#this puts my feelings in perspective a little bit and it's a situation that was begging for a major shake up for a while

[greatmoldone]

What I think everyone gets wrong about TF141

By everyone I mean the fandom as a whole

I can tell so many of y'all haven't played the game

Also I do not condone the actions of any of these war criminals. This is just a character study.

John "Bravo 0-6" Price

I guess the biggest pattern for this guy is that he's a cuck. 💀 It's obviously wish fulfillment for smut and not intended to be a character study but like it kinda rubs me the wrong way sometimes.

Also gonna point out the fact that Price tends to be written as 100% correct all the time. Always the good guy who is doing the right thing and I feel like that just undermines the whole point of his character being morally grey. He's willing to do bad things for the greater good from his perspective. That doesn't mean that his perspective is always correct. Don't fall for that propaganda that the series tries to push.

He cares about people more than the politics which is great but don't forget he's fucking ruthless. The first mission of the game you literally see him throw a man in a bomb vest over a railing when he thinks Gaz won't be able to deactivate it in time. Sacrifices for the "greater good." But not that man's greater good. He also threatened a man's family to get information out of him, whether he was bluffing or not. He put the gun in someone else's (Gaz's) hand and left it up to him.

Where are my unreliable narrator fics of him??

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

"UwU softboi" Nah, fam. This man is ANGRY. That's like his character introduction. He's pissed that the people in charge won't let him act. He wants more autonomy to be more aggressive and I've seen him reduced to "good boi Wyll" from Baldur's Gate 3.

I do agree he has a softer side 100%. Gaz's anger comes from a place of compassion. He's tired of watching people die or get hurt when he could have done something. He wants to act first to prevent worse outcomes later. Just look at Clean House. That whole mission is messy with blurred lines of morality but ultimately they feel justified in the end because they stop a worse ending.

But as someone who is also extremely angry, that shit will come out in less than favorable ways. Getting into arguments because you're mad at the situation, blowing up at seemingly small trespasses, etc. It doesn't mean he won't catch himself and correct but let the man get frustrated and angry in your fics please. Also let's be honest when has a military been good about getting their soldiers therapy.

I probably don't even need to address the fact that he's completely overlooked so much. I think we all know the reason for that. Hm.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

I feel like this is the most widespread misunderstanding of a character ngl. It kind of baffles me.

He's not a dark sexy booktok romance archetype. I feel like everyone projects ideas onto him because of the mask?? Something something about a blank canvas.

From what we see in the games, he's sarcastic but focused, a little grumpy but caring enough to distract Soap with dumb ass dad jokes in Las Almas. Like that's such a telling moment for me. Soap is the newest guy in the reboot. He's alone, injured, has no weapon, and is surrounded by enemies that will kill him without hesitation. But Ghost is able to guide him over the radio and coach him in survival while keeping his spirits up with banter.

He complained about Johnny at first but clearly grew to like him so I feel like he's also stubborn, but not entirely prideful. He's a soldier after all, you've gotta ditch that pretty early on or you won't do well. Would absolutely rag on someone to show affection.

He's also loud as fuck. Idk why no one has talked about this. Bro basically yells every voice line except for a few occasions.

He's a bottom but a lot of y'all aren't ready for that conversation.

John "Soap" MacTavish

Golden retriever ADHD personified. Is he a bit goofy at times especially with banter? Yeah, sure but I fail to see where everyone is getting the idea that he's this class clown. Bro is incredibly focused and takes his job seriously because it's literally life or death.

Also where is the idea that he's some feral sex fiend coming from?? I get playing things up for fan service or indulgence or whatever. That's fine, lean into whatever you need to for your fic but I feel like the characterization of him I see the most is this strange collective consciousness of Soap where everyone is building off each other's depictions of him and not based on the character himself.

Ultimately it's fanfiction, people can write what they want. I'm not going to tell you to stop, but these are just patterns I've noticed that can be a lil irritating when I'm trying to find something that feels in-character. Or something that isn't just wish fulfillment porn.

[botslayer9000]

is there any possible way to brute-force vriska into positive character development

[peanutheaddd]

new peanuthead au 😭😭😭😭 cant stop putting these beasts into situations

extras + au deets below cut

essentially this au is where current petey and older petey switch bodies and they get up to various shenanigans . LOL . theres not That much of a plot and not much rlly changes perse . its just a silly situation .

current petey is after he starts living w dog man long enough such that they got a routine going . atp petey secretly likes how domestically hes been living and he has Not been handling that revelation well LMFAOOOO

older petey is married (probs about 10 years atp) + he basically just sent lil petey off to college before the switch and he was handling it poorly . LMFAO me when im in a struggling competition and my opponent is petey t cat

lil petey saved him and petey knows that Very Very well. caring for him became his new purpose and helped him turn his life sround so now that lil peteys off living his own life hes kinda lost and it freaks him out really badly . he misses his son so damn bad bru 😭😭😭😭 bro was not prepared for empty nester depsair

thats why he gets so emotional in the comic LOL . seeing lil petey as a little baby again is basically a dream come true for him . he misses baby lil petey so bad 😭😭😭😭

the switch happens bc (current) petey makes some new body switching invention boogaloo and he thinks that it didnt work and calls it a day but it Did work it just took effect overnight instead of immediately like he had expected . also the body switching invention was across universes instead of within a single world like he had intended. LMFAO His stupid baka life 😭😭😭

older dog man is retired at this point. hes also kinda mellowed out bc hes older . older dogs are chiller and that applies to dog man too LMFAO . he doesnt have the stamina to be that high energy anymore

older dog man can recognize the switch almost Instantly bc peteys demeanor is waaaaayyy too different and too similar to how he used to act 15 years ago .

older dog man tries 2 be understanding and give petey space bc he knows that hes not his petey anymore but he gets separation enxiety really bad and he misses his petey Really Really bad. especially bc atp lil peteys not living w them anymore so he js feels Really lonely. my goat 😭😭😭😭

older petey is having the time of his life. his baby is a baby again and his body is light and he doesnt have back pain anymore and he doesnt need glasses to see . however he Knows his dog man gets separation anxiety and needs his daily quota of physical touch (never underestimate a mf whose love language is ohysical touch) and he knows that the past him would Not give him that . so he Is having a good time but hes also constantly worrying about how his dog man is doing .

current petey meets older lil petey at some point and he feels a crushing sense of despair about it 😭😭😭 in my mind dog man comforts him and tells him his petey also didnt handle lil petey growing up very well .

eventually the two peteys sync up the body switching thingy and go back to their og worlds . i assume when they switch back older peteys reached peace abt his empty nest despair probs thanks to lil petey . and current petey has a bit of a different perspective on both dog man And lil petey . smth smth valuing the time he has w them Now. yah. #corny but thats how i like it YAYYYYYY

lil petey can immediately tell that older petey isnt His papa . he can do that in canon so he can do it here too lol . id assume it kinda confuses him tho bc he can tell its petey but hes too different to be PETEY ygwim

ok thats it i think

[emiqip]

Pt.2 Apocalyptic Ponyo AU ft. Shockwave and his menaces @keferon

If there was something you learned while living in the ugly, rotten and forgotten parts of the city your whole life, it was that trust was to be given away scarcely and returned fiercely. 

Damus learned this lesson fast. Abandoned beside a squalid garbage bin after his guardian couldn't afford to take care of him anymore- not that they tried in the first place anyway. Life got only more complicated from there: food and shelter were always scarce and had to be fought for, especially if you were a scrawny kid like him and had to tussle and shove middle-aged junkies daily, to be able to scavenge inside the most recent load of trash from the local shitty restaurant in hopes for some lukewarm scraps. 

And then years passed and he became less and less alone. Other kids joined him and life became just a tad bit more bearable. He slowly warmed up to them, feeling for maybe the first time the warmth of what could resemble a family, even if his was little and a bit broken. They looked out for each other: yes the older kids obviously held the most authority and weight out of all of them, but it wasn't unusual to see the twins putting on their best intimidating appearances and stand tall in front of any adult after they dared pick on one of their older siblings- he had seen the scratches and bite marks covering the poor soul who tried to steal Windcharger's lunch...

It had always been left unsaid, but it was clear they loved and cared deeply for each other- that sort of care that looked rough and jagged from an outsider perspective, but it was their kind of love and nobody- adult or whatever could ever have a say in this. 

But it was when you cared so intensely that even at the mere prospect of losing something so dear, your body and soul started betraying you.

He felt it when the apocalypse hit and now... as he watched Blue- young, naive and kind Blue, caged behind a massive wall of sharp teeth and even sharper claws, smiling happily, without a care in the world.

The beast followed the gaze of its small prisoner and finally locked eyes with the new arrivals. Sharp cat-like blue eyes curiously took in the presence of the remaining kids, with its mouth slightly open in surprise, the monster tilted its head and from its throat came forward a small melody of clicks and trills. 

Damus felt his heart sink. God, what did he do in a previous life to deserve this? When he caught himself moving forward on shaky legs, it was already too late. His brain was in overdrive. He had to get the kid out of this situation now. 

"...Blue, buddy, I want you to listen to me very carefully." His throat felt dry and the hands that were clutching his weapon were clammy with sweat. 

"Uh? O-okay." The younger kid briefly looked at his captor before returning his focus on his brother. 

"...walk slowly towards me and hide behind us." 

"What?! Dee I'm not in danger yeah I know Sir. Pancake can be a bit intimidating at first even I was scared but he patched up my knee with some sea moss I don't know how he knew how to do that but-" 

"Buddy please- just- sigh come here Blue!" He hated interrupting his littlest brother during one of his spiels, but now was not the right time. Stress and frustration began eating up at him from inside: why couldn't he see how dangerous this thing really was?! 

"No." 

Wait. 

"WHAT?" 

"I said. No."

Bluestreak huffed, crossing his arms in a pure show of defiance. "I'm perfectly safe where I am, you're being a jerk." To everyone's absolute horror the child lifted his right hand and patted one of the beast clawed fingers to prove his point- in return he got a quiet happy trill. 

"If he really wanted to hurt me he would've done so already and I'm not letting you shoot him." 

He hated to admit he kinda had a point. When the twins left the scene they left the two alone, leaving the youngest completely unprotected against a beast several times bigger than himself. If that thing really wanted to see them all dead, he wouldn't even be here to ponder the possibility. 

Oh for fuck sake, he knew where this was going. They were NOT going to adopt a random fish person. 

Were they?

 \\\

Well wasn't this quite the situation he found himself in? 

Honestly, he had been only searching for a place to finally experience some peace and quiet, away from the grubby hands of the Senate and, consequently, his very dear colleagues. If he had to speak with esteemed senator Tyrest again and entertain him as he blabbed away about 'Rectitude' and 'Order', while an impressive persistent piece of algae clinged on his front teeth- he was going to lose it and offer himself as lunch to the first frenzied monster he found. 

As he reached the surface he began to notice the utter and total destruction around him. Apparently a massive cataclysm had hit a few days prior, leaving the city in utter squalor- he wondered how many lost their lives in the wreckage. Wondering the landscape now engulfed by water. He passed what were once streets, houses and parks- ordinary places where people like his spent their time just... living. 

He wasn't unfamiliar with humans, of course: little hardy creatures, with a knack for destroying everything they came across, even themselves. But he would be lying if he didn't admit he came to favor them- oh, yes! Their utter lack of self preservation had wholly endeared them to him. How depressing things turned out to be. 

He let his train of thoughts race aimlessly as he finally let himself breach the water and slowly heave himself on a random slab of abandoned concrete, perfectly warmed up by the midday sun and he prepared himself to doze off to the calming lull of the waves around him...

A voice- oh no, a couple whispering voices reached his audial fins. They sounded young, very young, but he could not discern the meaning of their words. Too entranced by the new language he didn't notice that one of the speakers was getting quite close to his face, until he felt a sharp poke on his cheek that abruptly made him open his eyes and stand on alert. 

What came after happened too quickly for his still foggy brain to follow entirely: three small humans, most likely guppies, scrambled away from him. The two he presumed were the oldest sprinted as far as possible, while the runt of the bunch got his tiny final caught on a stray rock and fell miserably on the hard ground. 

The other screeched once more as they hurried away to who-knows-where, leaving him and their tiny companion alone. Surely not the best wake-up call he ever had but it can only go better from here, can it? 

A tiny whimper woke him up from his stupor as he once again focused on the small pile of human still plastered on the floor before him. Poor dear must have hurt himself, well that won't do. Slowly, gently he caressed the back of the little darling as he kept softly hiccuping- it was a shame humans skin wasn't as tough as his, it would prevent such inconveniences to happen, not that he blamed the little thing for his own poor biology, of course. 

"Oh sweetheart, it's going to be okay I promise. You're a very tough small fry, I've got you." He let himself coo softly like he heard parents do to their own off-spring. Still minding his own size and sharp points, he dared to nudge the guppy over and inspect the damage himself- turns out the little one had only grazed his right limb, nothing a small dab of sea moss cannot fix. 

As he tended to the guppy's injury, he witnessed the little thing's mood change completely: from an inconsolable heap on the floor to a lively chatterbox- even if the meaning still escaped from him, the constant stream of sound made for a pleasant background as he continued his ministrations. And anyway, the guppy was happy just talking his audials away, who was he to stop his fun? 

Once he deemed his work acceptable enough, he gently prodded the little one to stand beside him, close enough to cover him with one of his fins as a make-shift blanket, and keep him cozy and warm against the evening ocean breeze. Sleep crept closer to him once more, as he listened to his new small ward rant about this and that, while the last rays of the sun warmed his back. Content and at ease he felt his body betray him as he recognized a familiar pleased rumble start in his throat. 

He let himself relax further, knowing this far out nothing would dare attack him and his little guppy. However, he was pleasantly surprised when from the rubble emerged three more small humans. 

Well, he counted six unattended little ones so far- this was getting quite awkward really, who was leaving all these children lying around? They were clearly sporting some sort of weapons, he guessed- although he felt that was reasonably natural, considering humans didn't have any claws or sharp fangs to defend themselves with. 

He watched as the two parties shared a fairly animated conversation. These were most likely his guppy's little friends or... siblings? No matter really since they were all way too young to be wandering around alone in a place like this. 

It was final then! He ought to protect and care for these little ones, until they wouldn't need him anymore.

pt.3 !!

[nanenna]

Jeez Louise This is a Mess

Sleepy King (Nenna edition) Master Post

Apologies in advance, I'm not very familiar with John Constantine, trying to do anything from his perspective is definitely an unwise decision. I have chosen it anyway. He's almost definitely OOC.

---

John watched the Fentons and the mayor just saunter through the brand new hole in the mayor’s wall like this was just a normal Friday for them. Considering how weird the town was as a whole, it probably was. And he meant that by the old meaning of the word and as literal as one could possibly interpret it. He’d never been anywhere where the veil was so thin over such a large area, with æther so thick in the air of course it was affecting the locals. Probably had something to do with whoever or whatever had cloaked the whole town.

John turned to Tall Dark and Broody, “So, what happened to all the bugs and trackers you put on them originally?”

Batsy frowned, “Danny’s are still in the Fenton residence, expected since he clearly changed his clothes. His parents’ trackers and bugs all went offline not long after arriving home, the ones I placed inside the residence are malfunctioning.”

“And that’s not the least bit suspicious?” John asked.

“It’s incredibly suspicious,” Batsy said with a completely straight face before turning and also walking right out the brand new hole. “I suggest you actually use the comm I gave you earlier, they’re explaining the situation to Masters.”

Unfortunately Mr. Gargles Gravel for Breakfast had a point, John sighed and did put in the comm, though he knew it would be spotty with the use of magic to follow the group. Batsy and Wonder Woman could follow however they liked, John did not have the energy for that.

The comms were staticky, cutting in and out even without John’s abuse of the thin veil to quick step around town. Not surprising, the amount of pure death magic radiating off the two dead-alive people in that tank would be enough to mess with most electronics even if the veil weren’t practically non-existent.

“Somehow this place feels cozy,” Boston commented as he followed John.

“You would think so.”

The conversation on the comm was getting worse, the bugs were clearly slowly giving up the ghost. John only caught a few words here and there, and those were only because they were Ghost Speak, something that shouldn’t be possible for flesh and blood mouths to speak. It’s just bits and pieces, names and titles mostly, but if he’s understanding this right…

“Huh, that may change the situation a bit.”

“What are you going on about?” Boston asked.

“It sounds like Pariah isn’t the Ghost King anymore. But Batsy’s bugs are losing the war against æther, so when we get there you’re gonna need to go spy on them.”

“Will that work?”

“Try to keep out of sight, but even if you get caught the worst they’ll do is kick you out. Undead solidarity.”

Boston grumbled, but when John met back up with Batsy and Wonder Woman staring through a window right to where the group was talking, Boston did as he was asked and slipped right through the wall and inside. John cast a quick spell to spy through Boston.

Boston floated slowly into the room, seemingly becoming braver as the Fentons looked right past him without reacting. Unfortunately, he got a little too close to the one person in the room that could definitely see him. The kid jumped out of his seat in surprise.

“Don't sneak up on me like that!” The kid whined as he picked himself up off the floor. Then he froze, eyes glaring at Boston. “How did you sneak up on me? You didn't activate my ghost sense at all.”

“Oh, you can see me? And ghost sense?”

“You don't know who I am?”

“Uh… Daniel Fenton?”

“Well yes, but ghosts don't usually call me that.”

“Then what do they call you?”

“How about you tell me your name first?”

“I’m Deadman.”

The kid burst into laughter. “Are you for real?”

“Danny, is it Youngblood?” The sister asked.

“Huh?” The kid looked to his older sister, then back to Boston. He gestured, “You can't see him?”

The Fentons all shook their heads.

The creepy mayor came back into the room holding a cardboard box, knocking a thin layer of dust from the top. “Here it is!” He looked up and frowned. “Who are you, and why are you in my home?”

“I’m Deadman and I’m uh… lost?”

“He didn't set off my ghost sense,” the kid added. He turned back to Boston, “Are you even a ghost?”

Batman, who’d spent the last few minutes getting into the perfect position while he waited for the most dramatic moment chose then to crash through the window. John started cursing as he rushed to climb in after the loon, already prepping a spell. The moment he had a clear line of sight he shot off the revelation spell at the kid.

It did… well not much.

Really about all it did was give the kid a couple extra accessories. He expected them, but he also expected it to somehow reveal the kid’s undead status too. Make him look all glowy and ghostly like he had when he’d first arrived last night, because John was pretty sure the kid hadn’t been kidnapped after all. Or at least not how they originally assumed, he was pretty sure some spirits considered an unwilling summons a kidnapping.

Still, there the crown was. Just floating over the kid’s head, toxic green æther flames around it like a death energy aurora. And like any teenager the kid seemed completely oblivious, having to be told the crown was even there. Once he got a hand on it though he said something odd, “Okay, crown retrieved.”

John just tucked his hands in his pockets, waiting to see what they were doing. Why did they think they needed to find the crown?

“We may have a problem,” The creepy mayor said as he pulled an identical crown from his cardboard box.

“What.” The kid looked back and forth between the crown in his hand and the one in the creeper’s. “Why are there two?”

And, well, John agreed. Why the fuck were there two? He already started muttering an identification spell as the kid turned to him.

“What did you do?!”

“I didn't do anything,” John protested, “that was purely an identification spell, it can't duplicate things!”

“Well clearly you did something wrong,” The kid’s mom said while glaring at the him.

Of course things got dicey after that, the kid and the creepy mayor got into a fight over the second crown, things turned into a right mess, and John was quite content to let them squabble among themselves. He moved to go stand next to Batsy and Wonder Woman, Boston with him, waiting to see how this went.

Of course the tussle then turned into fighting over the ring on the kid’s finger, still blaming John for just revealing the crown and ring the kid had apparently had this whole time.

“Alright, that’s enough. Shut up!” John may have put a bit of intent into that, and it worked beautifully. The whole group stopped and stared at him, finally shutting up. The parents managed to get between the kid and the creeper, each one still with one of the crowns.

The crowns he now knew were both, somehow, legitimate.

John pointed at the kid, “Just call the crown, it’ll listen.”

The kid gave him a disbelieving look. “Oh sure, I’ll just,” he hunched forward a little bit, clapped his hands, and whistled like he was calling a dog, “here Crowny, Crowny, Crowny.”

For a brief moment nothing happened, then the creeper mayor jerked forward as the crown yanked itself from his hand. It went to go join the other crown floating over the kid’s head, one of them grew wider so the other could nestle inside it, both spinning in place but in opposite directions.

Everyone was staring at the display.

“What uh… what are they doing?” The kid asked nervously.

“They… like each other?” The sister asked skeptically.

“Great, wonderful, fabulous, just what I need in my life.” The kid sighed and turned to glare at John. “What. Did. You. DO?!”

“I didn’t do shit,” John replied, much to the parents’ combined horror. “Looks like somehow they’re both legit, my best guess is one of them isn’t from this timeline.”

“Oh,” the sister said, grabbing everyone’s attention. “The Nasty Burger explosion happened after the fight with the king, right?”

“The what?” the kid’s parents asked.

“Oh,” the kid responded, “I’m starting to see why the council of eyeballs hates my guts.”

And wasn’t that a concerning sentence. John desperately needed a drink, thankfully he had a flask on him and chose that moment to take a swig. “Alright, so there should be a second ring too, no point leaving that on Dark’s finger in case he gets out again.”

“Vlad did it,” the kid said while pointing at the creeper.

“Excuse me!” Creeper actually put a hand to his neck, like some fainting Victorian lady.

“Vlad tried to steal the ring and crown, so he let Dark out of the sarcophagus and I had to go clean up his mess, like always.” The kid glared at the creeper, it was starting to paint a really concerning picture.

“I’m sure Vladdie was just trying to keep these powerful artifacts safe,” the kid’s dad said loudly and happily. Yeah, there was the concerning picture again.

“I’d believe it if all he took was the ring, but the crown was safely sealed away with Pariah and he let the guy out to steal it.”

“Just call the ring,” John said gruffly.

“Here Ragey, Ragey, Ragey.” The kid whistled and clapped his hands again. The ring showing up on the kid’s other hand was expected, the glowing green hell hound that came sprinting through the wall and practically tackled the kid wasn’t. “Cujo! Hi! Who’s a good puppy?!”

Keeriest, John needed a stiffer drink.

[sunny-knight]

MASSIVE DELTARUNE SPOILERS

I need to talk about that ending.

Correction- WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THAT ENDING-

This is…such a genius scene that seems so simple, but HAS SO MUCH BAGGAGE WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. When I first saw it I felt the weirdest combination of emotions ive ever felt in my entire life and now I can’t stop thinking about this moment, so heres an attempt at putting those thoughts into words!

What makes it so interesting is that… yes, it is VERY FUNNY, AND an epic win for Soriel shippers…but…it feels so WRONG,

Kris and Susie were presumed MISSING well into the night, and Toriel seems to not even notice because of her drunkenness. Its incredibly irresponsible on her half, as she’s so distracted by “just having a little fun” (Queen Mom theorists be winning, Toriel has a drinking problem confirmed/hj)

The entire time I was laughing while going “oooooo….” Toriel thats not it girl. And when Susie left, the way Sans completely dismissed her and went “party back on yippee” also felt very off. Kris’ reaction to everyhing makes me so sad and put on edge by the whole thing, IT IS A GREAT SET UP TO THEIR OPINION ON THEIR HOME LIFE, THATS FOR SURE. At some point when Susie looks at Kris, they look away too, and when Toriel falls down they just walk away and refuse to go anywhere but their bedroom. which is just UGHHH I feel so bad for them, they’re tired of this shit

Tenna saying “We’re a happy family RIGHT KRIS???” and the whole Dark World in their house being centered around ACTING and being an ACTOR… hm.

AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON PAPYRUS- This bits more my own biases, but it makes me sad imagining him being all alone in a messy house all night like this poor bastard 😭

theres just SO MUCH TENSION from Kris’ end, its so…ugh. The entire thing screams irresponsibility. It is insane tonal whiplash, but not for the funny reasons some may think on first viewing i think. From my perspective it went from somber pain, to more like…oh god. this sucks. so hard.

My opinion on Soriel has never been strong in either direction, but now I am just FASCINATED cause from this scene it feels like- toxic??? they’re enabling each others bad habits, like on the surface it seems innocent but in hindsight its incredibly irresponsible on Toriels half, and only maybe on Sans’, we still dont know his and Papyrus’ whole situation or anything.

But yeah I love when relationships are complicated and not always healthy! gives ME MORE TO ANALYZE

[kkayyerr]

Little girls don’t smoke.

Summary: Rafe catching little!reader smoking with Pogues. He isn’t very pleased about that, but he know how to deal with her.

Warnings: Age regression, dark!Rafe, manipulations, slightly forced regression, smoking.

„C’mon, he won’t find out!”

 

Kiara said, giving you a cigarette. You have never smoked before, and you were pretty unsure if you wanted to try. But Pogues were almost insisting; they wanted to see your reaction to the first cigarette, and they also wanted you to finally break free from your overprotective boyfriend. They were happy that you had sneaked out to hang out with them, and they wanted to remind you about your past lifestyle at least a little bit. 

You took a cigarette from the Kiara’s hands and put it in your mouth, frowning at the bitter taste. You coughed when the smoke filled up your lungs, but you had to admit that there was something addicting in that process. Though you were resisting to take another puff. 

 

„You know he’s always smoking, right?”

 

Sarah asked, raising an eyebrow. They didn’t know about your regression, and from their perspective, it was looking like an abusive relationship. They didn’t know that you needed his care, and sometimes you also you needed his control, even if you won’t ever admit it. You nodded, quickly folding under all the pressure and taking another puff, when you heard a loud cough behind you. You knew it was him. 

Rafe didn’t say anything. He just silently approached you, taking a cigarette from your trembling hands. He took a long puff before giving it back to Kiara. He was trying not to show any emotions, but his clenching jaw was betraying him.

Rafe was not happy about that. At all.

 

„It was nice to see you, folks, but we’re going home.”

 

Rafe wasn’t feeling like fighting with them right now. He needed to deal with you going against his rules first. He grabbed your arm roughly, almost enough to make it hurt, but you kept your mouth shut, knowing that anything you’d say would trigger him even more. When he had finally dragged inside the house, he silently commanded you to go upstairs and wait for him, and you did as you were told. You knew that he needed a couple of minutes to calm down, so he won’t freak out. Every minute felt like eternity, and when he finally entered the room, you sighed with a small relief. You saw that his expression softened a little bit, as he was trying his best to remain calm. 

 

„Who gave it to you?”

 

Rafe broke the silence immediately, making you even more anxious. His voice didn’t sound angry or upset; it seemed like he was curious about the whole situation. You didn’t want to betray Pogues by blaming your actions on them, but you also knew that they were partly responsible for that. 

 

„Kiara. But it’s my fault for taking it.” 

 

Rafe nodded, knowing that he would have a friendly chat with her later. But for now, his main priority was to make sure that you wouldn’t ever do stupid things like that again. He didn’t plan on punishing you. Why would he do that? The punishment would only have a temporary effect on you. He needed something that would last much longer than that.

He gently cupped your face with his hands; his thumb was caressing your cheek. Your gaze was already filled with naivety and with sincere devotion. It seemed like you were almost on your breaking point and he just had to push some buttons.

 

„Daddy isn’t mad at you, little one.”

 

He said, watching how quickly the anxiety look on your face turned into something else, something that only he could’ve caused, using the specific words that he knew for sure would trigger you enough to fall even deeper in the littlespace. He wanted you to regress even harder, so you won’t be able to take care of yourself and also won’t be able to sneak out or runaway from him like you did today. He needed you to need him. 

 

„I just care about you a lot, and they clearly don’t. I want you to understand that, baby.”

 

You nodded, even though you weren’t paying attention to his words. There were other things that made you feel so little. His gentle touches, soft voice, pet names. He just made you wish that you could’ve been small forever. But who said you couldn’t? You would be his little girl, always behaving and never leaving his side; isn’t that sound like an actual dream?

 

„You’re still Daddy’s little girl, yeah?”

 

The second he said that, your face was buried in his neck, and your hands were holding him tightly, demonstrating just how much you needed him. Rafe’s eyes closed as he was enjoying that peaceful moment. His little girl was here, with him, under his care and control. The pogues can call it abuse; they can call it whatever they want, but for both of you, it was an escape. Rafe was your savior, and you somehow became his. He slowly picked you up, so you would hold onto him more comfortably. 

 

„Do you want your pacifier?”

 

Rafe knew that he had won when, instead of words, he heard your quiet murmuring. 

Taglist: @tinylilacbun @rafecameronsloverrrrr @aew-regression-cove

[mint-in-the-moonlight]

putting the poly back in polytheism

something that I've noticed in neo-pagan/polytheist spaces is this focus on one or a few deities. while this is a valid approach and seems to be working amazingly for many people, i wanted to write a short defence of a different form of polytheism that, while maybe less visible on social media, is equally viable.

the poly in polytheism necessitates the belief in multiple gods however modern forms of worship take many different forms on top of that. from my years being in pagan spaces on social media I have noticed that to many, being a polytheist means worshipping one or a handful of gods and having very close relationships with them. which deities someone chooses to have this kind of relationship with stems from multiple possible sources, for example, personal interest, the deity's domain being somehow related to a person's life or an inexplicable draw to them.

to me, this seems to be the dominant view on social media of the form that neo-paganism takes, however, after years of exploring my spirituality and practice, I have come to the conclusion that this is not how I want to worship. I am writing this post for more people like me, who are interested in exploring this often less mainstream approach.

an ancient template

reading about Ancient Greek and Roman civilisations I was always struck by the number of minor deities with hyper-specific domains and associations. as a modern pagan, I could not understand the appeal of worshipping such a deity, ie. using so much time and resources to build a relationship for only a handful of niche issues that you could approach them with.

but as I kept reading and exploring, I realised that I was approaching polytheism completely differently than the ancients did. they truly did live in a world full of gods and they did not require a relationship built over days, if not weeks or more, to approach a deity and ask for their aid.

as long as you followed the rules of reciprocity, you could approach any deity that was relevant to your situation because they were the best equipped to help you with your problem. now this is not true for all of the population all the time, there were definitely also for example, people devoted to one deity, but from my understanding, this seemed to be the general form that polytheism took in those ancient civilisations.

the influence of monotheism

I think another feature of online neo-paganism is this expansion of the major deities' domains which then removes the need to worship the smaller deities. now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for expanding the domains of deities, especially if this is done from a revivalist perspective in order to modernise them for the contemporary worshipper. but sometimes I feel like completely unrelated domains are added for the sake of convenience more than anything else, ie. so that someone can keep worshipping the same deity(ies) without approaching others.

this, in my opinion, goes against one of the core aspects of polytheism which is the idea that different gods rule over different domains and have power over them. following this idea, it would make very little sense to pray to Neptune during air travel as he has no influence over the skies. yet, I sometimes see the deities be treated more like monotheistic gods which are all-powerful and can influence anything in the world.

if this is your view of how the gods work, that's fine, but I feel like sometimes people accept it without questioning it much or thinking about their view of theology at all. after mulling this idea over for some time, I realised it made much more sense to approach those specific deities, even if they are much less known or minor because this fits into my beliefs about polytheism much better.

a poly-practice

so, how would a poly-polytheistic practice look like in the modern day? well, there are many ways to go about it but I will just share bits from my own experience.

what I have ended up doing is focusing on different deities as they become relevant in my life - I focused on worshipping Janus at the beginning of the year while also taking the time to pray to Fortuna in moment when I needed her aid. I then did some extra reading on Jupiter, but didn't forget to thank Mars every time I went to the gym. I no longer felt the pressure to have some sort of special "connection" to every deity or "feel their presence", just trusting that they are there and then catching glimpses of divinity in my daily life.

looking into which Roman festivals I wanted to celebrate also opened my perspectives to more deities I would not have otherwise worshipped on my own. like this, I feel like I am building an arsenal of deities I can turn to when I need and of course, it is also vital to remember that I can call on multiple ones at the same time, just like the Romans saw the gods aiding one another in their tasks.

I only have one altar, which is practical and thus quite minimalistic, but there is space for my prayer notebook as well as other supplies that I need for my rituals.

conclusion

of course, this kind of practice results in a much more "impersonal" relationship with the gods, but I never really felt the need to communicate with them directly or things like that, so it fits me well. I find comfort in imagining a world full of gods, who may only know me in passing but who look out for me nevertheless.

in the end, the goal of this post is not to change anyone's mind about how they worship, but to present an alternate perspective which you can learn from but also completely disregard. in the end I am just happy that you were interested enough to reach until the end of this post. thank you for reading!!

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Potatoes Weren't On The Grocery List!

Pairing: Russell Shaw x f!reader, Reader POV

Prompt:"Please put the potato down."

Requested By: @zepskies

Summary:  When your boyfriend comes back into town acting different and won't tell you what's wrong, you jump to an extreme conclusion, and use an unusual form of punishment to get some answers. Saturday morning at the supermarket just got a little bit more interesting...

Tropes: Established Relationship, Suspected Cheating, Fluff

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: References to Sex, Sexual innuendo, Kissing, Cursing, Little bit of self-deprecating thought (reader), Jealousy, Supposed Cheating? Embarrassing Situation at a Supermarket? Inappropriate Use of Potatoes? Cheesy Potato Jokes? I think that's everything? This one is more fluffy than anything else.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is no use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

Main Masterlist

Prompt Celebration Masterlist

A/N: This is another prompt requested for my prompt celebration by my lovely friend @zepskies 💗 Thank you so much for sending this one in! Alright, I know this entire situation is just CRAZY, but it really did make me cackle to think up another way of using potatoes. 🥔

“Would the owner of a red Prius with a bumper sticker that says ‘Driver Picks The Music, Shotgun Shuts His Cakehole’ please come to the customer service desk?” A nasally voice crackles over the intercom, halting the sound of “Heaven Is A Place On Earth” that plays over the loudspeaker in the supermarket. “Again, would the owner of a red Prius with the-”

The rest of the message is drowned out in the high pitched squeak of a shopping cart against terrazzo two aisles away, the smell of cinnamon and fresh bread that floats from the bakery, and the chatter that buzzes up over the towering shelves of food.

Saturday was meal prep day, which meant that you spent your morning weaving your cart in and out of the crowded grocery store one block away from your apartment buying everything you needed for the week. 

But despite how long it took, grocery shopping never felt like a chore because you believed it gave you a snap-shot into someone else’s life. 

You spent all those Saturday mornings watching other people and creating stories for them in your head. Why they bought something, who they were shopping for, noticing who they were shopping with, wondering what they would cook-

It was intimate, feeling the world slow down for just a few moments to live in the present with them.

Noticing a man on the phone in the feminine hygiene section talking to an unseen entity, watching a little girl eat an apple while her mother reaches up for a box of cheerios, waiting in line behind a guy with only a box of condoms and spearmint gum in his basket,  hearing a girl hum a little too loud and dance to the song blasting from her headphones as she shopped, and walking behind a woman  in a power suit who studied a grocery list scrawled on a scrap of paper.

They were all going somewhere, all moving forward with their day and yet you all shared this single moment of serendipity, to be in the same place at the same time.

Unfortunately, today you were not enjoying it one bit and it had everything to do with the man standing at the end of your shopping cart studying an alarming amount of avocados with a blank expression.

Something was wrong. 

You knew that the second your boyfriend, Russell, had come home. He’d been on a case with Colter a few states away, pulled from your arms in the middle of the night when he got an S.O.S from his younger brother, and because the two of you had been dating long distance comfortably for the better part of three years, you could tell that there was something seriously bothering him. 

But you didn’t know what. 

It was the first time in your entire relationship that you couldn’t tell what Russell was thinking and all it did was frustrate you further. 

He was distant, moody, and on edge. You’d never seen him like this before, not even when you brought him home to meet your family for Christmas last year. Sure, he’d been a little jittery and you’d made a joke about him being more afraid to meet your dad than he was to face a convoy of armed guards, but Russell was not like this ever. 

Your boyfriend was calm, collected, and smooth (too much sometimes, but you weren’t complaining). What he was not was jumpy and nervous. It took a lot to rattle him given what he’d been through. That’s why you were worried, because the man standing at the end of your shopping cart was not your boyfriend. 

Maybe he got body snatched while he was out of town? 

The idea that aliens had come down and taken the man you loved hostage was one of the only possible reasons why he was acting so odd. 

Russell had barely said two words to you since he’d dragged himself into the apartment last night. He had gone straight into the bathroom for a shower, not bothering the usual running joke the two of you had when he would throw you over his shoulder and bring you with him for a well deserved bit of R and R.

And when he’d come out of the shower, a vision in a small bright pink towel tied around his waist, his bare chest glistening in the dim light of your bedroom, dark hair dripping wet and hanging forward to frame his chiseled jaw, while the mist from the warm water floated behind him and framed the beautiful man that you couldn't believe was yours, it made you feel so warm it rivaled Mt. Vesuvius before it blew.

You’d wanted to demonstrate how much you’d missed him, and you’d tried whispering sweet nothings into his ear while your fingers tickled along the edge of the towel, but Russell had kissed you on your forehead, pried away the curious fingers, and said that he was “tired.”

It made your blood run cold. 

Reunion sex was the best tradition the two of you had, something you both appreciated and that fact that he’d said “no,” raised a red flag in the back of your mind the size of Texas. Russell never said no to sex, especially not after a long period of separation. 

He’d gotten stabbed a year ago while on a mission, spent two nights in the hospital following a surgery (where he complained the whole time about how he didn’t need to be there), and when you brought him home and he started to get a little friendly, you told him that you didn’t think that sex was a good idea, that he needed to rest, but he’d said that it was “just a graze” and then made love to you for an hour.

Sure, you’d done most of the work, he was in recovery for goodness sake, and you didn’t want to rip his stitches… but this was different.

Russell was avoiding your gaze, acting fidgety, and when you’d tried to kiss him, Russell had opted to shift his face away to give you a quick kiss on the forehead instead.

And as much as you liked a good forehead kiss, you hadn’t seen Russell in over a week and all you wanted was a heated kiss that made you lose feeling in your legs and forget that he was gone at all.

You didn’t know what you did wrong and you tried to think of something that you could have done to make him angry or annoyed with you, but there wasn’t a single thing. The last time that you’d spoken to Russell was late four days ago and he’d told you how excited he was to see you and that he missed you. 

But then why is he acting like this?

Russell pulls his phone out of his pocket and taps something quickly on the screen that’s angled away from you, his movements swift and to the point. But you note a small smile pulling at the end of his mouth. It was the first time you’d seen him smile since he got home. 

You felt unsettled, anxiety thrumming and prickling along your skin like pop rocks.

You wanted Russell to talk to you. It wasn’t like him to keep things inside, if something was bothering him he was upfront about it, not passive aggressive. He didn’t slam every cabinet in your apartment or leave all the drawers in the bathroom open when the two of you were in a fight, Russell would tell you what pissed him off.

Usually it was you that drove him crazy, but he’d always said he liked it, kept him “on his toes,” and made him feel like a lion tamer in a circus. 

An audible sigh comes through your lips, but Russell doesn’t look at you, instead he continues to tap something on his phone. 

It reminded you of what you’d discovered him doing early this morning.

You’d woken up at four am, call it fate or just one of those random moments your body woke up before your mind did, but when you realized that you were alone, it made you uneasy. 

In the three years you’d been together, Russell couldn’t keep his hands to himself, especially when he was asleep. That meant each time you woke up, Russell was laying on top of you, his strong arms wrapped around you in a bear hug, while he nuzzled his head into your hair and murmured things in his sleep you couldn’t understand. 

It was your safe place, somewhere that felt unbreakable.

Entwined in Russell’s arms in the early morning with his warm body tensed around yours was better than a fluffy blanket on a cold day, better than a hot cup of cocoa that drove away a nightmare, and better than slipping into the gentle embrace of a familiar book. 

It was always you that had to convince Russell to let you out of bed while he begged for another five minutes, not the other way around.

However, this morning you’d woken up to an empty bed with sheets long cold and found Russell sitting on the threadbare couch in the living room of your apartment talking on his phone in a hushed whisper.

The only words that you’d been able to make out were: “No, I haven’t talked to her yet honey.” 

Your entire body had gone cold with one sentence. You had no idea who he was talking to or what Russell had to “talk” to you about, but all you could focus on was that he called whoever it was, “honey.” 

It made an uncomfortable lump settle in the back of your throat. You didn’t want to believe that your boyfriend was cheating on you, but there was a little part of you that had begun to unravel, a thread in the back of your mind unwinding as you put together all the clues that Russell had given you since he came back. 

The suspicious phone call, the fact that he didn’t want to make love, Russell acting distant and jumpy-

It didn’t bode well.

The thought of losing him made you want to throw up.

Russell was the place of refuge you went to when your world fell apart, and without him you didn’t know how to function. Before him your life was organized into neat little boxes and checklists, but Russell had shown you that you couldn’t control everything in your life, he brought a reassuring and welcome disorder that made you feel alive in the best way. He helped you embrace the chaos to make a life worth living.

The thought of going back to the mundane world you knew before Russell where all the men seemed to be carbon-cut frat boy copies of one another, or wanted a cookie cutter life with a woman who never spoke her mind, or never called back, never offered to pay for dinner, and never opened doors for you filled you with dread. 

So you decided to go grocery shopping to clear your head and to get away from Russell for a little bit. It was the first time that you’d wanted to be away from him in all the years you’d known him and it broke your heart. Unfortunately, Russell had insisted on coming with you.

It was the only normal thing he'd done since he got back. Russell liked to do things with you no matter how mundane they would have sounded to someone else. Going to pick up the dry cleaning? Sign him up! Going to get some new thread for your sewing machine? Check! When Russell was back in town, he was back and nothing stopped him from being with you.

You would have found comfort in him coming with you if he wasn't acting lost.

The drive in his car to the supermarket had been silent and awkward, every conversation you tried to start when Russell came to a stop at a light lost in the wind. And even now Russell followed behind you like a zombie there, but not quite present.

It was an even bigger red flag, because the old Russell who came with you to the grocery store  was incapable of walking down an aisle without finding one thing that he wanted. Whether it be an oversized bag of sour gummy worms or a new brand of sriracha flavored potato chips, your boyfriend was insufferable when you brought him, and you loved every second of it.

But not today. 

He hadn’t said a word since you left the apartment, he even walked past the peaches without making an obligatory butt joke, and you still couldn’t think about the joke he’d made about the eggplant the last time he came with you without blushing.

Today all Russell did was stand there, his hands in his pockets, staring at the avocados, and his muscles tense beneath his army jacket as if he was anticipating something you couldn’t see. 

Like a break up. 

The thought made you clench your jaw together so tight you worried about the possibility of TMJ. 

The urge to say something, anything was building in your chest, but you didn’t know how to start a conversation without crying or cussing him out using the colorful vocabulary you’d adopted after you met him. 

The longer you stood, the more the thought of Russell cheating on you with someone else began to stitch its way into your head. Warped images of Russell in a dingy motel room along the road with a faceless woman in bed, rolling around with her for hours, the two of them laughing at your expense flashed through your mind on a sickening reel. The sentence you heard him say into the phone bouncing around in your head like a rubber ball.

His phone buzzes in his hand again, and your boyfriend’s smile widens before he types something out. 

Before the two of you had started dating, Russell had been talking to Reenie regularly. Reenie with her perfect black hair, clear skin, tight pencil skirts, pristine power suits, and beautiful smile. Reenie who's badass lawyer skills made what you do for a living seem dull in comparison. Reenie who was so much of a grown up you felt like a little girl watching her mother get dressed for work.

The faceless woman in bed with your boyfriend at a motel adopts Reenie’s physique and a roar of jealousy vibrates in your head so loud it might as well be a swarm of angry bees.  

Frustration, hurt, heartbreak, and anger formed a hard ball in the base of your throat and before you can stop yourself, you pick up the nearest object, a potato,  and throw it as hard as you can at your boyfriend. 

It hits him between his shoulder blades, glancing off his muscular back, before landing on the concrete floor with an audible thud. 

You’d been aiming a little higher, but it does the trick, and it makes you feel a little bit better.

“What the hell?!” Russell turns to stare at you, showing more emotion than he has in the past 12 hours since he got back home. “Did you just throw a potato at me?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Because I-” You hesitate. 

You didn’t want to come out and say it, it was too terrible for you to think about. The man you loved, your best friend, cheating on you, especially after how long the two of you have been together. Instead of answering you pick up another potato.

“Whoa!” Russell holds up his hands in surrender, cracking a signature half-grin that causes another fissure to open in your heart. It was the first time that he’d genuinely smiled at you since he got back. “Didn’t think potatoes were on the list today Sweetheart.” 

“They are now!” You throw it at him, but Russell ducks. The potato sails through the air past him and lands in a colorful tub of summer squash, jarring a produce clerk restocking a display of apples nearby.

You reload. 

“Baby wait!” Russell half ducks behind the cart, preparing for battle. Confusion and a little bit of humor flash in his eyes. “Can you please tell me what’s wrong before you beam me with Mr. Potato-head?”

“You know!” The rough skin of the potato grates against your skin as your grip tightens. 

“No, I don’t.” His gaze flicks to the projectile in your hand. “I mean, I like french fries as much as the next guy, but that’s still a little raw.”

You could feel your frustration and heartbreak swirling and beating into a wildfire in your chest, burning in the air around you as the image of Russell and Reenie writhing in bed together comes skittering back into your mind. Granted, there was a part of you that knew playing dodgeball with potatoes in the grocery store was ridiculous, but you were so upset about what you thought your boyfriend was doing that it was difficult to form the words to express it. 

And throwing potatoes at him seemed like the only option.

"Please put the potato down." Russell says, still half crouched behind the grocery cart. 

“No!” You take aim at his head, cocking up your arm for the next throw.

“Can you at least tell me what’s wrong?” Russell’s hands are still up in front of him, anticipating your throw, preparing to duck if need be, but his green eyes glint with a playful mirth. “Or are you going to show me what happens when good potatoes go bad?”

He looked like your Russell again, not some statue of the man you were in love with as he had the past few hours. It was infuriating that this was the thing that made him return to normal and not anything else that had happened in the 12 hours since he'd gotten home.

This time you find your words.

“Who is she!?” You screech so loud that everyone in the produce department stops to look over at Russell and you. 

They were probably already watching given the fact that you’d thrown two potatoes at him and were about to unleash a third at any moment. You really hoped that you didn’t end up on the internet or the news, especially because your mother watched it religiously and would call to say “I told you so” about Russell. Ever since you’d brought him home she’d call to ask if you’d broken up with him yet. He still hadn’t won her over and this wouldn’t get him any brownie points. 

“What?” Russell’s smile slips into a confused frown. 

“Who is she?!” 

By now the song “Heaven Is A Place On Earth” has begun to play again over the loudspeakers, the familiar tune echoing above the sounds of the supermarket.

“Who is who?” 

“The girl you’re cheating on me with!”

“What?” Hurt flashes in his eyes followed quickly by surprise. “You think I’m cheating on you? Really? After everything we’ve been through together baby?”

“Don’t you baby me Russell Shaw! You’ve been acting weird since you got back! Avoiding my gaze, acting twitchy, not talking to me, refusing to touch me! Saying that you’re too tired to make love!” That last part you hadn’t meant to shout as loud as you could in the middle of a grocery store on the busiest shopping day of the week. 

The elderly woman shopping for cucumbers on the opposite side of the produce display looks up to watch the two of you. Her eyes drag appreciatively over your boyfriend before picking up a large cucumber from the pile. 

“You think I’m cheating on you because I told you I was tired?” Russell huffs out a laugh. “Baby, I get tired, I’m not a machine-”

“And I heard your little conversation this morning on the phone.” You continue, not smiling, your fingernails curling into the rough skin of the potato in your hand.

You hated that he wasn’t taking any of this seriously. Russell was laid back yes, but even he knew better than to tease you when you were angry, and Russell himself understood when his care-free attitude left little to be desired when you were furious with him. 

“No, I haven’t talked to her yet honey!” You mimic his voice holding up the potato above your head, the axe over a head on a chopping block. 

Hot frustrated tears roll down your cheek, the urge to sob catching under your rib cage, but you swallow it down. 

A part of you wished that you were more calm and collected, not standing in the produce section of your local grocery store with a potato clutched in your hand like mjolnir, crying.

“Sweetheart-” He sighs and extends his hand towards you, intending to bring you some comfort. Some of his hair has fallen forward to frame his face in the commotion, and in a perfect world you would have brushed it back with a gentle smile and a kiss to the tip of his nose, but not this one. 

Heaven is most certainly not a place on earth. 

“No, don't touch me!” You flinch away from his outstretched hands, taking a shaky step backwards, tennis shoes squeaking against the floor. The image of him and Reenie was back, festering beneath your skin, followed by the sound of him whispering on the phone this morning. 

His concerned frown drops into hurt and if your heart wasn’t already broken, that would have done it, seeing Russell look at you that way. 

You’d never deprived him of your touch or the ability to touch you. Something that you’d learned early in your relationship was that deep down Russell longed for more than just one night, more than just a random fling with a woman late at night. He wanted something permanent, especially after he'd spent his entire life having the world slip between his fingers.

He’d had to learn how to be self-sufficient from an early age and deprived himself of what he really wanted for so long. But then he’d met you. 

You knew deep in your heart that Russell longed for your touch and you in more ways than one. Not just for his pleasure, but the gentle lean of your head against his arm when you watched tv or the brace of your hand against his shoulder when you needed to push past him in the small hallway of your apartment or the warm embrace you gave him in the night when he came back to you. For you to take it away from him hurt more than you could ever know. 

He’d had a handful of relationships, but none of them were as long as the one the two of you had and it made you feel proud to know that you were changing things for him, and that you were showing him what a healthy long lasting relationship looked like. 

That was until you started lobbing potatoes at him in the produce department on your favorite shopping day of the week.

“Please, listen to me.” He pleads. This time he doesn’t try to touch you, but hurt flashes through his eyes again. 

It was enough to almost make you cave. You didn’t want to believe that Russell would cheat on you, he never seemed the type for that. Sure he was flirty and spent a long time away from you, but you had trusted him because you’d believed that Russell honored your relationship the same way you did. 

“Why should I? It all makes sense. You’ve been acting distant since you got back, you won’t touch me, you won’t even kiss me-”

“Can you please listen to me for one second?” He interrupts before running his hand through his hair to give it something to do, avoiding the urge to reach out for you again.

“No, I don't want to hear any of your excuses!”

Russell says your name in a frustrated tone. “It was my sister on the phone this morning.”

“Do you always talk to your sister at 4 am? Or oh, maybe it was Jake from Statefarm!” You roll your eyes. “How stupid do you think I am?”

“I don’t think you’re stupid. I’ve never thought you were stupid. It was Dory!”

“Then what was so important at 4 am that you couldn’t wait to talk to her?”

“Oh for the love of- This!” Russell thrusts his hand into the pocket of his army jacket, before he shoves something into your empty hand.

Your gaze falls to the small blue velvet box cradled in your palm, looking at it for a minute too long, the angry tornado inside making it hard to process what it is.

“Russell? What is this?”

“I called Dory because I needed her to give me a pep talk. I was too much in my head last night. And when I asked Colter the other day he didn’t help at all.” He cracks a small smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I wasn’t too surprised by that, my brother has never been as smooth or as smart as me.”

“To do what?” You ask hesitantly. 

Russell hesitates, measuring what he's going to say. The foreign nervous glint is back in your boyfriend's gaze, the one you'd seen since he came back. The same one that made you think your boyfriend had been abducted by aliens.

“Propose.” Russell rubs the back of his neck looking sheepish. “I was going to do this somewhere special, you know? Outside that taco truck we like or at least over dinner. Not a damn grocery store.”

You thought you were going to die of shock right there.

“You were going to propose?” Your voice comes out a little hesitant and squeaky. The potato in your other hand drops to the floor, the sound of it hitting the concrete thunderous. 

“Yeah. That’s why I had to tack on a few extra days to my trip. I wanted to talk to your dad in person, this didn’t seem like the kinda thing to ask over the phone.” 

“What?” Your mouth drops open in surprise. “You asked my dad?”

Russell nods. “I was surprised he said yes. I don’t think I’m exactly a favorite when it comes to you parents.”  He huffs out an awkward laugh, his green eyes twinkling with amusement. “I didn’t mean to be so distant, but I wanted it to be perfect. And each time I tried to think of a way to do it or try to figure out what to say I couldn’t. That’s a first for me Sweetheart, we both know that I don’t have any problems talking.” 

Oh my damn, I literally accused him of cheating. I’m a terrible person. 

“I was tired last night.” Russell continues. “But I did want to make love, fuck baby, I always want to make love to you, but I was worried that I would propose to you at the wrong time.” 

“The wrong time?” You swipe the back of your hand over your cheeks with a sniffle. 

“We both know that I’m not good at controlling what I say when you’ve got your hands all over me. Especially not when you’re in my lap riding me to high heaven.” Russell’s smirk makes your cheeks flush. 

There’s an awkward silence that fills the air between the two of you as your gaze drops to the box in your hand. 

I don’t deserve him.

“Are you sure that you still want to marry me? Even after I thought you were cheating?” The question comes out in a whisper, guilt tugging at your heart.

You hated that you’d treated him that way, assumed that he would be the kind of guy to cheat on you. Deep down in your heart you knew that Russell wasn’t the type, but it made you feel even more guilty for accusing him of that. 

Russell steps forward reaching out to you, but hesitates, his smile faltering. “Can I touch you now?”

“Yes.”

The relieved sigh that he releases when he pulls you into his tight embrace makes more tears spill from your red eyes. You hated that you’d said that to him, that you’d deprived him of the one thing he needed since the moment the two of you met. He tucks you into the little you-shaped nook between his shoulder and his throat, arms wrapping around you warm and familiar. It feels more like home than anywhere else. 

“Baby, nothing’s going to stop me from that. You could be a zombie with rotting lips infested with maggots and I’d still be the luckiest guy on the planet because I got to marry you.” His words rumble up his chest against your cheek.

“And you thought you didn’t have anything romantic to say.” You say with a giggle, squeezing him tight. 

“Zombies? That’s what does it for you?” Your boyfriend's chuckle shakes your body as his hand smoothes over your back, the motion calming your racing heart.

You sniffle out a laugh, nuzzling further into his chest. By now you were sure there were tears and snot on his t-shirt, but Russell doesn’t care, not when he has you in his arms again. 

“So is this a yes or are you just feeling really sorry for throwing potatoes at me?” He murmurs into the top of your head. 

“Say yes sweetie, or I will.” The elderly woman who was shopping for cucumbers stage whispers from your left. 

You didn’t know that she was still standing there, but all it did was bring a wave of embarrassment over you thinking of everything that you’d yelled at your boyfriend and done with the potatoes at your local grocery store. 

Damn it, I’m going to have to start shopping somewhere else.  

You pull back from Russell’s chest to stare up into the warm gaze of the man who’d always been there for you. “Yes.” You nod. 

The kiss he gives you is the one that you wanted when he came home. The rough scrape of beard against soft skin, the tangle of his tongue in your mouth, the warmth that bubbles up from the deep to swallow you whole as you lose yourself in the man you love, and the soft gasp that comes when Russell drags you further into him with a growl that rumbles through his muscular chest. 

“Now can we please go back to the apartment?” He rasps, warm hands holding on to your cheeks as if you’re going to slip away, his green eyes darkening with his words before they rake across your body. “I’d like to celebrate our engagement the old fashioned way. Unless you want to keep playing hot-potato?”

“No. We can go home.”

“Baby-” Russell rumbles once more, leaning his forehead against yours. “We’re already there.”

A/N: See happy endings all around! Thank you again @zepskies for asking me for this prompt and letting me explore another story with Russell! Daydreaming and writing about him never gets old 👀

Thank you so much for reading! Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are not required, but are always appreciated! I love hearing what y'all think! 😊 If you'd liked to be added to my general Jensen Ackles Character taglist or my Russell Shaw taglist please let me know!

Taglist:

@roseblue373 @livya99 @mrsjenniferwinchester @zepskies @louisanalady

@yvonneeeee @kr804573 @waynes-multiverse

[firegirl888101]

Insatiable Madness (13)

|Sagau Yandere Fatui Harbingers x Reader|

Progress then no progress, progress then no progress... You're beginning to grow sick of this, aren't you?

Reader is Gender Neutral!

You shut the door behind you, taking the last bite of your chocolate bar and scrunching up the plastic to put in the bin later.

“AH! Capitano, you scared me! Don’t just stand there and say nothing, the least you could do is greet us!” You jumped back, flinching forwards in pain when feeling the door handle dig into one of your hip bones.

“I was going to, but didn’t get the chance. Anyway, welcome back. Nothing changed whilst the two of you were out.”

“Thank you, whatever is looking out for me right now.” You silently prayed in gratitude. “I’ll be going back to my room.”

“Don’t cause trouble.” Arlecchino eyed you, walking away to somewhere else in the house. 

“Damn, I wasn’t that bad company, was I?” You questioned yourself, mumbling death threats whilst walking up the stairs towards your room.

What should you do now? Although you should probably be finishing the clean-up of merch, now that you think about it, you’re way too lazy to continue. You’ll probably just pick up where you left off the next time you feel especially disturbed by it. Anyway, today has been alright so far, very positive actually. If you ignored the fact that you were being held hostage, you could even call it good. Apart from failing to ask for help when there was a clear opportunity of course. Sure, you were most likely being followed by another harbinger, but you still could’ve thought of something!

Oh well, you’re back home now. You should stop worrying about things that have already happened, there’s no use doing so when in your situation. Let’s think about what to do next.

You sat down on your desk chair, pushing the keyboard away from the edge of the desk and grabbing your notepad which you effortlessly threw in front of you. After flipping through a few scribbled pages, you found a clean page ready to be written on.

Okay, so, you have some of the Harbinger’s working and supporting the house now. At least this guarantees the house won’t starve. As much as you hate to admit it, Pulcinella was right. Having their wages will definitely help things. But what should you do now? You’ve already tried communicating with the game, and that backfired horribly. Originally, you thought that consistently trying would be a good use of your time, but are you still sure about that? You’ve tried at least two times now, and nothing’s changed! You probably look like an idiot from an outsider’s perspective, screaming at the screen the way you have been recently.

…Maybe you should try one more time. Your mother used to say you were the stubborn type, and it seems she was right. It won’t harm things, since your previous attempts did absolutely nothing. And it’s not like the Harbinger’s will know what you’re up to… Yeah… just one more time! If you put your hope into this, something will definitely change. And if it doesn’t, you’re kind of stuck on ideas. Man, having a friend or two who cares about you would be so handy right now. 

Oh, another thing! You need to get a lock, or find something to bar up the door with whenever you’re in and out of your room. It probably won’t stop them entirely, but their struggle to enter the room will give you enough time to look normal when they force themselves through and not cause suspicion. Childe’s entry was cut way too close this morning. You’re very lucky he wasn’t paying attention to your room due to his own excitement.

You’ll get the lock later. For now, just turn on your computer and leave the game on. Although the idea freaks you out a little bit, perhaps you should also actually play the game whilst waiting instead of just staring at a character staring back at you with soulless eyes. Eh, actually, now that you know the characters are real, they’re probably not that soulless. 

The screen flashed a blinding light, before fading into the familiar scenery of Mondstadt’s city with Aether’s back facing you. You looked up, putting down your pencil and reaching over to the keyboard.

Let’s just start with daily commissions. That should be easy enough, right? Ah, but maybe you should add more people to the party first. Your commissions are all in Mondstadt, luckily, so you should probably include Mondstadt characters only. Albedo would be a good choice, and Venti… Hm, just add Fischl for the fun of it. There’s no synergy here, at all, but it doesn’t matter. Your characters are all strong enough to solo the enemies if you really wanted them to.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... …

Yeah… You’re hooked.

You’ve been playing Genshin for over an hour now, you didn’t even realise your tension easing away as you played the game! It started off as just completing your commissions, then old habits kicking in and completing leylines to get rid of resin. Then you decided to use your condensed resin in artifact domains and–

You’re going crazy.

Time really flies when you’re having fun, huh? Anyway, you should probably stop for now. During the time you were playing, nothing tried to contact you or looked out of the ordinary in the game. It’s safe to assume that nobody is coming to help you from the other side.

…Maybe it was all planned amongst everyone in the whole of Teyvat? The reason nobody’s come to help you is because the character’s are in on making you suffer for controlling them for so long?

No, snap out of it. Think logically, that can’t be the reason no one has come to help you. There must be something blocking them from communicating with you. Something that’s also affecting the Harbinger’s from returning to Teyvat in the first place.

‘This is hopeless’ You buried your head in your hands, the desk’s temperature cooling your forehead. ‘Seems like I’ll have to hold out for as long as possible. Perhaps I could–’

Ding!

‘Huh? What was that noise?�� You raised your head, squinting your eyes at the screen.

Ding! Ding!

That noise… It sounds like the mail notification! You reached for the mouse, your posture straightening and heart rate quickening. You dragged your mouse over to the mail button, clicking on it and reading the notification.

—  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  —

We can hear you, can you hear us?

—  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  —

That was the first notification… It says it was sent yesterday, during the time of your first plea for help! Why did it only come through now!? Better yet, why is the unknown writer communicating through the mail system? Couldn’t they have just vocally replied?

And the ‘We’... There’s more than one person who heard you! This is good. Does that mean the Traveller and potentially Paimon are the ones writing to you? Quickly, let’s read another one.

—  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  —

Why did you walk away? We’re trying to help you.

Could you not hear Paimon shouting?

—  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  —

Paimon was… shouting to you? No, you didn’t hear her. Yesterday you left because nothing was happening, you were unsatisfied with the results! Was she really trying to communicate with you? Ugh, this is why you need to be patient!

Anyway, this must be the reason why they’re communicating through mail. Their voices must not be able to come through to the real world! Something feels wrong though… The mention of ‘walking away’ is strange. How did they know you walked away? You’re looking too deeply into this, it was probably just written that way as a generic saying without any meaning behind it. They probably just meant that they couldn’t hear you anymore and assumed you left.

What does the third notification say?

—  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  —

You’re back, that’s great!

If you can see this, it appears we can’t communicate vocally for now. We can hear you, however, so feel free to update us on your current situation whenever comfortable and possible.

We’re working on finding a solution to communicate with you further. The Traveller, Paimon and I are working to gather geniuses all across Teyvat to come up with a solution to our current problem: you. As of writing this, we’ve managed to gather all the scholar’s in Sumeru, Liyue and Fontaine to join Mondstadt’s efforts in research to establish a stronger connection. Although this is a theory, we believe you will be the most important part of the process in figuring out how to return Teyvat back to normal. 

Speaking of returning Teyvat back to normal, I should probably tell you more about that other problem too. A problem that has caused almost every nation to join their intelligence together in the first place. Teyvat is currently suffering through imbalances - and nobody knows the reason why. Coming from me, I’m unsure why Celestia hasn’t intervened in the problem. My suspicions lie in Snezhnaya, and from what you’ve told us, I fear I might have been correct. You said the Harbinger’s were with you, beyond Teyvat, right?

Buer informed the rest of us that their existence in Irminsul is becoming more unstable by the day. Normally, I’d have an idea on how to correct the problem and deal with it privately. But this…? This has never happened before in any of the passages of time I’ve witnessed. Nobody can find any of the Harbinger’s anywhere, those who were personally with them claim they saw them just deteriorate from existence!

What’s worse is we can’t even get a direct account from Snezhnaya themselves! They’re violently turning away any messenger from any nation, some returning traumatised. We don’t know what they’ve done, in fact, I personally don’t think they know what they’ve done themselves!

We need your help. And to get your help, we need a more efficient way of communication. I’ll have to end this transmission here, any more words and I fear the machine might overheat completely. Please trust us, and don’t lose hope. We want to help.

-Venti

—  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  —

“I don’t… understand…” You breathed out, leaning back into your chair with shock bubbling over your limbs.

What did you just read? Is this actually happening? Teyvat is in danger… because the Harbingers left? And Celestia refuses to get involved? Well, that’s not too surprising considering the lore. Let’s read the message again, surely there’s something you’re missing!

You scanned the message again, noticing the time it was sent. An hour ago… Why did all the messages suddenly come through now? What about now changed!? Did they change something? The mail claimed they’d gathered geniuses from all over to tamper with ‘the machine’.

Are they even aware they’re in a game!? From the mail, you don’t think so. You’d like it to stay that way. Keep it professional, Y/N! Stay calm and reply, if what Venti’s saying is true, it could be their entire world that’s in danger. You thought it was bad that the Harbinger’s could potentially kill someone here. But their appearance elsewhere might be hurting their original planet? God, you’re all so fucked!

“Thanks for the reply… even if it was a little late. But you know, I’m happy that we’re now on the same page!” You coughed into your hand, laughing awkwardly after.

“Sorry, this isn’t the time to feel regretful. We’re in trouble right now and I’m clearly not helping. If I understand you right, we need to get the Harbingers back to Teyvat before Irminsul corrupts… no, imbalances further. I’m glad the majority of Teyvat is working through this, the reason I approached Mondstadt in the first place was because of Albedo. I hoped he would have an inkling on how to solve the problem, and now knowing lots of others are helping really puts my mind at ease.”

You closed the menu, watching Paimon bounce about with her usual idle animations.

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer you Paimon.” You apologised, smiling softly. “I was really frustrated with my situation. If I heard you shouting to me, I think you would have really cheered me up.”

“Could you… maybe wave? Or do something that I don’t normally see? I could really use a boost of confidence right now. Not like this isn’t already very reassuring! Words can’t express how relieved I feel at the moment!”

You looked at the screen, watching it begin to glitch and show a dark blue which didn’t suit Mondstadt’s colour scheme. Your whole screen turned into a night’s sky, stars swirling into each other in a warped formation. You marvelled at the pretty display, recognising the almost identical appearance to the Abyss.

That’s… strangely coincidental. You won’t question it for now though.

Eventually, it cleared, and showed Paimon waving with a beaming face. Her expression didn’t show any evidence of what happened to you also happening to them, making you sigh in relief. You waved back, laughing at her enthusiasm to keep doing so. So, this is what Teyvat really looks like? You noted the surroundings after the glitchy screen changed slightly, and the graphics more realistic. Maybe that was all the glitch was? Or maybe it was a sign of Irminsul being imbalanced? You’re not an expert.

Ugh it still looks unrealistically beautiful despite the world becoming less smooth and more detailed. Is your PC even gonna cope with this?? These graphics look insane!

“Alright, alright! I’m happy now. I feel a lot better, thank you… Let me know when something changes, or rather when something develops. I have nothing new to report really, other than the Harbingers have been desperate to also return. I mean, occasionally they’ve told me they felt a bit weird and alienated, but that’s probably nothing.” You put your arm down, Paimon doing the same and giving you a thumbs up.

“Listen.” You spoke in a different tone. “We’ll have to be very careful from now on. I don’t want the Harbinger’s to catch wind of what’s currently happening, nor do I want them to find this PC and realise their predicament fully. They think that there’s still a chance they can return to Teyvat by their means, but from what I’m hearing, there’s no chance when Irminsul has no record of their existence anymore.”

Paimon nodded.

“I’ll keep my computer on for now, so you can keep me updated. I’ll be leaving the room to try and strengthen the security of the room itself since my PC is full of passwords already. Stay safe, Teyvat doesn’t sound like the best place to live in at the moment.”

You turned around and walked away from the PC, opening the door and closing it behind you gently with a determined expression.

It’s finally happened, something’s actually gone your way for once, and you didn’t even have to work for it! Well, saying that, you did have to shout in desperation and cry a bit to get your way, but it all ended well so you’re not complaining!

Although… Why did their connection come through so easily? Surely trying to connect with something not only out of their universe, but also BYPASSING FUCKING REALITY should be impossible? Now that you think about this further, shouldn’t your suspicions be leaning towards Hoyoverse?

Whatever, you don’t know how they did it, and it really doesn’t matter right now. You’re curious, but your questions will have to wait for when you’re finally at a comfortable point where you see no risk of being harmed by the Harbingers.

Now, about that lock…

You opened the storage cupboard in the wall, grabbing the ladder and heaving it out of the small cubby with a grunt. Settling down the dirty ladder onto the clean carpet, you pulled out the supports and picked it up again, positioning it underneath the small door above the top of the stairs. Climbing the ladder with shaky legs, you breathed in nervously before pushing the door upwards.

Climbing through the open door and successfully planting your feet on the firm floor, you left the ladder behind you. You froze when officially entering the attic, noises scattering over the walls. Your body relaxed when you saw a familiar person in front of you.

“Sandrone?” You called out in confusion, hearing rummaging and familiar ramblings echo through the room. “That’s not you I can hear, is it?”

She looked behind her shoulder with a flustered expression, as if she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t have been doing in the first place. Her rummaging paused, a rusty metal pipe in one clenched hand and the other holding a ring with lots of different keys.

“This isn’t what it looks like.”

“I think this is what it looks like. Why are you in the attic? Also, how did you even get up here without a ladder?” You walked up to her and peered into the box she was rummaging around.

“I didn’t feel like playing house.” She looked away from you, continuing her rummaging when realising you weren’t going to stop her.

“Playing house?”

“The girls were trying on clothes, which heavily disturbed me I dare to mention. I decided to do something useful with my time, unlike Dottore, and see if there’s anything useful which can aid our efforts to return to Teyvat.”

“How on Earth did trying on clothes disturb you?”

“Well, I felt there was a better use for my time. The Captain found this hatch suspicious and asked me to investigate for any danger as he wouldn’t be able to get through the hatch himself.” She retorted, raising a pipe to her eyes and staring at it intently, nodding before placing it next to her.

Why can you just imagine Capitano giving Sandrone a piggyback now?

“Well, since you’ve been searching here already, you haven’t found a lock in here by chance, have you?” You asked her.

“No, I haven’t.” She gave a judgemental side eye. “Even if I had, I wouldn’t help you find it as I’m too preoccupied with my own search. Not only this, but your efforts to find a lock is useless. Do you take us Harbingers as a joke?”

“No! It’s for… self comfort. That’s all.”

“Self comfort?” She raised an eyebrow. “Are you an idiot?”

You shrugged, feeling uncomfortable in continuing the conversation. Sandrone sighed when noticing your expression, before pointing to a box she hadn’t opened yet.

“That’s the last box I haven’t gone through yet. There’s a high probability there will be a lock and key in there. Don’t think for one moment this will help you escape.”

“Thank you.” Your eyes widened. “I can’t believe you actually just helped me.”

“Just be quiet and grateful whilst finding it, you’re bothering me enough as it already is.” She scoffed, purposefully not looking at you to hide her rosy cheeks. “I expect you to help me when I ask for it in return. If you’re truly going to become my partner once we return to Teyvat, we must learn from each other dutifully.”

“I’m sorry, did you just say ‘partner’?”

She violently threw a pipe behind her, the sound crashing across the floor, and narrowly missing you. “Don’t worry about that for now. First and foremost, we must deliver you to the Tsaritsa. I will worry about gaining her permission to have whatever’s left of you when you’ve finished your purpose.”

It’s times like these that remind you these Harbinger’s are horrible human beings. Oh, and that Sandrone makes puppets like Katheryne, and she’s most likely referencing she’ll turn you into one for knowledge. Nice, that makes you feel comforted, these goosebumps on your arms are definitely just from the cold.

“I won’t worry.” You gulped in a quiet voice, using the keys she tossed to you on the closed box and opening it. 

Did she really help you without expecting something immediate in return? This can’t be right, there must be something she wants to ask you that she hasn’t revealed yet. She said it herself. She always expects something in return when she helps someone. Oh! Maybe she’ll ask you for a favou–

“Tell me about this world’s technology.”

Ah, there’s the question. There goes your optimism as well.

“What do you mean?”

“A couple days ago you mentioned that the humanity of this planet created new weapons. I’d like you to elaborate.”

“I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about. When did I mention what and why?”

“A couple days ago. You mentioned. Humans creating new weaponry. With dangerous chemicals. And different minerals. Explain.”

“Uhhh… Where did I mention this a few days ago?” You held back a smile, showing you were teasing her.

“The dinner table.” She was practically sneering, her voice threatening to get louder if you pushed her one sentence further.

“Ohhh, now I remember! Chemical warfare, sheesh, wow.” You whistled. “Yeah, these new weapons are unique because up until that point we’d been using swords and shields. Then we evolved to using shitty guns using pure gunpowder, then suddenly less than a hundred years later we’d evolved to use pure gases instead. And now? Ugh, don’t get me started.”

“Go on.” Sandrone nodded, attention solely focused on your words with her eyes sparkling in anticipation.

“That’s it. That’s the whole elaboration.”

“Excuse me? There’s clearly more reasoning than that!”

“Nah. That’s it.”

“Explain about a few of the specific inventions, don’t be so selective!” She argued. “You led it up to be something much bigger a few days ago, why so stingy now?”

“I can’t really say much, sorry.” You shrugged with a neutral frown. “I don’t know anything about it, truly. You’ll have to ask someone else, like a historian, for help with that question.”

“...You’re lying, I can tell.” She scowled. “I detest liars.”

And you detest your current situation. But beggars can’t be choosers, can they? Even though you definitely think she knows this, Sandrone needs to relearn that life isn’t fair. Here, she can’t threaten those around her using her Harbinger title to get the information she wants. Well, minus you of course.

“I helped you find the lock you were looking for, you’ll answer my question in honesty at once!”

“Pfft, you didn’t help me find the lock. This is my attic, I’ve been in this house longer than you’ve been in this world. Besides, there isn’t a lock in this box.”

“Actually…” She trailed off, physically pushing your body away from the box so she could shove her arms in it. After rummaging for a few seconds, a lock emerged from the pile of metal scraps inside.

“How did you-”

“Inventor's instinct.” She hid her hand behind her back after you tried to swipe the lock from her. She laughed in your face mockingly.

“Now, about that question I asked…” She chided, head tilting sideways.

This bitch! You gritted your teeth. I feel confident enough to tease her once in revenge, when she teases me all the time first, and now she’s hanging the lock against me like a dog!? Who does she think she is, Scaramouche?

“Ugh, fine.” You rolled your eyes, trying to hide your frustration.

You thought to yourself for a while, trying to dig up any information you could remember from secondary school when you learnt about this stuff. Should you just make a weapon up? They think you’re ‘The Decider’, which means y–

Hold on a minute, you forgot to ask Paimon who exactly ‘The Decider’ is in the first place! You knew you were forgetting something earlier! Oh well, that’s something to ask for next time you get a message, if you remember to ask it that is.

Anyway, that’s not what’s happening right now, keep your mind straight in front of you. If you don’t answer Sandrone, you’ll have to find a sturdy lock somewhere else. There’s no way she’ll give it to you if you don’t.

“Well, you wanted something particular, right?” A lightbulb practically lit above your head, remembering a specific piece of evidence from an essay you wrote years ago.

“Indeed.” Her eyes narrowed in warning.

“Let’s see… In World War 1, the janky technology used on the frontlines was very outdated. To combat this, countries began to develop new weapons in an attempt to overrun the trenches at a faster pace with lesser casualties. Of course, talking from the future, this only made the amount of casualties sky rocket. In particular, the Battle of the Som–”

You felt a sudden harsh tug at your hair, causing a yelp to escape from your lips that interrupted your explanation.

“I don’t care about your dumb history.” She seethed, eyes darkening in anger. “This world can rot in the lowest depths of the abyss for all I care. What I care about is the machinery of this decaying world, with its workings and purposes. Stop wasting my time with explanations that lead to nowhere but a readily dug grave for an organic lifeform to claim it as home.”

You trembled in fear, squinting your eyes closed when she pulled on your hair harsher. 

“Who do you think you are, testing my patience in a manner such as yours? You’re a nobody, especially considering the type of person you are. Without me by your side, you’re worth nothing. Your only use to me is your brain, and even then 50% of the time it’s lacking in anything convenient.”

A moment passed after that, silence ringing through the dusty room and a light breeze causing goosebumps to erupt on your arms. You opened one of your eyes cautiously to see Sandrone’s staring into your own, widened with shock.

She flinched her hand away from you, looking at it and back at you with her mouth gaped slightly open.

“You…! I can’t believe this, utterly ridiculous! To think that I…, me of all people,” She breathed in and out quickly, stepping back in realisation.

“No. I don’t believe it.”

What on earth is she rambling about now? Is she struggling to come to terms with threatening you directly in your face or something? That doesn’t really fit into her character though… Oh shit, did she realise you're not The Decider or something as stupid as that? 

“Enough of that.” She shook her head violently, grabbing her shaking raised hand which touched your hair moments ago.

“Continue, and if you dare mention something meaningless again, I’ll grab more than your filthy hair next time. Oh, and I’ll make sure it hurts.”

You’d laugh at the potential innuendo if you weren’t shaking from fear right now.

“The Germans made a harmful gas called mustard gas, whilst the British invented a new vehicle suitable for combat called a tank…” You were barely able to reply with a strong voice, watching her lips turn into a satisfied smile.

“Music to my ears! Was that so hard? What a good little assistant you are.” She cooed, tossing you the lock carelessly.

You didn’t catch it, the lock landing on the wooden floor with a harsh thud that startled you despite watching it hit the floor. You bent down without a word, picking it up and clutching the lock to your chest. Looking up, you saw her looking down at you with a threatening glare.

“Test my forgiving patience once more, and you’ll face something far worse than a ‘light’ tug to the scalp. Do you understand?”

You nodded silently, worrying your voice would betray you if you tried to give a vocal answer. Sandrone hummed, satisfied with your compliance and fear, turning around and walking back to her own box.

“Now leave me, you’ve already bothered me enough as is.” She didn’t turn back to look at you, loud sounds of rummaging cutting off any answer you might have replied with.

You should leave quickly before you annoy her again. Lesson learnt: don’t bother Sandrone if you don’t wish to be hurt in the process. In fact, just don’t approach her on your terms in the first place. Her patience is miniscule, she barely lasted two comments before blowing up in your face about giving detail.

You thought she’d prefer detail since that’s what she always asks for, what about now was different!? If you didn’t give detail, she’d get angry and blow up in your face about it. Give detail, and she replies the exact same way! What does she want from you!? You did nothing wrong!

The more you try to figure her thought process out, the more your head hurts. Your scalp is screaming at you right now, and she called that a light tug? She practically ripped out your hair! Forget it, the more you think about it, the more you’ll fall into a panic. Forget, forget, forget.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Walking back in your room with a sigh in an attempt to calm yourself down, you closed your bedroom door behind you and attached the lock to the handle, making sure that it worked.

It did indeed work, much to your relief. If it didn’t work, you’d have been so annoyed that your efforts from earlier would have been worth nothing.

Now… What should you do? Should you ask about The Decider, to try and get more information on them? But, you just communicated with Paimon not that long ago, it would be weird to suddenly strike up a conversation again. Quickly, let’s write down more questions to ask for tomorrow.

Once you finished scribbling on your notepad, you put your pen down and shivered slightly. Rubbing your arms aggressively, you noticed your goosebumps were still across your arms from the attic. Maybe you should get a blanket and have a nap for a while? You don’t feel like actually going to bed yet, it’s far too early.

Trudging over to your wardrobe with the intent of putting on pyjamas and finding your favourite blanket, you lightly put your hand over the indent and gripped it. Slowly opening the door, you revealed something behind it that definitely wasn’t clothes.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” You screeched, falling backwards in pure shock.

Columbina’s back was facing you, the girl holding one of your t-shirts to her chest, hugging it tightly as if it were trying to leave her embrace.

“What are you doing in my wardrobe!? More importantly, what are you doing in my room!? Get out!” You screeched again, Columbina turning around to face you.

“Your room is really nice, it’s such a shame you kept me out of it for this long.” She giggled at your bewildered expression.

“Although, now that we’re finally alone after days of waiting, I must ask… How long do you plan to keep your act up for?”

Somehow, you immediately knew what she was talking about.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play coy,” She giggled again, walking out of the wardrobe. “Although I was also tricked in the beginning, don’t treat me like the others.”

How did she… How did she figure it out? When did she figure it out is the real question, what gave away that you weren’t ‘The Decider’!?

“How…?”

“It was easy to figure out.” She shrugged with a lax smile. “For one, you’re extremely weak and fall victim to the other’s very quickly. The extent to you fighting back is arguments, which is not something I’d expect from someone so seemingly strong as The Decider. Which leads me to question your actual purpose in Teyvat.”

“My… purpose?”

“You, The Decider, can see the future. Our future. You take care of and strengthen any vision user you possess in return of using them for combat to aid the traveller’s journey. This is all we’ve known of you for a long time, which is why I was ecstatic to finally have the pleasure of meeting you!” She explained, eyes glistening in excitement.

“However… You were a lot more disappointing to meet face to face than I thought you’d be.” Her eyes narrowed. “Oh, the irony. Did you know that everyone in Teyvat considers you to be one of the strongest? Poor Childe, he was so excited to spar with you.”

Wait… you can save this! She thinks you’re just weak, but still The Decider! This is great, you can indirectly get more information this way if you follow along with her! Just be careful, one ounce of suspicion and she’ll question you more.

“Well, I’m sorry to be a big disappointment.” You rolled your eyes. “Could you leave my room now?”

“I’m not finished.” The tone in her voice changed, sending electric shivers down your spine.

“Now that we’re on the same page, I would like to know the truth to your powers. And also… if you’re a secret fan of us.”

“What.” You deadpanned after hearing her last few words.

“I must say, I’m very disappointed. Never, during our stay here, did I think you’d prefer Tartaglia over me. Rather, over anyone else. Your actions certainly don’t convey that opinion, although, it’s clear your affection lies in harsh truths over sugar coated lies.”

“Okay, now I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Hmm, that whale on your bed. It looks quite familiar. I wonder where I’ve seen it before?…~” She hinted, pointing to the plush toy laid across your pillows from where you threw it this morning.

No way. Does she think you’re a fangirl!? Not anymore you’re not!

“Ahhh, you’re referring to that.” You laughed off her suspicious smile. “That’s just a toy my aunt got me a couple years ago.”

“I see. Then, would this allow you to become a bit more truthful?” She covered her unnaturally wide grin with her dainty hand, pulling a familiar body pillow out from under your bed.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

HOW… HOW DID SHE FIND THAT!? FUCK, YOU’RE DEAD! YOU DIDN’T THINK SHE’D CHECK UNDERNEATH YOUR BED! WHAT KIND OF SICKO DOES THAT ANYWAY!? Wait, if she went under your bed… that means… oh shit.

“Why is your first instinct, when trespassing in my room, to look under my bed!?” You covered your flushing face, embarrassed beyond belief.

“Because that’s where everyone keeps all their secrets, silly!” She giggled with a few claps from her hands. “You’re not original you know, and besides, I found a lot worse under there.”

You’re cooked. You’re actually cooked. Goodbye actually okay reputation, goodbye not feeling embarrassed in the Harbinger’s presence, goodbye– yeah, you get the point.

“Anyway!” Her voice pitched higher. “What a nice pillow! Strangely hug shaped, and it’s not new either, I can smell your scent on it. I wonder what could possibly be on the other side, hm?”

“Please no…” You groaned in your hands, feeling your face grow even warmer somehow.

“You put this on yourself when you chose Childe over me!”

“I didn’t even know that you existed before Childe! How can I prefer someone over another when I don’t know the other existed in the first place!?”

“I suppose you have a point.” She put a finger on her bottom lip. “You met Tartaglia in Liyue, right?”

“Yeah, where are you going with this?”

“Oh, nothing!” She waved her arm in dismissal. “I’ve changed my mind about questioning you, I want to do something else.”

…That’s it?

“You’re… not going to tell anyone about this, right?” You hesitantly asked, grabbing her shoulder in a pleading tone.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Should I?”

“No.”

“Then it’s settled, it’ll be our little secret, mhm?~” She clasped her hands around yours on her shoulder, wings behind her head flapping.

“Our little secret. Thank you, Columbina.”

She simply laughed at you before turning around and walking towards your door. She swiped the lock easily with a raise of her hand, the speed so quick you could barely see the movement. You stared incredulously at the metal lock with a clean cut down the middle in pieces on your floor.

“Don’t thank me.” She didn’t turn back around. “I expect to be allowed in your room whenever I want to be in it now!~ You know what they say, don’t you?”

You didn’t reply.

“Huhu, nevermind. It seems you understand what I’m referring to anyway. Bye bye!” She gave a backwards wave before the door closed behind her on its own.

To be honest, you’re not even surprised anymore. You’re just tired at this point. Maybe it’s not too late to go to sleep after all. What a waste of time and effort it was getting that stupid lock.

Still… you should at least do one more thing before you go to bed. Something that would calm you down and not involve going on your PC to play a game. Hmm… ah, you might have one idea. It seems you’ll need your blanket after all.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... …

You walked through the dining room, passing by the Harbingers who didn’t seem to notice you. Opening the sliding door to the garden, a chilled breeze flew through you and past the doorway, the Harbinger’s heads snapping towards the direction it was coming from.

“Close the damned door, it’s cold!” Childe screeched from the sofa, hugging one of the pillows, with his eyes glued to the TV. He seemed to be watching a boxing match of some kind… well, at least he’s taking his new job seriously.

“I was doing that. You shouldn’t be complaining anyway, you grew up in Snezhnaya.” You closed the door behind you, taking a deep breath in to embrace the fresh air. They never said you couldn’t go in the garden, so you should be fine. It’s not like you could escape this way anyway, the fences are way too high to climb over.

Hugging the blanket around your shoulders tighter, you laid down on the dry grass and gazed up at the stars, their twinkling patterns almost hypnotising you.

“What are you doing here?”

You groaned at the familiar voices’ intrusion and didn't bother looking at him to confirm your annoyance.

“You know, there is a reason I came out here on my own.”

“And there is a reason why I came out here to accompany you too.” Scaramouche folded his arms, looking unimpressed with your decision to come outside.

“To make sure I don’t escape, yeah, yeah, yeah.” You replied.

He didn’t say anything after that, groaning in annoyance to himself before laying down next to you with an unusually serene expression. There was a silent agreement amongst the two of you when you turned to him in confusion, eyes talking instead of words. It seems he wants to join you in looking at the stars, is he just shy to admit that out loud or something?

“I can tell exactly what you’re thinking, get that idiotic cloud out of your head.”

You hate this guy. He had to ruin the mood, didn’t he?

“Shh, I’m busy thinking.” You lightly scoffed in a gentle voice, turning back to the stars and tracing their patterns in your head.

“How rare.” He commented, snickering at your sudden turn to him. “What? You’re looking at me as if it’s not true.”

“...Whatever.”

He was the one to look taken aback this time. “No argument in return, really? You really must be out of sorts then.”

“I can’t be bothered to fight right now. I’m so tired, but my eyes won’t let me sleep. Today’s been an emotional day, and a pointless one without meaning. Every single time I feel like I’m finally progressing in something, something else gets rid of all my progress and pisses me off!” You sighed, closing your eyes.

Well… Apart from the successful communication with Teyvat of course, but you can’t mention that to him. Still though, you’re feeling really shitty right now.

“You went outside with The Knave, and even bought some of your favourite chocolate. That’s one good thing, isn’t it? Ungrateful brat…”

“Yeah, I suppose so.” 

Your eyes snapped open, realisation in your eyes. “I was right! There was another Harbinger following us outside! And it was you?”

Good thing you decided not to ask the girls in there for help after all, they might have been killed by Scaramouche once you and Arlecchino left if you had! The more you think about it now, the more your stomach hurts…

“Yes. So what?” He shrugged.

“I just… didn’t think you’d reveal it so quickly. I thought you would’ve kept it a secret or not mentioned it at all, you know, like a normal person.”

“I didn’t care whether you figured it out or not, I didn’t think it was a secret.” He smirked to himself. “I’m also not a person, idiot.”

“...”

“...”

“Was that meant to be funny?”

“Shut your mouth, you knew what I meant.” He elbowed your stomach lightly. “I’m now fortunately in a good mood, you should say what you want to now.”

“That’s good for you.”

He sighed again, shaking his head. “Will you stop moping like a saddened sunflower? It’s annoying and starting to make me uncomfortable. And that’s saying something.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” You rolled your eyes, feeling jealous. “Go somewhere else if it bothers you that much.”

“And here I was, thinking my presence would invigorate you.” He shook his head in disappointment. “Speak. What’s wrong now?”

“Don’t act like you care, I would never confide in you for anything.” You glared at him, the Harbinger gritting his teeth in reply with furrowed eyebrows.

“How dare you…! After trying to be nice, this is what I get in return!?”

“You don’t get it, do you?” You asked him apathetically. “You can’t just expect me to tell you after you order me to, that’s not what being ‘nice’ is. That’s controlling and just making me not want to tell you more.”

“Hmph, you say this, yet you’re not taking my effort into account.”

“If this is what you call putting in effort, shouting when things don’t go your way, you must be tired from putting ‘effort’ in everything all the time.” You watched his expression grow into one of something you didn’t recognise, seemingly letting your words sink into his head.

At the end of the day, Scaramouche during this stage of his life is just an angry traumatised toddler who acts all tough to prevent his gentle nature from leaking out. He doesn’t want to care about anyone again, so he pushes all who talk to him away rudely in hopes they don’t approach him.

To be honest, he alongside Childe are probably the easiest Harbinger’s to deal with. …In terms of getting them on your side at least. Sure, Childe would probably be harder considering his unwavering loyalty to the Tsaritsa and connections with Pulcinella taking care of his family, but you feel as if you could do it.

Scaramouche on the other hand is a temperamental landmine on the opposite side of the spectrum as Sandrone. That’s how you see it anyway, you could be very wrong and offend die-hard fans if you told someone that. Actually, you’d probably offend both Sandrone and Scaramouche as well since they hate each other.

“Stupid. You’re a stupid mortal who doesn’t know their place. Defying one of your kidnappers, as you like to call us, is a dumb idea. Are you asking for death?” He finally answered your small scolding, breaking your previous thought process.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” You said, voice mellow. “Anyway, could you let me stargaze in peace now?”

“Pfft, that’s what you came out here to do? You could have worn warmer clothes than that!”

“A blanket is enough, I don’t plan to fall asleep out here. Besides, you’re not wearing warm clothes either.”

“How many times must I tell you…” He trailed off before dropping the topic. “Besides, I don’t see what’s so great about the stars,” He commented. “They’re not even real anyway, just because they look different from Teyvat doesn’t change the fact that they’re fake.”

You gently laughed at him. “You just said it yourself, these stars look different from the ones in Teyvat. If you’re really that interested, then yes, these are indeed what real stars look like.”

“I thought as much.”

“If you thought as much, why say it?”

“...”

“What is the focus of constellations in this world?” He ignored your question, asking his own instead.

“Well…” You thought to yourself. “It depends on who you ask, as everyone believes in different things. Some believe them to be the souls of others who have passed on and watch over their families, some believe them to be heroes from legends, some believe them to exist for interpreting a God's will. Some even believe them to interpret human’s behaviour. - Those are called horoscopes.” You listed to him.

“What are the Gods like in this world?”

“It depends on who you ask. Once again, there are many different religions here. Some religions don’t believe in Gods, and focus on morals and ethics instead.”

“...If only it were like that in Teyvat.” Scaramouche grumbled. “Maybe then worshipping the current Archons wouldn’t be as common.”

“Maybe so.” You shrugged, choosing to ignore his clear jealousy. “Not everyone has a religion, you know. Kind of like Teyvat, actually…” You decided not to continue in courtesy of Khaenri’ah.

“So, people can freely choose to worship? Interesting…” He mumbled to himself.

“...What do the stars mean to you?”

“Me?” You thought out loud.

“Yes, stupid.” He deadpanned. “Who else would I be asking, the grass?”

“Ha-ha, very funny. For me, I don’t really know. I’ve never thought about it in detail before, I believe they mean nothing but something at the same time.”

“Are you talking gibberish? You contradicted yourself.”

“I know.” You sighed. “To be honest, I don’t know what I meant myself. I just replied with the first answer that came to mind.”

“Speaking of saying what first comes to mind, this is the first time we’ve talked alone since…” You stopped yourself, not wanting to think about it further.

“Ah.”

“Yes, I think ‘ah’ is an appropriate response.”

“Hmph, I’ll let it slide. What are horoscopes in the first place? I find it hard to believe they can control humans. At the end of the day, nothing can control those greedy insects.” Of course he wouldn’t know what they are!

“They’re a group of constellations that many believe impact a person’s personality and lifestyle. You get one when you’re born, depending on when your birthday is.” You explained.

“Do you have one?”

“Yeah, it’s ‘.....’.”

“And how does that impact your lifestyle? I’m guessing being stupid is a part of it.” He snickered in his hand.

“No!” You argued back. “I don’t know how it impacts me, I don’t follow horoscopes as seriously as others do.”

“Well, aren’t you useful?” He sarcastically replied.

“Your birthday is January 3rd, right?”

“...What the fuck is ‘January’?”

“Oh riiiiight, you wouldn’t call it that in Teyvat since Janus is a Roman god. Think of it as what your birthday would be considered here, I did the calculations.” You sweated, a chuckle escaping your lips.

“Sure, whatever you say.”

“Don’t mock me! Anyway, from your birthday, you’d be a Capricorn… Or would you be a Libra? I can’t remember, I’m more confident in you being a Capricorn.”

“And you gather that from my personality?”

“Nah, I’m talking about remembering when a friend and I geeked about it once for a project years ago.”

“Funny.” He bit his tongue.

“Hey, I…”

?

“I...” 

“The great and powerful Scaramouche hesitating to say something? What an honour to witness such a sight!”

“You’re clearly feeling better.” He narrowed his eyes, not appreciating your comment in the slightest. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, okay?”

Huh?

“Sorry about what?”

“I’m not repeating myself.” He scoffed, leaving you confused.

Wait… Is he genuinely apologising to you? This version of Scaramouche, the Balladeer, is apologising TO YOU?? And it’s him confessing a mistake!? You didn’t think this version of him could even say the word ‘sorry’, and yet here you are hearing it first hand! Has he hit his head? Or maybe this world is affecting his machinery?

“Do you really mean that?”

“I guess.” He shrugged, hiding his face from your view. “What’s done is done, I can’t take it back. I only said it to shut you up, you should feel grateful that I said it out loud.”

And grateful, you indeed are. Whilst you’re definitely not accepting his apology inside, you won’t deny this heartwarming act did make you feel better, did make you feel like you’re actually a person in at least one of the Harbinger’s perspectives.

It’s also very clear that he’s hiding his face in embarrassment. If you weren’t shaken up from earlier, you probably would have teased him about this already.

“Don’t tell anyone I said this, I’d never hear the end of it from those imbeciles.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” A smile appeared on your face, feeling a lot better. “Oh, and Scaramouche?”

“...What is it now?”

“Thank you.”

He turned over to look at you again, ready to reply but stopped himself when he noticed you were stiller than usual. He panicked for a moment, placing fingers on your neck before sighing in relief to find you were simply asleep.

“‘I don’t plan to fall asleep’, huh?” He mocked you in a whispered tone, looking up at the stars above him.

The stars… to him, it seemed like a personal audience to the two of you’s conversation, waiting eagerly to see what he’d do next. He didn’t know how to explain it, but these real stars made his porcelain feel strange. Shivers coursed through his body when thinking about it further. Perhaps this is the reason the stars were covered in Teyvat?

Enough gaping at the scenery, he should probably carry you to bed before you turn ill and become more argumentative than you already are. As much as he loves to see you more docile than usual, seeing you give up makes him feel like shit. He doesn’t know why, either, which is the annoying part. If you need him to cheer you up at your lowest, he supposes he could spare his time for you to pick you back up into a stable zone.

And it better just be him next time. He doesn’t know what he’d do if he saw you finding comfort in someone like the Knave’s presence again.

Picking up your body with care, he walked back into the house with your sleeping body draped over his back, your chin resting on his right shoulder. He shut the door behind him and walked through the living room with all the Harbingers staring at him.

“Want your eyes gouged out?” He warned them, clutching your legs tighter to not only control himself but steady you on his back.

“Pfuhu~, Balladder, I can take them back to your room. It must be tiring to hold them up.” Columbina smiled politely at him, doing a grabbing motion with both hands like a toddler wanting to be picked up.

“No thank you,” He also gave her a polite smile, the smile stretching across his face occasionally twitching. “They’re as light as a feather. I don’t blame you for being wrong, and neither would they, you’ve never given them a piggyback after all.”

“Now, now,” Pierro gave a warning glance. “I see exactly where this is leading. Control yourselves, both of you.”

“The Decider is asleep, don’t make too much noise.” Pulcinella coughed. “It’s been a long day for them, going outside must have tuckered them out.”

“They’re not a child.” Scaramouche recoiled in disgust.

“They sure do act like one!” Dottore laughed from the sofa. “No wonder they get along with Childe so well.”

“When will I be free?” The ginger prayed to the skies, muttering soft words.

“We’re moving off-track. Take The Decider to bed, I’m sure they’d rather you go in their room to tuck them in rather than leaving them to freeze outside. Come downstairs when you’re finished, we have a lot to discuss.”

“Indeed we do.” Dottore interrupted him. “Now that we’ve seen they can somewhat be trusted in going outside, I plan to go to the library with them.”

“Might I remind you we can’t read this world’s alphabet?” Sandrone hissed.

“A minor obstacle.” He replied to her comment before continuing. “The Decider will be my translator, I will pick up the rest easily.”

“Enough, The Decider could stir awake and hear something they shouldn’t. Off with you now.” Pierro waved him away, Scaramouche gritting his teeth before walking slowly up the stairs with your added weight.

“Balladeer.” Columbina called out sweetly from the bottom of the stairs. She didn’t wait for the puppet to acknowledge her so she could reply. “You’ll come to regret this, I swear to you, this won’t be the last of our bickering.”

“Hmph! ‘Bickering’, you say? I look forward to the challenge.” He cackled before disappearing at the top of the stairs.

This chapter really came full circle lol

Don't mind the fact that this View is 4 days over the newly proposed schedule. I'm getting used to it though!

I finally got to implement two rivalries, so exciting!!! I'm sorry if some people don't like the parallel situation I made with Sandrone and Scaramouche, I just see them as very similar to each other! Both see each other as what they want to be, and any conversation always ends in jealousy.

...Does anyone actually read these?

✨Elusive✨ Taglist!:

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[moonbeamastrology]

General Messages

Hey all, This pick a card is just for some general messages that you need to hear at this time. As always take what resonates, don’t try to fit or force it. If a message doesn’t resonate it could be future energy you’re moving into, all of my readings are timeless. So, take a few deep breaths and focus on the question and let your intuition guide you to the pile that is meant for you.

Pile 1: Hummingbird Moth

I see you being really really focused on your finances or a specific project that you’ve been working on for awhile (it could be a self improvement project as well, you’ve been incredibly diligent and shrewd). This project will give you incredibly long lasting and sustainable wealth/stability (legacy type stuff tbh). You’re also looking reallllyyy good right now btw. I feel like at this time you may not be seeing the fruits of your labor yet but trust that you will (waiting to see a return on an investment, you’ll get it just wait a little bit longer). There’s this feeling of the universe blessing you in really surprising ways, you’re not even aware of. Or if you’ve seen some rewards starting to trickle in then it’s definitely not all that this situation can give you. Whatever it is you’re working on, keep at it baby. I see you doing really well emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Really tapping into raw feminine power to really transform your life (no matter how you identify, this is not your mothers’ femininity, ok?). Your ability to receive, healing, sexuality, passion, emotional stability, and intuitive/psychic gifts and skills are being highlighted right now. If you’re into witchy stuff, focus on incorporating fire into spells or rituals to cleanse, purify, or destroy, use earth to ground and stabilize, water to heal and connect. You are a force to be reckoned with right now. Sexy, confident, compassionate, grounded, and secure. You’re bringing fire and water into a really beautiful dance within you right now (it looks so fucking cool this is awesome). Keep this in mind for the next bit. There’s just a little something that is holding you back right now. It could be different for all of you but it feels like some sort of belief or perspective either about the world or about yourself. The energy is really supportive for you to find out what the blockage is and heal/change it. I’m really feeling like it’s something small though, just a little dust (or something swept under the rug). Right now would be a really good time to learn more on different eastern philosophies. Those are all the messages I have for you my love, your energy is truly stunning rn, keep up the good work :) love u <3.

Tarot: Queen of Wands, Queen of Cups, The Hanged Man, 6 of pentacles, 9 of pentacles, 7 of pentacles, 10 of pentacles, 7 of cups

Moonlight Oracle: Kali, Guan Yin, Last quarter moon (release)

Pile 2: Caterpillar

First I want to tell you that you are on the right path. There was a recent conflict you experienced that you are now moving away from. It upset your peace and your focus, left you feeling dejected and alone. Your decision to keep moving forward no matter the pace is really admirable and is bringing in a lot of healing. The Chariot card in the before tarot lowkey gives the vibe of that spongebob “aight imma head out” meme, it feels like you emotionally detached from the situation and just decided to pursue better (kudos). You call back your power by doing this. It could be a new opportunity you’re focusing on or something that you put on the backburner because of this conflict but now that it’s resolved you are choosing to pick it back up. Proud of you, whatever it is it holds a lot of promise for future abundance. At this point the reading felt really really straightforward (I got the feeling that maybe I was missing something), maybe you’re double checking everything (dotting your i's, crossing your t’s, making a list, checking it twice, etc, etc). I asked about what this new opportunity was and received the moon card with the ace of pentacles as the second card from the back (bottom of the deck was 2 of pents) so it’s a vibe of spirit being really hush about it but just saying “trust me, it’s good”. The two of pentacles' characters also really looks like he’s doing a cute little “idk” shrug, it all felt very playful and cute from Spirit tbh. There’s an energy of “slow and steady wins the race” so be proud of yourself for even the smallest of accomplishments right now. If they feel big to you, then they are big. No matter what. Right now what’s important is to take sustainable and consistent action “put one foot in front of the other” (from the Santa Claus is coming to town claymation movie). If you’ve been feeling a really heavy energy, spend some time outside! I know that it might be cold right now where you are but just five minutes everyday and put your hands on the earth and express gratitude for her healing. If going outside is not feasible then open a window and breathe in the fresh air. Either way, do what you can to bring in a little bit of fun and playful energy. Your pile was the only one to get two christmas songs so get into the festive spirit! Watch cute xmas movies, drink hot chocolate, decorate cookies! Focus on eliminating distractions and connecting to your intuition. A little bit of quiet alone time to help refocus and rebalance your energy. Balancing the light and dark/masculine and feminine/work and play. Working with jade right now could be really beneficial as well. Be proud of the growth you have achieved. Focus on what you can do right now and trust that there is a bigger beautiful picture to it all. Those are all the messages I have for you my love!!! I’m so proud of you !!! I love you!!

Tarot: 5 of wands R, knight of pentacles, ace of pentacles, The Chariot, The Magician

Moonlight Oracle: Jade, Pachamama, White Tara

Pile 3: Bumblebee

Hey guys, so I’m getting that you guys are kinda going through it a little bit right now. Feeling alone in a room full of people. You could have just achieved something or experienced a win in some sort of way that was recognized by other people but you’re still feeling empty/lacking/like it’s not enough “Never Enough” by One Direction (but not really in a cute way). Like there’s always another problem or burden and you’re feeling burnt out by it. Penny pinching and worry about finances could be causing you to take on more than you can handle “I want some money” (in a Megan Thee Stallion song I think? I heard it in her voice). Some of you could have just received a promotion or a new job because the pay was good/better but now you’re overworked and you still feel broke. More than you bargained for and it wasn’t all it cracked up to be. Let go of your need to control everything. *This part should especially only be taken as confirmation, don’t be reckless* It might be time to quit your job and embark on something new. Creativity and passion are heightened right now. You have really good ideas right now, if a specific idea feels expansive, hopeful, and abundant then work on grounding that idea down into the physical. You’re scared because unfortunately in the current society you have to have some sort of income but there’s more than one way to bring in revenue. Listen to the spark inside of you that gives you hope for the future, maybe it’s connected to a childhood dream. Pursue that. Follow your passions and what inspires you. Also some of you really just need to take a damn nap. Please <3. I’m seeing an emphasis on inner child healing as well. Remember who you were before all the fucked up shit happened to you. You are the magic, it’s not something to seek outside of yourself. You are capable of achieving your dreams. Be mindful and intentional with the energy you are projecting out into the world. Is it in alignment with who you want to become? If not, that’s ok, just be gentle with yourself and recalibrate. Release your worry and fear. Spend some time with your sisters (bloodline or chosen), do some witchy shit if you’re all into it. Have fun and relax (all things you want you can have). Pay closer attention to the music you are listening to at this time, I was hearing so much more music than either of the two groups. High vibrational music or music to manifest (Moonlight Scorpio, Maijah, FR33SOL, Tyla Jane, Toni Jones) or music to really boost your confidence (Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B came through specifically regarding money). So! That’s all I have for you group 3, my lil worker bees. I love you and I’m sending you support and healing during this time. Believe in yourself how I believe in you. I love you <3.

Tarot: six of wands, five of pentacles, page of wands, ten of wands, four of pentacles

Moonlight Oracle: Manifestation, You are, Sacred sisterhood

[paper-mario-wiki]

Could you elaborate on how rhythm can greatly feminize a voice? I’d never thought of that and I’m very curious :o

hmm. im showing my ass here just a little bit with how i choose to phrase this, but this isn't really based on any "method" and all the "research" ive done into it is very cursory and for my own situational needs, so bear with me for a second:

you ever heard of "Gay Voice"?

it's an internationally recognized phenomenon-- crossing language barriers even-- that pinpoint a speech pattern, or cadence, which is most commonly associated with gay men.

the basics of the "gay voice" are 1) an increase in your spoken pitch variation (meaning you have a greater range in how high AND low your voice goes), 2) holding vowel sounds longer, and 3) a speech effect relating to the "S" sound, which people often lump into the "gay lisp" category of speech.

now, this may seem like an insane place to start, given the history of what the "gay voice" means in society, but like. that doesn't matter. the reason it's a "gay voice" is because it sounds effeminate. now, to be clear, "gay voice" does not mean "speaking like a woman"-- the research shows that the connection is slightly more complicated than just "gay men sound like women", but the aim of this exercise is to approach femininity from a familiar MtF perspective when you really don't know where to start otherwise.

as is almost always the case in the persecution of the Male Homosexual under a patriarchal social ruleset, their perceived flaws aren't based in how far from masculinity they stray, but instead how closely to femininity they approach. so too is the case with the trans woman: the inherent "shame" is your rejection of masculinity, and your embrasure of femininity. ergo, starting from a "gay" speaking standpoint is already in the direction of femininity.

if you're interested in how im becoming reacquainted with my own voice and would like to do the same, start there, if you can, and pay attention to what you do with your voice unconsciously. yes, im really asking you to sit in your room and do the Gay Voice to yourself.

how high up are you going? how low? are you speaking faster? maybe with more of a staccato in your enunciation? maybe you're speaking more softly, or more sharply. maybe there's a lilt that you don't usually put on that feels good. maybe you're flexing your tongue in ways you're not used to, hitting new sounds on familiar syllables. or maybe your lips are a little tighter, or looser than usual, projecting the voice outward differently.

pay attention to these things. become conscious of what you're doing with your mouth to make the noise called "speaking". pay attention to the words you choose, and the path your sentences follow. become aware of these things, and compare them against the kinds of people you hope to sound like.

you can also try different cartoonishly effeminate voices, like the sultry "Jessica Rabbit" seductress tone. try that on for size too. how does it feel to waltz around words? do you feel like speaking slightly slower helps you maintain a greater control over the delivery? or perhaps you feel it makes you sound too stilted? maybe you're also putting some vocal fry into it, how does that feel?

this, to me, is one of the most helpful places i've found to start on this particular issue. i apologize if some of this sounds silly, or even misguided, but doing this has been a very practical and affirming exercise for me. i hope you found it useful in some way too.

[teddypines]

The pretty things in life

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Summary: Y/N needing comfort after a long day and Logan being a carrying husband. Making sure his wife got all the love she deserves after a tough day.

Lost of fluff and use of multiple nicknames (Bub, kitty, Kitten).

Husband!Logan x Wife!Reader. Reader is a snow leopard mutant/hybrid in this, other feline creatures are possible too.

Note: happy New year everyone!! (This was totally not posted on accident). The little poem at the end is from the book 'Pillow Thoughts' by Courtney Peppernell. Words: 2097

Pictures and art from Pinterest, credits to the artist. I just put it together.

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Today wasn’t the greatest day, everything just seemed to go wrong. The children were louder than other days, the noise being a bit too much for Y/N’s sensitive ears, but she was going to finish her lessons. Already looking forward to cuddles in the nest with Logan after dinner. Needing her hubby for comfort, wanting to be wrapped in his arms and sent. But that sadly had to wait for a bit, only two more lessons to give and then she would be done.

“Next slice, please, Kurt.” Y/N said before Kurt tapped the laptop for the next slide of the presentation. “And here we see a painting of heterochromia. See how the artist put detail into every little coloured dot on the eyes.” Y/N explained as she looked at Kurt, giving him a little sign to put on the next slide. Until one of the teen’s put up their hand. “But miss what does this have to do with art?” 

“Good question, Alice, we are going to try and paint something as close to it's real life counterpart. Get it to look as realistic as you can, put in details that someone might not see at first. You can try to use different perspectives, see it in a different light and color. Just put on canvas what you see as best as you can.” Y/N explained as she showed the children a piece of art she did showing the beauty of something small yet so bright in color because of the lighting, in this case Beast's blue fur. “And if this doesn’t work for you, then do something else, be creative but keep the overall details in mind, it doesn’t even have to be big. Just paint or draw what you see.” 

With this the children went to work on their art as Y/N left the classroom to get a cup of tea and a few moments alone. Of course giving a few students the job to keep the others in check. Not wanting to come back to a destroyed classroom. 

Standing in the kitchen as the kettle boiled, thinking about how she could make it to the end of the day without feeling too overwhelmed. Unconsciously rubbing the ears on top of her head. Her tail moved around nervously in a way to try and calm herself down. She was so deep in though she didn’t even notice Logan slipping his arms around her waist. 

“What ya thinking about, bub?” He asked, making Y/N jump out of her thoughts. “Just what I have to do to survive the rest of the day.” She answered while leaning back against Logan, her tail going around Logan's leg to ground herself against him. “Awh, is my kitty a little overwhelmed and overstimulated?” Logan asked with a small smirk on his face. Which made Y/N grumble a bit in answer, knowing the tone in her husband's voice all too well. She reached up to grab her teacup from the cupboard.

“How about I join you for your lessons, that’s your last lesson of the day, right?” Logan suggested after kissing Y/N’s shoulder. Wanting her to know he was there for her, even in her overstimulated situation.“No, have one more after this one, but you don’t have to join me, you have your own classes.” She answered. Putting her tea bag into her cup, putting in the boiled water right after. “I finished for the day.” 

“Really? Owh, yeah, it’s wednesday.” Y/N realised as Logan took her mug, starting to lead Y/N back to her class, his hand on her lower back, just above her tail. Just a little bit of comfort he could offer her. “Come on love, after classes have ended I'll cuddle with you.” Logan promised with a smile on his face. “In the nest?” Y/N asked, giving Logan big kitten eyes. “Yes, in the nest, bub.”

<---------------------------------------------------->

Logan stayed by Y/N’s side as she helped the children with their art and taught the next class. He didn’t say a single word, he just looked grumpy with his arms folded over his chest and his feet on the desk. Some of the children did see a small glimpse of a smile on Logan’s face when Y/N looked back at him while she explained something about inspiration and making art about the things and/or people you love. Logan’s gaze made a few of the children giggle, and some of the girls just wished someone would look at them like how Logan looks at Y/N. He just really loves his wife and it showed.

If Logan could make art like his wife, he would make art about her, show her how he sees her every day, how beautiful she really is. Bring out her best features, her glowing eyes, her hair and those fluffy ears. That idiot tail that always found a place around his leg or her legs and the thighs he loved to nap on when he allowed himself. Sadly no one would ever see the way Logan sees Y/N since he sucks at art and photography doesn’t do her justice.

<----------------------------------------------------->

After classes had finally ended for the day and the kids had left the classroom, Y/N sat down in Logan’s lap and let out a sigh. “Good job, bub, you’re done for the day.” Logan whispered into Y/N’s ear as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Gently holding onto her as she lay her head on his shoulder. “Yeah… Now I want to go to the nest and cuddle, I really need cuddles right now.” Y/N responded as she buried her nose into Logan’s shirt, his scent calming her down a little. “And I could really use some dinner and a good drink, right about now.” She added. “Then let’s get you some dinner first, get you in the shower after and then we can cuddle in the nest.” Logan answered, taking charge. He knew exactly what Y/N needed when she was tired, so he was going to take care of her.

Logan wrapped Y/N’s arms around his neck and her legs around his waist before standing up from the desk chair. Holding her close to him, as he carried her. “What do you want for dinner?” He asked after getting out of the classroom and into the hallway. “Pasta, the good one.” Y/N answered. Logan grumbled a bit as Y/N answered, he knew which pasta she wanted. The only problem with this was that he didn’t make the pasta the way Storm made it. So he only had one choice, hope that Storm was making dinner tonight and that it was the pasta Y/N wanted and that she wouldn't get overwhelmed even more if it wasn’t the pasta she wanted. Y/N wouldn’t but Logan just wanted his wife to have the pasta she wanted.

As Logan carried Y/N to the kitchen, some of the children ran past the two. Also going to the kitchen for dinner. Bickering with each other about what they thought they were going to get for dinner. 

When Logan walked into the kitchen with Y/N he saw that it was Jean and Scott by the stove. Logan groaned a little when he found out it wasn’t Storm who made dinner. “What are you two making?” Y/N asked Jean as she looked over Logan’s shoulder, not really minding that it wasn’t Storm making dinner. "Lasagne." Scott answered, putting more sauce in the dish. Logan sighed in relief, lasagne was pasta too, that was good.

“Yeah, and we have garlic bread on the side and some salad if you want to be healthy.” Jean continued Scott's answer. “It will be ready in about forty minutes.” She added, already have read Y/N's thoughts about how long it was going to take until it was done. Y/N groaned but accepted It would take a little more time. “Logan? Can we shower now instead of after dinner? We have the time.” Y/N asked Logan, actually liking that they had time to shower now instead of after dinner. Logan nodded his head and took Y/N to their room after telling Jean and Scott they would be back for dinner.

Some of the children in the kitchen grumbled that they had to wait almost an hour before they could have dinner, not liking that dinner was later than usual. Not really caring that some of the adults had a mission or other adult tasks to do which made them start on dinner a little later. 

<----------------------------------------------->

Once in their bathroom Logan sat Y/N on the counter next to the sink. “Need me to shower with you, love?” Logan asked between gentle kisses on Y/N”s head. “Yes, I would like that, please.” She answered to which Logan nodded. “Alright, let me get some fresh towels and then I'll help you undress.” Logan said as he whipped underneath Y/N’s eye, brushing away some sleep. He stepped away from her and started to grab enough towels. Y/N on the other hand wasn’t really patient and got off the counter, already undressing herself and putting her clothes in the laundry. She made her way to the shower and turned it on, waiting for the water to become the right temperature. 

“Hey, I was going to do that for you kitten.” Logan laughed once he saw his wife already undressed and underneath the warm water of the shower. He placed the towels on the heater next to the shower before undressing himself. “Just wanted to be in the shower already.” Y/N explained as she appreciated the way Logan was undressing. Logan rolled his eyes playfully. “Such an inpatient and naughty kitten.” 

Y/N gave Logan a tired smile as he got into the shower with her. Placing her right hand onto his chest. holding back the desire to just press her face into his pec’s. Logan placed his own hand over Y/N’s, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. He looked down at Y/N, seeing just how tired she really was right now and how much the shower was helping her relax. Not a single word needed to be said between them. They just showered in the comfort of each other, Logan helping Y/N was her hair, ears and tail before she helped him wash his. After doing the whole shower routine Logan just held onto Y/N for a few minutes, just letting her know he was here for her, letting her lean on him. Telling her he loved her and other sweet nothings.

Getting out of the shower was difficult, but it happened because tummies started to rumble. Logan helped Y/N dry off and got her into some comfy clothes, his shirt and her favorite comfy pants. He dried her hair and fur, brushing it after. He got some comfy clothes for himself before looking at his watch. “Dinner will be ready soon, bub.” He announced. “Okiedokie.” Y/N answered as she reached out for Logan’s arm. Holding onto him as he led the way back to the kitchen. Logan was secretly liking how clingy Y/N was right now, she usually is when tired, but now she was just a little extra clingy and he loved it.   

<------------------------------------------->

Dinner was nice, a bit loud because of the inpatient and hungry kids, but the lasagna was amazing so that fixed everything for Y/N. They stayed a little longer at the dinner table for ice cream and talked about everything and nothing. Well it was mostly Logan and Y/N listening to the other, but they didn’t mind, it was nice to listen every once in a while. After dinner Logan carried Y/N back to their room. Gently laying her down on their nest, laying down next to her after she was settled. Logan made sure Y/N was tucked against him, holding a plushie he gave her for their first anniversary. Warm covers and blankets over the two of them before he kissed her head. “Sweet dreams, Love.” He whispered before watching her fall asleep. She was clearly too tired to stay awake to long for the cuddles she wanted.

Logan admired Y/N for a few minutes, looking at her fluffy ears and her cheeks. The way the bedside lamp made her face glow. She really was the prettiest thing he had ever sat his eyes on. “Of all the maps in the world, the only one I will follow is the map to your heart.” Logan whispered against Y/N’s forehead before leaving a kiss. He turned off the lamp and closed his eyes. Happily falling asleep in their nest, letting the comfort and warmth take over.

[samuraionyourmom]

Now that the first chapter of the Stormbringer manga has released, I'd like to take a moment to analyze a previous headcanon with the new context the new manga has given us and perhaps put it into a different perspective than just Dazai being a stinky bastard man.

So, you all know about the headcanon of Dazai sneaking into Chuuya's apartment and using/wasting all of his fancy hair products. You know it, you love it. But let's take a closer look at it, specifically regarding the context this page gives us:

In this panel alone, it becomes very clear to us that Chuuya truly has no sense of self. If you thought Dazai's shipping container was bad, this ain't exactly any better. This isn't a home. It's barely a living space. It's a place of residence at best. It has a bed, a small desk, and a vault with a shower and rows and rows of pristine black suits. There's absolutely nothing in this place that would tell you that a 16 year-old boy lives here.

Because Chuuya has no idea what a 16 year-old boy does. He doesn't know who he's supposed to be or what he's supposed to like or how to decorate his space with his own personality. Because he doesn't know what that personality is.

This is the overarching theme of Stormbringer in which Chuuya is trying to figure out who he exactly is, whether that's a human or a clone or whatever. If you haven't read it already, I highly recommend it if you like Chuuya even a little bit, especially now that the manga is releasing.

Now, back to the headcanon. Say Chuuya does have some fancy hair products in that little vault shower of his. I mean, it is perfectly reasonable to assume he would be expected to look presentable while he manages the jewel trading business, the part of the Port Mafia he had been put in charge of. He wouldn't want to embarrass the Port Mafia, after all. I wouldn't put it past him to have such products in his possession because he feels he's expected to look good for the sake of the mafia's reputation.

But that's the thing. It's all about expectations. Chuuya, as a person, doesn't really care about his appearance because he hasn't had a chance to be himself yet. He was found by the Sheep at around 8 years old when he didn't even know what bread was. Ever since then, he was expected to be their leader and guard dog. But when he joined the Port Mafia, he had a new set of expectations, ones he's still adjusting to.

Chuuya, up to this point, hasn't a chance to be himself. He doesn't know what kind of fashion he likes or how he likes to style his hair. People keep pushing their expectations onto him, and he feels like the only option he has is to try his best to comply with them in order to not be alone. Check out his character song, "Darkness My Sorrow," for this reason.

So, Chuuya may have some fancy hair products that he keeps not because he personally enjoys hair care, but in an attempt to try to meet the expectations set up for him by being in the Port Mafia.

And then Dazai sneaks into this sad excuse of a living situation (not that he can talk) and wastes them. And Chuuya is pissed. He assumes that it's just Dazai trying to set him up for failure or trying to get him to embarrass himself in some way.

But here's the thing. The hair products' existence in his space is solely because of the expectations put upon him. They're not a part of Chuuya as a person. But his anger towards Dazai is. The emotions Chuuya feels are something that is a part of him innately. Something he can look towards as evidence of his personhood, as silly as it is.

This infuriating little habit that Dazai has is a way to prove Chuuya's humanity. To show that he doesn't need to be so concerned with the expectations of others and that he can focus on himself, whoever that may be. He can focus on being the Chuuya that Dazai hates so much instead of yielding to the will of others.

This is similar to the way Dazai manipulates the situation to get the Sheep turn on Chuuya. It's his way of showing that these people never considered Chuuya their family, and they eventually would have turned on him if push came to shove. It's weird and manipulative and convoluted, but that's Dazai for you. He is incapable of showing care in a normal way, apparently.

So, I view this headcanon in a new light. Dazai is always certain of Chuuya's humanity and personhood, even when Chuuya himself is not. He shows that in incredibly frustrating and confusing ways, like stealing and wasting the soap that is a representation of the expectations that are crushing Chuuya and his sense of self under its weight. Chuuya's anger, his threats of violence against Dazai for his petty heist, those are all Chuuya. They are his own thoughts and feelings, and no one can take that from him.

In conclusion, Chuuya needs to learn that he can be who he wants and be given the time to figure out who he is, and Dazai needs to learn how to flirt like a normal person instead of doing... whatever he's attempting to do right now.

[pinksobg]

what did you manifest 6 months ago? 🕯️🌷

pile 1 - pile 2 - pile 3

for reflection <3 intuitive reading. missed reading! :) I hope this finds you all in good health 🙏❤️🌷

pile 1 - pile one, I'm seeing you manifesting being kind and warm. maybe you were presented to various situations, most of them conflicting ones, but one thing was present: you were able to maintain kind and even help people out. you could have manifest being able to help people, teach lessons and inspire more in this season of life.

that's a bit specific, but you could also have manifest being someone's inspiration, maybe even someone's muse, someone to look up to. older sister/brother/kid and only child vibes, haha. I won't be impressed if you like old money aesthetics or listen to indie artists. I'm getting Lana del Rey too.

if you are into academics/education, I feel you manifested on that too, especially in focus/manners or time management. still, it feels like it's still a work in progress. not the kinda "not good enough" you know? but your potential is about to expand considerably more.

🤍🌷💐🕯️❤️

__________________________

pile 2 - you definitely seem to have manifest goals. opportunities. consistency. even community too! much information haha. it seems the season your younger self would be much excited for. I think that's the best way to describe it. maybe you were able to work on things in a different way, light or perspective and it was a game changer. maybe you changed your methods and even environments. even changed some relationships (friendships/romantic ones, etc). and some of you could have moved departments or paths. and trust me, that was good. you manifested clarity to work on yourself so it could have ended in a deep cleaning. this cleaning could be in your habits or mindsets. but I still feel major physical shifts. you know this one thing in palm reading, and there is one line that is divided in two ways? it's kinda it. you started fresh, pile 2. that seems nice! you made a lot of progress the last 6 months.

also, a bit specific, but you could have manifest to be more creative. or being able to show it more to the world. you could have invested more in a hobby involving creativity and that was really nice for your mental health. if you work on the creative side, you could have been feeling more confident on this period of your life.

🤍🌷💐🕯️❤️

__________________________

pile 3 - hello, pile 3! here, we mostly see healing and acceptance. you were working on you and your journey. you manifest more peace for yourself. you wanted a breath of fresh air after a tough period of blurry view. now, I sense that you are able to let things out - feelings, situations. and you manifest to move forward. I'm very proud. also, maybe you secretly manifest protection for this period, it was a must, specially from 'evil eye' if you believe in evil eye, of course. it was a period of needed cleansing. you are now more able to move on and to be brave. your manifestations were big deal. I'm really getting this proud feeling. maybe I should try to channel a message for this pile. I'm getting "my little dove" it seems really sweet. "my little dove, no need to cry anymore, these tears of yours - let me put it in the past. take my hands, write it out, bake a cake, call it out, shout it out. you know, I love the way you are doing things now, I love the way you are. you are handling things perfectly. keep it up with hope. keep it up with Faith. you are on the right path." "trust me, chill". wow... I don't know if the "trust me, chill" was for me or for you though haha. thank you. thank you for letting me read for you!

🤍🌷💐🕯️❤️

[lunahearts]

Okay I'm doing it. I'm chapter 96 posting.

This is not meant to be a big analysis post this is mostly just me sharing all the little moments that Marcille & Laios show their care for each other because they are SO beloved to me. Join me on the journey if you wish.

(but also the above statement may be a lie. I do have a point here, it turns out, and the point gets at some of my Big Feelings of what Dungeon Meshi has to say about the nature of friendship & living in the world)

So, first of all, the conversation about Laios being king at the start of the chapter. Just in general Laios insisting on presenting himself in his own way here is so good. Character development!!

Before the events of the story he hadn't shared his inner world with anyone but Falin. Now he's like Actually I'm gonna dress up in the discarded remains of my monstersona and that's just how it is.

And even though there are a LOT of parts of the story and bits of character growth that go into this, I think it specifically highlights some interactions from a few chapters ago.

After all, his initial reaction to having been in that monster form & coming out of it was trying to hide from everyone.

And I think everyone helping him put things in perspective here contributes to how he is able to present himself as king. They assure him that he is accepted, despite having just been seen by EVERYONE at his Peak "Weird Monster Guy" mode.

Highlighting what Marcille says here especially:

Going out to "face them with a smile" is EXACTLY what he does. Not right away. He's still pretty stressed in the following scene in this chapter. But he is able to face the crowds with a smile, eventually...

As king. Dressed in the memory of his most vulnerable moments, the most honest expression of his desire.

BUT I'M GETTING A LITTLE AHEAD OF MYSELF. Before the King Laios speech, there's a little moment with Marcille I want to highlight, because...

Did y'all know that by the end of the manga, Marcille isn't like... grossed out by eating monsters any more? Or at least, she's definitely changed her reaction to it. It's Namari who makes the "yeah it smells good despite what it is" comment, not Marcille.

We even get shots later of Tansu, Shuro, and Kabru being kinda grossed out by - but still going ahead and eating - the different Falin foods. Chilchuck also throws out a line about it being surprised that it's good.

But there's no disparaging comment from Marcille, despite the Everything of the situation. I just think that's also a nice little detail. She may not be as far in the monster eating game as Laios, but she's more willing to roll with the weirdness.

So after this little moment, this is when Laios comes out in his new regal outfit. And first of all...

This is such a good contrast to the moment when the group goes to save Marcille in chapter 84. The monsters had stopped attacking, and everyone's reactions to Laios and the others framed him as unsettling. Creepy. Maybe even traitors.

They even use some of the same labels (lord of the monsters/lord of the dungeon, dark lord/demon king)., but the context is that they are disgusted. The parallels in this manga....

Have a tendency to destroy me. What a difference in reception.

Anyway, after this moment, Laios stops to talk to the group... and I'd like to point out again: MARCILLE ISN'T FLIPPANT HERE EITHER!!

Chilchuck is still Chilchuck, of course, and I want to be clear I love that, too. Chilchuck is who he is to his core. His little jabs are very affectionate in this chapter.

But Marcille... Marcille only points to the Winged Lion symbol as being weird, not the monster bits. And like, considering what she's just been through with the lion, being skeptical of that part is... fair.

(don't get me wrong, her "that's fine and all" isn't exactly excitement. BUT the point I'm trying to make is less about her completely changing her feelings & preferences. It's more about how she expresses them, and how she treats Laios and HIS feelings & preferences)

And she continues to be so encouraging!! Wah!! Like, despite, all four of these people definitely caring about Laios, it's Marcille specifically who tells him to relax and just be honest. And you know what? I think that's what Falin would have said, too.

Please also note how cute everyone's little faces are in the crowd:

(see, Chilchuck loves him too!! Look at that fond face, and the cheer. and Senshi! and Namari! They really are such a family)

Laios' short speech actually has a little bit I'd like to highlight as well, since I think it is a nice little reflection of his choice to keep the lion insignia on his new outfit:

"Eat to your heart's content," he says. Not just "enjoy," or "let's eat."

Dunmeshi does such a wonderful job of framing so much about the Winged Lion with nuance, and this is a good example of that. Desire is not bad! Craving and consuming is beautiful. As Laios says when explaining the lion insignia...

It's not just something to get rid of.

So then... on to the feast!

And not only does Marcille not express any grossed out feelings, as I mentioned before... she even helps to gross out Chilchuck!!

Her weird girl powers are only just in their infancy. She will only grow more powerful in time...

As the feast goes on of course we get the group's realization about her hair, and I'd like to point out:

I really feel like they have such similar reactions to finding out about how the other has been affected by the Winged Lion

Just... the quiet concern. Not making a huge fuss, but... worried. Understanding. A little heartbroken for each other.

SPEAKING OF HEARTBROKEN REACTIONS THOUGH. WHAT COMES NEXT REALLY GETS ME.

After Chilchuck braids Marcille's hair for her, the topic of her needing to leave everyone comes up and...

God, these expressions. Every Time I see these panels I think about about what Laios saw in her nightmare. Her fears. The weight of inevitable loneliness, and the way it has marked her. As much as Marcille tries to keep things light when talking about it, he knows what this means to her. And it HURTS.

So he doesn't accept it. But do you notice how he frames this. Do you see. Not "do you want me to fix this." Not "hey I have an idea."

"Would you be willing to stay."

He doesn't know whether she will accept. Whether she will hate the idea, actually, of staying here with him. He's putting himself out there fully prepared for rejection & dismissal, as he has faced many times before.

But his pitch, his proposal to her, it's not JUST an excuse to ask her to stay, either. He's put thought into this. Into what Marcille could mean and do here. Not just to and for him, but for the people of this area. The place he has taken responsibility for.

He's also thinking about Falin. And about all the other little girls, the people of all sorts, just like her. He's thinking about the people who have been killed (burned at the stake???), hurt, shunned. About the people who have been abandoned. The people who are still alone.

He's not just offering Marcille an out from her isolation, he's offering her a new purpose. A new way to continue her work, to do the things she cares about. He SEES her! he understands her.

BUT ALSO HE'S SO NERVOUS OUGH. FIDDLING WITH THE PLATE. UNSURE IF SHE WILL CARE. UNSURE IF HE HAS IT RIGHT.

HE'S NOT GOOD WITH PEOPLE HE'S NOT GOOD AT THIS.

BUT THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER. AND SHE WANTS THIS LIFE HE'S OFFERING HER.

Still... it's not that simple for her, even if for a moment she is swept up in how much she wants this.

Again here, Marcille is working so hard to be chill about the whole 'going west with the elves' thing. She looks absolutely devastated in the first panel, but puts on a smile in the second.

Maybe she doesn't want to bring down the mood. Maybe she doesn't want to burden everyone with what seems like the only option she has. Maybe she had already accepted the cost that might come with bringing Falin back. Maybe after everything with the Winged Lion, she doesn't want to risk letting herself fight for her desires too hard.

But hey. Desires aren't always bad. They aren't something to just get rid of.

A small bit of visual storytelling here... I love that Marcille is confined by the panel, but Laios is stepping outside of it. He's literally pulling her outside of the box she feels trapped in.

Also, I love that his first acts as king are:

1) welcome everyone to a big feast

2) stand by his friend and help her find happiness

It's great stuff and it's so Laios.

In addition to that, I love how this whole act actually plays out. I love that, while getting the elves to let Marcille go, he gets to be extremely cool and protective...

but also like. Not THAT cool and protective.

No really, I mean it! I think it's important! It's important that cool 'suave king guy Laios' is a front he puts up when he needs to deal with these strangers, and one that he completely drops once it's just him and Marcille.

He's not trying to impress her, or convince her he's cool and suave. Why would he? He trusts that she's okay with the messy, often unimpressive, sometimes kinda gross reality of who he is.

And isn't that what Dungeon Meshi is all about? Messy, unimpressive, gross reality. And how beautiful, how wonderful, how very precious it is

Especially when you get to share it with your friends.