#this man is going to kill me to death i swear | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thebarneschronicles · 1 day ago

Text

Nine Lives

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Word Count: 9.4k

Synopsis: Bucky Barnes drives you insane—in every possible way. The bickering, the reckless plans, the way he smirks like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you. But when a mission goes sideways, leaving you both bloodied and too close for comfort, the tension between you ignites into something impossible to ignore.

You can keep pretending. Keep fighting him. But Bucky isn’t one to back down—especially when he knows you don’t really want him to.

Trigger Warnings: Bullet wounds, unprotect sex (wrap it before you tap it!), p in v, dirty talk, BUCKY BARNES (he needs his own warning)

Author’s Note: I had been tinkering with a few scenes in this and the Thunderbolts trailer made me finish it. Hope you like it! B x

-- Bucky Barnes was going to be the death of you.

Whether it was because he got on your last nerve or because you were desperately, irrevocably, undeniably in love with him—either way, he’d be the reason your heart stopped beating.

And honestly? It might happen in the next five minutes. Because God help you, the man was insufferable.

The room smelled like burnt coffee and bad decisions.

Sam stood at the front, gesturing at a holographic map as he laid out the mission plan, his voice steady and patient—too patient, the way a parent speaks when they know their kids are about to cause problems.

You were paying attention. You really were. But out of the corner of your eye, you could see Bucky leaning against the wall, arms crossed– and looking bored out of his mind.

Every once in a while, he flicked his gaze to you, not saying anything. Just watching.

And you knew that look. That I’m about to do something reckless and you’re going to yell at me for it look.

You gritted your teeth.

“—we’ll go in through the east entrance,” Sam continued, pointing at the building layout. “Stealth is key. No unnecessary attention.”

Bucky made a quiet sound. It wasn’t quite a scoff, but it was close enough.

Sam’s jaw flexed. “Got something to add, Barnes?”

Bucky shrugged, like the whole thing was barely worth his effort. “I just think you’re overcomplicating it.”

Your brows shot up. Oh, here we go.

Sam closed his eyes, visibly counting to ten. “What part is complicated?”

Bucky shifted, pushing off the wall. “The part where we’re tiptoeing around like we’re on a damn field trip. We go in, take out the threats, get what we need. Done.”

You turned in your chair, slowly. “Take out the threats?”

Bucky smirked. “What?”

“What?” you repeated, voice rising. “You mean brute force? Like some kind of rabid raccoon?”

Sam sighed deeply, rubbing his temples.

Bucky grinned, which somehow made it worse. “I’d say more wolf, but sure.”

Your grip tightened on the edge of the table. “Barnes, if you go off-script, I swear to God—”

“Relax, doll,” he said, casual as anything. “I’ll mostly follow the plan.”

Your eye twitched. “Mostly?”

Sam exhaled sharply, muttering to himself. “I should start charging overtime for this.”

Bucky wasn’t done, though—he turned that damn smirk back on you. “You do love bossing me around, don’t you?”

And that? That was the last straw.

Your chair scraped against the floor as you stood, planting your hands on your hips. “We are sticking to the plan, Barnes. No improvising. No wandering off. No turning this into some solo hero death mission.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, inhaling through gritted teeth as you fought for patience you absolutely did not have. “Why is your solution to everything brute force? Sam has a plan. A good plan. A plan that does not involve you punching your way through every obstacle.”

Bucky folded his arms across his broad chest, looking completely unfazed. If anything, he seemed amused. “First of all, rude. Second of all, my way works.”

“You mean it works when it doesn’t get us killed?” you shot back, voice rising. “Which, by the way, is not a guarantee.”

His mouth twitched like he was trying not to grin. “C’mon, doll, you’re overreacting.”

And there it was. That goddamn nickname.

You felt it like a spark in your bloodstream, a rush of heat you refused to acknowledge. Instead, you rolled your eyes so hard they nearly got stuck. “Don’t ‘doll’ me, Barnes. I’m serious. We are sticking to the plan.”

“I am sticking to the plan,” he said, far too casually. “I’m just… modifying it.”

Your jaw dropped. “Modifying it?”

“Enhancing.”

“You mean ignoring it?”

He shrugged and you had never wanted to strangle and kiss someone in equal measure more in your life.

God, this man was going to be the death of you.

You took a slow, deep breath, curling your fingers into fists at your sides. “Bucky. No modifications. No enhancements. No Barnes-ifying the plan.”

He tilted his head, looking irritatingly pleased with himself. “Barnes-ifying? Huh. I kinda like that.”

You threw your hands in the air. “Of course you do.”

Sam, who had been observing this entire exchange with the long-suffering patience of a saint, let out a loud sigh. “Are you two done? Or should we clear the room so you can work out all that tension?”

Your head snapped toward him. “There is no tension.”

Bucky, the absolute menace that he was, had the audacity to murmur, “Oh, there’s tension.”

Your entire body went rigid. Your face felt hot. You whirled back to him, pointing an accusing finger at his chest. “I will kill you.”

His lips twitched. “I’d love to see you try, doll.”

You weren’t sure what infuriated you more—the way he said it— doll —like it was his own private joke, or the fact that you liked it. Loved it, even. That it sent a pulse of something traitorous through you, something that made you want to either punch him or grab him by the collar and—

No. Focus.

You squared your shoulders, planting your hands on your hips. “Here’s what’s going to happen, Barnes. You’re going to follow the plan. No making things up as you go along. Got it?”

His blue eyes glinted with something unreadable. “And what if I don’t?”

You narrowed your eyes. “Then I’ll personally make sure you regret it.”

Bucky grinned, slow and wicked. “Kinda looking forward to that.”

Your breath hitched. Your brain short-circuited. You opened your mouth, then shut it again, because there was absolutely nothing appropriate to say to that.

Oh. Oh, that son of a—

Bucky chuckled, clearly enjoying the way he’d just rendered you speechless. Then he leaned in just slightly, voice dropping to something low and smug.

“Face it, doll,” he murmured. “You’d miss me if I was gone.”

You scoffed, even as your stomach flipped. “I’d miss arguing with you. That’s it.”

“Mm-hmm.”

The knowing look on his face made you want to smack it off. But more than that, it made you want to—

Nope. Not going there.

You exhaled sharply, turning on your heel. “I’m done. Sam, let’s go before I change my mind and let him get himself killed.”

Sam snorted, giving Bucky a pointed look. “See what you did? Now you’ve pissed her off.”

Bucky only smirked, watching you walk away. “Nah,” he said, mostly to himself. “She likes it.”

—

You didn’t like it.

Not one bit.

And do you know why? Because you knew—knew—he wasn’t lying.

Bucky Barnes didn’t say things he didn’t mean. He wasn’t the type to play games with words, wasn’t the type to tease just for the hell of it. If he said there was tension, if he said you’d miss him, then he meant it. He knew.

He knew before you did.

And that was the worst part.

You had no idea when your constant bickering turned into something else, something deeper, something dangerous. One day, you thought you hated him—the next, you realized you couldn’t imagine a world without him in it.

It had terrified you.

So you fought.

You fought harder, argued louder, refused to let him see just how deeply he had burrowed into you. You clashed over the stupidest things—his reckless plans, his stubbornness, the way he called you doll like it was a secret between you. Because if you didn’t fight, if you let the walls slip for even a second, you weren’t sure what would happen.

And it infuriated you.

How dare he?

How dare he make himself at home in a corner of your heart you didn’t even know existed? How dare he take up permanent residence there, until that tiny space expanded into the whole damn thing?

How dare he make you want him when you were supposed to be angry at him?

How. Dare. He.

The memory took over before you could stop it…

It had been a disaster from the start.

The mission was supposed to be a simple recon—go in, get intel, get out. No unnecessary engagement. No close calls. No getting shot.

But Bucky Barnes? He didn’t believe in simple.

You were fuming as you dragged him into the safe house, your grip tight on his arm, ignoring the way his blood seeped through your gloves. He was bleeding all over the place, but of course, he still had the audacity to smirk at you.

“You’re manhandling me, doll.” His voice was rough, teasing. “If you wanted to get handsy, you could’ve just asked.”

You pushed him down onto the rickety cot in the corner, none too gently. “I swear to God, Barnes, if you don’t shut up, I will make your injuries worse.”

Bucky groaned dramatically as he flopped back, far too casual for someone who had just taken a bullet to the shoulder. “You’re so mean to me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry—should I be nice to the guy who just got himself shot?” You tore open the med kit, grabbing a pair of scissors and snipping at the sleeve of his tactical suit.

Bucky’s smirk vanished. “Hey, whoa—this is a perfectly good jacket.”

“You’ve bled through half of it, Bucky!” You glared at him, slicing the fabric open with zero hesitation.

Bucky scowled. “Still wearable.”

“Still ruined.”

“You’re ruining it more.”

“Oh my God—do you wanna keep arguing, or do you want me to keep you from bleeding out you reckless, metal-armed asshole?”

Bucky huffed a laugh, because of course he did, the sound painfully casual. “Little dramatic, don’t you think?”

Your hands shook as you tore open the med kit, fingers fumbling over the supplies. “Shut up.”

“Oh, come on, doll, it’s just a—”

“Don’t you dare say ‘scratch.’”

Bucky sighed, dropping his head back onto the cot. “I’m not bleeding out.”

“You got shot, you dick,” you snapped, peeling the fabric away to get a better look at the wound. Through and through, just above his bicep. A clean hit, but it would scar if you didn’t take care of it properly.

Bucky peered at the wound like it was barely an inconvenience. “It is just a scratch.”

Your eye twitched. You gritted your teeth, pressing an antiseptic wipe to the wound with zero mercy.

Bucky hissed, body tensing as he glared at you. “Jesus—are you trying to kill me?”

“Oh, now you feel pain?” You didn’t let up, pressing a little harder just for good measure. “You didn’t seem too concerned when you ran into a hail of gunfire like a rabid golden retriever with a death wish.”

Bucky scoffed. “Golden retriever?”

“You just charged in, Bucky! What part of ‘stealth mission’ do you not understand?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I had to.”

“No, you didn’t!” You grabbed a fresh gauze pad, pressing it against the wound. “Sam and I were handling it just fine before you decided to be stupidly heroic.”

“Doll, you were cornered,” Bucky argued.

“No, I was waiting for backup.”

Bucky gave you a pointed look. “You were outnumbered and had a jammed weapon.”

You locked your jaw. Because okay, maybe that was true.

But he didn’t have to jump in front of a bullet for you.

You cleared your throat, trying to sound unimpressed. “I was fine.”

“You were two seconds away from getting shot.”

“I know, Bucky!” You slammed the antiseptic wipe against his skin, not caring when he hissed. “But you didn’t have to—you didn’t—you— I told you not to do it!” you cried out. “But no, you just had to go full Terminator and jump in front of a goddamn bullet for me—”

You stopped.

Because suddenly, your throat was too tight, and your breath was coming too fast, and you hated that the panic was winning, that it was spilling over.

You weren’t just mad.

You were terrified.

Bucky blinked at you, actually looking concerned now, which only pissed you off more.

“Doll—”

“You think you’re indestructible, don’t you?” You threw the used gauze aside, grabbing another one, your hands shaking as you pressed it to the wound. “Just because you have the serum, you think you can—can take all these stupid risks—”

Bucky sighed, clearly exasperated. “I heal faster than you do, sweetheart. It’s not that deep.”

Something inside you snapped.

“Oh, fuck you, Bucky!”

His eyebrows shot up at that.

“You think the serum makes you invincible?” you seethed, eyes burning. “Is that why you keep throwing yourself into danger? Why you never hesitate before taking a hit? Why you jump in front of bullets like it’s your damn job?”

Bucky opened his mouth, but you weren’t done.

“Guess what, Barnes? The serum doesn’t make you immortal! One day, your dumbass luck is going to run out! And what then?”

Bucky stilled, blue eyes searching yours.

But you were unraveling too fast to stop now.

“I swear to God, Bucky, I’m gonna lose my mind if you keep—” You sucked in a shaky breath, voice cracking. “I can’t—I can’t keep watching you do this to yourself.”

Something changed in Bucky’s face. The teasing, the smirking—it all vanished.

You didn’t want to see whatever was in his eyes.

You dropped your gaze, fingers moving on autopilot, taping the bandage down over his shoulder. Your hands wouldn’t stop shaking, but you pretended not to notice.

You felt him watching you.

For the first time since the mission, Bucky was quiet.

The weight of it pressed against your chest.

You swallowed hard, clearing your throat. “Just—just try not to die next time, okay?”

Bucky let out a slow breath, something almost amused slipping into his voice. “Not really my style, doll.”

You snapped your head up, narrowing your eyes at him. “Yeah, I noticed. You’ve got a real stubborn track record of coming back from the brink of death.”

Bucky grinned, slow and lazy, like he couldn’t help himself. “What can I say? I’m persistent.”

Your jaw tensed.

“Yeah? Well, I don’t want to be the one watching you zero out your nine lives.”

The smirk disappeared.

A flicker of something serious passed through his eyes—so fast you almost missed it.

For a second, you thought he was going to say something that would change everything.

But then, as quickly as it came, he shoved it away.

He exhaled a soft chuckle instead, shaking his head. “You worry too much.”

You clenched your jaw, standing abruptly. “And you don’t worry enough.”

Bucky watched you, his expression unreadable.

You grabbed the med kit and turned away, before he could see just how badly your hands were still shaking.

Because the truth was—

You weren’t sure what scared you more.

The fact that Bucky Barnes kept coming back from the brink of death—

Or the fact that, one day, he might not.

–

You exhaled sharply, shoving the memory aside.

No. Not thinking about that.

You couldn’t.

Because if you let yourself sit with it for too long—

If you let yourself acknowledge how much he meant to you—

You weren’t sure how you were supposed to breathe through it.

Bucky must have sensed the shift in you, because as you stalked ahead, fuming, he was suddenly there—keeping pace beside you, his presence entirely too much. Too close, too solid, too him.

“You’re quiet,” he murmured. “That’s never a good sign.”

“Maybe I just ran out of things to say,” you snapped, not looking at him.

He made a low sound, somewhere between a scoff and a chuckle. “That’ll be the day.”

You whirled on him before you could stop yourself, jabbing a finger into his chest. “Do you enjoy driving me insane, Barnes? Is it, like, a hobby for you?”

His lips twitched, that damn smirk already forming. “I mean… yeah. Kinda.”

You let out a frustrated noise, turning on your heel, ready to put as much distance between you and that insufferable smirk as possible. But before you could take two steps, his fingers curled around your wrist—gentle, but firm enough to stop you in your tracks.

The warmth of his skin against yours sent a jolt through you. His grip wasn’t rough, wasn’t forceful, but it was steady, intentional. And for a split second, you couldn’t breathe.

When you looked up, his blue eyes were locked onto yours, unreadable, intense.

“I’m not trying to drive you insane,” he said, his voice softer now, but laced with something heavier, something that made your chest feel tight. “I’m just trying to figure out why you won’t admit it.”

You swallowed, pulse hammering. “Admit what?”

Bucky tilted his head slightly, studying you like he was searching for something, peeling back layers you weren’t ready to let him see. His gaze dragged over your face, lingering—too long—on your lips before flicking back up.

Your breath hitched.

He was going to say something else. You knew it. Could feel it. But whatever he saw in your expression made him change his mind at the last second. His features shifted, the quiet determination giving way to something smug, teasing. A deflection.

“That it’s a good plan.”

Your pulse stuttered.

This wasn’t what he wanted to say. Not even close.

But he was giving you an out. Letting you pretend, letting himself pretend, like this was still just another argument. Another round of your never-ending bickering instead of… whatever the hell this was becoming.

And that? That scared you more than anything.

“It’s not,” you shot back, seizing the escape he’d handed you. You took a step back, yanking your wrist free of his grasp. “It’s stupid. It’s reckless, and it’s going to get one or all of us hurt if we do it.”

Bucky’s jaw tensed, his smirk faltering for the first time. His eyes darkened, something unreadable flickering in them before he asked, voice quieter, but rougher—”Why do you never take my side?”

The question hit like a sucker punch.

It knocked the breath from your lungs, left you reeling in a way you hadn’t expected.

“I—” The words caught in your throat.

He wasn’t teasing now. Wasn’t throwing out some cocky remark just to get under your skin. This was something real, something raw, and it left you woozy.

A slow smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Second time I’ve got you speechless today, huh? Must be a new record.”

His voice was light, teasing again, but the look in his eyes said something else entirely.

Then, before you could recover, before you could shove something sharp and defensive between you, he turned and walked ahead—leaving you standing there, heart racing, breath unsteady.

Completely, utterly furious at him.

And even more furious at yourself.

Your hands curled into fists at your sides, nails digging into your palms as you forced yourself to breathe. In. Out. Don’t let him get to you.

Except he had. He always did. And the worst part? He knew it.

You glared at the back of his head as he walked ahead like nothing had happened, like he hadn’t just thrown you completely off balance and left you scrambling for solid ground.

Why do you never take my side?

You hated that the question still echoed in your head. That it stung in a way you weren’t ready to unpack.

You stormed after him, your boots crunching against the pavement. “Barnes, we’re not done talking about this.”

He didn’t stop, didn’t even turn around. “Seemed pretty done to me.”

Your jaw clenched. “God, you are infuriating.”

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned that once or twice.” He threw a glance over his shoulder, his smirk still in place, but his eyes? His eyes were still sharp, still waiting.

You caught up to him in two quick strides, grabbing his arm to yank him to a stop. “Don’t walk away from me.”

Bucky arched a brow, glancing down at where your fingers gripped the sleeve of his jacket. “Thought you couldn’t stand being near me, doll.”

You ignored the way your stomach flipped at the nickname. Ignored the way your traitorous hand lingered for a second before you let go.

“That plan of yours?” You crossed your arms, tilting your chin up. “It’s reckless. And you know it.”

His smirk faded, just slightly. “And what if reckless is the only option?”

“That’s bullshit, and you know that too.”

Bucky let out a slow exhale, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I get it. You think I’m some idiot who just punches his way through problems—”

“I know you are,” you shot back.

He glared at you, jaw ticking. “But maybe—just maybe—I actually know what I’m doing this time.”

You opened your mouth, ready to argue, but something in his expression stopped you.

There was no smugness, no teasing. Just raw frustration, something worn down underneath.

You stared at him, chest rising and falling too fast, the words dying on your tongue.

“Right,” Bucky muttered, shaking his head. “Should’ve known better than to expect you to trust me.”

The words weren’t loud. He wasn’t even looking at you when he said them. But they landed like a slap.

Your breath caught. “That’s not—”

“Forget it.”

—

Shockingly, Bucky had followed Sam’s plan.

And—even more shockingly—it had gone wrong.

In the end, brute force had been the only way to get all three of you out alive.

You weren’t sure when the dust had settled, when the ringing in your ears had finally faded enough for you to hear your own breathing again. But when your vision cleared, Bucky was still standing.

Standing over a pile of bodies, bloodied and exhausted, his chest heaving with exertion.

There was a split in his lip, a gash across his forehead, and a bullet graze along his ribs, the fabric of his tactical suit dark with blood.

And you hated it.

You hated how your stomach twisted at the sight of him hurt. Hated the way your fingers curled into fists at your sides to stop yourself from running to him, from touching him, from grabbing his face and checking.

Most of all, you hated that you had doubted him.

Bucky Barnes had a century of combat experience. He had spent his entire life surviving fights he shouldn’t have walked away from, and still, you had dismissed him. Still, you had refused to listen.

And now? Now all of you were bleeding. All of you were shaken.

But the worst part—the part that made your throat tighten and your breath shudder—was that Bucky wasn’t even gloating.

No smirk. No I told you so.

Just silence. Just his sharp, assessing gaze, scanning the aftermath like he was still bracing for another fight.

By the time Torres had you all back on the plane, you were shaking.

The adrenaline should have worn off by now, but the weight in your chest only grew heavier. You knew—you knew—Bucky would heal faster than you or Sam. Logically, you understood that.

But logic wasn’t stopping the tightness in your throat when your eyes landed on the bruising around his temple.

It wasn’t stopping the way your fingers trembled as you grabbed the first aid kit and sat down in front of him, against every warning screaming in your head.

Bucky exhaled slowly, tilting his head back against the seat. “I’m fine.”

“You’re bleeding,” you shot back, voice sharper than intended.

“So are you.”

You ignored that. “Just—hold still.”

For once, he didn’t argue. But when you reached for him, when your fingers ghosted over his skin, his gaze flickered—just for a second—to your hands.

He noticed.

Noticed the tremor in your fingers, the way they weren’t steady.

His brows drew together, just slightly. He didn’t say anything, but you felt his stare, felt the question lingering on the tip of his tongue.

Your breath hitched. You curled your fingers tighter around the antiseptic wipe, focusing too hard on dabbing at the cut on his forehead.

When he flinched, you huffed. “Big bad super soldier can take on twenty guys at once but can’t handle a little stinging?”

His lips twitched, but the teasing was half-hearted. “Not my fault you’re rough.”

You shot him a look. “I wonder why.”

His jaw flexed. “You do like making things difficult.”

“Oh, I make things difficult?” You shook your head, pressing a little too firmly as you cleaned the wound. “I don’t remember me running in headfirst with zero regard for a plan.”

Bucky scoffed. “Right, because your plan went so well.”

You froze, fingers stilling against his skin.

His voice hadn’t been sharp, but the words still landed heavy in your chest.

“You didn’t have to follow it,” you murmured.

Bucky let out a slow breath. “Yeah. Well. I did.”

Silence stretched between you, thick and weighted.

You forced yourself to move again, forced yourself to focus on the cut rather than the way his eyes lingered.

Your throat was dry when you spoke. “You were right.”

His expression didn’t change, but you felt the shift in the air.

“We should have done it your way,” you admitted, barely above a whisper.

Bucky’s fingers curled over the edge of the seat. He didn’t speak, didn’t move, but you knew he was watching you.

Finally, he exhaled, his voice quiet. “Didn’t do us much good, did it?”

You pressed your lips together. “Would’ve gone a lot worse if you hadn’t stepped in.”

His eyes flickered. His jaw worked, like he wanted to argue but didn’t have the energy for it.

“You don’t have to say that,” he murmured.

“I do.” Your voice wavered, but you swallowed hard, pushing through it. “Because I was wrong.”

Bucky was still. Unreadable.

Then, after a beat, his voice dropped lower. “That an apology?”

You rolled your eyes, but there was no real fire behind it. “Don’t push your luck, Barnes.”

A slow smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Wouldn’t dream of it, doll.”

But his eyes? His eyes told a different story.

—

The hum of the jet was steady beneath you, the vibrations deep in your bones, but it did nothing to ground you. The cabin lights were low, throwing long shadows across the metal walls. Sam was already passed out in the back, his breathing even, the tension from the mission finally easing from his shoulders.

You should be doing the same. You should be closing your eyes, letting exhaustion take over, shutting out the memory of the chaos you’d just escaped from.

But you couldn’t.

Because Bucky was still watching you.

He sat across from you, silent and unreadable, his blue eyes darker in the dim light. He hadn’t spoken since you finished patching him up, but he hadn’t stopped looking, either.

It wasn’t his usual sharp-edged irritation or teasing smirk. No playful bickering, no cocky remarks about how he’d been right. Just this.

Something softer. Something heavier.

Something you weren’t ready for.

“You should get some rest,” he murmured, voice low and rough around the edges.

You shook your head, fingers curling into your palms. “I’m fine.”

Bucky exhaled through his nose, like he didn’t believe you. “Yeah? You don’t look fine.”

You hated that he could see it. The tremor in your fingers, the tension in your shoulders, the way you were still breathing too fast, like your body hadn’t realized the fight was over.

You hated that he noticed. That he cared enough to notice.

And then—because you were tired, because you were furious, because he had almost died and you were still trying to claw your way back from the sheer panic of it—you snapped.

“You could have died, Bucky.” Your voice was sharper than you meant, thick with something you didn’t want to name.

His brow twitched, but his expression didn’t change. His voice stayed infuriatingly even. “Yeah. That’s kinda what happens when people shoot at you.”

“That’s not funny.”

“I wasn’t trying to be.” His lips pressed into a thin line, his jaw tight. “You think I don’t know what I’m doing out there?”

“That’s not—” You exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down your face. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what do you mean?”

The question hung between you, thick with unspoken things.

Bucky didn’t move, didn’t blink, just watched you—his gaze steady, patient, like he was giving you the space to say it.

And God, you wanted to.

But the words sat like stones in your throat, impossible to force out. You clenched your jaw, tried to shove them back down, but they wouldn’t go away.

Because the truth was, you weren’t just shaken by the mission.

You were shaken by the way seeing him bleeding had made your stomach drop, by the way his pained groans had made your hands shake, by the way you had wanted—needed—to run to him, to wrap yourself around him and never let go.

You were terrified.

Because this wasn’t just anger or frustration or a heated argument in the middle of a mission.

This was Bucky.

And you couldn’t lose him.

So instead of answering, instead of trying to put words to the panic still rattling inside you, you did the only thing you could do.

You reached for him.

It wasn’t sharp or defiant, wasn’t out of frustration or anger.

You just—needed to touch him.

Your fingers brushed over his wrist, barely there, hesitant. A point of contact. Something to anchor you.

Bucky stilled.

For a second, he just stared at your hand, at the way your fingers curled against his skin like you weren’t even sure if you had permission to hold on.

Then, slowly, he turned his wrist under your palm, letting your fingers slide over his pulse point. His skin was warm, his pulse steady. Alive. Here.

Your throat went tight.

Bucky’s voice was quieter this time. Rougher. “You gonna tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”

You swallowed hard, but you didn’t let go.

Your thumb ghosted over his pulse, barely a whisper of touch, but it still wasn’t enough.

You didn’t know what you needed, what you were searching for beneath your fingertips, but the slow, steady thrum of his heartbeat wasn’t easing the raw ache in your chest.

Your eyes flickered around the cabin.

Sam was still dead to the world, Torres nowhere in sight. The only two people awake on this jet were you and Bucky.

Something inside you snapped.

One second, you were gripping his wrist, tethering yourself to him like that alone would make this feeling go away. The next, you were moving before you could stop yourself—sliding out of your seat, crawling into his lap, wrapping yourself around him like holding on tighter would somehow keep him safe, keep him yours.

Bucky made a sound—something low, something confused—but his hands came up anyway, large and warm and steady as they settled on your hips, instinctive.

His breath hitched, and you felt it against your temple, the subtle shudder of his inhale.

You buried yourself closer, curling into his chest, fingers winding into the hair at the nape of his neck. His scent was everywhere—gunpowder and metal and something distinctly him—and you could have drowned in it.

“If you ever tell anyone I did this,” you muttered, voice muffled against his neck, “I will find ways to kill you.”

There was no bite to it. No real threat.

Just you—raw and exposed in a way you didn’t know how to take back.

Bucky let out a breath that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle, but he didn’t pull away.

Didn’t tease.

Didn’t shove you off like he should have.

Instead, his arms shifted, wrapping around you fully, pressing you into him like this was what he had been waiting for, like this was something he had been needing just as badly.

Like he wanted to.

His metal fingers flexed at your waist, pressing against the fabric of your suit, a steadying grip. His other hand flattened against your back, tracing over the curve of your spine as if he was committing the shape of you to memory.

His touch burned.

His warmth was everywhere.

You squeezed your eyes shut, your fingers sliding from his hair to his cheek, brushing over the stubble there, the still-healing cut on his temple. And then—before you could stop yourself—you were tilting his face toward yours.

For the first time since the mission, since the gunfire, since you watched the blood dripping down his temple and felt your entire world tilt on its axis—you met his eyes head-on.

Bucky swallowed.

His gaze dropped—just for a second—to your lips.

It was enough.

Your resolve snapped like a frayed wire.

And before you could second-guess yourself, before you could remind yourself that this was Bucky, before you could convince yourself that you didn’t love him like this—

You kissed him.

It was desperate, messy—nothing like the slow, sweet build-up you had imagined in the deepest corners of your mind.

Your lips crashed against his, your hands fisting in his suit, pulling yourself closer, closer, closer, needing more, needing everything.

Bucky froze.

Didn’t move when your lips parted against his, when your tongue flicked against his bottom lip, when your teeth caught the cut there, tasting blood.

Didn’t react when you kissed him again, soft and searching, when your nose brushed against his, when you sighed against his mouth, the sound fragile and aching.

Didn’t kiss you back.

The realization hit slow, creeping in at the edges of your desperation, sinking its claws into your chest.

He wasn’t—

Oh, God.

The sting of rejection burned hotter than the wounds littering your body.

You tried to breathe, tried to steady yourself, but your lungs felt too tight, your hands shaking as you forced yourself to pull back, to put distance between you before you shattered entirely.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, a shaky breath washing over his lips. Your throat was tight, your vision blurring at the edges. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

Your voice broke.

Bucky was still silent.

And that was somehow worse.

It took a second to register the weight of what you’d done, to catch up to you.

You had kissed him.

You had kissed him and he hadn’t—

Your stomach plummeted.

“I’m—” Your breath hitched, panic clawing at your ribs. “I’m so sorry, Bucky.”

You tried to untangle yourself, tried to scramble out of his lap, to preserve whatever dignity you had left, to put distance between you before you completely fell apart in front of him—

But then—

God.

Then his hands tightened on your hips.

Hard.

Before you could even get further, Bucky dragged you back against him, fingers digging into your skin, like he wasn’t about to let you go. He maneuvered you until your legs were astride his hips, your arms around his neck, your chest pressed to his.

Your breath stilled, eyes wide, heart hammering against your ribs.

His expression had changed.

The shock, the hesitation—it was gone.

In its place was something darker.

Something heated and unrelenting.

Something like want.

Bucky’s breathing was uneven, his lips parted, his pupils blown wide as his gaze flickered between your eyes, your mouth, back up.

Then—

Then his fingers traced up your spine, slow and deliberate, leaving goosebumps in their wake. His metal hand trailed over your ribs, up your arm, curling at the back of your neck, tipping your face toward his.

And then, finally, he spoke.

“Doll,” he rasped, voice wrecked and low. “Can you do that again?”

Your stomach flipped.

“I—” You swallowed, your pulse hammering against his fingertips. “You didn’t—”

“I froze,” he cut in, jaw tight. “I won’t now.”

Oh.

Your lips parted, heart stumbling over itself.

Bucky let out a breath, something between a laugh and a groan, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe you. His grip on your hips flexed, strong and sure, and for a split second, all he did was look at you.

Like you were something he didn’t know how to handle.

Like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to devour you or worship you.

Then—slower this time, more sure—he leaned in.

And kissed you.

You had been right.

Bucky Barnes would be your undoing.

He’d kill you with the way he kissed, slow and deliberate, like he wanted to ruin you, like he wanted to take you apart with nothing but the sweep of his tongue and the heat of his mouth.

You felt it—every glide of his tongue against yours, every careful press of his lips, every sharp inhale between kisses—like a spark lighting up your spine, sinking deep, settling between your legs with a heat so intense you could barely breathe through it.

You shook on top of him, the way he touched you sending shockwaves through every nerve ending in your body. His hands were everywhere—tight, possessive squeezes against your hips, reverent drags of his fingers down your back and thighs, gripping you like he never wanted to let go.

A whimper escaped you, completely unbidden, and Bucky groaned, a deep, wrecked sound that vibrated against your mouth.

Then, suddenly, his lips left yours.

You gasped at the loss—until you felt him move.

Felt the warm brush of his breath against your throat, felt his nose skim along the sensitive skin there before his mouth followed.

“Bucky—” His name left you in a sharp breath as he kissed down your neck, slow, teasing, his lips dragging over every inch of exposed skin he could reach.

The problem was—there wasn’t enough.

Your suit covered too much, kept him from truly touching you, and it was driving you out of your mind.

You arched into him, restless, desperate. “Take it off,” you whispered, the words spilling out before you could stop them.

Bucky stilled, his lips pausing against your collarbone.

His hands tightened on your hips, but he didn’t move. Didn’t continue.

“Take it off,” you begged, fingers digging into the fabric of his suit, tracing over the zippers, tugging uselessly at the buttons, trying to feel more. “Please, take it off.”

His breath was uneven, ragged. “Doll, there are people—”

“I don’t care.” You tugged at his collar, leaning in, pressing another desperate kiss to the corner of his mouth. “They won’t see.”

Bucky’s hands flexed against your waist, like he was warring with himself.

You kissed him again, lips parting over his, trying to convince him, trying to make him understand, to feel just how badly you needed this, needed him.

He let out a shaky breath, his forehead pressing to yours, his chest rising and falling unevenly beneath you.

“Please,” you whispered, voice breaking. “Please, before you change your mind—I need this. I need you.”

That did it.

Something snapped in him.

The hesitation vanished.

And then, suddenly, you were weightless.

Before you could even process what was happening, Bucky was standing, lifting you effortlessly, your legs tightening around his waist as he carried you toward the back of the jet, moving with a singular, determined focus that made your breath catch.

Your back hit the cool metal wall of the jet, the impact sending a shiver down your spine, but you barely had time to react before Bucky was kissing you again—hot, rough, devouring.

You gasped against his lips, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck, holding on for dear life.

His hands roamed down your back, over your thighs, squeezing, gripping—and then, finally, finally, he found the zipper of your suit.

“I’m not changing my mind,” he murmured, his voice thick, edged with something raw that made you shiver. His fingers curled around the fabric, tugging just enough for you to feel the weight of his words. “And you’re not changing yours.”

You nodded without thinking, without hesitation, without fear.

There was a faint awareness of the reality around you—the steady hum of the jet beneath you, the wall of gear shielding you from the others, the knowledge that Sam and Torres were mere feet away. The fact that you were both bloodied and bruised from the mission, that maybe this wasn’t the time, wasn’t the place.

But then Bucky moved, and all of that faded.

The zipper came down in a slow, deliberate slide, the rasp of it against your skin sending a shiver down your spine. His hands worked quickly, efficiently, but gentle, pushing the suit down your arms until you could shake it off completely. The moment it was gone, he pulled your arms around his shoulders, guiding them to hold onto him, like he needed you to keep him close.

“Hold on to me,” he murmured, voice quieter now, almost reverent, before dropping to his knees.

Your breath caught, your pulse hammering as his hands gripped your hips, firm and unshakable, guiding the rest of your suit down your legs. His head dipped, his lips grazing the fresh bruise blooming along your hip. He kissed it once, then again—soft, lingering. Worshipping.

You swallowed hard, your fingers threading into his hair as he nuzzled along your thigh, your knee, before rising back to his full height.

“Not getting these off,” he muttered, his fingers ghosting over your soaked panties. You’d be ashamed if it weren’t for the way his lips parted, like he was desperate to get back on his knees, get his mouth on you, There was also something else. The look on his face - regret, you thought - like he wanted to take his time with you, but was disappointed he couldn’t.

His hands moved up your body, skimming over your waist, tracing along your ribs. You shivered at the sensation of warm and cold, flesh and metal. His eyes darkened at the sight of you trembling under his touch.

“We have to be quick.”

You nodded, obedient, but there was something clawing at your chest, something making your breath catch, making your hands shake as you reached for his belt, undoing it with frantic fingers.

“This—” You took a breath, sliding the zipper down, pushing his pants and underwear down in one swift motion. His cock sprang free, thick and hard, the tip already slick with pre-cum. You ached at the sight of him. Ached to drop to your knees and taste him.

Instead, you swallowed hard and met his eyes. “This isn’t how I imagined doing this with you.”

Bucky let out a low, disbelieving chuckle, shaking his head. “Me either.” His voice was rough, wrecked, breaking apart at the seams. His lips brushed your ear as he groaned, deep and ragged, when you wrapped your fingers around him, stroking him slow, teasing. “Fuck, sweetheart—”

A shudder rolled through him, his forehead pressing to yours, eyes fluttering shut.

“But I’ll make it up to you,” he promised, voice thick with something dangerous, something devoted. “I promise.”

His arms wrapped around you again, lifting you effortlessly, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, your hips rolling forward to grind against him.

“Bucky—”

“You want this?” he asked, pressing you back against the cool metal wall, the contrast making you gasp. His mouth was everywhere—dragging down your jaw, across the swell of your breast, open-mouthed and hungry.

“I do. I—”

The words faltered on your tongue.

Your heart was hammering, your chest was aching. This was reckless. This was insane.

This was everything.

You squeezed your eyes shut, pressed your forehead to his, your lips brushing his with every ragged breath. “I want you,” you whispered, voice breaking. “All of you.” Your fingers twisted into his hair, tugging just enough for him to feel it. “Please.”

Bucky exhaled sharply, his grip tightening. “You have me.”

His words were iron, unbreakable, true.

Something cracked inside you.

And then—there was no more hesitation.

His lips crashed into yours again, raw and consuming, leaving no space between you, no air, no room for anything but him. His free hand slid down, tugging at your panties, dragging them to the side. Your own hand moved between you, wrapping around his cock, guiding him to where you needed him.

“Jesus, doll—”

It wasn’t gentle.

It wasn’t careful.

It was one full thrust, his cock pressing inside you inch by inch, filling you completely, stretching you to the edge of pain. Your nails bit into his shoulders, your head falling back against the wall as a gasp tore from your throat.

You felt full. Too full.

Your legs shook around him, your walls clenching tight around his cock, the overwhelming stretch making your eyes slam shut, your mouth parting on a silent moan.

Bucky groaned, deep and wrecked, his forehead pressing to your temple. His body was shaking too, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps against your skin.

“Fuck,” he ground out, metal hand locking around your thigh, keeping you open for him. His other hand tangled in your hair, his grip tight, desperate. “Fuck, you feel—Jesus, sweetheart.”

Your breath hitched, your arms trembling as you clung to him. “I can’t believe you’re inside me,” you whispered, voice barely there, overwhelmed and ruined. “Oh my god, Bucky—”

He snapped his hips forward, and your world split apart.

The pleasure was sharp, blinding, a lightning strike surging through your veins. Your body clenched around him, gripping him so tight he groaned against your neck, his rhythm faltering for a beat. His hands tightened on your hips, metal and flesh both possessive, both desperate to hold on.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he choked out, voice strangled, roughened with something close to reverence. He thrust deep, his cock dragging against every nerve inside you, every sensitive place that made your stomach coil so tight you thought you might shatter.

“For you,” you confessed, arching into him, letting him feel it, letting him know. “All the time. Every time you look at me—”

Bucky snapped his hips forward, harder, deeper, tearing a cry from your lips.

“Shit,” he breathed, voice breaking, cracking at the edges. “Shit, shit—”

“You’re so deep,” you gasped, barely able to breathe. Your nails raked down his back, desperate, pleading, needing. “Bucky, I—I can’t—”

“I’ve got you, doll,” he groaned, pressing his mouth to yours, swallowing every sound you made as he ruined you completely.

Every thrust was a curse, every breath a kiss, and you were careening toward the edge so fast it was dizzying.

The pleasure ripped through you before you could warn him, before you could even process it. Your walls tightened, pulsing around his cock, body shaking so violently that he had to pin you to the wall with his hips, burying himself to the hilt, his hand cradling the back of your head, shielding you as you contorted in his grasp.

His mouth devoured your cries, catching every broken, pleading gasp as the orgasm tore you apart. It was an explosion that didn’t stop, that kept rolling through you, wave after wave.

You rocked against him, desperate for more, still chasing, still needing, barely hearing the way he rasped your name, telling you to slow down, telling you to look at him, warning you that he was—

“God, you’re heaven,” Bucky breathed against your ear, grinding deep inside of you, his voice wrecked, every syllable tinged with something broken, something beautiful. As you slowly came down, you could feel how close he was, how tightly he was holding on, trying to keep himself from falling over the edge. “I can feel you—fuck me, I should pull out.”

“No.”

It came out fast, urgent, a whisper laced with something dangerous. Your legs locked around his hips, keeping him trapped in your hold.

His entire body went rigid. His breathing stilled.

“Baby.”

Bucky’s voice was low, frayed at the edges, filled with disbelief. The word hung in the air between you, unspoken until now.

You froze.

Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you knew you shouldn’t have given that away. Shouldn’t have let it slip, shouldn’t have handed him something so fragile, something you couldn’t take back.

But what was a drop to someone who was already drowning?

Bucky’s hands tightened on your hips, but he didn’t move. If he wanted to, he could have pulled you off of him without lifting a finger. You had always been painfully aware of how much stronger he was, how easily he could overpower you.

And yet, he stayed still, locked in your hold. Completely at your mercy.

You swallowed, your fingers shaking as they curled into his hair, pulling him closer, refusing to let him run.

“C’mon, doll,” he whispered, his lips brushing yours, stealing a kiss that felt like it was more for him than for you. “Let go.”

His hips rolled, his pelvis grinding against your clit, making you whimper. Your body was still trembling, still oversensitive, but fuck, if he kept going just a little longer—

“I want you to cum inside me,” you pleaded, your voice trembling, your nails digging into his skin.

Bucky froze.

The words echoed between you like a shot fired into the silence.

His hips stilled. His breath hitched. His hands trembled where they held you.

You had to bite your bottom lip to keep from crying out, from begging him to move.

“Doll,” he rasped, warning in his tone, his forehead pressed to yours. He looked wrecked, as undone as you felt.

“Stop arguing with me,” you shot back, voice shaky, grinding against him, dragging your soaked, sensitive heat over him, pulling a moan from his throat so deep it made every hair on your body stand on end.

“Fuck,” he groaned, head dropping to your shoulder, his grip on you bruising.

“I want this.” You tightened your arms around his neck, pressing yourself closer, wrapping him in you, cocooning you both in the moment. “I’m begging you, Bucky. Please.”

“It’s—” He swallowed thickly, voice strangled.

“Irresponsible, yes, but what’s a little irresponsibility?” A breathless laugh escaped you, but your voice broke at the end, too raw to keep up the teasing. You squeezed your eyes shut, inhaling deeply before forcing yourself to meet his gaze. “I’m on the pill.”

His jaw clenched.

“I need this,” you whispered, the truth clawing up your throat before you could stop it. “I need you.” Your voice cracked, your breath hitched, emotion swelling too fast, too much. “You don’t get it, I—”

You didn’t even realize you were crying until he softened.

Something in his eyes clicked, something changed, and suddenly, his arms were wrapping around you tighter, his hands cradling your face like you were precious, like you were fragile, like he had to hold you together before you broke apart completely.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, kissing your temple, your cheek, your jaw. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”

And then he moved.

His thrusts were slower, deeper, his lips brushing yours between each movement. His hands wandered, soothing, worshipping.

“Giving you exactly what you want, yeah?”

You nodded frantically, breath labored, losing yourself in the way he felt, the way he surrounded you, consumed you.

“Don’t pull out,” you begged, voice barely there, a whisper of devotion, of desperation.

Bucky let out a shaky breath, forehead pressed to yours. “I won’t, baby,” he promised, voice breaking. His pace picked up, hips rolling against yours, pushing deeper, harder, dragging against your oversensitive clit in a way that had you whimpering. “Gonna fill you up like you wanted.”

Your toes curled at the words, at the image, your walls fluttering around him.

“Oh, please don’t stop,” you gasped, rolling your hips, needing, aching.

Bucky groaned, his head dropping back as his rhythm faltered, as he snapped his hips harder, chasing the end, giving you what you wanted, giving you everything.

“Fill me up, baby,” you pleaded, your voice a broken, desperate thing. “Make me yours..”

And that—

That was what finally broke him.

Bucky snapped.

A curse tore from his throat, his grip on you bruising, unrelenting as his hips slammed into you, chasing the inevitable, giving you everything. His rhythm turned frantic, needy, his body demanding what you had just offered.

And you took it.

You craved it.

Your body tightened around him, coaxing him deeper, begging for more. Every thrust was an answer to a question neither of you had spoken aloud, a declaration in the language of skin and breath and longing.

“Fucking hell, sweetheart,” he gritted out, his forehead pressing to yours, his breath hot against your mouth. His hand slid down between you, his metal fingers finding your clit and pressing, rubbing tight circles, dragging you back to the edge with him.

Your body shook, every muscle tensed, the pleasure sharpening into something unbearable, something deadly.

“Bucky—”

“I know, baby,” he groaned, his voice cracking at the edges, his own body trembling as he held himself back, as he waited for you. “Give it to me.”

You did.

Your orgasm hit like a tidal wave, knocking the air from your lungs, blinding in its intensity. Your body locked around him, your hands clutching desperately at his shoulders as the pleasure ripped through you in violent, unrelenting waves.

And that was it. That was everything.

Bucky followed, slamming into you one last time before breaking, burying himself as deep as he could go, a shuddering groan torn from his chest as he spilled into you, filling you like he promised. You felt it as his warm cum Costas your walls, so much of it you weren’t sure there wasn’t some spilling out.

His body trembled, his arms locked tight around you, holding you close as he gave in, as he let go, as he let himself have this.

For a moment, there was silence.

Just the sound of your breathing, labored and uneven. The quiet, lingering shock of what you had just done.

Bucky’s forehead pressed against yours, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his heart hammering so hard you could feel it through his suit.

Neither of you spoke.

Neither of you moved.

You stayed like that—wrapped around him, his cock still twitching inside of you, his arms cradling you like you might disappear if he let go.

You let your eyes drift shut, your fingers tracing slow, lazy circles against the back of his neck, the weight of him comforting, grounding, even as reality started creeping back in.

You should let go.

You should move.

You should say something.

But when Bucky finally pulled back, just enough to look at you, his hands coming up to frame your face gently, his thumbs brushing over your cheekbones—

The words died on your lips.

Because he was looking at you like you had just ruined him. Like you had just changed something fundamental inside of him.

Like you had just made him yours.

And you had.

Slowly,, Bucky eased his grip, his arms still wrapped around you, his hands still mapping the shape of you, like he needed to memorize every curve, every ridge, every place he’d touched.

His lips brushed your temple, then your cheek, then your jaw—soft, tender kisses that made your heart clench, made something deep inside you ache.

It felt too big.

Too much.

But you couldn’t stop touching him.

Your fingers traced the lines of his jaw, the stubble rough beneath your touch. You pushed damp hair out of his face, ran your knuckles down the slope of his nose, his cheekbone, memorizing him the way he was memorizing you.

A hand slid up to cradle the side of your face, his thumb tracing your cheek, his expression unreadable.

When he finally spoke, his eyes were soft, but serious.

“You meant it,” he murmured.

It wasn’t a question.

You swallowed, lips parting, breath hitching.

“Bucky—”

His other hand was still pressed to your lower stomach, like he could feel himself inside you, like he could brand this moment into your skin.

“I felt it,” he whispered, almost to himself. “The way you—” He exhaled sharply, like the words were too heavy to get out.

You closed your eyes, trying to give yourself some kind of reprieve from the enormity of it all.

“Don’t run from this.” His voice was so calm, but it cut through you like a knife. “Please, doll.”

Your throat tightened.

You weren’t sure if it was the aftershocks of pleasure or the overwhelming emotion of it all, but your body was still trembling—and Bucky felt every bit of it.

His arms tightened around you, securing you to him, anchoring you.

“I’m not running,” you whispered.

He pulled back just enough to search your face, like he didn’t quite believe you.

And maybe you didn’t quite believe yourself.

Because what came next?

What happened after this?

There was you before Bucky Barnes.

There was you after Bucky Barnes.

And they weren’t the same.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky x reader smut #bucky fanfic #sebastian stan

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writeriguess · 11 hours ago

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neemaaa

can i request a katsuki x reader where they are secretly in a relationship? they get caught making out by their friends and then get teased the whole time

Unveiled

Your heart was pounding in your chest, a mix of excitement and nervousness thrumming through your veins as you pressed yourself against Katsuki Bakugo. His lips were hot against yours, moving with a fervor that sent a shiver down your spine. One of his hands was gripping your waist, pulling you impossibly closer, while the other cradled the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair. Your arms were wrapped around his neck, nails grazing the nape of his skin, earning a low groan from him that you felt reverberate through your entire body.

This was risky. So damn risky.

Your friends could walk in at any moment. Hell, they were supposed to be here already! But the adrenaline, the sheer thrill of sneaking around, made it impossible to care. You had been keeping your relationship with Bakugo a secret for months, slipping away in between training sessions, sneaking into each other’s rooms at odd hours, exchanging heated glances across the common area when no one was looking. It was exhilarating, having this little secret between just the two of you.

"Tch, you taste good," Bakugo muttered against your lips before diving back in, deepening the kiss. You couldn't help but melt into him, fingers tightening against his skin as you pulled him closer.

That was when it happened.

The door to the empty common room slammed open with a loud BANG.

"OH MY GOD!" Mina’s voice practically echoed through the room, followed by the distinct sound of Kaminari’s laughter and Kirishima’s deep chuckle. You barely had time to react before the two of you jerked apart, but it was too late.

You were caught.

Bakugo's face was a mix of horror and absolute rage, his entire body tensing as if he was about to explode—not figuratively, but literally. You, on the other hand, were frozen in place, eyes darting between your very smug-looking friends.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Kaminari wheezed, clutching his stomach as he doubled over with laughter. "I THOUGHT YOU HATED EVERYONE, BAKUGO!"

"Shut the hell up!" Bakugo barked, his face turning an alarming shade of red.

Mina smirked, her arms crossed as she leaned against the doorway. "Secret relationship, huh? Oh, this is juicy. You guys have been sneaking around this whole time? How long?!"

"None of your damn business!" Bakugo snapped, but his reaction only seemed to fuel their amusement.

Kirishima grinned, slinging an arm around Bakugo’s shoulder despite the clear and present danger of being blown to smithereens. "Man, this explains so much! You've been way less of an asshole lately."

"The hell I have!"

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. "Can we just pretend you guys didn't see anything?"

Mina gasped dramatically. "Oh, absolutely not. This is the best thing that's happened all week!"

"Yeah, we're never letting you live this down," Kaminari added, grinning wickedly. "So, tell me, Bakugo, how long have you been secretly making out with our dear friend here?"

Bakugo twitched, his fists clenched, and for a moment, you genuinely feared for Kaminari’s safety. "You wanna die, Dunce Face?"

"Relax, man, I think it’s kinda cute!" Kirishima piped up, and Bakugo turned his death glare toward him instead.

Mina was practically vibrating with excitement. "Oh, I can’t wait to tell the others! You know this means the whole class is going to grill you, right?"

"Don’t you dare," you warned, but it was futile.

"Oh, I dare," she teased, winking. "I give it five minutes before everyone in 1-A knows."

Bakugo groaned loudly, dragging a hand down his face. "I swear to god, I will kill all of you."

But the teasing didn't stop there. By the time the rest of your classmates found out, it was pure chaos. Sero and Kaminari wouldn't stop making exaggerated kissing noises every time you and Bakugo were in the same room. Todoroki, in his usual deadpan tone, commented, "I always assumed Bakugo was incapable of romance. This is surprising."

Momo and Iida, on the other hand, seemed genuinely happy for you both, though Iida did remind you that public displays of affection should be kept to a minimum.

It was insufferable. It was embarrassing. It was never-ending.

And yet, despite all the teasing, Bakugo still found ways to sneak you away, to press you against the walls of empty hallways, to steal quick, heated kisses when no one was looking.

"They can tease all they want," he muttered one night, his lips brushing against yours, "but that doesn't change a damn thing. You're mine."

And honestly? You wouldn’t have it any other way.

#bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x you #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo x you #bakugo x y/n #bnha #mha #mha fanfiction #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

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heliosunny · 2 days ago

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MANN I'M DYING FOR A VAMPIRE FYODOR X READER. It's like searching for a pond in a desert. i desperately need vampire Fyodor. Please , I'M BEGGING, could you write vampire Fyodor?

- 🐢🐢

Yandere!Vampire Fyodor x Reader

The grand estate was eerily silent at this hour, save for the distant crackling of a dying hearth and the faint rustling of curtains swayed by the night wind. You moved carefully, your footsteps muffled by the lavish rugs lining the marble floors.

You were never supposed to be here.

The noble lords and ladies who waltzed through the halls of this manor held no concern for people like you—lowly servants, invisible until summoned. And yet, your curiosity had drawn you beyond the gilded doors, into the chambers where only the elite dared to tread.

The scent of iron hit you first. It was thick, suffocating, clinging to the air like a veil of death. Then, the sight of moonlight spilling through stained glass, illuminating the lifeless body of a nobleman slumped in his chair, blood trickling from his throat.

And beside him, a man sat with eerie poise.

He was dressed in fine silk. His fingers, long and delicate, trailed absently along the rim of an untouched wine glass. His pale face was unreadable, but his eyes—cold, knowing, and touched with amusement.

“Ah… what an unfortunate turn of events.”

The smooth lilt of his voice sent a shiver down your spine.

“You really shouldn’t be here, my dear.”

Your legs refused to obey, to run. Fyodor Dostoevsky, the esteemed nobleman, the brilliant tactician of the court, the man whom even kings feared—was no mere human.

You had seen something you were never meant to witness.

“Now, what should I do with you?”

Your body tensed against his cold grip, your mind scrambling for something—anything—that might make him reconsider killing you. Logic said nothing would work, but desperation had a way of making fools out of even the most rational people.

“P-please…” Your voice wavered, but you forced yourself to meet his gaze, wide-eyed and pleading. “I....I won’t say anything! I swear! I’ll forget everything I saw! I’m just a servant, nothing important! You don’t have to kill me, right?”

“Ah… is that so?”

You nodded frantically, trying to keep your voice light, as if you were reasoning with a dangerous animal. “Yes! Yes! I’m useless! Just a background character in this grand house! You wouldn’t even notice me if I hadn’t wandered in! I can go back to being invisible, I promise!”

A soft chuckle left his lips. “Invisible? My dear, I noticed you long before this little accident.”

What did he just say?

He leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear. “You always walk a little slower when passing the eastern wing. Do you find the stained glass fascinating?”

Your breath hitched.

“You arrange the books in the library alphabetically, even though no one asked you to.”

Your hands trembled.

“And I do wonder… do you hum out of habit, or do you simply forget that others can hear you?”

He had been watching you.

For how long?

A gloved finger traced along your jaw, tilting your face up until your wide, frightened eyes met his.

“You’re quite adorable when you beg” Fyodor murmured, his lips curving into a smirk. “Like a little rabbit, caught in a trap.”

“W-wait—”

“Ah, but what kind of master would I be if I let my pet run free?”

Your body moved before your mind could catch up- pure instinct, sheer desperation. You twisted in his grip, jerking backward with all your strength.

For a split second, his fingers loosened.

You didn’t waste it. You wrenched free and ran.

The door was just a few steps away. If you could just reach it, just make it into the halls—you could lose him in the endless corridors of the estate. You could warn someone. But the moment your fingertips brushed the doorknob, the room tilted.

A rush of wind, the blur of candlelight, the sickening realization that you were no longer in control of your own movement. Your back collided with the nearest bookshelf, the force knocking the breath from your lungs. A sharp gasp left you as books tumbled to the floor around you, dust spiraling in the dim light.

Before you could even regain your footing, he was there.

Fyodor loomed over you, his expression eerily calm.

“That,” he murmured, “was rather rude, don’t you think?”

You barely had time to react before he grabbed your wrist again—tighter this time, with none of the deceptive gentleness from before. You struggled, thrashing in his grip, but it was like fighting against iron shackles.

“Let...go!”

“Shh…” Fyodor’s other hand came up, his fingers ghosting over your lips in a mockery of tenderness. “You keep making this worse for yourself.”

“You should have stayed quiet, little one” he sighed. “Now you’ve gone and made yourself so much more interesting.”

His grip shifted, effortlessly pulling you against him as he tilted his head, studying your expression with dark amusement.

“Struggle all you like” he leaned closer, his lips dangerously close to your ear, “but in the end, my dear…”

His fingers trailed down your throat, feeling the frantic flutter of your pulse beneath his touch.

“Even a pawn must obey its king.”

The clinking of metal was the first thing you noticed when you stirred.

You blinked blearily, your body sluggish, your limbs weak. The moment you tried to move, something stopped you—a harsh tug at your wrist.

Chains.

Your heart slammed against your ribs as you finally took in your surroundings. The dim glow of candlelight flickered against the stone walls of what seemed to be a private chamber. Lavish yet eerie, filled with books, maps, and an ominous grand chair positioned before a desk.

And you…

You were inside a cage.

Your breath hitched as you scrambled back, the cold iron bars pressing against your spine. The space was just large enough for you to sit, but not to fully stretch out. The chains around your wrists rattled as you gripped the bars, panic clawing at your throat.

“Ah… you’re awake.”

Fyodor sat nearby, his long fingers absentmindedly twirling a chess piece. He looked perfectly composed, as if caging another person in his chambers was nothing more than a trivial afterthought.

“You…” Your voice cracked, hoarse with fear. “Let me out. Let me out, please!”

Fyodor tilted his head, his violet eyes gleaming with amusement.

“Already begging? How precious.”

You gritted your teeth, ignoring the way your hands trembled against the bars. “This isn’t funny, Fyodor. You can’t keep me here—someone will notice I’m gone.”

He chuckled, resting his chin on his hand. “Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong, my dear.” His gaze darkened, his smirk sharpening. “No one is looking for you.”

The words struck like a slap.

“Liar.”

“Am I?” He hummed, tapping the chess piece against the table. “You were just a servant, weren’t you? No family nearby. No close friends. No one of real importance.” His voice was sickeningly sweet.

“That’s not true—”

“But now,” he interrupted, standing gracefully, “you belong to me.”

He walked toward the cage, his presence suffocating, until he was right in front of you. His hand reached through the bars, fingers curling under your chin, tilting your face up.

“A stray little thing,” he mused, his grip firm but not cruel. “But worry not—I take very good care of my pets. Though you're the very first human I kept.”

“I am not a pet!”

Tears pricked at your eyes, frustration and fear bubbling over. “Please… I don’t belong here. Just let me go. I swear, I won’t tell anyone—I’ll disappear, you’ll never have to see me again.”

For a moment, he simply stared. Then, he smiled.

“No.”

You bit your lip, trying to suppress the sob threatening to escape. “Please…” you whispered, voice breaking. “I just want to go home.”

Fyodor’s gaze softened, mockingly so. He crouched slightly, lowering himself to your level, his fingers gently tracing the curve of your jaw.

“Silly little thing” he murmured, almost fondly. “This is your home now.”

The moment you realized that begging wouldn’t work, you forced yourself to stop crying. It was difficult, but if you wanted to escape, you had to be smart. Fyodor thrived on fear, on your desperation. If you kept breaking down, he’d never let his guard down.

So instead, you swallowed your pride and played along.

For days, you obeyed without resistance. You responded softly when he spoke, kept your eyes lowered when he touched your cheek, forced yourself to eat the food he provided. You pretended to be docile, slowly giving in to the role he wanted from you.

“Such an obedient little thing,” Fyodor mused one evening, watching as you quietly sipped the tea he had given you. “It seems you’re learning your place.”

You only nodded, keeping your expression neutral.

He smiled at that, pleased.

Then, the opportunity came.

One night, Fyodor received a summons, an urgent matter that required his presence elsewhere. He glanced at you through the bars before leaving, his gaze filled with silent amusement.

“Be good while I’m gone.”

And just like that, you were alone.

The moment the door shut behind him, you dropped the act.

Your hands trembled as you reached for the lock on your cage, your breath coming fast. No key, no tools—but that didn’t matter. You had spent the last few days observing everything in this room, including the way the cage door was secured.

"Come on, come on..."

You twisted the hinges, pressing your weight against the weakest part of the bars. It took everything in you to remain silent as the metal creaked, shifting slightly. Almost there—

With a final push, the lock snapped.

You stumbled out, your legs weak from days of confinement, but you didn’t stop moving. You darted to the door, pressing your ear against it—nothing.

Your heartbeat roared in your ears as you slipped into the dimly lit hallway. Every step was a risk, every breath a gamble, but you couldn’t stop now. You had to make it out.

But as you turned the corner, your blood ran cold.

“Going somewhere, my dear?”

Fyodor.

The silence stretched between you like a knife’s edge.

Every muscle in your body frozen as Fyodor took a step forward.

“You disappoint me.”

A sharp gasp tore from your lips as you were slammed against the cold stone wall, your wrists pinned above your head by a single, merciless hand.

Your vision blurred. You hadn’t even seen him move.

“Did you really think you could escape me?”

You whimpered, your chest heaving as you tried to twist free. “Fyodor—”

“Silence.”

His grip tightened, forcing a choked gasp from you.

“I was kind to you.” His other hand trailed along your jaw, deceptively gentle despite the bruising force keeping you trapped. “I gave you food, warmth… a place to belong.”

His fingers reached your throat.

“And yet, like an ungrateful little pet…” His nails grazed your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. “You tried to run.”

“I-I just.....”

A sudden sharp pain shot through your shoulder. You barely had time to process the flash of movement before you felt the unmistakable sensation of his fangs sinking into your flesh.

The pain was deep, burning, a violation that sent every nerve in your body into a frenzy. Fyodor held you still, keeping you pinned as he drank—slow, unhurried, savoring.

By the time he finally pulled back, his lips were stained crimson. His tongue flicked out, licking away the last trace of your blood as he gazed down at you.

“Let this be a lesson, my dear.”

Your body trembled violently, tears slipping down your cheeks as you sagged in his grip.

“You are mine.”

His hand released you.

You collapsed to the floor, barely catching yourself on weak, trembling arms. The throbbing in your shoulder was unbearable, but worse was the realization that you had failed.

#yandere x reader #yandere #bsd x you #yandere bsd #bsd x reader #bsd fyodor dostoevsky #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor x reader #fyodor bsd

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frxstbyt · 11 hours ago

Text

Okay, so I actually wrote something for this— 🤓

Uh, TW/CW for animal death, vomiting and swearing.

“Where exactly are you taking me?” Dally asks as Two-Bit turns on the car’s ignition.

“We’s just goin’ for a drive, Dal,” Two-Bit answers, turning the radio on. “You’re always with Ponykid. I miss hanging out with my buddy,” he adds, smile faltering at he looks over at Dally.

Dally frowns slightly. “Oh,” he says. “Yeah, sorry about that.” His gaze lowers for a moment before flicking back up to Two-Bit. “I’ve just been kinda worried about him, y’know? After Johnny...” He stops, throat closing up. He turns his head away, not wanting Two-Bit to see the tears in the corners of his eyes.

Two-Bit’s chest tightens. He knew what Dally was going to say: “After Johnny died.” It’s been six months since his death and Dally was still struggling to accept that as fact. Hell, Two-Bit himself was too. The whole gang was still grieving. Ponyboy had it the worst; Two-Bit knows how close he’d been with Johnny, and it was hard watching the kid grieve. But, life goes on, and hopefully, some day, Ponyboy’d move on, too.

Two-Bit claps a hand on Dally’s broad shoulder, and the blond turns to face him. His eyes are glossy and rimmed-red slightly, but Two-Bit doesn’t dare to call it out. He’d rather keep his nose intact thankyouverymuch.

“Tell ya what,” he says, “let’s go over to Dairy Queen and pick up some lunch. I skipped breakfast and I’m about starved.”

Dally smirks. “Your mama forget to go grocery shoppin’ yesterday?” he teases.

“No,” Two-Bit says, “I woke up late, s’all.” He puts the car in reverse and starts backing up. The car bounces a bit, startling both young men. Two-Bit stops the car, a bewildered look on his face as Dally peers out the window. “Dang, I didn’t know Darry installed a speedbump!” Two-Bit laughs, slapping the steering wheel with both hands.

“THAT WASN’T A SPEEDBUMP, YOU CHICKEN FRIED FUCK,” Dally bellows, whipping his head around. His eyes are huge and his face is whiter than his hair. “THAT WAS MY CAT!”

Two-Bit stares, horrified.

Uh oh...

─────

The veterinarian holds Dally’s hair back as he dry heaves into the trash can (again), rubbing his back soothingly with their other hand. They look up when they hear Two-Bit murmer, “Jesus Christ...”

Two-Bit sits in one of the room’s plastic chairs, hunched over with his head in his hands. He still can’t believe what he’s done. He’s killed Dally’s cat. Well, kind of. The cat was still alive when they rushed him to the vet’s office, hoping that there was a chance to save him—a slim chance, but a chance nonetheless. But the damage had been done, the feline’s injuries too severe to salvage, and the doctors had no choice but to put him out of his misery.

Two-Bit glances up as Dally finishes dry heaving, the vet wiping the vomit from his lips with a tissue before the blond crashes down onto the floor, face-first, sobbing loudly. The vet gives him a soft, sad, empathetic look before tossing the tissue into the trash can, standing up and walking over to Two-Bit.

“Let’s get him somewhere more comfortable,” the man says quietly, gesturing to Dally. “I don’t want him scaring anyone and their pets.”

Two-Bit nods, pushing himself to his feet and making his way over to the weeping blond. He kneels down and rests a hand on his shoulder. “Dally,” he whispers, “let’s get outta here. There ain’t no reason to be here any longer than we need to be.”

Dally lifts his head up slightly, blinking at Two-Bit through the thick tears that cloud his vision. He looks down and gives the slightest hint of a nod, sniffling.

Two-Bit blinks away his own tears. “C’mon,” he says as he and the veterinarian struggle to lift Dally to his feet, “I’ll bring ya home.”

─────

“YOU WHAT?”

Steve stares at Two-Bit, horrifed, as Two-Bit nods. “Yeah. I...” He pauses for a moment, then sighs heavily. “I ran ‘im over in the driveway and the vet had to put him down,” he explains, rubbing the back of his neck.

Sodapop gapes at him. “Oh my god...” he breathes, pressing a hand over his heart. “I can’t imagine how Dal must be feeling.” His brown eyes soften and well up. He sniffs, blinking back tears.

“God, that’s horrible,” Darry mumbles, still holding the newspaper he’d been reading before Two-Bit walked in. “But I’m sure Dally’ll forgive you some day. It was an accident, after all.”

Two-Bit scoffed. “If Dally ever did forgive me for killin’ his cat, I’d die of shock.”

“Wait,” Ponyboy says, lowering his book, green eyes wide as he turns to Two-Bit, “it was his cat? Like, he actually adopted it?”

Two-Bit nods.

Ponyboy stares at him for a while, then snorts. “He ain’t ever gonna forgive you,” he says, turning back to his book. “You’re fucked.”

“Big time,” Two-Bit agrees. He sighs again and presses the heels of his hands over his eyes. “What am I gonna do? Dally hates me now.”

“He hates you even more,” Ponyboy points out without looking up from his book.

“Pony,” Darry says sternly, narrowing his eyes at him. His gaze moves over to Two-Bit, softening. “He’ll forgive you some day, Two. I know he will.”

Two-Bit groans, flopping back into the couch cushions, an arm thrown over his eyes. “Can we change the subject?”

“Sure thing, bud,” Steve pipes up, shuffling the cards in his hands. “You wanna play a round’a poker?”

Two-Bit peeks at him under his arm. “Yeah, why not?” He sits up and slides off the couch to sit on the floor in front of the table across from Steve. Steve shuffles the cards one last time before distributing them.

“Count me in, too!” Sodapop chimes, plopping down in between them. Steve rolls his eyes and flicks a card at his nose, grinning when Soda blurts out, “Hey!”

Two-Bit rolls his eyes and looks down at the cards in his hand as Soda and Steve start wrestling around on the floor. (Sodapop must’ve been sneaking the ace into his sock again and Steve caught him in the act.) His mind strays over to Dally, but he shakes it off after a moment. He can talk to Dal tomorrow.

The ending SUCKS, but I ain’t changin’ it. Ù-Ú

Hope you liked it, lol.

TWO-BIT: *pulls out of the driveway*

*car bounces*

TWO-BIT: SPEEDBUMP!

DALLAS: THAT WAS MY CAT.

#the outsiders #the outsiders fanfiction #dallas winston #two-bit mathews #darry curtis #sodapop curtis #ponyboy curtis #steve randle #johnny cade #dally’s cat #my writing #reblog

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tubbytarchia · 3 days ago

Note

Ngl I kinda hate it when you talk about lizzie cause you always talk about this version of her and the fandom that's so utterly foreign to me as a lizzie fan, it always feels like a damned if you do damned if you don't scenario where she isn't allowed to interact with men and ignoring all the depth of her character in order to overanalyze specific events or headcanons in a vacuum and then saying it's ignoring her character and misogyny, as well as ignoring the irl misogyny that shapes the cc's choices for their c's. Big sister and protector is a title she bestowed upon herself and it should neither be dismissed as "just that one time " (because so much of everyone else's characterization is based on things that were "that one time" and it is also something both her and jimmy choose to quite fondly call back to) nor incongruent with her character at someone who loves a good "i meant to do that" and self-agrandizing herself. It feels more like you have to ignore several years worth of both hers and jimmy's story and characterization and also the more problematic realities of the situation (such as it being lizzies second season, while it had been jimmy's 5th season of an incredbly prominent ongoing plot point, and that lizzie's external interactions of note were, outside of our power and for various reasons, primarily with men, among other things) to boil the whole situation down to its most barest of bones of "people make lizzies death about jimmy". Which I find an untrue twisting of the actual concept most of the time but acknowledge it is sometimes simplified to, and there are aspects of misogyny in lizzie's portrayal, but you frame it in a way as if the concept itself is inherently misogynistic and purely a fandom issue. The fact is that no matter who it was, the first first death that wasnt jimmy was always going to be a bit about jimmy, there is no avoiding it and no seasonal plot that was going to overcome that fact, and lizzie is a good friend whos become his sister who explicitely had a plot about wanting and failing to protect him, who had a significant interaction with him not long prior where he killed her accidentally, and died while specifically targetting a man who was both jimmys tormenter and joels rival whom she randomly selected to be her target, and died due to a tripping failure which has already been previously interpretted in the past as being tied to fate, and the in game reactions being cpnfusion, happy/shocked jimmy managed to not be out first, and swearing to avenge her death. You'd be hard pressed to believe these things wouldn't be still true and play out the same if she was a different gender, and most of them would still happen even if she was an entirely different player. Nevermind the copious different interpretations that fall within the framing of it as a seablings moment, from wanting to give an accidental death more meaning and connecting dots (because thats most of what fandom does with an ad libbed story like the life series to begin with), to simply enjoying the poetic irony of both seablings being the first out, lizzie showing her true cringfail colours now that shes returned to the series, to tying it into the fact that yes she didn't do it onl purpose, but she absolutely would tell people and even herself that she did just to retain her dignity in the same way a cat who missed a toy stops chasing it and starts grooming themselves like they never meant to go after it in the first place.

And also, like, you ARE a Jimmy person also, so I'm not surprised you primarily interacted with stuff that involved Jimmy. As a Lizzie fan I saw plenty that was to do primarily with Lizzie, and yeah there was a significant amount that involved Jimmy. I didn't see any one of the people who complained about that fact actually go on to make works without Jimmy. I did see other Lizzie fans before and after making such works, and the works that did involve Jimmy being works with deapth and love for their specific relationship, stories, and personalities. I saw plenty of people who hadn't watched Lizzie at all suddenly become interested and retroactively watch her series, and of course the works the made before doing so weren't centred on her, because they were coming from different povs and didn't know as much, and their works after became more in-depth and come out the gate swinging during wild life where she stole the spotlight for much of the season.

I don't know as much about Pearl and Gem's fandoms. But I do know that Pearl is frequently treated as a wet cat and a little crazy, but also she loves playing particular characters like postwoman and cleaning lady that specifically utilize their responsibility to enact chaos through malicious compliance. And Gem takes open pride at being smarter and less ridiculous than everyone else even while actively doing the same things as them, she loves going "youre crazy!... I'm in." And she's pulled a "stupid boys" move several times. Which is to say, whether you consider it a product of misogyny or not, it is an aspect of their characters, they don't live in a cultural vacuum and by the nature of the series where they are only partly roleplaying and each character exists within the framework of their cc's biases, you cannot just analyze their actions like its a typical narrative with a single author you can point to and say they poorly write women. And you cannot blame fandom when these aspects of their character are represented, and while some do do so to the exclusion of the rest, 5am Pearl is the only life series plushie for a reason. Nevermind the difficulties of analyzing what people an fandom think of characters based off of the popularity of certain art and umbrella narrative concepts from fanwork posted excitedly in the moment without going to each individual and asking them what their full thoughts are on a character assuming they have the ability to articulate their opinions and thoughts properly. I'm sure those people who complained about Lizzie's death being tied to Jimmy had a LOT of thoughts about Lizzie, but as I said none of them actually bore fruit in the form of fanworks. Most people do not have time or ability to convey complex ideas, what you see at any given time when searching through fanart and short text posts in particular are the most resonant, dramatic, small thoughts and moments that touched something in someone enpugh to inspire.

That is to say, as a Lizzie fan, one of the reasons I love her is the exact trits that lead to her choosing to become Jimmy's big sister in empires 1 in the way that she does. Her paper thin often facade of respectability and dignity, her failures despite it, her talent for mixing drama and comedy, her ability make up stories that often agrandize herself, her instant chemistry with most anyone, her ditziness and distractedness, her ability confidently declare facts even when theyre completely false, her ability to tie coincidences together into a coherent story. And absolutely all these things are also relevant to why I and others find framing her secret life death in a seablings light to be compelling. Personally, for me, I love that her death connects her to others when her time in secret life was so lonely. It can be bother angsty and, because these games don't end at the persons death, comforting and sweet. And I don't know anyone who was compelled by the potential character connection who wasn't also compelled and even directly spurred on by her as an individual. To boil it down to "she died for a man's story" is both untrue and removing it from its context, the especially when half the context is 2 narratives Lizzie herself crafted for herself and the result was something she herself enjoed enough to play into to craft a 3rd narrative in the next series.

Anyways... I know this won't change your mind. I don't expect it to. I'm just so tired of shallow takes and people who aren't even Lizzie fans talking about Lizzie's narrative through the context of the small snippet of what they see from other non-Lizzie fans based off immediate gut reactions that often stifle the way people talk about the women in this series to ironically complain about how people talk about women in this series. The feminist analysis in this fandom feels so... shallow. Like it begins and ends with the bechdel test as applied to more conventional works of fiction. Big sister bad, women interact primarily with men bad, people see women as responsible because misogyny. No further depth or context despite the endless paragraphs dedicated to these ideas, especially once theyre disseminated out to use against other fans to tell them theyre creating fanworks wrong.

Because of how politely this is written, it took me a few rereads and external evaluation, but I recognize that you're criticizing me for the things I criticize. All your ask really boils down to, is defending fandom practises that I criticize because I disagree with them. Like that of making Lizzie out to be a one-note character. You make good points, you speak the truth. The fandom IS like this. And that's why I criticize it. Because I don't like it. You're absolutely right that you haven't changed my mind

People are allowed to have their fun, I do not police people. I do not maintag my opinions 90% of the time. I'm allowed to voice my disagreements. You pointed out that a lot of fandom goers just don't care to dwell deeper into characters, that's fine. But I do

I think it says something when you have to make Lizzie's character about a relationship that was canon in ESMP1 and bears little to no actual presence elsewhere like the Life series. I don't care whether people headcanon her and Jimmy as siblings even in traffic, the issue is that she gets little to no characterization outside of that in SL, a series in which their only notable interaction was Jimmy killing her. Lizzie deserves an identity outside of "choosing to be Jimmy's sister". (She'd also gone out of her way to try and kill Scott because of Joel, it wasn't random.) And this type of treatment is detrimental to Jimmy too. Just as the misogyny in the fandom is always detrimental to the men also. Quoting one of my evaluation friends: "They aren't inherently wrong, you cant detach the men from the story and have it be the same but also to take an already interesting moment and story beat and just start piling unnecessary 'sibling' stuff onto it kind of ruins the drama and tragedy of the death itself"

Of course women can have meaningful connections with the men. It's not bad or misogynistic. I talk about Pearl and Scott's dynamic constantly and have never seen nor received a complaint about Pearl's character being made to be all about a man. Think about the relevance between those two vs Jimmy and Lizzie in the Life series

I talk about Lizzie frequently because I like and care about her character. I'm not saying that the people I disagree with don't. Clearly you care a lot too. The sentiment that people are just creating based on something that left a big enough impact on them to inspire, eg Lizzie's SL death, is very fair, but I can still disagree with it. I mourn that more people don't take that newfound interest to indulge in Lizzie's POV more, and that because of people's tendency to absorb characterization from the fandom to feed back into itself, that's all a lot of them know and care to learn about ("Lizzie taking a bullet for Jimmy" and all) and how so many characters (not just the women) in my opinion end up being absurdly one-note in their analysis and opinion pieces for being players in a death game (+ the practise of often shunning people who dare touch upon anything less desirable or popular in their analysis like abuse)

If it were a guy in Lizzie's shoes, characterized the same way that I disagree with - I would still disagree with it

I've explained it before but no, it's not misogynistic to credit the women for their successes, to point out when they're smart or protective. I see it as misogynistic when women exclusively are being accredited to successes that are not exclusive to them constantly to label them as the leaders of their groups, labelling them motherly or big sisterly solely because they're thought to be better than their male counterparts, viewing all the women as the best players specifically, etc

Lizzie's death was always going to be tied to Jimmy, yes, by the fandom, and I just don't like that personally. I don't want to resign myself to something because it "was going to happen anyway". I don't want to resign myself to approving of what little Lizzie gets in the way of the fandom because it's better than getting nothing. I shouldn't have to settle for more canary analogies than actual Lizzie centric content that barely exists. And I mean actual Lizzie centric content, I haven't seen any uptick of it that you speak of. That's all any of this really comes down to. You and I might both be avid fans of Lizzie's character but we're gonna have to disagree

#blabber

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akiranzee · 2 days ago

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Hi! Is there any chance you’d write a Muzan x wife!reader? The demon slayer corp found out about her and kidnap her to lure Muzan out. You can choose how the rest goes, whatever you want! Thank you so much if you do write it 😊

❦ • ° ` — \\ “DOING IT ALL FOR LOVE”

╰┈➤ PAIRINGS: muzan x y/n ╰┈➤ W/C: 2.3k+ ╰┈➤ CONTAINS: gore, blood, swearing, violence, death, killing, kidnapping, & muzan is 1,000 while reader is 25. ╰┈➤ A/N: this is prolly the gori-est i can last😭😭😭.

-------------Loading…------------

------------Complete!------------

it was not long ago that you and muzan got married, following your human customs.

specifically, it was merely two weeks. and yet, word had already gotten out, despite the marriage held in the infinity castle.

soon, it reached the prying ears of the hashiras. and then, they came up with a “brilliant” plan.

“but.. isn’t this kind of evil..? i mean — we’re doing things just as demons do!” mitsuri exclaimed, in a desperate tone, begging everyone around her to get their minds on the right track.

“there’s no choice, kanroji.. i have to agree with shinazugawa-sama over here.” shinobu agreed with what the white-haired man stated just a mere while ago.

“but it’s too-!!”

“shut up, kanroji.” sanemi immediately cut her off. “i don’t fucking care if you all act like saints, if himejima or oyakata-sama disagrees.. i’m going to make sure that fucking demon suffers the same as us. hell, his wife won’t even be able to make up for all our losses.” through clenched teeth and fist, sanemi growled.

“we’ll just go through the first plan. leave his wife alone, and just use her to kill him. that’s better.” tengen, not in his usual cheery state, had a voice of solemn, a seriousness not everyone was used to seeing.

“you all... rengoku-sama won’t like this! his wife is innocent! why can’t we just—” misturi continued, and sanemi ended.

“fuck it! why are you even here!? you think we’d live longer if we won’t act!? you wanna lose everyone ‘round here like how you lost rengoku!?” sanemi lost it. he was by far gone insane, and everyone had witnessed it. but it was an insanity that was necessary in this world.

“hey.” obanai inserted himself. “me and kanroji will stay out of this.” he said, leaving the room with mitsuri willingly following.

“are you sure we would be able to execute the plan, shinazugawa-san? just the three of us?” shinobu asked, worry and concern was not apparent in her voice, even if that was a question of one.

“we’ll tough it out. those two are acting like pussies.” sanemi bitterly spat. everyone looked at each other in silence, all of them understood the weight and risk of what they were about to do.

silence. that was the best cure.

minutes passed, and two people entered the room once again. it was mitsuri and obanai.

“i’m sorry... obanai-san helped me understand... but can we all agree with one thing?” everyone looked at mitsuri with curiosity.

“that... we don’t.. hurt his wife, no matter what?” mitsuri hesitantly said, fearing that everyone would look at her in mockery.

everyone didn’t, only sanemi did. “hah! his wife may be human, but even considering marrying a demon just makes her all the more a traitor!” sanemi violently lashed back, just wondering what goes on in your mind, that made you marry a cruel being, even more the demon king.

“b-but what if she doesn’t know...!” mitsuri’s tone was soft, despite the desperation and need to lure her comrades out of the evil mindset.

“doesn’t know!? are you kidding me!? they literally married in the infinity castle!” sanemi’s veins started popping out of his forehead, causing obanai to move a step closer in between them.

“oh.. right..” mitsuri bit her bottom lip in humiliation, wanting the earth to simply swallow her whole.

“but.. what if she was just brainwashed?” mitsuri spoke again, this time, with sureness in her voice.

“...that could be a possibility.” shinobu agreed with her, then glanced at sanemi who seemed to think the same as her.

“...whatever it is, we’ll get to ask her.” it was a conclusion, for sanemi, and everyone.

“but.. even if she tries to fight back, can we still not hurt her...?” it would not take a fool to hear the desperation in mitsuri’s voice, all she perhaps ever wanted was her friends to get back on their right minds. to her, this was not so far as what demons do.

“look, can you just plant it in that pretty little head of yours that no matter what — kindness will do you no fucking good? you’d be a fool to believe she’s a saint to start with. she married a murderer. a monster. what else is there to pity on her? go on, show kindness and i’ll watch you get taken advantage of.” sanemi sauntered menacingly towards mitsuri, “don‘t come crying if your head gets cut off or whatever.” he says at last, before leaving the room.

obanai glanced at mitsuri and gently patted her back, he wanted to be angry at sanemi, but he knew where he came from. after all, to trust in this world means you are willing to be fooled.

~~~~~

“that’s... her?” tengen asked, bewildered would be the right word, mixed along with shocked.

“she looks... normal.” and by normal, obanai means average. they looked you up and down once more, everything about you just seemed so plain that even tengen wasn’t that interested.

“normal or not, she’s something that not your average girls can compare to.” sanemi said, in a sinister tone.

“so? do we carry it out now?” obanai suggested impatiently.

“no, not... yet.” sanemi stood up and sauntered towards the busy street, eyeing you from afar.

“let’s see if that demon comes.” sanemi crossed his arms in patience, his fellow hashiras tagging along in hiding while you walked.

and, for who knows how many minutes had passed, sanemi concluded that it was time to conduct it.

“uh... hello, may i ask where the famous dango store is? i heard it’s really good!” mitsuri walked towards you, asking in a friendly smile.

“oh... it is right around the corner, near the public bathroom.” you pointed towards wherever you knew it was, but mitsuri insisted,

“oh, um.. can you please come with me? i’m really afraid to go alone... i’ve heard lots of creepy stories there.” feigning with fear, the other hashiras would commend her for an act well done.

and sure enough, that act was enough to convince you. “oh, from woman to woman, i also don’t feel safe around there. come.” you started to walk towards the location, looking back once in a while to see if mitsuri was still following you.

as you arrived, it became a secluded spot. the once lively red light district, grew unusually quiet in a certain corner you are in.

“oh, hmm.. the dango seller isn’t here... where could he be?” you mused, looking behind his stall to check, but sure enough, no one was around.

“ahh.. it’s really a shame, also the fact that they have to sell dango in this secluded area..” mitsuri feigned disappointment, all the while you looked at her with genuineness.

“shall we return?” you asked. perhaps this woman amused you.

“yes, please!” but as soon as she did, the light went out of you.

~~~~~

“well, that wasn’t so hard!” tengen whistled successfully, his hands behind his head.

“i would have thought it would need us to exert force.” shinobu said with nonchalance, her empty gaze never fazing.

“see? this is where kindness gets you.” sanemi sauntered towards your unconscious self, his sentence referring to mitsuri, who was now drowning in guilt.

soon enough, when you showed no signs of waking up, all the other hashiras left, leaving sanemi and shinobu, the ones who are so desperate for revenge.

~~~~~

a cough has been knocked out of you, followed then by a series of them.

“finally awake.” sanemi stood up, and sauntered towards you, stopping only when you were inches away.

he knelt down to your poor height, “say.. how can we enter the infinity castle?” the sudden question caught you off guard.

“look.. i don’t know how you demon slayers found out, but i will warn you. once he finds all of us, it will be the end.” you warned, but to them, it sounded like a threat.

sanemi merely chuckled, with a crazed laughter. “oh? and by the time he finds us, you’ve already faded to oblivion!” you winced at the loud voice, booming in your eardrum.

“shinazugawa-san.. perhaps it would be best if you took a fresh air. i have always suspected once your veins appear, you are about to lose control.” shinobu said calmly again, perhaps something about that voice makes him irk, but still, he obeyed.

after sanemi had left the room that’s seemingly a tent, it was now shinobu’s turn to kneel down to your crouching height.

“such pure innocence.. yet you choose to be tainted by impurity. why?” she held your chin gently, as if to gaze on your face, and stare in your eyes.

“he is a demon, yes. but he is not a monster.” you gritted your teeth.

“but do you know all of his deeds?” shinobu tilted her head to the right.

“yes,” you bit your lip, “but he also has kindness within. however would i have loved him if he was full of evil?”

shinobu was confused, but as usual, it wouldn’t be visible in her face. “then where is it? the so-called kindness?”

“he wouldn’t be called a demon if he showed them.”

“then how can you say so?”

“because i have no bruises, no wounds, no nothing.”

“...not yet.”

“there is no yet. for he has already laid his finger on me, but it would not be filled with violence, but instead of warmth and gentleness.”

“that is kindness?”

“no, that is affection. his kindness lies from deep within. he has the power to wipe down the earth, but he did not, and will not, because he only wishes for one thing. and if he has his hands on that one thing, then he will be at peace, and every deed will end.”

shinobu paused for a moment, but continued, “for every affection and kindness he had shown you, every single person dies. do you not feel pity?”

but, you merely chuckled. “you ask that of a killer’s wife.”

shinobu squinted her eyes and sighed, “such pride you put in that shameful title. i am losing patience.”

“let me go, and he will not harm anyone here.”

shinobu’s gaze darkened, “there is no one here. it is merely you and I, and that man from before. why would you have thought we would have brought a ticking danger in our homes?”

“that is a good point. but will you let me go?”

“no. we will wait for your dear husband to come. after all, you are the bait.” shinobu then, left, whooshing the curtain of the tent with a cold breeze.

and as all three of you waited, along with the other hashiras that had arrived, night finally fell, and still, no signs of muzan.

but, as soon as midnight did fall, horror started to arise. in a swift motion, tengen, who had been guarding a few meters away, was knocked out.

next, then, came for mitsuri who did not miss to scream and alert everyone, then, next was obanai, who, in turn took a hit for mitsuri, and the wind was knocked out of him.

perhaps it was not only madness and fear, but the shrill horror and terror that muzan brought was overwhelming.

he sauntered towards the very tent you were in, not missing the chance to bash sanemi’s head on a nearby tree, and grip shinobu’s neck in the air.

but, instead of fear, you felt safe as soon as you saw him enter the tent, with shinobu in tow.

but, of course, you did not feel too happy that he would be willing to commit a massacre for you.

“...muzan, let her go and untie me, please?” you pleaded in a soft voice, one that would always lull muzan.

but, he gritted his teeth and gripped shinobu’s neck much tighter. “and why should i? when they have caused you pain!?” he was angry now.

he threw shinobu to the side, and was about to untie you, until sanemi and mitsuri were quick to their feet and slashed muzan.

but, unfortunately, it was merely his back and he had easily healed in less than a second. his crimson eyes glowed in the dark. it was as if a ravenous beast was starving, and is willing to tear and eat every single thing it sees.

his long nails lunged towards mitsuri, but sanemi sliced his wrist, in which — quickly regenerated and still reached for mitsuri’s throat, but also which she luckily dodged.

then, another series of slash and slices, in which he finally used 30% of his strength, slicing sanemi’s body diagonally, that blood rushed out from him, leaving him in the ground, in pain.

mitsuri watched in horror, her fellow hashira dying all because of hunger, and this too — was the cause of her death, her inability to act and think led to her own demise, and was slashed savagely by the throat, in which he so grotesquely ravaged.

but, just when muzan thought it had been over, sanemi lunged in action again. with... a few modifications of his body.

something — something. ignited in muzan, as if seeing someone so determined, despite the low chances — it just fuels his cruel desire to break that determined soul.

seeing sanemi — the scarred white-haired man that he slashed almost in half, now with steel bars in between his body, perhaps to keep it from splitting, his skin covering the gruesome bloodshed of his own, each end of the four steel bars plunged into his skin to keep it from opening. you almost felt like puking, had you looked longer.

seeing mitsuri, a death of a hashira did not waver sanemi though, even if deep inside, he truly cared. he lunged again at muzan, only for muzan to move twice faster than him, and slashed half his face only — in which that because sanemi managed to dodge in a mere second.

had he dodged in two seconds, it would be the end. you yelled, “muzan!! don’t hurt them, please? they didn’t hurt me!!” this was the first time muzan ever killed someone in front of you, also in a brutal way you’d never think was possible.

“they were about to!!” sanemi took your small banter with muzan as an advantage, and kept lunging, along with shinobu that finally stood with a broken right leg, and continuously attacked.

but, even so that muzan was outnumbered, he still managed to lunge both of them towards the darkness of the forest, and disappeared in the night.

he finally sauntered towards you, concern glimmered in your eyes as sweat dripped from your forehead to your chin, as you panted in the cold air.

he expected fear was instilled in your eyes, but no — it was merely the same eyes that had ever looked at him since the day you first met.

your eyes never showed anger, hatred, and especially, fear.

he caressed your cheek with his now calloused hand, in which you so lovingly nuzzled against, as he untied you.

“...let us return home, my dear.” he said with pure gentleness, one that no one had ever heard of. he softly placed a kiss on your forehead as he helped you stand, and walked towards the darkness of the forest.

perhaps, kindness is what saved desperate people in madness.

★ • ° ` — BONUS:

“but — muzan-” for the thirty-third time, you were cut off again.

“no buts. i am going if you are going. i am not letting you leave alone ever again, not after what happened a few weeks ago.” muzan simply crossed his arms stubbornly.

“but... i am fine, i swear. not only have i healed, but i have also put my guard up now!! really, really high.” you tried to convince him, but again, to no avail.

“you are too kind to put your guard up high. i just know the same thing would happen again, if they used different tactics. and that is why i am going with you.” you simply sighed as he started walking, leaving you standing there until you finally followed along.

your hands reached and intertwined with his, as he tightly gripped your hand, with of course, such care before continuing, “from now on, i will not lose sight of you. and no, that is not a request.”

firmly, you finally sighed in defeat and nodded.

perhaps, unkind and kind people could be together.

───────────── ☆ ─────────────

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mad-hunts · 4 months ago

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roleplay idea: barton's trying to say this BS that he's 'good at processing grief' when your muse was a witness to the absolute rage-filled and deranged rampage that barton went on after julien was killed by the joker in which he brutally hurt all but one of his henchmen (he killed the last one because he told him he was 'crazy' and that he 'better kill him, or he was going to tell his boss that barton had been there' and he literally just snapped, went 'you know what, i think i will kill you AND also let the joker know i killed you so he knows to never come near my family again' then killed him. like HUHHH?) at the time with your muse being like this

#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#ooc post.#yeahhh 💀 man i wish i was joking about this you all but he really did put like three men in the hospital and killed one of them so...#he is NOT good at processing grief at all SKSKS and yeah the fact that they chose to ally themselves with the joker probably does say-#something about their own character but i don't condone violence or murder so it's still wrong even if they were... terrible 🫠#no but barton was honestly looking for someone else to blame besides himself for julien's death so he basically went to all of these-#henchmen and grilled them + asked them all whether they knew anything about how the joker was planning to kill his son #anddd when they all answered him with a 'no' was when thing's uhhh. Got violent 😬 like just imagine being one of barton's kids-#and mourning the loss of your brother in a normal albeit sad way on your own but then barton comes back home covered in blood-#+ it's obviously not his... like i don't even know if i'd want to ask him what the hell he just did because while barton is in mourning-#or grieving you do NOT want to be near him if you are the one that caused the death in question because you will get your-#shit rocked let me tell you ☠️ like the only reason why barton didn't kill the joker himself is BC he knew that that would attract-#batman's ire like nothing else and he does NOT want that smoke as much as barton hates him LMAO but DC muses... just to let you know-#or really any type of muse that interacts with him but those who are close to him in particular i would not touch a hair on any of his #family members head unless you want to have someone after you + i swear i'm not saying that to be edgy or anything BC ever since i #first mentioned that barton is always this 🤏 close to going off of the deep end even more than he already is i was not joking at all ASDFGH #tw: mentions of violence #tw: mentions of murder #tw: mentions of child death

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otome-dissection · 2 days ago

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finished gaiden

#yakuza #guys can these games sotp making me cry i swear i'm not a fucking crier but also oguhfsgsflgererslt54etsgrhxdfjougjfdxboifgxjroedszf\gx]o[h #call me kiryu kazuma the way that i was shaking so hard trying not to cry for a solid like minute #kuroda's performance bro i'm actually just gonna kill myself brb #kiryu getting fucking. snot all over that fuckass tablet was so real by the way I too had to furiously wipe my nose after watching that #oh my goddddddddddddddddd #rnghsflghfdlfghdfhd #i can't. i can't bro. i just can't these games make me so miserable (<- enjoying it)#i cried again in the after credits when they showed kiryu at the church hE'S FUCKING OLDDDD FUCK !!!#HE NEVER GOT TO JUST. LIVE A NORMAL ASS LIFE !! HE NEVER GOT TO GO TO THE FUCKING CLUB (okay he did but ykwim)#HE NEVER GET TO HAVE A SIMPLE LOVE LIFE OR RAISE HIS FUCKING KIDS OR DO ANYTHING BUT BE NECK DEEP IN CONFLICT #AND NEAR DEATH SINCE HE WAS LIKE. A FUCKING TEENAGER #ALL HE GETS ARE LIKE. 2 SECONDS OF RESTS AND THEN THAT'S FUCKING IT !!!#like genuinely part of tthe reason i cried so hard after finishing that game/watching the cutscenes was because i was thinking of yakuza 3 #remember when you just got to take care of those fuckass kids and do silly stupid shit for them. yeah they're grown up and have jobs now #and they did it all without kiryu being there. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FU #AND NOW HE'S FUCKING OLDDDDDDDDDDDD AND HE STILL CAN'T HAVE ANY OF WHAT HE WANTS OR BE WITH WHO HE WANTS TO BE WITH #FUCK MEEEE DUDEEEEEEEE AUGHHHHHHHHHH #man. man i can't wait to play infinite wealth. i hope nothing makes me emotional in that game. please. ichiban save me. ichi bun...

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thal-ent · 30 days ago

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Thinking about Renheng...... Men that found each other and want each other back even when one doesn't know the other is who he Dreams of......

#thal talk #they make me ill and i'm so happy I made a friend of mine ship them too when i told her a bit their lore lmao #like can you imagine. being so close to someone you KNOW will die ages before you do. but it doesnt matter because you love them.#and they love you. and then your friend dies and you both try to ressucitate her. but it backfires and now your love is forced to live #forever and only remembering the pain and anger. and you get sentenced to a metaphorical death in having to be reborn. while he's getting #tortured and forced to see you himself and another friend as sinners. because you loved a Friend. and you get reborn. and you dont remember #that he was changed. or anything. they tell you you are a sinner. they cast you away from your land. and then a man comes and tries to kill #you and calls you a sinner. but in your dreams you see a gentle man who's arrogant and gave you the few things you have and you care about.#and 700 years pass. he chases you and no matter how far you go he finds you. and one day. he tells you how he wishes for death. and that he #doesn't hate you. and your friend kills him but he comes back. and you swear to him that you'll see him to his end. you still dont know he's #the kind and arrogant man of your dreams. you thought he was dead. only for his adoptive grandpa to tell you no. he's alive.#LIKE SHIT THAT'S ONE HELL OF A STORY #and i'm not even doing it justice because Blade WANTS reconciliation with DH and always had in a way #also like.... i'm so sad about Cloud Piercer in the last Amphoreus trailer WHAT DO YOU MEAN PHAINON BROKE IT ??? AND BLADE ISN'T EVEN ABLE #TO REPAIR IT ANYMORE OH I'M SICK #you shouldn't let me ramble about my ships fuejueejsjeu

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago

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y2 daigo dinner but make it healthy <- theres seltzer instead of booze <- this does not negate the heart attack in a can right next to it

#snap chats #fyi never make a post on tumblr mobile because it will never go through and you'll want to kill someone !!!!!!#anyway hi everyone :) back from nyc :) i have THE LAMEST stories to tell tomorrow but rn im giggling at my new kirbies #and the christmas gifts i got my bro but moving on Before Anyone Starts and i swear to god I Will Kill You if you say 'well actually'#i know daigo is more of a whiskey man and they dont put whiskey in a can but for the bit we will act like he drinks beer sometimes #i wanted to make jokes for a while abut daigo drinking liquid death to try and contol his binge drinking so let me have this #i already made jokes about daigo drinking monster. probably. maybe. definitely to someone at least.#i dont even like energy drinks but.... heh... guess you could say..... i was... drawn like a... moth to a flame... hehe..#butterflies and moths are cousins suck my gonads. anyway my fave moth is the luna moth and my fave butterfly is the dragonfly-tail butterfl #theyre so silly looking and the colors are so pretty......#highkey tho this post relevant to the times cause of that fuckin redbull post i made LOLOLOL #playable daigo but he drinks monster instead of tauriner oh god THERES TAURINE ON THE FUCKING CAN #shaking crying throwing up im so fucking smart #ok im gonna drink both of these now <3 because im a glutton <3 BYE

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darlingod · 7 months ago

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They both killed their husbands willingly but only one of them wanted their husband alive 💀💀 Duarte women tea

Jude one-upping Taryn

Taryn: marries one of cardan’s friends

Jude: marries cardan

Taryn: Becomes a Lady

Jude: Becomes a Queen

Taryn: stabs her husband

Jude: Beheads her husband

#Jude killed cardan AS A SNAKE and she was screaming crying immediately #Taryn was like yo so I did a bad thing and you’d be surprised its not the pregnant thing #Taryn wanted to kill Locke (devious but god damn there needs to be therapists for humans who grow up in faerie)#and Jude wanted to do ANYTHINGGGGG but kill Cardan #even from day one in tcp I swear Jude was worried how far they’d go because she didn’t want to have to kill anyone #“they” as in anyone who she thought would kill her #idgaf about Taryn but that’s so iconic (in this fantasy world) to kill ur husband because he’s not listening to you #Taryn:oh you won’t change for me? so you have chosen death #Eva Jude and Taryn were all willing to lose their man/let him go #in one way or another #but Vivi just avoided them at all costs #Vivi: you see what our father did right… like men are killers & women are happiness givers #queen shit as fuck

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creepyclothdoll · 3 months ago

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The Devil's Wheel

The Devil’s Wheel

“If you say yes,” said the Devil, “a single man, somewhere in the world, will be killed on the spot. But three million dollars is nothing to sneeze at, missus.”

“What’s the catch?” You squint at him suspiciously over the red-and-black striped carnival booth. You’re smarter than he thinks you are– a devil deal always has a catch, and you’re determined to catch him before he catches you.

“Well, the catch is that you’ll know you did it. And I’ll know, too. And the big man upstairs’ll know, I ‘spose. But what’s the chariot of salvation without a little sin to grease the wheels? You can repent from your mansion balcony, looking out at your waterfront views, sipping a bellini in your eighties. But hey, it’s up to you– take my deal or leave it.”

The Devil lights a cigar without a match, taking an inhale, and blowing out a cloud of deep, sweet-smelling tobacco laced faintly with something that reminds you of rotten eggs. If he does have horns, they’re hidden under his lemon yellow carnival barker hat. He wears a clean pinstripe suit and a red bowtie. No cloven hooves, no big pointy fork, but you know he’s the Devil without having to be told. Though he did introduce himself.

He’s been perfectly polite.

You know you need the money. He knows it too, or he wouldn’t have brought you here, to this strange dark room, whisking you away from your new house in the suburbs as fast as a wish. Now you’re in some sort of warehouse, where all the windows seem to be blacked out– or, maybe, they simply look out into pitch darkness, though it is the middle of the day. A single white spotlight shines down on the two of you.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” you say. “I bet the man is someone I know, right? My husband?”

“Could be,” the Devil says with a pointed grin. “That’s for the wheel to decide.”

He steps back and raises his black-gloved hand as the tarp flies off of the large veiled object behind him. The light of the carnival wheel nearly blinds you. Blinking lights line the sides. Jingling music blares over speakers you can’t see. The flickering sign above it reads:

THE DEVIL’S WHEEL

“Step right up and claim your fortune,” the Devil barks. “Spin the wheel and pay the price! Or leave now, and a man keeps his life.”

You examine the wheel.

The gambling addict

The doting boyfriend

The escaped convict

The dog dad

The secretive sadist

“These are all the possible men I can kill?” You ask, thumbing the side of the wheel. It rolls smoothly in your hand. Then you quickly stop, realizing that this might constitute a spin under the Devil’s rules. He flashes a smile at you, watching you halt its motion.

“Addicts, convicts, murderers– plenty of terrible options for you to land on, missus!”

“Serial wife murderer?”

“Now who would miss a fellow like that? I can guarantee that the whole world would be better off without him in it, and that’s a fact.”

The hard worker

The compulsive liar

The animal torturer

The widower

The desperate businessman

The failed musician

The beloved son

“My husband is on here too,” you say.

“Your husband Dave, yes. The wheel has to be fair, otherwise there’s simply no stakes.”

“I know what’s gonna happen,” you say, crossing your arms. “This wheel is rigged. I’m gonna spin it around, and it’ll go through all the killers and stuff, and then it’s gonna land on my husband no matter what.”

“Why, I would never disgrace the wheel that way,” the Devil says, wounded. “I swear on my own mother’s grave– may she never escape it. In fact, take one free spin, just to test it out! This one’s on me, no death, no dollars.”

You cautiously reach up to the top of the wheel and feel its heaviness in your hand. The weight of hundreds of lives. But also, millions of dollars. You pull the wheel down and let it go.

Clackity-clackity-clackity-clackity

Round and round it goes.

The college graduate

The hockey fan

The Eagle Scout

The cold older brother

The charming younger brother

The two-faced middle child

The perfectionist

The slob

Your husband Dave

Clackity-clackity-clackity.

Finally, the wheel lands on a name. A title, really.

The photographer

“Hmm, tough, missus, but that’s the way of the wheel. But hey, look! Your husband is allllll the way over here,” he points with his cane to the very bottom of the wheel, all the way on the other side from where the arrow landed. “As you can see, it’s not rigged. The wheel truly is random.”

“So… there really isn’t another catch?” You ask.

“Isn’t it enough for you to end a man’s life? You need a steeper price? If you’re really such a glutton for punishment, I’ll gladly re-negotiate the terms.”

“No, no… wait.” You examine the wheel, glancing between it and the Devil.

You really could use that three million dollars. Newly married, new house, you and your husband’s combined debt– those student loans really follow you around. He’s quite a bit older than you, and even he hasn’t paid them off yet, to the point where the whole time you were dating you watched him stress out about money. You had to have a small, budget wedding, and a small, budget honeymoon. Three million dollars could be big for the two of you. You could re-do your honeymoon and go somewhere nice, like Hawaii, instead of just taking two weeks in Atlantic City. You deserve it.

Even so, do you really want to kill an innocent photographer? Or an innocent seasonal allergy sufferer? Or an innocent blogger? Just because you don’t know or love these people doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t.

The cancer survivor

The bereaved

The applicant

Some of these were so vague. They could be anyone, honestly. Your neighbors, your father, your friends…

The newlywed

The ex-gifted kid

The uncle

The Badgers fan

“My husband is a Badgers fan,” you say.

“How lovely,” the Devil says.

Then it hits you.

Of course.

The weightlifter.

The careful driver.

The manager.

The claustrophobe.

Your husband Dave lifts weights at the gym twice a month. You wouldn’t call him a pro, but he does it. He also drives like he’s got a bowl of hot soup in his lap all the time, because he’s afraid of being pulled over. He just got promoted to management at his company, and he takes the stairs to his seventh-story office because he hates how small and cramped the elevator is.

“I get your game,” you announce. “You thought you could get me, but I figured you out, jackass!” “Oh really? What is my game, pray tell?” The Devil responds, leaning against his cane.

“All these different titles– they’re all just different ways to describe the same guy. My husband isn’t one notch on the wheel, he’s every notch. No matter what I land on, Dave dies. I’m wise to your tricks!”

The Devil cackles.

“You’re a clever one, that’s for sure. I thought you’d never figure it out.”

“Thanks but no thanks, man,” you say with a triumphant smirk. “I’m no rube. No deal. Take me back home.”

“As you wish, missus,” the Devil says. He snaps his fingers, and you’re gone, back to your brand-new house with your new husband. “Don’t say I never tried to help anyone.”

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velvetydream · 1 year ago

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꒰ :🥀 [ Till death do us part ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

Summary : What if Alastors dear little darling wife, his partner in crime, the person he thought he'd never see again, turns up with Mimzy on the day of the visit of the big boss of hell.

Pairing : Alastor x fem! Reader

Word count : 1899 Words

Genre : Fluff , Drama , Angst

Warnings ➵ Mentions of death, you're shorter than

Vaggie, possessive Alastor, swearing

Prequel -> > The radio star lost <

a/n : I love this trope ngl, tried to not make him to much out of character, hope it worked.. T T

Also I'm rather new to Hazbin Hotel, so I say sorry if anythings seems wrong or out of character! ><

┌───────────────────────── · · · · ♡

The whole hotel was a bit chaotic right now, Lucifer himself would be visiting in just a bit and Charlie wanted everything to be perfect. Colorful decorations were hanging everywhere, a banner was hung up for welcoming the king of hell, how does one even welcome the king of hell into their hotel? Charlie was probably the most stressed of all, but Vaggie did her best to calm her nervous wreck of a girlfriend down.

The moment Lucifer stepped into the hotel was meant to make everything go down, Alastor and his Ego had somehow always a snarky remark against Lucifer. Charlie tried her best to keep them apart, introducing her other friends, before she announced how she would be needing his help. And again the banter between the king of hell and the radio demon started all over again. As if throwing insults at each other before wasn't enough already, now they were pulling at Charlie left and right, like two babies fighting over a toy.

But all things come to an end, which Charlie was thankful for right now, as Mimzy, apparently a friend of Alastor, which was interesting to know he even had any, came barging in with a grand entrance. As the woman now settles down at the bar, talking with the others, Alastor and Charlie took Lucifer on a walk around, Husker disappearing for a second too, but soon joining them at the bar again, a scowl on his face, but something else, undescribable behind his eyes.

A bang was heard through the whole hotel as the entrance door was slammed open and heard could be an angry voice. "MIMZY! You little bitch!" A demon, a slight bit shorter than Vaggie probably, walked in. A scowl evident on the face, as her eyes scan over the place, before falling on the woman she was looking for. "How dare you leave me in the shit like that?! You've got it coming if those sharks don't kill you, I certainly will!" Ignoring the questioning looks of Angel and Husker, you stomp over to the blonde, ready to yank at her hair, when suddenly a bit of debris was thrown through the window and landed beside you, barely missing you by a hair. "The fuck?" The demon's head craned around, looking out the window and there they were, those fuckers Mimzy was in debt to.

You didn't really have time to react much, as three people stormed into the entrance hall, all you could catch was a glimpse of red before the person ran outside, screams of the sharks could be heard, at least those were finally taken care of.

The loan sharks were gone and fought off quickly by that person, his voice now directed to Mimzy, your own eyes on her yourself with a scowl. She and that red demon apparently knew each other quite well, as Mimzy was walking to the door, you finally really looked at the demon. He had short red and black hair, ears sat atop his head, despite scowling Mimzy he was smiling, though a sinister smile it seems. His attire was almost completely red too, a cane was clutched in his hands, as he watched Mimzy walk off, you could only make out a small part of his face. The man seemed so familiar as if you had known him for a long time.. Your heart was running a mile right now, it was getting hard to breathe, and then...

"Thank you Alastor, really.." The long-haired blonde spoke up.. That name, it couldn't be right? Mimzy would've told you, she knew him, she would've definitely told you.. right? You must be mistaken right now.. Your eyes were fixated on the man called Alastor, the voices and sounds around you were all a mush, drowned out as your brain was going all around. Now that you could see his face, he definitely had some resemblance to him.. to your late husband, who had died before you. You were his assistant, his partner in crime, when the news hit you that he was shot, it broke your heart, but still, you continued on alone, killing. That's probably what also got you to hell, well sooner than later you were figured out and soon arrived here in hell.

"Yo smiles, this girly is gawking at you for minutes now." Slowly voices were coming back to you, the white spider beside you talked, pointing his thumb at you, the red-haired now meeting your eyes, his ears straightening and standing alert like the ones of a deer caught in headlight. What irony if he was your Alastor, the irony of dooming him with deer-like features, after getting shot assumed for a deer while hiding one of the many bodies. That day you decided to let him go alone, oh if you just hadn't done that, maybe you both would be alive or you would've at least arrived together in hell.

Alastor was taking slow steps to you, the smile on his face looking strained, yet it never disappeared, his hand was reaching out for you but stopped. Eyes moving over your form, taking in everything. Resemblance to his wife evident, but.. how did he never notice you before? Had he ever met you, walked past, maybe even taken a second glance but dismissed this feeling he has right now.

Swiftly he grabs your wrist, dragging you behind him, ignoring the calls of his name of the other residents, his mind plagued by one only thought, more like one only person.. you.

Stumbling behind him, his grip rather firm on your wrist, yet it felt comforting as if you knew he would never hurt you. Not in your lifetime and also not now in your afterlife. Eyes watching the back of his head, you were wondering what expression his face harbors right now. Was he happy? Was he confused? Disappointed? Maybe he knew where you were all this time but didn't want to meet you. No, he wasn't like this. He may have been distant sometimes while alive, but in the end, he was always a darling to you. Taking care of you, just as he vowed on your wedding day. A distant memory, yet one of the most beautiful ones you have.

A door was opened and as you were pulled inside, the door closed. Steps echoed through the room, you noticed a forest on the other side of the room, but that didn't rather faze you, eyes on him again.. and him only. "Al-" You were interrupted by laughter, the man before you was hugging himself, his arms around him, yet you still weren't able to see his face. "D-Do you know.. How often have I thought about you?!" His voice was loud, a static sound like from a radio accompanied it. One of his hands was tearing at his hair now. "That bitch never told me... I'll make sure to kill her for that.. She kept you from me.." The laughter got even louder, as if the man before you was going insane.

This behavior was nothing new to you, he used to be like this, high on adrenalin when another murder was successful.. Or when he was close to being figured out by the police and detectives, yet he always slipped away right through their incapable fingers.

"I always wondered what happened to you, if you grew old with someone new.." If you were able to see his face right now, you would be able to see the sinister yet possessive smile on his face, his eyes darting around the room.

This all ended in a second when he felt a soft hand on his. He knew this hand, he also knew the person it belonged to like the front of his pocket. "I would never, I carried on alone in your memories, yet I was never as skilled as you darling, so sooner than later they connected all the dots to me." A low chuckle could be heard again, the static radio sound calmed down again too. The tall man slowly turned around now, his hand engulfing your own, his fingers softly running over your own, before he linked them together. How he had missed this feeling, despite having a distaste for people touching him, you were different. Your touch felt warm, like the summer sun kissing his skin, it felt comforting.

"I've missed you mon amour.." His voice was soft, probably the softest it had ever been since he had arrived in hell. His hand guides yours up to his lips, as he closes his eyes and presses a soft kiss to the back of your hand, a smile, now softer, on his lips. He was never one for kissing you on the lips, he definitely favored kissing your hand, like the gentleman he has always been. "I figured with how you were talking seconds ago my dear.." A soft smile was creeping up onto your lips too, mirroring his own one. Red eyes open again, your hand still pressed to his face, but now he was rather holding your hand to his cheek. "Oh how I wished I could've stayed with you my darling, we would've been so successful.." Giggling at his words, with him at your side, you probably would have been going for a long time. "But who says we can't be successful now?" A smirk etched its way onto your husband's face, oh how he loved your daring little mind, always thirsting for blood. With you by his side again now, he would definitely be able to get everything done that he wanted.

"Shall we go back? I want to meet your friends properly." Wanting to pull away your hand, he softly gives you a tug, your head landing on his chest now. Wide eyes look the the side now, as you weren't really able to move, his arms having snaked around you and his chin resting on your head. This was unusual much physical contact, but figured that you hadn't seen each other for multiple decades he yearned for your touch just a slight bit. Your arms lying around him, embracing the hug. "Let's just stay here a few minutes more, we got enough time to introduce you to everyone down there but for now.. let me have you for myself." Nodding softly, your head rests on his chest, as your eyes close and you simply enjoy the presence of your dearly beloved husband.

"What do you mean 'married to smiles'?!" Angel, as he was introduced to you, shouted from his place on the couch now, staring at you flabbergasted. "We've been married for quite a few years before his death." Smiling you answered his question. Alastor didn't like all the attention you were getting, but sooner than later he would have you all to himself again when you two go back to his cozy hotel room or the radio tower. "So you two fu-" Angel wasn't even able to finish his question before he shut himself up as he noticed the look on Alastors face. This time he would've been dead for sure if he finished that question.

Overall everyone invited you happily into their little hotel family, it was amazing. Charlie immediately took a liking to you and if you're being honest she quickly was viewed by you like a daughter.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #alastor x you #alastor imagine #alastor #alastor x reader #x you #x reader #imagine #imagines #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin imagine

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laufeysvalentine · 29 days ago

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i want you.

remus lupin x fem!reader | masterlist

summary ༄ remus x best friend!reader -- or in which you're in love with your best friend, but he's not exactly in love with you back... angst

word count ༄ 3.2k

nora’s notes ༄ eeek my first writing post!! i'm so excited. this is kind of bad but IDC part two will be coming and i swear will be better written okay enjoy!! mwah 💘

“moony!” you sing-song as you twirl into his dorm, lips spread into a wide grin. “we’re leaving for hogsmeade, hurry up.”

he’s on his bed, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose as he glances up from his book, suppressing a smile when he sees you. “hi, y/n.”

he embodies the word comfort, you think. he’s wearing one of his trademark warm wool sweaters, an empty mug of tea by his knee, gray blanket draped across his lap, and that smile. it would be the death of you, you were sure of it.

“hi,” you respond, clasping his book and setting it onto his bedside table. “c’mon, everyone’s waiting for us downstairs.”

he sighs so deeply you think he might crack a lung, and loops his pointer finger through one of the belt loops of your jeans to pull you onto his bed. “do we have to?”

as much as you’d like to stay here with him, you also want to buy more chocolate frogs, so you spring back up, tugging at his hand. “yes, please. i’m low on my candy stock.”

he groans, letting you pull him off of his bed and out of the dorm. “your sweet tooth is killing me.”

you shrug. “that’s what you signed up for when you said yes to being friends in first year. now you’re just living with it.”

he just hums in agreement, letting you wrap your arm around his. remus lupin, your best friend. he’s the kindest man you’ve ever met, let alone known. it would be a lie to say you weren’t completely and utterly in love with him, and even more of a lie to say you hadn’t been since before you were a teenager, even if you didn’t understand it then. but, alas, as soon as you’d admitted it to yourself, you also resolved to never, ever tell him. you were sure he didn’t feel the same about you, and why would you carelessly toss away the best friendship and most understanding person ever just for some feelings?

and so, you waited and hoped, prayed that it would go away. you would move on and keep your friendship.

and, of course, you didn’t.

“y/n!” james calls once he sees the two of you walking down the stairs to where the rest of the marauders are waiting. “finally.”

“we sent you up like ten minutes ago,” peter complains, frowning.

you shrug. “oops.”

remus shifts his arm to settle around your waist, nudging you in front of him. “well, we’re here now, so get a move on.”

you thread the hand he placed on your stomach with your own, thumb rubbing circles onto his. he smiles down on you, and that smile, oh, lord. you could see it a million times and never have enough. you’d jump over bridges to have him watch you like that all the time. you’d sell your soul to be his, really and truly. and the worst part is, you have no shame about it. merlin, you’re in love.

—

jelly beans or chocolate frogs, that is the question. you glance at one, then the other, then the other again. your shoulders slump. it’s too hard of a decision. you’re about to cave and get both when you feel warm arms wrap around your waist, a chin settling onto your shoulder. without looking, you press a kiss to remus’ cheek. “hi.”

“hi,” he replies, inhaling your scent, nose tucked between your ear and your hair.

“chocolate frogs or jelly beans?” you ask anxiously, holding up the two in front of you. “or both?”

“both,” he agrees with you, and you can feel the tension slowly leaving him as he stands behind you, entwined with you.

you nod, happy with his judgment, about to speak when someone beats you to it.

“remus?” a voice yells from behind, excitement coloring her tone.

you know who this is without looking too, but you wish you didn’t. remus slowly stands back to his whole height, and the sudden absence of his warmth makes you shiver. you turn just as he does, even if you don’t want to see the girl beaming at him.

you know her, of course you do. doesn’t everyone know celeste huxley, the most beautiful hufflepuff to grace hogwarts’ campus? angels sing when she walks past, men and women fall to her feet in her wake. she’s worshiped, adored. okay, you’re being dramatic, but still.

you hate her.

you hate her silky hair, her evergreen smile, her cesspool of kindness.

and you hate yourself more for hating her. she’s never been mean to you a day in her life, she couldn’t be mean to anyone even if she tried. but still. she’s who you’ve tried to be your whole life. she is the blueprint, the model with cherry-red high heels you wobble and blister your feet in. she has all Os on her OWLs, victoria’s secret hair, people who love on her like a celebrity. and she’s fucking obsessed with your best friend, of course. she could have anyone in the world, and she picked him. why couldn’t she love sirius or james, like half the girls at the school? why did she have to want remus?

and the worst part is, she deserves him. he deserves someone as perfect as he is, even if that’s celeste.

as you swallow down your hatred, you realize she’s started to pull remus away from you, pulling on his sleeve towards the jelly slugs, and you almost lob your stupid chocolate frog at her head. tears sting your eyes and you try your best to blink them back as you watch remus watch you, only half-listening to her blabber. he knows you hate her, and the most sheepish, guilty look comes over his face. you ignore him, putting your candy back, too upset to think about eating it. luckily, you spot sirius in the corner and quickly try to make your way over him when you’re pulled back.

remus has got ahold of your belt loops again, and you watch him whisper something to celeste before gently removing her hand from his sweater and pulling away. he chose you now, but for how long? the thought chills you, goosebumps prickling your skin, your heart.

“dove,” he says quietly by your ear. “what happened to your candy?”

“didn’t want it,” you mumble, walking towards sirius.

“why not?” he’s dancing around the topic, and both of you know it.

“not hungry.”

“i’m sorry.”

“s’not your fault,” you say. you’re not mad at him, you could never really be mad at him, but you’re upset nonetheless. you push away towards the black-haired boy perusing the shelves. “siri, you done?”

you link arms with your other friend, leading him out of honeyduke’s, leaving remus trailing behind.

—

“hi dove.” a voice, and its accompanying owner, peeks out from the doorway into your dorm. “may i come in?”

“hi rem,” you say in response, beckoning him in, putting your book to the side to let him crawl onto you. “can’t you always?”

his shoulders sag slightly, slumping into your bed as soon as he reaches it. his head is in your lap, and he closes his eyes once you begin to massage his scalp with your fingers, pressing a kiss to your exposed hipbone next to him.

you don’t say anything, you just let the silence dance between the two of you.

he’s so pretty. you brush some of his sandy strands out of his face to let yourself just admire him. the towering giant and all his gentleness. your fingers trace the outlines of his face, the scars that decorate it, all the way down to his right pinky, where he has the cutest tattoo.

i love you is all you want to say. the words pulse at your throat, begging you to let them free. but you can’t. you can’t lose him. anyone else, sure, you would do it. but not him. not remus, your remus.

when he wakes, groggy but grounded, you have a hot cup of tea ready by your bed, ready for his consumption. you hand it to him as soon as he’s fully awake, pulling himself off of you to accept the mug. “i don’t deserve you, dovie.”

“don’t say stuff like that, rem. if anything, you deserve better.” you press a kiss to his cheek, smiling.

“there’s nobody and nothing better than you,” he promises, hand landing on your lower thigh to massage it gently. you smile, letting the quiet linger between the two of you a little longer before speaking up.

“you wanna talk about it?” you ask, watching him sip his tea.

he gives you the most adoring smile, and you want to put it in a box and lock it up and keep it forever. “just tired.”

“okay,” you say, searching his face to verify what he’s saying. “you can always talk to me, you know.”

“thank you.” remus is always sincere, it’s one of the things you love about him, but he seems especially sincere now. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, y/n.”

“and you are to me,” you whisper, eyes dipping to his plush pink lips. you want to kiss him so badly right now, but you know he just means it like a friend, as much as you wish it wouldn’t.

swallowing, you wipe those ideas away, choosing to rest your head against his fleece sweater-covered shoulder. he drops a kiss onto the top of your head, and you sigh in contentment. this is why you refuse to tell him you love him. you couldn’t live without these moments.

“there’s a party tonight at nine-ish,” he says softly. his thumb is rubbing circles on your knee. “sirius is dragging me along. will you come?”

you contemplate it only briefly. “i’m tired, rem. you should go, though.”

“i’ll stay back with you,” he decides with resolution. your heart melts, it’s sweet of him to want to stay with you, but you want him to have fun. plus, you can feel in how his body coiled with excitement when he talked about it–he wants to go.

“no, go.” you glare playfully at him. “i won’t forgive you if you don’t.”

“i’ll stay with you,” he repeats, staring right back at you. “it’s just a party. i’d stay with you forever, you know? you’re my favorite person.”

“i’ll be mad at you if you don’t go, i swear to merlin,” you egg him on, heart melting.

“no.” he’s too stubborn for his good.

“i want to be alone,” you lie. you know he wants to go and you refuse to hold him back. “i might come later on, just not at nine. i’ll be there at ten, maybe.”

“and i’ll wait for you,” he promises.

“please, remus.” you put on your saddest tone, gaze up at him pleadingly. “i just need some alone time.”

“you want to be alone?” he asks cautiously, searching for any hint you may be lying.

“yes.” you cross your toes, tucked under your quads.

he’s hesitating, and as if in perfect timing, a knock sounds at your door before a familiar head of black hair peeks through.

“moony, let’s go. leave poor y/n alone.” sirius clicks his tongue.

you push remus’ shoulder lightly, gesturing for him to go. he casts one long look at your face, as if memorizing every ridge.

“she’s not going to change while we’re gone, get a move on,” sirius groans from the door. you nod at the statement, and remus concedes.

“i’ll be here the whole time,” you promise.

“call me if you get lonely.” he makes you swear before reluctantly getting up. you kiss his hand to send him off.

you were lying when you said you would join him at nine. five minutes after he’s out the door, you’re fast asleep under the covers, the ghost of his touch comforting you.

—

as soon as your eyes open, you let out a sound of disappointment. you can tell you haven’t slept through the night, as none of your roommates are in their beds, and they always sleep in. the clock reads that it’s only a bit before eight forty five, and you roll over in your bed. you know you won’t be able to fall back asleep, but you try anyway, until the door slams and your eyes fly open.

it’s lily, face flushed with the cold and excitement. the second she sees you kissed by sleep, she covers her mouth. “sorry, y/n! were you sleeping?”

you wave her off. “no, i was already awake. what’s up?”

“james is going to be at the party tonight. will you come? please, please, please? i don’t want to go alone with him,” she begs. “please.”

you weigh your options: if you stay here, you’ll just lay in bed, not sleeping. you might as well go with her, you’ll see remus there too.

“okay,” you agree, and she practically drags you out of bed, she’s so happy.

—

even though lily’s the one who dragged you here to keep her away from james, she’s off with him in a corner within ten minutes of you getting there, leaving you in a sea of other people, alone. of course, you know most of your housemates that are stuffed into this crowded common room, but you don’t know any particular one of them enough to properly go up to and chat. you sit awkwardly on a couch for a few minutes, next to couples making out, before finally just giving up and getting ready to leave.

you saw sirius going into a bedroom with someone, so he’s out of the picture, peter’s smoking in the corner with some ravenclaws you have no interest in speaking with, james is alone with lily, and he’d kill you if you interrupted them, and you have absolutely no clue where remus is.

whatever. you walk towards the door to the girls’ dormitories, stumbling over students on the way, when you just barely catch a glimpse of sandy hair outside on a balcony. you’d know it anywhere–that’s remus. you scramble towards him, eager to see a friendly face, hand cracking the door open, when just as quickly as it came, the excitement dies in your throat.

because just behind remus is a girl you hate to see. celeste, hair floating behind her. if you blink hard enough, you see a breeze wafting through her hair as her fingers knot around remus’–your remus–neck. his hands are on the small curve of her waist, and he’s pushing her against the railing and, oh god–they’re kissing.

you let out a thick gasp and your hand slaps over your mouth. you turn and flee. they probably heard you, but they can’t maneuver through the crowd like you can. within seconds, you’re sure you’ve lost any trace of them, darting through people as you sprint outside to the outside of the castle. sure it’s past curfew, but you can’t bring yourself to care.

no one will see you now.

he’s supposed to be yours. he was yours, he was yours in more than just a best friend. those nights when he fell asleep in your bed, having you wrap your arms around him for warmth, he was yours. when you always visited him post-full moon in the apothecary, and as much as he wishes to push you away, you never let him, he was yours then. when he lets you in, truly and fully, and lets himself cry against you, letting you take care of him for once. you’re the only person he’s ever let himself cry in front of.

and even though you’d deny it a million times, and you did, to sirius, to james, you’ve always hoped that he liked you back. deep down, in the parts of your soul you only ever showed to him. he didn’t have to love you, even. just like, that would be enough. anything would.

but that was too much for him, clearly.

you’re crying. tears, fat and hot, soaking the skin on your cheeks. head in your hands, letting your open palms pool the salty water. you feel nothing but yourself and the wind against the cold of the stone steps, whipping your hair around.

“dove.”

you squeeze your eyes shut, hoping you’re hallucinating, praying the voice you just heard wasn’t real. you couldn’t see him right now. that would be humiliating.

“y/n?”

you crack your eye open when you hear the same voice, trying to swallow your sobs back and failing as they manifest into ugly hiccups. you’re not hallucinating. merlin damn it.

in front of you, peering up at your blotchy face, is remus lupin, your best friend. the man who’s not yours.

he’s on the step below you, but one hand snakes its way onto your knee, soothing your skin with his slender thumb, the other finding your hand to intertwine your fingers. fuck, his touch both makes you lean into him and want to throw up at the same time. his eyes are chock-full of compassion, and god, you hate it. “what’s wrong?”

his words send you blubbering into tears again, rubbing at your eyes as something splits open in your chest. “n-nothing.”

“something’s wrong, love. let me help you. let me in,” he pleads in the softest tone, and you have to fight to not give in, to wrap your arms around him and never let go. remember celeste, remember that terrible sight of his lips on hers.

“remus, leave me alone.” you’re shaking, but somewhere inside you, you find your resolve. you stand, pulling away from him, and make to run back inside the castle, but his long legs catch up to you easily, arm shooting around your waist when your knees buckle and you collapse onto the floor in sobs.

“y/n, you’re scaring me,” he says, panic accumulating in his voice. “please tell me what’s wrong and i’ll fix it, i promise. please, baby. it’s killing me hear you cry.”

you’re so close to the doors, you can see them. you stand again. “you don’t get to say that.”

“what?” his arm’s still around your shoulder and you shove it off.

“stop it! you’re so mean, remus. you don’t get to call me dove and call me baby and say stupid things like how there’s nobody better than me and i’m your favorite person and then go off and kiss other girls,” you spit out on the verge of hyperventilating. you don’t even know what you’re saying anymore. it’s just coming out, spewing out of your mouth like the vomit that’s sure to follow. but even as each word shocks you, you know they ring true. “i hate you for it. i hate you for leading me on for years when i’ve loved you since we were kids! you’re terrible, remus. i hate you.”

he’s absolutely stunned trying to process your words, and you use the momentary distraction to race back into the school, gunning for your dorm and locking it once you’re inside. the image of celeste and remus plays through your mind all night, so much that you can barely even think about how you confessed your love to him.

masterlist | next part

tags @lydiasfalling @dancingwithourhandsuntied

#nora's scribbles ᝰ.ᐟ #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus x reader #remus lupin angst #marauders #the marauders #x reader #harry potter #hp #marauders x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin fic #laufeysvalentine #I LOVE U!

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