#this one was about fox mulder my beloved <3< /div>
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tweets i've made that are surprisingly not about dennis
#this one was about fox mulder my beloved <3#ada speaks#dennis may be vain as shit but i don't think he has npd#now. antisocial personality disorder. here's my hot take.#bpd+autism manifests in a way that can. explain. a lot of the boxes checked by aspd#and i do think dennis is misunderstood (primarily his own fault) which leads to a lot of people mistakenly believing#he's a socio/psychopath (antisocial pd) but i mean. we all know he isnt.#but as a certified Autistic Bitch with an NPD mother i have been accused of a lot of the same shit#and like glenn says. dennis does feel things very deeply. he just has difficulty showing it#untagged
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Season 3 Wrap-Up
Let’s skip the boring part. We know the routine by now, and I have a lotttt to say this time around. Thoughts on Talitha Cumi and S3 below the cut.
Talitha Cumi
My least favorite season finale so far, if I’m honest. It’s not that the stakes weren’t high enough, it’s that I was confused for a lot of this episode. I, like Mulder, have precious little patience for Cancer Man and his musings, and there were a LOT of musings in this episode. I’m going to have to read the Wikipedia plot summary for this one. Also, not enough Scully.
Season 3
My favorite season so far. I know, I know “Thanx, you’ve said that every season!” If you’ll recall, I was on the fence about season 2 being better than season 1 (Pilot my beloved) because I feared recency bias. But I feel very strongly that S3 beats out both S1 and S2 pretty handily, recency notwithstanding. Why? Because it’s fun, in a way. The first handful of episodes are less so, but as the season finds a rhythm, there are these brilliant little character moments. Skinner gains a lot of depth this season, for example, but he also has some killer one-liners that tell us he is playing this game for better or for worse.
And as for Mulder and Scully? If there is one thing these two will do, it’s talk on the phone. Those were some of my favorite details this season. The classic “it’s me,” but also the way they can’t stay off the phone in Coprophages. The way Mulder knows Scully will stay on the line to eavesdrop in Avatar. Mulder, our “ticking time-bomb of insanity” starts to show his Captain Ahab side more (hello, Grotesque???). And Scully gets to call him on it! More importantly, the moment I’ve been waiting for: they finally let Scully be so so Catholic.
This season just went crazy, I don’t know what to tell you. There are some seriously unhinged episode progressions — and I’m not even talking about the two-parters. Coprophages to Syzygy to Grotesque (just two eps before Pusher)? Quagmire to Wetwired? Stop it.
5 fave eps (now with more musing!):
Revelations - I told y’all I wanted more Catholic Scully, and this episode really delivered. I love that our skeptic is religious, however remotely. I love Scully. I love that there is this part of her which the X-Files never seem to touch — until they do.
War of the Coprophages - The way they can’t stay off the phone with each other. The way Fox Mulder just HAPPENS to be in the cockroach town during the cockroach uprising. The bug that crawls across the screen. The way Mulder is eating chocolate cake while writing his report about how he narrowly escaped an exploding shit lab. The inexplicably exotic bug he squishes without hesitation.
Pusher - Fuck all the way off. The paper that just says “Pass.” “Smile, Scully.” Russian roulette. Russian roulette!!! I don’t need to tell you all about this. You already know. Plus, there’s this deeply unwell post I already made.
Jose Chung from Outer Space - I also already posted about this one, but the TL;DR is that this sitcom fanatic loves a frame story and a series of Events Which Probably Didn’t Happen Like That.
Quagmire - I KNOW I KNOW it was between this and Wetwired. But when it comes down to it, the Captain Ahab conversation is just too fucking good. Also, I feel I should honor the memory of Queequeg, who deserved better.
5 least fave eps:
The Blessing Way - It’s not that it’s a bad ep, it’s just not for me. I’ve never been much for the metaphysical “between life and death” thing where you talk to your dead dad and he tells you to keep living. This is because my heart is made of rocks.
The List - I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t like prison eps.
Piper Maru & Apocrypha - I just got lost. Glad to see Krycek again tho!
Talitha Cumi - See above.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to buckle my seatbelt for the [REDACTED] [REDACTED] arc. Maybe I’ll also rewatch the pilot just for kicks.
#the x files#txf#do you think i’m spooky?#x files#spooky mulder#fox mulder#dana scully#msr#dana scully md#season finale#season wrap up#talitha cumi#wetwired#pusher
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I posted 1,168 times in 2022
That's 1,168 more posts than 2021!
90 posts created (8%)
1,078 posts reblogged (92%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@cock-holliday
@baronessblixen
@amplifyme
@mulderwearingglasses
@agent-troi
I tagged 1,146 of my posts in 2022
Only 2% of my posts had no tags
#txf - 975 posts
#fox mulder - 772 posts
#dana scully - 749 posts
#msr - 442 posts
#fav - 79 posts
#fictober22 - 30 posts
#xffictober2022 - 30 posts
#the monstrumologist - 29 posts
#he's so pretty - 26 posts
#scully my beloved - 22 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#they could be talking about religion sports or even the reproductive function of mulder's fish and still tie it back to their relationship
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Okay, so I just watched The Unnatural and- I have literally no words. The MSR is just glorious in this episode ??? Like, they barely interact through the ep, but when they do, it's so flirty and fun ?? They're best friends in love, your honor. I mean, I thought, before seeing the ep, that the whole baseball game at the end was some sort of ploy for the investigation which I believed to be in the middle or early episode. And then I finally watched it and it's at the end and has absolutely nothing to do with an investigation and it's just Mulder and Scully having fun and flirting and touching each other and just being wholesome ??? With the little fight for who gets to put hands on the middle of the bat ??? And the cute little banter ??? AND THE WAY MULDER WHISPERS IN HER EAR ????
146 notes - Posted November 4, 2022
#4
Thinking of Mulder, touch-starved because nobody ever tried to give him a hug (because somehow, I can't imagine Phoebe or Diana being affectionate, and we all know his parents became distant after Samantha's abduction). Thinking of Mulder having to learn how to be touched, how to be held. Learning how to allow himself to be loved. Thinking of Scully being so, so patient with him, slowly easing him into tender touch until he stops stiffening in surprise when she hugs him from behind. Thinking about Mulder learning he's worth being loved through witnessing Scully's care and love for him. Thinking about them healing together, making each other better, smoothing over their sharp edges.
Thinking about them loving each other so much that they can never quite believe it but never stops wanting to believe in it nevertheless.
207 notes - Posted October 21, 2022
#3
I may be projecting, but I like to think of Scully as someone who isn't overtly physical ? I mean, she likes it when it's people she loves and trusts (i like to imagine she never refuses a hug from her mum, she doesn't refrain from ruffling her younger brother's hair to annoy him when they're children, and she used to like to hang out with Melissa on the couch, shoulders against shoulders, to watch the TV), but apart from that, she's reserved. The times when we see her be physical with other people (apart from Mulder) is usually to comfort them, and usually she just places her hand on their shoulders. (there is this one time she kisses Skinner on the mouth, but i'm pretty sure she was so lost in the euphoria of finding Mulder she didn't think about it. i like to think she couldn't look Skinner in the eyes afterwards).
Anyway, for someone so put together like her, so reserved, both emotionally and physically, it must have been weird to be parternered with Mulder, who is a very physical person. He's always in her personal space, always with his hand on her back, and I don't know, but there's something so trusting about this. About being someone who isn't very physical but allowing this special person to touch you because you like their touch. Because Scully doesn't show signs of being bothered by this, which means she doesn't mind, which means she likes Mulder's touch in particular.
I have no idea where I'm going with this, I might just be screaming into the void, but the simple idea of a physically reserved Scully allowing Mulder to touch her because she likes his touch, and then actually initiating the touching because she likes touching him too, is so dear to me. (and then i think about the pilot, where she leans into him, terrified, already trusting him enough to touch him like that after knowing him for like two days, and- they're insane for making me emotional like that)
242 notes - Posted August 31, 2022
#2
Squeeze is such an iconic episode. Not only does it gives us the memorable ''Do you think I'm spooky ?'' scene but it also gives us : Mulder in glasses, his horrible ties, Scully's impeccable fashion sense, Mulder being territorial over Scully, Scully realizing she loves her work and loves working with Mulder, Scully saying Mulder is a great agent, a creepy as fuck monster, Mulder's worst joke ever (''Somebody having a garage sale'') and Mulder's best joke ever (''Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior ?''), an emotional moment of an old man finally getting closure over his worst case ever, Scully roasting the hell out of Colton (''Then I can't wait `til you fall off and land on your ass''), Mulder thinking Scully got the right guy and fighting to make her realize, and finally the soft shoulder touch at the end.
Oh and also this shot of very platonic gazing between two coworkers
342 notes - Posted November 12, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Why does she feel the need to speak so close to his face ??? HOW IS IT PLATONIC COWORKER BEHAVIOR
371 notes - Posted August 22, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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Nice!
1. Beloved/the Fool, Realm of the Elderlings. Those who follow me know how much I love him. His bravery, commitment to doing the right thing no matter what it costs, unshakable loyalty, affection for the powerless and oppressed, cleverness, and biting sense of humor all combine to make him my blorbo of all time.
2. Daenerys Targaryen, A Song of Ice and Fire. One of the most inspirational characters in fantasy, she goes from a frightened girl treated by everyone around her like a game piece and sold against her will to a conqueror queen. She never loses her compassion though uses her immense power to champion the oppressed and I think that is awesome. And no we won’t acknowledge what HBO did to her character.
3. Sam Gamgee, Lord of the Rings. My very oldest blorbo and always dear to my heart. An ordinary person (well, hobbit) with no special powers or resources or abilities who plays an irreplaceable role in defeating the dark lord by virtue of his courage, loyalty, and determination. Truly an example of how anyone can be extraordinary.
4. Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars. Getting away from series I blog about, we have the character who embodies all of the good of the Jedi. Even when he loses everything and hits bottom he continues to try, and in the end he plays a key role in saving the galaxy, even though it comes at the cost of his own life.
5. Fox Mulder, the X Files. He’s brilliant, funny, and absolutely dedicated to his one man crusade. The show may have ultimately done him dirty but I have faith! Any man who earns the love of Dana Scully is worthy.
Tagging @gwenllian-in-the-abbey @motleywolf-et-al @heyitsrink
five comfort characters, five tags
Tagged by @tragediegh, thank you!
Beloved (RotE). Surprising absolutely no one. He is kind and witty and has this incredibly soothing presence that turns me insane in all the best ways.
The Doctor (Doctor Who). DW is overall a big comfort show for me, and that is largely due to the Doctor's kindness and ability to see the good and beautiful in everyone.
Donna (Doctor Who). She makes me laugh my ass out, and then, in the very next scene, she makes me weep like a baby instead. I love love love her.
Fitz (RotE). The man, the myth, the mess himself. All his worst qualities are painfully relatable. Which is probably not a good thing, but uhhhhh. yeah.
Ienzo/Zexion (Kingdom Hearts). He might be an unimportant side character, but after 16+ years of being KH fan, I've headcanon'ed and self-inserted so much into this man that he's a mainstay on any character list I ever make
Tagging @thenightisland, @naurielrochnur, @spectrum-color, @amongussy and @m-satvrn!
#realm of the elderlings#rote#a song of ice and fire#asoiaf#lord of rings#lotr#jrr tolkien#star wars#the x files#the fool#daenerys targaryen#sam gamgee#obi wan kenobi#fox mulder#this was surprisingly tough to narrow down#since I wanted to only do one character per IP
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Only the Light Ch. 18
18/? | AU where Melissa moves in with Scully after Scully’s abduction | angst, msr slow-burn, occasional fluff | currently: mid-s3 (canon-divergent) | T | 5k | previous chapters | read on ao3 | tagging: @today-in-fic <3
Scully, Mulder, and Missy travel to California to meet Emily and wrestle with the future.
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The echo of Scully’s heels against the linoleum is almost enough to drown out her racing heart. Mulder’s thumping steps and her sister’s daintier ones help too, but their collective power does nothing to ease Scully’s awareness that the Earth circles the sun at a thousand miles per hour. Today, she’s feeling every bit of it.
The three of them round a corner, and a broad-shouldered man and tiny-waisted woman come into view. Agent Feniston and the lawyer, this must be. Outside of conference room C--as planned.
Straightening every disc in her spine, Scully extends a hand and exchanges a firm shake with each of them. Mulder and Melissa hang back.
“Dana Scully,” she declares. “Thank you for seeing me.”
“That decision rested with the foster parents,” the male agent insists. “As does any from this point forward.”
“Yes, and I’ll be sure to thank them as well,” Scully acquiesces.
“Hello, Ms. Scully.” The lawyer uncrosses her ankles. “I’m Tanya Joyce, you can call me Tanya. As a representative of the state of California, my priority is guarding the child’s wellbeing and ensuring that any choice made is what’s best for her.”
“Of course,” Scully murmurs. “Thank you for being here.”
Tanya thumbs toward the closed door of the conference room. “Brian and Cecily are eager to meet you. The foster system has extremely limited information on little Emily. Your testimony will help us all fill in some blanks.”
Scully nods. “Me as well...this is as much a surprise for me as all of you.”
“Are we to understand that you were not aware you bore a child, Ms. Scully?” Agent Feniston asks.
“Yes, sir. I know it’s quite hard to believe, I feel the same. I was missing for a period of time last year and was comatose when I returned.”
“Yes, and how long was that period of time, Ms. Scully?”
The edges of her lips fall. “Approximately five weeks.”
“So is it safe to assume that though the child shares your DNA, you did not carry her?”
“No sir, not that I know of. I believe that my eggs were harvested, and she was...well, she comes from one of those.”
The agent hums a note of acknowledgement. “As I told you over the phone, the federal database contained no viable DNA match of a father.”
Scully nods. “Yes sir, and I have no knowledge of what sperm may have been used.”
“Noted.” He rubs his neck. “We were lucky, we only found you because you were in the missing persons database.”
“I had no idea I was still listed there,” Scully says. “I’ve asked the FBI to remove it.”
“Well, it was a stroke of luck for us,” the agent tells her. “This little girl’s foster parents encouraged the state to pursue child abandonment charges against whoever left her. She was found outside a local care center at two weeks old, as I’ve told you.”
“Yes.” Scully purses her lips. She imagines a baby with her eyes, nose, toes, chromosomes crying on a nondescript doorstep...she and Mulder did not know what they were doing when they said they wanted the truth.
“We’ve already confirmed your story with the FBI,” Feniston continues, “and we have proof that you were working on cases in the east at the time of Emily’s delivery to the foster center, so you are free of any child abandonment charges.”
“Wonderful,” Scully replies, but really, those were the least of her concerns. “May I see my daughter now?”
That’s the first time she’s ever said that sentence, and she didn’t expect terror to shoot up her spine. Is this what it is, having an extension of your life outside your body?
The lawyer steps forward. “I’ll introduce you to Brian and Cecily, they’d like to speak with you first.”
Scully does not like the way that sits in the air. Still, she musters a smile. “It would be my pleasure.”
---------------------------
Mulder and Melissa make themselves at home on a pair of leather chairs outside the conference room. They have been the pall-bearers keeping Scully aloft as her crushed dreams reinvent themselves as high hopes. They don’t understand how it happened any more than Scully herself: one phone call turned into multiple consultations with Agent Feniston, then Tanya and California Social Services and finally, DC social workers who performed background checks and prepared forms so that Scully could come here today to meet her baby and, God-willing, bring her home.
It doesn’t happen this fast, it never does--different voices said these same words to them a dozen times. And yet, barely two weeks after Agent Feniston’s fated voicemail, here they are. On All Hallow’s Eve, no less. Just in time for Emily to complete her first rotation around the sun.
They both play contrasting yet crucial roles in Operation Miracle Baby, as Mulder dubbed it. Dana has sobbed into Missy’s shoulder every night for the past two weeks; happy tears (her baby! she has a baby!), sad tears (she has a baby…and she didn’t even know...), scared tears (a baby! a baby, Missy! probably already walking, and maybe even talking if she’s exceptional...). The situation--and its implications--are impossible to reconcile in such a short time, if at all. Scully’s petite frame could not physically contain it.
Mulder’s the comic relief, the distraction, the reminder that nothing can be so grave if there's still breath left in your body. He bought a CD of nursery rhymes and stuck in it his beat-up office radio, playing it through the day while Scully labored over this form or that and he pretended to alphabetize the case file drawer. Now, he hums himself to sleep every night with one of those rhymes; he’s hoping this new skill will come in handy.
He would’ve bought toys and baby clothes too, but Melissa made him swear not to in case the adoption falls through. And she’s right, he can’t bear to imagine the pain Scully would feel packing those away. For sale: baby shoes, never worn hits you no matter who you are. Still, he has a stuffed UFO and a Build-a-Bear fox (yes, he went in and filled it himself) hidden in his closet, and he hopes they won’t go to waste.
Operation Miracle Baby has been as covert as anything Mulder’s ever been involved in. He, Melissa, and Mrs. Scully are the only ones in his partner’s circle with any knowledge of what’s going on. No one else, in Scully’s words, matters. Trinity too has received a full briefing from Missy and is ecstatic about her girlfriend potentially becoming an auntie. Skinner was told it was a family emergency--and well, it is--though surely he’s suspicious about both of his agents requesting time off. Bill Jr. has no idea they’re in San Diego, though they may seek “refuge” (the air quotes are Missy’s) at his place if the proceedings drag on.
This is a triumph or failure to be shared only with those most beloved, that’s what Scully said to them the night before they boarded the plane. Mulder has never been included in anyone’s most beloved before. It feels pretty damn good.
----------------------
The perky lawyer raps on the conference room door, opening it in response to a voice on the other side. Scully’s breath catches….a strawberry-haired infant rests in her mother’s arms (Scully hates to think it, but surely this woman is more Emily’s mother than she is), pulling at a lock of the woman’s blonde hair.
The woman turns her way, and Scully gets her first glimpse at Emily’s face. Emily. Her baby. She wondered the whole flight here whether she would feel a connection….a sense of recognition...upon laying eyes on her daughter. And my god, it’s like some chained section of her heart has burst open, flooded with all the good feelings of the world. Icy blue eyes and cherub cheeks...that’s her baby. That’s her baby.
She watches as her baby is passed to a woman in a CA Social Services button-up who slides past Scully in the doorway like she’s not even there. Scully has a split-second to notice the dimples on her daughter’s cheeks, but that’s it. Emily’s gaze misses her entirely.
Tanya strides toward the couple in the room, Scully following behind.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lace, this is Dana Scully, Emily’s biological mother.”
“We’re so glad to meet you,” the man says, shaking Scully’s hand with a firm grip. “I’m Brian, and this is my wife Cecily.”
“Thank you for speaking with me,” Scully tells them, shaking Cecily’s hand in kind. “I understand you’ve cared for Emily since shortly after she arrived at social services.”
“Yes,” Cecily confirms. “She came to us when she was a month old. Raising her has been an absolute joy.”
Brian nods. “She’s the second infant we’ve fostered. We adopted our first one, Andrew, when he was a year and a half.”
“I didn’t realize you had another child,” Scully converses, feeling out of her depth. “It must have been quite a transition, taking Emily in.”
“It sure was, but she’s an angel, truly,” Brian says. “We couldn't fathom that someone could abandon her and get away with it, that’s why we contacted Agent Feniston.”
Cecily chimes in--”We were told the chances of finding a DNA match in the federal database was slim. We didn’t expect to learn that you were unaware of Emily’s existence!”
“Yes, I’m still coming to terms with it all,” Scully replies. “I’m grateful that you’ve given me the opportunity to see her, at the very least.”
“When we heard your story, we knew it would be heinous of us to say no,” Cecily says, offering a sympathetic smile.
“You’re an FBI agent, did we hear that right?” Brain asks.
“Yes sir, I’ve been with the Bureau five years now.”
“You live in DC?”
Scully nods. “Around the corner from the National Mall.”
“That’s exciting!” Cecily pipes up. “How did you find yourself having Emily in San Diego?”
“I actually have no idea, Mrs. Lace,” Scully murmurs. “My family lived here when I was young, but I haven’t been back since. Coincidentally, my brother lives not too far off.”
“Wow,” Cecily gasps. “They weren’t kidding about you being a missing person.”
“No ma’am.” She went from a missing person to missing a person. No wonder she’s spent the past year feeling so empty.
-----------------------------
Mulder and Melissa get only the slightest moment to catch their breath before a child that is unmistakably the progeny of Dana Scully is carried into the lobby. Her hair curls around her ears in a cute mushroom top, her tongue dancing in her mouth like it has a mind of its own. They stare; they know better, but fuck it, if any baby is worth staring at, it’s this one.
“Is that--?” Mulder whispers.
“Yeah,” Missy breathes.
They’ve both seen the pictures, they are well aware that it’s her. They say these things for the awe of it.
“She’s…” Mulder’s eyes are wide. “She’s bigger than I thought she would be. Not fat, I mean. Just...a whole tiny human.”
“She is, isn’t she?” Melissa smiles at her niece, who is now seated on her caretaker’s lap across the hallway. Emily’s big eyes blink at her, containing silent judgements. How like her mother she is.
Missy elbows Mulder. “I bet she orders mushroom pizza and then picks the mushrooms off because apparently ‘the cheese tastes better than on the regular cheese pizza,’” she muses, naming one of her sister’s quirks.
Mulder likes this game. “I bet she vehemently denies the existence of extraterrestrials only to secretly believe that her dashing partner is right,” he offers.
Missy smirks. “I bet she would find this game very stupid if she understood it.”
“I’m all in on that one.” Mulder mimes pushing a pile of poker chips into the center of a table.
Missy laughs, looks toward her seat partner with soft eyes. “She’s gonna be a great mom, isn’t she? Dana, I mean?”
“Oh yeah.” Mulder clasps his hands in his lap. “We should be so lucky to have a little Scully in the world.”
“Mm-hm.” Missy focuses on his face, watching for the slightest move that might give his thoughts away. “And she’ll be able to do it alone, do you think?”
“Well, I’m sure she’ll need some help from Mrs. Scully, and you, and…” he trails off before adding his own name, but Missy’s mind fills it in reflexively. “She’ll need help,” Mulder finishes, “but yeah, she’ll be incredible.”
The details have already been parsed out. As a single mother, Scully is required to list a guardian who would take custody of Emily if something were to happen to her. She listed her mother as the primary one--the social worker told her it’s best if it’s someone who has child-rearing experience--and Missy as the secondary guardian. She would, after all, already live in the child’s household.
Then there was the matter of the job--its extensive time requirements, travelling, and danger level were all of concern to the agency. This came as no surprise to Scully; a single female FBI agent does not make the ideal adoption candidate. And though she hasn’t yet spoken to the Bureau, Mulder has promised her they’ll work something out. It can be like your leave of absence, he assured her. You tackle the paper trail and I’ll focus on following the suspect’s trail. Easy-peasy.
That’s what he says to her, though he’s terrified of losing her as his partner...Of her being reassigned to something simpler or leaving the Bureau entirely. She could teach at Quantico, that schedule would be a hell of a lot easier than running on Mulder time. Agent Scully can pack for hastily-booked flights at midnight then catch them at 7am, but Emily’s mother couldn’t. He will have to reckon with this if all the pieces fall into their graceful place. He’ll have to figure out how to rearrange their partnership for her, or even worse, how to live without her as his partner. Or maybe even at all.
---------------------------
Scully glances at her shoes, then summons the courage to meet Mrs. Lace’s hazel eyes. “I hope you will consider my request. I know it’s not up to you entirely--the court will have the final say--but my abduction experience has left me unable to have a biological child, so learning of Emily was truly a miracle of the highest order.”
Her voice clips as she takes a breath. “I understand that it would be a huge sacrifice on the part of your family, and that you’ve developed a bond with Emily over the past eleven months. I just ask you both to please...think about it.” Tears twinkle in her eyes. She made it, thank god, she made it without breaking down! She’s rehearsed that speech ten times over.
Cecily lays a hand on her husband’s arm. “Of course, Dana. It would be a painful sacrifice to us, you’re correct, but we understand that you’ve flown across the country to be here, and that you’ve brought witnesses to testify to your character, so your commitment is clear. We’ll listen and make as compassionate a decision as possible.”
Scully’s lips creep into a smile. “Thank you. I appreciate that.” She steps back, the weight of imminent sobs settling over her chest.
“Ms. Scully has already undergone most of the requirements needed for adoption,” the lawyer tells Mr. and Mrs. Lace. “Medical clearance, psychiatric clearance, criminal background check, and home study. In the spirit of her unique circumstances, California and the District of Columbia have agreed to cooperate to make the process as smooth and expedient as possible, if you should choose to surrender Emily to her. I don’t mean to sway your decision in any way, just to give you all the available information.”
The couple nods. “Thank you, Tanya,” Cecily answers. “We’d like to speak with the first witness now.”
Scully balks. She expected more questions, a barrage of them, as intense and prying as if she were testifying in front of Congress. And she was ready for that--she was prepared to do whatever they asked of her, to show that there are no lengths she wouldn’t go for Emily. She’s already documented every detail of her life for social services and given over the necessary specimens to prove that no, she’s not a drug user, and yes, her thyroid is hyperactive, but she takes medication for that and her doctor will confirm that it’s under control.
And if they wanted to know more, she’d tell them. She’d tell it all. Her deepest, darkest secret (telling Daniel that yes, he should leave his wife & kids...all for her, to be with her), the most petty thing that haunts her (stolen cigarettes, smoked on the family porch at 1am), what she wants to say most but can’t (I love you)...a part of her was taken to create Emily. She would give the rest away to keep her.
There was a moment, in one of the drab little interrogation rooms at DC social services, where Scully was met with a question that lunged toward her like a time-bomb. Pull the fuse, pull the fuse it taunted her. See what happens. Instead, she played it off. Pretended she didn’t hear its doomed tick. Feigned none the wiser. No, she isn’t aware of any potential medical condition that would inhibit her life expectancy or ability to care for a child, she told the nice woman. Thank god they got the chip out of her neck before it showed up on any x-rays.
She snaps back to reality, watching as the conference door opens, and her sister enters the room.
“Thank you, Dana,” Tanya says, and she assumes that’s the lawyer’s way of telling her to get out, so she does. Outside the room, she settles next to Mulder in a seat that’s still warm.
“How’d it go in there, champ?” he chatters. “You need some water or anything?”
Scully’s not listening. Her eyes are trained on the baby girl across the way with hair too auburn to be brunette that’ll require a smattering of box dye every two weeks to qualify her as a soulless ginger.
Emily’s eyes land on the woman she does not know is her mother, studying this new face with an infant’s usual curiosity. Mulder has realized by now that the little girl is of much more interest to his partner than he is, and he watches as mother and daughter wave to each other.
Scully lets out a laugh so strangled that for a moment Mulder thinks it’s a cry and jumps to comfort her. He relaxes back into his seat once he sees the joy on her face.
“She’s a sweetheart, huh?” Mulder wisecracks as the young girl jams her fingers into her mouth.
Scully beams. “She’s a baby, that’s her way of learning the world!”
“Hey, I’m not knocking it. That’s my personal preference as well,” he says with a lop-sided smile.
“Yeah, well, she’s not licking evidence,” Scully quips.
Mulder shrugs. “A man can’t help his oral fixation. Haven’t you ever heard of Freud…?” he lets it slide off his tongue.
Scully rolls her eyes. His inability to maintain an appropriate manner is nothing if not inspiring.
She gestures toward Emily. “You’re already encouraging bad behavior. Tsk-tsk,” she teases.
“That’s my job as--hey, wait. What’s she gonna call me?” If you get custody, of course passes silently between them.
“I don’t know, Mulder,” Scully says, watching her daughter out of the corner of her eye. “I hadn’t really thought about it.” That’s a lie. She’s sat up during the night trying to decipher Mulder’s relation to Emily. He would certainly be the male authority in her life, but that doesn’t make him a father figure. Right?
Scully adored her father because he was the head of the family, and he embraced the responsibility, always making sure they had what they needed. While her mother was often the one doing the grunt work of caring for them, her father provided for them. His long deployments with the Navy protected them. Scully understood his sacrifice and loved him for it
That’s not how it would go with Emily. If she were so lucky as to get the child, Scully would be the caretaker and the provider. A two-in-one deal with a high price. What would that mean, for Emily? Scully could do it, she believes that. Not that it would be anything less than utterly exhausting, but with a little help from her mother and her sister, she could make do, and they say it takes a village to raise a child anyway, so what’s so bad about that?
Since she’s filling those roles herself, that leaves...well, Mulder could be the fun uncle, that fits him. Bill Jr. isn’t gonna cut it, and neither is Charlie, considering that he’s god knows where. Besides, it’s unlikely that Mulder will get a chance to know a biological niece or nephew. He and Emily could fill missing pieces in each other’s lives.
Scully’s eyes trace the contours of her partner’s face. “Do you have a preference about what she calls you?”
“I was hoping for His Royal Highness Fox Mulder of Martha’s Vineyard--is that too much?”
Scully lets a strand of hair fall over her face. “It might take her awhile to get her tongue around that.”
“Or it’ll speed up her speech acquisition,” Mulder replies.
“Oh, you’re a child-rearing connoisseur now?”
Mulder twiddles his thumbs. “It is my goal to raise the first kid to transcribe canine language into English.”
“Really? I wasn’t aware of that,” Scully tells him, a smile flitting on her lips. It’s this kind of banter that keeps her sane. A few minutes out here with him, and she’s forgotten that what happens in that conference room will dictate the rest of her life.
Across the hallway, Emily giggles at the air, and it fits, doesn’t it? Here she is, already laughing at Mulder’s jokes like the Scully girl she is.
------------------------------
It feels like a prisoner exchange when witness number one in their civil-that-sure-feels-like-a-criminal case joins Scully back in the hallway, and Mulder is called forward “to the stand.” He swears he found a penny in the parking lot this morning & promises to bring back good news. Scully’s pretty sure he made that story up, but she’s no less hopeful that it’ll come true.
Returned from her brief stint in captivity, Missy dives right into a discussion of her niece: “Look at her, Dana, she looks just like you!”
“Well, she does have fifty percent of my DNA,” Scully concedes with an admiring glance at the little girl.
“Have you gone over to see her?”
Scully shakes her head. “I didn’t think that would be proper.”
“Are you kidding me?” Missy retorts. “First of all, Brian and Cecily are very nice people, and I’m not supposed to say this, but I think there’s a chance that Emily will be yours. Secondly, this could be your only opportunity to interact with your daughter and you’re not gonna take it?”
Scully bites her lip. Her sister knows how to craft an argument. “Alright, but you have to back me up.”
“Trust me, I wanna see her just as badly as you.”
Scully steels herself, then approaches the woman in the polo shirt. “Hello.” She does a polite half-wave, which she’s never done before and which makes her feel ridiculous. “I’m the potential adoptee, and I was wondering if I could say hello to this precious little girl.” It all feels completely out of character, like she’s reading lines from a script. But this is it, this is her reality.
The woman’s face offers little in the way of recognition. “You can have a supervised visit with her, yes,” she recites, as rehearsed as Scully.
“Great.” Scully claps her hands together. “May I take her to my sister right over there?”
The woman nods. Scully lays her hands on Emily’s waist and lifts the girl gently from the woman’s lap. She is heavier than Scully imagined, or maybe just heavier than she hoped. Every ounce is a reminder of unseen existence and unwitnessed growth.
Emily does not balk, just stares up at her mother with those probing eyes.
“Hi baby girl,” Scully coos to her daughter as she settles her against her hip. “Can you say hi? Have you got that one yet?”
The girl blinks. “Ma-ma.”
Scully crooks her neck, tries to reign in her racing imagination. All babies do this at this age, don’t they? Calling every woman mama and every man dada. Emily’s no exception. And yet...for that to be the first word her daughter has ever said to her. God winked at her, and she’s glad to have caught it.
The pair makes it to Missy, who blows a kiss in Emily’s direction. “Hey there little one.” She extends her index finger, and the girl latches onto it.
Scully cradles her baby’s head, Emily’s fine hair soft beneath her fingers.
“She’s even-keeled for a baby,” Missy remarks, wiggling her finger and watching Emily crack a smile.
“Yes,” Scully gurgles out of the sheer joy. She settles into her chair with Emily in her lap. “Do you know what she said to me?”
Missy looks up. “What?”
“Mama.” Scully dons a triumphant grin. “She called me mama.”
“Oh, no way!” Missy squeals. It’s a bit too loud and sudden, making Emily jump. The ladies laugh, and Scully pulls her daughter in closer, kissing the crown of her head. She still has that baby smell; the freshness of new life and all its purity. Scully sighs. It must have been even stronger when she was born.
Scully closes her eyes. If she had one chance to pause life somewhere along the way, to linger in a perfect moment longer, she would do it right now and she would never regret it.
“My baby…” she breathes into Emily’s ear, hoping it will stick. That one day she’ll remember and find her way home, should she need to.
A warm tear slides down Scully’s cheek and lands in Emily’s lap, a dark drop on the girl’s corduroy pants. “Mama loves you, Emily.” She tightens her embrace. “That’s me,” she sniffs. “I love you, Emily.”
Observing this, Missy feels that she is an interloper and slips off to the bathroom, leaving mother and baby to have their moment.
Scully strokes the girl’s tiny palm with her thumb. She has missed so much already, and my god, she could miss so much more. What is love, if not sacrifice? Hadn’t that been the takeaway from each week of Sunday school?
The conference door opens, and Scully finds herself irritated that life has failed to pause. Oh, what wouldn’t she do to take the reins from God, even for a moment? She looks up at Mulder, doe-eyed as he processes the optical illusion that is Emily and her mother. Said mother sees the tenderness on Mulder’s face as he comes to terms with this sight, and something in both of them breaks, and something else opens.
Mulder approaches quietly, apprehensive about ruining the moment. Little does he know, he’s not ruining it; he’s completing it.
“Hey,” Scully swoons. “How was it?”
He’s too earnest to crack a joke right now. “Less nerve-wracking than I expected,” he murmurs. “Brain and Cecily are good people.”
Scully can’t help but wonder if they’re hammering this point about Brian and Cecily to make her feel better when the gavel falls in their direction. Mulder directs her train of thought away from this when he kneels in front of Emily. His eyes are as soupy as ever, Scully notices; she could sink right into them.
“May I?”
Scully chuckles under her breath, like a stranger has just asked if they could pet her dog. “Of course, Mulder. Say hi.”
Over the past weeks, Mulder spent considerable time anticipating this initial interaction. First impressions are important, after all, and there is no one he has wanted to impress more than this sweet girl. Ultimately, he decided that he didn’t care what their meeting was, as long as it would be. And now that he’s here, knelt in front of his two favorite girls, he’s ready to make a promise.
He envelops Emily’s closed fist with one hand and uses the other to caress Scully’s palm. “I want you to know,” he begins, shifting his gaze between mother and daughter, “that I’ll always be here for you.”
He looks to Scully, realizing that Emily is unable to comprehend what he is saying. “Regardless of Brian and Cecily’s choice, I am prepared to make every sacrifice so that you two can be a family. The family you deserve to be. I know what it’s like to not have that, and christ, Scully, I’m not letting you go through that. You’ve had enough for one lifetime.”
Scully’s face puckers. She is moved on a dimension that transcends the spiritual, if such a thing is possible. She closes her eyes, lets the tears slip out, then softens her focus on him.
“Thank you, Mulder...Fox,” she effuses, needing to heighten the intimacy. “Emily and I…” she kisses her daughter’s temple again. “Well, you know. You already know.” Her voice is somber almost, reminiscent of a wedding vow’s binding utterance.
Mulder smiles up at them, pats Scully’s hand. “I know. Me too.”
There are many phrases that could fill her blank, but he chose his favorite, and he’s got an inkling that he’s right.
Scully sucks in a breath, and it’s the first one that has ever counted. Earth is new to her, again.
The door opens a second time, and the lawyer approaches with Brian and Cecily behind her.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lace would like to take some time to think about their decision,” Tanya announces. “You will understand, they hope…?”
Scully nods, swallowing back a lump in her throat. She would like to break into a tantrum, throwing chairs and screeching every obscenity she knows. Begging please, please, don’t let me miss another heartbeat. Let me live in this Heaven I’ve found. But no answer is better than an immediate rejection, so she screws her lips into a smile and gives away two more handshakes.
“Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Lace. I’m grateful for this opportunity.”
#you guysss i have been excited for this chapter since day one!!!#it only gets more emotional from here ahhhh#hope you enjoy <3#i am hugging anyone who reads this#only the light fic#missy and scully fic#the x-files#txf fic#txf#fox mulder#dana scully#melissa scully#mine
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the woman is the king, part three
summary: a throughline of the matriarchal scullys; be they ethereal, sharp-witted, and ill-omened.
i’m very excited to finally share this! definitely the most difficult part to write so far and i hope everyone enjoys it!
part 1: melissa / part 2: dana
part 3: emily
read on ao3
@today-in-fic
———
Two years on, sometimes Scully believes she will be able to survive without her other. A forgotten voice travels from immortal nirvana to her brother’s residential line. She wonders if what she tells herself is true.
1994; the lost year that exists between them. On an evening in March, returning from a field assignment with Mulder, Melissa leaves a message on her answering machine that Scully can still easily recite.
Things are too hard right now, Dana. I’m safe, I’m with friends in California. I’ll call soon. I love you.
Dana would never have been the golden child. No one surpasses a squid, especially not a fed with some shifty assignment. A shifty fed fares better than a filthy sinner. Charlie wears excommunication with unsweetened pride. And Melissa, the silly new ager, well, she could take no more.
No one thrives at the center of a Scully family scandal. Scully tries to create a rational narrative. It is 1994. Melissa is pregnant; she doesn’t want the baby. She knows plenty of people on the west coast. It was believable.
Her beloved sister, Dana, is abducted, and in the four weeks she is missing, Melissa gives birth, and the baby is adopted. Dana resurfaces in a hospital; left practically for dead. Her sister returns to stand vigil at her bedside.
It becomes a question of mindset. Maggie believes Melissa would have told her; Dana disagrees. Subversion of expectations was the ultimate sin for a Scully child as it was a denouncement of the parenting of William and Margaret. She can attest to her mother’s softening on certain expectations since the death of her father. She still disagrees.
No time for sulking, only pushing through. Working the case through Christmas clearly infuriates Bill. He keeps it to hushed whispers and snide remarks out of Tara’s earshot. Scully often wonders how privy Tara is to anything going on in the Scully family.
Her infertility stings when she looks at her sister-in-law. With her cancer now in remission, the other medicals horrors Scully faced start coming back to the surface. It is another slap; the thought that her sister gave away such a sweet little girl while she will never carry a child.
Scully is a mother. She struggles to quantify what Emily is.
Emily, a living and breathing child, with the face of a Scully, is a violation of her body that someone stole from her, and yet must be fiercely protected. Perhaps Emily is the missing piece.
Scully hurriedly fills out the application for temporary custody. It consists of the normal, straightforward questions found on any application, until her hand is hovering over that box. Single or married.
The only thing happening in sunny San Diego is a completely mundane family Christmas, as far as Mulder is aware. Her words froze during her singular phone call. It seems like reaching out now is more of a bombardment than a simple debrief.
Scully is not in a position to presuppose the enigmatic thoughts of Fox Mulder. Yes, it was by his own volition to marry her and she can even believe that Mulder does love her. It is a mutual respect and a fond devotion. It is not spousal love; not a man that loves his wife.
If she checks the box, Mulder would have to be a father figure to Emily, and it is not her place to make that decision for him. Their marriage was playing house because she was destined to die and Emily does not deserve to be a flour-sack baby in their labyrinthian game.
Her pen swipes across the paper. Single.
--
Mulder starts with M. Mmm. Emily tells him so.
Emily leaves the crayons and paper to go to the bookshelf. Mulder is sitting in the chair by the window and she gives him the book. She points to the yellow bird on the cover.
“What’s his name?”
“I think that’s Big Bird,” Mulder tells her.
Her Daddy only reads her one book at a time, Mulder reads her three. She goes to the bookshelf for more when Dana comes up close to her. “Emily, Mulder and I have to leave now, but we’ll come back tomorrow.”
Emily looks at Mulder, holding the book, and he says, “I bet you can find a good spot to keep it safe.”
She nods and sets the book against the bed, fixing it when it slides down. Dana and Mulder leave. A lady makes her pick up her crayons before dinner.
“I’m tired,” she insists, holding the lady’s hand on the way to eat.
“First dinner, then bed, Emily.”
--
A duality develops in relation to another atrocity to her body. It is a swift punch to the throat; knocking the breath so deeply out of her lungs. It is also as mundane as adding milk to the shopping list; it is only another thing.
Her brother’s phone line carries mysteries from one location to another. Landline abandoned, traveling well above the speed limit, Mulder drives toward the children’s home.
“I could have handled it,” she asserts simply.
“I know.”
Mulder, with his complexity of a hero, and innate ability to act so hoggish. Scully wonders if he really believes that.
--
Her blanket at home is pink sparkles and has Barbie on the pillows. Emily doesn’t like her new blanket nearly as much. It’s just plain pink.
The lady from dinner tucks her in. “I met Mr. Potato Head,” Emily informs her.
Emily doesn’t like the other kids in the new place, especially the boy that calls, “That’s not true! Mr. Potato Head isn’t real.”
“Yes, he is!” she argues. She struggles to sit up with the blanket holding her back. “I met him and he looks like this!” She puffs out her cheeks, making the same face.
“That must have been very exciting, Emily,” the lady adds softly, tucking her in again.
The lights turn off. Emily closes her eyes. She feels cold.
--
In the work Mulder does with Scully, it is often based more on speculation than he would ever like to admit to anyone. It disgusts him to know that if Emily were any other file in his cabinet, it would bring him joy to map out theories and spar with his partner over them. With the empty coffin staring back at them, Mulder can easily assume a thought is something neither of them want to enter their minds ever again. No hypothesizing to be done here.
Following the funeral, the San Diego bureau fares slightly kinder than their city’s court system. Their California contact, while deeply apologetic for the tragedy that has occurred here, informs them the field office won’t be actively pursuing the case. Aside from following up on a few leads pertaining to the deaths of Roberta and Marshall Sim, it will likely be deemed a cold case.
“I’m very sorry, Agent Scully,” the agent says, padding his final blow. Emily’s case will not be investigated either. Both Mulder and Scully understand the algorithm that goes into the decision of pursuing an investigation. If the case fell into the FBI mainstream, Emily’s chronic health issues, use of experimental treatments, and her parents’ full cognizance to the risks wouldn’t stand a chance against the process.
And if there was anything to investigate, it has already been destroyed by powers far outside the reach of some dinky field office anyway. Whatever the reasoning may be, another Scully woman is still failed by the United States government.
Scully wants the first flight out of San Diego back to Washington and he is more than quick to oblige her. While she very clearly loves the new addition to her family, the sting is just as obvious.
Two hours down in the air, three more to go, and they have barely said a word to each other since take-off. Scully’s head is turned toward the window when he reaches for her hand. “Scully,” he speaks, very quietly.
“No,” she responds with a shake of her head, her voice tight.
Another long stretch of silence and Mulder thinks she maybe falls asleep, which would be a welcome cause for silence, because he isn’t convinced she’s slept more than an hour or two in days. He is about to request a blanket when her forehead presses into his shoulder and the contact reveals her body shaking with the exertion of holding everything inside yet again.
It’s his fierce need to protect her always that causes him to envelope her body with his. Her arms wind tightly around his neck. Her attempts to muffle her sobs in his jacket is only partially successful.
A flight attendant taps him on the shoulder and asks him, “Is everything alright?”
“Everything’s fine,” Mulder blatantly lies. “But maybe we could get a glass of water for my wife.”
It's a rare euphoria to speak those words; his wife. Dana Scully is his wife. A mostly unmentioned fact that gives him a childishly nervous feeling in his stomach. While it never retreated in his mind, it appears to be returning to the forefront of hers.
In the winding process of applying for custody, a second application exists. Scully’s final plea to unite her with her own flesh and blood. Another document that states definitively that they are married. Mulder underwent a grilling from the judge; a practical bullying on the semantics of their marriage.
One’s subconscious works powerfully, in his experience, and when he sat in this same position on Scully’s couch six months ago, the answer came to him so clearly. It wasn’t only for her benefit as a life experience that everyone should have the opportunity to have if they so choose; cancer only sped up the timeline of an inevitably. Mulder has never taken a mightier leap with her and she accepted. A singular score for Fox Mulder.
It’s treated as though it never even existed; his presence in that way completely reverted. He wishes he had more of a chance to prove himself worthy. He wishes he was a less of pussy to actually do it. He will, he’s going to. If she is ever willing to forgive him for all of his transgressions.
Mulder carried the knowledge of her ova and of what was likely (and now, very clearly) done with it with a heaviness that rivaled the many other weights he lugs around inside him. Scully’s hope for recovery was dwindling then and it was only another way to hurt her.
It felt criminal to hijack her happiness when she went into remission and her bliss honestly fed his soul. Now, he only piles onto her pain. And if he was any kind of man, if he was someone deserving of someday being a person she would maybe, eventually, love for real, he would have been a lot fucking better.
The flight attendant delivers a glass of water and a box of tissues on a plastic tray. He takes both and offers the glass to Scully. She scoots forward to the edge of her seat, her back straightened, and it reminds him of Bellefleur, and of that young agent in her red robe, and the fear of simple bug bites. It was the moment of cosmiticity bursting into existence between them.
Scully sips water, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. His eyes never leave her for the rest of the flight. He drives her home under the glow of streetlights.
“I can keep you company, if you want,” he offers after insisting he carry her suitcase inside for her. “Might even be able to catch a replay of the Rose Bowl if we’re lucky.”
“That won’t be necessary,” she replies. One hand holds the door and the other is braced on the frame; a universal sign to get lost told through her body language. “I’m going to take a few days. I already let Skinner know.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” she agrees. “Goodnight, Mulder.”
“Goodnight, Scully.”
Once the door is shut, he hears the lock click into place. It pains him to walk away.
Mulder calls Scully in the morning as promised. He calls every morning after. It just rings and rings.
--
No one is expecting her back in the office until Monday, but by Thursday it becomes increasingly clear that a return to normalcy is what she requires. Scully can only stare at California girls immortalized by ages in threes on her mantel for so long.
She trades in her bathrobe for a beige skirt with matching jacket and she slugs down the last of a cup of coffee while she packs her briefcase. The landline rings in its cradle next to her hand. Her stockinged feet slide against the kitchen tile as she turns to answer.
“Hello?”
An unfamiliar female voice carries cheerily into her ear. “Hi there, this is Amanda over at Liberty Fertility Center. I’m looking for Fox Mulder?”
"This is...” Scully starts, and then she pauses, staring up at the ceiling before answering with a restrained sigh. “This is his wife.”
“I’m following up on a call we received from your husband earlier this week about a sample being stored at our facility and possible ova analysis. He left this as the call back number.”
Scully clicks her tongue against her teeth, nodding slowly. She barely focuses on the conversation and when it ends, she retrieves the phone book, slamming it down on the table in place of her briefcase. She dials the first promising number in the correct category.
Heat overtakes her melancholy. Scully is so, so tired of Mulder blanketing his wrongdoings under the guise of protecting her. It has always, ultimately, been her choice to walk alongside him; it was his choice to marry her. He still fills their partnership, their marriage, with secrets. He still withholds.
She can only imagine what is being done to her ova sitting in some facility. Mulder didn’t even have the decency to tell her any even remained.
Scully arrives at the office on Friday and Mulder is immersed in a sea of paperwork and photographs. It is only eight in the morning and he already has his jacket slung over the back of his chair, his sleeves rolled up over his forearms.
“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you until Monday,” he grins with surprised delight.
Mulder follows her with his eyes as she steps up to his desk. She leans down, kissing him soundly on the mouth, and she observes his dreamy stare when they part.
“I need my ova, Mulder,” she states. Scully pulls a business card out of her pocket; the law firm she called the morning before. “And I want a divorce.”
#x files#xf fic#dana scully#fox mulder#emily sim#msr#this is straight up probably the worst time of day to post lol
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Severed, Part 4
A/N This is Part 4 of my WIP, set in an alternate universe that veers off from canon during the Redux arc, but three years after those episodes (so in October 2000). Still a soft-rated R for language.
Part 1 is located here.
Part 2 is located here.
Part 3 is located here.
The two-note song of a dial-up modem droned. He was lucky when the electricity at his beach house stayed on all day, so Internet access was, by necessity, a communal affair at a local spot that served multiple functions: espresso bar, taqueria, and place to fleece the tourists.
He changed his Hotmail address monthly, but the spam still found him. Pills to reverse balding. Pills to enlarge his dick. Two for one coupons for rug cleaning. It made a guy wonder about his browsing habits and Big Brother’s opinion thereon.
He was about to log off and go for his daily swim when a new email pinged. The address was nondescript, like his own, and like the account that had informed him of his mother’s death. As before, a simple link brought him to a memorial site. This time, the obituary was his own.
Mulder, Fox William. 10/13/61 - 10/20/00. Beloved son, brother and friend. In lieu of burial, ashes will be scattered on Chesapeake Bay. “Those who do not know the value of loyalty can never appreciate the cost of betrayal.”
He stared at the monitor. Looked around the shop to see if anyone was watching him. Stared some more. It was October 23rd. According to the Internet, he’d been dead for three days. Despite being down to his last pair of clean boxers, he was remarkably well-preserved.
It was disconcerting, this evidence of his own demise. On the one hand, it was all that he could hope for. If he was dead, no-one was looking for him. If he was dead, she could move on with her life. On the other hand, it meant that she was hurting, and he was the cause. Again.
When he was given the option of faking his own death, he couldn’t follow through. He pictured Scully standing beside his grave, imagining that he had died to cure her cancer. For a woman so hell-bent on self-sufficiency, being the beneficiary of so great a gift paid for at so high a price would have been incapacitating; perhaps permanently so.
And yet he couldn’t have her searching endlessly for him. Scully was a dogged investigator, and loyal to a fault. The point of his plan was to free her of cancer so that she could live her life, not spend it combing the globe looking for a man who couldn’t be found.
He concluded that the best outcome was limbo. Mulder would be not-dead, but not-alive either. To keep her from hunting for him on some Sisyphean quest, she would need to believe that the Consortium wanted to track him down, and would try to do so through her. To his self-loathing disgust, the plan worked.
Now, someone or something had upset the delicate balance of his half-existence, and it needed to be righted again.
He opened a search engine, and did something he’d sworn to never do. He googled himself.
It was easy enough to find details of his demise: un-identified man found dead in his old apartment, statements from the Alexandria police force about the suspicious circumstances surrounding the death, body released after three days for cremation. Former FBI agent, serial killer profiler, tragic family history, missing for three years. It made a compelling read, if he forgot he was the subject.
The forensic details were harder to come by, but what he found froze his blood. Scully had performed his autopsy. Not only was he apparently dead - she was the one who confirmed it. A DNA comparison was done, with all alleles matching.
He pushed his chair away from the desk, pulse hammering in his ears. It was nearly two in the afternoon - siesta time - and the shop was almost empty. He approached the counter.
“Hola, Señor. ¿Estás listo para pagar?“ Well, that was good. He wasn’t a ghost, at least. The owner’s kid still saw him.
“Si, gracias. ¿Cuánto te debo?”
“Dos horas es cuatrocientos pesos, Señor.”
He counted out his money without his usual haggling for the “locals” rate, and turned towards the door. A thought occurred to him.
“Carlos, cuál es mi nombre?”
The kid, no older than sixteen, looked at him strangely but answered the crazy gringo anyway.
“Tu nombre es Mulder, Señor.”
He nodded slowly. “That’s what I thought.”
This day had been a long time coming. It was time to tell Scully her science was wrong.
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In Case You Missed It pt. 3
Hi folks, and happy holidays! There has been some fantastic fic floating around lately, and some may have gotten buried due to the regular promos we have been lucky enough to receive! So here’s another list of recent fic and fic updates.
unexpected by @need-not // Nita really knocked it out of the park with this fantastic little MSR smut biscuit. It’s short, but gives you just enough to satisfy those MSR cravings you know you’re feeling.
FOX by @frangipanidownunder // an insightful little bit with a hint at NSFW and a dash of angst. What’s not to love?
Whiskey Drunk by @spensierataa // Season 1 fluff. I should not have to say anything more other than we absolutely need more of this.
Ashes by @thisisstarlight // Even after her passing, Saint Maggie still has the ability to ship MSR harder than any of us, and also maintains the ability to bring our beloved duo back together. ATTHS.
Paging Dr. Scully, ch. 7: Ice (3) by @mangokiwitropicalswirl // a long awaited update to the Season One alternate universe fluff. If you’re not reading this WIP, you should be. And I don’t lie. Ever. Ever ever.
A Call to Santa by @mldrgrl // Christmas holiday fluff just in time for the holidays. Trust me when I say you need this in your life.
locking out the ghosts by @how-i-met-your-mulder // This Season Five fic is legit, and luckily for everyone who’s been dying to read it in its entirety, it’s finished. Run, don’t walk, and read this asap. Then rush and thank Grace for blessing our fandom with this greatness.
A Feeling of Home by @baronessblixen // A little bit of Revival fluff to get your heart ready for Season Freaking Eleven, Motherfellas.
The Smell of Death Becomes Her by @lilydalexf // Previously published on Ao3, but new to Tumblr. Sounds morbid af, but I promise it’s delightful.
26 of the Incrementum Series by @lepus-arcticus // Leigh has updated and my arms are about to fall off from the constant flailing. I’m so hearteyes motherfucker over this broad’s writing, I should start a fanclub dedicated to her words. Don’t judge me. Just read it, love it, and be my VP of said fanclub.
A/N: I reserve every single right to update this list as I please. Or start a new one, a part 4.
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The Only Choice - Chapter 39
Set during the events of ‘DeadAlive.’
Previous chapters can be found on A03 here. Tagging @today-in-fic
Chapter 39 – Awakenings
There was someone in her apartment. Scully could hear sounds coming from the kitchen and her heart pounded rapidly in her chest. She rushed to her bedside table to retrieve her gun but it wasn’t there. Where was her gun? That was where she always kept it.
She heard it again; this time it was the loud crash of something breaking and then a voice. The voice she ached to hear. “Scully,” he called, causing her heart to jump to her throat.
She made her way cautiously down the hallway and turned into the kitchen. There he was. He had a broom and was sweeping up the vestiges of a demolished plate. It was the most beautiful sight that she had ever seen. She wanted to weep when he turned and looked at her, but for some reason the tears wouldn’t come.
“Hey Scully. Sorry, I had a little accident,” he said casually.
“Mulder?” she whispered, hardly able to find her voice.
“Look, this isn’t my fault,” he started before she interputed.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, confusion and joy battling in her mind.
“What are you talking about, Scully? I told you at work that I was making dinner tonight. Lasagna, remember?”
“I don’t understand what’s happening,” Scully said, clutching the sides of her head.
“Here,” Mulder said, pouring her a large glass of wine, “this will help.”
“Mulder, I can’t drink. Not with the baby,” she reminded him, her brows still furrowed in confusion.
“What baby?” he asked, turning his back on her as he began to pull ingredients from the pantry.
Scully looked down to her stomach, somehow unsurprised to find it flat again. “I thought…I thought that I was pregnant,” she said faintly.
“Baby, you can’t get pregnant,” he said in an offhand manner that sent a jolt of sorrow to her stomach.
“I know, I know,” she said regretfully. “I just thought for a minute that we were going to have a baby.
“What would we do with a baby?” he asked, and suddenly they were no longer in her kitchen. They were in their office, but something was different. Instead of his office chair, Mulder was strapped naked to some huge contraption. Ungodly needles were piercing the skin of his face and chest. Over his shoulder, his ‘I want to believe’ poster taunted him as he cried out to her in pain.
“Mulder!” Scully cried, rushing around the desk to him. She tried to free him from his restraints but it was useless. “Oh God, Mulder, I don’t know how to get you out,” she said in panic, afraid to touch his bare skin in fear of hurting him.
That was when she heard the baby cry. It seemed to be coming from the storage closet at the far side of the room. Scully looked back to Mulder and then to the closed closet door in despair. What was she going to do? She couldn’t save both of them.
But then she heard the cry again and found her feet moving rapidly toward the sound. She couldn’t let them hurt the baby. Scully swung open the door and rushed to the crib inside, but it was empty. There was no baby. The office was silent.
Scully returned numbly to the desk but Mulder was gone. The device of his torture was still there, but there was no sign that he had ever been there.
She was alone. She was alone.
Scully woke with a start, sitting up quickly and groaning when her body made its discomfort known. Another dream. They had become more prevalent as her pregnancy progressed. She sighed and ran a hand over her belly, relief displacing the terror of the dream
Lowering herself back to the bed, Scully reached for her most treasured possession: her body pillow. With six weeks until her due date, unsure how she could possibly get any bigger than she already was, Scully was finding it increasingly harder to sleep. Her beloved body pillow was the only thing that could provide her even a little physical comfort. She shoved it between her knees and under her belly, seeking some relief to the ever present pain in her lower back.
This time however, her pillow let her down. After an hour of tossing and turning, Scully gave up and headed to the sofa. Propping her head on the arm of the couch and putting three throw pillows under her legs, she turned on the television, plowing through the scary landscape of late night TV. Then she found what she was looking for, the local sci-fi station coming through once again: ‘Plan 9 from Outer Space.’
It was a truly horrible movie, yet Scully must have watched at least six times since Mulder’s death. It made her feel close to him, and after the night’s dream, she needed that more than ever. She knew that one day she would watch it with their child and she would tell stories of a man named Fox Mulder.
Eventually Scully did drop off to sleep, thankfully free of nightmares, and was awoken only by a steady knocking sound. Looking at the clock, she pulled herself off the couch and stumbled tiredly to the door. She opened it to find her mother looking prim and proper, ready for church.
“Rough night?” Maggie asked with a smile, surveying her half awake daughter.
“You could say that,” Scully answered, stepping back to let her mother in. “This child is determined to not let me get a full night’s sleep. I seriously don’t know how I’m going to make it another six weeks. He’s just going to get bigger!” she whined.
Maggie laughed and guided Scully to sit back on the couch, pulling her swollen ankles up to rest on the coffee table. “You’ll make, Dana. You are almost there. So I guess this means you won’t make it to church this morning?”
“Sorry, Mom. The Sullivan sisters will have to aim their gossip elsewhere this morning.”
“Oh they just found out that Kathleen’s son has a boyfriend, you’re old news.”
“That’s good to know,” Scully said with a laugh.
“How about we both play hooky this morning. What would you say to getting a late breakfast?” Maggie asked.
Scully’s stomach growled loudly in response. “I guess there’s your answer,” she declared.
*********************************
Scully had a nice morning catching up with her mother. The rest of the day was spent tidying the apartment and beginning to assemble the crib that had finally arrived. After a couple of hours that mainly consisted of her cursing whoever wrote the instruction booklet, Scully gave up and readied for bed. She was dead tired and hoped that alone would be enough to allow her to sleep despite her discomfort.
Sadly, she was wrong.
***********************************
Scully returned home the next evening utterly exhausted. And worried.
She was worried about the X-files and what would happen to them when she went on maternity leave. She was worried that Doggett would stay as much as she was worried that he would leave. She worried that he would lose everything to them just as she had.
Her head hurt and her body ached, and after a quick dinner, Scully gave in and went straight to bed, praying that she would find some relief. After a couple of hours of tossing and turning and searching for a comfortable position, she finally fell into blissful sleep.
Which was not meant to be.
The phone rang, a shrilling noise that pulled Scully unceremoniously from her coveted slumber.
She looked at the clock. 3:24am.
She looked at the caller ID. Skinner.
She was going to kill him.
“What the hell, Walter?” she said without greeting.
“Scully, I’m sorry that I woke you, but something has happened.”
“Well it better be good,” she said, collapsing back on her pillows.
“I don’t know how to tell you this,” he began, the seriousness in his voice alerting her.
“What is it?” Scully asked softly, preparing herself for bad news.
“It’s Billy Miles. His body was found in the Atlantic by fishermen. He could have been there for weeks, but when the coroner began the autopsy, he discovered that he was alive. His body is decomposing, but he is on life support. The doctors don’t know if he’ll ever wake up, but his heart is beating.”
“My God. I don’t…I don’t understand,” Scully said, on her feet and pacing, her heart hammering in her chest.
“Scully, listen to me, I need you to sit down,” Skinner said softly, his worry for her evident.
She perched herself on the edge of the bed, clutching her belly protectively. “What has happened?” she asked in a shaky voice.
“I had Mulder’s body exhumed,” Skinner said slowly, hearing her loud intake of breath. “He is on life support. His heart is beating. He’s alive.”
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Colorado Poet Series: Interview with Alyse Knorr
The local literary scene is, one must remember, a community. (One you can be a part of, by the way, whether you’re a writer or reader!) In fact, after I interviewed the poet Elizabeth Robinson who connected me with fiction writer David Hicks, and it was David Hicks who recommended that I reach out to poet Alyse Knorr.
It was my pleasure to read two of Alyse Knorr’s poetry collections, Copper Mother and Mega-City Redux for the purpose of this interview. These collections of poetry and prose respectively are both delightfully dense and unusual explorations which perpetuate insightful cultural commentary within each of their respective narratives.
First, a little bit about Alyse:
Alyse Knorr is an assistant professor of English at Regis University and editor of Switchback Books. She is the author of the poetry collections Mega-City Redux (Green Mountains Review 2017), Copper Mother (Switchback Books 2016), and Annotated Glass (Furniture Press Books 2013), as well as the non-fiction book Super Mario Bros. 3 (Boss Fight Books 2016) and the poetry chapbooks Epithalamia (Horse Less Press 2015) and Alternates (dancing girl press 2014). Her work has appeared in Alaska Quarterly Review, Denver Quarterly, Columbia Poetry Review, The Greensboro Review, and ZYZZYVA, among others. She received her MFA from George Mason University, where she co-founded Gazing Grain Press.
Now, about Copper Mother (Switchback Books 2016):
“Through a startling mixture of forms and language, Copper Mother generates an unusual love story—of loving one’s world so tremendously that that world must be shared, at enormous risk and with unprecedented ingenuity and effort. The ‘Friends’ of Knorr’s universe bring their gentle curiosity to human heroics and frailties, and the humans—we humans—are redeemed by our eagerness to share our naked selves and by Jane, who bravely matches the terrors of mortality with a selfless faith in our capacity to love. Sincere even in its playful and fantastic moments, Knorr’s poetics emerges from a deep groove of mourning all that we have to lose and will certainly lose, every day and on the last day, perhaps most of all ‘our mothers, tired/and lovely and floral and gone.’ In that mourning, though, runs an illimitable current of open-hearted reverence that is the best of humanity and beyond its possession—that craving for contact ‘[t]his world wishes across/space’ to whomever might accept our greeting and the belief that we are already together with loved ones, those we’ve lost and those we haven’t yet met, in the slippery fullness of time.” – Elizabeth Savage, author of Idylliad
And finally, about Mega-City Redux (Green Mountains Review 2017):
In 1405, Christine de Pizan, the world’s first professional writer, published an allegorical work called The Book of the City of Ladies, in which she imagined constructing (with the help of her fairy godmothers Reason, Rectitude, and Justice) a walled city where women could live safe from sexism, misogyny, and gendered violence. Six hundred years later, we still need such a city. Mega-City Redux charts a road-trip search for this mythical city today, with the help of 21st-century feminist heroes Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xena Warrior Princess, and Dana Scully from The X-Files. Mega-City Redux is essential architecture built from ‘sword, suit, stake, and pen’ – feminine, marvelous, and mega-tough.”
– Mel Nichols, author of Catalytic Exteriorization Phenomenon
From here, we dialogue:
1. Your most recent projects, Mega-City Redux and Copper Mother inhabit unique worlds while following somewhat strange, utterly unpredictable narratives. How did the seedling ideas for these works germinate into their final works? Can you describe the creative decision-making process which led to their unique content and form?
The idea for Copper Mother came from a Radiolab interview with Ann Druyan in which Ann describes creating the Voyager Golden Record with her late husband, Carl Sagan, in 1977. NASA sent the Record into deep space with the hopes that an extraterrestrial civilization might find it, and it contains images, sounds, and languages from Earth meant to introduce our species to aliens. I started reading more and more about the Record, and started wondering what might happen if aliens did find the Record and come to Earth to talk to us about it. Ann ended up a character in the book as “Jane,” and I imagined that the aliens might have a technology that would allow present-day Jane to converse with her 1977 past-self. I’ve always been a big fan of science fiction, so I had a blast getting to play with some classic sci-fi tropes (like time travel and a moment of “first contact”) in the book.
I wrote Mega-City Redux after reading Christine de Pizan’sThe Book of the City of Ladies, a 1405 allegory in which Christine imagines building a walled city—with the help of her three fairy godmothers Reason, Rectitude, and Justice—where women can live safe from sexism and misogyny. I also wrote the book in the wake of the 2014 Isla Vista shootings, when a man shot and killed several women out of purely misogynistic hate. This violent tragedy made abundantly clear to me that we still need Christine’s City of Ladies today just as much as we did 600 years ago, so I imagined going on a road trip to find the City with my three personal fairy godmothers—Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xena Warrior Princess, and Dana Scully.
With both of these projects, once I had the premise and the characters in mind, I just wrote as many poems as I could to try and see what would happen. I love to work in the novel-in-verse form because I get to build a world and create characters and then put them into interesting situations just to see what they’ll do. I love when my characters surprise me and when the plot takes a turn I didn’t see coming!
2. How did you arrive at the decision to source the unnamed female narrator’s fearless female companions Dana Scully, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Xena Warrior Princess, as companions? How are their popular personas purposed in your work, and what effect does their pre-established backstories have on your work? Why did you choose these characters specifically?
I’m a big TV buff, and TV has always been my outlet for self-exploration and my pathway to self-understanding. When I was a young girl, I couldn’t picture myself as the damsel in distress or the love interest in the media I consumed, but I could imagine myself into the role of hero in the form of a Ninja Turtle or Batman. I only felt ready to come out as a lesbian in graduate school after watching all six seasons of The L Word. And so, I really do consider Buffy, Xena, and Dana to be my feminist heroes or role models—they made a big impact on me when I first watched their shows, and they continue to mean a lot to me today.
At the time I wrote Mega-City Redux, I had also recently read Susan Douglas’s book Enlightened Sexism, which is all about the pop culture feminist TV renaissance of the 1990s-2000s, when shows like Buffy and Xena debuted with their fiercely feminist and also really campy and fun content. Even though Mega-City Redux is about very serious social issues, I wanted to have fun with it, and I loved the idea of spending time on a road trip with these three extremely different women. I loved thinking about how they might interact—how they might annoy each other in the car and how they might care for the other. I really appreciate that they’re all such different types of heroes, which I think is important for feminist dialogue. Dana is my Reason figure—logical and intellectual. Buffy is my Rectitude figure—she tries to set things right, which is an inherently vulnerable act to take. Xena is my Justice figure—she wrestles with the thin line between justice and revenge.
What’s great about these three characters is that they’re already so complex and have so much backstory—Dana Scully is the voice of reason to her partner Fox Mulder, and she’s a very logical, left-brained doctor—but she’s also a person of firm religious faith. This kind of complexity made it easy to work with my characters’ backstories and stay true to them without caricaturing them. But my main goal wasn’t to write about the shows or the characters but rather to take them and plop them into my narrative and go on this quest with them.
3. Mega-City Redux cleverly, humorously combines feminist content with pop culture imparting an accessible, modernized spin. What reader responses have surprised or impressed you? What role do feminist works such as your own play in the current political climate?
I’m always surprised to see just how much these pop culture figures mean to folks. I’ve had readers talk to me about how they first realized they were gay because of Dana or Xena, and I had a reader recently show me a photo of she and her wife dressed up as Xena and Gabrielle (Xena’s beloved) for Halloween. I teach a class on superheroes at Regis, and I love talking with my students about why pop culture matters. TV is often lightyears ahead of the mainstream public discourse, so it can advance social justice movements in powerful ways—shows like Glee and Grey’s Anatomy won a lot of hearts and minds over to the cause of LGBTQIA rights. But TV also acts—just like the Golden Record—as a kind of time capsule snapshot of our world and our culture at this specific moment in time. I love this inherent tension, and I love the space that pop culture creates for “serious play.”
When I read works like Frank O’Hara’s poem “Lana Turner Has Collapsed” or Gary Coleman’s book of superhero poems Missing You, Metropolis, I’m always reminded of the power of writing about our celebrity or our fictional pop culture heroes. These are our modern-day “saints” and icons—our role models and outlets and thought experiments. They can act as a kind of common language through which to discuss the issues of our time, and because they exist in another, imaginative realm, they’re also inherently full of possibility and potential. These, to me, are the ingredients of powerful dialogue.
4. While the majority of science fiction works treat alien arrival as synonymous with the apocalypse, Copper Mother approaches alien arrival with a tone of friendly, casual curiosity. What reason lies behind this significant, divergent decision?
I wrote Copper Mother while I was living in Alaska, and while we were there, my wife and I received many visitors—family and friends who had always wanted to go to Alaska and finally bought their plane tickets after we moved there. So we spent a lot of our time being tour guides—showing our visitors things and places that felt totally ordinary to us but that totally blew their minds (glaciers! moose! bald eagles!). I think for this reason, I imagined a real tenderness between the humans and Our Friends. They often have awkward but always well-meaning, sweet exchanges. The humans sincerely want to be good hosts and Our Friends genuinely want to be polite visitors. I’ve always been interested in what happens when two very different cultures or groups meet and interact, and on what gets included or neglected from the tour or the introductory conversations.
I’m also very invested in the sincerity of the Golden Record project itself—it’s our only truly “species-wide” project—the only artifact we have that attempts to represent us as a unified planet rather than a fractioned collection of different groups. There’s an inherent optimism in the idea of the Record itself—a beautiful hopefulness that I wanted to capture in my book. To launch the Record into space is to believe that someone will find it who wishes us well and wants to connect with us—and that’s the possibility I wanted to envision in my book, not the terrifying (and cliche!) apocalyptic one. I’m a pretty uncynical person by nature, so this was easy for me to imagine.
5. Throughout the work, the aliens, later joined by Then-Jane, communicate through sound effects. How did you go about developing these dialogues?
The Golden Record includes a tremendous amount of sound, including an address by Jimmy Carter, spoken greetings in 55 different languages, a wealth of music (including Beethoven, Chuck Berry, Navajo night chants, and mariachi), and a series of “sounds from Earth” (wind, rain, crickets, wolves howling, cars).
During my research, I learned that many astrobiologists believe that if extraterrestrials ever actually hear the Record, they probably won’t be able to distinguish between the different sounds included—their auditory organs and understanding of language may be so different from ours that they may not know the difference between the music, language, and natural sounds on the Record. For that reason, I wanted Our Friends (and Then-Jane, since she’s a product of the Record) to speak with a mixture of all the types of sounds included on the Record. All of the dialogue they speak comes from actual Record contents, whether it’s a thunderstorm or a hyena laughing or a trumpet wail. I like the way this allows me to play with the definition of “language”—which is something the Record does, too, by including whale song not in the natural sounds portion of the content, but in the languages section!
6. And finally, info on how to purchase both works!
The best way to purchase is to go out to my website, www.alyseknorr.com, and click the licks on the books to go to the publisher’s page.
from Blog https://ondenver.com/colorado-poet-series-interview-with-alyse-knorr/
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Considerations and overview of the 4 MY STRUGGLES put yourself comfortable and good reading because this post is really very long ....(sorry if there are mistakes but I'm not english native)
MULDER - THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE We discover that the alien colonization as presented to us during the previous 9 seasons has never happened but has been replaced by a human conspiracy of high super secret people that uses alien technology to not know what exact reason if not to destabilize the current world order. For the first time in the show appears Sveta, a woman who says she had alien DNA in herself, that she was kidnapped by conspirators and used as a lab rat to give birth to hybrid children who were then taken away from her. scully tests her and the results confirm her. scully herself on the basis of her past experiences tests her blood and to our surprise, she also has alien DNA in her body. The X-files are reopened, Mulder and scully return to work together to shed a light on this conspiracy and because they have a child together (Sveta herself in a confrontation with Scully senses the boy). Last revelation CSM is not dead.
SCULLY - THIS IS THE END A pandemic of alien origin is decimating the world's population; Mulder is in danger, only William and his stem cells can save him. Scully creates a vaccine that can cure the Spartan Virus based on her alien DNA. In Spartanburg a very sick Mulder meets CSM (also working with Reyes) who offers him salvation in exchange for his alliance, Mulder obviously refuses and is rescued by Miller. On the Washington bridge as Scully reaches Mulder and Miller, a UFO arrives and stops above them
CSM - I WANT TO LIE We discover that Scully had a huge vision of a probable future. Behind the pandemic is CSM who wants to destroy humanity with the Spartan virus and leave only the chosen few alive with alien DNA or immunity from the vaccine. Scully continues to have visions and comes to the conclusion that these come from William. Scully then wants to find William to help him and save Mulder. Mulder starts looking and finds Mr Y and Erika Price wanting the boy because he is special. On the other side, Csm also wants William because he considers the boy his own. Reyes also tells him that the boy is his weakness as well as a scully. Csm finally tries to decive Skinner and tells him about En Ami when through the alien technology he had come in contact in the 50s he would have allowed Scully to have William. The purpose? Create the first super man. In the prologue he talks about old age and his children and their children in the plural. Jeffrey Spender reveals to Scully the name of William's adoptive family: Van de Kamp. Scully in the hospital tells mulder that William knows they are looking for him and that he will be hiding. Last note: for Csm it is important that Mulder dies otherwise mulder will kill him.
WILLIAM / JACKSON - SALVADOR MUNDI William is a problematic guy with great powers who unfortunately uses badly. Not only does it have the ability to alter the sight of others, but also to see the future, to make life bloom and to do evil with thought. From the events of Ghoulie he is on the run. He has visions of a horrible future that he shares with his mother, he believes that CSM is the father (from the speeches that william sees in his visions of CSM with Skinner) and he feels disgust. william sees everything csm, mulder, scully, the future in general and in fact to make cash he plays the lottery. As in My struggle 3 everyone is looking for the boy but Mulder and Scully have to find him first, it all depends on this scully says. While Scully stays home in the background, Mulder manages to find William in a Norfolk motel. When the two meet, Mulder tells him to be his father and hugs him. The boy does not contradict him and indeed protects him but tells him that it was better that he never existed that they will never let him stay and that he does not want to be part of their project. When he later meets scully in the form of mulder he tells her that she has to let him go, that he knows she loves him but otherwise they too risk dying. The last member of his family of origin that William must meet is Csm and the boy once again decides to desguise himself as mulder (the man who csm in the last 25 years has tried in every way to destroy, his firstborn son). Csm tells mulder/william to be the creator of the boy, the one who made him. why lie to mulder right now? it would not make sense? csm never uses the word father in regards of william. at this point mulder/william replies that they have nothing in common and that the boy would rather die than be part of his plans and in fact he will be shot by csm and his body falls into the waters of the port. Mulder who witnesses the whole scene shoots in turn killing csm and thus stopping the pandemic (Mr Y and Erika Preyes have meanwhile died at the hands of Mulder and William). in the final part after various deaths Scully who probably continues to perceive the presence of William Scully tells Mulder that the boy was not their son, he was not born from that act of love that they thought but he had been an experiment, an idea born in the laboratory (a probable evolution of the eugenics crossroad project as mulder had revealed in Ghoulie): why does she do it? for me she wants to say that william is an x-file but she can not because she fears a new fallout of mulder. she does not want william to become a new Samantha for Fox and then tries to stop Mulder's mental journeys by telling him that jackson is not the son they believed. She also tells him that they have to let him go as he asked her a little earlier in the sugar factory and that now there is a new reason to live: she is pregnant. Final detail: William is not in fact dead but emerges from the water with a gunshot wound on his head. William is therefore immortal and his immortality is probably the element that everyone wants.
But who is the salvador mundi? Mulder killing csm that to say the evil preventing the destruction of humanity? William who sacrifices himself and gets killed for not being used in the csm plans? But then he resurfaced by actually revealing himself for what he really is: the first super man with an alien and human DNA. Or the new child as a true miracle? It is very likely that the Spartan virus was synthesized on the basis of the DNA of william (in the laboratories where the boy was created 18 years earlier) or perhaps directly by mulder (post-intervention biogenesis); scully is immune to the virus because she has an alien DNA in herself but mulder no ... why? Probably that part of the alien DNA was removed from mulder in biogenesis when csm works it and implants it, maybe mulder is more sensitive to the virus than the others because it comes partly from his DNA through william. In any case, as a result of that intervention, the bodies of both mulder and csm must get used to the types of dna, one to that something less that now has, the other to that something more. In fact, to save the beloved, scully believes that mulder needs the stems of their boy who can completely heal the injured parts. My struggle 1, 2 and 3 are in fact valuable only if we consider the relationship between father and son of Mulder and William regardless of how the boy was created. Mulder dying, scully pushing mulder to look for william, william talking with scully through visions of the future to prevent the pandemic and mulder's death. William foresees the future in general and shares part of his visions only with scully thanks to their alien DNA and the mother-child relationship (which then becomes decisive even in x-files). None of his possible fathers ... neither mulder nor csm have visions. The father son relationship is not as strong for carter. has Csm a self-healing technology since between My struggle 1 and 4 is healthier in appearance? I believe that instead having alien DNA in their bodies has helped csm (thanks to the intervention of biogenesis), jeffrey (after the experiments to which the poor has been subjected) and scully (obviously the chip and the various tests during the kidnapping) to heal in the long run and to regenerate its reproductive cycle (maybe the 2 human and alien DNA had to be melted and time was needed). So the faces of csm and jeffrey are less damaged and scully is again able to conceive a child. Jackson immediately trusts Mulder when he knocks at the door and does not deny mulder's claim to be his father even though he wonders why they have no visions, he understands that he is a good person and protects him, he does not want him to die. As for csm instead he says he would rather die than be part of his plans now that he knows the truth. But which? That he was created in the laboratory for evil purposes but that there are people (his biological parents, Scully and Mulder) who love him? that there are people who wants to use him to hurt others? Who want to analyze him because of what he is or has? because maybe he was not born from the csm eugenics experiments as believed but was actually conceived naturally as the child that Mulder and Scully are expecting now? Mulder andc Scully are taken between two opposite fellings: they are facing an immense pain regardless of how William was created and an unexpected happiness for a newborn child that they do not know how to deal with. The "let him go", and the "he was an experiment not meant to be" bring to mind the words that Mulder used when he tried to comfort Scully after the loss of Emily. She pulls his hand hard and puts it on her belly to say feel here is our son. Without speaking she tells him not only here is our son but we did it together, on this there is no doubt. and Mulder's face is so ... ??? I do not know how to describe it. she cries and nods and he is incredulous with tears in his eyes and clench. spectacular with that music below then. there is love, despair, happiness. they are both very good! and then I find very nice the choice to have told him only at the end, you understand very well that she knows from the beginning of the episode but wait to let Mulder do what he has to do. in the episode "Willam" a DNA test is done on Jeffrey Spender to know if he is or not mulder ... so I wonder .. you really want a doctor like a scully never did a test on william to compare the DNA with that of mulder and confirm the paternity? When Jeffrey injects the magnetite to the child he says he does it to destroy the csm plans and save william .. so what exactly does jeffrey know? that william is the son of mulder and scully but was created in a laboratory by his own father using technology and alien DNA mixed with them? But why does not he say it to scully, nor then nor in my struggle3? Is this the reason why in a paragraph on ghoulie.net Rever aka William says that in his body there are 3 distinct DNA? The eugenics experiments also return to Fouder's mutation. Kyle has super powers very similar to those of William: he explodes the heads and scully wonders if she was just an incubator for william.
The two children of mulder and scully are complementary to each other, they are the yin (black) and the yang (white): one is the son of science, the other of love. One male, the other almost certainly female with both grandparent names ... William and Margareth? The adam and eva of the new human / alien generation
William has always shown a special nature since the early days but is at the age of 11 that his powers increase (from the Truth we know that in 2012 the alien colonization was planned). In Providence Josepho says there are elements of good and evil in william. which part will be most preponderant in William depends on the father. If mulder dies, William will be bad. Is that why csm wants mulder dead? About the prophecy of Josepho ... in the episodes Providence and Provenance.... the prophecy says that if Mulder dies, William will lead the colonists (who were in league with the CSM) and then he will be an evil leader, perhaps the new representative of the consortium. If Mulder lives, instead William will follow his father and join the resistance and fight for the truth. In any case, the important part is to stop the forces of evil, hence Mulder must live. So while the colonists are gone, CSM is still there and with William sacrificing himself to make Mulder live, the prophecy is complete. I do not think William wanted to die because he had low self-esteem, but because he thought it was a danger to others. Actually I think the dialogue reflects the train of thoughts in the prophecy well enough. W: "I'm a danger to people ... I've seen the future, all right? I have visions. I know what happens if they catch me. All the people who are gonna die ... Look, I do not want to live in that world. " He clearly says that he does not want to live in a world like the one he sees after the CSM men have captured him. M: "And, I do not know, maybe I can stop it." W: "If I did not exist -" M: "It's not your fault, William." W: "Yes, it is." M: "Then let me help you stop it." W: "You can not. All right? 'Cause you die, too. " He says that Mulder can not stop him - not because he is incapable of stopping him for lack of skills, but because he too will die. Or in other words, if it does not die, it could stop it. It is at least implicit that he knows the importance of Mulder. In any case, here we are again, if there is a chance to stop him, Mulder must not die. William could have disguised himself as anyone on CSM's path, or he could have tried to get himself killed in dozens of other ways. But he chooses to get himself shot by CSM believing him Mulder. I do not think this is a coincidence. By sacrificing himself to mulder, the prophecy is finally fulfilled. When William emerges from the water he has an expression of happiness / liberation because the evil incarnated by csm (creator) has finally been killed by mulder (father)? it’s because he does not have more visions of that terrible future? it’s because he does not perceive more threats? it’s because he knows that scully finally supports him and that she/they will let him have a life? it’s because he knows that Mulder and Scully can be happy again? If william scully has disappeared in the adoption bureaucracy, jackson van de kamp disappears into the freezing dark waters of the port of norfolk. When the boy emerges from the water, he is a new person, or rather, he can always be one who has always been destined to be but has never been: that is, William Mulder, the salvador mundi.
And here we find another element to suggest that Jackson is the son of Mulder ... that’s to say the religious symbolism: - 1) we start from Scully that is seen as Rachel then that will give birth to a second child in old age ... let's forget for a moment that Rachel dies in childbirth we are in 2018 and we are in x-files... today it is not possible to die in childbirth especially if you have alien DNA in you 2) Mulder is seen as Rachel's husband: so Jacob ... it does not make you strange that CC have chosen Jackson as the new name for William? Jackson = Jack-son or better son of Jack (Jacob) - 3) the salvator mundi thing: William who dies and rises? Mulder who kills his father by stopping his plans? always to keep religious argument in mind when Wiliam comes out of the water he has the scar of the bullet in the forehead like a stigma.
little digression did you notice from the photos how the relationship mulder scully evolves ... from estranged to closer and closer ... until you get to the miracle of a second pregnancy.
is everything right? do you have any other ideas? did I miss something? do you see other links between the episodes?
#the x files#my struggle iv#mulder and scully#mulder#fox mulder#scully#dana scully#chris carter#mulder scully kids#william#william scully#mulder and william
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The Mouse and the Fox
It had been rumored for a while now. DISNEY BUYS FOX. Nothing is quite official yet (even as I am writing this). You go on any website, Facebook post, or movie forum…there is a debate about the significance of such a HUGE EVENT (and this is HUGE for Disney - bigger than Pixar, Marvel, or Lucasfilm rolled into one). On the surface - this is great for an assortment of reasons. But digging deeper into the actual thought - DISNEY BUYS FOX - it’s not so great for a lot more reasons that makes movie buffs such as myself, a little nervous. I guess that applies to all of life - with each pro, there is a con. With each con, there is a pro. The current Star Wars films are a case-and-point of that very essence…
…PRO, we get new Star Wars films(!)…
…CON, but Disney will milk the shit out of it until there is nothing left(!)…
…PRO, but, again, we get new Star Wars films(!)…
…CON, but, again, all Disney has been doing is making fan-service and nostalgia-based film within the confines of what the general audience knows instead of taking risks and going further into the galaxy far, far, away (that’s just based on the two Disney’s Star Wars films - no, haven’t seen ‘The Last Jedi’ yet!)…
…PRO, but, again, we get new Star Wars films(!)…!
THE GOOD.
The obvious mindset that all movie nerds, comic book nerds, and any avid Marvel fan-boy will automatically say without hesitation - 'OH MY GOD, X-MEN AND THE FANTASTIC FOUR WILL FINALLY BE INSERTED INTO THE MARVEL 'VERSE!’ Though I have my doubts it will be the current or past X-Men actors/actresses (for continuity purposes). That in itself has its own set of pros and cons. Yes, after PHASE 3 is over - I expect a LOT of mixing and matching of Marvel related films. By then, Disney might try to completely yank Sony into their pocket so they can get their hands on Spiderman (for good). Then again - would Disney/Marvel had made such great films like 'X-Men 2’ (which is still better than ANY of the MCU films), 'Days of Future Past,’ 'Deadpool,’ or 'Logan.’) Let’s be honest, though - while Fox had been hit or miss with the X-Men films, they truly missed the mark for 'Fantastic Four,’ three times in a row. I have mixed feelings for the X-Men series being reintroduced into the Disney/Marvel fold - but I am all for the Four! I could also see a crossover with the Fantastic Four and the Incredibles!
Another good aspect here is Disney will FINALLY get their hands on the original Star Wars trilogy. “But, they bought Lucasfilm, right?” True - but they can’t distribute/release any Star Wars films prior to 'The Force Awakens.’ I believe Fox still owns the rights to the original trilogy. If Disney could get their hands on it, it will be interesting to see IF they release the original, de-George Lucas-ized trilogy.
There are also other encouraging points to note - James Cameron’s 'Avatar’ films are under the Fox banner. That would help build-up the Avatar sections at Disney parks more with the multiple sequels coming out, someday.
With Disney launching their own streaming service soon-ish, having all of Fox’s catalogue of films would benefit Disney (though, would they object to films like 'Fight Club,’ Die Hard,’ 'The Simpson’s Movie.’) And that also raises a question about the Fox Network. Fox News and Fox Sports is off-limits. Does that include the Fox Network, known for ‘The Simpson's’ and ‘The X-Files’? Not going to lie - would love to see a Mickey/Minnie Fox Mulder and Dana Scully plush dolls! Then again, would that also include FX? Would we see a tamer version of 'American Horror Story?’
CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER.
'Alien,’ 'Planet of the Apes,’ 'Die Hard’ - oh my! Aside from the X-Men series, all three are HUGE historical franchises for 20th Century Fox.
'Planet of the Apes’ alone has had a very successful critically and box office success with their current prequel series. I don’t really love the classic films of the Ape movies (sorry mom!) And we won’t discuss that shitty Tim Burton remake! But 'Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ is a good, solid film. 'Dawn of the Planet of the Apes’ is a better film. And 'War for the Planet of the Apes’ is even better yet, with a satisfying ending that could be considered the conclusion of a GREAT trilogy. I am very happy it was made BEFORE this possible merge of film studios, as I don’t think Disney would have made 'War’ the same way it was made. But will we see more Apes movies?
Ironically - Disney made two Narnia films, which weren’t that great. Fox bought the rights to do a third film which also wasn’t that great.
More questions arise, though. Will Disney be okay with a hard-R ‘Alien’ film? Yes, they have unleashed mature material under the Touchstone banner - and they were also attached to Miramax for little over a decade. They also are open to the adult-oriented Marvel shows on Netflix. But none of these they really shelled out a lot of money for. ‘Alien’ would require a big budget, and the okay to scare/gross out the masses! That leads into another question – Ridley Scott wants to do more ‘Alien’ films, ahem, without Aliens in these ‘Alien’ films. Will he get his wish granted?
What about ‘Die Hard’? That series itself is hit or miss - but there was a sixth film that was in development for a few years now. Will that be nixed?
And finally - will Anastasia be considered a Disney princess now, since a majority of the masses always confused the film to Disney, when it was ALWAYS under the Fox banner?
THE BAD.
I was all for Disney buying Pixar. Makes perfect sense. Marvel, okay. Lucasfilm? Sure! But Fox?!?
Fox is known for being one of the big six movie studios. It’s not the oldest movie studio, but has a long, great history. Admit it - when you think of a Fox film - the Fox marching anthem comes to mind. When I think of 20th Century Fox, I think of such well-known and beloved films like 'Big,’ ’The Sound of Music,’ ‘Independence Day,’ ‘Mrs. Doubtfire,’ ’'Miracle on 34th Street,’ 'Minority Report,’ ‘Lifeboat,’ 'Home Alone,’ ‘The Snake Pit,’ ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still,’ ‘The Omen,’ 'Donnie Darko,’ ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show,’ ‘The Grapes of Wrath,’ ‘Speed,’ ‘Young Frankenstein,’ ‘Project X,’ ‘Say Anything… ,’ ‘Max Dugan Returns ,’ ‘The Diary of Anne Frank ,’ ‘The Fly,’ ‘Edward Scissorhands,’ …and the list goes on.
Point is - the company has a rich history with so many great, versatile, memorable films. As much as I love Disney, I really don’t think they would release half of the films Fox had been known for, including the films under the Fox Searchlight banner. And that raises even more questions for the future of these types of films - as well as the future for film in general. With less competing studios out there making films, there are fewer films out there in the market. Sure, oh my gosh, Wolverine and Hulk will finally beat each other up on screen together - but we actually lose ground to potential films.
Maybe that’s a good thing, though. Perhaps those films that would’ve gone to Fox - will be going to Netflix. And they have been killing it with quality original content.
THE UGLY.
Mickey Mouse can be a bully. They are bullying movie theaters, bullying news reporters. The more studios/companies they buy, the bigger they will push their weight around. That’s mostly what I am concerned about. As much as I love the company, I can’t deny/ignore the fact that Mickey can be a bully on the playground.
The movie theater bullying does hit a nerve myself, having worked at my share of movie theaters over the years. While Disney is revered by most and the masses - theater management do have a love/hate toward Disney because with how much Disney owns the market now (after the Fox purchase, what then?!?), it gives less versatile films/stories to showcase in theaters. And with a theater in a small town - what is that theater supposed to do, screen 5 sets of Disney films in a 5-plex theater?
OH WELL!
I digress - everything is speculation. Nothing is official yet. Who knows what the future will bring? And the bright side of things - should be interesting to see what may or may not happen. I am giddy for the future of Marvel (and waiting to see more movie studios fail at the Cinematic Universe attempts!) I am curious to see how Disney would approach an ‘Alien’ film (can’t be any worse than AVP!)
One thing is for sure - this is HUGE, and a win for Disney. I am torn between the movie buff in me, and being someone that does have love for Disney.
***
“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” - Walt Disney
Update: It is official now. Doesn't change my initial thoughts above.
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INTRODUCTION:
hey hi hello!! i’m esther, i use she/her pronouns, and i live in the est timezone. i’ve been casually stalking these tags for weeks now and i’m legit stunned at how talented y’all are!!
A GAME OF FAVORITES:
FACECLAIM: this is a v v long list, but to name a few i’d say rj king, priyanka chopra, douglas booth, margot robbie, reece king, alfie enoch, francisco lachowski, matthew daddario, godfrey gao, emeraude tobia, annnd aja naomi king MUSE: i have so, so many beloved children but i’d say all-time favorite is probs aaron kross, stoic assassin determined to create justice CHARACTER: oof okay i’d say michaela pratt (htgawm), fiona gallagher (shameless), fox mulder (x-files), jughead jones (archie comics/riverdale), connor walsh (htgawm), and eliot waugh (the magicians) LITERATURE/FILM: my fav book is probably the great gatsby, but legit anything fitzgerald writes gives me hearteyes. fav movie is kill your darlings, or if comedy specials count, then john mulaney’s comeback kid (a true american classic!)
TWO TRUTHS & A LIE:
1. I met Dan Rad over the summer and got his autograph plus a hug. 2. When I lived in Amsterdam, my roommate’s best friend was a prostitute working in the Red Light District. 3. The only Leo DiCap movie I haven’t seen all the way through is Titanic.
THIS OR THAT:
Coffee or Tea? Pancakes or Waffles? Kittens AND Puppies? Netflix or Hulu? Libraries or Museums?
POISON IVY:
i heard about poison ivy from a few people i’d stayed in contact with post-tsop, most notably ferb. also purpurum owns my heart and soul!! i’ve only made tiny dents in his app but i’m so hearteyes for him!! and i think i’ve rlly only got time to apply for one chara but i’ll give honorary mentions to aliquam, indicus, alba, achates, and lapis bc i love and would die for any of them
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