#this made me sooooooooo happy

[marypickfords]

Jacqueline Sieger on the costumes for her character, the Queen of the Vampires, in Le viol du vampire (1968)

From Je ne regrette rien (2023), newly edited archival interview with the actor.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

OK @taylortruther reblogging her post made me go back and watch the whole BBC Live Lounge performance and her introduction to Can't Stop Loving You is SO revealing in retrospect regarding so many of the themes we've been talking about lately in her later albums.

"The type of love that this song sings about is unconditional love. People say that term all the time and they kinda think that they know what unconditional love is, but I think true unconditional love is, like, do you love someone so much that you would even love them if they didn't love you anymore? That is unconditional love."

Um, "hoax" has entered the chat. 😳

I feel like that goes a long way to explaining why she may have believed "hoax" was romantic, and why "grey skies everyday, would you still stay" was the ultimate expression of love. "Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in" makes a lot more sense in this context, holding onto someone who's drifting away or showing that they may not love you in the way you need or in the way you'd once been. It's kind of heartbreaking because she's so earnest and so emphatic about it, but it's actually so sad in the context of ~everything~.

Help me hold onto you. That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend. And I can't talk to you when you're like this, staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town. Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in. Don't want know other shade of blue but you. I'll be getting over you my whole life. Like waiting for a bus that never shows you just start walkin' on. Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away. I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath.

(My personal opinion is that unconditional love isn't loving someone even if they leave you; it's loving someone for who they are, including their challenges, and not seeing it as a transaction but an action. ANYWAY. Semantics I guess. I find the way she explains it really devastating tbh.)

(video timestamped @ 19:27)

Unrelated: I need an entire show done acoustically like this please and thank you because the entire performance is 🤌

[piko-rose]

My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)

When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.

She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.

She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.

She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.

...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.

Remember this line?

You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:

Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?

...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)

As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.

She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.

I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.

...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.

I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.

And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.

She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.

During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.

She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.

But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.

Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.

...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?

But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.

If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.

I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.

She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.

Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.

So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.

She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.

For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.

She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.

But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.

If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.

But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.

He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.

He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)

She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.

He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.

Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.

They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.

None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.

It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.

Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.

She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.

She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...

She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.

I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.

How much he loves her.

And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.

Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.

It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.

She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.

I feel like this moment here...

-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.

Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.

And it's all thanks to Sonic.

If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.

Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.

He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.

Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.

Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.

They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.

"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

[maydainsula]

The light now poured out of the doorway along with the final words of Rick Astley's “Never Gonna Give You Up.” In that door stood a small person […] so full of “fuck the world” energy that there was absolutely no one else it could possibly have been.

-Hank Green, A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor, 2020

[girlivealwaysbean]

did you talk to my brother he got meds i look like a clown with cotton and soframycin on my nose

wait really? omg i was just. idk i was just being sad thinking if we lived together id drag you to the nearest medical store and apply it on you on a park bench while buying you a ice cream to shut you up and let me take care of you or even if you didn't wanna come id put my bra back on and run and get it or or id order it from swiggy genie

[le-velo-pour-dru]

Ah i am sorry calling you cute we are not close but i just wanted to really tell you that i am sorry if i made you unconfy

Oh, no no no, you don't have to apologize!! Getting that ask made me sooooooooo incredibly happy, that was such a sweet thing to say, it really made my night :) 🩷 I really hope nothing I said made it sound like I was upset or bothered :( Every ask I've gotten from you has been really nice, and I just hope I've been making that clear with the way I respond 🫶 So yeah, you've been really nice to me, and I'm sorry if my appreciation hasn't been clear in the way I respond to you, I'll try to be better about that 💖

[lovphobic]

damn are u me bc SAME (unfortunately)) and it's kinda eating me alive bc one of them has this super awesome bf that really cares about her and is putting in the effort to show it and yeah I'm happy for her bc she deserves the world but also I sometimes think about how I've always been alone and haven't even kissed yet and I'm like. am i not pretty or interesting enough for someone to put effort in?? and i feel bad about feeling envious lol but it's ok

FORREAAAALLLLL like god i love my friends i am happy for them but after having two like supremely toxic relationships its just like. well when will it be my fucking turn huh. and i FEEL u on the kiss thing bc neither have i <3 and ive definitely been pitied for it too.. YAY.

but like. ok maybe this is toxic maybe not but. i think being envious is ok? just as long as its kept in check. like you dont Ruin your friendship over the envy. is that toxic am i cancelled.

[jjcinnajj]

my 21st birthday

at 00:00 i ordered beer with my real id for the first time

my neighbor got arrested while i was smoking outside?? (so random)

i woke up really early, it was gloomy outisde

my outfit ate i wore my Hudiegongzhu "LOVE" printed top and tights, leopard print bootyshorts, kiko x asics shoes and my bear brown hat

long honey blonde hair new fresh lashes u knowimsayinnnnn

we got brunch and bitch i drank passion fruit prosecco for the first time it was sooooooooo fucking goooooooooood

hopped in the car went to superette vintage, my bf got me the cute turquoise raincoat im wearing on the picture from japan

the weather was terrible, it was pouring, but the rain made me so happy i felt like a little jellyfish in the water with that jacket.

saw my friend Maryyx2 live, what a beautiful performance, ill nvr forget that moment <333 my bestie Naicha was there too

we went home and i blowed my 21 candles on top of a brown sugar boba cake from prince tea.

woke up super depressed bc of the alcohol

beautiful day tho, shoutout to life, im so young n lit

[beanghostprincess]

Silly goofy wild and funky idea:

Transman Crocodile who transitioned via Ivankov.

Cross Guild events and Cross Guild Poly where Buggy finally gets the nerve to come out to her two lieutenants and also boyfriends. Mihawk just blinks like "yes? Your Haki is distinctly feminine, so this makes perfect sense. Oh, dear why are you crying, stop that-" meanwhile Crocodile has to bite back every single we traded genders joke and instead just shrugs, going "I quite literally could not be paid to give a fuck. You know I'm bisexual, this changes little, Clown."

Croc does off hand offer to hook Buggy up with Iva if that's smth she's interested in, tho.

Meanwhile Sanji has come out to the Strawhats as a transwoman as well, and the reactions are much more dramatic but no less supportive - if anything, some may be too supportive /hj ((Franky calls her queen and sis and Hawt Mama, Chopper already began working on ways to synthesize estrogen Just In Case, Luffy could not be made to give a single fuck, Ussop is swooning, Zoro informs her that this changes nothing and he'll still kick her ass, Robin offers her congratulations, Nami is already mathing out adding another bed in the girls' room or making a room JUST for Sanji and Ussop to share, Brooke waits 0.006783259 seconds before asking to see undies, just everyone being supportive and stupid))

This leads to Ivankov getting two separate contacts for their services, and so they arrange to meet at a small-ish island to help both, two birds, one stone :)).

Both crews go full Spiderman meme when they come across each other, and Iva handles it with all the gentility of a bull in a china shop, whisking both ladies away while the rest are left just plain gaping and awkwardly avoiding eye contact or completely oblivious to the tension (cough cough LUFFY).

Insert your own silly ideas here, generally.

But when they come back, Mihawk, Crocodile and Ussop are all just absolutely SWOONING for different reasons, full of Respect Woman Juice and I Love My Wife energy, it's adorable and cute and funny.

((Bonus: Luffy calls Buggy auntie without hesitation, and she almost cries even as she punches him over the head))

THIS IS SO CUTE SELJKFNSFLEFNLNDFDLKNSDLK

Okay, so, my thoughts on this. Crocodile having to hold back the 'we traded genders' joke is so damn real and I laughed SO hard. Love him. So true. And transfem Buggy lives in my mind rent free so this is just perfect because I absolutely love her. She's my beloved. She'd be so anxious about it and cry and Mihawk and Crocodile are like-- So done with her because she's acting stupid and dramatic and of course they're going to still want her. And she's crying and they're rolling their eyes and patting her head at the same time. Poor thing. She needs comfort okay??

And,, Transfem Sanji coming out is always so beautiful in my head. She's been battling her gender issues for AGES and now she feels comfortable enough to come out to the crew. She's anxious but she knows she has to do this now or she never will. And it's-- It's so real to me. The way she would explain everything that happened to her back in Momoiro Island and then say that she's actually a girl. And everyone's quiet because they know she's looking at Luffy only right now, expecting an answer from her captain. And Luffy is just like "??? Okay? You're still my cook. So who cares? You seem happier now!" and that is when Sanji starts crying. Because of course she's crying. And of course, Usopp is the one to hug her first because that's his girlfriend and she needs a hug and forehead kisses right now. But they have 0 privacy because Luffy wants hugs too. I mean. Obviously.

Franky is loud af and he's SOBBING while he screams how proud he is of their cook (I've always said Franky feels like a girldad because just look at how he interacts with Nami. And he's sooooooooo loving Sanji right now). Robin would be so so proud too and would say she's happy for her and smile in the sweetest of ways (Robin please adopt me). I think Chopper would also ask a lot of questions before making estrogen, just in case, but then he'd go and try to make it right away. Nami hugs Sanji but the sweet moment doesn't last long because she's already telling Franky her ideas for a bigger, better room for the girls or!!! "Better!!!!!! A room for Sanji and Usopp so we don't have to deal with them!!!!!! But also make the girl's room bigger because I say so!!!!!!". Zoro says he doesn't give a fuck because he will still kick her ass but he's secretly happy that she looks more relaxed and comfortable in her skin. Brook is Brook and he says his Brook thing about panties but I think Sanji would kick him having the best gender affirmation moment of her fucking life. And Jinbe is just the cutest because I think he'd laugh at the chaotically sweet situation and say that strength comes from being happy with yourself and Sanji is the strongest for being so brave and true to herself (he be saying poetic and cute shit like that and he expects me not to absolutely love him. Dad behavior. I am SO sure he would beat the shit out of anybody who misgendered Sanji. But that's what any Strawhat would do, so,,,).

They go see Iva (Iva my beloved) and they're all,, So uncomfortable,, Buggy acts overconfident and says she's perfectly fine and not scared at all of what Iva's going to do to her body (liar. She's scared af and Crocodile and Mihawk know so they keep scaring her even more because it's funny to see their girlfriend crying. Look. The fact that they're soft and dating doesn't mean they're not gonna bully her). And Sanji has smoked like two fucking boxes of cigarettes already despite saying that she doesn't care about it (she has never been more excited in her entire life) and she's holding Usopp's hand so hard she's going to break it at some point. Anyway, Iva is a dramatic bitch and they make Sanji and Buggy come with them to a more private place because they want it to be a surprise for everyone (drama queen. Love them. I would do it too. Trust the process, girls, you're in good hands). So Cross Guild and the Strawhats end up alone and waiting for their girls to come back. And. Yeah. Uncomfortable. Zoro looks at Mihawk at some point and goes:

Zoro: I thought you were gay. Mihawk: I swing both ways. Usopp: Actually, you swing sword- Mihawk: Awful. Shut up. Don't ever speak to me again. Don't even look at my direction, actually. Roronoa, why is your crew like this? Zoro: It was really funny, though. Mihawk: I wish to not partake in this conversation anymore. Everyone just shut up and wait. ............. Luffy: Hey, guys, do you think Sanji's going to have bigger boobs than Zor- Nami: OH MY GOD LUFFY YOU CAN'T SAY THAT Luffy: BUT I'M CURIOUS Zoro: Yeah, she's going to ask for the biggest of boobs only to piss me off because she's annoying like that. Mihawk: Why would you even care about your breast size, Roronoa? Crocodile: Tsk. You care about mine. Usopp: OH MY GOD SJKFNSKDEWKFJNJKSFN

Okay, so Sanji and Buggy eventually come back. Finally. And they were gorgeous before but now they're even more beautiful because they actually look extremely happy with their bodies. I want to describe how I see them but just check @/vongulli's account and see their fem Buggy because she kills me every time and that's the only way I can see fem Buggy now. And Sanji to me looks like @/sibmakesart's fem Sanji. This artist made a nude fem Sanji not long ago and I loved it,, So much,, ANYWAY!!!!!! Getting carried away.. Thinking about women. It's not my fault I'm a lesbian. But they look perfect and they're comfortable and happy. And Sanji's boobs are surprisingly not huge and Zoro makes a comment about that but Sanji is like:

Sanji: WHAT????? YOU ONLY SEE ME AS A BOOB-OBSESSED GIRL OR WHAT? Literally everyone at the same time: Yes. Sanji: Well, for your information- Usopp: She likes thighs more Sanji: Usopp, don't tell them- Iva: And also, my dears, that is not how my power works Zoro: So you did ask for big boobs and you couldn't have them Sanji: I'm going to kill you and wearing heels it's going to hurt even more Usopp: Is it weird that I'm kind of turned on right now? Nami: ...Haha Usopp: Are you okay? Nami: Hey, Usopp, I- Usopp: You can't fuck her Nami: I swear I can't have anything!!! What do you have against lesbians??? Usopp: YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY??? Nami: I dunno, yes??

Crocodile and Mihawk are having... A moment. They will still bully her and they're sure she's going to look extremely pretty crying and whining but right now she deserves to be worshipped because just look at her. Buggy approaches them and she's like "If you laugh I'm going to throw knives at you and then leave Cross Guild and!! And!! And I'm going to be really mad so pleasedon'tlaughireallylikethispleasedon'truinit" and they look at her with the fondest of looks (but gotta be honest, they're so horny right now it's unbearable. Like yes, happy wife happy home happy everything but also happy dick because just look at her). Crocodile is just frowning and genuinely asks "Why would we laugh? You look stunning, dear" and Mihawk follows with "I must say I'm not surprised, since you've always looked beautiful. But you look... More satisfied with yourself." And Buggy has to hold back the tears and that's why she starts saying things like "Pffft. Yeah! I knew I'd be gorgeous like this too! Now I look even flashier!" and y'know, the two men are letting her have her moment because now she looks even better and they can't stop staring at her. So maybe she's right this time when she fakes confidence.

Usopp and Nami need a second to process everything, I think. Also, they both hit Brook at the same time when he's about to ask Sanji the question™. Nami is having a lesbian moment, but of course Sanji realizes and does her Sanji thing like opening her mouth and speaking:

Sanji: Nami-swaaan!!! Do you like how I look now??? Nami, ignoring her and whispering to herself: Disgusting. I hate this. Zoro: At the end of the day it's just curly, huh? Nami: I was thinking with my dick. Zoro: Yeah. Happens. Been there.

So, Usopp and Sanji finally get their moment together because at least the Strawhats are respectful enough to give them their sweet uhhhh two minutes before they start complimenting Sanji. So that's something! Sanji is confident with her body but is a bit shy and isn't sure what Usopp will think about this. Not that she has changed much, even, but, you know. Just different. In a good way for her! But different. And Usopp approaches her slowly and smiling and he's just so so so happy. And he's like "You look gorgeous!" / "... Really? I wasn't sure whether you'd like it-" / "I will always like you! But more importantly, do you like you?" / "I mean- Weird phrasing, but yes. Yes? I think so. Yes." / "Then that's all that matters." And Sanji really, really doesn't want to cry because she has never cried in front of the whole crew. She just can't help it. But Usopp knows she doesn't like it when others see her cry so he quickly wipes her tears away and when she starts laughing (so so happy and full of love) Usopp just needs to kiss her.

Meanwhile, Luffy is there calling Buggy auntie and asking when she's going to tell Shanks about this. She keeps saying she will never tell him and if he wants to find out, he'll do it through her new wanted poster or whatever, but not from her.

[bitchslapblastoids]

so we’re doing the sappy year-end affectionate thing, yeah?

I spent most of my phandom years feeling like a barnacle under a ship that d&p were steering and you were all the actual passengers of. During the time I spent lurking, it felt like fandom culture had changed so drastically that re-entering in any active way would be terrifying. But then I finished writing a phanfic that I’d originally started in 2015. And then I posted it and some people liked it. And meanwhile, I had already been feeling complicated feelings about the lack of engagement with fic and writing across all fandoms. And doubly meanwhile, things just kept getting more and more unhinged in the Dan and Phil universe, and I just wanted to yell about it. So I finally caved, made this blog, and stopped being a hypocrite who whined about how fandom wasnt interactive anymore while I wasn’t actually interacting myself.

The difference between lurking and participating in the ecosystem was that I realized I was a bit wrong. Bc people on here don’t just taketaketake; there is a wonderfully supportive fabric of celebration for creative works, of kindness and warmth towards one another. It’s a small community, but so alive!!

All my weird-kid traits that I keep compartmentalized and tightly managed (read: suffocated) as I cosplay daily as a somewhat normie-adult suddenly had somewhere to thrive and be externalized again. I gained access to this universe that i get to be a tiny cocreator of that is full of delight and silliness and warmth and hilarity. It stood in such contrast to my irl world that has been in flux - moving away from somewhere I loved and people I loved, coping with new peaks of mental illness in my family, building a life in a new city that felt (feels) lonely so lonely, falling victim to my own depressive self isolation habits. but here was an outlet, and suddenly my mind was a creative place to be again. It had been a while since that had been true.

and then tit happened and while I have known for a long time that concerts are the single most euphoric experiences in my life, I’ve always gone alone and anonymous and relished in the presence of unspoken community around me, the experience that feels religious and sacred, sharing in some rapturous devotion to an artist and their music and then all parting ways afterwards. But tit was something new. I’d seen Dan and Phil before, all the times. But never as someone actively embedded in the community enough to actually speak to people. When I bought the tickets, I intended on being fully invisible at my shows. Months later when I actually went, one of the most joyful parts of the experience was all of you, talking to people around me, seeing phannies in the flesh, and yelling on here about it all. It was truly euphoric. When I say it was bouying, I mean it. I felt high for days.

The people I’ve befriended on here or whose ideas and work and vibes I just absorb through their presence on my dash have reminded me how to see beyond the restraints of cookie cutter daily life, how to be radical and loving and how to embrace weirdness and love those parts of yourself, but how to openly love them in other people too; how to signpost that you’re an open recipient for someone’s weird, that their weird is safe around you. Dan and Phil have always done that too, haven’t they?

I started to think about all the people whose brightness and brilliance has touched me in some way on here this year, and the list was immediately too long to even hold in my brain. But probably if you’re reading this, you’re one of those people. Thank you for being around and sharing who you are 🩵

Sometimes I still get a little sad about the level of engagement fic gets vs other creative endeavors on here. But being a part of this renassiance and sharing in a mini writing community within this broader phannie ecosystem has been sooooooooo rewarding. I’m deliriously happy to get to know such an incredibly creative and generous and passionate bunch of humans.

happy 2025 phumblr!! i think we better buckle in for another wild fucking ride. 🧡🧡🧡

[doc-pickles]

sent to save me | sidney crosby (ch. 1)

series masterlist

summary: sid meets nikita’s best friend and runs into a ghost from the past

warnings: none! :)

author’s note: hello! sooooooooo I have probably a million other things to do/write but this came to me and I knew I needed to write it. this is going to be a series and will probably be a lot angstier than my vegas series. I have some ideas for what’s going to happen and I can’t wait to share them with y’all!! anyways I hope yall enjoy this!

xoxo

nina

(ps - title is from ‘always been you’ by shawn mendes)

It starts off innocently enough. He’s at Geno’s for dinner like he does once a week. Nikita is babbling away next to him about everything he’s learning in first grade.

“And Mrs. Riley is super nice and I get to sit next to Vivie who always shares her fruit snacks,” Nikita says all of this at a speed that Sid can barely comprehend but he simply nods at his godson.

“Always with Vivie,” Anna coos as she ruffles Nikita’s hair, her other hand coming to rest against her swollen belly. “Attached at the leg you two.”

Sid chuckles and gently corrects Anya which has her rolling her eyes as she squeezes his arm. Being with his best friend and his family made going home to an empty house hard, but Sid knew he wouldn’t trade his weekly dinners at the Malkin house for anything.

“Vivie is my best friend in the whole world,” Niki rambles on as he runs out of the room. He comes back with a picture frame and shows it proudly to Sid. “This is us at science camp over the summer.”

Sid’s brows furrow as soon as he looks at the photo. The little girl with her arm wrapped around Nikita is a bit shorter than him, dirty blonde hair pulled back into braids. Her big brown eyes are staring up at the camera, upturned nose and gap toothed grin framed with freckles and a set of dimples. Sid stares at the photo for probably a bit too long, the little girl looking somehow familiar even though he knows he’s never met her.

“Nice picture Niki,” Sid smiles when he finally tears his eyes away from the frame. Anya is watching him carefully but doesn’t say anything as Nikita begins talking about how much he loves math.

The rest of the night is uneventful, Geno’s steak and potatoes going over well with everyone at the table. If he and Anya notice that Sid is quieter than usual they don’t say anything to him. It’s not until he’s playing outside with Nikita after dinner that Sid catches his friends whispering to each other as they wash dishes.

When he gets home later Sidney doesn’t even take his shoes off before he’s walking down the hallway to his study. The photo album is tucked into the farthest bookshelf, the dark leather binding helping it to blend in. But he knows exactly where it is, exactly what it feels like in his hands. He pulls it off the shelf and holds it for a moment before opening it to the first page.

‘To Sidney, the love of my life. Happy anniversary babe!

xoxo A’

The handwriting is loopy and decidedly womanly. He traces his fingers over the words reverently before flipping the page. Sid’s breath hitches as his eyes lock on the photo there. Blonde hair, shining green eyes, and a dimpled smile so wide he still sees it every once in a while when he closes his eyes.

There’s a part of him that wants so badly to flip through every page, to take in the smiling woman on the pages and the version of himself that seems to have faded without her. Instead he closes the photo book, shelving it again before he goes out to the living room and pours himself a glass of scotch.

“Why the hell am I still here if you can’t make me a priority Sidney?”

“I’m trying! Don’t you see that? But I also have a team to think about, a whole fucking franchise riding on my shoulders! Don’t they matter too?”

The night and all of his regrets replayed in Sid’s head often. Annie’s tear soaked face, the words they both carelessly yelled at each other. His front door slamming, her things gone from his house by the time he came back from his next road trip.

He’d wanted Annie and hockey, wanted her to see that he was trying to make them both a priority but it hadn’t been enough for her. He hadn’t been enough for her.

And in the end none of it had mattered because three weeks after their argument Sid had shattered his knee in what would be his last game as a Penguin.

Yeah he missed hockey, but he missed Annie Wright more than anything else.

+

A week later Anna’s water breaks in the middle of the night. Sidney drives over and crashes on Geno’s couch as they head to the hospital together. When he wakes up Nikita is poking his cheek with a frown.

“Hey bud,” Sid yawns as he wipes a hand over his face. “Your mom and dad went to the hospital, looks like you’re gonna be a big brother soon.”

Nikita seems wholly unimpressed as he looks at his godfather, “Can we get McDonald’s breakfast before school?”

And because he’s a sucker for Niki, Sid agrees.

By the time they’re pulling up to Nikita’s school Sid is more awake, parking and following Niki up the path to his classroom.

“I’ll pick you up later too bud,” Sid tells him as he ruffles his hair. “Then maybe we can go see your little sister.”

“Nikita!”

Both Sidney and Nikita whip around at the excited voice, watching as a little girl runs up to them. Sid immediately clocks her as Vivie from the picture Nikita showed him. She’s sporting white overalls and a pink sweater, her blonde curls bouncing around in the pigtails fastened high on her head.

Vivie hugs Niki tightly then blinks up at Sid and he swears the air just got much thinner because he can’t pull in a full breath, not when he feels like he’s looking in a god damn mirror. Vivie has the same big hazel eyes as him, the same jutting chin and furrowed brows. But her smile and those dimples… Those remind Sidney of someone else.

“Vivie! You left your lunchbox in the car,” the voice that haunts his dreams is suddenly right behind Sid and before he can think better of it he turns around.

Annie looks much the same as she did eight years ago, her heart shaped face and wide green eyes exactly how he remembered them. Her blonde hair is shorter, resting just above her shoulders now. There’s something else Sid can’t quite put his finger on but he thinks that Annie doesn’t hold that same infectious joy she used to.

“Oh my god,” Annie breathes the words out slowly as she makes eye contact with Sidney. “I- Oh my god…”

“Miss Annie, this is my Uncle Sid,” Nikita explains excitedly. “My mommy is having a baby so Uncle Sid got me McDonald’s and took me to school!”

Annie schools her features as she tears her gaze away from Sid and pastes on a smile for Nikita, “That’s so exciting! I’m sure you’re excited to be a big brother.”

The school bell rings then and Vivie and Nikita waste no time hastily saying goodbye before running off hand in hand. When they’re out of sight Sidney turns to Annie who’s white as a sheet as she stares at her shoes.

“Annie,” the word is low and laced with hurt as Sid focuses on the woman he used to love. “Annie please tell me you didn’t… That she’s not…”

Sidney can’t bring himself to say the words out loud, even though he’s almost positive they’re true. Vivie’s face is ingrained in his mind now, showing up every time he blinks. His eyes, Annie’s smile… He stares at Annie and begs her to tell him anything but what he knows is true.

Please don’t tell me you had our daughter and kept it from me. Please don’t tell me I’ve missed seven years of her life. Please don’t tell me that perfect little girl has been so close and so far. Please. Please. Please.

“Sidney, I am so sorry.”

[moonpie016]

Ok before I throw this drawing at y'all, (even though I, for whatever reason, don't reblog much of anything on here. Only rarely. And probably should've saved this to tag and reblog.. idk how many I could've tagged anyway.)

I could've done that. Actually, it would've been more convenient to do that. Made more sense.

I was surprised, then the surprise turned to delight, sheer confusion, and then back to delight with too much smiling and happiness. Sooooooooo.

Idk how to word this properly without sounding repetitive. But I'm very happy y'all enjoy...my presence? Yeah! And all of you are cool too! Extremely!/gen

(If I've liked your stuff already, on anything, that shows the uhhhhhh, that I like the stuff you do??? The basic of knowledge with how such things work! And think you're very cool. And appreciate the words you all provide on stuff. I read them all. :] )

ANYWAYS.

*Steps up to your doorstep with this odd comparison*

---

---

Now I know where this archetype of character came from in my mind. Kinda. NO WONDER MY MIND DESIGN REMINDED ME OF SOMETHING! It's cus of HIM. The literal loner. Error. Which I have not drawn in a huge chunk of time. I just thought their outfits looked similar. The big jacket and whatever the collar is called, (a lapel??? Idk?????).

Uh, have fun with the nostalgia and possible memories???? Goodness.

Error's cool.

I have nothing else to say about this, I should remake Undertale stuff again. It'd be fun. :3

---

[jadevine]

Sooooooooo as a former musical nerd who never actually got to be in musicals, I find it very poetic that Ariana Grande is infamous for having an affair with Ethan Slater... and Glinda's fiance ends up running off with her best friend. Also, Ethan Slater is Boq in the Wicked movie and I have to wonder what the director was thinking when he cast BOTH of them. I'm of the camp that dating your cast-mates is REALLY risky.

ALSO also, I know I made a crack at Jonathan Bailey being a foot taller than both of his co-stars, but I'm basically watching this for Cynthia Erivo because I don't care about Grande OR him. I was constantly irritated with Anthony Bridgerton, and Bailey just seems the most vanilla person you could EVER cast as Fiyero.

Like, Fiyero is HEAVILY a supporting role in the show/movie about the two most famous witches of Oz. I feel like they only cast Bailey because he's already played Anthony Bridgerton, a rich and conventionally attractive nobleman.

SPOILERS FOR ANY NON-THEATER FOLKS ABOUT WHY I DON'T KNOW IF BAILEY CAN PULL OFF FIYERO!!!

So while Fiyero starts out as a careless prince who pretends to be brainless to avoid the gnawing sadness/ennui in his soul, he eventually becomes a rebel with Elphaba to start freeing Oz's sentient Animals from slavery. He gets captured and tortured, and while Elphaba is trying to save/heal him, she accidentally turns him into a scarecrow.

The productions explicitly show the sentient Monkeys being forced to grow wings as painful, and Boq's actor can also play his own transformation into the Tin Man as horrific and painful as well.

I don't know if Bailey's done anything like that, and I especially don't know if his fans crossing over from Bridgerton are gonna be happy when they find out his pretty mug is going to turn into a sack with a face painted on it. A lot of Fiyero's other actors like to imitate Ray Bolger's walk from the 1939 film, where he's always tripping on himself and bending weird.

Since Fiyero is being tortured and gets turned into fucking straw, Bailey is gonna have to dig DEEP and find some Cillian Murphy Scarecrow vibes for that.

To Future Me, next month: If Bailey actually ends up being like Hugh Jackman playing Wolverine and just absorbing the character into himself for like ten years, I will eat my words without question.

[luciluck2046-md]

HAPPY OCTOBER 29TH!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MURDER DRONES!!!

After 3 years, this is its first time being celebrated while being fully out :3

Now if you will excuse me for the poor quality, I would have made the drawing digitally if I was home... But you'll get your GOOD QUALITY IMAGE in the end :3

Now, I promised you some teasers :3

They're under the cut.

Most of you chose to find out Uzi and N's kids names and a bit of their lore.

Sooooooooo

First child

Name: Mara Doorman

ID: crows-are-cool420 (she made it when she was 12 don't judge her. She can change it she just doesn't want to)

Birthday: February 16th 3074

Gender: Girl, Crowgender(SHE LIKES CROWS A LOT MORE THAN UZI ALRIGHT!?)

Attraction: Bisexual? (She's actually a lezbean but she doesn't know that yet)

Second child

Name: Kris Doorman

ID: knives&swords5780

Birthday: February 25th 3078

Gender: Genderfluid

Attraction: Demiromantic

Happy about the teasers? I'm already giving their names because the second part, which is going to be centered around MARA, not Uzi, is going to be out... After I finish the first part.

And oh God, I didn't even start the story. It's going to be LONG.

Like imagine that the actual adventure starts in chapter 8, wtf did I do for the past 7 chapters???

[defodisturbed]

Forever Festival - Jake Sully x reader

(A/N: hey pookies um i've been waiting to write this but i've been on such a slump :(( so ya I hope you enjoy!!)

Jake sat on a log, watching as everyone danced around the fire. He was enjoying the festival as the Omatikaya danced and chatted among themselves. He then spotted you dancing. He watched you with curiosity, keeping his gaze on you as he drank. As you danced, his eyes burned with flames that were unmistakable for anything but pure desire. His eyes never left you as he gripped his cup. He watched you, your body moving to the music. Every slight move or twitch you made, he was focused on it. Nothing else mattered in the moment.

He'd been Olo'eyktan for a while now, but had yet to find a suitable Tsahik. Until you came along, dancing and enticing all of the other males.

The other males were watching you, and that only seemed to piss Jake off who gripped the cup he was holding tighter. He never took his eyes off of you, eyes narrowing as the other men looked at you.

He stood up and walked toward where you were dancing with the others, a firm look on his face as he watched you from the sidelines. Some of the men moved out of the way once they saw him approach, all sensing the growing irritation that was building within him.

He moved behind you, grabbing your hips and pulling your back flush against his chest. He leaned down, his breath hot against your ear as he spoke. "Come with me," he said firmly before tugging you off into the shadows away from the festivities. You yelped softly as he dragged you away, the other Na'vi whispering and gossiping among themselves. What business did a 43-year-old man have with such a young girl? She had to be at least 2 decades younger than him.

Jake took you into his hut, setting you on the bed. You looked around at all of the decorations and the general setup, admiring everything.

"Olo'eyktan... what is it you need from me?" You asked, unsure of why you were taken from the festivities. You noticed a glint in his eyes that you couldn't quite put a finger on. You noticed lust, desire, and... hunger. But not for food.

"Do you know how the men have been looking at you all night? You're a temptress, aren't you?" Jake growled into your ear. His calloused, rough hands trailed up and down your hips.

"Olo'eyktan... I-I do not know what you mean. I did not mean to tempt the others..." You hesitated. You did not know how he would react to your claim. Unexpectedly, he held back from his obvious lustrous desires. He needed to court you first before you even thought about intimacy.

"I have been looking for a mate suitable for me for a while, and none of the others have caught my eye. But you.. you are different. I wish to court you. To mate with you." Jake rumbled. You were caught off-guard by his forwardness and decided to just go for it. He was the Olo'eyktan. He got first dibs on the food and such, so he could provide for you easily. He was also incredibly handsome.

You looked deep into his eyes. You could see the hurt and the coarse exterior it caused. You knew he needed you, now more than ever.

"Yes. I will let you court me. I would like to be your mate." You smiled, taking his rough, calloused hand into your own. You held his hand with such tenderness he hadn't felt in years. The softness of your skin was that of an angel, and he wanted to keep you forever.

MWAH hope you guys enjoyed it omg I haven't posted a fic in SOOOOOOOOO long!!!!!! I'm happy with this one it was inspired by a cai bot <333

@dyingofcookies

[fae-morrigan]

sorry, i don't know who else to rant about this to and i love the posts you make on jayjon. i recently got into the ship and am annoyed by how much of a lack of fan content there is for them especially in comparison to timber. ex) there's so much more fics for them than there is for jayjon on ao3 even though the relationships started around the same time. i haven't read much timber in the comics but are they really that much better written than jayjon? is that why? as a poc i hate to think that racism is the biggest factor on why, but i could also see it playing a big part...

Youuuuu accidentally hit on something that Jayjonners have been talking about amongst ourselves for ages.

No, they are NOT better written. I say this as someone who does enjoy timbern from time to time, timbern is actually written notably worse. Megfitz, who is their primary writer, is... well, she's not great at her job, and she often falls into certain trappings that I find.... mm. I don't want to dunk too much on her & her writing here but I Have Complaints.

The reason they're so popular compared to Jayjon is twofold:

Yeah, its 100% the racism thing. Like, white favoritism in DC fandom is already bad, its especially bad with our canon gay pairings. Jayjon get very little, Jackson/Ha'wea gets NOTHING, despite both of these ships showing up more frequently or more recently than Timbern. But also, I will say, and some People Forget but I did not: A lot of Timbern fans were more than happy to engage in fandom racism towards Jay & his fans if it made them look better. Back in the day there was a lot of "lol we're soooo much better than jayjon guys dont worry" which in retrospect is FUCKING HILARIOUS but in the moment was very frustrating. White characters who are significantly less developed than their non-white counterparts will inherently be assumed to be secretly interesting, while characters of color who genuinely are a full breakfast will have their every little thing nitpicked and be labelled as 'boring' by default. This is doubly true for a character like Jay, who's race is extremely central to who he is and how his story is read.

Its also because sadly, Bats are just more popular than GOD. Any ship that has a bat in it will inevitably do better than its non-bat counterpart, because DC and DC fandom push the batfam sooooooooo fucking hard. This is an unfortunate fact of life in the DC fandom, if youre like me and you dont care so much for bats or any of the popular batships, you are in for a terrible time and I am sorry. Hilariously, DC itself also was REALLY pushing Timbern at the time. Despite TDR not selling very well, Bernard had an adaptation in Titans, while Jay has not yet ever been adapted into a movie or TV adaptation. YET. Truly it is a matter of time, so they better not fuck it up or i'll appear in their house

But the thing is, fanon popularity does not translate into the metric DC actually cares about: Sales. TD:R did extremely poorly and was cancelled after ten issues, while pretty much every teen Jon comic has reliably stayed within the top 100. Despite being a tie-in comic utilizing several c-listers, basically a recipe for guaranteed shitty placement, Absolute Power: Super Son hit around 86 on the list, which was better than any of us expected it to do. So even if fanon content might take awhile to catch up, at the end of the day, slow and steady wins the race. Pre-order Secret Six, amen.

I will also say jayjonners tend to keep to ourselves. People are mean! Like, really mean. A lot of our fan-content tends to be hidden away in private group chats and accounts, just because we get people mocking us for.... breathing. Once you start Posting about jayjon though, one of us will usually take notice and adopt you into our little circle.