#this one is way more comprehensive!!
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nedlittle · 7 months ago
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apropos of nothing, here are some gay historical fiction novels that engage with historical queerness in thoughtful, complex, and interesting ways (organized chronologically)
hild by nicola griffith ↪ early 7th century england
a tip for the hangman by alison epstein ↪ 1585-1593 england
confessions of the fox by jordy rosenberg ↪ 1702-1724* england
the confessions of frannie langton by sara collins ↪ 1812-1826 jamaica to england
patience and sarah by isabel miller ↪ 1816 america
devotion by hannah kent ↪ 1830s prussia to australia
the sweetness of water by nathan harris ↪ 1865 america
whiskey when we're dry by john larison ↪ 1885 america
the city of palaces by michael nava ↪ 1897-1913 mexico
tipping the velvet by sarah waters ↪ 1890s england
at swim, two boys by jamie o'neill ↪ 1915-1916 ireland
the gods of tango by caro de robertis ↪ 1913-1920s argentina
uncommon charm by emily bergslien and kat weaver ↪ 1920s america
the book of salt by monique truong ↪ 1930s vietnam to paris
the amazing adventures of kavalier and clay by michael chabon ↪ 1939-1954 america and beyond
the flight portfolio by julie orringer ↪ 1940 france
the savage kind by john copenhaver ↪ 1940s america
a thin bright line by lucy jane bledsoe ↪ 1950s america
*this one has a framing device and footnotes from the present day but the bulk of the story is set in the early 1700s
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rainedroptalks · 10 months ago
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What is it with fantasy high and girls dying before their lives ever began. How we can never really know who they are, or who they could’ve been. Brennan Lee Mulligan I will find you
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old-skyguy · 4 months ago
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Look.
Ace Attorney fandom.
I know why people don't like Turnabout Bigtop. I am among the people who dislike Turnabout Bigtop.
But I GET why people like the case. I'm not going to be one of those annoying people who just blindly dump on it because I hate those mfs too.
Thing about Bigtop isn't that it sucks. Thing isn't the weird grooming stuff (though that is a huge part of it). It's not that it could've been good.
It's that - in my personal OPINION - it could have been *great*.
I think it had the potential to be one of the best third cases in the trilogy. It had everything; a fun and goofy setting fit for a pretty dang goofy lawyer game - where the environment itself had jokes and quips and one-liners and mishaps and tomfoolery written all over it, it had the previous case introducing a very interesting and important plotline that gave background for one of the more well-loved characters while also introducing an equally fucked up and lovable new one who was a child forced into a shit childhood of naivete in a CIRCUS with another character who was very naive and childish - whose interactions could have been funny and cute and reflective of said shit from the previous case (seriously she becomes such an important character in the 4th case, WHY would they not include her in this one for some character development? How did they fuck up letting a CHILD explore a CIRCUS?? That would have made the interactions flow MUCH better).
They had a pretty good, sympathetic killer imo, a morally dubious victim, an asshole of a client (who was pretty flat admittedly in-game, but I like his weird, topsy-turvy reasoning for it in the anime. Also, I think Max being kinda a dick would have bode well for the themes of Farewell since most of his clients up to this point have been like...nice? Not nice, but sympathetic, but him having to defend someone who's innocent but a prick would have shown him that just because someone is an asshole, doesn't mean they deserve to suffer for it and that they have the potential to grow as people, which is almost a complete foil to what Matt was. Ultimately, I would have loved the contrast of them as clients and I think it would have also served as character development for Phoenix, especially with his low-empathy tendencies).
They just didn't think that far ahead. They just didn't execute it well enough. They just decided to make three of the adult characters fight for the hand in marriage of a teenage girl. (Bat's part of the story was actually kinda good if he was just YOUNGER, I think him doing that for Regina would have been a stupid thing someone in the circus would do to impress their crush. Damn you Ace Attorney and your weird treatment of underage girls!!)
It just flopped and that's ok.
Even though it kinda sucked, it can still mean something to me.
Also I'm a Moe Curls apologist. I liked him, shut up.
#didn't care for the dialogue either.#DON'T GET ME STARTED ABOUT FRANZISKA DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T YOU DARE GET ME STARTED#THIS CASE WAS SO GOOD FOR HER DEVELOPMENT THAT'S NOT EVEN A “COULD HAVE” THING#sure she could've been fleshed out a bit more#but the stuff we get from our interactions with her in this case is GOOD. SHIT. It's just that this case is so hated that it's overshadowed#and yeah. i like Moe Curls. i think he's cool and he added some flair in an otherwise bleak case.#i think his whole unfunny clown schtick was very entertaining. it reminded me of this one shel silverstein poem i loved as a kid#clooney the clown.#tbh ive wanted to rewrite Bigtop for a while now#get a script together and all that. but im an amateur writer who's burnt out as shit and never posts anything writing related#except analysis i get way too excited and proud of. oh well#maybe someday.#also rq why does every other tripple-a game get really good in depth analysis video essays#with their complex literary themes talked about#but with Ace Attorney - a game about reading longer than most books - half the fans have the absolute most dogshit literacy comprehension#it's actually painful. ESPECIALLY with Franziska's character#anyway i'll stop.#ace attorney trilogy#ace attorney#ace attorney justice for all#turnabout big top#franziska von karma#phoenix wright#phoenix wright ace attorney#pearl fey#farewell my turnabout#moe curls#regina berry#ig ore if this is incomprehensible i did not proofread this.#i simply do not like how fran's only traits to somea these mfs is “annoying overemotional teenager haha grumpy whip lady”
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chipjrwibignaturals · 1 month ago
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edithdraws · 1 year ago
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Listen they barely interact face to face but Adam Warlock and Mistress Death have the funniest dynamic of all time actually.
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targaryenfamilyorgy · 3 months ago
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Reading comprehension i miss u pls come back to the people
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swallowtail-ageha · 4 months ago
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I think someone should study the fact that all of the moral issues people have with coleen hoover are just the modern day version of "this erotic literature will corrupt our pure women!"
#she literally. she literally writes modern day bodice ripper romances. y'all grandmas#consumed that shit as if tomorrow wouldnt come#hell i myself think that her writing sucks but. im not gonna raise a rabble or go on a moral crusade with 'oh i am so worried for the young#girls who might read this and think abuse is ok!' which is just. so incredibly stupid#and is one of the instances where people will literally blame anything but the abuser themselves in a DV situation#(and like doesnt account on how girls can and do know how to differentiate fiction from reality#me reading smutty bully harry stiles fics at twelve with dubious consent didnt lead to my grooming#because i *knew* that an asshole beating you up at school and then saying no i love u now was wrong and abusers#are way more insidious than that#there are also people going 'oh but her being widespread is the reason why media literacy is so low' baby it doesnt work like that#the booktoker saying she cant read stories that are too complicated wouldntve been miracolously a good reader if coho didnt exist#she wouldve just read. harry potter or other YAs. media literacy and reading comprehension are tools that can be sharpened#but aren't really *gainable* yknow unless they are put into you really young thru school and we all know school doesnt do that#also comment i found funny was someone going 'teens who read coho will grow up saying that wuthering heights is a love story'#<-da hell is that thang. whuhei is 100% a love story all the players being assholes doesnt mean it isnt a romance
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pageofheartdj · 2 months ago
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You know it's annoying how people accept gender being a complex thing. How the way you identify and the way you present are not the same. How complicated and fluid your gender can be.
And then turn around and deny ALL of it for sexuality. That sexuality is binary and strict.
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itscontinental · 3 months ago
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is this some kind of ARG? or a surreal art page? like what's going on here, i'm a little confused
Well will you LOOK AT THAT!
The question has finally been asked; Lord, and it's only taken... Seventy-three days amidst the meddling English and approximately... three years since we got so incredibly high in the literal incest-capital of New York that we uttered our first "hello" in Turkey...
I'd say mimosas are in order, wouldn't you, Yes? They're bottomless, the mimosas--so the order itself is simply "we" (such BEING the order, that is-- the actual order of orders themselves being One mimosa after the second mimosa and etcetera mimosas being the present...or three).... I'm lush, haven't I mentioned? and we've met... Haven't we? Have we even met? And aren't you a glass of water And me? (save pleased as punch to meet you)
Why...
I come with every room, am only yours and Continental Breakfast.
AND, perhaps in meter or in half-hearted rhyme, and to be honest that's only if we are really feeling like it, which we usually are, so If you cannot hear it just try it again and then maybe keep on trying but in an accent; I'm to be had and heard and chosen and you should be choosing choosing choosing: a. (option) b. (obtion) c. (option) Or than just the three Over and over until are full and free of us and fattened.
We are also Sketch-Comedy Fan-fiction. Nor have you been doing much choosing.
Above all else, we are a bit about a bit
and Grade A-stuff: hysterical, I swear; Its got a whole ants-in-the- pants bit, I mean... It's top-notch writing, Rarely do we force the rhymes, rarely rating, the breakfast, rarely rancid, Grade-C considering what we stake on it Which is our entire identity and it.... and it uh...
and In moments of weakness perhaps we should warn that we may reveal ourselves, failing to rhyme and threatening our own lives, but that is only then man behind the curtain
and all he does is lies
Now where were, ah yes, one for you and for us (including you), mimosas: these; drink up and elect an option. Just not the one they all do, please You just so happen to be the VERY FIRST to say something that we have already written, In your case a handful (true story), of responses to.
the game was different alone in the dark in the woods Writing it then... But these things change As things have a tendency to do
So to answer your question, Save a meal before lunch Continental Breakfast is above all else For you
In response to "yes but what IS Continental Breakfast"
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In response to "What is it though"?
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sourced from full page HERE
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fluffs-n-stuffs · 8 months ago
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"Cuhut it out- you guys!" "Nu-uh, not until you're all perked up first! You don't want those gym challengers meetin' with an ol' mopey leader, do ya?" "Whitney's right, dear friend. No need to hide that beautiful smile of yours, alright?~"
What it takes to cheer up Johto's beloved ghost boy 👻💕
#some incredibly self-indulgent fluff for my own sake SKJDFSNDFS#Morty was having one of Those days where the weight of his responsibilities as leader and expectations as someone meant to bring back Ho-Oh#-felt a little too heavy to handle (more so than usual)#luckily his best friends (and mayhaps crush of nearly an entire decade) are here to take a stand against his low mood 🤼#I've been having brainrot of Whitney's dynamics with these two alrighttttt they all deserve to be silly with each other#best wingman award goes to this girlie for putting up with these two's mutual pining antics for years sdkfjskjdfh#the way I see it Morty and Whitney were besties way back before they had even become leaders (with Morty being the older between them)#there were definitely rumors going around between their towns about how they're an item#when the reality is that Whitney's more focused on winning the affections of the other cute girls she hangs out with#while Morty's a repressed gay lad burdened with religious guilt SDJFHUISJDNFS /LH /LH#the second Whitney caught wind of Morty actually developing a crush on someone you just Know she was on his ass Immediately#asking about aaall the details--who he is- what he does- how he dresses- if he could even conceivably pass her standards of how a--#--fitting partner for her best friend's meant to be#to which an incredibly exasperated Morty struggles to answer because Eusine is just beyond his comprehension /affectionate#when Whitney does eventually get to meet him in person the first time she most certainly takes a jab at his fashion sense SDKJFSDFNS#BUT they do end up getting along a lot better than Morty braced for- which was a huge relief to him#it soon reaches that point where Eusine's secretly asking her for details on the things Morty likes and how to possibly impress him#all the while Morty's asking her for advice on how he could cope with his feelings when he's still unsure on whether they'd be requited#Whitney finds the whole ordeal simultaneously very funny and perhaps one of the most frustrating things imaginable SDKJFSKDNFS#enough of me yapping thouuughhhhhh I should save that for its own post 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️#pokemon tickle#gym leader morty#morty pokemon#gym leader whitney#whitney pokemon#mystery man eusine#eusine pokemon#eusine#lee!morty#ler!eusine
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remnantglow · 10 months ago
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I've been writing my own sci-fi universe on and off after new Trek disappointed me, and has continued to disappoint me. If I had to sum it up it would be Star Trek but more overtly communist and also military sci-fi. I've mainly been inspired by things I've read/played/watched, which has mainly been made by white or western creators, so I wanted to ask if you had any recommendations for sci-fi made by POC creators to broaden my horizons.
omg of course!!! (with the caveat that unfortunately non-Western scifi specifically is a bit of a blindspot for me, so most of these will be Western authors of colour)
Babel-17 by Samuel R. Delany
Dawn by Octavia E. Butler
Binti by Nnedi Okorafor (& i recommend reading the complete trilogy - imo it works best read together as one whole)
The Space Between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson
Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang
New Suns: Original Speculative Fiction by People of Color ed. by Nisi Shawl
How Long 'til Black Future Month? by N.K. Jemisin
I'm Waiting for You and Other Stories by Kim Bo-Young
And 2 that i personally haven't read yet but i think NEED to be mentioned, especially if we're talking space stories:
Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee (also military scifi!)
An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon
also, short story anthologies!!! if you're looking for new authors or want to explore works from a specific culture/place, they're a great way to do that. here's a couple from my own reading list for this year:
Palestine + 100: Stories from a Century after the Nakba
Africa Risen: A New Era of Speculative Fiction
Readymade Bodhisattva: The Kaya Anthology of South Korean Science Fiction
Sinopticon: A Celebration of Chinese Science Fiction
& finally, i don't really watch a lot of tv/movies, but i do wanna wholeheartedly recommend:
Everything Everywhere All At Once
Janelle Monáe's Dirty Computer (free on youtube and an absolutely top tier example of afrofuturism)
Nope
They Cloned Tyrone
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b4kuch1n · 2 years ago
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wizard looking for a way home (aka wizard of dark space)
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britneyshakespeare · 26 days ago
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I think everyone wants to own a complete works of Shakespeare and I want to get everyone a complete works of Shakespeare that is right for them
#as long as it's not one of those dime a dozen copies w squished text and no notes 🖤#b&n book annex don't interact. canterbury classics don't interact#i have a friend that i went antiquing w recently who got a decameron illustrated by rockwell kent#and their birthday is coming up and my toxic trait is that i wanna get them the complete works illustrated by rockwell kent#even though im not sure that's the most readable copy for a 21st century reader to begin with#i havent actually read a play in one of those admittedly. i know they have the cambridge notes in the back of the book#but that's a lot more work than having it at the bottom or side of the page#idk if they'd be down for that much flipping tbh. i know flipping isn't my favorite#especially in a big book#and idk if the cambridge notes would even be that approachable for them? idk the annotation style#tales from diana#ive been trying to get a taste for more editions of shakespeare lately and mostly that's just been within copies of individual plays#and i feel like this is a journey i kinda started too late#like i read titus andronicus in a folger edition which probably wouldve been gamechanging to me in 2018#but as a reader w years more experience it was just kinda giving me more than i needed. i found it excessive#versus when i was a beginner i often felt lost even w the notes in my riverside shakespeare#i felt like it was still above my reading level (and it was) especially when it would reference things i was barely familiar with#whereas in 2024 it's like my riverside is my baby. and but for its large unwieldiness and perilous condition. i could read from it forever#i read not a shakespeare play in an arden edition recently but philaster by beaumont and fletcher. same editing team though#i thought the notes were sometimes a little excessive but they certainly weren't kinda basic like folger's#i thought at times maybe they could split it up w some of those historic or cultural commentary sort of notes#like those were what i would rather flip to the back to read later. as opposed to taking up like half the page#oxford english classics kinda does that too but w their longer annotations i think flipping to the back makes sense#bc arden somewhat is flooding the white space abd straining my eyes. even though other than format it's very similar editing#i like my rsc complete works and what ive read of the individual plays a lot but there's just one thing about the complete works#that i have a qualm with. i respect that they have a single column for the text#as opposed to two-column... i understand for some it scans better and helps w comprehension#i wish the notes on the bottom were in two columns though. bc the way they run on w such a wide margin#i genuinely lose my place a lot. in the small text. kinda hate that part of the reading experience#and when there's lines of prose it can also be harder to scan
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rigelmejo · 3 months ago
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Something that always annoys me is the idea only 1 language learning method works. Which is not true. While it may be possible that, for a particular individual, only a few out of many study methods may work well enough for That Individual to make progress and stay motivated... that doesn't mean all the other study methods won't work for anyone else out there, or that those few methods will work for every other given person.
Obviously if you've been studying a while, then you already figured out what kinds of things work for you and don't. If you're a beginner, just wading into studying?
I would suggest you simply look for study methods that: 1. Teach you new things regularly, 2. Review and practice things you've learned, 3. Include studying things you need for your particular goals (for example if your goal is to read X book then the study materials at some point should involve reading practice and some words the book contains, if your goal is to talk about Y then the study materials should include some information about pronunciation and words you'll need to be able to say).
As you can imagine, a TON of study materials will meet these requirements. And you can study a given skill in a LOT of ways.
(Reading is my focus lol so just for reading, a beginner might: do vocabulary study with lists or conversations with native speakers or watching shows and looking words up or listening to dialogues with a transcript like in a textbook or graded readers or a picture book with word labels in the target language or a video game with labelled objects in target language, all of those things as long as your vocabulary is improving or reading practice is happening would help you make progress). So to improve reading skill as a beginner: you could study with a textbook, a podcast with transcript, a classroom or tutor with words written down in target language (like TPRS), a video game, a TV show and a translate app on your phone, a friend you talk with (who either writes words down or you look up words you hear with a translate app), a friend you text with, srs flashcards like anki (provided there's text) etc. As long as there's new words, and/or you're practicing reading, the study method may work. If it works will come down to if you can stay motivated doing it regularly, and make sure you regularly learn some new things and review/practice things you've already studied.
So consider those things when you see people selling a study method as a product (especially when it's costing you money). Consider if it teaches you NEW things, and are those new things related to your goals, and how MUCH new stuff will it teach you before you finish it? Consider if it provides review or practice, or if you can use it's materials to review on your own making up your own method, or if you'll need to do separate review/practice.
So examples:
LingQ. Can it teach you many new words? Yes, thousands, since you can import any texts you want when you get done with their provided material (I have no idea how much their beginner material covers though in terms of words... I would hope 1000-3000 words but that can be researched). Is your goal reading? It's suited to reading, so you will practice and review often with it. Cost? I think it was $12 a month when I last had it, and the price may have increased. Is it worth it? Depends on a learner's needs. I found it was wasting my money, so I chose to use free tools like Pleco and Readibu apps - since those apps are suited for Chinese learners and have better translations, Pleco has better paid graded reader material if I was going to spend money, and both Pleco and Readibu let me import texts so I can learn thousands of new words just like LingQ but free. Now that I'm not a beginner, I often use Microsoft Edge to read chinese... since I can still click-translate words easily (all my web browsers have that tool free), and Edge's TTS voice is helpful for pronunciation and sounds quite good. I read webnovels online so Edge works well. But it's translations aren't as good as Pleco or Readibu, so if I still needed translations more I would use them. So... is LingQ a good study method? Its certainly a study method marketed to buy. Well... the method is suited to improving reading skill, at least. It costs money, which is a negative, but it does offer a lot. However: everything it does regarding reading can be done free with other apps or sites or web browsers on their own. So if paying money motivates you to read... sure. LingQ does have a few word tracking features a learner may find worth the money, keeping in mind the actual read-to-learn method can be done free without lingq. (Also... while LingQ is a valid option for improving reading, if the learners goal is speaking then it would be important to think of what study activities the learner will do OUTSIDE of LingQ to improve speaking... because I've seen how LingQ is marketed as "how to learn a language" but it's only focused on some skills. It has vocabulary and grammar in some sense, since you'll read a lot and encounter new words and structures. But it doesnt have speaking or writing practice at least last time I was on it. Those activities would need to be worked on, on your own).
You can do that kind of cost/benefit contemplating with any study method material you see being sold. Amother example: there's a beginner Mandarin course called Mandarin Blueprint. It teaches like 800 words. Thats all. It may be worthwhile for a beginner... who still needs to learn 800 common words. But if you already know a few hundred words, the benefit of the course is less, you'll need to find a new material to teach you more new stuff soon. And the price was like a few hundred for the course... which for me personally was too much to spend, when I had already learned 800 hanzi from a book that cost me 12 dollars and 2000 words from a free user made memrise deck. The course claimed to get a person speaking, competent, but anyone not a beginner would say speaking basically with 800 words is nowhere near the level of working in Chinese or just doing a lot of daily life stuff, or reading/listening to media. (Although for the motivated beginner if you're learning 800 words on your own like I was, its definitely close to the point of jumping to learn more words and start reading kids and teenager books, and watching easier shows if you're willing to look new words up). So to me... Mandarin Blueprint felt like overselling some basic beginner materials. (Again when I know several other things that teach beginner stuff either more in depth so HSK test prep classes, and college courses, or that teach beginner stuff to the same depth as Mandarin Blueprint but free).
Some study materials aren't going to act like they teach everything. I've seen chinese courses just for learning to speak tones better and general pronunciation - probably worthwhile if your goal is to improve speaking and a teacher could help improve the issues your having. But a learner needs to be aware for that course that they'll need to study vocabulary on their own, its JUST a pronunciation improvement course.
#rant#i saw a lot of comments on forums yesterday thinking automatic language growth alg was like snake oil#aka a scam. but it can be done for free (free lessons online) and for people who#learn well from visual context and guessing (i learn well that way) the lesson style DOES result in learning new words and grammar#so provided you can find ALG type free lessons that teach 1000+ words (ideally 3000+ words) then you will learn#enough grammar and words to then move onto native speaker content to continue studying. so all free#i have not seen yet how ALG helps students with speaking or writing yet though. so i can only say it for sure improves passive skills#specifically listening with new words and grammar. and listening translates to reading if you practice that on your own#even just with subtitles or podcast transcripts.#the issue for me is can i find alg courses that teach a thousand words in a timely manner (and free if thats my personal requirement)#i think Dreaming Spanish and Comprehensible Thai do have enough free courses to teach 1000+ words#so those ones would get you to possibly intermediate b1 level in passive listening skill#and then its up to you on if 1 that meets your goal 2 you learn well with that lesson type 3 you are motivated to do the lessons#like... duolingo itself is not completely useless... it teaches 3000 words on most courses (and maybe 1500 common words). the big issue for#me with duolingo is it takes me AGES to complete a lesson and complete a course (years). cause i cant focus on it#whereas with duolingos content... its beginner content. at best it will get Reading skill to A2 or low B1#and maybe other skills if you practice OUTSIDE duolingo with the words and grammar u learned.#so getting to A2 vocab shouldnt take me more than a year to learn (based on how i study). i can learn it in 6 months if i#just study a wordlist on paper and a grammar guide online. so since duolingo takes me 4 times LONGER to study than the other methods i use?#duolingo is a waste of my time. not worth it (and it markets itself as if it will get a learner to B2 when it wont. and it markets#as if 1 lesson a day is all you need. to make progress in 6 months in duolingo like my wordlist study...#you'd need to be doing duolingo 1-3 hours a day... which duolingo does not tell u to do. and most learners dont
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puhpandas · 3 months ago
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thinking abt the ggy easter eggs rn
#im so ready for whateber theyre cooking#this is like the only era rn where the sw games arent interesting me rn im so ready to want to engage again#plz focus on ggy vanny gregory vanessa cassie and not cassie dad mapbot dying absent father doing nothintnfor the story#and a game based totally off of books instead of the other way around#i really hope SW games dont become super tftp oriented#as in they make games based off of books instead of the other way around#that would suck majorly#a ggy game would be new content based off of game lore that does exist for ggy and not the book#like patient 46 and his canonical mysterious past#plus everything the tapes said he did#it could be so good#i really want to just see like. any progression of the story#outside of very basic ideas like 'vanny cassie' that are probably going to happen but are so bare bones#theres not much you can think about#insyead of useless plots like cassies dad. sorry but its true if hes the hw2 story he does nothing#nothing that cassie couldnt have also done if shes the protag#i know that sotm has to happen before they can progress so im being patient#but man#i hope we get more stuff like ruin that has good linear on screen storytelling and is more character oriented#everybody liked ruin but not everyone likes sotm#when hw2 came out i saw soo many opinions not just by me and the moots or something but just#fans on twitter diehard or casual#that hated how hw2s story was handled#people actually want storytelling now at sb and ruins scale instead of old school barely comprehensible frustrating lore#thats what sotm feels like its leaning into and im not excited#i hope its a one time thing since its a good chance to do that#a game that already takes place in the og fnaf days#before it even#of course its a good idea to put old school easter eggs and characters and story and stuff of the og days#i just miss my guys :(
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director-yomi-hellsmile · 19 days ago
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Not sure where exactly this counts on the empathy/sympathy/compassion categorizations but my experience with seeing others be visibly feeling bad and in distress is that like, I do notice what they're feeling and understand it but I don't care and it's just. Awkward to me. Like, I don't want them to be sad but I don't want to anything about it either, it's just so annoying to me, I want them to get over it as fast as possible and stop acting Like That because it stresses me out too.
And when I say it stresses me out I don't mean it's because I just feel for them that hard, I just want it to be over because I'm scared of what they'll do. Like I don't want to be in the same room as them anymore but I can't leave, because that'd be rude and they will be mad at me. I don't want to comfort them and I don't know how, but they will expect me to, and become angry with me and think I'm a terrible person and who knows how they'll treat me then from that point. And I'm terrified of angry people, usually if my family members are looking angry and screaming I just panic and do anything to not have to speak to them and avoid them until it stops, and that also goes for anyone else. (me still after typing all that out: still no trauma lol must have been the wind that just made me born this weird)
And like. Sometimes I do want to do something about it, because I like the person and I want them to stop feeling bad but I have like. No idea what to even do then partially because one. I don't actually want to but also I want to but also not really. And two. I don't do this because I care about their problems to that degree, I just want them to behave like I'm used to them behaving again and to not be so occupied by what's happening to them so they'll have more time to pay attention to me instead again. All my thoughts just left my head as I was typing everything and now I forgot everything I was about to say. Aw shucks.
Anyway I just. People having negative emotions just either annoy me or set off my fear responses and I don't want to talk to them then until they stop, I also don't want to look like I'm a bad person or make them think that means I don't care about them. I usually just wait it out or awkwardly approach them with some low energy "ummm get well soon irl blorbo". I wanna be nice to people because then they're gonna like me (which will make me care about their feelings somewhat) but oh god the cost. the cost....................
Anyway uhhhhh neurodivergent tumblr. Any tips for feigning concern and comforting other people that sounds authentic and will make them (correctly) think I care about their feelings. That'd be awesome.
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