#this one is less controversial than the first one but I feel like an angry mob's gonna form anyway

[lilacsandlillies]

I was going through the anti Jason Todd tag because I hate myself and want to understand where people who dislike him are coming from and one thing I kept seeing was annoyance at Jason fans who claim that Jason is female coded and realized that the term “female coded” might not be the best term to describe what we mean.

A female coded character in literature and media typically means a character that has no specified gender or otherwise does not have a gender but is obviously meant to be a stand in for a woman or female. Kind of like how Starfire has no specified race (due to being an alien) but is still obviously black coded based on the way she’s drawn and treated by the narrative.

This is slightly different than what we mean when saying that Jason is female coded. It’s not that Jason is literally supposed to be a stand in for a female character, it’s that the way a lot of characters treat him and a lot of the tropes used on him are things that usually saved for female characters, not big buff men like Jason.

To start with, being Robin is narratively (or at least was) very similar to being a woman in a story. Robin is a role made to complement Batman (who we all know is basically the ultimate male power fantasy). Robin’s role is to be an accessory to Batman. Robin can be smart, but not smarter than Batman. Robin can be strong, but not stronger than Batman. Hell, Robin is often kidnapped and used as a literal damsel in distress, a role often regulated for women as a whole.

What sets Jason apart from the other robins (except for Steph) in this regard is that they were allowed to be characters outside of Batman. Dick might not have been the “man” of the story when he’s with Bruce, but when he’s with the teen titans suddenly he’s the smart one who has all the answers. Jason’s Robin was never really allowed this.

Then we get to the most, controversial, part of Jason’s female coding. The fact the he was effectively fridged. Fridging is usually only referred to as frigding if it’s a female character, but Jason’s death checks pretty much all the other boxes needed. An incredibly brutal death that was more about Bruce’s feelings on it than Jason himself.

This is especially apparent when compared to the other Bat characters. For all the female coding, the only other Robin to actually be fridged was Steph (and we all know about the misogyny surrounding her death). Barbara was also kind of fridged during the killing Joke. The only female character to escape this is Cass (to my knowledge). When you look at it through this lens, the fact that the only other characters to be permanently damaged like this for Bruce’s story are female, it’s not hard to see where the idea that Jason is female coded comes from.

You can even find this in Jason’s origin story. Poor little orphan is saved by benevolent billionaire is a role usually saved for little girls, like in Annie.

Despite what you might think, this even continues after Jason’s revival. Jason is still used less as a character and more as a motivation for Bruce. He’s regularly called emotional and hysterical (terms usually used to refer to women).

Jason is first and foremost a victim. A role performed by women in most media. Men are expected to be stoic and “rise above” the things done to them as to not be victims, as continuously shown by the way characters like Nightwing are not allowed to be effected by the horrific things they go through. The fact that Jason is shown the be angry, and sad, and emotional, constantly, and the fact that he’s punished and vilified for it puts him in a place much more similar to a female character.

There’s a reason that so many Jason fans (that like him for a reason past “antihero with guns”) are female. For most characters, when you swap their genders there would be a pretty clear and big difference in the way their story takes place. If you swap Jason’s gender, the story takes place identically.

A lot of this is best shown in men’s reactions to Arkham Knight’s version of Jason. In that game, Jason is similarly angry and emotional, albeit for slightly different reasons. He is also still unmistakably a victim. You’d think the men playing would like him. After all he’s a big cool angsty guy with a lot of guns and muscles. Instead, a lot of men’s thought that he was whiny. That his feelings were annoying.

There’s also something to be said about how his autonomy is regularly undermined by Bruce (specifically in Gotham war) and how his decisions and feeling are constantly treated as if they’re worth less than Bruce’s, but that’s a discussion for another day.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Who do you think is the most popular dorm leader amongst their students. Like Leona's obviously kind of a dick but people love him and respect him, while Riddle is more controversial amongst the students. Like rank them based on popularity if you'd be so kind!

I think it really depends??? Like, it's obviously very different within a dorm versus outside of it. Then there's also the question of passion and how far the students that admire said dorm leader will go for them. For example, Diasomnia students are incredibly passionate and form literal angry mobs to defend Malleus's honor; this cannot be said for most of the other dorms. However, the love and admiration for Malleus stretches thin outside of his own dormitory.

Instead of ranking them overall, I think I would instead categorize them like this (note: Yuu is excluded because Ramshackle has fallen from its status as a dorm):

Popular, few to no strings attached:

Kalim is popular both in his dorm and outside of it. He is one of the few cheerful and friendly students on campus and is shown to be well-liked in Scarabia for his empathy and willingness to accept others as they are. Kalim is also generous, throwing parties that include guests from other dorms and often trying to buy expensive gifts like diamonds for his dorm members (until he is stopped by others). His naivety also means he’s easily fooled and taken advantage of, which… sounds like a bad thing, but would be seen as a positive by some of the less savory characters at NRC.

Vil is generally liked and respected. Pre-book 5 Epel is an exception to this. However, students from other dorms, particularly Savanaclaw, sometimes mock Vil and underestimate him until he proves himself to them (for example, in Beans Fest). In both cases, his doubters change their minds and come around to him one way or another. I'd also imagine that Vil being a celebrity and all gives him a HUGE boost in appeal among the general student body.

Popular-ish, terms and conditions apply:

Leona is decently popular, especially among first years, his club, and within his own dormitory. He tends to attract younger students seeking a cool and dependable older brother or mentor figure. Most others—especially in his own grade level—have beef with Leona and/or take issue with his attitude, which is fair and valid.

Known but… infamous:

Riddle seems to be seen in a relatively neutral light by most students. Some admire him for his diligence but more often than not, he’s deemed annoying or unreasonable for enforcing the rules, especially Heartslabyul’s ridiculous ones. His penchant for blowing up at people and being anal about adhering to rules in a very literal and absolutist way probably does not earn him brownie points.

Azul is technically well-known but not necessarily adored. The twins go around advertising his services and luring in potential clients. If you need something, you know he can help you out… for the right price. Azul also has notoriety thanks to running the Mostro Lounge. I don't think people like him very much though, considering that mob students complain about how he’s a scumbag, fellow dorm leaders like Vil express an inherent distrust of him, and Azul himself has zero qualms about using dirty tactics like blackmail to get his own dorm members under his thumb. It feels like people are polite to him out of obligation and fear or what would happen if they aren’t. So in a weird way, Azul is liked for what he can provide people, but isn’t genuinely liked as an individual.

Malleus is playing a game of emotional extremes. While he has fervent, die-hard Draconians like Sebek backing him, the majority of the NRC population holds the opposite opinion and is deathly afraid of him. If he so much as smiles at a mob student or attempts to approach them, most would scream and/or run away. There are certainly exceptions (Kalim, Rook, Yuu, etc.), but they’re in the minority. He’s overing near the bottom, if only because of the overwhelming terror his name evokes, even if the Draconians attempt to balance it out. Their pushes to make others recognize the glory of their dorm leader only serves to further exacerbate existing tensions.

Not known and/or not popular:

Idia, well… Does bro touch grass and see the light of day enough to even be known by most of the students??? The students we do see Idia interact with tend to either ignore him (partly because he lurks in corners, away from people) or think of him as unpleasant to deal with. It’s hard for him to socialize, and when he does sometimes his Gamer ego gets the better of him and he mouths off an insult that catches him heat. Idia may get some street cred in his own dorm for his skills, but this largely doesn’t extend beyond Ignihyde. I wouldn’t even know if it would be right to say that the other Ignihyde students like Idia; everyone just stays in their own rooms way too much for me to properly gauge their relationship and so I’m left to take the opinions of the larger student body into account.

[azulaaaaaaah]

rating every zuko ship (cause that mf is shipped with everyone)

CLICKBAIT!!! this isn’t every zuko ship just the main ones i immediately lied lol. idk if any of these are hot takes or not but please don’t crucify me (might do a part 2 where it’s azula ships)

Jinko - Zuko/Jin

6/10

awwww it’s cute (for what it is)

and what it is was one singular date that was never really mentioned again

i really appreciate how jin is so unperturbed by zuko’s awkward angst and just genuinely likes him

howevvver she’s kinda one dimensional (as she’s only in like an episode) and i just don’t see this going anywhere longterm

less a ship, more a vehicle for zuko’s character development lol

Jetko- Zuko/Jet

3/10

jet being zuko’s first gay encounter is canon in my eyes

don’t ship them however cause i hate jet with the fire of a thousands suns

similar issues to jin as well where their interactions are extremely limited so personally have no clue how this could be a long term thing

Maiko- Zuko/Mai

5/10

i am so impartial on this ship it’s not even funny.

i get that it’s canon. i get that izumi looks suspiciously like mai so it’s endgame. i just don’t see HOW?? it feels as if the writers realised zutara was becoming popular and were like ‘OH SHIT WE GOTTA DEFUSE THIS SITUATION SOMEHOW’

their relationship is basically just mai being a cold asshole and zuko being an angry asshole and there’s no change or development between EITHER OF THEM

however when they’re cute they’re cute !!!!

‘i love zuko more than i fear you’ COLDEST LINE EVER

however again it’s like - you had a crush on him as a kid. he was BANISHED. you dated for like a month as teens. you argued the whole time. he left again- and shortly after you saved him from prison, but then you were imprisoned partly due to his actions. you get back together again, he becomes the ruler of a country, and then you’re surprised it’s isolating him/making him even more of an asshole???

on the other hand we as a society need to admit that zuko is weirdly possessive of her (ig that’s a positive if ur a booktok romance girlie but im not). like if i was mai i wouldn’t put up with that toxic shit either

at the end of the day, i honestly don’t care that they’re canon lol- but i think they’d probably best as a bitchy best friend duo

Zukaang - Zuko/Aang

1/10

not round here partner. not round here

my first issue is the age gap is objectively extremely weird if examined in canon. leaving it at that

i get that this is grumpy x sunshine in a way the other ships aren’t to me- but we’ve only ever seen these two characters interact with each other when there’s (again) A WEIRD AGE GAP

they are bros in the least homosexual way possible

the cherry on top of this situation is: isn’t aang the reincarnation of his great grandpa? isn’t that giving slight, uh, inc*st vibes??? imagine if people shipped korra and jinora isn’t that just WEIRD???

Zuki - Zuko/Suki

8/10

is this my most controversial take ???

i am a sucker for bodyguard x royal family dynamics guys

and the fact that this is girlboss x malewife is even BETTER

suki seems the most competent at handling his pissy ass in a way the other people on this list aren’t

like she’s real. she’s not sugarcoating his situation, BUT SHES COMPASSIONATE !!

i don’t like throuples typically but suzukki is even eliter than this, which removes the whole ‘going against the bro code’ element that arises from them being together

also i feel like if you haven’t read the comics this doesnt make sense At All so please do

-2 points for the lack of tangible reason to ship them lol

Zutara - Zuko/Katara

7.5/10

okay this one makes the most logistical sense to me within canon (solely examined as a zuko ship not overall)

it really seems as if they were gonna make this canon and swerved circa book 2

LIKE CMONNNN OG ENEMIES TO LOVERS WHERE THE GUY ACTUALLY HAS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND ISN’T JUST EVIL? FIRE X WATER? ITS INTRIGUING

something about this makes me uncomfortable though. (despite the age gap which again a little weird)

something about katara potentially becoming the fire lady is so… icky. she’s a waterbender. the fire nation tried to systematically erase her kind. her mother is killed by the fire nation because they think she’s a waterbender. and katara…. what, becomes part of the royal family? it just seems wrong, and like something she wouldn’t be into

also i feel like their arguments would be a little too NUCLEAR. there’s like, a 50% chance of divorce

she deserves a better ending than that is all i’m saying

to paraphrase the hunger games: katara has plenty of fire herself. SHE NEEDS THAT DANDELION IN THE SPRING MAN

(i’m a kataang truther)

Zukka - Zuko/Sokka

9/10

my zuko related otp!!!

bros to lovers guys, where zuko falls first but sokka falls HARDER !!!

ik this will never be canon and im happy with that. i know there’s not even a whisper of romance between them in the show, but i just think it’s c u t e .

sokka (like suki) is very likely to call zuko out on his shit, but less likely to lose his own shit (like katara)

this in my heart of hearts is 10/10 however is still problematic in a similar way to zutara

his mother is killed by the fire nation and he (presumably) becomes consort ?

however though, i would still say it’s not as ruhroh as zutara bc firstly, sokka isn’t a waterbender, and secondly, ‘consort’ is a lot more open to interpretation than i think fire lady is. in my opinion a consort ≠ a fire lady, just like irl a consort ≠ a queen. it kinda means he can still be ambassador to the southern water tribe/a leader of his own people, while just so happening to be married to the fire lord.

overall i can’t help but stan a friends to lover ship cmOn now

[katiemccabeswife]

Illicit Affairs

Alexia Putellas x Reader|| Alexia is pulling away from you and thinking back on all the memories, good and bad, you finally snap.

T Swizzle because I saw her live yesterday 🤗 I feel bad doing Ale like this and it’s my first time doing something like this so please nice 🤍

You sighed as Alexia pulled away, instantly reaching for a shirt to cover herself with. You turned away from her, not wanting her to see your crestfallen face after realising that this time was not unlike any others. Recently.

You hadn't noticed when it started happening, when Alexia seemed to detach and the possibility of the 2 of you going public seemed to vanish into thin air. You would come over and maybe watch a movie before the two of you would have sex and then she would dress herself and turn to face opposite you.

Make sure nobody sees you leave, hood over your head, keep your eyes down,

Sometimes she would remind you to make sure that no one saw you leave her apartment and to keep your hood over your head in case paparazzi or fans saw someone leaving her house and decided to take photos.

Tell your friends you're out for a run, you'll be flushed when you return,

If she didn't immediately turn away from you she would occasionally make a joke, asking you how your 'run' was. The joke stemmed from the time Mapi caught you leaving the bathrooms flushed and you had to come up with an excuse, claiming you had just finished running.

Take the road less travelled by,

Ona lived on the way to Ale's house and had noticed you driving past one too many times and questioned you about it, non-threateningly and unsuspecting of anything of course but Ale got angry at you claiming that you did it on purpose so you started travelling the back streets to and from her house to keep suspicions low.

Tell yourself you can always stop, what started in beautiful rooms,

You knew you weren't being treated the way you should be but you could stop if you wanted to, end the relationship and move on from Alexia and be happy. The only thing stopping you was hope, you used to catch her staring at you, dazed, from across the room and she used to make beautiful candle-lit dinners for every important date or milestone now, you were lucky if she offered left over takeout.

Ends with meetings in parking lots,

You wanted that Alexia back, you didn't want the one who drove you into a random car park to fuck you before driving you home.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs

If people knew Alexia was dating you people would definitely have some not-so-nice things to say. You were, what some would call, her controversially young girlfriend being 9 years younger than her which was the ‘whole’ reason your relationship was kept secret.

And clandestine meetings and longing stares, it's born from just one single glance,

Looking back on your relationship and how the two of you used to act was like looking at an entirely different couple. You used to enjoy sneaking around with Alexia, the adrenaline it used to bring you. It reminded you of when you first met her, it was your first day at Barca and Alexia took the time and effort to greet you out the front and guide you around the training centre. You knew once you saw her standing out in the cold with that stupid, awkward smile on her face that you liked her and you couldn't help it if you wanted to.

But it dies, and it dies, and it dies, a million little times,

The age gap became evident when Alexia would call you 'kid' in front of the team and your cheeks would burn red from embarrassment, knowing it was you girlfriend, who had sex with you, that was calling you ‘kid’. Every time the nickname slipped from her lips you could feel part of your relationship dying, and your heart breaking further, into a million little pieces.

Leave the perfume on the shelf, that you picked out just for him, so you leave no trace behind like you don't even exist,

You used to enjoy doing small things for Alexia, like buying a perfume you knew she would like when she burrowed her head into the crook of your neck but something that small would be insignificant and go unnoticed now. That perfume sat on your shelf staring at you teasingly, unopened, you didn't want to wear it anymore.

Take the words for what they are a dwindling, mercurial high a drug that only worked the first few hundred times

Alexia used to do the same sort of little things, buying you flowers randomly or bringing home a little treat for you every once in a while. She continued the tradition for a year before the unpredictability of the gifts that once filled you with the warmth of love started to slowly fade away every time she told you she couldn't go on a date with you or didn't want to spend time with you.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs and clandestine meetings and stolen stares, they show their truth one single time but they lie, and they lie, and they lie, a million little times

Alexia used to be the one to plan the secret meet-ups and dates, you used to be the one catching her staring at you and now she was the one standing you up and calling you out for 'acting like a child', while she would continue to fuck you like she loved you and lie to you like they were truths.

And you wanna scream 'Don't call me "kid"'

"And I fucking hate it when you call me 'kid', Alexia! I'm supposed to be your girlfriend!" You screamed at her as tears fell down your face.

"Baby-" She tried to reach out to you.

'Don't call me "baby"', look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

You took a step back and raised her pointer finger at her, "Don't fucking call me baby either," You wiped at your tears aggressively before giving up as they kept falling, "God Ale! Look at me," You sobbed, "Look at what you made me, I'm a fucking mess!" It was clear to anyone that you hadn't been sleeping or eating if someone were to walk in the room they would assume you had been punched in the eyes due to the smudged mascara surrounding your eyes.

You showed me colours you know I can't see with anyone else,

"I don't even know who you are anymore!" You could see Alexia trying to get a word in but you were filled with such sorrow it just kept flowing out of you, "You don't treat anyone in the team half as bad as you treat me and I'm your fucking girlfriend!"

"Baby-hey, we agreed that we would keep it private," She tried to reason.

'Don't call me "kid", don't call me "baby"', look at this idiotic fool that you made me, you taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else,

"I told you don't call me baby!" When you agreed to keep things private you thought that meant steering clear of PDA not keeping your entire existence a secret, "God, I am such a fucking idiot," You had learnt to dissect Ale's words after she started coding them, you could find the deeper meaning in 'compliments' and find the insult when no one else could, you could find hidden meanings behind sugar-coated words and it pained you that you were the only one who seemed to do so.

And you know damn well for you, I would ruin myself a million little times,

"I haven't slept, Ale," You looked back at her, "I haven't eaten, I've worked out more times than I can count, I have been ruining myself trying to be perfect for you. I'm trying to change myself just so you would like me again! And the saddest part is, is that I would do it a million times over because I love you!"

You had to pluck up the courage to leave as soon as the words slipped out of your mouth because you knew for the first time in almost a year, she had heard you when you told her you loved her, really heard you and you didn’t give her a chance to say it back.

[anpanman95]

God DO I have things to say about this one here…

CONTROVERSIAL REVIEW AHEAD

Last Twilight: why Day’s character is a major RED FLAG 🚩🚩🚩

DISCLAIMER: I do not have anything against him as an actor. He’s a beautiful sweet talented cutie pie that is doing such an amazing job it causes me to hate the motherfluffing guts of this character.

To make this easier I’ve broken down this to five points.

Day’s personality sucks: first of all, he is a rich, spoiled child (I hope all of us agree on this one) who’s clearly full of himself, and only cares about himself. This is demonstrated in several ways, but the most blatant one is in how he believes that his tragedy is the worst possible scenario anyone could be in, and fails to have a single ounce of empathy for anyone around him unless, of course, it has to do something with him. Yes. What happened to him was horrific, and traumatizing, but he is not the only human being in the world who has problems. Which brings me to my next point.

Having a disability does not give you the right to be an asshole. “Oh but every person deals with their own stuff differently” Honey, no. The whole point is that having a disability does not make you any less than any other human being. Question: Doesn’t Day want for people to stop feeling pity for him? to not treat him differently?. Well guess what darling: that implies you also still have to be and function like a decent person. Yes, again, I’m very sorry about what he has to go through, which is a horrible and unexpected experience, and I could never imagine what that’s like, but literally no one in his life wished this upon him. He acts as if everyone around him is to be blamed for what happened.

Spoiled part 2: He has a roof over his head. A fancy one might I add. He lives comfortably. He has healthy, unlimited food, done by a professional chef, might I add AGAIN, and he does not appreciate his family and what they do for him, not even once. Does he not understand that his life could be much, much worse? I’m not saying he can’t be angry or depressed or deal with his trauma however he needs to be able to heal, but there’s a difference that he doesn’t seem to understand: being angry at a situation that is out of anyone’s control, and being angry or directing that anger to people who just want to help. Which brings me to my last two points:

Day’s crappy behavior towards his family: Lets start with the mother. She is, of course somewhat at fault for what Day has to go through. But only because she is being unreasonably overprotective, something that could have been solved anyway without Day being an absolute prick about it. (Also pick one of your children to give all your love and attention to and abandon the other? what is wrong with you). Now to his brother Night. Oh God. I don’t think you understand how angry I was when Day said “I forgive you for everything”. Bitch what the f? Forgive Night? for treating him like absolute garbage, as if he had never been your own brother? Like he planned the whole fiasco? He gets mad after the accident because his brother TRIES TO CHANGE for the BETTER. And accuses him from TRYING TO STEAL THE GOOD SON TITLE FROM HIM??! Be for real bitch. This circles back to point one: He only cares about himself. Night has been traumatized almost as much as Day because of the accident. It is obvious he blames himself and probably will never forgive himself fully for what happened. On top of that he gets an awful mother and brother? Nah. Count me out. I would have resigned from that family and go live with beautiful sweet Porjai to a small village and never be contacted by those people again.

Mhok: Oh dear. Oh dear. He is literally the greenest of green flags out there. Sure. He’s a little volatile. Sure, he has done violent things. But he would have NEVER hurt Day or any of their friends/family. My boy was just trying to do his job, cause, mind you, HE HAS NO MONEY OR FAMILY TO SUPPORT HIM LIKE YOU DO, DAY. The money and family you disrespect every single day. And what the f with telling him what to do with his life? Who the f do you think you are? Mr. Righteous? Mr. Perfect? More like Mr. Red Flag 101. Day basically broke Mhok’s heart because Mhok didn’t want to be away from him. So, first of all, I don’t believe for a second Mhok’s intentions were out of pity. Maybe they came from a place of WORRY and a little bit out of infatuation because he liked him so much and didn’t want to be away from him. But never pity. EVEN SO. IF Mhok felt “pity” for Day, the correct thing to do, as two fluffing functioning adults, is to TALK. Why did you have to go and tell him all this horrible things just so he’d leave? Why not tell him you’re proud of him, and ENCOURAGE HIM to take the job, ENSURE that it’ll work out between you? But nooooo, Mr. Red Flag had to go and break his heart cause he lacks basic decency and human empathy, only for Mhok, bless his heart, to come back after three years AND FOR SOME REASON, still manage to be in love with this awful person. And he tells him no? Break his heart all over again only for Mhok to have enough emotional intelligence for the both of them to actually come back after YOU GAVE UP ON SEARCHING FOR HIM AT THE AIRPORT LIKE A WEAK MEDIOCRE BI— ugh. If I were Mhok I’d gone and kicked his sorry ass and married a handsome Hawaiian.

Okay.

Also Day only coming to his senses after his mother tells him THE MOST OBVIOUS THING THERE IS.

“Oh Mother what was that? Loving means taking risks? It’s all about trust? and communication? Oh my, that would have never crossed my mind because I am such an idiot. Thank you mom I’ll go look for the love of my life now because you told me so”

like seriously what is up with these boys and their mommy issues? I swear the exact same thing happened in Hidden Agenda. Bro.

I love P’Aof, and his work. Loved Bad Buddy, loved Moonlight Chicken. I had super high expectations of this and, overall, the show is good. But I simply did not enjoy it as much as I thought I would, and it’s all because I couldn’t sympathize with one of the main characters.

In conclusion:

Fluff you Day, you do not deserve Mhok. sorry p’Aof I love you and will continue to support you until the very end.

oof. I needed to rant this out. don’t yell at me please I cry easily.

peace out!

[batsplat]

Do you have any thought on the podcast that vale just did with Mig. I had never come across someone that had the Marc fell on purpose in Sepang narrative but I’m just wondering how much of what he’s saying now aligns with what he’s said over the years and is anything new information that’s he’s never bought up before? I also saw that he mentioned Casey and Dani apparently but I haven’t seen that bit yet.

I'd say it more or less aligns with the stuff he's said previously, but he's expanded on some points. him kinda implying there was something fishy about marc's fall itself was a pretty popular theory at the time, enough to be referred to by journalists, though as far as I can recall valentino has stayed clear of it (always getting handlebars caught up in inconvenient places in controversial racing incidents, eh). as for the other stuff:

argentina: valentino hasn't spoken much about pre-sepang incidents in general, at most referring to them with half a line (including races that usually aren't integrated into the timeline of the 2015 collapse, like silverstone and misano). I've talked about it here, but valentino's line about marc's riding there should be read in context of another past comment - that valentino was told marc believed vale had cost him the title, which you would assume to be a reference to argentina (more on that in a moment). while it was obviously deemed a racing incident, it should come as no surprise that narratives accusing one or the other of ill intent were discourse points at the time (see here). both valentino and jorge seem to think that marc felt valentino deliberately crashed him out (here). if they are to be believed, it leaves you with a version of argentina where both parties thought the other was deliberately attempting to make them crash. this version positions argentina 2015 less as a precursor of things to come and more as a breaking point neither party ever moved on from

assen: valentino has spoken about this as a turning point before, saying back in 2016: "at assen I realised he was only my friend when he beats me"; plus in october 2015 saying more broadly that marc was "angry about assen". he hasn't spoken about a direct conversation between the two of them before, though the words he attributes to marc do broadly align with what we have footage of marc saying in the actual press conference (for instance, marc feeling he had won the race, see here). so yes, the stances they both take according to valentino basically match up with the stances we know they publicly took at the time, but again: this is the first time he's talked about this conversation, and we have no evidence for it occurring (certainly not in parc fermé - my best guess is that this would have happened when they were at race direction). all of this is in line with reading assen as essentially the point of no return as far as that relationship was concerned - from then on, the collapse is locked in

alzamora: his involvement is something I've been wondering about for ages now (here, here and here). as is discussed in those posts, valentino said way back in october 2015 that alzamora had told him after sepang that marc "behaved as he did because I caused him to lose the world title". this had always felt bizarre to me, because the description made it difficult to judge the tone of the encounter - surely, you would have to have good reason to harm your charge by running your mouth like that. valentino's version presented in the podcast, which now explicitly attributes active malice to alzamora, does make more sense than alzamora just... randomly approaching valentino to worsen the conflict. the notion that alzamora spoke openly in the paddock about damning valentino's championship bid, as well as this getting back to valentino via spanish friends, is also new. alzamora did have a troubled reputation of his own, as a lot of these managers tend to, not least as a result of the honda in-fighting he was involved in (see here). he has at times been seen as... overeager in getting mixed up in his charges' business - see also how he dealt with reporters and photographers. reporting of valentino's alzamora claim in the immediate aftermath of sepang 2015 mention "yet another disagreement between crew chief santi hernandez and alzamora", the "questionable" role played by alzamora, and alzamora's "very different priorities than honda" (see here and here). alzamora's alleged insistence on being at the meeting, even when valentino thought it was not his place to interfere, does seem to gel with his general conduct. to my eye, there are no obvious inconsistencies between how alzamora's influence was discussed at the time and what valentino is saying now, though the detail of this confrontation including a verbal fight at race direction is also new

at race direction: the details of the look exchanged between marc and alzamora are new too. valentino has spoken about a conversation between himself and marc where marc stared blankly at him, and just based on my own conjecture I did think race direction was the logical place for this conversation to take place. this is in large part on the basis of two media scrum answers marc gave in late 2015 that make explicit reference to this conversation, which I should probably get around to uploading (and valentino likewise spoke about it at the time) (so we can be reasonably confident that it happened and that marc was not best pleased by what valentino said). but the smile is new, yes

that was all I saw in terms of additions! other stuff like uccio's involvement and how valentino describes marc as a rider are basically what he's been saying for years. the most interesting bits to me personally were the alzamora comments because, again, that element of the story was odd enough that I was kinda hoping someone would eventually expand on it. much obliged

[slaaverin]

(I decided I would talk about BTS/jikook news everytime I would have some thoughts, even if they might be a bit controversial. The purpose of this blog is pure expression and I decided I would have no filters and not hold anything back because I hate the silencing culture of twitter and this fandom in general. If you don't follow the flock you are canceled or worse and I decided that I really don't care, at least not on this blog. I would say the things exactly how I feel them even if it goes against the grain. Disclaimer, if you don't like my posts, simply don't read my blog, no need to send me angry asks lol my opinions are my own and are not *truths* and only subjective based on my personal feelings.)

This video of presentation of 2025 really reassured me on many things and having a little more insights on hobi's thoughts felt like a breath of fresh air.

To tell you the truth, ever since Jin came out I had a little bit of trouble connecting with him. Not that he did anything wrong but his entertainer and *work work work* mindset didn't sit very well with me, because it is so removed from how I would personally imagine to feel after an experience such as military, that I couldn't feel the connection with him. I've always loved Jin as a person, it's not the issue, but it's like suddenly I felt we were on different wavelength. Simply because we are different persons at the core lol which is fine.

But this fact made me a little bit worry about the other members, what their reaction would be after coming out. How would they feel? Would they go the same road as Jin? (There are no right and wrong here tho)

I know I have no claims to say how they should react or act, but there are certain things I *expected*, that I was surprised about.

So hearing Hobi talk and opening up a little more, somehow I let out a sigh of relief. Hobi seemed very much changed by the experience (as we would think he would) and his very down to earth *not trying*, natural demeanour made me very at ease.

He was himself completely (not saying Jin is not). Clearly not the same person as before, but it shows he doesn't feel perfect and happy and like the disney-like character idols are supposed to be (which feels a bit meh to me from how old they are now). He had a natural way to talk and express himself that felt very human, vulnerable, and real. Which is the thing I like about the members in the first place.

We can see he wants to pick the pieces of his life and move on to do the things he loves, which I connect to strongly, because that would probably be what I would do too (when I said this post was subjective)

The thing that I expected was change. To me, old bangtan cannot be exactly the same as the new one. Because it's very normal and human to perpetually change and evolve and reframe what we want and do. Especially after an experience such as military. That's why Jin unsettled me so much, and that I simply *could not get it* and that's why Hobi made me feel "ok, it's going to be alright, everything is good here*.

I guess it is a very basic way to think but yeah I am basic lol

All of this to say that this little video made me really happy. So many things have changed from the past, they share less of themselves (which they are allowed to after all), so these past few years some of the members felt a bit more removed from us at times (more than before)

But the few phrases from hobi really lighted up my heart once more, and now I am more interested and at ease following their journey. It removed the fears I had, and made me excited for the future.

I wish him all the best for his tour (very sad I can't go) and I'll be happily watching concerts online 💜

I'm also very happy to see the interactions between the two of them, they are so funny and cute together 🥺 it feels like having bangtan back 😭 a little bit of home, that I agree should not ever change 😭

With his easy and charming behaviour, Hobi really brought hope to me back 🥺💜 really grateful he still lives up to his name 🙏

To the brighest of future for all of them 🥂 and may 2025 be the best year! 🫂

[donnerpartyofone]

We are now entering the holiday season, more or less, which starts early for my family due to a birthday, and I wish this didn't fill me with ambivalence. I like my family, they have interesting things to say, they're great hosts, they can create an idyllic sort of environment; but meanwhile, there is the exhausting obligation to somehow promote oneself, to find something to take to market, and I don't have anything like that and it causes problems. I'm the only person in my family who isn't outrageously accomplished. I had all the same opportunities as everyone else, it was just never going to happen, I'm not good enough. Which sounds self-pitying but honestly it only sounds that way because our ears are conditioned to hear it as some kind of criminal admission of an unacceptable circumstance, instead of a casual acknowledgement of a completely normal circumstance. I think I would feel a great, cathartic relief if it were socially acceptable to just concede that you're a loser, that you're not going to amount to anything due to personal limitations. I mean, I feel like this should not be controversial actually, but it seems to make people feel frightened and confused and angry and if you even come close to saying "This is about it for my personal potential, nothing really worked out"; anyone who hears this will immediately go to great pains to try to force you to take it back, even if they believe it themselves.

I think this might be more true than usual in my family. I think they're embarrassed to know me, but admitting such a thing could make anybody feel like a bad person even though they shouldn't, they have a right--but to avoid feeling guilty (about something they shouldn't feel guilty about), there has to be this endless, exhausting game of make-believe where we all pretend to like me and to be interested in what's going on with me. So I have to like "bring something to the table", I can't just say I have nothing going on; I have to describe one of my dumb little hobbies that I kind of just nominally get paid for once in a while, and they don't understand what it is or what is the context or why any normal person would care, is so I have to describe it in a lot of boring detail, and then by the time I finally get through clarifying what the service/product is everyone's eyes are totally glazed over but they still have to find the energy to respond as if they are somehow impressed. And then the next time it comes up, we have to do the whole entire process over again because no one ever remembers what I said because they didn't really get it the first time, and it's really something they wouldn't even have to know about if it weren't for me, and it's at least as exhausting if not more so.

Recently I tried out a strategy of just saying less. I thought that if I just clammed up and didn't draw attention to myself, then that would put everybody at ease. (Asking other people about themselves only gets me so far, they always seem a little annoyed, like when you're trying to explain fashion to your uncool aunt or something) Sometimes it's like I'm not really there anyway; when I got engaged they threw a dinner for me, and there was about twenty minutes of discussing the wedding before the rest of the evening was devoted to someone's restored, vintage BMW and the drama of where to park such a beautiful and valuable object. Then there was the birthday outing where nobody asked me any questions, the whole afternoon was devoted to someone else's brand new Audi, which distraction prevented them from attending a super important professional event I had actually-on my birthday. The deflection to someone's fancy car whenever I require attention has become a private joke between me and my spouse, who frankly I sometimes think they are not nice enough to because he's married to me. He's an interesting person with a serious career that tells him a lot about how the world works, but sometimes I think they kind of see him as another stunted child because marrying me reflects poorly on him.

Which could totally be a projection on my part, but anyway. The point is I tried out my policy of only speaking when spoken to, or at least not saying anything personal, and everything indicated that this should have worked out, but it seemed to just make people even more mad at me. Admittedly there was an extenuating factor, that someone's famous friend came over and immediately challenged me to say that I was a professional writer like everyone else, and when I confessed that I was just unemployed, he kept trying to put words in my mouth about how successful I must be in some other way, and it was mortifying for me but more importantly it was mortifying for him that I couldn't reward this behavior. Meanwhile, another relative asked me exactly one question about myself--a career question--and when I didn't have an answer, that was the end of all conversation until we were all departing and she accused me of refusing to commune with her even though she missed me and was dying to talk to me. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do.

I feel the need to defend these people. I'm certain it's true that they care about me in that deep-down, fundamental, blood ties way. That's a lot more than many people get from their families. And it's mostly true that they have not been openly hostile or insulting; I mean this is absolutely not true historically, some pretty fucked up things have been said to my face and in front of groups, but this hasn't happened in long enough that I think it's right to try to let it go. In some ways it would be easier if everything were just bad enough that we could all give each other the finger and part ways. What I'm grappling with is this feeling that if I don't work really hard, I'm going to become estranged, which I think would be bad both spiritually and strategically, if you have a family who doesn't actively harm you I think you should keep them around for many different reasons. But it's an established thing that if one family member pulls away, there's a loving conspiracy to draw them back, whereas if I seem to become a little distant, I'm going to get accused of something, like even in writing sometimes. So I have to be on my best behavior all the time, and I have to keep playing this game where I pretend that big things are happening for me and I have to do a whole marketing presentation on this total lie even if everyone is bored to death and not a little embarrassed. I don't know, I guess it's nobody's fault. There's no way we would ever know each other if everybody weren't forced to be related to me, I might as well try to make it easier for them. It's just hard because there is nothing about me that would make it ACTUALLY easy for them to be associated with me, so I'm dutybound to kind of just laboriously smile and make shit up for the rest of my life in order to keep clinging to the fringes of our existence.

It just sucks because I love the fall, I love Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's. And it's not NEVER fun to be with my family. But the season I love is just tainted with this anxiety because it's like illegal to admit that you're just sort of a loser, and my family could never admit that they just basically kind of dislike untalented, unsuccessful people, because there's a cultural prejudice that that's a moral failing--which it isn't, it's just a personal preference, but I guess we're all saddled with the same baggage. Everything would be so much more relaxed and intimate if we could openly accept the way things really are, but it's definitely never going to happen. Stress.

[super-hero-confessions]

I've seen some discussion on Homelander's character duality and have been doing a lot of thinking about it lately. I find some of it strange and some intriguing, and I just wanted to share some thoughts on it.

There's some ideas that Homelander is who the character wants to be or is proud of being currently, but I think it goes much deeper than that.

There's an implication in the Diabolical series with Homelander's debut and first mission as well as the episode with 'Mirrorlander', and of course they don't cover everything. But I do think they tell quite the story.

The other thing is the often missed duality in Homelander's character, not to say that people don't notice he has more than one side to him, but more like they don't realize just how divided he is from the inside out.

He used to be a boy named John Gillman. Which Vought then tortured, never allowed to grow up, and convinced to be their chosen god puppet and 'perfect creation'. The Homelander.

But I think what people forget is that becoming Homelander was never really a choice for him. It was the path they set before him and told him he was going to be, while creating an image he not just wasn't prepared for, but couldn't possibly meet the standard of with the upbringing they gave him.

And this might be controversial, but I don't think Homelander is the real him.

I don't think John Gillman is the real him either.

I think they're both vital parts of him we see in the episode where he speaks to himself in the mirror. I think John Gillman is the little boy forced to be in a body far too powerful for even himself, that was able to admit that he wanted to be loved and does, more than anything. And I think Homelander is the part of him created by what Vought forced him to be that was yelling at him from the mirror, and is angry at the world for his circumstances and wants to take that feeling Vought stole, of having power and control back, through fear.

I think the real him is caught somewhere in a limbo between these two parts of him as there were a couple things that really struck me when I took a second look.

Annie January, or Starlight has a conversation with her mother at the end of the first season where she screams out, "No wonder I don't know who the fuck I'm supposed to be!".

The conversation is about Compound V and how her mother controlled every tiny little aspect of her life, down to her daughter never getting a real choice on what she wanted, based on a lie she was told.

Obviously, this isn't to say that Starlight went through anything close to what Homelander did, but the parallels of the situations can be seen, if much less severe, and there is still validity in the grief she has.

And that's the thing. I think Homelander doesn't know who the fuck he's really supposed to be. He wouldn't admit it, but I don't really think it's reasonable to think that with how badly Vought fucked him up, that he would somehow be certain of who and what he wants to be. And that just makes it worse.

When we see him in Diabolical during his debut, he is bewildered and in absolute awe. So far, only seeing the adoration from people. Something he's never had before in any capacity most likely. And those people understand him to be The Homelander, to be a new superhero that is there to save them.

There's even an immediate reaction of jealousy when the attention is switched to Black Noir because up until that point, Homelander has never had those feelings from people. Just fear and disgust.

Already, he's preconditioned to think extremely lowly of himself due to what Vought has done to the boy named John Gillman. And he doesn't realize he is a victim and that John never deserved those things, which works perfectly to manipulate him into being enamoured with this new persona that Vought created for him. Because it's new. It's different. And so far, it's not painful.

Understandably, his first mission goes terribly wrong. Especially when he is called a 'monster' as 'The Homelander'. Suddenly reliving his memories as the feelings against what he never chose to be come boiling up to the surface. He completely loses himself and kills every single person he is supposed to save, despite having initially tried to help. So we know that he wanted to be good, he wanted to be the hero, and he wanted to be loved. Even before being The Homelander, it was John Gillman who wanted all of those things.

But what happens instead? He is manipulated, first by Madelyn Stillwell into fighting Noir when he knows he's messed up and believes Noir will terminate him, and then Noir turns it around and makes him realize he can and will be loved by everyone as long as they never know he's imperfect.

And The Homelander is supposed to be 'perfect'.

So he latches on to that image and 'god' created by Vought while simultaneously using it to protect the and bury the boy he used to be.

And it continues like this. Eventually he begins to embrace the 'monster' that he can keep veiled while he takes power back through fear, and he can be loved so long as people never know about that 'monster'. Solidifying his path and duality of who he is from that very first mission. If he can get away with anything, why wouldn't he? Vought never taught him different.

The internal conflict won't simply disappear, but his comfort is having his cake, and eating it too. Even if he knows it will never be real...

[zombiejette]

BIG THREE TIME!! 🌙🔮✨

Hey there Non/Disney peeps! I know how much we all love to choose beloved characters that represent ourselves, whether its for personal or roleplay reasons, so I think it's time we expand this trend even further. I thought why not shake things up and combine this side of tumblr with my favorite form of self-insert...

Astrology!!

you know y'all want to. So what are your Big Three signs represented by animated characters?? I will start with mine:

☀️ SUN: Aries ♈️ 🐏

I know it's a bit on the nose, but I can't think of anyone more like the Ram than Merida. Stubborn, impulsive, firey, playful, passionate... it's all her baby. Even has the red-ass wildwoman hair. For me, she is most like how I behave on the surface, especially when I'm having a good time. She loves fiercely, plays recklessly, and isn't afraid of a bit of danger in the pursuit of living fully. Everything about her is loud, proud, and in your face- and just like the sun, you can't tone her down even for a second. Especially when she's angry. But that anger is a good thing too- it reminds us to stand up for ourselves, for the injustices we see, and to fight wholeheartedly for what's right. She shows us that our emotions are our greatest allies, and if you befriend them, they will help guide you towards your truest path. All this boldness and authenticity allows her to be a truly fearless leader, and one who isn't afraid of breaking traditions to do so.

🌙 MOON: Virgo ♍️🏺

Helga, for me, is the epitome of my Moon sign. She's no-nonsense, likes things to be efficient and effective, and is constantly scanning for problems to fix. She can also be intimidatingly scary and judgmental when she's pushed into a corner, and then all of those analytical skills can easily turn into weapons of mass destruction. But the more healed way it usually manifests for me is through her tough-love Mommy energy. She has a "right way" in mind, and knows what works and what doesn't. It's not that she's trying to be cruel, or too abrasive, but she sees when someone needs that push and won't hesitate to give them it. She's often the best person for advice if you don't mind being torn to shreds in the process lol.

↗️ RISING: Cancer ♋️ 🦀

Now if you were scared at all by the hard-headedness of my first two signs- fear not! My rising sign is here to make me less of a dick lol. Might be a controversial choice, but Genie is definitely a cancer rising. "You've never had a friend like me" is sort of an inside joke of mine, and it's because I truly seek to be the most authentic and loyal friend you've ever had. I'm not just here for a good time- I'm here to change your life! Emotional intimacy is the hallmark of this goal, and I love to really "see" someone, to bear witness to all their ugly and do away with the surface barriers society imposes upon us. I know how crushingly lonely it can be to feel like no one really understands you, or even tries to, and so my bleeding heart takes up arms against this strongly. The way Genie bends over backwards and selflessly grants wishes- even ones he didn't have to- and genuinely wants the best for Aladdin despite the sacrifices it costs him, is the heart and soul of what this sign is for me. Not that this is always a good thing- I've definitely given away way too much without proper boundaries and gotten burned by it- but the way I feel for someone's situation, and want to do everything in my power to make it all better for them, is what Genie and I have in common. The shackles around him often feel how this type of empathy feels too- knowing you care so much and so deeply about someone, trying your best to "poof" their problems away, but having to free yourself from helping them or else it will drag you down as well. It's a big lesson this sign often has to learn the hard way, and boy have I learned it. But still, when it's used correctly and for the right person- nothing feels better than knowing you helped someone feel a lot less alone in this crazy world, and made a positive impact on their soul.

So those are mine! Please reblog with yours, and let me know why you chose your characters! I love pop-psychology through animation, and just in general lol, but either way, it was super fun to do. 🥰✨

[obsessivefangirl]

WHAT ARE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT STAN BEING THE DUMB TWIN

OK SO

The fandom gives him quite a bit of credit, which I'm grateful for. They see him as capable in street smarts. Sure, he's a controversial guy, but in the end he can sweet talk and is good with giving people what they want. He can read a person in and out.

But that's where I see the "Stan is smart/talented" nod off. Ford is seen as not savvy with people and Stan is only savvy with people. But people don't notice how much of an idiot Ford can be, because he does it in a science way.

Ford pretends to be the calm, collected and reasonable one but he has just as bad of a temper as Stan. He doesn't think ahead, giving away mind control devices to children (which btw, someone pointed this out but... Ford was more than happy giving the same intrusion to his brother's mind that made him so paranoid. He didn't even get a reason why and he just offered it) and doesn't even think about those warnings about Bill while considering him.

Another thing is Ford is given credit where McGucket or Bill was the one doing the heavy work. Ford is very knowledgeable, he's a genius, but some people think he's on Rick Sandriz's level, but he's not. Rick is a genius that can make devices Ford couldn't dream of. Bill was the one to create the portal, and he needed Fiddleford for construction. He's smart, but he's not an engineer like Fiddleford. He can probably whip up inventions, but that would be through software and hardware and just being able to understand certain reactions, instead of Fiddleford's more nuanced designs.

Ford is also incredibly childish. His brother (in his eyes) sabotaged him in a science fair, which made him not defend Stan when he was kicked out. He saw Stan essentially being promised to leave their lives forever and ignored that. Of course he had every right to be angry, but he didn't even try to help him before or after. Then he doesn't look back until he needs help, and even when depending on Stanley he looks at him as someone less. In the journal he refers to Stanley as someone could be of use. When Stanley says he's been through hell including kidnapping— possibly trafficking— he screams about his dream school. After 30 fucking years, he punches Stan and doesn't even apologize, planning on pulling a Filbrick, ignoring the fact that Stanley is the reason the house is still standing. The only way to get through him was losing his brother in essentially death.

Finally, we have the big one– intelligence. Now, here's the thing. I fully admit that Stanford wins in that situation. But. BUT. Stanley taught himself from nothing, being a high school dropout, and did most of the work needed with the first book only. Ford acts as if he was just bashing it until it worked, but that's because he's a stubborn bastard who can't admit any good out him. He's not stupid, and although he learned very specific types of things in that, it shows he's an incredible learner who just doesn't care enough to learn the other stuff.

Obviously Stanley has idiot moments. I've only been singing his praises and criticizing Ford in this when they're mixed bags, but my point isn't to analyze every nook and cranny. It's to break down beliefs already internalized. In the end, Stanford isn't the idol of perfection some think he is. Stanley is rash, childish, his ego can get in the way, and is OK with crimes. But Stanford is too.

How did this turn into this, I was planning on just talking about the book smarts but–

[biblioflyer]

Alien Romulus thoughts (minimal spoilers)

What I liked:

The characters are reasonably intelligent and make decent choices given what their knowledge and the situation. They weren't outrageously dumb given their backgrounds and situational awareness: I'm looking at you Prometheus.

The first 2/3rds has great ambience. It genuinely felt like an Alien movie.

The character of Andy.

The "gore" felt appropriately dialed in. There was really only one scene that I felt was over the top and unnecessary. It felt appropriate for an Alien movie. Its R rated, but the sort of R rated where I wouldn't feel that weird about seeing fourteen year olds in the audience.

The presentation of the Xenomorphs is about right. They're neither omnipotent nor have they suffered much in the way of villain decay.

I saw a lot of complaints about the CGI used for [redacted] comparing it to other deep fakes and the airbrushing of Henry Cavill's mustache. I didn't find it jarring personally.

What I didn't like:

The final act suddenly starts shotgunning callbacks like it was a Marvel movie. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Marvel movies, but Marvel movies are Marvel movies.

The world building feels a bit half baked. The number of plot contrivances just seems a little much. The scheme of the heroes seems a bit of a Hail Mary and unlikely to work or be within their competencies once you start thinking about it. As my partner pointed out, Ripley was a seasoned spacer. Very little of her competencies were out of step with what she was doing, albeit under a lot more stress than the norm. Andy's "magic finger" being the keys to the kingdom for a top secret space lab doing all kinds of dangerous and nefarious stuff is probably not the silliest instance of an evil corporation having lousy OpSec but its up there.

I'm not inherently opposed to a through line of [redacted] being a MacGuffin with no clear rules because its inscrutable Clarketech and we are trampling in the garden of an angry god, but I feel like each attempt to utilize it in this fashion buries this subtext.

I don't necessarily approve of movies force feeding us their theme, so I'm prepared to take the word of characters providing exposition with massive does of salt. Yet the final act feels less like a story of hubris and more of an attempt to provide a crude logical substrate to lore that has gone a bit off the rails while, as mentioned, doing lots of callbacks in the process. Some of those callbacks are likely to be a bit controversial depending on where one stands on some of the entries into the franchise that are fashionable to hate on.

There's no particular reason for this film to act as an explicit retcon by virtue of being a direct sequel to Alien in the style of some of the other popular thriller - killer franchises out there that have rebooted themselves by returning to the beginning and starting over from there. However, it does introduce some potential plot holes with Aliens that need some hand waving.

Also the audio mix at the theater I attended was really bad. I do feel like I missed a lot of dialogue that might have tidied up things a bit more. I legitimately am still very confused by at least one major plot development.

[aspd-culture]

hiya, do you have any blanket advice for those looking to do some solid research into self-diagnosis, especially as an autistic? good sources, common mistakes, etc? would appreciate anything because I’ve just had a long few hours of mentally spiralling into the depths of hell over trying to figure out what empathy and remorse actually are

I have posts I will link at the end of this defining remorse that hopefully should help.

Empathy exists in 2 or 3 types, depending on who you ask. Most commonly, you will see 2 types of empathy being spoken about.

Affective empathy (the type people mean when they just say empathy): The ability to recognize other's emotions subconsciously without thinking about it/trying to, and having those emotions mirrored in your own. So (for pwAffective Empathy) if someone is angry, you will feel angry (not at them). If someone is crying, you may want to cry or start crying. If someone is smiling genuinely, you will feel happy. There isn't a qualifier on this. You don't have to know the person at all, let alone care about them, for this to happen if you have affective empathy, but afaik it is stronger in those you're bonded with.

Cognitive Empathy: Being able to intentionally think about "putting yourself in their shoes" and figuring out, based on what you would be feeling/others in previous situations felt, what the person is feeling. This is something that takes some amount of effort and is usually what pwLow/No Empathy learn to do to mask empathy.

The third, that is less talked about as a type of empathy:

Empathic Concern aka Compassion: Seeing someone in a tough situation or going through something that is upsetting (either to them or something generally considered upsetting like de*th) and feeling bad for them (also can include an urge to help them in some way or feeling bad you can't help them).

As for resources, I would say reading the DSM entries is always my first step in the long process of researching a disorder I think I may have. The DSM is thorough, if stigmatizing towards ASPD in some ways, and is the standard to which professionals are held in their diagnoses in the USA.

I also firmly recommend looking into anecdotal experience on tumblr, tiktok, etc etc (besides twitter which imo does not allow enough characters for nuanced discussion of mental health) to see if you relate to how the disorder tends to present. It's especially helpful to try and find pw any comorbid disorders you have talking about their experience. For example, I am AuDHD and have ASPD, which means my experience will be much different than someone with ASPD who does not have autism and/or ADHD. People try and discredit social media representation of mental health, to which I say "screw you, you just don't like that people with mental health disorders don't need to feel isolated and alone and shamed anymore". Obviously, take these as anecdotes, not guarantees on what the disorder looks like, but when you read enough of it, you'll get the vibe of what is controversial vs what most of the community with the disorder experiences.

Common mistakes: beware the loud minority/elitist assholes. There are people who are thoroughly convinced that no one with this disorder is allowed to look different than anyone else with it (Similar to people who say "you can't be autistic bc you don't act like my high support needs 5 year old autistic cousin"). There are people still using the word sociopath in an unironic way (and aren't just reclaiming it). These people will have you believe very ableist things they internalized. Notice them, block them, and move on from it.

Another common mistake is not reading into discourse about the disorder. Discourse can be stressful to read, but if you're looking into if you do or don't have a disorder, it can be very useful to see what is important enough to pw the disorder to be arguing about. You don't have to and maybe shouldn't pick a side while you're still questioning if you have it, but there is info to be gained in respectful discourse posts.

Maybe the most important: reading about stigma and ableism as tagged by people with the disorder. This will help you avoid falling into any internalized ableism and avoid getting blocked by informational accounts that could be beneficial to you learning. Do this before you post (or post again) about the disorder. Learn what is considered harmful, hurtful, ableist, and/or stigmatizing as far as the community of pw the disorder is concerned and keep it in mind in any future posts and irl discussions about the disorder.

Aside from that, I know a great post (not specific to ASPD at all) about the process of self diagnosis that I will link for you under the links to my posts about empathy and remorse. Linking specifically to a reblog with an important addition I touched on here.

I hope this helps!

Links:

It's worth noting that in this last link, OP (not Mental Illness Bingo) repeatedly remarks on it being annoying and/or inappropriate to ask blogs "do you think I might have this", and I personally disagree. That's just a me thing though. I cannot diagnose anyone as I am just a person with a (maybe somewhat worrying) amount of professionally diagnosed mental health conditions, not a professional. Even if I was one, I would not be able to diagnose you bc I am not your professional. I don't mind helping point people in the right direction if they feel I could be helpful though! I do agree that friends may be biased, and I know many other blogs have policies against answering that sort of ask, so know your audience if you ask. Just wanted to make that note here so no one things I'm vagueing them by linking that post. If I am uncomfortable with a certain type of ask, I'll make sure you guys know and probably add it to my pinned post.

Plain text below the cut:

I have posts I will link at the end of this defining remorse that hopefully should help.

Empathy exists in 2 or 3 types, depending on who you ask. Most commonly, you will see 2 types of empathy being spoken about.

Affective empathy (the type people mean when they just say empathy): The ability to recognize other's emotions subconsciously without thinking about it/trying to, and having those emotions mirrored in your own. So (for pwAffective Empathy) if someone is angry, you will feel angry (not at them). If someone is crying, you may want to cry or start crying. If someone is smiling genuinely, you will feel happy. There isn't a qualifier on this. You don't have to know the person at all, let alone care about them, for this to happen if you have affective empathy, but afaik it is stronger in those you're bonded with.

Cognitive Empathy: Being able to intentionally think about "putting yourself in their shoes" and figuring out, based on what you would be feeling/others in previous situations felt, what the person is feeling. This is something that takes some amount of effort and is usually what pwLow/No Empathy learn to do to mask empathy.

The third, that is less talked about as a type of empathy:

Empathic Concern aka Compassion: Seeing someone in a tough situation or going through something that is upsetting (either to them or something generally considered upsetting like de*th) and feeling bad for them (also can include an urge to help them in some way or feeling bad you can't help them).

As for resources, I would say reading the DSM entries is always my first step in the long process of researching a disorder I think I may have. The DSM is thorough, if stigmatizing towards ASPD in some ways, and is the standard to which professionals are held in their diagnoses in the USA.

I also firmly recommend looking into anecdotal experience on tumblr, tiktok, etc etc (besides twitter which imo does not allow enough characters for nuanced discussion of mental health) to see if you relate to how the disorder tends to present. It's especially helpful to try and find pw any comorbid disorders you have talking about their experience. For example, I am AuDHD and have ASPD, which means my experience will be much different than someone with ASPD who does not have autism and/or ADHD. People try and discredit social media representation of mental health, to which I say "screw you, you just don't like that people with mental health disorders don't need to feel isolated and alone and shamed anymore". Obviously, take these as anecdotes, not guarantees on what the disorder looks like, but when you read enough of it, you'll get the vibe of what is controversial vs what most of the community with the disorder experiences.

Common mistakes: beware the loud minority/elitist assholes. There are people who are thoroughly convinced that no one with this disorder is allowed to look different than anyone else with it (Similar to people who say "you can't be autistic bc you don't act like my high support needs 5 year old autistic cousin"). There are people still using the word sociopath in an unironic way (and aren't just reclaiming it). These people will have you believe very ableist things they internalized. Notice them, block them, and move on from it.

Another common mistake is not reading into discourse about the disorder. Discourse can be stressful to read, but if you're looking into if you do or don't have a disorder, it can be very useful to see what is important enough to pw the disorder to be arguing about. You don't have to and maybe shouldn't pick a side while you're still questioning if you have it, but there is info to be gained in respectful discourse posts.

Maybe the most important: reading about stigma and ableism as tagged by people with the disorder. This will help you avoid falling into any internalized ableism and avoid getting blocked by informational accounts that could be beneficial to you learning. Do this before you post (or post again) about the disorder. Learn what is considered harmful, hurtful, ableist, and/or stigmatizing as far as the community of pw the disorder is concerned and keep it in mind in any future posts and irl discussions about the disorder.

Aside from that, I know a great post (not specific to ASPD at all) about the process of self diagnosis that I will link for you under the links to my posts about empathy and remorse. Linking specifically to a reblog with an important addition I touched on here.

I hope this helps!

Links are above, and I have added plain texts to the ones that are mine as well.

[humming-pokemon-helpers]

“Does my Pokémon…?”

“Is my partner Pokémon…?”

A guide to FAQ’s I get from trainers about their Pokémon partners, since I’m lucky enough to understand Pokémon speech!

“Does my Pokémon actually enjoy battling?”

I’ve gotten this one a lot, probably in part due to Plasma’s messaging having a pretty big impact on Unovan culture! And yes, unless your Pokémon is showing clear signs of anxiety or burnout, and as long as you see that they’re willingly using the moves you’re asking them to, they do enjoy battling! Like most anybody with cool magic powers would, they love showing off their skills and working to improve them with you! It’s natural for Pokémon to battle (even if not all of them do), and it’s great exercise as well.

“Does my Pokémon feel the same emotions I do?”

With the disclaimer that they may not feel or express emotions the same way as us at times (much like humans vary in emotional experience and expression), yes! Pokémon are happy when they eat a good meal and spend time with their loved ones, sad when they lose an important battle, angry when they can’t see eye-to-eye with their trainers, scared when they’re in over their heads, and so much more! One of a trainer’s most important jobs is recognizing these emotions and tending to them, like a parent would with a child.

“Is my Pokémon as smart as a human?”

This one is a controversial question at best, but I’ll do my best to give an answer based on my experiences. The first point, frankly, is that it varies. All Pokémon have the smarts to use moves and abilities, understand and communicate with each other and with humans, and to take care of their needs in life, but beyond that it can vary widely! Typically Pokémon tend to increase in intelligence as they evolve, for one rule. I’ll also note that type does NOT impact general intelligence: there are bug types that are smarter than psychic types, for one example! (I mention this because there's a well-noted phenomenon of assuming psychic-types are more intelligent due to their abilities; while highly intelligent psychic-types like Alakazam exist, there's also Pokemon like Hatterene that put very little critical thought in before deciding to thrash something that annoys them.)

But also, the question of intelligence doesn’t generally make a huge difference in human-Pokémon relationships. Pokemon might communicate less eloquently if they're a Magikarp versus an Empoleon, but they're still capable of love, competition, and everything else that makes Pokemon Pokemon!

"Does my Pokemon love me?"

The vast majority of the time I get this question, the answer is already pretty clear from how their Pokemon behaves. If you treat your partners with love and care, odds are that love will be returned with time! The tells vary from Pokemon to Pokemon, but if you look up your partner species' body language, you'll learn very quickly that most of the time, the bonds humans and Pokemon build are amazingly deep and strong even without words!

(With words, my partner Pokemon are frequently telling jokes, telling stories about their days, and expressing their love in so many ways I feel as though they're the best friends I could ever have. I hope some day the technology opens up to allow for open communication for everyone; it's a wonderful feeling.)

"No, no, I meant like... romantically."

The amount of times I have heard this from trainers of humanoid Pokemon like Gardevoir, Machamp, Lopunny, Incineroar, Zoroark, and Arceus knows why, but for some reason also one trainer with a Vaporeon??? is more than a little disturbing.

Firstly: just because your Pokemon has a humanoid shape does not mean it has human intelligence, something I neglected to mention above. They do feel love, and appreciation, and joy. They are loyal to a fault and would probably die to protect you. They show affection frequently in ways that might come across as romantic to some people: hugs, hand-holding, generally being up in your face.

But for the love of everything holy, that does not mean that your Pokemon is capable of a romantic relationship with you. Or that it would be willing. Most Pokemon are vaguely confused at the concept at best, because the relationships we build are fundamentally different from human-human and Pokemon-Pokemon ones. Relationships where there is already an inherent power dynamic of trainer and Pokemon. Relationships where there is a clear gap in communication.

In not a single one of the cases I have seen was there anything resembling "romantic feelings" from the Pokemon these trainers were talking about, and there was a very swift move to discussion of how to interpret displays of affection, the trainer's own intentions, and what led them to their own conclusions. Most of the time, luckily, it's just the trainer's own worry that their Pokemon is interpreting their bond wrong.

But in the cases where trainers have developed feelings for their own Pokemon... I'm sorry, but that's one boundary I keep in therapy. I just can't handle those kinds of clients, just because of the disastrous results it usually leads to. (And to be perfectly honest, I have my own personal biases here as well due to my... past experiences.)

...I think I got a bit off track here. But I'm happy to answer any other questions people have about their Pokemon in general! Just not the last one.

[presdestigatto]

Hey how long have you been following f1? I started following in 2023 and I honestly got so shocked about lewis coming to ferrari. I didn't even thought this would be a real possibility.

It made me pretty upset in general, because I kind of feel charles was cheated lmao. He is there working hard to make them succeed and now they just bring Lewis out of nowhere, paying huge amounts of money to him and making him the ambassador of ferrari.

And like I saw in some of your posts now everyone is already giving lewis the credit for all the changes. I even saw someone on twitter say that maybe they brought Vasseur already thinking on bringing Lewis, since they also worked together in the past. Like Oh of course who cares about chuck. In their minds its like these.

So even if ferrari gets better in the next years everything will be attributed to him.

This is why I kind of hope he doesn't win the wdc. Honestly, maybe its because i'm new in f1 but I don't understand the hype about him getting the 8?? Like he already have 7!!! Thats a lot. I would much rather see the young generarion getting titles. I know he wants to break Schumacher records, but it doesnt seem like such an important think to me? Feels more like an ego trip. And even if you break the record, its not like Schumacher its going to be less than an icon. Senna, Proust, Lauda nobody cares if they have less championships, they are icons. And who knows, a few years later another driver might break this record, so then what? (Kind of hope for max to be the one breaking just for the funsies, since he doesn't seem to care that much about status)

So yeah I think i'm a bit angry with this lol. Like Lewis got his time in dominant mercedes winning titles with Bottas as second driver. Max is having this right now with Checo as second. I wish charles could have this, not have another first driver fighting for priority in the team. And who knows if they're going to develop the car more to his liking than charles. Since they're giving him such a fortune

anon you come into my inbox with such bold and controversial words you are going to get me cancelled /j

i started following f1 in 2023 as well actually!! i was similarly shocked, but i’m chronically online and have family members who were in this longer than me so hopefully im caught up enough to respond to this properly. i don’t quite agree with the parts on Lewis and i’ll explain more below the cut

first, honestly i think its very fair to be upset for charles. in terms of public perception, the move does not currently reflect well on him and i’ve seen incredible amounts of slander, though that’s also on me for not blocking and muting enough, lol. the timing, after we all assumed the first driver war was over with the 4lyfe contract extension could actually not be worse and i believe that’s a big reason for the dismayed response. there are like ten thousand opinions on whether this is good or bad, im more inclined towards it being beneficial eventually because i believe charles can beat a 40yo lewis. i doubt i can add something that hasn’t already been said by countless others haha, this piece here is especially good. ultimately, the team dynamics of a ferrari 1644 pairing will be decided with their on track performance, so it comes down to having faith in Charles’ ability.

now onto Lewis, i’m actually quite invested in him getting his eighth, which is why i, personally, wanted to cry when i first heard the news. as for why fans want that eighth title for him so desperately- uhm. AD21.

additionally, we’ve talked a lot about the ferrari mythos, but Lewis’ personal brand also cannot be understated. for many, many people, Lewis himself is a dream. a black man from a working class background who uses his platform and prestige to advance inclusivity, having his name etched in history as the most successful f1 driver of all time is to me the best thing to ever come out of this racing series. i know its irritating to see Charles be dismissed like his past 5 years at ferrari is nothing, but that’s a fan response, likely not what’s happening behind the scenes, and it’s honestly very difficult to begrudge fans of a driver for wanting their driver to win more titles.

tbh, the hype toward Lewis’ move is in large part because of how successful his sudden jump to mercedes in 2013 was. there’s a belief that he can spot a competitive package before it presents itself, and i believe in it too. this also is a good thing for Charles. i think recency bias with regards to his bad luck and the frankly bizarre media favouritism shown to Carlos has made most people who don’t follow Charles like we do underestimate him.

lastly, no comments for the redbull situation and Max lol, but historically it isn’t true that a championship winning team needs to have a strong first driver and weaker second. one example would be Seb and Mark Webber in redbull. Mark Webber gets overshadowed a lot because of the 2010-2013 Seb dominance but he was a strong driver who helped redbull dominate those years. the other examples are actually all Lewis pairings, i think it’s recency bias again driving this narrative that Lewis had an easy time with his teammates. Lewis’ teammates have been like, incredibly stacked? let’s not engage in Nico Rosberg erasure even though he’s currently pretending like he has absolutely no stake in what’s probably the biggest move in Lewis’ career. there’s this post going around about how 1644 isn’t even a top3 Lewis pairing and unfortunately until Charlie wins that championship with ferrari i am objectively unable to disagree. before Lewis got Valterri as a teammate he was partnered with Alonso, Jenson Button and Nico R. he pretty much had incredible teammates for his first decade in f1. and we all know he rates Charles highly, so all respect to him for deciding to throw himself into a new challenge w ferrari.

i think actually the fact that pundits and reporters are suggesting this could be a all time great pairing is a sign of how highly Charles is rated even though he’s not a world champion yet.

at the end of this Lewis and Charles would have shared the rare experience of having multiple, multiple wdcs as teammates and that’s incredible. let’s not forget that Lewis named Charles as the young driver he sees the most of himself in. honestly, if i had to pick a world champ for Charles’ career to resemble, i’d rather it be Lewis who has come out on top of so many strong teammates than Max.

[corhore]

So… Zeb Wells totally intended on the kids actually being MJ’s and Paul’s biologically and chickened out (rightfully so, fucking idiot) at the last minute right?

Because in issue 24, Rabin has no idea the kids exist, nor that they’re in the bunker. In issue 25, it’s implied he creates them and the first person he meets when he attacks the bunker is one of the kids. And then issue 26 reveals he created them as a tracking beacon to follow MJ back to her universe, except he could already travel universes and follow and locate her at will way back in issue 21, BEFORE the kids were ever a thing. And the farm life that the “happy family” lives shows they were safe for years, not under constant attack/danger like we assumed, meaning MJ and Paul totally had time to *make* the kids the old fashioned way. Plus Rabin saying he made the kids look like them so they’d get attached more easily feels like some quickly made-up bullshit to justify why she’d stay with Paul if the kids were adopted, instead of co-parenting with Peter.

And in the MJ/Black Cat spin-off, MJ is repeatedly said to have vanished for six months, whilst issue 25 reveals she was gone less than one and her kids are referred to by a demon lord who has been told nothing about them - he just knows stuff because he’s a demon - as MJ’s progeny - not adopted, biological.

They changed it last minute to save his ass.

And then in issue 26 they have Rabin call Paul “Your precious Paul” to MJ, have MJ defending a genocide enabler against Peter, which certainly seems intended to imply she loves him, especially when she compares the two, tells Peter she knows everything about Paul and tells him Paul has never lied to her (which he has, about many very big things, so gaslighting too now) and has MJ protesting “Spider-Man is not my boyfriend!” when Kamala calls him her bf. Yeah he definitely wanted to make his OCship canon and is pissed he wasn’t allowed (GOOD, fuck him).

Fucking idiot genuinely thought he could permanently split up Peter and MJ, remove the possibility of Mayday from canon for good and fans would be ok with it.

I think your giving Wells too much credit.

The truth is that he has NO plan for the kids or Paul. If he did then they would actually get explored and fleshed out in the book. The fact that Paul and the kids have had zero spotlight other than one issue (and the girl having two names cus the editors/Wells didn't remember her name) is evidence that Wells didn't care. Hell they only appear in like 7 issues across 27 issues most of which they do nothing.

From the very beginning he didn't care at all about the Kids/Paul nor MJ. He just wanted to writer a Spidey book with Peter working with a "reformed" Norman and be with Black Cat. Paul and the kids was just a dumb way to get MJ outta the way.

The truth is you can make this premise MJ dating another guy and adopting kids good. You can, but the execution has to be fucking spot on especially with MJ, but Wells not only isn't a good enough writer to pull that off, but he didn't care about the premise to begin with. Paul and the kids are nothing characters. They are props. Literal props to stir up controversy and to make people angry.

What were left with is the kids are gone, Paul is still around and MJ is sad. Are they still a couple? Were they ever even in love? What happens to them now? All questions everyone wants (good) answers to, but Wells doesn't care to answer for at least several months cus MJ isn't appearing in the book for the foreseeable future.

And then theres the legit textbook fridging of Ms Marvel a character whos appears in a whopping 12 pages overall.

Its legitimately insane how baffling poor this book is. This is career endingly bad. I fear Zeb Wells isn't writing another Marvel comic for a very long time after this.

Btw he's also writing Deadpool 3 and The Marvels.