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pernesophe · 3 months ago

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Wind Breaker Boys x Touch Starved Reader

(Minors, Ageless and Blank Blogs DNI)

Synopsis: How the Wind Breaker boys would handle a touch averse / touch starved S/O.

Characters in this post:

Nirei Akihiko {TW: mentions of parent's bad childhood, mention of reader not having many friends, childhood neglect of reader a bit, tons of comfort and fluff}

Suo Hayato {TW: suggestive, comfort, fluff, Suo can be a teasing little shit (in a good way)}

Sakura Haruka {TW: past abusive relationship for reader and ex shows back up, violence, mention of blood, comfort, fluff, Sakura and reader are bad at feelings}

Master List (I have no rights to these characters, the works they come from, or the art/screenshots/manga panels used in this post)

Nirei Akihiko

(~4151 wc)

It was an early spring morning when you met the blonde boy with puppy dog eyes named Nirei Akihiko. You were waiting in line at the Cactus Bakery to buy a breakfast pastry, but you were having a hard time choosing - a small notch in your brow and thumbnail caught between your teeth as you stared intently at the menu.

“Any of their bread is good - even when it’s cold!” A kind, but slightly timid voice piped up behind you. Turning in surprise, you saw a blonde boy standing there clad in a Furin uniform and a bright smile on his face. Returning his smile, you then thanked him and stepped up next to place your order.

Both of your orders came out at the same time, which was how you learned each other’s names. Nirei offered to walk you to school after that, and you gratefully agreed to the company. Typically you were rather quiet with a severe resting face so you weren’t what people would call approachable, so it was rare someone would offer their company so easily.

The walk passed quicker than you had liked, because Nirei spent the whole time asking questions about you and jotting down notes in an animated fashion. He said it was to help look after the town as part of Bofurin, and you giggled to yourself, finding him to be immensely endearing.

Thankfully, Nirei had the confidence to ask for your contact information - “in case you ever needed Furin help when they aren’t around” - and once again you agreed without any hesitation. Later that day, you ran into Nirei and his friends on your way home and they offered to walk with you - again you were more than happy to take them up on it. They asked you questions here and there, but you enjoyed just watching the three of them interact as friends. You laughed a lot on that walk home.

After this day, it became a pretty common ritual for you and Nirei to show up at the bakery at the same time, get your orders, and then Nirei would walk you to school. On the days he didn’t have patrol, he would walk you home as well.

One day when you two were on your way home, he asked if he could text you just “to talk”. He was so nervous when he asked - hands fidgeting in front of him - but when you beamed at him and nodded excitedly, he shot you a relieved smile in return.

Funnily enough, despite your severe affect and quiet nature, Nirei always described you to people around Furin as kind, smart, witty, and pretty. The first few times a Furin member you didn’t know smiled and waved at you out of the blue, or if they said, “Hey Y/N! I think Nirei is around Pothos,” you were stunned in place blinking rapidly at them. After a while, you began smiling and waving at members of Furin first. It was just an entirely different experience from what you’ve gotten in the past, so the one day you put on that severe affect again - Nirei was a little surprised.

“Hey, sweetheart! Why don’t you let me show you a good time, instead of that mama’s boy?” Some sleazy looking thug called out as you and Nirei passed by the park. Immediately all of Nirei’s muscles tensed and he was swiftly on edge, but you turned around coolly with one lethally arched brow.

“I’m already having a good time, thanks though.” Returning with a deadpan expression as you started to turn away again. Nirei was staring at you wide eyed, eyebrows raised high, never having heard that tone from you or seen that expression on your face before. The thug’s face soured as he took a threatening step forward. Nirei raised his fists, shaky and unsure of himself, but you immediately whipped back around and crossed your arms over your chest while standing your ground.

“What does a good time mean to you anyway? Smoking cigarettes at the park? Drinking in some back alley? Oh, I know! You must be talking about smashing the windows of storefronts.” Sneering at him coldly while you cocked your head slightly in question, or in threat - Nirei couldn’t quite tell. The thug paused in his advancements for a moment, truly not expecting to have been cut by your tongue, so then you added, “Between that and hanging out with a guy who respects his mom…” your gaze cut to Nirei before it settled back on the guy in immeasurable judgment.

“Which do you think is the better choice?” Posing the question as you shifted your weight to one foot and pinned him with a glare that Nirei honestly thought only his mother could muster. Before the guy could advance further, you grabbed Nirei’s sleeve and turned on your heel. Knowing better than to speed away - lest the guy gave chase - you stalked away from the park instead with Nirei in tow.

When the two of you were at least a couple blocks away, you finally slowed down and released his sleeve before shaking out your arms as you released a pent up breath. Once the tension had mostly dissipated, you turned back to Nirei with a bright smile that immediately gave way to shock when you saw Nirei’s expression. Owl eyed, mouth agape with a small notch in his brow - was it just surprise, or condemnation as well? Unable to discern what he was feeling, you shrink away slightly and started to form an apology.

“You're so strong Y/N!” He suddenly blurted out as his eyes brimmed with tears, and you were stuck standing there blinking in surprise. You’ve been called a lot of things for your demeanor and sharp tongue, but never strong. At least not with the level of adoration and reverence that Nirei just said the word.

“U-uh, th-thank you,” murmuring meekly as you bowed your head slightly. The two of you awkwardly resumed your walk home after that as the fear of abandonment rose up in your chest - even though Nirei only had good things to say about you after the ‘park incident’. After Nirei bid you goodbye, you were still a little worried that he might not want to keep hanging out with you. The thought ate at you throughout the rest of the night.

Nirei, of course, still wanted to hang out with you. Proven by the fact that when you arrived at the bakery, he had already ordered and paid for both of your breakfasts. You were a little surprised, but took it gratefully with a smile. Nirei was fidgety on the walk to your school, but about halfway through he finally spoke up.

“U-um, Y/N.” he said in a somber tone, and you looked at him curiously. “I-I really li-like you, as a friend of course, but also…” he trailed off as panic rose in his eyes and then gulped loudly. “I also like you a-as more than a friend,” he explained in an intentional timbre as he tilted his head towards you in hopes you’d understand what he meant. Instead, you just continued to stare at him curiously. After a pregnant pause, Nirei took a shaky breath before speaking again, “Wo-would you want to be my girlfriend?” He asked so timidly, so unsure of himself as you began burning bright red to the tips of your ears.

“You want to date… me?” You murmured feebly, in disbelief, as your eyes went about as wide as his with tears welling up in them. Nirei just blinked at you in shock.

Didn’t he make it obvious? But still, you were staring up at him expectantly - awaiting an answer.

“Well, ye-yeah… I think you’re one of the coolest people I’ve ever met, and I really love hanging out with you, and I think you’re really… pretty,” he admitted quietly while he rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. A bright grin spread over your face as you nodded quickly.

“Really?!” Exclaiming as excited tears dripped to the ends of your lashes. Quickly you cleared your blurring vision with your sleeves to reveal Nirei staring back at you in shock, but still he nodded slowly.

“I wanna date you too!” You cried breathlessly with an effervescent glint in your eye. “I think you’re really, really kind and funny. I always have a good time talking and hanging out with you,” heaving air in and out as you rushed to say the things you’ve been feeling for Nirei for the past month or so.

During your admission, Nirei’s shocked expression at your tears gave way to surprise, and then unbridled joy. A grin spread over his face as his shaking hands finally stilled.

Of course he asked again just to make sure that you were officially dating, and when you confirmed with a vehement nod, he pulled out his notebook and jotted a few notes. When you asked what that was about, he said he started a notes page about you when you became friends, but he had to update it to “girlfriend” with the date. His expression was so innocent when he told you, which only made your heart pound in your chest as you gaily told him that he’s really adorable. He turned impossibly red and sputtered for about a minute. The two of you were excited and a little shy about your new relationship status on the way home, so Nirei didn’t hold your hand immediately that day - he waited until the very next one.

As soon as you and Nirei left the bakery the next morning, he gently took hold of your hand, but you weren’t secure enough to tell him your hang ups with physical affection. It was obvious from the moment you met that Nirei’s upbringing was much different than yours. His seemed to be filled with a lot of love and hugs, whereas yours, well, not so much. But that’s what you loved about him. He of course noticed how tense you were when he held your hand and started to feel nervous that you didn’t like him.

At first he chocked it up to nerves from your relationship still being so new, but over the following weeks your tension didn’t lessen. After about a month of dating, and you still borderline flinching from his touch, he brings it up to you while hanging out in his room.

”Um, Y/N?” He intoned across the room and you hummed in response. ”Do you not like it when I touch you? Like when I hold your hand?” He posed the question quietly and with caution. Instantly, your head snapped up to meet his hurt gaze, and you shook your head vigorously at him.

”It’s not that, I swear!” You rushed to reassure him, but then you struggled to find a way to explain. “It’s just that- Well, y’know…” you sighed miserably and let your head fall into your hands. Nirei stood up and crossed the room to sit next to you on his bed.

”It’s okay Y/N, I’m not mad…” he assured you as the bed sank next to you under his weight. Warmth and the comforting scent of bread wafted from him, enveloping you completely.

”I know,” you said softly before raising your head to shoot him a small smile. “It’s not that I don’t like holding your hand, it’s just that I’ve never held anyone’s hand, so it just feels different…” you admitted faintly, squirming a little while you spoke as your gaze fell to the floor.

”Well, you’ve held your mom’s hand before, right? It’s not so different,” he offered gently. You just looked at him with a blank expression that caused him to tilt his head in question.

”I’m not sure if I’ve held my mom’s hand, or my dad’s… I mean, I’m sure I have, I just can’t remember. We don’t hug either… Sometimes living with them kind of feels like living with roommates,” you commented gingerly. Nirei’s eyes widened at your words, but then his face contorted incredulously for a moment before he composed himself.

“Wh-what do you mean?” Nirei asked delicately with a small, disbelieving smile as he tilted his head. Your brow furrowed as you blinked and pursed your lips - silently you thought of how to explain your home life to your abundantly loving boyfriend.

“I-I mean…” you started tacitly, and then paused to take a breath before looking at him directly. “I guess my parents just don’t do that, y’know?” Speaking in a soft, hopeful voice that he would understand, but he just gave a slight shake of his head while a notch formed in his brow.

“My parents’ childhoods weren’t… good. They were honestly pretty bad?” You asked rhetorically with an inflection at the end, punctuated by a tilt of your head. “So, like, they try really hard y’know? They put food on the table, clothe me, give me a warm bed, make sure I go to school, and take me to the doctor when I get sick. Because their parents didn’t do those things…” You explained as tactfully as you could to your kindhearted boyfriend, whose eyes were becoming more and more horrified as you spoke.

“They didn’t really get physical affection, so they don’t know how to give it, but they provide everything else so, like - I’m fine,” you chuckled out reassuringly, as you tried to break up the thickening tension in the room. Nirei, again, shook his head slightly before intaking a deep breath which only put you more on edge.

“We-well… What about friends? You’ve been able to shake hands with or hug your friends, right?” He asked in a hopeful tone, but underneath you could see that he seemed to already know the answer.

“A-actually,” you stuttered out softly as you looked to the floor and twisted your index finger and thumb around your wrist to distract you from your mounting anxiety. “I guess I’ve had a few friends, but none that I’ve been super close to like you with Suo and Sakura.” You admitted, a little ashamed, “I think I look pretty severe to people who don’t know me, so I don’t get approached often by classmates. I’ve tried a few times, but they kind of avoided me so I stopped…” you trailed off in a whisper and slowly looked to Nirei’s face again.

”Y/N, I’m sorry. If I knew that, then I wouldn’t have made this about me,” he said earnestly in a self-admonishing voice. Blinking rapidly at him in disbelief, since he was just staring at you with so much concern - his hand fluttered out to touch your hand but stopped midway.

”What do you mean?” you scoffed lightly. “I hurt your feelings, so it is about you,” you responded, a little incredulous, but Nirei just shook his head gravely at you which caused you to take pause.

”Y/N… Do you want to hold my hand, or is it something you prefer not to do?” He asked gravely, and immediately your muscles tensed up at what that could mean for your relationship. “Either answer is perfectly fine - I’ll feel the same about you regardless, but I don’t want you to feel forced to do something that doesn’t feel okay to you.” He added firmly, eyes overly honest.

”I-I…” you started to respond, but stopped - never really having thought about yourself in the matter before - as your eyes darted around the room nervously.

“I think I do, but it’s hard to make myself comfortable with it…” you spoke slowly - thinking it over a bit longer - as you twirled your thumbs in your lap, “but I do want that with you.” You finally confirmed in a sure tone, and Nirei nodded slowly.

”Well, you don’t have to make yourself comfortable all on your own, y’know?” he assured you with a voice as gentle and warm as the summer breeze while you tilted your head in question. “I mean, I can help you if you’re okay with that,” he offered tenderly in a comforting tone filled with succor. Deep, respiteful, copper eyes gazed into yours causing your heart to flutter in your chest.

”Ho-how?” Rushing so quickly to ask that you stuttered, your eyes pleaded for an answer. Nirei smiled sadly at you as he tried to hide his vexation over your neglect, but his eyes were still filled with deep fondness and devotion for you.

”Would it be okay if I held you?” He asked without making any moves to touch you, brows raised slightly in question, and his eyes showed with nothing but pure intent. Still, you nervously shifted on the bed to look at him more directly, a confused notch in your brow.

”What do you mean?” You asked, utterly confused. Of course you understood what ‘being held’ meant, but it’s something you’ve only seen offered to children and seeing as you were no longer one you had kind of missed your opportunity, right? Other than that, you’ve seen it once or twice in a sappy romance film, but those were… fake, right?

”Like you can sit in my lap and I’ll just wrap my arms around you,” he explained calmly. The air escaped your lungs all together as your eyes widened, because that really was what your sweet, and exceptionally caring Nirei was offering to you. After what felt like several minutes you nodded breathlessly.

Nirei positioned himself so he was sitting at the head of the bed, back to the wall, and then opened his arms out to you. Hesitating for a moment before you crawled up the bed, the mattress dipped under your hands and knees, until you were in between his legs and sitting in front of him. As you got closer his warmth radiated into your goosebumped skin as the scent of baked bread enveloped you even more. Nirei slowly leaned forward and grabbed your upper arms with a featherlight grip before pulling you down to lay on top of him.

Once you’re situated with your head on his chest, he wraps his arms around you. At first you felt tense, but with the heated weight of his arms draped around you, the steady rise and fall of his chest and the rhythmic beat of his heart, and the soft cotton of his shirt against your cheek - you felt soothed and finally relaxed into his touch. The two of you stayed like that for hours, wordlessly, he held you and you let him without a trace of discomfort. Eventually you fell asleep on him, and he didn’t make any attempt to wake you until it was getting close to your curfew. Remorsefully, he woke you up and held your hand while walking you home.

Your empathetic boyfriend does well to hide his pity for you, and his ire at your home life, though that night he absolutely sobs himself to sleep remembering your confession. After this, Nirei schedules a few hours a week where he can just hold you. When you asked him why he was so insistent about it he said firmly, “If I’m the first person to ever show you affection like this, then I have a lot of time to make up for - and I have every intention to do just that.” Honestly, you had never seen Nirei with such a determined expression, set with a pair of resolute mahogany eyes, that left no room for argument.

Nirei has never been as firm with anything else in your relationship as he was with holding you, and he followed through completely. It did help too, because now 6 months after the fact you are able to grab Nirei’s hand to hold it - relishing in his comforting warmth. Sometimes you can still get a little nervous about accepting cheek and forehead kisses from him, but you just get shy and blush when he does it. Which he loves, especially when he does it around your school because your resting face breaks into a bashful smile, causing some of your classmates to do a double take. Occasionally you’d even reach out and hug him before bidding him goodbye as you head to school in the morning.

It was after you hugged him one day before class - he responded by lovingly pressing a kiss to the top of your head, to which you looked up from where your face was buried in his chest to beam up at him brightly while blushing up to your ears - that your classmates actually started approaching you. They were a little surprised, but relieved, that when people actually do approach you that you smile and talk easily with them. The rest of your high school years aren’t nearly as awkward since you started putting in real effort to shuck off that hardened exterior too.

By the end you actually formed a few close friends with some girls in your class. A couple of which ended up being your roommates throughout university. Nirei is a source of constant support through your developing relationships - especially when you are first learning what a healthy balance of give and take is in a friendship. He’s always reminding you that you’re doing your best, but to not overextend yourself - especially in college where your school and job workloads are quite substantial.

Years later, after you and Nirei have built a home that is always filled with love, laughter, and tons of hugs - the two of you fill it with children of your own. Over the years you’ve become incredibly close with Nirei’s (and now your) family, his parents often stopping by to help with the kids. Your parents stop by occasionally to help where they can, but are often confused by your household. On one particular visit, they watched with bewildered expressions as you happily played with your kids on the living room floor. Nirei was in the kitchen preparing dinner while they sat at the bar, and though he wanted to, he was good not to go off on them.

“She looks really happy, doesn’t she?” Posing the simple question instead as he continued stirring the boiling pot, sepia orbs exuded love and adoration toward you as you pretended to fall dead from your children’s “attack”. A long, awkward pause filled the room, but Nirei continued cooking calmly.

“Yes, she really does,” your mother eventually uttered out to him as she met his gaze over the bar with teary eyes and a wispy smile on her lips. Nirei smiled kindly back at her, and then they watched your daughter sprint up to him in the kitchen and beg to be picked up, which he did without hesitation as you came to take his spot and finish up the meal.

“What’s the score?” Nirei asked with a light smile and a peck to your cheek as he positioned the little girl with his eyes on his hip and let the little boy with your hair start pulling him towards the living room.

“Knights - 107?, Dragon - 0,” chuckling back as you started adding the final ingredients to the pot. Both you and Nirei laughed loudly before he took your place on the floor - assuming the role of Dragon for the kids.

It takes some time before your parents kind of get into their groove as grandparents, but eventually they start playing and hugging with your kids when they come to visit - early on enough that that is how your kids remember their grandparents. Because your parents' childhoods were really volatile, they just didn’t know how to give that love out - or if it was safe. Though after seeing how you and Nirei are with your kids, they seemed to finally feel safe enough to open up as well.

Sometimes Nirei will ask you about it, and how their change makes you feel - a little worried that you resent your parents (which he believes would be valid). You’re honest in the fact that you really wish you had gotten this version of them when you were younger, but you’re just grateful you and your kids get them now.

But not as grateful as you are for him. Nirei was the one who loved you despite your hardened exterior; and the one who held you until those walls you didn’t even realize you had built just weathered away and crumbled all around you. He was the one standing there when you felt vulnerable and bare from this new feeling, and he was the one who wrapped you up in something soft and held you through that too. Under the sun, in the fresh air, through the night if he had to. He held you until it didn’t feel unnatural any more. Until you felt comfortable enough to wrap your arms around him and hold him back. And once you did, you could never let him go.

Suo Hayato

(~3189 wc)

The day you met Suo Hayato could’ve started a little better, but you were still grateful for how it ended. It began with you waking up to your reflection in your phone's blackened screen and your charging cord being broken. Even better, the clock on your bedside table showed that it was already 15 minutes past when you were supposed to leave.

Rushing to get ready before you wildly sprinted from your house in the direction of school, and you would've made it in time if you had just maintained speed. Of course, life always has other plans.

As you rounded a corner, you were met with 3 thugs, the leader immediately caught your wrist and yanked you backwards. Desperately, you pleaded with him to let you go, but your words fell on deaf ears as he laughed in your face. He dragged you towards a back alley roughly by the wrist, but just as you neared the mouth of the alley, an auburn haired teen wearing an eye patch stepped out of nowhere.

In a matter of seconds, far too fast for your eyes to follow the movements, he had knocked the 3 thugs unconscious and calmly turned to you with a serene smile.

“Are you okay?” He inquired kindly, and you just nodded silently, completely shocked by his fighting expertise.

“You seemed to be in a hurry, running late?” He asked in a way that seemed to be a reminder more than a question as he tilted his head in the direction you were heading. Suddenly you remembered that yes - you were extremely late!

“Ye-yes! Oh God,” turning around but then you quickly turned back to sputter out, “th-thank you so much!” And then you were sprinting away again at top speed. Suo just chuckled to himself about your frazzled demeanor and made a note to ask Nirei about you.

Later that day, after school let out, you saw Suo and his friends walking down the main street of Furin. First, you ducked into the Cactus Bakery to buy a box full of bread, and then you beelined over to them.

“U-um,” speaking up from behind the trio, and they turned in unison to see you holding the box out to them. “Thank you so much for this morning! I’m sorry I rushed off like that - here you go!” You said as his blonde and two-toned friends peered at Suo curiously, but their tawny haired companion paid them no mind. Flashing you a bright smile as he contentedly accepted the box.

“That’s very thoughtful of you, thank you so much.” Suo replied graciously with a respectful bow of his head. After that, the two of you exchanged names and he introduced you to his friends.

Nirei suggested that you give Suo your number in case you ever needed Furin assistance, and Suo seemed agreeable to the idea so you happily obliged. Sakura - the two toned one in the trio - was blushing furiously the whole time, but you couldn’t figure out why.

Funnily enough, after this event you see Suo around the Furin neighborhood all the time. It wasn’t long before you found out that both of you had grown up and lived in the same area, so you thought it was so weird you had never run into him before. In actuality, Nirei majorly assisted Suo in keeping track of the areas you frequent so he could keep a protective eye and check in on you often.

In addition, the two of you had started texting every day. You found Suo to be hilarious for someone who seemed a little aloof when you first met him. Eventually, he asked you to hang out with him outside of when he sees you on patrol around the neighborhood, and you gleefully took him up on it.

The first couple of times the two of you hung out, he took you to a park, or strolled around the canal. On the third hangout he took you to a weekend festival, and that's where Suo told you straight up that he liked you and would really like to take you on a date. Not being one to beat around the bush about what he wants.

You had sputtered nervously over his confession, but he patiently waited for you to recover, since he was already used to Sakura's reactions. Once you regained your composure, you threw him a shy smile before confessing that you’ve been hoping he’d ask you that.

The first date Suo took you on, he surprised you with a bouquet of your favorite flowers when he picked you up, and then took you out to a nice dinner. Afterwards, he walked you down to the canal for a stroll under the full moon. That’s where he first tried to hold your hand, but you had seemed so stiff about it that he let you go and continued the walk in stride with you without mentioning it.

Unbeknownst to you, Suo instantly picked up on how the moment he let your hand go, you resumed your smiley chatter beside him. A part of him had already suspected that you weren’t comfortable with touch after watching how you interacted with the world around you for the past few weeks - often keeping everything at a literal arm's length distance. There was just one last thing he could think to do to confirm his suspicions.

When the date came to a close, Suo paused at the top of the stairs leading back to the road and faced you fully. You halted in your steps as well, and turned to face him as well, staring up at him curiously.

“I had a really good time tonight, Y/N.” He said with a tranquil smile, while making no moves to close the distance or touch you.

“Thank you Suo, I did too! Thank you so much for taking me out,” you gushed to him with a bright smile tugging at your lips. Suo just smiled bigger as he nodded along to your words.

“Y/N,” he said gently, and you hummed in response, eyebrows raised slightly in question. “I would like to be your boyfriend - if that would be okay with you?” Asking calmly with a genuine inflection in his tone as he tilted his head forward slightly while he awaited your answer.

A pregnant pause passed as you just stared up at him wide eyed, and then a bright red tint overtook your face up to the tips of your ears as you sputtered hysterically. Suo stifled a laugh but you could see his obvious amusement as you floundered to answer, but he patiently waited regardless.

“Y-ye-yes! I would really love that Suo!” Finally you were able to stutter the words out as you barely contained a squeal behind your hands. Suo chuckled mirthfully as he regarded you with the softest look - taking in your half moon eyes brimming with excited joy and the blinding grin showing through your fingers. Immediately his suspicions were confirmed that you just aren’t prone to touch, but you are prone to him.

Your chestnut-haired boyfriend peacefully walked you home after that, and bid you goodnight at the door. Awkwardly, you shifted your weight from one foot to the other as you expected him to try to kiss you, but Suo just said that he would see you tomorrow with a respectful bow of his head. Nodding dumbly, you threw him a small smile and waved to him as you shut the door. On the other side, you groaned to yourself about how utterly embarrassed you felt.

Because Suo was aware of your relationship with touch, he was overly respectful of your boundaries. About two months into your relationship, Suo noticed you staring at his hand a lot as of late, and occasionally trying to reach out to touch him from the corner of his eye.

Every time you stop yourself though, because Suo always insisted you walk on the inside of the street - closer to the building - where you’re on his ‘blind’ side. Not wanting to startle him unnecessarily, you pulled back at the last second. Of course, your boyfriend who has an eye like a hawk caught your every attempt as a knowing smirk played on his lips, but he didn’t let on that he knew whatsoever.

When you finally got the courage to gently grab his hand, it’s while the two of you were sitting on the couch in your living room reading together. For once, you were situated on his side without the eyepatch. Ever so slowly, you released the book in your hand, and reached out to grasp his hand lightly. Suo paused in his reading and set down his book on the table next to the couch before he turned to you, and just smiled serenely at you for a moment - carefully regarding your expression.

”Do you feel ready for this?” Asking in a genuinely curious tone, as he tilted his head while that burnt sienna eye reflected immense solicitude for you, and your answer he awaited. Nervously you fidgeted your feet on the floor a bit before you nodded at him.

”I really want to be…” you admitted shyly while averting your gaze towards your feet. A long, silent pause passed as you felt Suo’s eye burning into you. Suddenly, he smoothly slid one arm under your knees and the other behind your back before scooping you into his lap so your legs were draped over him. Suo’s arms were lightly wrapped around your arms and torso. Immediately you tensed up in his lap, but made no attempts to move.

”Can I help?” He asked innocently, his voice genuine despite the mischievous glint in his eye, and you peered at him in surprise before nodding slowly. Suo just smiled his unflappable smile before he placed the palm of his hand flat to your lower back while the other cupped your cheek while he traced your cheek with his thumb.

“How’s this?” He leaned in close to your other cheek, and murmured into your ear, and you shivered from his calming voice - low and somewhat gravelly as it vibrated through the air. Warm breath fluttered your hair, and Suo swiftly tucked it behind your ear before he replaced his hand on your lower back. Then he began tracing his calloused thumb over your cheek and down over your jaw.

”It feels go-good,” whispering faintly, as you blushed so brightly you were worried Suo’s hand might get burned. He chuckled at you endearingly before he slowly moved to rub your hip with one hand, and let the other caress down your neck and arm, over your thigh and back up along your side - stopping just under the curve of your breast.

”And that?” he asked in a huskier tone with a quirk of his brow. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Suo’s lips curl slightly from teasing, and you could hear it in his voice as well.

”Re-really good…” you whispered bashfully, barely able to meet his eye. He just grinned down at you as your ruddy cheeks deepened a shade. His fingers felt soft against your skin as he traced feather light touches over your clothes and bare limbs. A shiver ran up your spine when his hand stopped securely on your ribs. Warmth radiated from his palm to your goosebumped skin underneath the fabric.

”Where do you want me to touch you next?” He asked candidly, and you looked at him in shock for a moment before you thought of an answer. His eyebrows raised slightly as an amused look washed over his face while he watched you silently deliberate his question.

”I-I think I want, um… pressure?” Posing the question to him - like you had no idea what that meant, because you didn’t, or what that entailed. Suo felt his heart flutter at your apprehensive expression and the way your eyes searched his for guidance. He flashed you a warm, reassuring smile as he nodded that he knew what to do, while you readjusted you in his lap so he could hug you tightly against his chest.

For someone who has always been so gentle with you, and who you have only ever seen redirecting another’s attack in a fight - it’s not that you didn’t think Suo was strong, it’s just that you didn’t realize how strong. It felt like you had been holding this breath for God knows how long that lodged itself so deep within your being that it had left you stiff, but Suo was able to push it right out of you in the form of a sob. Slowly, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he tightened his arms around your torso even more until you were quietly weeping with your face buried in the crook of his shoulder.

”I’m sorry… this is so embarrassing…” you whispered into his collar. Suo just rubbed your back soothingly before pressing a kiss to your temple. The entire sensation of being touched and held was so different to you.

Growing up, you came from a truly loving family, who always gave gifts and shared kind words. Speaking in depth about your emotions was never really an issue, but no one in your family was ever that touchy feely, so you weren’t either just by nurture. You always felt loved and cared for by your family, and the friends you’ve gained over the years were very much like you - open about themselves but not prone to hugging or anything like that. Honestly, it was hard to place why this made you so weepy, but for the first time in your life you felt like you’ve been… missing out?

”Not in the least. I want this with you too, Y/N.” He spoke simply, which made you pause in sobbing and lean back to look at him, bewildered. Which only made him chuckle up at you as he reached up and wiped away your tears.

“I want to experience all of you, and this is part of that. So, please, don’t apologize to me for this, okay?” He said delicately as he gripped the back of your head and brought you close enough for him to kiss your cheek.

Fresh sobs racked your body - good sobs this time - as Suo pulled you back into the crook of his neck and resumed hugging you with pressure. You leaned fully into him, and let yourself cry out all the tears you didn’t know you were holding in until you finally quieted and sat back to look him in the eye again - expression completely vulnerable.

“Um,” you murmured timidly and Suo stared at you with a patient smile. “Can you ke-keep holding me for a little bit longer?” Asking quietly as you averted your gaze to anywhere but his unblinking eye. Your boyfriend tittered as he tenderly grasped your chin with his fingers and made you look at him again - a calm expression on his face.

“Of course, but you have to tell me how.” He directed you gently, and you stared at him dumbfounded for a long moment. A light laugh passed his lips before he elaborated.

“Do you want to stay like this, or do you want me to hold you in a different way?” Offering you an option, but he had to stifle his tittering as your brow furrowed deeply in thought. After a long moment of you weighing the options, Suo finally laughed out right before taking pity on you.

“What if I sit with my back against the arm of the couch, and you can sit with your back to my chest.” Offering cautiously, and when you met his gaze with wide eyes and quickly forming blush Suo chuckled at you some more.

“I’ll read to you if you’d like,” he said as he gestured to the book on the bedside table. Your eyes lit up at the suggestion and you quickly nodded at him with a shy smile tugging at your lips.

Once the two of you were situated - Suo’s back against the arm of the couch and you sat between his legs with your back against his chest and your knees bent in front of you - he wrapped his arms around you to hold the book on top of your knees.

Opening it to the first page, his chin rested on the top of your head so he could see properly, he began reading soothingly to you. Folding yourself more into his arms enveloped you in Suo’s warmth and scent as his lilting voice filled the room. As he spoke his chest rumbled with the timbre of his words sending rhythmic vibrations through your back to your chest.

You felt so warm and safe nestled in your boyfriend’s arms that it wasn’t long before you drifted off to sleep. Despite your soft snoring, which brought an amused smile to Suo’s lips, he kept reading to you in your sleep in hopes that you would have sweet dreams.

After this, Suo is able to hold your hand in public and give you forehead and cheek kisses without any awkwardness from you. In fact, now you lean into his affections with a bashful smile, and he always pulls away with a serene expression and a triumphant glint in his eye. If Sakura is ever in the vicinity when this happens he turns redder than a tomato, and Suo will usually tease him mercilessly.

In private, the two of you still have “sessions” often where Suo will sit you on his lap and caress you with dainty touches while asking, “How’s this?” His voice always possesses a tantalizing lilt, but throughout your relationship his eye has begun to develop a hungrier look.

Except now, those dainty touches leave you exasperated before long, because you want him to touch you quicker. But he loves taunting you too much, at least until you desperately cup his face in your hands and plead, “It’s all good Suo - just touch me, please!”

He'll just smile knowingly at you, causing you to whine pathetically and pout stubbornly. Your tease of a boyfriend already knows what you want, he can read you like a book after all. As you squirm a little in his lap to press down onto his growing bulge in hopes that he’ll finally relinquish his self control.

Occasionally during some sessions, his hands will grow rougher - grip tighter - and breath more uneven as it fans against your skin. Though he’s hid it supremely well, sometimes you pick up on the effect you have on him between the overstimulation of his fingers and lips.

”Of course, my love,” murmuring with a reassuring peck to your cheek, and then, “where do you want me to touch you?” He’ll ask deviously in a voice so dark and smooth it feels like a blackened river rushing around you - already knowing you’re frustrated beyond belief. You'll look him right in his mischievous eye, so you’re staring into the depths of his soul, an irked pout pulling at your lips with an adorable notch in your brow. Suo can’t help but titter at you in amusement.

”Everywhere.” Speaking bluntly, voiced lace with maddening frustration, as his grin grows wide, his eye falls half lidded, and he finally touches you without any inhibitions. Teasing caresses turn into hard squeezes as he pulls you impossibly close to smother you with ravenous, open mouthed kisses. Even years after the ‘first’ session, well into your relationship, Suo will still offer you ‘sessions’ that always leave you flushed and breathlessly crying out his name.

Sakura Haruka

(~4120 wc)

The day you met Sakura Haruka was when you moved into the apartment next door. The situation you came from was pretty rough, so you were grateful to land anywhere else. The majority of interactions you were used to were borderline violent, so when you and Sakura exited your apartments at the same time and he threw you a scowl - you happily grinned at him and waved.

Your neighbor turned bright red and sputtered at your jovial greeting, something that was completely foreign to him, especially after he had been not welcoming at all. For you though, a scowl was leagues better than how you had been treated before, so you didn’t think about it too much.

From that day forward, Sakura didn’t scowl at you but was still apprehensive of your presence. Despite the fact that you always greeted him, asked him how his day was, and asked him questions about himself. He was not forthcoming with his responses at first, but your persistent smile and bright eyes had him opening up to you before he even realized it.

The two of you weren’t super close, but were amicable enough as neighbors. Sakura honestly started to feel guilty after a while, because you would consistently bring him leftovers from your meals and he felt like all he was doing was mooching.

Regardless, you insisted that he take the leftovers every time, because you simply wouldn’t be able to eat them all. It wasn’t until your past came knocking at your door that the two of you really became friends.

It’s not something you liked to talk about, but with how chaotic your early home life was you ended up moving out when you were about 14. Not having anywhere to go, you ended up working under the table at this Konbini for a rather creepy older man - he didn’t ever try anything though since his son was so very interested in you. Being young, naive and desperate, you really thought the son loved you and cared for your well being.

After a year and a half of being trapped under his thumb, you finally found a job at a nicer Konbini that a kind, older woman ran and immediately applied for your apartment. It was a two day turnaround from finding the job to packing up your stuff in secret and making a silent get away.

You had never told anyone about this before, so when you heard pounding on the door while lidding your pot to simmer, you honestly don’t know what to do or who to turn to. At first, you thought of hiding, but the son seemed to know you were already in there as the pounding became more insistent, accompanied with shouts of, “Y/N! I know you’re in there! Open up! Now!”

Crossing your apartment, against your better judgment, as you shakily unlocked the door and swung it wide open. Tensing as the doorknob clicked against the wall, fully convinced that you were about to be attacked and thrown around your apartment like a ragdoll.

Unbeknownst to you though, your two toned neighbor had been standing on the other side of his door from the moment the pounding started - locked in an internal debate of whether it was his place to get involved or not. The debate was decided the moment he heard the lock clicking and your door slowly swinging open as he scrambled to open his door and threw himself into the hallway. Just as the son was reaching through the doorway to grab you by the throat, a black and white blur collided with him from the left, knocking him to the other end of the hall.

Stunned, you stood there in the empty doorway blinking rapidly at the closed door across from your apartment. Jolting yourself into action as you cautiously grabbed the door jam and leaned your head out into the hall in the direction the blur went.

The scene laid out before you was Sakura standing over the son with his fist gripping the son's collar fiercely. There was a predatory shine in his eyes as he growled, “I don’t know who you are, or what you’re trying to do to Y/N, but if I ever see you anywhere near her again I’ll make sure you’re not able to see.”

The second Sakura released the son’s collar, he hit the floor and then scrambled to his feet before half running-half throwing himself down the stairs towards the exit. When Sakura turned to face you, he just asked, “Are you good” with a notch in his brow - as if he wanted to ask more, but wouldn’t let himself. Humming quietly as you nodded at him, and with that he started walking back towards his apartment door.

“Wa-wait,” you blurted out quickly, causing your neighbor to stop and look back at you in surprise. “D-do you wanna eat dinner together?” You asked timidly, and Sakura immediately turned a deep red as he started to sputter.

“It should be done soon, and then I can just pack it up and send it with you after we’re done eating…” you offered hopefully, but when Sakura hesitated and looked between his door and then back to yours, you spoke again.

“Please?” You whispered pleadingly, with your hands clasped in front of you. His face became so red that you actually considered calling for medical assistance, but then he scowled while averting his gaze and nodded before moving towards your apartment.

At first the dinner was incredibly awkward, neither of you really spoke, and Sakura was obviously avoiding asking you about what had just happened. Eventually, you took it upon yourself to let him know who that was and your relationship to him. Sakura listened intently, but by the look on his face he wanted to know more, so you told him he can ask anything he wanted - you would let him know if you didn’t want to answer.

So, he did. He asked everything about you, and I mean everything. By the end of the night, he knew your whole life story and he was kind enough to share a little bit of his.

After that, you two ate dinner together in your apartment every night and became kind of friends, though neither of you admitted it outright. Until Sakura suggested you visit the Furin neighborhood.

When you did, you saw him out on patrol with his classmates and went over to say hello. A curious blonde boy asked who you were and how you knew Sakura, and you thought about it for a moment before glancing at Sakura - the tips of his ears burning furiously - for some assistance.

“Friends.” He basically snapped out. “We’re friends,” he repeated himself before he continued walking down the street. The blonde boy, who you eventually learned to be Nirei Akihiko, stared between you and Sakura with mounting intrigue. The auburn boy with the eye patch, who you learned to be Suo Hayato, chuckled knowingly to himself before asking if you would like them to show you around the neighborhood.

Sakura relaxed throughout the tour to a point where he was able to make his own comments and tell you the things he liked about Furin. Visiting the neighborhood, and especially Pothos, became a regular thing for you after that since you enjoyed the area and people so much.

Enough so, that when the Konbini you worked at was broken into and you ended up seeing a building for lease on the main street in Furin, you asked the owner if she would consider moving the business. She said it would be a lot of work and she’s just too old for that, and honestly with how business was dwindling she was thinking of closing the Konbini altogether.

With the fear of job insecurity, you were rather mute at dinner that night which worried your bi-colored friend. After some prying, you finally let him know what was going on. He was quiet about it, but eventually told you that he thought it would probably work out, so don’t worry yourself too much about it. You threw him a kind smile and thanked him before changing the subject - still feeling unsure of how it would work out.

Unbeknownst to you, Sakura was so sure because he went to class the next day and explained the situation to them, even asking if they would be willing to help with the move if the older woman changed her mind. They of course agreed enthusiastically. After school, Sakura and his seconds went to visit the Konbini owner - Sakura instructed Suo to speak with her since that’s more his skill set - and offered her their help if she changes her mind.

A week later the new location opened on the main street in Furin. The owner was thrilled to move to a nicer neighborhood as well, now living in the apartment above the new Konbini, with the added protection of Bofurin. You were overjoyed to keep your job and to be able to go to the Furin neighborhood daily.

It wasn’t long before you were good friends with Kotoha and Tsubaki, as well. Sakura didn’t show how happy he was outwardly, but truly he was ecstatic because now the two of you walk to Furin and back home together, and he no longer spends all day with the worry of your ex showing up without him there to protect you.

The relationship between you and Sakura didn’t progress beyond ‘friends’ for quite some time, much to the annoyance of many around Furin. It seemed to be obvious to everyone, but the two of you, that the looks, words and smiles shared between you aren't friend-like. Though, it all became clear to the both of you when some guy who had been frequenting the Konbini was waiting for you outside after closing up one night. Sakura was usually there waiting too, but he was held up today.

“Hey, Y/N!” The guy called out with a wave as he walked towards you. Jumping slightly at the sound of your name as you focused on him under the streetlight, but then you recognized him as a regular from the Konbini. Still, you were confused how he knew your name since you weren’t required to wear a name tag, and you didn't go out of your way to tell customers. Your eyes darted around as you looked for Sakura.

“How are you?” He asked while he closed the distance to stand directly in front of you.

“Go-good… How are you?” Asking timidly as your eyes continued to search for the familiar two toned mane of your protective neighbor. Raw survival instinct caused your heart to pound in your ears and your feet to freeze in place.

“I’m good! I was wondering if I could take you to dinner?” He inquired with a faux saccharine smile that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up as he leaned in closer. The scent of cigarettes and cheap cologne wafted under your nose and turned your stomach.

“N-no thank you - I actually was heading home to cook for me and my neighbor…” you murmured faintly, trailing off as his smile dropped completely. Clenching the hem of your jacket in your fists to hide your shaky hands as you worriedly peered around for Sakura again.

“He can’t cook for himself?” Asking gruffly as he cocked his head with a judgmental arch of his brow, then all at once the smile returned to his face. “Why not let a real man take you out? You don’t have to mommy me y’know?” He offered in what may have been an attempt at a seductive tone, but it just made your skin crawl and your bottom lip quiver pathetically.

“I-I like cooking for us…” murmuring quickly as you feebly projected a defensive air. Desperately, you craned your neck in one direction from the other as you looked for your safe person.

“Well, I could show you some other things you might like,” he offer-threatened in a sing-songy voice, accentuated by a sick grin. A predatory glint gleamed in his eye as he took a menacing step towards you.

“Sa-Sakura!” Crying out as you finally took a step back in desperate hopes that the guy would back off, but his grin only widened more as he reached out to grab you.

“Oi! Don’t touch her!” A familiar voice echoed from down the street, accompanied by the sound of pounding feet. You whipped your head to the left to see Sakura sprinting towards you.

“I wasn’t doing anything - no idea she had a boyfriend,” immediately the man muttered and threw both his hands up in the air, but Sakura wasn't listening as he threw his fist into the guy's nose - knocking him to the ground. The guy’s face was covered in blood and his nose was stuck at an odd angle, but he barely noticed as he scrambled to his feet and sprinted away.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you got out, are you okay?” Sakura whirled around, voice urgent, as he looked you over head to toe for any injuries. One slate and one amber eye brimmed with fear, and his face was set with worry - he’s never worn this expression in front of you before.

“I’m okay,” you assured him with a small nod and he heaved a relieved sigh. “Thank you for saving me, again,” murmuring as you threw a small smile at him to which he immediately blushed bright red. The walk home was almost silent - both of you glanced at one another until your eyes met and then swiftly looked at the sky or ground. Awkwardness had settled over your apartment as you prepared the meal, until Sakura piped up from where he sat on your living room floor.

“Do we seem like a couple?” He asked suddenly, and for once you’re the one red in the face and sputtering as you clutched the counter to ground yourself. Blinking rapidly as the words he just blurted out processed in his own ears, Sakura ended up having a delayed reaction to a much more severe degree than yours. Once you both regained some composure, the two of you settled on the living room floor, not looking at each other, while you tried to discuss your “relationship status”.

“When I tell people that I eat dinner with you every night they think you’re my girlfriend,” he muttered, finally breaking the awkward silence. Dropping your shoulders as you released a pent up sigh, and then you glanced over at his beet red side profile.

“Me too,” you sighed soberly. “They always think you’re my boyfriend, or that I want you to be,” you admitted awkwardly, and Sakura immediately nodded in understanding. Though he was still staring at the wall.

“D-do you?” Sakura asked cautiously, still not turning around, and fidgeting nervously with his pant leg. A long, pregnant pause passed before you answered.

“We-well, you know my history with dating…” you started softly. “So, I don’t really know… I’ve never had a good experience so I don't know what that would be like or if I want it.” Answering honestly as you dared to glance at Sakura, who was surprisingly looking right at you and not turning away.

“I feel the same way,” he admitted in a defeated voice. “I have no experience, so how would I know if that’s something I want?” Asking rhetorically as a notch formed in his brow. After a moment of thought you breathed in deeply, earning his undivided attention.

“Well, if everyone thinks we’re a couple, or want to be, because of this,” you gestured to the dinner on the table, “or because of how we are with each other, then I guess… I do want to date you…” you admitted, voice inflecting upwards at the end as you shrink away from his intense stare.

Before he could snap, you swiftly added, “I just mean that I like this, and hanging out with you, so if that’s what dating is then I’m okay with that.” You explained quickly as Sakura caught his breath. After a while he nodded in agreement.

“I-I like it too,” he said in a sotto voice as he turned to face you fully, shoulders relaxing slightly. “So, I guess, if this is dating… then I’d be okay with it too.” Sakura repeated your words as a confirmation with a firm nod of his head.

That was how you and Sakura “asked each other out”, though not much changed as far as how you interacted with one another. The biggest difference for Sakura is that the amount of rage he felt towards that guy outside the Konbini - not just for being aggressive with you, but for simply asking you out - is now justified, he feels at least.

About 3 months after officially becoming Sakura’s girlfriend, the two of you were hanging out at his apartment just chilling - since his class revamped his apartment he’s been wanting to hang out there more, and you’ve been more than happy to oblige. The two of you were sitting at his coffee table enjoying a cup together before dinner was ready. Silently, you reached out and gently grabbed his hand resting on top of his knee.

At first, Sakura jumped and almost yanked his hand back, but then he noticed that your fingers were trembling around his hand. Pausing, he looked at you closer to see that you were sporting a more vibrant crimson tint to your cheeks than he was. Feeling a little less alone in his awkwardness, he somewhat relaxed and opened his hand slightly so he could hold your hand back. Sitting up in surprise as you let him hold your hand as well, but you wouldn’t look at him directly yet.

”Sa-Sakura?” You piped up timidly, and he jumped again but kept hold of your hand as he leaned closer to hear you. “Um, I hope it’s okay, but I’d like to try and hold your hand sometimes… If that doesn’t bother you?” Whispering softly without looking at him directly, and his blush deepened even more as he suppressed the knee-jerk reaction to snap at you. Though he couldn’t control the way he’s started hyperventilating at the idea of doing this more.

”Why would that bother me?” He demanded through gritted teeth, but his flushed face told you that he was just as nervous as you. Taking a deep breath, you began to explain.

”Be-because… I think physical affection, well, affection in general, makes you uncomfortable, and I can relate to that on the physical affection piece.” Speaking demurely, your fingers were still trembling, so Sakura willed his breathing to even out so he could listen to you properly.

“I-It makes me uncomfortable sometimes too, but I-I don’t want it to?” You said as if it were a question with an upwards inflection at the end. “I wa-want to touch you, and maybe one day kiss you… if that’s okay?” Asking timidly as you finally met his gaze with your terrified one. Sakura was so red he was basically a traffic light, but he was also incredibly still as if he was trying his best not to spook you. For a long, long moment the two of you just stared at each other before Sakura finally parted his lips to speak.

”You want to kiss me?” He whispered in utter shock, almost incredulous, but you could tell just from the look in his eyes that he was just feeling vulnerable. Slowly you nodded, not breaking eye contact with his two toned gaze.

”Yes… but I’m just afraid, I guess. I was never really shown affection like that growing up, or in my past relationship. Honestly, I think what I was shown could be categorized as physical animosity…” you mused sadly. “So, I don’t know how to and I’m afraid I’ll do it wrong, or mess this up…” you whispered, voice cracking near the end as you trailed off and averted your gaze to the floor.

Another pregnant pause passed before Sakura leaned forward and bumped your forehead with his, causing you to look up at him in surprise, and then he leaned in to kiss you.

On instinct, your hand that isn’t holding his reared back to slap him, but with his cat-like reflexes he caught you with ease. The two of you were caught in a staring contest, both shocked, until you sheepishly breathed out, “Sorry reflex…”

Sakura just gave you a small smile with a sad, knowing glint in his eye.

”I know,” he whispered gently as he leaned in, much slower this time, before capturing your lips with his. It wasn’t a long kiss, and felt a little awkward, but you enjoyed how his lips felt against yours and how, being so close to him, enveloped you in his scent. It wasn’t a movie screen first kiss, but it felt comforting and safe.

When you parted from the kiss, both of you were sporting a deep ruddiness over your cheeks and could barely look each other in the eye for several minutes. After the silence became too much, you finally asked Sakura if he liked it. He looked you dead in the eye, red in the face with a deep furrow in his brow, as he curtly said, “Yes.”

The severity of his expression made you burst into giggles - finally dissipating your tension, but when you met your boyfriend's gaze again, he was staring at you with nervous desperation. Cocking your head in question until he lowered his head slightly to look up at you through thick lashes, face burning still, and quietly muttered, “What about you?”

“I liked it a lot,” you confessed with a bright smile and an excited gleam in your eyes, despite the fine dusting of pink still clinging to your cheeks. Sakura was stunned into silence at your open confession, but his nerves finally calmed a bit. After the two of you recovered from this development in your relationship, you both looked down to see you’ve been holding hands this whole time. Sakura turned beet red again, but didn't let go until it was time to say good night.

Honestly, after this, your relationship will take a long time to progress beyond hand holding and a private peck here, and there - you two just go at a slower pace, but that’s okay!

Sakura does immediately start holding your hand in public after that night, though he is very defensive about it at first - especially when his friends tease him. Regardless of his embarrassment or the ribbing, Sakura will faithfully keep holding your hand. Even when the teasing becomes a bit too much and he turns on his heel to walk away - you better believe he’s dragging you right along with him.

As for the private pecks, the two of you don’t kiss again for a couple of weeks. It only started becoming a regular thing when Sakura had to rush out the door one morning to help settle a Furin issue, and you assured him he could go on ahead and that you would see him later.

As he was saying goodbye he leaned in and pecked your lips quickly before rushing off. It took him half the day to realize what he did, and he was a reddened mess for the rest of it - he even apologized for it when you saw him later on. But you just shrugged and told him you liked it - which made him hide his face he was blushing so violently - but he took that as the okay to start giving you goodbye kisses at home.

At around the 6 month mark in your relationship is when the two of you cuddle for the first time. Not intentionally, you invited Sakura over to watch a movie and fell asleep on his shoulder near the beginning. Your neck was in an awkward position, so he felt like he needed to reposition you. Which is how you ended up tucked into his side, his arm around your shoulders and your head laid on his chest. He almost glowed in the dark from the scarlet tint sweeping over his face. He had actually intended to just lay you down on the couch to sleep but maneuvering a sleeping person is much more difficult than he realized. When you woke up, Sakura had lulled off to sleep with his arms loosely around you.

Remorsefully, you woke him up, but then you asked if he wanted to spend the night. He hesitated at first, but when you added that you just wanted to sleep, maybe cuddle, he cautiously agreed. Sakura spooned you through the night, which ended up becoming a semi-regular thing in your relationship.

Though Sakura might actually blush to death if anyone ever found out.

#wind breaker x reader #suo x reader #wind breaker boys x touch starved reader #pernesophe #SP's Headspace

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withwritersblock · 6 months ago

Text

More Hearts Than Mine-Her Father Comes to Visit

~More Hearts Than Mine by Ingrid Andress~ Author's Note: I adore this series with all my heart Summary: Her father visits Luke unexpectedly Warnings: None? Word Count: 1,692

It has been far too long since he has gotten his haircut, as he has been traveling tirelessly. He’s been everywhere but Jersey since April. It wasn’t his intention, it was pretty much how his summer plans ended up being.

But here he was standing in the bathroom staring at the nearly shaven sides of his hair. He was constantly battling with what haircut he preferred but he liked the way it looked right now. He was flying to Las Vegas tomorrow for the NHL Awards. He was mainly going to support Quinn, already holding the knowledge that he wasn’t going to win the Calder. Especially since Connor was going to win no matter who else was named a finalist. It was still could to feel recognized.

He ran his hand across his chin, feeling small stray pieces of hair that he needed to trim off of his face. He sighed as he began to pull out the razor and his shaving cream. The doorbell rang as he furrowed his eyebrows harshly.

He wasn’t expecting any company, neither was Y/N. She wasn’t even home. She was at work for another hour. He cautiously placed his razor back onto the bathroom counter before he cautiously walked through the pristine apartment. He had spent all morning cleaning before he went and got his hair chopped off.

He walked towards the door, hesitantly gazing through the peep hole to see Y/N’s father standing outside the door. He quickly pulled his head back, his eyes widening. Suddenly, he could hear his heartbeating rapidly as a wave of nausea flowed through his body. Pressing his lips together, he took a deep breath as he carefully pulled the door open.

Luke smiled a tight lip smile as he swallowed hard, “Y/N’s not here, she’s at work for another hour,” Luke choked out as he stepped to the side, opening the door a bit wider.

“Good, I came to see you,” he mumbled as he walked inside, without asking. Luke delicately shut the door behind her father as he nervously fiddled with the handle as he watched him look at every inch of the apartment he could see. “You didn’t add many decorations,” he observed.

Luke dropped his head as he took a small step towards the center of the apartment where he was standing. “I just had some photos that I framed,” Luke let out shyly, “And like clothes and stuff,” he continued, but he wasn’t sure why the words were leaving his lips. Her father nodded slowly as he continued looking around the apartment.

He took a few steps towards the new collection of photos of Luke and Y/N. He walked up to it, getting a good look of every single one.

The first one her father looked at was a mirror selfie. She held the phone, a wide genuine smile on her lips. He had a hold of her face, his hand held her chin and jaw in place as he passionately kissed her cheek.

The second one was a photo of Luke laying on her chest, his eyes looking up towards her, puppy dog like. She was smiling sleepily as she met his gaze. It was a FaceTime screenshot that her sister took while they were FaceTiming several months ago. The live photo of that moment is Luke’s lockscreen. Every time he misses her he looks down towards his phone and holds his thumb down against the screen and watches the short four second moment.

The third photo was a photo of Y/N and Luke standing beside one another holding the overflowing vases of roses. Luke was smiling a genuine wide toothy grin as she was crying tears of joy. She’s spent their whole time together admiring those roses, but seeing them bunch together had her sobbing.

The fourth and final photo was a photo of them together after Luke’s final game as a rookie. They didn’t win the game but Luke still had a wide smile on his lips as he looked down towards her. His hand was low on her waist as she was pulled tightly towards him.

“She smiles a lot around you,” her father let out finally after what felt like many unbearably long seconds. “It’s been years since I’ve seen her smile like that.” He soon spun around to meet Luke’s gaze, unsure of what to say next he points towards the couch. Luke nods as the pair awkwardly sits on the opposite ends of the couch.

“I’m stubborn,” her father continued, he took a deep breath as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You two living together is like I’m losing my daughter. I mean clearly I’ve already lost her long time ago if I can’t remember the last time she’s smiled like that,” He said as he pointed towards the photos on the wall besides the TV.

Luke chewed his lip for a moment before he sat up straighter as he rested his hands onto his knees. “Y/N’s my first girlfriend. I was always so focused on hockey and trying to beat the best that I never wanted a relationship. But then I met Y/N and I will swear by this until forever that the world literally got brighter when she smiled at me,” he expressed, a soft chuckle leaving his throat.

Her father laughed as a smile formed to his lips, “I said that in my vows,” his father let out shocked at his own words.

“Actually?” Luke forced out. Her father nodded as he took in a sharp breath. Luke tilted his head back as he clenched his jaw nervously. “I’m terrified that us living together has ruined your relationship with Y/N. I know how important it is to her that you like her boyfriends.”

“You’re the first one that’s made her happy. I knew that the second I saw you two walk into my house. I liked you from that moment. I don’t like that you’re a professional athlete, but I see that for eighty-two games you kept your promise that you told my daughter at the beginning of the season,” her father said as he pointed towards the vases of flowers.

“She told you about that?” Luke asked. Her father nodded.

“I needed time to mourn that my daughter isn’t a little girl anymore. She’s happy and in love and I can’t stop that. I can’t stop her from growing up. So I got mad, I do that sometimes, I got mad at you guys. But you make her happy so I can’t be mad anymore. Which is why I needed to talk to you first,” her father expressed. He slowly stood up from the couch, holding out his hand. Luke quickly followed in pursuit as he shook her father’s hand.

The apartment door was pushed open as an excited Y/N walked inside, “Lukey Love, I got done with work early, so I brought you some-” she stopped short as she rested the two pizza boxes on the counter, “Dad?” she asked softly.

“Hey sweetheart, why doesn’t Luke have more decorations, it’s his apartment too,” her father said as he walked towards her. He stared towards her dad suspiciously as she shifted her gaze towards Luke. Luke simply shrugged as he excitedly jogged past her father and Y/N towards the pizza.

“He didn’t bring anything, not my fault,” she mumbled with a grin as she excitedly wrapped her arms around her fathers neck as he hugged her. “So-so you’re okay with this?” she asked as she glanced towards Luke who was already half way done with the slice he had grabbed.

“I want you happy, he makes you happy right?” he asked, eyeing Luke.

“So happy, Dad,” she mumbled as she glanced towards him, nudging him slightly.

“Sorry, starving. There’s enough for you too, Mr. Y/L/N,” he expressed as he lifted the cardboard of the pizza box again. Her father chuckled.

“Better grab a slice before this kid eats it all,” he joked as he took one. Y/N blinked away the happy tears forming in her eyes as she watched her father and Luke interact.

~~~

She sat on the bed, the blanket covering her lower frame as she clicked through the collection of movies on Hulu. She sighed as she watched Luke walk into their bedroom, black sweatpants low on his frame as he ran his fingers through his damp curly hair. She shifted her gaze towards him, her cheeks heating up as she scanned his shirtless frame.

His lips curled up in a small smirk as he stood beside her at the bed. “You okay?” he asked barely above a whisper as he ran his hand across her jawline. He forced her gaze towards him. She smiled as she met his gaze.

“I’m happy,” she mumbled. He smiled as he leaned towards her, delicately kissing her lips. He pulled away for a moment before he pecked her lips once more. “I love you,” she whispered.

He hummed happily as he climbed over her body as he plopped down beside her. “I love you more,” he whispered as he slowly climbed under the comforter. She clicked a random movie before she cuddled into Luke. Resting her head onto his bare chest, she could hear his heartbeat. Slow and content. “When your dad showed up earlier, I thought he was going to beat my ass,”

She chuckled softly as she ran her fingertip along his chest, drawing small circles. “He can’t hurt a fly,” she teased.

“Tell that to my head, still hurts from the panic attack I went through,” he said half joking. She lifted her head up, looking down towards him. She lifted her hand up as she caressed his cheek slowly. “God, you’re beautiful,” he mumbled as he scanned her features. Lifting his hand up, he took a hold of her neck, her hair cascading over his hand.

“I was just thinking the same thing about you,” she muttered, a teasing grin on her lips. “My pretty boy,” she whispered before she leaned towards him, kissing him softly.

326 notes · View notes

namism · 11 days ago

Text

take me back | hange zoë

➳ categories: modern au, ex hange, female reader, angst

➳ word count: 11.7k

➳ summary: Hange Zoë realized that they didn't account for a lot of things before ending your relationship.

➳ notes: for everyone's reference, nifa, abel, and keiji are members of the fourth squad (hange's squad) and this fic was lowkey inspired by the lyrics of "kiss me better" by rihanna (don't ask lmfao it's so random). also, if you'd like, please read this on ao3 instead as i worked my butt off coding (yes, i coded instead of using screenshots) your DM's with hange. the version on tumblr is just a bunch of words, so the ao3 version is worth the read! you can find the link below :)

➳ cross-posted on ao3

ONE.

Five seconds before Hange ended your relationship, they noticed their hand clench tightly into a fist.

Three seconds later, they relaxed their hand before sucking in a deep breath and saying the three words you had always dreaded.

"Let's break up."

After three minutes of constant denial, you finally sucked up to your lover's—ex-lover's—decision and promptly stormed out of your apartment. It wasn't until the next morning did you come back to the shared space to pack your things and leave, not even daring to look at Hange's direction as you stowed away items into numerous moving boxes.

Hange remembers telling themselves to behave before you visited the apartment one last time. Knowing themselves, they would have said something stupid with the intention of taking back their words to get you back. Just before you strutted into the living room, Hange talked themselves through their crazy ideas in the mirror, eventually deciding to withdraw to the confines of their study in fear of interfering with your purposeful packing and making matters worse.

Hange got the signal from your tabby cat that you were out the door when it started making noise at the entryway. Its nonstop meowing was the go-signal for Hange to emerge from their study to find the apartment completely dulled down as it lacked the color that once filled the room.

It wasn't until near midnight that they decided to get something to eat after more than 24 hours of not having had a proper meal. With the intention of snacking a bit before hopping back on call with Levi and Erwin (their current emotional support duo who were surprisingly amazing at providing comfort), Hange walked over to the fridge to grab something to eat. When they opened the refrigerator, however, a green sticky note posted on the door caught their attention.

Adjusting their crooked glasses, Hange read the writing aloud.

"Cat food in drawer. Ask Nanaba for feeding schedule. Molecular kits to be sent this week. Nori hidden in pantry. Check all sockets. Check stove. Prepped food in fridge..."

It was at that moment Hange knew how badly they messed up. Written telegraphically, you had fit as many words as you could in the little sticky note to list all the essentials that only you would know how to do around the flat and the ones that Hange easily forgot to do. As another wave of sadness washed over them, Hange bitterly ransacked the fridge for an apple and a bottle of beer with decent alcohol content, then retreated to their study where Levi and Erwin chastised them over the screen for doing dumb and dumber things.

That essentially sums Hange's first 72 hours after breaking your heart into a million pieces. As a research scientist who's been confined at the lab for the past 15 years, those were by far the most uneventful 72 hours of their life. Hange found themselves weeping, drinking beer, ranting to Erwin and a less interested Levi, and sleeping for a maximum of two hours before doing it all over again in a never-ending cycle. It momentarily stopped when they had to work first thing the following Monday, but they relapsed quickly once they arrived home.

Hange couldn't remember the last time they drank that much beer. Their diet got worse as time passed, and thankfully Levi seemed to notice as he had come to their rescue the following evening by giving—drugging?—Hange with a sufficient dosage of melatonin in the black tea he offered. Much to Levi's surprise, Hange was down in 20 minutes without noticing a damn thing. They woke up the next morning, feeling lighter and well-rested.

Unbeknownst to them, Levi continued the routine with an appropriate concentration of melatonin until Hange was stable enough to be told the truth. They weren't bothered by the idea and were frankly more grateful than surprised. Over time, Erwin would swing by to share a cup (minus the dosage) only to leave the apartment with Levi after tucking Hange neatly in bed. Hange would wake up, feel energetically amazing despite the inevitable emptiness in their heart, and go to work.

TWO.

If you told Hange Zoë four years ago that there would come a time in which they would do something as dumb as breaking up with the only woman they were ever attracted to, you would have been called insane.

To be clear, Hange was never big on physical attraction. They were attracted to the weirdest, nerdiest, most mystifying things in the world, but attraction to humans? Certainly not. Hange Zoë, PhD (aged 27 and a certified organic chemist who had made at least a hundred drug-dealing jokes in the past eight years of studying), couldn't concern themselves with romance when it never crossed their mind to begin with. The only types of attraction they ever concerned themselves with were intermolecular forces (which they very much enjoyed learning in sixth grade chemistry) until they met you.

You were the perfect woman. Of that, they were certain. You began as friends in Hange's final year in university for their Bachelor's degree, but your friendship continued until Hange was halfway through their Master's. At that point, Hange felt as though your relationship was pretty solid given how often you spoke and saw each other outside campus. Before they knew it, they found themselves falling for you, their thoughts being muddled by images of your sweet face during the most random times of the day. Hange was wrapped around your finger and they couldn't get themselves to stop.

A month after that realization, Hange decided to ask you out in their own fashion—casually, but enthusiastic. You began dating some time after that and your relationship had been going strong ever since.

Now, after calling off the relationship with four years of dating and no rocky bumps on the road, Hange does, indeed, feel like an idiot. An imbecile. A dumbass, even. Blockhead. Nitwit. Stupid twit. A cretin. Hange could open the Cambridge Thesaurus and list out the synonyms for "idiot" because that's exactly what they are and there is no way of redeeming them from it.

"I just wished you would make the effort to spend time with me!" you exclaimed, eyebrows knitting in sorrow rather than anger, like Hange expected. "You can't even help me clean because you're so busy at your job, like— like I don't even exist sometimes to you."

Hange understands that it's their fault, but they cringe every time they recall the argument that led to the ultimatum. It started on the wrong foot. Looking back at it now, they suppose it was a chain of misunderstandings, one piling onto the other, until the tension finally snapped and dragged both of you into a full-blown argument.

"When the hell did I ever make you feel that way?!" they barked back, eyes wide and irises firm. They looked at you, waiting for an answer. "See?! You can't even answer me! Ridiculous!"

"I'm just— I'm just disappointed, okay?! Fuck, I don't know..." Head falling to your palms, you wiped your face in a stressed motion. "You never, and I mean this, you never—not once in our relationship—ever misunderstood me, so what's gotten into you? Aren't you're so clever, huh?! High IQ, high EQ?"

"Oh, please, in what world would I forget that my girlfriend exists?!" they yelled. You flinched at their tone. "I don't ghost you, I don't ignore you— I come home late, but damn, you don't know the guilt that eats me up every night because the only times I see you are when I go to bed and leave for work—"

"And who's at fault for your guilt but you?!" you retorted. "Hange, you"—you shoved a finger to their chest—"you're the one who can't take care of yourself because you're so invested in everything but your life at home! We haven't gone out in three months, like— like don't you think that's strange? Everyone is getting married, having kids, fuck, even my juniors are on their third night out of the week, yet you can't even take care of yourself unless I do it for you!"

The truth is, being obsessed with your job and anything that has to do with it is also detrimental to everyone who loves you. It never crossed Hange's mind because they haven't had this much on their plate since you started dating. There was always some time allotted for you at the end of the day, but things started to change lately.

On top of their regular job at the lab, Hange has four other things to do: tutor high schoolers for their admissions tests, teach as a part-time lab instructor at a private university, be a loving partner to their girlfriend, and be an equally loving parent to their adopted cat. Life hadn't always been like this, but they found themselves taking up more responsibilities over time until it was physically impossible to rest on most days. They couldn't even enjoy their weekends, for goodness' sake (because the high schoolers would always come knocking in their emails with more questions)—but if they were to take a break, they would return a day later to even more work.

Hange is simply not the type of person to live a peaceful life. Their peace is chaos; it doesn't help their mood when they aren't working on anything that stresses them out. Perhaps that's just the person they are. It should be okay to be this way, to always be in constant motion as long as the heart is followed and their happiness is fulfilled, but it isn't because they're risking so much of your relationship the more they work, work, and work.

You've always been supportive, but even your unconditional support can't realistically understand their position. Or that's what Hange thinks. They assume as such because your lifestyle is much freer than theirs. You have more time to yourself despite your regular 9-to-5 job. You don't have responsibilities outside of it and your personal life at home. Because of it, you decided to handle the work at the flat; Hange never had time for it anyway, much to their dismay. They had always wanted to help, but their schedule just never allowed it.

After a while, the chores automatically became your responsibility and never theirs. You had no problem with this. Hell, you even enjoyed it—you bonded with Hange's friend Levi over being clean freaks together as you always hated seeing mess. Although the duty of cleaning and keeping everything in check (including Hange and their health) soon became an irksome chore rather than something you enjoyed for the fun of it. The less Hange spent time with you, the more it annoyed you. You felt used, like some sort of maid. It was not a problem when you volunteered in a compassionate understanding of Hange's circumstances, but the least they could do was to make up for it by arriving home early or spending even a moment of intimacy.

But no, they had been so busy about other things that they couldn't provide the time. You hadn't gone out in almost three months to grab something to eat or go somewhere fun like you used to. You would take each other out to places you've never been to before regardless of how low-budget it was. You would have been happy with a simple late night trip to a fast food chain if it meant having your partner to yourself after months of no quality time, but such a trip just never came to be.

Witnessing Hange have a destructive breakdown whenever they came home exhausted was an even bigger problem. They never cried, but they were always so close to it. You would hear their frustration at one o'clock in the morning or through your heavy eyelids after being awoken by their wailing. When it got mentally tough, you would offer to stay up with them for comfort, but you were always sent back to bed or, worse, shut out from their study, where they isolated themselves.

They were awfully good at taking care of anything and anyone but themselves, so you felt the need to do it for them. And overall, the cause of your separation was a problem built on top of another. It was why you were so agitated when Hange could barely spend time with you, but your intentions came out wrong. You had explained all of this to them as you argued, yet they misunderstood your concerns as an insult to their work and commitment to your relationship.

Hange rolled their eyes as you cried. They were tired and had no time for this. They were running late for class and figured it would be cancelled at the last second because of your argument.

"Okay, let's get this over with—"

"You're mean. You're so mean, Hange." You slapped their hand away when they tried to touch you. Hange's face turned sour at your reaction. You were still crying.

"Please, can we just stop this?" they asked, voice sounding impatient. You glared at them with all your anger, but your gaze softened when Hange returned a look, weariness written across their face.

"I would never, ever, do this to you if I lived your life," you said softly. Hange remained silent. "I can do it all for you, so why can't you do it for me?"

You were right. Even with your freer schedule, you kept yourself busy with maintaining things at home that it technically felt like a second job. It didn't help your feelings when Hange was oblivious to the work and effort you did. When they cried to Erwin and Levi about this, the pair had opened their eyes to your side of the conflict and made Hange understand. Truly, they didn't account for a lot of things before ending your relationship: from the responsibility of feeding your cat and cleaning the house to understanding your partner's feelings.

Levi called Hange a moron for making you upset and a four-eyed loser for prioritizing "that nerd shit" over you. He had known Hange since high school and was aware of their insatiable obsession with science, even going as far as to believing that they would earn a Nobel Prize in Chemistry one day. Hence, when you started going out, Levi knew that they had fallen for you deeply, and anything that would break your bond could only be explained by supernatural phenomena or Hange's bewildering stupidity.

That said, Levi did the best he could to make Hange understand your viewpoint while Erwin patched their empty heart with anything but beer, apples, and Levi's special melatonin-infused black tea. Hange felt better having understood your feelings, so the next logical step was to talk it out with you for proper closure.

Except they couldn't.

You had already blocked Hange's number just days after the breakup, and your friends—unsurprisingly—weren't about to offer them any help.

THREE.

"Thanks for all of this, Nanaba."

It turns out that even with Hange's attempts at achieving the perfect work-life balance, they still can't master the duty of being a proper owner for the cat. Hange called Nanaba the day they saw your sticky note on the fridge, and since then, they have been keeping in touch with her for the cat's essentials. Hange has also been trying to manage their time better as a way of retribution that they can do better for your relationship, even though they no longer have any means of telling you (which is the harsh reality that they don't want to accept).

"Pfft, don't question it!" Nanaba pats Hange's shoulder as the cat rubs itself on her legs. "I would do anything for this little one! I've grown to like Ion so much, I want to keep him forever!"

"If only Miche wasn't allergic, I'm sure Ion would love to be your new owner," Hange jokes, mentioning Miche, one of Nanaba's roommates.

"Oh, you're just saying that. I'm sure you're a great owner. Sometimes you simply don't have the time to be perfect, and that's okay!"

Nanaba leaves a few moments later after giving Ion a much-needed head pat. Afterward, Hange and the cat decide it would be best to lounge at the living room couch and stare at the ceiling to absorb the quiet.

Ion struts over to the empty space by Hange's feet and lays his body flat. A few seconds later, he conforms his body into the oh-so-famous "catloaf" position, hiding his limbs and tail under his chunky body. Closing his eyes, Ion drifts off to sleep while a laying Hange watches the feline.

Ion, a male orange tabby Persian cat, is the devil reincarnate who happens to be your and Hange's practice child. Hange remembers you describing Ion to be the real-life twin of Garfield, the fictional cat who happens to be of the same breed. They recall questioning your choice at the adoption center upon hearing your many complaints of the feline's behavior, but you shook your head and snuggled the animal in your neck.

"This one's okay," you told them. The cat purred. "I need a little shit for a cat to entertain myself with whenever you aren't around. Also, it should be good training for a kid in the future."

Hange recalls bringing the cat home after a long day and trying their best to make friends with it. You chose the cat yourself, so it liked you more than it did Hange, but it didn't take long for it to start liking them.

"Hey, it likes me!" Hange cheered to themselves as the cat rested on their chest. You smiled. "I can't wait for it to like me better than you."

"You wish!" you retorted, seething with jealousy.

The cat was nameless for a few days as the both of you tried to come up with the perfect name, opting to call it "The Cat" for the meantime. You were against the common ones in favor of unique names, but you were also against certain names that could fool people into mistaking your cat for a human.

Hange kept suggesting the strangest names that were more often than not derived from scientific terms—you liked most of them, but they sounded too scientific for an orange cat who spends most days lazing around the flat. For lack of a better word, they sounded out of character.

That was only until Hange came home from a productive day at the lab, where they toured a bunch of interns and introduced them to their stations.

"Knock, knock," they began. You didn't reply. "You're supposed to say, 'Who's there?'"

"Is this another orange joke?" you asked. Hange shook their head.

"No! It's even better than that. Knock, knock."

You rolled your eyes, laughing.

"Who's there?"

"Cation."

"Cation who?"

"Can't ion-ly knock once? I'm positive you'll open up!"

You snickered.

"You and your silly jokes. Please don't tell me you were telling the interns knock-knock jokes at the lab all day."

"Ha-ha." Hange laughed slowly. "Wow, you totally figured it out!"

Suddenly, The Cat leaped onto Hange's shoulder, frightening them momentarily before being seized. The Cat struggled in Hange's arms as your partner hadn't learned the proper ways of holding a cat yet, but The Cat eventually nestled on their chest. A bright idea came to mind.

"Hange," you called out to them in excitement. They looked at you, intrigued. "What do you call a meowing ion?"

They thought about it silently.

Once they realized, they held up The Cat in the air, effectively surprising the feline.

"A cation!" they answered. They swayed The Cat around swiftly, confusing the poor animal who had no clue of what was to come. "You're a genius, (Y/N)! We should call this one Ion!"

It was a simple but nice name, one that you liked enough to give your partner the go-signal to name the cat as such. Ion seemed to like his name as he picked up on it quickly. It took him a week to get used to the one-syllable three-lettered name before it occurred to him that his two owners identified him with it.

At present, Hange watches Ion open his eyes and hop on the coffee table, sniffing the black tea they had prepared for themselves (this time, melatonin-free). Suddenly, he spots a particular item on the open shelf by the television and jumps over to inspect it, prompting Hange to move.

"No, Ion, get away from there."

Hange stands up from the couch and walks toward the cat. They heave it from the shelf with skilled hands, but it refuses to be picked up as it clings to a picture frame, its claws digging into the glass. Ion hugs the frame for dear life, but its grasp isn't enough to support the weight. One wrong move and it will fall.

"Ugh, put that down, you little cat! If that breaks, I swear to god!"

They manage to get the item out of its grasp when Ion is distracted. Hange decides to put the frame on their work desk in the study room, the one space in the entire apartment that the mischievous cat rarely enters, and believes it to be a fool-proof plan.

Despite all efforts, however, Ion leaps from Hange's hold and onto their work desk.

"Ion!" They grumble in frustration, seeing the cat sniff the picture frame and sit beside it. The photograph is special; it was a photo of you and Hange on your first anniversary that they never bothered to put down after the breakup because they've been clinging on to the little shimmer of hope that you would come back. It's one of the few traces they have left of you at home (and they're eternally grateful that you decided to leave it), so if the cat breaks it, it's over.

Another wave of sadness washes over them when Ion caresses the glass with his paw. Hange notices how he paws your face in the photograph, clearly missing your presence. They frown.

"I know, Ion. I miss her, too." They rub the cat's fur comfortingly. "I'm sorry for being stupid. If I could let you see her again, I would."

And they mean that. The cat misses you dearly and it breaks Hange's heart to imagine that it probably thinks you're dead. Hange isn't too deep into zoology to know if animals can understand human conflict, but they most likely don't. They suppose cat and human break ups are different.

Ion meows as his owner picks him up with a tight grip. He tries to reach out to the frame once more with his stubby limbs as Hange pulls him away from the desk, but he unleashes his claws in protest and grips Hange's shoulder in a devious attack.

"Ow— what the fuck!" Hange hisses as Ion's claws dig deep into their shoulder. They let go of Ion as he leaps back on top of the table, sitting beside the picture frame once more.

They palm their scratched shoulder, glaring at the cat.

"Alright, you want to stay in here like a sulking loser?! Fine by me!"

Hange leaves the study with the door open and the light fixture turned on just so they wouldn't forget to retrieve Ion later. As they walk to the bathroom to wash the wound and rub it with an ointment, they put on some music with the iPad Mini they rarely use.

When the device connects to their home network, a notification instantly appears on screen.

(Y/N) (L/N) recently added to their story.

Hange stands in front of the mirror, dumbfounded.

Not knowing what to do, they simply stare at the notification with raised eyebrows, feeling their chest get heavier by the second. They have an internal argument with their imaginary shoulder devil, who tempts them into clicking the notification. Nothing can go wrong, right? Well, it's just social media—yet their angelic side knocks into their conscience in hopes of waking them up from the temptation, serving as some sort of warning for any consequence that is to come the moment they snoop around your social media. Hange doesn't do anything long enough for the notification banner to disappear, effectively sealing their decision to ignore it—

Hange clicks on the notification at the last second.

The Instagram app opens, then it loads the first photo you added to your story an hour ago.

Great job, Hange. You're responsible for your actions and for your broken heart! They think.

Once your Instagram story loads, Hange recognizes you in a group photo with your friends from university. Dressed in comfortable clothing and makeup done so beautifully, Hange thinks you look stunning as usual. You look no different from the last time they saw you, but they're not quite sure how you're doing behind the sweet smile you have on your face.

Or perhaps they're just projecting their own sadness and can't fathom the idea of you moving on from them. It's a selfish thought coming from the person who initiated the break up, but they yearn so hard for you to still be in love with them against all odds.

Who's a sulking loser now? They think again.

They tap through your story, thoughts continuing to barrage their mind until the last one catches them off guard.

It seems pretty normal: a photo of the sunset with a song from an artist you like playing in the background, not until they notice the little green icon at the topmost part of the screen. They're still in your Close Friends.

They squint their eyes and read the small text at the bottom of the image.

let me see ion one more time pls. i miss everything

"What the hell?"

Breathing in deeply, Hange steps away from the iPad in shock. Dramatic, they know—and there is absolutely no way that this is real since they have been blocked from your contacts just a few days after the breakup, but knowing you, this is something that you would totally do. And it's not like you voiced out to see them—you wanted to see Ion, the cat. Hange should be jealous that the cat gets your attention in this scenario, but knowing you (yet again), you would never be the one to articulate that kind of desire. Regardless, Hange knows that you still want them. Or they pray that you do.

You must. You have to.

Hange is just surprised that they chanced upon your story since they haven't opened their Instagram account in months, and truth be told, they only had one for the sake of having a social media presence that isn't Facebook. Suddenly, the pain in their shoulder fades away, and their only goal is to find some way to respond without sounding like a selfish asshole.

They should post a story with just you in their Close Friends, something that would totally shock you like how you shocked them. Hange believes it's an amazing plan until they try to execute it. Well, they had never posted anything on their story before. Everything that they ever posted on the platform went directly to their feed which over time became a messy jumbled dump of random photos. They don't have many followers, either. You had once called them a "shitposter" with a "garbage dump of a feed", which tells Hange enough that they probably shouldn't proceed with the plan.

So, they settle for your private messages with a direct reply to your story.

Upon opening your direct messages, however, Hange's heart sinks. You didn't block them on Instagram, much less take down the customized settings in your private chat, so everything stayed the same as before as if nothing ever happened: your nickname is still "My Darling Dearest", while theirs is a matching "my beloved". Your chat theme is still the "Love" theme on Instagram with your back-and-forth messages colored pink.

Hange thinks of what to say, what to type. This will be your first conversation since the breakup, after all. They shouldn't mess it up by saying something stupid.

An idea comes to mind. Hange hurriedly exits the bathroom, iPad Mini in hand, and enters their study. They find Ion in the same position as before, laying beside your picture frame as he paws on your photograph. Hange tucks the iPad in between their armpit and seizes Ion from behind.

"A-ha! Gotcha!" Rejoicing, Hange carries the cat out of the study as he instantly goes feral in their hold. They restrain his paws as much as they can while they talk Ion into doing them a favor. "Please, Ion, don't you want to see your mother again? (Y/N)?"

At the sound of your name, the cat calms down and Hange sighs.

Man, this cat has issues.

With the behaved cat, Hange sits on the couch and places Ion on their lap, belly facing them. The cat looks at them in confusion, watching his owner pull out the iPad and excitedly open the Camera app to take a photo of his vulnerable form.

"Mrao?" the cat asks.

"Just stay still," they order.

Ion makes a face of disapproval and shuts his eyes tightly, stretching his limbs out as he tries to contain his annoyance. He wants to see you again, even if it means just staring at your photograph and burning your image in his head, as opposed to being captured and taken photos of like a show animal. He loves Hange for feeding him and taking care of him, but why would they separate him from you? He misses you so much.

"Looks good enough." Ion hears Hange mumble to themselves. He meows another time in a questioning tone to ask if the job is finally done so that he can go back to admiring your photograph. When Hange puts him down on the ground, he bolts for the study.

Meanwhile, Hange stares at the messages they had sent you on Instagram.

my beloved: Heyy... Ion misses you too... my beloved: Attached Image my beloved: hahahahhaaafh :') Seen

They sound like a nervous wreck, akin to a middle schooler who's confessing to someone for the very first time in fear of rejection. Hange doesn't expect you to reply right away, so they stow away the iPad on the coffee table while they scream into one of the couch pillows to relieve their stress. Suddenly, the device vibrates.

Hange is looking at the notification in no time.

My Darling Dearest: thank you

Their heart leaps out of their chest. You replied. You actually replied. It's a simple thank you that probably doesn't mean much to anyone else, but it means the entire world to them given the current circumstances. Hange breaks into a grin as they stand up from the couch and pace around the living room, rereading your two-word reply over and over again.

my beloved: Of course of course, don't mention it!!! my beloved: Sorry for the exclamation points, I'm not shouting :( Seen

Their celebration ends quickly, however, as Hange curses to themselves upon typing a stupid response with the apology at the end. They take a deep breath. Okay, Hange. Don't mess this up now!

They watch as the read receipt appears at the bottom of their message. A small bubble with three dots appears then disappears every so often. You continue to type for the next 30 seconds and Hange grows anxious.

When you don't reply, their shoulders fall.

"Just my luck," they mutter. Hange is left at read even after six minutes of waiting. At this point, they can't identify the best course of action after getting ignored. They guess that it's better than being left at delivered, and that they should be grateful that you replied in the first place, so they exit the app and admit defeat.

But they come back running a minute later after having realized that they should initiate. Of course you wouldn't want to talk to Hange after they broke your heart—even if you still love them dearly, it's only appropriate if you refrain from any kind of interaction... yet you had replied to their message when you could have just totally ghosted them, removed your cute chat decorations, and blocked them on every social media platform there is to exist.

Hange isn't giving up on your relationship. They can't give up on you.

my beloved: To tell you the truth, I saw your story earlier and I figured that you might want to see Ion again my beloved: I understand if you don't want to see me, but I can drop him off my beloved: He misses mom a lot! D: Seen

Hange observes just how fast you read their message and smiles to themselves when they see you typing. They're glad they pulled the "our-son-misses-you" card as it seemed to be enough to get your attention. Hange looks at their study, remembering the cat who's snuggled up with your photo. Ion would be more than delightful to hear about this.

My Darling Dearest: tomorrow 2 PM. my beloved: Oh okay!! my beloved: May I ask where? 😅 My Darling Dearest: i'm staying at nifa's my beloved: We will be there! Seen

Hange giggles, kicking their feet. They throw the iPad on the couch and run to the study. Picking up Ion from the work desk, they hoist the cat in the air as they celebrate. "We did it! We're seeing (Y/N) tomorrow!"

"Miaow!"

"I know! Okay, I'm giving you a bath tonight." Hange puts him down and lets the cat roam free. Suddenly, they remember that they have work tomorrow. It's currently Sunday afternoon and their workload is calling their name. "Fuck."

Running their fingers through their hair, they shake their head. It shouldn't matter. They have more important things to attend to.

FOUR.

"Look, I'm sorry for being an asshole. I reflected on everything I said the past month and I understand that I was wrong. Please, from the bottom of my heart, can you give me a second chance?"

"Wrrrao!"

"Ugh, get up. We're both bad at this."

Ion meows angrily a second time when Hange picks him up. It's his call of hunger. He demands food and water because he's Hange's (and your) precious cat who can do no wrong, like the king of the flat, the king of everything. Hange situates Ion on their shoulder and lets him balance there as they prepare the cat food that Nanaba had sent yesterday. He smugly watches Hange plate his meal and promptly hops off their shoulder once they put his pet bowl on the ground. While Ion digs into his breakfast, Hange disappears into the bedroom and locks themselves inside to be left alone with their thoughts.

Ever since you consented to seeing Ion—and Hange—yesterday afternoon, they decided to call in sick at work. Once that problem was out of the way (which, to their surprise, was a fairly easy process), they decided to craft an apology to rehearse if they ever find the time to insert a small discussion in your "casual" meeting.

"That's great to hear, Hange!" Erwin told them last night over FaceTime. Hange had to break the news to someone other than the cat, and since Erwin (and Levi) had been there for them since day one, they decided to tell him immediately. They were hoping to get his opinion on the matter, maybe some word of advice and a 101 on "how-to-approach-your-ex-girlfriend". But Erwin was empty-handed, equally clueless as he hadn't been in their shoes before; he never tried to get back together with an ex. He was hopeful, though. "Sorry about that. In any case, I believe you can handle it on your own. No one knows her better than you."

But Hange isn't handling this as well as they'd hoped. Usually quick with words, they thought finding the right ones for their apology would come naturally, but it hasn't. Every attempt feels clumsy, every phrase falls short. The weight of the moment presses on them, and the uncertainty of how this meeting will unfold only makes it worse. It could go right, or it could go wrong—but Hange can't shake the sinking feeling that the odds of success have never felt slimmer.

Hange wonders what's running through your mind. Did you sleep well last night after your conversation? Are your friends warning you it's a bad idea to meet up with your ex? Or maybe you're considering canceling altogether? They figure that's unlikely, though—after all, you've missed Ion like crazy. Your bond with Ion (Hange chuckles softly at their own chemistry joke) is far too strong for you to say no to seeing him. Still, they wouldn't blame you if you canceled. After all, who'd want to face the person who shattered their heart?

Regardless, Hange has been rehearsing countless scenarios, crafting a plan for every possible outcome if things don't go their way. They've already revised their apology at least four times, hoping one version will hit the right note when they see you this afternoon. In one scenario, they picture knocking on your old friend and roommate Nifa's door, leaving Ion on the doorstep, and waiting out of sight until you step outside to find him sitting there, alone on the mat. Then, they'd emerge—calm, composed—and launch into their carefully prepared speech. In another, they imagine standing at the doorway, holding Ion and a bouquet of flowers, their nerves barely hidden. They'd offer you both—flowers and cat alike—with a heartfelt apology for their foolish mistakes, hoping it's enough to bridge the gap they created.

As they sit in silence, though, Hange thinks they're going overboard. You would probably appreciate it if they brought you something other than the cat, but spoiling you with flowers and some other romantic shit when you aren't together anymore just sounds... pathetic. Pitiful. It feels like they're begging for your love through material possessions when they shouldn't. They hurt you with their words, their gestures, so they might as well patch it up by promising to do better and showing it all through their actions.

So Hange arrives with just the cat. No flowers, no chocolates, none of that romantic stuff. Just them, Ion, their keys, and wallet.

Breathing in, Hange rings the doorbell. They arrived pretty early—it's still 1:46 PM, but your and Nifa's old apartment used to be on the other side of town so they had to leave the flat early. As they wait to be let in, they stroke Ion's orange fur and pray to a transcendent being that everything will be okay.

FIVE.

A month away from Hange feels longer than it should have been. A month is a year in your book, and on some days, it feels even longer.

It's the aftermath of a breakup—an unwelcome shadow that lingers over your life. Even with a regular job to keep you busy, Hange's words haunt you, often pushing you to the brink of a breakdown. You can't seem to escape it. The moment you're alone with nothing to distract you, the discomfort creeps in, settling like a heavy knot in your stomach. Whether it lasts three minutes or five, it always ends the same, your tears threatening to spill as the weight becomes too much to bear.

To your luck, your old roommate Nifa had provided you amazing company while you tried to mend your broken heart. You met her in university when you moved out from your hometown and lived within the residence halls for the duration of your undergraduate program. When your friend group expanded, the both of you moved out of the dorms with Abel and Keiji into a four-bedroom apartment near campus, which became your home until you decided to move in with Hange three years ago. Hence, when you stormed out of your apartment after the breakup with nothing but your phone and wallet, Nifa was the first person you called.

She welcomed you to your old home with open arms, followed by Abel and Keiji who came running back home to tackle you into a group hug. You had been away for so long that they almost didn't recognize you—you had grown since you had last seen them five months ago, but you ought to think that it was the stress taking a toll on your body.

The merriment of your return drifted away as you explained to the boys why you visited. They comforted you for the rest of the evening and offered every kind of help. To say they were disappointed about the news was an understatement. Abel and Keiji were upset to learn the details, while Nifa exploded into flames—they found it absurd that Hange broke up with you and not the other way around.

"Seriously, why would someone do that to the sweetest girl out there?!" Nifa exclaimed, eyebrows knitted and face evidently furious.

You agreed with them. It was quite strange that Hange ended your relationship for that reason when it was something you could have made amends with. You had never fought in your relationship as any issue encountered was almost immediately solved with proper communication. It had always been that way since you started noticing Hange's workaholic attitude, which merely turned out for the worst.

You were lonely. On some days, you felt unloved. Hange couldn't spare you a glance as you made breakfast in the morning because they would be working away at the study the moment they woke up. The longest stretch without any real acknowledgment from them lasted four days, and it drove you mad. It was a cycle of waking up, going to work, and going to bed without them, and you had never felt more distant. You tried to invite them out to dinner in hopes of rebuilding your relationship, but you were always politely turned down.

That was arguably the worst part: they weren't mean about it. In fact, Hange seemed genuinely apologetic every time they declined. Yet as the days dragged on, the apologies began to sting. It didn't feel like them to refuse you so often. They had always loved going out with you, and even when work consumed their time in the past, they had always found a way to make room for you. This wasn't the Hange you knew.

What changed? You had wondered. Hange was always running around doing things and you were aware of that. They could never sit still because there was always something that they wanted to work on. You loved that about them; it was what you found interesting about Hange that made you fall for them harder. There is great honor in working so scholarly at a lab day and night and you couldn't be any prouder, but to do so in excess transformed it into a vice that hurt the both of you deeply.

Hange didn't know how to take care of themselves until you came into the picture. Their obsession with constantly working on things hindered them from eating regularly or looking after themselves. When their schedule got tighter the past few months and you witnessed their health deteriorating like a decreasing health bar in a video game, you got mad. Call it motherly girlfriend instincts and whatnot, but you were bothered by it.

"You didn't eat your food." You frowned upon seeing the small container with the food you cooked that morning. "What the— Hange! Why is your water bottle still full?!"

It was excessive. They weren't eating the food you packed them yet they would have the audacity to come up to you a few days later with a growling, aching stomach. "I swear, if you develop an ulcer, what are we going to do?!" You would cook for Hange whenever that happened, whether it be at 10 in the evening or two in the morning. Whenever they needed something, you were up and standing, ready to help them with whatever—and it was exactly why it hurt so much when they couldn't even hang out with you like you used to.

"I can do it all for you, so why can't you do it for me?"

Nonetheless, you didn't want to break up. No, that wasn't the best decision. It never was and it never will be. Hange is a scientist with a passion for learning, so surely they can learn to be better, yet they ended your relationship like they weren't willing to.

And even after weeks of not having Hange by your side, it still pissed you off so much that they couldn't just listen to you or make the commitment to do so. You couldn't suppress your anxiety either. Everyday, you would think about how they're doing without you being there to maintain things at home. You doubt the note you left by the fridge was enough to keep them going. While they eventually had to learn how to do things without you, there's a discomfort at the pit of your stomach that they wouldn't be able to live like normal without you around. Their regular job requires lots of time and attention on top of the many other commitments they have—hell, they probably will struggle with taking care of the cat!

Although the wound in your heart faded as time passed. While you still worried for Hange, your hurt became anger and anger became misery. You were upset—so upset, and you miss Hange (and Ion) so badly. Moving out of your apartment with not even a single word of closure stung so badly as if a part of your soul left and never returned. You would do anything in your power to get back together with them again, but was it a good decision to initiate?

"Especially when they ended it first?" Nifa spoke, rubbing her knees with cold hands as she sat across you on the living room floor. You had asked her if it was a good idea to ever come running back to an ex, to give them a second chance to make things better. "Usually not, but this kind of scenario often plays out for cheaters. Maybe it wouldn't be bad to get back together."

"I second that," Keiji said, seated on the armchair. "If they still don't change, make sure to end it once and for all."

"I wouldn’t initiate it myself," Abel added. Nifa shot him a pointed look, but he continued. "They broke up with you. No offense, but do yourself a favor—don’t go making a fool of yourself chasing after someone when you’re not even sure they want you back. If Hange wants to reconcile, let them do the begging."

You took their advice and followed your heart. You wanted to get back together because you weren't letting a single argument be the end of your relationship, and if Hange didn't want to restore your connection, you at least wanted some form of closure. On top of that, you wanted to see your cat.

So you distracted yourself.

You waited for them to reach out. Right after the breakup, you had blocked Hange's number partly to avoid the inevitable messages, knowing full well they'd try to reach out after a couple of days of silence. But you weren't ready to talk at the time, so their contact remained blocked for an entire week while you sorted through your emotions and sought advice from your friends. Eventually wanting to hear from them, you unblocked their number and left the door open for them to message you, but to your dismay, the days passed in silence and Hange hadn't reached out at all.

You looked through your private messages on different platforms yet you didn't receive any word from them. Your heart sunk at the revelation. Maybe Hange didn't want to talk to you. After all, they hid themselves inside their study when you came back to the apartment the morning after the breakup to pack your things into boxes. Maybe Hange truly didn't want to talk.

Grief consumed you in the days that followed, yet you couldn't bring yourself to reach out, afraid it would only deepen your pain. If nearly three weeks had passed without a word from Hange, it had to mean they were done with you, didn't it? Still, you clung stubbornly to the faint hope that they'd reach out one day. As the silence stretched on, however, the weight of waiting became too much to bear, and you knew you had to do something about it.

You couldn't stand it anymore. Waiting around for nothing just made you more anxious than you already were, so off to Instagram you went, removing everyone in your Close Friends except Hange. You knew they rarely spent time online except for networking sites like LinkedIn and ResearchGate, but you wanted to send some kind of signal without being too obvious.

You had gone out with your roommates the day you posted the story, so if Hange ever decided to open their Instagram after months of inactivity, it wouldn't be too obvious that you posted. When the post went through, you held your breath and ditched your phone to calm your raging nerves.

Will it work? Will they even see it? You thought to yourself, hopeful about the outcomes.

After an hour of waiting, however, you didn't hear anything from them. No view receipt, no new message, nothing. It didn't hurt that much since Hange rarely opened Instagram in the first place, but you were hoping that they would at least have the idea of coming online to check your account. Yet their account showed no activity, the green dot at the side of their profile picture missing every time you checked.

Suddenly, your phone vibrated. A notification went through.

my beloved Heyy... Ion misses you too...

The rest was history. You managed to arrange a meeting with Hange the following day under the guise of meeting Ion, but you hadn't done so without prancing around your room like a panicking idiot. You hadn't told anybody about posting your story in fear of jinxing things, so you replied to Hange with no one's help but yourself.

Now, you sit at the dining table with your roommates, who bicker over Keiji's homemade lunch about a manga series they've been following. You eat your food in silence as you think of a way to tell your friends that you had invited Hange over for a casual meeting in two hours, but you're left dry with ideas.

Eventually, it comes out of your mouth.

"What?" Abel mumbles to himself, freezing midair with the serving spoon and a bowl of chicken in his hands. Keiji drops his fork.

"You did what?!" Nifa screeches, followed by an apology from Abel for her indecency. "Girl, I— sorry, you invited them here? Like, you aren't joking?"

"Listen, I"—you gulp—"I invited them because I wanted to see the cat."

"Never mind the cat. Your ex is still coming," Nifa points out.

"Of course, I know that—"

"Are you sure about this?" Abel asks. Your eyes fall down to your plate. "Just so we're clear, we're not mad at you for having them over."

"I understand," you reply.

"We're worried for you."

"I understand that, too," you say. Abel is silent. "Look, I know it sounds dumb, but I promise I didn't invite them over just like that. I truly did want to see Ion and I wasn't expecting a reply."

"What did you do?" Keiji asks. You tell him about your elaborate plan and he nods his head in approval. "Wow. You have insane luck."

"I do, and I just— I meant it when I said that I didn't expect it, okay? You all know Hange, they're... chronically offline. Not that good with social media."

Nifa snorts. "Yeah, you could say that again. I'm surprised they even knew how to reply to an Insta story." Mashing her chicken with her fork, she clears her throat. "Well, I guess we should get going ASAP."

"You aren't mad?" you ask, surprised.

"I don't see the point. You should live your life the way you want to," she says. "Also, it makes us feel better that you're here because of a misunderstanding and not any of that cheating bullshit."

"I would have ripped their throat out if you had come here for that." Keiji seethes. You giggle.

"Don't worry. You'll never have to."

"Ugh, why am I tearing up?" Nifa dramatically pauses. She lets go of her utensils and leans over to your side. "God, come here for a hug!"

"Group hug!" Keiji rejoices, his hands automatically locating your head and giving you a couple of pats. Abel follows suit, leaning next to you.

"Just don't hurt yourself," he says as he embraces you back. Keiji and Nifa nod.

"I won't. I promise."

SIX.

Your roommates left the apartment after they finished cleaning up. They promised to hang out for a few hours at a nearby café and that they would be one call away in case you needed anything. They trusted that you and Hange won't go batshit crazy at the apartment, but if it ever came down to that, Keiji and Abel promised to arrive in three minutes tops.

The clock ticks by as the silence envelopes the apt. You're sitting on the arm of the couch as you bounce your knee impatiently. It's 1:45 PM, exactly 15 minutes before your scheduled meeting, yet you're already stationed by the door.

You inhale sharply when the doorbell rings.

Standing from the couch, you approach the entrance. You look through the peephole to check the new arrival, and your heart swells upon seeing a patch of orange fur in Hange's arms.

It's now or never.

You open the door.

"Hi. I'm here, like you asked... ha-ha." Hange laughs slowly, the awkwardness sinking in. When silence falls in the air, they look at the cat and offer him to you. "Um, anyway, here's Ion, the cat. Our cat... that we, um, co-parent together— sorry, was that term triggering? Whatever. Anyway, here he is— oh, uhuh, yep— Ion, relax!"

Ion leaps into your arms the moment he realizes that you're in front of him. You look the same as the last time he saw you, your features still recognizable by his little cat brain. Ion is also delighted to see that you aren't crying anymore. When you dashed in and out of the apartment a month ago with tears falling on your face, he couldn't handle the fear and confusion that consumed him.

The moment you catch the cat, you hold him close to your chest and snuggle his head into your shoulder. Ion does so obediently, sniffing you in the process to refresh his memory with your scent. Hange watches the scene unfold in front of them, their heart warming up and a big smile appearing on their face as Ion happily purrs in your hold. Leaning on the door, they allow themselves to get lost at the warm sight in front of them, nostalgic of the domestic life with you and your feline child.

When Ion calms down, you thank Hange sheepishly.

"Well," you start after a few seconds of quiet, "are you just going to stand there?"

"Oh." Hange's eyes shoot up. "You want me to...?"

You sigh. "Just come in."

Hange follows your request and slowly walks in the apartment. As you close the door, they look around to observe. So much has changed since the last time they visited. It's a much bigger space compared to your shared one on the other side of town to house four people, and although your creative touch is initially unrecognizable as opposed to the old days, Hange figures out that if they look hard enough, they can see your touches here and there—the flower vase at the foot of the TV and the little figurines inside the glass shelf by the dining room corner are household articles that only they can recognize in familiarity.

"Are your roommates home?" they ask. You shake your head. "So that leaves the both of us here... alone?"

You sit yourself on the couch and release Ion to let him explore the apartment. Hange cautiously occupies the space beside you, leaving some space in between to make things less awkward.

You bat your eyelashes. Nodding your head, you purse your lips and decide to let your actions do the talking. You still aren't sure if you want to initiate the conversation, so you leave the opportunity for Hange to grab.

And they notice. Taking a deep breath in, Hange decides it's the perfect time to address the elephant in the room.

"I'm sorry," they say softly. Rubbing their hands together, they decide at the last second to ditch their script and just go for it. You listen intently. "I thought about it after you moved out. I've done wrong in the past, but this has to be the pinnacle of my mistakes. I was mad, and I didn't realize the weight of my words until you left... I'm sorry."

"Is that all?"

"No." They shake their head. "Of course not. I would say more, but it gets overwhelming." Hange turns their head to the side and meets your eyes for the first time in a month. You allow them to look. "What do you want to know?"

You shift in your seat.

"Why you broke up with me." Hange looks away when they hear the sadness in your voice. "Why you thought breaking up was the best decision at that time."

"I didn't," they say. "I eventually regretted it. I still do."

"But you just let me be." You frowned. "You didn't... you didn't chase after me, you didn't run after me when I left the next day. I didn't even receive a single message after two weeks—"

"You know I wanted to," Hange cuts you off, looking back at you with a pained expression. "But I had to stop myself. I couldn't start begging you to come back without considering your feelings. What kind of person would that make me, if not even more selfish?"

They lean forward, elbows on their knees as they stare into nothingness. "I was angry. Stubborn, but angry. When you nagged at me, I just— I just wanted you away. I didn't want to be disturbed and it annoyed me when you did because I was working. I did it to push you away even though it wasn't the best decision."

"That was a mistake, Hange," you remark. Hange mutters a quick, "I know," in response. "Did you think that I could do better?"

"You could say that. For the longest time, I never thought of one to be less sufficient than the other. We were great, but I couldn't meet your needs as well as before when things were becoming busy." Hange rests their forehead on the heels of their palms and shuts their eyes. "I wanted focus. I didn't want distractions, and more importantly, I was tired."

Expression turning sour, you say, "Distraction? Our relationship was a distraction, was that it?"

"It," Hange hesitates, "it was what I thought."

Leaning back on the couch, you look away from Hange as their words sink in. Your eyes well up with tears, an irksome occurrence amid the exchange. You promised yourself earlier that you wouldn't cry as you had already done enough in the past few weeks, but they just come, and you make no effort to stop them.

"Even after everything I did?"

Hange heeds the hurt in your voice, prompting them to come closer in response for comfort.

"I-I'm sorry. I promise you, I thought things out when you were gone and I regret it. I really do!"

"A distraction," you choke out. "Ugh, god. I've never heard that one before."

"I'm sorry..." Hange says for the nth time that day. They try to come closer to see your face, but you avoid them. "I didn't have my priorities straight. I always made time for you in the past, but I just got so obsessed and I— I'm so sorry."

No response. You let your tears run while you cry in silence. Hange doesn't know what to do and the panic settles in.

"Hey… I realized how hard it was to live without you, so I'm here to talk it out." You sniff. Hange is starting to crumble. "Baby, I'm a difficult person who had an easier life because of you. In hindsight, you were no distraction. I thought that way because I was an obsessive freak, and I hate myself for hurting you! I've gotten even crankier to the point of drinking Levi's melatonin black tea, and— and—"

Ion suddenly hops on you, finding his normal spot on your lap before you decided to one day disappear from his life. Surprised, you let the cat sit on your lap as he meows anxiously at the tension in the air. Hange breathes in.

"The cat!" They cry. "The cat misses you! He scratches me like I'm a walking cat scratcher every time he demands to see you. He's been wondering where his mother went because she hasn't been home in a month!"

Hange watches Ion purr against your touch, enjoying your company as he realizes that you aren't dead after all, just gone for a very long time. He turns around from his seated position on your lap to lay on his back, his tummy showing and vulnerable to you, a sign of trust toward his owner.

Hange's heart sinks another time when you pull Ion close after wiping your tears away, a bittersweet pang reminding them of the days when they could simply glance at you and the cat, content in the quiet comfort of your shared space as they worked in their study. For what feels like the hundredth time that day, regret wells up, filling the hollow ache in their chest. If it weren't for your presence keeping them anchored, they might have broken down completely right then and there.

"I'm sorry," they choke out as they gently reach for your hand and hold it in theirs, possibly for the final time. They know there isn't a single word, phrase, or sentence out there that can articulate the graveness of their apology, but they hope to get it across as much as they can. "I'm an asshole for coming here in the first place, but if it means getting proper closure and allowing our cat to see you again, I don't regret it. I hope you can forgive me for invading your space."

You sigh. "That's enough, Hange."

"Huh?" They drop your hand in response, afraid of what's to come.

"I get it. You're sorry for what you did." Ion rolls around in your lap, soon standing on his hind legs with his forelegs reaching out to you for a hug. You hug him back. "I'm just, um, I'm just worried now, and I've been worried. How were you? Were you doing okay?"

Hange exhales in relief. "Dear, you didn't have to worry about me."

You frown.

"No, love. I want to worry about you. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't?" Hange's heart skips a beat when you call them with the term of endearment. "So? How was life then?"

"I reached the conclusion that being single isn't good for me." They pout. They hold your hand again. "I struggled so much alone. I survived, but surviving isn't living. Life felt empty when I didn't have the sweetest girl making me happy."

"You're just saying that."

"No, I mean it! I love living with you, I love loving you. I know I can do that even when we're not together, but it makes my life so much fuller when you're in the picture."

They look down at Ion, who looks at them from his peripheral vision like he's judging them dramatically.

"You and Ion, of course."

"Mrrao!"

Snuggling with Ion, you kiss his nose. He purrs back in contentment.

"I just... I didn't feel as loved as I used to," you say. "I love living my life knowing that it's you who I end up with, but I must have loved you too hard. Maybe I love you too much because I want to spend more time with you, to always be around you."

"And you aren't selfish for that," Hange declares. "You deserve to be loved for the woman you are and for the love you give. You did so much for me, yet I didn't pay you back. You had every right to complain. Now that you have, I hope to make things right and compensate you for all the times I acted so dumbly. I'll make time for you again and I'll take care of myself better—I promise."

"But how do I know that you're telling the truth?" you whisper. Second chances are hard to come by. To give an ex this special chance to make things right doesn't happen to just anyone, and it rarely even works out the second time around. What is Hange willing to do for you when you've already done so much for them? "Tell me what you're willing to do. How do I know, Hange?"

"Because I called off everything I had to do today just to come here." Hange smiles a bit. That's your cue to realize that they did, indeed, skip work today just to visit you and iron things out. It's a Monday afternoon, and Hange could have simply taken a half-day shift, but they decided against it entirely. "And, as a matter of fact, I would do it again, and again, and again."

"Oh, Hange, don't waste your—"

"No, no! You got the wrong idea!" they exclaim. "I'm not going to take the entire week off just to prove a point briefly and go back to being a douchebag the following week. I figured that, out of everything, temperance is a virtue that I should work on. I want to be there for you when you need me and I will be there."

Your tears have dried at this point, having left a puffy texture on your eyes. Hange carefully massages your hand in theirs as you find the right words to say.

"Promise me this, Hange."

"I promise."

"Then kiss me if you want to seal it."

With a big grin on their face, Hange leans forward and wraps their hands around your body, laughing softly as Ion looks up in between the both of you with curious eyes. Hange pats his head, mumbles a quick apology to the cat, and kisses you gently with that silly grin still on their face. You kiss them back slowly, heart warming up to the sweet moment of having your partner back into your life to complete your little family of three.

Hange pulls away, but they stay close to you, their hands cupping your face. "I missed you so badly."

"I missed you, too. Being away from you killed me more than being with you all the time. Believe it or not, it felt more toxic." You sigh. "I want to move back in, but you need to give me a few days to… well, process things."

"Of course, take your time as needed. I can't just steal you a second time from your roommates, you know?" Hange jokes as they stroke your cheek.

"I stole you from Erwin and Levi," you deadpan, "but yes, it should be fine. Just give me time to say goodbye and pack my things."

Hange looks over to the side. A part of them feels guilty for taking you away from your roommates so easily. "You don't have to move in right away if you still want to stay here for a bit, you know? I respect your decision if you think it's too fast."

You shake your head cutely. "Cut that out! We need to pay our bills soon and I have to cuddle Ion in bed!"

"Huh? But what about me?" They frown out of jealousy. Ion yawns, like he's telling them to get over it. "Cheeky cat."

"You'll get even better cuddles." You giggle. Hange laughs along, completely missing the innuendo. They're just happy to hear you giggling again. "To start, would you like a complete family hug? Maybe you'd even want to stay for a bit. The guys won't be going home unless I tell them to—"

"Are you joking? I would love to!"

If you found Hange clingy before you broke up, then you certainly find their behavior ten times more excessive now. Upon your request, they rest their body on yours, placing their head on your chest and feeling the rise and fall of your calm breaths. They pet the cat next to them, whom Hange believes to have smiled as well when he notices your physical contact. They're right—Ion is happy. He's satisfied seeing that his two owners are back together, and that neither of you are crying anymore.

As they lay on your chest, Hange lets their mind go numb. They lay in silence, keeping their delighted reactions to themselves when you would fiddle with their hair or play with their fingers. The moment is spent in quietude, but it's perfect—the ideal time for Hange to solemnly swear to the gods, the transcendent beings, to themselves, most especially, that they will never let you go.

There are only so many people in the world that they get along with, let alone be so open to the idea of loving. Hange vows to stay true to their words, to treat you better—kiss you better—as you have always deserved.

ctto for the cat photo (via pinterest)

also i saw this tweet while writing and i just NFDHBFHD THIS IS SO ACCURATELY HANGE IN THIS FIC LMAO

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joeys-babe · 1 year ago

Text

Joey B Imagines: Birthday Boy

————————————————————————-

Summary: December 10th, Joe’s 27th birthday spent with you and your twin boys.

Warnings: Fluff, *he's not injured!!*

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Into The Mystic

————————————————————————-

December 10th, 2023

Joe had awoken in bed by himself this morning to his surprise. He had expected you, his wife, to be waking him with smooches all over his face but your side of the bed was empty.

He rolled over to grab his phone off his nightstand when the setup sitting on it made him smile. Every year since you and Joe got together in high school when you guys were 16 and 17, on Joe’s birthday you'd get him white roses. The number of them would be the age he was turning that day. There they were, 27 white roses in a vase.

Realizing there was a card and a gift bag propped up next to it, Joe leaned up in bed and picked up the card first.

Happy Birthday, Joey!

Gosh, how are you 27?! You're getting old babe. JKJK. I just wanted to tell you that I’m so happy to share another birthday with you, this is the 11th one that we've celebrated together and I hope I've made every year better than the last. 26 was such a year for you, and I'm proud to say I was by your side for all of it. Cheers to another year of getting to show you how much I love you. You're my husband, my rock, my happiness, my high school sweetheart, and most importantly my best friend. I love you more than words can explain, Joey Shiesty.

To my nerdy, quirky, antisocial, video game, Kid Cudi-obsessed boy, Happy 27th birthday.

Love, your y/n.

Joe didn't realize tears were streaming down his cheeks till he put the card down and saw a wet spot on the blanket on his lap. He quickly composed himself and grabbed the gift bag.

Pulling the contents out of the bag, he felt his eyes well up again when he realized it was a photo album.

It was white leather and on the front in gold font, it simply read “Us.”

Joe flipped to the first page and it had a song lyric quoted.

“When they wanna see how true love should be, they'll just look at us.”

Flipping the page again, it was a collage of pictures of you and him as high school lovebirds. A picture of him picking you up after a win while you were in your cheer uniform, one of you two sitting next to each other at lunch just smiling from ear to ear, you and him sitting in the back of one of his friend's truck while at a drive-in movie, a pic of you two at senior prom, and finally one of you guys graduating.

Joe flipped the page and wasn't at all surprised to see it was the Ohio State era of his life. Since Joe was a year older than you, you were stuck in Athens still when Joe was a freshman at OSU. Long distance sucked, but you guys made it work, and multiple pictures were showcasing that. You took screenshots of you and Joe's face timing that he had never seen before. There was a lovesick look in his eye that made Joe giggle knowing he's still just as infatuated with you. His favorite picture was the one of him lying on top of you in his dorm bed, you were running your fingers through his mullet as you cuddled him.

The LSU page made Joe’s heart warm, so many pictures of you standing to the side and smiling at him just so proud of everything he had accomplished during his time there. There was one slightly spicy photo that made Joe do a double take. That was the first photo you had ever sent him with the intention of turning him on. While Joe was out doing something with the team after winning the national championship you put nothing on but his letterman jacket and the “Big Dick Joe” that he had.

The next few pages only made Joe smile get bigger.

In order it was him getting drafted, the 2022 AFC Championship win + engagement, the wedding, finding out I was pregnant, the gender reveal, the boy's arrival, and everything in between.

When the last few pages were empty for more memories Joe shut the book and put it off to the side. He again had to compose himself and wipe his eyes after the emotional walk through memory lane, you guys had been through so much together and Joe couldn't a picture his life without you.

Joe was about to text you but as soon as he went to grab his phone you were walking into the bedroom. Truthfully you had been downstairs listening to him secretly through the baby monitor you had put up in the bedroom. You had heard him wrestle around in the sheets before sniffles were heard. After it went quiet for a bit you went upstairs and watched him through the cracked bedroom door as he wiped his eyes.

You walked towards the bed with a stack of pumpkin-flavored pancakes topped with candles singing Happy Birthday as Joe wore a huge grin.

After you were finished singing, Joe blew out the candles and you placed the plate on his lap.

“G’morning, Joey. Happy Birthday, my love. - you

He pulled you into a hug and squeezed you so tight.

“I love you so much, y/n.” - Joe

You rubbed his back and kissed him after you pulled away, his arms still around your waist.

“What did you wish for when you blew out your candles?” - you

“Can't tell you, you know it wouldn't come true if I did.” - Joe

“You're no fun.” - you

“I'm just kidding, baby. I actually didn't make a wish.” - joe

“What why? Did I not give you enough time to? I'm sor-” - you

“No. You gave me plenty of time. I just don't have anything to wish for. I have everything I could ever want or need so there's no need for me to wish for something. I have a beautiful amazing wife, perfect twin boys, a good career…” - Joe

You stared at him dumbfounded, wondering how you were ever able to bag this sweet man.

“You’re gonna make me cry.” - you sniffled

“C’mere.” - Joe opened his arms to you

Immediately in his embrace, Joe held the back of your head and kissed your temple.

“I've already cried twice.” - Joe giggled

“Awe Joey. Okay enough sappy stuff, you eat your birthday breakfast while I go clean the kitchen up.” - you pulled away from him and headed for the door when he stopped you

“Wait don't go! I'll help you clean later, can you stay with me right now?” - Joe

You smiled sweetly at him before waking back over to the bed and getting under the covers with him.

Joe turned on Spongebob and ate his pancakes, a few minutes in you heard little feet in the hallway before knocks on the door could be heard.

“Mommy? Daddy?” - Tyson

“You can come in, Ty!” - Joe

The twins happily opened the door and toddled over to the bed. You lifted them onto the bed and they sat with their backs against the footboard.

Tyson giggled as he jokingly got his hand under the covers and tickled Joe’s foot. Joe played along with it for a little bit, loving the sound of his son’s laugh before he started fighting back.

“Do you boys remember what today is?” - you

“Uhm… no momma.” - Miles

“It's someone's birthday!” - you

Tyson and Miles looked at each other for a second before they gasped at the same time and yelled out the answer in unison.

“Daddy’s!” - The twins yelled

“Mhm! Remember what you guys made yesterday?” - you

The boys nodded and you instructed them to go retrieve what they made from their room.

Joe gave you a skeptical raised eyebrow look, but you just leaned in and kissed him while you still had the chance.

It wasn't long till you could hear those little feet again and Tyson and Miles were running back into the bedroom. They handed Joe a few pieces of paper after he put his empty plate on his nightstand.

Tyson drew a picture of him, his daddy, and his uncles passing football at the practice fields.

Miles drew a picture of him and Joe playing with Hot Wheels tracks.

The drawings had Joe feeling a different form of bliss, his heart warmed to an insane level as he looked at the little details in his boys’ drawings.

“I love them, boys. Thank you.” - Joe croaked

“You welcome!” - Tyson beamed

“Dada? You sad?” - Miles

“No, Daddy’s really happy.” - Joe

“But you cryin'…” - Miles

“He’s crying happy tears buddy, really happy tears.” - Joe

“Oh… okay!” - Miles

“You guys should go play. Mommy and Daddy are gonna clean up before Gramps and Grammy come.” - you

When the boys left the room you turned to Joe who was still crying. You softly kissed his cheek and wiped his tears off of his cheeks.

“You okay, baby?” - you

“Never been better. This is the best feeling.” - Joe

“Good. They worked hard on those. Come follow me downstairs. I have something cool to show you.” - you

“You gonna give me my 27 birthday spankings? Or is that later?” - joe

You laughed as you pulled him out of bed and shoved him into the closet, asking without words for him to put clothes on since he was only in boxers.

He returned in sweatpants and a T-shirt and followed you downstairs.

“Is the cool thing you have to show me a sink full of dishes? Or do I have to unload the dishwasher?” - Joe

“You’re exempt from those chores today since you are the birthday boy. But no, I’m giving you one of your gifts now.” - you

Joe smiled and I told him to close his eyes as we started walking into the kitchen. He did as you said and you took his hands in yours to guide him to where the setup on the counter was. You smiled at the secret camera you had recording and dropped Joe’s hands.

Telling him to open his eyes, Joe looked around rather confused but when he looked down at the counter his eyes went as wide as saucers.

There was a positive Clearblue test next to the same onesie you showed Joe when you found out you were pregnant with the twins.

You watched Joe’s eyes start to water as his chin started quivering, causing your own eyes to get misty as you smiled at him.

“You’re pregnant?” - Joe grinned

“Mhm.” - you smiled as tears dripped down your face

Immediately his arms were around you, lifting you and spinning you around as he cried into your neck.

“We’re having another baby!” - Joe cried

When he put you down, Joe picked up the pregnancy test with shaky hands and fell against the counter with his head buried in his arms. He was so overcome with emotion.

“Are you happy?” - you rubbed his back

Joe stood up abruptly and nodded vigorously.

“I've never been so happy. What if we have a girl, y/n? I could be a girl dad.” - Joe cried again

“Oh baby.” - you pulled him into your arms

Joe hugged you so tight but was now trying not to put pressure on your stomach now that he was aware his baby was in there.

“I love you so much, y/n. You and our family are the best things to have ever happened to me. I can't believe we're having another baby.” - Joe

“I love you and our babies so much. I can't believe it either, I'm so excited.” - you

“How long have you known? Well about the baby?” - Joe

“Not too long, found out a couple of days ago and thought I'd wait till today.” - you

Joe nodded and leaned down to be level with your stomach. It hasn't gotten bigger yet but Joe didn't care, his baby was still in there.

“Hey, baby. It's your daddy. Me and your momma already love you so much. We can't wait to meet you.” - Joe

“I have an ultrasound next week. Think you can go?” - you

“For sure. I'll make it happen.” - Joe

The rest of the day Joe couldn't keep his hands off of you, always making sure you weren't farther than arm's length away from him.

Robin asked what was up later at dinner when you rejected your usual favorite wine that she and Jimmy had brought.

You and Joe were ecstatic to tell his parents about Baby Burrow #3 coming next fall and they were just as happy finding out about their next grandkid.

That night after dinner, dessert (pumpkin pie of course), and putting the boys to sleep, Joe and I were lying in bed talking about everything baby.

“y/n, you know, I've only been 27 for a day but I feel like it's going to be the best year yet.” - Joe

“You think so?” - you

“I know so because I’m gonna spend it with you, our boys, and baby Burrow.” - Joe

You had a strange feeling that Joe was right, but also an overwhelming feeling of love washed over you. How'd you get so lucky with Joe?

————————————————————————-

Authors note: happy bday Joey B!

there was a birthday imagine request in my messages so here you go!

hope you enjoyed! 💕

#joe burrow #bengals #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #joey b #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow fan fic

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enkvyu · 1 year ago

Text

"good morning."

"what."

your breath condenses as you exhale in soften shock, the presence of your boyfriend waiting by your bedroom door at a time when the moon still shone simply perplexing to you. gojo smiles, kindly, patiently, as you sniffle and force the gears in your head to turn.

finally, you shuffle up and sit upright in bed. "what are you doing here?" you croak, throat protesting from the lack of use.

"i came as fast as i could when you told me you were sick."

"it's almost three in the morning."

"that's why i said good morning."

your body takes a screenshot.

gojo laughs in a single breath and pushes himself off the doorframe, untucking his hands from behind his back.

he isn't in his usual jujutsu uniform you realise, as he steps into a spot where the moonlight shines through your window and spills onto the carpet. instead of his uniform, he's wearing a tight black shirt that's riddled with cuts and it's styled with an outrageous amount of scars on his face.

you can't help it, worry forces you up.

gojo catches you in his arms as you attempt to get out of bed, the rush of motion causing your head to spin but you don't care, you couldn't possibly. you trace a scar by his lips with your thumb.

"what happened to you?"

his lips quirk upward and you catch the movement with the tip of your finger. "do you think i look tougher with the scars?"

"what do i think? are you serious? you look like you’re on your deathbed, what happened?" your voice rises and he shushes you gently.

"okay, okay, i'm sorry. don't be mad, please?"

"why are you covered in scars?" you say instead.

"i got into a fight."

there's another scar across his cheek and you trace it. "with who?"

gojo tilts his head towards your hand so that your palm ends up caressing his cheek. "no one important especially because, you know, he's dead now."

"and you're definitely okay?"

he nods into your hand. "i think the one who isn't okay, is you."

you sniffle. "i took medicine already, i'll be fine. but you, god gojo, where do i even start?"

"you can start by getting over your fever."

your boyfriend tries to wiggle out of your hold but you only clench tighter, intent on keeping him close by. "are you sure you're okay?"

the smile he gives you is pure sweetness. he leans forward to kiss your cheek and you feel his grin even then. "of course. i’m more than okay, you’ll never guess who i just won against."

there's still doubt in your gaze when he pulls back and he laughs, breath hitting your face.

"i already went and got checked up by a doctor that i really trust." he adds.

it’s hard to not believe him when he looks at you like this, so you relent, sitting back. “shouldn't you be sleeping and resting up, then?”

gojo takes something out from the bag you didn't know he had been carrying, and places it on your bedside table. "shouldn't you? how could i sleep well knowing you were probably suffocating from all that snot in your nose?"

you scrunch up your face and glance quickly at the pile of used tissues on the table that he had to brush aside. "i was just about to blow my nose actually." your argue sounds weak even to your own ears.

he hums like he believes you. "right. and when was the last time you took any fever medication?"

"i think i went to bed at around eight?"

he tsks. "you're long overdue for something."

you recall his earlier words. “so, who was the guy you just beat?”

his eyes glint in the light. “guess.”

you groan. “i don’t know, was it the guy you were talking about a few weeks ago?”

“sukuna?”

“why are you asking me like i know?”

gojo makes a face at you. “but yeah, it was him. i beat him real good too.”

you’ve never really believed in gojo’s outlandish tales, of scary monsters and magic people, but sometimes your boyfriend will come home with injuries just as mindboggling, and you must admit you’d believe him a little then.

still, you can’t hide the taunting smile that passes through. “yeah babe, you really showed him.”

he sticks out his tongue and unpacks the bag he brought.

you watch as he walks in and out your room, holding nothing in his hands one second and appearing with a thermos later. he pours steaming water into a mug and places that down next to the bottle of medicine. it's the liquid type, and you wonder if it became a habit to buy it over tablets and pills, from raising megumi and tsukimi.

"babe, i don't want you to stay up just for me." your blocked nose causes the b's to come out as m's. “especially if you’re injured.”

"i'm your boyfriend, this is what i'm meant to do." he says. “and i’m fine, seriously.”

"i'm pretty sure this is a job for my parents, not you."

"i'm trying to be romantic." gojo sighs, measuring out the bright red liquid into a medicine cup. "but of course, you have to be incredibly snarky, even more so now that you're sick."

you rub your nose. "careful, i'm extremely emotional right now. you could easily make me cry."

he spares you a quick glance. "you'll live. here, take this."

gojo hands you the medicine cup and nudges forward the mug of warm water. looking up, he eyes you expectantly.

you meet his gaze hesitantly. "does this... taste gross?"

there's a silence until gojo starts laughing. "are you a child? i don't even think you could taste it even if you tried."

"i'm literally a patient, don't laugh at me."

"just drink the syrup."

"in shoujo mangas, isn't this when you're meant to be nicer to me?" you mumble underneath your breath, though he catches it anyway.

in the silence that ensues, you begin mentally prepping yourself for the unnaturally sweet taste of raspberry medicine, the kind that has always reminded you of childhood sickness. back then, you were lucky to have your family hovering over you with a wet towel and a warm hand.

just as you go in for a sip, gojo suddenly speaks.

"want me to make this more shoujo-esque, then?"

you blink at him. "huh?" you ask intelligently.

under the moon, you can barely make out the soft smirk on his face and the look in his eyes that you know all too well. it's a feature of his from when the two of you were still in highschool, and though this kind of cheekiness has faded away with time, you still recognise it.

it's the look he gives you when he's up to nothing good.

something in the air changes, and your fever can’t completely explain the sudden heat.

gojo leans over, carefully taking the cup from your hands. making eye contact, he tips the red liquid into his mouth, careful not to spill any. you gape at him, captured in his gaze, as he lifts your chin with a finger and presses his lips on yours.

he swallows the gasp that tumbles out from your mouth, flooding your senses with raspberry, though not the kind that reminds you of sickness. you can only think of his hand that creeps up to cup your cheek, the other tucking hair away from your face. he coaxes your mouth open with his tongue and forces you to drink.

when you’ve gulped it all down, his hands leave your side. he tries to lean away but you follow after, deepening the kiss.

gojo's fingers curl into your bedsheets and you feel his weight dip into the mattress as as he uses his knee to lean forward. you feel yourself fall backwards but he catches the small of your back with a hand and a chuckle.

eventually, he pulls away for air and though you need it just as bad, your lips trail after his.

eyes meet and spark in the dim lit room.

"was that still gross?" he asks, and it takes you a while to realise he was talking about the taste of the medicine.

you swipe your tongue against your bottom lip to relive the flavour, and his eyes follow the motion.

"no." you murmur. "actually, i don't remember. why don't we do it again so i can find out?"

gojo grins, using the hand on your back to press you against him, the other resting on the wall behind you. "only once more."

just like he promised, his lips fall back on yours and you sigh into the contact.

the night ends in raspberry sweetness, but not the kind that is unpleasant.

if you saw this somewhere else, no you didn't <3

#gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo fluff #gojo imagine #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo #gojo... if he Won #gojo if he was alive sobs

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section-chief-prentiss · 6 months ago

Text

girls

Summary: After an UnSub threatens to out you, you come out to Emily.

Word Count: 2269

TWs: threats of being outed, coming out

Ao3

This whole case had you on edge.

It was a local case, and normally, that fact brought you comfort. Sleeping in your own bed after a long day was exactly what you needed.

You got home late and beelined for your bed. If you were lucky, you could squeeze in a few hours before you needed to be back at the BAU in the morning.

You started stripping as soon as your door was closed and locked behind you, shedding clothes on your way to your room. You threw on the first oversized t-shirt your hands touched and rolled into bed, your mattress welcoming you into its warm embrace.

You plugged your phone into the charger on your nightstand and set your alarm, cringing at how soon you would need to be awake. But before you could lock your phone, a text rolled in from an Unknown Number.

Stop investigating or I’ll tell your team you’re gay.

Your blood froze in your veins. The UnSub your team was chasing was technologically savvy and had proven he wasn’t afraid to use it. Through various social media accounts and other media leaks, he’d flaunted the victims he’d kidnapped and killed, and so far, Penelope had been unable to track him.

You debated the odds of this being a random spam text when another appeared.

If you arrest me I have a failsafe that will alert them right away.

You knew better than to respond, but you knew you couldn’t block him until Penelope took a look at the message.

The thought stopped you in your tracks—if you showed Penelope these messages, the team would find out anyway.

It wasn’t that you were ashamed of your sexuality; your family knew—you came out to them when you were 12. Your mom and your brother were your biggest cheerleaders, and while it took your dad a little longer to come around, he was firmly in your corner now as well. Your friends were no different.

But work was another story. You loved your BAU family and trusted them with your life, but you’d only been with the team for a year. And you weren’t in a relationship at the moment, so your dating life just… hadn’t come up. You’d always known you’d tell them eventually, but you wanted it to be on your terms.

Despite the threat, you had no intention of stopping investigating or encouraging your team to do the same.

But the nagging voice at the back of your head that it could all come crashing down at any moment left you with a lingering feeling of dread that kept you awake, tossing and turning until your alarm went off just before sunrise.

You stumbled through your morning routine like a zombie, moving aimlessly from room to room. You made coffee on autopilot, dressed in a daze, and didn’t realize you had two different shoes on until you were one step out the door. You swapped one out for a matching set, grabbed your bag, and headed to the BAU.

You wished you could shake it off. Pretend it didn’t bother you. But as you took your seat at the round table, you knew the carefully crafted facade you’d put up was already chipping away, and it was only a matter of time before your team saw through it.

“You look like hell,” Rossi said, taking the seat next to you. “Did you sleep at all?”

“Not really,” you hedged, taking another swig of your coffee.

Tara and Luke filed in next, and you absentmindedly exchanged morning pleasantries with them, glancing at your watch and wondering what was taking the rest of the team so long.

Emily, JJ, Reid, and Penelope buzzed into the room together, and the energy they brought with them made you sit up a little straighter.

“Our UnSub has made his next move,” Emily announced. She stood at the front of the room, pulling something up on the screen behind her, while the rest of the team took their seats.

Screenshots of texts filled the TV, and a hush fell over the room as everyone took them in.

Stop investigating or I’ll tell the press about your addiction, one read.

Stop investigating or I’ll tell the media about your pathetic sister, read another.

With a click of the remote, two more messages appeared, with familiar text that sent a shiver down your spine.

If you arrest me I have a failsafe that will alert them right away.

You glanced at the timestamps of the messages, fighting to keep your expression neutral. You’d stared at the messages you received long enough to know they came at 2:41 AM. These messages had been sent just a few minutes before.

“JJ and Reid received these texts last night; we assume they’re from our UnSub,” Emily announced. “Before we start today, I need to ask if anyone else received a message last night. You don’t have to reveal what it said; JJ and Reid gave me permission to share theirs, but I need to know if he’s targeting anyone else.”

The team glanced around the table at each other, shaking their heads. When Emily’s eyes met yours, you found yourself shaking yours as well before you could think about it.

“These threats say more about the UnSub than about us,” JJ said. “He thinks these are threats, but they just prove we’re human. It wouldn’t change how people perceive us, and even if it did, I wouldn’t care.”

You’d turned to Reid, skeptical. “Is that how you feel?”

To your surprise, he only shrugged. “I’m proud of my sobriety. Last year alone, 17.82% of Americans had a substance use disorder. It’s more prevalent than anyone wants to believe.”

Your heart swelled at their bravery. But the text message you’d received still hung over your head.

“Penelope is working with JJ and Reid’s phones to see if she can trace the messages back. If anyone else receives anything, please let me know right away. In the meantime, Luke and Rossi are going to head down to Metro P.D. to interview more of the victims’ families,” Emily said. “Tara and Y/N, the M.E. is expecting you; she has the latest autopsy results. JJ and Reid are going to stay here with me, and we’re going to work on the profile.”

The team dispersed, but you felt glued to your chair.

“Are you okay?” Tara whispered.

You nodded. “I just need a minute. I’ll meet you in the bullpen?”

Tara put a hand on your shoulder before doing just that.

When your legs stopped shaking, you stood and glanced through the windows at the rest of your team. Emily made eye contact with you through the glass, and you tilted your head toward her office. The raven-haired woman nodded, and you both wordlessly made your way over.

You beat her to it and started pacing across the carpeted floor. You kept your hands clasped so Emily wouldn’t see they were shaking.

The Unit Chief closed her office door behind her.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, sitting on the edge of her desk.

You opened your mouth, but no words came out. You closed it again, mind reeling.

Were you really about to do this? This hadn’t been your plan when you walked into work this morning, but you knew it was the right thing.

Despite that, your heart raced in your chest. Stars danced across your vision, and your breathing became shallow.

This wasn’t fair. You cracked your knuckles, a nervous habit, but your hands shook as you did so.

Tears threatened to spill over, so you turned away from your friend, sitting on the small couch on the opposite side of the room. You pressed your palms against your eyes, willing the emotion to go away.

“Not now,” you whispered. “Please not now.”

The couch shifted as Emily took a seat next to you. She placed a gentle hand on your back.

“Take your time,” she murmured.

You pulled your hands away from your eyes and clasped them in your lap.

“I got a text from the UnSub last night too,” you said, voice raspy.

Emily moved her hand from your back to resting on your knee. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

You nodded. You knew you could trust Emily—trust your whole team. None of them would judge you or think lesser of you, of that you were sure. But your heart still felt like it was going to burst out of your chest.

“He threatened to out me to all of you. And said that if we apprehended him, he had a failsafe in place to make sure everyone found out.”

Emily’s face crumpled. “Y/N…”

“It’s not that I’m ashamed of who I am,” you whispered. “I’m not. My family knows, my friends know… It’s just that it’s private. I wanted to tell you all on my terms, when I felt ready. And he took that choice away from me.”

Emily took your trembling hands in hers, and tears welled in your eyes.

“I love you, Y/N,” Emily said with a sincerity that stilled you. “We all do. You are our family, and I can say with full confidence that this doesn’t change how we feel about you.”

You took a deep breath. “I knew it wouldn’t. I just wanted to control how I told at least one person. How I told you.”

“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me,” Emily said. “I can’t tell you how honored I am.”

“I know we have to tell Penelope,” you said. “So she can try to trace it.”

Emily shook her head. “We can wait. See if she can get anything from JJ and Reid’s phones; we may not need yours.”

You grimaced. You didn’t want to hinder the investigation or ask Emily to do the same by keeping this to yourselves.

“That means a lot to me,” you said earnestly. “But I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking; I’m offering.” Emily’s dark eyes pierced yours. “Just tell me what you want to do.”

“Will you come with me to talk to Penelope? I’d feel better having you there.”

“Whatever you need,” she assured you. “Is it okay if I give you a hug?”

You nodded, and it wasn’t until Emily’s arms were around you that you realized how badly you needed some comfort. You sank into her embrace, resting your chin on her shoulder, letting your friend hold you.

She rubbed one hand in circles on your back, and you closed your eyes, the exhaustion of the case catching up with you. You could fall asleep right now. Now that you were safe.

But there was still work to do, so you pulled away, your cheeks flushed.

“Thank you,” you said.

You wiped your tears away, suddenly self-conscious when you remembered the rest of your team was just outside.

As if anticipating your hesitation, Emily asked, “Would it be easier if I brought her in here?”

It was tempting, but you didn’t want to call more attention to yourself.

“No, that’s okay,” you said. “Let’s go to her office.”

Emily didn’t stand until you did, but once you did, she was ready to hold her office door open for you.

As you walked through the bullpen, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at your teammates. You heard them murmuring—working on the profile, you told yourself—but you held your breath until you were out of sight and knocking on Pen’s door.

“Enter!” She chirped from the other side.

You scanned your badge and the door clicked open, revealing Penelope in front of her wall of monitors—the text messages up on one, another busy tracking the source.

“Do you have a minute, Pen?” Emily asked.

Penelope whirled around in her chair. “Anything for you, Peaches.” Her eyes widened when she saw you standing beside Emily. “And Y/N! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I got a text from the UnSub,” you said, your phone in hand.

“Have you gotten anything from JJ’s or Reid’s yet?” Emily asked.

Penelope frowned and shook her head. “Not yet; the UnSub is flexing his tech knowledge, but I am better, and I will find him.”

You smiled at your friend’s easy confidence.

“Can I see?” she asked.

You nodded, wordlessly unlocking the device and handing it over.

You watched as Pen scanned the message. Watched as her mouth opened in shock. When her eyes reconnected with yours, there was fury behind them.

“I will bury him,” she growled. “How dare he—”

Emily held up a hand. “Needless to say, discretion is important here.”

Penelope’s eyes widened. “Oh, Y/N, I know I’m not known for secret-keeping, but I would never…” she shook her head. “I’ll never tell a soul.”

Your heart swelled. “Thank you, Pen. I will tell the team, I’d just prefer to do it on my terms.”

“Of course,” Penelope said.

“I can take your place with Tara,” Emily offered. “If you want to stay here and work on the profile with Reid and JJ.”

You shook your head. “That’s not necessary. But thank you.” You looked between Emily and Pen. “Thank you both.”

“Let’s go make this son of a bitch pay.”

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edenfenixblogs · 1 year ago

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hey, gentile here. just came across this post of yours and, first of all- it's SUPERB. it showed me a perspective on being a jewish ally that i really wouldn't ever have considered by myself, made me more confident in my choice to put combating jew-hatred above the friendships I've recently lost, and gave me a really useful direction on where to go as an ally to jewish people onwards. that being said, there's a few details about it I'd like to press you about, if it's not too much trouble.

this point is probably worthy of an eyeroll as i'm a culturally christian atheist (making a concious effort to not be *that* kind of atheist), but: when you refer to G-d as the creator of all things, you stress that that includes evil- but that, in so doing, G-d is not evil themself. now, I'm asking this with the express purpose of you correcting me, so: why does this G-d- as a G-d fundamentally distinct from the Christian conception of God as a Super-Mega-Ultra-Perfect God Who Can Do No Wrong Ever- create evil? i, personally, have been led to believe by @/spacelazarwolf that it is simply because G-d, too, makes mistakes just like any human being, but the way you worded it in this paragraph (which I've included as a screenshot below) had me interpret G-d creating evil as a concious, intentional action. did i just not read it correctly? and, if i didn't, then is the reason G-d creates evil part of this central struggle you went in detail into in the same paragraph, and as such, a very individual part of Jewish belief that no two jews agree on? and if that is so, would you be comfortable with sharing your version of it?

a few paragraphs after that one, you dedicated many words to make it absolutely crystal clear that, in the process of unlearning and combating jew-hatred in the society around me, i should, in spite of the vitriol that they propagate, love the former friends i lost to antisemitism. how- and *why* should i love the people who, on an early october 8th morning, actively celebrated the news of a massacre of Israeli civilians? who mocked- and still mock- the survivors and the families of hostages? who wield the memory of the holocaust as a baton against Jewish people's right to self defense? who deify terror groups who are up to their necks in atrocities? who make an active effort to spit on the face of *reality?* How could i possibly look at the face of a friend who chose allegiance to a terrorist group she did not even know existed four months ago over me- who she had actively interacted with for much longer?

would you rather we called ourselves "gentiles" or "goyim?" I've been calling myself a gentile for the longest time because i see jamming a word from a language i don't speak at all in an otherwise english sentence to be disrespectful and constitute appropriation, but you and other jumblr blogs have given me the impression that that is not the case. furthermore- i believe it was @/bambahalva who pointed out the usage of the word "gentile" in antisemitic segregation policies.

that is all- i hope this message finds you well. oh, yeah one more thing- what do you think of The Forward news network? i came across them by chance and next thing i knew I'd gotten into their newsletter.

WARNING: I HAVE FINISHED WRITING THIS AND IT'S LONGER THAN I EXPECTED AND ALSO MORE JEWISH THAN I EXPECTED LOL! I have done the most Jewish possible thing I could do and answered all of your questions with questions. I'm sorrryyyyyy! This is what happens when you grow up surrounded by rabbis and future rabbis! LMAOO

Oooh! What a good ask! I love this ask. OK, so! Let's go in order.

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words. And thanking you for backing your words with the action of prioritizing kindness over hatred. It matters. More than I can ever explain. Thank you.

You know, it's funny. People ask me a lot of questions about i/p that they think will have simple and straightforward answers that just don't. And I end up writing a lot of essays because of this. The questions you wrote me seem like they should be complex, but feel relatively straightforward to me.

Now, to your first bullet point: I don't know. I truly do not know. I think that G-d is fundamentally just...G-d, and in so being, G-d is truly unknowable to me. I think many Jews have many different interpretations on why G-d creates evil. I'm no rabbi, but one of my BFFs is and so is her mother and great grandfather. That doesn't give me any kind of authority. It just means I've spent a lot of time thinking about theological questions like this. As for my perspective, I'm a progressive/reform Jew, not a humanistic Jew. I do actually believe in G-d, but I vibe with the community philosophies of Humanistic Judaism a lot. So that's the perspective I'm coming from here:

I'm not a particular fan of the Book of Job, because I think it gets twisted and interpreted in Christian ways more than most Hebrew books and it can too easily be twisted into a "Don't question G-d, because G-d is perfect" narrative that I find to be fundamentally at odds with how I practice Judaism. Also, it's just a very sad story about how a good and kind man lost everything, and it makes me sad to think about. HOWEVER, that traditional "Don't question G-d" narrative is not how I learned to think about that book. The way I learned it, I believe the Book of Job describes this issue most explicitly. After Job loses everything he holds dear and talks to all his friends and begs again and again "Why? Why did G-d do this to me? Why would G-d do this to me when I'm a good person?" And basically G-d hears everyone answering for G-d with various reasons, "Maybe you were bad." "Maybe you should make an offering" Maybe this. Maybe that. And eventually G-d responds from within a storm (paraphrased of course) 'Why the fuck do you think it's your business to know? I made the whole universe! I made everything you see. I made the world that gave you your family in your first place. Why do you think you get to question my motives?'

The way I always interpreted that is: I don't fricking know! It's not really my business. What am I gonna do? Stop G-d? How does my knowing why G-d creates evil help anything? It doesn't mean we don't question G-d. It means we should instead focus on what we CAN control. I can't make 10/7/2023 not happen any more than I could stop The Holocaust or form an ocean. That's divine business, not human business. What I CAN do is make the world better now. What use is it challenging things that we cannot change? Things that are in the past? What's the point of asking why bad things happen when we can instead focus on stopping more bad things from happening. G-d named us his people when Abraham fought with G-d to stop the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham repeatedly asked, "But are you sure? But what if there are 100 good people? 50 good people? 10 good people?" And G-d kept responding, basically, 'I mean, there aren't. I know this cuz of how I'm G-d and know all the things. But knock yourself out looking.' My interpretation of this was that G-d doesn't get mad when we do our utmost to help our fellow human beings. G-d gets mad when we waste our energy that we could be using to help our fellow man to instead be angry and rage futilely against the past. I say this as someone with PTSD as someone who attempted to stop a tragedy from occuring and failed and can never understand why. What informs my trauma and what makes it so hard to get past isn't that G-d allowed it to happen. It's that people did. It's that I begged for help before it happened--over and over and over to dozens of adults in various positions of authority in order to prevent this terrible thing from happening (no, I will not now or ever disclose what that thing is). And all the people who could have helped failed me, and now two people are dead. Because someone did an evil, evil thing. And a bunch of other people let it happen. I'm not mad at G-d. I'm mad at people. And yet, I also know that hating people and finding reasons to dismiss them and despise them is what leads to more tragedies like that happening. So, despite my rage, truly the only thing to do is to love people. It's the only that helps. It's the only thing that repairs the world. It's the only thing that we can control. So, in short, my answer to "Why does G-d create evil?" is "Why should I spend my valuable time on earth trying to answer that question when, instead, I can spend that same exact amount of time asking millions of people, 'How can I help? What's wrong, and how can I help make any part of it better?'?" We don't need to understand G-d to make the world a better place. I'm fine leaving G-d stuff to G-d and spending my time on the human stuff.

Now, your second bullet point. Love their souls. You don't have to love what they've done. But they are human beings, as are we all. I think this can also easily be twisted into the Christian framework of "Hate the sin, love the sinner," but that's not what I mean at all. People's evil deeds are a part of them. They need to take responsibility. There is no divine absolution for crimes that people do unto each other in Judaism. If you harm a person, G-d cannot forgive you for that. Only the person or people you harmed can forgive you. And to a certain degree, we are all defined by our actions toward others. And so, no. I do not forgive the terrorists who woke up and decided to kill a bunch of Israelis and Israeli-adjacent humans. I do not forgive those who celebrate the deaths of Israelis because of some misguided sense of justice. I do not forgive the people who continue to send me hatred and death threats day after day after day after day. And I do not love the parts of them that did and do those horrible, unforgivable things. But my goodness. They were babies once. They either had parents who love(d) them, which is so sad, because they have this life of love and they chose instead to fill it with so much hate. Or they didn't have any parents or loved ones or anyone to guide them and, my goodness. That is so sad. How terrifying and alone that must feel. Maybe they have friends and family who love them and are instead wasting their precious time on this planet directing their energy at raging against me and 15 million other Jews they've never met. Or maybe they don't have anyone who loves them and they think that hating me and harming me will bring them some sense of purpose and joy. What a horrid way to live.

My Grandpa died last year. I have a wonderful family for whom I'm very grateful, and I even have good memories with my Grandpa. But he was not a good person. He came from an abusive home, and weaponized that abuse on his loved ones until he drove them all away. He was a narcissist. Not in the pop psychology sense. But in the actual clinical sense. He ruined every relationship that ever mattered to him--personal and professional. And in the end, because of his own actions, he died alone. He had pushed everyone so far (often with legal threats and action) that when he died, he laid on a slab for weeks because nobody could figure out who to call, because he had no one left. (For reference, Jewish burials are supposed to happen rather quickly and two weeks is...not good.) He was the only person in his generation who was not born in Israel--my family on his side has lived in Israel since looooong before even the British Mandate and he was the only person in his family born and raised in the US. As far as we can tell, the family on that side has been in Israel for as long as Jews have existed. He was religious. And while I've never been to Israel or met any of my family there, he did go. And he kept in touch with his relatives there before driving them away too. He was a wealthy man, but convinced himself that everyone only wanted him for his money and then decided to horde it instead. He left nothing to his children or to me. He left all his money in an endowment to his university--a place that uses that money to fund anti-Israel organizations now. He died alone, without his family that lived nearby, and with a legacy that will now cause active harm to the family that lived far away. He could have died surrounded by the loved ones from around the world who wanted nothing more than to be near him and loved by him. His story is a tragedy. The story of every person who chooses hatred over love is a tragedy. The story of someone who woke up and chose to murder others or to delight in the death of others is a tragedy. I love the soul in the center of these people. I loved my grandfather. I could not be around him. I cannot forgive some of the things he said and did. But I love the person he could have been. I love the part of him that gave me some good memories. I love the family he gave to me.

No, we do not all need to love or forgive those who have wronged us or terrorized us or murdered our loved ones. But that is different from mourning a human soul. From loving the potential of a human soul to do good in the world, and mourning the loss of that soul and its potential. Every human being--every single one no matter what they have done in their lives--has the potential to create goodness and make the world a better place. Every moment of every single day is a new chance to meet that challenge and do our best. Sure, not all of us have it in us to try our best every single moment. Sometimes life is hard and we're sad and tired and hungry and angry. And that's ok, because we have tomorrow, and an hour from now, and a minute from now. But the moment someone chooses to take action and decides that action should be to cause another harm or celebrate the harm that was caused? That's a tragedy. And when a life is extinguished, that is a life that loses its potential to try again and do better. We shouldn't love people because we deem them worthy of love. We should love people because they are people. And so are we. And how wonderful is that? I could choose to hate them. It would be so easy! But why should I do that? What do I gain? What do they gain? And isn't it so wonderful that I chose to love instead? And isn't it so wonderful that you can, too?

As for your final bullet point: I have no preference. I say goyim cuz it's easier for me. Goy/gentile/non-Jew are all fine to me. I have some icky feelings about the word gentile for a variety of linguistic reasons I won't bore you with. But some other people don't like when non-Jews appropriate Yiddish words. Others (including me) find it wonderful when non-Jews call themselves goyim. All my closest non-Jewish people call themselves goyim, including my sister! Non-jew is the most neutral in English and least likely to offend anyone. But it still separates Jews as an other whereas "goy" is a way to distinguishing yourself from Jews while also being an acknowledgment of our culture. As far as I'm concerned as long as a goy is being a goy (ally, positive) rather than a goy (derogatory) I don't mind that they call themselves goyim. LOL! Idk, friend. Do what makes you happy! What do you prefer?!

Regarding The Forward news network: They are a reliable Left-Center source with a high credibility and reporting rating and only one failed fact check in the past five years for which they issued a correction. I would consider them a reliable source. They cover legitimate issues of people who support Palestinan self-determination ostensibly being punished for their stances. They publish Op-eds critical of Netanyahu, who is terrible. And they address how antisemitism is harming diaspora Jews. They seem to consistently emphasize the humanity of everyone, which you can tell based on the rest of my post is very important to me, but they also avoid over-editorializing on news that is not in the Op-Ed section. I'll never endorse any source as perfect or guaranteed to be free of problems or harm or bad takes, but they do seem to make a genuine effort to be factual, clear, and wholly truthful. Note: I highly recommend that everyone installs the Media Bias/Fact Check extension on their web browsers. Get in the habit of checking and evaluating sources critically. It's a skill that will serve you your whole life.

@clawdia-houyhnhnm I hope this helps. And thank you for your thoughtful ask and commitment to intercultural understanding. <3

#ask me stuff #clawdia-houyhnhnm #leftist antisemitism #antisemitism #jewish muslim solidarity #jewish goyim solidarity #Judaism #jewish culture #jumblr #how to help #allyship #media literacy

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oristian · 3 months ago

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Hello there!

I have this screenshot and I want to know your thoughts on it.

Do you think that this could possibly happen or not? (Even though I know you're a elucien and gwynriel fan)

I wrote down my thoughts on it and it's chilling in my drafts until I post in the morning, ha.

I don't believe that Lucien would lie about such a rare occurrence in fae history, no way.

Lucien “I’m a mated male,” Vanserra is the last character to ever be seen as deceptive in this series—especially in a way that would paint him as a villain archetype. Lucien, who lost his eye by spitting back at Amarantha. Lucien, who bowed before Rhys in order to protect Feyre. Lucien, who accepted lashings and near death more than once to help Feyre UTM. Lucien, who gave up his home and friends to both help Feyre and to see his mate. Lucien, who shook at the sound of his name upon Elain’s lips. Lucien, who travelled across the world just because of Elain’s visions.

Lucien may have his faults, but purposefully faking a mating bond to deceive the Inner Circle? Sounds to me like some people lack a clear understanding of how he is as a character—and also the nuances of a mating bond, fated mates trope, and the romantasy subgenre.

I have exhausted this same argument time and time again, but the fact is that, once Feyre unleashed Helion’s Spellcleaving ability in Hybern, any spells/wards/charms would have been dismantled. In the case that Lucien had, somehow, created a fake mating bond in that moment, Feyre would have broken it. On top of that, Feyre has looked into his mind and the reader experienced the pull of the mating bond/mating instincts that Lucien felt in ACOWAR. On top of that, both Elain and Lucien have exhibited mate behavior towards one another/for one another throughout the series.

Azriel and Elain are not mates and that is simply debunked by Elain and Lucien being mates. There is not a single reason why a fake mating bond would need to have been created, especially because SJM changed Lucien’s mate from Nesta to Elain. Had she planned on any sort of fake bonds/rejected bonds, that would have taken place with Lucien and Nesta. Her simply speaking about them in interviews, online, and unprompted is telling enough of her intentions and plans—the same plans she claims has not changed.

I truly want to know what these people believe that Lucien would gain from spying on the Night Court. Who is he giving his intel to? Eris, who already has a front row seat to the Inner Circle? Beron, who has no interest in him? Tamlin, who is a shell of his former self? Koschei, who has more interest in Nesta and Vassa than the Inner Circle?

Allow us to humor them for a moment. Lucien faked a bond with Elain, yet spends the majority of his time in the mortal lands away from her—what intel is he gathering by being away? How did he manage to tug on the bond and have Elain feel the thread around her rib? How did he manage to trick Feyre into seeing his mating instincts when she looked into his mind? The list can go on and on.

tl;dr — The bond between Elain and Lucien is real, has always been real, and they are true mates. Any other argument against any of those canonical facts needs to be taken up with SJM herself.

#pro elucien #lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #elain archeron #pro elain archeron #acotar #sjm #this argument is so dumb #pro lucien

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wildflowerdoeeyed · 8 months ago

Text

𝑀𝑜𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒪’𝓈𝒽𝑒𝒶

(the character overlook)

♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧⋆⭒˚｡⋆

these are all my opinions, totally open to the conversation about molly’s character also totally fine with people fact checking me, anyways i’m starting to fw o’shones

in the words of @krayzie-jelli the autism is autisming (don’t cancel me i have referrals to get tested 😔😔)

♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧⋆⭒˚｡⋆

small credit;

the red dead fan wiki

@/reaperqween on tik tok (for the almost ten minute tik tok about mollys outfits which i ate up)

^ her tumblr is @river-of-wine send some love yall want 💕

colour analysis & general observations

🪞💋🍓🌹🍰

colour theory is heavily used based on honor, the best example of this is dutch, he consistently wearing red, mostly on his back until guarma when the red is on the front, when dutch’s true intentions become more apparent, anyways onto molly.

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

COLTER

(i went quite quick through colter so im actually unsure how she is with dutch, but from what i remember she doted on him a whole ton, constantly staying at his side and at one point saying “dutch is all the company i need”)

💋though a lot of people relate the red in different characters with low honor i think the fabric, the pattern itself points back to her privileged past

💋the necks scarf being green, i feel like it doesn’t imply much at this point but as the game continues it implies way more

💋the rest of the outfit being blue means a lot to me, there’s never anytime molly oversteps or is aggressive to anyone (obviously except from the obvious with karen, i’ll go back to this later)

💋i’d like to note that she’s still doing her makeup freezing and starving in the mountains

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

HORSESHOE OUTLOOK & CLEMENTS POINT

(i honestly will end up mixing these up so i grouped them together)

(tbh my honest opinion is horseshoe is one of the best chapters based on the relationships in camp (tho sadie’s still going through it, you can’t have everything))

💋her first outfit has a good amount of blue in this outfit, her necklace has its first appearance with the red (i always got the vibe that dutch had gifted it to her as it’s more shiny than a lot of the metal in her outfits and it’s like a part of him)

💋she wears a thick belt with this outfit and the brass (?) seems worn, even coming from a wealthy background she holds onto clothes that look old and worn

💋she always wears white boots, she’s doesn’t have to do any work, and she’s not expected to do anything

💋the majority of the mornings in game, molly is constantly checking herself in a mirror

💋i’m going to be honest i hate this shirt

💋but i’d like to think this shawl has always been with her and that she holds it close to her

💋her outfit is quite shapeless, and i think that’s how she liked to dress personally

💋i would love to talk about this outfit

💋does this eat? yes, but i don’t think this was a honest choice for her

💋this outfit mirror mary-beth’s a lot, who seems to be dutch’s new interest

sorry for the bad quality i used my own screenshot for this

💋this outfit particularly ^

💋there’s now a lot of cleavage in her outfit and she’s dressing more akin to other girls in the camp

💋and the gold in her outfits bright, and with mirroring marybeth, I also think this mirrors dutch’s style, with more red and gold incorporated

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

💋her relationship with dutch is starting to crumble, i heard a voice line where she says that she loves him and he thanks her (?!) you wouldn’t see me again personally

💋but to contrast that there’s some scenes were dutch kisses her hands and they’re all giddy and cuddly, and they eventually dance when sean’s rescued from blackwater

💋she’s also not well received by a lot of the gang, we get the first glimpse of that when you take mary-beth, tilly and karen to valentiene and karen says that molly’s “too high and mighty” to come with them

💋she attempts a to interact with numerous members

💋she also attempts to talk to tilly, tilly quickly brushes her off as she’s working and molly isn’t attempting to help her

💋i also saw an encounter with dutch and molly where, he approaches, and honestly he could be covered in shit and molly would still look up to him like he’s a messiah. dutch says “should i compare thee to…” he quickly cuts himself off asking her what he should compare her with, even asking arthur if you pass by (he actually says that dutch could compare her to an idiot if she actually believes dutch cares about her)

💋 throughout clements point, dutch talks down to molly as if she’s a child and then will quickly back himself up by calling her dear (to which if arthur intervenes when she goes off at him, dutch says she’s just leaving and she’s stomps away)

💋when she approaches abigail about the subject of dutch, abigail tells her “dutch don’t love you, not in the way you want to be loved”, molly gets defensive saying that she doesn’t get what she’s talking about, to which abigail says she does (implying drunk john?) and molly stomps away

💋i think this is the first time molly actually goes a bit crazy about dutch, she calls him a degenerate liar and stomps off when dutch wont argue back and (i think) goes to sleep, he at least turns away from her

💋i think people who discredit mollys character (men) don’t realise that her and dutch’s relationship show early signs about how manipulative dutch can be, he dumbs down what she says then calls her dear, eventually he only calls her miss o’shea, which she obviously goes off at him for

💋adding onto this i’d love to talk about her character item request of a pocket mirror and her asking arthur if bad lucks a thing, i feel like this is meant to reflect how young she actually is, like how kieran still referred to his parents as ma and pa, and that she genuinely seems nervous asking arthur for a mirror and the superstition of a broken mirror giving bad luck (which i guess you could say she had

💋and i feel like her vanity that the gang and from an outsiders perspective that she’s self absorbed but i think she’s more conscious about how she looks, she doesn’t have to lift a finger and not having much to do around camp because everyone distances themselves from her (i’ll obviously elaborate more when i get to writing about shady bell) i think she’s left alone with a mirror, which i feel is more implied that she’s had for a long time, i’d say since childhood, you become more conscious the more you look at yourself and if your man seemed to be going for someone younger than you, you’d loose it too

(tl:dr - molly doesn’t deserve any hate, the girls that get it, get it, men don’t, im so ready to talk about chapter 4&6)

The poem

Uaibhreach

(the irish gaelic word which means “being proud and arrogant to the extent that it alienates & isolates you from those around you, leading to loneliness)

I was a girl - until your call

(i’m not going to annotate this everytime but the religion of this actually makes me feel like my hearts being ripped out)

Commanded me to cross the sea.

(she was driven out of ireland looking for freedom and adventure and she was enthralled by dutch’s charm, to be honest i always saw her “privileged upbringing” being her family owning a big farm, or in a big industry, a lot of irish people immigrated to canada after the potato famine, then crossed to america)

I've nothing left. I gave you all.

(i think she means this in, like, every sense)

My darling Liffey was so small.

Your land and love are vast and free.

(‘MERICA)

I was a girl until your call.

You stood so strong, and dark and tall.

You stole the heartbeat out of me.

I've nothing left. I gave you all.

Your lips enchant, your eyes enthrall,

Your empire is of ecstasy.

I was a girl until your call.

Your parasites and lackeys crawl,

(now do i think this is the gang or her fault that they don’t like her, i think its a mutual thing, they see her as a spoiled woman and she doesn’t help that opinion but i think she’s a young woman manipulated by an older guy, and that she thinks they’re all just jealous (which im sure she even says a few times)

Mocking a love they dare not see.

(going back to when she try’s to seek abigail’s help, or when she confronts karen later on and that she can’t see that he’s really not interested in her)

I've nothing left. I gave you all.

I sit in solitude and scrawl

These wretched words, and wait for thee.

I was a girl until your call.

I've nothing left. I gave you all.

#lesbian #bambiitalks #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #wlw blog #molly o'shea #ill treat u better molly oshea #molly oshea #dutch van der linde #mary beth gaskill #karen jones #o’shones #oshones

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pernesophe · 4 months ago

Text

Shuji Hanma x "Killer" Girl Next Door

Synopsis: you are the girl next door that Shuji has always had a soft spot for. After Shuji joins Toman, you are kidnapped by an opposing team with the intention of being used against Shuji. This one was kind of rushed but I gotta get it out of my drafts already. (I have no rights to the characters, art, screenshots / manga panels used in this post)

Master List

{TW: violence, angst, past family death mentioned for reader, minor unnamed character death, mentions of blood, fluff-ish at the end}

Shuji Hanma has been the boy next door as long as you can remember, and though he’s grown and changed over the years - he’s always had a soft spot for you. He’s always been there for you - through elementary school and your parent’s divorce, through those terrible middle school years, and especially that summer that your brother was falsely accused of murder and sent to prison for it.

When you got the news that your brother was killed during a riot, Shuji basically slept on your bedroom floor for two straight weeks. He made sure you ate and drank water, forced you to shower, and would drag you outside to just stand in the sun and fresh air - even though you stayed mute the whole time.

The day you found out that your brother was proven innocent, you had never felt such rage in your life. Shuji found you laying on your bedroom floor, gripping your pillow with a raw throat from how long you had been screaming into it. Wordlessly, he picked you up and put you on the back of his bike before driving you across the city to an abandoned warehouse. It looked like it had been freshly cleared out - some cigarette butts still smoking on the ground. There were bats everywhere and just junk scattered about. Shuji made you keep the helmet on and placed a pair of safety glasses on your face before handing you a bat.

“Have at it,” he said as he gestured to the large pieces of scrap metal, panes of glass - all the breakable things you could think of. So you did. You went to town on everything in that warehouse, and Shuji let you without a trace of judgment in his eyes.

Once you were good and finished - just a girl again - curled up in the fetal position on the warehouse floor racked with sobs, Shuji came and sat with you. Absolutely silent as he laid a hand on your shoulder and let you cry everything out. Afterwards, he bundled you up in his coat and drove you home, then he cleaned you up, fed you and put you to bed.

It didn’t end on that day - this special care he was giving you - he was attentive until you were really through the worst of your grieving. Until you were really okay. That’s when he went back to sleeping in his own room and back to his own life a little bit more, but even so you could always feel his protective amber eye on you. And really, he was never that far - you two saw and talked to each other every morning before heading to your separate schools, just the same as you did each evening when you two returned to your separate homes.

Usually, your conversations pertained to your life - how school and friend’s were, and if you still wanted to be a lawyer after what happened with your brother. When the conversation drifted to him it was usually vague updates - nothing concrete. Regardless of where your lives were though, the two of you always wished each other well at the end of each day.

So, you really didn’t see it coming when you stepped outside to water your plants one night, and you were struck from behind. Knocking you unconscious. Even less were you expecting to wake up in some stuffy room with a hood over your head, and the sounds of young men whispering closeby. Something about, “Okay, when Hanma comes in, make sure to pull her hood off as you slit her throat - you don’t want him to have any chance of rescuing her.” A cold sweat breaks out over your skin as you hear a door open, footsteps retreating, and then a door closing. Leaving you alone with the sound of your breathing mingled with the sound of someone else’s breath and the shuffling of two feet.

Bang! The sound of a metal door busting open underneath your feet and then shouting and clanging filtering through the door in front of you. Twisting your feet subtly, you find that your ankles aren’t tied to the chair - only your wrists. You have no idea what direction your captor is facing, but you know you need to get out of your binding well before Shuji makes it up to this room. The sound of a faucet turning on behind you gives you the idea that he’s finally facing away from you, so as silently as possible you start twisting your hands back and forth until the amateur tied bindings loosen enough for you to slip out. Swiftly, you remove the hood from your head and turn to see the man still facing the faucet located in the small bathroom at the back of the room. Slowly rising to your feet, you try to sneak towards the door, but your shoe scuffs some paper across the wood floor - alerting the man at the sink.

Whirling around, he faces you with a hunting knife in one hand as he advances on you menacingly. Abandoning any hope of a stealthy escape, you face your captor and prepare for the fight of your life.

*************************************************

Shuji is having the absolute time of his life as he punches another opposing gang member, before spinning on his foot and kicking another clear across the room. Kisaki, Chifuyu and Takemitchy are fighting around him - occasionally throwing someone in his direction so he can kick them away completely. Suddenly, Draken turns to them from the thick of the fighting to shout.

“Head on up and make sure it’s clear!” Before he turns back to the three opponents he’s facing off with. Without a moment’s hesitation, the four of them begin clearing a path and making their way up to what looks like the office door of this abandoned warehouse.

*************************************************

The man lunges forward with every bit of strength in his legs, clearing the entire room and grabbing you by the upper arm. Twisting and squirming back and forth as you dig your nails into his hand and use your hand of the arm he’s holding to hold the knife back by his wrist. The two of you are thoroughly grappled until you lean forward and sink your teeth into his hand forcing him to let your arm go. Growing desperate with the thundering footsteps approaching the door, he changes strategy to holding the knife with both hands and wildly swinging at you.

Dodging the first few swings as you trip and sway around the tiny room - trying not to slip on the papers scattered across the floor - you are finally able to grab one of his wrists in both hands as you swing your lower half and torso out of the way. As you do, he slips on a piece of paper sliding on top of another and falls flat on his face. For a moment you’re stunned and start to back away, but he suddenly grabs your ankle and yanks you onto your back and climbs on top of you with the knife raised - ready to plunge it into your neck.

The moment he begins driving the knife down, you hit the side of the blade so the handle bursts from his grip as you grab the handle in your other hand - letting his full weight fall onto the blade. A horrible gurgling sound fills your ears as you feel something wet and warm dribble onto your collarbone.

Placing a hand on his shoulder and a knee in his pelvis on the same side, you heave him off of you with all your might until he’s flat on his back. As he falls, with the handle of the blade still tightly clutched in your fist, you feel the now hot metal slide out of his chest. Falling back onto your folded legs - knife still in hand - all you can do is stare at the now lifeless face that you just met a few moments ago. His eyes were still his, but something in them - maybe the utter lack of focus - was the first sign he was gone. The next was that his chest was completely and totally still. You’re so absorbed in the body before you, that you don’t even hear the door swing wide open to your right as several people enter the room, laughing loudly.

*************************************************

When Draken shouted at them to go clear the room upstairs - even as Shuji giddily climbed the stairs anticipating another fight - the last person he expected to see was you. The day you two met, he had told you that you were nauseatingly pink. He didn’t appreciate it at first. The world around him had always seemed so colorless - joyless in fact - so when he only saw pink around you, he was honestly disappointed. When the feeling you brought was just this fuzziness, he kind of thought, “is that it?”

But the more he got to know you - really see you - he realized that pink has so many shades. Some so light they almost look pearlescent, and some so deep they almost look like amaranth flowers. What he loved most is that pink mixes so beautifully with so many colors. His favorite was always peach - it was this mix of pink and yellow that made him feel warm, fuzzy, and happy.

Overtime, he truly began to appreciate all the bright colors you painted his life with and all the new feelings they brought, but one thing he promised himself is that he would never stain your life with his. It would be far too easy to drown out all those bright, light hues with the black and red tones that fill his world.

And yet, here you are, sitting just above his world with crimson splashed up to your elbows - a bloodied knife in your hands - its pitch black handle poking out between your fingers. You haven’t even turned towards him yet - you’re just stuck there staring at the body in absolute horror. For a moment Shuji is reminded of that old adage: Man plans, and God laughs.

The grin disappears instantly from his face - the others are frozen in confusion - but he strides right up to you and crouches in front of you, but you still haven't met his gaze - eyes trained on the dead guy's face. Having no idea who you are, or that Shuji knows you, the others are concerned he’s going to hurt you as they exchange anxious glances. Chifuyu and Takemitchy are tense as hell as they move forward in preparation to intervene.

“Y/N.” Shuji says firmly and your eyes snap up to his as the others look between each other again - silently asking one another why he knows you. Immediately you drop the knife as your hands start to tremble and you swallow hard - attempting to speak. “Why are you here?” Demanding firmly, but there’s a seriousness in Shuji’s tone that the others have never heard him use before. Concern, maybe?

“I-I was ta-taken from my bac-backyard,” stuttering out in a whisper as you will your hands to stop shaking, but your lips still won’t stop quivering.

“Who?” The word is drenched in territorial rage that makes the other’s - even Kisaki - flinch away. Shuji’s typical jovial demeanor that softened his stature had vanished, so even though he was crouched low to the ground - his entire presence had turned large and menacing.

“I didn’t see their faces - just his,” lips barely moving as you utter the words while staring down at the body again. Without looking back at Shuji you whisper in shock, “Shu-Shuji… I-I killed him…”

Shuji doesn’t bat an eye as he pulls off his coat and puts it around you before dragging you to your feet - protests form on your tongue but he shoots you a look that makes you pause immediately. Only your arms and hands are bloody, except for some that dripped on your collarbone and stained your shirt, so he drags you to the sink in the back bathroom and starts washing your hands and arms for you.

“Shuji. I have to give a statement to the-”murmuring in a terrified tone as your bottom lip quivers more and tears brim at your lash line. Shuji shoots you an admonishing look in warning.

“No.” Cutting you off with a single word as he turns off the faucet and grabs a towel to dry you off. The authoritative tone was enough to make the other’s tense up as if Mikey or Draken were reprimanding them.

“Shu-“ you begin again - voice just barely above a whisper - as you peer up at him, but he looks at you with an expression that screamed ‘not another word’. Gulping loudly as you shrink back slightly and nod up at him in submission. Swiftly turning to the other three, who jump at his sudden attention - feeling more like a wild cat was zeroing in on its prey - they all subconsciously stand at attention.

“Chifuyu, take her home. Don’t let her speak to anyone. Stay with her until I get there.” He orders, and though Chifuyu wanted to argue, the look on Shuji’s face told him it was better to just nod. So he did, and came over to gently take you by the arm. Looking up at Shuji with pure panic written across your face, “Go,” he commands in the same tone as before. Nodding timidly, before you follow Chifuyu without another word. Shuji then wordlessly looks at Kisaki, who nods and pulls out his phone to make a call.

“Takemitchy,” he says looking down at the blonde who gulps but squares his shoulders anyway. “If you breathe a word of this, then I will kill you and everything you love.” Stating without any emotion in his voice, but his eyes showed a darkness beyond human comprehension. Takemitchy slowly nods - never having seen Shuji, or anyone, be this severe before.

Kisaki snaps his phone shut, making Takemitchy jump and look in his direction. The 3rd Division Captain nods towards the door, and though he hesitates for a moment, Takemitchy exits the office and beelines down the stairs. On his way down, a member from the opposing team is climbing the stairs at the same time but doesn’t acknowledge the blonde. Later on, Takemitchy heard that he was charged and sent to jail for the guy who died in the office.

Once outside, Chifuyu didn’t say much to you other than simple instructions - put on the helmet, get on the bike, hold on, go inside. Regardless of the minimal conversation, he was by no means rude to you. If anything he seemed a little scared of you, so when he spotted Scrabble on your bookshelf and asked if you wanted to play, you agreed.

3 hours of round after round of scrabble until you heard the roar of Shuji’s bike pulling up. Both you and Chifuyu looked relieved to finally be able to stop playing, though you did find out that he had a pretty vast vocabulary - which you made sure to tell him before Shuji entered the apartment. Chifuyu gave you a respectful smile and nod before heading out the door - not a word was exchanged between him and Shuji.

Once the door was shut, you were a little worried that Shuji would still be in the same mood from earlier, but when he spun around and you saw the softness in his eyes you almost collapsed with relief. Closing the distance between you in two long steps, Shuji then scoops you up and plops down on the couch with you on his lap, nestled safely in his arms. He doesn’t utter a word, just sits there breathing you in and occasionally squeezing you tighter - as if to make sure you were real. It’s a long while before he speaks, and when he does he leans back to look you squarely in the eye.

“Fuck Y/N - I’m so sorry,” he whispers in a guilt ridden voice. “I had no idea what they were planning to do - I didn’t even know you were in danger - Fuck!” Chastising himself roughly as he looks away from you, but you can feel his long fingers trembling where they are wrapped around your back and arm. Slowly, you lean forward until you’re resting your forehead on Shuji’s shoulder causing his breath to catch in his throat. You don’t speak though - you have no clue what to say, or even how you feel after such an ordeal.

“Y/N?” Calling your name quietly, concern lacing his voice. “Are you alright?” Whispering out the question almost timidly as he tightens his arms around you again. Humming softly, you just bury your face into the crook of his neck and lean even more into his chest.

“Mhm,” murmuring softly so he’ll stop fretting, “can we stay like this for a little while, please?” Requesting in a soft and airy voice that makes Shuji nod silently as he lays down on the couch with you still snugly held against his chest. It’s not long before you drift off to sleep in his warm embrace, and he carries you off to bed.

After this day, Shuji goes back to sleeping in the same room as you every night, though now you sometimes sleep at his apartment instead of yours. Even though you told him that you were fine, Shuji said that he wasn’t - that he just needed to know you were safe. Coincidentally, you also start seeing more Toman members around in general - like at your school, near your job, sometimes just passing by your apartment. Shuji just shrugged it off when you asked about it, but you had a feeling he had something to do with the extra protection of late.

The boy next door becomes overly cautious about you after that - never enough to hinder your freedom though - instead he keeps a watchful eye on you at all times, often with Kisaki’s help. Typically, members of the Third Division would show up to escort you through dodgy areas of town when Shuji couldn’t be there. They were all really friendly towards you, and eventually became your acquaintances at the very least, but still you never really knew the operations of Toman and you never asked either.

That day in the warehouse, Shuji broke his promise that he made to himself, but after that he never let his world touch you again. Blissfully unaware just how deep he had gotten into his world when he finally asked you to be his girlfriend; or when your separate homes become one; or when he asked you to be his wife; or even when he made you the mother of his children.

Though over the years you’ve had your suspicions, especially when he would sometimes return home in his three piece suit with the faint aroma of blood and gunpowder clinging to the fabric, but you never ask him about it.

How could you when he does everything in his power to make sure you and your children never want for anything and keeps all of you inexplicably safe. Even if you were explicitly aware of his activities - would you really care? At the end of it all, you’ve been in love with him since the day you first met that boy next door.

#tokyo rev x reader #shuji hanma x reader #shuji x reader #pernesophe #SP's Headspace

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