#this session was so funny cause i started with joel and so i was like what on earths all the hype about hes doing FINE for once

[daily-smallishbeans]

203-

kiss of death

[ceratedfish24]

I just saw someone say that Scott has a hard time saying that he loves his teammates. I- have you watched Scott? Scott “‘We don’t need [ender]pearls, we already have the best Pearl’ right to Pearl’s face” Major? Scott “saying ‘I love you’ isn’t going to be a hard task for me cause that’s normal behavior for me” Major? Scott ‘“‘the sweetheart’ as deemed by Skizz, Impulse, and Grian” Major? Scott “‘I love you, say it back’” Major?????????? Scott the most loving person on the server other than maybe Skizz?????????????

“Scott is manipulative. He makes himself look good to protect his teammates.” “Manipulative” implies that Scott is lying. Scott stays true to his word. He’s one of the most earnest people on the server. If he isn’t going to defend someone, he tells them that he’s not going to defend them. If he says he’s going to do something for you, he’s going to get it done, which is why a lot of people value him as an ally. It might blow your mind, but Scott’s openness and honesty is what makes people trust him.

“Scott makes himself look strong.” Scott is strong. He wiped the floor with Impulse. He has escaped being chased so many times. He succeeded at a legendary and remarkably underrated bucket clutch. You think Scar’s bucket clutch was good? It was, but he was expecting to fall and onto flat land. Scott was knocked off of a tower onto a hillside. Nobody talks about that. He’s really good at PvP, and people know that. Additionally, Scott has never made himself look strong. He’s a very passive person. He doesn’t like starting fights. Bdubs is terrified of Scott, and Scott has only ever tried to be friendly to Bdubs. Bdubs just knows Scott’s reputation. Martyn is scared of Scott. Martyn has fought Scott first hand and won, and yet he did not want to make an enemy of Scott after Limited Life. Skizz picks a direct fight with a LOT of people, but he never picks a direct fight with Scott. He knows way too well how that fight’s going to go. Skizz will take on Lizzie and Scar and Tango, but he’ll never target Scott if he can avoid it. Scott knows that he’s strong. His MCC rankings are pretty solid proof. You can’t fault him for having genuine confidence in his PvP skills but not actually wanting to fight if he can avoid it. If he loses, that sucks. If he wins, he’s angered a team.

You’re calling him “manipulative” because his enemies are afraid of him and his allies trust him. That is what happens when an honest person is powerful. Most people who have had any experience with Scott know that Scott is not someone to mess with. After fighting Scott in Limited Life and being on his team in Secret Life, Impulse got WAY bolder on Scott’s team, because he trusts Scott to have his back, and Scott does have Impulse’s back. He’s constantly apologizing for Impulse and was very upset when he was asked to keep a trap secret from Impulse. Scott works so hard to be honest in a game where honesty is not always rewarded, and he does not deserve to be slandered like this, especially when nobody else is being treated like this.

Scott never makes himself out to be anything other than what he is. Lying doesn’t go well for him. He is just a guy trying to keep the fighting away from his teammates, and lying isn’t the best way to prevent that when so many people in this game are so clever or so quick to assume you’re lying anyway. Social games don’t have to be about control. Social games can be about building a reputation of integrity by having integrity.

This excludes Joel because Joel is too close to Scott in real life and will attack him because it’s funny to see your friend get irritated with you.

You know who will never say “I love you” in the life series?? Grian.

You know who was “manipulative” last session? Pearl knew there was a trap, promised not to tell her teammates, knew that Scott knew about the trap, and told him “why are we whispering? why are we crouching? there’s nothing there. you’re being paranoid”. Nobody says ANYTHING about that.

You know who likes to look strong? Bdubs, Jimmy, Ren, Impulse, and Skizz. Those are the ones who make themselves out to be bigger than they are, which is a normal strategy in a competitive situation. Bdubs loves to be LOUD and aggressive. Jimmy loves to puff his chest up and make threats, but he backs off the moment someone hits him back. Ren loves to take the lead (3rd Life, Double Life, and now Wild Life). Impulse loves to get aggressive and petty, and his confidence is often his end. Skizz LOVES to be overly aggressive once he’s allowed to kill, but he’s really bad at backing people into enough of a corner to keep them in a fight. Scott is quiet, because he doesn’t like the attention. Scott likes being distanced from the other Wild Life teams, because he likes being out of the way, but he went with the others anyway.

[yourlocalmerchgirl]

Hopeful

Soft! Jackson Joel Miller x Neurodivergant/ ADHD F!reader

Summary: Joel hasn't felt hopeful since before the outbreak, that is before he meets you when he arrives in Jackson. Hes falling for you, but you couldn't possible fee the same way, could you?

Soft! Jackson Joel miller x Neurodivergant\ ADHD reader AU

MDNI 18+ NSFW

Warnings: unspecified age gap (i wrote this with reader in her early 30s and Joel in is early 50s but no ages are specifically said) soft Joel, concerned Joel, protective Joel, Neurodivergant, audio overstimulation, anxiety. He falls first. Match maker Ellie. Smut. Oral (F! receiving) Fingering, heavy make out sessions. Joel's chatty. body imagine issues, low self-esteem. Swearing, dirty talk. Praise.

A/N: Man this story really got away from me! what i thought would be a short story turned out to be rather length but im proud as hell of this story and i hope you enjoy!

There’s not a lot of descriptors about reader other than eye color and mentions of curves/ plush but they can easily be changed.

Hopeful.

Hopeful wasn’t something Joel felt since before the outbreak. But when he met you, it started brewing slow and low just below the surface until he couldn’t deny it anymore, couldn’t push it away any longer. You made him feel hopeful.

“Dude if you stare much longer the whole town is gonna notice.” Ellie teases as she jabs Joel with her elbow.

“Oh stop it, I wasn’t staring”

“You’ve been looking at her for like 10 minutes, just go sit with her”

Joel turns away quickly feeling his face getting red. He thought he was doing a better job of keeping his fondness for you hidden. He figured there was no way you’d share the same feelings, why would you like a guy like him? Old, beat up, and someone the whole town talked about. He figured there just wasn’t any way.

“She don’t want me bothering her” Joel shrugs

“Im not lying when I say she asks about you when you haven’t been to the stables yet.”

A slight smile tugs at Joel’s lips, he always asks Ellie about you too.

“Go sit with her”Ellie nudges him

Joel let’s out a nervous sigh and makes his way over to your table.

You’re fully engrossed in your book that you don’t notice Joel standing there for a moment.

“Is this seat taken darlin’?”

You don’t even have to look to know it’s Joel, you’d know his voice anywhere.

You chuckle, looking up at him with that smile and those big beautiful hazel eyes he loved so much.

“What’s funny?”

“Unless Ellie and Dina are sitting with me, that seats never taken”

Joel frowns at your comment.

“You want some company? It ok if I sit?”

“I’d love some” you say trying not too seem to eager but your bursting with butterflies over Joel wanting to sit with you. Your smile happens automatically, like it always does with Joel.

You’d been fond of Joel since him and Ellie arrived in Jackson. Despite all the whispers about him in town, his presence always calmed you in a way nobody ever had, you couldn’t explain it even if you tried. You absolutely adored Ellie from the moment you met her, Joel always telling you she trusts you in a way he’s never seen before.

The two of you fall into comfortable small talk as you both finish breakfast.

“Didn’t see you at the town dance last night”

“That’s because I didn’t go, you went?”

“Well Ellie and Dina wanted to go cause they’re always reading about dances in the diaries they find, so I went too. Plus Ellie’s always teasin’ me that I need to get out more”

“I don’t normally go to stuff like that, I’m too awkward and I don’t want people asking me to dance because they feel bad.”

“Now I’m sure there would be lots of people who’d like to dance with you” Joel has all he can do not to tell you he’d show up to dance with you everytime if he knew you’d be there.

“That’s really kind of you to say, but incase you haven’t noticed the people here don’t really know how to take me.”

“You headin to the stables?” Joel already knows the answer. He knows it’s not your day to work at the stables but he asks anyways because he doesn’t want the conversation to end.

“ No, today I’m working on getting the little town library set up, now that you and Tommy are finished building the shelves, I’d like to open it soon.”

“Y’need any help? I’m off my normal duties today”

“Oh no, it’s ok. You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to bother you on your free time”

“It’s really no trouble at all, I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to help” Joel’s jokes, smiling at you.

Your laugh.

He’d give anything to hear your laugh over and over again.

“And I guess I wouldn’t accept if I didn’t want help and company” you teased back, trying to stifle the giggle that bubbles up.

She wants company, my company?

The two you you load up the first wagon full of books and wheel across the center of town to the little store front soon to be the The Jackson Town Library.

“Here we can unload them. Then I can keep making the trips back and forth with the cart while you set them up in the shelves”

“Sounds like a deal to me. Why don’t we make like 3-4 trips and stop for the day. Because if not we’re both the type of people to work on our whole day off.”

“You got yourself a deal sweetheart”

Joel can’t help but smile as he turns to make the second trip. There was just something about the way you made him feel at ease, that he couldn’t get over.

When Joel returned with the second load of books he found you and Ellie chatting as she was helping you.

“What was it like to have a birthday party and sleepovers?” Ellie asks you.

“What makes you ask that?” You ask chuckling a little.

“Well I’ve been reading about them in the people from before the outbreaks diaries but I never had either of them”

“They were fun for a lot of people, I um didn’t really have a lot of friends, so my birthday parties were always mostly family. And I only ever went to a few sleep overs. I was always so excited to be included when I got to go to them.”

It breaks Joel’s heart listening to you and Ellie talking. It wasn’t fair that Ellie never got to experience what life was like before the outbreak, never really getting a childhood. Hearing you talking about how hard and lonely your life was even as a child tore him up. You were different sure, but you had a heart of gold. You were so caring, always supporting everyone who needed something and all you wanted was love and care in return.

He wanted to be that person for you so badly, the one who made your heart soar with all the love and support you never had. To be the one to make you laugh on the good days and take you into his arms and take the pain away on the bad days.

He’s not sure exactly when he started to fall for you, but it was coming on faster and stronger by the day.

“My birthday is next weekend, could I have a birthday party?”

You looked up locking eyes with Joel

“Of course you can, we can throw you a birthday party Ellie” you smile at him as you answer.

We. She wants to help me throw a birthday party for Ellie? There’s no bounds to how wonderful and caring this woman is.

“ I of course want to invite you, Dina, Jesse, Ethan, uncle Tommy and Maria. Ooo can I have a sleep over?”

“No boys are sleeping over”

You can’t help but laugh at Joel’s abrupt response.

“Eww no of course not, but Dina and (y/n) could stay over couldn’t they?”

“ yes if they want to they are more then welcome”

“Oh this is awesome, I gotta go tell everyone!”

“Wait, shouldn’t you ask if (y/n) wants too?” Joel’s looking at you to gage your reaction

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world”

Ellie smiles wildly as she runs out of the store front.

——————————————————————

The day came for Ellie’s party, and you loaded up your wagon with all the supplies and headed over there early to help set up.

“Jesus you’ve got a lot of stuff, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble”

“I know but I really wanted to make this as special as I could for her. She deserves to have the experiences she never got too”

Your big heart made Joel’s soar, you were so kind and thoughtful.

“ I do have a big surprise for her, for all the kids really”

“Oh yea? What do you have up your sleeve?” Joel teases.

“So I went through some boxes that had been in the house in one of the closets. I never bothered to before because it’s not like I really have a lot of stuff so they weren’t in the way. But I wanted to see if there was anything I could use for Ellie’s party and man I hit the jackpot”

Joel just smirks and raises a eyebrow signaling you to continue.

“Well one I found another Will Livingston pun book, which she’s going to love and I found a Nintendo console with a bunch of game cartridges. I figured we could teach the kids how to play and then Ellie can keep it”

There it is again, we. Maybe I’m reading into this to much. But I can’t help but feel like she actually likes spending time with me.

“Shit, they’re all going to love it! Man I haven’t played with one of these in ages”

“Me either, I was never any good at them and the sounds drove me crazy”

Joel relished moments like this, when you pulled back the curtain you shielded yourself with and let him see you.

You sat there completely content and full of joy watching Joel teach the kids how to play each game before he joined you on the couch as they went crazy battling each other.

As the kids cheer and the Mario music blasts Joel looks over to see you struggling. Your eyes shut tightly, chest rising and falling quicker than normal

“Hey, want to have a drink in the kitchen?” Joel whispers as he places his hand lightly on your arm.

“Please” you whisper, embarrassed that Joel saw you like that.

You sit at the kitchen table while Joel takes out two glasses with ice and pours whiskey doubles into them.

“Everything alright darlin’?” Joel ask as he takes his seat sliding your glass over to you.

“Oh..yea..everything’s alright” you say staring down at the amber liquid. Embarrassment flooding your system.

“I ain’t gonna push you if you don’t want to talk and I know I probably ain’t your first choice of someone to talk to, but just know you can talk to me.”

Joel desperately wants to know about your struggles, what makes you the way you are. He wants to be the one that helps you through life, the one who makes the bad days good and the good days better. But he pushes aside the thoughts that you’d want to be more than just friends, if you even considered him that. Because after all why would a girl like you like someone like him, could he really be that lucky?

You think about your answer for a few beats, and realize there’s no use trying to lie to Joel. There was just something about Joel that was comforting, that made you feel safe, but in a different way than the way you felt with Tommy you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

“No its not at all like that. I like talking to you.” You don’t miss the way Joel’s eyes light up a little.

“It’s just….I usually just retreat into myself, it’s easier that way. Most people don’t want to hear about my weird issues that can’t be solved with a why don’t you just ignore it?, why can’t you just change? Can’t you be a little less weird?” You said with a defeated shrug.

You wanted to talk to Joel, but part of you hoped he would just change the subject and move on. Because your quiet sure he doesn’t actually want to hear about your ADHD and all the weird idiosyncrasies that came with it.

“Well I’m not most people” he drawled as he lightly touched your arm. Nodding his head to encourage you to continue.

Truthfully he wanted to hear anything you wanted to tell him, Joel wanted to be your comfort point, the person that you went to for anything. To be the person you felt the safest with, to let your tired shoulders relax from holding up that wall around yourself. Letting your true self shine, free from judgement and surrounded by the love you deserve.

“I have sensory issues, especially with audio and textures. It’s hard to explain and it’s been along time since anyone wanted me too, so bare with me because some of this isn’t going to make a whole lot of sense.”

“You take all the time you need sweetheart, there no rush or pressure. I’m here for you”

Joel can’t help but notice your eyes soften and body langue relax a little when you realize he’s got you, that he’s hear for you and truly listening.

“I get overwhelmed easily by a lot of sounds happening at once, like in there with the sounds of the game and all the yelling and cheering at the same time makes my brain feel scrambled up. Like I can’t sort any of it out, it just sounds like one big mixing bowl of sounds. And when that happens I get anxious, my heart starts to pound, my ears ring and sometimes I lash out coming off to aggressive in the moment to try and make it stop.”

“ you’ve been around enough at the stables, you’ve probably heard me come on a little to strong with a razor sharpe tongue when it all gets to much. I always feel so bad, I never mean to snap. But sometimes when it’s so overwhelming it’s like I have no control of my tongue and I just blurt it out before I even realize I’m saying anything.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Ask me anything you’d like and I’ll do my best to answer”

“I don’t want this to come out wrong, I’m realizing now this might sound a little weird. But I’ve noticed you fuss with your clothes, like your pulling them away from your skin constantly, is-is that part of the sensitivity?”

You can’t help but look at Joel for a few beats to long, stunned by his question. Not because of the way he worded it but because of the context of his question, that fact that he’s picked up on your discomfort and is curious about it instead of just asking why you can’t just deal with it like everyone else ever has.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean t’make you uncomfortable” Joel says taking your silence as a bad sign.

“No, you didn’t at all. I just got lost in the thought of you being so observant but always wanting to know.”

“I always want to ask if your alright but I never want to pry, I know you like your space”

You can’t help the smile that dances across your face.

“You can ask me anything Joel, if I’m not comfortable answering I’d tell you.”

“But yes, the clothing thing is part of it. The texture of some fabrics against me make me want to crawl out of my skin. It’s hard sometimes for me to fall asleep too because the way the blankets and sheets touch my skin doesn’t feel right. I know it’s weird, I can’t really explain it.”

“It’s not just with clothing or fabric either, it’s physical touch too, which is the worst to get people to understand. I hate being touched, the feeling of most people touching me makes my skin crawl. And they love to brush it off by being like oh well I’m a huggy person or oh I’m just a touchy person so it’s ok.”

“I’m sorry, I know Ellie hugs you all the time and I know I touched you earlier”

“See now this is the most frustrating and complicated part about this. There are people like you, Ellie and Tommy that are in my bubble that I’m comfortable with, that I trust, that that kind of contact is welcome from.”

She likes when I touch her? Am I a welcome presence for her? I’ll drive myself crazy thinking about this too hard, but maybe just maybe she’s trying to tell me she feels the same as I do?

“Then the flip side of it is that there are also sounds that bring me so much comfort, like songs that I could listen to on repeat without batting an eye. The sound of someone’s voice that brings me back to earth when the anxiety is unrelenting. A scent that soothes me beyond explanation.”

Joel can’t help but let his thoughts run wild, indulging in the thought that you might be talking about him. He’s about to ask about your comment when Ellie barges into the kitchen.

“Oh sorry to interrupt” she says when she realizes you two are deep in conversation.

“Oh no it’s ok, you probably just saved me from really embarrassing myself” you chuckle

Joel doesn’t miss the way you stiffen up, as if you feel like you’ve said to much.

“ I’m ready to watch my birthday movie but I’m also really ready for the guys to leave so it’s just the four of us, could you kick them out?”

“ course I can do that, we’ll be right in”

You quickly get up from the table to follow after Ellie.

“Hang on, sweetheart” Joel says softly as he reaches for your arm.

“Can-can I give you a hug? Or rather would you like a hug?”

You can feel the embarrassment really take hold as you pull your eyes to the floor. He had no idea how much you wanted a hug from him and you had no idea how badly he wanted to hug you.

“I would like that” you said meekly as you nod your head. If Joel wasn’t listening intently, hanging on your every word he would of missed it

He takes a few steps closer to you hesitating for a couple beats before he wraps his arms you.

As if you’d been waiting for this moment, your entire body relaxes under his touch. Joel can’t help but notice they way you bury your head into his chest as you wrap your arms around him tighter. The way you stay there in his arms for longer than he expects, like your completely at ease in this moment.

“Thank you….thank you for listening. For letting me talk.” You whisper

“Thank for trusting me, for letting me in” he whispers back.

——————————————————————

It had been a few months since Ellie’s birthday party and Joel couldn’t help but boil over with happiness at seeing more of you. You started coming around often and listening to him play guitar on the porch after your walks with Ellie. You started joining them for family meals more in the mess hall, though Joel couldn’t tell you he called them that- not yet anyway.

Because honestly he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to decide he wasn’t the type of person you wanted to spend alot of time with. It’s why he didn’t press you on wether or not you were coming to his birthday gathering at the tipsy bison tonight that Tommy was putting together. He didn’t want you to feel pressured.

You slip into the dimly lit tipsy bison about 45 minutes before Joel’s party is supposed to end. You were so nervous to come, that it took alot for you to actually leave the house. You realize as you slip into a table in the dark back corner that you also forgot his present at home too.

Somethings seriously wrong with me when I remember to bring my security book and not this man’s damn present.

You scan the room and see Joel and Tommy talking to a few people at the bar. Nervous about interrupting you open up your book and try to block out all the loud chatter.

Joel scans the small crowd hoping to see you when he over hears Caleb talking to Tommy.

“Why would she come to something like this if she’s not going to speak to anyone?”

Joel follows Caleb’s motion, feeling a tugging in his chest when he lays eyes on you. You’re sitting in the dark corner of the Tipsy Bison hunched over your book, rubbing your finger back and forth on the cover. Something Joel picked up on that you do when your anxious as a way to sooth yourself.

“Sorry we can’t all be rays of fucking sunshine like you” Joel hears Ellie snap back as he’s making his way over to you.

The closer he gets to you the more his heart pounds. When was the last time I ever felt like this if ever. Joel doesn’t know when it started happening but he can’t fight it any longer, he’s falling for you hard and fast like a fright train. You consume his every thought, which terrifies the hell out of him but he can’t turn back now, not even if he tried.

“Hey there sweetheart, you came” for one fleeting moment Joel feels nervous, maybe you don’t want to be bothered because after all you didn’t even tell him you were here. But that all melts away the moment you look at him. The smile that touches your eyes, the shimmer of happiness that dances across your face.

“Hey!”

“It ok to join you?”

“Of course, I’d love that. As long as I’m not taking your time away from anyone else?”

“There isn’t one person in here I’d rather talk to”

The way you beam up at him as you quickly but your book back in you’re bag says it all. This is another sign of yours that Joel’s picked up on, you only do this when you’re comfortable and want to talk to someone. You always do this when you see him, he trys so hard not to read into that but at this point it’s impossible.

The two of you sit and talk for a bit. You can’t help but be consumed by all things Joel when you were around him, and you loved that. The way he looked at you like you were the only other person in the world or the way he made you feel when ever he was near was both to much snd not enough. Your feelings for him charging full steam ahead, there’s no way you’d stop them even if you had the option.

But could he really feel the same?

“Well I should go I don’t want to take you away from your friends to long”

“Oh, let me walk you home”

“No no it’s ok, I’ll be alright, it’s your party” you say frowning, not wanted to inconvenience him in any way.

“Sweetheart…I can promise you most these people ain’t here for me”

You pause for a few beats

“Ok, in that case I’d love that” unable to control the sincere wild smile that dances across your lips at the thought of Joel Miller walking you home.

“Um ah- would you like to come in for a minute? I ah have a gift for you but I forgot it when I left for your party” you smile sheepishly up at Joel as you reach your little house.

“You have a gift for me?”

“Yea…I made you a birthday present”

Joel follows you inside your house, and instantly the scent of you is filling his senses. He watches as your disappear down the hall and into a room, unsure if he can follow you mixed with not wanting to scare you has him staying in the kitchen.

“Here it’s not much, but I wanted to do something” you say nervously handing him the small gift wrapped in a scrap piece of fabric.

You lean back against the counter as Joel takes the gift, unwrapping the corded string holding the fabric around the gift like wrapping paper.

You’re overcome with anxiety watching him, making it near impossible to look at him. What if he doesn’t like it? What if it’s to much? Joel doesn’t miss the way your fidgeting around nervously.

As Joel pulls back the last fold of fabric he reveals a smallish leather bound note book. As he turns it over in his hands the light catches right for him to notice stitched into the cover in a slightly different colored string than the leather is his name.

“You made this for me? Christ it must of taken forever” Joel asks as he runs this fingers over the the letters.

“D-do you like it? I hope it’s not to much?” You say sheepishly, retreating into yourself as your wrap your arms around yourself.

“No no, it ain’t like that. I love it, I’m just surprised you took the time to make something for me of all people.”

“It took me about two months to do, because I worked on it when I had the energy after rounds at the stables. But I wanted to do something special for you, because.. well because your special to me. When I heard you saying your note book for your patrol and maintenance notes was almost full I got the idea to make this without knowing how to go about it”

“Nobody’s ever done anything like this more me before. Is it ok if I give you a hug sweetheart?”

When Joel takes you into his arms he expects you to be tense before you relax like the few times before,but not this time. No this time was different, this time you melted under his touch immediately burying your face in his chest. He can’t help but think maybe you’ve been needing his touch, his comfort as much as he needs yours.

You feel him pull back from the hug, making you painfully aware you held on to him for a few beats to long. You’re anxiety takes over as you pull back, you’re gaze dropping to the floor immediately.

“Sorry. Sorry, I made that weird”

“Give yourself some credit sweetheart, you never make anything weird. I just wanted to look at you, that’s all”

Pulling your gaze back up, your met with his beautiful deep brown eyes. They’re filled with a soft tenderness as he reaches up caressing the curve of your cheek.

Joel’s large warm hand comes to cup the side of your face, smoothing his calloused thumb back and forth over your cheek bone. His heart thunders in his chest when you lean into his touch, looking more free than he’s ever seen you. Almost as if you’re letting him see a glimpse of yourself from before the world fell apart. He also sees a lightness in your body language that he only notices when the two of you are together.

His eyes flicker between your lips and your eyes a few times, trying to search for any fear or discomfort.

Fuck it.

Your eyes flutter closed as Joel’s lips connect with yours in a soft and tender kiss. Your mind in desperately trying to process everything as Joel takes your stillness as hesitation and pulls away at the exact moment you brain catches up.

“Sorry I misre-“

“Wait, Do it again” you whisper

Joel grabs both sides of your face as he lowers himself back down connecting with your soft lips again. Only this time you don’t hesitate, you return the kiss as you bring your hands to loop round his neck, your fingers sinking into the hair at the nape of his neck. Joel skims his hands down your sides resting them on your hips, a action that makes you gasp as you tilt you’re head up.

“Is this ok?” He whispers as he pulls back enough to rest his forehead against yours.

“Yes” you whisper back, running your fingers deeper into his dark graying hair. This action unlocks something deep inside Joel as he hooks his one hand around your lower back and the other around the back of your head pulling you closer to him. When you resume kissing it’s more passionate and frantic than before and as Joel licks along the seam of your bottom lip begging for entrance you tilt your head up immediately allowing him to deepen the kiss. As your warm wet tongues dance together the grip you two have on each other tightens. Neither of you wanting to show the other how terrified you both are of the other slipping through your fingers if you not holding on for dear life.

As you both pull back to catch your breath you can’t help the giggle that escapes you.

“I guess it’s safe to say you liked your present?”

“It’s safe to say I like more than just the present sweetheart”

He can’t possibly be saying what I think he’s saying can he?”

“I’d invite you to watch a movie but I moved the only tv into the bedroom because it helps me sleep alone and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable”

What I wouldn’t give to spend every night next to her. I never want her to feel alone.

“I’d be more than comfortable with that but only if you are”

Christ I could get lost in the big hazel eyes of hers.

“I honestly would love that” youre trying to hide your smile not wanting to come off too eager but it’s impossible.

You lead the way to your bedroom, once inside you gesture to the bed, “you can pick the movie and make your yourself comfortable I’ll be right back.”

You beeline it for the bathroom, splashing some water on your face and looking at yourself in the mirror. You take a few deep breaths trying to tamp down the anxiety.

Did I really just invite Joel Miller to watch a movie with me in my bed and he accepted? When did I get so bold?

Making your way back to the bedroom you see Joel sitting up with his back against the wall with the few pillows against the wall next to him.

The way your smiling at him makes him feel like it’s just you and him in this world, I feeling that nobody has ever given him before.

“Why don’t you have any pillows you rest your back on?” You say as you settle in next to him.

“I just want to make sure your comfortable, I’ll be fine”

You laugh, that beautiful laugh Joel has come to love so much.

“Well I certainly don’t need all of these, you should be comfortable too” you say as you hand him a couple.

Joel absolutely melts at this action. It speaks volumes to him that your advocating for his comfort as well as your own without even thinking about it or being asked too.

As he’s settling back against the pillows Joel notices you rolling one of your shoulders back as it’s it’s bothering you.

“You alright sweetheart? I’ve been noticing you rolling youre shoulder a lot this week, it botherin’ you?”

“Oh yea… it’s fine, I just tweaked it at the stables. Shimmers stables doors been sticking and the saddles are a little high for me sometimes, but it’s fine. I just gotta go easy on it for a bit”

Joel feels a wave of concern mixed with anger, but not with you with himself.

I should of asked sooner, she shouldn’t be getting hurt at work because of something I could of helped fixed. I need to go down there and fix something.

“ let me take a look at it sweetheart”

You’re embarrassed, your sure he thinks your the biggest idiot as you turn facing your back to him.

“Where does it hurt?”

“It hurts kind of along my shoulder blade”

Joel starts feeling along your shoulder blade applying light pressure.

“Ugh right in there” you quietly groan

“It’s a little swollen, maybe a pinched nerve…I could rub it, try to work it out for y’ou if you’d be comfortable with that.”

“Wait…really?”

“Please don’t feel like you have too, it’s ok”

“It’s no trouble sweetheart”

Joel helps you settle back between his legs as he slips his hand into the neck of your shirt messaging his thumb along your shoulder.

Joel doesn’t miss the relaxed sigh you breath out as your eyes get heavy and you slowly fall back until your back is completely flush again his chest, your head on his shoulder.

He wraps his arms around you tightly, looking down to see you completely asleep in his arms. He leans down softy placing a kiss on your forehead. Warmth slowly creeps up his spine, over his shoulders and deep into his chest. This is what safety feels like, you- are what safety feels like. Joel doesn’t have to have his walls up with you. He can relax, let his guard down, not have to be in a constant state of fight or flight around you. The more Joel let’s this realization consume him, the heavier his eyes get and before he can stop it he starts dozing off.

He snaps awake 10 minutes later to the feeling of you squirming in his arms followed by the sounds of mumbles and whimpers in your sleep. You cry out briefly before you roll over, clutching him with your head buried in the crook of his and your chest flush against his own. Joel can feel your heart pounding against his chest.

“Shhhh baby girl it’s ok, I got you. You’re with me. Your safe” Joel speaks softly rubbing his hands up and down your back.

The moment you hear his voices, the tension drains from your body and your cry’s stop as you fully relax against him.

“Don’t leave me please…I need you ” you’re soft voice speaks against his neck

Joel holds you tightly, unable to shake the memory of you telling him that someone’s voice was soothing to you, that it made you at ease when ever you heard it. He’s 100% confident that you were talking about him.

“Im not goin’ anywhere sweetheart” Joel says as he squeezes you tighter and kisses the crown of your head.

Your so incredibly raw and vulnerable in the moment as you look up at him, your eyes swirling with comfort mixed with fear as you sleepily sit up.

——————————————————————

The next time Joel opens his eyes it’s early morning, your curled up to him, your head on his chest. He can’t help but think he won the lottery. The idea that a women like you would take comfort in him, that you’d want him by you’re side. Joel will make it his mission to make sure you never feel alone again, that he’s by your side for the rest of your life. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve you in his life because he sure as hell didn’t feel like he deserved it.

Joel’s pulled from his thoughts by you sleepily stretch and sitting up. His hand is firmly on your lower back keeping you steady.

“You sleep ok?” He asks slipping his hand under your shirt to rub your lower back.

“I don’t think I’ve slept that deeply since before the outbreak, I’ve never really been a good sleeper”

Christ she’s so beautiful first thing in the morning, givin’ me that cute sleepy smile as she tells me how she slept well next to me.

“Where you able to sleep?”

I can’t tell her I slept better than I have In 20 something years.

“I did get some sleep”

“You hungry? We could go grab Ellie and get breakfast in the mess hall”

Ellie. Fuck I have no idea if any of this is ok with Ellie. I can’t do this to her. I don’t want to drive a wedge between her and Joel or her and I. She’s been though enough I don’t want her to think I’m trying to break up there family.

“ Oh, no it’s ok. You go a head I’m sure you and Ellie have stuff to do today” you say as you you stiffen to sit up straight, the feeling of panic crashing in like a wave.

“No it’s no trouble at all, she should just be over Dina’s anyway” Joel feels your body going ridged, he can tell by your eyes that somethings changing.

“ I have so much to do at the library still before it can open, I’m really not hungry. I’ll just grab something before breakfast ends.” You say swinging your legs over the side of the bed and hurriedly looking for clean clothes.

Joel feels it, he sees it your body langue that somethings wrong. He doesn’t know what flipped the switch but he’s desperate to fix it.

“You should take it easy on your shoulder, rest it so it don’t get worse”

Your body relaxes, your eyes softening briefly at him being protective, showing concern for your health before going ridged again.

“I promise I’ll go easy on my shoulder, I just desperately need to get some projects done. Everyone’s counting on me to get it done and open soon.” Your voice sounds strained and pleading like your trying to convince yourself and much as you are him that you believe what your saying.

“Can I at-least walk you there?”

The walk into town was quiet, neither of you saying much. Just the silent sound of you both battling your own inner self doubt.

“You sure you don’t want breakfast?”

“I’m sure….I’m not very hungry” your voice is soft and strained, almost as if your trying to hold back tears.

Joel cups your face pulling your gaze up to meet his.

“You let me know if you need anything sweetheart, can’t have you hurtin’ your shoulder worse.” Joel drawls before leaning in, closing the gap and placing a soft kiss to your lips. You return the kiss briefly as you run your fingers over his patchy beard.

“I promise I’ll go easy on myself”

Joel can’t shake the feeling that somethings wrong. You never skip breakfast because you get very hangry if you don’t eat in the morning.

Did I scare her? Did I move to fast? Did I make her uncomfortable in some way?

It hits Joel like a ton of bricks as he turn onto his street.

Ellie. She’s worried about how Ellie will feel about us. She’s worried it will drive a wedge between her and I or with them.

Joel stops up the steps and frantically grabs his tool bag.

“Your to old to be staying out all night and then doing a terrible job sneaking back in the next morning” Ellie teases behind Joel.

“I gotta do some extra work in the work shop and at the stables but when your done with your green house shift, we need to talk”

Joel’s never had a way with words like most people, he’s never been eloquent speaker. His love language more came in the form of acts of severance or in words of affirmation. He spends the next few hours building a safe sturdy step stool for the saddles, fixing not just Shimmers stable door but all the horses stables doors so none of them had the possibility to stick and tinkering around and fixing up anything he could find.

You stay at the library for several hours trying completely the simplest tasks, but without much success. Your just going through the motions as your mind is a mile away, thinking about Joel.

Resigning to the fact that you were getting nothing done, you decided to go home to take a hot shower to sooth your racing mind.

As the hot water streams over your body and the steam fills your lungs your mind drifts to Joel. You haven’t stopped thinking about how you can still feel his lips on yours. How he makes you feel seen and heard without any judgement what so ever.

Youre heart aches from how deep your feelings for Joel go, even if it feels like you don’t deserve having him in your life. But you need to apologize to him for how abruptly you retreated back into yourself when the feelings felt to real this morning.

Joel’s nursing a glass of whisky when Ellie gets back from her shift at the green house.

“What’s up Joel, everything alright?”

“Yea, nothin’ bad I just, I like someone and wanna talk about it”

“Oh congrats, your getting soft in your old age. Did you finally become friends with your horse”

“Jerk, no I like a woman. I like a woman, I wanna date her. But are you ok with that?”

“Your so bad at this, why are you being so awkward?”

“We’ll Christ, I’ve never done this before, had this kind of talk. I never brought anyone around Sarah. I don’t know what I’m doing”

“Wait… is this about Y/N?”

Joel nods cautiously

“Man you really are dense aren’t you?” Ellie playfully pokes.

“What’s so funny?”

“Joel.. I’ve been trying to set you up with her since we got here. Tommy’s been helping too”

“What? Really? You’re ok with it?”

“You guys are perfect for each other, it’s so obvious you two really care about each other, at least it is too me because I get to spend time with you guys together away from everyone else.”

Joel just stairs at her stunned

“Look I never wanted to admit this because it sounds stupid, but the times when it’s just you, me and her…it’s feels like we’re a family, like I actually have the family I’ve been dying to have my whole life. She got to know us and excepted us the way we are without listening to all the whispers around town and I think that’s fucking beautiful.”

“I gotta go see her”

“I swear to god Joel don’t fuck this up, she’s the happiness we both deserve, but yes, go to her, go right now”

Joels out of the house and down the street before his brain catches up.

Your scrambling around the house trying to get dressed as fast as you can before you get to anxious and decide not to go to Joel’s when you hear a knock at the door.

“The book drop off box is on the porch” you yell down the hall, figuring someone was trying to pick up or drop off books they borrowed since you weren’t at the library. But you hear who ever is is knock again.

“The book pick up is also on the porch” you yell again hoping the person hears you and gets the point,but they do it yet again. Completely flustered at this point you rip your shirt down over you head and pad angrily to the door.

“The book drop off and pick…” you aggressively swing the door open, stoping dead in your tracks at who’s on the other side.

“Joel” you whisper in surprise. All you can do is stare for a few beats to long at how the evening light highlights his already beautiful features.

“Sorry, this a bad time sweetheart?”

“No…sorry I just thought you were someone else”

You immediately pick up on his change In body langue and quickly follow up with “I just thought it was someone trying to pick up or drop off books” you watch as he relaxes right away again.

“I…I um was actually on my way over to your place”

Before either if you know it your smashing together in a kiss like two magnet’s. The kiss is all teeth and tongues, it’s desperate and awkward, messy and beautiful. Your both clutching on to each other like the other might fly away as Joel walks you backwards through the door way as he pushing the door closed with his foot.

As you both pull back for air Joel cradles your face with his large hands, caressing your cheek bones with the rough pads of his thumbs. His deep brown eyes lock with you hazel ones ands it’s as if they rest of the world doesn’t exist, like it’s only the two of you left on earth.

“I’m so sorry about this morning, I wasn’t trying to be weird. I-I I just…I scared myself with everything”

“It’s ok sweetheart” Joel says as he kisses you softly.

“I talked to Ellie, she’s ok with us being a thing. Honestly quiet excited about it”

You’re speechless for a moment, as you eyes start to well with tears.

“Joel, you didn’t have to do that, I’m sorry if you felt like you had too”

“I did have too, because it’s important to me”

“It’s…it’s important to me that you did”

At hearing that Joel lunges forward again capturing your lips in a kiss pulling you flush against his chest. He swallows the gasp that escapes your lips when he takes your bottom lip between his teeth. You snake your arms around his neck tugging the hair at the nape of his neck. The growl that, that action elicits vibrates through your chest.

“Bedroom?” Joel grits out, his deep voice drips with desire mixed with love.

Joel can’t convince himself otherwise any more, he loves you.

“Bedroom” you echo

Joel’s walking you backwards down the hall to your bedroom when he turns slightly pinning you against the wall just outside your bedroom.

“Are you sure about this sweetheart?” He pulls back just enough to lock eyes with you.

You nod your head yes.

“I need to hear you say it sweetheart. I don’t want to push you farther than your comfortable going because i thought it was ok.”

“I’m sure about this Joel, I want it…I want you”

Joel let’s out a low groan as he attaches his lips to your jaw, nipping his way long it until he reaches that soft spot where your jaw meets your neck. He sucks hard and then soothes the spot with his tongue as his hands sneak inside the hem of your shirt squeezing your plush sides. This earns him another tug at his hair as you let out a whimper. Joel’s head spins from how breathless you are already for him and he hopes you can tell how breathless he is for you.

Joel rips his shirt off at the feeling of you raking your hands up and down his chest. He’s been touched starved for so long that the desperate need for your touch, to feel your skin on his takes over.

Most people wouldn’t describe Joel as beautiful, but you always found him to be. You thought as you took in the sight of him shirtless.

Joel watches you nervously as you trace over old scars on his chest. He’s afraid you’ll want to run and hide from him bearing his soul to you in a way he never has or ever wanted too. But the moment you press your lips to the scars on his chest this worry melts away. You pepper every scar you can see across his chest, arms and shoulders with kisses before you make your way to his neck. You sneak your hands around him to slide them up his back as you reach his ear.

“Every part of you is beautiful” you whisper as you kiss along his jaw.

Joel feels dizzy from your words as your lips make it back to his. Never in his life has anyone ever called him beautiful much less been this tender and sensual with him. He can’t get enough, as he grabs at your waist again. Pulling you tightly to him as he presses you firmly again the wall causing your shirt to ride up.

“It’s ok… you can take it off” you breath

Joel wastes no time ripping your shirt up over your head.

“Your so fuckin’ gorgeous” he growls as you arch into him so he can unhook your bra.

You let the straps slide down your arms until it falls to the floor between the two of you. You’re mind goes blank from Joel’s intense gaze. Slowly he slides his hands up your torso to your breasts. They barely even touched you and your nipples are already hardened peaks. The sensation of him rolling them beneath his slightly calloused thumbs as he’s squeezing your breasts hits you hard. Your eyes flutter shut as your head falls back against the wall, if your not carful you might just climax from this alone.

“Fuck…your skins so soft” Joel growls as he pulls you away from the wall and into your bedroom, not stopping until your legs hit the end of your bed.

His eyes burn right through you as you slid your pants down, leaving yourself in just your panties as you climb on the bed.

The two of you hold each others gaze for a few beats as Joel undoes his belt and steps out of his pants. You instinctually spread your legs to make room for him as the bed dips down. He doesn’t care how long he has to draw this out, Joel’s not stopping until he’s explored every inch of your body. Making you feel like the goddess that he sees you as.

Your eyes flicker from his eyes to his hard outline straining his boxers and back to his eyes. The way he playfully smirks at you makes you realize just how exposed you are to him, making you start to wrap your arms around your body to cover yourself.

“You ok sweetheart?” Joel asks rubbing circles into your thighs.

“Do you want me to cover up some?”

“What?”

“Wait why would I want you to cover up?” He half huffs, confused

“Im not the skinniest…I don’t look as good as you”

Joel hates the idea that someone(s) made you feel like you weren’t worthy because your body isn’t their ideal body. He’s loves your curves, the plushness of your skin.

“Everything about you is gorgeous, and if it s’ok id like to show you just how gorgeous I think you are.”

You frantically nod and with that Joel dips his body down kissing right above your clothed clit, pulling a whimper out of you. He then moves to your hips, kissing them both before kissing all the way up your stomach til he reaches your breasts.

He licks along the swell of your breast, pulling your peaked nipple in between his teeth as he palms the other one with his free hand. Then does the same to the other.

“So fuckin’ sexy” Joel whispers against your breast as he swings his leg over to straddle one of your legs.

He crashes forward, his rock hard bulge pressing into your hip to capture your lips in a passionate kiss. Your hands automatically plant firmly in his hair as his tongue dances with yours. Making his way down your neck sucking the soft skin where your shoulder meets your neck between his teeth, then sooth it with his tongue. You know it’s going to leave a mark, you want it too. Even if this is just for tonight, you want Joel to mark you as his. But you had no idea how much he wants that too. To make you his.

Joel plunges his tongue back into your mouth as he dips his free hand where you need it most. His finger grazes your clit has he slips it through your slit, deep into your core with a audible squelch. You both swallow each others moans.

A breathy moan escapes your lips as he gathers some of your wetness to your swollen clit with tight circles.

“Christ baby…y’so wet. This all from me?” Joel breathes, as you pull back. He wants to see the pleasure he’s giving you.

“All day…a-always” you breath unable to get more out.

“Fuck” Joel groans as he pulls down your panties, seating himself back between your legs.

“Fuck..baby you feel s’good around my fingers”

Joel’s trusts his fingers in and out of you at a steady pace.

“J-Joel…it’s feels s-s good” you say through a stifled whimper.

“Don’t hold back baby. Lemme hear ya. Wanna hear how good I make you feel.” Joel purrs as he’s stroking that soft spongy spot so well.

Your climax crashes over you like a wave against a rocky coast. You couldn’t stop even if you tried.

“Fuu- J-Joel…it feels so good”

“Thats it baby let go”

You clench around his fingers perfectly as you fall over the edge.

“Doin’ so good for me sweetheart. Soundin’ so beautiful.”

Joel leaves a trail of kisses and praise in the valley between your breasts and down your stomach.

“Can I taste you sweetheart?” He growls as he nips at the insides of your thighs. Pupils blows wide open when you lock eyes with him.

“Please” you whine

Joel gives a few kitten licks up your center to watch you squirm, then dives in like a starved man eating his last meal. You thrusted your hips forward grinding into his face desperately chasing anything he’ll give you. Joel’s harder than he’s ever been before, head dripping with pre-come at the feeling of you grinding on his face to chase your release.

He’d give you this every single day if you’d let him. He doesn’t even care about his own release. He could drown in between your legs and die a happy man seeing the pleasure he gives you from his tongue on your face.

Tag List:

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[ivys-garden]

Hivy, I'm Ivy, and it's time for..

Life Series Alliance Analysis Session Recap:

Scars Snail cam is the best thing to happen this season.

Yes, another week means another session of Wild Life and damn did this one live up to the name. This session's Wild Card was the Infamous immortal snail, an idea originating from a meme that asked if you would press a button to get one million dollars if it meant an unkillable Snail would Chase you and if it ever touched you, you'd die.

This session's snails were far more dangerous though, resulting in far more carnage and downright Junji Ito-Esk descriptions of the incredibly ominous snails. On session 3 there are already 3 reds on the server and, had Grian not called end of session early, we would have had a first player out. So much happened and yet no progress was made, let's see what the teams were up to.

Also, 34 DEATHS WHAT THE FU

The Fast And The Furious (Gem & Joel)

I'm not calling them the family. That name is already taken. And is also lame.

The dynamic duo start the session by immediately forgetting they're supposed to be trying to shake their Villainous reputation by vowing to convince everyone to kill Pearl & Impulse, an incredibly stupid plot for many reasons:

1.Everyone they convince sucks at they're job

2. By gems own admission, Impulse barely did anything to her

3.joel literally forgot about this, since it wasn't important

4. Pearl literally did nothing to her, she was just they're as Impulse was having a rake in there chest (no the poisoning doesn't count, Pearl would do that to anyone)

5. If Pearl is to be punished for just being in the area, then why aren't Cleo & Scott also punished?

6. Gem and Impulse have no interactions this session

7. Pearl and Impulse STILL don't realise Gem hates them

8. Gem repeatedly calls what she's doing “Social Deduction”... no.

Gem actually has a lot in common with Impulse, they're both being extremely ruthless for no reason (if these two become thr final two and there isn't an AMV of there journey through teh season set to Ruthlessness from Epic I will literally eat snow.)

How will this saga end? Idk but it's very funny. keep it up.

Apart from that Gem built a wall, befriended her Snail and neither died. Well done!

(Sidenote about the Gem-Impulse beef, people forget this since he hasn't mentioned it yet but Joel makes it his mission to kill Scott every season. These teams would still be against each other regardless of what Impulse did, which is also very funny)

The Final Girls - (Pearl, Scott, Cleo, Impulse & Bigb)

Oh Deer. That's a lot of deaths very early for the faverouites to win

So to start, Impulse’s Creeper farm is a bust and likely will never be seen again. Whoopsie.

The team also decided to move a smidge closer to everyone else. Due to the snails no substantial progress could be made on this endeavour from most of the team tho, luckily Pearl (after dying to her snail, immediately proving herself as the teams crash test dummy again) was able to get a grip on her snail and get the build started, unfortunately as Pearl is building it is almost certainly going to become a tower…. Oh Pearl also died again building it. What's up with her this season?

Moving on to the perpetual drama that I'd this team’s dynamic, where once again we see the contrast between how Tumblr acts like this team is and how they actually are, with everyone just having a grand old chill time joking around and petting dogs. Crazy to think that a team made of these 5 goober would actually ENJOY when they're teammates cause chaos, Hmm?

A lot of this team's session is actually spent apart, meaning that there isn't much to talk about with them. But Pearl is on Yellow now, meaning she is definitely killing someone next session (an action the whole team is one board with btw). Once again proving herself as the attack dog of the life Series, she asks the team who to hurt. Impulse tries to convince her to attack Ren for killing him, but Pearl shoots this down, once again proving that she is NOT ruthless like impulse. Remember everyone, Pearl might be a little chaos gremlin but she does need a reason to kill or she won't do it. She isn't actually just a murder machine like in double life

That's the funny thing about double life actually. Pearl has moved in from the tower, its everyone else who is stuck in it.

Anyway, grian has a big ol target on his back, we'll see how that Pan's out next week.

Oh also SNAIL RACE HELL YEAH MOTHER FU

The Bam-Boozelers (Scar, Lizzie & Jimmy)

Lizzie thinks snails are arthropods.

Remember when I said Jimmy was the only confident one on this team? Well I guess he didn't have the confidence brain cell this week because he died. He died so much. The entire session for these guys is pretty much just trying to save Jimmy.

This doesn't go very well at all. Jimmy is able to get one life back through a deal with Ren, but all other attempts to intentionally kill someone fall flatter than Scar in session one. At least he does take initiative and blow up Joel's Hidious-Horrible-No-Good-Mobile. Great work big man!

Aslo, Jimmy admitted to being the harvester of the end! The canary curse isn't dying g first it's dying RIGHT before the Finale! That's Canon! I was right! VINDICATION!

The Tuff Guys (Bdubs, Etho & Tango)

Word of advice, if you need to constantly say your tough, your not.

Somehow despite making literally negative progress, this team still managed to do a lot. Bdubs immediately starts the episode with some light gaslighting on account of being bdubs. After this it is decided he must “do something tuff” and so he is sent to go mess with the Bam-Boozelers.

Keeping up with tuff guy tradition, bdubs doesn't do anything. Instead he enlists the Bam Gang to help him make up a story about how totally bad and evil he is. Bdubs is also allowed to come stay with them when the tuff guys inevitably fall apart. An offer bdubs is willing to accept even after Jimmy & Scar get him killed.

In other tuff news, Etho is desperate to prove that he is super tuff and shows up to kill the Bam-Boozelers cows…while they're away meaning he did not have to display any tuffness. He literally just needed to be in and out before they got back. He also takes a second shot at the final girls at gem's request again, and like the first time it goes horribly. The first time he gets distracted by the snail dance party (who wouldn't) and when he remembers what he actually set out to do, the most tuff then he can think of is empty threats and mild littering. C- for effort.

And then there's poor unfortunate Tango, not only does he go to red this session but he also loses his house after being blamed for the cow deaths etho caused. Oh but don't worry he got revenge on scar… in a way that was easily repairable and did no actual damage apart from massively lowering his own reputation.

That is the great tuffness of the tuff guys everybody! They're failing at everything and getting overly stressed about shelled gastropods!

The Spanners (Grian, Mumbo & Skizz)

Grian seemed to think this card would be easy, and I geuss it is if you k ow what to expect and have one of your mates Snail watching you all episode.

Now, Skizz, majestic failure that he is, went yellow super quickly and so the entire session is spent trying to save his but in a multitude of ways, all of which skizz manages to fail at spectacularly. Grian does manage to save Ren from Yellow for about ten minutes and at the cost of any chance he had of Impulse not killing him.

Eventually skizz gave up on all the compilated plots and just wacked Lizzie until she died.

He then immediately got killed again God damn it skizz.

OK so skizz massively lowered they're reputation with the Bam-Boozelers for nothing AND Impulse's revenge meter is full and his team won't hold him back anymore AND I think Martyn might still be peeved at the Enchanter situation AND Tango probably still wants to kill them AND despite what grian says Gem and Joel don't seem to care about them beyond nudging them to kill Impulse so yeah these 3 are super dead, I give them like a session until one of them drops.

P.S Mumbo calls the Snail meme a “thought experment” and I found that very funny and I think you should too.

Also apparently Jimmy and Grian debate what to do about the snail all the time??

Renwood (Martyn & Ren)

There will be a live Snail reaction meme over yaoi of these two I just now it.

Fallowing they're arc of being nice this season, Renwood goes on a great friend finding journey, allying with Gem & Joel on the condition of totally being super mean to Impulse promise and forming a friends to the end Pack with Jimmy at the cost of a spare life.

Ren probably regrets that particular pact as, while trying to perform a great horse search, he loses a life. And another. And so he must kill, allying temporarily with the Spanners to get a kill on Impulse, something that he immediately regrets, proving he is less of a Rottwiler and More of a Labby. Luckily for ren he avoids Impulse's revenge list for now on account of apologising, getting instant Karma for it and the other final girls desperately holding Impulse back.

Martyn on the other hand has a far better time, gallivanting I'm the Nether with etho for potions (he died doing that but shhh), organising the great Snail dance party and joining up with fellow Chaos Gremlins Pearl and Impulse to have some fun with snails and tnt.

With potions in hand the Renwood duo and Etho got up to all sorts of mischief, turning ren invisible and making Scar's Snail invisible, resulting in him almost dying twice and being out of the series…oopsie.

Also Martyn sucks at explaining the Snail meme and thinks the all spice guy and kool aid man are the same person.

Predictions?

With more information comes the first Predictions from me.

●Someone goes out and soon. Probably Skizz or Scar. Jimmy will survive tho, after all the canary curse means he's the harbinger of the end of the series… though with how it's going, next session very well could be the end of the series.

●Grian Is getting murked next session, probably by Pearl.

● The tuff guys will fall apart. Bdubs will buy with the Bam-Boozelers, Etho with Gem and Joel and Tango will be left scrabbling for someone to team up with.

● Joel will try to get revenge on Jim for blowing up the car and will fail

● Etho will continue to look like a total loser

● One of the people yet to die loses a life next session.

So uh yeah. I'm gonna go lie down for until next week.

Until then I've been Ivy, and this has been… whatever this was.

[zenithofstories]

so i've just finished watching all the first episodes, so i wanted to give my thoughts on the first Wild Life session:

-so much fun i love it so much. i'm so glad they're all still having fun and continuing the series, and that Mumbo and Lizzie came back, despite dying early in Secret Life (i was a tiny bit worried they might get a bit dejected and pass on this one). also thrilled Ren is able to play this time; he's a blast

-there is a lot of mistrust going around which is very curious to me. most of it stems from previous seasons and has no bearing on what was happening at the time. Pearl straight up telling Cleo she expected her to betray her; Mumbo and Skizz not trusting Martyn, and then Grian; and then not trusting that Martyn just wanted to use their enchanter; the huge immediate aggression towards Scar when he came out of the mountain into Grian, Skizz and Mumbo's base; Mumbo not trusting Skizz (his teammate!) when he asked for someone to pass him a diamond; Scott, Cleo, Pearl and Impulse assuming Joel stole their cows, probably more i'm forgetting. it's definitely obvious to me that these people have learnt how the games work and learnt from the pain (as we do). i'm very curious to see if the general server mistrust grows, and the impact it has on everyone and the people

-i love JImmy, Big B, Lizzie and Ren forming a dnd party and Ren (in true bardic fashion) has a guitar within reach and is willing to break into song at the first campsite (this honestly might be my favourite moment from all the life series at the moment. the guitar within reach, Ren's beautiful voice, how much the others thought it was great. fantastic vibes all around)

-i really want Scar and Martyn to team up. they are both instantly mistrusted, to the point that both of them (in their first episodes, no less) expressed that if people are going to treat them like a villain, then they may as well act like it. if the two of them team up to take revenge on everyone being mean to them in a new series i think they would be a force to be reckoned with

-Skizz and Mumbo is a fantastic team-up. both very genuine people who are so funny together

-i hope they get the lag fixed, or that it was just from the size-changing mod and they don't have to deal with it for the rest of the series

-Gem and Joel's partnership - in the early days Gem is going to be a fantastic counterbalance for Joel; help keep him calmer and curb his wild ideas. But once Gem gives in to her own urges... oh boy

-does Big B know that he can go caving with people? cause he seemed to be under the impression that he had to get geared out before he could make friends and it would suck if he ended up alone all the time because it hasn't occurred to him that he can go caving with people right at the start

-double life thought: i know most people count Pearl as the winner, but did Scott technically win as well? cause they were the last pair alive, and died in the same tick. it probably doesn't matter at all, but i wonder about it sometimes (especially in how it would affect Martyn's lore but that's not canon)

-i don't think Jimmy has broken the canary curse. i subscribe to the theory that cause Lizzie died in the End, the Watchers weren't able to perceive it and then he was the first to die in the Overworld (i'm not counting Real Life as canon; it happened and i enjoyed it but it wasn't a full series and they were deliberately playing it silly as an april fool's joke. very glad that Cleo won though. hope they get a full series win as well)

-i'm glad that Tango and Skizz (deliberately) didn't team together, but i kinda wish Tango had ended up in a different group. him, Etho and Bdubs are fun, don't get me wrong, but a whole lot of the fun of the series is seeing people interact and work with people they don't usually. Tango and Jimmy was a top tier pairing in Double Life, and Tango is hilarious. i would love to see him branch out more and work with some more people

-there is more than just the wild card. Grian said he wasn't going to explain it, and i didn't notice anything else happening (but i'm also not expecting it to be much until they get to the late game). i think that there will be a wild card that affects the players, and then also something that affects the world? we'll see, i guess

-now that everyone who has played is playing (i'm pretty sure? if i've forgotten someone i'm gonna be sad) who is gonna sub in if needed?

-i love Mumbo's "that was sub-one intelligence mate" when they all fell 🤣

-i'm not sure what the purpose of including the creakings or whatever they're called? nevermind i just looked it up and they're going to be in the game at some point. weird. i'm not sure how i feel about creakings coming to minecraft though

-very glad they've got six lives this time. it will both allow them to not worry so much about mistakes and accidents (as evidenced by Pearl) and encourage them to take risks, which will be fantastic

[carpboy3000]

I actually managed to finish the wild life ep before work so... here's my personal highlights of Tango's ep! (mind the session 8 spoilers!!!!)

-tuff guys remain my favorite trio on the server to the end. they remained so pitifully un-tough the whole time it was INCREDIBLE.

-like not even a-la bad "gosh we're so cool the baddest boys you've ever seen" boys but instead just.... causing chaos. being a little silly . maybe today i'll blow up joel's car... my plans for tomorrow? probably the same!

-its pretty ironic when you consider just how divided the tuff guys have been the whole series, especially tango and bdubs who were, pretty much from the start, best friends this time. and tango is the one who killed him, especially with a wind charge off that tower. just a thought!

-also tango effectively blowing himself up is SO FUNNY thank you tango for your service to the tragic community

-i haven't actually watched any other povs so idk who wins BUT i will say its pretty amazing how the last tuff guy was tango WKWKW

[life-winners-liveblog]

Watching Double Life session 6

P3

Scott: Tilly next time? That's funny... I guess

Pearl: ... Yeah.

Scott: It's a fun...pun.

Pearl: Mate you don't have to force a laugh for my sake, I'm fine.

Scott: Sorry.

~~~~~~

Grian: Well that's a bit darker, saying Tilly death do-

Pearl: Don't repeat that.

Grian: ... ?

Pearl: It will make sense later.

Grian: Alright...

~~~~~~

Martyn: I appreciate how little you cared about your version of me.

Pearl: ... Of course.

Martyn: You know what?

Pearl: ... ... What?

Martyn: ...Nevermind! When you sound like that the banter just becomes really depressing.

~~~~~~

3L!Scar: Nice singing Pearl.

Pearl: Uh?

3L!Scar: You have a good singing voice.

Pearl: Do I now?

3L!Scar: Yeah, at least for me. You should sing more.

Pearl: Eh...maybe.

~~~~~~

Cleo: Well, bringing an army of dogs to the ancient city was probably not the best idea.

Pearl: Yeah you're probably right.

Cleo: Sneaking around and keeping silent can only do so good... Especially when there's such a strong tension ready to spill out.

Pearl: I...sure.

Cleo: I mean it would be better to get rid of the issue from the root Instead of just trying and failing to keep the quiet.

Pearl: I guess? I know how the deep city works mate.

Cleo: Who said that anything after thar first comment was about it?

Pearl: ... What.

~~~~~~

*Scar sees Pearl holding something*

Scar: Ohh! What a nice sunflower Pearl!

Pearl: It sure is ...

Scar: I really like sunflowers you know?

Pearl: Huh huh.

Scar: ... Where did you get it? Sunflowers don't really grow here.

Pearl: It just ...did...

~~~~~~

Grian: Me and Scar are out? Guess this means the bloodbath is starting.

Cleo: Uh.

Scott: Yeah I think that already started a while ago Grian.

3L!Scar: ...

Grian: Scar?

3L!Scar: I mean...they aren't wrong?

Grian: *gasp*

~~~~~~

Martyn: Bye Etho and Joel.

Scar: Rest in peace...or Roast in peace...cause... y'know.

Pearl: Good riddance.

Martyn: hmm...A lot of poison in that tone.

Scar: Y-yeah, agreed.

Pearl: I really really hate my Joel, rewatching this really reminded me of how much.

~~~~~~

Pearl: Something wicked this way comes~

Grian: 4 left...

Scott: ...yikes.

~~~~~~

Previous

Next

First

[paradoxlemonade]

Mirror Mirror

Fandom: Double Life SMP

Dynamic: Etho & Joel

words: 1313

Warnings: body image issues, insecurity

Ao3: Here!

Summary: Etho doesn't like how he looks. Joel does not know this. Hurt/comfort ensues. (This is my @mcytblrholidayexchange present for @kyleknight! I hope you enjoy ^^)

— — — — —

Joel likes to think he’s a pretty funny guy in his own humble opinion, thank you very much. People laugh when he starts cracking jokes, and those that don’t are probably just peeved that they’re the subject of his mockery—after all, when there’s a punchline, someone has to be the one to get decked. It’s all in good fun!

It’s… disconcerting when someone who’s supposed to be in on the joke isn’t smiling along with it. 

And it’s not like Etho’s even the one on the receiving end! The whole point of the thing is how they—as soulmates—can ruin everyone else’s thumbnails together!

It’s a bit of Etho’s that Joel has always found fun as long as he’s known about it: hiding another layer of visual data in his player code only visible upon lookup is a fantastic prank for messing with one’s friends, since it’ll only show up when they pull his image to build the thumbnail. Etho himself, who doesn’t bother with that sort of menial technicality and just whips out a camera from his back pocket when he spies a good thumbnail, is immune. And sure, sure, Joel doesn’t actually know how to replicate the effect and just went for a plain t-shirt with the face painted on in crooked lines, but it was still funny and would show up on the lookups (And Etho’s pictures, but that’s what hiding the shirt with armor is for).

Joel was grinning like mad as he showed off the creation, hands waving and detailing the concept. Etho gave an affirmation, but he hadn’t seemed particularly enthused with the concept; the mask hiding his face stretched with a smile even as his eyes skittered to the side and hid under knit brows.

So. Joel tries not to let it bother him and simply enjoy the thought of his friends being annoyed with him.

He picks at the hem of the t-shirt as he paces about the Boat Boys (not Small Etho!) base area. The day passes as usual: chaos reigns, problems are caused (all on purpose if asked, mostly on purpose in actuality), and Joel enjoys Etho’s company. Really, the man is a delight—Joel knew of him more than he knew him personally before the latest season, but every new interaction reveals something new about Etho that he didn’t know, and Joel’s actions and mannerisms in turn to him.

Everything seems fine, until. Until, until, until.

Etho removes the secret layer. Joel finds out about it in between sessions and tries (fails) not to take it personally.

It… stings.

The start of the next session and Joel’s ire do not roll in like thunder, but instead stumble in on unsure legs like a fawn. Sure, he’s irritated (and a little offended, and a little hurt), but it’s Etho. So Joel leans on the edge of The Relation Ship and drinks in the sight of the server.

A creaking floorboard from behind him and a gentle wheeze of breath belies Etho’s awaited arrival. 

Without turning around, Joel begins, “I see that you’ve changed your skin?” It’s light as he can manage with a slight chuckle of incredulity, but from the tightness in his jaw, it does little to masquerade much of anything.

“I did, yes—”

“You took the face off? Was it because I—”

“Yeah.”

Joel huffs. “Wow, brilliant.” He pushes off and turns in a single motion, and—

Freezes.

…Any plans Joel has for a polite (but frigid, but pointed, but sardonic) questioning evaporate once he gets a look at Etho’s face.

He looks tired, bags like smudges of coal languishing, shifting with every blink. Every step is upheld with an air of casual nonchalance, but the slight tremble in his fingers betrays him. His pale hair is dull and falls over his scarred eye.

“...You look like a wreck.”

Etho scowls for a bare moment but beats it down to a practiced neutrality. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

Joel snorts. “Considering that I hadn’t asked but you tried to deflect anyways, say that I don’t particularly believe you.” He grabs Etho by the wrist and slides past, leading him down to their chests. “Did you sleep at all between now and the last session? Because your eyebags have eyebags. Bet we could fit a whole stack of items in there.” Before Etho can respond, Joel pops the lock on a chest and picks out a loaf of bread. He drops it into Etho’s hands with a nod of finality.

“I slept just fine. And I ate too, if that’s what you’re getting at by this.” He gestures helplessly with the bread. “I told you, I’m fine.”

Joel shrugs. “And I said I didn’t believe you. I can play this game all day, especially since your face isn’t helping your argument.”

Etho scowls again. “Stop saying that.” 

“Saying what? That you look like you’ve been fighting phantoms? And losing?”

 “Joel, please…” His shoulders are drawn in close and his grip on the bread grows tighter, more desperate.

Joel falters.

“Are you… okay?”

Etho makes a face and stalks back onto the ship. “You don’t need to rub it in, you know.”

Joel trails behind him, his sense of assurance drying up. “You’re gonna need to be a little more specific than that, mate. Rub what in?”

He laughs. Laughs. Something dry, something quiet, something brittle. Etho keeps his gaze trained on the bread crust he picks at aimlessly. “I know I’m nothing nice to look at. I’ve known that basically forever. So you don’t need to rub it in; I already know.”

Joel blinks. He stops following Etho’s pacing and stands in place. What does he say to that? “You’re kidding, right?”

Mm. Probably not that.

Etho gives him an unimpressed look. “Why would I be kidding about this? You’ve been saying it yourself all morning.”

Wait, he thought that… and then Joel…

Oh, goddammit.

Joel rubs a hand across his face letting it trail up to drag through his hair. “You look tired, man, not ugly. You’re not a supermodel—so what? Neither am I. And neither is anyone else that we hang out with. You’re in pretty good company.” His feet finally unstick from the floor and he manages to scoot next to Etho, their shoulders brushing. “You’ve been thinking about this the entire break, haven’t you?”

Etho shrugs, as if it hides the way his shoulders droop with the weight of his thoughts. “I don’t… I try not to think about my face too much. Not ever since”—he waves his free hand at the long, ropy line bisecting his face—“that. No mirrors in any of my builds or anything. I guess your silly t-shirt just reminded me that everyone else is looking at me when I talk to them.”

Joel kinda feels bad for taking that personally, now.

He shakes his head. “If you told me what was up, I would’ve ditched the shirt. Here, like this.” He reaches up with one hand and yanks it off by the neckline, tossing it across the ship in the same motion. It hits the wall and slides to the floor in a crumpled heap. “There, now it’s gone.”

Etho takes a minute to gather his thoughts. After a pause, his eyes trail over to meet Joel’s. “Thanks.”

Joel leans over and bumps him, never breaking eye contact. “Bothering people is fun. Hurting them isn’t.”

The moment passes, and Etho turns his attention back to the bread. He slides his mask down and takes a hesitant bite.

— — — — —

Joel leans back and kicks a foot over his leg. “Besides, I can still think of, like, at least three different people who would throw themselves at you in a heartbeat if they thought they had a chance of getting you into bed with them.”

Etho chokes on a mouthful of bread.

[fountainpenguin]

“I come to you with all my secrets... And you never, ever judge.” (x)

---

New Dog's Life chapter today!

Chapter 11 - “Phantom Hour (Martyn, Joel, Honey)”

Read on AO3

Start from Chapter 1

End of Session 1

---

Martyn gets called into work, but drops by Scott on the way. Scott's fighting through his own problems that not a single one of his friends can relate to. Meanwhile, Joel invites Grian to Empires to visit Hermes- Y'know, that kid Joel insists is real and Grian claimed was an armor stand last chapter.

Lastly, Grian returns to his wife on their home server. Their marriage may be arranged and awkward, but he's locked in offline status with her for another month straight, so he may as well get cozy...

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

---

InTheLittleWood

- Card-carrying member of the Broken Hearts Club

- Kept hungry on purpose for nights like this

💚  💛  ❤️

If you're not hearing James Turner cry out "Aww, bat too!" every time Pearl swoops down on his head with wings unfurled, or listening to the constant hum of bee wings in your ear, are you even in Simmers' Quarter? Martyn spreads his arms and wings for balance, meandering across the copper rod rail that spans between the rooftop of one building and the next. Oh, sure… Flapping your wings is easy, but that sort of takes away the thrill and the rush of the tightrope, doesn't it?

Funny joke. I've got 24/7 vertigo anyway.

He takes every step with his eyes shut, tongue sticking out from one corner of his lips. Technically this is the Australian Quarter, but literally no one ever calls it that. Not even Pearl, and she's an Australian Minecrafter. It's just that all the Simmers live together down in this corner: not because they have to (or even because their time zones match up), but because they're such good friends.

Simmers' Quarter also happens to be the edge of the perimeter where Scott assigns housing to the accounts played by fairly young creators who are still learning their way around Minecraft. Basically, you'll never find any fewer than a hundred babies running around, and if you ask Martyn, the Simmers always look exhausted, like managing their needs in mere proximity of noisy children leaves them drained. But if they really didn't like it, they could file the paperwork to move, right?

I mean, they're Simmers… Maybe some of them still think we pay for things with consistent currency instead of doodles and build tips.

Martyn wobbles in an imaginary breeze. His vertigo kicks on a little stronger, a little more demanding. It swirls his stomach and guts in circles like he's mixing homemade ice cream. Whoa. Martyn keeps his eyes pinned shut. He doesn't peek. He only breathes.

I am not falling.

He balances on the copper rod, which Scott probably installed here for the many bat hybrids that call this area their home. Besides little rods and decorative bits like these, everything in Simmers' Quarter is built from wood and chiseled stone. The block palettes are pretty simple, but it works… The young, newbie builders don't often care for fancy designs (and setting them up with pretty stone and wood is a good way to guarantee they won't settle for less tasteful blocks like cobblestone or emerald). Most of the Simmers dump a few leaf blocks down for bushes, but largely prefer interiors, so in the end? It's a win-win.

Martyn's not here to talk to any Simmers. Or any of the hundred kids. At the end of the copper rail, he swings down and drops with a thump on the landing pad. The door's not locked. He waltzes right in. Just without a waltzing partner.

Ah, I'd love a waltzing partner. I oughta talk to Skizz.

The hallway's lit with golden lanterns. He's on the top floor. Nobody else is wandering. Martyn strolls along until he finds Room 810. He sifts through his pockets, digs out his spare key, and pushes it in the lock.

"There we are…"

Home bitter home.

The flat's a lot tidier since Scott packed his things and moved out. That's not to say Scott caused a big mess when he lived here. Jimmy just… never redecorated. Martyn can't even blame him. He's not redecorated in, eeeehhhh… Probably getting close to 300 years at this point. Definitely over 250. Dunno, honestly. Math is hard and everyone's brains are scrambled. There's not really much point in decorating, is there? Jimmy's the one who spends the most time in it, and while Jimmy and Scott were dating, Martyn hadn't seen a reason to get in the way. He keeps his stuff and private portal in his room, but so much of his station time is spent at the flock roost or else combing the perimeter. The flat is…

… Martyn only has a flat at all because of the people he came to stay with.

Martyn kicks his crocs at the front door, sliding into his slippers instead. All the lanterns are off. Jimmy's not home yet, still at the first of many late-night parties. All their games are gone too. There's no food here that Martyn's anivore body will get any pleasure from. And Scott took the blankets and throw pillows. He left the printscreens now framed along their walls - even had the decency not to crop his own face out when he left - but Martyn glances at exactly none of them. He'd just… rather not right now.

His room's the left one at the end of the hall. Jimmy's and Scott's (Jimmy's) is the right. The third door, straight ahead, is the one he came here for. As he walks, Martyn reaches into his pocket and withdraws a letter. He wrote it over break while they were killing time, waiting for Grian and Etho to account for Scar's glitch. Martyn swats it several times against his palm and opens the last door. The purple, wooden N hanging on its front clacks as he pushes through. This room never had a bed. The old occupant never saw the point in one, seeing as you can't sleep in the Between dimension.

It's not as quiet in this abandoned room as Martyn would like. He can hear screeching children playing in the road outside. He can hear Gluon's distinctive bee wings humming very, very near the edge of the apartment. Martyn makes a mental note to take him and his fez out first next time he gets the chance.

Ah, well… It's Simmers' Quarter. Whatcha gonna do?

He gives a little love-tap to the sugar glider hoodie hanging abandoned on the hook behind the door. Hasn't been worn in a few hundred years, but it's nice to know it's still there. No matter how hungry Martyn's gotten… he's never been hungry enough to eat that.

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

[dingdinghq]

Hehe alright! I'll answer for option A in this ask, and then send in a second for D because I have a LOT to say about characters lol

But okay, how 3rd Life happened in the AU, what is the same as canon, and what changed?

For our first major change, only 3L happened. This is because one does not trap a cookie with the power of space itself against their will. But that doesn't matter in the long run <3

Basically, the Watchers work pretty simluar to Martyn's lore! Beings that feed on negative emotions and like picking on specific people for petty reasons. Eye Cookie had started to realize that 'hey, we can technically trap a bunch of cookies and feed on them if we change reality a bit.' and the other Watchers were just sorta like 'alright, we're hungry so get working on it'

Void Starling and Parrot Ice Cream were both easy targets, as neither of them had any life outside the Watcher's grasps (will explain in the next ask), and the other 12 cookies were fairly easy to weed out. All they had to do was find cookies down on their luck, that nobody would realize were missing.

And so, the games started.

I'm leaving the three lives rule, because is it 3L without that? as well as the 'no helmets' rule, and the 'reds are hostile' rule.

Session 1 stays mostly the same. The mobs are different, to fit in with the crk universe. I'd say it was one of those weird walking poison mushrooms that killed Magic Cat Cookie (Scar) instead of a creeper. Uhhh honestly yeah that's it. Oh the Tree-TSD thing still happens, it's just more of Moss Phantom Cookie (Bdubs) forgot that he could make plants grow and started growing a tree on top of Zombie Queen Cookie (Cleo). As well as that, Voidling/Etho's dark oak still gets burned.

Oh, one change for everything is that the game took place over about a year! As well as that, it worked in a more realistic manner, so the buildings didn't just appear overnight.

Session 2... honestly I forget what happened here lol. Uhhh I guess just think that bases are being built, cookies are chatting and making friends, life is good! Uhhh yeah Pizza still exists. Why not lol

Session 3 is when Dare to Flare was being created! I don't know how Firebird Cookie (Tango) got his hands on lava just roll with it. It's funny and weirder things happen in crk. Also now the first red exists! Since Hermitcraft doesn't exist in this AU (causes far too many plot holes), Magic Cat is seen as a MUCH bigger threat by Choco Wolf and Lost Apple

Session 4: Cakewarts is founded!! Voidling, Red Angel, Shattered Soul Crystal, and Lost Apple are brought in by Choco Wolf to join the army! I changed it so that they all join at the same time for fun. and also because it means that I can give Shattered Soul Crystal more time with the others!!

Yes the alter scene still happens

Honestly I do not have the patience to type out things session by session because my hands are tired and also I don't wanna hit character limit AGAIN so uhhh here's a list of everything I can think of:

Firebird and Clay Flower Cookie (Joel) never joined Cakewarts

Yellow Demon (Impulse) did still join though. yes he still took out Voidling

Instead of rigging the desert with TNT, Parrot Ice Cream just made plain old bombs

Shattered Soul Crystal wasn't in session 7 because he was kinda sick due to the way his magic works

Flower Husbands happy ending was just a dream by Frost Flower Cookie (Scott)

The first siege of the Crastle (w/ Etho making tnt missiles) unforuntally didn't happen

Parrot Ice Cream felt guilty about starting all of the mess and tried to meet with Cakewarts to try and reach a truce. This didn't work

After each cookie was killed, the Watchers took their bodies to feast on their emotions. They were brought back to life when this happened, just sleeping.

Ummmmm honestly I can't think of much more things for this. I'll get to explaining every character I can tomorrow because it's late and I can't stay up past late every single night and still wake up early each morning lol

oh frost flower :(((

super excited to hear more about this au!!!! take your time with the stuff about character tho, dont wanna burn you out

[fictionfixations]

Double Life Session 6 [Scar's + Grian's POV]

no words (I just realized that oddly enough if you ignore the feet at the front that he looks like a centaur or like a half human half horse person LMAO)

im sad that desert duo died

i think all of the yellows are turned into red now so thats an interesting turn of events but like the only creators ive started watching more now are all dead besides scott but ive only been watching his after life series and kinda trying empires season 2 but i have a hard time focusing :'))))

it wasnt even scar who caused it, he was just walking and then HUGE CHUNKS OF DAMAGE (I watched Scar's before Grian's and then when I finished Grian's video had came out)

devastated

they dont even get to go together because I think Grian was still in the deep dark while Scar was up

not with a bang either, nothing interesting really happening, like no moment where it was like 'if i die here, then thats fine with me' in like some area with a cool big trap thing idk

aaa this is awful

think i spoiled myself because there was this video posted by this creator that does double life content and i watched it and i looked at the description and it was something about grian and scar dying and i was like 'WHAT-'

nOOOoo

also scars kill was.. interesting- I think maybe the water pipe usually takes damage? I don't know how else Cleo died but I'm pretty sure shes linked with Martyn but I haven't been keeping tabs on who is with who, but so then Cleo would still already be damaged by Scar hitting Martyn, but that kill message was after it, so theoretically if you were to die after being shot by someone and taking a lot of damage from them, then dying would lead to that person claiming the kill.

The only question is how Cleo died because I'd doubt that she'd have a sort of system that requires drowning? Maybe she stopped to eat in the middle of the water and because of that slow down she drowned. I don't know, I'll probably never go see.

EDIT: apparently it was frozen over? I think etho mentioned it in Grian's video so maybe thats how she drowned. she got to the top and then couldnt get out because water makes it take longer to break things

double edit: wait no? wait im confused now. just go watch the video ;_;

ALSO GRIAN AND SCAR AIMING AT ETHO AND JOEL??? lmAOO 'same brain' says bdubs

and im totally not writing this while watching grians video and seeing what its like from his pov because there were a few moments where they split up

but that means you also get my thoughts straight from after events woo

aLSO SCAR S N E A K

*GRIAN STOP JUMPING ON THE HFEUIDSFHUESDF*

i think if i didnt know what happened i wouldve been panicking, like if this was the first episode to this session that i watched

now im just kinda exasperated

also wtf fished grian when he met up with scar after killing martyn

edit: IT WAS SCOTT

what

????????

GRIAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WHY ARE YOU GONNA GET THE WARDENS OUT NOOOO

grian

you

idiot D:

PLEASE

GRIAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING

I KNOW THAT ITD BE FUNNY AND CHAOTIC BUT LIKE GRIAN

I CANT

GRIAN YOU SHOULDVE SNEAKED WHAT WERE YOU DOING YOU WERE SO CLOSE TO THE WARDEN

I CANT

*soBBING*

edit: apparently that was the actual end because everyone else died later

WOAH

dAMN- UH

*maybe* ill give my input on other peoples povs later though doubt

[retroellie]

could you do an imagine/headcannon where ellie and miller!reader are traveleing to santa barbara and are being really flirty with each other (they always have been but this time its like amped up x100) and on their way back to jackson they confess that they have always loved each other? (happy valentines btw!!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩)

Summary: Confessing your love to ellie

A/N: Thank you for the request<3 This kinda got a little depressing and i'm sorry but i'm in the mood for angst rn AHSHJ. Anyways sorry for making you wait so long babe :( ily <3

Warnings: Blood and angst

Word count: 1.3K

-Even though this is probably the worst reason to be traveling to Santa Barbara, avenge the death of your father, you two still can't keep your hands to yourselves

-There was something about this time that felt more meaningful than it usually did

-Ellie would always pull bad pick up lines out of her back pocket and make you laugh

-"IS there a mirror in your pants?? Cause I can see myself in them."

-It was just stupid harmless jokes but now it feels more than that

-Ellie had also started touching you more, if that was holding your hand as you guys were running through a hoard of infected or hugging you as you came back from getting food

-You weren't complaining much though, back at home it was so lonely there without ellie

-You and her had been connected at the hip ever since you met, you even went with her to Seattle even if it hurt you so much to remember your dad

-After you guys came back to Jackson after Seattle you both parted ways, it left you heart broken

-Ellie left to go live in a farmhouse by herself and you got up and moved your entire life around

-You were able to go back to Texas and live in your dad's old house there, you fixed it up real nice... wasn't much but the only memory you had of your dad

-That's until Ellie came to you, all the way from Jackson to Texas just so you could help her cause you were the only person that was going through her pain.

-It took about a week to get to Santa Barbara and the entire trip consisted of catching up but also the awkward tension in the air

-It was horrible because ellie kept getting hurt but she kept pushing herself to her limit

-When she was impaled by the tree branch, you tried your best to clean her up and for some reason touching her bare skin made you blush.

-When y'all had finally found Abby there was a good chance you guys could kill her, she was weak and fragile

-You had been busy trying to fight of the damn group you had run into when you could've helped ellie

-When you finally made it to the sea, there she was. Bleeding, bloody and hurt... Just like when you found her in jackson that horrible day when you lost everything

-You ran to her, holding her like she would drift away. You watched as abby made her way into sea

-You didn't even feel like going after her, you didn't want to lose the only other person you had left

-"I couldn't.... Joel..." She could hardly speak

-"I know ellie..." You whispered back, letting some tears escape you

- You helped get her cleaned up that night, staying in a abandoned house just so y'all could rest

-You wrapped her fingers up real well, doing everything in your power not to hurt her

-You could feel her eyes on you, looking at you like you were the only right thing in her life

-She couldn't bear losing you, if you were to have died she wouldn't want to live anymore

-"You know I'm glad you came with me. i really missed you" She spoke, watching as you wiped the blood off her hands

-"I missed you too ellie, i had to get used to you not being there....it felt weird." You admitted

-Ellie's heart fluttered, she was so in love with you in hurt

-"How was texas?" She asked

-"Lonely" You stated, wiping the blood off her hands. "It was just how they left it 25 years ago, everything was left untouched."

-She watched as you spoke, her eyes flipping to your eyes back to your mouth

-"Sarah's room looks exactly like mine back at Jackson '' You chuckled. "It's funny how similar we are yet we've never met."

-Ellie chuckled along with you, watching as your eyes began to water

-She knew you were only hurting yourself living there, holding on to a simple memory of a man who was so much more

-"I wonder if it hurt him to look at me.... if all he saw was sarah"

- Ellie could hear the tears you were holding back, causing ellie to get on your level, hoping down from the chair and on the floor with her

-Ellie took her bloody hand, placing it on your cheek. She wiped away stray tears, smearing your rosey cheeks with blood

-"No." She stated simply. "I bet he saw a woman with so much purpose, he would be so proud of you y/n."

-It was then, right then when you decided you were madly in love with Ellie williams. You always knew but you kept it hidden, but you couldn't keep it to yourself anymore

-You smashed your lips into hers, not caring about the clashing teeth or the surprised gasp coming from her

-It was at this moment you could let go, of everything

-"I have been waiting for this moment for years." She breathed out, giving a huge smile

-"me too..." You admitted, wanting to pull her into another one

-"why didn't you say anything?!?"

-"You tell me!!"

-"I could've been kissing your stupid face this entire time?!?"

-Even after almost getting murdered multiple times today, you guys are still your stupid selves

-Traveling back to jackson felt quick, days gone by like minutes

-This time the trip consisted of everything it used to but more makeout sessions and heated sex... obviously cause it's ellie

-off topic but the first y'all finally have sex omfg, ellie is so shy and awkward with it like seeing your boobies threw her off

-Anyways uhhh moving on

-When y'all finally got back to jackson, you knew you two would have to split back up again. I mean y'all started 2 different lives, you couldn't just leave that all behind.

-Ellie showed you around her house, allowing you to pet the sheep and horses

-It felt nice, better than in texas where you had no one

-it wasn't until you found joel's guitar he made for ellie that you remembered you have to go back to texas... or do you?

-"I now understand what the bill went through... I mean losing someone and then coming home to an empty house." You stated, running your fingers along the strings

-"Minus the crazy paranoid part... right?" She joked, coming up to you to set small kisses to your head

-You chuckled, you didn't want to end up like bill...alone or did you already become him

-The coldness of the house that you knew was once filled with laughter of the two who had once lived there, something you had tried to recreate but only failing

-Walking along the house filled with pictures of the two faces that should be here with you, would Sarah even want you a part of the picture or would she want to be the only child?

-"I want to let him go ellie...' You whispered. "I'm holding onto a life that was never mine....i sleep in his bed for god sake."

-Ellie brought you into a hug, staying silent so you could get it out

-Ellie knew what you were going through, she saw it every time you entered a room.

-Ellie thought about how much she missed you and how much it would hurt her if you left her again

-"You could always stay with me.." She spoke, seeing your futures flash in her head

-She could see you getting up and feeding the animals in only your bra and shorts

-She could see you pregnant with a kid, cooking up dinner for you and her... she isn't quite sure how that works but you can make it happen

-She could see nights spent making love underneath the stars

-She would kill for that life with you

-"Really??" You said, perking up almost immediately

-"Yeah I mean.... i'm beginning to feel like bill as well."

-You both laughed, you both were so fucking ready to settle down and be normal humans for a bit

-"I think I might like that." You smiled, pulling her into a kiss once again

[imagines-r-s]

sticking it - j. farabee

chapter 7

a/n: besties, it’s here. this is so wholesome, i swear to god. i don’t really have much else to say, but i do plan on continuing writing fics for the ‘sticking it’ universe?? (idk if that’s the right way to word that) so if you have requests for fics that still follow y/n and joel after the olympics or even throughout the series, i will gladly accept those requests. feedback is welcome, please enjoy

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland​ @lovenhlboys @sortagaysortahigh @hockey-racing-fubol @oopsiedoopsie23 @iwantahockeyhimbo @dreamsndior

warnings: high school musical, an annoying amount of fluff, maybe another your mom joke, bestie adrian

sticking it masterlist

wc: 3.0k

(gif not mine)

As soon as the boys got back from the roadie, everyone was ready to go home and sleep in their own bed. Winning two of the three games during the trip, most of the guys had been running on adrenaline, but were ready to crash. 

When Joel entered his apartment, still in his suit, ready to go to bed, he was shocked to see that some of his lights and his tv were on. He knew that he had double checked to make sure that they were off, but when he saw a pair of crutches leaning near where his couch was he quickly figured out why. 

He took note of the way you had fallen asleep on his couch, still in one of his jerseys, and with your phone still in your hand. “Hey, babe, wake up,” he spoke softly which caused you to simply groan in response and turn around, “y/n/n, c’mon.”

Turning back around to face him, you smiled, which quickly dropped seconds later as you realized you had intended to stay awake to see him, “oh my god, I was supposed to stay awake to surprise you.”

“Aw, don’t stress it. Seeing you here was a really good surprise either way.”

“Bee, can you do me a favor?” you asked, starting to get up. He simply hummed in response, “do you think you could step outside, act like you haven’t come in here yet, and act shocked once you get back?”

“You’re so dramatic, I swear.”

“Ah, ah, ah, I just want to know if you’ll walk back outside,” you said, smiling as he rolled his eyes before turning around and walking out of the door, “make sure you close the door for even more dramatic effect.”

Joel simply rolled his eyes once more before walking back into his apartment, “oh my gosh, babe, what a surprise to see you here. Never expected that one, that’s insane.” 

“Thank you,” you yawned, “I kinda missed you, not gonna lie.”

“Kinda?”

“Yes, I will not admit to anything more.”

“Ok, I missed you,too. C’mon, let’s go to bed though,” he grabbed your crutches from beside the couch and brought them to you. 

“I’m fine just going home,” you said, but once you yawned again, you knew he would immediately reject that idea. 

“You are way too tired to drive right now.”

“I have physical therapy tomorrow and if I stay here-”

“I’ll take you there tomorrow or at least just make sure you’re up in time, don’t stress it. Now, c’mon, you need some sleep,” he said, ushering you towards his room. As he started walking, he paused halfway through the hall, “wait, how’d you get in here?”

“I took a locksmith class once,” you said, shrugging, which only left him more confused. 

 “Um, alright,” he said as the two of you made your way towards his room. As you entered, you noticed the various pictures and hockey related things in his room. pictures of the team, along with pictures of his friends and family, pucks from his first nhl goal and his first hat trick sitting on one of the shelves. 

As you glanced around his room, you took note of how his room wasn’t a mess, but it wasn’t completely clean either. taking a seat on his bed, you set your crutches off to the side near his bed. “As much as I love seeing you in my jersey, I don't think it’s the best thing to sleep in,” Joel said, throwing you one of his shirts. 

“Awe, pretty boy. That’s very sweet. as much as I love seeing you in your suit, it might not be the best thing to sleep in. Might I suggest just sweatpants?” you asked, smiling sweetly. 

“Just sweatpants?” he asked, looking for confirmation that he heard what you said correctly. Taking the nod he got in response as confirmation, he grabbed a pair of black sweatpants from his dresser, “I’ll be back in a sec, you need anything?”

“No, I’m okay, but thank you, Bee,” as soon as he left, you got ready for bed. As soon as you laid down, you tried to stay awake to talk to Joel about his games, but sleep soon overtook you. 

When Joel got back, he smiled at seeing you asleep in his bed. After setting down the water bottle he got you, even though you said you didn’t need anything, he got into bed. Turning on his music, he turned towards you and wrapped his arms around you with his chest to your back. 

He quickly moved his arms when he felt you turn, only to smile when you wrapped your arms around him with your face nestled in the crook of his neck, “goodnight, Bee.”

“Goodnight, babe,” seeing as you had already fallen back asleep, he quietly whispered, “I love you.” 

When Joel woke up to an empty bed, he tried to avoid the assumption that you had heard what he said and had left him again. He knew it was bad to think, but that was the first place his mind went.

Getting out of bed to go to the bathroom, he heard music coming from the kitchen. As he walked closer to the kitchen, he heard the familiar soundtrack of High School Musical 3 playing, you singing along as you cracked an egg into the frying pan. 

As you listened to the last part of ‘A Night to Remember’, you didn’t even notice Joel standing in the doorway watching you. You were in your own little world. As you used the spatula as a microphone, you did a turn and you shrieked as you noticed him leaning on the doorway, “god, Bee, what the fuck are you doing just standing there?”

“I didn’t want to interrupt your karaoke session,” he stated, pushing off the wall to walk closer to you. 

“You weren’t supposed to see that.” 

“Don’t be upset, it was adorable.”

“I’m not trying to be adorable,” you scowled, turning back to the eggs that were still cooking. Feeling Joel stand right behind you, holding onto your hips as he dipped his head to kiss your neck, “better watch yourself, Farabee.”

“Babe, I’m just messing with you. Whatcha making?”

“Well, right now I’m making eggs and I was about to start the pancakes,” you said, listening as the song changed to ‘Just Wanna Be With You’, smiling as you heard Joel mumbling the words into the crook of your neck. 

“Babe, c’mon, it’s a duet. So you have to ‘do it’, you know?” he said, taking a step back from you, grabbing onto your waist once more to spin you around to face him, as he started obnoxiously singing the words. 

“Maybe you should stick to hockey, Bee. Singing is not your forte,” you said, laughing. 

“You’re ruining the moment, sweet pea,” he said, spinning you around. You joined him in the singing and dancing, laughing whenever either of you messed up the words. As the last words rang out, his lips met yours, you smiled into the kiss as you heard ‘The Boys Are Back’ start to play. 

“You guys should listen to this in the locker room, I think it’s perfect for game days,” you smiled, double checking the eggs once more. 

“Oh, yeah? I’ll make sure to mention it to them.” 

The two of you ate your breakfast in comfortable silence before getting ready for your PT appointment, you borrowing another one of Joel’s shirts to wear with the leggings you had worn the day before. 

“I want to warn you,” you started as Joel parked the car, “Adrian is kinda a handful. He’s super nice, but he’s, uh. He’s Adrian.”

“Got it, alright,” he said, genuinely unsure of what was about to go down. 

Lacing your hand in his, you led the way to Adrian’s office, walking right in as you saw that his door was open, “ooh, it’s my Olympic Superstar,” he said, quickly glancing behind you, “ooh, and the hockey superstar? Okay.” 

“Hi, Adrian,” you sat down on the bench, Joel sitting in the chair beside you, “ this is Joel Farabee. Bee, this is Adrian Michael.”

“I see why you were super nervous to text him, he’s pretty,” Adrian said, removing your knee brace, “she literally threw the phone right after texting you one day, it was so funny.”

“Adrian, your face is right by my leg, if I kick my leg hard enough, I could easily do some damage.”

“Awe, babe. Don’t be mean. Adrian, what else happened?” Joel said, smirking. 

“Oh, I like him, I approve,” Adrian said, glancing up to see you hiding your face with your hands, “I told her she was a dumbass for not talking to you about how she felt, but I’m assuming she did that since you’re here right now.” 

“Yeah, I agree, she is kinda a dumbass at times,” Joel said, trying not to laugh.

“You’re a dumbass, too, so don’t even,” you said, shooting a glare his way.

“Alright, kids. I can tell you’re the perfect match for each other, but good news is your knee is getting better. I can tell you actually listened to what I told you to do this time around,” he said, grabbing some athletic tape,” I know the two weeks aren’t exactly done, but you only have two days left, so I’m going to wrap up your knee for now. But you can start training, minimal pressure on your legs , no hard landings, no vault or tumbling,  you know the deal. But keep up what you’re doing, you’ll be all set to start training as soon as a week.”

“Wait, really?” you smiled as he nodded in response. 

“But you have to be smart about your training. Stick to mainly conditioning and drills for right now, only do pit landings if you need to work on any dismounts, actually use the athletic tape, and if you feel any pain, you let me know ASAP.”

“Ok, cool,” you smiled, ready to go to the gym now. 

“Knowing you, you’ll be at the gym later tonight, but don’t do anything dumb,” Adrian said, rolling his eyes, “and keep her line, pretty boy.”

“I’ll try my best,” Joel said, smiling. 

“Alright, you should be all set then. Good luck, superstar.”

“Thanks, Adrian,” you said as you walked out the door. 

…..

Joel knew that you wanted to go to the gym to at least do something since you were finally able to, so he took you to your apartment to get your gym bag right after lunch. As soon as you got there, you asked Michelle and Marcus if you would be able to have some time in the back gym - which was essentially the same as the main gym, it just held some of the older, but still safe, equipment. 

Setting your bag down, you decided to start on floor with basic skills, just to get in the groove of doing actual skills again. Stretching first, you made your way to the floor to get started. As you got back into doing some easy skills - with no harsh landings, obviously - you made your way to beam and bars, knowing that vault would be too hard on you right now. 

You were able to work on some of the skills that you had done for years now, there were only a few things that you couldn’t work on that weren’t dismounts or tumbling. You were just happy to be back to where you felt most at home. 

As you did your cool down workout, you had gotten your phone out, scrolling through twitter to see the usual mentions that you would see on the daily. But recently, there were a lot more negative things said, more comparison to your teammates and competitors, and people doubting that you deserved this. 

Joel quickly saw the way your face fell as you looked at your phone, he could only assume that you had seen something that had completely ruined how happy you were. He reached over to grab the phone from your hands, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Bee. Don’t worry about it,” you said, trying to grab the phone from his hand. 

“y/n/n, I know something is up, what happened?”

“Just people saying shit, it’s nothing.”

“See, on any regular occasion, it would be nothing. You block whoever, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we’re talking about the Olympics here, babe. Everyone here supports and believes in you, so what you do is, you go out there and you prove to those people that you deserve your spot. The only opinion that matters is yours at the end of the day,” he smiled, “so, are you going to let them get to you? Or are you going to prove them wrong?”

“I mean proving them wrong is probably the better option, you know,” you said, jokingly. 

“Let’s try that answer again. Which one are you going to do?”

“Prove them wrong.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, leaving you stunned for a moment as he helped you get your gym bag together. When he noticed you still standing there, he quickly turned around, “are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. You just said ‘my girl’, I just - I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Did I just make the y/n y/l/n flustered? Awe, and she’s blushing. Oh my god, are you guys seeing this?” he yelled out to the empty gym, “Hm, and there for a minute I didn’t think you felt anything.”

“Shut the fuck up, Farabee,” you said, rolling your eyes. 

“And we’re back to our regularly scheduled programming,” he said, mocking an announcer’s voice. 

“You’re an idiot, Bee.”

“I’m your idiot, though,” he said simply, leaving no room for debate. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you smiled, the two of you walking back towards his car with your hands intertwined. 

…..

As the days passed on, since you still had limited practice time, you were able to attend games and team celebrations as the Flyers got closer to the playoffs. Karly even convinced you to sit with her and the other WAGs at a few games. 

“Hm, it’s almost like I told you that you would end up sitting up here with us one day,” Karly said, rolling her eyes. 

“Yes, Karly, you did indeed say that,” you grumbled. 

“Awe, Sunshine, it’s okay to admit that you’re wrong sometimes.”

“I strongly disagree,” the two of you made your way back to your seats, smiling when you saw Joel messing around with Phil during warm up. 

“You are so in love with him, it’s crazy,” Ryanne said as she sat down beside you. 

“What? No- not today. I tolerate him more than I tolerate most people, but I don’t love him,” you rushed out, still in shock from what you had just heard. 

“Just because you don’t say it out loud doesn’t mean it’s not true, you know,” Karly added. 

“Yeah, but- that’s kinda scary,” you sighed, looking out onto the ice as you saw Joel laughing at something Nolan had said. 

“Love is scary sometimes, but with the right person, it’s super easy to do. It happens, but you better not run away from it this time. You both deserve it and you’re both happy, so don’t run,” Ryanne said, holding Gavin on her lap. 

You didn’t say anything in response, simply watching as the game started. This game was the last game that they had before the playoff games, so you could visibly see the tension rolling through the team as the game started. 

By the second period, the game was tied - Joel, Nolan, and Claude having scored . Third period was their make it or break it moment, so everyone in the stands was watching intently as the period started. As the period progressed, both goalies were doing a great job of keeping goals from being scored, meaning that by the end of the third period the score was still tied. 

With no points being made during overtime, a shootout was set to happen. Karly quickly gripped your hand as the two of you watched as Nolan skated onto the ice. “Nolan, c’mon, you got this,” you mumbled mostly to yourself. Watching intently as Nolan started skating towards the goal, watching as he made his way towards the goal, pulling his stick back and hitting the puck. Right into the goal. 

The whole arena erupted in cheers as the boys celebrated, you and the other WAGs smiling as you watched the team that had grown so much this season make more progress towards their main goal. As spectators left the arena, you made your way down to the tunnel to wait on Joel. 

You waited anxiously for Joel to exit, your eyes glued to the door every time you heard it open, “you watching the door isn’t going to make him leave any faster. Trust me, I’ve tried,” Ryanne said, smiling. 

“Yeah, I’m still going to try it though,” you laughed. 

“Figured.” 

You spent some time holding Gavin, trying to get him to sleep, so that Ryanne wouldn’t have to worry about it, “you know, you’re really good with kids.”

“Ah, ah, ah. You already brought up me being in love with Bee earlier, I’m not having this conversation,” you said, looking up to see Ryanne watching behind you. 

“You’re in love with me?” a familiar voice said from behind you, causing you to almost give yourself whiplash as you turned around. 

“Uh, hi, Bee,” the tension in your body immediately dissipated when you saw the smile that was now on his face, “yeah, Bee. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he said, softly before his lips met yours gently. “I don’t think this day could get any better.” 

“It would be a lot better if you didn’t kiss her in front of me, Beezer,” Kevin’s voice boomed from the other side of the hallway. 

“What was that, Hayesy? It almost sounded like you said something, I don’t know for sure though,” Joel said, wrapping his hand around your waist. 

“I’m proud of you, babe. You did it,” you whispered, leaning into his side. 

“Dude, imagine. ‘Stanley Cup Champion dating Olympic Gymnastics Champion,’ I like the sounds of that.”

“Hate to break it to you, but it would definitely be ‘Olympic Gymnastics Gold Medalist dating Stanley Cup Champion. You know the Olympics are kind of a big deal.”

[the-oringinal]

Since the potentially last session of last life is releasing tomorrow I wanted to talk about my thoughts and predictions. Mostly just to get them out there and see if I am right.

Who I see winning it all: Rendog. I don’t know if this is a surprising choice or not, but I feel like Ren has a really good chance of winning this one. He’s the only one who seems to be actively working to improve his armor above just what he can get, he’s actively making and using useful potions, he’s one of the last three players who have never died, and most importantly, he has a backup for when he dies. I feel like he is one of the players that is actually taking the game very seriously, and that could totally lead him to victory. (I will say that while Martyn also has a really good chance of winning as well, he will most likely go for whatever is more interesting for his story, he’s totally the type, so I’m unsure about him.)

Who I think deserves to win: Of course it’s the last dark green, Pearl. Pearl has been playing the game super smart, and while it my have seemed like at the beginning teaming with Scott was more beneficial to him (getting a life) Pearl also profited by having him on her side. Scott is one of the more rational players in the game, and its shown quite often that he is not only respected, but also a bit intimidating to the other players, and his presence helped boost Pearls clout on the server. She’s the last new player still remaining, and is part of the only team that has no red names. The biggest problems she has right now are that with the dark green name she’s going to have a huge target on her back, and unlike some of the other members she lacks a strong “plot amour” and by that I mean, I don’t think she’s involved herself enough with others to the extent that they might hesitate before just killing her, much like scar in season 1. I think her best bet to winning is to keep her posse close and I think she might have a good chance, and I would be happy to see her win.

Who I want to see win: Joel. I just think it would be really interesting if the first to red was the last alive. He’s also got this good narrative going about how he turned red and was lonely, and so he started making more reds so he could have friends. I just think it would be really bittersweet of an ending for him to once again have no friends, y’know, cause he killed them all. I don’t see it happening, but I will be rooting for him until the end.

Also, I would actually love it if this wasn’t the last session, I feel like it’s totally possible, since with the change of rules the red’s are going to be a lot less willing to pvp. Fingers crossed.

Things I’d like to see before the game ends

Etho kills Grian: there’s really no need for explanation here

Tango kills Etho: obviously for revenge, feels highly unlikely, but I’d love to see

Two or more boogeymen at a time: in particular, I’d love for Cleo to get it (as she’s the only non-red who hasn’t) and I would like to actually see Pearl’s perspective of it, since her s7 footage was lost. I do think it would be funny to see Etho get it again too.

Someone gives a red name a life: preferably to Scar, but really I just want to see it happen

I’d also like to see Scott kill someone other than Impulse, I mean, this was the third time, what do you have against him?

As a not to myself: Scar has contracts, and can not be killed by: Cleo, Etho (unless it’s a 1v1), Joel, and Grian. Scar cannot kill Ren (thought weather or not he’ll keep to that is another story all together)

Either way, I am super excited for the next episodes to start rolling out, and I will really be satisfied with whomever wins. Good luck tomorrow and if anyone wants to talk about it, I have the day of and would love to chat.

[cloudfiveclub]

cnco preferences ➵ sharing a bed for the first time

hope you like this @scintillating-orbs! did my best, enjoy (hopefully) 😬

YES i know a lot of you are also waiting for part 2 to Enemies Wouldn’t, i’m trying my best to get it out as soon as possible 

also i’m going to start a tag list, so if you would like to be added to it, just drop me an ask or message xx

masterlist

disclaimer | these are only based on my own opinions and imagination and are purely fictitious, as such they in no way accurate or true

Christopher ♛

♛ so you would have gone to visit chris on tour after dating him for about 3-4 months

♛ you two hadn’t done anything yet because contrary to popular belief, he actually wanted to take it slow

♛ plus he didn’t want to hop into bed with you right away and give you the wrong idea that he was only after your body

♛ so obviously you needed a place to stay over for the night, and the only available option was his hotel room

♛ he was very sweet about it and didn’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable

♛ he usually sleeps in boxers, and even though you said you were okay with it, he put on an extra pair of shorts anyway

♛ asks 500 times whether you’re okay when all he’s doing is putting his arm round your waist to bring you close to him

♛ you couldn’t believe how amazingly comfortable it was to cuddle with him in bed under the warm sheets

♛ nothing is particularly funny, but both of you keep giggling anyway

♛ overall extremely fluffy; just talking about your day while cuddling and sharing nose kisses

Richard ♚

♚ similar to chris where you visited him on tour after only a few months of dating

♚ and you discover there’s of course, only one bed in the hotel room

♚ “looks like we sharing a bed tonight, baby”

♚ you’re blushing a hella lot cause look at him

♚ he still made you feel all fluttery inside with how insanely good looking he was

♚ you didn’t know if you would be able to keep your hands to yourself

♚ you hadn’t had sex before even though the both of you really wanted to; the right time just hadn’t popped up yet

♚ he also slips on an extra pair of basketball shorts to make it more decent

♚ you put on an oversized shirt and some regular shorts that are just accidentally way too small

♚ both of you settle under the sheets ready for bed when he draws you close to his chest

♚ you just stare at each other for a while and BAM you realise that you actually have privacy and time this time round

♚ and you end up having sex for the first time together that night oop

Zabdiel ♜

♜ you went to his place for date night

♜ and as you were about to leave, a huge ass storm hits the area

♜ it was already late, maybe almost midnight, so he suggested you just stay over

♜ he lent you some of his clothes, and offered you his bed

♜ but you feel bad obviously, so you suggest to just share

♜ “are you sure, amor? i can just take the couch...”

♜ you yank him into bed and make sure he doesn’t argue back by kissing him

♜ he really doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable but since you seemed pretty chill with it, he went along

♜ he’s basically like a giant stuffed teddy in bed

♜ and in the morning he makes you breakfast IN BED (he tried his best to cook okay)

Joel ✵

✵ okay so his gigantic family invited you on their family holiday

✵ his cousins, aunts, brothers, EVERYONE was going

✵ they rented out a nice holiday lodge to house everyone but of course, the family was just too big so people had to start doubling up

✵ obviously, since joel and you were dating they gave you a room together even though you hadn’t done anything together yet

✵ you two were a little awkward about it at first

✵ you’d cuddled before and had intense make out sessions, but you hadn’t shared a bed before to sleep; it seemed more intimate in a different way

✵ when night rolls around, you two bicker for fifteen minutes about who gets which side

✵ he ends up on the left and you on the right

✵ you keep your distance when you fall asleep because frankly, the two of you weren’t sure if the other was comfortable enough to spoon

✵ but when you wake up in the morning, you two were facing each other with your limbs entangled together anyway

erick;

Erick ❆

❆ so for erick, i don’t think you two would have been dating yet, but you had crushes on each other

❆ i imagine you to be one of the other guys’ sister in this scenario honestly, maybe richard’s

❆ it was after a show and the others went out clubbing so you were left alone in the room

❆ it was around midnight and your stupid paranoia of haunted hotels started to creep up on you

❆ richard wasn’t around to keep you company and you didn’t want to be alone, so you took your essentials and padded over to erick and chris’s shared room cause you knew erick hadn’t gone out

❆ he hadn’t been able to sleep either cause he also had an irrational fear of hotel ghosts

❆ so the two of you raided the minibar and played uno for a few hours

❆ you two had been comfortable on his bed, and you both passed out mid conversation

❆ you’re startled to find him snoring on top of you with his arm wrapped round your waist the next morning

❆ you both get pretty flustered when you both wake up, and richard was pretty ticked off when he found you two comfortably lying together in the same bed

[grownups-are-the-real-monsters]

C'est La Vie

Summary: “Riding around with the car top down and the radio on. Nobody looked any finer or was more of a hit at the Parkway Diner. We never knew we could want more than that out of life. Surely Richie and Eddie would always know how to survive…” Glimpses into Richie & Eddie’s lives. 

Summary is lyrics adapted from: ‘Scenes from an Italian Restaurant’ ~ Billy Joel. Title from ‘C’est La Vie’ by Bob Seger…

Words:  18,691

Ship: Reddie 

{October, Senior Year}

School was in session. Leaves were falling from the trees, Freshman were trying to get high under the bleachers and the air was beginning to crisp like maple fucking bacon…Richie was having the time of his life. He sniffled because of course, he was already getting his yearly cold…at the start of October.

“The bleachers are freezing my ass, Eds.” He whined loudly but his little partner only chuckled, still scribbling his pen across the notebooks in his lap. 

A breeze passed over them and carried a few pages of Skippy Larson’s chemistry homework across the field just in front of them. The kid darted after them with impressive speed but-‘oh, too much confidence on the catching skills. He misses by a long-shot and falls face first onto the grass!’ 

Richie chuckled and habitually scooped Eddie’s free-hand up to cradle it into his lap. “In a few short months…we won’t even have to worry about…-” He paused to wave his hands around and audibly scoff “-AP Lit homework and shit.” He flicked Eddie’s pen. “Can you believe that, man?” 

Eddie laid his pen down and decided to give his partner the full attention Richie so obviously wanted and in Eddie’s opinion…deserved. “No. I really don’t wanna think about it either, Rich.” 

His sniffles were much cuter than any human beings should be. His nose scrunched up and his eyes got all squinty. Eddie didn’t care much for cold season but it drove Richie crazy. 

“Why not? I’m so fucking excited!” 

“Rich, I’m way too fucking nervous to talk about it. Probably way more nervous than you are excited.” He scoffed, already beginning to shove his books into his backpack.

“Really? Cause I’m so excited that I can hardly breathe!” He smacked Eddie’s hand gently.

With humor suddenly just as dry as Richie’s toast had been that morning, Eddie slowly and obnoxiously reached into his bag for the inhaler and shot himself up to space. His lips were still recovering from the lovely ‘O’ shape he’d had to make but he managed a wide smirk when his chin tilted back down. 

“Funny, babe.” Richie rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but giggle a bit. His eyes drifted to the homework tornado again as a sigh built up in his throat. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t going to miss high school. Because in some ways, he would. Lots of great things happened either in that building or because of it. 

Richie got to film the best student movie in the history of TV Pro which turned out to be collected found footage of the Losers in their natural habitat. Bill managed to write one killer story after another and really started pursuing his passion. Ben and Bev had their first kiss in Mr. Walker’s Algebra class and made history. The day Stan made the fucking baseball team had been one of Richie’s favorite freakin’ days of all time. And Mike organizing a completely made-up 'cinema’ club just to get the library all to themselves with the coolest teacher ever was a close second. 

But the best thing that ever happened within those school walls was during the start of Freshman Year when Richie finally got the guts to ask Eddie out properly. 

They’d basically been dating since they were kids. Hell, their first kiss was in a blanket fort in Bill’s basement when they were like nine. Eddie didn’t like to count that but Richie held it close to his heart because it was funny as shit. 

Sixth grade had been a big year. Richie would carry Eddie’s books home for him and would stick by him even when the path became out of his way. They took the path that would lead them past the Neibolt Street Church so Eddie could hear a bit of that music he liked so much. 

But it wasn’t until Freshman year when the true magic happened. The fact that Eddie agreed to the proposed date nearly killed Richie on the spot that day.

Richie smiled to himself before glancing at his partner who was now following the wind of paper from Skippy Larson too. His eyes were speeding fast to follow every moment of the twirling disaster. 

They’d gone to that drive-in root-beer place that Richie had always been dying to try. It was across the street from the now abandoned 7/11 that used to be a CVS where no one had ever shopped. He’d ordered a hot-dog and Root-beer Float that became hard to keep down when all his nerves started shaking him. He remembered being scared that he was going to waste the date just worrying he might blow chunks onto the bright orange vinyl chair. “Honestly Eddie, why did you give me a second date? I mean that first one was so…I mean, you watched me dip my hot-dog into my Root-beer Float.” Richie chuckled, legs jittering up and down. 

Eddie quirked his brow and paused. “Yeah and you watched me nearly fight that worker for dropping that order of fries and trying to shove them back on the tray before anyone noticed.” 

“Yeah but that was hot.” Richie smirked

“Well, maybe I thought the hot-dog thing was hot…” Eddie shoved some of his papers away and finally gave his boyfriend full attention. 

“I’m sure the puke was hot when you slipped on my chunks in the parking lot, ‘member?” Richie smirked and Eddie gagged at the memory. 

“Never bring that up again, asshole.” 

The two of them playfully smacked each-other around for a couple minutes before a peaceful silence fell over again. From his place above, Richie saw Skippy pick up his remaining papers and high-tail it outta the football field before any players decided practice started early. The question from before still bounced in Richie’s mind like those boxes never quite hitting the corner in those DVD wait screens. ‘Honestly Eddie, why did you give me a second date?’

“What’s your mom making for dinner?” Eddie laid his chin on his palm and smiled in that soft, genuine way that poked at Richie’s heart. In some ways, he felt they were like an old married couple. And he wasn’t using that term to excuse any nasty bickering like some other high-school phase couples. No. 

It was just…-He and Eddie knew each other. They were so familiar and extremely comfortable with everything they did. “Mmmmm, Chicken Parmesan.” 

They smiled at each other, just thinking about the calm rest of the day ahead of them. 

                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie followed Richie inside the Tozier household, taking his shoes off at the door and setting them next to the others as Richie breezed past it, forgetting like usual. Eddie grinned to himself, shaking his head. The home was nothing special, sort of small but fleshed out. Photos on the wall in frames that were carefully thought out as they were purchased at some home goods store. It still put a smile on Eddie’s face to see that he was featured in some of those pictures.

He briefly passed by his favorite that was in the blue frame, the one that was chipped in the corner from when Richie dropped it. It was taken sometime during last Christmas, Richie and himself were having some sort of conversation that must’ve been highly amusing, what is was about Eddie doesn’t remember, but they’re laughing hard enough that Richie is falling forward onto his shoulder, The Tozier parents were actually looking at the camera with grins. Eddie smiled to himself as he glanced at it.

Mrs. Tozier  was pouring a few drinks as they entered the kitchen, a warm grin on her face.

“Hello boys.” She smiled sweetly and handed them each a glass of water as she slid a cup of coffee to Mr. Tozier as he came in the room with a smile.

“How’s my favorite son?” He asked in that dad tone of voice that Eddie had only come accustomed to through him.

Richie swallowed a large slurp of the water and set it back on the table, the sweat dripping onto his hand. “I’m your only son…” He tilted his head with a confused but amused expression.

Wentworth blew down into the mug, the steam rising and spreading. “I was talking to Eddie.” He looked up just in time to catch Richie’s gasp of offense. He chuckled, picking up his mug and patting Eddie on the back as he passed him. “Which reminds me Eddie, I’m working on the garage again, can I count on your help-?”

“While I am flattered that you complimented me to butter me up before you asked but-” Eddie smiled, hand over his chest. “I can’t.”

“Ed’s and I are have a special date night tonight, pops.” Richie slapped Eddie’s back gently and stirred his water glass like it was a proper drink. 

“Oooh, yeah.” Wentworth shared a small grin with his son and took down some more of his steaming hot drink. “You two kids have a great time. I’ll be all by my lonesome down there and I’ll probably break that damn car…” He pointed towards the garage door with exaggerated glum. “Unless one, Mrs. Tozier would come visit me, later?” He bumped Maggie’s elbow and she chuckled. 

“I’ll bring you some dinner later. Make sure you take the laundry basket up to my room before you go off.” Maggie gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before he left that Richie mimicked on Eddie for chucks. It always made his mother giggle, anyway. 

“Ok, so Chicken Parmesan for dinner….” Maggie gestured to the oven and smiled. “I’ll let you know when it’s done but for now…” She paused and picked up a dirty old box from the floor behind the counter. “I have some Halloween Decorations, would you boys help an ol’ mother out?” 

“Sure thing, Mrs. Tozier!” Eddie stood on the tips of his toes to peek inside while Richie took the ghost string lights out and threw them around his neck like a scarf. With a salute, Richie took off with the box and Eddie darted after him. 

                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Mrs. Tozier, Maggie, rooted her hands through the sock draw and occasionally pulled out a few pairs and folded them together. Her nails caught on the thread every few minutes, she’d pull and pull until the thin string would just snap. But on the eighth time she grew a little bit restless and snapped the string but quickly shut the drawer afterwards. “Wentworth?”

She turned to her husband, who was still lazing around with his coffee and blowing on it as if it was still hot. She gave him a small smile and walked towards him, putting her hand on his back. He looked up at her, waiting for her to speak what was on her mind. “Do you think-” She paused for a second before shaking her head. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

Wentworth smiled up at his wife and chuckled, swallowing his first tedious sip of coffee. “I say a lot of stupid things, I won’t mind.”

Maggie gave him a look a lot of wives give their husbands. One of amusement and familiarity. “Well, I was just wondering…” She began again, going back over to the drawers to root around for something to wear to work the next day. “Do you think the boys are starting to get serious?” She asked, a little unsure of herself.

Wentworth cocked his head to the side and looked lost. “Like how?” He asked, swirling his coffee in his hand. Maggie sighed and leaned back on the drawers behind her. Clasping her hands together, she spoke again.

“I don’t know really.” She frowned and folded an old t-shirt from Richie’s younger days…her eyes got a sad little glaze. “They seem….-they remind me of us in our good ol’ days, huh? When we were about to leave home, so in love…” There was a small hole in the shoulder of the yellow dinosaur shirt. 

Her husband turned the soap opera off the box TV and crawled closer to where she stood at the edge of the bed, taking her hands. “Richie’s getting older, honey-” 

Maggie surprised the both of them by bursting out with a small sob. In embarrassment, she stole a hand back to cover her mouth. “I feel like every-time I-” She broke again and Wentworth rubbed her skin softly. 

She collected herself, tilting her chin to the ceiling fan and letting the loose tears fall. “I know that…when we planned this, I had the idea of a girl, you know?” 

Wentworth nodded. That was a topic they never truly discussed but for a long while, they were both well aware of in those early days. 

“But…He’s my boy. That kid…” She looked towards the door. “He’s what I had been waiting for and I didn’t even realize it. And now it feels like our time together is winding down with his high-school days close to over and Wentworth, I’m not ready to let him go.” Her lips trembled. 

He gently shook her arms and rubbed up and down her skin until she grinned through the tears. “He’s still a teenager, sweet-heart. We got time left yet, huh?” He laughed which she returned. “Side-note, we are definitely still in our good ol’ days. As long as I’m with you.” 

He stood up, putting his coffee on the old dried up water ring mark on the dresser. Maggie smiled at the back of his head, her hand on her heart as she sighed with pleasure before she stood to walk him to the garage.

                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Richie still had the ghosts tied around his neck except now they were plugged into the wall behind him and slightly burning his neck. Eddie was digging through the box and pulling out all kinds of Halloween decor that Richie admired as a personal collection of his childhood…their childhood even. Eddie had just as much a right to claim memories to this shit as Richie. The other losers as well with how much time they spent at his home.

“How come people don’t send out Halloween cards…Y’know like Christmas Cards?” Richie pursed his lips and flipped the switch on an old light up haunted house. 

Eddie shrugged. “People don’t really do Christmas cards anymore either…” He drifted off in thought. “We should though. It’d be really fucking idiotic.” He giggled and Richie smiled. 

The two of them openly discussed their future together many times. It was just always part of their relationship and had never phased them. Maybe some thought of that as childish considering they were still high-schoolers but…it never seemed that way to them. 

“Yeah. We’ll send it to all five of our friends.” Richie chuckled. 

Eddie handed over some stuffed pumpkins and let his hands rub down his jeans as he sighed. “I can’t wait to annoy you in our own house one day.” He pinched Richie’s arm and handed over the hand-made paper Bat. 

His boyfriends heart melted at that, his eyes absolutely worshiping the sight of Eddie. “Shit, Ed’s. Me too.”

Usually there’d be more said between them in moments like this. Maybe a discussion about what their house would end up looking like. But this time they just reached out for each others hands and gently swung them a little with soft smiles. “One of us has to learn to cook.” 

“God, yes.” Richie nodded. “I love it but I can’t live off McDonald’s for long. Maybe my mom can teach me some shit. I can’t imagine it’s too hard.” He shrugged, letting their hands fall apart again to get rid of his ghost necklace. Their was a tiny burn mark on the side of his neck that made Eddie chuckle. Richie slapped the spot he was staring at with mock insecurity and a dazzling smirk. 

The boy opened his mouth only to be interrupted his mother who came strolling in with a dish towel over her shoulder. Richie let his hand fall from his neck without thinking what that spot might suggest with Eddie sitting so close to him. Maggie raised a brow-

“It’s not what you think, Mrs. Tozier. Richie just burned his neck on the ghosts.” Eddie laughed and leaned over to hold the string-lights up again.

“Yeah, I can buy that.” Maggie rolled her eyes and laughed. “Can I borrow you for a minute, Rich?” 

Richie nodded, hopping up and exaggerating a little spill from tripping on Eddie’s legs. He ruffled a hand through Eddie’s hair and followed after his mother. 

Maggie messed with some dishes as she waited for her son to trail in and hoped her eyes weren’t still red. But as little Richie (called little Richard affectionately by his father for years) stopped in front of her, she found herself getting choked up again which was just silly. “You alright ma’? You seem like you might pass out or something.” He giggled and took a grape from the bowl on the counter to stuff into his mouth. 

“Would you two be ok if your father and I went out tonight?-”

“Hot date?” He laughed and Maggie felt her heart tug. 

“Yeah, sure.” She shook her head. “Hot date. Anyway, foods in the oven and should be done soon enough.” She rubbed the pad of her thumb against her nose. “You can make cookies for dessert, you know the number to call if you should accidentally start the house ablaze, do you love your father more than me? And we’ll be gone a few hours.” Maggie rushed her speaking and cringed. She was about to escape the room when Richie realized what she’d snuck in there. 

“Wow, you pulled a real Richie Tozier with that ramble, ma. You know I’m the champion at those.” He started with an awkward laugh before raising his brows. “But um, you don’t really think that..do you?” 

Maggie felt ashamed for bleeding this insecurity on her son but she sighed. “No. It’s just-…sometimes I worry that our relationship is a little rocky sometimes. I shouldn’t have…” She gestured to the garage door where her husband was and then to the living room where Eddie sat. “Bad timing.” She laughed. 

“Ma…..” Richie had never been known to handle serious things very well was panicking a little. “That’s not-…”

“I just let so much precious time go by…not really understanding you quite like your dad does. I’m sure you must have felt it and I hate to think about it.” Maggie frowned, running the towel through her fingers. 

Richie looked to the floor and rolled his lips together which was confirmation enough. 

“Never-mind this, Rich. Go on back, ok?” Maggie attempted to laugh the conversation off like any good ol’ Tozier knew how. “We should be back later tonight.” With that, she pressed a kiss to his temple and sent him back to the living room. 

Richie walked off with a dazed expression and tried to shake his mothers words but found them to be burying deep into his mind anyway. 

His eyes met Eddie’s. His boyfriend was just sitting on the old plaid couch, the one where tiny-tot Richie had once fallen from and knocked his front teeth out, and a rush of love went through his body at once. It didn’t cover up the memory of that conversation but it relieved Richie of the guilty feeling some. 

So he did what any sane person in love would do, throw his entire body atop Eddie’s. One of them let out a shocked sigh and their voices were too molded together to pin it. “Get off me, asshole!” 

Eddie folded his body in such a way that it knocked Richie off him and onto the carpet below the plush couch. He peeked at him from the edge and giggled. 

Richie ended up laying there for quite some time after his parents left, playing with Eddie’s legs as they hung over him and occasionally rubbing the soft skin of his ankles. Though he’d realized almost as soon as he started that it was sort of a trap. Every-time he’d take his hand away, Eddie would wiggle his feet again just urging Richie to start on again. And if he refused, he’d make that soft little whine. How could he say no to that? 

It lead him to memories of being that tiny-tot version of himself again. On movie nights when Richie would glance through the corner of his eye, away from the show of ‘Aladdin’ to his parents to make sure they were watching. Maggie Tozier’s feet would always be shoved into his old man’s lap and she’d be insisting that he rub them. Though he’d complain, Wentworth always did it. 

Richie rubbed another circle against Eddie’s skin and leaned his head against his jean covered leg. When his partners hand came down to run his fingers through his hair, Richie was in such bliss that he missed the first ten beeps of the oven timer. 

“Rich, one of us has to get the dinner.” 

“Set up the dishes?” Richie tilted his chin up, getting a bit of a static shock from Eddie’s jeans. The boy nodded and they went off. 

This was a familiar routine that they had come to know for some time now. Since the beginning of the romantic side of their relationship, Eddie came over for dinner often. The Tozier’s were happy to have the company. 

Richie plated their feast once the table was set and they took their favorite chairs across from each other. It was during these little dinners that Richie finally understood the no TV at the dinner table rule. There was no need for a distraction. 

“How did none of your mothers cooking talent bleed into you growing up?” Eddie hummed happily as he slid his fork out from his lips. 

“You’ve basically known me my whole life, Eds. You know I don’t have the attention span to learn.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes and Richie poked his hand with the back-side of his silverware. “How are things with my dads car?” 

Eddie hummed again. He’d taken up fixing up the thing with Mr. Tozier some weeks ago as a little hobby. He’d always had a fondness for fixing shit up like that and Wentworth had been thrilled to have a good hand around to help him because after all, Richie was not the best at that. “Good. I mean, I’m not car-genius but…I think we’re getting somewhere. Your dad seems excited but then again…he’s a lot like you.” Eddie giggled.

“What does that mean, Kaspbrak?” Richie reached over to pinch at him. 

“Just that he’s excitable-” 

“It’s a cuter look for me, right?” Richie teased and Eddie smacked his hands away. They went at it for a solid five minutes before settling back into their dinners. 

Silence fell over them, all except the sounds of their dishes. “Hey, Ed’s?” 

The boy glanced up, some strands of hair falling over his eyes as he hovered his fork just under his chin. A stray scent of the purple glue they used in their shared second grade class flew past Richie’s nose as their eyes met. “What’s say you & me go on a little road-trip right after graduation? Like the minute it’s done?” 

“Little early to plan that. Just you and me? What about-?” 

“I’d love to go on a big Losers Club trip but I have this idea…for just the two of us, right? Could be cool.” He waved is fork around and it kept catching the orange light of the hanging lamp above them. 

“What kind of idea?” 

“Well…hold on to your seat, baby. This might be too big of a kicker.” Richie giggled but it was soaked with nerves. Eddie rolled his eyes and made an exaggerated play of holding onto the chair with a wide smirk. They giggled together. “I was thinking that you and I could drive up to Castle Rock-”

“Ahhh the spot of romance.” Eddie let go of his chair to take another bite of chicken. 

“There’s some cute tourist-y trap shops…” Richie started and he’d kinda been hoping for another interruption but Eddie just kept on looking at him. “But there’s also a cute little Chapel…?” 

There was a small clink as Eddie dropped his fork onto his plate. 

“Ed’s, baby. You’re…” He paused when his stomach turned painfully with nerves. He glanced down at the food. “You’re the guy I gotta be spending the rest of my life with. I can’t imagine a future without you in it and I think that’s reason enough to cut to the chase and get hitched sooner rather than later.“

Richie was expecting one of his partners famous ‘fast talking rambles’ but Eddie stayed silent and instead picked at the chicken on his rose colored plate. 

“I mean the backseat of my car is no honeymoon suite but I’m sure it’ll be nice to us, you know? After all, we’ll still be running on our Wedding High.” Richie laughed but it was oh so painful to get out when Eddie wasn’t even humoring him. “Sorry. Fuck. I don’t know what I was thinking. It was a stupid thing to pitch-”

“Let’s do it.” 

Richie hiccuped and choked on the forkful of food he’d just shoved in his mouth to keep quite. “What-?”

“I said, let’s do it asshole. I wanna marry you.” Eddie smiled, wide and genuine. Richie would never openly pursue this dream if it were anything but. He knew all of Eddie’s smiles and this one…oh it was his favorite. 

“Holy fuck.” Richie let out a long breath and giggled. “Shit, I-…Ed’s-” The boy couldn’t find the right words so he just shoved his way off his chair and rushed to his boy. 

Before Eddie could fully process it, Richie lifted him into his arms and he had to wrap his legs around his waist to keep balanced. “Everyone’s gonna say we’re idiots, you know?” Richie mumbled into his neck. 

“I don’t care.” Eddie decided. Because for once in his life, he was 100% sure that this was something he wanted. He’d fight for it with no problem if it meant keeping the Loser in his life forever. He’d fight for it just like he’d always fought for his friends. “We don’t have to tell anyone.”

Richie nodded. “Just between us. Our little secret.” 

They agreed to that knowing it would truly be a hard task. They told their fellow Losers everything and how could they not share something like this? Something so amazing? But they knew it had to stay a secret until the actual day was done. 

A laugh bubbled in his throat and a comment escaped his lips without flickering thought. “I’m so glad I met you, Richie.” 

“Me too.” Richie’s voice was a little too soft to not be emotional so Eddie kissed his hair. “If I call you tomorrow and ask…are we still gonna be engaged?”

Eddie pulled his chin back and nuzzled his nose into Richie’s curls. “We’re still gonna be engaged, Rich. All up until Gradation, like ya said.” He could feel the blush dusting his cheeks and the sense of pure joy was just too intoxicating. 

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{December, Senior Year}

Richie and Eddie didn’t really bring up their engagement again until the fall leaves started turning to winter snow. 

Richie shut his front door behind him as he stepped outside, glancing down at his shoes as they walked down his broken concrete steps. He hopped down the last stair, the one with the chip that was just waiting to become an avalanche of rock. He pulled aimlessly at his jacket when he felt the sudden jolt of the wind being knocked out of him and legs wrapping around his waist. He didn’t need to look to know who it was.

"Ed’s, you can’t just jump on a guys back without warning.” Richie tried to glance up, as best he could as Eddie shifted around and looped his arms around his neck.

“As the shorter friend, I reserve the right to get piggy back rides whenever I want.” He heard Eddie laugh against his ear, his feet wiggling.

“Eddie, You’re such an asshole.” He shook his head and tried to hike his boyfriend up so he wouldn’t slip off. 

“Your point?” Eddie hummed. “So…you’re walking to my house, what for?” Eddie smiled and Richie rolled his eyes fondly.  

“To bother you…which by the way, where were you coming from?” Richie glanced his eyes up. Usually whenever Eddie left his home, one of the Losers was with him so he was more than curious.

“I was beating up Bill in the park.” He felt the boy shrug. -”And before you ask, he deserved it and he’s fine.” Eddie laughed again and Richie could see the incident now. Bill loved to mess with Eddie like he wasn’t aware what the little asshole was capable of. 

Bill would make his fun and let Eddie charge him for a round of play-fighting like a couple of brothers in the living room of their childhood home. Man, did it make Bill happy. He’d light up like a damn Christmas tree. They all knew why and they never mentioned it. Georgie had passed away some time ago, an out of the blue accident. Such a shitty world sometimes. 

“I was going to visit your mom, anyway-OW!” Richie felt Eddie pinch his neck. He chuckled. “Jealousy is not a flattering color for you.” 

Eddie hopped off his back and started to walk on Richie’s left side. It was a habit from their younger days that just never faded. Little Richie used to wander towards the street from the sidewalk because his strut was for some reason…a little tilted. Not so much anymore. But Eddie, Bill and Stan still planted themselves to his left like the memory was still taking place. Richie thank God that Ben, Mike and Bev didn’t have to remember how dumb he was back then…just how dumb he was now. He laughed to himself. 

“I was walking over to pick you up. Us Losers are taking a holiday trip to Mike’s place. I wanted to give you your gift before we see our favorite people.” Richie tapped his pocket and Eddie nodded. “Hey, now that I’m looking at your face…” Richie made a show of tilting his head and waving a hand in front of Eddie’s crinkled nose. He got his hand slapped away.

“You look a little glum, baby.” 

“That’s a stupid word-” 

“Melancholy? Sulky? Morose! You look a little morose, baby.” Richie pulled at Eddie’s arm and wasn’t pushed away this time so he rubbed up and down the boys jacket sleeve. 

“You look like a moron, baby.” Eddie mocked and Richie giggled. “Sorry, I’m pissy today.” 

“I got that, Ed’s. But why?” 

Richie got another light shove. “I couldn’t sleep last night. Felt like I couldn’t breath and…” Eddie tapped his own pocket where his inhaler was once again. “Shit, Rich. I know it’s all in my head but…that doesn’t stop me from re-creating that feeling whenever I get the slightest bit of anxiety about something.” 

Eddie sighed, sounding like a tired man some years their elder. “It scares the shit outta me that I just subconsciously do this to myself. How do you stop a thing like that?” 

“I don’t know.” Richie shrugged with an honest tone and wrapped an arm around his partner. “But, I know that you’ll get there. Maybe not today…maybe not tomorrow but soon, baby.” 

Eddie nodded but didn’t seem to believe him. Man, Richie really hated Sonia Kaspbrak for the shit she had pulled all throughout this poor kids childhood. “I got your back through and through, Eddie my love.” He shook him playfully and pulled back to get the small gift-box from his jacket pocket. 

Eddie stopped in front of him and sniffled cutely. “I feel bad. I should get your gift from my house before you-” 

“Nah, Eddie. I really wanna do this now.” Richie smiled and handed over a small box. It was wrapped in brown paper covered in mini-vintage Santa faces. There was an obnoxiously large ribbon atop it that he knew Eddie would keep for some odd reason. It was just one of those things he did.  

As he tore into the package, Richie nervously rolled his lips together.

Inside was a velvet box that when tilted open, allowed a small silvery band to come into view. It glittered in the winter air and Richie got down on his knobby knee like a true gentleman and smiled up at his man. “I thought I should get you a little ring for our engagement, you remember right?” He teased but surely meant the question at least a little bit. 

“Rich-” 

“My mom helped me. And don’t worry you’re pretty little head, I told her I was getting ya a promise ring.” He waved his hands a little. “So it’s not a true engagement ring, per se but-” 

“I love it.” Eddie slipped it on and slowly kneeled down to help Richie off the icy ground. “Get up and hug me, asshole.” 

Richie happily obliged. 

                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{May, Senior Year} 

From then on, Richie and Eddie kept on like normal but there was some kind of glowing secret between them. The Losers noticed something, as well they would because they knew their friends too well. But none of them could quite put a finger on what was so different between them. 

Eddie was perched on Richie’s desk in Honors Lit. witch was about the only class that every Losers Club member had together. It was the last normal day of school before Graduation Day so the Senior class was basically free to do whatever. 

Eddie was whispering things that Richie would seem to consider before writing down on his pad of paper in a list or something. Ben watched them with a curious smile but didn’t ask. 

“I say we all drive to Graduation together so we can drive up to the Haunted K-Mart in the town over afterwards.” Bev smiled from her seat. 

“Why t-t-there?” Bill asked. 

“This might be our last chance to catch a spirit there!” She gestured her hands like that might impress them. “And there’s a Steak ‘N Shake right across the street.”

“Ahhh, the real reason she makes such requests.” Richie snapped his fingers and Bev shrugged. 

“Any takers?” 

Richie and Eddie shared a private worried glance. They both knew now that if the group agreed to go with this plan, they’d say yes too. They loved their friends too much to avoid plans with them for a big secret wedding they didn’t even know about. Especially considering Graduation night was sorta a big deal for them because soon enough, they’d separate. 

It wasn’t so bad. Eddie, Richie and Bill were all headed to the University of Maine campus. Mike, Ben and Bev were all going to another 4-year just around twenty minutes away. But….Stan….he was shipping out to one in Vermont which was a cool, crisp…4 hour drive. 

But they still had a whole summer to look forward too. At least that was something.

“Sorry, I can’t. My dad and Grandpa have been planning a dinner celebration at home.” Mike smiled sweetly as he thought about it and gave Bev a small shrug. 

“Me t-t-too. My parents want me home.” Bill frowned and they weren’t too sure ol’ Bill was going to have such a great time. 

Beverly sighed and turned to Stan who gave her a soft no for just about the same reasons. 

“And count us out! Eddie and I will be feasting at the Tozier’s.” Richie slapped Eddie’s nervous hand and they both felt swept under the instant relief. 

“My mom would love to have you over for dinner, Bev. She’s been keen on it for sometime.” Ben smiled again and a soft blush took over his cheeks just the same as it did on Beverly’s when she accepted this offer. 

                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{May, Graduation Day}

“Eddie, don’t be alarmed but…there’s an old man sitting in the passenger seat of my car.” 

Richie narrowed his eyes and shook his head so the tassel on his cap would get out of his eyes. The sun was shining down onto the crisp green summer grass and had provided them comfortable Graduation weather all the day. 

The ceremony had been a mess of Losers Club tears and a solid thirty minutes spent afterwards just hanging out in the field in front of the building. They talked to each others families, hung-out and maybe he and Bev smoked a little. There was also the moment where Richie hugged Stan and proceeded to refuse to let go when he had to go with his parents. It took the Losers a good five minutes to get Richie off. Stan pretended he wasn’t having fun and saluted Richie with a middle finger and spun off to his parents car.  And soon after, all their best friends had gone off with their families. 

The Toziers came for the ceremony but allowed Richie and Eddie some extended time for a ‘date’. 

Eddie quirked his brow and crossed his arms. “No…are we sure that’s your car?” He saw the old man but it was still quite far from where they stood. Maybe it was just a similar-

“No, there’s the ‘Honk if you love Bruce Springsteen’ bumper sticker.” He pointed with his spindly finger and Eddie stepped back with confusion. 

There was in fact, an old man chilling in the passengers seat of their ‘Honeymoon Chariot’ as Richie had been calling it the past few hours. “Oh, Richie…maybe he’s just confused?” Eddie frowned, eyebrows knitting together in concern. With that, he started walking over to the vehicle. Richie hung back because he wasn’t very good at confrontation or conversation with older people. 

Eddie paused a bit in front of the passenger door and smiled. “Excuse me, sir?” 

The man was small, wrinkly and kind-looking. He had a baseball cap atop his surprisingly thick curly gray. “Oh…is there a problem? Should we not be parked here?” 

Richie stepped a little closer while Eddie dealt with the situation like a pro. 

“Oh no, nothing like that.” Eddie inched closer and gave the man his warmest smile as the sunshine cupped his face. “I think maybe you’ve confused this car with your own…?” He made a salute motion to block the harsh sunlight and to maybe to offer a warm look in his eyes that the old man could relate to. Eddie had this kind, sweet nature to him when he wasn’t truly thinking about it. It was a gift blessed onto Mike and Ben too, though Eddie’s wasn’t anywhere near the level of those two. 

“Oh…is this your-? I’m so sorry, my…I’m getting pretty forgetful, aren’t I?” The man made for the door and Eddie backed up and grabbed onto it when it opened to make sure there was no swing back. “It looks so much like my wife’s car.” He laughed, an old worn kind that Richie loved. 

“Understandable. Once, I was visiting my aunts place right? And I went out for a smoke. When I went back inside…” Richie chuckled, hand on his stomach “It was the wrong house. Boy, were those people freaked out to see this gangly teenager walk into their home flicking a lighter.” 

Richie enjoyed the familiar way Eddie smiled at him under the sunshine, he’d heard that story a few times himself. The older gentleman also seemed rightly amused. He took off his baseball cap and waved it as he laughed. 

“That sure kicks me out of lonesome town, huh?” He wiped under his eyes which Richie might’ve been ashamed to admit made him feel really good. Not many people laughed that hard at his shit. “Good to know I’m not the only guy making himself a fool, son.” 

Eddie happily grinned towards the man as he reached out to shake Richie’s hand. “So where’s the lucky gal who loves you, ol’ buddy?” 

The man lit up, smile widening. “Should be on her way to wherever the hell it was we parked. Had a few words left yet to say to our grand-boy.” He stood on his tip-toes to catch a peek of the crowd. 

“What’s say we walk you over? A car that looks like mine…should be easy to find, huh?” Richie tipped his chin to Eddie who nodded. So Richie offered his arm. 

“What’s your name, sir?” Eddie asked, strolling over to catch up. 

“Oliver…” He grinned. “The wife, she’s called Michelle…like that Beatles tune, I always say.” He chuckled. Richie and Eddie leaned a little forward to steal grins from each other. “She’s a real funny gal that kid.” 

“Gotta love the funny ones, huh?” Richie bumped him gently and Eddie shook his head, most likely pairing it with a roll of the ol’ eyes. “We sure can make it hard, sometimes.” He laughed again and Eddie carefully reached over to smack the back of his head. 

Oliver must have thought that was hysterical because he started joyfully laughing again. It warmed the boys hearts. “Sure can. Michelle…she does this little bit where she takes the quarters outta my ear…magic and all that.” Oliver rolled his eyes but not with annoyance but fond and genuine love. It was a look that Eddie knew oh so well. “Then she turns a whole bouquet of flowers out from her sleeve….” He paused. “No one else for me in the world except Michelle.” 

Richie felt himself blush at the mere thought of how he felt just the same about Eddie, who was walking peacefully in the grass with the tassel hanging over his eyes. 

“Oh! There’s the ol’ girl now.” Oliver let go of Richie’s arm and started to happily stroll over to the car that did look pretty similar to Richie’s. “Thank you, boys! Been too kind!” He waved and looked like he was far too excited to get back to his lady to stay any longer. 

The sky was gold and a breeze was passing through the remaining crowd of graduates. Red gowns blew in the wind and families huddled together for pictures. 

Richie leaned closer to his boyfriend. “Remember that old videotape we found in your room? The one from our dumb classroom Thanksgiving play?” 

Eddie blinked at the abrupt memory but nodded. That seemed like a million years ago yet didn’t feel very far from them at all. The years bled together these days but that had been the age where the town of Derry felt like the whole world (and what a shitty world). Eddie could still hear the sound of Bill’s father coming home at 6:00 in his head, plastered there from all their sleepovers. Richie turned to fully face Eddie and kicked his leg gently so he’d turn too. 

“I’ve been feeling for you, what he described with his wife since about then.” 

Eddie felt his heart melt. “Rich, we were like six or seven. There’s no way-” 

The man’s eyes were swelled with tears like a gutter full of rain which made Eddie stop in his tracks. Of course, Richie meant that sentiment. He was always so painfully genuine. “Please, kiss me and then drive me to our damn wedding. I’m so ready to be your husband.” 

Richie didn’t need to be told twice. 

                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{May, Castle Rock’s finest Chapel}

“At least if your face turns blue, we can check ‘something blue’ off the wedding list-” 

Eddie lowered his inhaler and smacked Richie playfully on the arm but soon pulled it back to wrap around his body. The summer breeze seemed somehow colder in Castle Rock. They had both paused on the steps of the Chapel, knowing they were feeling the empty spaces of their friends. They should be here but…they weren’t. Because at the time of planning, it seemed to be for the best. But they missed them.  

Richie glanced down at his boy. “You ok?”

Eddie clutched his inhaler once more for something like comfort and shoved it back into his pocket. “I’m peachy.” He smiled. 

The sun was near setting behind their heads and draped a rose colored light over their bodies. “We can back-out, you know? Just because we said we would, doesn’t mean we have to follow through on anything, Eds. If you want to go home just tell me.” He pulled him closer and laid his chin atop Eddie’s hair. 

Eddie pulled off of him, kissed his cheek and took his hand. 

They ran into the Chapel and lived a moment they’d hold close to their hearts forever. A private kind of memory. Just for the two of them to share. 

Some ways away in Derry, in a car that looked an awful lot like Richie’s, a radio played ‘Michelle’…

                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{June, Derry. A week later}

The young lovers had been planning to share their news since the big day last week but each time a chance was gifted to them…they both backed out. They were classic chickens. 

This night brought all the Losers together and stuffed them into Bill’s car, fresh from a fun little time drinking in his basement. They were all a little buzzed apart from Stan and Richie, who didn’t drink a sip. 

Eddie was practically vibrating in his seat yet his eyes kept drifting shut. He usually got sleepy in cars, Richie pulled him closer and asked for the radio to be turned up. 

It was getting late and they all seemed a bit restless. Beverly and Mike were having a hushed conversation about a deer they’d just seen on the side of the road and Ben mindlessly caressed Beverly’s hand. “Shit, I’ve been meaning to ask-” Bill started. 

“I went over to your house after my dinner on Graduation, Rich. Your parents said you and Eddie weren’t around-?” 

Richie glanced up at Bill’s eyes in the mirror and rolled his lips together. It wasn’t hard to just make shit up but he did not want to lie-

“Richie and I drove up to Castle Rock and got married.” Eddie mumbled, his voice in sing-song and his forehead pressed against the window. 

“WHAT!?” 

The whole car screamed and Bill accidentally hit the brake much harder than he intended to at the stop sign. The group all flew a bit forward from their seats and caused a chorus of restrained choking coughs when the seat-belts pulled. Richie tried to collect himself before Eddie but failed. 

“We’ve been engaged-” He hiccuped and pulled out the ring he’d been hiding in his pocket. “Since October.” 

Bill drove on, foot hitting the gas pedal with much more grace than before. The car fell silent until Beverly turned from the front seat…a most awful look of confusion on her face. “Eddie, tell me that Richie has just rubbed off on you and that’s a very weird joke.” 

Richie scowled. “It’s not a joke. We got married at the Chapel in Castle Rock just like he said.” 

Again, the car was full of tense silence apart from the sound of the wheels on the street. “Engaged….since October and you didn’t tell us?” Bill asked from the drivers seat, glancing at them in the mirror every once in a while. 

Eddie fell against Richie’s shoulder like he was about to drift off into sleep again so Richie slowly wrapped his arm around him and ran his hands through his hair when he began to speak. “We thought you guys would talk us out of it-”

“Rightly so.” Stan spoke up and Richie snapped his head over to look at him. “Engaged? Married? You guys are eighteen years old.” He shook his head. “And before you go for a low blow, you know everyone in this car agrees that you two are meant to be together but…” Stan paused to find his wording but Richie wanted to jump down his throat. 

“But what exactly?” He covered Eddie’s ears accidentally on purpose when he shifted but he figured the boy needed some sleep. 

“Jumping into marriage that young is not going to work out. It could very well hurt you two.” Stan’s voice lowered into soft concern but Richie was heated up. 

“And you got married.” Beverly turned in her seat again, this time with a nervous cigarette in her hand. “Without us.” 

Richie’s stomach turned as a fresh wave of horrible guilt hit him. He really had nothing to respond to that with so he shrank back into his seat. The radio blanketed the riders with a loud distraction. 

‘Heard it from a friend who Heard it from a friend who Heard it from another you been messin’ around…’

“All I’m trying to say here, Rich, is that getting married that early on can cause strain on a relationship.” Stan looked down at his hands but it only steamed Richie back up once again. 

“You don’t know that, Stanley. You said it yourself, Eddie and I are supposed to be together-” 

“Fate doesn’t matter if you make a bad decision, Richie. It’s only plain logic. You two barely know what you’re going to be doing in the very near future! Eddie, you told me back in September that you weren’t even sure you wanted to go to the University of Maine. What happened there? Any of that get resolved before this wedding?” Stan reached out his hand to gesture to Eddie but the boy was looking much paler and more and more like he might break into a sweat. Mike kept a close eye on the kid while the others kept with their noise and the radio grew more intense. 

Richie glanced at Eddie and frowned. “You don’t know shit about our relationship-” 

Stan looked offended. “Shit, Richie, everyone in this car knows your relationship almost as well as the parties involved.” He flicked his fingers at the happy couple. “You know that. The Losers, man. We’re in this life together, asshole.” He narrowed his eyes. “I’m trying to help you. I don’t wanna see you-” 

“Too late, Stan! We’re already married.” Richie laughed, full of pain. 

“And happily too, it sounds.” Stan rolled his eyes.

“Hey Fuckhead! We were happy before we told you-!”

“You didn’t even tell us, your best friends, until after the fact. PLUS, Eddie only broke it out cause he’s drunk!” Bill suddenly piped up from the front seat. The screaming match suddenly involved everyone in the car. Though Mike and Ben were trying more so to calm everyone than yelling. 

Eddie felt his chest pounding with anxiety, the familiar sensation of a lack of air built up. “Stop the car.” He mumbled, covering his mouth. No one seemed to hear. “Stop the car!” He tried once more with a hiccup of leftover alcohol bubbling from his throat. 

Mike glanced over and finally, someone noticed. 

“Stop the car! I’m going to throw the fuck up!” Eddie screamed at the same time that Mike shouted a strong ‘STOP THE CAR!’

Bill hit the brakes extremely hard again though the yelling continued even as Eddie opened the car door and hopped onto the curb. He kneeled over himself, palms pressed onto his knees as he dry-heaved. He glanced back into the car at all his friends screaming and bit into his lip…

The sound of loud feet hitting the pavement broke the screaming. The Losers all looked up just in time to see Eddie quite literally take off like a rocket. Richie could almost hear the gun blast signaling a race because the kid was sprinting faster than a speeding bullet. “Holy shit.” Beverly tried to open her car door. 

The six of them all hopped out once Bill actually parked on the curb and started off after him. But the thing about Eddie was…he was fucking fast. Richie had a lot of energy but was no sport champion. He so desperately tried to push himself that he almost felt fire coming off his feet. 

Mike seemed to be the one outta the group to get the closest but he turned the corner and skidded to a stop. It was so sudden that they almost all crashed together. “He’s gone.” Mike sighed, hand to his forehead. 

They all started attempting to catch their breath, hands either over their chests or pressed to their knees like Eddie’s had been. 

Richie stumbled and landed his ass on the middle of the street. “Fuck.” he spoke to the sky in his horrible exhaust. A hand hovered above him which turned out to be Stan’s. There was a bit of hesitance but Richie accepted the help up. “Let’s split up. Cover more ground. Our Ed’s is a speedy Bastard.” 

Beverly played with her hands which meant she was either nervous or scared. Maybe both. But she nodded like this was the most import mission in her life. 

                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben happened across Eddie first. His friend was sitting on a bench in front of the Gazebo in the park. Ben’s heart melted at the sight of the poor, tired and drunk kid. 

“Hey, Eddie.” Ben gently approached like he was a skittish dog or something but Eddie didn’t seem to mind. He just scooted over to make some room on the tiny bench. “I know things got…pretty intense in the car-” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I shouldn’t have opened my mouth. I just…-yeah, I’m buzzed but I’m excited, Ben. So fucking excited about this and I just wanted to tell you guys.” He sniffled and Ben scooted closer. “We really didn’t mean to be such shitty friends. You guys always want whats best for us…so we knew you’d try to talk us out of it.” Eddie glanced up with wide, innocent eyes. Ben opened his mouth. 

“So yeah, I admit that we knew it was kind of a dumb enough idea because we made that decision to keep it from you. We had to be aware enough to do that.” Eddie shrugged, his jacket now pooling at his elbows. He wasn’t completely sure that he was making any sense. “But it made us really happy, Ben. I love him…so much.” 

Ben threw his arm around Eddie and sighed. “I know, Eddie. Trust me on that word. I do.” He rubbed his arm slowly and felt Eddie nod. 

“And I feel his love for me every fucking day. Richie loves with his whole being, Ben.” Eddie giggled like the thought of it was enough to send him into a blush. “No one is gonna be in love with me the way that he is. So what’s the point in waiting?”

Ben went quiet because the sentiment was so genuinely lovely that it became hard for him to argue…

The two of them sat on the park bench, not knowing how to move on from the moment. 

                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{October, Freshman Year of College} 

There was nothing even close to a falling out between the Losers Club after that horrible night. That was just the kind of magic that came with their relationship. Far too much love to ever let them drift away. Though besides the screaming, the other thing to be forgotten after that night was Stan’s statement about Eddie confessing he might’ve been unsure about the University of Maine…

Tension rose on occasion but the happy couple seemed satisfied enough. The Losers were happy, as long as they were. 

The Toziers were still not aware that their son had gotten hitched but Richie intended to tell them after completing at least one year of school. Sonia Kaspbrak….well she tried so desperately to keep Eddie right at home and to dig into his personal life. Eddie wanted nothing to do with that. So she also had no clue, Eddie would be lying if he didn’t say it was empowering. 

The beginning of the school year had been extremely hard because Stan was ‘leaving’ them but 4-hours felt like forever. There’d been a lot of crying and hugs to go around when it came time for him to leave and boy did he wait until the last possible minute to go. 

Richie basically cried his eyes out. Stan took him aside for a few minutes just to reassure him that this made no difference. The seven of them were forever tied together. He even gave him a nice framed photo of the whole group for the dorm Richie and Eddie had applied for together. “Call it a late engagement gift.” He added with a crinkle of his eyes, reminding Richie of an old man. Though there was a still a bit of tension on that subject, he knew Stan might still believe the marriage to have been a bad idea. Richie gladly accepted it anyway because it was a gift filled with genuine love. 

They were all a good month or so into their Freshman years and already developed their routines. 

And at the University of Maine, Richie and Eddie had already become something of a cool topic. Mr. and Mr. Tozier. The married couple in dorm 24. They would be lying if they didn’t say they enjoyed the attention. They were a couple of losers after all. 

“What does he have that I don’t?” Eddie frowned and pushed at Richie’s shoulders. 

“Don’t be jealous, baby.” Richie turned back and smirked. “It’s not a flattering color.” He giggled when Eddie tackled him on the bed, the one to the left of them was almost never used. The Bruce Springsteen poster Richie had been admiring watched over them as they fell into a make-out session.

The sloppier kisser between them pulled back and licked grotesquely up from the base of Eddie’s neck to his ear. From the new spot, Richie began whispering which he knew drove Eddie mad because it was a ticklish feeling. 

“I got a bad desire. Oh-oh-oh, I’m on fire…” Richie mumbled and Eddie tried to kick him off the bed. 

“Don’t sing me the lyrics of the man you’re cheating on me with! You cruel, cruel idiot!” Eddie giggled with insane love and new switched to trying to knee him in the stomach. Finally, Richie rolled off the bed and onto the floor with a loud thud. 

“Oh, you are so juvenile, Eddie my dear.” Richie stayed there on the floor with a smirk. 

“Me? You licked my ear, which is disgusting, and tried to serenade me with Springsteen.” Eddie fell comfortably on the bed, chin just on the edge so that he could look down at his…husband. Which was still odd to hear when it came rolling off their tongues. 

They shared fond looks and Eddie turned to lay back on the bed but let his arm hang over the side so Richie could play with his fingers. “By the way-” Eddie turned his head though he was way above his partner. “Did you fill the gas tank in our car after class last night?” 

Richie sighed. “Our car? I’ll have you know that ‘James Taylor’ has been mine since I was sixteen, Eds.” The smirk was present in his tone and Eddie rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever, did you fill it or what? It was really low and I need it for my Physics class this afternoon.” Eddie felt Richie pause from petting his palm. 

“No, I forgot. Can’t you fill it before class?” Richie pleaded and Eddie ripped his hand away in annoyance. 

“Oh so I can’t call it ‘our’ car but I get to pay for the gas almost every time it needs to be filled. Just cause you don’t like getting out of the damn car because ‘it ruins the mood of your drives.’” Eddie scowled. 

Richie sat up and scooted so that his back would lean against the bedside drawer. “You’re borrowing my car, Eds. It’s only fair for you to fill it when you run the gas.” He shrugged and watched as Eddie hopped off the bed and started getting his things together for his class even though he had plenty of time. 

“You’re parents are the ones who bought it for you. And now I’m paying for gas nearly every-time…so what, pray tell, makes it so wrong for me to refer to ‘James Taylor’-” He paused to roll his eyes “As ours?” 

Richie looked up with a bit of a heated expression and sighed with frustration. 

“Look Rich, if it bothers you so much, I can try and save up for my own car. I wasn’t lucky enough to get one when we were younger cause…well, you know my mother.” Eddie shuddered and threw his bag aside. “She’d never give me a gift that would only be a gateway for my moving on.” He scowled, completely irritated at her yet feeling guilty as she was not there to defend herself. Richie knew that look all too well and tried to convince his husband that it was ok for it to blossom. It was more than ok to be mad at Sonia. But…how do you make someone understand that their mother deserves hatred? Because no matter what, a mother is a mother in the mind of young Eddie. There would always be a shred of Eddie that would try to defend her because of that ‘A mother & her boy’ complex she had pounded in him. 

The air in the room seemed to lose some of the tension and Richie took that as a good sign as he heaved his body off the floor. “No, I’m sorry. You’re right. ‘James Taylor’ is ours.” Richie sat on the other bed and took Eddie’s smaller hand in his own, pulled it with soft shyness and his husband leaned down so he could press a kiss to his temple. “We’re on for dinner right?” 

Eddie nodded and rubbed the pad of his finger into the corner of his eye. “Yeah. We can probably splurge on that cool Shawarma place you like so much tonight, if you’d like?” 

Richie lit up at that possibility and smiled. “Sounds peachy, Eddie my love.” He reached up to steal a quick kiss and twirled off the bed to see his love out the door if he was going to leave so early. 

Richie didn’t have any classes today and thought he’d enjoy such a treasure by calling up Mike because he missed his voice even though they weren’t even that far away. Though, Richie hadn’t seen much of anyone in a while. He and Eddie spent much of their free time trying to get their schedules aligned and making sure they had dinner together in the spots between work and school. The pair of husbands hadn’t had much in the company department apart from…well, each other. 

                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{December, Freshman Year of College}

Bill tightened his grip around Eddie’s body and attempted to tackle him into the snow but the little demon managed to turn the tables and get the advantage on him. He did not let him fall onto the cold snow but was trying to make sure Bill knew who had one this little play-fight. “Alright, I g-g-give!” He chuckled and Eddie backed off with a skip in his step. 

“Ben and Bev s-seemed to have found their ideal apartment!-” 

“So I’ve heard.” Eddie smiled and wiggled his cold toes in his shoes. “I talked to Ben on the phone for like two hours last night. Told me all about their plan.” He rolled his lips together and felt the bit of winter at the tips of his ears. “They got their apartment to dwell in for the next three years-”

“And than off to Chicago after graduation!” Bill chuckled, so excited for their best friends. 

Eddie nodded but fell silent as they stepped into the same pace, walking through campus without a true destination. “How’s the search goin’ for you two?” Bill asked the question he’d been dreading to answer.

“Mmmm-” Eddie hummed and looked off to the side. “It’s going, alright. we’d like to have something to move into by the start of Sophomore year cause the dorm is way too tight. But it’s gotta be in our price range…” Eddie shrugged. The two of them had been doing fairly ok for a couple of college kids. He’d been balancing school and his job at the shop in town. But Richie-

“Man, I’m so fucking proud of Richie, Bill.” Eddie giggled happily at the thought as Bill threaded their arms together so neither of them slipped on any ice. “He’s somehow balancing classes, his job down at the restaurant and he’s doing the radio shows here…” Eddie glanced up at the school. 

Bill shook their grip a little and his smile could’ve blinded. “I’m s-s-so happy for you two. Things seem t-t-to be going pretty smoothly.” 

Eddie nodded, mind going back to the night he and Richie lingered in the radio broadcasting room after his show. It’d been snowing extremely hard that night and neither one of them had been eager to run on back to ‘James Taylor’ when the weather would surely bite and they’d have to wait forever for the car to warm itself up. So they stalled for as long as they could. 

He blushed at the memory. 

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{May, just before Sophomore Year of College}

The apartment hunt worked it’s magic and the happy couple had been to find themselves a warm building. It was fairly cheap so it wasn’t what one would call paradise but it was miles better then their tiny dorm room. 

Their first year of school had passed them by and gifted them a better perspective on their wants & needs, whether they voiced them to each other was a whole separate issue. They moved in towards the end of June and Eddie had been prescribed his anxiety medication a short four days later. 

Richie had noticed his husbands anxiety starting to come up on a rise the past few months. Eddie got sick quite a bit more often and seemed to hopelessly latch onto it. Making himself believe it’s still plaguing him when it’s more or less been gone. There’d been an incident some weeks ago where his husband got to his tipping point. He’d stayed up all night feeling phantom nausea because of a simple test. It’d never been so bad for him before. 

So Richie held his hand through and through, making an appointment with the doctor who talked with his husband for a long while. And Eddie left with a piece of paper telling him a low-dose of medication to try out would be waiting for him at their local Walgreens. 

“I miss the ol’ gang, we need to get everyone together soon.” Richie sighed and poured Eddie some of the red wine he liked so much, which in moderation was good for the heart, he’d always say. The shorter man took his glass and cuddled up against Richie’s chest and nodded. 

They were preparing for a nice and calm movie night even though they should’ve been spending their time unpacking. The boxes were taking up a lot of floor space but with the messes that they could be sometimes, they didn’t really mind. 

Two paintings from Sears, three from the local thrift store, a funky chair from Ben’s childhood-home basement and a plaid couch from Bill’s were some of their new ‘purchases’. But the apartment was already starting to feel like home, as long as they had each other anyway. 

“Stan passed that exam he was so worried about, I damn well told him that would happen.” Richie chuckled into his own glass and fogged it up while the TV menu appeared. 

“We all told him.” Eddie teasingly tipped Richie’s glass with the tip of his finger when he went for another sip. This was rewarded with a sloppy, wet red-wine kiss being pressed against his cheek. Eddie giggled and tried to shove his husband off. “I love you so much, asshole. You know that?” 

Richie blushed like a lovesick kid and rubbed his nose into Eddie’s hair as he shook his head. “Not as much as I love you.” He spoke genuinely that Eddie felt that familiar melting sensation. So he reached his hand back to pet the man’s cheek and feel his heat. 

“I don’t want to fight on our wedding anniversary but you’re wrong. I love you so much more-!” Eddie was interrupted by Richie shoving his tongue into his ear and his gasp of disgust mixed with laughter he couldn’t help. 

The idiots began shoving and tickling each other without a care in the world, balancing their wine glasses because they were too focused to put them back on the table. They’d just have to risk spilling. 

They might not have been rolling in the money but they had this. And that was all that mattered. It reminded Richie of a song, so he started mumbling the words into the crook of his love’s neck. 

“-And even though we ain’t got money I’m so in love with you honey And everything will bring a chain of love And in the mornin’ when I rise Bring a tear of joy to my eyes And tell me everything is gonna be alright…”

Eddie couldn’t help but sing along with him, eyes glazed over with admiration and true, fine love. 

                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{July , Sophomore Year of College}

The sun was always very fond of Richie, at least Eddie always thought so. The light was consistently complimentary to the man and had this way of making him look like the picture of the sunny 70′s.

“What are you doing?” Richie squinted as he walked briskly to the front of the apartment building where Eddie was sat, hands shoved in his pockets. He’d been gone for a while now and the pair may or may not have left on bad terms…fresh from an argument about something stupid. 

“I went out after you left….-” He pointed his thumb at the door behind him. “Got locked out.”

Richie rolled his eyes fondly and got his own key from his pocket as Eddie stood and followed behind him. “Where’s your key? And where did you go?”

The man behind him went quiet again in that eerie way could really freak Richie out sometimes. “Forgot it here. And I um…-I went to Marty’s.” He shrugged like it was no big deal but he knew for certain that it was an explosion waiting to happen. Richie looked at him with fury as they got to his door.

“You went to the bar to look for me?” He glared and it felt as if Eddie’s stomach was suddenly tied in a huge knot.

“You can’t blame me!” He went straight into defense and followed the guy into their lonesome apartment. The air grew with tension as his partner chose not to speak and instead went about the place doing small clean-ups. This only made Eddie feel even more angry. “You honestly can’t blame me. You’ve been known to go there a lot, Rich.”

“I’m not some sorry man that you need to look out for, Ed’s. I know I can…drink a bit more than planned but…” He suddenly turned from his position at the sink. “I don’t just go out drinking because we had a fight. The place had an opening for it’s open mic night and I thought I might try to get a spot for my comedy, you know?” He threw down a dish-towel and Eddie swallowed a lump in his throat.

“I feel like the asshole of the year” He ran his hand through his hair and sat down on the couch, hoping that the ‘fight’ would ease up. “I just thought…you were so upset when you left and it reminded me of the night I had to pick you up-” 

“I’m sorry about that, Eddie. I…-losing the restaurant job got me all wigged out. I know that’s no excuse to drink myself sick but…it wasn’t that often and that shit is over now.” Richie grabbed Eddie’s hands and kissed him softly. 

“This is not a good period for us, Richie.” Eddie got the hint that the fight had basically run it’s course and they sat down on their couch.

Richie opened and closed his mouth, deciding to just tilt his head back and sigh. There was nothing more for them to say. So they just allowed themselves to enjoy being with the one they loved.

                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{September, Sophomore Year of College}

Richie felt a growing pain in his head. It flared every few minutes and he could almost smell the scent of something burning each time it hit him. The quick intensity was becoming harder and harder to ignore considering Eddie pitter-patting the length of their kitchen. There would be a few minutes of soothing silence and he’d think he was safe…just the distant and quiet hum of the television-*Slam* another clatter from the cold cracking dishes. His ache would start from the base of his back, travel up his spine in the form of a chill and then burst into his temples.

“What are you doing in there?” Richie finally broke their record-breaking twenty minute silence. It had been strange and he was glad the opportunity to speak came up. He turned and due to the small space, he could stare right at the other man in the dining-kitchen area.

“The dishes. Y’know. You eat off of them, I clean them. Ever heard of it?” Eddie remarked with snark. That would have usually launched them into a round of their usual playful bickering but for some odd reason, maybe the headache, it just irritated Richie to hear it.

“I do my part around here.” He scowled and spoke harshly, rolling his eyes. Turning back a little away from.

They’d made it through another week and were back at the beginning of another weekend, magically. Richie and Eddie had attempted many times in the past week or so to plan some kind of exciting date night. But the more time went on, they just seemed to forget or become far too busy. It was agonizing and isolating. Sure they had each other but it just wasn’t…fully satisfying?

Richie felt his lunch launch back up his throat, he harshly swallowed it and let himself feel sick to his stomach. And suddenly, he had a burning question in the back of his mind. It had lingered there for the past few nights but he’d been too…well himself to ask it. But it suddenly pained him not to. He turned again, leaning his arm on the back of the couch. “You’re not…mad at me, are you?” He played with his fingers.

Eddie looked up with a confused expression. “Your tone was hardly nice but I’m not mad-”

“No, not because of that, Spaghetti man.” Richie couldn’t help but grin a little. Eddie smiled right back and it was a nice moment. He bathed in it for a few minutes before deciding to explain himself. “I know I’ve been a piece of work lately…”

Neither had spoken that to light but it may have been true. Richie being fired from the restaurant job he loved which had been a whole event had cause some issues. The need for a job search was sudden and a little difficult. And he may have been a little on edge lately waiting for the bar with the open mic night opening to call him back. But Eddie knew the strain was only because Richie was concerned for their life together. In fact, Eddie was more disappointed that Richie couldn’t focus on the radio show at school that he loved so much.

Eddie thought about making another joke but decided against. Rather, he put his dishes to the side and strolled over and slowly sat beside his boy. Instinctively, he reached over to brush his hair back and lingered his hand there.

“And I don’t admit to that…like ever. So, take it while you can.” Richie stole a joke and laughed lightly. But both of them knew he was not too happy and both of them were worried.

“It’s not comforting when you talk like you despise yourself, y’know?” Eddie blinked. That comment hadn’t been one of Richie’s worst in the last week but it sure wasn’t warm. It was hard to ignore the man’s self-deprecating attitude as of late. And Eddie would never want to just ignore it. In all honesty, it was deeply unsettling but not uncommon to hear the other man talk like that.

As long as he’d known him, Richie put on a front that he was some confident, funny man entertainer. It was so smooth and effortless that it was entirely convincing. Hearing him crack jokes and smirk at his own reckless and daring behavior gave the illusion that it wasn’t stemming from insecurity. Eddie quickly saw through the facade after truly getting to know Richie. 

“I’m sorry, Eds.” 

“Don’t apologize, Rich.” Eddie kissed the top of his head and then trailed down to his temple. Not for the first time, Eddie felt a rush of guilt. Part of him felt responsible for the fact that Richie was stuck at the University of Maine instead somewhere like…California. Maybe if he hadn’t just pushed away that conversation with Stan all that time ago. Maybe if he’d voiced his confusion back then…

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Richie sighed into Eddie’s grip. 

“Me too, Rich.” Eddie hugged him as tight as he could and dreaded the moment he’d have to let him go.

                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{November, Sophomore Year of College}

Party streamers were burrowed into the carpeting of the apartment, pounded there from all the dancing. From the neat little window where the tiny balcony sat, the low-hanging sun scattered the room in gold flecks of light. The trees were changing for the upcoming season, Richie’s favorite holiday coming with it. The town was soon to be rid of the deep reds and beautiful oranges. Eddie had a fleeting moment of joy when he thought about the smiles Richie would soon get when observing the scenery. It lasted for a second or two.

The Losers Club had been fully reunited for the best Birthday Party one could imagine. Richie had spent ages organizing everyone’s return for Eddie’s special day. Stanley Uris had got past his 4-hour drive with a smile on his face because seeing all his best friends worth it. 

But now came the end of the night, where the decorations hung with a lonesome kind of drowsiness. The apartment had once been tuned to an exciting F.M. but when the last guest left, the dial turned to the A.M. radio. Not literally, but that’s just how Richie felt about it…hard to explain the shit his mind compared things to. 

It reminded him of the Christmas parties hosted by his aunt that he’d been taken to as a little tot. The holly-jolly music carried all the guests and filled them with their take of Holiday joy. But on the way home, Richie would be long tired and ready to sleep. As he would dowse, his parents played the A.M. stations. It signaled to him the end of fun and that was the energy in their apartment now. 

Eddie started whistling a tune as he dug through their bin of CD’s, eyes never leaving his partners which only made Richie hide his blush behind the large wine glass he’d stolen. 

‘You know I can’t smile without you I can’t smile without you I can’t laugh and I can’t sing I’m finding it hard to do anything…’

Richie faked like he was tired of this song but truly he was on cloud 9. “My lovely Ed’s loves his Barry Manilow.” He smirked and held out his hand so the exhausted love of his life could dance with him. “And please, don’t give me the excuse that it’s only cause it’s what you grew up listening to. You love him, Eds.” 

Eddie pursed his lips and shrugged, accepting Richie’s hand and twirling himself to Richie’s chest. “This song reminds me of you…” He hummed when Richie ran his hand down his cheek. The dying evening sun cascaded in through the window and bathed their bodies in bittersweet tangerine light. They swirled about their living area carpet in the vacuum of dry and unforgiving air because their heater was on the fritz. 

“You requested off work for Christmas, right?” Richie asked and Eddie sighed.

“No, sorry. I forgot.” He spun under Richie’s arm and allowed himself to be pulled right back. Richie softly slapped his shoulder and nodded. They were due back to the Tozier’s household soon. After Richie had told them about that runaway wedding and teen engagement…they’d been fairly pissed. But things were better now. 

“S’fine, baby.” Richie mumbled into his hair as they swayed together.

“Richie?” Eddie sucked in some air and thought it to be a now or never kind of situation. His man looked down at him with wide, loving eyes and gave Eddie hope that everything would work out. They stayed dancing. “Do you remember the night we all fought in the car after we told everyone we got married…when I ran off?”

Richie nodded, opening his mouth. 

“-Remember when Stan said something about my being confused about wanting to go to the University of Maine?” 

“Yeah….why-ummm, why are we bringing this up now?” Richie pulled back a little but they kept swaying as the song went on and on. “Has something changed?” 

Eddie bit hard into his lip. “I’ve been thinking about us lately.” 

Richie was especially good at making himself look smaller. Sometimes, when Eddie looked at him it was hard not to just take the man into his arms. When Richie was upset, he felt it deep within himself just the same. One of the worst parts of this whole mess was having to witness such emotions from the man he loved. Richie was leaning with his back against the couch to better feel the warmth from the sun-spot coming through the window and it was a breathtaking image. Golden sun-rays threaded through his hair and glazed his entire body and there was a peace there that was soothing. As he admired all that it was and all that he would miss, it occurred to him that maybe the man needed to actually hear some of that love that was on his mind.“Richie?”

The man dropped their hands and nodded. “Sorry, sorry. What have you been thinking about, Eddie?” 

Eddie swung his arms around nervously and sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if our friends were right…about our marriage.” 

Richie felt his heart completely shatter. “Eddie, I-”

“Wait, just hear me out.” Eddie held up his hand to gently pause the man he loved so, so much. “I am so in love with you, Richie. I love being your husband.” He saw a quick picture of the face that old man, Oliver, had made when talking about his wife all that time ago. “It’s just…I think our relationship and later…our marriage kept you from going to California like you always wanted to.” 

“Eddie, that’s ridiculous-”

“Is it though? The reason you applied University of Maine was because you wanted to be with me. The reason you ended up actually going was a commitment to our marriage…” Eddie sniffled back some tears and tried not to drown in the guilt. “And the reason I applied was because….I was scared to be far from my mom, not because I wanted to go.” 

Eddie admitted that to his shoes and let out a horrible sob. Richie came over to pull the boy into his arms. “Hey, hey, hey…Shhhh, Ed’s. Take a breath.” He ran his hands through the boys hair and they went quiet so Eddie could collect himself. And when he did, Richie stepped back again. 

“I love you but I feel like our marriage is holding us back, baby.” Eddie cringed when Richie let out his own sob. “I’m so so so scared that I’m gonna need someone to take care of me for my whole life…” Eddie went on and Richie tried very hard to listen. “I’m such a dependent person sometimes and…I-I don’t think jumping from a dependent relationship with my mother to a committed marriage was a great thing for me…no matter how much I love you.” 

Richie’s heart shattered. “Eddie…but I’m not like your mother. I’m not gonna smother you or-” 

“I know that.” Eddie frowned. “Damn sure of that. But the problem is me, Richie.” He shook his head and sort of hated himself. “This situation that my mother created for me has made me too comfortable with always having someone take care of me. I let it fucking happen because I’ve been forced to be dependent my whole childhood…my whole life.” 

“And I don’t wanna live like that.” Eddie broke into a full sub and fell to his knees on the carpet, smashing more dead party streamers. Richie fell down in front of him and hopelessly pulled him in for a hug. 

“Eddie…-”

“I don’t wanna hold you back anymore, Richie. And I gotta…” He hiccuped into Richie’s chest. “I have to get some perspective on life and shit. Be independent for once in my damn life.” 

“Eddie, why didn’t you talk to me-?” 

“I didn’t really realize this shit until a few days ago, Richie. And I was scared you’d think it was because I didn’t love you. Which is Bullshit. I love you more than anything. You’re the one I’m supposed to be with just…not like this. Not in this situation, right now.” Eddie pulled back, a little bit more relaxed and grabbed Richie’s hands. “So I think I should go. We should take a break. I don’t know for how long-” 

“Eddie. We can work this out.” He pathetically begged and tugged his husband’s arms. 

“We can.” Eddie agreed. “Just by ourselves first. Separated.” 

Richie hiccuped himself and shook his head. “No, Eddie. We need to be together..I-.” He frowned. “If you walk out that door, that’s it. Not a break. We’ll be broken up. That’s it.” Richie stood up and looked down at the love of his life hoping to anything that would listen that Eddie might change his mind because of his juvenile threat. 

Eddie looked up with wide, watery eyes. “This is something I have to do, Richie. Something you have to do too. I want the best life for you so if you’re gonna damn threaten me than I’ll have to take it. If being broken up means that you’ll get the life you deserve, well that’s the path we’ll take.” Eddie hopped up and ran to the bedroom, starting to get his shit together in a suitcase. 

Richie felt the wind get knocked out of him as he chased Eddie around the apartment, slowly falling apart with everything he threw in the suitcase. “Eddie. Please slow down. Stop-” 

“I’m going to Bill’s.” Eddie made it to the front door with a suitcase full of random clothes that he hoped would get him through at least a week. He hovered his hand on the doorknob. 

“I mean it, Eddie. You leave and that’s it.” Richie sobbed. Eddie looked at him with all the love in his soul….

He turned the knob and left Richie to crumble onto his carpet and cry his eyes out. 

                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{A week later….}

The night was a trying one for Richie. The apartment was practically dead apart from the terribly busy sounding quick taps of a keyboard. And though he was the one making that sound, it didn’t stop it from slowly driving him insane. His stomach turned from the mixture of anger and nerves that were boiling inside. So instead of slamming his head into his palms and letting out the emotions, he composed himself. He sat straight and tall, threading his slim fingers together. He copycatted those relaxing breaths Mike had once taught him. 

He was attempting to get some homework done and treated himself to glass of chocolate milk like he was a child. Just as the last drop splashed in the glass, his phone began ringing. 

“Eddie’s coming over there in like twenty minutes.” Bill’s cool voice spoke from over the phone and Richie’s hopes climbed so high. “Don’t get t-t-too excited. He just wants to p-pick up some more clothes and his medication.” 

Richie nodded and sighed. By now, the news must have traveled to every member of The Losers Club and for once in his life, Richie was glad Stan was far away. He couldn’t face him knowing his best friend had been right the entire time and he had to learn it the hard way instead of hearing him out all that time ago. He’d rather be in his father’s dentist chair than face Stan anytime soon. 

“You ok, Rich?” 

Richie shrugged even though Bill couldn’t see. “Try absolutely heart-broken, Billiam.” 

Bill’s end went quiet until he let out a sigh. “I know this is hard on you guys but Richie, try to understand that this is really i-i-important to Eddie.” Bill echoed Eddie’s sentiment and Richie felt a tear try to escape. He was right. He’d been as jerk to refuse the break Eddie had offered. Living independently seemed like something that meant a lot to his…-to Eddie. 

He hated to admit it but he waited around for Eddie pathetically for the whole twenty-five minutes it took for him to arrive. What really put the nail in the coffin was the fact that Eddie buzzed. As permission to enter the apartment building they were supposed to be living in together. He insisted that Eddie not knock once upstairs, just walk in the damn room.

The front door closed alarmingly soft but Richie picked it up nonetheless and his head snapped up. The sight he took in was to be expected but still extremely painful no matter what. Eddie seemed unable to let go of the doorknob, eyes watered to the point of boiling over. He slowly raised himself off the couch and made his way over. He gently reached out and unclasped Eddie’s hand for him which shocked the smaller man. “Let’s talk? Before you go.” He soothed. He then guided him inside.

The pair made themselves comfortable at the kitchen counter and stood their in silence for a few seconds. Eddie’s eyes dragged over the homework scattered around and couldn’t help but smile at the glass of Chocolate milk. It made Richie blush. 

“I just want to say that I’m sorry for being such an ass.” Richie swallowed under Eddie’s watchful, wide and watery eyes. “You…you were trying to be honest with me and I-….” 

Eddie shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize. I sprung this all on you and just expected you to….-Well, I don’t really know what I expected.” His shrug rolled flawlessly off his shoulders and they both let out a long sigh. 

“Ed’s, I don’t want our life together to start out like this-” Richie gestured between them, thinking of the strain lingering there for some time now. “So if this is what you want…-Something we need then it has to happen.” 

Eddie licked his lips and looked away briefly. “You should get out of Maine, Rich. You belong somewhere…big in personality.” He chuckled a little. 

“Correct you are, Eddie my boy-” Richie habitually grinned before letting it fall off his face. “This place…this school-” He gestured to the homework “They’re not where I should be…where we should be.” 

Richie and Eddie’s eyes met once more but both seemed far too nervous to keep the contact. Both opting to stare off somewhere else. “I was selfish to ask this to be a break-to ask you to wait for me…”

Richie stood up straighter and frowned. “Ed’s no-…I was stupid for threatening a breakup…”

The two of them stared each other down again, both barely holding it together. It was pathetic really-the two of them standing in the crappy kitchen with tears just streaming down their faces. “I want you to live, Rich. That good, fast life that’s meant for you. I don’t want you to be waiting for me-”

Richie remembered some Billy Joel song, it played far off in his head. ‘You’re only standing there 'cause somebody once did somebody wrong. But you’ll be sleeping with the television on…’

“I don’t know what to say…for the first time in my life, huh?” Richie pathetically giggled but choked it down when Eddie grew even more concerned. “So, we thinking a divorce…or…?” Richie tried to be falsely cheer but it only seemed to break him in the last possible way. He hiccuped and bent forward as a sob wrecked his body. Eddie ran to him, he always did so. 

And the two men stood in a shitty apartment kitchen and gripped tightly onto each other. Crying into Eddie’s shoulder or Richie’s chest. Whichever, didn’t really matter because soon that great option would be gone and anymore tears they shed would be coddled alone.

                                                    ~~~~~~~

After Eddie left the place, Richie completely broke down in his living room in a mirrored way to Eddie’s breakdown in Bill’s apartment…though it took them both around an hour to truly let it flow…at almost the exact same time…they broke… 

A small glass of perfume sat on a dresser in the guest room housing Eddie. It was the small and delicate glass with a large daisy stopper blocking any leakage.

It sat there, absolutely still, as a pair of hands quickly picked and pulled from the array of products sat around it. But with that speed came clumsiness and the hands just darted to fast on the pull-back of some papers and down came the bottle. Knocking it off the counter and revealing the ring of dust that had been living underneath it.

Eddie paused for a moment before peeking over the lip of the dresser to find the tiny bottle. The rounded broken piece was rolling just the slightest bit while the rest of the tiny shards bathed in the small puddle of the scent leaking out.

That perfume had once belonged to his mother, her favorite scent. He’d taken it with him upon leaving for school that first time because…it was a sort of comforting smell. Call it pathetic aromatherapy? It gave him a sense of her old coddling. Kneeling down, he intended to start cleaning the mess up but he hesitated. The tip of his finger laid frozen in the burgundy puddle as a wave of emotion fell upon him. He’d been holding back on truly coming to terms with what his mind and body ached for. But looking at the old shattered tie to his smothering mother on Bill’s hardwood floor…the gate was opened without his permission.

A flood of tears finally broke past his eyes again and rolled down his cheeks, the heat from his previous restrain could almost burn his skin. In an instant he was near hysterical. His breathing was rapid and short as it became harder for him to push-back the devastation. More then anything in his life he wanted to call Richie…he wanted him with him. But at the same time he was desperate to shove him away entirely and gain some damn independence…let Richie breathe.

The palm of his hand curled over his mouth in an attempt to block some of the sound from breaching the thin walls of Bill’s home. He did not want Bill to hear any bit of this breakdown, he didn’t need to see him so…sad. He was already taking him in until he got back on his feet and he didn’t need anymore stress so he just needed to be strong, he was usually extremely good at that. It was enough that he’d broken down when facing the love of his life. There’d be nothing more now.

A deep breath or two and he was off the floor and on his way to collect a dust-pan and broom.

But as always, Bill Denbrough seemed to sense the trouble and came to Eddie. 

‘Fuck’ that broke Eddie again. Bill took his second ‘little’ brother into his arms and they both swayed. Bill, who wasn’t scared of anything at all in the eyes of his best friends…feared for these two. He looked up, some of Eddie’s hair catching his eyes, and he hoped to anything that would listen that Richie and Eddie will work it out. The Losers Club had always just assumed they’d be together forever since they were little…just the same as they assumed it for Ben and Beverly when they found each other. 

Richie and Eddie were far too young to be going through a divorce.

                                                    ~~~~~~~

Richie curled up on his couch, going from mindlessly watching the Food Network to sleeping to the sound of ‘Friends’. His eyes burned from all the shitty crying and staring at his laptop screen. He’d even managed to get that homework done. But now he was at a loss. 

Part of him ached to call his parents. They’d know what to say but it gave him the same dread that calling up Stan would. 

If he came to them crying, it only further hammered in the point that they’d been right all along. Marrying your sweetheart in High School was a bad idea. Who knew? 

Richie was awakened by the sound of the buzzer. He shuffled out of bed and let whoever it was come up, hoping it was Mike. He was the best of em’ and he always had something kind to say even if you’d been in the wrong…Mike was always on your side. 

When the knocking came, Richie eagerly walked to the door and…

“Hey.” 

Stanley Uris hiked up a bag slung over his shoulder and smiled gently. Richie kinda wanted to throw up just the same as he wanted to hug him. “Big Bill told everyone, right?” Richie smirked and nodded to himself, bouncing on his feet. “Come to tell me how right you were-? Tell me that if i’d only listened to you this never would’ve happened-” 

Stan took the bag of his shoulder and set it near Richie’s feet. “You know me better than that, asshole.” He frowned but opened his arms wide. It was a sight that drove Richie back into his fucking tears. He fell into the arms of his friend and sobbed again and again until it was time to breathe. 

Stan rubbed a hand through his hair and tried to calm him. “You’re gonna be ok, Rich.” 

                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So life went on the way it always does for The Losers Club. Best friends. Before the start of his Junior year, Richie decided to take a good ol’ road-trip down to California for a small summer taste of it all. With him, he took Michael Hanlon who desperately needed the break. 

But as life would have it, Mike returned to Maine alone. Richie’s summer taste turned into a full-on love affair that lead him to start the hectic process of transferring schools. 

Ben and Beverly waited until graduation but left for Chicago the instant it was over. Both of them had worked internships at offices for their respective career choices and earned themselves singing recommendations. 

Stanley Uris finished up in Vermont, meeting the loveliest girl in the process, Patty. And the two of them flooded off to Georgia where Stan was eerily 100% sure was the right place. And almost instantly, they seemed to fall into the dreamiest of job situations.

Michael went off to Florida. The place which had been calling him since he was young and became a full-time librarian at one of the finest library’s he’d ever set foot in. 

Bill continued with his writing and traveled to New York in the middle of his junior year which funnily enough was where Eddie had been drawn too as well. From there, Bill met and fell for a girl called Audra. 

As Eddie started work at a nice office for Risk Analysis, Richie got his dream job at a California Radio Station. 

There were plenty of visits, phone-calls and group-chats to keep the love flowing. Because after all, Losers stick together…

Even if a once couple…married couple…seemed to drift away from each other. After the divorce papers were signed…Richie&Eddie became Richie and Eddie. 

In desperate fear, they became the most distant of the bunch. Not with the others. No. Just each other. Which was truly devastating when everyone knew how much they loved each other.

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{December, Ten years later}

“-And a real famous cat all dressed up in red. And he spends the whole year workin’ out on his sled. It’s the little Saint Nick. Ooooo, little Saint Nick!”  

Richie Tozier turned right down the next small street and seemed to forget to use his blinker. He tapped his hands against the wheel as if it were his very own drum-set and chuckled to himself. Being back in Derry was certainly a trip. 

But with the Holiday’s, it came time for Ol’ Richie to visit the parents who were still cuddled up in their tiny-town home. Part of him was kind of excited to see the little stop-and-shop piece of shit town again. It’d been a solid couple of years since the last time he’d set foot on Derry’s fine streets. 

“She’s candy-apple red with a ski for a wheel. And when Santa hits the gas, man, just watch her peel-”

Richie hit the brake far harder than intended but the minor choking from the seat-belt was worth it. Right in perfect view was…damn Eddie Kaspbrak walking down the side-walk, hands shoved into his jacket pockets. The night air was a bitter kind of chill and snow was beginning to fall. Richie bit hard into the smirk now coming over his face. 

He pulled the car close to the curb and rolled the window down. Sticking his head out, he did his best cat-call whistle (not that he did that kinda thing-ha ha). Eddie did not spare a glance, just walked a little faster so- 

“HEY ASSHOLE!!” Richie laughed wildly, still cruising slowly. 

Eddie stopped in his tracks and snapped his head to the right, eyes widening almost instantly. “Dick! That you? Didn’t recognize you in that…” He glanced over the supremely nice car with something of wonder…wanting to get his hands all over it. “Sweet car, man.” Eddie strolled forward, Richie felt his chest tighten with joy. “What happened to ‘James Taylor’?” he pouted his lips and rested his hands on the open ledge of the window. 

“Ah, Ed’s my boy. You see….-” Richie tapped the mirror with charm and tried to hide his blush. “When you’re a successful as I am-” 

Eddie hunched over slightly in laughter, bringing their faces much closer together. So close that Richie thought he might lose what little cool he had. “Good to know you stayed just as humble as you used to be.” 

They chuckled together before Richie found himself astoundingly nervous again. “Your mom drag you back here for the Holiday’s?” 

Eddie licked his lips and nodded. “Something like that-” He rubbed his finger into the corner of his eyes. “My mom died, actually. I’m in town for the um-funeral arrangements and all that jazz, baby.” He pathetically waved his hands in a mock dance. It struck Richie as odd, it seemed like more of something that he’d do. 

“I’m sorry, Eddie.” He hoped to sound genuine which in part, he was. But there was that large part of distaste and hatred in his soul for Sonia that only had grown larger over the years. 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” He looked away and shivered a little in the night air. “I was just taking a walk to clear my head.” 

“Wanna clear it in here?” Richie gestured to the empty passengers seat which was far from the picture of calm. The vehicle was decorated very closely to the way one’s home would be for the holidays. String lights around the ceiling and a Little Tree Freshener spun in fake toy-dollhouse lights hung over the rear-view mirror. It made Eddie unbelievably giddy. Such a Richie thing to do. 

“Oh definitely.” Good to know that they were still just as good at ignoring the issues in favor of the natural chemistry they had together. It was a charm that got them into a lot of trouble in the past. But Eddie didn’t mind, he walked around and hopped inside with excitement. 

Richie pulled off the curb and leaned over dangerously to open the glovebox where two Santa hats laid. “Wanna be go for matching?” 

“Oh, hell yeah. Obviously” Eddie shrugged with his toothy grin that Richie had always adored. So they sat in their seats…in red & white holiday hats…like a pair idiots. But Eddie just had to admire this long lost love of his. 

“I’m so proud of you, Rich.” Eddie let that comment slip and Richie blushed. “I watched that comedy special you did-”

“We did the right thing.” Richie interrupted Eddie no matter how hard it was to stop such a delightful giggle. His ex fell silent and time was passed in the company of the sound of the Christmas tunes and rolling tires on loud streets.

“Hey-” 

Eddie blinked up to find Richie pulling closer to the curb again and pointing. “That’s the um-that’s that bench where Bill totally flipped over on his bike. Remember? He was distracted-”

“By you and your impression of that cop. I remember.” Eddie giggled again and the tension was lifted once more. “If you go up the street a little…yeah-” 

Eddie snapped his fingers as Richie followed his direction, the bell at the end of his hat jingled. “That’s where I ran off to that night I pretended that I had to puke…” 

The park looked a little deserted and Richie had to laugh at the picture of his once boyfriend sprinting down the sidewalk, so tipsy.  

“Ben came and got me…” He looked towards the gazebo with love in his eyes. “He was really there for me that night.” He nodded and Richie decided to move on with this fun tour of Derry’s hot-spots. 

The two of them cruised past so many of the Losers Club’s old favorite places and shared everything attached to them again. 

They pulled down a lonesome street and found the sight of the drive-in root-beer place. It was still across the street from the abandoned 7/11 that used to be a CVS where no one had ever shopped. Except now, it was an open Walgreens. Both of them stared down the Drive-in….

“Still open…impressive.” Richie pulled onto the curb a bit and parked. He glanced at his friend who was now opening the car door and climbing out. “Oh, we’re going inside?” 

“Hell yeah.” Eddie leaned back down into the window, eyes wide and hoping. Richie was overcome with a great sense of joy. He shut the car off and followed the man of his dreams into the restaurant that held all their first date memories. 

                                                     ~~~~~~~

“Would it impress you to see me eat AND keep down my hot-dog dipped in the Root-Beer Float?” Richie asked, swirling his airborne dog in the open air over the sweet drink. 

Eddie giggled. “That’s disgusting. Please don’t do that for the sake of my entertainment.” 

Richie set down his dog and leaned back on the orange vinyl, thinking of Skip Larson’s flying homework assignments again. “Why did you give me that second date, Ed’s?” He asked, looking away and at his meal. 

Eddie slurped down some of his drink and grinned. “Easy. I was in love with you. No amount of vomit could change that.” 

Richie covered his grin with his cupped hand. “Thank you for doing what you did, Eddie-”

“I don’t know that I’ll ever feel good about hurting you like that, Richie. For us drifting apart like that. That shit keeps me up at night.” Eddie shook his head and Richie sighed because ‘yeah, that shit sucked’. He set his napkin down and strolled over to Eddie’s side of the booth. 

“The marriage was a mistake…” He nodded. “But you were never the mistake, Eddie.” He stared into his eyes with direct contact for the first time in a long while. It threw them both for a wild shake. “If we didn’t stop it when we did…” He shrugged. “We would have gotten too comfortable with the settling we were doing in Maine. It wouldn’t have worked out.” 

“I still feel like shit-” 

“Ok so, you feel like shit. But look at you, living a damn good life. You’re successful. You like your job-” 

“Love my job.” Eddie added because it was true. It was something he was heavily invested in. 

“Love your job. Got to New York, where you were meant to be…your soul place, I think. And hell, Eddie you’re so fucking independent. The guys talk about how proud they are all the time. I’m proud as shit too. A nice fuck you to Sonia Kaspbrak-” Richie paused, realizing how inappropriate that was considering. But Eddie only nodded in agreement. 

“A nice fuck you.” He repeated in confirmation. There was still some kind of love and there always would be but…he didn’t have to like her to love her. Maybe that was sad.

 “And I-…well, I got my radio show in California and it means so much to me, baby. We never…ever would have got that shit on the path we were stuck on. So yeah, we’ll feel like shit for losing these years but it’s better than the place we were all those years ago.” Richie threw his arm around Eddie and the smaller of the two sighed into it. “Now, I didn’t miss ya much myself-” Richie exaggerated his hand gestures. “BUT My parents, for one, missed you like crazy.” 

Eddie giggled. “How are the Toziers?” he asked, a new fry hanging slightly from his mouth. 

“Oh, my favorite old people are living it up. My mother and I have never had a better relationship, I swear on it. I talk to em’ like every other day. Just can’t get rid of them! Wentworth asks about you a lot if he’s not distracted by the other Losers which the ol’ Toziers begged me to ask them over for the Holiday’s last week.” Richie shrugged and Eddie realized just how much he missed Richie’s folks too. 

“I’m still so crazy about you.” Eddie spoke in soft wonderment and bit hard into his lip. 

“We’re in the same boat, babe.” Richie grinned. 

“Could you give me another chance, you think?” Eddie asked, still believing he deserved for Richie to be mad. “Forgive me?” He added, looking unbelievably nervous. 

Richie dunked the Hot-Dog in the float and grinned. “Eddie, my love, don’t ask such dumb questions.” He took a large chunk of the food and swallowed it down with his happy smile. “I said it before and I’ll say it forever, you’ve got nothing to apologize for. Now please, come make-out with me in the bathroom?” 

Richie held out his hand which Eddie gladly accepted. They’d finally found their way back to each other and they couldn’t wait to share the news with their best friends.