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runawaymun · 1 month ago

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Hey! Any advice on writing multi chaptered fics or just longer stories?

I feel like I'm okay for like snippets but have no idea how to write the middle of a story or move a character or story from point a to point b.

And asking you because you're writing is phenomenal and I'd love some advice.

(But if no brain space for advice I totally get that too and feel free to hide this ask or something)

(Anyway great updates on boundless and the one shot Brimbrond)

Sorry for taking so long to respond to this! I just wanted to take some good time to gather my thoughts because oh man oh boy I am a bit of a nerd about plot structure, even if I pants it a lot of the time -- because middles and structure absolutely plagued me when I was a beginner and so I spent a long, long time studying it and breaking it down.

I'm going to start with some very, very basic advice and then get into some more specific stuff. So let's talk first about how to structure a long-form plot first.

DISCLAIMER: this is how I personally structure plots. More often than not I veer off my own track. And this is a very western way of structuring a plot. It's well worth looking into how storytellers from around the world structure their work because it can vary wildly (Miyazaki is a great example of this). Take this with a grain of salt. It's a guideline which I find helpful. This is going to get very, very long. Bear with me:

When I'm first thinking about how to create a plot around a story I want to tell, this is the process I walk myself through, and it tends to work about 75% of the time for the stories I like to tell (I'm not much of a thriller or mystery writer and those tend to have different kinds of structure). Main recipe is as follows:

Status quo - establish the setting and the character. Do this by the middle-to-end of chapter one, preferably. You can get away with drawing it out a bit in sci-fi or fantasy works that require more worldbuilding, but try not to.

Inciting incident - I won't tell you to start in media res, as that varies from writer to writer and story to story. Generally you want to have this somewhere in chapters 1-3. Say we're talking about LOTR - I'd say the inciting incident is when Bilbo goes invisible at his birthday party and leaves for retirement. Everything sort of snowballs from there (Gandalf confirming this is The One Ring, the Ring being passed to Frodo, the adventure beginning, etc. etc). This is where your character can lose something, or be confronted with a huge problem, or gain some new information. This is the point where your story really picks up.

Point of no return - your character has been presented with a problem or is put in a situation and now they have to decide what to do about it. Sometimes characters choose to run away, or choose inaction. It's up to you and your character as to what they do next.

The annoying part - the most helpful way I've ever found to think about middles is in terms of a series of decisions and consequences. Your character must decide what to do (or try to get what they want), and this will then come with consequences to those decisions. I ignore a lot of writing advice because writers seem to be very cagey about how they compose middles and plots for some reason, but the one piece I heard that helped me was: "What does my character want, and what stops them from getting it?" -- and this can be anything, right? Frodo wants (has to) take the Ring to Mordor. Luke wants to learn to be a Jedi like his father. Inspector Poirot needs to catch the murderer. Odysseus wants to return home. Each of these characters are going to make a series of decisions toward their goal, and they may be working from incomplete information, or bad paradigms, or racing against the clock, or against impossible odds. They're going to make mistakes. Over and over and over again. The middle is a series of decisions, consequences for those decisions, and obstacles (more on that later).

Point of no return 2, electric boogaloo (i.e. the actual midpoint to the story) - the part right before the climax -- the climax IS NOT the midpoint of your story, nor is it the end. This is your midpoint where Everything Fucking Sucks. Your character's back is against the wall. They have to change, or fail.

Paradigm shift: your character learns something new, or develops in some crucial way that leads to:

The climax/confrontation: 3/4 - 7/8th of the way through your plot. Frodo decides to keep the ring. Luke uses the force to blow up the death star. Anakin's fear and the manipulation from Palpatine overtakes him and he turns to the dark side. Inspector Poirot gets his last crucial piece of information and gathers everybody together for the Big Reveal. Odysseus gets home and chases the suitors out of his house. Etc. Etc. This is that Big Point in the story we all think as the most important or crucial point (but it's not. That's the key here. THE most important point is the whole middle of how we got here).

Consequences and paradigm shift 2 electric boogaloo: varies from story to story, but this is the fallout of the last decision or confrontation. Your character may reflect on what they've learned. The killer goes to jail. Frodo returns to the Shire and it's saved, but not for him. The journey your character has been on has irreparably altered them, or the world around them -- for better or for worse.

Resolution: the place where you land the story ;) what is the final impression you want your readers to have of your character, or this world?

Alright so that's all kind of nebulous. Let me give you a slightly more specific form of this plot structure that I use pretty often, because I almost exclusively write character and relationship-driven stories since that's what interests me most:

So most of this looks much the same (the inciting incident is some kind of meetcute. The characters then have to decide if they want to have some kind of relationship -- I like to name this part the callback). Then we have a whole weird squishy section of building interest and tension, before once again we have The Big Fight (darkest before the dawn or what have you), before one or both characters have some kind of paradigm shift, they confess their feelings (or resolve the fight or whatever), and the security of the relationship is established -- happy go lucky times, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

So the middle here is of course still squishy and nebulous, but the focus here is still on "What decisions are the characters making? What are the consequences of those decisions? What are they learning, and how do they respond to it?" Maybe the tension is in one character being more reticent, while the other is more open. Maybe the tension is a sexual tension (will they, won't they?). Maybe a character is working off of incomplete information, or a misunderstanding, and that needs to be cleared up before the relationship (or even their own personal growth) can progress (both Elrian and Thalionel in Stars and Boundless Sky follow this pattern). The middle is a push-pull between your character's desires and outside forces that are stopping them from getting what they want, or achieving what they want to achieve.

So okay, that's all well and good. That's basic plot structure. Let me get into my thought process about middles specifically:

Begin with your ending in mind. I do not mean that you need to have like the whole resolution to your story fleshed out. If you're that kind of writer, great! But if you're more of a pantser like me, then that can be a big ask. Instead, ask yourself: what do I want my character to have learned by the end of the story? How do I want them to have changed, or grown? Do I want it to be for better, or for worse? Is there a specific plot goal you have in mind? (saving the world, or catching the murderer, solving the mystery, exorcizing the ghost, the couple getting together at the end, the found family finally gelling with each other, or whatever).

Once you have that thought in mind, now start to think about what your character might need to get from their starting point to their ending point. If it's a murder mystery, this is your information gathering section. You can lead your character to wrong or right conclusions. Have them make mistakes. Etc. etc. If it's a romance, this is where you create a string of scenes where the characters have opportunities to interact and learn more about each other (works for platonic slowburns, too). If this is a traditional hero's journey, this is where you plop in your actual journey.

Not to repeat this ad nauseum, but your middle is all about getting your character to your end goal, but in the most difficult way possible lmao. Let them make mistakes. Let them make bad decisions -- and then follow through with the consequences of those bad decisions. Give them bad information. This is where understanding your character's fundamental flaws becomes extremely important. Your entire plot, imo, stems from your character's fundamental flaws -- because ultimately that is what is going to slow them down the most from reaching their goal. Sure, you may have the big bad evil guy (bbeg), but we're not worried about him. That's an external factor and that's easy to drop in when you need a quick problem to place in front of your protagonist -- but that problem needs to be in service to your character or your worldbuilding. Teach them something. Give them an opportunity for growth. Aragorn needs to lead at Helm's Deep so he can inhabit his leadership role. The mountain pass of Caradhras needs to force the Fellowship through the mines so that Gandalf falls fighting the Balrog and comes back leveled up and ready to fight, and other characters in the fellowship have a chance to grow into their roles without relying on Gandalf for leadership. Your middle is all about crafting little opportunities for character growth, always while moving toward your end goal -- whatever that may be.

The paradigm shifts are crucial, and they can shift for better or for worse. It's up to you and your characters and the story you want to tell as to which it'll be.

If you're bored, your reader is bored. Only write what excites you, skip all the rest, and make it make sense at the end -- I'm so serious. Yes you need to add in breaks for pacing (like the whole Rivendell section in LOTR), but in those breaks still make sure that you're either expanding your worldbuilding, or giving your characters and opportunity for growth.

If you want to tell a really long (novel length) type of story, sideplots and alternate POVs are your best friend. They are structured exactly the same as a regular plot, they're just simpler or smaller and generally work in service to the main plot. Maybe there are side characters or side relationships you'd like to develop. Maybe there's a smaller mystery or a part of your worldbuilding you'd like to explore. Action plots can be side plots to romantic or platonic slowburn plots, just as much as it can be the other way around. And this is not something you need to structure out the gate. Just be curious and playful. Find points in your story that interest you, and explore them a bit. You'll find that they expand the story.

Biggest and best tip I can give you, when all is said and done, is to decide what kind of story you want to tell and then examine how other people are doing it. If you want to write a superhero story, pick out your favorites and look at how they're structured. If you want to write a mystery, same thing. If you're writing a romance or a drama, again -- same thing. Look at the pieces of fiction that you like, figure out what you like about it, and then apply it to your own work.

That's all the general advice off the top of my head. IDK how helpful this was lol. If you want more tips on middles I can try to look at it a bit more in depth, but to be quite honest middles are really what defines a genre. Romances have different middles to thrillers. Thrillers have different middles to mysteries. Mysteries have different middles to dystopian sci-fis. Etc. Etc. So take the general advice with a grain of salt and look more specifically at the genre of story that you're looking to tell.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk <3

#storytelling #writing #thank you for the ask I hope this is helpful #i feel like i rambled a lot haha #<3 <3 <3

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pikahlua · 8 months ago

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I've been in the dkbk fandom for 3 years and my husband is an anime only. We just watched the new episode and he was disappointed. He predicted that Star will die and the plot won't really move forward. He's a sci-fi fan and he's seen many a series fall apart after more characters, complexity, and a war are introduced. I've been avoiding spoling the manga for him but since he's lost interest, I spoiled him and confirmed that the manga has been in a holding pattern for 2-3 years with this final arc. I told him what you said about Bk's death and Deku losing his arms as being symbolic but he said those actions being reversed lowers the stakes and it's hard to maintain emotional investment if you know that major plot points will just get reversed. I wanna believe in Hori but I'm waiting for payoff instead of enjoying the story. Is what's happening really good storytelling if this final battle has been dragging on so long and Deku's characterization has come to a halt?

I’m hesitant to answer this. I said I wouldn't answer any asks that were looking to me for reasons to keep liking MHA, and I really don't want to encourage more asks like this--and yes OP, I don't know if you realize it but that's basically what you're asking. You've framed this question around your husband's opinions, but you're couching your own thoughts inside.

If your issue is that you and your husband like different media, then that's a marital issue to resolve; accept that you shouldn't always watch all media together, particularly if doing so isn't fun for both of you. But your husband doesn't like what's going on in MHA, and this is enough to make you doubt whether or not MHA is written well? Despite the fact that many, many people like MHA in its current form? That sounds more to me like you agree with your husband. It certainly doesn't sound like you tried to sell this story arc to him.

I decided I'll answer a question like this this one time because it'll help me summarize my feelings on these topics, though I'm sorry to say the topics I address may not be what you expect.

"We just watched the new episode and he was disappointed. He predicted that Star will die and the plot won't really move forward."

Is this really a surprise? I don't remember anyone being all that into this arc when it first came out. Everyone was saying Star would die, and yet most people did not correctly predict the actual outcome of this fight--that Star's quirk would be eliminated and Tomura would be weakened. Most guessed Tomura would steal Star's quirk and become overpowered.

"He's a sci-fi fan and he's seen many a series fall apart after more characters, complexity, and a war are introduced."

You mention sci-fi but uh, has your husband watched like...any other anime? Ever? At all? MHA is far from the first shounen anime to do this. You can't really make your husband like MHA if his problem is that he came to an anime restaurant and got upset when there was nothing but anime on the menu.

Seriously, MHA is not doing all that much different with its ending than what Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood did, and that's one of the most critically acclaimed shounen anime of all time. If he's predisposed to dislike the stuff anime does, that's not a writing problem. That's a mismatch of anime with his tastes.

It strikes a nerve with me because I grew up loving anime and was bullied for it by people with opinions such as your husband's. Now, the mainstream-ification of anime has drawn those same sorts of people to anime for whatever reason, and all they seem to wanna do is complain about anime being anime. Take sci-fi for example: I typically hate outerspace-themed media and the concepts such media often explore, and you know what I do? Not watch it. I've decided such media is not for me. Honestly, the same is true for a lot of anime too. I am very picky about anime because there are some tropes or themes I'm just sick of.

"I've been avoiding spoling the manga for him but since he's lost interest, I spoiled him and confirmed that the manga has been in a holding pattern for 2-3 years with this final arc."

This is where it sounds like you primed him with your own feelings, because it certainly doesn't sound like you were selling him. I don't even know what this means. "A holding pattern"? Do you mean the arc has just been going on a long time (see: welcome to anime being anime)? Or do you mean not much has happened with Izuku? Because I am getting a bit of a sense that your issue is you're an Izuku fan and his growth has been slow because the arc has had to wrap up all the other characters' arcs first. Because a lot HAS been happening with all the other characters (and we recently got some Izuku progression too).

The only other thing I can think of is an opinion I've had for a long time. I think a lot of anime fans don't realize they're not actually manga people. You watch an anime you like a lot and you wanna get up to speed, so you go to the manga not understanding that the manga is different from the anime. The pacing is different, as is the presentation and focus on details. The manga presents one or two story points per chapter, whereas anime episodes are 2-3 chapters compressed into one sitting. The anime's major selling point is its fast pacing, but this is not a selling point of the manga--of ANY weekly manga. "2-3 years" means very little in the context of a 15-page-a-week-AT-BEST manga.

"I told him what you said about Bk's death and Deku losing his arms as being symbolic"

The symbolism angle is one thing. I've never really understood why people like any media without symbolism--that's what gives a story its flavor, isn't it? If we're talking about tropes and familiar story structures, the artist's approach to familiar items is precisely what makes it unique and interesting to me. I wouldn't become invested enough to care about Katsuki's death if all that mattered to me was the surface-level event.

But are you saying you spoiled the fact that Izuku lost his arms? That's...not that big of a plot point to spoil if you ask me. Certainly not one I'd bring up as one of the greatest hits of this arc. This is another detail that makes me feel like you're particularly focused on Izuku, which is not a bad thing nor is there anything wrong with that, but Izuku doesn't actually feature very much in this anime season all things considered. It's hard to sell anyone on what's currently happening with Izuku in the manga since we just got to his stuff and it's not complete.

Again, this was what happened with Fullmetal Alchemist. The last arc covered the events of one day that ended the final war. The main characters were only occasionally featured and didn't do all that much in the season until the very end, as one would expect. When it was coming out in manga form, the pacing was admittedly very weird because of this storytelling choice, albeit it felt a bit different from MHA since it was a monthly manga and covered more ground per chapter. But when the same arc was adapted to anime, the feeling and pacing were very different, and a lot of iffy elements improved on me as a result.

"he said those actions being reversed lowers the stakes and it's hard to maintain emotional investment if you know that major plot points will just get reversed."

Is your husband someone who watches things only once and then can't rewatch and enjoy them ever again? Does he only watch stories for plot twists and once he knows the twist he stops liking it?

I don't understand this general obsession with consequences and stakes a lot of people have. Sure, they are elements that can contribute to a mood or feeling in a story, but they're far from the make-or-break linchpins so many people make them out to be. The "reversals" are major plot points too. I find much more enjoyment in trying to follow why a writer would do such things and what they're trying to say than wondering how likely some character is to die or how many people will be brutalized.

I'm in the camp that believes spoilers should not make a difference in whether or not I find a series "good" or whether or not I can invest in it. I personally have played video games specifically BECAUSE they were spoiled for me and it sounded like I would like them, and having those major things spoiled for me did not detract from my enjoyment at all. I'm not saying everyone has to be like me, but I do certainly think a story's ability to persist as an impactful and memorable work has very little to do with its stakes and everything to do with how it handles its story and characters. Was Star Wars memorable and beloved because of how many people were at risk of dying in it? Was something taken away from the story when Luke got a robotic replacement for the hand he lost?

Goodness, didn't the MHA fandom predict for years that Dabi was Touya Todoroki? And wasn't everyone just waiting for the reveal to fucking happen already so we could get it over with? And wasn't the entire fandom surprised and enthralled when the Touya reveal did happen precisely because it was handled in such a unique and cool way with Horikoshi's flair? Did predicting that twist really ruin anything for the story?

A good story is a good story.

"I'm waiting for payoff instead of enjoying the story."

I can't know what payoff you're waiting for. I've enjoyed all the events and details along the way, even if there were some expected dips here and there. When I went back and reread the entire arc in one go, the pacing really hit me differently and I got a lot out of it. If you're not enjoying the story, that's not about whether or not the story is employing "good storytelling." I've enjoyed plenty of stories that were told poorly and sloppily because there were other redeeming features that appealed to me. This is about preference. You and your husband have your own personal preferences, and that's okay! But you both have to manage your preferences with respect to each other and to yourselves.

"Is what's happening really good storytelling if this final battle has been dragging on so long and Deku's characterization has come to a halt?"

If you're actually interested in whether or not MHA has "good storytelling," I'd suggest you take a creative writing class or otherwise learn about the way stories are told in different media i.e. novels vs comics vs TV shows vs movies vs video games. But I honestly don't think that's what you mean. I think you're looking for permission to keep liking MHA even if you personally don't like its storytelling or how Izuku's character is currently being handled. I can tell you from experience that yeah, you can. Plenty of people do it all the time. Some people get so frustrated with the stories they like they write fix-it fanfiction. Some people appreciate the way a story is so perfectly written that they cannot build a fandom around it because they can't come up with anything to add. It's going to depend on you and how you want to approach the situation, and while I'm happy to talk about what I like about MHA and which writing choices I think are well made, that's not going to get us very far if you don't like the same things.

I do often find media that I personally think is not written that well, and like I said, sometimes I like it and sometimes I hate it, but if it's a piece of media with a large fanbase like MHA, I have a hard time calling its writing universally "bad." If it speaks to that many people in some way, clearly there's something about it that reaches people effectively, and who am I to judge? I'm certainly no expert in quality of writing. All I have are what I've taken away from my education in literature/writing, my years of experience with many anime that came before MHA, and my thoughts on all the other media I've enjoyed. My experiences will lead to different conclusions than others'. I know I don't like a lot of what's popular with most people, so I certainly can't hold myself out as some paragon of good taste.

It's okay to like or dislike whatever for whatever reason. I don't always stay with the same fandom. I move around when I find new and good things. I sometimes come back to old things I loved and like it anew or find it underwhelming as I currently am. As of right now, I'm actually willing to say something I never was before, which is that MHA might be one of the best-written manga if not the best manga I've ever read. While FMA is top-tier, its themes are a lot safer than MHA's ambitious goals. MHA was always going to be controversial in some ways just because of what it attempts to do, such as telling its story through comic book-themed superheroes. It also says a lot of political things that risk alienating readers. The levels of risk MHA takes are part of what makes it amazing to me and what makes it a worthwhile piece of art to enjoy. I'm so happy it exists, flaws and all. No story will be universally loved, and that's something I accepted a long time ago when I decided I wouldn't let the bullying stop me from liking anime. All I can hope to do is have the courage to love the things I love and the grace to leave alone the things I dislike for others to enjoy.

#anon ask #ask pika #my hero academia manga spoilers #final arc spoilers

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halliescomut · 6 months ago

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Love Sea Ep 2 Thoughts

Okay. I've had some time to consider the episode, organize my thoughts (potentially) but I think this still might be a bit of a ramble....sorry.

So we do start off right where we left off where they're coming back on the boat, and they're talking on the beach. I mentioned in my watch along a lot of these thoughts, so I'm kind of just expanding on them, so it might be helpful to read that first. But I've taken an interest in a lot of the body language happening in the show, and looking at the scene it gives me this feeling of Mut sort of invading Rak's space, but just enough.

Like their legs are entwined, but there's decent distance from their upper bodies, which given Rak's hesitation to get too close, or be too charmed by Mut really works for me. Given the scene prior, and Rak's sort of level of upset, it feels pretty clear that Mut is working to kind of distract Rak. And Rak basically jumps on that opportunity. It actually kind of reminds me of Sky in that way, like we don't have a confirmation of Sky's general MO in regard to sex, but the ONS read a little bit to me as an intentional decision to distract himself. I get that same feeling here, Rak doesn't want to think about why he reacted as he did, or consider how vulnerable he made himself, and so he kind of thinks by jumping into a sexual experience that will distract both him and Mut.

I have (as is kind of always the case with Mame) reservations on the kind of D/s undertones she uses. I got to be honest, part of the issue is the weird commitment to putting Peat's character in the more submissive position (she did it with Sky too) I honestly don't find that it suits him or his characters well, and is based solely on his body type versus his personality. Setting that aside for now, I will say that I appreciate direct expression of oral sex. In LITA specifically (I know I'm calling back to that a lot, but it's hard not to use it as a comparison, specifically for the NC scenes) we saw two separate allusions to oral sex, or honestly we were robbed of two NC scenes involving oral. The ONS, where Pai doesn't let Sky give him a BJ, and then the bathroom scene that ended up getting cut where we see Prapai giving. I made this observation (among friends, not publically...I don't think) that I think the intentional exclusion of that specific sex act in Thai BL leads me to believe there's a particular reason why it's not included. In terms of MM sex we see your standard penetrative sex pretty regularly, and then small sprinkles of handjobs in general, but oral is almost never even alluded to, much less shown. Now I'm honestly not super caught up on a lot of Thai BL, but I would say I've seen more direct expressions of oral in the last year, than I had seen in two years prior since I got into Thai BL. So overall I think it's a step in the right direction in encouraging a more well-rounded and accurate depiction of the gay experience.

In terms of the actual physical acting of the scene...I'm gonna say C+. It's less about their facial expressions and more about positioning and timing...in a way. I will salute the decision for oral sex if you're doing it on a beach, because that is going to be your least chafe-y option.

Following this we get a return of the humor with Rak saying they need to go back to the hotel room immediately...Clearly leading Mut to believe that the sexy times will continue, but they do not. Rak starts writing, we don't get insight into the specific scene, but I do wonder if the written scenes mirror the IRL experiences or not. Like how similar are they? During that time we see Mut basically pouting and then googling Rak. This gives us our first suggestion in the show I think that Rak is basically a self-insert for Mame. And we see the covers for The Boy Next World as well as Love Director, two novels that 'Rak' has written and are being made into series. He follows that up by checking what looks to be basically Rak's Instagram, containing many pictures of Rak looking incredibly attractive and then basically excuses himself to take a shower.

Rak finishes his scene, and I'm not really sure if he's kind of run out of mojo, or if he's just done with that scene in general, but he goes looking for Mut and he sure does find him. Now I did miss the arm movement initially and thought we were just appreciating the rear view so to speak, but then you realize that Mut is in fact jacking off.

Overall, it seems a case of "Well, we've already crossed the line" and we have the most minimal discussion of terms. I'm not a person who cares at all about the sexual decisions that adults make, but as someone who is close friends with people who have and continue to work in the sex industry, it is of course not a necessarily safe way to go about those types of negotiations. This is not a dealbreaker for me by any means in regards to watching the show, I genuinely don't expect anything overly realistic, it's just an observation.

Moving on to the main event as it were, the sort of antagonistic flirting is on point, which with Fort and Peat is not surprising. They mentioned that Mame gave them an opportunity to do what felt natural for their characters and I do feel that in the conversation and acting in the shower. Once we move back to the bedroom things move very quickly, and while I think the scene is very good, it doesn't feel passionate in the same way the earlier scene does, or previous NC scenes we've seen from FortPeat as PrapaiSky (except for one in particular and I'll get back to that). I'm not personally sure if this was an acting choice, if it was just how the scene ended up, if it was directing, I truly don't know. I think though it really fits the situation in a particular way. The almost emotionless sex feels appropriate because they don't truly have feelings for each other yet, not really. Flirting and attraction aside, there's not a true emotional connection, especially on Rak's part. And I'm sorry, but it reminds me of the ONS in LITA. It's the only sex scene we see of Prapai and Sky where there are positions where they aren't facing each other, which creates an emotional distance. It's why we see missionary position so often in BLs even when that may not be the go-to position for MM sex. Having characters face each other creates an emotional connection.

The choice makes sense if you consider that both Rak and Sky are going into this sexual encounter with the intention of maintaining emotional distance. And even Mut and Prapai at this point, while intrigued by this very attractive person, aren't coming into it from an overly emotional place. So, overall I do think in this scene it's a vibe that really works for me, and I'm interested to see how these scenes change as the characters open up more to each other.

Once Rak is done, he's very definitively done and sends Mut away, but does admit to himself that this Mut is one of the best he's ever had.

We then cut to the next day and get more of what I personally call Mut's village rounds, just him going around and talking to different people from the community, and we see more interactions with Palm, the bartender from episode one. They're interactions are really cute, I actually really enjoy him. He has good doofus energy. Anyway, after that Mut heads to the hotel because Palm told him that all the single staff there were trying to 1- figure out Rak's sexuality and 2- potentially woo him because he's rich. So Mut is there sitting with a group of ladies, to Rak's eyes he's flirting, but we don't hear much if any of the conversation, so it's unclear if there's actual flirting or if it's just Mut's general charisma. I also don't think we've gotten any specific clarity on Mut or Rak's sexuality in terms of whether they are gay, bi, or pan. I personally suspect that Rak does not feel attracted to women, but that's my own read on it. Mut is harder to nail down, but we haven't seen nearly as much of him in a flirting-approriate situation. But back to the point. Rak sees Mut with the women, he hears hotel staff talking about how he's a catch or something (I skimmed over that on the second watch, sorry) and he's jealous.

We see a peek at Rak's impulsiveness here (like the beach and the shower, and even the robe scene of last episode) and he sends Mut 65,000 Baht which is $1,771 in USD, so not small change, and basically comes up and stakes his claim on him. We get more of Peat's English here, and I'm guessing we might get more of it when he returns to Bangkok, or maybe just more if we see more conversations with Connor. I have feelings about the whole "I paid for you, I don't share", as discussed above, but I do think it gives insight to Rak, and the kind of slippery slope he's found himself on here.

Mut leaves with him after agreeing to feed him and we do get an adorable montage of them on the motorbike. While the tone of the episode shifts throughout, I don't feel like it's quite as abrupt as the previous episode, and I think the motorbike scene really sets up the future of Rak kind of finding some peace not only in Mut, but also in this rural community. Once they arrive at the area where the restaurant is we get the joke that the motorbike ride set up, which is that it may not be the best mode of transportation if you spent the previous night engaging in pretty vigorous anal activity. Fair enough, and the teasing there from Mut using his Southern dialect is downright adorable, but what's most interesting is we get confirmation that both Mut and Rak are out in their communities.

While this is not necessarily surprising with Mame, outside of her university set stories most of her characters are reconciled of their sexuality from the start. They may not necessarily be publicly out, but they're aware of and enerally accepting of their sexuality and even confident in it. I actually think Mame's spectrum of where people are at in their coming out journey is one of the better aspects of her shows, as it gives people at all different parts of that journey characters they can relate to.

We re-encounter Palm here, he's kind of similar to Mut, or at least Mut a few years ago, a less than flush native of the island who works whatever odd jobs he can find. Rak finds him a bit annoying which is fair, but I did enjoy the small bit of teasing between Palm and Mut. I think they have a pretty cute bro relationship. Once they go to sit down Rak (and we the viewer) get to meet another community member who heaps quite a bit of praise on Mut for his work and contribution to their community. Mut's shy reaction is very sweet and the scene overall offers a glimpse to Rak of the person Mut truly is, beyond the shameless flirt.

We also get backstory for Mut, learning that he had a falling out with his father at 15, leading to him leaving that home. It's not clear if his sexuality may have been a factor, but homophobic parents have been present in Mame's work before and are something that very sadly continues to be consistent in many queer kids lives IRL, so I don't think it's farfetched. This particular scene is one of the most well-acted I think we've gotten from Fort in it's minimalism. I think Fort feels comfortable with the flirty-charmer character type, and the way he holds himself, how he schools his face, his tone, as he talks about the fallout with his father is so well done. His eyes too, Fort does a lot of really excellent acting with his eyes. What particularly felt accurate to me was the sort of emotionlessness that we see. Experiences like he had, particularly with a parent are really hard to reconcile. As humans we want to have a loving relationship with our parents, more specifically we want to be certain they love us. When it becomes clear they don't, it's a very difficult thing to accept, in particular because it's necessary to simultaneously recognize that you are not at fault in the situation. That's kind of why most people require actual therapy to work through experiences like this. But when that's not an option, the way you deal with it is usually dissociation. You can't dwell on it, let it get to close, because then it will cause a problem, so you keep it at arm's length. That's what we see here with Mut, and what Fort portrays so well. We also get one of the most heartbreaking lines in Mut saying "My dad never takes back what he says. I suppose that's the only thing we have in common." Mut is proud of being a person who keeps their word, we see him mention it before, and we now see that it's a trait with a direct connection to his father. Seemingly the only potentially positive connection he can create there.

For Rak's part, we see those little cracks forming in those walls, he recognizes Mut's vulnerability, he's practically appalled at the idea of Mut's father kicking him out, which based on what we can presume is a very close relationship with his mother, sister, and niece, is understandable. He doesn't understand that betrayal from family really. But he's starting to see Mut as a more well rounded human being, versus the way he'd initially saw him which is solely a potential sex partner/distraction. We then start to get our first bit of insight into Rak when Mut asks him why he became a writer. In the voiceover we hear that he started writing to escape, but his spoken response is that it started as him just wanting to share stories he loved with people. Given that his chosen genre is romance, he wanted to escape to these happily ever after love stories, and share them with people who also want that, because to him happily ever after is only a fantasy, it's not attainable in the real world. Peat's body language is wonderful here, the crossed arms, and looking off kind of the side instead of meeting Mut's gaze directly show that he's being deliberate in how much he's sharing, but in the end I think he still reveals more than he intended with his answers. Mut questions if he's happy, and Rak says that if he weren't he wouldn't be Tongrak, the writer, to which Mut replies "That's all there is to life. And you've been doing a good job". Now I kind of feel like there's nuance missing in the translation, but I'm not the person to address that. But the sentiment seems to be 'happiness is what's important, and by valuing that you're doing a good job' and Rak is very touched by that. He says he doesn't recieve compliments very often, and while I don't know if that's fully accurate given his success and handsomeness, there's a great deal of difference in someone complimenting your work or your looks and someone recognizing that that you're doing a good job as a person, especially a person with a traumatic past. Being a survivor of any kind of trauma creates a lot of pitfalls that are difficult to overcome and create even a semblance of a normal life, and so having that effort recognized, even if not directly is really affirming. We see Rak very intentionally return this compliment to Mut, which communicates a level of recognition.

This conversation also kind of confirms for me that Rak is a bit of a self-insert character for Mame, especially considering that he brings up criticism that his stories get. I've never directly seen or encountered it, but I have heard rumors of Mame getting upset and even responding to negative critiques of her work. Her use of more problematic tropes is a valid criticism, and while I can see some progress from one series to the next, I do also feel like she falls back on what's "easy" instead of really trying to push her stories into more positive directions. While her sexuality is her business, she is a woman writing about gay male relationships, and honestly sometimes it's unrealistic to the point of being distracting. As I've said before, I don't truly expect realism from Mame, but her stories are meant to be in the genre of realistic fiction, they're not fantasy or sci-fi (leaving TBNW out of it for now). It's also very important to recognize that many gay men who watch BL do find some of the tropes she often uses to be damaging, both because they portray gay men in not the best light, but also because they set up potentially problematic expectations in young queer or questioning men who might partake in her stories.

We then cut to night again, joining Mut at home and he's trying to weasel information out of Kom, who does ask Connor, but Connor refuses to give any, only telling him to ask Rak himself, which I appreciate. We can suspect that Connor is kinda trying to matchmake here, but I appreciate him being a good friend to Rak and not revealing his secrets. In the end he calls Rak and invites him diving and we get to the last portion of this episode. Let us pray I can fit my thoughts in a single post.

Now aside from how honestly weird it is that Rak showed up for diving in a small fortunes worth of luxury jewlery (why?), when he sees Palm there as well he gets a little upset, seemingly because he thought there was potential for another hookup. Which I guess is fine, but why would you think diving is the code word for that, when it's literally part of how Mut makes is living? But moving on, they get out into the water, Mut get's Rak all set in his gear and as he's going to get Palm to help him get his gear on Rak goes ahead and dives (that impulsiveness again!). Setting aside my frustration with Rak's fully dangerous decision here, we do get a really lovely little scene of the underwater flora and fauna. Things take a downturn when Rak has a series of flashbacks. It's not really clear what triggers them here, but we see three scenes back to back. First his parents arguing, when he's quite young...8-9 (?), then him comforting his sister, both of them late teens it looks like (they look to be in school uniforms, but could potentially be college), after her boyfriend leaves her after finding out she's pregnant, and then with his mother again, the final sentence is a bit garbled, and not translated in the captions, but logically I think it's something along the lines of "Don't trust in love, if you don't want to end up like me."

As a child, watching two women he cares for deeply suffering because men that they trusted to love and care for them simply didn't would certainly put a bad taste in anyone's mouth about love. So we've kind of identified the catalyst for why Rak doesn't believe in love, even having witnessed it with Kom and Connor. Though I understand in the book there's perhaps some insight into negative feelings related to that relationship, and Kom "taking Connor away". I haven't read either Love Sea or Love Sand, so this is based off of conversations with people who have, so I could be wrong, but I don't think it's a stretch to think of Rak grappling with negative thoughts related to Kom and Connor, even if he's recognizing that those thoughts are a bit ridiculous. It's normal to mourn the loss of what was easy and comfortable when friends find romantic partners and you have to figure out what the new normal is, you just have to make sure you keep resentment and negative feelings under control and don't let them fester.

I will point out though, is that one cinematic choice that's made here is having the sort of washed out blue tones of the flashbacks match the underwater coloring. It keeps the scenes from being too jolting as they cut back and forth, an dI think it was an excellent idea.

Due to the flashback Rak kind of panics, looses his regulator and Mut basically finds him just in time. Giving him some mouth to mouth oxygen before getting him reset so they can go back to the surface.

This type of scene would have been very difficult to film, even if it wa managed in a single take, which is kind of unlikely, and so massive props to Fort and Peat for doing some amazing work here.

Returning to the boat we see Mut become very serious about how dangerous Rak's actions were, but that seriousness is balanced with a lot of empathy as well. I can't fully express my thoughts on the metaphor I feel like is intended in the "they need buddies" conversation, but there's something happening there. Mut does try to talk about why Rak panicked, but Rak shuts him down and we get a convo about the wordplay that is their names instead. Mut here is trying to lighten the situation a bit, and I think Rak kind of recognizes that, but is too stuck in his darker memories to really let it happen and he says something I don't know that he means to. That "Love is a figment of our imaginations". And he believes that, and you can see that Mut know he believes it, and his reaction is the most "Oh sweetie" look I've ever seen. (Seriously, Fort's expressions are always so fantastic). The moment is broken when Rak pulls a Kim Theerapanyakul and says "I'm hungry" and walks away.

We do get s teensy post credits scene which returns us to the restaurant where Rak sadly finds out that at many fresh seafood restaurants those tanks aren't just for ambiance (Bless you red fish for nourishing us) and we get some more good natured flirting from Mut "Will you eat me if I'm tasty"...boy if you don't.

Now we saw this same kind of thing last ep, where we ended on a pretty serious tone, go the end title screen and then a more humorous scene after. I think it's kind of intended to leave us as an audience on a more positive note instead of just wandering through the rest of our day traumatized and sobbing.

As we see the actual credits roll we get confirmation of my suspicion that the scene might change and progress as the episodes go on and indeed this episode we see Mut join Rak at the beach at a companionable distance. A bit curious to see if we might also have a change up when they go to the city.

Overall this was an excellent episode, clearly much to unpack (as you can see by this 4000 word post. It's well paced, the acting is very good, we're kept engaged as an audience. I didn't talk much about P'Vie and Mook, but I'll make a much shorter separate post for that.

#love sea #love sea the series #love sea ep 2 #tongrak #mahasamut #mutrak #tongrak x mahasamut #fortpeat #peat wasuthorn #fort thitipong #HallieSMeta

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yuseirra · 1 month ago

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Learned that onk is getting live action.. and that it probably would have some hikaai scenes. Honestly, I don't really trust this series or the writers any more. I'm just worried that they're going to confirm the guy killed Ai as a freaky monster of a stalker who idolized her and couldn't forgive her for dumping him and later even flipped out to target their own children as well(which is not how it should be the way I see it, he wasn't portrayed like that when I got back into this series)I'm just praying it doesn't get any worse than how it is now because if it does, then I really can't work with this anymore. You see how disappointed I am? I don't have a hope when it comes to this piece. I don't want to get disappointed any further. Can I be blamed? I waited out for months during the times the manga was ongoing and look what's happened. I rather things remain ambiguous if they're not going to do a good job... What the heck would be the point in writing the story like that though? I don't get the minds of these writers. Just- if you're going to talk about what idols or people in the entertainment industry goes through, what would be the point of making the boyfriend who's a minor at that time somehow...manipulating an adult to instigate an attack on his idol girlfriend?? What kind of message does that send even?? I really can't forgive them if that's really it. From how I infer, I really don't think he'd have seen any of this coming. I just picture him wishing to have sent a bouquet, Hikaru sent A BOUQUET. Just...how was that supposed to be some kind of threat? The guy would have to be seriously messed up if he really intended to murder or hurt someone while doing that. It's not really a natural flow of thought so it gets me okay? It's not really how an average person acts and he didn't seem to be that messed up then, I STUDIED psychology. Again, I lost my trust towards the writers though. They may be trying te explore the mind of a crazy maniac, might as well(that's so rude though! I find that approach rude and harmful to the industry!) At this point I'm just nervous about new updates rather than feeling some sort of hype for it. I can't expect anything good from it, I want to, make me, please.

Ugh, the writers, seriously... Ugh. Why are they like this? Really? No, I honestly think everyone could’ve been happy. But this family(?) was completely destroyed. So, I can’t help but feel irritated at how things turned out. Just thinking about it makes me uneasy. What were they even trying to say with this...?

As for Kamiki, I think Ai probably understood him best. The two of them said they were alike, after all. They probably understood each other very well. And if you look at how Ai treated her boyfriend, there was no sense of fear—there was affection.

When Aqua started pursuing acting, Ai was overjoyed and praised him a lot, right? Thinking about it, her son—who already resembled her boyfriend a great deal—was growing even more like him, and she liked that. This means her feelings toward her boyfriend were very positive. That’s another layer of foreshadowing. Look at Aqua’s name: it’s made up of two kanji for “love” and “longing.” And Aqua’s appearance resembles his father a lot. Even the names of the twins, taken from gemstones, show how much Ai cherished her boyfriend. Ai really loved him. But for someone like Ai to open her heart and love someone deeply, that person must have been truly good. Ai isn’t thoughtless—she’s incredibly thoughtful. For Ai to overflow with affection like that... judging from the flashbacks, they seemed to have gotten along well. Kamiki always looked so happy in those scenes. It seems like he’s the type to give everything when he loves someone. He must’ve treated Ai so well while they were dating. Even the lyrics of the song suggest giving everything he has to offer. So, that personality hasn’t changed—it’s just that after Ai’s death, he broke down and became twisted. Out of desperation.

In my view, Hikaru could never harm Ai. He’s not that kind of person. I think he was so shocked by Ai’s death that it completely changed him. His eyes were once big and round... but now he looks like someone possessed by some demon.

Ai wanted to raise her children with him, right? That means he was someone she believed could make that possible. In the end, even readers don’t know exactly what kind of person he was. But Ai, who stayed by his side and even had children with him, probably knew him best.

---

My reactions towards this subject of stalking and killing does come from what's been happening in my country as of lately

..to a degree. I was concerned of such crimes to begin with(and subjects like child abuse too so that's how hikaru and ai really got me to think) The recent news has been so grim, and I... honestly. That’s why this kind of story weighs on me even more. But for now, I’m choosing to trust my intuition on this. It’s too awful to put exact numbers to it, but I sometimes see this kind of news pop up in my feed. A lot of people are being stalked and murdered by their exs and I feel it's alarming and frightening. I don’t think it should be dismissed as just bad luck on an individual level—it’s a societal issue that needs to be addressed on a structural level. Of course, you could view most problems that way, but...

So... I’ve been deeply anxious, I really don't want to...make it seem like I'm portraying something like it in a pretty light. I've been very worried. Since I notice these details however, I’ll stick with my interpretation for now. I draw them because I think it's really not what's happened between them.

If the work says it's been that way all along, however, I could always take down what I have and delete it. I'm not sure if I actually will, but I'm always...bracing myself on something like that happening in canon. The moment I started drawing this ship, I had an idea of what I could be signing myself into, it was a risk for me to take. I still did it because I thought I knew what it is and I still think I must be right. Haha. But honestly, if I’m wrong, that’s not on me—it’s on the author. They wrote it in a way that invites this interpretation... and in cases like this, I’m rarely mistaken.

#oshi no ko #hikaai #oshi no ko spoilers #I wish I can hope but will they make hikaru seem like a human being not a monster #I don't think he did it!!; I really don't think he did because just...why????#but if the writers think it's good then #idk...I read the work wrong and it's in me #that's a seriously messed up story though #one I won't agree with nor like...#spoilers #oshi no theories

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esther-dot · 1 year ago

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I feel very conflicted and I know I’ll get hate if I post this on my blog but I just want feedback. I loved D for years after watching the show until season 8 came out and I felt betrayed. I thought it was out of character. I wanted happy romantic J x D. I saw myself in D. I’ve read the books at long last over the past year and I know I have confirmation bias. I love Sansa too. And I see myself in her as well. Deep down I know that I am far more like book!Sansa than I am like the character D really is and that the D in my head is not truly who the character is. I want to love Jonsa. I think that could be such a happy end for Sansa and I want to want that (that being specifically Jonsa; of course I want a happy end for her). But I don’t know how to shake my attachment to D and the character I want her to be. I can’t let go and stop projecting despite consciously being aware that she is not truly very much like me at all. I think perhaps because Sansa’s arc has not yet had as much direct payoff. She has not yet been able to claim power in the way D has and I think thus identifying myself with her may cast a light on uncomfortable feelings of helplessness within myself. But I’m not really sure. All I know is that logically I wish for Sansa to be my favorite and I want to love Jonsa instead of JxD and I know Sansa is quite a bit like me but I just can’t seem to embrace that. I’m not sure if I am looking for any sort of advice or wisdom or perhaps just wanting to put my thoughts out there. I’m curious about anything at all that you might have to say

I have my opinions and preferences, but there’s a difference between emotionally connecting and intellectually engaging. I’ve read loads of classic novels because I want to know what they say, why they matter, but I often fail to find them personally meaningful. That’s simply due to life experience which is why certain things resonate with me or don’t. I’ve found, none of us read the same novel, even if we agree on certain aspects or characters, there’s always something else that hits us differently. That’s not an indictment or vindication of a person because I’ve revisited books years later and my response is wildly different.

The book didn’t change, life changed me so I read it differently this time around. That's a good thing to bear in mind when we're talking about the same series for years on end, there's room for us to evolve our stances because we're changing. I leave room for that with others, I permit myself the same understanding. I hope you do that for yourself too!

Also, my sensibilities aren’t Martin’s, so even if I make arguments about why a certain thing shouldn’t/should happen, I know it still might or might not. Jon and Dany isn’t a universally accepted pairing for no reason. And even though most of what I say about Dany I tag with “anti,” that’s just because I want people to be able to avoid it if they’d like. I don’t hate her, I have a lot of sympathy for her. I think her story is full of tragedy, so I don’t think there’s anything weird about reading the books and your heart going out to her. Many, many fans identify with her, some because they too are abuse survivors. That’s why a lot of fans connected so deeply with show Sansa as well. I was frustrated before the GoT finale because the people who argued with us about Dany were actively defending her burning people alive and denying where her story was going, but after GoT ended, I went into the Dany tag and saw a few posts by more normal fans who simply loved a girl who had inspired them and helped them in their own struggles, so I understand who she is to people even if she isn’t that to me.

I loved D for years after watching the show until season 8 came out and I felt betrayed.

This was a pretty universal sentiment, and I felt betrayed too (although for different reasons, coming from a completely different direction), so I sympathize.

Deep down I know that I am far more like book!Sansa than I am like the character D really is and that the D in my head is not truly who the character is.

I think the “problem” (not really a problem, but we’ll call it that) is that Martin wants his characters to be more than one thing. I’ve said in the past, he has quite an expansive view of what one person can encompass which means, I look at, let’s say, the Hound quite differently than many in the fandom. Every bad thing I have ever said about him is true, but there are good things about him that are true too, and Martin wants both to coexist. That’s true for Tyrion (another villain), Jaime, Theon….it’s true for Dany too. She’s even more enmeshed with good things, as more good desires, than those guys, so it’s easy to let it eclipse everything else. I’ve pointed out before that with Dany, it’s always a one-two. She “saves” people, then we discover it wasn’t salvation at all. You have to be open to questioning her to realize that though.

The way the show framed her, a lot of people saw themselves or who they wanted to be in Dany, and even now, I’ll hear people occasionally compare themselves to Dany in a positive way, because for years, she was a #girlboss. We might have a lot of skepticism around that idea now, realizing it was to hide what her story actually was, but it resonated because, who wouldn’t want to be capable of fighting injustice? Of walking into a situation and taking control of it and rectifying wrongs? The problem is, in the books, we’re presented with the reality that her methods aren’t improving things, and in the show, they mute that as much as possible. When the author is trying to show the devastation of war and the showrunners opted to glorify it, the audience is gonna have a reaction that’s no longer compatible with the original intent. For instance, Arya killing all the Freys. That’s presented as a bad ass moment, that’s their view, so why would a fan realize, “but over here vengeance / unnecessary bloodshed is bad.” It’s careless storytelling, but D&D were also dishonest too. They included certain moments to justify the ending, but undermined it so fans wouldn't track it, rewrote characters to make them obsequious to Dany. And then they drowned it all in bs interviews / commentary, loads and loads of hype and marketing....they twisted it completely out of any discernible shape. Confusion is an understandable response to such contradictory nonsense. People I'm a fan of made sense of it, predicted it, but I do think y'all were lied to by the showrunners which annoys me to no end.

But I don’t know how to shake my attachment to D and the character I want her to be.

That's love though. I've experienced this so often in real life, wanting good for someone I care about, desperately wanting them to see the self-destructive patterns they have, and not being able to get them to change anything and learning to either accept where they are/who they are, or learning, I can't accept it and ending the relationship because it wasn't healthy for me to be involved. Martin loves his villains, Tyrion is his fav, he wants you to care, that's where he'll get the tragedy in Dany's ending rather than it simply being a clear cut good vs evil ending. I think he wants us to have sympathy on both sides of the coming struggle, and to have fans see the heroic path Dany could have and watch her fail to follow it and walk down a path she didn't have to choose...it's gonna make it heart-wrenching rather than cliche. I think you may be almost just where Martin wants you.

I think perhaps because Sansa’s arc has not yet had as much direct payoff. She has not yet been able to claim power in the way D has and I think thus identifying myself with her may cast a light on uncomfortable feelings of helplessness within myself. But I’m not really sure.

Obviously, I don't know you, but from what I've seen people write about Sansa, I do think her relative powerlessness is a major detractor for fans. For some it makes her boring, for others, they despise her because they're so frustrated by her not doing something. But it's a dose of reality in this fantasy world to have a character constrained by her situation and her life dictated by her gender. I'd argue that Sansa is a more impressive character for the mercy and bravery she shows even thought she is a captive herself, but I understand that's not as thrilling as other characters' stories.

I want to love Jonsa instead of JxD

Sansa has had a few crushes which are fairly...I’ll say, detached from reality. She connects to the characters emotionally by imagining them as romantic figures, less a tangible knowing and loving the individual. It’s all very daydreamy, but mainly, she's been the object of desire for creeps. So, while I disagree with them, there is a part of me that understands why fans aren't looking for her to have an actual romance because the way it has existed in her story thus far isn't tangible for her or rewarding, and of course, there's her age. Dany on the other hand, as young as she was when this story began, has had sexual partners she loves. We say Drogo was an abusive POS, we know Daario doesn't truly care for her, so I understand, with one part of my mind, that fans are looking for her to have a mutual, sexual relationship. If you love Dany, a healthy sexual relationship feels more pressing than one for Sansa, due to past experiences. It feels more appropriate due to her age as well. So, I understand why one can have hooks for you as a fan that the next doesn't. It’s always good to remember though, while we connect to these characters as if they’re people, the author is using them to discuss ideas, and they will experience, or not experience, certain things as a result.

I feel very conflicted and I know I’ll get hate if I post this on my blog but I just want feedback.

I'd like to tell you that isn't the case, but it's probably true. I still get rude messages because I'm a Sansa fan/Jonsa, and I can't imagine a situation like yours, loving both characters and being open to Jonsa but shipping J/D, would allow you to be fully comfortable anywhere. I can't assure you that my corner of the fandom will treat you with the utmost understanding either, so I'm glad you reached out this way and felt safe coming into my inbox. I find talking about things is helpful. There isn't always an answer, but it makes me feel better, so I'm happy to read your thoughts on this even if I can't offer any advice, in the hopes it makes you feel better too. 💗

#dot chat

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nagisasstunningpersonality · 1 year ago

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Lemme start by saying, I don’t know if someone has said this before. Or if it’s been confirmed by the author/creator of Assassination Classroom (I would love to be informed if it was, though. I need AC content). It’s just something I noticed and thought was cool, so I decided to share:

Korosensei’s tie has a crescent moon design. To be more specific, a waxing crescent moon design.

It’s interesting because the academic year of the Assassination Classroom is widely speculated to be 2014-2015. Since Aguri and Korosensei met a year before, it’s reasonable to say that they met on March 13, 2013.

The moon phase on March 13, 2013 was a waxing crescent moon.

Aguri gifted Korosensei a necktie with a waxing crescent moon embroidered into it on the anniversary of their meeting. She put so much thought into that gift, to the point of incorporating the moon phase from the day they met. And I think that’s beautiful.

I have sad feels now.

Thoughts?

It's a neat idea! The manga was first serialised in Jump July 2012 though, so the speculation is probably a bit off. To me, it's most likely the series is set relatively contemporaneously. So you can take the original moon explosion as 2012 or 2013. There's one very specific part of the manga that does help date it, though.

Prewarning, this turned into niche ramblings.

I do not currently have access to the Japanese version of this scene, but I disagree with the fan translation here. At their own admission, they interpreted him to be talking about a specific earthquake, where in reality he just says "the earthquake". I also went and checked this with the anime, and he does not give a specific event.

I mean, the Great Kanto Earthquake happened in 1923, which would make Karma some kind of time traveller if this was true. As someone who used to live in the same rough area Kunugigaoka is set, I promise you there are a lot of earthquakes. To the point you get used to them. Most certainly wouldn't be a 'state of emergency'. No. If you're saying The Earthquake, the most likely option is the 2011 Tohoku earthquake/tsunami, still by far Japan's most devastating natural disaster in recent times. Sort of like how we might say "the pandemic" and it's pretty obvious what we mean by it.

Two problems with this, though. One is that Karma in this panel looks relatively younger. The youngest Karma could realistically have been for this timescale is 12. We literally see him drawn at that age, and his appearance doesn't differ much in those panels (civil war) - though this could be put down to being before that specific arc. Second issue: the epicentre of the earthquake was quite far north of where Kunugigaoka is set, and Karma would have still been in junior high at this point. And we do see him physically observing... some kind of disaster relief. Considering the lack of destruction (and the fact that the earthquake destroyed a nuclear reactor and caused a massive exclusion zone in the general area), perhaps Karma is somewhere in Tokyo here observing the support measures.

The Japanese government were also specifically criticised for their response to the Fukushima nuclear disaster. It's too complicated to really go into here, but in a nutshell there were some Bad and Illogical Decisions (in Livi's opinion) taken. One highlight being very arbitrary choices on what houses were part of the exclusion zone, but I digress. Point is, this seems like what Karma's referring to by "the politicians were useless".

So anyway, my bet is that Aguri and Koro met in 2012, and the moon went bye bye in March 2013. I'm not going to check myself, but I'll believe you about the moon phase. I'll be honest, I doubt this is intentional, but it's a neat coincidence at least!

#assassination classroom #ass class #ansatsu kyoushitsu #ass class meta

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logicalalo · 1 year ago

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Thoughts on CSM ch. 138

Alright, finally have somewhat organized my thoughts regarding this week's chapter and have some points that I would like to discuss. I would also like to add that some chapters are kinda foggy in my mind (I should definitely re-read them), so if there are errors, please let me know.

Introduction of Fumiko; Denji's bodyguard.

With her introduction and actions, yeah no, but we are stuck with her as she has been appointed to be Denji's bodyguard at school. In other words, Denji will have another figure from Public Safety keeping tabs on him. The way Yoshida explains Fumiko's job is that she will protect Denji so that Denji can enjoy a normal life. AKA since she is Denji's bodyguard, Denji can't have the excuse that he turned to CSM for self-defense. I would like to add that her addition to the cast and being another player for public safety makes me feel like the story is once again highlighting the two prominent sides of an impending conflict soon: Church of Chainsawman and Public Safety. Perhaps, we may have a school chapter soon where we can once again see the dividing attitudes of both groups via the students.

Sword Man

The first time I read the chapter (in my 15-minute break), I had assumed that Sword Man was part of Public Safety/ part of Yoshida's team alongside Fumiko, but I then realize he isn't? Or more like nothing has been said yet about where he stands. For sure not with the Church of Chainsawman. We do see him wearing the school uniform and a Twitter user suggested that he could be the one that helped Denji back during the Falling arc*. Based on his choice of words, he seems to hold CSM in a higher regard compared to Asa who he described with the words "some fresh-nobody" and almost dismissive by saying how she is the Church's poster girl. His re-introduction did bring a lot of buzz, as seen on social media, with many hoping that past hybrids from the series make a return. * Tweet about Sword Man being the one that helped Denji in the Falling Arc

Asa and the Fame

Per a discussion and agreement with Fami, Asa is now actively fighting devils while being the "poster girl" for the church of Chainsawman. Asa and Yoru agreed while each having their own reason; to protect CSM (Asa) and to kill him (Yoru). In this chapter, we see Asa looking tired with a band-aid on her face while staring at the TV. Displayed on the TV, appears to be a talk show where the host describes Asa in a positive manner. The host used the word "beautiful" and Asa repeats the word as if to confirm that she did indeed hear correctly. Yoru then shares that it's not so bad receiving recognition which Asa attempts to downplay by saying that "[they] aren't doing this for the praise...", she is doing it to protect CSM, and that it's creepy. However, Yoru sees through. We, the reader, also understand that it's not entirely true as Asa is shown smiling in a certain manner. Her smile makes me think of those smiles we sometimes make unknowingly when nervous or lying. Either way, the smile Asa gives feels questionable. The smile does low-key remind me of the smiles Yoru would make in previous chapters. Regarding Asa's development in this chapter, it looks like it could take the route where the newfound fame gets to Asa's head. I'll explain a bit below, but most of the time that this conflict is used in media, it doesn't serve the character well. It's sort of always used as a cautionary tale about fame getting to people's heads. Although, I can't blame Asa for feeling the way she did because getting recognition/praise feels good; she seen. It's human to seek approval at times because it also affirms our actions as 'correct'. I could more in-depth about this another time. On a lesser scale, something similar to what is occurring has played out. Remember the Aquarium arc? Asa was all smiles and confident when she pulled out that cell phone because she had others saying good things about her as she became their hope for a way out. Unfortunately, she fell and in came Haruka's criticism that crushed Asa. Wonder if something like this will play out again as falling at important moments has been an explicitly stated problem Asa has. Perhaps, she will deal with a 'fall' during her peak as a Devil Hunter? This is really random, but I suddenly made the connection with Mean Girls regarding Asa's current predicament. To be exact with the trope 'becoming the mask'. I think the trope loosely applies to Asa. Below are the comparison drawn between Asa and Cady (main character of Mean Girls). - Join a group that they were told to join where both were skeptical at first base on what they saw and heard. For Asa, it was Fami telling her to join the Church of Chainsawman and for Cady, it was Janis who told her to join the Plastics. - Once in the group, they become accustomed to it and lose their original self. Here it's where it can loosely apply to Asa since it's implied the fame may be getting to her head, but we still don't see the severity of it. While in Mean Girls, Cady took over Regina's role and lost herself along with her friends/ unrecognizable to those close to her. By the end of the film, Cady acknowledges that being at the top of the chain by being a plastic made her lose her way, her friends, her parent's trust, and made her feel lonely ( ex. eating lunch alone again). Cady reverts to her true self and repairs those bridges; becoming happier. Who knows, maybe Asa will also go through something similar to that as it seems to be a pattern when the problem in a story is about a character letting fame get to them (Shark Tale is another example of that conflict in media lol) I have so much more to say about Asa in general, but I think I will leave that for another day.

Fami better come back soon to clue us in a bit more on what her plan is with the church. Fami said that she wants to save humans, but her planning brings in a lot of questions. There is also the Fakesaw Man, Justice Devil being back, the weird thing that seems to be haunting/advising Haruka, and the list goes on. Only time will tell.

Thank you for hearing my thoughts which can sometimes be all over the place. I was really excited doing one of these posts since it's been ages. If you would like to talk more, don't hesitate to send me a message.

Edit: whoa it got a weird format when it’s posted.

#csm 138 #asa mitaka #chainsaw man #I think I rambled far too long lol #the random ass comparison between Asa and Mean Girls lol or is it??#Note: long text post

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ophelliate · 1 year ago

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even MORE turtle thoughts (just watched the movie again)

here's the last post and ofc, spoilers under the cut –

god where do i even begin

okay i forgot to shout her out last time but april was great !! i find it super interesting that her locker being fixed is the final shot of the movie before the mid-credits. i feel like that shot confirms this idea that april is kind of part of the turtle family and their theme of acceptance. they were both rejected by the people around them but through bonding and helping each other out, they were able to be viewed in a newer light, together

i think the theme/act of helping people is actually super crucial to the story, april revived her reputation because the turtles helped give her a story, the turtles are helped by humans to save the day because april saved their image, the turtles were saved by splinter because he cares about his boys and the mutants helped them with the mutagen ray because they realized there was more to family and belonging than any sort of violence, the entire pattern is super neat to me since well...

i feel like a lot of turtle iterations end up with the turtles thinking "we're the only ones who can do this" and it always weighs a heavy and isolating burden on them, so to see them actually receive this support and have them realize that they aren't alone in this, it seems like these guys are gonna have a much healthier upbringing than in the past!

speaking of support though, all of the mutants are in the sewers now??? they just have one big-ass cousin family?!?! bro i know at least one person will make some sort of The Family Madrigal-like parody with them, i don't know why that was the first thing i thought of but the potential is there

oh yeah and mondo had at least one rainbow bracelet i think, all of his bracelets are probably multicolored but i saw a pattern and just giggled with it

something else kinda funny was that aside from the shell-cracking, almost every turtle had a near death moment but was saved by family

like, mikey was about to be ran over TWICE (one during the Splinter flashback and again at the car mechanic fight, forgot who saved him after splinter), raph about about to get shot in the same fight before i think donnie intercepted it, and donnie was about to get completely crushed by a car before raph caught him

the only one who didn't almost fucking die (at least that i didn't notice) is leo and honestly considering past iterations, that's somehow scarier for him

during the movie, the boy i ended up focusing on the most was raph to my surprise (since tbh he was my least fav beforehand) but really i was able to grasp a lot more into each of the four this time around (which i'm sectioning because god these bullet points are long)

Mikey

my gut's telling me that mikey has a lot of potential conflict when it comes to a human life, since i think he's sort of shown as the most vulnerable of the turtles, he's always the one who wants to interact with the human world, to have a real connection to it and the people

but he's also the one who gets hurt the most often, from almost being run over, being the first one drained of blood by cynthia, and getting those black eyes. we see very clearly that he keeps getting hurt despite his goal and ideals being– basically the exact opposite.

even with that though, he's the one who perseveres and ends up being the kind of hope in the team, even if he presents himself as the silly guy, and i feel like that strength will carry throughout the series in the process

Donnie

donnie is a bit different this time around. people have already noted that he was considered the friendliest one by his brothers, which most versions of the team would give that role to mikey. i imagine that it comes from his fandom background where he may or may not have online friends (his phone had app icon colors that looked similar to twitter, snapchat and line or whatsapp).

though, it's been pointed out that donnie's interest in the human world contrasts to mikey, where he's more interested in the general culture and what is created out of them which is a bit more distant than mikey's interests.

side note but i genuinely thought donnie isn't really a stem kid at first with the problem solving he was giving in the movie, which in my head i thought would be the writer's attempts to avoid any savant syndrome qualities with him. though after thinking about it/looking through some articles, i imagine that his tech-qualities will be explored later and/or after he gets some public education.

Raph

raph was pretty interesting now that i really focused on him this time around. where, 1.) he might be the second nerdiest of the group, and 2.) he still might be a foil to leo's character.

when it comes to raph, he ends up being blocked as "anger issues" though it seems like very showmanship kind of aggression, like what you'd see on television than any sort of malice. and then it hit me: these kids were raised on martial arts/actions films. raph's favorite movie was legit confirmed to be bloodsport. i don't think raph is a violent warhammer more-so is he trying to be like the people he may look up to, which are action stars.

he also just views a lot of fiction as fact more than his brothers, like when he's the one to bring up that you're supposed to like school like in the movies. in a way, he's like a jeff winger nerd to donnie's abed.

the second thing to this is that raph seems to be the one who wants to distance himself from his family the most, though he admits to still loving them at the end of the day. he wants to differ himself from his brothers and splinter, so he does that by attempting to rebel and act like only type of "cool guy" he really knows, which luckily it seems like he enjoys doing it at least. this desire to distance himself is also likely what charges his need to be with humans, unlike mikey and donnie.

oh yeah, and something interesting is that raph was actually the first one to go to splinter when scared in the flashback, and it makes me think that something may have happened to change that dynamic to make him act the way he is now, that or its pure teenage rebellion

Leo

leo was kind of hard to grasp, maybe it was because i didn't relate to him as much, or he's just starting out, but what i got out of him now is still something that's hard to articulate.

at the start, leo was very distant from his brothers, staying in the shadow and following splinter's rules to a T. it made me wonder why exactly it was april to trigger his rebellious side and start being more in the group thereafter, but it seems like what connects leo to really anything is his own tangible relationships, or things he can really connect to in a non-conceptual way

yeah, he thinks humans are cool and wants to be with them as much as his brothers, but he puts his priorities on his family because he thinks that is all he can realistically have and doesn't strive for more. he looks up to his father since he thinks his wisdom is the best solution for his family's safety and happiness.

BUT, when he meets april, he goes "oh, pretty girl, i'll help her out" (which like, completely fair), and likely the plan was for nothing else in return. But it's when april befriends them does it really click to him that this impossible dream life is actually possible. and THAT'S the moment leo starts rebelling, going behind splinter's back, and getting closer with his brothers.

he acts on what he thinks is best for the people he loves and cares about, and his desires are more based on the people around him than himself or anything conceptual. it contrasts with raph since his desires center more around individuality than anything, so i feel like there's something that might happen between that. that or leo figures himself out before any conflict erupts in the process.

oh yeah and one last thing

in the mid-credits, when the boys are highlighted in cynthia's recordings, the boys end up being numbered out of order, where mikey is 1, leo is 2, donnie 3 and raph 4. this may not mean anything in the end but it feels a bit odd to be something non-important.

aside from that, i'd love to hear y'alls thoughts! i just had a lot in my mind and needed to put it somewhere (and apparently a lot is an understatement holy shi–)

#warning: this is a long post #mutant mayhem #tmnt #tmnt mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem spoilers

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longtimespentinagalaxyfaraway · 8 months ago

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And so the first casualty to the Legends declaration has been finished... </3

Finished reading Dawn of the Jedi: Force War issues #1 - 5, and kriff, I wish we had gotten more.

This was my favorite of the three arcs, and I feel like it had actually started to find its legs (or balance, ironically) with this one. Alas, this was the last arc due to the shift from Dark Horse to Marvel after Disney's purchase of Star Wars in 2012 ending the series. The creators did their best to wrap things up in a mostly satisfying way, but we close out this first era of the Legends timeline confirming what I had expected going in: It had a lot of potential, and ultimately just not enough time to spread its wings.

(Couldn't believe no one has made this meme before, at least that I can find so I made a crappy one on my own lol)

I will be turning to AO3 as soon as I finishing typing out my thoughts. If you have any recs, please do let me know :P

Issue #1 of Force War takes place a full year after the end of Prisoner of Bogan, which places it in 25,792 BBY. The series was published in 2013 and ended in March 2014, a month before the Legends Declaration. (Which I just now realized happened 10 years ago yesterday. What is time. Help.)

Gonna put the rest of my thoughts beneath a read more because there shall be spoilers.

Alas, no OT4. Not even a platonic OT4. That's probably my biggest disappointment of the series, honestly. Sek'nos gives into the dark side and carries Trill's body? corpse? off into force knows where mid battle, Tasha turns into the moon

that's rough buddy

...Tasha dies surrendering her body to the Force to protect Tython. And we don't get to see whether Shae or Tau give a kriff about either. :|

Like I said in some of my previous posts, I was mostly joking re hoping for an OT4 in a shippy way. But I wanted more platonically between who were supposedly the four main characters, or the four that were at least presented as such at the beginning of the series.

Tasha kind of got sidelined a bit, and I found I wasn't really sad at her death because we never really got the chance to know her as a character. She was super cool, and very powerful, and we knew there was tension between her family ties and her Je'daii ties... and then that storyline kind of just fizzled out.

Likewise with any sort of relationship between Tasha and any of the other characters, and any sort of relationship between Sek'nos and Shae.

I feel like this arc finally hit its stride in that the characters clearly knew each other more, but I really missed getting any sort of build up or development. What happened to the force bond that Sek'nos and Tasha had with Xesh/Tau? I really wanted to see more between everyone who had the force bond, but all we really got in the end was Shae and Tau.

Which, to be clear, I did very much enjoy. I really liked both of them as characters and felt they had a lot of potential. I liked seeing Shae use her anger but refuse to be consumed by it in the end. I thought that was really interesting to see in a Star Wars story.

Likewise, I enjoyed the relative nuance to Xesh/Tau's story. I like the balance it struck where yes, he had done terrible things, and he isn't innocent. But he was also forced into it, not given a choice, but ultimately it is his choice to sever the ties that bound him that gives him the choice to heal and grow. I would have liked to see that story progress.

Also. This line? So damn good.

All in all, Dawn of the Jedi was an interesting story that was ultimately just not given the time it needed to truly explore its era, which is a shame, because it had such potential.

And thus ends the era I labeled "Before the Old Republic" on my timeline. Next up, a 500 year jump into the Old Republic era which I will be in for much longer, lol. I think this was the shortest era on the timeline by far.

#star wars #star wars eu #star wars legends #star wars challenge #dawn of the jedi #expanded universe #star wars expanded universe #a long time spent in a galaxy far far away #star wars comics #shae koda #sek'nos rath #tasha ryo #xesh #tau #star wars dawn of the jedi

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unityrain24 · 2 years ago

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Loki's been my comfort character for years, and having comfort character has been one of my most important coping mechanisms.

When they announced the Loki Series, i immedietly became... uneasy? Especially when they said that it would be on the Loki from the split timeline in Endgame, meaning that it wasn't even going to be about the same character. And i this alternate version of Loki also had movies worth of character development just.. scrapped. Anyways this also presented another problem in my mind: since both characters were just called "Loki", if I said my favourite character was Loki, plenty of people would think it meant the Loki from the TV series, rather than the Loki that was in the rest of the MCU. Not to mention plenty of people just sort of view them as the same character. Anyways, this made me go from being uneasy to downright dreading the release of the series. And the thought of my comfort character being taken away from me/"ruined" (and me being misunderstood by others) did NOT help what was my increasing suicidalness at the time.

Mans then things only got worse when it released- it's like it confirmed my worst fears and more.

Not to mention everything I previously said coming true, there was so much more to it. The shit queer "representation" (despite the big hype marvel/journals were putting out), the "romance" between loki and sylvie (i don't even know what it counts as, incest? some strange variation of selfcest? idk) (but either way if sylvie was masc we know it never would have happened), making Loki like... stupid? a background character to his own show? Not to mention lots just seemed out of character (i do realize there were some things that were in character, like "i don't enjoy hurting people" etc, but still. there was a lot of out-of-character). And as sort of a side thing that's not that important, the whole aesthetic of the show just... didn't seem to fit what the aesthetic of a show about Loki would be called. I feel like I would have been a *bit* less angry at the show if it was called "Variant" or something, but i still would be unfashionably upset.

Also just... most of the MCU's recent things (except shang-chi, i liked that) have just... totally ruined it for me. The MCU used to be a thing I would escape to, something I loved so, so much, but what they've done recently? I hate it, which makes me hate the MCU as a whole. And it feels aweful to have something like that ripped from you.

Anyways. Sorry to sort of... take over your post? I don't want to seem rude/self-obsessed? so don't even know who you were talking about, but i relate.

(also to anyone who wants to argue & tell me the Loki series was great, please don't. I know you like it. I know lots of people like it. I see posts and fanart and fics all the time, and it just reminds me of that sick feeling inside of me)

"You look sad" yeah mcu writers completely ruined my comfort character

#marvel #mcu #loki #mcu loki #loki series #loki season one #loki show #loki tv show #loki tv series #loki series slander #i hate marvel's character decisions #they ruined steve too #anti loki series #unityrain.txt

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xoteajays · 1 year ago

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Attractive men are already attractive, but adding all these tattoos and piercings to attractive men would be a bonus to me. Especially for Asian men. And I'm saying "especially Asian men" because of how really uncommon it is. Japan associates tattoos with a lot of criminals like yakuza, and it's also same in Korea. Korean also associates tattoos with some criminals, thugs and gangster too. Just like how it is in Japan. Actually! In Korea, the only why you can get tattoos is by a doctor instead of a tattoo artist. It's so weird.

That is why whenever I am attracted to most Asian musicians, they're attractive men covered in tattoos and piercings. Which isn't really a surprise though.

Maybe Cobra should have tattoos?

For the Exile Tribe musicians. So I don't know about any tattoos but they do have a lot of piercings that I have seen. So those guys at least have piercings.

The only time you ever see Cobra with black hair is when he was a child. And since Sannoh would have the Puma siblings at the barber shop, I would which one dyes Cobra's hair? If he does not dye his hair all by himself. Maybe Orange helps him dye his hair.

And I've mentioned this before with someone else... I imagine Rocky going to a hair salon. Not only does his hair look healthy after he bleaches his hair, since his hair does look healthy. I could also even imagine the hairdresser being a woman. Because she would get a decent tip afterwards since Rocky likes to just help women in any ways he can. And if he does end up overhearing gossip about how men mistreat the women, you might hear even more gossip that they were sent to the hospital. All thanks to Rocky too.

But that's what I kept thinking about for Rude Boys. If they didn't have money to buy any dyes, does this mean they stole hairdye? But with how bright P has died his hair, you'd have to bleach before dying that color. This is coming from someone who will always dye their hair different colors. My hair is blue now.

And if you're bleaching your own hair, professional bleach is different than bleach you'd get in a box of dyes. Not the same. Boxed bleach is very damaging compared to professional bleach. The hair is always fried afterwards. It's better to get professional done since they actually know what they're doing with all those products. So I don't know about Rude Boys.

Almost did recognize you meant Hirōmi. I was very shocked to know that was Hirōmi since I'm used to seeing him with short hair, and even his long hair I'd seen was still technically short. That is the longest I have ever seen his hair so that definitely threw me a bit. But I'm getting used to it now. Still a bit weird.

I won't lie.. I almost thought Yang could have won if it was possible. He had the giant knife! Or was it the giant sword? Whatever that blade was. I thought he was going to win. Until you find out about knives in Myeong's made Yang bleed out a lot.

Does Bibi get revenge for her family? How does she feel when Ju moves to Rome? Those questions..

These boys need every bit of affectionate. I am not an affectionate person, but being around them just makes me want to be really affectionate with them.

Gun definitely needed affection in every way, from hugs to kisses. And also a shoulder to cry on too.

If you read the complete webtoon, you will find out that the original plot of Bloodhounds ends with more clarity: we see Myeong-gil in prison, confirming that he was arrested. Meanwhile, Geon-woo, Woo-jin, and Hyun-ju will start a sort of bloodhounds agency, focusing on good clients. So, in general, we could say that the plot of Bloodhounds could continue, both in the original webtoon and the Netflix series. However, the two stories could take different directions: the webtoon could focus on the new adventures of the three young people with their new agency, whereas the Netflix series could still propose some plot twists that would let Myeong-gil and In-beom be back in the game.

And this.. This is another reason why I have to really read the webtoon comics. For more details about it, for more details about the story and characters too.

I didn't hate the ending. It was mostly a happy end.. At least for the boys and Gun's mother, and also the wealthy guys they worked with. Mr. Oh and Da-min, they're also alive. And Ju's living in Rome right now.

I blame the actress. I'm assuming because of them having to rewrote the ending multiple times.. This is the ending they settled with. That's why I'm curious about the original ending for the show. And if they'd continue the show - since that wasn't clarified, then what would happen in any more seasons after this.

I didn't hate the ending. But I also wished there was just a little more to the ending too, like more details with some parts of the plot. I don't know. Just more details.. And so this is why I'm blaming the actress.

Seriously. I'm not trying to objectify these men, and I know you would say different though. But.. I am so serious about this. Those boys really take good care of themselves, their bodies, and they'd still exercise together too. And seriously, their asses do look very great in those tight pants and shorts. Diligent men.

As someone who isn't physically active, there's this part of me that wants to exercise to be healthy a lot the times I see characters like this because you just always notice how great in shape these people are.

Or at the very least, I would like to learn martial arts for self defense. Or something... I don't really know.

But speaking of gloves and tight black clothes.. So I may have a style for post timeskip then based on all those details. Maybe. I don't know. But maybe I do.

Yeah. I didn't hate Da-min's character, I just wish we had more of her character for better opinions about her. And I did thick that was sweet of the boys, with they covering her eyes and ears. Even though I may have been looking at those muscles in those scenes a lot. But the reactions the boys had, especially Jin, when Moon threatened to puncture the guy's balls.

And I'm happy Jin got his revenge against this guy, since he was the guy who stab Jin.

Like I know she is about 5'6, but why the fuck does she look so small compared to the boys though.

And this is how my size kink comes in with them. I'll need to marry these guys soon.. This has to happen now. They're so perfect. Or I need a man like them.

Then I'll start sending some pictures over then... I'm not sure you would use those visuals for her but you might. I don't know. But I'll still send the pictures.

This is why I rotate fandoms.. I'll work on whichever characters I have inspiration for at the moment, but then go back to them when I have more ideas when I do think up of ideas. Like sometimes when I'm just not overthinking about it, about characters, I would get some ideas for them. That's why I rotate with so many fandoms, stories, characters, ideas, anything.

I just work on what I'm inspired by in that moment.

Because I think it's easier for me that way.

I don't think I've seen the pink hair? But his height... 183 cm or 184 cm, depending on the site you would read from. Which makes him slightly over six feet.

He didn't seem that tall in All Of Us Are Dead but I'll be rewatching that again soon. So I don't know.

But again, as a short person like myself, everyone is taller than me. So I probably wouldn't have noticed.

i think some of the exile members have tattoos. i know at least one of the singers in generations has tattoos. not sure about everyone else. none of the main guys i’m looking at when i’m watching videos, unless they’re fake ones. a lot of ear piercings tho.

since the barbers are kinda his friends, i can see him going to them. or if he’s been dyeing it a while, he just does it himself at home.

i bet all the women love rocky at the salon. kizzy probably goes to the same place because hairdressers have the best gossip.

i used to dye my hair a lot too and it takes forever and you can’t just slap bright colours on like that. do they just have bleaching parties? takeshi at least isn’t bleached bleached, like it’s on the darker blonde side as opposed to cobra and rocky. i made a joke to myself that pi’s bandana hides his dark regrowth.

the long hair is definitely a whole different vibe on him. he dyes his hair a lot for the jsb videos tho. like he’s had a silvery tone and blonde and a lighter brown too. i do think he looks better with dark hair tho.

i was hoping yang was going to win but i knew he wasn’t because it wasn’t good for the plot if myeong gil died there, because there’d be no showdown with the two lead characters. and i knew he wasn’t going to just leave because yang would’ve chased him down. so the only way it was going to end was with yang dead. which SUCKS because i liked yang!!

bi uses her dad’s knifes for the last two episodes. she punches jae myeong for his disrespect against her father. she doesn’t get to fight myeong gil because she’s downstairs helping jin with in beom, but she’s pleased to see that gun’s beat him. she’d prefer him to be dead, but she’s convinced towards gun and jin’s ‘no killing’ thing over the six months they spend together. if i decide to keep ju in her story, then she’s pissed about ju just leaving without saying anything, probably calls her a lot and leaves her a lot of voicemails.

at least with my rewrite, gun’ll have bi there to hug him since ju just ditched before she even knew jin was going to be okay. like i know she was in pain but jeez.

since gun and jin got those gold bars from min beom, they could put those together (or one bar each) towards starting the bloodhounds business, since they gave most of the gold away to build that hospital. or they could go in a different direction for the show, but i’m not sure what. i think it’d be interesting to introduce a new villain and have myeong gil as a b-plot for a while while he’s in prison. maybe alluding to his connections that could get him out.

it was a happy ending it was just very abrupt. like it just goes ‘happy ending, hug, boom! credits!’. like it’s over very quickly. it’s probably just because of the rewrite and they were strapped for time and put more into the fights and such.

it also feels very. closed. like most shows have more open, ‘ooh what’s going to happen in season 2~’ endings, but bloodhounds didn’t. it’s just. over real quick. i hope they don’t can the show just because of ju’s actor.

i am objectifying them. i’m looking inappropriately. they open up the first episode with gun in shorts and his thighs looking muscular! and i’m supposed to act regular about it? never.

i’ve got that interview video about their workout regime in my watchlist. will need to take a look at it. but they’re both clearly very in shape and gun’s actor mentioned in a short i watched that he and jin’s actor enjoy working out. and that they’re both homebodies, boy me too.

she needed more than a couple of scenes across two episodes. jin and gun being so horrified by the ball stabbing is funny to me; also i just know bi wouldn’t be having the same reaction. she’d be like ‘yea. stab him’.

she looks so small but 5’6 isn’t even that short! i need to see how shorter girls compare to them. i also think the guys both just have. large hands. they’re tall dudes afterall.

here’s what i’m thinking for a rewrite to replace ju with da min. here’s how i can still win.

da min is oh’s granddaughter, so she grew up around choi enough to see him as a second grandfather. seeing her as a granddaughter since he had no children of his own, he offered to pay for good schooling for her and even a good compound bow when she showed interest in it and joined her school’s club. after her military service - if she wasn’t exempted, i couldn’t find a good list for reasons for exception but she has pretty bad eyesight since she wears glasses/contacts - she comes to work for choi at his loan business. she gets to have a taser too, since it’s not easy to haul around a compound bow everywhere. choi hires gun and jin for her protection, but she’s still as stubborn about it as when they come to her apartment. she still accuses them sometimes of being perverts or smelling bad, doesn’t trust them quickly, but sighs and puts up with it and eventually warms up to them. she’s got her bow for the underground fight. gun still has to carry her out of the house after she finds choi dead. she doesn’t just leave the hospital before finding out jin’s going to be okay, oh probably shows up too to make sure they’re okay. she trains a lot with her bow during the six month time skip, and they still use her apartment as a home-base. her grandfather’s abduction goes all the same, no need for rewriting that. i think she’d be friendly with the police tech lady. she watches gun fight myeong gil on the boat but can’t help because she can’t risk firing an arrow and hitting gun.

unfortunately have to give up the cute lee & ju moments since da min doesn’t look much like lee and i cant imagine da min on a motorcycle. might have to swap bi for that part, she’s already got her knife, she’d just need to learn how to ride a bike.

to also tie in eun bi, she and da min went to school together but weren’t really friends. da min didn’t have many friends beyond her fellow archers and they were more competitive than friendly; bi also didn’t have many friends because she broke the school’s baseball star’s elbow because he was being a douche to female students (including her).

i didn’t notice how tall he was in all of us are dead, but i think that’s because a lot of the other guys are decently tall too (most around ~180cm). maybe he looks that tall in comparison to the girls, but i don’t remember. you’ll have to let me know if you do end up rewatching it.

#tj answers #long post //#long post anon

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ennaku-sirri-da · 1 year ago

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UPCOMING final ROSEVERSE postings for now

I just want to share things that I feel are the most impactful or were good writing.

The comic about Dr.Habit being transgender in a way I feel also, and that is like these quotes...--" My gender is like a dance between a man and a woman." And "I am a gender bender, a beautiful confusion, a butterfly"--- I want you fellow transgender, transsexual, gender diverse people to see it. If it helps you, I'd be happy. I'm also like you.

The old character portrait from the unposted Habitican series for Kamal because it was really good, and really creative, and I worked hard on it. ...I wish I also did more with him, to be honest. But atleast I can say I tried. A lot.

The short drabble about Kamal being adoptive brothers with Death. Who could that be....heh, it's Wallus! I just find it deeply sweet.

The "Your ATM pin is my birthday?!?" drawing with both of them. It's quite cute. Just want a silly thing.

The Randy fic about him taking an...erm...ADULT career....but ITS A JOKE like I'm serious. May have to edit the original A bit but .. It's an absurdly amusing fic about how Randy's fandom manages to shut down the functioning of the USA for a really short really weird time. It's stupid and I hope atleast some people will get some laughs. I love to make people laugh.

Another fic from Kamal's point of view where he deals with his suicidal friend and roommate Habit. Feeling an array of emotions himself. Suicide is a topic near to my heart and a theme over my life so far. This ones not a confirmed posting but I might, you know. It's important to me either way. People have many ideas about why and how someone is suicidal but it's important to know it could be anyone. Precisely making it something so painful. And you won't always feel like you've reassured someone out of it, and that you yourself are alright-- seen here through the POV. This one expressed my fear, my fear that no one will understand me and my frustrations. My hope, my hope that someone cares after all through everything. I also felt I wrote Kamal the best here after a lot of struggle. It shows how friendship has taken me through all sorts of emotions in my life through the lens of these two guys.

And finally I'll post the Roseverse tribute video here. Along with the THE END picture from two years back. This story healed me, hurt me, I hated it, I loved it, I was angry, happy, scared for my life, depressed, overjoyed, in deep love, everything, everything, with Roseverse. It's not just a story to me anymore but a person. A person I made. That's why I call it Rosie. A person with people within it that I deeply wish I treated better. I'm sorry and I love you Rosie.

Theres the Martha fic about how, her and Habit's starved high-school friendship finally broke irreparably( based on my life too )but I think that one needed to be finished to completion to fully do both of them justice? Or something like that. So I wont be posting just a single piece but hey if you ever wanna hear it from me, you can DM me. It'll be fine.

I don't wish to make this post as one more goodbye message so I'll stop here. I'll share other thoughts when I post the tribute on here.

#List #I say #Txt #Suicide mention tw #roseverse

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halliescomut · 2 years ago

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Love in the Air Episode 8 thoughts

Okay y'all. This is probably going to be a long one, but I wanted to put up a more detailed breakdown of my thoughts about episode 8. I typed all of this in Word first, so that I could try and make it as organized as possible, but my thoughts tend do skew toward rambly-ness (you've probably noticed). This post is about 1900 words, so I also understand if you don't feel like reading all of it.

So I don’t know what would be easier, in terms of structure for this? But, I’ve decided on character by character. So I’m going to start with Sky, as he’s the one we kind of have the most insight to so far, since we have a good amount of interaction with him through Rain’s story in the first half of the season. For clarity, I have not read the novels, so any info I have on those is based around other posts on the internets. I will also say that my thoughts come from where I am, and are based around my own experiences, so of course I can be reading things differently than other viewers. Also, a lot of what I talk about are things that are subtextual (could be deliberate or not), so they are far more subjective.

When we meet Sky at the beginning of the season, he’s fairly reserved, shy-seeming, but he’s not a push over. With the friendship between him and Rain, Rain is the more vocal one, slightly less mature than Sky, and because it suits him Sky just leaves Rain to pull focus. Rain is also more combative, whereas Sky seems to have a peacemaker personality (you see evidence of this during the club fight in the episode). Based around fan discussion of the series over the last several weeks, but this can be observed just in the trailer for the show, you learn that Sky is a survivor of SA. This could certainly be a reason for his preference to stay out of any drama. He also shows himself to be very sarcastic, even snarky. He also doesn’t put up with Rain’s bullshit much more than Payu does. We don’t have a clear sense of a timeline, but I gather that Sky’s assault is fairly recent, with-in the last few months. This means that he still very early on in any type of emotional or psychological recovery, and it would track with intimate partner violence for him not to be seeking professional help with this recovery. I think, based on his reactions to Prapai’s proposition, that Sky has a negative self-image, brought about by someone who was supposed to care for him betraying his trust and dehumanizing him to gain physical pleasure. He’s just been presented with this sort of confirmation that his value is based around him being a sexual partner, not based around his personhood.

I also think that Sky is meant to be a bit of the other side of Rain’s coin. In the beginning, Rain is innocent, and also believes he is straight, so he’s learning a lot about his sexuality and by the end of his and Payu’s story is a lot more comfortable and assertive as a sexual partner. Sky is clearly out to some extent prior to where the show starts. He was openly dating another man, I think based around his comfortability with sex during the one-night stand, he was comfortable with and enjoyed sex prior to his trauma. I also think Sky, for all his pragmatism is a bit of a romantic. His willingness to do what he can as Rain’s wingman, and his pretty consistent encouragement of Rain and Payu, is where I get that feeling. We may get more confirmation of that later in the series, or not, who knows.

Now onto Prapai and Sky’s first meeting- Based on the acting and body language. Sky see’s Prapai, they make full eye contact sort of across the street. This moment of eye contact clearly reads to me as love at first sight, for both sides. Now relevance or realism aside, Rain and Payu are also a love at first site couple, and so I don’t think this is an off the wall read of the way this is presented in the show. Then the security sees him, and he tries to leave, gets caught, and Prapai intervenes (one could argue rescues), and they go behind the bus/van things. During the beginning of their conversation, there’s very sustained eye contact (which does not indicate fear). Then we get the proposition. Now Sky is here, a place his dirtbag ex knows of/possibly frequents, now this new guy that he finds physically attractive wants sex but doesn’t even ask his name. Sky jumping to the conclusion that this is just one more asshole, is not much of a leap, especially when Sky is aware these are illegal races and such. Prapai goes to touch his face, and Sky stops him, rolling his eyes, and you can just hear him thinking of course, not a nice guy, but just another asshole who wants sex. They lock eyes again, Prapai says ‘time’s running out, tick tock’ and Sky closes his eyes, sighs, and grabs Prapai’s collar and tells him to ‘take it’. That last sentence happens in all of maybe 20 seconds, so there’s a lot going on here, but our brains work faster than we really know. Here’s what I think is going on in Sky’s head: 1-This guy is hot, 2-He’s also an ass, clearly only interested in sex, 3-but I would like to have sex with him. Then he does what a lot of trauma survivors do, he makes a destructive decision with decent certainty that he’s at least going to get temporary pleasure out of it. Now…the ‘just take what you want’ that’s a heavy line, and I think it’s partly Sky putting Prapai in control so that he can sort of write off the decision he’s made. I think it could also be read as a sort of test, which Prapai fails. Now in my very first post about this, I said that I didn’t feel this was coercion, and I don’t. I truly believe that Sky would have the balls to say fuck you to Prapai, whatever the consequences. The issue is that he’s tempted by Prapai, and he’s not emotionally ready for that temptation.

Once we move to the scene at Prapai’s apartment, that entire scene, Sky is an active participant, and regularly in a position of control. These are unspoken cues of consent. He’s clearly enjoying himself and I would kind of describe it as Sky using Prapai the way he assumes Prapai is using him. There’s no affection, just attraction. Sky also…goes back for seconds. And when he leaves, and the adrenaline and serotonin are gone, we see him in the front of the building, and all of these emotions are hitting him. He’s angry, but anger is a secondary emotion—it’s a response to other deeper emotions. The cause for his anger is sadness and shame. He’s ashamed for letting his baser instincts get the better of him, for giving another person the ability to hurt him, and he's sad because he feels dehumanized. Sky is recovering from trauma based around him being used, and he now feels used by Prapai (unintentionally on Prapai's part, but that's not the point).

He goes home, he goes on with his life, he wants to forget, but he can’t, for I think a combination of reasons. 1- he’s still not dealing with the trauma from his ex, stuck in those negative thoughts about his own self-worth, 2-he was interested in Prapai before deciding he was an ass, 3- He did enjoy the sex, and if you like sex, and you’re not having any, it’s hard not to think about good sex.

Now let’s talk about Prapai. I will be clear, that I have a bias for his type of character. I enjoy a reformed rogue, and that’s going to color my opinion, along with the fact that unlike Sky, we as the audience have a lot more information and context to Prapai’s personality. I don’t believe Prapai was serious about handing Sky over to security, apparently in the novel this is more clearly expressed, but I will say that I also felt like he was joking on my first watch of the episode, before I saw the commentary about the book offering that additional context (EDIT: Here's a link to a post from lutawolf with excerpts from the book regarding their first interactions) . He's also still a stranger to Sky, so it’s understandable that he would assume that he was serious, especially with Sky’s own biases and history. I think Sky’s bravado in telling Prapai to ‘take what he wants’ leads Prapai to believe that Sky was down for stringless sex. The conversation later between Prapai and his brother, along with his booty call, would indicate that Prapai is a regular participant in stringless sex. And there’s nothing wrong with stringless sex, the issue here is that this assumption by Prapai in combination with Sky’s history leads to Prapai hurting Sky unintentionally. This is one of the dangers of sex with someone you don’t really know.

Once that night is over, Prapai’s still thinking about Sky, for the same reasons Sky’s still thinking about him (the love at first sight moment and the sex being very good). As someone who’s never encountered this, he doesn’t know what to do. During the conversation with Saifah, he realizes that he wants to know more about Sky, he’s intrigued by him. Prapai is a guy who clearly has a great deal of drive, who grew up very privileged, and so it’s not surprising to see him pursue Sky the way he does. There is entitlement there, I’m not arguing that, but that’s why it's good and important that Sky doesn’t just swoon for him. Sky’s not falling for a charming mask; been there, done that, still processing that betrayal. In order to win Sky over Prapai’s going to have to be very honest with him, because Sky struggles with trust (understandably).

I talked in a previous post about how Love in the Air is character-driven, not plot driven. The point is the growth of the characters, both individually and as couples. Prapai is going to have to be honest and real with Sky in order to form any type of relationship with him. As someone whose never really tried to create a true emotional connection with a romantic partner, that’s going to be where his growth is. His affection for Sky is what’s going to get him there. For at least a couple episodes we’re going to see Sky regularly brushing off his advances, and if Prapai wasn’t so intrigued he would give up. Prapai knows he can get it whenever he wants, he’s got the numbers in his phone. He wouldn’t be focused on Sky if there wasn’t that kernel of emotional connection and affection already there. Prapai also thrives on challenge, his racing is a clear allusion to this, and Sky is a challenge to him. Sky’s journey is going to be recovery of his ability to trust a romantic partner and regaining/recognizing his self-worth.

I did want to mention that I’ve seen several mentions about Mame’s pretty consistent use of SA as a plot device. I’ve personally only seen TharnType and Love in the Air, I’ve not read anything or seen any other shows from them, but SA is a plot point in both. I do agree that use of that type of trauma as a plot device, especially repeatedly can be very much an ick, and that’s reasonable. For the character of Type and for Sky, the part of their story we’re seeing is their healing journey, and I do think that representation is important for other survivors.

#love in the air #love in the air episode 8 #prapai x sky #sky x prapai #fort thitipong #peat wasuthorn

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the-blind-assassin-12 · 10 months ago

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If you’re looking for something new to read and be completely and entirely immersed in, something with action and high stakes, something with seriously fun characters and lore, something with smut so hot it will prompt you to stay thoroughly hydrated, do yourself a huge favor and check this series out.

Getting Frankie’s POV in all of this is something I that have been excitedly waiting for since the start of this series, and MAN was it worth the wait! I always love when you shift the POV and give us parts of a story from different characters. Even if we can sort of guess at what the alternate characters are thinking or feeling when the story is being told from Reader's perspective, it's always helpful/satisfying to have that either confirmed or cleared up when getting inside another character's head. And I think you always do a great job at deciding what should be or needs to be shown from a different POV in terms of what will advance or enrich the story the most.

ALL THAT BEING SAID - I think I said this already but if I didn't I definitely meant to, and if I did well I'm gonna say it again: I think this is the most important POV shift that you've ever done in a story. Because of who and what Frankie is, because he's got both human and supernatural instincts and emotions, because he's still learning a lot about himself and about how to manage the wolf part of his life, it's not just beneficial or fun or satisfying to get his take on things. It's actually crucial to the story and to the relationship that is growing between him and Reader.

It's also great because it gives us a chance to see more interactions where Reader isn't present - like the two between Frankie and Pope here. It was great getting to see the way his friends support him through this and not just hear about it. And I'm so glad he has them - and Pope in particular - not only to talk to, but to be challenged and pushed by.

Being in Frankie's head for the scene when Reader pulls a gun on him was perfect. Him wanting to console her and make sure she knows she doesn't have to fear him? Him feeling such intense rage at the thought of her being hurt? Yeah, this just makes me fall even more in love with him. He is so protective and his feelings and instincts are so pure and primal and yeah it's in part because he's a wolf, but it is also just Frankie, and I think you are doing an outstanding job at using the wolf traits to highlight his human ones.

The last conversation here between Frankie and Pope is up there among my favorite scenes you’ve written for either of them. The relief and trust and comfort and love that is their friendship is so palpable.

You’re doing something really special with this story and the way that you’re fleshing it out so fully. There’s so much canon detail that you’ve managed to keep while still adding story-specific lore. I’m going to have a TON more to say about the rest of Frankie’s POV in the next part, so stay tuned. Thank you as always for crafting this story with so much care and for sharing it with all of us!! 🐺

Liminality: Part 6.5; Frankie's POV

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Female Reader

Word Count: 9,152

Rating: M - both in terms of content and overall subject matter.

Summary: Frankie is sick of lying to you, and as more time passes, it's becoming a larger issue.

When the truth is forced to light, he finds out whether or not the growing feelings for you are all for nothing ... or a chance to be everything

Author’s note:

I've been looking forward to getting into Frankie's head for a LONG TIME, and this chapter seemed like the right place to start with that. A few of you have asked what his take on this whole thing is - so here you go.

This takes place alongside chapter 6. Thank you for reading. PLEASE feel free to reach out if you have any questions, comments or concerns.

Masterlist (for the journal entries and all of the other 'extras' + previous chapters)

“I need to tell you somethin’, ‘Fish.”

He made his way through the bushes and toward the clearing, keeping his eyes on Pope’s face. Frankie was exhausted - like always - but the set of his friend’s shoulders and the downward turn of the other man’s lips brought him back to full alert, even as he pulled a t-shirt over his head. “What happened?”

“Benny called last night.” Pope sighed, gesturing to the open door of the RV. Despite being on edge at the few words - and tone - Frankie walked past him, immediately heading for the bathroom, Pope only a few steps behind. Gripping the edge of the counter with one hand while he brushed his teeth, Frankie waited, trying not to let his imagination run wild. He was with her last night. He was with her and … “Benny called last night,” Pope spoke up once he finished, stepping out of the way and following as Frankie walked the short distance to the refrigerator, pulling a bottle of water out and lifting it to his lips before tilting his head back to drain most of it in one go. “They heard fuckin’ wolves, Frankie.”

He crushed the bottle between his fingers and spun to face his friend, eyes wide. “What?” But I was here. I … I didn’t… that means… “Fuck.”

“Fuck is right.” Pope sighed, holding up his hand. “They didn’t see anything, but they were on the boat when it happened. All three of ‘em heard it, though.” Pope paused and Frankie just stared, his heartbeat pounding behind his ribs. “Benny called me on their way home to make sure everything was OK here, and -”

“To make sure it wasn’t me.” He curled his lip, narrowing his eye. “He called to make sure I -”

“He called to see where you were, yes.” Pope reached up, scratching his head and then pointed at the outline of the chain around Frankie’s neck. “I checked the AirTag. You were over by Little River. Nowhere near far enough south that they would have heard you. And they said wolves, Frankie. That means that there’s not just another one, but -”

“But there might be more.” For the first time since he was bitten, Frankie felt a spark of hope in his chest. Maybe another one figured out what was going on here and came to intervene. Maybe it means I won’t have to take care of it myself. Maybe … He shook his head to clear it, groaning as he reached up with one hand to drag his fingers through his hair. It doesn’t matter right now. “Is she… did she freak out?”

“He got her home safe. He called me again after he left her place. You’ve got a couple messages from them, ‘Fish. She texted you while he was on the phone with me, and then Benny sent the picture of her going inside like you asked for, but …” Pope shook his head. “Benny said she wasn’t scared. She looked … relieved when she heard the howling.”

“What? Why would -”

“I don’t know. He also told me that she jokingly said that maybe it was a werewolf.” Frankie sucked in a breath a that, moving to cross his arms but wincing at the way the muscles in his shoulder pulled with the motion. That’s gonna hurt like a bitch for a couple more days. “He said it didn’t seem like she was serious, but it threw him, because …”

“Because he knows that that’s all it could be. Fuck.” Frankie swore again, tossing the mostly empty bottle across the room. “What the fuck am I going to do, Pope? I’m already in over my head with one other wolf, and now there’s….”

“There’s somethin’ else, Fish.” Pope took another breath and met Frankie’s eyes, unblinking. “There was another attack. Happened at Hillsborough and came through on the scanner pretty much first thing this morning. Male. Mid 30’s. Reported by his girlfriend, and he was still alive when the call came through.”

He deflated at the news, scrubbing at his face with one hand. Another attack meant another month that he’d been unable to figure out who was responsible, and another person that would likely suffer the same way he had after getting attacked. “Any way we can figure out who it is?”

“I can see if Benny and Ironhead hear anything at the bar, but aside from that… no. Not really.” It was likely another dead end and Frankie knew it, but asking had helped a little. “You gonna call your girl?”

“She’s not my girl, Pope.” The answer was immediate, but Frankie felt a pang in his chest as he said it. “She’s only here for a couple months, and I’ve been lying to her since the second I met her, so…”

“D’you really believe that?” Pope chewed on his bottom lip, narrowing his eyes. “Not the lying part, because yeah, you’ve been doing that - we all have - but the part about her not bein’ yours?” He stepped closer, reaching out to settle a hand on Frankie’s shoulder. “I haven’t seen you like this with a woman before, even with Becca in the beginning.”

“Doesn’t matter, Santiago. She’s leaving. And I could never … never tell her the …” Even as he spoke, though, he let himself entertain the thought of spilling his secret to you.

He hadn’t ever truly wanted to reveal that part of himself to anyone new before you in the years since South America. He hadn’t even considered it, despite the fact that one of the relationships he’d had had lasted longer than all of the others put together, to the point where he’d started thinking about what it could be like to have someone around on a more consistent basis again.

He’d never made that leap, instead breaking things off before they could progress further. But now? After a month? With her?

“I’d lose her if I told her, and you know it.”

Pope was silent for a few seconds and then sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “Whatever you say.” Frankie knew that he wouldn’t keep pushing it, and when his friend continued, he was ready for it. “I’ve gotta get home. Yova’s waiting for me, and …” He sighed again. “You need to get some sleep.”

I do. Frankie reached down and pulled the chain from around his neck, hanging the AirTag on the small hook next to the door. “I’m ready. I need a shower and to get some ice on this shoulder.”

Frankie locked the door as Pope headed toward the car. When he took a seat, using one foot to push his bag out of the way, he finally reached for his phone and thumbed it unlocked. He saw your messages, the corners of his lips turning upward briefly at the way you went from fear about hearing wolves to excitement about the gators, though Pope’s comment about your lack of reaction to the howling was still on his mind.

And when he saw the picture of you by your front door, a sarcastic smile on your face and one hand raised in a wave, Frankie realized that he wanted to call you, if only to hear your voice. It was early, but he’d messaged you before heading to the airport previously, and you’d answered almost every time. So today won’t be different.

But you didn’t reply to his first text, the message unread for more than a few minutes. And you didn’t reply to the next one, either - or the first phone call he made to you, his voice steady though there was worry in his tone as he told you he’d seen your messages and couldn’t wait for you to tell him about the boat.

Pope didn’t say anything when he hung up, but Frankie had known him long enough to register the tension in his shoulders and the tightness in his jaw. There was no reason for him to be concerned, because you were probably just sleeping - it was early, and you’d been out sort of late the previous night.

So he sent another few messages, fingers flying over the keys.

Hey. Is everything alright? I’ve got a weird feeling, especially after talking to Benny.

Give me a call when you get this, please.

“‘Fish?” Pope glanced over, two hands on the wheel. “What’s going on?”

“I donno. I don’t like it, though. She always answers me in the morning.” He swallowed hard, shaking his head and staring down at the screen - and your unanswered messages. “You said the attack was -”

“Benny dropped her off. You saw the picture. They said it was some guy that was hurt. I don’t -”

“Something’s wrong, Santiago.” He tightened his hold on the phone. “I don’t know what, but… something’s wrong.”

He tried calling you a few more times, dialing and letting it go to voicemail before he hung up, fatigue replaced with frustration.

It was borderline obsessive behavior, and he didn’t know how he was going to explain it when he talked to you. Maybe I can just say I heard about the attack. Say that even though I knew she was home, I didn’t know if she’d go back, and… It was a thin excuse and he knew it… but that didn’t matter as Frankie dialed again and again, the sound of your line ringing endlessly almost taunting him.

Pope hugged him tightly when they pulled into Frankie’s driveway, the smaller man telling him to get some rest and that if he wanted to meet and have a beer later, to let him know.

Frankie assured him that he would, but instead of heading inside the moment his friend pulled away, he turned toward his truck and unlocked the door, climbing in.

It was reckless - and when his adrenaline wore off, he knew there was going to be a monumental crash. But it doesn’t matter, I need to know … I need to know she’s alright. He tried calling you again, and when all he got was the sound of you inviting him to leave a message, he threw the phone to the side and started the ignition.

—

Your car wasn’t in the driveway, and even though the early morning sun was shining brightly, he was chilled to the bone.

He peeked in the front windows and then tried the doorknob, feeling a tiny rush of relief at the fact that it was secured. Maybe you’d gotten an early start and headed to the beach. Maybe you’d gone out for breakfast or coffee and forgotten to turn your phone’s ringer back on. There were plenty of maybes, and though it was common for Frankie to skip ahead to the worst case scenario, he was hopeful that it didn’t need to be that way with you.

He’d just turned to go back to his truck when his phone rang, your picture on the screen. Thank fuck.

But the relief was short lived, because Frankie heard distress in your voice, along with concern. He could almost feel it seeping through the phone, and that fact scared him, even as you questioned why he wasn’t at the airport and he snapped back at you, wincing at the harsh tone of his voice.

And when you told him you were at the hospital, he shivered, his breath coming in short bursts as his fingers tightened around the phone. For her cousin.

He wondered if it was the same one that you’d mentioned the afternoon of your first flight, but as you told him you were on your way back, that thought slipped his mind, Frankie’s only concern figuring out exactly what was going on with you and trying to understand why he cared so much.

The half hour he waited for you was spent sitting in the driver’s seat of his truck, searching for more information on that morning’s attack. There was very little, aside from what Pope had already told him - and that frustrated Frankie to no end. Who the fuck is doing this and why are they doing it here? Why now?

When it was close to the time you’d said you’d be there, he got out and paced back and forth behind the truck for a few minutes before leaning against it, arms crossed. It hurt - his shoulder had been giving him trouble since the previous day, but it didn’t matter. He wasn’t sure what he hoped for with your arrival, but Frankie figured he’d know when he saw you, and that assumption proved to be true.

His mood lightened considerably when you pulled in, Frankie’s posture relaxing as some of the tightness in his chest disappeared. You looked tired and concerned, and if he had to guess, you’d gotten only marginally more sleep than him. But he was snapping at you before he could stop himself, trying to talk you out of what he knew was the truth. And she’ll believe it was wolves even more when she hears about the attack.

Nothing could have prepared him, though, for what he found when he followed you into your apartment and his eyes landed on the papers and pictures scattered around the living room. He saw it immediately, his heart sinking like a lead weight to settle in his belly, heart rate spiking. She wasn’t joking about it being a werewolf. She was looking for one. She knows … does she know about me? Is that why she’s been so … interested?

You didn’t want to tell him the truth, but you did, and he caught the look of anguish in your eyes as you spoke, almost like you were afraid to say the words. He was immediately defensive, crossing his arms as he shook his head and continued to question you, but the truth was that Frankie didn’t know what to think. If she knows there’s a wolf here, she knows what’s attacking people. But how? Why?

He caught the spark of fear in you as you inhaled sharply when he moved, though without skipping a beat, you continued to talk to him and even made a joke as he followed you toward the kitchen.

But he was familiar was behavior like yours and knew that you were going to bolt. Frankie could sense it in the way you carried yourself, and he didn’t even need the heightened wolf-senses to know that it was only a matter of when.

You broke for the bedroom and he followed you. Frankie moved slowly, not wanting to scare you any more than you already were. But if she’s running then she thinks I could … fuck, she must know.

He wasn’t expecting the gun.

He also wasn’t expecting the way you met his eyes as you questioned him and he questioned you back, Frankie’s hands rising, palms out in an attempt to placate you. He could feel it - the emotion inside of him, building up in a way that he was familiar with. Even though he’d just changed back hours ago, and had never turned wolf without a full moon, Frankie wondered if that would be the day it happened. No. It can’t. Not now. She’ll shoot me. She’ll shoot me, and …

When you mentioned the scar on his arm, he knew you knew, even if you didn’t want to believe it. His answer wasn’t a lie, but it bought him a few extra seconds of time, his mind going back to the day he’d been bitten and the rage he’d felt rolling off the teenager that had done it. “What are you really asking me?”

He saw you recoil - saw your grip on the gun waver, watched wordlessly as you winced at his words and tone, but then Frankie saw you steady yourself, shoulders going back as you stared straight into his eyes and questioned him again, that time about his shoulder. Why is she so fucking concerned about my arm?

He demonstrated that it was injured, watching as you blinked quickly at his movement, though you didn’t lower the gun, either, even as he explained what had happened and waited for your response. It was only one word - his name - and you sounded torn, the sound of it chilling him. But she hasn’t shot me. And she’s rational. And …

He only had one option - and that was to keep you talking, to get you to explain what was going on, hopefully giving himself a chance to do the same.

Your response wasn’t what he expected, though it explained a lot.

She’s pointing a gun at me, which means that she must think … oh, fuck. She thinks it was me that’s doing all of this. He considered your words and the fact that you hadn’t stumbled on Florida by accident shocked him. She’s been looking for a wolf since she was 18?

In that moment, he wished that he was the wolf you were looking for, because it meant that you could end it. You could end it, and you wouldn’t be in danger anymore. I won’t be a danger to anyone, and I won’t have to worry about … anything. He steadied himself with a breath, pushing the thoughts aside. But it’s not me. And that means she’s looking for …

It scared him how much the thought of you seeking out something so dangerous bothered him. But when you continued to question him, your finger inching toward the trigger, Frankie understood that not only had the point of no return with you come and gone, there was a chance that he was approaching the final minutes of his life, too.

Because even though it was his first instinct to lie to you, he couldn’t.

He’d lose you either way, but there were only two options that came with telling the truth: you giving him a chance to explain his answer, or you pulling the trigger as soon as you heard his admission. And I just want someone to know. Even if it means … this is it.

“I wish I could.”

It happened just as he thought it would - you put your finger on the trigger and his years of military training kicked in. Despite his fatigue, he was faster than you, his fingers closing around your wrist and squeezing. Frankie was mindful of the fact that he didn’t want to hurt you, even though the difference of a few seconds meant that you might have killed him.

But as soon as he had control of the gun, his grip on your wrist loosened enough that you could move it. He held you in place but didn’t restrain you entirely, even as you lashed out at him. It was more than that he didn’t want to hurt you. If he was being honest. Frankie wanted to console you, to make you understand and give you some peace of mind. I want her to know she doesn’t need to be afraid of me.

You screamed at him, but Frankie held you gently, taking a deep breath and repeating that he wasn’t going to hurt you, that he didn’t want to hurt you. The truth was that the thought of anyone or anything hurting you filled him with a rage that he hadn’t felt in years. But in the semi-darkness of your bedroom, he knew that it wasn’t the right time or place to dwell on those thoughts.

“Take off your shirt.” Your request astounded him, but when you continued, he started to understand, even though what you said made little sense to him. Attacked a wolf? What the fuck? He understood, though, and when you admitted that your cousin’s girlfriend was a wolf, too, he did as you asked, releasing you and ignoring the pain in his shoulder as he removed his shirt. If this is what she needs, she can have it. Because it wasn’t me and there won’t be anything to see.

He watched as you stared at him, eyes raking over his skin as he spun slowly, and when he met your gaze again, he felt another flicker of hope in his chest at the confusion in your expression. This is good. This is better than good. He took a chance and gestured to the other room, and when you nodded back, the movement tiny but still certain, he finally took a breath. One more thing.

Frankie reached for the gun then, slowly lifting it and holding it out to you, never looking away as he did it. He wanted you to feel safe - wanted you to understand that you were in control, and if it meant that it was going to happen with a gun in your hands and pointed at him, then he’d deal with it.

You didn’t point it at him, though, and when you sat down on the couch, watching as Frankie put his shirt back on and tried not to wince, he tried to come up with something to say. But where to start?

He decided to start at the beginning, and even though it was awkward, you made it less so when you leaned forward to listen, unblinking. You didn’t raise your voice or accuse him. You didn’t hold yourself like you were afraid of him, or position yourself defensively. You just waited, giving him a chance to speak…. And so he did.

He didn’t just tell you about the teenager in the middle of the jungle.

He didn’t just tell you about the aftermath of the bite.

He started at the very beginning - with what had happened before Pope came to them with the job in Colombia and left little out. And when he confessed to his cocaine use and the problems that stemmed from that, he watched your eyes fill with sadness.

He wanted to move - wanted to come and comfort you, to tell you that there was no reason for you to be upset about something that was so far in the past. But he stayed in place, taking a deep breath as he continued, needing you to hear it all.

Frankie’s admission that they’d stolen the money shocked even him, because that part was something that he hadn’t intended to tell you. It felt right, though, because like every other part of the story, it was so out there that there was no way he could have made it up. Talking about Lorea and the money explained the crash, and the crash explained the village

And the village explains the kid… which explains all of this.

You believed him. He saw the expression in your eyes change as you processed what he was saying, and Frankie knew that telling you had been the right call. It was the first time he’d spoken the words out loud in three years, and as they rolled off of his tongue, he felt lighter.

His friends knew what had happened, and had been dealing with it in their own ways ever since. But even though he had them, being able to tell someone new - someone that he cared about the way he cared about you - was a relief. And I didn’t think it would be.

As he spoke, he thought back to the first time he’d changed over, and the fear he’d smelled on each of his friends, though they hadn’t acted on that fear. He knew that if they hadn’t been exhausted, one of them likely would have. And then I wouldn’t be here now.

But his response to that night was proof that simple becoming a wolf wasn’t an immediate danger to the people around you. Because I didn’t want to hurt them. I knew them.

When you invited him to sit next to you, your voice cautious but clear, Frankie felt the last knot in his chest loosen. You weren’t going to kill him. You weren’t going to attempt to trap him … and if you wanted him to sit next to you, it meant that you - in that moment - weren’t afraid of him, or of what he was.

It was more than he’d been expecting, but it wasn’t something that he was going to take for granted.

He continued - telling you about coming home and getting the money back safely. He admitted to keeping the secret of his bite to an even smaller group than knew about the money. And when he admitted that Carmen and Becca didn’t know about either, Frankie expected you to get angry, because it was one of the things that he was most upset about, too.

But it was also proof of the fact that he trusted himself, because if at any point he’d thought he was going to be a danger to either of them, he would have removed himself from the situation, ensuring that the financial support never ended even if he wasn’t present.

Even though he and Becca had been long over by the time he’d come home, they’d still tried, and every lie he told had been like a knife through his heart. Not because he still loved the woman, but because if there was one thing Frankie knew, it was that lies always came back around. And because me still using would have meant that she thinks she failed. And she didn’t.

He couldn’t stop the tears from gathering in his eyes as he spoke. And he didn’t expect your response, either - the beginnings of an apology spilling from your lips until he stopped you, laying his hand atop yours cautiously as he continued his story.

It finally came back to you - and to why you were in Florida.

The first thing Frankie did was make it a point to tell you that he hadn’t been anywhere near where you were the previous night. He hoped you’d connect the dots between Benny’s phone call to Pope and Pope being with him, but Frankie still gave you more details. Because she needs to know more than the basics. She needs to understand that I’m doing my best.

You seemed shocked that he hadn’t spoken to anyone about his condition, and that surprised him a little, as did your immediate line of questioning about the second wolf. Because it means that she accepts that I didn’t do this. That I haven’t been doing this. It means … it means she believes me even though she knows.

It was you that closed the distance between the two of you, taking his hand and squeezing. He felt warmth in his chest then, the press of your palms together grounding him even as he thanked you for listening, through a tight throat.

But before you could tell him more about exactly what brought you to Florida, your phone rang and you answered it, giving Frankie a chance to watch you silently.

You did a lot of listening, chewing on your lower lip and tightening your hold on his hand before you pulled it free to rub your palm against your thigh. The loss of contact hurt, but it gave him a few seconds to collect his thoughts, the man’s heart pounding wildly.

There was no going back. He’d always assumed that if he ever told anyone else, it would be because they were with him and planning on staying - and you weren’t. So that means she takes this with her.

Your voice cut in through his thoughts, and when he heard you mention him speaking to Ashley the following day, it floored him, Frankie sucking in a breath as his eyes widened. You reached out, your smile growing as you set your hand on his knee. Frankie broke eye contact and stared down at the way it looked against his leg, uncertainty his most prominent emotion. What? Me talking to her? Another wolf? Finally?

He only looked at you again when you said his name, your apology sincere as was your admission that you needed sleep. Of course she does. And I do too. I need to go home. You didn’t let him get up, though, and at the implication, he froze. There’s no way she wants me to stay. There’s only one bed.

You did, though, your touch shifting from a hand in place to the sweep of your thumb he’d started to grow used to while you watched TV together on the couch. Frankie finally let himself truly relax when you stood, holding out a hand. You held out a hand but instead of taking it, Frankie got up and reached for you with his good arm, urging you to lean in.

It was a risk - but one that he was willing to take, and when you immediately moved to hug him as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, Frankie’s eyes closed tightly, his fingers curling against the back of your head. There’s no way it’s this simple. But I’m going to enjoy this anyway,

It was him that broke the silence, and to his relief, you laughed, the sound echoing in his ears as he led you back toward your bedroom. It was only a few steps, but it felt like more, Frankie’s heart still pounding as he waited for the other shoe to drop when you finally realized that you didn’t want him to stay.

It never happened.

The interaction between you felt natural as you got ready for bed, and under any other circumstances, your admission that you were too tired to appreciate him pantsless would have wounded his pride. That day, though, he didn’t let it, eyeing you as you changed, too, before climbing into bed with him.

The mattress was more comfortable than he remembered, and even though Frankie knew that it was mostly because he’d been up for more than 24 hours, he also knew that it was only such a relief because you were right there beside him.

He hadn’t lost you. He hadn’t frightened you away. He hadn’t let his emotions get the better of him, giving his anxiety over telling you the truth the opportunity to overwhelm the need to tell you everything. Everything about the wolf, anyway.

It was him that touched you first that time, Frankie opening his mouth and spilling more truths about how worried he’d been. Even though I don’t … I’m not sure I understand why. He thought you needed to know, and to his relief, you seemed to need him to know that you understood where he was coming from.

He wanted to kiss you deeply, but settled for a brief touch of his lips to yours instead before settling back against the pillows and taking a deep breath. Can’t press my luck too far.

He fell asleep moments later - and hoped that you weren’t far behind.

—-

When he woke up, it was to the sound of your rumbling stomach - but he didn’t mind, because it meant that you were still there.

Frankie was immediately thankful that you hadn’t left him to wake up on his own, but he was even more excited that you were still close; close enough that when he cracked his eyes open and made a joke, your return smile was the first thing he saw. I could get used to this.

Your offer to make him breakfast brought up the first of what he assumed would be many unpleasant conversations. But you took it in stride, even though there were nights when Frankie himself was disgusted with his own actions. Even though he’d tried to go full moon nights without consuming anything, the hunger gnawed at him after only a few hours, which made eating something necessary. And it’s either eat some rabbits or… risk something else.

That wasn’t even an option for him, and Frankie saw the understanding in your expression, followed by the comforting touch of your hand on his bare arm as you questioned him gently about the pain of changing from man to wolf and back.

He’d never tell you the truth about that - that the entire time, it felt like something was ripping his body apart from the inside - because there was no reason to tell you. You’d never experience it, and though the memory of the pain lingered, the moment he’d completely turned, it didn’t actually hurt anymore in either case. And I’m thankful for that.

The reminder that he’d be getting answers from Ashley tightened his throat, and once again, Frankie spoke on instinct, talking around the lump there and hoping that his admission that he wanted to kiss you didn’t cross lines. Because I don’t know what this looks like between us moving forward.

He didn’t have to worry though. You made a joke and then made the decision for both of you, and Frankie relaxed further when he felt your mouth against his. There was no hesitation on your part - no holding back because of what you knew to be true.

If anything, you kissed him more solidly than you had before, and Frankie only waited moments to invite you to deepen it. She’s crying. Why is … oh, fuck. The tears began on his end, too, Frankie unwilling to pull away until you ended things, and he leaned into your touch as you wiped the moisture from his skin, staring at him. Why am I crying?

It was the honesty aspect, like he told you. But it was also because it was you that he got to be honest with. It made no sense that he valued your response so much, and he didn’t know how to approach the topic, especially after such a short time of knowing each other. But he was crying because of you, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way. Especially because I get to know more about her, too.

He learned more about your life while you cooked, Frankie flipping through your pictures and journals with a growing sense of understanding. It wasn’t just that he got to know you through your work; you were thorough enough that he was able to learn more about wolves in general, too. That came from your relatives’ entries and updates, because since you’d never actually met a wolf, you didn’t have firsthand experience.

He wondered what you’d think when and if you were face to face with a wolf. More specifically, he wondered what you’d think if you ever saw him as a wolf - and as the minutes passed, he realized that he wanted you to. The guys had seen him out of necessity, but you … he wanted to show you, and that scared him more than anything else, because for three years, all he’d tried to do was hide.

As the two of you talked, Frankie felt things shifting again, the conversation between you never ebbing. You asked questions and so did he, Frankie finding that even though you didn’t know everything, you knew much more than he did - which was a relief in as many ways as it was concerning.

He knew that one conversation with your cousin’s fiancee wouldn’t answer everything. He knew that he’d probably die before he knew all of the most important things about being a wolf. But knowing where you came from, and hearing your family’s history was enlightening in a way that he hadn’t expected.

He understood the focus on the Chaos line. He understood why it was so important for you to feel like you were doing something to remove the wolves that were causing problems. And he was stunned that there was such a large community of people that knew of the existence of the wolves, especially since he and his friends hadn’t been able to find anything in the previous years.

Frankie wondered if you would have taken his admission that he was a wolf so easily if you hadn’t also just learned about Ashley and Alec, but decided it didn’t matter as the conversation continued. The why wasn’t as important as the overall reality of the situation, and he was just happy that you accepted him for what he was - and what he’d done in his personal life.

But when the conversation circled back around to the lies you’d told each other, it got a little uncomfortable. Because we were both lying for different reasons, but they were still lies. And we were so convincing that neither of us had any idea.

You were truly uncomfortable, though, when you explained what you’d done and why you’d done it, and he didn’t miss the fact that you’d said you were interested in him… even though that was immediately followed by you mentioning how casual it always had been in the past for you. Me too. Because it has to be. But this is … are we…

He didn’t know what to say, so he told you a half truth: that starting a casual sexual relationship with you had been the perfect plan…. in the beginning. It wasn’t supposed to be serious. It made sense.

There was no way he could have been angry at you for keeping your identity and the truth of your time in Florida from him, because it hadn’t all been lies. You were honestly working on the book, and even though the people you’d talked to and the places you’d been had been chosen for multiple reasons, you’d mostly told him the truth. Unlike me.

His admission that the police were getting suspicious was news to you. You weren’t able to hide your reaction to that, and he wondered how much that changed things for you. Because it changed ‘em for me.

As you spoke in the small kitchen, a plan began to form in his mind. Frankie wondered if maybe the two of you could work together to find the wolf - to get rid of him and give both of you some peace of mind. You knew different things - you had more information about the history of the attacks, and Frankie had firsthand experience of what it was like to be be a wolf, which meant that in only a few hours, you’d doubled your knowledge pool. I can help her. I want to help her.

The more he told you, the more the urge to help you grew.

And to help you, you needed to know exactly where he stood - and what he stood for. He’d made the others promise that if anyone ever got hurt because of him, that one of them would end his life by any means necessary, no questions asked. They hadn’t understood at first, because they’d all assumed that as the wolf, Frankie was no longer Frankie, which meant that he wasn’t responsible for his actions during the full moon. And that makes whatever this asshole’s doing so much worse, because he knows what he’s doing.

There were things he couldn’t control in his life, but even before South America, Frankie had been trying to take responsibility for the things he could, starting with Carmen and Becca and the cocaine. His monthly struggle was something else that he’d learned to control, and Frankie was determined not to let being a wolf change his entire lifestyle any more than it already had - or derail him in his recovery from everything else.

As he spoke to you, he felt himself tensing up again, his emotions heightening. It scared him sometimes, but since he’d never outright snapped, Frankie wasn’t too worried about losing it in front of you. And even though he could sense that you knew he was on edge, you didn’t move away. Instead, you came closer, reaching out and flattening your palm against the center of his chest, never looking away.

It was more than he’d ever hoped to find with someone again, and even if it was temporary, Frankie was thankful - and wanted to take advantage of every minute he got to spend with you.

But your knowledge of what he was and his of who you were brought up additional problems. I’ve gotta tell Pope. I’ve gotta tell him something.

He didn’t stop touching you, though his hand moved so that he could focus on your throat, his eyes dropping to the smooth skin there. It was the truth that he always tried to be careful when it came to teeth and biting, but with you, he’d immediately gone for your neck, testing his limits and nipping at it on more than one occasion, even though he wasn’t sure exactly what would have happened if he’d broken skin.

And something that he didn’t want to admit to you was that he wanted to continue to behave the way he already had been - wanted to nuzzle against the column of your throat, wanted to lave his tongue over your skin and lose himself in the scent and taste of you. It was hard enough to ignore on a normal day, but as the days passed and the full moon had gotten closer, his senses had been heightened, and it had been a true struggle to keep himself in check in the ways that he’d forced himself to in the past. And that means something too, but I don’t fucking know what.

He’d figured that some wolves could change at will, and there was no way Frankie was going to risk letting that happen while you were in bed with him. The confirmation that it could happen was enough to spook him slightly, especially when he thought back to his previous reactions to high-stress situations. Because if I hurt or scared her, I’d never forgive myself.

You said goodbye soon after that, and though he’d extended the invitation for you to come over later that night, he hadn’t been surprised when you’d said no. She needs time to process this shit. And so do I.

But neither of you had needed time or wanted space when the kiss you initiated before he walked out turned deeper. You’d pulled him closer as he crowded you up against the wall just to the left of your front door, his hands on your waist and your fingers tangled in his hair. You hadn’t wanted to let him go, and he’d been even less willing to walk out of your apartment. But eventually it happened, Frankie pressing his forehead against yours and telling you that he was excited for the following day - and you kissing the corner of his mouth and telling him to be safe in the air.

He left you in a much better mood than he’d anticipated, and despite the fact that he’d only gotten a few hours of sleep, he was wide awake. Wide awake and … happy.

He took a scalding hot shower once he got home, spending nearly twenty minutes under the steady spray and letting it soothe the muscles of his shoulder. And during that shower, he thought - Frankie running over the information he’d learned from you throughout the previous hours as well as what it meant to him that he didn’t have to hide anything from you anymore.

“It’s fucking great.” He toweled off, pulling on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and then grabbing a beer before heading out and onto his back deck, phone in his other hand as he typed a message out to Pope.

If you wanna come over and have a beer I’m good.

He received a thumbs up a few minutes later, and when Frankie set his phone down on the table in front of him, he dropped down onto one of the chairs with a sigh, leaning back and putting his feet up on the railing. For the next fifteen minutes, he spaced out, eyes on the slowly darkening sky and the passing clouds.

The sound of Pope’s tires on the driveway brought him back to attention, but Frankie didn’t stand, waiting until Pope rounded the corner of the house to even turn his head. “Oye, idiota.” He raised his beer, giving his friend a half smile. “More of these inside. You know where to go.”

Pope’s posture loosened and Frankie realized that he’d likely expected something very different than what he’d found. But the surprise only lasted a few seconds, Pope holding up a six pack and grinning. “Brought my own. You always drink that shit I don’t like, so…”

Pope took a seat next to Frankie and propped his feet up too. But neither man spoke, the two of them sipping in silence. Where do I even start? He took another drink and then cleared his throat, saying Pope’s name. “It was her cousin that got attacked.”

“What?” He sat up straight, spinning to face Frankie. “I thought she was just here to work. What are the fucking odds?”

“I thought the same thing.” He sat up, too, finishing his beer and setting the bottle down onto the table between them. “But it’s…” Frankie shook his head slowly, lifting one hand to run his fingers through his hair. “You can’t tell anyone, Santiago. I don’t even know if I’m supposed to be telling you this, but …” Pope’s eyes narrowed briefly but he nodded, scooting closer. “She’s not here by accident. She’s here … looking for werewolves.”

“What the fuck?” Pope looked angry, his lip curling into a snarl. “And she knew? She knew that you …. So -”

“No.” Frankie held up a hand. “Pope, she had no idea. She’s here looking for the other one. And when I couldn’t get ahold of her this morning it was because she was at the hospital with her cousin and his fiancee.” He was still breathing hard, but Pope relaxed slightly, leaning back in his chair and staring. “I was at her place when she got back, and …”

He continued, telling Pope about walking into your apartment and seeing all of your research, about you holding him at gunpoint, about everything that came after. And to his credit, Santi stayed quiet and listened, the only sign of acknowledgement the tightening of his fingers around his bottle.

It was a lot to take in, and Frankie understood that, because even as he repeated it, it sounded unbelievable. And I’m living it. I just … “So you mean to fuckin’ tell me…” Pope sighed, finishing his beer and then reaching for another one. He took a long swig before pointing one finger at Frankie and raising an eyebrow. “You mean to fucking tell me that this girl that you’re crazy about didn’t even need to be convinced that you’re a goddamn wolf? That she came here lookin’ for another wolf and found you instead, and the two of you just so happened to like each other, and -”

“Yes.” He swallowed hard, nodding. “She knows what I am, Pope. She believed me. She even told me a bunch of shit about myself that I didn’t know, and …”

“How does it feel?” Pope repositioned himself in his chair, all traces of amusement gone. “After so many years, ‘Fish, how does it -”

“Feels like I won the goddamn lottery.” He spoke without thinking, closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath. “Just being able to be honest? To tell her about that part of me? Fuck, it felt … I never thought I’d get to tell someone. And she just … she accepted me, Santiago.”

“I’m happy for you.” Pope reached over, squeezing his arm and then letting go, sitting back against the cushion. “Real happy. But …” Of course. “But what does this mean, ‘Fish? She’s gonna keep trying to find this wolf, and then what? Kill it? Move on? Take your secret with her?” He laughed, shaking his head back and forth. “You’re halfway in love with this woman, and she’s just going to … disappear?”

“I… no.” He blinked slowly, jaw working as he tried to figure out what to say. “I don’t know. I can’t leave Florida because of Carmen, but …” For the first time, he seriously considered what the future could look like - and whether or not there was a chance you would be a part of it. And as he thought, Pope’s last words finally hit - was he halfway in love with you? Had it really progressed from casual sex and mutual attraction to that on his part? Could that be it? “It makes sense.” He wet his lips and then covered his face with both hands, swearing. “Fuck, Pope. I don’t…”

“I’m not the person you need to have this conversation with.” He sipped again, scoffing. “But I’d just like to point out that you went from tellin’ me that she wasn’t your girl twelve hours ago to having me over to tell me that you told her your biggest secret, which is something you haven’t told the mother of your child in three years.” Pope held up a hand. “Which I totally understand, by the way. I’m not giving you shit over that, I’m just saying. You were with Becca for years, and …”

“I wanna protect her, Pope. The thought of her out there with something like me… something worse than me? Scares the fuck out of me.” He sat up, repositioning himself in the chair. “I don’t know how to explain what I feel for her. And I don’t understand how it’s possible I feel whatever the fuck this is after knowing her for -”

“When I met Yova,” Pope sighed, rubbing at his forehead. “I lied to myself for months. Said it was just sex. That it was just for information. That it wouldn’t mean a goddamn thing when I eventually left Colombia and came home. Never told her my real name or where I came from or anything even though there were times I wanted to.” Pope scooted closer, his eyes on Frankie’s face. “I loved that girl from pretty much the fucking second I laid eyes on her, and droppin’ her off and telling her to go to Australia and forget about me broke my heart.”

“But -”

“I knew she loved me. Why else would she have done what she did?” He set his beer down and flattened his hands against the tabletop. “When you know, you know. Don’t do what I did. Because you and I both know that if you don’t say anything, and you just let this play out… and she does leave?” Pope tapped one fingertip against the wood. “You’re gonna convince yourself not to go after her. And if that happens? You’re going to be miserable.”

“But what if … she’s got a plan. This is what she’s done since she turned 18, and it’s what she’s going to keep doing, especially with her cousin retiring. She’s not going to stop just because some guy she barely knows tells her that he wants…” Pope paused long enough to slide a beer toward Frankie, waiting to continue until he’d opened it and taken a long drink. What do I want?

“She might not. But you don’t know that. And you can’t know that unless you say something.” Pope was right, and Frankie knew it, but somehow, telling you what he felt for you was more terrifying than telling you that he was a wolf. “I wouldn’t tell anyone about her, ‘Fish.”

“What? But Benny -”

“No. I don’t mean hiding the fact that she knows what happened to you. That’s going to come out no matter what happens if you keep hanging out with her around us. I mean telling the other guys what she’s doing here.” Why? “That comes out, the bigger this gets. I’d even keep the fact that it was her cousin that got attacked to yourselves for now.” He sighed. “Especially since there’s another wolf hanging around, and the more people that know …”

“I got you.” Frankie nodded, a chill running through his body at the thought of the other wolf somehow finding out who you were and what you were doing. Because he has to be local. And that might mean he’s … here. “I’ll talk to her about that next time I see her.”

“Tomorrow.” Pope grinned. “When you get to go to your werewolf orientation.”

“Oh, fuck you, Pope.” He groaned, but only moments later both of them were laughing, the tightness in Frankie’s chest almost entirely gone. “She’s never seen a wolf before.”

“Do you want her to see you?” He rolled his shoulders, turning his head toward Frankie. “I’ve seen you change, and that shit is unpleasant. But … you’re kind of impressive in wolf form, Morales. I won’t lie.”

“If she wants to.” And I hope she does, because then…. I’ll really know. As a man, Frankie was good at reading body language and emotion, but as a wolf, it was impossible to get anything by him. If you were afraid of him, he’d know, no matter what you tried to convince him of. “But she’d need to ask. I won’t bring it up.”

“Fair.” Pope groaned. “So she knows about the money? What did she say about that?”

“Nothing.” He hummed. “Well, that’s not true. She said she didn’t realize money was so heavy, but she didn’t ask what my cut was, or anything like that.” He figured it was because you were too shocked by everything else to focus on that detail, but he wasn’t surprised that Pope had mentioned it. Because it’s a valid question. “She’s not like that, Pope. She’s been buggin’ me about figuring out what she owes me for her flights, so -”

“I never said she was. I was just curious to know what she thought about her multi-millionaire werewolf boyfriend and his asshole friends.”

“You can ask her yourself.” Frankie drank again, lips closing around the neck of the bottle. “And I’m not her boyfriend.”

“Ok, fine. Fuck buddy. Hook up. Booty call. Her gran lobo malo. Whatever you are, it -”

“If you call me that one more time I’m going to make sure biting you is the first thing I do next month.” Pope snorted back a laugh and moments later, Frankie joined him, the sound carrying away on the warm night breeze. “Thank you for coming, Pope.”

“Of course.” He tilted his head to the side and looked over, meeting Frankie’s eyes. “You know all you gotta do is ask.” Frankie nodded, swallowing the last of his second beer and then putting the bottle down. “You flyin’ tomorrow?”

“I am. Can’t take another day off. I have three tours, and then we’re going to talk to her family.”

“You know what you’re going to ask?”

“Not a goddamn clue.” He had some ideas, but it all depended on what the first meeting felt like. Don’t want to get my hopes up too high. “I’ll figure it out.”

“You always do, ‘Fish.” Pope laughed again, the sound turning into a groan. “Every goddamn time.”

—

Oye, idiota = hey, asshole

gran lobo malo = big bad wolf

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Tag list reblog coming soon

#liminality #Frankie POV #frankie morales x f!reader #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales fic #frankie morales x reader #triple frontier fic #I love this story so much #please let this Frankie know that I am a dog person #something tofightfor #fic rec fic rec fic rec!!

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