#this post is not related to anything particular really just something stuck on my mind

[whyyoualwayssoradical]

idk if this will make sense, then again i might just be restating the obvious

i feel like male socialization is designed to disconnect males from empathy and their sense of humanity

like it's basically the beatings will continue until you no longer see girls/women as human is what male socialization does and is meant to do hence creating an entirely self-fulfilling cycle of male socialization that is incredibly difficult to break. the male class wars within itself to maintain patriarchy and i think the socialization cycle is one of the biggest parts to maintaining it.

i wish men were not the way they are but that is unfortunately not the reality we live in.

all the bad awful things feminists say about men are not only true, but true ten fold if not more

[turbo-tsundere]

Content warning for gore, blood, burns & body horror.

A king with no crown and a holy fool.

(The element of venom/poison, stabbing/puncture wounds and destruction of a whole body is present in both of their deaths. Kokichi's pristine white clothes also end up being shoved down the toilet, and the poison made it difficult for him to breathe, so there's plausible callback to Miu also. Karma at its finest?)

If I could be the devil, you could be the sinner.

(Don't mind them, they're just spilling their guts)

(...)

(Concepts for scenes from a Gonta-centric survival horror game I'll never make. But it was fun to daydream about - maybe one day I'll finish other sketches and doodles relating to it into a more presentable state. The Cat Lady OST was playing on constant repeat while I drew this - Lily of the Valley, Don't Follow the Light, String, Plainwalker, Early Winter, Storytelling, Susan's Blue Sheep (alone again) - those in particular are now stuck in my brain when I look at those drawings, and what I imagine the "game's" mood to be like, at least the opening segment.)

(I felt both heartbroken and like a monster when drawing this one... But I wanted to draw something that doesn't conveniently erase nor tuck his mangled, swollen face away from view. Sure... in game it looks goofy. But I think mockingly disfiguring him was the point in all of this, too. And given the venom, the Schmidt pain index, how it rates some wasp species, the fact that those robot wasps could be packed with anything necessary really... it had to be awful. Really, every stage of Gonta's execution was excruciating and enough to kill a person on its own, but due to his strength he likely suffered through them all. I remember begging in my head he was at least spared the flame, that he was already gone by this point... But it's foolish to pretend it definitely was the case.)

I wanted to post something new, but I was either busy, ill, or focused on something else, so another sketchdump with oldies and wips it is. This time strictly 2020-21 stuff, drawn during the first few months after finishing the game; mostly to process the post-game/Ch4 sorrows. All very emotionally raw, very edgy stuff that I felt, to be honest, too shy to show before.

Like with any wip I posted before, I do hope to finish some of them properly one day, even though I don't know when. But that's fine, I've signed up for a very long ride with the bug man. Taking it easy is the priority.

Speaking of long-term projects, maybe there's no need to, but I do want to talk about my Gonta fancomic, so here goes.

It's a bit long, so I will continue under the cut.

(Some panel teasers first! ...Gonta sanity fine.)

I took a few months long break from personal drawings - an *actual* break, not just sitting in front of a screen, tired, stewing in guilt that I'm tired, and that I can't magically muscle through burnout, or headache, or exhaustion.

My brain was stuck in a loop of berating myself for underperforming, not doing well enough, for taking so long on "mere" 27 pages, when in the past I could finish a 90-page webcomic chapter much faster. I wouldn't let myself rest, because I didn't do enough; but I couldn't do enough, because I didn't allow myself to rest. And it's been going on for months and months.

What a stupid, unconstructive thing to do to myself. I was only spiralling down, intimidating and overwhelming myself with work on the one thing I specifically wanted to keep doing out of joy, not ambition and pedantism. So I decided to just say "fuck it" and stop for a while. Like, actually stop, do something else and try to feel unapologetic about it.

So I briefly took up sewing, a creative activity I had no personal stake in, and then I started PVP-ing in DS3 (sorry if I happened to kick your butt in there. Rest assured my butt gets kicked just as much), which did wonders, too, as non-artistic pastime.

And, in the end, it seems it worked.

I finally feel this internal drive to draw again. Sadly, I can't spend all of my free time on the doujin (I might need to open commissions soon), so my pacing will still be glacial... But there was an internal change from "I have to, I have to, I must..." back to "I want to". And this is all that matters.

Still, that makes me think... while technically I don't have deadlines, the comic has taken so much longer than I thought it would - and it will take a while still. Thus, I wonder if I shouldn't change my approach re publishing it.

The initial idea was to post it all at once when it's fully finished, but I debate releasing it one page at a time instead, while it's still work in progress.

Thing is, I don't think it would be good for overall pacing. I don't want to sacrifice it, plus I can't guarantee regular uploads, esp since I don't exactly work on the pages in chronological order (While the first page is done, it was drawn after I finished a few in the middle & at the end; and there are still a few important pages/panels in first half I'm a bit too afraid of touching just yet, wanting to do them justice. This is how I work in general, jumping around rather than sticking to overly strict linear order.)

The compromise would be to post like 3-5 pages per post, making it so each upload covers a specific scene, however, same issue arises - I can't promise regular uploads. In the end it feels like a half-measure. But maybe it's a good idea, despite that impression?

There's a secret option, too - if this takes absurdly long, my plan was to just post the storyboard, after replacing some panels/pages with already finished drawings. The thing is readable as is, and long finished on that front anyway. My personal deadline for that was "right before my current lease ends", but, well… I plan on extending it anyway, and again... it's just a back-up option for when everything else fails. In the end, I just want to finish the comic, and present it how it's meant to be presented, however long it will take.

All those things considered, I'll stick to the original plan for now... and then we shall see. I simply wanted to share where things stand currently, and where they might go.

And that's it! If you've read this far, thank you. See you in the undetermined future.

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey guysss! A lot of people have been asking for me to make a challenge for a while now. I honestly didn’t want to, not because I’m against them or anything but because the law will be different for everyone. Sometimes, it feels like tumblr needs a reminder - you are the only person who knows what you need to do to succeed. I wish I could imprint this realization on everyone's minds. I’ve also gotten so manyyyy asks about things that genuinely just feel like your doubts repeating in your mind constantly so I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs bc y’all are spiraling really hard. I get it you want your desires for Christmas and new years. It’s okay take a breath, you're alive and will be okay.

Firstly: at the beginning I used to spend countless time spiraling into depression, constantly changing my methods every time I saw a new success story, and every time I found a new foolproof' tumblr method. Methods that were supposed to guarantee results in a day so when they didn’t I felt rlly useless. It was annoying, to say the least, and I don’t want to help others do the same thing, but really all I can do is reiterate what I always say and hope you apply it to everything!!

A lot of you guys wanted something that didn’t involve the void state, so that’s what this will revolve around! But feel free to make this void orientated if you desire, and I’ll also add a void section so all my babies can eat!

Ok so you’ve over consumed, you have dropped the void, and now have switched to just assuming and knowing that you would wake up with your dream life - embracing states. Great! At first, it will seem like you're doing nothing but you aren’t! For example, I knew I was dwelling in the state of wish fulfilled when I went to work without shedding tears, when I looked in the mirror and didn't think I was ugly because, well, I'm beautiful! I didn't care abt not performing well on a test because I could revise my past etc. this isn’t to say ignore the 3D: don’t do that, please try and make sure you’re safe and okay. But know life is malleable. Slowly, things that used to bother me—my parents, grades, anxiety, self-deprivation—started to fade away. Even though my dream life hadn't reflected in my 3D yet, I felt the switch. That's when I decided, I know what to do.

I also remember finding this cute website a long time ago that I want to share that summarizes it in such a great and simple way.

So Before I knew or understood what LOA was, I found this gem of an article on I am Love'- "How To Shift Into A State & Stay There". I think I have a post abt it somewhere on my blog but I’m too lazy to find it so here it is again.

Basically it explains that the essence of shifting into a desired state and staying there. What resonated with me was her choice to dwell in the state of knowing that her desires are hers, no matter what.

The way she used colloquial language made the content relatable and easy to understand. It's like having a conversation with a friend who's guiding you through hard concepts with “dumbed down” language because at the beginning states made 0 sense to me.

Posts like this really helped me particularly because when I discovered Neville, it required three attempts on my part to not only intellectually grasp his teachings, but also to truly comprehend him as a whole, given his non-contemporary speaking tbh.

I recommend it if you find yourself stuck or not really grasping the law yet (which is more than okay) but, if you're looking to understand the loa better or just learn more give this article a read.

There’s also a particular quote from Neville that really got me to dive into his work after finding this article and it was- “The being that you really are, descended to the weakness of the flesh, causing you to experience the state you are now in. Contemplate another state, and the same being who brought your present form into being will restore and make alive the other state, the state desired. This he will continue to do until his purpose is fulfilled. That purpose is to follow a certain pattern back into the unity of being. You see, in the beginning we were drafted. We did not volunteer to fall into these states. We were made subject into futility, not willingly but by the will of him who sent us. But when we return we will discover that we are the very being who subjected us. We are now the sons, destined to return as God the Father!”

Now that you understand and are ready to apply state, Here’s a routine I’ve created to hopefully help you guys! It is very simple and not time consuming at all.

Scripting and writing: I love writing and feeling like the author of my own story, literally bringing my creation to life. I would write when I felt like it. Whenever I wanted to dwell in my state, I would simply write, "I have my dream life." It's so simple, yet it embodies everything I need. If you’re more of a picture girl, use Pinterest instead. Or both if you prefer it doesn’t matter.

Edward arts' "I am creator meditation": Again, do this whenever you like it. It's one of the few meditations that didn't bore me to death and seemed to work with my ADHD. I also love reading, so I would read his pdf whenever I felt like it and take mental notes. Reading his work was a reminder I was doing everything right, it resonated with me very well.

During doubt and overstimulation: When things get overwhelming, close your eyes and let the emotions pass. They’re just thoughts! repeat the words "I am" until your heart returns to its normal rhythm. It's a simple yet powerful way to ground yourself amidst the whirlwind of emotions. And guess what? You can use this technique for doubt too! So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, remember the power of "I am". It's a gentle reminder of your existence, your resilience, and your capability to be whatever you want despairs any emotional turmoil.

Thank god: (yourself!!) When reminded of your desires. Thank you god. When you see your desires, (eg:Pinterest, online or you’re just reminded) thank you god! When you see an image of your desires, thank you god! When you dream or think about your desires. Thank god! Always thank the person fulfilling it aka you ;)! If you’re religious just thank the god you actually follow.

Nightly reflections: At night, ask yourself , "What would I do if I woke up in my dream life right now?" repeat this question throughout the night. Then, imagine whatever scene you want. What would you do if you could not fail? What would you do if you had all the money in the world right now. What if you looked in the mirror and saw the most ethereal being and it’s just you? What about if you woke up in your dream house with your dream family and pets? This is inspired by one of the first shifting methods I created that helped me fulfill my imagination before I knew what that meant. When you’re ready to sleep just remind yourself it is done, and drift off into your desires.

As I've always said, I've been a great daydreamer. I knew exactly what I wanted my life to look and feel like. I envisioned my walk-in closet filled with luxurious outfits, waking up in my dream room on a soft mattress with my pets purring nearby. I saw the decor reflecting my personality in every corner of my large, and pretty room. I imagined walking into my bathroom, seeing all my cool Sephora products lined up for my skincare and shower routine. I love taking care of myself because I know I deserve it. I saw myself looking in the mirror, knowing I'm "that girl" who turns heads wherever she goes.I visualized going downstairs in my boujee dream house,and seeing my family stress-free, smiling, and eating well. I saw plans being made on my phone, my friends were excited to see and talk to me. I went to my kitchen, filled with expensive ingredients ready for me to cook meals for my loved ones - because I love cooking. I saw myself checking my bank account and seeing multiple seven figures in my savings, checking, and investment accounts and opportunities easily presenting myself to make more if I wanted. I saw myself running errands in my car, shopping, getting Starbucks, having expensive lunch with friends, and making a trip to Target. Despite the simplicity of the day, I would come home and be like, "Ugh, what a long day!"like that one khloe kardashian meme. What if all this happened today? Visualize and feel the scenes so clearly that it felt like it's already happening.. not just in your imagination.

Most importantly: Define the law for you! Stop parroting bloggers and intertwine your own beliefs with the law. The only principle of the law is that through persistence assumption will harden into a fact. Other than that anything goes except for facts that are wrong.

Here’s old notes I found in my phone lol just so you know what I mean by define the law for you: ignore the writing I was kinda dumb and new to the law 😭😭

Now this is for my void babies if you made it this far.

Read this post.

This is it copied bc the links are wonky sometimes

“My previous method is based on the persistent assumption, which a lot of people don’t know how to do right and it might take some time even for those who have the right self-concept and the mindset, so today I was in the process of manifesting this method.

And I was successful!

This method is for everyone. It’s the easiest Void method.

Do you know that you get into the Void state at night automatically? At that time the whole perceived world disappears for you. Every single perception and assumption you have disappears while your consciousness in the calm and natural Void state.

Use it to your advantage. Now that you know about the Void that you enter when you sleep, the perfect state to manifest anything that you wish to perceive, with no “resistance”, no illusions of annoying solid things around, you only need to remember your scripted starting point in your DR and practice watching it all coming out of the Void.

Practice that scene with your eyes closed, say to yourself:”That is what I perceive. Next time I’m in the Void, I’ll experience this”. You won’t even need to be fully aware of yourself that way when you get into the Void while you are asleep. Your subconscious would do all the work as it now would have the instruction and a clear image of you expecting it.

Personal experience: as I was receiving information on this method, I almost stepped into my DR! I wasn’t even in the absolute void state, I was only creating the scene for this method and I felt it materialise with my senses!

I have great feeling that it’s going to give fast results for others! Try it, teach your subconscious what it needs to bring forth while in the Void, let it do your work for you!”

Lastly, I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs real quick bc the fear of shifting vs manifesting makes me sad for y’all. I understand you don’t wanna leave behind the people you love and that’s not fear to feel ashamed of having! I personally hate the npc mindset a lot of have people have adopted. The only thing we know for sure is that assumptions create realities, and consciousness is the real reality. Everything else boils down to assumptions, except for principles. For example, shifting is not lucid dreaming, even if you assume it to be. That is the principle. I’m just going to copy what I told my mutal bc I’m lazy and need to finish Christmas stuff 😭😭 but Our imagination and the 4D realm are products of our consciousness, which is indeed real. Our view of reality is shaped by our consciousness, since we can't experience everything all at once.

Unless, of course, you shift into a super omnipotent god. Even then, you’d probably still struggle with the concept of infinity because, well, infinity is infinite. And it’s constantly a never exnding expansion. As humans, we're finite beings, and our understanding of the infinite is naturally limited. Because you can’t and won’t ever experience everything at once, infinity is always expanding. Our awareness can be thought of as fragments of consciousness; it's like being a drop of water in a massive ocean. Even though our perception is limited, the infinite is always there, always existing. We simply adjust our awareness to perceive this infinite reality.

And through our consciousness, we are able to tap into other realities or 'multiverses', which give us a broader understanding of existence. This exploration of consciousness and the multiverse is a significant part of my journey into the world of manifestation.

The law of consciousness explains why, when you "shift" or change your perspective, you don't physically move. It's all about altering your state of awareness. This is also why time doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You can become aware of any time or day you want, as long as you choose to be aware of it. It's like having a mental time machine. This law is why infinite universes exist. As long as you can be aware of it, you can assume and embody the state of that person. Whether that's someone with a billion dollars on Earth, or a person who lives in the Attack on Titan world, it's all about your awareness.Our awareness is just a fragment of the larger consciousness – hence the idea of the multiverse. Each universe is a different fragment, a different state of awareness. And we have the power to “shift” into any of these states, therefore shifting into any of these universes.

I’m telling you this bc there’s no need to be afraid of manifesting or being in a reality with robotic versions of the people you love. Ariana grande and Marilyn Monroe for example talk about loa without acknowledging it and we see their success. Neville Goddard and his followers saw each other’s manifestions and I manifest for my friends and they mnaifest for me.

Take a deep breath and let go of the tik tok clone mindsets y’all have they don’t exist. You can manifest and assume anything you want in your imagination. Y’all literally want to manifest things like millions of dollars, revising deaths, living in new countries, having immorality in your waiting rooms, and never aging which is all possible of course. So be for real, why assume and know that you can achieve all that, but it won't manifest exactly how you want? I've also wondered about what happens to the "old version" of people when they manifest their dream life. As far as I'm concerned, they dont exist because you choose not to be aware of them.

I really want to talk about this too, as I've received similar questions and, oh my god, I thought I was alone. I've always been a bit delusional and lived in my head, but when I became conscious of the law, did anyone else feel a sense of self-embarrassment? I don't know what that was, but I'd genuinely feel my soul wanting to throw up envisioning my desires that aren't mine, even though I've always been a daydreamer. It's kind of like when you feel you can't have them or it's strange to envision yourself with something you can't have, so you just purge yourself. 😭

I was thinking back to why that happened and laughing at myself because we need to be serious right now. Why are you getting sick by your own mind? Imagine if Van Gogh, anytime he pulled out a canvas and held a brush, was jump-scared by the brush. Picture him holding out the brush and just staring at the canvas crying because "well, the painting is going to suck 😐," "I don't know what to paint☹️☹️," "I already know it won't be like what I envision in my head 😡😡." Like, bro, the canvas is blank, just fucking paint. That’s why I really like his quote that's like...

“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” So If you’re scared of failing, if you’re scared of your desires, or scared of how it will come to fruition, for that reason alone is more so to and manifest it anyways.

But happy holidays guys! make some tea, scroll through Pinterest, read a good book and watch some Christmas films and remember if you can imagine/think your desires you can embody them bc where are you getting it from??

Here are some helpful documents I have read plus a cute vid I saw on insta reels : (let me know if the links are being weird)

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[writing-with-olive]

Doing activism when you can't leave your home

A lot of times when we think of activism, we think of marches and irl community events and stuff like that. But what can you do if you can't leave your home and don't have a ton of extra cash on hand? (Note that these are ideas to get you thinking, not an exhaustive list. Feel free to send me an ask if you want more in-depth info)

Important: it's really hard to keep up activism if you're burnt out or physically exhausted. If you're stuck at home because you are recently injured or are actively sick, or anything else that requires you to take care of yourself first, do that. Same for chronic illness; mind your flare-ups and play the long game. There will always be more activism for you to do when you've got the resources for it.

Outreach Options

Call your representatives. This can be at any level: city, state, federal, etc. A lot of decisions can be influenced if a lot of people call on a major thing, saying "hey you gotta pass this" or "absolutely do not vote for it." Similarly, if there's a more niche bill happening, fewer voices can also have an outsized impact. If you wanna combine your efforts with the efforts of other people, consider getting on the newsletter of organizations like Indivisible, who can help you stay up-to-date and provide resources for staying involved.

Build call scripts. For a lot of people, calling can be really scary, either because they don't know what to say, or because talking on the phone just isn't their thing. If you're in the latter, group, you can still help people in the former. If there's a bill or issue that a representative is going to be voting on in the future that you want to make your voice heard about, you can use a template like this one and post it so that other people can use it.

Send emails to your city council. City councils generally have a public comment date each month with the option to submit a written comment if you can't be there in person. If there is an issue you want to see addressed in your city, reach out that way.

Write an op-ed. If you have a local paper that has options available for this, consider writing a piece as it relates to whatever cause you're championing. Guidelines can differ by paper, but it can be a good way to get an idea out.

Use social media to talk about an issue. Generally this works better if you have something to add or are staying with a particular topic, rather than simply waving around all the issues under the sun, because the latter can cause your posts to get lost in the noise. For example, while I talk about an abundance of problems on my blog, my focus is activism education and helping people see ways that they can get engaged personally, and posts like that tend to get the most traction.

Research Options

Get involved in citizen science. You can check out sites like Zooniverse to find ways that you can help. In a lot of disciplines, multiple (the number varies by discipline) random people processing data can be about as accurate as one trained person, because the duplicity helps to balance out the errors one person will make. Lots of projects in climate science, archival work, linguistics, cosmology, and a bunch of others need help analyzing the large amounts of data they've collected, so you can be a part of the work that's trying to address world problems.

Keep an eye on local or organizational goings-on. This one pairs with outreach, as it's really only helpful insofar as you're able to do something with the information you gather, but lots of news isn't going to really focus on a city-level committee or something unless they take particularly flashy action. If there's local politics that live-stream their meetings, you can tune in. Lots of patterns are slow to arise and take multiple meetings to notice, but once you've got your bearings you can talk to other people about taking action in response. For example, I once noticed a previous mayor was more likely to shut down conversation during meetings if she was talking to an individual than she was if she was talking to a business rep. That small detail was a large contributing factor to the way my locality was getting gentrified, and once I noticed it, I was able to draw attention to it.

Help teach others. This isn't so much research on your end, but rather helping others get the skills for it. There may be other platforms that are useful for this, but the one I've got experience with is Upchieve, which is volunteer text-based tutoring for low income students who otherwise wouldn't have access to out-of-class help. It's a "whenever you feel like it" model, and will pair you with students who are on at the same time you are and need help in something you're prepared to help them with.

IRL Local Organizing Options

Host organizing meetings. Obviously this is going to depend a lot on your situation, but if you want to be a part of meetings but can't leave your home, you might still be able to invite people over, and make some of the work happen where you're at.

Help out with prep work for events. Maybe you can't help with the public facing side of an event, but if a whole bunch of envelopes need to be stuffed beforehand, or baking needs to happen for a sale, or supplies need to be sorted into boxes, or other similar assembly needs to happen, you can ask another member of your organization to drop the components off at your place, and let them know when it's set to get picked up again.

Do some of the logistics work. It's not sexy, but activism groups live or die based on how well they can keep track of their resources, who's doing what, and what upcoming plans are. If you can manage a spreadsheet or keep internal communications going, that can be vital. Maybe you can't be in person, but if you are providing operations information to the people who can, you'll still be invaluable.

[galvanizedfriend]

hii Yokan! i miss you!😭

how are you? how is work?? I hope everything is going well<3

rn there's a little Comic Con in my city, and it really did help my mood!! (even tho I throwed up 6 times and fainted during the morning of the first day due to the heat and lack of iron🥲) 2 days down, 2 more to go 🙏

ANYWAYS! I know you've been going through a writer's block lately, and I read a post that said something about asking/commenting about the fictions to help the "stucked" autor, SO!

I've been re-reading TW III (shocking, I know) and those little hints about married!kc are just 😭😭 my heart melts, really, although... I was never really sure you'd get them married, mostly due to Care's speech to Cami about how Klaus supposedly sees weddings, and because I remember you saying that you weren't planning on giving them an actual marriage, but rather the closest thing next to it. I checked to comments to see other thoughts, and I saw one of you reply saying that you were completely against married!kc at the start, but then you were slowing changing your mind about it...

so, what was it that made you say "fuck it, I'm gonna ring the bells"?? is it because many people asked you to do it, so you are throwing us a bone, or is it something else?? I'm really interest on hearing the process of your change of heart <3

have a good one, friend <3 love you xoxo

I don't know if I am eloquent enough or if my train of thought makes much sense, but I will try 😂

Also grab a chair because this will be a long one. Be careful what you ask me, I do not know how to shut the fuck up 🙃

Objectively, I still think Klaus is not the marrying kind (in canon context, at least). That man has been alive for a thousand years. He's the vampire of vampires, one who sees humans as a lower species. He's used to getting what he wants by conquering and subjugating because he can. Why would he ever submit himself to an inherently human institution that, throughout history, has served as a tool for various types of social, political and religious control? The ceremony itself doesn't mean anything to him. He probably thinks it's ridiculous and performative, not to mention extremely frail. You can just change your mind and get a divorce, or the good old spouse murder, and then what? What's even the point?

(Just to be clear: I'm not personally preaching against weddings and marriages here btw, it's just how I think Klaus might have seen it.)

If you look at it from the sentimental side, Klaus spent almost a thousand years saying that love is a sign of weakness, a character flaw. He carried his siblings, the only people he genuinely cared about, inside coffins because he didn't trust them enough not to leave him, betray him or end up captured and killed by one of his enemies. Now, why would he want to marry someone, thus exposing yet another vulnerability to be exploited?

Having said that 😂

When we first see Klaus in TVD he's trying to surround himself with a whole new OP supernatural species that will have no choice but to stand with him. They will protect him, they will go to war for him, do whatever he asks them to and they will never leave (or that's what he thought, anyway) because they don't have a choice. That is the only way Klaus knows how to trust people: by completely removing their capacity to challenge him. That's how paranoid he is.

But as the story progresses, and especially with The Wolf in particular because it takes their relationship much further than the show, Klaus realizes there is more than one way to earn people's trust. I feel like that's one of the pillars of his relationship with Caroline. He could've just compelled her (in TVD, not TW because she's a witch), but he never did because he wanted more from her than obedience. All of the things he liked about her - her personality, her honesty, her fire, her loyalty - would've been essentially erased or made meaningless if he'd compelled her. Which puts her in direct opposition to how he related to his hybrids, right? He pretends to be fine with people who have no choice but to follow him, but what he really craves is more real than that. He surrounds himself with people who will worship the ground he walks on after some forged "gratitude" for releasing them of their curse, but he is fascinated by how gutsy Caroline is to look him in the eye and tell him the things that no one else will dare to. What he really seeks but doesn't have the courage to admit is that he wants someone who will choose to be with him. And that's the difficult part, because it can't be conquered or taken, it has to be earned.

Klaus comes from a place of paranoia and extreme distrust of everything and everyone around him, especially after Mikael in New Orleans, and he feels very isolated and alone. He tells Stefan about that, right? The loneliness of immortality. When The Wolf starts, in spite of how he and Caroline were having a bit of a thing before it, he's not sure she would want to stay with him. Actually, he thinks the first chance she gets, she's gonna bail. It's why he's mad when he thinks she wants to terminate the pregnancy. It's not about the baby (it's never about the baby), he couldn't care less about the damn baby at that point, it's the fact that he thinks she's trying to get rid of him, as if that pregnancy is the one thing that is holding them together at that point and so if she's no longer pregnant, she doesn't have to be with him. What I'm very inarticulately trying to say is that his initial approach to Caroline being pregnant is the same he had with his hybrids, as if the baby is a version of a sire bond. It's crazy and dysfunctional, yes, but it's how Klaus rationalizes it, how he thinks he gets to keep people around him - either through daggering them or giving them no choice.

Slowly, Klaus internalizes the fact that Caroline is choosing him. She tells him that a few times throughout the story, and even when he's hallucinating her at the beginning of TW4, because that's something that she has said before and that has stuck with him for reason. She could've left him at any point, but she didn't because she wants to be with him. It's a choice that she has made not because he forced her to, but because she's in love with him. She protects him, she fights for him, she walks through hellfire for him because she wants to, not because she must. He has earned her trust and her love and her loyalty. And that is something that is new for Klaus in his one thousand years of life, at least at this magnitude and with this much clarity and certitude.

So I think when I started writing TW3, which was them in their domestic era, it started to feel like something Klaus might actually do. Not just because it obviously does mean something to Caroline and he would basically do anything for her (even though she never asks for it, which in itself is something, because Caroline comes from relationships that made her feel so insecure and unsafe that she would've held on to a ring like a lifeline, but with Klaus she simply does not need hard evidence to feel safe and reassured, she knows how Klaus feels about her, she's very comfortable in their relationship, she knows that what offers her means a lot more than a thousand weddings to other people ever would - even though she does still love a good wedding lol), but because it suddenly makes sense to him. Not the big party, or the tradition of it, or making it official or anything of the sort, but as a way to externalize what he feels. There is a symbolism to it that while not ideal, it might be the closest to thing to expressing just how devoted he is to her and how she is, pure and simple, eternity for him. When that comes from someone who has lived for as long he has, and who has been as cynical as he was for as long as he was, it does mean something, even if nothing else does.

There is a territorial factor to it as well, of course. 😌 He's a very possessive man and so he wants everyone to know Caroline is his, and it's why it first came to him during the thing with Jackson, but it's more than just that. If it was just about that, he wouldn't do it. He is at a point where he no longer has any doubts about how Caroline feels for him (although there will be a little something something on that front at the beginning of TW4, just because they've been apart for so long, but it will be quickly dispelled).

The most sacred thing for Klaus was the vow he took with his siblings when they fled Viking Falls. They stuck together through everything because of that. He knows the value of a vow and a promise. And he wants a version of that with Caroline. It's the first time in his life when he contemplates genuinely offering that to someone other than his family. There are a million ways he could go about it, probably, but he knows asking her to marry him is the one that will be most representative to her, because of the age where she was born and how she grew up, etc.

And so that is why I decided that Klaus was going to buy a ring even though I crossed my heart and hoped to die a million times for years when people asked me about that. 😂 I just think it's the natural course this story has taken. It's long enough that it eventually made sense to me that he might do it.

Does any of that make sense???? I don't know! I just typed my stream of thought and hoped for the best and now I'm afraid to read it again, so apologies if it's just crazy words.

Now if only I can get back to writing and actually get to that part. 🥲 Pray for me 🙏

THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK! 🙃 Here have a pretty married Klaroline gif.

[ilstar]

name — vos

pronouns — they / them

preferred comms — i'm happy to chat anywhere but i have a bad habit of forgetting to reply to dm's on tumblr and the barely functioning notification system doesn't help. disc is always quickest!!

name of muse — gesturing at my roster. robin, caelus and horrible oc are whispering in my ear the loudest right now though

experience in RP — technically. technically around 14 years because my first exposure to rp happened when i googled warrior cat games at the age of NINE and stumbled upon a chatroom instead. strictly on tumblr, i believe it's around 8-9 years. you have to kill me

best experiences — they are few and far between but it's still very special to me when i get to meet people who i feel like i just match with on every level from like, writing style to humour to being insane about a particular character(s) in the same way. insert honourable mention to val here AS ALWAYS. someone who has made my time on this website so much more enjoyable kdjfhgd another honourable mention to the rpc i wrote in before dipping my toes into hyv for being so creative and open to oc's, which has always really stuck in my mind as a nice place to be. while it lasted.

pet peeves / dealbreakers — some things that will always happen when i write popular or plot - significant characters are having people mansplain my own muse to me, having to bat away fanon concepts and dealing with people running on assumptions made by them, chasing and (stares at kazuha) constant angling for extremely popular ships that i have openly stated i don't like. don't be any of these guys

writing preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — i'm good for anything but if most of our interactions tend to default to fluff / give me slice of life vibes i will get pretty restless. i like to delve a little deeper. and honestly, i do love angst, as long as it serves a purpose or actually goes somewhere, but angst for angst's sake doesn't really interest me.

plot or memes — plots 100% because i think that talking about our muses and developing a dynamic is half of the fun here. i love prompts!! but having an idea of how our muses bounce off of each other and knowing that we're on the same page gives me so much more to work with, which means i can write something you're much more likely to enjoy / feel able to reply to :)

long or short replies — i'm actually trying to learn how to enjoy writing smaller replies. i've never held myself to a standard where a piece of writing MUST be of a certain length to post it but i also like ... have a tendency to dwell on things like introspection and body language, probably too much, which means by the time i've actually given the reply some interaction / a direction for my partner to take it in, it's already getting pretty long and i could. just keep going. so i am doing my best to practice cutting out what's not really important. being more concise.

best time to write — has to be at least evening but is almost always at night. i'm not someone who can comfortably sit at a computer during the day when there are other things i could be doing, most unfortunately

are you like your muse — there's probably a little piece in all of them that i can relate to on some level. but when i'm developing a character i try my best to avoid projecting too much of myself onto them, and i mostly gravitate to characters who interest me or seem fun to analyse rather than ones who i see myself in / understand very very easily.

[rollercoasterwords]

one and seven for the ask game!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

hi lia <3 <3

Have you pulled inspiration from media sources other than the property your fic is related to (a plot point from a TV show that has nothing to do with the characters/setting of the fic, a line from a book, etc.)? If so, for which story? Why did you find that media source compelling?

absolutely yes! i mean fic in particular is extremely derivative but honestly all writing is derivative...i am always pulling inspiration from other stories i've loved which have stuck w me <3 gonna focus on wfrau in particular just to avoid this answer getting too long + bc that's what i've been writing most recently but. i've pulled inspiration from the animorphs series bc there are lots of fun ethical dilemmas brought up throughout that stuck w me after reading it; a particular scene from the anime 'banana fish' influenced james's story, though i can't say much more abt that without risking spoilers for the anime...if you've seen it you'll probably know which scene it influence tho lol. the crypt ch was influenced by book 4 of the fablehaven series which i read growing up as a kid--i loved book 4 bc it involved the main characters going on a mission into this underground treasure vault and having to fight past different traps to deeper down...so fun <3 the idea to write a werewolf fighting ring au in the first place came from me remembering a book i'd read as a kid called 'the abused werewolf rescue group,' though i couldn't actually tell you anything abt the plot anymore...and i'm sure there are a thousand other bits & pieces of media that have been floating around in my brain as i've written but those r the main ones coming to mind rn!

7. Share a line or paragraph you’ve written that you don’t think will ever actually be posted in anything! (Or, if you don’t hoard cut sentences and passages like I do, share anything you want that has yet to see the light of day!)

ugh see i really should save my writing better...generally w the way i write i'm not usually cutting entire scenes but it has happened once or twice & i've just. deleted it...

i can share a snippet of a pandalily time war au that i wrote about 2 pages of like 2 years ago but don't think i'll ever return to/complete so it will likely never see the light of day...here u go:

The low chatter—that is something that does not change. Gather enough people into a room, call it a party, close your eyes and it could be 1992 in Los Angeles or 761 in Koumbi Saleh or 1674 in Beijing. Humans will buzz like insects no matter what time you put them in, forever and ever and ever. Sometimes Lily wishes that they still existed; she scrubs the thought from her hard drive before her programming reads it as a virus. Humans do exist, forever. One only has to choose the right time.

This time, she is drinking wine. She is wandering through bodies, smiling and feeling the way it shapes her face. She steps past the marble columns, onto the terrace, under the moonlight that kisses her eyelids so gently when she closes them. She can feel the light, you know. That’s something she can do.

“Red suits you.”

The person beside her is a woman, today, or something like it. She wears the same clothing, white sweep of cloth, though she’s never quite able to get the same softness. It drapes willowy, slow-moving, with fingers that gnarl like roots.

“I’m too tired to kill you tonight,” Lily says, biting through the Latin with her canines like rich meat. “Go somewhere else.”

The woman smiles, slow and creeping, a lichen on the bark of a tree.

“Another place?”

“Another time.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“I like the wine.”

She isn’t drinking any. She watches the cup in Lily’s hands. When Lily takes a sip, the woman’s tongue darts out to wet her lips, pink and human.

“They have wine later,” Lily tells her, “And before.”

“Not like here,” the woman says, “Not like tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“Tonight.”

“And what makes it different tonight?”

The woman smiles. She is standing so very close. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

fic writer ask game

[cozymochi]

Talk about something you are eager to do? ( new art ask meme)

(also! Congrats on ending the wardrobe theme! All the outfits looked really great in the collage! )

(I don’t know if it ended, I just got stuck!! And I had nothing else to post since I never do anything substantial up here. Might as well re-share and re-size stuff people already saw and are tired of seeing. But worse! Barring a handful I couldn’t fit.)

OKAY ALTERNATE ANSWER to the same question. Erm. I don’t think I’m really eager to do anything else in particular. I still wanna make TWST animatics, but if I say what they are or what they’re about prematurely, I’ll almost certainly never make them. That’s why what I have tends to show up out of nowhere with no fanfare or build up.

I guess I’m eager to finish some other non-ask and non-commission related projects that I’ve been putting off for months. 😩 Least of all pressure of getting a new day job somewhere nearby so I don’t have to rely solely on commissions… somehow.

One of the wips I put in a lot of studying and research into, so hopefully I get to show it. Although, I really gotta treat it like I’m NOT showing ever it to curb my mind from self-sabotage. BUT WHO KNOWS!!

[askdacast]

I don’t really get the way The Chosen portrays Jesus. When one of his disciples gets something half right by offering to help Jesus carry stuff out of the goodness of his heart, Jesus responds with a half assed, “Thank you but…” When Jesus orders his disciples to work with wheat, Jesus acts like an earthly king by not even being there to work with them. Jesus also rudely interrupts one of his disciples when that disciple tries to tell him about an idea to raise funds.

Hey anon, forgive me for not answering your questions directly. But seeing as you’ve been going around sending this same message to several different blogs talking about The Chosen, I do feel the need to address something else.

(IMPORTANT EDIT: if you’re not the same anon who’s been sending messages to @sojourner-between-worlds then please ignore this post, I wrote it with this assumption in mind)

First of all, while I’m not really particular about spoilers, you have to keep in mind: I’m a busy person. Most of us are, with jobs and lives outside the internet. I have my postgraduate studies right now, and lately because it has been quite busy, I haven’t had the time to catch up with The Chosen’s new episodes exactly as they are uploaded. I’m still stuck on episode 3, mind you, with basic knowledge of episode 4, and I won’t be able to catch up very quickly. I know it probably wasn’t your intention to spoil me, but coming into my asks and telling me directly about events I haven’t watched yet is just a tad rude in that regard, especially if I really DID care a lot about not being spoiled.

Which brings me to my next point - I have absolutely no problems discussing The Chosen, even critiquing it. I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t criticize anything about this show. It’s not like I have 100% positive things to say about this show either - as mentioned before, I quite disliked the ending of S4E3. So I’m usually more than glad to share my opinions, positive or otherwise about this show. And I don’t mind either you sharing your opinions and asking for a discussion.

However, it appears to me, from your asking this same anon Q to many blogs, that it’s not really a discussion you want, so much as to complain about things you don’t like and asking “big name blogs” (if you can even call us that, we are just random people on the internet…) to affirm your negative opinions about this show. And I’m sorry to say, I don’t intend to do that.

If it really was a discussion you wanted, you are free to make your own Tumblr blog to make your own critical posts. You can complain as you please, and you can even invite further discussion and other’s opinions. After all, reblogs are much easier to keep track of than anon asks. But instead, I see you not just repeating the same asks, but when a blog gives you an opinion you disagree with, you send further anon asks basically picking apart their opinions and arguing with them ad nauseam about how The Chosen has so many detail inaccuracies in the show.

Forgive me for being blunt, but there are so many better uses of your time than arguing with strangers online. This is neither healthy nor productive.

You need to remember The Chosen is NOT Gospel. It is entertainment - it is an adaptation of the Gospel. Artistic liberties and inaccuracies are bound to happen. ANY story - not just gospel-related ones, but adaptations of history, famous books etc. - will inevitably have to take some liberties as you move from book to screen, fact to fiction. Do I agree with all of these changes? Do I think the “it’s fiction” argument is a good excuse to just change the source to whatever I want? Of course not. One needs to respect the heart of their source material and what it’s trying to say. We will rarely agree 100% with the way something is adapted. But we need to approach these things with grace and some common sense, because adaptation in writing is really really really hard. Word for word faithfulness to the text will not always translate to the screen well, and liberties NEED to be taken in order to tell a good story.

Just because the Bible never says exactly where Jesus did XYZ miracle doesn’t mean The Chosen should just show them going nowhere. Just because we don’t know the half the disciples actual backgrounds, does not mean it would be better storytelling for Thomas, Thaddeus, Nathaniel etc. to just show up like “ayo Jesus I appeared from the ether and want to be your disciple.” It would be confusing, especially for a newcomer who knows nothing about the Bible!

As I said, The Chosen is not Gospel. It is a piece of entertainment to encourage people TO read the original gospels and form THEIR OWN opinions about who Jesus really is and what He came to do for us. Dallas Jenkins and co. have made NO claims to presenting gospel truth or a new gospel. All they have ever set out to achieve was to bring to light what the gospel is, why it is so important, and HOW it could be important to you too. We can absolutely disagree with how they have gone about this goal. But let’s not claim that the very act of making a tv show is the same as trying to rewrite the gospel.

If you still don’t like The Chosen despite other people’s opinions, that’s 100% fine. You are entitled to your opinions, and you can hold firm to them. Ironically, going around asking people to agree with you, and angrily arguing with them when they disagree, only shows a lack of conviction in your opinions, that you NEED someone (people online whom you’ve never met no less) to tell you that you’re right. I’m not asking you to like this show, but to have some grace towards the people who do - the people who’ve really been touched by God through this show - and the people who’ve made this a possibility.

I am, once again, not saying you cannot criticize this show. But I am imploring you to do so in a way that doesn’t tear people down, but builds them up. If you don’t like how The Chosen portrays Jesus, then show people who the REAL Jesus is.

We are all doing our best to obey and serve the Lord with what’s in our hands, and only He alone can judge whether or not we’ve done the right thing. (Romans 14:3-4) I suggest you do the same.

[mizukagami-takamagahara]

Favorite and least favorite Blazblue characters?

Yay~ finally getting to this ask. I’ve got a lot of really cool asks (thank you everyone so much) that I’ve been wanting to get to, but my health is Rather Poor, and when I do answer these things, I want to be able to put a lot of energy and attention into them.

Now, getting to the ask! I had a lot to say, and it all came out messy... and somehow, I only ended up talking about one character, Nu 13. Who fits as both one of my favorite and one of my least favorite characters, for reasons detailed below. To not make this an entire fucking novel, I'll cut the post off here and consider it an early birthday post for her.

That said, here's a quick run down of some other stuff I didn't get to talk about, relevant to your question.

My other Hated Fave is Nine/Konoe. One of those “I love the character but if we were stuck in a room together I’d maul her” situations. I consider her to be a misandrist, and I have a very charged history of like, generational reactive sexism in my family, so her generational reactive sexism (relationship with her father coloring her relationship with men overall) enrages me. On the other hand, it’s so well written, SHE’S so well written, she’s an incredible character and I adore her as an art piece. She is like a cathedral to me. The most beautiful symphony in a key you hate.

Touched on briefly in the post below, my all time absolute favorite is Terumi/Susano'o. That's a story for another day. I like him in a very particular way where he's like, the best character ever, but also he's constantly on probation. Or reverse probation? I need to see him try to kill/maim/ruin someone once a month or he's at risk of being evicted. Being the champion is a title you have to defend, y'know?

I think the character I study the most and talk about the most is Noel, although to my tastes, she's very middle of the road. I feel neutral about her. I just use her as a guinea pig for all my BB related project. You know Dangan Ronpa? How they used Sayaka and Leon as a starting point/beta test for everything? It's kind of like that, except I haven't gotten so sick of her yet that I'm killing her off or anything.

With all of that covered, allow me to get into the actual post! Thank you for your patience!

Off the top of my head at least, I can’t honestly think of BlazBlue characters I dislike. Every character that comes to mind shares something that makes me hesitant to actually claim I dislike them. That is, the characters I like the least are the characters I understand the least. Spinner Superior and the entire Bloodedge Experience cast make the list… but I haven’t read BE. Valkenhayn makes the cut- another character I really don’t pay attention to. Bullet, Hibiki, maybe Amane- all characters I really just… haven’t paid much attention to yet.

I don’t really want to claim I dislike them at this point, because when I really think about it, I’m like 99% sure that I lack interest in them BECAUSE I haven’t taken the time to look at them.

One of my hobby/goal/things in my free time is working on these BB character documents, analyzing everything I can about each character in the series for my own personal work. I have a feeling that when I get to really analyzing and writing about these characters, I’ll find things I like about them.

Here's a quick look at my files, to see what I'm talking about. Have mercy, it's very WIP.

There are two characters that stand out to me in an… almost “love to hate” way, but not quite. I have a lot to say about these characters, but I’m still tired, and this post is going to be LONG as is, so I’ll try to keep it brief.

Author's Note: I fail to keep it brief.

Before BBDW, my least favorite character was DEFINITELY Nu13. Ironic, because she almost got me into BB back in the Continuum Shift days. I saw her and some of her crazy behavior and thought... well, not much, just kind of an error message in my head going “hot woman spotted.” So I looked into her, and her story!

And got bored immediately. At first I was intrigued- I love violent characters that could arguably be described as “rabid” or “feral,” but upon further inspection, she had one of the few character flaws I just can’t look past. She was absolutely static. Immutable. The only character she was willing to interact with was Ragna, and even when interacting with him, she couldn’t hear a thing he said. In my interpretation, at the time, this made her a character that couldn’t connect with the outside world in any way. To me, she was an island. Absolutely remote. And completely useless to my interests.

A fear years later, a few months before the launch of Chronophantasma Extend, I ended up getting into BlazBlue anyway powered by sheer Terumi thirst. Are you guys starting to get a picture of my type yet? From then on, BB has remained my all time favorite series, and Terumi/Susano’o continues to be in my top three favorite characters, usually comfortably wearing the “#1 all time fave” crown. I suppose that answers the other half of your question.

Throughout this time, Nu still didn’t appeal to me at all. Locked in as my least favorite, definitely. Eventually, I got my college roommates into BB. One of the girls fell in absolute love with Nu. I couldn’t understand it at all. In hindsight, she’s right on every point about Nu that she likes, and I really appreciate those traits now too- but I couldn’t see it at the time. She was able to see Nu as an incredibly tragic character for the same reasons I saw her as inert. In the C-Series, Nu is alone, horribly alone, locked in her pain and her delusion. I saw that and ultimately felt she was beyond saving, but my associate felt that made her into a beautiful tragedy, a princess more worth saving than any other. Maybe I’m getting a little abstract out of nowhere here, but I now feel that’s the best way to look at Nu’s story- she’s locked away in this fairy tale delusion. Ugh, I have more to say on it, but look at how long this has gotten already!

Anyways, then BBDW came out, and Mori gave us a glimpse of what he intended to be the next step in Nu’s story. Juusan, XIII, Thirteen. And hooooooooooooly shit my guys, I absolutely love Nu, XIII, and her arc now. It’s her fucking healing arc! It’s her fucking growing arc! She’s finally able to start becoming a person, fleshing out, interacting with the world!

I’m not the type who really needs or even WANTS redemption arcs for characters, but Nu DESPERATELY needed this chapter. My biggest gripe with her, as mentioned, was that it seemed impossible for her to have any kind of relationship with ANYONE. I guess I was a little close minded- I needed to see evidence that Nu could be reached, that she could wake up from her fairy tale slumber and start really living. And we have that now, in XIII.

Looking back on the writing from the earlier games, when I hated Nu so much, I see those scenes in an entirely different light. Her first fucking scene in every route is waking up, our sleeping beauty. But she wakes up to the same dream every time. She’s put right back into her coffin, death, to dream and dream and wake and be killed again. Isn’t that kind of beautiful??? Her CT story mode IS a dream, it’s a desperate dream, the one she holds most dearly but doesn’t even understand- Nu is a character who THINKS what she wants more than anything is a romantic love with her prince charming, but we see in her story mode there, and in the relationships that finally save her, that what she really wanted was a full relationship as a real person. Platonic relationships, with no expectations, just someone seeing her and maybe offering her a smile. She craved, needed, the ability to connect with others, but that was a dream so far out of reach she couldn’t understand it. I KNOW I’M RAVING AT THIS POINT, I DIDN’T MEAN TO, BUT C’MON IT’S BEAUTIFUL.

And, and!!! As I mentioned, the relationships that finally save her, finally wake her up from the dream the same way the BB world is being woken up from ITS looping dream (WHICH IS ANOTHER AWESOME CONNECTION AND GREAT WRITING, THE WAY NU AS A CHARACTER CAN BE SEEN TO EMBODY THE LOOPING WORLD, NEW AND BROKEN AND UNABLE TO CHANGE WITH NO HOPE OF TOMORROW)

Ahem, ahem-- It’s familial connections. She so badly wants that romance with Ragna, but it isn’t the love of a prince that saves her- it’s when he accepts her as his sister. It’s when he accepts her as a victim and her own person and not a bastardization of Saya, and comes to save this lonely girl. An echo of his little sister he couldn’t save. HIS ENTIRE JOURNEY WAS TO SAVE HIS SISTER AND HE FINALLY DOES. IN SO MANY WAYS, INCLUDING IN THAT MOMENT OF REACHING OUT TO NU.

And then it’s Noel. And Lamba. Her sisters. Again, people who once saw her as a disgusting representation of what they feared the most, a replacement or a copy- when they let that go, see past it, and really face her, they take Nu in as their little sister. And its their patient love that heals her. Just like Ragna, when they first met Nu, her connection to Saya and themselves terrified them, infuriated them, but now they look directly at that connection and don’t see it as a threat. It fills them with compassion. It can be a lovely thing, to share something so fundamental as your creation with someone else. There’s love in that. They see it now and are able to offer it to her.

This answer has been very messy and very long, but hey, let’s pretend it isn’t that bad. Give me some mercy, I’m on so much cough syrup.

[earlgreytea68]

If I may present some more lyrics related thoughts: The line "Last night I dreamt I still knew you" probably haunts me more than any other on SMFS, and I can't help but wonder if Pete had the hiatus in mind when writing them. He and Patrick went from being basically inseparable, to Patrick not knowing his kid, and performing his own music with so much more confidence than the boy who hid his face under a hat onstage all those years ago. Pete must have felt like a ghost in his own life without his musical other half by his side, but now here they are together on the other side, and they're stronger than ever!

okay, okay, so to me Flu Game is SUCH a hiatus-y song that i wonder sometimes if it's not a song with old lyrics stuck in it, or if Pete sent old lyrics to Patrick, Idk, did it finally seem like time to write through the hiatus in this particular way? But the lyrics seem more depressed than the rest of the album. Even given things like "I used to be a real go-getter," there's a brutality to "Oh, God, kinda please would you kill me now?" (I know Genius says this is "kindly please" but I stand firm that I think it's "kinda please.")

Anyway, everything about this song feels like it could come from the hiatus, because it's all about someone you knew so desperately well, someone you carved out space for in the world, just you and him against the world, and now you're so distant that you're just a face in the crowd he's up there performing to, and there you are, left with all this love and no one to give it to, trying to pretend you're getting through each day when it's exhausting, and what are you dreaming about? That you still knew each other (all of my wildest dreams ended up with you and me). That's your wildest dream (I will never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me).

I can't be who you need me to be is so very what Pete Wentz thought at the beginning of the hiatus, and all he's doing is working flat-out to keep everything going and it's totally not appreciated and he can't even figure out anymore what's real or fake and he worked so hard to carve out that space and you're just going to leave it.

And he knows none of this really matters and nobody will care and it's all pointless but he can't seem to stop wanting to catch all of your ears, he can't stop seeking that attention, none of it is healthy or good but he's stuck in it, what else is he going to, he's got all this love and an empty space next to him.

There are also a lot of themes in these lyrics that strike me as being more common in his pre-hiatus stuff: The idea of faking how hard everything is so that you make it look easy shows up in Alpha Dog (we must make it hard to look so easy doing something so hard) and I'm pretty sure it shows up somewhere else, too, but I'm blanking on it now. The idea of Pete writing as Fall Out Boy the band and its unhealthy relationship with its fans also feels more pre-hiatus than post- (that's in Hum Hallelujah and Our Lawyers...). I might just be forgetting the post-hiatus occurrences of these themes, but they feel older to me. I have long wondered if this song is an old-lyric song. In interviews about the album, it seems clear that Patrick likes this song a lot and that Pete is less enthusiastic about it and considers it one of those "Patrick-y" songs that comes out of his head and his head alone. Which to me also slots into "he pulled these lyrics from God knows where." But, again, I could also see it that maybe Pete found them and finally thought it was time to share them. Who knows?

I haven't even talked yet about my absolute favorite lyric in this song: "Late at night in my room, lie awake and think of you and all your little dooms." First of all, this is another one of Patrick's odd-rhythm specialties, and I love it so much because it highlights so nicely my favorite part of the line: you and all your little dooms. Ugh, I just love that. Genius tells me it's probably a reference to orgasms and I just think that Pete Wentz never talks about sex as much or as straightforwardly as Genius thinks he does lololol. Which isn't to say he doesn't talk about sex, just that this lyric is about so much more than orgasms. It's so brilliantly evocative of that kind of relationship where a million little things seem to condemn it and drag it down. And given how hiatus-y the song feels to me, I think of the way Pete must have felt as it was all falling apart, that talking to Patrick was just an endless series of "little dooms" that Patrick kept flinging at him. What a perfect, beautiful little turn of phrase for the way things can succumb to the quicksand of problems.

Idk, I just love Flu Game.

And it is perhaps important to note that it leads into "Baby Annihilation," Pete's return to the poetry of the pre-hiatus time, but this time polished up to be JUST POETRY, no song it's being tacked to the end of, this standalone moment of Pete Wentz (with Patrick backing orchestration, the truest representation of their partnership we've really ever had, tbh), with it's closing musing of "what is there between us if not a little annihilation?" AND THEN we get "Kintsugi Kid," a song EXPLICITLY about that period of Pete's life where he was self-destructive but titled for how he came out so much better in the end, AND THEN the Patrick Stump special of "What a Time to Be Alive," the song Pete has very fondly called "pure Patrick," and it just seems so fitting to me that at the end, Patrick comes roaring back into this hiatus-y stretch, and we come back into the present.

[creampuffqueen]

You absolutely don't have to answer this one if it's something you'd prefer to keep to yourself, but... was there any particular reason why you struggled with your confidence as a writer? It's a little funny, a little sad, that no matter how good someone is at what they do, at certain times they're unable to perceive their work that way

yeah i don't mind at all! i've been in a very good place confidence-wise for a while now, so i'm definitely able to look back on some of those moments more objectively. i think it's very important to share that everyone struggles with confidence at times, no matter how "good" their work seems.

i think my struggle with my confidence as a writer, both then, occasionally now, and always, stems from the fact that i have never been a super confident person as a whole. i have always had very bad imposter syndrome, ever since i was young, in pretty much all that i do. school, work, hobbies, anything really. i always have had this underlying feeling of 'i'm just faking being good at [thing], i was only good at [thing] because of dumb luck, one day i'm gonna be super bad at [thing] and then everyone will Find Out'.

find out what? idk. but that is something i've experienced for a very long time. most of the time i'm able to ignore those feelings, but every now and then they really rear their ugly head and i sort of get stuck in a rut.

as for the writing itself. i actually can pinpoint what i was specifically struggling with at the time. for starters, i was still finishing up school when i was beginning to plot out my fics for yangvik week, and my spring semester was rough. my adhd became incredibly unmanageable and my overall mental health was probably at the worst it's ever been. not super conducive to writing.

the other part of this struggle was actually because of my other fic, 'the push'. i love that fic and i am very proud of it, but it BLEW UP, becoming popular beyond my wildest imagination. it's only been out for a few months but it is one of the most popular things i have ever posted. last time i checked, it is the most popular work in the entire yangchen/kavik tag on ao3, which is just crazy to me.

unfortunately, the downside of this is that i began to feel like nothing i wrote would ever be as good as that fic. the imposter syndrome appeared full-force. i began to wonder if i should even bother writing for yangvik again. i mean, i had created the most popular fic by dumb luck. there was no way i could create something of that caliber again, right? and if i wrote something that wasn't as good, then people would know that i'm secretly a terrible writer.

this was also extremely exacerbated by my outside mental health struggle. i would struggle to write because of my adhd, and then would beat myself up about it because 'oh i just trekked through that mental block before, i should be able to do it again'. (spoiler alert, no i couldn't).

but somehow, the stars just seemed to align for yangvik week. by some miracle, i had both the free time to write AND working medication that actually let my get my ideas down. i published my fic for day one and it was very well received, and i was able to focus on that rather than my own imposter syndrome, and finally feel some confidence in my writing again!

so this is just my message to other artists: everyone struggles with their confidence at times. it isn't always mental health related like mine was (though you should always prioritize your own mental health! making art is so, so much harder when your brain is out of whack) but everyone feels a lack of confidence occasionally. your art deserves to be seen, no matter if you think you've just created the second mona lisa or you think it's a dumpster fire. someone out there is going to love it, i promise <3

thank you for the ask!

[queenofbaws]

Good morning (...or night?), for Like Wringing Blood, what is 16, 17 & 20? Hope you're doing good :)

well good morning-night yourself!!! ;P i'm all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed today, whatever the time may be, and getting to chat about the hacketts only makes it that much better!!! hehehe

16. What was the easiest scene to write?

hands down, the easiest time i've had getting a scene down is...something i haven't posted yet, ALAS! i'm so excited to finally get there, but...i've referenced it before, and i'll reference it again by simply saying it involves OLD! MEN! FIGHTINGGGGGGGG!!!!! 🥳

when i first started writing all in the family, the oneshot-turned-whole-fic precursor to like wringing blood, this scene came to me so...fully. and vibrantly. and intensely. that i decided i had to write like wringing blood, if only for this one scene to live. it wouldn't do as a oneshot, not in my mind, and it needed context so that it could (eventually) have catharsis, and just...i'm very, very excited to get to the old men fighting. and i hope, of course, that all y'all out there will enjoy the old men fighting, and i hope it'll show, how the fic as a whole kind of grew from that one angry, angry seed.

17. What was the hardest scene to write?

so my cop-out answer for this one is this: literally any scene that involves travis and constance interacting. lmao. i've for sure commented on that before, but man. it's just. a lot. having the two of them in a scene together. any time i'm working on something that features both of them heavily, the vibes are just...rancid, and i always end up having to get up and walk off some of the grimacing. it's not just a "shitty parent interacting with their kid" thing either, believe me, because i do not have the same issue with say, jed and chris. this is a constance-and-travis-specific issue and BOY. it makes getting through certain chapters...ROUGH!!!

a less generalized answer, though, is that there is another scene i haven't gotten to yet involving chris experiencing some...l...light haunting, let's say. that's non-spoilery enough, i think. chris experiences some light haunting during the course of camp, and i am having a hell of a time getting that scene down because it's also very alive and very big and very bright in my mind, but conveying it all in words has been a challenge. i keep rewriting it, keep adding things and taking them out, and short of making that particular chapter fuckin 75k words on its own, i think i'm going to continue to struggle with it for a minute, ha!!!

20. What is something you wish more people noticed about this fic?

i just want people to acknowledge that the fiddlers and hacketts being related doesn't only make sense, it exPLAINS SO MANY OF THE PLOT HOLES IN TQ AND

i wish someone would go "OH THAT'S WHERE LAURA GOT THE EYEPA

i would love for anyone to notice that the first letter of every chapter spells out rick astley's never gonna give you up

hehehe okay, for real though, i'm genuinely so flattered and even touched that people have been reading and enjoying this fic at all, given it's (1) not shippy, (2) centered on a really difficult/uncomfortable family dynamic, (3) focusing on characters who are morally grey at best, (4) deeply, deeply ugly at times. that in and of itself is all that i could ask for, truly, because this is such a personal project and so much of my own stuff is sort of being worked through within it, so anytime anyone says anything about it, my heart grows three sizes <3

the only itty bitty thing i'll say, though, and it's not really me hoping people notice so much as i hope they'll realize as time goes on, is that...nothing in this fic is there accidentally. this is not a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants story, everything in like wringing blood has been planned out and put where it is for a very, very specific reason. if those reasons aren't apparent yet, it just means we haven't gotten there ;) so if there are details that have stuck out, if there are pieces-parts that feel...conspicuous, that's all by design. i have so many planning docs for this fuckin fic, i have been sowing so many seeds. can't wait until it's time to reap them :)

behind-the-scenes fic asks!

[lazaruspiss]

This guy's makin the rounds again! I'll say this is a bit of a simplified version of the issue but the main point still stands: you can't hold all media to the same standard as you hold children's media. They have different standards /for a reason./

I remember someone way back when adding a "except for suicide" and linking an article which... upon reading it makes me think that /they/ didn't really read it too thoroughly. I didn't say anything at the time but it's on my mind again now. Adding a cut here, content warning for discussion of suicide both IRL and fictional although I'll avoid being too graphic about anything.

(The article in question: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/media-coverage-suicide-contagion)

I'll start with a quote that stuck out to me: But experts caution that any individual's path to suicide is highly complex, and while media coverage may indeed be a factor, it is far from the only one.

Because that's the short version, isn't it? That yes, media can impact someone's life, but it's not some mystical nail in the coffin. Do you blame the straw for breaking the camel's back? Or do you blame all the baggage that came before it to make it so vulnerable?

And moving past that, a lot of the article focused on news coverage of real life suicides, which my original post wasn't about. Maybe this is confusing for those of us who are perhaps a bit too detached from the real world, or those who blur the line between the two, but "media coverage" is more often about news media than fictional media. When covering any real life tragedy I believe that certain codes of ethics and set guidelines are entirely necessary to maintain integrity and to ensure the well-being of viewers.

But there is a section on fictional media! And with it I offer you another quote from the article as a reread it to ensure I understand what it says to the best of my ability: Copycat suicides—or suicides that emulate another, often highly-publicized suicide—are widely considered to be a real phenomenon. But whether copycat suicides occur because of a particular piece of fictional media isn’t always clear-cut, and experts disagree on the influence of fictional depictions of suicide.

Copycat suicides in the context of real life suicides and real life media coverage are considered to be very real, copycat suicides related to fictional media are a bit more complicated to get into.

While I would recommend reading it yourself, and perhaps digging into other sources as well if you wish to learn more about the subject, I'll give you my summary of it.

News media holds a heightened responsibility when covering the suicides of real people, as mishandling has been seen to have real world consequences.

Fictional media has been criticized for the same thing, but it's impact is not near the level of real suicides. It makes sense, doesn't it? That the life of a real person on a news broadcast would be more impactful than the fiction we consume?

If the expected audience is young or otherwise considered impressionable then caution is heavily advised. I think any and all children's media should require caution for almost all it's subjects, from violence to advertisements. Kids are just much less likely to understand that depictions are not reality, as that is something that's learned over time.

So I didn't really see anything that would validate an "except for suicide" response on my original post. The article is far more in depth and covers much more, of course, but that's because it's a Serious Article about a Serious Subject and not like, a tumblr post complaining about people being annoying when they don't like something that wasn't really meant for them in the first place.

People know that the whole "don't portray [harmful action] because viewers might recreate it" thing is a rule for children's shows right? It's supposed to be shit like "don't show peppa pig playing with fire so we don't get sued if a kid watches it and burns their house down." Not like, fanfiction for adults.

[psychelis-new]

Hello. This is for the dream interpretation post. I had this dream yesterday. I'm asking about this because I usually don't remember any of my dreams except if it's the one I dream frequently or a really weird one that just stays with me the entire day. (A little context: I'm living with my grandfather and uncle and there's just the three of us).

It goes like this: I saw my grandfather's left eye really bloated. Like a transparent balloon filled with mayonnaise (sorry for the imagery), and I called my uncle so we could go to the hospital. (Grandfather recently had an operation on his right eye, so I believe it was mostly my subconscious). But before we left the house I asked my uncle "what about the girls? Who's gonna watch them?" There were twin sisters playing in our living room, they were 3-4 year olds maybe. I don't know any twins. I don't know any kids that age.

I'm single and I don't have any possibility of pregnancy at this point in my life.

So I'm actually asking about the girls. What does seeing twin girls in your dream mean? I know it's a really weird and short dream but it was just stuck in my head the entire day. I only had like 5 or 6 dreams that stuck with me in this way.

Thank you even if you don't answer this, I know it's just a weird little thing. Have a nice day. Take care.

Hello! Don't worry, most of the times dreams carry triggers shown through particular situations like yours, so it's all good. It's our unconscious mind's way to speak with us, so it may use even weird images or situations to communicate with our conscious mind and bring to surface what we're going through. The more something is unconscious/blocked inside of our mind, the weirder the dream and more hidden the message are.

Anyway. It could be that the surgery your grandfather had to go through in your waking/real life has awakened/triggered some emotional situation or wound inside of you. And your unconscious mind wanted to bring this to your knowledge with the dream. This is also why you ended up remembering this dream, while you usually forget most of them: it had a meaning worth realizing. Probably it wanted you to notice about some confusion over something or a difficulty or some type of *unconscious* disappointment/blockage or similar feeling. Maybe... you need to take care and hold control on others/feeling responsible of them while you'd like to feel less burdened and a little more free, in a way. But you also feel like you have no choice (it could be something you grow used to do but feel also restricted in)... This is basically the meaning I'd give to the two twins in your living room: feeling like you have to behave in a way but inside wanting to not have to do so, a difference in between your outside/relationships-related and private/inner-related life/emotions. Probably you also need to ground a bit more and be aware that even if something (possibly negative) happened and you couldn't prevent/control that, it wasn't your fault and you didn't have to do anything much. Try to see that differently or close with that, and let yourself feel a bit more at peace, if you can. Or at least try to start doing that, "plant this seed inside of you" by trying to not block your happiness.

Take care<3

[officialtayley]

i'm sorry but the amount of crazy takes i've seen on this topic is insane. while i'm pro-palestine i'm also very aware that every activism is selective because there is no way you can address every tragic and injustice happening in the world. because this conflict gets so much coverage some expect every public person to come out and say something about this particular issue. notice no one ask paramore about their stance on situation in yemen or about sharing sources to help people there… like their lives are worth less than palestinians or jewish people or ukrainian people, and barely anyone talks about them. people dare to say that them not speaking up about this particular thing makes all things they've done in activism as unauthentic even some say "marketing tactic". no, activism is not black or white. no, you should not erase or discount their efforts to for example support minorities (i can't believe how many people try to do it... saying they won't care about anything activism-related paramore will do in the future as to them it just won't matter) because they're silent about global conflict which they historically never talk about… frankly these kind of opinions are more ignorant about what's happening in the world cuz it makes it feel like this is the only thing in the world that deserves attention. being political and making political statements during shows or via music or via their social does not equal having to speak up on every issue that people want them to, it means you speak up when you have capacity and you have strong views and beliefs and you feel like you have something meaningful to say and your voice does matter in this whole thing. i'll say one personal thing - i do what is in my capacities to help palestinian people but as i live close to ukraine so the war there hit me really hard as some of my closest friends were stuck there. while every tragic makes me feel just so terrible as i'm just very empathetic person but that time i could actually go and help trying to make a difference that shows, right? because in this case i repost stuff, i donate but i don't see a direct impact on these people, unfortunately all i see is more innocent people being killed. so to the point - i helped organizing refugees' situation in my country and even despite the fact there were times when we really struggled with money/other resources to help these people i never in my mind i had a thought that i wish paramore had posted a donation link.

and i get what you're saying, but tbh it just goes to shows that when it comes to worldwide things it's very selective. i get we tend to care more about what happens in our own countries or continents as we are closer to it and it absolutely then means it gets 10x more coverage too, but i think the main issue is that when you make using your platform a very big part of who you are and what you stand for then actually maybe you should be trying to speak up for more than just idk what happens in the US. your activism shouldn't just stick to your home country. they want to act like they're aware of global issues and yet very, very rarely speak up about ANY. no one is wishing they'd throw up a donation link, but i think people are just tired of their silence, not just on this particular thing, rather many things and eventually it builds and this is what's making people sort of become annoyed. i also don't agree it means their activism in the past has been for marketing, i think they absolutely meant it, people are just frustrated.