#this man has me on a chokehold since I was way to young

[biihanka]

The things I want to say about Matthew playing William it's just borderline disrespectful! He would be disappointed about all the dirty and nasty things I'm thinking, but like siR?!??🥺😭

[martiniblues]

CUPIDS CHOKEHOLD , spencer reid

pairing boyfriend!spencer x fem!reader

synopsis you decide to visit spencer during his lunch break. unbeknownst to you, the team has been waiting for your arrival since they found out about you and spencer’s relationship.

genre fluff, reader is described with a cheugy/funky kind of style, and just overall teasing from the team lol.

standing in the mirrored elevator, you took in your appearance one last time. your patterned tights, babydoll dress, denim jacket, and colorful accessories were nothing out of the ordinary for you.  you took pride in your sense of fashion, not caring how others perceived you. 

spencer made it known to you almost daily how much he adored the way you styled yourself. your whimsical and girly attire added the perfect contrast to his “grandpa attire” as you liked to call it. 

returning your tube of lipgloss to its desired spot, you heard the faint ding of the elevator, alerting you of your arrival. you took a deep breath before walking up to the secretary at the counter. the building was sleek and shiny, only emphasizing your appearance. 

the brunette welcomed you, asking for your id before you heard your name being called by an all too familiar voice. “she’s with me; actually, no need to call in or anything.” spencer grabbed the visitors badge and clipped it to the pocket of your jacket before looking at you. 

“hey spence,” you giggled, adjusting his glasses that had gone askew from his evident rush to get to you. he blushed as you slid your hand to the side of his neck, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek softly. 

he grabbed your hand and led you into what you deemed to be the “bullpen” spencer had mentioned to you before. your boots clicked on the ground, muffled by the sounds of the bau. 

many workers turned and looked, unfamiliar with your presence and even more shocked that you were with spencer. he looked at you, noticing your wondering eyes. “it’s a little hectic right now, sorry.” he pulled you into his cubicle, already having a chair ready for you. 

“its actually really cool seeing this place for the first time. it really is like the tv shows.” he almost laughed at your childlike awe, reaching over to roll your chair closer to his own. satisfied with your positioning, spencer moved a few folders and notebooks from his desk to make room for your shared food. 

you could only get one bite in before a presence appeared behind you. “you invited mrs. genius here, and you didn’t tell anyone?” two hands came to grab spencer by his shoulders, causing him to jump slightly. 

the man smiled at you with possibly the whitest teeth you had ever seen. his broad shoulders, stature, and dark skin made him almost god-like. “morgan-“ spencer began before another head peaked around him.

“the woman, the myth, the legend!” the shorter blonde woman gasped, walking over to you. spinning your chair so that you were facing her entirely, her eyes lit up. “you are literally the cutest thing i have ever seen. boy wonder, why haven’t you brought her in sooner?” the nickname made you laugh, looking at spencer to see the embarrassed look on his face. 

“morgan and garcia, back off before you scare the poor girl away.” a dark-haired woman leaned against the desk behind you. soon after, another blonde and two older men crowed around you. 

they waited eagerly as spencer introduced you, looking between you two as if this were the best thing they had ever seen. “it’s nice to meet you all. spence has told me so much about you guys.” you rose from your seat, shaking their hands so as not to come off as unprofessional in such a serious building. 

even if it contradicted their previous actions…

“she even has a nickname for him, oh derek hold me before i pass out from the beauty of young love.” penelope held her hand to her heart, leaning into the man beside her as he rolled his eyes from her antics. 

“she was nearly this dramatic when she noticed the picture spencer put up of you on his desk.” rossi pointed at the item you had failed to notice as you arrived. 

tucked beside his computer, a small black and white photobooth strip stared back at you. memories of the early bits of your relationship flooded your mind.

you smiled lightly at the last panel, remembering how nervous you had been to kiss spencer on camera. he looked up at you, mirroring your expression.

the team continued to interrogate you, asking about where the two of you met, your first date, who asked out who first, almost as if they were profiling you. 

spencer sighed at the realization, clearly annoyed at your alone time being interrupted. you noticed, sitting back down beside him and looking at him to reassure him that you were fine. 

“glad to see she really likes him and wasn’t paid.” emily nodded towards spencer’s cheek. a light pink kiss mark adorned his skin, making the rest of the team snicker before he wiped it off with the back of his hand. 

“are you guys trying to scare her away?” spencer whined, feeling like a boy introducing his first girlfriend to his embarrassing family. 

“come on, reid, we’re only messing with you.” jj perched her hand on her hip, smiling at you warmly. “we’ll let you guys be for now, but don’t leave too soon. we have to give her a tour!” penelope insisted, turning to the group as they all shook their heads in agreement. 

“that’d be nice, thank you.” you replied before turning back to your boyfriend. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” spencer mumbled, leaning into your side.

you ruffled his hair, “i see why you talk about them so much. they clearly care about you a lot.” you looked over your shoulder, catching them spying from one of the conference rooms. 

smirking you turned back to spencer, kissing his cheek once more before you continued to eat and talk about what you’d plan to do after he got off work. 

after you finished your mostly uninterrupted lunch, you were swept away by penelope as she gave you your promised tour. showing you everyone’s office, the break room, multiple conference rooms, and even the dingy locker room in the very back.

after one tight hug from morgan, a promise for a girls night from penelope, some teasing from jj and emily, and more typical goodbyes from hotch and rossi, you were finally walking back to your car.

you expected spencer to just walk you back to the elevator, but your face quickly lit up when he stepped inside, pulling you flush against him and pressing a button to make the doors close.

“finally have you alone.” he mumbled before crashing his lips to yours. you gasped at his sudden boldness, highly due to the lack of curious eyes, and moved your hands to rest behind his neck.

his hands went under your jacket, yearning to be close to you but having enough sense to not pull anything too risky. “i’ve been wanting to do that since you’ve got here.” he pulled away shortly before the ding of the elevator announced your arrival.

you just grabbed his hand and pulled him along side you. “they were really sweet, spence. i’m happy you work with people that are so much like a family.” as you made it to your car you turned around, your back leaning against your trunk as spencer came to stand in-front of you.

“they’re nosey like one, for sure.” he joked, bringing his hand to rest on your hip once again. you sighed before reaching up to kiss him one last time. “i’ll see you tonight.” you promised, squeezing his hand before it left yours in his return to work.

before you got in your car, you turned around looking up to see six familiar faces looking right back at you.

just something i thought of off a whim because i saw an edit of the bau to 400 lux by lorde and got SOOOOO emotional. like thats my family fr!!!! hope you enjoyed<333

[lurkingshan]

Random QL Superlatives: 2024 Edition

My friends! It is time once again to reflect back on the year and give out some random ass awards to the things that gave me joy in the many QLs I watched.

In no particular order, this year’s winners:

Best Long Term Glow Up: Off Jumpol as Jane in The Trainee

I've been simping for Jumpol since the Puppy Honey days, because I know potential when I see it! This year the rest of y'all finally caught up with me and realized this man is aging like a fine wine. We all won!

Most Valuable Prop: Aoyanagi Hajime Standee, I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama

Will anything ever make me laugh as hard as Akafuji opening the door to Aoyanagi Hajime while holding an Aoyanagi Hajime standee and then running for his life, standee tucked under his arm, to escape the mortification? If so, it's def another joke from this show.

Best Heart Destroying Angst: Every Moment of Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

Sometimes you just want a show to break your heart into a million tiny pieces and then stitch it back together, and there is no better version of that experience this year than this beautiful show.

Wackiest Premise That Somehow Works: Caged Again

Whomst could have predicted that a BL about a penguin who turns into a human, goes to high school, and falls in love with a panther would be one of the sweetest, most compelling stories of the year.

Most Precious Bean: Taishin, Takara's Treasure

Just look at his cute little face!! My son has never done anything wrong in his life. He's adorable and I won't hear a word against him.

Drama Child of the Year: Young San, Century of Love

My soul fully tried to leave my body every time this child appeared on screen. I must congratulate this child actor--his name is Chayanan Akkharadumrongdet--on perfectly embodying the spirit of an old man trapped in a tiny body. Give this boy an award!

Best Love Theme: Di Inakala by Paul Pablo, Marahuyo Project

Such a gorgeous song, first used while King reads Ino's letter and realizes Ino has feelings for him. Hits me right in the chest every time I hear it.

Best Sex Scene - Almond and Latte's first time, Knock Knock Boys

Everyone else can throw in the towel, this is the best depiction of a loving but awkward first time that will ever be committed to film.

Star of My Vision Board: Yako, She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat

Oprah said it best: “She is the mother I never had, she is the sister everybody would want. She is the friend that everybody deserves. I don't know a better person.”

Outstanding Achievement in Old Man Yaoi: Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

It's not every day that a show manages to sell you on a 20+ year age gap, but this one did it without breaking a sweat and had us all rooting for Ishida to eat that old man up with a spoon.

Best Sight Gag: Rock Lifting Karan Over His Shoulder, Cherry Magic Thailand

Is it the way Rock bends down and grabs him with no warning? The way Karan still does a polite wai over his shoulder? The way Dujdao scurries after them? Idk but it's been 10 months and I am still laughing.

Best Absolute Mindfuck: Love for Love's Sake

Sometimes a scene from this drama will flash through my mind and I'll have to spend a few minutes just staring at the wall, and that's how you know it was damn good.

Most Brainrot Inducing: Unknown

The way this story had a chokehold on my brain for three entire months was no joke.

Swooniest Love Interest: Mahasamut, Love Sea

Just look at this glorious man! And on top of all that visual splendor, he's kind and generous and brave and smart and competent and high key a smart ass. In this house we love Mahasamut!

Best Classic Watch: The Miracle of Teddy Bear

The most delightfully surprising watch of the year for me, and a great reminder to never, ever trust anything MDL commenters say about a show.

Y'all know the drill: feel free to join in and post your own superlatives, and please tag me if you do!

[fandomscombine]

Maybe This Time

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

BG: Aaron Hotchner has been a constant in your life since university and as you both journey in your prosecutor career. But what happens when he has been given the opportunity of his dreams to be part of the BAU on the other side of the country? How will your dynamic change? Especially when feelings are put into the mix. 

Fluff part for now, before the angst. Enjoy the build up, young Hotch and obliviousness to feelings.

A/N: First ever Aaron Hotchner fic since something clicked in my brain and this man has me in a chokehold. Okay when I started writing this, I was at the beginning of Season 4 of Criminal Minds after a year long hiatus (aka didn’t have Disney+), so please excuse if it’s a bit out of character and that it doesn’t align with canon. No Haley and Jack. Let me know what you think!

Inspired by the song Maybe This Time by Sarah G and a line from Ugly Betty lol.

WC: 1428

>>>GENERAL MASTERLIST<<<

>>>CRIMINAL MINDS MASTERLIST<<<

The problem with having a constant is that you don’t realize how much it means to you until something threatens it to change it. 

You’re coming up to two years working at the prosecutor’s office, the feeling of helping people and solving cases is what fuels you. Though you admit, there are days where this isn’t enough to block out the misogynistic atmosphere of the office. In all honesty, you don’t think you would have lasted as long in such an environment if it weren’t for Aaron Hotchner.

What started as an academic rivalry turned into being inseparable. Nerds with an overwhelming drive to fix the world. It was actually Aaron who offered the olive branch - admitting that while the constant competition and pettiness helped him be the best self on paper, was straining his mental and physical well-being. Turns out you both have a lot in common - same taste in literature and surprisingly dead-pan humor. The man’s ability to drop unexpected one-liners is beyond you, only to be topped by his laugh albeit rare. 

A genuine Aaron Hotchner chuckle easily fills an entire room as if you’re floating on a cloud - a laugh that is quite the opposite to what he just left out.

“What?” 

“Yes! Can you believe it?” Aaron exclaims, releasing his hold on your shoulders. “There’s an opening at the Behavioural Analysis Unit - nothing permanent yet but they’re looking into a pool for the perfect candidate and I’ve been shortlisted!” 

~

The training program at the BAU lasted 3 months and in that span, the excitement during the first few weeks had you and Aaron in constant communication despite him being across the country in Quantico. But as the weeks went on, the calls dwindled until there were none at all.

You were proud of your best friend, you truly are - having found an advancement in his career. Though you can’t shake off the empty feeling in your chest. You catch your mind often thinking about him lately - more than a friend should.

What is happening to you?

Aaron has been more than grateful to have this opportunity. Working under the mentorship of the BAU founders, Aaron knew coming in that the cases would be grueling. He's barely gotten a good 8 hours of sleep since he’s arrived but the nightly calls with you updating about his day was the only thing keeping him on powering through, channeling back to your school rival days. Well, at least then he would get to see your face daily - now all he has is the photo he has in his wallet.

“Suck it, Hotchner! Bow down to your superior!” 

“Never!”

“Says the Magna Cum Laude to the Summa Cum Laude. Face it - it’s in writing for the world to see!” You teased, it was always a blast to have Aaron red.  There was no way you were gonna let this down and Aaron knew that - charging at you before you could finish.

“Y/N L/N is smarter than Aaron Hotch-NERRRRRRRR!” Aaron picking you up and spinning caught you by surprise - hands instinctively looping around his neck. 

Neither of you notice the clicking of a camera, too enclosed in your own little world. 

“You’re one lucky man.” The comment breaks Aaron from his trance. 

“Sir?”

“Your girlfriend, I notice you step out and look at it whenever you’re stressed” Rossi says matter of factly, patting Aaron’s shoulder. One doesn’t have to be a profiler to notice that yearning on Aaron’s face. “You know the job takes a toll on everyone and it’s rare to see the lightness after a while.”

Aaron didn’t know how to react, his stare continued even after his boss had left. Girlfriend. His brain had momentarily stopped working when he heard of the word. Someone had thought you were his girlfriend - he didn’t correct them, and it felt good. 

~

Ever since Rossi’s comment, Aaron has been teetering back and forth about his recent discovery about himself. Because that’s the thing about you being a constant in his life, he had grouped his feelings for you and categorized them under ‘best friend’, effectively blinding himself from the evolution of his feelings. 

How can he be a good profiler when he can’t even read his own emotions? Does she even feel the same way? 

But that’s not even the biggest elephant in the room.

“Congratulations!” Hugging him tightly, your next words are muffled by his chest. “I know you've wanted this for so long.” Tilting your head up to meet his eyes, “I’m so proud of you.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten it if you didn’t push me in sending my application.” Aaron’s hold on your waist tightens, not wanting to let you an inch away from him. Aaron has just gotten back from a 6-hour flight from Quantico, his body begging for rest but his heart aching for your presence. 

The longing of months apart running through his brain and the next thing he knows, his feet have taken him to your apartment at 2 in the morning instead.

“Aaron?” you called, breaking him from his trance. “What’s on your mind?”

Aaron could help but chuckle. Of course even when he showed up unannounced and woke you up in the dead of night. Your first concern was about him.

Coming from a strict family and being the oldest, having someone worry about him was uncommon. So when these moments arrive, it hits him with full force.

“Nothing…” He exhales, tucking the stray hairs behind your ear. Aaron hopes you don’t feel how shaky his hands are as he does so. 

You raise your brows at him.  Aaron might be a man of few words, but you’ve known him long enough to know when he is holding back.

He sighs, the room is quiet and any wrong move would break the balance. Aaron cups your cheek, glancing from your lips to your eyes. He steels himself to lay his discovery out in the open. “It’s just…you’re so captivatingly beautiful.”

Your eyes widen. Is he saying what you think he’s saying? Aaron has called you pretty in the past, but there was an air of playfulness then compared to this whispered statement.

With the tension increasing ten-fold with each word. “These past few months, I was working at my dream job yet I couldn’t feel the best because you weren’t by my side.  Each night I looked forward to hearing your voice, whether it’s about how your day went or what you thought about the latest movie. And it killed me inside when the calls stopped…”

Aaron gulped, pausing to blink back tears that threaten to fall. 

Reaching up to grab his hand, you placed a kiss on his palm. Silently urging him to carry on and to say ‘me too’.

“I felt so guilty… then one day my boss caught me staring at a picture of us. He said that I was lucky to have a lovely girlfriend as an anchor to help in this grueling job and… I didn’t correct him.”

“You didn’t correct him?”

“I didn’t.” Aaron was now looking at his feet- embarrassed, mentally preparing for the rejection that was to come for letting his mind wander to the possibility of something more with you. He had crossed the line and placed his heart in your hands. “ At first I didn’t know how to react, you are my best friend, my constant support. But at that moment, everything became clearer.” Aaron confessed, however your response may be he will accept even if it would be the last ever time he gets to hold you in his arms. “Y/N. You’re my best friend, my constant support and I adore you.”

A beat passes as you process his words. 

“I’m sorry to spring this on you considering the circumstances. I understand if you want to keep a distance and not want to see me again.” Aaron steps back, takes one last look at you before turning to pick up his bag and leave. 

But as his hand reaches the doorknob, he is abruptly turned and pushed against the door. His gasp of pain is muffled by the crashing of your lips. Aaron drops his bag and instinctively pulls you closer. Air to breathe and the doorknob pocking his back be damned.

You were the first to pull away just enough that your lips brush each other’s. “I know you’re leaving in five months. And I know everyone’s gonna say it’s a big mistake. And I’m gonna get my heart broken but maybe it’s worth it.”

[mymarifae]

jade did nothing wrong

oh yeah she only put aventurine in a new, fancier form of slavery, reducing him to a tool. an asset. a pretty little thing to make her richer that she'll cast aside the moment he's no longer useful to her.

and don't give me any crap about how aventurine "wanted" this - he was literally a slave?? his options at this point in his life were EXTREMELY limited and just killing his "master" wouldn't have been enough to secure his freedom. as we saw in this very cutscene, he was about to go on trial for murder. the ipc didn't give a damn that the man he killed was a fucking slave owner; they were still going to punish him to the full extent of the law, so he would have been going to prison for a VERY long time (or for life), or he'd be sentenced to death. playing off the murder in a way that caught their attention and made them consider his... "worth as an asset", so to speak, was his best bet. he'd be freed from his (literal, at least) chains, and he would have the opportunity to earn money and thus survive in this capitalistic intergalactic hellscape the ipc has been building up for centuries.

ah, and while we're here, should we talk about how she tells him here that his birth name is "destined to be buried in the dirt?" after seeing her interactions with topaz, this isn't a stonehearts thing. they don't HAVE to cast off their birth names and embrace the identity of their cornerstone.

i suppose it's only a coincidence that topaz's name is of slavic and greek origin while aventurine's is romani, and this totally doesn't play further into the (not-exactly-the-most-subtle-anymore) subtext of the ipc's chokehold on the entire universe being an allegory for the racist, white supremacist capitalistic systems plaguing the real world today. which, for the record, is an idea that has existed throughout the game's duration thus far and was articulated a little more loudly in the 2.1 update, with the deep dives into aventurine's past and all, and then was really hammered in with boothill's backstory.

(let's set aside the very valid complaints about hoyoverse's allergy to melanin for a moment - we know aventurine and boothill are not white, and the way their home planets were treated in comparison to, say, topaz's, means something.)

and even if you don't want to connect these two very obvious dots and want to pretend the ipc is more of a neutral force (????), let me just point out how fucked it is for jade to sever aventurine's connection to his birth name. one of his last ties to his culture. topaz gets to keep hers, gets to claim both her past and her cornerstone as integral parts of her identity - but aventurine only gets his cornerstone. the ipc encompasses every part of who he is now. i suppose this qualifies as doing nothing wrong too and not as an act of manipulation and cruelty?

(digressing for a moment to point out a positive because honestly this is a heartbreaking thing to say. aventurine's future self calling him Kakavasha suggests that he didn't truly give in to this treatment and instead fiercely clung to every scrap of his past he had left.)

and just. before i move on from aventurine and topaz completely, i guess we can ignore how inappropriately she touched topaz?

"they're both adults" yeah! thank fucking god! but topaz is said over and over to be Very Young for the position she holds. she, much like aventurine, has been working for the ipc since her late teen years. neither of them were promoted to stonehearts - a position that typically requires a loooooooooot of experience over SEVERAL years with the company - right away, remember that. backtracking to this for a moment:

jade is very much a Grown Ass Woman here. while aventurine is probably like, freshly 18. he and topaz are similar in age. jade is definitely more than one decade older than both of them. maybe you don't care about that; maybe you don't care about a senior boss figure taking advantage of what appears to be a puppy crush born from starry-eyed admiration (which is in turn born from topaz literally being indoctrinated when her home planet was "integrated" into the ipc's system) to make topaz more agreeable to whatever she's told to do. and notice how jade dangles the promise of a promotion right after overhearing how difficult topaz's recent demotion has made her life...?

also if you want to argue about me referring to jade as a senior figure that's quite literally what topaz says about her, so...:

but whatever, right? not a thing done wrong here. Nope.

and we can definitely overlook the way she runs bonajade exchange, right? surely it's of no significant note that she shows no mercy in the contracts she writes up. people come in, trade away their most valuable possessions, and almost immediately find themselves in a hard place with no options... except for another visit to bonajade exchange. consequences of their own greed, sure, but i really want to point out how she doesn't try to help. she doesn't try to include a clause or two that may work in their favor if they're clever. she doesn't leave any loopholes. she forces them to be completely dependent on her, and takes, and takes, and takes... to what end? i don't know, and i'm scared to find out.

i'm not saying she has to or should show mercy to the people that visit her pawnshop. i'm fine with a character who just does evil things, and some of her customers probably deserve whatever end waits for them in the jaws of the snake. but if they were going to show that she has a softness about her, a hint of good intentions... this is where they would have done it. the fact that this is completely absent says an awful fucking lot about the kind of person she is, yeah?

and on that note, i'm guessing you want to just ignore how numby is TERRIFIED of her?

because yeah i'm sure that has nothing to do with the very common trope of animals being able to tell when a person is actively malicious and dangerous. everything is fine, isn't it?

[spicybleach]

Too Sweet: Melissa Schemmenti x Kassandra (me)

Prompt: Based off the song Too Sweet by Hozier (This song has me in a chokehold and reminds me of Melissa ❤️) Kassandra wasn’t an early bird, I know why become a teacher since they wake up at the ass crack of dawn. She loved working with kids, especially back in the Bronx where she lived in poverty until college. Her being the honorary big sister to all the neighborhood kids, she found her passion.

Translation of a couple words:

My love/darling: habibi حبيبي (Arabic)

My little sunflower: il mio piccolo girasole (Italian)

Warnings: Fluff,Alcohol consumption.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Philly was a mini Bronx to Kassandra and she felt right at home. She was looking forward to her new neighborhood and teaching second grade this year. Kassandra just finished her degree to be a teacher at Abbot Elementary. When picking what school she was going to be at, her fellow classmates warned her about the questionable school and a certain someone Melissa Schemmenti. According to the others, Melissa was mean, a bully even to any new teacher that walked into the place. Nobody lasted there, ever, well except Janine. The young teacher wasn’t phased by that at all. She decided so was going to move to Philly and be the best damn teacher ever.

Weeks before the kiddos were set to be back in the classroom all buzzing with excitement from their summer break, telling their friends, teachers and anyone who would listen to what shenanigans they got into in the summer. There was rumors a foot going around about a new teacher at Abbot. Ava, the principal sent a group text to the group chat she has with her teacher friends. Ava would use the word friend loosely, Janine being her biggest annoyance thus far.

Anyways, Kassandra arrived at the school to start setting up her classroom. With papers falling out of a box, dropping a couple pens and highlighters on the front step. Kassandra groans turning around to pick everything up, ‘ Please let this go smoothly’ she thought to herself. Suddenly this bright eyed, enthusiastic man grabs the door for you.

“ Oops I’m sorry, let me help you.” The man smiled. Kassandra smiles back, “Thank you.” She heads into the door and stopping in her tracks. Woah, she quietly says to herself but the man behind her still hears her.

“ I know. Amazing isn’t it?. OH!” The man exclaims, “I’m Jacob by the way and you?” He reaches his hand out to shake yours.

“Kassandra.” She said with a smile.

“ Oh my god? You’re the new teacher?!.” Jacob says jumping a little.

“Yes that is me, can you tell?” Kassandra said shyly.

“ Yeah but it’s okay the crew and I will help you with anything you need. Come on, let’s go to the break room!” Jacob grabs her arm guiding her to the noisy room where everyone is at.

“ Guys!” Jacob slams through the door.

“ Oh hello Jacob good to see you hun!.” A much older black teacher turns from the table.

“ Everyone this is our new teacher Kassandra.” Jacob excitedly says and she walks from behind him still struggling to carry all this stuff.

“ Hi everyone it’s nice to meet you.” Kassandra said from behind her box.

“ Oh dear, here put your stuff down. Don’t wanna hurt yourself. I’m Mrs Howard but you can call me Barbra.” The older teacher helps her put your things on the table so she won’t drop any more items.

“ Nice to meet you Barb.” Kassandra smiled and let out a sigh of relief from all that weight.

Two more teachers walk in along with principal Ava.

“ Gregory! Janine! Ava! This is our new teacher Kassandra.” Jacob said enthusiastically as they walked into the room.

“ Nice to meet you.” Gregory and Janine said in unison.

Janine loves to talk and well that’s what she did asking you questions about Kassandra’s life, school ect. Everyone sat and listened to her tell a few stories about her upbringing, school life you name it. Finally, Melissa walks in, “Melissa! There you are sweetheart. Come meet our newest teacher yes?.” Barbra stands from the table greeting the fiery redhead with a hug. Kassandra turns around to face Melissa. Melissa gets a wif of her sweet perfume as she swings her hair around. For a split second, Melissa felt like she was in an episode of the twilight zone. Time stood still, My god, she’s beautiful. Barb nudges her friend in the arm knocking her from her thoughts. “ Come on don’t be rude, say hi.” Barb said with a smile gesturing her friend towards Kassandra. The beautiful young black woman stood before her, also being the same height as Melissa herself but Mel being a little taller especially in heels.

“Hi, I’m Kassandra, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard things about you.” She reached her hand out and the red head takes it. Melissa gives her a look, scanning her body fairly quickly to where no one but Barb notices.

“Hi, I’m Melissa. Good things I hope.” Melissa smirks taking a step back after they shook hands. What Melissa doesn’t see is her best friend Barb behind her smiling like she was offered a glass of the finest wine.

“Mmm, I’ll be the judge of that.” Kassandra smirks, licking her bottom lip ever so slightly. That draws Melissa’s attention to her lips, a piercing? She thought to herself, it was one of those labret piercings that goes up and down on her lip, ah a horizontal labret; nice.

“ Alright kid, let me show you to your room, it’s just right across the hall from mine.” Melissa says grabbing a heavy box of Kassandra’s things from the table. Kassandra follows gorgeous red head to her new classroom. Melissa wasn’t as mean as Kassandra thought. Kassandra started her tasks already knowing what she wants to do for her classroom.

Melissa tilted her head to the side a bit, “ Sunflowers?” The lovely red said picking up a sunflower decoration from the box.

Kassandra turns around from what she’s doing and flashes a smile, “Yeah, I love sunflowers. See.” The beautiful young teacher showed Melissa her right hand in her ring finger, a sunflower finger tattoo. Melissa lightly grabs the woman’s hand, “Cute.” Oh my god, I’m touching her hand, again. Schemmenti what has gotten into you, Melissa thought to herself.

“ Well, if you need anything I’ll just be in the room across the hall.” Melissa said still holding the younger woman’s hand.

“ Oh I’ll definitely hold that against you, anytime.” Kassandra blushes, turning her face a little so Mel doesn’t see her face. And with that Melissa left, her perfume overtook Kassandra’s nostrils, hammering the scent in her brain; it was intoxicating but in a good way.

Melissa found her way back to the break room where her best friend Barb is. Barb looks up from what she was doing at the table, “mmm.” was all the woman said. Melissa rolled her eyes taking a seat next to her, “ What Barb?.” The red head folded her arms across her chest.

“Oh nothing.” Barb paused for a second, “ You just looked like you were a deer caught in headlights right about now, wanna talk about it?.” Barb gently placed her hand on top of her friends.

“No, thank you. I’m good.” Melissa said nonchalantly but deep down she DOES want to talk about it because what is happening to her? Is this some type of sick prank being pulled or what?. The red head let out the biggest sigh. Barb hits her arm lightly, “ Oh come on dear I know you wanna talk.” Melissa grunts, “Fine.” She gets up from her seat.

“ You know me Barb right.” Melissa said running her hands through her long red locs.

“ Melissa, sweetheart you are scaring me. I’ve never seen you like this except for well if the eagles lost a game and game season is over so what is this about?. “ Barb said frowning going up to her friend holding her hands in hers.

“ Barb I-I don’t know. It’s her.” Melissa said almost a whisper on the last part. Finally Barb clicked two and two together.

“ Sweetheart, I seen the way you looked at her earlier and I only know that look because I get like that with my Gerald.” Barb said with a smile, Melissa’s expression softens.

“ For a moment, it’s like I wasn’t even here you know? I just couldn’t breathe and- and I get this weird pit in my stomach everytime I looked at her.” Melissa said in a panic, Barb pulled her friend into a hug.

“ Look, you might just have a crush on her like you did with that fireman.” Barb shrugs her shoulders, “ Or- maybe you could be developing feelings yes?.” Melissa looked at her friend, “ What? No?. I don’t have a crush Barb you’re reading too much into just one interaction we had.” Barb sighed, shaking her finger at her. “No Melissa, I know what I saw. I’ve known you for how long? You think I can’t read you?” Barb chuckles a bit, “ This isn’t the hard to get Melissa Schemmenti, I don’t know what it is yet but I know you have the biggest heart of any of the people I’ve ever met. Why not have a conversation with her and see where it goes hmm?.” Melissa gives Barb a glare, one that kills. Maybe Barb is right. She does have a crush and boy does Melissa and Barb know it. Unbeknownst to the duo, Mr Johnson and Ava creep outside the hallway getting front row seats to this budding romance.

“ I got 500 that Melissa and Kassandra get together.” Ava whispers, “Deal.” Mr Johnson said quietly and returning to whatever shenanigans he was up too. Nothing gets past Ava in her school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 year later and a short flashback:

Melissa became very fond of the young black woman. They have a few things in common like drinking wine, the love of Italian food (especially Melissa’s Italian food when Mel would bring leftovers to work with her reserved especially for her il mio piccolo girasole. That was Melissa’s nickname for Kass, her little sunflower; she brightens up Mel’s day with her radiant smile, her gorgeous brown eyes Mel takes glances of when Kass isn’t looking. Also her nickname in Mel’s phone. Recently Kass called Mel, Habibi meaning my love/darling in Arabic. It took Mel by surprise but nonetheless she loved the cute pet name. Melissa should thank Janine for inviting Kass out for drinks one night with the crew because it made them closer, everyone knows Mel is too prideful to even do so.

On a Saturday night, Melissa invited the young woman over for some homemade lasagna and a good wine to pair the dish with along with a tiramisu for dessert. Melissa has planned this day for weeks, changing the menu a million times to what she thinks Kassandra would like, down to what outfit she was going to wear. Like Melissa told Kass, this isn’t a date it’s just dinner between two friends. Kassandra arrived in a short black dress that hugged her curves in the right places, paired with a black red bottom heel, her dark locs in messy boho braids, her perfume sweet. A bottle of wine tucked under her arm as she fumbled with her purse to get her phone out letting Melissa know she’s here.

The front door swings open revealing a well dressed Melissa. Her signature leather pants tight, a green tank top, that fucking leather jacket, her hair cascading around her, her makeup is soft. Kassandra smelled a familiar scent that overtook her nose. Melissa flashes her famous smile that’d make anyone melt.

“Hey hon. Is that wine I see? You look great.” Melissa smirks her one arm propping her up against the door frame and the other on her hip.

“ Hey habibi. Yes, it’s something I think we’ll both enjoy. Thank you, you as well as always.” Kassandra smiled back handing her the bottle. Melissa steps aside to let her in, closing the door behind the woman.

“ Ha- what?.” Melissa said trying to pronounce the word in her thick Philly accent. Kassandra laughs at the red head trying to pronounce the word.

“ My love/ darling. You gave me a little nickname or whatever so you needed one. After all I’m your il mio piccolo girasole after all.” Kassandra smiled up at the red head. Melissa liked loved the nickname. Melissa sat the wine bottle on the counter, grabbing two wine glasses from the cabinet, pouring two glasses for the both of them. Kassandra took a sip of wine from the glass, a little spilled out of her mouth. Melissa watched the bead of wine drip from her lips, running down her chin and landing on her busty chest. Melissa bit her lip, she knows it’s not the wine since they just opened the bottle.

“ Oops.” Kassandra wiped the bead of wine off her chest. Melissa watching her closely, the way her breast jiggled when she touched them briefly.

“So.” Melissa pauses swirling her finger around the rim of her glass, “ Hungry? I made lasagna and for dessert tiramisu.”

Kassandra’s eyes lit up knowing Melissa knows how much she enjoys her, her food.

“ I could eat.” Kassandra smirks against the glass in her mouth.

Melissa guides her to the dining room where the table is set and the only light in the room is candles. A singular sunflower sits on top of a plate on the table. Melissa takes the glass from Kassandra setting it by the plate with a sunflower.

“ Schemmenti, I thought this wasn’t a date?.” Kassandra said with a raised brow turning to the red head beside her.

“ Hon it’s not. Can’t a friend just give a friend a flower that reminds her of? Come sit I’ll get you a plate of that lasagna. Save room for dessert too.” Melissa gestures to the chair she pulled out for her. Kassandra walks over taking a sit in the chair. Melissa watched as her curves swayed when she walked. Melissa disappeared to the kitchen but not before she stole glances of the beautiful black woman sitting at her table. God she wishes SHE was the dessert for the night. Admiring the sunflower in her hand, Kassandra bring it up to her nose inhaling it’s scent. Melissa reappears with the plates of lasagna.

The conversation flows smoothly between the two women. The Italian music; loud, the laughter; even louder, Melissa’s feelings; electric. “ I’m gonna clean this up real quick and we can get to dessert.” Melissa stands from her chair taking all plates and glasses to the kitchen. Kassandra followed in toe. Melissa places the dishes in the sink.

“ I think I’m ready for dessert. Dinner was delicious.” Kassandra said leaning against the island. Melissa turns from the sink shooting the woman a smile.

“ I’m glad you liked it. Now,.” Melissa smiled, clapping her hands together, “ Let’s get you some of that dessert.” Melissa heads to the fridge bringing out a glass dish of the tiramisu, grabbing two forks as she heads over to the woman at the counter. Melissa hands Kassandra a fork , instantly digging in. “Well?” Melissa said with a raised brow waiting for an answer.

“ Oh my god.” Kassandra said with a mouthful, “ This is incredible habibi.” Melissa smiles taking a bite too. She watched the way the fork hit the young woman’s lips. Her red lipstick sticking to the fork, the way Kassandra’s tongue slide on and around it sent shivers down Mel’s spine. Oh god how pretty she’d look bent over the counter screaming my name, Melissa thought to herself. She’d never take advantage of her friend like that especially since they gone through 3 bottles of wine. “ I’m glad you like it hon.” Just then Melissa noticed a bit of whipped cream on her bottom lip. “ What?” Kassandra caught Mel staring a hole into her. “ Let me get that for you hon.” Melissa points to her lip. Stepping closer to her, their bodies now touching. Melissa takes her thumb wiping away the cream off her lip. Kassandra takes Mel’s hand licking off the whipped cream from her thumb. Melissa rests her hand on her face, it’s warm and soft to the touch. For a moment the world stopped for them both. Looking into each other’s eyes.

“ Thank you Mel.” Kassandra said softly leaning into the older woman’s hand more.

“ You’re welcome.” Melissa rubs her cheek with her thumb. Kassandra blushes hard. It was so quiet in fact, too quiet to where Melissa heard the woman’s heart beating from her touch. Melissa was close enough to kiss her but doesn’t because she respects her too much to do anything with them not being sober.

“ I’m getting sleepy habibi, I think I’m in a food coma.” Kassandra said pulling Melissa closer as if they aren’t close enough, laying her head on the redheads chest listening to her faint heartbeat. Melissa wraps her arms around the young woman. Her hands playing with her boho braids.

“ I’m glad you enjoyed the food il mio piccolo girasole. You aren’t driving home tonight. Come on let’s get you to bed hm?.” Melissa said caressing Kassandra’s face light with her hand, kissing the top of her head. And up the stairs they go, Melissa’s room is just as expected; warm like her hugs, beautiful and bright like her smile. Kassandra takes her dress off, leaving only her matching bra and thong. Melissa looks on, admiring the way her thong just hugs her curves, her bra concealing those soft plumped breasts. Melissa doing the same, going over to her closet looking for a t shirt.

“ Here.” Melissa said, throwing Kassandra a shirt and grabbing another for herself. Melissa turns around already in her shirt, Kassandra is on the other side of the bed struggling to put hers on. Melissa chuckles to herself, “ Hon, let me help you.” She walks over to the tipsy young woman. Her bra still being on, Melissa reaches around her and un clasps it, Kassandra’s breasts falling.

“ Why? I think I got it. Almost.” Kassandra whines still not being able to put the shirt on. Melissa pops her head through the top of the shirt, helping her slip her arms in the holes.

“ There we go. Now you’ve got it. You were struggling hon. You’re welcome. So um, you can sleep here and I’ll just take the couch okay? Goodnight.” Melissa said helping her on the bed. As she was walking away she felt a hand grab her arm.

“ No..” Kassandra choked out, “ Please sleep with me? Please.” Melissa looks at her beautiful brown eyes, damn it those beautiful eyes of hers. “ Yeah, of course.” A smile is painted around the young one’s face. Melissa gets in bed beside her, pulling the covers to let her in. Kassandra gets in, lying on Melissa’s chest with an arm draped over her stomach. Melissa pulls her a bit closer, Kassandra now lying on top of Mel.

“Habibi?” Kassandra spoke softly. That nickname just gets Melissa everytime.

“ Yes, il mio piccolo girasole?” Melissa smiles, caressing her face with one of her hands.

“ I had so much fun tonight, thank you for inviting me over. I love you.” Kassandra kisses Mel’s neck lightly, settling into her as she slowly drifts off to sleep.

“ I love you too.” Melissa kisses her forehead, playing with her hair as they both drift off to sleep.

This was one of many encounters the two unknown lovers had that would lead to their relationship and maybe even a marriage in the future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HI GUYS! So I decided I’m gonna do this in parts because I’m just too excited about this. FEEDBACK IS MUCH APPRECIATED ❤️❤️❤️ part two is below: ⬇️ ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

[justanothersanjilover]

One Piece Modern Gym Au Wip

(Part 17)

“Fucking shit,” Zoro mumbled, falling back against his apartment door.

A shit-eating grin was plastered on his face. He brushed a hand through his hair as he pushed away from the door. Sanji was going on a date with him! And he would only have to wait until the day after tomorrow! He said Sanji could pick what they were going to do, and the genuine smile he gave Zoro warmed his whole body! He couldn't wait!

“You look like you’ve won the lottery.” A feminine voice came from his couch.

The grin faltered and turned into a - admittedly well practiced - grimace. She was back after what? Maybe five months?

“Did you pick the lock?” He growled in a playful tone - anyone not knowing him would say it was threatening.

Zoro glanced over to see pink hair emerge from behind the backrest of his couch. The girl attached to the bright-colored and neatly styled hair rolled her eyes at him.

“I still have a key, idiot! You gave it to me after your last withdrawal episode and never wanted it back!”

“Right…not like I say every time that you should leave it and…actually, last time you left a key! Which one was it, if not the one for the front door?”

She laughed.

“Don’t know. Found it around the house and figured Mihawk doesn't need it anymore. You never checked if it was the real one?”

“I trusted you…”

Zoro scoffed and walked over to finally give her a big hug, seeing how impatient she had gotten by tapping her foot repeatedly. Perona smiled into his shoulder.

“It’s good to see you,” she mumbled.

Ten minutes later, they sat on the couch, two cups of tea on the table.

“What have you been up to?” Zoro wanted to know.

“Oh, you know, traveling, blogging, working, I actually got a job at a cemetery for five months.”

“As long as you are happy,” Zoro smiled.

Perona had never been an ordinary girl. Ever since Mihawk had adopted the two of them, she was outgoing, bursting with life, and didn't give two shits about the opinions of other people. She always dressed like she wanted to win a goth contest and loved everything that was even slightly out of the ordinary.

She made a living with her traveling and occasionally working a 9 to 5 or really anything that came her way and felt like her. Zoro was a proud big brother - even if he would never tell her that. He listened to her rant about where she was traveling and what was going on with her life. Listening to Perona’s stories never got boring, and he loved it when she came to visit him while she was in town.

“How ‘bout you? What were you up to, all these past months?”

“I…finally went back to Nami’s Gym…”

“And she let you stay?”

“Yeah…actually, almost all the girls there were happy to see me again. Also, she got a new healthy food guy, so I’m not the only man there.”

He couldn't help but smile at the thought of Sanji.

“Oh…oh! What was that?! Was that a smile?! Are you into that guy? Bet he has your little heart in a chokehold! Tell me all about him!”

Perona scooted closer to him and looked like a puppy waiting for a treat. Zoro sighed and rubbed his face.

“Okay, fine. But,” he pointed a finger at her in warning. “You can't tell anyone, understood? We are just about to figure out what’s going on with us. I don't want anyone coming to me or him and asking stupid questions!”

Perona held up her hands in defense.

“I won't tell anyone, geez! Don’t bite me!”

Zoro grinned at her. When they were young, he had a habit of biting her when she got too annoying, and Perona wouldn't let him forget that.

“So his name is Sanji…”

“Of course it is,” she rolled her eyes, giggling.

“What do you mean?”

“You didn't notice? Isn’t Sanji translated to three? You know what, let me check.” A quick internet search later, she grinned at Zoro. “Yup, it translates roughly to three o’clock and even to a traditional snack in Japan taken by three o’clock.”

Zoro snorted and shook his head.

“I swear if you say he is a snack…”

“But he is!”

Perona laughed and shook her head. Zoro was hopeless when it came to his crushes, but then she got serious only a second later.

“Does he know?”

“Ha!” Zoro barked a laugh at that question. “You have to be more specific about what you mean.”

“About your past addiction, so he won't try to make you drink more than you can handle.”

Zoro nodded.

“About your eye?”

He shook his head and shivered at the sudden memory flooding his brain. He managed to shake it off before it took hold.

“About you being trans?”

“Yes, he knows it. It was kind of a rollercoaster until he finally knew, but he’s fine with it.”

“Great!” Perona smiled again, drinking the last bit of her tea. “You plan on telling him what happened?”

Zoro shrugged and touched the scar over his lost eye. It was the fucking worst memory he had.

“He didn't ask yet. I see him looking at it sometimes, but he’s too well-behaved to actually straight out ask about it.”

“That's not an answer.”

“I…don’t know. Maybe? If we actually get together. I don't want to…burden him with that story as a friend.”

“You know, friends are there to talk about things like that, too.”

“Yes, I know. But I think he has his own backpack to shoulder throughout his life. I don’t want to put more weight on it.”

Now, Perona became even more interested. She loved gossip and secrets, and she loved them even more if she could reveal them.

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why do you think that?”

Zoro scratched his chin.

“He invited me over, and as I arrived at his address, it was the fucking most expensive apartment complex in town, and he lived on the top floor! He has the penthouse, Perona! On his bell only stood the number three, which I found odd. When I made a comment on the penthouse, he didn’t say anything…and he has heteo…hetiro…” Zoro cursed for not remembering the word of Sanji’s eye condition. “The thing where you have two eye colors.”

“Heterochromia,” Perona helped.

“Yes! One of his eyes is blue, and the other is green. When I said it looked beautiful, he answered that it was nice to hear that for something he hates. But when I asked about why he hates it, he changed the subject. I don't know…it just feels like he has a lot of secrets…”

“I could investigate,” Perona offered. “If you want.”

Zoro knew from experience that she would do it anyway. But he shook his head. He wanted Sanji to tell him his story and not for Perona to spy on him.

“Fine.”

They talked on for hours. It got so late that Perona decided to stay for the night and sleep on Zoro’s couch. Zoro offered his bed, but she insisted, and Zoro didn't push much because he didn't like sleeping on his couch.

“You have everything?” He wanted to know as Perona was laying down.

“Yes. I mean, I’d love something to cuddle, but…”

“Wait…”

Zoro walked into his bedroom and rummaged through his dresser. He found what he searched for and went back into the living room.

“Here.”

Perona made big eyes as she saw what Zoro had handed her. It was a big tiger plush - green like his hair and with a grumpy expression.

“You still have it?”

“As you see. Don't drool on it!”

Perona nodded and hugged the tiger tight to her chest. It was a souvenir from when they were kids. Perona actually got it for Zoro at a fair after completely destroying a booth where you had to pop balloons with a little dart arrow. And by destroying it, he meant that she hit almost every target. The man actually cried after she left.

Zoro smiled at the memory while pulling up his blanket. His last thought before sleep took him over was that he wanted to take Sanji to a Fair and win something cute for him.

Prev/Next

First Part

[wulfhalls]

I didn't lose out to depression, instead my parents convinced me a 4 year traditional degree was pointless and I should take a medical coding course instead, did that for almost a year, finished not knowing how to code and unemployable but couldn't afford to move out while still in school so went into low grade office work that quickly stopped being enough to live off and ended up having to start regular college anyway but at 28 instead 🙃 Graduated with my history BA last summer at 35-- sadly still unemployable, jobless, and dirt poor, and still with a Masters to get that I can't afford. At least I can rub it in my dad's face since he dropped out his BA program with like one term left.

just as a note of support to you/the history BA anon: 28 is young <3 you've still got time for good things, even if it feels like you're "behind" right now. I'm 32 and after years in the depression wilderness I'm retraining for a career that I hope will allow me the flexibility to enjoy life, not merely survive it. I saw someone say recently "the time will pass anyway, you may as well do what you really want" xxx

oh, no! don't call yourself pathetic because i think it's genuinely really inspirational to go back to uni at 30. i finished my bachelors but always wanted to do masters and phd too, but i was so burned out due to depression that i decided to take a break... which lasted for way longer than i intended because my mental health only worsened. now every day im trying to break away from whatever has me so in chokehold, lol. will probably start preparing for masters this year and enroll the next. sometimes i'm scared 28 is too "late" but this fear goes away whenever i hear about people going to uni in their late 20s/early 30s!

Babes, I'm in academic hell now too, you're not alone! I did do my bachelor's straight out of school cause I had no choice not too but I wish I had taken some years to actually get my health in order so I was able to learn and not just survive. I'm now finishing my MA this year after deferring assignments and my dissertation for two years because of health. Yay! My fellows look at me like I'm a pensioner at 25. But in regards to others, I accidentally locked myself out of the library in first year and had to get a grad student to let me back in (no joke, he looked like a broke but fitter Jon Snow with the man bun and all). He did his BA at 28 and MA at 31. Being an older student just gives you more vibes, more sex appeal, you're more mysterious and know how to pay bills.

ugh u guys don't even know what a balm to the soul hearing all this is (well. actually u probably do) it's just such a relief to know I'm not the only one. we ARE all in this together ❤️ and maybe depression (or other factors) got us good for a long while but we're back we're trying and we're getting there <3

[batsplat]

since you made a few posts about motogp and tennis I have to ask: how would valentino’s and sete’s rivalry look like in your mind than mapped onto 00’s atp tour? and also THE CURSE!!!!! (this is an au where tennis has more whimsy obviously) what would it look like in tennis realities?

got this ask and immediately dropped everything to have a think about it. let's do this

I think valentino's earlier rivalries are trickier to conceptualise in tennis terms than inter-alien rivalries, because the vibes of valentino's early rivalries kinda depend on said rivals not actually beating him to championships, aka the biggest prize in the sport. the biggest prize in tennis is slams and like... it just isn't feasible for anybody to have a chokehold on all the slams for five years. quite frankly I don't even like tennis au's that start throwing around calendar slams unless they're extremely careful about it. in the entire open era, exactly 1 (one) person managed a calendar slam - steffi graf as a teenager over three decades ago. while it is theoretically achievable in the modern game - djokovic got within one match of it until the pressure got to him he ran into an opponent who played at an incredible, divine, beyond phenomenal level to beat him in the us open final - it is very unlikely to happen for various reasons and certainly not by a young male player. this is a long way of saying that valentino is simply not winning twenty consecutive slams from 2001-05. noughties federer gives us a sense of the upper limit of what kind of sustained dominance is possible... generally I think giving valentino a prolonged run at 2-3 slams per year is the way to go here

^noughties federer, which to me represents a pretty hard upper limit for how many slams I'm willing to give someone in such a concentrated time period

the rule in tennis is that if you want to effectively lock out The Field from slams, you need at least 2-3 consistently dominant players. one player cannot effectively lock out the whole field from slams. it's the pack hunter phenomenon - the big three/four's hold on the slams was so enduring and so crushing because whenever one of them was injured or not feeling it or whatever, somebody else was there to pick up the slack. to some extent this is comparable to motogp's alien era, though obviously big three dominance lasted a fair bit longer. neither valentino nor later marc alone could lock out the rest of the field from the occasional race win - but from 2007-15... four non-aliens I believe (vermeulen le mans 2007, capirossi motegi 2007, dovi donington 2009, spies assen 2011, not double checking this because I want to Believe I know this off the top of my head) won races. all the other races were won by one of five guys. obviously in motogp there's also a technology factor, better bikes factory vs independent tyre change + electronics leading to ten race winners in 2016 bla bla bla, but you get the point. all of this means that this version of sete, even if he's the main challenger for valentino in *only two years*... has to win slams. you can come up with a lame workaround for this - for instance, say that all the continental europeans simply suck at grass and you get a 'sampras can't play on clay' nineties type scenario where the fictional bruguera-type equivalent keeps winning wimbledon titles - but idk,, this feels way too convoluted and kind of narratively unsatisfying. so let us just take it as a given that sete is... a late bloomer but one who does end up with an objectively very respectable career. which obviously inevitably changes the vibe of this rivalry at least somewhat

it is at this point that you do come crashing into another major hurdle: the manufacturer switch. this is obviously a really key bit of the vale/sete story and it is basically impossible to translate to tennis. it's not an equipment change, it's not a coaching change (in any case, I'm committed to jb coaching valentino throughout his dominant era), you can't come up with some hackneyed idea of a tennis academy substituting the manufacturer environment or whatever. tbh I do like how... specific this rivalry is to motogp, like it's one that feels very close to the spirit of the sport... in some ways the valentino rivalry that's the trickiest to translate. on the other end of the spectrum is the casey rivalry which reads as a very tennis-coded situation to me, both practically and thematically. the sete rivalry gets a lot of its charm and appeal from stuff that simply would not work as well outside of motogp

(another important element of the rivalry that for obvious reasons can't be translated is everything to do with safety. sete's rise to prominence happened in the direct aftermath of the tragic death of his teammate, both sete and valentino were central among the riders in pushing through safety-related changes after that, safety concerns play an odd uncertain role in shaping the drama that took place at qatar 2004, sete's lasting objections to valentino's actions at jerez 2005 surround what kind of precedent was set in terms of safe riding. the sete/valentino rivalry thematically asks questions of what people owe to each other, the ethical guidelines of competition, the responsibilities of existing within a competitive community. key questions that remain about qatar 2004 is whether sete was involved in any way in reporting valentino due to a *genuine* earnest interest only in ensuring safety and wanting all riders to take that same step, what the competitive calculus was there, whether he was being naive in that situation, and whether valentino was justified in his cynicism about sete's motivations. there is no equivalent in tennis and it's a case where it's best not to try and shoehorn one in)

so failing a practical equivalent, what you really want is to find something thematically similar. this also really isn't easy. the manufacturer switch on a plot level functions as something valentino does to *intentionally* make his own life harder to prove a point and go his own path. it is an act of individual expression along a path of self-actualisation, for both good and ill. for tennis players this is just... I mean it's too egocentric a sport to have to push back against constraints on your individual identity, right. conformity is enforced more through tennis' stringent norms and underlying conservatism, rather than a literal contract that forms the basis of an athlete's participation in the sport. sure, the general vibe of 2003 where valentino was struggling with feeling like he was just expected to win all the time - where any mild dip in form felt disproportionately challenged and winning had become too routine - does also work in tennis but like... what do you do about that? a coaching switch away from a big name coach is probably the closest equivalent, or turning your back on a bollettieri-type structure. but it just doesn't quite work!! the other controversial thing you can do is scheduling, but given he'll be playing all the masters and slams anyway... idk, turning him into a vulture for a year simply does not have the same vibe. unless you handle it very carefully

so. here is what I think you need to do: you need to give him a target. pick one of the four slams and say that he hasn't won it for a few years (or at all), and then have him organise his season around winning that slam. it's got to be either wimbledon or the us open... I've already earmarked roland garros as his slam because I simply think he has the vibes of a clay grinder... and also this gives him so many southern european courts to terrorise his opponents on. which ig in a mugello-equivalent might give him quite a substantial streak at the place. (though might also be worth giving that streak to rome, as a masters and Serious Business that is also valentino's biggest home event.) for obvious reasons, you cannot organise your season around winning a slam that takes place in january, so australia is out. the case for wimbledon is that in some quarters it's still seen as THE prestigious slam. given that it's quite different from clay, it's easy enough to imagine that being his weakest slam (though it really doesn't have to be, cf borg for the most obvious example), it's notoriously tricky to win the channel slam (rg/wim) given how close they are. the argument against it is... idk, how DO you organise your season around winning wimbledon?? take a vacation during rg? yeah, no. it's gonna have to be new york

the us open is the last slam of the year. it doesn't HAVE to be the most open slam - it was for a while on the men's side, but for instance right now the women's slam that's most open is wimbledon and for the nineties men it was rg - but it does lend itself to that status. players are tired + it's a volatile place that lends itself to upsets. tbh you can even say that valentino's never won it. career slams are tough!! you can be a superb dominant player and struggle with the career slam, again cf federer. sampras never did it. my girl henin also couldn't quite manage it. at this point I think we need to add another plot mechanism into the game: year end rankings. this doesn't quite work as a championship equivalent, since you'd basically always choose a slam over year end number one. but it DOES matter to players, especially if it's either your first one or you're approaching a record. sampras made himself sick with worry when he was closing in on his sixth consecutive year (in retrospect extra worth it since it's a rare record that survived the big three era). and if you don't get it one year... you do have to start the streak again. so valentino is chasing doohan's streak and it's a big thing in the media, maybe because doohan's made a dismissive remark about it or whatever, and valentino is being asked a lot about it. valentino wants to be The number one at the end of every year

one more relevant element of the tennis calendar: surfaces are a big big deal in tennis, slightly less so as time goes by and the surfaces have been homogeneised but they still matter for every single player. both in terms of playstyle they suit and how they make you organise your schedule. an odd quirk of the tennis calendar is that right after wimbledon (grass) you get a bunch of small clay tournaments in europe before you head to north america for the hard court swing that leads up to the us open. now, I personally think this is excellent and whimsical and a lot of fun to watch right after wimbledon at a time of year that just FEELS like it should have clay court tennis, but less enlightened souls than myself see this bit of the year as 'pointless' and 'dumb' and 'nonsensical'. the powers that be are currently trying their best to kill that calendar stretch because the sport hates me personally. it's also not got the best reputation,, like some of my fellow fans do kinda look down on top players who go to those tournaments... at times they are decried as vultures... that being said, some players have a compelling reason to go and play there. swiatek obviously wanted to win her home tournament in warsaw and was bitterly disappointed when she didn't manage to do so in an otherwise dominant 2022, though it's now a bit of a moot point since it's switched to hard court anyway. and thiem infamously had a habit of rocking up at kitzbühel to try and win his home tournament, which might not have been the smartest scheduling choice right ahead of canada, cincy and then uso. notably he won his one slam at the 2020 us open, where tennis had been officially paused until august (albeit with many ill-advised exhibition tournaments, which thiem played A LOT of to prepare for his big run) for pandemic reasons. playing those tournaments can come with a tax for the american hard court swing

and now I think we have just about enough plot mechanisms in place to actually figure out how to make this work. so, here we go. valentino and sete have known each other for years. valentino trained with sete as a teenager at at kenny roberts' academy, back when valentino was an upstart brat who thought he can get away with slicing half his groundstrokes. a little bit further down the road, valentino is starting his first proper pro season and gets some friendly advice from sete about tour life which he completely ignores. let's say it's over-scheduling, a classic sin of the young player. valentino has a tough season or two where he's constantly getting injured as he adjusts to tour life.... he was a very promising junior (dealer's choice whether he won junior slams or not, which are more f2 than 250cc in terms of prestige and... probably even less so, they're also NOT predictive whatsoever of future success, especially on the men's side) but he really does need some time to adapt to the men's game. he's one of those young players who is just cramping ALL the time, something charmingly pathetic about some of his early bo5 efforts. valentino wins his first slam in australia and then he's off. hemmed and hawed about how many slams to give him that year and I've ended up settling on ao/wimbledon for a respectable two, his mugello 2001 equivalent disaster takes place on his strongest surface at rg. for now let's say we have a relatively similar timeline to irl so he has another very dominant season and wins... idk, sure, let's give him three slams. I kinda think denying someone uso is a bit tricky because by that point the discourse gets very calendar slam centric and I also think valentino would suit new york well!! but he's just kinda exhausted, one of those years he ends up withdrawing due to injury. both those years he secures year end number one with ease

during this time his main rivals are kr jr, though he tails off sharply, biaggi, capirossi, barros and ukawa. valentino by this point has a firmly established reputation for long, meandering dramatic matches that he manages to just about win. he's not exactly the most efficient in slam draws (or indeed regular draws) - it's very crowd-pleasing tennis, he's the best out there, but it does come with its drawbacks. his serve is underpowered and his forehand is a reliable rally shot more than it is a great finishing shot. he tends to think his way through matches, often starting slowly as he figures the opponent out, has a lot of wins coming from behind. his biggest strengths are the sheer range of weapons in his arsenal - as well as his brain. it's a nightmare to put him away, which is a great way to torture opponents... how to win matches you have no right to win. while he doesn't win every slam in that period, he DOES have an excellent record in slam finals specifically... hey, you know what, let's give him a perfect record - not too unrealistic, if you look at some of the young big stars currently in the men's and women's game. so when he loses it's earlier in the draw, like fourth round territory ig. but that lack in efficiency in making his way through draws is also something that's pointed out to him relating specifically to his struggles at the us open, at which point of the season the gas tank has a bad tendency to be empty. maybe he even gets fitness-related criticisms, like he isn't training the right way, despite his clear ability to win very long matches repeatedly. it's beginning to grate on him. he's ALSO constantly getting shit for playing the clay summer despite how poor scheduling this is. now, irl this swing happens more in northern bits of europe but... I think we can just about justify a minor alteration here. Let Us Say there's a tournament close to valentino's home that he loves dearly and wants to go to every year. so first you have a 250 in bologna and then a 500 in... idk somewhere else in italy, naples let's say

then, he has a season that's just kind of... frustrating. he wins the australian open quite comfortably, idc what he does at the sunshine dubs, wins rome and hamburg... he has an unexpectedly rough time securing his roland garros title, like we're talking three five set matches and just sort of a nightmare of a grind all the way. one of his matches is against sete, who has had a major change-up in coaching and... fuck it, type of racquet used for something a bit more up to date. this doesn't massively make a difference in modern tennis (actually a bad time to write this given it DID make a different for the ao women's champion) but it's the noughties, it's just about justifiable. sete's new coach is actually someone he (amicably) poached from valentino's team, juan martinez, and they've worked a lot on sete's game. they've buffed up the serve and tightened up his game in general. sete has a quite classic, kind of old-fashioned playstyle. he's got a very flat forehand, super pronounced eastern grip, a one-handed backhand, a lovely slice and good hands at the net. he was a bit of a holdout in the shift of the game away from serve and volley (bit later in the timeline than henman) but he switched away from ONLY using that turn of the century-ish. though it's still a proper weapon in the arsenal - and the thing is you need a very good serve for that to be effective, not just hand skills at the net. sete becomes better at powering through his service games while using a lot of chipped returns to elongate receiving games

now this isn't the type of game that necessarily MASSIVELY suits clay, though if you're able to slice and slide there's a path to competitiveness there. he's spanish, he can slide. and big serve plus forehand won't really hurt you on any surface. let's say they meet in... idk, the fourth round or the quarters, sete isn't seeded massively high even though his results this year have picked up. he's never beaten valentino before - and he doesn't here either, but he makes things REALLY hard for valentino. especially in the first couple sets, valentino's really struggling to get a read on the serve, one of those slightly sneaky ones where the ball toss misleads you about where it's going. (generally if you've got a good eye competing against someone with a reliable ball toss, you can read type of serve from ball toss - slightly to the right for a righty means it's a slice serve and slightly to the left further back means topspin. tennis players have sharp eyes: infamously, agassi always knew where becker was going to serve because becker had a tell depending where his tongue poked out of his mouth. agassi had to occasionally pretend to guess wrong to avoid making it too obvious and only told becker about it years after retirement, who had always been confused about how agassi always seemed to guess right.) valentino's a bit off his game, kinda stressed about being expected to deliver the... idk, first title defence at roland garros? let's keep the timeline vague, he's certainly defending the title. and another super frustrating thing sete does is deploy....................... oh god am I really doing this... okay fuck it, if you're still reading this post then that's really on YOU. so. let's go there

and another super frustrating thing sete does is how he deploys a smart return strategy. now, we've established that valentino's weakness tends to be the bread and butter elements of the game, the offensive clinical stuff on serve and forehand. ideally you would want to exploit those things, and if you are a smart player who isn't just awed into submission by valentino's seemingly endless capacity for problem-solving, there are a few things you could try. first off, if you are a one-handed player who has perhaps had to develop a very good slice backhand ANYWAY to compensate for any weaknesses (particularly defensive) on that wing - and also have that extra bit of power in your dominant arm from not using your non-dominant arm for the backhand - you may also have a very good chipped return. (even for good 1hbh's, returns can be an issue.) (oh also chipped returns - also called blocks - are basically like... you mostly just use the momentum of the opponent's shot to literally block the ball, but the general trajectory of the racquet is from high to low, so like with the slice. puts a different spin on the ball, keeps it low.) so if you were to do a lot of that and keep feeding it into valentino's forehand (given that he's a lefty, this is actually quite nice to do with a backhand return - particularly since his favourite serve is an ad kicker out wide which generally would have a high success rate against 1hbh's) then you are giving him a low ball without a lot of speed. not necessarily the kind of shot your typical counterpuncher wants to be redirecting, which means you keep having rallies on valentino's serve that continually get reset to neutral. valentino unwilling to generate power himself and continually ending up in a normal rally. another supplementary tactic is to actually like... massively step back on the second serve, way more common these days but back then a bit more of a radical approach, and give yourself time on the ball - makes it more likely you can move around your backhand and hit the ball with a forehand instead. and if it's not the best second serve in the world, you sure can take a whack at it

now eventually, valentino does figure this one out. loses the first after a fast start from sete, grabs the second on a tiebreak that FEELS like it should be the turning point, loses the third anyway quite comfortably. at this point valentino goes full lockdown mode and just makes it a complete grind, just utterly disgusting tennis. he will hit high topspin forehands into sete's backhand a million times if he has to. it's not even necessarily winning through brains as much as it is sheer perseverance, until eventually sete's legs fail him and the tennis wavers just enough for valentino to eek out a win. they're very warm at the net, it's one of those 'valiant underdog' efforts at slams where everyone thinks the winner was certain all the time anyway but applauds the underdog (though valentino secretly wasn't so confident throughout the match). valentino and sete are friends by this point, close by the standard of tennis players - they like to train together in italy and have of course spent a few summers together in ibiza... ah I realise I have sacrificed valentino's ability to have meaningful summer holidays to the clay gods. idk they spend the off-season together, whatever. valentino is very complimentary of sete's progress, it's all warm and lovely. he already had one of those kinda silly 'you really shouldn't be in a match this long' situations in the second round.... but after this sete match it feels like he should probably have found his feet, clear through the rest of the draw quite easily. in the end, it's actually more exhausting than that - valentino drops a set to *spins wheel* checa in the semis in pretty unnecessary fashion, and then he ends up in a gruelling five set final against capirossi. a match valentino was in firm control of and then repeatedly in less firm control of. it's just kind of loose and dumb and a bit stupid, fine because he eventually won but probably didn't need to be that close

scholars will note that I've actually given valentino a nicer start to the sete rivalry than he got in real life, seeing as he did actually secure a victory in their first Super Meaningful Duel. as recompense, I'm about to make the rest of his season substantially worse than his actual 2003. I think you can make a version that's more 2003-y by having sete beat valentino in australia and go from there, but I've committed to having valentino lose us open a few times to inject extra stakes into that tournament so... we are giving the early rivalry quite a different vibe here. whatever. now, crucially, valentino doesn't play any warm up events before wimbledon to recover from rg, which didn't cost him last year but DOES this time and he crashes out in the first week. it's his first loss before the third round since he was like twenty one and it's against an opponent he shouldn't be losing to, some scrub idc. sete, remarkably, goes on to win the title, which even after his positive roland garros run comes as a bit of a shock to everyone. it's a big deal, valentino when later asked about it is of course super complimentary, as we've established it's all lovely. valentino goes off to play his home 250 and gets another round of judgement from the journalists, who are already unimpressed by his early wimbledon exit. he rocks up to canada and makes the final... only to lose to sete. valentino struggles extra hard with sete's game on the quick surface and sete steals the match from him in a deciding set tiebreak. this is NOT the sort of match valentino normally loses, ESPECIALLY in a final, he just has this cockroach-like tendency of surviving even the trickiest situations... and sete managed to stand up to him when it mattered most. valentino is once again extremely complimentary of sete, it was a great fight, he had a lot of fun (and he's being earnest, he DOES love the challenge and the battle, these are the matches that make him feel alive)

then he has a bit of a weird cincy where weather-related scheduling issues means he has to play his quarterfinal and semi on the same day, and he ends up losing to biaggi who wins the tournament. by valentino's standards, this is actually a bit of a big title drought - three whole big tournaments without winning one. (obviously this is silly, but so was the three race thing.) journalists think he really needs to stamp his authority again on the tour at the us open, locker room aura etc etc where he doesn't look too beatable. he actually has a reasonably decent campaign and is looking like the clear favourite for the title, until he runs into sete who is somehow in the second week of a slam AGAIN. now, valentino has to lose this match in a slightly stupid fashion. admittedly when I picture losing matches in stupid fashion, my mind typically goes for the REALLY stupid examples like medvedev/tsitsipas rg '21 or foki/rune wim '23... iykyk. but I don't think valentino goes temporarily insane and does an underarm serve and volley. I think he just... fourth set tiebreak coming back from a two set to love deficit, it feels like he's the firm favourite again, if he wins this tiebreak he surely surely goes on to win the match. five all and he plays a really good point to put him in an attacking position, and he tries to be TOO smart and plays the mid court ball in sete's direction, hoping sete would have already started running to the other side of the court - instead, sete has called his bluff, stuck in place and passes him. sets up matchpoint and sete hits an ace. painful, humiliating, dumb way to lose the semi of a slam. never in his career does valentino do such a bad job of hiding how much it stings as here. all the way to the net and in press.... it radiates off him. he's not rude to sete but he does clearly want to die. sete wins the title, which somehow means he's come essentially out of nowhere to win two consecutive slams, and a masters title to boot

the press... oh the press lay into valentino. it's a stupid way to lose a slam and it's the latest defeat in a slam he's never won. is valentino really as smart as he thinks he is question mark. and he really shouldn't be losing to SETE, who never should have been the challenger to the throne but now suddenly looks like he might be the best player in the world. AND serious questions are being asked of valentino's scheduling choices. it's humiliating, it's frustrating, it's a Bit Too Much and sete quite publicly defends valentino but it still stings. valentino takes as much of a break as the scheduling allows post-uso (what's the weather like in ibiza during this time of year huh) and spends it with sete ofc. he dyes his hair and gets grumpy about how everyone wants him to win all the time and doesn't really even seem to care when he does. they criticise how he plays - too undisciplined, too much faff, too many dropshots - and it feels stifling. the year end number one isn't in serious danger this year because of all the non slam points valentino amassed, but it's still not a great feeling. now, in that era the next masters was actually madrid, which might not be a slam but given that it's sete's home tournament does provide an opportunity to give a sort of brno-type bit of payback. they meet in the final again, big hype by this point, and valentino snatches an extremely dramatic victory from the jaws of defeat. lots of long rallies in that deciding set - valentino increasingly managing to exploit how his excellent backhand can stand up to sete's forehand and he can eventually pull the trigger and redirect down the line. valentino still getting criticised for the excessive flourishes to his game, but nobody can argue with how good of a victory it is. they hug very warmly at the net, their speeches to each other are very lovely, crowd supported both of them since spanish vs endless valentino popularity... all lovely vibes. valentino signs off the season flawlessly by winning the paris masters and the atp finals (yeah look he can play on indoor hard too, he's flexible enough to be a bit more aggressive + volley-focused)

now. valentino goes into the off-season with a Plan. he radically rejigs his serving technique with his coach jb, a bunch of technical changes that are tough to spot like... idk man, more vertically explosive, changes the angle at which he draws his racquet back... but also an extremely obvious switch from pinpoint to platform. (goes from drawing his legs together mid-motion to keeping them apart.) fucking about with your technique is normal - this, however, is substantial fucking about to be doing when you are winning 2-3 slams every year. it is the kind of thing that can massively backfire if you've fucked the technique, serves are sensitive, and valentino is clear that he will need some adjustment period. he also does two things that are pretty controversial: make clear he's intending to complete the career slam that year by winning us open AND sign up for his stupid summer clay tournament. he actually DOUBLES DOWN on this choice, going for both bologna and naples rather than just bologna, which is even dumber and more insane scheduling. as a sort of fuck you to everyone who's been telling him he's an idiot

valentino then promptly wins the australian open. he's in a different league from everyone else until the final, including... actually nvm, biaggi takes sete out in the semis since I kinda feel like sete surely has to be seeded number two by now. the final is great, a lot of drama, very tight five setter. valentino doesn't exactly win on the strength of his serve and he's actually kinda struggling with his... *throws dart blindfolded* let's say his lower back by the end of it, to the point where (to nick a plot point from 1989 roland garros R4 chang vs lendl) he ends up serving underarm to catch biaggi off guard at a crucial point. it is an ORDEAL, valentino clearly not at his best. this whole serve thing looks like it might not have been his smartest play. but in all other areas of his game, valentino has kind of doubled down on his specific style - with all the trick shots and junk and awful spins. he wins, it's probably his best major final to date. big relief

that being said, that lower back isn't doing great. valentino has to sit out february, then the sunshine dubs in march, then also monte carlo for good measure. this is to give him a nice healthy deficit in the atp race, aka the question of whether he's going to secure his... nth consecutive year end number one, let's not think too hard about timelines stuff. crucially he wants that streak to go on - it's not as important as the career slam, but it very much matters and now it does look in serious jeopardy. idk, does sete secure the sunshine dubs? kinda asking a lot, but he's racked up a lot of points for sure - so despite winning the australian open, valentino has a lot of work to do. he's not really in a massive amount of danger of LOSING the number one spot early in the year since his post-uso run banked him a LOT of points that only drop off the rankings late in the year. but still. he's a very clear second in the race. first tournament back is rome and he's playing the final in front of his home crowd against sete - it's a very close match, tough to manage for valentino, especially physically after a decent stretch off. the rain bails valentino out by giving him a break in play and when they come back... sete's very good in tricky conditions but valentino's ball is working really well in the heavy clay and valentino scrapes out a win. sete makes a comment later that can be interpreted as ever so slightly shady about how the italian fans must have done a rain dance. also there was like... a small controversy around earlier in the match where the umpire checked the wrong mark of valentino's and called one of his balls out when it was actually in. valentino annoyed because he feels like he's been disproportionately affected by bad umpiring in the past year

valentino also wins hamburg and he AGAIN plays sete at some point in the proceedings. good close match and they're both very complimentary about each other afterwards. and then he wins roland garros and once again has played sete. this match... hm idk what kind of controversy do we want here, let's make it a slightly dodgy medical timeout from valentino at the sharp end of proceedings. that back won't fix itself!! on-court massage etc etc. valentino scrapes past sete once again to win the title. extremely successful injury comeback and the choice to switch the serving technique mostly vindicated, even though valentino otherwise has very much emphasised his individuality. he's playing with more freedom again, he's doing all his silly lil shots, he's not embarrassed at his four hour matches and instead embraces the grind. the battle. sete visibly pissed after this match though they talk it out and it's all good <3 should also be noted that sete is racking up quite a lot of points despite losing eventually to valentino and is still fairly firmly in the lead of the race. lot of talk of valentino losing year end number one, especially if he overextends himself

and at wimbledon, valentino loses a slam final for the first time ever. in a way, it's a Good Effort to get that far - again, no lead-in events. he's picked up an abdominal strain at some point that's also vaguely serve-related. (kinda thinking of a djokovic 2021 ao type situation.) now for obvious reasons, this final has to be lost in a slightly controversial way. my longstanding thesis on the valentino tennis front is that he's one of those people who thinks all kind of mind games and trickery is perfectly a-okay but then suddenly has weird hang ups if someone disregards something tennis etiquette related. I do have a very specific tennis player in mind, and if you're a reasonably long time fan of the sport and its drama you'll probably know what I'm talking about here, but I do love when somebody is, uh,, very..... liberal. in a lot of their approach to etiquette but does seem to take apologising for let cords extremely seriously. now this one is kinda tricky because !! I do feel like sete specifically also generally would be pretty pro etiquette so obviously there has to be an element of ambiguity here. I'm not entirely happy with this as a qatar equivalent, it's not an easy one to figure out, but here's what I've got: quite deep into the match, very tense in a tiebreak, there's a point where valentino is at the net, a lot of faffing about as they chase each other around, and then sete hits valentino in the abdomen. in tennis this is Fine, it literally is not that serious, sometimes you hit an opponent accidentally and sometimes you do it on purpose because it's a good tactic and the most high percentage play. it's even more okay if somebody at the back does it to a volleyer I feel, like it's not a smash from the volleyer at someone standing in the court... maybe valentino was off balance and just a bit slow to react to get the racquet up. obviously it's extra painful and has a more severe effect given what injury he's already carrying (always thought somebody should have given that a shot with djokovic) but it's Fine. except then it looks like sete turns around to receive his towel without apologising, maybe he half indicates with the racquet but not clearly. and valentino is Furious. maybe sete even gives the proper apology hand gesture by the time he's got the towel but by that point it's too late - it set up sete's set point, so that's why sete was a bit distracted and trying to focus on himself.... but valentino doesn't care. mind games, deeply cynical use of the crowd etc etc are one thing, but not properly apologising?? height of unsportsmanlike conduct. valentino also later objects to how enthusiastically sete's coach celebrated the point win

(the reasoning here generally is that motogp is more concerned with ethical violations and tennis more with moral ones. motogp is more about community and doing right by another rider, tennis cares about standards and etiquette and doing right by some sort of abstract code of conduct. ultimately what is being communicated here is an emotional truth - valentino's feeling that sete lacks respect for him, and also will do whatever it takes to win despite pretending to be relatively unaffected by individual matches or the atp race or whatever. I tried thinking of something sete might snitch to the umpire about for a closer equivalent but like... I can't come up with anything that preserves the genuine sense of ambiguity. the other one I was toying with is a double bounce controversy, which... works better for another rivalry because it doesn't feel quite right for *sete* to be the clear offender... like you could maybe have the umpire mistakenly call a double bounce for valentino but idk, you wouldn't really expect another player to intervene there... this version feels more visceral emotionally somehow, in line with the qatar crash)

sete goes on to win the set and also the match against a somewhat physically impaired and also FURIOUS valentino. (incidentally, this physical impairment is later used to undermine sete's accomplishment at this tournament, as I'm sure is true of all three of sete's slams.) cue an extremely horrid vibes trophy ceremony. after mostly blanking sete in-person, valentino airs his grievances in the press conference, where he lays into sete's conduct. it is also rumoured that at some point that evening valentino says that....... um........... sete will never win another tournament again in which valentino is in the draw. okay, look, doesn't have quite the same ring to it, but I think it works well enough. that's all the major tournaments anyway, but saying "sete won't win another slam" isn't curse-y enough and "sete won't win another big tournament* again // *by big tournament we include slams, 1000s and also the year end finals plus olympics, though 250 and 500 tournaments are excluded from consideration" also isn't exactly overflowing with poetry. but if you left out that 'valentino in the draw' proviso... idk irl the curse wasn't a curse in the moment as much as it was a competitive vow. in this universe, valentino could not stop sete from vulturing marseille - so he needs to have a vow he theoretically has the direct power to enforce. anyway. the friendship is OVER. not only does valentino feel slighted, but also this whole ordeal has put sete in a promising position to steal year end number one off valentino, especially if valentino once again fails to secure us open. he could lose his crown. AND according to valentino, sete behaved completely unacceptably [insert heavy implications that he aimed deliberately at valentino to injure him and get the title that way that valentino won't outright SAY but clearly go alongside the dumber etiquette breach stuff]. idk we're aiming for a mix of 'yeah I get why you'd be mad about that' and 'is it really that serious',, quite tricky but that's what I've got

at this point, any sensible person would take as much time as possible to lick their wounds, especially given they promised a career slam. but valentino Shall Not - he made a commitment to his home fans and he's going to honour that. so off he goes to play his stupid dumbass tournaments in bologna and naples. obviously he wins them because the draw really is not all that good, but it's still very... god what is he doing, has he given his abdomen enough time to rest... he then decides to skip canada because we have to draw the line somewhere, luckily for him sete doesn't win that (maybe he withdrew too and valentino only withdrew once he'd heard lol). and then valentino goes to cincy and wins THAT. doesn't play sete who lost fairly early, which has at least somewhat tightened up the race to ye#1. and THEN you get the us open, aka valentino's chance to secure a Major Career Milestone in a year where it looked really unlikely at points he'd come even close to that kind of thing. faces sete in the final obviously. (low key this is super strong season sete's putting together here but the streets won't acknowledge it and will call him a weak era merchant.) valentino drops his obligatory first set and then they're off.... after that epic uso semi of the previous year, valentino has never lost another tight match to sete again. his serve really is better now and trickier to bully. BUT but but crucially... you gotta have that vibe where it's very much a slam run that feels valentino-y... tightening up his offensive game is an alien era character arc - this is counterpunching at its most glorious. and it's really designed to torture sete. every time they're in a neutral rally, it feels like no shot from sete is good enough to escape from valentino's grasp. pure ruthless intent in the amount of high spin valentino plays into sete's backhand. sete never safe from valentino's blistering backhand down the line. dropshots targeted to humiliate - valentino coming up to the ball with a big big takeback, instinctively making sete step back, only for him to slip the racquet into an extremely well disguised dropper. it's a very high quality battle - sete takes the third on a loose valentino service game, before valentino wins a comfortable fourth set. which means sete is serving first in the fifth set - and at *4-5, valentino faces two match points, which he adeptly saves. one with an extremely brave serve and volley. they end up in a deciding set tiebreak (already a thing at the uso back then) and valentino wins to secure his career slam. sete congratulates him but the vibes are frigid

from there on, valentino sees out the race to get year number one with relative ease. now if you've been paying close attention, you've probably noticed that I mentioned madrid taking place after the us open the previous season, which makes for a very obvious jerez 2005 opportunity. and... there's a strong case to be made for making madrid the jerez, I hear it, but... look, to me there's a funnier jerez expy. so let's just take it as read that sete is winning none of these tournaments. sete's fortunes from there are going downhill, he's getting unlucky with various minor injuries that are taking him out of tournaments. and also obviously valentino is beating him every time they face each other - for a while it's always in finals until eventually sete's ranking is allowed to drop a bit. I suppose you could make quite an obvious parallel in terms of valentino only winning the year end finals TWICE in his career,, like with valencia irl. I don't have massively strong feelings about his indoor hard prowess so sure, let's say he struggles with the ultra fast hard they tend to have at the finals. anyway, he secures year end number one, revels in the schadenfreude, also beats sete in the round robin at the finals... it's all extremely satisfying

before we get to the jerez equivalent. I do think it's worth briefly addressing the Vibe of this relationship... it's tough because tennis functions more on the micro level, like you kinda have championship narratives playing out within single *matches*. it's way more about these little moments within sets, games, points, than the macro level I've been focusing on here. I think crucially you have to emphasise that valentino feels like he's under a lot of pressure to perform and that there's never enough winning and that he has to conform to certain expectations wrt scheduling... no fucking about with your canada obligations to play clay 250s at home... and the key thing is that sete really really isn't supposed to be The Challenger. so at a certain point in the 2003-equivalent, it really does feel like people won't be happy unless valentino wins everything. this relationship is a death by a thousand cuts type situation... a lot of very minor infringements, things in matches valentino doesn't like, tonal differences he thinks he detects during practise session. there's a reason why serious rivals in tennis basically always keep their distance from each other - it's an intensely emotional and personal sport and you can't really afford extra complications when you can look the other person in the eyes between every point. tennis matches are long and they are fantastically cruel. you are denying somebody else their dream very, very slowly, with lots of pauses to consider what you're doing

in tennis... tbh, I think there'd be a lot of Discourse about even HAVING a friendship in the first place, like Is It Really Smart For Valentino Rossi To Be This Close To His Rival. slight irony to this of course because in motogp, it's seen as some sort of crime against nature when he DOES get a little bit of distance from his title rivals, but tennis is different!! a sort of williams sisters situation is extremely rare - when tennis rivals at the very highest level get close, they really only do so post-retirement. that kind of rivalry takes its toll. if valentino continues to train with sete during much of this time span... eventually, you're putting a serious amount of strain on that relationship where you're practically begging it to snap. and this young version of valentino isn't exactly experienced at managing these emotions yet either, so he has this increased competitive paranoia and bitterness and frustration and feeling that sete is lying about taking their friendship seriously and doing the Respectful Rivalry schtick and then just... snaps. that wimbledon final kinda makes him unravel and sete only realises until it's too late. it's the us open trophy ceremony where I think you want to lay on the cruelty - this is where, as valentino, if you toe the line very carefully and don't make it TOO obvious, I reckon you could get that new york crowd to laugh at the loser by using your speech. microphone in hand, you can do all your mockery with the pretence of gentle ribbing (and it's very valentino in that he doesn't have to look sete in the eye while doing it) but the humiliation is very real. you can make a spectacle of the cruelty and the uso crowd will help you out. and that specific crowd would adore valentino I reckon

now we're gonna skim over the next season. if I were doing a full valentino in tennis treatment, I'd probably elongate 2001 over two seasons, make valentino a bit older in the 2004 equivalent and then collapse 2005 and 2006 into a single season, partly because I'm getting a bit leery of how many slams I'm having valentino rack up. the 2006 equivalent would be losing the calendar slam at the final hurdle idk. I'm not super wedded to that, I'd have to then actually do the maths and figure out where my suspension of disbelief kicks in with slam numbers/sustained periods of domination. but for now, let's just say that this new season is going great for valentino and not great at all for sete, curse taking more and more effect bla bla bla. now idk maybe making previous year madrid into jerez DOES work better because you have the immediacy of this next defeat as the Final Nail In Sete's Coffin, as something that fucked with sete's confidence and ensured his 2005 was disastrous, but... I would like to make the case for wimbledon. by this point, sete is two time defending champion there. of all the motogp riders, I do feel like sete has the most of a wimbledon vibe, they'd like how well-spoken and classy he is. and... I know the brits were canonically terrors on valentino's behalf slightly later in the timeline, but tennis is a bit of a different crowd and idk,, let's just say they really take to sete. I just think this is a fun one for a jerez equivalent because a) it's a slam final which means both very high stakes and longer match format to work with, and b) it's harder to make the tennis brits jeer but it CAN be done. and as the number one fan of valentino rossi being booed, I just really love the image of the wimbledon crowd booing valentino. I think for this one for maximum devastation you can throw in a two sets to love lead, which in spite of what this current decade might have you believe used to be a very rare lead to overturn in slam finals. making grass sete's strongest surface also means you get a bit of... y'know, this is the last fortress, this is where sete can still properly challenge valentino. and he's really got the crowd going for him, cheering for the underdog etc etc, it's all very smart play and he's clearly gone away and studied everything valentino has done to beat him and has come up with tactics to change that around. this is a guy who puts a lot of thought into his game who has figured out how to challenge valentino in ways in which valentino hadn't been challenged before, and he's still doing that - it's working. wins at least one set super clearly, a 6-1 type gig

and then valentino's brain kicks into motion and he adjusts. he's not beaten sete on grass before and it's clear he's struggling with it, sete way better at compensating for any shortfalls in his game here. grinding is always going to struggle on grass, and unlike some of valentino's opponents sete doesn't faint at the sight of a slice. so what valentino ends up doing is... very risky tennis that prioritises getting further into the court and to the net whenever possible. on the rise shots, chip and charge, ghost in after shots whenever possible. serve and volley! obviously. it's extremely tough to deal with a player suddenly playing a completely different style, to feed you a different kind of ball whenever possible. valentino basically just decides that he's not going to allow the game to be decided at the baseline At All and if he can't go forward, he'll use the dropshot to drag sete forwards. gets a lot of use out of his lob, which he loves. really trying to wrong foot sete whenever possible. sete tries to return valentino's dropshots with his own dropshots and it plays into valentino's hands. those two sets go by fairly quickly too, it's a grass match, these things can go fast... you end up embroiled in a deciding set. now, I think we're going to use a really strong 1-2 punch to properly piss off the brits, who are fully rooting for sete here - and both of these are callbacks to sources of controversy that have previously been mentioned here. first off, I think we should reverse what happened the previous year at wimby as a symbolic bookend, and have valentino fire a ball at sete. now I know I said incidents of shooting a ball at someone are completely okay, but there's... ones that are more okay and ones that are less okay. if you have a lot of time on a smash, one you can aim literally anywhere else rather than an opponent who's clearly already given up on the point - and you still hit your opponent? I mean it's... it's absolutely still a legit tactic but not necessarily ones crowds LOVE. you can't do too many of those before you get a reputation, but if valentino's mostly squeaky clean on that front I reckon he gets away with One. now, obviously, he immediately and with full power of theatre and spite on his side very clearly apologises to sete with his hands. the kind of apology that is very much a fuck you. the brits are unimpressed. then the OTHER thing you bring back is another thing most people these days don't mind but the wrong kind of crowd HATES - the underarm serve. on championship point. he doesn't have an injury justification this time - it's supposed to read as disrespectful. valentino does a really strong job with it, very unexpected, getting a lot of side spin on the ball and drawing sete to the net to lob him one last time. they boo him all the way to the net, where sete has Words with valentino but still shakes his hand

at this point, turning to the crowd, valentino can obviously go for the whole routine. I love love love his canonical jerez 2005 performance because he's got so many of my favourite 'you're being booed' hits in there and it's like,, very spontaneous, it's like watching someone come up with the mona lisa from scratch. you've got the excessive fist pumping at the crowd, you've got the finger to the sky, the hands on hips, the waving, the CLAPPING at the crowd AND the thumbs up... honestly if he'd put his finger to his lips, cupped his ears and beckoned at the crowd to keep going, he would've gotten the full set. I think he already does a lot of that DURING the fifth set because the beauty of tennis is you get a lot of that crowd interaction in-built and valentino would be MADE for that, but I ALSO think he goes full ham after the match. throughout the trophy ceremony, where sete is like. kinda disapproving but is verbally very clean and respectful and just acknowledges the crowd for all their support. and valentino is grinning shamelessly. practically drowning in malice

and yeah after that sete's career basically collapses. though I want to get One more hit in there - a sort of once more with feeling sachsenring 2005 situation, maybe at cincy idk. where you get a reversal of the point with which valentino set up match point at the us open two years previously - valentino attacking sete right where sete is standing and valentino easily passes him. now sete, frazzled, low on confidence, seemingly destined to always fall apart in front of valentino even when he gets close to victory, plays right at valentino, who passes him for the match win. just real studies in despair type shit. incidentally sachsenring 2005 was the last time they ever shared a podium, so in this world it's the last final they ever play. one more brutal defeat, one more disgustingly bad vibes trophy ceremony shared. the rumoured 'curse' is by this point well established urban legend. sete doesn't even manage to win ANY other tournament at any level as his results are just increasingly fucked. this feels super tennis-y tbh. like valentino in general has some very tennis-coded attributes, and an approach to competition that heavily features tormenting rivals until their confidence collapses is absolutely one of them. tennis in general is more like... accepting conceptually that the brain does indeed Matter, maybe because it's just impossible to deny there, whereas with motogp mind games get discussed in a very weird manner as if like. every act in competition isn't a mind game. come on you people. so 'suddenly becoming unable to close tight matches because your confidence is gone' feels very tennis-y. sometimes you fix it sometimes you don't. sete doesn't

in conclusion. um. I do think you have to be prepared to take some liberties with both characters, I'm not saying I think this is a perfect equivalent, I know there's a lot to be critiqued about my qatar 2004 in particular. also, obviously injuries have to some extent be used as a stand-in for like. bike related issues. I know valentino canonically is very blessed on the injury front, but tennis functions kinda differently where... idk they might not be competing with these big dramatic injuries, but they will inevitably have recurring issues they have to work around. AND schedule around. few tennis matches will result in you breaking both ankles, but breaking both ankles precludes you from playing a tennis match. and that's just a fact of competitive life in tennis that you can take advantage of with valentino, in a way that also precludes any serious injuries from taking him out of THE biggest tournaments for any sustained period of time (during his most competitive era anyway)

so. I think what you want to emphasise here is a genuine friendship that gets increasingly warped by the introduction of competitive stakes, and how at a certain point every minor offence can take on an exaggerated meaning in a very tense environment. sete isn't really prepared to deal with this adjustment and isn't prepared to deal with the version of valentino that comes with it. and valentino isn't really prepared either... he's trying to find a way to manage expectations by going his own way and Not conforming, whether he's doing that with his playstyle or with his haircuts or with his scheduling, prioritising matters of the heart + passion over competitive convenience. and then he's facing a challenger who can beat him in a way that HURTS, a guy who wasn't supposed to be his primary challenger and is his FRIEND but is now beating him at the tournaments valentino really cares about and in ways that valentino is generally beating everyone else. somebody who shows that valentino isn't the only clever top player, somebody who actually has a decent stab at outsmarting valentino. it's bruising for the ego and it's tough to stomach from a friend - who is simultaneously super committed to the clean image of the rivalry as something that's very respectful (unlike vale/biaggi), where they can actually talk about their issues rather than have a fistfight

once you get the breaking point, it's basically just an excuse for valentino to separate himself from sete, to finally get the distance he needed. eventually, valentino gets to dig into the full reservoir of mind games with sete. he does this on a competitive level by relishing those exact right situations where sete was getting the better of him, making crucial adjustments to his game and tactics so that suddenly all those tight matches always go in his favour; he figures out where sete is weak and keeps hammering him there. he does this by publicly making fun of sete, knowing that sete is so committed to his civility that he will not respond in kind. he does this by mirroring sete's past offences back at him, and by doing it with a particular malicious relish. this arch dismissiveness to ridicule the idea that sete could ever have hoped to be a sustained rival. it's all about the cruelty of putting sete back in his place. and eventually it gets to a point where it really DOES feel like a curse, where sete can't trust the game valentino has poked so many holes in to work against EVERYONE. injuries eventually make his career tail off. somehow, it feels like valentino is responsible even for that

[kissorkill16]

If Bubba Had Lived In WWWOH: AHNF

By JJ

Summary: The title says it all.

A month went by since Nicky's disappearance, and Bubba was starting to lose her mind.

Every other day, she'd storm to the police department, yelling at the police for not doing their jobs and taking so long to find her grandson.

Officer Leslie always managed to throw her out and tell her that they were working on it.

But the elderly lady didn't believe that.

After the second week, she printed out thousands of dollars worth of missing posters and stuck them up on every place she could around Raven Brooks.

And every other day, they always seemed to disappear or get torn down for some reason.

It made her eyes come to tears and it made her scream out loud.

She didn't think she'd ever see him again.

...But then a miracle came.

The elderly lady was just finishing up with the dishes, then she heard a knock at the door. She set down the towel she held in her hands and went to see who it was.

She was greeted with a young girl with a purple cardigan, pink skirt, black tights, and blue shoes.

"Excuse me, ma'am.", she said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but are you this...Bubba?"

Bubba furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, "Yes.", she said, "Who are you, young lady? It's almost midnight, shouldn't you be at home?"

"Yes, ma'am. But I came here because I noticed that your grandson has been missing for a while, and I managed to get his kidnapper arrested.", said the young girl. Before she could continue, Bubba placed a hand on her shoulder. "Kidnapper?"

That's when the elderly lady looked behind her to the police cars, kids on the sidewalk, and police officers laying on the street in pain. She looked back at the children sitting on the sidewalk.

One particular child she recognized just by looking at him...

Nicky.

He looked terrible. He was all scratched up, his clothes were dirty, and he wore a filthy potato sack over his head with a stitched smile and red button eyes.

She ran past the little girl and ran over to her grandson, grasping his shoulders.

"Nicholas, I finally found you!", she said, "What happened to you? Who did this to you? Why are -..."

She looked behind her to see someone in one of the police cars.

Mr. Peterson.

The demon man.

Bubba once again saw red. She slid her hands off of Nicky's shoulders and stood up to walk over to the car.

Without another thought, she pulled open the door of the car, pulled Mr. Peterson out, threw him on the ground, and attacked him.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!", she yelled, "I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WAS YOU, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A HUMAN! YOU KIDNAPPED MY GRANDSON! YOU JUST MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR PATHETIC LIFE!"

"GET OFF ME, YOU MANIAC!", yelled Mr. Peterson.

The two were full out brawling, swinging at each other and nearly getting one another in a chokehold before they were kicked off from each other. Police officers quickly got up despite the pain they were in to try and pry them away from each other.

As everyone was going home, Bubba took Nicky by the hand and pulled him in the house, slamming the door on the way in.

Then Nicky wrapped his arms tightly around his grandmother, and began crying into her dress.

"I'm so sorry, Bubba!", he cried, "I was so scared in there! There was a demon who kept forcing me to play with it, and that madman told me he wanted to make me look insane so no one would look for me!", he calmed down a little, wiping his eyes and pulling away from her as he continued. "I kept crying out for someone to help me, even you. But I knew you wouldn't come for me after what I said, and - and -"

Bubba bent down and pulled her grandson into her embrace, burying his face in her shoulder. "Nicholas, I have been worried sick during the month you were missing, and I couldn't eat or sleep for days! I kept snapping at the police to find you, I put up missing posters all around town. Don't you dare think that I wouldn't come to your rescue if I knew that the demon man did this to you."

Nicky stilled in his place, and he slowly pulled the bag off his head, showing his bloodshot red eyes and dirty, scratched up face.

His shiny jade eyes have mysteriously turned into a dark brown.

"You did all of that for me?", he asked.

"Yes, Nicholas.", said his grandmother. She bent down lower until she was on her knees. "I missed you so much while I was in the home, and I would've given my soul to the devil himself if it meant I could see you again."

She took her hands and held them in hers.

"I'm sorry I called you a cursed child. I'm sorry I blamed you for the little girl's death. I never should have made you feel like any of the bad things that happen in this God forsaken town is your fault.", she said, her voice starting to break as her eyes filled with tears. "I only wanted to protect you, and I did so in my own horrible way. You were happy when you came to this town, and I only made your life worse with my insane beliefs and behavior. Will you ever forgive me, little wolf?"

Nicky's eyes filled with tears, and he wrapped his arms around Bubba once again. "I missed hearing you call me that.", he said.

Bubba smiled and picked up the boy and gave him a kiss on his forehead. "Let's get you cleaned up and ready for bed."

She took him upstairs and to the bathroom, and immediately patched up the scratches on his body, and Nicky tried to keep still as she pressed the tiny towels of disinfectant on his body. The elderly lady then put a couple of eye drops in his eyes to lessen the red strains.

She let Nicky go to his room to change into his pajamas. When he finished, she tucked him into bed and didn't leave until he was fast asleep.

As she left Nicholas to sleep, she made a mental note to have a little talk with Jay and Luanne.

Next part:

[rayslittlekitten]

Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls

A/N: This is finally done! I swear I started this like two years ago inspired by a Writer Wednesday prompt and I kinda got stuck trying to paint the exact picture I had in my mind and I think I finally succeeded. Okay maybe a little less detailed, but it's got the point I wanted to make across. This is kinda like a villain origin story. I chose to pair him with an OC (who also has physical descriptions) instead of reader character because this is really all about Dieter and I don’t think the reader would want to be the OC anyways. Also thanks to the lovely @lovebarefootblonde for beta reading!

Rating: T/M

Word Count: ~4.5k

Pairing: Young!Dieter Bravo (18+) x Named OFC

Plot: Dieter stumbles into his own Hollywood movie, but it's not the ending he expected.

Contains: mentions of sex, recreational drug use, angst

The sun is starting to set and palm tree silhouettes sway in front of the pink and orange skyline. The Golden Hour. The light casts long shadows as the glowing star descends. Dieter quickly pedals, cutting through alleyways and side streets to avoid the rush hour traffic and tourists.

Finally, he bursts through the front door of his apartment holding a take out bag and sweating like he just ran a marathon. He pants and tries to catch his breath as he quickly makes his way to the kitchen and shoves the bag into the nearly empty refrigerator. After slamming the door shut, he jogs over to the bathroom where he passes his roommate on the couch.

"I brought home some leftovers if you want it," Dieter quickly mentions.

"Is it a cheeseburger?" his roommate asks, his eyes never leaving the television screen.

"No! It's spaghetti and meatballs!" Dieter shouts from the bathroom where he starts getting rid of his sweaty and smelly clothes from waiting tables all day after turning on the shower.

"There's a party happening downtown tonight. Are you going?"

"No, I got this gig last minute. I gotta leave in like 10 minutes," he replies before shoving his toothbrush into his mouth.

"Come on, there's gonna be so many women there!" his roommate comments.

Dieter rushes through cleaning his teeth and spits into the sink.

"I'm working the Titanic premiere at the Chinese theater," he shouts before jumping into the shower, not even waiting for the water to warm up. He shrieks at the shock of the cold temperature.

After Dieter's record quick shower, he throws on some decently clean clothes after giving them a sniff and then shoves his feet into his shoes.

"The Titanic premiere? Get out! Who the hell did you have to blow to get that gig?" his roommate asks skeptically.

"No one. One of my coworkers also works catering and someone dropped out," Dieter shrugs. "I'm getting paid to serve stars. I'm not passing up on that."

"Well, look at you, climbing the Hollywood social ladder. Next, you're gonna tell me you're the new Leonardo DiCaprio."

"You could be the next Leonardo DiCaprio if you actually went to auditions instead of waiting for someone to notice you," Dieter shoots back.

"You do you man. I have my own methods," he replies smugly.

"I gotta go. See you later. Please do the dishes before you go to this party," Dieter adds before grabbing an apple out of a fruit bowl sitting on the kitchen counter and taking off.

***

As Dieter races to the theater on his bike, riding as quick as he possibly could while weaving through traffic, he slows down for a moment when he sees the large crowd lined up by the red carpet outside of the beautiful iconic theater. His breath is taken away as he admires the glitz and glamor in front of him.

The Grauman’s Chinese Theatre is a place he’s gotten well acquainted with since moving to Los Angeles. It’s one of his favorite places to go in his free time, watching all the new film releases. Sometimes multiple times if he enjoys them that much. However, he’s never actually attended a movie premiere and the elegant transformation has him in a chokehold.

As he approaches the theater, he hops off mid-roll as he slows down and hears a loud roar coming from the fans barricaded off to the side. He can't see who it is, but a limo just pulled up to the front of the theater and the screams get louder as someone steps out of the car and walks down the red carpet. He knows one day, it'll be him walking down that plush red carpet and loved by fans.

He moves quickly to behind the theater where his coworker told him to meet her. He sprints when he finds his coworker right outside the back door appearing to finish putting on her uniform.

"Oh, thank goodness you made it!" She says as she buttons up her uniform vest.

"I got here as quickly as I could." He drops his bike and with his hands on his knees, Dieter pauses to catch his breath.

"We don't have time!" She tosses him his uniform vest.

Dieter instantly throws the vest on.

"Come on! We gotta run," she tells him as she takes off inside.

"What about my bike?" he asks as he throws his bag over his shoulder.

"Bring it in!" she shouts from the long hallway.

Dieter takes his bike with him and rushes inside, letting the door close behind him. He leaves the bike and bag somewhere and she gestures to him to hurry. As he follows her, he buttons up and stuffs his shirt into his pants. By the time they enter the kitchen, he's mostly put together as he smooths out his hair, slicking it back.

He doesn't even get a moment to catch his breath when a tray of hors d'oeuvres get shoved into his hands.

"Go, go, go!" the man in apron shouts as he nudges Dieter towards the swinging doors.

Dieter rushes out while trying not to tip over the tray. He gathers his composure and walks around offering hors d'oeuvres while taking in the celebrities and VIPs. He was so in awe of everything and everyone around him, being in the midst of one of the most important parties celebrating what he believes will be one of the biggest movies of the year. It’s James freakin’ Cameron!

Throughout the night, he continues to walk around with trays of food and beverages while taking everything in. He’s taking notice of what people are wearing, saying, who’s talking to who. Even though he’s not able to mingle with the stars, he’s just as happy that he gets to still, in a way, be in the middle of it all. He was even able to sneak into the theater a few times to watch the movie.

As he makes his way back to the kitchen with an empty tray, suddenly he’s blindsided by a swinging door.

“Oops! I’m so, so sorry! I didn’t know you were behind the door,” the person apologizes.

“You went out the wrong door,” he exclaims while picking up his tray off the floor.

“Are you okay?”

When Dieter looks up at the offending person, his face softens. She looks like a Golden Aged Hollywood star. Her long wavy hair cascades down her exposed back. Her floor-length shiny dress is slinky against her smooth skin, hugging her every curve and dip, and flaring out at her ankles. Her long fanned out lashes and cat eyeliner frame her piercing eyes.

“I… yeah I’m… I’m good,” he stammers, swallowing the saliva pooling in his mouth. “Um, can I help you? Are, are you lost?” He vaguely points to the kitchen doors.

“Say, you happen to know where I can powder my nose?” She asks curiously while tapping the tip of her nose with he satin-covered fingertip.

“Uhhh, the ladies’ room is that way,” he points to a general direction.

“You’re adorable,” she compliments with a giggle after a silent moment studying him. “This is your first time working one of these big Hollywood parties, isn’t it?”

“Uhhh… no?”

Something out of his eyesight catches her attention and she loops her arm through his before quickly swooping him away into a different direction.

“So, uh, what did you say your name was again?” She asks as she briskly moves them farther away from where they were, occasionally glancing back.

“I, I didn’t,” he stutters. “Where are we going?”

“You know where we can just get away from the crowd and maybe get some air?” She asks while scanning the place.

“Yes, I actually do. Follow me!”

Dieter stealthily navigates them both to a section for employees only and out through a back alleyway. She looks behind them and when she sees that nobody has followed them, she lets out a sigh of relief.

“Phew! Thank you so much,” she says to him.

“No problem. So who or what were we running away from back there?” Dieter asks her.

“What are you talking about?” She asks calmly.

“You wanted to get the hell out of there and you kept looking back like you’re checking to see if anyone was following us.”

She ignores his observation, walking off a few feet away to put some distance between them as she takes out a cigarette from her clutch.

“Are you in danger?” Dieter asks.

She scoffs and lets out a chuckle.

“No, nothing dramatic like that,” she responds right before she lights her cigarette and takes a drag.

He notices she doesn’t have a wristband or any visible credentials.

“Are you even supposed to be at this party?” He asks her with narrow eyes.

Suddenly the door swings open, knocking into Dieter and preventing it from opening further. He moves aside and pokes his head around the door.

“Hey, sorry, buddy. Did you happen to see a woman with long dark hair about this tall come out this way? She has on like a long shiny dress?”

“Uhhh…” Dieter glances around the alleyway on both sides and briefly notices the woman hiding behind the door with her back against the brick wall, trying to make herself as invisible as possible.

“I mean, that could be anyone here,” Dieter responds to the man with a small smirk. “But no, I didn’t.” He shakes his head to underline his confirmation.

“What are you doing out here?” He asks with slight suspicion, noticing his uniform. “Shouldn’t you be inside working?”

“I’m just taking a break,” he shrugs.

The woman quietly offers Dieter her lit cigarette behind the door and he takes it from her without raising any alarms.

“A smoke break.” He shows the man the cigarette in his hand before taking a puff himself.

“Well, make it quick. if you see anyone matching that description, please let me know.”

And with that, he hands Dieter his business card.

“Will do, sir!” Dieter nods to him as he takes the card.

Dieter watches the man walk back into the building, and when he is completely out of sight, he looks over to where she is and notices she has started to tiptoe away.

“He’s gone,” Dieter tells her.

She stops in her tracks and turns around.

“Thank you for that. I really appreciate it.” She claps her hands together.

“You owe him some money or something?” Dieter asks, slowly walking towards her while taking another pull of her cigarette.

“Mm, I guess it depends on who you ask,” she replies coyly.

“What does that mean?” He tilts his head curiously.

After what he did for her, she feels she owes him at least an explanation.

“We had just met a few hours ago and I charmed him enough to sneak into this party but I got bored halfway in. I thought I’d be able to rub elbows with some important people, but turns out he doesn’t really know those important people here and if you don’t know anyone, you’d be lucky to even get to say just hi to the people everyone wants to talk to, so I dressed my best for nothing,” she replies.

Dieter checks the business card that was handed to him and it reads:

“Lights, Camera, Catering

Abner Bailey Jones

CEO”

“Shit, I think that was my boss,” Dieter laughs. “But that still doesn’t explain why he’s looking for you and why you’re avoiding him.”

“My guess is he’s expecting something in return for him getting me into the party,” she shrugs.

“Oooh,” he simply replies. “Wait a minute. So you got all glammed up and came here not knowing if you were going to get into the premiere?” He asks.

“You gotta fake it ‘til you make it, right?” She shrugs again as she struts back to him and takes her cigarette back. “So you ever gonna tell me your name? You can call me Beatrice.”

She takes a long drag while waiting for his answer.

“Dieter. My stage name," he explains. "It's a nickname my family gave me when I was a kid because I couldn't pronounce theater correctly which I loved going to all the time and it came out sounding like Dieter and it just stuck. The movie theater is where my passion for acting started."

“Of course you’re an actor. What’s your real name?" 

Dieter doesn't answer, but simply flashes a cheeky smirk at her, his dimple creasing deeper into his face.

"Hmm, suddenly so mysterious. Nice to meet you, Dieter.” Beatrice extends her gloved hand out and Dieter shakes it.

“You’re new in town, aren't you?" she asks curiously then drops the cigarette butt on the asphalt.

"Not really. I moved here about six months ago."

"Six months only? Oh, you are new in town," she comments. "Practically a tourist."

"Really?" he asks with a tilt to his head. “What makes you say that?"

"Your eagerness. You still got that sparkle in your eyes. You haven’t been jaded by Hollywood yet.”

“And you have, I suppose?”

Beatrice shrugs and flashes an award-winning smile, her turn to be a little mysterious. Her blood red lips make her perfect teeth even brighter.

“Hey, you wanna get out of here? Got a place we can go to just like, hang out?” she asks.

Dieter looks around to make sure she was talking to him and then stares back at her like a deer in headlights.

“M-me? You wanna hang out with me?” He points to his own chest, shocked.

“Yeah, why does that surprise you?”

“I mean you… you look like that,” he points to her dress. “And well…” He then gestures his hands to himself.

“You look like a star. I just didn’t think women who look like you would want anything to do with people who look like me,” he replies.

“It’s that kinda thinking that makes me want to hang out with you even more. You’re not full of yourself. You seem like a cool guy, Dieter.”

Dieter’s face flushes. “Thank you. You seem super cool too. Like way cooler than me. Oh! My shift ends in…” he glances at his watch. “Maybe another hour.”

“Oh, come on, Dieter!”

Dieter sighs, stuck between staying for the party or going with this beautiful woman in front of him.

“You’re not gonna leave a damsel all in distress, are you?” Beatrice fakes an exaggerated pout while batting her hazel eyes.

“You have a habit of following around strangers?” He teases.

“Strangers? You and me? No. You lied for me and basically saved my life. You’re practically my savior,” she corrects him.

“Saved your life? I thought you weren’t in any danger. ‘Nothing dramatic like that’, I believe you said,” he jabs back.

“You saved me from dying of boredom,” she smirks and it draws a small laugh out of Dieter. “So what do you say, hero?”

Dieter chews on his lower lip as he weighs his options.

“Come on, you really wanna work this boring party? I’m pretty sure half the cast left already,” she gripes. “Oh, I also got…”

Beatrice fishes inside her clutch and pulls out a small baggie.

“Weed! I don’t know if you indulge, but I’m willing to share,” she tempts him as she dangles the baggie. “We can chill out and talk about the movie or whatever.”

After a few more moments, he finally makes a decision.

“Wait right here. I’ll be right back,” Dieter tells her right before he rushes back inside.

“Yes!” Beatrice exclaims enthusiastically.

A few minutes later, Dieter returns with his bag and bike.

“My coworker’s gonna cover for me. She owes me a favor,” Dieter says.

“Sweetheart, I don’t think that’s gonna fit the both of us, especially not while wearing this.” She points out her delicate gown. “Let’s hail a cab!”

***

After grabbing some tacos off a street cart, they end up back at his place.

"I don't think my roommate is home. He went to some party downtown,” Dieter says while giving her a quick tour of his apartment.

When they finally reach his messy bedroom, she notices the canvases sprawled throughout.

"You're an artist?” Beatrice asks while admiring the art.

"I dabble in paint whenever I have the time,” he shrugs. “Which sometimes is a lot,” he laughs.

"Your style is interesting. What do you have going on here?" She asks, pointing to a canvas with splotches of color on it.

"I don't know yet. I just paint whatever comes to my mind." He stuffs his hands into his pockets and shrugs as he walks over to the painting.

"Whenever I get inspired, I just..." He vaguely gestures his hand to the half empty white surface. "I have to admit, many of them have been under the influence," he laughs.

"Oh, yeah? What's your poison of choice?" she asks, suddenly very interested.

“Well, usually just some marijuana. That one was actually a result of the first time I tried mushrooms.” Dieter points to a different painting.

“Have you ever tried cocaine?”

“That’s a rich man’s candy,” Dieter replies, shaking his head.

“I can get some for us,” she offers. “I know someone.”

“You have that kind of money?” He asks curiously with a raised brow, inching closer to her.

“Money isn’t the only currency there is, especially out here in Hollywood."

Dieter studies her for a few moments trying to understand what she could mean.

“A-are you… do you…” He couldn’t bring himself to finish the question without possibly offending her.

“No, I’m not a prostitute if that’s what you’re going to ask,” she chuckles. "But you wouldn't be the first person to think that."

"I'm not judging." He puts his hands up in defense. "Everyone's gotta do whatever they can to survive."

"Especially out here in the wild, wild West. People are nice to each other, but in the end it's everyone for themselves." She tips her head to him.

"I wish you success but also hope I get the role instead of you, ha ha ha,” she mocks with an obvious fake laugh and then rolls her eyes. "So much ego."

“Ouch. Sounds like you've been burned before.” Dieter walks over to her.

"Yeah, but I have thick skin. You've gotta have that to be in this game. You've gotta grow one after the umpteenth rejection. Or even worse, having to suck it up and reject a role because you refuse to suck a dick for it— a background role at that. You mind?" She pulls out a joint and the corner of his lips turn up.

“Not if you share," he replies.

She lights it up and after taking a pull, she hands it to him.

"Can't say I've had the opportunity to suck a dick for a role yet," he chuckles before taking a hit.

"Oh, trust me, you will. There is no discrimination. Women might get it more often, but there are definitely men who have fucked to get a role as well."

“I should be, but why am I not surprised?” he chimes in.

“Enough of all this talk. It’s bringing the mood down. Oh, I’ve got an idea!” she says, taking a drag of the joint as she lays down on his bed. “Draw me like one of your French girls.”

"Are you for real?" he asks.

"Yes, I am." She takes another drag and passes the joint back to him before starting to strip down.

Dieter is shocked and speechless. He is in awe as he watches her remove her clothes until she's down to her lacy underwear. Her braless breasts hang freely as she lays down on her side, just like Rose did.

“Are you just gonna stare at me all night or do you need more drugs?” she asks him after a few moments.

“I’m just admiring the art that’s already in front of me,” he replies before taking another toke of the joint.  “Not sure if any amount of drugs will do it any justice.”

“You’re sweet,” she comments as warmth rises to her face. “But I wanna see what you see. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

Dieter continues to study her for a few more seconds before finally nodding.

“Alright. I think I got something.”

He passes the joint back to her and with that, Dieter starts squeezing some paint onto his palette, mixing colors and spreading them on the canvas. His dark round eyes dart around her face and body, taking in the image in front of him and then finally scraping some paint onto the canvas to spit out what his mind is processing.

She can’t see what he’s doing but notices he’s using a lot of different colors and broad strokes. After about ten minutes of this, a wide smirk plays on his face.

“What? Do I look silly like a Picasso or something?” She asks.

“No,” he shakes his head. “I just can’t believe the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met is naked on my bed, asking me to paint her.”

“You don’t get a lot of women getting naked in your bed for a portrait?” She teases before taking another drag and passing it on to Dieter.

“No,” he laughs, taking a pull of his own.

“Although, I’m not quite naked yet.” Beatrice slides off the bed and struts towards him. “Let me see what you’ve got so far.”

“No, no, it’s not quite finished—“

She takes a peek despite his protests and the breath is knocked out of her.

“Dieter, this is…” She’s at a loss for words.

“Yeah, I know, it’s… it’s really rough and—”

“This is beautiful!” She turns to him.

It’s a somewhat abstract piece with globs of paint spackled onto the canvas. He highlighted the soft features of her face and how her tendrils of long curls hung off her head. Her bright red lips pop out against the browns, beiges and yellows behind it. A splash of blue and green in the background pulls her away from the canvas. While her body isn’t complete yet, the simple and rough outline he laid out seemed intentional. If he hadn’t said anything, she would have thought he was finished.

“Thank you, you’re kind.” His face heats up as he rubs the back of his neck.

“I mean it, Dieter. Seriously! You have a gift.”

Dieter is now the one speechless. His face starts to get warm and pink.

“But maybe you need a closer look to finish this painting. Catch the details you might have missed.”

Beatrice proceeds to push her panties down until they hit the floor, which made his jaw do that as well. She then takes the joint from him, takes a big hit and straddles his lap. Leaning in, her lips graze his as she opens her mouth. He opens up his own and sucks in the smoke into his lungs. After a moment, their lips meet and they begin to make out, working up to fog his windows.

***

When Dieter wasn't at an audition or waiting on people, he spent most of his time with Beatrice. They'd sneak into movie theaters to catch a flick, especially when they were playing classics, which they both appreciated, but many times they ended up making out instead. Sometimes they'd take long strolls along the Santa Monica pier while smoking weed. At some point, she introduced him to cocaine and whatever drugs she was able to get her hands on, and in turn he would churn out pieces of art while admiring her, his muse.

They did almost everything together. They laughed, cried, loved, and tripped together. They even went on auditions together and supported each other in preparing for them. He had such a strong connection with her, sharing the same passions and navigating life together in this crazy movie town. He thought he found his soulmate.

It was the best time of his life. He was living his own Hollywood movie and he felt like he was at the top of the world, just like Jack Dawson, but he then learned he’s no Leonardo DiCaprio. As quickly as he got high on all this, the crash came down just as fast.

"I don't understand," Dieter says, confused.

"You don't make friends in this business, Dieter. You make transactions and deals."

"Wow," he could only muster up with wide eyes. "What about relationships? Friendships? Do you have any connection - a genuine connection - with anyone?"

"The only connections I need are transactional. I give something in exchange for something else, whether it be for survival, pleasure or power."

He scrubs a hand over his face and studies her for a few moments.

"So what was I? What did you get in exchange for... for whatever this is?" Dieter asks, waving his hand between them.

"You had a good time, right?" she shrugs as she throws a small smile.

"This was more than just a good time for me," Dieter shoots back with air quotes. "I-I thought we had something special. We talked about making it in Hollywood together!”

"Oh, honey..." she frowns and reaches for his face, but he flinches, pulling away from her and walking off.

"How do you-- how can you--" Dieter takes a deep breath to compose himself.

"Hollywood is going to eat you alive, sweetheart. You're not cut out for this place," Beatrice shakes her head.

"No," Dieter shakes his head. "You get one fucking role and then you think you're too good for me?"

"It's nothing personal," she explains. "I'm just playing by the rules. I didn't create them. And once I'm in, like in in, I can help maybe you get your foot in too."

Dieter is speechless. He just stares at her with misty eyes and brows turned down, shaking his head in disappointment.

“I don’t need your charity or… or your fucking connections! Did you have to suck a dick for that role?”

She looks back at him in disgust and scoffs.

“No need to be rude. I earned that role,” she replies with her arms crossed.

“That’s not a no,” he retorts.

“Whatever. I don’t need to explain myself,” she huffs. “Look, I just came to tell you I can’t see you anymore and to pick up my things and say goodbye.”

Dieter just stares at her again, trying to process what is unfolding as the reality sinks in.

“Just go. Take your shit and go,” he simply says.

After she gathers her things, she takes one more glance at him.

“Goodbye, Dieter.”

When he doesn’t respond, she finally walks out the door, leaving Dieter to cry alone and pick up the broken pieces of his heart.

[etrevil]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

So sorry for the late answer!

1. Athanasia de Alger Obelia (Who Made Me A Princess)

First hyperfixation, the manhwa I saw from start to finish. Art is just absolutely beautiful and I've been attached from the very start. Her character arc surrounding her father, Claude, had me clutching my pearls and sobbing my eyes out.

2. Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Strongest hyperfixation on the series yet. There's a certain feel I get whenever I see or read content about him. Do I relate to him? Concerningly. But it's the sort of connectedness I feel when reading what Odasaku thinks of Dazai and me agreeing and being called out half of the time lol. Lastly, he's just so pretty.

3. Chuuya Nakahara (Bungou Stray Dogs)

This man's backstory has me in a chokehold. He's gone through so much shit but, compared to other characters, he remains a "good" man. Such a complex character I can't get enough of tbh. Asagiri really paired the donut man and one of the most beautiful written characters together and I love it/pos. Lastly, also very pretty. Imagining him together with Dazai, whether platonic or romantic, is also a treat.

4. Wilbur Soot (dsmp, qsmp, general yt)

His content just, helped me get through quarantine. Also his songs are just bangers, and Lovejoy is one of my top favorite bands next to The Neighborhood.

5. Kim Dokja (Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint)

One of the first Korean novels I've ever read and finished. He is just such a well-done character, and ORV as a story in general should become a literary classic (in my humble opinion). The way he seeks comfort in a story and is willing to stay until its very end, I relate to that so much, and I just feel for this tragedy-surrounded man. I wish only the best for him and his company.

6. Cale Henituse (Trash of the Count's Family)

I remember reading the novel in its early stages and waking up for school, to then eat cereal and slowly finish reading what's been published in the dim light. Haven't touched the second book yet, but the first book was just, woah. Amazing. Rollercoaster ride. Our young lord really should start looking out for his health more, everyone's so worried.

7. Han Sooyoung (Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint)

Her story arc of being an antagonist, to the third member of their trio, and [spoiler], was an absolute blast. Her character was written with such a personality she touched my heart with her spunk and gentle care towards her friends. What she's done for KDJ is absolutely what tore my heart out. She deserves so much. They all do. Speaks even more to me since I'm a writer. Love her with all my heart <3.

8. Achilles (Greek Mythos, the Song of Achilles)

He amuses me. His rage, his reactions, the slaughter he made across the battlefield, and the way he eventually died. The fact we have historical evidence from a vase that people back then saw him rolled up into a blanket burrito during his sulking period. That he sent out one of his "closest" men in his own armory and grew enraged (understatement) when he returned as a corpse. I just, love him. Words cannot explain how I hold him, and Patroclus, to a high regard in my heart.

9. Tallulah (qsmp)

Best egg child to ever exist. Second is Chayanne. The admin for this character just stole us from the very start. Deserves a thousand bamboo flutes.

10. Ayna and Ranonthean (Secret Lady)

Might be considered cheating but these two are a couple and the toxicity cannot exist without the other. The slow unfurling of how their love story that led to the actual FL and ML's current predicament (read the story it's so good) absolutely rocked my shit. Like, omfg their children. Her family. Fate itself. I wanna sock Fate in the face. They're in love, but their love cannot thrive in a place like that. At least not for long. And it shows; the chapter this image is from, side story 11, has me by the throat. Banana-nim's art just makes everything better. They're relatively good for each other, but because of the situations forced on them, shit happens. Doomed by the narrative indeed.

Special manhwa couple mentions:

Angela and Rayburn, "I Stan the Prince"

Penelope and Callisto, "Death is The Only Ending for the Villainess"

Ines and Carcel, "This Marriage was Bound to Fail Anyway"

Shuri and Nora, "Stepmother's Marchen"

Eris and Anakin, "Kill The Villainess"

Raeliana and Noah, "Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Manor"

[ladysansana]

favorite problematic ships with woc? Can be any type of media

Anon I got so excited when I received ask then I realized I had to dig really hard into the core of my memories to for problematic ships with women of color. Media DEFINITELY need to do better in this regard, but I am absolutely responsible for engaging in more stories with WoC in fucked up dynamics.

Maybe I can come up with more if I give it more time but, I've sit with this ask long enough it's become procrastination at this point. So here you go, anon, and if anyone has any problematic ships with WoC that you wanna share please do! <33

Also, spoilers ahead, because I do wanna make a mini ramble for each pair, but it's all from my hazy memory (+ wikipedia) so <(")

Not in any particular order, and wall of text ahead:

Kijung x Kiwoo - Parasite (2019)

Problematic trope: Incest

Cunning and quick witted siblings from a poor family who finessed their way into a rich and snobby family's trusted staff team. My fav thing about them is that despite being the older brother, Kiwoo really acknowledges Kijung's immense talent, and aura lol that scene where he served her champagne when she was in the rich family's bathtub??? And he said she looked like she belonged there hello??? Sir even if her body was covered by bath foam you were still CASUALLY serving her champagne in a fucking BATHTUB???!!! SIR???

Also I have GOT to recommend @thefudge's Kijung x Kiwoo fic on ao3 the fact that it's the only fic in the fandom and it's a work of art. To quote Mr. Cullen, "my personal brand of heroine" <3

2. Shuri x Everett - Black Panther (2018)

Problematic trope: age gap, barely of age

I cannot believe I almost forgot about them considering they had me in a CHOKEHOLD back in the day (and still got a special place in my heart). One thing I love about the older man/younger woman/girl dynamic is when the older one is in awe of the younger's talent, and the younger one derives joy and even validation, especially validation, from that. So when Shuri sparked with excitement when she revealed to Everett the truth about Wakanda and its brilliance ... yeah ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ) And obviously when she called him another broken white boy to fix and colonizer that got me lmao.

3. Dream x Death - The Sandman (2022)

Problematic trope: Incest

Godly siblings who appreciate and confide in one another with a touch of opposite attracts: he's so fucking brooding while she's warm and radiant lmao. Death brings him comfort, but she also calls him out on his BS and makes him understand their purpose, as Gods, is to love and serve humans (or at least that's what I rmb it's been 2 years since I watched the show). Also I love that Death is presented in such a loving and gentle light <3 subverting expectation and what not <3

Also their aesthetic fucking matches <3

4. Elphaba x The Wizard - Wicked (2024)

Problematic trope: (potential) surrogate father - daughter, age gap, manipulation

(kind of mad I can't find an HQ pic of these 2 in the same frame yet but hey dont they look like a power couple here <3)

Imagine being a young woman alienated all your life for the color of your skin. Then one day you're recognized for your hidden magical abilities and you're validated by this charming powerful older man whom you projected your father figure role onto because your father sucks and hates you while said powerful older man also pretty much said he'd love to be your father figure. Then you realized the powerful older man was a fraud who just wanted to use your power to hurt the people you cared about. So you went against that powerful older man, and he made sure you'd be ocstracized from society for good. For he fears you, yet so in awe of you.

Also you sang your heart out about yearning to be recognized by him and be a pair with him.

5. Rose x The Corinthian x Dream - The Sandman (2022)

Problematic trope: underage, child murder attempt i guess lol

Teenage girl being hunted down by both the villain and the hero only to realize that the villain wants her alive to take down the hero while the hero wants you dead because your power leads to the end of humanity (something in that line, again, 2 years). Peak YA brother <3 I don't necessarily ship them as an ot3 (but I might if I read a really good fic), I'm just really fascinated by their dynamic and how their narratives intertwine, how the lines between good and evil blurs. Something something questions about morals. Featuring a black girl being pursued by 2 hot older dudes <3

6. Haeyi x Chiyeol - Crash Course in Romance (2023)

Problematic trope: underage, teacher - student

After finding out that Nam Haeyi was unfairly disqualified from his class in the private education institute despite passing the exam because a rich parent stole that spot for her son, nation-renowned math instructor Choi Chiyeol decided to tutor her in private, which he's contractually not allowed to do and would end up getting him eaten alive by the rich parents paying for the institute he works at. There was this scene where Haeyi asked Chiyeol why he was risking his career to tutor her, something like that, and I believed he said that he was simply righting the wrong that was her unfair disqualification. He knew that she was a brilliant student that deserved his teaching, so she should study hard to make his time and risk worth it, or something. That, really got to me.

I know this is a list of problematic ships but teacher student has a specific place in my heart and I appreciate it when the teacher has purely good intention with the student.

7. Haeyi x Donghee - Crash Course in Romance (2023)

Problematic trope: underage, kidnapping lol

This one is a straight up crackpair I admit. I mostly ship them because I find both the actors very attractive and that whole kidnapping thing lol. But who knows maybe there's a way to approach their dynamic that makes sense to their character (but then again I find the villain twist with Donghee fucking stupid and my older brother agrees lol so maybe I should just go full on make believe land and rewrite the whole backstory for Donghee. I have to be the one to make the thing I want to happen happen huh).

8. Naru x Taabe - Prey (2022)

Problematic trope: incest

When your older brother represents who you wish to become but also a reminder of why you cannot, at least not yet. Okay that was purposefully vague because I admit, I haven't finished the movie. I was watching it with my friends on Discord but it was so lagging that we had to quit, but we both enjoyed the movie at that point and thought it was very well made, also Predator universe with Native American settings go so hard. So I'll definitely continue where I left off, one day hopefully.

There was this one scene where Taabe discovered that Naru was secretly following him and his crew to the woods because she wanted to be hunters like them. They disapproved of her at first, but Taabe let her joined them eventually. My memory is a bit hazy but that was the gist of it and it really got me. Either Taabe did believe in her potential or he was giving her special treatment because she was his little sister, or a bit of both perhaps <3

9. Miko x Rom - Mieruko-chan (2018 - present)

Problematic trope: underage

This panel was so fucking funny. And the thing is their dynamic is a lot less weird in context, you decide whether it's a good or bad thing. I just think it's fun to see Miko as a highschool girl being cursed with the power to see ghosts and there's this older guy, probably in his 20s, who appears to be a creepy fraud but turns out to be pretty powerful with his supernatural abilities and was pretty helpful towards her during that battle arc (if I rmb correctly). And he takes an interest in her. Last time I read Mieruko-chan was when she was in hospital and he showed up to save her from some ghost or sth and he was really gentle about it.

10. Karen x Sam - Mistresses (2013)

Problematic trope: age gap, fucking dead dad's therapist/mistress lmaoooo

Oh I remember being 14 when I saw this show on TV and fell in love with Karen and her dynamic with Sam. Possibly my first age gap older woman younger man ship ever <3 Karen is a stunningly flawed character who cares about her friends and patients but commits the malpractice of having an affair with her married patient. Then went on to have an affair with his son after he died lol. Then Sam, devastated by his father's dead, seeks comfort in his former therapist and fell in love with her because she's so brilliant and beautiful and caring and all that. Pretty sure there was some mommy issue going on too considering that Elizabeth - his mom - was ... troubled, to say the least. What a shame he died at the end of the season to save Karen (I did warn you that spoilers were coming) but tbh as long as they admit their feelings for each another I see it as a win so I can live with that <3 Also Kim Yunjin is so fucking beautiful oh my god

11. Shen Mei x Jason - Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness (2021)

Problematic trope: he fucking snapped her neck

"Problematic" is loosely used here because they're not *that* problematic but if you intepret it as misogyny against Asian women then it counts so </3 I'll reuse my description from my Spotify playlist for them: "It's about the alluring appeal of shared trauma, height + size difference and co-conspired revenge". Just, the fact that they bonded over Shen Mei's little brother sacrificing himself to save Jason's troop, then went on to co conspire to take over the man responsible for this, killing so many along the way.

Till this day I'm still bitter at the fact that they let Jason kill Shen Mei so brutally while sparing Leon's life to loosely tie the plot together (misogyny against Asian women, but I digress </3). If you want to rid both of them from the RE universe just let her kill him to save everyone else, makes a lot more sense, and this isn't just a shipper's perspective there are non shippers commenting on this, but I digress </3

Also my Meison edit is still my pinned post for my blog <3 One day I'll change it once I finally arrange my blog better but for now they're here to say

So, that's the end of my list! I didn't expect it to turn into a wall of text but, if you've made it to the very end I truly appreciate you and I had so much fun doing this <3

[rosie-kairi]

Aight lads I have come once again to break hearts because Lauriam and Ven have me in a chokehold and this is the saddest yet. Also I am in no way a competent writer so if any of your mutuals or followers want to take these ideas and run with it please by all means go ahead I will be lurking on ao3 waiting for fics and ready with kudos.

Biggest #1 change. Everything is the same except Ventus is actually Lauriam and Strelitzia's actual little brother. Their parents died when Ven was a toddler so 9-year-old Lauriam was now a single parent to his two younger siblings so the protective instinct runs deep.

Since Ven doesn't really remember their parents whenever he tries to picture them all he can see is Lauriam who would comfort him when he woke up from a bad dream, who wrapped him in blankets and sang him lullabies, who helped him learn to tie his shoes button his buttons and zip his zippers. Ven still feels lonely because obviously he loves his siblings and they do spend time together but there's quite an age gap (Lauriam is probably 6 years older and Strelitzia is probably 4 years older). So when they get keyblades Ven is among if not the youngest keyblade wielder and when all your peers are preteens/teens/young adults well it's no surprise no one wants an 8 year old Ven to tag along.

This means when Darkness possesses Ven it's like way more purposeful, he lures Strelitzia into the house and she quickly picks up something is wrong. She draws her keyblade demanding Ven be released and Darkness speaks to her through Ven that he's weak and it would be so easy to end him and just to taunt her has him hold his own keyblade ready to slice his throat. Strelitzia is naturally terrified for her baby brother and quickly switches to begging. She can't fight him afraid he'll get hurt and pleads to spare his life. Darkness then asks if she would take his place and Strelitzia agrees. So she willingly lets Darkness kill her to save Ven, he still watched the murder happen but was in a daze so his memories are hazy.

This of course makes the later confrontation like 10x worse Ven feels so so guilty he feels he should've died and has to repent Lauriam is dealing with grief and crushing failure and in a moment of weakness takes it out on Ven. so when Ven goes to trap Darkness within himself Lauriam is far more panicked but is still unable to stop him.

So imagine Lauriam making the jump forward in time. If they get separated he's now lost both his siblings possibly for good and if they travel together then he's powerless to stop xehanort from tearing Ven in two and the last thing he sees is his 12 year old brother left dying on the ground never able to properly make up for his constant failure.

OUGHHH. GHGHUH

Ventus being their biological little brother..... I am a sucker for that lil idea (thinks about the omori au thing). Also. lol at single parent lauriam. boy experiences the crushing pains of being a single father to two children at the tender age of 9. Any guy can be a babygirl but it takes a real man to be a single mother y'know.

I think that makes the Strelitzia situation worse in both character's perspectives. You are Ventus and you discover that you got you older sister killed. You are Lauriam and you have just been told that your baby brother- the boy you practically raised- was indirectly responsible for the death of your younger sister. What do either of you do in that situation? That's not something you can really come back from.

And all of those horrible things happening to Ven when Lauriam can do nothing about it. Ough.

(I think I'm gonna be tagging this saga as "Windflower Family Fun Times!!!!" because 1. organizational purposes 2. windflower is a cute name for this duo and 3. no one here is having a fun time.)

[saintsenara]

"eighth time's the charm" and "a general history of invisibility" 👀

thanks so much for the ask, @cealesti! and i'm delighted to say that you have exquisite taste when it comes to picking from the work in progress tag game list.

two very tonally different fics here, though...

eighth time's the charm is a piece for @ladiesofhpfest - and, specifically, for the fortnight of the fest which will focus on women of colour in the harry potter universe [you can find the full schedule of themes here]

this bit of the fest should - all being well - get quite a lot out of me [i'm also planning a couple of little pieces focusing on cho chang and angelina johnson, because i admire both of them for yelling at harry at least once], but this is the main thing i'm working on.

and it centres on a woman who is about as far in the background of canon as it's possible to be - she gets literally one mention - but who has managed to have me in a chokehold since the publication of half-blood prince nonetheless...

mrs zabini.

i am obsessed with mrs zabini - she's famously hot! she's clearly killed all seven of her husbands! and yet slughorn was clearly willing to risk it all for a chance to meet her! unparalleled! - and i think that she's the perfect candidate to be given the sort of exploration this fest allows.

after all, where does she live? what does she do? who is she friends with [because it's clearly not going to be narcissa malfoy...]? if she kills her husbands for their gold, does that mean she started out poor? how is that going to be received in the posh, white pureblood circles she might move in? what side is she on during the war? what is her relationship with blaise like, seeing as she undoubtedly bumped off his dad? what is it like for her as a black woman in the spaces she inhabits?

and, above all, what does she actually think about love? did she pick her husbands ruthlessly, only interested in their cash and how easy they'd be to kill? or did she hope each time that she might have found the one, before they inevitably disappointed her in some way?

i think she's a bit of a romantic at heart... so I'm trying to get her to pick a little bit more sensibly for husband number eight.

we've compromised. he's very much not a nice man. but he also literally cannot die.

so there is, then, a little bit of overlap between this and a general history of invisibility...

because, yes, it's one of my guilty pleasures... bartymort.

i've always been fascinated by the inherent tragedy of both barty crouch jr. and barty crouch sr. [who's getting his own well-deserved attention in subluxation, another piece on this wip list], and the fact that - in canon - we only ever see their relationship in the broad brushstrokes of tabloid gossip: the clever, quidditch-loving son of a brilliant politician; the brutal terrorist whose dad was never home on time; the kid who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and the man who sent him to azkaban without a second glance.

and even when we get the reveal - and, may i say, bcj you will always be famous - we're still left confused by a man who would let his own wife die in azkaban in order to free his son, by an elf who wanted her master to have the chance to watch a match again, and by the question of how - exactly - barty crouch jr. ended up aware that the dark lord is named after his father.

what lord voldemort was smoking that night is, therefore, a key part of this fic, but it is - in the main - a coming of age story for a young man whose life is lived, in many senses, in disguise.

never able to live up to his parents' expectations, never entirely sure how to relate to his father, alone and friendless - except for winky - for most of his childhood, mild, polite, and clever...

never clocked by anyone as teetering on the abyss of radicalisation.

ready to be destroyed by the very first person who deigns to pay him some attention.

lord voldemort's habit of collecting waifs and strays is something i love exploring, and him colliding head-first with barty's cataclysmic daddy issues is... a lot.

and, unsurprisingly, it does not end well.

[massiveladycat]

rot and ruin should not be as underrated as it is

OKAY. OKAY. OKA.UY as an avid rot and ruin fan i've got to say that please guys this book series by jonathan maberry deserves so much more!! not all of his books are good but i'm pretty sure the rot and ruin series manages it. they're really good (at least, by my standards) and they deserve a larger fandom it's a story that made ME emotional where some heavy shit goes down, sometimes to the people who least deserve it by the way, PEAK character development. i don't scare if i don't care; in horror books, if i don't know a character well enough, i'm not going to be shedding any tears over them, but i CARE here about EVERYONE involved even the zombies sometimes with our mc, 15-yr-old benny imura, we come to understand that zombies are not monsters. they're acting off instinct. they used to be people. it's not their fault. the book makes us think of the tragedy of it all instead of the fact that, yep, we have to cut down some monsters now!! kill them all!! benny’s older brother tom (ALSO LOVE THIS MAN DHSAYUDAHDSF) gets benny to confront who they had been:

“Look at that woman. She was, what? Eighteen years old when she died. Might have been pretty. Those rags she’s wearing might have been a waitress’s uniform once ... .She had people at home who loved her….People who worried when she was late getting home.” - Tom Imura

So the zombies are not just plot devices or mere window dressing here. it's not just see-zombie kill-zombie run-zombie bite-zombie cure-zombie. love it!! HUMANS - just imagine a world that survives an actual zombie apocalypse. survivors band together in fenced enclaves to try and live, but who will these people become under the strain and trauma and loss of a zombie apocalypse? humans can be the real monsters. maberry shows that and hits it so far out of the park

“They held each other and wept as the night closed its fist around their tiny shelter, and the world below them seethed with killers both living and dead.” Tom Imura – it’s been a long time since i've loved a character this much. tom?? tom is 30 years old, he's loving, he survives, he is a specialist. most importantly, tom has kept his morals. he is deep and soulful and will KICK. SOME. ASS. The Imura brothers, Tom and Benny, are fantastic characters that had me in a CHOKEHOLD throughout the entire book. benny is naive, young, snarky and sarcastic, also tending to mouth off people a LOT.. but he has a good heart, and he's brave and he's strong and he's somewhat a smart guy. yes, that’s my boy, getting his first bokken and killing his first zombie!! he gets some good character development too but for a bit of the book he's a little annoying (but thats to be expected for a 15/14-year-old) i love tom. he's the kind of guy that has your back. his yoda teachings are impressive and thought provoking that can make even benny’s brain not so smooth. going back to Tom, he's kick ass, compassionate, clever, smart, witty, and brother banter is my favorite between these two PLEASE CHECK IT OUUTTT