#this post sounds aggressive but you know what i think for this topic it deserves to be

[spagetighost]

guys be more sensitive with the percy situation. like be fucking for real no one cares about wednesday or what they might do with xavier's character right now. our priority should be supporting the victims and making sure there is some sort of justice, not headcanonning new ideas for how they can write him out or what actors he can be replaced with. treat this with more seriousness and compassion because this is not a show. this is real life with real people and real consequences.

[sgiandubh]

Hello how are you? I follow several shippers' blogs and I noticed that every now and then some bloggers publish hateful messages they received. My question is about mental health: how do you deal with it? I understand that your presence here is relatively recent, but have you ever regretted something?

Dear Mental Health Anon,

This is the kind of submissions I welcome with all my heart, because they are benevolent and witty. Forgive me already for what I suspect will be a long answer. It is not the pleasure of hearing me talk that prompts them, but the sincere intention to answer deserving asks as clearly, fully and honestly as I can.

The short answer is : I am fine, Fall is slowly coming and nights are starting to be really chilly. There's some light rain tapping on the roof of my flat and I will spend my week-end wandering around some of my favorite places on Earth. And now, onwards to the consistent and interesting ask of yours...

The worst trolling message I have ever seen in this fandom is the one I am immediately going to post below, because I think it should serve us all as warning and reminder. It was posted on a blog I have been reading from the beginning of my long lurking days on Tumblr: @cb4tb is one of the most balanced and articulate people in this corner of the Internet. I remember being shocked by its cold and very coherent violence. The feat of a casebook sociopath, who thinks her asks in Spanish (I am 200% certain about it) and who has an appalling command of English grammar. Written on Christmas' Eve and on purpose:

Compared to the alarming slander @cb4tb got (whatever for is a mystery, she is non conflictual and posts very witty business insights) on a day that should be completely taboo for every civilized human being (you don't need to believe in God to respect one of Christianity's most important celebrations), whatever hate I could get in here is definitely subpar. Most of it did not make it on my page and went straight to the bin. But it's not always easy: I am as human as you, Anon, and sometimes I feel personally insulted and revolted by the smugness and pettiness of it all. However, I must immediately add their hate never made me give up an inch of my convictions. They are the result of a long interval of watching and pondering, coupled with my own observations I gladly share with like-minded women all around the world. That often hits a nerve or bruises overinflated egos on the Other Side. So be it: I am not here to be meek and obedient, if I never was meek and obedient in real life. I am here to bring clarity and build trust, which incidentally resonates very closely to what I do for a living. That probably rates me as a moderate on the shipper spectrum, in the sense that by complete design I put aside some divisive topics I firmly chose not to discuss. I am not interested to bring attention on me, in here, and the least thing I'd like is to be a vector of discord. So that would also rate me as a peacemaker of sorts - and yes, that sounds perhaps pretentious, but I believe it is needed, especially now.

I only felt a clear intention to threaten me twice, both in DM. The first time it curiously came from one extreme fringe of the shipper community and I brushed it off, because it was an empty, almost ridiculous threat. I politely denied and that was it - two persons blocked me and there were no other consequences to it. The second time, an anti came to confront me on an irrelevant point, with a very aggressive undertone. I blocked and almost forgot about it. If you have it clear enough in your mind that such things cannot be avoided and, at the same time, you know that your own moral compass is not compromised, these details will not affect you. At all. I confidently promise you that. Last but not least: if you are not great with compartmentalizing, don't step in the arena. It can seriously ruffle your self-esteem and it's not worth it.

So this is how I deal with it: I focus on what I have to say (does it bring something new? interesting? positive? thought-provoking?), on the way of saying it (above all, be kind and gracious to every other shipper) and on the right moment to say it (only when I am honestly sure I can do it with no unwanted consequences). But I will stand in solidarity with any shipper (any single one of them) who is humiliated, belittled or disparaged, with not a single shred of fear in the world. And I would also fend for myself if necessary, if I am getting over-the-top slander: all the other yapping, I ignore. Sometimes (often, even) it's more interesting to watch.

And if anything else fails, I go for a long drive and have a coffee at the seaside or simply open a book or listen to some Bach or call Someone. Or take this little big guy out for a lazy walk in the park:

You ask me if I regret anything. Absolutely not. I have received more than I could ever give, in here. I have met spectacular women and men, I have grown very fond of and feel very close to. I have had the immense satisfaction of sharing their secrets, their worries, their plans and this means trust, in my book, for which I will never tire saying how grateful I am. I also strived to respond in kind and I mean to honor this unwritten contract. Last but not least, I have watched this community slowly dusting off months of sadness and perhaps starting to open up again.

And all of this makes me damn proud of who we are, Anon. Thank you for dropping by! You are always welcome on my page.

[system-of-a-feather]

I'm glad you're going hogwild on Bleach rn. It was also a major part of our childhood and development, and I feel like there's still a ton to get out of it, even from an older perspective. (Not trying to sound uppity or anything, I really love Bleach.)

What do you think about the idea of Ichigo as a CDD allegory? I don't think he was written with that in mind, but reading through the manga, there are a lot of scenes that make me go "hmMMMMMM."

(Never watched the anime, lol. Manga-only)

Funny you should ask that question. I have actually already made a very important post on the topic of Ichigo as a CDD allegory. /hj

Honestly though, I think its one of my favorite "not intentionally a CDD but very relatable as someone with a CDD". Like I'd have to get further into TYBW and later cause I know they expand and drop some lore secrets about the dynamic of the part (I was gonna edit that to be more accurate to the world context of Bleach but I felt that term is telling about how I feel about the allegory XD) that make up Ichigo's soul and shit.

I know a lot of what is revealed because as good as I obstained from a lot of spoilers, I actually heard a rumor that Hollow Ichigo isn't seen after the Aizen-Karakura town arc and I was so distraught at that that I let it be something I got spoiled on before it was announced that it would continue. At the time, I thought it upset me cause I thought the hollow stuff was cool, but that reasoning didn't really make sense to me because I was actually like *sad* in a "no thats not fair or right, hollow ichigo deserves to live too" which in hindsight, I realize was probably some not-entirely subconscious "no don't just delete and erase the existance of a part of yourself!!! You should make friends with them and make them your best ally!!! I want to see more HIchi and Ichigo interact ;w;"

and also

like

lowkey I had a Hollow Ichigo introject in my head that I didn't know about for the longest time so it was probably pretty personal

But personal shit aside, I honestly really do like it. I mean to some level - especially early in the series - its a lot of "oooooh spooky evil alter" vibes, but honest to god - and this is a controversial opinion - I think we need more nuanced "evil" alter representation rather than the elimination of the "evil alter" trope because shitty asshole alters exist and are actually common and I think its a lot more meaningful to show how two completely conflicting and otherwise aggressive towards eachother individuals can find a middle ground and empower eachother. Which is what Bleach does particularly with Ichigo and his hollow self and UNIRONICALLY the whole Bleach arc Ichigo has with his hollow self is incredibly similar to the "arc" that XIV and I had which, go figure. Me the Shounen Boy Optimist protagonist and a literal hollow ichigo introject had a similar arc to the Shounen Protagonist and Hollow ichigo. Do you see the shock in my voice?

Honestly if I have time and feel like it (unlikely since I don't often have time) I might put a longer opinion / discussion on it, but honestly, even outside of Ichigo, I think the way Bleach handles Zanpaktous and even stuff like Lillynette and Stark is just a really fun way to have a lot of plural / CDD adjacent themes and vibes without necessarily even being an allegory.

The idea of being able to have a manifestation of your soul and the power it has take a sentient form and the bonding, communication, and collaboration with said manifestation being the key to increased power and skill development is just??? The coolest thing?

Honestly I think Bleach has subconsciously informed a lot of how our system is structured and interacts in more ways than we are probably cognitively currently aware of and I think to some good level that whole just general vibe probably plays a role in it somewhere.

But man, I love this show. I honestly am genuinely thinking of returning to my natural autistic instincts and just chronically watching it whenever I dont have anything else to watch because I really DONT need to have a variety of shows to watch and honestly if something aint broke, why ever change it /hj

I can have a comfort anime smh

[electricea]

@spaceandthedigitalfrontier sent - 🛍 the one thing i wish all of my followers knew about me ( My Experience in the Roleplay Community - Accepting! )

🛍 - The one thing i wish all of my followers knew about me.

This was something I honestly really had to pause and think about before I posted - it's something I've thought for a long time, for years and have told to a few friends privately but never actually said because I didn't know how it would go over and I'm already not exactly the most articulate person so I didn't want to be misinterpreted or misunderstood or maybe I'd fumble the wording of it.

A few years ago I used to have a friendly - they were simultaneously very very selective of who they wanted to roleplay with and at the same time desperately seeking out people to roleplay with. We could call each almost daily, we would talk about our experiences, about the RPC, about our lives - and whenever we got onto that topic I would try to give her suggestions, I would recommend her blogs to follow, just ways to get more engagement and followers like she seemed to want to so badly.

More than a few times whenever we got into this topic she'd off-handedly say things like 'I'm not a popular blog like you' or 'I don't have a lot of people to write with like you', little things that felt almost kind of...I don't even know how to describe it - almost passive aggressive, they almost felt like jabs and I never quite knew what to say in response to that because I never really felt 'popular' at all and the fact that this friend shunned so many potential partners and had such strict standards for any she did really didn't help her case.

But it's something I still hear a few times every so often - just people off-handedly mentioning that and it never fails to make me feel uncomfortable. Part of the reason why I never wanted to post about it was because I was worried I might sound conceited re-telling this story - I honestly don't think of myself as a popular blog. I guess my definition of 'popular' is more of a socially popular, someone who's like very naturally charismatic, a social butterfly who can get along with anyone surrounded by friends, who can have lots of inside jokes, matching icons, group servers, all that stuff.

I've never really considered myself to be any of those - having asd I often feel behind on recent humour and memes and I can be slow to truly befriend people and really fully open up to others because of past experiences, partially due to people like this former friend.

I guess where I'm going with telling this story is that when people say that - it can feel like they're simply looking at what's on the outside, assuming that everything is great in someone's life or that they have zero problems or issues - when people casually mentioning that, it feels almost dismissive and simplifying and it never fails to give me this sort of discomfort inside as they don't know the inner workings of my life or what I feel. I don't know theirs. What's the purpose of saying that? How am I expected to respond to that? I just don't know.

Like I said, even as I write this, I still don't know how this will go over as it's something I've kept quiet for years - I desperately hope that I don't come off as someone who's conceited or arrogant or totally un-self aware of their surroundings. I just wanted to answer this question honestly because I felt it deserved as much. Sorry for the long post.

[mypoisonedvine]

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader (part 7)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  

word count: 2.5k

warnings: um just implied smut and fluff and a reference to bdsm I guess?? but it's pretty chill overall

Liked by starkcosmetics and others

y/n.y/l/n okay first of all, it takes an act of god to get a picture of this guy smiling, but it’s always worth it.  he really changed everything for me and I can’t thank him enough for that.  so happy ❤️ 

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caroldanvers 😍😍😍

flowercrowny/n oh my god this is so sweet i’m gonna cry

1 HOUR AGO

He smiled as he stared down at the post you’d made, remembering how much effort you’d put into finding the perfect picture (in your opinion; he thought he looked kinda dopey in it) as well as writing and re-writing your caption.

The speed at which your post gained likes and comments was inconceivable to him; even more impressive was the speed at which gossip rags were picking up the story.  Sure enough, his phone’s alerts to new headlines about you were not only going off like crazy, but had started to include news about himself as well.  

Y/N Y/L/N Shocks With Romantic Instagram Post, Confirms Dating Rumors

You’ll Never Guess Which Hollywood Starlet Is Dating Her Driver

Who is James Barnes?  Everything We Know About Y/N Y/L/N’s New Beau

Skimming one of the articles, he was impressed at how much information they’d managed to get without actually getting anything from you or him.  Born in Brooklyn, disabled Army veteran, worked a list of odd jobs before becoming your driver and bodyguard.  ‘No social media presence, prefers to keep a low profile’ one of them said; you can say that again, Bucky chuckled to himself when he read it.

He found another from People and didn’t particularly appreciate that it spent half the time going through all your past exes and rumored partners (turned out ‘rumored’ is a fancy word for ‘a bunch of fans deluded themselves so hard that it somehow turned into news without any proof necessary’).  But he still smiled when he got to the part that was actually about you and him.

‘The relationship is pretty new but they’re so happy together,’  a source close to the couple reported.  

Close indeed; that statement came from your publicist, who he’d never even meet.  

‘He’s a very private guy and she’s got this huge following, so they’re sort of an odd couple in that way, but she knows her fans are respectful and will let them have their own life outside of the spotlight.’ 

Bucky wasn’t sure that the respectfulness of fans was such a given here, but he hoped you were right.  To be fair, they’d been very sweet on your original post insofar. 

However, when he scrolled to the bottom of the celebrity magazine articles and realized they had their own comments section, he discovered that they were a little less forgiving than the ones on your Instagram.  

Is this the best she thinks she can do?  So sad tbh :(

a military guy…. yikes, she could get any guy she wants and she goes for a murderer. 

He looks like a hobo that found a coupon for a free haircut lol

I don’t buy it, I know she’ll always love Pietro!

Pietro being your former co-star that so many of your fans were convinced was actually your soulmate.  From what he’d heard from you, those speculations had made things so uncomfortable between the two of you that it killed your friendship.  Those were nothing, though, compared to the comments about someone you actually had dated.

she’s obviously not over sam… they were so good together

He’d better watch out for her ex, he still likes tweets about her and they have so much chemistry

Wait, she’s not still with Sam Wilson??  I could’ve sworn they’d been dating for, like, five years.

You were scrolling through your phone with a smile as you walked past where he was sitting on the couch, and he just couldn’t help himself from asking even though he knew it wasn’t the best idea.  “Do I need to worry about this Sam thing?” he blurted out, trying to play it cool and not sound too anxious.  “People are really obsessed with you two…”

“Sam and I…” you sighed, staring off into space for a second.  He made himself anxious imagining what you were thinking about in that moment.  “I haven’t talked to him in… years?  I think it’s just because our relationship was so public that people are still talking about it.  And it had a lot of gossip material— we did a movie together, people thought it was sweet that we got together during production, it was great promotion for the picture… and from the outside, we made a lot of sense for each other.  But he has his own problems.  I loved him, but… he wasn’t ever going to be a one-girl kinda guy.”

“But you’re not just any one girl.  You’re… you know, you,” he emphasized.

“You’ve been reading too many headlines,” you shook your head as you sat down beside him.  “Please don’t turn into one of those guys who thinks of me as a celebrity first.  Before that—” you pointed to your own name where it was bolded on his screen in the trending topics page of Twitter— “was popping up on movie posters and in gossip magazines, it was just my name.  And I’m not perfect.  Not even close.”

Bucky sighed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and holding you tightly.  “And before I knew you were famous, or rich, or incredibly talented, I was totally obsessed with you just for who you are.”

“You’re too fucking amazing,” you sighed as you held his face and gave him a gentle kiss— the kind of kiss that instantly melted his heart and banished his worries.  When you pulled back and looked up at him with a smile, it was like everything else just… faded away.  “Don’t read the comments, okay?  None of them matter.”

He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, overwhelmed by not only the softness of your skin but of your spirit as well.  In all his life he’d never been handled so… gently, with so much care.  “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled, not even really realizing he’d said it aloud until you gave him a beaming smile.

“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” you giggled pridefully.

“Seriously?  I can… very easily believe it,” he scoffed.

“I just mean… you’re so…” you searched for the words.  “You’re actually good to me, that’s the thing.  I’m not used to that.”

“You deserve the world,” he assured.  “I’m just gonna keep trying to give you as much of it as I can find.”

He watched his hand trail over your face, down your neck and to your chest where he played with the hem of your t-shirt.

"It's odd to know there are millions of people who are jealous of me,” he admitted quietly, remembering some aggressive comments from some very angry dudes who had apparently also watched your nude scene a few too many times.

"Do you like it?  Do you like how it feels to know you're making them angry every time you touch me?"

"Couldn't care less," he refuted.  "Nobody else matters when I'm touchin' you."

“Do you maybe wanna… touch me a little more about it?” you smirked, opening your legs slightly in invitation.

“Always.”

//

Bucky had, thankfully, not let the newfound fame get to his head.  In fact, he had demanded that the two of you hunker down in the house, since he feared that going out would lead to being recognized.  What he apparently hadn’t anticipated was that that might not be enough.

“Will you get that?” you requested when the gate buzzed, too wrapped up in the book you were reading to answer the intercom.

He hopped up and held down the button to communicate with the gate speaker.  “Who is it?” he asked.

“I’ve got a delivery from Anjappar Chettinad on 23rd?”

Bucky didn’t even reply before hitting the green button and granting access to the driveway.  BEEP BEEP BEEP! you heard the gate signal its opening, and the car pulling around up to the door.  Bucky didn’t open it until there was a knock, greeting the delivery guy with a smile and the necessary cash.

“I’ve got a lamb korma, hyderabadi mutton dum biryani and an order of— woah,” the man suddenly stopped, staring at Bucky’s face.  “Are you—?’

“Hungry?  Yes,” he frowned.

“You’re the guy dating— holy shit, congrats man,” he beamed, smacking Bucky on the shoulder pridefully before leaning in with a mischievous smirk.  “Say, is she a freak or what?”

“She is,” you piped up from the couch, making both men turn their heads; but one was chuckling while the other looked mortified.  “You better not have forgotten my paneer pakora or I’m gonna chain you up and whip you.”

“Uh, I— no, I got it right here,” he promised weakly, handing the bag over to Bucky and starting to dash away before Bucky grabbed his arm, making the smaller man whimper fearfully.

“You forgot the money,” Bucky reminded him gruffly, stuffing the bills into the driver’s front pocket.

Finally, he let go, and the delivery man instantly pulled away, rubbing his arm and looking a bit like a kicked puppy as he went back to his car and drove away.

“You didn’t need to scare him that bad,” Bucky chuckled.

“I could say the same to you!  Grabbing somebody with the metal arm like that will put the fear of God into them pretty fast.”

“I didn’t mean to grab him that hard,” he admitted, examining the prosthetic hand as he came back to the couch with the bag of food, handing it to you while he focused on watching his motorized fingers curl and uncurl.  “I think I need to get this thing recalibrated… it’s been bugging out lately.”

“I dunno, it was working just fine last night,” you smiled, remembering how delightfully cool those fingers felt inside you.

Bucky seemed to miss it entirely, though, as he stared off into space.  “I can’t believe I got… recognized.”

“You’re a star,” you winked.  “And not just with random delivery drivers.  I’ve had a lot of press requests, everybody wants to be the first one to get nice pictures of us together— we’ve had a dozen event invites as a couple.”

“Seriously?!” he scoffed, snapping back to reality slightly enough 

“Yeah, and look what came in same-day mail this morning!”  You leaned over to shuffle through the mail on the side table before finding and handing him a letter in a gold-embossed envelope, watching him read what you knew was inside.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association extends an invitation to Y/N Y/L/N and James Barnes to the annual Grant Banquet in support of the Young Artists Fund.

“It seems like a good first event for us,” you explained.  “Relatively small and low stakes, it’s for a good cause…”

“Are you sure I’m ready to be, you know… seen?  By people?” 

You scoffed, hardly believing how insecure he could be sometimes.  “You look great, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Will I have to talk to anybody other than you?” he asked, grimacing as if that were a form of brutal torture.

“Probably,” you admitted.

His frown deepened.  “What if I say the wrong thing?”

“I’m not that worried about you,” you smirked.  “You’re a lot better at this stuff than you think you are.”

“I don’t have anything to wear…”

You smirked, a little too proud of yourself, when you remembered the email your publicist had forwarded to you just this morning.  “Hugo Boss will pay you $1500 to wear one of their suits on the carpet.”

“They’ll pay me to wear free clothes?” he repeated with wide eyes.

“Yeah, that’s one of the cooler things about fame,” you laughed.  “I make a grand every time I wear this watch outside!”

“I guess I should send them my measurements then…” he trailed off.  “Any chance I can get in on that watch deal?”

“No, but you can make $50 by getting papped at Jamba Juice.”

He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he thought.  “Is the smoothie comped?”

“I don’t know.  Do you want me to ask?”

“...kinda…” he admitted with a shy smile.  

“Well, I will, and I’ll RSVP to this invite saying we’ll be there next week,” you decided as you started to open up the food, but Bucky stopped you by reaching for your hands.

“Are we really doing this?” he asked.

“If you want to,” you mitigated.

“Of course I do.  I guess I have to accept that you’re actually willing to be seen with me,” he chuckled.  “It’s just sort of hard to believe.”

You leaned in and kissed him; it was meant to be a casual, reassuring peck but he held you closer and you melted into him, moaning softly at his touch as you started to climb into his lap.

“The food’s gonna get cold,” he reminded you with a mumble against your lips.

Unfortunately, your literal hunger was a bit too strong to ignore, even with the growing intensity of a metaphorical hunger for Bucky.  “Alright,” you relented, getting off of him and returning your attention to the meal on the table.  “Just know that I really, really want to be seen together, in public, just in case anybody missed the news about us already.  I’m not embarrassed by you or afraid you’re going to do something dumb.  I…”

One of those words that can’t be unsaid started to bubble up in your throat and you coughed, banishing the thought.

“I really like you.  I think we have something special.”

He smiled gently, giving you one more kiss on the cheek.  “I think so, too.”

//

Since this was slightly less of a big deal than a premiere or press tour, you had managed to convince your styling team to let you dress yourself, which was why he was laying on the bed and talking to you through the bathroom door while you put on your gown.

“Do you want me to hire a new driver?” you prompted him, voice muffled slightly as he imagined your head covered in the fabric, trying to navigate through the dress.  “I don’t want you to feel… I don’t know, like a servant?”

“A servant?  You’re still paying me,” he reminded you.  “You are still paying me, right?”

“Yes,” you laughed, “but still, I would hate it if you felt like staff.  You’re my boyfriend!”

(His heart still fluttered every time you said it.)

“No new driver,” he decided.  “I can drive just fine, and considering how things went between us… let’s not open the door for anybody else,” he smirked, making you laugh in that way you did when he made a stupid joke but you still liked it somehow.

“Okay, sure, but what about being my bodyguard?  Is that too weird?” you continued.

“God no,” he scoffed, “if anything I’m gonna be better at my job than ever.  As your boyfriend, keeping you safe is my job, but since keeping you safe was already my job… it’s, like, doubled-up now.”

He lost his train of thought when you opened the door.

“How do I look?” you asked as you stepped in and gave him a spin in your new dress.  Your whole body was draped in red silk, with the exception of your back which was almost entirely exposed, as if it were begging him to run his fingers down your spine.

“Like everything I ever wanted,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

And it was so odd that you questioned his desire to drive you, because those moments where he could steer with one hand and rest the other on your thigh, when he could catch a glimpse of you looking out the window at the city rolling by, when he got to listen to you ramble about something to kill the time during a drive; those were his favorite moments, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

After a relatively brief trip, you arrived at the venue, and all of a sudden he was doing what he’d fantasized about more than he’d like to admit: escorting you down a red carpet.  It was almost overwhelming— yelling, chattering, reporters speaking into camera, flashes going off in every direction—

“Hey,” you whispered, bringing your hand up to his cheek and instantly taking all his attention.

“Hey,” he returned.

“Just follow my lead,” you instructed.

“That was the plan.”

[youwontlikethisblog]

La Arrogancia De La Niña

Read Posts 1-3 titled Betty, My Betty to catch up to the character analysis that I will be talking about here.

A little background: After Armando dropped Betty off he went to Marcela's apartment. He seemed indecisive if he wanted to stay or leave as he walked towards the dining table and then towards the elevator, spun and went back to the dining room while we heard Betty's monologue.

At first glance I did think Armando pulled away from Marcela because he had just been kissing with Betty. Though we know that he has been able to kiss Marcela even when he's snuck off with his models, so it's not guilt. When he goes to brush his teeth he says that he can't be kissing Marcela after kissing Betty, that if she found out she'd kill him.

From the very few interviews that I have seen about the characters I remember Jorge Enrique saying that Armando is obsessed with perfection, especially in women and because of that he is very impatient with Betty because she doesn't fit that vision of his.

Armando isn't physically attracted to Betty, that's a fact and the reason why he lives in such denial but he still acts with deliberation.

Just because he is in denial about his feelings it doesn't excuse the things he does knowing exactly what he feels about them.

Armando earases Betty's trace from him in this scene and after that he no longer feels guilty, he stares at Marcela and admires her beauty. He kisses her telling her how he needed to see her, how badly he needed her to help him forget the horrors of the day.

In this scene what caught my attention was that he makes eye contact with her like nothing. With Betty at the office he struggled to make eye contact with her or hold it. The only time he managed to was when the topic was only about work but when the conversation was over he couldn't look at her or make eye contact for longer than a second with her.

With Marcela he's able to hold eye contact, conversation, touch her, kiss her, tell her how he needs her. This parallels allows us to understand the reason being that one relationship is only based on physicality while the other one is based on person/human connection.

When their scene for that night comes to a closing Armando and Marcela are kissing and he has his eyes open and the exact same expression he had with Betty. He closes his eyes for a second and they pull away and hug. He looks confused and then rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

Here he is now feeling the effects of the kiss with Betty. He kissed her sober. He felt something again and unlike before he can't excuse it for being drunk so when he now kisses Marcela and he realizes that he feels off or not like before, he chucks it for guilt and dismisses the topic from his mind.

Now that we've got this background let's proceed to the scene at hand.

Mario and Armando go to have a briefing about the previous night.

When you're writing dialogue(if it comes naturally to you) you don't pick and choose every word used and think about the impact it holds. That is why it's so important to know your characters and understand them before you start writing. It's important to understand their role, who they are, everything inside and out, and then writing comes naturally. Once you've learned to distinguish their voice, their tone in writing your conscious becomes invisible and everything comes from your subconscious. In the first draft you go unfiltered. You pour out your tears, your blood, you whole heart into it, and when you rewrite it to polish it you go into detail. You remove the bits that don't really make an impact and you find the words that really push your point across.

Writing is truthfully, in my humble opinion, the art that truthfully transfers you and evokes emotion like no other. I paint, I write songs, I draw and I do all these other artistical things but writing, the gift that I rejected for years, is the most comforting and the most beautiful of all arts. When done right you don't only make people travel among space and dimensions but you cause a huge impact in their intelectual person. A pen and paper are the most dangerous weapons.

You might be wondering why I'm even talking about this on this post but it's important to understand and credit the true mastermind behind this story as he wrote it by himself, be it at a rush with no time, with all the time in the world, money or no money, he wrote something that impacted an entire world and inspired change.

A ruthless man falls in love with a beautiful woman.

You can say "but Betty isn't beautiful." and that's where the message is lost. Betty is beautiful. Beauty, people often think is based on the physical appearance of something or someone but Beauty is the essences of something or someone. We don't look at the sunset and think it's only beautiful because of it' colors. We look at it and think it's beautiful because of its power, of it's essences, and it's presens. We are in awe of its magnificence and that makes it beautiful.

So Betty is beautiful.

Betty is deserving of love, kindness, respect, faithfulness, loyalty, and so so much more because she is utterly beautiful.

Fernando's intention was to teach us that. That beauty is not skin deep. Beauty is the heart of someone and their impact in the people around them.

Armando isn't beautiful at the start of this. He is an ugly human being but with qualities that make him passible. To find his beauty you have to really dig into him.

The true monster here is Mario, but Armando is guilty for simply allowing Mario to continue this way.

Mario asks him if they kissed and Armando tells him that he kissed her twice.

Let's start.

"Well you know what I ended up not liking? Come over here that I'm gonna tell you more" Armando stands up and walks to the double doors and stands under the door frame of his office and the meeting room. Mario follows him.

"Imagine that this woman last night got hooked on that I couldn't be crazy about her. That I couldn't be obsessed for her. That she doesn't have enough qualities for me to fall in love with her."

What does Armando's body language tell us? Like last night, it truly boggles or frustrates him that Betty says things. It's almost like if he found it an insult for Betty to insinuate these things. Here his hand is moving vastly in the air making points of what Betty told him, his is speaking fast and his tone is frustrating all of this indicates he is offended or angry that Betty would think that of him.

in short translation: How could Betty think that I wouldn't be attracted to her? Crazy about her? Why, am I just a stupid superficial man? Who only cares about women's bodies and not who they are as a person? That she doesn't have any qualities that would drive me crazy and be obsessed with her?

Obviously he isn't going to tell this to Mario or really himself either.

"Well she isn't naive. She's seen herself in a mirror." Mario jokes.

"Of course but I had to name a bunch of qualities to convince her."

"Qualities?" he whispers.

"Yes." he whispers aggressively.

"Tell me, that imagination and creativity of yours; What qualities did you have to tell her?"

Armando shrugs and starts to mumble incoherently and Mario interrupts him.

"And did they[she] believe you?"

"Well I hope so."

"Did you kiss her?"

"I said yes. I kissed her twice." He whispers annoyed.

"What did she say? Are you both dating? Did she accept that she's crazy for you?" Mario sounds too excited with the last questions which gives the impression that he likes to hear all of this which is just gross.

Armando gives us a micro expression of confusion, it seems like his hands are inside his pockets and he shrugs and shakes his head.

"Well man that's what's weird about it. I did tell her I was obsessed with her, that I'm dying for her, but she's not of me." Mario gasps, shocked. "That she thinks I'm a very interesting man, that she admires me a lot, that I've been real special with her for a lifetime but that no, that's the only thing she finds attractive of me." Armando's quick pace but without stutters or word fillers allows us to know that he is confident in what he is saying(he's thought about this a lot) but nervous about what it means.

Mario gasps again and tells him "Do me the favor. The arrogance of that girl. You almost don't convince her, you have to kiss her two times and after that she tells you, Hey, I admire you." Between this cluster of words we see Armando thinking hard. He really is bothered or worried about Betty not really showing an interest in him.

Our egos are a huge part of who we are. We want to be liked by people and accepted, it's part of our genetic makeup. We are sociable beings. Now, if I told my boss that I admired them and that they always treated be respectfully and respected my job I think my boss would feel pretty happy about that. It would boost his ego.

Armando however isn't acting like that. If he was truly unbothered by Betty and her feelings towards him(it isn't because of the plan) than he'd just chuck it in a bin and say he'll work on it. He's literally spent two days with Betty since the kiss, he wants Betty to be fawning over him now?

His ego is hurt, his man ego. He wants Betty to like him, to like him as a man and not her boss and it isn't because of the plan because if it were than the man would understand that steady wins the race but he's an impatient man who wants Betty on the same page he's in.

"Yeah, yeah, see I think she still has that guy Nicolas stuck in her head." (ARMANDO IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS, THREE DAYS! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?)

"No." Mario whispers.

"Yeah and I don't like it at all. Look at what she left on my desk this morning."

Now they turn their backs to the office and face the meeting room. While Mario holds the chocolate bar in his hand he tells a worried Armando:

"Aw but how sweet. Now, see this is a good sign."

"Really? Is it? You think so?" he says hopeful.

"Aw, man, please."

"Really?It is?" he looks at the chocolate bar in Mario's hand and then stares off, concentrated, in what Mario is saying.

"Look this means she accepts the relationship?"

"Really?" he whispers hopeful.

"Now you have to consecrate-" Armando shifts, now he rest his hand on Mario's shoulder and starts to bite his thumb nail as he listens closely to Mario, the love guru. "You have to eradicate from her head and heart that guy Nicolas Mora, want some?" he asks after taking a piece of chocolate out.

"Yeah, keep going." he takes a piece out too. "keep going that I like what you're saying."

Here the opportunity he's been waiting for presents itself. Betty accepting the relationship gives room for him to remove Nicolas from her love life, therefore leaves him in the center of it.

"These ugly[women] like Betty are very romantic." Armando nods. "So then you have to create a routine of a boyfriend." Armando nods, agreeing. "You have to feed the illusion, you have to maintain the relationship alive." once again Armando nods in agreement and with his hands gestures that he wants to hear more. "because starting from this point on my dear sir you are now the boyfriend of Beatriz Pinzon Solano." Armando's eyes are wide, lips pursed together(could be because he has chocolate in his mouth) and hands in pickets, he turns to his left, away from Mario for a brief second and has a face of "Are you for real?"

"But but how will-what kind of gifts, things do you mean?"

"Look brother, romance is like a bonfire. If you don't feed it the passion extinguishes. It's that simple. We shouldn't call this a win. I think Betty isn't sure about how serious your are[about your feelings]. You have to work on her more, make her fall in love and you have to show her that this is something very serious, you understand me?"

"But what kind of job that I have to do?"

That's the end of that scene.

Later when Mario and him are talking how to go about with the gifts and romantic details we get confirmation(post Thank You...) that when it comes to the physical of it, Armando pictures AA instead of Betty.

From here once again we do get a clear understanding that Armando is confused and when he's not confused(very different emotions) he is in denial of it. He is worried about the company. Mario only ever brings it up when he sees that emotions aren't motivating Armando enough to continue with the plan.

I think it's very important to understand the intention of what we are being shown here. The writing is meant to help us understand what they are saying. Words, speed of speech, gestures, expressions, and body language help us determine what is actually being said.

When Mario suggest that he take Betty to some tavern or club instead of restaurants Armando says that he doesn't think Betty will like those.

I think we've all established that Armando does care about Betty and therefore I don't need to breakdown his behavior so much. We understand that he is going along with this plan because he wants to keep Eco Moda and Betty all to himself.

Mario, The Love Guru, Calderon takes advantage of Armando's ego and his confused state of mind as of late to play him like a fidel and for some reason still when Armando finally confesses his real feelings for Betty to him he acts surprised.

Armando isn't a saint. He still willinging went along with the plan to make Betty fall in love so when Betty asked him "what about me?" he showed his true colors of selfishness because he dismissed her feelings. He dismissed the potential heartbreak and downfall of a woman who has been exceptional with him, who he recognizes as exceptional and yet for his ego and his company he used her like a pawn, even if it was his favorite one, he didn't care.

For him right now Betty is just an object that he likes a lot and these scene show us that.

[EDIT: While yes I still think Armando still views Betty as an object, this next scene shows us that that is starting to change.]

As the scene continues Mario tries to downplay Armando's guilt by saying that he's basically doing charity work because no man, especially one like him[Armando] would ever be interested in, muchless court, a woman like Betty.

Armando goes to clarify what he's trying to saying.

"You don't understand what I'm trying to say. I'm going to end up causing her harm. See I can tell it's really easy to get her to fall in love. " Now we hear from that man of the hour, how he feels about Betty's kiss though he only describes the way she kisses him, his expressions and his tone of voices allows us to see that he likes her kisses and how they make him feel, however because he thinks she's "ugly" it's hard for him to understand this.

"Everytime she kisses me it's with such a tenderness, a sweetness, where she holds my face and stares at me with such an admiration, like if I were her idol." While he says he speaks of it with fondness and I must admit, lovingly.

He doesn't hate her kisses and he doesn't hate the way he feels about them. So he didn't wipe away Betty's kisses and brush his mouth because of Betty's kisses because he was disgusted. He did it for Marcela and her ego and his guilt because the kisses meant more to him than any other kisses he's ever given, that's why the first kiss was strange. That's why he is so confused about it but what stops him again from understanding the significance of these feelings is Betty's outer appearance.

This is now trekking away from the objectification of Betty to a more sentimental route where he no longer just views her as his possession but an actual person.

The moment Calderon jokes "It's because you are her idol." Armando shuts off, he stops trying to explain himself or his feelings and annoyed asks Mario what does he think of the whole thing then?

"When we recover Eco Moda, pay off our debts, and recover our money, what then? What happens to her? What happens with that relationship?"

"Well you do what you do with every girlfriend that becomes a burden. You fire her, you get rid of her."

Remember that Armando was willing to fire Claudia, until Mario made him feel guilty for the lecture he gave him about Aura Maria. Even then after Marcela asked for her head he didn't hesitate to talk to Hugo about it, who gave him a lecture about it.

However he was hesitant to fire Betty, even before there was any romance involved. He didn't want to get rid of her so now that Mario says that once she gives them back everything they can get rid of her Armando looks at him in disbelief and angry.

Armando really doesn't want to ever have Betty outside of his life and he can't imagine his life without her in it in someway or form.

Now, Patty goes in yelling, Armando shows up, kindly speaks to Betty while aggressively speaks to Patty.

Again this display's Armando's guilt but also his desire to make Betty happy by treating her well.

[sideblog-666-thousand]

Euronymous Interview in Decibel of Death, ‘87. English Translation. Ft. Euronymous’ depraved torture fantasies involving Coca-Cola.

‘Decibel of Death’ was a French fanzine from the 80s. It’s first issue was released in ‘86, and by the summer of ‘87, it switched over from French to English-language. This has been my favourite interview of Euronymous for a long time now, so I decided I’d translate it to English so that other, non-francophone, people could enjoy it too. This issue in particular is from February of ‘87, and was their fourth issue overall.

I’ll add a link to where you can find this, and other D.O.D scans, below. If anybody wants me to translate more French, or Russian, interviews, feel free to PM me.

Note: NDLR is the editor’s notes. Any commentary or context by me will be in bold and in parenthesis, so feel free to totally ignore it. If something is between “« »” it’s because it was already written in English to begin with.

Disclaimer: if some of the sentences sound like the energizer bunny is hooked on an iv rig full of pure meth, don’t blame me, I did my best. Take it up with Euronymous himself. Also, I’m not excusing Euronymous’ poor behaviour, I’m just saying his poor behaviour is kind of entertaining.

Without further ado...

D.O.D: And once again, here’s Norwegian Mayhem. If you remember, we presented them to you back in the May issue of D.O.D. Since then, they released a new demo titled “Death Crush”!! Because of this event, we decided to ask the guitarist of this rather sinister band a few questions.

D.O.D: Okay, there’s been more than a few line-up changes in Mayhem. Can you tell us what the current one is?

Euro: Alright, there’s me on guitars, Manheim on battery, Necro-butcher on drums, and our session vocalist, Maniac.

D.O.D:  And what is the medium age of the group?

Euro: We are all 18 years old.

D.O.D: How long has Mayhem been around for?

Euro: Mayhem has been around since August of ‘84 with this line-up, before that, I played in another shitty metal group that was also called Mayhem. The other members also played in a crappy band before we all met.

D.O.D: How would you describe your music?

Euro: Ah, well, it’s like a wall of sound played at extreme speed all mixed with the sound of a chainsaw!!

D.O.D: In your opinion, who are the biggest posers on this planet?

Euro: That definitely has to be the Swedish group ‘Europe’. «Fuck them!!» I hate this band!!

D.O.D: Ha ha, what would you like to do to make them suffer?

(This is the exact moment where the interviewers realize that Euronymous is literally fucking insane. The editor censors some of the things Euronymous says because he has a very vulgar manner of speaking, so, brace yourselves. To make it abundantly clear— I didn’t censor any of this, if it was me, I’d let him continue swearing ‘til next year if he wanted to. Take it up with D.O.D!)

Euro: First of all, I’d cut them and make them eat their own (bleep)!! Then, I’ll fuck them in the ass with an empty bottle of Coke, and if they’re still alive somehow, I’ll drown them in their own piss!! (NDLR: I’d do the same to a few guys in Germany and Switzerland!!) But all of this is reserved for their guitarist, drummer and bassist, I have a far crueler torture for their singer, for him, I’m simply going to break his mirror and steal his perfume!! Haaaaafuckinghah!!! (NDLR: ahahahaha, this is so much fun!!)

D.O.D: Okay, Euronymous, onto more serious topics, who composes the most in Mayhem?

Euro: It’s me and Necro, but sometimes Manheim comes up with good riffs, he actually wrote most of P.F.A (Pure Fucking Armageddon)

D.O.D: I believe thrashers reacted pretty well to your first demo, right?

Euro: Despite the zero sound of this demo. It's true that it's actually the hardcore thrashers that appreciated it, although it was the others hating it that gave us an enormous promotion like with 'Metal Forces'.

D.O.D: Has there been groups that have influenced you?

Euro: Of course, early Venom has really inspired us, although we don’t sound like them in any way. We’re also influenced by bands like Hellhammer and Sodom.

D.O.D: Mayhem is a common band name, what do you think of other Mayhem (such as NYC Mayhem, Mayhem (WC), Mayhem (Oregon))?

Euro: NYC Mayhem* are excellent, I adore them! (NDLR: me too!!) and they call themselves NYC Mayhem. But as for the other Mayhems, they stink, «fuckin’ shit»,  like the Mayhem that’s on Metal Massacre VI*, they really stink, their music isn’t destructive like ours is at all, they don’t deserve this name, I hate them!!

D.O.D: I heard you guys played a show, how did that go?

Euro: It was really «cool», it was at a small rock festival that had around 3-400 «discofucks» (NDLR: this is the censored translation) and when we went on stage with our first session vocalist “Messiah”, we broke a bass over their mouths!! We gave these idiots hell!! Ha ha!! (I’ll link the show he’s referring to below)

D.O.D: And how did your other gigs go?

Euro: For now this has been our only show!! And we don’t know how the crowds will react at the prospect of future gigs.

D.O.D: Fair. Since we’re talking about future gigs, what will those be like?

Euro: They’ll be full of occult things, we’ll play in complete darkness and there’ll be red blood spots, chandeliers, smoke, and pig heads on stakes, it’ll be totally thrashing!!

D.O.D: How’s the Norwegian thrash scene? It’s pretty dull, no?

Euro: Right now, «it sucks», there’s no audience, but it seems to be going in the right direction with bands like Vomit*, Septic Cunts, Decay Lust, and Flowers in The Dustbin.

D.O.D: And what kind of things are your lyrics about?

Euro: depravity, like tearing someone’s (bleep), eating worms, and all those fine things!!

D.O.D: What are your favourite bands?

Euro: Really hard question, there’s so many good bands coming out but I think the bands I like the most are old Venom, Deathchamber, Sodom, Necrophagia, Destruction, Death, Kreator, Poison. (No, not THAT Poison)

D.O.D: Do you ever listen to hardcore?

Euro: «Yeah» I like Chaotic Discord, Septic Death, UK Subs, and others. It hasn’t been that long since I went to see Disorder and it was awesome!!

D.O.D: Are you considering going on tour?

Euro: No, not exactly. But soon we’ll play at a Norwegian thrash festival. We’ll also play at a thrash festival in Copenhagen, and probably do a few shows with Kreator/Necrophagia in ‘87.

(No, this isn’t a typo on my end, it actually says ‘87. There’s two reasons why this might be the case. One, it could be an error on the part of the editor, who deserves an interview of his own, or two, it could be an error by Euronymous himself since the interview might have been conducted in January. Euronymous could have mixed the years up as one sometimes does. However, ‘Death Crush’, the demo, actually came out in March of ‘87. What the interviewer and Euronymous are referring to as ‘Death Crush’ is likely ‘Death Rehearsal’, which is exactly what it sounds like, and was taped back January of ‘87.)

D.O.D: I heard you guys are recording a new demo, is it ready?

Euro: We just entered the studio to record the second “Death Crush” demo, but at the moment, we only have three songs. I’m also unsure of whether or not we’ll have enough money to record anything else, and the vocals still haven’t been put to music!!

D.O.D: There’s some rumours that you guys were contacted by certain record labels, is this true?

Euro: It’s true, we got a letter from Axe killer records saying that they were interested in us but they never listened to our music and I also sent them our demo tape but I don’t believe we’ll be receiving any letters from them now!!

D.O.D: Do you have anything to add?

Euro: Of course, «fucking ARGHHHH!!»

There, that’s all :)

If you’re interested in some of the asterisks I put in, here they are in order of their appearances:

*Unlike most of the bands Euronymous named in this interview, NYC Mayhem (and later as Straight Ahead) never released more than a few demo. They were a straight edge band from, you guessed it, NYC— Queens to be exact. Despite never releasing a full album, their sound inspired some grindcore and death metal bands, notably Carcass. They were also straight edge, which makes Euronymous’ mental breakdown over the Mayhem that was on Metal Massacre very, very ironic. Especially considering he was pretty straight edge himself, especially back in 1987– outside of maybe smoking some pot.

Here is their 1985 demo, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t-3geR1JbY4

*Metal Massacre is a series of compilation albums starting in 1982, released by Metal Blade records. Typically, these were independent and unsigned bands. Some notable ones include Metallica on the first edition with ‘Hit the lights’. Slayer in ‘83 with ‘Aggressive Perfector’. The ‘84 edition had Voivod, Overkill, and Hellhammer.

The one which Euronymous is referring to, however, is the one from ‘85. Here it is, the timestamp is 14:19 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HqwfsLvLvuY

It’s really not that bad— certainly not worth the double exclamation points.

*If you don’t know who Vomit are, you must not know much about early Mayhem. They were another thrash band who shared rehearsal space with Mayhem. Torben Grue and Kittil Kittilsen (what a sad fucking name) were also ‘in’ Mayhem at some point. Kittil once shaved off his eyebrow, but I don’t know why. Here is a picture of the dork:

The show Euronymous is talking about: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mjay2Lmj9C8 yes, this is the show where Euronymous flashes his ass. I think it’s funny because he talks big but he seemed very hesitant to do it, and practically ducked backstage afterwards. Necro, on the other hand, was very proud to have broken his bass.

Well, that’s all I have. If you read this far, I hope you enjoyed the additional notes I left. Outside of a few more interviews of Mayhem, I also have a few obscure Emperor interviews that were posted to the internet in late 90s. There’s an especially funny one where Faust is allowed to interview Ihsahn and Samoth from prison. He’s sarcastic the entire time, refers to the readers as ‘morons’ and proclaims everyone should all die in a nuclear war with the same energy you cross yourself with. Overall, it’s a funny read. I also have one where he interviews Varg, and Euronymous (separately) for his own ‘zine back in the early 90s. Actually— I have A LOT of interviews of Faust for some reason, including two where he’s actually on camera. I might post them if I feel like it, or if somebody wants them. Is anyone here an especially big fan of Faust?

Last but not least, here is the link to the ‘zine:

http://france.metal.museum.free.fr/revues/fanzines/decibel_of_death/04/page_03.htm

[taeslovehandles]

I never meant to target you and I'm sorry you felt that way. You properly tag everything and adhere to the "don't like, don't read" rule. I don't follow you nor you follow, because we simply don't vibe together and that's okay.

But there are posts that are on the more "innocent" side that do represent fat people as a joke and it's like they don't even realize it because it's something so well ingrained in our fatphobic society.

For example, all the characters are having fun except the fat one or referring to someone as "twice his size" (like... If they want to say he's huge, they should just say it, not imply that there's a "right size" for someone to be).

I don't think authors should censor themselves, just acknowledge the role they play in how fat characters are perceived by the community they write for.

-🍓

First of all, since you obviously haven’t blocked me, you could have come to me via direct message. This is not a topic that needs to be brought out into the public eye even more than it already is. I have worked with anons before, I would have been the last person to reveal who you are. You could have made a trash account to message me in dm’s, but since you didn’t, I will reply to you here.

I want to make one thing clear. This will be my last response on the topic. If you do not like me as a member of the community please use the block button and filter me out, because I will stay. I have many friends here, and know that many people enjoy my content. Just because a small handful of people don’t appreciate dark themes in fiction, the contents of which they can easily protect themselves from, won’t make me falter.

Now, I want to debunk this ask because your ‘apology’ actually made me very upset.

I know you don’t mean it when you say you are sorry because you’re backpedaling on what you’ve told your friends and it really rubs me the wrong way. You could have owned up to your mistakes and apologized sincerely like others had but you continue to play victim and excuse your behaviour with tales of your own trauma, projecting your own insecurities onto my blog and thus hating me.

I know for a fact that you despise my blog, especially my writing, because you do not like how “obviously skinny people write about weight gain.”

Honey.

I couldn’t be any further from skinny.

I don’t mind sharing my actual weight, which has actually gotten worse due to COVID. I weigh 490lbs. I am morbidly obese. I have always been morbidly obese. For you to come and be “nitpicky” about a genre you don’t even enjoy? Why are you even reading my fics then?

The way I write about obese people, their struggles with literally everything… that comes from real life experience. I write this to share embarrassing and exhausting daily life tasks I personally struggle with.

A skinny person would never write some of the stuff I do, because they simply don’t know. They don’t know how scary it is to hear the line “we are going to a restaurant.” They don’t know how scary it is to go into that new restaurant, scan the chairs and think “Shit, am I gonna fit? Is the chair gonna creak? Is there enough space for the next table? What if I won’t fit?” A thin person doesn’t have to think this way.

And, let me tell you something else. Yes, I agree. The world is fatphobic.

In one of my recent posts I talked about movies and shows where they make fun of fat people because I hate it. Because it is REAL LIFE. And I am all for the body positivity movement and I do believe that all bodies are beautiful, because they are.

You do not know me personally.

And that leads to my next point. If you personally have issues with the phrase “twice my size”, then that is on you. And guess what? I cannot count how often I’ve heard lines like that my whole life.

“Oh wow two people would fit in one of your pant legs.”

“Wow, you are so fat, I could use your pants as a tent.”

So trust me, I know. I KNOW. But anon, this is the important part for me. Everyone processes trauma differently.

Inked ch3? Or literally any story I have written with a fat character being forced, insulted and talked down to like they’re dumb? That’s what I have been living with my entire life. Most of these stories, some obviously more extreme than how I had experienced them since it’s fiction, have been recordings of trauma I have went through.

My own dad force fed me. Forced me to eat food and gain weight. My first boyfriend was a feeder that manipulated me into gaining more weight and took measurements. Called me pig names and abused me. Hit me, manipulated me into having s** with him and then let all of his fantasies out on me.

I don’t make this shit up. I hate my brain for being so twisted now, that I actually find it hot and arousing. It’s weird. I know, but that’s how it is.

I’ve also never had friends in school. Not even kindergarten. Why? Because my “fat incased body could spread like a virus.” I was being bullied like JK was in Pondus.

I had hot water thrown at me, got glue put on my seats and hair, had my hair ripped out and even got a cigarette burn mark on my arm. Just because I was fat. Just because of how my body was shaped.

I was strangled and locked into a small locker for a night. I was almost killed for running away from my abusive dad from his car and had to listen to things like, “You are going to die when you are 30. No one will ever love you and your body.” That I have trust issues now and am paranoid about everything and everyone.

Those dark stories. I use those dark stories to try to work through my trauma. And yes, it may be absurd to you. It may disgust you, what I write. But sadly, most of it? Most of it really happened to me. To me and other people I’ve talked to as a friend or seen online. Most of what I write will be dark because the human species is made up of terrible creatures.

Fatphobia is an important topic, and I am happy the media has been slowly getting better about it, that people accept us more. But my writing is how I work with my trauma. If I can make fictional characters feel the same things I had to feel, that makes me feel better.

And I’m not hurting anyone with it. So how is it wrong?

I do not support any of this behaviour in real life. I never bullied anyone, I always try to speak up for my friends and tell people if they are being assholes. Because I hate them too and it makes me angry when good people get shit when they do nothing but breathe.

And how @pudgecuddles already said. I don't need you to advocate for body positivity and all that shit when you go out of your way to bully someone that may have experienced the same shit you have. I do not know you or what you went through in your life, but I am sorry. I’m sorry you feel like my stories aren’t okay to write, but this is how I work on my trauma and I need you to respect that.

I’ve said this before. We don’t have to be friends, or even talk to each other.

Just be neutral.

Block me. Filter me out. Pretend I don't exist. But, whatever you do, don’t make posts that call me out while making it obvious you’re talking about me, with the cover that you are advocating against fatphobia. That’s got a name. Cyber-bullying.

Have you hurt me with those posts? Yes you have, but I’ve never wanted bad blood. As you may have noticed, it wasn’t me that made a post. It was my good friend. Because I told her how exhausting it was and she knew about the posts back then.

I have a good idea of who you are.

I remember you.

But I kept my mouth shut. Because this community is my home and the last thing I wanted was for the people who like both of our types of content to feel like they have to choose sides.

In the end, we all rub one out to fat gay boys in a band. No user is better than the rest, and if there are topics you do not enjoy, there is a button for it. No need to drag everyone into it with posts. It’s exhausting and irritating.

Now, I do not accept your apology because you lied to me and I also do not feel like you meant it sincerely knowing what I know now after reading some dm’s. But I also won’t sit here and start shit.

This is my last post about this.

Please block me and enjoy the content you do like.

Nonetheless, I hope you have a nice day and a lovely weekend. Whatever you are experiencing or going through, I hope it gets better. Because even if you hate me personally for creating content you do not support, I’d say that I am a really friendly and nice person.

I do not believe that anyone deserves to be bullied like that and talked down in official posts. It happened before with a friend of mine and you probably remember that I did speak up about it.... But apparently no one learned from it. I really hope this time you do.

Insult me and shit talk me all you want in dm’s, but don’t do it publicly. No one deserves that kind of hate or passive aggressiveness. No one. Since you sound like someone that went through a lot of shit too, you should know better. You should know how it feels to be bullied and what damage it can cause.

I’m already depressed enough and I have bad lows. Let me write my erotica and just enjoy it? That’s all I want? I am a part of this community just like you were. You leaving because you did not like my content, is not my problem. If you cannot block me or ignore it and go so far as to read them and then rant about them negatively, what do you want me to do? I won’t leave the scene just because you don’t like me.

So, you either trash talk me in dm’s from now on so that I do not see it, or you block me. The latter of which would be the more mature thing to do. The more humane thing to do. Because talking behind someone’s back is just as bad.

Again, I don’t know why you felt like it was necessary to send me an ask with lies in it when I got screenshot proof of something else you have said/issues with, so don’t backpedal on me. I know Hun. I know already.

At least stick to what you said and actually apologize or, if you can’t, just block me.

But this ask? This ask just upset me.

Have a nice day.

p.s: The fact that this even needs to be talked about is so absurd and ridiculous to me. The whole thing is a petty party in my eyes that isn't even worth anyone's time? Do people on here really not have any other issues right now or am I in the wrong movie?

[olligreen]

No Bad Student | 6 -- You're Alright, LaRusso

{x}

Pairing: Lawrusso (Daniel x Johnny) Genre: Angst Warnings: None Word count: 2287 Summary: KK2 AU in which Johnny ends up living with Miyagi and Daniel for the summer. Inspired by nadianecromancer’s comic, but I’ll try to avoid making any scenes similar to the ones they already did! Notes: This was originally posted on Ao3 here.

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter (coming soon)

They both shared a sigh of relief, though Daniel’s was perhaps more desperate. Silence filled the room again and both were just as unwilling to venture a glance toward the other. The pause seemed endless. It was like they’d be stuck in this awkward limbo for the rest of their lives. Then, as if things couldn’t get worse, Johnny started laughing. At first a little stifled chuckle, then, as the bedframe came down gently on its new legs, it turned to an all-out fit.

The sound brought up sharp, sudden rage in Daniel, who looked on with a scowl. “What?! What’s so funny, huh?”

“I--... Sorry, I just--...” He stifled the last remaining mirth, catching his breath. “That was just so fucking weird, man.”

“What was weird about it?” Daniel said before he thought.

“Are you kidding me? That was weird as fuck. Like… I never thought I’d be that close to you without like… kicking your ass right after.”

“Right, like you could.” Daniel got away with the first word-vomit, but, from the way the mood shifted in that instant, he was sure he wouldn’t get away with this one.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, LaRusso?”

He decided to think a bit before he spoke this time. “Look, man, I just--”

“Don’t go backpedaling now, man. You think you could take me in a real fight, you’re dead wrong.” And just as quickly as they separated, Johnny stepped within a foot of Daniel, glaring down at him with deadly ire.

They weren't quite as close, but Daniel’s restless heart couldn’t tell the difference. He kept his gaze downward, avoiding Johnny; though, despite his efforts, Johnny's imposing figure took up much of his vision.

“You think you’re hot shit now that you won one fight? Nah, man. Just cause you have Ali doesn’t mean you can--”

“I don’t ‘have’ Ali.” He interrupted, some new rage burning in his words.

Johnny’s intimidation blunted, sending him back a few steps. “What?”

“We broke up a month ago.” His words were pointed but his expression was blank, as it was before. It was like he was confusing him on purpose.

“What’d you do?” Johnny responded without time for thought.

Daniel looked up with a scowl. “What the hell do you mean, ‘what did I do?’ Why’s it gotta be my fault?” Anger was a fine emotion to show him, apparently.

“‘Cause I know Ali, asshole. Now, what’d you do?”

“I didn’t do anything! She ran off with some football player from UCLA!”

There it was again, that laugh of his, like a cup of gasoline on an open flame.

“What?! What could possibly be funny about that!?”

Johnny replied firstly with a cruel grin, though there was something off about it. “Now you know what it’s like.” He said, softer than he should have.

Daniel turned away, his face flushing. “No! No, that’s not the same thing.”

“Oh yeah? How is it any different?”

“You hadn’t talked to her for weeks, man! You were done!”

“Two weeks.”

“She wanted nothing to do with--... What’d you say?”

Johnny’s words were spoken underneath Daniel’s -- quiet, solemn, same as before. “We were split up for two weeks, then you showed up.”

Daniel stopped at once, brown eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights.

“Y’know how long we were together?” He smirked, reveling in Daniel’s pain, but in his eyes, it was clear he wasn’t the only one hurting. “Two years.”

He was still too close. Anywhere in the room was too close. He stepped back, but couldn’t escape the horrible feeling bubbling up in his chest. He searched desperately for something he could throw back in his face, but how do you even respond to that? Eventually, he settled on the least volatile. “Oh,” he breathed out, eyes trained on the ground.

“Yeah, ‘oh.’” Johnny wandered over to take another defeated seat on his bedroll, though it felt more like a pyrrhic victory than a pure loss.

“Well, but--... But that doesn’t--”

“It doesn’t excuse what I did, I know.” He mumbled, absentmindedly twisting the cloth between his fingers. “But don’t you wanna go find that UCLA douche and kick the shit out of him?”

Daniel breathed a quiet laugh before he could stop it, erasing his smile as soon as he could manage. “Well, sure, but I’m not gonna. That’s not what Miyagi taught me.” He sat across from Johnny, legs crossed on the wooden floor.

Johnny’s eyes moved to the door momentarily. “What’d he teach you?”

“Karate’s for defense only.”

“Well, there ya go. I wasn’t taught that pussy shit.”

“It’s not ‘pussy shit,’ it’s real karate. Not like that garbage Kreese was teaching you.” Just as the words left his mouth, he thought back to the first time he brought up this same topic. He braced for impact.

But the impact never came. Johnny just sat on that bedroll, staring at the floorboards, solemn and silent.

Something about that hit Daniel harder than an angry outburst ever could. There was that image of him -- sitting on the curb, broken glass sparkling on the ground around him. It matched up perfectly. It wouldn’t leave his mind. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, just loud enough to break the silence.

Johnny’s eyes met his, puzzled. “For what?”

“I saw what happened with your sensei, I shouldn’t have mentioned him,” Daniel explained.

But the confusion didn’t cease. “Why do you care?” The words were spat out but were meant genuinely.

“Well ‘cause--...” Daniel started, then took a moment to consider his words carefully. “Mr. Miyagi says there’s no such thing as a bad student, just a bad teacher, right? So--... So I mean, you gettin’ all aggressive and acting like an--... Well, acting the way you did, that’s on him for how he taught you. Y’know what I mean?”

Johnny’s stare was unending as he tried to pick his words apart, his expression hopeful, then fearful, then ultimately clouded by rage. “And what about what you did, huh?”

“What? What’re you talkin’ about?”

“Sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, not leaving well-enough alone? I was gonna call my guys off before you pulled that shit at the Halloween party."

“Oh, come on, Johnny, you and your stupid biker gang were kicking my ass every other day. You weren’t gonna stop. What am I gonna do, just sit and take it?”

“Well yeah, maybe! I mean, you were asking for it. If you would’ve just left Ali alone--”

“What, and nobody’s supposed to date her ever again?”

“Two weeks, man!”

“Yeah, and you had to be the one to tell me that!”

“Did you even ask?”

“Of course I asked! She said ‘weeks,’ that’s it. If she had any intention of getting back together with you, she would’ve said so, Johnny, but she didn’t. She said ‘weeks.’”

The tension in the air only heightened as Johnny considered his words. His lip curled up in disgust, but his glare faltered, and he was left staring at the floorboards again.

“I tried, man. I tried to just talk to you. I tried to tell you that guy was bad news, but you wouldn’t have any of it.”

“You don’t understand, man. You don’t get how much you took from me.” Johnny growled, desperate to shut him up.

“Goddammit, Johnny, I didn’t take anything from you! You lost!” Daniel half-screamed, the energy of the phrase lifting him from his seat.

Johnny followed. “I lost one fight and now, what, I deserve to be miserable? Maybe you’re a lot more like my sensei than you think you are.”

“I’m not talking about the fight, Johnny, for fuck’s sake, can you consider something other than fighting for once?”

“And what else am I supposed to consider, huh?”

“You lost Ali! You did! I didn’t ‘steal’ her from you, she stopped talking to you because you stopped being a person she wanted to talk to.”

“You got no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“What, you think her snobby Encino friends ever stopped talking about how ‘great of a boyfriend’ you were? Do you know how many times I had to hear your name after that tournament was over? I probably know more about that breakup than you do!”

“Fuck you, man.”

“Fantastic argument there, Johnny, good one.”

“Well, what do you want me to say?! That I’m sorry?!”

“That’d be a start!”

“Well then, I’m sorry, alright?! God, of course I’m sorry! You think I feel good about beating the shit out of a person half my size? About lying to my mom about why my clothes were covered in your blood? You think I don’t hate myself just as much as you do?”

The room deafened. The adrenaline in each rival’s mind dissipated, giving way to fear, regret, and sadness. Then, as Daniel’s breaths became heavy, he noticed a glint in Johnny’s eyes that brought him both serenity and pain.

“I just--... I saw you with her. I saw how happy you were and--... and how happy you made her. And--…” His eyes widened to keep in the tears, focused forward, but still, they fell. “And I just thought… ‘I need to make him feel pain...’ God, that sounds awful when I say it out loud like that.”

His words still frightened Daniel, but not enough to prevent him from taking a few steps closer.

“What if--… LaRusso, what if your Sensei was wrong?” The rage was long dead. His eyes were wide, desperate, terrified. There was no less fear hidden in his icy blue gaze than there was in Daniel’s not a few hours before.

“About what?” Daniel said cautiously.

“What if it’s not Cobra Kai? What if it’s just me? What if I’m just a bad person? I mean, what if there’s something wrong with me?”

Daniel shook his head immediately, refusing such a thing without a second thought. Was it that he didn’t think Miyagi could be wrong, or that he saw hope in Johnny’s fearful expression? Maybe it was both. Or maybe it was that feeling, the one he couldn’t explain, pushing his breaths out faster, pulling his arm out to touch Johnny’s shoulder.

He looked at the hand, fear fading to confusion. “I--...” He started, but his mouth fell closed.

“It’s alright, Johnny,” Daniel said softly, then pulled him into a hug.

The warmth shocked him. It took a few seconds before his body relaxed, then his arms climbed across Daniel’s back, holding him the same way he was held.

“You’re not a bad person. Miyagi can help you, alright?” Daniel’s voice was muffled into Johnny’s chest.

“I’m--... I’m sorry.” Johnny repeated.

Finally, Daniel pulled away, keeping that same hand rested on his shoulder, maintaining all the warmth and comfort he could provide in a smile. “I got that part.”

Johnny laughed through his tears, a welcome sound, now.

“Now, you’re not planning on kicking my ass while I’m sleepin’, are ya?” Daniel said as his hand dropped, warm smile falling to a grin.

The grin was matched. “Depends,” he started, his voice still strained, “are you as much of a cocky little shit asleep as you are awake?”

Daniel laughed, audibly. Imagine that. Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence, smiling and laughing at the same time for once.

“I’m not gonna fuck with you anymore, man. I shouldn’t even be here. I won’t push my luck like that.”

“Why do you need to stay here tonight anyway?”

Johnny’s shoulders tightened, his fatigued smile falling, but not gone. “Got kicked out.” He regained his seat on the bedroll.

“Why? You do something?” Not a moment passed before Daniel plopped himself down in front of Johnny, leaning his back against the bedframe.

“Nah, my stepdad just wanted to get rid of me.” He said casually as if it were a joke. “Now you gotta deal with me instead.”

“So it’s not just gonna be tonight, huh?”

His smile dropped.

“Oh! Well, it’s not--... I’m not saying that’s a bad thing.”

“Nah, it’s alright. I get it. I’ll try to keep it as quick as possible.”

“Johnny, no, really, it’s fine. I’m not gonna--”

“Dude, you fucking hate me. I understand. You don’t need to pretend not to just ‘cause I cried like a bitch in front of you.”

“I’m not pretending. I really think Mr. Miyagi can help you.”

Slowly, that smirk of his returned. “You’re alright, LaRusso.”

Fear washed over Daniel for just a moment but was gone as soon as it came. He gave a warm smile back to him. “You said that before.”

“Oh yeah.” Johnny looked off, recollecting. “It was a fun fight, I’ll give you that.”

He hummed a laugh. “Glad to hear my terrified flailing was entertaining to you.”

“Nah man, that wasn’t flailing. You’re a good fighter.” Johnny fell back on the bedroll, blonde hair puffing up as he did. “Not as good as me, but pretty good.”

“Oho! Somebody need a reminder of who won that fight?” Daniel grinned.

Johnny chuckled lowly, his eyes fluttering closed. “Nah, man, I wasn’t prepared for your shit then. Rematch.”

“Oh, what, you think that’ll change anything?”

“Mhm.”

Daniel let a quiet laugh fill the lapse in conversation, then stood and began to pace. It was getting dark out, the last red-orange glow of the sun the only light in the room. It felt strange. It was like he was in a liminal space, or a dream: quiet, calm, but somewhat offputting. Still, a determination filled his spirit that wasn’t present before, at least not with a source like this. Finally, he decided. “Y’know what, you’re on.”

But by the time the challenge was accepted Johnny was taken by the coming night, curled up on the bedroll, silent and serene.

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter (coming soon)

[zhansww]

Hey, can I ask you something? Answer only if okay, but there's no umbrella term/room for ggdd's relationship in cfandom that can fit all those who believes in their love? I mean, from what I've seem (I don't have an weibo account), people seem to follow content from supertopics that are categorized by sexual dynamics... Which, as a queer person, makes me a little unconfortable, to be honest. I know eastern culture is very different from western, but sometimes it feels like their love is determined by a sexual nature, y'know? Not saying that everyone on weibo is there because of t/b preferences, but when something good happens and everyone is screaming about * szd, it sounds strange to me that we delimit ourselves by sexual dynamics, y'know? And in some extreme cases, even treat each other as enemies. Asking your thoughts because I'm not Chinese and this has been my experience whitin the fandom. Plus, I know you don't read fanfic and avoid assuming their sexuality/participating in t/b discourse.

I get what you mean. It makes me uncomfortable, too :/ I think it has to do with c fans, just not having rl queer people around. The only "knowledge" they have about queer relationships is from the BL novels they read - which I don't doubt, usually feature a couple with heteronormative roles in which the "girly" guy serves as the writers'/readers' self-insert. Explicit gay romance written by straight females for straight females... there's nothing inherently wrong there but when those who only consume such material apply the things they read on rl gay couples; that's when it becomes problematic. I don't think their ignorance justifies how they think of rl gay couples. If they have such strong opinions about queer couples, they should have informed opinions. What's worse is that a lot of c as well as international fans don't seem to be able to differentiate b/w the rpf and/or the made-up rumors they read vs reality. Which leads to them, being convinced that whichever dynamic they prefer reading about is actually real. I used to think that this stupid differentiation wouldn't affect me anyway precisely cuz I don't read rpf but truthfully, it isn't limited to t/b discourse but it's also about their dynamic as a couple in general. So basically, b.j.y.x fans constantly feel the need to emasculate gg cuz they think he is the ""wife"" in the relationship. And of course, they see no problem in doing that cuz they're all straight and have an obvious hetero dynamic in their own relationships so what's the big deal in assuming gay couples always have hetero dynamics, too (urgh). I have seen few zsww fans who referred to dd with female terms and I've never seen lsfy fans do anything like that. International fans who don't care about their dynamics, just use "yizhan" or "wangxiao" instead (both of those cp names were coined by ggdd themselves after all hehe). I've seen international fans who kind of passive-aggressively only use zsww cuz they're fed up with b.j.y.x stans which I find rather relatable. The seemingly vast majority of bxg consists of b.j.y.x stans and the way they view ggdd has everything to do with the characters they played in cql and little to do with ggdd themselves. They all seem to be in agreement that dd is an aggressive, possessive alpha and gg is his dependant waifu or some shit. Personally, I am so sick and tired of how b.j.y.x stans see or portray ggdd that I very much prefer zsww and lsfy fans. Like, it doesn't even have anything to do with the dynamics for me, I don't care about that; it's just the fans. Zsww and lsfy fans don't need to ignore or twist reality to fit their preference. Damn, this was a lot of rambling... this topic always gets me a little heated cuz it's so disrespectful. My men deserve better. To finally answer your question; as far as I know there is no umbrella term for c bxg who like all three dynamics or who don't care about that at all. From what I've seen, those who don't care about the different dynamics simply post in or share content from all three supertopics~

[aceofspadegrass]

Hey hey!

Can you like make a fic about the cast (plus Mira's actress Riisa)

On a field trip to the hot springs ♨️??

Like just them chilling and chatting telling jokes nd stuff...maybe a bit of chaos sprinkle in there while they are in their cars with their car buddies

And the chaos still continues in the hot springs-

Characters: Kento Yamazaki, Dori Sakurada, Nijiro Murakami, Nobuaki Kaneko, Keita Machida, Tsuchiya Tao, Riisa Naka

Genre: Fluff. Just a little trip to the sauna. :D

1.1k words

Aaaand I finally got around to it! Huzzah! It's not the best, but I sure did try. Sorry I didn't put Riisa in more. :D

The bus rolls up to the street, the doors opening up. Sakurada and Yamazaki both board, greeting the bus driver before taking their seats, the others all waving and greeting the two.

“ Hi Yamazaki!” His friend Tsuchiya greeted as he took a seat next to her. Yamazaki greets her back, smiling. The bus shuts its door as it chugs forwards once more, Tsuchiya watching the outside begin to pass by. “ I’m excited for today, aren’t you?”

“ It’s just a spa day, right?”

Tsuchiya nods. “ Yeah, but they’re going to feed us-“

Yamazaki gives a soft laugh, Tsuchiya giggling a little. “ You’re more excited about the food rather than the hot spring waters.”

Tsuchiya nods again, happily patting her lap. “ It’ll be a good afternoon spent after a nice bath~” She leans against the back of the chair, absolutely vibing. Yamazaki just continues to smile and moves his attention to watching the others chat amongst each other. Sakurada was sitting next to Murakami at the moment, just across the lane from Yamazaki, Murakami excitedly talking about the shirt he was wearing, Sakurada also rather invested in the shirt. Yamazaki had to lean forward a little bit to see the smattering of cats all over the shirt over random splotches of paint. It was incredibly pretty, so he could see why the two were happy to take about it.

Yamazaki turns his attention to the seat right behind Sakurada and Murakami to Nobuaki. The man just had a seat to himself, earbuds likely in his ears as he bopped his head to music with his eyes shut. Yamazaki couldn’t tell what kind of music it could be, possibly his own music, maybe just some other music choices.

Maybe Barbie Girl. It was his life after all, and sometimes life requires a little silly song just because.

Yamazaki waves to Nobuaki anyways, even though it was likely the older gentleman didn’t even notice him waving back. It didn’t matter, he didn’t want to pull him out of his musical bop.

“ There’s just one more stop before we head to the hot springs.” Tsuchiya says, pulling her friend’s attention back to her. “ I hear we’re picking up Naka!”

“ Oh, really? She’s free today?” Tsuchiya nods excitedly. “ Yeah. They thought that we deserved more girls at the place, so….. We got Naka!”

“ Sounds great! How much longer though until we get to her?”

Tsuchiya goes silent, thinking. At that moment, a voice pipes up from behind them. “ It’ll be another 20 minutes to her, then an hour or so until we get to the spa.”

Yamazaki raises his head to look behind him with a grin, Machida waving with a grin. “ Hey!”

“ Hi Machida!”

“ How have you been?” Machida questioned, Yamazaki giving a nod and a thumbs up. “ That’d great! You look healthy.”

“ Thank you, you too!”

Machida’s smile somehow widens even further, Yamazaki sitting down and vibing as he listened to the others chat around him. Occasionally there was a a laugh somewhere in the bus, likely from a funny joke or quote. Tsuchiya didn’t let Yamazaki down with conversation either, the two getting into a light chat about funny dog videos the other has seen.

Well, the conversation spread to Sakurada, who got into it with Murakami, which led to the entire bus getting into a massive conversation about cute dogs. Yamazaki couldn’t help but laugh at how animated everyone got about dogs, some conversation slipping about the pet dogs a few of them owned.

The conversation lasted so long and deeply that they didn’t notice the bus stop, and the bus door his open until a new voice chimes in, everyone’s eyes shooting to the where the door was.

“ Man, am I missing all the fun? And about dogs no less?”

“ Oh, hello Naka!” Nobuaki chirps, waving from his seat. Naka smiles and waves back, walking down the aisle as Nobuaki scooted over so she could have a seat. The other were quick to greet her as well, and just as easily they went back into their conversation about dogs as if she had been there all along. There was laughter as the topic shifted into animals in general, then somehow into what everyone had been up to, each other having a turn to share. Nobody really had anything not to share, even if it was something minimal, the rest willing to somehow stretch it out to a few minutes of conversation.

The time passed by rather quickly, and at some point they ended up playing hand games as the bus chugged onwards to the hot springs as the sun slowly went downwards. At the moment it was a giant game where they went around the bus circle to try to remove everyone else’s fingers through aggressive rock scissors paper.

In the end, Tsuchiya wins, the girl cheering in her seat, Yamazaki clapping for her even though he had to face a bitter loss.

“ Good game! And would you look at that!” Riisa points out the window as the bus pulls into the lot. “ We’re here!”

The bus opens, and everyone files out, heading to the building with excited energy in the air. The staff greets them, and they all head out to their changing rooms so they could have a nice night in the spa areas.

It was truly nice, of course, Yamazaki sinking into the heated waters the moment he was able to, letting out a sigh of relief. The others apparently felt the same, all letting out their stresses.

Nobody talks for a few minutes, basking in the warmth of the water. Yamazaki shuts his eyes and takes a breath of the fog that enveloped the place, quiet chatter occurring between the older men. Nobuaki lets out a chuckle as he started going on about how he accidentally threw a drumstick under a chair and couldn’t find it for ages, although Yamazaki barely takes notice of the actual words as his body slips him into a pure bliss state of zero thought.

The next thing he knows, there is warm water poured over his neck and chest, and he shoots up a little in surprise, Murakami chuckling as Yamazaki opens his eyes and looks at the man, who was standing still waist deep in the spring.

“ Come on, it’s dinner time!” Murakami says, setting the cup down and carefully striding over to the edge, hoisting himself out and grabbing a towel to wrap his waist in as he made his way out. Yamazaki was quick to follow after, and soon they were back in the dressing rooms, outfits prepared for them already. They all get dressed and head to the large room where they would be given their food, all prepaid for them.

Yamazaki takes a seat by Sakurada and Murakami, everyone else still somewhere in post spa happiness. Not even a minute later their food gets brought out to them, everyone thanking for the meal before digging in.

[transmascdeanwinchester]

You got any trans man dean headcanons? 👀

I don’t know when u sent this so sorry if I’m answering late!!!

Also I just have the basic bitch set of trans dean headcanons tbh but they make me go feral so I will repeat them!!

- lazurus rising when cas brought dean back he put him in the body he’s always deserved (the mirror scene lives in my head rent free baby!)

- teenage dean stealing testosterone from hospitals and pharmacies when he had the chance bc they moved around too much for him to have a stable prescription pickup plan

- John being pissed for awhile that dean’s not his “perfect little girl” like he thought but getting over it bc dean is so determined to emulate him to prove his masculinity that it just makes him a better more fierce hunter and protector so John gets over it in like a year (Dean’s always been Like That anyway,,, in the grand scheme of things it’s less Distracting to have this small ongoing conflict that John just calls him Dean and does the passive aggressive “you wanna be a man? Act like it.” bullshit you know how it goes)

- Dean knowing he’s not a girl from a young age (like probably about 6) and teaches Sam to call him Dean and that he’s his brother from the time sammy can talk (Sam doesn’t learn Dean’s name is legally Deanna until he’s starting middle school)

- Dean binding in his teens by wearing those tank tops that are like skin tight but also stretchy material? With the built in bra part? he wears two of those under all the Normal Winchester layers and it gives him the flat chest (what isn’t flattened completely gets lost under his dad’s leather jacket he wears to school every day)

- it goes without saying but Dean, age 7, cut his hair for the first time in a shitty hotel bathroom mirror by trying to copy a dude in a shaving ad in a magazine (John didn’t even notice for three days)

- Dean gets top surgery after sam goes to Stanford when he’s supposed to be on a solo hunt (he tells John he’s hunting something but really he’s recovering at Bobby’s)

- Bobby, we are not surprised, is a good father figure and shut that shit down when dean explains that he’s just gonna hole up in a motel once he gets his surgery (“Boy, do you know how fucking dirty motel linens are? I am NOT letting you die from an infection and most certainly not leaving you Alone for months defenseless”)

- Dean using makeup to make his jawline a little sharper and more square even tho the iffy food situation growing up made sure he barely has any roundness to his face to begin with

- on the flip side dean playing up his fem features to use as a distraction when he hustles pool

- dean training his voice by trying to copy the sound of his favorite singers voices (and John since he hears his voice most consistently)

- dean knocking the shit out of transphobes (the comments don’t even have to be directed at him, he hears them and it’s ON SIGHT no question)

- dean acting like a womanizer bc that’s what Men Do and it’s all just literally part of his carefully constructed hyper masculine image bc it’s so so difficult to pick up anyone when what’s under theclothes don’t match what can be seen on the surface (Cassie is the first person he sleeps with and he’s so terrified but she doesn’t care holy shit she doesn’t care?)

- Dean chooses to keep his name close to his birth name bc that’s the name his mother gave him and he doesn’t want to disrespect her by completely changing it

- On the topic of dean’s hyper masculine image he constructs it from a mix of John and from the action movies he studies religiously when he has the chance (this is what boys like this is what every man dreams of being I have to like this too-) even tho he has enough action and violence in his actual life thanks,

- Dean not being big on faith because he can’t imagine some higher power choosing to make him be born in the wrong body and make him work so hard to fix it himself like life wasn’t hard Enough

- Dean being so immensely pleased when word gets around the monster worlds about the Winchester Brothers,,, the validity of your reputation being cemented in the way you’ve carefully crafted it to be

- Dean rationalizing that it’s okay for him to spend time and energy on making sure he’s presenting masc and getting the body language and mannerisms down because it helps him be better at his jobs as protector of his family and as a hunter (men are thought of as stronger/scarier, men are taken more seriously when interviewing locals/victim’s families, more authority is afforded to men)

- dean almost shooting a man in a bar bathroom when he’s fourteen and just needed to deal with shark week stuff real quickly but this drunk decided a “teenage girlie only has one use in a men’s bathroom” but dean just knocks him out and sprints back to the motel (dean doesn’t use public bathrooms after that if he can help it)

- dean not knowing the word transgender until he finds it in a library book while he’s supposed to be researching but really he’d heard the slur and needed to be clear on why it made him feel so icky so he was looking it up in the dictionary and he’s like Oh that’s Me

- Bobby doesn’t actually meet Sam and Dean until after Dean’s cut his hair for the first time and Sammy can only say half words (most Dee, which is good enough for Dean) so one of Dean’s first impressions of Bobby is him asking John “didn’t you have a daughter?” and John just giving a tired sigh because he’s too busy with the hunt he’s here for to try and get into it but Dean butts in with “No, he’s always had two boys, I’m Dean and this is Sammy” and Bobby doesn’t comment on this little high pitched voice or question it much because he’s babysitting this kid for the next two weeks and he doesn’t want it to be a hostile two weeks (and it never becomes a problem because by the end of week one Bobby never even entertains the idea that Dean isn’t a little boy)

- After Dean gets back from Hell literally the only thing that trips Sam and Bobby up (aside from that he just resurrected lmao) is that his shoulders are more squared and he’s just built more like he should be (see previous point about cas rebuilding him as he should’ve been!)

- Dean never having much money but he still donates to queer charities when he can (makes a point of it in June especially)

- Dean hangs a trans flag in his room at the bunker (and one in the dean cave too)

- The insane validation Dean feels at being called The Rifhteous Man (also the fact that Heaven Knew he was a man all along but didn’t lift a finger to make that any easier to show the rest of the world adds to dean’s general hatred towards them tho)

That’s all I can think of right now but just!! Trans Dean!!!!

Thank u for asking friend!!!

(@bowie-boy I am tagging u bc idk if u will see this post so hope that’s okay!!!)

[dionnaea]

next on me spamming: my third ask this day. here’s my request (please feel free to ignore or decline this!! i don’t wanna make you uncomfortable babes!!) could i ask for an annie leonhart (attack on titan) x fem!reader? any specifics is up to you, but i just don’t see any annie content! tysm! sjsjjsjsjs

To Live | Annie x Fem!Reader

pairing: annie leonhart x fem!reader

warnings: little bit of angst, little bit of fluff

wc: 1.9k

a/n: i am so glad you requested this! annie deserves so much more love. sorry i took so long to post it, university has just started back for me, so i’m still getting into the groove of things. hope you enjoy, and thanks for the request! xx

attack on titan masterlist  |  general masterlist

It wasn’t cliche. It wasn’t love at first sight through rose-colored glasses. Her heart didn’t skip a beat whenever she saw you, and there definitely weren’t any butterflies fluttering in her stomach. But there was still…

Something.

Something that made her cheeks heat up a little when she caught you looking at her. Something that made her toes curl just the slightest bit when she saw you strip off your shirt after a long day of training. Something that made her breath hitch in her throat every time you gave her that sly smile right before pushing her out of her comfort zone in one way or another. There was always something with you. 

It wasn’t love, but Annie wondered if maybe it could be. 

With that thought swirling around in her head, she looked at you from across the table. For some reason unbeknownst to the blond, you had chosen to sit with her tonight, selecting your spot and placing your tray down without hesitation. She wondered how you were able to do that, to so easily decide what you wanted and go for it. She wondered what it felt like to have the freedom that you so obviously possessed, emotionally and physically. 

Silently, she watched as your fingers tapped out a melody onto the wooden table. It was somewhat erratic, and Annie couldn’t tell if you didn’t know the song that well or if you were just making it up as you went along. No matter, she liked seeing your slender fingers move up and down, all soft skin and nicely trimmed nails. Even your hands were pretty, she thought. 

So focused on your movements, she barely noticed when you spoke up and the tapping stopped. 

“Huh?” Her response came out slightly aggressive, and Annie worried that you might take it the wrong way. When she looked up at you, though, you seemed far away, your chin resting in your palm. 

“Do you think we’ll ever win?” You repeated. Your eyes were staring past the other girl, seeing something in the distance that others couldn’t. “Against the Titans?”

Annie’s eyes widened a fraction of an inch. Seemingly, it was a simple question, a question that Annie knew the answer to. Still, she couldn’t lie to you, instead choosing to answer in the only other way she knew how.

“Not with your uppercut, we can’t.”

You frowned, finally bringing your eyes to meet the icy blues in front of you. You had just sparred with Annie earlier in the day, and she had taken you down more than easily. It was a blow to your confidence, and her comment hurt your feelings a bit. No matter, your inner voice reminded you that that was just how Annie spoke, especially when something was a sensitive topic. You wondered what had bothered her about your question. Taking a deep breath, you debated quipping back, but ultimately decided you were too tired, too burnt out from existing, and all that left your mouth was a quiet hum to acknowledge that you heard her. 

Taking a moment to collect yourself, you looked back down at the table, your eyes tracing the lines in the wood. After a moment, exhaustion overtook you, and you decided you wanted to sleep. Standing up, you lifted your tray and sidled out from the bench, turning away. Just as you were about to leave, Annie’s voice rang through the air.

“You know, you’re more powerful than you think.” Annie’s heart was pounding in her chest as she let the words loose. She couldn’t help but wonder if she would regret her next words, if she’d want to grab them from the air and stuff them right back down her throat until she choked on them. “One person can change a lot.” 

You paused, the tray weighing heavily in your hands. Your back was towards the other girl, but you could feel her eyes piercing into you. With a whisper, you replied, “Thanks.” 

Annie knew very well that you weren’t the strongest cadet, but that in itself wasn’t the issue. The issue was that she also knew all you wanted was to be on the frontlines. You craved the ability to make a difference, whether that be by braiding Sasha’s hair so that it would stay out of the way during training or offering to ride on the very outskirts of the formation, which happened to be exactly what you had done. Thankfully, that offer was quickly refused, stating your newbie status as an automatic disqualification. Annie was able to breathe again when the word ‘no’ was finally spoken by your squad’s superior. Despite this, the disappointed frown on your face was enough for a part of Annie to wish the answer had been ‘yes.’

With a disheartened sigh, you flopped down to sit on the ground of the training area. Annie looked down at you with an unreadable expression, arms crossed. “What’s with you?” She questioned. 

“Hmm?” You gazed up at her, bringing a hand to your forehead and squinting against the harsh sunlight until she took a step to the right to block it from your eyes. You removed your hand, a plum of dirt rising up as you carelessly smacked the ground. 

“Why are you so eager to be Titan food?” She narrowed her eyes, and you swore you heard a bit of anger in her normally neutral voice. “Do you want to die?” She towered over you with daggers of ice in her eyes, and you fought the urge to cower under her harsh stare. 

“No. I just…” You laid back fully as you thought of how to phrase your words. You stared at the sky for a moment before shifting to make eye contact with Annie. “You know that dream that Armin has? About seeing the sea? I don’t share it.” If you had looked a little more closely, you would’ve seen the surprise that marred Annie’s face. Your gaze moved back to the sky, and you lifted a hand to reach towards a trio of birds flying towards the wall. “Everyone here is obsessed with crossing the walls, but I… I don’t mind living in confinement. I’m happy here. I have people like you here.” 

Annie’s chest tightened. You clenched your fist, the birds seemingly trapped inside. A second later, they were free again, flying towards their destination, your fist still hanging in the air. As you exhaled a quiet breath, you dropped your hand back to the ground, spreading your palm to feel the rough dirt underneath it. It was surprisingly cold, contrasting with the heat of the sun, and you hated how it started to warm when you placed your hand over it. 

“I just wanna be safe, you know? I wanna be able to lie on the ground and close my eyes and not have to worry about a Titan invasion happening at any second.” Carefully, you reached up, enveloping Annie’s hand with your own, and pulled her down to lie beside you. She was less hesitant than you thought she might be, seemingly not worried about the dirt coloring her hair brown. Still, there was uncertainty in her eyes as she glanced over at you, but you gave her a soft smile in hopes of easing her nerves. To your pleasant surprise, she let her hand stay in yours, hers a little sweaty from what you assumed was the overbearing heat and yours covered in a fine layer of dirt. Annie wondered if the two of you would create mud if you held hands long enough, and so she decided to keep her hand grasping yours just to see what would happen. 

You went back to facing the sky, but this time, your eyes were closed. Annie watched you silently, matching her breaths with the rise and fall of your chest. They were slow and even, and Annie’s heart rate began to slow, too, finally beating in time with yours. If the blond girl could have frozen this moment, she would have, but instead, she tried her hardest to ingrain the view of your profile into her memories. You could feel her staring at you, desperately fighting the urge to let heat flood your cheeks.

“Annie,” you whispered, “Close your eyes.” It was silent for a moment, but then you heard the telltale sounds of her head shifting, turning to face upwards. You let yourself fully relax, focusing on the feeling of the wind brushing against your eyelashes and the sun bearing down on your skin. This was peace, you thought, to lie here with Annie and do absolutely nothing. You brushed your thumb over Annie’s fingers. “Isn’t this nice? Just being able to live?” You sighed, and finally answered her original question. “I don’t want to die,” you stated. “But I do want to be able to live, and the only way to do that is to remove the threat that hangs so heavily over all of us.” 

At this moment, Annie realized something: you weren’t free either. She had been so envious of you, thinking you held the freedom she craved when in actuality, you were just as trapped as she was. Her chest tightened from the guilt. She was the reason you weren’t able to live. She was the reason you were riding towards your death. She had taken away the one thing you wanted from this world. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she thanked God that your eyes weren’t open. Squeezing her eyes shut a little more, your voice floated into her ears. 

“I want to be able to live like this forever.” You tightened your grasp on her hand. “Don’t you?” 

It took a moment for Annie to build up the courage to let the words leave her mouth, and you patiently waited for her response. 

“Yeah.” The words came out slightly choked, but they were there, and a weight you didn’t know you were carrying was lifted off of your chest. Her next words took you by surprise. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. 

Your eyebrows furrowed, but you kept your eyes closed, not wanting to invade on Annie’s moment of vulnerability. “Why?” You asked. It was a simple question, but Annie didn’t know exactly how to answer. 

Finally, she found the words. “That you can’t live how you want to. I… I understand the feeling.” Her voice was more solid now, but you could still pick up on the emotion that laced it. 

You took a deep breath, opening your eyes and blinking as they adjusted to the sunlight. You sat up slowly, turning to look at Annie who was gazing up at you with wide, blue eyes. You had never seen her look so… fragile. She reminded you of an angel, all ivory skin and blond hair contrasting against the hard, dirty ground. She didn’t belong to the earth like you did, and it had never been more obvious. Still, she had laid down with you, sacrificing her purity to see things from where you gazed. 

You gave her a melancholic smile. “It’s alright. I still have hope for the future.” Annie took a sharp breath in. She hadn’t destroyed everything for you yet, and she let that fact sink in. To her discontent, you released Annie’s hand, brushing the sweat and dirt off onto your pants. You stood up, Annie remaining on the ground, frozen as you spoke your next words. 

“Tomorrow will be different. 57th Exterior Scouting Mission, here we come!”

[sub-hoshi-enthusiast]

Ahhhhh please please please can you do Pentagon’s reaction to rimming?? Your MX one DESTROYED me in all the best ways, and as little sub content as there is for MX, there’s even less for PTG :(

I know :(( I love my babies so much and they deserve so much love!

Pentagon's Reaction to Rimming

Jinho

He gets excited the moment you bring it up, probably pulling you close to immediately get started. He wouldn't mind moving it out of the bedroom either (as I mentioned in the pegging pentagon post, he would love to be bent over and fucked against any surface). For some reason I can't get the image of you rimming him while he's bent over the countertop out of my head. His feet barely touching the floor and his cheek pressing into the cold surface of the counter, all while you have his arms pinned behind his back to leave him completely at your mercy. He wouldn't be able to to anything but moan and beg for more as you aggressively fuck him with your tongue, your hand that wasn't holding his wrists would be alternating between squeezing and slapping his ass. 

      I don't know what it is about Jinho that just makes me want to absolutely destroy him, but I just do. (Another nice thought would be Jinho sitting on your face because again, he would look absolutely gorgeous above you)

Hui

I feel like this sort of thing would actually happen in a spur of the moment kind of way, ya know? Like, you would be getting ready to peg him again (something that had become an almost regular occurrence by now). He would be on his knees and forearms, letting out quiet whimpers as you left open mouthed kisses down his back, teasing him by massaging his ass with your hands. You would notice how his whimpers get higher in pitch the closer your mouth gets to his ass, making you curiously leave a quick peck between his cheeks. He'd gasp but slowly ease back into you with a quiet moan as you lick a harsh stripe over his hole. He'd bury his face in his arms out of embarrassment, muttering a small 'please' while arching his back. How could you possibly say no to that?

     His moans and whimpers would sound so beautiful, even though most of them were muffled by his arms or a pillow, but he would never turn you down if you asked him to do it again sometime.

Hongseok

Surprise surprise, he'll be a brat the entire time. He enjoys the feeling of your tongue fucking him, more than he would actually like to admit, but he'll be complaining the entire time. He had given up pretending that he didn't like being pegged a long time ago (after you had threatened to never do it again since he hated it so much) and it's all he can think about while you're rimming him. He'll claim that your tongue wasn't enough and demanding you to get your strap. This leads to you edging him over and over again in hopes that he will learn to shut up.  When that doesn't work, you grab a ball gag to quiet his insufferable complaints.

     In the end, you ignore all of his complaints and make him cum all over himself. You tease him repeatedly afterwards, saying things like 'I thought you said it wasn't enough?' 'Look at the mess you made baby, are you sure my tongue isn't enough for you?'. He'd try to act like it doesn't phase him but the bright red of his ears tells you otherwise.

Shinwon

My god, he is so loud. By that, I don't just mean his moans. Once you had started rimming him, he would not shut up. He was a little flustered by the situation, so he ends up rambling about an array of different topics to fill the silence. You noticed that he had been talking because of how tense he was, so you made the decision to bring out the gag so he would instead focus on the pleasure you're giving him. Thankfully it works, and he ends up moaning loudly (well, as loud as he can with a gag in his mouth anyway) with his hands tangled in your hair and thighs shaking on either side of your head. Once he's finished he'll be asking how soon you could do this again.

     Once you manage to take his mind off the nerves he feels and make him really take in the pleasure you're giving him, he'll start to wonder why you hadn't thought of asking him before.

Yeo One

Ever since you first pegged Changgu, he had been trying to find more and more things to try out and explore his more submissive side. He'd most likely be scrolling through PornHub or something when he sees it, eyes lighting up in interest when he goes to look up more about it. He would excitedly suggest it the next time you had him pinned beneath you, practically begging you for it. He was not disappointed once you had started. His knuckles would be white from how hard he would be gripping the headboard, eyes rolling back into his head as his hips were trying to grind back into your face as much as he could. He found that he liked it much better when you were rough, nails digging into his thighs to stop him from squeezing them around your head and making sure to leave bruises all over the lower half of his body.

     After that night, it was much easier to get Changgu in the mood. All you would have to do was place your hand anywhere on his thigh or lower back, making him reminisce the feeling of your tongue abusing his hole as your hands left scars wherever they touched (he would even get turned on when you didn't want him to so good luck with that).

Yanan

While Yanan doesn't have much experience with this sort of thing, he's young and has a pretty high sex drive. Sometimes when you aren't there or he doesn't want to bother you, he may or may not watch porn to help him a little bit. On one of these particular nights, he had come across a video called 'Mommy Rimming Baby Boy'. His curiosity got the better of him and he ended up clicking on it. Long story short, you came home to see Yanan helplessly rutting into the sheets while thrusting his fingers inside himself. Once you saw what he was watching, you didn't hesitate to help him with his problem.

     He gets very loud when you rim him and will probably be begging you to keep going even after he's already cum (which he will most definitely do without having his dick touched).

Yuto

To say he was caught off guard by your suggestion was an understatement. Normally he's very confident, but when he had finally agreed to let you rim him he was extremely flustered. He was so embarrassed, in fact, that he refused to let you take off the shirt he was wearing, claiming that he would feel too vulnerable and exposed (not that you hadn't seen him naked before (obviously), it would just be too much embarrassment for one night). He refused to look at you as you leaned down to kiss at his hole, making him gasp as he clenched around nothing. He managed to stay relatively quiet, save for a few whimpers or whines as he gripped the bedsheets for dear life. The second he made eye contact with you, however, the floodgates opened as his mind melted from the overwhelming pleasure he was receiving. 

     You were going to tease him for it after you finished, but felt your heart drop as you realized he had accidentally slipped into subspace (a very rare occurrence). He wouldn't be as embarrassed the next time you do it so you should prepare for extra bratty Yuto.

Kino

I can't be the only one that wants Kino to sit on my face, right? His thighs tensing on either side of your head as you aggressively fuck him with your tongue. He'd be desperately gripping your thighs as loud moans left his lips. You would probably have to hold him by his hips to keep him in place, otherwise he would be squirming too much for you to rim him properly. If you even think about moving away from him before he cums, he'll probably reach behind him to grab your hair and tug you back to where you were. This would absolutely lead him to a punishment later but you just decide to go with it for now, relishing in the sweet sounds he lets out.

     Kino absolutely loves anything to do with you touching his ass; pegging, rimming, fingering, spanking, and anything else you could think of (though you might want to be a little careful with spanking because the man is very sensitive) so rimming quickly becomes one of his favorites.

Wooseok

You know this big baby will get excited the moment you bring this up. You'll really only end up doing this when you're prepping him to peg him but he still loves when you do it. It's just that whenever he feels your tongue thrusting into him, he feels the need to be filled with something bigger. After a few minutes of you rimming him, he'll start begging you to fuck him into the mattress. Of course, you would never say no to your precious baby when he asks so nicely like that, so you comply.

     He really does let out the sweetest noises when you're rimming him though. Low whimpers and whines between his mantras of 'yes' and 'please'.

[makeste]

Hey, I'm that rude anon. I'm glad my rudeness didn't faze you and I'm sorry. QL Bakugou and Dead Bakugou are highly suportert by Bakugou haters on multifandom forums and subreddits, and knowing how they will celebrate makes it impossible to enjoy any discussion around the topics. On the separate note, you are really a lucky one to make it into fandom when hate for bkdk mellowed down, if my ask was the rudest you've got to this day xD

don’t worry about it anon, I’ve got a thick skin. but nonetheless, I appreciate it!

honestly, sometimes I almost feel like I’m living in an alternate universe as far as the BnHA fandom goes lol. pretty much all of my interactions with other fans on tumblr have been pleasant. and I’ve also been fortunate because as you said, I happened to come into the fandom at a good time. I started reading the manga right around when season 3 was winding down, so by the time I caught up, Kacchan VS Deku Part 2 had aired, which put me in a position I can’t ever recall being in before as far as fandom goes. because the thing is, that fight, and the resulting character development, was everything I wanted out of that character relationship, and it was already canon. and so ever since then it’s kind of been like, nothing this fandom puts out can ever hurt me lol. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my aggressive murder hornet son and his phenomenal character development.

anyway, fwiw anon I will say that fandom is much more enjoyable if you can manage to shrug off the negative parts of it. not saying that’s always easy to do, but for my part, at the end of the day I have no control over what other people think of the story or the characters or the ships, and I don’t want anyone else to have any negative influence over what I enjoy. and ultimately, if other people think that something I ship is problematic, that really has no bearing on me. if other people think the characters I love deserve to suffer and die, that has no bearing at all on me. that’s between them and the manga. and all in all it makes for a much more pleasant experience when you’re not worrying about how Fandom At Large is going to react to a particular manga development, and can just sit back and enjoy it for what it is.

so yeah, that’s basically the philosophy I have when I’m sitting here writing posts about my various clown theories lol. I don’t care about the Political Implications of something like quirkless!Bakugou or time traveling!Bakugou (dead!Bakugou is not allowed to happen though lol). if it makes haters happy then good for them, I guess. some of them were happy about Bakugou getting stabbed, too, but I literally COULD NOT CARE LESS, because that was like my favorite thing to happen in this manga EVER, or at least my favorite thing since the chapter right before that one lmao. I’M SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY BELIGERENT TRASH PANDA SON AND HIS SPECTACULAR, UNPARALLELED, AAA FIVE-STAR CHARACTER FUCKING DEVELOPMENT. period, exclamation point, lol.

[pigeontheoneandonly]

WIP Whenever

I haven’t done one of these in awhile, and I’ve been tagged a number of times over the past few months.  Thanks to everyone who did and sorry the notifications are so old I can’t find them!

Tagging a bunch of people, because there’s nobody with the power to stop me: @bardofheartdive, @theoriginalladya, @midnightswaltz, @wickedwitchofthewilds, @thexgrayxlady, @laurelsofhighever, @dr-ladybird, @ljandersen, @cdrkateshepard, @citadelsushi, @awhellstothejoe, @swaps55, @pip-n-flinx, @mallaidhsomo, @natsora, @pushingsian, and anyone else-- seriously, I would love to read anything you’ve been working on. :)

Have some Nathaly/Kaidan shenko fluff:

It was hardly a surprise that when Kaidan woke up, Nathaly wasn’t there.  She had a preternatural lack of need for sleep and loved the very early morning. 

But he missed her. And he hated that he missed her this easily; he’d spent more time with her in the past day than he had in the past two years, and somehow that only made waking up alone feel worse.  And he felt like he shouldn’t anymore.  By any reckoning, she no longer deserved that from him.

Still.

Alenko rose with a stretch and yawn, and padded into the larger of the two rooms they’d barricaded from the geth, searching for Nathaly.

Early morning sunshine through the window bank bathed the floor in pink light.  Nothing on Aite should be so picturesque.  Yet here was a perfect morning, golden, cloudless, glorious, completely unmarred by the horrors Cerberus wrought. 

And there in the middle of it stood Nathaly, in a t-shirt and men’s running shorts.

She hadn’t noticed him.  Her body moved in a methodic pattern, steps, kicks, and punches made fluid by steady practice.  Her every line shifted with an easy grace as she pivoted, muscles growing taut out of her long limbs and relaxing back into softer flanks, lost in the rhythm.

It had always been a joy to watch her move.  Nathaly lived at peak physical condition and possessed an internal harmony with her body that married her will to her movements in complete synchronicity.  The result was nothing short of beautiful.  She was beautiful.

Alenko folded his arms and leaned against the doorway. He couldn’t bear to interrupt.

A few minutes passed until she returned to where she started, let out a slow breath, and caught sight of him out of the corner of her eye.  She blinked like coming out of trance.  “Hey.”

“I came looking for you,” he said.  It sounded completely inadequate to what he wanted to say. “Was that taekwondo?”

“I think?” She shrugged.  The shirt bore a ragged spectre program logo and the slogan Spectre Strong in aggressive lettering.  She picked them up in tourist shops; she thought they were hilarious.  Quite the collection had gone down with the Normandy.  “My parents put me into so many things as a kid, they all kind of run together.”

“I don’t remember you ever doing this in ’83.” Granted, he hadn’t often been up this early.

She shrugged, glancing off and rubbing her neck.  Muttering.  “It’s easier to clear my mind when I’m moving.”

Samara spoke from the floor, where she sat cross-legged.  She didn’t so much as turn her head.  “Learning to be still in mind and body is important, but for a beginner, especially one so physically inclined, such an exercise can be quite conducive to meditation.”

His turn to blink.  She might as well have suggested Nathaly had taken up polka dancing. “Meditation?”

Nathaly bit her lip.  “Yeah.  Evidently it can be very helpful with anger management.”  Then she looked at him directly.  Nervous, but not defensive.  “I meant it when I said I wanted to change.”

He had no idea what to say to that.  It wasn’t that he hadn’t believed her, exactly. More that he assumed she had no grasp of why she’d lashed out, and he had no faith any promise she made to him on an issue involving her temper was likely to hold.

“Shepard has been diligent in practicing each morning,” said Samara, with a note of approval.  “She has proven an excellent student.”

If anything, Nathaly only looked more embarrassed. “Yeah, anyway, I’m just surprised I remembered the forms after all this time.  Muscle memory is nuts.”

He decided not to push it.  He still felt like he needed some time to sit with this revelation himself, though it did make him feel warm.  Loved, even.  And he really didn’t know what to make of that.  “What other kinds of stuff did you do?  As a kid, I mean.” 

“Oh, absolutely everything.”  She was just as relieved to move off more serious topics. “Looking up available programs was practically the first thing they did at any new post.  I’d be bouncing off the walls otherwise.  There were martial arts of various kinds, soccer, gymnastics, an outdoor survival course, ballet, touch football at that one colony with only a dozen kids and that one overly-invested dad—”

“Ballet.”  His eyebrows rose into his hair.

“Oh, I was terrible.  Good enough at the positions and such, but no sense for the music.”  She cocked her head.  “You don’t believe me.”

He’d seen her dance.  “It is a little hard to picture.”

She made a pfft sound, and turned her foot out, one hand touching the window for balance.  He watched, eyes growing larger and larger as she arced her arm and lifted her leg with great deliberation, pausing briefly at her knee, and then raised it upward, until it was near vertical beside her head and his eyes were nearly falling out of their sockets.  Nathaly winced as it reached full extension— out of practice, or the Cerberus modifications still wearing on her— and looked him dead in the eyes.  “Go ahead, call me a liar.”

He found he couldn’t do more than stare.  A sly grin spread across her mouth. “You’re picturing both legs up by my head, aren’t you.”

A faint blush grew hot on his face.  It was impossible to look away.  She snickered.

“Shepard,” Samara chided.

“Fine.”  She sighed, put her leg down— to Alenko’s eternal disappointment— and began another form.