#this might make no sense but like. it makes sense in my head ok
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
“It looks better on you anyway…”
summary: you’ve been dating for a while and, to make you officially his, Eddie gives you something very special….
*no warnings only fluff (ok maybe there’s a bit of a suggestive content here but nothing too serious)*
(i had this draft for a while now and i loooove this headcannon! hope you like it as much as i do)
“What do you mean by it’s not official?” You desperately asked Robin
“Wait a minute, i didn’t say that! It is official, just not official official.” She says sipping her drink.
“Robin you’re not making any sense right now.” Nancy replies seeing how nervous you got.
The three of you were having a girls night at a bar, only to gossip, have some drinks and celebrate womanhood. But now, after a few drinks, you shared with the girls your story with Eddie and how it was when you finally got to be together. It was actually so casual and simple because Eddie knew you didn’t like to cause a big scene and to have all attention to you. So you had a nice date and on the way back to your house, before you could get in, he asked if you wanted to be his girl and if he could be your boyfriend. You didn’t waist a minute and involved him in a hug and a lot of kisses.
“I’m just saying that some couples like to make a gesture to make it official, so everyone else can see they’re taken. And, in your case, that’s not what happened.” Robin explains herself and now your head was thinking of all the things Eddie might have given to you
“Didn’t you hear her story? That was exactly the opposite Eddie was trying to do, he wanted to be a special moment for just the two of them. I think that’s very sweet of him.” Nancy and Robin keep arguing when it comes to you
“So you’re saying that hypothetically he was supposed to give me something, like a ring?” You interrupt them making both girls look at you
“He’s not supposed to do anything, but yes, that’s what i meant.” She replied and then started to tell a story about one of her old friends.
By the end of the night, Eddie picks you up and takes you to his place, as you agreed. You were going to spend the weekend with him.
“Hey pretty girl! How was girls night?” He kisses the top of you head and help you get in his van.
“It was very nice, but you know how Robin can get very excited about some stuff and how Nancy doesn’t agree with her but still tries to be nice and it goes on and on.” He laughs at your words and he enters the van too. “But you’ll see, i’m still going to make them become best friends!”
You keep talking about your night to him and you two stay in a comfortable silence listening to one of his Black Sabbath tapes until you get to his home. He turns off the car and before he could hop off, you stop him.
“What is it sweetheart?” He asked looking at your face, searching for something wrong.
“Can i ask you something?” You look at his hands full of rings holding yours.
“Of course you can, you can ask me anything.” He said and his tone couldn’t be sweeter
“Earlier we were taking about dating and the girls asked me how it was when you asked to be my boyfriend, and i told them. But Robin said that even though it was the most teeth-rotting story ever there was something wrong, something was missing…”
Eddie was scared of your next words but still encouraged you to continue.
“She said that normally, after a while, it’s common for the guy to give to his girlfriend something, like a gesture or a gift i don’t know. But that’s supposed to be like an affirmation of the relationship… You know what, forget it, it’s fucking stupid.” You give up on telling him what you wanted and turn to leave the car.
“Hey hey, wait a minute. There’s nothing stupid about that! You can take your time, but i want to hear it.” Eddie says, giving your hands gentle rubs.
“I feel stupid asking you this, and you know how you are my first boyfriend so i’m not sure how things are supposed to be now…” You organize the words in your head before you tell him. “Alright, hm, I was going to ask if maybe you plan to do that… i don’t want you to give me anything, and i know we’re not dating for a impressive long time and maybe we’re supposed to wait a bit more for that, i don’t even know if you are expecting me to give something to you. I am a bit lost…” You said everything too fast and got lost on your own words. But Eddie listened to you very carefully and understood what was happening.
“Are you saying that you want something, this ‘gesture’, to officialize our relationship?” He asked and looked at your eyes “Well, i wasn’t actually thinking of giving you something right now, but now that you said that i’m thinking of something here…” He let go of your hands and put them behind his neck. “ I really like the idea of people seeing that you are taken, that you are only mine… turn around, please.”
You were confused but still, you turn around and you can feel him getting closer. So close that your back is hitting his chest. He starts to whisper when you see him put his necklace in front of you.
“What do you think babe?” His soft voice rings in your ear and you admire his hands holding his necklace that you always made sure to tell him how much you loved it on him, of how attractive he looked with the pick hanging over his chest. “I know how much you like this, and imagine that… you walking around with this very specific necklace around your neck. This screams ‘i have a fucking man, he’s a rockstar, a hottie, and im all fucking his’. Uh, i loved that!”
You were smiling and blushing at his words as he lifted your hair up and put the necklace on you. You didn’t know what to say and got all nervous but you were relieved he liked your idea.
“I loved it Eds, thank you!” You dropped your hair and looked at the pick now hanging in the middle of your tits.
“I loved the placement don’t you.” He teases you and you can hear his mischievous smile and the way he’s giggling when you shove him. “I’m serious, i can imagine already, you on top of me and the pick hanging there and… wait a minute. THATS WHY YOU LIKED IT SO MUCH!
You start to laugh and cover your face embarrassed. “Shut up Eddie!”
“No baby, don’t hide your pretty face. Let me see you.” You lean into his body again and look up at him. “You do look very attractive with it.” And as he speaks, you can feel his hand on your jaw, making you look up at him, and the other, caressing your thigh.
“What about you? I don’t want to just take your necklace like that.”
“Don’t worry sweetheart, i can make another one for me so we can match, if that’s your concern.” He says teasing you once again. “But now that’s your necklace. It looks better on you anyway, so”
You just close your eyes, feeling him touching your nose with his before he kisses you passionately. Even after lots of shared kisses between the two of you, he still manages to take your breath away.
“Come on, let’s go inside.” He opened his door and yours too, being the gentleman he is, and with an arm thrown around your shoulder, he leads you inside. “Maybe we can test that theory, to see if the pick will look good on you when you’re on top of me.” He makes you giggle and you playfully slap his chest as you walk up and open the door.
“Maybe…”
#eddie munson#eddie munson fic#eddie stranger things#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie x reader#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson headcanon
304 notes
·
View notes
Note
For the ask game 💕
💕 Time for a shout-out! What are some of your fav AUs from other creators in the fandom? ⭑ dca au ask game
^-^ ....OK! I shall set down all the cakes on the table for a full buffet! Get your forks & knives out! 🍽️🍽️🍽️
please don't hesitate to let me know if you'd prefer not to be @'d in the future, or to be removed from this post u_u <3 I totally respect folk's preferences!
✨ lets go! ⭑⭑⭑ ⭑⭑⭑ ⭑⭑⭑
@muzzlemouths Dead Mall Dare / DfTR AU(s) Dead Mall Dare was one of the first AUs I read (like, literally. 1-2 months ago!) & I went woooaaah they are fun removed from original context. Isn't that so neat ?? This isn't a rabbithole to fall in, tho. u_u No wayyy guys c'mon ... /j Likewise, DfTR is a treat to watch unfold & see people squirm ^-^
@r0b0-wannabe Botanical Garden AU (or just any of your stories, but I'm.. sticking to the law...s... ) Hi, I stayed up to 2-3am drawing ur boys bc Im normal about this AU & how endearing it is... obviously... (💚) I love your writing style & characterizations. Maybe this is silly, but, I also enjoy learning about plantcare, too :3
@sinister-sincerely 2nd Choice AU Oh, you are so evil. The username matches. (A COMPLIMENT!! Hehe.) Oh, you write drama, angst/no comfort, hurting/damaged characters making awful choices so well. It was wild doing a double-take to realize YOU! are the WRITER for 2nd choice!! Some day, I will get u. For now, run 💜🔪
@wyervan Human!Slasher AU :D Yay! Both the OG/Main storyline are wonderful. I find the community version very endearing as an AU-within-an-AU. (love that!) As someone who used to run RP groups (on god!) it fills my heart with joy to see people filling out a world with so much life. Your art style is delightfully grungy ^-^/
@pluck-heartstrings - Pluck My Heartstrings AU Ohhh. I am weak to fairytale/renfaire vibes, as well as the more classic harlequin jester aesthetic u_u<3 Plus, the Vocalist/Princess is just so dang compelling, too. Your design sense is impeccable.
@moon-buggg Haunted House & Mad Scientist AUs They are both so neat & I can't wait to learn more!! The Haunted House AU designs live in my head rent free along with the comics :3
@zenkaiankoku Broken but Better AU Lovely, torn-up designs! Yay, mechanical horror! Yay, angst!! And a delightful remix of their personalities, too <3
@authormeat Alienware AU ^-^ I am instantly delighted by the weird guy freak energy & that the yn IS an alien/monster. Thats all I want & more. I also love ur designs for other AUs
...
...
...... 🧍 I Have More to Say
And...And... Not.. AU specific, but 🏏💥BAM , BAM 💥🏏 LOVELY FOLKS!!!!!!
🍲 <{ @soupdweller THERE IS NO ESCAPE ok but fr.. I appreciate ya, homie :3 you are a joy to chat with!! beautiful art!! evil mind!! delicious soups. i cant wait for whatever u cook up ^-^ 🐤 <{ @luckyyyduckyyy I WILL READ UR AU STORIES!! RUN & HIDE!!! you are the goofiest goober in the wild west, by goodness. i love ur energy and the gorgeous designs u create!! 🐛 <{ @chickenchirps27 ACK I COULD STARE AT UR ART FOREVER! I'll have to start volleying over illustrators I think ya might enjoy... u are so sweet & funny!! 🐐 <{ @lurking-loaf YOU ARE SO KIND! Seriously, I appreciate the fun craft projects you recommended -& your words of support :') 🔮 <{ @anis-sketches :D HI! Happy to throw recs your way. Also, your art is adorable!! 🌿 <{ @craykaycee HI TO U TOO!! the tags u leave always make me smile, and i appreciate u stopping by to say hi... :3 & MANYMANY MORE BUT I NEED TO CUT MYSELF OFF OR ELSE
Per usual, I lost sight of the original goal. But! Consider:
🏏💥WHAM , BAM 💥🏏 GOTCHU >:)
#pom yaps#dca au ask game#ask games#💚💚💚#taking a sledgehammer & appearing in YOUR walls to say hi :D#this took a few days to type up fhgdshjgf oops
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hello, it's me, good old Wheatley! I tought that maybe I should speak to other people, it gets pretty lonely up here after all, and what better place to do it than the always safe and reliable internet! Surprisingly there's connection up here, so if you have any asks or rockets to send PLEASE do :-) //Wheatley RP ask blog run by a Weatley fictionkin! Main blog: @shr00mie-rat
//Notes, Rules and Text keys below
//Notes: -First let me get something clear; I'M NOT BRITISH, I know nothing of british culture and such, so I'll take advantage of the fact that Wheatley rarely uses British slang and that he was practically raised by Americans (even though I'm not American either) to use American terminology -along with the previous note, english is not my first language so apologize if I write something incorrectly -if your ask takes too much time to answer or just doesn't get answered it's because I'm busy with something irl, even though I'm starting this blog while I have some free time, i fear of getting busy some time soon, so my apologies in advance -along with the previous note, I might also take time to answer due to lack of motivation, ideas for responses, I simply didn't felt like responding it for any reason or merely just forgot about it -most of the responses will include a drawing either because it fits or because I feel like it -Most of this blog will be core and post game Wheatley and try to stay as canon as I can, but any other moment of the timeline (pre-post portal 1/pre portal 2) are ok -along with the previous note, there'll be some head cannons scattered here and there but they won't affect much of the canon -I haven't roleplayed in a really long time //Rules: -No NSFW, please, just don't, keep in mind that the mun is a minor -Keep ships at minimum, as much as I love shipping, I don't think the canon universe could fit many of them -OC friendly, as long as it makes sense in universe -if you're asking/rp as another character please make clear who you are unless your acc gives it away -if anything I do is not of your liking, either in a mun or muse response, don't send hate or report the blog, just block -basic rp rules like: No godmodding, no powerplay, no metagaming, no retconning -Sometimes (but I hope never) my emotions might win over me and will probably proyect my feelings over my muse //Text key: //OOC Narration "Speech" (Thoughts) 'Writing' //If you have any doubts, you can always DM me on my main blog :D
#ask blog#ask me anything#send asks#portal wheatley#wheatly portal 2#wheatley#portal 2#portal#fictionkin#fictotype
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok I’m like… back to this. I do love that the coffin of andy & leyley is so brutally bluntly HORROR as in not pg 13 blumhouse ghost horror movies that shy away from anything too taboo but horror that’s meant to offend & upset. I like the way it sees shit you’re not “supposed” to talk about & goes as hard as it can like - I don’t think at this point it’s a secret to literally anyone who follows me or has ever discussed fiction with me ever that the controversial or daring are obvious draws for me in any genre but particularly my favorite genre of horror.
like an anon suggested this to me, I saw the words “cannibalism” “incest” & “botched satanic ritual” as soon as I googled & was ready to check it out BUT I think it’s worth noting that it’s not the dark concepts themselves that got this game its well earned hype or that ensure that it lives rent free in my head & the heads of other fans.
I think the writers have created really compelling & complex multilayered characters & a fascinating storyline with a lot of questions left unanswered about the nature of these demons & of human souls & the world these characters inhabit & I’m being so sincere here I also think it’s a really thought provoking critique or at least exploration of the american nuclear family.
I already said this but I would’ve stopped caring pretty fast if andrew & ashley were not more than their archetypes which SURE are fun we love a quirky evil girlboss & her simp boyfriend brother but the fun archetypes are not enough on their own to keep me hooked. luckily, these are some of the least 1 dimensional characters I’ve ever seen. this got carried away talking about how good I think the game is & giving an obligatory disclaimer that yeah, I totally got into it initially for shallow & edgy reasons lol but I actually wanted to talk about the themes because I genuinely think it’s an incredibly well crafted story. anyway -
I think it’s really interesting that ashley is the one that is originally shown believing / hoping their mom hasn’t truly abandoned them. andrew discourages her from having hope in their mom or considering trying to find her until it’s about finding sacrifices for the demon & getting money. yet this initial dynamic is totally forgotten once they’re home. ashley just wants to kill these motherfuckers while andrew is busy playing mind games & - one might argue- playing house / pretending be a happy family. it’s andrew who is offered the olive branch. who we see considering sparing his parents or at least feeling conflicted about killing them. in the flashbacks we see that “andy” was forced to take care of “leyley” & she uses it against him “mom says you have to play with me.”
ashley is so depressingly achingly desperate for any hint of affection & it’s so obvious the reason she’s latched into andrew is that he’s the only one who’s ever chosen her. that’s why she’s so obsessed with calling andrew “andy” despite the conflict it constantly creates. andy helped her hide a body. a possibly hot take but I don’t think leyley was going “yay murder” in her child brain - I don’t think she cared that the girl died don’t get me wrong - but I do believe it was an accident. this is a happy memory though because it’s the only time in ashley’s entire life that someone has chosen her with that level of commitment. yet for andrew it’s horrific & traumatic & he wants to get away from it - or so he tells himself. maybe his parents were decent to him or at least not actively hateful how they were to ashley but it’s abundantly clear based on the fact the story’s premise relies on them leaving him to fucking starve to death that they do not give a fuck about him.
when mrs. graves tells andrew that there’s still hope for him & that she always cared about him the compliments she chooses are telling - they thought he was easy, quiet, a good kid - they thought they could have another (& hand her off to him to take care of). and ofc it’s worth noting mrs. graves only says all this to save her own skin & would never freely talk about caring about andrew.
so andy is living this cold not abusive but certainly empty & devoid of nurturing life & along comes leyley. she’s annoying & needy but she loves him with such reckless abandon. adult ashley’s words say it all. “If only you could love me with half the heart I love you with.” but he DOES he just doesn’t know how to show it the way she does. so he chooses her again & again & tries to make her happy with violence & bending to her will & showing her he’d do anything for her with everything he can except the one thing she wants which is simple affection.
as things get more & more dire ashley gets more abusive, controlling & manipulative embodying the worst aspects of her mother - a cold heartless bitch who never cared about anyone but herself - & andrew gets more & more apathetic just like his worthless father who’s barely even a person in his wife’s shadow.
it’s a really tragic story & I love this idea of characters on the run but they’re really running from themselves & that’s something you can never escape. how telling is it that the one thing ashley doesn’t want is to be buried in the same grave as her parents? but this story is about a grave it’s always been about a coffin in one way or another, they thought they escaped when they got out of the apartment but they’re still in it because they’ll always still be in it, you can’t escape from who you are at your core & there’s a reason ashley having tarred soul is such a glaring theme & episode 2 (in some versions) ends with andrew gaining a mark on his hand from the demon. they’re marked & there’s no escape. I’m sorry it’s just REALLY good horror. ok I’m done for now
#tcoaal#this might make no sense but like. it makes sense in my head ok#I really wanted to ramble about this game it’s like. filled my brain with worms#the coffin of andy and leyley#andrew graves#ashley graves
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#blood tw#ruporas art#love u when i get to cuddle u and love u when i get to feel ur blood soak into my hands#being this close to one another means the eternal suffering of trying to separate love and mission. love for one and love for humanity#i like to think of pre-vol8 vash as someone who struggles with his feelings for ww bc as equal and as trusted he is -#vash knows his responsibilities and he knows/expects ww wouldn't let him stray from it either. for that he can't take to any romantic incli#and i think itd make him view ww in a stricter non-personal way... If that makes ANY sense.#for ww - take someone who youv gotten close to and ended up liking more than you expected#someone who has a belief and follows it stubbornly - someone who'll get into more fights and trouble more than youv had your entire life#ww thinks of him as a monster but he knows theres a limit he himself can take - i feel like hes considered what might be the limit for vash#for Safety measures. just in case. yknow. whenever he himself might have to load the bullet < him hyping himself up as if he could do it#my point being that the thought of vash being dead crosses his mind more than he'd like. i think its a simultaneous dread drop in his stoma#for failure of the mission - but also an Ok? They can be killed? and also a disastrous gunning of his own heart. considering how much they#both live in their own heads some days are Just the worst ever for them in each others company. but also they lov each other :[ sooo much
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
The Girl Who Died // Hell Bent
#dwedit#doctor who#usertennant#userveronika#userteri#twelfth doctor#clara oswald#doctor x clara#twelveclara#*#I'M SICK OF LOSING PEOPLE. LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR EYES AND YOUR NEVER GIVING UP AND YOUR ANGER AND YOUR KINDNESS.#ONE DAY THE MEMORY OF THAT WILL HURT SO MUCH THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE AND I'LL DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO.#I'LL GET IN MY BOX AND I'LL RUN AND I'LL RUN IN CASE ALL THE PAIN EVER CATCHES UP. AND EVERY PLACE I GO IT WILL BE THERE.#anyway idk if this makes sense outside of my head but the journey between like#she might meet someone she can't bear to lose -> gives her a second repair kit so she can make someone else immortal too ->#he can't bear to lose clara -> he brings her back from the dead which makes her functionally immortal ->#look how far i went for fear of losing you#ok actually i need to make a full parallel set. someone remind me to do that
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
WANT to make more of like evil king jaime x brienne but im stuck on what brienne is supposed to be in this au like.... what are situations i can put them in !
#thinking abt whats the opposite situation of jb?#i have this thought of like instead of wench he calls her my bride kind of making fun of the name#so it might be like he heard that rumor that she won't marry anyone who can't beat her so he picks a fight i.e - prev art and he WINS so#he's gonna marry her and she's like no i dont want to marry u u sicko and he's like wow are u backing down?? u dont have any honor? but lik#in a mocking way. also bri is prob not like highborn but i can imagine jaime going for her bc its a) amusing b) he's the king he can do#whatever he wants?? who says he has to marry a highborn he'll kill anyone that does like if he killed#his way to get the throne i feel like he just does whatever he wants lmfao and i guess in this au#what he wants is to annoy the shit outta brienne#but also im like WHAT IF brienne has kind of like a sandor role where she's in the kg#and iirc sansa had joff's kid in this canon so bri being her bodyguard#then jaime just states ok im going to marry brienne who's supposed to be protecting the wife of the kid i just killed like#sans cant take a break even in this canon 😭😭😭#but hmm idk ... i feel like its tricky for me to just draw stuff w/o context like .. how will that make sense#to me. like the narrative in my head. u know ??
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like such a pretentious fuck trying to explain why I haven’t started my third set of paintings for my senior project lmfao BRO I HAVE TO HAVE A VISION!!!!!! I wish I was joking. I have to have a vision at 3 am or some other random ass moment of time. okay!!!!!!!
#this is why I say that painting is like doing dream interpretation for me#it’s basically the same process#the somewhat nonsensical imagery pops in my head and then I attempt to spell it out#and then eventually it might make sense and might say something about my subconscious#but in the moment I’m painting it I’m just trying to spell out whatever image keeps flashing in my head#and the process contains a lot of ‘wow it would be cool if I did this’ moments that usually aren’t based on anything#then in the end it becomes something or maybe it isn’t actually anything but if it’s evocative enough people will make something of it#also yah I usually figure out what to make of it#this is sorta why I don’t like prompts because I’ll get much too literal in my work#but if I have wiggle room then sometimes it’s ok#like don’t tell me what it’s supposed to mean before I make it!! then it’s not even doing a puzzle anymore cuz I already know the answer!#I love you extremely vague and open ended prompts
3 notes
·
View notes
Photo
gross
#tomgreg#THEYR E SO CUTE IM GONNA actually be sick.#i hate so much tom's fuckin. laugh here bc its so high pitched and heS NOT HOLDING BACK. AGAIN.#something something he's his true self around greg something something after years of repression he feels alive again something something#schoolboy tom makes another appearance. he's so playful!!!#AND TOUCHING GREG'S SUIT AGAIN. just like the tie before in fucking UHHH i cant remember the episode. but s2 i think.#he does it really quickly though. like he remembers they're in public and he's gotta stop treating greg like they really are spouses.#and abt the next part don't worry i'm gonna be. talking. about That. but this part gets its own bit bc!!!!!! man#OH AND DONT THINK I DIDNT NOTICE GREG TOUCHING TOM TOO. TOUCHING HIS ARM UNNECESSARILY. they're so touchy here. sigh. sigh.#yet not a hug. just light touches. a hug would be too friendly. if that makes sense? these touches are more. spousal.#like you'd hug your mate at a party right. and sure you might hug a partner or spouse. but idkkk idk it reads more.#just the touchings of the suits. oh you look nice tonight dear. don't wanna spoil your pretty outfit. that'll happen later at home. GODDDDDD#BECAAAAAUSE OF WHAT THEY SAY NEXT!!! THE WHOLE. PROVE IT THING! OH HH GODDHNWEW#my head cracks open. ok okok ig ot ta go i'm going i'm fucking. bye#im so fuckin pressed about the nero sporus thing IF TOM HADNT SAID THAT BULLSHIT I WOULDNT BE THINKING SHIT LIKE THIS#i mean maybe i would BUT I WOULDNT ACTUALLY PUT ANY STOCK IN IT BC HE WOULDNT HAVE SAID IT OUT RIGHT. god. i'm in pain#lord send the plagues. end my suffering
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
forever in my mind roller derby player x ice figure skater ideas </3
#god ok you might Think of durby will x figure skater mike#but think of durby mike x figure skater will????#this is my new chief x baker au. not at all as interesting an any of my other au's but CONSTANTLY in the back of my head#ohhhuggh...#honestly both work (durby mike x skater will or durby will x skater mike) i just rlly like durby mike....#babble#byler au#<- FOR MY ORGANIZATION#YEAH i COULD make it hockey or whatever so it's two ice sorts and that would make more sense for meeting but...don't talk to me
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
doctors be diagnosing me with problems.
#broken pencil#I started seeing a therapist last week for the first time ever. I think it's ok.#I'm currently changing my antidepressants to different ones. so I'm. In the fucking Trenches dude#I told my therapist my psychiatrist told me i “probably have ptsd” and then they were like how long ago did they diagnose you?#and i was just like oh god. Is that a diagnosis. Like i guess that makes sense. I just never know when a doctor is like#this might be you or I'm Telling you this is you#Told one doctor a dermatoligist suggested I have pcos and she was like yeah. Writes that down.#Theyre just SO BLUNT ABOUT IT#Told my psych about my extreme levels of anxiety and she was like “So when did the paranoia start?”#SORRY YOU JUST GRADUATED MY REGULAR ANXIETY TO PARANOIA? I HAVE PARANOIA?#🍳🍳🍳🤪 Me getting slapped over the head with obvious shit#Also when i saw my therapist and told them about my problems they were just like. So it's like that thing your parents did? LIKE YEAH.#I GUESS IT'S ALL LIKE THAT THING MY PARENTS DID AND IT'S BEEN THAT THE WHOLE TIME HUH.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think the huge chunk in the middle of my wip notebook that is just manic notes, outlines, time lines, entire chapters complete with edits from the last (almost) year that I abandoned should idk... have the decency to tear themselves out and set themselves on fire
#nothing like sitting down last night like: you know what! I am gonna try again! fck it! I CAN write!#I know I can cause I checked! I can absolutely write it's fine I'm actually pretty good at this!#and opening the notebook and looking at the cery loose wip notes and going: ok! I can work with like 80% of this!#what else is in here?!!!#that was my mistake.... I should not have looked at what else was in there#pages and pages and pages of 3 different wips I tried to make work for one ship#a couple for another#a whole fleshed out 5+1 for a beloved ship wip that I just.... gave up on#notes from the last fic I shared nearly a year ago#that was the last time my writing flowed. I could read those notes and be like#oh this bitch is onto something. she's FEELING IT.#and then after that. poof. I tried and tried and tried and tried.#and then I got all in my head abt the one ship. and the source material. and I honest to god just.#kinda burned myself out on fic and fandom and blorbos in general tbh. like. that ship nearly killed my creativity.#for good.#but now I'm kinda like hmmmm you knkw what I'm not bad actually!!!#but then. open the notebook. and womp womp. maybe I am bad. maybe I've always been bad. maybe I SHOULDN'T try again.#closed the notebook and went to bed. idk if I wanna look at it tonight again#might just fuck off and try to make sense of the new true d ep that's apparently out tonight#(this season has been so mid so far mehhh)#erin explains it all
1 note
·
View note
Text
entering my mostly sober era fr this shit kindve rocks ngl
#🍒#i like to drink its fun but i drink too much and w out purpose. same goes for weed#i think if i didnt indulge in one or the other or both every night and only like once or twice a week. id be a lot happier :3#alcoholism OVER pot head era OVER#cant do the things i love to do most when im drunk or high all the time and it finally seems like right place right time for me to realize#i can stay up and read tonight…. ive been pretty much only reading at work bc its the one time i cant be drunk or high all thru out#ok. like my world just got a little bit bigger#i need you guys to realize how big this is for me ive drank like every night for the past year#also not Indulging every night will make the times i do more enjoyable#this is like. basic common sense but its like a revelation ive been working up to like i was a teenage alcoholic and an adult achie haulic#alchie hydraulic… that was gona be my joke. dammit…#anyways it feels really good to not be high or drunk rn usually i loathe it and hate it but rn. it feels like sunshine :3#uhm. this might be cringe but idc ! been obsessed w drugs and booze my whole damn life ! am finally realizing! having a moment here !#okay no more tumblr diary posts im gona. get some ice cream even tho its not my day off (when. i usually let myself have some) and im gona#read and have fun and eventually fall asleep very peacefully :3 good night tumblr
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why, as a graduate of history who really should know better, am I always surprised when I finish a novel and go read some analysis of it only to end up saying, “Hang on, people think that character might have been an unreliable narrator???”
#I expect lies in historical sources but there's something about fictions that lulls me into a false sense of security#Lies? In my Victorian literature? It's more likely than you think#Note this does not mean I LIKE said characters#Frequently I'm thinking 'Wow they're an ass' as I read them#But unless they're evidently villainous I still tend to just accept them at their word#The Woman in White#I'm still not of the opinion that Walter is seriously lying but certainly they make a point about his point of view#At least with Wuthering Heights I clocked that Nellie had her own opinions pretty early on but still#Reading people's views on unreliable narration undeniably improves my enjoyment of the text though#Regardless of whether I agree or disagree#Especially re: Wuthering Heights by the way because although I do not agree with the idea that Nellie is the true villain of the piece#I adore her as a very complex character and I think it's mildly hilarious (and heartbreaking)#that she's sitting there being like 'Yeah Heathcliffe and Cathy and Hindley really became very strange people; I turned out fine tho'#Like hen darling sweetheart you are also very much Not Ok#The unreliable narration just makes the whole book all the more fascinating#But I'm getting off topic#Anyway I'd be a terrible literary critic not because I don't see very minor themes that other people might have overlooked#But the things that everyone else saw straight away and thought were obvious? They go straight over my head#reading log
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
shoutouts to tumblr being kinda normal about homestuck for a while until that poll thing happened
#EDIT: HOLD ON MY NOTES GOT SCROMPLED AROUND#normal is defined as#QUOTATION MARKS#its kinda fucking racist without ever exactly getting better in that regard and had a likewise problematic history wi#with every other societal ill but it DID markedly improve on most of those throughout its lifespan. to deny either is fucking stupid.#its not a south park level 'persona non grata' type media to consume though its. literally it just isn't.#even baseline consumption of south park isn't technically the issue its. well its FANDOMING it you can watch a shitty show thats not.-#ok thats sidetracking things. you can read homestuck and make it your personality theres a lot more good than bad in there its just that th#bad shit really sucks and the fandomside bad shit is even fucking worse good golly jesus christ#END QUOTATION MARKS#reintroduces myself to the fandom like 'hey wow i don't respect any of you people! fuck off! heres my comic!'#don't trust a trans homestuck fan with over (arbitrary number) followers. don't trust a cis one either though. don't trust a homestuck fan.#also don't trust a fan of telling you to not trust homestuck fans they're the worst of them all they should be put to death#*beaten over the head with a hammer by a second myself*#theres some sort of parallelism between homestuck sonic and their respective fandoms in that sense. but it might only seem that way because#i know more sonic fandomside horrors and treasures than i do a lotta larger fandoms even for things i'm more active in
1 note
·
View note
Text
gyro wants me dead argopro wants me dead everyone wants me dead. can't take this shit anymore
#skittles.txt#I DON'T WANNA TAG ALL OF THEM . do I give them a joint tag. What on earth do I make it tho#it’s hard bc my dynamic with gyro is nayuta is my brother and I kiss all 4 of his bandmates. like how do u make a joint tag for that#wtvr that’s BESIDES the point.#the point is the symbolism killed me. idk if I’m strong enough to explain rn#THERES ALSO. A CLIP IN THE MV SHOWING NAYUTAS CHILDHOOD LIKE A TINY BIT. GIRL#it was umm. well. that is a topic for a different post#I’m not even kidding when I say I was gonna write an essay about nayuta for college but then I dropped out#I might write smth about him anyway tho. I’d love to say I get him on a deep level however I don’t rly. I’m learning tho#I don’t know everything about him to the point I can joke about no one getting him like I can however#he means so so much to me and I think about him extremely often and that alone slowly makes me understand him better#bc I’m constantly doing a deep dive of his character in my head and learning new things just from thinking about him#does that make sense. look me in the eyes does that make sense .#I love all my familial f/os so much but I don’t think I’ve had this much of a connection to one since like. samatoki a few years back#samatoki might still be more tho idk just dormant bc I don’t pay attention to hypm*c anymore. off topic#point is I love nayuta :3 he wouldn’t be able to stand my ass. I’m his special little guy tho /p so it’s ok#f:nayuta#<- I’m at least tagging him since I’m explicitly talking abt him#in the tags anyway
0 notes