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I'm pretty sure my entire life's problems can be chalked up to never getting enough sleep and having a negative attitude. Of course getting my ADHD treated helped immensely but that doesn't solve everything.
One day I was so tired, and I struggle to sleep normally; I literally left a conversation and said I'm going to sleep at like 9pm. Please note that I usually would never consider sleeping earlier than even 1 am before.
Anyhow, the next day omg I woke up at 6:30 am because I didn't want to oversleep and I was so rested I made delicious food and watched anime first thing in the morning, specifically a very positive anime, I think it might have been my next life as a villainous. I actually for the first time in a long time, worked out. Well, not working out per say, because I still have to trick my brain, no I played sports with my sibling, turned on good ol' Wii sports and played some DDR. After that I started sleeping and waking up at a decent time every day, and I actually felt fine even if I messed up a day here and there.
Only recently did I mess up my sleep for a few consecutive days, in which I felt sluggish and tired like I always have before. Recently I was discussing how much sleep a human requires, I assumed it was 5 hours for most people, and found out that it is actually 7-9 hours for adults, and even more time for younger people. Of course some people can get less but that's not true for most. Here I thought I was the insane one for struggling to wake up with less than 7 hours now, and when I was a teenager, good luck getting 5!
The point of this is just that I was so defeatist, I will never sleep normal, never wake up at a good time, never feel rested, but I did! I actually did! So now I'm going to ensure I get enough sleep tonight, I'm not sacrificing my sleep for anything. I even managed to stay pretty well on track during school, and these assignments are never ending.
I had a friend who did everything in highschool; I admired her so much, she worked out, cooked all her food, woke up early, studied, was literally the valedictorian, and still had time to hang out and play video games.
The most impressive part to me was that she managed all that while keeping a good sleep routine, eating healthy, and exercising.
She's half the inspiration for why I still keep up with this new schedule now, because, I know she did it, and I know it wasn't always easy for her, and really we all can do this, if anything this part should be the easy part.
Anyways this is partly to remind myself to get adequate sleep and work out today after I finally clean my room and work on my assignment. The other part is to remind everyone that taking care of yourself is always the base priority, everything that is so hard, like managing time, or work, or whatever, is secondary and usually gets easier the more you take care of yourself.
I mean just a year ago or so I thought I was gonna die on the couch barley able to move, and now I'm doing what I thought was literally impossible; taking care of myself, doing school work, AND actually having time to work on side projects!
I probably missed a lot of what I wanted to say, and while I would usually scold myself for writing this instead of working on my assignments, this took only a few minutes, contrary to the hour or two I use to feel was being wasted away.
Remember if something is hard to do, just make it fun. I don't like cooking, but I do like eating fancy looking food while watching anime. I don't like exercising, but I do like playing video games like Wii sports or actual sports. I don't like sleeping, but I do like lying down in a warm blanket with a favourite movie playing as I close my eyes for just a moment.
#just a little ramble#personal#healthy life changes#adhd#this probably needs editing#this did wonders for my anxiety#except for at the scary eye doctor#sorry I don't view having my corona potentially scratched as a unreasonable fear#it isnt a phobia it is a normal human reaction#now im ranting in the tags#oops#just still butter about it lmao#mental health#life goals#unintelligible goblin noises
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Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)
I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c
Part Two:
Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D
Aaaand Part Three:
'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...
Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl yellow cat#this is my headcanon and i'm sticking to it#the lamb is a goofy stabby-babby goober and narinder is just a grumpy asshole who constantly velcroes onto them for hella snuggles#look - if you've been trapped in the afterlife void for over a thousand years - you are GONNA want a fuckton of snuggles#that's just science#the scribble comic i did with narinder and the yellow cat can technically work as part four i guess#only instead of the lamb Going Gremlin at the attempt to steal their other followers' devotion#they just comin' at him for Rad Cuddles OuO#someday i will draw these two with the proper height difference i imagine them having#today is not that day#today is also not the day i pin down exactly how long i want narinder's tail to be#(but i want it to be Very Long - just because)#there are inconsistencies here and there and probably some mistakes but i have been working on these for a week and i am So Tired guys#EDIT: haha yeah i forgot to color in narinder's fukken ears again#fuk :)#EDIT 2: i fixed it but it's probably too late at this point lmao#EDIT 3: THE LAMB'S FUKKEN HORNS JFC#i am not editing this thing anymore cuz i need sleep and the mistakes are already out there *dies of artist mortification*
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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Some Fords! (and Martin K Blackwood is also there)
#Some Ford wips I'm working on! I'll probably post these all seperately later. I dunno yet. just wanted them out of brain jail#The TMA crossover drawings are inspired by a fic which I cannot find the name of right now BECAUSE AO3 is DOWN????#anyway I got more drawings for it I'll post all together later#also I haven't listened to protocals yet and I need to relisten to the og so I hope I remembered Martin's level of lonely avatarship lmao#Also I just think Ford would be a bit mean to himself. ESPECIALLY his immidiately post Fiddleford leaving self#conflicting thoughts of 'I cant risk changing the timeline' and#'I was a miserable self centered idiot and Im afraid I still am so I need to to put my younger self down to feel better'#Gravity falls#Stanford pines#ford pines#young stanford pines#gf fanart#fanart#fan art#my art#digital art#martin k blackwood#the magnus archives crossover#Edit: the fic was 'earth becomes sky in the most literal fashion'!!
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100% have been perusing your climate change masterpost, and understand you're probably swamped so feel free to delete of course. But if you can find the time, is there any kind of hope to give in fighting climate change now? Can we save ourselves against the oncoming steamroll?
You hang in there too. Thanks for finding the hope among everything else. It feels so bad rn but I have to believe it can change. I hope it can.
Yeah actually I do think there is hope.
Things are going to get rough. Things are going to get worse before they get better, both for the climate and for people living in the US (and for people living in lots and lots of other countries that will be affected by the US election results/the ways the climate will worsen as aa result).
I haven't posted about this yet because I didn't want it to come to this, but now that it has, here's something that people have been quietly saying/research has been showing for months:
-via Reuters, November 6, 2024
Renewables, especially solar, are just too powerful to be stopped. They just too much cheaper and too much better, and that's only going to become more true, not less.
Also, I think (and hope) it's actually inevitable that at some point, we'll get to net negative carbon emissions. I think it's like solar: the technology, cost, and planet all make it feel like an inevitable technological trajectory, the same way solar tech is on an exponential trajectory. (IF WE WORK FOR IT, OBVIOUSLY, but also so, so many people ARE working for it, have dedicated their lives to working for it)
I sure fucking hope that's the case, anyway.
(You can find my masterpost on going net negative on what that actually means here)
It is gonna happen more slowly and shittily than I hoped, but I do think it's going to happen.
And if we can get to net negative emissions in time to save ourselves (which I think we will, the rates of advancement in many of these areas are very impressive), then we'll be able to slowly start to undo and heal lot of the damage.
#chouetteffraie#ask#this is NOT advocating for carbon removal as either a sole strategy or a way to avoid overhauling the way the world works#but like. idk man. think about where technology was in 1924 vs. now#in 1974 vs. now#your smartphone is vastly more powerful than the computers that took us into space#which took up entire massive facilities and still needed to be checked by human calculators#probably#tags edited bc I have been informed that that one law of computing is not a thing#rip#progress still has been exponential though and I stand by what I said
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thinking about scaramouche team dynamics ft scarabedo
#genshin impact#albedo#scaramouche#wanderer#my art#two artificial humans??? interacting??#i need it rn mihoyo pls give me their interaction#one can create things with the power of science and the other was created to be a powerful vessel#i wonder if albedo would be able to create a beating heart...#i think albedo would be curious abt scara since they are kind of similar#scara probably hates the word experiment and research (esp when done to him) though#so that's a learning curve they'd have to get over#EDIT: OMG I FORGOT ALBEDOS NECK MARK#I EVEN WROTE IT IN MY NOTES YSTD............
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the girl from the other side ✨ this series gave me hope a million times but simultaneously shattered my heart into the same amount of pieces </3 (flower symbolism under cut)
sticker sheet for anime north 🍀🥧🖤🤍
SPOILERS AHEAD
forget me not - obvious reference to the Black Children and how they eventually forget who they are as they near the end of their "life cycle".
white clover (in coffin) - white clovers typically symbolize innocence.
4 leaf clover - like I wrote in a previous post on my Witch Hat Atelier seasons piece, the 4 leaf clover symbolizes luck and good fortune. Like Coco, Shiva to her loved ones is a symbol of fortune, though to the Inside Kingdom, a symbol of misfortune.
sunflower - typically symbolize strength and warmth, a fitting flower for Shiva, the light illuminating Teacher's dark past.
nasturtium - another flower symbolizing strength, and has strong ties to the "victory" after battle. apparently soldiers used to don them as a sign of a long battle won. fun fact they are also edible (don't take my post for nutritional advice please) (ill probably write a bit more on this topic when my head is more clear)
#the girl from the other side#totsukuni no shoujo#nagabe#my art#oh how i love dark fairy tales...........#had a lot of fun with the dark gothic/horror aesthetics.. i shrimply want to draw more self indulgent things moving forward#but now my arm needs rest augh#probably no one will buy this but it's ok ill keep all copies for myself!#EDIT: I WONT FORGIVE TUMBLR MOBILE FOR ASSUMING THE TITLE OF THIS POST WAS 'SPOILERS AHEAD' WTF..
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Heroes of Millennium (HoM) AU
Act 1, Omake 1 (Extra): Master of Time - (here)
Act 1, Omake 2 (Extra): Barrier Team. - read here
Act 1: What was left behind. - read here
#hom au#heroes of millennium au#danny fenton#danny phantom#clockwork#dp clockwork#juniper lee#jake long#rex salazar#zak saturday#randy cunningham#kim possible#jenny wakeman#ben tennyson#;D hi! sorry this is not an update anyone expected. but i was sitting on this idea since january lol#couldnt start on it for months. but now that im making some slow progress with Act 2 outline. i decided why not?#when i started to draw hom comic i was like 'nah we dont need long winded cryptic intro with CW i want some action right away!'#and almost right after i finished act1 i was struck by this idea lol. mostly because its fun and i wanted that one last page of all homies#also an opportunity to drop some more lore ? hints. and you can also see i am depicting CW a bit differently to his canon#but also like tbh he probably wont appear in next acts like at all so xD dont take anything seriously here. this is all just in good fun ;)#CW is like that grandpa that urgently calls you to do something for him but then instantly trolls you and kicks you out#small edit: fixed typo and added disclaimer doodle because it felt incomplete without it ;)
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For the frostkettle truthers
#frostkettle#all klkc needed was someone to kiss her booboo n bad thoughts away#and probably meds and lifelong therapy#dimension 20#my art#d20#dimension 20 fanart#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20 fhjy#fhjy spoilers#edits tgis to say i didnt check for scale so just imagine klck standing on a fruit box#also i abbreviated her name wrong earlier rip me#klck#lucy frostblade#kipperlilly copperkettle
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Sometimes I wonder what Jiang Cheng could've become if his parents didn't instill a mix of "crippling fear of failure" and "impossibly high standards" in him. Cuz like, his dad was holding him to the vague standard of being as good as wwx, his mom yelling at him whenever he goofed around like wwx, and then both of them expressed disappointment when he's less successful than wwx. The thing both of them seem to ignore though is that wwx got where he is entirely because he had the freedom to fuck around and find out- he trained tirelessly because he made training fun for himself, he was innovative as a cultivators because he experimented and persisted through failures, and he was able to act in line with the Jiang clan moto because his actions had less political pull than members of the main family. Jiang Cheng on the other hand- if he fucked around he got told to "stop stooping to the level of servants." If his achievements were lesser than wwx's, he got either dismissed by his dad or yelled at by his mom to try harder. And if he picked fights with the Wens, they'd have an excuse to destroy his clan. Like ya- no shit that'd create an adult who's terrified of failure.
The kite game serves as such a good metaphor/embodiment of this set back- with Jiang Cheng never being able to shoot as far as Wei Wuxian because he pulls back and shoots closer the second he misses.
And its sad too because he's shown to be pretty brilliant when he's in "fuck it, we ball" mode. Like, when he's not freezing up, he manages to pull off things like rebuilding his entire clan from the ground up, leading armies and taking back territories from the Wens, and I'm fairly sure he's the only character we see counter the Lan music cultivation techniques (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on that last one. Also feel free to add any of the other cool shit he did that I'm blanking on at the moment, cuz I know I'm forgetting something).
That being said- even with his anxiety, he's still one of the top cultivators. Imagine what a force of nature he'd be if he could sustain "fuck it we ball" mode
#jiang cheng#jiang fengmian critical#madam yu critical#jiang cheng positive#<- there. its tagged properly so you better not @ me antis#mdzs meta#mdzs#long post#jiang cheng would've been too powerful so his parents decided to nerf him#unfortunate i had this thought around the same time as the discourse is happening and I'm probably inviting trouble with this but eh-#maybe I'll get lucky and the antis will leave me alone#I'm being critical of Madam Yu here but this is NOT a Madam Yu hate blog#I will block depending on how far “criticism” of her goes#apparently I need to add in this edit too- THIS IS NOT A WWX BASHING POST. I WILL BE DELETING ANY COMMENTS WITH WWX BASHING IN THEM
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Happy Halloween! 🧼🥩🎃
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mouthwashing#lan wangji#wei wuxian#A mouthwashing crossover was always the plan but I ran out of time for a bigger comic. So a doodle it is!#***I am about to talk about some stuff that is not for the squeamish so please take caution from here on out***:#Okay. I know that people who know what goes down in mouthwashing are seeing this and going 'OP Why?'#BUT HERE ME OUT: Wangxian's canon kink dynamic would not bat an eye at this.#You think Wei 'I love being tied up and at the mercy of my loved one' Wuxian would *pass* on amputee-caregiver abuse roleplay???#No! He's a freak like that! 'Oh nooo I have only residual limbs and no voice to protest. And I need to take my medicine...'#Oh we even have a bonus cannibalism thing going on here. Maybe WWX needs to bring cannibalism into the bedroom. To heal.#They are not sane nor safe but certainly consensual.#Convincing Lan Wangji to get into the Jimmy cosplay is probably the most unrealistic part of this.#We hate Jimmy. That's why he is such an amazing character.#LWJ is his near polar opposite. Man takes responsibility like it's his daily vitamin.#edit: how could I forget. Happy birthday to wei wuxian. Being a freak in peace is the ultimate gift I can give him.
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Finally managed to record a bit of David at curtain call 😍
Brilliant seeing this incredible production once again - and getting to see what's different and what isn't 🥹🥰
(Please don't repost ☺️)
#david tennant#west end macbeth#macbeth#Completely failed to record my own videos at the Donmar#since I couldn't get myself to just hold up a camera in their faces rather than joining in on the clapping#so also didn't record the whole thing this time but at least a bit of it ❤️#and ah the handle is from twitter 🙈#also I really need to learn to make better gifs and/or video edits because the quality definitely looks better on my phone than this 🙈#Edit: Looks like he has tried not to kick as high this week from what I have seen 🥺#I hope that's just random and not because they saw the photos and videos and were like maybe try not to show too much#Because my main reason for uploading this was just that he's absolutely adorable and such a delight to watch 🥹#and it's not like there's actually anything to see besides the shorts and his knees which are on full display throughout anyway#and will probably be on display for the filmed version as well#So hope it's just that either I haven't seen any videos from the same angle or it's just random how he ends up doing it#please keep up with the cute twirl and kick DT ❤️
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Surprised I haven’t seen Peter Turbo in this meme format yet
#since he fucking embodies it (affectionate)#a knight’s words of wisdom#warhammer 40k#warhammer 40000#perturabo#iron warriors#now I need to make a joining the war on autism edit of perturabo#and Dorn and the Lion too probably#can you tell I made this in like 5 minutes#warhammer40k#40k#wh40k#warhammercommunity
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I made a Sebastian Solace mask + tail!
this is mostly a makeshift cosplay and not meant to be 100% on model. I might remake the tail for Halloween.
for the mask, I've used a feline base, for the tail I've used plush fabric and felt fabric - all hand-sewn.
#maskerat crafts#sebastian solace#roblox#pressure roblox#roblox pressure#sebastian pressure#pressure sebastian#cosplay#i will take a picture whilst wearing this attire. but probably later on. I'd need to edit the photo and draw over myself.#sewing#whale tail#pressure fanart#sebastian solace fanart#handmade
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what kind of underwear do you think Erik and Charles wear (i'm not asking this to see them half naked) ((please believe me)) (((PLEASE)))
My Personal Belief is charles is a briefs guy while erik's a trunks guy. trunks/briefs kinda couple because i can
and idk just a lil bonus or somethin. as i do.
#nsft#probably. again A Promotion Would Be In Order From Me Personally but WHATEVER.#cherik#im too tired to tag everything ok this post'll find its people#snap sketches#not too tired for a tag ramble tho eUUGGHHH#i HAVE to post the second bit now or ill be editing it all night and for what. i will live#and my silly ass said i wouldnt draw that reading idea. well guess what im a LIAR who LIES.#i do wanna revisit that proper tho .. at least draw em by the fireplace someday but anyway#i think the funny thing is i had like. plans to draw charles in purple briefs just cause he wore them once and i chortled Unreasonably#so here we are. youll have to forgive me my friend i have a condition called If I Get An Excuse To Draw I Will#it is a very serious condition cause i need to SLEEEEPP truly and honestly locking in later i HAVE to#leaving all of you with this for the next idk twelve hours thats crazy#all i want to do is draw but i feel my eyes . Getting Weird and i have exams so i guess i should be a responsible person and sleep#i actually have a lot i need to catch up on so like. i prob wont be back on until this weekend when im Hopefully more free#'snap didnt you say that last night' I HAVE TO BE SERIOUS THIS TIME i got a lot. so i will see everyone saturday Hopefully#please give me the strength to focus for once thank you#for now good night everyone !!! please enjoy my doodlings from today. yesterday. i must not make any more for now
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god i love being SOOO obnoxious about my ocs everyone should be 50% more obnoxious about their ocs right neow
#starspeak#get obnoxious (oc tag)#ttrpgs#my campaigns#edit: everything after these tags are from the og post— they’re just kinda me ranting but i don’t wanna get rid of them#due to the fact that it adds how fucking funny it is that this post got popular and it was just. me rambeling#anyways.#->#literally guy who gave their character a whole birthday week and is celebrating him that whole week#like girl he’s fake……..just kidding cas is real To Me#this is fully positive there is NO self deprecation here i’m being dead serious#also i’m celebrating all week to hide the fact that this is the busiest week of the year at my work#and i’m already sick so it’s gonna be downhill from here 🥲#casboy’s gotta get me through it ok#not Sick sick i just don’t feel well. at least tmrw is my day off i probably need Rest#oops didn’t mean to rant a bit here but oh well. happy birthday week cas
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