#this post is cal approved

[ball-of-butter]

youre like the only account i look at on here for red queen content (specifically maven) so please go full psychological analysis on maven please. i love your posts they itch my brain perfectly

omygosh anon 🤭 tyyyy tyyyy

theres so much to say about maven and its kinda crazy considering he doesn’t get that much actual page time. so keep in mind that many people could have different interpretations of his character, since he is quite elusive. and i may or may notttt be biassed idk.

the first thing i believe: he's a character that, for all his supposed motivations, had no ambition or dream of his own. he was a complete vessel of his mother’s spite, so he makes for a pretty interesting paradox. mare was haunted by a ‘false��� maven that didn't exist (debatable). cal was haunted by an ‘erased’ maven that used to exist. what is maven haunted by? everything and everyone? he’s a ghost himself, he’s the one who usually did the haunting, but even when you get his POV in the books, there’s a tragedy in the negative space you find. there are clear holes in his psyche that he also subconsciously attempts to fill (his memories always fight to bubble to the surface, but they invoke feelings he can’t feel anymore) and never can. despite how pissed off he is at everyone and everything, he so very clearly yearns for love and approval, to the point where he is absolutely delusional about it. there he was, shocked that mare would reject him after he imprisoned and betrayed her and the scarlet guard. here’s him outraged that anabel lerolan would side with cal after he plotted her son’s murder.

elara basically sculpted a monster, and i don’t think that can be debated since its pretty clearly stated in text. even maven knew what she took from him and the extent of the abuse— but he didn't care because she gave him the love he craved. she couldn’t fill it all, if maven’s obsession with mare was anything to go by. i do think elara genuinely loved and adored him, but i don’t know if i would use the word ‘enabler’ for her because it seems too soft a word. maven is elara. elara dies and maven can’t survive on his own for long without her. he was her iron fist in a way, but neither had much interest in norta as a country like most scheming for the throne usually do– which i find so interesting. it wasn’t political, only personal.

now then there lies the debate of choice— some maven fans are completely comfortable heaping all of the blame onto elara and calling it a day. but i think even elara was failed in a similar way maven was. red queen is cool because it shows how evil is encouraged and nurtured in oppressive societies, how certain individuals even in privileged positions will be abused and neglected, how vices are taught to be hidden rather than treated and how violence is perpetuated as the surest, most permanent decree. every character is affected by this system in some way, and i could talk about it for years but i’ll save you the time. my point is that this would apply to maven, but that doesn’t make him void of choice. it’s sort of predictable that he would make the terrible choices he did in the series considering he never had the chance to escape what predestined narrative was already planned for him, but no one was physically forcing him to burn his initial into mare. no one was physically forcing him to try slaughter a whole race of people. no one physically forced him to blow up naercey, or taunt cal after forcing him to murder his dad, or psychologically torture mare when he kept her as prisoner. yes, there’s nuance but maven is also much too comfortable with being a terrible person, because thats what ultimately earns him love, respect and approval.

i don’t think maven could’ve been saved, not because 'the damage was too bad,' but because he had no desire to be saved, and no one but cal had wanted to put in the effort to save him. i always find it interesting how cal secretly resented mare for killing maven, even though it was such a longtime coming, and he would never voice it because considering all maven had done to her, she had more than the right. but i don’t want to yap so much about maven’s relationship with cal because i’ll be here forever. nor do i want to talk too much about his relationship with mare. i'll only say that when i was talking about his death scene i did mention how much of an impact both of them had on each other, how maven was so scary to mare because he was a viable twisted path that represented the worst of her. i think mare could’ve been (my biassed interpretation) a path for him too, but he was so far gone by the second book and especially after elara’s death that he never considered it (would’ve been too late for him then anyway). i have some thoughts on the chances of maven rehabilitating if he had the tools and will to. some thoughts. they won’t go here though.

lastly i just want to link this post which had super interesting additions by @lucy-the-cat that delves into maven from a psychological perspective. its sooooo well written and i still think about it to this day.

last thing i wanna do is glaze a bit so im just gonna 😭 its refreshing to see this sort of villain be portrayed as an mmc who isn’t attractively suave and super misunderstood and depressed and supremely intelligent for what he does– maven is intelligent and sad, but he's presented as a floundering, insecure, delusional brat that the fmc understands entirely. something so refreshing in how he can only either be hated, and at best, pitied.

[wildlife4life]

Seven (+) Sentence Sunday

Tagged by super amazing @exhuastedpigeon @cal-daisies-and-briars @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @glorious-spoon @wikiangela @daffi-990 @tizniz @devirnis @watchyourbuck @hoodie-buck @loserdiaz @spotsandsocks and @diazsdimples. Thank you all so much!

Alright, so I know haven't been as active since dropping the first chapter of NFL Buck. I've just been sort of down because that same day, the Super Bowl Champs had their parade and rally, and just after it ended there was a mass shooting. My younger sister was there with some friends and they got away unharmed, but when she didn't answer my message for a long 30 minutes, I truly thought the worst. I've just been so sad and angry for Kansas City, for the US really and I just couldn't get into the spirit of writing. I'm not getting into the politics of it all today and my sister is coming for a visit soon, so I'm feeling marginally better. KC Strong.

First chapter of NFL Buck has been dropped, but everything else I've posted for this fic can be found here. Here is a snippet from the Eddie Begin's arc of NFL Buck.

Hurricane Harvey was relentless for almost four days, bullying southern Texas with unforgiving wind and an exurbanite amount of rain. Houston fire department and so many others worked day and night to help those who had not evacuated.  It was absolute chaos, and it blew through Eddie’s entire life. The storms had wreaked havoc on the cell towers, which meant service was spotty to none and radios became the main source of communication for rescuers. By some miracle, though, the internet connection at the firehouse held strong. It was slow and glitched out here and there, reminding Eddie too much of his time in Afghanistan. He watched his infant son grow up through a screen, with his very upset wife barely holding on and his parents hovering nearby, souring the video calls even further. Christopher was no longer a whimpering baby in his mother’s lap but looking at his saddened son on a glitching iPad screen with a tense Maddie sitting beside him, was too familiar.  Add in the argument he had with Buck just before, and the threat of danger just outside the firehouse, Eddie was back to being a scared 19-year-old in war riddled country. “Dad, grandma said we’re not going to visit Buck anymore. That he’s too busy. And Maddie tried to call him, but he didn’t answer and…” The eight-year old’s voice trails off, his lips trembling. Eddie bites his inner cheek hard. This was on him. He gave into his mother’s worries and demands about traveling through Texas during the hurricane.  Helena was too stubborn and being his mother, she knew every damn button to push, and Eddie was tired of fighting.  So, he reluctantly agreed to cancel the visit and his mother grinned a little too sharply before stating, “I’m sure Maddie will enjoy having her brother to herself.” Another ploy to take Christopher and Eddie fucking fell for it. Then his mother took it a step further by graciously telling Buck and Maddie herself, that Christopher would no longer be joining them in Dallas and to enjoy their time together for as long as they need it. Eddie knew his mother didn’t approve of his relationship with Buck, more so than his previous one with Shannon. The only reason she kept her mouth shut was the potential back lash of upsetting Christopher. But she already succeeded in having a hand in driving away Shannon and she probably believed she could do the same with Evan.

With this fic, there are a lot of canon events with twists. The usual timeline does not exists. But I hope you all enjoyed!

Tagging (no pressure): @bekkachaos @theotherbuckley @lover-of-mine @buddierights @try-set-me-on-fire @jesuisici33 @jeeyuns @aroeddiediaz @giddyupbuck @rainbow-nerdss @thewolvesof1998 @eddiescowboy @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @athenagranted @evanbegins @elvensorceress @malewifediaz @911onabc @911-on-abc @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @thekristen999 @spagheddiediaz @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @doublecheekeddiaz @buck-coded @prosperdemeter2 @lemonzestywrites @gayedmundodiaz @transboybuckley @nmcggg

[radiosummons]

Time-travel/fix it AUs with Cal Kestis as the main protag will always be funny to me, especially when authors pair him up with the Disaster Lineage (usually as Obi-Wan's new padawan since Ahsoka ended up apprenticing under Anakin).

Mostly because:

1) I will always fuck with AUs where Obi-Wan gets a new padawan, regardless of whoever said padawan is.

2) The sheer comedic and potential angst/anxiety of everyone trying to navigate having an actual tiny, baby Jedi on the battlefield with them.

3) Cal just mentally trying to process the whole time-travel thing on top of being a padawan to HIGH GENERAL, JEDI MASTER, COUNCIL MEMBER OBI-WAN FUCKING KENOBI!!!!!!!

4) The opportunity for Anakin to struggle with possible feelings of jealousy over Obi-Wan having a new padawan and maybe slowly coming to accept Cal as a Jedi sibling (with helpful, or not so helpful input from Ahsoka-lol).

5) Obi-Wan having to wrangle yet another droid loving padawan with very obvious mental and trust issues and OH GOD HE'S JUST AS TINY AS ANAKIN WAS AND HOW COULD THE COUNCIL HAVE EVER APPROVED THIS-

But, most of all, what I love about this particular AU is the additional, optional layer of Cal somehow knowing (usually through psychometry) that Anakin is Darth Vader and just having to struggle to interact with his new Master's former padawan without letting anyone else know, that he knows--

--which then leads to baby Cal Kestis meeting Anakin the Skywalker for the first time and just sort of blurting out something to the equivlaent of "... don't fucking talk to me" and then screaming internally when everyone inevitably reacts to Obi-Wan's new padawan clearly hating/not taking a liking to Anakin at all.

Obviously, Ahsoka would think this is hilarious, Anakin would take it super personally and Obi-Wan would just feel exasperated/delighted/resigned at the fact that he has yet another rude padawan to take care of.

*fics recs under the cut*

For anyone who might be interested in reading fics with this particular AU, I can't help but recommend these two in particular:

a distant fire is burning by e_va (AO3)/@e-vasong (blog)

(I Promise) This Time Will Be Different by Nation_Ustria

Make sure to give these authors lots of love. They've done an excellent job with their writing :3

Update: Since this post has started to sorta blow up (at least way more than I expected WOW), I just wanted to take the opportunity to shout out another fave Time-travel/Fix-It fic that I also adore called:

Lost Property Box by Young_and_spitefilled/@constantlymisspelled

It's not a Cal joins the Disaster Lineage fic, but instead sees an older Cal Kestis return to a timeline way before the events of Phantom Menace. And what do you know, he gets to interact with baby Obi-Wan and other child versions of the Jedi he looked up to as a baby Jedi himself. It's pretty great. Definitely check it out :3

[featureenvyproductions]

my thoughts on how to do Basically Kinda cel animation but cheap as fuck. strap in this is a long post and there are many swears PART 1

Really long intro

ok so I was animating my thing the other month right, and I was going to infodump on how I do cel animation without the right training from the comfort of my chaotic mess of an office. But I got into it and I was like "my god, I'm going to have surgery in a few months and my gofundme has accumulated dust, I can't be buying fucking $1/each cels and more paint". that got me thinking like....MOST people are probably like "wow I'm broke as shit I can't do this" even if they want to, but I think you can, so I took a couple weekends to hurl myself face first into seeing if I could do this - the version for if you're broke as fuck or don't want to spend money.

Obviously if you want something good quality AND you don't want to make this a struggle, splurge on good supplies like real cels and paint if you have the money. But if you don't or you just want to fuck around, this info dump is for you.

Disclaimer: I'm not a professional (if you can't already tell lol 👀👀👀) and I have no idea if this is what cal arts would approve of or whatever the shit but to be brutally honest, I also don't give a fuck, they're too busy fulfilling their role as the gatekeepers of the human-expression-to-corporate-tax-write-off pipeline to watch your heartfelt if low res artistic expression so come join me in this pit and let's just do whatever the fuck we want with whatever we got.

My goal is to give you ideas so you too can do the fucking thing. It's not gonna be Snow White. It's not gonna even be Steamboat Willie. That's fine. The point is to do the thing anyway and make some shit you wouldn't have tried otherwise. (And share it with me here on the internet bc I'm bored and depressed. If you feel like it) because sure you can go and pull up your 2d animation software and rig some shit up and blow anything I can do by hand out of the water in about 3 min flat but THATS NOT THE POINT IS IT THE POINT IS THAT YOU TOO WANT TO EXPERIENCE ART AS SUFFERING AND MAYBE ALSO UNDERSTAND THAT SOFTWARE DOESNT MAKE ART FORMS OBSOLETE.

Anyway let me just stow this soap box under the counter real quick.

There.

K So I'm gonna go through how I tackled this challenge - cheap ass cel animation - starting with prep, then the drawing steps, then getting the shit into some form where you can put all the frames together.

Prerequisite suggestion

This ramble assumes that you at least vaguely understand how drawing works and understand the basic idea of how animation works. How to animate overall - like the principals of animation- is a wee bit outside the scope of this post, in no small part because I know there are a BILLION people out there who understand those principles and execute them better than I do. I think I followed some of Aaron Blaise's videos to learn, but there are also other tutorials on YouTube. I also just learned from watching pencil tests and filming references of my long suffering friend in which i gave her instructions like "ok NOW put your hands on your hips dramatically in the direction of that rock". But yeah like I said the principals of animation themselves are better off taught by someone who isn't me (and I'm honestly still practicing).

Alright that's enough intro. Let's start with setup

FINALLY THE INGREDIENTS LIST

Most of the stuff in this ?tutorial? is really probably honestly laying around your house right now, especially if you live with any 50+ people who have ever had an office job. But I will talk about costs anyway in case you're starting from scratch. I found pretty much all of the stuff at Dollar Tree, and yeah, it's not an ideal place to go, but also this is a tutorial for if you're broke. And also unlike things that you have to repeatedly buy that cost you more per unit in the long run, most things you are using here are one time necessities, so you really are saving money. ....Now I'm in the US. If you're not in the US, I think there are also similar stores in other places....It'll be similar to something like if there's a shop that sells stuff for 1-2 euro or whatever. Things at dollar tree range from about 1-5 bucks, but I managed this with the $1.25 items (some were actually less than that but I lost track of my receipt).

You will need the following shit for part 1 of this vaguely educational series:

The smallest cheapest strand of fairy lights you can get. Mine were battery powered, doesn't really matter either way. If you can get white ones get white ones. (I could Not find white ones :/)*

Batteries if they need batteries *

An 8.5x11 drawing pad (at the dollar store I got the 64 pg one)

A translucent container with a flat bottom. I got a little 8x12 storage basket for this. You probably can't get anything big at the dollar store but try to get something with a bottom as close to the drawing pad size as possible (it's ok if it's a little smaller) *

Scissors (or a knife/craft knife you don't mind destroying. You may want safety goggles if you don't have them. These also exist in dollar tree)**

Clear tape**

Something small and tube like. Maybe plastic straws. I actually used flagpoles from those tiny flags, you know the ones (ok these in the picture are NOT from dollar tree and i will provide excuses later on in this document. You could also use straws i think)

Hole punch

Super glue (or the strongest adhesive you can otherwise get if this isn't available to you)**

pencils (I don't know why I didn't take a picture of them but you're on the gay art website I feel like you've probably seen a pencil in your life)

sharpie (you'll use it more later but you might as well get it now)

A pack of sheet protectors (you may or may not need more depending on how many frames you're doing but for now one will do but for this first part you only need one)

* this is part of an optional component but you WANT TO HAVE IT TRUST ME

**if you are REALLY not in the mood to buy these things and you don't need the tape/scissors for the above optional item, you can technically just go to FedEx and like make a cheap b/w self serve photocopy of something to avoid the employees yelling at you and then quickly go use their choppy thing and the tape and scissors they have laying around in the self serve area. They may have a hole punch too idk

And now FOR THE MAKING PART

First thing to make: substitute peg bar

Some things I'm doing here are optional, but the one that really isn't is the peg bar. That's the thing that keeps all your stuff lined up. Without this your frames are going to be moving all over the place and movements won't register the right way. It's got (if you couldn't guess) pegs on it. And these match up with the holes in your paper or cels.

This is a real peg bar

I think this is like 16-20 bucks if you buy it on Amazon, maybe a smidge cheaper if you go through someone else (I will discuss traditional animation supplies for when you're NOT broke as shit in another post). The problem is that this is for acme punched paper (notice how two of the holes are long). Yes it helps things register better, but we're going to be punching our own paper and a 700 dollar acme punch is NOT in our budget today.

There is a version of a peg bar you can get that fits normal hole punch holes. But this isn't the buy things the easy way tutorial, this is the broke as fuck tutorial. So we're going to be making this shit.

Steps to make the thing (I'm sorry about this list not being numbered apparently even when you fuck with the html directly you can't put images in a numbered list on this webbed site):

Ok first we need some cardboard or cardstock. Something sturdier than regular paper. OH GUESS WHAT WE HAVE THAT. If you don't have other stuff to use laying around, take all the backing cardstock off the drawing pad. Be careful to keep as much of the adhesive stuff left on the actual paper as possible.

We're going to cut that into strips. Keep them as straight as possible. They should be like 1/2-3/4 in wide.

(You may want to skip ahead in the steps a bit to see how we're using this so when we use tape in this step you can avoid putting it where the pegs go. You don't have to but things will stick better) Stack them and tape them together as tightly as possible. This will be the bar part of the bar.

Take one of your page protectors and place it on the bar and try to center the middle hole on the bar. Trace that hole onto the bar and pick two others to trace (pick circle ones that fit entirely onto the bar).

Now we make the pegs. You will use the flags for this (or straws, see flags and note in the Ingredients TM list) So I actually had these pride flags from Walmart (please remember we are trying to stay dirt fucking cheap here, I promise I don't usually go to Walmart at all.) Bc my dollar tree doesn't have them yet, HOWEVER I KNOW THEY WILL BECAUSE IVE GOTTEN THEM BEFORE so technically by the time I finish writing this you will be able to get them there most likely. Now the great thing about cheap flags is they're cheap. That means they use shitty hollow plastic tubes as poles. That's great for us because we are going to snip off the ends and use them as pegs. You want to measure up a 1/2 inch from the bottom and cut them. Do this on 3 SEPARATE flags, because you want at least one perfectly flat end for each (that's likely the factory end, so keep track of which end that is). You can also use plastic straws for this probably, or paper sticks for thick lolly pops. The idea is whatever you use needs to fit the page protector holes.

Take your super glue or other adhesive and put a little on the "pegs" and attach them (factory side down) to the bar where you marked the holes in step 4. (note that the pic shows that I taped both this and the thing you're making next to the leftover cardstock to keep it all together, which is an option but you don't have to if you like to suffer)

Let this dry while we work on the next part.

Second thing to make: "light box" (I use this term COMICALLY loosely. Optional but you will have an easier life if you have one)

This is the LED Light pad I use for animating. If you can afford like 30 bucks, just splurge and get one. It helps you cheat and see your previous pencil drawings under the current one so you can better draw the current frame. (And before you ask yes I know it looks like I dug it out of apocalypse aftermath rubble I will not be taking criticism at this time,,,,)

If you can't afford that, we're going to MacGyver together a little apparatus that works basically the same way. The "we have LED light box at home" if you will.

(I mean you can also just tape a peg bar to a window and go at it which is free but your arms are going to hurt drawing like that. You can also just get really good at page flipping while drawing. I am NOT good at that )

Steps to make the thing:

Remember how I made you get a plastic container with as flat of a bottom as possible? (It can be flat on the inside or outside bottom doesn't matter) We're going to mutilate that. Put on your safety glasses if you have them and you're scissor-cutting something that tends to crack rather than bend because the occasional plastic shard will fly off. Cut the sides off the container. It's probably easier with a knife but I was all about suffering. Try to get as much of the sides off as possible. It's ok to leave some of them if that's the side you'll have facing down. (For me my container had an annoying hard to cut rim on the bottom so I just decided to cut the sides off entirely and have that side down).

Take your fairy lights out and unwind them. If you have battery powered ones... Pry the cheap little battery compartment open (you can see there's a screw driver there so use one if you have it but this plastic is so cheap you'll probably be able to just bend the cover and pry it open and rotate it out of the way tbh) and stick the batteries in. We do this first to make sure the lights work before we waste time using them.

Cut a little notch in the side of your plastic piece where the wires can go.

Flip your plastic piece so that the side facing you is the side you want facing down the rest of the time when you're actually drawing on this thing.

Feed the wire from the battery box (or coming off the plug if no battery box) through the little notch , with the battery box OUTSIDE the plastic area, and tape the wire in place.

Now arrange the strand so you have as even as possible a distribution of lights all over the plastic, and tape the wires down to hold the arrangement in place.

Flip it back over and switch it on. Voila shitty light box. Now you can't put a lot of PRESSURE on this but it'll do the job. You can see like 1-2 previous images through it too believe it or not. And this is with these horrible yellow lights I found, if you have brighter ones it should be more effective. (Now switch it off so you don't eat battery life)

Now let's get the paper ready

Now that the first part of your setup is done you need shit to do your pencil tests/preliminary animation on. (The thing you'll eventually trace onto the cel)

Take the paper you removed the backing from. We're going to mark and punch it. We'll be punching from the ADHESIVE/PERFORATED SIDE. This is important because it will help keep the pages and therefore holes aligned when we take the hole punch after it.

Here's how you go about it for the best result in my humble opinion:

If you made your peg bar as above, you've already removed the cardstock cover of your cheap drawing pad so go to step 2. If you haven't, then remove the cardstock cover/backing from your pad now. Try to keep the adhesive intact as much as you possibly can (basically you want to keep the pages from slipping when you eventually punch them so they need to stay in a neat little stack. If you're having trouble or you're having to use a different type of paper such as ink jet paper, you can probably also achieve this with binder clips in a pinch- is that what they're called? the black things? look like 90s butterfly hair things if you squint? Just make sure the paper is stacked evenly and the stack is held firmly together. )

Still trying to keep the adhesive holding the stack together as much as possible, carefully separate the paper into 2 or 3 smaller stacks. (ignore the hole markings in this picture I took it after I realized I needed to demonstrate this step)

Take one stack and put one of the sheet protectors over it, lining the side with the holes up so that that edge is along the perforation in the drawing paper (if you're using a different type of paper than the dollar store pad, line the edge of the sheet protector up with the edge of the paper, but move it about 1/8th to 1/4th inch away from the edge. basically you don't want the holes right on the edge of the paper). Trace the holes onto the paper with a pen or pencil. (Note: if you're using a manufactured peg bar, use that to determine the hole placement instead of a sheet protector - it'll be easier to modify the holes in sheet protectors if necessary later).

Carefully, keeping the stack of paper all lined up and together, punch each of your three holes with the hole punch. (The reason you made stacks is that do you really want to do this with each individual page? I didn't think so)

Ok Let's Try It Out!!

Alright here's a shot of me using this to draw some frames from my animation about some creepy deer (coming soon to a feature envy productions official tumblr near you). You take some paper and carefully place it on the pegs, sketch a key frame, and then place another sheet over that on the pegs, switch on the "light box" and sketch the next key frame, referencing the first one. (Oh and of course make sure you're drawing on the smooth side - not the side you taped the lights to). Like I said, this is definitely like. If you have no other options you might as well try it - You generally can see through about 3 sheets of paper in a dark room. At least the key areas. So you should be able to in between with this setup as well. Not great but hey! If you're on a strict budget, you can still do this, and it beats buying a bunch of expensive shit on Amazon. I'm pretty confident that most people have almost all of these items laying around their house like I said, but let's break it down - If you're like me and you animate at 24 fps but on 3s, that's an average of 8 frames per second. So for each pad of dollar store paper, you're getting about 8 seconds of animation (maybe more, maybe less). You can factor that in when deciding how many drawing pads to purchase (keep in mind if your backgrounds are very simple, you may be able to use the additional cardstock for this purpose as well instead of using up sheets of paper).

Stay tuned because we're not done yet!

Part 2 will be Inking and painting. (Note: on the day I'm writing this I have a placeholder post there, but if it's still a placeholder when you look, please keep checking, I will add the second part, I just didn't want someone to have to HUNT for it if you're looking at this from like a year from now) Yes ink and paint. You didn't think I was getting you all excited for a vine's worth of pencil tests were you? no we're doing the whole expensive process from pencils to final product. And I'm going to show you the cheapest way I could figure out.

[my-name-is-apollo]

Two things! 1. Thanks for reporting on Apollo, he is my favorite god by far!! 😭

2. In an old post where you talked about the type of relationship that the main gods had with each other you said that there was a lot to talk about the relationship between Zeus AND Apollo!! Can you take advantage and tell it?

I can definitely talk about Apollo and Zeus!

Basically, Apollo is Zeus' favorite, his pride and joy. I know a lot of people believe Athena is the favorite, but I say Apollo is just as beloved, if not more and I'll tell you why I think so. I'll start by putting together various myths that surround both of them.

1) Zeus' protectiveness

Starting with Apollo's (and Artemis') birth, even though Zeus didn't directly help Leto, in one version, he asked Zephyrus to carry Leto away to Poseidon, so that Poseidon could protect her. He also managed to calm down Hera by the time the twins were born.

And when later Apollo killed Python, according to Pindar, Gaia wanted to send him to tartarus. But obviously that didn't happen and we can assume that it was because Zeus intervened on his son's behalf.

In Euripides' play, there's a particularly cute segment where Apollo, as a little boy, went to Zeus, wrapped his arms around him and supplicated him to deal with Gaia who has been interfering with his oracular business. And of course Zeus agrees and makes Gaia lose her prophetic influence on mortals.

There's also a version of Coronis' tale where Ischys, the guy with whom Coronis had cheated on Apollo with, got killed by Zeus.

In the satires written by Lucian, Zeus got defensive when Momos made fun of Apollo.

Lastly, this is just my interpretation, but in stories where Zeus intervenes in a couple of fights - the Apollo vs Heracles , Apollo vs Idas - makes me feel like Zeus did it because he was overly protective of Apollo (just like did with Athena - Pallas)

2) The way Zeus appreciates Apollo

In Iphigenis in Tauris, when Apollo killed Python and took over the delphic oracle for himself, Zeus is shown to have been proud that Apollo has started serious business at such a young age.

The opening of Homer's hymn to Pythian Apollo shows us Zeus welcoming Apollo and personally pouring a drink to his son. How sweet is that :3

In another scene where Apollo is entertaining the gods, Zeus and Leto together are shown proudly watching their son (Hera is absent oop-).

In the Iliad, whenever he commands Apollo to do something, he calls him "Dear Phoebus" (I've also seen it translated as "friend Phoebus) which is very sweet and shows that Zeus is quite fond of Apollo.

And in Lucian's work, he also appreciated Apollo by telling Momos how much work his son has to do everyday, and how difficult the job is for him.

3) Zeus grants a lot of Apollo's requests

even when he's personally offended. Take the story of king Periphas, whose reputation had personally offended Zeus and he wanted to destroy the king and his entire kingdom, but when Apollo asked Zeus to not do that, he ceased from killing them. In the case of Prometheus too, Zeus agreed to free the Titan when Apollo begged for it.

When Apollo appointed Hermes as the messenger god, Zeus approved that.

He also resurrected Asclepius on Apollo's request, in spite of Apollo killing the cyclops .

And here is what sealed my belief that Apollo is no less of a favorite than Athena: once Athena was using mantic dice to give out prophecies, and Apollo was unhappy with this. He complained to Zeus about it and Zeus made dice divination inferior (and Athena just threw away the dice lol)

Now this is again my opinion, but the whole thing with "Apollo tricking the Fates into postponing Admetus' death" is quite a serious offense, but surprisingly Apollo does not get punished for that. I like to think that that's because Zeus gave him the permission for that (maybe not openly, but more discreetly).

4) Apollo has some favorite child privileges.

He is said to be sitting on the immediate right of Zeus (according to Callimachus), he gets to use Zeus' lightning bolts and the aegis too (like Athena does), and he is the only one allowed to read the will/mind of Zeus.

5) Apollo acts as Zeus' right hand man

Now this could be said of Hermes and Athena also too, but I'm pointing this out because people tend to easily forget it. In the Iliad, Zeus sent Apollo to help the Trojans, since he was secretly rooting for Troy ,in spite of taking a neutral stance, and Athena was fighting against them. He also entrusted his son Sarpedon's body to Apollo and asked him to clean it up and hand it over to Thanatos and Hypnos.

In Orphic theogony, a similar responsibility is given to Apollo - he is asked by Zeus to bury the remains of Zagreus.

In the account given by Plato on soulmates, after Zeus tore apart the humans, he tasked Apollo with stitching them and bringing them back to life.

And of course the whole deal with Apollo's oracles is to pass on the will of Zeus to the mortals. Apollo is basically serving as an extension of Zeus. Arguably, that is one of the most important responsibilities and Apollo was the one Zeus trusted it with. He also actively prevents other gods from taking away this role from Apollo.

6) Apollo's rebellious nature and how Zeus deals with it.

In Alcaeus' hymn, when Apollo is born, Zeus adorns him with a golden headband, gives him a golden chariot driven by swans and asks him to go to Delphi to establish his laws. But Apollo instead just takes the chariot and flies away to Hyperborea and stays there for a whole year (rebellious from the get go XD) Of course, Zeus doesn't punish Apollo for this.

(I'm not bringing up Apollo and Poseidon's servitude under Laomedon because even though it is believed to have been a result of Apollo and Poseidon rebelling against Zeus, we don't really have evidence to say that that was the case. I only vaguely remember there being evidence of it in some scholia but I'm not able to find it at the moment so. Also in the Iliad especially, the coup - whose participants are Hera, Athena and Poseidon- and the servitude under Laomedon are clearly two separate, unrelated events)

But when Apollo killed Cyclopes in retaliation for Zeus killing Asclepius, Zeus intended to throw him into tartarus. This was an instance where he was clearly very upset with his son, and probably felt betrayed too. Even so, he changed his mind thanks to Leto, which makes me feel like he did not fully intend to carry out that punishment, and it was more a decision made in the spur of the moment. And as the alternate punishment, he made Apollo serve a slave and spend time on the Earth. This is in contrast with say, Hera - who was tied and dangled above tartarus. Zeus could have done something similar with Apollo because while one could argue that exiling and making Apollo a slave is pretty humiliating, it's still not as bad as being hung over tartarus. Besides, Zeus made Apollo serve under a very kind hearted king (and by the looks of it, Apollo actually enjoyed his time there, being in love with Admetus and all). So I think even after all that had happened, Zeus still forgave Apollo and went easy on him and even agreed to grant godhood to Asclepius on Apollo's request.

7) Apollo as Zeus' eldest son

Apollo is Zeus' first son in Hesoid's Theogony (born after 19 daughters). Putting it in the context of ancient Greek society, that would make Apollo quite important for Zeus in a way that no other child can be. And while Homer doesn't explicitly say that Apollo is the first son, it is quite evident in his works (Homeric hymn to Apollo, the Iliad) that Apollo's image is that of a first born son, - he is the only one who has access to Zeus' will, all the gods except Zeus trembled when he entered Olympus, Zeus often turned to him for help during the trojan war.

("Apollo" by Fritz Graf)

Of course, Zeus is never going to give away his throne to anyone and Apollo has no serious intent of overthrowing his father, but some scholars share the view that Homer paints Apollo as a potential usurper of Zeus, but also emphasizes how Apollo is very much on Zeus' side, using his powers for Zeus and not against him.

(^Source for this bit: "The Homeric Hymns: Interpretative Essays" by Andrew Faulkner & "Nursemaid to a Monster: Typhon and Pytho in the Homeric Hymn to Apollo" by Kelly E. Shannon)

Moreover, Apollo being Zeus' first son and sort of an unofficial crown prince would neatly explain all the ways in which Zeus favors Apollo over his other children.

Lastly, this is my take on them: They both obviously have a strong bond founded on love and respect for each other. The road wasn't and isn't always smooth for them. I like to think that Apollo held some bitterness towards Zeus for not helping Leto (before eventually letting it go), but he still wants his father's attention and approval. In return, Zeus has complete trust in Apollo, which is why he entrusts a lot of important duties to him. After all, he knows very well of Apollo's struggles and his efforts to rise to power. Zeus might sometimes be more stern on Apollo than he is on the others, but that's because he doesn't want anyone saying anything unpleasant about his son. I also think he doesn't entirely understand or approve of Apollo's extreme attachment to some humans, but he is ready to turn a blind eye as long as nothing drastic is happening (not without his permission at least lol). It's easy for some people to call Zeus a bad father, but we should also remember that despite being knowledgeable and wise, Apollo can be a difficult child to deal with - he is haughty, reckless. Messes with primordial deities and cosmic order, wears his heart on his sleeve, forgets his duties when he falls in love. It's like he is a perpetual teenager not only in appearance, but also at his heart lol and Zeus does try his best to deal with it in the best way possible :') But they do get along well most of the times and no matter how bad their once in a while conflicts can get, I think nothing is irreconcilable :)

(Here's a post where I've linked sources for a lot of the myths I've mentioned. If there's anything you want to know the source for, let me know)

[eldritchelfwriter]

WIP Wednesday

Thanks for the tag @sorceresssundries !

All right, normally I don't post actual WIP's because I like being super secretive about upcoming chapters. HOWEVER. I'm going to throw caution to the wind and give you a lil slice of an (unpublished and very early draft) Aylin/Isobel AU idea I came up with a few weeks ago. Is this a fic you'd be interested to read, if I continued it? Let me know in the comments.

~~~

“So that’s it? You’re just off?” Jeh’lar says, raising her eyebrows at Aylin.

Aylin shrugs her bag over her shoulder, rapidly running through her mind all the last-minute things she’d needed to tie up. There is no paperwork left unfinished, no duties left undone, no promises left unkept. Her slate is clean and she’s free to go.

“That’s right, I’m off,” Aylin says.

“You’re not even going to commiserate with your favourite sergeant, who has to see the Minth this morning?” Jeh’lar says with a hint of a whine.

Aylin purses her lips but says nothing. She does not approve of the nickname the rest of the unit have given their new squadron commander, Lieutenant Colonel Minthara, but saying something about it would earn her no friends. She has a suspicion Jeh’lar was the one who started the nickname in the first place.

“My commiserations, Jeh’lar,” she says with an ironic smile. “Although, have you considered it might be good news?”

Jeh’lar rolls her eyes. “It’s never good news with the Minth.”

The Lt Col rules the squadron with an iron fist. The discipline is not something Aylin minds, though her cold manner chafes with some of the others.

“You’ll be fine, Jeh’lar,” she says. “Just be on your best behaviour and do not, for gods sake, call her the Minth to her face.”

“Yeah,” Jeh’lar says sheepishly. “All right. I’m just stalling you, coz I’ll miss you, Moon Angel.”

“Of course you will,” Aylin says, clapping her on the shoulder. “Try not to blow anything up while I’m gone.”

She turns to leave.

“How long are you gone for?” Jeh’lar calls out to her.

“Three weeks,” Aylin calls back, without turning around.

All around her, the rest of the base is waking up and getting ready to get to back work. A part of her itches to join them and take her place amongst the hive, but the hive will just have to go on without her while she keeps her feet on the ground for the next three weeks.

She signs herself out, and then she is walking out of the base of the 53rd Fighter Wing with her bag slung over her shoulder, a brilliant yellow and orange sunrise reflecting on her aviators.

A familiar old Ford Focus is parked and waiting for her. And an even more familiar someone is waving out the driver’s window madly at her. “Aylin! Aylin!”

Someone else is yelling from the backseat window: “Oi you! Get in here will you!”

A smile spreads across Aylin’s face, the first genuine one in a long time. Lia opens the driver’s door and crosses the last few metres to wrap Aylin a hug.

“I always forget how bloody ripped you are! It’s like hugging a statue!”

“Hello to you too,” Aylin says, smiling. “My thanks for coming to get me.”

“Lia you are letting all the cold air in would you hurry up and both get in the car?” Lia’s kid brother Cal, who isn’t so much a kid brother any more, yells from the backseat.

“Shut it will you!” Lia yells back, in the manner of exasperated older siblings. “All right, get in then,” she says to Aylin, smiling.

Aylin takes the front passenger seat, slouching to fit in and bunching up her legs to try and get them into a comfortable position. She’s used to this problem with most cars, but it makes her miss the cockpit of her F-15 already. It may not be spacious exactly, but at least there is room for all of her.

She sighs and mentally makes herself put that aside – she is on leave. It’s time to have some fun.

“All right then, Aylin?” Cal says from the back, sounding genuinely pleased to see her. It’s been a long while since she saw Lia, but even longer since she’s seen Cal. Lia was her friend and neighbour before her mother moved them into a richer neighbourhood. But they managed to keep the friendship going. Lia is the closest and longest friend she’s ever had.

“I am excellent Cal, how are you keeping? Are you still at Gortash’s Emporium?” That’s the last she heard he was doing, anyway.

“Hell no! Lia, you haven’t told her?!”

“Why would I tell her your news, loser?” Lia retorts as she puts the car into gear and drives away. Aylin is tempted to look back and watch the base disappear behind her, but she doesn’t. Time to look forward, to this time they are about to have together.

“It’s not like your life is interesting,” Cal replies.

Aylin smiles, finding their exchange rather endearing. As an only child, she never got to experience sibling rivalries.

“Anyway,” Cal continues, addressing Aylin again. “You’re looking at the maître d’ at Stelmane’s!”

“Stelmane’s?” Aylin says in an undertone to Lia, not recognising the name.

“It’s a very fancy restaurant,” Lia whispers back, deliberately loud enough for Cal to hear.

“What? You haven’t heard of Stelmane’s?” Cal says, looking crestfallen.

“It is not the kind of thing that comes up while flying fighter jets, Cal,” Aylin says.

She listens to the siblings bicker all the way back to their house. Lia parks in the driveway, next to her mother’s four wheel drive, and Aylin can’t help but feel an ache of nostalgia as she flicks her eyes to the neighbouring house. She lived there, once, in a simpler time, before everything got complicated.

Someone else lives there now. Someone with a garish taste in lawn furniture.

She shakes her head to clear away the old memories, and joins Cal and Lia, slinging the bag over her shoulder and following them into the house. But walking into their house is like entering the past in itself. Everything is just the same as it always has been, from the green and yellow wallpaper to the threadbare sofas. It’s almost a relief that something can remain so unchanged, after all this time.

“Well there you are then,” Mrs Helliwell says, stretching on her tip toes to try and pull Aylin’s face down to kiss her cheek. The woman was almost a second mother to Aylin when she was a child. She is shorter than her children, and all the years of putting up with their arguing has added grey flecks to her short, curly hair. She hadn’t been wearing glasses last time Aylin saw her.

“You’re looking well, Mrs Helliwell,” Aylin says politely. “Is that a new cardigan? Most seasonal, and warm.”

Cal sniggers behind her.

“Oh, this old thing!” Mrs Helliwell says, brightening at the compliment. “And you’re looking tall, as always. And fit, goodness! I bet you could lift me right up!”

“Oh please do Aylin,” Cal says with a mischievous smile.

Aylin ignores him.

“See what I have to put up with?” Mrs Helliwell says, confidentially, with the long-suffering air of an old grievance. “I keep trying to get them to leave home and they keep on coming back and giving me cheek!”

“Come on,” Lia, who has been rolling her eyes at the whole exchange, pulls at her sleeve. “I know you’ve been wondering.”

Aylin drops her bag off in Lia’s room, where a camp bed has been set up for her for the night and follows Lia into the garage. Her eyes immediately find a misshapen object in the shadows, bookended by travel cases and old buckets of paint.

Lia switches the light on, just as Aylin pulls off the cover.

“We haven’t touched it,” Lia says, watching her. “Promise. Cal wanted to, but I nicked his Playstation controllers til he promised to leave it alone.”

Aylin hardly hears Lia, as she gazes upon the gleaming Harley Davidson, her pride and joy.

“Shall I leave you two alone?” Lia says, teasing. “You look like you’re in love.”

Aylin ignores her as she makes her inspection. Not a nick on the paintwork. She turns the key and switches on the ignition to check it’s still running. The familiar deep putter throbs from the motor, and for a moment, she dreams of riding away, the wind on her face, feeling as though she is doing a different type of flying altogether. She switches it off, with a vague sense of disappointment.

Now isn’t the time.

“Thank you, Lia,” she says with a little bow of her head. “I appreciate your taking such good care of her for me.”

“Of course Aylin. It’s practically family too. All right what do you want to do?”

~~~

(There's more. But that's all you get to see for now).

[fitgothgirl]

Long post incoming, so coloring key points just to help even my own eyes.

I'm pretty high-functioning right now, but I feel so not okay under it all. I'm applying for jobs. I go to the gym. I grocery shop. I clean. But I feel awful.

Being unemployed is making me feel worse the longer it goes - especially with how little I'm even hearing back on all my applications. I just feel so inadequate as a person overall (sucks that capitalism instills such feelings). And I feel guilty for doing anything but applying for jobs, even if I've already applied to a bunch that day; I feel guilty for going to the gym or watching TV or doing anything fun.

I've been wanting to make this pivot to bartending, knowing I would need start as a barback or server and applying as such, but I'm getting so discouraged. The last few days I've gone back to searching/applying for healthcare admin jobs, including front desk which I used to do and swore I wouldn't do again. But if I was already resolved to not WFH for a while by bartending, and I'm not getting anywhere with that, then I may as well not WFH at a day job in something I have experience in. I'm keeping in mind that regardless of my next job, it's all temporary until I get my CPC certification, so there's a light at the end of the (relatively short) tunnel if I end up in something I'm not thrilled with. But I'm now starting to feel silly for thinking about bartending; did I really do the hyperfocus thing again and get too excited over a prospect that I'm not quite capable of yet only for it to leave me wondering what I was thinking afterwards? I was trying to be aware at the time and asking myself if that was what was happening, but I didn't think it was. I honestly have always been interested in bartending, but now this Cointreau and vermouth and bitters and stuff is on our bar counter and I look at it and I just kinda feel like an idiot.

I had been drinking too often as it was before I lost my job but when I got fired it got a lot worse - no days without alcohol for over a month, probably getting drunk close to half the time - and now my stomach has had a sort of sudden change and I'm having problems I've never had before and it's making me nervous; it scared me into suddenly not drinking for 2 days, followed by a day with 1 drink, followed by two more no-alcohol days. Last night I did have a few though, but they kinda just made me feel shitty and I'm motivated to not drink again today. But it's also scary because I don't have fucking health insurance right now until Medi-Cal (Medicaid) approves me, which could still be a couple more weeks (i.e. a total of 6 weeks since I applied). Just gotta do what I can on my own for now. I often overreact about my health though, so fingers crossed this is just that.

It's not lost on me that I'm seeking out bartending yet obviously have periods where I can't seem to control my alcohol. I can't imagine drinking while working a job like that though (plus it's illegal for bartenders to drink on the clock anyway). If it's anything like barista-ing, which I know it is but even crazier/harder, I'd want to be as clear-headed and locked in as possible lol. But I'm not going to sit here and act like it would be an ideal job for someone trying to control their drinking with just being in that environment so often and having the thought it in one's head so much. So idk maybe it's best I just give up on it. I even still wanted to do it parttime on nights/weekends when I got my CPC cert/got a day job (as I was wanting to do before I lost my job), but maybe I shouldn't. But a big reason for bartending was also the good money they can make and I want that to get out of debt. Ugh idkkkkkkk. I guess I could just do serving... If someone would hire me, that is. But ugh all these thoughts are making me feel so mixed up and lost!!

And separate from all this work stuff is the fact that I've been wanting to talk to my bf about some stuff but can't bring myself to do it. The conflict avoidance in me is so strong... And it isn't even necessarily a "conflict," but my brain interprets it as such. It's so hard for me because any time there's been a Talk™️ in my life, it ends up a conflict, and I end up wrong. I end up crying and/or apologizing and/or fawning. Like, I'm not just getting this anxiety out of nowhere, I feel like I've really been taught through life experience that I'm just wrong all the time. Developed by my dad growing up, then my ex did his absolute best to compound & reinforce it. I know I need to "do it scared, do it with your voice shaking, do it with your hands trembling, but do it," or whatever that saying is, because until then I'm being a bad partner by not communicating. It doesn't help that we gel so well that we never fight or get heated because we both feel like so few things are worth getting upset over, so I don't actually have a lot of practice in this area, which is both a good thing and a bad thing obviously. But this is all dumb because I'm not even upset!! This isn't a talk like that!! I want to talk to him because I love him and I want to be open with him about my needs and I want to strengthen our relationship and I want him to be happy & healthy in his own right. I would want him to express his needs or hold me accountable, how can I not do the same for him? Why am I so focused on worst case scenario? Why am I so convinced this will be a negative conversation?? (Oh yeah all that aforementioned past experience stuff lolz. But I need to get over it...)

I just. My heart hurts a lot of the time. I keep ripping up my cuticles. I can't seem to stem the negative self-talk. I miss my therapist but can't get myself to reach out, but I'm also wondering what more she can do for me at this point (which is maybe why she hasn't reached out either?). Little things make me feel inordinately bad about myself, like the hummingbird feeder has been empty for a while, or my plants need watering, or even the fact that I haven't started decorating for Halloween yet, etc. I also feel like I should be doing all of the house chores that come up rather than half, which I don't think is wrong with being unemployed and my bf covering bills, but whenever I do clean it just weighs the reminder on me that I'm jobless and "inadequate." I want to cook for him too but idk why I get so nervous about that; he's a great cook, and when I cook for myself it's good, but imagining cooking for him makes me feel like it's going to be inedible shit for some reason lol...

I don't really know how to end this but I guess I'm done writing for now so... End 🙃

[ourdreamsareneon]

!! Photo for Attention !!

Kia ora e te whanau, I'm once again asking you for financial assistance because the government is useless and all we have is each other. If you don't know me, hi! I'm Cal (Orphan if ya nasty), I'm a 24 year old genderqueer gay nerd with chronic depression, PTSD, and PCOS. Due to my disabilities I am moving from full time work to part time in July and I am in dire need of financial assistance.

As is, I am living paycheck to paycheck due to rent and cost of living being so high in Aotearoa/New Zealand (per month - $1,260 rent, $90 gas, $40 public transport, $120 phone bill etc). In conjunction with this, I have to pay $280 a month for therapy, $90 a month for health insurance, and the government is threatening to remove the government subsidy for prescription medication which could make it impossible for me to be medicated.

I am currently going through the process of applying for the benefit (work and income), but due to how busy they always are and the tightening restrictions, I'm unsure how long it will take to get approved - if it ever does.

I understand it's hard for everyone right now, and there are way more dire things to worry about like the ongoing quest to free Palestine and care for those in desperate situations. There is no pressure to give anything, but if you could boost this post I would greatly appreciate it.

Buy me a coffee @ ourdreamsareneon (link in bio)

P4yP4l: justthecoffeeboy(gmail)

I don't have much to offer in return other than undying gratitude, and my 12+ years of service to the niché fandoms on Tumblr

Thank you <3

[mcalhenwrites]

Cal's writing - first chapters, AO3 link, and more

First chapter samples: That's... Not a Cat The Elephants Always Come Back The Dragons' Cosmos In Potestate Parentis Before our Ghosts Geckos, Automata Adversary Brackish Serrated Petals The Hostile Credence Short Stories: Audra Mish's Dolls Sanctuary The Sky Market Umbrella Spider Bridge of Affinity Train Cats My kofi link if you feel like donating! Geckos, Automata has two short side stories: Don't Dancing Bones My AO3 has some original stories as well, some of them complete. Name the Frogs (WIP, 5 chapters posted) Rascal (main story) (Rascal side stories and AU stories below) Ravish Him Ungrateful Little Princeling Woeful Spring Colds Eda, Darling A year spent together, as always all to see you smile Seasons (main story) (Seasons side stories below) Summer in Snow Stolen Summer Songs The Unfinished Gift Summer's Storm How to Love Summer in Distress A Papa's Wrath The Starting Foundation Seaside Cleanup Tumblr is really janky and usually messes up my posts if I try to add too much detail, so summaries weren't included. Luckily some are on the AO3 links. Any love on these stories would be appreciated. I'm likely going to be offline quite a bit as I try to arrange moving out of state (we just got approved for the apartment!), and any donations are likely to help me with daily expenses. Thank you for reading, and reblogs would be appreciated! Also! My dragon OCs in sketches, I'll add a couple:

And my favorite line from Rascal is in cross-stitch form:

And I can crochet my dragon OCs:

[thegirlwhoistired]

my (approx.) 144 hr fast technically starts after dinner tomorrow night so heres the rules to keep myself accountable 🎀

starting: 8.00pm saturday 10/2

ending: 8.00pm friday 16/2

rules

⭐️weigh in every morning on empty stomach (posted with previous days cal count and log)

⭐️photos every morning on empty stomach (for my own progress photo album)

⭐️liquids only!! (approved: WATER! tea & coffee (no milk, no sugar), diet/zero sugar soda (one a day MAX), one meal replacement shake allowed over the course of the 144hrs (only if im gonna pass out or something stupid), oxyshred (pre workout) on gym days in morning

⭐️ can have 5 grapes in total over the course of the 144hrs (if absolutely necessary but avoid)

⭐️cals have to remain under 100 every day

⭐️burn more cals than consumed every day

⭐️ any temptations to break result in: push ups to failure, crunches to failure, squats to failure, plank to failure

⭐️ if anyone asks, i already ate

⭐️ if partner asks for proof of food (hes done it before but doubt he will this time) make food, take photo, discard, send photo of empty plate (if he asks to see me eating it ill take a photo of me taking a bite and spit it out and brush teeth)

⭐️count and track EVERYTHING

⭐️fast starts after dinner tomorrow night and does not end until my partner comes home with dinner on friday

fast will be broken with whatever he brings home (ill try to not eat everything in the one sitting and break it up over two days)

i have done very similar in the past however the longest i have been able to go without eating (or purging what i did eat) is about 72 hours (wasnt expecting to fast that long so i didnt log it)

it cant be that hard to just not eat, i want to see progress and i want to be skinny so ill do whatever i have to to see that number go down 🎀

[omgkalyppso]

Tav Étoile as a Companion Part 4 of 4

Questions from here. You can press J to skip this post on desktop.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.

Romance

1.Is your Tav a romanceable character?  Are there any specific requirements to romancing them?

Yes, Étoile is romanceable. No, there aren't specific requirements that I can think of.

2. Does your Tav need to be flirted with to start the romance, or will they approach the PC themselves if approval is high enough?

Étoile will flirt with the player character but won't think it's the same as "approaching" them. The player character will have to express interest for it to go anywhere.

3. Are they a polyamorous or a monogamous option?

Polyamorous. And available to either be part of a multi-partner relationship or to have a separate relationship to whatever else the player character has going on.

4. Do they have a special romance scene at the tiefling/goblin party?

Yeah. They don't expect the player character to approach them. They're willing to make arrangements, to set up something hidden away upriver. They're also cool with the player character inviting another party-goer; so long as it is NOT Alfira, Lakrissa, Rolan, Cal, Lia or Volo.

5. Does the romance have different branching paths, or just one route to take?

Several. Depends how seriously the player character takes them, how many other partners the player character has and what they're all pursuing. Among other decisions.

6. How do they react to the player character breaking up with them, or choosing another character over them?

They're hurt, and offended. They tried to be clear from the beginning that they'd care for the player character and treat them with respect even if they only wanted something temporary ... but to be breaking up with Étoile they must've led them to believe otherwise. Was it just to break their heart? They're sorry they weren't able to do more to ensure the player character's heart and happiness; especially so if the player character chooses another polyam partner over them.

If the player character chooses a monogamous partnership instead of whatever they have going on with Étoile, then Étoile is more curt in a break up conversation. Holding back past hurts that this current one has agitated.

7. What questions can Zethino ask the PC about Tav in the Love Test?

Zethino: They say, "Home is where the heart is." Your beloved has travelled far afield the reaches of Faerûn. If Étoile was called upon to think of home, would you be prepared for the answer? Is it at your side?

Of course.

No, they are forever bound to their mountain in Impiltur.

No, they have made Baldur's Gate their home.

You gave their answer. Home is where they are. [correct]

Zethino: The challenges relationships face are sometimes quiet and personal, wherein the individual members must make choices that will affect their romance as a whole. When making these choices, what does Étoile value above all?

Their deity, Auril.

Their strength.

Their autonomy. [correct]

Me.

Zethino: The past informs all future possibilities. This is includes whether a love will last, or whether a relationship will wither as another wasteful regret. To date, in those perils of the past, what is Étoile's greatest regret?

Failing to fight at the side of Auril's Chosen. [correct]

Being captured by mindflayers.

Breaking their Paladin Oath.

Agreeing to this love challenge.

8. If they’re poly, do they have a reaction to the PC engaging in a relationship with Halsin?

Strong encouragement; unless the player character has otherwise expressed a desire for exclusivity, in which case it would be confusion / concern / curiosity.

When Halsin is at Very High approval and at least two long rests have passed since the player character's first night with Halsin, then if the player character hasn't already spent a night in a private room at Sharess' Caress with Étoile then the three of them can spend such a night together.

9. How do they react if the PC has sex with Mizora? The Emperor?  Haarlep?

Mizora: disappointed but understanding, she's alluring and no pacts were made — but they know how she injured Wyll and his family.

The Emperor: disgust. You know? This might be Étoile's hard boundary. They break up with the player character over this.

Haarlep: confusion. They think it's a bad decision based on ... the circumstances.

10. Will they join in with the PC and the Drow Twins, or no?

They're not cool with twins. They'll join the player character and one of the drow sex workers.

11. What are Tav’s plans for the future?  Do they propose to the PC, or is marriage not something they’re interested in?

Étoile's plans depend so much on the worldstate that they're hard to pin down. Ultimately, one day, they would like to return home to see their mother again, in Impiltur.

Étoile is not interested in raising a child as a parent. They don't mind offering guidance, friendship, protection, but not a lifelong commitment of parentage. They might change their mind someday, in some hundreds of years, but they consider themself young for an elf and satisfied to express this part of their personhood.

They would not propose to the player character within the timeline of the game. They'd need their commitment for at least another ten years before considering.

12. Free space! Share anything from your companion!Tav au!

Moments that grant Étoile inspiration:

Buying Oskar Fevris' freedom

Reforging Mourning Frost

Saving Isobel

Sparing Komira

Being kind to Zevlor

Donating to Umberlee's Temple

Saving Orin's captive / being saved

I went back and forth about whether one way to resolve Karlach's situation would be to retrieve the Icy Crystal from Mourning Frost / Dead of Winter and installing it / stabbing it into Karlach's heart.

[therealslimshakespeare]

Is Bucky gonna ever get his jacket back from Acorn?

Do they ever “break up”?

Is she wearing it when they see each other for the first time?

Would Bucky’s mother approve of a Hollywood starlet as her son’s girlfriend/wife?

And who would you say is the clingy one - him or her?

This is cheating because I am asking for stuff you haven’t posted but I’m in love with your story!!! 😭 I’m a Callum girly here and I’m happy to have found your blog. I’m also the anon who sent in the relationship asks if you remember haha

Why of course I remember you, doll, hello again! 💋 Thank you for loving it so much and willingly expressing it, I appreciate that enormously and I’m so happy to have won over a Cal girlie, y’all are the bestest and I’m happy to have joined ranks.

A few of these things I’m gonna be less clear about as, yes you little stinker -they’re spoilers. However:

Do they ever breakup: NOPE. I don’t have it in me to make angst for them beyond what’s fairly to be expected considering their histories. Does he occasionally end up crashing on a friends couch? Maybe, but it’s no lasting or even intense falling out. They’re both a bit spirited, that’s all.

Who’s The Clingy One? -Julie Jean, but he’s the heavy petting one sooo

Would Mama Egan Approve: maybe not initially thrilled, but she knows the sorta son she has, he won’t ever find someone who deserves him and yet she also knows he’s not coming back to her with some run of the mill sweetie, she was braced. Turns out Julie is precious, humble and warm hearted, delighted by “normality” and her prospects of being a wife she naturally wins over Mrs. Egan and Bucky’s hometown friends over.

[bearterritory]

Cal makes statement on realignment: 'We are not watching and waiting from the sidelines'

Cal Athletics posted a statement Friday, August 4, after Washington and Oregon were approved as new members of the Big Ten and Arizona, Arizona State and Utah applied to leave the Pac-12 for the Big 12.

"We are aware that two more of our Pac-12 peer institutions have decided to leave the conference one year from now, and there are reports that additional universities may be considering similar steps. We are not watching and waiting from the sidelines," the statement wrote.

[readylovewrites]

Space musings

I had started writing this when there was so much speculation (wishful thinking) of Obi-wan meeting Cal during Kenobi and just… never finished it 🤷🏻‍♀️ Thought I’d post it anyway, as one does.

———

He doesn’t know who he’s supposed to be looking for at this point. Rather, he’s just grateful to be off-world and untraceable for the moment.

Leia’s bright, knowing eyes swoop around the cantina—Padmé would never forgive him—and turn up toward him gleefully. “This is so much better than back to normal.”

It most certainly is not. 

They approach the bar because needs must, and he ushers her to stand in front of him, shielded but the top of her head now peeking over the counter. Again, with too much understanding, she eyes every item on display, eyes the bartender, eyes the patrons on stools beside them. Leans back to eye him. “My mother would not approve.”

It takes him a minute to think of Breha. “I know.”

“I do.”

That does nothing to quell his exasperation, which he has come to realize is a bone particularly tied to the Skywalkers. He ignores it. He’s gotten very good at ignoring it when he must. “Excuse me,” he beckons to the bartender, because he doesn’t know quite what else to do. “My daughter and I—“

“—granddaughter—“

“—are in need of some assistance. We were sent by Haja?” 

The bartender looks at him and then Leia and then back to him, and Ben must be very out of practice because just as the male Nautolan opens his mouth, Leia says sweetly, “No. Never mind, we don’t need you,” and turns expectantly and with full confidence to a figure that has appeared beside them. And Ben has no idea why that is.

He sees from the corner of his eye when the newcomer, a human male, notices the youngling’s attention, hears him say, with jarring gentleness, “Hey there,” when there’s a different call from a table on his opposite side:

“You say Haja sent you?” 

Ben whips around towards the voice. 

He has been around for a relatively long time. He has been across the galaxy. Has waged war and massacred armies and triumphed over Sith Lords. He’s played a bounty hunter, a thug, a common lowlife. So he doesn’t need whatever particular predilection for perception Leia seems to have; he can recognize one when he sees one, and what he sees is confirmation that Haja’s con was a good indicator of what to expect. Which is, in short, a lowlife.

Obi-wan cannot entrust a little girl to a common criminal, especially not this little girl. What would Bail, the man who looked him in the eye and said that there was no one he could trust more with his daughter’s well-being, think? Leia was right to note that Breha wouldn’t stand for it. And what of Padmé? 

But what else could he do—

There came a nudge in the Force.

…oh, he had nearly forgotten. Is that truly what it’s always been like? How had he survived so long without it?

How would he return to the lack?

He can’t remember the last time…

The warmth of it could’ve brought him to his knees had he not been so on guard these past ten years. Someone—someone close—but how? Who?

Leia. She knew.

He turns and meets the eyes of the human male who had by then crouched to speak with Leia but was now looking up at him. 

He’s got short, red hair and a serene expression on his face; nothing special, except for how entirely he feels like home. It’s so tempting to ask for help, but he can’t. Not after he turned that young Jedi away. He can’t. Can he?

But as it happens, he doesn’t have to.

The man—the boy, really—says with that familiar steady certainty, “I can take you wherever you need to go. You can come with us.”

Ben doesn’t have a chance to wonder at that term ‘us’ before Leia says, with authority, “Yes, that will work nicely. Thank you.”

It’s not until the boy stands and Ben catches sight of his lightsaber clipped openly on his belt that the icy grip of reality cinches around him. He says, more calmly than is warranted, “What are you thinking, walking around with that on your belt?”

(Later, Obi-wan and Leia lingering at the foot of the ramp of the Mantis, his hand on her shoulder to keep her close. Cal in the door with Cere visible just beyond, part of the conversation)

“It would not be wise for us to travel together. It’s not the smart move to help us.”

The Jedi looks at him oddly and says, “Of course it is. Because it’s the right thing. You think the Force brought us together by accident?”

What Ben wants to say out of the overflow of some deeply wounded part of his heart is that he no longer felt that he and the Force were on the same side. That it couldn’t be trusted.

(continued)

“As it was the will of the Force that my padawan turn to the dark side, and the will of the Force that the Jedi be slaughtered while a Sith sits on the galactic throne. We thought the Force willed balance, but it instead cast us into darkness.”

Cal stared at his hands. “I understand. We understand. Better than anyone. But maybe… maybe we lack perspective. Who says this is the end?”

“Maybe,” Junda says, and with such reflection to suggest that she speaks from experience, “your path forward is to help the one who will save your padawan.” But she’s looking at Cal, fondly. 

There is a story there, but Obi-wan’s own mind has turned back to a little boy on a little farm on a dustball of a planet, who radiates a little beacon of light out into the Force so bright that he must be visible from space.

[mushiewrites]

mung bean mung bean mung bean mung boobie boob moobie moon bean

congrats on 300 followers 🥺 you’re absolutely incredibly. and endless pit tickle ideas

would you be able to explain Roped In? :D

from this milestone post / roped in

u were eepy when sending this, weren't u llama :D (thank u for the kind words though I will cry 🥺)

OKAY SO!!!! this was actually supposed to be something entirely different! I had this idea (which I still wanna write one day) about a challenge within minecraft of random mobs being spawned, but they could be anything, and they could do anything. I had this idea for this weird caterpillar mob thing to spawn and it being george's turn to fight the mob, and it turns out that it tks him reaaaalllyyyy badly! but I was kind of behind on time and I wanted to get the fic out on day 4, and not wait, so Roped In kind of happened out of nowhere really?

I had the idea to just do an invisibility potion, just because it's something I can't do in irl fics and I always think tks involving potions are just the coolest thing EVER. and I...honestly have no idea where i pulled this positioning from, my brain just wanted to make it a struggle for george I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I did brainrot to cal about this fic, as well as make juno read it. and juno actually was the one to title it! I told cal juno's title idea and he said "oooo roped in actually fucks". literal quote from our messages. it also got the cal seal of approval, and juno wrote the last sentence for me bc I am simply horrible at ending fics <3

so basically, my second idea for day 4 turned into a fic that a lot of people seem to enjoy, which makes me soooo incredibly happy ):

OH! and for tkltober, there is going to be a sequel to this that's already planned, so....keep an eye out for that :D

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 2x21 The Maquis Part 2 thoughts (I'm re-watching, so there may be future spoilers)

"You don't want peace, Cal. You want revenge." Yeah, that seems true enough.

It's interesting to see the Federation hatred of Cardassians so closely; we've seen a lot of Bajorans hating Cardassians, and occasionally Miles too, but while the Stafleet officers on DS9 sure don't trust Cardassians, it's easy to forget they were at war not so long ago too.

"What about Commander Hudson?" "... I'll have to talk to him." Sisko is the most loyal friend.

"Establish a dialogue with the Maquis. They're still Federation citizens. I'm sure they'll listen to reason." Oh you're sure, are you?

The It's easy to be a saint in paradise is SO good, I see it a lot on Tumblr, but it's so much better in context

Kira's stunned expression during Sisko's speech is wonderful :3

Hehe, I'd forgot they'd be interrogating Quark about Sakonna, excellent.

"Do you expect us to believe that a Vulcan would be interested in you for your lobes?" "Vulcans are a species that appreciate good ears." HAH. Also, are you jealous, Odo? :P

"How long do I keep him in here?" "Forever." Gotta love Sisko's deadpan XD 

"I don't see what difference it makes whether we do it [execute Dukat] or they do it." I don't care either, but will someone do it, please? As a favour to me?

"The Central Command wants him dead. That's reason enough for us to want him alive."

Evil mind meld!

Dukat is insufferable, but I do enjoy watching him be a villain

A wild Sisko appears!

Dukat is so completely puzzled by the attempt at dialogue and reconciliation XD

"Tell him I still have his uniform." I love this recurring motif in this episode.

Ugh, I don't like Dukat looking comfortable.

Huh, information setting up for Cardassian trials later on the show

"Cardassians don't make mistakes." "I'll have to remember that"

I am SO looking forward to Dukat being crushed by the news that no, Central Command were not trying to rescue you, they just blamed the whole thing on you and left you for dead.

HAHA YES, that took the wind out of your sails DIDN'T IT.

"I'm sure you would have done the same for me." Love how that has left Dukat speechles.

"Ah, but the Xepolites have never been caught."

"I'm not just any Cardassian." Again, I really love seeing Dukat in action, he's so skin-crawlingly good at what he does, even if it's awful. You can see Kira having bad memories of threatening Cardassians in the background.

Yiss Sakonna and Quark again

"My emotional state is irrlevant." "Well, my emotional state is very relevant."

"Do you propose to lecture me on logic?" "I don't want to, but you leave me no choice." XD

"Then I'll make it so simple that even a Vulcan can understand." HAH. I do love Quark's turns of phrases

"They have weapons. You have weapons. Everyone has weapons!"

I hate that Quark is so good at this, but he sure did just go and outlogic a Vulcan.

"So we'll have three ships and they'll have two. The odds are in our favour, anyway." This made me chuckle a bit just because it's the simplest maths and post-GE-reveal he'll be calculating absolutely ridiculous odds, not just 3 v 2 XD

"That's not going to give us much of an advantage, Julian" And added to that, he was wrong! 😅

Dukat's approving look at Sisko...

Oh no, Dukat is gonna fire isn't he.... Aghhhh don't do this to Ben!

Oh phew, he didn't. Glad I was wrong

I love how Sisko and Dukat play off each other. "I will not kill a good man for trying to defend his home." "You disappoint me." "Don't expect me to lose any sleep over it."

Hmmm, it's interesting to wonder if they hadn't succeeded and a war had begun at this point in time, would the Dominion have ever got involved?