#this reminds me of when i was way young and went to michaels with my mom

[infinite8revisions]

The Pimp and the Slaver: A Character Comparison and Analysis.

TL:DR - "I think it was a smart and rather aware decision to make AMC's Louis a pimp."

I remember when I first heard that AMC cast a black actor for their "Interview With The Vampire" adaptation. I thought to myself, "how will they reconcile that Louis was the owner of a plantation that profited from slave labor now that the character is black?" While some may argue it wasn't a major plot point or characteristic, you can not argue that it's where Louis spent the majority of his mortal life and the infancy of his vampiric one.

Pictured Above: Okay Alley Plantation where some of the 1994 Interview With The Vampire movie was filmed.

Due to the stereotypes surrounding it, some people may have issues with the word pimp. I would like to give a reminder that, In an occupational context, the word pimp has been used for hundreds of years to refer to:

"A person (especially a man) that controls sex workers, arranges clients for them, and takes a cut of their earnings."

Now, because this is the internet, I feel the need to make it clear that I do NOT think a Pimp is equivalent to a Slaver (though they overlap in many ways). I AM saying that both character's fortunes were made through the exploitation of black bodies.

From here on out I'm going to differentiate between book/movie Louis and series adaptation Louis by calling the former "Book Louis" and the latter "AMC Louis".

Honestly, I should separate book and movie Louis too. I noticed they tried to clean him up a bit in the movie by having him "free" the slaves.

I use the word "free" extremely loosely because he didn't so much free them as he pulled a Michael Scott.

Above: stills from "The Office", and a clip from Interview With The Vampire (1994).

Louis! You cant just say they're free and expect anyone to honor it! There's paperwork to fill out! I mean, what white authority figure is going to roll up to a plantation fire and believe a group of slaves that say "yeh, our master was the devil! He set the house (and probably himself) on fire! oh...and right before, he said we were free!"

The book was far more realistic about this, there Lestat and Louis kill a good amount of them and the ones that weren't killed became runaways or fled to nearby plantations.

"Meantime, Lestat was after the slaves. He would leave such ruin and death behind him no one could make a story of that night at Pointe du Lac, and I went with him. Always before, his ferocity was mysterious, but now I bared my fangs on the humans who fled from me. my steady advance overcoming their clumsy, pathetic speed as the veil of death descended, or the veil of madness. The power and the proof of the vampire was incontestable, so that the slaves scattered in all directions. And it was I who ran back up the steps to put the torch to Pointe du Lac." "Some fifty-five slaves were scattered around the grounds. Many of them would not have desired the life of a runaway and would most certainly go right to Freniere or south to the Bel Jardin plantation down river." -Interview With The Vampire- Part 1

Pictured Above: A Voodoo doll of Lestat: Interview With The Vampire (1994)

Sometimes I think people forget, (or overlook) just how evil Lestat was portrayed in Louis' interview. Not only did he kill the young Freniere and prostitutes, he was said to regularly feed from and killed slaves.

Pictured Above: The deaths of slaves caused by Lestat circa Interview With The Vampire (1994).

"I assure you. That Lestat hunted for mortals every night, I knew. But had he been savage and ugly to my family, my guests, and my slaves, I couldn’t have endured it." "You must understand, Lestat knew this perfectly. Both of us had hunted the Freniere plantation, Lestat for slaves and chicken thieves and me for animals.” -Interview With The Vampire - Part I

When Lestat addresses Louis' interview. He never mentions the enslaved people of Point du Lac, but he does say the following.

"But this is the tale that was told by Louis in Interview with the Vampire, which for all its contradictions and terrible misunderstandings manages to capture the atmosphere in which Claudia and Louis and I came together and stayed together for sixty-five years."

"When he says I played with innocent strangers, befriending them and then killing them, how was he to know that I hunted almost exclusively among the gamblers, the thieves, and the killers, being more faithful to my unspoken vow to kill the evildoer than even I had hoped I would be? (The young Freniere, for example, a planter whom Louis romanticizes hopelessly in his text, was in fact a wanton killer and a cheater at cards on the verge of signing over his family's plantation for debt when I struck him down. The whores I feasted upon in front of Louis once, to spite him, had drugged and robbed many a seaman who was never seen alive again.) But little things like this don't really matter. He told the tale as he believed it." -The Vampire Lestat: Epilogue Interview With The Vampire

To me, this means "the slaves I killed deserved it and the ones that didn't...well, no one is perfect!" Which is understandable and pretty on brand for Lestat.

Above: Tom Cruise as Lestat: Interview With The Vampires (1994)

Going back to Louis telling "the tale as he believed it", I honestly think his "monster of a memory", dramatizations, and misremembering's are just Anne's attempt to redeem Lestat. When originally writing IWTV, Lestat was going to (officially) die in the fire that engulfed him before Louis and Claudia leave America. She ended up writing him back into the story and falling in love with his character, turning him into the brat prince we all know and love. It makes me think that that in order to mold Lestat into who she wanted him to be, rather than the villain she originally wrote, she threw Louis under the bus. That's just an opinion tho!

On to AMC Louis.

I think it was a smart and rather aware decision to make AMC Louis a pimp. Both AMC and Book Louis profit from the mistreatment of others. This consistency allows some the ignorance, hypocrisy, and irony of the book character to remain even though there was a change in race and there for his social status and privilege. During Lestat's recounting, he describes many aspects of Louis' personality. At one point he says the following:

"He was, after all, a discriminating and inhibited child of the middle class, aspiring as all the colonial planters did to be a genuine aristocrat though he had never met one..." -The Vampire Lestat: Epilogue Interview With The Vampire

This statement rings true for both Book Louis and AMC Louis despite their different cultural, racial, and generational backgrounds. Due to their occupations as a "planter" and pimp respectively, there is an innate ironic undertone that comes from listening to someone express their melancholy, depression, and self suffering knowing their lifestyle was build of the backs of broken bodies.

Side Note: I think of this line from "Hamilton" whenever Book Louis is referred as a "planter".

On that note, I feel there was (some) redemption for Louis as a character in season 1 of AMC's IWTV. This came in the form of his confession and the awareness of what he had done. At no point in the book does Louis reflect on any of the pain, hurt, or exploitation of the people who served Pointe du Lac. Louis (both in book and film) is known for many things, but taking accountability has never been one of them!

Armand doing a spot on impression of Louis. (AMC's IWTV S2)

However, in (what I believe to be) the best scene in S1, Louis takes accountability! It's one of the (many) reasons I tend like AMC Louis over Book Louis. He isn't just a shell of a person, a bystander. He's appears deeper and more complex. This Monologue has so many contextual, cultural, and religious conversation pieces within it. It was masterfully written and performed.

"Bless me father for I have sinned. Grievously, sinned. I'm a drunk Lord, I'm a liar, I am a thief, Lord. I profit off the misery of other men, and I do it easy. Drugs, liquor, women. I loiter men and grab what they got. I take daughters with no homes and I put them out on the streets, Lord. And I lie to myself saying that I'm giving them roof, and food, and dollar bills in their pocket, but I look in the mirror and I know what I am. The big man in the big house stuffing cotton in my ears so I can't hear their cries. And Lord, I dragged my family into this mess with me. I shame my father. I failed my brother. I lost my mother and sister, and rather than fix it like a man should, Lord, I run, like a coward. I run to the bottle. I run to the grift. I run to bad beds...."

In this next comparison, contrary to the last, I believe AMC Louis actions were more deplorable than Book Louis. In both telling's, Louis empire comes crashing down in a fiery blaze. In the book, those enslaved at Point du Lac being to rise against Lestat and Louis, sensing that they are inhuman. Louis suggests they leave before a full revolt breaks out but Lestat refuses while throwing hella insults at Louis...

"You whining coward of a vampire who prowls the night killing alley cats and rats and staring for hours at candles as if they were people and standing in the rain like a zombie until your clothes are drenched and you smell like old wardrobe trunks in attics and have the look of a baffled idiot at the zoo." -Lestat, Interview With The Vampire: Part I

I mean, what he said was true, but jeeez Lestat, tell 'em how you really feel why don't you!

Things come to a head resulting in the massacre and fire at Pointe du Lac. In this telling, Louis attempted to flee before things became bloody and out of control. Once shit hit the fan, he more or less gives up.

"because I had had enough of Pointe du Lac and Lestat and all this identity of Pointe du Lac’s prosperous master. I would torch the house, and turn to the wealth I’d held under many names, safe for just such a moment." Interview With The Vampire: Part 1

I give him credit here because it was never Louis' intention to cause harm or destruction. In this case (according to Louis anyway) it was Lestat's carelessness and stubbornness that lead to murmurings of a revolt and the deaths that followed. Yes, I'm defending Book Louis a little because he at least had awareness of how bad things could be and attempted to subvert it. AMC Louis on the other hand? He poured gas on the fire.

Pointe du Lac in flames: Interview With The Vampire (1994)

The fall of AMC Louis' empire was a hard watch for me. It's was incredibly frustrating because (as a black man) he should know better. He knows that his actions affect the black population around him. At that time (and still) minorities are seen as a monolith. When one fails, we ALL take the blame. You still see this regularly in the media. When a member of the majority commits an atrocity It is a reflection on that person (and maybe their family). But when a minority does the same, its all of them. It's causes a mass reinforcement of harmful stereotypes that hurts everyone in the community. In the worst cases it causes cities to burn and innocent lives to be lost.

Pictured above: Louis attacking Alderman Fenwick. AMC IWTV Season 1 Episode 3

Now, when I make posts like this, I often go back and rewatch things objectively to see if I still feel how I feel. And I do. In fact, Lestat and I feel the same.

Pictured Above: Stills from IWTV Season 1 Episode 3.

Right!? It's 1922! People were being lynched and burned for FAR less than murder. Quoting Lestat again:

Pictured Above: Stills from IWTV Season 1 Episode 3.

This was purely insecurity and selfishness. This was Louis feeling slighted and wanting his get back. Even if he had killed Fenwick and left it at that, I could let it go...MAYBE. But to display the body like that with the "White's Only" sign? He knew what would happen, he may not have been consciously thinking about it, but he can't feign naivety. This was self destruction, much like Book Louis setting fire to Pointe du Lac (and not even much different than Armand's self destructiveness). And, just like in the book, the black souls around him were collateral. While he was able to cut his losses, those he subjugated were left to die and suffer.

Above: A dead Alderman Fenwick.

Note: I am not discounting what happened to Louis. He was swindled, and understand his pent up frustrations, I do. It just doesn't justify his actions for me. At the end of the day this was over money and power. I'm gonna quote Lestat one more time:

Lestat: We don't need the money. Louis: It's not about that. You think I'm gon' let that snake bite me and my people? Lestat: You have your investments on the Claiborne Avenue. Louis: What, hats? Little grocery stores? Nickels, dimes, quarters. Lestat: So, it is about the money.

In conclusion, I LOVE drawing comparisons between the book and series. It shows how you can change a story on a variety of levels, while keeping the integrity of the characters and plot. Brava to the writers and cast. You give me so much to think and write about!

[flagbridge]

I Saw the Phantom Proshot at the NYPL

Happy 36th birthday to Phantom's first preview on Broadway! I was going to save this post for the actual 36th, but I figure all of us need some more Phantom Broadway "original" content since the official Insta accounts are reminding us today that Phantom is no longer (though it should be) on Broadway. I'm going to post about what I saw, and I'll follow up on January 26 with all my answers!

Some time ago, @or-what-you-will and I went to the NYPL's Theater on Film and Tape Archive, and viewed the archival pro shot of the Original Broadway Cast of Phantom of the Opera, filmed live on May 25, 1988. There is only one copy, and its purpose is artistic preservation (not commercial distribution--the library owns it). It was kept under lock and key during the show's run. All information about how to access the archive is on the website. I can't really tell you anything more besides what's out there because it will become identifying. You get set up in a room with monitors and can pause and rewind, although you can't touch the media.

This was not my first TOFT proshot, but it was the best-filmed. Some, there's a single camera just parked, or there's some generation loss because of when the tape was transferred to digital. This had absolutely vivid colors, a multi-camera shot, and brilliant and clear soundboard audio. I heard lyrics I have never heard (especially during Notes when everyone is singing over one another), the sound balancing was so good. It was as transformative as seeing it live.

These are all the notes we took while there (apologize if they can seem disjointed) More below the cut.

ACT 1 NOTES: 

-Multicam shot

-amazing audio (soundboard), vivid colors

-Raoul/Barton is crying in his voice during the auction

-there’s a “voice” that sounds like a woman singing with the overture (maybe a theramin?) We jumped in shock at this. We've never heard this before, not even on soundboard.

-Sarah Brightman comes on stage during the Hannibal rehearsal, moving across the stage with Meg during “Rome not Roma”--so she dances in the front row during the Hannibal ballet

-Hannibal ballet then has 10 dancers and since Christine is in the whole thing, there is slightly different choreo

-there’s a synth under Meg’s “he’s there, the phantom of the opera” 

-Firmin lights a cigarette and Andre (Future Phantom Cris Groenendaal) stops him right before “Think of Me’ which makes the “Defense de Fumer” on the back of the curtain make even more sense

-Think of Me Gala skirt is not as full (but of note, Carlotta’s Elissa costume is much more ornate than we have now or even at the end of Broadway)

-Raoul sings slightly different notes in Think of Me. Steve Barton goes down a few notes on “young and innocent” (it’s not belted) and is clearly wistful. 

-The think of me cadenza is absolutely effortless

-The “Bravi, Bravi” is haunting and perfectly sound balanced!

-Meg can actually sing and the Angel of Music harmonies work

-Raoul (Steve Barton) is nervous before going into the dressing room. He taps his fingers on the banister and takes a deep breath before going in

-He’s also nervous inside the dressing room–you can see him going from seeing an old friend to suddenly having feelings, being attracted to her. When he’s standing behind her he has a slight moment when he nearly touches a lock of her hair. 

-Raoul is wearing a ring on his right hand (signet?)

-Steve Barton says MY Little Lotte

-Christine (Brightman) is excited about meeting the Angel of music and has a wanting and longing in “Enter at LAST master” (in a way that Lily Kerhoas does now and we haven’t had many Christines who do this) 

-The picture is VERY CLEAR and NO WASHOUT when we see Michael Crawford appear in the mirror for Phantom’s entrance. You see everything

-When the door opens for Raoul to the dressing room after they go through the mirror, it opens slowly (vs banging open). It’s the same tempo that Phantom moves to take Christine through the mirror

-1925 Phantom silhouette vibes at the first “sing for me” 

-Not a particularly aggressive cape twirl, but def a twirl. 

-They get VERY close on “turn your face away”, almost kiss (like, Russians, Panaro/Joseph close) 

- he has a nice portcullis sprawl but she does not press against him, there is visible space between them the entire time

-”Caress” and “hear it, feel it” are explicitly seductive, the former in how it’s sung, the latter because he self-caresses on “feel it”

-the “Touch me” in touch me/trust me is half sung/half spoken order, she strokes her hand over the mask and he does not pull away

-He does have a little panic when she faints and he covers her with the cloak. He’s holding her hair when he sings to her there

-At the unmasking, MC holds for a brief moment before covering his face with his hand so the audience gets a peek of the deformity (before “damn you”) 

-Vixen not viper

-Crawls on knees, not stomach. We get…lots of crying and whimpering 

-Christine sees his face a lot during this sequence. MC lowers his hand as soon as he’s on her side of the stage from “secretly dreams of beauty” to “Oh Christine”, when he turns away–but she is looking at him the entire time. MC is angled right by a mirror shard so we can see a bit of the deformity reflected back

-Right before “come we must return”, MC is about to cup her face with both his hands before changing his mind–she starts to reach for him as well. 

-His Mandarin robe is much longer than we have now (ankle length vs calf length) 

-This Giry has witch vibes

-Steve Barton is playing eager puppy Raoul and it shows even though he looks older (Barton was 35 at the time)

-The sound balancing is so good that you can hear lines you don’t normally hear during Notes 1 and Prima Donna–including the Managers thinking that Christine has just been off with Raoul all night. 

-Sarah Brightman does a different pose on the bed as the pageboy during Il Muto. She crosses her legs vs putting her hands on her hips. 

-Firmin yells “the role of Christine Daae” to the proscenium, clearly directed at Phantom

-Barton Raoul’s “There is no Phantom of the Opera” comes off more as “Christine this is just some dude” vs “he doesn’t exist at all.” 

-Raoul loves Christine so much. He strokes her hair gently to comfort her right before “No more talk of darkness”--his eyes are soft and he’s genuinely caring and concerned (vs trying to be a hero) 

-”All I ask is for one love one lifetime”--different lyrics, she does it twice (This is on soundboards from the time)

-Raoul puts his face to Christine’s hands at the proposal. 

-Christine is clearly kissing his cheek right next to his mouth during the kiss (the final lair kiss is a real kiss) 

-Christine’s “I must go” is not as playful as we often see it later. She really is trying to go. 

-Raoul is nervous at “Christine, I love you”--he lowers his head for a moment worried that he said something wrong. He’s excited when she replies “order your fine horses”

-AIAOY Reprise: Michael Crawford is partially slumped over the angel, he’s holding hands with it to the audience’s right, and arm is slumped over on the left. We get a lot of anguished weeping, and little distressed moans as Christine and Raoul sing, there is rocking and head shaking and then covering his ears. It’s a HUGE difference then when he stands up fully for “You will curse” (he does this again during final lair between “unfeeling scrap of clothing” and “pity comes too late) 

-He also roars before standing

-The Phantom laugh/cackle continues well into the chandelier drop into intermission at the light cut out for about 15 seconds. 

Act II

-Carlotta masquerade costume has no mesh in the skirt–it’s much more of a see-through skeleton crinoline, so the feature is the purple tights

-Not surprising since Sarah Brightman is a dancer, but Christine does the proper choreography during Masquerade--she's the center of attention. Barton also does quite a bit of dancing.

-There’s an organ (almost like a circus organ) underlying the finale during masquerade

-Red Death double doesn’t run down the stairs, he stays at the top

-Giry/Raoul exchange after masquerade–both holding the lantern and super closeup

-Reyer is clearly gay–coded. Some voice and hand gestures during Sitzprobe

-Wishing–only one “help me say goodbye” (when did the second one get added?)

-”Far-reaching” gaze, Wandering Child is a duet

-Piangi says “conquest” is assured (at some point, this became “congress”)

-Michael Crawford imitates Piangi until “past the point…”

-Sarah as Christine is listening intently to Phantom’s voice and immediately noticed something is off–she doesn’t figure it out right away but she notices something. She is suspicious the entire time. It's not clear when she knows for certain.

-Christine never flees from him, during the first caresses, he hovers over her body, she turns to kiss him, he turns away, her hand lingers on her back, before she gets up to sing her solo part away from the table

-Michael Crawford’s hands are in in his crotch when Christine’s singing on the other side of the stage (“you have come here”)--he’s moving his palms in his lap the whole time, his hands are shaking, we only get glimpses of him, most of this part it’s focused on her

-There is none of the arm waving circling while their hands are held, she takes his hands, he switches his grip to hold one of hers, and they keep them on him

-She figures it out when she reaches down–she’s holding his hands above him and she pushes her left (our right) hand down and he pulls and she notices something–we can only see to his upper waist but her hand disappears and her expression changes, it’s implied he has an erection

-she doesn’t ever feel the mask, either accidentally or on purpose

-She doesn’t actually ever try to escape. It’s not the current West End or the past blocking–but more accurate in that she is aware of the situation and plays along. She keeps going with the blocking

-they both get up and keep singing, neither drags the other to the centre, they move together and keep singing 

-The last “return”--he sings it at the unhooding, she doesn’t

-”Say you’ll share with me”--he is really pleading and almost crying on “say you want me” 

-The managers don’t come out to try to usher her offstage, she doesn’t signal to them to stay

-When Phantom gives her the ring, she takes it, but doesn’t put it on–she just holds it

-He doesn’t scream at the unmasking, he just looks shocked and sad

-Ratcatcher order is different–it’s after Raoul and Giry’s first lines, that’s the indication that Giry needs to turn around, Giry screams

-Phantom is crying at “flesh” and through “unfeeling scrap of clothing”, he’s also hunched over through this sequence, and then stands to his full height at “Pity comes too late.”

-Phantom makes a big show of raising the portcullis, hands fully raised

-Raoul swats at Erik with one hand (the other is still on the noose) when Phantom grabs Christine on “start a new life” 

-Phantom is probably the “minimum” amount of rough as we see Phantoms be with Christine in this sequence, as in, he’s definitely scary and menacing but he’s not harming her. He does grab her and spin her around on “start a new life with me.” There are a few wrist grabs (which is book accurate). He’s realizing more that his plan is absolutely crumbling. We get some shots of him on the organ looking panicked.

-Phantom makes a low growling noise before “you try my patience”, which is delivered quickly and almost casually. It is not menacing as some later Phantoms do. 

-”Pitiful creature”..MC’s hand is subtly shaking by his side

-The kiss: the 1st one MC stands with “claw hands” at his side, on the second one, the “claw hands” start shaking

-MC hunches over after he burns the noose

-He stands over the monkey, conducting it with one hand, he is mimicking the symbol clashes, he doesn’t touch it or cover its face

-When Christine returns the ring, his hand shakes as he takes it, he’s hunched over again. 

-She does seem conflicted about leaving, but she doesn’t press her hand back around his, she holds out the ring and his hand shakes as she takes it. She doesn’t linger very long. 

-He says a second “I love you” after she’s gone.

-He’s about to say it a third time, he says “I love…” and then see the veil, and grabs it and screams into it, and then turns and sees the boat leaving

-He sobs and keens a lot

-Raoul bends in the boat to caress Christine’s face on “say the word”)--this is halfway across the stage as opposed to during the stage right exit.

-Deliberately cracks voice on the "can" in “you alone can make” 

-MC Cradling the veil like a baby at the very end

SEND ME YOUR QUESTIONS! You can put it in comments, reblogs, AMA or DM's. I will answer all of them on January 26!

[ingravinoveritas]

So I just wanna ask u just does this look like a real happy healthy relationship and in love with each or just put on for show for the fans and why do I feel like she making it all about her again and reminded everyone who she with it feels micheal was forced in the pictures taking with her the red carpet photo she looked bored and annoyed cos michael not paying any attention he just look miserable but I bet if it was David standing there instead of anna his face would be beaming like the one Georgia posted of them 4 together micheal face is electric and see how he lean toward David that best friend goals and I just love seeing them together cos that when he at his most happiness place

Also I find it strange that Anna was left out in staged scene but David wife gerogia made appearance doesn't that strike u as odd and gerogia brought the plus one date a girl could have and it wasnt anna yet they call each other wife clearly not as close etc then David and Michael are it seems.

And did u notice in the scene with David and Tom hiddleson about the dog sitter initially could present as benign and then he and the dog get up to all kinds of hijinks and ultimately disrupt stuffy old Michael sheen boring life but for the better like why put that in the script maybe his life with anna is boring and only staying cos he feels he needs too for the young children what do u think of all this

From @amata-haan along with a screenshot of the group photo:

(Grouping all of these together since it seems we've got a bit to talk about here.)

So, the biggest point of discussion seems to be the group pic that Georgia posted, and I will put up a larger size of that for us to discuss:

When I saw that Georgia had posted this in an Insta story, of course my first thought was "Finally a picture of Michael and David together!" I think that was what we were all hoping for all night, to where it was almost glaring that we hadn't gotten one when the event ended (until Georgia's post, that is).

The second thing that came to mind is what you alluded to @moriarty-sisters, about this being a near repeat of what we've seen a few times before (first at the NTAs in 2021, and then the group photo Georgia posted on Michael's birthday, that appears to have been taken after Michael went to see Macbeth):

Every time, Georgia is on the right. Every time, she and Anna have the same tight smiles while Michael and David have huge grins on their faces. At this point, it feels intentional, because twice might be a coincidence, but three times is a plan. There are slight differences to the vibes in each picture--although Georgia looks like she knows a secret and Michael and David look like a very happy couple in every one of them--but last night's group pic was...something.

Which takes me to your comment @phantomstars24 about how Michael is holding AL. I was under the impression that he had his hand on her waist, but if he is touching her breast, I'm perplexed at that being her reaction. She looks stiff and like a deer caught in the headlights, and regardless of where Michael's hand is, it doesn't seem like that's a great way to look when your own boyfriend is touching you. Adding to the strange optics is the fact that Michael is actually leaning toward David in the picture and away from her. It looks like his arm/shoulder is pressing into David and there isn't a millimeter of space between them, yet he seems to be a mile away from Anna despite having an arm around her.

(And none of this is even touching on Georgia using the theme song from Friends in the Insta story for the group pic, which she had to know we would all notice...)

So yes, a lot of thoughts on the group pic, but overall delighted to see Michael and David looking so happy next to each other. Especially Michael, in stark contrast to how he looked in some of the other pictures.

Speaking of which...I briefly talked about Michael and AL at the BAFTAs yesterday here and here, so I will try not to repeat myself too much in this part of my answer. But what I think we are seeing is two things: Anna's fantasy of what she thinks her and Michael's relationship is, and the reality of what we saw at the BAFTAs.

I think in AL's mind, she and Michael were like Georgia and David. But if we are going to say that Georgia and David were very loving and sweet together on the red carpet yesterday--which they absolutely were, with the kiss they shared and David comforting Georgia when she was experiencing anxiety--then there is no way you can look at the pictures of Michael and Anna and see the same thing. Even without bringing GT/DT into it, there is a massive, marked difference between pictures of Michael with AL vs. pictures of him with literally anyone else (such as this pic with Hannah Waddingham).

Looking at Anna's pictures that she posted, every one of them seems to be about ownership, right down to the Insta story with the #mine hashtag (which again seems to be her copying Georgia, also on the night of an award ceremony). The vibe that I got was of a teenager who'd won a date with her favorite celebrity and took him to the prom. Ultimately, though, she looked out of place, and he looked uncomfortable with her, both of which are a remarkable feat after five years of a relationship.

The pictures also repeated themes we've seen before (AL has previously posted a picture of her kissing Michael's cheek where he looks equally withdrawn; the photo in the car on the way to the event is a copy of pictures Georgia has posted of her and David in the car on the way to events) and speak to that idea of pushing a certain narrative, despite neither one of them appearing to sell it very well.

To that end, and to your comments @lepqueen and @turquoisedata, I would agree with you that it looks like AL is trying to mark her territory. The problem is that Michael had more chemistry just talking with David in that opening BAFTAs sketch than he did with Anna the entire night, and she was frequently left looking like she had no idea what she was doing or why she was there. Another example of this is an Insta story she posted earlier today that again demonstrated her main interest in the relationship:

What's particularly noteworthy is the follow up Insta story on the right, which I couldn't believe she actually posted. I think that if you are fine and happy with the narrative you've put out, you are not going to be bothered by or salty about a comment like that, and AL clearly was. And all of this then casts at least some doubt that the pictures she posted are really telling the whole story. Just a recap of what we do know about last night (and if I am forgetting anything, someone please let me know):

- Anna was the only principal member of the cast who was not in the Staged-themed opening sketch, despite being in all three seasons of the show. - Anna was not seated next to Michael during the in person part of the opening sketch, despite there being no reason the producers couldn't have put her next to him even as a seat filler. - Georgia brought her friend Daisy Aitkens as a +1 and sat with her instead of Anna, leaving us with the above picture of AL sitting alone and staring straight ahead while in the background of a Michael J. Fox picture (that she is acting like is a picture of her with him, instead of her photobombing a picture of MJF with his wife). - During the show, the camera repeatedly cut to Michael in the audience when there was no reason to do so, but did not show Anna on camera once.

So yes, I think that if last night at the BAFTAs was somehow AL's attempt to mark her territory/assert her place in the UK acting industry, it did not seem to go over well. I think David and Georgia's relationship and Michael and David's relationship emerged even stronger than before, and unfortunately AL and Michael's relationship did not and does not compare.

My apologies for rambling on, as I never intended for this to get so long. As I've said before, this is all just my opinion, and I know I could be completely wrong, so I'm glad as always to hear from my followers with your thoughts. Thanks for writing in! x

[kindredspiritsandgoodomens]

"Even memory is an act of imagination, you never tell the same story twice, not even to yourself" ~ Michael Burkard

This quote showed up on my dash and reminded me of The Rashomon Job and how interesting I find it that many people can watch the episode and walk away with the impression that we've been told the 'correct' or 'true' version of what happened that night, specifically by Nate.

And I get why. The team certainly lets him have the last word, and structurally we are used to the 'Nate's Eye View' dénouement being the point where we see a complex web of events finally make sense as a designed structure. But the multiple thefts of the dagger weren't part of a unified whole arranged by Nate, or by anyone - so maybe we should approach the usual conceit of revealing the scheme as seen through the eyes of the mastermind rather differently in this episode.

As an audience, we depend on Nate's ability to pull off the impossible just as much as the team do, and even though we (and the team) may roll our eyes at his god complex it's important for our continued investment that we (and they) manage to almost believe he's Just That Good. But the tell that his version of this particular story is not entirely without colour is that it's all just a little too neat.

When the storytelling starts, Nate's delighted. The minute he realises he can scoop them all, and even retroactively be the mastermind who puts it all together, he's just pleased as punch. "Why don't you all come over and I'll tell you what really happened." He says. You know, like a liar.

The first thing of note about Nate's Version is that he never went into the party, but still takes it upon himself to give them an authoritative reconstructed version of what went down based entirely on his own sense of how it would have happened, based on his understanding of the team and his assumptions about their behaviour. Naturally in Nate's Version Eliot and Sophie don't flirt even a little. Naturally in Nate's version it's going to be Eliot who takes Sophie's adulterated champagne glass, intended for Hardison, from Parker's tray, despite nobody else having specified anything about this detail (Eliot - the gastronome - wouldn't remember spitting out foul tasting champagne? Sophie wouldn't have noticed a key part of her plan going awry?). But this way it fits it all together like one of his plans, so naturally it's all going to be nice and neat.

Not content with imagining the entirety of the party sequence, he also entirely constructs a conversation between Coswell and the securty guard locked in the store room. Based on Nate's own description of his movements there's simply no way for him to know what went down in that room. We know from Parker that Coswell made his way into the vents, and we know how he got the climbing equipment, but would the Coswell of Nate's Version really go climbing into ducts? It's neat, but it's thin.

Coswell is really where we have to question the neutrality and authority of Nate's version the most. Not only because - even if we allow that IYS jackass Nate Ford did in fact perceive this security guy (probably most security guys) as an ineffectual irritant - he's clearly reacting to Sophie's contemporary jibe about Coswell's potentially superior intelligence by making the man a buffoon in his retelling. But, also, because believing him about Coswell's buffoonery requires us to accept that Parker, Eliot, Hardison and Sophie all massively overestimated an opponent on a job. Is that really plausible? Even if we allow for a percentage of exaggeration because they're thieves swapping stories in a bar, it doesn't add up. Hardison and Parker, who were young and mostly there for clout, maybe. Eliot and Sophie? No.

When they describe Coswell as brusque, efficient, and suspicious - and they corroborate each other, we should be very wary of Nate's entirely re-written character sketch of the man. Especially the idea that his behaviour could all be explained because he had a crush on Sophie. Sophie Devereaux - who can pick a mark's weakness of a driving license photo - not notice when the head of museum security has a crush on her? Not bloody likely.

Everything Nate remembers Coswell as actually saying could just as easily have been said by the version of Coswell the others describe. For instance, "I don't know much about gold but I know it's not meant to do that." Could be silly - could be sardonic. Nate thinks he's an irritating pleb, so it's recounted as silly. But even in Nate's Version Coswell makes a good point about the dealer running. Again, it's neat, but it's thin.

As for the idea that the dagger fell from a vent directly into his hand? Well, as Hardison says, nobody's that lucky. Nate's showboating. He's embellishing and neatening his recounting of his own (biased) recollections just as much as the others, and he's doing it to reinforce his team's (and maybe his own) perception of him as slightly beyond the laws of chance, reason, and even physics. This episode is also one of the last times he denies that he's a thief - a tell if ever there was one.

Eliot and Sophie both express reservations, but they let him have it, because on some level they know that they need him to be that lucky. The whole house of cards only stays up if Nate really is That Good.

Plus, of course, none of the team's versions are without colour - and they all know it. Firstly, all perception is shaped by biases. So Sophie remembers different details than Eliot or Parker, because they look at the world differently and prioritise different kinds of contextual awareness, reasoning, and value judgements. Secondly, and more importantly, they're not just remembering and recounting what happened that night - they're all thieves telling stories to other thieves, to friends they want to wind up (the accents getting worse and worse, Sophie saying Coswell was maybe even smarter than Nate), impress (Hardison being the centre of female attention, Sophie getting a round of applause), or correct (Eliot and Sophie both claiming the other was the one doing all the flirting, when if we take Hardison's word...) But their descriptions of the sequence of events all line up reasonably well.

Ultimately they're all right about parts of it. Nate's probably right about Coswell being ineffectual by IYS standards. Sophie's probably right about his personality. Hardison's probably right about Eliot and Sophie flirting outrageously. Parker's probably right about her encounter with Coswell in the vents (she's not going to misremember vents). But we, the audience, don't see the One True Version of what happened that night.

That's why it's so nice when the episode ends with them all going to steal the dagger, properly, together. Because that's where the truth is. The truth that they're all thieves, telling stories in a bar. Even Nate. But when they're stealing things together they can defy the laws of chance, reason, and even physics. That's where they'll really see and understand each other, and that's what matters.

[sinner-sunflower]

P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 13/?

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 14, PART 14.5, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22, PART 23, PART 24, PART 25, PART 26

Luci is the older sib among the Sins but he's the youngest among the Archangels.

I guess technically, he's the suffering middle child.

If y'all see a mention baby bro or little brother in the Prequel, pretend like you didn't see it ;laksldakl;

-----------------------------------------------

Perhaps Lucifer should've requested a 1 visitor per visit rule just like he should've expected that he's going to get tackled and suffocated in physical affection by the Sins and Charlie as soon as Belphegor opened the door.

Not that he doesn't like the hugs but he's just one tiny guy and he's pretty sure he's about to be buried alive under these giants.

Thank fuck for Belphegor for prying them off of him before he actually suffocated.

Belphegor: What did I say?! What did I just say?! What are you all? Children?!

A gasp and a coughing fit later, he finally calmed down enough to get his breathing steady. He thanks Alastor for the water, taking huge sips to fix his throat.

'Not to self: don't get buried alive. It's not a fun experience.'

He looks over at the now kneeling Charlie and Sins, head bowed as the Sin of Sloth relentlessly scolds them.

Belphegor: -powers in Hell and you can't follow one simple rule? May I remind you all what happens if I'm disobeyed while I'm treating someone?

All: Visiting rights will be stripped off.

Belphegor: That's right. And I am not above putting a ward on any of you to make it stay that way.

Never mess with Dr. Belphegor. As much as Lucifer is amused, he takes pity on his kids (his kids!) and speaks up to save them from the doctor's wrath.

Lucifer: I think they get it, Bel.

The kneeling demons cower as Belphegor sends them one last glare before huffing and went to typing something in her tablet again.

Beelzebub: Sorry for getting carried away, babe. We just got scared.

Asmodeus: Charlie's call really scared us. Did something happen in Heaven?

Satan: Tell me if that bastard Michael did this, I'll go to Heaven myself and beat his ass! In fact, I'm going over there right now. Open a portal.

Leviathan: Christ, Satan. Can you do one minute without thinking of doing something impulsive?

Satan: Don't say that name here! And fuck you! You're one to talk. Which one of us almost obliterated their ring in anger earlier, huh??

Lucifer: Wha- Levi??

Leviathan: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Mammon: Wait, is that why the elevator took so fuckin long to work? I thought I was gonna be stuck there foreva!

Charlie: At least you're all here now!

Charlie's wholesome sentiment made her aunts and uncles coo, wholeheartedly agreeing with her.

Lucifer: My duckie is right. Even though I said I was fine, you all still came for me. I'm starting to feel bad about making you all rush here every time I get hurt.

Satan: Don't you dare. No one is forcing us to be here.

Beelzebub: Right! Plus you always did the same for us.

He remembers those moments. When the rings formed and the Sins grew enough to move and handle them on their own, he was pretty lonely. Sure, he had Lilith, but children brought a different kind of joy with their company.

Plus, he loved indulging in others and all the children wanted was his attention, which he was always so happy to give.

The last person he would've thought to call him for help first was, believe it or not, Leviathan.

Levi had always presented himself as independent, acting like he's not as young as he was. Lucifer saw the aquatic demon's admiration for him, often mimicking how he talks, walks, and even dresses.

Lilith says it's envy (Because what else could it be, Luci? Isn't he the Sin of Envy?) but Lucifer knows better. He knows that Leviathan only looks at him in admiration. He looks at him like he hung the stars. Like Lucifer means something. Like he deserves to be looked at that way.

He doesn't but he's not going to tell young Leviathan that.

Anyway, Levi couldn't get the raging storms of Envy under control despite trying so hard. He was crying, begging Lucifer to believe that he did everything he could but nothing was working.

So he did what every good sibling/pseudo-father wouldo.

He drops everything and headed straight to Envy. In fact, he ran so fast he forgot to tell Lilith he was leaving.

Instead of fixing the situation himself, Lucifer chose that moment to teach Leviathan. He stayed in Envy until the other got it and not once did he berate Levi for not knowing something that wasn't even taught. It was his fault after all that Levi couldn't control it as he should've known that it doesn't come to everyone that easily.

The little scolding he got from Lilith when he came home super late was worth seeing a proud face on little Levi.

Lucifer: And I always will.

When it doesn't look like they're leaving him anytime soon, he figures he could just tell them now. He sat up a little straighter and internally braces himself for the expected uproar.

Lucifer: Heaven is on the verge of a civil war.

He winces. 'Way to rip off the bandaid, Lucifer.'

The room halted. They stared at him as they try to comprehend what he said just said. Then all at once, everyone bursts into screaming and panic, asking questions at him, at each other, at no one, at everyone. It was chaos and Lucifer can feel something rumble inside him. He figures Roo is enjoying all this unfold.

To be fair, he should've thought better than to say something like that out of the blue.

Lucifer: Sorry from dropping a bomb like that suddenly.

Satan: A bomb???

Mammon: Mate, that's a fuckin' nuclear one if I know one! The fuck you mean a war??

Lucifer: A civil war.

Charlie: What? How are we roped in it?? It's not because of the last extermination right?

Belphegor: You couldn't have told us this the moment you arrived?

Satan: Are we involved? Is that why Michael shot a freakin' laser through the sky??

Lucifer: No but-

Beelzebub: Oh god.

Lucifer: Guys, if you just-

Leviathan: Ozzie, how is our forces? Do you think we have enough manpower?

Lucifer: Guys-

Asmodeus: If it's only our fighting forces, then no. I'm sure a lot of demons would be willing to fight. Plus we have the firepower.

Lucifer: I-

Belphegor: Do we even know if angelic weapons would harm a higher ranked angel?

Oh for fucks-

Lucifer: Ê̵̡̟͔͉̱͓͓̪̝̫͙͇̞͛̓͐͒͒̎͒̋͘Ǹ̶̛͙̲̮͓͈̳̗̟̣̊̍͋́̇̀̋̐́̚̕͜O̷͇͔̒̇͋́͋́̓́͂́͆͋̅͘U̴̡̙̫͕̞̩͎̭̤̤͙̠̓̐̊̚͜G̵͖͇̘̘̩̟̗̠̬̐̈́͛́̾̈́̾̍́̈́̏͠͝H̶̢̬͉̯̞͇̯͈͙̜̬͚̟͙̊̈́͋͂̂̾̒̅̈́̆͊͗͂̚͝.̷̧͇͔͖̜̳̲̪̤͇̇͊͑̋͛̾̓͜͜

.

.

.

The room rattles from his voice. He stop his horns and halo from coming out. Lucifer can't see it but everyone else is staring at him in abject horror as his skin turned into a dark, glitchy mess.

He calms himself by taking in deep breathes until the fire in his mouth extinguishes.

Lucifer: Can I speak now?

[hello-nichya-here]

Hi. What do you think about Lisa and Michael's marriage? I mean... they had a complex relationship. Do you think he made mistakes in some of his actions? Do you think both were immature?

The best way to describe Michael Jackson is "Surprisingly well-adjusted for someone who was abused his entire life" and the best way to describe Lisa is "Surprisingly well-adjusted for someone who was literally being exploited in a cult."

I love Michael with all my heart, but he would disappear for weeks after fights with his wife, and told her, to her face, that if she didn't give him children, he was gonna get someone else (who was supposedly just a friend) pregnant, and then he did and went on to marry her. "Made mistakes" is quite the understatement. This is on the level of "Do you WANT to make this woman hate you?"

Not to mention the simple fact that being married to someone who has an addiction is quite the emotional turmoil - especially when they're addicted to the same thing that killed one of your parents and full on told you they feared they'd die the same way. It really isn't hard to understand why Lisa Marie asked for a divorce, and then also gave up on the "affair" they had during his second marriage (well, """"marriage"""" if we're going to be honest here).

But that's not to say Lisa was perfect. She wasn't. She full on said "He had a sad childhood, but who didn't?" to kind of dismiss the whole Peter Pan thing he had of compensating for the time of his life - which is an INSANE thing to say. There's "My childhood wasn't that fun" and there's being a survivor of abuse.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying Lisa was some heartless monster (if anything, to me that sounds more like her being very much in denial about how traumatic her own childhood was and not liking that Michael was indirectly/accidentally reminding her "No, what happened to you wasn't normal, you need help too") but obviously it'd hurt to open up about something like that and have your own wife act like you're being dramatic. Dude was the definition of "Just 'cause you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you" after all, of course he would take that to heart.

Lisa also full on admited that, looking back, she had not truly appreciated how much Michael had genuinely tried to make things work for a long time. That it truly had been a HUGE step in the right direction for someone as traumatized him to open up to her the way he did, to share his life with someone, to let everyone see him in love. She full on said that it took him dying for her to finally understand that he loved her.

I think Lisa also set herself up for disappointment to some extent.

She married the man that called himself Peter Pan and lived in Neverland, then was suprised that he was goofing off during interviews instead of trying to act more "adult" to prove their marriage was real. She didn't want her marriage to be turned into a spectacle, yet her husband was literally Michael Jackson (and he had just been accused of abusing little boys, OF COURSE he'd be reminding everyone that he was very much a straight man). She literally said in an interview that she thought she could save him - she looked at that trainwreck of a life that left this man badly damaged, emotionally stunted, paranoid and depressed, then went "I can fix him!" when she was equally messed up. Just terrible idea after terrible idea.

They both went through A LOT of tragedy from a very young age, and it messed them up. On good days, that made them a great match because they could relate to, and find comfort in, each other. But on the bad days? It was a VERY toxic relationship - and not because one or both of them were terrible people, but because, to put it bluntly, it's hard to have a normal, healthy relationship when you never experienced it, or even seen it, your whole life. Of course they didn't know how to make it work.

Add in the fact that a lot of people, including Lisa's mother, seemed to be actively rooting for them to fail, and openly questioning if their marriage was even real, and it becomes a truly unbearable situation. Lisa gets a lot of shit from some MJ fans for being the one who ended things (twice), but in all honesty, sooner or later Michael would have said "enough is enough" too.

And it really is a shame, because considering how genuinely happy they seemed through a lot of their marriage, how they showed support to each other through hard times after spliting up, how they couldn't keep their hands off each other for five freaking years after their divorce, how Michael's nephew was defending Lisa from slanders in public because he had only ever heard his uncle say good things about her, and how much Lisa was grieving after Michael's death, it's clear that they loved each other A LOT.

[rzyraffek]

Oh, oh! I got one!

okay okay, so, don’t feel pressured to write this if you do t want to, but what about slashers (Vincent Sinclair, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, anyone else you wanna add) with a s/o who gets really distracted? Like, in the middle of doing something that should be simple, they zone out and forget what they were doing. (I have really bad ADHD so that’s why I’m asking-)

like, they even have to remind their s/o to take medicine and just nudges to get them back on track-

idk, do what you will with that idea, and again, thank u for ur time!!

btw, u look amazing today!!

You too look amazing today! Thanks for request! Why is everyone so spooked of requesting, the worst thing I can do is not answer🥰

Slashers with s/o that gets distracted A LOT

Sinclair Vincent

Imagine, s/o is in Vince workplace first time, he probably wants to turn them into wax figure, he leaves room for one second to grab some tools. Boom s/o is just walking around judging his wax figurines

Mans gonna be like 🧍in corridor when they are just amused by how cute and pretty some of those lil figurines are🥰

After they get along, Vince really enjoys slow walks thrue gallery or just near area, cuz its very pretty and there's no Bo screaming like child

He saw some pretty leaves, he went to pick them up so he can show them to s/o. He turn around... where.. where are they??!?!? Huuh did they leave him?? Dude will be overthinking hard. But after few minutes of looking for them, they just kinda spawn behind him "hey vince look i found this cool as rocks and then I saw deer's and I kinda fallowed them to this dope river come see!"they just grab his hand and lead him :(tbh vince was this close to mental break down, now he always holds hands

Myers Micheal

My dude is about to buy one of those backpack leashes that some parents have. He's like 80years young, ain't no way he's going to run around city looking for some guy who just saw pretty butterfly and almost got hit by a car 5times.

To be honest they should be ones making sure he won't just walk of and get lost in Forest judging by his age

When he notice that s/o didnt take their daily medicine he just takes it and slams it on desk/table next to them or just throws it at them! Take the pills dummy!

S/o calling him 'heya mickey im lost pick me up' happends twice per week. Really s/o be more careful pls

Voorhees Jason

If you thought that Vincent panicked? Oh this guy will have mental breakdown, cry and then search whole place

In forests signal sucks so they can't call him and screams won't do much cuz echo and Jason is mute so he cant yell back anyways

He won't buy leash but he will hold their hand 24/7 nuh uh you cant go run after those deers, no you can't go swimming we know what happend in 1957

Now he has ptsd and evertime he wakes up and doesn't see s/o in his eyesight he instantly thinks that she's in difrent country or dead

Heelshire Brahms

This dude knows the whole mansion no way he loses them here right?

Jokes on you brahms they are already on the other side of it

Even tho they are in closed space, which is safe and very known to Brahms it doesnt stop his abandment issues and... idk he has a lot of issues tbh. No matter how long he knows s/o he's is 100% sure that they are trying to leave.

He will probably speed run thrue corridors screaming their name and he just stubbles across them just watching paitinings on walls "this you? You were ugly ass baby" "WHERE WERE YOU" "I saw funny rats and i wondered where they have secret cheese hideout" "rats?😰" (its a reference to my old fic where brahms was beaten up by rats and now hes spooked of them)

He has calendar with highlighted date everyday they have to take pills and how many so every morning when s/o wakes up they see his face like few centimetres away from theirs, with aggressive eye contact holding pills "it is time my love" " oh :("

I added brahms cuz hes goofy, have wonderful day person reading this!! And never be spooked to ask for headcanons! We love that

[bradshawsbaby]

hi! just wanted to say i love your miles as al ruddy x younger gf blurbs !! i was wondering what about him introducing her to young al pacino and her being completely enthralled by him that he gets kinda jealous

Please! I love this so much! 🥺 I hope you enjoy!

You had never been to such a big event for the studio before, and you were nervous. What would you wear? What would you say? Would you get all tongue-tied or put your foot in your mouth? Despite working at Paramount for months now, you still got incredibly starstruck when you met celebrities. But the last thing you wanted to do was embarrass Al in front of all his colleagues. You knew you had to play it cool.

Thankfully, in the days leading up to the gala, Bettye took you shopping on Rodeo Drive, where you spent half your paycheck on a floor length gown with a plunging neckline that you hoped Al would love.

Considering the way he tried to tear it off you before the two of you had even left the house, you were pretty confident you had succeeded.

“Darling, we’re going to be late,” you giggled, swatting his hands away playfully.

“Stars are always fashionably late,” he teased, gripping your waist and nibbling on your ear.

“I’m not a star,” you reminded him, resting a hand on his chest and pushing him away with a coquettish grin.

“You are to me,” he winked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small black velvet box. “Here,” he murmured, indicating that you should turn around. “A gift for my little starlet,” he grinned, draping a gorgeous diamond pendant around your neck.

“Al!” you gasped, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. “It’s so beautiful!”

“Like you,” Al smiled, secretly pleased that you liked it so much. “Now let’s go get this gala over with so that we can come home and I can get you out of this dress.”

If there was one thing Paramount knew how to do and do well, it was throw a party. You were positively awestruck as you glided around the room on Al’s arm, shaking hands and rubbing elbows with Hollywood’s elite. It was almost too grand to be believed.

You thought you had been doing a good job so far of keeping your starstruck comments to yourself, but then Al glanced across the room and smiled, turning back to look at you. “Come on, baby doll, there’s someone I want to introduce you to.”

Slipping your hand into his, you let him lead you across the crowded room until you were standing face to face with none other than Michael Corleone himself.

“Baby, I’d like you to meet—”

“Al Pacino!” you gasped, unable to control yourself. “Oh my goodness, I’m such a big fan!” you gushed, eagerly slipping your hand into his extended one.

The dark-haired actor—who was even more handsome in person than he was on the silver screen—smiled sheepishly at your praise, glancing down at his shoes. “Oh, well, thank you. I appreciate that a lot.”

“You were so wonderful in The Godfather! Very magnetic. I couldn’t take my eyes off you the whole time!” you went on, feeling as bubbly as the champagne you’d been sipping all night.

Al cleared his throat at that, but you barely registered it, your eyes wide as you continued to stare at Al Pacino.

Pacino rubbed the back of his neck at that, looking almost embarrassed. “Oh, gosh, well I never would have gotten the part without Al here,” he insisted gratefully.

You glanced up at your boyfriend, beaming with pride, but then quickly turned back to the other Al.

“Do you have any new projects you’re working on?” you asked curiously, still unable to believe you were having a real life conversation with an up-and-coming Hollywood actor.

“Yes, a couple,” Al nodded with a small smile, chuckling softly. He was surprisingly soft spoken. “I hope you’ll enjoy them.”

“Oh, I’m sure I will!” you beamed, your words spilling out in a rush. You opened your mouth to say more, but your Al was suddenly resting a hand on your lower back, guiding you in the opposite direction.

“Well, we’ll let you get back to the party,” your boyfriend said, his expression looking a little strained. “Good to see you, Al.”

“Same to you,” Pacino nodded, offering you one more smile. “Happy to have met you.”

“Same here!” you giggled, waving farewell as Al led you towards the bar. “Oh, wow! Al Pacino! I can’t believe I just talked to Al Pacino!” you exclaimed once you were sure he was out of earshot. “That was so—what’s wrong?”

Looking up at Al, you were surprised to see that was he frowning, leaning against the bar and trying to flag down the bartender.

“Nothing,” he muttered, though you could immediately tell that wasn’t true.

“Was it something I said?” you questioned, suddenly feeling self-conscious. You had been trying so hard not to make a fool of yourself or Al. “Did I get too excited? I’m sorry, Al, sometimes I just—”

“It’s fine,” he insisted, throwing back the shot of whiskey he’d just ordered. Still, he frowned and wouldn’t quite meet your eye. “He’s a good looking guy, Pacino. Everybody says so.”

Ah, so that was it.

“Are you…jealous?” you asked, eyes widening as you gazed up at him.

Wordlessly, Al shifted his body so that he was facing you, his mouth tightening though he said nothing.

“Oh, darling,” you murmured, draping your arms around him and kissing the corner of his mouth. “I know I can be silly when it comes to meeting stars, but you have to know you’re the only one for me.” You leaned in closer and pressed your lips against his ear. “You’re the only Al I love.”

Al cracked a smile at that, his hand grazing down your back and resting just above your rear end. “What do you say we get out of here?” he suggested in a low voice.

You giggled, nodding in agreement. “Time to get me out of this dress,” you whispered, taking his hand as he tugged you out of the gala without saying a single goodbye.

[fandomworld9728]

Letters to Emily - Chapter 7:

"Asmodeus just called me. They'll be here in a couple minutes." Her dad was finally able to come home from Sloth. It had been almost two weeks since he had to be admitted and she couldn't be more grateful to Belphegor for saving him. He still had some healing to do, but he wasn't in critical condition anymore.

"I know you're excited for him to be back at the hotel, but is a party really the best idea for a recovering patient?"

"I just want him to know he was missed. It'll be fine, Vaggie. It's nothing big. Just some food and our company. Some movies we can all watch in the parlor together that way he can still feel included and not feel bad if he falls asleep during it."

"Wow toots, you got a lot of your bases covered. How long were ya planning this?"

"Days. Ever since Aunt Bel told me that he could be come home after she ran some tests." Okay, so maybe Charlie wasn't handling this in a healthy way. But she had almost lost her dad and wanted to make sure he felt loved. Wanted to pamper him a little with some of his favorite things to do. Was that so wrong?

"Right... so we're gonna have both of ya passin' out on us."

"Angel. Oh! That must be Uncle Ozzie!" Rushing to the door, Charlie threw it open with a big smile on her. "You're finally home- oh. I-I'm sorry. I thought that you were someone else."

"That's alright. Is Lucifer here?"

"Uh... no. Sorry." Who was this guy and why was he looking for her dad? She's never seen anyone like him before. He was almost as pale as her and her dad, but his hair was much darker. Almost as black as the night sky in the human world. His eyes reminded her of when her dad was in his demonic form. Such a beautiful shade of gold. Almost like honey.

"That's alright. Do you mind if I wait here for him?"

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt. If I may, who are you?"

"Me? My name is-"

"Az!~" 

Making sure his feet were planted, Azrael turned and caught the smaller man in his arms with a laugh. "Luci. I missed you."

~

"What do you mean he left already?!"

"Sera. Why is Michael so upset about Azrael went ahead? Doesn't it make sense for him to go on ahead to let them know?"

It didn't happen often, but it was days like this when the fierce sword of God acted like a bratty little kid, that Sera wished to lose herself in a drink or two. Not get drunk. Just enough to relax her mind. However, that was not allowed here, and she couldn't leave her station to go to Earth for the chance.

"Because, he has this unhealthy attachment to Lucifer."

"It is not unhealthy!"

"Do not yell at me young man!"

~

Sitting next her dad on the couch, Charlie was surprised to learn that this guy - Archangel - had been very close to her dad before and after the fall. The only one who stayed in touch with him. Had even known about her.��

"Everyone. This is Azrael, Angel of Death, Sheperd of Souls, and one of my best friends."

"It's a pleasure to meet all of Luci's friends. Oh, and heads up. Michael and Gabriel will be stopping by to see you."

That had soured the mood. All of a sudden, his smile fell, and he tensed up. "W-What? Michael- here? W-Why? Why would he- he can't. He can't!"

"Dad? Dad what's wrong?"

"I thought this might happen. Which is why I came here ahead of them." Moving away from the couch so Lucifer could lay down, Azrael took off his cape and laid it over the smaller man. "You see... Michael and Gabriel were the ones forced to deliver his punishment. As much as they hated to hurt and cast out our little Luci, they didn't have a choice. Those actions haunted them every day." 

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[laylaruggiero-blogs]

My take on the relationships in the godfather (kay, michael, and apollonia)

This might be a controversial take, but I’m a fan of Apollonia x Michael and not Michael x Kay. It reminds me of like when you have a crush on someone but never act on it, Kay realized too late that Michael was her real love and by then he was gone already anyways.

~~~~~~~

A lot of people discuss about Apollonia’s age and how young she is, at the time in life this was normalized and she is the age of a adult in Sicily so I don’t think it mattered too much especially since it wasn’t too much of a significant age gap. I believe he went to Sicily to get away from it and wanting sort of a rebound or escape from that life, and when he first met Apollonia wasn’t thinking much. As time goes on, you can see how Michael’s love for her grows in the short time they have together.

~~~~~~~ I also think he was determined to marry her so fast is because he takes a lot of pride in his family and compared to Kay, Apollonia is someone who his family would accept and due to him not being home for a while I feel as if he could see his family within Apollonia. A lot of people state that Kay symbolizes what he wants to be, and Apollonia symbolizes what he really is I think whilst this is true, there is no changing someone who was raised in this way or lifestyle.

~~~~~~

Also at this time period a lot of people got married after meeting someone for the first time so that also makes sense (i know a lot of relationships like this that actually lasted too!!) With the small language and cultural differences they had (I’m pretty sure Michael could speak italian but not sicilian dialect, as a native in sicilian dialect I can confirm the two are very different) you could see the pair grow through their facial expressions as there love got stronger, and while I’m adamant to end this on a sad note we all know where this leads and I think I’ll conclude by discussing how upset he was after the whole situation.

~~~~~~~ I think in the end he did regret how he treated Kay but it was mostly due to his life being with her now and Apollonia being gone. What is even worse is that in the book Apollonia is pregnant… which I’m surprised they didn’t include in the movie because it would make Michael have more depth behind his emotions and I feel like it would have been more powerful for his character overall.

anyways rip to our sicilian princess

[ashiemochi]

anubussy - xii (ii)

✠ Anubussy ↳ sorry, i don't want your touch ↳↳ it's not that i don't want you

➶ pairing: OC x Leon S(exy) Kennedy. ➶ genre: fluff, more angst, gore, longer smut/suggestive themes ➶ word count: no

NOTE: ✠ = time skip ✠✠ = switching povs/characters

Rose Guidry belongs to @the-resident-vampire!!

prev -> next

Speeches time was – if not – the one thing So Ah was worried about; and not in a bad way. She really didn’t want to test the limits of her mascara.

Chris, surprisingly, had a speech prepared but he didn’t write it down. He started out simple and lighthearted, ending it with a little inside joke. The guests laughed but those who knew shared looks whilst muffling their snickers.

“First, I’d like to congratulate my two dear friends – actually, only one. I don’t know about Leon, he smells weird. I’m only kidding. Congratulations you two. The venue is really beautiful and judging from the plants and the artistic themes, I think we all know who did most of the decor choices. Lastly, Leon, hope you’re ready for the chase of your life. Cheers.”

Then was ChoHee who actually brought a small piece of paper with her. Her speech was a bit longer but sweet to the newlyweds. Of course, a best friend wasn’t a best friend without some playful jokes.

“I’m surprised So Ah got to marry first – and now I owe her dinner at Congdu. I remember the first time she told me about Leon, and something in me knew that she was already head over heels for him. When I met him, I just thought to myself ‘it’s gotta be that goddamn hair’. I love you, So Ah. Sharing my bento with you was the best decision I’ve ever made. And Leon, take care of her or I’m getting the scissors. Cheers!”

Michael went third and Jaehyun instantly gave So Ah a good luck look, reminding her that their dad truly had not a single emotion in his bone. He was always the stoic kind and straight to business. Sugarcoating was not his forte.

“Thank you all for attending my daughter’s and my now son-in-law’s wedding. As some of you may know about the incident several years ago, he was the one who kept her safe throughout it all. My family’s safety was my top priority too, so it felt good to see that he thought the same. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t know what I would’ve done if something were to have happened to my dear So Ah. So, congratulations and welcome to the family, Leon Kennedy.”

Okay, Jaehyun looked surprised, earning a faint giggle from the bride at his face. Leon had nudged So Ah’s shoulder with his, grinning as he gently tapped his wine glass with hers. 

Lastly was Sena. How So Ah felt after she was done didn’t need to be said. 

“This might be a little long, so please, forgive me – but I’m not truly sorry. It seems like yesterday where So Ah was just a little girl drawing how she’d wish her wedding to be with her little Prince Charming. And now, it’s all come true because Leon’s here to treat her like the princess she is.”

“You have no idea how utterly proud I am of you for being so strong and so kind – and know that Minji would’ve been just as proud, if not more. I only wish I would’ve been there for you more when you were young as I feel I have missed watching you grow into the woman you are right now. To my eyes, you’ll always be my baby. My sweet little Soo. Here’s to Leon and So Ah, wishing nothing but the most beautiful days for you two.”

Leon comforted So Ah when she started crying a little, rubbing her back and tugging her close to kiss her temple. 

And that concluded the speeches.

✠

It was time for their first dance – So Ah was about to vomit as Leon was fixing his suit whilst the DJ started the next song.

“I don’t think I can dance, Leon.” She whispered to him, catching his attention, “It’s difficult with the heels on.”

Leon glanced down then at her, pushing his chair back “So, take them off.”

Her eyes widened a bit, clearly shocked, “What?”

“It’s not like anyone would notice with your dress being that long.” Leon pointed out with a chuckle.

Her blush was soft as she rubbed her arm, admitting, “I never really learned how to slow dance.”

A gentle smile reached his lips as he stood up, offering his hand, “Just follow my lead.”

She set her hand on his and Leon caught her legs shuffling a bit underneath her dress. When she stood up, she was noticeably shorter before she got on her tiptoes to make it seem she was still wearing them. God was she too endearing. 

The lights had dimmed down, leaving the soft glow only on the dance floor when he led her to the centre of it. The floors felt cold beneath her toes but it slipped her mind when Leon stood in front of her.

With the hand he was leading her, he put it on his shoulder before grabbing her other. His free hand went to her waist, slowly moving her and himself to the melodic song. With his azures on her, hers were on the ground at his feet. 

Faint gasps would escape through her parted lips when she’d accidentally misstep, earning a small laugh from her husband. Leon tugged her close, his hand sliding down to the small of her back whilst caressing her other hand to calm her down.

“What’s wrong?” He asked lowly, his lips brushing her forehead as he spoke.

“I don’t want to mess this up…” She answered, swallowing thickly when she let her eyes dart to the guests, “They’re all watching.”

“Let them watch. You?” Leon released her waist to tilt her chin up with his two fingers, gazing into her eyes, “Keep your eyes on me. Watch me.”

With the lights dimmed, it was only them in the room. 

This all felt like one big dream. Leon never truly thought he’d find someone to settle down with. Chasing after a woman on the run for years was draining him. On any other day, he would’ve enjoyed the chase but with no end game, it bugged him. With the endless assignments from his division to the constant paranoia about any sudden outbreaks, he fully believed that was his whole life.

But then he saw her. 

A certain sunny day in August was all it took to weaken his walls. It was still fresh in his memory, seeing her standing on her lawn with her potted plant and an anxious but excited smile on her face. 

A couple of days later, he counted the constellation of stars adorning her cheeks and nose bridge ever so faintly. Under the pale lights of that neighbourhood, his heart was stolen before he could even realize it. 

It took months to break his walls down but honestly, maybe they were already crumbling for her. Days and days later, she entered his bubble, soaked to the bone from the rain storm. It was unintentional, but since then, Leon was more than willing to pull her soso close till there was no space in between.

He was in denial for the longest time, filled with guilt of lost opportunities when she slipped through his fingers into the endless void. Seeing her again spread something hot throughout his chest. Kissing her for the first time was forever embedded into his core memory. 

The girl he met on that day was finally his, and his only. He was never planning on letting that go.

The Han brother narrowed his eyes a little at the dancing couple before leaning towards his tearful mother, muttering, “Is it just me or did she get shorter?”

Sena blinked at him from behind her napkin, looking back at So Ah. She was clearly shorter than her previous height. 

“That girl,” She groaned, shaking her head, “She must’ve taken off her heels again.”

Jaehyun snickered, taking a sip of his wine with a subtle shrug, “She never liked them anyway.”

“It’s fine, my dear.” Michael grasped Sena’s hand, patting it gently with a tender look, “She still looks like our pretty little angel.

Jaehyun tore his eyes away from his parents and to his side at the empty chair. Despite it being a long while since she was gone, the Hans couldn’t help but reserve an extra chair. It was where Minji was supposed to sit. 

A sad smile reached his lips, his heart hurting at the realization that she wasn’t around to witness the wedding. Without his eldest sister around, who he was supposed to make jokes to about the event?

He could only pray and hope that she was in a much better place – but in his own selfish ways, he preferred her with the family.

Back to the main show, So Ah gazed up at Leon with such adoration that her pupils would’ve dilated into hearts and comical pink bubbly hearts popped above her head. 

Leon grinned down at her, releasing her hand to set it on her waist. With both hands, he lifted her up, twirling them around. A gasp of surprise emitted from her when her feet were no longer touching the ground. Her hands shot to his shoulders, giggling childishly at being up in the air. 

By the time he set her down, the song had ended and Leon pulled her close to kiss her deeply – distracting her from the applause from the guests. 

Piers grumbled, giving Chris twenty dollars reluctantly, “I didn’t know he’d be that extra.”

Chris took the money with a tilted smile, “It’s his wedding, what did you expect?”

So Ah pulled away from the kiss with a soft smile, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Leon returned the smile, brushing her strand of hair behind her ear.

“You surprised me.”

“With that spin at the end?”

“Yeah, but the music too,” She giggled, “I didn’t know you knew some slow songs. I fully assumed Backstreet Boys or something.”

Leon shrugged with a tick of his head, a cheeky grin coming to his lips as he nodded at the DJ, “Well…”

So Ah blinked at the new but familiar music playing, giving Leon an incredulous look, “You didn’t.”

Backstreet’s back, alright!

Leon tugged her close, winking at her as several guests got out of their seats to join the dance floor, “Oh, but I did.”

✠

“Hey, Leon! So Ah!”

Leon looked away from his wife who was tugging and fixing the plants on their table where the eaten cake was. She followed suit, turning to find Chris approaching them with a gorgeous girl in hand.

“I’d like you to meet someone. This is Rose.” Chris introduced the girl who already had a gentle smile on her lips.

Her brown hair was neatly curled and pulled over to her shoulder. The dress she wore was a pretty lilac colour with low and sheer sleeves, ending on a sweetheart neckline. It was long, draping over her form just perfectly.

“Nice to meet you.” Leon shook her hand with a kind smile. 

So Ah went second, a timid look on her face as she was always shy about meeting new people, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

Her eyes snapped to the gorgeous silver ring around her finger with a beautiful green gem in the middle. It took her mind a couple of seconds when she connected the dots, finding a similar ring band on Chris’ finger.

“It’s nice to meet both of you too, finally.” Rose nudged Chris’ side playfully, “He rarely lets me meet his friends.”

So Ah and Leon shared a look, knowing the other have noticed the rings. 

“I let you meet my friends,” Chris defended, “Just not these kinds of friends.”

Rose rolled her eyes, a faint smile on her face as she spoke, “He thinks it’ll keep me safe or whatnot – as if I don’t know what you do for a living.”

“The further away you are from this part of the world, the better.” Chris wrapped an arm around her waist with a tender look on his face.

“Say,” Leon cleared his throat, nodding his head at their hands, “Is there something you’re not telling us?”

The couple looked down at their rings in unison then at each other before Chris piped up, “We all gotta tie the knot in the end.”

“No way!” So Ah gasped, surprised, “When did you even do the wedding?!”

Chris barely shrugged, “Back in 2009. It was a small wedding within the family – we didn’t want it too big.”

His wife snorted, “Small wedding.”

He was never the kind to talk much about his personal life, so it didn’t come much of a shock to know that he was married. The fact he never showed it, even for just a second on any day, was what surprised her the most.

Rose showed her ring with a grin, “Goodbye, Rose Guidry and hello, Rose Redfield”

Another alarm rang in the Han girl’s head. She heard that name before; Guidry. It rang numerous bells at the memory. It was only one day when she was young – she had long forgotten about it.

“Wait… Guidry?” So Ah took a step forward, realization slowly washing over her, “We’ve met before, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, we did.” Rose answered, nodding as she laughed, “I was wondering when you were going to remember me.”

Leon furrowed his brows, “You two know each other?”

“Yeah!” So Ah beamed at the memory, “My parents initially wanted me to study in, uh… What was it called?” She turned to Rose for help.

“Georgetown University,” The girl added, “It’s in DC.”

“That’s it! My parents changed their mind and took me back to Seoul.” So Ah snapped her finger before letting out a happy sigh, “It’s been so long!”

“It’s a very beautiful university. It honestly made me a bit sad when you left.” Rose commented with a subtle pout, “What changed their mind? Should I have shown them around too?”

“Well…” So Ah trailed away with a nervous giggle, darting her eyes to Chris for a split second who only shook his head.

Okay, right.

“It was a family emergency, nothing serious.” She resorted to saying, hiding every single thing that had gone wrong.

Chris didn’t want Rose to be involved with the BOWs? Then he got it.

“Ah, well, it would’ve been fun.” Rose smiled, “I think you would’ve really liked it there – I could’ve shown you around town too!”

“Maybe next time,” So Ah laughed before leaning against Leon, earning a tilted grin and an arm around her waist, “We’ve got a trip planned in a few days and then it’s back to work.”

Rose blinked, “Oh? Where are you going?”

“Hawaii.” Leon answered, sighing as if exhausted, “Not by choice but she always wanted to visit it, so…”

“Hey! You came to me all excited first!”

“No, I didn’t.” Leon pinched her side playfully.

Chris gave Rose a knowing look, “Told you they’re like children.”

“I think it’s endearing!” Rose shot back and she faced So Ah, “We spent our honeymoon in this gorgeous cabin in Montana and he was in charge of chopping wood. Every day, I’d hear him whining about splinters. Every. Day.”

“I never whined. I was complaining.” Chris corrected. 

“Should’ve worn gloves.”

“I did.”

“Fingerless ones don’t do crap.”

So Ah gasped faintly, “That’s what I always tell Leon!”

As the two girls laughed, Chris and Leon looked at each other, almost exasperatedly. 

Chris sighed, his hand going to Rose’, “We’ll leave you two to your cake. I believe my wife owes me a dance.”

So Ah giggled, “It was nice to meet you again!”

“It was!” Rose exclaimed as Chris began pulling her away, “Congratulations on the beautiful wedding, by the way!”

Leon hummed as his wife waved at the woman, turning to So Ah, “I can’t decide whether I’ve met her before or maybe I’m a bit too tipsy.”

“Well, did you ever go to that uni?” So Ah asked, going back to pick up her drink from the table.

Leon thought about it, leaning one hand on the table with furrowed brows, “Maybe. I’ve been to a lot of places – but mostly for the DSO.”

So Ah blinked at him as she took a sip and he sighed, shaking his head and looking at the cake. With one finger, he scooped some of the whipped cream up and mindlessly stuck it into his mouth. All while she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the gesture.

It was strangely enticing. 

“Mmh, best dessert.” Leon smacked his lips with a smirk easing into his lips, having noticed her gaze, “Right after you.”

Her cheeks turned rosier, heat filling up her chest and lower stomach before she smacked his arm.

“Leon, behave!”

“Fine, I’ll save it till tonight.”

✠

A blur of red went past her peripheral vision, freezing the bride in her spot. The words from one of her family members went deaf to her ears, eyes finding Leon looking at her. He too saw the colour. While many of the guests could be wearing red, something about that shade was raising suspicions. 

“And then–”

“Excuse me,” So Ah interrupted with a polite smile, “Just for a moment.”

Picking up her dress, she basically skipped out of the venue – which was massive. She was vaguely aware of Leon following her as she stood out in the hallway, turning her head left and right. Again, she saw something red turn the corner and she followed it. The shining clean floors felt cold under her feet, having left her heels behind once again.

The breeze along with the calming scent of the garden surrounded her, grass tickling her skin once she stopped. 

So Ah breathed softly, her eyes widening slightly at the woman in front of her, “Ada?”

There she stood; the infamous lady in the red dress. The dark wine maxi gown would’ve made her stand out had she mingled with the guests. It featured a halter neckline with the side and back exposed, held up by thin straps. 

Of course, an Ada dress wasn’t an Ada dress without the long side split reaching her upper thighs. 

A tilted smile appeared across her redred lips, “Beautiful dress, Han – or should I say, Mrs Kennedy?”

The Han girl giggled bashfully, “Well… Still a Han if we’re talking about this country’s laws.”

Similarly to her parents, Sena didn’t change her surname and kept it Kim when she married Han Michael. Besides, it saved a lot of time with changing documents. 

Did So Ah have the choice to change her surname? Yeah.

But was she?

“Still,” Ada gave her a knowing look, “Feels freeing from Han, doesn’t it?”

She did think about it. Having spent most of her life in her home country, it was a little difficult to come to a decision. 

Leon jogged to a stop beside So Ah, brows already knitting in the middle, confused, “Ada? What are you doing here?”

Ada pulled out an invitation card from the pouch she had hidden under her dress’ split with a subtle pout, “I got invited though I’m feeling a bit sad to have missed the main event.”

Her sultry eyes turned to Leon’s, “Nice spinning at the end there.”

Leon scoffed, opening his mouth to retort but So Ah butted in, “Can you say longer? I’d love it if you could.”

Ada hummed thoughtfully, eyeing the fancy card and flipping it with her two fingers. It was clear she had already made her choice. 

“Hm, sorry, Han – I would but I’m on a tight schedule.” 

“Nothing that involves BOWs I hope?” Leon raised a brow, folding his arms against his chest.

He earned a chuckle but she didn’t answer. A rumbling sound seemed to grow louder and nearer and So Ah gasped under her breath at the helicopter showing up. She brought up her arm to shield her face from the rushing wind, feeling a hand press against the small of her back when she stumbled.

A ladder dropped down, swinging next to Ada and she grabbed onto it, climbing the first step. Leon narrowed his eyes at her under the wind.

“I’ve left a little gift in your room! I think you’ll love it,” Ada called out over the sound of the propellers, a sly grin on her lips, “See you around, you two!”

The helicopter went higher and away, leaving them behind. So Ah lowered her arm, staring up at the distant helicopter with a subtle not surprised tick of her head.

“She never changes, does she?” Leon shook his head with a huff.

“It would’ve been weird if she actually stayed.” The girl added.

They laughed together at that. So Ah trailed her eyes up at Leon with a curious look and he returned it. 

✠

The door to her room burst wide open, revealing a panting married couple. Right on the vanity was a small gift box with royal red wrapping and next to it was a potted plant with a similar coloured bow wrapped around it. 

So Ah walked up to her vanity first, gazing at the plant and picking it up gently to observe it up close. The smell of the fresh bunch of leaves eased her up. A certain memory made its way to her head, making her giggle at the small card attached to it; Leon.

“It’s for you.” She offered it to Leon who instantly recognized the plant, rolling his eyes.

“When is anyone gonna listen to me?” He grumbled, taking the potted Fittonia though his blues grew soft, “I’m not a plant person – especially for this dramatic kind.”

So Ah patted his shoulder with a giggle, “It’s the gesture that matters, Leon.”

She returned her attention to the box, carefully untying it as Leon stared at the plant with a suspicious look on his face. Once the wrapping fell off, she opened the lid and her eyes widened, freezing.

Leon noticed her tensing, looking at her then he darted his eyes down, “What is it?”

He set the plant aside when she reached inside to pull out the picture. It was taken at the Watergate Hotel gala; after six months of being apart. 

Her heart melted at how young both of them looked, standing next to each other for the photo. Leon had his arm around her waist, settling his hand on her hip with his usual cheeky smirk. The girl was leaning towards him with a softer smile, her cheeks tinted red at the close proximity and her hands holding onto a single lilac anemone. 

Back then, Leon not-so-sneakily took the flower out of the many assorted bouquets around and gave it to her.

A faint giggle emitted through her lips, truly thinking this photograph was long gone. Leon couldn’t help but smile, wrapping his arms around her torso from behind  His lips brushed the crown of her head. A gentle kiss.

“Maybe not all her gifts are strange.” Leon mumbled against her hair, his smile widening when he felt her lean against him and he moved his head so it was resting next to hers.

“Maybe.” She repeated as she reached for his arm to grasp onto him, flipping the picture around to see the writing on the back.

Transparency leads to intimacy in marriage, don’t you agree? X

In an instant, her whole body stilled and the picture almost slipped from her fingers. The tracker within her nape blinked at the indirect mention, sending her skin crawling with goosebumps. 

Leon leaned down a bit to read the text, scoffing in disbelief, “Yep. Never changes. Always so vague.”

She chuckled at that, setting the picture down as a feeble attempt to calm her nerves. There was barely a thing that can be hidden from Ada. She had sources anywhere and from anyone – of course, she knew about the chip.

So Ah may not trust her that much because really, you can never trust a Wong, but she trusted her enough to not say a word. Judging from the little message she left behind, she was leaving it up to the Han girl to clean up her own mess. 

She turned around to face Leon, hands reaching up to fix his tie, “Mhm, she’s as mysterious as one can get.”

Leon’s lips twitched, gazing down at her, “Penny for your thoughts?”

She blinked, looking up at him and smiled softly, “Just you, only you.”

Her hand felt delicate on his cheek and he found himself leaning against it, grasping her hand to keep it there. A lovelove glint was in his azures, making them seem bluer. 

“Funny, I can tell you what’s on my mind, but it’s better if I show it.” His voice dropped a tone, nodding his head at the circular beige couch.

Heat rushed to her cheeks as she grew flustered, catching on. Instead, she tilted her head to the side, “Uhm, I think it’s better if I show you later at home.”

It was his turn to be intrigued, asking, “Show me what?”

“What’s under this dress,” She mumbled, dusting away invisible dirt off of his blazer whilst attempting to be seductive, "You know how Minx's Body is."

His eyes boggled open, already darting down to her gown as if he'd see what was underneath. With her dress being off-shoulder, the only thing he could assume was that whatever was under didn't have straps.

A low groan came from him, narrowing his eyes a bit at her teasing, "Jesus Christ, sweetheart."

She laughed shyly under his intense gaze, glancing over at the clock on her vanity, "Only two more hours left."

Leon let out an exasperated grumble, "Could just send them home now–"

"Leon!" So Ah gasped, interrupting him but he continued.

"So I could have my way with you."

Did he have to be so blunt about it?

He wasn't even trying to be seductive but it was just tempting at this point. Still, she stood her ground.

"We won't end the reception early just because you're too excited to go home." She practically scolded, making him shrug lazily with an equally lazy smirk.

"Can't help it," His hands went down to her waist, pulling her close with his lips barely brushing hers, "You look goddamn stunning, did I ever tell you that?"

Her blushing intensified, her heart rattling at his not-so-subtle enticing ministration. A loving and timid smile reached her lips.

"Maybe like ten times." She whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He chuckled lowly, nose bumping against hers as he maintained eye contact, "I'll keep saying it ten more times then."

Okay, he knew what he was doing. So Ah reluctantly pulled herself away from his arms, holding his hand instead when he reached out to her with a surprised look on his face.

"Later, Leon." She reminded, leading him out of the room before she'd do something that would embarrass her forever.

Leon scoffed light-heartedly, firming up his grasp on her hand, "You're gonna drive me crazy."

"Well, better get used to it." She cheekily shot back, looking at him over her shoulder, "We're married now."

Leon smiled toothily at this, "Yeah, we are."

He sped up to be next to her, pulling her hand up to plant a kiss on the ring. Her whole soul melted at the intimacy and the love in his blueblue eyes when he finished.

"Best decision of my life."

[withlovemuffin]

Review: Jane Eyre, 1973, starring Michael Jayston and Sorcha Cusack

@thatscarletflycatcher suggested this adaptation to me, because she knows I love silly man Mr Rochester, my poor little meow, my court jester of a man. I wasn’t disappointed one whit- indeed, I was actually pleasantly surprised! I’m usually rather skeptical of older adaptations, but this one was a banger.

Let’s get into it!

- small Jane: I adored her so, so much. It felt accurate to her character, and I do believe she’s probably one of my top favorite Young Janes, right up there with Georgie Henley.

- Aunt Reed was, per usual, absolutely horrendous! I loved, as far as adapting choices go, that she was still rather pretty, as she’s described in the book, though perhaps not as young as intended.

- Something about John Reed just felt about right. In most adaptations, he’s just positively awful, but in this one, you can see his duality- the thinly veiled disrespect in his “charm” to his mother, and his blatant disrespect towards others, especially Jane. The wine chugging was a rather nice touch, considering he dies later for his undisciplined habits.

- Mr Brocklehurst was also awful, 10/10 for villainry, loved how he just hands Jane a pamphlet and goes “this tells of naughty naughty children who lie and the various ways that they gruesomely die, happy reading!” bonus points for the scene after the typhus epidemic starts at Lowood where the two gentlemen approach him and say, in a paraphrase, “we’ve noticed you’re a little unsympathetic cunt, so we decided to suggest for you to form a committee!”

- oh, Miss Temple is a dream here. She’s marvelous. I loved her little ways of displaying affection to her pupils, and how she’d make sure to soften any blows from the others.

- Now- Helen. By far, probably my favorite Helen. She was actually sweet and wise and kind. Sometimes I get from the other adaptations that Helen didn’t actually like Jane all that much, but this one took the time to establish “no, they’re friends, absolutely friends.”

- I have so much love for Sorcha Cusak as Jane Eyre. She reminds me a lot of Mia Wasikowska, as far as her sort of unconventional attractiveness, and her softness. I won’t say I exactly prefer her to Ruth Wilson, but she’s definitely in my top Janes. I do, however, like her proposal speech much more than Ruth’s. I love Ruth’s, to be sure, but Sorcha’s feels like steel below silk.

- I think 1973’s Adele is probably by far my favorite. She was genuinely so sweet and adorable. I can’t say much about her, because she didn’t get terribly much screen time.

- Mrs Fairfax: 10/10 would adopt her as an aunt

- Now- my favorite. Michael Jayston’s performance as Mr Rochester is quite unlike any other I’ve ever seen. His attractiveness isn’t quite in his face as much as on his face. His charisma and his facial posture is just charming, the way he quirks his lips at the corners when he’s teasing or verbally sparring with Jane. Completely unmatched! I find it hard to compare him to Toby Stephens because Toby was cast for a purpose, and it was to take “unconventionally attractive” and make it his bitch, and just completely ooze sexuality, regardless of being regarded as an “ugly man.” (get a pair of glasses, you idiots.) Michael Jayston, however, makes Rochester a silly yet passionate man, and hardly biting. I also love that they included him in drag- absolutely wonderful. And the eyeliner was a paid actor.

- The other half of the budget went into finding the biggest dog on earth to play Pilot, I love him.

- I’m not completely sure how I felt about Bertha. I do appreciate that they didn’t try to make her or overstate that she was “exotic” like 2006 did. I think they went the right route by making her seem pathetic- her catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror when she tears Jane’s veil, her wailing about how Rochester said he’d take her home, etc. I almost felt bad for her, but also another portion of the budget went into the audio quality of her laugh wafting throughout Thornfield.

- I almost forgot- I adored this Blanche. So biting! So beautiful! She’s actually dark headed and not just perpetuating the mean blonde queen bee role!

- My dear, dear St John- you are not 29, you are 30 going on 68. Seriously, I’ve never seen a man so confusing looking. He was handsome, but in like a slight uncanny way.

- I also loved Diana and Mary so much, so so pretty and sweet. 10/10, would collapse on their porch

- Honorable Hannah mention, i feel like she and Mrs fairfax would get on like a house on fire (oops, too soon?)

Well, there we have it! My review of 1973- I was absolutely and thoroughly charmed. Thank you, to my friend, for allowing me to commentate in her DMs, maybe one day I’ll post screenshots and snippets of it, or she can if she so pleases XD

[away-ward]

Make No Apologies, part 2

<part 1 | part 3>>>

Master List

Will

2 Years Later

Damon called the meeting, but of course he was the last to arrive, after refusing to tell us what it was about. He gathered us at his offices, in the conference room that was hardly ever used because Damon hated going to meetings. He'd rather work alone in the field or his shop than talk to his clients. That’s what Alex is for, he said. To please.  

I leaned over to Kai. “Do you know why we’re here?”  

He shrugged, scrolling through his phone. “As long as it’s not another plan for my wife, I don’t really care.”  

Banks was rocking it, somehow managing the business Gabriel left her and walking the political path Damon set her on. The Senator helped where he could, but Banks was always a natural.   

“If it was about the women, we’d be a St. Killian’s,” I said. That’s where we handled that side of our life. I swung back and forth in a wide arc in the cushy office chair. “This is something else.”  

Kai looked to the side, eyeing my fidgeting. Blackchurch had changed me. My restless energy was put into more productive things, and old habits were replaced with new ones. These days, I was healthier, sharper, quicker. Steadier.  

Usually.  

“Maybe it’s an idea for Devil’s Night,” I continued when neither offered any other suggestions.  

There was something in the air today that reminded me of old times. All my anxious energy twisted inside me, making me want things I hadn’t thought about in ages.  

 “I don’t know,” Kai said, returning to his phone.  

I swiped a bottle of water from the center of the table, taking a swig. Nodding to Michael, seated across from us, I asked, “You can’t feel it?”  

“All I feel is your leg vibrating under the table,” Michael replied. “Go outside and have a smoke.”  

Kai laughed under his breath. Michael hated it when we smoked around him; he especially hated that we supplied Rika with packs of cancer sticks. If he was encouraging my bad behavior so early in the morning, we were indeed at the end times.  

Damon appeared then, looking fresh despite having three toddlers at home. He stood at the front of the room, hands in his suit pockets.  

“Finally,” I said.  

He smirked at me. “Anxious to get going, are we? What, got a hot date later.”  

I flipped him off. Yeah, they were all married with children, and I’d sworn off women as a vice. So what? I don’t need it right now. I had my crew, my work, and the town. For the first time in my life, I woke every day knowing exactly what I was doing and why I was doing it.   

D knew I had plans, and what I was waiting for.  

It wasn’t the right time for it. Yet.  

“Enough,” Michael intervened as I shot Damon a dirty look. “What are we doing here, Damon?”  

“Since you asked so nicely, Mr. Fane,” Damon started, smiling at Michael's glare, “we’re going to be breaking ground on a new project. I have the blueprint, but I want the families to fund the build.”  

“So, why are we here?” Kai asked. “Just pull the funding.”  

I narrowed my eyes. “He’s keeping secrets.”  

The three of us stared him down while he grinned, looking extremely pleased with himself. “I’m bringing in a design team to make it perfect.”  

“From outside the town? No way. All work stays in-house. You know that.” Kai scoffed. 

He nodded in agreement. “I couldn’t agree more. I think you’ll be happy with my pick.”  

The lower murmur of voices entered the building, moving toward us as the receptionist at the front directed them back. The body grew taunt with a new wave of anxiety, and even before I could see them, I knew.  

A group of five shuffled into the room, the leader stepping forward to shake Damon’s hands. He was a tall man, about my height, and young but not as young as us, but I recognized him immediately. My veins filled with fire as images of them seated across from each other at a small table came forward, talking as if no one else were in the room. I got drunk after that and went to the address my contact at the Senator’s office had gotten for me.  

And after that...   

Behind him, were two men, one younger and one slightly older, and a blonde woman with a broad smile that showed her gums. Trying to use them as a shield was her. Emory Scott. I could see her clearly, despite her attempts to hide herself.   

I stood, drawing the attention of the room. My chest felt heavier with each breath.  

“Will?” Damon asked though he knew exactly what he’d done.  

The man clapped his hands together. “Well, let me introduce you to my team, and then we can get started on the design plans.”  

He eyed me specifically since I was the only other one standing. Kai discreetly kicked my ankle under the table, drawing my attention off her. I lowered into the chair, even though all I wanted to do was go over there a grab her.   

Shake her. Run with her. Kiss her. Strangle her.   

This is why it wasn’t the right time. I knew what I was doing in all areas of my life, except for her.   

Once I was seated, Michael told them we were ready to continue. Damon stepped aside, giving them the floor to spread out. The result left her exposed to me, to us. I could feel Michael and Kai’s attention on me, waiting for my next move. Now that we knew what Damon was up to, whatever that man said didn’t matter.   

All that mattered was Emmy Scott had returned to Thunder Bay, and we were in the best position to make it hurt.   

“And I’m sure you are familiar with Emory,” the man said, waving a hand to encourage her forward. “I hear she left quite an impact on the town before she graduated. An arbor, was it?”  

“Gazebo,” she corrected, eyes flickering up to him and back down.  

I ran my tongue on the back of my bottom lip. It felt like a hundred ants marched under my skin, and I was convinced she was the only one who could make it stop. I needed to touch her, feel her in my hands. But of course, she’d come prepared for me. Or, at least, she probably thought she did something there, wearing black pants and a tight burgundy top that reached over her collarbones. Did she believe covering every inch of her body would stop me?   

“Right. Well, she’s one of our star designers. I can understand why you requested her to be on the team, Mr. Torrance.”  

Damon shrugged. “We’re a family-oriented town, and the Scott’s have been here for generations.” Em rolled her eyes behind everyone like she had forgotten where she was. “It only seemed right, considering the project and all.”  

That caught her attention. She leaned forward to look at Damon, barely holding back her disdain as she asked, “And what is the project?”  

Damon produced a skinny matte black tube with the seal of his design firm. I’d seen them before. He kept his blueprints and plans in them. Uncapping it, he tapped the rolled papers until they stuck out halfway. Holding them out to her, Emory stared as if he were offering her a dead fish instead.  

Damon tsk'd, taking them back to unroll himself. “Unfortunately, Emory’s gazebo was the victim of some drunk teenager’s antics and burned to the ground several years ago.”  

“Oh, no,” the blonde woman, Elise, gasped, turning to Em with sad eyes.   

Em exhaled heavily through her nose, tightening her lips. She glared at Damon instead of answering. And then at me.  

Whoops, I chuckled, running my hand over my mouth to hide the grin. I used to feel guilty. Now I know she deserved it.   

“But by a strange turn of events, I found these.” The papers lay flat on the table in front of us, and everyone except Emory, Damon, and I leaned forward to look. Damon and Emory because they were too busy looking at each other, and I looked at them.  

What’s going on there?  

“You want to build another gazebo?” The designer asked. Never taking his eyes off the page, he tilted his head in Em's direction. “This looks like one of your designs.”  

Emory shifted her weight, hedging momentarily before admitting, “It’s from high school. We can come up with something better.”  

“This is beautiful, Em. Why would we change it,” the younger man said, and Elise nodded in agreement. “You always were a genius, even back then.”  

I glared at him. What was his name? I heard it, but I wasn’t paying attention. Bryan? Byron? Whatever. I didn’t like how his eyes lit up when he complimented her.    

She shook her head. “It’s old. We should come up with something new.”  

“I really like the chandeliers,” the older man said to the lead, ignoring her.  

“The marble, though,” he replied. “It’ll be expensive.”  

“Don’t worry about the cost. This is the perfect way to honor the town.” Michael said. Even though this was Damon’s plan for me, he and Kai were already drawn into the restoration aspect. They were all about keeping Thunder Bay true to itself. I was too. Hence, Coldfield.   

I just needed a minute to process what was happening.  

“I was actually thinking iron,” Damon offered.  

The designer tipped his head in consideration. “Iron will work. Emory, what do you think?”  

Everyone in the room turned to where she lingered by the exit. Forced to step up, she took a deep breath before looking at the plans. Her throat worked with restrained emotion as she examined them.  

But then her shoulders relaxed. An intense expression overtook her face as her eyes moved about the page.   

“Iron would be perfect, actually.” She looked up to Damon with muted respect. “It’s a great idea.”  

No, stop. Don’t look at him like that. 

Damon tipped is chin to accept the compliment.  

The lead designer nodded. “Let’s get to work. We’ll draw up the new plans based on this original and send them over for approval by the end of the day.”  

Michael stood, reaching out for his hand. “Sounds good. My wife’s town mayor, so let me know when you need permits. We’ll get them pushed through.”  

We left after, each of us passing near Emory and getting a good look. She tried to move out of my range when I walked past, refusing to acknowledge me. I was tempted to take her then, but held back, knowing greater opportunities were coming my way. 

/-/-/ 

“Have you figured it out yet?”  

I couldn’t take my eyes off the conference room. I stood on the other side of the glass, a few feet away and out of their line of sight, watching them work. My hands fisted in my suit pockets as Byron set a cup of tea down next to Em, squeezing her shoulder and smiling when she looked up and thanked him. He set another cup next to Elise as if it were an afterthought.  

“I want to hit something,” I told Damon as he took the spot on my right. “I don’t know if it’s me, one of them, or you. But someone is going to get decked.”   

He laughed under his breath. “And here I thought exercise was relaxing you.”  

Working out was one of the few things I had left to clear my mind. This desire wasn’t that. This was rage. At her for being here, at Damon for bringing her, at me for not being ready.  

At fucking Byron, who kept nudging and smiling at her like a puppy every time she said so much as a single word.  

Stupid boy, I thought. You have no idea. She’ll eat you alive for fun and call it survival.  

“What am I supposed to have figured out?”  

“Her punishment.”  

After we got to the bottom of it, I told them about Em’s involvement in our arrests. It was all Evans Crist’s plan, and Em was only one of the many layers he used to hide his involvement. I wasn't mad about what she did any longer. My time at Blackchurch had offered some clarity in that. I knew it was what she had to do. It wasn’t personal for her.   

Her refusal to admit the truth when she had the chance was personal.  

Her mistrust in me – that was personal. And undeserved.  

Giving her attention to other people, when I'm the one that suffered for touching her - that was personal

I could find a reason to forgive if she had tried to explain – even once, even if I wouldn’t listen. Her withholding herself from me made it personal.  

If she wants her pride, fine. I intend to bury her with it.  

I sucked in a breath when Emory rose from her seat at the table. She looked nothing like the kid I saw before leaving for college. Her long chocolate hair was tamed into a slick-backed ponytail. Her skin was still golden but brighter and clearer than before. Radiant.   

God, I wanted to soak in it.  

So did Byron, too, apparently, because his gaze trailed after her. At least he respected her enough not to openly stare at her ass as she left.   

She reached the hall outside the conference before she saw me and Damon standing a few feet away, observing her. Her cheeks went rosy under the gold, and I remembered that about her, too.   

She’s still beautiful to me, despite knowing what she’s done.  

Despite not knowing what she’s done.   

“Bathroom?” she asked. Her voice tried for neutral, but she still looked like she was about to bolt. She was practically quaking in her sneakers.  

Damon nodded down the hall in the opposite direction.   

She looked at us a second longer, eyes dark and haunting behind the black frames, before turning her back to me. I licked my lips.   

“You better make your move,” Damon warned. “You’re not the only one wanting a piece of that.”  

I snorted. So, he noticed Byron too. “I’m not worried about that kid.” I rolled my shoulders, hating how tense I was. What I needed was to punch something and then hit the sauna.

“I’m not talking about the kid.”  

Confused, I turned to check in with him. He nodded, gazing into the room but not at the dope that tried to charm her. The lead designer. The one that made me hate her for moving on.  

Brett Hartley. I’d looked into him and couldn’t find any evidence that proved he was anything other than a senior designer and mentor.  

“Him?” I asked, making sure we were talking about the same thing.   

“He doesn’t look at her,” Damon said knowingly, reading the man in ways I couldn’t, “even when he’s talking to her.”  

My breathing picked up as I understood what he was getting at. “And that proves?” I said, not ready for him to say it.   

Emory returned, stopping at the entrance, regarding us with narrowed eyes before stepping back into the room. Everyone looked up except for Brett. She walked behind him, carefully keeping an adequate distance between them, and sat at the opposite end of the table.   

“Yeah,” he laughed. Turning to look at me directly, he leaned in, “They’ve definitely fucked.”  

I squared my shoulders. Cracked my neck. Raised a hand to brace myself on the wall.   

I take it back.

I needed her pretty little neck in my grasp.  

“So,” Damon continued, “make up your mind, but hurry up. Michael and Kai left twenty minutes ago, so I’m guessing I have about five minutes before my phone blows up with calls from the sisterhood of the always in my fucking business.”  

Yeah, I'm sure Rika will have a word or two to through in the mix. Not to mention Winter. There's no escaping it for him.

"Why'd you do it?" He knew I was waiting. He didn't need to jump the gun like this, speeding up my timeline.

He exhaled through his nose as his eyes darkened. "The kids are growing up, Will. I don't want you missing the boat. It's not how I imagined things."

I shook my head. Same story, different day. His idea for our lives trumped the reality, so he took action. I'd kind of thought we'd been through this, but I guess I'm not the only one slow to change.

No mind. Now that Emmy was here, there was no reason to hold back any longer.

"Oh, and D," I called when he began to walk away. He turned back, rubbing his chin with a questioning gaze. "I still remember that night."

It took a second, but his eyes lit up. "Same here."

"I've forgiven you a lot, Brother," I said warmly, letting him get comfortable. When he nodded, I let my voice drop. "But if I find out you touched her, we're going to have a problem. One even Winter won't be able to protect you from."

His expression fell, reverting to it's empty baseline. "Enjoy your gift," he told me in parting.

I grinned, returning my gaze to the room. Happy Devil’s Night to me

/-/-/

part 3>>

[bernadethhabon]

Short story

She's a killer

By: Bernadeth Habon

“I promised you I would do my best to give you what you deserve. This is Emmanuel Frank, your future public servant. Thank you.” A warm round of applause was all I heard after my father’s speech. Now speaking in front of a hundred people is Chris Anderson, my father’s rival. He’s been so eager to get the position away from my father.

An ear-splitting noise woke me from sleeping. It was my mom’s voice. I ran faster to my parents’ room. I open the door, and I see how messy the bed is. I looked around to find my parents. I heard my mom’s voice on the balcony of their room. I don’t know how to feel as I walk on the balcony. I feel like I am walking on thorns. Every step that I took hurt my heart. I am near the glass door and I can hear the sobs of my mother. I see my mother sitting on the floor, holding her face. I slowly lift my head, and I feel like my world just fell apart. Seeing my dad hanging on the floor with a thick rope hugging his neck made me want to scream out until my heart exploded and I fell on my knees. Why did he have to do that?

“Miguel, get up.” I don’t know how I managed to stand up and move to the side of the door as I watched the guys wearing white clothes take my dad. My father’s mother is crying. I look at my grandfather, who doesn’t have any reaction on his face. I can’t see any emotion in his eyes. I know they haven’t had a good relationship since my father was young, but he is always present at my father’s celebration. He started to hate my father when he entered the world of politics. He wanted my father to pursue the field of medicine, but my father followed what he wanted. I shift my gaze to the person who is beside him, Michael. He’s chewing a piece of gum like he’s just watching a nonsense scene. Michael is my father’s younger brother who also hates my father and I don’t know for what reason.

The death of my father has now spread throughout the town. As I heard, some of them also couldn’t believe he did that to himself. And some said that maybe he is depressed and he is just good at hiding it. Even I, I can’t believe he did that. I know something is wrong. Someone did that to him. Why would he do that when he knows that he’s family is just around the house? The only way for me to find out is to ask for help. Maybe I could ask my mom.

Today is my father’s funeral, and a lot of people are here. Chris Anderson is also here. I can’t find any reason why he would attend. I know how much he hates my father for beating him twice. He looked in my direction, and I didn’t like the way he looked at me. “Hey, little man, I am so sorry for your loss.” I just give him a nod. He’s not sincere. Well I don’t care, you can have the position you are aiming for years. My biggest concern now is how I will find out who did this to my father. I have a feeling that this was planned and set up.

I went to my father’s office beside their room. My dad and mom always remind me not to enter this room without their permission because this room is for adults only. I sit down in his swivel chair. Dad and I didn’t used to spend a lot of time together since he’s so passionate and devoted to serving his people. Even with Mom, they don’t spend a lot of time together since my father came home late. They also often fight about money. I often see Mom bring home a man, but I don’t want to give meaning to that, since she told me that they are just close friends. I sighed. I stood up and decided to just roam around. I was about to open the door when a brown box placed at the side of the locker caught my attention. I never used to see that there. I never tried to tamper with my father’s things, but I don’t know what pushed me to open them. My hands are shaking as I hold the lid of the box. I sighed deeply. I felt cold as I saw a pair of gloves, a cutter, and a rope. Why should my father keep these things in his office?

And why did he have these? The gloves are stained with blood. I recall my father’s body and situation that night. I tried to memorize and picture him in my mind when that night happened. Now I remember! My father has a small amount of blood on his arms. It seems like he tried to stop the person. Or did the two of them fight causing a wound to the killer? One thing is for sure, that killer was here when that day happened. What should I do now? I grabbed the box out of the room and put it in my old playhouse. I am still shaking. I still can’t believe someone did that to him.

“Mom, I think we should hire an investigator?” I asked while we were having breakfast. “Stop it, son. Your dad did it. You are making this worse.” I guess I will just go to the police on my own.

I was at school when I received the message from my mom that we would be having our dinner at my grandparents’ house, my father’s family. I go straight to the dining table. I sit on the right side of my mother, facing my grandfather, who still does not have any emotion. I don’t have the guts to open a conversation. I thought a long silence would last until this dinner ended but my grandma ended it by asking me a question about how I was doing. “Fine” that’s the only answer I can give her.

I was almost done eating when my grandfather’s arm caught my attention. He has a wound in his left arm. It is not that big but it is visible. I remember the cutter I have found out to my dad’s office, his wound looks like it was just cut last week because it is still swelling. No, he can’t do that to his child. I don’t want to accuse him but that fact that he hates my father and the wound on his arms?

I am silently watching my grandfather drinking his coffee. Should I tell this to mom? Definitely no, he believes my father did that to himself. My grandfather looked in my direction. I stiffed when he walked in my direction. “You’ve been watching me.” he noticed. I’m not fond of him since he is intimidating and we never had a long conversation, he hates my dad. “So what is it?” I looked at his arms and I know he got what I mean. “Well, I accidentally cut it.” what a lame excuse. “I see.” That’s the only thing I said before I turned my back on him.

I went to my grandmother, who was busy reading a book on the veranda. “Hey, young man.” I smiled at her. “You were there at the pool when Dad did that right?” I saw confusion on her face “Yes.” I sighed. “Where was Grandpa that time when my dad left the pool?” I asked gently. She looks at me in disbelief. I don’t care anymore. I just want justice for my father. “Are you accusing your grandpa?” “I just want to know”. She sighed. “Well, when your father went to the kitchen to get some ice, your mother and your uncle Michael accompanied him. A few seconds later, your grandpa excused himself to go to the comfort room.”. Her eyebrows met as if she realized something. She looks at me with confusion. “I don’t know what took them so long. I remember your mom came back first, but she doesn’t have anything on her hand since they said, they just get some pack of ice. Your mom was calm, but she’s occupied with something else.” I nod. “Who came next after a few minutes was Michael, who seemed lost and occupied as well.” Michael? He never loses his cool. “A few more minutes your grandpa came, he looks-” she gulps like it is so hard for her to continue what she’s about to say. “He looks pale and bothered.” I felt cold as she told me those things.

“Kid, what do you need.” Said the Cops. He’s the one who came to our house before to investigate, but we did not get any update. “I just want an update about the case of my dad.” He looked around and he leans closer. “Kid, the case of your dad is confidential.” “We can’t find any strong evidence. We can’t find any fingerprint on his body to claim that the wound in his arm was made by someone else. So go home.” I was about to turn my back when I remembered something. The gloves! “Wait I have found something in my father’s office that I think we can use as evidence?” He looks around and nods at me.

I am with Officer Mockery at our house. The moment I removed the cover, the box that I was expecting to see was now gone. No. I securely put it here. I looked around hoping that I would find it. “What is wrong, kid?” “The box I was talking about is missing”. “I don’t have time to play with your prank, kid.” “I am not. I swear, I put it here it contains a pair of gloves stained with blood, a small cutter, and a rope,” I told him sincerely. It seems like he’s convinced, unlike what he showed me a while ago. “who is your suspect, then?” he asked. “Should I trust you?” Why do you think I am helping you?” “I don’t know.” I don’t have the evidence now. “Your father and I are friends” That shocks me. I look at him with disbelief. He just shrugs his shoulder. Yeah, now I know. Every campaign my dad attended, he was there.

“Your suspect is your grandfather? How?” I told him all about why my suspect was my grandfather. I am here at my father’s family house. Mom wants me to give these flowers to my grandma. I know it is bad to eavesdrop but I have to. “Just make sure no one will know about what I did.” What? I felt cold as I heard their conversation. So he did it? He turns his back to me. He looks shocks as he sees me. “You killed my dad.” “I did not.” “I heard you. Your wounds, you get that from our house, right? You hate my dad.” He’s jaw clenched as he watches me. “You are accusing me, Miguel. I did not do it. I got my wound because I did it on purpose. What you heard is not about your dad it is about me. I am also hurt by what happened to him. I have also issues on myself to deal with, that’s why I need to cut my arm.” I saw a tear fall in his eyes. I saw longing, pain, and regret. So did my father do that? Maybe I just don’t know him well.

My mom is not here again. I went upstairs to their room. I entered the balcony. The last time I went here was when the incident happened. I sat on the floor. I don’t know how many minutes I spent here. The sun is setting. I stood up and decided to go down but as I walked, I felt something on my foot. I went to see it. It is an earring. This one is familiar. I used to see this with someone. Right! This belongs to Michael. I remember what my grandma told me when I asked her. Is he the one who did it? He owns it. I looked at it. As I remember, Michael did not stand here at this location. He only stands beside the glass door. Did he? I don’t want to accuse someone again.

The next morning, I went to the kitchen to find my mom, but she was not still there. Did she come home? Or did she leave early? Something is wrong with her. I rarely see her at home. I was about to go back to my room when I heard a knock. It’s not mom, she has her keys. I go to the door and open it. “Hey there, nephew. Mom wants me to give you this. Is your mom there?” He shows me a Tupperware filled with food. I didn’t answer his question I just stared at him. “Hey, are you listening?” “Why do you hate my dad?” instead I asked. He smiled. “Because he’s the favorite of my dad?” He said sarcastically. “May I come in?” I let him come in. I want to clear things up if he knows something and why his earring is on the balcony. “So your mom is not here.” “I rarely see her at home.” “I see.” I just stared at him. “What is your problem? If looks could kill, I am not breathing right now.” It’s a joke, I know, but instead of answering him, I show him, his earring. His smile fades. “This is yours, right?” His silence confirms that this is his. “I found it on the balcony right where my dad ended his life. It is impossible that you two have the same earring since he’s not fond of these things.” He’s just looking intently at the earring I am holding. “Did you kill my dad?” his eyes from the earing now went on my eyes. “I know you two don’t have a good relationship, but he never despises you for hating him.” He sighed. “That is mine.” What he said made me want to punch his face. “But it doesn’t mean I am the one who did that.” “Can you at least tell the truth, even just once?” He looked at me seriously. “I hated him for being nice to me.” His eyes said it all. “That earing is mine, but I am not the one who did that to him. I know he will not, and he can’t do that. I may despise him, but I will never do that” “That night, you go with him to get a pack of ice, right? Then why did you come back without him.? That question made his eyebrows meet together. “Your mom said that they can handle it. She said instead of helping them, I can just go and get some wine from the cabinet. So I did. The reason what took me so long is because of that.” Pointing his picture at the wall. It was me when I was playing soccer. I didn’t know he was there. That competition is one of the most important parts of my life. I played knowing that no one would come, but he was there.” I sighed. Maybe Dad did it. I should start accepting it now.

It is a new morning, and I don’t dare to get up. I sighed. I got up from bed and went to my window. I looked around and sadly smiled. I was about to close the door when a familiar figure caught my eye. It is my mom. Based on where she was standing, she just went to the backyard, but what caught my attention was what she was holding on to. It’s the box that I hide. Why did she have that? Did she know?

I did not waste any time. I went down. “Mom.” She turns to face me. At first, she was shocked but added after a second. “You awake.” That’s the box. “What is that?” “Oh, it is just an old toy of yours. I’m going to donate it.” “Can I see?” “No need, these toys were your least favorite.” “Let me help you then.” I did not wait for her response. I held her arm and made her jump. “What is wrong?” “nothing.” I looked at her intently. Something is wrong with her. Michael’s last word last night popped into my mind. “Months ago, I gave that earring to your mother because she asked me to.” I wasn’t able to process that last night, but it’s clear. There’s only one thing to find out. I show her the earrings. “I just want to ask, is this yours?” She looked at it. “oh, yes. I’ve been looking at that. Maybe I just misplaced it. Thank you.” I don’t know how to feel. It’s hers! No. No. She can’t. “I will go now.” I let her. My hands are shaking. Maybe, for the third time, I am wrong. Please, no, she can’t. What brought my senses back was the ring of my phone. It is Officer Mockery. Despite the nervousness I feel, I answer it. “I found out something. Maybe it’s late, but I just got the report on your dad’s case. They found a hair on his shirt. So remember when I asked you to get a hair from the comb of your mom? The result is positive. It was your mom.” I remember when Mom said she never touched Dad the moment she saw Dad hanging. I fell to my knees on the ground. So it’s confirmed. But why? She’s a killer. My mother is a killer.

[thinkingmystic]

Pricey truth

I was so happy to see that Good Omens has been renewed for a third (and final) season. I’d prefer three good seasons to four seasons where you wish the last two hadn’t happened (cough Sherlock cough), and I’m curious to see how dear Crowley and Aziraphale end up. 

How I envy the young, who get to see their version of SuperWhoLock actually get some action, whereas all the actual SuperWhoLocks got was a lot of flack for daring to interpret obviously queer storylines as queer. After all these years (it was the tenth anniversary of some Sherlock season recently), I still hold a special little grudge that we had to settle for subtext. But, with difficulty, I digress! 

I have such a soft spot for Aziraphale, because 1) Michael Sheen is adorable and 2) Aziraphale reminds me of myself. His decision at the end of the second season? I understood it perfectly. Like him, I tried (and failed) to change the system (institutional religion) from within. For my trouble I received a prodigious amount of trauma. I haven’t been able to set foot in a church in years, and Lord if I didn’t try to love the institution as best I could.

In retrospect, I wasn’t just trying to change the institution from the inside - wasn’t just trying to take the love of God and remove the ts and cs happily slapped on by the church for, I fear, the most banal reasons - money and power. I was also trying to change myself. My queer, neurodivergent self. I feel so silly now for having as much faith as I had that the organisation built on the premise of loving people and loving God would also love and accept myself and others like myself. So I see in Aziraphale’s decision my own, taken many years ago: that I would make it work; that surely the grace of God would carry me through.

Reader, it did not. At least, not in the way I was hoping it would. 

How I wish I’d had a Crowley to try to dissuade me. Now I am the Crowley, my own inability to enter a church (the building or the concept) so similar to his actual aversion to holy ground (remember those little jumping steps he did when he went to save Azi in the church?) Asking a few questions - questioning things in general - having an opinion that someone higher up than you doesn’t like? Anathema to the institutional church. 

These two remind me so much of The Hierophant and The Devil cards. Aziraphale embodies the faith and tradition (and faith in tradition) that is The Hierophant. There is a way to do things and there must be a good reason for doing them! says The Hierophant. Yes, there’s wisdom there, but that wisdom is a gateway - not the final destination*. Crowley gets The Devil, not least because this card is a perfect inversion of The Hierophant - notice the similarities in structure (the central figure, the apprentices, the oppressiveness). Crowley is still shackled in his own way to heaven - a kind of bereavement, a resentment - which he deals with by being debonair and pretending not to care. Which makes the ending of the second season all the more poignant - he risks caring, in a very obvious, if doomed, way - and his answer is rejection. 

I understand that perfectly, too. I was never going to get what I was looking for in church - but I wouldn’t have rested until I’d tried. 

The card I’d pick for them as a couple is The Lovers. A rather obvious choice, but: The Lovers echoes The Hierophant and anticipates The Devil: two apprentices, a central figure presiding**. Not just a card about love (although it is that, too) - it’s a card about choice. About choosing to follow your truth beyond what is “accepted”, even if by extension that forces you to reckon with what choices were beyond your control. That’s a path we have to be willing to walk if the truth is at all important to us.

Our truth is (and I’m sure Aziraphale and Crowley’s will be, too). 

As we enter a new year (I’ll write more about that next time), I pose this question to you, dear Reader: What is your truth? Phrased another way, what can’t you bear to lie about any longer? 

---

*I suppose God is the final destination - “The World”, and then as a mirror.

**Our conscience? 

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This was originally posted on my Substack.

[shippingfangirl013]

Getting older sucks.

It’s “I made my first friend in that elementary school classroom,”

And “I used to sit on those swings with my first childhood friend, playing make-believe and talking about the newest movie we wanted to go see,”

It’s “I used to get off the bus with you after school and stay at your house every other night because I didn’t want what my parents were having for dinner,”

It’s “We used to have sleepovers in my room, and I remember that I loved going to your house because it meant playing with our American Girl dolls. We’re in the same family, but I saw you more than half my friends sometimes. I miss seeing you now, even though we only live 10 minutes away, it still feels like the years have crept between us.”

And “We met in 4th grade, but I’ve known you all my life. You knew my first crush and I knew yours. You loved Sam Winchester and I loved Dean. We sat on the benches at recess, reading books about Helen Keller and talking about how excited we were to play the violin next year. Gavin always went on about how he loved some tv show with monsters off of Cartoon Network while we read. You loved One Direction, Harry Styles was your first love, I’m sorry for that fight we had in 7th grade, I was an asshole and I hope you know that I love you, I wish you never dealt with half the shit life has thrown at you, I’m sorry that I was too young to understand how to handle the sinking grief that you went through in 8th grade, I promise you that I would take it all away if I could, I’m sorry for ignoring you when you told me my first serious boyfriend wasn’t actually a nice guy. I should have listened to you. I’m sorry I let him get between us.”

It’s “you were mean to me, but I miss you. We were young, but I don’t think that you’re a bad person anymore. I loved your art and I hope you still create wondrous works. You inspired me to start drawing, and I’m grateful for that. I miss watching Dan and Phil with you, and Michael Clifford will always remind me of you. Thank you for sitting next to me in the classes we had together, I’m glad we had lunch together too, I felt less alone eating crappy high school lunches with you before Spanish class. I hope you’re doing okay, and I know we talk from time to time, but I miss seeing your face.”

And “I loved you. You broke me. I have nothing to say to you for what you did to me, but I remember the way that your freckles danced around your face, curving upwards towards the sun when you smiled that lopsided grin at me. We were young and stupid, and I thought that was what love was. I know that I was mean to you too, and I want you to know that I’m sorry for that. I wanted forever with you, I didn’t even know you, I loved you, but even the brightest blaze of fire can turn cold in the dampened wet of winter.”

It’s “I met you in college, but you are someone who has never hurt me. Your laughter is like the musical notes you play on the flute, you are sharp and witty and I’d go to the ends of the world with you, only if you wanted to. We survived freshman year together. You handed me Kleenex at 3 am and held my hair back when I got too drunk. You walked me home with some of our friends, and you asked me to look at a magazine after the party and I said that there were people dancing on a trifle cake. You showed me a photo of a Bundt cake with raspberries on top the next morning. You helped me study, even when I was a pain in the ass, and you’ve made me laugh when I’d much rather cry. We rode horses together on weekends when we had time. You helped me get through one of the worst breakups I’ve ever had. I’ve cried on your shoulder more times than I can count, we’ve had more movie nights with friends in the dorms than I can remember. I’m grateful that I always had a travel buddy when it came time to go home for Winter Break. Two hours goes by much quicker when you’re screaming the soundtrack of Frozen II in the car. You reminded me that I’m a good person. You remind me of that a lot, and even though I know that I can be exhausting and hard to handle, you’re always there to lend an ear or offer advice, and if I just need support, I know I can count on you. We always stayed up late on your birthday, midnights during finals week were never boring when your mom sent you a package to open, every item wrapped with care, because she wanted you to celebrate even if you weren’t home yet. You love dragons, and I’m awful at drawing them, but I drew one for you anyways. I’m glad we had an apartment our senior year. I hate that we live 8 hours away. Thank you for introducing me to Mikayla. I’m sorry about the fights that we’ve had. I’m grateful to you and Mikayla for showing me what healthy friendship is.”

And “I’ve known you since 8th grade but we’ve never met in person. I think about you all the time. I’m proud of who you’ve become. Thank you for being such an amazing friend. You’re such an inspiration to me. I wish we lived closer, I wish I could come visit.”

It’s “I haven’t talked to you in a while. We FaceTimed every day after school in high school. You’re engaged now, and I’m so happy for you. I hope he treats you well, I’m sorry I live so far away, I want you to have everything you want in life. I came to your graduation party, I was so excited when you came to my house and surprised me. I miss you, I hope you’re doing okay. I know I’m awful at texting back, I need to text you more.”

And “I read your eulogy at your service. I hope I did right by you. I wanted to honor your memory, and somehow, the right words came to me after crying over blank paper for hours. I hate that you’re gone. I hate that I can’t talk to you anymore. I don’t know how to live without you.

(How do I live without you?)

I hope I honored you and your memory with what I wrote. . . I hope everyone knows how much I love and miss you. I hope you know how much I love you. If there is a Heaven, say hi to Molly and Monica for me. Say hi to Mavi and Bear and Precious too. I listen to Taylor Swift all of the time now. I listen to One Direction too.

You were my first real friend. And that’s not to say I didn’t have friends before, but you were the first that stuck around. It was like Lilo and Stitch, times two. We found each other and became friends, and then in 4th grade, I picked Sam to become friends with… and then we were a trio. I remember all of the trouble we got into… it feels like yesterday.

(God, how I wish it were yesterday, because then you’d still be here.)

Your grandparents cried when I came over to pick up your stuff. I cried when your grandma gave me your Ron Jon’s hat and that stupid scarf you always wore and damn near strangled me with when we would wrestle with one another. I hugged your cat Harley for you, I wish I had been able to visit your house more. You always wanted to come to mine, and I never knew why, but “your house is more fun than mine,” always came the reply. I never quite believed that, but I didn’t push you.

I started watching Golden Girls, it makes me think of you. Kally is getting older now too, she’s 16, I know that when we were younger, we joked that cats that old went to Star Clan. I hope she goes to live out the rest of her days with you up there, at least I know she’ll be loved and looked after when it’s her time to rest. You were supposed to be in my wedding, but as it stands now, that will be a long ways away.

Life is odd, and it’s always changing, and you of all people, know how much I hate change. (How do I keep living when I’ve lost so many people that I once cared for?)

How do my grandparents do it? Losing friends they’ve known for years? How does anyone do it? Living without the people you thought you’d never lose is the worst feeling ever, and I’m scared to live if it means that everyone I care for could die tomorrow.

I’m glad you were able to love someone and that he was able to love you in return. You deserved a lifetime of happiness. I hope that he knows you passed on, I tried to contact him, but I never asked you for a name.

I can’t sleep some nights knowing that I was the last person you willingly called at 2 in the morning. I hope you can forgive me for not picking up. I miss you more than words can say.

(Do you think if I had been there for you, things would be different? Would you still be here if we hadn’t drifted apart in high school?)

I wish we hadn’t drifted apart in high school.

I wish things didn’t have to end, I wish someone could invent a way to tell when things would come to an end, so I could cling to it more tightly, telling those people how much I love them, how important they are in my life, and how much I loathe change. . .

I wish I never had to read your eulogy. It was the second hardest thing I’ve ever done, missing you, grieving you. . . That’s the first.”

~ a short collection of the people I’ve loved

(This doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of other new friends that I have and love right now, because I’m lucky to have so many people that care about me & I’m lucky to be able to care about them and get to know them as well.

This just… needed to come out tonight.

And I didn’t really include family in this, but I was more-so focused on friends that I’ve had and lost over the years.)