas prank? Before she can elaborate, he asks another question. “Who are you?”

“I’m your Christmas present!” she declares, doing a little curtsy. When Togame simply stares at her with a confused expression, she stands up straight and says, “You did ask for me, right? Someone to play with all night? We got your letter.”

Togame’s stunned face reddens. How did this woman he’s never met before know about his joke of a letter to Santa?! “I didn’t mail any letter,” he says, feeling a bit dazed at this point. He never even showed it to anyone.  

“Oh, that’s okay! Letters with sincere wishes make it to us even without being mailed,” she says cheerily. 

Togame picks up on something. “Us? Who do you work for?”

She giggles. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m one of Santa’s helpers!”

Wait. Is she saying Santa is real? And they somehow received his pervy letter?! And answered it?!

“Uh, that was just a joke,” he says, mortified that anyone saw the letter. 

“Really?” she asks. Why does she sound disappointed? She holds open her sack. “What a shame. I brought all these toys for us to play with.”

Togame can’t resist peeking inside. The sack is full of sex toys! Just at a glance he can see furry red handcuffs, candy cane striped dildos, and what appears to be vibrators. He feels heat creeping into his face as he looks back at her. 

“You’re really my present from Santa?” he asks. 

She smiles so sweetly at him. “Yes! And since you specified ‘all night long’, you have me until dawn. During that time, I’m yours to do whatever you want with!”

Togame swallows. “Whatever I want?”

“Yes!” she says enthusiastically. “So do you want your present?”

The man standing before you seems hesitant. He probably didn’t expect his wish to be granted. 

Togame is even better looking in person. He’s so tall! You really hope he still wants his present. You’ve been excited since you saw his picture, and now you’re practically dripping just from thinking about the things he could do to you.  

He scratches the back of his head awkwardly. “Are you sure about this?”

You nod emphatically. “Of course!”

He still seems a little unsure. It’s kind of endearing. But eventually he gives you a warm smile and says, “Let’s go to the bedroom then.”

Once there, you spread out the toys from your bag on his desk. He looks them over, glancing back at you every few seconds. 

“I can use anything I want?” he asks, picking up a huge dildo and sitting it back down. 

“That’s right,” you tell him, hoping he doesn’t notice the way your eyes gravitate to the small red bullet vibrators. This night is for him, not you. 

“Any preferences?” he asks, looking you in the eyes.  

You blush a little from the heat of his gaze, but shake your head. “I like all of them!”

He picks up the padded handcuffs with red fur trim. “Even these?”

You hold your wrists together. “Just tell me if you want them in front or behind.”

He seems to think for a moment, then says, “Behind.”

You turn around and hold your arms behind your back. You hear his soft footsteps as he approaches, feel the warmth of his body as he stands right behind you. Then, there’s the touch of his hands as he gently secures the cuffs on your wrists. 

When you turn back around to face him, his cheeks are slightly pink as he looks at you. With your arms pulled back, your tits are jutting out more prominently, your dress struggling to stay up and over them. 

He puts his hands on your shoulders, then slowly slides them down, pulling the straps of your dress down with them. Your breasts bounce free as the fabric slides down beneath them. Togame’s eyes widen slightly. He moves one hand up to cup your breast, then lightly squeezes. His thumb circles one nipple as his other hand gropes the other breast. 

You suck in a breath of air as he leans down and kisses your neck, his lips making a soft, wet trail down your collar bone and finally wrapping around a nipple, suckling lightly. 

He looks back to your face, seeing how flushed you’re getting, and ushers you over to the bed. He sits down on the edge of it and unbuttons his pants. 

“Can you get on your knees for me?” he asks, his tone still polite. 

You’re happy to oblige, dropping to your knees right in front of him, staring at his hands as they pull out a deliciously meaty cock. You lick your lips in anticipation, the handcuffs being the only thing stopping you from gripping his shaft immediately. You look up at him with your sweetest expression. 

“What do you want me to do, Jo?”

He blinks at the sudden use of his given name, perhaps a little flustered by how intimate you’re getting. But he recovers quickly, smiling down at you as he says, “Suck my cock, little Miss Santa.”

You don’t waste any time. You lean your face forward and begin licking the hard, thick organ, from base to tip. You make sure to get it nice and wet, coating it in spit before taking the entire thing into your mouth, letting it fill your throat. 

Togame shudders and grips your hair, his cock twitching in your mouth. Maybe he didn’t expect you to take him so far so quickly. 

For a moment, you pause, just letting him feel your throat constricting around him, your tongue massaging the underside of his dick. But eventually you have to breathe, so you pull back just to get some air, only to plunge him right back in. This time you wrap your lips around his base and bob your head, sucking and licking as you go. 

Togame groans, his fingers threading through your hair, holding you firmly in place. You couldn’t pull back enough to let his cock slip out of your mouth if you wanted to. But why would you ever want that? He’s positively tasty, and throbbing so nicely. Such delectable precum is leaking from his tip, sliding down your throat. 

When he reaches his limit, he pulls your head back, and you open your mouth wide, letting the tip of his pulsing cock rest on your extended tongue. As he cums, his entire hot sticky load lands on your tongue and in your mouth, filling it full. 

After savoring it for a moment, you swallow it all, then lick your lips clean. Togame stares for several seconds, his face a little red. You know what you want from him, but you won’t ask directly. Instead, you look up through your lashes and ask, “Did I do good?”

He takes the hint, patting your head and saying, “Yeah, you did really good. Such a good girl for me.”

The words leave you dripping. You squirm on your knees, rubbing your thighs together. Your hands are still behind your back, your dress still pulled down to nearly your waist. 

Togame stands up and goes to the desk to get something else to play with. When he returns, he helps you to your feet and then stands behind you. He reaches around and ties a deep red blindfold around your head, blocking out your vision. You draw in a sharp breath. This is getting exciting!

He guides you back to the bed, and you hear the mattress squeak as he sits down again. Then he turns you around to face away from him and pulls you into his lap. 

You listen carefully, trying to figure out what he’s going to do next. The mystery is making you nervous in the best way possible. You hear only faint sounds you can’t identify, then you feel something smooth and firm touch each of your nipples. Is this…?

A clicking sound, and then one that’s very familiar to you, one you’ve been hoping to hear. The soft hum of the small bullet vibrators! At the same moment, you feel them vibrating against your tender skin, making you automatically jerk on the cuffs. Togame must be holding them to your tits. 

You’re making little breathy sounds, not quite moans but close, leaning back against his hard chest, feeling the cozy fabric of his shirt on your bare back. He’s so warm. 

One vibrator leaves your breast, and you feel him sliding the bottom of your dress up your thighs and above your hips. Thankfully you came prepared and wore no panties tonight. 

He pulls one leg away from the other, and you move the other leg, eagerly spreading for him. Then you feel his fingers on you, stroking your pussy, slipping between the folds to smear your wetness around. 

“You’re soaked already,” he says into your ear. The feeling of his breath so close causes goosebumps to form on your neck. 

“I have been since I got here,” you say back, your voice shaky as his finger circles your clit but doesn’t touch it. 

“Really?” he asks. “Do you grant a lot of wishes like this?”

“This is my first one,” you answer. 

His voice is like a purr. “What kind of work do you usually do?”

His finger is so close to hitting the jackpot. You squirm a bit in his lap. “Ahh… I usually… wrap presents… and sort them…”

You hear him chuckle under his breath. “So why did you decide to do this?”

“Th-they showed me your picture… and you looked sad. I just wanted to give you a merry Christmas!”

There’s a pause, where he stops moving for a moment, then you hear his voice again: “I want to give you a merry Christmas too.”

Immediately after, you feel the vibrator pressed against your clit, pulsing wildly at maximum power. You cry out, your body jerking with the sudden explosive pleasure. 

You cum instantly, trembling in his arms, but he’s still holding the vibrator to your extremely sensitive clit. With your hands cuffed behind you and the blindfold on, it makes your sense of touch so much stronger, and you feel truly helpless in a way that thrills you. 

“Ahh! T-too much!” you whine, reflexively trying to scoot back. But the vibrator is relentless, and Togame’s grip on you is firm. 

“You’re so cute when you cum,” he says, his voice dripping honey. “Show me again.”

The words make your already overstimulated clit throb, and only a few minutes later, you’re cumming again. Your entire body is shaking as you moan, your hands pulling at the cuffs. 

“There you go, being so good,” he murmurs, finally pulling the vibrator away and wrapping his arms around you. He holds you tight until your body stops trembling, then eases you off his lap. He unties the blindfold and lets it slip from your face, but he leaves the cuffs on. 

You look up at him. “What toy are we trying next?”

He walks over to the desk and looks over the items, then holds up a long anal bead stick. The beads are in alternating colors, red and green, and made of silicone. “This looks fun,” he says. 

You climb onto the bed, carefully since your hands are behind you, and look at him over your shoulder. “Come play with me,” you say, wiggling your ass. Your dress is just a piece of wadded fabric around your waist at this point, leaving most of your body exposed. 

Togame steps over and gets onto the bed behind you, pushing your top half forward until your face is pressing into the pillow, your ass in the air. He nudges your knees apart, and you feel him drip lube over your ass, rubbing it in and spreading it over both your holes. You hear him squeezing more out, probably onto the beaded stick, and then you feel the tip of the stick pressing against your little puckered hole. 

When the first bead slides in, you gasp. You’ve never tried this toy before, but you’ve always wanted to. The second bead slides in, then the third. There’s no pain, but the sensation is strange. Two more beads go in, and your breaths are coming faster, your heart racing.

Togame watches his adorable Santa girl twitch and quiver as he pushes more beads into her, causing her dripping pussy to clench and flutter. He’s waited as long as he can. He needs to be buried in this pretty little cunt right now. 

He positions himself at her entrance, rubbing the tip along her slit to let her know what’s coming. Her hands, cuffed behind her, are balled into fists. When ready, he pushes in, going all the way to the hilt and hearing her gasp. She’s so unbelievably tight, he almost gasps too. Maybe it’s because of the beads, but she’s clamping down on him so well he can hardly stand it. 

When he starts thrusting, she makes the sweetest sounds, little cries and moans that dance into his ears, occasionally whimpering his name. 

“Taking me so well,” he says, his hands gripping her hips to keep her in place as he plunges in and out. “Good, good girl.”

She feels so fucking good around him, so soft and warm and pliable. And she’s taking him so deep with no complaints. It’s like she was made for him. 

He reaches down and grips the handle of the bead stick, then begins pulling it out by a few beads before pushing it back in. Her pussy clenches, as if it’s trying to hold onto his dick forever. 

All at once, he pulls the whole stick out in one go. She cries out, her back arching and her mouth hanging open. He thinks she just came again, and it’s making her squeeze him impossibly hard. 

He can’t hold back any longer. This pussy is just too good. With a groan, he cums, shooting everything he has into the deepest parts of her. When he eventually pulls out, gobs of his cum leak out of her, making a lurid sight to see. 

They both pant for a few moments, then he uncuffs her hands and helps her turn over.  

She’s gazing up at him with her big, pretty eyes. “What do you want to play with next?”

She looks exhausted, spent, but she’s still willing to keep going. He’d specified “all night” after all. 

“Let’s take a quick break,” he says. 

They sit beside each other on the bed, and he asks the question that’s been burning in his brain for a while now. 

“After tonight is over, will I ever see you again?”

She looks up at him. “You can if you wish for it!” She seems happy he asked. 

He smiles. “Maybe next year I’ll wish for a wife.”

She flushes, looking away to hide her embarrassment. “That sounds lovely,” she says. 

He wraps one arm around her. “You’ve made this the best Christmas of my life.”

She snuggles closer. “And you’ve done the same for me.”

The two of them sit there a little while, just enjoying each other’s presence, before going back to enjoying each other’s presents.

Tag List:

@coldluminarykoala @atomicweaselpaperapricot @chocoyanchan @calculust-prime

[ariaste]

Do you have any advice on how to get funnier? Do you bounce jokes/plots/etc. off other people to see what hits? Do you just write what you find funny? I feel like I'm funny enough in real life, but it's hard to translate that to the page.

Oh gosh, this is a toughie. HOW TO FUNNY.

Well, for one thing, being funny in writing is a lot harder than being funny in person, because in person you're generally talking to people that you've built a rapport with (friends, acquaintances, coworkers). Humor is one of those instinctive evolutionary tools that we developed in order to help form social bonds. Like how our brains register babies as cute because or evolutionary development requires us to be really invested in caretaking. That's how an adult bonds to an infant, yes? But then there is also an evolutionary advantage in adults forming bonds with other adults. Sometimes this happens with physical traits like cuteness or hotness (romantic/sexual attraction is one type of bond), sometimes with vulnerability and "this person needs me" (caretaking is another type of bond)... There are lots of bonds. Leadership. Respect. Solidarity. Community.

But then humor is a REALLY effective form of bonding -- arguably the MOST effective, because it can trump any other of the other bonds any day of the week, and twice on Tuesdays. We have all met someone who was physically not that spectacular to look at, just sort of a Normal Looking Human, but then you find out that they are SO FUNNY and suddenly they are the "hottest" person in the room. We have all heard of a situation where someone was the leader of a clique and had managed to get everyone to worship them... Until a new jokester entered the social circle and suddenly the leadership-bond is not nearly so compelling as THIS GUY WHO MAKES EVERYONE LAUGH (and the leader gets huffy and grouchy about it, and suddenly everyone notices that the emperor has no clothes and that the leader were faking it the whole time. And then the local jester has won the day).

So how to GET FUNNIER? And how do I advise you, when comedy is so individual and what you find funny might be different than what I find funny?

First, study funny shit. Study it like a bug. Read funny books or watch comedy shows with an eye of "How are these jokes constructed? What is making it funny?" Frequently you will notice that some comedians aren't actually all that funny, they're just snarky and good at building rapport with the audience, so the audience laughs as an expression of the social bond, not because the joke was legitimately hilarious. (Here is my "this made me Actually Laugh out loud" tag if you want some insight into my comedy style and possible raw material to study)

Second, a lot of writers like Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams have written about the art of writing comedy, and I'm sure that there are how-to books for comedians as well.

There are a couple main things that make something funny: The juxtaposition of things, the element of surprise, anticipation that pays off, repetition of an established joke, and comedic timing. (Notice that surprise and anticipation are OPPOSITES -- sometimes a thing can be funny when we see it coming a mile away. Sometimes a thing is funny when it is unexpected.)

Examples: In this video, the comedy is coming from the juxtaposition of the background song against the long shot of the Oreos. We see the punchline coming from a mile away (the oreo package says "MOST STUF" and yet he takes the oreos apart to increase the stuf, thereby disproving the package's claim), and so it reasserts something that many people already know and have experienced for themselves. It's the "we've all been there" effect. This would probably not be a funny to people who did not grow up eating Oreos, or who for some reason did not go through the spontaneous phenomenon of "take them apart for MORE SUGAR".

Comedic timing is, of course, the king of comedy techniques, and it is the hardest to pull off in writing. Or, well, people say that it is the hardest. It's not actually the hardest, because it's just a subcategory of the technique of Pacing, both on a story level and on a sentence level. If you can figure out how to take control of the reader's mind and ride them like they're a jaeger and you're the pilot, then you can make them laugh. This is done by controlling the SPEED that they're reading at and the rhythm -- control their speed and rhythm and you control comedic timing. Controlling a reader's speed is done with relatively simple techniques, of which there are two big ones:

Sentence length. Really short sentences read fast. Use a lot of short sentences. Your readers will read quickly. This style is easy to skim. Unfortunately, it can also get boring. See what I'm doing here? Lots of short sentences. On the other hand, as everyone knows and as you have probably experienced for yourself, longer sentences give the impression of a longer and more complex and nuanced thought, even if not as much information is being conveyed; it's a simple matter of hanging a lot of dependent clauses off of one main thing and seeing how long you can go before you hit that final full stop. Varying your sentence length varies your timing and starts to unlock some of the timing control necessary to generate comedy. You can put something in a joke rhythm with this and then it will read like a joke.

Forcing a pause. A pause is the alpha and the omega of comedy. Thus, do not underestimate the comedic potential of a strategic paragraph break. The human brain works so quickly that even the NANOSECONDS it takes for your eyes to physically move from one line, through the strategic paragraph break, to the punchline -- that alone is enough time for the brain to register a pause and for the reader to then feel "surprised". Strategic paragraph break is perhaps the king of comedic writing techniques, IMO. (Careful not to overuse it!)

There are other mechanical techniques involved, but these are the big ones for timing. With these, you can take an otherwise unfunny scene and adjust it through nothing but timing alone to suddenly be funny.

Finally, a fun fact: When I am writing comedy, I am writing with a dead straight face. I am a cold and ruthless joke-engineering machine. I nearly never laugh at my own jokes. There is ONE (1) joke that got me to crack when I was writing Running Close to the Wind, and that was someone talking about Avra "scuttling up a tree like a little rat that's got something badly wrong with it". Still makes me grin to this day. Idk man.

Anyway I hope that helped!! wow this got long

[kurishiri]

Hii thank you so much for all the translations you’ve done!

I wanted to ask how would you describe Darius personally? I’m so interested in him as a character but the lack of information makes it hard to figure out anything about him ;; I don’t think we have any hints about his past so far? Unless I’m mistaken

helloow anon! ty for reading my tls too 🤍 i'll try to describe darius in the way i can- but theres overall not much known at all ab him yet either in the game so also take my words with grain of salt hehr

about darius and his possible past (its an attempt guys) ↓

hmm on the surface or at first glance, he kind of has a childish air to him to me. and i think hes naturally tht way .. as in i dont think he acts ths way in an attempt to actively hide smth else ab him, but also i think it serves to sort of underplay(?) just how scheming or wily he can actually be. he could also say the most “wtf” things with a smile on his face or with a calm voice ,, if you read the 2nd anniversary collection story (darius’ line to ring; iykyk) and darius’ story bonus with his “joke” to kate, you could probably feel ths.

i think theres also smth ,, sort of emotionally removed abt darius. he sort of views himself as an angel and whtnot and sees those who r cursed as superior to those who r not. i think there is ths sort of clash between his “inhumane” side where he shows an amicable smile but it doesnt reach his eyes and he struggles to empathize with others, and his also deeply human side.

after all, for all his hate toward “humans” like kate, he seems to show a rather strong attachment to her as well. all tht to say: he feels emotions like anyone else, and he feels them strongly (probably influenced in part by kate) — bc whether he likes it or not, he, too, is a human who happens to be cursed — and he does feel emotions such as jealousy, hurt, frustration .. but he doesnt know wht those emotions would be called. he cant put a label to his own emotions bc hes somehow convinced himself? tht such emotions r like beyond him and all tht jazz.

really, darius to me is sort of a case of a lot of “hes ths, but also tht” and all. a walking contradiction, in part due to his own philosophies and maybe trauma?

vros got negative emotional intelligence lmao

implications of his past

there r some subtle hints ab his past, actually! none of thm r super out there so its hard to catch and does require some like inference and theorizing, but i think we have like a couple parts we can sort of go off of here :>

for example, food. the favorite subject of his stories lmao its implied he may have dealt with attempts at poisoning him with food before or some other food-related trauma in the past. he is a noble, so it probably makes some sense if ths is a case, though it would leave the question of why him?

for one, he has mentioned he hates potatoes bc he ate so much of thm in the past tht he is like tired of thm and cant stand even the sight of thm. i forget which story he mentions the first part (it mightve been the wicked romance story event one), but he mentions the latter part in his 2nd anniversary story — the one you get by sending 400 times to him haha.

there r also moments (will vs darius story event and his dining bond story for example, among others) where he will find a way to like .. not have to be the one eating first. for example whn will gets him food, darius sort of indirectly makes sure tht will eats first before he eats himself. or it could be the same with kate. hes pretty subtle abt ths though — like he will never phrase it in a way tht makes it seem like food could be a potential weakness for him, but i think its sort of like a thing in his stories sometimes.

in the bond story where he shares a “secret” with you, its likely he was talking ab a moment in his past — specifically the part where he may have met nica and ring — though he phrased ths like a story to kate. but i think the fact they did ths in ths specific bond story, titled secret talk, gives it more possibility tht ths “story” is a real anecdote, yk?

and in tht same story, he tells another short anecdote abt nica and ring, saying how they really r a family. theres also the fact he is trying to create a family himself too ,, it kinda makes me think he may have had some familial issues? plus, there is his level 23 bond story where he basically says tht he liked how kate didnt try to leave him whn he is lonely or alone, smth like tht. perhaps he had some form of abandonment issue in the past?

well ,, these r all theories in the end! but maybe its smth to go off of hehr

[dichenlachmandaily]

'Saying Dinosaur Names Is No Joke.’ I Would Love Saying Atrociraptor Over And Over, But Jurassic World's Dichen Lachman Admits It Takes Some 'Homework'

Life has found a way to keep dinosaur fans happy on the 2025 TV schedule, thanks to Jurassic World: Chaos Theory Season 3! A new round of adventures has brought the Camp Fam from Camp Cretaceous even deeper into the web of intrigue connecting to Jurassic World Dominion.

The return of Dichen Lachman’s Soyona “The Broker” Santos continues to blur that line, reintroducing us all to a world where Atrociraptors still roam the earth. As we chatted about her character's Jurassic Park Universe with commanding Atrociraptors, Ms. Lachman told CinemaBlend about this very real challenge with these prehistoric beasts:

"…by the way, saying dinosaur names is no joke. It's like trying to read Greek mythology and pronounce the names correctly. It's so complicated, and I do remember being in the booth, and having to give some of them a go, and then another go, and another go. … Other than Atrociraptors, it was most of them."

While I think I’d have fun saying names like “Atrociraptor” or “Ankylosaurus” on a recurring basis, I can still identify with Dichen Lachman’s Jurassic World: Chaos Theory woe. Even thinking of trying to pronounce “Baryonyx” or “Compsognathus” is a hypothetical weakness, so I don’t envy anyone who has this concern.

So when this Severance star laid out an opportunity that was both a welcomed return, and an unfortunate verbal exercise on Season 3 of this Netflix subscription booster, I could totally see her point. Though I have to say, after discussing this very real problem, I think we should all take a moment and appreciate the various hybrids made by Dr. Wu and his lab assistants never had names as complicated as those of academia.

While Chaos Theory understands Jurassic Park’s legacy as a beloved science fiction classic, it does allow for a bit of a breather from the Latin-intensive names that go beyond entry level difficulty. After all, they can't all have names that end in "Rex."

However, as Dichen Lachman continued to discuss why she’s particularly concerned with the matter, I was even more impressed with her Chaos Theory performance. Continuing to discuss the issue that prehistoric creatures and their names present in a recording booth, Lachman opened up to CinemaBlend with this further insight:

"I'm actually quite dyslexic, and so I'm very insecure about reading words that aren't very familiar to me. It never inhibits my acting, especially 'cause I do my homework, but sometimes with these words in a show like this, I have to be told exactly how it's said."

Admitting that “Google can only take you so far” is a lot for anyone in a career path that requires you to be able to say things properly. There have been times where even after asking for how to pronounce the name of the talent I’m interviewing I might still trip over the pronunciation.

So why would an actor willingly put themselves through the aural equivalent of wrangling an ornery Allosaurus? That question can be answered by referencing another identifiable aspect of this Jurassic World experience, shared by Dichen Lachman as follows:

"But it was tremendously fun to record this character and spend so much more time with her, because as you know, in the film she's not central, in terms of the plot and what's happening. But I didn't get a lot of time to live in her. This opportunity has been so wonderful, because I love that character and I love her energy, and to be given that gift has just been really rewarding."

As Jurassic World Rebirth brings us further into the future, and we know that Dichen Lachman’s Broker survives Dominion and Chaos Theory's events, there’s always room for her to pop up again in the future. And as she mentioned in another portion of our interview, that’s a rumor she’d love to get started sooner rather than later.

Alas, we don’t know if Soyona Santos will be mentioned on Rebirth’s July 2nd opening weekend. However, you can watch her do what she does best in Seasons 2 and 3 of Jurassic World: Chaos Theory - both of which are currently streaming on Netflix. Or, if you're still reeling over Dichen Lachman's Severance Season 2 finale feelings, you know where to find that world of danger and deceit.

[liketolaugh-writes]

I’m thinking of starting to write fanfiction, and I really love the way you write. Do you have any possible tips or suggestions? Thank you 🙏🙏🙏

❤️❤️❤️

Basic suggestions:

If your fandom is something with voice actors, try to keep a hold of that voice in your head! When I was starting out, I'd play the dialogue I was writing and see if I could hear it in their voice, and I like to think that helped me get the hang of character voice.

Write the story you want to read. If you have a lot of feelings about something - for example, the relationship between two characters or another character's chronically unfulfilled needs - it's easier to write an emotionally powerful story about it.

If you're writing a romance: why do your characters love each other? What needs (emotional or otherwise) do they fulfill for each other? How do they express love? Where are and aren't they compatible?

If you have a story in mind but it doesn't seem to have any forward moment: it might need more conflict. Make problems for the characters to fix, or create problems for them to struggle with. Something needs to drive the story forward.

Advanced suggestions:

Don't show your belly. If you're holding back something in your writing out of a fear of criticism - don't. Emotions are your most powerful tool here. Rip your heart out and bleed onto the paper.

Have other hobbies. This sounds like a joke but I'm actually so serious about this. Writing really strong, emotional stories requires Opinions - a good grasp of what you think about human nature, psychology, and society. My interests in world history and true crime have informed my writing way more than you think they do.

Get a really solid grasp of grey morality. Fandom as a hivemind tends to struggle a lot with this, and it's easy to fall into false dichotomies. But listen: sometimes people aren't good or bad. Sometimes they're just sort of okay. Sometimes they're not really okay but they're not evil either. Sometimes they're sincerely well-intentioned but that's just not enough, and sometimes they're ill-intentioned but don't deserve to be punished.

Psychology is your best friend. Psychology is what makes characters real. Your natural understanding of people (whatever that may be) will only take you so far. You need to research and understand, especially in fandom, how people respond to abuse, to trauma, and to stress.

OC-specific:

I have some guidelines that I try to follow when introducing original characters! This is specific to fanfiction and is not advice intended for original work, and it is mostly about introducing your characters in such a way that your audience does not instantly hate them. (It is also advice tailored to fics centered on canon characters, not OC-centric or Reader fics.)

If a canon character is The Best at something, your OC should not be better at it.

'Whump' is a genre that heavily depends on a fandom's preexisting love for a character and sympathy for their plight. Whumping your OC is something that has to wait, preferably until after you've established a relationship between them and canon characters.

Having your OC talk down to canon characters is very rarely going to endear your audience to them.

Your OC's tragic backstory must wait. You can drop parts of it as early as you want, especially plot-relevant ones, but serious exploration requires audience investment.

I hope this helps! <3

[goteigirls]

Random Marriage drabbles

Hello everyone! This is my first time posting a drabble like this, if I missed anything please let me know, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

CW: Unexpectedly suggestive in Unohana’s part 😭 I’m so down bad for that woman

CAPTAIN UNOHANA

At the beginning of the marriage, I believe Unohana wanted to keep it low profile. Not because she’s ashamed of her wife, hell, far from it, she just wants to assure that no one in the Seireitei bothers you with things concerning her, as a lot of people are too scared to approach directly. One of the things that she loves about keeping it quiet is that if someone tries to make a move on you, she comes out of nowhere (As far as you know) to ask that person what they’re talking to her wife about with an eerie smile on her face. It's enough to send them running.

The Soul Reapers of Squad 11 could be stubborn brutes, you knew this firsthand as well as the warning words from your wife. How unfortunate you ran into one during your nightly walk around the Seireitei.

“Hey there pretty lady… you alone tonight?”

Your eyes narrowed and your nose scrunched up at the strong stench of sweat and alcohol. You felt a man twice your size place his hand on the wall next to your head, you didn't even turn to meet his gaze and sighed, you didn't feel the least bit concerned.

“I'm on my way home, if you'll excuse me.”

“Come on, I wanna get to know you, got some time on your hands?” You finally turn your head to look at the man, the rugged face familiar to you, a man, a small fry of the eleventh squad under Captain Zaraki Kenpachi. You can't seem to recall his name though.

“No sir, I have someone to go home to.”

“Your husband doesn't have to know.” Just as the man is about to put his hand on your waist, you see a figure flash step behind the man in front of you.

“My, a conversation doesn't require two people to be so close, tell me boy, what could you talking about with my wife that needs you to be?”

You see the man visibly sober up, turning his head so fast you swear he got whiplash. A spine-chilling smile was present on Unohana’s face.

“C-Captain Unohana!” the man comically scoots 5 feet away from you faster than you could process. “I-I didn't know she was your w-wife, I-I apologize deeply for my actions, have a wonderful night!” and there he goes, running off.

“It's rather comical how fast that one ran away, quicker than the last one.” you watched him get smaller and smaller as he went further and further, turning your attention back to your wife.

Her expression softens when she looks at you, giving you a genuine smile. “Never mind that you should just go straight to my infirmary if you insist on having these walks, we could go together.”

“I like it when you have to go around and chase me though.” You half-joked and pouted playfully, leaping onto her chest while looking up at her through your eyelashes.

She didn’t budge when you leaned against her, her eyes narrowed at your words but her smile didn’t falter, “Acting like that can get you into bad situations, quiet down before you eat your words.”

You knew what she meant, and it struck lightning throughout your body. A redness slithered its way across your face. Your gaze shifted, and so did your body, your arm wrapped around hers and you stood by her side. “Let’s go home please?”

“That was enough to get you going? Hm well, I guess I’ll have to take responsibility once we get there, yes?”

CAPTAIN SOIFON

She definitely has a soft spot for her wife, though she can be mean sometimes, she tries her best to show her affection! When at home, after her duties as a Captain, she enjoys spending time with you. She isn’t a romantic by any means but she loves star gazing by the engawa by your shared room before bed.

The stars sparkled in the sky so beautifully tonight, you thought every time you saw it, it was a sight you’d never tire of, but you could also say the same for the woman sitting next to you.

You turn your head to Soifon, analyzing every detail of her side profile in your gaze. To her night clothes, to her unwrapped hair, and the relaxed expression on her face.

“I can feel you staring.” Her cheeks quickly became rosey, and she tilted her to the side to stare back at you, “Is there something you wanna say?”

“No, nothing. I just like admiring you is all.”

She didn’t respond, looking back at the stars to avoid your gaze. You smiled mischievously and pounced on her suddenly, but being the captain of the stealth squad meant that she had way quicker reflexes than you, so you ended up pushed against the floor face down with Soifon on top of you, one of her arms placed next to your head and the other gently pinning one of your arms against your back.

“Oh! Not so rough Soifon!” You whined, though it was an exaggeration. You giggled right after, squirming in her grip.

“Tch, idiot, You’re not exactly subtle with the uptake.” She let go of your arm but didn’t move from her place on top of you. She watched you turn your body to face up at her, your loving gaze and smile was enough to put her in shambles.

Before she could move away, you slipped your hands around her shoulders and wrapped your legs around her waist to lock her in place, “take me to the futonnnnnn.” You made a kissy face at her.

Soifon grumbled under her breath, “I didn’t marry a child.” She placed a hand on your back and another under your thigh, using her strength to pull you and herself up to stand while carrying you against your body.

You happily placed your chin on her shoulder as she carried you to your shared bedroom, the futon already laid out in the middle of the room. Just as she was gonna place you down, you stole a kiss.

LIEUTENANT MATSUMOTO

I imagine Rangiku to have a wife who's constantly dotting on her due to her lazy tendencies and makes her help Captain Hitsugaya like she's supposed to. Rangiku reluctantly listens to her occasionally but there are moments when she pulls her wife along to join her naps on the couch in Hitsgaya's office, which the Captain walks in on, not the least bit surprised, but he’ll let this slide a couple of times.

“Rangiku! Aren't you supposed to be doing paperwork right now?!” you put one of your hands on your hips with a disapproving, and the other held a tray of food, you thought it would've been a nice gesture to get your wife some lunch today.

The blonde’s eyes snapped open and shot up from her resting place on the couch with a slightly groggy sheepish grin on her face, “ Oh hey sweetheart, didn't know you were coming to visit the office.”

“Don’t change the topic!”

“Is that food for me, dawh! You shouldn't have!” Rangiku ignores your scolding and gets up to walk over to you and leads you to the couch, “I'm glad I have such a cute wife that gets me lunch sometimes, Come on let's enjoy it together.”

You looked at her, unamused, a blush dusting your face. You'll just have to find a way to get your irresponsible wife to work another time.

After a bit of teasing from Rangiku, and finishing lunch, you leaned your head against her shoulder. She went on about unimportant details about her day and how slow it was, her voice lulling you into a much-needed rest after the work you had done around the Seireitei.

She got quieter as she noticed your eyes drooping. She smiled and wrapped an arm around your waist gently so it wouldn’t interrupt your slip into slumber.

Bonus

The white-haired Captain entered his office, immediately spotting his lieutenant sleeping with her lover leaning on her shoulder. He had an urge to start yelling at her to get up, but in the corner of his eye, he saw a messy stack of papers on his desk.

Walking to his desk, he noticed that Rangiku’s share of paperwork had been completely done. “ The bare minimum of work… it’ll have to do.” And off to work he went, as quietly as possible.

[telvess]

Record of Ragnarok: What kind of pet do they have?

I'm like Tesla 🤣

Jack

I once read that people who are broken or haven’t experienced much love as children tent to choose animals that are less popular and sometimes seen as bad omens, such as black cats or ravens. So I see that Jack has a rat as a pet. They are intelligent and very clean animals, with an unfairly given bad reputation, and I think that suits Jack very well.

Nicola Tesla

Hear me out, Tesla is the proud owner of a turtle. There's a joke going around turtle owners that every time the turtle does something - such as yawns or falls asleep - you take a photo or video of it and happily show it to everyone. This is Tesla. The entire science crew has a mailbox full of this kind of spam, and their all sigh whenever Tesla sends them a new video of his pet doing absolutely nothing.

Poseidon

I think he likes animals in general. He despises humans and most gods for not behaving as they should, but animals are themselves. They do what is expected of them, they are excellent at being themselves, if that makes sense. So Poseidon probably has a dog that he has trained very well. The dog listens to all commends and generally behaves very well.

Hades

It’s canon that Hades has a pet - cockatoo. These animals require a lot of attention from their owner, which makes sense because we all know how lonely Hades is. He is literally playing chess with it! The parrot probably knows some fancy words like „magnificent” or „mellifluous”, and a whole bunch of wine names that it randomly says. Adamas, by the way, puts some effort into educating the bird too and incidently teaches it how to swear.

Beelzebub

Given how little he cares and how little he CAN care, the only option he has is fish. He gives it a good tank, he remembers to feed it and that’s it. They just exist. Damn… how depressing…

Loki

Two options. First: SAND ANT FARM. He watches it from time to time, mocking the ants for poor direction choices or just messing up with them for funnies. Second option is ferret. Loki finds them both annoying and interesting. There’s no boredom with them.

Ares

Ares thinks highly about himself, after all he is a part of the most powerful pantheon and the son of Zeus. He believes that he deserves only the best, which mean that whatever animal he gets, it will be a pure breed. If he chooses a cat or dog, it will receives a golden pillow to sleep on, a silver food bowl, the fanciest toys, the best caretakers, and… „the best owner”.

Thor

Thor has a cat. Most of the time they simply exist in their spaces and don’t interact. But every now and then a cat comes to Thor and demands a scratch, which Thor gives without hesitation. Loki once overheard Thor talking to his pet in those rare moments. Surprisingly, he speaks in a very gentle and caring tone, almost like mother to her child.

Hajun

He probably has a tank full of dead fish. Never cleaned, never fed, never bothered.

Lu Bu

Lu Bu has a pussy. He had no intention of having a pet, so the cat had to choose him, and Lu Bu obligated. He gives it lots of scratches and plays with it. Lu Bu is unfazed by the claws. Hearing her meow when he isn’t close puts him in a fighting stance. Nobody hurts his cat girl.

Hermes

Budgies! The guy has a lot of responsibilities, he's probably the last to fall asleep and the first to wake up, but he still finds time for his melodious pets. They always get the best snacks and for some unknown reason they become very excited when Zeus is around.

Göll

She has hamster, as small and cute as she is. Göll tries very hard to provide it a happy life, which probably means she’s trying too hard. She asks all his sisters for advice, and knowing how many siblings she has, she probably ends up with very conflicting opinions.

Zerofuku

Definitely rabbit. They are both full of energy, do not pose a threat and just enjoy themselves on a clearing somewhere.

Buddha

He doesn't have a pet, but he occasionally looks after Zerofuku’s and Göll's pets. He complains that he doesn't have time and that he doesn't care, but in the end he has a great time with the rabbit and hamster.

Noah

I think he ends up with a pigeon. He just feeds it from time to time in the same place and slowly tames it. Before he knows it, the bird becomes a new part of his life. He tells it about his problems, about Luna, Jack, Mother Goose and Shakespeare. This pigeon has therapeutic properties.

Qin

Definitely a husky. I see just two idiots keep talking to each other and arguing over nothing. The more the emperor demands something, the louder the husky's tantrum will be.

[thegeminisage]

Rate Your OC: Rook Mercar

i was tagged by @itsrainingpandas, thank you!!! everybody go read this fic it made me nuts

Compassion: 8/10

giving her a high but not 100% rating on this because i think she's incredibly compassionate and cares a lot about the greater good, but that compassion is also conditional. for example, let's say a...coworker's grandmother died and he was DEVASTATED. she would show up with bad jokes and a can-do attitude and go to go to the funeral with him etcetc. if that same thing happened to like. idk a magister. she would show up at the funeral not for moral support but to throw rotten vegetables. 

Bitterness: 1,000,000/10

what's so funny is if you asked rook if she was bitter she would respond, with chest, like haha what? no! that's silly! who has that kind of time! and then she would go stare at herself in the mirror for ten minutes without moving. i don't think even she realizes it until it's time to choose between cities and she just...can't care about minrathous, her birthplace and home for the last ~15 years, more than she cares about treviso, which she visited for the first time five metaphorical minutes ago. a lot of shitty stuff has happened to her and most of it was not her fault, and because her parents were slaves, and because (at least in my mind palace, but i am extrapolating from what we hear from dorian and krem) minrathous is not a good place to be trans, and because, as a shadow dragon, she sees the evils of that city up close day in and day out...i think she reached critical mass at about the same time the dragon attack happened and then spent a long time second-guessing how she feels and what really matters to her. 

Happiness: 7/10

despite all that, i don't think rook is one to dwell unless like. something comes up. varric says about all rooks that they tend to think in straight lines, and i interpret that to mean if she has a goal or work she finds meaning in, people to share life with, and nothing overtly rancid is actively happening to her, she is satisfied. she's very quick with the jokes and one of those people who are like. what can you even do but laugh about it. the city choice was just the perfect storm of awfulness.

Chivalry: 0/10

she grew up on a boat. for the first ~13 years of her life she associated exclusively with sailors and dockhands and their children. she knows the cuss words in every language in thedas and has no respect for authority. 

Pride: 3/10

all but impossible to embarrass. if she tripped over her own feet or accidentally smacked herself in the face with her staff or stuck her foot in her mouth she'd cope with that pretty easily. she doesn't do awkward moments. this sort of comes from the trans coffee date dialogue ("life is too short to be defined by other people") which implies she really doesn't care what others think. her one thing is, having spent so much time in tevinter where it's only been legal to be trans for as long as maevaris tilani has been doing it, being weird about that in any way will get her shoulders up around her ears. like, she still doesn't care what you think but in the way that she is preparing herself to punch you about it if she has to.

Honesty: 5/10

she has a good poker face (grace face?) but she's kind of a bad liar. it's not even that she objects to lying morally. she's 100% pro lying (she was friends with varric, after all). she's just not good at it. she can tell little fibs and sometimes con her way past guards or soldiers in the moment when a plan requires it (sorry for the m*rvel reference but she COULD do get help), but usually when she has to lie she goes "fuck it" and just starts swinging. she also can't keep Big Secrets from loved ones without it eating her inside and she would also be useless at anything resembling a long con or deep undercover work. no solas-esque double life for her.

Bravery: 11/10

i think this applies to all rooks, really. you kind of have to be to tangle with gods.

Recklessness: 11/10

i feel like this is also a universal rook trait - every rook did something reckless to get kicked out of their home country prior to teaming up with varric, and varric says that "thinks in straight lines" thing about all rooks too, but yes, she leaps before she looks unless there are lives on the line, in which case she does both at the same time.

Ambition: 0/10

it's a good thing she wasn't the protagonist of inquisition because she would've hacked her arm off right then and there and told them to deal with it themselves. she does Not like being a leader and can't wait until varric gets better so he can take the job back from her :)

Loyalty: 9/10 

it would have been 10/10 before she stabbed neve in the back with the city choice <3

Love: 8/10

rook loves pretty easily (not just romantically, but in all senses) and is pretty open about loving people, but she's lost so many people that she worries that she'll eventually get hurt again. which is inevitable, but she can't ever seem to help herself. for lucanis specifically, rook tried very hard NOT to love him (she has abomination trauma) and then did anyway in spite (lol) of her best intentions.

Sense of Family: 5/10

she loved her parents a lot and had a really good relationship with them both prior to them dying in the mage-templar conflict at the end of da2, and she considers the shadow dragons her found family...until they kick her out. having lost two families in a row, she's a little slower to come to terms with the idea of the veilguard team as her family, but she gets there eventually. with the exception of varric, of course. she came to think of him as family pretty quickly. probably there involved a little bit of booze and her ugly sobbing on his shoulder about the unfairness of it all re: kirkwall and then they couldn't not be friends after that. boy, it's a good thing that lyrium dagger missed his heart and that he's got a nice big infirmary to recover in, she would be devastated if anything happened to the guy who gave her her name!

Attractiveness: ??/10

i don't think i can judge this objectively. that said, i did go into the CC (before i even knew i was making an OC out of her) intending to make her a little plain, because always seeing these dragon age supermodels makes things feel...a little unrealistic. she's not supposed to be super sexy, she's just Some Guy (gender neutral). i DO think it's really funny that lucanis (demi king) is like "yeah she's fine i guess objectively she's pretty enough" until he falls for her and then suddenly without her having altered her appearance at all he finds her so attractive that he's walking into walls

Agility: 5/10

she's no rogue or anything, but she did get combat training from her mom, who used to be one of danarius's bodyguards. coincidentally, one of the weapons she did best with was a quarterstaff, which means as a mage she can also just...beat people up with her staff even if she gets silenced. very handy.

Sex Drive: 10/10

she was taking the thedas version of estrogen starting in her late teens and had NO adult supervision when she was adopted by the anti-slavery group who eventually formed the shadow dragons. she was having so much casual sex. safe sex! consensual sex! don't worry. she got sex ed and she doesn't get into anything hinky she can't get herself out of. but lots of sex. she gets horny so often it annoys her. during the year she spent hanging out with varric and harding she'd be like sorry lads i've gotta step away for the evening and theyre like AGAIN and she is like yeah again and trust me i also wish i was not like this. this is specifically to contrast with lucanis, who didn't even really know what being horny felt like until he met her.

I AM TAGGING: @maulthots @slaygentford @sun-marie @flowersforthemachines unless you've done it already, in which case, whoops. AND i'm tagging anybody else who wants to do it do it & say i tagged you <3

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Not a lot of variety in Hazbin Hotel

Another thing I dislike about Hazbin Hotel is the genuine lack of diversity.

With a setting like Hell you have the amazing opportunity to have characters from so many different time periods interact. With different fashion, different skills, different believes or upbringings it's incredibly easy to make characters that stand apart from eachother and create conflict (atleast it should be).

But with Vivzepops disinterest in making characters that even slightly stray away from the specific way she likes to write them, a lot of them end up blending together in how they act/look. Hazbin Hotel has this pretended diversity, where it seems like the cast should vary because on the surface they are very different, but in the show they blend together. This is because Vivzepop throws around different jobs, sexualities, nationalities, goals and inspirations for her characters, but never puts in the work to make them feel like it.

Sir Pentious, Alastor and Vox are all from different times, with different occupations. Sir Pentious was an inventor in the 1880s, Alastor was a radio host from the 1930s and Vox was a TV show host from 1950 (that's the era they died in). Yet they all wear very similar suits, just colour shifted. They all have shoulder pads, the same lapels, stripes and bowties. Alastor and Vox even wear the same pants and have the same shoes (atleast in shape).

Not to mention that in almost all of the designs there's that obnoxious red colour (especially with the red-black-white combination she just loves to put on her creations).

Even characters like Vox who seem like they have different colours (for him a mostly blue colour sceme) still have red accents and only very few characters are allowed designs without any red. Which is not that great since the background is also mostly red and it just hurts to look at sometimes.

Theres also all of the "typical" Vivzepop desing traits. Mostly sharp shapes and features, very slim bodies, sharp teeth, tophats, suits etc. A lot of her characters already blend together even though it doesnt make sense for them to. Would an inventor from the 1880s really dress the same as a TV show host from the 1950s?

Here I should mention that I don't mean blend together as in being completely indistinguishable from eachother but rather having too many similarities that it doesn't make sense for them to have.

As far as personality goes I do have to say that the characters are different enough in their basic chatacterizations. Vaggie especially was mostly refreshing because she acted as a voice of reason sort of and Charlie with her often naive (but very childish) attitude also stood out. But the devil is usually in the details.

I've heard people complain countless times about how pretty much the only continuous joke the show has is a character cursing, insulting others or making a sex joke. I get that cynical characters are sort of the appeal of HH but there's also just a lack of variety there for me. This is probably just a small nitpick here and something that is already done sometimes in the show, but there are different ways a person can be insulting and mean.

Like, for Husk it makes sense to be so up-front with being rude. He's a bartender and dealing with drunk people often requires being very clear and assertive.

But why does Angel never get to do anything else then directly talking about being sexy and making fun of others in such an obvious way. I think they wanted to give the appeal of him reading someone like a drag queen would but he just makes the same observations again and again and not in really clever ways (from what I remember!).

Alastor and Vox could've also been used better in the sense that atleast from what I know people in the entertainment industry (especially ones who do interviews or that stuff) won't directly tell someone that they don't like them. It's much more common for them to bring it up in small ways, like asking a question tied to an embarrassing topic to force the person into having to talk about that stuff.

Like I said this isn't really all too important though. What makes me more annoyed is the lack of diversity when it comes to the villains and how they're treated.

To me Viv has an issue with trying for every villain to play a more goofy role even though it doesn't always fit. Of course you can have "stupid" or silly and mostly funny villains but that shouldn't be every single one. When there are multiple villains in a show what makes them interesting is often how they differ from the others in their attitude and motivation and in HH we just don't really get that.

Sir pentious is never taken seriously as a threat and is mostly treated as incompetend, (I know he gets out of being the villain rather quick but even before that) Adam is just constantly portrayed as a dumb and irrational until we are supposed to take him seriously in the end. Vox doesn't do anything in the show apart from be kinda antagonistic towards Alastor and outside of that he is mainly also presented as being a fun villain rather than an intimidating one (very prominently in the song he has with Alastor where Alastor just completely bashes him at the end). Velvette also has nothing to do. Lucifer isn't treated as an antagonist (even though he should be in my opinion) and is shown to be just a "goofy and silly little guy" ig.

And apart from Valentino's genuinely terrifing scene he has with Angel Dust in episode four, he too is shown to be whiny, obnoxious and mostly dumb in his other scenes (this isn't helped by Viv pushing the idea that the Vee's are just like fun little saturday morning cartoon villains outside of the show). I guess Alastor is different in that regard kinda.

This plus the fact that outside of the characters who are obviously villains no one is allowed to be even slightly critical of Charlies idea without being presented as totally irrational, makes for no variety when it comes to the opposition in Hazbin Hotel. It's just kinda dissapointing to me that a show with this opportunity to create different characters gets stuck in the same conflicts and ideas over and over again.

[readbyred]

I've read that some characters from the moomins like Snufkin, little my and their mother and their sisters are not really humans. So how would Snufkin, Moonin and the other characters react when they meet s/o who is a girl human that one day appeared in moonmin Valley?

You added other characters and I will absolutely use it to push more Sniff content on you! Also yeah. Considering moomins are canonically REALLY damn tiny, the humanoid looking characters would be like fairies or sth. But I will make them human sized bc I think it's easier to write (if you want more accuracy, sent me a message and I'll do one more)

Snufkin is pretty unfazed compared to others. He’s been travelling enough to have come across humans at some point. Pretty surprised to find out that his upbringing is something so strange (I mean, im pretty sure he was allowed to wander around before he would be considered old enough to do so by human standards). Sometimes, when he’s feeling a bit silly he makes stuff up about his kind to trick you. Says it in the most chill voice too so the only way to fact check him is to ask his half-sister. Little My calls him out every time just to be a menace, in true older sister fashion

And when it comes to Little My, she treats you like one of the group regardless. But that doesn't mean she’s not going to complain about your long human legs and so on. Will absolutely use you to get the things she wants off of high shelves. And will laugh if you bang your head on something. I mean, the creatures you come across come in different sizes so it’s not uncommon to find homes and structured built for them. But it's sweet sometimes too (as sweet as she can be) when she calls you her human. And maybe, sometimes (since having humans around isn't something most residents are used to) she’ll drag you around to some events with the neighbors to see their reaction (and maybe to brag about her gf, but she won't tell you that-)

On the other hand Snorkmaiden is so curious! Asks you about human culture and fashion. Sometimes the others joke that she’s turning into her brother. Begs you to take her to a human village, though that would either require crazy high stealth or some magic. Since you just showed up in the Moominvalley, she’s very open to show you all the kinds of wonders that were ordinary to her before. Being with you made her see them as more special, she loves that part of your relationship a lot. Plus, if you compliment her ability to change colour (not sure if that's a part of the show, but she can do that in the books) she’ll flush and turn all colours of the rainbow

Okay, Sniff is a funny one because this guy’s afraid of so much but also wants to seem so brave and cool in front of you. Of course, he insists that he was totally not terrified when you two first met. And he thinks being human makes you kind of special (I mean, in Moominvalley it actually does) so he’ll always emphasize that he’s your favourite. Yeah, that's right guys, he has a human girlfriend and she likes him best. Right? You do like him best, yes? Overall, he’s pretty silly and will exaggerate everyday things just to see the shine of wonder in your eyes (and because he feels like he has to give you something special so you stay with him). Still terrified that you just found your way into the valley though, what if bad humans come too 😰😰

Moomin is a lot more carefree about the idea. He’s so happy to be with you and show you around though he tends to forget that the things that might be ordinary to him are totally new to you. Obsessed with any type of human trinket you have on you. And if he could he’d stay up all night just to hear you talk about your life before coming to live with them. Honestly, he asks a lot of questions and some of them might be a little intrusive, but he doesn't get upset if you don't want to answer them. Oh, and he might have forgotten to mention the hibernation thing to you. Oops

As expected, Snork would ask a ton of questions. Ready to answer any you might have too, but be prepared for a lengthy rant every time you ask. Though to be fair, if he’s your significant other, then you might not find that too dreadful. He’s more of a theory guy though, so half the time when you all go on your adventures, you’re not much more prepared than when you first joined the group. Still, he truly does find your world interesting and will listen, no matter what you choose to tell him

And for the bonus character that nobody asked for - Stinky! To be fair, I think it would be funny for a normal human girl to appear in that magical world and just go like, yeah, I like this mean creature the best. I don't think he would be nice about you being a human, but that's kind of on brand. He would be interested in your human possessions and stories. Even if it's hard to tell that he’s genuinely interested. Later he would add to the stories you told him and scare other creatures with them. You’re free to join at any time if you wish to contribute to the chaos

[aew-kun-age-regression]

The most amount of Headcannons I've ever wrote for a single character!!! Guess my favourite Ghostbuster lol, I love Egon 😂😅

Caregiver!Egon Spengler Headcannons

He's a very neutral individual overall, he can easily be misunderstood and seen as rude or uninterested but he does care a lot.

I feel like the most likely situation for him finding out about your regression is if you didn't tell him yourself is that he found out during a particularly long night in the lab. You being tired had regressed and he had his suspicions from there.

Him becoming your Caregiver was never something actually verbalised, more just a responsibility he was happy to take on and the two of you went from there.

Egon is big on praise, he knows he's not always the most affectionate (although that's not to say never) however he doesn't want you to believe he doesn't care, he makes sure you know how proud of you he is and how amazing you are doing!!!

I think he'd have a tangle toy in his desk (if you guys are at the fire station) or in his pocket if elsewhere for you (and himself)

Watching TV (movies or shows) are a fun activity for the two of you as it doesn't require talking but you guys can if you want to. - he also enjoys reading be that him reading to you, you reading to him or the two of you individually reading in the same area <333

Egon really enjoys being your Caregiver. It allows for him to de-stress from his very chaotic job/life.

As I previously said he really enjoys reading, his voice is very calming and it isn't out of the ordinary for you to fall asleep listening to him read or just talk about something he's currently analysing.

He got the two of you small matching rabbit plushies. You absolutely love yours, keeping it with you always. (Egon also always has his own on him, it's in his pocket. It got slimed once whilst he was on the job.. he was not happy in the process of it being cleaned, no one knew why you were the only one he wasn't being subtly (not subtle at all) grumpy towards)

He often lets you sit with him whilst he works on experiments, he has a box of crayons for you to use - or you can watch him work on his experiments.

No touching anything to do with an experiment. A joke that Peter came up with was "if you can't pronounce it, don't touch it" ..that motto ended up sticking around for everyone in the end. It became a rule for all of them, it not surprisingly stopped quite a few accidents.

He has let you use his jacket as a blanket.

He really likes doing little things for you such as tying your shoe laces or brushing your hair.

With how popular the Ghostbusters became lots of merchandise was made by different people. Egon ends up surprising you with a little Ghostbusters badge.

You gained the nickname of "Mini Ghostbuster"

He is terrible at going to sleep, he is normally quite good at making sure you're okay and getting the stuff you need to thrive (an actual healthy amount of hours of sleep.)

Speaking of making sure you're safe he is very protective over you, even if people don't realise. He's extremely aware of how dangerous his job is and is not willing to let anything happen to you.

He would have a reward chart for you!!!

He does have a habit of sometimes over complicating things. If he ends up confusing you he will try to explain in a better way for you to understand.

He likes telling jokes but he has quite a dry sense of humour. He tries- He's not at all offended though if you don't understand or find those jokes funny. He ends up making it into a sort of game to see who has the best jokes. You win. Everytime.

His go to for a babysitter is Janine. He trusts the others but Janine is typically away from well, most of the ghost danger and so when Egon is out busting ghosts you get to stay with her which is always fun. She would so spoil you!!!

^ She would make a sensory bin that's under her desk, it has a bunch of fidget toys, and other little toys to keep you entertained. It also has a sensory cube that she made you.

I think that he'd actually be pretty bad with keeping you from eating too many sweets. He has a sweet tooth- 😂 marshmallows though.. they are funnily enough off the table.. along with jelly/jello...😬

He would enjoy doing those kids science kits with you!!!

^ Enjoys learning related games for you. Think like numbered or lettered wooden blocks.

He doesn't share food with anyone that isn't you by the way- :D

I think he'd be really good at getting you to settle down for bed.

He got you some chewalry. He makes sure you have it on you always. (If you end up forgetting it's okay because he didn't and he's got it in his pocket for you!!!)

I cannot see him being able to cook - at least not well 💀

When he does act affectionately it's normally away from anyone else. He gives amazing hugs 🫂 — His cuddles are so comforting!!! <333

^ In public/around others he doesn't show as much physical affection, although he isn't against it if you'd like it. He typically sticks to linking pinky fingers!!!

^ He likes ruffling your hair, if you end up huffing at him because he "ruined your hair" he will find it even more amusing.

Forehead kisses <333

He's good at comforting you when it comes to nightmares.

Documentaries are often left playing in the background.

You could so convince him to have a tea party with you!!!

He'd be so patient with you!!!

I don't think he'd be overly strict. He'd be strict enough to keep you safe but other than that- pretty sure Peter and Ray get told off by him (a lot) more than you would- 😂

[bellestarot]

Monica Barbaro & Andrew Garfield's Friendship Reading

April 06, 2025

Right Now

They are definitely in love with each other. There's a lot of chemistry between them, and they gradually fell for one another. I can see that she has had a mindset—either from the beginning or for a while now—where she doesn’t want to have children. She’s very firm in that belief. It might be due to her career, which makes the idea of having kids and starting a family seem boring or unappealing to her. And she has been open about that with her partner.

I sense that he, on the other hand, really wants to get married. It seems like something he thinks about a lot—getting married, living together, having kids. But she’s very expressive and not someone who wants to stay at home raising children. She wants to move, to chase her dreams. She still has many goals in mind. So, the idea of marriage and starting a family has been on hold.

They enjoy traveling together and maybe they’re even on a trip right now. They’re very much in love and have strong chemistry. I also think they’ve found a friendship in this relationship, which is important since being an actor requires showing sides of yourself you don’t usually reveal off-camera—like loneliness or introversion. They’ve found support in each other, especially when they have to appear happy and presentable while feeling differently inside.

He’s deeply in love. He likes to win her over, to express how much he loves her, and he really thinks about building a solid future together. But at the same time, he worries it might not work out. He’s afraid of getting hurt, so he’s cautious.

How Monica feels towards Andrew

For her, marriage is strongly tied to financial stability—being able to actually afford to build a life and family together. And she’s noticed that he doesn’t seem very responsible with money. That has stood out to her. Even though she feels they’re a perfect match, she sees that he’s a bit lost when it comes to managing his own finances.

From the start, she saw they could be perfect together. They likely met through mutual friends, and since then, they’ve been inseparable. She feels more mature than he is, even though he may seem mature because of his age. He still has a playful, youthful personality. She finds some of his jokes and comments immature. She also sees his job as an obstacle to the relationship because he's always busy and sometimes unavailable, which she finds frustrating.

I also see that she’s still emotionally tied to her past—possibly a previous relationship that she hasn’t fully moved on from. This causes her to isolate herself and feel lonely, making it hard for her to move forward. She sometimes finds herself stuck, thinking about the past for too long.

How Andrew feels towards Monica

He loves giving her gifts and sees their relationship as fun from the very beginning. Being with her makes him feel young, and there’s a strong magnetic pull between them. She came into his life unexpectedly, and he didn’t expect to be attracted to her or for her to be his type. But early on, he felt something different for her—his intuition told him so. He was very patient in making the relationship work.

He hid for a long time how attracted he was to her, especially physically, but he also genuinely likes her personality. He, too, was holding onto past relationships—things he hasn’t told her yet. He’s been thinking about opening up to her more honestly about it. He sees her as a creative and talented woman, full of ideas and very hardworking. He really admires her professionalism.

Near future to them

Honestly, I don’t think they’re going to last. I see that things might fall apart—hopefully not, but the cards suggest he might mess up the relationship himself. He may end up getting involved with other people or showing interest in others, which could lead to betrayal or cheating.

That might be what causes the breakup. She’s the type of person who, once she learns about betrayal, doesn’t hesitate to make a decision. She might feel unsure at first, but once she decides, she doesn’t go back.

Before all that, I see her being torn between marriage and her career—wondering if it’s really the right path for her. She doesn’t seem to truly want children, and that might become a pressure on her. He may want to build a family, but she won’t be very excited about it. Her mindset is much more open-minded than traditional in many ways.

Unfortunately, I don’t see them lasting.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍒ɞ˚‧｡⋆

[juanabaloo]

predictions HOPES AND DREAMS for the new BTVS Hulu sequel:

(i have no sources just my brain for this, this is all speculation. i have zero connection to the show and don't do any professional writing for TV or movies.)

the new show will largely ignore ATS, vampire soul lore (which was already a mess of inconsistencies), and details of BTVS plots.

======

SMG enters in the second half of ep 1 to explain some lore / hand off the baton metaphorically

SMG also has some good screen time in ep 2, but after that is just in brief scenes. think Do Revenge, or slightly more than Do Revenge.

SMG is not in every ep, but is definitely in the last one.

S1 is only 8 eps and besides a very brief cameo the show is very focused on the new cast (as it should be IMO)

more including my Fuffy incredible hail-mary longshot under the cut

the brief cameo is by Amber (as Tara or someone else) or Michelle (as Dawn). less likely are Emma (as Anya or someone else) or Charisma (as Cordelia or someone else). if people return as their original character (that canonically already died) there is ZERO explanation for it. they are not zombies or vampires or ghosts. it's as if they never died in canon. something something Buffyverse multiverse (which i hear is a thing in the comics)

neither James (Spike) nor David (Angel) make a cameo. [i actually wrote this before David's tweet which seems to imply he is not involved with the show at this time.]

Buffy's personal life (and dating life / relationship status) is not mentioned on the show. think Giles in S1 pre Jenny.

there's a few easter eggs / jokes thrown in for fans of the original cast. the show steers clear of original shipping wars (namely Bangel vs Spuffy).

i'm rooting for a joke about Buffy and cookie dough.

======

the show is well received. there are rumbles of a better HD remaster for the original BTVS. ratings are good. S2 is announced partway through S1, with 10 eps.

======

partway through S2 we get a little more about Buffy's personal life. maybe one of the younger Slayers needs some guidance that requires Buffy to share.

there are 2-3 more cameos by original cast.

IF James or David make a cameo they are not de-aged and they are not their original characters. one of those "perhaps in another life" type of appearances. attraction, maybe some lingering looks, but no kissing or anything.

======

S3 is similar to S2. a few cameos but nothing wild.

Buffy reveals that she is bi sometime in S3. we get a few more glimpses of her personal life.

(if you haven't read this prediction for Buffy in the new show, you really must)

behind the scenes during S2-S3 there's a push by the showrunners for Eliza to come back as Faith, just for a cameo. she is focused on her new career (PAT therapy work) but very very (VERY) graciously agrees to be a voice on the phone. she could talk just to Buffy or to the younger Slayer(s).

BONUS POINTS if Faith and Buffy have their trademark snarky flirty banter. think S7 vibes. [i will lose my mind for 40s Fuffy]

[as an Eliza superfan i must explain that Eliza looks incredible so the voice thing is not bc she looks bad. she looks her age and also gorgeous.]

the voice appearance by Faith is warmly received.

[i don't think Faith would ever become a real therapist, but i can see her being a helpful older mentor type to younger Slayers. there are some fics that do this really well.]

around the same time as the ep with the voice appearance airs, Eliza does a little bit of press. she is promoting PAT (psychedelic assisted therapy) and/or a book and/or her autobiography and/or something else amazing.

a new decent HD remaster for original BTVS is officially planned.

======

S4 with 10 eps is announced as the last season partway through S3. a spin-off might happen, focused on the new cast. there is a LOT of talk about a movie post S4.

ratings are good, so S4 being the last one is more about studios renegotiating contracts than the show doing poorly.

the show realizes that none of Buffy's canon romantic guys (not gender neutral) from original BTVS make sense for new show Buffy.

(and again, Spike and Angel are not available, for some hand wavy reason in show. IRL it's bc they look too old and de-aging costs too much money for the show budget. and also the show doesn't want to re-ignite the Bangel vs Spuffy shipping wars)

as part of S4 (not the last ep) we get one brief Fuffy scene. [i promptly lose my mind]

brief Fuffy scene is not the last ep or the last scene of an ep

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off the top of my head here's the scene:

Buffy is chatting with younger Slayer(s) and realizes she needs to pick up important item X from her place

(is it a cottage? rustic cabin in the woods? sleek modern condo / apt in the city? a motel room? choose your own adventure!)

Buffy texts someone as they head to her place

younger Slayer waits in the car / limo / taxi for Buffy, who says she will just "run in and grab it"

Buffy gets to her front door and someone opens it

(possible cut to commercial for maximum buildup)

Faith in relaxed / loungewear opens it. maybe even full on pajamas? [i don't think Faith would ever wear sushi pajamas for the record] the way they smile and talk to each other you KNOW they are sleeping together. chemistry off the charts!

BONUS POINTS if Buffy's jacket opens a little and you see she is wearing a Red Sox shirt. or maybe after she gets back in the car she says it's hot and unzips her jacket and reveals the Red Sox shirt.

MORE BONUS POINTS if Faith seems to be wearing something of Buffy's. like a UC Sunnydale shirt or - if Buffy graduated from college, like University of Cleveland - have Faith wear that. or have it be on her coffee mug.

not sure if the item Faith gives to Buffy at the door is Faith's original knife or just some random thing but Buffy is in a hurry so she needs to leave immediately

i can 100% imagine that Buffy is very aware of the younger Slayer(s) watching and will NOT kiss Faith bc of this

[i mean, don't get me wrong, if they gave us kissing 40s Fuffy i'll probably have a heart attack, in a good way. i just don't see it happening, esp since the focus of the show is on the younger Slayer(s)]

Buffy gets back in the car / limo / taxi and looks back to Faith. Faith is in the doorway drinking a mug of coffee, smiling and waving at the younger Slayer(s). Buffy looks fully in love. Closeup on Faith's face, she's smiling. She raises the mug in like a toast motion, and does the 3x17 Enemies "Don't worry big guy" half wink thing.

or it that's too cutesy then just have her look lovingly back at Buffy

honestly they could be clearly in the middle of an ongoing argument and be all snarky with each other and i would still lovit

AND SCENE

Fuffy Nation collectively breaks into singing dancing applause!

if Eliza has any involvement in the new show that will be fantastic. but she doesn't owe us fans anything. she has every right to retire in peace. if she were to do anything i wrote above i would be ecstatic, but i have no expectations that she would do it. she has said she is retired from her acting career.

i would be forever grateful if she did return, but give her zero grief if she does not.