#this rant was needed - too much of this has been happening the last few months - especially this month and i can't
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brckensocietyarch · 11 months ago
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hi lovely humans. this is a long post. but i need to talk about this. yes, i'm ranting, but i'm genuinely tired of this and i can no longer be the "i'll just deal with it" type. i read every person i look at interacting withs' rules. it's common sense in this community and not doing it at this point is kinda disrespectful in my opinion. TLDR: (although you should read if we interact unless it's been for a long time, i know y'all understand my rules very well) READ MY RULES! a reminder for anyone who wants to interact with me, my rules are important and it's obvious when people haven't read them especially the "female vs male muses". one, i have a ratio rule of 1:1 male:female (i don't have nb/genderfluid muses rn so that's the ratio rn), if you are someone who doesn't care about ratios that is fine, i am happy to give more females if you'd like but my males come with rules. i prefer playing my femmes and being used for my males has irked me to no end over my many years in the rp community. now, to help myself stay on top of this there is a time limit for if you've posted a reply to my males and not my females, i've been giving leeway with it given my own health and the holiday season BUT next year, after my bday i will be enforcing the time limit again (of two weeks). as usual, if muse level is an issue, that is more than okay, i am happy to hold onto your reply to my male until you get around to having enough muse to reply to my female but otherwise, i will drop the thread after two weeks and it'll be a strike against me interacting with you. (note: i, whether queuing or directly posting, will post my male and female replies together/one after the other, this helps me so i keep the ratio especially if someone i'm rping with also finds it important, you can always not reply to my male and wait til your muse replying to my female is musey again. hold it in your drafts, that's fine, i am happy to wait. it's far better than feeling used. i do sometimes give slack with a couple of replies but over the past year it's been harder to do that given how disheartening it is (especially with my rsd).) also, if you reply to male muses starter, reply to a females too OR reach out to interact with one, not doing so makes it awkward for me because i then have to follow up on something that should be a no-brainer given my rules, which you should've read. i've legit been told once that they figured my rules didn't kick in until we interacted a little bit, that's not how it works. two, sadly, f/f threads are still rough, there are a few muses/people i interact with willing to do them platonic and not but they are minimal rn. so most threads are m/f rn. m/m is still open but lower muse too. i get this isn't for everyone and that's totally okay. sometimes i will reach out and ask for f/f and you can do the same but it's not guaranteed. this also connects to three... so, three, i don't rp with all female blogs. i understand some people don't like playing males at all and that is totally okay but this is my preference, especially when i don't have much muse for f/f threads having all female blogs like my posts to interact with me is.... bothersome. like, the f/f thing is on my pinned post and my rules, so you can't miss it if you're looking at my blog. which means you've liked something or reached out without giving my blog a real look at all or you've ignored/haven't read my rules or expect me to just to m/f threads with solely my males with you. that's isn't going to happen. i'm not kidding when i say there have been at least 20 all-female blogs in the past month that have liked interaction posts or reached out to rp. sorry, but it's my preference right now and will not happen.
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dreamsteddie · 1 month ago
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Steve H.
Part Two, Part One
Okay, I started the last post with a "Haha wouldn't it be funny" which turned into a long, not-so-funny rant. So! Here is the funny part!
Steve is Dustin's brother and Claudia's son in all but law. He lives with them, calls Claudia mom and refers to Dustin as his brother, takes them to all his school events until he graduates and helps pay the bills after high school. Claudia never pressures him to apply to colleges he doesn't even want to get into or makes him feel like he has to move out any time soon when he turns 18, so he stays and gets a part-time job at Scoops where he bonds with Robin for life.
At the same time, drop out Eddie and his uncle Wayne move to town when the power company transfers him to the plant in Hawkins. It serves them well since Eddie needs a fresh start after getting tossed out of school without a degree for unjust reasons. He needs some place where he can make friends and get a job without his reputation hanging over his head, and Wayne would never abandon his nephew.
So they land in Hawkins and Eddie finds his feet by visiting the library and happening upon a gaggle of kids commandeering one of the reservable conference rooms for DnD. They're are a few older kids closer to his age there too, but the curly-haired one is definitely running the show.
Meanwhile, Wayne has failed to mention to his nephew that the main reason he agreed to the transfer uncontested was because he hit it off with one Claudia Henderson at a diner after a fishing trip and has been dating her without Eddie's knowledge for 8 months. He breaks the news to his Nephew when he starts making plans to propose and wants to introduce Eddie to Claudia and her sons before he does. Wayne loves Claudia but Eddie comes first and he wants to make sure they'll all make a good family.
So they go over to the Henderson household for dinner one night, Wayne having wrangled Eddie into a black button-down and jeans without holes so Claudia doesn't think he raised a ruffian.
Dustin answers the door and immediately freaks out because he's so excited. He's met Wayne before and so has Steve so he knows things are serious and there's a good chance Eddie becomes family down the line.
Yelling in excitement the whole way Dustin drags both men into the kitchen where the root of all Eddie's troubles can be found.
Steve.
He immediately starts bitching at Dustin about acceptable volumes, towel over his shoulder and hands on hips and Eddie is Gone. Sent. In the stratosphere and immediately smitten. He's lost in the clouds planning their own wedding until reality crashes back down on his head as Steve extends his hand and introduces himself as Dustin's brother.
Eddie, of course, does not know that Steve is not actually related to anyone in this family legally or otherwise and no one thinks to clue him in since they're all so accustomed to the family dynamic.
If Google had been around in the 80s Eddie's search history would be full of "Is it illegal to date my uncle's step-son? NOT RELATED BY BLOOD" "how many degrees of separation in the family tree is acceptable?"
Que Eddie desperately trying to suppress his crush and not ruin his uncle's happiness by wooing his almost step-cousin ew like he really wants to.
But it's so hard! Steve is so beautiful and kind and dorky and a little weird and basically everything Eddie could possibly want in a boyfriend! Eddie wants to bite his freckles and hold his hand so badly but he won't ruin Wayne's future marriage because he kissed his future stepson like they're characters in those soap operas Claudia likes. He won't!
And then to make matters worse Steve seems like he really wants to bond with Eddie. He's always asking him to hang out wether that's going to the mall to hang out with his best friend Robin or swapping tapes at Claudia's house or showing Eddie all his favorite spots in Hawkins. (Steve is very much dropping hints that he wants to date Eddie who he's 96% sure is into him but Eddie is too caught up to notice)
It comes to a head on the day of the engagement. Wayne enlisted all three of "his boys" to help set up a nice dinner party with their closest friends, something Claudia has always mentioned wanting to host, while Joyce invites her out for some shopping and girl time. Steve and Wayne do most of the cooking while Eddie and Dustin are on set up picking up the flowers and pulling the nice table setting down from the attic before separating to get dressed in their nice outfits.
It's like a moment from a fairytale when Steve walks down the stairs and smiles at him. He's so fucking handsome it makes Eddie's heart ache with the cold realization that he's fallen completely in love with a man he can't have. Eddie can feel a prickling behind his eyes but he brutally shoves the sensation down. Today isn't about him.
Eddie puts on a happy face. It's not hard, he is truly happy for Wayne. His uncle deserves the world and both him and Claudia looked so in love when she said yes. He just wishes it didn't have to mean never having the man of his dreams. Eddie sticks the party out and he thinks he did a pretty good job hiding his mood right up until Dustin barges into the basement where the hideaway bed lives. The plan was always for the whole new family unit to stay the night so Eddie heads down as soon as it is acceptable to fall face-first into the pillows and trash around a little bit. Maybe even scream. Sue him, he's heartbroken.
That's how Dustin finds him and he immediately starts crowing that he knew something was up with Eddie. He starts pestering in true Dustin fashion until Eddie inelegently blurts out "I'M IN LOVE WITH MY FUTURE COUSIN IN LAW!"
Dustin blinks at him for a few minutes while Eddie freaks out because he's been so good only for Dustin to bully a confession out of him the day his uncle got engaged like a jerk!
But then Dustin is literally rolling around on the floor howling with laughter and Eddie has never wanted to strangle someone and disappear at the same time in his whole life. He's about to start asking Dustin what the fuck is up when the younger boy sits up and says "He's not my real brother!" at which point it's Eddie's turn to blink at Dustin in silence.
Dustin explains that while Steve is definitely his brother in all the ways that matter he's not actually related to Dustin or Claudia, nor was he ever legally adopted.
Eddie hardly lets Dustin finish his story before he's booking it up the stairs to Steve's room with a truly unprecedented display of athleticism on his part. He franticly taps on the door, aware enough to avoid banding on it like he would like to lest he disturb the newly engaged couple down the hall.
Steve opens the door, eyes wide and slightly frantic. As soon as his eyes meet Eddie's they disappear from his eyeline because Eddie has dropped to his knees, hands clasped together, and begs "Mary me!"
Of course, they don't get engaged that night. Eddie kind of just panicked and said the first thing that came to his head, but they kissed and began to date with the full blessing of their weird little family.
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erodasfishtacos · 7 months ago
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Boredom & Blind Dates [pt I]
summary: yn is a good friend, who's willing to go on a blind date so that her friend can try to pull the man of her dreams. the new bigshot doctor at the hospital she's works. the dinner isnt as charming as she hoped
word count: 5k
warnings: angst
author's note: hii! this was based off a request. the rest will be posted on patreon and there’s already another part up :)
You can subscribe for $3 USD a month here
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Victoria was a friend that YN had made in college when they were both studying completely opposite majors but happened to be roomed in the same two-bed dorm.
They clicked instantly and just like their majors, they were also exact opposite in their personalities too but it somehow just meshed perfectly together.
Victoria was a social butterfly who did not have a fear of being the center of attention, going after whoever she wanted (and typically pulling them), and her confidence was impressive.
Despite how smart Victoria was, she had a tendency to come off a bit ditzy, and has been called an air-head more than twice in YN’s presence.
The boys in more prestigious majors like law and medicine usually didn’t find her carefree attitude as appealing.
While Tori snagged the frat boys, YN steered clear of them which worked because they had never once had a crush on the same man.
After graduation, it only made sense to move in together because Seattle was a ridiculously overpriced city but their job wages were competitive.
Victoria was a nurse, she worked on a surgery recovery wing, and complained about her job constantly because of the crabby patients and long hours.
YN worked behind a desk all day, very rarely having to interact with anyone but if she did - it was all virtual from home.
She was the head accountant for a social media marketing company which was a pretty high position for the few years of experience she had.
YN had always been serious, more mature for her age, and always excelled above everyone else in her grade.
It hadn’t been a surprise when she was valedictorian or made summa cum laude in her undergraduate and masters degree with ease.
YN didn’t party, didn’t love socializing out in clubs but would go when Victoria pressured her enough to do so, and it was fine.
YN had been so involved in establishing her career, creating a successful life, and making a name for herself that she didn’t have time for the things Victoria did.
Dating app hookups, one night stands from the bar, and casual flings that only lasted a few weeks was how Tori rolled.
Typically, at least once a month, she was bawling to YN about the latest dickhead who treated her like she was disposable but kept going for the same type.
YN had empathy to an extent, always uncorked the wine and half-listened to her rants about chivalry being dead while she was still thinking about an account she needed to work on because the deadline was coming up.
YN liked to think she lived vicariously through Victoria’s stories which worked for her because then she didn’t have to experience those things herself.
+
YN had been sitting on the couch, laptop balanced on the wide arm as she scrolled through work emails while catching up on her guilty pleasure reality show.
It was nearly ten at night but she was waiting for a reply from a customer with a time difference, work could sometimes be a whole day and night ordeal.
There was no question that YN was uptight, rarely - if ever relaxed, and did not have much time for anything other than what put a hefty sum in her bank account every two weeks.
Victoria tumbled through the front door in a way that is uniquely her - like a hurricane.
Her keys jingling, her water bottle bumping and sloshing water as she drops her purse on the floor unceremoniously with a chapstick rolling out.
She tosses all of her items in a messy pile on the ground with her bag, kicking off her tennis shoes, and nearly prances into the living room.
YN blinks over at her, the excitement of her arrival was a routine now, she no longer gets annoyed that her best friend makes an entrance like that each time.
“Babe, guess what,” Victoria squeals as she sits down right next to her on the couch, still in her magenta colored scrubs and her mascara smudged near her eyes.
“What?” YN replies as she mindlessly clicks refresh in her email, wishing for this message with the information she needs to appear.
“Our new Chief of Medicine started today! He was the head of neurology at another hospital. A literal brain surgeon which, of course I’ve met others but he’s like…the best of the best. They write news articles about him, his studies in medical journals, he’s a big deal,” Victoria is still excited as she nearly bounces in her spot, shaking YN’s laptop.
YN puts a hand up to make sure her computer doesn’t topple, still nonplussed as she looks at her friend, “What does this have to do with you? Is it just because he’s famous in the medical world?”
“No, he’s fucking gorgeous too. I didn’t think you were allowed to be as smart as he is while looking like he just walked off a runway during Paris Fashion Week,” Tori giggles as her cheeks go a bit pink, “He’s the hottest doctor I’ve ever seen.”
“Tori,” YN sighs, clicking her refresh again - nothing, “Again, what is this information leading to?”
“Well I bumped into him today, literally, in the hallway. We spoke briefly, he was polite but serious, and I felt like he was flirting with me. I feel like I have a chance with him,” Her roommate tells her, that same confidence present as ever that she can pull this big shot doctor.
“Good luck with that. I’m sure he’s married with kids,” YN replies somewhat dismissively, unamused that this is how her friend spends her time.
“Nope,” Tori quips back happily, “I googled him. He just made the New York Times list as one of the most eligible bachelors in medicine. Single as they come.”
“I thought you didn’t want to date someone who also worked in medicine,” YN reminds her, clicking refresh once again to no results.
“He’s the exception. If I could settle down with a fuckin neurosurgeon, chief medical officer like come on that would be my biggest achievement,” Victoria pulls out her cell phone, tapping across the screen.
And YN just…cannot relate.
YN only fell in love once.
Where she could fantasize about a life with that person, marriage, kids, a house but it was all fantasy as they were never official in that way.
It was crushed and YN made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t let herself dream like that again.
“Do you want to see a picture?” Victoria asks as she looks for an image to show.
As a stroke of luck, YN’s work phone starts buzzing, and it’s the client she was waiting for to email her, “I’m sure he’s as attractive as you say, Tor. I have to take this.”
Her friend mumbles something about her being in a relationship with work which is honestly not that far off at this point.
However, it gives her an excuse to lock herself in her office for a few hours to avoid the ideas of love, Victoria’s fantasy world, and think about nothing but numbers and percentages.
+
The next few weeks blend together for YN.
Every few days she actually catches up on her work.
Every few days Victoria recounts her very purposefully crafted run-ins with the chief medical officer to shoot her shot.
Victoria has always been forward, asking bluntly for what she wants but with such a seemingly intimidating man, she finally has met her match.
Her roommate deems the doctor as ‘playing hard to get’ but YN starts to wonder if she’s imagining the spark between them or if it’s truly there.
She talks about times where the doctor flat out ignores her in the hallway but brushes it off that he was extremely busy on a pressing issue.
But then there are times where he will pull her aside, gently by the wrist and ask her about how her day was going, and appear to be interested in her answers.
YN loved her friend but was wildly uninterested in these events, the only thing that kept her curiosity lingering was if she was actually going to snag the head of the biggest hospital in Seattle.
She doesn’t hear much for a week or two.
At least three months have passed since the doctor started.
And this finally appears to be a payoff when Victoria comes home with her usual hurricane routine of leaving a trail of her belongings as she comes through the front door.
“Oh my god, oh my god. Close your laptop and look at me!” Victoria announces dramatically as she rushes over to the couch, taking it upon herself to close the lid of YN’s work computer.
“Tori,” YN scolds with a grumble, she really didn’t appreciate it when her friend interrupted her work flow in the middle of her meticulously constructing a report.
“Hush,” She replies, brushing off her concerns, and patting YN’s thighs, “I need the absolute biggest, most massive favor from you ever. And I really need you to agree, I’ll owe you for eternity.”
This didn’t sound good.
YN blinks at her, expression still unamused as ever.
“Okay. I am going on a date with the chief,” Victoria squeals, high-pitched and loud, “But it’s a double-date, he was telling me he’s looking for a date for his friend. I offered you and he invited us all to dinner at The National.”
Fancy.
And YN tries to settle the itching annoyance at her friend offering her up without her approval but unfortunately it was a very Victoria-like thing to do.
Despite how uptight YN could be, she had a soft spot for her friend and would do anything within her to make her happy so instead of lecturing her about setting her up, YN agrees.
YN thinks about it as the days pass until the date, what’s stopping her from actually giving this a try?
The only information she received about her blind date was that he was also a doctor, orthopedics, and his name was Mitch.
YN dresses nicer than she had originally planned, in a form fitting black dress that shaped her chest phenomenally, making her smaller tits look full and lifted.
It also defined her backside well too, making it rounded and voluminous in a way that it normally didn’t look in her regular outfits.
YN hadn’t been with anyone in over a year, not even a casual hookup because she didn’t do those - she did commitment.
Maybe Mitch would be the one.
YN wasn’t one for magical thinking like her best friend but maybe this is what optimism was supposed to be like as opposed to her normal pessimist outlook.
Victoria dressed stunning as well, albeit a bit more revealing which was her go to, cut-outs along her ribs and the hem was nearly to her bum cheeks so she couldn’t bend over without revealing all of her bits and pieces.
YN was sure that the doctor she was pining after would take her home with her that night but she also knows Victoria is possibly looking at this to become serious.
It was all up in the air.
The National was a quiet restaurant, where business meetings were held and deals were made.
Everyone dressed in expensive outfits that made YN and Victoria’s seem a bit out of place but they blended in well enough.
Neither have been to the location before because it was reservation-only and you had to have enough of a name in Seattle to bother calling.
The fact that the chief was able to get them a table, at relatively short notice was flex in itself, showing off what clout he held in the community.
YN wasn’t impressed, per se, felt like it was a bit-show off but nevertheless it was a nice experience that she’d never likely have again after this night.
Victoria gives the hostess their name before they’re being guided towards the back of the restaurant, it lit dimly enough that it would be hard to see the menu.
As they arrive at the table, there’s two meticulous dressed men sit across from one another, both handsome in different ways.
However, one has a big smile and stands up whilst the other stays seated with a scowl that seems permanently etched on his face - light wrinkles to show for it.
The man who stands up reaches for YN’s hand, kissing the back of it, and introducing himself, “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve been looking forward to it all week, darling. I’m Mitch.”
“YN,” She replies even though he already knows, allowing the kiss and giving him a polite smile back as he pulls out her chair for her.
Victoria walks around the table, somewhat awkward as her date doesn’t get up or offer to move her chair out, only a curt, “Hello, Victoria. You look nice.”
“Thanks,” Tori blushes easily, YN has to refrain from rolling her eyes at the interaction, she always fell for the rudest, douchey men on Earth.
This doctor was no different as he says back in his chair, shoulders broad, and back straight, head held high as he watches Mitch help YN in her seat.
“Thank you,” YN brushes her fingers against Mitch’s shoulder as he sits down, making eye contact with her date once again.
He had these sincere brown eyes, a shy smile, and his long hair was pulled back into a ponytail as he nods at her.
Mitch wasn’t her type, though she wasn’t picky, and was willing to give anyone a chance - he just wouldn’t be someone she would pick herself.
Maybe that’s a good thing.
“What’s good here?” YN asks Mitch as she opens her menu, it was a small list of entrees, most that YN had only seen on cooking shows or never even heard of.
“I haven’t been here. Styles here is a regular but that’s because he’s the big name ‘round here, well according to London Times - everywhere,” Mitch teases as he glances up at his friend.
Styles doesn’t even lift his lip in a half-smile, his eyes dart to YN before his friend, “The Steelhead Trout is good as is the Filet Migon.”
YN’s eyes trace back over the menu, heart seizing a bit as the numbers next to the entree - realizing that was the price was a bit of shell shock.
She knew that Mitch would pay for her but she felt guilty about ordering something that was well over a hundred and fifty dollars when she would never pay that for dinner herself.
“I think I’ll just get the thai salmon,” YN replies as she glances over, it was the cheapest option, not by much but still.
“There’s peanuts in the sauce,” The doctor tells her as he glances up from his own menu to look at YN.
YN brow furrows at him, lips turning down, and about to say something when he adds, “Victoria informed me that you have a severe peanut allergy and to choose a restaurant that could prepare your food properly.”
YN blinks to process before looking over to Victoria, “Thanks, Tor.”
“I’d rather not see freshman year thanksgiving happen again,” Victoria jokes but there is some real concern there from such a traumatic incident.
YN had accidentally come into contact with some type of nut that sent her into an anaphylactic shock.
They couldn’t find her epipen for a good two minutes until they did and were able to administer her medication until she could make it to the hospital.
Victoria had anxiety about food in their house for ages, paranoid about her own contact with the allergen, and always made sure everyone was aware of YN’s condition.
“I’ll get the filet then,” YN sighs, giving up on picking a cheap option as she closes her menu, and the waiter pours a red wine into her glass.
YN was not in the mood to drink, preferring to sip on her water instead as Victoria and Mitch emptied their first glass quickly.
Victoria’s date sipped more sophisticatedly on his, swirling it like a proper snob before taking a minuscule sip as if he was savoring it.
Mitch seemed very interested in YN, asking multiple questions about her work and personal life, he put an arm around the back of her chair which YN didn’t necessarily mind as they spoke.
From what YN could see, Victoria was not having as much luck with her date as their conversation appeared strained, her friend was doing ninety percent of the talking, and Harry was nodding with an expression of boredom.
After the soup and salads arrive, Mitch and Harry start to chat about something going on with the hospital protocols.
Victoria tries to add in, he doesn’t acknowledge her but Mitch does instead after an uncomfortable pause of silence between them.
YN stays quiet, unable to add anything, and after a moment, Mitch huffs out a laugh, “Enough work talk, we’re excluding YN.”
Harry raises his eyebrow at her, “Need to be the center of attention?”
“Hey,” Mitch frowns, rubbing at YN’s shoulder, “I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. I’m sorry if I just-“
“You’re fine,” YN waves her hand dismissively, giving her friend’s date a displeased glance that Harry returns the scowl just like he’d been doing all night.
Victoria is oblivious, as she tends to be, and is much too focused on keeping her date’s attention to worry about anything else.
“What do you do for work?” Harry asks her, randomly cutting off a story that Victoria was telling about a patient that eloped recently.
“I’m a head accountant for a social media marketing company. What about you?” YN returns the question with sickeningly sweet politeness.
She felt like Harry was a pompous prick, taking pride in his rankings, education, and had a better than attitude that YN really felt was unappealing.
To act like she didn’t know shit about him was the perfect way to irritate him apparently.
It works.
The way his teeth clench together as the wrinkle between his brow deepens further, he straightens his suit jacket before leaning forward to appear casual.
“I’m the Chief Medical Officer of The Hospital of Seattle, a neurosurgeon specializing in spinal cord injury as well as stroke and trauma, I own three outpatient medical practices, as well as instruct other neurosurgeons on new techniques and equipment,” Harry boasts, to be fair, it was extremely impressive.
There was no doubt that the man sitting across from her was extremely intelligent, she’s probably never been around anyone as smart as him but it didn’t excuse his attitude.
You can be intelligent and humble at the same time.
Apparently Doctor Styles did not get the memo.
“That’s nice,” YN replies as she takes a very small sip of wine, even though she was impressed, it didn’t reflect in her bored tone.
Harry scoffs, sitting back, and licking the front of his teeth.
His eyebrow was raised as he repeated in disbelief, “That’s nice? Nothing else, huh?”
Victoria’s eyes dart nervously between the two, she grips Harry’s bicep, “I think it’s the most impressive thing I’ve heard. Not to mention the medical journals you wrote for or the volunteer work.”
YN tucks her bottom lip between her teeth, tampering down a smile at getting a reaction out of her friend’s date, just as she had hoped.
“S’really not as impressive when the person needs to flaunt their accomplishments so extravagantly,” YN shrugs as she puts down her wine glass, nonchalant as ever, and acting as if she was being casual.
Tori delivers a kick to her shin underneath the table, along with a scolding look for her to drop the attitude with Harry because it was ruining their date.
YN pulls back because she did feel guilty at getting into it with this doctor who Tori was trying to pull and she wasn’t increasing the chances with the snide comments.
Harry is about to respond, his ringed fingers clenched on the table, and there were tattoos peeking out from the cuffs of his suit that were very undoctorlike, “You know what I think-?”
“Uhm,” Mitch coughs awkwardly to break up the tension that was getting thick and cloying between everyone at the table, “Victoria, where did you get your nursing degree from?”
The conversation breaks off, Victoria and Mitch start chatting as YN and Harry remain pretty much silent throughout the appetizers.
Victoria is forward, trying to touch her date when possible.
A brush of his hand here, a squeeze of his bulky bicep there.
Though Harry doesn’t shrug her off, he also doesn’t return the favor at all.
He is nearly statuesque, unmoving, and able to sit very still for long amounts of time.
Of course, maybe that is overly obvious because of how all over the place her friend was at all times, unable to sit still for more than a few minutes without needing to adjust the way she’s sitting or fiddle with something on the table.
YN wonders if this whole thing was set up for Mitch and Harry just settled for being on a date with Victoria to help his friend out.
The thought hurt her to think about because she wanted better for her friend.
YN enjoyed having a job that paid her well, more than most people her age were making but it didn’t define who she was.
Doctor Styles seemed to be his entire job as his personality.
How boring.
When Harry manages to get the topic back onto a work issue, YN cannot help but let out a yawn that she very half-heartedly tries to cover with her hand because she could only hear so much about a spinal surgery before she’s zoning out.
Victoria is hanging onto his every word, asking questions, and being overly interested in a lackluster story in his monotone, deep voice that could honestly lull her to sleep because of how bleak and morbid he sounded.
However, when she yawns, no one at the table notices but Harry.
His eyes have darted over to her a few times while he’s been talking, almost to gauge her level of interest, and when she yawns, he visibly huffs before continuing - his words a bit more harsh and a flutter of annoyance twisting into his cadence.
YN had neglected her date during this whole time, in full honesty.
Victoria and Mitch seemed to have a great conversation.
When YN talked to Mitch, he was nice enough and easy to have a conversation with but his boss across the table was distracting and apparently felt the need to constantly be the center of attention even though that’s what he called YN out for. 
It’s rude, YN knows it is when she excuses herself to the bathroom mid-story, placing her napkin on the table before swinging her purse over her shoulder, and navigating into the dimly-lit restaurant towards the back.
YN goes into one of the many stalls, a larger bathroom, and sits down.
She didn’t have to go to the bathroom but she had just needed a break because…
What the fuck.
What the actual fuck?
YN would be crawling out the bathroom window if Victoria wasn’t with her.
YN hears the door open and she just knows it’s Victoria.
She is definitely going to give YN a piece of her mind for her attitude at the table and she really can’t blame her because she was not being on her best behavior admittedly.
When YN pushes open the stall, already starting her speech, “Tor, I know you’re probably pissed but -”
However, YN stops mid-setence when she sees that it was not Victoria standing across from her.
No, instead it was Harry, leaning back against the sinks with his arms crossed and a scowl worse than anything that he had displayed at the table across his face.
“Already dating again?” He asks unhappily, the slight crack of his deep drawl gives away the jealously laying behind those words, “That’s pretty fuckin’ rich, innit?”
“Don’t you dare,” YN hisses back, defensive and straightening up, “You don’t have any room to talk.”
“I have plenty,” Harry grits out, his gaze unwavering, his hand twitching like he wants to reach out, “You fucked everything up, not me.”
The awful thing is that YN wants him too.
“That’s not true,” YN murmurs softer, trying to keep the feisty edge in her voice but struggling.
The emotions that she was attempting to hold in at the table were much harder to bottle up when they were standing face-to-face like this.
“You like Mitch?” Harry ignores her rebuttal, his knuckles were white where they were gripping the kitchen sink, “Think he’s nice? Boyfriend material?”
“It’s none of your fucking business,” YN snaps back, finding her bravado a bit more.
“Come here,” Harry orders, voice quiet but sharp, demanding, and it sends a chill down her spine.
“Harry-” YN begins to argue but finds herself walking forward, her heart pounding hard enough that it hurts and her hands were shaking as she clung the strap of her purse as a lifeline as her heels clicked against the tile.
“C’mon, dove,” His voice is sweeter, more goading until she’s close enough to touch.
Her lips parted in nerves, excitement, dread.
His hand reaches out to curl around the nape of her neck, fingers lightly pressing into the sides of her throat and though it was gentle, it was possessive - rooted in the jealousy of what was going on tonight with their dates.
Harry brings her towards him by the hold he has on her, until her hands are laid on his chest, and he’s leaning down as he tilts her head up.
He brushes their lips together, once, twice, and on the third time, YN pulls back and takes a few steps away from him.
“You can’t just do that,” YN huffs, grabbing a tissue from the counter and dabbing at the corners of her eyes to prevent the tears from falling and ruining her makeup, “I’m on a date. You’re on a date. It isn’t fair to either of them.”
Harry laughs unhappily, shaking his head as pushes away from the sink, heading towards the door but before he leaves, he bites back, “I don’t think you have room to be talking about fair. You obviously don’t fuckin’ understand the concept of it. Pull yourself together before you come back out.”
YN knows it immature, proves his point but gives him the middle finger before going back to dabbing at her eyes - fuck, she wishes she didn’t cry around him.
She wondered if it was worth sneaking out the window and facing the wrath of her friend later.
+
ahhhhhhh.
let me know your thoughts. this was difficult to write but im glad it turned out how i wanted it too! what do you predict?
😙😙😙
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jellyfiishatr · 1 year ago
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Being friends with them!!
a/n : just some friendly hang out sessions with the great spider four >_<★!!
☆☆☆
Characters : Miles Morales / Gwen Stacy / Pavitr Prabhakar / Hobie Brown
content : headcanon / fluff / platonic / pure silliness
☆☆☆
Miles Morales!! (Small Ganke mention!!)
☆ study sessions with these two ofcourse
☆ ^and by study sessions I mean Miles is doing work and Ganke's been done and has been playing videos games since you came over to their dorm
☆ Miles asks for help with English, and you ask for help with whatever you're missing
☆ if not study sesh, then definitely out and about spray painting a new wall
☆ ^I can imagine late night talks with him after he's finished a piece are very heart to heart, he loves to speak his mind to you and hopes you do aswell
☆ I can imagine you meeting his parents are a little nerve wracking since he's mentioned that they didn't like ganke or Gwen
☆ so you tried to be as respectful and kind to them as you possibly could (probably also kissing up to them idk I would too)
☆ if you also do art, you guys compare drawings and give eachother advice on what you need to work on
☆ ^definitely the type to steal your notes and draw in them during class
☆ ^will also steal said notes for a week and forger he has them till your banging on his door in the middle of the night before your assignments due and those notes are very much important to you
Gwen stacy!!
☆ it took a long time for her to actually consider you a friend, a lot of the time you just stayed following her and talking
☆ ^anything you said in those few months prior to her considering you a friend, went through one ear and out the other
☆ She's definitely a teaser, making fun of you in a friendly manner
☆ movie night, or weekly sleepovers at one another's house is a must with her
☆ ^she says she's into horror/action but is really into romcoms, she won't admit that outloud though
☆ I feel like she's really bad at cooking so teaching her how better her cooking skills has definitely happened once or twice
☆ ^she loves when you make her lunches, she usually buys you lunch for the next two days in return
☆ when she's playing the drums you usually sit right outside her window with headphones because she's likes to have her room shut off
☆ ^but she still wants to hang out so she makes you wait outside for about an hour till she's done and has you back inside for dinner
Pavitr Prabhakar!!
☆ Study sessions pt2!
☆ he's a straight A, top of the class student. He doesn't really need to do homework because he does it in class
☆ he does help you with yours though, especially if you're failing
☆ early morning walks, he's an early bird and makes you walk with him because "It's good for the mind!"
☆ if you're not an earlybird, you're grumbling the entire walk about how it's a "weekend" and how "you do this everyday pavitr" and how "you need to stop making me do this"
☆ he doesn't understand whatever you're trying to say and pushes you lightly the rest of the walk (that last part definitelywasnt written by pavitr, no definitely not)
☆ he loves to rant about his girlfriend, talking about how they sneaked out and went on a late night walk that week
☆ if you have an s/o you're definitely talking about them with pavitr, telling him all about them
☆ he's definitely a dog person, he always has a dog following him no matter what
☆ you guys are walking to school? There's a dog right behind you. Hanging out at his house? There's a dog right outside his bedroom window. LITERALLY IN SCHOOL?? A DOG HAS WALKED IN DURING THE MIDDLE OF CLASS AND SAT DOWN NEXT TO HIM WHILE THE TEACHER WAS AWAY
☆ ^everyone think he just has some sort of dog treats on him always but it's really from just recognizing his face from him always feeding them, such a sweetheart
Hobie Brown!!
☆ draws on your hand a lot
☆ ^you always have faded sharpie on you no matter what because of him
☆ you tease him for his accent constantly, saying "pip pip cheerio," or "ello luv." In the most horrible accent ever
☆ You have to go to protests or big government events with him, whether you're political or not he's dragging you along
☆ Always has little trinkets for you everytime you hang out
☆ hang outs in an abandoned building are a daily thing
☆ ^he's probably made you carry a big couch for him to put in a new hang out spot because he said he "knew a place."
☆ he did infact know a place
☆ the playlist guy, he's the one with fire songs to hype everyone up at rallies/protests
☆ knows how to design, outfits, or banners whatever. He knows how to do it right
☆ you'll always have heart to heart conversations with him, early in the morning, mid-day, or late at night
☆ if you ever bring up the topic, "you think we're friends in another universe?" He just looks at you and nods (I've mentioned this before in my hobie hcs)
☆☆☆
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luffyvace · 7 months ago
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Dating ~ Sanji Vinsmoke ~ headcanons
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These are sfw and gender neutral
for Sanji’s big day! (I’m super late ik hush :3)
pt2 here my sillies :3 : Dating ~ Sanji Vinsmoke ~ headcanons pt2
Dating Sanji includes royal treatment. We all know this. It’s so obvious. 😭 It’s in the manga, it’s canon, we all write it in our headcanons. We know this.
Royal treatment meaning sit back and relax dear, Sanji’s got this. Sea beast? He beat it up and is now cooking a delicious and nutritious sea beast stew for you, would you like that with a smoothie? Lemonade? Water? Ok water. Sparkling? Distilled? Iced?
oh your lost? Don’t worry he’s got bread and he’ll leave breadcrumbs where you’ve walked so you don’t go in circles :)
your clothes are wet? Take his. 💋
there’s mud up ahead and you just bought a snazzy new fit? He’ll carry you 🏋️‍♂️
somebody bothering you loveliest? He’s already kicked them to Australia (extra hard if it was Zoro)
Dating Sanji includes good communication.
If you feel anything but a positive emotion Sanji is on the case. And the first victim he’s pointing fingers at is Zoro 😼
”MOSS HEAD BASTARD!! YOU MADE THEM UPSET DIDNT YOU?!”
it’s not a person darling? Well what happened? What can he do to help? Did you loose something? He’ll turn into a mad man causing chaos around town looking for it! Did it drop into the ocean? He swims as deep as he needs to in order to find it.
Honestly he even babies you about little stuff :P you stubbed your toe? Want him to massage it for you? That’s it! He’s breaking out the foot spa! Take off your socks and shoes!
he did something that really upset you?! Tell him what it is right away! He’ll make sure he never steps outta line ever again! He *kiss* never *kiss* meant *kiss* to *kiss* upset *kiss* you *kiss*~
Never feel hesitation to tell him if something’s wrong with you physically “Chopper! Come check them out right now!! They say somethings’ wrong!”
Nor mentally! You’ve been going through some tough times these last few months?! Sit down and tell him everything!! Let’s get to the root of this! Together! Is it someone else?? Did it happen from something??
Even if you aren’t feeling negative emotions right now always feel free to rant to him about what’s making you happy! he’d love to hear it truly! He loves your voice even more~ 🥰 *nose bleed*
Dating Sanji includes 5 star meals.
another thing we all know. And in every headcanon- but seriously what’s all your favorite meals, snacks and desserts? Even if Luffy himself says to make one thing he might make another just because he knows you like it. That guy eats anything anyway so he might as well just make what you like! 🧑‍🍳
Dating Sanji includes overly cheesy confessions despite the fact that your already and only dating.
”My dearest..I would love if you would go out with me and make this evening the loveliest of my days! I’d wholeheartedly accept and put my all into cooking for our first date….My love and affection with herb and spice…the flavor of our intense compatibility will melt on your tongue every bite you take! Guaranteed!”
”Sanji….we’ve been dating for xyz months/years now..”
”ahhh~ Even to the blossoms of this beautiful spring day know we’re simply destined to be..! Getting married tomorrow..it’s been my dream since we’ve first met! I can see it already, smell it even..! The enchanting scene of you walking down the isle, putting your hands in mine…kiss! The happiest day of my life has officially been sealed! Everyone’s clapping! Cheering! Whoop woo’s arise in the air of our love!~ The 6 layer cake I spent every ounce of my time baking since I met you, on the side of us—predicting our perfect wedding kiss! An exact model of the scene~ It brings a tear to my eye! I hope I don’t keep you up tonight, my darling love! Because I certainly won’t be able to sleep when I’m much too busy imagining the scene over and over again until our big day tomorrow, the same one I’ve been replaying in my head since I first laid eyes on you~ 😚”
”what on EARTH Sanji. We’re only dating! Wha- What do I even say to this?!”
”you could say yes! My lovely future spouse!~ 😍😍”
”To what! You haven’t even properly proposed to me yet?! Let alone made it official⁉️“
”ohh my honey! I didn’t know you wanted to get married- the wind! The sea! The birds even know our fate! We-“
”ALRIGHT!”
”SHUT IT SEAWEED HEAD!! DON’T INTERUPT ME WHILE IM CONFESSING MY LOVE to the most wonderful soul to have ever lived~”
⚔️🗡🔥💥💥💥⚔️🗡🔥💥⚔️🗡💥💥🔥
(Sanji and zoro fighting :3)
Dating Sanji includes sure fire protection.
no one will ever lay a hand on you. For a man? Self explanatory. Blast that motha sucka to space.💥 For a woman?? Welll…he’ll take all the hits for you okay?! So run away and go get Nami or Robin!! Hurry darling!
Dating Sanji includes trust.
more than anything he trusts you with his deepest darkest secrets. There’s no front when it’s just you two around, purely him. Not telling you his lineage was because he wanted to put that behind him..it wasn’t supposed to come back up. And man is he the most sorry sucker on earth when he betrays the strawhats. Because that means he’s betraying you. Pleasepleasepleasetakehimbackplease.
Uh guys I ran out of characters I’m gonna do a part two I guess 😭… I didn’t want to thooo
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elliezato · 8 months ago
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❀˙⋆Summer With You⋆˙❀
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Pairing: Ellie x Reader
-Modern au!
Summary: You and your friends decide to rent out a cabin on the beach over the summer. This was your last summer before leaving for college, so you wanted to make it memorable. This summer was going to be perfect. You spent your days in the water, taking In the moments in the sun with your friends.
It didn't take long for you to realize your feelings for your best friend Ellie.
The way her wet hair drips down her shoulders as she gets out of the water. The way her fingers strum the guitar as you gather around the fire. The way the stars light her eyes during late night swims. The way her smile grows when she’s with her girlfriend… It's all too much.
Will these feelings ruin your friendship and the whole summer? What will happen when it's time to leave Ellie behind for college?
Word Count: 4.4k
⋆˚✿˖°
a/n: Im back!! I've been in the summer mood recently and I just need to be laying out by the lake rn. I recently read "SYNS" by carmellie and was inspired to make this! I've really been wanting to write a slow burn, angst fic so I hope this turns out good.
I will probably split this story into a few parts depending on how long I want this to be.
This will be my first real fic because honestly I've only written smut in the past and I'm not sure if I like writing stuff like that. I might add a little bit of it every now and then in my stories but it's not something I want to continue to write.
Anyway, I'm super exited for this story! Please give me ideas for future chapters! I love to hear feedback on how to improve or what you guys like.
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Packing your bag was the only thing you weren't looking forward to doing on this trip. You always over packed and struggled to fit everything in your bags. Clothes and shoes were thrown all over your room as you pick out what you should pack. This trip is going to be 2 months long so you need enough clothes to last through the summer but not too much that your car will be over flowing.
"Eww, do not bring that" Dina says in disgust as you hold up an old one piece bathing suit from freshmen year.
You knew she was right, but you didn't have many options when It came to bathing suits. You packed it anyway, along with some other suits from the previous summer. The sun shined through your window, lighting up the room. It was almost noon and you needed to leave soon. The drive to the cabin would take the majority of the day so there wasn't much time to waste.
Dina helped you load your car with your bags. There wasn't a lot of room in the trunk but you two made it work. You slam the truck shut, making sure it wouldn't pop open from all the clothes. Your parents hug you goodbye in your drive way as you and Dina get ready to leave.
You get into your car and put the top of your convertible down. The breeze felt nice in your hair as you drove off. Music plays as you sing your heart out. This was going to be a good trip, you could feel it. Dina pulls out her digital camera and snaps a pic of you driving as your hair blows in the wind. Your sun glasses reflect the trees lining the road.
It's been a long time since you've been on a nice trip. Let alone with all your friends. Nerves start to build as you get closer to the cabin. Ellie and Jesse were supposed to meet you there. Recently it's been awkward with Ellie. Usually you two could talk for hours and spend every second together but things have been different.
⋆˚✿˖°
You noticed this sudden shift in your friendship during one of your sleepovers a few months ago. Ellie was sitting on the floor of your bedroom while you were getting ready for bed. She starts going on a rant about this girl she's been thinking about asking out. You don't know what happened but in that moment you felt this strange rage fill in your heart.
Ellie has always been open about girls she finds attractive but she's never made any moves. The thought of your best friend dating another girl upset you for some reason. You've never felt this before and decided to just let it go.
"She so pretty y/n! Like I really think I'm going to make my move" Ellie scrolls on her phone as she talks to you.
You look into the mirror while washing the rest of the soap off your face. "Go for it Els, you could probably pull anyone"
"Yeah, I know" Ellie says sarcastically, now putting down her phone.
She walks over to you and meets your gaze in the reflection on the bathroom mirror. Your eyes revert down to the counter. For some reason you felt your body tremble as she got closer. You couldn't understand why you were acting like this. You've known Ellie your whole life and never saw her as anything other than your best friend.
She picks up her toothbrush and you leave the bathroom. You lay in bed waiting for Ellie to finish in the bathroom. She noticed the sudden change in your demeanor. After a few minutes your friend turns off the lights and lays nexts to you in bed.
"You ok?" Ellie turns to look at you. Her hand rubs up and down your arm.
"Yeah, Im just tired" You lied. You were wide awake but the thoughts of Ellie swarmed your mind.
Things have been like this ever since then. Every time you guys hung out, you two always end up in awkward situations. You hated the fact that things felt like this. You almost convinced yourself that maybe your friendship isn't as strong and it use to be. Maybe you two are drifing apart. You prayed that this wasn't the case but it was the only logical way to explain the distance between you two.
⋆˚✿˖°
"Can we pull over? I have to pee and Im starving" Dina throws her head back into the seat.
"Yeah, I need to get gas anyway" You pull into a gas station and Dina runs in as you follow shortly behind her.
The area was very unfamiliar. There wasn't many people around. You walk inside the convince store and pick out a few snacks and your friend finishes up in the bathroom. You look over to pick out what you want and see a package of watermelon sour patch kids. These were Ellie's favorite. You guys use to walk to the gas station when you were younger and eat these on the curb in the summer heat.
You pick up two bags, one for yourself and one to give Ellie when you see her later tonight. Dina grabs her snacks and you pay. You quickly fill up your tank and get back onto the road. You put the top of your conferable back up now that it's getting darker and the air is cooling down.
The rest of the drive was quiet. Dina slept as you listed to music softly. Superache by Conan filled the car as your mind thought about Ellie. She was all you could think about for the rest of the drive. You were excited to see her, hoping she felt the same.
A few hours later you pull into the driveway of the cabin. You looked at the familiar car already in front of you.
"It looks like they're already here" You nudge Dina, trying to wake her.
You text the group chat, letting your friends know you arrived. As you get out of the car to help unload all your bags you hear your name being called out from a small distance. You look up and see Ellie and Jesse walking towards you to greet you and help with the bags.
"Y/N!! You guys took long enough." Ellie pulls you into a tight hug and then turns to Dina to welcome her.
Your eyes were glued to Ellie. She was dressed in a pair of jorts that ended a few inches above her knees. Her shirt displayed the album cover of her favorite band she took you to see last semester. She wore her old converse that probably need to be replaced sometime soon.
You guys walk into the cabin with all the bags. It was beautiful. Trees surround the land and fireflies lit up every now and then around the house. You could see a glimpse of the ocean from the front. You walk into the cabin and place your bags onto the floor.
"You guys have to see the view!" Ellie grabs your wrist to bring you to the backyard.
Dina and Jesse followed as Ellie opened the backdoor for everyone. As she opened the door you were met with the view of the beach in the distance. Lanterns lit the path leading down to a fire pit. Lights were strung across the yard, lighting up every inch. You closed your eyes and listened to the waves crashing in the distance and the bugs humming from the trees.
"Holy shit. This is insane!" Your eyes light up thinking about all the memories that are about to be made here.
"Lets go down to the beach!" Jesse says as he's already sprinting down to the sand.
"I'll be there in a minute, Im going to change into a bathing suit." You begin to walk back inside until you feel a tug on your arm.
"Come onnnn!" Ellie drags you down to the beach with everyone else.
There wasn't anyone on the beach. It was more of a reserved area for residents only. You kick off your shoes as you stumble down to the water. You watch as your friends run into the waves laughing and taking in the moment. Ellie looks over at you from the water smiling, motioning you to come in. You roll your eyes and walk into the water. It was oddly warm. You cringe at the fact you're still dressed in your clothes from the drive here.
You suddenly gasp as you feel yourself getting pushed into the water. "Hey!" You sit as waves crash over you.
Ellie looks down at you and laughs but it doesn't last long before Jesse pushes her in. "What the fuck!"
You're now laughing at the sight of her drenched in the water. She grabs your hand and helps you up as you two are now dripping wet. You look up and notice how bright the stars are here. Back home you can barely see the stars. The city isn't the best place for star gazing. You can feel your body start to shiver.
The wet cloths that cling to your body get colder by each second. Ellie notices and pulls you close. "Lets go back up and change"
You take your bag of clothes and bring it it your room. Your eyes widen when you realize the room you were sharing with Ellie only has one bed. You don't understand why you're in shock. You've shared a bed with Ellie many times in your life but for some reason you felt weird about it.
"Nice right?" She says as she walks past you into the room.
The room was nice. It was open and had big windows looking out to the ocean. You place your bags down next to the bed and pull out a pair of pjs. You feel her eyes on you as you walk to the bathroom to shower and change for the night.
You take your time getting unready. Turing on the shower as you slip out of your wet clothes. The water is hot and feels nice against your shivering skin. Fingers run through your scalp as you wash out the salty water, tasting it on your lips as it washes over your face.
You dry off your body and put on fresh clothes. You throw your wet hair up into a towel as you wash your face. As you exit the bathroom you notice Ellie is no longer in the room. You walk downstairs to the kitchen to see all your friends sitting at the island laughing.
"Were ordered pizza, I hope that's fine" Dina says smiling, then returning to her conversation
"Im literally starving, I could fuck up some pizza right now" You say as you sit and join them at the island.
"I think Cat is going to join us for a week. She's supposed to be here next Saturday" Ellie looks at you waiting for a reaction.
You immediately feel a frown forming on your face. You hated Cat. You hated how she practically stole Ellie from you, and now she's coming on your trip!? Ever since Ellie made her move on Cat they've been inseparable. She never referred to Cat as her girlfriend but you knew it was coming. The way Ellie looks at her. It hurts. You figured it was just because she doesn't spend all her time with you anymore. Maybe you're just jealous that Ellie's time is being taken up by someone else.
You were looking forward to spending time with Ellie on this trip and now she's inventing Cat? You felt your heart drop at the thought of Ellie spending the next week with her.
"That's exciting" You say as you force a smile but it's clear your upset.
Suddenly there's a knock at the door. "That's probably the pizza" Jesse gets up and walks to the front door.
You make your way over to the living room with a box of pizza in your hands. You place the box down on the coffee table next to the other boxes. Ellie hands you a glass of water as she takes a seat next to you on the couch.
"What movie are we watching?" You feel Ellie's body shift next to you as she grabs the remote to scroll through the options.
"Want to rewatch Bottoms? I don't think Dina or Jesse have seen it yet."
"YES!" She searches up the movie and hits rent without any hesitation.
⋆˚✿˖°
The night was nice. You rested your head on Ellies shoulder as you watch the movie. The boxes of pizza are practically empty except for the left over crust from Ellie that she refuses to eat. The movie was almost over and you could feel your eyes getting tired. You've already seen this move a million times so you decided to go ahead and go to bed.
"Where are you going" Ellie looks up at you as you remove yourself from her arms.
"Im going to head up to bed. Im tired from driving all day. I'll see you guys in the morning" You smile and say goodnight to Jesse and Dina.
"Okay, goodnight! I'll be up there right when the movie ends." She gives you a soft smile in return.
The bed was comfortable. It was easy to get settled in as you wait for Ellie's presence. Your eyes close as you wait for her. You could feel yourself drifting off until you hear the sound of the door opening. Your body turns towards the door and you open your eyes to see Ellie walking into the room.
"Sorry, did I wake you up" She quietly closes the door.
"No, I was still up." You watch as she pulls out her toothbrush from her bag and walks to the bathroom.
She eventually joins you in bed. Her body was close. You could feel her settling into the mattress. The widow was slightly open, allowing the sound of the waves crashing to fill the room. The fan kept the room at a cool temperature as you pull the covers higher up your body.
"Do you like Cat" Ellie breaks the silence and turns to face you in the bed waiting for a response.
Her face was close. You could feel her gentle breath on your cheeks as she waited for you to answer. You knew you couldn't tell her the truth. She's your best friend. There's no reason for you dislike Cat, but you did, but you couldn't tell her that.
"Yeah. Why?" Your response was cold and blunt.
"You just always change the subject when I bring her up or you just seem to always get upset." She frowns. "I just really want you to like her because I think I'm going to make things official with her."
You almost was to cry when you hear those words come out of her mouth. Your heart aches. You knew this was coming but you prayed it wouldn't happen. You wished things would fall through between them. You hated that you felt this way. You wanted Ellie to be happy. You really did but you've been letting your emotions get in the way.
"Do whatever you want Ellie" You turn to face the opposite way. You didn't mean for your response to come out as harsh as it did, but it was too late.
"This is exactly what I was talking about. I don't understand why you're being like this" Her voice is harsh. "Ever since I told you about Cat you've been so distant. I don't know why you're being like this but clearly you need space."
You feel her get up from the bed. "Where are you going?" You sit up and look at her.
"Giving you space. You obviously are upset with me and I don't know why." She gets up and leaves the room.
You lay back down on your back as the tears that formed in your eyes begin to fall down your cheeks. Her words stung but she was right. You feel bad for being so short with Ellie, she doesn't deserve it. Your whole life you and Ellie have been so close. You told each other everything. The reason your friendship is changing was because of you.
After tossing and turning in the empty bed for a while you look over at your bag and see the candy you bought for Ellie but forgot to give her. You decide to get up and find her, still feeling bad about earlier. The room was dark and hard to navigate but you found the door. You walk downstairs to see Ellie laying on the couch. She's wrapped up in a small blanket, sleeping softly. You sit on the edge of the couch and look at her with a feeling of guilt settling in your stomach.
"y/n?" She slowly opens her eyes and looks at you.
"Im sorry Els." You look at her with damp eyes. "Im sorry I've been so distant and I'm sorry for being rude." You wipe your tears trying to gain composer.
Ellie sits up and wraps her arms around you, bringing you close to her body. She wipes your tears as she holds you. "Stop crying. Im not mad at you, Im just confused."
"I know and Im sorry" You rest your head on her chest.
You eventually lay down on the couch with her. There isn't too much room but you make it work. Your bodies press against each other as you close your eyes. Her arms are wrapped around your waist, still trying to calm you down. You quickly fall asleep, feeling that your friendship is returning to what it once was.
⋆˚✿˖°
You wake up alone on the couch, hearing chatter from the kitchen. Sitting up and looking over you see your friends making breakfast. The air smells of salt and pancakes.
"Look who's finally up" Jesse says teasingly as he flips a pancake.
"You hungry?" Ellie asks as she holds up a plate of food she had already prepared for you.
You get up from the couch and sit at the table. The kitchen had huge windows that had the perfect view on the backyard and the beach. The cabin was so pretty during the day. The sunlight lit up the whole house. You look up as you see Ellie placing a plate in front of you. She sits down and joins you for breakfast.
"Do you have any plans in mind for today" She looks up at you as she takes a bite of pineapple.
"I really want to explore this area and go to the beach." You smile at her as you spread the butter on your pancakes.
You put on your bathing suit and then some shorts over as a coverup. The weather was hot but not humid. There was nice breeze outside. There were a bunch of beach bikes on the side of the cabin for guest so you and your friends decided to explore on them.
Wind blew through your hair as you rode down the dirt paths from the cabin to the nearest sidewalk. Music played through Ellie's speakers as you rode. You eventually came across a small beach town with restaurants and shops. There were people walking through with friends and family enjoying the start of summer break.
You tied your bikes to a post and decided to walk around. "This place is so cute!" You take out you phone to take some pictures.
Dina points out a small local coffee shop and starts walking towards it. You guys enter the shop and order coffees to start your morning. Ellie wasn't a huge coffee person so she got a refresher.
"Els you need to try this!" You hand her your drink waiting for her to take a sip.
"No thanks. I really don't like coffee" She pushes your drink away.
"Seriously Ellie, its so good, you have to try it" You push your cup back into her hands.
She hands you her drink so you can try it as she takes a sip of your coffee. "This is disgusting!" She cringes as the taste of coffee lingers in her mouth.
She takes her drink back and washes out the bitter taste of coffee from her mouth. The coffee wasn't even strong, it was mostly washed out with a sugary creamer. You laugh watching Ellie's reaction to the coffee and took it back from her hands.
The town was small so it didn't take long to explore it. You guys planned on trying every restaurant here over the summer. The breeze from the ocean felt nice. The air smelt of salt and coffee.
You and your friends got back onto your bikes and rode down to the beach. The weather was starting to get warmer as noon approached. You set you bike up again the beach entrance and step onto the sand. You take off your shoes and toss them into your bag and walk down to the water. Ellie follows shortly behind and sits down on the towel that Dina places on the warm sand.
You join Ellie on the towel as Dina and Jesse head towards the water. "Im sorry about last night, I was just tired. I don't even remember why I was upset." You say looking at Ellie as she takes a sip of her drink.
"Y/n, it's really ok, I'm not mad. I just want us to go back to how we use to be" She admits as she meets your gaze.
"Me too" You smile and rest your head on her shoulder as you watch your friends splashing each other in the waves.
⋆˚✿˖°
The first week was perfect. You spent your days at the beach and cooking out in the backyard of the cabin. Jesse and Ellie set up hammocks in the back, so you guys could star gaze and talk until the sun starts to rise. Things were going better than you imagined. Your relationship with Ellie was better than ever. You two did everyone together.
"Cats going to be here in a few minutes!" Ellie impatiently checks her phone waiting for Cat's arrival text.
You sit at the island finishing your breakfast. The windows were open, allowing the fresh air to calm you down. You've been dreading this since Ellie first brought up the fact that Cat was even visiting. The thought of Ellie spending all her time with Cat made you sick. You didn't want to lash out again so you kept your feelings to yourself.
A ding from Ellie's phone interrupted your conversation followed by a loud knock at the door. "She's here!" Ellie jumped from her seat and walked over to the front door.
Cat stood at the entrance with her bag. She was dressed in shorts and a tank top with an opened button down on top. You took in the image of Ellie's face lighting up as she looked Cat up and down. You watched as she pulled her into a tight hug. Ellie leaded her into the kitchen with everyone else.
"Hi guys! Thanks for letting me stay for a few days" She smiles and then looks at you.
You return the smile but its obvious you're annoyed. Cat takes the hint and turns back too Ellie. They walk upstairs so she could put up her bags.
Dina looks over at you with a frown. "You ok y/n?"
"Yeah... why?" You look at her with a confused and saddened expression.
Dina caught on to your feelings for Ellie a long time ago. You've never admitted to them because honestly you never thought of Ellie in that way. At least not until recently. It's all been so confusing.
"She's only going to be here for five days, it'll go by fast" Dina tries to reassure you but it just makes things worse.
"I know, I think we'll have fun. And Ellie's happy" You try to convince your friends you're ok, and maybe you're trying to convince yourself too.
Ellie returns downstairs with Cats hand in hers. The sight makes you want to cry but you suck in your feelings and try to avoid them. You knew these next few days would be hard. Not only did you have to watch your best friend fall in love with someone else but you had to get rid of any feelings you have for her.
You didn't even know you liked her but it makes sense now. It's all coming together. Why did you feel this way? You've known Ellie all your life. Why are you just now realizing these feelings? The way she makes you feel when her fingers are running through your hair. The way she holds you close at night. The way she immediately drops everything when you need her.
Your thoughts shatter in your mind when you see Cats lips against Ellie's. You can't help but sit and stare. Ellie never told you they were official yet. Why didn't she tell you?
Your emotions took over and you left. You didn't know where you were going but your keys were in your hand and you were already half way to you car.
"Y/n!? Where are you going?" Ellie follows you as you walk out the door. Cat standing behind. She stands at the door frame as she watches you pull out of the drive way.
The air was much needed. You drove down the roads of the beach. tears building up in your eyes. You had hopes that this drive would distract you but the only thing on your mind was Ellie. Why did you let your feelings get the best of you again. She clearly doesn't like you. She has Cat.
You find yourself sitting in a cafe looking out at the beach. The thoughts Ellie holding you floods your mind. You hate yourself for feeling like this. What would she think if she knew about how you felt? Would this ruin everything between you two? Would your friendship be over for good?
You immediately snap out of your thoughts as you look down and notice a text from Ellie.
⋆˚✿˖°
a/n: Thank you for reading!! Im already working on the next chapter. I hope my writing gets stronger as I write more because I feel like this could be more detailed:( Please, please, pleaseeee give me feedback! I love hearing others opinions! Im excited to continue this story because honestly I have no idea where the plot is going to go yet. The next chapters should be longer as they come out. Im not expecting this to be too long but let me know what you guys want for the future chapters!<3
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nyoomfruits · 4 months ago
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‘shush’ maxoscar or lestappen!
[ shush ] for a kiss to silence the other party
“The lease on my apartment is ending,” Oscar says, drops it in the middle of Max’s weirdly fond rant about the cats having developed the ability to open doors and using it mostly for evil. They’re sitting on the couch in Max’s apartment, Max’s toes tucked under Oscar’s thigh, Oscar’s feet resting on the little pouf in front of the couch. They’re both holding a half-eaten plate of stir fry, one of the few dishes Max can make without making Oscar wince repeatedly, half-watching an old episode of Friends on the TV.
“Oh,” Max says, frowns. “The Monaco one, you mean?”
Oscar nods. He got it last year, when he was in his second year of F1 still, and even though he’d just signed a multi-year contract with McLaren, it had felt presumptions, to assume this was going to be his home for a long time. And so he’d rented an apartment, just for the year, and see how he felt after.
And then Max had happened, right after the Hungary Grand Prix. Oscar had bumped into him at the party, mixed feelings about his own win, Max angry about his race, and they’d collided in something that was really only meant to blow off steam, on both sides really.
But then it had happened again. And again. And again. And then Oscar had started sleeping over at Max’s place more and more. They started spending time between races together, they started spending all of their time between races together. Oscar has a key now, to Max’s place, right next to the keys to his own apartment. One he hasn’t really been to in the past three months or so.
One of which the lease is ending soon.
“Yeah,” Oscar says. And he’s not asking any questions, because he’s bad at asking these questions, but Max has always been exceptional at reading him, so.
“Well, we will have sell most of the furniture, I think,” Max says, placing his fork down, because he still refuses to try and eat noodles with chopsticks. “Unless you want to keep some of it. But I hope not. That couch is quite ugly.”
“Thanks, Max,” Oscar says, but he can’t help but smile behind his own bite of noodle. It is a bit of an ugly couch, truth to be told. He hadn’t put that much thought into styling his apartment, just let the stylist at the store decide what he needed.
“You’re welcome,” Max says, smiling. “Anyway, do you think we would need a truck? Your clothes are mostly here already, we’ll have to take some of the decorations and stuff, the trophy’s obviously. Do you still have those plates from the one time I actually came over to your place for lunch? I quite liked those, maybe bring those. Maybe a truck is a bit much, I can ask Lando, he has this ridiculously large Range Rover for some reason, he might let me borrow it, we can shove all the stuff in the back. It’s not that far from your apartment to here, so it’s shouldn’t take us that long-“
And that’s, belatedly, when it hits Oscar. What Max is talking about. Why he’s so concerned about Oscar’s furniture and how he’s going to move it all and what he’s going to keep. Because to Max, the only really logical explanation is that he moves here. All Oscar had wanted was to open the conversation, talk about their future maybe. But to Max, their future has always been crystal clear.
It’s them. It’s here. It’s forever.
Oscar purposely puts his plate aside, leans forward, slow deliberate, takes Max’s plate away from him as well, and then, right in the middle of Max’s rant about Oscar’s decorative bed pillows, kisses him full on the mouth.
“Hey,” Max says, when he pulls away, looking slightly confused. “What was that for?”
“I love you,” Oscar says, because he doesn’t really know how else to say ‘I want that too’ and ‘thank you for everything you are’ and ‘you are my favorite person in the whole world’.
Max smiles, slow and soft and fond, and presses another kiss to Oscar’s lips. “I love you too,” he says, and then, just because he’s Max, adds, “Roomie.”
Oscar laughs, one that releases all the tension he’d been feeling about bringing this up, let’s his head fall forward against Max’s chest, takes in the familiar scent of laundry detergent and Max. “Don’t,” he warns.
Max laughs too, rubs his hand over Oscar’s back as Oscar picks his head off of Max’s chest and leans in for another slow, long kiss.
Roomies. Oscar will take it, if that means he gets to have this.
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mimiyewaffles · 6 months ago
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A FEW INTERESTING THINGS
I guess I need help
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
So if y'all dont know, I'm trying to revise my boyfriend's d3ath.
It's been two months since I have been affirming and a few days since I got into the concept of void. Now, I'm trying to get into the void.
I've noticed a few crazy things, that I would love to share.
I've always affirmed that “everyone will forget about my boyfriend's demise because it was just my nightmare and no such thing ever happened. He's all alive and healthy” So I guess my affirmations are kinda playing out.
1.
When I got to know about his demise, I sent him like 100 texts that day, I was so emotional and poured down everything to him. He not only is my boyfriend, but also is my best friend. The bestest friend ever and it was the worst day of my life. I was never ready to lose him.
I sent those 100 texts to him on Snapchat and obviously, my texts were just delivered. Nobody read them because that "nobody" Was long gone. I'm talking about feb, 2024. So I checked his snapchat after a few days of emotional ranting, and those texts didn't show up. I thought it might be a glitch and now after like 3 months, I went back to check on him because I missed him and guess what? ALL OF THOSE TEXTS ARE GONE!
Now idk if I'm tweaking but wtf? Snapchat has this feature where messages get deleted after 24 hours of being seen. But nobody saw my messages to begin with, where are those texts????
Like... All the snaps, that were sent before those texts and even after those texts are still in delivered, not seen.
Can anyone tell me if this is a glitch? This couldn't be, right? It's been 3 months to that incident, if it were glitch, it would have been fixed by now but idk-
2.
My bf would post about his travelling and stuffs in Instagram reels and I often visit his account to look at him all alive once again and one day, I noticed one of his reels cover has changed 💀 and I even showed it to my sister and friend and they were shocked too. I thought it might be a glitch too. But it stayed like that for 3 days and then switched back to what it was before.
This might be a glitch idk honestly but my friend said it might be a "timeline/dimensions overlapping"
3.
Two of my close friends are really logical minded and I never told them about my manifestation/shifting to a reality where my bf never got into an accident, because they wouldn't believe me. They don't even believe in multiple realities... So, not worth it.
A week ago, I texted one of these friends, saying that I feel like my bf is alive (emotional ranting) and all she told me was to hold up and move on, I'm thinking way too much 😮‍💨
And that's that. We didn't talk much about it.
After a few days of that, she texted me herself telling me that she feels the same. She feels as if my bf is alive too and maybe faking a death. We didn't get into the conclusion but yeah, we are still in doubt.
Also I would daydream about meeting my bf once again and i would make infinite possibilities to proof my reasoning mind that he's alive. So one of my imagination was my friend texting my bf's brother (they have nothing in common, they don't even know each other yet I imagined them talking) and his brother would say that my boyfriend is actually alive. And that scene exactly happened, except for the alive part. my friend talked to his brother to get his "last" Pics and guess what? They don't have that. Which is super weird because that accident just happened this year and those photos are gone. I texted one of his other brother who always replies to my texts and always give me updates about how their family is grieving but when I asked about pics, he left me on seen— again very weird.
Moreover, all of them (his family members) have moved on completely. They are enjoying and travelling. Idk how but like in a month of my bf's demise, they started partying a stuff which is super weird to me.
.....
I guess my affirmations are kinda becoming true. My 3D is maybe conforming slowly (?) Idk 😭
Lemme know what y'all think. Any tips on revising such thing would be appreciated. Thanks for reading 🎐
I'm sorry if I don't make any sense, I'm probably being delusional. Sorry for the rant 🥲🤌
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coolnameloading · 9 months ago
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Lute x Fem! Reader Part 2
Part 2 of Lute x Sinner Reader story yaaaay
Over the last few months, the hotel has been in what you can only describe as organized chaos. The hotel gained a new resident in Sir Pentious who was a spy for the Vee’s and then wasn’t or something. Charlie reassured you constantly that Pentious was not working for the Vee’s anymore and you had nothing to worry about.
But those sick fucks have been chasing you for longer than any of the other overlords so you’d rather be more safe than sorry. 
After that particular event, you started to feel less safe in the hotel. 
You heard Vox, he tried to infiltrate the only place where you’ve felt safe since you got to the literal hell hole and he tried to send in a fucking spy who Charlie just let walk in instantly after he had attacked the hotel twice.
Who knows what would have happened to you….all of you if Angel Dust hadn’t seen him planting those stupid cameras? 
You love Charlie, she’s nice and she gave you a place to stay. Being mad at her is like being mad at a puppy but all you could keep thinking about for the rest of the month was wondering if Vox saw you.
If the Vee’s know where you are.
If they’ll come looking for you.
What they might do to you if they do catch you.
You had a close call with Velvette one time and one time was enough for the rest of your afterlife. Bitch tried to color-match your fucking fur! You’re pretty sure the only reason you got away was because she was drunk off her British ass.
Vaggie could tell right away that there was something wrong with you and tried to reassure you.
“He didn’t see you Chesh”
She whispered approaching you slowly. 
“You don’t know that boss! What if he did? He could be on his way right now with the other two and he already beat the radio demon once! I need to lea-”
Vaggie cut off your rant by placing her hand on your shoulder gently and pushing you down to sit on the couch.
“Charlie and I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. We promised when you started staying here that we’d keep you safe and we will. You don’t need to run.”
“Thanks, boss… I’m sorry for freaking out. It just really shook me up, I guess.”
You mumbled out, blushing at how pathetic you sound. 
You may not remember much about your life but you’re pretty sure you died sometime in your 20’s. Yet here you are whimpering pathetically and having to get comforted over a fucking video camera. 
After that incident you became more jumpy, every sound put you on edge, and it was worse whenever you were around any form of technology that didn’t look like it was from before the 1980s.
The others tried their best to calm you down in their own ways. Angel Dust started leaving his phone in his room because you’d flinch every time he got a text or phone call from Valentino. 
“Don’t make a big deal outa it, he was annoying me too.”
Husk would keep your favorite booze on standby at all times, when you’d thank him he’d simply grin at you and say, 
“Us feline demons got to stick together.”
Alastor was happy to throw out any and every piece of technology that would make you tense up even slightly, which included most of Pentious’ weapons and very nearly his airship. 
He obviously wasn’t doing it for you but it still felt nice.
“Don’t worry my friend! I’ll happily get rid of these infernal contraptions! I’ve always believed they lacked class anyway.”
Pentious recognized his part in your new-found anxiety and tried to gain your trust by handing his machines to Alastor with many, many, many tears.
“I am more than happy to…give up my arsenal as an apology for invading your persssssonal boundariessss.” He’d hissed out while trying to hold his tears back.
You couldn’t really be mad at him after that.
Nifty even volunteered to go out and ‘hunt phones’ for you.
You said no but that didn’t stop her from bringing you the….remains of some people’s phones.
 “Sometimes I kill mother phones in front of their children as a warning to the other phones!”
“Niffty phones don’t have mothers.”
“Hehe, not anymore…”
Charlie was actually very happy to see how the others stepped in to help you and she was very proud of them even if their methods were…unorthodox.
But that lead her into a spiral. She was desperately trying to figure out why the hotel wasn’t working even though everybody showed considerable improvement.
This leads to her talking with her dad, which somehow leads to you being here in heaven.
“Um, boss why exactly am I here?”
You ask Vaggie nervously, glancing around at the pastel clouds around you. God you haven’t seen pastels in years.
Vaggie looks over at you and sighs, “Well Charlie figured you wouldn’t want to go out with the others and you wouldn’t like to stay in the hotel alone so this was the best option.”
You nod, understanding her point but on the other hand.
“And the…exorcists?”
Vaggie’s shoulders tense for a moment before she looks away from you and mumbles, “I have a feeling they won’t do anything even if we do run into them.”
You want to ask more questions but decide against it, today was stressful enough as it is without you asking stupid questions. 
“Whatever you say, boss.”
You whisper following behind Vaggie and Charlie as they enter the gates of heaven after another fucking song. 
Is it just you? Are you the weird one? Should you be singing more often?
The three of you follow behind the two seraphim, Emily and Sera, while they give you a tour of heaven. Charlie looks completely enamored by the place but Vaggie looks annoyed, as if the pastel clouds had offended her personally.
And you…well honestly you feel a little underwhelmed.
Heaven looks like a glorified mall so far, a mall with strippers because there are way more people walking around shirtless than you thought there would be. 
So you keep trailing behind Vaggie, Charlie, and the angels when you see someone who looks familiar.
She’s a cat demon like you, same color pallet and everything, except she seems much shorter and has a pair of pastel-blue angel wings coming out of her back.
You end up drifting away from the group and start following the small cat angel through the crowds. 
Eventually, you get close enough to reach out and tap her but when you’re about to get her attention you feel a firm hand on your shoulder and you get pulled away roughly and pinned to one of the walls.
You’re completely disoriented for a moment and then you hear a familiar annoying voice.
“Well, well, well look what the cat dragged in.”
You look up to see Adam and Lute, Adam has a wide smirk on his face and Lute looks….wow.
She’s not wearing her helmet so this time you get to admire her completely.
You’d probably be happier about her pinning you to a wall if she wasn’t also holding a giant spear to your neck.
Then again…-
Yeah, it’s still pretty hot.
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my-mt-heart · 2 months ago
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Idk how to say this but I am not as bothered about whatever is going to transpire between Daryl and Isabelle (bcoz for one thing - we know what is going to happen in the end- and for another - I honestly believe that the male execs are not at all confident abt their vision for these two as they would like to be and the whole thing would prolly boil down to ambiguity and ultimately- it will fall upon the viewers to dissect how Daryl feels - the Caryl fandom especially is really adept at reading into storylines - even stupid ones) None of this is good by any means. It cheapens the integrity of all the characters involved. It blatantly insults and reduces female characters - I believe that Isabelle deserves better. That a story should hold space for multiple female characters. Also - I am worried about putting the fate and the story of one the best female characters on TV (Carol) in the hands of someone who has proven that he can't be trusted to handle them with care. Reading S2 reviews - I am sort of reassured that Carol is treated well enough in the story - which I believe - has a LOT to do with Melissa McBride's input. Going forward - it is going to be more difficult bcoz once we have dealt with old traumas - we do need to evolve these characters and make sure they don't stay stagnant. I don't believe Zabel has the chops to do that.
sorry for that rant. I am just really frustrated.
What I worry about is the way all of this bts stuff amongst the male execs is going to impact the Caryl dynamic. Whatever the antis may think - and while McReedus has insane chemistry - I do believe that the romantic energy is generated between them by a lot of their acting choices (bcoz the underlying story is teasing a romance). What happens to all that when a romance is completely off the table? When AMC has been pushing this friendship narrative down our throats in a very evident bid to do damage control - the insecure/defensive promo that we have been getting last few weeks is proof enough that Caryl was always more than friends?
The problems were already glaringly obvious from the very beginning. the fact that Melissa isn't billed equally for a season where she is proclaimed to be the major focus? It is not even about Caryl going canon for me anymore. I love Melissa and Carol way too much for me to give up yet but I treasure the Caryl bond primarily bcoz they have always been each other's everything. it is truly a bond that evades definition. Both Carol and Daryl doesn't have what they have with each other with anyone. THAT IS A CANON FACT. I don't think I can watch that dynamic that I treasure so much being butchered - s11 was painful enough - I can't go through all of that and more again.
Going to watch s2 and then my further commitment will depend entirely upon how the characters are treated and their dynamic is portrayed?
It sucks that I am dreading watching Carol and Daryl back together on screen.
been here just for a few months but the way AMC has been fumbling with this promo - have you guys always experienced this whiplash or is it a new thing?
I’m going to include big spoilers in my response, so proceed with caution ⚠️
I respect your opinion, but I disagree with you on the point about Daryl’s and Isabelle’s arc. It seems like the male EPs (Zabel, Nicotero, Gimple) are overly confident that an explicit romance between their male hero and a younger blonde nun who accused Daryl of being like his abusive father just for trying to go home to his family will attract a larger male audience and they aren’t sparing any feelings with it because we aren’t their ideal audience anyway. To them, we’re just a bunch of “hysterical” shippers whose POV’s don’t matter and we can just take their crumbs. AMC is a bit more complicated, but I’ll get to them later.
Daryl and the nun kiss in 202, so there’s little to no room for us to dissect how Daryl is feeling. Isabelle’s death is the furthest thing from a relief because 1) it reduces her character down to man pain like you said and 2) from what I’m gathering, it completely overshadows Caryl’s reunion and then their entire arc. We get another hug that does absolutely nothing to elevate their relationship and then Carol has to face that Daryl didn’t need her to rescue him because he found a new family and become his emotionally supportive friend to help him through his grief of a lost love interest he’s known for a few months. It almost feels like it’s going to be a retread of Beth’s death, only worse. We know how Greg Nicotero views both of those relationships and to be blunt, the man needs to stop projecting his creepy fetishes onto Daryl and making it our problem 🤢
The way the story is framed, it’s not even about Caryl at all. They’re the relationship we’re the most invested in and yet all the emotional weight is given to a highly problematic relationship that developed over a dozen ish short episodes (compared to Caryl’s decade+ of emotional depth) and it’s all for nothing too. Zabel just resets Daryl like the hokey network procedural writer he is. And Caryl fans are rewarded for their years-long loyalty by getting more ambiguous subtext to analyze? Really?
I think you’re spot on about Melissa though. The reason she’s the bright spot of the season, the reason Carol’s individual arc feels true, and her spiritual connection to Daryl stays alive is because Melissa influenced all of that. She’s shown us time and time again that she understands her character so deeply and respects her fans. It really breaks my heart because I think she had a beautiful story in mind for Carol and she deserves all the support in the world, but as I’ve said many times, if damage is done to the character who has been written as her soulmate for over a decade, damage is also done to her. And I can’t watch that. I can’t watch the destruction of my favorite characters and my favorite relationship and put money in AMC’s pockets for gaslighting me. Retconning Caryl’s relationship into a platonic friendship is their way of protecting themselves from backlash. “Daryl isn’t emotionally cheating because he and Carol have always been besties?” “We didn’t mislead you. We told you they were friends, so you dumb shippers are doing this to yourselves. Please watch our slop anyways ✌️” They’re even trying to shift responsibility to Melissa by making her answer the shipping questions despite the fact that it’s Daryl’s arc throwing a wrench in everything and I expect that to continue at NYCC/Palyfest. It’s completely unethical and it’s backfiring.
Zabel cannot write for Daryl and Carol. He keeps showing us that he doesn’t understand their bond nor does he value it. A couple of the reviews mentioned it felt like Carol was shoehorned into certain aspects of the story, which tracks with what I already knew—that he and the other EPs think she’s hindering the story they want to tell about men doing manly things. That’s why they try so hard to challenge her significance to Daryl’s story and that is not going to change just because they’re moving to another location. Somebody like that should not have power to decide her trajectory. Fuck whatever he has planned for S3. I don’t want it. I still want Caryl and I still want to see them get the stories they deserve, but that’s only going to happen if we get a new showrunner who respects them and respects their fans. In case it needs to be said, Gimple is not that guy either (he can fake his enthusiasm on SM all he wants 🖕🖕🖕). A complete rebranding of the show to something that honors the characters and gives Melissa her dues (equal billing, title, etc) is the only way I’m tuning in now🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t have the emotional capacity to sit through S2, but I will be here, speaking up, to make sure Melissa gets all the necessary praise and those assholes can’t blame her if the show tanks.
I’ve only been here a few years and there’s been a lot of turn over at AMC even just in that time (I kid you not, all of our problems can be traced back to Josh Sapan leaving. He loved Caryl and Melissa). That being said, I cannot for the life of me understand why any of the guys over there (even the misogynistic ones) would approve of the Daryl/Isabelle arc after the PR disaster that Leah caused not even that long ago and at least for that, the arc tied back to romantic Caryl and we weren’t subjected to any uncomfortable physical intimacy. Why the fuck would they make the same mistake? Why the fuck do they have to spend more time cleaning up messes than avoiding the mess altogether at every fucking opportunity they had (and they had a lot). I just don’t get it. And I’m so tired of taking the abuse.
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stellar-constellations · 4 months ago
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STELLAR IM ON MY KNEES PLS TELL US ABOUT THE ANDREW SERIES IDEAS
I apologize in advance for my ramblings, because I know damn well I'm going to rant. These ideas are not yet complete and could change over time as I try to work out plots and ideas, FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED AND WANTED!
First thing's first, thank you to my Secret Spy (name is unknown for privacy reasons/to have a cool nickname) who gives me ideas and honest feedback about my work so I can improve. Much love to you. She suffers through A LOT of my obsessive rambles, and she also helps a great deal in ideas for my stories, so I appreciate her help and patience.
First idea: Andrew Graves x Stalker! Cultist! Reader
This was a suggestion brought up by my Secret Spy. It's a huge work in process considering how I'd have to try and write plot purposes with that, but hey, we'll see how it goes, so allow me to explain the (supposed) plot so far.
(Y/N) is a member of the phony cult group "Asinus infirma daemonium clava" (look it up in Latin using this translator, trust me). Due to a contract forged between her parents' and the Fire Demon before her birth. After the death of her parents from supernatural causes, (Y/N) finds herself born with demonic connections to the Fire Demon and grows up inside the cult. Surrounded by phony cultists and the same people her entire life, she finds herself utterly obsessed in love upon meeting Andrew Graves, a seemingly normal guy who just happens to accidentally infiltrate the cult.
(Y/N)'s personality is currently up in the air, but I think I'm leaning towards a confident, morally-grey reader who has a knack for causing destruction and problems.
This is currently a oneshot/fic idea due to many plot holes and a worry that this fic's original plot will be too similar to another idea I have (don't worry, that idea will be written here in this post). FEEDBACK AND SUGGESTIONS FOR THIS IDEA IS HIGHLY ENCOURAGED, let me know what you want to read, and any ideas you have to help expand this into a potential series, or we can keep it a nice and short fic!
Second Idea: Andrew Graves x Greek Goddess! Reader
Due to the nature of this idea, there will be religious themes mentioned, and there will also be tons of inaccuracies and my own takes on Greek Mythology (because Greek Mythology is EVERYWHERE that it would be hard to try and make this accurate). Sorry to my Percy Jackson fans, I've never watched or read the books so the Gods' personalities will be nothing like the PJ series. This was actually an idea I introduced a few months ago, it was actually in a poll against Star Patient! This idea has been recreated with a different plot, but I believe this plot is more enjoyable than the OG's plot.
(Y/N) is the Greek Goddess of Sleep and Visions. For years, she's had her eyes on Andrew Graves, finding his dreams and subconscious desires intriguing to stand out upon the billions of other dreams she's seen throughout her millenniums. She finds herself in the mortal's overworld now, entering a world of advanced technology and terrifying beasts (cars) roaming the streets. While Andrew tries to shield (Y/N) from humanities dangerous flaws (including himself), Ashley finds (Y/N)'s powers more useful than you would expect... finding herself in a world constantly on the run as she evades the police and discovers what living is with the Graves Siblings.
So, the whole road-trip evading the police thing was an idea I had for the Cultist idea, but I decided to ditch it in the Cultist idea because it was far too similar. I figured the idea would fit here more, having an outdated and naive Goddess trying to navigate this new scary world just sounds so adorable!
(Y/N)'s personality is curious, timid, with an almost child-like fascination as she learns to understand the meaning of life, and to cherish it while it lasts. She has a serious need for validation and feeling needed, and all she wants to do is be helpful to the Graves siblings, no matter what she has to do.
This is going to be a fluffy and bittersweet series. I wanted something more wholesome and sweet for Andrew and Ashley because they deserve it after all they've gone through (in the game and in my Star Patient series, ahaha). (Y/N) and Andrew are the only love interests, and Ashley has a pretty healthy and wholesome sister-like relationship with (Y/N).
Third Idea: Andrew Graves x Two-faced! Serial Killer! Reader
As you've probably noticed now, I like making (Y/N) the more... interesting characters. I feel like each (Y/N) helps branch out and creates inclusivity for my readers, because not everyone has the same personality or thought-process, so I wanted all my (Y/N)'s to be unique too!
(Y/N) is Andrew's lovable neighbor next door. She's always willing to lend a hand and has a stellar social image and a great connection with the community. In the day, she works as a waitress in a popular diner and volunteers at pet shelters. At night, she's a ruthless killer stalking the alleyways of the city, with nothing on her mind but how many stabs she can stab a face into disfiguration. She's never cared for romance or love until now, meeting Andrew Graves after he discovers her horrific secret. Now that he knows, she'll have to keep a constant eye on him. Sure, she could kill him, but what's the point of killing such a cute guy without at least playing with him some? Maybe this isn't so much romance, but more so manipulation and power-play, however Andrew slowly seems to let those red flags go and enter a world filled with obsessive love, jealousy, and Stockholm syndrome.
This Andrew doesn't have Ashley as a sibling, making him an introverted, socially-constipated, wallflower with a need of validation.
This (Y/N) is two-faced. To your face, she's bubbly, empathetic, and is the perfect definition of a saint, but if you turn your back for just a second, you might find a knife in it. She has a serious thirst for blood and hearing bones snap (she could potentially be a cannibal, I'm deciding if I want that as a motive or not...)
This going to be a slowburn series.
FEEDBACK AND IDEAS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED FOR THIS IDEA!
Fourth Idea: Potential serial killer! Andrew Graves x Journalist! Reader
This idea is the most unstable and wonky one. This idea is under extreme development as I try to figure out what I want to do with this reader and her personality. A poll will eventually be released for this reader's personality and motives.
(Y/N) is a plain and boring woman. You wouldn't notice her in a crowd, much less recognize her face. She's a journalist who specializes in covering true crime cases, and the her hottest case happens to be the quarantined apartment in her city. A thump on her balcony and a door opening leads her to meeting Andrew Graves, who may just be the worst (or best) thing to ever happen in her life. I mean, it's not everyday your hottest crime case drops right into your apartment and begs for a place to stay! Who knew hitmen, cops, and a whole damn demon is following with—okay, what the hell is going on and how does she get her normal life back?!
(Y/N)'s personality is currently unknown. I'm unsure if I want to make her depressed with a thirst of death (hence why she lets Andrew stay, in hopes he'll kill her), or if I want (Y/N) to be a normal girl with an obsessive hobby of true crime and a conspiracy theorist (who wants to keep Andrew around in hopes he'll expose all the case's secrets for her to report). FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED FOR THIS!
I'm also unsure if I want Andrew to be a paranoid guy trying to hide from the police after killing his sister (yes, he killed his sister), or if I want Andrew to be a cocky, arrogant, serial killer. FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED FOR THIS!
This is going to be a series. What direction I want it to take is up in the air, but I want action and drama.
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These are currently the ideas I have going on. These ideas are excluding current fluffy fics I'm working on, so be on the lookout for those new fics coming out soon! These series will all be in a poll after I finish the Star Patient series, so I won't be holding off Star Patient for these!
SERIOUSLY, Y'ALL. FEEDBACK IS HIGHLY WANTED ON THESE IDEAS. DON'T BE AFRAID TO LEAVE ANONYMOUS COMMENTS IN MY INBOX, OR MESSAGE ME! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS WANNA READ (and as always, if you have your own ideas for fics, please send them in and I'll see what I can do).
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frownyalfred · 7 months ago
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I can’t help but wonder where Dick Grayson is in your A Coral Room universe. What happened? Did he get to stay with the circus this time due to pack law or something? That would probably be one of the best outcomes for him I think, I just miss my Blue Bird :(
I’ve been ducking a few similar questions about Dick since I really don’t want to ruin people’s fun ideas/hopes. But the truth is, I’ve been envisioning a pretty different world for Dick in that series.
He and Bruce parted on difficult terms when he was still very young (just around Dick’s presentation) and didn’t ever call each other pack. Dick was Robin until he presented alpha, and he left Bruce around that time for a variety of reasons. Most of them reflect Bruce’s fear of alphas, fear of his own designation, and his need to reject all dynamic from his own life in order to pursue his mission.
Jason and Dick never overlapped. They never even met. By the time Bruce had softened enough to take on another pup, Dick was a young alpha on his own in Bludhaven. He probably read about Bruce’s adoption in the news, and it probably hurt like nothing else. Because Jason was getting what Bruce had refused him — a chance to be pack, to be close to him. To have an omega carrier defend and love him.
But Bruce couldn’t handle an alpha in his own house that wasn’t pack. And by the time Jason was coming around to presenting, we could see those same anxieties surfacing again. From both him and Jason. The same need to keep all pack bonds at arm’s length.
Dick is his own vigilante in Bludhaven, but likely on a much smaller level than someone backed by Bruce would’ve been. He has his own pack. He’s a kind and balanced alpha, despite carrying all this hurt and rejection.
I haven’t written him into the main storyline yet because 1) the first and second fics were about Bruce and Jason respectively 2) I’m still somewhat working off the BVS framework where there was only ever one Robin and 3) people have been really really pushy about it. Like somehow the work I’m putting out isn’t good enough to read because Dick isn’t there. As if Jason’s side of things can’t stand on its own without Dick or Tim even.
Dick will show up, I promise. But I also stand by the plot and characters of the existing story and I think they’re worth reading too. It’s hard to set up a newly healed world with Jason and Bruce without giving them time to be their own characters first. Bruce is technically a bad guy for Dick — but as we’ve seen, he’s been doing a lot of healing. He’s a complex character now.
Okay, whew. Tiny rant over. If you’ve sent me an ask about Dick’s appearance in this story in the last few months, I apologize. I was getting close to 5-6 asks a day about it and it was making me sad. Hopefully this explanation helps a little.
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gracies-baby · 8 months ago
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Hey!!! Can you write a Gracie Abrams x female reader. The reader is a couple of years younger than Gracie. She is 20, an actress and comes from a rich family in Italy. The reader is known to be a bad girl and a player. She changes girls like she changes he clothes basically but she is very kind and adorable deep down. and then when she meets Gracie, y/n falls in love with her actually and is not a player anymore but Gracie was only with her as a dare to break her heart as no one has before. Angst with a happy ending.
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Begin Again
(Gracie Abrams x Reader)
———————————————————
Breaking! Italian actress Y/n L/n and American singer Sabrina Carpenter call it quits after 3 month relationship! Fans heartbroken after this news
Comments:
We all knew this was coming. Hardly news worthy.
I give her a week before she's got someone new.
She's literally only 20 and she's had like 20 different girlfriends 💀
"They all think I'm a slut" Y/n rants to her friend as she reads the comments on the article.
"Who cares what they think? Your fans love you. These people just need to hate on successful women to feel accomplished" her friend, Jenna replies.
"I dunno, what if they're right? I mean, I do date a lot more than any other 20 year old" Y/n continues, stopping when she gets a notification from instagram, seeing someone had messaged her.
Gracieabrams
Hey, I know you don't know me and we've never spoken at all but I just wanted to see if you were okay? I heard the news. Breakups are hard. I also wanted to see if you maybe wanted to have dinner with me sometime?
"Gracie Abrams just asked me out" Y/n says, showing her phone to Jenna.
"Seriously? Go! Say yes!"
"I just got out of a relationship though. What are people gonna say?" Y/n asks as she nervously stares at her phone.
"It doesn't matter. All that matters is your happiness. Gracie could make you happy. Just try one date"
"..fine. She is really cute" Y/n replies as she types on her phone.
Y/n-L/n
Hi! Thanks so much you're so sweet! I'm okay, thanks for asking. I would love to have dinner with you btw. Let me know when you're free!
"Great! My job here is done! I gotta go now though, I'll see you tomorrow" Jenna says as she walks out of her friend's apartment.
Gracieabrams
Does tomorrow work for you? If not I can clear my schedule
Y/n-L/n
Tomorrows great! Just tell me the time and place and I'll be there
The two girls stay up talking until going to sleep, waiting for the next day.
Y/n
She's not here. I think I got stood up
Jenna
You definitely did not get stood up. I'm sure she'll be there soon. Just wait a few more minutes
As soon as Y/n gets the text, she feels someone take the seat opposite her.
"Hey! Sorry I'm late, I slept through my alarm and I had to pick out an outfit and it was a huge thing. I hope you weren't waiting too long" the brunette says as she takes her jacket off and hangs it on the back of her chair.
"No, not long at all. How are you?" Y/n asks with a kind smile as the two order their coffees at the counter.
"I'm great! I'm releasing an album next week, that's going well. How are you?"
"I'm.. okay. You really lifted my spirits though" Y/n says, sipping her coffee.
"That's great to hear. I've seen what everyone's been saying about you. It's such bullshit. I mean, sometimes relationships don't work out, you know? It's not your fault. Well, I don't know what happened, but I can guess it's not your fault" Gracie speaks, smiling at Y/n gently as the two walk out of the coffee shop, spotting paparazzi a few metres away.
"Heads up" Gracie says, putting her head down as she takes Y/n's hand in hers.
"So, how's a second date sound?" Gracie asks nervously.
"A second date with you sounds amazing, Gracie" Y/n replies with a soft blush.
"Great! I'm busy tomorrow but how's Friday sound?" Gracie asks with an excited grin.
"Fridays perfect, I'll see you then" Y/n replies, leaning in to kiss her lips only to kiss her cheek at the last minute, leaving the brunette disappointed.
"Play your cards right and there's more where that came from" Y/n says before gently closing the door, leaving the taller girl on the other side of it.
Y/n turns on her phone when she begins getting slammed by notifications.
Y/n L/n seen with singer Gracie Abrams leaving popular coffee shop hand in hand. New romance brewing?
Comments:
Literally not even a week after Sabrina
Gracie girl get out while you can
She was probably cheating on Sabrina ngl
Y/n reads the comments as tears fill her eyes. She opens her contacts and calls the first person she thinks of.
"Gracie? Can you come back?" She pleads, voice breaking.
A few minutes later, there's a knock on the door. Y/n opens it only to fall into the brunettes arms, Gracie wrapping her arms around her and holding tight.
"I'm sorry, I know we just met but you're the first person I thought to call" Y/n rambles only for Gracie to stop her.
"It's okay. Don't apologise. You can call me whenever you want"
"Everything they're saying about me.. you don't think it's true, do you?"
"Of course I don't! I don't know you that well, but I do know you're not a slut" Gracie replies, guiding Y/n to the couch.
Gracie continues to calm her down, waiting until she falls asleep before leaving the apartment.
The two girls go on a couple more dates before making it official, Gracie asking the shorter girl to be her girlfriend on a late night picnic date.
"Gracie? Are you home?" Y/n asks, opening the door to her girlfriend's apartment when she received no answer. She goes to her girlfriend's room but stopes when she hears talking.
"Gracie, she deserves to know. You love her don't you? And she loves you, just tell her" a woman's voice says from inside.
"I can't do that. She would leave me if I did" Y/n opens the door to see her girlfriend standing with Olivia.
"What's going on?" Y/n asks nervously looking between the two.
"I'm gonna go. Gracie has something to tell you" Olivia says before leaving the apartment.
"What do you need to tell me?"
"Okay.. so, uh, just remember that I love you so much. I've never loved anyone the way I love you. And you love me, right?" Gracie asks, holding her girlfriend's hands.
"Of course, what's wrong?"
"Um, when I asked you out.. it was because Olivia dared me to okay? But that doesn't change the fact that I love you now!"
"What? So what was the plan, you were gonna break my heart after getting me to fall in love with you? How could you do this?! I trusted you! I confided in you!" Y/n exclaims, voice breaking.
"You can still trust me! I will still listen to everything you say! This doesn't change anything!" Gracie pleads, tears running down her face.
"No Gracie! It changes everything! You didn't actually want to be with me! You thought I was a slur just like everyone else!" Y/n runs out of the apartment in tears.
"Y/n wait!" Gracie yells but the girl is already gone.
Y/n L/n seen leaving girlfriend Gracie Abrams apartment in tears. Is this the end for the couple?
Comments:
Y/n hit the three month mark 💀
Who tf would break up with Gracie Abrams
If Y/n doesn't want Gracie I'll have her
After days of Y/n ignoring her calls, Gracie decides to go to her apartment. She knocks on the door, only for Jenna to open it.
"What do you want?" She asks coldly as she stares at the girl.
"Please. I just need to talk to her. 5 minutes" Gracie pleads before she hears Y/n's voice.
"Who is it?" She asks her friend, stopping when she sees the girl at the door.
"Y/n please. You're not answering my calls. I just need to talk to you"
"You need to leave"
"No. Let her come in" Y/n cuts her friend off, watching as she steps aside for the taller girl to walk in.
"You have five minutes" Jenna says before leaving the room, giving the girls privacy.
"Y/n. I know I hurt you but that doesn't change the fact that I love you now. I love you so much. Please believe me" Gracie says, taking the girls hands only for her to pull away.
"How can I believe you? Our relationship was built on a lie!"
"If I didn't love you, why wouldn't I have left you sooner? Why would I have stayed with you this long?" Gracie says, watching as the other girl steps away from her.
"I can't continue this relationship knowing what I know now, Gracie" Y/n mumbles in heartbreak.
"So what if we start a new one? You still love me, don't you? We'll have a new first date and I'll ask you to be my girlfriend again and we'll rebuild our relationship and this time, it's not going to be a lie. Please, just one more chance" Gracie says, stepping closer to the girl and hesitantly taking her hands again.
"Okay. One more chance. I still love you so much" Y/n says, wrapping her arms around the brunette.
"Thank you so much! I love you" Gracie says, pulling the girl in for a gentle kiss, Y/n pulling away after a second.
"You're not even gonna take me out first?" She says as the two girls begin to giggle.
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happyandticklish · 1 year ago
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I've Created a Monster
So, I took the, maybe ill-advised, plunge, and told the dude I've been seeing for the past three months that I'm into tickling
And it turned out fucking great, I still cannot believe my luck in this area
Apologies if I rant for a bit. I have been living out my dreams for the past couple of weeks and need to share it with someone (outside of a few people already in the community who I've already told) or I will explode. It gets a tad TMI at the end, so I put that bit under the cut for people's comfort. So beware of that in advance
So a bit of background. I had been seeing this dude for about a month and a half when we got on the subject of kinks. At first just kind of generally discussing them, and eventually getting into what we're into. And I admitted that I had one that was a bit weird, not only because it was unorthodox, but also because I had a huge amount of trouble actually saying what it was, which of course spiked his curiosity. But he was really chill about it and didn't push, but there kept being tickly moments that kept popping up naturally in the relationship, none of which were lasting longer than a couple seconds. As such, mostly out of frustration at the brevity of these moments, I mustered up the courage at 3am to finally confess.
He was quiet for a bit and mostly just held me (I think because I definitely looked as anxious as I felt--I also have to give him props for having patience during the three fucking minutes it took me to confess because I was working up the courage to simply say the Word). Then he started asking me how long I'd known that I was into it, why I was into it, what appealed to me about tickling, things along that line, all of which I stumbled my way through answering. He then proceeded to inform me that he didn't think I was weird, or that liking tickling was weird, and that he had been expecting much worse and thought it was kind of cute.
After that, tickling started cropping up more in the relationship. It took a while to explain that I was totally okay with more intense tickling and that me squirming away and sometimes asking him to stop were reflexes that should be ignored (it was somewhat endearing how he would immediatelly stop to make sure I was good, if somewhat frustrating sometimes), but he eventually got it. He even briefly pinned me down once, a move he has yet to repeat, but eventually I will get up the courage to ask him to.
I had told him that I was into both doing and receiving the tickling, but also that he was under no pressure to get tickled if he didn't want to. But after a while we were cuddling when he said, quote, "I think I'm actually into this tickling thing. It feels kind of nice whenever you do it to me, and I do love how much it gets to you." And then gave me permission to tickle him, which was way more than I was hoping for
Although he is able to control his reactions and just stay still for it which is baffling to me ("well if I moved, it would stop happening??" yeah?? I know?? But most people can't do that shit 🤨)
Guys. He started looking into tools and shit. This man is researching into the community. Came to me all excited like a dork, talking about feathers and toothbrushes and the fucking Wartenberg Wheel and how he thinks that he'd may be be down to include bondage with tickling stuff (which I'd mentioned I'd be into before). He was all, "I also discovered that some people are into tickle torture, isn't that wild?" Meanwhile I'm over here like, "yeah, it is wild, isn't it, imagine that haha"
He's suggested safe words on his own too, worked out boundaries,,,,
Anyways. He's embraced this way more than I can image and I am living the dream
TMI under cut! Avert your eyes if shmexy things make you uncomfy!
He's also started tickling me while we fuck (and sometimes when he goes down on me) and my fellow people of tumblr. It makes everything so insanely intense. I have had to be like, "babe, I love this, this is great, but I cannot concentrate on any coherent goal if you keep this up".
Also definitely discovered that my ass is ticklish during this process and it is a fact that he will not let go. Not that I am complaining 😏
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philshotcocoa · 3 months ago
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So I was rewatching the second pizza phukbang and the whole bit about how ii (Interactive Introverts) was suppose to be the end of Dan and Phil always gets me thinking.
It makes me think about how much Dnp’s comeback has set off a sort of butterfly effect in my life, and how many things I wouldn’t have realized/not done just within these past couple of months, had they not unhiatus-ed (if thats even a word).
So I was thinking this could be a sort of sharing moment :D! I want to know how the comeback of the gaming channel has affected you! (I’ll share a little down below), but pop into my inbox/or reblog/ and share as much or as little as you’d like!
A few examples can be:
-What are some new memories that you’ve made?
-Have you made new phannie friends (online/or IRL)??
-Have your non-phannie family members/friends had to endure long rants regarding Dnp? (Just when they thought they were in the clear for five years….) (I know one of my friends was a victim of my “lore rants” during the release of all the clues for the tour).
-Has the fan-person within you come back full force?
-Have some opportunities come up for you that wouldn’t have happened otherwise?
-If you’re a new post-hiatus fan, how have you interacted with the community? Have Dan and Phil become a new fixation that you wouldn’t have found without the comeback?
(And literally anything else you’d want to share, as long as its safe for me to respond to ^_^)
Feel free to reblog if you want to share this around and get people in your own inbox/asks🤍🤍!
For me, the gaming channel comeback has honesty allowed me to move past internalized homophobia/other things I was hiding from myself. Rediscovering Dan and Phils story and seeing them be so happy being their authentic selves made me rethink the way I was treating myself. Especially because I hadn’t realized how similar me and Dans journeys were regarding queerness. It made me not feel so alone! And now with my Tumblr I’ve found so many more people and it makes me sappy to think about it too hard 😭.
I’ve also genuinely reverted back to the interests and mindset that made me so happy back before the hiatus. In the last five years I was bullied heavily for being one of those “weird kids” and I eventually caved in and hid any and all of my interests. I tried desperately to run away from what made me happy in order to appease those around me. When I found Dan and Phil again, something in my mind set off. Letting go of that old mindset and reverting back to interacting with the content that actually made ME happy has been the biggest thing i’ve realized. Dan and Phil have reminded me that I need to embrace that nerd part of myself, otherwise its not really me.
(Yes, its all sort of cheesy, but its true)
So those two along with a lot more positivity thats come into my life solely from these last few months has been absolutely lovely. My life was honestly saved and to think of all the butterfly effects boggles my mind @_@ !
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
I’m sending good vibes 〰️ !
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nikitasys · 6 months ago
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LIFE WITHOUT FILTER AS A TRAUMAGENIC POLYFRAG+PARTIALLY PROGRAMMED DID SYSTEM
TW : vent, rant, ramcoa, programming, su!c!de mention
(I'm in desperate need for advice, for some kind of guidance or support from other progged systems who may have gone through something similar to what we're describing in this post, or not but who may have ideas of what might be going on with us.)
I stg life has been so exhausting & I just have to unmask & say it SOMEWHERE.
We're a relatively newly discovered+diagnosed system since I realised we were one in August/September of last year (2023). Before that we had been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder for several years.
When I first realised we were multiple, I progressively began discovering the other alters. The whole process (we're also in trauma therapy) was difficult & messy but overall as days went by I personally felt more & more satisfied to see/feel how much progress we were making, even with all the highs & lows it entailed. I got to meet & learn to know a few alters, we were able to work on some of our problematic in-sys dynamics & slowly but surely understand ourselves better, both as individuals & as a whole.
Long story short, we were PROGRESSING.
Then things got even messier as our trauma therapy caused even more lifting of the dissociative amnesia in our childhood & we progressively realised we were polyfrag & had been through RAMCOA & programming. (That happened end of February/beginning of March 2024)
The whole process was getting more & more chaotic & distressful but we (me + the rest of our group of main fronters) were pretty determined to figure things out & keep on going forward, which was extremely annoying to a bunch of programmed alters who immediately tried their best to keep us quiet/isolated & make us feel insane/terrified by trying to make us go back to our primary abuser, OR convince our psychiatrist to put us on antipsychotics & hospitalise us, OR leave the place we live in to go who-knows-where & ghost everyone we knew, OR off ourself etc... in a nutshell, it was really freaking hard.
But some of us were determined to keep trying to do what was best for us, to keep trying to get better, to gain at least some kind of free will, to LIVE.
I'm sorry, this post is way too long.
But anyway, now it's been a few months since I just don't know what's going on with us anymore. The veryyyy little visualisation I could have of our innerworld is gone, all the main fronters seem to have truly disappeared (mass dormancy?) as well as the vast majority of alters we had identified up to this day. It seemed that I was frontstuck for a long while, & now it's been a few weeks that alters just randomly pop up (whether they front or stay co-conscious) & then disappear almost immediately after as if nothing had happened & I just... I feel so lost.
It's all just so frustrating you know ? To me it truly feels like something MAJOR happened inside both to our innerworld + all the alters & I'm being deliberately locked away from the truth of what it is. I feel like I'm being punished, & tbh I probably am. I'm in a lot of denial about our programming but the whole thing definitely feels like one (or more ?) internal handler/programmer has been orchestrating some kind of system reboot or hardcore scramble or... I DON'T KNOOOW 😭 I just don't know anything anymore. It's like nothing ever happened & it's particularly distressing, you know ? It is SO weird to know deep down that massive stuff is going on inside yourself but at the same time you know nothing & it all makes me wonder if I ever knew anything in the first place ? These thoughts make me dizzy af. It just feels like since syscovery there was overall progress happening, & now there's just nothing. As if everything had been suddenly turned off & restarted or... I just don't know.
Anyway. I realise no one will read this post entirely, but if for some reason you are doing it, first of all congrats & also, THANK YOU.
Don't hesitate to contact us via DMs or comment if you have any questions or advice, we'll be more than happy to answer you to the best of our abilities. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR HELP 🙏🏻
— host (I think?)
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