#this series has sort of helped me confirm a lot of my thoughts and feelings about bruce

[wow-thisismylifeiguess]

Got these today and read all of it in one sitting, and I’m just left screaming into my pillow

Ghost-Maker, oh how I LOVE YOU

[twig-tea]

GL odds and ends 6 October 2024

I haven't been as good at posting about shows as I wanted to be, so I'm trying a round-up format instead because it feels like a lot of GLs skirt under the radar. It's exciting that we're in a time when there's enough GL airing that it's worth doing a round-up! This was a great week for the lesbians to figure themselves out, so it feels like a good week to start. No idea how regularly I'll do this, need to figure out a cadence that makes sense.

Currently airing (with thoughts up to Oct 6):

Reverse 4 U 5/8 (Thai, Tuesdays 1:00 PM EDT, Netflix / YouTube) This week the girls finally sorted themselves and we got set up for the main plot to start next week. I was initially really stoked about this one and then a little bummed that it's not taking it's very cool premise and the stakes it establishes as seriously as it could be, but I'm still hoping it will start to have real stakes in the main plot stretch.

The Two of Us s2 ep 6/6 END (Thai, 29 Aug-3 Oct 2024, YouTube) It was so great seeing women in their 40s being romantic together but I did not love the plot of this one; I find their romantic conflicts too juvenile (lots of easily-triggered jealousy). The moments they're being sweet are great though.

Unlock Your Love ep 4/8 (Thai, Wednesdays, GagaOOLala / YouTube [cut version]) This is the first episode that this series felt a little more assured; I liked the series this production company produced with a short run time, it feels like this series has been worse off for its longer episodes. That being said, when these couples get to do their thing like in this episode, they have good chemistry.

Chaser Game W s2 ep 3/8 (Japanese, Thursdays 12:30 PM EDT, GagaOOLala) @lurkingshan is already doing a great summary of this week to week in her JQL weekly round-up!

Affair the series ep 6/8 (Thai, Fridays 11:15 AM EDT, iQIYI/ YouTube) Finally! I liked that it was Ek pointing out that Wan was unhappy the entire time she was gone that finally got Pleng to give in to her desire to be with Wan. This show is so melodramatic but the emotional threads follow and the character motivations are clear and consistent; I'm enjoying it in spite of not loving melodramatic storylines in general. It helps that the acting in this one is excellent.

The Loyal Pin ep 10/16 (Thai, Sundays 12:15 PM EDT, YouTube) Glad we finally got confirmation of Patt's history! And I'm relieved Anin knows she has an ally, though I feel like it's given her false confidence that worries me. These two are stressing me out by how bad they are at being careful but I do love how desperate they are for each other, as well as how beautiful this show is.

Red Whisper ep 2/8 (Korea, Wednesdays and Sundays, YouTube) Starting with cheating is not my fave but is par for the course with these SukFilm short series; my fave so far has been their first GL so if you haven't seen that yet I'd honestly recommend that instead.

Recent One-offs

Out of Breath (re-release in a bingeable version; Korean, YouTube) Highly recommended! Also the creator, Soo not Sue, announced she's working on another series to hopefully air before the end of the year, which I am super stoked about.

The Suffering of Xiqing Mountain (Chinese (censored), YouTube)

Sastra film app YouTube channel has several short Cambodian GL series that come out weekly Honestly they are not to my taste but I don't like gatekeeping GL especially from smaller markets. I check in on these time to time and if there are any that I think are great I'll give them a shout-out

Ditto above with JPC media YouTube channel for Thai GL shorts if there are any that stand out to me I'll say so

Recently ended that I haven't had the wherewithal to write about:

Hoshikuzu Telepath (fansub) Thank you to @yuiyuihan for your hard work making it possible to watch this series! I I haven't read the original manga but I do know they changed the kiss communication to a forehead rest; Unsurprised that this adaptation, starring idols in the same group, would be left ambiguous in terms of whether their feelings are friendly or romantic. I liked what this series was trying to say, but in all honestly didn't love the execution. It's too bad because I absolutely love the concept of an alien being helped by girls obsessed with building rockets.

The Secret of Us 8 eps [complete] (24 Jun-15 Aug 2024, YouTube) I first included this in my recommendations from the summer and then retracted, but I ended up liking this series and then never updated again. So to set the record straight: Though it lost me in the middle, the ending on this series won be back over. I really appreciated the way this series handled filial piety and balancing that against personal happiness. I appreciated SO MUCH that the main characters decided together how to handle Lada's situation with her mother. I finally understood too late that Earn believed the lies Lada's mother told her in ep1, and that affected some of their decisions in the middle of the series. I still think the execution was wobbly, but the acting and chemistry between the two leads carries this series through. This has some of the best domestic fluff in any GL, as well as my favourite GL counter lift to date. And it's gorgeous. Tentatively recommended with the caveat that you do have to either enjoy or power through the melodrama in the middle.

Starting soon:

Apple My Love, Thai, 12 October, GagaOOLala

Pluto, Thai, 19 October, VIU

The Nipple Talk, Taiwanese, 1 November GagaOOLala

My Ex's Wedding [in theatres in Thailand 14 November]

Petrichor, Thai, 23 November, TBD

[ineedhaikyu]

Chapter Five

Summary: Day 3 of Nationals was unknown territory for Karasuno as the top 16 teams continue to climb their way to the top. As Karasuno’s ace, Asahi, could feel the weight of everyone’s expectations on his shoulders and while he knows he’s not completely alone to carry the burden, Asahi found comfort in the memories of the person who became his solace.

Word Count: 5.2K

Warnings: Some spoilers from manga series. Major fluff. Slow burn. I don’t own anything. Haikyu belongs to Furudate Haruichi!

A/N: I’m so sorry for not posting a new chapter in these last five months. But it has been a difficult time for me. I’ve been promoted at my job where it requires so much supervision and paperwork. Obviously the pay is okay, but it takes a toll on my mental state. It’s a constant state of anxiety each day, and I feel like no one takes me seriously. Each day I try to write this series but it’s like all my motivation is just gone. Again, I’m so sorry for disappointing you guys.

(Y/N) didn’t realize how cold she actually was until she felt the hotel’s heated air enveloped her like a brand new blanket. But the cold didn’t bother her in the slightest. Not when she had a great time spending with Asahi that made her all warm and fuzzy inside. They talked, laughed, and even made promises for the future. 

Azumane Asahi made her feel all sorts of feelings. Excitement, nervousness, flustered and everything in between. He may be over six feet tall and may look intimidating but he was the  sweetest guy she has ever met in her life. 

If there was ever a time to believe in all the love stories and love songs, it would definitely be now. It was ironic because she always believed it was an exaggeration whenever the female protagonist would talk about her feelings for her love interest. The same thing could be said when she listened to a popular love song. In fact, she thought her friends were crazy whenever a specific song sung by a well-known American singer came on the radio. She didn’t see what the big deal was but she’ll admit it was a catchy song.

(Y/N) chuckled at the irony of it all. Maybe those books and songs about love were on to something… 

“Miss? Are you feeling alright?” The hotel concierge asked from behind her desk.

The manager snapped out of her thoughts and managed a convincing smile. “Oh, sorry! Yes, I’m fine.”

The older woman relaxed and smiled in return. “That’s good. If you don’t mind me asking, was that your boyfriend you were speaking to outside?”

(Y/N) felt her cheeks warm up under her scarf at the question. Asahi wasn’t her boyfriend but she wasn’t against the idea. “He’s a friend.”

“Oh, I see.” The lady smiled warmly when she recalled the time she met the love of her life when they were young. She can tell that this young girl is going through the same ocean of emotions she went through at one time. She looked down at the ring around her finger, a symbol of love she shared with her husband of twenty years. “Well, he seems to have a kind soul.”

“He does.” (Y/N) confirmed. “He’s a gentle giant with a glass heart. He’s the ace of his team but he keeps doubting himself a lot. I just wish there was a way I can help him… Help him see that he’s already amazing even with his flaws.” She mumbled the last phrase to herself. “At least to me…”

The hotel concierge mentally cooed at how adorable this high school student was being. If she was her grandchild, she would make her march right back out there and confess her feelings to that boy. Instead, she cleared her throat and gave the young girl what she thought was wise advice, “Dearie, this is just a thought, but perhaps instead of using your words, you should use action. Actions speak louder than words. After all, boys can be oblivious at times, especially high school boys.”

(Y/N) perked up, her eyes seemed to glimmer with hope. “Use action, huh? Hmm. I guess that could work.” She looked back at the older woman and bowed down in respect. “Arigato!”

She turned around and made her way to the elevator. Luckily, there was one still available but it seemed the universe decided she had enough luck for today as the metal door began to slide closed. 

Or maybe there was still hope because her eyes caught a person wearing a bright red track jacket inside the elevator.

“Please hold the elevator!” (Y/N) called out to the person as she sprinted her way in. Once inside, she sighed in relief before turning to the person. “Thanks for that. I owe you one.”

“I-It’s n-nothing.” The guy squeaked out a reply. He cleared his throat, hoping it was enough to get rid of the stutter in his voice. Though it only made his voice squeak at a higher octave as he asked, “W-What f-floor?”

“Fifteen- Oh, you too, huh? That’s cool.” She mentally kicked herself for saying that last part but she didn’t show it. 

“U-Um, y-yeah, so c-cool.”

They rode the elevator in silence for the first five floors. (Y/N) decided to pass the time by texting Kita and Aran that she was on her way back. She smiled to herself when Aran began to send a barrage of questions, one after another. She shifted from one foot to the other and the simple motion was enough to cause a strand of hair to fall in front of her face. Annoyed, (Y/N) tucked the strand behind her ear and continued on with her texts.

But in the corner of her eye, the guy right next to her kept stealing glances at her. He was fidgety as if he was scared of her. His hands acted like they couldn’t be still for five seconds. They were either fidgeting by his side, squirming inside his track jacket, or running his fingers through his dyed mohawk. 

‘Oh well. Maybe he’s just socially awkward. He looks like a high schooler like me, albeit a bit younger than me. Perhaps a second-year?’

Lost in her own thoughts, (Y/N) didn’t realize the effect she was having on Nekoma’s ace. 

Yamamoto didn’t know how to act. He felt as if he was breathing funny right next to the very pretty girl. He could feel his heart beating in his ears and it was getting louder and louder with each minute that passed by. The soft glow from her phone illuminated her facial features and he had to swallow the hot ball of nerves in his throat. This was exactly how he felt when he saw Karasuno’s beautiful manager for the first time.

‘Does she realize how beautiful she looks?’ Yamamoto asked himself, stealing another glance at the girl right next to him. ‘I wonder what’s her name? What school does she belong to? She has to be here for the Spring Tournament, right? Or maybe she’s here to cheer on her boyfriend? Because there’s no way a girl as pretty as her could be single. Lucky bastard!’

Apparently the last thought was enough to let out a small gruff escape his lips and the noise caught her attention.

“I’m sorry. Did you say something?” She asked kindly, turning off her phone giving Yamamoto her full attention.

“Er, n-no?” 

“Oh, okay then.” (Y/N) gave him a sympathetic smile. “My bad.”

“W-WAIT!” Nekoma’s ace all but shouted at her, causing her to jump. “A-Are you here for the tournament?”

(Y/N) smiled. “I was. I’m the manager for my team. We just lost today’s match though. My name’s (L/N) (Y/N). I’m from Inarizaki.”

“Yamamoto Taketora.” He tried to subtly puff out chest as he pointed to himself and confidently said, “I’m Nekoma’s one-and-only ace.”

He hoped his title of ace would impress her. Maybe give him a compliment or two. Or maybe even admire him for having such an important role. 

“Nekoma? Oh! From Tokyo, right?”

Yamamoto felt like he was on cloud nine, ten, heck maybe even twenty because the pretty girl knew about his school which means she must know how much of a powerhouse his school is. 

(Y/N) continued. “That means you’re up against Karasuno!”

“Um yeah?” Yamamoto was taken aback at how excited her voice became, especially when Karasuno made its way into the conversation. He had a sinking feeling that she already had a favorite team. “Wait? You said you were from Inarizaki? Didn’t Karasuno- Well, um, beat your team today?”

“Yeah. It was a close match but they won fair and square. Plus, they’re great people. I hope they make it far in this tournament.” (Y/N) then winced and offered an apologetic look. “Not that your team isn’t good, Yamamoto. I’m sure your team is cool too.”

“Thanks but we’ll show you how cool we are tomorrow. Maybe you’ll change your mind on who to cheer for.”

(Y/N) smiled at how confident Yamamoto became in such a short amount of time. He was the complete opposite with his Karasuno counterpart. And while she might sound biased, she thought Asahi was the better ace. 

Still, she didn’t want to crush this guy’s confidence especially when his match is tomorrow. Luckily, the elevator came to a slow stop on the fifteenth floor. 

“Well, good luck tomorrow, Yamamoto. I think you’re going to need it.” 

And with that, the Inarizaki manager made her way down the corridor and entered her hotel room. She didn’t realize how her words seemed to cast a spell on the wing spiker. Yamamoto stood there, almost rooted to the spot. Soft elevator music filled the air but the only thing that held his attention was the Inarizaki beauty that wished him luck, minus the part where she was obviously a fan of Karasuno.

Yamamoto sighed, clearly frustrated. “Man! Why does Karasuno get all the cute girls?!”

With a raging fire burning inside of him, he didn’t notice the elevator doors closing on his floor until it was too late.

~

Asahi sneezed the moment he entered his room and for a split moment he felt his stomach drop. Was he getting sick? He hoped that wasn’t the case. He was just about to brush it off as a simple sneeze when he remembered a common superstition about sneezing and how it meant someone was talking about you.

A shiver of mixed emotions traveled up his spine when he thought of her. 

(L/N) (Y/N). The Inarizaki volleyball manager. The girl he fell for since day one. One of the few people who didn’t flinch or run away from him because of the way he looked. Instead, she took the time to get to know him, listened to his worried ramblings, and even gave him meaningful advice that helped him through his anxiety.

It might be wishful thinking but Asahi hoped she was thinking of him just as he was with her. And while it’s only been a few minutes since his conversation with (Y/N), he longed to see her again. A pang of disappointment made its way to his heart. By tomorrow morning, she’ll be gone, returning back home with the rest of her team.

‘At least, I can still text her. (Y/N) did say she would visit Miyagi one day. And I can pay a visit to Hyōgo too.’

The small ray of hope shined a bit brighter on the future as it was enough for Asahi to smile. 

“Oh? You’re back, I see.” The familiar voice of the innkeeper brought him back to reality. The woman gave him a brief smile before asking, “The girl you were speaking to must have been your girlfriend, wasn’t it? You two looked adorable together. I must admit, I didn’t peg you to be a romantic when I first saw you but you certainly proved me wrong.”

Asahi’s mind went into a frenzy upon hearing the woman’s words. He couldn’t help but feel uncomfortably warm and stutter out. “W-What?”

The female innkeeper chuckled at how obvious the high school boy was being. If he wasn’t the epitome of a boy in love, then she didn't know what else could be. 

“Oh, don’t be so modest!” She told him. “Girls love nothing more when their boyfriends make the effort to be romantic. I say you did well. Dare I say, confident even. Your friends were trying to peek and listen in but I sent them back to their rooms. I’m sure a couple like yourselves wanted privacy.”

Asahi opened his mouth to correct her whole perception of him and (Y/N) but for some reason he didn’t. Instead, he thanked the woman with a bow.

The innkeeper smiled at him. “Keep it up, young man! And good luck on tomorrow’s match! Make your girlfriend proud of you!”

Stuttering out another thank you, Asahi left the small lobby and made his way to his room.

“Hey guys! I’m back-” 

“ASAHI’S BACK!” 

The volleyball ace could feel the metaphorical spotlight shine on him when he was surrounded by his friends, each of them asking all sorts of questions.

“What did you guys talk about?”

“How was it?”

“Hinata said you guys were holding hands, is that true?”

“Did you kiss her?”

“Asked her to be your girlfriend?”

“When’s the first date?”

Overwhelmed, Asahi was grateful when Suga and Daichi put an end to the interrogation. They led him to the outdoor balcony where they had a good view of several illuminated skyscrapers. His eyes automatically looked at the sky, hoping to see a single constellation or at the very least the North Star. But he was greeted once again by the cloud-filled sky. 

The disappointment didn’t stay too long when he let his eyes wander to the exact spot where he and (Y/N) had their conversation. He smiled to himself when he saw the outdoor string lights that helped serve a warm atmosphere; he didn’t blame the innkeeper for thinking they were a couple. 

He just wished it was true.

Like clockwork, he felt Daichi and Suga flank on either side of him. He didn’t have to look at them to know they wore identical knowing looks. Instead, he placed his arms against the balcony and waited for the questions to start.

“Sooo?” Suga began, grinning up at his friend. 

“How did it go?” Daichi asked. 

“It went okay.” Asahi said as he rested his chin on his arms. “We talked about today’s match. I wanted to make sure (Y/N) was actually okay.”

“And was she?” Suga asked, genuinely curious since he knew Asahi was worried about it earlier today.

Asahi nodded. “You were right all along, Suga.”

“See? You had nothing to worry about! That just goes to show you should count on me for relationship advice! What else? I need more details.”

“Calm down, Suga.” Daichi laughed at his friend’s barely contained excitement. “Didn’t you learn anything when the innkeeper scolded us earlier?”

“That was you guys?” Asahi asked them with a chuckle. “I thought Nishinoya and Tanaka would pull that stunt. But you guys?”

“Hey! In our defense, we… Well, we… Daichi, tell him our defense. You’re good at defense.”

Daichi rolled his eyes at Suga’s poor excuse. “We were nosy. There. That’s our defense. But someone just had to be extra extra nosy-” He gave the vice captain a quick glare. “-That the innkeeper caught up on what we were doing and sent us back.”

Asahi laughed at his friends as he could only imagine that moment. He replayed his conversation with (Y/N) once more and a soft smile played on his lips. “She wished us luck for tomorrow.”

“Really? That’s nice of her. Is she coming to watch our match? I bet you would want her to cheer you on from the stands.”

It was a nice thought but Asahi knew better.

With a heavy sigh and an equally heavy heart, he told them how (Y/N) and her team were leaving tomorrow morning. He waited for his friends to say something that would cheer him up but was greeted with silence. Until, Daichi spoke what was on everyone’s mind.

“Well, that sucks.”

“Yeah.” Asahi couldn’t agree more with his situation. “Am I a bad person for not wanting (Y/N) to go back home?”

“Course not!” Suga exclaimed loudly. “I think it’s normal. I mean it’s not like you have no support. You have us, the team, the coaches, and the fans.”

“But it’s different when it comes to (Y/N),” Daichi suggested, catching on to what Suga was doing. “She already means a lot to you, huh?”

Asahi felt his ears turn red and he wished that his hair was in a low bun to hide the obvious giveaway. Still, what they were saying was the truth. He would have liked nothing more for (Y/N) to be there tomorrow, cheering him on. He wanted her to see that their agreement still stands. A promise where he’ll do everything he can to help his team win. 

It’s hard to explain it but he always had trouble seeing himself as the team’s ace. Obviously, he can see why he’s the ace as he dealt with persistent blocks, less-than-ideal sets, or nasty serves most of the time. But sometimes, when his anxiety was too much, he had doubts about his abilities. He couldn’t voice this to Daichi and Suga or to anyone on the team, he hated being an inconvenience.

He was- No. He is grateful that he met (Y/N). Someone who understood him and his problems. Someone who sees more than the title of ace on his shoulders. Someone who took the time and effort to get to know him.

“Yeah. She does… More than she actually knows.”

Asahi didn’t notice the way his fellow third-years shared a knowing look behind his back but if he did he wouldn’t care. He was a storm of emotions on the inside. It was almost funny how this new year was treating him and it hasn’t been a full week yet. Whatever the case, he counted his lucky stars to have made it to Nationals. 

~ The Next Morning ~

The sun’s morning rays were the first thing that greeted him when Asahi opened his eyes. It took him a moment to realize he wasn’t back in Miyagi, sleeping in his own room and yet it hit him all at once of all the events that happened in the last 48 hours. 

Asahi sighed, swinging his arm over his eyes and letting himself smile when he thought about her. (L/N) (Y/N), the third-year manager of the Inarizaki volleyball team. In the few encounters they’ve had, she never failed to bring a new perspective, which he found refreshing compared to his usual anxiety-inducing outlook on life. 

His heart began to beat a bit faster when he remembered every little detail from last night. How she tugged her scarf a bit tighter each time a breeze blew by. How the snowflakes danced around her, while a few of them were caught in her hair. In his eyes, the snowflakes looked like mini diamonds in her hair, sparkling each time they caught the light of the outdoor winter illuminations. Or how she would tuck her hair behind her ear whenever she got excited- Wait… Now that he remembered that detail, Asahi recalled (Y/N) did that a lot during their conversation last night. She smiled a lot too… And the hug she gave him, wishing him luck on today’s match…

Feeling the tips of his ears begin to warm up, Asahi sat up on his futon. His hair tickled the back of his neck, a few strands made their way in front of his face. He let out a yawn before running his hand through his long hair. And by that simple action, Asahi was reminded how sore his body actually was. Especially his shoulder. Despite his body begging for more rest, the ace slowly but surely got up and headed to the bathroom. 

He was greeted by his own reflection in the mirror. His long brown hair was definitely giving him a wild look. He’ll have to make sure his hair looks decent today. After all, he didn’t want to look savage wild. More like cool wild… If that made any sense…

Asahi let out a quiet groan when he removed his shirt, the very shirt (Y/N) bought him when they first met. After carefully folding his treasured shirt with great care, Asahi looked at himself in the mirror where his eyes immediately found a three-inch bruise on his shoulder, a reminder how intense Ojiro Aran’s spike was. He gently pressed his fingers to the injury and grimaced at how sensitive it was. The ice pack he used yesterday did its job but it looks like he might have to ask Kiyoko for another one. He looked at the rest of his toned body, hoping there weren’t any other major bruises like the one on his shoulder. To his relief, there wasn’t any except for the minor bruises on his forearms and biceps. Bending his arm back and forth a few times, Asahi noticed how large his biceps were. Have they always been this big? They weren’t obscenely large but it was enough to compliment the rest of his body. He looked… Strong. 

‘Does (Y/N) think I look good? I mean, she did call me cute last night. So that’s a good thing. But what if she was being nice. What if she likes guys with huge muscles?’ Asahi frowned, before shaking the thought away. ‘Maybe I should work out more...’

Asahi began his morning routine and while his body moved in automatic motion, his mind kept replaying what (Y/N) told him last night.

‘First, you can stop feeling bad. I’m okay, really. And second, if you really want to make me feel better then take the win. Take it and do the same thing tomorrow. Play each set and win some more. I promise if you do that, I’ll be more than okay because I’ll be rooting for you.’

‘Win the next match for us.’

‘Think positive! Remember you’re not alone. You have your friends and the rest of your team that you can rely on. And if it helps, you have me too.’

‘I might not be there in person but I’ll be cheering for you.’

‘You got this Asahi. I know you do.’

Asahi closed his eyes and took a deep breath, replaying (Y/N)’s words on loop while also imagining the warmth of her hug, the sincerity in her eyes, and genuine kindness in her smile. After a minute, the ace opened his eyes. He made eye contact with the mirror’s reflection of himself.

“You can do this, Asahi.” 

~

When he returned to his room, he was surprised to see most of his team already up. Maybe he wasn’t the only one with nerves. It was the third day of the Spring Tournament and if what Coach Ukai told them was true then today was going to be hell because both the third round and the quarterfinals are to be played today. 

So if they win against Nekoma, an already great team, then they will have to compete with another powerhouse school who most likely have been to Nationals each year. 

“Morning, Asahi.” Suga greeted as he was making his way to the bathroom. 

“Morning, Suga. Are you ready for today?”

“Give me half an hour. Nishinoya kept me up with his snoring and I think Tanaka was talking in his sleep. I think he was dreaming of being in a match because he kept saying ‘nice receive’. I still slept okay but I woke up again at around 5 A.M.”

“Why?” Asahi asked. 

“So you know how my futon is close to the outlet where we all charge our phones?” Suga asked, a yawn quickly following afterward.

“Yeah.”

“Well, someone’s phone went off, waking me up way too early! And you know how I am, when someone wakes me up before I actually have to.”

“Oh, yeah. You’re not really a morning person.”

“Exactly!” Suga mumbled as he tried to rub away the sleep from his eyes. “I didn’t even care whose phone it was, I just grabbed it and put it on silent mode. No one should be calling anyone that early in the morning.”

‘Well, there goes my plan to call (Y/N) right now.’

Suga made his way to the bathroom, leaving Asahi to wonder what his next should be. Perhaps he could just check his phone for any messages he may have missed… Maybe… Just maybe he might be lucky to find a text from her.

The moment his phone lit up was when he felt like the luckiest guy on the planet because it was there on his phone’s screen that he, in fact, did receive a text from (Y/N). He quickly tapped on the message and waited with a rapidly beating heart and bated breath to see what she had to say.

New Message from (Y/N) (5:20 AM)

Asahi! I’m so sorry for texting you so early in the morning. I tried to call you but I guess you disconnected or something? Again, sorry about that. I probably woke you up and you need all the sleep you can get for today’s matches. I just wanted to talk to you but I guess this message will have to do. 

First of all, I really wanted to be there and wish you luck. But I’m sure you and your team will give your opponents a hard time. 

Right now, I’m sitting on our team’s bus, getting ready to go back to Hyōgo. The coaches are taking their sweet time though but for some reason I’m okay with that. I don’t want to leave Tokyo… Not yet at least. 

Anyways, this message is getting too long even though I have so much more to say to you, but I’m sure you need to focus. Just remember that it’s okay to be nervous. You’re not carrying the burden alone, okay? You have your team. 

P.S. Is it weird that I’m still looking at the sky for stars? Obviously, I’m not an expert like yourself but I think little-kid-you would be proud of me. Good luck. I believe in you.

Asahi couldn’t help but smile widely when he read the last part of (Y/N)’s message. He felt like his whole body was glowing with positive energy. Maybe he can do this- No. He will do this. For himself. For the team. And for her.

He checked the time and realized that it had been almost two hours since (Y/N) had sent her message. Not wanting to waste anymore time, Asahi clicked her contact number and waited to hear her voice. He counted each second that passed by as his phone dialed her number. Ten seconds have passed when his phone connected the call. There was a brief shuffle and Asahi wondered if he woke her up. 

“Hello?”

This was definitely not (Y/N). In fact, it sounded familiar. Asahi wracked his brain to try to match the voice with a face. It had to be one of the Miya twins. But which one?

“Uh, hi? Um, is… Is (Y/N)-san there?” 

“Yeah, she’s here. Who’s askin’?” 

“Err. This is Azumane Asahi. I’m trying to return her call-”

“Azumane? Why does that name sound so familiar? Oh! Wait! Karasuno’s samurai, right?”

Asahi let out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, that’s me. And you’re one of the Miya twins, right?”

“Guess which one, samurai. If you answer right, I’ll wake up sleeping beauty-”

“You’re Osamu.” Asahi wasn’t sure in the beginning but he was absolutely sure that this was the calmer twin. “I think your brother would have ended the call after knowing it was me.”

“Atsumu can be an ass sometimes but he means well. It’s just that… (Y/N) is more than just our manager to us. She’s our friend. We want her to be happy and from what I’ve seen you’ve been doing a good job at that. Especially what she did last night after you guys had your little talk.”

Asahi furrowed his brow. “What do you mean-”

“‘Samu? Who are you talking to with my phone?”

“In my defense-”

“You have no defense.” Asahi smirked at (Y/N)’s quick retort. He can only imagine what kind of expression she was wearing. He wondered if (Y/N) was the kind of person that loved her sleep. Was she an early bird or a night owl? “Hello? Asahi, is that you?”

Her voice sounded soft-spoken yet rushed, as if some cosmic misfortune might happen to prevent them from talking. Which to be fair wasn’t so far-fetched but hearing her voice once more made it all worth it.

“(Y/N)! Hey!” He cleared his throat, trying to sound somewhat calm. “I saw that I missed your call but I was asleep and-”

“That’s completely my bad, Asahi. I should have known better than to call you, especially on a day like today but I couldn’t help it.”

“No, no. It’s okay. I’m actually glad you called and thanks for the message you sent. It helped a lot.”

There was a sigh of relief before she spoke again. “I hoped it did. So how are you feeling?”

“Better than yesterday.” He confessed. “I don’t feel like I need stomach medicine before the match.” 

(Y/N) giggled and Asahi swore his heart stirred around his chest. “Well, that’s a good start. How is everyone else? Is everyone ready to play two matches today?”

His brain short-circuited. He couldn’t find the ability to talk till he heard (Y/N) call out his name. “Two matches? Isn’t it just one match?”

There was silence on the other end of the line and Asahi hoped he heard her wrong. He already had a small pit in his stomach going against Nekoma today but if what (Y/N) says is true then…

“I… I thought you already knew.”

“So today…”

“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but that’s why they call day three of Nationals, Hell Day. The third round and the quarterfinals are going to be played today.”

“... I think I’m going to need that stomach medicine.”

“You can do this, Asahi. Believe in yourself.”

Asahi smiled to himself at her words. He hoped when the moment comes, he can share her confidence. He just hoped that moment was soon.

“I wish you were still here.” He admitted, wanting to let her know how he felt (at least somewhat). “You guys must be halfway back to Hyōgo.”

“Well… About that-”

“Everybody! Downstairs! We need to be there early to practice!” Coach Ukai’s authoritative voice filled the room before he left.

“Sounds like your coach is getting antsy.” 

Asahi laughed. “Tell me about it. I think he was up all night watching old Nekoma matches.”

“He’s not the only one. Nekoma’s libero is very skilled. So be careful with him even if you spike the ball past the blockers. Oh! Nekoma’s captain is going to be so annoying with his blocks but don’t get discouraged when you get blocked. Try to do some wipes or rebounds if you can. Wait! I have my notes in the other room. Don’t hang up!”

Asahi had his mouth open the whole time (Y/N) started giving out pointers. Did she do research on Nekoma prior to Nationals? She had to, right? Just in case Inarizaki played against Nekoma, right? Because there was no way she went through the effort of researching-

“She did it for you.” It was Osamu again. “Stayed up late last night. Watching Nekoma’s matches over and over again. Said she wanted to help your team but I think we both know she did it mainly for you.”

“I-I don’t… I swear I didn’t make her do that.” Asahi said earnestly.

“Course not. You’ll see soon enough (Y/N) is the type of person you’d want in your life. Shit, she’s coming back. See you later, samurai.”

“Later?” Asahi didn’t have time to question the twin’s words when he heard the phone being picked up.

“Hey, Asahi, are you still there?” (Y/N) asked.

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

‘With you.’

[runawaymun]

Hey! Any advice on writing multi chaptered fics or just longer stories?

I feel like I'm okay for like snippets but have no idea how to write the middle of a story or move a character or story from point a to point b.

And asking you because you're writing is phenomenal and I'd love some advice.

(But if no brain space for advice I totally get that too and feel free to hide this ask or something)

(Anyway great updates on boundless and the one shot Brimbrond)

Sorry for taking so long to respond to this! I just wanted to take some good time to gather my thoughts because oh man oh boy I am a bit of a nerd about plot structure, even if I pants it a lot of the time -- because middles and structure absolutely plagued me when I was a beginner and so I spent a long, long time studying it and breaking it down.

I'm going to start with some very, very basic advice and then get into some more specific stuff. So let's talk first about how to structure a long-form plot first.

DISCLAIMER: this is how I personally structure plots. More often than not I veer off my own track. And this is a very western way of structuring a plot. It's well worth looking into how storytellers from around the world structure their work because it can vary wildly (Miyazaki is a great example of this). Take this with a grain of salt. It's a guideline which I find helpful. This is going to get very, very long. Bear with me:

When I'm first thinking about how to create a plot around a story I want to tell, this is the process I walk myself through, and it tends to work about 75% of the time for the stories I like to tell (I'm not much of a thriller or mystery writer and those tend to have different kinds of structure). Main recipe is as follows:

Status quo - establish the setting and the character. Do this by the middle-to-end of chapter one, preferably. You can get away with drawing it out a bit in sci-fi or fantasy works that require more worldbuilding, but try not to.

Inciting incident - I won't tell you to start in media res, as that varies from writer to writer and story to story. Generally you want to have this somewhere in chapters 1-3. Say we're talking about LOTR - I'd say the inciting incident is when Bilbo goes invisible at his birthday party and leaves for retirement. Everything sort of snowballs from there (Gandalf confirming this is The One Ring, the Ring being passed to Frodo, the adventure beginning, etc. etc). This is where your character can lose something, or be confronted with a huge problem, or gain some new information. This is the point where your story really picks up.

Point of no return - your character has been presented with a problem or is put in a situation and now they have to decide what to do about it. Sometimes characters choose to run away, or choose inaction. It's up to you and your character as to what they do next.

The annoying part - the most helpful way I've ever found to think about middles is in terms of a series of decisions and consequences. Your character must decide what to do (or try to get what they want), and this will then come with consequences to those decisions. I ignore a lot of writing advice because writers seem to be very cagey about how they compose middles and plots for some reason, but the one piece I heard that helped me was: "What does my character want, and what stops them from getting it?" -- and this can be anything, right? Frodo wants (has to) take the Ring to Mordor. Luke wants to learn to be a Jedi like his father. Inspector Poirot needs to catch the murderer. Odysseus wants to return home. Each of these characters are going to make a series of decisions toward their goal, and they may be working from incomplete information, or bad paradigms, or racing against the clock, or against impossible odds. They're going to make mistakes. Over and over and over again. The middle is a series of decisions, consequences for those decisions, and obstacles (more on that later).

Point of no return 2, electric boogaloo (i.e. the actual midpoint to the story) - the part right before the climax -- the climax IS NOT the midpoint of your story, nor is it the end. This is your midpoint where Everything Fucking Sucks. Your character's back is against the wall. They have to change, or fail.

Paradigm shift: your character learns something new, or develops in some crucial way that leads to:

The climax/confrontation: 3/4 - 7/8th of the way through your plot. Frodo decides to keep the ring. Luke uses the force to blow up the death star. Anakin's fear and the manipulation from Palpatine overtakes him and he turns to the dark side. Inspector Poirot gets his last crucial piece of information and gathers everybody together for the Big Reveal. Odysseus gets home and chases the suitors out of his house. Etc. Etc. This is that Big Point in the story we all think as the most important or crucial point (but it's not. That's the key here. THE most important point is the whole middle of how we got here).

Consequences and paradigm shift 2 electric boogaloo: varies from story to story, but this is the fallout of the last decision or confrontation. Your character may reflect on what they've learned. The killer goes to jail. Frodo returns to the Shire and it's saved, but not for him. The journey your character has been on has irreparably altered them, or the world around them -- for better or for worse.

Resolution: the place where you land the story ;) what is the final impression you want your readers to have of your character, or this world?

Alright so that's all kind of nebulous. Let me give you a slightly more specific form of this plot structure that I use pretty often, because I almost exclusively write character and relationship-driven stories since that's what interests me most:

So most of this looks much the same (the inciting incident is some kind of meetcute. The characters then have to decide if they want to have some kind of relationship -- I like to name this part the callback). Then we have a whole weird squishy section of building interest and tension, before once again we have The Big Fight (darkest before the dawn or what have you), before one or both characters have some kind of paradigm shift, they confess their feelings (or resolve the fight or whatever), and the security of the relationship is established -- happy go lucky times, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

So the middle here is of course still squishy and nebulous, but the focus here is still on "What decisions are the characters making? What are the consequences of those decisions? What are they learning, and how do they respond to it?" Maybe the tension is in one character being more reticent, while the other is more open. Maybe the tension is a sexual tension (will they, won't they?). Maybe a character is working off of incomplete information, or a misunderstanding, and that needs to be cleared up before the relationship (or even their own personal growth) can progress (both Elrian and Thalionel in Stars and Boundless Sky follow this pattern). The middle is a push-pull between your character's desires and outside forces that are stopping them from getting what they want, or achieving what they want to achieve.

So okay, that's all well and good. That's basic plot structure. Let me get into my thought process about middles specifically:

Begin with your ending in mind. I do not mean that you need to have like the whole resolution to your story fleshed out. If you're that kind of writer, great! But if you're more of a pantser like me, then that can be a big ask. Instead, ask yourself: what do I want my character to have learned by the end of the story? How do I want them to have changed, or grown? Do I want it to be for better, or for worse? Is there a specific plot goal you have in mind? (saving the world, or catching the murderer, solving the mystery, exorcizing the ghost, the couple getting together at the end, the found family finally gelling with each other, or whatever).

Once you have that thought in mind, now start to think about what your character might need to get from their starting point to their ending point. If it's a murder mystery, this is your information gathering section. You can lead your character to wrong or right conclusions. Have them make mistakes. Etc. etc. If it's a romance, this is where you create a string of scenes where the characters have opportunities to interact and learn more about each other (works for platonic slowburns, too). If this is a traditional hero's journey, this is where you plop in your actual journey.

Not to repeat this ad nauseum, but your middle is all about getting your character to your end goal, but in the most difficult way possible lmao. Let them make mistakes. Let them make bad decisions -- and then follow through with the consequences of those bad decisions. Give them bad information. This is where understanding your character's fundamental flaws becomes extremely important. Your entire plot, imo, stems from your character's fundamental flaws -- because ultimately that is what is going to slow them down the most from reaching their goal. Sure, you may have the big bad evil guy (bbeg), but we're not worried about him. That's an external factor and that's easy to drop in when you need a quick problem to place in front of your protagonist -- but that problem needs to be in service to your character or your worldbuilding. Teach them something. Give them an opportunity for growth. Aragorn needs to lead at Helm's Deep so he can inhabit his leadership role. The mountain pass of Caradhras needs to force the Fellowship through the mines so that Gandalf falls fighting the Balrog and comes back leveled up and ready to fight, and other characters in the fellowship have a chance to grow into their roles without relying on Gandalf for leadership. Your middle is all about crafting little opportunities for character growth, always while moving toward your end goal -- whatever that may be.

The paradigm shifts are crucial, and they can shift for better or for worse. It's up to you and your characters and the story you want to tell as to which it'll be.

If you're bored, your reader is bored. Only write what excites you, skip all the rest, and make it make sense at the end -- I'm so serious. Yes you need to add in breaks for pacing (like the whole Rivendell section in LOTR), but in those breaks still make sure that you're either expanding your worldbuilding, or giving your characters and opportunity for growth.

If you want to tell a really long (novel length) type of story, sideplots and alternate POVs are your best friend. They are structured exactly the same as a regular plot, they're just simpler or smaller and generally work in service to the main plot. Maybe there are side characters or side relationships you'd like to develop. Maybe there's a smaller mystery or a part of your worldbuilding you'd like to explore. Action plots can be side plots to romantic or platonic slowburn plots, just as much as it can be the other way around. And this is not something you need to structure out the gate. Just be curious and playful. Find points in your story that interest you, and explore them a bit. You'll find that they expand the story.

Biggest and best tip I can give you, when all is said and done, is to decide what kind of story you want to tell and then examine how other people are doing it. If you want to write a superhero story, pick out your favorites and look at how they're structured. If you want to write a mystery, same thing. If you're writing a romance or a drama, again -- same thing. Look at the pieces of fiction that you like, figure out what you like about it, and then apply it to your own work.

That's all the general advice off the top of my head. IDK how helpful this was lol. If you want more tips on middles I can try to look at it a bit more in depth, but to be quite honest middles are really what defines a genre. Romances have different middles to thrillers. Thrillers have different middles to mysteries. Mysteries have different middles to dystopian sci-fis. Etc. Etc. So take the general advice with a grain of salt and look more specifically at the genre of story that you're looking to tell.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk <3

[pikahlua]

I've been in the dkbk fandom for 3 years and my husband is an anime only. We just watched the new episode and he was disappointed. He predicted that Star will die and the plot won't really move forward. He's a sci-fi fan and he's seen many a series fall apart after more characters, complexity, and a war are introduced. I've been avoiding spoling the manga for him but since he's lost interest, I spoiled him and confirmed that the manga has been in a holding pattern for 2-3 years with this final arc. I told him what you said about Bk's death and Deku losing his arms as being symbolic but he said those actions being reversed lowers the stakes and it's hard to maintain emotional investment if you know that major plot points will just get reversed. I wanna believe in Hori but I'm waiting for payoff instead of enjoying the story. Is what's happening really good storytelling if this final battle has been dragging on so long and Deku's characterization has come to a halt?

I’m hesitant to answer this. I said I wouldn't answer any asks that were looking to me for reasons to keep liking MHA, and I really don't want to encourage more asks like this--and yes OP, I don't know if you realize it but that's basically what you're asking. You've framed this question around your husband's opinions, but you're couching your own thoughts inside.

If your issue is that you and your husband like different media, then that's a marital issue to resolve; accept that you shouldn't always watch all media together, particularly if doing so isn't fun for both of you. But your husband doesn't like what's going on in MHA, and this is enough to make you doubt whether or not MHA is written well? Despite the fact that many, many people like MHA in its current form? That sounds more to me like you agree with your husband. It certainly doesn't sound like you tried to sell this story arc to him.

I decided I'll answer a question like this this one time because it'll help me summarize my feelings on these topics, though I'm sorry to say the topics I address may not be what you expect.

"We just watched the new episode and he was disappointed. He predicted that Star will die and the plot won't really move forward."

Is this really a surprise? I don't remember anyone being all that into this arc when it first came out. Everyone was saying Star would die, and yet most people did not correctly predict the actual outcome of this fight--that Star's quirk would be eliminated and Tomura would be weakened. Most guessed Tomura would steal Star's quirk and become overpowered.

"He's a sci-fi fan and he's seen many a series fall apart after more characters, complexity, and a war are introduced."

You mention sci-fi but uh, has your husband watched like...any other anime? Ever? At all? MHA is far from the first shounen anime to do this. You can't really make your husband like MHA if his problem is that he came to an anime restaurant and got upset when there was nothing but anime on the menu.

Seriously, MHA is not doing all that much different with its ending than what Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood did, and that's one of the most critically acclaimed shounen anime of all time. If he's predisposed to dislike the stuff anime does, that's not a writing problem. That's a mismatch of anime with his tastes.

It strikes a nerve with me because I grew up loving anime and was bullied for it by people with opinions such as your husband's. Now, the mainstream-ification of anime has drawn those same sorts of people to anime for whatever reason, and all they seem to wanna do is complain about anime being anime. Take sci-fi for example: I typically hate outerspace-themed media and the concepts such media often explore, and you know what I do? Not watch it. I've decided such media is not for me. Honestly, the same is true for a lot of anime too. I am very picky about anime because there are some tropes or themes I'm just sick of.

"I've been avoiding spoling the manga for him but since he's lost interest, I spoiled him and confirmed that the manga has been in a holding pattern for 2-3 years with this final arc."

This is where it sounds like you primed him with your own feelings, because it certainly doesn't sound like you were selling him. I don't even know what this means. "A holding pattern"? Do you mean the arc has just been going on a long time (see: welcome to anime being anime)? Or do you mean not much has happened with Izuku? Because I am getting a bit of a sense that your issue is you're an Izuku fan and his growth has been slow because the arc has had to wrap up all the other characters' arcs first. Because a lot HAS been happening with all the other characters (and we recently got some Izuku progression too).

The only other thing I can think of is an opinion I've had for a long time. I think a lot of anime fans don't realize they're not actually manga people. You watch an anime you like a lot and you wanna get up to speed, so you go to the manga not understanding that the manga is different from the anime. The pacing is different, as is the presentation and focus on details. The manga presents one or two story points per chapter, whereas anime episodes are 2-3 chapters compressed into one sitting. The anime's major selling point is its fast pacing, but this is not a selling point of the manga--of ANY weekly manga. "2-3 years" means very little in the context of a 15-page-a-week-AT-BEST manga.

"I told him what you said about Bk's death and Deku losing his arms as being symbolic"

The symbolism angle is one thing. I've never really understood why people like any media without symbolism--that's what gives a story its flavor, isn't it? If we're talking about tropes and familiar story structures, the artist's approach to familiar items is precisely what makes it unique and interesting to me. I wouldn't become invested enough to care about Katsuki's death if all that mattered to me was the surface-level event.

But are you saying you spoiled the fact that Izuku lost his arms? That's...not that big of a plot point to spoil if you ask me. Certainly not one I'd bring up as one of the greatest hits of this arc. This is another detail that makes me feel like you're particularly focused on Izuku, which is not a bad thing nor is there anything wrong with that, but Izuku doesn't actually feature very much in this anime season all things considered. It's hard to sell anyone on what's currently happening with Izuku in the manga since we just got to his stuff and it's not complete.

Again, this was what happened with Fullmetal Alchemist. The last arc covered the events of one day that ended the final war. The main characters were only occasionally featured and didn't do all that much in the season until the very end, as one would expect. When it was coming out in manga form, the pacing was admittedly very weird because of this storytelling choice, albeit it felt a bit different from MHA since it was a monthly manga and covered more ground per chapter. But when the same arc was adapted to anime, the feeling and pacing were very different, and a lot of iffy elements improved on me as a result.

"he said those actions being reversed lowers the stakes and it's hard to maintain emotional investment if you know that major plot points will just get reversed."

Is your husband someone who watches things only once and then can't rewatch and enjoy them ever again? Does he only watch stories for plot twists and once he knows the twist he stops liking it?

I don't understand this general obsession with consequences and stakes a lot of people have. Sure, they are elements that can contribute to a mood or feeling in a story, but they're far from the make-or-break linchpins so many people make them out to be. The "reversals" are major plot points too. I find much more enjoyment in trying to follow why a writer would do such things and what they're trying to say than wondering how likely some character is to die or how many people will be brutalized.

I'm in the camp that believes spoilers should not make a difference in whether or not I find a series "good" or whether or not I can invest in it. I personally have played video games specifically BECAUSE they were spoiled for me and it sounded like I would like them, and having those major things spoiled for me did not detract from my enjoyment at all. I'm not saying everyone has to be like me, but I do certainly think a story's ability to persist as an impactful and memorable work has very little to do with its stakes and everything to do with how it handles its story and characters. Was Star Wars memorable and beloved because of how many people were at risk of dying in it? Was something taken away from the story when Luke got a robotic replacement for the hand he lost?

Goodness, didn't the MHA fandom predict for years that Dabi was Touya Todoroki? And wasn't everyone just waiting for the reveal to fucking happen already so we could get it over with? And wasn't the entire fandom surprised and enthralled when the Touya reveal did happen precisely because it was handled in such a unique and cool way with Horikoshi's flair? Did predicting that twist really ruin anything for the story?

A good story is a good story.

"I'm waiting for payoff instead of enjoying the story."

I can't know what payoff you're waiting for. I've enjoyed all the events and details along the way, even if there were some expected dips here and there. When I went back and reread the entire arc in one go, the pacing really hit me differently and I got a lot out of it. If you're not enjoying the story, that's not about whether or not the story is employing "good storytelling." I've enjoyed plenty of stories that were told poorly and sloppily because there were other redeeming features that appealed to me. This is about preference. You and your husband have your own personal preferences, and that's okay! But you both have to manage your preferences with respect to each other and to yourselves.

"Is what's happening really good storytelling if this final battle has been dragging on so long and Deku's characterization has come to a halt?"

If you're actually interested in whether or not MHA has "good storytelling," I'd suggest you take a creative writing class or otherwise learn about the way stories are told in different media i.e. novels vs comics vs TV shows vs movies vs video games. But I honestly don't think that's what you mean. I think you're looking for permission to keep liking MHA even if you personally don't like its storytelling or how Izuku's character is currently being handled. I can tell you from experience that yeah, you can. Plenty of people do it all the time. Some people get so frustrated with the stories they like they write fix-it fanfiction. Some people appreciate the way a story is so perfectly written that they cannot build a fandom around it because they can't come up with anything to add. It's going to depend on you and how you want to approach the situation, and while I'm happy to talk about what I like about MHA and which writing choices I think are well made, that's not going to get us very far if you don't like the same things.

I do often find media that I personally think is not written that well, and like I said, sometimes I like it and sometimes I hate it, but if it's a piece of media with a large fanbase like MHA, I have a hard time calling its writing universally "bad." If it speaks to that many people in some way, clearly there's something about it that reaches people effectively, and who am I to judge? I'm certainly no expert in quality of writing. All I have are what I've taken away from my education in literature/writing, my years of experience with many anime that came before MHA, and my thoughts on all the other media I've enjoyed. My experiences will lead to different conclusions than others'. I know I don't like a lot of what's popular with most people, so I certainly can't hold myself out as some paragon of good taste.

It's okay to like or dislike whatever for whatever reason. I don't always stay with the same fandom. I move around when I find new and good things. I sometimes come back to old things I loved and like it anew or find it underwhelming as I currently am. As of right now, I'm actually willing to say something I never was before, which is that MHA might be one of the best-written manga if not the best manga I've ever read. While FMA is top-tier, its themes are a lot safer than MHA's ambitious goals. MHA was always going to be controversial in some ways just because of what it attempts to do, such as telling its story through comic book-themed superheroes. It also says a lot of political things that risk alienating readers. The levels of risk MHA takes are part of what makes it amazing to me and what makes it a worthwhile piece of art to enjoy. I'm so happy it exists, flaws and all. No story will be universally loved, and that's something I accepted a long time ago when I decided I wouldn't let the bullying stop me from liking anime. All I can hope to do is have the courage to love the things I love and the grace to leave alone the things I dislike for others to enjoy.

[halliescomut]

Love Sea Ep 2 Thoughts

Okay. I've had some time to consider the episode, organize my thoughts (potentially) but I think this still might be a bit of a ramble....sorry.

So we do start off right where we left off where they're coming back on the boat, and they're talking on the beach. I mentioned in my watch along a lot of these thoughts, so I'm kind of just expanding on them, so it might be helpful to read that first. But I've taken an interest in a lot of the body language happening in the show, and looking at the scene it gives me this feeling of Mut sort of invading Rak's space, but just enough.

Like their legs are entwined, but there's decent distance from their upper bodies, which given Rak's hesitation to get too close, or be too charmed by Mut really works for me. Given the scene prior, and Rak's sort of level of upset, it feels pretty clear that Mut is working to kind of distract Rak. And Rak basically jumps on that opportunity. It actually kind of reminds me of Sky in that way, like we don't have a confirmation of Sky's general MO in regard to sex, but the ONS read a little bit to me as an intentional decision to distract himself. I get that same feeling here, Rak doesn't want to think about why he reacted as he did, or consider how vulnerable he made himself, and so he kind of thinks by jumping into a sexual experience that will distract both him and Mut.

I have (as is kind of always the case with Mame) reservations on the kind of D/s undertones she uses. I got to be honest, part of the issue is the weird commitment to putting Peat's character in the more submissive position (she did it with Sky too) I honestly don't find that it suits him or his characters well, and is based solely on his body type versus his personality. Setting that aside for now, I will say that I appreciate direct expression of oral sex. In LITA specifically (I know I'm calling back to that a lot, but it's hard not to use it as a comparison, specifically for the NC scenes) we saw two separate allusions to oral sex, or honestly we were robbed of two NC scenes involving oral. The ONS, where Pai doesn't let Sky give him a BJ, and then the bathroom scene that ended up getting cut where we see Prapai giving. I made this observation (among friends, not publically...I don't think) that I think the intentional exclusion of that specific sex act in Thai BL leads me to believe there's a particular reason why it's not included. In terms of MM sex we see your standard penetrative sex pretty regularly, and then small sprinkles of handjobs in general, but oral is almost never even alluded to, much less shown. Now I'm honestly not super caught up on a lot of Thai BL, but I would say I've seen more direct expressions of oral in the last year, than I had seen in two years prior since I got into Thai BL. So overall I think it's a step in the right direction in encouraging a more well-rounded and accurate depiction of the gay experience.

In terms of the actual physical acting of the scene...I'm gonna say C+. It's less about their facial expressions and more about positioning and timing...in a way. I will salute the decision for oral sex if you're doing it on a beach, because that is going to be your least chafe-y option.

Following this we get a return of the humor with Rak saying they need to go back to the hotel room immediately...Clearly leading Mut to believe that the sexy times will continue, but they do not. Rak starts writing, we don't get insight into the specific scene, but I do wonder if the written scenes mirror the IRL experiences or not. Like how similar are they? During that time we see Mut basically pouting and then googling Rak. This gives us our first suggestion in the show I think that Rak is basically a self-insert for Mame. And we see the covers for The Boy Next World as well as Love Director, two novels that 'Rak' has written and are being made into series. He follows that up by checking what looks to be basically Rak's Instagram, containing many pictures of Rak looking incredibly attractive and then basically excuses himself to take a shower.

Rak finishes his scene, and I'm not really sure if he's kind of run out of mojo, or if he's just done with that scene in general, but he goes looking for Mut and he sure does find him. Now I did miss the arm movement initially and thought we were just appreciating the rear view so to speak, but then you realize that Mut is in fact jacking off.

Overall, it seems a case of "Well, we've already crossed the line" and we have the most minimal discussion of terms. I'm not a person who cares at all about the sexual decisions that adults make, but as someone who is close friends with people who have and continue to work in the sex industry, it is of course not a necessarily safe way to go about those types of negotiations. This is not a dealbreaker for me by any means in regards to watching the show, I genuinely don't expect anything overly realistic, it's just an observation.

Moving on to the main event as it were, the sort of antagonistic flirting is on point, which with Fort and Peat is not surprising. They mentioned that Mame gave them an opportunity to do what felt natural for their characters and I do feel that in the conversation and acting in the shower. Once we move back to the bedroom things move very quickly, and while I think the scene is very good, it doesn't feel passionate in the same way the earlier scene does, or previous NC scenes we've seen from FortPeat as PrapaiSky (except for one in particular and I'll get back to that). I'm not personally sure if this was an acting choice, if it was just how the scene ended up, if it was directing, I truly don't know. I think though it really fits the situation in a particular way. The almost emotionless sex feels appropriate because they don't truly have feelings for each other yet, not really. Flirting and attraction aside, there's not a true emotional connection, especially on Rak's part. And I'm sorry, but it reminds me of the ONS in LITA. It's the only sex scene we see of Prapai and Sky where there are positions where they aren't facing each other, which creates an emotional distance. It's why we see missionary position so often in BLs even when that may not be the go-to position for MM sex. Having characters face each other creates an emotional connection.

The choice makes sense if you consider that both Rak and Sky are going into this sexual encounter with the intention of maintaining emotional distance. And even Mut and Prapai at this point, while intrigued by this very attractive person, aren't coming into it from an overly emotional place. So, overall I do think in this scene it's a vibe that really works for me, and I'm interested to see how these scenes change as the characters open up more to each other.

Once Rak is done, he's very definitively done and sends Mut away, but does admit to himself that this Mut is one of the best he's ever had.

We then cut to the next day and get more of what I personally call Mut's village rounds, just him going around and talking to different people from the community, and we see more interactions with Palm, the bartender from episode one. They're interactions are really cute, I actually really enjoy him. He has good doofus energy. Anyway, after that Mut heads to the hotel because Palm told him that all the single staff there were trying to 1- figure out Rak's sexuality and 2- potentially woo him because he's rich. So Mut is there sitting with a group of ladies, to Rak's eyes he's flirting, but we don't hear much if any of the conversation, so it's unclear if there's actual flirting or if it's just Mut's general charisma. I also don't think we've gotten any specific clarity on Mut or Rak's sexuality in terms of whether they are gay, bi, or pan. I personally suspect that Rak does not feel attracted to women, but that's my own read on it. Mut is harder to nail down, but we haven't seen nearly as much of him in a flirting-approriate situation. But back to the point. Rak sees Mut with the women, he hears hotel staff talking about how he's a catch or something (I skimmed over that on the second watch, sorry) and he's jealous.

We see a peek at Rak's impulsiveness here (like the beach and the shower, and even the robe scene of last episode) and he sends Mut 65,000 Baht which is $1,771 in USD, so not small change, and basically comes up and stakes his claim on him. We get more of Peat's English here, and I'm guessing we might get more of it when he returns to Bangkok, or maybe just more if we see more conversations with Connor. I have feelings about the whole "I paid for you, I don't share", as discussed above, but I do think it gives insight to Rak, and the kind of slippery slope he's found himself on here.

Mut leaves with him after agreeing to feed him and we do get an adorable montage of them on the motorbike. While the tone of the episode shifts throughout, I don't feel like it's quite as abrupt as the previous episode, and I think the motorbike scene really sets up the future of Rak kind of finding some peace not only in Mut, but also in this rural community. Once they arrive at the area where the restaurant is we get the joke that the motorbike ride set up, which is that it may not be the best mode of transportation if you spent the previous night engaging in pretty vigorous anal activity. Fair enough, and the teasing there from Mut using his Southern dialect is downright adorable, but what's most interesting is we get confirmation that both Mut and Rak are out in their communities.

While this is not necessarily surprising with Mame, outside of her university set stories most of her characters are reconciled of their sexuality from the start. They may not necessarily be publicly out, but they're aware of and enerally accepting of their sexuality and even confident in it. I actually think Mame's spectrum of where people are at in their coming out journey is one of the better aspects of her shows, as it gives people at all different parts of that journey characters they can relate to.

We re-encounter Palm here, he's kind of similar to Mut, or at least Mut a few years ago, a less than flush native of the island who works whatever odd jobs he can find. Rak finds him a bit annoying which is fair, but I did enjoy the small bit of teasing between Palm and Mut. I think they have a pretty cute bro relationship. Once they go to sit down Rak (and we the viewer) get to meet another community member who heaps quite a bit of praise on Mut for his work and contribution to their community. Mut's shy reaction is very sweet and the scene overall offers a glimpse to Rak of the person Mut truly is, beyond the shameless flirt.

We also get backstory for Mut, learning that he had a falling out with his father at 15, leading to him leaving that home. It's not clear if his sexuality may have been a factor, but homophobic parents have been present in Mame's work before and are something that very sadly continues to be consistent in many queer kids lives IRL, so I don't think it's farfetched. This particular scene is one of the most well-acted I think we've gotten from Fort in it's minimalism. I think Fort feels comfortable with the flirty-charmer character type, and the way he holds himself, how he schools his face, his tone, as he talks about the fallout with his father is so well done. His eyes too, Fort does a lot of really excellent acting with his eyes. What particularly felt accurate to me was the sort of emotionlessness that we see. Experiences like he had, particularly with a parent are really hard to reconcile. As humans we want to have a loving relationship with our parents, more specifically we want to be certain they love us. When it becomes clear they don't, it's a very difficult thing to accept, in particular because it's necessary to simultaneously recognize that you are not at fault in the situation. That's kind of why most people require actual therapy to work through experiences like this. But when that's not an option, the way you deal with it is usually dissociation. You can't dwell on it, let it get to close, because then it will cause a problem, so you keep it at arm's length. That's what we see here with Mut, and what Fort portrays so well. We also get one of the most heartbreaking lines in Mut saying "My dad never takes back what he says. I suppose that's the only thing we have in common." Mut is proud of being a person who keeps their word, we see him mention it before, and we now see that it's a trait with a direct connection to his father. Seemingly the only potentially positive connection he can create there.

For Rak's part, we see those little cracks forming in those walls, he recognizes Mut's vulnerability, he's practically appalled at the idea of Mut's father kicking him out, which based on what we can presume is a very close relationship with his mother, sister, and niece, is understandable. He doesn't understand that betrayal from family really. But he's starting to see Mut as a more well rounded human being, versus the way he'd initially saw him which is solely a potential sex partner/distraction. We then start to get our first bit of insight into Rak when Mut asks him why he became a writer. In the voiceover we hear that he started writing to escape, but his spoken response is that it started as him just wanting to share stories he loved with people. Given that his chosen genre is romance, he wanted to escape to these happily ever after love stories, and share them with people who also want that, because to him happily ever after is only a fantasy, it's not attainable in the real world. Peat's body language is wonderful here, the crossed arms, and looking off kind of the side instead of meeting Mut's gaze directly show that he's being deliberate in how much he's sharing, but in the end I think he still reveals more than he intended with his answers. Mut questions if he's happy, and Rak says that if he weren't he wouldn't be Tongrak, the writer, to which Mut replies "That's all there is to life. And you've been doing a good job". Now I kind of feel like there's nuance missing in the translation, but I'm not the person to address that. But the sentiment seems to be 'happiness is what's important, and by valuing that you're doing a good job' and Rak is very touched by that. He says he doesn't recieve compliments very often, and while I don't know if that's fully accurate given his success and handsomeness, there's a great deal of difference in someone complimenting your work or your looks and someone recognizing that that you're doing a good job as a person, especially a person with a traumatic past. Being a survivor of any kind of trauma creates a lot of pitfalls that are difficult to overcome and create even a semblance of a normal life, and so having that effort recognized, even if not directly is really affirming. We see Rak very intentionally return this compliment to Mut, which communicates a level of recognition.

This conversation also kind of confirms for me that Rak is a bit of a self-insert character for Mame, especially considering that he brings up criticism that his stories get. I've never directly seen or encountered it, but I have heard rumors of Mame getting upset and even responding to negative critiques of her work. Her use of more problematic tropes is a valid criticism, and while I can see some progress from one series to the next, I do also feel like she falls back on what's "easy" instead of really trying to push her stories into more positive directions. While her sexuality is her business, she is a woman writing about gay male relationships, and honestly sometimes it's unrealistic to the point of being distracting. As I've said before, I don't truly expect realism from Mame, but her stories are meant to be in the genre of realistic fiction, they're not fantasy or sci-fi (leaving TBNW out of it for now). It's also very important to recognize that many gay men who watch BL do find some of the tropes she often uses to be damaging, both because they portray gay men in not the best light, but also because they set up potentially problematic expectations in young queer or questioning men who might partake in her stories.

We then cut to night again, joining Mut at home and he's trying to weasel information out of Kom, who does ask Connor, but Connor refuses to give any, only telling him to ask Rak himself, which I appreciate. We can suspect that Connor is kinda trying to matchmake here, but I appreciate him being a good friend to Rak and not revealing his secrets. In the end he calls Rak and invites him diving and we get to the last portion of this episode. Let us pray I can fit my thoughts in a single post.

Now aside from how honestly weird it is that Rak showed up for diving in a small fortunes worth of luxury jewlery (why?), when he sees Palm there as well he gets a little upset, seemingly because he thought there was potential for another hookup. Which I guess is fine, but why would you think diving is the code word for that, when it's literally part of how Mut makes is living? But moving on, they get out into the water, Mut get's Rak all set in his gear and as he's going to get Palm to help him get his gear on Rak goes ahead and dives (that impulsiveness again!). Setting aside my frustration with Rak's fully dangerous decision here, we do get a really lovely little scene of the underwater flora and fauna. Things take a downturn when Rak has a series of flashbacks. It's not really clear what triggers them here, but we see three scenes back to back. First his parents arguing, when he's quite young...8-9 (?), then him comforting his sister, both of them late teens it looks like (they look to be in school uniforms, but could potentially be college), after her boyfriend leaves her after finding out she's pregnant, and then with his mother again, the final sentence is a bit garbled, and not translated in the captions, but logically I think it's something along the lines of "Don't trust in love, if you don't want to end up like me."

As a child, watching two women he cares for deeply suffering because men that they trusted to love and care for them simply didn't would certainly put a bad taste in anyone's mouth about love. So we've kind of identified the catalyst for why Rak doesn't believe in love, even having witnessed it with Kom and Connor. Though I understand in the book there's perhaps some insight into negative feelings related to that relationship, and Kom "taking Connor away". I haven't read either Love Sea or Love Sand, so this is based off of conversations with people who have, so I could be wrong, but I don't think it's a stretch to think of Rak grappling with negative thoughts related to Kom and Connor, even if he's recognizing that those thoughts are a bit ridiculous. It's normal to mourn the loss of what was easy and comfortable when friends find romantic partners and you have to figure out what the new normal is, you just have to make sure you keep resentment and negative feelings under control and don't let them fester.

I will point out though, is that one cinematic choice that's made here is having the sort of washed out blue tones of the flashbacks match the underwater coloring. It keeps the scenes from being too jolting as they cut back and forth, an dI think it was an excellent idea.

Due to the flashback Rak kind of panics, looses his regulator and Mut basically finds him just in time. Giving him some mouth to mouth oxygen before getting him reset so they can go back to the surface.

This type of scene would have been very difficult to film, even if it wa managed in a single take, which is kind of unlikely, and so massive props to Fort and Peat for doing some amazing work here.

Returning to the boat we see Mut become very serious about how dangerous Rak's actions were, but that seriousness is balanced with a lot of empathy as well. I can't fully express my thoughts on the metaphor I feel like is intended in the "they need buddies" conversation, but there's something happening there. Mut does try to talk about why Rak panicked, but Rak shuts him down and we get a convo about the wordplay that is their names instead. Mut here is trying to lighten the situation a bit, and I think Rak kind of recognizes that, but is too stuck in his darker memories to really let it happen and he says something I don't know that he means to. That "Love is a figment of our imaginations". And he believes that, and you can see that Mut know he believes it, and his reaction is the most "Oh sweetie" look I've ever seen. (Seriously, Fort's expressions are always so fantastic). The moment is broken when Rak pulls a Kim Theerapanyakul and says "I'm hungry" and walks away.

We do get s teensy post credits scene which returns us to the restaurant where Rak sadly finds out that at many fresh seafood restaurants those tanks aren't just for ambiance (Bless you red fish for nourishing us) and we get some more good natured flirting from Mut "Will you eat me if I'm tasty"...boy if you don't.

Now we saw this same kind of thing last ep, where we ended on a pretty serious tone, go the end title screen and then a more humorous scene after. I think it's kind of intended to leave us as an audience on a more positive note instead of just wandering through the rest of our day traumatized and sobbing.

As we see the actual credits roll we get confirmation of my suspicion that the scene might change and progress as the episodes go on and indeed this episode we see Mut join Rak at the beach at a companionable distance. A bit curious to see if we might also have a change up when they go to the city.

Overall this was an excellent episode, clearly much to unpack (as you can see by this 4000 word post. It's well paced, the acting is very good, we're kept engaged as an audience. I didn't talk much about P'Vie and Mook, but I'll make a much shorter separate post for that.

[des2dream]

My Thoughts on The Noble Trials & The Strict Professor

Warning! This may include spoilers!

Alright! Alright! Let's cut to the chase! For the longest time, I've been trying to figure out which series is my favorite among the many audio dramas/roleplays of @zsakuva. Granted, it's not an easy task considering how good each series is and the impressive amount of range that Saku has when it comes to his voice acting. No, seriously. Check it out for yourselves. I was shocked too. I thought about it for quite a while, and I can confirm that my favorite series is actually a tie between The Noble Trials and The Strict Professor. Now, I've already discussed them separately before, but I'll make this different so as not to sound like a broken record.

The Strict Professor series has the Listener attending university while they've been having a crush on their literature professor, Andrew Marston (voiced by Saku himself) for quite a while. Our story begins with Andrew confronting Listener about their latest assignment in which they made a slick comment hinting that they have feelings for their professor. Now, any normal professor would take immediate action or automatically fail this student, but no. We're not in reality right now. Andrew fully admits that they've been eyeing Listener as well and this confrontation quickly turns into a makeout session! After that, the next two episodes have this sort of fling going on between the two. It isn't until Episode 4 that they go on a "date" of sorts at a museum where they get to spend time together outside of class. Things don't really work out in the next episode because someone recorded them being together and now a majority of the university knows about their situationship. Yeah, they're not worthy of being in a relationship status at this point of the series. Moving forward, there are continuous ups and downs between Andrew and the Listener, but they do make a lot of things work as they grow together.

As for The Noble Trials series, the first episode started off in hot water with the drama, setup, and the characters. The Listener is the Earis of a kingdom called, Serulla and they're about to be crowned as the new ruler since the current queen, Roena (voiced by StephanieSwanQuills) is stepping down from the throne. It's tradition that the other nobles accept Earis to have the throne or have a contention to compete for next-in-line. It's here that Nira Atha'lin (voiced by Words By Parker/Rhonda) contents for her son, Sarl Zaros Atha'lin (voiced by Saku) to compete with Earis for the throne. The very same person who Earis despises. Now, the Atha'lin family isn't a very respected family among the other nobles due to their messy history with Earis's family in the past. It doesn't help that Zaros has been giving Earis a hard time throughout the entire night. There's a reason, though. These two have history and it's nothing but mess. We learn that Earis is a pretty problematic person and we also learn that Zaros has problems of his own. Now, they're forced to spend more time together in a series of trials with the possibility that Earis could lose the crown that they were inches away from getting in the first place. Each episode offers something new to the table when it comes to the lore and everyone involved. I also have to applaud that almost every episode has a special guest voicing a specific character.

The Strict Professor series has concluded, but The Noble Trials is still not finished yet with currently six episodes. I will say that the recent episode is my favorite at the moment. I absolutely love the storytelling that Saku presents in his audios as well as how amazing the voice acting is which makes me always wanting to come back for more. I definitely recommend you giving it a listen because not only will you love the characters, but you'll also have a genuine good time. You also might enjoy some of the other series of audios from his channel.

Other VAs from The Strict Professor: MoonlightHaven, SaejinUniverse, BethyVA, NessiAudios

Other VAs from The Noble Trials (Currently): GoodBoyAudios, SereneThorne, ScytheAudio, FernVA, HydroKingVA, shiningarmorasmr, ReverieVoz, KijoVA

[yuseirra]

Learned that onk is getting live action.. and that it probably would have some hikaai scenes. Honestly, I don't really trust this series or the writers any more. I'm just worried that they're going to confirm the guy killed Ai as a freaky monster of a stalker who idolized her and couldn't forgive her for dumping him and later even flipped out to target their own children as well(which is not how it should be the way I see it, he wasn't portrayed like that when I got back into this series)I'm just praying it doesn't get any worse than how it is now because if it does, then I really can't work with this anymore. You see how disappointed I am? I don't have a hope when it comes to this piece. I don't want to get disappointed any further. Can I be blamed? I waited out for months during the times the manga was ongoing and look what's happened. I rather things remain ambiguous if they're not going to do a good job... What the heck would be the point in writing the story like that though? I don't get the minds of these writers. Just- if you're going to talk about what idols or people in the entertainment industry goes through, what would be the point of making the boyfriend who's a minor at that time somehow...manipulating an adult to instigate an attack on his idol girlfriend?? What kind of message does that send even?? I really can't forgive them if that's really it. From how I infer, I really don't think he'd have seen any of this coming. I just picture him wishing to have sent a bouquet, Hikaru sent A BOUQUET. Just...how was that supposed to be some kind of threat? The guy would have to be seriously messed up if he really intended to murder or hurt someone while doing that. It's not really a natural flow of thought so it gets me okay? It's not really how an average person acts and he didn't seem to be that messed up then, I STUDIED psychology. Again, I lost my trust towards the writers though. They may be trying te explore the mind of a crazy maniac, might as well(that's so rude though! I find that approach rude and harmful to the industry!) At this point I'm just nervous about new updates rather than feeling some sort of hype for it. I can't expect anything good from it, I want to, make me, please.

Ugh, the writers, seriously... Ugh. Why are they like this? Really? No, I honestly think everyone could’ve been happy. But this family(?) was completely destroyed. So, I can’t help but feel irritated at how things turned out. Just thinking about it makes me uneasy. What were they even trying to say with this...?

As for Kamiki, I think Ai probably understood him best. The two of them said they were alike, after all. They probably understood each other very well. And if you look at how Ai treated her boyfriend, there was no sense of fear—there was affection.

When Aqua started pursuing acting, Ai was overjoyed and praised him a lot, right? Thinking about it, her son—who already resembled her boyfriend a great deal—was growing even more like him, and she liked that. This means her feelings toward her boyfriend were very positive. That’s another layer of foreshadowing. Look at Aqua’s name: it’s made up of two kanji for “love” and “longing.” And Aqua’s appearance resembles his father a lot. Even the names of the twins, taken from gemstones, show how much Ai cherished her boyfriend. Ai really loved him. But for someone like Ai to open her heart and love someone deeply, that person must have been truly good. Ai isn’t thoughtless—she’s incredibly thoughtful. For Ai to overflow with affection like that... judging from the flashbacks, they seemed to have gotten along well. Kamiki always looked so happy in those scenes. It seems like he’s the type to give everything when he loves someone. He must’ve treated Ai so well while they were dating. Even the lyrics of the song suggest giving everything he has to offer. So, that personality hasn’t changed—it’s just that after Ai’s death, he broke down and became twisted. Out of desperation.

In my view, Hikaru could never harm Ai. He’s not that kind of person. I think he was so shocked by Ai’s death that it completely changed him. His eyes were once big and round... but now he looks like someone possessed by some demon.

Ai wanted to raise her children with him, right? That means he was someone she believed could make that possible. In the end, even readers don’t know exactly what kind of person he was. But Ai, who stayed by his side and even had children with him, probably knew him best.

---

My reactions towards this subject of stalking and killing does come from what's been happening in my country as of lately

..to a degree. I was concerned of such crimes to begin with(and subjects like child abuse too so that's how hikaru and ai really got me to think) The recent news has been so grim, and I... honestly. That’s why this kind of story weighs on me even more. But for now, I’m choosing to trust my intuition on this. It’s too awful to put exact numbers to it, but I sometimes see this kind of news pop up in my feed. A lot of people are being stalked and murdered by their exs and I feel it's alarming and frightening. I don’t think it should be dismissed as just bad luck on an individual level—it’s a societal issue that needs to be addressed on a structural level. Of course, you could view most problems that way, but...

So... I’ve been deeply anxious, I really don't want to...make it seem like I'm portraying something like it in a pretty light. I've been very worried. Since I notice these details however, I’ll stick with my interpretation for now. I draw them because I think it's really not what's happened between them.

If the work says it's been that way all along, however, I could always take down what I have and delete it. I'm not sure if I actually will, but I'm always...bracing myself on something like that happening in canon. The moment I started drawing this ship, I had an idea of what I could be signing myself into, it was a risk for me to take. I still did it because I thought I knew what it is and I still think I must be right. Haha. But honestly, if I’m wrong, that’s not on me—it’s on the author. They wrote it in a way that invites this interpretation... and in cases like this, I’m rarely mistaken.

[quibbs126]

So I finished the last couple of episodes of Cyberverse this morning

If I’m being honest, while I really liked the Quintesson plot, the last few episodes after that were kind of eh. They were fine, but not the banger the first half was. Probably didn’t help that we moved back to the usual cast with Bumblebee, Grimlock, Optimus and sort of Windblade

It sort of makes the first half of the season feel like a weird detour, given it’s like the one time we have a completely new cast of lead characters. Which is also a shame because I really liked this plot and the characters that were a part of it

Clobber had sort of been in the background but she got upgraded to main character in this section and I thought she was great. My only real complaint about her that’s always been there is that her mouth looks weird. Maybe it’s because they felt the need to give her lips. But anyways, Dead End was fun too, I liked his whole tone and personality. So was Perceptor and Whirl (I’d go into more detail but I’m realizing I’d repeat myself because I don’t know how to specify my thoughts more), and at first I thought Soundwave would be a return back to the normal divide, but he grew on me too, and he and Hot Rod worked great together. Oh yeah, Hot Rod was fun too, it was neat seeing his angst and him having to take a proper leadership role in quite frankly a horrible situation. Still not sure how he survived the premiere though

But one of my favorite things was how when the Quintessons came in, it kind of didn’t matter the Autobot and Decepticon divide anymore, they had to work together or die, and every new character to join the group got a grasp of that pretty quickly. I think I’m grasping that I no longer care much for the Autobot and Decepticon divide and just want the two factions to come together. Maybe not every continuity needs that to happen, but this show keeps baiting me with that thought

I liked the Quintesson finale too, even if shit was just happening and I had to accept it. Like okay, Megatron’s seemingly been on a long multiverse adventure and has a Matrix. Alright. But like the conflict itself felt pretty climactic, like it could be the end of the show. Outside of maybe that final scene, saying how the Autobots and Decepticons were now to divide the planet in half for each faction. Like that’s just leading in to something else, even if I think things should have ended in complete integration of both sides (but whatever)

But yeah, then we get the last 10 or so episodes, which feel a lot different from the rest of the season and more like…I guess typical Cyberverse shenanigans? I don’t know if it’s the same or not, but to me it felt like a return to format when I liked this new direction

Like they weren’t bad, they were just sort of fine

And I don’t know, the end of the series didn’t really feel like a series end. It just has Windblade return and join her friends and that’s it, roll credits. It just doesn’t have that climactic oomph to it. I mean I guess I don’t know who would have been the villain afterwards, but still

I don’t think our Megatron was confirmed dead or not though, at least not in the show itself. We see him get his Matrix taken and fall from the other Megatron, but we also see and hear him groaning in pain, showing he isn’t actually dead yet, even if he is dying. And after Bumblebee steals the other Matrix, we don’t see him again. So it’s not clear his state of being. Though honestly characters have come back from worse, like in the premiere when Megatron was left to be eaten by scraplets but was fine next we saw him, so he’s probably still around and able to cause trouble if need be

I don’t know for sure, but I’m half convinced the writers weren’t sure whether they were getting another season or not. Like I said, the ending doesn’t feel to me like a series finale, the Quintesson finale would have fit a lot better in that regard, but I mean it could be fine as a season finale. Still a bit anti-climatic though

I also feel like it was hampered by the fact that the episodes are only 11 minutes long. The other Megatron really didn’t last long because of it. The other Season 3 specials I think got around this limitation with being multiple episodes long, but this and the Season 2 finale, along with other episodes, felt really hampered by this shorter run time, like the plot had to finish too quickly

I’m getting the notion now that Season 1 was the only season with a finale that actually felt like a proper season finale. The other two had one thing or the other that made it not feel so climactic, whether it be the unimportant plot that’s only real purpose is to introduce un-space, or the anticlimactic end of the third one

But yeah, Cyberverse was fun overall. I think it hit its stride in the first half of Season 3, which kind of put a damper on the second half but it was fine. I think the main thing hampering me was that I really wanted the two sides to just make up basically the entire time I was watching Seasons 2 and 3, but that’s probably just a personal thing and too much fanfiction

Also I have to say, I would love a Transformers game in the style of Cyberverse, it’d be really cool, at least to me

[shouldiwearmyhairspray]

Laura Palmer theory...

First of all: RIP David Lynch 🙏 funkiest man to walk the earth

I don't think the real Laura Palmer ever shows up again in Twin Peaks after Fire Walk With Me.

I don't interact a lot with the Twin Peaks fandom, so idk if this is an agreed-upon concept or a concept at all, but it's something I've thought about ever since I finished Twin Peaks. I'd like to discuss it.

Keep in mind that I haven't read the real diary of Laura Palmer or any of the twin peaks books; this theory is based entirely on the original series, movie, and the return.

Ok so, who is the "real" Laura Palmer? The real Laura is the girl we see in Fire Walk with Me, the one who has a dream/vision of Cooper before she dies. I think Fire Walk with Me is the only instance (excluding flashbacks and videos from the series) in which we witness the real Laura in the entirety of Twin Peaks; why? Well, I base this theory on the ending of the movie.

After Laura is killed, we see her in the white lodge (yes, I think she is in the white lodge). She is accompanied by her angels (I like to imagine Cooper was sort of a guardian angel for Laura, irrelevant here tho).

I believe that by being in the white lodge, Laura Palmer finally found peace, and in a more generic way to put it, she went to heaven, and she stayed there forever.

Now, episode 3. When we see a fake Laura Palmer. Why do I think this is a fake Laura? I think the lodge/red room works differently based on the person present there, and in this case, it was Cooper. He sees Laura, but that doesn't mean she is truly there in spirit, even the red man confirms this:

"She is my cousin, but doesn't she look almost exactly like Laura Palmer?"

Even the fake Laura sort of confirms it

"I feel like I know her"

I think this Laura is a manifestation created by lodge identities to "help" Cooper. Is this manifestation created by the black lodge? The white lodge? The arm? The fireman? I dunno, and it doesn't really matter in the context of this theory.

I believe the lodge/red room manifests a lot of things based on Cooper's mind. For example; in the final episode of S2, he sees Caroline and a fake Annie alongside the real Annie.

Like Laura, I believe that only the Annie who doesn't speak is the real Annie. Caroline and talking Annie are both manifestations created by the black lodge to mock and torture cooper based on his memories.

If we look at it that way, we can theorize that the first manifestations we see back in episode 3 were created by the white lodge as they were guiding Cooper. But here, in the final episode, the manifestations are being created by the black lodge to torture Cooper by bringing back his former dead lover and his new lover.

(I know the agreed upon thing reggarding the lodges is that the person/soul stays there. Maybe Caroline, Annie and Laura are stuck there. But I honestly find this way of thinking very boring so I'm choosing to ignore it in favor of my own vision of the rules in twin peaks.)

Anyways, back to Laura:

I still think this "friendly" Laura is a manifestation, and so is the doppelganger Laura. Maybe by knowing more about Laura throughout the investigations, the black lodge created Laura's doppelganger to haunt Cooper based on his new knowledge about her.

Even tho Lodge Laura isn't real, they are based on Cooper's idea of Laura mixed with the lodge's guidance/tauntings.

Now, the return...

Unlike the previous Lauras, this Laura confirms she is, in fact, Laura Palmer.

But she isn't the Laura Palmer we know from Fire Walk with Me. This is the Laura that Cooper rescued from the past; this is Carrie Paige Laura.

Why do I believe that? Well, because of her hair.

In promo material for The Return, we see that Sheryl Lee is pictured with the Iconic long Laura Palmer hair with bangs, but the Laurs we see in the show are sporting shorter hair, the Carrie Paige hairstyle we see at the end of the season.

I know that using the promo material in a theory is a bit flimsy, but I believe it's plausible.

Now, why would Carrie Paige be here? After all, Carrie herself says she isn't Laura Palmer in the final episode. Well, I believe that Carrie-Laura meeting Cooper in the red room is another manifestation created by the lodge to "guide" him; after all, that's what the lodge did back in season 1, episode 3.

"Is it future, or is it past?"

"Is this Laura Palmer, or is this Carrie Paige?"

"Laura is the one"

One interesting thing we see Carrie-Laura do is remove her own face, and inside there is light.

Unlike in season 1 episode 3, where the white lodge was helping Cooper, this time it's the black lodge, wearing a mask of familiarity and a fake Laura, repeating dialogue we already know to trick Cooper and us. This Laura isn't here to help Cooper, she is here to confuse him, to taunt him. She gives the impression of being the real Laura, but Laura Palmer is dead.

"Find Laura."

During the vision shown to Andy by the fireman, we see Laura Palmer surrounded by angels. Meaning that the real Laura is in heaven since the ending of Fire Walk with Me. But cooper doesn't know that.

The series ends with a blackout. In the lodge, Carrie-Laura removed her face, and we saw light, but it was a lie; in the end, Carrie Paige only caused a blackout.

Cooper goes back in time, creating a new timeline where Laura didn't die and became Carrie Paige. But that didn't solve anything, it was useless. And when Cooper returns the one he thinks is Laura to her old home, the one he thinks is "the one". Nothing happens, because this isn't the real Laura, and the real Laura is not coming back.

This "theory" isn't all that polished so there may be some holes in it. I'd like to hear other twin peakers thoughts on it.

[esther-dot]

I feel very conflicted and I know I’ll get hate if I post this on my blog but I just want feedback. I loved D for years after watching the show until season 8 came out and I felt betrayed. I thought it was out of character. I wanted happy romantic J x D. I saw myself in D. I’ve read the books at long last over the past year and I know I have confirmation bias. I love Sansa too. And I see myself in her as well. Deep down I know that I am far more like book!Sansa than I am like the character D really is and that the D in my head is not truly who the character is. I want to love Jonsa. I think that could be such a happy end for Sansa and I want to want that (that being specifically Jonsa; of course I want a happy end for her). But I don’t know how to shake my attachment to D and the character I want her to be. I can’t let go and stop projecting despite consciously being aware that she is not truly very much like me at all. I think perhaps because Sansa’s arc has not yet had as much direct payoff. She has not yet been able to claim power in the way D has and I think thus identifying myself with her may cast a light on uncomfortable feelings of helplessness within myself. But I’m not really sure. All I know is that logically I wish for Sansa to be my favorite and I want to love Jonsa instead of JxD and I know Sansa is quite a bit like me but I just can’t seem to embrace that. I’m not sure if I am looking for any sort of advice or wisdom or perhaps just wanting to put my thoughts out there. I’m curious about anything at all that you might have to say

I have my opinions and preferences, but there’s a difference between emotionally connecting and intellectually engaging. I’ve read loads of classic novels because I want to know what they say, why they matter, but I often fail to find them personally meaningful. That’s simply due to life experience which is why certain things resonate with me or don’t. I’ve found, none of us read the same novel, even if we agree on certain aspects or characters, there’s always something else that hits us differently. That’s not an indictment or vindication of a person because I’ve revisited books years later and my response is wildly different.

The book didn’t change, life changed me so I read it differently this time around. That's a good thing to bear in mind when we're talking about the same series for years on end, there's room for us to evolve our stances because we're changing. I leave room for that with others, I permit myself the same understanding. I hope you do that for yourself too!

Also, my sensibilities aren’t Martin’s, so even if I make arguments about why a certain thing shouldn’t/should happen, I know it still might or might not. Jon and Dany isn’t a universally accepted pairing for no reason. And even though most of what I say about Dany I tag with “anti,” that’s just because I want people to be able to avoid it if they’d like. I don’t hate her, I have a lot of sympathy for her. I think her story is full of tragedy, so I don’t think there’s anything weird about reading the books and your heart going out to her. Many, many fans identify with her, some because they too are abuse survivors. That’s why a lot of fans connected so deeply with show Sansa as well. I was frustrated before the GoT finale because the people who argued with us about Dany were actively defending her burning people alive and denying where her story was going, but after GoT ended, I went into the Dany tag and saw a few posts by more normal fans who simply loved a girl who had inspired them and helped them in their own struggles, so I understand who she is to people even if she isn’t that to me.

I loved D for years after watching the show until season 8 came out and I felt betrayed.

This was a pretty universal sentiment, and I felt betrayed too (although for different reasons, coming from a completely different direction), so I sympathize.

Deep down I know that I am far more like book!Sansa than I am like the character D really is and that the D in my head is not truly who the character is.

I think the “problem” (not really a problem, but we’ll call it that) is that Martin wants his characters to be more than one thing. I’ve said in the past, he has quite an expansive view of what one person can encompass which means, I look at, let’s say, the Hound quite differently than many in the fandom. Every bad thing I have ever said about him is true, but there are good things about him that are true too, and Martin wants both to coexist. That’s true for Tyrion (another villain), Jaime, Theon….it’s true for Dany too. She’s even more enmeshed with good things, as more good desires, than those guys, so it’s easy to let it eclipse everything else. I’ve pointed out before that with Dany, it’s always a one-two. She “saves” people, then we discover it wasn’t salvation at all. You have to be open to questioning her to realize that though.

The way the show framed her, a lot of people saw themselves or who they wanted to be in Dany, and even now, I’ll hear people occasionally compare themselves to Dany in a positive way, because for years, she was a #girlboss. We might have a lot of skepticism around that idea now, realizing it was to hide what her story actually was, but it resonated because, who wouldn’t want to be capable of fighting injustice? Of walking into a situation and taking control of it and rectifying wrongs? The problem is, in the books, we’re presented with the reality that her methods aren’t improving things, and in the show, they mute that as much as possible. When the author is trying to show the devastation of war and the showrunners opted to glorify it, the audience is gonna have a reaction that’s no longer compatible with the original intent. For instance, Arya killing all the Freys. That’s presented as a bad ass moment, that’s their view, so why would a fan realize, “but over here vengeance / unnecessary bloodshed is bad.” It’s careless storytelling, but D&D were also dishonest too. They included certain moments to justify the ending, but undermined it so fans wouldn't track it, rewrote characters to make them obsequious to Dany. And then they drowned it all in bs interviews / commentary, loads and loads of hype and marketing....they twisted it completely out of any discernible shape. Confusion is an understandable response to such contradictory nonsense. People I'm a fan of made sense of it, predicted it, but I do think y'all were lied to by the showrunners which annoys me to no end.

But I don’t know how to shake my attachment to D and the character I want her to be.

That's love though. I've experienced this so often in real life, wanting good for someone I care about, desperately wanting them to see the self-destructive patterns they have, and not being able to get them to change anything and learning to either accept where they are/who they are, or learning, I can't accept it and ending the relationship because it wasn't healthy for me to be involved. Martin loves his villains, Tyrion is his fav, he wants you to care, that's where he'll get the tragedy in Dany's ending rather than it simply being a clear cut good vs evil ending. I think he wants us to have sympathy on both sides of the coming struggle, and to have fans see the heroic path Dany could have and watch her fail to follow it and walk down a path she didn't have to choose...it's gonna make it heart-wrenching rather than cliche. I think you may be almost just where Martin wants you.

I think perhaps because Sansa’s arc has not yet had as much direct payoff. She has not yet been able to claim power in the way D has and I think thus identifying myself with her may cast a light on uncomfortable feelings of helplessness within myself. But I’m not really sure.

Obviously, I don't know you, but from what I've seen people write about Sansa, I do think her relative powerlessness is a major detractor for fans. For some it makes her boring, for others, they despise her because they're so frustrated by her not doing something. But it's a dose of reality in this fantasy world to have a character constrained by her situation and her life dictated by her gender. I'd argue that Sansa is a more impressive character for the mercy and bravery she shows even thought she is a captive herself, but I understand that's not as thrilling as other characters' stories.

I want to love Jonsa instead of JxD

Sansa has had a few crushes which are fairly...I’ll say, detached from reality. She connects to the characters emotionally by imagining them as romantic figures, less a tangible knowing and loving the individual. It’s all very daydreamy, but mainly, she's been the object of desire for creeps. So, while I disagree with them, there is a part of me that understands why fans aren't looking for her to have an actual romance because the way it has existed in her story thus far isn't tangible for her or rewarding, and of course, there's her age. Dany on the other hand, as young as she was when this story began, has had sexual partners she loves. We say Drogo was an abusive POS, we know Daario doesn't truly care for her, so I understand, with one part of my mind, that fans are looking for her to have a mutual, sexual relationship. If you love Dany, a healthy sexual relationship feels more pressing than one for Sansa, due to past experiences. It feels more appropriate due to her age as well. So, I understand why one can have hooks for you as a fan that the next doesn't. It’s always good to remember though, while we connect to these characters as if they’re people, the author is using them to discuss ideas, and they will experience, or not experience, certain things as a result.

I feel very conflicted and I know I’ll get hate if I post this on my blog but I just want feedback.

I'd like to tell you that isn't the case, but it's probably true. I still get rude messages because I'm a Sansa fan/Jonsa, and I can't imagine a situation like yours, loving both characters and being open to Jonsa but shipping J/D, would allow you to be fully comfortable anywhere. I can't assure you that my corner of the fandom will treat you with the utmost understanding either, so I'm glad you reached out this way and felt safe coming into my inbox. I find talking about things is helpful. There isn't always an answer, but it makes me feel better, so I'm happy to read your thoughts on this even if I can't offer any advice, in the hopes it makes you feel better too. 💗

[nagisasstunningpersonality]

Lemme start by saying, I don’t know if someone has said this before. Or if it’s been confirmed by the author/creator of Assassination Classroom (I would love to be informed if it was, though. I need AC content). It’s just something I noticed and thought was cool, so I decided to share:

Korosensei’s tie has a crescent moon design. To be more specific, a waxing crescent moon design.

It’s interesting because the academic year of the Assassination Classroom is widely speculated to be 2014-2015. Since Aguri and Korosensei met a year before, it’s reasonable to say that they met on March 13, 2013.

The moon phase on March 13, 2013 was a waxing crescent moon.

Aguri gifted Korosensei a necktie with a waxing crescent moon embroidered into it on the anniversary of their meeting. She put so much thought into that gift, to the point of incorporating the moon phase from the day they met. And I think that’s beautiful.

I have sad feels now.

Thoughts?

It's a neat idea! The manga was first serialised in Jump July 2012 though, so the speculation is probably a bit off. To me, it's most likely the series is set relatively contemporaneously. So you can take the original moon explosion as 2012 or 2013. There's one very specific part of the manga that does help date it, though.

Prewarning, this turned into niche ramblings.

I do not currently have access to the Japanese version of this scene, but I disagree with the fan translation here. At their own admission, they interpreted him to be talking about a specific earthquake, where in reality he just says "the earthquake". I also went and checked this with the anime, and he does not give a specific event.

I mean, the Great Kanto Earthquake happened in 1923, which would make Karma some kind of time traveller if this was true. As someone who used to live in the same rough area Kunugigaoka is set, I promise you there are a lot of earthquakes. To the point you get used to them. Most certainly wouldn't be a 'state of emergency'. No. If you're saying The Earthquake, the most likely option is the 2011 Tohoku earthquake/tsunami, still by far Japan's most devastating natural disaster in recent times. Sort of like how we might say "the pandemic" and it's pretty obvious what we mean by it.

Two problems with this, though. One is that Karma in this panel looks relatively younger. The youngest Karma could realistically have been for this timescale is 12. We literally see him drawn at that age, and his appearance doesn't differ much in those panels (civil war) - though this could be put down to being before that specific arc. Second issue: the epicentre of the earthquake was quite far north of where Kunugigaoka is set, and Karma would have still been in junior high at this point. And we do see him physically observing... some kind of disaster relief. Considering the lack of destruction (and the fact that the earthquake destroyed a nuclear reactor and caused a massive exclusion zone in the general area), perhaps Karma is somewhere in Tokyo here observing the support measures.

The Japanese government were also specifically criticised for their response to the Fukushima nuclear disaster. It's too complicated to really go into here, but in a nutshell there were some Bad and Illogical Decisions (in Livi's opinion) taken. One highlight being very arbitrary choices on what houses were part of the exclusion zone, but I digress. Point is, this seems like what Karma's referring to by "the politicians were useless".

So anyway, my bet is that Aguri and Koro met in 2012, and the moon went bye bye in March 2013. I'm not going to check myself, but I'll believe you about the moon phase. I'll be honest, I doubt this is intentional, but it's a neat coincidence at least!

[logicalalo]

Thoughts on CSM ch. 138

Alright, finally have somewhat organized my thoughts regarding this week's chapter and have some points that I would like to discuss. I would also like to add that some chapters are kinda foggy in my mind (I should definitely re-read them), so if there are errors, please let me know.

Introduction of Fumiko; Denji's bodyguard.

With her introduction and actions, yeah no, but we are stuck with her as she has been appointed to be Denji's bodyguard at school. In other words, Denji will have another figure from Public Safety keeping tabs on him. The way Yoshida explains Fumiko's job is that she will protect Denji so that Denji can enjoy a normal life. AKA since she is Denji's bodyguard, Denji can't have the excuse that he turned to CSM for self-defense. I would like to add that her addition to the cast and being another player for public safety makes me feel like the story is once again highlighting the two prominent sides of an impending conflict soon: Church of Chainsawman and Public Safety. Perhaps, we may have a school chapter soon where we can once again see the dividing attitudes of both groups via the students.

Sword Man

The first time I read the chapter (in my 15-minute break), I had assumed that Sword Man was part of Public Safety/ part of Yoshida's team alongside Fumiko, but I then realize he isn't? Or more like nothing has been said yet about where he stands. For sure not with the Church of Chainsawman. We do see him wearing the school uniform and a Twitter user suggested that he could be the one that helped Denji back during the Falling arc*. Based on his choice of words, he seems to hold CSM in a higher regard compared to Asa who he described with the words "some fresh-nobody" and almost dismissive by saying how she is the Church's poster girl. His re-introduction did bring a lot of buzz, as seen on social media, with many hoping that past hybrids from the series make a return. * Tweet about Sword Man being the one that helped Denji in the Falling Arc

Asa and the Fame

Per a discussion and agreement with Fami, Asa is now actively fighting devils while being the "poster girl" for the church of Chainsawman. Asa and Yoru agreed while each having their own reason; to protect CSM (Asa) and to kill him (Yoru). In this chapter, we see Asa looking tired with a band-aid on her face while staring at the TV. Displayed on the TV, appears to be a talk show where the host describes Asa in a positive manner. The host used the word "beautiful" and Asa repeats the word as if to confirm that she did indeed hear correctly. Yoru then shares that it's not so bad receiving recognition which Asa attempts to downplay by saying that "[they] aren't doing this for the praise...", she is doing it to protect CSM, and that it's creepy. However, Yoru sees through. We, the reader, also understand that it's not entirely true as Asa is shown smiling in a certain manner. Her smile makes me think of those smiles we sometimes make unknowingly when nervous or lying. Either way, the smile Asa gives feels questionable. The smile does low-key remind me of the smiles Yoru would make in previous chapters. Regarding Asa's development in this chapter, it looks like it could take the route where the newfound fame gets to Asa's head. I'll explain a bit below, but most of the time that this conflict is used in media, it doesn't serve the character well. It's sort of always used as a cautionary tale about fame getting to people's heads. Although, I can't blame Asa for feeling the way she did because getting recognition/praise feels good; she seen. It's human to seek approval at times because it also affirms our actions as 'correct'. I could more in-depth about this another time. On a lesser scale, something similar to what is occurring has played out. Remember the Aquarium arc? Asa was all smiles and confident when she pulled out that cell phone because she had others saying good things about her as she became their hope for a way out. Unfortunately, she fell and in came Haruka's criticism that crushed Asa. Wonder if something like this will play out again as falling at important moments has been an explicitly stated problem Asa has. Perhaps, she will deal with a 'fall' during her peak as a Devil Hunter? This is really random, but I suddenly made the connection with Mean Girls regarding Asa's current predicament. To be exact with the trope 'becoming the mask'. I think the trope loosely applies to Asa. Below are the comparison drawn between Asa and Cady (main character of Mean Girls). - Join a group that they were told to join where both were skeptical at first base on what they saw and heard. For Asa, it was Fami telling her to join the Church of Chainsawman and for Cady, it was Janis who told her to join the Plastics. - Once in the group, they become accustomed to it and lose their original self. Here it's where it can loosely apply to Asa since it's implied the fame may be getting to her head, but we still don't see the severity of it. While in Mean Girls, Cady took over Regina's role and lost herself along with her friends/ unrecognizable to those close to her. By the end of the film, Cady acknowledges that being at the top of the chain by being a plastic made her lose her way, her friends, her parent's trust, and made her feel lonely ( ex. eating lunch alone again). Cady reverts to her true self and repairs those bridges; becoming happier. Who knows, maybe Asa will also go through something similar to that as it seems to be a pattern when the problem in a story is about a character letting fame get to them (Shark Tale is another example of that conflict in media lol) I have so much more to say about Asa in general, but I think I will leave that for another day.

Fami better come back soon to clue us in a bit more on what her plan is with the church. Fami said that she wants to save humans, but her planning brings in a lot of questions. There is also the Fakesaw Man, Justice Devil being back, the weird thing that seems to be haunting/advising Haruka, and the list goes on. Only time will tell.

Thank you for hearing my thoughts which can sometimes be all over the place. I was really excited doing one of these posts since it's been ages. If you would like to talk more, don't hesitate to send me a message.

Edit: whoa it got a weird format when it’s posted.

[ophelliate]

even MORE turtle thoughts (just watched the movie again)

here's the last post and ofc, spoilers under the cut –

god where do i even begin

okay i forgot to shout her out last time but april was great !! i find it super interesting that her locker being fixed is the final shot of the movie before the mid-credits. i feel like that shot confirms this idea that april is kind of part of the turtle family and their theme of acceptance. they were both rejected by the people around them but through bonding and helping each other out, they were able to be viewed in a newer light, together

i think the theme/act of helping people is actually super crucial to the story, april revived her reputation because the turtles helped give her a story, the turtles are helped by humans to save the day because april saved their image, the turtles were saved by splinter because he cares about his boys and the mutants helped them with the mutagen ray because they realized there was more to family and belonging than any sort of violence, the entire pattern is super neat to me since well...

i feel like a lot of turtle iterations end up with the turtles thinking "we're the only ones who can do this" and it always weighs a heavy and isolating burden on them, so to see them actually receive this support and have them realize that they aren't alone in this, it seems like these guys are gonna have a much healthier upbringing than in the past!

speaking of support though, all of the mutants are in the sewers now??? they just have one big-ass cousin family?!?! bro i know at least one person will make some sort of The Family Madrigal-like parody with them, i don't know why that was the first thing i thought of but the potential is there

oh yeah and mondo had at least one rainbow bracelet i think, all of his bracelets are probably multicolored but i saw a pattern and just giggled with it

something else kinda funny was that aside from the shell-cracking, almost every turtle had a near death moment but was saved by family

like, mikey was about to be ran over TWICE (one during the Splinter flashback and again at the car mechanic fight, forgot who saved him after splinter), raph about about to get shot in the same fight before i think donnie intercepted it, and donnie was about to get completely crushed by a car before raph caught him

the only one who didn't almost fucking die (at least that i didn't notice) is leo and honestly considering past iterations, that's somehow scarier for him

during the movie, the boy i ended up focusing on the most was raph to my surprise (since tbh he was my least fav beforehand) but really i was able to grasp a lot more into each of the four this time around (which i'm sectioning because god these bullet points are long)

Mikey

my gut's telling me that mikey has a lot of potential conflict when it comes to a human life, since i think he's sort of shown as the most vulnerable of the turtles, he's always the one who wants to interact with the human world, to have a real connection to it and the people

but he's also the one who gets hurt the most often, from almost being run over, being the first one drained of blood by cynthia, and getting those black eyes. we see very clearly that he keeps getting hurt despite his goal and ideals being– basically the exact opposite.

even with that though, he's the one who perseveres and ends up being the kind of hope in the team, even if he presents himself as the silly guy, and i feel like that strength will carry throughout the series in the process

Donnie

donnie is a bit different this time around. people have already noted that he was considered the friendliest one by his brothers, which most versions of the team would give that role to mikey. i imagine that it comes from his fandom background where he may or may not have online friends (his phone had app icon colors that looked similar to twitter, snapchat and line or whatsapp).

though, it's been pointed out that donnie's interest in the human world contrasts to mikey, where he's more interested in the general culture and what is created out of them which is a bit more distant than mikey's interests.

side note but i genuinely thought donnie isn't really a stem kid at first with the problem solving he was giving in the movie, which in my head i thought would be the writer's attempts to avoid any savant syndrome qualities with him. though after thinking about it/looking through some articles, i imagine that his tech-qualities will be explored later and/or after he gets some public education.

Raph

raph was pretty interesting now that i really focused on him this time around. where, 1.) he might be the second nerdiest of the group, and 2.) he still might be a foil to leo's character.

when it comes to raph, he ends up being blocked as "anger issues" though it seems like very showmanship kind of aggression, like what you'd see on television than any sort of malice. and then it hit me: these kids were raised on martial arts/actions films. raph's favorite movie was legit confirmed to be bloodsport. i don't think raph is a violent warhammer more-so is he trying to be like the people he may look up to, which are action stars.

he also just views a lot of fiction as fact more than his brothers, like when he's the one to bring up that you're supposed to like school like in the movies. in a way, he's like a jeff winger nerd to donnie's abed.

the second thing to this is that raph seems to be the one who wants to distance himself from his family the most, though he admits to still loving them at the end of the day. he wants to differ himself from his brothers and splinter, so he does that by attempting to rebel and act like only type of "cool guy" he really knows, which luckily it seems like he enjoys doing it at least. this desire to distance himself is also likely what charges his need to be with humans, unlike mikey and donnie.

oh yeah, and something interesting is that raph was actually the first one to go to splinter when scared in the flashback, and it makes me think that something may have happened to change that dynamic to make him act the way he is now, that or its pure teenage rebellion

Leo

leo was kind of hard to grasp, maybe it was because i didn't relate to him as much, or he's just starting out, but what i got out of him now is still something that's hard to articulate.

at the start, leo was very distant from his brothers, staying in the shadow and following splinter's rules to a T. it made me wonder why exactly it was april to trigger his rebellious side and start being more in the group thereafter, but it seems like what connects leo to really anything is his own tangible relationships, or things he can really connect to in a non-conceptual way

yeah, he thinks humans are cool and wants to be with them as much as his brothers, but he puts his priorities on his family because he thinks that is all he can realistically have and doesn't strive for more. he looks up to his father since he thinks his wisdom is the best solution for his family's safety and happiness.

BUT, when he meets april, he goes "oh, pretty girl, i'll help her out" (which like, completely fair), and likely the plan was for nothing else in return. But it's when april befriends them does it really click to him that this impossible dream life is actually possible. and THAT'S the moment leo starts rebelling, going behind splinter's back, and getting closer with his brothers.

he acts on what he thinks is best for the people he loves and cares about, and his desires are more based on the people around him than himself or anything conceptual. it contrasts with raph since his desires center more around individuality than anything, so i feel like there's something that might happen between that. that or leo figures himself out before any conflict erupts in the process.

oh yeah and one last thing

in the mid-credits, when the boys are highlighted in cynthia's recordings, the boys end up being numbered out of order, where mikey is 1, leo is 2, donnie 3 and raph 4. this may not mean anything in the end but it feels a bit odd to be something non-important.

aside from that, i'd love to hear y'alls thoughts! i just had a lot in my mind and needed to put it somewhere (and apparently a lot is an understatement holy shi–)

[longtimespentinagalaxyfaraway]

And so the first casualty to the Legends declaration has been finished... </3

Finished reading Dawn of the Jedi: Force War issues #1 - 5, and kriff, I wish we had gotten more.

This was my favorite of the three arcs, and I feel like it had actually started to find its legs (or balance, ironically) with this one. Alas, this was the last arc due to the shift from Dark Horse to Marvel after Disney's purchase of Star Wars in 2012 ending the series. The creators did their best to wrap things up in a mostly satisfying way, but we close out this first era of the Legends timeline confirming what I had expected going in: It had a lot of potential, and ultimately just not enough time to spread its wings.

(Couldn't believe no one has made this meme before, at least that I can find so I made a crappy one on my own lol)

I will be turning to AO3 as soon as I finishing typing out my thoughts. If you have any recs, please do let me know :P

Issue #1 of Force War takes place a full year after the end of Prisoner of Bogan, which places it in 25,792 BBY. The series was published in 2013 and ended in March 2014, a month before the Legends Declaration. (Which I just now realized happened 10 years ago yesterday. What is time. Help.)

Gonna put the rest of my thoughts beneath a read more because there shall be spoilers.

Alas, no OT4. Not even a platonic OT4. That's probably my biggest disappointment of the series, honestly. Sek'nos gives into the dark side and carries Trill's body? corpse? off into force knows where mid battle, Tasha turns into the moon

that's rough buddy

...Tasha dies surrendering her body to the Force to protect Tython. And we don't get to see whether Shae or Tau give a kriff about either. :|

Like I said in some of my previous posts, I was mostly joking re hoping for an OT4 in a shippy way. But I wanted more platonically between who were supposedly the four main characters, or the four that were at least presented as such at the beginning of the series.

Tasha kind of got sidelined a bit, and I found I wasn't really sad at her death because we never really got the chance to know her as a character. She was super cool, and very powerful, and we knew there was tension between her family ties and her Je'daii ties... and then that storyline kind of just fizzled out.

Likewise with any sort of relationship between Tasha and any of the other characters, and any sort of relationship between Sek'nos and Shae.

I feel like this arc finally hit its stride in that the characters clearly knew each other more, but I really missed getting any sort of build up or development. What happened to the force bond that Sek'nos and Tasha had with Xesh/Tau? I really wanted to see more between everyone who had the force bond, but all we really got in the end was Shae and Tau.

Which, to be clear, I did very much enjoy. I really liked both of them as characters and felt they had a lot of potential. I liked seeing Shae use her anger but refuse to be consumed by it in the end. I thought that was really interesting to see in a Star Wars story.

Likewise, I enjoyed the relative nuance to Xesh/Tau's story. I like the balance it struck where yes, he had done terrible things, and he isn't innocent. But he was also forced into it, not given a choice, but ultimately it is his choice to sever the ties that bound him that gives him the choice to heal and grow. I would have liked to see that story progress.

Also. This line? So damn good.

All in all, Dawn of the Jedi was an interesting story that was ultimately just not given the time it needed to truly explore its era, which is a shame, because it had such potential.

And thus ends the era I labeled "Before the Old Republic" on my timeline. Next up, a 500 year jump into the Old Republic era which I will be in for much longer, lol. I think this was the shortest era on the timeline by far.

[unityrain24]

Loki's been my comfort character for years, and having comfort character has been one of my most important coping mechanisms.

When they announced the Loki Series, i immedietly became... uneasy? Especially when they said that it would be on the Loki from the split timeline in Endgame, meaning that it wasn't even going to be about the same character. And i this alternate version of Loki also had movies worth of character development just.. scrapped. Anyways this also presented another problem in my mind: since both characters were just called "Loki", if I said my favourite character was Loki, plenty of people would think it meant the Loki from the TV series, rather than the Loki that was in the rest of the MCU. Not to mention plenty of people just sort of view them as the same character. Anyways, this made me go from being uneasy to downright dreading the release of the series. And the thought of my comfort character being taken away from me/"ruined" (and me being misunderstood by others) did NOT help what was my increasing suicidalness at the time.

Mans then things only got worse when it released- it's like it confirmed my worst fears and more.

Not to mention everything I previously said coming true, there was so much more to it. The shit queer "representation" (despite the big hype marvel/journals were putting out), the "romance" between loki and sylvie (i don't even know what it counts as, incest? some strange variation of selfcest? idk) (but either way if sylvie was masc we know it never would have happened), making Loki like... stupid? a background character to his own show? Not to mention lots just seemed out of character (i do realize there were some things that were in character, like "i don't enjoy hurting people" etc, but still. there was a lot of out-of-character). And as sort of a side thing that's not that important, the whole aesthetic of the show just... didn't seem to fit what the aesthetic of a show about Loki would be called. I feel like I would have been a *bit* less angry at the show if it was called "Variant" or something, but i still would be unfashionably upset.

Also just... most of the MCU's recent things (except shang-chi, i liked that) have just... totally ruined it for me. The MCU used to be a thing I would escape to, something I loved so, so much, but what they've done recently? I hate it, which makes me hate the MCU as a whole. And it feels aweful to have something like that ripped from you.

Anyways. Sorry to sort of... take over your post? I don't want to seem rude/self-obsessed? so don't even know who you were talking about, but i relate.

(also to anyone who wants to argue & tell me the Loki series was great, please don't. I know you like it. I know lots of people like it. I see posts and fanart and fics all the time, and it just reminds me of that sick feeling inside of me)

"You look sad" yeah mcu writers completely ruined my comfort character