#this one im getting dizzy in the middle of my second

[aliengirl]

girll dinner

[lxnarphase]

Please more Hikari and Todo. It's scratching this itch in my brain😩

━━ ❝ IF YOU WANT IT ❞

☾₊‧⁺...lunar's note : AAA yesyes this has been brewing for a while, i am happy to write hakari i love him so sooooo much!! and ive got another ask for a todo fic im workin on so this'll be hakari's piece <33 it a bit short bc ive got a bit of writers block rn bc of finals taking away my creativity, BUT I THINK ITS GOOD

☾₊‧⁺...cw : smut, pre-established relationship, unprotected sex, dirty talk, begging, mentions of creampies, mentions of birth control, reader makes the birth control decision herself not for the man!!! never get on birth control just cause a man says to!!, hakari nearly loses it

☾₊‧⁺...synopsis : you tell your boyfriend that you'd like to try sex with no condom and he can't help but get a little excited

"you...you what?"

the way you giggle makes him dizzy as you flicked the condom out of his hands with your middle finger and thumb. "you heard me, mr. hakari. no condom, baby girl is on birth control," you said in a singy-song voice. you made the decision a while ago and decided you were going to stick to it. "if you want to use a condom, we can, though, honey," you say, cupping one of his cheeks.

he looked so cute, jaw dropped as he kneels between your thighs, dick hard and twitching. "nonononono, i wanna try, i do, 'm just..." kinji lets out a heavy sigh before he shuffles a little closer. "c-can't believe you lettin' me d'this, cupcake..."

the poor thing, kinji looks so nervous, his eyes wide as he slowly, carefully, starts to push his tip in. if he's going to do this, he needs to commit, but fuck, your pussy was so hot, he feels like he's gonna die-- the moment his tip pops in, he is a goner. his head falls back and his fingers dig into the fat of your hips as a choked groan escapes him.

"hoooohmygod, baby, what the fuck," kinji swears, looking back down. he didn't wanna miss a single second of his cock pushing inside, but the view wasn't doing him any better. "you're so warm...are you always this wet, cupcake? fuck, i didn't know, baby, i didn't know."

you coo at him, how could you not when he already looks so fucked out? his pretty eyes are rolling back and his lip is between his teeth, the glint of his chain with your name on it dangling so pretty on his neck.

he's not moving yet, he's still inside you, so sure that he's going to lose himself inside of you. but then you start talking and he's so screwed because hearing you say such filthy things in that gorgeous, addictive voice of yours is kinji's weakness.

"c'mon, kinjiiii, you just gonna sit there?"

"mmn, poor thing, 's too good? you gonna cum just from puttin' it in?"

"d'aww, kinjiii...pussy made you fucked out already?"

yes. yes it fucking did.

weakly dropping down to his forearms over you, he presses a little kiss against your cheek before pressing his forehead against yours and glaring at you weakly. you know you've got him where you want him.

"doll, you're so cruel to me."

finally, finally, he starts moving and...it feels way too good.

"o-oh. mnn, kinji, shit," you swear, glancing down to where his cock is slowly dragging out of you just to push back in. "fuck, b-baby, you feel s' hot inside me..." the wet noise that fills the air as he slides back in to the hilt causes makes you both hot in the face, it's already getting messy and he hasn't even picked up the pace yet. he coos at you, kissing you once you begin to mewl his name. "i know, baby, i know, 's good, yeah?"

fuck, the sensation of being inside you without any barrier is intoxicating, overwhelming. kinji's pretty eyes fluttered closed for a moment as he allowed himself to feel every detail of your slick walls gripping him.

"talk t' me, angel, how's it feel, huh? c'mon, pretty baby, i wanna know," kinji whines, hips starting to pick up speed as he grows desperate to hear you say how good it feels.

but you don't even get to respond before he hits so fucking deep that you can feel yourself gush. the feeling of your hot, cushy walls hugging him so tightly paired with the pretty little gasp he gets when his sticky tip nudges against something that makes you get impossibly wetter makes him lose his mind.

"y'feel it, right? 's me, 's all me, an' i don't know if i can go back, baby girl, fuck! ohmygodd, you're so wet, so fucking wet for me."

"can i cum inside? you gonna let me fuck you full? hm? please, baby, i'll be so good to ya, let your man stuff you wit' his cum, 's gonna feel so fuckin' good, promise, promise."

"suckin' me in so good, 'm-'m gonna be in this pussy all the fuckin' time. you can handle it, right? gonna be a good girl and get fucked every. fucking. day. by hakari kinji? say it, i wanna hear you say it, cupcake."

"i love you, baby, y'know that right? yeah? yeah, love you s' fuckin' much, 'm gonna marry you and make sure you never have t' go a day without gettin' fucked raw by this cock, 's alllllll for you."

all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work

[merchelsea]

the crash — logan sargeant

pairing: logan sargeant x girlfriend!russell!reader

summary: logan had an horrible crash and this is basically how you (and your brother) got through it.

author’s note: i was in the middle of writing this when i got the news. coudn't write anything else after, but could never finish it. until today. im still not okay, logan girlie till i die. also can you guys tell i absolutely love writing about logan?

word count: 1.4k

requested?: yes.

warnings: a crash, unconcious logan, sadness, angst, cursing

masterlist | request rules (closed)

fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck.

your mind was completely blank as you watched you brother get out of his own car to run to logan's.

shit. it was the worst crash you had watched in your whole life. and you had been around this cars for the most of it.

you couldn't move, seeing your boyfriend's car upside down, smoke coming out of it like it would do on your chimneys home at christmas eve. but this smoke didn't make you feel comforted, it did the opposite.

you could breath, but barely. and you hardly managed to let tears slip from your eyes. it was all too much, way too much.

but it was when you heard george scream for logan's name that something suddenly snapped. logan wasn't responding.

your legs started moving on their own and you found yourself trying to run to the track. a mercedes crew member had to hold you to keep you from doing so, and the most painful screams left your throat as you fought against it.

marcus, george's race engineer, came to you as he saw your state.

"hey, mini one, it's gonna be okay. it's gonna be okay." he kept repeating.

you couldn't believe him, and god, you were trying hard to.

"look, he's out of the car." he pointed to the screen, you calmed down a little to try and see him clearly, your blurry eyes making it hard. your brother held one of his arms, a member of the medical team holding the other.

with tears still storming out of your eyes, you saw your brother leave him at the medical car and run towards the pits, to then come to the garage.

george ran because he knew you were probably going out of your mind, and he needed to give you some comfort, but also because he needed to get, at least, an id so he could go with logan to the hospital.

as soon as marcus saw the driver, he let go of you. your brother soon catching you in a much more comforting embrace.

"he's okay. he's alive." george whispered to you. a sigh escaping your lips as you heard it. "i'm going with him to the hospital, carmen's on her way, she will drive you there once you-"

"no, no, no, no. i need to go see him." you said, as you pulled away from him. your eyes displayed pure pain and anxiety, and it was so hard for your brother to fight you back in that moment. he could only imagine what it would be like if this was his girlfriend, but he knew he was doing the right thing.

"you are not okay right now, y/n. i'm going."

"but he's my-" he interrupted you, knowing that he would give in the second you started talking about how much you loved logan.

"it's not up to discussion. carmen shouldn't take long, she'll drive you there as soon as you're more collected." he tells you, and you open your mouth to argue again, but he's faster. "think about it, logan's gonna need you at your best. you will do him no good showing up looking miserable."

he was right, so right it made you angry. you needed to see your boyfriend, you needed to see with your own eyes that he was okay. but you nodded to your big brother, leaving him a quick kiss in the cheek before storming out to the toilets.

george quickly went for an identification and left the garage again. as he reached the medical centre everything was ready to take logan to a proper hospital. he was now awake, but still dizzy and confused.

he got in the car and logan looked at him, confused, before passing out again.

george's mind rushed to the moment you told him about logan. you and your brother had a really good relationship, and you felt pretty comfortable in telling him everything. of course that he was still a lot protective over you, but he trusted your judgement and kept out of your love life.

so when you told him logan asked you to be his girlfriend, he showed you nothing but support. but logan told you later, that your brother actually gave him a word.

george remembered every single interaction between you and logan and felt desperate about the idea of you losing your boyfriend. it was clear how much you liked each other, and sargeant was the only guy he wanted for his sister. the only one he ever thought was good enough for his other half.

was when carmen called him, telling him that you were still not okay to come, that he came back to reality. the american had already been taken away for testing and george was on his own by the waiting room.

soon enough they called his name, updating him about his brother-in-law's state and telling him he could go ahead and meet him.

george opened the door to logan's room and was recieved by terrified eyes. he heard a relieved sigh and chuckled softly.

"mate, i thought it was your sister." the american weakly whispered. "don't want her to see me like this."

the older russell could only smile to the young driver.

"she's with carmen, i thought it might be a good idea to let her calm down before she saw you." sargeant simply nodded to the brit's words, feeling relieved he had thought it all through for her well being. that was his main goal aswell.

"how are you feeling, man?" george asked. "could be better, to be fair." logan remarked. "i don't feel too much pain, but i am as disappointed as i could be." the older one shook his head, taking a seat next to your boyfriend.

"you shouldn't feel like that. i've talked to alex about the car, he tells me that sometimes it feels undrivable." he points out, looking at his face to take note of the big bruise. "but let's not talk about that, hm? how are th-"

he is interrupted by the buzz of his phone. logan could read carmen's name on the screen.

"hey, look i tried but she really isn't changing her mind. she needs to see him. we're on our way." the spanish tells him. he doesn't have time to answer cause the woman had already hang up.

"stubborn as always." he jokes to logan, who just smiles, still worried about her reaction to his state.

the both drivers continued talking, this time about food, until they heard the door opening suddenly. you abruptly moved to get closer to logan, eyes watering at the sight of his beautiful bright blue eyes, that were watering too, while carmen slowly walked over to her own boyfriend.

"hi." logan simply said, a single tear rolling down his cheek while he smiled up at you. "hi," your whisper came out broken. "are you okay?"

you asked as the first tear came down your eyes. you looked at the marks the crash had left on his face. "i think so. your brother knows better than i do, though."

you both look over at george, who hugged carmen sideways, the older couple looking at you with worry in their eyes.

"he should be fine, they are still running exams to be completely sure, but until now, nothing we should worry about. just a little bruise ruining his pretty face." you nod and take your hand up to his face, your thumb lining the bruise near his forehead. it was big, but it was a miracle he came out of that car with only that.

george points to the door, indicating they're giving you two some time and space.

"george," logan called out. the man turned around to look at your boyfriend. "thank you for everything, mate." your brother smiled down. "it was nothing, brother." he said before closing the door to the room.

logan turned to you with a silly smile "if a crash was all i needed to get along with your brother i would've done it sooner." he smiled as you closed your face, not even the slightest of smiles evident on it.

"don't joke about this. i nearly died while watching, never do that again." you commanded, but he knew you were asking him with all your heart to make sure to be safe. "i can promise you i'll try."

his soft smile made you want to burst into tears, but you managed to compose yourself. you just rolled your eyes and sarcastically smiled. "idiot."

© merchelsea

if you'd like to be tagged in any of my future works, let me know ;)

[wintersera]

Can you make a fic about vampire!karina? Her fangs in supernova mv got me dizzy😵‍💫

not so much of a fic but maybe a short little imagine/drabble thingy? cause yk yuh eslayyy

tw: blood 😰

anyways she looks like a little brat here it’s actually driving me a little insane CAUSE HOW DOES SHE LOOK SO CUTE WHEN SHES WREAKING HAVOC IN THE STREETS (and in the sheets ifykwim)😭

the typa vampire girlie to be so desperate to feed on reader bc shes so pretty and shes so so hungry ;;

lets say one day you woke up in the middle of the damn night, had a singular thought- the thought being explore the forest, at what? 2am. what a great idea 😭

so you prepared essentials in a backpack; some food, water bottle, a torch, lighter, batteries and thats about it.

you weren’t too big of a believer in the supernatural, you thought the concept of it was cool yk, warewolves and vampires- all that interesting stuff that you’d see in movies and books. obviously all that stuff was fake, so really, coming across a vampire wasn’t on your list of ‘what to do and encounter at a forest’. and now you’re aimlessly wondering around in the butt fuck of nowhere ignoring the obvious signs as to why your ass should NAWT be in the fucksss forest at this ungodly hour. you could’ve chosen any other time but naaurrr,,,

anyways, as you were strolling around without a care in the world, you heard the snap of a twig and something rustling around in the bushes. it could be a bear, or a man… the idea of that was worse by tenfold.

was the right option run back home and go back to sleep, yes! did you do it? NO, you know what you did? move towards the bushes… any reasoning? “what if its a cat? the cat distribution system could be in my favour today” :]

WRONG.

out from the bushes came a pretty tall girl. she bared her teeth at you, a clear warning so you could back up before anything bad happened. yet you stood there observing her instead. ngl you were pretty terrified none the less, pretty girl with sharp fangs that could rip through your skin. you were convinced she wasn’t real, maybe she was a hallucination??? idk bro maybe you were on shrooms or something.

“what are you doing here all alone in the woods pretty girl?”

tbh you were pretty shocked to the point of not being able to talk, so you stood there.

“aww too scared to speak? that’s okay, come with me” she grabbed your hand, grip pretty tight since she didn’t know how strong she really was. now all of a sudden you’re in an empty cabin log “dont be alarmed but… im hungry- can i get a bite? just a little. i promise i’ll only drink a little” you thought this was a big ass lie but let her bite you :( she’s so hungry.

her sharp fangs pierce into your neck, moaning at how good you taste. she couldn’t help but to embrace you as she was savouring your blood. the pain only lasted for a mere second before your body was engulfed in warmth, you thought that maybe you were gonna pass out but you were fine. i guess she figured out how nervous you were, your body tense and everything?!?2)2! she pulled back “i’m sorry did it hurt too much? it’s okay i can make it feel better” kissing your neck and whispering how happy you made her “i’ll return the favour” trailing bloody kisses from your neck down, to your collarbone and further down. ngl you thought it was pretty hot at how messy and how inexperienced she was at this. her hands would be all over you at first, on your tits mostly playing with them through you clothes “feel any good…? c-can i still taste you?” you nod hesitantly, but it did feel good though!

maybe because you were her first victim, she didn’t know what in the hells she was doing :,( obviously as a new vampire spawn she was trying her very best to make you feel good after she fed off of you. ripping your clothes off with ease, she wasted no time :] she made sure that every inch or your body felt good— leaving bloody stains wherver she kissed you, yes shes a messy eater 😭 the blood is all over her mouth leave her be-

after a long time of being kissed and having your boobs played with, she finally takes off your panties- soaked ofc! and blushes at you, looking up with her darkened puppy eyes,, awww how cute ;; you give her a slow nod and she just goes for it. so desperate and needy to make you feel good, she wouldn’t be lying if biting you made her so turned on. she fr eats you out like you were her last ever meal on earth 😊 like she gets so pussy drunk, lapping up all your juices, sucking and licking your clit so harshly earning a whimper from you.

she just thinks you taste so good,, your blood, your pussy? her heads spinning from your scent,, ouh girl she’s feeling dizzy, but that only drives her more insane. gripping onto your thighs, digging her nails into them. she wants more- moaning loudly as she continues to eat you out vigorously, her tongue circling around your clit so fast that it brings you to tears- are you sure she’s inexperienced bc this feels way too good “mmmhf is.. is this good? does your pussy feel good pretty girl?” that sentence alone brings you towards your climax- thighs squeezing together, essentially trapping her inbetween your legs 🫣🫣

so know if you’re ever feeling bored, you’d know where to go to find a certain specific desperate vampire waiting for you in the log cabins at 3am 🤩

IGNORE IF I MADE ANY MISTAKES PLEEKKKK 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[doll-for-you-11]

This is a long one...

Its the middle of the night. 2 or 3am. Im bored and horny and its gotten to the point I'd do anything anyone told me to do.

I get a random DM some twisted message about wishing he could rape me in the middle of the street while all of my neighbors film it.

My cunt is dripping and none of the normal porn is getting me there. I decide to do something about it.

I strip naked. My pussy dripping down my thighs, I walk outside. My street only has one light, its dark and silent as I walk out to it. Sitting under the light, I close my eyes. Squeezing my tits, rolling my nipples, moaning softly as i trail a hand to my soaked cunt.

Its so wet I can hear it before Ive even pressed a finger inside. Knowing im outside, naked, where anyone could find me is making me hornier than ive ever been.

Just rubbing my slick around the outside of my hole, my clit throbbing, desperate to be touched. More and more slick seeping out, staining the pavement under me.

I slowly push a finger in, moaning at the feeling. My eyes still closed. I begin to pump in and out. Slowly but as deep as I can. Adding a second finger. All I can hear is the noise of my cunt gushing around them as I finger fuck myself in the street.

Just as I'm about to reach down and rub my clit as well, panting and moaning I dont hear the footsteps behind me.

My mouth hanging open, my head tilted back, Im about to cum when Im suddenly choking. My eyes fly open to see a blur of denim as a cock is forced down my throat. He holds the back of my head, forcing himself balls deep as I gag. Trying desperately to push him away but hes too strong.

He begins to skull fuck me. Ruthlessly ramming into my throat, using my hair to push and pull my head onto his cock. Forcing his full length to fill my windpipe with each thrust.

I try to focus and breathe through my nose. Just as I get the hang of it to keep myself breathing i feel the toe of his boot press roughly into my cunt. My legs spread around him, he pushes his foot against me. My clit rubbing against it painfully as he forcefully takes my mouth.

After what feels like forever he rips his cock from my throat, throwing me to the ground.

Dizzy, i try to catch my breath but before i can he's already on top of me, flipping me onto my stomach and kneeling on the small of my back. He pulls my wrists behind me and I feel something cold, wire maybe, being bound around them from wrist to elbow. Pinning them against my back, my shoulders pulled together painfully.

I feel his weight shift back so he's sitting over my knees. A hand forces its way between my thighs, thick fingers prodding against my fuck hole. I cant help but moan as two stretch my tight cunt. They feel so much bigger inside than mine did.

He grunts, his other hand reaching up and around my neck. Choking me as he fucks me with his fingers.

I still havent seen his face. I gasp as he hits a spot inside me I could never reach myself.

How have I gotten here? So desperate to feel something new I put myself in this situation. I went outside, naked to fuck myself like a pathetic whore. I wanted this. Part of me hoped this would happen. Id be manhandled and used out in the street like a prostitute.

But no, im worse. Im letting him do this for free. I wanted him to take me against my will. I wanted him to ruin me.

His hand on my neck gets tighter, he adds another finger. The stretch hurts but I like it. Its not long before I feel it building, my body tenses and just as Im about to cum, he stops. I whine like a bitch in heat. Waiting for him to flip me over and beat me or fill me with his cock but it doesn't come.

My arms are still bound but as I roll over I see no one. He got me to the edge and then left me face down on the pavement.

I wait a bit longer, but he doesn't come back. I force myself to get up and walk home. Spend the rest of the night getting the wire off my arms.

I look in the mirror, spit and tears coating my face, my body dirty and scraped from the ground. My cunt dripping down my legs. Im nothing but a disgusting whore. And all I care about is that I didn't get more.

I call out of work, spending the entire day fucking myself. Using every toy I have, the shower head, flogging my own cunt, but nothing is enough. I need him to use me again.

The next night I do it again. 2am, I strip naked and go out to sit under the street lamp. I sit on my hands and knees, ass in the air for what feels like hours, but he never comes.

The sun is rising by the time I give up and return home. It goes on like this for the next week. Fucking myself all day and sitting ready to be taken all night but it never happens.

Im exhausted by now, my body so desperate to be fucked that I cant take it. I try again, but this time the exhaustion takes over and I pass out.

I don't know how long I'm out, but I wake up tied to the lamp post, my tits being beat with a cane. I scream, but my mind is beyond excited. He finally came back. He's going to use me!

My cunt is dripping and ny desperation clouds the pain. I begin moaning as he canes my tits. He hits them harder and the pain makes me moan louder. I hear the cane drop as he straddles me and forces his cock into my mouth. Face fucking me again, slamming my head into the post im tied to.

I gag and choke around him, but my pussy only drips more. He pulls out, pumping himself, coating my face and tits in thick ropes of cum and I finally see his cock.

He's massive. So big I dont understand how he fit in my mouth. As I gape at his cock I hear him chuckle. He kneels down so we're face to face. "It only fit because I wasn't hard when I started. Id say you're in for a painful fuck, but you're such a little pain slut I bet youll love it." He slaps me accross the face.

"What kind of disgusting whore fucks herself in the street? Hmm? The kind that moans when shes having her slutty milk bags caned? The kind that's so desperate for my cock she sits out her every night with her ass in the air waiting to get railed? The kind thats so desperate to cum she hasnt slept in a week because shes been abusing her cunt all day every day?" He talks to me like a dumb puppy, pouting as he holds my chin, letting me know he's been watching me all week, letting me degrade myself for him.

"Tell me what you want my little rape whore" he coos, groping my bruised tits, making me wince and moan.

"I...I want you to make me cum" I moan quietly, grinding my hips, trying to press my legs together.

"You wanna cum?" He laughs. He bends my legs up, grabbing more rope and tying my legs bent and spread. My dripping, red cunt open on display for him.

"You dont get to cum. Whores dont get to cum. And youre a whore" he slaps my clit roughly, making my body jolt.

"See, if youd been a good girl and stayed inside. Not come back out here like a desperate little cumdump. I would have broken in, raped you properly, filled that little pussy up with my cum, and we both would have been happy" he says continuing to slap and flick my cunt.

"But you just had to be a disgusting dirty depraved little cunt" he says Slapping me accross the face to push each word "and dirty cunts dont get to feel pleasure, though you're so disgusting even hurting you brings you pleasure so Im not sure how to punish a slut like you"

The way he says it sounds like he's used to situations like these. It makes me wonder how many times he's done this. Raped and tortured little sluts on the street. It seems so natural to him. Tying me to a light post and abusing me.

The thought makes me moan and he laughs again. He stands and begins to walk away and I panic. He can't leave me without using me again!

"Please no! Please! I need you to rape me! I need you to use me! I dont care if I cum, but please I need your cock!! Ive been dreaming of it for the last week!"

I yell after him, whining and crying pathetically. He turns, laughing at me. "You really are pathetic. Ive never met such a disgusting cunt. I told you you werent cumming. But I cant pass up abusing a bitch like you. Sit tight my little whore, ill be right back."

I watch as he walks around the corner. A few minutes pass and a truck pulls up, the headlights blinding me as I hear the door open and he's standing in front of me with a duffle bag.

He opens it, digging around before pulling a cattle prod from it. My eyes go wide and I begin to shake my head, trying to get away but I can't move an inch the way im bound. He pulls out a self fucking dildo and some duct tape. Taping in in my mouth and turning it on, making me gag around it unable to scream as he turns on the cattle prod.

He leans close "im going to show you something even a pain slut like you wont moan about. Im going to make you regret asking for this, and Im going to make sure you dont enjoy one second of my cock when I get around to fucking you"

With that he presses the prod to my left nipple, the shock hurts so bad my whole body tenses in pain and before i can come down he hits the right one. Spit pours down my chin as the dildo fucks my throat, mixing with tears and staining my bruised tits.

He laughs as he shocks my tits and stomach, he hits my thighs and the bottoms of my feet. Telling me I should be thanking him for this. I asked for it.

Then he shoves it deep into my spread pussy. He makes sure to hit my clit and get it right in my fuck hole. Tears are pouring, im crying so hard im gagging harder than I ever have before.

He laughs as he holds it to my cunt, shocking over and over as my eyes roll back. I black out from the pain only to be smacked across the face hard enough to make me dizzy.

He throws the prod down, leaning down and grabbing my throat, I know he can feel the dildo as he squeezes. "You dont get to pass out cunt! Youre going to feel everything I do to you" he lets go and slaps me again before turning back to his bag.

The street light and his headlights create a spotlight over me in the darkness. My spread open abused body clear to see to anyone that looked out their windows. The later it gets the more cars I hear on the main road. I wonder if anyone will drive by and help me, or help him.

He comes back to me with a knife and laughs as i clench my eyes closed, but he only cuts my binds. My body so sore I cant try and run and he drags me by my hair onto all fours. Pressing my face to the ground, dildo still fucking my throat. He straddles my shoulders, facing my ass. His weight pushing my face and tits flat to the ground.

I feel something rough brush over my pussy lips, it feels like a course brush. "Dirty little whores need to be cleaned" he says, i can hear the grin as he speaks. "What better to clean you with than a toilet brush?"

My eyes widen as I try to struggle but I can't move as he begins shoving it up my cunt. My eyes water as he starts fucking my already abused cunt with the course brush.

He holds the handle with both hands, aggressively ripping it in and out of my cunt as he laughs. Calling me a disgusting whore that needs cleansing. By the time he stops I feel more than just slick on my thighs.

But he doesn't get off of me. Instead he says "next hole" and roughly does the same to my ass.

This time I do black out from the pain. I just can't take it. I dont know how long he rapes my ass for but when i wake up again he's standing over me with the cane, beating my ass black and blue.

He leans down pulling me to my knees by my hair and growling in my ear "i think its finally time to give you what you wanted"

Im so broken I can't focus on his words, my body limp for his control and he bends me over again and lines his cock up with my ruined pussy.

Despite the pain I sigh at the feeling. His cock fills my pussy so well. He rams into me as a bruising pace. It feels like he's going forever when he finally pulls me up, groping my tits and biting my neck, his cum exploding against my cervix. But again, just as im about to cum, he pulls out , throwing me to the ground.

"I told you, dirty rape cunts dont get to cum" he kicks my pussy and steps on my tits before dragging me down the street. He stops at my house and begins to tie me to the gate. Tits bound, arms behind my back and legs spread. He blindfolds me and leaves the dildo taped in my throat. I feel something long and wooden shoved up my ass, i assume it a broom or a rake and he slaps me again, something warm soaking my hair, his piss, as he slaps me with his cock and leaves.

I can see the light through the blindfold as the sun rises, i hear cars slow down as they pass me. People walk by taking pictures, playing with me. I couldn't tell you how long I was there before a car pulled up and i was cut down and loaded into it. Fucked mercilessly in the backseat.

I pass out before we stop but when I wake up im chained to a pipe in a bathroom, covered in cum and piss. A sign on the door says "Free for all Rape Whore". I guess this is my life now.

And all I can think is Thank you, to the man who showed me what a disgusting slut I was that first night.

[myfictionaldreams]

Duke, Duchess and Knights // Mafia!Stucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: You get so lost in the fantasy dream that when it turns into a nightmare, you're not sure what reality is when you wake up screaming.

Requested by: @proseraphine - im sorry it's not exactly what you requested but I hope you like it regardless!

Tags: polyamory, angst, fluff, nightmares, panick attack, crying, mentions of murder, fantasy au, comfort

Words: 2.1 k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

There’s a mixture of muffled, panicked voices as you drift between sleep and reality.

“Doll, wake up! You’re just dreaming; listen to me, you need to wake up!”. The voice shouting for you to wake up sounded recognisable, but something more high-pitched was covering the sound of the voice you wanted to drift further towards. Someone was screaming, terrifyingly loud and shrill, and it took a couple of breaths to realise that it was you who sounded so frightened and fearful.

Upon this realisation, the unconscious world you’d been trapped in disappeared as you came back to full consciousness, attempting to sit bolt upright but found that you were being held up already. With the seconds it took for your eyes to dart around at your surroundings, you became aware of a few things.

One that Bucky was currently sitting in the middle of the bed with you between his legs, your head resting back against his shoulders and back against his chest as he wrapped his strong arms around your body to keep you in position. Two, that Steve was kneeling in front of you, his eyes so fearfully large and face drained of any colour as he reached to cup your face.

Everything felt incredibly disorienting; the room was spinning, and dark patches were edging around your eyesight. Not only that, but you were in uncomfortable pain, specifically in the centre of your chest and throat, presumably from the screaming you’d been doing for god-knows how long. There also seemed to be an unsettling amount of fluids coating your face and body, and only then did you realise that you were also crying hysterically.

“Baby, look at me. I need you to listen to me and take a deep breath, " Steve instructs, panic coating every word he speaks, only adding to your fear that something is incredibly wrong.

You try, though. Try to open your mouth to take a breath, but it felt like someone was wrapping their hands around your lungs so that you couldn’t draw a breath. The lack of air added to your disorientation and dizziness, feeling like you were trapped in your own body.

The hands around your face tightened to bring your attention back to Steve as he rolled his shoulders and attempted to relax his facial features to look as calm as possible. “Keep looking at me, Sweetheart. Now, I want you to try again and take a deep breath, slowly, like this” he then proceeds to take a deep, slow breath through his nose and out of his mouth.

You try and copy but still find it a struggle to open your lungs as your body seems to be still trapped within the state of fear caused by your nightmare. A chaste kiss to the side of your head captures your attention as a different voice begins to talk from behind, “It’s okay. I’ve got you, Mama. Breath in nice and slow and out through your mouth”, Bucky repeats Steve instructions as he continued to hold you. Only then did you realise that he was forcing his chest to move up and down to mimic the slow breathing, giving you something to ground yourself to and copy the movements yourself.

The next breath that you take is shaky but enough to fill your lungs that you can release a desperate sob.

“That’s good, really good. But I need you to do it a few more times for me. That’s it, breathe in again and out slowly, " Steve instructs, giving you a soft smile that would have melted your heart in any other circumstance.

Each breath had the tightness easing in your chest as you began to relax into Bucky’s hold until you could breathe without the fear of becoming trapped by a panic attack. However, as your breathing eased, this gave you the energy to pathetically sob and weep, reaching to grip both Steve and Bucky’s arms, needing to feel their warmth and touch.

“Shhh, it’s ok, we’re here. We aren’t going anywhere. You’re safe, Baby girl”, Steve spoke delicately, his voice audible over a whisper as he made you feel safe in the room with him and Bucky.

“I- I- Thought- It felt so real-” you choke on the words tumbling out. Everything was so intense and overwhelming that even though you knew you weren’t in any danger, the hysterics continued. Bucky rocked his body gently to try to calm you down as Steve’s thumbs attempted to catch the endless flow of tears, but eventually, his hands were soaked, and he used the corner of the blanket on the bed to dry your face.

“Try to relax for us. Whatever you dreamt about wasn’t real; none of it was true. You’re safe with me and Steve, and you always will be”, Bucky reassures as he pulls your body closer to his so you are in a tight cocoon of his arms around your waist.

Steve inches forward as well, pressing his bare chest against your face and arms around the back of Bucky’s so that you are in a boyfriend's sandwich. The warmth surrounded every part of you, like they were human radiators, calming you down to the centre of your being. The hysterical sobs quieted enough that you were now only sniffling with hiccups, attempting to manage your emotions adequately to lean into them further.

Your eyes were sore and slightly swollen, and your throat was burning from the screaming and crying. It had been such a long time since a nightmare had rocked you to the very core like this; however, usually, it was due to something from your past, not the fantasy journey your unconscious mind seemed to take you to.

“It’s so stupid”, you admit after a couple of silent minutes, nuzzling your aching face into the shoulder of Steve, savouring further his warmth and muscles that flexed at the action.

Steve leans back slightly but only to kiss your temple carefully, “What’s stupid?” he asks.

“My dream or, I guess, my nightmare. Whatever it was, it was so stupid to overreact the way I have, but it just felt so real”.

Bucky shifted the arms around your waist so his metal fingers interlocked with your smaller hand, cradling it and drawing circles in your palm with his thumb. “Doll, whatever your nightmare was about, it’s not stupid, especially to have frightened you this much. You know we’ll always be here for you, whether you want to tell us what happened or not. But, from my personal experiences with nightmares, it might feel better to talk to someone”.

You sigh, knowing he was right and you’d had to do this exact sort of care with him on multiple occasions when he had nightmares from his past as an assassin. Taking a steading breath and letting the air out slowly through your mouth, you tilted your upper body to look up and between your two boyfriends to begin explaining your dream.

“You both…died. I mean- we all died in the nightmare, but I had to watch you both die first” As you remembered the horror of seeing the light leave Steve and Bucky’s eyes, a tear escaped yours, landing on Bucky’s arm. “I only woke up from the nightmare because I died in the dream and could hear you both shouting. I thought it was some sort of weird afterlife that I’d fallen into”.

Steve dips his face lower to meet yours, his nose nudging the very tip of yours, drawing a smile to your lips at the soft touch. “That’s not stupid at all. It was all just a dream; we’re very much still alive. Don’t worry about that, Sweetheart”.

Sighing, you close your eyes for a moment, not because of the sadness quickly easing away from your tense limbs but because you remembered the rest of your dream. Each of your cheeks warmed in embarrassment as you avoided looking either of them in the eye. “It’s not the death that was the stupid part; it was just the part that scared me the most. I was quite enjoying the rest of the dream before all of the death, but you’re going to think it’s silly2.

Steve and Bucky share a confused look between themselves. “Anything you tell us won’t be silly or stupid. You’ve seen what Stevie here draws in his spare time.  Can’t be more silly than monkeys riding on unicycles.” Bucky tries to cheer you up, and it works as you giggle against his chest as Steve gives his boyfriend a deadpan head tilt.

As you look between the blonde and brunette Mafia men, you already know you will regret telling them. “Promise me that you won’t laugh at me”.

“Baby, there’s no way I’m laughing at anything you say, especially after just watching you nearly have a panic attack”, Steve concludes as Bucky nods with his words.

Trying to breathe away the tension in your body, you begin to tell them the intricate details of your dream that consequently shifted to your worst nightmare. It was a land you’d never heard of before, thick with orange-shaded trees as Autumn drew in. You were in a ridiculously lavish dress. Steve sat beside you in his golden attire as the carriage rocked with the uneven path.

You were the Duchess of the land whilst Steve was the Duke. The two of you were targets for many dark forces, which was where Bucky came into the dream, saving you both on your travels as attackers went for the carriage. Thankfully, Bucky, a local knight, had saved the two of you, and eventually, as the dream spilt through snippets of a relationship, the duo became a trio. It was all whimsical and light-hearted as it seemed to parallel your life with both of them, but it was in this fantasy universe.

The dream, however, started to darken into a nightmare as the three of you were captured by the forces who had been seeking to find you and Steve. “I don’t know, it was like some sort of fantasy novel in my head, and it was all so peaceful, but then everything changed so quickly. I had to watch you both be killed by Bucky’s own sword, which then was shoved into my chest just before I woke up”.

As you recalled their fictional deaths, you visibly shook as fear began to spark through your body once more. Steve moved first, kissing your cheek a few times to help keep that anxiety away, “Well, it was all just a dream, nothing to be frightened of, Sweetheart. And that wasn’t stupid or stilly, was it, Bucky?” Steve asks his boyfriend with a glare.

You look up, confused by the negative look from Steve, only to find Bucky holding in a laugh as he nods but then cracks, releasing a light-hearted laugh. You release the hold on his hand but only so you can swat at his shoulder, even more embarrassed than before as you look towards the wall, away from them both.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, it’s just - what kind of an idiot gets killed by his own sword?” Bucky asks, laughing and causing you to sway on the bed as his chest vibrates with his chuckles.

Despite the embarrassment, you couldn’t help the smile teasing your lips, “You told me you wouldn’t laugh!”

“I’m sorry; I promise I’ll stop laughing; just give me time to process this all”. Taking a deep breath, Bucky attempts to compose himself, but as soon as you both catch eye contact again, the three of you laugh at the entire situation.

“At least we know Bucky’s a dumbass in this world and your dreams”, Steve casually mentions as he kisses beneath your jaw.

“Hey! At least I had a sword; your lazy ass still needed saving, even in her dreams. What does that say about you?” Bucky counters, making you laugh even harder and cling to both men.

“For two of the most powerful people in Brooklyn, you really are just a couple of goofballs”, you say whilst lovingly cupping both of their faces, kissing each of them in turn. “Thank you for helping me through my panic attack”.

“You’re most welcome, your royal duchess. Your noble knight will always be here to protect you”, Bucky joked in an emphasised lower tone that only caused you to laugh harder.

Steve rolls his eyes, but you can see his attempts at trying to hide his smile as he looks between Bucky and you. “I do think we need to stop watching Game of Thrones before bed”.

[starsnsparkl3s]

broken promises

cw: heavy mentions of death and suicidal thoughts, angst, based on this scene from greys anatomy with no context

"when are you going to stop suggesting that im suicidal?"

the question sounds also bizarre coming out of your lips. you and al haitham have been going back and forth about your results from the impromptu search nahida and the esteemed traveler did, along with paimon. you were a suspect in a dream that needed to be destroyed immediately, however, what they saw was worse than the dream that was the main goal.

dark images flickered around them, unlike all the previous dreams, full of emotions and color. hallucinations of various shades of red surrounded them, it felt as if they were being suffocated from being in your head to begin with. of course, for your own health, they told your husband, al haitham, about the pictures they saw. he tried talking to you about it, which resulted in the conflict in front of you now.

he took your weapon away from you, the weapon you used to protect sumeru, not caring if you put your life on the line. it was your job after all, but not even cyno was that careless.

"when you start acting like someone who wants to be alive."

your eyebrow raised, scoffing. as much as you loved al haitham, he really was insufferable sometimes and moments like this are were you wished he wasn't so stubborn. however, you were stubborn as well.

"give me my weapon back."

"why?”

" because im not suicidal and if you believe that, you’re wrong. "

now it was his turn to scoff. he put his hand on his hip and stared at you. the person he fell in love with, void of sentiment and passion. you still looked as lovely as the first time he met you but now you looked just as dead as carcasses he'll see in the desert. a few seconds pass before he responds.

"what happened last year when you fell in the water?”

your blood ran cold as the words left his mouth. last year you were trying to save a group of kids that were playing in one of the construction sites, which wasn't sturdy whatsoever. as you saved all the kids, one by one, the wood holding up the base of the building fell into the water. one of the kids started crying, saying how they needed to go in the water to get their photograph.

it was a photograph of them and their parents, who apparently passed. and you went in there. without a second thought. the water pricked your skin because of how cold it was, but you still went in and got that photograph. after you got out, soaked with the picture still in tack, the kids thanked you profusely and left. you passed out soon after, the hypothermia and the water pressure almost taking you out. al haitham wasn't pleased but nothing he could say could ever change your mind.

"i almost drowned! you think i did that for kicks?”

"you went in a body of water that was CLEARLY too cold and too deep for you to handle.”

"i was trying to save his picture!”

your head pounded with nothing. you were frustrated of course, but your body didn't feel anything. you couldn't tell that your headache was a migraine, it just felt, heavy.

"why is it, that every person there, even cyno, had the sense to leave and run from the danger besides you?”

you went to quip back but he continued.

"you know, people run away from this line between life and death. you just seem to stand on it as if it's a tightrope in the middle of the hurricane, waiting for it to push you one way or the other.”

you crossed your arms. you'd hate to admit it, but he was right. you didn't see an actual purpose into living besides protecting sumeru. you never had an urge to run for safety

"you're careless with your life. you're not trying to kill yourself, but you're careless."

your eyes filled with tears with his words. your head felt heavy and dizzy, your vision going in and out like a bad '50s movie. your body shook in some emotion you couldn't even tell at this point. you knew he wanted to help and he was worried, al haitham has always been like this. pushy and unforgiving with hid care.

“i am NOT carele-!”

“not even cyno would pull the shit you do. not even the TRAVELER THEMSELVES, would pull the shit you do. all three of you do implausible nonsense warranting such-”

“I DO IT FOR THE PEOPLE OF SUMERU,” your voice softening from the sudden uproar as the next few words leave your mouth, “…and you know that al haitham.”

his heart feels like it got chipped with one of liyue’s finest pickaxes. strong enough to break the outside but careful enough to preserve the inside. his voice wavers, but his next words make the tears from your eyes fall harder.

“no, you do it for yourself. you do it just for the chance of losing your life. just for the off chance, that you get caught in the storm and you die with a purpose.”

an: im back!!!!!!! ignore how bad this is i finished it at 5am so i had something for you guys…. apologies!

[honeyhotteoks]

Okay I'm 5'7 too so thank you for your detailed description of the members and I'm not surprised but kinda am at the same time about their appearance??

Low-key love seeing all the live content but also feel left out as an Aussie atiny BUT I'm seeing skz in October so I'm excited for that!!

Speaking of their appearance, the members of skz are a lot more muscular in person than how they look.

I was expecting them to be skinny and boney but they all look incredibly strong and fit-even Han and Felix-

Han actually looks slightly more buff and muscly then Felix which surprised me and Lee Know is just as defined and muscular as Changbin which no one talks about.

Anyway- yunho brain rot.

I was listening to the audiobook of haunting Adeline because I finally caved in from the TikTok influence and my friend telling me how sexy the novel is.

Idk if it's because I'm going to therapy or I'm too old but I thought it was over-hyped-

I did love how the author described the themes of fear and stalking because when I did get tense when she'd leave the room, come back and there would be a 🌹 on the counter.

BUT I did get delulu and I was reading some scenes where zade is just consumed with Adeline and I was gasping 'like omg yunho could be like this' because his natal chart indicates if he was psychotic and unhealed enough- could delve into stalking territory.

And yes okay- this shit is toxic and scary and awful in real life BUT LET ME FANTASISE FOR A SECOND!

What if yunho was that borderline toxic boyfriend that just CANT leave you alone??

Watches you from afar, sends you messages all day-

Somnophilia thought here-

You don't live with yunho but have given him a key and go to bed with no panties on b/c it's a common occurrence he'll drive over in the middle of the night b/c it's been too long since he's felt you under him and he has to ravish you.

You wake up to his tongue on you clit as he moans and breathes your scent in which eventually leads to you making love with him as he virtually suffocates you with his body and words?

You're mine, you're not leaving me, I'm destined to be with you, on top of you, inside you, I can't breathe w/o you.

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!

MY FRIEND THE WAY YOU ALWAYS SERVE UP THE GREATEST IMAGERY OF ALL TIME TO RUIN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all........ love that you're seeing skz!!! i'm hoping if and when they announce tour dates for north america next year there's a chance for me to see them

as far as your yunho brainrot goes................. IM DIZZY. i love your natal chart content, and i've been so obsessed with the idea of yunho being like perfect boyfriend great guy................but................there's that part of him that just can't help being possessive and having this sense of ownership over his partner.

i was just actually reading a fic for another fandom along the lines of what you're describing and i was like YUNHO YUNHO YUNHO the whole time. i might write my own version but......... brainrot under the cut

so i think there's two yunho possibilities that i love within this like possessive/stalker/dubcon realm, and one is straight up like suuuuuper healthy relationship but they play with CNC in intense ways and do full on like roleplay OR my current favorite brainrot which aligns with your idea and the fic i was just reading which is like...... desperately obsessed desperately in love fully fixated on reader not leaving him because he just has to consume her fully at all times.

he and reader have been dating for a while and he's honestly the 10/10 perfect boyfriend (she thinks) only.... she knows he gets a little funny about certain things. when other guys talk to her he just has to have his hands on her, and when he worries about her he really worries, almost too much. he gets jealous about the funniest little things, and he's always nervous about change, he just doesn't want anything to burst their little bubble so much so that he's controlling the situation a little too much. but.... she also loves him, and he hasn't really stepped over the line of toxic.......... until she catches him stealing a pair of her panties and realizes his phone is full of pictures of her.

and it starts off like an argument, until he starts to confess his real fantasies. and he knows it might be too much, but she makes him so insane it's like he can't help himself. and the longer he talks about all of those fantasies, confessing how fucked he knows it is and how she really could do better, she just keeps getting more and more turned on. and it's shocking to her too, but she really fucking likes it. she's never had someone take care of her, really and truly take care of everything and just let her exist without having to make all the decisions or take control, and he's just offering it all to her on a platter she just has to let him take it.

and so while he thinks revealing his desires is about to break them up, and he's losing his fucking mind about it, she's ready to double down hard on the relationship and on what they do behind closed doors. so she shocks him when she not only agrees for more but asks for more.

and so that's when she gives him the key, that's when she tells him that he's allowed to come in whenever he wants. to touch her whenever he wants. she wants it all, but all she asks in exchange is that he stops hiding his desires from her, because that's what was driving the wedge between them. he's patient about using the new found control though, because he doesn't know what that will do for their relationship and she doesn't necessarily know what she's allowing him to do..... he can't smother her ALL at once.

but that changes when she falls asleep one night before texting him goodnight, she's been stressed and worn thin and he's not had the opportunity to see her let alone take care of her..... and he's feeling a little neglected too. and he waits a couple of hours for a response, but finally he decides it's time to use the key. so he drives over, slips in quietly, and finds her sound asleep, phone still clutched in her fingers and a video looping on repeat.

he's hard in a second, desperate in a second, and he has to do something about it. so he starts off slow, peeing off her clothes and gently teasing her nipples, getting a blush in her cheeks and making her perfectly hot and receptive to his tongue teasing her sweet clit.

she’s been so tired lately that she’s well and truly out, and she doesn’t really wake up until he’s teasing her wet cunt with his cock, not quite fucking her yet but everything in between. and when she wakes it’s mid-orgasm and desperate for more, and she's aware that something feels different but she just woke up and she's caught between realizing yunho is actually here and pushing himself inside her and thinking it might be a dream.

but he's whispering to her, clutching her close and begging her to just let him have this.... and of course she will, she agreed, but as she comes more and more into consciousness the feeling of him and his words start to make sense. he’s not wearing a condom for the first time ever, and that's not something they've ever agreed on going without before. she's just trying to figure out what is going on but he's fucking into her harder and deeper than before, with a whimpering need on his lips that makes her body curl up in pleasure and she knows she should stop him but truthfully she doesn't want to.

and while she clings to him, yunho's delirious. the feeling of having her completely, of knowing he's the only person who's ever been inside her fully with nothing between them, of knowing that the risk might be worth it. his mind starts to spin until he's a babbling mess, telling her he's going to leave a piece of himself behind for her, make them whole, make sure she can never ever leave.

and even though she knows it's a terrible idea, a decision only made in the middle of sex because it feels good, she finds herself clutching him closer, goading him on. no one has ever wanted her quite like he does and it makes her want to throw everything she's ever cared about right out the window if it means he'll look at her like this forever.

ANYWAYS now i have to write full lowkey toxic possessive yunho with a reader who is down to be fully consumed by him like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[withlove-angel]

A little fluffy short as im working in a Luffy yandere one :)

My cute tomato

"Sanji?" Y/n ask entering the ship kitchen

Sanji looked up from the fridge, with a startled look. He wasn't used to having people walk in the kitchen after midnight "Angel? What are you doing here?" In truth, he had hoped that he were just imagining things, that he were just seeing an illusion or hearing sounds that weren't there. Unfortunately, once he saw her, he had to accept that his eyes hadn't mislead him.

"Its everything okay?" She walk closer to him, worried, she could easily read the cook.

He was caught completely off guard by y/n’s question. He was cooking, at 2 am. It was safe to say that he had been discovered. Sanji turned around slowly, wanting to assess the situation better. She was walking towards him, trying to get a better look at him. In the dim light of the kitchen, her concern was clearly visible. Sanji could smell the fragrance of her hair, like a pleasant breeze, as she drew closer to him. "Couldn't sleep again? Nightmares?" She ask softly Sanji’s eyebrows furrowed, a sign of confusion. Why was y/n awake at this ungodly hour? Surely, she should be in bed? “Y-yes,” he finally nodded, his eyes darting towards her. He was a little surprised that she had noticed, and couldn’t help but wonder if that meant that she knew what was going on. She wrap her arms around his neck, huging him soft "what are you making?" She say curious looking at the counter with a lot of ingredients.

He blinked in surprise, unsure of what to do. He looked at her arms wrapped around his neck, slowly turning red as he struggled to say words. He glanced at the ingredients on the counter, unsure of how to answer her question. "Um... Nothing special?" he replied awkwardly, his words coming out jumbled as he tried to suppress his embarrassment. His cheeks burning from y/n's warm touch, Sanji looked down at the floor. She giggles "still shy about us dating?" His eyes widened at her words. He hadn’t expected a question like that in the middle of a midnight cooking session. “W-what!? No!” he protested. He shook his head, his face flushing even harder, his eyes fluttering as he felt all those emotions come to the surface once again. “I mean, yeah, maybe a bit.” With a sheepish grin, he looked away as the blush deepened.

She finds it adorable, she slowly kiss him on the cheeks "who would imagine Sanji, the men who flirted with all women, would be so embarrassed dating?" She couldn't help but tease him slightly.

He didn’t know how to explain to her that this situation was completely different from flirting with random women. He had always been confident and smooth when dealing with girls, but this time he was all giddy and awkward. The reason was because she was someone Sanji cared deeply about. The affection he felt for her made him act completely out of character. He was speechless. He felt like he was in a dream as y/n kept her arms around the back of his neck "Cat got your tongue?"

"Y-yes," Sanji nodded, still not finding his voice. He was stuck, feeling his senses swimming as she was so close to him. His eyes kept darting from her face to the ingredients on the counter, his heart fluttering. He felt dizzy, but he didn't dare move away from her. In a wave of suddenly confidence he pulls her for a sweet kiss, he felt his whole world come to a halt when sbe lean closer. In that moment, all he could think of was how beautiful and amazing she was. The only thing that mattered was her lips against his. He knew that he only had a few seconds before she backed away from the kiss. But those were the best seconds of Sanji's life. He closed his eyes, feeling y/n’s lips, the softness of her touch, and the way she held him in her arms. The feelings were almost inconceivable, causing him to blush profusely and cling to her even more.

______________________________________

"I could easily get used to your clingy behavior" she chuckles. Sanji hugging her, his face snuggle on her neck. He smiled, pressing himself more firmly against her body. With his face buried in her neck, he could feel her warm breath on his cheek. The feeling was intoxicating. “I... I can’t help it, my love. I just...” He started, only to find himself stumbling over his words. “I just really love you, and I’m just so happy that you’re in my arms. I'm lucky to have you.”

Hope you enjoyed

Please ♡ if you liked

[artdcnaldson]

ok…….. thinking about when the summer is like. full of tension. when nothing happens until months after u get to stanford. but like. thinking like patrick’s parents r going on vacation. his siblings aren’t there (idk he gives middle child. maybe his younger sister is at like. horse camp. or vacationing in sweden with her friends. his brother has a fiance and they’ve fucked off to boston or somewhere idk). the staff at his estate don’t gaf what you guys do tbh. so you guys get like a week to yourselves playing house. the boys making you dinner. raiding the wine cellar and getting drunk. dancing around. sigh…………

also like. his mom isn’t there to be suspicious of you three (his dad doesn’t pay attention.) and the staff doesn’t care enough to snitch when the parents aren’t there. so you guys all share a bed like every night they’re gone. wine drunk in bed the boys getting handsy with each other…… with you…. it’s fine you guys won’t remember in the morning!!!! skinny dipping with them…………… patrick throwing parties………………. etc…. sigh….

sorry this is just one big brain dump. please match my freak please please i’m begging pl

-🩰

AURRRRRR im stuck on the wine drunk part.

Popping open bottles older than you are and drinking them like water. Respectable people would put it in a glass, smell them, comment on the notes, swirl the glass, taste and savor. They’re worth more than a semester at school, after all.

But instead you’re just chugging straight from the bottle, letting them spill down your chins and stain your clothes. They leave your skin sticky. One bottle in and you’re already handsy and giggly. You’re in Art’s lap basically, playing with his hair, twisting his curls around your fingertips.

“You’re so pretty, Art,” you say, nuzzling against his jaw. “So, so, so pretty.” He’s flushed so red, from the wine, because of you, everything. Patrick pulls you backwards, so you’re sitting in Art’s lap but laying in his, peering up at him. He puts the wine bottle to your mouth and pours a swallow in and you grin.

“What about me?” He asks. His thumb grazes your bottom lip, wipes away the excess that spilled from your pretty, pretty mouth. He brings it to his lips and sucks the wine from it.

You blink, half-lidded and dizzy with the wine and with them. “Very pretty, Patrick.”

And maybe by the second bottle you’ve all got wandering hands— Fourth of July all over again. Art’s hands up your shirt, Patrick’s hands slipping beneath the waistband of your pants to rub and tease at your clit. You moan into Patrick’s mouth. He’s not kissing you, he’s just. His mouth is just on yours.

Art mouths at your throat, tugs at your nipples and you buck against Patrick’s fingers. They’re good— they’re so good. You feel so dizzy with them, so overwhelmed. Patrick’s finger slips inside of you so easy— you’re soaked and filled with need.

Art pulls up your shirt, mouths at your tits, sucks your nipple into his mouth and moans hot against your chest. Your fingers twist into his curls and you cum so easy for them— like they didn’t even have to try.

You don’t forget in the morning, none of you. But what’s there to say? What’s there to do, with his mom’s words still bouncing around your brain.

“I want to have a party,” patrick says as you eat contraband cereal his parents never would’ve allowed— sugary and gross in the best way. “Tonight.”

What Patrick wants, Patrick gets.

[tontita]

RED ROVER || SIMON RILEY X OC (READER)

hello! this is one of my first fics, im trying to promote it so more people read it. the first episode is already posted in my wattpad account @/giraisols ! id really appreciate if you checked it out.

link ! https://www.wattpad.com/story/361889325-%F0%9D%97%A5e%F0%9D%97%97-%F0%9D%97%A5ov%F0%9D%97%98r-%F0%9D%97%9A%F0%9D%97%9B%F0%9D%97%A2st

SLICE OF LIFE || ANGST || COMFORT || FLUFF || SMUT? || ENEMIES TO LOVERS || JEALOUSY || SLOW BURN || MLW || COLLEGE - UNIVERSITY AU

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀March, 2000. It wasn't easy starting university in the middle of the year, but Victoria Bathgate's hard work - including begging the dean in a trillion letters and studying her ass off — paid off well, allowing her to break a couple of rules. She's already fucking up what her anxiety made her think would be her whole future — or whatever would come after graduation. Victoria wore a mask of confidence only to hide the clumsiness hiding beneath, the same one that was now growing too big to hide anymore. She had her open injuries imminentfrom her heart being broken over and over again by any male that walked into her life. Moving from her dad to her friends to her boyfriends, she felt like she couldn't keep any precious gift that was given to her for too long.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Meanwhile, Simon Riley is in his second year of Criminal Justice. Being a relatively smart guy, the career he chose is one of the few things he ponders will make him the average person he thought he'd never become. Poltergeists from his past still haunt him up to these these days, having obvious outcomes on his behaviour. Side effects he often presented to others contained insomnia, headaches, trouble concentrating, addictions, agitation, numbness, dizziness, and occasionally, psychosis. The only thing keeping him sane was a pack or two of cigarettes per week, the nicotine working as an anchor for him to keep his mind in the real world. He knew damn well he was fucking up his lungs, but he couldn't care less about his future. He'll graduate and that's it. He'll settle down far away from his hometown, get a wife, and have kids if the universe lets him.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀It was clear his soul was still pained, haunted. He needs a solution as soon as possible. He can't find it, no matter where he looks or how hard he yearns for any sort of relief.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀But who'd expect he is about to live the most wonderful years of his life? The ones he'd cherish and long to live again for the rest of his life, when his trauma catches up to him?

.....

thank you sm for reading ! i might even post the 1st chapter here lololol

[oswednesday]

in middle school a friend who i had a dizzying crush on <-didnt know what that was at the time told me my art reminded her of invader zim, i didnt know what that was, as there would be periods of like THE TV IS EVIL AND SINFUL AND FOR BOYS ONLY so i didnt have access to one at the time and my online spaces i managed to cultivate under that condition was like more fashioned and music and older stuff based and iz had yet begun to trickle into every facet of things im saying this so you know i developed my tween art without his influence >x> <x < but when i got the chance i looked it up and was like oh dope but i should start with his works in order, so thats how i got to reading jthm which forever changed the way i form like sentences/jokes i think just sticky tack on my brain i think its interesting in that it opened my mind up to like "oh you can tell a story like this" like it can be autobiographical and not real At All, reality and truth and facts are elements you manipulate in a story, it can be non-sequitur yet purposeful which i think primed me to enjoy homestuck specially the parts a majority people seemed to check out at like intermission (that might sound wack to you but youre following me but thats an example of a self selected peer group, by and large people opinions of it are that its boring gfgfdgd scare to know isnt that!), act 1-2, mspaint/noir/hussie quest side stories, there was a whole bunch of stuff but she use to change her bra out in front of me like was i that obvious and she just liked the attention? or did she feel so comfortable around me it wasnt even a second thought? like oh its wednesday, wednesday doesnt mind in this oppressive rural christian atmosphere we exist in (like her one parent was a pastor for a branch of something known for being like you cant even read stuff its evil to read!), is it arrogant to think that maybe my vibes are just chill? but the point is this sort of wind up to a punch line where its like cutaway to violence is just imprinted into me

you: [im trying to help you get a straw in your mouth so you can drink this (really expired) soda from a glass bottle but its hard to drink upside down and youre wiggling all isnt helping any]

[hrghhhhhhhhh]

whats ur octane hcs, I wanna know what you think about the silly!! :)

MAYBE ITS NOT THE OPPORTUNE TIME TO ANSWER THIS ONE BUT we need a little lightness in our octane experiences i think LMAO. HCs: Octavio went to cotillion classes. More like he was forced to. At cotillion, middle school aged kids have to learn proper etiquette for all fancy gatherings, throwing and attending big events, how to eat at a fancy restaurant, and how to ballroom dance. he HATED every minute, until the ballroom part, and he learned how to swing dance. Its so energetic!! ALL that to say: He knows EXACTLY how to behave at galas, but god does he HATE them.

Octavio's ears are kinda fucked. He wears protection in games but never used to. Between Lifeline's loud Flyer Liars shows and his childhood fireworks shows, hes got a pretty big loss of hearing in one ear; this can make you dizzy and prone to vertigo, which fits in with all of his emotes where he gets pukey after bouncing around LMAO

His interpersonal skills are really really complex. He wants outside support and attention- but the second someone seems TOO interested he pulls away; He doesnt want someone to look at him too long and decide that he is actually stupid or boring or all the other awful things his dad-pa used to tell him. Hes got a lot to unpack there :C He started wering his mask and goggles moreoften, almost obsessively- because he started growing into his looks and he had the AWFUL realization: " I look a lot like my old man...." He doesn't like that. on go the face coverings.

I play with the HC of him being ace or aro, demi, etc. but he hates labels above ANYTHING. often when i write for him, and someone asks him if hes gay or bi, he just settles on somewhere between "Does that matter?" or "im just not straight, can we kiss already?" his romantic capabilities feel like theyre fun to play around with :> When i hc him as trans, I dont think he'd do top surgery, its too much down time for the recovery, so he has these massive doodle murals on his binders- MANY legends have signed 'em. <3

[masterkiszka]

English Coffee

Triggers: 18+ only!, some DA, name calling, etc.

Summary: Fionnuala has had a shit time, so when she gets screamed at by a customer it’s the last straw. She gets a job working with Greta Van Fleet on their tour as a costume design assistant. She has a rule for no relationships but what happens when she catches the eye of Josh? Will she go ahead and follow her heart, or will she refuse and lose everything she loves ?

Chapter 4.

Me and Jess were dancing along in the sidelines to the music. Hearing them in person was so different to listening to a recorded version, the music was dizzying with how good they were. None of them missing a beat, Josh’s voice was amazing, the way he sung was like he was an angel. His voice made me feel like I was on another level.

I was dancing along with Jess to Light My Love, Josh was prancing about the stage engaging with the crowd. I was admiring he beautiful he was under the stage lights when he walked over to me and passed me a rose, he winked and carried on back to the middle. I could feel my cheeks were bright red and my chest felt like it was caving in on itself. Jess was once again smirking at me and threw her hands up.

I was still standing in shock when I saw Sam and Jake smile at me from the stage, I ignored them and turned around. The temperature seemed to go up 10° backstage. What do I do? How am I meant to react to something like this?

My phone started ringing in my back pocket, I pulled it out and saw it was an unknown number again. I felt the blood drain from my cheeks, I told Jess I would be 2 minutes and made my way outside. It was now or never. Let’s find out who this dickhead is.

I took a deep breath, my hands shaking bringing the phone up to my ear. ‘Hello?’ I tried to sound tough, like I wasn’t going to collapse any second. ‘There she is.’ The voice drawled, Scottish accent thick on the other side. ‘Have you been ignoring me?’ Ezra asked. My heart was beating out my chest. ‘Yeah, I have been. Leave me alone Ezra, it’s been months there is nothing here with me for you anymore.’ It has started to rain, the cool drops soothing me. The guys would be done soon, I needed to get back inside.

‘Well that’s not true is it, I said we needed to talk so we will talk.’ He said, I could tell my comment had annoyed him. His voice coming out harsher than before. ‘What do we possibly need to talk to about?’ I snapped. I had started pacing now, trying to calm my voice so no one could hear. Jess will be wondering where I am. ‘Us. We need to talk about us. I miss you, darling. I want us back. I’m sorry for what happened.’ Here we go again, the apologies and the ‘Im sorry’s’. ‘Your apology means nothing, I’m not coming back. After everything that happened, please just leave me alone.’ My eyes were stinging, the start of tears building up. I had shed enough tears over this asshole, I shoved them back and took a deep breath. ‘You know you need me. You are nothing, no one will want you.’ He snapped, he was getting angry.

‘Ezra, we are done. Nothing you say hurts anymore.’ I was nearly shouting at this point, on edge that someone would hear. ‘We aren’t done my love. I’m not letting go yet, you know how sorry I am. You will come running back. You always do, you need me. You are nothing without me.’ His voice dripping with venom. He was taunting me, he wanted me to snap. ‘Please, just leave me alone.’ I begged, I could feel it all coming back. All the dependency, all the tears, the fear. How much I was convinced I loved him. ‘Never, darling. You’re mine.’ I hung up after that, letting the tears flow freely. The rain coming down heavier, I fell back against the wall and tried to calm my breathing.

How am I meant to go and face them now. I could feel my makeup down my face, my hair was a state. The concert had finished now, I could hear people leaving from the front. Taking one last deep breath I turned to open to the door, before I got a chance to it slammed open. Jess came out, ‘Flo! Oh god, what happened?’ She said rushing up to hug me, her accent coming out thick with worry. I let the tears flow now, my body racking with sobs while I clung onto her. ‘It was him. I answered and it was him.’ I said into her shoulder. I pulled away worried about the makeup on her, ‘Darling, why did you answer? I thought we agreed you wouldn’t.’ She said holding my face, ‘I needed to know. I needed to know if it was him.’ I said, I probably looked so pathetic with my makeup smeared down my face, wet hair stuck to the sides of my neck and crying over my abusive ex boyfriend who I answered the phone too.

‘Just leave me alone, I brought this on myself. I answered the phone, I knew what that would do. I’m pathetic, he’s right.’ I said shoving her hands off me. Immediately feeling terrible for treating her this way, she’s just trying to help and be my friend. I began to walk away, shoving the door open and beginning to walk back to our office to grab my stuff. ‘Flo! Wait!’ Jess said, running to catch up. ‘I’m just gonna get an uber back to the hotel and go to bed. Tell the guys some family stuff came up, and i’m sorry I can’t come. I’m sorry for putting this on you, I should have kept it to myself.’ I said, picking my bag up and walking out. Praying that I didn’t see the guys, especially Josh.

‘Flo, come on. Talk to me.’ Jess said following me. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t. I need to be alone. I’m so sorry for putting this on you, I’ll talk tomorrow.’ I said, walking out the back entrance and ordering an uber. I pulled up my front camera, and grabbed a tissue from my bag and started wiping off the state of my makeup from the rain.

My phone pinged from my back pocket and I pulled it out.

Josh: Hey, where did you go? I didn’t see you for last couple of songs.

Flo: Sorry, I have some family issues to deal with. I’m sure you guys smashed it!

Josh: Oh, okay. Well i’m here if you need me. Are you coming out later with us? I would love you to be there

Flo: I don’t think so Josh, sorry. See you tomorrow.

Josh: Oh, okay. See you tomorrow.

There were no pictures exchanged in this conversation, and that upset me a little bit.

I got into the uber, the driver kept the contact polite which I was thankful for. I’m sure he saw the state of me and didn’t want to get into anything.

My phone pinged with messages from Jess, begging me to please talk to her or let her come to my hotel room to talk. Josh stopped messaging me after that, which I was thankful for. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone, and wanted to wallow in my own self pity.

We pulled up to the hotel and I immediately headed straight for my room. When I got in I had a shower to wash away all the rain and makeup from my face, got into my pajamas and turned on some shitty romance movie from the tv. Brilliant, just what I need. More love to watch.

I knew how awkward it was going to be tomorrow with Jess, I was gonna need to apologise for snapping at her. This is what happens every time I was with Ezra, I would push people away and end up alone and crying. He got into my head and made me answer the phone, just to shoot me down into nothing and then try and worm back in while I was low.

Nothing happened for the rest of the evening, I phoned my mum to talk about how work was going and how great America was. Me and my mum have always had a great relationship, after Ezra we reconnected and have been close ever since. I can’t tell her what is going on here, not about Josh or Ezra getting back in contact. It would upset her too much to know how much he upset me tonight and that he is trying to get back into my life. It’s better to keep it secret from her.

I woke up the next morning, and checked my phone. Nothing from Ezra, thank god. A couple of texts from Jess, and one from Josh.

Jess: Call me in the morning please.

Don’t rush into work, I have it covered. Come when you’re ready. Please talk to me when you can, I’m worried.

Bring your bags we gotta head to the airport after 😊

Josh: Coffee this morning ?

I called Jess to tell her I was coming in after lunch, and that I would speak to her properly then, when everything had settled. Josh asking me for coffee. I have to agree, I cancelled last night and didn’t stay for the concert like I promised I would. I needed to apologise.

Flo: Sure, how does 9 work?

Josh: Perfect for me! I’ll meet you in the lobby?

Flo: Perfect, see you then 😊

I checked the time now, it was 8. That gives me an hour to look presentable and think of a story that I could tell him about my family.

I got in the shower and then chose my outfit, black wide leg cropped jeans with a vintage orange and black cardigan with wide sleeves. I tucked it in a bit to give me some shape, chucked on my converse and made my way to the lift. I was walking down the hallway when I heard a voice call my name. I turned around to see Josh, I smiled ‘Hiya! I was just going to the lift.’ I said gesturing to the lift in front of me. He looked at me confused, ‘Lift?’ I nodded, ‘Yeah the lift. What’s wrong ?’ He started to giggle. ‘That’s an elevator.’ I looked at him and smirked. ‘No, it’s a lift.’

He laughed loudly and pressed the button, ‘That’s a British phrase i’m guessing.’ He said looking at me while we stepped in, ‘I’m guessing so. How was it last night? Sorry I couldn’t come, family stuff.’ I said looking at him. I took in his outfit, classic chinos and a plain top. His hair was curled and styled on his head, any makeup from last night washed off and a plain jacket. Classic necklaces hanging off his neck.

‘Yeah it was good! Jess told me about the family issues, sorry about that. Sam and Danny got very drunk and have yet to wake from their slumber.’ He said, he looked me over and smiled. ‘You’re very chipper, no hangover ?’ I said, we reached the bottom floor and stepped out. ‘A little, but coffee will help. No work this morning?’ He said holding the door open for me while I stepped out the lobby. ‘Not till after lunch. Jess told me to come in late said she has some stuff to sort. I think we are going to Houston later after we finalise some designs, then we have a couple of days off. She said we can drive it ?’

He started leading me toward the car park, he placed his hand on my low back and I tensed up not expecting his light touch. ‘That’s perfect, love! Neither do I. Let’s spend the morning together. Yeah, it’s 4 hours I think.’ He said smiling wildly. He unlocked a car and opened the door for me. ‘Wait, you have a car here?’ I said thanking him and sliding in, he closed the door for me and came around the other way. ‘Yeah, I usually rent one if I’m close to home.’ He turned the car on and pulled out the car park.

‘So where are we going ?’ I asked while he passed me his phone and told me to choose the music. This made me smile, ‘Oh so the big rockstar trusts the his British costume designer to choose the music, shouldn’t I be privileged Mr Boss.’ I teased while choosing some Ghost Hounds. He looked over at me and smirked, ‘Mr Boss? Don’t tease me darling.’ Suddenly the nickname sounded sour coming from his mouth, I’m sure he saw my face drop when the last word left his beautiful lips. ‘Something wrong Flo?’ He asked looking at me fully now while we waited at some lights.

‘No, nothing. Where are we going?’ I said, trying to fake happiness. I didn’t want to be reminded of Ezra this morning, but here we were. He’s right, I was never going to leave him. ‘Oh, well I was thinking a classic American diner. Give you the full experience.’ He said smiling, it didn’t reach his eyes. I knew he could tell something had changed, the mood has shifted in the car. I can’t tell him, he doesn’t need to know.

‘Sounds perfect! I’ve always wanted American diner pancakes and the way they refill the coffee. Amazing.’ I said, it’s true I had always wanted that. ‘In England the best you get is a shitty little cafe, where the coffee is made from instant granules and some skinny pancakes with lemon and sugar.’ He giggled at my comment, ‘I love your accent, it’s adorable the way you pronounce things.’ He said smiling, he pulled into a car park for a diner and I got excited. ‘Oh, park the car Josh let’s go!’ I said pulling on his arm while he reversed into a space.

I had never thought seeing someone drive was attractive before until now. The little things like looking over his shoulder and turning the wheel was so sexy to me. I quickly shook the thoughts away and got out the car when he turned it off.

‘Slow down Flo. I’m coming.’ Josh said, as I tugged him along. He laughed the whole way into the diner, he chose a little booth in the back. It looked exactly like all the American films I had watched, I loved it. He passed me a menu from opposite me and stared reading. A waitress in the classic apron came over and asked us if we wanted coffee, I agreed and she turned my cup over and poured me a cup. When I took a sip I immediately sighed, ‘See Josh, this is good coffee. Nothing like English coffee, but it’s better than the pure sugar one Jess got me.’

Josh took a sip of his coffee, ‘Yeah, America does love their version of coffee.’ He said, ‘I’m getting some waffles, what about you love?’ He said leaning back in his seat. He looked so relaxed, it was weird to see him like this. Relaxed, in his element. I wanted to see it more, like what he would look like first thing in the morning waking up in bed. ‘Um, pancakes I think. With blueberries.’ I said quickly, trying to get the idea out to my head. He smiled and nodded, ‘We are travelling up tomorrow to Houston, Sam wants to spend another night and go to that bar again. So we will see you guys tomorrow, we can all do something.’ Josh said, I nodded. ‘Yeah, that sounds amazing. I’d love to spend a day walking around, the vibe is so different to England. A lot less pubs.’ I said, as the waitress came to take our order.

‘Yeah, we definitely don’t have a normal English pub here.’ Josh said smiling. ‘Are you okay, Flo? You don’t seem like yourself this morning.’ There it was, the question I had been dreading. I knew Josh wasn’t just going to beat around the bush, he doesn’t seem like the type. He was staring at me, like he was trying to analyse what was going on. I looked back at him, his face had shifted to concern at my lack of answer. I nodded quickly, taking a sip of coffee to stall for a moment. ‘Yep, absolutely fine.’ I spoke. He leaned forward in his seat, clasping his hands and staring at me. ‘No, I don’t think you are darling.’ I froze up again at the nickname and looked away, the intensity becoming too much. ‘There you go again, what’s happening?’

‘Why do you care Josh?’ I snapped, immediately regretting what I did. He widened his eyes and looked down, ‘Wow, I was just wondering if you’re okay Flo. I’m your friend, I care.’ He said looking back up. ‘No, you’re not. You’re my boss, it’s not your concern if I am okay.’ I said, the waitress brought our food over them. Breaking up the staring contest, I thanked her and smiled.

Josh sighed and dropped his head, when he looked back up I caught his eye. He looked beautiful with his earrings dangling off his ears and necklaces hitting the table gently from swaying. ‘I might technically be your boss Flo, but I also want to be your friend. I know something is going on, and I care.’ He sighed, ‘I care about you, I want to get to know you more.’ He said picking up a fork. He wasn’t going to give up I could tell, I know this whole thing is wrong but the butterflies are back and trying to tell me different. The way he said he cared, it sounded different.

‘Whatever you say Josh.’ I sighed and ate my pancakes, they were tasty just like I always thought they were in the movies. ‘But first, I want to know your middle name. He said smirking, the previous conversation forgotten, thank god. ‘Absolutely not, you haven’t earned it.’ I said waving my fork at him. He was still smirking when his eyebrows raised. ‘Oh I have to earn it from the pretty girl?’ My mouth dropped open in shock, ‘No, no you know that’s not what I meant.’ I stuttered out. My face started heating up and I looked down at my plate, ‘Are you sure?’ He teased me, I looked up at him still bright red. ‘Very sure.’ He nodded and his face dropped. ‘Oh, okay. Anyway, how do I earn the privilege to learn you middle name love?’ He asked, I could tell the smile gracing his face was fake.

‘You’ll figure it out Mr Kiszka.’ I smiled, and finished off my coffee and pancakes. I offered to pay for the food, but he refused and left cash and tip down. ‘So what now ?’ I asked him as we strolled back to the car. His hand coming to rest on my back again, it felt natural this time but I still jumped a little when his hand met my skin. ‘Hmm, well we still have a few hours till you’re needed at work with Jess. How about the botanical gardens they have here? If you’re into that sort of thing.’ He said opening the door for me. I slid into the car and watched him walk around and hop into his side, ‘That sounds amazing!’ I said smiling while he smiled and put the directions into his phone.

We chatted as he drove his way to the gardens, he talked about how the band got started, how amazing it is to be touring the world with his brothers. I loved the way he called Danny his brother, it shows how close they were and how much he valued him. He asked me about my life back home, my parents and interests. It was nice to just talk to him, away from work and what designs he likes for his outfits. We arrived at the botanical gardens and I could smell the flowers from the car park.

‘So I got us tickets already.’ Josh said smiling as he got out the car, I stepped out too and grabbed my bag. ‘Oh no, how much was it ?’ I said pulling my purse out, I opened it when he walked over and grabbed my hand. I felt goosebumps rise on my skin where his skin met mine, I sucked in a breath and looked up. He was staring down at me, ‘Don’t worry love, I got it.’ He said pulling away. ‘No please! Let me get this one.’ I insisted and pulled out some cash, ‘Please Josh.’ He smirked down at me as we walked into the reception area to grab our tickets. ‘Absolutely not, this is your first time in the lovely USA so let me get this one.’ I sighed and walked after him while he grabbed the tickets.

While he was stood at the desk grabbing our maps, I slid the money into his back pocket. He didn’t seem to notice and passed me a map while we walked into the gardens. I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes, it smelled amazing in here. I sighed and opened my eyes to look over at him. He was smiling slightly down at me, he placed a hand on my back and led me on. ‘Happy to be here Flo?’ He said pulling me in closer, his arm making its way up my back to over my shoulders, froze up a bit. I haven’t been this close to a guy since Ezra. The butterflies are back, I felt sick with how many were flying around my stomach. ‘Uh, yeah. Very.’ I mumbled, ‘Sorry, love. Is this not okay?’ He said pulling away for a second. ‘No! No it’s fine Josh. Just took me by surprise that’s all.’ I said leaning back into him.

We carried on walking around and chatted more. He was fun, he kept the conversation going. There was no awkward silences, he just kept asking questions. He wanted to know everything, from my favourite colour, to my favourite music and my family. ‘So, tell me Flo. Any boyfriend, girlfriend on the scene?’ He asked me as we walked past some water feature. His arm was still around me, holding me in close. The butterflies were still raging in my stomach as I sipped a latte we had picked up. I took out my phone to snap a picture and post it to my story. Nothing from any account I didn’t know had looked at my story last time, but I will check again after this one. I tagged my location so my mum and Orla can see what I’m doing.

I froze up a little bit and peeked at him, he was looking forwards sipping his cappuccino. How could one man look so sexy drinking a coffee?

‘Um, no.’ I said looking down, ‘How about you?’ I asked him. ‘Nope, haven’t been in a relationship for about a year now.’ He said smiling looking at me. He was always so happy, I want to be that happy all the time. ‘Cool.’ I said, immediately cringing. I had no idea what to say and that’s the first thing that came to mind? Great. He chuckled next to me, ‘Cool. We should get going, I’m sure you and Jess have a lot to do before we set off to Houston. We still on for plans tomorrow with the guys and Jess?’ He said guiding me back down another path filled with flowers.

‘Definitely! I want an American night out soon.’ I said, I took his coffee cup and chucked them in the bin as we passed one. When I walked back over he placed his arm on my shoulder again, it seemed natural to him. Maybe he was like this with all his friends? Yeah, don’t get your hopes up it’s just who he is. ‘I’m looking forward to it love.’

We made our way back to the car and headed back to the hotel. Me and Jess were working from her room today before the airport just to start some new designs and check in with how the tailor was doing. I hopped out the car as he pulled up but he grabbed my hand to stop me, I sat back in my seat and looked over at him. He was staring at me, concern swimming in his eyes and he still had a hold of my hand. ‘You can talk to me Flo. You know that, right?’ He said softly, as if to not scare me off. My breath got stuck in my throat, his gorgeous brown eyes never breaking eye contact. ‘Flo, you can talk to me darling.’ I let out a shaky breath, closed my eyes and looked away. That name, that horrible, shitty pet name. I hate what it does to me. I hate the way my body instantly reacts. I love the way it rolls off his tongue, how it makes it way out of his beautiful mouth. But whenever I hear it, all I can see if Ezra.

All I can picture in my mind is him, the way he would stare down at me. How his hand would be balled into a fist at his side, ‘Fionnuala, darling. You bring this on yourself.’ ‘Get up, darling.’ ‘Darling, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.’

His hand was still holding mine, ‘Flo, come on talk to me whats going on?’ He said, I heard the leather of his seat creak as he leant forwards. ‘I can’t, I can’t tell you.’ I said, I opened my eyes and looked at him. His forehead had lines from where he was concerned, I can’t tell him what’s going on. He doesn’t need to know, he’s my boss. If I tell him he might think i’m not up for the job, it’s better if I just keep this between me and Jess.

‘Flo, you can. You can talk to me. I want to help, I know something is going on.’ He said, his voice still soft, his hand was still holding mine. I pulled my hand away and sighed. ‘It’s none of your concern, Josh. You’re my boss, I am here to do a job. My personal issues don’t concern you.’ I said looking down, when I looked up his face was hard. ‘Yes, they do Flo. Something is going on, you freeze up nearly every time I talk to you. We have amazing talks, but something keeps making you pull back. Something is going on. If you don’t want to tell me fine, but I care okay? I care, Flo.’ He said.

I opened the door and got out, ‘Maybe that’s the issue, boss.’ and made my way inside tears pricking at my eyes. Maybe this job was a shit idea from the start.

[possibly-in-wonderland]

tw/cw: me venting about having a past with a restrictive ed under the cut, view at your own risk

i'm NOT going back to eating so little and starving myself, but ever since i started recovering i have no place i can openly talk about anything and everything. the dragonfly's nest (which is what i call the ed forum i was apart of) was practically my lifeline, where i would talk to people and we wouldn't have to hide our true selves. i was the splenda-addicted, eating-disordered hobbit (literally what i called myself). i was notorious for coffee with unholy amounts of splenda. i would openly say, "man, only a couple more hours left and then i can eat" or i'd even talk about things not ed-related (like my rabbit or guitar).

but i still need an outlet where i can talk.

i got so use to using the dragonfly's nest as an outlet that now i second guess every little thing i post here on tumblr for fear of losing people i've grown close to (even if we don't actually talk, i still feel connections to my mutuals, and idk their backgrounds or what they secretly struggle with, so i dont wanna accidentally trigger them with something ed related, even if it's recovery-related, this is the best i can do to vent and make sure everyone knows what topic is under the cut above).

i know i'm not alone in this, but i still feel alone. the dragonfly's nest felt like family. people get things about ed forums and pro-ana wrong all the time.

we don't force eachother to get skinny or anything, in fact we encourage others to get better and go into recovery, but we're not the type to harp on anyone about it, we know it's hard af.

and pro-ana doesn't mean "i want everyone to be anorexic" it means "i'm anorexic, and i'm not ready to recover". maybe it meant a different thing in the early-2000s, but it means something different now.

i wasted a majority of last year with this fucking curse, and, luckily, now the only thing im scared of is eating poptarts (granted, they taste awful anyway).

although i don't like the thought of wasting my days away thinking about the next calorie i put in my mouth, i also kinda miss it. it was something to do and i felt in control of something. i know people feel "nostalgia" for their ed's and it's not uncommon. i had an addiction to the feeling of being empty and the feeling of standing up and almost blacking out and being dizzy (even though i almost cracked my skull on the corner of the kitchen counter one time).

the only things that pulled me out of my ed was working with hephaestus and getting obsessed with the hobbit/lotr. at this point, if im not thinking about being a witchy princess warrior lady in the realm of middle earth, then i start to slowly hate my body. not entirely, just...a little.

[99point9percentwhump]

mwahaha let us begin..

Second round!

Whump illnesses of this or that..

Coughing or sneezing

Rash or inflamation

Chicken pox or small pox

Fever or chills

Migraine or cluster headaches

Limping or broken bone

Shoulder strain or muscle pull

Appendicitis or stomach ache

Anaemia or blood clot

Food poisoning or stomach bug

Allergies or illness

Hiding illness or showing ilness

Collapsing in pain or fainting

Black plague or flu

Cut or graze

Burn or carpet burn

Confusion or dizzy

Coma or unconscious

Hyperthermia or heat stroke

There seen I've been nice 🤣

nice... think you need to think about that XD OK *cracks knuckles* lets get into this

Coughing or sneezing coughing more painful but id never say no to sneezing occasionally

Rash or inflamation huuuuhhhh........ rash? I think 0.0

Chicken pox or small pox Wut..... Jaysus woman.... small pox??? I guess

Fever or chills they go hand in hand! you cant divide them damnit!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fever... deffo fever

Migraine or cluster headaches Migraines hit a little close to home but if Im not having one Ill have him go thru that for sure skjsksjkskjs FEEL THE PAIN

Limping or broken bone limping they cans till go on the run but re in so much pain and itll slow them down >D

Shoulder strain or muscle pull ouch..... muscle pull more universal

Appendicitis or stomach ache Appendicitis! esp if theyre out in the middle of nowhere and have to make it work MWAHAHAHAHA

Anaemia or blood clot ...No..... ugh ok ummmm the former cuz that can be fixed mostly while still having whumpee side effects

Food poisoning or stomach bug depends on the symptoms.... leaning towards stomach bug

Allergies or illness illness i think

Hiding illness or showing ilness hiding is better getting the "are you ok?" and being like "im fine" and the steady decline deffo

Collapsing in pain or fainting which ever has more eye fluttering or rolling..... collapsing in pain I guess

Black plague or flu who the hell.... oh come one.... flu

Cut or graze I like a good graze plenty of potential

Burn or carpet burn my mind goes places.... how are they getting the latter skjskjskkjskjs okok seriously burn i suppose 🤪

Confusion or dizzy Dizzy my dear Lt Hanley would disagree but its so good

Coma or unconscious is that even a question??? Unconscious

Hyperthermia or heat stroke

Hyperthermia slightly less worry some easier to treat I think while still being good Pfffftttt there @whumpookies you have it the ball is in your court XD