#this show gave us emotional whiplash
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dramalove247 · 6 days ago
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still haven't recovered
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🐈 Kat knows me so well! Episode 9 healed so many wounds!!! It took everything in my power not to watch the teaser for next week, but I barely survived last week and I want to enjoy the warm fuzzies for a while.
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tender-rosiey · 2 years ago
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pretty babies – gojo satoru x f!reader
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a/n: idk about yall but I love me some drunk gojo
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satoru never drinks, but when he does, ohoho, you’re in for quite the ride.
today was one of the days when he was less of a chaotic handful but more of an emotional mess who apparently can’t even remember his own wife. you sip on your drink, ignoring the drunk satoru leaning on the bar.
he slurs his words as he tries to flirt, “you’re sooo pretty, y’know that?”
you nod with a hum and give him no further reaction. in situations like these, you figured out that letting him go all out until he is tired and sleepy is the best solution. it really is like treating a baby.
thankfully, after many years of being in the presence of one gojo satoru, you’ve built up some patience.
he rests his head on the counter and he looks up at you, eyes wide and in awe, “I bet,” he hiccups and it is followed by a silly little giggle, “we’d make superrrr cute babies! like all round and chubby and we’d much on their cheeks like…mochi! yes! mochi…now I am hungry.”
a smirk makes an appearance on your face as you glance at satoru who is blabbering about building a family with you and spoiling you rotten.
a little teasing won’t harm anyone. so you quip, “you know,” and his attention is already on you, “you already gave me three super cute babies.”
his mouth is wide open in disbelief as he sits up, “no way!”
“yup! and they’re waiting at home for us.”
his eyes crinkle because of his wide grin, “really?!” he pulls you into a bone-crushing hug, “you got photos?! please tell me that you do!” and he switches to a pout so quickly, it gives you whiplash.
however, you gladly pull out your phone and show him the multitude of photos you have.
ones ranging from him being in a crib to help the youngest one sleep to ones with two of the three kids ganging up on him and him desperately calling for your help. satoru goes through every single photo, head on your shoulder and cheek squished.
he is silent throughout it all and when he is done, he looks up at you, “so that means that you’re my wife?”
you nod and your fingers, naturally, find their place on his head. he feels a little shiver of satisfaction before he smiles, one lovesick and silly smile, “I really hit the jackpot.”
you laugh, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, “I guess you did.”
so you take him back home where the kids are already asleep. satoru crashes on the bed right away, steady breaths filling the room. slowly, you take your place beside him and you feel his arms wrap around you.
he pulls you closer and buries his face in your hair. and you close your eyes, letting yourself be lulled to the land of dreams.
when you do wake up, you’re greeted by satoru literally on top of you and deep in sleep. you would like to let him sleep more especially since he looks so comfortable, but you’re going to suffocate at this rate. so you pat his back lightly, “satoru, honey, wake up.”
he groans and buries his face in the crook of your neck, grumbling something along the lines of ‘five more minutes’.
not budging? then fine, you decide. you take as deep of a breath as you can then call for your kids, “who will help mama?!”
it’s quiet and you can feel satoru smirking against your skin. it looks like he won, but then a bunch of footsteps are heard and it’s your turn to smirk.
your husband lifts his head to glare at you—of course, not without sporting one of his famous pouts.
the door is then slammed open and your eldest son is there, “WHO DARES HURT OUR MAMA?!”
he gasps, very dramatically like a certain someone, and points at his dad, “PAPA?! you’re suffocating mama!”
“again?!” your daughter pops up from behind her brother, staring at her dad in disbelief.
they both stand beside your bed glaring at him and he glares back, the three of them forgetting why you called for your kids in the first place. so you do them a favor and remind them, “satoru…I AM GOING TO DIE LIKE THIS!”
satoru is pulled  back by his shirt and your kids take turns in—trying—to beat him up. you get up, greedily breathing air till you’re satisfied. you ignore the screams of your husband until you’re done with your morning routine.
luckily enough, when you got out of the bathroom, you found no one except your husband.
laying on the ground.
presumably dead.
with a bunch of drawings on his face and his hair contained with multiple hair bands.
you snap a picture of him very quickly then you sit on the ground next to his corpse. you poke his butt and he groans, making you giggle, “what happened to the strongest sorcerer?”
he turns towards you with a small frown, “his pretty wife didn’t kiss him good morning so he had no energy to fight,” his head snaps towards the two tiny figures giggling behind the door, “these monsters.”
they squeal and run away once again before he catches them.
you gently take the hair bands off, “you’re lucky that our youngest devil is still asleep,” you then smooth down his hair and pat his head, “I love the smiley faces on your cheeks.”
he whines and rests his head on your shoulder, “stop bullying me!”
you hum and stroke his hair, “you know, you did something pretty cute yesterday.”
“I am always cute; what’re you talking about?”
“you flirted with me, your wife, and said we would make ‘super cute!’ babies,” you reveal and satoru seems unbothered. in fact, he seems proud and very happy with himself so you continue, “so I had to remind you of our three little devils and then I showed you pictures.”
he stands up, posing all confidently, “what can I say? I excel at everything even being cute—“
“then you cried like a little baby when I showed you my picture post labor and kept apologizing.”
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copyright © tender-rosiey
do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported
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creganslover · 6 months ago
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Sneak Away
Pairing: Aegon II Targaryen x Fem! Sister-wife! Reader
Requested?: No
Summary: There's perks in knowing Maegor's tunnels, and Aegon makes the most of it, by going to you every time the world seemed to turn against him, and tonight, you remind him how good he can be.
Word count: 3.2k
Warning/s: 18+ MINORS DNI!! canon-typical incest and language, smut! piv, unprotected sex, virginity loss, porn w little plot?? help- sub! aegon, dom but virgin! reader (is that a thing or did i make that up), slight angst? hurt/comfort, aegon having a praise kink, possesive aegon, breast play, riding/cowgirl, mutual orgasm, slight breeding kink from aegon, lmk if i missed anything!
Note: mind empty- need aegon- first time writing for him i hope i did okay- i don’t think i was thinking when i was writing this <3 likes, reblogs, and feedbacks are always appreciated!
GIF is not mine, credits to the owner!
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Only few knew the hidden pathways hidden within the Red Keep, Maegor’s tunnels, they call it, some say the secret passages were haunted by every stonemason, woodworker, and laborers who participated in building such intricate pathways- only to be ordered to be slain by Maegor, promising that only those of the blood of the dragon would know where every path led, whether it leads out into the streets, or rather a different room in the Red Keep.
For Aegon, he had grown to use these secret pathways for his own escape and enjoyment possibly out in the streets… or mostly to visit his sister-wife at night in her own chambers when she does not sleep in his chambers, using the tunnels to effortlessly keep away from prying eyes and ears. 
You. You were the twin-sister of Helaena, the princesses ever so adored by the realm and yet barely seen out the Red Keep. You and Helaena, much as twins you were, you two had contrasting personalities.
As Helaena liked to keep to herself with her fascination with critters and such, you were more into the knowledge of the realm, nose always buried within a book or always eagerly attending your lessons with the Septa. 
Until you had come of age along with Helaena, wherein your mother, Alicent Hightower had initially proposed Helaena to be wedded to Aegon, in which you did not agree with, having witnessed Aegon’s recklessness and his debauchery, you cared for your twin too much to imagine her with someone like Aegon. 
And therefore you were the one wedded to your older brother, Aegon. Aegon, however, wasn’t also somehow pleased with the notion, he found you utterly annoying, ‘too smart for your own good’ as he could recall your countless banters with one another. 
However, as your marriage came to be, it almost gave you whiplash on how different Aegon had acted before to now. Yes, he despised your marriage, but soon he also found himself stuck with your company whether you both liked it or not.
One night you had found Aegon stumbling into your chambers drunk, of course, you had braced yourself for what was he about to do to you since he was quite unpredictable, but what he did was far more than what you expected.
Instead, he drunkenly blabbered away at his insecurities, of not being enough, of always doing what was expected of him yet your mother had always found ways to call him all sorts of names to his face, and your father the King never even once tried to make a bond with him, when all he ever wanted was to hear just once that he had done well from your mother and father, now all that seems too far within reach as the King’s health was declining. 
That night, you had suddenly understood why Aegon was the way he was. Since then, Aegon has found no judgment with you. Sometimes it was a surprise to find him sober, at your chambers, seeking comfort in your arms. You, his sweet sister, was like a salve, a remedy for it all. 
Aegon still had trouble showing his true emotions verbally, but he always wanted to show you how much he appreciated you, it was even surprising that he had yet to fill your womb with a child, but he often had bought you gifts and little trinkets that reminded him of you, thinking it would be enough to somehow show that he was trying, for you. 
And in turn, you understood, you always knew what to say that had Aegon melting into your arms. 
And that’s when he finally pressed at the stone wall disguised as any other wall within your chambers, the stone gliding easily behind a tapestry on the wall as he stepped in, candles lighting the way as he huffed a breath, finally able to catch some fresh air after being in the narrow passages. Flicking the tapestry back into place, his feet immediately take him to the foot of your bed where your figure lay underneath the blankets.
Aegon felt something stir within him at the sight of you, locks of platinum hair splayed upon your pillows, eyes closed, chest breathing rhythmically as you lay on your side, a strap of your loose nightdress down on one shoulder, your exposed skin seeming to tease him as he stood there dumbfounded for a few moments. 
However, the remnants of the infuriating day he had ground him back to reality as to why he was here, sneaking into your chambers. Aegon found himself sliding underneath the covers behind you, the warmth of you immediately making him sigh, a comfort he had longed for throughout the day, contrast to the chill that had seeped in his bones. 
Slowly, his arm found its way around the curve of your waist, leaning in as he desperately wanted to just nuzzle against you, hot breath fanning on the back of your neck. “Wife…” He breathed softly, not wanting to startle you. He waited for a response, thumb absentmindedly running circles on your abdomen, he should’ve probably let you sleep- he was content with only laying beside you, but a selfish part deep within him wanted you to wake. 
In your sleep, you had already felt the bed dip from behind, stirring as you felt an arm drape around you, the hot whisper on your skin making you finally rouse, shifting as you felt the hold on you tighten as you turned your head, coming to your senses as you blinked traces of sleep from your eyes. 
Registering the presence, your brows knit. “Aegon?”
It wasn’t uncommon for you that he would often find his way into your chambers when he had his days. “Mhm, it’s me.” He replied, now noticing you were awake, he brought his hand back to rest on your waist from behind. 
“What happened?” You ask, as you always did. “I… couldn’t sleep. Mother was being… difficult again.” He responded hesitantly. “Did I wake you? Would you like me to go?” Typical of Aegon to dismiss himself easily when his mind would berate him for seeking comfort.
Aegon was already making the move to sit up and get off your bed when you sleepily turned and tried to grab at his hand or wrist, only to fall short and manage to grab at his tunics, tugging on it. “Hush, stay.” You mumbled and Aegon swallowed.
“Do not think this foolish.”
Slowly then Aegon allowed himself to fall back onto your bed, creaking in response.
Shifting, you layered a pillow behind your back leaning against the headrest, before grabbing Aegon’s arm and tugging him to lay atop you, something Aegon never did before but you tugging took him by surprise, laying on top of you as you looked down at him, his head moving to lay on your chest.
He was about to whine at the feeling of being coddled when his ear picked up on the sound of your steady heartbeat and it was enough to close his mouth shut, seeming to zone out as you slowly raked your fingers through his scalp, adding to the sensation in which Aegon sighed and screwed his eyes shut. 
“I am not good enough.” He murmured. “Never will be.”
“You are, Aegon.” You counter. Aegon huffed onto your chest, the action sending you flushed as his face was directly on your breasts. “You always have the chance to be good, mother does not see it yet but I know you are doing your best.” You continued, ignoring the way your heart began to pick up its pace as Aegon’s hot breath fanned through your nightdress. 
Oh you prayed to the gods he would not notice.
But Aegon clearly did, the thumping of your heart growing against his ear as he shifts his head, craning to look up at you. Your body felt suddenly hot. “You can be good, you are good… the crown is a heavy burden but it has placed itself upon your head, this is your chance to prove yourself.” 
Your words turn to a weak whisper as Aegon’s eyes trailed from your eyes to your parted lips, your chest starting to rise as he spoke whilst his eyes stayed glued to your lips. “You think so, sweet sister?” He asked, now his eyes flickered back to yours and there was a hint of vulnerability and… hunger to them. 
His body pressing against yours did not help as you could feel yourself start to throb, his gaze igniting something primitive within you. You tried to shift, needing friction between your legs- but it made Aegon groan, his gaze dropping momentarily.
Until you had felt something hard pressing against your leg. You swallowed thickly, the need starting to boil within you. You needed him. 
“Aegon…” You broke the silence and he let out a weak hum in response, he doesn’t seem to be doing anything as you felt like you were being consumed from the inside. 
He was holding back, you could feel it. 
Moving your hand, you tilted his face to meet yours, before you had given and leaned in, kissing him sloppily and inexperienced, it made Aegon’s brain shut as his brows knit, eyes closing as he let out a low groan, hand immediately moving to grasp the back of your head. 
Your hands began to roam around him, wanting to feel all of him but he pulled back for air, which you realized you were also out of breath, mind in a daze. 
Aegon’s gaze raked over you, he had held back for so long and this is the first night he was about to have you. Yet he doesn’t want it to be rushed or perhaps take advantage of you in the heat of the moment, his thoughts running as he stared at you.
“Aegon, please.” You said, your sweet tone sounding like the Seven heavens in his ears. 
You were getting increasingly frustrated, making the bold move to pull and push him down onto the bed, Aegon momentarily blinking in surprise, not expecting such an action to come from his sister-wife, taking the control away from him.
And oddly enough, it sent a thrill running down his veins and straight to his cock. 
He liked it. 
You swung your leg over him, straddling him as you could feel his throbbing cock directly against your damp underclothes, rolling your hips which had sent you both moaning at the feeling, Aegon’s hands landing on your hips to keep you still. 
“You don’t- we don’t..” Aegon tried to talk but the view and feel of you on top of him was making that very difficult as of now. 
“I want to.” The firmness in your tone was a contrast to his, Aegon was near to turning putty in your hands and you haven’t even near touched him yet. 
His nod made you move your hands to slowly lift off your nightdress, the moment it hit the floor, revealing your shape to him, no longer hidden by layers of fabrics, it was enough to make Aegon stare in awe. 
You felt hot under Aegon’s gaze as you moved to shield yourself but his hands caught your wrists, stopping as he sat up, making you shift yet still straddle him, his hardness still apparent and warm against your thigh under his tunics. 
“Fuck you’re..heavenly.” Aegon murmured, his hands still holding your wrists loosely but his eyes now drifted down your face to your tits, nipples perked. 
You took the initiative once more, your turn in grabbing his wrists before guiding them to your breasts, his rough palms slowly cupping them making you whimper, jolting and needing more friction as your body moved without you thinking, guiding his hands to cup and squeeze your breasts.
Aegon’s brain finally caught up with him as his hands moved to his own accord, oh you looked and felt heavenly he felt like he was already about to spill himself just by seeing you like this, taking control of him. 
Your hands then moved to his head, grasping and tugging at his hair, making him moan low as you then pulled him to you, wasting no time as Aegon lathered hot open mouthed kisses against your skin, leaving flames in their wake as you sung sweetly on top of him.
His mouth trailed down your neck to finally your breasts as he suckled and licked at your mounds, taking one in his mouth, sucking lewdly as you looked down at him, eyes meeting yours and you felt yourself overcome by the sight, nodding to urge him to keep going.
With a final suck, he pulled back, mouth letting out a pop sound as you shivered as the night breeze cooled his saliva on your breast. 
Moving to help him shrug him out of his tunics, you traced your hands down his torso, Aegon shuddering. “You’re so good.” Your praise was but a thought voiced, yet to Aegon, it had him melting. You can almost see the gears in his brain stop working as you realized this. 
Of course, as your mother had often degraded him most of his life, your father is present but nearly absent in caring for your siblings.
Just an ounce of praise had Aegon craving it like a man parched in the desert, willing to do anything to quench that thirst- to be able to hear you praise him again. Only you. Fuck anyone else. 
It was only you, his sweet sister-wife who mattered, who had always seen him, who always understood him, nobody would come close to you. He damn well would behead a man if one ever had thought of taking you away from him. 
Thank the Gods you married him. 
Leaning in, you peppered kisses onto his face, murmuring phrases all the way that had him grabbing your hips, feeling your soaked cunt rubbing against his stiff cock, sweet maiden juices leaking onto him but he doesn’t enter you. 
His neck craned to give you more access as you kissed him all over, his hands running up and down your sides, wanting to feel and take his time with you even if every fiber of his being cried to fuck you senselessly. 
No, you were in control of him tonight, or for any night that you wished, rather. 
“See how good you are..?” Your voice whispered into his ear, breath fanning stray locks of his platinum hair. Aegon whimpered. Even though you were a virgin and inexperienced, you were coming to learn the gist of it as you had went on… but there were more chances to explore further in the future.
“P-please.” Aegon whined, never in his life he had seen himself begging, yet you had changed all of that. Pulling back, you raked your fingers through his hair again, his head craning back.
“Look at me, Aegon.” Your tone wasn’t even commanding, it was gentle- however his eyes were quick to find yours again. 
You relished the control you had over him- but this was also him being vulnerable. You gave him a small smile as you spoke. “What do you want?” You asked. Aegon breathed and his mouth parts open, a squeak leaving as you also felt the need burning now deep in your stomach, your cunt throbbing. 
“Speak.” You followed, dragging your folds along his length, making you both shudder and for Aegon to grunt, squeezing your hips to halt you in order to clear his mind. 
“You- please- please let me fuck you, let me be inside you.” Aegon rephrased but it made you burn hotter nonetheless. 
If you were right, your hand reached down between your bodies, your soft hands wrapping around his shaft, your soft hands heavenly compared to the times he had touched himself to the thought of fucking you before, which he would not admit even if dared. 
Pre-cum was already leaking from him as he helped you, his own hand coming to guide himself against your folds, his reddened tip rubbing against your clit momentarily that had you clenching from the sensation. 
As he slowly positioned himself to breach you, his eyes found yours, your hands resting on his shoulders as you took a deep breath as his hands rested back onto your sides, rubbing as you slowly sunk down upon him, his cock sliding within you inch by inch, making you cry out as he bottomed fully. 
Aegon never thought he’d had your cunt clenching around him, sucking him in further making him shudder as he whimpered, nearing to burst if he moved further. 
Moving your hips, you slowly started up a rhythm, Aegon’s eyes screwing shut as you began to ride him, hands guiding you but mostly it was you who moved, his grip on your waist was but a grounding sensation for him. It truly felt like he was about to ascend from how good you felt, and you were all his. 
You felt yourself letting out noises you had not imagined before, the sensations of having Aegon sheathed within you was intoxicating, nails digging against his shoulders as Aegon returned his attention to your breasts once more, heightening your pleasure as you arched your back. 
A knot was forming itself in your belly, your muscles beginning to contract as you chanted Aegon’s name like a prayer. “You feel so good, Aegon!” You cry, whining as your hips seem to chase an edge fast approaching. 
“I’m- fuck– not gonna last long-” Aegon murmured now hotly against your neck, guiding you bouncing up and down his cock. “Please, please…” Aegon begged for your orgasm to hit so he could spill within you. 
And it did, making you gasp as euphoria filled your body, sending you shaking as bouts and waves of pleasure overtook you, clenching around Aegon’s cock as your body continued to tremble atop him.
Aegon soon followed as your peak triggered his own, pulsing within you and releasing his seed within you, having him whimpering and panting. You could feel yourself overcome with warmth as you both had come down from your peaks, bodies covered with light sheen of sweat.
You both had stayed there for a while, Aegon still sheathed within you as you both regained your breathing. Looking down at him, you brushed stray platinum locks that matted to his forehead, moving to peck his forehead and his cheeks, Aegon murmuring in turn as he gazed up at your beauty illuminated by stray candles and the moonlight. 
“Thank you.” Aegon rasped, making you smile down at him as you cupped his face, placing a tender kiss to his lips. 
After fixing and rearranging yourselves, not bothering to throw your clothing back on, only the blankets laid over you both as you laid face to face, your head against his chest, curled against him so peacefully. 
You had soon fallen asleep from exhaustion whilst Aegon had lied awake, thumb running over your side before it moved over to your stomach, no doubt both your labor would bear fruit. 
And when it did, Aegon had sworn it upon himself to be the good loving father he never had upon your child, and to be the good king the realm did not think he would be. All because of you.
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danyyytarggg · 6 months ago
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HOTD is just a complete mess of a story with such abysmal writing that it’s actually mind-boggling to me that the writers really saw no issue with it.
there is no consistency or continuity to the show, and events seem to happen just to happen with no real impact on the story. examples: why did team green exist before viserys’ death if their motivation was going to be watered down to “viserys named aegon heir”? the show tried to beat in that alicent’s children were not safe under rhaenyra’s rule, further emphasized and solidified by aemond losing his eye; this was supposed to be the main motivation for putting aegon on the throne and the scenes on driftmark were perfect in showcasing the validity in alicent’s fears as well as solidifying alicent’s motivations for aegon. then, it’s all PROMPTLY forgotten in favor of a lame misunderstanding being the reason for aegon taking the throne. so really, what was the point in all that? another example, making aegon such a despicable person in season 1. really, what was the point in that if there was to be no continuity or impact or rhyme or reason for making aegon that way? none of it is ever mentioned again, none of his actions had any sort of impact, etc. no continuity or impact whatsoever, so what was the reason for having such triggering content in season 1? tasteless and disgusting. also, the deaths in this show serve NO impact and are forgotten from the minds of the characters so quickly: visenya, lucerys, jaehaerys, rhaenys, sunfyre (maybe?), the almost-death of aegon - there’s a lack of continuity in emotion and impact. the deaths happen, the characters react somewhat appropriately or not at all, and then they move on to the next episode and everything before is forgotten. ESPECIALLY emphasized by the fact that rhaenyra demanded a son for a son as if jaehaerys wasn’t dead for that exact reason. or helaena urging daemon on in his vision as if he’s NOT the man responsible? aemond caring for, at the very least, his mother and sister? gone. alicent caring for her children so much so that she tried to attack lucerys for aemond and stepped in front of a dragon for aegon? gone. aegon being forced on the throne when he never wanted it? gone and now is being given up by the woman who put him there. daemon being supportive of rhaenyra’s rule by the end of season 1? gone. there also seems to be no impact from the larys x alicent scene from season 1, so WHAT was the point of that?
the characters make absolutely no sense to me at this point. aemond, who cared for alicent and helaena, now cold, callous, power hungry, does not care for family. aemond cares more about his actions against lucerys than his actions against anyone in team green. alicent, who is driven by duty, honor, responsibility, religion and cares for her family, though has trouble showing it due to her trauma - sells out all her family members with the exception of helaena to rhaenyra? then asks rhaenyra to run away with her? huh? also, for the same reasons above, having alicent x criston cole makes no sense without showing us their progression. it just doesn’t make sense for alicent’s character to have a lover without showing us exactly how it all came to be instead of just showing us that it happened. and then for her to casually just bring it up to rhaenyra? alicent would NEVER. helaena attempting to help daemon despite the fact that he’s responsible for the murder of her son. even the sudden shift in helaena’s personality/character in the very last episode gave me whiplash and i’ve been wanting her to have a more substantial role in the plot. baela is continuously used as female reinforcement for everything rhaenyra says or does and as jace’s emotional support (that being said, i LOVE jacela, but baela’s character deserves more than just these two roles). rhaena is given like two or three talking scenes and then the rest is her just chasing after a dragon, leaving behind her younger siblings btw. which, i think having her character find strength and power without having a dragon would have done wonders but okay. aegon, i can’t even take seriously bc of his season 1 actions. same goes for larys. corlys forgetting that rhaena exists as an option for heir of driftmark, as if she isn’t the most deserving of that title.
EVERYTHING being boiled down to pro-rhaenyra. rhaenyra can never be in the wrong about anything. even jace’s very legitimate concerns, baela swooped in to convince him why he’s wrong in feeling the way that he does. rhaenyra imposes a blockade on king’s landing, a known fact, the people starve, she sends food - “rhaenyra remembers us even now!” daemon seeing a vision of rhaenyra on the throne, helaena urging daemon to do what’s right, alicent turning herself in to rhaenyra then asking rhaenyra to run away w her. one of her councilman voicing his concerns to daemon and whether rhaenyra is right for the throne because rhaenyra hasn’t done a single thing, does not attend council meetings, is not protecting her allies, refuses any sort of action at all - then demonizing said councilman even though his concerns are entirely founded. even making team green’s motivation for putting aegon on the throne being from a misunderstanding is inherently pro-rhaenyra. bc if their entire motivation is based on “viserys named aegon heir,” which we know is a misunderstanding, then OBJECTIVELY, team green is in the wrong. rather than going with the safety/protection motivation for team green, which wouldn’t have left them being so objectively in the wrong. and for all the love the show writers give to being pro-rhaenyra, they can’t even write rhaenyra well. she’s indecisive, takes no actions, just continuously begs off to go fight, doesn’t attend council meetings, cannot make a single plan on her own (all of her plans and wins have come from either mysaria or jace), is overall, not a strong or competent leader. after all this, they girlbossify her at the end when, after a whole season of doing basically nothing, she acquires three more dragons (which ALSO wasn’t an entirely smart move).
which can i also complain about the lack of strategy, diplomacy, and wits in the show? everything gets watered down to DRAGONS, which is also why rhaena’s arc is so disappointing imo.
additionally hate the lack of development and depth team black members get. it just all goes to rhaenyra and daemon (and SOMEWHAT jace), and that isn’t even done right. then you have team green who the writers TRY to give depth and development to but completely and utterly fail at creating anything truly meaningful.
lastly, i truly believe rhaenyra x alicent was a mistake, ONLY because the writers don’t know how to write it correctly. i really did enjoy the concept in season 1 until they made their relationship hijack the entire show. because of this, we didn’t get to see rhaenyra vs aegon at their full potential at ALL. it was replaced in favor for rhaenyra x alicent. i also believe this relationship is what screwed over the motivation of team green in the show because alicent needed a “just” reason to betray rhaenyra, therefore giving us the dumb misunderstanding trope. it also keeps either of the characters from diving into the potential their characters both have! it keeps them from engaging in war to its fullest extent! not to mention, having alicent throw away her entire family for rhaenyra is CRAZY. then to have her ask rhaenyra to run away with her? after everything? please. if they didn’t know how to write it in a well-written way, they shouldn’t have done rhaenyra x alicent at all bc i fully believe that it is a large reason as to why the show got so epically ruined with bad writing.
oh also, helaena and alys just spoiling major dance of the dragons plot points? i’m really not a fan of that, personally. and i really don’t know how the show is going to build off of this. it also takes away the impact that these scenes would have left on viewers if never spoiled onscreen.
oh last points promise - jaehaerys and jaehaera continuously NOT being called by their names and instead being called “the boy,” “the girl,” “the child,” angers me so much and is crazy minimization of their characters - probably to lessen the blow and impact of blood and cheese? and gwayne confronting criston cole about him sleeping with his sister, the dowager queen, in public, in front of everyone, with everyone watching? so poorly written and read like a badly written fanfiction on wattpad. the show writers forgetting that alicent x criston cole is very much not allowed in westeros and could get both in such crazy trouble by having that gwayne scene and alicent casually admitting to having a lover to rhaenyra is just bonkers.
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captain-bubble-wrap · 12 days ago
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QUINN WORRIED ABOUT YOU AFTER AN ACCIDENT 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬
This one broke my heart to write. I'm sorry it took me longer than expected to finish.
CW | Car accident descriptions and injuries.
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It had all happened so quickly; the literal blink of an eye. 
You had the right of way but the driver in the other car never saw you. One minute you were excited for that evening's plans, and the next you were drifting between consciousness and not. The sounds of everything had been so loud that your ears were ringing to the point of near deafness. Both the driver's side and rear of the vehicle were crunched and crumpled inwards; all of the airbags had deployed throughout the interior. The whiplash from being hit had jerked your head so violently to the side there had been enough force to give you a concussion and the seatbelt would fracture your collarbone; your right foot and ankle were broken due to so much impact against the gas pedal they had snapped; your right knee would hit so violently against the center console it would tear your MCL. 
All in a matter of seconds. 
You were headed to the arena to watch the Canucks play at home. Now, you were headed to the hospital in an ambulance. Worst of it all, Quinn wouldn't know until the game was over that anything had happened to you. Once he got to the arena, he was off his phone until post-game and you, yourself, wouldn't want such news given to him mid-game anyway. However, right now, you weren't conscious enough to even have that worry. 
The game would result in a Canucks win over the Oilers but that high-note to the night would come to a devastating end when one of the team's athletic trainers would break the news to Quinn. Pulled into the hall, following his post-game media interviews, Quinn would find himself unsure of how to process what he had been told. The trainer monitored his star player, taking in every subtle emotional que he'd show, but it was mostly just blank stares and shaky hands. 
"Are you alright?" The trainer asked. "Can we do anything for you?"
"Uh...no-- no, I uh..." Quinn stuttered. He had processed what he had been told, but to make comment on it was proving impossible. "I've gotta...I need to--"
Noticing Quinn was trying to say he needed to go, the trainer filled in the blanks. "Let us know if there's anything you need, alright? Be safe getting there."
Quinn nodded before turning towards the dressing room. He'd nearly trip over his own feet in the process, catching himself on the wall behind him. Back inside the players room, Quinn said nothing to no one, kept his eyes down and tried to hurry yet everything he picked up he fumbled. 
A few of the guys would notice their captain's change in demeanor but just watched on, because no sooner was Quinn in the room, he was out, and running and wouldn't stop until he was in his car. 
He'd remain in a complete daze the whole drive to the hospital. Traffic was still congested around the arena and Quinn tapped nervously on the steering wheel, silently pleading for things to get moving. 
"Ah, come on, come on, come on!" He said exasperated, his palms sweaty with anxiety. 
Eventually, he'd fly into the parking lot, and make a break for the automatic doors of the hospital. 
"May I help you?" Asked the woman behind the desk. 
"My girlfriend was involved in a wreck this afternoon. I don't know her room number."
The woman eyed Quinn curiously. His hair was still wet with sweat, forehead still marked red from his helmet, and he was wearing the same clothes he wore beneath his gear. There simply hadn't been time to worry about changing. By now, the wreck had been near five hours ago, but he couldn't help when he had arrived or the state he was in. He gave your name and she scrolled through the directory to give him your room number.
"Second floor of the Pattinson building," she said, rattling off directions of how to get to the ICU building. Quinn retained some, but not all, of the twist and turns he needed to take and would have to get assistance in finally getting to you. Outside your recovery room, your mother sat talking to one of the nurses in charge. She'd nearly interrupt the nurse to get up and embrace Quinn without a second thought.
"Oh my god, Quinn! I'm so glad you made it!"
"How is she doing? What happened?" His voice cracked and was shaky.
"I don't know! She told me she was headed to the arena, then I got word that she had been in an accident. It's not good, Quinn. I mean, she's okay, but it was a really bad wreck. They had to cut the car apart to get her out!"
"I need to see her, may I?"
"She's awake now, yes." The nurse replied, Quinn having turned to her for the permission. 
"Do you mind?" He asked your mother, and she gave her well-wishes with tears in her eyes. He'd give her another hug before quietly entering your room following her blessing. 
"Quinn?" You said, your voice hoarse from the intubation tube and not above a whisper. 
"Oh...baby," he choked out, not getting far into the room before his feet stopped moving. You looked so broken, laying there connected to all manner of machine and he hadn't begun to prepare himself before walking through the door. 
Your vision was blurry from the concussion, but you knew his outline regardless of the double vision. Had you felt better, you would have lifted your arms to him, but every limb felt like it weighted one hundred pounds each. Instead, they'd remain by your side when he finally managed to approach you. 
"Sweetheart, I'm-- I'm so--," he couldn't speak through the tears. He put his head against yours on the pillow, nuzzling against your temple as gently as he could. His weeping completely took away his ability to speak an audible word. As best as you could, you'd turn your face toward his, although minimal due to the neck brace. 
You couldn't handle hearing him cry like that, in fact, you had never seen Quinn cry until now. His fingers didn't know where to go, not knowing if where he placed them to touch you would cause you pain so instead, they clawed into the mattress and sheets.
"Quinny?" You whimpered, struggling, being unable to reach out for him.
"I'm-- I'm here, I'm here," he managed, his lips grazing your cheekbone. Your skin was bruised and red from the airbags, and every time you took a breath it hurt. Your eyes finally locked on to one another's with Quinn finding it so hard to see you like this, and him being powerless to do anything for you. "I'm sorry I-- I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. Baby, I'm-- so sorry."
"It's not your fault. I'm just glad you're here now," you strained. Your throat felt like you hadn't had a drink in a week, but you had to talk to him. 
His cheeks were flushed red and streaked with tears that continued to fall without end. All you wanted to do was reach up and wipe them away but lifting your arm was slow and he would stop you halfway through. 
"No, no, baby, it's-- I'm okay," he shushed, gently coaxing you to return your arm back to where it had been. "Just-- just stay still, sweetheart."
Closing your eyes, you bit your bottom lip to try to keep from crying yourself. Your ribs hurt and crying would absolutely be too much to handle. 
"I love you so much-- so, so much," he confessed, brushing some hair from your forehead. "I'm so sorry this happened to you! I wish I-- I wish I could have been-- there for you." He struggled again to speak, a hand pressed to his mouth to somehow stifle the emotions that were getting the better of him. 
"I love you, Quinn."
"I don't want to imagine being without you, Y|N--! I'm so glad you're-- I'm so glad you're alright." He was struggling to take a breath now, gasping for small little breaths between breaks in his words. If only you could have embraced him. 
"I'll be okay," you reassured, your eyes getting watery. 
"No, no, please don't cry sweetheart," Quinn pleaded, seeing you tear up. "It's okay-- It's-- You're going to be okay. I'm going to take care of you, I promise."
Your mind was in a haze from pain meds and the trauma, but you remembered tonight's game would mark the beginning of a 3-game road trip for Quinn's team. "You're going to be gone."
"I could probably request leave," he said, struggling to regain his composure. 
"I don't want you to do that. They need you." Talking was getting harder and harder for you do, but as long as he was there, you'd keep talking to him.
"Baby, you need me more!"
Your eyes pleaded for him to understand where you were coming from. "I don't know how long I'm going to be in here, Quinny. I just want to go home!"
"Shh, shh, baby, don't cry. Try to relax, please! This is the safest place for you right now. Trust me-- I wish you were home, too. I wish this had never happened." Quinn's eyes were so red as he frowned looking at you, smoothing your hair to calm you. No amount of his kind words or gentle touches were going to help you right now, not as long as you had to lay in that hospital bed and he had to leave you there. Soon, there was a knock at the door.
"I'm sorry, but we're nearing the end of visiting hours," the nurse said regrettably, seeing the state you were both in. "They resume tomorrow morning at 8am."
"I'll come see you in the morning before we fly out, okay?" He reassured you, a soft kiss placed on your forehead. "I promise."
You'd give him the faintest nod you could as silent tears marked your cheeks. "I love you."
"I love you so much more, sweetheart."
- - - 
Quinn couldn't stay long the next morning. Your care had taken longer than was originally anticipated and he was forced to remain in the hallway until the nursing staff had finished what they needed to. When he was allowed in, he spent the entire time stroking your skin, almost like he had forgotten what you felt like beneath his fingers. He had missed your warmth in his bed, waking up beside you in the morning, and the sound of your voice in his apartment. Even though you had to spend long spans of time apart throughout the season, this hit so much differently. You were hurt, not yet out of the woods, and he couldn't be with you. Now he had to leave you for over a week and still remain focused on his job as if nothing had happened. 
"Here, I brought you something," he said, trying to give you a reassuring smile. "That hoodie you always steal from me."
Struggling, you gripped it beneath your fingers as he laid it across your chest. You could tell he had sprayed it with that Dior cologne you had bought him for Christmas. "It smells like you. Thank you, baby."
"You're welcome," he smiled, kissing your bruised cheek. "Hopefully it gets you through till I get back."
"I don't want you to go," you whined, for good reason. 
His smile faded quickly in a frown, fingers brushing hair away from your face, "I don't either. I talked to your mom this morning. She said if they released you before I got back, she's stay with you in the apartment. She said it would be too hard to take you back to their house because of all of the stairs."
You were thankful Quinn and your mother had such a good relationship. They meant the world to you, both of them, and it was going to take both of them to get you back on your feet. 
Eventually, he had to leave, so to make it to the airport on time and it hurt worse to watch him go today than it had last night. You knew it was because you wouldn't be seeing him tomorrow. 
"I'll call you every night, okay? Your mom said they recovered your purse from your car and she's going to bring it to you today."
"Oh, okay," you mumbled, your heart hurting from him starting his goodbyes. "Thank you."
He kissed you one more time, for as long as he could before finally having to be on his way. 
"Please, be careful," you urged, your fingers curling around the fabric of his hoodie. "I love you, Quinn."
"I love you, too, sweetheart. And I will. I'll be extra careful, promise." 
- - - 
The ten or so days Quinn was away passed by so slowly. The video calls with him had been a blessing although anytime you had to say goodbye it had ripped open those emotional wounds all over again. Your mother had brought you home two days ago and it had been nice to be back in the bed you shared with him, now if only he was there with you. Currently, you were laying near the middle of the bed, tucked in with your foot propped up with a pillow. You had just had a light lunch and taken the pharmacy worth of pills that had been prescribed for your recovery. Soon, you'd be drifting off for a nap at around the same time Quinn would be returning home. 
"I just got her asleep," your mom said after welcoming him. 
"How's she doing?"
She looked down, her lips pursed. "It's been a slow go of it, if I'm being honest. That concussion turned out to be a lot more severe than they had originally thought which has made her sleep schedule a nightmare. She cries all the time, she doesn't want to eat, and the pain has given her an attitude at times. I know a lot of it is because she misses you. I know my daughter, Quinn."
He let a soft sigh escape his lips. He couldn't blame you for how you were feeling, he had just hoped to have better news to come home to. 
"All of her meds and doctors instructions are on the counter. She won't need to take anything until dinner, aside from the pain pills. I'll warn you: she doesn't like to take them. She doesn't like how they make her feel, and she only really takes them if the pain gets unbearable."
"Okay, thank you. I appreciate everything you've done."
"Thank you, hon, truly. I'm happy she has you."
Once your mother left, Quinn locked the door, turned all the lights off and made his way to the bedroom. Quietly, he pushed open the door and leaned against the doorframe. Initially he smiled, but the longer he looked, the longer he was reminded of everything that had happened and the reason you were bed ridden. The neck brace was no more, but the bruises still remained, and the boot on your right foot and ankle. Your breathing was shallow when he walked over towards you, that's when he caught sight of you still clinging to that hoodie he had brought you like a security blanket. Carefully, he'd climb into bed and lay down facing you. His hand found your free one; his fingers trailing across your skin hoping to gently coax you from the faint sleep he hoped you had drifted off to. 
"Sweetheart, can you hear me?" He whispered, placing a kiss to your shoulder. "I'm home, baby." 
You managed a whimper, a sleepy kind of affirmation that you had heard something that had stirred you, but your eyes remained closed.
"Baby, it's me," he said again, this time his lips against your cheek. 
After a few more seconds of his fingers against your body your eyes would blink open, a smile instantly appearing. 
"Oh, Quinny!" you mumbled, lazily. "How long have you been home?"
"Just a little bit, I've been watching over you, but I got selfish. I wanted you to know I was here."
Lifting your hand, you reached for his face. His curls were in full force today, soft and something you had missed playing with. Something so simple as hearing him breathing you had missed. Quinn was finally home, and for a while this time. 
"How are you feeling?" He asked, scooting closer to you. "I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you more," you quickly replied. "I feel like I'm probably expected to. Everything hurts, I can't move without pain, breathing still sucks. I had a coughing fit yesterday and I thought I was going to die."
"Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry. I was hoping you'd be feeling better."
"I'll get better now that you're home. I just wanted you to be here."
Quinn smiled, "Me, too, babe. Me too, but now we're both finally home. Everything is okay now."
You nodded as your eyelids felt heavy again. He'd give you another kiss, making sure you had everything you needed. 
"I'm okay," you said, "I'm just tired."
"Then sleep, baby, you need it. I'll be right here, okay? I'm all yours. Anything you need, anything you want, just let me know and I'll get it for you. It's my turn to take care of you."
Quinn would drift off to sleep with you, your fingers interlocked as you slumbered. Although it was unfortunate you were still severely hurt, this was the only place he wanted to be. He wouldn't let you out of his sight for anything. He doted on you like a princess, making sure you wanted for absolutely nothing. 
He was everything you could ever wish for. 
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fangsandfeels · 1 year ago
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I've seen the "Non-ascended Astarion ending is bad for him because you have to persuade him to reject the ritual" opinion...
..implying that he never really wanted not to ascend, it's you the player who selfishly forces him to give up on his goal. To prove their point, they state that you can get a good ending out of all other companion's quests without using Persuasion at all, except for Astarion.
And boy did I want to talk about this...
(In fact, everything I wanted to say has already been told in this amazing meta post, but I still gotta ramble)
First of all, Astarion was going through an intense PTSD. The game gave him a debuff to show how badly going back to the place of his torment was affecting him. Larian couldn't make it more obvious that he wasn't thinking clearly.
Second, there is one thing all abusers have in common: they destroy their victim's feelings of self-worth to the point, the victim no longer wants or knows how to ask for help or have relationships outside their abusive circle.
Who would want you like this? Look at yourself, you think you're better than me? You're nothing. Who would want to waste their time on you? You think somebody else would treat you better?
Since entering the Cazador's palace, Astarion is reliving his worst moments. Initially, he takes it in stride, hiding his discomfort underneath performative and emotional expressiveness. He talks about how he spent time in the bedrooms where he never did any sleeping, about the kennels where he was tortured, about the barracks where he was sent to when he "deserved neither carrot nor stick". Bad memories, but he shares them with Tav because he trusts them with his scars already. They might as well know the rest.
But after descending into the dungeon, Astarion starts spiraling into self-loathing at a break-neck speed. He used to think that all Cazador victims he ever brought to him were long gone, drained, and discarded. A horrible, undeserved death, yet the thought of them not having to suffer for too long was a small consolation, one of the threads holding his sanity together.
But then it turns out that they weren't dead. They were turned. Locked away deep underground, alone with their new selves, with the hunger and isolation. They did suffer. All these years, they suffered, buried in this tomb - because of him. Cazador may have turned them, but it was Astarion who brought them to him. And they remembered it. They recognized him. The monster who stole them from their home. The monster who ruined their life. Monster. Just like Cazador.
So, as if his PTSD wasn't enough, this revelation was another blow to his grip on himself, his perception of himself. His confident facade was shattering - and in his head, he was starting to think that Tav's idea of him, of who he is, was shattering as well. He tried to warn them before. He said he couldn't be what they saw in him. Whatever person they believed him to be had never existed - and Tav was finally coming to realize that as they walked through the gallery of his sins, looking his victims in the eyes and hearing out what they had to say. Of course, Tav hated him now. They had to. How could they not?
So, at the end, he is scared. Terrified. He bit off more than he could chew by walking into the manor and thinking he had only six fellow spawns to deal with. He saw their lives as a small price to pay because Cazador made sure to erase any solidarity between them. He made them torture each other and compete with each other. He twisted the very meaning of family bonds to his perverted liking, and he knew that by doing so, he would make sure every single one of them would get a whiplash from anyone trying to mention family in a positive connotation. Astarion takes no issue with getting rid of his "brothers" and "sisters" because he is fully aware that had the roles been reversed, they would have sacrificed him without a second thought. And he was certain that Tav would change their mind once they learned more about his brethren.
But the spawns in the dungeon...All the faces he remembered. All the lovers he lured. They did nothing wrong. They never hurt him. They never tortured him. Their only mistake was to trust him.
The revelation horrifies him. His first response is to be shocked, overwhelmed with emotion - and then he has to remind himself that sacrifices must be made. He feigns indifference. He tries to cover his internal conflict with gallows humor. But his flippant mask keeps slipping as he lapses from indifference to anger, to guilt, to begging Tav not to hate him as his greatest crimes glare back at him and claw at him, shouting out threats and seething with hatred.
He can't bear the thought of dealing with all the people whose lives he helped to destroy. He can't do anything for them. Just killing Cazador won't undo what he did to them. He will never be anything but a monster in their eyes. And this is what he deserves to be. He will always be reminded of what he is.
He has no choice but to do the Ritual.
He has no idea what will happen to him after he is done - he isn't a planner. He has never been. But at this point, he doesn't see his soul as something worthy of preserving - and by association, he extends that to other spawns. He knows it all too well because he remembers how it felt. He dissociates, projecting everything he hated about himself onto Cazador's victims, trying to rationalize why he should live and why they must die while he actively avoids the truth.
Completing the ritual is no longer about being free. Or protecting himself and his lover. It's about running away. Even when Astarion has Cazador at his mercy, he still thinks of running away. Getting lost forever. So nobody could ever hurt him.
A part of him even realizes that it means running away from Tav too. But Tav can leave, he naively thinks, not knowing the full consequences of the ritual. Tav will leave to find someone else, someone better, and he will start everything anew, a king of his castle.
So, of course, Tav has to reach out to him through that thick haze of fear, anger, and self-hatred. Persuasion isn't about strongarming someone into doing what you want. It's not subjugation or emotional blackmail. It's reasoning with someone. And that is exactly what Tav does - reasons with Astarion after watching him mentally struggle, after seeing his genuine shock and fear, after understanding that he isn't fully on board with the idea.
It's true, vampire spawns tend to gravitate toward power, especially if nothing is pulling them back. A vampire spawn is a feared and scorned creature - it no longer matters whether they were an unwilling victim, forcefully taken and turned. They are seen not as an individual but as the extension of their master - and the only natural transition for them is to get on the top of the food chain. The only way to make a name and become treated as something more.
Astarion saw power as the mean to safety and freedom, first and foremost. Ironically, he never planned beyond securing these two priorities. He never saw himself after accomplishing his goals, and it's kinda amazing how people can make conclusions about his hedonism because he misses petty vanities, wants to drink blood from a goblet, and sleep on silken sheets. The man who was held and tortured in the kennels, fed rats, and had to stitch and fix his only set of clothes over and over to keep it presentable, the man who has never felt happy for most of his conscious non-life is called hedonistic for wanting nice things. For still wanting to take care of himself for once.
He wasn't harboring any grand plans, conquests, or schemes. Even his idea of taking control of the Absolute was abstract and shapeless because he didn't care about getting control over the most influential people as much as he was afraid of breaking whatever protected him from Cazador's domination. He never really knew what to do with power aside from keeping Cazador and the likes of him at bay.
The way Astarion behaves in a relationship also speaks tons of how controlling he really is...or how he isn't controlling at all. When his romance with Tav transforms into something real, and he enters a new territory, Astarion is empowered to make decisions and think about what he wants instead of pleasuring others. It's clear that he and Tav don't have sex after they come clear about their feelings. Tav respects his comfort and boundaries, gives him all the time he needs, and lets him take the lead. Whether they will have sex again or not is entirely up to Astarion. Whatever he decides, it won't change Tav's feelings for him. He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do.
Astarion enjoys this new autonomy. He is playful, affectionate, outspoken...and afraid of messing everything up. If Tav mentions breaking up, Astarion thinks he is the problem. If there is another potential love interest showing they have eyes for Tav, Astarion encourages Tav to be with them because he believes they can give Tav everything he can't. When Tav says "I choose you," Astarion is taken aback, needing a moment to hide his genuine confusion at Tav actually wanting to be with him rather than Gale, Karlach, or Halsin.
For all his talks of control and dominating others, once Astarion finds himself with a lover who values his autonomy more than getting power at the cost of his dignity, who makes it safe for him to be honest, and who listens to him, he almost stops mentioning control. He merely lives in the moment, happy not to know, not to pretend, not to manipulate. Just to be.
What Astarion truly craves - not wants on a superficial level, not conditioned to want - is not to be a vampire lord. He wants the freedom to be anything. Anything he wants. Little does he know that true vampires rarely get to be anything they want, even if they gain the ability to walk in the sun -- we see it in his Ascended path as, instead of acting up on his supposed freedom to be anything, Astarion repeats Cazador's rules step by step. Just like Cazador did. Just like Verlioth did. He isn't anything he wants. He is the replica of his former master.
Astarion never had the luxury to explore who he wanted to be outside what Cazador made him. He only makes his first steps once he is free. We see glimpses of that deep-seated aspiration to be seen as a person. Treated like a person. Loved like a person. To be reflected in someone's eyes. He wants to know if there is someone beneath his usual mask, something his, not tainted by Cazador. Someone real. And at the same time, he dreads to know the answer. Because that part of him knows regret. Knows shame. Knows guilt. Confronting it posed the risk of realizing he didn't deserve love, kindness, or a future. What if real him truly doesn't amount to anything? What else for him to do?
So, he tells himself that he has no choice, and he expects Tav to affirm it -- not because he wants them to, but because he believes that Tav has seen enough to make the same conclusion. However, Tav objects, trying to be louder than all the inner demons hissing into his ears. Tav speaks to the Astarion, who asked them what they saw when they looked at him. The Astarion, who thanked them for standing by his side when he said "No" to Araj. The Astarion one who stood frozen in their hug before returning it tentatively. The Astarion who diligently, dedicatedly, caringly kept pulling himself together instead of letting himself unravel completely.
Tav reminds him that this Astarion, right here, right now, is worth fighting for. That he didn't survive all these years of torture, pain, humiliation, and dehumanization to give himself up now. He already has the power to avenge himself, avenge all Cazador's victims. He can end everything right here, right now - and this is the only power to free him. He has the power (and responsibility) of having a choice.
Tav empathizes with other spawns as victims not because they're more "innocent" than Astarion, but because associating with them doesn't brand Astarion as weak or broken. These spawns aren't horrible wretches, and neither is he. They don't deserve this, and neither did he.
The only one who deserves to die today is Cazador - the vampire, the monster, the pathetic piece of shit.
Astarion Ancunin deserves to live.
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imababblekat · 2 years ago
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Chase
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Anon Request, “Funny ask here! An expert free runner (jumping from building to building) catches the turtles on camera. The boys planned to do the same intimidation act like with April but are shocked when they jet off managing to keep a good distance. Then once they think they have them cornered on a construction site the boys fall through the building roof landing in waist high wet concrete. Looking down at them the runner blows them a kiss before taking off. (P.S. their cool though and just keep the photo as a momento)How do the 4 react to seeing them again when they literally bump into each other on the rooftops?”
 ◌ Part Two ◌
~xXx~
You hadn’t intentionally meant to take a picture of the turtles. If anything it was their fault they ended up in your shot. After finishing a course you’d been aiming at for over a week, you thought it’d be a great moment to capture, but hadn’t expected to catch anyone else in the background of your roof top photo. Much less those anyone’s being four mutant ninja turtles. It was the squak of surprise at the sudden flash of your mini Polaroid that alerted you to them.
Seeing the turtles left you somewhere between an intriguing shock and confused fear, even if seeing one of them rapidly rub at their flashed eyes while over exaggerate about how they burned did indeed give you a little giggle. There wasn’t much time to process the whiplash of emotions however, as one of them, clad in red and quite burly out of the bunch, came marching your way. Not a word had a chance of making its way from their lips, as your body did what it was trained so hard to do, making a mad dash across the old market roof top. Just like that, the four brothers found themselves in a sudden grand chase. “Great job, Raph!”, Leo snapped at said aggravated terrapin, making easy work of hopping over a fenced roof. “I ain’t even do anythin’! It’s your fault!”, Raph retaliated, vaulting over some exterior vents. “Oh, and how is that exactly?!” “You’re the one who gave us the all clear!” Bouncing from wall to wall as the group followed you down into an old parking garage Donnie interjected between the two argumentative brothers. “Guy’s is now really the time?! We kind of have something urgent on our hands.” “Yeah! Like how I can’t see their sick moves because my eyes are still having a disco party!”, Mikey continued to blink rapidly, nearly missing the open edge if not for Donnie giving him aid with his staff. Rolling his own eyes, Leo brushed off the youngest, keeping track of your movements as you scaled your way into a construction building across the way. “Come on, let’s get this over with. There’s no where to go past that building, we’ll catch them there.” All the years of free running across New York, you’d never felt as thrilled as you did now. Sure, it was still terrifying in a way being chased by four giant creatures who were quite nimble despite their enormous size, but you had to be honest in the way their pursuit brought on an adrenaline like no other. They put your skills to the test in a way you could never personally do yourself, and as you swung from a bar into another construction building, you felt elation rush through your body. At least, till you found yourself caught in between a rock and a hard place, staring at a concrete solid wall with no where to escape. Hearing the collective sounds of heavy foot falls, you quickly turned around to find the four beings surrounding the only path you’d have of escape. Seeing the glares upon their faces, your racing heart now beat rapidly for a different reason. Taking a moment to even his breathing, Leonardo stepped forward, watching your reactions carefully. “We’re not going to hurt you. Just. . .don’t scream.”, he spoke as calmly as he could, hands raised to show he had no misleading intentions. You said nothing, just continued to take control of your own breathing as your eyes shifted between him and his brothers. “I’m Leonardo, and these are-“ “I’m Michelangelo, but you can just call me Mikey!”, the orange banded turtle cut in, shoving past his brother and winking at you. “The guy in purple is Donatello, and the one in red who mean mugged you is Raphael! What’s your name angel? I say angel, because there’s no way you could have crossed those alleyways so eloquently without a pair of wings~.” “Mikey!”, all three other brothers shouted in unison. “What?!” With a light groan, Donnie reminded him of their current objective. “We’re here to get the photo. Not you a love interest.” “Oooooh right, the photo!” Your eyes shifted from Raphael, back to Mikey as he moved closer, three fingered hand reaching out. Sifting into your pocket it didn’t take long to pull out the small square picture. Despite it being exposed and grainy in some parts, the tangibility of the photo and the story it now held caused a surprising sorrow in your heart to have to depart with it. Yet, gazing back up to the four mutants before you, you understood why they’d want it. With the way you reacted, who could imagine how others might to their discovery. You met Mikey half way, extending your own hand to give him the small photo, fingers lightly brushing the other. All of a sudden, a loud crack was heard, and all five of you stood frozen. Before anyone could blink, the floor caved in, the four brothers descending down into dust and debris, and you with quick reflexes pressing tight back against the concrete wall. Once the clouded air had settled, you quickly peaked over into the newly established hole, a surge of worry for the ninja quartet. Relief washed through as you caught sight of the brothers who had landed in a mucky puddle, most likely sore from the fall but seemingly fine otherwise. As the boys groaned and started another round of arguing with one another, you suddenly remembered the photo and quickly checked your closed fist to find it still there. Carefully bringing the picture before you to look at once more, a thought had emerged. This was the most fun you had in long time, the most alive you’ve felt in a while. Recalling the kind smile Mikey had given you and Leo’s mindful approach as to not frighten you, you considered the growing idea in your mind even more. Making up your mind, you gently tucked the photo back into your pocket with a gleeful grin. You swore to yourself that night to never show anyone that picture, but as long as you held on to it, you knew you’d eventually wind up seeing the turtles again. With that, you skipped from the tiny ledge along the wall, and whistled to catch the turtles’ attention. “Bye boys! It was nice meeting you!” Loud shouts and scrambling could be heard as each one clambered over the other, slipping back and forth into the deep puddle in an effort to get up and to you, but by the time they’d get themselves straightened out, you’d be long gone with anticipating hope of the next chase.
~xXx~
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multific · 1 year ago
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Taskforce 141's Reaction to Seeing You in Your Wedding Dress for the First Time - Preferences
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John Price
John had been waiting years to finally marry you. He proposed three years ago and ever since, the time never came. So, when your wedding was finally here, it was a very emotional day for everyone. His entire team was there along with your family and John couldn't have wished for more.
Yet, he was nervous as he stood by the altar. He feared you ran off.
So, when the music started playing and you walked down the aisle, John felt a long sigh leave him.
Then he saw how amazing you looked.
He would cry, only a couple of teardrops, but he would let those slip with pride as he watched his bride walk down towards him. He felt intense joy and pride.
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Simon Riley
He would be a mess on your wedding day.
So much so that everyone around him had to calm him down. And holding Simon back was a real challenge.
He wanted to see you, but he also couldn't which ate him up on the inside.
He kept fidgeting and shifting from one leg to the other.
Simon swore he nearly gave himself whiplash from how quickly he turned around as the music started to play.
But, there were you, in your gorgeous dress. Simon felt the tears roll down his cheeks, he even saw Johnny take a picture but he didn't care. All he cared about is how much he loved you and your beautiful smile as your hand was handed over to him.
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Johnny MacTavish
Johnny is not one to hold back his emotions when it comes to you.
He has always been and always will be open about them.
And how could he hold these emotions on his own wedding day?
The answer was simple, he couldn't.
Seeing you enter the room, he was already crying, too taken over by the emotions.
Johnny would be the kind of man who is not afraid to show this side of himself.
He would be proud that he landed a woman like you, and so he would be proud to see you in your wedding gown. Knowing what you two have been through just to get here.
He gave a little squeeze to your hand.
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Kyle Garrick
Kyle would be the kind who would try his best to hold back his tears.
It would be difficult considering that deep down he was also an emotional person.
As the music started to play and he heard the doors open, he was fine.
But then he saw you, hiding behind your veil, it just did something to him.
He would still try his best not to cry, even if it was all so overwhelming. You two were surrounded by your family and his, and on top of it all, you looked so gorgeous in your dress.
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Taglist: @fleursirvart @greenarrowhead @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @destynelseclipsa @spilledinkindumpster @capsiclesdoll @puknow @alwayshave-faith @alex12948 @lxdyred  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @praline357 @trshngyn @avengers-r-us @violet-19999 @top1bbgloak   @manduse   @jacalineiscomingforyou  @mandoloriancookie @noname2246
~Masterlist~
ˇAO3ˇ
DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  
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cod-dump · 2 years ago
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Ghost fell first and fell hard. He’s been suppressing his emotions for years and it doesn’t bother him anymore when people eventually stop trying with him. But then Soap showed up and changed that. Soap didn’t pull away when he noticed how closed off Ghost was. No, he just smiled and stayed.
Ghost’s walls cracked until they crumbled, leaving a hole big enough for Soap to come through. Once Soap was inside—
Ghost decided he wasn’t going to let him go. Gaz mentioned how Ghost went from letting Soap being the only person he allowed to touch him to ‘I will bite anyone who even even thinks about looking at him’ all within a day. It was such a rapid change that it gave people whiplash. From ‘sort of friends’ to ‘soulmates’ within twenty four hours.
Soap wasn’t given a warning before the change, either. One moment he was lightly touching Ghost’s hand, not wanting to make the man uncomfortable by holding his hand, then the next moment Ghost was devoting his whole soul to him, holding his face like he was the most precious gemstone in the world.
This probably would’ve been too much… for anyone else other than Soap. Soap who always gave his all into a relationship only for it to break apart because he was ‘too much’. Soap who was used to being the only one trying so hard.
Now he’s met his match and neither are going anywhere any time soon.
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princess-of-the-corner · 18 days ago
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Okay so, something kinda funny about Hasbro's first toy-promoting cartoons: The writers for those shows HATED the "The Complainer is Always Wrong" trope that was prevalent in kids' shows at the time, and thus they introduced a few characters who complain a lot, but made it so they're usually right.
The Autobot Gears, for example, is an overall pretty pessimistic bot. The others keep him around because he often notices issues the others overlook (which is PRETTY IMPORTANT when fighting a war) and the one time he was optimistic and agreeable, it was because the Decepticons had stolen his negative emotions to make him a compliant slave (and to use the chip that granted the capacity to be grumpy as a component in a machine that would harvest the Sun for energy). Him being super happy, upbeat, and agreeable all the time no-matter-what was shown to be a bad thing.
Love the mood whiplash this gave me.
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notnights · 9 months ago
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Just me or does no one else acknowledge the age difference between Jax and Gangle? Idk, I appreciate it in your fic even. (When Gangle preferred being called a "woman" because it showed her maturity/age)
I used to see people bring it up, because for some reason just the 4 year age gap was weird to some people despite them both being young adults that would likely be in college together.
Anyways. Yeah, the woman bit in Acetate was meant to showcase Jax's understanding of this other side of Gangle as opposed to her actual age.
She's a weak, feeble, crybaby, it's easy to infantize that kind of person. It's in direct relation to Jax calling her out right before that part, for making him take the blame for something she did. She understands the level of infantization she receives so much, that she's reluctantly accepted it to the point she'll use it to her advantage. ("Why would the pushover do that? Jax, it was clearly you.")
I have her direct motivation in this fic be that she'd also hate if the others found out about how Jax fell for her, and then later hiding what she's been doing to him; but if those weren't motivating factors I believe she would've just let Ragatha slip in to help her with most of the situation.
Which is also why she sort of gets antsy when Ragatha offers or tries to help. Because for once Gangle's trying to handle it, for once she's saying no, and while Ragatha has good intentions, she basically shows Gangle, she doesn't believe her capable. And why Jax's callout, and label of woman hit her so hard. Not even the the kindest person in the group views her as a capable adult, the irony the person she hates does probably gave her whiplash.
She's a weak crybaby but she's still a grown up, she still deals with adult problems and emotions, adult wants and needs. But the treatment she receives from others over the years (including if we assume she had the same issues in the real world) wares you down into just accepting that, easier to go with the flow than swim against it. Gets whiplash from Jax's statement because he's fished her out of that flow for a second that even she forgot she wanted out of.
Jax took notice of those traits, the ones still motivated by those adult wants and needs, problems and feelings. Jax too leans into immaturity, he's like the bully on the playground, but it's worse because he's a grown adult who knows full well his actions hurt others but enjoys doing it anyways.
Either if he does this because he still has some self-reflection to do himself, or he really does not care and uses it as a cope to this awful cartoon world he's stuck in, or maybe something else, has yet to be seen maybe we'll find out one day. But in my story he def sees a parallel with himself and Gangle with that.
(Taking examples from the new episode actually: Ragatha scolds Jax like a kid who doesn't know any better. In my story Ragatha helps Gangle like she's a kid who can't do anything.)
When he finally starts catching this side of Gangle, that's when he eventually develops feelings. That there's more to her than "weak, feeble, crybaby." She is also an adult woman. She is also someone who's self-aware of how people perceive her. She has motivations sometimes vindictive, deviant, motivations. She is Gangle.
Woo, that was long what happened where am I oh god. I don't think your ask really wanted that whoops.
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myrandomobsessionmix · 7 months ago
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It’s been a minute since I posted but my god is the BL world keeping me well fed.
Starting with…
1. My Stand-In, my highest rank in the my current watch list.
Ep 10 gave me everything I needed to be there from the books and more. Thank god they made show Ming so much more endearing or is it just Up Poompat’s duality showing through?
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What I love most about show Ming is that he is really laying all his cards and putting his heart on display for Joe to nitpick or ruin as he please. He is displaying his remorse for the past him so well that although one might argue he’s being pushy, I think the current maturity he has is a good work in progress.
He’s learning people, you can’t expect someone to change their whole nature like whiplash.
Also, we all are in favor of tossing Tong in the bonfire for fuel yes?
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2. Only Boo!
A shocker I know. This recently ended so I’ll put this here okay? It’s a simple show, and tbh I didn’t have any expectations for this show at all.
I don’t know about you guys but this kind of shows are usually not my cup of tea, I need a mature show, angst, drama, action. Light hearted and coming of age? Urm, not on my roster? But somehow this show manages to hit a soft spot in me.
For their first rodeo in acting, SeaKeen did really well. A lot of awkwardness and it was obvious it was their first time, but somehow it fit to their storyline?
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Plus their emotional actings was really good for their first time, props where it’s due 👍🏻
And ok, all the cast are endearing except for the two I’m pissed off with
*cough* Mom&Shone*cough*.
Overall though, it was a nice feel good show that hit the right marks (admittedly not all) but they wrapped it up well and I hope to see the two couples again SeaKeen & AunAshi in the future ☺️
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3. Wandee Goodday
Hmm believe it or not, if you asked me 2 episodes back, I would have put this show as a tie with My Stand-In, but the recent ones have been annoying me to no end.
I still love this show, the quirkiness is there, the second couple is wholesome yet naughty,
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but my god, YakDee is starting to get on my nerves.
Dee, honey, I get that you had a crush on that man for 8 years, but really how could you not immediately push him away when he tried kissing you twice? After he is blatantly showing you signs that he is using you?
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This seriously made the kiss scene with Yak lose some of spark that I was hoping for.
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Also, although the guy didn’t say I love you at first, he did say he was yours, so honey, you better have a big trauma or sth hanging over you to really be in that much denial.
The only saving grace right now for this show for me is that Yak finally directly confessed.
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So let’s get a move on, ok people?
And that’s enough ranting for now. 🤭
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pruneunfair · 8 days ago
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TW: NSFW
I realized lots of those historical fiction comics made by Asians (Not racism, I'm an Asian myself), Manga, manhwha, Manhua not all of them treat the dark mature topics they first introduced well, it's like those topics are just added for shock values and are basically "Yeah so this person here did that, they're basically the worst scums of the world"
Like I remember that there's this anime which is made from a Manga, it's like those Royal OIs nowadays, I didn't bother to check if it's OI, anyway the story started with the Crown Prince who's ex-fiancé of the FL, he apparently committed incest with his sister and only got engaged with FL to use her as a meat bag camouflage so he can get away with his bullshit and the story ended up with the FL having a pink rosy romance with her magical beast man
I'm not against comedy, quirkiness or outright funny nonsense in Fiction, ppl can still make dark AF stories with some humours and bright colors, but the tonal whiplash with that anime just gives me a weird feeling, like I thought the story could go in depth with the Crown Prince as a major antagonist (When is the Asian historical fiction genre gonna start treating Crown Princes with the respect of antagonists they should have and not being treated like scummy punching bags for the readers and authors to unleash their anger at or just basically a dumb plot device trash bag). Like that Prince had potentials as shitty as he is, the story could go deeper into depth about why he's so fucked up and why he did incest, incest isn't bad at all in Fiction if used correctly, instead of just forcing modern ideals onto a historical fantasy needlessly (Boohoo incest is bad, anyone who does it is a scummy asshole), it just feels so off putting
Just because someone did unconventional stuff, they're automatically bad is just a bad perspective to have, it's basically being willfully blind towards actual problems
The only instance where Crown Princes are treated as the Villains they are, it's Eros and Alexo from Your Throne and Kill the Villainess respectively, we got to see how both are so messed up in their own ways and get their own personal chapters, which I believe is how you treat Villains right
I believe that every character deserves their basic decency and respect, not in treating them as good, but treat them as they are, Villains deserve to be their own characters, not just a hate bag, like what they did with Sovieshu and Rashta (I'm damn sure they're just made to be hated and not considered as anything worthwhile other than being targets of hate)
Yes even with utter scums, you should try to have decency cuz if you act hateful towards them all the time eventually you're just no better than them (This isn't a moral lesson)
I've seen cases of people getting hated cuz they're involved with bad people from the public, like there's this scene in a Chinese series I think, it was about crimes and lawyers, a lawyer who defends the criminal get yelled at after a trial by the lawyer of the victim, who apparently lost to the other party, she put the other lawyer into the same kind of people as his client, a criminal, all because the lawyer took the side of his client, are you fucking kidding me? The guy was being verbally abused RIGHT IN A COURTHOUSE BY A LAWYER NO LESS cuz he did his job??
The criminal lawyer gave a retort right back to the woman that made me think: "Instead of standing here yelling at me and treating me like I'm the partner in crime of my client, why don't YOU focus on your client and find actual proof to back up your claims"
You see this is a case of how ignoring the obvious and getting all emotional can be damaging, a lot of ppl don't understand that criminals get rights too cuz the laws don't know what is what until everything gets sorted out, even if the lawyer dislikes it, he has to defend his client the best he can without prejudices, cuz trust me, the moment anyone involved in the trials show that they're not even impartial enough, the case become a bust and the verdicts go nowhere. This was actually talked about by an actual lawyer, not the scene I mentioned but it was similar: A lawyer being treated like scum by the public cuz he represents the criminal hated by the public since to them, it means he automatically sided with the Criminal, he literally gets publicly attacked for doing his job, it's to show that the law business isn't for the weak at all
This is all a case of letting the emotions get the best of you that you basically ignored everything, Rashta was written to be hated so that everyone ignores the clear obvious that is the entire story, there's the concept that once the hatred gets to your brain, your mind can't think of anything else at all, to me, this shows me that despite being taught to be decent to everyone as a child, adults are sure to be quick to hate and get biased without knowing anything, I know cuz I was the same, I'm trying my best to fix it cuz apparently it has become a societal thing so it's effectively contagious and everyone just treat it as "You're just overthinking" when you pointed it out
I believe this is like that title I heard once about before, "The Hate you spread"
I also have moments where my own emotions are treated as unvalidated hence you can see why I stress a lot about the mind aspect of characters, cuz a character with no mind isn't a character, just something with a tag and a role to play, they have nothing else besides their assigned roles
So yeah I think that at least let the villains have their moments, cuz I honestly get so tired with blind rage cuz I dislike being treated like that, that I'm being blindly angry at nothing
I think that bright colored happy go lucky stories can have dark elements too but it at least needs to be balanced out, else it's just off and on most of the time, sure it's not like I hate happy stories that promote positivity and love, but seeing them introducing terrible stuff and then ignores it when they want to and brings it up when they want, it feels strangely obnoxious, it's like that person who always act happy with you, but then when issues came up, they immediately pull out the fact you screw up once just to fault you into being wrong
Wow, this was a really good essay you wrote.
It is definitely a huge problem with a lot of east Asian media I read where the use of dark topics like SA and incest are inserted in for either fetish reasons or an attempt to call it out but it just falls flat because it isn't an integral part of the story.
I could not agree more with your take that villains all need to be treated as characters and not punching bags. There's nothing wrong about actually hating one of your characters but if your hatred for said character is getting in the way of the plot then your going to end up with something like miraculous ladybug.
Miraculous ladybug is a magical girl show set in France that was originally about the misadventures of Ladybug and Chat Noir until Chat was basically tossed to the side to make room for random superheroes that played little role in the plot after their signature episode. Chloe was the typical rich girl bully that made the main character, Marinette, miserable however in season 2 she got the beginnings of a redemption arc that was actually fleshing out her character until Thomas Astruc came back, completely destroyed the redemption arc and tried to erase it by making Chloe so cartoonishly evil (the girl literally takes over the role as mayor of Paris which like... what? How the hell was that allowed? Thomas, make it make sense!)
This kind of writing flaw where the bad guys are so incompetently evil yet your supposed to take them seriously are just so pitiful to watch when you realize they exist solely to make everything else look good.
I actually can get really into tonal whiplash (when it's made well of course) simply because of the very real nature that not everything is as it seems and everything good or bad has its dark layers. The amazing digital circus does this excellently for example by combining vibrant colors and shapes to match the aesthetic of a nostalgic video game and designing the characters to all resemble childhood related toys or objects while combining it with the "I have no mouth and I must scream" vibes that force the characters out of the safe space of the circus and into the often traumatizing adventures.
But I can definitely see what you mean when there's just dark stuff for the sake of quickly hashing up something for either hating a character or for edginess to make the work feel more adult in that way. I've read many manga and manhwa that unfortunately were kind of icky to read when they pulled the rape scene card only to move on like it was nothing once the girl was saved, hell even some of my most favorite anime aren't safe from using sexual assault for quick shock value.
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metallicaislife · 1 year ago
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My Nemesis, James Hetfield pt 2
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A/N: My first draft had a Bill cameo and then I was like "Nah this isn't the vibe" but it was funny when I was first writing it out hahaha p.s I saved that draft if anyone wants the bloopers 🫣😂
Requested by: Anon
Genre: Fluff mini angst
Word Count: 676
Warnings: slightly tactless James, but it gets resolved real quick 😌
My Nemesis, James Hetfield
Metallica was playing tonight. I was front and center head banging and jamming along. James kept grinning at me, and I of course would grin back. I was absolutely smitten. 
Since the party several months back, he was true to his word. Gone was the mean curmudgeon. James is the sweetest, funniest guy I’ve ever met. 
After the show was over I made my way backstage. I showed my pass and got back to the dressing room with ease. I knocked on the door then twisted the knob. 
“Everyone decent?” I asked through the crack. There was a chorus of affirmatives. I opened the door further and entered the room, closing the door behind me. 
I squealed as I was immediately engulfed in a hug, James lifted me spinning me around. I giggled as he set me down. I grinned up at him and he kissed me. 
“You did so good tonight.” I said after he pulled away. 
“Always do when you’re in the crowd.” He smiled at me. 
“Eugh I think I liked it better when he was mean to you.” Dave complained. 
“You’re just upset you lost the bet.” Lars said, “I happen to think they’re cute. And my wallet is ten dollars heavier.” He joked. 
“We have to finish packing up, after we take it all back to the house do you want to go get some food?” James asked as he caressed my hip with his thumb. 
“Yeah that sounds good.” I smiled. He kissed me once more. I helped them pack their equipment and get it back to their place. 
As James drove to the diner, the music played softly and he had his hand on my thigh. Just being around him made me so happy. 
We got to the diner and he held the door open for me. 
“Thank you.” I smiled. He teasingly slapped my butt as I passed. “James!” I giggled and he just smirked in return. We were led to a booth and slid in across from each other. We ordered our usual meals. 
“So, I wanted to talk to you, it’s kinda serious.” James said as he played with the rings on my fingers. 
“What’s up?” I asked. I couldn’t help the nervous pit forming in my tummy. 
“I don’t know if Lars has talked to you at all about this, but Ron’s leaving the band. We’ve found a guy, he’s a perfect fit.” James started. 
“Lars hasn’t said anything, I’m glad you already found Ron’s replacement though.” I replied. James continued fiddling with my rings and fingers. 
“Well, there’s a catch. He’ll only join if we move up to the San Francisco area.” He said, his blue eyes staring into mine. 
“Oh.” Was all I could say.  I plastered a fake smile hoping he wouldn’t see through it as I tried to be supportive. I began to withdraw my hand from the table but he grabbed it and gave it a squeeze. 
“I know we haven’t been dating long, but I want you to come with me. I know Lars would love that, I mean you already know he loves having you around. And I would love having you around because I love you.” He rushed out. His eyes widened as he realized what he said at the end. We haven’t said that yet. The feelings are definitely there though. The anxious feeling in my stomach stilled at the peace that came from his statement.
“I love you.” I said. His features softened and he smiled at me. “The emotional whiplash you gave me just now makes me want to hit you just a little.” I laughed softly. James chuckled. I paused even though as soon as he asked my mind shouted the answer. “Yes, I’ll go to San Francisco with you.” James' eyes lit up as his smile widened. 
“Yeah?” He asked and I nodded. 
“I’d follow you anywhere, Hetfield.” I grinned. His cheeks turned rosy. 
Our food came, we ate while excitedly talking about what the future holds for us in San Francisco.
Thank you for reading! Feel free to request or chat :)
-Isa
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starcatttt · 9 months ago
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lmk Season 5 trailer spoilers below the cut! (Bonus ramble about my thoughts about it too lol)
Link to the trailer if you haven't watched (first one I found): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEYwtKDD9NE
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Sooo uh, I have some thoughts about the new info regarding the switch from Flying Bark to Wildbrain Studios. Literally just some random opinions I have about it so far, nothing super serious lol.
First up though, definitely no hate to Wildbrain or the animators who worked on this whatsoever, animation is SO difficult to do, and the expectation for the show's quality was definitely set very high early on, even in season 1. Other people have probably said this better than me, but absolutely no hate or harassment to them.
For my opinion on the animation in the trailer, I can't say I'm the biggest fan? I don't think its horrible. I think it will definitely get better when the episodes actually start releasing.
But for now, some or a lot of the shots looked stiff and kind of like they were sliding a PNG for the movement in some scenes.
Speaking of, I found this and idk (a scene in the trailer)
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Its the same PNG face, just flipped. Not super happy that they just used the same image you can find just by looking swk up, but it's not terrible? Just wanted to bring it up ig.
For me, I think the biggest thing was the proportions and movement. It sort of felt low budget, and I'm not sure if that's the case, or its just the studio getting used to the monkie kid style.
I'm not a big fan of the rigging animation either, probably because of the stuff I said earlier. Again, how its done in the trailer looks really weird in some shots, same in how its very obvious how they use rigged puppets instead of handrawn animation. It makes me kind of worried that we won't get any of those cool fight scenes we got before (like swk and Nezha or MK and Azure). I hope it'll get only better in the future, and I'm pretty sure it'll at least be decent.
I think its going to take a WHILE to get used to the change, and it personally really threw me off this morning. It feels pretty sudden, mainly because 1, the trailer dropped out of nowhere, and 2 nothing about the switch until today gave me emotional whiplash lol.
I actually am still excited about the new season, and will definitely watch when the English dub drops! Guess I just wanted to dump my thoughts here and see who agrees ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
tldr: I thought the animation looked off, same as the style and stuff, but I'm pretty sure it'll get better once the season actually comes out.
Can't wait to watch it though! AND remember to tag spoilers if you post about it!
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chimcess · 1 year ago
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→ Chapter Seven: Growing Pains Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut, Word Count: 11.6k+ Synopsis: Within the four realms of Lustra lay the Bangtan forest home to the Foxglove pack of the south and known as the “land of magic.” It is also home to the Bridd, a powerful witch from a cursed bloodline who is one of the sacred guardians of the forest. Y/N is the newest Bridd, a young girl who was given her position too early. Now a woman, Y/N is revered amongst the wolves as the most powerful witch they have ever known, but hiding under the surface is a woman who has to battle between her duty and her heart. Warnings: ANGST BB, hurt, argument, sexism, I love/hate Bo, strong language, crying, PTSD, Impulsive decisions, I love Taehyung so much, he is my sweet baby angel, we need better communication skills, mentions of a toxic relationship (not reader and Jimin), Anger issues, mental illness, long hair Jimin for the win, emotional turmoil, conflicting feelings, emotional whiplash, talks of possible character death, let me know if I missed anything A/N: Not me surprising dropping. This was such a difficult chapter to write. I enjoy angst and everything, and this was meant to be the catalyst to the adventure we need to take, but that doesn't mean I like causing pain. Hope you guys like it!
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Bo and I stared at one another. Her jaw was clenched, and I could feel how tense my eyebrows were. We had been in this room for over an hour already and her stupid training was going nowhere. I did not want to learn how to talk to my husband properly. He enjoyed how I was already.
“Why are you making this so difficult?” She spat.
“Because I can,” I taunted. 
Her mouth twitched and I waited for her to finally snap. I would like a good fight to get all of my pent up frustration out. Instead, she took another deep breath and told me to point out the proper soup spoon. 
“This is the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life,” I mumbled and pointed at the smallest one in the set.
“And you’re the dumbest thing that’s come into mine,” She bit back.
“This is really unnecessary, Bo,” Sol sighed from beside me. “Y/N has better things to do than sit here and look at silverware. None of us even use these anymore.”
I looked at her and hoped she could see how grateful I was she was sitting here with me. When Bo showed up at Jimin’s house this morning, the Luna had followed behind her every step of the way hoping we could put the traditional nonsense behind us. I did not see the point in following their customs more than I already did and Sol herself said no one really cares about certain formalities anymore. Jimin seemed sad to watch me go but more pleased than he let on. Sol said these preparations were meant for our wedding and it made him happy to think about. That was the only reason I was still sitting here.
“I’m sure Oxur Park knows how much Alpha Park loves a woman with knowledge,” The wolf gave me a satisfied smirk. “Unless you’ve decided to take that from him, too.”
Bo had made it her mission to get me out of their palace. Believing I had somehow tricked Jimin into loving me, the wolf had no issue calling our bond into question. Apparently, her outdated beliefs ran much deeper than I had originally thought. Either way, she was beginning to make my life all the more difficult. I had enough going on as it was.
“You are the most infuriating woman I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.”
“And you are the sneakiest little weasel I have ever laid eyes on,” Bo hissed.
“You’re both acting like children,” Sol laughed. “Bo, can’t we go now? I promised my husband alone time with his friend.”
With a satisfied smirk, I leaned back in my chair. Bo was not happy with the girl, but Taehyung’s wishes overruled her own. The perks of being the pack alpha, I guess. I did not wait for Bo’s response before standing up. Sol followed me.
“I expect you in your own room tonight, child.”
I did not respond. Sol giggled and grabbed hold of my arm as we left the palace library. If I had come here on my own, I might have admired the massive shelves and the beautiful wood they were made from, but Bo’s presence ruined whatever joy I might have gotten. She was such a pain to deal with. Knowing my foul mood, Sol began babbling about her and Taehyung’s wedding for the third time today.
“Oh, I wish you could have been there,” She pouted. “Taehyung wanted to wait for you to wake up, but all of us decided it would be in his best interest to hurry along. I hope you’re not upset with us.”
That worked and I cracked a smile.
“How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not upset about it.”
Leaning into my side, the younger girl sighed happily. She always got like this when she spoke of Taehyung. He was akin to God in her eyes now and it was a funny sight to see. She was always so stuck up and stressed when I had known her that this new version of her was strange to see. She laughed and joked with others in a way I had never seen before. Taehyung was the perfect match for the Luna, and I was pleased with how happy they both were despite everything going on.
“You’ll have to forgive Ha-Joon,” Sol waved at a small group of maids. “She’s just always pictured her daughter with Jimin, and her death has brought out the worst in her. Don’t take it too personally, okay?”
“Easy for you to say,” I murmured, “She doesn’t hate you.”
The group of maids stopped to bow. I returned the gesture, but Sol did not. She was never raised to respect her help. Tossing a small smile at the women, my eyes caught a familiar face and warmed. Koda grinned happily back at me.
“Oh!” Sol exclaimed suddenly. “Isn’t this the most coincidental situation?”
Stepping away from my side, the wolf gestured to the group. None of them make eye contact with the Luna. None of them even looked at her face. I could not understand how no one thought this was strange behavior, but it was the status quo. Hopefully I could speak with Taehyung about it. I do not think he would approve of this behavior at all.
“I was speaking with Elder Kim, and we decided that you need a servant,” Sol announced. “This group should do. See anyone you like in particular?”
She was completely serious. Not a shred of doubt or shame was written on her face. Sol was raised with this nonchalant way of ordering others around and it was disturbing to see in action. I would definitely speak to Taehyung. However, I could not deny the perks I saw. Looking at Koda, I knew I would be able to keep her safe as long as I kept her by my side. Giving the women a sympathetic look, I turned to Sol with a mask of indifference.
“If you think it’s necessary,” She smiled brightly. “Koda,” I looked at the older woman, “would you like to help me while I stay here?”
The woman walked to the front of the group. The other maids made space and suddenly none of them looked at me either. It was a horrible feeling and I wondered what they thought of me now. Wanting to make my intentions clear, I kept talking.
“Also, Sol,” I looked at my friend, “I don’t like the word 'servant'.’ Can we use something less… harsh? Like ‘companion?’ I don’t plan on staying here for very long so it just seems too,” I moved my hands and tried to find the softest explanation I could think of, “permanent.”
I was choosing my words carefully. Sol has never had her views challenged much and these women had been at her beck and call her entire life, so it was only natural she thought of them a particular way. I wanted to change her mind, but it would have to start with something small. The other maids seemed to relax, and their eyes wandered freely once more. I never wanted them to feel inferior to me.
“Hmm,” She cupped her chin, “I’ve never thought of that before. I like it.”
Turning her gaze to Koda, she grinned, “You will spend every moment at Oxur Park’s side. Under no circumstances will you leave her, understand?”
“Yes, Luna,” She bowed deeply. “Will I sleep in her chambers?”
“No!” I exclaimed. Flushing, I rubbed the back of my neck and bowed my head. “That won’t be necessary. I will be with Alpha Park during the night.”
Sol laughed heartily, “You’re just breaking all of the rules, aren’t you?”
I awkwardly joined her, “Might as well give her a reason for her dislike, don’t you think?”
Sol immediately dismissed the maids, Koda included, so we could continue our walk. Koda would be joining me tonight for my bath. I cringed at the thought and started to think of ways to talk to her about what I was expecting, or rather, not expecting her to do. I could do everything I needed on my own and had for many years of my life. I saw no need for someone else to bathe, dress, or tuck me in at night. Jimin would be the exception, but he was my partner and had seen me more intimately than others.
Sol continued to talk my ears off as we walked through the palace. I was still unnerved by how easily she commanded her maids. It was creepy. I could not picture Taehyung feeling comfortable by their pampering either, but would he ever say something that would offend his wife? It was difficult to say. 
I knew the other alphas had lived in the palace at points in their lives, and from what I had heard, Namjoon was still here full time. Unmated alphas were meant to stay in the palace until they were mated so they could be trained into leaders. Scowling, I thought of Ahn and his thick, white beard and how little help he was to everyone. No one ever spoke of him or his teachings, and Sol did not even seem bothered by her father-figure’s death. It gave me a sick sort of pleasure knowing that no one, possibly not even Bo, thought of him in a good light.
The repairs to the palace were the first to be completed. The elves had focused primarily on the civilian areas, and since the palace was the only place made of stone, the flames that ate away at the wooden homes in the main parts of the village. We had been seeing a great deal of progress in only four days, but there was still much to do. The town’s market was nowhere in sight, and they had only just gotten their water system back up.
“What does Taehyung want to talk about?” I asked. 
Sol had started a childhood story involving Ahn that I had no desire to hear.
“I’m not sure exactly,” She admitted, “He said he was hoping you two could go for a walk and catch up. It’s been a while since you’ve been alone.”
I nodded and pretended to listen as she jumped into another childhood story. Sol was a rather clumsy child. Looking at the dark stone, I felt my resentment growing. No one except for Taehyung had left to help the others. Not Kim nor Bo left their comfortable confines to help their community and yet they had time to talk about my manners and which servant I would get? It all seemed ridiculous to me. Even Sol herself was still living in la-la-land within these walls. Had she even seen what was done?
“You must promise to be our first child’s matrina,” Sol was talking about children. Again. Her unusual sense of pessimism was beginning to agitate me. “You are the only person I can think of I would trust with that honor. 
“Of course, Jungkook will have to be the patrinus, but I don’t think it will bother Jimin too much. He’s far too much like a brother to ask anybody else. Maybe for our second child? Taehyung would be overjoyed if you were both involved.”
I gritted my teeth and simply nodded along with her stories. Yes, a conversation with Taehyung was a must. Maybe he could make her see reason, or at least show concern for everyone else. At meetings she lounged on him like a cat and never paid attention when they spoke about serious matters. It was like her head was permanently up in the clouds. Had she always been so careless when it came down to things, or was this a new development since she joined Taehyung? I would never know the true extent of the answer, but I had to believe this was new. Sol was too serious before to let this kind of behavior out.
The large, cathedral windows let in the bright sun, but it was still so cold and dark in here. The maids had yet to fix the lighting fixtures inside yet, but even the candles they had lit did nothing to help. Our steps had a faint echo to them, and it made the lifelessness of the palace worse. I felt Sol’s hair brushing against my arm as she made herself comfortable at my side and had to stop myself from moving it out of my way. It was tickling my skin uncomfortably.
Sol let her hair out in the palace unlike any place else. The long, thick, black waves cascading down her back effortlessly, but I knew better now. Someone had spent a great deal of time and care perfecting the way it felt and twisted. Around her neck was the material she used to cover her hair and she would put it on if another man showed up here. It was something Ahn had made her do that made no sense to me either, but Sol was happy about it, so I never thought about it much.
“Koda is a wonderful woman,” Sol suddenly gushed, catching my attention. “You’ll like her very, very much.”
“What makes you say that?” I questioned, feigning disinterest.
“Well,” She started, “She was once a warrior before her sister died. She stopped shifting soon after that and moved into the palace so she could have a place to stay. Her sister’s husband kept their house and Koda was too uncomfortable to live there with him alone.
“Oh! I know she’s from out of town, so you can share many stories about that as well. The people from Viridi Gramine always have the most interesting lives. Take Hyuna for example, she’s the princess of her people and yet gave it all up for a life here with Hoseok. Isn’t it romantic?”
I stopped listening to her once again. It was useful information, and my interest only grew for the older woman. If she was from the Foxglove’s cousin pack that meant she would know a route through the Ozryn mountains. Hiding my revelation, I subtly picked up my pace. The sooner I got this meeting over with, the sooner I could find Cadoc. 
“She will be a wonderful companion for you to have,” Sol teased, placing extra emphasis on the chosen word. “I think I’ll start using that one as well. Servant does sound too harsh.”
I smirked in amusement. It was difficult to dislike Sol, especially when it seemed like she was having the most fun she had ever had. I imagined living with someone like Ahn was challenging. Still, her innocence and naivety were so odd when compared to her position in the pack. She was treated like glass that could shatter at any moment while held up as if she were a queen.
We descended down the large staircase in a companionable silence. That was rare for Sol, but I was sure as soon as our feet touched the first floor, she would start her rambling once more. It seemed like luck was on my side, however. Taehyung stood waiting for us, his eyes never leaving Sol’s little body. His happiness was enough to let go of my discomfort for Sol. She would learn in time, and Taehyung would be there to guide her. I would just steer him in the right direction. 
The clothes he wore were much nicer than anything I had ever owned. Navy blue silk contrasted beautifully with his tanned skin while the nearly black pants he wore extended his legs. He wore a pair of simple black boots and a matching belt. It was nice to see him so clean and dressed up. Soon we would not have those luxuries.
“Thanks for bringing her, mi conjunx.”
Sol bit her lip and looked down, “Of course, mi coniunx.”
“Bridd,” Taehyung smiled at me, breaking whatever spell he had been under, “May I take you for a small walk alone? I have something I need to discuss with you.”
“That’s why I’m here,” I squeezed Sol’s shoulder and walked down the last few stairs that separated us. 
It looked like Taehyung was physically pained to leave Sol’s side, but he showed as much restraint as possible. I heard her feet pitter-pattering back up the steps and Taehyung’s shoulders relaxed. They had spoken and it was still a mystery to me how it worked. I would have to ask Jimin about it later.
We stayed silent until we were out of the palace and walking out of Foxglove entirely. He wanted privacy today, so I waited until he was ready to speak to begin my questioning.
“How are you holding up?” Taehyung asked once we were well hidden within the trees.
I sighed. Cordelia’s passing had affected all of us, and Taehyung was beside himself with grief. He had hardly known her, but he was fond of everyone he met at my cottage. I confided in him about finding her body this morning. He stole me away for a few moments to ask my advice on his plans to invite the witches to stay in the palace, and the sea witch was brought up in conversation. I could tell he would make it a point to ask me about my emotional state whenever he got me alone.
“The etiquette classes have me thoroughly distracted,” I replied sadly. 
“And everyone else?”
“About as well as I am,” I muttered. “Wendy is in bad shape, but Seokjin is holding her close. I think they’re back in their confusing situationship again, which saddens me, but I understand. I can only hope it will be different this time.”
In truth, I had little hope. While Wendy may have decided she would choose Seokjin over Yoongi, I was also sure this budding relationship would fizzle out rather quickly. Wendy was once again latching onto the sun witch in a desperate attempt to make herself feel better, and like always, Seokjin would walk through fire to make her smile. I paid close attention to their dynamics, and it was reminiscent of old times. It was not lost on me, her lingering stare at Yoongi’s disabled figure laying on the floor near the fireplace during my short visit yesterday, and it made the pit in my stomach only grow.
Old habits die hard, and Wendy Byrd was too much of a daydreamer to put anything to rest. It made me uncomfortable to witness the same cycle play out once more. It sickened me to know the only reason she was not seeking out Yoongi was the fact that he was getting used to his new reality. One where he could no longer see. Seokjin was as hopelessly hopeful as always and put up those blinders once more. Life in pink so long as Wendy held him close. The front he had put up in my cottage so long ago was forgotten.
“They need to figure it out by themselves,” Taehyung replied. He was always telling me things I knew but I appreciated the sentiment. “I am curious about this sudden need to leave Bangtan.”
As always, Taehyung knew more than he led on. I did not know how he knew of my plans before I spoke to anybody else about them, but I was less surprised than I should have been. Cadoc and I had been completely alone in the forest that night, but if Taehyung was awake when we got back to the palace, he could have easily gotten an earful of whatever we were speaking about. I had learned during our time at my cottage that Taehyung’s sense of hearing was stronger than the other’s while Jimin’s smell and eyesight were almost double of what they should be.
“I should be far more surprised than I am,” I admitted. “You’re always such a nosey little minx, aren’t you?”
Taehyung chuckled with a nod. Nothing got past those eyes. I pondered over what to say to him. He always had a way of taking me by surprise and I knew Cadoc would not be upset with my slip of the tongue. No one would, actually. Looking at my friend, I reminded myself that he was my friend before he was the Alpha everyone else needed him to be. A man who loved to read my mythology books and ask questions about the forest creatures would never dare ask me to stay behind when there were adventures to be seen. I was also aware that he would be afraid of my loyalty. 
Cadoc had said I was becoming blinded by it. Loyal to a fault. Jimin and I were still at odds about my trip, but he had become resigned. We both needed for this to happen. For the sake of our friends and family I needed to try. I had failed once already, and I could not fail again.
“Are you going to talk to me about your secrets now?”
“I’m not staying in Bangtan for much longer,” I whispered, knowing he would be able to hear me just fine. “I have a different task. Something important.”
“I had guessed as much,” He laughed, an easy smile on his face. “Jimin is far too distracted, and the Quietus keep whispering to each other,” He stopped walking and turned towards me. “So, Bridd, where are you going?”
Biting my lip, I hesitated. How angry would he be if I told the truth? Angry was a strong word, I conceded. Taehyung was never angry, but I did not think he would be pleased. I was blatantly placing my own life in danger and lying to my mate about it. It was almost enough to make me rethink my choices.
“I need to find someone,” I said, bracing myself for the disappointment that was sure to make itself known soon. “When I died, I saw my aunt in the spirit realm, and she told me that I had to seek out an elemental called Naida.”
Taehyung frowned at me, his concern evident, but not so much so. He was not disappointed, but I could see fear. I could live with that. I was also afraid for my own life, but dwelling on those thoughts would get me nowhere. I had a mission to complete, and I would not be late this time. I would win. I had to. For my own sanity I would go.
“Is Jimin aware of this?”
I shook my head, “Nothing specific. He knows my plan to leave, but with everything so fresh and new I don’t want to worry him needlessly.”
“You are planning on telling him,” He pushed, “Right?”
I nodded, “The plan is to leave at sunset tomorrow. I’ll have more coverage at night just in case there are elf camps in the forest.”
I thought about the elf camp Jimin stalked that first night and shuttered. There were so many of them out there who had not come into the village. It was baffling to me why they would hesitate in their fighting only to move on so quickly. It gave the wolves too much time to plan and strategize and I knew they were not foolish enough to think they had better odds now. The wolves were on guard. The only thing that made sense were allies hiding in our ranks. Allies who were telling them our every move.
“Tell me something,” I dropped my voice even lower. “If I promise you that I will come back with help, will you keep the truth from the others?”
Stopping in his tracks, Taehyung stared at me. Jimin said the two of them had been speaking of a possible traitor and I would hope my friend would understand my perspective. My loyalty to the both of them was all consuming, my love was my life, and I would do whatever it takes to help them. Even if it meant lying to the man I loved more than life itself.
“I can’t keep something like this from him, Y/N,” Taehyung sighed. “You are my friend, but so is Jimin, and you cannot ask me to pick one over the other.”
“Even with the spy?” I challenged.
He looked through me then, his eyes burning a hole into my face searching for something. I don’t think I would ever know what Taehyung saw in me that day, but whatever it was it gave him pause. I had never felt just how strong or large Taehyung was until that moment. His frame towered over mine, his legs long and lanky, and his face impassive. That impenetrable wall that I found so disconcerting.
“Even then,” He smiled at me. “I would never risk your life or Jimin’s friendship. Even if you begged me to keep quiet, I would let him know the moment you were out of my sight.”
And I could not stop my returning grin. This was what I loved most about the boy, his endless love and compassion for others. He played tricks, told jokes, and made my head hurt from his never ending questions, but he also adored me in ways I had never been before. He adored my brain, my thoughts, and my courage. 
A memory of us in the cottage came back to me then. The sun had just come up and I had just gotten home. My training with Thelma had been brutal that night and I had hardly done anything, and my emotions were growing, expanding, and becoming harder to manage. Jimin was still asleep, his pale skin beautiful in the sun, and I did not want to disturb his peace.
When I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, I found Taehyung already up and a book in his lap. We had our typical small talk, a morning just like any other, but once I sat down at the dining table, I found him just watching me. The book was long gone, his face hard, and his eyes observing me. Those eyes that took in everything they possibly could. I wondered then if he knew what I was doing, where I was going, and why. Instead of answering those questions, Taehyung pushed his growing hair out of his eyes and beamed at me.
“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how thankful I am that you’re letting me stay here,” He said.
Tired and worn, I brushed him off like I always had. I was never the one for compliments and did not know what to say, especially with my guilt eating me alive. Taehyung ignored whatever poor attempts I had made to make him stop talking.
“Thank you,” He bowed his head. “I will never forget your kindness or strength. Hell, even your anger! You’re the first person I’d ever seen make Namjoon lose his cool.”
I ignored him and sipped on my tea. I don’t even think I looked at him again. I drank my tea, listened, and hoped Jimin would not wake up. I wanted to sleep in his arms for a while. It made the nightmares more bearable.
“I know you don’t really like this kind of thing,” Taehyung continued to babble. “I know you’re uncomfortable because of the way your hands tremble and your breathing changes. I’m sorry you don’t feel like you deserve my praise, but I want to give it to you anyway.”
“Why?” I rasped, looking out of the large window beside me.
It was the same window a white wolf had come to and asked for help.
“Because you’re hurting right now, and I want you to know it’ll be okay. No matter what happens you will always be my friend, and Jimin will always love you.”
Looking around me now, it was difficult to imagine a more beautiful sight. It had been so long since I last saw the trees in the sun, and it took my breath away. The heat and warmth were never far away but still felt foreign on my skin. It was still as quiet as a mouse out here, but I basked in its beauty regardless. Taehyung’s teeth were blinding, and I needed to squint.
“We’ll always be friends, right?” I asked.
He held up a pinky, “Always.”
I wrapped my finger around his and sighed.
Diving into the story once again, I told Taehyung why I had been distraught during those last few weeks. His reaction, much like the rest of him, was completely different from both Cadoc and Jimin’s. Even the witches had nothing on Taehyung, because as soon as I was finished, Taehyung hugged me and told me he loved me.
“What?” I choked.
“You were so afraid,” He patted the top of my head and pulled away. “You worked so hard for my family and friends. Thank you.”
“But-but,” I spluttered, “I messed up. I didn’t say anything. I got all of those poor people killed. My own friend-”
“But you tried so hard,” Taehyung soothed. “You wore yourself out learning those spells, you spent every single night trying to get better, and kept it all bottled up. How could I be mad at you for that?”
“Because I let you down,” I muttered. “I let everyone down.”
“No, you didn’t,” He chuckled. “When it counted you were there. You killed yourself, quite literally, mind you, for all of us without knowing it would work. You fought by our sides and gave up a life in the spirit world. You gave up your best friend.”
Bringing Shiloh up tugged on my heart strings. I missed her so much. I knew I would see her again someday, but I hoped she got her wish in the end. She deserved to be beautiful and dance in the sunlight like she always wanted. Sword fights and cooking were two things she dreamed of, and I knew she would be amazing at both if given the chance. I could only hope her hair would be as brightly colored as she imagined even when her human mind forgot all about our adventures. She would even forget about me. 
“And after it all you’re still you.”
Looking up at Taehyung, another facet of his personality made itself known to me. On top of his naive, golden-hearted mischief, Taehyung was also a wiseman. Aldara had spoken of his grandmother before, and I could see that that trait was passed onto her eldest grandchild. 
“But I still did a bad thing,” I whispered, my voice thick. “And I want to make sure I do everything I can possibly do to make this easier on us. I need all of you to live, Tae. I couldn’t bare it if anyone else died.”
“And we need you to live, too, Bridd,” He replied gently.
I said nothing. I knew that was the truth, but we obviously had different ideas about what was important. My own life meant very little to me after the fight with the elf. Hell, my life had meant little to me the night I found the cottage on fire, but I understood where Taehyung was coming from. I was his friend and he wanted to make sure I was alright. Thinking of Jimin, I knew my life meant even more to him. Still, I held onto my own ideas and that included keeping all of them as far away from harm’s way as possible.
He smiled sadly, “Who are you bringing?”
I sighed, “I haven’t made a decision yet. I don’t want to place anybody at risk or leave you unprotected in case I don’t make it back in time,” I did not voice my concerns for not returning at all. “Cadoc thinks Samanya should be with me, but she’s so fierce I’d rather be here to watch over Jimin.”
“Koda is a wonderful option,” Taehyung suggested after a beat. “She was a warrior in Viridi Gramine and served with the copiae for many years. She would be helpful for getting you to Ozryn and the Quietus would be extra security.”
I could not say the plan was bad, it was far too good, but that was the problem. Koda was an older woman now who could no longer change as far as I knew. She would be slow, and I would have to work twice as hard keeping her out of harm's way. I would have better luck going alone with Sam and finding our own way. 
“Then again,” The alpha sucked his teeth, “Koda is rather old. Perhaps Jungkook? No, he’s a boy and too childish.”
The ‘prince’ as Ahn dubbed him was always ready for a fight and light on his feet. He reminded me of Taehyung and Hoseok wrapped up into one young man, but I had my doubts on his ability to follow instructions. Anytime I had seen Jungkook he was either in trouble or on his way into it. So, for my own sanity in the coming weeks, I would agree with Taehyung.
“What about Hoseok?” Taehyung snapped his fingers. “Oh! He would be a perfect choice.”
I nodded along with him knowing I would never ask the alpha to come with me. He and Hyuna were a package deal and that was too many to take along. If I was taking Samanya then I would only bring one other, and I doubted his mate would allow him to go regardless. He almost died a few days ago and was still on bed rest at their home. 
“It’s too bad he’s resting,” I threw out knowing it would rule him out entirely. “I should just take Samanya and the two of us can figure it out together.”
“There’s always Namjoon.”
I shook my head vigorously.
“Absolutely not.”
I had made peace with the wolf during the fight, and I was certain our fight in my meadow was long forgotten. It did not mean I wanted to shack up with the alpha. He had proven to me his fickle nature and inability to make a decision on his own. He would be easily swayed, and I did not respect him for it. The thought of traveling with him made my head hurt.
“So stubborn,” Taehyung teased. “Fine. I’ll leave it alone.”
“Thank you.”
“Now,” He grinned, “Care to go gather some of those books I like so much? I think they’ll be a nice way to decompress during the night.”
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Walking through the streets, I was pleased by the progress everyone had made rebuilding. The market was still destroyed, but so many homes and businesses on the southside were almost completely finished. The north, were the copiae lived, would be the last place rebuilt. Elder Kim had said the children needed a place to go and the few homes that stood were not enough to house them all. Bo, in her typical fashion, was upset by this but held her tongue. 
She never wanted to disrespect a man. The thought made me roll my eyes.
Spotting Namjoon, I was pleased to see him and Taehyung working together. The younger alpha’s family home had been destroyed, all of them having to stay in the palace’s already crowded towers, but his mother was going stir crazy. Catching my gaze, Namjoon offered me a small, hesitant wave. I responded with a polite smile and continued walking. Taehyung was none the wiser. 
I was greeted many times, all of them kind, and I tried to stop and help however I could. My magic was still weaker than I would like, and I had not had any time to flex my abilities since the attack. Today, I was hoping to change that. 
“Would you like for me to help you with that?” I asked an elderly couple struggling to lift leftover roof tiles from their recent repairs.
“That would be lovely, Oxur Park,” The man replied, his voice gruff. “Just put them in that wheelbarrow. We’re giving the rest to Alpha Taehyung’s family.”
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and attempted to focus. I was lucky the pieces were in a fairly neat pile and would be simple to move so long as I concentrated. A bead of sweat formed on my eyebrow. Lifting my hands, I mumbled under my breath.
“Flotian,” Cracking an eye open, the pile lifted effortlessly.
As quickly as possible, I brought the tiles to the wheelbarrow. Panting now, I knew I needed to flex my muscles a bit more. I was out of shape, and it was showing. With a loud clang, the tiles were ready to be pushed to Taehyung’s.
“Need a hand?”
Dropping my stance, I wiped my forehead and looked at Namjoon. He looked as weary as he had a few moments before, but this time I gave him a real smile. He returned it awkwardly. Whatever had happened during the battle had worn off, his confidence in helping me was replaced by the tongue-twisted man who had stood in my living room begging for forgiveness. Like so many, I owed him an apology as well. Gesturing at the wheelbarrow, I nodded. 
“Thank you,” The old woman gushed. “God bless you both!”
Embarrassed, I ducked my head and bowed to the couple. Getting busy with the task, I pointed out a few loose pieces that would not fit in the wheelbarrow. Namjoon gathered them and handed them to my outstretched hands. Taking hold of the heavy, blue metal, the alpha began pushing. I used magic and the leftover tiles floated, following us back down the road.
“Taehyung tells me you are traveling to Viridi Gramine soon.”
I was not expecting small talk, but I was even more taken aback by the lie. The boy was quicker than I thought. The fib would make my disappearance easier to swallow without leading the spies on my trail. It did, however, pose an issue for their neighbors. If the elves believed the wolves to be ready for an attack out East, they may choose to invade sooner.
“Yes,” I lied easily, the word falling off my tongue with such conviction I was almost convinced myself. “I leave in a few days.”
“Would you like an extra set of hands?” He asked. “I know you and I have been on differing sides as of late, but I would like for that to change. I do respect you immensely.”
I smiled sadly. After speaking so ill of the man earlier today he was ready to drop everything to help me. Even if it was to make amends, I acknowledged how unpleasant being away would be. If I were less prideful, I may have accepted his proposal. As it stands, my pride was the only thing I still had to hold on.
“I owe you an apology,” I replied. “I was not fair to you. I let my anger blind me. It seems that’s all I’m good for these days.”
I thought of Jimin and his gentle caresses. I did not deserve his kindness. With the rumors spreading he was bound to hear of Taehyung’s lie. He would have a few choice words for me, that I was sure, but I knew we would work through it if I was given a chance to explain myself. He trusted me enough to allow me that. At least, I hoped he did.
“Regardless,” I sighed, “I’m sorry. I was out of line. I hope you can forgive me.”
“I have never been known to hold grudges for very long,” The man replied. 
“Still, I will have to decline the offer,” I threw the tiles on the ground. We were at the edge of Taehyung’s property and the young alpha was hard at work. With barely more than a small wave, Taehyung greeted us. Sparing Namjoon a tight-lipped smile, I continued. “I want as many people in Bangtan as possible. I’m traveling with a small group of quietus.”
Namjoon nodded, his long hair falling out of its loose ponytail. 
“Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
“I’m sure I won’t.”
With that, I bid both alphas goodbye and turned back around. 
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Standing in front of Jimin’s home was a short, pear-shaped woman. Her salt and pepper hair falling messily around her shoulders, thick bangs boxing in her already squared face. Tanned and beginning to show signs of her aging, her eyes crinkled happily at their corners as I approached. Her dress was tighter than it should have been, almost indecent in comparison to the other women around, but her large hips made it difficult to sew around. Her body would be considered provocative by the men, but the sight of it only made me feel inferior. 
I had not realized Jimin’s mother was so beautiful.
“Y/N,” She greeted me happily, her voice soft and sugary sweet.
I bowed, covering my chest with a hand, and closed my eyes. I needed only a second to regroup myself. I had not been prepared to meet my fiance’s mother today. Especially without him by my side. Mi-Jeong radiated positive energy and her smile was infectious. I hoped I looked as happy as she did, but I only felt myself growing more overwhelmed.
“Good afternoon, Mrs.Park,” I winced at how breathless I sounded. I cleared my throat. “How are you?”
“I’m well,” She winked. I did not know why. “You’re just in time for lunch.”
Ushering me inside, I was relieved to hear Jin’s loud voice booming over all of the others. Yoongi was no longer on the living room floor, and Wendy’s gentle laugh mixed with the others. Elated, I quickly took off my shoes and made my way into the kitchen. Mi-Jeong followed behind me, her little feet pitter-pattering against the wooden floors.
The little house was in perfect condition and the smell of fresh paint hung in the air. Spotting Callisto and Hyun-Jin, I smiled at the paint staining their clothes. At least we were all trying to make the most of our horrible situation. Enver was the first to spot me and a huge, face-splitting smile broke out across his little face.
“Bridd!” He cried; his excitement palpable. 
A streak of baby blue paint stuck to his cheek, but I did not care. The boy ran to give me a hug and I felt the wet paint soak through my dress. Greeted with loud, obnoxious cheers, I waved the others off and let go of my young friend. Yoongi looked around and I was sad to see he was still disabled. I had a feeling that would be a part of his life now. I hoped it would one day fade, but I was not sure the magic elves used to cause such damage.
“You have to try this,” Wendy moaned, pushing a large plate of noodles my way. 
The noodles were thick and covered in a thick, chunky, black sauce. They smelled heavenly. Wendy passed over her pair of chopsticks and gestured at the plate once more. Her mouth was still filled. Picking up a large mouthful, I slurped.
They were delicious. So savory and salty it made my eyes close in content. The noise of content I made was involuntary and I quickly went in for another bite. The plate was pulled away from me and I scowled. Yoona raised an eyebrow at me.
“Is there meat in this?” I asked.
“Pork,” Callisto replied, chewing on a large plate of vegetable noodles.
My stomach turned uncomfortably, and I was suddenly less enthusiastic. They were so delicious; I was almost angry about the pork’s presence. Still, I watched Yoongi bite down on a piece of fried fish and felt less guilty. These were trying times and beggars could not be chooser. I grabbed the bowl back, took another large bite, before Yoona pulled back her way.
“There’s plenty of food. You don’t get to hog all of the Jajangmyeon.”
Someone tapped my shoulder. Mi-Jeong smiled at me, and it reminded me so much of Jimin’s I paused. Holding up a pair of clean chopsticks, she chuckled. I handed Wendy back the borrowed sticks and took my own. Seemingly satisfied, the little woman elbowed her way into the circle and began to grab the dishes she wanted for herself.
The dining table was far too big for all of us to sit at and it seemed everyone chose to stand. Yoongi and Tae-Jin, who had been discharged from the infirmary this morning, were the only two who sat. Mi-Jeong moved Enver out of her way and sat. I could see Wendy placing food on Yoongi’s plate and frowned.
I would have a talk with her about that at some point. I did not have the time or patience to deal with any of that right now. Jin noticed where I was looking and turned. With a deep sigh, he shook his head, but ignored it. It was probably for the best. A couple’s quarrel would cause a huge uproar within the families. 
“Good to see you walking around, Mr.Kim,” I greeted Jin’s father.
“Nice to see you, too, kid.”
Passing around bowls and plates, I listened to the conversations around me. Jin and Wendy helped Jimin’s family with the construction repairs, and Mi-Jeong let Enver pick out the new colors for the walls. She had taken a very big liking to the boy. Thelma and the other women were taking a break from helping a family a few houses down but were planning on getting back to work as soon as they were finished eating.
“I was able to get Mannix this morning,” Jin threw my way. “Poor boy was shaking and so scared. He fell asleep in Callisto’s bed.”
I frowned. August, Yoongi’s cat, rubbed against my legs and I guessed he had gone for both of them. Hopefully the two of them will feel better soon. They had been left alone for quite a while. Wendy started talking about the witches from Syrena. Apparently, her coven was planning on coming out to the village to help. That brightened my mood. At least, in my absence, others will be around to help.
Callisto and Mi-Jeong soon left the room taking Thelma and Tae-Jin in tow. They were going to figure out a way to fix some of the loose floorboards in my future sister-in-law’s room. The circle around the table started to dissipate leaving only Yoongi, Jin, Wendy, and Ji-Hyun behind. The three of my friends were all jokingly loudly with one another as I took Mi-Jeong’s seat.
“So, Viridi Gramine?” Ji-Hyun’s eyes were telling, and I knew from the arch of his brow he did not believe Taehyung for a second. “Are you sure you can trust a Quietus to take care of you?”
The wolf was relaxed, his face and body language giving nothing away. Crouched beside my chair we would look like we were having a normal conversation, but he could not keep the malice out of his tone. Sinking into the chair, I turned my body towards his and hoped I could remain neutral. I did not want to fight with Jimin’s brother, but I refused to be intimidated.
I cleared my throat, “I’m sure we will be just fine.”
I did not have the heart to tell him I had yet to make any real decisions. That this entire trip was going to be a convoluted road of impulsive decisions. That I was going to be in more danger than anyone else could ever know. Ji-Hyun’s icy glare told me I did not need to say a word. He already knew what I was doing. His eyes were far more unnerving than Taehyung’s.
“Well,” He spoke softly, careful to keep the others from overhearing, “We can all hope you change your mind. Seeing you hurt would be heartbreaking for my brother. He barely survived it the last time.”
I had to commend the boy; he was very good at laying on the guilt. A thick cloud of shame wrapped itself around my body and it took effort to keep my expression neutral. Again, as it had been for days now, my anger bubbled to the surface. I could not remember being this angry in many, many years. I thought back to Namjoon and the incident in my front yard and looked away. 
I was lying to myself. Lying horribly. If I said I could not remember the last time I was able to relax then that would be more truthful. Anxiety and anger were a part of who I was, but I did a wonderful job at hiding it behind snarky comments and isolation. I had never been around so many people for this long and hiding these facets of my personality were growing harder and harder. Soon it would be impossible. This trip could be a blessing in disguise. Once again, I wanted to go off on my own. I knew I was lonely- it was companionship that I was working out.
I thought of Shiloh and sighed heavily. At least she knew when to give me my space. No one else seemed to understand my needs the same way. It was to be expected. She had been with me since I was a young child and never once thought about going away. When the others moved on with their lives after Aldara’s death, when they left me to destroy myself after I burned my bridges, there was Shiloh and her kindness. The singular light in my life for as long as I could remember- the only shine coming close being Yoongi. Now I was alone again and did not know when they would leave. This time, my closest ally was dealing with his own problems and would not have time for mine.
“I’ll be back soon.”
“We’ll see.”
It clicked then. Ji-Hyun believed I was fleeing.
“You may have everyone else fooled,” His voice was so soft, so low, I was positive we were the only two who could understand a word he said. “But know this- if you ever hurt my brother again, I will not be so forgiving. Taehyung is a fool to let you do this. I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could throw you.”
Smirking at my distress, Ji-Hyun pushed his hair out of his face.
“You’re abandoning us,” He cocked his head to the side and gave me a scathing once over. “Jimin would be a fool to think overwise. You will always be a coward. I mean, you let my friends die without blinking an eye, what’s the rest of them?”
Disgusted, I stood and placed my chopsticks in the kitchen sink before stalking back outside. I did not need to put up with his bullshit on top of everything else I was handling. He should feel lucky I walked away. Violent images of striking the boy with fire filled my head followed by ripping his head off the way I had the elf’s.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I used all of my willpower to push my murderous thoughts to the deepest corners of my mind. Again, I was losing control. Stepping out front, I took a breath of fresh air and made every attempt to calm my racing heart. Instead of calm, however, I became even angrier. Because right in front of me was none other than Jimin, the love of my life, looking at me as if I were a perfect stranger.
“Leaving already?” He asked, eyes narrowed.
Great, just great, now he was mad at me as well. My already shaky control was spiraling. I felt my skin heating and my breathing picked back up. I was going to explode if he did not stop. I bit my lip and took a nice, deep breath. His scent did little to calm me. In fact, a small spike in anxiety only made my fists clench. 
“I’m going for a walk,” I managed to get out, my voice far lighter than I was expecting. Jimin’s face darkened. “I didn’t realize it was taboo. Is walking illegal now?”
My sarcasm was not aiding either one of us right now. Whatever the reason for his anger, I should not be egging him on. Yet, I could not stop it. Trembling, I closed the front door and took a few more steps outside. Jimin did not move. I did not want to get any closer to him.
“Why is Taehyung lying to everyone?” He demanded, voice low and husky.
“Ask him yourself,” I snapped, already fed up with everyone and their conclusions.
“Are you lying to me?”
Scoffing, I shoved our shoulders as I passed him. He gave me a low, warning growl and turned to face me. Whatever voice that usually told me to bite my tongue was not around. It must have realized I would not listen. Looking up at him, I struggled to figure out how I really felt. Angry? Sad? Disappointed?
Looking into his eyes, I realized I was hurt. And that was a recipe for disaster. Steeling, I shook my head and looked at my feet. I had forgotten my shoes in my haste to get out of there.
“I told you we would speak, didn’t I?” I challenged. “How is that lying to you? Have you no faith in me at all?”
His pained expression told me everything that I needed to know.
“Of course,” I pulled away from him as if I had been burned. “Why would you anyway? It is me after all.”
“Amica-”
“No,” I threw my hands up. “I’ll see you later.”
I needed time to cool off and get my head back on. We had yet to argue, and I knew I would soon devolve into insults and petty jabs. I walked away without looking back, ignoring him calling out for me. He didn’t understand. They never understand.
I should have known he could never forgive me.
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Koda stood beside my bedroom door, a large towel in one hand and a small pile of cloth in the other. Her thin clothes would have done little to help me in the cold hallways, but I doubted she felt the draft. She gave me a gentle smile as I approached which I returned. It seemed she would be adhering to Sol’s request from this morning.
“What time will you be leaving tonight?” She asked, handing me the towel.
“After I bathe,” I replied. “I will shift and leave through the broken window downstairs.”
Koda chuckled breathily. We were both keeping our voices down. Neither one of us wanted our conversation to be overheard by prying ears. I knew Bo was listening, but her chambers were on the opposite side of the palace. Even if she tried her best, I doubted she would be able to hear us- unless she was lurking around corners. I would not put it past her.
“That’s been repaired,” Koda sniffed the air, paused, and continued to walk. “I’ve broken the latches on your bedroom window, so you should be able to leave easily tonight.”
After my bath, Koda left me to dress myself and walk back to my room. She was trying to respect my privacy as much as possible, but I knew it was difficult for her to watch me do what she perceived as her job. I would never get used to someone else washing my hair- it was strange. She did, however, put her foot down about drying my hair properly. 
“You will get sick, Y/N,” She scolded me gently, her fingers already in my hair.
She took great care and time drying the strands. She never pulled too hard or placed too much pressure on my scalp. After drying it completely, she ran oils and products through it that smell heavily of rose. I tried to convince her to let me go earlier, pleading that I needed to see Jimin, but she refused to budge. Koda was stubborn when she wanted to be.
By the time I left, it was long past midnight, and I was certain that Jimin would already be in bed. Before I could make it to him, Cadoc was floating beside me and told me we needed to speak. Tonight, we would talk about the trip and who I would be bringing. Tomorrow I will be leaving. It only served to make me all the more restless. Tonight, would be our last night and I wanted to get as much time in as I could. Even if it started with an argument, I was hopeful we could end it entangled in his bed.
“What?” I snapped, landing on the ground.
Shifting back, I stood in the destroyed market in nothing but the thin, cotton gown Koda gave me. The air was far more bothersome as a human than a bird and I rubbed my arms. Cadoc smiled apologetically and raised his arms in surrender. 
“We will be quick, okay?”
I grit my teeth and nod.
“Have you made a decision yet?” He asked.
“I will go with Sam,” I conceited, hoping this conversation would be over soon.
“She will be pleased to hear that,” Cadoc grinned. “Lorcan will deliver everything you need to take with you tonight. Look over it as much as you can tomorrow, and Sam will meet up with you at your cottage.”
“Thank you.”
Cadoc shook his head, “No thanks needed.”
My skin itched to walk away from him. I wanted to see Jimin, but I knew this was an important conversation. Trying my best to stay pleasant, I nodded and forced a smile on my face. From Cadoc’s amused expression, I failed miserably. Bidding me a goodnight, Cadoc vanished into the wind leaving me alone once more. 
Jimin was pacing when I walked into his small home. His hair was let loose, the silver strands frizzed and wild, but beautiful, nonetheless. Our fight this afternoon was still bothering him, and when I closed the front door, his head snapped in my direction. Worrying his bottom lip, I could see blood pooling where he had bitten off his skin. Eyes turning into slits, Jimin’s glare was murderous.
“So, you’re planning on getting yourself killed?”
The question hung in the tense air. Whatever hopes I had for this being a good night were dashed away. Cocking his head to the side, Jimin waited for me to speak but I could not find the words to say. He knew and I was at a loss. Taehyung must have said something in the fear that I really would take the cowardly route. 
“Nothing to say?” Jimin pushed, seething. “You had plenty to say at my mother’s. Come on then, tell me.”
I scowled. His bad attitude was understandable, but it did little to soften my increasingly hurt feelings. That anger from earlier was rearing its ugly head. I had plans to tell him tonight and I was angry at Taehyung for going behind my back. Squaring my shoulders, I sighed loudly.
“I doubt you’d listen to me anyway,” My voice was cold and hard. Far harder than I intended for it to be. “You’ve already seemed to have your mind made up about things.”
Scoffing, Jimin marched towards me with a purpose. Standing my ground, I tried my best to dispel my growing anger with little success. My newfound temperament would only make this situation worse but when our chests pressed together and Jimin looked every bit the alpha he was, I did not care. I wanted to scream and fight, bite and scratch, maybe then I could feel myself relax. Maybe all of my anger was a buildup of pressure that I desperately needed to get rid of. 
“Why is it that I have to hear about this plan of yours from Sol of all people?” He demanded. 
Of course, Taehyung would have spoken to his mate about our conversation. I was foolish to believe anything between us would remain a secret. Now, Sol’s face flashed through my mind and my resent bubbled over. Who the hell was she to tell Jimin anything? 
“Why are you taking her word over mine?” I challenged, my teeth gritted.
“Stop answering my questions with questions!” Jimin shouted, walking away from me. “I believe Sol more than anybody. More than you. At least one of you has never kept anything from me.”
That was a low blow and we both knew it. Instead of remorse, the flash of guilt that came across his face soon morphed into indifference. He almost seemed proud of the insult. I refused to cry, the angry sting in my eyes only adding fuel to my already raging fire, and I swallowed thickly. Two can play this game but if he was more concerned about winning then I would gladly let him insult me alone. Taking a step back, I prepared to leave for the night. 
“For what it’s worth,” I looked at my feet, “I really am sorry.”
“Stop apologizing to me,” Jimin snapped, his voice so harsh and critical it made me cower. “You’ve done nothing but apologize for days. What else can you do?”
I knew he was just upset and hurt by my plans, our fight only making this one that much worse. I knew he would never say something like that to me under normal circumstances. I knew he would feel awful for his choice of words once he had the chance to cool off. Yet, the hurt and anger spread through my chest and infected every part of my body. He was right, I could not offer him anything but apologies. I knew it was too good to be true. Spiraling once more, I did not realize I was crying until the tears ran down my neck and tickled me.
“Don’t apologize when you’re going to keep doing this shit,” He spat, each word laced with venom. He was only a few feet away from me and I had never felt further away from him. “Apologize when you decide to change. Apologize when you realize I don’t need a martyr- I need someone who won’t lie and keep things from me.”
“I skewed up, alright?” I finally responded, “But I never once lied to you.”
“Yes-”
“No,” I cut him off, my blood boiling. “I did not lie. I told you I was leaving, that it would be difficult, and I told you I would tell you when I knew more.”
“But you were thinking of lying to me till the end!” He screamed.
“I admit that,” I shot right back, my voice growing louder. “I would do anything if it meant you were safe- even if that meant lying to you.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you!”
“Morologus es!”
The silence was so very loud then. Bottom lip wobbling, I took yet another step back. Whatever comeback I could have thought of fell short. Jimin’s conviction was astonishing, and his doubt felt like a punch in the gut. I needed to get out of here. I could hardly breathe, and his scent was becoming suffocating.
“Stop using me as an excuse,” His onslaught continued. “Just admit you want to be the hero. You can’t just be happy with me- no! You have to be the Bridd who runs, and jumps, and begs for the slightest bit of danger if it means she can be the victor! Even when it means getting an entire village killed!”
His words felt like a slap in the face. Was that the reason he thought I wanted to go? It had never even crossed my mind, but the confidence he held made me doubt myself. Wiping my face, I shouted obscenities and tried to catch my breath. I knew he blamed me. It was all my fault. All of this was my fault. Jimin completely ignored me and stood a few feet away, his words like knives, and his gaze like stone.
“This-” He gestured between the two of us, “-Whatever you think you may feel for me is wrong. You don’t love me. This is not love. Running towards your death to redeem yourself is not loving me.”
“Sorry doesn’t fix everything,” He murmured, the edge finally beginning to soften.
“Did you say something to your brother?” I demanded.
“Wh-what?” He spluttered.
I laughed humorlessly, “Cut the shit, Jimin. Whatever you’ve said about me has obviously affected his view of me, or was calling me murderer some one-off occurrence? Somehow, I have a hard time believing he’s come to that conclusion all on his own.”
“Ji-Hyun would never say something like that,” He hissed, his breath heavy. “Why would I speak badly about you behind your back? Unlike you, I’m an upfront person.”
My anger flared once more, and I could slowly see the corners of my vision distorting. As badly as I wanted to end this fight and make up, I knew that would not be possible. Not now. Not ever. Again, he was calling me a liar. Again, I would have to fight this uphill battle to prove myself. Again, I was losing a game I never knew I was playing in the first place.
Cadoc had been wrong. Love was never given freely. Nothing in this life was. Jimin would always need for me to prove myself to him. I would have to fight, bite, scream, and scratch if I wanted to show him that I care. Why I ever hoped it would be different was foolish on my part. 
“Are you so angry at me that you’re dragging my brother into this?” He shouted.
I scoffed, “There you go again, treating me as if I am some kind of irrational monster. So, I ask you again, do you really think that little of me?”
Jimin said nothing. Frustrated and tired, I finally had enough. I could smell ash and smoke all around me, and I knew I was about to find myself back at my cottage. Cordelia’s face was in my mind, Aldara’s arm hanging out of the wolf’s mouth, and I knew I needed to leave. Numb and slowly dissociating, I sniffled.
“Fine.”
“What?” He had the nerve to look abashed.
Hand on the front doorknob, I shook my head in defeat. It was over. Jimin was rejecting my love and whatever else I had to offer him. He did not believe in me at all. Somehow that hurt me more than the rejection. His faith had always been constant, his love tender and warm, and that was gone now, too. I had nothing. I was nothing. I deserved whatever I had coming to me. Finally, I had gotten my wish. Finally, he was shouting.
“I didn’t mean to ruin your life,” Devoid of emotion, I sniffled. “I know I made a mistake, but I’m trying my best. Doesn’t that matter?” My voice tapered off towards the end.
Jimin said nothing. I turned the knob and was back outside. I stopped waiting for him to stop me once I could no longer see his home. My feet felt like they weighed twenty pounds each and dragged along the dirt road beneath my feet. I needed to get back home. I chuckled humorlessly when I realized I no longer had one.
I truly gave up on him coming to gather me in his arms once the palace came into view. It was eerily quiet tonight and I wanted to go get lost. I wanted to forget. I wanted to leave. 
The thought occurred to me so quickly, so easily, that it made me smile. Yes, I would leave tonight. It was better this way. I would no longer be a burden to this place and the others could live peacefully without me. Even if I died, I doubted it would matter. Nothing I had ever done worked out anyway. It would be nothing new.
Shifting, I scaled the walls and flew into my bedroom. Just as Cadoc said there were countless items at my disposal all wrapped up and ready to go. I would have plenty of time to look over them tomorrow morning. I would sleep in Moland tonight, hopefully not getting too lost, and try to ask for directions once I reached civilization. It was better than hurting anybody else. It was better than getting any more blood on my hands.
At least I could remain the hero. 
I cried in pain. I could not believe he thought so lowly of me. No wonder he refused to touch me, I probably disgusted him to no end, and he was hateful that we were bound to one another. Something told me I should stop packing, stop moving, and to breathe, but I ignored it. I did not care what it had to say. 
Throwing a few spare changes of clothes, paper, and a few spell books, I knew I needed to change out of the frilly nightgown Koda had changed me into. Throwing on an old, loose shirt, I looked around for my trousers when I stumbled across Aldara’s journals. I had yet to open them since I came here. Running my fingers over the spines, I made the split decision to take them with me. I would need her company to keep me sane.
Finally, I came to a stop as I caught sight of my jewelry box. I had Heidi’s ring on my left hand and Griselda’s on my right, but they felt far too empty. Opening the lid, the cool ceramic felt heavier than normal in my hands. It took a few minutes of digging before I found Aldara’s ring and slipped on my right hand. The bird’s head encased my entire index finger, but I did not care. I would be taking this ring. I found my own a moment later, a chain wrapped around the band.
Pulling it out, I secured it around my neck and looked down. I gasped. There shining and glittering under the candlelight was Taehyung’s necklace. The carnelian had been marginally larger than the tip of my thumb, perfectly rounded, and it’s red coloring deep and beautiful. I could see the faint, dark marbling within it, but the lights made it hard to capture its beauty. Spiraling around the stone was a thin wire of steel that ended with a small loop. I thought Taehyung would like something simple, so I finished it off with a long piece of dark cord that I carefully braided. It was beautiful.
My anger dissipated at the sight of it. I had spent days working on that necklace hoping I would not break the stone. I completed it a few days before the present ceremony, but when everything went to shit, I had completely forgotten about it. I placed it on the desk and sighed. 
Thick, hot tears ran down my cheeks as I cried. I had such high hopes for everyone. If I could turn back time I would, why could nobody see that? Why was Taehyung the only person I believed when he said he would love me regardless? Bitter, I wiped my face roughly and went back to packing.
He was the only one who meant it, that’s why.
Reaching into my back, I pulled out a single sheet of paper and prepared my ink. I would have to leave something for him at least. No need to worry the people who cared for me. Even Jimin. I can’t forgive myself, but I could forgive him. Maybe when I come back, we could work things out.
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Taehyung,
Do you remember this? It feels like a lifetime ago. I hope you like it. I wish I could have made a matching one for Sol, but maybe that would have been too perfect. When I get back, I will make sure I have one waiting for her neck. The two of you deserve it. Even if I am angry with your wife, I know I will get over that soon enough.
Tell the others how sorry I am for this impromptu banishment. I fear I have made a real mess of things lately and I don’t know how to make it better. No one believes in me, no one thinks I’m capable, and I can’t figure out what it is they mean by it? Am I not strong enough or is it because it does not matter? I’m sorry if this is confusing. Tonight, has been too much for me. No- today has been too much. The last ten years have been too much.
I haven’t had my head on right in a very long time, Tae. So, I beg of you to forgive me. I promise you that no one had a part in my decision to leave like this. It’s all my own doing. I can only hope I make it back in time to tell you how much you mean to me. How much all of you mean to me. 
Tell Yoongi that I will miss him more than I miss breathing. Tell Jin his laughter will be something I think about to keep me going. Tell Wendy how much I’m going to miss her hugs and will yearn for them every day. I need my witches to know that I adore every single one of them and will do whatever it takes to keep them out of harm’s way. Thank Thelma for me. Let Enver know how proud I am and that the blue looks nice.
Lastly, let Jimin know I love him more than anything else in this life. Even my own. That will never change, even when he is frustrated and angry at the world. I promise I will try my best to come back home in one piece. I promise, as the Gods look down upon me, that I will do everything in my power to bring help back. I don’t care where I have to go or what I have to do. I will not come back empty handed this time.
Be careful. The elves are not known for their mercy.
With all my love,
Y/N
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Slipping on my pants, snatching a pair of earrings Yoongi gifted me for my birthday a few years ago, and lacing up pair of boots, I slung the bag over my back and enchanted my things to flex and change as I did. Afterwards, I shifted and flew out of the window. I did not look down or wait for somebody to find me. Tomorrow morning, they would wake and the cause of all their misery would be gone. I would fight tooth and nail if it meant I had a better chance of getting help to these people. Aldara had never led me astray before.
I wished I could have told Jimin that.
Broken hearted and lost, I flew above the trees and watched the world I know leave me behind. Flying would get me somewhere, but the elves would grow suspicious of a raven wearing a backpack. Soaring, Thelma’s small boat home cut through the trees and I knew I would have some place to rest my head tonight.
I wished Jimin could have been here with me.
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Translations:
Matrina - Godmother
Patrinus - Godfather
Mi conjunx - My wife (Addressing)
Mi coniunx - My husband (Addressing)
Morologus es! - You’re talking like a moron!
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I know I’m a jerk for this...please don’t be mad at me. It’ll get better... eventually.
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