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opbackgrounds · 1 day ago

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The Romanticism of One Piece VI: Nature and the Sublime

AO3 Part I Part V

“Then my heart with pleasure fills And dances with the daffodils”

—William Wordsworth

Anyone making even a cursory reading of the Romantics, particularly the English Romantic poets, will soon find an obsession with nature. Even in the early 1800s, the scars of the Industrial Revolution were starting to be felt in the environment. Increased urbanization, a technological boom, and the capitalistic glut for increased output which in turn demanded the consummation of increased natural resources was destroying old orders one after the other in order to make room for the coming modern age.

The advent of trains, steamboats, and the telegraph changed the way people traveled and communicated forever. The allure of the city drove people from the countryside to work long, dangerous hours in factories. It seemed like the traditional way of things was being lost, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Poets and artists looked back fondly on the simplicity of their youths, and went in search of the beautiful and the sublime.

When reading these poems and looking at these pieces of art, you’ll also find that solitude was an important aspect of this search, the ability to get away from the neverending wheel of the rat race to be alone with one’s thoughts. Quoting from Walden, Thoreau said it best, “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” There was so much about modern society and civilization that rang false to these men, and it was only when communing with the primordial forces of nature that these falsities could be stripped away to reveal something pure and true.

One Piece is a manga that delights in its environments. Oda has clearly done his research while lovingly rendering each location, particularly once the series hits the Grand Line. I’ve always been amazed about how even minor islands with little page time feel fully realized, and how even similar environments can be easily distinguished from one another at a glance. The jungle of Little Garden looks nothing like the jungle of Skypiea, which in turn is completely distinct from Green Bit.

Similarly, Robin’s desire to preserve and protect ancient relics of the past is something the Romantics would have approved of, and with Luffy at the helm, the Straw Hat Pirates don’t just travel the wonders of the Grand Line, but embrace each and every island they come across, no matter what insanity lies in wait. While it’s not a central focus of the series, arcs like Wano and Egghead explore environmental themes and the dangers of pursuing technological advance at the cost of careful ethics.

Poet William Wordsworth famously fought against building a railway through the Lake District of England, where he lived and wrote much of his best-regarded work, so much so that he wrote a sonnet voicing his displeasure with the proposed project, as well as the thought of hundreds of unappreciative tourists destroying the peace and beauty of the area.

So while nature was to be appreciated, it was to be appreciated in the right way. It wasn’t enough to take in the sights for the sight’s sake, but an experience to be savored. Nature was an essential part of these writers and artist’s creative muses, and while many Romantics weren’t orthodox in their religion, there was a spiritual aspect in their veneration of the created world, particularly in their search for the sublime.

One Piece and the Sublime

“I have felt a presence that disturbs me with the joy of elevated thoughts; a sense of sublime, of something far more deeply interfused, whose dwelling is the light of setting sun, and the round ocean, and the living air, and the blue sky, and in the mind of man” —William Wordsworth

While the concept of the sublime existed long before the Romantic period, it was the Romantics who really took the idea and ran with it. It must be said that the sublime as talked about here is quite different from how the word is typically thought of in the modern day. The sublime’s roots are found in philosophy, as a sub-branch of the study of aesthetics. In his essay A Philosophical Enquiry into the Ideas of the Sublime and the Beautiful, late Enlightenment/early Romantic writer Edmund Burke for the first time divided the ideas of the sublime and the beautiful into two distinct and separate categories. This essay was hugely influential to the Romantic movement going forward, particularly in England.

According to Burke, “Whatever is fitted in any sort to excite the ideas of pain and danger, that is to say, whatever is in any sort terrible, or is conversant about terrible objects, or operates in a manner analogous to terror, is a source of the sublime; that is, it is productive of the strongest emotion which the mind is capable of feeling.”

So, in short, the sublime is a powerful emotion. The most powerful emotion a person is capable of feeling. In typical English fashion, Burke thought the strongest negative emotions were more powerful than the strongest positive emotions, so it stood to reason that the sublime must in turn come from the negative. While this might initially read as a rather unpleasant experience, the sublime was something actively sought out by the Romantics, and according to Burke was a pain that caused delight.

Attempting to define something as ineffable as the sublime is like trying to define love. No matter how many lines a poet inks or how many portraits an artist completes attempting to capture the feeling of lightning striking the soul, they will always be incomplete. It’s the feeling of going out to an open prairie and being crushed by the weight of the sky, or walking in the shadow of a mountain and feeling your own smallness. It’s looking up at the bright night sky and recognizing that you are one amongst billions, a speck of cosmic dust drifting aimlessly on an insignificant planet in the corner of an insignificant galaxy in a universe whose vastness you can’t begin to comprehend.

It’s the finite’s attempt at grasping the infinite, a complete breakdown of the rigid walls of the Enlightenment thinkers, the embrace of irrationality and emotion over cold, calculated reason. To use one of Burke’s own examples, it's the peasant kneeling before the dread majesty of their king. For some it was a way to commune with God. For others it replaced God altogether.

Take for example a painting like The Monk by the Sea by Caspar David Friedrich. The titular monk is tiny compared to the broad vastness of the sky and ocean, which seems about to swallow him whole. Whether the figure in the painting is contemplating the divine, or whether the sublimity of the moment is itself divine is open to interpretation, and like many figures in Friedrich’s works, the monk is turned away from the viewer so his face, his identity, is not visible, because who any individual person is when compared to this overwhelming force is insignificant.

While terror was important to Burke in searching out the sublime, it was equally important that there be a layer of distance between the perceived danger and the subject searching for it. After all, the sublime was something to be contemplated just much as it was experienced. A sailor caught in a storm is just fighting for their life. There’s no ability to allow themselves to reflect on the nature of eternity on a mortal soul when they’re trying not to drown. But a person contemplating a painting of a ship caught in a storm, or better yet watching a stormy sea from a high cliff, has that element of terror without actually placing a person in immediate danger. That distance allows the person to be subsumed in the moment, in the feeling, of the sublime.

As a manga, there is a natural distance between the reader and what goes on in One Piece. The wild, cartoonish, fantasy further separates it from the real world. This gap is perhaps too great for some to find the sublime within its pages. At the same time, it ticks many of Burke’s boxes: the vastness of its world, the displays of power from the characters within, the call to imagination, awe, wonder, and, yes, terror. While I very much doubt Oda had the idea of the sublime in mind when he came up with the idea with Conqueror’s Haki, overwhelming power causing the weak-willed to faint while foaming at the mouth very much fits the vibe Burke was going for in his essay.

If given a choice in the matter, Luffy will always take the more dangerous path forward. While he’s not nearly contemplative enough for the traditional Romantic mindset, the narrative rewards his desire to seek out experiences and adventure. The series’ focus on emotional truth over realism invokes powerful feelings in the reader. The wonder of the White White Sea is all the stronger because of the danger of the Knock-Up Stream. The descent to Fishman Island is made all the more grand by the fragility of the bubble that protects the crew. The vast majority of the East Blue Saga is spent hyping up the danger of the Grand Line, and wouldn’t you know it, the Straw Hats barely sail into its waters for five minutes and there’s already a dozen things trying to kill them.

Even places like Water 7, which the Romantic’s push against urbanization would not have seen as sublime, is elevated by the whimsy of the sea train and the danger of Agua Laguna. Oda takes inspiration from all over the world and elevates those inspirations into something greater than reality, injecting so much high fantasy creativity and verve into every location that the reader cannot help but be moved. And nowhere can this be better seen by how Oda portrays the sea.

To quote Burke one last time, “A level plain of a vast extent on land, is certainly no mean idea; the prospect of such a plain may be as extensive as a prospect of the ocean; but can it ever fill the mind with anything so great as the ocean itself? This is owing to several causes; but it is owing to none more than this, that the ocean is an object of no small terror.”

#opbackgrounds #one piece #romanticism #the romanticism of one piece

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shiny-jr · 2 days ago

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Hey Shiny! You might have already talked about this in another post, but do you have any plans after Damnation? I love your work and am sorry about all the craziness that has been going on with your work.

Hello, anon. I have actually answered this! But I'm sure it's easy to miss because it's a reblog, so I don't mind answering again. The current plan after Damnation will be the genshin x twst AU I posted about a while back. Formerly called Outlander, I changed the AU name to Empyrean.

It's something I have wanted to try my hand at for a while now, and as mentioned in previous posts, this project will be a lot bigger. I mean a lot bigger. Currently I'm envisioning 100 pages per dorm, but that number will probably grow as the further the story progresses, the more characters and issues will take place. I don't know if I can actually pull it off successfully, but I do want to try. Keep in mind, changes can be made to my plan.

Also keep in mind that I started the Damnation series like December 2022, and it's almost 2025 and I'm still working on the final pages of it. We'll just round it out and say Damnation took me roughly two years to complete, and it'll probably round out about 300 pages just for this series. So you can imagine how long Empyrean make take, if I even have the motivation to complete it, but I have been coming up with ideas for it.

Personally, I think I lowkey outdid myself when first writing for it, which I linked above. I see a lot of potential on it to explore different aspects of the characters, mention important topics, and also still have a lot of creative freedom. But it's still a big project, and it's honestly sort of intimidating looking at it now and imaging what could become of it and how much time and effort I'll have to pour into it. But I still want to try.

Last night I took a brief break from writing for Damnation, and actually jotted down some lore bits I thought would be interesting for Empyrean. There's a Savanaclaw lore bit floating around my page somewhere, but here's an Ignihyde one if anyone's interested:

#shiny speaks #damnation twst au #empyrean twst au

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kquil · 2 days ago

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hi pretty baby!! I have a very important question for you:

the year is coming to a close and it has brought us many great things (like your sweet sweet stories) and I'm simply dying to know.... if you were to do a 12 fics for 12 months sort of wrap up of your own blog, what would be your 12 most memorable fics of the year? which of your pieces really stood out to you? I'm eager to hear what my friends' proudest works are!

i'm a pretty baby? my stories are sweet? ( /)///(\✿) AHHHHHHHH!

and that's such a fun thing to do as a way of rounding off the year omg! this requires some thought though, so i hope you don't mind if i take a while to answer

these fics aren't in any particular order but would say that the following are my 12 most memorable fics this year... (i will also include fics from my side blogs as those are my works too hehe~)

DIVORCING ORION BLACK CHAPTER 5

this was the fic that i first posted when i came back from my hiatus so it holds a special place in my heart~

DIVORCING ORION BLACK CHAPTER 6

DIVORCING ORION BLACK CHAPTER 7

i'm including all updates for the DOB series because i honestly think it's my magnum opus and i managed to stay consistent with updates until the end of the year ever since coming back from my hiatus

JAMES POTTER | HOW TO DRESS (nsfw)

this is from my nsfw side blog ; it took me an entire year to write this oneshot for james and it's 16k words long, which makes it the longest fic i have ever written AND it's the first ever NSFW oneshot I've ever written and posted haha! so it represents a big milestone for me

SIRIUS BLACK | BIKER BOY

this was dedicated to one of my dearest moots and close friends here @somewereinthegalaxi / @thebestofoneshots and was a fun little way of showcasing an interest we both share motorbikes, biker boy boyfriends and sirius black (づ> v <)づ♡

REGULUS BACK | HOLD HER PART 2

i've always loved the trope of characters being given insight into their futures somewhat, in fact, a niche of fanfiction i adore reading is based on that e.g marauders watching/reading the harry potter movies/books or harry traveling back in time and interacting with the marauders -- this is my little way of finally dabbling in the trope without writing another fix-it fic atop DOB (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

REMUS LUPIN | ONE NEGRONI

this combined a guilty pleasure of mine, mob boss aus and the marauders, mainly featuring our beloved Remus Lupin -- it just seemed natural making him the mob boss (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵) hehe~

JAMES POTTER | GENUINE

i literally couldn't sleep until i wrote this and i'm so happy i did too because you darlings seemed to really enjoy it too! now i have a deep love for the actor james x singer reader trope (๑>◡<๑)

JAMES POTTER | LIKE LOVERS DO

this was sooo self-indulgent ( /)///(\✿) it's a manifestation of my love for james potter and the friends to lovers trope -- this fic is secretly how i want to my relationship with james to blossom in another universe where he's no longer fictional and i have a chance at making him mine!

JAMES POTTER | BOUDOIR PHOTOSHOOT

i've been seeing tiktoks of this on my fyp for a long time and i kept thinking of james every time i saw it, my real life responsibilities kept getting in the way of me writing it until i finally committed writing it even if it meant sleeping super late again (๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑)

GROUP EFFORT SERIES

this imagines series is from my mcu + misc. side blog and i predict having a lot of fun with it in the future ; i'm writing it from a random thought i had during my hiatus when i got into the mcu fandom, it went along the lines of: i wonder how the avengers would handle babysitting a baby like Jack-Jack from the Incredibles -- i slapped my love for single mother reader tropes on it and this imagines series was made!

THE PRINCESS' SEVEN MERCENARIES

after getting into the mcu fandom during my hiatus, i also fell in love with many of Chris Evans' characters and started reading fics about them too, combine that with my love for fairy tale aus, drawing inspiration from a writer with a phenomenal nsfw fairy tale series and you get this snow white au series with seven of my favourite Chris Evans characters (。>\\<)♡

damn... look at this list makes me realise how much i've written this year despite my hiatus -- i need to give myself more credit since half the time i feel like i'm not writing enough omg! thank you so much for prompting me to do this, my love!

#☁︎ : kquil talks #moot : elle ��#this took me longer to put together than i'd originally thought omg!#but it was so worth it!

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petalkitshadow · 1 day ago

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Talking about: Darkstar!

So, the most recent chapter revealed some important info about Darkstar's backstory, info that I've been sitting on for a while and have many thoughts about. Now that the chapter's been out for a few days I want to discuss it a bit, my thought process on the matter and such! warning: it's long, so i put it under a cut

TW FOR: non-graphic discussions of (fictional) sexual assault and recovery from it

(and of course, spoilers for the new chapter)

PkS has a few "key scenes" that were the first things I came up with when conceptualizing the story, and imagining how I would present it. One of these was, of course, the battle with mapleshade, but a second one that's now escaped from containment is this last chapter, Petalpaw discovering that Darkstar's son, Perchshine, was born from sexual assault. I imagine some may have already picked up on it, from how Darkstar behaved, and her specific discomfort with Reedshine's kitting. I was nervous about including it, for sure. It's a very heavy topic, and I want to do it justice, and offer Darkstar the nuance and humanity she deserves as a victim.

So why include it? it's a bit of a roundabout tale... when doing my early drafts, I was amidst a listen of Yellowfang's Secret audiobook. Lizardstripe's story really stuck out to me. Warrior cats has, a few times, made it so a she-cat gets pregnant by surprise. Occasionally, the she-cat might be dismayed about it. but in time, they all come to love being a mother. Lizardstripe doesn't follow that. She's the one cat in warriors who has kits and doesn't want them. Now, since it's a kid's book series, i don't think children reading it would question her situation much, and i think the authors were likely betting on this being the case. But reading it as an adult... it really gives some unsettling implications.

Lizardstripe's situation isn't delved into very deeply. It's mostly set dressing for how Brokenstar became so evil. but it really stuck with me, as a reader. Warriors is a world with no birth control. The idea that a cat could be stuck with a pregnancy against their will was just... so horrifying to me. legitimately something I've had nightmares about! though I understand it's a children's book series so the topic of pregnancy and how one gets pregnant is very much glossed over, i still felt unsettled, and a bit disappointed with how Lizardstripe was portrayed. She was a woman who didn't want kids, so obviously she's physically abusive, evil, ambitious, reprehensible, one of the worst people in the series. But all i could think was... Why did no one help her? There's a scene where she seems like she's making a cry for help to Hollyflower, and is ignored, her fears glossed over, and she is told "suck it up, you'll learn to love being a mother". and how did she even get into that situation? was she, too, a victim of assault? I doubt that was the author's intention, nor do I consider that my headcanon/interpretation for her, but is still a way you could interpret her. which just sat with me, and really made me feel icky. Petalkit's shadow (and all my warriors headcanons, writings, etc) is a lot about changing things I find unsatisfactory or frustrating about the books. so, I wanted to try and create some kind of response to Lizardstripe, while also writing through my own emotions and fears, to create a story i found compelling.

Thus, my idea for Darkstar was created. I wanted to approach this concept I saw in Lizardstripe, but from a more sympathetic angle. What would happen, how would a cat in this society feel, if they were made to go through something so horrible? Darkstar has been put in an awful situation... she really has no good choices. Her belief is that any kit in RiverClan is entitled to the safety and community they have to offer - we saw that when she allowed Petalkit to stay. Making an exception for her son, even if she was forced to bear him, would go against her principles. And sending him away, where would he go? To another clan? where he may have to unknowingly fight against his mother? To a stranger outside the clans, where Darkstar has no idea if he'll be safe? and Perchshine himself, is in a horrible position, too. Obviously, he would have questions about why his mother can't look at him, why she ignores him, why she refuses to spend time with him. But what is Darkstar to say? what is any cat to say? you can't really explain it to a child. So Perchshine had to live a life feeling unwanted, seeking attention from anybody who would give it to him, leading him to be so negatively influenced by Appledusk. meanwhile, Darkstar feels eating, aching guilt over something that isn't her fault.

She has every right to not want to be Perchshine's mother. she didn't want him. she was assaulted. he shouldn't be her responsibility. But again, she really has no good choices. That summarizes her character, i think. she is never given an easy solution. every choice she makes will always hurt somebody. she usually picks the option that will hurt herself. but When Appledusk's affair is revealed, she sends Mapleshade away. she's just a few months off an extremely traumatic experience. she confesses herself, she almost felt jealousy, that starclan would take mapleshade's kits instead of hers, when Mapleshade loved her own so fiercely. and she could see the tension between maple, reed, and apple. she knew if maple stayed, there would be more problems. problems she simply didn't have the emotional bandwith for. she put perchkit first by having him stay in the clan, even though he would be a reminder of what happened to her. she didn't step down or run away from her leadership. she continued supporting her clan and putting the others first. so I think, in that moment, she decided for once to put herself first. she sent mapleshade away. and she paid for it dearly, when she loses reedshine, her first apprentice, and one of her closest friends.

Darkstar's story up until now has been very tragic. But I don't want that to be all there is to her. The first side of this concept, of course, is "wow, this is really fucked up and depressing". but I want there to be another side to it. Darkstar endured this terrible thing, and has a lot of hurt inside of her. But in the end, she's still alive. She can heal, and she can move on. no matter what her life is still worth living, and she has cats who care about her and want to help her. I think this duality always makes a really compelling character for me. It's motivating, for me, to imagine that no matter how much you have suffered, no matter how terrible things seem, you can always keep going. (It's a sentiment I've had to remind myself many times in my life - sure, maybe giving up is easier. but your life is worth living, even when it's difficult) Alongside the cautionary tale about anger destroying you, this would probably be the other thesis of Petalkit's Shadow. Keep going, you will make it out alive. and one day, it won't hurt so much anymore. so as the story has reached this tipping point, I'm excited to move forward, and start showing this other side of Darkstar, where her recovery continues, and she is able to re-embrace the things and the people she loves!

Anyways, I've just had a lot of thoughts in my head, and wanted to finally be able to share them since the chapter got published. Thanks so much for reading everyone, i really appreciate it! <3

#talk #very very long under cut #darkstar

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thestraybunny · 19 hours ago

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I (do)n't need you Pt. 1

Pairing: Joshua Hongx AFAB!Reader WC: 8.7k Genre: Non-Idol AU, Exes to lovers Rating: M (18+, MDNI) Warnings: Angst, Eventual Smut, Drinking, Shit Communication, Fluff

Summary: Inspired by 2 minus 1 by Vernon and Joshua. It's been seven months since you and Joshua broke up, and you are still convincing yourselves that you don't need each other.

A/N: This is the first installment of my Seventeen K-Series, and my first fic where SVT is the main focus. This has also been posted on AO3. Hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think.

Th3.Litt1e.D0e made a new post.

Even though Joshua rolled his eyes when he looked down at his phone, no longer paying attention to the pretty little thing in front of him, he still opened the Instagram feed to see what you posted. Maybe this time, since there was a potential hook up in front of him, when he looked at your post it won’t mean anything. Maybe this time, he won’t want you like he used to.

Fat chance at that when he saw the photo of you with a new kitten, and a guy he had never seen before. While your focus was on the small black kitten in your arms while the guy was looking at you like you hung the moon. He used to looked at you like that at one point.

You really moved on already. He hated that this caused not only an uncomfortable burn in his chest, but his brain going to wondering what you were doing now. Probably with that guy.

“You in there?” The squeaky voice of the girl he had started to ignore for your post brought him back to reality and away from thoughts of you. She was a pretty one too. Silky long black hair that fell over her shoulders, soft make-up and without the harsh liner that you used to sport, and she was in a dress that made her look even more stunning. Her painted lips were pulled into a frown and Joshua had to move his phone from her view when she went to look at his screen.

“Yeah, fine. Just a text, but it’s not important right now. You are.” He was quick to lie, slipping his phone into his pocket as a flirtatious smirk graced his lips. Leaning back against the bar on his elbow, he turns his attention to the woman in front of him. With every intentions on taking her home with him.

To show he’s fine without you. And he doesn’t need you.

Th3.Litt1e.D0e added to their story.

Joshua was quick to flip his phone, now with the screen facing down, so Vernon could not see the notification. It took everything in him to not open it right then to look. Likely another photo of you and that guy. Or another annoying photo of the black kitten you named Felix. A kitten this guy likely got you, and Joshua knew you were flaunting it to show him you were okay without him, just like how he is okay without you.

He was okay without you. He didn’t need to throw himself into his music, work, or going out every weekend to find someone to get over you with. You didn’t take up his every waking thought anymore.

He also was terrible about lying to himself and those around him.

“Dude, just unfollow her and block her. She ain’t worth it.” Vernon spoke up and the older man had to look at his younger friend in surprise. He thought he turned his phone quick enough so he couldn’t see, but Vernon was quicker to notice. “She’s moved on and is with someone new. You’re just torturing yourself at this point.”

“I’m not torturing myself,” Joshua muttered, not making any motion to do what Vernon had suggested. Instead he just turned his attention to the guitar that was in his lap. “I told you, I am over her, but we agreed to stay friends. I mean, we were best friends before this.”

“That’s just something we say to make the breakup not hurt as much, but in reality, you just make it harder to move on. Besides when was the last time she messaged you or even liked one of your posts? Seems to me that you were the only one who is ‘staying friends’.” The younger man took a drink of his Americano before turning his attention to the pen and paper in front of him. “Or at least channel this into song writing, because we got to get this done. Hyung will have our heads if we don’t finish this. He wants to get this to the artists asap.”

Joshua bit his tongue from snapping at the younger man, but he knew Vernon was right. He only was making this harder, while you did the right thing by breaking contact. Instead of the talk helping, Joshua didn’t take the advice to unfollow and block you. No, instead, it made him wonder if you unfollowed him and really was doing the smart thing, which is move on.

But Joshua was still convinced that he didn’t feel anything for you. He didn’t need you, he didn’t need to think about you. He even ignored the ding that came through, knowing it was you making another post.

**eight months ago **

“Joshua, stop! I’m gonna pee myself!” you squealed as his hands tickled your sides, your hands playfully swatting him away. Your laughter mixed with his like music to his ears, the way the soft notes of your laugh were a melody of happiness. Happiness he brings out of you, and happiness that you brought out of him.

“Say you surrender.” He laughs, finding that one spot that made you near jump off the couch by surprise, but he was able to wrap his arms around your waist to pull you closer. You didn’t have to say it though as he stops tickling you to just look at you, his eyes not leaving your face as your arms snaked around his neck.

“I surrender…” You whisper still, and his lips pressed against yours in a soft kiss. He relished in the way you felt against him, before pulling away to look you deep in your eyes.

“I love you…” Joshua answered in a whisper, before his lips pressed against yours again; taking in the smell of your sweet perfume. Hoping that moments like this start overtaking the bad.

You hated yourself for thinking about him while Minjun was right across from you, talking animatedly about his day with his fingers lightly tracing circles into your palm. It tickled and you wanted to pull your hand away, but you had to stop yourself. Instead, you leaned your chin on the palm of your hand as you tried to keep up with his stories, none of which are registering since your thoughts were not on the sweet man before you.

No, they were on Hong Jisoo… Joshua. Wondering what he was doing, if he was okay, and if he found someone else. The last thought broke your already broken heart more, but you were a hypocrite if you wanted anything other than him to be happy with someone else. Especially when you were sitting across Minjun, someone you recently started seeing regularly. Your first attempt at a relationship after the breakup.

“What you think?” Minjun asks and you looked at him with confusion. Missing that whatever he was talking about included you, or he was trying to include you.

“Think about what?” You had to ask, feeling a little foolish that you didn’t listen to what he was saying, switching the hand he was tracing to hold his. You give him a sweet smile as you forced yourself to pay attention. “Sorry, baby, what were you saying.”

“You and your flighty mind.” Minjun teased, and you caught the way the smile was tight, telling you he was annoyed but was trying to not show it. Your mind was always somewhere else, well on someone else, and he’s dubbed it as you having a ‘flighty mind’. It was more backhanded than anything, but you chose to ignore it. “Would you like to go with me Saturday night for Seongjun-ah’s birthday? Meet my friends?”

“Oh,” You couldn’t keep the hesitation in your voice obvious, straightening your back as you looked at him. You two been seeing each other for the last two months, and he has already met your friends, but there was something about meeting his friends that made it more serious. Except, that’s the whole point in dating him, because you were serious about him. Meeting each other’s friends, and possibly family eventually, came with it. Forcing a huge smile on your face and was happy that he didn’t hear how forced your excitement was, “Of course, I would love to! I can’t wait to meet your friends. So, what time Saturday night?”

“Dinner is at eight, but we are all meeting for drinks at seven.” Minjun’s smile changed to one to match his own excitement and pulls your hand up to kiss the palm. Something that Joshua used to do. With the way he held your hand up, you had a perfect view of your smart watch, and the screen lit up. Showing a notification you should turn off.

Shu_acoustic made a post.

You weren’t supposed to still need him. You weren’t supposed to miss him. But you did.

**Seven months ago**

“What the fuck Josh?!” You yell, trying not to cry as another fight broke out between the two of you. This time it was over you breaking plans for work, a job with a debuting K-pop group that will keep you working for the next few months. Another makeup artists had to drop out due to a family emergency and would not be back for a while, so you jumped at this opportunity. “You said yourself that I shouldn’t decline these opportunities when they come to me. It’s been really hard for me to find work lately.”

“You’ve bailed on me several times over the last few weeks, and it’s always conveniently happening when we have plans.” Joshua shot back, his brows furrowed, and his lips turned downward into a frown. His hands were clenched at his sides before pushing one through his dark hair. “You spend more time at work or with Kami, and Ruby more than your own fucking boyfriend.”

“Rich for you to say. What about all those times when you’re stuck at the studio and don’t come home until late? Or when you choose to go hang out with your friends, or go get drunk with them instead of spending time with me?” Tears were now starting to fall as you felt your chest hurt and it only intensifies when he speaks again.

“Oh, so I can’t have friends now?” What the fuck?

“Of course, you can have fucking friends! You brought up my friends so why can’t I bring up yours?” You knew you shouldn’t be stooping to his level, but you were, and he looks away. “You are such a fucking hypocrite bringing up my friends like that when you chose yours over me constantly. There are nights I am home fucking alone while you are out with them. And not once do I hear from you either unless I literally spam text you, or one of the guys asking if you’re okay.”

“That’s not tru—”

“Twelves times out of thirteen, I get a message back from one of the guys and not you. I already know they don’t fucking like me anymore, thinking I am some clingy bitch who has to know your location at all times.” It has been a known secret for quite some time that his friends no longer liked you, you could tell by the way they would respond to your text or even talk to you when you were around them; especially Jeonghan, Joshua’s best friend. You didn’t know what you did, but it was right when you and Joshua started having problems. Where neither of you could go more than a day without arguing, and those days started to outweigh the good. “It’s like you don’t even like me anymore either…”

“Feelings fucking mutual.” His words sharp, and with that he took off out of your apartment and left you crying on the couch.

Hours later, you became a single woman when you thought he was calling to talk things out. Instead, he said that both of you being together wasn’t working and that you were better off as friends. You could only agree before ending the phone call… so he could go out with his friends while you cried yourself asleep.

Shu_acoustic added to their story.

Normally, you could avoid looking at his story, but something compelled you to open it this time. Figured instead of just ignoring the notification, you would just look since you are a masochist.

Your heart sinks.

It’s a photo of him from the previous night, surrounded by his large group of friends and his arm around a woman. He is laughing at something she said and their faces close together. They looked happy.

She was absolutely beautiful, petite, short brown hair, and looked like she could be a model even though she was wearing jeans and his hoodie. His hoodie.

You felt like your chest was going to cave in, and your throat restricted any of your breathing. Tears were hot in your eyes, and you had to chastise yourself for even looking in the first place. Closing out of his story before the next photo popped up, all you wanted was to throw up and scream how you’re such a hypocrite.

You posted Minjun several times over the last two months, and Joshua never unfollowed you after the breakup, so he had to of seen your posts with the other man. Did it bother him seeing Minjun in your photos? Then again, he was the one who broke up with you, so it was very likely he wasn’t. He didn’t actually care.

So, you shouldn’t either.

It shouldn’t have bothered you either when the moment you closed his story you were hit with a new post on his Instagram. It was the same setting as the story, this time they both were sitting back and his arm still over her shoulder, heads tilted together with a smile. It was one of several, but you didn’t look further.

The caption was simple. ‘Hoshi vomited in the bushes’. Normally this would make you snort and roll your eyes, but your eyes were on the comments. Two of them. One from Jeonghan and the other from an account that was tagged in the post.

Haniy00_n: ‘Oh, you are making it official official.’

You did cry when you read the comment from the tagged account. Not wanting to believe what you were reading.

Mix3djellyjam: ‘Right? Only took him nine months to come to his senses.’

You broke up seven months prior. And the fighting got worse around that time, as did Joshua spending less time with you. It all made sense.

You never hit the unfollow and block button faster. Scolding yourself for breaking down over him, especially when you had a new boyfriend, but you felt your heart break all over again.

“Why did you post that comment?” Joshua asked Jeonghan annoyed, looking down at his phone before back to his best friend. Yoon Jeonghan continued to scroll through his socials, and didn’t even look toward Joshua. “You are encouraging her, and I made it clear, I wasn’t wanting anything serious.”

“You don’t post the girl you’re fucking if not one of two things. One,” Jeonghan still didn’t look in Joshua’s direction, just lifted up a finger, “You are serious, and you are making your claim, or two,” He puts up two fingers as he finally looks toward him. “You are trying to show someone that her flaunting her new victim all over her socials isn’t bothering you cause you moved on.”

“You can stop being a dick about her now. And don’t call him a victim. He’s her boyfriend.”

“Same thing.” Jeonghan waved him off. “The point is, you wouldn’t have posted Yoojin if it wasn’t one of those two things. Or even both.”

“That’s not why I posted her.”

“Then why did you Josh?”

“Because…” Joshua couldn’t continue because he didn’t have an answer. Maybe a part of him wanted you to see it, to show you that he was doing okay, but that wasn’t the full reason he posted. Yoojin was not anyone special, just a friend who kept him company instead of random girls every week, so he wasn’t posting to make anything official.

“Because what?” Jeonghan leaned toward Joshua, waiting for a response but when he didn’t receive on he only tutted and sat back. “I’m waiting.”

“I don’t know…” Joshua muttered as he looked down his hand that was holding his phone, not noticing the notification that came in after Jeonghan’s, and this earned another tut. “Maybe a part of me wanted her to see it, maybe a part of me wanted her to know that I am okay too, but I know that I didn’t make anything official. Yoojin is a friend, and I was posting photos with friends.”

“You don’t post those kind of photos of just a friend.” Jeonghan answered, and he snorted when he saw Yoojin’s response. “Nine months huh?”

“What the fuck are you talking about nine months?” Joshua asked, looking at him confused.

“Only took him nine months to come to his senses.” Jeonghan read out loud and Joshua’s eyes widened as his jaw dropped. He opened his phone quickly to pull up the post. His best friend continued to laugh, and Joshua shook his head. “Didn’t you guys break up like seven months ago? If Yoojin was the real reason you wanted to break up with her then it took you a while to finally get to it. I take it you didn’t want her as a rebound?

Joshua only muttered that Jeonghan was an asshole and was quick to delete the entire post; every part of him hoped you didn’t see it. You hadn’t posted anything that day, so he wasn’t sure if you’ve even been on, but very much hoped. It was a mistake to post anything, and he could only hope that you didn’t see it. He didn’t know why he cared so much. You had moved on and was posting your boyfriend for the world to see, he shouldn’t care if you saw it, he shouldn’t be racked with guilt for posting something that was supposed to be fun pictures from a night out.

But he was. He regretted posting anything with Yoojin as he texted her telling her that he couldn’t see her if she was going to start problems with you and going to lie about how long they had been talking. He didn’t even give her a chance to respond and blocked her on everything.

It was too late though. You clearly seen the post, with your account no longer in his following list. Nor would it come up if he tried to search for you. You had blocked him.

Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe this is what he needed to show himself that he didn’t need you.

**six months ago**

You decided it was best to stop responding to his texts and keep a distance. They weren’t a lot of them, just a check in every few days, but after a month you couldn’t take it anymore. You were tired of acting like you were okay and not hurting. You hated lying to him even after he broke your heart, and here you were lying through your teeth with every response.

You played it off as a natural thing, you were busy with work, and after a week, his texts stop coming too.

When Minjun’s friend’s birthday came up, you played the part for Minjun, the smitten girlfriend that he couldn’t stop gushing over. You smiled and laughed at his and his friends jokes and did you best to look at him like he hung the moon. Maybe if you made it believable for everyone else, you can make it believable for yourself.

It didn’t work for you, but it seemed to have worked on everyone else. No one could tell you were hurting inside, no one could tell you didn’t want to be there, and more so they couldn’t tell that your thoughts were still filled with Joshua. You kept telling yourself you don’t need him, and that he was happy now with someone else.

And at least Minjun’s friends liked you.

After dinner, the group all decided on going to a bar or club to continue the night, but you were quick to decline. Not sure if you will be able to keep up the act if you started to drink more. Plus, the bar they would go to was where Joshua and his friends always went to on weekends, or whenever they could.

“I’ll go with you.” Minjun offered, holding onto your hand but you shook your head to decline.

“You go have fun with your friends. We aren’t far from my place anyways, so I can walk.” You tell him, giving him a quick peck on his lips. Funny how you told him to go do one of the things that you’ve fought with Joshua over, one of the things that led to your breakup. The difference is that you knew what you had with Minjun was not what you had with Joshua.

“Are you su…”

“Go. I’m getting a small headache anyways, and a walk will help clear my head.” You cut him off before pushing him in the direction of his friends, you give him a reassuring smile and give him a wave. “Text me later so I know you got home okay.”

“Sure thing, sweetie.” Then he was off with his friends, leaving you to watch him leave. A relief rushing over you because you can let down some of the guard, the smile falling from your face. Your jaw and cheeks hurt from forcing the smile, but it was a relief to no longer have to any longer.

The weather was starting to cool down, and this particular night there was a breeze to help keep you centered as you walked. It also helped keep your mind clear and any thoughts of Joshua started to slip away, giving you the briefest moment of freedom. Your heart still ached but for once your mind felt free.

If only you were so lucky it would stay that way.

You didn’t see him when you walked past, you were looking to the ground as you counted the cracks in the sidewalk. There was not many, these streets were well taken care of, so you ended up creating ones with your imagination. You may not have seen him, but he saw you.

So, when you heard your name being called, your heart stopped as did your whole body. You hadn’t heard that voice in so long, avoiding any videos where he was talking in them, and hid away all the videos with him in it. You sure as hell haven’t heard your name come from him in so long. It was clear as day, and right behind you.

You didn’t need to turn around. You didn’t need him.

But you did.

He wasn’t interested in going out that night, in the first time in months, he didn’t want to go out with his friends to take things off his mind. His heart wasn’t into it, he just wanted to vegetate on the couch and watch something. Aimlessly check his Instagram to see if you unblocked him, or even see if you responded to a message to talk. One that remained undelivered.

You didn’t want him to contact you, and he was going to have to respect that, but it doesn’t stop him from checking. Even though it was Jeonghan’s birthday, his best friend had given him the free pass to not go out. He was witnessed to how bad he had reacted over the whole post situation, making sure it was known that he thought Joshua was overreacting over this while thing.

It was Seokmin who had convinced him to go out, whining that he needed his hyung with him to take care of Soonyoung when he got too wasted. Joshua told him just ask Mingyu or Seungkwan, but the younger man was able to convince him. Mostly with the promise of buying him most of his drinks that night as well as his ride home.

He left his place late, after finally pulling himself together to get ready. He did only the minimal amount of effort too, his hair falling down in a messy style. When it came to clothes, he threw on a pair of brown sweats, a plain white t-shirt, and a tanned cardigan. He was planning to throw Soonyoung into a taxi the moment he could to send him home and go home to do what he wanted to do. Sulk.

When you walked past him, he thought he was seeing things, stopping in his tracks. Your head was down but he knew it was you. How could he not? You had a pull to him that he couldn’t get free of, and he was losing his mind more that he no longer had that one link to you. A small part of him told him to just keep walking, and that you blocked him for a reason, that he needed to respect your boundaries. But this might be his only chance to set things right.

Your name left his lips before he could stop himself, and the way you froze told him that you weren’t expecting to run into him. It was like time stopped, both of you standing not saying a word and for a moment Joshua was sure you were going to run from him. Instead, after what felt like the longest minute of his life, you turned to face him.

It was like someone doused him with cold water while simultaneously sending cannons of butterflies through his stomach. He wanted nothing more than to pull you into a hug after not seeing you for so long, but he wasn’t stupid enough to miss that you looked like you wanted to cry and wanted to get as far away from him as possible. But he had to try.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you out.” He spoke and all you did was stare at him. You were still as beautiful as ever, but your hair was in a new style and there was sadness to your eyes. When you didn’t answer, he continued. “It’s…It’s nice to see you.”

You still didn’t answer, but you also didn’t walk away.

“Are you walking home?” You nod, and he tried to offer a sincere smile, not wanting to hide his eagerness to maybe get a moment with you. “How about I walk you? Or maybe we can get some coffee? I really would like to talk to you.”

“Why?”

“It’s been a while, and I think you may have misunderstood some things. I want to clear the air.” He answers nervously, his mouth feeling dry as he waited for your response. All you could do was stand there though, the only thing you saying was when you asked why. “It’s about that girl in the photos.”

“It doesn’t matter, Joshua,” You tell him flatly, but he knew you were lying. Your face may remain stoic, but your eyes gave away everything. Like they normally did. “There is nothing to talk about. You’re just mad cause she gave you away.”

“I didn’t even know she was interested in me until a few weeks ago. I don’t know why she even said that to begin with. I promise you.” Joshua just blurted out, moving closer to you so that the conversation could not include everyone walking by. You just stood there staring at him like you didn’t believe a thing he said. “She had nothing to do with our breakup. So, please, can we talk?”

“Was that what you wanted to tell me?” You ask.

“Well, yeah, but…”

“Goodbye Joshua.” You turn to walk away, and he suddenly felt desperate to not let you go, his hand reaching for your wrist to stop you.

He shouldn’t be doing this, he should just let you go. It was over, and he needed to leave it well enough alone. He didn’t need you to not walk away.

**Two years ago**

“Move over,” You smacked his knee so he can give you room on the couch, and he almost looked offended. Then Joshua slapped his knee to indicate that it was your seat.

“You can sit right here,” He joked, not even trying to hide his obvious interest in you, and it was obvious you felt the same, but neither of you really made any moves toward each other besides harmless flirting.

“Move Josh,” You tell him again, feeling your skin hot from his flirting. He sighed and acted like he was going to move but instead he grabbed your wrist to pull you into his lap. Not thinking through how hard you’d drop down, letting out a small groan before recuperating to snake his arm around your waist. Keeping you there. “You idiot! Are you okay?”

“Maybe should have adjusted myself before doing this, but I’m okay,” He answers honestly, and you rolled your eyes. “See comfortable.”

You stopped wiggling for a moment when you realized how close you two were, your eyes dropping down to his soft plump lips briefly. Flicking your eyes back up to his, you had a look that hoped he didn’t notice the way you were looking at him. But he had.

The two of you had been friends since you moved to Seoul, meeting each other through Jeonghan (of all people) after joining the same music company they both worked for. You as a makeup artist for idols and the two men were songwriters and guide singers. He was someone you could speak English with, even though you were fluent in Korean, and a foreigner like you.

You both bonded over love of music, anime, movies, and so much more. Quickly becoming close, with him always seeking you out when he could, but you found yourself doing the same. It wasn’t long until you both were spending time with each other outside of work, and he quickly became your best friend. You let your guards down with each other, telling each other secrets that no one else knew, and you never felt closer to anyone the way you did with him.

At first it was obvious to everyone but you that your friendship was something more, and it took the help of his friends, Mingyu and Wonwoo, for Joshua to realize he liked you more than a friend. It was you who took longer, even though you actually knew from the moment you met him that you liked him. You just didn’t want to ruin one of the few friendships you had in a foreign country.

“Can I kiss you?” You didn’t recognize this voice of his, breathless and husky, his own eyes watching you with intent. Your hands moved over his shoulders to snake around his neck. He was closer now, if either of you leaned in, you would be kissing. “Please.”

“If you do, I don’t think I will be able to stop,” You whisper back, and you could feel a smile spread across those beautiful lips. “I won’t ever want to stop.”

“Then let’s never stop.” It was enough for you to be the one to kiss him. And you were right.

You didn’t ever want to stop.

You didn’t know why you didn’t rip your hand away and told him to leave you alone, but you didn’t. Instead you stared down at the way his hand clasped so easily around your wrist, holding onto you like if he let go, you would disappear on him again. Feeling the desperation in his stare beat at you, you couldn’t look up, you were scared that you would break completely if you do.

“Please,” He said your name again, but nothing further than that, anything else he had to say lost in his throat. Joshua wasn’t wanting to let you walk away.

“I have a boyfriend…” The words leaving your lips didn’t feel right, it felt wrong, but it was true. Minjun was your boyfriend, you been dating him seriously enough for him to have that title. So, why did saying it to Joshua feel like acid on your tongue? Sounding more of a lie then the truth.

“Just let me walk you home.” This time you looked at him, those eyes you would stare at for hours filled with the same desperation in his hold on your wrist. You shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t have said yes either.

But you did.

And now you were walking beside him in silence, your arms wrapped around your waist, and he didn’t reach for you again. Respecting your space, but you could tell he wanted to say something, but every time you see him open his mouth from the corner of your eyes, he would close it a second later. There was a time that neither of you had to hold back with your words, talking freely about anything and everything, but here you were both not saying a word.

“Thank you,” It was you who spoke, causing him to look at you in surprise. It took you by surprise as well, stopping to look at him. “Thank you for walking me home, you obviously didn’t have to, but it’s appreciated none the less.”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything, I offered anyways. Plus, it’s been a while.” Joshua gave you a smile that still melted your heart and nearly brought tears to your eyes. You watched the way his eyes crinkled and squinted as the smile spread, the one that you missed being directed toward you. One that you used to get before you broke up.

You shouldn’t miss that smile anymore. But you did.

“I didn’t break up with you for anyone. I want to tell you that again, there wasn’t anyone else.” He continued to speak, and there was a tight ache in your chest when he says that. You weren’t sure if you were relieved to hear this, or if this just made it worse. “Yoojin was just an acquaintance that Seungkwan was trying to get at but got bored with. I never showed any interest in her until recently, and even then it wasn’t anything.”

“Why are you needing to justify?” You ask, and he looks at you wide eye and jaw slacked. Not expecting the question. “It’s been seven months. What does it matter now?”

“Because I know it bothered you,” With this statement, you had to look away, neither of you realized you had stopped walking again until then. “You blocked me after it was posted.”

“How did you know I saw her comment? Maybe I just forgot to do it before?” This made him laugh.

“You’re just made because she gave you away.” He repeated and you could only pull a face, you forgot you said that.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Josh. We both moved on.” You lied through your teeth, “Thank you for clearing things up, it was not needed but thank you. It’s good to know you aren’t a cheater. I’ll finish the way home by myself.” You didn’t know why you said the next thing, especially when hurt flashed across his eyes. “I would say it was nice to see you, but it wasn’t. Goodbye once more, Joshua.”

You were quick to turn and walk away.

“You can’t lie to me.” He said suddenly and you stopped again. “You always been terrible at lying to me, and it seems like it hasn’t changed.”

“Yeah, well, you always been good at lying to me.” You retort, knowing it wasn’t the least bit true, and before he could say anything more, you took off down the street to your apartment. Ignoring the feeling in your chest.

You’re over him. You’re doing good without him.

You’re the liar.

Th3.Litt1e.D0e started following you.

Joshua nearly dropped his phone when those words appeared, sitting up from his couch as he swiped on the notification to go to Instagram. He had to see if he saw that right, and that his drunk eyes were not playing tricks on him.

He ended up going and meeting the guys at the bar after you stormed off, just like he promised Seokmin, but there was a cloud over his mood nearly the entire time. Especially when he saw the guy in your photos on the other side with a group of his friends, all laughing and drinking heavily. It made him have a harder time concentrating on the conversations in front of him, and he even ended up being scolded by both Seungcheol and Mingyu for staring off into space.

Only he wasn’t, he was watching your boyfriend, watching as his eyes roamed over the girls that past like they were pieces of meat. He wanted to go up and say something but didn’t no matter how much it bothered him. He had to be reminded what you had said and that made him stop. That and Jihoon would not let him. The younger man was the only one who remained empathetic over everything but had to remind him that it wasn’t his business.

He was the only one Joshua told about running into you, and the shorter man listened carefully.

“She’s not your problem anymore,” He was reminded, “I know it’s fucked up sounding, but she’s not. That’s not your business. He’s also just looking, it’s not like he has his tongue down some other girl’s throat. Let it go, Hyung.”

Joshua left not long after that, not bothering to listen to the whines of the other’s. He was drunk, frustrated, and that ache in his chest was worse then it had been in months. It was like he broke his own heart over again.

He kept telling himself that he should have just kept walking, that he shouldn’t have stopped when he saw you. He should have let you walk away. He should just move on.

And he sure had hell shouldn’t get hope from just a stupid notification.

But he did.

**Nine months ago**

“It’s her again. Joshua will you fucking answer your girlfriend?” Seongcheol sighed, checking his phone., “Tell her you’ll call her in the morning or something.”

“She knows where I am at. She knows who I am with. I don’t get why she is even texting any of you.” Joshua sighed as Seongcheol went to answer you, and he could see the annoyance playing on the eldest of the groups face. Joshua didn’t care though, he just turned his attention back to Jeonghan, ignoring his phone for the fifth time. “I told her she doesn’t need to be messaging you guys.”

“If she has work and she’s waiting up for you, then I don’t blame her for checking in. Especially when you’re ignoring her.” Jeonghan pointed out before tossing another piece of BBQ into his mouth. “It is three in the morning, and she’s probably waiting up. Didn’t you say that you were going to her place after this?”

“Not if she keeps messaging you guys. She knows I’ll be there when I’ll be there.” Joshua shrugged, popping some meat in his mouth too as Seongcheol tossed a few more pieces of meat onto the grill between the three men. “It’s not like I don’t have the code to get in or anything. She doesn’t need to be waiting up.”

“You’re a dick.” Seongcheol told him as he sends his response to you. “What happened? We used to have to pry the phone from you or even get you to stay out longer with us. You used to want to rush home to her. Now, you just stay out until you can’t anymore.”

It wasn’t that he wanted to stay away from you, he wanted to so badly to go home to you. The fighting had gotten worse over the last few months, everything you both did upset the other, and it was hard for him to be around you. There was a time when you would be able to work out any argument, talk things through and be okay after. Now, all they did was turn into screaming matches until you have to get away from each other.

Sometimes he would leave and stay out so long that you would be blowing up his phone with worry, and it only would cause another fight. He didn’t know what to say to make things better when all he wanted to do was pull you into his arms. Hold you as he begged for forgiveness. That he never wants to lose you, and he hates fighting with you. He wanted to keep making you happy and wanted to stop hurting you with needless fighting. You don’t deserve how he’s been treating you.

You didn’t need to be treated like this. You needed to be treated like you deserved, not like this. And he was failing at it.

Lee Jihoon Calling.

That was not a name you were expecting to see when your phone lit up. You only kept a few numbers when Joshua broke up with you, Jihoon’s being one of the since you had worked with him on his solo music concept and had been on decent/professional terms. You’ve had to work with him once after the breakup and he was kind enough not to bring up Joshua or anything to do with him. It was never his business to begin with.

So him calling at nearly eleven at night was something that you weren’t expecting.

“Hello?” You answer, not even thinking that it could have been Joshua calling you with Jihoon’s phone.

“This is as strange for me as it is for you.” He says right off the bat, not even bothering with hello’s, and took the words right out of your mouth.

“I would say yes. Is there a reason you are calling?” You were confused by his call, but he hadn’t brought Joshua up before, so maybe there was another reason for him to be calling.

“I don’t have long. The guys think I am making a call to my girl and will come searching for me.” He started and you took a seat at your small kitchen table, “This isn’t my business, and if anyone asks, I am going to deny I ever called you, and this was a misdial, but Josh-Hyung left not too long ago.”

“He’s not coming over here is he?” You ask, with a hitch in your words, looking toward your front door. Not sure if you were hoping it was true or not.

“Nah, he went home. Good thing, he might’ve done something stupid right now.” There was a dry chuckle, one that had no humor to it. It sounded more like he was having to keep from getting mad. “I know he wasn’t the best of boyfriends toward the end but damn your taste has sure gone to shit.”

“I would expect a call like this from Jeonghan, or one of the other guys. Didn’t think you would be one to want to call to be a dick.” You couldn’t believe your ears and was starting to get offended by his comment; a fresh set of tears threatening to fall. “I knew the others didn’t like me, but I didn’t think you were one of them. It’s been seven months, why can’t it be left well enough alone?”

“Hey, none of us didn’t like you, we just didn’t like seeing our friend hurting. None of us are assholes enough to openly fuck with you or not like you. You didn’t give us a reason to.” Jihoon didn’t waver in his voice, staying calm despite your own tone changing.

“Then why are you calling me about my taste in men?”

“Because the guy you’re dating is a pretty damn good actor. Hyung may have gone out a lot, but never once did he ever look toward another girl when with you. Nor would he allow any of us to say what his friends were saying about you, nor did he ever agree or egg us on. Hell, he still won’t allow anyone to say anything negative about you.” Jihoon was not someone who got into other people’s business, and there was only two occurrences that you heard of him stepping in and you were never told what they were about. “Hyung isn’t the confrontational type, you know this, and he would not be able to be held back if he was here.”

“What was said?” You could tell he was hesitant to say anything. “You called me for a reason, so tell me.”

“I called you because I am tired of seeing Hyung be a shell of himself. He won’t admit he needs you still, and you are with some asshole who will let his friends call you an emotionalist fake.” He then told you what was said. They saw through the façade you tried to play off, that it was noticeable. They made cracks that the real you was likely as interesting as a wet blanket, that he was doing charity by giving you a chance, and that you’re as desperate as you are clueless. That he will have an easier time cheating on you then his last girlfriend. Jihoon didn’t sound too happy about what was said, and sounded bothered by them. “Hell, I almost had half a mind to say something, because I know perfectly well that none of that is true.”

“How do you know?”

“I may not know you very well, but I know enough. You were the best damn thing to happen to Hyung, and he wouldn’t still be heartbroken and regretting breaking up with you if you were. He wouldn’t be lying to himself and everyone around you if he wasn’t needing you like he does.” There was something to the younger man’s tone that dug into your chest.

Jihoon was not the type to lie, he was not the type to cause problems for the sake of being an asshole. Jihoon didn’t give away his friend’s business, even if you were part of that business, for the sake of gossip or drama. Jihoon was not the type to meddle into others’ relationships, nor does he try to fix one that was broken.

Joshua still needed you. You tried to tell yourself that you didn’t need him, but you did.

**Seven months ago**

Joshua regretted it the moment he hung up with you, and wanted to call you back to tell you he didn’t mean it. But he couldn’t. The damage was done. You were no longer his and he was at fault for it. He didn’t think it was going to hurt as much as it did.

“This hasn’t been working for a while, we fight more days then we don’t.” The words were like acid when they left his lips, not believing for a single moment that you guys weren’t working out. He could fix this if he tried hard enough, but instead he was the giving up. “I think we should breakup.”

“Oh.” You didn’t fight his words, you didn’t argue with him. Instead you sounded…broken, and Joshua knew he was making a mistake, but the words were already said and damage irreversible.

“I’d like to stay friends.” He couldn’t stop himself from digging the knife in deeper, looking down at Mingyu and Wonwoo’s coffee table, adjusting the phone from one ear to the other. He had four sets of eyes on him, and it was making him wish he could just get off the phone to jump out the window. “Despite us not working out as a couple, I still want you in my life.”

He could only hope that she didn’t hear the collective groan that rippled through the living room, fingers pushing nervously though his hair.

“I completely understand, and yeah, we can totally still be friends.” There was a crack in your voice but disguised it as a cough. “If that’s what you want.”

“Yeah…” He said, wanting to world to suck him up and a tear escaped down his face. “It is.”

It wasn’t what he wanted. It was the exact opposite of what he really wanted. He wanted this to work. He didn’t want anything else. You were it for him.

After your phone call with Jihoon, you could only sit there in your kitchen as you stared at the clock above your refrigerator. The call ended at exactly eleven o'five pm, and when you finally came back to reality from your thoughts, it was well after midnight. Blinking a few times, you found that your lashes were wet as were your cheeks, and your mouth felt dry.

Before you could really even process your next actions, you already had sent out a text to Minjun breaking up with him, letting him know that this wet blanket had friends who saved her from his bullshit. You then blocked him while unblocking Joshua at the same time, even though you should’ve leave him where he was. You did the same with Instagram and going to his page.

Then you hit the follow button. Letting him know he wasn’t blocked anymore.

You couldn’t keep pretending anymore. There was no pretending anymore.

Shu_acoustic started following you.

Shu_acoustic: Hey.

He didn’t even bother caring how eager he was, following you back or sending you a message. He didn’t care the reason you unblocked him. Just that you did, and that you answered back.

Th3.Litt1e.D0e: Hey Shu_acoustic: You unblocked me. Did you get home safe? Th3.Litt1e.D0e: Yeah I did. Th3.Litt1e.D0e: Are you home? Shu_acoustic: Yeah. I wasn’t having a good time, and Seokmin has ten others to help him with Soonyoung.

Joshua, without thinking, flipped to your Instagram page, to see that you had posted a few photos of your cat, but that was not what caught his eyes. It was that all photos with your new boyfriend were gone. He had to rub his eyes to make sure he had seen it right.

Where the hell did they go?? What happened in the few hour span from you walking away from him to this?

Th3.Litt1e.D0e: It’s Jeonghan’s birthday is it not? You always have a good time with him. Shu_acoustic: Not always. And it wasn’t him. Just had too much on my mind to enjoy myself. Shu_acoustic: Rather be home then bring down the mood. Th3.Litt1e.D0e: That sucks. I’m sorry. Shu_acoustic: What happened to the pictures with your boyfriend? Th3.Litt1e.D0e: I broke up with him.

He didn’t expect that response and wondered what happened. You never deleted the photos with him after you broke up. Even after blocking him.

Th3.Litt1e.D0e: I was wasting my time, and so was he. Th3.Litt1e.D0e: That and it turns out he’s a pretty damn good actor. Shu_acoustic: I’m sorry to hear that. Are you okay?

You didn’t respond, and Joshua did his best not to keep looking at his phone. Hoping that you would respond, but with what time it was, he was sure you must have fallen asleep. Instead of sitting around on his couch, he got up and started to get ready for bed. Washing his face, brushing his teeth, and changing from the clothes he was wearing to a pair of grey sweatpants and a black vest top.

Quickly flipping off his ceiling light, made his way over to his bed and plugged his phone into the charger on the nightstand. Dropping down onto the soft mattress, Joshua ran his hand over his face with a sigh, starting to feel tired. His head barely hit the pillow when he got another message.

Th3.Litt1e.D0e: You up?

Of course, he was up.

Shu_acoustic: Yeah, getting ready for bed. What’s up? Th3.Litt1e.D0e: Did you really want this? Did you really want to break up?

No, he didn’t. He thought he did before he actually did it, but he didn’t want this. He wanted to work through this. He knew you both could. He needed both to.

Shu_acoustic: I wish every day to take it back and have another chance. Shu_acoustic: Why? Th3.Litt1e.D0e: Is it to late to come over?

His heart was pounding in his ears as he sat up, reading your Instagram message over and over.

Shu_acoustic: It’s never too late for you to come over. Shu_acoustic: Honestly, I need you to come over.

He did. He couldn’t keep saying he didn’t need you. He needed you more than anything.

PT 2 and 3 are written and already posted on AO3. They will be posted here in the next day or two. Please let me know what you think, and I guess if you wanna be on a tag list. I am still figuring this all out again.

#joshua x reader #thestraybunnyfics #svt fanfic #joshua fic #hong jisoo x reader #joshua hong x reader #seventeen x reader

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dckweed · 13 hours ago

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ROSIE!, alpha!simon riley x omega reader

in which captain price sends alpha simon on a much needed vacation to his secluded countryside cabin, but leaves out a most important detail- he has a live in omega caretaker to care for his little cabin when he’s away! and she’s the prettiest, sweetest little thing that simon ever did see..

warnings: alpha/omega universe, mentions/depictions of abuse, smut, pregnancy, kind of forced proximity?, ill add as i go...please note that i know NOTHING about COD but i am in love with the 141 guys and this has been rotting in my brain. abuse is depicted in this one right off the bat,ptsd/nightmares, panty sniffing, face sitting, over stim, biting, squirting, i think our wolf just hates us okay? because everytime i write her, she comes out so mean.

please click this link! each click helps me earn some extra money, as well as each person that clicks the link and signs up (its completely free, and takes 0 time), a completely harmless way to earn some extra cash that doesn't involve giving me any of your own!

happy new years :) feel free to send thots/ideas to my inbox for these babes (or even for the other 141 fellas)

series masterlist here.

PART THREE: hurts si’

“You dumb bitch, look what you did!” Glass clattered and a hand made contact with your face, causing something to drop from your hands as they flew to your face for protection, a whimper leaving your puckered lips as sharp shards scatter about the ground and imbed in the skin of your legs, stinging. “Are you fuckin’ dropping shit now? Huh?” Another blow, this one landing on your ear, causing it to ring and your eyes to blur for a moment as you wobbled on the balls of your feet, swaying from side to side. The man yelling at you was larger than you, older. His breath was hot and sour as he screamed in your face, his words sounding a million miles away as you tried to focus. What had you done this time? It wasn’t you that had knocked over the glass of water..you weren’t even near that side of the table..it was all your brother, all the boy who sat and watched as your father threatened to beat you black and blue again for something that you didn’t do.

The ringing becomes too much, you fall to your knees and groan, head pounding and eyesight blurry, you barely notice the shards of whatever dish had fallen from your hands pushing further into the skin of your shins as you sink to the rough wood floor of the kitchen.

“...OFF THE FUCKING FLOOR, OMEGA!” He screamed, your hearing seeming to come back around, or maybe he just bellowed loud enough to overpower the ringing..you shook violently, fear and pain ringing through your body as he grabbed you by the hair on your scalp, dragging you across the ground, pushing the sharp bits of glass deeper into your skin..you would have to go digging to get them out now..

“No!NO! Papa, Papa please!” Your voice was frantic, shrill eyes wide as they finally focused enough to comprehend where he was pulling you off to, the familiar dingey wooden door of your own personal hell hole coming into sight. You’d only just been allowed out after..you couldn’t even remember how long..long enough that the days blurred together and you couldn’t tell how many tomorrows had come and passed. “No! I’ll be good, i’ll be good!” You clawed at his arm above you, trying desperately to pry his alpha strength off of your head, kicking your legs in an effort to slow him down, to buy yourself enough time to talk him out of it.

“There’s no such thing as a good Omega, you’re living proof!” He growls, throwing open the deadbolt to the door before swinging it open. The darkness awaiting you seemed thicker than usual. “You all deserve to be punished! To be hid, to be locked away and never looked at again! You deserve to be treated like the runts and vermin you fucking are! Your mother tricked me into thinking that she was sweet and innocent, that she needed me to protect her, to fill her with little alpha pups, and then she gave me you! And then you killed her when you breathed life and stole hers, and i saw you for what you are, nothing but a conniving, evil monster!” He held your hair tightly at the top of the stairs, forcing you to look up into his eyes as he ranted at you, for something that you didn’t even remember. Weren’t capable of remembering..

He raised you off of your feet and your eyes widened, a shrill plea leaving your chest “NO, NO! N-AHHGH!”

Simon lay in bed, hands balled into fists behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling, the moon dancing across it as it shined through his window, jaw clenched as he listened to you whimper and moan through the thin wall separating your room from his. His senses were on high alert, his wolf haywire in his mind. It took every ounce of self control he had not to jerk off to the smell of you, once he started he knows he probably wouldn’t ever stop, not until he’d had the real thing and not just the thought of you. He knew that his cock was probably going to be perpetually hard now, never going to go down until he’d stuffed the meaty length of it into your sweet smelling cunt, not until he’d fucked it good and stuffed it full of his pups would he even be able to think like a normal alpha again.

The smell of you was intoxicating. It flooded his senses and over powered his mind. You were sweet smelling, decadent he could even say. He had noted it before you’d been in heat but now that you were, even in just the beginning stages, it was more powerful, more endearing and mouth watering. It was enough to make a man forget how to behave. It was enough to drive an Alpha into delirium, to trigger his own rut.

He grit his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to think about anything other than you, shoving a knife into someone's chest, pizza and a cheap pint, johnny- no! Not that scottish prick! His wolf howled and he grunted, fisting his own hair just to feel something to keep himself grounded. Johnny wouldn’t shut his trap, his intrusive thoughts and his lack of a thought process allowing him to just blurt out how good you smelled, he could just hear his voice in his head, could hear him “Bet that lit’le cunt is nie’ n warm, wet ‘n sloppy, eh LT? Smells like a fookin’ dream..” He was just shooting up in bed with a growl at imaginary Johnny when your scream pierced his ears, his bedroom door slammed against the wall, ricocheting as he busted through yours after flying down the hallway, practically ripping it off of its hinges. He looked around wildly, looking for any sign of an intruder, ready to fight off some stray Alpha or Beta that might have followed your pheromones from town in hopes of mating and breeding you against your will in the middle of the night.

He saw nobody, saw nothing but you thrashing wildly in the middle of the king sized bed you had built your nest upon, spotting the hoodie he’d shrugged off of his body and laid in the middle of your spot while you took a hot bath earlier in the day, satisfied that he could leave you alone with something to scent to help calm you down. He had paid enough attention in Omega anatomy class to remember that that was something that you guys craved, and just the scent of a strong Alpha could help ease the pain wrought by your heat. You were in pain, he decided, that was why you had screamed as you had, there was nothing for him to protect you from, nothing for him to keep you safe from in your vulnerable state.

He had just wrestled his wolf back from the forefront of his mind and was slowly backing away from your bed and back towards the hallway when you let loose another scream, this one was one of pure terror. You were sat straight up in bed, his fight or flight triggered, he throws himself at you, wrapping his arms around you as he throws you back down, tucking you into his body as he looses a mean growl, baring his teeth as he looked all about, trying to find what you were so terrified of.

“No!NO!” You screamed, thrashing and bucking under him, your eyes squeezed shut. He looks down at you, wolf going crazy. “Help her! HELP HER YOU BIG DUMB OAF CAN’T YOU SEE SHE’S SCARED?!” His wolf whimpered, howled, only making Simon’s heart race more as he tried to form a coherent thought.

“Rosie..” He grunted, patting your face lightly, still clutching you to his body as best as he could, legs on either side of you as he hovered over you on the bed. “Rosie, lovie, wake up-wake up, lovie..” He patted your face, again, a little harder this time and your eyes finally fluttered, looking up at him.

“S’mon?” You whispered, hands clutching the chest of his tank top from where your arms were trapped between the both of your bodies, unable to move with his weight pressed against yours. “Had a bad dream..”

He sighs, head leaning down so his forehead is touching yours, noses brushing against each other. “I know, lovie, i know.” He says after a moment, shifting his body so that you’re laying on top of him, using his chest and shoulders as a pillow, legs entwined with his own. All thoughts of breeding you gone and out the window for now, his only thought and instinct to keep you safe. “Not goin’ anywhere okay? Gonna stay right

‘ere an’ keep you safe..”

And he did, letting you doze back off on top of him, his mind still reeling as he tried to imagine exactly what had happened in that head of yours to make you scream with such terror, to have you so scared that he could feel your body shaking. He wanted, no he needed to know so that he could make sure you were never scared of it again. So he could take it and obliterate it for ever making you feel anything but safe under the same roof as him.

Eventually, his wolf and his mind calmed down and he was able to lull himself into a light sleep of his own, his arms not moving from around you.

You wake to a warmth spread from your head to your toes, a dampness to your skin that had you wriggling out of your sleep shirt with eyes closed still, not registering the soft body beneath you until you went to plop your head back down and it didn’t sink into the soft down of your pillow, but the scraggly hairs of a muscular, wide chest that was poking out of the top of a gray tank top, the kind a man would wear under his tshirt if he wanted the extra layers, or sleep in, you supposed. You knew immediately that it was Simon and as if on cue your wolf fought her way to to the front of your mind, your aching cunt clenching around nothing but your sopping panties as you realized that your mound wasn’t too far from where his cock would be, your leg thrown over his waist, held there by one of his large, meaty hands gripping your equally meaty thigh.

“Look at him, our pretty Alpha..so handsome, so strong..” She wasn’t wrong, he was pretty. His skull mask was nowhere to be found, and to say it was strange to not see it adorned on his face would be an understatement, but it wasn’t unwelcomed. “Want to give him pretty little pups, let him fill us, please, please, please! I’ll be so good! I promise!” You groan, trying to shut her voice out, though it was hard to do. At this stage, your mind belonged to her, this was her time, and you had always let it be, but you hadn’t had an Alpha home during your heat in..awhile.

You let your eyes roam over his face for a while, failing to notice the way his breathing changes as he fully wakes up, aware of your gaze. He has such a strong jaw, a strong, handsome face, sweet looking even, you would say, despite the scars lingering along his pale skin. Your lips quiver at the realization that someone had probably put them there and that thought alone made you want to cry because how could anyone ever want to hurt this perfect specimen of an alpha? His nose is terribly crooked, as if it had been broken on more than one occasion..you would know, yours had been broken at least three times that you remembered. You wanted to sit on it. To feel his nose brush against your aching, throbbing clit, to feel his scruff of a beard that had grown over night against the apex of your thighs, leaving beard burn as he fucks you with his wet, strong tongue.

You don’t notice that your hips are bucking against the side of his hard stomach, don’t realize you’ve whimpered until his hand squeezes your thigh, fingers marking the skin from the way that he grips at it, brown eyes suddenly shot open and staring you down, full lips tugged into a wicked smirk.

“Easy there, babygirl..” He grunts, voice thick and raspy after not having used it for a bit.

You pout at his words, wolf whimpering. The desperate noise leaves your throat and you feel no shame as your hips buck again, needing the friction.

“Hurts Si’..” You whimper, not giving a damn to ask why he was in your bed in the first place. You remembered having a nightmare, remembered him vaguely waking you from it. You assume he had stayed to make sure you were okay. “Need you..need you to help me, Simon..please?”

He closes his own eyes at your words, fingers digging further into the fat of your thigh, as if he’s trying to control himself. You don’t want him to, you want hm to lose control, to use you in any way he saw fit, you wouldn’t fight him, would be as pliable for him as you could possibly be, you just wanted to breathe in his scent, suck his cock into your aching pussy for a bit..like a chew toy for the wolf taking over your mind.

You can’t help but to giggle for a second at the thought, you couldn’t help but to think that his cock was probably big enough to pose as a chew toy anyway, no way you could get your mouth all the way around it if he let suck it.

“Rosi-”

“Simonnn” You preen, pouting at him and you can just feel the resolve break. Oh! What a good Alpha, not making us beg! “Please help me..hurts..need you so bad..please!”

A growl bubbles in his chest and you could how in excitement knowing you’ve won, “Fine!” Knowing he’s about to bully his cock into your cunt until he’s had his fill, until you’re crying and begging him for more, until he’s knocked you up good with one of his little blonde pups- “But i’m not going to fuck you,” A whine as you pout and you watch his eyes widen, watch him fight with himself for a second as he shakes his head, as if shutting up that voice that you know he hears too. “No-don’t do that babygirl..You listen to me now.” The sternness in his voice catches your attention, your cunt pulsing at the way it radiates through you. “I want to fuck you so bad, lovie, want to sit you on my cock for fuckin’ hours, believe me, it’s all ‘ve been able to think about since I walked into that garden..but I can’t do it when you’re not all the way there, when you’re delirious in heat..” A pout that damn near breaks him, that definitely breaks the wolf in his head, howling ricocheting in his ears as he tries to talk. “I’m going to fuck you, lovie, but not until your heat is done, yeah? Don’t worry babygirl, m’still gonna help you though, know it hurts, baby, know you need my help..”

You hadn’t realized he had bunched the waistband of your panties in his hand until then, letting go of your thigh to pull at the seam of the fabric, ripping it apart and tugging it from your mound. You watch with wide eyes as he brings the soaked cotton to his crooked nose, closing his eyes as he takes a long sniff, a deep growl radiating through the room as he opens his eyes, staring straight into yours as his fist clenches around your panties.

“Cm’ere, babygirl.” He grunts, pulling at you so that you’re sitting directly on his chest, pussy leaving a wet swatch in his chest hairs as he squeezes both hips. “Wanna sit on my face, don’t you? Saw the way you were looking at me, know just what you were thinkin’ huh?” You nod your head, but make no move to actually do it. You’re so big? What if you suffocate him? Bitch shut the fuck up and let him eat your fucking pussy, you whiney brat! He’s a big boy, he can fucking take it! You had the random thought that your wolf might actually try and kill you if you didn’t let her enjoy this, if you didn’t swallow your self conscious thoughts and let this glorious man eat you for breakfast. “Aht-aht, stop thinking whatever it is you’re thinking-” He pulls your hips so you’re sitting just below his neck now, your hands immediately catching yourself on the headboard, preventing him from pulling you up past his chin. He narrows his eyes at you, you see him shake his head, the firm line his plus lips are set in. A warning to behave and let him be in control. “Don’t-you want this, don’t you..want me to help you? Need me to make it better?”

“Pleas-ungh” In a show of pure strength, he has you fully sat on his face before you can finish the word, warm, thick tongue devouring you as swirls it around your clit, you can’t help the rock of your hips or the way your head throws back as you moan when his tongue teases your aching whole, nose rubbing against your clit the way you imagined it when you tilted your hips.

He groans beneath you, hands splayed on your bare ass cheeks, holding you in place as he grips so hard you’re sure his fingerprints will be permanently indented into your skin, not that you think you’d really mind it. “That’s it lovie, ride my face..”

You didn’t have to be told twice now that you had started. The way his tongue worked you open, the way he held you in place but still let you rut your hips against his face, making a slimy, glistening mess..his stubble brushed against your inner thighs, keeping you grounded from coming on the spot, though it doesn’t last for long. He’s got you coming within moments, skilled tongue going between clit and your pulsing hole, giving you what you needed as you rocked back and forth, taking what you wanted. “Tha’s a good girl, lovie..give me one more?”

You’re not sure how many ‘one more’s’ you give him, but by the time he’s got you on the brink of over stimulation, he’s got his whole tongue buried in your hole, his teeth nibbling at your clit as you buck and tremble, tears brimming your eyes as you grip his hair in each hand, tugging harshly. His hands pushed up your shirt, exposing your soft, pudgy belly to him as he squeezed your tits in each of his large palms, fingers playing with your nipples as he fucks you with his mouth, cries and whimpers leaving your own.

“Si-oh-mm, please! I can-so good, feel’s so good!” You’re a babbling mess, cheeks red as your thighs shake, still clenched around his head. He’s been at it for almost an hour and you swear he’s barely come up from air, he’s barely let you move off of his face for more than a moment, his mouth leaving your cunt only to praise you or bite into meat of your thighs, leaving a harsh imprint of his mouth, a reminder that this is in fact real. You’re on the brink of another when you realize that this one feels different, feels almost painful, even. “Si-mo-n, si-ugh-umf..hur-urts…” You screech out, swatting at the top of his head, he only grunts, pulling you down farther onto his mouth, his hands going back to grip your tighs, leaving your precious tits unattended as he does, holding you there as he brings another harsh bite to your clit, sending you over the edge. “Simon!” You shout, vision going blurry as something snaps in your lower belly, a gush of fluid coming from your cunt that has your cheeks heating as Simon groans out below you, lapping it up as quickly as it comes out, slurping even as he continues to make out with your pussy as you slouch against the headboard, being sure to avoid your overly sensitive clit as he does, leaving open mouthed kisses to your mound that honestly could have had you coming again if you weren’t entirely fucked out just from his mouth. How many was that? Five? Six?

“You okay up there babygirl?” His voice is thick and raspy, sexy as he peeks up at you from between your still shaking legs. All you can do is nod meekly, unsure of what to say, mind oddly quiet as you pant out breaths, trying to come down from such an epic high. “Squirted al’over me lovie, legs are still shakin’” He’s chuckling at you, big warm hands rubbing your thighs in an effort to soothe the shaking.

“M’sleepy, si’” You whimper out, still sagged against the headboard, mind gone numb, legs gone soft, heat and wolf satiated for the time being.

“Yeah?” He asks, voice soft as he sits up slowly, sliding you down his body. Your clit catches on his chest hairs and the fabric of his now soaked tank top on the way down and your hips jumps, your whimper ringing out as he shushes you, rubbing soothing circles on your lower back. “Need’ta nap baby?”

Your eyes are already closing before you can get the words out, before you can even nod your head, you barely register the way his lips kiss the side of your head as he leans back with you in his arms, the way his scent floods your senses, easing you into an easy slumber, as if that had been his plan all along. The last thing you remember before sleep takes you completely is wondering what the hell you had gotten yourself into with him..

taglist: @wise-owl @bingoz @astrxsee @gazsluckyhat @howlerwolfmax @thisbitch-6 @littlelovebug98 @ungodlydilf @madsothree

#kara writes #cod #simon riley #alpha simon riley #simon ghost riley smut #simon riley smut #alpha simon riley smut #task force 141 #tf141 #alpha cod #john soap mactavish

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